Coping With Night Terrors

Question: "My toddler woke up screaming during the night. He looked terrified and half asleep and had a lot of trouble settling back down, despite my efforts to comfort him. Was he having a nightmare? What should I do if this happens again?"

Ask Heidi Murkoff

It sounds like your son experienced a night terror — which can be truly terrifying for parents to watch! The good news is that these eerie episodes are not dangerous nor are they uncommon (especially if your child is overtired) during toddlerhood.

What makes a night terror different from a nightmare? Nightmares typically occur during the later, lighter dream (or REM) phases of sleep (which explains the 2 a.m. wake-up call you get with a nightmare). Your child will likely appear calm during a nightmare but may be frightened and upset afterward, when he wakes up and clings to you for comfort. He may remember the nightmare the next day.

During a night terror your child seems to be awake, but is in fact asleep. You may see him sweating and breathing fast and even feel his little heart beating at a rapid rate. He's likely to appear scared and confused, even panicked, and may talk, cry, or scream. A night terror usually occurs early in the evening (one to four hours after he's fallen asleep, during very deep or non-REM sleep). Fortunately, your child will not remember any of this the next day (though you surely will!).

What can you do to comfort your child during a night terror? Not much, actually. Don't wake him or try to hold him; remember, he's sound asleep and startling him may only upset him more. Instead, just stand by until it subsides (night terrors usually don't last more than 30 minutes). Your only job (besides trying to keep yourself calm) is to make sure your son doesn't hurt himself if he starts thrashing. Once the night terror is over, your child will calm down and return to a relaxed sleep.

Unfortunately, there's no way to ensure that your son won't have another night terror —but because overtiredness seems to contribute to them, you should make sure he's getting enough z's. If he has more than three night terrors in a year, or experiences them past the age of six, speak to his doctor.

Sweet dreams to you both!

Heidi Murkoff