INTJ Personality and Emotions

INTJs are defined by their confidence, logic, and exceptional decision-making, but all of this hides a turbulent underbelly – their emotions. The very notion of emotional expression is synonymous with irrationality and weakness to many INTJs, a display of poor self-governance and fleeting opinion that can hardly stand up to the enduring light of factual truth.

This mistrust of emotions is understandable, as Feeling (F) is the most weakly developed trait for INTJs – like any complex tool, skilled hands can use it to remarkable effect, while untrained hands make clumsy and dangerous work.

People with the INTJ personality type take pride in remaining rational and logical at all times, considering honesty and straightforward information to be paramount to euphemisms and platitudes in almost all circumstances. In many ways though, these qualities of coolness and detachment aren't the weapons of truth that they appear to be, but are instead shields designed to protect the inner emotions that INTJs feel. In fact, because their emotions are such an underdeveloped tool, INTJs often feel them more strongly than many overtly emotional types because they simply haven't learned how to control them effectively.

There Is Not a Truth Existing Which I Fear

This is a challenging paradigm for INTJs to manage, especially younger and more Turbulent types who are already less confident than they would like to appear. These feelings are contrary to INTJs' idea of themselves as paragons of logic and knowledge, and they may go so far as to claim they have no emotions at all. This does not mean that people with the INTJ personality type should be seen as, nor should they aspire to be, cold-blooded and insensitive geniuses living by the mantra that emotions are for the weak. INTJs must understand that this isn't the case, and isn't ever going to be.

INTJ personality and emotionsMore mature and Assertive INTJs find more useful ways to manage their feelings. While they will never be comfortable with a truly public display of emotions, INTJs can learn to use them, to channel them alongside their logic to help them achieve their goals. While seemingly contradictory, this can be done in several ways.

Firstly, INTJs are goal-oriented, with long-term ideas founded on sound logic. When something does cause an emotional reaction, good or bad, that energy can be used to further those goals, aiding rational and pre-determined plans. Secondly, emotions are figurative canaries in the coal mine, indicating that something is off even though logic can't see it yet. These feelings can help INTJs to use their logic to ask questions they may not have thought to ask. "This is upsetting. Why? What can be done to resolve it?"

Question With Boldness

In this way, emotions are not INTJs' way of addressing a decision, but rather an indication that a decision needs to be addressed. INTJ personalities' Thinking (T) trait acts as a protective big brother to their Feeling (F) trait – seeing that something has upset the less able sibling, it steps in to take action, letting logic do the talking and resolving the condition rather than complaining about its consequences.

There comes a time though, when logic is simply the wrong tool for the job, when there just isn't a rational solution to a problem, and it is in these situations that INTJs must use their Feeling (F) trait most clearly. INTJs would do well to practice this from time to time, or at least be aware of it, because however they may try, it is impossible to truly separate emotion from the decision-making process. The fact is that INTJs do feel, and deeply, and this makes them better, not worse.


Your name:
Sep 01, 2015 01:02:02
Why do the INTJs have an Emotions page while other types don't?
Aug 14, 2015 04:24:45
In response to some older comments, it seems like the only time I really repress or don't openly express emotion is when I put them on my mental "deal with later" list, or when that emotion would be inconveniencing to people around me, though the emotion is still felt
Aug 14, 2015 04:14:41
I am guessing that I am not a strong INTJ when it comes to emotions. For me, there are times for logic and times to feel as strongly as anyone else, and I find myself competent in both areas.
Jun 25, 2015 12:48:32
I'm not an Intj, my mother is, I just want to ask the Intj to not have children unless they learn how to show emotions and be supportive to their children, my mother never hugged me and she rarely kissed me, she probably never told me that she loves me and the list goes on and on, she also never showed me that she is happy or even interested that I'm going to marry the love of my life, she says love doesn't exist because anyone who loves you needs something for you, and since only God doesn't need anything from you then he is the only one that loves you!
Jun 26, 2015 17:36:27
I am an INTJ and this exactly why I don't want children myself. First, I absolutely hate children, being with them is nothing but annoying to me. Second, I know that I wouldn't give them any emotional support since I can't even handle my own emotions and really dislike feeling them. I would probably end up like your mother. I suppose I should be glad I am gay, this minimizes the chances of having children.
And to what your mother says about "love" : I partly agree with her, I think that "love" as many view it doesn't exist, but it really depends on your own definition. I also agree in her point that everyone wants something in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, it does not have to be money or something material, pleasing someone psychicly also counts. The point I really don't get though is why she brings up God. I mean, she knows that love doesn't exist, so she should also figure out that "God" is really similar to it. Well, fair enough I guess.
Jul 27, 2015 19:46:54
That's a really hard way to be raised, I'm sorry. But you need to remember that your mother is/was not a representative of all INTJs. And if she was it was entirely inaccurate. All 16 personalities aside, parenting boils down to maturity, and capacity to fully love. Any type Is capable of becoming a wonderful parent.
Aug 13, 2015 10:42:36
I cry a lot too.
Jun 25, 2015 07:48:12
...Well, nobody will find out the truth if I never tell anyone I'm an INTJ. Problem solved... Haha.
Jul 14, 2015 22:45:49
...unless they're like me and have all this down pat and simply figure out the types in their lives..