What 'you are as young as you feel' can teach us about better managing our professional relationships and goals

How we set our minds to see or understand something can allow us to not only achieve goals and improve relationships, but also feel better physically.


There is little doubt we are goal-oriented creatures. Whether vowing to change our fitness or eating habits, spend less time at the office and more time with our families, or any number of other changes, we are constantly on the lookout for ways to grow, both personally and professionally.

However, an important part of sustaining these transformations is to understand the power of our mindset. Although it sometimes may be viewed as too soft or fuzzy a concept, an examination of the research in this area may provide a very different answer.

One of my favourite studies was conducted by the highly respected psychologist Ellen Langer in 1979, which involved a group of 75-year-old men being invited to attend a week-long retreat. Although there were no instructions given about the purpose of the study, participants were told they could not bring any personal items (e.g., photos, newspapers, magazines, or books) with a ‘publication date’ later than 1959.

Once they were checked in, the men were informed that for the next week, they had to pretend as if the year was 1959 (i.e., when they were 55 years of age). To make this even more realistic, the men would talk, act, and dress like it was 1959. Each of the men was also given an ID, which included a picture of themselves when they were in their mid-50s. In their conversations, they needed to talk about their jobs, their families, all as if it was 1959.

The goal of this experiment was to examine whether thinking, feeling, and acting like a 55-year-old man would impact these individuals in present day.

To test this idea, the men were quizzed on numerous metrics, many of which are assumed to decline with age. When the retreat was over, the men were re-tested on each of these measures with fascinating results. After only one week of thinking, feeling, and acting 20 years younger, the majority of the participants experienced significant improvements in every category, including their flexibility, body posture, and physical strength. Over 50% of the participants even experienced an increase in their intelligence.

Perhaps even more impressive were the gains they achieved in terms of their physical appearance. Langer and her team took photos at the beginning and at the end of the retreat and asked a group of random strangers to estimate the age of the men across the series of photos. In a fascinating outcome, the men looked, on average, three years younger when comparing the estimated average ages provided for the pre- and post-retreat photos.

Unlock the power of the mind

The above experiment shows how our mindset can profoundly influence our experienced reality. As Langer notes, “Wherever you put the mind, your body will follow.”

What does this mean for how we approach our goals for personal or professional growth?

The main lesson — and this has been examined in several of her later studies — is the importance of being aware of the thoughts, feelings, and actions, as they may be influencing our behaviours more than we know.

When approaching a situation, think about the way in which we are framing it. For example, if you are entering a meeting with Tom and are concerned about the outcome because of his volatile temper, consider the following two questions and how our subsequent mindset may affect the interaction:

  • How do I make sure Tom does not get angry during the meeting? In this scenario, we will be highly vigilant to any indication from Tom that he is upset. We will also likely not discuss certain topics for fear that they may anger him. Our actions will be risk-averse and unassertive.
  • How can I make this a productive conversation with Tom? In this case, we are looking for areas where we overlap? We may find opportunities to explore issues that may also bring benefit to him. We are focused on achieving a win-win conversation, rather than one that does not turn angry.

Although this is just one example, it shows how our mindset directly impacts our feelings before embarking on an activity as well as our potential response options. How many of us have gone into a meeting thinking it’s going to be terrible? How often are we right?

This type of self-fulfilling prophecy can be dangerous to the achievement of our goals.

This is not to say adopting a particular mindset will guarantee an outcome. However, it certainly can increase the possibility of attaining our desired goals. When looking ahead to changes you want to make, reflect on how you are thinking, feeling, and acting. What behaviours and attitudes do you possess? How might your subconscious be serving or not serving your plans?

The way we choose to see the world around us, and the corresponding actions we take, set the course for our future. Exploring the power of mindset can help us understand how the way we think is either helping or hindering the chances of achieving our goals.