In over their heads

When it comes to paying for college, parents often justify their actions with the phrase "...and I turned out fine."

"I had to pay my whole way, and I turned out fine." Or: "My parents didn't make me work through college, and I turned out fine."

If they took out a lot of student loans, that's what they expect their own children to do. If their folks paid for their education, that's what they expect to do for their own children.

There are exceptions, of course. Some parents grew up poor, never attending college, yet are determined to finance their children's education. Then there is the reverse: The parents whose own educations were paid for, but who now either don't have the money or balk at spending it.

But mostly, I've noticed, people replicate their own experience when calculating how many barrels of cash they feel they should hand over to the Bursar's Office.

Times have changed. The cost of college has risen at a far brisker pace than inflation, so whatever Mom or Dad paid back in 1970-something is irrelevant.

Our reporter Ana Alaya recently wrote about new graduates who have massive college-loan debts of $80,000 or $90,000. There is no way they can continue making the payments on entry-level salaries. The only path, truly, is bankruptcy, and the sooner the better. At 24. It's heartbreaking.

Tsk-tsk if you feel you must, but there is something wrong with a system that allows people so young and financially ignorant to take on a life-changing amount of debt.

You can also say that some adult should have given them better advice, but who? High school guidance counselors don't want to pry into family finances, and the colleges themselves don't want to tell kids they simply can't afford to go there.

That leaves the parents. But if the parents never attended college themselves, they may find the whole financial-aid world too confusing to help. That renders the student a naked little lamb sent to the slaughter.

Even as they work hard and study hard, they're already in over their heads, their futures weighed down by high-interest loans.

(Hmmm...sounds a lot like the subprime loan mess, doesn't it?)

Here are two tools to avoid that fate:

- The SLOPE calculator (student loans over projected earnings) tells a kid what's a reasonable amount to borrow given her choice of careers. Click on accountant or jazz musician, and see what monthly loan repayment that salary can support.

Just Google "SLOPE calculator" (or click here) and you'll find it on a bunch of college Web sites. It's free.

- The other reality check is for parents. If you had loans, paid them off and now see that as a character-building tool your children should experience, make sure you factor in rising tuition.

Here's an easy way: Go to an inflation calculator, select your graduation year and the amount you owed. With one click you'll have the comparable amount for your kid. You paid off X with no trouble? Then they should be able to handle Y.

Trust me, you'll be shocked. Our concept of what is a "normal" level of student debt has quietly crept up over the years. The amount you paid off "back in the day" is probably nothing compared to the bills kids end up with today. Character-building? Hardly.