Federal Politics


Discussing race with children crucial to building empathy

Education starts, continues and ends at home. When positive family values are missing or not passed on, children are in danger of accepting dangerous, disrespectful stereotypes instead.

With racism it is no different. So every Australian parent should thank Sydney Swans' Adam Goodes. He has been dignified and non-judgmental in handling a racist insult from a 13-year-old girl during, of all things, the AFL's Indigenous Round.

For Goodes, the girl's slur ''gutted'' him but he can be proud of the positives that have emerged since. The event has provided an education for the girl and her family. But its true worth is the lesson of empathy it provides for a multicultural nation like ours.

As her team struggled against the Swans, the girl called Goodes an ''ape''. She claims it wasn't meant to be racist. Any empathetic, respectful adult would know the potential of the term to deeply offend a proud indigenous man.

Yes, the Collingwood fan is not an adult. Goodes was right: she was an ''innocent'' and should not be vilified for her actions. That would be as shameful as those who took to social media to pile more abuse on Goodes.

But in large part the girl's age and intention does not matter, in either a legal or human sense. What matters is too many Australians like her lack the empathy to recognise how their actions can hurt others.


Now film footage shows another Collingwood fan shouting that Goodes received a free kick only because he was black. When other fans complained, they were shouted down.

Social cohesion is only possible through mutual respect for differences between people; by judging each other on character, not appearance. Every child is capable of becoming an adult who values and practises such common courtesy. You can disagree with others - that makes Australia free - but, in footy parlance, children should be taught to play the ball, not the man.

Yet psychological research shows many white parents do not discuss race with their children due to neglect, difficulty or fear of highlighting differences between people. This ''colour-blind'' approach is doomed to fail. Infants do see differences between races. From the age of six they begin to take in stereotypes.

Early reinforcement of the positives of respect and celebration of difference is important. Older children often ask questions only to have Mum or Dad shut down debate. The kids sense the race issue must be important, but with no explanation at home they are vulnerable to other influences such as peers, social media and ideological racism.

How parents and society counter emerging disrespect is crucial. The Australian Psychological Association's 1997 position paper says punishing children for behaviour verging on racism just makes them see the world as a threatening, distrustful place. So they seek power over others to maintain control over their own lives. The AFL approach to the Collingwood girl at first verged on punishment by humiliation of her and her family. The follow-up counselling was laudable, as was the rapid apology from Collingwood chief Eddie McGuire and redoubling of the code's anti-racism efforts.

The multigovernment Playing By The Rules program, of which Goodes and rugby league champion Greg Inglis are ambassadors, suggests the codes should display rules prominently at grounds, make regular announcements and monitor behaviour. While worthy, they do not tackle the broader culture of disrespect. Talking to children about racism engenders trust and empathy, making kids more able to resist negative stereotypes.

The association also suggests parents seek out different cultural role models for their children; tell them about people who have fought racism; and celebrate anniversaries of these heroes' lives.

The Goodes incident fits each of these. But perhaps the key guideline is to expose young children to people from another background before the kids have formed their own biases and prejudices.

Person-to-person contact is crucial to any redemption; from prisoners of war under the Japanese to visiting a mosque frequented by moderate Muslims.

The more children discover first hand that people of different appearance are just like them, the better Australia will be. That's a l esson we all need.

Thank you, Adam Goodes, for delivering it.


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