The Homoviral Hypothesis

I have a theory that a man is like a virus,
that a human male only functions ‘normally’ when attached to a host.

When left to himself:
he is barely a person.
he tends to be inert.
he may give the impression of being either asocial, socially inappropriate,
socially awkward, or socially unaware.

Left alone, a man is often unconcerned with the consequences of his actions.
He may just as easily end up in some sort of trouble or predicament than not,
no matter how innocent his intention or goals.

A virus is an extremely simple organism.

It is true that a virus is not really alive outside the environs of its host cell.
An unattached virus randomly floats about,
without signs of life,
until it is able to successfully invade a host.
The virus inserts its own DNA into the host cell or fluid,
then takes over the host,
replicating its own DNA.
It then becomes alive in every sense,
using the host to supply and maintain its immediate needs.

A man, of course, is alive in the literal sense,
but without a directed project,
he often seems to wander aimlessly,
drifting here and there until he settles on a kind of host activity,
such as watching sports, washing the car, or playing a video game.

Research shows that males do better when married, than when single.

Biologically, we know that sperm, or male sex cells,
meander without purpose or direction at first,
until the winning candidate,
through a combination of chemical clues and luck,
finally reaches its destination, the female egg.

Perhaps one reason for the lack of direction in unattached males
is that they have more time on their hands than females.
In many cultures, females do most of the work.

But there are also significantly fewer genes in the male Y chromosome
than in the ‘female’ X chromosome.
Males are simple creatures compared to females.

Any marketing director will tell you that selling products targeted to males
has only to include sports, ‘girls’, or cars to be reasonably successful.

Perhaps, sometime in the future,
males will become obsolete.
Females will take over the world,
where they will evolve a parthenogenic* community
dedicated to sociability and peaceful coexistence.

* (Parthenogenesis is a form of asexual reproduction by females, where growth and development of embryos occurs without fertilization by a male.)

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