Bad Parenting? Parents Should Avoid Bad Parenting Mistakes

Bad Parenting Teens Children
When parents aren't active with their parenting, kids and teens become out of control. Getty Images

'Bad parenting' is used to describe people who are not parenting in a way that will help their teen become a happy successful adult. They aren't keeping the goal in mind. Their reasons vary. They are too busy with other responsibilities to take the time they need to learn about being an active effective parent, they find parenting too much of a chore and aren't up to the task or in the worst case scenario, they are parents who simply don't care enough to parent well.

While we like to think that all parents give at least a good faith effort towards their children and teens, unfortunately, it is not the case.

We also like to think that those we know don't employ bad parenting habits. Or we don't have any of these poor habits ourselves. But, being human, we all make mistakes and will find ourselves doing some of these bad behaviors. But when our mistakes get in the way of our parenting goal, that's when our own bad parenting habits can really hurt a teenager. The good news is if you see yourself doing these things, you can change your behavior. The even better news is that when you do, your teen will too. That's learning a new parenting skill which is good parenting! Here are the top bad parenting mistakes and advice on how to fix them.

1. Yelling is a big no-no. While it is understandable that we will lose our temper and raise our voices, parents who yell all of the time and use their screaming as their 'go-to' discipline technique are using a bad parenting skill.

Discipline, while it still needs to be clear and effective, changes when our children grow into teens. If this is your bad parenting mistake, here are some parenting advice:

2. It is bad parenting not being involved in your teen's life. This means more than knowing where your teen is hanging out and who they are hanging out with, its knowing what your teen likes to do when they are hanging out.

When a parent knows that their teen likes to play basketball and he goes to the school gym to play in a night league, that parent is able to stay involved with their teen simply by asking how their basketball game went. They can have a conversation, which builds the teen's confidence and strengthens their relationship. The parent can then help their teen find other opportunities to play basketball and so see a game. Knowing your teen creates win-win situations that helps parents guide teens towards a fulfilling life. If this is your bad parenting mistake, here are some parenting advice:

3. Trying to be your teen's friend is bad parenting. Teens have peers that make good friends; they don't need us to fulfill that part of their lives. They need us to take the responsibility of parenting them. That means we should be friendly, kind, loving, fair and firm. There is so much more to the relationship of a parent that being a friend is really a downgrade, one that you should avoid. If this is your bad parenting mistake, here are some parenting advice:

4. Forgetting what it's like to be a teenager. We have stress in our lives, there is work, taking care of our home, day to day chores that are all our responsibility. As parents we need to not get so caught up in what is our world that we forget our teens have things to worry about also. While waiting for a text from our BFF may not seem all that important to us when we need our teen's help with getting dinner on the table, it is important to them. While you may want your teen to be asleep by a certain time, it is not their fault that their game went into overtime and their teachers assigned too much homework for the night. Teens have responsibilities to others, stress and things they need to take care of as well. While this doesn't give them a pass, it is important for parents to remember when they are guiding them through the maze of adolescence. If this is your bad parenting mistake, here are some parenting advice:

5. Not allowing your teen to make their own choices. Parents will need to step back and allow teens to make mistakes that they wouldn't make if we took control of the situation, but they wouldn't learn how to handle their mistakes if we do. Backing off and monitoring, as opposed to fixing, our teen's problems while they're 12 to 17-years-old will be much easier to do than trying to put in your 2 cents when they are 19-years-old. If this is your bad parenting mistake, here are some parenting advice:

6. Enabling your teen to continue with dangerous or destructive habits is bad parenting. Teens make mistakes and get themselves in over their head with drugs and alcohol, sexual behaviors, poor school grades and more. These risk behaviors can become real problems in your teen's life and be hurdles in the way of their success. While it's important for a parent of a teenager to allow privacy, we also have to be monitoring what our teens are into so we can help guide them away from risk taking behaviors. Your teen needs to have limits in your home. When you allow your teen to do anything they want, they will begin to take control and you are no longer the parent. This means they no longer have their greatest chance of succeeding. If this is your bad parenting mistake, here are some parenting advice:

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