Q: You, along with many other religious leaders, use the words, “God wants us to...” Please tell me how you know what a supernatural being wants? – M.

A: Good question. The differences between the teachings of faith and the teachings of just anyone who thinks he or she has a direct line to God are clear and important.

The first way we know what God wants is through our sacred scriptures. Holy Writ represents, for believers, the trustworthy content of God’s revelation. Scriptures are usually not the work of one God-intoxicated person but are the combined remembrances of many believers over a long period of time.

The scriptures of a particular religion are also set in the context of generations of authoritative commentators who have interpreted difficult passages and clarified religious obligations. Scriptures stand, but they do not stand alone. By rooting our lives in these ancient teachings, we certify through our faith and works that the path of life taught in our scriptures will produce a life of humility, love and compassion and lead to salvation. We know this because of the spiritual goodness of the lives of our ancestors, who lived by these teachings and walked on that sacred path. Revelation through scripture is the first way we know what God wants from us.

The second way we know what God wants is through the truth of reason. Scriptures are only accessible to believers as a proof text for their lives, but human reason is accessible to all people who can think clearly about what is the right thing to do. The key to the truth of rational ethics is that they are universalizable. They are true for all people, believers and secularists.

Reason is the second way we know what God wants because God wants the truth to be lived in our lives and our world. Sometimes (I would argue, most of the time), religion and reason generate the same laws for life. The term for this is “natural law.” The biblical laws prohibiting murder and theft, for example, are completely consonant with reason.

Of course, it is true that sometimes the path of revelation and the path of reason diverge. The easy cases are religious rituals that do not offend reason but could never be generated by reason. We light candles in our home on Friday night to celebrate the arrival of the Sabbath, but I would never rationally argue that all people should light candles on Friday night. It is a Jewish ritual act.

Lighting candles is not immoral; it’s just not moral. It is a particular act Jews perform to celebrate a belief in a God who wants us not only to work but also to rest (which one might argue is ultimately a moral claim). Rituals give religion its color and distinctiveness, its flavor and its calendar of sacred times. Rituals and rational ethics comprise the basic content of what God wants us to do.

Could a ritual be immoral? Could a religious ritual be an act that’s not only particular to a religion, but also offensive to reason? Yes.

As a liberal religious Jew, let me say that I consider the traditional Jewish ritual prohibiting women from reading from the Torah to be immoral and I don’t follow it in my synagogue. I believe that God wants my daughter, Mara, to have the same spiritual horizons as my son, Max. Some Catholic friends believe that women should be allowed to be ordained as priests for the same reason.

Is this just my personal belief? No. I believe there are sources in Jewish law, just like my liberal Catholic friends feel that there are authentic sources in Canon Law, that allow for a more inclusive treatment of women in our faith life. Traditionalists believe that once you start making your own emendations to inherited tradition there is no end to that slippery slope.

What I would say in sum is that this debate is healthy and will continue forever. I would also say that the number of rituals that might be immoral is very small indeed. As for me, I don’t believe that God wants us to cover immorality with the mantle of religious obligation. When God showed Abraham that child sacrifice was immoral, God established that his word and the truth are one.