As I went out for one last smoke before going to bed, I came to think about Spoonerisms.
The associations took their course through an expression me and my ex made up, "don't throw rocks in a hoodie", referring to the expression "don't throw rocks in a glass house" and the pun/Spoonerism "don't throw glass in a stone house".

A small note must be made; As I did a quick google search to see if this expression is also an English one (i.e. not a Swedish expression, incomprehensible to English readers) it turns out that "Throw rocks at boys" gets 13 400 000 results, and "throw rocks in a glass house" gets 2 670 000 results. Got to love that auto-fill!)

Spoonerisms are fun to a lot of people. I find it most amusing when a Spoonerism finds its way into everyday language, thus making people forget the "real" word. Butterfly is one of these.
Me and above-mentioned ex once had a fairly long discussion about the origin of the word butterfly, as it didn't make sense to us. Sure, we could understand the yellow ones and their resemblance to butter, but they come in so many colors. Several months later, we visited some relatives of mine. They happened to have a copy of the Oxford dictionary of word origins, (which could be this book, but I'm not sure as the one we looked at had a more... serious appearance)and in it we found that the creature used to be called flutterby. This makes more sense, because, well, that's what it does for a hobby. I really makes me smile that I know something about the English language, that most people with English as mother tongue doesn't.

In Swedish, some people, mostly middle-aged men, jokingly refers to phones with a spoonerism. The word is telefon, and they make it into feleton. That, I'm glad so say, has not become a common expression.

What other common spoonerisms do you know? Comment and let me know.

A productive night.

As most people I interact with online are americans, they're active when it's night here. I was following some interesting discussions, and now "suddenly" it's 04.28 a.m. here.

Today (meaning, this night) I learned some new English words, and I got a political thing explained to me. (I know that I should replace "thing" with another word there, but no matter how many languages one is fluent in, there's still that feeling of not being able to remember a certain word. Some people have temporarily forgotten it in one language, I cannot remember it in either of three languages.)

Had a good laugh when my boyfriend used Google Translate and ended up with a sentence not making sense in Swedish, although I understood perfectly what his English sentence was.

My topic was meant to be about the value of good explaining.
Some people just answer "nevermind" when being asked what something means. I like when people actually makes the effort, or at least attempt, to give a good, comprehensible, explanation.
When my son was younger I always attempted to give him a good answer to every one of his questions. Some kids go on asking more questions instead of listening to the answer. He tried that a couple of times, but I told him that if he didn't want to listen to my answer, I wouldn't listen to his questions. I believe it's important to talk with kids, not just talk at them, and to explain things to them so that they learn, not just copy. It gives them a better vocabulary, and more intelligence. Some parents just talk at their children, and I'm a little uncomfortable with that if I know the parent.

My mom never explained properly when I was a kid. Her answer was "you wouldn't understand", or "you'll understand when you get older". So I went to my dad and asked instead.
I've given up trying to reson with my mom. She cannot argue for her cause. If we disagree, I can verbally out-manouvre her, but she cannot reply. I've tried so many times to discuss issues as adults, and I'm careful to not patronize her. After all, she's my mother!

Sometimes, people will give a tepid explaination. If I don't understand it, they tell me "nevermind". This always makes me wonder if they're estimating their own ability to explain comprehensively, or underestimating my ability to understand?


Celestial Seasonings makes my favorite teas. I found them at Publix and ended up having two or three cups per day. I bought a box to bring home with me, but really should've bought more.

Tea is an essential ingredient for getting to know me in-depth. If you can drink tea with me while talking for hours about life, the universe and everything, it could make a lasting friendship.

Me and an ex-partner used to sit all night drinking endless cups of tea, while discussing politics, the future, love, our past and everything. Several intelligent ideas were born on our tea-nights.
A woman I lived with for a year also used to sit with me having cup after cup at night. We discussed our children, our pasts, our fears, and shared mistakes and regrets.
Me and my best friend also drinks tea together a lot, we think about strategies for solving our problems, talk about lifes' oddities and more.

I think that if you cannot share a tea with me, just you and me and cups of tea, our friendship will not grow strong. I need to be with someone who can be entertained by just talking with me. Cuddling up in a couch, sharing a blanket or sitting by a kitchen table, doesn't matter, what matters is the presence. That I know you're there, and you know I'm there.

In day-time conversations can be had about a lot of things, but it's only at night people get really close.

About an hour after writing the above a friend of mine, who's broke at the moment, sent me a text message cheering over the fact that he found some tea, and how happy he is that tea is good against hunger. He said that when his money comes in, he will stock up on tea. And, yes, when you have no food, tea is very good. I'm thinking about looking into what substance that does it.

Why is depression a shame?

This page
inspired my blogentry. 10 cost-free tips to fight depression.

A lot of people are depressed. Some are for a limited time, some never get well. Yes, for some people depression is a chronic state, often with periods of feeling better and of feeling worse.

Depression often gets compared to having a broken bone. When you have a broken bone people can compare to their own experiences and sympathize, but when your soul is broken, a lot of people look down their noses at you.

For a person with depression, in most cases it's too hard to tell the truth. "Sorry I'm late, I had an anxiety attack last night and couldn't sleep", is not something you hear often. Instead people make something up, like traffic congestion or their wathces having stopped or other more or less plausible reasons.

I've never understood why I have to feel ashamed that I have a depression.
It's not like I've done something wrong, nor is it contagious. As opposed to most depressed people, I don't feel that I'm useless to the world, I do not think "the world would be better without me". I know that I'm valuable to other people, it's just that my life has no value to me personally.
Most days I'm fine, but then I get an over-whelming feeling of not being able to take it anymore.

Some people, when getting told that I am sick, ask if it's anything they can do to help.
Short answer:
- No, there isn't.
Long answer: Are you willing to take a phone call from me in the middle of the night, when I cry so much any words I speak are inaudible? Are you willing to come to my house to just keep me company for a smoke when I'm too paranoid to go out alone? Are you willing to call me each day to make sure I remember to eat?
I would never ask anyone to do those things. I have my best buddy, and he does all that for me, but most of the time I have to cope alone. And it's good for me to cope alone.

I flew in November. The first time I took a plane for nine years, and the first time alone. I thought I would be crying and panicking, I had anxiety-relief pills in my bag. But guess what? I was strong enough.
During the whole flight there, I didn't take any pills. Because my best friend had told me "you can do this", and I did. If he instead had said "I understand that this must be so hard for you, flying alone and all, going to unknown places", I would've freaked out. So yes, there is a way people can help, by simply stating that I can. Beware, though, for pushing a depressed person, you can accidentally make it so much worse.

How well do You think you know me? Did You know I have depression?

I am thinking about children.

Several things yesterday and tonight has me thinking about children.

I'm thinking about my friends that struggle, for very varying reasons, with their children. Especially the girl I chat with almost every night, I try to give her tips and support from afar. I worry about her, but she's strong. She's handling it. I hope that she feels that with me it's okay to not always know what to do.

Yesterday I brought a box of Barbies with accessories to my friend's, to give to her daughter. During my visit, my friend had a phone call from someone I don't know and I heard her say about me that I came over for socializing and brought Barbies for her daughter, since my son no longer plays with them. A pause, and then "yes, a son". To me it's so normal that I had forgotten that it's not normal for everybody.

Following various links I found myself reading an article that says that most injuries in small children happens in their own home, with the place not being secure enough.
I didn't have any safety measures in my home when my son was little, I never saw the need for anything else than to, for a period of time, stick a stick through the handles to the kitchen drawers so he couldn't open and hurt himself on something. Other than that, nothing. We just taught him that certain things are dangerous. He was a lively child, but still never gotten seriously injured.
Remember that before all these things (that are, for instance available at www.ikea.com , just type safety in the search box), door stops, corner bumpers and what-have-you got invented, kids still survived. What did your parents do? Build a safe place for you at home, or teach you that some things in the world are harmful?

A while ago I heard an aquaintance kids' nag him for something. At first he said no, then he said "go ask your mom for it". I can't remember my exact responce, but he then said "so what do you do when the kids nag?". My reply to that is, "no kid would nag me. If I say no, it is no."
This is an all to common thing, to give in to nagging. I never have.
A couple of years ago my son heard some girls complaining abour their food and nagging their mom. He asked me why the girls were acting up and I told him it's because they're spoiled. After that he looked at them in a whole different way, it was easy to see that he felt sorry for them. He knows that it's not good for a kid to be spoiled.

I am not claiming to be a perfect parent, but I have some principles and stick to them.

Kids in general like me. I'm not sure why, because I'm not the type of adult who builds Lego for hours or anything. I don't speak to them like people normally speak to small children. All I do is smile if I get eye contact. When I meet a new friend who has kids, I don't approach the kid at all, it's just the smiling. In time, the child will see that their parent likes me and we get along, thus I must be a good person.
I've read that when greeting a person with a child, always say hi to the child first. I'd say that's only if you've met the kid before and an ice-break moment has occured. The first time, just smile. When the kid says something to you (ice-break moment), respond, but before that don't say anything to the kid other than yes- or no-questions.
(I'd like comments on this, is it a good "recipie" or do you disagree?)

When you have small children, you have to plan ahead. Someone I believe did not plan at all, is "Octomom". If you don't understand who I mean, I congratulate you on missing the whole circus.

This is something absurd, a 11-yearold mom.
I'm sorry it's in Swedish, but basically the article tells about Kordeza who fell in love with a 19-year old and got pregnant, they married and had the kid. In Bulgaria 13-year old moms are common, but she's the first 11-year old in that city to give birth.
- Violeta is my daughter, and I have to grow up now, Kordeza says.

The importance of being well-dressed.

Yesterday I managed to make myself feel that I look good. I have a general low self esteem about my appearance, but yesterday was a good day.

Almost every item of garment that I own is hand-me-downs, been bought second hand, or has been given to me. With this I can be better dressed then most people.

I am not saying that I dress handsomely everyday. Right now I have blue fluffy socks, Adidas-pants and an old, worn, hoodie, but I'm at home and it's okay.

A friend of mine had a pair of new boots that were too big for her, so she gave them to me. Another friend wanted to throw away a pair of pants because it was a hole in the pocket, so I took them and mended it. Someone gave me a couple of years ago an old leather coat, it's a little small on me but I just don't close it, so it's fine.
This, and a nice sweater that I think I've bought second hand, is what I wore yesterday, with a shawl I once found in a puddle, and a hat (I wish there was a better translation for "mössa") that an aquaintance knitted for me.

The things I wear often comes with a story. The shawl I mentioned is a good example. I was at a conference in Höllviken, Skåne, and on a walk around the village I found it laying on the ground. It was nothing wrong with it, just that it was dirty and partially wet, so I took it with me and got it cleaned. Höllviken was also the home of a good friend of mine, so the shawl reminds me of the conference and of him.

How you dress impacts what other people think of you. I have many times done that experiment. Dressing a certain way can almost guarantee me to sit alone on an otherwise full bus, for instance. I remember a time when I had black Doc Marten boots, home-bleached jeans, and a jeanjacket with stains and burn marks. Also having a mohawk and being in an obvious bad mood of course added to the impression of me being a person better left alone. The seat next to me was empty, and three or four people were standing in the aisle of the bus.
Another time, still with the mohawk, but a studded and painted leather jacket, I noticed that I scared two old ladies on the street. They saw me, eyes widened, hands clutched tightly on their purses. So I did the only thing possible; I walked up to them, smilled, and asked very politely in a soft tone what the time was. One of them stammered an answer, I smiled again, thanked her very much, and walked away, laughing inside. After about twenty yards I curiously turned back, and they were still standing there, frozen, mouths agape.

After I've posted this, I'm on my way to the store. I'll be wearing the same boots and pants as yesterday, but with a Dolce&Gabbana sweater that an ex once gave to me because I looked better in it then him, and he was tired of it anyway. It's not even near being from this season, and too new to be vintage, but apart from it being a good sweater (and I do look good in it), the brand name is clearly visible and for people who only knows it's a fancy brand but knows nothing else about D&G (neither do I) it's impressive. I see the way they look at me wearing it, and it amuses me. Once in a while someone who knows about fashion and seasons will see me and frown, and that actually amuses me too.

It is important to think about how you dress. I'm not saying anyone should be obsessive about it, but try it. Before you leave home, think to yourself "what am I conveying about myself today?"

(For Swedish readers, this blog is somewhat inspired by http://omstil.blogg.se/category/dagens-kladsel.html and, in English readers http://frualeydis.livejournal.com/ . I have not yet figured out how to hyperlink.)

A new blog.

So this is my new blog. I think I'm going to fill it with random thoughts, just as most blogs. But what makes this one as unique is that it's mine, and I know how to spell.
This is not going to be a run-of-the-mill kind of blog, nor a very ranting one. I hope to entertain some people, and enlighten others.

For Swedish readers, I also have www.metrobloggen.se/asatankar , where I've written about my religion. I am an asatruar, and I'll let wikipedia explain it for me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asatru

No one can say about me that I'm just a regular person, but I don't let compliments go to my head.
I'm just me.

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