Not all older people are grandparents


Not all older people are grandparents

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One of the many consequences of there being more people aging without children is that more and more people are not, and never will be grandparents. 1 in 5 people over 50 have no children and therefore of course no grandchildren. In addition, there are many more older people who do have children but those children will never be parents, and therefore who will also not be grandparents.




“my friends constantly talk about their grandchildren, it gets very wearing”

“Facebook seems to be full of grandparents talking about their grandchildren”


However, it’s also hard for older people who do have children who are not parents through choice or circumstance. In my own family, until my sister had a child, I know how difficult it was for my own father at family gatherings when all his sibling’s grandchildren were running about and he was constantly asked when one of us was going to have a child.

Grandchildren are often used as a default way of connecting with other older people, and just as people often don’t know what to say when someone says they don’t have children, so responses to not being a grandparent can be equally as unhelpful.  Along with “oh poor you”, other common ones are “oh I’m sure it will happen” (not thinking that the person child may be unable to have children at all)  or “I’m sure they will get round to it soon” (not thinking that their child may have made a deliberate choice never to have children) or “hahaha you can have some of mine” (highlighting that they have loads whereas you have none at all)



One of the other results of not being a grandparent reported by people aging without children is a feeling of being cut off from future generations.




One of the reasons AWOC wants to set up local groups is so that people aging without children can come together and share their feelings about issues like this with other people who understand. If you work with older people, please try and remember that not all of them will be grandparents and that this may be a source of grief to them. Just as not all people are parents, not all older people are grandparents.

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