Quick Reference Guide to Different Types of Lesbians

Quick Reference Guide to Different Types of Lesbians

types of lesbians

There are many types of lesbians, what’s your lesbian style?

When asked, ” What kind of lesbian am I? , ” my answer is, “the kind that likes women.”  I get it. It is human nature to seek order and understanding through labels and classification systems. Interestingly, most of the descriptions of types of lesbians related to gender expression, not sexual orientation.

Although, how often do you hear someone ask a heterosexual woman, “What type of heterosexual are you?” Really, waht are the different types of heterosexuals? Hmmmmm….?


What kind of lesbian are you?


Butch Lesbians: A butch lesbian refers to women with a masculine gender presentation. 

Kiki lesbian: a lesbian with fiercely authentic self-expression (dress, behavior, attitude, beliefs, etc), despite (not in spite of), social norms and expectations. (Read how I am reclaiming this label in hopes of generating a positive stereotype for lesbians – this is the one I love the most).

Lipstick Lesbian / Femme Lesbian: This term refers to a lesbian who has a feminine gender presentation.

Soft Butch / Chapstick Lesbian / Androgynous:  These terms refer to lesbians with a more neutral gender presentation that is neither butch (particularly masculine) nor femme (particularly feminine).

Stem Lesbian (stud-fem): A Stem is a lesbian stud (see definition) who is feminine in their presentation. 

Stone-Butch: A transmasculine person or a lesbian with a masculine gender presentation who is interested in pleasing women sexual but does not desire sexual touch in return.

Stud: Stud is a term borrowed from the heterosexual community to indicate someone who has a way (sweet talk, win their affection, charm, etc.) with the ladies. Studs typically have a more masculine or butch gender presentation. 

Other Terms Used to Describe Types of Lesbians 

Baby-Dyke: a lesbian who has just come out is considered a “baby-dyke.”  Age is not relevant, it is about the length of time you have been out as a lesbian. 

Gold Star: Describes lesbians who have never had sex with a man.

Hasbian: Describe a lesbian who is now with men.

Lone Star:  Describes lesbians who have only had sex with one man. 

Lesbian Until Graduation (LUG): This refers to a woman who dates other women throughout college and after college is only with men or gets married to a man.

U-Haul Lesbians: This is a term used to describe a lesbian couple who moves in together quickly after starting to date. The joke goes like this, “What does a lesbian bring on a second date?” Answer:  “A U-Haul.”

Pillow Princess: Someone who prefers to receive sexual stimulation rather than give.

If you want to know how I really feel about labels, I wrote about it here. 

Got Questions?

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ABOUT Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.D.

