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How honest should we be with our kids?



Both of us come from very religious families that didn't drink. In my family, drinking at all was considered a sin. Both of us also come from families where there has been some alcohol dependency. We're teaching our kids that drinking isn't necessarily bad in itself. They've seen us drink alcohol on occasion, always in moderation. But we also make it clear that alcohol is only for adults—especially adults who approach it cautiously. We teach them that being drunk is a bad thing because it leads to bad decision-making.



The answer is yes. I was a high school drinker. The first time I ever drank alcohol, I got drunk to the point of throwing up. I hated it. Physically, I felt like I was about to die. Emotionally, I was embarrassed. I felt out of control, and that's not a feeling I liked. That one experience scared me so much that I've been very careful about alcohol ever since. I don't drink that much now because of that first time.

So I'll tell my kids that story. I'll disclose it because it's relevant. I'll tell them how it made me feel. I'll tell them how sick I was. I'll talk about hanging around the party crowd in high school, and what I observed from my friends who were always getting drunk. I'll tell my kids about the bad decisions I saw my friends make—decisions about their sexuality or safety.

The same goes for Mark. He drank enough in high school to get drunk a time or two. He'll talk to the kids about his negative experiences with alcohol, too.

We will be honest with them to the degree it's necessary for the purpose of the conversation and their age level.

I'm appreciating the #talkearly campaign, because it's helping me wade through the challenges of talking to kids about these kinds of issues. Communication is SO important to raising kids. And honesty is important to good communication.


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