Special Report

A loving heart is often healthier


Cupid's arrow delivers a prescription for health, according to a growing body of medical research into the benefits of loving relationships.

A high-quality marriage is associated with faster recovery from injury and a lower death rate after diagnosis of a life-threatening illness. Married people are less likely to suffer heart attacks than singles. Even the simple act of holding hands can lower the brain's distress during anxiety-fraught situations.

“Assuming it's a good relationship, people tend to be in better health, they tend to live longer,” said Dr. Roger Walsh, a UC Irvine psychiatrist. “How much of this is due to the actual relationship and how much to very simple things like eating regularly together and paying attention to one's health in other ways is not quite clear. Certainly, people in good romantic relationships and marriages tend to report themselves as happier than those who aren't.”


Studies have shown that so-called “broken-heart syndrome” really can mimic a heart attack.

Researchers at Johns Hopkins found that shocking news, such as the death of a loved one, can result in temporary heart muscle weakness that results from stress hormones stunning the heart.

A Finnish study published in January found that married and cohabitating couples were less likely to have heart attacks or die from them when they did, regardless of age.

The death rate after a heart attack was 60-168 percent higher in unmarried men and 71-175 percent higher in unmarried women.

The study authors suggested several possible explanations, including earlier medical care because the patient had a partner to call for help, and that married people may have better health habits and social support, which promote their overall health.


James Coan, a neuroscientist at the University of Virginia, said the brain is extremely sensitive to the quality of relationships.

He conducted a study in which 16 happily married women were threatened with an electric shock while undergoing an MRI brain scan. Coan said the occasional shock was to create the type of anticipatory anxiety people experience most often, such as over finances.

The women were either alone in the machine, held their husband's hand or held the hand of a male stranger.

When the women were alone, their brains showed the highest response to threat and anticipation of pain.

“Their brain sort of lights up like a Christmas tree,” Coan said. “The brain is trying to figure out how to deal with this perceived threat.”

Coan said when a stranger held the subject's hand, the activation in the brain diminished. But when the hand belonged to her husband, the brain calmed even more.

“The whole brain is kind of designed to benefit from social support,” he said. “It's vitally important to nurture your close relationships.”

Coan said a surprising finding was that for women who scored as having the very happiest relationships, holding their husband's hand shut off the hypothalamus, which releases stress hormones into the bloodstream. This can “help you if you're really in danger but hurt you if you're not.”

When the women were holding their husband's hands, they also rated the shock as less unpleasant.

“That suggested that one of the things that can be happening when someone you really know and trust is holding your hand, they can act as an analgesic,” Coan said.


Think of the adage, “You are what you eat.” In some ways, you are who you love.

Walsh, the UCI psychiatrist, said people who live together for a long time begin to resemble each other. And he said they transmit their moods through a phenomenon known as emotional contagion.

“One of the things that's becoming increasingly clear is that couples mold each other both psychologically and physically,” Walsh said. “One is sharing the same emotions, facial expressions. They literally frown and smile together and tend to mold each other into habitual emotional patterns.”

Walsh said shared moods and habits can even extend beyond an individual couple, to friends and colleagues.

“If you suddenly get much happier, then probably your spouse will and your spouse's friends,” Walsh said. “This emotional contagion radiates out much further into our social network than we'd imagine. If your spouse puts on 10 pounds, you're much more likely to gain weight, and so are your friends and their relatives. Our brains literally synchronize and mesh with one another.”

Walsh said unhappy relationships diminish overall health and longevity.

“If you can say, ‘My partner is my best friend,' the data is clear you've pretty much got it made,” he said.

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