If you want to see a good example of anger and anxiety traveling hand in hand, all you have to do is glance into the cars next to you at a traffic light during morning rush hour.

Often on the way to work, Jerilyn Ross, MA, a psychotherapist who is president of the Anxiety Disorders Association of America and director of the Ross Center for Anxiety & Related Disorders in Washington, D.C., will see people whose emotions are obviously running high. Perhaps they're agitated, they're stuck in traffic, they woke up late, or they have a looming deadline at work. "When people feel anxious, the body is secreting stress hormones and the adrenaline is pumping, and if anything gets in the way, they may get angry and frustrated and snap easily at people," she says.

Anger and Anxiety: An Aggravating Combination

Anxiety disorders and anger can interact with each other in different ways, says Ross, the author of One Less Thing to Worry About. For example:

  • When people are anxious for an extended period of time, they may not be sleeping well, eating right, or enjoying the activities that help them stay calm and happy. As a result, they may be particularly sensitive to small problems that normally wouldn't make them angry, explains Ross.
  • Some people are rigid in their routines, and they're most comfortable when their environment stays the same day after day. "When something disrupts that, there are people who don't know how to handle the change and will often have outbursts of anger, sometimes it seems for no reason," she says.
  • In addition, some people may have an angry personality, and when they don't get what they want when they want it, they become impatient and anxious. "It becomes a vicious cycle. They're angry about something, and they get anxious. The more anxious they get, the more angry they get," says Ross.

Anger and Anxiety: New Ways to Respond

Anger is a natural method that humans developed long ago to respond to physical threats. However, unleashing our temper is generally regarded as an unacceptable way of coping with anger and anxiety these days.

When working with clients who have anger issues, Ross may suggest the following methods of responding in a more coolheaded manner:

  • Keep a diary. By jotting down the times when you become angry and the events going on in your life leading up to these moments, you can better recognize when you're likely to get upset in a situation. This can give you time to respond in a healthier manner. Maintaining a journal for a few weeks is a good place to start, Ross says.
  • Plan alternatives. Do a little role-playing and imagine a situation that has made you angry — perhaps it's when your spouse came home late. Instead of greeting your loved one with a screaming tirade, ask yourself, what are some other ways to address the situation? Maybe when you hit one of these bumps in the road, you should plan to take 10 minutes before speaking to cool off and let your stress hormones subside. Go drink a glass of water. Or call a friend on the phone, Ross recommends.
  • Breathe deeply. Often when we get anxious or angry we tend to hold our breath or take rapid, shallow breaths, Ross says. This just makes us feel even more tense, she says. "I find that one of the most powerful stress reducers that you can do in the moment is to just allow your breathing to flow deep into your diaphragm. Even if it means walking away, taking those cleansing breaths is helpful to people," she says.

Anxiety and anger can be a harmful combination. Fortunately, finding better ways to cope can diffuse both emotions.