Everybody Panic: Dog Sperm Is in Trouble

No, really, pay attention.

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Dog sperm isn't doing so hot.

According to New Scientist, researchers at the University of Nottingham concluded sperm motility in dogs decreased by 2.5 percent from 1988 to 1998 and 1. 2 percent from 2002 to 2014. Further, the male puppies fathered by dogs with worse semen were more likely to have cryptorchidism, meaning, bluntly, that their balls didn't drop like they should.

"This is the first time that such a decline in male fertility has been reported in the dog and we believe this is due to environmental contaminants, some of which we have detected in dog food and in the sperm and testes of the animals themselves," said lead researcher Richard Lea.

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So, what? There are millions of strays, millions in shelters, and millions of pet dogs that get fixed regardless. The researchers say that because humans share environments and diseases with dogs, the same factors could be damaging human sperm motility as well.

Dog food, unless you get the really good (expensive) shit, contains preservatives, artificial flavoring, and other chemicals. The ingredient label may read "meat" first, but according to the FDA, most of that "meat" weight is actually water weight, and the meat itself is "meat meal." So, dog food can be about the equivalent of chicken nuggets. Delicious. Male fertility sites commonly suggest that men (human or otherwise) follow organic diets if planning to conceive, as multiple studies have connected pesticide exposure with lower sperm concentration. Over 26 years of dog semen later, and the new numbers back up those findings.

If you care about your sperm—but more importantly, if you care about your dog's sperm—then going organic might not be such an insufferable idea.

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