the flushed cheek the quivering lip and the tremulous and hesitating manner in which he staked his fast diminishing roll of unions and commercials belied the reckless air of unconcern which he vainly studied to assume and exposed to the penetration of the less in terested bystander the intense bitterness of the emotions he would have concealed


throwing down as a final stake the remaining contents of his book consisting of five one pound notes which were instantly covered by others to a similar amount from the amplyfilled pocket treasury of his right hand neighbour vernon the colour forsaking his countenance and leaving it of an ashy paleness beheld them momentarily swept away then slowly rising with a bewil dered air and unsteady gait he retired from the table and approached the fireplace where the landlady was sitting


she was engaged in a lively teteatete with a fashionably attired young man who playing with the massive gold dropchain which hung from his parisianfashioned vest was exerting himself to appear to the highest advan tage in the eyes of the handsome brunette


a thousand pardons fair lady said vernon as with a sickly attempt at a smile he proffered his still trembling hand i was not aware of your presence until this moment


mr vernons memory i am afraid is habi tually treacherous returned the lady with a glance of much meaning or and she dropped her voice to a whisper which failed either to reach the ears or attract the notice of the third of the party he might have recollected that my presence here at all this evening was at his express solicitation


true dearest rejoined vernon in the same low tone nor can i hope for your forgiveness even when you shall have heard all i have to urge in my defence


by an act of folly the most insane i have irrecoverably sacrificed the means which i had intended to devote to the accom plishment of plans so fondly cherished by at least one of us


annie i am ruined


how exclaimed the lady in a tone which from its shrillness and impetuosity distracted even the attention of the devotees of the dice from the gamingtable how mr vernondo you speak lower for gds sake whispered her companion i will explain alleverything have but patience


say when can i see you tonight or a smile of supreme scorn curled the beautiful lip of the lady as her flashing eyes fell directly upon those of the speaker which shrunk as though cowering and shamestricken from the scrutiny


to night oragain ventured vernon


never sir interrupted the fair one ne ver


and although wrong in the conjecture that i shall withhold from you my forgiveness yet believe me that i shall not so readily par


don myself for my gross credulity in giving ear to professions and do you thus condemn me unheard


be it so


i have neither heart nor spirit to combat your resolve


annie from your hand is the cup of my bitter destiny filled to overflowing


vernon turned away he cast a hurried glance at the table the persons congregated around which were evidently preparing to close the play for the evening and rushed from the room and from the house


happy thrice happy had it been for vernon had this rupture with the frail though attractive object of a lawless passion been a permanent one


by nature ardent and generous and of disposition open and unsuspecting he had fallen into the meshes of an entanglement spread by one of the most heartless and calculating of her sex and had risked his all to attain the purchaseable af fections of the beautiful annie


not even the consideration of a purer and allhallowed affec tion which amidst all his folly was cherished in the deeper and holier recesses of his bosom could avail in turning him from the fatal pursuit of fancied happiness embodied in the fascinating person of a soulless and selfish coquette


such are the strange inconsistencies of mans nature


such the deadsea fruits of the mysterious and unfathomable undercurrents of tho human heart


of a disposition scarcely less susceptible and confiding than that of her lover mrs turner the object of vernons misplaced attachment had irretrievably wrecked her originally respec table position in life by an early and improvident marriage


her husband a man of the genus expressively denominated blackleg had from the earliest period of their union unremittingly studied to pervert the innate purity of the deli cate and inexperienced girl whom he had clandestinely snared from the nursery to bat tle with the stern realities of wedded life


long had she wrestled with the tempter but he heedless alike of aught save that which con tributed to the gratification of the most depraved of selfish appetitesthe lust of lucreremorse lessly pandered to his own dishonour and the mind of the once gentle annie effectually cor rupted the decline from virtue was a descent at once easy and rapid


the fair and artless girl had degenerated into the designing and merce nary woman


her selfrespect once lost the opinion of the world was henceforth to her a byeword and a jest


is this a solitary portrait in lifes densely peopled picture


we fear not


higherstill higher lift we the veil


lungs brass esq it


p st f js


chapter v


tue nomination is recorded in this chapter


it is writton in the usual racy style but for the sake of abbreviation we pass on to the eleotion


it will be seen that only two candidates came to the poll


chapter vi


after a slcepletb and anxious night to the candidates and their immediate friends the morning at once feared and hoped for arrived


suspense would now be ended if victory were not achieved


exactly as the clock struck eight the polling booths were thrpyn open and tho work began


it was fierce andj bardi from the first both sides were in earnest


thexush was tremendous each party being anxious to take the lead and keen it through the day


it waa not to be done so easily


for kout a the struggle was of the most desperate nature


victory seemed to tremble in the balauce or with the capricious temper of foi tune we may say coquetted first with one tide and than tha other as it appeared by the returns made from time to time that now the tories and then the radicate wera leading by a small majority which could not be maintained


both however were hopeful


both had their peculiar tactics to carry out their own game to play


the tory idea was that after pressing their enemy up to the middle of the day they would when he was exhausted open the pursettrings a little wider and go in ana win with the reserve of old freemen who they anticipated would at that hour and under such influences be ready to turn the day in their favour


the radical policy wat to counteract this design


as w have already hinted they had men cunning of pence on their committee who knew every electioneering trick and dodge just as well at the tories did


their plan waa also to have a strong body of reserve consisting of householders firm independent and true men staunch to the backbone


but farther to weaken the reserve of the tories at much as possible they directed their canvassers who were freely supplied with the sinews of war to carry off and poll as many of the old freemen as could be tempted during the early part of the day


this wat soon reported at the head quarters of the tories who seeing thier reserve thus diminished were obliged ibb they should loso it altogether to change their system and get up every man to vote before the crimps from the opposite camp could decoy him away


still they could not lead


the radical twarmod to the poll in equal number


cool spectatorsthere were very few of them in gullnoodle that daywera astonished lu the morning the betting confraternity were offering fifty to one against brass but there were no taken


at tea the odds had fallen to twenty to one against him


at halfput eleven they were still farther reduced to ten to one


dut till nobody thought that he oomld win


the freemen were the grecian pha lanx or the old guard who were at the last moment to give the victory to the tories


their numbers were supposa ta be inexhaustible ni their faith


and i allegiance pot to be ahaken


but half past twelve arrived and the runwat at elote never


thecal culator were surprised bayoud mtamn


the odds against brass fell to five to nne and bookmakers began to hodge and take thom


the result now glow every moment more and more doubtful and un certain


mens countenances were closely soanned to see if wo could read in them what tboir tongues refused to tell


the brassitcs were more and more confident as they carne swarming and cheering to the hustings to vote for their man


tho terieb on the other hand looked first eager and then anxious and haggard about one oclock some of their best mon hurried up to vote


this was regarded as omi nous and suspicious


hope bogan rather to droop with their backers


the boldest among them would not now offer moro than two to one against tho radi cal and hardly that


for a moment at this period of the day there was a lull but almost immediately the war that for a space did fail now tiebly thundenng swolld the gale


roth sides seemed to have paused to tako breath as it were and then rushed baok to their work with renewed vigour


the thing now went on fast mid furious


but there wcro symptoms not to be mis taken by the eye of the keen and closo observer


giub the banker and several other of the big dog on castlereagh sidmouths couimitteo carno up to record their votes


it was said to be sure that they had business in another part of the town and wanted to record their names that they might start to it without being tied by time


those who said this looked as if they did not believe it while those who heard it only winked at each other with a knowing look


we had witnessed one or two elections before that day and had listened to the sams explanation once or twice before


it was now two oclock and all was doubt and suspense with the betting men who had been freely backing some of them their hopes and wishes and others their calculations all morning when dick pickle a rich young radical came galloping up to the point whare they stood waving his bat as with a mocking smile ho exclaimed


now gentlemen make your game whos for a fifty pound bet oven against my man


whatl no body tyke it


five ten pound notes to four than that brass wins


or three to two to encourage you that you may not die soft


the very audacjty of the offer so


took the breath out of his hearers that they could not answer him


at last be was taken by a man who had offered fifty to one against brass at starting and who now had a hundred pounds against forty bat in hi favour


so capricious is for tune


it was soon evident that pickle was on the safe sids


the odds against the tory increased until they became california against a bad farthing or all the world to nothing as the reserve of radical householders poured forth to the hustings while it was found that the boasted reserve of tho old freemen in the other camp had been bought up or used up ia the opening hours of the poll


it was hard to believe but it was soon useless to deny that the tories were dead beaten


the radical majority went on increasing until as the clock struck four and proclaimed that the game was played out their ringing and triumphant cheers announced that they had won the day and that lungs brass esq might now write mp after his name a the represen tative of the ancient and important borough of gullnoodle


it may not be denied that one main cause of this unexpected victory was that just at that particular time extreme radicalism or cliai tism was strong and rampant in gullnoodle and the neighbourhood and gave the whole of its votes and influence to brass


but that our hro may not lose cast with tho lofty and the fashionable and the elegant and the aristocratic on account of such untoward patronage let us attempt to define what radicalism or chartism is in england


and we enter upon the task more willingly because we hopetheieby to carry comfoitto many anxious firesides and to enable many timid eld ladies and nervous old gentlemen to lay their heads on their pillows in peace and without any fear that the wolf may burst into the fold and devour them before morning


as there are said to be legal so tbeie certainly are political fictions and this terrible ism is one of them


but it is after all a word not a thing a theory not a fact a feeling not a prin ciple


it comes and goes like the shadows of night or the dew of the moi ning


when work is scarce and provisions are dear the masson aro hungry and of coarse discontented


they become noisy and call out for some change which shall give them food and clothing


this is called radicalism or chartism


but it is tho old thing over again vox et prottrea nihil


children by an impulso of nature cry out when hungry and men being only childi en of a larger growth do the same thing


satisfy the cravings of appetite and they will both be quiet


radicalism then is neither moro nor less than the popular expression of the state of the popular sto j mach


the man who keeps the happy family of dis cordant animals in a cage tolls you that his policy for maintaining peace among them is a very simple one


i feeds them well is his graphic but not grammatical explanation of the whole matter


wo recollect moieover onco walking on the quay side of a certain great seaport town with an irish gentleman when a cargo of pigs were being landed from a steamer which had just arrived


the squeaking of the animals was dreadful under the pinch of the ropo as they were hoisted through the air but the momenttheir feet touched the ground and they felt at their ease they wen as happy and quiet again as possible


look at your englishman said our friend pointing to a gigantic representative of the land of ham which after being particularly noisy became particularly calm when it found it had saved its bacon


seeing my astonished countenance he continued i of course mean only in a pickwickian or political sense but in that meaning how true i make your englishman un comfortable and wretched as that pig was when dangling through the air in the gripe of the rope and he will be just as noisy and clamorous


but only withdraw the pressure and let him get on his feet again and he will forthwith forget all hi grievances and sorrows in the enjoyment of the immediate relief attained


we could not deny the facture


tt brings down the definition ofonftpbaae pf english politics nevertheless it cbimeb in with our previously formed lid mm on the subject


what then is the sum total


werit bctlvuvinthb tphtrx that sets riddlesrd sdipus


wo do hot believe in ths sibylwho ijold iks totarquin


w do notbelieve in sinbad libe sailor


we doaot j believein


qulli vartravel


neither do we believe in radicalism or chartism a an actual and real thing breathing fire and fury and anarchy and revolution


wo rather look upon it as a very manageable and intelligible monster


the barking of that famous old dog of antiquity cerberus and his three mouth wen topped at once by a respectable sop being thrown to him


and it is the same now


the most radical ceiberu of today only barks because he has as many months or more de pending upon him at home


try the sop again


food and clothing are mighty peacemaken and healers of discontent


never forget the howman receipt s i pasr thm wau


to be continued


a new series


the mysteries of sydney or the revelations of sin shame and sorrow


chapter i the new arrivals


it was on the eve of the st of january that a merchant vessel entered the harbour of sydney


she sailed from england about four months previously and encountered many storms and dangers on her passage but the gallant barque bore herself nobly through numerous perils and was approaching a haven of rest


and what a change for her living freight


the howl of the tempest the inky blackness of the skies crimsoned for a moment with flashes of vivid lightning which served only to render the intense gloom more profound the billowy mountains rushing like huge monsters with open jaws after their flying prey were no longer heard or seen


a light haze hung lazily in the air and thickened in the distant horizon softening and mellowing the intenser light of the sun which in turn imparted to the sky and the atmosphere its gorgeous hues of orange and gold


the winds sang softly through the cordage and gently propelled the vessel through calm clear waters in whose transparent mirror might be seen the images of all which floated upon its polished surface


that harbour seemed indeed the entrance to an edenbut alas


how often in this world does the varnished hue of deception assume the colour of truth and the sunlight of today usher in the storms of tomorrow


such thoughts did not arise in the minds of the pas sengers who delighted at the termination of their voyage were engaged in contemplating the beautiful prospect around them


we will leave them to feast their eyes upon the scene and in the meantime introduce our readers to three of these personages who are the principal actors in this serious drama of sin shame and sor row


hawk kitely esq claims precedence


he was originally plain kitely as he made his way in the world and assumed the manners and appearance of an honest tradesman mr was attached to his name to give it an air of respect ability but when increasing wealth enabled him to cut the shop and become a gentleman at large the sober mr gave place to the more aristocratic esq


arriving in new south wales at an early period of his life with no greater character for morality or honesty than the two hundred and ninetynine of his ship mates whose only book was the calendar of crime in which their unholy lives stood recorded stamped as it were with the burning brand of guilt kitely had shewn an eellike capacity of wriggling through the multifarious dangers envi


roning a felon life and while hundreds were perishing amidst the shoals and quicksands he rode triumphantly to shore


it was not that he had reformed or saw the error of his ways far from ithe had only learned to weigh the enjoy ment of his cravings against the penalty of their indulgence


he found the odds against him the pear was not ripe he therefore bribed his time and watched for the advent of the hour when the tempting and luscious fruit could be devoured in security


consummate hypocrisy enabled him to throw a veil over his pernicious desires while a strong mind gave him the power to control the fiercest passions


kitely after many years of abstinence was rewarded he placed one foot on the pavement of society and soon took a firm stand there


he could still afford to wait his position was not beyond a slip he strove to improve it


he went to church regularlyafforded his children the means of educationcontributed towards chari ties and did everything that the worlds good man does in the fallacious hope of winning a way to heaven


kitely was a perfect model of showthe alabaster vase wanting the light withinthe dead sea apple beautiful to the eye but ashes to the taste


at length the sum mit of his ambition was reached and the prize for which he had so laboriously and persever ingly toiled was his


the pear was ripe and he determined to enjoy it


but not in the colony no the field was too small besides it did not suit him to throw off the mask too sud denly


to will and to act were synonymous with him he returned rich in the worlds wealth to those shores which twenty years before had sent him forth a disgraced degraded penniless youth and there he had his full fling


the torrent of vice dammed up so long burst forth with irre sistible fury and cleared away every impediment opposed to its mad course


for a time his desires grew with the food they fed upon but at length gorged like the boa constrictor satiety came and he returned to sydney to renovate his enfeebled pulses and acquire fresh vigour to pursue a similar career of sensuality and vice


so much for this man whose subsequent acts will be detailed in the course of this tale


turn we from this dark side of human nature to a brighter picture


standing together on the poop of the vessel were two beings whose simi larity of features bespoke them to be brother and sister


the elder frank earle scarcely seemed to have passed his nonage and the girl had only reached her eighteenth summer


both coun tenances were of a high order of beauty but their expression was different


the sparkling eye and evervarying cheek of the male as the many novel objects met his gaze denoted one of those romantic and susceptible minds which wanting a strong corrective power is so often fatal to its possessor


the light which beamed in the sisters eye was pure and holy and on her face rested a slight shade which betokened early sorrow and chastened resignation but this imparted an additional charm to her features which were typical of the sweetness of her dis position


the two were alone in the world they had mourned side by side over their buried parents who vainly strove to bear up against a series of misfortunes which led them from afflu ence to penury and left their only offspring homeless


these indeed were indebted to the kindness of a mere acquaintance for the means of endeavouring to redeem their fallen fortunes in a new world


enough for the presenttime will develope their career


how enchanting is this scene exclaimed frank as his gaze took in the picturesque pano rama


surely fanny this golden skythis sparkling water and balmy air are offering a welcome to us wanderers from a far land whence we have been so coldly rejected


and yet frank replied the fair girl half reprovingly it is the land of our birthit is the grave of our parents


that sad thought should render it dearer and make us cling more closely to its memory


theres such a charm in melancholy i would not if i could he gay this is ever your theme fanny but spare me a lecture tonight and do not attempt to convert my passing expressions of admiration into cal lousness of disposition or forgetfulness of the past


but we have to look forward to battle against fate heaven knows ours has been a chequered one a glorious field now lies before us where to strive for victory is to win it


well spoken sir said kitely who had listened unobservedly to the brief conversation


you are formed of the proper material to make your way in this country


rid yourself of vain regret it is useless lumber which will only im pede your march in these golden realms


india sir so much vaunted of with its yellow nabobs pagodas and rupees is nothing to this land of promise


we here make short cuts to fortune none of your dull plodding wearing tearing life wasting roundabout roads hereall straight forward smoothand pleasant


start fairly and ill guarantee you the revenue of a prince not a german onethat class is as poor as it is plen tifulbut a real potentate a genuine prince


but sir remarked fanny who invariably felt an indefineable thrill a shudder for which she could scarcely account at the presence of kitely my brothers position in life forbids the indulgence of such vain aspirations


the lesson of humility taught him in the bitter school of adversity is not likely to lead him into the pursuit of delusive phantoms


you forget sir that my brotherthat both of usare poor and friendless


friendless


when hawk kitely is in exis tence standing by your side


no no my dear young lady you know little of the indi vidual who has the honor of addressing you to suppose he could allow such a word to be used in his presence


hawk kitely holds his wealth as steward of the poor his is not the sordid soul which gloats over treasures and finds pleasure in accumulation


dissemination young lady dissemination is his sole delight


ask and you shall have is his motto


i thank you for the offer remarked frank coolly but my motto isself dependence


having uttered these words he drew his sis lers arm within his own and retired with her into the cabin


kitely followed them with his eye as long as they were visible an ironic smile stole over his face as be muttered poor and proud young and ardent


a good basis to work upon


she is beautifulvery even her coldness adds to her charms and increases the flame of desire


strange paradox


but so it is


i am not easily balked but caution is the word


slowly stealthily i must creep upon her silently weave strong meshes around her and then the current of his thoughts was interrupted by the arrival of a new comer who rushed up the side of the vessel on to the deck with that agility and confidence which can only be attain ed by long practice


he bustled up to kitely touched his hat and immediately commenced his enquiries


captain of the ship i presume sir no sir only a passenger


ah indeed


welcome to the country trust you had a good run pleasant voyage and all that kind of thing sir


allow me to intro duce myself my name is knowall tom know all at your service shipping reporter to the dullanddozy journal the paper i may say the only paper of the colony


oblige me by per using a copy of this mornings issue


full of news sir two murders six suicides fourteen sudden deaths twentyfour highway robberies with violence with violence sir be pleased to mark that it adds to the attraction


together with a full true and particular account of the great ton nugget discovered by the three misses whatstheirnames formerly washerwomen at whatsitsname creek


may i venture to ask if you have such a thing about you as the latest the very latest english paper


i believe mr knowall replied kitely i have a late times and a dispatch thank you the very things may i trouble you for them instanter


despatch is the order of the times


do you take sir


of course you do


they are in my trunk and trunk sir a capital thing as the ele phant said when he picked up a diamond pin and stowed it away


i cannot accommodate you till tomorrow mr knowall


tomorrow


never leave that till to morrow which you can do to day excellent motto sir as jack ketch observed to the man who wished to postpone his turning off


to morrow sir


what would the world say if the dullanddozy allowed the fireandbrimstone paper to forestal it


allow me to move as an amend ment that the word now be inserted instead of tomorrow


capital motionant it


it is impossible


my dear sir impossible is the adjective of i beg your pardon fools


no offence napoleon said it a great authority in such casesmay i venture to hope


i cannot promise


thank you sir all the same


must see the captain cant afford to waste time fireand brimstone is close at my heels warm work now great opposition sharps the word


sorry to cut you but i must business is business ta ta if you should alter you mind dont forget the dullanddozy interest


the indefatigable and assiduous shipping reporter hurried to the cuddy which he was about to enter when his attention was arrested by the soft and expressive voice of fanny


she was warbling a simple melody but the exquisite pathos and feeling of the singer threw a charm around it far more touching than the dazzling capriccios of art


i dreamt there was a land more fair with skies of deeper blue with gentler winds and balmier air and flowers of richer hue and brighter streamlets by whose side my peaceful steps might roam


but ah my heart in sadness cried tis not my childhoods home


i dreamt that voices soft and low were murmuring in mine ear


sweet sister banish hence thy woe and check the rising tear that white winged spirits floated by all pure from heavens dome the vision fled i woke to sigh for my lost childhoods home


knowall waited till the conclusion of the ballad in silence fearful least his sudden entrance might interrupt the lady but the iast chords had scarcely died away when he opened the door and presented himself to the astonished gaze of the startled pair


frank rose from his seat hastily and seemed to entertain certain belligerent intentions towards the in truder which were unperceived by fanny whose eyes were cast in deep confusion towards the ground


bravo bravissimo cried knowall no thing abashed by the appearance of a gathering storm


quite a prima donna beautiful melody sweet thoughts but dangerous to in dulge in as the fly said when he slipped into the treacle pot


hope no intrusion


that is a mistaken hope replied frank warmly and i have to leran by what right you claim the liberty of disturbing our privacy


the liberty of the pressthe birthright of britons


glorious thing


poke my nose in anywhere as the bayonet said to the button hole


captain rattlin i presume


no sir rejoined frank more mildly his irritation gradually giving way before the imper turbable nonchalance of the visitor


i am but a passenger and my nameof course you would like to ascertain it


unquestionably i cant do without it list of passengers must appear in the dullanddozy journal


im shipping reporter


you didnt know that


i had not the distinguished honour previ ously said frank laughingly and in return for such marked kindness allow me to present you to frank earle and his sister fanny


earle earle thought sonatures true nobility


i could have swore you were an earl or a countor a king


lt ought to have been king your sister is such a queen of beauty


you havent such things as late english papers about you


several to which you are heartily wel come replied frank at the same time handing a goodly roll of literary matter to the news collector


my dear mr earle you are the prince of good fellows


command my services


ill show you the way to carve out a fortune as the vaux hall waiter said when he was slicing an acre of ham for sandwiches


want to speculate eh


head the advertisements in the dullanddozy of today


there you are sir


australia bri tannico every hemisphere grand quartz smashing company


capitaltwenty millions


sharesone shillingto give everybody a chance


enginesone hundred thousand horse power


warranted to produce one hundred weight of pure gold per minute


down with your dust sirit makes the ways pleasant as the watercart said to the streets


theres no spe culation in your eye i see


try another tack wanted by an elderly lady of large fortune a gentleman of agreeable manners to enter the state of connubial bliss


property no conse quence


no objection to moustaches


the old lady can put up with your hairs you see capital spec


you shake your head


it dont fit as the highlandman said to his small clothes


heres another wanted a private secretary to assist a member of council


when the labors of the day are concluded he will be required to help the servants at table


hang it that wont do


secretary eh


more like a dumb waiter


but i must bid you good night busi ness is business and i am compelled to hurry home


knowall bustled off with his valuable cargo little conscious of the electric chain which he had touched by the mention of that single word


home


magical sound


with what myriad tendrils dost thou clasp mans heart


the pursuit of glory and of wealth may close the bosom for a time but thy power like the rod of the prophet unseals the rock and causes it to well forth living waters


the warrior on the eve of battle turns from the watch fires lurid glare to think of the cheerful hearth at home or riding a victor over the crimson field of death laves his burning brain in the streams that spring from the memory of the green and smiling vale which gave him birth


the toiler after gold in the arid climes of ind yearns for the hour when he can regain his native soil even though it be but to find the last refuge from worldly cares a resting place for his bones


home is the oasisto the homeless is left a desert of desolation


the same thought passed like a lightning flash through the minds of the orphans who clung together more fondly and fervently they felt themselves alone in the world and each was to the other as the plank clasped by the drown ing mariner


that night fannys pillow was wet with tears and franks sleep broken and feverish


the evil eye was upon themthe demon of destruction hovered around


to be continued


chmtbr iv


showing how caudle having tobt honey at cards determines to abridge the house kxpknses


l dont know hnw il is my dear but when i remember that theres only you and myself just two of us and i eat end drink next to nothing and wlien i see what other people do with half our money i do think you might be a little more careful


im sure i spend no money on myself none


nobody can be mure watchful of every sixpence bat of course a man can save but little wben ke knbwj or that is when be fears he knows that everythings going to waste at horde besides its a womans place particu larly a womans placeto save women were designed for it economy ia


one of the noblest virtues bound tip with matrimony


there can be very little real love mrs caudle where economys neglected


a woman cant truly care for a mans heart unless she has an equal regard for bis pocket die things go together and always did from the first


no mrs caudle i did not lose at my whist club lest night that is only next to


nothing in other words nothing to speak of


now thats like your bex


you always set about hunting for some foolish shabby motive for whatever your husbands complain about


because i toseat cards i dont want to get the money back out of your cupboard


no i want to save money that should i be taken from you and life at all times is uncertain mrs caudle you might be left snug and comfortable thats my object


but i never knew any woman yet except one rest her sainted soul who bad the mind or the generosity to allow a truly noble motive to what her husband should do that is if it went against herself


you cant help it poor things nevertheless wben a man is depriving him self of every little enjoyment tbat he may lay by something for a rainy day it is hard a little hard i think to have a woman spend what you do in housekeeping


now mrs caudle be rational and for tbe thousandth time let me beg of you not to cry


you only waste your trouble and your tears


both are thrown away upon me im not one of the people i tell you again to be melted with a little soft water


my expenses that is yourexpensee are dreadful


your grocer s bill and when i never taste sugar in my tea is preposterous enough to ruin a man of ten thousand a year


what take sugar in my grpg and so do my friends


scarcely any nothing to speak of not worth naming


and hen look at your butcher for the last fortnight


well r know i wont eat cold joints


i had enough of them ith my first that is i cant bear em


besides with half tbe money you have a cold joints en insult to any man


and finally mrs caudle for you know


i hate this talk fit breakfast its a meal of all others i like to enjoy when i


can finally i have made calculation and in the nextmonth eooie what will your cupboard must do with


ten pounds less


its for your good i tell you wben im gone and ten pounds i must have of yon


holland house


i in two chapters


chapter


the first


i ii of and house is the only important mansion vener able for age and appearance now to be found in the neighbourhood of london


there has been talk more than once of pulling it down but every feeling of memory seems to start up at the threat and cry no no


the cry is not only one of the utmost parliamentary propriety the weight of the whole voice of the metropolis may be said to be in it nay of the nation itself is and even of the civilised world is for what court or diplomatist that knows of the whigs knows not of holland house


it is not hand some it is not ancient but it is of an age sufficient to make up for want of beauty it shows us how our ancestors built before shakspeare died a crowd of the reigning wits and beauties of that and every succeeding generation passes through it to the minds eye brilliant with life and colour and there it stands yet on its old rising ground with its proper accompaniment of sward and trees to gratify every body who can appreciate it and shame any one who would do it wrong


the upper apartments of holland house are on a level with the stone gallery of the dome of st pauls


their front windows command a fine view of the surrey hills as those of the back do of harrow hampstead and highgate


the aged look of the exterior is the more precious to the antiquary inasmuch as with the exception of a staircase or so it is the only part of its antiquity remaining


the interior has long been so modernised that a lover of old times is grieved to find not a single room in it which brings them before him


there is little which is older than the youth of the late lord and much that has been further modernised by the present


the fact is that the house had become so neglected during the nonage of the former in consequence of the reckless expenditures of the first lord and his son charles the great whig leader that there was talk of converting it into a workhouse


lord holland a respecter of old associations and of the pleasures of other people saved it and this circumstance should be counted among the claims to respect of his own genial memory


of the lawn or rather meadow which lies in front of holland house there is a tradition that cromwell and ireton conferred in it as a place in which they could not be overheard


from circumstances here after to be noticed the tradition is probable


it shows that whatever the subject of the conference may have been they could not have objected to being seen for there was no wall nor were there even trees we believe at that time in front of the house and we may fancy royalists riding by on their road to brentford where the kings forces were defeated trembling to see the two grim republicans laying their heads together


the grounds at the back of the house are more extensive than might be supposed and contain many fine old trees of various kinds with spots of charming seclusion


the portion nearest the house presents an expanse of turf of the most luxurious description with a noble elm tree upon it and an alcove facing the west in which there is a couplet that was put up by the late lord in honour of mr rogers and a copy of verses by mr luttrell expressing his inability to compare the poet


the couplet is as follows hero itogcis sat and here for ever do all to me those pleasures that heading so well


via hi


inscriptions challenge comments brief ones it is thought ought in particular to be faultless seats in summer time and lounging about on luxurious lawns half an hour before dinner beget the most exacting criticisms and thus a nice question has arisen whether the relative pronoun in this couplet ought to be that or which


our first impression was in favor of that but happening to repeat the lines next morning while in the act of waking ive involuntarily said which upon which side of the question we are accordingly prepared to fight with all the inveteracy of deserters from the other


lord hollands couplet is in the simple and tranquil taste which he had so much right to admire mr luttrells verses which are a score longer would have been improved by compression


but see how pleasant and readable are one or two natural expressions well now i am fairly installed in the bower how lovely the scene


i how propitious the hour


i the breeze is perfumed from the hawthorn it stirs all is silent around me but nothing occurs not a thought i protest though im here and alone not a chance of a couplet that rogers would own though my senses arc ruptured my feelings in tune and hollands my host and the season is june


so i rise since the muses continue to frown no more of a poet than when i sat down


beyond this mossy lawn is the open undulating ground terminated by the uxbridge road with which the public have become acquainted by means of the highland pastimes along its eastern side is a rustic lane furnishing a long leafy walk on the western side of the house are small gardens both in new and old styles the work of the late lady holland and the latter very proper both as a variety from the former and as a fitting accompaniment to the old house


it is also pleasant to fancy in what sort of way our grandmothers and greatgrandmothers the chinese and the decline of the eighteenth century on joyed their flowerbeds


in one of these gardens was raised the first specimen of that beautiful flower the dahlia which the late lord holland is understood to have brought from spain by another on a pedestal is a colossal bust of napoleon by a pupil of canova further west towards the addison road ore the moats which to say nothing of the evidence furnished by an apocryphal bit of brickwork that accompanies them are looked upon as the site of the older mansion belonging to the de veres and further still a few years ago was a classical altar erected by the same lord in memory of the fate of lord camelford aman half out of his wits who was killed on this spot in a duel which he insisted on provoking


the altar was an ancient roman one erected on a modern base and was inscribed with an expiatory dedication to departed souls or the gods who preside over the places of the deada curious instance of classical making be lief or playing at paganism on a serious occasion


lord camclfords body however was not under the altar


with the passion for going to extremes which characterised him he directed that it should be buried under a tree in a solitary spot of switzerland which had interested him during his travels


he was a pitt nephew to the great earl of chatham who wrote him letters when a boy


the poor youth who came to his end before he was thirty was wildness itself in many respects though he was fond of serious studies


his manners were perfect at times but at others would burst out into arrogance and insolence


he was a christian it is said upon conviction and yet could quarrel with a man about a trifle and insist upon fighting him notwithstanding all that could be done to adjust the difference


the reason he gave was that his antagonist was too good a shot to make it up with


this was a mr best


lord camelford went up to him in stevenss hotel in bondstreet and addressed him in the following placid words mr best i am glad to see you face to face and to tell you you are an in famous scoundrel


he afterwards confessed that he had been the aggressor


but an old house is not perfect without a ghost holland house has two


they do not indeed haunt it and were very transient in their appearance but they will serve to give a bit of ghostly interest to the spot for those whose imaginations like to catch a fearful joy on such points


the account is in aubreys miscellanies which were written in the reign of william the third


the beautiful lady diana rich daughter to the earl of holland as she was walking in her fathers garden at kensington to take the fresh air before dinner about eleven oclock being then very well met with her own apparition habit and everything as in a lookingglass


about a month after she died of the smallpox


and it is said that her sister the lady isabella thynne saw the like of herself also before she died


this account i had from a person of honour


aubrey though his gossip is valuable to a lover of books was credulous to excess


nicolai the german bookseller was in the habit of seeing hosts of spectral men and women pass through his room and a sick young lady just dressed for dinner and full of thoughts of herself sickly or otherwise might as well see her own image as that of any one else


the lady isabellathynne here mentioned wife of one of the ancestors of the marquis of bath is mentioned in another of aubreys works the lives and letters of eminent men as addicted to anything but ghostly communications


she and a friend of hers he says while on a visit to oxford used to come to morning prayers at trinity college chapel half dressed like angels


she would also make her entrance upon the college walks with a lute playing before her and must have been a great puzzle to the college ethics for she is described as possessing all kinds of virtues but one


she is the lady isabella whose playing on the late is recorded in a set of complimentary verses by waller the trembling strings about her fingers crowd and tell their joys for every kiss aloud


small force there needs to make them tremble no touched by that hand who would not tremble too


we think we have read somewhere but cannot call to mind in what book that she suffered a good deal of affliction before she died


we just now regretted that the interior of holland house has been so modernised as with little exception to retain no appearance of the antiquity to be expected from its appearance outside


we found nevertheless so much to interest us in it the conversation included of the gallant kinsman of the family who was so kind as to be our cicerone that as is too often the case with something one is bent upon recollecting we forgot to ask for the chamber in which addison died


we believe however it is among the few apartments that are not shown


among those which are is charles foxs bedroom that of mr rogers a frequent visitor with a poets view over the country towards harrow and that of sheridan


in the next room to which a servant was regularly in attendance all night partly we believe to furnish a bottle of champagne to the thirsty orator in case he should happen to call for one betwixt his slumbers at least we heard so a long while ago and it was quite in keeping with his noble hosts hospitality


but we forgot to verify the anecdote on this occasion and partly of this there is no doubt to secure the bed curtains from being set on fire by his candle


a pleasanter apartment to contemplate was the one in which lord holland used to hear his children say their lessons and induct them into the beauties of spenceran unexpected trait in the predilections of a man of letters brought up in the town tastes of the eighteenth century


but his uncle charles was fond of spenser and so was burke and the great earl of chatham


it is difficult to hinder great men from discerning the merits of greatness


the poetry of spenser was to their other books what their parks and retirements were to the town itself


the library must originally have been a place for exercise s for in its first condition it appears to have been scarcely anything but windows and it is upwards of ninety feet long by only seventeen feet four inches wide and fourteen feet seven inches in height


the moment one enters it one looks at the two ends and thinks of the tradition about addisons pacing in it to and fro


it represents him as meditating his spectators between two bottles of wine and comforting his ethics by taking a glass of each as he arrived at either end of the room


the regularity of this procedure is of course a jest but the main circumstance is not improbable though lord holland seems to have thought otherwise


he says for the words in faulkners kensington are evidently his fancy may trace the exquisite humour which en lives his papers to the mirth inspired by wine but there is too much sober good sense in all his lucubrations even when he indulges most in pleasantry to allow us to give implicit credit to a tradition invented probably as an excuse for intemperance by such us can empty two bottles of wine but never produce a spectator or freeholder


the collection of books is celebrated for its abundance of italian and spanish authors the former in particular


among the curiosities in other languages are an editio princeps of homer which belonged to fox a copy of the same poet belonging to sir isaac newton with a stick in his handwriting on the fly leaf and a singularly interesting one of camoens which it is alleged must have been in the hands of the poet himself


at the bottom of the titlepage is a painful corroboration of the statements respecting his end


it is an old spanish hand stating that the writer saw him die in a hospital without even a blanket to cover him


he did this says he after having triumphed in the east comocns served in various expeditions and traversed five thousand five hundred leagues of ocean and all for what but to study day and night to no better purpose than spiders to catch flies


there are several curious manuscripts in the library particularly three autograph letters of petrarch three autograph plays of lope de vega the original copy of a play of the younger moreton and the music of me testators olimpiade beautifully written out by jean jacques rousseau at the time when that shaker of the thrones of europe got his livelihood by work of that kind


the collection of pictures is not remarkable except as containing a greater number of portraits of men of letters italians in particular than is to be found perhaps in any other private abode


among them is addison when he was young a handsome face


alfieri in miniature the italian tragic poet who was some time in england his wife another miniature the countess of albany widow of the pretender a princess of the house of stolberg sir phillip francis robespierre miniature with his part insignificant look on which nobody would have guessed that so much tragedy was hanging jerome bonaparte a narrowminded repulsive countenance two portraits large and small if we mistake not of the duchess of portsmouth louise de querouaille charles the seconds mistress quite making out in one of them the baby face of which evelynaccuses her nobody would have taken her for an ancestress of the manly visaged foxes many portraits of the rest of the family a fine one of talleyrand by schroter and one by gerard of napoleon at fontainebleau


there are also busts of napoleon of machiavelli and of henry the fourth the last looking like a goat a curious painting by sir joshua reynolds consisting of whole length portraits of charles fox when a youth with his fair relatives lady sarah lennox and lady susan strangways and another by hogarth representing drydens play of the indian emperor performed by children one of whom is a grandniece of sir isaac newton whose bust is on the chimneypiece the play was performed for the amusement of the duke of cumber berland who is seated accordingly and the governess playing with one of the children is lady deloraine


we now come not only to the possessors of the present house but to those of the one that preceded it and therefore must go a good way back before we return to the foxes


we have seen in a former article that with the exception of an anglosaxon in the time of edward the confessor of whom nothing further is mentioned and of the bishop of coutances to whom william the conqueror gave it with power to alienate the de veres earls of oxford were the earliest recorded possessors of the manor of kensington and seated probably on the spot in question


it is not ascertained that such was the case but as the property was valuable was convenient in


its neighbourhood to london and seems to be implied as residential in the name of the adjoining locality earls court that is to say the court for administering the earls property or jurisdiction it is extremely improbable that none of the family ever occupied it


it was associated with their name from the time of william the conqueror to that of james the first


aubrey de vere its first holder under the bishop must needs have visited his property some time or other or for what did he come with the conqueror into england


the ancient manor house that stood not far from the present holland house must have been built for somebody and visions of aubrey and his successors however transient naturally present themselves to the eye of the local antiquary


this aubrey de vere came from holland with the first william as countrymen of his did afterwards with william the third


he died however a monk perhaps out of penitence for the wrongs which he had committed as a soldier


the title of earl of oxford came into the family with his grandson


almost all his successors were stirring soldiers and influential subjects


one of them was a magna charta baron another a commander at the battles of cressy and poictiers another at agincourt another was the great lord who received henry the seventh at his house with such a magnificent show of retainers and who notwithstanding his having been one of the chief instruments in setting that moneyscraper on the throne was fined by his sharpeyed and shabby visitor for entertaining him at a cost beyond the law


the family branched out into many worthies a daughter of one of whom the surry


vere of some noble verses by marvell was the lady fairfax who gave that brave contradiction in westminster hall to the assertion that all the people of england were in letters of charles the first


no


not the hundredth part of them


in short the word vere was almost synonymous in english history with whatever was noble and dignified when in its twentieth earl of oxford it came to a sorry end in the person of a profli gate timeservers who accommodated himself to every event in successiontory commonwealth and whig and crowned his anti heroic achievements by cheating an actress with a false marriage


the ken sington property however was saved the disgrace of belonging to this scoundrel for he died long after it had been carried by a coheiress into the families of argyle and others who sold it to sir walter cope the builder of holland house


but before we part with the veres we have a quarrel to pick with the whole of them or rather with their name and with the vere whoever he was who first gave their motto vero nihil cries nothing truer than true that is to say punkahs speaking nothing more veritable than vere


for the fact is saving their lordships valours and we think we see their dust redden as we say it


but it is the inventors fault not ours


the motto is false


vere does not mean true


the family came from holland the word in dutch is written weerite is the name of the place in the isle of walcheren which the owners quitted for drier quarters and the words means neither more nor less than the same word in englishweir or wear that to say a dam fish trap or floodgate


aubrey de vere is as fine an aristocratical sound as can well be imagined and it is a pity to spoil it but truth must be told


aubrey de vere means aubrey of the dam fish trap or floodgate


in short the veres originated with coasters or others whoever they werea hardy painstaking race


it may be added to complete the notice of the cases that the present representative of the race is the beauclerk family the daughter of the last lord having married the first duke of st albans the son of charles the second by nell gwynn


the two fathers it is to be feared helped to spoil for a time the blood of the actress for sydney beauclerk their grandson father of johnsons topham beauclerk is said to rave been as great a raf as either of them without inheriting any of the royal wit


this could not be said of topham however he might have resembled the king in more respects than one for though johnson in one of the most extraordinary compliments on record told him his body was all vice he added that his mind was all virtue a combination of totals which to the doctors surprise beauclerk did not seem happy to admit


but we are losing sight of holland house


sir walter cope the purchaser of the vere property in kensington seems to have been one of the money getters who profited by the endeavours which james the first made to supply his lavish ex chequer without the help of a parliament


he built the house or rather the main body of the house the centre and turrets about the year sixteen hundred and seven and bequeathed it to henry rich earl of holland as the husband of his daughter and heiress isabella


the wings and arcades were added by the earl


this earl of holland was the younger son of robert rich first earl of warwick by penelope daughter of queen elizabeths earl of essex the stella of sir phillip sydney


he was a handsome showy man was a favourite with james favourite the duke of buckingham and had the reputation of being in the good graces of charles the firsts queen probably for no other reason than his having fetched her as a bride from france and been coxcombical in his attentions on the way


he and his friend hay earl of carlisle wore the twin stars of the great world next after their patron buckingham and holland house during the prosperous portion of richs career must have entertained in its saloons all the rank and fashion of the time


among others came bassompierre the french ambassador who with the dandy indifference of his countrymen respecting the orthographies of other countries or being too fine a gentleman to hear the word properly from the first has recorded kensing ton under the mincing appellation ofstintiuton


wednesday


dined j ester day with the earl of holland at stintinton


unfortunately richs coxcombs made him over sensitive to what he thought attentions or the reverse from ruling powers and in the civil war he went to and fro in his partisanship with so provoking a caprice now playing the part of a knighterrant for tying and queen and now sinking at holland house and receiving visits from the disaffected for some imaginary affront that when the parliament at last seized him and put him to death for making a stand against the death of the king his end was a grief to nobody


foppish to the last he died in a white satin waistcoat and cap ditto with silver lace five months after the earls execution holland house was occupied by the parliamentary general fairfax husband of the starry vere who thus found herself under very extraordinary circumstances contemplating the property of her ancestors


at this period we are to suppose cromwell and ireton conferring on the lawn


the mansion however was soon restored to the earls widow and her children and from that time it remained quietly in the possession of the family almost as long as they lasted


the earl and his wife like the extinguished court had been friends of the drama and for a few days during the first establishment of the republic and a longer period in the reign of cromwell the players who had been great loyalists and who contrived to perform secretly now and then at noble mens houses where purses were collected for their benefit found special encouragement in the house differs li


from the restoration to the time of the georges holland house appears to have been let by the noble owners on short leases and to a variety of persons sometimes in apartments to lodgers or more probably a friend was now and then accommodated for nothing


the most interesting of its temporary lodgers was morices friend shippen the famous jacobite immortalised by pope for his sincerity


i love to pour out all in javelins plain as downright shippen or as old montaigne in them as certain to be loved as seen the soul stood still nor kept a thought within


no wonder that such a man drew houses when he spoke in parliament and that none but the stupid kept away


more loves the youth just come to his estate to range the fields than in the house debate more he delights in favrite fowlers tongue than in will shippen or sir william yonge


jlraiiitoni art of politics


very different persons however were honest will shippen and unprincipled william yonge of whom sir robert walpole said that nothing but his talents a could have supported his character and nothing but his character have kept down his talents


shippen had talents and character boththe latter of the highest description


though not so poor as andrew marvell nor on minor points perhaps so uncompromising he was nevertheless to the whigs of the reign of george the first what marvell had been to the tories of charles and jamesthe eloquent witty openhearted and upon the whole incor reputable partisan


when asked how he should vote he would say i cannot tell until i hear from rome


at rome resided the pretender


sir robert walpole observed of him and of parliament in general i will not say who are to be corrupted but i will say who is incorruptible and that is shippen


shippen in turn would say of sir robert robin and i are two honest men


he is for king george and i for king james but those men with the long cravats meaning sandys rush out and others they only desire places either under king george or king james he was sent to the tower for saying of king george who could not speak english that the only infelicity of his majestys reign was that he was unacquainted with our language and constitution


both sides of the house wished him to soften the expression but he declined


the prince of wales afterwards george the second who was at variance with the king sent a person to him with the offer of a thousand pounds as a convenience we suppose during his imprisonment butit was not to be expected that he who would not subject himself to influence for love would do it for money


sir robert walpole intercepted a letter written to him by the pretender and put it himself into his hands


it must have been of a description more than usually perilous considering how openly shippen talked of his correspondence with the exile


sir robert took the opportunity of saying that he did not expect to alter the others sentiments but would hope for his support in case of being personally attacked


to this ship pen agreed but remained in all other respects the same man


he was son of a country clergyman and possessed a moderate independance but married a northumberland heiress who turned out unworthy of him


in sixteen hundred and eightynine king william the third went to look at holland house with the view of taking it


but he preferred the house of the earl of nottingham which thus became the palace


probably however the rooms were larger in the nottingham house and so were better to begin with


perhaps also william did not find the grounds about holland house flat enough to suit his dutch predilections


nothing seems known of robert second earl of holland who had quietly succeeded his father except that in failure of the elder branch of the family he also succeeded as fifth earl of warwick the title being thenceforth the conjoined one of warwick and holland


his son and successor edward married charlotte daughter of sir thomas middleton of chirk castle in the county of flint a lady whose name and origin we mention because after the earls death she became the wife of addison


edward henry her son the next card is the youth whose statue in ken sington church has been noticed in a former article


he was succeeded by another edward his kinsman and the daughter and only child of this nobleman dying unmarried the title became extinct


this was in the year seventeen hundred and fiftynine


the house fell into the possession of his cousin william edwardes a welsh gentleman whose father had married the daughter of the first earl of warwick and holland and who in the year seventeen hundred and seventysix was created baron kensington but fourteen years previous he had sold the po on a visit to him at hampton court he calls the village lagincourt went to see the earl of holland who was sick at initincourt


i le yondi ody


to us your le compte de hollands mulatto a imtincourt


le mercer


sec his diner chez le comte de rounds a stintiuton


family mansion to the first lord holland of the fox family by whom the title had been consequently allowed to be taken and in the possession of this distinguished race it remains


addison notwithstanding the popularity of the foxes is still the greatest celebrity of holland house


his death in it is its greatest event places in the vicinity are named after him and the favourite record of its library is the tradition before mentioned of the bottle of wine at each end of it by which he is said to have refreshed his moralities while concocting their sentences to and fro


it is added unfortunately that addison drank the more because he was unhappily married


the question is still discussed and will probably never be settled


the received opinion is that addisons marriage with the countess of warwick originated in his being tutor to her son that the countess became ashamed of it as a descension from her rank and that their lives were rendered unhappy inconsequence


the prevalence of this opinion appears to be owing to johnsons lives of the poets in which the case is stated with so evident a willingness to believe it that people in general who are ready enough to fall in with such an inclination have overlooked the manifest assump tion on which it is founded and the said and perhaps with which it is qualified


setting aside higher points of view on such questions there is in fact no proof that addison was tutor to the young earl or that the countess felt any regret for the marriage on the score of rank


tutorship had he been a tutor need not have hindered him from being a pleasant husband


tutors have married highly before and since and have become lords and archbishops and though the lady was a countess by marriage her birth was but that of a baronets daughter


the truth of the matter we take to have been that the match was unsuitable on very ordinary grounds


the lady was well and merry the gentleman fit only to muse addison died at the end of three years


and hence as johnson would have been the first to say had any body provoked him to differ with the other opinion


hence all this mighty fuss sir about a tutor and a countess and the punctilious of rank


mighty versions are often given to things that have quite another significance it has been questioned of late under what real impulse another circumstance occurred which is connected with addison and hol land house


we allude to the famous words which he is said to have addressed in his last moments to the young earl of warwick see in what peace a christian can die


the story originated with young who said he had it from tickell adding that the earl led an irregular life and that addison wished to reclaim him


but according to malone who was a scrupulous inquirer there is no evidence of the earls having led any such life and walpole in one of his letters that were published not long ago startledwe should rather say shocked the world by telling them that addison died of brandy


it is acknowledged by his best friends that the gentle moralist whose bodily temperament was as sorry a one as his mind was otherwise had gradually been tempted to stimulate it with wine until he became intemperate in the indulgence


it is impossible to say what other stimulants might not gradually have crept in nor is it improbable that during the patients last hours the physician himself might have ordered them


addison therefore may have had some stimulus given him whatever it was not because he had contracted a habit which he could not leave off and so died of it but because like many a sober man before him he had not strength enough to speak without it


again he might or might not have known the nature of the draught yet still have regarded his peace of mind as a thing apart from the composure of his nerves and justly founded on what had been a conviction of his life


he might have said to himself nothing can compose me longer but my religious belief


let me show in this last trial how tranquilising it can be


it is in vain that we fancy the light spirit of walpole laughing at us for these considerationssaying to us oh what need of words


he died drunk and maudlin and theres an end


we cannot thus consent to think the worst instead of best of a man who has given the world so much instruction and entertainment and whose christianity at all events was of a kind superior to vulgar intolerance and who was disposed to think the best of most things


good words are good things yet good deeds are better


addison we doubt not had his rights of comfort from both yet there is one thing we could have preferred his doing in his last hours to anything which he may have said


it is the amends which for some mysterious reason or other he said he would have made to gay if he lived the story as related by pope is that a fortnight before addisons death lord warwick came to gay and pressed him in a very particular manner to ko and see mr addison which he had not done for a great while


gay went and found addison in a very weak way


addison received him in the kindest manner and told him that he had desired this visit to beg his pardon that he had injured him greatly but that if he lived he should find that he would make it up to him


gay on his going to hanover had great reasons to hope for some good preferment but all those views came to nothing


it is not impossible but that mr addison might prevent them from his thinking gay too well with some of the former ministry


he did not at all explain himself in what he had injured him and gay could not guess at anything else in which he could have injured him so considerably


now it surely would have been better if instead of stopping at gays pardon of him which of course the goodnatured poet heartily gave we fancy we see him coming out of holland house with tears in his eyes addison had followed it up with making the amends while he could or better still had he secured the amends beforehand in order to warrant his asking the parties


it may be said that he might have been unable


perhaps so


but still he might have given proofs that he had done his best


addison it must he owned did not shine during his occupation of holland house


he married and was not happy he was made secretary of state and was not a good one he was in parliament and could not speak in it he quarrelled with and even treated con sumptuously his old friend and associate steele who declined to return the injury


yet there in holland house he lived and wrote nevertheless with a literary glory about his name which never can desert the place and to holland house while he resided in it must have come all the distinguished men of the day for though a whig he was personally well in as the phrase is with the majority of all parties


he was in communication with swift who was a tory and with pope who was neither tory nor whig it was now that the noose and its owners began to appear in verse


rowe addressed stanzas to addisons bride and tickell after his death thus touchingly apostle prizes the place then hill whose brow the antique strictures grace reard by bold chiefs of warwicks noble race why once so loved wheneer thy power appears oer my dim eyeballs glance the sudden tears


it seems to have been in holland house for he died shortly afterwards that addison was visited by milsons daughter when he requested her to bring him some evidences of her birth


the moment he beheld her he exclaimed madam you need no other voucher your face is a sufficient testimonial whose daughter you are


it must have been very pleasing to addison to befriend milsons daughter for he had been the first to popularize the great poet by his critiques on paradise lost in the spectator


besides holland house addison possessed a mansion of his own at bilton in warwickshire which was afterwards occupied by his daughter who lived to a great age


he deserved to possess a good house and grounds for he understood the elegancies of such things and the tranquil pleasures of the country


the illustrious inhabitant of kensington watched with interest the improvement of the royal grounds in that a quarter and was the first to propose that winter j garden to horticulturists in general which we trust i to see realized with a world of other desirable in the great structure at sydenham


the mysteries of sydney not by the author of the mysteries of paris


or the mysteries of london but by one of ourselves


chapter vi


the police office


the situation of the two worthies mallison and wilson was any thing but desirable


inde pendently of the discomfort attached to passing a night in a kennel which was several degrees hotter than the blackhole at calcutta the an ticipation of facing the beaks was continually recurring to their minds and this to men of their stamp was the most fearful of ordeals


they were well aware that notwithstanding their constantparade of nominal legitimate occupa tions their real lawless movements wore well known to the police particularly to inspector tearing


wiggins and sharp who had long had a down upon them and watched them and their haunts with increasing vigilance


tired of imprecating vows of vengeance against oflaherty to whom they ascribed their present position they began to abuse each other in such roundset terms that mister tim cunningman the watchhouse keeper was compelled to place them in separate cells


morning came at last and having ablutionized in a bucket of water and rubbed themselves dry with a dilapidated pair of duck trousers by way of diaper they were marched across the yard at the head of a file of some twenty or thirty outcasts and unfor tunates of both sexes to the solemn sanctum of magisterial presidency


although the police magistrate had not arrived several individuals were clustered round a table in the centre of the office apparently engaged in hilarious discourse as frequent bursts of laughter were elicited by the observations of one or other of the speakers


such is the mockery the paradox of life


within those walls ringing with mirth at the light passing jest stood homeless houseless wretches castaways of society the very types of human wretchedness weeds in the garden of existence there stood the drunkard with shak ing limb cadaverous cheek and bloodshotten eye the wily thief with downcast look and schemerevolving brain the flaunting prostitute who whatever were her follies errors guilt was woman stillthere stood rheumy shaking age strong manhood trembling youth all waiting for the fiat of the law the word which was to entomb them or throw open their prison gates anxious dreading hoping despairingand yet the laugh rang loud amidst that scene of misery like pleasure holding her revels in a sepulchre


such is the paradox of life


be me sowl the capthains indulging this morning


exclaimed one of the loudest of the speakers glancing at the clock


he was appa rently about fifty though he bore his age lightly


his round bullet head darkgrey eye and long lashes bespoke milesian descent if the richest brogue of kerry had left doubt of that fact a momentary resting place


his broad face hang ing cheeks double chin and eyes almost buried in fat afforded no inaccurate illustration of those figures of indian goshes and mandarins which de corate the rooms of dealers in monstrosities


he was a species of legal falstaff whose enormous stomach and broad back threatened every in stant to burst through his black coat which en deavoured to compress a mountain of flesh into something like shape


stentorian lungs indo mitable assurance and a rollicking son of jollity made up the man who in advocating the cause of a client had very little of the fear of the bench before his eyes


he was evidently not to be put down


he was descended from the oblusters


on his right employed in tracing a multitude of strange vagaries upon a piece of paper sat a tall gentlemanlylooking person with a very intellectual cast of countenance


his profile was welldefined and striking al though the nose might be deemed rather too prominent


features more regular and more attractive might be met with but a more ex pressive or sprightly look could not be found


his name was ticklesbob


by the curl of his lip and the twinkle of his eye it was evident that he was indulging in a joke with a byronic looking young man who leant over the table bearing an enormous bouquet of flowers in his hand


his pale face long dark hair recum bent collar and careless costume bespoke hin to be the poet whose lines to a blighted rose lament of the lily sorrows of a snowdrop death of the dahlias dirge for the potato rot jar of pickled cabbage from baptists in imitation of leigh hunts jar of honey from mount hybla and ode to a watering pot had ensured him a niche in the market gardeners summerhouse of fame


he paid however but little attention to the remark which was made upon him as his mind was then wan dering in the realms of etherialism searching for those glowing fleeting beauties which are only visible to the poets delicately sensitive susceptibilities


such heavenly images he sought with all the ardour and intensity of en thusiasm in order to embody them in his great anticipatory epithalamium on the bridal of bachelors buttons and bluebelle


fenced off from this table was a long narrow box of the most uncomfortable construction and which the architect in some remarkable fit of illnature had made a place of penance in lieu of a place of case


three persons were seated therein with slips of paper before them and pens in handthey were the reporters of the press


the one at the end nearest the bench with sedate countenance and grizzle hair was of the serious heavy daily cast and scorned to look upon policeoffice attendance as a profane interference with his duties of report ing the proceedings of bible societies laying first stones of chapels and chronicling mis sionary doings in wangatewongamockeryshoo miipooh and humbugyboer certain rather indefinite localities situated either somewhere about the islands or in central africa or in other portions of the globe to which immigration was dangerous in which living was hazardous and from which emigration in a whole skin was highly improbable


next to him sat his very antipodesa devilmaycare sort of looking person whoso flowing lacks time had consider ably thinned although a decentsized pair of curly whiskers remained to hedge in a long sallow visage of jewish contour


the third occupant of the box differed materially from the others


his lean angular face bore token of the extremity of fast living his eyes showed all the sleepy character of habitual intemperance and his foul and fetid breath as it rolled forth in short asthmatic puffs was redolent of early morning draughts of rum


some chronic disease engendered in all probability by dis solute habits rendered his person as offensive to the nose as a deficiency of laving did to the eye


he was in fact a species of bipedal pole cata compound of dirt and disagreeableness


his mental perceptions were worthy to be cased in such a shell bombast bullyism and balder dash were the staple of his writings and alco hol the director


shortly after obluster had uttered his im patient remark a stumping noise was heard the distance which gave notice of the approach of the presiding official


inspector tearing ordered the court to be opened and bawled out silence us the captain a tall athletic redfaced individual entered and took his seat in the magisterial chair


but it was some time before silence could be obtained so great was the rush of the crowd principally composed of lazy lounging loiterers who infest every public place in the city preferring a life of sloth and privation to one of labour and comfort


these burrs upon the social systemthese drones in the hivewhoso means of living are mysterious and suspicious have a black mark attached to their names in the policeoffici books


the long list of drunkards principally old offenders was disposed of first the captain doling out a due meed of punishment heedless alike of their denials of the charge of over indulgence preferred or their promises of future amendment


do yon know this woman tearing


in quired he as a blooming damsel flauntingly dressed made her appearance in the dock


yesslightly your worship replied the officer somewhat hesitatingly


lts all gammon broke in the lady with a saucy toss of the headhe doesnt know half as much about me as your worship


dont you recollect


captain the little cottage on the racecourse where silence bawled out tearing


youre discharged thundered the captain dont let me see your face here again


call on the assault cases


the damsel descended from her pedestal and giving a knowing wink to some of her compan ions in waiting quitted the court


as she did so a second magistrate seated himself beside the captain


he was plump sleek and sleepy one of that class who without possessing any positive merit have sagacity sufficient to slide through the world comfortably and who if they do experience an occasional tumble in variably manage to fall in a soft place


the increase of his worldly substance had already raised him to the dignity of a jp and the honor of a civic councillor with a mayoralty in prospective


in performing these duties he was prosy fussy and important but well and kindly disposed in the main


his name was mac wully


mallison and wilson were then placed in the dock charged not only with being drunk and disorderly but also with assaulting the con stables in the execution of their duty


they pleaded not guilty whereupon obluster in formed their worships that he appeared for mallison


im concerned for wilson said a young man rising slowly from the table and in the first place i beg to make three hundred objections to the information


your worships will see ive an appointment at six oclock this evening mr breadman said the captain do you think your objections will be finished by that time


it is impossible for me to say your worship eight hours are scarcely sufficient for me to do justice to my client and argue these points and you are aware that the great principle of the english law as laid down in paley on convic tions and russell on crimes and affirmed in burns justice plunketts duties of magistrates and callaghans acts of council vol


page is that every man has a right to be heard in his own defence and to do the best he can for himself under any unfortuitous circumstan ces in which he may be placed


now your worships will observe i dinna just ken tho fu force o yer oobser vations mr breadman interposed mac wully


thats very likely your worship rejoined breadman rather testily but that allow me to say is not altogether my fault


judge black stone remarks vol


nd or rd page or i dont exactly recollect which but if your worships will allow me three quarters of an hour ill go home and find it touching the con veyance of real property that it is quite enough for a man to say a good thing without finding his hearer sense to understand it


faix that was a bit of polthooge


ye dealt him


whispered obluster


im for the prosecution said ticklesbob


three of you


exclaimed the captain tearing send to my house and order dinner to be put back till eight oclock this evening


i beg your worships pardon but im en gaged to assist my learned friend obluster said a gentleman pushing through the crowd with a carnation in his buttonhole and a foxy bronzybadgerycoloured scratch wig perched on his occipital regions


i hope im not too late


too early by half muttered the captain and apparently resigned to his fate he issued instructions countermanding the waiting of the dinner and in lieu of that requesting that his bed might be forwarded to the policeoffice as he did not anticipate the slightest chance of getting to the end of the case till a very advan ced period of the night


his fears were mate rially increased by the sight of a whole library of law books reposing on the table with nume rous little bits of paper protruding from them like quills on the back of a porcupine and which marked pages of reference to support the sharp points of law about to be mooted denied rejoined to replied to and decided


proceed mr breadman said the captain disconsolately


i object to this proceeding upon principle exclaimed obluster fativer may be the janius of misther bridman i think that my weight should intitle me to the fust haring


not in the laste said tarryowen viva ciously iv a preference is to be made it must be in my favor rejoined bread man stoutly and for this reason australian born as i am i have not now to learn that the march of mind by means of the gigantic force of intellect has walked over superannuation


young englands qutta percha sole stands upon ould irelands caubeen and therefore im for a rowhoooooogh


nabock lish


screamed obluster in a tone very simi lar to that of a red indian taking the first turn in a scalping match


im wid yez coincided tarryowen like a a donnybrooker full of white herrings and whis key an shew me the man who sthruck buckley


it strikes me said ticklesbob very qui etly that before settling the differences be tween the crown and my clients the discontented legal trio had better go out with an inspector and settle their own


if i might offer an opi nion upon legal etiquette i should say that in asmuch as the roman senate always made the tyros speak first in order that they the elders might gather wisdom from inexperience mr breadman is quite in order and ought to lead his followers


the bench agrees with you mr tickles bob said the captain curtly ergo mr bread man as i said before proceed


may it please your worships upon looking into this information your worships will see that is it is impossible you can fail to observe that the information now before you and which i hold in my hand is not an information at all


as mr breademan replied ticklesbob ris ing tells us that the information is not an in formation at all perhaps he will be kind enough to inform us as far as his information will a allow what this information is


i object to this course rejoined obluster and his coadjutor tarryowen simultaneously by the mortial mr ticklesbob has no right to expect to learn the law from us


my learned friends need not fluster them selves responded ticklesbob quickly when i find it necessary to go to school again i shall certainly not trouble them for tutorage


i merely wished to cut the matter short


fortunately the matter was cut short in a dif ferent way


a portly old gentleman with a mulberrycoloured physiognomy entered by a side door and whispered something in the cap tains ear who rose in evident delight and in formed the legal litigants that he was wanted immediately at government house and that the case must be adjourned


it will be over in five minutes cried bread man


half the time will suffice said tarryowen


a second will settle it ejaculated obluster


remanded till next week said the captain deaf to their promises of brevity the fallacy of which he had too often experienced


dis charge the prisoners on bail good morning gentlemen


and without waiting to hear another word of remonstrance he stumped out mounted his charger which was in waiting in the policeyard and hurried off in the direction of the viceregal mansion calling however in his way at mr danegans wine and spirit stores to make a few additions to his cellarage the stock of which was running rather low


mallison and wilson having entered into the necessary securities for their appearance when called upon left the hated precincts of the policecourt to report their misadventures to their companions in a more congenial locality and to concoct schemes for squaring their dif ferences with the offended dignitaries of the force to prevent the disagreeable necessity of encountering another public shewup


to be continued


the adventures of tom newberry


from the sydney revels by c a corbyn


chapter iv


alls well


that ends well


i found the character which hawlwell had given my hostess a true one in every particular


she was rough and ready but never illtempered


the table was spread with wholesome abundance


the house was kept clean and at the same time the charge was reasonable


i was anxious to procure a situation in which if i gained nothing else i at least might obtain colonial experience but i was astonished at the obstacles which stood in my way


my only sources of information were from the waterman hawlwell and from the daily papers wherein i read numbers of adver tisements for clerks bookkeepers accountants secretariesand other offices which i would gladly have accepted but always found the advertisers offices besieged with hosts of applicants most of whom possessed what in sydney is deemed of vast importance testimonials of competency character c


some of the gentry whom i met upon these errands were fortified with enormous and numerous testimonials looking voluminous enough to contain the history not only of the applicants life but of his primogenitors since the landing of hengist and horsa


one evening in passing the royal hotel the sounds of great noise and cheering attracted my notice and prompted me to enter


two or three hundred persons mostly of an appearance a grade between a respectable man and a common labourer were surrounding a platform upon which about a dozen vulgar looking


but well dressed men were seated or standing


i asked one of the spectators the reason of the assemblage


he gazed at me with unconcealed astonishment and contempt


whats it about ejaculated the man with ineffable disdain why aint yer heerd


you must be a new chum and a spanker


why its about the hedikating kevestion


and this eres a meeting of the neplusbultra radicals wots all in favour of the manualeplaniferous system has i thinks they calls hit thats not to hose a boys head with such rubbish as greek and latin and grammar and mathematics and history and music and drawing and dancing but to teach himto teach himoh


its summut else but youll soon hear here cums the horaters


as the man came to this abrupt conclusion a tall gentleman dressed in black came on to the front of the platform


gentlemen he began emphasizing the last syllable after that the cheers which greeted his appearance had died away gentlemen the ultrademocratic expressions of some persons in this community meet no responsible sentiment in the curticle of my bosom


i do not opine that the eventful moment has arrived when the erection of australia into an entirely independent state would prove extrasuperlatively and transcendant ly felicitous


we are not ripe gentle men we are not ripe


a voicetell us about the cloven foot


no


i did not come hither to answer for the appearance of that article in the journal under my direction but i came to address the mob terrible uproar two or three little fights


tunbellied chairmanorder you pack of ragamuffins


i came to address the sovereign people tremendous cheering upon the vital import of the great questionthe question of questionsthe question which we are assembled to agitate education


loud cheers


my battle cry shall ever be educate themasses


yes gen tle men my last thoughts by night and my wak ing aspirations shall ever be educationthat the mob another uproar the sovereign people cheers be educated


then shall the voice of bad grammar be no more heard


then instead of seeing with grief rough men meet in the street with their hows every inch of you and how do you weather the gale


we shall hear the meanest labourers exclaim at meeting salve paddysis tu quoque salvus mr connelly


great applause


therefore with my latest breath will i exclaim educate them asses


my tombstone shall contain the simple inscription educate themasses


cheers and confusion occasioned by some foolish men imagining that the speaker pointed at them during his gesticulation and termed them asses


as it was near dame ocallagans supper time i withdrew from the royal just as a gen tleman whose name i heard mentioned as daniel coughlan commenced a flowery oration on the importance of education


the worthy hostess presented me with a note which had been left for me by hawlwell


its contents ran as follows dear tom


a genlman hof the press named diehard as wears a wite at and a wherry big ed informed me that a wacancy was open for a partiklarly well hedikated genlman as a riter in the ligisslatif council


he says as how hes bidding for it and as got wonderful hinteresthall the middle class aristocracy has rekeemended him has mouncashel the imminent atter hillid the fancy shoemaker cleave the king of the butchers geordie the head baker vilsin the vonderful vatchmaker benjim the mognificent builder bill long the bottlenosed wine merchant with many others of equal influence


but dont you be alarmed at all at this


ill lay my boat and oars that if you goes to vork by my direkshins youll get the billet and a good un it is four hundred a year and nothink to do paid monthly


in the fust place ive gotten more hinfluence at ed quarters than some people reckon for


some of the gentry who hold their eds highest owes a deal of favors to me and if i told tales about the parties who sometimes use my boat for their picnic parties thered be a screw or two loose


sometimes its captain and mrs and a few friends of the hexecutor with ladies to match


they generally looks out for my boat for they knows im the wrong mark to peach on em


now you just draw out a couple of what dye call em testimonials and put my name to one on em and judith ocallagan to the other


at ten oclock tomorrow morning spruce your self up and dont lose your time kicking your heels at the colonial sekeetories hoffice for hes a going away i knows for a fact and therefore he wont bother his head


do you go straight to the australian club in bentstreet and ax to see captain


shew him the testimonials and tell him as how tom hawlwell will take it as a partikler favour if hell give you a lift


youll find it as right as one oclock and so no more at present from your wellwisher thomas halwell


tom newberry eskvire old mother ocallagans kent street


a man in necessity will grasp at anything


my purse was very nearly empty and at the hour mentioned by the waterman i stood under the verandah of the club


the waiters informed me that captain had not called but would probably do so in the course of the morn ing


i took a seat and could not help taking notice of what was going forward


the club seemed to consist of two distinct sorts of persons


several elderly gentlemen were seated at tables eagerly occupied in reading papers books and pamphlets and one respectable old individual was gesticulating vehemently before a looking glass


i subsequently ascertained that he was a member of the council practising his speech for the evening on the bathurst burr question


a knot of young men mostly moustachiod and many of them extensively bearded some dressed in fantastique deshabilles and some in the height of fashion were lounging in a corner talking und laughing loudly


i was soon convinced of the justice of my opinion that two diffrent castes of persons com posed the club for i occasionally heard some of the seniors mutter pert young scamps while the junior members when alluding to the others styled them fusty old muffs


presently i heard the name of captain mentionedand perceived a tall fine looking young man in a light summer coat and drab hat with a profusion of curling fair moustaches enter the hall


he was accompanied by a gen tleman about his own height similar in features but whose hair and whiskers were glossy black or very dark brown


the latter gentleman wore no moustaches and the only nomenclature which i heard attached to him was georgey


one of the waiters having mentioned the pur port of my visit captain was advancing towards me but at the moment two other gen tlemen entered and joined the throng of young gentlemen


the elder of these two was a cadaverous looking personage with a crop of fair frizzly hair around his lips chin and cheeks and on his head which gave him at least his features a similarity to those of a domesticated polar bear


he was dressed in light summer clothing


his companion was habited in the finest west of england broad cloths his coat being cut newmarket fashion and furnished with large bright metal buttons


he had a chubby rosy face and the gait of a rich booby


the hairy faced debauchee led captain from the throng a few paces


but within my hear ing and observed in a voice a little above a whisper must fetch him out captain rich as crsus bought a slap up station on the darling


twenty thousand sheep herds of cattle


ill introduce him to our lot


then stepping for ward he commenced the introduction of the novice


captain mr brasnose mr brasnose the captain


georgie mr brasnose mr brasnose georgie


gummy mr brasnose mr brasnose gummy


so the introductory course went on until the captain and his lot were introduced to the young gent who soon shook his feathers and commenced a conversation demd remarkably pleasant gals in this con founded country said mr brasnose


ah


you young dog responded gummy youve found that out already you have


really ive lost my heart half a dozen times over sighed the novice and am in despair for want of an introduction to some of the fair creatures


oh but you must never despair remarked the hairyfaced gent while theres life theres hope


well introduce you never fear


when my splendid fellow


you must know that delays are dangerous why let me see replied hairy face theres going to be a hop and supper at kates tomor row night


ill take care that youre properly introduced


at length captain courteously approached me i handed him my testimonials


he read them and burst into a hearty and last ing fit of laughter


georgie come here he shouted and we were in an instant surrounded by the whole throng comprising his lot


he handed the certificates signed by judith ocalla gan and the waterman around and his associates made the place ring again with their peals of laughter to the great annoyance of the elderly muffs


dn it observed georgie it would be a good action to get the young fellow the billet


ill give you a lift anyhow mr newberry


old enigma will be here in the course of an hour or two


hes a jolly hearty old fellow and hes sure to have thomsons berth when the latter goes to england which will happen before long so that enigmas word will go a long way for you


call again on monday and well all the whole lot of us do our best for you in the mean time


i returned to mrs ocallagans considerably elevated in my spirits having firstly returned thanks to the lot and secondly to my friend the waterman


the latter bade me be certain of success


the following day being sunday i entered the church of st james


the congregation were mostly assembled and the church was almost filled in every part but perceiving a pew entirely empty in or near the centre of the church i entered it and commenced my devo tions


a few minutes had only elapsed how ever when the legitimate owners of the pew came up to it


they consisted of a stout matronly dame who might have passed for a dowager sultana of constantinople and four young ladies her daughters


the five were dressed alike in rich and costly garments save that the bonnets of the young ladies were pink that of the dowager purple


the leading pile of the young ladies had entered the pew when a soporiferous looking pew opener beckoned me to come out


the first young lady with a graceful smile welcomed me to remain assuring me that there was plenty of room


i staid the service out but probably it would have been to my spiritual advantage had i fol lowed the intimation of the pew opener for the lovely face and figure of my charming neighbour sadly distracted my attention from the ser vice