Islamic marital practices

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  (Redirected from Islamic marriage)
Jump to: navigation, search
A Sundanese wedding ceremony held inside a mosque in Western Java, Indonesia in 1977.



Choice of Partner[edit]

MYLANCHI- DESIGN (4014771124).jpg

In Islam, polygyny is allowed with certain restrictions; polyandry is not. The Koran directly addresses the matter of polygyny in Chapter 4 Verse 3, "...Marry of the women that you please: two, three, or four. But if you feel that you should not be able to deal justly, then only one or what your right hand possesses.That would be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice."[5] The Prophet accepts the marriage of multiple wives but only if the husbands duties will not falter as a result.[6]


Both male and female homosexuality are forbidden in Islamic law, although only male homosexuality is explicitly condemned in the Quran.[9] In regards to interfaith marriages and partners, the rules for Muslim women are much more restrictive than the rules applied to Muslim men wishing to marry a non-Muslim.[10] The principal schools of Islamic jurisprudence abide to Shari'a regulations that specifically state "a Muslim man may marry a Christian or Jewish woman but no other unbeliever; a Muslim woman may not marry a non-Muslim under any circumstances."[10]





Islamic Dating Practices and Community Programs[edit]

In most Islamic societies and communities it is not a common practice for young people to actively seek a partner for themselves by following modern and western rituals, such as dating. Young Muslim men and women are strongly encouraged to marry as soon as possible, since the family is recognized as the foundation of Islamic society[1] According to traditional Islamic law, women and men are not free to date or intermingle, which results in a more drawn-out and deliberate process.[1] A large majority of Islamic marriages are arranged marriages in which the parents or guardians select appropriate matrimonial mates for their offspring.[1] The amount of choice and acceptance involved in choosing marriage partners often depends on the class and educational status of the family.[1] Some important characteristics in choosing a worthy mate are faith and chastity. These traits are pointed out in Quran Chapter 33 Verse 35 "For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward."[1]‘Forced’ marriages, where consent has not been given by the bride, or is given only under excessive pressure, is considered illegal in the dominating schools of Islamic law. A guardian who is allowed to force the bride into marriage is called wali mujbir.[11]


Muslims in non-Islamic countries like America use Islamic institutions or imams to help them find partners. Islamic institutions like the ISNA (Islamic Society of North America), NOI (Nation of Islam), ICNA (Islamic Circle of North America), and MANA (Muslim Alliance of North America), allow individuals to meet others at annual conventions.[13] The imam is a valued source among these Muslim communities as well. For any individual who values religious piety in a partner and does not have a Muslim social network, the imam is a valuable source of guidance.

The internet also offers new opportunities for Muslim individuals to meet one another. In the past 10 years, Matchmaking sites for Muslims have become an increasingly popular way to meet one’s spouse.[14] The website, one of the first matchmaking sites is very successful. Adeem Younis, the founder of the website, designed it in accordance with Islamic principles. Halal sites like ask questions about individuals’ piety including prayer habits, fasting, and if they have made the hajj pilgrimage.[15] Among Islamic theological figures there is some dispute over the validity of these websites; however, these sites continue to be created and avidly used. According to Younis, “Because ‘dating’ is not allowed in Islam, the Internet is an ideal vehicle for a discreet first step in finding a marriage partner.”[15] Websites such as, The International Muslim Matrimonial site, broaden the depth of choices for individuals looking for a partner. Individual interests like, hobbies, political views, things you are passionate about, activities you participate in, your family values, are all included to make a user profile. In some societies in both the Islamic world and the West, traditional matchmaking practices do not necessarily include this kind of expression of personal characteristics; therefore, these websites expand individuality while maintaining traditional Islamic ideals of matchmaking.[13]

Diversity of Muslim weddings[edit]





Chinese Muslim marriages resemble typical Chinese marriages except traditional Chinese religious rituals are not used.[17]


Main article: Indian wedding

Muslims in India normally follow marriage customs that are similar to those practiced by Muslims of the Middle-East, which are based on Islamic convention.[18] These Islamic traditions were first handed down to medieval Indians by propagators of the Islamic religion that involved sultans and Moghul rulers at the time.[19] The blueprint is the same as the Middle-Eastern Nikah,[18] a pattern seen in marriage ceremonies of Sunnis and Shias.[19] Traditional Muslim Indian wedding celebrations typically last for three days.[18] Prior to the observance of the wedding ceremony proper, two separate pre-wedding rituals, which involve traditional dancing and singing, occurs in two places: at the groom’s house and at the bride’s home.[19]

On the eve of the wedding day, a bridal service known as the Mehndi ritual or henna ceremony is held at the bride’s home. This ritual is sometimes done two days before the actual wedding day. During this bridal preparation ritual, turmeric paste is placed on the bride’s skin for the purpose of improving and brightening her complexion, after which mehndi is applied on the bride’s hands and feet by the mehndiwali, a female relative.[18][19]

The Indian Islamic wedding ceremony is also preceded by a marriage procession known as the groom’s baraat. From this convoy arrives the groom, who will share a sherbet drink with a brother of his bride at the place of the marriage ceremony. This drinking ritual happens as the sisters of the bride engage in tomfooleries and playfully strike guests using flower-filled cudgels.[18]

The wedding ceremony, known as Nikah, is officiated by the Maulvi, a priest also called Qazi.[18][19] Among the important wedding participants are the Walises, or the fathers of both groom and bride.[18] and the bride's legal representative.[19] It is the bride's father who promises his daughter's hand to the groom, a ritual known as the Kanya-dhan.[19] Also in this formal occasion, particularly in conventional Islamic weddings, when men and women typically have separate seating arrangements. Another common practice are wedding sequences that include the reading of Quranic verses, the groom’s proposal and bride’s acceptance parts known as the Ijab-e-Qubul[18] or the ijab and qabul;[19] the decision-making of the bride’s and groom’s families regarding the price of the matrimonial financial endowment known as the Mehar[18] or Mehr (a dower no less than ten dirhams[19]), which will come from the family of bridegroom. Blessings and prayers are then given by older women and other guests to the couple.[18] In return the groom gives salutatory salaam wishes to his blessers, especially to female elders.[19] The bride also usually receives gifts known generally as the burri, which may be in the form of gold jewelries, garments, money, and the like.[19]


After the Nikah, the now married couple joins each other to be seated among gender-segregated attendees.[18] The groom is customarily brought first to the women's area in order for him to be able to present gifts to his wife's sister.[19] Although jointly seated, the bride and the groom can only observe one another via mirrors, and a copy of the Quran is placed in between their assigned seats. With their heads sheltered by a dupatta and while guided by the Maulvi, the couple reads Muslim prayers.[18]

After the wedding ceremony, the bride is brought to the house of her husband, where she is welcomed by her mother-in-law, who holds a copy of the Quran over the her head.[18]

The wedding reception hosted by the groom family is known as the Valimah[18] or the Dawat-e-walima.[19]


  1. Muslim Personal Law Sharia Application Act,1937
  2. The Dissolution Of Muslim Marriages Act, 1939
  3. Muslim Women’s Protection of Rights on Divorce Act,1986



A Malay wedding ceremony in Brunei. In a traditional Malay wedding, the bride and groom will sit together in a traditional wedding lounge known as the pelamin throughout the celebration.

Malay wedding traditions (Malay: Adat Perkahwinan Melayu; Jawi script: عادة ڤركهوينن ملايو), such as those that occur in Brunei, Singapore, Malaysia, and parts of Indonesia and Thailand normally include the betrothal, the determination of the bridal dowry known as the hantaran agreed upon by both the parents’ of the groom and the bride (usually done one year before the solemnization of marriage), delivery of gifts and the dowry (the istiadat hantar belanja), the marriage solemnization (the upacara akad nikah) at the bride’s home or in a mosque, the henna application ritual known as the berinai, the costume changing of the couple known as the tukar pakaian for photography sessions, a Sunday feast-meal for guests, and the bersanding or the sitting-in-state ceremony of the couple at their own home. Prior to being able to meet his bride, sometimes a mak andam, a “beautician”, or any member of the family of the bride will intercept the groom to delay the joining of the would-be spouses; only after the groom was able to pay a satisfactory “entrance fee” could he finally meet his bride. The wedding ceremony proper is usually held on a weekend, and involves exchanging of gifts, Quranic readings and recitation, and displaying of the couple while within a bridal chamber. While seated at their “wedding throne”, the newly-weds are showered with uncooked rice and petals, objects that signify fertility. The guests of the wedding celebration are typically provided by the couple with gifts known as the bunga telur or “flower and egg”. The gifted eggs are traditionally eggs dyed with red coloring and are placed inside cups or other suitable containers bottomed with glutinous rice. These eggs also symbolize fertility, a marital wish hoping that the couple will bear many offspring. However, these traditional gifts are now sometimes replaced by non-traditional chocolates, jellies, or soaps.[20]

The marriage contract that binds the marital union is called the Akad Nikah, a verbal agreement sealed by a financial sum known as the mas kahwin, and witnessed by three persons. Unlike in the past when the father of the bride customarily acts as the officiant for the ceremonial union, current-day Malay weddings are now officiated by the kadhi, a marriage official and Shariat or Syariat Court religious officer.[20]

The Philippines[edit]

Muslim communities in the Philippines include the Tausug tribe, a group of people in Jolo who practice matrimonial activities based on their own ethnic legislation and the laws of Islam. Their customary and legal matrimony is composed of negotiated arranged marriage (pagpangasawa), marriage through the “game of abduction” (pagsaggau), and elopement (pagdakup).[21] Furthermore, although Tausug men may acquire two wives, bigamous or plural marriages are rare.[21]

A Filipino Tausug lady performing the traditional pangalay dance.



“Abduction-game marriages” are characteristically in accord with the grooms’ requests, and are performed either by force or “legal fiction”.[21] This strategy of marrying a woman is actually a “courtship game” that expresses a Tausug man’s masculinity and bravery. Although the woman has the right to refuse marrying her “abductor”, reluctance and refusal does not always endure because the man will resort to seducing the “abductee”. In the case of marriages done through the game of abduction, the bridewealth offered is a gesticulation to appease the woman’s parents.[21]


During the engagement period, the man may render, do nothing services to his bride’s parents in the form of performing household chores.[24] After the period of engagement has lapsed, the marital-union ceremony is observed by feastings, delivery of the whole bridewealth, slaughtering of a carabao or a cow, playing gongs and native xylophones, reciting prayers in the Arabic and Tausug languages, symbolic touching by the groom of his bride’s forehead, and the couple’s emotionless sitting-together ritual. In some instances when a groom is marrying a young bride, the engagement period may last longer until the Tausug lass has reached the right age to marry; or the matrimonial ceremony may proceed – a wedding the Tausug termed as “to marry in a handkerchief” or kawin ha saputangan – because the newly-wed man can live after marriage at the home of his parents-in-law but cannot have marital sex with his wife until she reaches the legal age.[24]

Tausug culture also allows the practice of divorce.[24]


United Arab Emirates[edit]

Main article: Arab wedding
A bride's palm decorated with henna.


In Dubai, one of the seven emirates of the UAE, the traditional Bedouin wedding is a ceremonial that echoes the earliest Arab concept of matrimony, which emphasizes that marital union is not simply a joining together of a man and a woman but the coming together of two families. Traditionally lasting for seven days, Bedouin marriage preparations and celebration starts with the marriage proposal known as the Al Khoutha, a meeting of the groom’s father and bride’s father; the purpose of the groom’s father is to ask the hand of the bride from the bride’s father for marriage; and involves the customary drinking of minty Arab tea. After this, the negotiating families proceed with the Al Akhd, a marriage contract agreement. The bride goes through the ritual of a “bridal shower” known as Laylat Al Henna, the henna tattooing of the bride’s hands and feet, a service signifying attractiveness, fortune, and healthiness. The Al Aadaa follows, a groom-teasing rite done by the friends of the bride wherein they ask compensation after embellishing the bride with henna. The ceremonial also involves a family procession towards the bride’s home, a re-enactment of a war dance known as Al Ardha, and the Zaahbaah or the displaying of the bride’s garments and the gifts she received from her groom’s family. In the earliest versions of Bedouin wedding ceremonies, the groom and the bride goes and stays within a tent made of camel hair, and that the bride is not to be viewed in public during the nuptial proceedings. The wedding concludes with the Tarwaah, when the bride rides a camel towards her new home to live with her husband. After a week, the bride will have a reunion with her own family. Customarily, the groom will not be able to join his bride until the formal wedding procedure ended. The only place where they will finally see each other is at their post-wedding dwelling.[26]

Established Bedouin wedding customs also entail the use of hand-embroidered costumes, the dowry, and the bridewealth. Islamic law dictates that the jewelry received by the bride becomes her personal property.[26][unreliable source?] Bedouin refers to a group of women in Islamic culture who live under a patriarchal and male dominated society. The existence of this group is reflective of the idea that there are still parts of Islamic society that are resistant to social change in the advancement and equality of women.[27]

See also[edit]


  1. ^ a b c d e f Ponzetti (2003). International Encyclopedia of Marriage and Family. 
  2. ^ Assadullah, Mir Mohmmed. Weddings in Islam,
  3. ^ Quran 30: 21
  4. ^ "The Muslim Woman and Her Husban". Retrieved 2014-04-30. 
  5. ^ Koran 4: 3
  7. ^ "WorldFocus=". 
  9. ^ New Dictionary of the History of Ideas, Vol.5, "Sexuality Islamic Views," Horowitz 2005
  12. ^ a b Aziz and Lo. Journal of Religion and Popular Culture=2009. 
  14. ^ a b De Muth. The Middle East=2011. 
  15. ^ Muslim Weddings,
  19. ^ a b Said, Rozita Mohd. The Malay Wedding,
  24. ^ Weddings In The U.A.E.,
  26. ^ Abu-Rabie-Queder, Sarab. "The Activism of Bedouin women: Social and Political Resistance". 

External links[edit]