Satiric advice on gun use

Marion Hammer might enlarge her understanding of the effects of guns in America by reading the comic treatment of this subject found in “Revocation of Independence,” written in 2000. The British were quick to “revoke” our independence in the election confusion of that year, suggesting things such teaching “real” English and this treatment of the effects of our reliance on guns to solve problems:

“Article 14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should be only handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.”

This is satire, but in this case there is plenty of food for thought.



Now for something different

With the growing popularity of the Forgotten Coast Highway, the time has come to reveal a little known bit of history and fact about Tate’s Hell.

The man who was lost in this inhospitable jungle wasn’t named Tate at all. His real name was Harvey P. Nudgelow. Harvey, as the story, goes wasn’t a very good outdoorsman, and he wandered into the woods, got lost and spent several harrowing days and nights in the snake-infested swamp. Threatened by bears, bobcats, alligators and his imagination, he emerged a very frightened man. While lost he had only a small pocket knife and an old compass, made by the Tate compass company. These devices were famous for not working, causing Nudgelow to wander aimlessly in circles through the sawgrass and mosquitoes.

Later, everyone realized exactly why he couldn’t find his way out of the swamp. The area now known as Tate’s Hell was named for the compass that didn’t work, not the man. Because everyone knows, “He who has a Tates is lost.”


Flat Broke Charters, Retired


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