See Dramatic Improvement in Your Eye Contact Skills

By: Jason Swanson

Is your eye contact aggressive, is it soft, is it inviting, do you love with your eyes? Eye contact is a very tricky art to master but vital to effective communication. How can you make it better?

Eye contact provides social information to the person you are listening to and talking to. Too much eye contact and you could be seen as aggressive, too little eye contact and you can be seen as having no interest in the person speaking. It is an often overlooked skill to have and an under utilised skill when communicating with people. You can see masters of eye contact in great sales persons, politicians, and good public speakers.

I realised the importance of eye contact when I was counseling people face to face. I noticed when I broke eye contact the person would stop speaking. When I maintained eye contact the person would continue talking knowing that I was interested in what they had to say.
Physiological signs of eye contact

Street traders know the importance of the eyes when using their selling skills to keep their potential buyers interested. When you are aroused or interested in an object your pupils will dilate and this is a big cue for salesmen all over the world.

Also when you are interested in someone sexually your pupils will dilate and you hold the person’s gaze a little longer than normal. When I was single I always knew when a girl was interested in me through her eyes, now that I am married if I get the same signs I discourage eye contact.
Every day conversation and eye contact

We will use eye contact every day of our lives so it makes sense to learn the best ways to use your eyes to your advantage.

Certain situations demand different uses of the eyes. For example if your are arguing it is seen as strong if you can hold your gaze. If you are deferring to someone it is better to lower your eyes, if you are loving someone it is good to stare into the pool of the eyes.
6 Ways to improve your eye contact skills

1. Talking to a group – When talking to a group of people it is great to have direct contact with your listeners. However you contact maintain eye contact with just one person as this will stop the other members of the group from listening. To get past this, focus on a different member of the group with every new sentence. This way you are talking to all of the group and keeping them all interested.

2. Talking to an individual – It is great to maintain eye contact when talking to a person however it can become a bit creepy and uncomfortable if you stare intensely at them. To combat this, break eye contact every 5 seconds or so. When breaking the eye contact don’t look down as this might indicate the ending of your part of the conversation. Instead, look up or to the side as if your are remembering something. Try it just now: don’t move your head, and think about the first time you started school. You will notice your eyes might move up or to the side as you try to remember this. So when your listener sees this they will think you are trying to remember something and keep on listening to you.

3. Listening to someone – When you are listening to someone it can be off putting for the talker if you stare at them too hard. The technique I use when I am counseling someone is to use what I call ‘The triangle’. This is when I look at one eye for about 5 seconds, look at the other eye for 5 seconds and then look at the mouth for 5 seconds and keep on rotating in this way. This technique coupled with other listening skills such as nodding, occasional agreement words such as ‘yes’, ‘Uh -huh’ ‘mm’ etc is a great way to keep the talker talking and to show them you are interested in what they are saying.

4. Arguing – Arguing with someone is a skill in itself and if you want to compete in an argument holding the gaze shows strength. If you look away when arguing with someone you have all but lost the argument. Obviously this depends on who you are arguing with but in general it is better to hold the gaze whilst you are making your point and also when you are listening to the other person. We have all come across the person who is great at arguing and making you feel small, you will notice that everyone who is like this try to stare you out. Stare back, it will surprise them, piss them off and put them off what they are trying to say. Staying silent and staring at someone who is trying to rile you is also an affective way to win an argument without saying a word.

5. Attracting someone – When you are trying to attract someone and show them you are interested you can talk and listen with your eyes. When a person you like is speaking use the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the appropriate places. If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes. Smiling when listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them, obviously don’t smile when they have just told you their pet died last night. You have to listen with your ears as well as listening with your eyes (yes I did mean listening with your eyes, you listen to someone’s body language with your eyes).

6. Loving someone – My wife and I often share a prolonged gaze into each others eyes and it is a very special thing to just stare without talking. My wife’s pupils will dilate and she can my pupils dilating. It creates a strong bond between us. To make your pupils dilate even more you can try this: as you are staring at your partner imagine yourself going inside their body and your two souls making love. You are trying to touch their very soul. This will release adrenalin and make your pupils dilate even more.

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The Law Of Increase: 3 Easy Steps To Harness Its Power

 By: Michael Lee

According to many experts in the field of manifestation and attraction, the law of increase states that whatever you’re grateful for – be it time, money or opportunities – you’ll get more of now and in the future.

Everything you appreciate manifests in more quantities as the universe itself expands every second.

The law of increase sounds pretty much like a fairy god mother come true, but how can you harness this power? Are there qualifications? Is there a ritual?

This article shows you 3 easy steps to unlock its potential.

Step 1: Start A Gratitude Journal

When you start a gratitude journal, you are exercising the law of increase appropriately. It might not be your cup of tea (you can’t even keep your receipts let alone a journal); but if you want to harness this power, then you’ll have to start here.

It’s not all that difficult. And to be quite frank, it’s actually very empowering. Every statement that says you’re grateful for something changes you and makes you a happier person. Each entry raises your vibrational level, where you now complement those vibrations that the universe is at, making your dreams more achievable.

Step 2: Respond To Your Feelings

The more grateful you are, the more you’ll feel the stirrings of the universe inside you. You know what I mean. When you’re happy and grateful for whatever it is you have achieved, you get a strange sensation starting from the pit of your stomach (or for others, right inside their chest).

Follow these feelings and allow yourself to connect with the universe. Some say they feel tingling along their arms and fingers. Respond to the vibrations that your body is manifesting and wait for more blessings to come down to you.

Step 3: Visualize

Visualization is also a good way to harness the law of increase. Visualize the things you’re grateful for and the things you want to have more of.

Feel the vibrations humming inside your body. Believe the visions that you are supplying the universe with and wait for it to respond in kind.

Whatever you push out to the universe will be given back to you. So if you’re always grateful for getting positive attention from your boss, then expect to have more of that in the future.

When it comes to the law of increase, nothing is impossible. The universe itself is telling you this, so you have no reason to hold yourself back.

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How to Bring New Innovation to Your Life

 By: Jenny Styles

The ‘power of innovation’ is a phrase that sounds like a corporate tactic or slogan, a secret talent worthy of only the rich and powerful. Actually, the power of innovation is an innate quality that we all possess. If you tend to marvel at the creativity of others, you may be surprised that you can create and innovate too. Everyone is born with creativity. Just watch a group of preschoolers with a box of crayons. The potential isn’t limited to a chosen few; it’s shared by all.

Think of how long it took to learn to ride a bike, drive a car, or learn to stop making the same mistakes. Discover your natural innovation can take the same amount of practice. Innovation is a mind function that needs to be called, and can become lazy if it’s not nurtured. The purpose here is to share a few tips bring innovation into your life.

Don’t listen to what other people say, but follow the beat of your own drum. Letting other people have influence will only bring cacophony to the music you are trying to make. If you have an original idea, don’t waste your time and effort trying to make people understand. Their lack of understanding can spoil your creative spirit, and the help they offer will likely come in the form of negative feedback. Consider history’s greatest geniuses. If they had listened to their doubtful peers, we might still be living in the middle ages.

Spend time on your creative process. Give it as much attention as possible, but don’t quit your day job. It might take some time management slight of hand, but adjust your schedule to accommodate both your professional obligations and your creative endeavors.

Exercise. Walk around the block, ride a bike or jog a mile or two. When you send all those endorphins coursing through your veins, your brain will take notice. Exercising brings a clarity and sense of relaxation to your mind. It’s in this state that the best ideas can seem to come from nowhere.

Record your dreams. Sometimes, dreams bring thoughts that your conscious mind can barely comprehend. Vivid dreams are proof that you possess an untapped innovative power that needs to be let loose. Recording your dreams can creative the innovative spark that you need.

Find your style. Art lovers can always tell a Van Gogh from a Matisse. Literary critics can identify a story by Hemingway, just from the choice of words on the paper. You have your own unique style. People will appreciate your innovation more because it is uniquely yours, and no one else could have possibly known what you were thinking. Allow people to see your innovation and they will appreciate how valuable an asset you are.

Forget the gadgets and tools. You don’t need the most expensive set of paints to produce a masterpiece, or an expensive fountain pen or laptop computer to write the next bestseller. In fact, J.K. Rowling wrote the first book of the Harry Potter Series on bits of tissue. Expensive SLR cameras can’t help if you have no photographic skills. An artist who uses fewer tools relies more on their natural abilities, and learns what works and what doesn’t.

Without passion, tools of the trade are useless. To find your passion, think of the drive that wakes you up in the morning and keeps your flame burning bright all day. Sometimes those who work hard to obtain it can overshadow the people with natural talent. Consider the story of the tortoise and the hare. Ellen Degeneres once said that if you’re not doing something that you want to do, then you don’t really want to do it. Sometimes the drive you have to achieve can make you virtually unstoppable. That is your passion.

Inspiration can come out of nowhere, and it can also be hard to find. You can’t force inspiration. It hits when you least expect it, in unpredictable yet inevitable moments. Be prepared for those moments of inspiration. An idea can strike you on the subway, but if you don’t have a sheet of paper handy, you can miss out on the thought that can change the world. Avoid these creative disasters. Have a pen and paper within your arm’s reach at all times.

Innovation can be brought into your life, even if you believe that you haven’t a creative bone in your body. Keep in mind that you’re search for innovation is to satisfy your expectations and meet your goals, not anyone else’s. Soon enough, those around you will begin to notice your creative flair.

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Self-image – Boost Your Self-image in 5 Simple Steps

By: Andres Lara

Never voice an opinion of yourself that is less than spectacular. Any sentiment less than extraordinary or amazing about yourself, you must refrain from verbalizing it. Expressions become impressions. Every time you express views about yourself, those views become impressed, imprinted, inscribed… tattooed onto your self-image and onto others’ minds.

People usually repeat what they hear. So if they are going to hear something from you, about you, make it breathtaking. Make it…worth repeating. Remember this…your words are tattooists. Choose them carefully… for their scars can last a lifetime.

Here are some simple things you can do to make sure your words are painting a beautiful self-portrait.

1. Describe Yourself:Ask yourself “What has been the most empowering description of myself that I have ever heard?” Write it down and repeat it throughout the day. If you are not happy with it, make up a description of yourself that will empower you and repeat it frequently.

2. Powerful Words:Since you are carving your day and life with words why not be very selective on the words you use. Incorporate these words today in every interaction or thought you have: Wonderful, uplifted, invincible, courageous, passionate, loving, compassionate, astounding, determined, miraculous, committed, stupendous.

3. Develop a Habit: You have probably heard that it takes twenty-one days to develop a new habit. But have you ever consciously counted the days you tried to implement a new habit? Here is a good opportunity. For the next twenty-one days repeat frequently that powerful statement that describes you (tip number 1) and consciously make yourself use those powerful words (tip number two) in every interaction. Do this for twenty-one days and see how your life will change.

4. Think Before You Speak: You have the power to build or destroy, to make things, incidents, and people more beautiful than they are or uglier…you can create a masterpiece everywhere you go or a disaster. Your words give you a lot more power than you think. Next time you are going to express your opinion about something, someone, or even yourself think before you speak. Expressions become impressions.

5. Change Others’ Lives:It is not a miracle, it’s called imitation. We all do it. If you spend enough time with another person, you will eventually start resembling that person. Take a look at your spouse, siblings, or people you spend lots of time with. Chances are you use similar expressions, body movements, gestures and even words. So this means that you won’t only impact your life when you choose to use powerful words but also that of others that you care and love.

Affirm This Statement:
I vocalize only words that empower, invigorate, and compel the best to emerge. My words exhilarate.

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Four Essentials to Maintaining a Healthy Mind

 By: Omar Z. Phillips

Our Mind is one of our most precious possessions; it’s also a possession that is easy to take for granted.

Rarely as human beings do we take stock and hold inventory of our thoughts and perpetual mediations.

But this simple habit can mean the difference between a healthy productive mind, operating at optimum, a servant able to enable the manifestation of our destiny. Or a troubled storm torn vessel, unable to assist us is in the vicissitudes of life.

In this article I want to highlight four main elements I feel will be deeply useful to consider when we are endeavouring to corral our minds in the direction that will produce the most desired results.

To further lay emphasis on the opportunity we have before us, I would have you consider the fact that a healthy mind more often than not is fundamental to a healthy body. A healthy mind enables us to think creatively and circumstances will invariably bend to the upbeat attitude of a healthy mind.

A healthy mind will attract to it not only healthy circumstances, but also healthy company. It’s been said bad company corrupts good habits. I charge we should choose our thoughts as carefully as we choose our friends and vice versa.

Our thoughts will either take us to our desired destination, or plunge us to our dreaded fates. Our thoughts will ennoble us to feats of courage and determination or rob us of vital energy when life requires an extra push.

Lets look together at the four things that can greatly improve our thought life and enable our minds to maintain a healthy virile tone that will infuse all of life with purpose, meaning, worth and peace.


Let’s begin with attitude; it’s been said that in all of life’s happenings, the one thing we can choose is our attitude. A negative attitude is one of the surest ways to eschew destruction through our whole system, and destroy productive relations with our fellows. Even if we attract many other negative people to our pity party, the ensuing conversations will be so detrimental, we can be sure no positive thing can result. Likewise when we choose in the face of a negative appearing circumstance a positive response, the lessons in the circumstance are learnt, the pain quickly passes and we are ennobled, energised, invigorated. And by default those we come in contact with will reap the benefits.

Self Esteem:

A positive attitude is hard to maintain without a healthy self esteem. Self esteem is something so deep it affects our thoughts immensely. First please realise that who you are has tremendous value and worth. You may have been told otherwise all your life, and circumstances may have conspired together to compound this notion. But please stop and look into the mirror, tell yourself you love yourself, tell yourself you forgive yourself, tell yourself that you are the most valuable possession you have at your disposal, and invest in yourself. Allow you’re self to change all the destructive self loathing thoughts; they won’t help you or those around you. The moment you accept yourself and see your worth and invest in yourself the world will become a better place.


The next key thought I want to cover is our mediation, our constant mental fixations, what do we spend our time thinking about? Amidst the various pressures and circumstances life poses, beneath the surface can be a volcano of anxieties, concerns and misgivings. If we don’t discipline our minds and choose to maintain focus our lives can become bogged down in a mire of frustration from which we long to escape. It’s very important in life to have vision. Take time to really consider your aims, purpose and reasons for doing what you do. Allow the sometimes disorienting process of change to operate in your life; be prepared to jettison dead weights that are stifling your progress. Establish your destination, and as you press towards it maintain a healthy meditation on your focus. When anxieties arise meditate on your focus. When you go to bed and when you rise, meditate on your focus. And you will find your thoughts steering your mind which in turn will steer your course and you’ll make it.


And last but by no means least I hope this final thought will add the so needed Icing to the cake; Courage. We addressed anxiety which is a form of fear. Fearful thoughts seek to paralyse our best efforts and sabotage our endeavours. Whether it is a case of self doubt or the fear of people, apparently insurmountable obstacles or the great unknown. I encourage you to add courage to your arsenal of productive thoughts. Believe you can achieve and you will. Be brave enough to believe you have value despite naysayers. Press beyond the dead past and enter the yet unseen future, confident your going to make it, and life will bend to your faith.

Ultimately choose your attitude, recognise your intrinsic value. Take stock of your daily meditations and focus on your vision and purpose, and rise to life’s challenges beginning in your mind, with the courage of believing thoughts and hopeful expectations. And you’ll maintain a healthy mind that will serve you throughout your life.

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Hot Stone Therapy and Ayurveda are Effective for Toxin Release

By: Priyanka Tiwari

Ayurveda is effective treatment if the procedures are done with compassion. If you go for external snehana, it helps in making the impurities of the body soft and thereby making a release of the negative emotions that are stuck deep inside the body cells. The expert will do the massage strokes with proper focus on the terminal ends. By doing this, you will achieve the terminal clearance. Another form of Ayurvedic treatment is called shila abhyhanga. The meaning of this word in English is stone massaging. When you go for this type of heated massage, it is called thermotherapy.

This massage is quite effective for the external and internal rejuvenation and detoxification of spirit, mind and body. When you talk of shila abyhanga, it is related to the traditions of ancient healing in India. It is a quite effective treatment and will refresh you. You get such treatments at many places or in an Ayurvedic resort. The procedure begins like this. The stone is wrapped alongwith herb in moist warm cloth thus creating poultice. This is an effective treatment for the muscle and joint pain. Warm stones have to be flat in design. They are used with oils kept on the affected area for relief.

The panchkarma is considered an old Ayurvedic treatment. In the old India, the royalty used special diamond, emerald and ruby ashes for an effective panch karma treatment. When you talk of the stone healing, you are involving mother earth. The stones are called bones of earth. There are other healing techniques like reiki but by introducing the stone, you also add up the earth element also. This type of healing can be called as a good healing technique. You can get such therapeutic treatments in many centers of Ayurveda in Kerala.

When you talk of Ayurveda, it recognizes five directional flows in body. Stone healing is one of the most effective and it has power to activate the downward flow. Stones are the element of earth and they can connect grounding of earth.. When you talk of Ayurvedic treatment, it recognizes the terminal ends of body. These are ear, head, genitals, feet soles and hands. The meaning of the terminal clearance is the exit of the residues and toxins from these sources providing relief and rejuvenation to the body thereby a new and effective life.

By the squeezing strokes, the toxins are pushed in the direction of the terminal ends. Glide the stones in the direction of these exit points and you have to do this with firm pressure along muscles. When the terminal clearance procedure is done, the negative energy is converted into white golden light. You will really feel the exit and relaxation. Kerala is one of the famous places in Ayurveda. Many colleges of Ayurveda hold Kerala medical tour for the purpose of practical knowledge in this area too as it is considered as part of Ayurveda. Come to India for the purpose of Ayurvedic treatment and set yourself free.

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The Art of Self-healing

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 By: Jamie S Hanson

Your body and mind are natural healers, are you in touch with it? Do you know how to listen to your body and mind, or is the noise from so much fear, pharmaceutical and medical mambo jumbo blocking your ears? How do you get your intuition back?

When was the last time you went to a healing practitioner that talked with you, (not a questionnaire) asked how you were doing, is anything bothering you? Is there something you are afraid of? What are your hopes, dreams, where do you feel stuck, do you have some unresolved anger, resentment, despair, are you happy at this point in your life.

If you have a healing practitioner who spends some real time with you, consider your self one of the fortunate, most are on the clock, driven by capitalistic blue prints, controlled by ideas of ambition and success, which often has little to do with the Art of Healing.

Your healing is Art, inspiration, intuition, insight, spontaneity and dreams are equally powerful medicine, in fact may be the most important medicine you will receive during your process of gaining health and well being.

Have you taken responsibility for your problem? Oops I just said a dirty word, responsibility in our society often means, blame, guilt because you did something wrong, guilt because you are a bad person and brought this upon your self.

The word responsibility simply means the ability to respond, take action to heal the problem, become a part of the solution, and stop adding to the problem that takes self-honesty and insight, the willingness to dig for answers without being judgmental.

Self-questioning like, how am I aiding in creating this problem, this arthritis or whatever is going on. That was a question I asked myself when arthritis hit my feet. I realized I was scared to step out into the world, frightened of failure, scared to go broke. The reasons were multiple but all harbored around fear. So healing involved not just using creative visualization, foot message and acupuncture but also re-programming my subconscious having to do with self-confidence and my imaginings of doom. And yes I did heal the arthritis.

Taking responsibility means taking the reins of the horse you are riding and becoming the director not just a rider, the horse represents your personal power. The patient is always the healer the Dr, holistic health practitioner or shaman can often be and inspiration, hypnotist or catalyst but it is the person with the disease or problem that is the true healer, it comes from within you.

This is Art; good art is not just technique but even more so it is intuitive. What is your gut telling you, do you need a vacation, love, do you need to quit this job you hate, is your boss or spouse driving you crazy into stress and your not sleeping well. Do you need a mental enema from your head full of fear, pessimism and dread, are you generally afraid of life. What do you need to heal this problem besides a quick pill fix, which is often what many in the medical field prescribe? They are not trained to deal with the whole person only to treat symptoms and that is like spraying the city to get rid of mosquito’s and then treating the population for lung problems, you get the point.

Your healing could be the best thing that ever happened to you, depending not only on your attitude but also on what actions you take, what you learn from a problem can often revamp your life for the better, something that will last you your whole life time.

You are a body, mind and spirit, spirit meaning energy a force, fire, mind being awareness, intuitive, insight, body flesh organic feeling e-motive, and to further realize this is all one function.

Yes one, your flesh is spirit incarnate, your body is mind in action, movement involved in and organic process of being human. You are the earth walking, talking, thinking, and being aware of it-self in e-motive action.

In this state of oneness your thoughts feelings idea’s hopes dreams are as important as your chemistry, maybe more so since thoughts and idea’s create chemical changes.

The art of healing then is when you and I take into account the whole of our self and stop treating our self like a carved up cadaver.

This for most of us takes learning new things like meditation, Ti Chi, yoga, massage and sometimes giving up work we hate. We give up self-hate by learning to love and participate in the act of living as though we count for something as though the creator endowed us with more than just a mechanical mind and chemical body.

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90 Minute Jam Session

By Charles Fitzgerald Butler



The Busy Myth

Being busy is a myth. For instance, you Do Not have to get everything done. You don’t have to be “Busy”. Busyness is a form of laziness. As a matter of fact, busyness keeps you from working on your most valuable priorities. People wear busyness like a badge of honor. Don’t be Busy be Effective.

Insane Productivity

I learned how to be insanely productive from Darren Hardy’s, Insane Productivity Program. I invested in this program and within 90 days my productivity tripled. I became the leader in sales in the last quarter of 2017. I got more done in less time and also learned how to delegate, defer, and delete items from my daily routine.

In addition to becoming more effective in sales, I was able to eliminate social media distractions, stop interruptions, and free myself from “Multi-Tasking”. Furthermore, I was able to increase my skills in sales and marketing. The 90 Minute Jam session helped me focus on my Most Vital Priorities (MVPs) of the day. This technique was the breakthrough I needed to make it to the next level.

The Challenge

If you understand the Pomodoro Technique (working in intervals followed by short breaks). The 90 minute is derived from that. Here is the challenge. For the next 5 days, I challenge you to put the 90 Minute Jam Session to a test. Implement the steps below.

Your 90 Minute Jam Session

Step One: Pick Your Most Vital Priority (MVP)

Commit to spending at least 3 hours per day on your Most Vital Priority. You will break that down into 90-minute work intervals. Your MVP is the most important task you have on that day. For example, my MVP is closing sales. I focus my time on closing deals.

First, you don’t have 10 priorities. If you have more than three priorities then you have none. Pick your top three, then from that three, pick your number one. Remember this is the most important task of the day. This one task trumps everything else. Those who spend time on their most vital skills destroy their competition.

Athletes spend countless hours improving their craft. Entertainers are constantly practicing their fundamentals. They spend time on their MVPs.

“If you have more than 3 priorities then you don’t have any” – Jim Collins

Step Two: Schedule Your 90 Minute Jam Sessions

Schedule your Jam sessions. Write it down… make it happen. Also, get a timer. Set it for 90 minutes and get to work. Only work on one task for that 90 minutes. Do not multitask. Your mind can only do one cognitive function at a time.

Indeed you will get into a zone. At first, ninety minutes may seem like an eternity. You will look at the timer and only 20 minutes have passed. Keep going your focus will intensify and you will be amazed at how much work you can get done in that 90-minute session.

Step Three: Close The Windows

This is the most important key to your 90-minute Jam Session. You must Close The Windows at all cost. When you are in a zone and you get distracted studies show that it takes 25 minutes to get back into the zone. You just lost 25 minutes of productivity because of distractions.

Closing the windows means that you are fighting the Weapons of Mass Distractions:

  • 1. Phone Calls (Unless it’s your MVP)
  • 2. Text Messages
  • 3. Notifications
  • 4. Social Media
  • 5. Email
  • 6. TV
  • 7. Kids
  • 8. Co-workers
  • 9. Anything that distracts your from your MVP

Consequently, these WMD’s are so prevalent that people accept it as normal. Normal equals average and if you want to be average then stop reading this article.

When you enter your jam session. Turn your notifications off. Put a put “do not disturb sign” on your door. Only work with one or two tabs open with your computer. Do not check your email or social media. Let those around you know that this is your sacred time.


After your 90 minutes is complete. Take a break. Refresh. Disengage from your work. Go for a walk, jog, do push-ups, or go drink some water. Give your mind a break. Then hop back into focus mode.

Why It Works

When you focus on your MVP with a planned strategy you will become insanely productive. Furthermore, your bottom-line results will increase. Instead of doing 10 things good you can focus on the 1 to 3 vital functions that help you succeed. Again, I challenge you to try this for the next 5 days.

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Intuition Vs Fear: How to Recognize Your Intuition

By Matthew Engel 

Intuition can produce feelings, emotions, sounds, images, physical sensations, dreams, heightened awareness and distractions. Everyone has intuition. Sometimes it’s subtle and other times it’s quite pronounced or even startling. For people who haven’t had any training in how to work with their intuition, the experience of being intuitive can lead to empathic overload, fatigue, disillusionment, and confusion about what’s real, what’s being imagined, what’s being projected, what’s coming from a higher (wiser) place and what’s not. Listening to intuition can be just as disturbing as attempts to ignore it because the messages may seem emotionally loaded while also being cryptic or lacking any clear direction as to how to make use of that information – much less what higher purpose it’s serving or how to digest the emotional aspects of it.

By learning to recognize and work with your intuition effectively, you can create a greater feeling of purpose, direction, clarity, inner peace and spiritual connection in your life. Learning how to ground your sixth sense in the practical world is essential in navigating relationships, careers, financial decisions, life transitions, and personal growth.

The following 8 tips may help you to recognize the workings and value of your intuition and offer clarity about the difference between the fear-based mind and the intuitive, wise self:

  1. The purpose of your intuition is to guide you – not to scare you. Any fear-based response you have is coming from your mind – not your higher self.
  2. Cryptic messages are not necessarily warnings. They may just be an attempt from the universe to get your attention. Don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, take time to listen and engage (calmly) with the energy contained within those messages. Take some deep breaths and ask your higher self for clarity.
  3. If you find yourself stirred up by your intuitive downloads, stop what you’re doing and breath deeply again. Then ask your spiritual power why you’re picking up that information or energy and what you can do with it. Give yourself some time to receive an answer. It may not come to you immediately. It may take several days and calm space before another message presents itself. With practice, you can learn to dialogue with your intuition so that it becomes more useful to you.
  4. If you’re on empathic overload, ask yourself what emotional issues may be getting activated within yourself. What inner demons are unresolved? When you’re already stirred up (or in denial) about your own emotional process, it’s likely that you’ll over-identify with someone else’s pain. That leads to a merging of your pain and someone else’s and a situation that’s emotionally, psychically, and energetically murky.
  5. Do a reality check about whether your inner rescuer has been activated. Are you yearning to fix someone else? Is that your pattern? It is for a lot of empathic people as they have a tendency to try to save everyone else rather than working on themselves. Keep in mind that you’ll be less effective in helping anyone else if your own emotions and energy are stirred up.
  6. If you’re constantly on the go, your energy will race and you may be more likely to feel anxious. Giving yourself time-outs, time in nature, walks, hikes, swims, meditation, massage, quiet time at home and other self-care modalities will help to ground your energy and decrease your fear response.
  7. If your instincts are telling you something and you respond with an argumentative statements, you may be ignoring your own intuition.
  8. Keep a journal of the intuitive messages that you receive – even if you’re unsure of what they mean. Over time, you may find that the messages come together in a more coherent manner.

There are a number of books and courses to help you develop your intuition. It may seem frustrating at first. But if you commit to spending time several days each week settling into a calm inner space, asking for guidance from your higher self and simply allow yourself to be present with whatever images, words, sensations, feelings or sense of knowing that comes to you – free of judgement and scrutiny – you’ll be well on your way to developing your intuition.

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14 Ways to Reestablish Trust When Trust Is Broken By You Or Another

By Dr Kate Siner

Whether you are the person who has been hurt or you are the person who has broken trust, you very likely will want to do some repair work. Here are fourteen things that you can do to help rebuild trust with another person once it has been broken.

1. Take Responsibility: Regardless of which role you played in the situation, you are responsible for your own contributions to what has occurred. Take some time to be clear about what you did and what you did not do that may have lead to a situation where trust was broken.

2. Show Empathy: When we have hurt someone, it helps for them to see that we understand the pain that they are going through. When we have been hurt, some of us will expect ourselves to get over it quickly and others will tend to hold onto the pain. Either way, empathizing with our own experience is helpful to our process of healing. It is also helpful to show empathy when possible to the person that hurt us. This person usually hurt us because of his or her own pain.

3. Keep Promises and Agreement: If you have betrayed someone’s trust, their whole system is on red alert. More than likely they expect you to continue to hurt them. By only making promises and agreements you can keep – as well as making sure to keep them – you can start to rebuild trust.

4. Be Authentic: People can spot a phony, (and even if they go along, they do not really trust them). So if you have hurt someone, being real is the best way to rebuild trust. If you were the person hurt, being authentic might mean that you are truthful about your emotions and where you are in your healing process.

5. Expect and Support Emotional Reactions: When there has been a breach of trust, everyone wants it to go away. But, expecting it to be cleared with an, “I’m sorry,” is often overly optimistic. Emotions will come and go. The more that you can support the emotional healing of yourself, or the person you hurt, the more likely you are to reestablish trust.

6. Sincerely Apologize: Perhaps, this should be number one. Offering an apology is the first thing that you can do to begin the healing after trust has been broken. Just lip service will not do – you will need to understand how you hurt the other person and truly feel remorse for your actions.

7. Accept and Admit Your Faults: Regardless of which side of the coin you fall on, you have flaws. These flaws, while understandable, likely contributed to the situation at hand. Stating your flaws and saying what you are going to do differently is helpful in regaining trust.

8. Keep Your Head on Your Shoulders: Assess the situation at hand. If you have sincerely shown remorse and the other person is not able to forgive you even after doing your due diligence, (or the person who has hurt you has not altered his or her behavior to be safe), your best choice might be to cut ties. Rebuilding trust is important… but pay attention to when your time is better invested elsewhere.

9. Imagine Different Outcomes: So, you trusted and you got hurt. This does not mean every time that you trust you will get hurt. Learn what you can, and then look to the future. What kind of people do you want to relate to? How would you like them to show up to the relationship?

10. Listen to Your Intuition: Very often when someone betrays us, we had a sense that it was happening or even just a sense that something was not right. The more we hone our intuition the easier it is to make good decisions for ourselves in the future.

11. Forgive Yourself: We all make mistakes. Sometimes, there is a high price tag to pay for the type of mistake that we made – like loss of a relationship, or loss of trust with ourselves. Regardless of what you did or did not do, the best you can do is learn from it and make difference choices in the future.

12. Forgive the Other Person: Building off of forgiving yourself, the person that hurt you also is prone to making mistakes and bad choices. When you are ready, forgiving the person who hurt you can be one of the most liberating actions and can open you up to truly trust again.

13. Try Trusting Again: Seriously, get back on the horse. Perhaps one person broke your trust but how many other people did not? The odds are in your favor. Keep building with the people who have shown themselves to be worthy of your trust.

14. Make Yourself Happy: The happier we are, the healthier we are. The healthier we are the better decisions we make… and the faster we bounce back from our challenges. Taking care of yourself and doing what you love will help you feel courageous enough to trust again.

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