Top Definition
Named after the infamous Prussian, the Bismarck is a sexual act where the man, after ejaculation in his partner's mouth, pulls out and proceeds to slap his partner's face with his wet and sticky penis. Bonus points are awarded on the loudness of the smack.
After that bitch gave me head, I totally gave her the Bismarck.
by Jack Nabio April 05, 2006
Otto Eduard Leopold Fürst von Bismarck

aka the Iron Chancellor.

Prussian prime minister who managed to join with Germany and appoint himself Chancellor. Strongly conservative, aristorcratic leader who , while supressing democratic groups, created old age pensions and accident health-care insurance, the first to take such steps to the extent he did.

Through wars and propaganda, Bismarck managed to unite with Germany creating a very powerful nation that defeated France. Kaiser Willhelm II ascended the throne in 1890, and Bismarck's political enemies were gaining ground on him. He resigned and died in 1898, not long enough to see Kaiser Willhelm undo his work with world war I.

Both Bismarck, North Dakota and the infamous battleship were named in his honour.

In preparation for World War II, a 42,600 ton displacement battleship Called Bismarck was created.

Bismarck was a fearsome vessel that faced the British navy's Hood and Prince of Wales, sinking the Hood.

Enraged at the sinking of this major battleship, the British Navy sent a large number of battleships after the Bismarck, and when aircraft carrier victorious got within range, it launched its attack with a torpedo plane. The Bismarck survived.

When aircraft carrier Ark Royal caught up with the Bismarck, she torpedo'd the rudder, turning the feared battleship into a sitting target, which was bombarded by a number of ships until it was inevitable she would lose. Over 300 shells and 6 torpedos had hit the Bismarck, before the crew sunk it themselves to avoid the British gaining control. Only a fraction of the crew surivived.

The wreckage was dicovered and examined in the 1980's.
Today, a bismarck can refer to something which will fare very poorly, ie to sink.

That race car is a bismarck.

That horse is a bismarck, bet on another.

That band will bismarck.
by Gumba Gumba April 14, 2004
1. A large impressive penis always ready for action.

2. A massive German battleship in World War II.
1. "His dick is a fucking Bismarck."
by Knyte Writer February 14, 2007
Slapping someone across the face with your semi flaccid penis. In order to leave a dick shaped bruise on the face.
I bismarcked Jane while she was asleep.
by Akwon June 26, 2006
Pay no mind all of the other definitions here involving penile slapping or other perverted juvenile hoohah, Bismarck is a town in south central North Dakota (and named after Otto Von Bismarck) that is also the state capital, but this is really all it has going for it. It's the 2nd largest city in ND, (with Fargo being #1), but it has the provincial mindset of a town a tenth of its size.

Bismarck (also known either as the "Bizzo", "Bis-bang" or "Bisquick") is a quite boring, convervative-minded, extremely philistine, & white-bread town where people aged 18-35 are conspicuously absent, mainly because they have all moved away to other more intellectually & culturally superior cities (mainly to go to school there), namely Fargo, Minneapolis, Seattle, Chicago, etc. The majority of the population that live in Bismarck are all either soccer-mom-type families and the middle-aged to elderly, making for less than a "hip" city (for want of a better term).

Bismarck is a depressing, bland shithole, however, it is quite a clean, quiet, and near crime-free city, but that's it. There are no clubs or decent music venues, no decent art museums, no Thai restaurants, no bohemian/intellectual aspects at all, just the same old tired soccer-mom & blue-collar-barfly-catering interests, (however, the "Urban Harvest" festival held downtown every summer is somewhat of a refreshing exception to this). The only form of recreation around here is either getting drunk, or driving up and down Main St. downtown continuously, ad nauseaum, wasting gasoline.

Also, the music scene here is quite disappointing, its mainly middle-aged (once again) bar-playing cover bands doing covers of 70s "classic rock" tunes, and white blues players, although there are a few exceptions. However, the music scene here 10 years ago (around 97-98) was quite impressive (even giving Fargo or Minot's scenes a run for their respective monies), with quite a few punk/metal/indie/electronic groups. But alas, this was soon to come to an end with all the people involved in these bands moving far away from here later on :(.

Bismarck is a great place to live, if you want to be bored to insanity, or to be deprived of anything of cultural/intellectual significance. What can I say, Bismarck is quite a middle-aged city if there ever was one. I'd leave this city in a heartbeat, but it seems like I'm perpetually impoverished to afford a move...
I live in Bismarck. Please kill me.
by RDS May 10, 2007
This word's etymological roots are a derived from a composite of the frigid capital of North Dakota, the colossal size of the Nazi warboat, and the oft observed personal antics of the Prussian statesman after which the other two are named. It is a term used to describe the act of defecating (a good, colossal defecation) inside of a condom and freezing it for later use, violent or sexual.
Nothing satisfies a freaky lady (or man for that matter) on a hot summer day like a massive, frosty Bismarck.
by madmax1889 October 18, 2010
(noun) The act of ejaculating in a chick's eye and then punching it shut so the resulting scene resembles the Iron Chancellor's famous monacle.
(verb) 'to bismark'
My girl's been complaining about the toilet seat lately, so I'm gonna give her a Bismarck tonight.

Her eye was shut for three days after I Bismarcked her!
by number 9 February 07, 2008

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