perpetuating rape myths, one child at the time

doing violence prevention work in middle and high school for over a year now, I have seen many scary, inaccurate stereotypes about sexual violence going around, but never like today I realized to what extent the schools are perpetuating false information about rape as part of the educational curriculum. During a break between two classes today I was looking at one of the Health class book for the 7th grade and stumbled upon the chapter on sexual violence. I took pictures, but I am transcribing it for clarity.









Protecting Yourself from Rape

Rape is any kind of sexual intercourse against a person’s will. Over half of rape victims know their attackers. Whenever a person is forced to have sex, whether with someone he or she knows or with a stranger, a rape has occurred. Rape is always an act of violence, and it is illegal. To protect yourself from rape, you need to recognize and avoid situations that might increase the risk of an attack, here are some suggestions.,


  • if you go out alone with someone, make it clear that you are not interested in any sexual activity.
  • Avoid secluded places
  • Don’t drink alcohol or use other drugs or date people who do.
  • Always carry money so you can call home or tae a cab or bus if you feel unsafe.




People across the nation are making an effort to reduce and prevent violence. here are some of the actions they have taken

  • Holding stop violence rallies
  • Supporting stronger gun laws
  • Installing lighting in parks and playgrounds
  • Breaking up gang control of public parks
  • Starting neighborhood watch programs
  • Supporting teen curfew
  • Teaching non violent resolution
  • Assigning more police to street patrols  










  • Lock doors and windows when you are alone
  • open the door only to people you know well
  • do not give personal information over the telephone or computer
  • never agree to meet alone with a person you met online
  • if someone comes to the door or window and you are frightened, call 911 or the police
  • never shoot firearms or pick them up, even if they are unloaded
  • when you come home, have your key ready before you reach the door. Do not enter if the door is ajar or appears to have been tampered with
  • never tell a stranger that you are home alone. Instead, say that your parents are busy and can’t come to the door or the phone.


  • do not walk alone at night
  • avoid poorly lit streets
  • if you think someone is following you, get into a store or other public place
  • never hitchhike or accept rides from strangers
  • do not look like an easy target. Stand tall and walk with confidence
  •  if someone wants your money or possessions, give them up
  •  if you are attacked, scream and get away any way you can
  •  do not carry a firearm or other weapon.


I underlined some the parts I found most appalling, even though much of the premise of the idea of prevention in the book is at best inaccurate, and at worst just plain fucked up. Prevention is only seen as a potential’s victim responsibility, where each person must recognize and avoid danger. No talk of accountability or responsibility on the perpetrator’s part is even mentioned.


But besides the theoretical framing of the issue, the chapter is just spreading false information. I have worked as a gender violence advocate since 2005, and I have listened to countless stories of sexual violence, besides being a survivor myself. Most people are assaulted by someone they know, not half like the book says, but more like 70% to 80%. Most times it is a date, or an intimate person that you trust, not a stranger in a dark alley.


None of the information provided will be helpful to avoid sexual assault, it will just make the kids (and mostly girls, who feel rape is their problem) scared, and limit their freedom and mobility. How can anyone not look like an easy target? We know that people that are young, or disables, or homeless, are at a higher risk of being assaulted. Are they telling 12 year olds that they should stop looking like themselves? Or that as a disabled person, I should magically rid of my disability?


The whole chapter sets up people to feel guilty and responsible for the assault, because they should have seen it coming, or they should have been able to protect themselves. And then there is a subtle (or maybe not so subtle) racist message in the whole bit about gangs and public parks! What are they even talking about?  Yes, gang rape does happen, but it is a much rarer occurrence than people being pressured into sex by who they are dating, or being assaulted by an acquaintance or even a family member.


There is no prevention, besides the decision taken by someone to not assault, to choose consensual sex, and to strive for healthy relationships. And better street lights or more cops will not cut it.


maya angelou speaks
March 6, 2009, 7:55 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

angeloulast night i had the privilege to see maya angelou speak here in bloomington.

to be honest, i had no expectations for her speech, and it ended up being one of the best i have witnessed. i have been looking for a podcast of it without much luck, but i will post it as soon as i find one. 

i often feel very anxious about the relentlessness of time passing, and try to fill my minutes to escape the sense of smallness that accompanies the experience of being human. there is not much that can distract me from that, or leave me with a true sense of meaning.  Ms. Angelou weaved a careful net of stories about the weight each one of us has, that we are very much unaware of, and unmistakably left me with a mysterious sense of purpose. each of us cannot change the world, or escape death, or be indispensable, but we have no idea how much each action impacts our surroundings, and how far the ramifications of our choices will reach.

she also gracefully defied the apologetical demeanor that often accompanies the elderly in our society, the self-deprecating jokes about slowness, and bodies functioning at a significantly different speed than someone in their twenties. Ms. Angelou exuded an obviously hard won sense of comfort in her own skin, in her surrounding and in her 81 year old body that felt so rare and precious.

she talked about race with ease, without discounting the weight of privilege, and without choosing divisive words, or sentences that would have provoked easy cheers from the crowd. she also spoke of her experience as a survivor of rape , and the lingering sense of self-blame that comes with that experience…which i see as being so true and prevalent.

thanks, Ms. angelou ( and riley for standing in line and getting free tickets)

do you have something to say about gender violence?
November 24, 2008, 1:30 pm
Filed under: gender violence | Tags: , , , ,




Q&A high school

here are some of the high school questions

4. Are there gangs of people that sexual assault?



3. How can a girl rape a boy?



Q&A- middle school


these are from middle school

1. How many rape calls do you get per week?




3. Why do people sexually assault?


4. Do really young children get sexually assaulted?


5. How many people become pregnant because of rape?






Q: How often does rape occur?


Q: Do people rape to get rid of anger?






the links between
November 6, 2008, 2:03 pm
Filed under: gender violence | Tags: , , , , , ,


i stumbled upon an excellent article as i was answering questions for the high school students about the incidence of group rape. it makes a really intelligent, and in my experience at least, sound argument for the similarities between ant-gay harassment, and group rape. it’s a bit long but it might blown your mind!

on scene advocate manual
August 6, 2008, 2:41 pm

i just finished putting together the new on scene advocate manual .



i hope it’s useful. here is the link  OSA MANUAL