Digital Photography

by Paul Farrier

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Rapid Global Warming?

After reviewing climatological data provided by NOAA scientists, there is irrefutable evidence that we are on a collision course with rapid and severe global warming!

You may have wondered why the sudden rise in temperature here of late? Temperatures have been below freezing for several weeks now and the snow has accumulated in many parts of the northern United States, Canada, and other parts of the world. This sudden rise in temperatures is expected to climb higher. It has risen 22 degrees just since this morning! The scientist say that we can expect temperatures to climb another 50 to 60 degrees Fahrenheit by summer.

What does this mean?

The first thing we expect to happen is the snow will melt. There's nothing we can do about it. But the ice on the lakes is going to melt too. Let this be a warning to those ice fishing to get their shanties and vehicles off the ice. If this warning is ignored, literally thousands of sportsmen and sportswomen will be lost and property damages could reach into the billions!

As the temperatures climb, people are going to have to adjust. They won't be able to wear their thermal underwear and heavy coats, hats, and gloves when they venture outside. It will be too dangerous. If people do not wear less clothing, we could expect millions to suffer and die from heat stroke. Some suggest drinking cold beverages instead of hot will relieve some discomfort caused by higher temperatures. There appears to be a general consensus from scientist that temperatures in the upper 70's to low 90's could have catastrophic results if people do not heed the warnings and make all necessary adjustments.

Dr. Algore Chicenlitel, from Havad University says that high carbon emissions from heating fuel and industry have caused a greenhouse effect. He has rallied world leaders, most from the pourer nations that do not have air conditioning and some wealthier nations whose customs do not include frequent bathing. These nations are at extreme risk not just from the heat but from the odor as well. Dr. Chicenlitel leads the charge against worlds largest producers of CO2. However, some large producers are at a severe disadvantage economically and therefore should be excused.

But not all scientists agree. Some say we should not be alarmed by this warming trend. Some say that nature has contributed to this climate change. They cite the defoliation of the northern hemisphere's deciduous trees last fall. Without their leaves, they are not breaking down the CO2 in to Carbon and Oxygen. Without this process (photosynthesis), the excessive CO2 in the atmosphere is building up and that is the major contributor to the greenhouse effect and the rising temperatures. The cure for this is to cut down the deciduous trees and plant evergreens but this process is much too slow.

However, there are a few scientist who disagree entirely. Of course these scientist are quacks and should be ignored. They say that this is a natural cycle.

They suggest the earth has gone through heating and cooling cycles many times in the past and there is not much mankind can do to stop it, to speed it up or slow it down in the future. They blame it on the sun. This is what they claim. "The earth rotates on a tilted axis and the northern hemisphere has been pointed away from the sun. As the earth orbits the sun, the northern hemisphere will actually be pointed more toward the sun, providing more direct solar and UV radiation. The increase in direct radiation will cause temperatures to climb. They believe this is what has caused it in the past and is the most likely cause in the future. Dr. Algore Chicenlitel claims this is incredible deceipt! "We all know that the sun is billions of miles away from the earth and in between is the void of space. No way could heat travel that far in cold space. Anybody who believes differently is just stupid." says Chicenlitel.

But be assured that political leaders from around the world will follow the wise council of over 2500 scientist and put this information to their political use. These forward thinking leaders will use their power to divert $578 trillion dollars to come up with and implement plans to bring an end to the crisis. The first $150 trillion will go to the committees to come up with the perfect global temperature. Then $250 trillion will be spent on the process of evaluation, developement, and production of the global thermostat and where to put it. Then another $900 trillion will be spent on entitlements to those people who were put out of work in the process of shutting down industries in capitalist countries. Sure that's over the $578 trillion estimated, but now we've calculated the expected budget overruns.

Meanwhile, things that were important before will just have to wait until this crisis is solved. Funding for AIDS research and treatment will have to be diverted. Health care for children and poverty stricken nations will have to wait. The vast majority of Iraqui's will have to be left to butchering Islamic Fascist Warlords as the US and Allied forces are prematurely pullout of the region for lack of funding. The hungry and starving around the world may have to be sacrificed while we focus on saving our ski slopes. And, I hate to be the one with bad news, but Main Street in downtown Dayton will no doubt have to go another year without repairs.

WE MUST FACE THE PROBLEM BRAVELY. Do NOT ignore it. We are in for a long and hot summer.

If you think this is not serious, here is positive proof. I took this photograph of the melting snow in my front yard just today!

THINK ABOUT IT! Then call your congressman today!

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