Wednesday, July 8, 2009


I am obsessed with origins. I didn't think so before, and it wasn't until I read my friend Betsy's blogpost on the subject that my own fascination with the subject became apparent.

I'm not particularly concerned with my origins -- at least not my familial origins -- but with general ideas of personality- or interest-origins. Maybe something along the lines of what Twyla Tharp calls "creative DNA."

After reading Betsy's post, I realized how nutty I am about origins and witnessing them. It explains my weird, mostly culinary desire to make everything from scratch -- from bread, pasta, and rose water (and secondary or tertiary products thereof) to researching how to card and spin yarn from dog hair [this, thankfully, might stay in the theoretical realm]. I used to think that I was interested in the elaborateness of it all; that I was attracted to their long processes because I am famously (or infamously, in my family) impatient.

I think now that it's because of a deep interest in the elementality of raw materials and witnessing their transformation and transmutations into more recognized objects. There's something about the arcane here and also something of the earth. It also manifests in my research interests too: writing about Elgar's Dream of Gerontius, I was interested in how it emerged and departed from oratorio norm; it explains why I am drawn to early music. There's also an element of contrast here, too -- as I'm interested in Berg more than Schoenberg, in non-Western music/art traditions as they influence, borrow, and interact with the Western tradition.

It also explains, in part, why I hunt down singer biographies and focus intently on passages detailing their training and "creative DNA." To be sure, part of it is/was hunting for assurances that I'm not completely out of my mind for starting studying singing the way I have, but it really can't explain all of it.

Origins are interesting. I'm almost beginning to think that it's an instinctual human interest, though the actual patterns or forms it takes differ. I mean, it can't be a mistake that [in the words of a film critic, paraphrased] "stories of becoming are much more interesting than stories of being."

But hey, speaking of origins, I stumbled across this fun interview with Magdalena Kozena. Her bit on not thinking about technique but instead focusing on expression and giving echoes Lorraine Hunt Lieberson's remarks on how her psychological state almost *is* her technique. AND it's basically what new voice teacher's position seems to be. Huh.

MK Interview 1 2
especially cool is the paragraph in the second in which she talks about singing songs written for men. !! I secretly have this dream of whipping out "nacqui all'affanno...non piu mesta" as some sort of cracked out party piece/encore someday.

LHL Interview -- F! I can't find it. Will update.

Found it! OperaNews interview "Wild at Heart" (Nov96, Vol. 61 Issue 5, p12-17)

Relevant section:
LORRAINE: "There are some singers who just have this wide-open, free voice, technically, from the start. But for me that freedom has come gradually, and it's connected to my, well, inner voice. As I become more free, and shed those layers, those skins I don't need, and let go of my past, my voice sort of follows me. I remember doing Donna Elvira, Ms. Torment, at a time when I was really struggling with everything. There were so many obstacles -- high notes, or getting through the aria, whatever -- and I don't think I could even tell whether the struggle was body first or psyche first. I can do more of what I want now, without fear, musically, technically, and it's a huge sigh of relief in my life." (emphasis added)

Instead, here are memorial pieces: OpenSource (audio) SpiderMonkey's Blog

Also, Bach (hello 90s!)


Betsy said...

I feel bombarded with "origins" thought today. I read your post, then listened to two episode of This American Life. The first was called "Go Ask Your Father," and the second was "Origin Story." Is the universe trying to tell me I can't escape who I am and where I come from?

alex said...

I honestly think we're all bombarded by origins because it's such a profoundly fundamental interest.

Religion, biographies, confessions, statements, justice all incorporate elements of explanation, origin. I think the fascination is tied up in and reinforced by a lot of people's search for 'authenticity' as well, which drives a lot of people to seek the original, the raw, the birth.

Have you tried digging for tubers in a patch of dirt to get back to something primal? :D

Betsy said...

My origin quest doesn't (yet!) involve tubers, but I'll grant you that it's a fundamental interest.

The idea of "authenticity" is a peculiar one. Genetically, we are practically identical to one another. We mimic and mirror one another in order to socialize. So what does "authentic" mean? Psychopaths can appear authentic because they model "normal" behavior so well. We are constantly changing, depending on who we are talking to, where we are, and what we're doing. I struggle daily with how to be all the different people I am. Can you still be authentic if you are suppressing a part of yourself? Hiding your faults? Is it more authentic to reveal your idiosyncrasies?

alex said...

Aha! so for you, the discussion revolves around behavior and the various roles you see yourself filling, which I find interesting, since I think that's opposite-companion to the sorts of origins that I rack my brains over.

Authentic usually comes up for me (and the people I've had extremely geeky discussions with) over things like authentic performance practice (wtf is that?) and whether or not L'incoronazione di Poppea was actually 'authentic' Monteverdi (unless you find an 'authentic' psychic medium, you're SOL on that one). It used to be a big deal to me (oh the sense of utter loss when I discovered that "pur ti miro" might not have been penned by Monteverdi!) but somewhere along the way, the anxiety went away. I'm not entirely sure where or when. Maybe when I decided to streak across campus after my first semester finals, I don't know (btw, cold flagstones are COLD).

We should talk about your authentic/performative self, preferably over a quantity of alcohol :)

Betsy said...

Maybe I got off-topic with the identity talk, which is different but intricately linked to origin talk. And perhaps I wrestle with roles (as opposed to your focus on elements and beginnings and transformations) because my biological origins are such a complete question mark.

alex said...

I don't think it's off-topic. It certainly spring-boarded from 'authentic' and how that's divided up for you.

And I'd love to talk to you in person about this stuff, since this is not something that I'd be able to understand by undergoing the same experience or have any way to tap into an empathetic place.