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Coping with a child with ADHD can be an incredibly frustrating situation.



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    When you find a medication that works, make sure your child is covered all day, every day. Kids do not need to take breaks from medication and can safely take it daily. Some parents only give the medication for school and not for evenings, weekends and holidays. This does a great disservice to your child who needs the medication at these times to cope with homework, study, extra curricular activities, chores, socializing with siblings and peers and even to enjoy relaxation time.
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    Set up very firm and clear routines in your home. Have daily routines and weekly routines and put them up on the wall. Everything should be structured from the time they get up to the time they go to bed. ADHD kids function much better when the schedule is totally predictable.
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    Set up a good rewards system for good behavior. For ADHD kids, good behavior is a lot of hard work. Some people believe you should not reward good behavior and it should be expected but for ADHD kids its one of the hardest things to do. If there are no rewards, its generally not worth it to them. Remember that your ADHD child doesn't want, but needs, attention. It's usually very easy and quick to get bad attention but good attention is harder to earn and far less guaranteed. You need to make rewards for good behavior much easier to earn than punishment for bad behavior is.
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    Make sure your rewards system suits the ADHD child. They can't behave for a whole week in the hope of a reward on Friday; they need immediate and frequent rewards. Set up a points chart and award points on a regular basis (a lot throughout every day) for good behavior like getting started on homework or chores, staying on task, completing tasks, playing well with siblings, getting ready for bed without a fuss and basically any behavior you want to target and improve.
    • As well as your points chart have a second chart of rewards they can exchange for their points. Small rewards they can exchange for small amounts of points like a special play time with dad, and extra 10 minutes of TV, a special treat after dinner. Or they can save up their points for bigger rewards like a friend over for a sleepover and day out etc. have lots of rewards because the novelty will keep them interested. As the kids grow and change so must the rewards.
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    Know what to do if it doesn't work. If the reward system doesn't work, it is usually because the child has too many privileges already so it's not worth anything to them. Make sure your child has all their rights like food and clothes and so on but don't just give privileges without them being earned. Like TV time.
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    Once your child has earned points or rewards, never take them away for bad behavior. You need to keep your rewards and discipline systems totally separate. If an ADHD child works hard to earn points and then loses them, they tend to give up on the system entirely and feel worthless.
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    When you need to talk to your child, make sure you have his/her attention first. Say their name and wait for them to respond of look at you. Avoid giving instructions while they are doing something like watching TV, wait till its done or turn it off for a second if you have something to say. Make sure you say what you need to say while in a close vicinity to the child, yelling an instruction over to your child while they are playing in the pool won't work. Remove them to the side first, then talk.
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    When speaking to your child, use as few words as possible, ADHD kids have short attention spans and struggle to pay attention. The less you say, the more they hear. Keep instructions to one sentence maximum.
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    If your child is misbehaving, use the three step procedure. It's important use use the same system, every time. If you do something different every time they will constantly test you to see what you will do next. Always use the exact same consequences so they become predictable and boring and the child knows immediately exactly what will happen when they misbehave and won't have to constantly test you.
    • Step one - awareness - when you child first starts to misbehave use step one. In this step you simply correct your child's behavior. Usually an ADHD child either doesn't realize what they are doing, or doesn't think anyone minds or anyone has noticed. If you see something you don't like let them know. Get their attention first and phrase it as something to do not something to stop. Example "Johnny, keep your hands to yourself". Don't threaten punishment at this point, just state the behavior you want to see and expect to see it.
    • Step two - the warning - if the bad behavior does not cease immediately then proceed to step two and give a warning of what will happen if they continue to misbehave. Only ever give one warning.
    • Step three - consequences. Time out is the absolute best consequence for ADHD as it can happen immediately and is over quickly as this is what the ADHD child needs. They get bored quickly and hate to be still so it is a far worse punishment for them than for a normal child. It can be used again and again if necessary and is portable and can be taken everywhere.
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    Decide a firm boundary for time out. Choose a time out spot in your home and decide on a name for it. make sure it is a boring spot where they can't lash out and play with anything or continue to get attention. Be very specific when you tell them to go to time out. If an ADHD child doesn't understand exactly what they are supposed to do they will usually become very defiant.
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    Don't expect it to work at once. It must be done over and over again until they get the picture. Imagine a child in a paddock, a normal child will look around and rattle the gate and realize they can't get out and will be content. An ADHD child will rattle the gate, try to climb over the fence, try to dig under the fence, hunt for away around it, and try to jump over it and then do it all again before they are satisfied the boundaries are there. They will test your discipline and you must keep it firm.
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    Learn how to speak to them. ADHD kids have no brakes. if you want them to change a behavior phrase it as something they should do and not something to stop. Example instead of saying "stop running", say "walk". They find it very hard to stop a behavior and find a behavior to replace it with, instead give them something to focus on doing.
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    Never, ever ignore bad behavior. They don't just give up if it's ignored. They will get worse and worse until the situation is totally out of control. Nip it in the bud.
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    Avoid all junk food, if your ADHD child is eating junk then most behavior intervention will be pointless. Many of these foods contain chemicals which further destroy the activity in the part of the brain that ADHD kids are already lacking. That's why junk food can make a normal kid appear to have ADHD and it can make an ADHD kid much worse. Avoid all flavors, colors, preservatives, additives, flavor enhancers and junk. Often the reactions from this type of food lasts for up to three days and kids today eat so much of it that many are constantly affected.
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    Make sure you ADHD child gets 30 minutes of high level exercise every day. Such as bike riding, dancing, swimming etc. Exercise helps the brain produce the chemicals that it is lacking and helps keep the ADHD under control.
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    Enroll your child in organized sports at least 3 times per week. Best sports are ones that use a variety of different body actions like gymnastics, martial arts, dancing and ice skating. You will be amazed at the difference this makes to your child's behavior.
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    Put firm limits on the amount of screen time an ADHD child has, including TV, video games and computers. The more time they are in front of the screen the less time the body is doing what it needs to produce the right brain chemicals. Limit to 30 minutes a day on weekdays and perhaps longer on weekends to watch a movie or something.
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    Color code all their school books. Choose a color for each subject and cover all books and materials needed for this subject in that color. For middle and high school students do their timetable up in these colors and have a timetable for home and for their lockers. This makes it easier for them to get the right books home and the right books to class. Other wise you may find you ADHD child's English book also has math, science, social studies and health in it because they always have wrong books and homework can't be completed.
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Categories: Social Interactions for Youth

Recent edits by: Maluniu, Zach, Samantha

In other languages:

Español: Cómo lidiar con niños que padecen de trastorno por déficit de atención con hiperactividad, Italiano: Come Comportarsi con i Bambini che Soffrono di ADHD, Português: Como Lidar com uma Criança com TDAH, Русский: обращаться с детьми, страдающими СДВГ


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