TOP? BOTTOM? VERSATILE? What are they?

Of course some of you may heard of a top, bottom, and a versatile. These sexual positions relates to the role of the heterosexual norm. The features that set the sexual positions apart are masculinity and femininity. In the straight community, we all know that men are masculine and the women are feminine. But with the assumption and misunderstanding in the gay community, gay men who are tops labeled to be masculine and those who are bottoms labeled to be feminine. Sometimes, this is not true. Depending on how gay men choose to live their lifestyle, the features of the sexual position can make it tricky for others to determine who is what. Three examples of this is a person who looks feminine can be a top, someone who looks masculine can be a bottom, and a versatile can look either masculine or feminine.

The gay populations don’t let their masculinity and femininity determine who they are because they encourage the knowledge that they are men and their sexuality doesn’t change who they are. This is an area which people misunderstand how it is in the gay lifestyle. Some think they just because one person has the masculine or feminine features that it’s required of that person to be a top or bottom. It doesn’t work like that in the homosexual lifestyle. The sexual positions, nine times out of ten, are one of the key factors or importance to a relationship. Gay tops are compatible with gay bottoms, tops with versatiles, and bottoms with versatiles. The only same sexual position that can be compatible with each other are versatiles because they can give each other pleasure and love sexually, emotionally, and intimately. Two tops and two bottoms are not compatible for relationships but are only compatible for friendships. The main purpose of this blog is to discuss and explain the nature and lifestyle of the gay male top, bottom, and versatile.


The term top is a gay man who portrays the role of a man in a relationship and gives pleasure in a sexual intercourse by being the “pitcher.” Tops are stereotyped mostly as masculine, thuggish (or boyish), jocks, hard, in control, “the man,”bold, up-front, “somebody to lust for,” the perfect boyfriend, stans, sports lovers, stylish, sexually attractive, promiscuous, athletic, and in-shape body figure. The downturn about a gay male top is they come in many shapes, forms, and personalities. This downturn also applies to gay male bottoms and versatiles.

Sometimes, you can’t judge gay men as tops just by their masculine features because they could possibly be bottoms, versatiles, vers tops, or vers bottoms. Every top is not going to be the ideal top you think he’s going to be or the one you always wanted. They’re going to be different tops regardless of how you look at them. He can be overly dressed, feminine like, boyish, fashion hippy, etc., he’s still a gay male top.

Their surrounding of friends, his gay male friends will be mostly tops and some versatile. They can make a possible friendship with a gay male bottom if they agree with the decision to not have feelings or do anything sexual with each other. Otherwise, they can also have straight female friends and maybe a couple of straight friends depending on how acceptable it is to the straight male. When it comes to a relationship, tops can be very caring, protective of their lover, and somewhat dominant. That’s why they are looked at as the man of a gay relationship. The struggle about being in a relationship with a gay male top is getting their trust, understanding their feelings, understand their thoughts, and communication. This pretty much makes the bottom think that they’re not trying hard enough to satisfy and meet the needs of their top lover. Tops are sometimes secretive about their feelings and outside of the relationship as well. But in order to keep a relationship going with a gay male top, communicate, communicate, and communicate. Bottoms must be as honest and open as they can because if they don’t, they could be experiencing signs of the top trying to distance themselves and give up on them.


Now that you understand what is a top, you should be able to easily catch on to what is a bottom. This sexual position or role is portrayed by gay men who have feminine characteristics or act as the woman in the gay community, in a relationship, or during a sexual intercourse. During a sexual intercourse, bottoms are the “catchers.” That means they take the penetrating of the top.

The stereotype for gay male bottoms are fashion hippies, talented, overly dressed, punks, business oriented, sissies, queens, girls, sexually attractive, emotional, loud, stans, confident, clean, promiscuous, fags, cunts, and messy. Sometimes, these stereotypes can be true but only half of them can be broken. About this sexual position, they surround themselves with mostly female friends and gay friends that are bottoms, versatiles, or a lesbian friend. They tend to have better friendships with female friends who are either straight or gay because either they feel more comfortable being who they are around them, and communicate and understand each other physically and emotionally. But overall, most gay friendships barely work out. Most common reasons are either they were fake to them, keeping secrets or being to themselves, lies, drama, messy, or jealousy. Depending on who they surround themselves with, communication and time are the key factors they use to keep a friendship going.

In relationships, gay male bottoms are sometimes reserved, caregivers, supportive, and the wifey type. Their main focus in the relationship is to make their lover happy and trying to do whatever it takes not to lose them. The problem they have with relationships is trust, faith, cheating, and other curious thoughts about their lovers. Otherwise, if they feel that they’re unhappy, they might have a talk with a close friend for their point of view, serious talk with their lover to work it out, or else, lose interest and move on. Gay male bottoms takes their relationships and friendships seriously. The reason is that it’s their support system and how they revolve in life. They are like horns of a goat and have set standards.


Well, there really isn’t much to say about versatiles because they are both top and bottom. Also, they can pick and choose what they can do depending on their partner or lover during a relationship and sexual intercourse. Another thing about the versatile position is that there are two types of versatiles: versatile tops and versatile bottoms. A versatile top is a gay male who is versatile but prefers to be mostly a top over being versatile for a relationship and sexual intercourse. A versatile bottom is a gay male who is versatile but prefers to be a bottom over being versatile for a relationship and sexual intercourse. Bisexual and masculine men are most commonly versatiles. It’s kind of hard to figure out a gay male versatile at times because you never what role he wants to portray. It’s also difficult for versatiles to be in a relationship with a top or bottom. It leaves the top or bottom curious and worried about them when they’re not around. Therefore, only two versatiles are better off the acceptable same-sex positions to be in a relationship with each other.


Now that you have an understanding of what is a top, bottom, and versatile, you have a great overview of the gay lifestyle and how it is. Our relationships are mostly known to last longer, friendships tend to be up and down but stay together in the end, and the lifestyle is comparable with the heterosexual norm. Only difference with the gay lifestyle is the interest of the same gender.


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