Love, Me

Stop the negative chatter in your head. There are kinder (and smarter) ways to motivate yourself.

What makes you feel better: compliments or criticism? The answer is obvious. So why do we seem to have no problem berating ourselves? We’d never talk like that to a friend. Maybe we think going negative can spur us to achieve our goals, but the opposite is true: self-compassion can help you stick to healthy actions that pay off at the scale.

Studies have shown that when you practice self-compassion and take your successes and failures in stride you may find yourself less afraid of failure and more satisfied with life.1 This can lead to success in your weight loss journey. People who practice self-compassion are more likely to eat well, take good care of themselves and maintain their weight loss.2,3

So how do you learn to like yourself more? The same way you make friends with anyone else: Take the time to get acquainted; be supportive and non-judgmental. Above all, look for the good. A good way to jump in is with this fun fill-in exercise.

Try the seven suggestions below:

1. Make a list of your positive qualities.
Read your list often. It could include anything from being a good piano player to being a loving parent. List every attribute that makes you a worthwhile, likable individual.

2. Pay yourself a compliment every day.


4. Give yourself regular non-food treats.

5. Spend time with those who care about you. 


  • Retreat from the relationship a bit.
  • Stop hoping for approval.
  • Respond more assertively to harsh remarks.

7. Try a little kindness. 

1 Neff KD, Kirkpatrick KL, Rude SS. An examination of self-compassion in relation to positive psychological functioning and personality traits.
2 Phillips ML, et al. Self-compassionate reactions to health threats. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 2013;39(7):911-926.
3 Mantzios M, Wilson JC. Exploring mindfulness and mindfulness with self-compassion-centered interventions to assist weight loss: Theoretical