search kidspot parenting

Kidspot Parenting

A vagina by any other name ... nicknames for your girl bits

Bek Day

It’s been a linguistic stumbling block since Eve first covered hers up with a fig leaf … just how do we describe the female genitalia? Bek Day looks at some of the more colourful euphemisms that have appeared over the years.

As you can imagine, working on a parenting website with a predominately female staff, the subject of the female anatomy comes up quite a bit.

Whether we’re talking about cakes that are decorated to look like a baby being born, the weird and wonderful symptoms of early pregnancy or what not to say to a woman during labour, you can bet that the vagina is front and centre (no pun intended) of the conversation.

As such, I’ve been privvy to some pretty colourful euphemisms for the female genitalia. From a parenting perspective, you can see how finding a name to help little girls identify what’s going on down there can be problematic. For a boy, insisting on the correct anatomical name for his penis is no big deal. But for a girl, calling it her ‘vagina’ is not always going to be correct. In fact, little girls predominantly want a word for the external business - in which case vagina is incorrect, but there aren’t many little girls running around calling it a ‘vulva’ - nor many adults, for that matter.

And so, the euphemisms. There are many. Some gross. Some creepy. Some not having even the vaguest thing to do with female genitalia. In case you’re looking for a catch-all phrase for your little ones to use, we’ve compiled an extensive, but by no means exhaustive, list of the names we use to refer to our lady bits.

Names gone by …


The days of yore brought with them some incredibly obscure words and phrases to describe a lady’s undercarriage. The following examples are taken from a list of Georgian Age euphemisms that also provides helpful explanations for some of the more confusing phrases.

1. Bottomless pit

I’m guessing this was to make men who were less well-endowed feel better about themselves.

2. Burning shame

“OK kids, you’ve got five more minutes in the bath. Matthew, make sure you wash your willy, and Penny, give your burning shame a good clean.” Hmmm. Not gonna fly.

3. Carvel’s ring

According to legend: “Hans Carvel, a jealous old doctor, being in bed with his wife, dreamed that the devil gave him a ring, which, so long as he had it on his finger, would prevent his being made a cuckold. Waking he found he had got his finger the Lord knows where.”

4. Crinkum Crankum

A crinkum crankum was initially a colourful way to explain something that was intricate or elaborate, with lots of twists and turns. According to World Wide Words, it then also became crude slang for “a woman’s commodity: the private parts of a modest woman, and the public parts of a prostitute.”

5. Difference

This one isn’t from the Georgian era, but it’s still old-fashioned. “My gran called it her ‘difference’,” explains one Kidspot staffer. “Once she was heard calling out to my sister who was walking along a fence, ‘Come off of there – you’ll split your difference!'”

Aussie slang


In a country where using slang is almost as vital as using sunscreen, of course we’ve come up with a few corkers for our bits.

6. Minge

Pronounced to rhyme with ‘binge’, minge is popular in Australia, New Zealand and the UK.

7. Map of Tassie

It’s a geography lesson and a slang phrase all in one. Superb.

8. Front bum

Ew. Just ew.

Cutesy and ladylike


A ladylike lady needs a pretty name for her bits, no?

9. Mini, fufu or lala

All very cute - also great if you’re looking for a name for your new Maltese terrier.

10. Wick-wack

This sounds like something you would make out of wood on school camp.

11. Fairy cake

And all of a sudden, every birthday party I had up until the age of nine takes on a dirtier connotation.

12. Cookie or muffin

What is it with baked goods being synonymous with private parts?

13. Lady garden

This one has had something of a revival of late, and is rather fun to say, albeit in an ironic, faux-Victorian tone.

Rhyme or abbreviations

For whatever reason, the word ‘vagina’ still trips up even the most cunning linguists. It’s as though they start to say it and then chicken out at the last minute, which is where we get a whole lot of colourful alternatives.

14. Vajayjay

This I like. It kind of sounds like your vagina is part of a hip-hop due. “Introducing MC Vulva on the mic and Vajayjay on the ones and twos!”

15. Vajutz

Looks and sounds a little Yiddish, but is best said with the air of an Italian mobster slapping his sidekick around the head. “Eh! You stoopid vajutz!”

16. Giney

Sounds like the name of a girl you might encounter at a posh English boarding school. Which means, like ‘Fanny’, it is actually quite fitting.

If those aren’t enough for you, and you prefer a little fire and brimstone in the phrases you use to describe your bits, this guy has some truly amazing ideas …