Forgiving is difficult but key in Christianity, faith leaders say

(Jacob Langston, Orlando…)
April 19, 2014|By Jeff Kunerth, Orlando Sentinel

Forgiveness is the cornerstone of the Christian faith: to be forgiven, you must forgive.

"All of the stories of Jesus, all the parables, are all about forgiveness," said Bishop John Noonan, head of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Orlando. "This is exactly why he came: to forgive."

But it's hard to get beyond the pain and anger and the human desire for revenge, punishment and justice, Noonan said. Whether it's a personal betrayal, a violent crime or a crooked deal, forgiveness is difficult.

"It doesn't come easy. It can take a lifetime," Noonan said. "But you can't live your life motivated by anger, hatred and frustration."

Forgiveness goes against human nature, faith leaders contend. To forgive is to let go, and that means losing some control.

"The willingness to let go takes tremendous courage," said Bishop Gregory Brewer, head of the Episcopal Diocese of Central Florida.

There is aninstinct that says forgiveness is a gift to the undeserving, it's letting someone off the hook, giving permission to a bad person to keep being bad, Brewer said.

"The last thing I want is to give permission to my perpetrator, especially if something evil happened," he said.

But forgiveness is less a reward to the wrongdoer than a gift to yourself, given by God, Noonan said.

"It's very spiritual, emotional and psychological experience in your life to be able to forgive somebody," he said. "That's what makes it so unique, because it's not easy."

The most difficult thing is that forgiveness is an act of selflessness, faith leaders said. It's kneeling before the person who hurt you.

"It takes humility to forgive someone," said Don Jaeger, director of the Glennon House, a spiritual-healing ministry in Winter Park. "How many people want to humble themselves to God, much less another person?"

"Forgiveness means I am releasing them from any claim I have on their life for revenge," Brewer said. "Forgiveness is looking a transgression in the face and saying I'm letting this go."

Forgiveness doesn't mean the forgiven person goes unpunished, faith leaders say, but that the punishment is extracted by the courts, the justice system and God.

Forgiveness is the get-out-of-jail card that frees us from the worst day of our lives, said Joel Hunter, pastor at Longwood'sNorthland, a Church Distributed.

"What you are doing by forgiving is freeing yourself from that person, or what they have done, from dominating you and keeping you captive." or 407-420-5392

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