How South Africa is learning to live with mixed-race couples

  • 23 April 2014
  • From the section Africa
Mpho Lakaje, his wife Daniela and son Mpho jnr
Mpho Lakaje, his wife Daniela and son Mpho jnr

Under apartheid inter-racial relationships were banned in South Africa. Journalist Mpho Lakaje, who is married to a white woman, reflects on how the country has changed in the 20 years since the end of white minority rule.




My peers from Soweto were equally opposed.



The Mandela effect






The same month that Mr Mandela left prison in February 1990, I celebrated my 10th birthday.


Mpho's family was steeped in the fight against apartheid led by figures such as Nelson Mandela (R) and Oliver Tambo

But the tone in my family gradually changed as we approached South Africa's first democratic elections in 1994.



I was now living in a cosmopolitan environment.



As a result, I had a burning desire to travel.

Fortunately for me, many of my dreams came true. I became a journalist and joined the BBC World Service, getting an opportunity to see the globe.

Changing attitudes

In 2007 I met Daniela Casetti-Bowen, who had come from Chile to study tourism in South Africa. We became friends and later started dating. Two years later, against her family's will, we moved in together.

Mpho and his wife say their experience is better than many

Daniela's uncle, who arrived in South Africa in the early 1980s, was extremely sceptical about our relationship. He refused to let me inside their house. Daniela's white South African friends also warned her about dating a black boy from Soweto.








Where once black and whites would never have mixed, occasions such as sporting events bring South Africans together



But some members of my family remain totally opposed to our views. They feel that Daniela needs to follow or perform most of our traditions.

For example, shortly after our son was born, Daniela was supposed to spend 10 days at my mother's house with the baby. But for us, this was not practical.



Bevin van Rooyen is a coloured (mixed-race) man who was born in Johannesburg. He met his girlfriend Jacqueline Louw, a white South African, while studying at an arts college in Johannesburg.

Born in 1984, Bevin, like me, did not experience much racism while growing up because South Africa was beginning to change.

"I only started experiencing racism when I met Jacqueline's family," Bevin tells me. "I was completely shocked. I did not know what was happening."


"From the beginning, it was a problem with me not being white. I was not welcome in the house. Her dad had issues," Bevin tells me.


"When they found out, they kicked her out of the house and she had to move in with me and my folks," Bevin remembers.

'Engraved racial classification'

Another friend, Jake Scott, arrived in South Africa in 2009 and is now a citizen. He was born and raised in West Virginia in the United States. His mother is white and his father is an African-American.

Sign posts indicating whites only areas were common during the apartheid era


"At times somebody would refer me as a white person. There are times I would say: 'Wait a second, I'm black'," Jake says.


"This racial classification is very engraved," he says. "It's like in the psyche of South Africans."



My country is definitely not where it was 20 years ago. We have made progress.