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Moods Have An Important Bearing On The Relationships Within The Home

Updated on February 3, 2017

Master Your Moods



Moods are hard to define, but everybody experiences them. The Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines mood as the state of one’s feelings or mind at a particular time. They provide the setting for all conscious mental process. They influence thoughts and reactions. They give color, sometimes brilliant ones and sometimes dull ones to everything that happens. In order to be able to handle your moods, the first rule in a successful marriage is to be sure that you are grown up emotionally. Marriage is for the mature minds, not the infantile.

The fusion of two different personalities requires emotional balance and control on the part of each partner. Practically all cases of temper date from early childhood. Habits are formed more quickly when we are young, but if we have already passed the youthful flexible period it is now time to put our temper under control. Some had throughout childhood had indulged in their temper as a mean of coercing their parents into cooperating with them. They had frequently gotten their way by throwing tantrum whenever, their will was crossed.



Even in the same individual moods vary from elation to depression. Some people are elated more than they are depressed; others seem to be depressed most of the time. During the elation period one feels as if he were walking with spring in his steps. During elation you hold your chin up; see the humor in trivial occurrences and see the bright side of the more serious happenings. You have courage, energy, and optimism. You feel fine and act it.

When depressed, you walk slowly and look toward the ground. You smile only occasionally, and then with apparent difficulty. You see a tragedy in every problem. You lack perspective, feel discouraged, and sometimes wish you could just die. Nothing seems right. The sun either is too hot or the cold is too penetrating. There is even a tendency to suspect the motives of others.

Some people experience sudden changes in mood. Some people’s mood change so often that it is hard to predict when they are cheerful and when they are downcast. When cheerful, such a person is sociable and one feels that I have met a friend. When downcast, he may even ignore old acquaintances, even his wife, who wonders, “What have I done now?” Everyone experiences these fluctuations of mood, even though the extremes may not be very common. Of course, the events of the day have their influence on your mood. The businessman who completes an important job feels like treating his wife to a sumptuous dinner; but he is likely to ignore his wife greeting when he returns home, if he has failed to win a major contract he has been going after for many months.

Your physical condition also has a great deal to do with your moods. When you come back from work feeling worn out you tend to feel downcast, whereas you will feel buoyant when you just returned from a vacation.

But even though the day’s events and the state of health have a profound influence on your mood, there is still another factor that has its effect. This is the tendency toward cyclic alterations. When emotional is abundant you feel elated and ready to accept challenges. During its ebb you tend to be depressed.

By their very nature, moods are hard to analyze. So it is not surprising that most people are not aware of the rhythmical nature of their moods. But the keeping of a simple record will convince you that your moods do come and go in a wavelike manner. Once convinced, a period of depression will seem much less difficult to handle than when it was supposed that moods depend entirely on the day’s happenings only. With this insight a period of depression will be less devastating knowing that a feeling of well-being will soon follow. Moods can be taken in stride. The high price to pay for uncontrolled temper is losing the esteem of your partner, and setting such an example before your children portend the danger that they would lose their respect for you and their own personalities would suffer as the result of the unhappy home environment.




It is reasonable to suppose that many of the marital tragedies have occurred when the parties concerned were in the troughs of their temperamental cycles. This is the time that life appears most gloomy. This is the time when couples are less tolerant of each other. This is the time when divorce proceedings are initiated. This is the time when, for no provocation at all, a young lady may tell her suitor not to call again. If people would delay their important decisions until their moods shift to their optimistic phases, there would not be so many lovers jilted, and there would not be so many divorces and separations.

Moods have an important bearing on the relationships within the home. When a husband is in the depressed phase of his temperamental cycle, he is less tolerant of his wife than when he feels elated. The same thing goes for the wife. It is bad enough when just one of them at a time feels downcast. But when husband and wife get the blues on the same day, things are in danger of becoming pretty stormy.

The cultivation of a sense of humor is one of the most effective way of combating this situation. If the habit of seeing the funny side of things is built up during the crests of one’s temperamental waves, it will carry over the troughs of these same waves and help the couple maintain an even keel.

The trick of seeing the funny side of things works very well in controlling depressed moods. But to develop the conviction that you are capable of rising above life’s vicissitudes is a way to provide the stimulus for a happier outlook. The only wise course is to decide in favor of buoyancy and optimism.

Another way to maintain temperamental poise is to resolve that moods will never interfere with your usual way of life. The natural tendency is to suspend activities when you feel depressed. Happy home have been created by couples that have learned to control themselves. The control of anger is the ability to analyze the causes of your difficulty rather than to react with a fit of anger. Anger is like a parasite that grows with the growth of the supporting body, and, like a parasite, it can be killed by separation and crushing.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      "Anger is the Mask that Hurt Wears"

      Whenever someone becomes angry it's because they (feel) someone has disrespected them, neglected them, or mistreated them in some way.

      Generally speaking they'll have one of two responses either they'll cry or become angry. Our society tends to view (crying) as being the 'weaker' option and (anger) is seen as reacting with 'strength'.

      Nevertheless it's important to always keep in mind that the source of anger comes from a person (feeling hurt) in some way.

      Odds are if you're the "hurt person" your yelling in anger will more than likely cause the other person to become "defensive" as they yell back. On the other hand if you (calmly) tell them they hurt you, disrespected you, or mistreated you and simply walk away you are more likely to get an apology, asked for forgiveness, or some measure of (empathy) later on.

      If you're the person who is being yelled at instead of automatically fighting fire with fire keep in mind that their anger is really a cry of pain. You can be calm and help them to remove the mask of anger to address the root cause of why they felt you hurt them. Oftentimes the issue is "perception" and not "intention". Once everyone explains what was their motivation or thought process an understanding is reached. Always apologize whenever you (unintentionally) hurt someone. One man's opinion! :-)

    • Chuksm profile image

      Anthony Modungwo 2 years ago from Benin

      Thanks dashingscorpio for your comment. I completely agree with you.

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