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Lack of Emotional Intelligence in our society

Updated on July 23, 2014

Emotions and Humans

Emotions can play a vital role in a human’s life if they have the ability to express and control their emotions effectively. They also need to understand and respond to the emotions of others; otherwise, humans won’t be able to understand when other humans are happy or sad or in trouble, and need help or kind words.

Furthermore, there are many people around us, who are extremely good listeners. They can deal with almost any situation. They don’t get offended very easily and are also very caring and considerate. They make others feel hopeful about life and are exceptionally good at managing their emotions. They know how to tackle stressful situations and have the ability to find a solution to problems in a positive way. They're excellent decision makers. In Psychology, these abilities are referred to as emotional intelligence.

Definition of Emotional Intelligence

It is defined as, “Emotional Intelligence is a capacity of people to recognize their own feelings and the feelings of others, to motivate themselves, and to manage their own emotions as well as the emotions in relationship with others”.

It is also defined as the ability to understand and value emotions in making decisions. It enables a person to realize how their emotions affect people around them, and to understand how others feel.

What does the research say?

Previous research shows that emotional intelligence can be more important than IQ. There are numerous benefits associated with emotional intelligence. For instance, people having a higher level of emotional intelligence know themselves very well. They're also able to sense the emotional needs of others. Such people are usually successful in almost every thing they do. Emotional intelligence helps in building a career, achieving personal goals and improving the quality of relationships.

Similarly, research also suggests that emotional intelligence can be an inborn characteristic in humans, while others believe that it can be learned and improved. The later half of the argument induces a positive sense in humans as it will help them to develop it. So, emotional intelligence is not something which cannot be incorporated in our personalities. Emotional intelligence impacts many different aspects of daily life, the way humans behave, and how they interact with others.

Emotional Intelligence Verses Lack of Emotional Intelligence

Considering the fact that humans have different personalities and different ways of showing their emotions, humans can converge at this point that emotions are the same. Humans can empathize with others, which lead to enhanced interaction between them. It eases up a lot of challenges and many conflicts can easily be resolved. The ability of emotional intelligence helps in dealing with stress and effective communication.

To tell the truth, times have changed, and the sentiment of sympathy, empathy, kindness, and care is scarcely found now around us. The people in our society lack emotional intelligence. They are less capable of understanding and respecting emotions. It is the biggest challenge faced by our society because emotional intelligence is considered alien to the land of humans. One can not induce the spirit of emotional intelligence in those who are not interested in emotions at all. There are several reasons for this change. There is a high intensity of greed and lust for money. They are more interested in wordily possessions. They are ignorant about teachings of the religion about different ways of life.

People have become too busy in their lives to care about what is happening around them. The level of education may have increased but its affect on well being is almost negligible. The heart of a human, made of flesh and blood, is turning into a stone. It is beating and pumping blood into the human’s body but is unable to sense the misery and sufferings of others.

It is a fact that humans make significant decisions in life. The way people manage their emotions and reactions play an important role in the decisions they make. Emotionally Intelligent people are capable of making good decisions. Who decides what is good? Because people make decisions which are best for them regardless of there consequence on others, there is a huge difference in the decision made on the basis of actual facts and a decision based on human emotions. People make biggest mistake by allowing emotions to interfere while making crucial decisions. A decision made in the heat of the moment holds terrible consequences later on that could have been realized earlier.

Consequently, the behavior and interaction of people with others has an impact on many different aspects of our daily life. It has become normal to see people in the street, talking calmly one minute and fighting the next. The road paints a clear picture where the consequence of reckless driving is ending up in a physical fight. The joint family system is broken down to nucleus families. The senior citizens, who used to live with their children and grand children, now end up in retirement homes. The bond of relationships is getting weaker and weaker. Due to the lack of this ability, our generation is facing the worst psychological illnesses and they feel emotionally detached. The divorce rate is increasing every year and these broken families are giving rise to an increasing number of children who are emotionally paralyzed. The killings in the name of “honor” have also increased. So many innocent people die every passing moment.

Real Life Incidents

Besides this, the lack of communication can only bring loss and suffering, whereas effective communication can save us from regretful decisions in life. In an emotional intelligence training session, various incidents were shared to discuss the consequences of emotionally unintelligent decisions and lack of effective communication skills.

In the beginning, an incident about a family with two sons was discussed. One day the younger son had a fight with the neighbor. The elder son was informed that his younger brother was seriously injured; he went to that neighbor’s apartment and hit him with a steel pipe on the head. The neighbor was immediately taken to the hospital but died due to excessive blood loss. Later, the younger brother told his brother that it was a misunderstanding and that the neighbor wasn’t the one he had fought with. The two families were grieving, one the death of their only son and the other bearing the loss of an elder son as he was taken into police custody. Later, their son was sentenced to death; and his last wish was to bring back those moments in which he made that irrational decision of killing that innocent neighbor.

In another incident, a man divorced his wife. He was usually away for work reasons and his close friend used to take care of his family. All was fine until the relatives disapproved of this act and warned the man of the consequences. But he knew his friend used to come in good faith. Gradually there were trust issues between husband and wife and the relationship ended.

In the same manner, a man who suspected the character of his wife and without any inquiry was determined to take revenge. He shot her while she was offering prayers. Now their children are grown up and still they don’t now why their mother was killed.

Likewise, a husband and wife with their three children were living happily until the wife was diagnosed with blood cancer. The moment the husband found out he left the house and started living in his office. He intentionally misplaced her medical reports. She is now living alone with her children and too weak to take care of them. She decided to put her children in an orphan home.


On the whole, the way humans are disregarding emotions is taking them nowhere but to a disastrous end. They are losing important relations and their share of happiness. If a human wants to reduce stress and conflicts in life, then they have to act sensibly rather than sensitively. They should know how to empathize with others. They must develop a habit of thinking rationally and protecting themselves from rash decisions. It is important to identify and analyze the situation when making a crucial decision. Sensible people make decisions based on fact not on emotions, while sensitive people are confused. Many times, we are aware when a situation is about to bring trouble. It helps us in recognizing our emotions and also prevents us from making decision based on emotions.


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    • sosan-june profile image

      sosan-june 3 years ago

      Hey there! I agree with you. We have become blind to whatever is happening around us. I strongly believe that highlighting such problems will make a huge difference.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      There is definitely a dearth of emotional intelligence in our world today. The stories told here are horrific, and there are many more in the news every day. It is as if our hearts have become hardened to the value of life. There is no easy solution, but bringing the problem out into the open helps us to see it more clearly.


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