Science says the happiest couples have 13 characteristics

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Romantic relationships are challenging, rewarding, confusing, and exhilarating—sometimes all at the same time.


The answers aren't always clear, but when it comes to marital satisfaction, science has some interesting things to offer.

According to research, the happiest couples are those who:


1. Don't fight over text

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2. Don't have kids

Children are one of the most fulfilling parts of life. Unfortunately, they're hell on relationships. Numerous studies, including a 2014 survey of 5,000 people in long-term relationships, show that childless couples (married or unmarried) are happiest.

This isn't to say you can't be happy if you have kids—it's just to understand that it's normal to not feel happy sometimes. Many couples put pressure on themselves to feel perfectly fulfilled once they have what they've always wanted (a long-term partnership with children), but the reality of kids is that they're very stressful on relationships.


3. Have friends who stay married

If you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with, you're also just as married as them.

According to research out of Brown University, you're 75 percent more likely to get divorced if a friend or close relative has already done the deed. When it's someone one more degree of separation out (the friend of a friend), you're 33 percent more likely to get divorced.

Researchers had this to say on the ramifications of the results: "We suggest that attending to the health of one's friends' marriages might serve to support and enhance the durability of one's own relationship."


4. Fight at the beginning, then not a lot


Psychologists like Dr. Herb Goldberg suggest that our model for relationship is backwards—we tend to expect things to go smoothly at the beginning, and for problems (and conflicts) to arise later. In fact, Dr. Goldberg argues that couples should have "rough and ragged" beginnings where they work things out, and then look forward to a long and happy incline in the state of the relationship.

Research agrees: a Florida State study found that couples who are able to be openly angry in the beginning are happier long-term. According to lead researcher James McNulty, the "short-term discomfort of an angry but honest conversation" is healthy for the relationship over the long haul.






6. Know who does what when it comes to housework




7. Are gay, or straight and feminist

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In a recent study of 5,000 people, researchers found that gay couples are "happier and more positive" about their relationships than their heterosexual counterparts. Straight couples made less time for each other, and were less likely to share common interests and communicate well.






9. Are best friends



"What immediately intrigued me about the results was to rethink marriage as a whole," researcher John Helliwell said. "Maybe what is really important is friendship, and to never forget that in the push and pull of daily life."


10. And have a lot of friends in common

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In 2013, Facebook released a report that analyzed 1.3M of its users, looking at, among other things, relationships. The conclusion? Couples with overlapping social networks tended to be less likely to break up—especially when that closeness included "social dispersion," or the introduction of one person's sphere to the other, and vice versa.



11. Spend money in similar ways


A University of Michigan study corroborated this. Researchers found that both married and unmarried people tend to select their "money opposite"— and that this causes strife in the relationship. The happiest couples tend to spend money in a similar way, whether that is saving or indulging.


12. Have sex at least once a week


The study, entitled "Money, Sex, and Happiness: An Empirical Study" sampled 16,000 adult Americans. One of its main conclusions: "[S]exual activity enters strongly positively in happiness equations."


13. Celebrate each other's achievements

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Anyone who has been in a relationship can attest to this one, but now there's research to confirm it: A study in ;The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology showed that when couples celebrate their partner's accomplishments as if they were their own, they're more satisfied in the relationship.

"In good times and bad" includes the good times—something it can be easy to forget. And it's true; there's nothing quite so satisfying as having your partner be loudly and enthusiastically in your corner when you do well.

Joy, after all, multiplies with love.


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More: Inc. Relationship Couples Features