Around this time of year, middle school students around the country go through the increasingly competitive and complex process of applying to private high schools. This process has become more and more like the college admissions process with essays, standardized tests, recommendation letters and interviews. So if you and your child are embarking on this journey, keep the tips below in mind to stay sane through the process.

• Do your research early. While the brand or reputation of a school is likely important to you, name alone should not build your college list. The most important thing you can do is talk to other parents and their kids. They can give you the inside scoop on what each school is really like.

And don't be afraid to ask the hard questions. What do you think about the teachers? Are the administrators and counselors supportive and available? What is the homework load like? How competitive of an atmosphere is fostered? Which extracurricular activities are encouraged? How difficult is it for a student to pursue his passions?

Talking to parents and kids who have gone through the school will give you a perspective no brochure or information session ever will.

• Attend the information sessions with a critical mind-set. I know sessions often can be overwhelmingly positive; after all, the schools are selling themselves to you. It's easy to walk out wanting nothing more than to get your child in, especially if you get blinded by the college admissions statistics the school shows. But look past the sell and ask yourself if this is really the right place for your child. Will it suit his personality and support his interests? Will it be academically too rigorous or not challenging enough? Choosing the right environment is more important than the school itself.

• Watch out for extra costs and commitments. Beyond tuition and supplies, many schools have additional costs that can make the overall experience prohibitive. Some schools require "donations." Many these days require students to purchase laptops or iPads. Others will want parents to participate at school functions multiple times a year, a feat that can be tough for working parents.

• Realize that admissions can be competitive. Just like you will a few years down the road when you are helping your child build a college list, make sure that you either include some schools that are not super competitive to get into and/or seriously consider your public school options. This is not a game of chance. You are not guaranteed admissions into one school because you apply to many. But if private school is your priority, make sure to diversify the list and make it well-balanced.

• Be honest. The application and interview are a chance for you and your child to show his strengths and passions to the schools. A more honest application will lead to a better overall fit. And being honest likely means that your application will be unique, a sought-after trait admissions officers look for as they read application after application.

The high school applications might feel like the center of your world right now, but keep it all in perspective. The school you choose should help your child grow and develop in many different ways, but it alone will not determine his future.
