Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Am I blind to sexism?

I have read a lot of things lately regarding sexism, feminism, gender stereotypes... and I wonder, why I haven't seemed to notice those things myself.  So I had a long hard think about feminism and sexism.

Being Feminist is one of those terms, that different people have differing stereotypes for.  To me, a feminist, is someone who is:
  • for equal rights in ALL aspects for women as men
  • but also slightly SEXIST, as in being a female chauvinist
Wikipedia says:
Feminism is a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women.  In addition, feminism seeks to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. A feminist is a "person whose beliefs and behavior are based on feminism."
So clearly you can see that my definition of feminism differs to the dictionary version.  And the reason is because I think the term Equalist, or Non-Sexist, being a better term, implying that both sides are equal. 

O wrote a post recently, titled Pressure, which was about how she felt there was pressure to perform better because she was female.  And Kat from Shaman Nebula (who wrote a guest post on World of Matticus) talked about being bullied and harrassed because she was female. can’t just be a woman and be good at what you do.  Someone let you win.  You cheated.  You got lucky.  A man can take a defeat from another man much more easily.
- Oestrus, The Stories of O
Now I can't say that I have ever had those things happen to me.  Of course being female, people try to crack on to you, but nobody has ever said to me that my game play was substandard because I was female.  Or that they let me win because I was female (though I have had some sneaking suspicions during some duels - I hate people letting me win).  And I have never felt pressure to perform better or felt like I had anything to prove because I was female.  This might be because I have an equalist mentality, where I think both sexes are equal.  And I really do believe that.  Girls who are passionate about computer games will perform as well as boys who play with equal passion.  It's the same in my workplace.  I am successful because I work hard.  I don't work as hard as the boys I work with, but if I did, I would earn as much as they do.  Nobody at work says I got any of my promotions or authority roles because I was a female.  I got them because I am good at what I do.

Kat's post really struck a chord in me.  She was accused of being "guaranteed" a raid spot because she had boobs.  Umm.... What??  Kat writes heroic 10 man strategies for shamans.  I'm no shaman but some of the healing tips are vaguely relevant to me and she does write well, because she knows what she is talking about.
Who SAYS things like that??  Clearly, it was said by a male.  And a jealous male at that.  It looks like he was taking a stab at the only thing he could really, that he thought was a weakness.  Being female.  I mean, really, who says things like this:
His exact words were “I wish I had your pair of to [breasts] to guarantee me a raiding spot and a whole guild raving about my skills and people constantly trying to get my attention for doing absolutely nothing else but existing, rather than ignore me when I log on”.
Clearly, a sad, and jealous douche.  Now, I as I said before, I have read Kat's blog.  She SOLO heals a lot, as shamans are terribly OP (Voe!!!) and you can't do that if you've "climbed the ranks because you're female".   You get there because you're goddamn awesome.

I have known females who DO use their feminine wiles to get places.  One of them, who is a close friend of my guildies (and was in this guild briefly), was guilty of this.  From my point of view, she flirted a lot, she was attractive in real life, and she was not a great player, but she was an OK player.  Nothing to write home about, but she was passable.  She also dressed her character provocatively too, and unfortunately was called a "slut" by another of my guildies which she told me about and told me to rectify, which I did.  Now being called a slut is another thing and I'll get onto that later.  But going back to topic, she is now in one of the top ranked guilds of our server, but she doesn't raid with them.  She had also gone along to my friend Cymre's guild for a run, and one of the boys who had brought her raved about her, but Cymre didn't think her performance was anything particularly flash.  But this is what I mean - she used her feminine charms to get her way, but those sorts of things don't work on other females.  I wasn't against her, in fact, I was excited to have another female to raid with, but her raid performance let her down, and I was disappointed.  But not ONCE did I think it was because she was female.

Now I can move onto the "slut" comment.  I have used the word slut many times, when I'm referring to "slut plate" or "slut leather".  I realised, I used the term to mean "provocative" or "come and get me" but in that silly fun way.  But slut is not a fun word, really.  Apple Cider wrote about how hurtful it was to be called a slut.  And you know what?  I have never been called a slut, not to my face.  So I thought long and hard about how I would feel if someone called me a slut.  And my conclusion?  I think it would depend on who was doing the name calling, and if everyone was calling me a slut.  But in reality, I couldn't imagine why people would call me a slut, I think I would just think they were silly.

I think that people often use the word slut out of jealousy.  Who are the people who get called "sluts"?  It's the sexily dressed, good looking girls.  Or the girls who have multiple sexual partners.  Those sexily dressed girls, other girls call them sluts because surely it's because they're jealous of how good those girls look in those clothes.  Or jealous of the daring that those girls show in being able to carry off an outfit like that.  And boys... they use it out of jealousy as well!  If a nice looking girl knocks them back or gives them the flick, the girl becomes a slut if she's seen with another guy.  Or if a nice looking girl ignores them after a pass, she's a slut.  Jealousy.  Plain and simple.

So how can you avoid this?  Act with decorum.  Act mature.  Don't play on your feminine wiles to get you out of trouble.  If you use your sex to get you ahead, then you may find that it may backfire on you and people will use it against you.  But remember that NOBODY should have the right to make you feel small and insecure.  Degrading someone, even if you think they deserve it, is never right.

So all this sexist abuse that goes around, comes from insecurity or jealousy, I've decided.  And I thought that clamping down on derogatory statements should not just extend to girls they should extend to EVERYONE.  To quote Kat:
Hear Hear.



    How sexist of you!!

    What if this was a lady with small boobs??

    1. @Anonymous - Whoops! You are quite right. But I have the advantage - it was said by a male (according to her post!) But I don't find that girls abuse one another because of the size of one's.. breasts.

  2. :P in any case, that person sounds like they're terribly depressed and a not-such a good player. Probably grumpy in the raid all the time which is why they got left out to begin with. I would rather take someone with an upbeat attitude than a grumpy arse >.<

    - Toutie

  3. Great post Nav :)

    In a way what started the feminist movement in the 60s I personally believe in some cases has gone too far in most western countries. (when it comes to defining "what is sexual harassment")

    Well to a point, the equality and mutual respect aspect of feminism will always stand - and I personally respect.

    Being a single guy in a workplace full of nice ladies, how do you get to know a single colleague that you may like without being seen/accused as sexually harassing someone?

    This is so frustrating that I had been accused of being borderline harassing someone, as I had shown 'interest' in them, when actually I was simply getting to know the person in the hopes of introducing her to a friend of mine. Even if I was interested in someone. So feminism in that regard really comes across as negative to me, as I wasn't exactly running around saying to her "Nice rack!"

    There are countries though where women are regarded as 2nd class citizens, some where they are forced to marry their rapists, some where they're not allowed to vote, some that would have them actually jailed for being raped!!! Those countries need a definite dose of feminist action, this is where the feminist movement is most needed!

    From a gaming perspective though, I do see the male players react a bit differently to the ladies than they do other players - I have no idea who you referred to in your post, but thankfully I can say our guild has always been about fairness, kindness and maturity and most importantly fun!.

    We tend to not tolerate any abusive or intently malicious behaviour in raids or Gchat (I guess to a point) .. although apparently that has recently changed somewhat .. (Voe!! :P ) j/k ;)

    - Toutie again!

  4. you bring up some valid points that make me think about my experiences in being a "gamer girl".

    I've had my fair share of "dirty whispers", The "ASL" phase, and the automatic "are you single- launching into some verbal spiel of their life to ply me to feel sorry for them". Oh we can't forget the "you have a sexy voice in vent" whispers >.< But I have also been on the end of abusiveness from other females (from my experience females are so much meaner than males). And yes some females seem to have this proactive way with males and females to turn them against other females in the same guild, its disgusting.

    I'm not saying all the males I've come across have acted like this toward me, just a small portion of the male population in WoW.

    But in terms of derogatory statements, sexist or not I agree should be applied to both sexes.

    Toutie brings up quite a valid point about male players reacting differently to the female gamers. And depending on the type of reaction, it's normal. I think it would be the same us females reacting to some males.

    Most times I've had surprised winks when I have spoken on vent (in various pugged raids) but been treated with the same respect as any other raider would be (most of the time).

    As for being a feminist, I am not. I respect both the males and females of the Frostwolves family and the people who surround me in everyday life.

  5. I can 100% guarantee I've never let you - or anyone - win a duel with me in my life. :p

    'cept Az of course, I 'let' Az win every second game or so ...

    1. Is that what happened last time Sev? =p

      OT, good post Navi! I myself have never really thought much of the topic myself, maybe I've just never encountered it with any of my female friends? Or maybe I'm just lucky to have such an open and cultured guild and friends! Either way, something to think about.

      - Aza

  6. I didn't really start paying attention to feminism until I started reading others' accounts of being hurt or harassed, and thought I was missing the point about it for a long time too. Now, having talked to or read about all sorts of people, I can conclude that I've just been extremely lucky to know generally cool people. The buttweiners I can mostly get away from, but I'd rather demand people not to be buttweiners than learn techniques to not be pestered by them ><

    I'm a little sad that you assume advocating feminism means being chauvinist towards men! Lots of feminists love men, and some men are also feminists. Wanting the same rights and protections for women doesn't mean maliciously trying to screw over men by taking away their rights.

    If you're interested in reading more (I don't mean to advertise, but more address your question of "am I blind to this?" with other opportunities to, uh, see I guess?) is a good place to read many different types of people's take on games and gamer culture, and has topics on both games and other types of geekery.

    1. @Akabeko - don't get me wrong Aka, I don't think feminism is BAD, I just think the term itself is a bit... pro female. Like saying we should have women only gyms. I just want everyone to be treated the same. Excluding men from women things is sexist to me. So I would rather everything was equal. I am not a feminist, I like to think I'm an equalist, I think men and women should have the same rights and responsibilities.

    2. @Akabeko - and you're right, I think that I also have just fallen in with the right sorts of people that moronic sexist behaviour like that exhibited in my post has not happened to me.

    3. I agree, I think the term is meant to be pro-female. But being pro-female doesn't mean being anti-male! I feel like a lot of times in order to break even you have to go overboard with girl power stuff and hope that about half of it sticks. In that regard, I'm fine with the term. I love ladies! I love myself! I sure as hell am pro-female :) As an aside about women-only gyms, to be honest that might be kind of nice because I have been creeped on enough by dudes when working out that I would like a place where that wouldn't happen. (Except that I read about how the 30-minute only circuit place works and that just seems like a terrible workout plan) In this case, although men are excluded from one women-only space, they still have EVERY OTHER GYM to work out in. And, if they want women to participate in those other gyms, they can make them comfortable places to workout by not creeping on weightlifting ladies.

      This leads into talking more about your criticism of women who act helpless or flirtatious in game in order to get results. Yeah, I completely HATE it when people act like morons, especially if it still ends in them getting loot. (Over me! The nerve!) But as much as I hate the individual for that behavior, I hate more the individual who sees it and REWARDS it. Rather than blame the player, I blame the system that ingrains in us the idea that women are helpless and in need of saving, or sexy and in need of courting. That stupid system means that when a girl goes "omg my bewbs, they hit the keyboard!" some moron goes "SO HOT! HAVE THIS EPIC WEAPON." Screw that guy! I wouldn't want to raid with a guy like him more than I wouldn't want to raid with a girl like her! If we demand everyone be treated like human beings regardless of boobs or no-boobs, then stupid guys will stop giving sexy ladies loot, and ladies can go back to being sexy whenever, and not when they want something.

      SORRY WALL OF TEXT I HAVEN'T SLEPT MUCH please return to your regularly scheduled programming :)

    4. @Akabeko - I am in GALES OF LAUGHTER over "OMG your bewbs hit the KB? So hot! Here have this epic weapon!" You should have less sleep more often so you can write hilarious things like that on my blog! But yes you're right, we do encourage that behaviour. Well, I don't, but the system does, but that crappy behaviour doesn't happen in my guild. No sirree.

    5. I try to put the "fun" in feminism. Funinism? Femfunism? I'll figure something out.

  7. Interesting post. I also am a female gamer and had my share of "attempts" however they never actually been in my guild but pugs or new comers who never last long when you don't feed them. Of all my gaming history pry to WoW I used to think it was dominated by males It wasn't till I did come to WoW i discovered other girl gamers and Gessh What a blessing that was to learn, Fresh interaction and lordy Not once have I been hit on by another girl.

    My worse experience in all would be the vent interaction had one to many who log in after they gamed and enjoyed gaming only to realise 'Oh Wow your a girl!" *eye roll* it gets old really fast cuz most of these males insistly try to offer help, Give me stuff the whole - if i be nice maybe I stand a chance act. As soon I i decline or politely exlain I dont need or better don't need they intend to get quite rude.

    I've even had guys who have been jealous of my gains in game to the point they pretty much spat out the pacifer and didnt wanna be friends because i had something they wanted or didnt have, couldnt get etc. All very petty of course its a game at the end of the day.

    However with all that said I been lucky, Teh guys i do have in my guild and consider friends online respect me more so than the average 'ZOMG it's a real girl" boy. And At the end of well first impressions stick if teh impression is good enough for me to smile and friend besides enjoy gaming no worries but that impression that sticks and is negitive.. yeah.. enuff said.

    1. @Vyx - Ty for visiting :) Oh vent interactions... yes I prefer not to open my mouth sometimes because people will comment on my accent or being female - but those days seem to have passed now because I think there are more female WoW players out there. And it's great having a good bunch. The guys I hang out with also treat everyone equally, they look at your play performance and not your sex. Makes me think that the moron sexist types are way way WAY in the minority.

  8. Hi Navimie,

    I saw that I was getting referrals from this post, so I figured I would come check it out myself and say a huge "Thank you" for including me in this. I really enjoyed reading your article and I thought you hit on some wonderful points that definitely need to be discussed.

    However, one paragraph in particular sort of stuck out to me and I will tell you why:


    If we are going to agree with each other and say that feminism should really be about equal treatment for both genders, and that maybe equalist is a better term than feminist, then we have to truly mean it.

    One of the things that I have come up against in my time as a gamer is the double standard that comes when a man can be controversial, or shocking, or an asshole, but a woman can't. A man can make a dirty joke, he can talk a lot of shit, and it's considered to be bravado, or bold, or edgy. If a woman does it, she's foul, she's trashy, it's considered to be going too far.

    I don't agree with the notion of a woman having to be the bigger person (e.g. act with decorum, act mature) simply to balance out the exact same behavior that a man may perpetuate. If he gets to be an asshole - I get to be an asshole. It's as simple as that. If a certain set of behaviors is enough to get a man showered with praise, I should be able to do the exact same thing and be treated the same.

    I also take issue with the fact that women have to have it one way or the other when it comes to our sexuality. Now I know that you said that you were suggesting a woman not use her feminine wiles to get ahead, so I know what you meant by that. But I love being a woman and I think as long as your performance is what shines through and what gets you your accolades that you have sort of earned the right to be a little playful or fun with your persona.

    I think there is a perception that if a woman is sexual or enjoys sex that it is directly tied to her performance or the praise that she receives. I don't think they have to be mutually exclusive. I don't think you should have tone down who you really are or what you enjoy so that the other side of the coin, your abilities can stand out. You should be able to enjoy both. I think you can be a girl who enjoys a good time and be someone who can still bring it when it counts.

    Phew! It felt good to get that off my chest. Like I said, I'm really glad that you wrote this post and I'm glad to see the discussion that has come up because of it. I look forward to seeing what other people have to say about this, too.

    1. @Oestrus - Oh my, thank you for dropping by and commenting!

      It's so hard to describe exactly what I'm trying to say about decorum and behaviour. I think what I'm trying to say, is that I don't like the bimbo helpless behaviour with the help me help me attitude, because I am all about doing things myself if able, and not playing the damsel in distress card. I think you can't ask for equal rights in something if you don't pull your weight. Hmm, not sure if that still came out right...

      I also love being a female, and all the perks of being female (ie dressing up, wearing dresses and makeup, crying at the movies) but I cringe at people who say they want men and women to be equal yet play the woman card to get what they want. An example: at my workplace, there was an agreement put forward by some women and applauded and supported by the men, that women in their 3rd trimester of pregnancy be taken off the on call roster. I highly disagreed with this motion. If you were able to work in your 3rd trimester, then you should be able to do on call. If you are too tired to do your on call, then you should be too tired to come to work. I worked and did on call until my 37th week of pregnancy for both my children, because I felt well. I didn't like using the "excuse" of pregnancy to get out of my on call. After all, pregnancy is a normal thing. But I can also understand that if you have a hard time with your pregnancy, and you're tired, then really you should just not work if you're not up to it. Gosh I sound like a Nazi.... but I did object to pregnant people showing up to work, sitting around because they're pregnant, and expect to be paid the same as me for doing less, JUST because they are pregnant. If you want to be paid the same as me, you have to do the same work as me. That is what I meant by equalism.

      OK enough Nazi talk! I feel like I'm digging a hole here :)

    2. Oh wow, I feel like I'm in a coffee place talking it out with my ladies. Although I need to point out my male friends share the same views on this.
      I have to say, although my post was about abuse in general with a mere example of something personal to jump start my post, I agree completely with O. Yes of course there are women that will take advantage of some situations but there are men that will do the same so I won't travel down that road. O makes an excellent point on delivering the punch line however.
      "I don't agree with the notion of a woman having to be the bigger person"
      But I would change this a little bit. I think we all need to strive into being the bigger persons. No matter what sex. I don't agree however how its perceived that the woman in comparison to a guy needs to actually be the BIGGEST person.

    3. I couldn't agree more with you, Kat. We *all* need to be bigger people. It always feels like when someone is asked to be the bigger person, it is solely because someone else *couldn't* be the bigger person, and you're sort of having to pick up their slack in that department. But everyone just agrees to the bigger person all the time, then we wouldn't really have that problem. Wouldn't that be something?!

      I also get what you're trying to say, Nav. There's a difference in being unable to pull your own weight and unwilling to pull your own weight. Someone who is unwilling doesn't necessarily have the right to ask for more equality or more privilege, while someone who genuinely can't do more for themselves may be able to. I understand perfectly. At least I think I did.

      Man, you sound like you were a trooper when you were pregnant. I commend you for staying as strong as you did and still carrying on with your business like nothing had changed. I think if a woman knows that she is experiencing a pregnancy that prevents her from doing such things there are options like FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act), or maternity leave, etc. to get out of that responsibility. But to come to work and mope and gloat just doesn't seem right.

      Mind you, I have never *been* pregnant and probably wouldn't be (God help us all if that ever becomes possible), but that's how I tend to view things like that.


    4. @Oestrus - I wasn't trying to sound like a trooper LOL reading back on my comment I feel like I need to get off my high horse! I was trying to search for an example of where I disagree with pulling out the woman card and expect equality without pulling our weight - no pregnant pun intended.

    5. I meant "trooper" as a compliment, not as anything negative. Sorry if it came out as such.

    6. She IS a trooper! I have a friend who didnt really get out of bed since she got pregnant. And not cause she felt that bad lol So yeah, power to you girl!

    7. @Oestrus - Oh, no offence taken at all! I took it as a compliment! I just realised when I reread it may have sounded a bit... you know...

  9. Hey Nav,
    First of all, thanks for the huge pick me up, I'm truly blushing :)
    Fact is I don't consider myself especially great but, I do take pride of the fact that I am great at always doing my best and continuously working hard to achieve that.
    In many ways I am like you, to be honest mostly I go about my time in WoW without really noticing any significant sexist behaviors towards myself or other women I know. That said, I can tell you it's probably because I don't let what people say affect me. This doesn't mean that its not happening however. What about all the other women that are constantly being discriminated? Not all raiders are in a hardcore guild that you only get judged by your logs and such. What about the smaller guilds where people are more casual therefore leaving an opening for people to criticize harshly their peers? I remember reading recently how a female player was told from her GM "I would make you an officer but I don't because you get your period every month and I don't appreciate bitchiness at any given point". Forgive me I don't remember what blogger was that :-/ Thankfully I haven't been in such a situation.
    I 'm not trying to push out there that only women are being bullied though. The point of my post was that abusive behavior is not just directed towards women.
    Yesterday for example I found myself leveling my little druid. I was going kitty and the shaman healer let us die. I noticed in the meters that he was doing more dps than any on the team and no healing at all. So I said "Maybe if you healed instead of dps?" Meaning, probably he/she had by mistake went into the dungeon as heals but intended going as dps instead. No biggie, I've done it myself. I was expecting him to laugh and be all like"Damn I checked the wrong box" but his answer was" Shut the F*** up, you idiot ignorant, that was my fire totem".
    Bang. Not sexist, just purely abusive.
    Now , I know how to dispute him easily. Skada meter is the perfect spy. I didn't. Instead I trolled him all the way up until the end of the dungeon loving every minute of it. There is nothing prettier than getting a bully confused when they see no matter what they say has no affect whatsoever. My question here though is this. Why is this something that goes unnoticed. What if you went to the supermarket and told the teller "Hey I think you charged me twice for this product" and he responded " Shut the F*** up, you idiot ignorant, that was my cashier machine". Lets see. Immediately calling the manager and have him in anger management in no time. But in WoW its common practice. And it appears to me that only few seem to care. What is up with that seriously?

  10. @Kat - Hey thanks for dropping by! And you can't expect to write for Matticus and not get seen :P
    I did say at the end of my post that clamping down on derogatory behaviour should extend not just to females. I think people do care but don't know what to do about it. You don't want to fall into the trap of hurling abuse back and being no better than the original nasty person. But an example in a BG last week showed how we can stand up to crappy behaviour. We were losing and one person kept hurling out constant streams of abuse "You f***ers don't know how to play." "I have to carry you retards." "F*** you can't even hold one base." It went on and on, BG chat was full of his morale lowering comments. I said "Look, if we're so terrible, why don't you just leave? :) It would be better for everyone." And more abuse ensued. I whispered one person he hurled abuse at and told them not to ignore him. So I said in BGchat "Maybe if we all label him AFK he might go away."
    Someone replied "He has to stop moving if that's to happen."
    And another person said "Well, I for one will stop healing him."
    And someone else "Me too."
    And then he left the BG. And we continued our BG. We lost but one of the people said "Ty for the game anyway everyone." I thought it was a nice conclusion, and showed that together we can stand up to nasty bulliers.

    1. Thats one of the problems with these people. They falsely believe this game belongs to them. And that all the other players owes them.
      Very nicely handled there Nav !

  11. To be perfectly honest, I agree with everything you said and to try to add or reiterate any of it would be a waste and a detriment to what you've written. In fairness, I'm a guy so I am not subjected to the same situations as a woman but I also take great pride in putting someone in their place when I see them try it. Like you said, it's equality. There's no other word for it, just as there shouldn't be for various ethnic backgrounds.

    Then again you DID think I was a woman...

    1. @JDKenada - which means that now you're a guy (not saying you WEREN'T a guy before... wait no, that came out wrong), I think of you exactly the same! Equality, right? :)

  12. It depends on what people say and who says it. Sometimes I just let it roll off my back because in a lot of cases you won't ever see these people again. I told you about one recently which I won't go into here but at the time it did bother me.

    Essentially, it depends on my mood at the time. I always thought it was a bit funny how you would use the term 'slut plate' and such, esp after applecider's post but good post. I'm glad you gave so much thought to it.

    1. @Cymre - I forget how things I say which aren't offensive to me can be offensive to others. Slut plate is one of those silly terms to me but I remember reading cider's post she hates that word.

  13. On my dog walk I composed this huge hysterical rant comment, I mean I think I was so into it my lips were moving because a few cars slowed down to gawk at me.

    As usual I forgot most of it as soon as I got to the computer. Probably for the best. There are so many "isms" to worry about I think if we all just would be excellent to each other it would probably cover most of them. I'm with you Navi, or behind you ... or beside you ... or wherever you want me to stand!

    I know we are all not going to be excellent to each other as frankly a lot of us (all genders) are complete idiots but I can hope, and try to at least do my part.

  14. I know that this is probably going to sound horribly anecdotal - but the only males that I've ever really run into issues with as a female gamer have been in one of two categories: the 18-24 age group or in the military/former military. Now, to be fair, I've had plenty of wonderful experiences with other players that fall into those two groups as well - but I've never had a problem with players outside of those groups. I have my own ideas on why that is, but I'll let you philosophize your own thoughts on it!

    With regards to feminism, or any "ism" for that matter, I'm just kind of, well, me. I have my own thoughts and beliefs, and very often they run the entire gamut of idiologies. I'm actually pretty firmly in the camp that feels everyone is entitled to have their views and opinions and I respect those - as long as they can respect my views and opinions and don't force theirs onto me.

    As for the game, I just want to play. I don't really care if those I play with are male, female, gay, straight, brown, purple, or blue - as long as I enjoy spending time with them and they can fufill whatever niche is asked of them.

  15. @TotA - I know your thoughts on the matter already but I appreciate you coming to visit the post anyway :)
    @Beru - Oh MY, hi Beru! Thank you for visiting! I know what you're trying to say, that you just want to get down and do your thing, and that most of the time people are ok. I wrote this post mostly because I wondered why it was that some people seem to get more of it than I do. And the post kind of... exploded!

