Talk About Being Gay Is Step Toward Acceptance



Dear Abby: I was lunching with five or six co-workers the other day and the topic turned to gay rights. During the conversation, one of them said, "I don't know why they have to talk about it." I was shocked and speechless because everyone at the table knew I am gay.

Later, I compiled a list of reasons we talk about it. If you think it's worthwhile, please print it on Oct. 11, National Coming Out Day. -- Ed in Long Island, N.Y.

Dear Ed: Whether to come out or not is a personal decision, and one that should not be taken lightly. However, your reasons present a strong argument in favor of doing so and I'm pleased to print them on National Coming Out Day to encourage those who might be hesitant. It's OK to be gay, and it's OK to be yourself.

Reasons we talk about gay rights:

Until we started talking about it, laws were enacted by straight people telling gay people what they were and were not allowed to do.

Forty-five years ago, nothing could be sent through the U.S. mail about love or intimacy between gay people. Thirty years ago, openly gay people could be fired from government jobs. Twenty-five years ago, we could be jailed or institutionalized for being gay.

Laws still exist that prevent gay people from adopting, that take our children from us, that allow us to be jailed for making love to our partners, that permit straight people to refuse to rent to us, or refuse to serve us in restaurants for no other reason than that we are gay. It was talking about it that led to the repeal of hundreds of those laws.

If we didn't talk about it, enlightened people wouldn't be teaching their children that it's wrong to treat gay people differently from straight people.

We talk about it because many of us grew up thinking we were alone because nobody talked about it.

I talk about it because so many other people cannot. In the U.S. military, men and women may lose their jobs for saying, "I am gay."

I talk about it because I want folks to see that most gay people are average people, not the monsters that straight people are taught that we are.

I talk about it because I want the children to know that you can be gay and a good person.


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