EVI SHAW: The value of resilience

SAN ANGELO, Texas - This time of year there are several resources on how to cope with holiday stress. No matter what, stress is stress. It can evolve from health issues, financial troubles, relationship problems, changes in employment, death and so much more.

It is interesting to notice how people respond and cope differently to life-altering changes. Some people cave in at the slightest discomfort, while others tough it out because they want to believe that nothing ever stays the same and things will change from uncomfortable to greater comfort.

Being able to adapt to uncomfortable changes and situations is helpful in managing stress and discomfort. This ability is called resilience. In our private lives and news stories, we have encountered people who bounce right back against seemingly all odds. They tend to heal faster after surgery than their counterparts who are so focused on how awful and stressful it is. Resilient people certainly experience distress and discomfort during trying times, but they exhibit certain behaviors conducive to restoring balance in their lives.

Resilient people tend to exercise more, which is an antidote to stress on a physiological and psychological level. It increases neurotransmitters, which are natural antidepressants. The social aspect, such as walking with a friend and sharing thoughts and feelings, can also be comforting.

Resilient people are more optimistic because they have faith in their ability to overcome obstacles. They also take better care of themselves by eating what is good for them, getting enough sleep, practicing deep relaxation and making time for fun activities. They nourish their inner child. Frequently, I have suggested to my stressed-out patients that they might go fly a kite. That brings a smile as they remember the fun they had as a child and think about doing it again. I also suggest that they limit watching news to 10 minutes a day on TV. This informs them what they need to know and they can avoid all the bad things happening in the world that can increase anxiety and depression. The bad news shown far outweighs the good.

Resilient people also tend to have structure in their lives such as daily routines instead of stress producing chaos. They gracefully accept help from others and are able to delegate work that needs to be done.

One size does not fit all. We are all unique, and that is a good thing. Should you still feel overwhelmed and unable to feel better, make an appointment with your psychotherapist or counselor and have him or her help you to become more resilient in tough times.

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