Just How Risky Is Sexting?


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But what is the reality? Sexting is often seen as a dicey electronic version of "I'll show you mine, you show me yours". Many teens (and adults) engage in it. Indeed, some are suggesting that it is becoming a "normal" part of adolescent sexual development. And in general, few psychological problems (if any) are correlated with the behaviour.

Here's the bottom line: research suggests that most photos don't end up in disasters, either socially (being passed around, teased, bullied) or criminally (being prosecuted).

Such outcomes are possible, but they aren't highly probable. We should make kids aware of these possibilities, but we have to do that without suggesting that disaster is likely or, worse, inevitable.

Risky behaviour?




When I studied the after effects of sexting, I found that most incidents didn't have much of an outcome at all — either good or bad. Most kids didn't describe trauma or bullying, but neither did they describe newly-acquired boyfriends or increased popularity. The most common outcome was generally "feeling worse", but even that happened in only about one-quarter of the cases.

Curiosity and coercion

Yet there are risks to sexting that have been largely ignored. A lot of sexting is done to attract the recipient — either by an existing girlfriend or boyfriend, or by someone who wants a relationship with the recipient.

It's becoming increasingly clear, however, that not all sexting is about fun and games. My biggest concern is when kids under 18 — often girls — are pressured by their peers to engage in sexting that they really don't want to do. The younger they are when they sext, the more likely they are to report that they succumbed to pressure. And that pressure isn't rare.


Is it time for sexting ed?


Officials also found — to their astonishment — that sexting appeared to be widespread and common, and that issues such as widespread exposure and criminal liability were far from the minds of the teens involved. Any parent might ask, why haven't students been taught about the criminal nature of underage sexting? Why haven't students been warned about how devastating it could be to have a nude photo become public?

The problem, in my experience, isn't that adults don't issue these warnings. The problem is that kids don't hear them. That deafness probably results from credibility issues. Why should you trust a warning that contains inaccurate data?

Imagine that I warned you to wear your seat belt, because half of the car rides in America end up with someone going through the windshield. You might not listen to me, given that it's obvious to anyone that half of the car rides in America don't end up with people slamming on the brakes, much less going through the windshield.

Sexting warnings are the same. If our information isn't correct, if we're issuing dire warnings about outcomes that are, in reality, pretty rare, then our message isn't heard.

The conversations that will ring true with kids aren't about the law or about social humiliation. These conversations should address the common risks and problems sexting poses, like being pressured to send pictures, or pressuring someone else to send pictures. Some teens may not understand that pressuring someone into sending naked pictures can be sexual harassment. There are no social rules about when it's OK to take or post a picture without someone's consent — but 70% of the teens I study say that there should be commonly-accepted and agreed-upon guidelines. "Sexting ed" could help us all develop such social norms.


It's important for parents to discuss risk, but also to discuss them realistically. Talking with your children about obeying the law, respecting others' privacy, everyone's right to keep their bodies private, and what values you have about this issue is what parenting around sexting is all about.The Conversation

Elizabeth Englander is Professor of Psychology, and the Director of the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center (MARC) at Bridgewater State University. She does not work for, consult to, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has no relevant affiliations.



    A study into seatbelts found that on most drives there was no crash and no one died. So seatbelts are now optional. Wait, what?

    You have to ask yourself, what is the worst outcome. What if this photo is seen by the friends of the recipient? Friends of friends? Strangers on the internet and potentially getting back to your family and friends? Sexting is not a requirement of the courting process. If he/she really loves you they won't require a rude photo.

    Ok so they love you now and you trust them. What happens if you break up or even if you just piss then off in the future? Teen relationships are typically fleeting.

    Of course, like drug advice, drink driving and safe sex advice, nothing adults say will ever change teens' minds so there will always be nude photos of people and ownership privileges abused. Teens always know best. How could someone with 20+ more years experience possibly know more than them?

    And don't forget, if you're under the age of 18 (?) and you send a nude photo to your boyfriend / girlfriend, that counts as creating and distributing child pornography and your partner could also get done for possession of child pornography. Best to never send 'em photos, regardless of how much you trust them. It just takes one person peering over your shoulder to dob you in and screw up your whole life.

      Apparently that got changed (in Victoria, at least?) so that it's not a crime if you also send it to someone else who's under 18. To make sure kids who are of the legal age of consent can sext each other without falling foul of laws designed to catch entirely different targets.

      (Which makes a lot more sense. Putting your private parts into/onto each other: legal. Taking pictures of it: ...illegal? Fucking absurd.)

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