Positive Discipline Techniques: 3-Part Reminder and When…Then Rule

Aug 11, 2016


At Forty Carrots, our Parenting Educators regularly refer to the ‘Forty Carrots Toolbox’ when talking to parents about positive discipline techniques. It is no secret that young children can be unpredictable in their behavior! This makes it necessary for parents to arm themselves with some ‘tools’ to use when challenging moments arise. In addition to offering choices, the 3-part reminder and when-then rule are two other techniques found in the ‘toolbox’ that can be used to teach positive behavior. 

3-Part Reminder
If we tell a child “no” or “stop that” without being specific, it can be very confusing for him to know what kind of behavior we are actually looking for. It is important to explain why we have said no, as well as what behavior we would like to see instead. When used consistently, this method helps a child learn the rules and eventually stop himself before breaking them because he understands there are good reasons behind them.

Tell your child…

1. What he can’t do                                 (No throwing the ball in the house!)

2. Why he can’t do it                               (You could hurt someone or break something.)

3. What he can do instead                     (You may roll the ball on the floor.)

When-Then Rule
In situations where your child does not feel like doing what you want him to do, this is a great technique to use. When your child does what you need him to do, then he can do what he wants to do.  What your child gets to do should be something he usually does and likes. (When you have your shoes on, then we can play outside.)

With a little bit of practice, these techniques can become a natural way for you to gain your child’s cooperation while still allowing him to practice his independence.


PARENTING TIP: For discipline to be most effective, remember these ABC’s: acknowledge your child’s feelings, be clear in your expectations, and offer choices/consequences when necessary.

Tags: Discipline, Rules
Category: Parenting Topics