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The Daily Mail reports that an Argentine man bought what he thought were two toy poodles only to later discover that they were really ferrets on steroids. As a public service to other would-be poodle buyers, Daily Mail helpfully posted the following guidelines for differentiating toy poodles from steroid ferrets.

  • Ferrets typically have brown, white or mixed fur and are around 51 cm in length - which includes a 13 cm tail.
  • Ferrets weigh around three pounds and have a lifespan of 7 to 10 years.
  • When happy, ferrets may perform a routine known as the weasel war dance - which is characterized by a series of hops and frenzied attempts to bump into things. This is often accompanied by a soft clucking noise called dooking. When upset ferrets make a hissing noise.
  • Toy poodles are known for their intelligence and are around 25 cm tall and weigh around nine pounds.
  • If a toy poodle exceeds 25 cm height, it cannot compete in any dog show as a toy poodle.
  • Toy poodle have long lifespans and have been known to live as long as 20-years.

So if your ferret isn't dancing or hissing, that could mean that it's really an anemic poodle? If your brand new toy poodle is too big to compete in dog shows as a toy poodle, can it compete as a ferret? About all that list says for sure is that if you just bought a "poodle", you can be absolutely sure it's not a ferret in about 11 years.

I suspect that whoever made that list doesn't really know much about either ferrets or poodles. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the best advice for differentiating ferrets and poodles is that if you aren't sure of the difference between the two, you shouldn't be trying to buy either one.

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To be continued...