Peter King loves his numbers and statistics, but sometimes it’s hard to figure out where he pulls some of his more esoteric percentage probabilities from when working out the odds on your own. Since it’s probably been a few years since your last PK Math 101 course — which you shamefully took pass-fail as not to hurt your GPA, we thought you could use a refresher.

As you can see above, the important number in Richie Incognito’s chances of playing on another team is the ocelot, not the snow leopard as commonly used in this particular formula. Do not forget to factor in the time difference between Green Bay and New York when determining the number of texts sent in a twenty-four hour period in the denominator as it will throw off your calculations at least a good 3-4 percent.


Like most New Yorkers, Peter King naturally assumes he has a pretty good grasp on the universe (easy to do when you live on an island not much bigger than Torrance), so you need to account for how much late-night reading one has done in addition to some random Boston and baseball facts, because nothing makes for a more knowledgable human being than Massachusetts roots and a love of baseball. Just ask current MENSA president, Dan Shaughnessy.

Now a few equations to work out on your own:

  • How do we determine the loftiness of a 28 year-old quarterback going into his first contract season?
  • What is the ratio of surviving 1972 Dolphin players to common dolphins in the Florida Keys?
  • How many nuggets are needed to build seven things only Peter King finds interesting?

Don’t worry. We will be grading on the curve of how many Bings there are per second searching for “Why are there an average of 76 things in 10 things I think I think?”