Child Health A-Z

Preparing the Family

Preparing the Family

Preparing for your new baby includes helping other family members adjust. A new baby brings new sounds, new schedules, and new ways of coping for everyone. Most families soon find ways to adjust to the changes that take place. But it is helpful to prepare some family members for what is ahead.

Preparing siblings for the arrival of a new baby:

A new baby will bring enormous changes to any family, and these changes are often the most difficult for the older brothers and sisters. Children over five years of age often have an easier time, as they have begun to establish experiences and friends outside of the home. Toddlers often have a more difficult time. Not only do they have to share their parents with the interloper, but also the environment and their routines are affected. It has a tremendous impact on them.

Picture of two young children kissing their father on the cheek


Young children are very concrete. You might consider using large candles for the parents, smaller ones for the children. Light the parents' candles, and say that the candlelight is the love that the parents share with each other. Then light one of the smaller candles from the first two. Point out that the flames of the parents candles are just a large as they were, and that there is more love to go around. Then light the other small candle from the first three, and again point out that the love has only grown, and there is still a lot for everyone.

Some toddlers love having a special doll that is their "baby." This can be purchased in advance or brought home with the new baby. A fairly realistic baby can offer opportunities to practice holding, diapering, and feeding.

Let the older siblings know exactly what they can expect. Talk to your obstetrician or the hospital where you will be delivering about sibling preparation classes. Visiting mom in the hospital can be very important.


Right from the beginning identify a regular time, whether daily or weekly, which will be specifically for the older child. Ideally both parents will be able to have their own times. Even if you spend a lot of time with your children at home, it can be helpful to have this special time which they can count on, and not to feel they are constantly competing with the baby for your time and attention. When you are busy with the baby and your older child needs something, you can answer that you need to take care of the baby now, but "remember we will have our special time ....."


It is very easy, as busy new parents, to expect too much of the older siblings. A two year old is still a two year old, even as a big brother. Just like adults, children have limits to their coping abilities. When the stresses get too much they may regress a little, with toilet training or dressing for example, or wanting a bottle again, like a baby. Do not belittle these needs, but provide a little extra TLC and remind them how wonderful it is to be older and to be able to do so much more. It is hard enough for them to act their own age, do not fall into the trap of expecting your two year old to act like a five year old.


Preparing grandparents for the arrival of a new baby:





There are potential problems, of course. You will be developing your own knowledge of your baby and your own philosophy of child rearing. Happily accept help and suggestions, but do not let grandparents take over or make you feel inadequate or like a bad parent. Trust your instincts and your knowledge and be true to your own values.

Preparing pets for the arrival of a new baby:




The entrance of a new baby can often be chaotic. Pets may be curious, or just like children, they may experience some jealousy of the competition for their owner's attention. It is often recommended that you bring home a blanket, a worn article of the baby's clothing, or a used diaper with the baby's scent for the pet. This way the baby is more familiar to the animal.

When the baby comes home, allow your pet to sniff the new baby. Some experts recommend that someone other than a parent bring the baby into the home for the first time. There are many myths about pets and babies, such as cats sucking the air out of a baby's mouth. While many of these are untrue, it is wise to keep a close eye on all contact between your baby and your pets.


Last Update
February 3, 2008
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Last Update
February 3, 2008