Reference > Emily Post > Etiquette
Emily Post (1873–1960).  Etiquette.  1922.

Chapter VIII.
Words, Phrases and Pronunciation

  To liken Best Society to a fraternity, with the avoidance of certain seemingly unimportant words as the sign of recognition, is not a fantastic simile. People of the fashionable world invariably use certain expressions and instinctively avoid others; therefore when a stranger uses an “avoided” one he proclaims that he “does not belong,” exactly as a pretended Freemason proclaims himself an “outsider” by giving the wrong “grip”—or whatever it is by which Brother Masons recognize one another.   2
  People of position are people of position the world over—and by their speech are most readily known. Appearance on the other hand often passes muster. A “show-girl” may be lovely to look at as she stands in a seemingly unstudied position and in perfect clothes. But let her say “My Gawd!” or “Wouldn’t that jar you!” and where is her loveliness then?   3
I desire to purchase  I should like to buy
Make you acquainted with  (See Introductions)
Lovely food  Good food
Elegant home  Beautiful house—or place
A stylish dresser  She dresses well, or she wears lovely clothes
Attended  Went to
I trust I am not trespassing  I hope I am not in the way (unless trespassing on private property is actually meant)
Permit me to assist you  Let me help you
Brainy  Brilliant or clever
I presume  I suppose
Tendered him a banquet  Gave him a dinner
Converse  Talk
Partook of liquid refreshment  Had something to drink
Perform ablutions  Wash
A song entitled  Called (proper if used in legal sense)
I will ascertain  I will find out
Residence or mansion  House, or big house
In the home  In some one’s house or At home
Phone, photo, auto  Telephone, photograph, automobile
  “Tintinnabulary summons,” meaning bell, and “Bovine continuation,” meaning cow’s tail, are more amusing than offensive, but they illustrate the theory of bad style that is pretentious.  10
        “Pray, accept my thanks for the flattering ovation you have tendered me.”
        “Yes,” says the preposterous bride, “I am the recipient of many admired and highly prized gifts.”
        “Will you permit me to recall myself to you?”
  Speaking of bridesmaids as “pretty servitors,” “dispensing hospitality,” asking any one to “step this way.”  12
  Many other expressions are provincial and one who seeks purity of speech should, if possible, avoid them, but as “offenses” they are minor:
        Reckon, guess, calculate, or figure, meaning think.
        Allow, meaning agree.
        Folks, meaning family.
        Cute, meaning pretty or winsome.
        Well, I declare! ’Pon my word!
        Box party, meaning sitting in a box at the theater.
        Visiting with, meaning talking to.
  There are certain words which have been singled out and misused by the undiscriminating until their value is destroyed. Long ago “elegant” was turned from a word denoting the essence of refinement and beauty, into gaudy trumpery. “Refined” is on the verge. But the pariah of the language is culture! A word rarely used by those who truly possess it, but so constantly misused by those who understand nothing of its meaning, that it is becoming a synonym for vulgarity and imitation. To speak of the proper use of a finger bowl or the ability to introduce two people without a blunder as being “evidence of culture of the highest degree” is precisely as though evidence of highest education were claimed for who ever can do sums in addition, and read words of one syllable. Culture in its true meaning is widest possible education, plus especial refinement and taste.  14
        “In words, as fashions, the same rule will hold;
        Alike fantastic, if too new, or old:
        Be not the first by whom the new are tried,
        Nor yet the last to lay the old aside.”

  Traits of pronunciation which are typical of whole sections of the country, or accents inherited from European parents must not be confused with crude pronunciations that have their origin in illiteracy. A gentleman of Irish blood may have a brogue as rich as plum cake, or another’s accent be soft Southern or flat New England, or rolling Western; and to each of these the utterance of the others may sound too flat, too soft, too harsh, too refined, or drawled, or clipped short, but not uncultivated.
  To a New York ear, which ought to be fairly unbiased since the New York accent is a composite of all accents, English women chirrup and twitter. But the beautifully modulated, clear-clipped enunciation of a cultivated Englishman, one who can move his jaws and not swallow his words whole, comes as near to perfection in English as the diction of the Comédie Française comes to perfection in French.  19
  The Boston accent is very crisp and in places suggestive of the best English but the vowels are so curiously flattened that the speech has a saltless effect. There is no rhyming word as flat as the way they say “heart”—“haht.” And “bone” and “coat”—“bawn,” “cawt,” to rhyme with awe!  20
  Then South, there is too much salt—rather too much sugar. Every one’s mouth seems full of it, with “I” turned to “ah” and every staccato a drawl. But the voices are full of sweetness and music unknown north of the Potomac.  21
  The Pennsylvania burr is perhaps the mother of the Western one. It is strong enough to have mothered all the r’s in the wor-r-rld! Philadelphia’s “haow” and “caow” for “how” and “cow,” and “me” for “my” is quite as bad as the “water-r” and “thot” of the West.  22
  N’Yawk is supposed to say “yeh” and “Omurica” and “Toosdeh,” and “puddin’.” Probably five per cent. of it does, but as a whole it has no accent, since it is a composite of all in one.  23
  In best New York society there is perhaps a generally accepted pronunciation which seems chiefly an elimination of the accents of other sections. Probably that is what all people think of their own pronunciation. Or do they not know whether their inflection is right or wrong? Nothing should be simpler to determine. If they pronounce according to a standard dictionary, they are correct; if they don’t, they have an “accent” or are ignorant; it is for them to determine which. Such differences as between saying wash or wawsh, advertisement or advertisement are of small importance. But no one who makes the least pretence of being a person of education says: kep for kept, genelmun or gempmun or laydee, vawde-vil, or eye-talian.  24

