Does Legalized Marijuana Mean the Zombification of America?

Marijuana is illegal across much of America. Even medicinal use is extremely limited to very small amounts.  Possession of the drug, even in small amounts, can lead to at least six months of jail time and fines of at least several hundred, if not thousands of dollars.

*Important note/disclaimer: This post is not to condone the use of marijuana or any other illegal drug.  The writer of this post is not for nor against it, and this article is meant not to take sides on the debate, but rather start a discussion of the possibility of the effects of its legalization.*

Why is the drug illegal?  Many supporters of the legalization of marijuana state that smoking it is less harmful than smoking cigarettes due in large part to the many toxins contained in cigarettes that are not found in marijuana.

Facts also support that marijuana is less addictive and dangerous than alcohol.

Obviously, both cigarettes and alcohol are legal in all fifty states, despite their side effects.

The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) reports that the drug may have long term effects on not only the brain but may lead to addiction. Many users of the drug disagree.

We at ZZN are always looking deeper, for the truth behind the laws and would like to pose the following question for your consideration:

Is it possible that the reason the government will not allow the legalization of marijuana be because if it kills brain cells, eventually it can lead to a constant high- not unlike Zombification- until all braincells are completely dead causing the user to be in a constant high-zombiesque state?

Now, before you roll your eyes, hear us out and look at the evidence:

To determine if this is a realistic possibility, let us compare the effects of marijuana to the traits of the Zombie:

  • Marijuana causes forgetfulness – Zombies show no ability to remember anything.
  • A side effect of Marijuana use is having the “munchies” – Zombies are often referred to as “Brain Munchers”.
  • When extremely high, users of Marijuana sometimes respond to conversation with grunts and random laughter – Zombies only grunt and make indecipherable noises and sounds.
  • A symptom of marijuana use includes glazed or glossy eyes – Same goes for the Undead.
  • Some marijuana users do not realize they are being spoken to – Zombies often do not respond to anything other than a desire to feed their “munchies” cravings.
  • Marijuana users often smell strange after using the drug – Zombies smell rancid at all times.
  • When very high, Marijuana users often stumble and have extremely slow reaction times – Zombies always stumble, and try playing Frisbee with a Zombie. (By the way, if you do try this, we recommend using a buzz saw blade as your toy-of-choice.)

Obviously, the evidence is clear- prolonged and over use of marijuana can and will cause Zombification. This is the primary if not only reason that the American government will never allow it to be legalized.

What do you think? Could smoking too much Marijuana  Zombify you? Feel free to post your opinions below!

*Zombie Pic by Jess D’Arbonne*

About Steve The Zombie

Steve The Zombie has an interesting claim to undead fame- His cousin had such an impact on the Zombie community that XBOX made a game about him- A little game called "Stubbs the Zombie". Like Stubbs, in life Steve was a Salesman with excellent communication skills. In fact, his alter ego Steve Adelmund has published several Zombie News articles, a fictional Zombie book, founded and organizes an annual Zombie Walk for charity, and is an avid Zombologist dedicated to the advancement of understanding Zombies and knowing all things Zombie Survival. His perspective is unique, and the knowledge he shares may save your life.

When asked "You don't really believe in Zombies do you?", his typical answer is "Wait, you REALLY DON'T believe in Zombies?"

Contact Steve
Check him out on Twitter @SteveDaZombie

Frightful Discussion

  1. Aside from the fact that there is little to no correlation between legality and incidence of use, I would argue that methamphetamine addicts more closely resemble zombies. Think about it; emaciated, open sores, severely impaired cognitive abilities, uncontrollable twitches, etc.

  2. Gasp! Colorado knows not the danger it has unleashed upon the world!
    Hehee! Great article. Made me smile.

  3. Hello.
    That is me as a zombie. I was not asked permission to use that image. Was the photographer (a friend of mine) contacted for permission?
    Ask me, I’ll probably grant it, but that is just bad writing etiquette.

  4. Ha! If the government could turn us all into zombies that did nothing but pay taxes and fight in wars–I bet a lot of politicians would be just fine with that. I sometimes think Americans would tolerate a lot less crap from their government if they didn’t have cable tv, video games, and pot (rumor has it, it’s easy to get despite being illegal).

    Return of the Living Dead does, of course, suggest a rather different connection between marijuana and zombies…

  5. I say legalize it. The dazed drug-os will make for good bait during the zombie apocalypse. They will be our first line of defense by slowing down the undead hordes as those of us who are prepared bunker down, lock, and load. And as an added bonus, it will rid America of the damn dirty doobie smoking hippie scourge forever.

    Also, has anyone done any studies on the effect of eating a pot-head’s brain on zombies? Something to look into.

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