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wikiHow to Be a Nice Person

Three Methods:Acting NicerBeing a Nicer TalkerWorking on Being NicerCommunity Q&A

Everyone can be a nice person, because being nice isn't incredibly difficult. If you think of others, instead of just your own feelings, you're already halfway there, because being nice is simply about putting others before yourself from time to time. If you remember this simple ground rule, the rest will be easy.

Acting Nicer

  1. 1
    Offer help when needed. Offering your assistance to someone who is in need can make someone's day, and it is mandatory if you are wishing to be a nice person. If a friend of yours is in a spot of trouble, it is polite to offer them a helping hand. A positive attitude does point only towards your friends and family. Instead, offer help to all who may need it.
    • When you see someone at work or struggling, simply ask, "mind if I lend a hand?" Even if they say no, this gesture alone is a wonderful display of kindness.[1]
  2. 2
    Look out for everyone, not just those closest to you. Holding the door for a friend is kind, but being a nice person is about being helpful and kind towards everyone. So give a little to a struggling person on the sidewalk, and offer to help out a classmate or coworker when they spill their papers in the hall. You can be the person who helps organize someone's birthday, or brings donuts in on Friday just because. Be nice just to be nice.
  3. 3
    Practice your empathy, or ability to put yourself in others' shoes. Empathy is not something you're born with, it is something you need to work on. Simply put, try and leave your own head and ask, "how does this make them feel?" The goal here isn't to find a "right answer." Rather, the act of putting others before yourself will help you become a more thoughtful, caring, and kind person. [2]
  4. 4
    Get things done without being asked. If you see someone's dirty dishes in the sink, and you're cleaning yours, lend a hand and wipe them up. Help an elderly person put their bags in the overhead compartments on your plane. When you go grab an extra water, or napkins, or ketchup, grab a couple extra for your buddies.
    • This piggy-backs off of empathy -- if you're thinking of other people, it is easier to anticipate their needs and be helpful and kind.[3]
  5. 5
    Make yourself available to people going through tough times. In a crisis or emotional period, your grieving friend wants to do anything but cook and eat alone -- bring them a casserole and some cookies and spend the evening with them. If a bestie just got through a tough breakup, offer to help them clean out their significant other's stuff so they don't have to go through it alone. The best friends, and the nicest people, are those who don't shy away when the going gets tough -- they stand tall.
  6. 6
    Offer your forgiveness freely. Don't hold grudges, and don't continue punishing or getting angry at people after they've asked for forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness is about letting the moment go instead of letting anger or jealousy continue to dominate your thoughts. It doesn't mean you have to suddenly trust them with your secrets again -- it just means you stop harboring ill will if they've asked for honest forgiveness.
    • Even if they don't ask for forgiveness, try and move on. Someone who hurts you and won't apologize is generally not worth a lot of your worry and anger.[4]

Being a Nicer Talker

  1. 1
    Talk less and listen more. Yes, good conversation skills can go a long way. Be polite when you are talking to others and try to always listen intently. By listening to those you talk to, it shows that you care about what they are saying. Try to speak about yourself less and focus on creating a great conversation.
    • If you find yourself thinking constantly about what you need to say next, you're not listening well enough.[5]
  2. 2
    Consider the context before saying potentially inflammatory or difficult statements. Politics and religion tend to bring out the most argumentative of people, and can be conversational landmines. The issue isn't the argument -- even kind people can have good, productive arguments over tough issues -- rather, it is being sensitive about when you bring these things up. A good rule of thumb is to always try to recognize the good in someone elses' viewpoint. If you can't do that, don't bring it up.
    • This goes for off-color or risque jokes too. No matter how funny it is, pay attention to your audience before telling it.
  3. 3
    Ask for help and things, never just take them and assume it is okay. Never bully someone into giving you what you want. This will give the impression that you believe you are 'superior' above others. You do not want to set this impression, so be sure to be gracious when asking things from others.
    • "Hey-- would you mind if I borrowed this?"
    • "Could you offer me a hand? I'd really appreciate it."
    • "I wanted to let you know I need the car next weekend. Will that be okay?"
  4. 4
    Never speak ill of others when they aren't around. Of course, you shouldn't generally criticize people at all, but there are times when telling someone they did someone wrong is perfectly fine. However, that time is never when the person isn't around. Talking badly about people when they aren't around tells everyone else that you don't respect them, and treat people differently when they are around. Nice people know that talking behind someone's back is never appreciated.
    • If you have a problem or question about someone, just ask. Bring these conflicts out into the open to make them much more manageable in a kind, easy way.[6]
  5. 5
    Slow down before speaking. Don't just blurt the first thing in your mind. Wait a bit and process. Slower, more thoughtful speakers don't cut others off, and they don't put their foot in their mouths during delicate conversations. Remember that your opinion is important, and so are your thoughts, but you can make them all more meaningful if you take a few seconds to compose yourself first.[7]
  6. 6
    Mind your manners. Opening doors for people, saying please and thank you, and helping with the chores or dishes after staying with friends is a simple, everyday way to be a nice person. These little interactions may not feel like much, but they ultimately show that you respect the other person enough to take your time and be considerate.
    • Don't feel like you need to be a manner's expert, taking courses or reading books. Just remember to be considerate -- think of your host or other people, and act accordingly.[8]

Working on Being Nicer

  1. 1
    Be nice for the sake of being nice, not to gain personal advantage. The nicest people you know do kind things when absolutely no one is watching. This is because being nice is about caring about more than yourself. Having a positive spirit, kind heart, and willingness to help out those in need isn't about impressing people or getting a reward. Being kind is about creating openness and trust with everyone you meet, showing the world that being nice is its own reward.[9]
  2. 2
    Remember to always treat people the way you would like to be treated. When you fully respect others' dignity, then automatically more people see you as a nice, caring, trustful, and considerate friend. At the end of the day, you want to be respected for your views, ideas, and passions, even if the other person doesn't share them. You should offer the same courtesy to others as well.
  3. 3
    Be trustworthy. It is very important to be trustworthy if you are wishing to be a nice person. You must show people that they can trust you no matter what. People will begin to come to you for advice and sometimes just to vent. You can not tell lies and spread rumors, ever. A nice person would never betray a friend or spread rumors, so be cautious of what you say. Habits of trustworthy people include:
    • Being on time for people, and respecting their time and deadlines.
    • Following through on promises promptly.
    • Avoiding double-talk and dealing with issues or problems head on.
  4. 4
    Take a deep breath and slow down when you feel anger or meanness coming. When the burst of anger hits your brain, try not to react immediately. Instead, try to remove yourself from the situation mentally. Look back on the situation and ask yourself if getting angry or upset really solves anything. Before placing blame on others, ask yourself if the situation is really one person's fault. Give yourself 30 seconds to relax -- you'll be surprised how much easier it is to be nice when you're done.[10]
  5. 5
    Focus on one area of your life where you need to improve at a time. Becoming a nicer person can be difficult if you have a hectic, jam-packed life, but it isn't impossible. Start small, focusing on one aspect of life or one relationship where you aren't being kind enough, and start to make the change. As you do, you'll find it easier to settle down and be nicer no matter where you are.
  6. 6
    Find the silver linings and positives in any situation. Keeping cool, level, and positive will always make it easier to be a nice person. If you keep your thoughts generally happy and optimistic, that spirit will come through in your words and actions. The more you can share a positive spirit with others, the nicer you will be perceived to be.[11]
    • Take a deep breath during stressful moments instead of rushing in. Give yourself 30 seconds to get calm and everything will be much less negative.
    • Look for solutions, not complaints or excuses. Once something bad happens, harping on how it happened helps no one -- move on to possible solutions.

Community Q&A

Add New Question
  • How can I be a good son?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Treat your parents fairly and do whatever they ask when they need a favor. If you have a different perspective of a situation, let them know in a kind and gentle manner.
  • How do I ask my parents for forgiveness?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Sit down with your parents at a time that is good for everyone, then apologize for your transgressions and ask them to forgive you. If they can't at this time, be patient and continue to be nice to them.
  • I want to be a nice person and help others but I'm scared people will think I'm trying to change myself and impress someone. What do I do?
    wikiHow Contributor
    If you want to be nice, be nice! If people are rude to you and think it is for self-gain, they will soon realize it is not if you are genuine and keep at it for a while.
  • How can I make my parents happy?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Help out around the house. If possible, do so without having to be asked. Be kind to them, and try not to complain too much. Try to do well in school so they can be proud of your accomplishments.
  • I know people are talking about me behind my back about my looks. I would like to impress them, but it is stressing me out. What should I do?
    wikiHow Contributor
    You should not try to impress them; especially if they are making fun of you. Just be yourself and be kind. The right friends will come along.
  • How can I get my best friend to talk to me again?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Tell and show him/her that you are really sorry. Write a letter expressing how much you miss and appreciate them. Depending on why they are upset, it may take a little time for them to get over it. Try to be patient.
  • I try to be nice, but people don't come around me except my friends because everyone is scared of me. How do I convince them I am nice?
    wikiHow Contributor
    It will take time. First, truly make sure your friends are comfortable and know how nice you can be. Later that will extend to other people.
Ask a Question
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    • If you truly want to be considered nice, spread the love to everyone, not just a selected few.
    • Don't treat others badly, treat them with very great care and show them that you care!
    • Always ask for something. Never, ever just take it or threaten someone into giving it to you.
    • Be polite even to those you can't stand.
    • If you can't say something nice first, don't say anything at all.
    • Karma! What goes around, comes around.
    • Wish people well.
    • Always be polite. People don't like meanness. Treat others with kindness, and avoid using sarcasm, especially when you first meet people.
    • If someone says something mean to you, try not to overreact. Always find the bright side in things, even when it is difficult to keep your cool.
    • Always offer help, so people know you are there for them.
    • A simple thank you note can go a long way.


    • Don't act like a 'know-it-all'.
    • Don't be too nice as you may creep people out a bit.
    • Never be a goody-two-shoes! Always be nice, but not a smarty pants. No one likes that.

    Article Info

    Categories: Forming Friendships | Personality Traits and Attributes

    In other languages:

    Español: ser una persona agradable, Italiano: Essere una Persona Gradevole, Русский: быть добрым человеком, Português: Ser uma Pessoa Melhor, Deutsch: Eine nette Person sein

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