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How to Choose a Godparent

Three Methods:Finding a Godparent Based on Your ValuesChoosing a Godparent With Logistics in MindSeeking AdviceCommunity Q&A

Choosing a godparent for your child is an important decision, because the person you choose will be responsible for providing guidance and life lessons to your child. The person you choose as a godparent will have a significant role in your child's life. With the proper thought and research, you will be able to find the best choice of godparent for your child.

Finding a Godparent Based on Your Values

  1. 1
    Find someone with similar morals and ethics. Make a list of values that are important to you and choose someone whose values are similar to your own. This will provide your child with a consistent positive influence and moral compass that aligns with the core values you're trying to instill. These core values could include:[1]
    • Religious beliefs
    • Family values
    • Fundamental purpose of life
  2. 2
    Look for someone who teaches good life lessons. Part of being a godparent is to help guide the child through life. Find a person that you know who is a natural teacher, someone that can easily teach your child. Lessons might include everything from how to tie your shoes to how to deal with making mistakes.
    • Watch how your child interacts with potential godparents and note how they get along.
  3. 3
    Ask someone who is willing to be a guardian. A godparent can do more than just be a guiding figure in the child’s life. If you are worried about what would happen to your child after your death, find someone who is willing to legally become their godparent and guardian.[2]

Choosing a Godparent With Logistics in Mind

  1. 1
    Look within your family. Consider choosing a godparent from within your family, like a sibling or cousin. There could be a stronger bond between your child and the godparent if the two are from the same family. Also, the child will potentially see the godparent more regularly at family functions.
  2. 2
    Choose a godparent that is geographically close. It's important to choose a godparent that will get to see and interact with your child on a regular basis, because this will allow the godparent to provide leadership and guidance to your child. It will also help create a stronger relationship between the godparent and the child.[3]
  3. 3
    Select someone dependable. The godparent you choose should be someone with a relatively stable life and strong sense of personal responsibility that can be counted on to attend important functions like baptisms and graduations and to interact with the child often.[4]

Seeking Advice

  1. 1
    Talk with your spouse. The choice of a godparent is not yours alone. To begin the decision process, sit down with your significant other and talk through what you both want in a godparent and any people they may have in mind.
    • Make a list of potential godparents and discuss the reasons for selecting each person.
  2. 2
    Ask your clergy leader for advice. Discuss the selection of a godparent with your minister or clergy leader. The clergy leader will be able to help you determine what characteristics are most important in the godparent you choose.
  3. 3
    Find friends that have chosen godparents. This is a good way to get firsthand advice on how to choose a godparent. Ask the person to explain their thought process and what the deciding factors were when choosing a godparent for their child. Also compare what you’re looking for in a godparent to what they were looking for.

Community Q&A

Add New Question
  • Can the godparents be one person and not married just has sacraments?
    Catherine Valadez Lopez
    Childcare Center Director
    Catherine Valadez Lopes is a Childcare Center Director in New York. She received her M.S. in Elementary Education from CUNY Brooklyn College in 2010.
    This question is best for your local religious institution or representative, as different locations and religions would have differing requirements.
  • Can you have two sets of Godparents for one child?
    Catherine Valadez Lopez
    Childcare Center Director
  • Do both godparents have to be practicing Catholics?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Not necessarily. It depends on the strength of the parents' beliefs.
  • Is it wrong to have different godparents for two different kids?
    wikiHow Contributor
    No, it is not wrong.
  • Can my mom be a godparent?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Yes, parents can be godparents, although this is often considered a break from tradition.
  • Should a child be baptized before godparents are chosen, and should the chosen godparents have already been baptized?
    wikiHow Contributor
    The godparents need to be chosen before baptism; they're supposed to be at the baptism. On the day of the baptism, the godparents will each be given a candle to light for the child. It represents the lighted path they will accept as godparents for that child and agree to help him or her to walk on the good way of life. And yes, the godparents should already have been baptized.
  • Should a godmother and a godfather be married, or is it better to have them be from two separate families?
    wikiHow Contributor
    It's entirely up to you. They don't have to be married. In some families, Dad picks one godparent an Mom picks the other.
  • Dose age matter when it comes to godparents?
    wikiHow Contributor
    No, godparents can be any age.
  • Can my parents be the godparents of my child?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Yes. Most people wouldn't choose their parents because it's a bit redundant (they're already the child's grandparents and going to be a significant part of his/her life either way, whereas choosing someone who isn't quite as closely related can help create a close relationship that the child might not otherwise have), but there is no rule against it.
  • Can I just choose a godmother for my child, or do I need to select a godfather as well?
    wikiHow Contributor
    You can just choose a godmother if that's your preference.
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Unanswered Questions
  • Our priest asked members of the parish to sponsor children for baptism of a woman we barely know. This request did not come from the parent. Is this appropriate?
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    • Being a godparent can be a large responsibility for some. If you ask someone and they decline, make sure to have some other choices in mind.
    • If you cannot decide on an individual person then it is okay to choose a group of people to be the godparents. For example, a friend and their spouse.[5]
    • Don’t feel guilty if you do not choose a friend or family member that was set on being the godparent. This in an important decision and the choice should be made carefully to find the best person for your child.[6]

    Article Info

    In other languages:

    Español: escoger a unos padrinos buenos, Italiano: Scegliere un Padrino o una Madrina, Português: Escolher um Padrinho para Seu Filho, Deutsch: Einen Taufpaten auswählen, Русский: выбрать крестных родителей

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