havoca internet safety cautionSafety

A word of caution
The internet is a great source of information. However I suggest that you treat all of this information, and especially information that you seek regarding your own health and well-being, with caution.
This is not to say that information that you discover on the internet is inaccurate or misleading. While some of it can be pretty suspect, much of it is valuable.
Well-intentioned rather than well-informed
As a general rule it is wise to consider all health-related information from whatever source and including this site to be well-intentioned rather than well-informed. Your safety must come first.
It is impossible to provide even reasonably accurate personal suggestions without first taking a very detailed case history. Even then any suggestions need to be carefully discussed with the person for whom the suggestions are designed.
So act cautiously and responsibly with regard to all health-related suggestions. Evaluate them and decide for yourself how much, if any, applies to your personal circumstances and please proceed with caution when applying such suggestions in your life.
You must be the judge
Who can you rely on? Which sources of information are absolutely reliable? What information can you accept and apply immediately without having to think about it?
You are the only person responsible for your safety.
You cannot even blindly rely on information from your own family doctor, who may have known you for years. Nor from a qualified specialist, therapist, scientist, nor anyone else. Why?

Be cautious and sceptical
Because none of these experts knows you well enough to be able to prescribe what is right for you in a manner that you can accept without…
questioning it
verifying it
seeking a second, third or , in serious situations, even a fourth or fifth opinion
cross-checking the information with that from other sources, and so on…
Do this until you are sure that it is not only the best quality information but it is also the most pertinent to your particular circumstances.
Then, when you do come to apply the information, remember that it is your body, your mind, and your life.
You are the one who loses if things go wrong.
So apply the information with caution – and carefully monitor the effects, being prepared to change things if you are unhappy with the results.
Treat this information similarly.
I believe that the information on this site is reliable – up to a point. That point is that any information regarding your health and well-being must be tailored to your personal circumstances.
If I spent some time getting a detailed ‘case history’ from you the information would be a lot more relevant to your situation. (And would still need to be scrutinised by you – and cross-checked).
However I do not know you. So the information on this site is of a general nature. You have to decide which, if any, of it is appropriate for you. You then have to apply it to the degree what is appropriate for you.
Then, if you do apply the information or use some of the ideas and techniques offered here – please proceed with caution.
And please decide that it is your responsibility to subject all advice from whatever source, no matter how well qualified they appear, to the same critical thinking.
Be an active participant rather than a ‘patient patient’…

Online Safety Course
HAVOCA periodically runs a Safety Course tailored to Survivors of abuse and run entirely online and free of charge. To take part in the eight day course you need to be a member of our forums, access to a computer for about an hour a day and the drive and determination to progress a step further on your journey. For more information please follow this link

The words “victim” and “survivor” are used throughout this website, but their limitations are acknowledged in that these terms may discount the aspects of a person’s life that are healthy and productive. The term “thriver” is now sometimes used to describe people who are not only surviving but flourishing. It better reflects the idea that child abuse is something that happens to people and should not be considered the core of their identity. On this website, the terms “victim” and “survivor”, which are commonly used in the abuse-related literature, designate a person who has experienced child abuse in his or her childhood.

7 Responses to Safety

  1. Liselotte K. Jensen-Newton says:

    I have made a petition to the “move on organization” for support to have the rights to get the “right biological parents” on our birth certificate, so we can be identified and protected against our mother and her husband / boyfriends, their family and relatives. I learned when you are an illegitimate child YOU HAVE NO ONE. You shall accept to be raped for dinner, roof over your head etc.. Your mother hates you ( my mothers abuse is leveled “torture”. Daily beatings, busted spleen, broken vertebra, cut up belly , because I could not commit suicide Japanese style. Worse was being told how they hated me, my half sister and half brothers good life, the names the called me. Every one excluding me in the schools etc. for being the ugly dirty black bastard.

  2. John doe says:

    You have it in you to survive and move on from your situation I know its hard to do but it is possible . talk to people who care about things you have been thru. The more support you have the more you feel like some one cares about what has happened to you. That in itself will help you to be stronger for you!

  3. Vern Ray Vann jr. says:

    I was an abused child. For 18 years, my mother, step brothers, step father and step father’s, brother and father, represented a system of physical, mental and sexual abuse. They as group made several attempts to murder and corrupt me, in various ways. When I was 3 years old they tried to hypnotizes me, to get me to forget the abuse, I pretended to be hypnotize so they wouldn’t kill me. As the years pasted and I got older, their abuse changed, it became more cryptic and under-handed. When I got to an age where I could physical protect myself, I began to confront them about their abuses behavior. I gradually talked about their abuse. when I started naming names. They became threaten that I would have them arrested and charged, so my mother, step father, and step brother, began to planned to have me murdered. I over heard their plans, and on Dec. 8, 1983, I killed both my Mother and step father. I went to prison for their murders, I was unable to talk about the abuse in court. I was sentence to 17 to 30 years in prison. I serviced my time and was released from prison in 1999 from the Michigan dept. of corrections. Since my release, I’ve been very productive with my life for the more part, working in social services helping other people reach their potential. Its now time for me to talk my story and get closure and maybe bring others who victimized me to justice. I’m no longer afraid to talk about my past, I’m no longer ashamed. I want to talk openly about my history, I have a strong need to do so. I need help and direction, please and thank you in advance.

  4. Yvonne says:

    just wanted to say I feel for you and hope you are able to enjoy your moments .Good thoughts to you.

  5. Michelle Adedayo says:

    I’m so pleased finding this great website and having the opportunity to share my past experiences with likeminded people. It is susch a shame the traumatic experiences abuse survivors have passed through from our toxic parents those that are supposed to be regarded as loved family. I can still clearly remember how my mother treated me badly preferring my younger sibling to me, asking me to undertake all the houseworks whilst my immediate sister enjoyed herself watching TV or accompanying her to social events. This definately affected my self esteem and confidence. I am thriving to improve myself but still feels something is holding from progressing.

Leave a Reply