New study says junk food makes you dumb as well as fat

Lay off the junk
Hot on the heels of the new USDA nutrition guidelines, which basically boil down to "lay off the calories, fatty, and consume a vegetable once in a while," comes a study that gives you more incentive to eat right:

Junk food doesn't just cause you to gain weight; it also makes you a dumbass. A dumbass with a big ass.

For several years, researchers at Bristol University in England followed 14,000 kids born in the early 1990s, controlling such factors as income differences, access to toys and parental education levels. And the results were startling: Nutritional differences in the first three years of life accounted for an IQ gap of as much as five points by the time the kids turned eight.

The scientists grouped their subjects by three diet types: one that was high in fat, sugar and processed foods; one that consisted mostly of meat and potatoes; and one that was purposefully health-conscious and full of fruits and veggies. And they found that improvements in diet directly correlated with improvements in IQ.

What's more, diet changes after age three didn't really help (kids who ate junk between ages four and seven didn't necessarily deviate from the norm) -- and the effects, claim the researchers, last a lifetime.

So watch it, parents, when you load your kids up with chips and soda. Because if this study is right, you're not just making your kids fat, you're also making them stoopid.

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Isn't Lori Midson getting pretty hefty?


Next heading: "Believing that junk food makes you dumb also makes you dumb". Researchers performed surveys among blog writers asking them whether they believe this statement after reading the original research paper. They noticed a very small decrease in IQ in those that did. Researchers believe the decrease in IQ is caused by Quantum Mechanics, possibly by Schrodinger's cat.

Education experts are currently implementing reforms to ensure students don't believe this statement to ensure they have the greatest chances of achieving their full potential. After all, some of them could very well be the blog authors of tomorrow.


Correlation does not equal causation. Parents smart enough to feed their kids a healthy diet probably have passed along the genetic IQ inheritance directly to their kids. Was parents' IQ controlled for in the study? If parental intelligence (as opposed to education level, there are plenty of smart folks without graduate degrees) was measured, this might be worth taking more seriously.


Let's see.Beer is made from vegetables.Chocolate is made from a fruit.Sugar is made from a vegetable.French fries are made from vegetables.Hamburgers are made from cows and cows are herbivores.That about covers it.

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