How to get rid of Fear

Fear exists in our mind and is expressed everywhere in our behavior subconsciously. Fear is always there in every aspect of our life. From where does this fear come into our lives? You may have noticed that babies don’t have any fear. In the early days, children are not scared of anything. No one is born with fear.

Fear becomes part of us while growing up. Children are mostly filled up with their fear while in their upbringing. When parents need to get something done by children, they make them scared of unknown things or punishment;  like, finish your food otherwise you will grow up weak; follow hygiene rules or else you will get sick; if you don’t obey your parents then god will become angry with you; if you don’t listen to us then we will not talk to you or fulfill any of your wishes and so on.

Thus fear takes birth in the innocent heart of the child. Fear of losing parent’s love, fear of God, fear of becoming sick and many more like that. When you grow up, the fear also grows bigger and deeper in your senses. It enslaves your desire to fly, to jump into the unknown, to try something new. Due to this very fear, few people become successful. Due to this fear, many youngsters choose careers in something which they don’t like at all. Because of this fear, people stop following their heart.

Let’s explore some these fear and find out how to overcome them:

1. Fear of being judged

This fear gets birth when your parents start judging your intelligence with your behavior when you are a child. When a child holds onto books too much, then parents start imagining that their child will become a scholar; if she/he plays with football, then everyone around will speak about a child becoming a football player and there is a long list of activities.

Although the child is just playing because he is playful. A child plays with everything and whatever is around her/him. But people around the child will start finding the reasons behind that playfulness. Then the child subconsciously starts analyzing how people are judging him/her. Slowly – slowly the playfulness becomes intentionally conveying the message.

Now the child knows how to convince people on something and how to hide what is inside his / her heart so that no one will judge him or her. Thus the child starts living according to what others think of her/him. To overcome this fear, you will have to open your heart and listen to what it says. Start to follow your heart than your mind and act accordingly. Your heart can show you the true path. Be genuinely empathetic and let your heart speak freely.

2. Fear of Darkness

Darkness is a natural phenomenon, yet many are scared of it. This fear originates from many places. During childhood, parents warn children not to go into darkness due to their protective nature. Another source is media and entertainment means. They keep on feeding people how darkness is related to bad energies and symbol of the demon.

Light is for God and positive energies. But if you can go deeper, then you come from darkness. Mother’ womb is dark, and there is no light in it and you spend nine months there. Darkness is part of our lives. Can you sleep in the light? No, you cannot. You need to make the room dark or wear an eye mask just to avoid that light to disturb your sleep. Darkness is needed to take rest.

Then how it can be bad for us. It is as much needed as light. Day and night are part of our very existence. As soon as you overcome this fear, you will be able to look inside your own self much easier, because that place is dark too. So learn to synchronize with darkness, face it. You will start noticing that fear will go away. Only because you cannot see anything in darkness does not mean that it is harmful. Darkness and light are the two sides of the same coin and it is very imperative that we embrace both of these.

3. Fear of Failure

Fear of Failure is the biggest reason why many people don’t take the first step towards success. Whenever you feel to do something in your life, usually the first question arises in your mind “what if I fail?”. Due to this fear, you feel demotivated and give up on the idea of taking your chance, to take the first step towards your objective.

“Where does this fear come from?” This fear comes when people around you, who assume that they know you and your powers well start giving you suggestions on some matter they don’t know about. These people think that they know better and they have a better experience. Their words create fear in you. Their words echo in your brain and make your decisions weak.

You start to think “What if they are right?” This fear holds you back and keeps you away from success. This fear gets stronger roots when these people are the ones whom you trust, whom you believe to be right. Your beliefs give strength to this fear. To overcome this fear, you have to drop your beliefs and follow what your heart says.

Don’t let this fear obsess you. Failure is nothing but a way to learn new things and gain experience. Once you keep this fear away then success will be yours. Don’t listen to what people have to say and believe in yourself. You know your capabilities, your target, your endurance better than others.

4. Fear of losing

The fear of losing generates within you with the idea of possession. The moment you start thinking that you possess something; the fear of losing takes birth. As you get scared of a minor thought what if someone takes that thing from you.

When you love someone, you start getting scared of losing him/her. What is this fear? Why are we scared? Nothing is permanent in this world. What did you bring when you were born? What will you take when you die? Neither had you brought something nor will you take something with you. People around you come in your life with a purpose.  They come and leave; as your parents give you birth and raise you.

Then comes your life partner and kids. What matters is the love what you give them. People can change but love is always there within you. People may come and go but love stays in your heart. Just like that materialistic things can be possessed only temporarily. You may lose it at any time.

So why to be afraid of losing them? Get rid of this fear of losing and live your life. Live the moment, enjoy these materialistic things but don’t bring this idea in your head that you possess them. You can never possess anything. Nothing belongs to you personally. They are just mode to live your life. So enjoy every single moment what you have got. When something or someone does not belong to you then there is no question of losing.

5. Fear of the unknown

This unknown can be anything like an unknown person or a place, a new thing, an opportunity, an activity. When you know something already then you are aware of its nature. So you feel comfortable while dealing with it. But if you don’t know about something, then you feel scared to deal with it. Because you don’t know the outcome; how will it affect you, what if something wrong happens? You keep on thinking. Everyone develops this fear due to their own basic nature i.e. self-protection/ survival.

You feel scared when any new opportunity knocks on your door when you are at a new place when you meet a new person. Nonetheless, if you grab the opportunity it may turn out to be fruitful to you. if you are at a new place it may become your favorite place after you visit it and if you meet a new person then he/she may become a lifelong friend after you get to know him/her.

But think about it that how many times you have missed a great opportunity, avoided visiting a new place, and dropped the idea of meeting that one person due to the fear of the unknown? Maybe countless times. So next whenever you get a chance to do any of above, jump into the unknown and take advantage and experience it fearlessly. Think about what can happen if you neglect any of the above. Remember you have nothing to lose.

6. Fear of getting hurt

This fear keeps you deprived of love, affection, and relationships. A relationship needs nourishment. When you don’t know the depth of your own self then you always feel scared to express your feelings.

You may keep your feelings in your heart but after a while, they actually bother you mentally and physically. To give love and nurture each other is the basic nature of humans. You cannot run or hide from it. So get out of this fear and love everyone around you. You must understand you get hurt only when you create a fantasized image of your loved one in your brain and start expecting them to behave as the image.

Accept people for who they are, what they are. It’s real-life, not a movie where you can write a script and tell others to behave according to the character or a role. Live your life as who you truly are. If you are emotional, then don’t hide or suppress your emotions. Rather go to the depth of it and discover from where they come.

You may be hiding them since childhood and later in life, they occasionally come to the surface. Same applies to others. Let other people be free and let them behave what they are. Don’t expect something that is not in their nature. A rose will always be a rose and a thorn will always be a thorn. Eventually, this fear will disappear and you will feel immense love flowing inside you.

To eliminate any kind of fear, I would ask you to go deeper and find out the root cause of the fear. Also, get to know the energy source to this root. Fear grows bigger only when you give energy to it. You do it by becoming fearful. Once you know the root, the source and start becoming fearless,

In the course of time, you commit to living fearlessly, then no fear can be an obstacle in your way. No fear will come to haunt you. Only those who have no fear always win whether in personal life, professional or spiritual.

Kia Singh

Kia Singh is an entrepreneur, spiritual seeker, writer, and life coach. She writes to convey her own life experiences which has inspired many in their life journey. In leisure time, Kia is found sticking to books or reading science research papers. You can reach her at [email protected]

1 comment so far

How to overcome obstacles » Life-n-smile Posted on1:03 pm - January 17, 2021

[…] When any obstacle occurs your brain fails to accept it immediately. Making the situation worse, it further generates fear inside you because for your brain every adverse situation is a danger to your existence. Your brain is trained to expect smooth events in your life. Don’t get caught in this ploy. Prepare your mind that problems can occur anywhere and they are solvable. So eliminate all your fears; fear of failure or rejection. Read more about fear in article FEAR. […]