New Year's resolution: Avoid trap of negative thinking

I have observed over the years how dogs like to scout the area ahead of them just far enough so that we, who are familiar and safe, are still in sight. Depending on how energetic they are, they make many trips back and forth until we finally catch up. One of my dogs would make the trip half a dozen times or more. On a long hike, this can add up. A hike of six miles, for instance, becomes 72 when you factor in the round trip. It strikes me that we treat experience much the same way. We move ahead in time as far as we are able or willing, perhaps, to go and then relive it many times over depending on the amount of energy we give it.

I can see the survival value in this; by going over known territory, we prepare ourselves for the next part of the journey, learning from mistakes, gaining confidence. Sometimes this can become obsessive, like when we try to figure out what someone was thinking or why things worked out the way they did when we probably will never know. Sometimes we just need to move on. When I find myself obsessing about something I cannot understand or change, it helps to try something radically different, like going for a walk with the dog. Often things become clearer when we put our thoughts aside for a while.

We plan for the future as best we can, but it isn't the same. We can't go back and forth the way we do with the past. We have no idea what 2013 will be like. Given the track record, it will undoubtedly bring highs, lows, and more of the same. Some people make a science of trying to predict the future: astrologers, soothsayers, prophets, poll-takers and pundits. Things trend in a certain direction, and these experts try to see in them a pattern that will help us move forward or stop us in our tracks, as the case may be. Even with their help, more often than not we are surprised by the way things actually turn out. The future is unpredictable. The past, on the other hand, we can relive again and again.

On my way home on Amtrak this summer, a train derailed in front of us. We were forced to disembark and load onto buses for the next 12 hours of our journey, packed in like sardines. My attitude was less than charitable, and it made me think afterward about the need to be civil even when the stress around us is great. Things happen; get over it. Loosen up a little. "Smile when you feel like crying" or something to that effect. Remember that you aren't in this alone. My resolution for 2013 is to remember this with a visual image of that bus ride when I'm feeling stressed.

My greatest worry for 2013: apocalyptic thinking. Historically, in times of rapid change, people can feel left out. In the absence of a sense of fairness or justice, our instinct is to pull inward. We become the faithful remnant for whatever cause or standard we hold most dear, willing to stand against the world despite the odds. In the most extreme examples, God or some other supernatural rescuer will come to aid the faithful remnant of which we, hopefully, are part. The world begins to look very black and white in this world view, with very little room in between for gray.

Time is precious. We can't buy it. Sometimes we feel as though we don't have enough, and sometimes it seems to drag on and on. My resolution: Practice learning how to use, manage, and enjoy time now rather than later. When change is happening and things feel out of control, I'm going to look for something to enjoy or even laugh about it. Humor in the face of the absurd is often the best medicine when apocalyptic thinking begins to creep in. We have many challenges in front of us, as we always do. It's up to us to decide how we want to deal with them. Time is on our side.


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