Douglas Todd: Is masculinity a problem to be overcome?

Is masculinity a problem to be overcome?

That’s what you might believe after hearing what some academics and filmmakers are claiming about the character traits of most men.

The documentary, The Mask You Live In, which was recently shown at a forum on men’s issues at the University of B.C., pictures masculinity as the driving force behind virtually all that is wrong with North American culture.

“Be a man!” “Don’t be a girl!” “Stop crying!” “What a fag.” “Grow some balls!” “Don’t let a woman run your life.” “Get laid.” “Stop with the emotions!”

These male rebukes are spat out at the beginning of The Mask You Live In. They’re part of the catalogue of stereotypical admonitions that the filmmakers claim compose the hidden social rules that forge the grim “mask” of masculinity.

The documentary argues these values cause widespread violence, abuse, addiction, crime and war — and it implies they need to be replaced by more feminine values, such as those related to sharing feelings, empathy, co-operating and nurturing.

The Mask You Live In builds its case against masculinity — which it would have been more accurate to define as “hyper-masculinity” — on a gender theory called “hegemonic masculinity,” which is purported to be a system of cultural narratives that keep men dominant.

This field comes laden with clichés about men. One related study published in the Sex Roles Journal argued that “masculine norms” include placing a high value on violence, being disgusted by homosexuality, acting sexually promiscuous, controlling others and pursuing social status at all cost.

Such so-called masculine norms seem cartoonish to me.

As Vancouver clinical psychologist Dan Bilsker says, The Mask You Live In and the academic studies that inform it often seem devoted to “vilifying and caricaturing” an extreme version of masculinity.

Even though there is probably a subset of macho men in North America who feel they must hide their true selves behind “the mask” of 19th-century sex-role stereotypes, I never seem to meet such fellows in the 21st century.

In reality, the North American and global landscape is brimming with a wide range of men and ways of being masculine.

Other men who have watched The Mask You Live In say they don’t recognize themselves or their friends in the documentary. Vancouver mental-health worker Seth McDonough experienced the film as pure propaganda.

The Mask You Live In, McDonough said, is an ideological argument that makes the “startling assertion we live in a rape culture,” gives into the “wild and unproven assumption that gender is purely a social construct” and furthers the dubious notion that “men are, by definition, privileged.”

Even though McDonough generally supports the film’s message that men should not confine themselves to narrow gender roles, he cites how philosopher Christina Hoff Sommers’ book, The War Against Boys, maintains too many North Americans are falling into the habit of demonizing masculinity in its entirety.

It’s not inaccurate to suggest some males hide their feelings behind the “mask” of toughness. But the filmmakers make the mistake of arguing their case by focusing on the extreme examples set by National Football League players, prisoners, U.S. soldiers and gang members.

Such super-aggressive realms have little to do with the different types of men found in computer technology, health care, the electrical trades, the clergy or education. The men I know who hike in the forest, volunteer as coaches, fish, garden, read history or play musical instruments just don’t embody the hyper-masculinity of a typecast NFL player or U.S. marine.

Indeed, Bilsker, lead author of the groundbreaking report, A Roadmap to Men’s Health, said he’s worked with soldiers, firefighters, police officers and athletes who also don’t fit the hyper-masculine stereotype. They do not want to follow macho rules. They are aware of the cost of being emotionally constricted.

The kind of slanted research on masculinity that fuel films such as The Mask You Live Income from many academic bodies. Some of the more prominent are Stony Brook University’s Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities and the activist website, Masculinity 101, which is filled with contempt for the concept.

One concern I have about this kind of research is that it is skewed by being American-centric.

After all, the U.S. is a highly militarized, competitive and weaponized society. It’s a country where major professional sporting events are often used to extol the power and glory of the most-powerful armed forces in the world.

Many American men, as a result, are often quite different from men in Canada, Europe and elsewhere. Bilsker has noticed this, too.

“When I travel,” he says, “I find Americans in general, men and women, more aggressive and intense than Canadians.”

Another concern is that Behind the Mask and the researchers it cites seem to have a blind spot for the flip side of macho. They rarely dig into hyper-femininity.

Both were on full display during the NFL Super Bowl game and its halftime show, when scantily clad performers such as Beyonce engaged in a great deal of sexual vamping, including with macho Bruno Mars.

Hyper-femininity lures women into an exaggerated need to appear physically attractive, thereby losing track of their authentic selves. Therefore it’s just as important to study and criticize as hyper-masculinity.

In addition, is it possible the business world is doing better research on men than academics?

Since advertisers are not interested in academic trends or social activism, but in what sells, their research may be more impartial. As Bilsker notes, advertisers need to understand their male target audiences. So it would be dumb for them to assume most men buy into hyper-masculinity when they don’t.

This must be why large companies such as Proctor and Gamble, Unilever and Microsoft are now increasingly creating advertising images in which fathers connect with children, men take part in household chores and males come with physical and emotional individuality.

Finally, are we overlooking some good aspects of masculinity?

Minnesota storyteller Garrison Keillor has pointed to the lack of satisfaction, for both genders, in men simply trying to be more like women.

“Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome,” Keillor says. “Being ‘all right’ is a dismal way to spend your life, and guys are not equipped for it. We are lovers and artists and adventurers, meant to be noble, free-ranging.“

Indeed, there are many so-called masculine characteristics that are worthy of admiration, just as there are positive traits associated with femininity. These qualities are a fluid product of both biology and social construction. They are available to all, regardless of gender.

In that context, Bilsker believes some of the traditional masculine virtues that remain valuable are a sense of responsibility, courage, honour and loyalty to family.

Others have suggested positive masculine traits include stability, independence, strength, discipline and love of adventure.

And even though some academics and films such as The Mask You Live In attack masculinity for promoting risk-taking, Bilsker counters that society needs the people, predominantly men, who feel called to be firefighters, soldiers, police officers, loggers, construction workers and emergency responders.

They run a much higher danger of being killed on the job than others, but we depend on them.

In other words, maybe there are qualities associated with masculinity that deserve to be honoured.



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