Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Autism misconceptions in school


It’s as important to know the myths and misconceptions of autism as it is the facts and realities. What I will share with you here are from actual experiences of parents I have interviewed around the country.

-This child can’t learn the material or is incapable of learning the material. Children with autism don’t react to or relate with the world around them the same as other children. This makes it too easy to underestimate their learning capabilities and for educators to just give up on them. My own son was accused of this because of his outbursts and behavior that made it seem like he wasn’t paying attention. Later in the year he showed them all that he not only absorbed the material and heard what was said, he understood it perfectly. Erratic behavior is not proof of inability to learn. For that matter, autistics are well known for absorbing everything around them. But they can’t sort it as fast as others because they literally take in too much at a time to do so. This factor of autism is murder on their attention span because literally every single thing in the room is demanding their attention at the level of a fire alarm. If all your teachers could be armed with this information, we can give these kids a better chance to make it through school.

-I just don’t see autism in your child. This is one that has frustrated many struggling parents and seems dismissive to them. You may see a hundred children with autism and not even know it. First of all, it’s not the school staff’s place to judge medical diagnosis. Every child with autism is different and there’s often other co morbid conditions that take affect on the child’s behavior. It’s a spectrum and behaviors can be affected all across it. I’ve had teachers suggest that my son is too social to have autism. What is missed with that statement is that our autism kids will be an extreme of either direction. Those that are in the extreme of social attempts still have trouble with social boundaries and cues. They want to be social but try too hard and wind up forcing people away as a result. It’s important that staff not worry about judging diagnosis (especially when they aren’t doctors) and concentrate on what will help the child learn.

-This child is a brat or a nuisance. If staff understand how our kids are affected by their conditions at all, they won’t dismiss them as just brats. Our kids aren’t just trying to learn a curriculum but how to live through a medical condition as well. Imagine trying to learn how to juggle and ride a bike at the same time. Separately you can expect success in a given period of time, but if your body and mind force you to do both at once it will get frustrating in a hurry. That’s life for our kids on the spectrum, constant frustration because things they try to do never come out as intended. Then they get more frustrated because someone is yelling at them or scolding them when it was a struggle in the first place. That’s not to say they should never be scolded but it will take practice to separate the behaviors that require a little healthy scolding and the ones that don’t. A rule of thumb is to apply to behavior that directly affects others. Hitting another child or acting out against another child is inappropriate and should still be dealt with immediately. Getting frustrated over a spelling paper is inappropriate but not hurting anyone. It doesn’t require the same amount of discipline or handling. It is where understanding and some sensitivity to the child’s struggles can go a long way.

-This child needs to be institutionalized. If ever a phrase should be banned from escaping a teachers lips to our autism families, it’s that one. This is a medical decision and should be made with extreme care. Autism kids don’t need to be locked in a cell, they already are inside of their own poor heads. Why would we want to compound that pain? In my Jr high years in Lincoln, Nebraska I was branded as retarded and made to stay in a hospital for 30 days for evaluations. While they still didn’t diagnose my autism, they did discover I was anything but retarded. It was not my school’s place to judge me medically. In all fairness however, autism can be a masking condition that is good at covering itself up. That’s why we need to apply this new level of understanding for all our teachers and staff.

-It’s just poor parenting. Autism is a proven disorder and has nothing to do with how a child is “parented”. As it is, parenting an autism child is very challenging. School is often far more structured than at home and doesn’t involve the same needs as running a household. Autism parents have to take their child to the store and appointments and be prepared for spontaneous behavior at any waking moment. Embarrassing explosive meltdowns could happen for just about any reason, but mostly reasons “invisible” to the bystander. Daily routines that most take for granted can be long drawn out episodes and require vigilance and patience to get through. Staff need to consider that they do not see but a fraction of these children’s lives. They also need to remember that these are special needs children and parenting is more of a challenge than with an average child.

-This child is unhealthy or diseased. Autism is a disorder, not a disease. It is not communicable though known to be hereditary. High functioning autism children can run and play just as well as any child. They can grow and mature, though maturity takes longer. Calling them unhealthy or diseased is inappropriate and hurtful to the relations with the child’s family.

-This child is supposed to have genius ability. Not all autism children have a savant ability, while such is popular in the movies. What is common is for them to become so enthralled with a given subject that they can’t let go of it. They may become “little professors” on that subject. They may be able to tell you trivial information that almost no one would even notice on the subject. They may even try to apply that subject to everything they say or do (whether it fits or not). However, that does not constitute genius, just intense interest that gets them “stuck in a rut”. People with autism are extremely diverse, though there are mannerisms that are common amongst them.

-This child will never leave home or be able to do anything on his own. This is an impossible forecast. It’s also highly inappropriate. It suggests that a child with autism will never mature or grow. It’s true that low functioning autism children may need care for their entire lives, but it’s not true for every child and certainly cannot be forecast based on the child’s condition in elementary school (for the high functioning). Children with autism go through phases of maturity and growth. They just take longer and have more difficulty. Not only is it wrong to say this to parents (refer to idea of not judging or diagnosing above), but the children can pick up on it as well. I remember being labeled as ‘retarded’ and I remember teachers in more than one state or district who told me point blank that I would never amount to anything. Remember that these children pick up more than they show. It’s psychologically damaging and hinders self esteem which does hinder their personal growth. With proper support and care, many of our children will grow, mature, and be able to lead lives on their own. It’s important for this to take place in our schools.

So, from this we can take that high function children with autism:

-CAN learn the material, even if they don’t show it right away.

-are diverse and will show symptoms differently in their behaviors.

-is NOT just a brat or spoiled child, rather at the mercy of their conditions.

-does not require being locked up just because they have autism.

-is not the result of bad parenting.

-is not diseased or unhealthy just because they have autism.

-is not always a genius.

-may mature and grow, even if it doesn’t look like it at the time.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Getting help with autism

You just got the news. You or a loved one has been diagnosed with autism. Your blood runs cold and you sit in shock. What now? What’s autism? What do I do? Take heart, you aren’t alone.

The CDC’s newest statistics show that one in 110 children have autism. Autism has proven highly hereditary in it’s forms that aren’t thought to be vaccine triggered. The newest diagnostic manual (DSM) followed by doctors states that all the forms of autism to include Asperger’s are accepted as simply “autism”. That means there is help out there, for all levels and forms. That’s not to say that getting proper support is easy and there are still insurance issues across the country, but you mustn’t lose hope.

First of all, you need to know where you can find resources, advice, and help. I’m going to tell you how to do that right now.

The first resource that I am giving you is the Autism Society of America. They have a chapter in every state and are the most in depth source of all resources you can find. To find them, go to your browser and put in “Autism society of *blank*”. Blank is where to put the name of your state. It is possible to find societies in Canada and the UK as well. Just put your province or state location in the place of that word, ‘blank’.

On most of their pages you will find a link that says RESOURCES. Click on that. You will find a list of organizations and offices in your state with phone numbers and locations. Pick up your phone and start calling them. Most of these resources can give you a heads up on what doctors are the best to go to for autism and what schools have the best resources, depending on what is reported to them. You may also find other families who have dealt with autism longer than you and can share advice on what has worked for them. Some state health departments even have an autism representative who can work with you. Can’t hurt to call and ask!

The second resource I have for you is NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). NAMI is pretty much US based, but they have excellent information and links to resources for pretty much every state. To find their chapter for your state, go to your browser and type in NAMI and the name of your state. When I go to the Wisconsin site that lists as the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, I click on services and find a map with all the counties of Wisconsin. I click on my county and get a long list of mental health services for my area. The rest would be up to me, to pick up my phone and start calling. Some services may be listed with both organizations.

The third resource is the advocate. If you really feel lost seek out advocates in your area or even right here. We volunteer our time to help you find the information you need and many of us live with the exact same or similar conditions and don’t mind lending advice or letting you just vent to someone.

So know that you are not alone. There are thousands of people and families dealing with autism and vast other mental illnesses and disorders. There are lots of websites, forums and groups with others just like you, right out there. Don’t lose hope.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Rights to our opinions

This is what I recently posted at Sheboygan Press, where I get more hate mail than anywhere on the internet:

I write in a lot of places. I write on facebook, myspace, blogspot, and over 20 of the NING websites. My purpose is to make people think, educate on certain issues, and simply provide an opinion. That is a right we are all supposed to have. I have had a lot of readers in my time and still have quite a few today.

Having an opinion can be a dangerous thing to do. Standing up for the rights of others, even more so. There are a lot, and I mean a lot of hateful people out there who have nothing better to do than attack people because they don't agree with them. And hey, I understand it's a risk I take and a risk well worth it. I have helped a lot of families and I wouldn't give that up no matter what my haters have to say. I can assure you, that just by posting this, I will likely get a bunch more hateful comments calling me some very colorful things.

Well, these people need to stop and reflect for a minute. What did I ever really do to you? Did I run over your dog or something? Seriously, I don't know you (at least I don't think I do) and I'm pretty sure I've done nothing to you (I don't believe in doing unto others wrongly), so what's your issue? Does the fact that I have something to say really have to affect you that much? Why are you wasting so much time getting offended? I don't swear at anyone, I share my experiences truthfully and merely have an opinion. So why does that have to have such an affect on you? Why do you let it? I really don't understand.

I know Sheboygan has had some tough times in the last ten years or so and there is some heavy bitterness and resentment around here. I've met it face to face. I say this because, right here on Sheboygan Press, I have had triple the hateful messages and yes, even threats than anyplace else I have ever written. Not different material either, same stuff. Now I will follow that up with this: For every person who has come on here and left me a horrible remark or message, I've had someone come up to me in person to say they agree with what I have to say. So it's not a totally lopsided deal, just that there is a lot of negativity here compared to other places by my experience.

Well, I know I've said that I would use some of the nasty comments for education on the attitudes I stand against, but that doesn't work. So I'm not going to post your nasty comments anymore. If you have something to say that's concise and respectful, even if you disagree with me; I will post that. But if all you can do is call me names and get derogatory or show that you can't get a grip on any form of reason and just want to fight... forget it. I don't have to accept abuse from anyone, nor do you. And I'm not going to give up my freedom of speech just because you don't like what I have to say.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Just get over it

Our soldiers are coming home with stress disorders, psychological and physical injuries. I’ve seen them speak out to try and educate our general public, who should listen. They should listen because it’s their freedom those soldiers stand for. The general public says:

“Just get over it. Stop your whining.”

Numbers of child and spouse abuse are climbing in the news. They say that it’s because of the stress from a down economy and extremely stressful living that goes with our current times. Organizations and people who have suffered this abuse try to educate the general public, because you could be next. The general public says:

“Just get over it. Stop your whining.”

Crime has been on the rise which means that victims of crime have been too. Women who get raped sometimes have support groups to go to, but most suffer in silence. The general public’s attitude remains the same when it comes to education on this too. They could be supportive and caring, but instead:

“Just get over it. Stop your whining.”

Disabilities are on the rise as well. In particularly (you know what I’m going to say) autism. Now at 1 in every 110 instead of 150. Our coalitions, organizations, and advocates try to educate the cold general public. A public that believes our autistic kids to be just ‘brats’ or autistic adults to be just ‘psycho’. It’s important to eliminate that belief because it hurts innocent people when they are wrongly judged, no matter what walk of life they are in. What do we get told when we stand up for our ideals? You guessed it,

“Just get over it. Stop your whining.”

NO. You stop! Stop black marking soldiers, victims of abuse and crimes and the disabled. Stop being racist. Stop discriminating against religions. Stop labeling people as something bad or evil just because you don’t know the first thing of what they have to live with. Stop expecting everyone else to be just like you. You can’t stand us speaking out? You get over it and stop your whining.

Understanding and acceptance are not too much to ask.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Wolf hybrids are not service dogs!

The wolf hybrid is an animal with a near cult following in exotic pets. Recently in my reports on Michael Robinson, I noted that he claimed to have one such animal as an epilepsy service dog. To me this is alarming, because if anyone is trying to “sell” the idea of a wolf hybrid as any kind of service animal, someone is going to get hurt.

First of all, on the light side, wolf hybrids are practically uninsurable and banned in several states and many communities or cities. They cannot be guaranteed protected by rabies vaccine either.

Next let’s see how they fare as a family pet, never mind a service animal. They bond to only one person and that person must be seen by it as an alpha personality. They may be docile around other very familiar adults but they don’t tolerate children well.

In 2002 I was working for Lincoln Animal Control and we were given a study that showed 87% of wolf hybrids to have attacked and seriously injured someone of their own family. This usually involved children. As of today the wolf hybrid is in the top five in the nation for fatalities to humans in attacks. They don’t make better guard dogs either, being shy by nature of humans. They aren’t as likely to attack an adult outright. Children are smaller and wind up triggering dominance and prey drives in the animal.

The very nature of the wolf is completely against training to assist the disabled. Wolves naturally cull out the weak or sick in their pack units. Can you imagine what could happen to your child in an epileptic fit in front of a wolf of any kind? Or for autism, a sensory overload? It’s immediate and natural urge will be to attack, not assist. But hey, don’t just take my word for it, try these places:





Quote from the last one, the Clifton survey:

“wolf hybrids are accordingly 60 times
more likely to kill or maim a child than a German shepherd--and that is
before even beginning to consider the critical behavioral distinctions.”

Anyone who is touting these animals as any kind of service or assistance animal for any form of health ailment or disability is only looking to make a quick buck. If you spend the hundreds of dollars on this animal with it’s own highly special needs, and expect to train it to serve a “non-alpha” in your home, you are asking for disaster.

I have to admit at this point, that I have found no website or source advertising wolf hybrids as trained service animals or to be trained as such. The fact that someone I believe to be a con artist, is touting this information still raises alarm bells with me. I’m worried that this person and possibly others are considering this as a way to sell their wolf animals to the unsuspecting. So, I leave you with this recap:

Wolf hybrids:
CANNOT BE CERTIFIED AS SERVICE ANIMALS (because of the insurance and…)

So don’t fall for it!


Thursday, March 11, 2010

Teaching our autistic kids to handle meltdowns

Children who live with autism and have meltdowns and sensory overload need to learn how to live with their conditions. This is important because a child with autism is going to eventually become an adult with autism. That makes it our job as parents to teach our children how to cope with their conditions for the best chances in life. Certainly you wonder how we do this? I have some suggestions.

First, please bear in mind, this is geared toward our higher functioning kids with sensory disorders.

Knowing your feelings. Recognizing how we feel is a major key in intervention of an overload. Talk to your child about how they feel when they get angry or frustrated. Frustration is a key element in overload and I consider it like the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. A feeling of deep frustration or inner rage that doesn’t appear to have a reason is a cue toward overload. The body starts to feel tense and it can build quickly. Recognizing when this feeling is coming on takes practice. But once you know where it is in yourself, you can take steps to avoid or control it.

Know when to take a break. Anyone who has a sensory disorder should have a safe place to retreat to and take a break. This should not be a time out area. It should be a place to practice cooling down and just taking a break to let a sensory overload diminish.
It should be a comfortable place with comfortable things. This is where to go when they’re getting so upset they just can’t bear it. It should not be a crutch to avoid dealing with problems however. You will have to find the balance for that in your child.

Problem solving on it’s own is a longer process than for a typical child. It will take patience and one problem at a time. Having a protocol taught for those over the limit times is one major step in the right direction. Also take note that each child will learn their limits at a different pace, so don’t give up.

Some good items to have in the cool down spot are pillows and heavy blankets. Pillows are great for squeezing and allow your child to exert the adrenalin buildup from an overload in a safe way. Blankets are good to hide under, block out extra sensory and can be squeezed as well. You can find items like body socks and weighted blankets online made just for our sensory kids. There is even a Ning website called Sensory World and I highly advise it. For some kids a fan is a nice thing too. It cools the air and acts as a white noise generator to block out other annoying sounds. I use one myself as does my son.

So, talk to your children about how they feel and specifically about knowing when they are too upset. Set up a safe place for cool downs and make sure they understand it is not a punishment. Take it all one step at a time and in good time your child can learn to slowly control some of their conditions. Enough that they may be have a really good shot at a decent adulthood.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The risk of exposing frauds online

There is a certain inherent risk to exposing frauds on the internet. They really can be dangerous people. They are often not above cyber-bullying, smearing, or even threats of violence. The very worst ones will cover lies up with more lies and probably can’t stop themselves. What I am going to show you today is just how low these people will go when they get exposed.

I recently wrote about Michael Robinson who claims to be an advocate, but wants your money. He has one partner facing prison for 20,000 dollars in fraud (and possibly more as I was recently shown) and he himself has been caught in quite a pack of lies. He claims to work for the Department of Defense, to be a DC Lobbyist, and even a racecar driver in NASCAR. When asked for proof of his credentials, he refused and sidestepped. Then he had a website made to smear a journalist from Examiner.com (recently taken down, and not by him). Last night, he set his sites on me.

I was corresponding with a woman named Regina whom I thought to be one of his victims. She’s been touting his banner for some time and declaring him to be the best thing since sliced bread. We recently found comments, dated in 2005 by Michael that show his true colors fairly well. The screen shot I took showed him using demeaning and vulgar language (I would rather not put that here, but if I have to, I will) and even threatening to break someones “C spine” if they contact him. Clearly not behavior of an advocate by any means. Regina called that fake, but she obviously brought the discovery to Michael’s attention.

So, last night, Michael went to his myspace page and altered it in an attempt to make it look like I’m some kind of a hacker. Take a look at this screen shot:

And this one:

There are some glaring error issues here. First of all, if you want it to seem like I’m hacking your page and admitting it, don’t misspell my name. My last name is not Wildman, it’s Wilde.

Second, no one does something like that and insults themselves over and over again. They insult their target. This proves that you altered your own page as an attempt to slight me. Why would I hack some guys page to call myself a fat slob, flat faced or anything else? That’s pretty stupid, Mike. Heck, I don’t even know how to hack a page from a notebook, never mind a website.

Also, remember that little issue about Mike’s typing that we discovered? Take a good close look. He does it more than once, leaving a space or even two before every question or exclamation mark.

So, no, I didn’t do anything to Mike’s stupid Myspace page. As it is, according to the time stamp, printed right on his page that says how many hours ago he was there, it would have been around 11pm my time. I have early mornings with a child of my own and was getting what proper sleep I could, thank you very much.

Add that to the lies he’s already been caught in and you have to wonder how much you can believe him. He also isn’t helping his own image by any means.

Seriously though, I have absolutely nothing to fear from this man. This is a feeble attempt at best and laughable at most. It’s been turned over to the authorities and the website administration for further investigation. The pen is mightier than the sword, especially when it writes the truth. Please take this into consideration when approached by anyone who says they are a “lay advocate” and can help you in any form of legal proceedings. Check out credentials and guard your checkbook.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Restraint versus sensory disorder

So how does use of restraint affect a person with a sensory disorder? It’s actually very intense. First you have to understand that the senses of a person with this disorder (touch, taste, etc) are not working properly and are likely turned up “too high” on that person. Various sensations are amplified and hard to live with. This can effectively “overload” the brain at times, hence the term: sensory overload.

Try to imagine, every little sound turns into a series of echoing and crashing bombardments; slight sensations on your skin make it just crawl and make you shudder; light hurts your eyes, and there’s even a flavor or taste on the air that makes you just want to spit or gag. It’s not always all of these at the same time, heck, just one is sufficient. It can make you want to curl up in the fetal position and just scream. Intense is a good word for it and even that may not do it justice.

So take a look at a child in school or anywhere else who goes into a self damaging fit. That fit comes from all that intensity and sensory input that can’t be sorted or even slowed down. It causes total chaos in that poor kids head. It triggers fight or flight response and they may even resort to pounding their head against objects trying to funnel it all out. It creates an overload of stimulation and adrenalin. And remember, adrenalin also magnifies your senses. Once you get that much energy conflicting in such a small place, it has to go somewhere.

So you have no choice, you must hold your child or someone has to hold them to protect them from themselves. In this you take inherent risks of being hit or kicked, but it’s not out of malice. It’s out of sheer pain, rage and panic. That’s right, sensory overload HURTS. But what does that do? For a while, it only intensifies the effects of the overload. After all you are touching, and maybe even squeezing to hold on to the poor kid. You don’t mean to hurt him, and you’re just trying to protect him, but he escalates because no matter what you do, you still add to the sensory input for the time being.

No, that cannot be helped. All you can do is all you can do. You have to weigh the end results. Do you let them bash their head on the floor (they won’t be able to stop on their own until absolutely exhausted). Or, do you hold them and help them ride it out with minimal lasting damage? There really isn’t a choice there. You have to help your child and then teach them how to handle it themselves for when they get older. Soon I will write about how to establish a safety protocol to deal with sensory overload at home. One you may even be able to teach your kids.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Restraint and Seclusion in our schools

All is peaceful as the 2nd grade student works on his spelling words along with the class. In the blink of an eye, something agitates him. He gets frustrated over something that others can only guess at and instantly shreds his spelling paper. His aide and teacher move swiftly and the child finds himself with arms held down in place, restrained against his desk. No one will let go of him until the thrashing and struggle cease. Unfortunately, while restraint has its place, this is not a scenario that restraint was required in.

The proper use of restraint seems to have gotten lost over the years since introduced as a solution in public schools decades ago. It’s getting used for infractions of behavior more as a punishment than a safety protocol. The proper use of restraint is for a child who endangers himself or someone else beyond the scope of being redirected from behavior. Consider my scenario again and ask yourself; who was in danger? Who was being hurt? A piece of paper, that’s all. At this point, it is time to attempt redirection of the child’s behavior and attention. Should that fail, and the child turns destructive behavior to self harm or goes for another student, then restraint may be necessary.

Seclusion is the next issue that’s causing problems. Consider this, therapists tell us that time out should only be used for a period of about a minute per child’s age. They’ll even tell you that a child with shortened attention span will have to be adjusted in shorter increments of time. How is it then, that our schools are locking children in “seclusion rooms” for 30 minutes and more? Some for more than an hour! Just to get started, that’s about 3x the amount that we are taught, isn’t it? As if that weren’t bad enough, seclusion areas could be anything from a blank concrete room to a janitor’s closet! Another thing that “time out” is not supposed to be is intimidating or frightening. Think about it.

So why have our schools gone to such extreme measures? I think they simply don’t know what to do with these kids and what ever conditions they may be living under. That’s why they need additional education. Let’s face it, the number of children who have autism, ADHD, or any other condition, isn’t dropping. In fact, it’s increasing by leaps and bounds. It’s creating a shift in the kinds of students that teachers are doing to find in their classrooms. This calls for the system to adapt to the changing needs of the students.

When it comes to restraint, we need to set a guideline for it’s use and train our educational staff in proper application. When considering the child’s needs what do we know about them? What is their medical condition and how does it affect them? There’s no need to be perfectly knowledgeable, but knowing the basics certainly can’t hurt. Here’s an important consideration; can the child in question be redirected from behavior? If so, there should be no need for restraint. If the child has fits that cannot be consoled or redirected, and they become dangerous to themselves or others, then safe and appropriate restraint should be used. But what does restraint really do to a child? In my next posting, I’ll be addressing just that.