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A yard sign of messages. 
A yard sign of messages. 

There’s a strange phenomenon taking hold. A kind of emphasis which pushes kindness to the front of the line and honesty to the back of it.

I can see how this might happen as people struggle to find common ground as Americans. It reminds me of the Dr. Seuss children’s book about two imaginary lands whose belief over which side of a slice of bread is the right side to butter becomes an issue worth fighting for.

Whether you believe Dr. Seuss’s work published almost a hundred years ago should be stricken from the permanent record, judged by today’s view or his work should be allowed to remain as an historical text from which we can learn, the story of the Butter Wars illustrates how imposing one-sided decrees can create divides that lead to anything but peace.

The truth is that there will be all kinds of people you will meet in life. The question is, as Americans, is there room for differing views in our society?

Recently there was a difference of opinion over a political flag someone in our small New England town displayed in their yard. One profane word was used to express disapproval over President Biden’s policies both here and abroad. Some saw the language itself as offensive, worried their children would read such a word. Some were saddened, embarrassed, or outraged by the language and the message.

Because a person has a right to display signs, flags or banners on their own property and there is no ordinance prohibiting such displays, one resident, after voicing their own disapproval, ordered rainbow yard signs to give away as a way to counteract the flag’s message.

Now, to be fair, there are two sides, and more to every story. The question of honesty vs. kindness began to take hold. Right away I was interested because these stances and actions can teach our children some useful things, such as is it better to be honest or more important to be kind? Can dishonesty lead to a state that is unkind?

One person said they would post a sign as a celebration of humanity. Another said the signs were tacky. Another said to fly the American flag because that says it all. Yet another said they were divisive.

After reading the sign, here’s how I see it.

Celebrating humanity is a noble idea, and there’ll always be different views on how to do that. And sometimes the messenger is more noticed than the message itself.

When we are being honest, there is much to celebrate as far as humanity goes; births, beneficent accomplishments, and even death, after all, it’s a part of the human experience. As well, humans are also an ambitious, egotistical, vengeful, illogical, fearful, reactionary, scheming, jealous, and a lustful lot, just to scratch the surface of our darker side, otherwise we wouldn’t be human.

It could be seen as ironic that a simple sign intended to promote love and tolerance and inclusiveness and used to condemn speech on a flag actually furthers division.

Whether we agree, we can clearly understand the flag’s offensive and blunt, yet brutally honest, expression.

And what of the rainbow yard sign?

The first line, “We in this house believe:” assumes that there are others not in the house. We over here are not like those over there.

Then, the statement, Black Lives Matter. It sounds supportive, who would disagree with that? When we say we believe all lives should matter we might be viewed as insensitive or worse — as racists. But separating one group, suggests that another group has something the other does not. Like mattering. The intention that the state of mattering or having meaning must be given by one group to another, is dishonest.

Now, ‘Humans are not illegal,’ says humans are legal somehow, which is a strange way to look at humans. We are all born with inalienable rights. In the end, however, that line implies a country without order and a land without borders is just and humane. Is this true?

Then there’s, ‘Women’s Rights are Human Rights.’ Both men and women enjoy the protections of the Civil Rights Act and Voting Act, each passed almost 50 years ago. Let’s keep moving forward.

And the most curious or incurious of all, “Science is Real,” assumes that there is nothing unreal about it, a fact which couldn’t be further from the truth. How many times has the scientific method; asking questions, running clinical trials, disproving theories, discovering new ones, tallying the data when it finally comes in and processing it and understanding what it has to teach us, lead to a good condition for humanity?

And last but not least, “Kindness is Everything.” Kindness is a place to work from but it can’t be everything. I raised my kids to be kind, but to also be honest. Honesty is true kindness, we seem to have forgotten that, or become afraid of it, and now honesty has become a lost and scary word, too tough for our soft sensibilities. Kindness is a learned behavior, as many are, like civility, and we ought to use it honestly.

Which brings us to love, certainly worth mentioning twice as the statement declares, “Love is Love.” To be more specific, love is nurturing, humbling, forgiveness and healing. Love is joyful. Love is sacrifice.

Again, honesty should trump all.

If I were to have a sign on my lawn it might say: In our house we believe in communication, curiosity, hard work toward good goals, honesty, respect and relationships built on dignity, trust and love.

And these are universal things that all people want their kids to aspire to. I’ve never met a parent yet who would say otherwise. I think most people today are striving to do just that. And that is my celebration of humanity.

Bonnie J. Toomey’s stories, essays, and poems have been featured in Baystateparent Magazine, New Hampshire Parents Magazine, Baystate Echo, Penwood Review, and Solace in a Book. She writes about life in the 21st century and lives in New Hampshire with her husband. 

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