Guy Hussein 2 hrs 13 Attention all communist scum . At 1:36 AM Pinochet 's AnCap Militia infiltrated Paul Krugman 's office and kidnapped his favorite My Little Pony plushy , the one he sleeps with at night . We will execute Dashy at exactly 12:00 Midnight EST unless our demands are met . Our demands : 1 ) Make the NAP part of the US Constitution 2 ) End the Federal Reserve 3 ) Make the official currency a gold backed version of Bitcoin , PinoCoin . 4 ) Revoke all educational awards and diplomas from all communist scum , they do n't deserve them . 5 ) Deport Bernie Sanders . 6 ) Segregate all leftists with Jim Crowe themed laws . 7 ) Publicly admit Israel is totally gay 