Patterns of manners develop within social groups. 
They are refined over time until they reflect a way of living that is relevant to the society. 

Over the last 50 years in the west, there has been a drive to break down old barriers. 
A “brave new world” of egalitarianism and equality has been created.
This is reflected by the modern form of manners, which tends to be based on political correctness. 
The problem is that political correctness changes depending on the prevailing politics. 
It also tends to be imposed on society, rather than reflecting society.  

In the drive to get rid of behaviours that were seen to be unsuitable for the 20/21st century (e.g. automatic deference to “higher classes”), we have eradicated a lot that made sense and gave life meaning. 
Is it right, or is it sexist, to hold a door open for a woman? 
Should a person be respected because they have been on “reality TV”?

The drive to modernise in the east has not destroyed the need for respect or traditional manners.  
In the east they understand more the value of tradition. 
Behaviour is measured and considered. 
Human interaction is valued, and respect is important. 

In the west we often act without thinking, or with the arrogant assumption that what we do is right, or best. 
The “free-and-easy” approach of the west is often at odds with the more traditional east. 

This is rarely a problem when eastern manners meet western society, as little value is placed on manners in the west. 
A show of good manners may be accepted with awkwardness, condescension or misplaced humour.  

However, problems can arise when western manners meet eastern society
The seemingly gross and unthinking behaviour can show a lack of subtlety and sensitivity. 
Although displeasure will rarely be shown, the westerner may be viewed with disapproval. 

This can be a problem if a westerner wants to get close to anything in the east. 
Why should something be shared if appreciation is not shown in an appropriate way? 

This is, of course, a simplification of the situation. 
Many people in the west have good manners, and are sensitive to the cultures of others. 

Written by Andy Urwin

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