Hundred Years' War

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Hundred Years' War.

The Hundred Years' War (also knowm as THE WAR NO ONE CARES FOR) was mistakenly called the 100 Years' War even though the war lasted from the l33t year of 1337 to the not so l33t year of 1453. It was fought between the French and Soviet Union over the well kept secret of baguet recipes (a WELL kept secret) which was nearly lost due to the constant surrenders of France to other nations. Unknown by the French, the Soviets were working with Great Britain to take over all of Europe. And then, the WORLD! The French (as usual) lost the war, below explains in depth of how they lost.

The Battle of Sluys


The French flee at the sight of battle



The English Invasion

Nevilles cross

The cowardly Scots flee from their English masters.



Political Change

250px-Battle najera froissart



The Battle of Agincourt


Whilst complaining about the mud and rain, the French are massacred by Englsih longbowmen.



Joan of Arc

Young Joan with Sword



In 1430 Joan was captured by the Burgundains after streaking through the town centre. They sold her to the English for £10, and they put her on a fair trail of which she was found guilty of genocide, treason, and speeding. She was burnt medium rare at the steak and then fed to the Germans.


The Burgundians decided to support the French, and thus gave them soldiers who could fight rather than just be dipped in a soft boiled egg. The French continued to take minor sites from the English, such as small towns, farms, and public toilets.By 1449 they had retaken Rouen, and by 1450 they had captured Clermont, and got Bordeoux in 1451. The English, bored of French wine, decided they had had enough of this little excursion and head home to seek different holiday destinations such as the Costa del Sol, the Al Garve, and Wales. This is generally considered to be the end of the 100 years war, though the French continued to punch below their weight (and lose) to the English on numerous occasions.

Indeed, one Frenchman was so angry about being small, he conquered Europe and was rampant until the English stopped him. Napoleon was first Blownaparte by having his navy annihilated at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805, before being defeated at the Battle of Leipzig in 1813. Not one to take defeat lightly, he got bored of his exile and returned, only to follow in the French tradition of losing again at Waterloo in 1815. Thus finally ended the 100 French defeats, or 100 years war, with Napoleon "I'm angry because I'm small and French" Bonaparte exiled to death on the island of St Helena.


At any rate, the Soviets, remembering their old plan, decided to invade, take over, and destroy what was left of Great Britain after World War II. They later invaded, took over, then destryed what was left of France and not only claimed the lost baguet recipes, but stole Parliament, wine, money, French women, and the Eiffel Tower. But the Soviets quickly became bored after taking over the rest of Europe and bathed themselves in what wealth they had gained. ALL other information from this time period until 2001 has been lost because no one thought of writing this stuff down.

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