Sheila Malcolm, a leader in a secular Jewish community called Beth Ami, had long lived her life as a nonreligious person who still participated culturally in Jewish traditions.

Her husband, John, had been raised in a devout Catholic home but decided that religion didn't fit his life.

Living a nonreligious life suited the couple just fine, but the more complicated issue was how to raise their two children. What would they teach their offspring about their religious backgrounds? What would they tell them about holidays such as Christmas and Easter? How would they explain death and dying?

Without a religious context to follow, Malcolm fell back on what she had learned as a teacher in the Boulder Valley School District and decided to approach the topic academically: by posing lots of questions and offering ways to discuss different religious practices with her children.

When childrens' friends invited them to religious activities such as church services, Malcolm said, "I always said, 'Sure.' But I made sure we talked about it afterwards."

Malcolm said her children -- Brenda, now, 29, and Aaron, 27 -- grew up to respect world religions while developing their own nonreligious lives. Yet she said raising children in a nontheistic home was a challenge because there was no support system from other families with similar experiences.

"I didn't know there were other parents out there doing the same thing," she said.

To help modern-day parents who face the same issue, Beth Ami next weekend will host Dale McGowan, who has written several books that explore parenting "beyond belief.



McGowan will lead half-day workshops next weekend in Boulder and Highlands Ranch for parents who want to raise their children in nonreligious homes. The Boulder workshop will take place 1-5 p.m. Nov. 3 at the Meadows Branch Library, 4800 Baseline Road.

For many parents who create a secular home, it's tricky to teach children about religions without doing so in a religious environment such as a church or synagogue, McGowan said.

According to the Pew Research Center, a new study shows 20 percent of U.S. residents have no religious affiliations. It's the highest percentage Pew has ever recorded. That number includes more than 13 million self-described atheists and agnostics, who make up 6 percent of the U.S. population. In addition, almost 33 million people say they have no particular religious affiliation, which accounts for 14 percent of the population.

McGowan said there is no right or wrong way to raise children in nontheistic homes. Yet, he said, it is important to talk with children and open their eyes to ideas, no matter whether they are religious in nature. The trick is to open the door for children to learn about science, religion and everything in between. He encourages a parenting approach that "holds no question unaskable and no thought unthinkable," he wrote in his book, "Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief."

Active questioning and communication is the key, he said.

"It's the human impulse to wonder and ask questions that eventually give birth to both religion and science, two different ways of responding to the same challenge: an overdeveloped neocortex (in the brain) hungry for answers," he said.

In his workshops, McGowan will also discuss topics such as how to balance the belief systems of in-laws, grandparents and other family members with nonreligious parenting practices. For example, some nonreligious families still decide to baptize their children in respect to the religious beliefs of their own parents or grandparents.

Malcolm said she wished there had been nonreligious parenting classes when she was raising her children. Today, there are several Boulder-area meet-up groups of parents who trade ideas and tips.

"It's a small community, but we're out there," she said.


If you go

What: Beth Ami presents a parenting workshop featuring author Dale McGowan

When: 1-5 p.m. Nov. 3 and

Nov. 4

Where: Nov. 3, Meadows Branch Library, 4800 Baseline Road, Boulder; Nov. 4, Arrowhead Elementary School, 10345 Arrowwood Drive, Highlands Ranch

Cost: Free