Thank you, thank you. Oh, thank you so much. Its great to be here hosting Saturday Night Live. I have wanted to host this show ever since I was a little kid. I stayed up past my bedtime to watch Bill Hader, Andy Samberg
Being here is incredible. Im excited and Im nervous and yknow, whenever Im feeling strong emotions about something like this, I usually write a song about it. So this is what I came up with. Its called Monologue Song. In parentheses, La La La.
I like glitter and sparkly dresses
But Im not gonna talk about that in my monologue
I like baking and things that smell like winter
But Im not gonna talk about that in my monologue
La la la
La la la
I like writing songs about douchebags who cheat on me
But Im not gonna say that in my monologue
I like writing their names into songs so theyre ashamed to go in public
But Im not gonna say that in my monologue
La la la la la la la
This is my musical monologue
You might think Id bring up Joe, the guy that broke up with me on the phone
But Im not gonna mention him in my monologue
Hey Joe, Im doin real well. Tonight Im hosting SNL
But Im not gonna write about that in my monologue
La la la
Ha ha ha
Ha ha ha la la la
And if youre wondering if I might be dating the werewolf from Twilight
Im not gonna comment on that in my monologue
La la la la la la la
This is my musical monologue
You might be expecting me to say something bad about Kanye
And how he ran up stage and ruined my VMA monologue
But theres nothing to more to say, cause everythings okay
Ive got security lining the stage
At my SNL monologue
La la la la la la la
This is my SNL monologue
La la la la la la la
That was my SNL monologue
We have a great show. Kanye West is not here, so stick around, well be right back