on sunday they rather studied how to keep their men within call and in full hope than to follow out by any very fierce measure their first days proceedings


hope said dennis as with a loud yawn ihe raised isis body from a heap of straw on which he had been sleeping and supporting his ihead upon his hand appealed to hugh on sunday morning that muster gashford allows some rest


perhaps hed have us at work again already eh its not his way to let matters drop you may be sure of that growled hugh in answer


im in no humour to stir yet though


im as stiff as a dead body and as full of ugly scratches as tf i had been fighting all day yesterday with wild cats


youve so much enthusiasm thats it said dennis looking with great admiration at the un combed head matted beard and torn hands and face of the wild figure before him youre guch a devil of a fellow


you hurt yourself a hundred times more than you heed because you will be foremost in everything and will do more than tile rest


for the molter of that returned hugh shaking back his ragged hair and glancing towards the door of the stable in which they lay theres one yon der as good as me


what did tell you about him


did i say hie was worth a dozen when you doubted hiim ilsr


dennis rolled lazily over upon hiis breast and resting his chin upon his hand in imitation of the attitude in which hugh lay said as he looked towards the door ay ay you knew him brother you knew him


but whod suppose to look at that chap now that he could be the man he isl isnt it a thousand cruel t pities brother that instead of taking his natral rest i and qualifying himself for further exertions in this here honorable cause lie should be playing at soldiers like a boy


and his cleanliness too said mtr


dennis who certainly had no reason to entertain a fellow feeling with anybody who was particular on that score what weaknesses hes guilty of with sespect to his cleanliness i


at five oclock this morning there he was at the pump though any one would think he had gone through enough the day before yesterday to be pretty fast asleep at that time


but nowhen i awoke for a minute or two there lie was


at the pump and if youd have seen tl him sticking them peacocks feathers into his hat when hed done syashlingahll im sorry hes such d an imperfect character but the best on us is incomin a plete in some pint of view or another


the subject of this dialogue and of these conclu


i ding remarks which were utteredin a tone of philo


sophlical meditation was as the reader will have i divined no other than barnaby who with his flag in hiis hand stood sentry in the little patch of sun ci light at the distant door or walked to and froe outside singing softly to himself and keeping time ti to the music of some clear church bell


whether he stood still leaning with both hands on the llagstaff or hearing it upon hiis shoulder paced d slowly up and down the careful arrangement of a hiis poor dress and hiis erect and lofty bearing h showed how high a sense he had of the great p importance of hiss trust and how happy and how tl proudgit made him


to hughl and his companioe tl who lay in a dark corner of the gloonly shed hie ti and the sunlight and the peaceful sabbath sound to which hie made response seemed like a bright picture framed by the door and set off by the stables ce blackness


the whole formed such a contrast toi themselves as they lay wallowing like some obscene ainrmals in their squalor and wickedness on the two ei heapsof straw that for a few moments they looked li on withlout speaking and felt almost ashamed


gi


ahsl said hugh at length carrying it off withll a laughl heos a rare fellow is blarnaby and can w do more with less rest or meat or drink than any of us


as to hiis soldiering i put him on duty as there


uj then tlhere was a object in it and a proper pr good one too ill sworn retorted dennis withll p a broad grin and an oath of tire same quality se what was it brothler why you see said hugh crawling a little nearer to him that our noble captain yonder came in yesterday morning rather the worse for as liquor and was like you and me ditto last night


b


dennis looked to where simon tappertit lay coiled upon a truss o hay snoring profoundly and at nodded m and our noble captain continued hugh with m another laugh our roaring captain


and i have planned for tomorrow a roaring expedition with yt good profit in it


against the papists asked dennis rubbing bh isis hands


ns ay against the papilstsgainst one of em at least that some of us and i for one owe a good o heavy grudge to


we not muster galshfords friend that he spoke toa us about in my house eh said dennis brinifull of pleasant expectation


the same man said hugh


thats your sort cried mr dennis gaily us shaking hands with him thats the kind of game


it lets have revenges and injuries and all that and ii


we shall get on twice as fast


now you talk a indeed he ha ha ha


the captain added hugh he has thoughts of carrying off a woman in the le bustle andha ha ha iand so have mr dennis received this part of the scheme with er a wry face observing that as a general principle he at objected to women altogether as being unsafe and id slippery persons on whom there was no calculating e


with any certainty and who were never in the same vd mind for fourandtwenty hours at a stretch


he ys might have expatiated on this suggestive theme at se mush greater length but that it occurred to him to y ask what connexion existed between the proposed by expedition and barnabys being posted at the stable or door as sentry to which hugh cautiously replied n in these words d why the people we mean to visit were friends of his once upon a time and i know that much of a him to feel pretty sure that if he thought we were re going to do them harm hed be no friend to our se side but would lend a ready hand to the other


so m ive persuaded him for know him of old that st lord george has picked him out to guard this place ot tomorrow while were away and that its a great a honourand so hes on duty now and as proud of k it as if he was a general


ha ha i what do you st say to me for a careful man as well as a devil of a fn one


s mr dennis exhausted himself in compliments i and then added but about the expedition itself d about thatsaid hugh you shall hear all y particulars from me and the great captain conjointly and both togetherfor see hes waking up


rouse d yourself lionheart


ha hal put a good face upon it and drink again


another hair of the dog e that bit you captain i call for drink i


theres if enough of gold and silver cups and candlesticks n buried underneath my bed he added rolling back e the straw and pointing to where the ground was it newly turned to pay for it if it was a score of y casks full


drink captain d mr tappertit received these jovial promptings with a very bad grace being much the worse both is in mind and body for his two nights of debauch and but indifferently able to stand upon his legs


we with hughs assistance however he contrived to e stagger to the puimp and having refreshed himself s with an abundant draught of cold water and a it copious shower of the same refreshing liquid on his d head and face he ordered some rum and milk to be served and upon that innocent beyerage and some e biscuits and cheese made a pretty hearty meal


that n done lie disposed himself in an easy attitude on a the ground beside his two companions who were d carousing after their own tastes and proceeded to enlighten air


dennis in reference to tomorrows d project


that their conversation was an interesting one d was rendered manifest by its length and by the close a attention of all three


that it was not of an op


d pressively grave character but was enlivened by e various pleasantries arising out of the subject was e clear from their loud and frequent roars of laughter which startled baruaby on his post and made him wonder at their levity


but lie was not summoned to join them until they had eaten and drunk and slept and talked together for some hours not indeed until the twilight when they informed him that they were about to make a slight demonstration in theistreets just to keep the peoples hands in as it was sunday night and the public might otherwise be disappointed and that he was free to accompany d them if lie would


without the slightest preparation saving that they carried clubs and wore the blue cockade they sallied out into the streets and with no more settled design i than that of doing as much mischief as they could t paraded them at random


their numbers rapidly increasing they soon divided into parties and agreeing to meet by and by in the fields near wel beckstreet scoured the town in various directions


a the largest body and that which augmented with a the greatest rapidity was the one to which hugh and barnaby belonged


this took its way towards smoorfields where there was a rich chapel and in which neighbourhood several catholic families were known to reside


beginning with the private houses so occupied they broke open the doors and windows and while they destroyed the furniture and left but the bare walls made a sharp search for tools and engines of destruction such as hammers pokers axes saws and such like instruments


many of the rioters made bells of cord of handkerchiefs or any material they found at hand and wore these weapons as openly as pioneers upon a field day


there was not the least disguise or concealment indeed on this night very little excitement or hurry


from the chapels they tore down and took away the very altars benches pulpits pews and flooring from the dwelling houses tihe very wainscoting and stairn


this sunday evenings recreation they pursued like mere workmen whlo had a certain task to do and did it


fifty resolute men miglht have turned thlem sat any mbtnent a single company of soldiers could have scattered them like dust but no man inter sposed no authority restrained them and except by the terrified persons who fled from tlheir approach they were as little heeded as if they were pursuing their lawful occupations withl the utmost sobriety and good conduct


in the same manner they marched to the place of rendezvous agreed upon made great fires in the fields and reserving tile most valuable of their spoils burnt the rest


priestly garments images of saints rich stuffs and ornaments altar furniture and house


hold goods were cast into the flames and sited a glare on the whole country round but theydanced and howled and roared about these fires till they were tired and were never for an instant checked


as the main body filed off from this scene of action and passed down welbeckstreet they canme upon gaslhford who had been a witness of their proceedings and was walking stealthily along the pavement


keeping up with him and yet not seeming to speak hugh muttered in his ear is this btoiler master no said gashford it is not


what would you have said hugh


fevers are never at their height at once


they must get on by degrees


i would have you said gashford pinching his arm with such malevolence that hls nails seemed to meet in the skin i would hiave you put some meaning into your work


foolsl can you make no better bonfires than of rags and scraps


can you burn nothing whole a little patience mastersaid hugh


walt but a few hours and you shall see


look for a red


ness in tile sky tomorrow night


with thlat hlie fell back into his place beside bar


naby and when the secretary looked after him both were lost in the crowd


to le olnntlned


literature


the ministers wooing


a talh of new england


bv mrs e b stowe


continued fro h the age of jane


chapter v tue iettlir mary returned to the quietude of her room


the red cf twilight had faded and the silver moon round and fair wag rising behind the thick boughs of the applo trees


she sst down in the window thoughtful and sad and listened to the crickets whose ignorant jollity often sounds ns mournfully to us mortals as ours may to supe rior being


there the little hoarse black wretches were scraping and creakiag as if life and death were invented solely for their pleasure and the world were crcated only fo give thtm a good time in it


now and then a little wind shivered among the bourhs and brought down a shower of while petals which shimmered in the slant beams of the moonlight and now a ray touched some tall head of gruss and forthwith it blossomed into silver and fctirred itsolf with a quiet joy like a newborn saint just awaking in paradise


and ever aud auoa came on the still air the soft eteraal pulsations of the distant sea sound mourufullebt most myserioup of all the barpings ot nature


it was the sea


the deep eternal sea the treacherous soft dreadful inex plicable sea and he ws perhaps ii this moment being borne away on it away away to what boitowb to whai temptations to whit dangers sbe knew not


she looked along the old familiar beaten path by which he came by which he went and thought what if le nsrtcr should come back


ihera was a littlo path through the orchard out to a small elevation ia the pasture lot behind whence the sea waa distinctly visible and mary hid often used her lowsilled window a a door when sbe wanted to pass out thither so now she stepped out and gatheriug her skirts back from the dewy grass walked thoughtfully along the path aud gained the hill


newport harbor lay stretched out in tho distance iih the rising moon casting a long wvvering track of ulver upou it and vessels like silverwinged moilis were turning and shilling slowiy fo and fro upun it and one stately ship in fall sail passing lairly out under her white caavas graceful as soma grand snowy bird


marys beating heart told bur tint there was passing away from her one who carried a portion of her existence with hira


she sat down under a lonely tree that stood there and resting her elbow on her knee followei tbe ship with silnt prayers a


itpaecd like a graceful cloudy dream out of her sight


then she thoughtfully retraced her way to her chamber and as she was entering observed in the now cleaior moonluht v hat she had not seen be fore something white like a letter lying on the floor


immediately she struck a light and there sure enough it wap a letter in jamess hand some dashing baud and the little puss before she knew what sho was about actually kissed it with a fervour which would much have estnnibhed the writer could he at that moment have been clairvoyant


but marv felt as one who finds ia the emptiness after a frieuds death an unexpected message or memento and all alone in tbe white calm sfilhess of lier little room her heart took sudden possession of her


she opened the letter with trembling bauds and read what of course we shall let you rend


ye got it out of a bundle of old smoky yellow letters years after all the parties concerned were gone on the eternal journey beyond earth


my dear alary i cannot leavo you so i have ubaut two


hundred things to say to you and its a shame i could not have had longer to see you but blessed be ink and paper


i am writing and seeing to fifty things besides so you musnt wonder if my letter has rather a confuted appeirance


i hnve been thinking that perhaps i gave you a wrong impression of myself this afternoon


i am going to speak to you from my heart as if i were confessing on my dealhbed


well then i dj not conies


lo being what ia commonly calltd a bad young matt


i thould be wiliiug that men of tho world generally even strict ones should look ray life through aud know all about it


it is only iu your presence mary that i feel that i am bad anu low and shallow nnd mean because you repre sent to me a sphere higher and holier than auy in which i have ivcr moved and stir up a sort cf sighing and longing in my heart to come towards it


in all countries in all temptations mary yoir image has stood between me and low gross vice


when i have beeu with fellows roaring drunken beastly songj suddenly i have seemed


lo see you as you used to sit beside me in the singingschool and your voice has been like au angels in my ear and i have got up and gone out sick and disgusted


your face has risen up calm and white and still between the faces of poor lost creatures who knrw no be


tur way of life than to tempi u to sin


anl some time mary when i have wen girls that had they betn cared fer by good pious mothers might have been like you i have felc as if i could cry for them


poor women aro abused all the world over and its no wonder they turn round bdd revenge themselves on us


no i have not been bad mary as tho word calls badness


i have been kept by you


but do you remember you told me once that wbea the snow first fell aud lay so dazzling and pare and solt all about you always felt as if the spreads nnd windoweurtaih that seemed white before were dirty


well its just like that with me


your presence makes me leel that i am not pure that am low and unworthy not worthy to touch the hem of your garment


your good dr h spent a whole halfday the o her sunday trying to tell us about thu beauty of holiness and he cut and pared and peeled and sliced and told us what it wasnt and what was like it and wasnt and then he built up an ex act definition and fortified and bricked it up all rouud j aud thought to myself that hed better tell em to look at mary scudder aud theyd un derstand all about it


that was what i was think ing when you talked uo me lor looking at you in church instead of looking towards the pulpit


it really made me laugh in myself to see what a good little ignorant unconscious way you had of look ing up at the doctor as if he kuew more about that than you did


and now as to your doctor that you think so much of i like him for certain things in certain ways


he is a great grand large pattern of a man a man who isnt afraid to think and to speak anything he does think but then i do be lieve it he would take a voyage round the world in the forccaetle of a whaler he would know more about what to say to people than he does now it would certainly give hin several new points to be considered


much of hib preaching aoout men is as like live men as chinese pictures of treos and rocks and gardens no nearer the reality than that


all i can say is it isnt so and youd know it sir if you knew men


he has got what thy call a syttem j ust so many bricks put together just so but it is too narrow to tako in alt


i eee ia my wanderings round this world of ours


nobody that has a soul and goes round tbe world as i do can holp feeling it at times and thinking as he sees all the races of men and their wuys who mado them and what they were made for


to doubt the existence of a god seems to me like a want of common sense


here is a maker and a ruler doubtlesi but then mary all this invisible world of religion is unreal to me


i can see we must be good somehow tbat if we are not we shall not be happy here or hereafter


as to all the metaphysics of your good doctor you cant tell how they tire me


im not the sort of person that they can touch


i must have real things real people abstractions are nothing to me


then i think tbat he systematically contradicts on one sunday what he preaches on anoth r


one sunday he tells ub that god is the immediate efficient author of every act of will the nexthe tells us that we are entire free agents


i see no cense in ir and cant take the trouble to put it together


but then ho and you have something in you that i call religion some thing that makes you gaud


when i see a man working away on an entirely houest unworldly disinterested pattern as he docs and when i eee you mary as i said before i should like at least to be ps you are whether i could believe as you do or not how coald you so care for me and waste on one bo unworthy of you such love


oh mary yome better man must win you never shall and never can hut then you must not quite forget me you must be my friend my saint


if through your prayers your bible your friendship you can bring mo to your state i am willing to be brought thtre nay desirous


god has put the key ot my soul into your hands


so dear mary good


bye


pray still for your naughty loviog cousin jambs


mary road this letter and reread it with more pain than pleasure


to feel the immortality of a beloved soul hanging upon us to feel that its only communications with heaven mutt be through us is the most solemn and touching thought that can pervade a mind


it wus without one particle of gratified vanity with even a throb of pain that she read such exalted praises of hersslf from one blind to the glories of a far higher loveliness


yet was sue at that moment unknown to her self one of the great company scattered through earth who are priests unto god ministering lie tween the divine one who has unveiled himself unto them and those who as yet stand iu the outer courts ol the grtat eanctuary of trutb and holiuess


many a heart wrung pierced bleeding with the sins and sorrows sf earth longiog to depart stands in this mournful aud beautiful ministry but stands unconscious of the glory of tbe work in which it waits aud suffers


gods kingb and priests are crowned with thorns walking the earth with bleed ing feet and comprehending not the work ihey are performing


mary took from a drawer a small pocketbook from which dropped a lock of black hair a glossy curl which seemed to have a sort of wicked wilful life iu every ehining ring just as she had often seen it ehko naughtily on the owners head


she felt a strauge teudoiness towards the utile wilful thing and as she leaned over it made in her heart a thousand fond apologies for every fault aud error


she was standing thus when mrs scudder entsred the room to sec if her daughter bad yet retired


what are you doing there mary


she eaid as her eye fell on the letter


ffhat is it you arc reading


alary felt herself grow pale it was he first time in her whole life that her mother had asked her a question tbat she was not from the heart ready to answer


her loyalty to her only parent had gono on even handed with that she gave to her god she fel somehow that the revelations of that afternoon had opened a gulf between them uud tbficnnseiouenefs overuowared her


mrs scudder was astonished at her evident em barrassment her trembling and paleness


she was a woman of prompt imperative temperament and the slightest hesitation in reudering to her a full outspoken confidence had never before oc curred in their intercourse


her child was the core of herneart the apple of her eye and intense love ia always near neighbor to anger there was therefore an involuntary flash from her eye and a heightening of her color a she said mary are you concealing anything irom your mother


ia that moment mary had grown calm again


the wonted seiene balanced nature had found its hibiual poire and she looked up innocently though with tears in her large blue eyes and eaid no mother i have nothing that i do not mean to tall you fully


this letter came from james marvjn he came here to see me this after noon


here when


i did not see bim


after dinner


i was sitting here in the window and suddenly ho camc up behind me through tho orchardpalb


mrs katy sat down wllb a flashed cheek and a discomposed air but alaiy seemed actually to bear her down by the candid clearness of the large blue eye which tha turned on her as she stood perfectly collected with her deadlypale face aud a brilliant spot burning on each check


james came to say goodbye


he complained that he had not had a chance to see mo alone eluce he came home


aud what should he want to see you alone for said mrs scudder iu a dry disturbed tone


mother everybody has things at times which they would like to say to some one person alone said mary


well tell me what he raid


i willtry


in the first place he said that he always had been free all his life to run in and out of our house and to wait on me like a bro ther


hum i said mrs scudder but he isnt your brother for all that


well i hen he wanted to know why you were fo cold to him and why you never let him walk with me from meetings or see me alone as we ofton used to


and i told him why that we wero not children now end that you thought it was not best aud then i talked with him about religion and tried to persuade him to attend to the concerns of his soul aud i never felt so much hope for him as i do now


aunt kity looked sceptical and remarked if he really felt a disposicion for religious instruction dr h could guide him mucu bettt than you could


ye so i told him and i tried to per suade him to talk vih dr h but he was very unwilling


he said could have more influence over him than anybody else that nobody could do him any good but me


yes yes i understand all that baid aunt icafy i have heard young men say thai before and i know just what it amounts to


but mother i do think james was moved


very much this afternoon


i never hcaid bim speak fo seriously he seemed really io earnest and he asked me to give him my bible


couldnt he read any bible but yours


why


naturally you know mother he wonld like my bible better because it would put hira in mind of me


he premised faithfully to read it all through


and then it seems he wrote you a letter


yes mother


mary shrank from showing this letter from the natural sense of honor which mikes us feel it inde licate to expose to an unsympathising eye the con fidcatil outpourings of another heart and then she felt quite sun tbat there was no such interces sor for


james iu her mothers heart as in her own


but over all this rcluctance rose the dcteimined force of duty aud she handed the letter in silenco to her mother


mrs scudder took it laid it deliberately in her lap and then began searching in the pocket of her chintz petticoat for her spectacles


these being found she wiped them accurately adjusted f them opened the letter and spread it on her lap brushing out its falds and straightening it that sho might read with greater i ease


after this she read it carefully and dolibe i


rately and all this while there was such a still ness that the sound of the tall varnished closk in the best room could be heard throagh the half opened door


after reading it with the most tiresome tortur ing slowness she rose and laying it on the table under marys eye and pressing down her linger on two lines in the letter said mary have you told james that you loved him


yes mother always


i alwayb loved him and he always knew it


but mary this that he speaks of is something different


whut has paesed between


why mother ho was saying tbat we who were christians drew to ourselves and did not care for t the salvation of our friends and then i told him hew


i had always prayed for him and how i should be willing even to give up my hopeb in heaven if he might be saved


f i child what do you mepn


j i mean if only one of us two could go to f heaven i had rather it should be him than me said mary


oh child


child said mrs scudder with a sort of groan has it gone with you so far as thia


poor child i after all my care you are in f love with this bo your heart is set on hlrn


f mother i am not


i never expect to v see bim mucb never expect to marry him k or anybody else only be seems to me to have so p much more life and soul and spirit than most t people i think him so noble and grand tbat is fc tbat he coud be if he were all be ought fo be that somehow i never think of myself in thinking if of him and his salvation seems worth more thau i miue men can do so much more they can livo


such eplendid lives


oh a real noble man is eo glorious


aud you would like to see him well married would you not sjid mrs shudder sending with a true womanb aim this keen arrow into the midst of tho cloud of enthusiasm which enveloped ber daughter


i think she added thit jauo speucer would make bim an excellent wife


mary was astonished at a strange new pain that shot through ber at these words


sbe drew in her breath aud turned herself uneasily as one who had literally felt a keen dividing blade pierc iag between soul and spirit


till this moment sho bad never been conscious of herself bat the abaft had tern the veil


sbe covered her face with her hands tbe hot blood flushed scarlet over ber neck and brow at last with a beseeching look she threw herself into her mothers arms ob mother mother i am selfish after all


mrs scudder folded her silently to her heart and baid my daughter that is not at all what i wished it to be i sue how it is but then you have been a good child i dont blame you p we cant always help ourselves


we dont always really know how we do feel


i didnt know or


a long hile tbat


i loved your father


i thought i was only curious about him because he had a btrunge way of teaing me i diilerent frcm other men but one day i remem ber julian siinoub toid me that it was reported that his mother waa mukiug a match lor bim with susan eaiery and i was astonished te fiod how i felt


i saw him that eveuiug and the moment he looked at me


i


eaw it wasnt true all at once i knew something i never knew before and that i was that i ehuuld be very unhappy if be loved any one else better thaa me


but then my child your father wab a different man from jams hu was as much better tbnn


i was sa you are than


jameb i was a foolish thoughtless young thing then


i never should have beeu anything at all but for him


somehow when i loved him i grew more serious aud tbeu ha always guided and jed me


mary your father was a wonderful man he was one ol the sort that tbe world knows not of sometime i must show you i his letters


i always hoped my daughter tbat you would marry such a man dont speak of marrying mother


i never eball marry


you certainly should not unless you can marry in the lord


remember the words be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers


for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighte ousness


and what communion bath light with darkness


and what concord hath christ with belial


or what part halk he that believeth with an infidel v j mother


james is not an infidel


origin ok thr bowie knife


a letter of colonel james bowies states that the first knife of the kind w is fashioned under his directions p and designed for use as a hunting knife and made with unusual thickness in the back to have the benefit of a cleaving cut


col bowie had terrible encounters but he is said to have been a man of gentle manners and not quarrel some


i


chapter xxvii


makgabets journey


after pacing his sittingroom to and fro half the night norman resolved to ask mr newbuds leave on the morrow to let him return at once to bure to finish his work alleging as a reason what was really the truth his anxiety respecting liddy


from what he had already heard he half feared that per


ay mission would not be given still he kuew that mr newbud was his friend and would grant him any favour con sistent with the exigencies of the busi ness


therefore sought that gentle man in the countinghouse previous to mr stopps clockhke arrival from clap ham for the day


as wsual mr newbud listened with great pat ran oe to what norman had to say and with added interest when he spoke of liddy


ah


ah said the old gentleman i dont wonder that you are anxious about your child shes a lovely little creature and has a sweet nature too


my sister chole says so and shes a j udge


i only fear mr stopp will not consent


orders are coming quickly in and he has already arranged that another workman go down to conclude the job


but i should have thought that your pretty child would have been safer in the country than here


hoped and thought so too sir but i find not


here my anxieties were even greater for from what my poor wife dropped only a night or two before she died that school of miss biooks was a bad sort of place not because of the mistress but of those lodging there


my belief is sir that half the woes of persons of my class springs in some way or another from the terrible evils of the lodginghouse system


why sir there is my william as steady a lad a few months since as could be now all wild and adrift because of some acquaint ance he formed in the floor under ours


as i said mr newbud when i first became your workman masters knew of the evils of a poor mans house in london especially when compelled to live near his work


im beginning very seriously to think so replied the kind old man as he passed his hands one into another thoughtfully my good sister chloe who goes so much up and down amongst our workmens homes has long told me this thing


but nothing has so en lightened me as the trial of a poor fellow named joe appleshaw for the manslaughter of his wife


the evidence brought forward for his defence gave such a picture of the miseries the labour ing classes have to endure in london and other large towns for the want of proper house accomodat ions as to far transcend all which could be imagined


the only wonder is under such a com plication of all those causes which de grade humanity that there is one honest man or one decent woman left


i know several gentlemen who are greatly interested in this question one more especially than the rest


his name is loxwood and his plans seem to be so full of amelioration that to assist them i need but little further urging


in such case capital will be needed and i will gladly lend a reasonable sum


to give it i should decline because i think that all essential benefits of this kind should be paid for and that if we wish to increase a spirit of independence amongst the labouring classes it must be through abstaining from the pauperiz ing charity of former days


but there is mr stopp


the latter gentleman bowing to good mr newbud as was wont and glancing at norman repaired to his desk to read his morning letters


when that point was satisfactorily accomplished he in timated his readiness to attend to busi ness


with your leave


said mr newbud there is one small matter to settle first


norman who has awaited your coming mr stopp for he has already my consent to the step wishes to return to bure for a brief time


he has reason for anxiety respecting his little daughter and some small affairs to settle he could thus complete the work at the manor house as was originally our in tention


certainly not replied mr stopp with characteristic peremptoriness


most certainly not


my arrangements are already made for smith to go and as i have before said mr newbud i cannot let private matters interfere with those of business


in the shop our work men must forget their homes


here mr stopp coughed as he always did after laying down the law


then turn ing towards norman he bid him proceed on certain important business to a large mansion in one of the squares


as norman turned to obey he could not but notice his workmans pale and anxi ous face


so he offered a sop after his own fashion


hem


norman i beg to intimate that your work at bure has been very satisfactorily perf rned and has led through report to other large orders from neighboring gentry


there fore the rise in wages proposed some time since by mr newbud shall take place at the close of this week


now you may go


the prudes


kiss


clmptbit


i


news


newe cried harvey


hetherington ashs enteredthe drawingroom and dispensed his favours to the fair inmntes heros n lettor for you cousin isahella nnd another for kate therois nono for ellen she


must theroforo con sol herself with tho new magaiinc


tho news paper sir


old dr hetherington having adjusted his glasses made an nttack on his favorito journal hile tho ladies with equal alacrity devoured their respectivo favours


oh harvey fanny will bo hore


i cried kate


isabel perused her letter in silence while harvey hetherington availed himself of hot downcast glance to scrntiniso


her lovely coun tenancelot us do tho samo


from this point observo what a beautiful profil nnd how wondrous fair


what a rich mass of shining hair sweops her rounded check and is gathered up into tho massive iraidbe hind and then tho long dark lashes lengthened by their own shadow partake of its luxurious ness


her mouth is modollcd from cupids bow with a short full upper lip that curls as proudly as though its mistrsss woro a cleopatra


wo cannot seo her downcast eyes hut they must bo largo dark and eloquent


staysho looks up and her flashing glnnco withers poor harvey


thats for gazing so rudely nt a lady


halen tells me they hnvo lind quito an ex citement in philadelphia about tho hon


harvey gray thousands of visitors have been flocking to seo him and


ah


glorions old hnrvey interrupted dr hetherington glancing over his glasses


tho honourable gentleman was an especial favorite with tho doctor after whom in his enthusiasm he had named his son


and tho ladies have caught tho infection resumed isabel


tcchimed


tho doctor only think thousands of sweet kisseskiss whom ho pleases


ile


ho capital


this is famo


eh harvey dont it make you ambitious v


thank you sir i would rather not havo tho bloom kissed from my young lips said harvey with a comical nflectation of modesty


go along for a coxcomb


cripd tho old man


so tho jades in philadelphia iiavaall kissed him


dd helen kiss him


jsabel


f


tour pardoo ule said she


witfi a smile do not fancy tho ladies do these


things its only tho feminino rabble


what


what ejaculated tho ld man taking oft his glasses and wiping thom with n puttied air as though he doubted his tart and andedilia spectacles were at tho bottom of it


in that casol would recommend mrs gray to ranko hor husband pass qua ran ti


no on his re turn laughed harvey


xadies resumed isabel are or ought to distinguished by a delicacy of character which should forbid their crowding to a public placo to solicit a sal ii to from a strmgo man


but he ls not a strange man nieco ho is identified with their countrys history


he has been known to thom through his nets ever sinco they knew anything


ho is famous


why hps darvoy of tho wost


tho old doctor was quito excited with his favorito subject


i dont perceive that his famo furnishes any pretext said isnbeu ladios at best aro not very competont judges of public affairs or pub lic men ifhowever they entertain opinions or preferencesthey aro at liberty to oxpros them among their friends but i doubt tho propriety of any publio manifestation on tho part of tho ladies


but harvey gray


such a man as harvey gray persisted tho doctor


my dear sir said isabel archly ns it is improper for ladies to vote it surely must bo equally so for thom to kiss public mon


i dont believo bolla would kiss general washington wore lie to appear i said ellen cloting her magaiino


not withoutsolieitation


certainly laughed lsabel


andif half of philadelphia woro to share the honour i think should decline


nonsense said tho old man testily i uko these manifestations theyro pntriotio taeyroumnhtheyro encouraging how a gmt man hes appreciated t lot him seo tho peoplo aro rot ungratefulthat ho has not la boured in vain


uncle if harvoy gray or general washing toncould suoh a thing boshould visit anna dale would you or harvey join tho shouting multitude in unharnessing his horses nnd draw ing his carriage in their stead t no certainly i thnt would bo unworthy tho dignity of manhood responded tho doctor quickly


and this kissing business is unworthy tho delicacy of womanhood t


there unole is a boland for your oliver s it not so j what a confounded prude


cturrsrt ii


bho t a prado as papa says s dont you think so harvey p inquired kato of hor bro ther when tho group disperaod to dross for inner


sho does well to he so respondod tho latter a kiss from hr lips were enough to drive a nunmad v as helen says she would not kiss gonoral washington


sho hall kiss a fur humbler porsonnge nevertheless said hnrvey with a sauoy air


meaning yourself mr imporcincnco p bradly so


pshaw


shell do no such thing i i lt bet yon a diamond ring thnt within a month harvoy hetherington bnoholor will bo thai favoured


u i uko the wager brother mino lnufihod kte and dovoutly pray that you may lou wh kiss nnd ring but what shall ba my stake kiss


heaven forbid i you smothor me lroadyl tu it shall bo and tho atako will provo nn in eenure


he inid his hand upon a dolicnto gold tn around her neck ns ho spoke and trow


wy its rosting pince a finely oxecutod mlula iwof the boautiful cousin


mjdou


hnow harvey nald kate with ho liution should not like to part with my pteture of cousin isabella


but what nonsense jon win novcr


wlt


and i may tfojf


rk lti remember harvey no lovemaking or popping of tho question or any such iniquitous oxlees


it must bo you harvoy llothorfngton th our v ttmain wh obtinb l nl hkoly said harvey that n per oa of my humble proton lions ahoujd ovar aspiro to the hand of a woman of isabellas beauty and fortuno


thank heaven


my pride is equal to her own and although i may be a disappointed nnd unhappy man i will never bo a despised and rejected one


he paused and gazed on tho pictnro in his hind and pressing it to his lips added less bitterly may tho fates grant mo the like from tho original and this fair semblance will be mino


kate watched with some anxiety for tho ac complishment of her brothers design but os day after day glided away she feltnioro and moro scoure


she knew that harvey was too much of a gentleman to think of snatching tho prizo from unwilling lips indeed he durst not the dignity of isabels character would have repelled such an intrusion


t harvey himself wasalso at a loss his


hither to unfailing insenitjfvatfnuit and while liq h would havo had sroalfivdinlcnlty with lesser bellos ho knew not how to approach his queenly cousin


poor harvey


reckless niischiovous merry madcap as ho was had a strong undercurrent of romaneo in his nature which swayed him powerfully on this occasion


ile loved isabel to dostrnction


i my to destraction becauso he loved without hope


her immenso fortune to a man of his humble means and sonsitivo honour precluded nil advances while her haughty bear ing of itself sufficed to keep even bolder lovers nt bay


no


isabol never could bo his


but one kiss to dream upon one kiss to be remem bered through life ono kiss in which to say fare well to happiness and so on and so forth thought harvey


isabels visit to her country cousins was draw ing to a close when harvey in despair invited her to ride determined thnt somegood should como of it tho day was magnificent and as they cantered over tho road with tho invigo rating morning breezo on their brows isabel in tho excitement of tho pleasure seemed less calm nnd cold whilo havvey felt emboldened to accomplish what ho had so much at heart


thero is a beautiful view at tho end of this lane which you must soo before you leave us said ho and turning their horses heeds they entered tho unfrequented nvonuo


now thought tho lover and he turned to gnzo upon tho lady nt his side but as ho did so his heart sank within him


she had never looked half so commandingly ns now when seated upon her noble steed nnd undulating gracefully to bis motions


her mag niflccnt figuro wns displayed to tho greatest ad vantage by a ridingdress fitting tightly to the person tho skirt hanging in rich voluminous folds from the waist foll nearly to thc horsos fetlock a small black cap rested on her brow like a coronet from which floated a single plume


she cnn never bo mino said harvey men tally and ho thought of the child who cried for tho moon


however his courage rallied and he spoke


isabel


cousin hnrvey


cousin isabel our mothers were sisters inmates of the samo homotender loving sis ters were they not


indeed they were said sho with a sigh nnd hnrvoy emboldened laid his hand on tho pommel of her snddlo in a familiar way


sho gavo her horse a tap with her whip which caused tho spirited animal to spring from th patti tho movement was so sud don that it toro the checkrein ho hold fronvuarvcyb care less grasp


no matter said isabel as ho strovo to regain it i do not care tobe in loading strings and sho wound lt around tho horn of her saddle


tos our mothers were dovotodly attached aistersjjmfcjesumcd harvey after this interrupt tiou ibwould it not impart joy to their spirits in heaven could they look down nnd seo that their children loved each other


oh ah


i meanin a cousinly way


tho strongest illustration of tho power of iovo is tho facility with which it transforms a sensihlo man into a fool


again in his ear nestness tho encroaching hand was laid upon tho saddle


cousin harvey said she with mild deci sion looking him full in tho face whilo sho raised her whip over tho offending hand how aimil i succeed in making you understand that mil is contraband hero


what n confounded prude


ejaculated tho young man as tho old ono had done


citaptsn


iii


finding his meditated appeal to her cousinly affections frustrated harvey hadvnite made up his mind to loso tho kiss the miniature and tho ring whon tho fates kindly carno to his aid with n small incidont of their own


ono afternoon tho stagcconch rolled up to tho door containing fanny katos expected friend


harvey hastened to assist her in alight ing when n shaggy dog barking and springing with impatience attempted to lojlp through tho conch door which was opened to allow tho lady egress


harvoy pushed him aside two or threo times but tho dog was pertinacious when tho gentleman solidi him by tho ears with ono hand and held him back whilo with tho other he as sisted tho lady to alight


to this it is not to be supposed tho dog submitted quietly bnt after violent struggles roleosing himsolf inflicted n overo wound on tho restraining hand


this was so painful that hnrvoy carried his hand in a sling for days upon which tho ladios rallied him with great glee


ono day they wore all chatting morrlly to gothor when harvoy cntored with a slow sad step nnd throwing himself on a scat regarded them with nn air of profound sorrow


they were so occupied with their own conversation thnt no ono noticed him saro isabel who felt a vaguo terror at her heart as sho observed his altorod looks


r


cousin harvoy what is the matter


sho in quired hastily


i am going to leave yon girls said ho in reply and have come to bid you farewell leave us eohood they all


how long will you be


gone domandod knto


i cannot tell said ho slowly and ovory word sormed a pang but for a long long timeperhaps nnd his volco grow moro mournful for over


can this bo tho laughterloving jestmaking spirited harvoy thought isabel as she looked in his fnco now palo and haggard and listoned to lils melancholy words tlioy were all terrified and importunate for an explanation


well then listen


said ho taking his sis ters hands in his knto ellon not like wo mon now nnd boar what i havo to tell yon firmly they have just killed a dog in tho village said to be mad and i have every reason to be


lievo


it was tho same that infliotod this wouud pointing to his hand


hush for hoavons sake bo cnlm my sisters they had burst into tears and were dinging to his bide with tho most violent demonstrations of grief


isabel sank on the sofa and buried her face in its cushions whilo fanny stood in silent stupefaction


hosoothod his torriflod listersas well as ho was ablo nnd when they grow moro cnlmho continued if as i fear ho seeds of this fear ful disease havo been for days in my system tho sooner i leave you tho better i will not tiny nnd ondangor your prociou live shall travel to tho chospital whorothe meant of re straint ns well ns professors who understand the disease will be nt hnnd and mir i will abldo tho issue romorabor moandpray forme girls and


now goodbye


ho embraced eaoh of his listers tondorly and roslgnod thom weeping toeaoh others nrms fanny faronell


ho oontlnutjdiadtohojob to warda tho fair guest and kissinghor paler cheek


isabel will you not bid mo


cardwell


tho horrorstricken girl raisedher blanched conntenanco to her lover whotondorly pressed


his lips to her oheek


x s harvey dear harvey


i she criedfinvokev mont and passionate forgetfulness yojf aaw not go


i will not let you leavo us wowill nurse youwo will care for youwe ill moet all risks for your sake


oh heavens


can wo aban


don you in this awful hour p her arms wore wound around his neck with convulsivo clasp while tho haughty isabel sob bed wildly on his bosom


i leavoyou


nevermy beautiful bclovod ho whispered hush


therobe calmthere is yet roorafor hopo


itjftqdor what a confounded prude


f


i t is hardly necessary to add that the dog which tho village boys victimised was no more mad than you aro indeed i sometimos think it quito dobntabe whother a dog was killed at all


for fanny tells me sho met harveys old enemy in tho vilago yesterday


for tho honor of hu manity i hope young hetherington believed tho horrible talo when ho related it to his poor sis ters


kate however has her suspicions


j


a new series


the mysteries of sydney or the revelations of sin shame and sorrow


chapter


v


the police officethe secret bureauthe open court


in a commodious apartment at the back por tion of that extensive but anomalous building the police office a gentleman was seated poring intently over a huge volume resembling those which are used in the counting houses of mer chants


his age might have verged upon forty but his florid complexion and bright eye linked with a certain quick and smart manner savour ing of the military man gave him the appearance of being several years short of that number


he made a few occasional notes in the margin of the work as he proceeded in his perusal which was continued for a considerable time


at last he gave a sudden start and exclaimingha


this must be looked to touched a small bell which was lying beside him


an official clad in that peculiar uniform worn by policemen promptly attended the summons


send mawler in was the order given in a curt and peremptory tone


immediately sir yes


he is not about the office sir


find him


the man retired and the high official so chary of words for it was no less a man than the superintendent of police once more returned to his avocations


scarcely had ten minutes elapsed when the person in request made his entrance and respectfully saluted his superior


have you gained any further information of the forged notes


i have discovered a clue sir which i think will lead to the nest


forky jem has returned to sydney


ha wait


the superintendent then re ferred to his ledger and read hastily


james nailer alias forky jem alias jem the cracks man one of the most skilful burglars of the day


transported for life for a bank robbery


born in manchester in


height feet inches scar left cheek right arm marked hope and anchor dear bet lf you loves i as i loves you no chiv shall cut our loves in two


left armhearts and darts vermilion colour true lovers knot gallows man hanging un derneath sarved him right for bein cotched


pardon granted to him in van diemens land for saving the lives of a commissariat officer his wife and two small children under most dangerous circumstances


in sydney left under suspicion of being concerned in exten sive forgeries went to california escaped the vigilance committee returned to port phillip successful at mount alexander diggings sup posed to have been concerned in a heavy gold robbery there and said the superintendent to mawler returned to sydney when did you say last week by the skimmer brig


good


he then made the necessary addition to the chronicles of forky jems career and little did that exemplary personage consider that his steps had been tracked from clime to clime from place to place by the sleepless eye of the myrmidons of the law


crime with all its cunning is like the bird of the desert which hides its head in the sand and fancies that thereby its body is con cealed from the pursuers


go on with your story mawler resumed the superintendent


disguised like a digger with false beard and moustaches i was standing by the chemists shop in pittstreet when forky jem came up and after looking whether the coast was clear or not went in


and you followed him mawler


not till he was served sir


ha he bought some acid used in erasing printed or written letters


precisely sir


he went next towards marketstreet


yes sir replied the somewhat astonished detective at finding his intended information forestalled


he spoke to mr hawk kitely


only for a moment sir


i know it and they will meet to morrow


not as i know of sir


no you were not near enough to hear the appointment made


where did forky jem sleep mawler


in clarencestreet at a house of ill fame kept by a woman known as black bet


ha


there are some detached premises to which there is a back entrance if i mistake not mawler


overlooked by a house in the adjoining street now empty yes sir


find out the landlord and hire it


you know your business too well to require instruc tions how to accomplish this undiscovered


take it and mark mawler let black bets place be watched as narrowly as a cat does a mouse hole


there is much depending on it


how are the men of our force affected


why sir they are grumbling a good deal about the low pay and half of them mean to strike


ha muttered the superintendent to him self it is little enough in all conscience my most efficient men are driven off the well manu factured article is badly supplied by the raw material strength has given way to weakness and this at a time when heavy masses of reck lessness and crime are pouring into the colony like swarms of locusts to devour its flourishing vegetation


governmentthe public will rue this niggardliness perhaps when too late


he was so deeply plunged in thought as for the mo ment to forget the presence of mawler who was too old a soldier to interrupt the current of his dread superiors ruminations


suddenly raising his eyes he perceived the detective standing before him as fixed and immovable us a bronze statue


ha mawler um


anything else to commu nicate


yes sir mr hawk kitely is down on the police sheet for an assault committed on mr whiffle chatter at the victoria theatre


i heard of it


you can go mawler be wary and vigilant


mawler departed the superintendent made two or three memoranda in the record book of crime he then closed it and placed it in an iron chest which he carefully locked to prevent the eye of curiosity from viewing its contents and doing aught to mar schemes well planned to stop guilt in its mad career and visit the fearful con sequences on its head


mr whiffle chatter smarting under his wrongs that is under the stinging effects of the severe but wellmerited chastisement inflicted upon him by kitely determined to seek his re medy at law


his irritation was materially in creased by jack stunners criticisms upon kitelys work which he declared was one of the finest that had ever issued from the press and he suggested the publication of another edition bound in calf skin instanter


chatter commu nicated his intentions to stunner by placing a subpna in his hand requiring his presence at the court to give such evidence as he could upon the matter


jacks only reply to the mandate was very good if the gods do so will it were vain to say no


but youll meet a sure spill when i cry tallyho


kitely was highly pleased at the turn affairs had taken as it gave him a greater hold upon frank and his sister


he stood in the light of a defender and this coupled with his apparently sincere and kindly manner completely thawed the reserve of frank and in some degree di minished the frigidity of fanny towards him


he had sapped the foundations of the castle of de fiance the mine was charged and he stood ready torch in hand waiting the auspicious mo ment for touching the train


so effectually had kitely succeeded in removing any unfavorable impression against him from the mind of frank that the latter had consented to accept employ ment at his hands for which he was awarded a wage sufficiently liberal to raise gratitude with out creating suspicion


mrs osqueeze and her daughter were only minor characters in the drama but these were not neglected by the wily man who saw in them ready made puppets the wires of which might some day be advantageously pulled


kitely delicately declined fannys offer to give her testimony in the approaching legal contest alleging as a reason the absurdity of the whole affair and his extreme unwillingness to subject her to so disagreeable an ordeal


mrs osqueeze however insisted upon making her appearance at court and katie in a fit of heroics also claimed the right of presentation


thus stood matters on the day set apart for hearing the great case of chatter versus kitely and the parties proceeded to the police offlce at the appointed hour


there are few places where a more complete insight into human nature may be gained than in a policeoffice


heartlessness and simplicity knavery and follyriches and povertydeter mined vice and venial erroryouth and age are mixed up in one dark phialhuddled toge ther in one mass for the analysis of the philo sopher


the scene is a sad one but even as the most bitter medicaments have the most sanatory effects so the painful sight warns us of the precipices which beset the path of life and over which one false step may plunge us into the abyss of destructionto be lostirreme diably lost


the presiding magistrate of the day was mr parlours


he was a little brown complexioned man with a certain fldgetty air about him be speaking irresolution and that peculiar feeling which is related of the flies in amber who wondered how the dickens they got there


he was extremely attentive to the duties of his office no jp could be more so and by dint of hard reading that is to say by burning the midnight oil and repeating it as grace before and after meals had succeeded in mastering the mysteries of the vagrant act the clauses of which he conceived to be a panacea for all the ills engendered by vice folly extravagance or eccentricity


in fact one was led to believe that mr parlours had swallowed the vagrant act and was continually struggling to digest it


he was a very good hearted man and his homi lies to drunkards conceived in a most christian and praiseworthy spirit were delivered with an impressiveness unsurpassed by any pulpit ora tory


their edification was somewhat question able for although a few converts were found amongst his flock yet truth compels it to be recorded that the majority after performing penance for their sins returned to receive simi lar pastoral injunctions to abjure fire water for hot water flavored with twankey hyson skin or gunpowder


lt was also remarked by some thoughtless people that parlours ser mons took up rather too much time but as they were of that avaricious class who look upon time as money very little heed was paid to their opinionsleast of all by mr parlours


he had a duty to perform and he did it most conscien tiously and without hope of fee or reward


lt would require the lantern of diogenes and all the bulleyes of the police to discover a more meritorious and unselfish magistrate


the table assigned for the professional gen tlemen was fully occupied by the highest foren sic talent some of which was engaged in chat ters case


for instance mr boreys eminent services were retained for the prosecution while mr fattishort consented to conduct the defence


as these two gentlemen were daily attendants of the police court from the sitting down to the rising up thereof it might be fairly inferred that their bank books contained a con siderable balance of funds in exchange for value received in their favor such indeed ought to have been the case but they were philan thropic the john howards of the profession and while borey would volunteer his aid to ex tricate the police from perilous predicaments fattishort was equally prompt to sacrifice him self in the cause of suffering innocence and it frequently happened that the philippics of borey were wafted away by the mild and melli fluous airs of fattishort


they were both great menverybut like all true greatness were unaware of the fact


in personal appearance a vast dissimilarity existed borey was light framed well thatched voluminously whiskered and ruddy fattishort was tubby flabby and scantily furnished about the headthat is with respect to hair


he was not an esau although a mess of turtle soup was by no means unap preciated by him


both were ready to act the part of amicus curi when the court did not require advice but when assistance was needed the court like the hare with many friends found itself left in the lurch


after disposing of a large quantity of ques tionable matters the word was given to call on the chatter affair and whiffle immediately ad vanced into the box with the air of a man suf fering under considerable personal indignity which his naturally proud spirit could not brook


the policeman appointed to administer the oath having requested mr chatter to remove his primrose kid that gentleman objected on the ground that it was extremely detrimental to gloves of that fine quality as they were liable to split during the process


mr fattishort thereupon arose and addressed the court


i beg to call your worships attention to the hesitation of the complainant in removing his glove as proving most distinctly more com pletely more fully more unequivocally than any words of mine can prove that the cause of his dissent to the long established practice arises from the fact that he does not come into court with clean hands


lt is somewhat singular your worship re plied mr borey twitching his nose at the same time with those convulsive movements which galvano elicited from the frog that my learned friend with his weight should attempt to jump at anything but he has clearly jumped to a conclusion which is not founded in law


the fact is he wishes to get my client under the thumb by making him assume the two widely different positions of splitter and splittee at the same time which is impossible


i have a case in glovers reports which will bear me out your worship responded mr fat tishort and compel my learned friend to yield me the palm


hand it up to the court said mr par lours


if your worship will be good enough to post pone the case sine die i shall be able to find it


take your time miss lucy hummed jack stunner sotto voce in the back ground


i object to that your worship thundered out mr borey my learned friend might keep us here for all eternity and that as you well know is a dies non


oh come to me me when daylight sets hummed jack again


ls there any particular clause in the vag rant act which affects the point upon which i can put my finger enquired mr parlours


no your worship the persons embraced in that act seldom wear gloves responded mr fattishort sympathizingly


my friend mr tickles who is engaged at present in the supreme court has argued the point there successfully and his honor the late chief justice bowline held that the taking off a glove except for the purpose of challeng ing a jury was quite unnecessary said mr borey scornfully


the gallant knight throwed down his glove and pick it up sayd he and through your breastplate this here lance all runned soon shall be shall be all runned soon shall shall be


was the running accompaniment of the delighted stunner


less noise in court there turn out that child roared the chief inspector


let the witness be sworn gloved i can not dispute mr boreys authorities remarked mr parlours


he has taken his glove off sir suggested the administrator of the oath


it appears then that the discussion was needless said mr parlours


precisely echoed tho two advocates


the witness was then sworn upon which mr borey again rose to apologise for not having addressed the court but requesting its kind permission to allow him to say a few words


this being conceded he settled his hair and whiskers and proceeded with his declama tion


in the whole course of my professional ex perience which has extended from pitt and castlereaghstreets to the supreme court into the court of requests and to this court i never met with so harrowing so distressing so villainous a case as the one which i have now the honor of conducting


there are two dis tinct and separate charges against the de fendant i beg my learned friends pardon for the in terruption but he is bound to say upon which charge he means to go said mr fattishort


toss for choice its an equal event said jack pianissimo in order not to offend the court


i object to this interruption said mr borey angrilyi have the ear of the court


pull away pull away yo boys yo was stunners passing memorandum


you had better call your witnesses mr dorey insinuated mr parlours rather worn out by the frequent appeals of the combatants


mr borey adopted the suggestion and ex tracted the horsewhipping facts from the gall bag of mr whiffle chatter who laid on his evi dence pretty thickly


jack stunner was then placed in the box and was hand in glove with the book in a moment


mr borey having con sulted with his client ascertained that the wit ness was an unwilling one he therefore con ducted his examination upon the most approved principles of the bounceandbully school


what is your name sir asked he impos ingly


my name it is john stunner and england is my nation sydney is my dwelling place and that will do sir we dont want all your pedigree


give it in a moment got by norman knight out of saxon queen own brother to aristocracy sister lady of honour vide first fly leaf in family bible


oh a fast man i see


not at all slow as a top until whipped up by a spoon


mr borey turned very red and pretended to consult the inkstand on the table and his client to recover self possession


have you done with me enquired jack


no sir stunner your name is stunner i think


now sir on your oath did you never bear any other name sir


mind on your oath sir


oh


yes


i was called flybynight


indeed


and why sir i dont inow replied jack naively un less it was because i was a capital bat


mr borey rubicundized and ruminated again jacks last hit occasioned a long stop


youre a wag i imagine sir


ohyeesthey used to term me the wa terwagtail when i was yachting


and why sir because i never allowed em to put salt upon my tail for a catch i suppose was jacks innocent response


mr borey once more referred to his client for instructions


well sir perhaps you will tell us all you know about the matter in question


did you see the horsewhipping performance


only the windup whalebone well ap plied chatter out of condition couldnt save his distance


and your opinion is that of the welsh jury sarved him right


have you any other observation to make sir


only one


mr kitely got the whip hand of mr chatter


you can go down sir


down down down derry down hummed the incorrigible witness as he attached the name of john stunner to the deposition aforesaid as the lawyers say


thats my case your worship said mr borey sitting down somewhat disconsolately


i submit your worship that there is no case at all against my client


mr borey has proved next to nothing or nothing or worse than no thing his own witness a most highly respec table one i may say a highborn one has di stinctly asserted that the light corporal punish ment said to have been received at the hands of my client i say said because i do not ad mit it was brought entirely upon his own back by the insults which he gave to three iadies in timate friends of my client


nay the com plainant even went so far as to take one of the ladies forcibly by the arm which as your wor ship is aware constitutes an assault


what section of the vagrant act is that mr fattishort enquired mr parlours


lts the rogue and vagabond clause your worship


oh ah


i see replied mrs parlours rub bing his glasses and elevating them to his eyes


from one week up to two years


an admi rable clause discretional and powerful


call your witnesses


if your worship thinks it necessary sug gested mr fattishort deprecatingly


i never think on the bench replied mr parlours particularly in cases where ladies are concerned


do you ever think of me love do you never think of me was jacks annotation which he was pleased to term a littleun in


they are here but i will not occupy the time of the court said mr fattishort em phatically


dont study memy time belongs to the public replied mr parlours patriotically


i leave the case in your worships hands


very good


having heard all the evidence adduced on both sides i am of opinion that the alleged assault has been fully established on the one hand but on the other hand a previous assault not proved evidently takes precedence of the subsequent one which is


the sentence of the court is that mr whiffle chatter be con fined in her majestys gaol for the period of


but your worship he is the complainant in this case cried mr borey hastily


dont interrupt the court mr borey he is or ought to be the defendant in a previous as sault


but i submit your worship i trust you will mr borey while i render what is due to the dignity of the profession


i trust that the profession will be equally just to the court


allow me to suggest as amicus curi said mr bobbits another legal gentleman that this case be dismissed


i had rather send both parties to trial mr bobbits


but the habeas corpus would apply your worship


i dont see mention of it in the vagrant act


oh no vagrants are nobodies conse quently the habeas corpus cant apply to them


i merely spoke your worship as amicus curi and i presume i know it mr bobbits leave it off yours is a bad practice the court however pardons your presumption and avails itself of your sug gestion


we dismiss this case


the destruction of mr whiffle chatters hopes was hailed with intense satisfaction by the osqueeze family the worthy matron however felt a slight shade of discontent at being denied the opportunity of giving the offending dandy a word of a sort


and had she ascended the rostrum there is little doubt but that the con joint influence of muckanmuddy and turfan blazes would have tipped her tongue and ma terially affected mr chatters sensitive nerves


the whole party including jack stunner whose candour won considerable esteem left the po liceoffice from which mr chatter had previ ously sneaked in the must inglorious manner


thus did kitely without cost gain another step on the ladder of hope


to be continued


the stoiiy of the campaign


written in a tent from the crimea


from slaekaooift magazine


the stout of the campaign pabt


chatieb


xv


oibctrmspectite


during the lull in the operations a glance at our present situation and tho successive btages which led to it may not be out of place


we find oursehes after two great battles and some minor actions in possession of a position which itself of great natural strength has beou so for unea as co uq airnusb iiiipicguauir


iu by an army sufficiently strong to occupy it throughout its extent


the allied works are pushed close to tboso protecting the tonii and reinforcements reach us con stantly while the garrison of sebastopol and the llusbinn army outside must be suf fering great privations and their expen diture of men nnd material cannot bo re placed


so far tho advantage would seem to be with us


but tho sufferings of our troops ex posed to tho rigour of wiuter without clothing or shelter sufficient to resist it had when published from a hundred sources excited universal sympathy


as soon as the change of temperature checked the ravages of cholera the vret set in bringing a new train of diseases


horrible cramps resembling those of the epidemic but accompanied by different symptoms and excited by other causes seieed num uers of those exposed sometimes for nights in succession to the duty of guarding the trenches


in their ragged garments and with their feet almost bare they paced the wet mud or wrnpt ia a single blanket iny in boles which they dug ill tho reverse ol the batteries and lines shivering the live long night


when relieved they crept back rigid with cold to the bteasliolfcgc of tho tentp


oa thetrobpsiieiipjyjirrive from england these unaccttrtomeyiar ships fell with doutebejwfejndrjtli died iunwihing numbers wliilo the endii iiee dftujslfe seasoned by the previous ciunpaign wino tried to tast utp me ic in jklten camp wqnpmrisd at baiakiava and scutari or ttsvihidepipo euglnnd tho sick returns showed ijtlijk astounding number of ineninenee tivc iu the british army


the force thus cftkenod was by no means replenished bythojreinfircemonts which arrived from england and the medi terranean garrisons and in consequence tho duties of those who remained effective were increased in severity


the trenches must be held at any price and the same guards sometimes manned them for three successive nights


to feed the army it was necessary to bring provisions daily from balnklava the labour of the siege had been such that up to the end of december our means o trans port had never permitted us ip accmnufnte one days provisions in advance day after day accordingly saw men nnd horses enfeebled by hardship traversing the roads clogged by mire and enow io and from baiakiava


strings of soldiers might be met carrying pieces of raw pork rttd often these provisioncarriers uutil late iu the afternoon did not break their fabt


the cavalry brought up their forage on their horses the artillery theirs on strift ammuuitionwaggons and danders waggons


a horse carried a truss of hny weighing from lbs


to lbs or r seek of corn n waggon took five or bis trusses and required ten horses to draw it thus loaded and these starling from the camp soon after daylight seldom returned till late ia the afternoon


hows of wag gons and of cavalry horses waited men and animals up to their knees in mud till their turn for loading came he rule being that only one boatload of forage should be disembarked at a time as ery few commissariat clerks could be spared to superintend the issue


it occasionally happened that the men of some of the divisions were for a day sometimes two without tho ration of moat and rum having only biscuit and uu roasted coffee while half allowance was by no means uncommon


now if the reader will visit in the coldest days of euglibli wiuter tho poor est fumily in his neighbourhood whose food is just sufficient to sustain existence who never getting coals except in clurity


search the neighbouring commons and hedges for furze and sticks wherewith to cook their tneagro meals who lie down hungry and cold at night on a pallet to shiver till cheerless morning and will then remember that to all those privntions were added want of shelter from drench ing rain and sleet and frcst ho will be able to realise the condition of the troops in front of sebastopol after the end of october


these facts once known in englaud excited sympathy entirely unbounded and with the supplies sent to our relief the public poured forth indignant questions as to lioiv our straits had arisen


why had the expedition been delayed till bj late in the season


when so long delayed why was it attempted f why had provisions not been made for a wiuter campaign p why was our force not more commensurate with the difficulty of the proposed achieve ment


it is evident that so long as silistria was likely to fall that is till july the most important object was to cheek the progress of the hitherto successful invader towards the turkish capital


soon itfter the bussiaus bad retired across the danube and before the propa rations necessary for assuming the offen sive in this new aspect of affairs could possibly he completed the cholera broke out


but the english public through the press were clamorous for immediate action


taunts an the inactivity of the forces pictures of the success which awaited bold and sudden mea sures invidious comparisons between such generals as were supposed to be in favour of delay and thoac eager for enterprise depre ciating cstinntcs of the enemys resources cud exaggerated statements of our own these fotmed the staple of the articles of the public journals and to thebo woc added fre quent fake reports tbst lbe enterprise so in sisted on was jready commenced stldom ha the british pubiic been more clamorous for any one thing than for the expedition to the crimea


tiiub urged the allied army enfeebled by sickness which continued to pnrsue it com pleted in all haste tho riost necessary prepa rations and sailed to invade a country con cerning whiaii for all pi


poses of war a re markable degree of ignorance prevailed


travellers who had hastily traversed these legions sudden y found the doicb and obser vation made lor their own amusement or profit become information of the first iinpor taucc


a rcfoiinojssancc of tho coast had enabled us to select a suitable spot for the landing but had left us as completely in the dark as to tho obstacles interposed between us and oar object as were jason and his com panions when they sailed iu search of the golden fleece


the maps showed us three rivers between the point so cctcil for landing and tho city aimed tit any or ail of which might be strongly guarded tho numbers and resources of tho defenders or tho soil could be only guessed at j and the city was surrounded by fortifications of llie nature and etrcngth of which no certain intelligence existed


landing unopposed wo overthrew be enemy at the alma when euoh a shout of triumph atone in frauco and england that the mere reverberations were mistaken for fresh pteais of victory and on tho ji of ortober the men in front of sobaatopol read what seemed to them the bttcr mockery of iie reported fall


it is not cosy to suppose that tho tohnflcnt anticipations thusrifo at home of the encody accomplishment of the enterprise ahouldiave been without effect on the efforts made to pro storatiessupfbrolieriiiddie of


novembor to ifljnwyflfwaiflipijt tiling arrived which un jijrmwwfpsntntse steamer prince


saftriapplifwuoyin


whmded and l grekior


piifi wlioavv hwevorrggunod


witbthimntfs flaaporahlrtsornevvgbtlica till jairaryvwbeu jhssp artictos bjten ta arrive ina urqfusioninito bevooil oiujijtooans fwnsnwwwhiktllrstiriadeciuasb tho wants i wf mlsftw ifl dimmisliajhf very bsefi netrareojbg remarks awn soni ijjiraisluiftory of why the enterprise had bfentdllalea


tyliy it had taken place and why belter provision was not made for a win ter campaign i now come to the other ques tion as to the inailcjuoey of the expedition to accomplish its ends


experioncadaily strengthened the conviction that the radical deficiency to be lamented in the british ainy was in the means of trans port it was in vain that supplies were landed at baiakiava while no meuiam of conveyance existed from thence to the already overtaxed troops in tho camp


the baggage animals originally left behind at varua liad been brought to balakkva but tho losses among them were so numerous and constant that sufficient horset ponies and mules did not remain to bring up tho neces sary provisions and supplies of ammunition


thus it happened that we had the mortifica tion of seeing ships lying in tho harbour at baiakiava containing clothing to warm and huts to shelter the suffering troops yet of no more avail for want of means to transport them than if they had been thousand miles off


it is an old complaint that british troops in


the field in europe have been always deficient in means of transport and never was the faujt more apparent or more severely felt than in the campaign in the crimea


light capacious carriages drawn by strong wellfed animals and driven by persons in whom thero wob no necessity for demanding the same physical requisites ns in soldiers would have been in valuable


tho troops would have been regu larly supplied clothed and housed and a great number set free to lighten tho military labours of the siege guns would have re placed those disabled in the batteries and ammunition would have been accumulated in sufficient quantity for a sustained attack


the efforts mods to supply the constant drain of the iinghsh army left gibraltar malta corfu and the british isles denuded of troops


as efficient soldiers cannot be raised at short notice it seems that the want of men now felt was altogether owing to tho small number of troops which the national jealousy of a military force allowed to be kept on a peace culabmimcnt


the army in all its branches of cavalry infantry artillery and medical staff being systematically kept down to the very lowest point consistent with afford ing the appearance of garrisons to our colo nies and fortified places at homo and abroad while bfiragc and hospital trains arc abso lutely unknown must of course be always found insufficient and its arrangements defec tive in a first campaign against a powerful enemy


doubtless to the british people proud of tho achievements and deeply moved by the privations of their army it appeared impossible that they were themselves the huthors of the disasters they deplored


yet how long is it since oracles ho proclaimed tho impossibility of future european wars and denounced our army as a useless and expensive encumbrance commanded attention and ap plause


how long is it since the officer now held up to the world as heroes were considered fair targets for daily slanders and abuse while the public looked on applauding aud amused


and when did any minister charged with lbe office of seeing that the nation got present substantial returns for its expenditure ven ture to propose an augmentation of tlio forces now proved to be inadequate in all except what the public cannot bestow to maintain those interests which have so long engrossed the energies of our thriving people p to be continued


j


thc book of the election vr second non ni rm eiuiexicus ok imiostkus


cnrri


i


now rnrvcsennory begat broddie atv


brod oie besot foresttt itid


forester begat hiown and brown bomi thurlow and thurlow bog


mnt


mid omit hogit wilshire and wilsliiri tysl h vitrahoad and llylrahenl begat nnl finnie and multitude begat belial ard


relia begat lang ho hrsrat grandsons of belial


and they were many


and it carno to pass that lang tho jon o ucliul raised np iii voice aud said let mi number my oije


and the propio rm numbered and parkes cattery pave np tho sum of the number of iii people tinto lang and thorn wire ten to drn tiamnges like unto beasts of snrdn


and en t cheer thitii on


and five valiant fibrin mei hat drow the long bow and boastd much i


what they would do


now when i ana heard tint tho people wen numbered aecordin t thir quality md th ninnllnes of tlwtr numbers iii bonn failed him od b mid irive put my foot into it


am he cried in a loud voro to larkeaennery de liver me on nf my mes


and parkcsennery answered and aid it ii too


late you mnt co thronch with it


and lana tlie of ltolial seeing there wa ao hope lamented i


surely


thin tho ten like unto beasts of burdon erie ont unto lang


kater into thy chariot an i wi will draw thee and he answered them in groat trimilatioi itud said


no let nut my chosen people si humble themselves in the mud


and m ike them elves like unto unclean beauts for their way arisdiriy


then a loud shout arose from tho obosei ones and they cried


tins touvt not lo wi arv uso io tho mire and we will iras thee ti thc street of jamison where thou dwelled am then thou shalt give us tickling sprech then the ten put themselves into harness nm they dragged the chariot of lang to the hoares inircheap


and there they left it fir they wen tirjil


and n man wondered at tho same and tba lite chosen poople left him in the slouch


then ling the son of llena called lint stubbs the on of liarktifvrarrmge and mid what halt do


and stubbs drew near and said in a lom tone charter a cab


and lang said


surely thy advice is pood


will abide hy the same


and he abided by the sime and be ralle ut


in n loud voice abby the non of licence come hither


and abby the on of licence said iier i rn sint of it


thoa lani nwered anil said liarnos luy horses to my chariot fur lo


my asses havr lett it


and cabby bowed low and cried


yea


il thou rewardrst me


now the cabby knew not iang ese he would hate hail the reward first


and lang replied yea verily


fio cabby linincsed irs horses to the chariot f lang nnd delivered hint safely at hs home in tho street called jamison


but whether lang tho son of belial rewarded cabby tho son of licence as he had promised is not writton ia the book


iso endeth the first chapter of tho second book of the chronicles of impostors


clialtkit ii


vow t came to pa that certain mon toing the tribes ol allsorts and mixed pickles fathered together ami held a consultation and it was in this wive int is chosen member of the coun cil to our eruat antoniliment hut he i chosen and ne aro rejoiced at tho saino yet tho num lr of his majority is small andho hath not taken hts scat in tho high place


and the secret assembly cried xo he hath tiot for of a truth tho council hath not sat


int the day ilrawuth nigh and wo will have a demonstration


therefore let it bo bruited abroad throughout tho city that thoro shall ho an open air meeting the poople to mnko a demonstration nd meort jjng to the council chamber


and let notices bo printed by our cunning raen and let bail gammon ho placed thereon ami int all means bo devised to gather thc people together to malo the demonstration so that our enemies seeing our strength and hearing ur shouts shall wax faint and be sick at heart


arni let thc fivo tribes that is thc tribe of brickmakers and tho tribo nf stonemasons and jho tribo of plasterers and tho tribo of snobs nd tho tribo of sweeps havo duo notice of the ame so thatthoy may quit their work and lose their wagos nnd harass their employers nnd flitter our vanity by making a demonstration


and all this was dono as tho secret asjcmbly had devised


kow it oamo to pass that when the day ar


rived thero was n great meeting of thc five tribes


and tho members of tho aocrnt assem bly were thoro to head nnd to direct thom what to do


and tho loader of tho secret assembly lifted np his roteo and cried oh


flvo tribes would you do


and tho are trlbos answered nnd sail ns with ono volco anything you liko my little nsars


j


then the aecrot assembly consulted with each nthor


nnd said


this is gosd


then aroco a great nntery from a stranger in tho land who stood in tho midst of the five j tribes and ho called aloud saying my pucket has been picked


i and tho flvo tribes scoltod and laughed nt mm and put their fingori to their noses ns in dorision and said foolish man what could i you expect


so tho stranger in tho land hun


down his head and prayed that they would let him go


then tho flvo tribos said


yenlet him go ho hath not of anything moro to loso yealet him go arid the stranger in tho lond departed nnd


no no


know whither ho bout his way


or


o


irod


thou tho lender of tho secretassembly cried


men of tho flvo tribos hearken to my words pm thy host foot lorcmost mid follow jn our track to tho council chamber


anil linc tho step and the gardens anil the spiked walls nd hen lang the sunof medial comth thitherwardraise a loud shout and cry lang is tho man of the poople it is he only who can deliver usfrombur enemies


and peradventure he will deliver us a speech for he is a man of many words


then tile five tribes answered and said con i sider it done


now it carno to pass ilint milly the son of wentworth travelled that way


and when tho


flvo tribes saw him


they began to hiss and hom


nnd pit at him


for they looki d upon him ns their enemy because he bad mvor truckled to them or st is


von to mislead them


and milly the son of wentworth bent looks i of pity upon them and he pnssed into thc chant


ber to fight their battles and return good for evil


and when tnng


the son of belial drew near i tho secret assembly cried out to the fivo tribes i shout and they shouted accordingly


and thereat lmng bowedhirhood inr thanks nnd spoke


audio gavial hem words dipped in honev and they believed him for thev were foolish


and be


enid unto them


am the represen tative of ali the virtue and the honor and the truth and the honesty of the land for indepen dence lath departed from the house of the council


now i will go n and stir them up and i will throw firebrands amoiust them and i will


diitrict their councils for your sake


o my people therefore i say unto you let tue go in and do the good work


and the rive tiibos answered yea go in samson and pull thc chamber about thvir ear


and wvoii lie pacscd into the chamber tho shorted the more bit of a verity they knew not why


and all the city heard the shouting but they i new not way it arose


now it came topass that the councillors of


the chamber were gathered together and they heard the noises and the shouting and they said ceio to another surely this boiokoneth tho comme of lang the son of melial


let ll therefore fill all thu council seats but one and leave it for that min of braoj if lie hath the assurance to ibo himself herc


ami it was done


anti the councillors of the chamber also said


surely lhere is not among our body who will introduce him to the chamber surely nut one


mut it came to pass that nichol the kins man of mob ami myrnes tho brother of wil liam who dwelleth in parramatta pitied i in and creil


yea


we will introduce him


and so it happened


and somo men called out who i the sight inherc is a miracle who could have thought it


and milers said


there are wheels within wheels and the chosen


few only know how they turn


and thereat those who heard the wisc saying answered


it is so


mut they marvelled the moro and mourned cxeeedinuly


i


so endeth tho second mook of thc chronicles


of importers


ami tiie wise men of th city commanded tho


two


looks lo he clasped in strong clasps of brass and sealed with the seal of the city that i the same might never again he opened


so that tlie future generations of tho land might mn learn how their forefathers had erred and gone


atray


ami tho command of thc wise men were obeyed


cnjra iiait ivfrlj


an essay on humbug j


by a manchester man


from frassrs magazine for july


humbug


the word rings oddly we admit separate the syllables and it is pleasant neither in sound nor savour


and yet we have a weakness for the phrase


phrase call you it


asks the redfaced corporal


by this good day i will maintain the word with my sword to be a soldierlike word and a word of exceeding good com mand


is it not the monarch of the vocabulary for ex pressive meaning c is it not cue syraooi oi an enormous reality a great fat in life


unde derivatur


whence is it derived


can its genealogical descent be traced from that refuge for philological


destitutes the anglo saxon or is it the coinage of some modern mint


the word we maintain is of good lineage


we have an opaque recollection that its parent is to be found in one of the choruses of aristophanes but we have not time to search it out


only listen to notes and queries


we are there told on the authority of millers fly leaves that it is a corruption of the word hamburg


during a period when war prevailed on the continent so many false reports and lying bulletins were fabricated at hamburg that at length when any one would signify his disbelief of a statement he would say you had that from hamburg and thus that is hamburg or humbug became a common expression of incredulity


now who mr miller is we do not know but if we had him here we would steep his fly leaves in vinegar and stuff them down his throat for reducing so valuable a word to such an ignoble origin


we would do so even if he were the immortal joe himself


in the teeth of the notes and queries we have


a firm belief that the word has a good pedigree we arei confident that a term so expressive must have a gentle manlike extraction


surely a royal ancestry it owns aud mourns tho loss of palaces and thrones


its paternity may be lost in remote antiquity but we deny roundly that it is to be ranked with those phrases of modem invention which are the fungi of fustian and cotton twist of cog wheels and train oil and which came in with billy


rollers and spinning jennies


it was mr ferrand late mp for knaresborough who


enunciated tha universal proposition that the world was


one mighty humbug


this is a bold assertion daring and dashing as one of lord cardigans charges and spoken like a crafty yorksliireman


many no doubt will dis pute his major but come now kind reader in private


confidence between you and me is there not a mighty deal of humbug in the world notwithstanding


it penetrates and permeates everywhere like the air we breathe


if nature abhors a vacum this subtle essence is ready to


occupy any vacuity


it is allpervading


love says sir walter scott somewhere love tunes in peace tho shepherds rcecl in war be mounts the warriors steed


in halls in gay attire is seen


in hamlets dances on the green


j love rules tho coui t tho camp the grove we have a strong conviction that sir walter smeant


lvumbug


some philosophers take a delight in tracing the matural ihistory of a moral sentiment


is there no gentleman of analytic mind to investigate the natural history of the idea eipressed by this word


humbug we believe is the offspring of civilization and refinement


we are all hypocrites it was often said by the late charles icemble and the highest art is the greatest hypocrisy


humbug is scarcely compatible with a rude and primitive state of society


we should not have found it among the ancient britons s they roamed barelegged through their native i forests and munched their acorns in company with wild j boars


we should not discover it in the new zealander j as he knocks down his foe scalps and dines off him with out ceremony


nor shall we meet with it when men are v really in earnest even in a civilized age


there was no rjvbrig about nelson as he hoisted his last signal and laid the victory alongside the redoubtable


there was no humbug in the duke as he led his forces through many a liardfouglit campaign


would that the old man were yet alive


there have been scenes of late near sebastopol in which this material was but a trifling ingre dient


i hope englishmen you will fight well today said the marshal st arnaud as he rode along our lines with lord raglan before the battle of alma


hope


said a voice from the ranks and sure general you know we will


we think it very hard sir that having had all the work we should have none of the sport


was the remonstrance of the crew of the agamemnon to admiral lyons when a rumour had reached them that they were not to


go into action


in such expressions there is no versiflaqe


there is no humbug in a high landers charge there is no


humbug in a lancaster gun or a minie rifle


no humbug in its highest develop ment is the child of luxury


it is mostly of aristocratic or cottonocratic or some such other ocratic origin it is cradled on a couch of down and dandled by lady nurses its christening dinner is abundant in turtle venison and champagne it grows up under gilded ceilings it


walks in trim gardeus and in gay attire it uses holiday and lady terms when it begins to articukte it is sent in time to some genteel educational establishment it peradven ture goes through one


of our universities and if repre sented by one of the male species most probably develops in the end into a man of high professional standing or a member of parliament or a peer of this realm


but we have a philosophic subject in hand and we must needs treat it after a scholastic fashion


let us then according to the aristotelic mode look out for our defini tion


humbug may be laid down to be a species of deceit giving pleasure


humbugging said a bar rister on the northern circuit who was a plain likeness of a bulldog to a female witness and pray maam what do you mean by your humbugging


why sir was tho reply if i was to say you are a handsome man i should be humbugging you


if that is she had insin uated into his private ear that he was a goodlooking specimen of humanity it would have been a species of deceit giving pleasure


and adopting the stagyrites theory of moral sentiments let us assume that there are three species of humbug two extremes and a mean namely humbug that is useful humbug that is harmless and hum bug that is hurtful


first then there is a kind of humbug that is useful


are you startling at this assertion


it is true never theless


just step into exeter hall and see what is going on there


it is the month of may and there is a crowded meeting within the walls in aid of one of our home mis sions


listen the rev mealy mincetext is on his legs and addressing that large assembly


he is detailing his parochial experiences as the vicar of hardensharpliam


at this particular juncture he is giving an account of the marmp


in vtrliipli liia inrlnrj o wirlnur anrl civ to attend his church


he describes the widow as having seen better days and the children as pretty little dears but left somewhat in a state of nature


he goes into detail so far as to particularize a patch on one of the boys breeches


he recites the diaologue between himself and the widow in extenso emphasizing his strong points till at length when he reaches his climax and one of the little girls exclaims mammy let us go to churrh white handkerchiefs and delicate bosoms begin to flutter and subdued sobs are audible throughout the assembly


now the rev mealy


mincetext is a good man and a faithful pastor but we think he might bring up with him some two hundred miles from hardensharpham certain parochial statistics more of a measure with the human intellect


to us his matter and manner are equally humbug but mealy is acquainted with his audience and the effect of a claptrap he knows very well that he will get more money for the cause and applause for himself by sending round the widow and six children with their begging boxes than if he had appealed to the highest motives that can influ ence our nature


another day we enter the same building and we find that the proceedings of a great missionary meeting are going on


do not suppose that we agree in the saying of the celebrated mr anthony weller that the little niggers are little humbugs


we entertain no such senti ment we are zealous advocates of both home and foreign missions and if need be we can tolerate a little plausibility in the mode of urging their claims


but be still


a gentleman with an irish accent is speaking


he has just returned from hooluchoo


a capital fellow he is a broth of a boy brisk as a bee when he pleases and sedate as one of his hindoo crosslegged idols when it is convenient


he has the ladies laughing and he has them crying and he has them both at once


and yet if you analyse what the rev denis oflaherty is saying you will find that it is little better than moonshine


it is some trivial diaologue between himself and an old woman who had the reputation of a witch at hooluchoo