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Why is marital infidelity so destructive?


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marital infidelity
Question: "Why is marital infidelity so destructive?"

Marital infidelity, or unfaithfulness, occurs when a partner in a marriage goes outside the marriage to engage in a sexual relationship with someone else. Many surveys reveal that close to 90 percent of Americans, Christian or not, believe marital infidelity to be wrong. However, statistically speaking, between 30 and 50 percent of Americans will cheat on their spouses. There are a number of reasons for adultery, but the majority of cases occur because of a need to be emotionally connected. Human beings have a deep need to be wanted, needed, and understood. Ideally, this need is met in a marital relationship. However, if it is not, a spouse may look to connect emotionally (and physically) elsewhere, which results in marital infidelity.


Two people becoming “one flesh” involves more than just physical intimacy. During sex, there is a sharing of emotions as well as bodies. The Old Testament euphemism for sexual intercourse had to do with “knowing” one another—a significant word. During sex, the most intimate of human encounters, a person can be said to truly “know” someone else. The level of trust required for this makes one extremely vulnerable, and this is one reason why sex should be limited to the marital relationship. Marriage allows for vulnerability without fear; each spouse is protected by the other’s commitment and the stability inherent in a covenantal relationship. To violate that trust is devastating to the individual and to the marriage. It is the betrayal of a confidence, the breaking of a vow, the shattering of security, and the severing of a union.

Reports say that 60-75 percent of couples who have experienced a betrayal stay together. However, this does not mean that these relationships are healed or that the trust and commitment have been regained. In many cases, a couple stays together after marital infidelity not because they're happy together but because they're afraid of the alternative. However, there are other couples who commit to the hard work of dealing with the problem, identifying weaknesses, and correcting mistakes. Such couples have an excellent chance not only of staying together but of coming through the process with a strong, happy, fulfilling marriage.


Recommended Resource: Surviving an Affair by Willard Harley

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Is remarriage after divorce always adultery?

What does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage?


Do I have to confess my adultery to my spouse?

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Why is marital infidelity so destructive?

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