Are We Adults?

If you are reading this article you probably think you are an adult. You may very well be an adult, yet, the odds are you aren’t. Yes, most of us are walking around in adult bodies, but that doesn’t make us adults. Add to that the fact that it is very difficult to become an adult. The reason it is so difficult is that there are so few role models. For example, look at a list of world leaders and show me one person who is a real adult. Perhaps some of the lesser known leaders would qualify. If you actually are an adult then you have accomplished something incredible. You have somehow grown up in a world run by children. What is an adult?

An adult is a person who takes 100 % responsibility for his or her life and situation. That is, nothing is someone else’s fault. The words “It’s not fair.” do not occur to you. An adult takes responsibility for his or her emotions. In other words, no one else makes you feel the way you do. An adult is honest with his or her self. That is, no self deception, no pretending. You see people and situations as they are and find a way to respond to them.

Not long ago I realized that I had not fully made the transition to adulthood. I had attained a good level of emotional intelligence. I was keenly aware of my emotions and controlled them very well. Where I fell short was my lack of sensitivity to other’s emotions. I thought I was sensitive and even prided myself on my ability to “see” others. I thought of myself as mature. After all. In my work I often advised people on what to do and how to do it. I often facilitated process for various groups. I wrote and published three books. I gave lectures on personal responsibility, leadership, and spirituality. Yet I came to realize that I was not a 58 year old adult. I was more like a 15 year old with 43 years of experience.

Most 15 year olds are the center of their own universe. “Everything revolves around me.” Although I practiced unselfishness and often cared about others, my perspective was as a center of attention. As a center of attention, I expected people and situations to cater to me. I was often frustrated with other people. When someone told me something personal I related it to myself, rather than truly understanding them. As children we are all centers of attention. We expect the “adults” in our respective lives to provide for us, to give us what we need. I didn’t expect people to give me food or money, but I did expect people to meet my emotional needs.

My parents were not adults. And I have it on the authority of my “grown-up” son that I have not been an adult either. He is 35 and becoming an adult. He has never met a good role model–not his parents, none of his teachers at high school or university, no managers in the workplace, and in his field, which is Art, no artists that he has met. He had to figure it out on his own. Me too. Although, my son certainly has served as a catalyst for me.

Perhaps the most significant realization has been that my ego is a child. All egos are children. Anyone who is run by their ego cannot function as an adult. The ego is a center of attention. An adult is a center of influence. That is, as a center of influence you realize that your thoughts and emotions have a ripple effect. Everything that you think, feel, say, and do affects the people and the situations around you. This is a change in perspective from “How is everyone and everything affecting me?– to How is everyone and everything affected by me?” It is an understanding that life is not happening to me. I am creating it with my every thought, with my deeply embedded assumptions, and my beliefs. The meaning we perceive in people and things is the meaning we have assigned to them.

An adult questions assumptions–his or her own and everyone else’s assumptions too. In other words, as an adult you actually think, rather than parrot the thoughts of others. It is difficult to subscribe to a religion if you are an adult. If you do subscribe, you probably don’t subscribe to all of it. Everything that shows up in both your thoughts and in your life gets questioned: “Is it true?” If you are honest, you find that most of it isn’t. You find that most everything people hold to be true is being made up.

As you enter adulthood it seems to be a struggle at first. You are releasing cherished beliefs. You are letting go of your need for approval, for control over others, and your habit of accepting “truths” that just aren’t true. For example: “You can have whatever you want!” Many have spoken that “truth”, but it isn’t true. You can’t have whatever you want. This is why so many of us are frustrated after trying so many books and programs without success. As A Course in Miracles reads: ‘The ego’s rule is this: seek and do not find.”

You can have what you TRULY want. What do you truly want? What is really important to you? Don’t answer that question too quickly. Set aside your beliefs and your goals. Get real quiet, and ask the question. What do I want? Listen within. Keep asking if need be. given that we mostly identify with our egos, a good way to inquire may be: “Not my will, but Thy will be done.” Once your answers begin to flow, act on them. That’s the other trait of an adult; the ability to move forward courageously, to do what you feel called to do.

So, are you an adult or not? Be honest. If you are, you already know it. This article doesn’t really evoke any emotion for you. If you aren’t, then maybe it’s time to start growing up. It’s worth the effort. The reward is freedom and the power of 100 % responsibility. The reward is the joy you feel knowing that you cannot be anyone’s victim. You find that you need not participate in any more dramas or soap operas in life. And as you release your fears, worries, resentments and disappointments, that there is a stronger Voice within you that will guide you. Instead of hoping certain things will happen for you (as children do), you trust that Spirit (or whatever you want to call it) will guide you well. You will form intentions, and those intentions will bubble up from within you. You will sense a knowing that the path you intend is the right one. You will accept, but not judge, that most others are still children, and do your best to be helpful–to be the role model we so desperately need.

Motivating Adult Students – 3 Theories to Motivate Adult Students

Many theories exist in today’s educational world to help motivate adult students. Adult students cannot be taught, motivated, or assessed in the same ways that traditional students can be taught, motivated, or assessed. Adult learners need different strategies and theories to help motivate them to learn and do well in the classroom. The following is a breakdown of 3 theories to motivate adult students.

Theory Number One

Theory number one is that assignments must be relevant for adult students. Adult students must be able to see the purpose and relevance in an assignment. The purpose of any assignment for an adult learner must be clear to the adult learner, so he sees the importance in completing the assignment. The only way an adult learner will be motivated to complete an assignment is if the end result seems worthwhile to him. The end result of any assignment must be focused on what the learner expects to receive from the assignment. If a teacher of an adult learner understands why the adult learner is continuing his education, the teacher will be able to create relevant assignments to meet the adult student’s personal goals.

Theory Number Two

The second of the 3 theories to motivate adult students is keep class time and assignments short and as simple as possible. Adult students often have families at home to take care of, and often, they are responsible for children at home as well. Adult students are usually trying to hold down full-time jobs to support their families while continuing their educations. This means that school does not rank first in their priority lists. While adult students want to learn and get higher educations, they often have little time to spend in doing so. This means that the teacher of adult students must teach, get his point across, and assign work in a timely manner. Teachers of adult students must keep in mind how much time their adult students will actually have to sit in the classroom, complete their assignments, or study for tests.

Theory Number Three

The third of the 3 theories to motivate adult students is to help adult learners see the big picture. Adult learners have gone back to school for a purpose. In order to be motivated, adult learners must be able to see how the education they are getting is useful to them in the long run. These students can be motivated if the teacher will take the time to show them how more education can help them in the future. Motivating factors for adult learners often include such things as finding better jobs or careers or earning more money down the road.

When put into practice, these three theories can help motivate adult learners. Adult learners need to see the purpose in their assignments. They need shortened assignments catered to their very busy lifestyles. Adult students need to know the end results of their higher education: better jobs and better pay. Motivating adult learners will pay off in the long run as they complete their higher degrees.

How Does Adult Education Works



