Low sexual desire

Low sexual desire in long term relationships is a common sexual difficulty.  There are many possible risk factors for losing sexual desire. Stress of all kinds is always a big factor in diminishing sexual appetite.  When feel distracted or exhausted sometimes the last thing we feel like is being intimate with a partner. 

It is important to understand that going through periods of low sexual desire is part of life. Sometimes these periods can last for a few years.  Concerns around low sexual desire usually emerge in relationships when someone  feels frustrated or rejected.   Usually couples manage this familiar dynamic and ride out the waves of sexual ups and downs.  If the issue of desire remains irreconcilable it can create unmanageable stress in the relationship.  

Our thoughts and feelings profoundly impact our sexual function and desires.  It is not always as simple as learning new sex techniques, improving communication, or prioritising time slots. Relationships are complex and desire needs to be explored within the context of each relationship, our developmental years, and the broader social context in which we live.

Sex therapy can help people struggling with low sexual desire


Social influences also impact our personal perceptions of desire and whether we can give ourselves permission to be desirous. Negative messages around sexuality have been part of society for centuries.   Sexual desire has been traditionally perceived as sinful - something to be harnessed or repressed     Many people unconsciously, or consciously, absorb these messages and experience a sense of shame or guilt in relation to feelings of desire.   Amongst genders there may also be judgments around desire.  Men may feel wronged if they do not have enough a strong sexual desire, whereas women have been traditionally frowned about for being too sexually driven.

Given the importance of sexual desire in relationships, sex therapists are dedicated to working with individuals and couples to overcome interpersonal challenges and to create a mutually pleasurable and fulfilling sex life.   A healthy sex life not only enhances the quality of relationships,  it also has a positive effect on  health and wellbeing.   Sex therapy provides  individuals and couples the opportunity to explore sexual desires and concerns in the presence of a warm, intuitive and skilled therapist.    With the right support the individuals can discover ways connect intimately with their partners, and create a mutually pleasurable sex life and loving relationships.