How to Find Female Role Models

Co-authored by Paul Chernyak, LPC

Updated: March 29, 2019

A good role model can be of value to you no matter your age. Sometimes, however, it takes a little extra effort to find someone who is worthy of imitating. Look closely at your community and at great women across the ages to find the women who will truly inspire you to be your best self.[1]

Method One of Three:
Finding Role Models in Your Community

  1. 1
    Look to your immediate community. You may have teachers, family friends, or neighbors who you admire. Think of a few women for whom you feel a natural admiration, and look more closely at their accomplishments, their characters, and the way they relate to others.[2]
    • Make a list of admirable women you know. Write what it is you admire about each of them. This list could include women who influenced you in the past, such as while you were growing up.
  2. 2
    Consider traits you admire in your family members. It can be hard to idealize family members, because you know them too well. However, this can actually be a good thing—if you think someone is perfect, you'll never fully understand their character and the way they make choices. If you can see someone's struggles and flaws, you can also see how they compensate and overcome.
    • Find things you admire about every one of the women in your family. Ask older siblings, parents, and other family members for stories about these women.
    • Look to the women in your family who have accomplished things you admire, even if you don't want to be exactly like them.
  3. 3
    Find the women behind the work you admire. Look to political and religious organizations, local companies, and public works that you appreciate in your community. Whatever it is you are interested in—be it business, community organizing, art—there are people behind it, and many of those people are likely to be women.[3]
    • Go to the websites of local organizations you admire and read about the staff.
    • You can also consider the traits that you admire in certain women. It might not have anything to do with their professional accomplishments and more to do with their personal qualities, such as determination, intelligence, and assertiveness.
  4. 4
    Find a mentor. Asking strangers to mentor you may not work, but you'll find mentors by growing closer to people you admire and work with well. Position yourself so that you are close to women who you consider role models, and say "yes" to any opportunities they offer you.[4]
    • Contact an organization you admire to see if you can volunteer, get a job, or apply for an internship.
    • If you admire an artist, athlete, or other highly-skilled professional, ask if she gives classes.

Method Two of Three:
Emulating Great Personalities

  1. 1
    Look for hardworking innovators. When you read about the history of the work that interests you, you may see a long list of male names. The work of women has historically been oppressed, stolen, and absorbed into a male narrative—delve deeper to find the women who have contributed from the start.[5]
    • If you're interested in science, consider researching the life of Marie Curie, the first woman to win a Nobel Prize.
    • If you are an athlete, look to pioneering female athletes like Junko Tabei, first woman to climb Mount Everest, or Charlotte Cooper, the first woman to win an Olympic Gold medal.
    • If you are interested in politics, look to women like Benazir Bhutto, the first female prime minister of Pakistan, or Sandra Day O'Connor, the first female Supreme Court Justice of the United States.
  2. 2
    Consider humanitarian leaders. Women who fight for others are the drivers of positive social change. Consider the suffragettes: some, like Lydia Becker started influential committees, while others, like Emmeline Pankhurst, practiced civil disobedience and were frequently arrested for their direct actions. Women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, and Julia Ward Howe fought for voting rights for women in the United States, although they neglected to acknowledge the concerns of black women and men.[6]
    • Early black feminist heroine Sojourner Truth advocated for the rights of black women.
    • The founders of the Black Lives Matter movement are all women: Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi.
    • Consider female champions of economic justice: Mother Jones (Mary Harris Jones), Emma Goldman, Dolores Huerta, and Sylvia Federici.
  3. 3
    Celebrate women who have overcome adversity. Look to the brave women who have expanded the boundaries of what womanhood in their cultures. Many high-achieving people have been given every possible advantage, but others had to overcome serious obstacles to succeed. These women show fortitude and toughness that you may want to emulate. They are also uniquely positioned to inspire others who are oppressed.
    • Transgender women like Sylvia Rivera, Janet Mock, and Rita Hester brave the highest physical risk to express their genders and support other trans women.
    • Lesbian heroines include Gladys Bentley, Barbara Gittings, and Audre Lorde.[7]
    • Ida B. Wells fought against lynching and against racism with female suffrage, even when her white counterparts sought to discredit her.[8]
  4. 4
    Take inspiration from great artists. Taking an artist as a role model can be especially fruitful because so many artists leave a thorough public record of their thoughts and feelings. Read the books of great writers like Gertrude Stein, Virginia Woolf, George Eliot, Toni Morrison, Etel Adnan, or Claudia Rankine.
    • Admire the visual art of brilliant women like Kara Walker, Frida Kahlo, Agnes Martin, and Berenice Abbot.
    • Enjoy the music of admirable women like Beyoncé, Joanna Newsom, Chavela Vargas, and Dame Ethel Smyth.

Method Three of Three:
Following Your Heroine's Example

  1. 1
    Research your role model. Read biographies, watch documentaries, and study the works of your role model. Read interviews and essays about her as well. Study her greatest challenges and her greatest triumphs. Practice telling people what it is you admire about her—what she did, or is doing, to make her your role model.
    • Embrace the flaws and errors of your role model. All great women have said and done some unworthy things.
    • Think about those of her choices you disagree with and how you can avoid them in your own life. For instance, if she was a brilliant composer but gave up her career to make television commercials, you can make a pact with yourself to never sell out.
  2. 2
    Meet your role model. Get to know the woman you admire better. If she makes public appearances, attend her lectures or performances. Set up a meeting if she is within your social reach.
    • Write her and ask for an interview. Tell her exactly why you are her fan, and make a specific request. For instance, you might write, "I am inspired by the way you shut down corporate opposition to the new traffic lights. My aunt is deaf/blind and she benefits every day from the tactile vibration you fought so hard for. Could I interview you for my school newspaper some day next week?"
  3. 3
    Make a list of traits you admire in her. Is your heroine brave? Is she kind? Is she an exceptionally diligent worker? Is she an original thinker? Write down the character traits you perceive as being central to her character. Describe the ways her life shaped these traits, and the way these traits shaped her work.
    • Keep in mind that it is okay to be different from your role model. You do not have to share all of the same traits as her.
  4. 4
    Brainstorm ways to become more like her. Do you feel like you could be braver? Would you like to advance the cause your role model works on? List traits you could imagine emulating. Make a separate list of works you would like to do that cause you to admire this person. See if you can use these achievements to help you accomplish your own goals. Your path to success should be something that is right for you. Then, write a plan for following through.
    • For instance, you might write, "my aunt Maria is my role model because she is observant, funny, smart, and artistic. I can be more like her if I listen to others, pay more attention to my surroundings, and get up the nerve to make jokes in public."
    • If your role model is an accomplished heroine, you might write: "I would like to be more like Gertrude Stein, who wrote many artistically challenging books, volunteered with anti-fascist efforts in Europe, and had the courage to live openly with her female partner. To be more like her, I will continue to work on developing my own artistic style, I will volunteer with anti-fascist groups in my home town, and I will never pretend to be anyone I'm not."

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Licensed Professional Counselor
6 votes - 83%
Co-authors: 12
Updated: March 29, 2019
Views: 12,305

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