Early readers may not always comprehend the material

Q. My son is reading, but not understanding what he reads. He could read early, in kindergarten, and was fluent to an advanced level. His teacher was impressed and he could pick up nearly any book, even chapter books, and read really well very quickly. He resisted most art and had terrible motor skills, but we worked on that with him. He is now in third grade and starting to get Cs and even worse at times and his teacher tells me he is not understanding what he reads. How can this happen? What should I do?

A. This is not an uncommon problem, so try not to be too alarmed. Your son has a unique approach to learning, and being the same as everyone else can be boring. Yet, learning in a different way often scares parents. If your son caught on to reading very early, he was seeing the words and reading as a puzzle that he was able to solve. The act of decoding and reading often will not happen unless the parents are reading to a child or putting him in a school with a lot of early reading going on, so it is likely that you did one of these things.

Now, children that learn to read or decode the words are not always reading for meaning. In fact, early on, if your child is reading at a highly advanced level, you have to intervene to make sure the child is connecting meaning to the words and able to stay engaged in a story. That step can be missed when teachers or parents start pushing early readers too hard.

All of those early developmental milestones and skills need to develop on time for kids as they grow. You mentioned motor skills and a change in performance pretty early now that he is in third grade. I would say it might be time to ask the school to evaluate your son and test him for his grade level and skills. Schools often do not want anyone to tell parents to ask for these evaluations, and here I am writing about it in the paper, but there are times when parents should ask.

If you think this particular teacher does not know how to reach your son, and that your son does know and understand what he is reading, you can wait until next year. But, if you find that your child really is not understanding what he reads even if he can read the words, I would ask the school to step in to help you gain a better picture of how he is performing and learning at his age and grade level.

Q. There is a family in my son’s school that is going around telling stories about how my son is a terrible, mean bully. Luckily, most moms don’t like the mom who is doing it. She thinks her daughter is so superior to everyone and the mom is a real piece of work. I know this is true, but it is really bothering me that she is saying things that are not true about my son all over town. Would a teacher be open to shutting this down for me? How would you feel as the mom? I am looking for advice on whether I should go to the teacher or just handle this on my own.

A. It is really hard to say whether or not the teacher would be able to help quiet a parent like this, but it is something you should talk about with the teacher anyway. Most likely, the teacher already knows this parent is a piece of work, as you put it. We get to know those parents pretty quickly.

It will make you feel better to talk to the teacher and make sure what you are hearing about your son is not true or not something for you to work on with him. If there are no concerns from the teacher, you can rest assured that this other parent is just looking to drum up a little drama. You asked how I would feel as the mom, and I would be upset too if there were someone telling stories about my child.

It is uncomfortable and strange, but you will never be able to control another person. I would stay clear of this woman and tell your child to steer clear of her child as well. Unfortunately, this happens, but most often the school community forms over time and if you hang in there, she will either stop telling stories or other families will simply stop listening to her.

Contact the writer at goasktheteacher@yahoo.com.

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