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The Case for Lying to Yourself


Lying to yourself—or self-deception, as psychologists call it—can actually have benefits. And nearly everybody does it, based on a growing body of research using new experimental techniques.

Lying to yourself -- or self-deception, as psychologists call it -- actually has benefits sometimes. Based on a growing body of research using new experimental techniques to induce and analyze self-deception, researchers are finding that most people lie to themselves at least some of the time. Sue Shellenbarger explains on Lunch Break.

Self-deception isn't just lying or faking, but is deeper and more complicated, says Del Paulhus, psychology professor at University of British Columbia and author of a widely used scale to measure self-deceptive tendencies. It involves strong psychological forces that keep us from acknowledging a threatening truth about ourselves, he says.

Believing we are more talented or intelligent than we really are can help us influence and win over others, says Robert Trivers, an anthropology professor at Rutgers University and author of "The Folly of Fools," a 2011 book on the subject. An executive who talks himself into believing he is a great public speaker may not only feel better as he performs, but increase "how much he fools people, by having a confident style that persuades them that he's good," he says.

Researchers haven't studied large population samples to compare rates of self-deception or compared men and women, but they know based on smaller studies that it is very common. And scientists in many different disciplines are drawn to studying it, says Michael I. Norton, an associate professor at Harvard Business School. "It's also one of the most puzzling things that humans do."

Researchers disagree over what exactly happens in the brain during self-deception. Social psychologists say people deceive themselves in an unconscious effort to boost self-esteem or feel better. Evolutionary psychologists, who say different parts of the brain can harbor conflicting beliefs at the same time, say self-deception is a way of fooling others to our own advantage.


Behavioral scientists in recent years have begun using new techniques in the laboratory to predict when and why people are likely to deceive themselves. For example, they may give subjects opportunities to inflate their own attractiveness, skill or intelligence. Then, they manipulate such variables as subjects' mood, promises of rewards or opportunities to cheat. They measure how the prevalence of self-deception changes.



As early as age 3, children have what researchers call a "positivity bias"—a tendency to see themselves as smart regardless of their abilities, and to exaggerate positive traits in others, says a 2010 study in the journal Child Development Perspectives. By adolescence, one-fourth of college-bound students rate themselves in the top 1% in their ability to get along with others, research shows.

In a separate study, female students who take leadership positions on campus score higher on measures of self-deception, based on recent research by Dr. Keating. Women who aspire to leadership may have to "conveniently forget about some negatives," such as the fact that "women who behave in a dominant fashion may be perceived as more masculine," Dr. Keating says.

Many people have a way of "fooling their inner eye" to believe they are more successful or attractive than they really are, Dr. Trivers says. When people are asked to choose the most accurate photo of themselves from an array of images that are either accurate, or altered to make them look up to 50% more or less attractive, most choose the photo that looks 20% better than reality, research shows.

Many people deceive themselves to avoid making difficult changes. For years, Greg Duval piled on pounds while telling himself "I just needed to go for a run" to take off extra weight, he says. A former high-school quarterback, "I had that 'man up' mentality: 'Guys don't need personal trainers,'" says Mr. Duval, a Dallas sales executive. The rationale helped him feel as if he was in control, but gave him an excuse to put off exercise. Recently, as he approached age 50, he decided, "No more playing games with myself," he says. Working with a trainer, Mallory Mansour Dubuclet, he has taken off 53 pounds since last winter. In the realm of health and fitness, Ms. Dubuclet says, "many people kid themselves about how much they can eat, or how much exercise they are doing."



For some people, self-deception becomes a habit, spinning out of control and providing a basis for more lies. In research co-written by Dr. Norton and published last year in Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, college students who were given an answer key to an intelligence test, allowing them to cheat, scored higher than a control group. They later predicted, however, that they also would score higher on a second test without being allowed to cheat. They were "deceiving themselves into believing their strong performance was a reflection of their ability," the study says.

Giving them praise, a certificate of recognition, made the self-deception even worse: The students inflated their predicted future scores even more.

Just as phony war heroes come to believe they actually won medals for valor, cheaters come to believe their own lies, Dr. Norton says. "They forget very quickly," he says, "that there were situational factors that propelled them forward."

How Honest Are You With Yourself?

Answer on a seven-point scale, with 1 being 'not true,' 4 being 'somewhat true,' and 7 being 'very true.'

1. My first impressions are always right.



4. I am fully in control of my own fate.

5. I never regret my decisions.

6. I am a completely rational person.

7. I am very confident of my judgments.

Write to Sue Shellenbarger at

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