Автор: Н.И. Козлов

How to manage emotions?

​​​​​​​Emotions often arise not there, not those, not when it is necessary or not with the necessary intensity. Not always the usual reaction is the most adequate response, sometimes your emotions can be hurt by other people. When we are overwhelmed with emotions, it seems much worse than in a calm state. Sometimes you just need to rest, and unnecessary emotions then to anything. Developed personality to be able to manage emotions is useful, and the ability to manage emotions is a matter of education. It is the educated person that differs from the ill-bred in the first place by the fact that he is able to control his emotions even where it is difficult and not desirable. The developed personality controls his emotions, knows how to control his emotions and states, knows how to control himself.

In the usual situations, the right emotions are triggered directly, just as directly and naturally as raising your hand: you do not need special techniques and techniques to raise (or lower) the right hand. You just raise your hand and just drop it. It’s just that you are surprised when you need it, and you are surprised at the warm attentiveness when you need attention.

How can you manage your emotions, if necessary?

Watch your face. Keep a calm face.

The most important "recipe" is so simple that it irritates many: "To remove an unnecessary emotion, just remove the wrong face." Correct the eyes and lips .The main thing is to do this right away until the emotion is untwisted. "If you know how to do it, the intensity of emotion will immediately subside. If it is difficult for you - train the skill of calm presence.

Working out the skill of a quiet presence is one of the simplest and most effective ways to manage emotions. Indians are able to control their emotions, because they know how to keep a calm face. Training recruits in the army begins with the stand "Straight!" and other numerous procedures and rituals, including those aimed at developing a quiet presence. Recruits are ordinary children, it’s natural for them to be twisted and rattling, so they tend to be afraid, offended and upset. The army teaches them to keep a calm face and through it - manage their emotions, be able to maintain self-control and strength of mind in the most difficult and critical situations.

Watch the breath

Change in strength and rhythm of breathing almost instantly changes the emotional state. If you need to calm down, begin to take a quiet breath and exhale. When you need to raise energy, it’s enough to do energy-intensive exercises. Someone arranges a mini-training from karate, someone uses special yoga exercises - the essence is the same everywhere: these exercises are accompanied by strong sharp exhalations.

Control your thoughts.

Our thoughts direct our attention. If we pay attention to the bright side of life - we launch positive states. If attention with the help of thoughts is riveted to real or possible troubles - often there is a negative. At the same time, wisdom is not to not see the difficulties of life, but to treat them constructively: to remove the victim’s position and to translate problems into tasks.

If negative thoughts are circling, they need to be stopped. How? It is best to switch to other, more positive thoughts, and do it better for reliability out loud. Talk to yourself aloud - yes, it is necessary. Other options - switch yourself to bright, positive pictures - imagine a rainbow, beautiful flowers ... As a rule, it helps women and children well.

A separate great job is working with the beliefs that stand behind most emotional reactions. See the Declaration of Acceptance of Reality.

Emotional Keys

In a large number of situations, people control their emotions without noticing how they do, even if they use special emotion keys to trigger or stop emotions. The simplest and most effective key of emotions is the expression of the face and the figure of the body: if guests come to you and you need to express their sincere joy to them, you start to cheer them joyfully, take care of them carefully, probably embrace them, and your face will be alive, warm and open: almost immediately after that you already feel sincere joy.

Most people explain this by saying that it’s "because people are nice", not realizing that the real reason is 1) in launching kinesthetic keys of emotions and 2) in exchange with guests positive emotions that support and untwist each other.

On the contrary, the disturbance that has begun, while it is not untwisted, is easy to remove only by the fact that you relax your face, exhale, lower the volume of your statements, soften your language and, especially, your intonations. Whoever wants, he will always find ways to raise or change his mood, to remove unnecessary emotion or to set himself up on this or that matter. Meet with friends, include vigorous music, shopping, elementary sleep ... - a lot of household and simultaneously effective ways to increase the mood are known to everyone. In addition to household ways to change your condition, there are many special exercises. This is autogenic training, controlling the intensity of emotion, Key of Aliyev and many others. However, in order to control one’s own state, in most cases it is not necessary to know the special techniques, but to use timely and careful use of the arsenal that everyone knows and is always at hand. The main thing is desire and training.


Management of emotions should not be presented as a particularly difficult task, but it can not be simplified. In fact, not everyone is able to control their emotions, and not all emotions can be controlled in principle. Ability to own oneself in difficult life situations is a separate task requiring special knowledge.

The task of managing emotions is usually difficult because it is put by people who have already missed the moment when emotion arose, did not warn this occurrence, did not warn the actions of other people who created these emotions. At the same time, if a person goes into a more active, leadership position and launches his own and other people’s emotions before the waves of other people’s emotions flow to him, he no longer needs to control his emotions. He overtakes and manages the situation himself. Whether or not a person can control his emotions, a specialist is easy to determine just by looking at his body. If a person’s body is collected and at the same time calm, most likely the person owns his emotions. If the body is loose, hands-feet and facial expressions walk by chance and as if of their own volition (it happens), a person, most likely, their emotions to monitor and control is not accustomed. Even worse, if the body is very tense, when the body’s total clamping or body "rattles."

"Rattling" is observed when uncontrolled stresses run across the body, as a result of which a careful look will notice jerking of the shoulders, fingers, lips, muscles under the eyes ... To remove the "rattling", train a quiet presence. This is one of the most important conditions for managing emotions.

Another mandatory condition for managing emotions is the ability to confidently relax in a variety of conditions and circumstances, a habit of following the calm state of one’s body. This ability can be developed, training gives excellent results.

We list other skills, without which the management of emotions is impossible or difficult:

• The ability to control one’s attention. In particular, attract your attention to what is needed, and distract yourself from unnecessary.

• Development of facial expressions, training of facial expressions and gestures, use of a rich set of timbre of voice.

• The development of the imagination, the ability to believe what has just been invented, the ability to act "as if", immerse themselves "in the supposed circumstances."

• Control of breathing. Ability to control your breathing, the ability to play with your breathing, the ability to calm or excite yourself with different types of breathing.

And one of the most interesting moments in managing emotions is the realization of internal benefits in some kind of negative emotional states for us. As a rule, people do not realize that this anger or insult, this fear or terrible frustration, this hysteria or suddenly tired tiredness is not quite a "essential-natural reaction", but our not fully realized personal choice that is beneficial to us in this situation and decisive our various tasks. And until you realize why you are now experiencing what you are experiencing, attempts to remove this condition will be ineffective: just distract, the state will immediately return to you again. Is it easy to catch in ourselves this inner spring, which makes us keep to the usual experiences, can we "catch" our own internal benefits? Trained people, accustomed to honesty with themselves, track the internal benefits of their emotions without much difficulty, most in this case need the help of a psychologist.

Total: not all are able to control their emotions. Not all emotions can be controlled in principle. But your ability to manage emotions can be developed if you put yourself such a task. You can learn how to manage emotions yourself, or contact specialists in specialized centers. In the latter case, it is important that specialists are highly qualified, and the centers are time-tested. The largest training center in Russia is the "Syntone" center. Come to the training "The world of emotions: the art of being happier" – you’ll master the ability to control your emotions.

Статьи по теме:
Possession of emotions
Possession of emotions

Владение эмоциями - способность вызывать у себя нужную эмоцию, держать ее и убирать, когда она перес...

Development of expressiveness
Development of expressiveness

Свою выразительность можно (и нужно!) развивать. Выразительность своей речи, языковых оборотов, инто...

Manage your own state
Manage your own state

Управление собственным состоянием позволяет человеку оперативно менять свое функциональное, душевное...

Is it possible to control your emotions?
Is it possible to control your emotions?

Эмоции часто возникают не там, не те, не тогда когда нужно или не с нужной интенсивностью. Не всегда...

Что имеется в виду под управлением эмоциями
Что имеется в виду под управлением эмоциями

Люди часто жалуются на то, что они не умеют (или недостаточно умеют) управлять эмоциями. О чем они?...

Diary of emotions
Diary of emotions

Дневник эмоций - дневник, система отслеживания своего эмоционального состояния в течении дня (или не...