How to Actually Define Pain then Conquer It.

What is pain? 


Tears escaped my eyes as I watched my father drive away for a long business trip...

Pain, "A mental or physical suffering or torment," ( 

There are various aspects of pain.

Emotional and physical pain. 


A broken heart or abandonment. 
However, your broken heart, your abandonment is experienced differently.

One may endure more pain than others, maybe because the individual has experienced more pain during their lifetime.

Pain is a cause of an effect.

I believe pain might make people stronger, and every bump in the road might make people tougher.
I describe pain as a multitude of circumstances charging in the body.

Colliding atoms on a hotplate. 
Producing a pain, an atomic bomb...


How to enhance your emotional intelligence. 

Take this moment to get out a pen and paper.

  1. Write what comes to your mind --- jot notes. 

  2. Think about a painful event. 

Physical pain or Emotional pain? 

  • Falling off your bike?
  • Tripping at the park?

--- OR ---

  • First heart-break?
  • Fear of abandonment (etc..)

3. What underlying events caused this pain?

4. Where did this event develop?

Close your eyes.

  1. Imagine the event.
  2. Where is the pain located? In your abdomen, legs, head.
  3. Are you warm or cold?
  4. Is the event black and white? Colorful?
  5. Where are you? (First person or is it similar to a movie)
  6. How can you heal? How did you heal? 

Congratulations you finished your first emotional intelligence exercise with me. 

My Story

Fifteen years ago.
My voice screeched, my heart raced...
My body turning epileptic as tears streamed over my eight-year-old cheeks.
Uncertain of why my father was leaving us.

I did not know why my mother and father were fighting. 
It was the unknown...

Encasing an everlasting black hole deep in my heart. 
Half-filled with guilt.

Overflowing my entire body.

Creating a turbulance of supressed turmoil.

A vector chose me. 
I was the host. 

Its feeding grounds...
Pulling the air from my lungs.
A cancer cultivating the oxygen from each breath.
This depletion of air caused a tinged feeling as my skull pulsated.

Ringing in my ears from the bells living inside my skull. 
Banging on the bones, causing this vibration.  Any shift, any wave of guilt I was tormented.

Trying to over compensate the pressure, I put my hands on my temples and pushed.

Three pains: 

  1. Guilt
  2. Abandonment
  3. Physical fatigue


  • A Gut Wrenching, Full body experience. 

*BOOM*, The outside car doors shut...
The engine turned on...

Tires screeched.

My father drove away. Left our lives.

I believe my mother and I became stronger after that summer morning.

 "pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." (Khalil Gibran)

The lack of understanding, intertwines with my everyday life. 

Phases Of Pain

An Emotional crash.

Which develops into physical aches and pains.
— For days —Weakness in your limbs,  skull aching, veins pulsating, and bruising of your heart.

Physical pain and emotional symphony

One entity.
A synchrony illustrated by an orchestra of events. 

Even though pain is unpleasant.

Many of us have been through pain.
Our misfortunes makes us who we are today. 

The strong women and men.

We have our stories. 

Similar to breaking a bone. 
You never break the same part twice. 

Soon, our bodies will be the cast that shields our pasttime sufferings.

Soon, we will have to be the strong ones for our little ones... 

A different pain...


A Quick Exerpt

COMING SOON. Click here to read more on CBT and examples of emotional intelligence.