Wendy Doves Blog

Well being for the body, mind and spirit.

The Liberating Truth About Forgiveness

The Liberating Truth About Forgiveness

It is said that one of the hardest things to do is to forgive. The idea of forgiveness is absolutely related to the idea of mistakes. It's a bit of a catch 22, because mistakes are only made when we have not learned the lesson of understanding that we will learn by making the mistake.

The upside of this awkward necessity, is the opportunity to learn about the importance of mistakes and the need for people to make them in order to grow and ultimately to increase their/our depths of understanding and compassion, because forgiveness is a two way thing.


― Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiving Another

So forgiving someone for something they have done that caused pain, we have to let go of judgement. Often our distress about something that has happened is because it is not what we would like to have happened, if we didn't want it, we judge it as a wrong doing, so there is an element of letting go and remembering that we don't control anyone or what they might do and that their journey into wholeness is uniquely their own and includes the freedom to make mistakes. Besides, isn't our own conscience our own best judge? (psychopaths excluded, this might be the wrong blog for you?)

Forgiving Yourself

Enter your text here ...

Which brings us to forgiving ourselves. The hardest thing about a mistake is often the hurt you may have caused another by making it, nobody usually goes out to intentionally hurt another ~ and ironically how much the other is hurting is due to their own ability to forgive. But while they are busy forgiving you, you need to forgive yourself, because guilt is a very negative emotion and will stifle any positivity in you life and the chance of healing.

"In the clarity of understanding, forgiveness is unnecessary" 

― Byron Katie *1

There is one thing that makes forgiveness easier and that is understanding. In the process of understanding, forgiveness happens so automatically that we can almost write it off completely. We begin to see, that attached to a 'wrongdoing' is a long story of passed wrongdoings and that what really needs to happen to end this story happily, is for us to understand and forgive. It doesn't matter how bad it is, the story behind it will always help us forgive, because essentially we are all good and looking for a happy life full of meaningful relationships.


A very helpful quality we can develop to help us understand is the mental ability to empathise. Empathy is the ability to imagine what they are feeling. By putting yourself in the other person's shoes, we can relate to them and sense what they're experiencing, you begin to 'feel' their suffering as if it were your own and rather than add to it you want to relieve it. In this way empathy leads to forgiveness.

The idea of 'restorative justice' is a process intended to bring healing, for both the offended and offender. Both parties meet face to face and empathise. The person/s on at the receiving end of the crime rise above the role of 'victim', transcending the anger with understanding and forgiveness towards the offender and freeing themselves from the burden of hatred. The offender empathizes with the victim, becoming aware of the real meaning of their crimes gaining a wider sense of perspective to the repercussions of their actions, and are less likely to re-offend.

Research shows that people who are more empathic feel more satisfied with their lives, and have better relationships. Scientists today are discovering that empathy is natural to us, even so some people do need to improve their ability to empathise.

Psychic mediums are blessed with a strong sense of empathy that enhances their intuitive ability to 'sense' another's feelings.


― Martin Luther King Jr.


If we really take this idea on, forgiveness actually becomes more of an attitude than an act. Instead of taking things personally and in fear that the world is out to harm us, we will be braver in the face of the "lessons" of others, having faith that the soul of things is innocent and remembering that we are involved in a process that is too large and mysterious for us to fully understand.

...And if the compassionate, noble reasons for forgiveness to innocent mistakes don't apply, then maybe Oscar Wilde's advice does :


― Oscar Wilde


Psychic Phone Readings

Psychic Phone Readings. Our Psychics and Clairvoyants offer professional psychic readings online clairvoyants

People are always asking me this question, so here...
What did the Internet ever do for us? The Pro's an...