Päť Život Poučenie z mačiek a vzťahy
Keď som sa prvýkrát stretol so svojím priateľom, Christopher, pred piatimi rokmi, I had only one pair of flat shoes – scuffed boots from college. Thinking back on my undergraduate experience, Pochybujem, že som dokonca nosil 10 doba, ako vysoké podpätky vykonáva väčšina mojich ciest do a z triedy, ak piaď ľadu potiahnuté kampus, at which point I relied on a wedge. Alright, Aj nazdobený druhej (trochu.) A girly girl in every way, Nevedel som, ako sa robí tepláky docela alebo sa cíti pohodlne ukazovať svoju tvár bez make-up masky, and I never foresaw this changing. But it did, a ja dúfam, že to robí pre ostatné ženy, tiež.
Nie, že by tam bolo niečo s make-up a topánky na podpätku zle - páčiť! Just don't depend on them. When I look at magazines and the constant barrage of media surrounding us, I don't have to wonder why so many women are on shaky ground in the confidence department. I share with you the following lessons I've learned from my feline companions and the straight-shooting man in my life:
1. Objím svoje individuálne označenie: On one of my first summer dates with Chris, I panicked about how pale I looked and resorted to self-tanner. When I say I'm pale, Myslím, že som alabastrová hraničiace priesvitný, so this quick-fix led to nothing but streaks of orange and regret. When he (vedome) pýtal, či som dal na vlastnom Tanner, Prišiel som čistý (aj keď nie v pravom slova zmysle, as, ktorý zahŕňal týždeň exfoliácia.) He asked me why I would do that considering I had a beautiful and rare skin tone. I'd never heard anyone refer to my skin that way, a cítil som sa tak hlúpo, že sa snaží niečo zmeniť jedinečného s produktom, ktorý voňal kovové a odišiel pyžame a biele šaty zakalený.
Naši partneri chcú, aby sme vyzerať ako my, a mali by sme chcieť, aby, tiež. It's similar to having a dating profile photo that looks nothing like you, photoshopped past the point of recognition. We're all unique, and those things that make us different also make us stand out from the crowd. Find the confidence to show your real markings and not covet others'.
Pokiaľ ide o mačky, the same holds true. A calico is no more beautifully marked than a tabby – it's all in the eye of the beholder.
2. Nenechajte si telo hanby: Dvaja z mojich mačiek sú malé, dva spadajú pod priemernej postavy, and two are large. They do not know this. My biggest cat jumps on the cats half his size and wonders why they aren't thrilled with the wrestling play date. If only women could stop the body-bashing we both despise and oddly facilitate. We come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and yet I hear so many of my friends go on and on about perceived body flaws. These perceptions are then coupled with fears about how men view their bodies in comparison to Victoria's Secret models. That kind of self-talk leads to generalizations we make about not only our own bodies, but bodies in general. I cringe when I hear quotes like, "Real women are curvy." Beautiful women come in an array of shapes, so let's embrace whatever figure sees us in our healthiest form. Men don't want to hear us tear apart our bodies, a my sme až príliš často dať je v situáciách, kedy nemôžu vyhrať, no matter their responses. Kate Upton, Kate Winslet, a Kate Moss sú odlišné stavia, ale nie všetci všeobecne považované za krásne?
Po najdlhšiu dobu, Nemohol som vydržať, že moje nohy boli nelepí, tenké, so imagine my surprise when Chris told me that he loved my legs and recommended that I wear more shorts and skirts. The right person is going to like your body and not force you to reshape it. Always remember that.
3. Vychutnajte si jedlo: Ah, the thrill of treats. When I shake that bag of enticement, all six of my cats charge forward at my feet. They love food to the point where it's an event. Who can blame them? Like so many women, I waged war with food as I suffered the above-noted body shame of not feeling perfectly svelte in a bikini. I weigh five pounds more now than when Chris and I first met, ale výmenou za to, I've shared lots of pizza with him during Friday night TV binges. I wouldn't trade those for any number on the scale. I'm far more comfortable with my body at 31 , Než som kedy bol v mladosti.
Jesť zdravo je úžasná vec, a ja som pevne verí v starostlivosti o seba samého (viď nižšie.) Enjoying life and all its flavors, hoci, je celkom veľká vec, tiež. Don't focus so much on your calorie intake that you lose track of enjoying the meal – and the conversation that accompanies it.
4. Starajte sa o seba: When my cats are tired, they sleep. (Sú to všetko úplne vyčerpaná, na ceste.) When another cat upsets them or invades a designated space, they have no reluctance in voicing disdain. So often, kladieme dôraz než hovoriť našu myseľ, or we let someone treat us in a way that we wouldn't treat someone else. Mačky, a muži na to príde, majú tendenciu syčanie a mať to za sebou, thus moving on with their lives and not holding on to resentment or bitterness. They usually don't take things so personally, a vedia, že je lepšie nechať svoje skutočné pocity ukázať, ako pokračovať v rokovaní a vyhodiť do povetria neskôr.
Poctivosť je kritická vo vzťahoch, and the right partner will love you even when you're less than loveable to the outside world. If you can't voice what you really want, potom, ako bude váš partner vám to?
To je taký ťažký, especially for those of us who strive toward agreeableness. If it's any help, try to think of wording things in a way that you would not take offense at if they were said to you. That way, you're saying what you think without having to lose sleep over the issue. The more you do this, the more naturally it will come to you. In my home, syčanie a pradie sú obaja bežné zvuky, a obaja označujú typ vzťahu: pre ostatných a sami seba.
5. Existujú v okamihu, keď: I'm always amazed at how my cats watch birds with a focus similar to how Chris plays video games. The old adage of stopping to smell the roses is famous for a reason – which brings me back to high heels.
Moja stará zbierka obuvi mal nejaké nádherné farby a páskové zdobenie, a ja som ešte pomerne málo párov čaká v mojom šatníku pre správne oblečenie, or at least for this polar vortex to lose its grip. When Chris and I went on our first trip together to Las Vegas, Zbalil som asi päť párov, predstaviť nekonečné flitrami a peria (zrejme, v mojej hlave, Vegas znamenalo obliekať ako herečka.) How many of those pairs did I end up wearing? Zero. Namiesto toho, Môj cieľ sandále porazil betónovú prúžok, ktorý týždeň, and I remember feeling so thankful I had them. Countless girls struggled around us in platform shoes, crippled by peep-toe torture. I sincerely wanted to offer them a bench and some band-aids, S vedomím, že moje začiatku dvadsiatych ja by som bojoval spolu s nimi.
Moje mačky by nikdy ujsť veverička-sledoval len aby mohli hladká srsť späť na svoje miesto, a nikdy som mohol držali krok s Chrisom som mal opotrebované sandále s 4 inch lift. Častokrát, Najlepšie prázdnin spoliehajú na rozumné obuvi a tráviť hodiny robiť prakticky nič.
Život je všetko o pestovaní, and relationships can help us better understand ourselves as we stumble and succeed. Likewise, vzťahy môžu ťažiť z sebavedomie, zodpovedný poctivosť, and indulging in some treats now and then. Dúfajme, nájdeme dobrú rovnováhu syčí a (väčšinou) purrs na ceste.