Earth Hour 2011: Learn to Love the Dark

Earth Hour 2010: Botanical Garden of Curitiba,...

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I’ve been training for this all year. Tomorrow, the pain, the torture, all of the stress will be worth it when my switch-flipping finger can properly save the world.

Tomorrow is Earth Hour.

For those who aren’t too sure what I’m talking about, read a newspaper every so often. I can’t be your source of all things informative. You need to learn some of this stuff yourself.

Earth Hour is an hour set aside by Australian environmentalists. The goal is to get the entire world to save energy for one hour by turning off those lights, televisions, radios, video games, computers, microwaves, rechargeable cordless drills, vacuum cleaners, waffle makers….

Wow, we use a lot of electricity. In fact, the average household uses upwards of 3,000 gigawatts of electricity every hour (approximation based on absolutely nothing). That is enough electricity to power entire continent of Africa forever (also based on nothing).

Maybe you’re like me. You would love to participate, using love in the loosest sense of the word, but you can’t quite figure out what you would do for an entire hour without electricity. What if you get an email? How can you cook that frozen dinner? How will you dry those socks that are sitting in the washing machine? There are countless activities you can do without electricity. For instance:

-Read by candlelight: This is how one of our greatest presidents ever learned to read. If it’s good enough for Abraham Lincoln, surely you could give it a go. Maybe it will inspire you to give your own Gettysburg address or buy your own stovepipe hat. Who knows?

Even doctors recommend reading by candlelight once a day to improve eyesight (not true, don’t do it).

-Play board games by candlelight: You know what’s more fun than Candyland? Candyland by candlelight! By playing board games in the dark, you and your friends are truly able to experience the games the way they were meant to be played. Plus, it makes it a thousand times easier to cheat, and that’s what board games are really all about.

-Sneak up behind people and scare them: It’s dark! Sneak up behind some people and scare them!

-Contemplate your life’s mistakes: There is no better setting for thinking about everything you’ve ever done wrong in life than in a dark room, and with no electricity, you can’t turn on the TV to escape from the sinking ship that is your life. Plus, the darkness makes it harder for people to see you cry.

Don’t those ideas sound like fun? Now there’s no reason not to participate.

Organizers of the event are encouraging participants to go beyond the hour. So, why not turn off your lights for days. Maybe even a month wouldn’t kill you. Heck, call the electricity company now, while you still have power to recharge your cell phone, and cancel your power. You don’t need it. They survived centuries without electricity. Of course, the average life expectancy was 35, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.

So don’t forget. Tomorrow at 8:30 p.m., turn off anything you own that uses electricity. Even if it’s a medical device that is drastically needed, you can live without it for an hour.

Oh, you can’t? That machine is actually keeping you alive? Hmm. That may be a problem. Is there a way to keep it going with double a’s?

I hope you enjoyed reading this blog, unless you’re reading it during Earth Hour.

If you are, shame on you, sir. You are killing the world.

4 thoughts on “Earth Hour 2011: Learn to Love the Dark

  1. Another great post. I loved the idea of sneaking up behind someone and scaring them! Here’s one more you: take a nap. I know I’m always looking for an excuse to take a nap. What better excuse than this? Now my wife can’t bug me to wash the dishes or vacuum the rug. Ahhh…a nice hour long nap, sounds wonderful.


  2. hey, candles are dangerous. Well, they are for me. All the candle wax that melts into a puddle around the wick, and you go to blow out the wick and blow all the hot, melted wax everywhere..on the wall, on the table, and OUCH on you! Nice. I tend to shy away from that. How ’bout the flash light…OOOOH play w/shadows on the wall and make shadows with your hands. There you go, now that’s a fun Friday evening festivity.



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