"Be the Change you Wish to see in the World"

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Thesis Statement re-dos

1. "Road rage can cause numerous negative effects on our highways."

--Thesis Statement: "Road rage has numerous negative effects on the highways such as lack of attention on the road, bumper-to-bumper accidents, and speeding."

2. "Violence in Disney films"

--Thesis Statement: "Disney films, although mostly G-rated, display some violence in their films through superhero battles, villains, and animal cruelty."

3. "In this paper, I will discuss the different types of ants."

--Thesis Statement: "Like most animals, ants can be divided into different categories such as red ants and bull ants."

4. "Human kindness can be seen in the eyes of rescued animals."

--Thesis Statement: "Animals are rescued every day by human kindness through adoption, veterinarians, and animal rescue."

5. "I want to look at the reasons for droughts."

--Thesis Statement: "Droughts can be prevented by reducing their causes such as deforestation and global warming."

6. "Stephen King is the author of The Shining."

--Thesis Statement: "Stephen King deserves literary success for his works like The Shining, Carrie, and Pet Cemetery."

7. "The Titanic sank in the Atlantic Ocean"

--Thesis Statement: "The disaster of the Titanic sinking in the Atlantic Ocean can be contributed through the excessive speed of the ship, lack of lifeboats, and lack of preparation for the disaster."

8. Drug addiction in America

--Thesis Statement: "Many wonder why the drug addiction in America has increased through the years but experts say it's due to increase in poverty and a decrease in the graduation rates in the country."

9. "Saving Private Ryan is a very good movie."

--Thesis Statement: "Saving Private Ryan was one of the most critically acclaimed films in history because of the money it made at its release, the realistic look of the film, and the actors."

10. "I will show why rabbits make poor pets"

--Thesis Statement: "Rabbits do not make good domestic pets because of their fast reproduction rate, their eating habits, and distract small children."

12. "The drop-dead gorgeous realm of beauty pageants"

--Thesis Statement: "Beauty pageants are not always glamorous and have been caught in some scandals involving drugs, cheating, and foul play."

13. "School uniforms are necessary"

--Thesis Statement: "School uniforms will increase good behavior in school districts around the area because focus is on school and not clothes, gang colors are disaffiliated, and peer pressure about brands of clothes is taken away."

14. "William Shakespeare wrote Macbeth, Hamlet, and The Tempest."

--Thesis Statement: "Shakespeare has inspired many modern writers through key works like Macbeth, Hamlet, and The Tempest."


428thMP said...

I like most of your thesis statements, I noticed you mostly used 3 main points in each one which was good. I think #13 is slightly long but my favorite one was #12. Good job overall.


428thMP said...

It looks like you use a pattern for your thesis statements, so if that's your method, I guess it works pretty good.


Josh Zumbro said...

I thought you did very well with your thesis statements. I also noticed the similar patterns that you used but, I also did a similar method with most of mine. I also noticed that you left out number 11 but it was already a decent thesis statement. But overall i thought you did good job.

emily said...


Thesis Papers Writing