Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Avoiding Awkward Sentences Part 2

How did you do with those sentences? I'm sure you did great because they were pretty obvious. The trick will be to find the useless words, redundant words/passages, and confusing negative phrases in our own writing.

Here are the sentences and book answers...just in case. ;)
1. Actually, a basic and fundamental part of cooking is making sure you don't have the wrong ingredients. A fundamental part of cooking is making sure you have the right ingredients.




5. Various different people in our office were not against moving the water cooler to a location that would be less difficult for everyone to reach. Various people in our office were in favor of moving the water cooler to a location that would be easier for everyone to reach. (I actually changed some wording--Various people in our office were in favor of moving the water cooler to a more convenient location.)

6. One accidental mistake some beginning swimmers make is not remembering to kick. One mistake some beginning swimmers make is forgetting to kick. (This still felt weak and passive to me so I changed it a little more--Some beginning swimmers make the mistake of forgetting to kick. Still not a great sentence...)

Now, on to today's topic--Verbal Phrases (participles, gerunds, infinitives and appositives)
When I saw this section I pulled a Miley Cyrus, "book say what?!" *It's ok, I have a ten year old girl living in my house...* One of the people critiquing my query had a problem with how I started a sentence, but couldn't remember what the phrase was called. It was one of the above, but since I deleted it I can't pull it up to check which one.

I'm going to keep this as simple as possible. Verbal phrases can be very helpful in your writing when used correctly and with moderation. Below is another quote from Proofreading, Revising and Editing Skills, with my thoughts added in italics. I just can't keep my mouth shut...
Participles and Participle Phrases
Can you pick out the participle?
Ask yourself, what is the sentence about-->a tropical storm
What verbs do you see in the sentence-->form of develop and brought
Which verb is the acting verb-->brought  The storm brought rain and wind.
That leaves developing as our participle, with the words off the coast of Haiti as modifiers. The whole phrase gives more information--describes--about the subject or noun storm.


Gerunds and Gerund Phrases
A gerund is a verb ending in -ing and acts as a noun.
Running is a good way to stay in shape.


My brother enjoys skiiing at Crystal Mountain.

Infinitives and Infinitive Phrases

These are verbs composed of to plus the verb base. I know you've heard of split infinitives, that is when you put words between to and the verb. Everyone says that is bad, but I've never seen an explanation why. Is it because it is confusing.  
Fred tried to speak quickly.
What is the main verb-->tried. What did Fred try to do-->speak quickly

There must be a way to get past the road block.
What is the main verb-->be. The infinitive phrase completes the phrase must be a way. (This example was as clear as mud for me. I see it, but I'm not sure why. Could be the fact it is a passive voice sentence to begin with...)

Appositives and Appositive Phrases
So, not a verb! Sorry to throw it in, but it was one of those things I don't know that I ever heard in English class. 

My cousin Alejandro can play the piano.
The noun Alejandro identifies the  noun cousin. And according to this book, that has a name--appositive. :)


Participles act as adjectives to describe a noun.
Gerunds end in -ing and act as a noun.
Appositives are nouns or pronouns that identify or explain another noun.

Identify the italicized phrases.
2. The doctor will try to diagnose the illness.
3. Having scored the winning goal, Christopher celebrated.
4. Mr. Smith enjoys jogging to work.
6. I can't find my shoes, the ones with the red stripes.


1 comment:

  1. Your posts are always so informative. I read about writing skills and rules and... clearly I ignore most of them. I have good punctuation, though. That counts for something, right?

    I left you an award at my bloggity blog.


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