Mind/Body: The ultimate power

The most powerful healing energy in the universe is forgiveness because it is the hardest of actions to take. The one who benefits is the one who gives it.

Forgiveness is being studied academically and scientifically. The origin of this research is based on the detrimental health effects of chronic resentment. People who have unresolved anger are prone to depression, migraine headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia and heart disease.

One institution that is pioneering the scientific research of forgiveness is Stanford University. It has a formal curriculum titled, The Stanford Forgiveness Project. One study from this program focused on the chronic resentment between Irish Catholics and Irish Protestants in Ireland.

By using forgiveness techniques, the participants in the study demonstrated improved health parameters. They reduced blood pressure, depression, cardiac function and overall stress levels. Forgiveness healed their hearts, literally.

The research from the Stanford Forgiveness Project advocates a nine-step process for forgiveness.

Step one: Write out your feelings about what has hurt you. Are you sad, angry, or in shock? Once you identify the feeling, the instructions are to tell a trusted person how you are feeling. This step allows the identification of the primary emotional upset.

Step two: Do some activity that changes your negative emotion. Make yourself feel better. The key words here are to make yourself feel better. No one can do it for you. You have to take the incentive to do something you love, some activity that brings you joy. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.

Step three: Realize the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness does not mean an apology. For instance, you can forgive someone who has already passed. An apology in this situation does not apply.

Step four: Stay in the present. Recognize that suffering is from negative emotions programmed from past events. When we are hurt, we are reliving the events of the past through our emotions. It is the negative emotions that bring on the memories. If we can let go, the painful thoughts can disappear.

Step five: Apply a stress-reduction technique when you experience adverse emotions. For example, the moment you become triggered into upset, begin deep abdominal breathing. This allows the stress response to be alleviated.

Step six: Give up your expectations of other people. Unfulfilled expectations lead to disappointment. Understand that no one is going to be a certain way because you expect them to. Don't expect other people to act or do what you want. If you think something is important to do, then you should be the one who does it. People will never conform to your expectations, so don't pressure them.

Step seven: Admit that old ways have not helped you and you need to look for a new way. Open your mind to new ways of thinking and relating to the world. Explore all your options for coping with the situation.

Step eight: Realize that a life well lived is the best antidote for resentment. In other words, don't let the past experience have power over your choice to live your life to its fullest potential. Have power over negative emotions. Look for things to be grateful for. Spend time in nature. Smile at everyone you meet. Adopt a pet. Watch a funny movie. The choices are endless and the choice is yours.

Step nine: Understand that forgiveness takes courage. You are making a heroic choice to rise above past upset and to live your life from a new perspective. Take a moment to acknowledge your willingness to do what must be done for you to heal.

In all of mankind's history the truest words ever spoken were by Jesus who said, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do."

We can all aspire to have the courage to say these words. The choice to forgive is yours, on earth, as it is in heaven.

Matthew McQuaid, DPM is a board-certified foot surgeon practicing in Lakeport. He is interested in mind/body medicine and its impact on healing. He is an author and teacher. For information call 263-3727 or visit www.drmcquaid.com.