By Kerby T. Alvy, Ph.D.

Eight Alternatives to Slapping or Spanking Children


Corporal punishment (hitting, slapping, spanking) can result in a number of personal tragedies, such as children becoming abusers themselves, or even worse, death. Help prevent corporal punishment among children by opting for one of these eight examples of discipline that don't involve getting physical.  


Another tragic example of parental corporal punishment that spiraled out of control occurred recently in Phoenix, AZ, when a six-year-old boy named Jacob was beaten severely by his parents. Because of the extent of his injuries (which were likely caused by a belt buckle and possibly a wire hanger according to the police), Jacob isn't expected to survive. little girl standing in the corner of the room holding stuffed animal

Over the years countless innocent children like Jacob have been disfigured, maimed and even killed by their parents who believed that such harsh physical discipline was somehow justified.

Physical punishment of children is never justified and is more than an occasional pat on the behind. 

Corporal punishment includes pinching, shaking, slapping, punching, spanking, hitting, and beating children with an object. Unfortunately, national surveys have shown that over the past twenty years, more than 90 percent of parents with small children admit to using one or more of these forms of corporal punishment.

Studies have shown that using these methods can result in serious and tragic longer-term effects such as the children becoming abusive parents themselves, which may well be the situation with the parents involved in the Phoenix case.

So what can be done instead?


1. Prevention


2. Show Disappointment 


3. Take Away a Privilege


4. Give a "Time Out" 


5. Catch Them Being Good


6. Create a Contract (especially with teenagers)


7. Be Empathetic 


8. Take a Parenting Course


Let's give our children the same right to be free of physical punishment that we adults have been reserving for ourselves. Human beings - young or old - are not for hitting.

Kerby T. Alvy, Ph.D. is child psychologist and executive director of the Center for the Improvement of Child Caring. More info and his most recent book, The Soulful Parent: Raising Healthy, Happy and Successful African American Children, are available on