What Her Clothing Says About How Sexy She Feels

Monday, March 30, 2015, 1:28 pm

What I wear on any given day is the result of a quick calculation involving many variables: Is it raining? Do I have a date after work? Is my no-show thong clean? And, more powerfully, it's the result of millions of years of evolution.

That's where you come in. Evolution is all about sexual selection—and for women, at least, choosing a mate begins with choosing how we display ourselves. As you may suspect, when we're dressed our sexiest, we're dressing for other women, in a way. No, it's not a threesome fantasy—it's a competition. For men.


Once you've learned the secret language of a woman's clothing, you'll be a better judge of when she's signaling sexual interest. And that's helpful whether you're in a relationship, or looking for one. Here's what to watch for.

A Belted Dress or Skirt
I'm thinking: I feel pretty, classically feminine, and flirty.

Nothing makes me feel more ladylike than a dress, especially the belted variety, which slims the waistline, enhances curviness, and is currently in style. (Perhaps you noticed the big-belt trend if your GF dragged you to Sex and the City.)

There is an evolutionary explanation for waist-cinching (corsets in the 19th century, wraparound dresses in the 1970s): Small waists appeal to men.

Maryanne Fisher, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at Saint Mary's University in Nova Scotia, Canada, says curviness, reflected in a woman's waist-to-hip ratio (WHR), is somewhat dependent on estrogen. It can show "fecundity, or basically her overall fertility," she says.

Some research shows that a WHR of about 0.7 (picture Marilyn Monroe or Scarlett Johansson . . . okay, you can stop now) is the most universally appealing to men.

"Males enjoy looking at these types of bodies because mating with females with such body types is more likely to produce viable offspring than it would with those who don't," says Steven Platek, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at Georgia Gwinnett College and an associate editor of Evolutionary Psychology.

David M. Buss, Ph.D., author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating, says that "belts and even colors and patterns can draw a man's attention to a woman's WHR, as well as give the appearance of a more pronounced WHR." A navel piercing may be her way of calling attention to her flat tummy, he says.

Your move: Be a gentleman. When I'm dressed up in a dress, I feel different, a more mature kind of sexy than when I'm wearing, say, hot jeans or short shorts. Accordingly, I want to be wooed by a more mature kind of man. Old-school gestures are welcome: Wrap your arm around my waist, hold a door, let me exit the elevator first. You'll charm my pants off. Oh, right, I'm not wearing pants. How convenient. (Yes, we have this thought, too.)

A Revealing V-Neck Top
I'm thinking: Do you like what you see? Give me your sperm.

Okay, I'm not really thinking that, but my slutty ovaries sometimes are. Research shows that women reveal more skin and dress more sexily when they're near ovulation. The reason, according to University of Texas at Austin researchers: Women dress sexily to compete with other women for your attention.

"The single women are showing this shift more than women in relationships are," says the study's lead author, Kristina Durante, a Ph.D. candidate at the university. "It shows that they're upping the ante, especially when they're going to a social event. It's possible they do this to have more in their arsenal to attract the best man they can."

Buss, a psychologist, says, "When women are ovulating, they are of higher 'mate value,' so this is a perfect opportunity for them to attract high-quality mates."

But at this fertile moment, reproductive costs are high, says Durante. Translation: I don't want to mate indiscriminately and end up knocked up by some genetic loser who might leave me.

"We want men who are going to provide the best genetic and material resources, but we're not all like Angelina Jolie and we can't all snag a Brad Pitt," Durante says. "So we dress up a little more, show off some cleavage, and pay a little more attention to our appearance. Then, perhaps, our mating pool is expanded."

Durante's study also showed that women who were less attractive dressed more sexily than attractive women, who don't need to try so hard. We've all seen proof of this phenomenon.

Your move: Don't forget the condom. "If a woman you know is looking sexier than you've seen her look in a while, make sure you use due caution later in the night," says Durante. I may be programmed to be more motivated for sex when I'm ovulating, but it's also precisely the time you're most likely to father a child.

High Heels
I'm thinking: Is he checking out my butt?

If you're noticing my body more than my shoes, they're working. Heels raise the buttocks so they become visually attractive to men, says Gad Saad, Ph.D., author of The Evolutionary Bases of Consumption.

But you already knew that, at least instinctively.

This boost of the butt produces a curve of the lower back toward the abdomen which, in mammals, is the position of female sexual receptivity, Saad explains. It's no coincidence that strippers are still wearing stilettos after they've shed their clothing. Real-world evidence: I don't recall ever wearing a pair of flats on a first date.

Your move: Say, "Hot shoes" (after a few dates, it's acceptable to say "Your butt looks hot in those jeans"), and then take me somewhere fancy. "If she's wearing heels, she's not saying, 'I want to go to a Nascar race,'" says Michael Cunningham, Ph.D., a psychologist and professor of communication at the University of Louisville. "She's saying, 'I'm looking for sophistication, not down-home comfort.'" She's also saying, "I don't want to walk 15 city blocks to the next bar. Kindly hail us a taxi."

Something Red
I'm thinking: I feel confident—and I want to be noticed.

We have an intuitive sense of color, says Cunningham. "Red, a hot color, suggests that a person is outgoing, whereas blue, a cool color, suggests that she's reserved. So people who wear red are trying to attract more attention to themselves than people who wear blues or grays."

Heck yeah, I sometimes feel like showing off, so I'll wear something to attract your attention. But since the color of my clothing may also have a lot to do with fashion trends (purple is the new black—no, wait, pink is), you can't always tell a lot about a woman based on her chosen hue alone. Instead, take notice: How am I dressed compared with other women in the room? That's your clue.

Your move: This is easy. Say, "You're the best-looking woman in the place." It's a can't-fail, evolution-based compliment. "Women are very aware of what other women are wearing," says Durante. "We don't want to wear the same thing as someone else. Often the first thing we do when we walk into a room is determine where we stand in attractiveness compared with other women around us."

A Snug, Soft Sweater
I'm thinking: Touch me.

I'm fully aware that when I wear my luxe, short-sleeved gray cashmere turtleneck, my boyfriend can't keep his hands off me. It's too easy, really.

Women who wear soft, touchable fabrics could be advertising that they're feeling soft, gentle, very feminine, and not aggressive, theorizes Fisher. That makes sense to me. A clingy sweater is one way I can show off quietly, without revealing a lot of skin.

There's always some ambiguity, Cunningham points out. Do I like the way a soft fabric feels against me? Or do I think you're going to like the way it feels against you? Perhaps both. An over-the-cashmere-sweater grope when I'm already braless feels pretty nice for both parties, no?

Your move: I'm a sensual girl, so keep the hugs coming and be generous with post-romp cuddles.

A Top that Reveals My Bra Strap
I'm thinking: Look at my shoulders . . . and my sexy lingerie.

It doesn't take an evolutionary psychologist to make a snap judgment on this one. When I'm flashing a hint of bra, it's often, like a starlet's red-carpet nip slip, intentional. (Exception: tan or nude-hued bras, which are decidedly unsexy and worn with the idea that their innate granny-pantiness will remain hidden.) That hint of delicate pink lace at the tip of my V-neck shirt? I want you to see it. Black bra under white tank top: I want you to see that, too.

Even a white bra and panties can be sexy in a good-girl sort of way.

And when I (or better, you) have taken off my top to reveal my lingerie in its entirety, it's safe to assume we've moved on from the look-don't-touch to the touch-me-already portion of the program.

Your move: Take it from here.