Why Husband And Wife Do Not Understand Each Other

As is well known, men and women are physically and by nature are not alike. They react to situations differently and deal with information in a different way.

It is important for a husband and wife to understand these differences so that they can handle dissimilarities between them deftly to make their marital relationship enjoyable. Dr. John Gray Ph.D., the author of the best-selling book “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” and its sequels mentions that most men and women are not aware how they are not alike.

As many long-time married people confess, married couples do not know each other most of the time. This lack of communication between the couple is generally the root cause of misapprehensions and quarrels causing serious emotional damage in their relationship

According to the latest findings of neuroscientists there are many variations in the genetic structure of the brains between men and women. These dissimilarities explain why men and women are quite different from each other.

Scientists have observed that men’s brains are divided into several unrelated regions to perform certain specific functions such as language, memory, speech, emotions and so on. These unrelated portions are organized similar to marinating a filing system in a filing cabinet.

Men are capable of accessing only one region of the brain to resolve a particular “mental task” before they can shift to another area of the brain to tackle a different issue. The research studies have established that only a small number of concentrated portions of men’s brains get stimulated when they are carrying out a particular assignment. This means that men shine in doing only one job at a time.

On the other hand, when women are assigned a mental task, many regions in the left and right hemispheres of the brain become active. There are numerous correlated events that connect one location with another region of the brain.

There is a huge network of nerves in women’s brains. That is the reason why women are capable of carrying out several tasks at a time like conversing with people, listening to them, retaining a lot of information and evaluating several issues .

They can cope with their career, take care of household work and also look after babies. The dissimilarities in functions of the brain of men and women are the major causes of communication related conflicts between married couple.

Women should avoid overpowering their husbands with numerous issues at a time. They should not pass on loads of information to their husbands about which they have no idea. The husbands will either ignore them or refuse to listen to them or even react violently with physical or verbal ill-treatment.

The way of communicating with husbands is quite different from talking to either women friends or family members. In order to ensure a healthy and happy marital relationship in the long run, women should first understand that they are different from their husbands in many ways, decide what makes a better married life over the years and take necessary measures to narrow any difference that might have arisen between the couple.

Women should be practical in ensuring a sound marital relationship as they are endowed with a better linkage of brain cells. Moreover, these cells are augmented with “neuro transmitter dopamine” in the language and memory sections of the brain, which spreads messages among a large network of nerves to the various locations of the brain.

Women should always don the role of a tactician in the married life as men do not have as much dopamine as women have. Women are better accustomed in language and memory faculties and are in a more advantageous position than men in communication skills.

However, there are also many men who can communicate better than women because of their childhood background and training. For a better interaction between couple, women should avoid finding fault in their husbands’ deficiencies in communication abilities.

They should be affectionate, considerate and helpful. Admiration for any positive action of husband and earnestness will elicit a positive response from him. In order to draw attention of the husband on an issue, the wife should be brief to make home her point or otherwise, he will feel bored.

If there is any specific issue that needs a solution, the wife, instead of burdening him with finding a solution, should convey to her husband that he can simply listen to her and confirm her approach. This method may be helpful on certain issues and ensures that the husband is not blamed for her misery.

In a married life, there should be understanding between the couple. If wife appreciates her husband for his listening to her problems, the husband, on his part, will be able to assist her. The best way of avoiding misunderstanding due to communication gaps is a proper rapport between the couple. This type of approach will certainly strengthen the marital bond.

2 thoughts on “Why Husband And Wife Do Not Understand Each Other

  1. Denise

    I think men and women do communicate very differently but this article puts much of the burden on the woman. It’s so true that men always try to find solutions to every problem where as women just want to vent and be heard. I think offering resources on your site to help couples after an affair is great. It often can’t be done without help.

    1. Will Post author

      The mind of a man is wired in a very unique way. Whenever he encounters a problem, he will immediately go into solution mode. Sometimes, his action may seem insensitive to a woman and that is when challenges in the relationship starts.


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