Don't swallow this tall tale

If you ever travel to the Amazon, disregard any well-meaning advice from friends describing how to survive an anaconda attack. It's an excellent way to become a snake's snack.

Very few people will ever be in a position to test the rather fanciful tale described below. But it makes a point that people keep forgetting: As well as a waste of everyone's time, Internet tall tales can be dangerous to believe.

Here's the gist of this tall tale, found on several Web sites: Don't run, because anacondas are faster than humans. Lie flat on the ground, "arms tight against your sides, your legs against one another," chin tucked in. The anaconda will examine you, then swallow you feet first. When its mouth reaches your knees, insert a knife into the snake's mouth and rip upward, severing the head.

Like most of these phony Internet stories, there's a moral. It is how calmness and courage is the best way to survive sudden danger. It has even been used by ministers in sermons. Look here:; here,; here,; and here,, for examples.

However, the real lesson is that healthy skepticism is one of humankind's best survival traits. We live by our intellect, and false information and false assumptions undermine this advantage. When you're told something out of the ordinary, it's best to find out the source of that person's knowledge.

Most of the time, the stakes are lower than life or death, but heeding these messages can still be costly. A phony computer virus warning could mislead you to delete critical operating files, making the computer unusable. Or inaccurate advice on how to avoid having financial information stolen could lull you into a false sense of security.

Confession: Up until now, I have played a slight trick on my readers. I have said that the anaconda story is false, without telling you how I know that is so.

I did the logical thing and called up someone knowledgeable, Don Boyer, curator of herpetology for the Zoological Society of San Diego. Boyer said exaggerated tales of anacondas are fed by Hollywood movies, such as the 1997 film "Anaconda."

"No snake can act like the anacondas in 'Anaconda,' " Boyer said. "You could easily outrun an anaconda. … Anacondas are classic ambush predators. They're not like track stars. They don't run down prey."

Anacondas almost never attack humans, said Boyer, who has had his own encounters with them. Be careful near water, where anacondas tend to lurk. Don't travel alone: If one member of a party gets attached to an anaconda that won't let go, the others should pry the head off the victim and unwind its coils.

If you see an anaconda close up and are not under attack, Boyer said: "I would walk around it. I would just leave it alone."

Consulting a herpetologist isn't always an option. Before talking with Boyer, I looked up this story on the excellent Internet rumor debunking site, which called it false. But why should Snopes get such trust?


