

How To Build An Emotional Connection

7 Tips For A Strong Emotional Bond That Lasts

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What is an emotional connection? If you listen, are there signs that tell you that you are bonding with someone? Why is finding that level of emotional security so difficult with the opposite sex? Learn the ins and outs of an emotional connection and why it is necessary to bond emotionally in order to build a relationship.

Defining Emotional Connection

Each person individually defines what an emotional connection means to her, but there is a basic definition that can apply to all people.


The word emotional means to arouse strong feelings.

The feelings may be anger, sorrow, joy, love or any of thousands of emotions that humans experience.


Relationships without an Emotional Connection

In order for a relationship to build and become stronger, forge an emotional connection.

Perhaps you are in a relationship with someone you feel strongly about or love.

He, on the other hand, seems distant, often holding back thoughts and seldom sharing himself, physically or emotionally.

This sort of relationship might be a friendship or a co-dependent situation of living together or fulfilling a sexual need.


The Bonds that Hold

A couple that meets and delves into learning as much about each other as possible creates an emotional connection.

Through thoughtful and caring communication, you each learn the intricacies of the other. You learn what makes him happy, what makes him angry and what brings him to his knees in joyful celebration. He learns what brings you to tears, what causes you to smile mysteriously, and what frustrates you. You each learn the essence of the other and feel compassion and empathy, or share the emotion.
In order for a couple to benefit from the joys of an emotional connection, they must be willing to become vulnerable with each other.

Allowing someone into your inner sanctum of secrets, pain and joy means taking risks. A risk of this magnitude demands trust.

When trust is betrayed, the healing is long and arduous.

According to Susan Johnson and Hara Estroff Marano, authors of the article “In the Name of Love” (Psychology Today Magazine, March 1994), “We fall in love when a strong attachment bond is formed. We stay in love by maintaining the bond.”

Without a strong emotional connection, the road to love is blocked.

When the attachment breaks or becomes neglected, love falls to the wayside.
Signs of Emotional Connection

Although every individual’s emotions differ, there is one universal sign that an emotional connection has been made between two people.

A true sign is that both parties invite the other inside.



The conversation flows easily from one to the other.


The area of emotional connection is so subjective that each person exhibits different emotions and physical feelings.

She may feel “butterflies” in her stomach each time he calls. He may finish her sentence or start speaking the same thought at the same time. Is this a deep bond or just coincidence?

Every person views it differently.

Keep in mind there is a difference between physical attraction and an emotional connection.

Although one may lead to the next, physical attraction is a superficial emotion that begins the journey toward an emotional connection and love.
Marriage and Emotional Connections


When one partner comes home to a distant spouse who refuses to share, the marriage suffers.

Resentment builds, disagreements ensue and a merry-go-round of hurt and lack of trust keeps the marriage in a state of turmoil.

If you feel you have lost the emotional connection with your partner, try to figure out the cause.

Is there an unforgiving wrong that has caused distance between the two of you?

Perhaps in anger, something was said or done that caused emotional or physical pain.

Maybe one of you just stopped trying due to lack of time or not wanting to face an issue.

Denial comes in to play, making it difficult to reestablish the all-important emotional connection.
How to Establish an Emotional Connection

If you want the healthiest relationship possible, learn how to establish a strong emotional connection with your partner.

With this in place, all other areas will flow naturally. Here are seven tips that can help you forge an unbreakable bond:

1. Study Your Partner

Understand what your partner needs and wants from life and you. This means paying close attention when he talks. Look past the words and into his heart where he harbors secrets he wants to share.

2. Trust

Develop a sense of trust with each other. This building block to an emotional connection will not come overnight. It takes time to develop secure feelings with another person. Let trust build naturally.

3. Emotional Availability

Both of you must be emotionally available to the other. If you hold back in any way, you are not opening yourself up to the possibilities of a strong connection.
4. Show Affection

A couple in a budding relationship has little problem showing affection, but married couples suffering from a fraying connection may need to work on being affectionate with each other.

Kiss each other good morning and good night. Hold hands, hug and rekindle the fires of physical love.

5. Fight Fair

In the midst of heated battle, words and accusations fly, often hitting an unintended mark.

Learn to fight fair. If you do not know how, search for a book or counselor who can help you.

When arguing do not bring up the past. Stay in the moment and use solid reasons for why you feel the way you do.

6. See the World Through His Eyes

Try to see the world as he does to discover who he really is. This means stepping back at times to envision why he behaves in certain ways. Observe how he reacts to situations and try to imagine being in his shoes. Expect him to do the same.
7. Overcome the Obstacles

Couples in faltering marriages often have pressing issues that need to be solved before an emotional connection can be established again.

Define each problem together and then find solutions to alleviate or eliminate the obstacle.

Once the biggest obstacles are conquered, you can begin rebuilding the lost emotional connection.

Emotional connections are complex and subjective, but bring so much to the relationship table.

Without building a strong bond, the relationship cannot advance from a simple friendship.

Remaining in a relationship without an emotional connection means one or both people will end up feeling as if something is missing.

And they would be right. In this case, something is missing: the strong chain that binds two people together and develops into a deep, abiding love that stands the test of time.
Are You Emotionally Unavailable?

Are you one of those rare breeds of American women who are emotionally unavailable and find yourself running for the hills each time a man comes along and tries to tame you? Contrary to popular belief, there's a little of that in all of us, but exactly how unavailable are you? Take this quiz and find out if you're a desperate dater or a runaway bride.

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