Your child had just been diagnosed with leukemia. And while a leukemia diagnosis is not necessarily as dire as it once was for children, it will nevertheless turn your world inside out.

Your other children are also caught up in this event. Their brother or sister, the one they played with, fought with, and identified with, is very ill. And while your plate is full right now, you need to make room for your other children, who will need your attention as well.

When One Child Has Leukemia: 10 Tips to Help Siblings Cope

  • Talk it out. When a brother or sister is diagnosed with leukemia, it can be a crushing emotional blow for the child who isn't sick. "Some might feel it's their fault, feel guilty, and regret things they did to their sibling," says Robin Goodman, PhD, director of and director of Public Education Programs at the New York University Child Study Center. Communication is key in these situations. Depending on the child's age, parents may have to adjust their explanations, but it's critical to be as honest as possible. Also, let children know that it's okay to be fearful, anxious, sad, and angry.
  • Answer their questions. Siblings may ask questions that bring raw emotional concerns to the forefront. They may want to know what will happen if their sibling dies — from the emotional impact to what will happen to their stuff. If they don't want to ask questions, however, don't force them, says Goodman. Let them deal in their own way.
  • Offer constant emotional support. Everyone in the family needs to acknowledge they may need some emotional support, including siblings. Parents need to be ready to provide this for their other children, whether it's through a faith program, a professional therapist, or even a school guidance counselor. Another thing to consider: Have at least one parent available for the siblings each day.
  • Introduce them to kindred spirits. No one will understand what the sick child's sibling is going through better than another child whose sibling has leukemia. Look through support group channels like the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, CancerCare, the American Cancer Society, and for other kids who might identify and be willing to e-mail or chat with your sick child's sibling.
  • Treat them all the same. Goodman says one of the most troubling things she sees parents of sick children do is to totally change the way they treat them. That suggests to the siblings that the sick child might die, she says. You have to acknowledge and consider their illness, but don't treat them like a fragile piece of china that might break.
  • Stay alert to their changing needs. Kids whose sibling has cancer have lost a lot, Goodman says. "They may have lost a playmate, a friend," she says, "but they also lose their sense of normalcy." Remember that the kids who aren't sick are also dealing with loss and upheaval, and so it's important to treat them with compassion. Stay alert to any changes in their behavior, and when they see you cry and under stress, reassure them that you'll get through this.
  • Try to maintain a normal routine. One of the most upsetting things for everyone in the family can be the total wreckage of their normal day-to-day life. Try to keep the siblings' routine as intact as possible.
  • Create a help network. If you need help to make things as normal as possible, then ask for it, even though asking is hard, Goodman says. For example, enlist friends and family to drive siblings to after-school activities when you aren't able to.
  • Let them tell you what they need. Don't force what you perceive the sibling's needs to be on them, Goodman says. Let them cope in their own way, and just continue to love them and try to help them maintain some semblance of normalcy, she says.
  • Help them be involved. Your other children probably will want to help however they can during this family crisis. Depending on their age, let them change diapers, read stories, or help with homework.

The illness of one child does impact the entire family, but this can be a time when everyone comes together and, if every member's emotional needs can be helped, becomes a stronger family unit as a result.