Tuesday, February 24, 2009

In an effort to make things very clear

I have been thinking about this documentary on dwarfism I saw years ago.

With all my frets, dwarfism has not been among them. But it popped into my mind the first time someone asked if we're going to find out the gender and what I am hoping for.

I know you're supposed to be all, "Either, as long as it's healthy."

So this is what I go ahead and say, even though for me, it's a lie. I mean, yes, healthy is absolutely the most important. And you kind of don't want to admit you're hoping beyond that, in case it's not.

And at this point, we'll get health results and gender all at once. And really, with the things they're looking for, the gender information is the least critical piece.

So in the documentary, the focus of one storyline was on this couple who both had the same kind of dwarfism. The wife was pregnant, and because of their genetic makeup, there were a number of outcomes for the baby.

According to doctors, there was a 50% chance that it would have their kind of dwarfism. There was a 25% chance that the baby would be a regular-sized person. And there was a 25% chance that the genes would match up in a bad way and the fetus would die.

They were hoping for dwarfism.

I get very invested in stories like this. I was really rooting for them.

My then-boyfriend came over at the tail end of the documentary. So I tried to give him the full picture - the chance that their baby would die, the worry that it wouldn't be like them, the. . .

Being a data person, he wasn't into in the human interest details. "Yes, yes, fine. Anyway. What kind of baby did they have?"

I had to think about how to phrase it so that he'd understand the variables.

"A not-dead-dwarf baby."


  1. One would imagine that a Nick-sized father would go a long way towards dispelling concerns about dwarfism in this case.

    /sends happy thoughts and hopes for a healthy-and-just-like-gender-specific-pronoun-of-your-choice-parents baby.

    I think you did a better job of making it very clear.

  2. I wonder why you and Data Man never worked out. He sounds dreamy.

    I don't know if I could love my child were it born unattractive. I'd like to think that I could, but I'm really very shallow.

    I'm probably kidding.

  3. when my BF was pregnant with her last baby they told her "okay we don't want to worry you but given the measurements we're concerned. is there any dwarfism in your family?"
    and she laughed and explained to them that her husband is just short... maybe this is funnier if you know him.

    okay, bad comment, not funny to strangers. i'm taking note.

    and c'mon... you're hoping for a girl, right? i know i would be... a healthy girl of course : )

  4. Dagny - Yah. With the Nick people, this didn't even make my list. And I appreciate it. That's exactly the kind of thoughts and hopes I need!

    FreckledK - Ah, I loved him though. I really, really did. And men with really math-y brains, they totally make me swoon. I am not even kidding.

    And apparently every partent thinks their kid is attractive. I don't really buy it, but I guess I'll find out.

    notsojenny - I absolutely see the humor in it. Even though I'm a stranger. And yah, I would love it if it were a girl...Not that I won't love it if it's a boy, of course.

  5. I am looking forward to knowing whether you're having a boy or a girl like I look forward to girl scout cookies every year. And I really, really look forward to those. May you have a non-coconut and chocolate covered baby! Or, maybe that would be awesome!

  6. I made a joke like this to my brother when his wife was preggers with twins. Something along the lines of "Considering you're 6'1" and she's 6'3" wouldn't it be funny..."

    He disagreed. My niece and nephew are going to be tall. Saw them this weekend and they're looking more and more (especially my niece) like mom and dad every single day.

  7. I really need to start watching more documentaries. The Little Lemon will be healthy and cute, I just know it.

  8. i love it when you say things like "a not-dead-dwarf baby"!!. . . say, if haven't already, you need to read an article that was in the post several years ago . . . it was about a deaf lesbian couple who wanted to do all they could to ASSURE that their in-vitro baby would also be deaf. The citation info is below this link to a discussion of the article:


    A World of Their Own
    In the eyes of his parents, if Gauvin Hughes McCullough turns out to be deaf, that will be just perfect

    By Liza Mundy
    Sunday, March 31, 2002; Page W22

  9. I am keeping my fingers crossed for a not-dwarf-rabies-free baby (for you. just to clarify.)

  10. I can understand your wanting a specific gender, it's just not PC to express a preference. And I think every new parent thinks their baby is the most beautiful thing ever, although I think your friends with the "45 year old accountant" are probably more accurate.

  11. Oh, see, interesting. As my cousin is a very active little boy I really only can imagine having a son.

  12. "A not-dead-dwarf baby." That's fantastic. So fantastic. I love your blog. I either identify with your posts, learn something from your posts, or find something quite funny. Hurray.

    Here's to hoping that you get a healthy-happy--thatgender baby.

  13. All babies are gorgeous. Unless they're on Seinfeld. (You gawta see da BAAAY-bee!)

    I'm lying- I think they all look like prunes. Prunes that poop. But YOURS will be special!

  14. i'm theoretically too new of a reader to make wild observations, but i'm guessing you're having the amnio for less than lighthearted reasons. so here's to a healthy normal, not dwarf baby!

  15. moosie - Oooh! I would choose a Thin Mint covered baby, if that were the case! Or the peanut butter kind. Yum.

    FoggyDew - I like the joke, but I can see how some parents wouldn't. Man, those are going to be some big kids.

    HKW - I do, too. I've been watching too much reality TV. And I hope so, I really do!

    LJ - I knew a few deaf people when I was in Peace Corps, and the one who was a child of deaf parents, who was raised in deaf culture, couldn't imagine not having a kid who was deaf. I will be so interested to read this article.

    Hillary - HA! Rabies! I suppose I should ask if they can definitely rule that out at this point.

    J - No, not PC. And I know myself. I just don't think I'm going to be duped if we have an ugly one.

    Lemmonex - Yah. We call come at it from such different directions.

    Early Bird - Thank you for saying that! That really makes me feel good! And thanks - here's hoping.

    LiLu - Of course it will, because it will be my little prune that poops. That I'll be trying to pawn off on others. Wanna learn how to change a diaper, young lady?

    Ella - Yah. Mostly for age, some for stuff in my family. Thank you for the good wishes!

  16. My baby's cute, BUT I always try to be humble and say "some of the most attractive people I know were really ugly babies" because they WERE- it's crazy- my cousin Pam who looks like Daryl Hannah was a totally goofy looking baby, and my tall dark and beautiful friend Carey? UG-LY baby. Her mom says she was even uglier than the pictures show:)

  17. Glad it worked out for them. Dwarfs and midgets scare me (and yes, my friends have all explained the differences between the two to me). And clowns. Clown midgets especially...

    That's off topic isn't it?

  18. Genetically, I would have liked one who didn't have stink bottom, picky-eateritis or don't see that dirtism.

    But I guess I'm just glad they're healthy.


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