

In 1964, during the city's worst drought to date, Gold Medal Books published a paperback novel entitled "The Day New York Went Dry," by Charles Einstein. "It's 1967 in New York, and if you want a drink of water—get out of town," the cover copy read. "Don't wash your sidewalk. Don't wash your car. In fact, don't wash yourself. Why not? It's the law."



"There are many activities you can do personally to conserve water," he said, and went on to explain that there are three major water-shortage designations: drought watch, drought warning, and drought emergency. Currently, he said, we are in a drought warning, which means that, for example, when washing your car you must use a hose with a self-closing nozzle.

"What's a self-closing nozzle?" asked one of the attendees, an aspiring landlord named Vincent. He had the face of a bulldog. On the table in front of him was a plastic grocery bag holding some of his belongings.

"What's a self-closing nozzle? That's a good question," Gunthorpe said. He explained that it was a hose with a nozzle that shuts off the flow of water by itself.

"I never seen one," Vincent said.

"I'll send you one," Gunthorpe said. "In fact, we may send them out to people as a pet project."

"That's very interesting. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Most of Gunthorpe's lecture had to do with toilets, which he pronounced "tawlets." Vincent complained that he usually has to flush the toilet in his apartment twice. Gunthorpe said that, generally speaking, this was not good.

"What is the best toilet?" Vincent asked.

"I can't answer that," Gunthorpe said. "It's like asking, 'What's the best car?' There are hundreds of different low-consumption toilets."


"Literally hundreds, yeah."

"Wow. Thanks."

"People use their toilets for everything—as a receptacle for garbage, food," Gunthorpe said. "For example, you can't put rice in a toilet."

"Or grease."

"Grease. Exactly."


"Oh, really!" Vincent said. "I didn't know that."


"What will they think of next!" Vincent exclaimed, passing it along.

After some talk of showerheads, leaks ("Leaks are insidious"), and water audits, it was time for a break. Gunthorpe stepped outside and had a drink of water at the fountain. "It's good water," he said.


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