1. Preschoolers
  2. Behaviour
  3. Common concerns

Swearing: toddlers and preschoolers

3-5 years


Swearing: why children do it


Children might also be trying to express a feeling like frustration. Or they might simply be saying the word because it sounds funny or gets a reaction.

Children might also be imitating others when they swear.

What to do about swearing: immediate action



If your child continues to swear, or you feel it’s a good opportunity to teach her about swearing, try talking with her about her choice of words. For example, you could say, ‘We don’t use words that upset people’. Preschoolers might not fully understand the words they use, but they can understand that swear words can hurt or offend others.


Should you explain what the word means?

Children over the age of four years can get some good out of a simple explanation. If you think your child might have some understanding of the meaning of the word, you can ask him what he thinks the word means. Then use general terms to explain why it’s not OK. For example, you could say, ‘That’s a word for private body parts, and it’s not nice to use’.

What to do about swearing: longer term

It’s a good idea for the adults in your home to discuss and agree on acceptable language, and discuss this with your child. For example, in some families, expressions like ‘Oh my god’ are OK, but other words aren’t.

If your family has rules about swearing, it’ll be easier to point out when your child is using unacceptable language. For example, you might say, ‘Please use a nicer word’, or ‘We don’t use words like that’.

And it’s less confusing for children if the rules about swearing apply to adults as well as children. If you want your children to avoid swearing, you and the other adults in your home need to avoid it too.

Here are more ideas to encourage respectful speaking and reduce swearing in your family:

  • Think of other words to use if you find it hard to stop swearing, and other ways to handle difficult situations. For example, instead of swearing, you could say something like, ‘I feel really frustrated or angry’. This way you’re modelling better ways of expressing feelings.
  • Be aware of what your child watches, listens to and plays with. That means supervising and checking the ratings on TV, movies and other multimedia and music. It’s also a good idea to have the TV and computers and other devices in a part of the house where you can easily see them.
Preschoolers (and some toddlers) can be intrigued by private body parts and bodily functions. They might start to use words like ‘bum head’, ‘poo face’ and ‘farty’. Although some of these words might not be OK in your home, it’s probably just a phase. Ignoring the words or explaining that they can’t be used will help.

Tackling swearing by dealing with the cause


Swearing for attention
If your child is swearing because it gets your attention or a good reaction from you, it’s best to make sure you don’t react at all. Avoid laughing or getting angry. Stay calm and ignore the word. Give attention and praise when your child uses polite language.

Swearing out of anger and frustration
If the swearing is because of anger or frustration, you can help your child name those emotions – for example, ‘I can see you’re really angry/frustrated’. It’s also important for your child to know that it’s normal and OK to feel these emotions. But it’s better for your child to express his feelings using more appropriate words.

With anger, it might be important for your child to get away from what’s making her angry. For example, if your child is angry with a playmate, tell her to walk away or ask an adult for help with the situation.

With frustration, you can talk your child through steps for sorting out problems for himself. For example, if he has lost a toy, suggest he looks in the last place he was playing, then in his bedroom, and so on.

In both of these situations, you can teach your child other ways to deal with anger and frustration. This could include counting to 10, taking deep breaths, or talking about difficult feelings.

You can also encourage your child to use alternative words that aren’t offensive. For example, you could suggest ‘flip’ or ‘shivers’ or even funny words that you and your child make up together.

Where did my child hear that word?


Not all children learn swear words from their parents. Exposure to swear words on TV can lead to an increase in swearing in children. As children get older, their friends and peers will influence their choice of words too.

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