In A Better You, Wellbeing

Helping Parents of a Pansexual


Who is a Pansexual? What is Pansexuality?

In a world of growing sexual preference variances, it can be challenging to fully understand each preference. Pansexuality is referred to as sexual attraction that doesn’t view their potential partners by their gender, but only by what they are attracted to. For example, a pansexual man may meet another man or woman and know if there is that spark or not based only on what they like in human personality traits or aesthetically speaking, not generalizing their dating patterns on same sex or opposite sex candidates only. A lot of pan-gender people do not represent themselves as a male or female also, there is sense of free thinking with them, and they enjoy being able to express themselves as a human with interests in other humans; not necessarily stating they are men or women.

The History and Definition of Pansexuality

The word pansexual derives from the Greek language, referring to the word “pan” which equates “all or every.” It is thought that this form of sexuality has been noted for decades, some even reporting signs of it surfacing back to the early 1900s, with the infamous Sigmund Freud having conducted his own research on the orientation. What confuses some new to this terminology is that ordinarily there have already been several sexual identities to become familiar with, but this one can appear greyer. Over time, the general public has become educated to some degree on other sexual identity terms such as- homo to equate the same sex, or bi to equate two, hetero equating the opposite sex and so on. Transgender sexuality is easily confused with pansexuality, but trans equates across whereas pans completely disregard the whole categorization of gender entirely.

What is the Difference between Pansexual v Bisexual?

Pansexual people do not wish to select their partners based on sex; it’s more a culture of folks that are not seeking to be labeled at all, but almost have to adopt this term in order for the public to fully understand their way of life. They do not see sexual orientation when becoming attracted to a mate. A bisexual is someone that sexually identifies with both males and females. Are they similar? Yes, but bisexuals still note if they are in a relationship with a man or a woman and a pansexual does not categorize their romantic encounters or partners in that particular specification. Obviously, the two terms are both open to the same sex as well as the opposite sex. One just doesn’t identify them as “sexes” to add any clarity.

Am I Bi?

This is a very common question, primarily for teenagers that have yet to fully feel identified with a sexual group. It is at this age that your mind is still actively trying to grasp what the act of sex is, and learning about your own body as well as what you may be attracted to. First, know that in due time your mind will pave the way for what your preferences romantically will ultimately be; and second as you grow older it will become easier to proclaim your own identity within those perimeters. You may feel that you have feelings for both sexes, and usually only one. If you have noticed feelings for partners of the same gender as well as the opposite gender, you may be seeing a clear indication that you are falling under the bisexual preference. Here is the great thing about still not knowing where you fit in, there is no set rule as to where you must categorize yourself sexually. Being a young adult is all about exploration and you will know soon enough what you mostly prefer under that romantic partner realm. There is no set age that the lights turn on and your orientation preferences all become crystal clear; nor is there a pop quiz you can take to see the results. Through life you will learn all about yourself, the meaning of your relationships. The older you get the more you become aware of what your real preferences are.

Define the word “Omni”

Omni comes from the Latin word “all.” It is pretty self-explanatory as to why this term would be utilized inside the scope of sexuality, as one person can be open to “all” genders or partners. The omnisexual flag is very popular one, it is pink, yellow, and blue and symbolic of encompassing everyone as a human race versus splitting up the identifiable groups by genders. Omni and Pan People are both different ways of expressing those that do not divide their likings to any gender to simply it as much as possible.

Are there any Celebrities that are Pansexual?

Of course! Celebrities are people just as you are, some have traits and likes in common with others, some you couldn’t be further from the same likes. Some noted celebs that have gone on the record proclaiming their openness to sexuality are Jesse J, Lady Gaga, and Tom Daley to name just a couple. Lady Gaga is known on a global scale for her acceptance of all sexualities, as well as heavily supporting them as an advocate for “one love.” Often it can be these famous folks that can unknowingly support a troubled or bullied teen going through a rough time in social circles, which can be a huge blessing for parents of teens that simply don’t feel confident enough to reach out to them in an open forum to discuss their sexual thoughts and feelings.

Pansexual Pride Involvement

Most gay or lesbian demographics have their own “pride days,” which is when they get a community of like-minded people or supporters of such to all join in a march, parade, race, party or fun event. It generally bring awareness to the public, puts a face to the name of people that is represents, and also can be a very liberating experience for those new to being public with their newly proclaimed sexual preferences. Here is what you need to know about showing your pansexual pride:

  • Pansexual day is celebrated December 8th. You can do a simple search on the web to find any already scheduled events in your local area, or be a leader and start your own awareness event in your town! There are also usually loads of events posted on social forums such as Facebook or Twitter to complete your searches.
  • You must rock your pansexual colors for the day! Show your support by wearing anything hot pink, hot blue, or hot yellow as those are the chosen colors of pansexuality. You can also order flags online to take with you to any marches and order from a slew of products marketing for this group. Anything from tee shirts, to socks, to banners; you will find all of your supportive needs on the web.
  • Major cities have more to choose from- big cities such as London or New York are always the frontrunners in events like this. Even if you city doesn’t have events to attend, consider taking a weekend trip to attend one. This could be one amazing way to show support as a parent for teenager or young adult that is still delicate about speaking openly to you about their sexuality. Showing your support by taking the day out just for them and in an environment that they feel comfortable in is a massive step toward complete acceptance.

How to Help Your Teen

Millions of parents around the world struggle with understanding the actions of their children. Times change, and for some parents it can be quite an obstacle to ask of them to overcome their own beliefs in order to support those of their children. It’s a hard line to cross, but if you notice or suspect that you teen may be enduring a hard time at school, during sports, or in general with his or her peers now is the time to act. With the success of social media kids are unfortunately on public platforms to be picked apart even if they didn’t post anything themselves online. Be proactive, whether you agree with your child or not on whatever issues they are being bullied over, now is the time to project love and support the disagreement on preferences or lifestyles can be discussed any time. A bullied or harassed teen can be pushed to the end of their level of acceptance, the results can be fatal. Look for signs of being alone, aloof, not engaged in the same usual activities, changes in appearance, and so forth in your children. If signs are present, then try to gently peel apart the layers to get inside their world and just be a voice of calm, and peace. They welcome this over the parent that wants to know everything and see it just as it is, a Mom or Dad just loving their kid.

Is Pansexuality Here to Stay?

It would be foolish to try to predict what sexual preferences generations will favorite over the next few decades, but it would also be remiss to not acknowledge that today’s youth has grown up under a more open way of life as opposed to children growing up even in the 1980s. People that openly admit they are gay, lesbian or otherwise are accepted in a lot of places in the world today which does show a remarkable trend in human acceptance and growth. There will always be groups of people that do not support pansexual men and women, but that could also be said about any other grouping of people from what sports they play to what type of foods they eat. As time goes by, it would appear that younger generations are more open to non-traditional ways of life, and are not as quick to categorize their peers as past generations would have. That said, it would be more likely that yes pansexuality will possibly continue to grow over the next 50 years.

What Makes Pansexual People Different from Gays

Here is a quick breakdown of variances in them:

vPans do not see gender when meeting a possible mate they are attracted to. Gays prefer partners within the same sexual gender.

vPans are under the “all” umbrella where they love all types there are no limitations to their partners.

vPans can date men or women, or trans genders. Again focusing on the person not their biological makeup.

vPans often have a harder time being represented whereas gays have grown in public acceptance on a global scale. Mostly due to the nature of pansexual life still being known as “new” to mainstream families. Once it becomes more of a term that is commonly utilized, there will continue to be more understanding and awareness of the term “pan or omni.”

What if My Teen or Myself Still Need Help?

Not to worry, this is a lot of information to take in. Here’s the great significance in what you have read already- you may be a parent looking for information on something your child has just divulged to you, and instead of writing it off entirely, you looked up more information on it. Knowledge is power, and even if you don’t fully agree with your pansexual teen’s likes or dislikes, you are becoming a more informed person on the subject to have an informative discussion on the topic so that in itself is a big step. Next, it may be helpful to write down a list of things you don’t understand about the sexuality. Discuss the list with your teen if possible, or a therapist or specialist in this field. Encourage your teen to think outside of the box by also speaking to his or her own school therapists for any outside support as often teens are not entirely at ease speaking to their own parents like an open book, but are willing to hash out some details with another adult. What you must understand is that a school counselor is not by law subjected to advise the parents of any discussion they have with your child, but if any point they sense any health issues, depression, or serious concerns they will notify the parents to formulate an action plan to keep the teen in the best possible care. Being a parent is hard work, and the older they get often the more work it requires. Keep calm as much as possible, trust in your abilities to guide your children into respectful adults, and when in doubt reach out to a professional to help you both find a path.

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