art work by John Ceprano

I’ve Had Enough!

When it comes to our interpersonal relations and the inevitability of conflict, there are times we reach saturation points. These are such things as engaging in repeated arguments over the same issues, the same attitude that provokes us, and mannerisms that annoy and even embarrass us in front of others. Further, we might become fed up with what we experience as the apparent lack of understanding about why certain things are so important to us, or the other person’s constant need to be right or refusal to see our point of view. The sense that our concerns are minimal compared to the other person may be off-putting to the point of saturation as well.

The reality is we demonstrate all sorts of behaviours and actions that irritate those we regularly interact with and they annoy us too, and sometimes we reach the point of saying “I’ve had enough!” (See also Tolerations and Conflict) In fact, there are ongoing provocations that lead to the end of relationships when enough really is enough.

This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog invites you to consider the sentiment “I’ve had enough!” when it comes to ongoing interpersonal conflicts with someone. This could be a partner, spouse, sibling, parent, colleague, boss, co-worker, service worker and so on.

To answer this week’s questions, please consider some specific action, behaviour, attitude, etc. of this person that provokes you to the point that you have said or could easily say “I’ve had enough!”

  • How do you describe the action, behaviour, attitude, etc. that you have had enough of?
  • What does it mean to you to say “I’ve had enough!”?
  • How have you let the person know her or his behaviour, etc. is intolerable for you, i.e. what do you say/do?
  • How has she or he defended herself or himself?
  • What have you tried to see if she or he may cease that which annoys you? What have you not tried (or if you have not yet thought of anything, what are some possibilities)?
  • What would you advise a good friend in the same circumstance?
  • When someone has let you know they’ve had enough of something about you, what has she or he said or done?
  • How has the other person’s response to you (your answer to the above question) helped the relationship? Not helped the relationship?
  • How have you defended your actions, behaviours, etc.?
  • How is enough is enough a positive outcome in each of these situations? How is it not?
  • What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
  • What insights do you have?


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