December 2015

Why Men are Expected to Pay for Dates


Why do women expect men to pay for dates?

Obviously not all women expect it, but there are a lot of women who do. Even if they don’t most men will pay for it regardless. I personally think it’s more of a traditional ritual than anything, passed on from generation to generation. Before the age of feminism and women’s liberation, women weren’t really allowed to work outside of their homes, at least not for a wage and therefore did not have any money to spend of their own – men were expected to be the providers. So when it came to courting women, men were obligated to pay for everything since he had a job and means to money that she didn’t. As time passed on and more women started joining the workforce, paying for dates became some sort of a “manly” thing to do, not manly as in macho or obligated to do so but more in the sense that it is only something men are supposed to do like peeing standing up (best example I could come up with since I couldn’t think of anything else considering women can do pretty much everything men can nowadays.) So in a sense it showed weakness and lack of economic sense if the man didn’t pay for the date.


Of course there are other reasons as well like culture and chivalry. Some women come from cultures where the traditional roles are still in play. Many men still hold ‘traditional values’ and if they are not capable of ‘providing’, they might believe they are less of a man.
Many people also feel they have a sense of responsibility to pay if they’re the ones who did the asking.
Then there is the thing about nurture and nature.
Suppose you just found a dollar on the ground, would you just ignore it and walk away? Most people wouldn’t. Similarly, if you had the choice between paying or not paying, which would you choose? (If you insist on paying, good for you. If not, that’s okay it’s normal. The sad truth is that all human beings are influenced by greed otherwise the concept of money wouldn’t exist.)
Women are given these choices way too often and being raised in this kind of environment results in many of them being spoiled. Though we fight for equal opportunities and most of them are beginning to get it, but when given the opportunity for them to haggle for more it’s only human nature for them to do so.


So basically, taking in all these factors

  • Pride compels men to ‘show’ they can support. (And they bring themselves into an endless cycle of trying to impress women with their ability to support.)
  • The more support women receive, the less they value the support. (Women are spoiled by these gestures.)
  • Eventually, women get the idea that these supports should be taken for granted.
  • When men suggest women should also contribute, different opinion leads to dispute.

Ultimately it all comes down to tradition, it’s hard to resist it when it has rooted itself so deep into society’s clutches. Although I think nowadays there are just as many couples that either split the bill or one pays for this date and the next time the other picks up the tab.

Double Standards in Feminism


First of all I’d like to say I’m not a feminist (it has mostly to do with my belief that women aren’t equal to men in all regards, that there are certain things only men can do.) My beliefs are however not relevant to this myTake. It’s written solely to list some of the double standards that have arisen or/and have been influenced by feminism.

I wouldn’t directly blame feminists for all of these, but I would say they’re a side effect. A lot of these did exist before the feminist movement but they became much more common afterwards and I don’t think that’s entirely a coincidence.

• The most obvious is that an alleged criminal, if he’s a guy, is treated like a criminal, but feminists believe most female alleged criminals are actually victims and need help.

• Scantily-clad women in magazines and TV commercials objectify women and promote rape culture yet demand women should be able to wear whatever they want without being objectified.

• Women should be allowed to wear whatever they want, even if it’s really sexy and revealing however Matt Taylor wearing a t-shirt a picture of a sexy women is sexist and misogynistic.

• They claim that women who have a lot of sex are sl*t shamed, but then attack men for having multiple partners because they’re “objectifying and using women like meat.”

• If a man finds out he isn’t the father and skips town because he doesn’t want to make any more payments, he’s a dead-beat dad. He shouldn’t be allowed to get a paternity test proving he isn’t the father, since that would be disruptive to the harmony of the family.

• Women get full child custody by default, fathers desperately fight for their children.

• When they make false accusations and men go to jail or die in jail, well, it’s a tragedy, but she’s sick. She needs help.

• Women should have a right to opt out of parenthood if they want however men should have no rights to opt out of parenthood.

• Male-dominated fields are proof of sexism against women but female-dominated fields are okay.

• Female sexuality should be open and embraced. Male sexuality is violent and should be contained.

• “All women should have the right to believe what they want” . Anti-feminist or non-feminist women are labeled as stupid with internalized misogyny.

• They feel women are viewed as needy and clingy if they go after a guy, and that women should be allowed to approach men. They think guys feel “entitled” when they approach women, and guys need permission to approach women.

• They fought for the right to vote but didn’t fight for the responsibility that men had that was to sign up for selective service in order to receive the vote.

• They complain that female victims of domestic abuse don’t receive enough government funding. Men make up about half of domestic abuse victims and receive virtually no government funding.

• They believe gender is a social construct of the patriarchy to oppress women and privilege men yet they regularly advocate for trans rights on the grounds that transgender people are born as one gender in the wrong body.

• Patriarchy keeps men from talking about their feelings, and that men should be allowed to express their feelings. Feminists protest Men’s Conferences and say that men are “mansplaining” when they explain something.

• Society teaches boys to be misogynistic however single-parent mothers are more common than ever, and most teachers are women. (If most boys learn from single-parent mothers and women teachers, who is teaching them to be sexist?)

• A drunk woman consenting to sex was raped by the man. A drunk man consenting to sex had poor control over himself and raped the woman.

• A woman may commit a crime of passion if she’s on her period so she shouldn’t be punished as severely but saying a woman is being too emotional because of her period is misogynistic.

• Objectifying women is wrong however objectifying men is not wrong because it “doesn’t happen as much.”

Now I know not all feminists are the same and not all feminists have the same views but you can not deny that these double standards still exist. I’m not hating on women for advocating equal rights, but not when doing so results in the loss of the rights of men.

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