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Messy rooms and chores

Q. A reader asked, "My 11-year-old son refuses to clean up his room or do any chores around the house. I have tried but he just fights me all the way. If I do give him a consequence for not doing his chores I eventually give in and just let him do what he wants. Please help!


A. This is a common problem that most parents have. Children tend to avoid having to do something that they do not consider fun.

Parents can pretty much expect that children will try to avoid having to clean their room, wash the dishes or any other type of task that may be considered work.

However, chores teach children important skills such as responsibility and cooperation. Beginning a program of chores can help your child understand that all family members must work together to run the household.

At successfulfamily, Andrea Simanson gives tips on how parents can motivate their child to clean their rooms.


"The key is to inspect the room daily and help them learn to put things in their place each day before the pile has grown. This may mean that you pick up a few clothes and toys initially when you are training them, so they feel helped and inspired to do the right thing. Involvement can either be 'anger expressed out of frustration because they are messy' or it can be 'hands-on training.' "

A few dos and don'ts on helping your child with a messy room include:


1. Don't regularly tell them to clean their room.

2. Don't nag them.

3. Don't let their room get messy to begin with.


1. Do give them frequent room inspections.


3. Do help them clean the room.

4. Do get involved everyday.

Other suggestions include compiling a list of chores and showing your child how to do the chore. Communicate the importance of keeping their room clean and how it benefits the whole family. Most important is to praise your child for completing their chores.



Tue, 11/21/2017 - 5:46pm