REPORT: 78% of people who think Uranus jokes are funny are just idiots

Alternative Science

BERKELEY, CA – Scientists at the University of California announced today that most of the people who find “Uranus jokes” funny are, in fact, actually idiots.

The results of the study were published in the journal Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience.

The Principal Investigator for the study was professor Martha Juptner. In an exclusive interview with, Juptner explained how scientists at UC Berkeley conducted their research.

“First, we noticed that there were many, many articles out there making jokes about Uranus. As grown adults, we assumed that the common elementary school joke had worn itself out by the time most children reached middle school, but headlines such as ‘NASA Next Big Project Will Be to Probe Uranus‘ proved us wrong,” said Juptner.

Juptner continued to explain the method for their study:

“We wanted to figure out why this joke has persisted for over 230 years. Most jokes or internet memes wear themselves out rather quickly, but this one has lasted nearly two and a half centuries. So naturally, we were curious about what exactly makes this ‘joke’ so special.

We surveyed 1500 people from Central California. We asked participants to rate various jokes about a myriad of topics. The results were simply stunning.

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We found an almost perfect correlation between people who find jokes about ‘Uranus’ to be funny and people who find jokes about ‘dihydrogen monoxide’ to be funny. What made this all the more interesting was that 78% of those who found ‘Uranus jokes’ to be funny also enjoyed the Big Bang Theory, with is a television program that is objectively awful. Our previous research into The Big Bang Theory found that the show garners its appeal by appropriating science and nerd culture while exploiting and mocking the mental/behavioral health of one of the main characters, Sheldon.

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We spoke with some of these participants near the end of our research, and found something remarkable: they’re idiots.

As with The Big Bang Theory, the jokes themselves are not intelligent or funny on their own merit. A common prerequisite for these jokes to be funny is for the audience to be stupid. After all, 50% of all people have an IQ under 100.

What makes ‘Diyhydrogen Monoxide’ or Big Bang Theory jokes funny to people is that the jokes sometimes have to be explained to those who don’t understand it. This allows the person explaining to feel superior to the other party, if only for a minute. They are then able to carry that sense of superiority with them into the rest of their miserable lives where they are otherwise uninteresting and unintelligent. These people aren’t smart, but they need jokes and TV shows like this to make it through their day.

Some have compared The Big Bang Theory to the legitimately brilliant television show Rick and Morty, which was recently approved for 70 new episodes. This comparison is simply not accurate.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation – his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existencial catchphrase “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools… how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.”