Don't let love be blind to adoption costs

Even with financial help, raising a child that is not your own is incredibly expensive, says Andrew Don

Adopting children is a labour of love and people do it of their own free will.

But not all of us have the disposable income of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman - and the expense can come as a shock.

My wife and I have a reasonable support package. We wish it was worth more but we have made a choice and we embrace our financial responsibility to our adopted children.

It is not until children come into your care that you appreciate the extent of their needs and the associated costs. The love bug has hooked you by this time and financial implications are not foremost in your mind.

It costs about £130,000 to raise a child, according to financial services company Liverpool Victoria. Anecdotal evidence suggests bringing up an adopted child costs a minimum of 50 per cent more. The figure can be sent into orbit if you are rearing children who have been abused or neglected.

Kath Smith, who finds parents for some of the most difficult-to-place children for Families That Last, a project of the Manchester-based After Adoption organisation, says there are lots of hidden costs and risks to income.

'Special-needs children will need ongoing therapy which may, or may not, be funded. They can be disruptive in the house.

'When you have birth children you childproof your house over time. When you adopt, you have to childproof immediately. General wear and tear increases 20-fold.'

She says some children do not feel worthy of having anything, so they break things because they do not believe they deserve to have them.

'Sometimes people buy lots of things because they are buying into the anxiety that they have to prove they are good parents.'

Most of these children come with emotional baggage and might have behavioural difficulties. Couples report extensive breakages, ripped wallpaper and soiled furniture.

Smith says clothes might need replacing more often because of a lack of self-pride. You might have to pay for extra educational help and legal bills can be incurred to enforce rights.

The addition of one or more older children might mean an extension or move to a larger house.

Often one of the parents has to stop work because the children need far more intensive one-to-one care than birth children, so family income takes a massive hit.

Intensive parenting takes its toll and it becomes necessary to take breaks. This requires specialist respite care which may, or may not, be state funded.

Felicity Collier, chief executive of the British Association for Adoption and Fostering (BAAF) says: 'In terms of preparation for adoption people try to explain this but they don't want to always hear it. They don't always understand the degree of difficulties some of these children have.'

Financial assistance in the form of an adoption allowance, which averages £50-£80 a week per child, is available but it is inconsistent across the county and not everyone gets it. It is mostly means-tested and many do not bother applying. Local authorities may give an allowance only if they are trying to place siblings together, for example.

However, support should now become more common and there should be a more standardised approach to means testing.

The Adoption and Children Act 2002 is being implemented in stages and should be fully in place by September 2005. It aims to create a framework to safeguard children and support adoptive families.

The Adoption Support Services Regulations 2003, the transitional provisions of which came in last October, moved towards a system of support services, one element of which is financial.

There is now an explicit duty on local authorities to provide more support to adoptive families and the regulations allow for greater flexibility and theoretically less national disparity. Consultation is taking place on updating these for next September.

Lump sums should be considered to secure the success of a placement, such as settling-in costs, home adaptations and cost of therapeutic treatment.

And foster carers who go on to adopt children will be considered for more than the usual adoption allowance where needed, to ease the transition for those who had previously received much higher fostering allowances.

Anecdotally, adopters complain means testing is difficult to understand and that many do not bother applying because they either believe, sometimes erroneously, that they will not qualify or they balk at the financial detail they have to provide.

Adopters adopt because they want to be parents. But financial pressures can mean one of the parents has to work longer hours.

I, for one, feel like a constantly dispensing cash machine at times, even with support in place.