Bronze-level articleHydroplate theory

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Rescued from the

Global Flood

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Seven of the clean kind

Hydroplate theory is a creationist hypothesis that Earth once had huge chambers of water sandwiched between the earth's crust and its mantle. It was invented solely to explain the question "Where did the water for the great flood come from?" (The obvious answer, that a god capable of creating the universe in a single week can damn well conjure the requisite water out of thin air, was apparently not up for consideration.) It was first proposed in 1980 by Walter Brown (holder of a PhD in mechanical engineering[1]).

According to Brown, before the Flood, the Earth's crust floated on a thick layer of water, above the mantle. Walls and tendrils connected the mantle and crust, allowing the inner and outer reaches of the planet to rotate on its axis at the same speed.

But the fantasy does not stop there; according to this "theory" antediluvian Earth had one super-continent—similar in concept to, but not the same as, Pangaea—that covered about 75 percent of the surface. Oceans, if you could call them that, were really giant lakes (like the Sea of Galilee, the Red Sea, etc.). To maintain consistency they are obliged to argue that Earth's mountains rarely reached more than 5000 feet (1524 meters) above what was then sea level and the highest mountain was probably much lower than 9000 feet (2743 meters).


[edit] How the "Great Flood" occurred

When it came time to flood Earth, God cracked the crust, releasing the water (like a soft-boiled egg). These cracks formed underwater mountain ranges like the Mid-Atlantic Ridge. The subterranean water sprayed upward with such great force that it caused worldwide rainfall for 40 days and 40 nights (and made the comets, and anything else they don't understand). The water left its subterranean encasements so quickly that many land masses immediately began to sink. These rapidly sinking land masses uplifted other land masses, thus causing deep-sea fossils to appear at the tops of mountain peaks. (Creationists always point to "mountaintop fossils" as proof of the flood — naturally wanting to wish away the vast amount of evidence for slow-motion tectonic forces taking millions of years to raise mountains from the ocean floor.)

[edit] Results of the Flood

The proponents of this pseudoscience claim that many of the sunken land masses remain sunken today, forming the world's ocean floors. All of these sudden movements caused the super-continent to develop tectonic ridges and mountain ranges that run parallel to Earth's coastlines. These movements also created, in the eyes of creationists, an illusion that led scientists to develop the theory of Pangaea.

The ocean floors took less than six months to sink to their current depths. The flood waters then filled these troughs, creating the oceans and drying out the deluged land.

This theory is also being prepared as a pre-emptive strike against any living microbes that might be found on Mars or other parts of our solar system. Creationists are claiming that some mud might have gone flying out into space, and landed on another planet.

[edit] Biblical origins

This theory rests upon four meager verses of the Bible: Genesis 7:2-3 and Genesis 7:11-12. (No, seriously. This is the entire basis of the theory.)

Genesis 7:11-12

Genesis 7:2-3

[edit] See also

[edit] External links

Links to Creationist web pages that discuss this theory and other similar theories:

[edit] Footnotes

  1. Yes, another bit of anecdata in support of the Salem Hypothesis.
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