The Relationship Between Men and Women: Are Men Necessary?; Kinsey Report Updated
COOPER: So, how does your sex life match up? A new comprehensive survey is out. We're going to get to that in a moment, but first here is a look at what's happening at this moment. In Jacksboro, Tennessee, a high school assistant principal is dead. The principal and another assistant are fighting for their lives after a student opened fire this afternoon using a small caliber handgun. The suspect is a 15-year-old. He is in custody. No students were wounded in the attack. The CIA has asked the Justice Department to review a possible leak of classified information. The information was used in a "Washington Post" article on the agency's secret prisons around the world. Republican leaders in Congress have also called for a joint investigation. France is under a state of emergency tonight as the country tries to quell riots that have been going on for nearly two weeks. Local officials have begun imposing curfews. Since the rioting began more than 1,500 people have been arrested, thousands of vehicles torched. France's prime minister says his country is at a hour of truth. And here in the States, it is election night. Several noteworthy races going on. The Associated Press reports that New Yorkers have re-elected Republican Michael Bloomberg as mayor. Meanwhile, CNN projections indicate that Democrats have kept control of governorships of New Jersey and Virginia. Well, since Maureen Dowd brought it up, we thought we'd talk a little bit more about sex tonight. Not gratuitously, of course, not here at 360. No, this is legit. The biggest survey of American sex lives in 50 years. And we're going to be taking your calls on it. You can call us at 1-877-648-3639. Ask some of your questions to our experts. No small matter, this survey. Men's fitness and shape magazines teamed up for the project. A full report of what they found is in the latest issue of "Men's Fitness", just out on newsstands today. And what they found? Well, you can decide for yourself. Here's Adaora Udoji.</s>LIAM NEESON, FROM "KINSEY": Stim-u-lation. Who can tell me which part of the human body can enlarge 100 times?</s>ADAORA UDOJI, CNN CORRESPONDENT: In "Kinsey," Liam Neeson played the researcher who blew the covers off America's sex lives in the '50s. Now a half century later, "Men's Fitness" surveyed some 11,000 people, as many as the landmark "Kinsey Report" did, about sex to see what's normal these days.</s>NEAL BOULTON, "MEN'S FITNESS" MAGAZINE: We felt it was time to take on the "Kinsey Report". Times have changed. Sexuality has changed. Folks have evolved. And we wanted to take a look at where we are.</s>UDOJI: Where we are, according to the study, is between the sheets, at least three times a week; 64 percent of men, and women, said they're having sex three times a week, or more.</s>BOULTON: Three times a week is, indeed, a great thing report. Good news, we're sexually doing quite well as a country. But folks want more.</s>UDOJI: So much more they may be willing to stray. For Jude and Sienna, maybe it was the hottie nanny; more likely though the problem was the time apart. As 59 percent of men say, they're driven to cheat because their not getting enough sex or attention.</s>BOULTON: Women do report a fairly high incidence of cheating as well. Primary reason for that, is that folks are not communicating and getting what they want, at home, in the bedroom.</s>UDOJI: Here's proof men and women, uh, see things a little differently. While 82 percent of men say they're good or excellent in the sack, 43 percent of women say only a small number of men were memorable. And 90 percent of all women say their man would never hire a hooker, but nearly 60 percent of men think prostitution should be legal and 20 percent have paid for sex.</s>BOULTON: I wish I had had a bravado rating, because I think men boast that this is something that's OK, when in fact, I think much fewer men engage in this practice than they'd probably want to report.</s>UDOJI: We heard a lot of women talking about sex in the hit show "Sex and the City". They were New Yorkers, and New Yorkers have more casual sex than residents of any other state. But Alaskan men have the greatest appetite for casual sex. As for the safest sex, that honor goes to Rhode Island, where men and women get tested for sexually transmitted diseases more than anywhere else in the country. More sobering, a recent Zogby poll shows just 39 percent of Americans ask a lover if they're infected with HIV. And experts say we need to start practicing safer sex.</s>BOULTON: And it is one of the easiest and least expensive practices to engage in.</s>UDOJI: Adaora Udoji, CNN, New York.</s>COOPER: All right. So those are just the outlines, lots to talk about -- Mom turn the TV off right now. Joining me now is Neal Boulton, who you just heard from Adaora's piece, he's the editor and chief of "Men's Fitness". And Belisa Vranich is the magazine's health and sex editor and a psychologist as well. Thanks for being with us.</s>BELISA VRANICH, HEALTH & SEX EDITOR, "MEN'S FITNESS": Thanks for having us.</s>COOPER: Let's talk about this. People are probably hearing the results of this and asking themselves, are they normal? What is normal in 2005?</s>VRANICH: Well, that's what we kept having our readers ask us at "Men's Fitness". Am I normal? Do I think about it as much as everybody else? Do I do it as much as everybody else? So we did the survey. And surveyed over 11,000 people to find out exactly what is normal. What we found is that the definition of normal is a lot broader than you would think. Like you said, 64 percent of Americans are having sex three times a week, or more. So Americans are really having a lot of sex. But the definition? It really is broad and it really is flexible, which is nice to hear.</s>COOPER: What's the biggest complaint, Neal, you hear from women, about men?</s>NEAL BOULTON, "MEN'S FITNESS" MAGAZINE: Well, what we hear is that they're not as good as men think they are.</s>COOPER: Men have -- I think you said in the piece, a bravado index, is what you wanted.</s>BOULTON: Yes, I wish I had a bravado index. No, women often complain that men believe they're a bit better in bed than they actually are. So, there.</s>COOPER: What about complaints -- men about women?</s>BOULTON: You know, men often say, they want women to be more aggressive, believe it or not. They want women to maybe even be a little bit more creative in the bedroom.</s>COOPER: Also, I was pretty fascinated by this. Almost 40 percent of say their desire for sex has increased since their teenage years.</s>VRANICH: Absolutely</s>COOPER: Only 24 percent of men say their desire has increased. A whopping 76 percent of guys say their desire has stayed the same, or actually gone down. Why do you think the difference?</s>VRANICH: Well, women are being more exogen about their sex lives. They're actually admitting they have a high libido later in life. And in the second part of that is that work stress is really taking a toll on men's libido. So we're seeing men's libido plateau or go down and women's go up.</s>COOPER: I think stress is a huge factor that a lot of people don't really pay attention to.</s>BOULTON: That's true. I mean, like folks are still reporting -- you know, it is sort of the Yuppie syndrome we read about in the '80s. It is still continuing in the 2K years. Folks are tired, they're not engaging in sexual relations as much.</s>COOPER: What about cheating? A lot of men, women, obviously are cheating. What are sort of the relationship danger zones?</s>VRANICH: Well, one of the dangers is that they are not being safe about their cheating. You really shouldn't be cheating in the first place. And 60 percent of Americans do not cheat. So, it is a nice high number.</s>COOPER: Oh, 60 percent do not?</s>VRANICH: Do not.</s>COOPER: According to what?</s>VRANICH: According to our survey. What you have to remember, completely -- on the computer, anonymous, so people are actually being pretty straight forward. And telling the truth, we hope, we expect.</s>COOPER: All right. We're going to be taking calls from our viewers.</s>VRANICH: Sure.</s>COOPER: We already have a ton of calls in. Still ahead on 360, if you want to hear about you, or have your questions answered try to call us the toll free number is 1-877-648-3639, 1-877-648-3639. We'll put your questions and your e-mails to our guests. We'll be right back.