Category Archives: kindergarten

How To Talk So Young Gifted Children Will Listen



greyson-joralemon-299735I have written a few posts about identifying giftedness in very young children ( Your Bossy Baby or Toddler May Be Gifted. Really. Here Are The Signs You Are Missing!  and Gifted Or Disordered? The Unrecognized Behavioral Traits of Young Gifted Children ) but I want to give some specific attention to communicating with a young gifted child.

Communicating may seem to be the least of your worries when raising or teaching these kids!  Many, but not all, gifted children start speaking early.  And they waste no time once they learn to speak.  Gifted toddlers are known to be chatty, specific, and often demanding in their insistence that you listen to them.  Getting them to listen to you is usually the problem.

Why?  Not because giftedness confers entitlement or because they are spoiled.  The gifted brain is wired for details and connections like a heat-seeking missile.  It likes novelty and intensity over routines.  Gifted kids cannot stop themselves from seeing relationships between objects, events or ideas.  They often want to change the rules of a game and strongly value their own viewpoint.  They learn one concept and will immediately have seven more questions about that topic.  And they want all their answers responded to.   Right now.

You will probably never be able to use “Because I said so” and get away with it when speaking with a gifted child.  Why?  Your response provides no details, no information for the gifted mind to chew on.

Here are a few suggestions that make communicating with a gifted child more successful and even enjoyable:

  • When making a request or giving a direction, be clear that it is one or the other.  Gifted children will take you at your literal word when you say “Could you clean up your space now?” and respond that they could, but they don’t want to.  Ask them to clean up, or offer them the choice to do it now or in 2 minutes.
  • If you do make a request, provide a simple rationale but use the “big words” they love.  “Please clean up so that we have enough space and less visual distractions to do _______on the table” is logical and saves the time you would spend to repeatedly ask them if you said  “Clean up now”.   It also adds some vocabulary words they may not know.  That can be like catnip to a gifted mind!
  • Don’t be offended if you get a quick retort that things could be done a different way.  Gifted children aren’t necessarily being rude or sassy.  They are stating what is obvious to them:  there are more ways to accomplish this task than the one you laid out.
  • Explain your reasoning when you get a rebuke, and make sure it makes sense.  Gifted kids dislike illogical or rigid thinking.  They may comply with your directions because of a reward or peer pressure, but they will not see you as an authority if  your reasoning doesn’t demonstrate clear and rational thought.  The exception to this rule is when your rationale is creative and expansive.  Some, but not all, gifted kids will go along with this type of thinking because it suggests more excitement could occur by following you there.
  • Be prepared to be exhausted.  Gifted children’s minds work overtime, and you may be caught up in complex stories or conversations about anything and everything.  These kids can go on forever, it seems, ferreting out more information from you and coming up with multiple lines of thought.  Expect that you will be asked to give them this kind of attention.  It can be fun, not exhausting, if you set limits for time and attention.  If you have to move on, suggest that you can take this conversation back up later.  They probably will remind you of this promise later on!
  • Suggest that they use their creative powers to come up with new ways to play with old toys or combine two toys or games with other children.  Gifted children do not always need adult interaction, even though they often seek adults for play.   They will often say that their peers cannot or do not want to take play in a direction that they find fun or exciting.  By giving them a creative start and letting them explore, they may find ways to get peers involved as more than assistants or observers.















Automoblox: For the Discriminating Preschool Gearhead





These cars and trucks are so well crafted and have such sophisticated styling that they even impress adults.  They certainly have made me a big fan!

Automoblox are small vehicles that your 3-6 year-old child assembles by themselves or with some initial help.  They have small pieces, so they are not for children that casually put objects in their mouths.  They are harder than Duplo LEGOs to assemble, but easier than those standard and tiny LEGO pieces, and require far fewer parts to complete a vehicle.  So many younger kids want to be able to make a LEGO set by themselves, but get discouraged when they need so much help. They are in tears when their car falls apart because they didn’t have the ability to hold and manipulate the delicate LEGO vehicle with the necessary control.  Enter automoblox!

As a pediatric OT, I am often asked for advice on toys for holidays and birthdays.  These beautiful cars and trucks make terrific (if somewhat pricey) gifts for kids that may not be into arts-and-crafts but need to spend some time building visual-motor integration.  To assemble each vehicle, a child is required to use both hands in a skilled manner and use a refined grasp pattern.  Children don’t need significant strength for assembly, and most will learn the basic construction sequence quickly.

The pieces are mostly interchangeable between vehicles, meaning that although some wheels will only fit the car bases in their specific collection,  they do allow creative builders to experiment with new designs.

Parents who want to minimize the amount of plastic in their homes will be happy to know that the chassis are wood and some of the components are metal as well.  These cars roll very smoothly, and they stick together even after being crashed into walls, furniture and each other.  They can handle the rough play the average preschooler will dish out.

Take a look at automoblox this holiday season.  Your little gearhead (and probably dads and older siblings) will be thrilled to play with them!


Holidays Hints For Sensitive Kids


The stores are full, your inbox is too, and you are wondering how to handle your sensitive child’s reactions to family and school events.  You are not alone.

Everyone knows about the “holiday blues”, where our dreams and expectations come up against real life:  awkward family relationships, conflicting demands on our time and finances, etc.  But for kids with sensory and emotional sensitivity (I don’t see these as always separate issues, by the way), surviving the holiday season can be very difficult indeed.  The excitement and the novelty of the holidays affect them more intensely and are not always welcome additions to their days.   Here are some suggestions to make things better:

  • Think about an event before you commit to it.  The hour of the day, the size and the activity, the duration of the event are all considerations.  You know your child, so you can identify what factors will be the most challenging and what will be easier to handle.  In general, sensitive kids do best with smaller, shorter, quieter and earlier events.
  • Create your own event around your child, and invite others to join in.  When you get to design it, you have more control over how things play out.  Some suggestions would be cookie decorating, visiting a nursery or outdoor holiday display, making wrapping paper with crayons and stickers, and watching a holiday video party.
  • Get your sensory diet activities all set up for an event that you can’t or won’t cancel. Your OT should be able to help you craft a plan to reduce your child’s overall sensitivity with input such as deep pressure, breath control, tactile input, etc.  Just ask.  Most of us would be happy to help you.
  • Do not forget the basics of keeping any child calm at an event:  enough sleep, enough to eat and drink, and being healthy enough to participate.  If your child is ill, tired, or hungry, you need to think carefully about how well he will manage, and make the decision to cancel or alter your plans.   Sometimes the situation isn’t going to be fixed with a few bounces on a therapy ball and some joint compression.  In these situations, your child isn’t any different from any other child.


If you are looking for ideas about how to decrease sensitivity, take a look at How to Help Sensitive Kids Handle Greeting People (Including Their Own Parents!) and Sensory Sensitivity In Toddlers: Why Responding Differently to “Yucky!” Will Help Your Child

Holidays can be fun for everyone, including sensitive children.  Plan well, be flexible, and make thoughtful choices that work for your family!

Make Handwriting Fun While Getting Ready For The New School Year

Here in the US, kids are getting ready to go back to school.  And most of them haven’t been writing much in the last 6-8 weeks.  At the kindergarten level, some children will have forgotten any lowercase letters they knew in the spring.  At the 1-2 grade levels, it is not uncommon for kids to forget how to form letters, where to place them on the baseline, and how to use simple punctuation.   Teachers sometimes need to use the first 1-2 weeks for review alone.

What if they didn’t need to review?  What if your child was ready to hit the ground running (and writing)?  There is nothing like seeing a confident kid sit down to crush her homework instead of struggling through it.  For all those writers who worked hard last year and are a little nervous to pick up a pencil again, here are some ideas that help getting back to writing fun and easy:

  1. Get good materials.  Kids are just like adults.  We like new, cool stuff.  So do they.  I recommend using the best eraser (Problems With Handwriting? You Need The Best Eraser ) and either the small Learning Without Tears (they changed their name!!!)  pencils for kindergarteners, or the Papermate 1.3mm lead mechanical pencils for older kids.  Take a look at my post on these useful pencils Great Mechanical Pencils Can Improve Your Child’s Handwriting Skills
  2. Use fun workbooks like Madlibs and games like Hangman.  Make up games that you think your kids will find funny.  Try the Junior version of Madlibs for grades 2-3, and the regular one for the higher grades.  There are themes for every kid, trust me.  Something will be funny.  Do them together with your child, have a contest for silliest madlib, send them to relatives that can appreciate this humor, etc.
  3. Target any errors made in writing their first and family name first.  Those errors will be repeated over and over in the first few days of school if you do not focus on them.  Time to make this a priority.
  4. Figure out where the gaps are, and hit the low-hanging fruit next.  Why?  Because that builds confidence.  Look for simple errors with easy-to-write or frequently written letters.  Think “a”, “e”, and “t”.  Doesn’t even have to be letters; could be numbers.  Kids need to feel like they can hit singles, and then they will try harder for doubles and triples.  Forgive the baseball reference; I saw a ton of stickers and vanity plates today.   Apparently all of my neighbors are big baseball fans!

There are only a few weeks of summer left, but if you make a small effort,  it can mean a lot to a child’s first weeks of school!

Problems With Handwriting? You Need The Best Eraser













Taping The Paper To The Table For Your Child? Stop!






So….no more tape on that paper, OK?