enfj personality

ENFJ Personality Type Secrets

ENFJs are charismatic and influential people who put others before themselves. They are genuinely interested in helping the people around them improve, using their natural influence to help people and organizations to succeed. The ENFJ personality type is among the most caring and altruistic personalities but can have a dark side. This is likeliest to appear when under stress or in difficult situations.

1. The ENFJ Personality Lives for Other People

An ENFJ’s worldview is shaped by other people. Their entire motivation is made up externally, based upon human situations and relationships. ENFJs constantly want to help other people to be the best they can be. They work tirelessly to make things right in the world of others around them, and to enable and empower friends, colleagues and family members. ENFJs are great empathizers, able to easily understand other people’s feelings, perspectives and needs. ENFJs feel that they are following their life’s path when they’re bringing out the best in the people around them.


2. Their People Skills Can Be Used for Good or for Evil

ENFJs have amazing people skills. They can usually convince people do anything they want them to do through encouragement. Since the majority of ENFJs are truly concerned with the welfare of others, it is rare that an ENFJ will use this ability for misdeeds. They do have this power though, and may exert more control over others than they realize.

ENFJs have an uncanny ability to subtly direct people into making decisions that they feel is best for the person. For example, an ENFJ might feel that it is necessary to nudge someone into making a decision that will help them grow.

ENFJs aren’t interested in direct arguments or conflict. Instead, they use their insight into the person to come up with a solution and then convince them that it’s the right way to go. This is quite Machiavellian, in its own way. Since ENFJs are so charismatic and enthusiastic, it usually doesn’t take much effort. This subtle manipulation can become problematic when ENFJs push their own agenda onto others, even if it’s done with positive intentions.


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3. Their Self-Esteem Takes More Frequent Hits Than You Would Think

ENFJs get their sense of self-worth and their self-esteem from external sources. They feel productive when they’re able to make everybody around them happy, and they feel fulfilled by their compassion and deep connections with other people. Time alone, and achieving personal goals, is not nourishing to an ENFJ’s sense of self. However, although ENFJs have great aptitude for influencing others, it’s never possible to completely control other people. This can lead to an inherently fragile situation. An ENFJ’s self-confidence will be shaken when they’re not able to help people, or if their attempts at help are criticized and rejected.


4. They are More Reserved than Other Extraverts

The typical hallmark of an extrovert is someone who is outgoing, energetic, and loves being around other people. This does apply to ENFJs, but this type is more reserved than other extroverts. This is because ENFJs place significant importance on other people’s feelings. If an ENFJ worries that their own self-expression would stifle someone else’s, they will step out of the spotlight to allow the other person to shine. An ENFJ’s top priority is always to bring out the best in others, so they only show the parts of themselves that they feel will benefit that goal. Never think an ENFJ is being rude – they actually have your best interests in mind.


5. They Sometimes Feel Alone Even When Surrounded By People

It seems unusual for any extroverted type to feel alone when surrounded by other people, but ENFJs do. This personality type can be lonely in a crowd. They place so much of their energy and focus onto other people they might not understand themselves. This can be reflected in the ENJJs behavior and interpersonal dynamics. This is especially true for ENFJs who hold back parts of themselves in order to protect others – tact is hugely important for this personality type, who would rather say nothing at all than something potentially hurtful. ENFJs who feel this way might go to extreme lengths to never be alone, even engaging activities they have no passion for in the pursuit of company.


6. They Can See Right Through You

As ENFJs go through life, they develop increasingly superior skills at reading people. They are very good at recognizing other people’s motivations, desires, and emotions. Since their primary interest in life is to help people improve, it’s a natural skill that they develop over time. People who have an ENFJ in their life sometimes feel exposed though, as ENFJ personality sees right through falsehoods. While this level of understanding can be a great help in developing new relationships, it can also be smothering once both people know each other well.


7. They Can Over-Burden Themselves with Other People’s Problems

ENFJs will often agree to help, even if they don’t have the time or energy available. Many people automatically turn to an ENFJ for help, assistance or advice. For their part, the ENFJ is always happy to help. Unfortunately, there can sometimes be too many demands on an ENFJ’s time, but this personality type feels terrible when they have to turn somebody away. In addition, ENFJs become dedicated and passionate about causes or projects. This means the individual will devote too much of their personal time to them. If you have an ENFJ in your life, try not to take advantage of their caring and compassionate nature. If in doubt, investigate their workload without asking directly.


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