7 psychological steps to getting people to trust you

Who Are the Most Trusted People in America?

The benefits of projecting trustworthiness are enormous, and as Columbia University professor Heidi Grant Halvorson explains in her book "No One Understands You And What To Do About It," the costs of failing to do so are significant as well.

One study published in the Journal of Knowledge Management shows that employees are more willing to share information with colleagues when they trust them. People feel less territorial when they think of their coworkers as friends. And companies with the lowest turnover rates are the ones in which leaders inspire trust in their people.

To figure out if you are trustworthy or not, a person would analyze your words and deeds to determine if you have good intentions toward him and if you have what it takes to act on those intentions.

People's perception of you as trustworthy, then, lies in your ability to convey warmth and competence. Luckily, there are ways you can easily communicate this to others:

1. Put your best face forward.

You could come right out and tell someone, "I mean you no harm," but due to the "weirdness factor" of uttering such things, you'd be better off signaling your warmth more indirectly, Halvorson says. The first step to doing this showing that you're paying attention.

To do this, Halvorson recommends smiling, keeping eye contact, and nodding to show that you're really focusing on what the other person is saying.

Photo Credit: Flickr/Marg


2. Show empathy.

Put yourself in your perceiver's shoes and try to relate by finding common interests, dislikes, and experiences.

One effective but often overlooked method is saying "I'm sorry," Halvorson says. You're not saying this as a way to accept blame but to express your regret that something bad has happened to your perceiver.

Researchers at Harvard Business School and Wharton found that people were far more likely to lend someone their cell phone when he first said, "I'm so sorry about the rain!" Expressing you understand someone's experience and hope the best for them produces tangible increases in trust.

3. Trust people yourself.

People are naturally inclined to pay it forward, Halvorson says, and reciprocity holds true when it comes to trust.

"We are more likely to feel we can trust someone who has trust us first — someone who has been openly cooperative rather than competitive and put others' interest above their own," Halvorson writes.

She suggests trusting someone with personal — but appropriate — details about yourself. "Far from seeing you negatively, the perceiver is likely to feel that this invitation to intimacy indicates that you are on the same team."

4. Demonstrate your strong willpower.




To better convey competence to your colleagues, you either need to quit your bad habits or at the very least keep them to yourself.

5. Don't be cocky.


The dangers of overconfidence include being underprepared, setting unrealistic goals, biting off more than you can chew, and generally making bad choices, Halvorson explains. And all this leads to being the least-popular guy in the office.


6. Use body language to your advantage.




Photo Credit: flickr/poptech


7. Emphasize what you can do, not what you have done.






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How to Build Trust by Being Real

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