by Wendy Dawson, SPED Homeschool Partner Social Motion Skills/Incuentro


“Confabulation.” A big word with big ramifications. When I first read about confabulation, I found it interesting because it relates strongly to my experience working with individuals with autism and special needs. The very concept is incredibly intriguing yet worrisome until you understand it. 


So what is confabulation? According to Verywellmind.com, confabulation is a type of memory error in which gaps in a person’s memory are filled unconsciously with fabricated, misinterpreted, or distorted information. When someone confabulates a memory or a piece of information, we aren’t receiving the whole truth. This is troubling if we ask our child to recount an event that happened at school or work because it might not be the complete story but rather only a partial interpretation of what really happened. They may even tend to recall only the last thing they heard about an incident rather than what transpired. The problem is a piece of the truth is not the whole truth.


As parents and educators, we need to understand confabulation is a real phenomenon and the importance of not jumping to conclusions in situations. Our children will likely tell us the truth, but it may unintentionally only be a partial truth. According to an infographic in Verywellmind.com, symptoms of confabulation are:

  • A lack of awareness that a memory is false or distorted
  • No motivation for deceit or to lie
  • Misremembered information based on actual memories
  • Stories can range from plausible to completely unrealistic


Now that you know what confabulation is, it’s important to remain aware in situations where knowing the whole truth is paramount. When your child comes home from school and tells you a story about a fight in the cafeteria, you might consider getting different perspectives from others who were present. Your young adult child tells you about a harassment incident at work. It might be prudent to contact the supervisor on duty, not because you don’t believe your child, but rather to get the full scope of the situation. 


Some simple steps that you can take to help your child more accurately recount an experience are as follows:

  1. Give them time to process. Let them think about a situation before you ask questions.
  2. If they are able, have them write down the details as soon as possible rather than recount them verbally.
  3. Ask specific leading questions about a situation. Re-orient them to the situation and help them think through exactly what happened.


Your child should always feel confident in sharing information with you and knowing that you take their word seriously. Getting to the truth – the whole truth- is always important, but your child may be unable to recount their story with certainty, or there may be more to the story than they can aptly explain. Remember, confabulation is not intentional lying.



Spitzer, David, et al. “Confabulation in Children with Autism.” UCL Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience, 5 Oct. 2016, core.ac.uk/download/pdf/79541374.pdf.






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Renee Sullins, SPED Homeschool Consulting Partner

In working with teenagers for many years, I have learned that if there is ONE thing that teenagers understand well, it’s PROCRASTINATION. Not to say that adults are not guilty of the same, but teenagers are quite adept at it.

There are three types of procrastinators I would unscientifically categorize as the blatant procrastinator, the passive procrastinator, and the convicted procrastinator.


The Blatant Procrastinator purposefully ignores an assignment or task and is aware of the consequences. They are not concerned that something is due the next day or that there is even a deadline involved. It may be important to someone else, but not to them. They simply let the deadline pass and move on, much to the displeasure of their parents who may not even know.

Blatant procrastinators would rather do something they want to do and don’t see it as procrastination. This may be the teen who has a messy room, refuses to use a calendar or planner, and has a list of excuses for everything. Why bother to clean your room when it will just get messy again? Planners are too restrictive! These teenagers are also the ones who spend countless hours gaming or on social media.


The Passive Procrastinator waits until the last minute to finish so it does not seem to be a big problem. They are aware of deadlines and may even track things in a planner, app, or notes on their cell phone. They have good intentions of following through, but they just cannot accomplish tasks on-time consistently. They know where they want to be, but struggle to manage their time.

Passives may believe they have finished, but in reality, it is only partially done and they don’t notice until it is too late. These teens are usually the ones with ADHD and who are aware of their learning differences, but they are not using the necessary tools to focus and manage their time. Passive procrastinators know the consequences of not getting something done on time. They are often the most amenable to trying new strategies to help prevent procrastination, though.


If we can determine what is getting in the way of their success and help them get unstuck, then they are more motivated to cultivate new habits for their success.


The Convicted Procrastinator has a heightened awareness that they are procrastinating but, instead of working toward their goal, they quickly become overwhelmed and spiral into thoughts of self-criticism, defeat, and guilt. They are so hard on themselves that they self-sabotage and end up not getting anything done. Or, they are so overwhelmed about their lack of activity, there is often a resultant headache, stomach ache, or even a migraine. When this happens, they feel even worse, and it becomes a vicious cycle.


I would also like to mention a fourth type of procrastinator that I know well as I witnessed this type in my teen. They are a kindred spirit to the Passive but to a more extreme level. It is the Avoidant Procrastinator. This is the teen who thinks that if they don’t think about it at all, it will go away. I had one of those in my house. It does not go away. It only gets worse and can cause great anxiety and stress.  Please be aware of the signs that your teen may suffer from more than just being a procrastinator.


So what should a parent do? Each procrastinator has his or her own set of rules, coping skills, excuses, and struggles. The first thing I do when I work with young people is to let them know that I come from a place of curiosity, not a place of judgment. We dive deep to determine what they want for themselves, how they want to be seen and heard, what is important to them, and their “why”. If we can determine what is getting in the way of their success and help them get unstuck, then they are more motivated to cultivate new habits for their success. This takes time, patience, and intentional listening.

The teen years are transitional years of becoming more independent yet still needing the approval and counsel of parents. When you have a procrastinator in your home, instead of asking nagging questions or given them endless reminders, seek out resources to get them the support they need that works uniquely for them. This may take some trial and error, but in the end, they will find their way, and will feel empowered and in control of their lives now, and hope for the future.






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