Have a good Thanksgiving? Or did you merely eat your way through another “Turkey Day”? You can do Turkey Day without an ounce of appreciation, but you can’t have Thanksgiving without giving thanks. 


And, apparently, it’s a big difference. Writing in the Wall Street Journal in November 2010, columnist Melinda Beck noted that a “growing body of research suggests that maintaining an attitude of gratitude can improve psychological, emotional and physical well-being.”

According to Beck, adults who frequently feel grateful enjoy more energy, more optimism and more social connections than those who do not. They are also less likely to be depressed, greedy or addicted to alcohol. They make more money than their less appreciative counterparts, sleep better and get sick less often.

Beck cites a study by Dr. Robert Emmons of U.C. Davis and psychologist Michael McCullough of the University of Miami. They randomly divided more than 100 undergraduates into three groups. Each week for 10 weeks, members of one group listed five things for which they were grateful, a second group listed five things that annoyed them, and a third group listed five events of any kind that had occurred in their lives. Each participant completed detailed questionnaires about their physical and mental health before, during and after the study.

According to Emmons and McCullough, those who listed blessings each week had fewer health complaints, exercised more regularly and felt better about their lives in general than the other two groups. Gratitude makes a difference.

Gratitude, however, does not come naturally. According to psychologists, children do not experience feelings of gratitude before age six. There also exists a “negativity bias” — a tendency to focus on problems rather than blessings — that seems to be built into the human constitution.

In “The Principles of Psychology,” Williams James wrote, “So we have the paradox of a man shamed to death because he is only the second pugilist or the second oarsmen in the world. That he is able to beat the whole population of the globe minus one is nothing. He has ‘pitted’ himself to beat that one; and as long as he doesn’t do that nothing else counts.” 

James was describing the negativity bias. At Cornell University, psychologists Vicki Medvec, Scott Madey, and Tom Gilovich found further evidence of this bias. They examined videotapes of the emotional responses of Olympic athletes at the moment they learned the outcome of their event, as well as later on the podium when the medals were awarded. 

They found that bronze medalists were happier than silver medalists even though they were outperformed by them. The silver medalists thought about what they had lost; the bronze about what they gained.

Can people overcome the negativity bias and become genuinely grateful? According to Beck, “Experts believe that about 50 percent of such temperament is genetic, but the rest comes from experience, so there’s ample opportunity for change.”

How does one become a thankful person? By giving thanks. It helps to keep a list of things for which one is grateful, and keep expanding it. (My list is long and includes important things like family and less important things, like coffee and poetry.) 

But it’s not enough to list things for which you are thankful. You must also thank someone for them, whether God or people or both. Try sending a letter to five people, mentioning the positive difference they’ve made in your life. Or do the same with God: write him weekly thank-you notes. (I have many on my computer.) It will sensitize you to blessings. 

Who knows? You may make more money, sleep better and get sick less often. Or not. But you’ll be more grateful for the money you have, the sleep you get, and the health you enjoy. 

