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How do you react when you watch a bullying situation play out right in front of you? For many kids (or even adults), they may not want to get involved, and they choose to walk away or ignore it. However, being a bystander and believing you are “innocent” by doing nothing is almost as bad as participating in the act of bullying itself.



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    Assess the situation to determine if someone is being bullied. Sometimes, it’s not as apparent that someone is being bullied or harassed so take a few seconds to size up what’s going down.
    • Evaluate the person who you believe is being bullied. Obviously, if he/she is crying or looking visibly upset in reaction to what another person is saying or doing, you can conclude that bullying is occurring. However, if the person seems to have shut down or is not reacting, you may need to observe what the alleged bully is doing or saying to that person.
    • Identify who you believe is the bully. Physical violence certainly constitutes bullying; so does stalking, verbal, and even written assault as well. Pay close attention to what the possible bully is saying or doing to determine if he/she is bullying another person. In addition to pushing, hitting, or using a weapon against another, demands the other person do something, stealing, spreading rumors to the other person’s detriment and ongoing harassment fall under the bullying umbrella.
    • Observe how others are reacting. Are other people simply walking by as one kid hits or insults another kid or are administrators or other kids intervening? If an adult or school official is actively addressing the situation, make a mental note about what happened (in the event you need to intervene in the future), but allow the adult to handle the situation.
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    Size up any danger an intervention could pose. You certainly do not want one person to systematically harass another; however, you need to make sure that your and others' safety is not at risk.
    • Does the bully or the victim have a weapon? Often, if the weapon is concealed, you may not readily know. However, look for protrusions around the sock area, in pockets, around the waistband, or inside a coat.
    • If you believe either party has a weapon, either immediately get adult assistance, or call the Emergency Services. There is no reason for anyone to become wounded as a result of the incident, plus you may not be physically or mentally prepared to handle a knife or gun being pulled.
    • Is the bullying incident primarily physical or mental? Is the bully verbally “picking on” another person, or is he/she using physical intimidation or violence? The method in which the bullying is being delivered should be taken into consideration before you intervene.
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    Approach the victim, not the bully to diffuse the situation. You don’t want the situation to continue to escalate, so instead of getting into the bully’s face, make it about the victim instead.
    • Even if you do not know the victim, make up some sort of story that you need his/her help. Pretend you know the person, walk directly up to him or her during the incident, and let the victim know that his/her assistance is needed immediately.
    • Insist the victim leave with you and have him/her accompany you to a safe area. Be confident and forceful with your approach, making it appear that this person must leave as soon as possible with you no matter what.
    • Find an area away from the group (especially the bully) to talk to the victim. Ask him/her if he/she is okay and inquire about what was happening. If possible, try to get the entire story that may include past incidents.
    • If the victim has been injured, ask him/her about the pain, where he/she hurts, and what happened. Contact an adult immediately or call the Emergency Services if extreme.
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    Bring the victim to a safe area where you can meet with responsible adults. Help the victim find his/her way to help immediately by either heading to the principal’s office, or, if necessary, a police station.
    • Make sure the victim is going to get help and/or receive medical attention. As a responsible person, it’s your duty to ensure that once you’ve gotten the victim away from the bully, he/she receives the necessary help.
    • Ask the victim if he/she wants to contact his/her parents. In some cases, the victim may not want to talk to parents about what happened. While it is important for parents to get involved your role is to mediate and assist. If the victim says "no," remind the victim that his/her parents will be instrumental in getting the bully to stop what he/she is doing. However, allow the victim to make his/her own decision.
    • Remain with the victim in case adults want to ask you questions about what happened. Witnessing the incident makes you an important part toward solving and preventing bullying in the future. Be accessible to adults and answer any questions truthfully, providing as much detail as possible.
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    Talk to other kids about how they should not put up with bullies. It takes more than one person to stop bullying so be an advocate and an example for others.
    • After a specific incident, talk to your friends or other bystanders about what they were thinking and what they wanted to do about what they witnessed.
    • Ask an adult if the school could host a workshop or plan an assembly addressing bullying and what kids, especially bystanders, should do if they witness it.
    • Remind kids that by not doing anything or even joining in with the bully makes them just as culpable.

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  • Practice how to react to a bully. Consider comebacks and how you can break down the bully using words.
  • Counteract gossip by dispelling rumors. Tell people that the rumor only started because of bullying and/or the other person was jealous (or basically a jerk).
  • Because cyberbullying has become even more prevalent, if you witness a person being unfairly targeted on a social media website, report the person immediately and then contact your friend privately and suggest he/she alter privacy settings or close his/her account.
  • Set an example for others. In public, you can be an upstanding person and show people how bullying needs to be addressed and treated immediately (and not ignoring the bullying, as a bystander suggests).


  • If you think that the situation may be too much for you to handle alone, leave and get an adult's help immediately. Never walk into a situation where weapons are involved or physical violence is occurring--it’s always best to find an adult immediately to handle this type of bullying.

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Categories: Dealing with Bullying

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