How to help your kids with their homework

When my son, Jacob, was in fourth grade, he was inundated with homework. The teacher of the combo 4/5 class was known for producing academicians, and it reflected in the amount of homework she gave. Jacob got so anxious about the workload that his ability to concentrate suffered. He would sit at the kitchen table for hours, sharpening his pencil, beating his head against his open book, walking to the pantry to get snacks, there was even some crying involved. He got his homework done, but it took all afternoon.

About halfway through the year, his homework habits improved. He started focusing better and did his homework more quickly. He still had an hour or two of homework per night, but gone were the days of handwringing and staring into oblivion.  What changed?

I would never be so arrogant to suggest that I was able to turn everything around for him – he had to decide that himself. But we did change a few things about the way he studied that helped. If you have a child who gets overwhelmed by homework, here are a few tips to try:

1. Study away from the TV. This seems obvious, I know. But you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve heard, “I can watch the game and do my math at the same time.” Don’t believe it! Even if your child can eventually do both, it will take twice as long.

2. Schedule something (fun) with an absolute timeframe. This particular point was very helpful for Jake.  If I said, “Let’s do your homework quickly, because you have swimming at 4:00,” then he knew he had exactly one hour to do as much as possible. This particular tip motivated him best.

3. Direct him towards independence. Sometimes you have to sit with your kids when they do homework. But what you may not realize is that kids are learning as much about your study habits as they are about the content they’re digesting. Are they learning how to divide and conquer large tasks? Pace themselves? Create anagrams to remember concepts? Summarize material? Make outlines? Make sure to give your child the tools he needs to work successfully and independently.

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Amy Osmond Cook, PhD is a freelance writer and mother of five who writes a family relationship column for OC Moms, the Orange County Register’s parenting section. She is the author of several books, including “Hope After Divorce” and “Why They Believe.”

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