Monday, 12 August 2013

Being alone

I've been thinking a bit lately about children - and adults - having the ability to spend time in their own company. I think it's such an important skill for children to have, when they are young and when they are older.

I have noticed for years the way so many of us can't stand at the bus stop without putting our heads in our cell phones, or, it seems, do almost anything at all alone without turning to technology (or quickly grabbing a few friends).

I want my children, as they grow, to ride the bus with their heads pressed against the window watching the world flashing past, or notice the old lady who needs a seat, or the shopper who has dropped a bag. I want them to go for walks and listen to the sounds of the traffic, or the stream, or the seagulls. I want them to smile and nod at those who will meet their eye. I want them to relish an afternoon in the sun with a book. I want them to look up and see the sky. I want them to get lost in their own thoughts. I want them to love their own company.

And now, while they are little, how shall I teach them this? I try to give the little guy quiet time after lunch, partly to give me a break, but partly to help him learn to be on his own. I must say, it often gets passed by as we (or he) get engrossed in other things, but perhaps, after writing this, I should make it a priority.

Do you have any ideas on how else to help them learn to enjoy alone time? Do you make it happen for your children? And what about you? Do you know how to look around the bus stop, or wait at the takeaway counter with your phone in your pocket?


  1. i think it's called quiet time? there's probably something "mindfulness", which is pretty popular right now. it's been explained to me as "watching the mind". for example, just watching one thing for ages, and watching the emotional response and the thoughts that pass through, like an outsider watching in, but feeling it and understanding feelings at the same time. move from there to where those feelings come from, and perhaps why.... as they get older.

  2. Great post. I am a huge believer in allowing plenty of time for thinking, observing, being in one's own company and simply "being" on a daily basis. when I am waiting in line etc I try to remember to use the time to be mindful rather than look at my watch or phone etc. In our fast-paced, technology-driven world this is harder to hold on to and pass on to children I think. I guess giving our children lots of space to play on their own and be creative as well as role-modeling taking time out from busy-ness to just be in the present will help...