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Love & Hugs,

Help to recover or to protect a child from sexual abuse. If you've been molested, learn how to get help and recover. If you're protecting a child, learn the signs of molestation and what to do if you see those signs.

Stop:  If you're here because you've recently been sexually abused , call 1.800.656.HOPE, the number for the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network.  They can help you begin recovery.  If someone is having sex with you, touching you in your private parts, forcing you to touch them, exposing their private parts to you or taking nude pictures of you, report this immediately to an adult you trust.  If no one is doing anything to stop it, report it to the police.  You must do this for your sake and to help the person doing this to you.

Child Sexual Abuse Facts:

There is very little that can happen to a child which is more serious than sexual abuse.  If you're here for help to recover, you know what I'm talking about.  The fact is, very few molestations are done by's usually a trusted adult.  This adds a whole other layer of complication to the injury...betrayal.  Now, who do you trust?  Molestation was so common in my mother's family, she and her sisters thought it was just part of growing up.  Here are some recent popular books on child sexual abuse facts to help you recover.  Many molesters either get the child to enter into a secrecy agreement or threaten to get the child into trouble if they tell.  You can know if you were molested, but if you're trying to find out if your child is being sexually abused, how do you know if they're not talking?  Visit our page, Signs Of Child Molestation for help finding out.  If you're trying to help a molested child recover, you can use the information on these pages to help. 

Right now, I want to dismiss three popular statements being made as if they were fact.  The first involves a belief that child molesters can't be cured.  This is not true!  I get into this one more deeply on our page in the future, but if you have a relative who has molested, don't write them them...but don't abandon them if they're trying to get control.  The second involves a belief that all child molesters were molested as children.  This is not true, either.  There are many things in a molester's past that may contribute to their problem, but also many more people who have had the same past who never sexually abuse anyone.  There is no direct cause!  The last, and most important false "fact" says that the victim's life is ruined...they can never have a happy, normal life.  This is not true!  Especially, if you have been sexually abused in any way, I want you to know, you have as good a chance at a happy, normal life as anyone else.  Your life is far from over.  You have yet to see what wonderful things life has for you.  Don't write yourself off or let anyone else do so.  I'll be writing as if I'm talking to the molestation victim from now on.

Effects of Child Sexual Abuse:

So, now what do you do?  Everything you thought about the World has changed.  Someone you trusted, respected and loved has twisted your love into some ugly game.  Now, how do you know who to trust?  Remembering makes you feel a little sick, powerless and angry.  Then, part of you may not think what they did was that bad, in fact, in some ways you liked the attention, but now, even that makes you feel guilty and ashamed.  After all, you weren't supposed to like it.  How do you make sense of all these conflicting emotions?  I want you to know all these emotions and many more are normal.  You are normal!  You did nothing to cause this.  It isn't your fault.  Your reactions to how you were treated were totally normal.  There are some other reactions to this sexual abuse that may come up at different points in your life.  No one person has all these reactions but I want you to be ready for them so you're better able to deal with them without being frightened.

One reaction some people have to sexual abuse is a fear of normal sexual relations with their spouse.  While this is a normal reaction, you can learn to overcome it as you do any other fear.  See our pages, Overcoming Fear and Phobia and Anxiety Management Help-Natural for how to overcome fears.  Another normal reaction is to crave sexual attention more than normal and at a much earlier age than normal.  You can and must learn to overcome this, as well.  We'll get to the how in the recovery section below.  Another normal reaction is to be tempted to become a child molester.  Yes, some do, but most overcome this temptation as well.  As sad and conflicted as this has made you, I'm sure doing it to someone else is the furthest thing from your mind.  That's good!  Now, you're ready to push it out of your mind if the thought does come.  When you have children of your own, you may distrust your spouse or other relatives around them even though they've done nothing wrong.  It's normal for sexual abuse victims to unconsciously transfer blame in this way even when nothing has happened.  If it hasn't already been done, this is a good opportunity to explain to your loved ones what happened to you and how you are learning to get past the fears of it happening to your child.  Sometimes, molestation victims suffer from clinical depression.  The conflicting feelings push them into a very dark attitude about themselves.  If you find yourself losing interest in friends and activities you used to like, make sure you see a doctor.  No, there's nothing wrong with you.  This is a normal reaction to sexual abuse.  You would suffer the same kinds of things if you broke your leg in an auto accident or witnessed a robbery.  In fact, almost none of us gets to 21 years old without suffering some trauma that leaves us devastated in one way or another.  We all need help to overcome and recover, which brings us to the Child Sexual Abuse Recovery.

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