Humorous Grammar

I found this list at creativeteachingsite.com and I wanted to share it.  I tee-hee'd my pants a little.

  1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
  3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
  4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
  7. Be more or less specific.
  10. No sentence fragments.
  11. Contractions aren't always necessary and shouldn't be used to excess so don't.
  12. Foreign words and phrases are not always apropos.
  14. All generalizations are bad.
  15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
  16. Don't use no double negatives.
  18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
  23. Don't overuse exclamation points!!!
  26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed and use it correctly with words' that show possession.
  27. Don't use too many quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.. Tell me what you know."
  29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
  33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  34. Avoid "buzz-words"; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters.
  35. People don't spell "a lot" correctly alot of the time.
  36. Each person should use their possessive pronouns correctly.
  37. All grammar and spelling rules have exceptions (with a few exceptions)....Morgan's Law.
  38. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  39. The dash - a sometimes useful punctuation mark - can often be overused - even though it's a helpful tool some of the time.
  40. Proofread carefully to make sure you don't repeat repeat any words.
  41. In writing, it's important to remember that dangling sentences.
If you liked this list, you can find more at  http://www.creativeteachingsite.com/humorgrammar2.htm.

1 comment:

Kaleena said...

Love... and will steal! Thanks!!!