Ask an Expert : Parents of Resilient Kids Avoid Doing These 4 Things

You may have heard of the term “strawberry generation” being used a lot. For the uninitiated, it refers to a generation of youths who “bruise easily”,  unable to withstand social pressure or work as hard as their parents’ generation.

In recent years, parents have been called out for raising a generation of entitled children, ill-equipped to cope with the harsh realities of the grown-up world.

There comes a time where we recognise that while we cannot shield our children from all the hardships of the world, the next best option is to guide them to face and overcome challenges head-on.


So, what does it mean to be resilient?

For the most part, resilient people have skills such as problem solving and regulating emotions which are needed to handle the unexpected downfalls and hardships in life.

While children may lack the ability to express their frustrations or fears, we as parents can teach them how to work through their problems through positive parenting.

There is no tried and tested formula to raise resilient children, but here are some “bad habits” parents of resilient kids avoid doing.


  1. They don’t allow their children to play the Blame Game

When faced with obstacles, it is definitely easier to blame external factors, people or situations.

Avoid introducing the victim mentality by teaching them to be accountable for their actions. Most importantly, ensure that

you are not guilty of playing the Blame Game yourself!

Remember, you are a reflection of how your child will handle the same situation in time to come.

In the words of author Charles R. Swindoll, “In life, 10% is what happens to you and 90% is how you react to it.

Raising a Resilient Kid at Kiddiwinkie

2. They don’t expect perfection all the time

As parents, wanting your child to do well in life is natural. However, expecting perfection might result in a backlash.

Help them understand that mistakes are part of the learning process, and to always do better than the previous time.

Share with them your own life experiences to teach them small bumps and hiccups in life are natural progression.

Most importantly, encourage them to be the best version of themselves, rather than simply competing with others.


Resilient 4


  3. They don’t make their children the centre of their universe

Giving your child more does not always lead to him being better off. Conversely, it might lead to the belief that the world

revolves around him, which can be a tough wake-up call in the future.
Rather than constantly giving in, help him to empathise with others and think about how he can give back to society.

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   4. They don’t let their kids constantly stay in their comfort zone

Research has shown that a child’s innate desire to learn motivates him to seek out new experiences, and ultimately lead to greater successes in life.

As such, their lessons in school should have interactive elements such as role play and discussions  involving them sharing

their opinions and ideas to everyday problems.

At home, constantly pique their interest by asking them open-ended questions which invites them to share their opinions.

Not only does this challenges their present ideas, but it also lets them know that their thoughts and opinions matter, and

have the power to make a change in the world.

After all, life is but a classroom where our children will grow up in.


About the Expert: Ms Xaviera Lim 



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