We are full of them, whether we realise it or not.  We say we have them, but more often than not they have us.  What is this thing I’m describing? 

They’re our Habits, and they drive our lives to the Nth degree, sometimes brilliantly, but many times not so and root us in a quagmire that can rule us moment by moment.  They are our regular tendencies and practices.  They are often unconscious and automatic. Although they can be impacted and influenced by Motivation (made up of Intention and Motion meaning to take action), they are more likely to drive Behaviour and Change than do Motivation by itself.

Habits are amazing when we are excited about learning something new and wonderful. They can enable us to cope with huge amounts of information, choices, decisions, goals and emotions.  Many of these habits are unconscious, directing behaviour like a conductor does an orchestra, but we are often unaware of this.  While good habits make it easier to achieve desired results without sapping our energy, undesirable habits make it difficult to achieve our wants, hopes and desires and will drain our inner resources.

Most of us do not worry too much about our habits unless and until they begin to create havoc and unhappiness in our lives.  At the start of a new year, you will hear words like “goals”, “motivation”, “resolutions” being spoken about like its going out of fashion.  It is a rare thing to hear others giving a platform to the idea of “Habits” and the role they play in keeping us stuck.  Yet again.  The emphasis is regularly placed on “willingness”,“motivation” and “resolutions”. 

It appears to be a little-known thing that “Willingness” and “Motivation” are states of mind which can embed a habit or not.  The fact that they are used to underpin a habit, means that the habit came first!  Indeed, Habits are known to change the structure of the brain and thereafter impact Behaviour. 

Willingness and Motivation alone are not known to impact brain structure, but Habits do. 

Repeated habits work like this; simply put, repeated actions cause your neurons to fire again and again, forming a stronger and strong neuronal circuit. Heard the term “Neurons that fire together, wire together”?   This comes from an evidence based theory called Hebbian theory, which showed that repeated actions created stronger neuron circuits, allowing us to do things on autopilot.

Now autopilot can be good, but only if these habits are not undesired ones.  The more a habit is performed, the stronger the neuronal circuits become.  Autopilot speeds up the transmission of signals, in effect making it easier and quicker for the habit to occur next time.  So, if you’re looking to embed new behaviours and release old ones, small changes in your Habits are a good place to start making changes so you experience the big changes you seek.


Want to learn more about how we can start making small changes to your habits? Book a free consultation call!







Here is a mini Inquiry practice on Poverty Mentality:

I feel about money this way:






Which laws are holding you hostage?


You love your sibling.  You want to be like her because she has everything you hoped your life would have but doesn’t.   She is happily married with four children, has a beautiful home with a white picket fence; the lot.  She is outgoing, gregarious and fun.  Your diary is full of making yourself available to your sibling.  She is able to live life fully because you make it so. You also resent the hell out of the situation.

Time to be yourself.  When you say that something has to change, you must know that it will have to begin with you.  Free will is the source from which your life stems.  What conversations are you having in order to bring about your life? Every ‘yes’ and every ‘no’ is a full sentence. It can either open a door or close it; it can create possibilities for conversations or limit them.  Siblings can add to or take away from your life, but only if you let them.  Resentment has its uses, but they are limited.  It informs us that where we are is possibly not where we want to be. 

“Yes”.  How many times have you said that word and not meant it?  How many times has it diminished your life, whilst you watched another’s circumstances flourish; because you said it!

“No”.  So many of us are afraid to say it!  So worried we won’t be liked after saying it.  But you know, the word can be a blessing onto our lives.  It is transparent in its intention.  How many times have we heard someone say “which part of “n” and “o” don’t you understand!  This full sentence of “No”, has the power to define, clarify, confirm and transform.  I’m not talking negotiable No’s here!

Maybe the next time you find yourself feeling resentful/living someone else’s life/wanting someone else’s life, try examining your ‘no’s’ and yesses.  It may help you to be fully yourself because you know that everyone else is taken.

I am aware that the earth’s tilt creates darker days  in certain parts of the world, however the sun is always shining.  Wherever we are in the world the sun is always shining.  

A healthy and positive mindset will determine how well you will do with less hours of sun; bearing in mind that the length of the day affects all of us. 

When exposed to the sun we produce less of a hormone called melatonin and so feel more awake and energetic.  When we have less sunlight some of us can be prone to a depression usually caused by lack of sunlight.

So how to create more melatonin during the dark winter months?

Here are some natural ways to boost your Melatonin production:-

  1. Increase exposure to natural sunlight 
  2. Go to bed at a reasonable time
  3. Reduce your exposure to artificial lights at night, especially from your laptop etc
  4. Eat Melatonin rich foods: Cherries, Corn, Asparagus, Tomatoes, Pomegranate, Olives, Grapes, Broccoli, Nuts ( Walnuts, peanuts, flaxseed, sunflower seeds).
  5. Deal with Stress –  Stress impacts Melatonin levels.  Melatonin levels helps to control sleep cycles.  More sleep, less stress; you get the picture.



How does meditation help? Meditation works with the pineal gland to create greater Melatonin concentration naturally!  Recent research (Massion et al, 1995, 2012) show meditators have higher melatonin levels than non meditators.

In the UK, the Medicines Control Agency banned the over the counter sale of melatonin after it decided that melatonin was “medicinal by function” and as such requires a drug licence. It has written to  all relevant suppliers, (mainly health food shops) ordering them to stop selling the product.  

However since your body can create it naturally, lets get at it!!