By Raising Children Network
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Toddler laughing cheekily

Swearing: why children do it


Children might also be trying to express a feeling such as frustration. Or they might simply be saying the word because it sounds funny or gets a reaction. 

Children might also be imitating others when they swear.

What to do about swearing: immediate action



If your child continues to swear, or you feel it’s a good opportunity to teach her about swearing, try talking to her about her choice of words. For example, you could say, ‘We don’t use words that upset people’.



Should you explain what the word means?

Children over the age of four years can get some good out of a simple explanation. If you think your child might have some understanding of the meaning of the word, you can ask him what he thinks the word means. Then use general terms to explain why it’s not appropriate. For example, you could say, ‘That is a word for private body parts, and it’s not nice to use’.

What to do about swearing: longer term

  • It’s a good idea for the adults in your home to discuss and agree on acceptable language. For example, in some families, expressions such as ‘damn’ are OK, but other words are not.
  • Discuss your family rules about acceptable language with your child. For example, you might say, ‘Please use a nicer word’, or ‘We don’t use words like that’.
  • If you find it difficult to stop swearing yourself, try to find alternative words to use or another way to deal with the situation. Adults often swear when they’re frustrated or angry. Instead of swearing, try to say something like, ‘I feel really frustrated or angry’. This way you are modelling better ways of expressing feelings.
  • Be aware of what your child watches, listens to and plays with. That means supervising and checking the ratings on TV, movies and other multimedia and music. Our child-friendly movie reviews look at movies and DVDs to help you decide what’s suitable for your child. It’s also a good idea to have the computer and TV in a part of the house where you can easily see them.
  • Praise your child when you notice her dealing appropriately with anger or frustration. For example, if your child tells you that a playmate was using swear words to tease her, praise your child for walking away from the situation and not using those words herself.

Preschoolers (and some toddlers) can be intrigued by private body parts and bodily functions. They might start to use words such as ‘bum head’, ‘poo face’ and ‘farty’. Although some of these words might be unacceptable in your house, this is a phase that most children go through. They’re just testing out the words and your reactions. Ignoring the words or letting your child know that they can’t be used will help curb this behaviour.

Children who hear swear words can often get used to them. This makes it more likely the children will use these words themselves.

Tackling swearing by dealing with the cause 


  • If your child is swearing because it gets your attention or a good reaction from you, try to make sure you don’t react at all, stay calm and ignore the word. Give attention and praise when your child uses polite language.
  • If the swearing is because of anger, you can teach your child that angry feelings are OK. But it’s better for your child to express his feelings using more appropriate words, or to get away from what is making him angry. For example, if your child is angry with a playmate, tell him to walk away or ask an adult for help with the situation.
  • If the swearing is because of frustration, talk your child through the steps to sorting out problems for herself. For example, if she has lost a toy, suggest she looks in the last place she was playing, then in her bedroom, and so on.
  • Teach your child alternative ways to deal with anger and frustration. This could include counting to 10, taking deep breaths, or talking about angry feelings.
  • Encourage your child to use alternative words that aren’t offensive. For example, you could suggest, ‘flip’ or ‘shivers’ or even funny words that you and your child make up together.

Where did my child hear that word?


Not all children learn swear words from their parents. Research suggests that exposure to swear words on TV can lead to an increase in swearing in children. As children get older, their friends and peers will influence their choice of words too.

  • Last updated or reviewed 13-08-2015