Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Dealing with difficult people

We often hear people talking about their "difficult colleagues" or "difficult customers". However, here's a tip for learning to deal with difficult people.

For starters, stop referring to them as difficult people - because that makes it sound like a personality fault of theirs. Refer instead to the precise behaviours that make them difficult.

For example, rather than saying "she's too talkative" (an adjective which implies something about her personality) say instead: "she is talking too much" (which describes a behaviour that you can therefore tackle). Or if someone is not telling you the whole truth, avoid saying "he's a liar" - instead say: "he is not telling me the whole truth".

To sum up, use behaviour words rather than personality words. Then when you decide to ask the advice of other colleagues or even decide to speak to the person who is causing you difficulty, you can tackle their behaviour (which can be changed) rather than their personality (which can't be changed).