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Free Video Advice: Top 5 Ways That Boys and Girls Bully

Group of kids are bully another child

By Alison (Alley) Pezanoski-Browne

Educators and counselors have found that boys and girls act out their aggression and bully in different ways. While it is important to not over-generalize how a child will act simply based of their gender, recognizing the most common gender differences in bullying could help you determine if your child is being bullied or is the bully.

5 Ways That Boys and Girls Bully Differently

  1. Boys are more likely than girls to display bullying behavior through physical intimidation. Girls bully by lashing out verbally more than physically. They leave other girls out of their circle and spread rumors by gossiping.
  2. When boys bully, they bully girls as well as other boys. Girls usually bully other girls.
  3. Boys tend to bully openly, making it easier to spot. Girls disguise their bullying and act out in more passive aggressive ways. Because of this, girl-on-girl bullying is harder to spot. The majority of researchers think that boys bully more than girls, but more recent studies suggest that adults simply have a harder time recognizing when girls bully.
  4. Experts believe that boys are more likely to cyber-bully as well. Girls who are cyber-bullied are more likely to report the bullying to adults than their male peers.
  5. Girls report more positive opinions of how their teacher’s handle bullying. Boys are more likely to think that their teachers are doing a poor job in responding to bullying problems.

5 Ways That Boys and Girls Bully The Same

  1. Both genders can bully in the form of racist, sexist or homophobic remarks.
  2. Bullying by both boys and girls is harmful and can lead to depression, body image issues, and low self-esteem.
  3. According to psychologist and bullying expert Evelyn Field, bullies and targets of bullies often have undeveloped assertive communication skills. Assertive communication is the open expression of your needs, desires, thoughts and feelings. It involves speaking up for your own needs while also respecting the needs of others.
  4. Both male and female bullies often turn on their friends.
  5. Bullying usually occurs amongst younger teens and pre-teens and usually begins to fade by the later teen years. Later primary and middle school years are the crucial years to be aware of bullying.


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I was bullied as a kid. What it did to me was it made me stronger. Made me smarter. made me not give a damn about most people. This might be cold and ruthless, but it caused me to do things I would never had done before. It brought me success. At the beginning, yeah it was hard. It was painful, but it wasn't physical. It was emotional. I was an emotional kid. Now the only emotion I have is towards my family and my closest friends, no one else. The bullies wanted to break me, but I became me. I was finally free. I was pushed to show myself and to not take it anymore. My motto became "fight back", so I did.
Thank you for this article. I am in the unfortunate situation that my daughter has become the bully. I don't know if this is hormone changes or what, but she has had slight behavior issues over the years. She is about to turn 11 in December and I am at wits end as to what to do. I have tried everything to teach her and get her to understand how wrong this is. She get's very irritated easily, I am sure part of it is that she is an only child and her grandparents have spoiled her and rarely until recently punished her for her behavior. What's surprising is that she doesn't verbally bully she hits and pushes. Very aggressive behavior. She just got suspended from school for three days, which I know she deserves, but is very upsetting for me as a parent. I don't understand how someone who is so "intelligent" is making such poor choices.
that is so true. i have dealt with losers who make fun of me and hurt me because they are bored. people talk bad bout me and make fun of the way i speak. its cruel and insensitive. I'm trying to stop it but nobody cares bout stopping it in my cold hearted school
I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with bullies! Go to this site for information on how to get help:
i think bullying is bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so we must sstop kids from hating each other! trust me i have been bullied by my brother and other friends