Reconciliation is something that happens throughout life for most people. It could be a minor reconciliation over misunderstood directions, plans, or promises, or it could be a major reconciliation when the break between two or more people has been very serious. Reconciliation occurs between family, friends, and lovers. Almost every relationship experiences problems from time to time. Reconciliation is a time of smoothing out wrinkles in a relationship, a time of forgiveness, negotiating, acceptance, understanding, and receiving something that you want from the other person as well.

reconciliationThe act of reconciliation or of being friends again or deciding to work together again, happens more frequently than many people realize. Minor reconciliation takes place after you are upset that a coworker who did not do their part of a job as promised. You are upset, decide not to work with the person, and after thinking about it, you forgive them and give them another chance. The same thing could happen between a business that you believe did not give you a good deal. You may decide to give them another chance to deliver the product that you ordered. This is reconciliation. It happens all of the time between world governments and between the governments of individual countries. In the U.S., the Republicans try to use reconciliation to pass their budget in the Senate. This means that they use a “give and take” measure because reconciliation involves negotiation. If one party does this, then the other one will do that.

True forgiveness is an important part of reconciliation. It means that we no long expect the friend, family member, or lover who offended us, or who we believe offended us, to make restitution any longer. We literally let go of the incident in our minds, giving up our resentment, anger, and indignation. This does not mean that we approve of what the person did. Reconciliation is so important because we really love ourselves when we forgive others. We do this not allowing the incident or event to rule our thoughts. We love ourselves by allowing peace, happiness, and positive feelings enter our minds once again.

Humans are not designed to be in a state of anger, disappointment, or to continually have hurt feelings. These are common when we have had a misunderstanding with another person, or if someone offends us in a minor or major way. Mentally healthy people are able to control their feelings, and they do not allow everyday interactions that momentarily upset them rule their lives. Those who harbor anger experience negative physical and mental responses in their body. Their blood pressure rises, they may have headaches, stomach problems, and feel nervous. If it continues, they may develop a negative attitude toward life. If this feeling occurs often because they allow others to rule their feelings, research studies reveal that a person can develop heart disease and possibly cancer. The foolishness of harboring anger is that the one who was offended ends up punishing themselves, not the other person.

When reconciliation occurs, people are mentally free once again. They can be loving friends, family members, or lovers who can go on with their lives in peace, but they will not have the mental and physical stress any longer. They may approach the relationship with caution at first to avoid getting hurt again, but before long, they may eventually completely trust the person again. Even if complete trust is not possible, the person will experience better health emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

So how does reconciliation take place? The first step is always to discuss the incident that upset you in a calm way. It is not a good idea to talk about it when you are angry because you may say something out of anger that you do not really mean. Once the event simmers down, it may not seem as important either. Also, many times the words that offended you or the action that upset you can be discussed. Negotiation can take place, as in the case of reconciliation with a lover. If the person knows that something upsets you, they will try not to do it again if they truly love you. Your lives can then move forward, and if this person continues to cause you unhappiness, you have the choice to leave the relationship or try reconciliation once again.