हमारी नफरतों के बीच एक माँ

एक अजीब से घिनौने समय में हम जी रहे हैं, जहाँ एक होड़ मची हुई है कि “तेरी वाली देशभक्ति, मेरी वाली देशभक्ति“ से कम कैसे. मुझे गुरमेहर की भी बात बचकानी लगती है और उसे जवाब देने वाले सो कॉल्ड देशभक्तों पर तो तरस आता है जो अपनी बात रखने के लिये पहले दलील देते हैं और जब दलील चुक जाती है तो रेप की धमकी देते हैं.

इस सारे तमाशे के बीच मैं कुछ समय पीछे जाती हूँ. वॉर हीरोज पर एक डाक्यूमेंट्री बना रही हूँ, प्रोफेसर एस.के नैयर से उनके घर पर मिलती हूँ. उनसे लम्बी बातचीत करती हूँ कैप्टन अनुज नैयर, महावीर चक्र के बारे में. ढेर सारे किस्से और तस्वीरें. 24 साल के बेटे को जंग में खो चुकी एक माँ बाहर निकलती हैं जो आधी मुस्कान के साथ मेरे नमस्ते का जवाब देती हैं. मुझे पहले ही प्रोफेसर नैयर बता चुके हैं कि अपने बेटे के शहादत के बाद उन्हें जितनी तकलीफों का सामना करना पड़ा, उसके बाद अनुज की माँ किसी से भी बात नहीं करती.

एक जोड़ी पथराई आँखें, वो आँखें आज भी मेरा पीछा करती हैं. जब आप ये देशभक्ति का नाच करते हैं तो मुझे सिर्फ Mrs नैयर की दो पथरायी आँखें दिखाई देती है. जंग में चली गोली से एक सैनिक शहीद होता है, और हमारी उदासीनता से एक परिवार ख़त्म हो जाता है. हम सिर्फ शोर मचाते हैं, आज देशभक्ति पर, कल सलमान की शादी पर और परसों किसी और मुद्दे पर. हमे सिर्फ कहना है, सुनना नहीं है. और जो हमारी बात नहीं सुनेगा उस पर हम चिल्लायेंगे, गाली देंगे, मारेंगे और रेप जैसा हथियार तो है ही, हर जगह काम आ ही जाता है.

जब ये नंगा नाच ख़त्म हो जाये और इस बात पर निर्णय हो जाये की कौन सही है और कौन गलत तो याद रखना कि कारगिल युद्ध ख़त्म होने के 18 साल बाद भी एक माँ को ना तुम्हारी fanatic देशभक्ति से कोई मतलब है और ना तुम्हारी ट्रिपल सेंचुरी से, उसे आज तक यही बात सालती है कि शहादत के दिन उसका बेटा बिना कुछ खाये ही जंग में चला गया.

सब कहते हैं कि तुम यहाँ नहीं हो

चलती हूँ एक अर्धनिद्रा में
टटोलती हूँ तुम्हारे चेहरे को
बनाती हूँ कुछ तुम जैसा
हवा में
और ढूँढती हूँ तुम्हें
उस चेहरे में
दिखता है तुम्हारा अक्स
तारों की तरह
दूर तक फैले
टिमटिमाते हुए
पर रोशनी नहीं
और जब कुहासा छाये
छिप जाते हैं
अंधेरे की चादर ओढ़े
उस अघड़ तस्वीर में
टाँक देती हूँ तुम्हारी वो
आधी मुस्कुराहट
जिसके पीछे दुबक के
बैठा होता है लाड़
मुझे इशारा करते हुये
चुप रहने का, कम हँसने का
तुम्हारी बेमतलब की झिड़की
सर्दी के धूप सरीखी
सुनहरी, मुलायम
इतराते हुए जो आँगन में आये
कुछ हड़बड़ी में
वापस जाने को परेशान
एक अकेली कुर्सी पर
जब एक अकेली चाय पीते
सुबह की अंगड़ाई में
देखती हूँ
उसी धूप के टुकड़े
को हर मौसम
बिल्कुल वैसा
तुम्हारा न होकर भी यहाँ होना
न चाहे उग आये बथुआ की तरह
फर्श पर बिखरे हुये
बाल्कनी पर पड़ी टूटी कुर्सी पर
बैंगनी रंग के फूलों वाली चादर पर
एक बड़े से कॉफी मग में
आईने के किनारे लगी लाल बिंदी में
हर कोने में तो छितरे पड़े हो
और सब कहते हैं कि तुम
यहाँ नहीं हो
I am writing this for the blogchatter prompt “Without You” in Hindi.

Dear Blog…………I love you

This valentine’s day we are taking our blog love to the next level with Blogchatter where i take on the baton of Blog Love from Deepali , read her at


So it’s valentine’s day round the corner and the world around is filled of love filled notes, cute little hearts and so much sweetness. I write this letter to my blog because i have loved it and it has loved me back with much more than i could ask for.

Dear Blog

You have grown up now, from a poorly structured “What a life to be”( Ah, those age of pen names), to turning into travel blogger to now a grown up ready to enter a college with now a self hosted blog. (Oh i talk like your mother already).

Dear Blog i started you at a point of betrayal in my life, my escape point was writing so i moved over from a diary to a blog. And i am so happy that i did it. You gave me my first writing award when it was long back that i had left my writing. You lifted me up in my moments of failures and disappointments. You were always there to listen to my rantings, you were always there to support. You gave me whatever little name i have got. You gave me amazing friends. You became viral and i connected to Paulo Coelho. You got me onboard National Geographic Channel, a tv serial….and the list is long.You gave Pooja Tripathi a name among this world wide web world.

Dear blog, you know what’s my favorite memory. I attended wedding of a friend in Bhopal and when my school friend (the bride) introduced me to her in laws family ( her brother in law ) she said “she is my friend Pooja. she is a doctor”, the brother in law screamed “Are you Pooja Tripathi?” I said yes……

“Oh mam, i am a huge fan of your writings, i love your blogs. “

He made me talk to his girlfriend on phone with a child like glee.

Thank you my blog for giving me my own story worthy moments.

I love you to moon and back. I really do.

Till death do us apart.


Wanderer Wordweaver Woman.

Passing on the baton to Tina, read her wonderful post on:


Is love only about making………………

She has big eyes where you are trapped

Among those brows that seem far apart

Those curls, those greys sneaking out of her

The way you gasp when you come close to her

Her insomniac walk when you look for her at 2 am

Strolling in Balcony humming tune of her favorite song

Her curves camouflage into a sun kissed beach

She smells of your cologne spilled on bedsheet

Her eyes are shut as they always are

Shutting away from a chaos, the mess that is us

Half burnt cigarettes and half-baked thoughts

An incomplete kiss that never connects the dots

Purple highlights falling on her empty back

A tattoo that breaths when you untie that strap

A tornado that engulfs you as a whole

She endured your aching mind, heart and soul

She waited for you to talk of those broken ifs

And make a phoenix out of carcass of unfinished dreams

You love her every night and goes on her waiting

Makes her wonder

Is love only about moaning and making.








Because there are deep men too


So my bestie Prashanth messages me on whatsapp that day (because we share a relationship of conversations, conversations on almost everything that happens around us, from politics to society) and he says “Isn’t it true for the deep men too”. I disagreed,i told him the society does not get the deep women but it thinks that it comes naturally to men and that day he wrote to me on deep men and their struggles. I could not agree more. This letter was so beautifully explained that i took permission for sharing it on blog. This is Prashanth Shrinivas for you and his views on Deep Men and their struggles.

Courtesy- cartoonus

Because there are Deep men too
Why not? There are men who are deep thinkers. There are men who don’t pleasure only in worldly joys and the general perception that is made of men around right. A famous ad tells ‘Men will be men’. May be!!! But aren’t we talking of the exceptions.
So the first acceptance is that there are deeper men… Not only strong men. (it is a wrong notion fundamentally to see men as strong and women as deep. Either is applicable…)

Why Deep Men Struggle for a Perfect Relationship?
A man who is a deep thinker and has his own perception and thinking of life and a belief system around… It is never easy for this man to find a woman to complement these and reciprocate. Again let me upfront in telling the expectation is not to cater to the man but to his thought process… Life becomes difficult for him and he has to make obvious compromises…
It is hard to find someone to fall in love with his concept of life and thought. He will have settle for something or anything or nothing. What if he doesn’t believe in casual dating or casual sex or anything casual? What if he doesn’t believe in short term relationships? Is it wrong or sinful on his part?

Some reasons
He is expected to be the macho always.
Why? Can’t he be normal? And being normal can he not be simple. Why can’t he be have deep thoughts and have different concept of life?

He can’t be blunt.
If he is, it is considered rude. He tagged impolite and absurd. His opinions need to match or say a yes to the other half. He speaks his mind and doesn’t give much importance to the general opinion. His answers can make people uncomfortable too. In the world where everyone likes to hear things short and nice, his answers and may seem unusual.

He is tagged God:
Very easily I will you… any of his act of good will and kindness will tagged Gandhian or Godly. He is left wondering what did I do except being right as the situation demanded. He can’t react as he wants but will be forced to conform to those ‘norms’ as I call them.
He has deeper conversations: A deep Man asks questions. He may not put the woman in a situation but may force her to think. Every time you two are together; he can digging deep into the questions about life and everything else which starts from first date itself.
He may never be superficial but someone who resides in deep ideas and memories, and the better half may find it foolish .

He Knows what exactly She Wants: But may not cater to immediately with a reason. May not take her out on shopping every time and may find much joy in long conversations and times with each other. He may refuse to be materialistic and that is fine na….
He may not tell it on face but can have his own perception or understanding of what how and when. He may see anything everything casual as meaningless…

When he Gets Intimate, it’s in extremes: He may not be fearless when he is in love but he will be madly in love. He likes to cross all the lines and but would think a 100 times… and tell oneself… The other one is a woman.

So hold on….
Fearlessness isn’t showing that love on a bed with the force he pushes himself …. It can also be that unconditional care… that unbound care… that unlimited attention… That unquestioned authority he is ready to offer and seek…
If this can seen as cowardice or risk aversion or lack of boldness… What should he do? But is he wrong to think what he thought…
Believe me… He would be hurt in the process… because he will called names; He may loose the person in the process and what worse than losing the person!!! Why shouldn’t he feel suicidal…..
For some reason, if this becomes a hindrance in their successful relationship will you still blame him?

He is fearless and profound: He is never afraid of speaking his mind or sharing his thoughts. But the problem of not being able to visualize a deep man but only a strong man or a macho man is the root of all problems…
His profoundness often scares people. His bluntness makes her intimidating and rough and often takes people away from him. One needs sheer passion, conviction and strength to handle this kind of energy and most around don’t think it is worth it.

He craves for a Deep relation: If he is a thinker and philosopher, then he will prefer having a deep relationship. He prefers a woman with whom he can share her deepest secrets, dreams and expects the same from her.
For him, love means that eternal joy along with opening mentally more than physically. He wants you to tell stories from your past and learn more about your best-kept secrets and fears. Hw ill promise that never will that past comeback as a ghost and promises to stand by.

It is difficult for him to Move On:
His love isn’t simple. He would have made his choice with lot of thought and thinking. For him a loss is losing a world. He may retire to staying single post a break up. We never know…. He will wait; He believe in the power of his love. He is strong and but vulnerable, and he can be on his own but with her thoughts and his dreams.

He looks deep into the eyes… Says I Love you… He means it all….
He has a lot to handle. But wants to go it step by step…. But Love for him is apart all conditionalities…He expects a supporting shoulder.
For he is a deeper person…

Leave a comment if you agree with my friend, if you also wondered are we overdoing this man vs woman issues.

Dear FM, You disappoint healthcare again

A DOTS centre in bihar, India

Continuing the decadal trend where public health suffers apathy on part of government both in terms of funding and focus, Healthcare which needed a big bang announcement owing to a very meagre improvement in our indicators, it again bears the brunt of favoring electoral politics upon developmental.Public funding of health sector remains at 1.2 percent of GDP, with Central government spending constituting a third of overall government funds.

Union Budget 2017-18 has relied again on National Health Mission stepping up allocation from Rs. 39,888 crores (revised estimate during 2016-17) to Rs. 48,880 crores, with a nominal rise of 23%.FM Arun Jaitley talks of an ambitious action plan to eliminate Kala-Azar and Filariasis by 2017, Leprosy by 2018, Measles by 2020 and even more ambitious target to eliminate Tuberculosis by 2025. They seem promising but let’s talk from the field. Are they even possible? With country fighting against Multi drug Resistant TB, Poor health infrastructure, Underfunding, bad implementation of Non communicable disease mission and diversion of funds, this plan seems nowhere in sight.

Let’s talk about Universal Health Coverage ,the minimum required resources for this socially relevant scheme should be 1.5-2% of GDP. There we are, already underfunded.With Demonetisation projected as a game changer to plug loopholes, increase fiscal accountability and strengthen the public finance, why does the health sector still has to face under-allocation.

The structural reform in Medical education is a welcome step but it should be associated with a strict monitoring and regulation over MCI witnessing the huge corruption MCI and DCI is involved in.The renaming of Health SubCentres into Wellness Centres continues the present government’s efforts to sell old wine in new bottle.From leakages to a collapsing health infrastructure, from skilled professionals to consumables availability, HSCs do not need a new name, they need a new approach.

Dear Finance Minister, from a person working and observing Public Health from close quarters, this budget is disappointing.We were hopeful that healthcare would be accorded a national priority sector status but it still looks a far fetched dream.