Notre Dame Louvre

Notre Dame Spire

In the hours after the fire that destroyed the roof of Paris’ Notre Dame Cathedral, French President Macron made a promise to rebuild the spire within five years. This ambitious timeline was met with the instant debate of whether the roof and spire would be modern or traditional. As the debate continues, here are some more unsolicited designs for the rebuilt spire:

Modest Proposals:

I.M. Pei Louvre

This was the first image that jumped into my head when I first heard ‘modern approach’. It’s a nod to Notre Dame’s neighbor to the west, the venerable Lourve Museum and its I.M. Pei designed Pyramid outside. It took a while for the French to come around to the modern twist, but its now an iconic structure in Paris. What if a new pyramid was built on the Notre Dame? Each side of the pyramid has three edges, which could represent the Holy Trilogy, right?

The next three proposals are all about the indignities of modern life and design.

The new Hudson Yards ‘Vessel’ sculpture is the most instagrammable thing this world has ever conceived. Putting it atop Notre Dame will make sure the Catholic Church is well represented in the social media world!

Ever get stuck in an airport during bad weather? Its amazing how a simple thunderstorm can become the biggest drama in anybody’s life ever. Angry, overstimulated and all too eager to share their pain with the world, people are the worst. Elevating slight inconvenience into tragedy is a modern day curse. Writing actual tragedy into a personal ethos is even worse. Everybody loves a tragedy, and nobody should ever forget! So in light of the sadness of Notre Dame’s fire, the Twin Towers can allow people to recall two tragedies.They also nicely mirror the Cathedral’s belltowers.

If you ever thought the Twin Towers were ugly buildings (and why would you not), imagine a series of building built by a aesthetically empty man devoid of intellectual thought. I don’t care if you’re a Republican, just admit Trump has some awful taste and horrible intellectual disabilities. Anyway, you’ve got nothing to fear on this one anyway, because France will end up paying for this proposal anyway.

The Winning Notre Dame Proposal:

It’ll be sad to see the symbol of America for over 100 years leave our shores, but it’s probably time. It’s not like the United States has any use for Lady Liberty anymore. So, we can send her back to France, and hope that it helps to uphold its own ideals. Liberté, égalité, fraternité indeed.