Back to index

Uncertain future: Israeli Children Speak

By Daniel Ben Simon (Ha'aretz)

Eleven students gathered in the office of Shula Carmel, the principal of the junior
high at the Rene Cassin School in Jerusalem. Five of them are in eighth grade,
six are in ninth. Apart from Roie Sheger, who lives in Rimonim, a Jewish settlement in the West Bank, all of them live in Pisgat Ze'ev north of Jerusalem, in tense proximity to the neighboring Palestinian locales of Beit Hanina and Shuafat. Their school is located in the Ramat Eshkol neighborhood, which is adjacent to the Palestinian neighborhoods of Wadi Joz and Sheikh Jarrah in East Jerusalem. On their way to school, many of the students go through three or four Palestinian neighborhoods. In the days before the intifada the trip to school was considered safe; now, many parents drive their children to school and prefer that they not ride buses.
Three times during the past year, Palestinian suicide bombers have attacked buses taking students home from school. On one of these occasions, two girls from the eighth grade at Rene Cassin were wounded.

In the principal's office, the students spoke about their fears, on life in conditions of war, and on the chances for a normal life in the future.

The ride to school

Or (an eighth-grader): "The trip is much more pressured than it used to be. I remember I went to a parent-teachers' meeting a while ago and there was a bag on the bus. I was really tense. Altogether, I'm afraid to ride the bus alone. After school, I'm less afraid, because I have friends from school with me and they distract me.

"The moment I get on the bus, my mobile phone begins to ring. My parents and especially my grandmother. She doesn't get off my back until I get home. She's always reminding me that there was a terror attack here and a terror attack there, and this really pressures me. I can understand her because she's afraid that something will happen to me, but I think she exaggerates a bit."

Paulina (an eighth grader who immigrated from Russia in 1990): "It used to be that when I took the bus home, I wouldn't look around. Now I'm looking around all the time because I'm scared that something will happen to people I love. It's on my mind all the time and it never leaves my thoughts. It's also hard for me to fall asleep at night because I'm afraid there will be a terror attack and people I love will be hurt."

Seffi (an eighth-grader): "When I'm on a bus, I'm not afraid. My only fear is for the members of my family. It's already happened that my brothers were in places where terror attacks happened. Also my sister and I were very close this week to the terror attack at the French Hill junction. This affects me and it bothers me and I can't shake off this oppressive feeling. It also bothers me how we look in the world and how the world sees what we're doing to the Palestinians. I think that if we had good propaganda, we would win more legitimacy in international public opinion.

"For that I wouldn't hesitate to show pictures of the dead and the wounded in the attack on the Moment cafe. I know that these are dreadful pictures but, in fact, maybe showing them might prevent similar incidents in the future."

Mor (an eighth-grader): "I'm not afraid on the bus that takes me to school. The problem is that I can't hang out downtown because my mother doesn't let me. I try to feel like usual and I don't want to put my life on hold, but I have a problem with my parents. I say that these are the best years of my life and if I don't live now, then when? The way life is here, I could die any day, so I have to get the most out of life before they attack me."

Alina (a ninth-grader): "Yesterday there was a terror attack and I made a million phone calls to people I know to make sure everyone was OK. Two of my friends were involved in a terror attack and I am afraid that it will also happen to me. Personally, I haven't been downtown for ages and I believe that I also won't go there. I really feel like going out with my friends, but I'm afraid to take the risk. Every Arab I see, I know he wants to harm me. Personally, I don't trust Arabs. The fact is that on the trip from Pisgat Ze'ev, they've changed the bus route so that we bypass the Arab villages. The most worrying thing is the ambulance sirens. All the time, all the time. How is it possible to live this way?"

Arnon (a ninth-grader): "I've decided not to be afraid because the State of Israel is ours and not the Arabs'. My parents also think the way I do. The Arabs want us to be afraid but we won't give them that pleasure."

Shiri (a ninth-grader): "I'm not like everyone else. I get driven to school every day. I'm not afraid to walk around, but what scares me most is that something could happen to my mother. If something happens to me, I'm not worried. If I get killed so I'm dead, I can't feel anything. But what hurts me most is what would happen to my family. It's clear that it would fall apart and that's terrible. I won't feel a thing because I won't exist any more."

Allon (a ninth-grader): "My parents really don't let me go out downtown. They actually lock the door and don't let me go out. Lately I've started to come to terms with the fact that I'm living with a locked door. I haven't gone downtown to have a good time for a year now. I miss this a lot, but at least I'm safe in return. I can't blame the Palestinians because all this is happening because we are an occupying nation. And people who understand these things know that you can't fight terror with occupation."

Moran (a ninth-grader): "I live in fear. I'm afraid all the time. Even when I'm at home, I'm afraid they'll come in and kill me. I'm afraid to walk in the street. For over a year, I haven't been downtown and I haven't even been to the mall. Sometimes I feel like I really want to go out but I'm afraid to. When I get home from school, I lock the door. I'm afraid to ride the bus, I'm afraid the terrorists will kill me. I'm most afraid that they'll kill my relatives. It's sad that the mood in this country is like this and it also affects my mood."

Roie (a ninth-grader): "I live in Rimonim, what's called a Jewish settlement in the territories. Every morning I get on a bus that has protective armor against gunfire, and every morning I follow a route where Palestinians live. I've already experienced having stones thrown, and once they even stopped all the vehicles and smashed our windows. I was so frightened, but my sister was more frightened and I threw myself over her to protect her. I've got used to the armored bus by now and to the stone-throwing, but I'm most afraid at night that they'll come into our settlement and attack me. It seems to me now that it makes no difference where I live because it's dangerous to live anywhere in this country now. I would recommend to my friends here not to be afraid because this gives satisfaction to the Palestinians."

Barak (an eighth-grader): "On the one hand, I'm afraid and I go out less and I also live I fear. On the other hand, I live in a country where I can go out in the morning and never come back alive. I think that after two years of living in an insane reality of terror attacks, I'm beginning to feel that this is the routine life of Israelis. I have to admit that I have also developed this kind of indifferent attitude and I'm afraid that over time, I will care less and less about casualties I don't know.

"The truth is that I don't know who's more normal. An eighth-grader in Jerusalem or an eighth-grader in Switzerland. Our reality makes us experiences things that accelerate our maturation. It will take a student in Switzerland a long time to understand what a student like me goes through who gets up in the morning and hears that a friend of his has been killed in a terror attack."

Hope and peace

Arnon: "At the moment, there's nothing to be said about peace. My idea is to go into all the Palestinian villages and occupy them again. Let them live under Israeli rule the way it used to be. My father was the governor of Jericho and he also says that it has to come back into our hands. In my opinion, we have to hold the Palestinians on a short leash and then they'll make fewer problems."

Roie: "That solution isn't realistic. In my opinion, there's only one solution. They have to accept us as part of this region and we also have to accept them as part of this region. I'm willing, but they don't want us. It's a fact: We gave them territories and they want more. Therefore, I would suggest to them that either they live with us or they get out of here."

Barak: "I don't see such a quick solution. There are pictures going through my mind in which I see my grandchildren talking about how to solve this country's security problem and how to resolve the conflict between us and the Palestinians. I have a feeling that the solution is slow in coming because both sides are so stubborn and so proud that they aren't able to live in peace alongside each other. Until both sides come to the conclusion that this situation is bad for them and is killing them, they won't be in any hurry to find a solution."

Seffi: "I'm less pessimistic than Barak, and therefore I figure the current situation can't go on like this. I have a feeling that both the Palestinians and the Israelis are ripe for change and this will happen in the range of two or three years. Both sides know that they can't go on like this. Israel has to understand that a Palestinian state is the Palestinians' right just as the State of Israel is the Jews' right. The problem is leadership. Everything would look different if we had different leaders."

Mor: "I think that both sides are already sick of it because who wants people to die like this? I wouldn't want Roie's house to be taken away for peace and I wouldn't want my house to be taken away."

Roie: "Rimonim is a wall protecting Jerusalem. If I weren't living there, the Arabs would be living there."

Alina: "I'm pretty extreme but at the same time, I don't think that all the Palestinians need to be lynched. This is what I say. When there's a funeral of one of them and thousands are screaming against Israel, then you just have to climb into an airplane and shoot them. Because all they have in mind is killing Jews. So why not kill them first?

"I'm a very humanitarian person, but we can't go on living like this. I was a leftist until the day two girls I knew from the high school here at Rene Cassin were killed. The father of one of my girlfriends was also killed and therefore I'm very angry. I don't know of another state that occupies and then gives back the territories it occupied. The only thing we gained from the Holocaust is our state and I'm not prepared to give it up."

Moran: "Life is hard but to achieve peace both sides have to make compromises. The Palestinians also deserve a state. We have no alternative but to give up certain settlements in the territories because if we want to live in peace with them, we will have to make concessions. Also so as not to lose my friends, I'm prepared to make concessions."

Allon: "Why are you just talking about Palestinian terrorism? And our undergrounds before the state was established - that wasn't terrorism? I have no problem with giving back even Pisgat Ze'ev, where I live, for peace."

Shiri: "I think that it's not nice what they're saying about the Jewish settlements. They are helping us expand the state. And anyway, how can they be given back? I have friends who live in them."

Seffi: "But a human life is more important than territories. You have to know that the settlements are draining a lot of money from the state, not to mention the blood they are exacting from us."

Barak: "If they promise me complete peace if I leave Pisgat Ze'ev, then I'd be willing. Because for me, too, human life can't be weighed against keeping territories. The fact is that when we left Lebanon, no one was killed and so the price was worth it. Therefore, if you ask me what's worth more, I'd say that human life is worth immeasurably more."

Roie: "I'm sorry, but you're not being realistic."

For a long time, they continued to argue about peace and war, and to a large extent, reflected the debate that is going on among older people. The intensity of the debate was also similar.

Quieter and more pensive

For 16 years, Shula Carmel has been the principle of the junior high school at Rene Cassin. The teachers describe her as a tough principal who is involved in the student's life. A few months ago, a graduate of the junior high was killed in a suicide attack at the Jerusalem pedestrian mall. The next day, the junior-high students were scheduled to go on a field trip to the Judean Desert. Parents and teachers demanded that she cancel the trip. After thinking it over thoroughly, she decided to stick to routine. She took a huge responsibility upon herself, but did not regret her decision.

"For three days, the joy of life came back to the children and they had a smile on their face," she related this week. "I felt that the field trip brought back their youth and joy."

During the past year and a half, she has seen how the murderous reality is shaping the students' mood. They are so anxious that many of them prefer to stay on the school premises to protect themselves from the troubles at home and outside.

"You have to remember that 10 percent of these children's lives has gone by during the intifada," she said. "These are critical years that we won't be able to give back to them. Everyone copes in his own way, but I've noticed that they're quieter, more pensive and try to be together more. Apparently this gives them a feeling of security."

In conversations with them, she has learned that the major source of distress is that something might happen to their parents or relatives, or to their friends.

"Since the intifada, they are living with uncertainty," she added. "They don't know whether to go out, or to stay home. They also see the adults feeling helpless and in a similar state of anxiety. The result is that they have no one to derive security from and no one to imitate, because in the atmosphere that has developed, the adults are afraid just like the children."

Carmel is worried that the scars will remain with these teenagers in the future as well: "Only when they do research to see how this killing has affected our children will they discover that there is cause for concern. I have no doubt that these trauma will not evaporate quickly and that some of these children will grow up to be hedonists, very fatalistic, and less trusting of life. I'm trying to see to it that the school remains an island of sanity at times like these; the fact is that many of the students stay after school because they feel that they are more protected.

"As someone who was born in 1948, I feel bad that I say to myself, what kind of country are we leaving our children? The people of my generation have to try harder."