September 16, 2007

A History Lesson

The following is a "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. They are enough to make you laugh and perhaps cry. All original spelling and grammar remain intacked...I mean intact!

The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.




In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the coral wreath because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.


In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The poems and verse and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.














Olivia Kroth said...

This makes me sad, Jan, and I would rather cry than laugh.

Analphabetism and lack of knowledge seems to be as widespread among school children in the USA as in Germany.

Being a teacher, my heart bleeds. Where has all our work gone? So many lessons at school, but almost no results to be seen.

Are teachers not qualified enough to teach children so that they will learn anything valuable? Or is the new generation of children so hard to educate that nothing really stays fixed in their heads? They seem to have brains like sieves.

GUYK said...



"The government of England was a limited mockery."

Things just don't change much, heh

Anonymous said...


No, they mostly aren't qualified to teach anyone.

Yes, they are that hard to educate.

Yes, their brains are kind of smoushy, just like all brains.

I think most learning goes on after we get out of school. American school just gives you, if you are lucky and try hard, enough information to learn how to learn on the job without screwing up too badly. European schooling, I observed, in some cases, they evidently try to teach them EVERYTHING, and things that pop up outside their rote - that just blows their minds.


Olivia Kroth said...

I find that a harsh judgement, jdallen, but probably there is a grain of truth in it.

Vin De Vine said...

Personally I think learning develops most powerfully in the first few years when a child's brain is screaming for information that will allow them to survive, find pleasure and avoid pain. I mean we have to teach ourselves to breath within a matter of minutes after we are born or games over right from the start. How many of us consciously remember how to breath today? That is something we learn so well we take it for granted now.

Jan said...

Olivia..sorry this makes you sad. I don't think that analphabetism was the point here..just a bit of humor.

As far as a lack of education, or teachers being unqualified, or children having brains like sieves, I think that most students excel in the subjects that they are really interested in, or ones in which they are adept.

Jan said... that hurt, don't you? :)

Jan said...

"I think most learning goes on after we get out of school."

jdallen...and there are those with no formal education at all, who are pretty sharp.

Welcome, and thanks for your comments.

Jan said...

Hmmm...well, vin, our brain stem is the thing that controls our breathing, along with our digestion and heartbeat, but I understand what you are saying.

You're right about the younger years being some of the most formative, and the proof of that, I think, is the ability of a very young child to learn another language.

GUYK said...

I think Jan is right. Kids learn mostly what they want to learn but then again it is a teacher's job to make the kids want to learn..I used to teach some of the driest stuff in the world to most affairs. Another time I taught a block of management and supervision instruction to brand new Non Coms..a dry subject to most people but a vital one to new supervisors. I did my best to use humor in the classroom and to make the learning process an interesting and fun one.

A lot of K-12 teachers are missing out by not doing the same and expecting kids to just soak in the knowledge they put out. But it don't work that way and the humor above is the results in too many cases...

"Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick Raper, which did the work of a hundred men." BAWAHAHAHAHAHA

I hope Fat Hairy Guy see this..he is a history teacher.

Jan said...

"but then again it is a teacher's job to make the kids want to learn.." true, and that is the difference between a good teacher and an average one.

Jim - PRS said...

There were just so many gems here. If I had to pick one, I might go with, "Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock."

Damn, that's funny.

Jan said...

Welcome, know that can be pure poison, sometimes!

I kinda liked the one about Queen Victoria sitting on a thorn for 63 years! :)

GUYK said...


At least the kid was using some deductive logic....BAWAHAHAHA

Jan said...

guyk...each time I read through this, I have to laugh, too.

Just gotta be pretty knowledgeable to know what they were talking about..otherwise you wouldn't know how funny it actually is! :)

Olivia Kroth said...

"Louis Pastuer discovered a cure for rabbis" - this is not about analphabetism, Jan?

These kids know the letters of the alphabet, but they do not know how to place them correctly to make sense.

The "un"-knowledge is bottomless, without fathom, as Shakespeare would say.

By the way, some German students of mine spell his name "Shakesbier", a new sort of beer.

Jan said...

Olivia..when I said that it was not about that, I meant that the article, itself, was not posted to point out analphabetism but was intended only as a bit of humor.

Anonymous said...

And in the great spirit of Murphy's Law, if these keep being passed around, guess what the archeologists are going to dig up in the far future as evidence of our ancient civilization?

I first read these on joke sheets back in the 80's. You know, the kind you passed around before the internet...


Jan said...

TheSev..yes, I know they've been around for a long time, but I doubt that things have changed much,and there are a lot worse things being passed around.

Thanks for your comment.

Anonymous said...
