Tag Archives: gifted children










What if they become more aggravating?



Not sure if your child is bright or gifted?  Read Is Your Child Bright or Gifted? Spot the Differences





Every child loves music, but not every music is therapy!

What if you could add a sensory-based treatment that targets specific sensory, motor, and behavioral goals, doesn’t require expensive equipment or a large therapy space, and you could see the effects within a very short time?

Since adding Quickshifts to my therapy sessions, I have been able to successfully address some of the more difficult behaviors and sensory processing issues I encounter.  Very young children are often afraid of being on therapy balls and swings, and they don’t always tolerate the Wilbarger or Astronaut protocols Why Is The Wilbarger Protocol So Hard To Get Right?.  But everyone can listen to music.  Enter Quickshifts.

I am primarily using them over speakers, since even older kids are struggling with wearing headphones.  I find that this isn’t preventing progress, and I periodically try to reintroduce headphones with children over 2.  They change so quickly that I never know when “NO” will turn into “maybe”.

Every Quickshift album uses brainwave entrainment.  The use of binaural beat technology (BBT) for entrainment of an alpha brainwave state has made a difference with the kids who display predominantly anxious or dysregulated states, but it is also very helpful to entrain better attention and postural activation.  Read more about the science behind BBT in Binaural Beats and Regulation; More Than Music Therapy.  It is great for parents too: Stress Relief in the Time of Coronavirus: Enter Quickshifts.

Quickshift albums are intended to rapidly bring the brain into this alpha state, with a focus on reducing anxiety and building affective modulation.  Yes; this form of therapeutic listening has the ability to decrease, not increase, anxiety.  But there are a wide range of albums.  Some emphasize postural activation, some work on sensory modulation and sensitivity, and some improve attentional focus or social interaction.  Why would music affect posture or anxiety?  Because these albums use specific rhythms and melodies, as well as binaural beat technology.  OTs know a lot about how sound affects brain function, and this isn’t about “liking” the music, although kids do.  It is about creating differences in the brain.

I am particularly fond of the regulation albums and the social interaction albums, as my clients inevitably struggle with these issues.  I can see a shift (not a pun:  the shift is real) about 5-7 minutes into the 14-17 minute albums.  This is helpful in a session.  If I only have 30-45 minutes, I cannot do 15 minutes of sensory input to achieve regulation.  I need more time for treatment goals.  This gives me precious minutes, and helps kids see that regulation is possible.

Why Modulated Music Wasn’t Working For Me

I stopped using Modulated music a long time ago.  I rarely use it with children under 5 now.  Not because I don’t think it was an effective treatment.  Because I couldn’t get any compliance at home, and I saw very little progress with use only in my therapy sessions.  There was often a learning phase, in which I had to adjust the amount of listening time to prevent overwhelming young or very challenged children.  Parents start to question my clinical skills and I risk losing their confidence.  Families were resistant; even the families that really wanted to use this music.

The way Modulated music needed to be scheduled and used (two daily 30-minute sessions, 2-3 hour wait before sleep times and between listening times) made it almost impossible to use with very young children at home, regardless of how willing parents seemed to be.  And very few parents were that willing.  Maybe they would be able to do insulin injections on a schedule, but not therapeutic music. Everyone is so over-scheduled and busy.   I hated begging, so I had to find something easier that also worked well.

Quickshifts:  More Flexible, More Easily Tolerated, More Effective in EI

Quickshifts have been much more flexible, but just as successful.  Maybe more!  They can be used often throughout the day, any time of the day.  I haven’t seen one small child react in a way that indicated that they were overwhelmed.  The ability to target specific types of sensory-based goals means I can deliver results the parents can see.  the emphasis on alpha brainwave states seems to deliver an extra layer of calmness.

Gearshifters are similar to Qucikshifts, but they do not have the targeted immediacy that I find so helpful.  When are Gearshifters better to use?  When I need a longer-lasting modulation effect and I don’t have concerns about spatial awareness or need to reduce agitation.  Some kids need a Quickshift album followed by a Gearshifter to have a few hours of really good sensory modulation time.

Use the best headphones!  Read  Doing Therapeutic Listening? Get These Affordable, Comfortable, Kid-Size Bluetooth Headphones From PURO!  to learn what equipment is going to make this work for you.

Parents are happy to be able to download the albums onto their phones and use them to improve transitions, sleep, attention and more. The use of technology to entrain an alpha brainwave state means that if the album isn’t a perfect fit, I don’t get an overwhelmed child; there is always some degree of improvement in regulation and arousal.  But when I have seen kids generate more postural activation, calm down and even laugh, or tune into their environments in ways they never have before Quickshifts, I wonder why I waited so long to get this treatment on board.  It isn’t just for sensory sensitivity or modulation problems; read more about how it can help kids with motor control issues here: Therapeutic Listening Can Enhance Motor Skills….Really!

Wondering if adults can use Quickshifts too?  Read  Should the PARENTS of Kids With Sensory Issues Use Quickshifts? for more about how this music can help everybody in the family.

If you are tempted to go out and buy these albums without the guidance of an OTR that is trained in sound therapy, please reconsider.  The reason that I have had such success with Quickshifts is not just because this treatment works.  It works because I use it as part of a whole sensory-based protocol, in which I can select and prescribe the right music to be used at the right time.  There really is a reason to have an OTR help you.  You will get better results, avoid problems, save time and money, and have someone trained in treatment guiding you.  Not Dr. Google.  I do phone consultations to help people decide on a sensory processing treatment plan that saves them time and money.  Visit my website tranquil babies to book a session!







What can be done?











  • Explain the rules, negotiate the deal when possible, and acknowledge the frustration of things that seem unfair or arbitrary.  Helping gifted individuals fit into a society that says it loves giftedness but really supports conformity, without crushing their spirit, is tricky.  You can help.  Bring their awareness to the fact that controlling the game and telling people what to do and how to do it makes other children less likely to want to play.  This is real teaching.  Even if their new rules for Candyland are truly innovative.  Take a look at Gifted Or Disordered? The Unrecognized Behavioral Traits of Young Gifted Children for more on the real behavior differences in gifted children.  And read How To Talk So Young Gifted Children Will Listen  and  Does Your Gifted Child Interrupt You Constantly? Respond This Way For Better Results  to learn how to successfully communicate with these quick little minds.
  • Don’t forget handwriting!  Many gifted children want or need more opportunities to learn to write.  But they need you to understand what makes handwriting interesting and rewarding to gifted children.  For more on this subject, check out Why Gifted Preschoolers Should Be Taught Handwriting Early (And With The Best Strategies!).


Sensitivity and Gifted Children: The Mind That Floods With Feeling




How can you help your child navigate these feelings without crushing their altruism and energy? The first step in helping these children to handle their sensitive social and emotional nature starts with adults understanding that this isn’t a personality quirk; it’s a neurological bias that accompanies an impressively active and intense brain that doesn’t “turn off”.  you can also change how you react to them in good times and bad: Sensitive Child? Be Careful How You Deliver Praise

Sensory Sensitivity, Autism, and Gifted Sensitivity





Continue reading

Is Your Gifted Child Also Your Most Strong Willed Child?

taylor-smith-Mw9TO8Wbz8A-unsplashParents of some gifted children know that this gift comes with more than a quick intellect.  It can come with a will of iron and incredible emotional range.  Gifted children can be expansively happy one moment, and intensely sad the next.  No, it isn’t bipolar disorder, and it probably isn’t ADD (gifted kids are misdiagnosed with both at an alarming rate).  Gifted children have an emotional capacity that often matches or exceeds their intellect.  Here is why:

Their brains are different.  They are qualitatively different, meaning that they notice, synthesize, and experience information differently, not just “more” or “more like an older child” than other children.  Their brains work differently, but they are trying to comprehend how others understand situations and why they behave as they do.  When they cannot get where other people are coming from, or when they insist on the world working their way, things can get explosive.

Yes, the same brain that allows a 4 year-old to read chapter books to her preschool class without having been taught to read is also feeling and connecting emotional information differently from her peers as well.  She can’t “get over it” when arbitrary rules do not allow her to take materials out of the reference section of the library, or when she isn’t allowed to finish watching a documentary on sea creatures because you have to take her brother to swim practice.  Functional imaging studies have been reported to see much more diverse brain activity in gifted individuals during simple tasks.  They light up like Christmas trees because they are incredible thinkers.

All that thinking can get them in trouble with the day-to-day world of rules and good behavior.

The amazing brains of gifted children are understood to have what one researcher calls “overexcitabilities”.  Only one is intellectual excitability.  The others include emotional/empathetic, motor, and sensory excitability.  This can lend itself to some explosive tantrums in toddlerhood and even disabling complaints of clothing or lights being far too irritating and distracting.  The same child that can explain to you how the electoral college works can be sidelined by the scratchy tag in his shirt!

The drive for mastery and perfection is a heavy burden for the gifted child.  Their perfectionism comes from the ability to imagine what the ultimate outcome could be, not an anxious concern with being judged or being found inferior.  It is coming from an internal demand to create what their amazing brain can conjure.  This isn’t “fixable” with meditation or deep breathing.  Giving them information about where this drive originates is helpful, as are clear boundaries of time and resources.  Learning to handle the drive for perfection is a goal for most gifted people, and the learning should start early.

Gifted children with strong wills aren’t always appreciated for their determination and their energy.  They balk at instructions, refuse assistance when they need it, and aren’t easily distracted from their desires.  I think that the first step in handling the emotional over excitability of a gifted child is to accept how difficult it is as a parent or a teacher, and then learn about how this aspect of giftedness works.  From there it is a matter of building skills in self-control and social/communication skills.  Read Want Better Self-Regulation in Young Children? Help Them Manage Aggression for some ideas on dealing with aggressive behavior.  Gifted children do not have to get their way because their IQ is in the stratosphere.  They still have to avoid aggression, including verbal aggression (something teenage gifted kids are virtual masters of).  Read Why Gifted Children Aren’t Their Teacher’s Favorite Students…. and  Is Your Child Bright or Gifted?  to understand some of the shadow sides of giftedness.

My perspective is that gifted children need more help with social skills since they often have such disparity between their cognitive capacity and their emotional abilities.  Feeling responsible for the world’s troubles doesn’t mean that you are, and knowing that the rules are arbitrary doesn’t mean you have the authority to change them.  Parents who teach their children how to navigate these problems will give a huge gift to their children.  Children need to understand that they aren’t bad, but they are different.  And their behavior is connected to the way their brain works and always will work.  They need to navigate their path within the wider world, making friends and dealing with authorities that do not see things in the same way.  The world may not always understand gifted people, but if gifted people understand themselves, it could be a happier and calmer place for everyone.


Your Gifted Child: More Than An Amazing Intellect



The characteristic that convinces a parent that their child is gifted is often an impressive vocabulary or mathematical ability.  This is the criteria that will get them into the “G and T” program in school, and is often a source of pride for both parents and children.  Wait!  There are other characteristics of giftedness that aren’t always so well received.  Making the most of a powerful brain will sometimes mean addressing all the effects of giftedness on behavior, emotional reactions, social interaction and even physiology.

My primary point in writing this post is to mention that giftedness brings with it a host of abilities, and managing all them effectively will be your child’s lifelong challenge.  Poorly managed, a child can struggle internally or fail to use their gifts with joy.  Success starts with parental awareness and support.

Your gifted child, from toddlerhood onward, may demonstrate common patterns of behavior or thinking that can be challenging for parents:

  • intense feelings and reactions
  • high sensitivity to other’s feelings
  • idealism and a sense of justice, intolerance of rigid rules at school or home
  • daydreaming or preoccupation with own thoughts
  • intense focus on specific tasks or topics, ignores other’s interests
  • unusual sense of humor and playing with objects in atypical ways
  • vivid imaginations, including imaginary playmates
  • difficulty tolerating classroom routines and simple games
  • less interest in playing with peers; seeks out older children or adults
  • worries or becomes fearful of anticipated events or things they don’t understand

When children are assessed by a psychologist and found to have asynchrony in their development (a fancy term that describes a chart of testing scores that look like the Alps:  high in some areas, average or below average in others), this can add to the frustration of living as a gifted child.  Preschoolers with advanced cognition but poor articulation of speech cannot express themselves but are thinking amazing thoughts.  This is so frustrating for them!  Super-sensitive children may pick up on a teacher’s stress over her home life just by her posture and her energy level.  They know that something bad is going on, and wonder if they should be concerned.  Children with sensory sensitivity complain about scratchy shirts, irritating lights and can have difficulty with typical levels of noise, scents or movement.

Gifted kids can be incredible negotiators, remember every promise you make and hold to to them,  develop sarcasm to control people, or try to influence every game so that it reflects their strong interests.  They can be overwhelmed by commercials requesting donations for animals or children, and become upset when they listen to adults discuss political issues.  All at 6 years of age or less!

What can parents do to help their gifted children, right from the start?  Notice which characteristics seem to be most difficult for your child to handle.  Some kids are irritated by stimulation from the physical world, some are under stimulated or simply lonely for sure peers at school, and some are overwhelmed by emotions.  They are like snowflakes; each one is different.

Support your gifted child where she needs it most.  Energetic kids need lots to do, and ways to calm down.  Sensitive kids need to learn ways to manage the world without being overstimulated.  Children who wear their hearts on their sleeves can take action to help others and understand how many adults are working for the same purpose as we speak.

Gifted children who learn to manage all the characteristics of giftedness are the leaders of the future, the innovators, and the people that will bring us forward.  With the right support and understanding, they can use their abilities freely and joyously!


rockybeachGifted children have abilities that make them more sensitive to their bodies, their world and the people in it.  They notice sensations, emotional states and the interplay between the physical and the non-physical world in ways that non-gifted people do not.  Exquisite sensitivity, combined with intensity and drive, often come at a price for gifted children and their parents.  Most parents of gifted toddlers and preschoolers don’t know that their child is gifted, but they know how they feel: worn out!

Occupational therapists are highly skilled in addressing sensitivity that impacts functional performance.  And it doesn’t have to be sensitivity to shirt tags!  We are trained to look at emotional modulation and attention skills as well, and to help children and adults use sensory-based treatment approaches to improve their performance in these areas.  Need better executive functioning?  it doesn’t happen in a vacuum.  You need a solid sensory processing system to rise to that level of cognitive ability.

A parent’s pride in her child’s amazing abilities can be overshadowed at times by the fatigue and frustration in dealing with tantrums, rigidity, sensitivity, and their child’s seemingly inexhaustible energy.  If you take your child to a psychologist that doesn’t recognize the behaviors as aspects of giftedness, you may leave with a prescription for play therapy or pills.  There is another option.  Occupational therapy can help manage the current of giftedness running through your child’s mind, and “keep the lights on” without those power surges that can destroy their functioning  in the mainstream world.

Bright, but Being Overwhelmed by Input

Particularly in the early years, gifted children can become easily overwhelmed when their emotions, their impulses and their perceptions exceed their ability to process everything they experience.  They may feel clothing or food as intensely strong sensations.  They may want to swing for an hour, then cry when it is time to leave the playground. They might be aware of a parent’s sadness or another child’s frustration more acutely, but have no idea what is happening or what to do.  They really “get” the plight of the polar bears on the disappearing ice sheets.  After all, they can read the New York Times at 5!    They just don’t know what to do with all these feelings, thoughts, desires and sensations.  Gifted children often have a powerful intensity of experience and a drive not only for mastery but for pure sensory input.  You could take them to a psychologist, but in my experience, most of them don’t see toddlers clinically, or don’t get what the problems really are What Psychologists Just Don’t Get About Raising Gifted Toddlers.

Some abilities in young gifted children are advanced by years, such as reading or math.  The ability to share with a sibling?  Not advanced at all!  This “asynchronous development” can cause internal conflict and may result in more frequent and more intense outbursts, refusal to participate in school or playdates, sleep issues and more.

How OT Can Help You and Your Child

OT’s with a strong sensory processing background can help gifted children and their families navigate the complex sensory-motor, cognitive and emotional/social overload that happens when brainpower exceeds management capacity.  What unique skills does an OT bring to the table?  The ability to assess and implement a whole-person approach.    Talking about behavior, making a rewards chart, and cognitively understanding where all that energy comes from is simply not enough to make the days and the weeks easier for a gifted child.  The occupational therapist’s toolbox is deeper and wider, and includes physical interventions that look like play, social/emotional mastery experiences (not just talk), and sensory-based activities that support self-regulation as a child grows into their amazing abilities.  Take a look at Gifted and Struggling? Meet the Twice Exceptional Student and How OT Can Help if your child is gifted but dealing with issues such as sensory processing, ADD, learning issues or ASD.

Occupational therapists do use cognitive strategies such as the “How Does Your Engine Run?” program by Williams and  Shellenbarger.  A cognitively gifted 4 year-old may be fully capable of engaging in this useful program.  A sensory diet, one of the core concepts of most sensory processing treatment programs, can help children discharge and manage sensitivity and excitement throughout the day.  The use of therapeutic listening programs is often easy to do at home with your OTR’s guidance.  I like Quickshifts because they are targeted and work well with the busy schedules most kids have Quickshifts: A Simple, Successful, and Easy to Use Treatment For Processing, Attention and Postural Activation.  Most of my clients simply do not have the time or the opportunity to spend 30 minutes in a gym, if they can achieve functional regulation in half that time.  Enter Quickshifts.

Check out Gifted Or Disordered? The Unrecognized Behavioral Traits of Young Gifted Children  for more thoughts on how the behavior of gifted kids can be misdiagnosed as a disability.  I wrote a helpful post on how to use The Happiest Toddler strategies, informed by what we know about the gifted mind, to improve your communication with your child  How To Talk So Your Gifted Child Will Listen.  Is your child misunderstood or mislabeled at school?  Gifted kids can be labeled as troublemakers instead of talented.  Read Is Your Gifted Child A “Troublemaker”?  and  How To Spot A Gifted Child In Your Preschool Class (Or Your Living Room!) for some ways to think differently about those strong opinions and the resistance to rules.

Parents that know how to help their child regulate their arousal feel empowered, not defeated, when their child becomes overwhelmed.  Children learn that their parents “get” them, and that they can turn to them for support instead of criticism.  Feeling understood and feeling capable is the bedrock of self-confidence and self-esteem.  Gifted individuals need to know that they are more than their stratospheric IQ or athletic or creative abilities, and this is where it begins. Take a look at Raising a Gifted Child? Read “A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children” For Successful Strategies To Navigate the Waters  to learn more about how to communicate with your child about his or her gifts.

Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Toddler on the Block program is amazingly effective at teaching children how to handle the strong emotions of early childhood, and teaching parents how to support their children without crushing their spirit.  I use his incredible techniques with every gifted client I see.  Children with ASD respond, children with SPD respond, and gifted children respond.  Dr. Karp’s strategies allow children to learn how to express their feelings without judgement, and teach parents to set limits and place consequences on behavior without crushing a child’s spirit.  Isn’t that what we all want for our children?  Check out Stretch Your Toddler’s Patience, Starting Today! even if your child is not a toddler.  It turns out that Dr. Karp’s easy technique for handling demands works on impatient people at almost any age.  You just alter your presentation to fit their more mature emotional state and communication level!

Should you consult a psychologist?  If you are expecting to get concrete strategies to manage your toddler’s or preschooler’s highs and lows, probably not.  My professional experiences and my search online for resources from psychologists has lead me to believe that they don’t start being really interested in or helpful until your child is in primary school.  If your toddler is being a problem in daycare or preschool because she doesn’t want to do the “stupid” macaroni pictures, and instead wants to read their chapter book at age 3, most psychologists don’t seem to know what to say.  Here is something more helpful: Why Gifted Children Aren’t Their Teacher’s Favorite Students….

Research suggests that the way a gifted brain functions is always going to be different than the typical child.  That drive, that intensity and even that sensory seeking or sensitivity may be hard-wired and managing it is more the goal than changing it.  It isn’t a dysfunction, it is a difference.  This is the paradigm shift between seeing behavior as atypical or as abnormal.

Most psychologists don’t see things that way, but the few working with gifted children will know what I am talking about.  I believe that therapy for gifted children effects change in a very similar manner to therapy for the autistic child; therapy can make daily life easier, and it can help a child learn to handle their thoughts and experiences with greater comfort and ease.  Life gets better.  It doesn’t change the diagnosis: brain function changes as it learns to adapt and make better connections, but the structure of the gifted brain will remain unique.  Occupational therapists support gifted children and their families in exactly the same way we support people in the special needs community:  without judgement or dismissing problems that arise in living.

If you are the parent of a very young gifted child, and you would like more support, take a look at some of my previous posts:Supporting The Gifted Toddler at Preschool   and Your Bossy Baby or Toddler May Be Gifted. Really. Here Are The Signs You Are Missing! You can use these strategies today to help your gifted child!

Want more personalized support to manage your gifted child’s behavior at home and school?  Are you a new OT and have questions about how to treat gifted kids in your practice?  Visit my website tranquil babies and purchase a phone consultation.  You will have a chance to ask questions and get answers that can make a difference!


Is Your Sensitive Child Gifted As Well?

Happy New Year!  The topic of sensitivity (in all it’s expressions) in young children isn’t new to this blog, but the correlation with giftedness hasn’t been a part of my other posts.  It is today.

Sensitivity is common in gifted toddlers and preschoolers, and sensitivity is ubiquitous in young children with diagnoses such as ASD and SPD.  Could you have both?  Sure.  Could you have neither, and just have a very sensitive little soul who avoids socks with seams and still can’t spell their name at 5?  Sure.  Seeing the pattern of sensitivity that gifted children can express isn’t that easy, but it can make dealing with a young child so much easier when you understand the source and know how to support them.

Gifted children make mental and emotional connections that other children their age do not.  They see and feel the world differently.  They are still young children, without fully developed emotional regulation, and they bear the weight of all that they perceive.  It can  accumulate throughout the day and over time, and overtake them.  You can see more outbursts, more episodes of being overwhelmed, and more crushing waves of emotion.  Strong emotions are common with the gifted populations, and they can be more challenging during the toddler years.  Remember: not every aspect of brain development is advanced at the same level in gifted children.  In many ways, your 3 year-old who reads chapter books is still just 3!

Our brains do not have barriers, so emotional and cognitive floods will create sensory floods as well.  This is something that every adult can understand:  if you have had a fight with your partner, it is more likely that the bright sunshine will bother you a bit more, the TV will seem too loud, and the people in line at a store are crowding you a bit more than you’d like.  You are an adult, so you can take action to reduce your sensitivity (sunglasses, remote control, choosing a shorter line or leaving) but children cannot.  They do not even know what is making them uncomfortable.  And they often cannot put feelings into words, even if they can tell you all about every dinosaur or how tornadoes affect the planet.  Emotional maturity and expression is not always developing at the same amazing pace as cognitive skills in gifted toddlers and preschoolers.

What can you do to help a gifted and sensitive child?  The general methods to address  sensory sensitivity will be helpful for these children.  OT’s use a wide range of physical and behavioral strategies effectively, about which I will write about in more detail later this week.  Verbally gifted children may be able to comprehend an explanation of why they explode the way that they do, and they may even be able to help you create a plan to help themselves.  Loving your child isn’t enough, but accepting the entirety of who they are can go a long way to making life easier with your sensitive gifted young child.

I will be writing more about this topic in 2017, and hoping to expand my posts to an e- book and a few local lectures.  Please comment here, and let me know if there are specific issues with sensitivity and the gifted child that you would like to see posted!