As Jason Bittel explains in somewhat distressing detail over at Slate, the truth about hamsters and burritos is that hamsters, contrary to what viral videos would have you believe, do not eat little burritos, tiny cakes, or mini pizzas. They eat each other.

Here's the video in question, on the off chance you've been avoiding the Internet since late April:


Sez Bittel:

In the case of this video, we're looking at the species Mesocricetus auratus, more commonly called a golden hamster or a Syrian hamster. Walk into any pet shop in America and you'll find these fluffy little rodents. This is more than a little ironic sincethe International Union for Conservation of Nature lists them as "vulnerable" in their native habitat along the Turkey-Syria border. That's one step above "endangered," FYI.

It's also strange that Syrian hamsters should be popular, considering they're ferociously territorial. If you're going to keep two or more adults in the same tank, they require lots of personal space. The animals have scent glands on their flanks, which they use to mark territory, so it's also recommended that you provide separate food, water, and bedding sources. Fail to give them enough space or resources, and they'll eat each other for fun.

I've seen it.

So basically, the only way the video up top would be even a little bit accurate would be if those burritos were stuffed with little strips of hamster meat. What a nice thought. What's in the burrito, little hamster? WHAT'S IN THE BURRITO?


Bittel gets into more harrowing specifics over at Slate.