Patriots Humor: Important Discovery--New Element, Governmentium


Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.



God help us survive this growing mass before it becomes a black hole and sucks us all in.