How to Understand LGBT+ Terminology

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Updated: January 12, 2020

Have you ever had trouble using the right terms when with the LGBTQ+ community? With a desire to better understand, you can learn the differences.


  1. 1
    Learn the overall terms used in "LGBT+".
    • Lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender, and queer are the most commonly used ones, but there are more, such as nonbinary and asexual. Getting some books from the library can help you understand more about these people and how they live.
  2. 2
    Learn about sexual identity. Sexual identity defines which gender(s) of people an individual is sexually attracted to. It says nothing about the way they dress, behave, or present themselves.
    • Lesbian: A lesbian is a person who identifies as female that is attracted to another person that identifies as female. Some fall into the "butch" (masculine) or "femme" (feminine) categories. However, their gender presentation is usually more nuanced than that, and not every lesbian couple is a mixture of the two.
    • Gay: Gay is a term to refer to all homosexual people, male or female, while lesbian is strictly for women. Gay men can be masculine, feminine or in between.
    • Straight: A person of either gender attracted to the opposite gender. Also called heterosexual.
    • Asexual: A person who experiences little to no sexual attraction. They may still fall in love, however. For example, a panromantic asexual is capable of falling in love with someone of any gender, while a homoromantic asexual only falls in love with people of their gender. There are many sub-categories in this identity, so it all depends on how a person feels about themselves.
    • Aromantic: A person that does not feel romantic attraction (but can be sexually attracted to someone if they are not also asexual).
    • Bisexual: A person of either gender, that likes people of both their gender and other genders. In contrast to pansexuals, gender usually plays a role in their attractions.[1]
    • Pansexual: Sometimes described as 'gender blind', a pansexual is attracted to men, women and everything in between (agender etc.).
    • Omnisexual: This is similar to pansexual, but gender plays a factor into their attraction. They acknowledge all genders regarding attraction as opposed to being gender blind, or gender having no impact on attraction.
  3. 3
    Learn about transgender and intersex people. Transgender people identify as a different gender than the sex they were assigned at birth. Many figure this out during their childhood or adolescence (though there are also many who realize their true gender later in life), and then transition to their real gender if the environment allows. Their "real name" and "real gender" are the ones that they prefer.
    • Transman/Transgender man/FTM/AFAB man (Assigned Female At Birth): A man who was thought to be a girl when he was born.
    • Transwoman/Transgender woman/MTF/AMAB woman (Assigned Male At Birth): A woman who was thought to be a boy when she was born.
    • Transsexual: A transgender person who has undergone medical treatment (such as hormone therapy or bottom surgery) so that their body matches their gender. This term is rarely used because some transgender people do not need surgery to feel comfortable with their bodies,[2] and some people consider it offensive. Most transgender people do not use this word at all because the word has "sexual" in it, which usually points to sexual orientation, and gender has nothing to do with your sexuality.
    • Intersex: A person whose genitals did not neatly fit into the "male" or "female" category when they were born. An intersex person may be of any gender.
  4. 4
    Learn about nonbinary genders. Some people do not feel that they are male or female, and believe that a different label best fits them (if a label fits at all).
    • Genderqueer: An umbrella term people use to refer to not cisgender.
    • Nonbinary: An umbrella term people use to refer to a person who does not identify as male or female, and may use gender neutral pronouns.
    • Bi-gender: A person who switches between two genders, usually masculine and feminine gender-type behaviour depending on the situation.
    • Genderfluid: A person who flows between two or more gender presentations, sometimes feeling male, sometimes female, sometimes others regardless of their birth gender.
    • Neutrois: A person with a neutral gender.
    • Agender: A person without any gender.
    • Androgyne: A person who is multiple genders at the same time, or middle gender.
  5. 5
    There's also the Q in the LGBTQIA acronym. It stands for "queer" or "questioning."
    • Queer: An umbrella term people use to refer to anything in the LGBTQIA+ acronym.
    • Questioning: People that are of any gender or circumstance that feel they may be one of the above sexualities or gender identities.
  6. 6
    Be accepting. Show sympathy and compassion for diverse people. Understand that there is more than one kind of couple and that love comes in many forms. LGBTQ people are your neighbors, family members, friends, peers, co-workers, and classmates. They are individuals, not what Hollywood stereotypes them, and are humans with dreams, feelings, and talents, just like you!

Community Q&A

  • Question
    I like both genders but I like girls a bit more. Am I still bi?
    Community Answer
    Definitely! You could be bisexual with just a more female preference. This is totally normal!
  • Question
    I don't feel like I have a gender, and I'm into both genders, but I rarely want to have sex with anyone except for people I've known for a while. Is this weird?
    Community Answer
    I'd identify you as an agender, biromantic, demisexual person. Agender means without gender, biromantic is feeling romantic (not sexual) attraction toward both genders, and demisexual is only feeling sexual attraction to someone whom you share a strong emotional bond/connection with. This is not weird, and you're not alone.
  • Question
    I'm a girl and I'm attracted to both genders. But, I'm not sexually attracted to guys. What am I?
    Community Answer
    You might be a biromantic homosexual. Study the difference between romantic orientation and sexual orientation, and see which terms fit.
  • Question
    I don't like either gender, romantically or sexually. I don't love anyone except for family and friends. What does this mean?
    Community Answer
    In that case, you would be aromantic and asexual.
  • Question
    I like both genders, but not sexually, would that count as asexual?
    Community Answer
    Yes, it would. Also, since you are romantically attracted to both sexes, you would be considered biromantic asexual.
  • Question
    I like "boy" clothes and sometimes I want to be a boy. Am I agender?
    Community Answer
    You might be genderfluid or a demiboy. Research the different types of genders, and see which words fit best for you. The LGBTQIA community can help you figure out who you are.
  • Question
    I'm a girl. I like men, but I also like women, or at times don't event care the person's gender if I'm attracted to them. What is my sexuality?
    Community Answer
    Most likely, pansexual (attraction regardless of gender). Read a bit about it and see if it fits you. Otherwise, you may identify as bisexual (attracted to same and other genders).
  • Question
    I am 13 yrs old and I have come out as aromantic/ace to three friends. One doesn't believe me, and my parents don't believe someone of my age knows yet. What can I do, and how can I come out?
    Luna Rose
    Top Answerer
    I'm aroace too, and I'm 22. I experienced zero attraction at your age, although I didn't have a word for it yet. Sexual/romantic orientation typically fully develops during preteen years, so you're old enough to have a very good sense of yours. Unfortunately, other people can be very uptight about young teens identifying as anything but straight. Recognize that it may take a few years for your parents to come around. Keep being yourself, and recognize that you may have to come out more slowly and gradually because people can take a long time to be willing to understand. And remember: you're valid. Find community and support where you can.
  • Question
    I'm a male that wants to be female, but am still attracted to girls. What is the term for this?
    Community Answer
    You are a trans girl/woman, who is gay (or bi/pan, if you like guys too). This is completely normal. Remember, your real gender is the one in your heart, not what's between your legs.
  • Question
    What is the word for when society doesn't like trangender people? For example there's a word for when society is racist for sexist, what about for transgender people?
    Community Answer
    "Transphobia" has been used in the past, although it is controversial because "phobia" suggests an anxiety disorder, when anti-trans hate is a choice, not a disability. Cissexism, "anti-trans discrimination," or something similar may work better.
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      • When uncertain, ask and respect the answer. For example, if you aren't sure what someone's gender is, you can ask "What pronouns should I use for you?"
      • Make sure that your questions are respectful, and not too personal. Think about what questions would make you uncomfortable. Simple questions like "How is your partner doing?" are fine (you wouldn't mind if an acquaintance wanted so see how you significant other was), but asking about something like if a trans man has had surgery is not okay. (Asking about people's genitals is usually not a good idea.)
      • If you don't understand something but think it would be rude to ask, read up. Books and the internet can tell you the how and why so people do not have to.
      • If you accidentally say the wrong pronouns, don't make it into a big deal. Correct yourself, and move on. The person will appreciate you dealing with it gracefully instead of making a scene.
      • Don't use the word "gay" to offend someone; it is rude, considering being gay isn't a bad thing.
      • If you intend to discriminate, at least stop and think about why your beliefs go against anything and break down the logic behind it. But try to avoid any discrimination at all.
      • Please don’t tell someone that is bisexual that they need to make up their mind, it is not that simple and they can't.
      • If someone you know (or you) is questioning, do not push them to make up their mind. Give them time and space, and try reading up, so you can support them if and when they come out.
      • Learn about the difference between romantic and sexual attraction. Many people are not simply gay, bisexual, straight, etc. but fall into categories such as “biromantic homosexual” or “aromantic pansexual”.

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      • Know that some LGBT+ people will use slurs in a reclamatory or joking sense. This doesn't give you a right to use those words.
      • Note that 'transsexual' is widely recognized by the LGBT+ community as offensive and a slur.
      • Watch your terms. Some people are deeply offended by certain words. Always ask what is OK to call them and what is not. An example is that older people who are gay would be offended if you said queer, but younger people could claim that word and use it.
      • Do not "out" anyone. Always find out who knows about someone's identity, and who doesn't know. If you out a LGBT+ person, it may make them lose their trust in you, ruin a relationship, or even jeopardize their safety. Never assume that someone knows.
        • It is okay to ask "So, who else knows that you're a lesbian?" This shows that you respect their privacy.
        • Don't introduce someone as "my gay friend" or "Tom, who is transgender." If the person wants their new acquaintance to know, they'll tell them personally, and it is seen by most people as objectifying to their sexuality or gender.

      About This Article

      357 votes - 84%
      Co-authors: 49
      Updated: January 12, 2020
      Views: 191,976
      Categories: LGBT Identity
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 191,976 times.

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