Jewel was one of two sisters that lived in Fort Smith , Arkansas . Opal was the other . The two women were rarely seen without the other , so it was a surprise when Hazel heard only Jewel on the other side of the door . It was especially disconcerting because she was rarely demanding like that . That was usually a job left to Opal . " Opal 's not far behind me , " she said . " She brought her own car so she could stay a few days longer . " Jewel paused and raised her eyebrows with a look that said , " Sorry ! " Hazel laughed at the commiseration . They both knew how difficult Opal could be . They had known it their whole lives . You might say that having to deal with Opal gave them something in common . It had kept them close all these years . " I need to tell you something before Opal gets here , " she said . " That 's why I 'm so flustered . I didn 't want Opal to hear me . " Laurie was Opal 's favorite , above everyone else in the world . Up to this point , she had always been beyond reproach . In fact , most days , you couldn 't get a word in edgewise for all the talk about Laurie : Laurie had gotten a raise at her job . She had gone on a date with a medical student . She had attended the symphony with her church group . There was really no end to all the good work that Laurie was doing . Hazel wondered what could be so bad that Jewel would race ahead of their sister in order to have a private conversation . Already , Laurie had stunned Opal by moving away to Dallas as soon as she graduated high school . Hazel couldn 't think of anything worse than that . She remembered watching Laurie grow up and Opal talking about her granddaughter 's future as if it were her own to decide . She would have a small house in Fort Smith and marry a Christian man who would emerge from the small house every morning with his briefcase with Laurie standing at the door with his coffee and a kiss . And then Laurie and her husband would have a sweet little great grandchild that Opal could cuddle in her arms . She had even talked of their living with Opal so Opal could be of assistance with the children . When Laurie moved away , it had stunned and hurt Opal deeply . " My word , " Hazel said , putting her hand to her mouth . " Did she marry a Baptist ? " Her eyes widened as her mind tried to guess what could be so bad . And then she gasped . " Did she marry a … Catholic ? " She could barely get out the last word and when she did , she whispered it . She knew that would be worse than anything in Opal 's mind . Everyone knew how her sister felt about church and other churches . Hers was The One True Church , the church without instruments , the church without separate Bible classes . When anyone asked Opal about her beliefs about Bible classes , Hazel knew that Opal would consider those people as feeble minded . And she saw it as her duty to teach them . " God did not say , ' Go off and put yourselves in different places to worship me ! ' He said , ' Everyone must be together to praise me ! ' " She was quite passionate when she would relay this to anyone who challenged her on it . When pressed where in the Bible she got her information , she 'd shrug and say she couldn 't remember exactly where it was , but she knew it was there and far be it from her to dispute the Word of God . So , as her children had children , Opal made it clear that those grandchildren must marry within the church - her church . They should never even think about dating anyone outside the church . Marriage was hard enough without being unequally yoked , she 'd say . A car drove by outside and both women jumped . They looked back through the front door as if expecting Opal to be standing there listening . Hazel was relieved to see that the car wasn 't Opal 's and she wasn 't standing there . " Laurie called a while back and told Opal she had cancer , " Jewel said . She took a Kleenex from the box and dabbed at her eyes . " You can imagine how Opal received that news ! It was terrible ! " Hazel remembered Opal recounting how , on the night of his death , he had called while he was on the road . She had wanted to say hello to her son , but she had been in the bath and , by the time she got out and dried off enough to go to the phone , Lloyd had hung up . She never got to say goodbye or anything . She had always wondered if Bruce had meant to confide something to his mother , something important that he 'd never get to say . So she blamed Lloyd until he , too , died some years later . Laurie was Bruce 's only child . When she came along , Opal took care of her on the auspices of helping out , but really she had wanted to be with her favorite son 's child . She could see Bruce in Laurie and that was as close as Opal would ever get to her son . It helped Opal cope with Bruce 's death , but Hazel knew that her sister had taken all the dreams she had for Bruce and pinned them on Laurie . Jewel nodded . " Opal went to Brother Bailey in tears and asked if the church could have a special drive to help Laurie with her cancer treatments . And he was quick to agree to it . He told Opal that 's what the church was for - to help in times of need ! " " That is so kind , " Hazel said . She warmed to the new minister 's generosity and thought maybe he had finally started filling the shoes of the previous minister . It had been hard on the congregation when Old Brother Leon had a stroke and it took a while for them to take to Brother Bailey . " Opal was making plans to go to Dallas , " Jewel continued . " She wanted to take care of Laurie herself . They talked every night on the phone , so much so that Opal had to work out a payment plan with the phone company ! Her phone bills went sky high ! " " Laurie didn 't want Opal to go , " she said looking up and blinking her eyes . " She said she 'd rather call and give daily reports , which she did . It did such a number on Opal to not be there and know how to be helpful . She prayed , of course , but she was sick with worry . " " That 's Opal , " said Jewel . " I have to tell you quick then . Opal found out last week that Laurie didn 't have cancer at all . Never had it ! It was all a scam to get money ! " Hazel started to stand to go to the door , but she felt light - headed and had to sit back down again . The breath escaped her chest and she felt all the sadness , misery , and embarrassment that Opal must have felt this last week . She could barely believe that Opal 's own granddaughter would do such a thing ! After the second ring , Hazel managed to get to her feet and shuffle to the door . Tears clouded her vision , so it took her a moment to get the door opened . Before Opal could even get over the threshold , Hazel pulled her into a big hug . Opal burst into tears herself and she practically melted into Hazel 's embrace . And then Jewel joined them . The three sisters stood in their familial triumvirate and wept in unison . Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . Albert sat at his sister - in - law 's kitchen table reading the Fort Smith newspaper . His wife , Hazel was busy cleaning up the lunch dishes . He figured they had about another minute 's peace and quiet before Opal , his sis - in - law , started up again with her constant demands . There it was . Opal couldn 't keep quiet longer than twenty minutes before she needed something new . For about a week she had been lying in bed nursing her gall bladder surgery for all it was worth . Albert had wished some other sister had been available to stay with her while she healed up , but Jewel had a job and Cleo was in Houston visiting the new grandbaby . That left his wife to do all the heavy lifting with their oldest sister . " That woman , " Albert said under his breath . He watched Hazel dry her hands on a kitchen towel before heading down the hallway to Opal 's bedroom . His wife had this soft way about her . Even her steps were soft and gentle , though he also noticed they were always full of purpose . He knew whatever Opal wanted Hazel would give her . Sometimes he wished she 'd just tell her sister to stuff it . But then , she wouldn 't be his Hazel if she did that . " Nothing … nothing . It 's just , I noticed there 's a lot of dust up there on the door frame , above the door . I hadn 't noticed it before , but just lying here makes me see things from a different angle . Would you get a dish cloth and try to get all the dust off that frame ? " " Who does she think she is ? " He whispered , leaning forward again . He had to resist the urge not to hit the table top with his fist . Albert pretended to be reading the newspaper when Hazel entered the room again . He knew his marriage had always been a point of contention between his wife and Opal . It didn 't help that Opal knew what he thought of her marriage to her dead husband Lloyd . Albert had liked Lloyd , but he thought he had always been a spineless jellyfish and let Opal walk all over him . One day he told this to Hazel and Opal overheard . You would have thought he had accused his sister - in - law of genocide . She laid into him like a cat chasing chickens . They had steered clear of each other ever since . " Oh , Hazel ! " It hadn 't even been five minutes since Opal called her sister back to the room . " I think the baseboards need cleaning too . " " You didn 't come here to do her housework ! " He said through his teeth . " Tell her to get her old fat butt out of bed if she wants anything else dusted . " He stood up , ready to go tell Opal himself just what he thought of her . Hazel walked over to him and put a hand to his chest . She looked up at him with pleading eyes - the eyes he fell in love with . " I 'm going for a walk , " he said , finally , stepping around his wife . In three strides he was out the door . He slammed it so hard the entire house shook . He didn 't actually go for a walk right away . Instead , he sat on the front steps for awhile to try to calm down . He watched the birds skittering and chirping around the bushes in Opal 's front yard . Under the windows along the front of Opal 's house , he noticed some shrubbery needed trimming . He would have already trimmed them if they were not Opal 's shrubs . He liked to stay busy . He was never happier than when he could stand back and look at a job well done . But he simply would not let himself do it . If he did that , it would open up all kinds of expectations from his sister - in - law . She would ask him to paint her house and put a new roof on and build a new shed . It would never end . Opal 's house was the last house on a dead - end street . Albert looked around , thinking about the implications of that . It made him smile . He certainly felt like her house was a dead - end whenever he visited . " Heck , no ! " Albert bristled . " She 's my wife 's sister . Opal 's had some surgery and my wife doesn 't drive , so I had to bring her . " Albert rubbed his big heavy hand through his hair . " If it was up to me , I 'd already be gone back home . That woman wears on me like nobody else ever has . " The man leaned closer to Albert . In a confidential tone he said , " That woman has been a sore spot to all us neighbors . Most of the men in the neighborhood won 't even go out in their front yards anymore . She 's always out there hollerin ' from her front porch . You can only pretend to be deaf so long ! She doesn 't give up and she doesn 't take a hint . " Albert cackled in commiseration . " Oh yeah . She would never take a hint . You 'd have to scream it in her face . Even then she might not get the message . " Opal 's neighbor pointed to a house further down the street . " See that house there with the flag pole ? That 's Ralph Martin 's house . He 's been forbidden by his wife to go anywhere near Opal . " The man shrugged . " I don 't know if it 's true , but it seemed like Ralph was running to the house every other day to look at the faucet or the refrigerator or any little thing to get him over there . His wife Millie had enough and put her foot down . " Both men looked at each other for half a second as the image of Opal the Seductress sunk in . Then they both started laughing at the same time . Tears sprung out of Albert 's eyes he was laughing so hard . Albert continued on his way and , while he walked , he wondered why God had even made people like Opal . It seemed to him that she served no real purpose , except to make the people around her miserable . Albert supposed that her husband Lloyd had loved her , but she was 16 when they married and he figured she was nicer back then . The thing that bothered Albert most of all about Opal is that she did not know unlikable she was . She could at least have a little humility . Albert 's thoughts went further back in the past , then . He thought to the time when he had been courting Hazel . He got dressed up every time he went to a family supper over at her house and her parents gave him the once - over more than once . He always felt claustrophobic when he visited . Hazel 's entire family was so proper and pious . He tended to like people who were more down to earth and didn 't think so much of themselves . Opal was by far the worst of the worst . She played the piano after suppers and the family would gather around and sing . Albert hated it , but he endured it because he loved Hazel . Albert scratched his head trying to understand Hazel 's family . Hazel and another sister , Jewel , used to say that their mother would 've been happier if she had had Opal as her only daughter . He never understood that . He never saw anything attractive about her . He almost hated her for the way she treated Hazel . Opal was exactly the kind of girl he would never have looked at twice because she already thought she was so pretty . He would much rather be married to that sweet , kindhearted Hazel . Sure she sometimes wore her heart on her sleeve , but she always tried to do the right thing . Albert figured it probably wasn 't easy to be Hazel . Sometimes he felt sorry for her . Once they were married , he didn 't plan to spend much time at her family home , if for no other reason than to give Hazel a break from trying to measure up and take care of everybody . " Opal is having a hard time , " Hazel said . She gave him a second look , like she was trying to figure out why he was smiling . " She , uh , needs you to go and get her some more pain pills and the pharmacy closes in about 30 minutes ! " Albert looked at his wife 's plaintive face and his heart melted . He could never tell Hazel no about anything , even if it was to help that harridan , Opal . He knew that his wife was such a goodhearted person and that he didn 't really deserve her . She went out of her way to keep things calm , keep everyone happy , make sure he had what he needed . He didn 't say a word as he got in the car and drove away , but he did look in the rear - view mirror . As he drove up the road , he noticed that Hazel didn 't budge from the porch . He was pretty sure he 'd never forget this moment , or that look of confused happiness she gave him just after he had kissed her . Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . Minnie had put a chicken and a ham in her oven early that morning . She would serve this along with seasoned greens , potatoes , garden vegetables , cornbread and rolls , and several choices of desserts . And then there was always Neapolitan ice cream in her freezer . Minnie reassured herself that she had made a scrumptious and appetizing lunch for her special guest , her niece , Julia . Minnie had several nieces from both brothers . Julia was one of them . She was 19 years old , the picture of youth and beauty . Minnie was so excited to have her niece visit for a week . Her visit was the closest Minnie could get to her beloved baby brother , Leon who had died suddenly a few years back when he had suffered his second and last heart attack at the age of 45 . Minnie had no idea why both her brothers - who had children - were taken so young when she was left childless and alive . She resented the injustice of that . It wasn 't that she had a death wish , exactly . It 's just that she had bothersome thoughts that she had let all her nieces down by allowing their fathers to die so young . She felt she was somehow responsible because she had outlived them . She would have gladly died instead of either one of them . But they were both gone and here she was was left to try and make their daughters as happy as possible . With everything just about ready for Julia 's visit , Minnie felt content enough to take a few minutes to sit down and relax . That is , relax as much as Minnie ever felt safe enough to relax . She sat in her recliner in the corner of her living room and chugged back a Tab soft drink until the can was almost empty . She was like her father that way . She could almost drink an entire soft drink without stopping for breath . This was especially easy for her to do when she was nervous , and that was most of the time . Minnie looked at all the food she had prepared and looked back at her skinny niece . She wondered if she had prepared the kinds of things that Julia would eat . She didn 't want Julia to get skinnier ! Or maybe Julia was still grieving her father 's death . There were still many days when Minnie could not bear to think that Leon was gone from this earth , never to sit at her dining table again , never to keep everyone entertained by his stories , never to talk to her again in that special way that only he and Minnie had . He had been her touchstone , someone who would always understand . Minnie dabbed at her eyes thinking back on these things . Leon had kept alive all of the family times they both remembered . He remembered her when she was young . He saw all of her and loved her anyway . He knew her secrets and her fears . He also remembered how impossible their mother had been . Sometimes , Leon would hold Minnie 's hand while she poured her heart out to him about all of her sadness and he would listen attentively . She knew he was really listening ; not pretending to listen like other people . She got relief and consolation from those visits . It was as if she could breathe again . The night Minnie got the call about Leon 's death she had run up and down the road in front of her house screaming . She felt so alone , so frightened . She was not only scared . She was angry . She didn 't want to go on living in a world without Leon . Minnie wiped her eyes and looked again at her niece . She was reading a book . Minnie squinted to make out the title - " Narcissus and Goldmund . " Minnie had never been much of a reader outside of the Bible and book in which someone overcame great adversity to win in the end . She had to read books like that . She had this hope about her own life - that maybe , if she was good enough , wise enough , and nice enough , her life would at least end well . Minnie wanted people to love her . It was all she had ever really wanted . She had worked her fingers to the bone , said her prayers every night , went to church every Sunday , baked hams for bereaved families , lived a life that had no dark spots , and yet , she wasn 't a happy person . When she lay down to sleep at night , her worry never stopped . She laid on her back with her head on the pillow and her hands on her belly . Her worry was visible in her thumbs as they went round and round each other . Sometimes , if the night was worse than most , she got up and went in the living room to read . She had had some kind of heart problem since she was 18 . The doctor had told her to think twice about having children . She hadn 't said anything at the time , but in her mind , she was thinking - not much chance of that . She was relieved , then , when a knock came at the door . She was even more relieved to see her Kelly standing there . Kelly was another niece from her other brother . She was 16 years old and reminded Minnie of herself . She was so eager to please and didn 't want to let anyone down . Minnie thought for sure that everything would go well with Julia now that she had someone more her age to talk to . It was clear after a few minutes , however , that Kelly felt just as self - conscious as Minnie did in front of Julia . Before long , they were all three silent in the little living room . The window air conditioner whirred on , its fan ticking away the excruciating minutes . Minnie looked from Kelly to Julia and back to Kelly again . She tried to get Kelly to say something , anything , to entertain her guest . But Kelly shrugged and her eyes were wide with uncertainty . Even so , Minnie detected Kelly 's own discomfort . Or maybe she was just uncomfortable enough for the both of them . She watched Kelly shift in her seat , look up at Julia , and then look back down at her book . Then Minnie looked over at Julia and wondered for the first time how long she had been reading that same page . She worried they had disturbed her too much . Maybe she couldn 't concentrate because of them . Finally , though , it was too much . Minnie couldn 't take the silence anymore . Julia could read her book any time , but she was in Minnie 's care now and Minnie wanted her to enjoy herself . " Kelly , why don 't you and Julia go for a walk ? " Minnie said . The words tumbled out of her mouth in a burst of impatience with the whole situation . Sweat ran down her face at having spent the last few minutes racking her brain trying to come up with something . By the time an idea finally occurred , she had crossed the line from worry into complete misery . She felt no choice but to blurt it out . Minnie watched her two nieces walk out of her yard and down the gravel road . It was a road Minnie walked almost every day . Despite her weight problem and inability to follow a diet more than a day , she did try to offset the damage to her heart by walking a little each day . There was a tree about half a mile down the road that she would walk to and then she 'd turn and walk back . She knew - or hoped - the girls would walk farther than that . She worried for them , though . What if a pack of dogs or a car full of boys or a hunter with a gun came along and threatened them somehow ? Minnie took a few tentative steps off her front porch . She thought about following the girls on their walk , but she knew she would never be able to keep up . Instead , she stood on the porch and waited for them to come home . The two cousins walked down the gravel road to the tree Minnie walked to each day . The only sound between them was the crunch of the gravel beneath their feet . Kelly 's earlier attempts to engage her cousin had been met with shrugs and more silence , so she decided it would be on Julia to break the silence . Kelly took the time , then , to think about their Aunt Minnie . She looked back toward the house and saw their old aunt standing on the front porch . She looked so earnest and kind of pitiful , even from a distance . Kelly looked back at her cousin and wondered why she was always so quiet . She was pretty sure that her mother had told Julia how to feel about their aunt - maybe she had told her how to feel about the whole family , even Kelly . She wondered if Julia realized how much Julia 's mother had sabotaged her relationship with everyone . She wondered if she knew how much their aunt loved her and how much she wanted to please her . In the past , before Julia became so silent about everything , she had told Kelly how brainwashed people could be . Kelly had wondered if this was a way to break her out of her own Minnie - imposed prison , to save Kelly from the same worries and pressures that Minnie put on herself . At the time , she admired Julia for saying these things and trying to help her not be like Minnie , but now she wondered if Julia knew how much she , too , had been brainwashed by people like her own mother . It 's not that Julia 's mother was mean , especially not to Kelly , but she had always kept an arm 's distance , just like Julia was doing . Minnie loved all of them , especially Julia 's mother , Kate , if for no other reason than because Kate was Leon 's wife . Kelly didn 't think the love was reciprocated on the part of Kate , but she would never say that to her Aunt Minnie . During one of the visits Kate and Julia made to Minnie 's house after Leon had died , Aunt Kate had sat in Minnie 's living room knitting . Kate was beautiful , just like her daughter , and very accomplished . She was so different from anyone Kelly had been around , including Minnie and her own mother . Kate was a principal at a grade school . Her evenings were taken up with all kinds of activities and classes that would further her education . If that weren 't enough , Kate was elegant in appearance . She wore her hair in a style that would 've been impossible for Minnie . There were combs and pins involved in her hair - do , whereas Minnie had curly , unforgiving hair . She had given up on such a style long ago . During their visit to Aunt Minnie 's house , other relatives had been called by Minnie to celebrate their visit . The living room was filled with family . Minnie had invited all the nearby relatives and even some from further away . She was never happier than when she could get a bunch of relatives together . Kelly looked from her Aunt Kate to her Aunt Minnie . Minnie was beaming , but Kelly knew she would never take her aunt up on such an offer . She suspected her aunt knew this as well - that the offer was merely to win points with Minnie and not genuine . And of course , Minnie would never suspect such manipulation . She was completely innocent of guile or duplicity . Uncle Leon had taught at the university in Knoxville . Kelly tried to imagine how it would be to be able to say her last name in a place where that last name was a good name , a respected name , an important name . She wouldn 't have to stammer and be bashful about her last name because of what her brother had done to their name . Kelly thought about all the times people looked at her when they realized who her brother was . There was always a look of judgment , always a sense that they had put her in the same box with him . It was a hard row to hoe , as Minnie would have said . Kelly thought of Minnie then . Maybe they weren 't so alike after all . Whenever Minnie had come across a snake , she went into some kind of trance . Her husband had always had to rescue her whenever it happened - and , living in the country , it happened at least a couple of times a year . She would stand in the yard and scream , but she couldn 't move . Kelly felt distantly responsible for Minnie 's fear of snakes . After all , it had been her father who had terrorized Minnie with them . If Minnie could be at fault for not having died in the place of Kelly 's father , it stood to reason that Kelly was at fault for Minnie 's phobia . Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . I succumbed to the spiritual pressure to be baptized on the first night . I didn 't trust waiting until the next night . A lot of things could happen in a day . I didn 't want to take any chances . Back at the little church in Appleton , though , it was like seeing the same movie over and over . It was always the same . I knew what would happen next , but still I watched . " You know Beulah 's funeral is tomorrow , " said Mrs . Morton . " Could you bring a pie to my house ? I 'll have Frank take it over to her . " There was always a funeral and always a pie needing to be made . Aunt Winnie always agreed to make it or whatever food was necessary to help out the grieving , hurting families . She also went to every funeral service . It 's what people did . Mrs . Morton nodded . " She was looking so much better than last time I saw her . I 'm so glad she doesn 't need that walker anymore . " Aunt Winnie 's mouth dropped open like she was trying to get the words out but she couldn 't . Finally , she whispered , " Are you sure it wasn 't someone who looked like my aunt ? Maybe someone far away ? " Mrs . Morton didn 't seem to notice Winnie 's surprise . " No , it was her , " she said . " We talked a bit when we were looking at the plums . " Winnie nodded and smiled a weak , confused smile , but she said nothing more . Her husband was walking up to the podium just then , so time for talk was over . Still , she seemed so shocked to hear that Aunt Emma was walking without a walker that she leaned forward to look over me to my mother . " Let us pray , " my uncle said . He bowed his head and closed his eyes . " Dear Lord , may the speaker of your word have a ready recollection of thoughts . May those thoughts move someone today to turn their life over to you . And please bless the hands of the women who are cooking for our bereaved family … . " I took a chance to open my eyes and look over at Winnie then . She was the one who was always pitching in and helping . My uncle had to be talking about her . I wanted to see if I could tell that she was proud of what he had said . But she didn 't seem to be listening . Her head was bowed , but her eyes were opened . She was looking down at her hands and she seemed troubled about something . My uncle finished his prayer . He repeated his concern for the lost souls of the congregation . When he said " Amen , " I looked around at the few dozen people and wondered who he thought was lost because we had all turned our lives over to God , even me . Did he know someone 's inner miseries that the rest of us didn 't ? Was he trying to reach them ? It was time to sing then and we were asked to stand . Most of the congregants were past sixty . They groaned as they forced themselves from the comfort of the wooden pews . While we sang , I noticed my aunt watching the cows in the field out the window . She continued to do this throughout the sermon . I looked at the back of Mrs . Morton 's head and wondered if Winnie was upset about what Mrs . Morton had said about Aunt Emma 's walker . I didn 't completely understand , but I knew she was worried about my other aunt for some reason . A few days later , Winnie came for a visit . She sat at my mother 's kitchen table , and she told her what Mrs . Morton had said . Mother seemed shocked as well . Mother shrugged and shook her head . " I can 't imagine . I 've never seen her without that walker . To go this long just pretending ? " I 'm not sure what Mother thought of when she heard this , but I had to put my cookie down because I was imagining Aunt Emma with gum or peanut butter or some other sticky substance all over her head . The thought of it made me want to laugh , but Aunt Winnie was so serious that I knew better . So I picked up my cookie and stuffed it in my mouth to keep from giggling . " Her hair is jet black now ! " Winnie said . She seemed almost angry , but I knew the look on her face was more about worry . " Hazel , I think she used shoe polish on her hair ! " " Even if she goes into a nursing home , she 'll expect me to visit everyday . I guess a home isn 't going to change that . But there 's a limit to what I can do , Hazel . " I wouldn 't admit this to anyone , but I loved my youngest child so much more than the others . I tried to be fair , but it was so hard at times . When Winnie and Albert came along , I didn 't think I could love anyone any more than I loved them . And then Travis arrived and I realized he had been the child I had truly wanted all along . I was 22 when Winnie was born . It was a laborious birth . I stayed exhausted mentally and physically for so long . My neighbors and the church ladies came often to give me time to nap or they would bring a casserole to the door . They assured me that things would get easier in time . I waited a long time and it never happened . To say it bluntly and truthfully , Winnie was not a pretty little girl . Sometimes I looked at her and asked myself how this could 've happened . When I found out I was going to have a baby , I was so happy . I didn 't really think that much about what the child would be like . My daughter had soulful gray eyes that watched me constantly . She had my swarthy complexion and seemed to be frightened of something even as a baby . She didn 't cry much , though . She would just lie in her crib , wide awake , for hours . But she didn 't cry . The closest I could come to describing her emotion was that she was worried . Always worried . I felt sorry for her even before she could crawl . I didn 't know what I could do with her . I made her dresses of lace but she looked ridiculous in them . I tried everything . Her hair grew out to almost waist length . On any other little girl this would have been helpful . It just made Winnie look older . She was not like other children so there was no use in hoping that she would find a group of girlfriends at school . My sister Dollie had a baby girl six months after Winnie was born . Dollie came all the way from Slaton , Texas to spend a few days with us right before the holidays . I didn 't understand how my sister had been able to travel with a baby that young . It wasn 't something I could do . She and I put Winnie and her daughter Christine in the same crib , but Christine crawled away from Winnie as fast as she could . Still Winnie just sat there and never complained . My daughter was an old soul . As she grew , she began to be a good child . She was probably the best - behaved child anyone has ever met . People marveled at her social graces . She liked people to be happy with her , to appreciate her . I could already imagine the life that she would have before she became a teenager . It made me sad . I didn 't know how to even talk about this with anyone . Winnie was four years old when I saw everything so clearly . It was about this same time that I found out that I was going to have another baby . I gained over 50 pounds in my second pregnancy . I was so miserable the entire time . I couldn 't sleep , I was nauseated a great deal of the time , and I wondered how on earth I could gain so much weight . At times it seemed that the baby that grew in my womb was already warring against me . The child did not rest peacefully inside me . I knew he would not be like Winnie . I secretly hoped that might be a good thing . I knew that he would have a lot more spirit and a lot more fight than Winnie ever did . By the last few months of my pregnancy , Winnie had taken over many of the household chores . I took one look at him and immediately knew who he looked like ! He was the spitting image of my father , John Gamble . People would remind me often of this - thinking that it made me happy that my child looked like my father . It did not make me happy . From the very start , Albert was the opposite of Winnie . He demanded attention and wanted more of everything . He watched me with those dark brown eyes and I tried to feel something positive about him . I held him and changed his diapers and gave him food and took good care of him , but I could tell - he didn 't like me . As Albert grew , he looked so much like my father that I almost couldn 't stand him . If it was just his appearance that bothered me , I might get past that . But he had the same blustery presence . Albert walked into a room and I was suddenly on edge . I got the prickly sense that he could see completely into my soul and I always looked away . Sometimes he didn 't say anything at all . He just looked at me with disgust . On numerous occasions , I asked my husband John if he thought we should discipline Albert in some way . As always , he chose to have no real opinion . He wasn 't even aware of the fractured relationship between Albert and me . I loved John with all my heart , but we stopped talking like we used to . We didn 't even talk at all most days . Everybody just wanted to get away from me . It was hard to know these things and not understand how to change them . I can remember how much my husband and I loved each other in the beginning . Nothing made me happier than to see him coming toward the house after work knowing that he wanted to come home to me . When he saw me standing at the stove cooking our supper , he would stand behind me and put his arms around me , and tell me how happy he was with his little wife . I was little back then . He could almost encircle my waist with his hands . It wasn 't long before I wasn 't little anymore . I didn 't see any of it coming . The change in my appearance happened gradually over the years . Suddenly I had to extend my dress patterns to accommodate my widening girth . I saw the other women at church looking at me , noticing , wondering why I had let myself go . All of my sisters and my one brother managed to take life in stride so much better than I did . I don 't know why that is , but it is . If I had not had my sister Emma to laugh with in my childhood , I don 't know what I would have done . Emma could make me laugh in the midst of the worst times of our lives . She could somehow turn things around and make me feel so much better . When Emma lost her baby girl , though , she was never the same . I didn 't know what to say to her during this time . She did not cry hysterically . She just got very quiet . Her husband didn 't help much either . He had always been the strong silent type . I could imagine the silence in their house being almost palpable . That 's about the same time Emma began to think of her cats as if they were her children . No one dared to say anything to her about this . We were all very happy that she could find solace in the company of devoted cats . I often wondered if other mothers and wives felt like I did . I never broached the subject with anyone , though , because people didn 't do that . Any one of those church ladies who sit by me at the fellowship dinners and showers at church would stare at me in shock if I had asked if she really liked her children . It was a social necessity to at least pretend you liked your own children . My sister , Dollie , seemed completely taken by her baby , Christine . Dollie always looked pleasant and seemed positive about everything in general . I wanted to ask her how she did that , but I didn 't ask her . When I thought of Dollie , I thought of her face lit up with a smile . I knew that wasn 't what people remembered about me . There were days when I woke in panic and an icy cold fear in the pit of my stomach . I knew this wasn 't normal . I was hemmed in on all sides by fear , but I could see in other people 's eyes that things would go a lot better if I didn 't mention any of this . I didn 't think that we would have any more children . Albert was seven and had grown even colder toward me than he had as a young tot . Sometimes my father came to see Albert and take him fishing or he invited him to the domino hall . I didn 't want my son to be around my father but my husband thought that having his granddaddy around was good for our son . Then I found out that there was going to be another child . Winnie was so excited . I think she might have been more excited than me . She was eleven years old . I was 33 years old when my third child was born . I didn 't know if my body would let me carry another baby . I was young when the other two were born and neither of their births were easy . I envied the women who talked about giving birth as if it was like breathing . Especially after the first one , it was all supposed to be easier . But it was never easier for me . Travis was born after four days of hard labor . When I was going through this experience , it was the first time I got angry with my husband . How dare he get pleasure at the price of my pain . Even if it did result in a sweet little baby , I swore I would never go through that ever again . My husband sat by the bed and kept a wet washcloth on my face to help distract me from the pain . I thought it would never end . When the third day of labor dawned , I began to feel desperate . I thought something should be done but I didn 't know what . Winnie stood in the corner of the room watching me with those gray eyes . They were as big as saucers . Then early in the morning of the fourth day my third baby arrived in a mighty swoosh . For just a moment , I could relax . My husband put the baby on my chest , while he helped clean up . I thought Winnie might be in shock because she didn 't move - even after the baby was born . The new baby rooted around on my chest and settled in nursing . That is when I fell in love with him . He was a baby boy but already I could tell that I loved him in a way I had never loved Winnie or Albert . Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . Joe was silent for a long time . She thought for a moment he had fallen asleep and it made her angry in a way . How could he sleep when their oldest son had just died ? Joe wasn 't asleep , though . In a monotone voice she could barely hear , he said , " He was 19 . What were we supposed to do ? " They both broke down again , Joe turning away from Marjorie . She knew he didn 't want her to see him so broken . He was a cop . He had seen the worst of things . He was always the strong one . Meanwhile , Marjorie just lay on her back and cried into the empty air . The world she had thought she had such great control over yesterday spun out of control when the phone rang at two in the morning . She didn 't have to be told something had happened . She knew . She had been out on the porch waiting for their son Harold to drive around the corner . He was never late . He was a good son . She managed to smile then , thinking about her child . Harold wasn 't like so many of the young people they saw with long hair and a general air of rebellion . He kept his hair short and well groomed . He was especially handsome that summer he had a buzz - cut . She couldn 't remember for sure which summer it was . They all blurred together now . Harold had always been thin , almost too thin . Marjorie thought about how he lifted weights every night in his bedroom to try to build up his arms and look bigger . She almost laughed remembering him take on a boxer 's pose to show them how much his muscles had grown . Up until yesterday , their lives had all been so good . Marjorie and Joe had good kids - three of them , though now there were only two , she remembered . She tried to remind herself that the other two were good kids too . Bonnie was so smart . It seemed especially cruel that her daughter was so successful in school but she didn 't have any real friends . Up until yesterday , the greatest heartbreak Marjorie had experienced was seeing how cruel other girls were to her Bonnie . She had tried to help her daughter deal with the weight that caused her so much grief , but it always came out wrong . It always seemed to make Bonnie think that Marjorie saw her in the same way those mean girls at school did . Harold and Bonnie looked a lot like Joe , but their youngest , Jerry , looked like Marjorie . She smiled when she watched him playing out in the backyard as she cooked . He truly was a beautiful boy . Her heart was lighter when he was in the room with her . He reminded her of her older brother who had died of pneumonia when he was in the army . Being a mother of three , Marjorie thought she had seen it all . There were days of chicken pox and measles . Jerry had to have a tonsillectomy one winter when he stayed sick for months . And she had come very close to tragedy on other occasions with her children . A car had hit Jerry when he was nine . Marjorie recited the story to the other policemen 's wives more than once . She had heard the squealing tires , the yelling , and she knew . Mothers just know sometimes . She knew something had happened to Jerry , and she rushed down only to find his body on the pavement a few feet from the car . She had run to comfort her son , but a man standing nearby grabbed her and held her back and told her that she could hurt him worse if she moved him . The ambulance arrived and she had climbed on board to go with him . She prayed and begged God not to take her Jerry away . And he hadn 't . Jerry recovered with only a tiny scar across his forehead as a reminder of that awful day . She thought she had seen it all by then , but as another wave of sobs rattled through her she started to think that all the other days before had just been part of the routine . Yesterday might have been the last truly normal day she would ever have . Harold had not been spared as Jerry had before . He had simply been walking his girlfriend to his car across the parking lot when a drunk driver spun out of control and slammed into him , sending him flying 30 feet . There 's no way he would have survived . Marjorie played out in her mind every detail of that last day she had with her son . In some way it seemed like it had happened years ago already . Maybe that was what shock did . It made time twirl and tilt until you weren 't sure what was real and what wasn 't . Harold had been home all day . He had been working on his car . He got his clothes all greasy and then he got all spiffed up to go out with Susan , his girlfriend . " You sure do , " she had said . She dried her hands on a towel and turned full around to get a better look at him . He had on a short sleeve cowboy shirt and jeans that she had ironed with great care to get the creases in the front just like he liked . And he wore his black cowboy boots . " You worked hard for those boots , " she told him . She had felt so proud of him for working so hard on a paper route to earn the money for those boots . " You and Susan are going to have a good time at the rodeo , I think . " She laughed and shook her head before walking back to the sink . It was a joke between the two of them . He knew she always waited up and she knew he would always come home . He had before . Marjorie thought of her mother then . She had been gone for several years , but Marjorie 's heart ached now to have her mother hold her . They could cry together . Harold had been the first grandchild . She had ridden a bus all the way from Pascagoula to spend a week with them and help out with the new baby . It had been such a special and happy time for all of them . It was in this moment , in the midst of all this pain , that she realized she had no one to turn to like she would her mother . She felt lonely . There were no real women friends she felt close to . She had had friends in high school , but they had all drifted apart . Church didn 't offer much in the way of comfort then either . They went to church every Sunday , but people there didn 't really say much to each other about daily sadness , much less horrific tragedy . They smiled and waved and clapped each other on the back and pretended everything was fine . Sometimes Marjorie wanted to call one of the ladies in her church circle . She wanted to ask her if she ever felt depressed or lonely for no reason . But Marjorie never did that . The only other social activity she had was the Policeman 's Wives Auxiliary meetings every other Monday night at the community center . There were folding chairs set up in rows and the wives listened to someone talk about budgets and city ordinances for about twenty minutes . Then they 'd eat tiny pieces of coffee cake and drink coffee while the children rushed to a table set just for them to get a cookie . Joe 's movement pulled Marjorie back from her thoughts . He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed . He didn 't look at Marjorie or say anything for a while . He looked like he might be holding his breath . She forced herself to sit up and get out of bed . She shuffled to the kitchen where she could look out the back window to the garage . Joe was there . He was just standing in the middle of the yard looking at the spot where Harold always parked the car . She had ended up in that spot the night before after the phone rang . Joe had taken the call . She had watched his face turn white and she knew . Her heart had stopped and she had screamed until Joe had come and folded her in her arms and told her their son had died . She barely heard anything after that . She knew someone had told her that Harold 's girlfriend was okay . She knew that someone had said Harold had been a hero to push Susan out of the way at the last minute , but she could not really hear or see or feel anything after she had been told her son was dead . Her voice trailed off when she saw the police officers standing in front of her . Their eyes were puffy and red and she wondered why they should be crying when it was her son . But then she remembered - they were Joe 's friends . They were men she had known since she married Joe . They loved Harold almost as much as she did . Marjorie figured she fainted then . She may have screamed before as well . She woke up who knows how long after . She was on the bed and Joe was next to her . She looked him in the eyes and wept as she prayed out loud that it had just been a nightmare . Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . I knew the voice well . It was my brother , John , but the urgency and fear in his voice made me shudder . Before I said anything , my thoughts immediately jumped to the worst conclusions - cancer , accident , death . I could almost feel him looking around to see if someone was watching . Now I wondered if he had committed some horrid crime . My hands broke out into a sweat and the earpiece of the phone receiver stuck to my ear from perspiration . I paced a hole in the floor in the time it took my brother to get to my house . When he banged on the door , I jumped . By then , I was a complete wreck . I had told myself that I would demand him to tell me what had happened before letting him in my house . If he had committed a crime , he could be endangering me or my husband by making us accessories . And I didn 't want to go to jail . But when I opened the door , the shell of my brother stood before me . His face was pale and clammy . I couldn 't utter a single word looking at him . He didn 't wait for an invitation , either . He pushed past me into the living room and sat down in the green chair he always favored when he visited . He leaned his head back and let out a long sigh . How could I forget ? It was my share of the old homestead our grandparents had left us in their wills . And John had essentially badgered me out of my share for a price I would never have taken from anyone else . He knew no one wanted to fight with him . He was so blustery and his threats seemed real when he made them . So , everyone in the family just gave in before things got ugly , even if it meant giving up a piece of good land at a bad price . " I heard something about it , yes , " I said . I had also heard that John had arranged for the house to be burned down . It was just too coincidental that the house burned almost immediately after he assumed ownership . It seemed clear to me that he didn 't want the house . He wanted the proceeds from the insurance company . John leaned forward in his chair . " The whole place is gone , " he said . " All those family times we had … now all that 's left is a pile of smoldering ashes and the old chimney . " I pictured it as he described , a chimney just standing there like a sentinel in the remains of the house . I remembered when they had built a sidewalk from the front porch steps to the road , and I thought of what the sidewalk must look like now , a sidewalk to nowhere . I supposed the storm cellar was still there , also . I could picture in my mind how desolate it must look . " I cried , Karen ! " He seemed almost in tears now , which was enough of a shock by itself . " I don 't think I can go back down there ever again ! " " I got out of the car , " he went on . His voice sounded dry . " I stood there at the edge of the road , but I couldn 't make myself go any closer . " He turned his face away from me . He was crying . He was never one to show emotion , at least nothing like fear or sadness . I thought about how our mother used to fret over the fact that he wasn 't like other kids . His emotions were so buried inside him - all except anger . He didn 't want the kind of hugs and cuddles I adored from our mother . And he definitely didn 't care if anyone approved of him - not like me . It upset me terribly if our mother was mad at me . John , though , he would do the most horrible things and never apologize for them . So , to see him crying now worried me . I waited for him to answer , but he didn 't right away . He wouldn 't look at me . He stood up , walked to the window , and looked outside . He seemed to be checking if someone was coming for him . " That wind came out of nowhere , " he said . " It was cold and it completely surrounded me . " He lifted his arms out and made a motion to demonstrate how the wind circled around him . I took a deep breath . It was only wind , I thought . As nervous as John was making me , I reminded myself that at least he hadn 't robbed a bank or killed somebody . It was just the wind . " I 'm telling you , it wasn 't just a normal wind , " he said . " There were presences in that wind . And … and they are all mad at me ! " He looked away from me , back outside , and whispered , " They think I am a fool . " Sunday mornings were always busy in Momma 's house . All five of us kids knew church attendance was mandatory . Even I , who had been off at college over the last year , knew not to question that . Being the oldest , it was my job to help the younger ones get ready . I had just stood up from buckling my baby sister 's shoes when I caught my mother looking in the mirror in her bedroom . Outside that room I felt the chaos of five young people getting their hair pinned back or worrying about where they put their gloves . Inside Momma 's bedroom , it was completely still . It had been months since my father had passed away . The last time I had been home , he had been confined to the bed that was now perfectly made , without the hint of a wrinkle . He had shriveled up to nothing by then , but his presence was anything but quiet . He was in such pain and misery and so very helpless . I was at college when he died , but Momma told me to stay put . She didn 't want me to miss a day of schooling . Momma turned from the mirror and smiled . That weariness I had heard in her voice on the phone showed up in the wrinkles that tugged at her eyes . She was forty - five , but she looked sixty . She had the same expression on her face that I had seen on other black people as they aged . It was the look of resignation . All of us moved toward the door and I noticed as Momma walked through , her shoulders relaxed and her posture grew more confident . We were going to church as we had done every Sunday since before I was born , but it was the first time I realized what it gave my mother . It was a way for her to feel more hopeful and secure about her life and the world in which she lived . The walk to the church was not far and we met up with others along the way . I had grown up around all of them . We were like extended family , really . I watched Momma greeting the other families . She was so graceful , so much more alive than any other time . Her smiles were effortless with her lady friends at church . I thought about the many times I had seen them gather at one another 's homes after worship and how everyone raved about my momma 's bread pudding No wonder she loved it so . It gave her so much and helped her keep going . As happy as it made me to know she was well loved and respected , my year at college had opened my eyes to a life different than this . It was a hoped - for life , but it was a life without the weary ways of hard labor and racial injustice . I felt sad when I realized that there were borders in every part of my Momma 's life , lines not to be crossed . She had accepted her lot in life a long time ago , but I couldn 't let go of the possibilities of something different . Walking with those families to church for the first time since returning from school , I couldn 't help but feel a world apart . I think they felt similarly . Sure , they smiled and were kind , but they looked at me differently , as if I had crossed one of those borders , as if I had betrayed them somehow . I remember then struggling to keep my mouth shut . What did she know ? She was 15 , beautiful , and boy crazy . With all the boys who flocked around her , she was headed toward babies and marriage before she was 17 . I didn 't think she had a lick of sense . But since returning from school , I was starting to think maybe others felt the same way . Still , I did my best that summer to fit back in and to help out Momma . I put on a uniform , just like Momma 's , and I accompanied her to her cleaning jobs . When she wasn 't at the nursing home taking care of old white folks , she was cleaning their families ' houses . She worked so hard . I wanted to take some of the burden off her if I could . No matter what I did , though , I couldn 't shut out the year of college under my belt . It had opened my mind , raised my consciousness . Momma never questioned her existence . She didn 't have the luxury to think about it , I guessed . And she didn 't understand why I did . I wanted to make a difference . I wanted to help . I especially wanted to make Momma 's life better , but as the weeks passed , I didn 't think change would come in time to save her . It was Momma who broke the silence . When she spoke , I realized that she had been holding whatever it was in . Her words came out awkward and hurried . I stopped walking and turned to look at her . She stopped too , but she looked off in the direction we were headed . I had the sensation that she was afraid to go on but also afraid not to . " It 's just , " she said and then paused for too long . She was searching for something . " Maybe you oughtn 't to come with me . " Before I could protest , Momma raised a hand to my arm . " There 's a man at this first job , " she said . " He 's … he 's not a good man . " She didn 't answer my question directly , but she didn 't have to . I tried not to hate anyone . Being vindictive and resentful never did anyone any good . But sometimes , I just wanted to take matters into my own hands and hurt those who hurt the ones I loved , especially Momma . " You can 't go there , Momma , " I said . I heard the pleading in my voice and I couldn 't control it . " Please . Let 's find something else . " She shook her head . " If I don 't go , there won 't be anything else . Word gets out that I 've up and quit for no good reason I won 't get another job anywhere . Gracey , I need the money . " I looked into her dark eyes and I felt all her weariness weighing into my shoulders . Survival was why she put up with this life . She just needed to get through another day , get her kids fed and grown . I wanted to take all that from her and give her a good life . I wanted her to have respect and ease and comfort . And then I felt the resignation I had seen in her . It crept up into my shoulders and neck . She had no other choice . There were hungry mouths to fill and no other way of making do . " I 'll go with you , Momma , " I said . I tried to speak evenly so she wouldn 't hear the heartbreak in my voice . " Maybe with two of us there … . " I didn 't finish the sentence . I wouldn 't have been able to without being honest . The truth was that I hoped with us both there he wouldn 't try anything and I wouldn 't have to kill him . Momma nodded . She held out her hand and I took it . She wrapped my arm in with hers and we walked the rest of the way in silence . Grace Washington is a new contributor to Jet Planes and Coffee . Like many of our writers , she is from Texas with roots all around the South . Her stories often uncover the realities and courage of those who fight for justice . Share this : TwitterFacebookPinterestEmailPrintMoreLinkedInRedditGoogleTumblrLike this : Like Loading . . . Posted in Contributors , Essays , Fiction , Grace Washington , Literature Tagged essays , fiction , Grace Washington , short stories John 's Family Reunion In the summer of 2005 , my brother John , moved back to Grayson County in Texas where we had grown up . He was wrinkled and worn , and for the first time , I noticed that he seemed tired . I tried not to think about all the situations that had driven us apart for so long . The list was endless , and I didn 't have a lot of fight left in me . The truth too was , no matter what had happened , I had missed him . I often wondered how it could be possible to detest and love someone at the same time . But I did . And I sensed that he wanted to try to be a family again , so I gave it my best shot . He looked old and so small compared to the larger than life man I had known just ten years before . There were no black hairs left on his head , just gray and white . Inside , though , he was still John . He regaled us with some of his favorite stories during supper . They were stories I had heard before , but I wanted to hear them again . I hung onto his words as he wove his stories and I watched the cigarette smoke rising from his mouth . " I was working at an air conditioning and heating place in Fredericksburg , " he said . " We went out early in the mornings to install new units . That day , we had just climbed up into the attic of a house when I heard a man 's voice down below asking us how things were going . " " Well , what was I supposed to say ? That it was as cool as an April morning ? Hell no . I looked down toward the voice and simply told him the truth - it was hotter ' n hell up there . " " You actually said that ? " I asked , laughing . I knew this story . I knew he had actually said it , but it had been so long since we had had times like these that I relished hearing it again . John nodded . " Sure did . And wouldn 't you know , when I looked down through the ceiling air vent , but it was Lyndon B . Johnson opening his morning mail . " John had always been more at home in the world than most people I knew . Even as his old age crept up behind him , he still had the confidence and demeanor of the handsome young man he had once been . He even flirted with the waitresses at the restaurant and it didn 't seem to surprise him a bit when the young girls flirted back . From about the time his feet touched the green grass of Texas , John started talking about having a family reunion . I wasn 't against it exactly , but wasn 't exactly up to it either . I didn 't know what was wrong with me . And if I couldn 't explain it to myself , I certainly couldn 't explain it to my brother . July . Sometimes the entire month went by without a cloud in the sky . The month always made me think of Momma and the song we had sung at her graveside service , " Uncloudy Day . " Months went by and John kept making plans . I tried to distance myself from all of it for a while . Something told me that he wanted me to cook all the food , just like our mother would have done when she was alive . I really didn 't want that kind of responsibility , so I kept the reunion conversations at arm 's length . Still , I didn 't want to walk into some kind of John - created chaos on the day of the reunion , so I got up the courage to ask him about it . He sounded like a little kid , to be honest , and like most kids , he never really thought all his plans fully through . I felt panic rising in my chest . I still couldn 't explain why , but it was there . But he heard my worry and got irritated . " It doesn 't matter , " he said . " We 'll have fun no matter what we do . " I pictured Aunt Jane riding in a boat going across a large expanse of lake in 110 degree heat . Old people would be dropping like flies on that boat and John hadn 't thought about any way to keep them from overheating , keeping everybody hydrated . Did he expect me to come along and pick up the slack ? " You can 't worry about all that right now , " I heard him say into the phone . He had gone from irritated older brother to snaky salesman . " Just think of sitting under the shade of those big trees on the islands . How long 's it been since you played a good game of dominoes ? Wouldn 't that be fun to sit outside with our family and play dominoes ? " The week before the family reunion , I felt as if something catastrophic was bearing down on me , and there was no getting out of the way . How could I have stopped it ? I had rarely seen John this excited . I comforted myself by thinking that maybe the world would end before it happened . Or maybe an asteroid would hit the earth and I wouldn 't have to worry about the family reunion . I tried to appear excited when John was around . Each day leading up to the reunion was hotter and drier than the one before . No cloud graced the North Texas sky . I wouldn 't watch the weather forecast because it was always the same - sunny and hot ! It was the same every summer - a high pressure ridge sat over us and any possible precipitation went around us . " What ? " I asked . I was glad I had been sitting down when he called because otherwise , you could have knocked me over with a feather . " What are you talking about ? " And that 's when I realized it . He had planned the whole thing for Tammy . She was the real reason he wanted to get the family together . Karen Brode is a senior contributor for Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , TX and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . Mother got into the driver 's seat of our car , and Opal took the passenger seat . Thankfully I had a quilt and a pillow in the backseat . I liked to watch the trees zoom past the back window . We had to drive 100 miles to get to Marble Falls . It seemed odd to see my mother driving Opal around . My aunt usually commandeered any situation . But , in a burst of unusually rebellious energy , Mother had hurried to the car and got behind the wheel . That left Opal no choice but to sit in the front passenger seat . Aunt Opal shifted in her seat and dabbed her brow with a handkerchief . " You know I have to take that pill every morning ! It 's prescribed by my doctor . I don 't have a choice . " Mother sighed and looked out the window . I noticed that her hands , placed always at " ten and two , " had a hold of the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles were white . I knew she had not wanted to go to this family reunion , but Opal had planned it and insisted we participate . She had spent the fall and winter contacting all of the relatives on their father 's side of the family . Neither my mother nor my aunt had had much to do with Poppa 's side of the family . For one thing , there was Uncle Gerald . It was rumored that he had made a killing in the stock market early in his life and now lived in luxury . When Poppa was in the hospital , Gerald had visited a few times , but he always ended up embarrassing my mother in some way , like when he handed out five dollar bills to the nurses . She thought he , of all people , should be poor and miserable because he was morally bankrupt . She told me it didn 't matter how much money you had if you had no soul . The one hope my mom had for the reunion was to see Aunt " Pet . " She had been Poppa 's favorite sister and had been with him in his hospital room as he died over the last year . My mother loved her . We had been on the road for about 30 minutes when Mother pulled into a gas station with full service . She drove over the little tube that made a bell ring and the attendant came out to put gas in the car . He looked pretty tousled , like he hadn 't slept much the night before . There were dark circles under his eyes and he moved in slow motion to wash and wipe the windshield . When he squatted to the concrete to check the air pressure , I wasn 't sure he would be able to get back up again . It was hard for my ten - year - old brain to wrap itself around my Aunt Opal 's figure . She was thin on top and wide , wide , wide at the hips . I tried not to stare when she came out of her bedroom at our house , but I just couldn 't understand it . When she walked down the hall , her whole body sort of swung to the left and then to the right . I never dared try to pass her in a hallway for fear of getting stuck to the wall on one side . I marveled at her proportions - going from narrow up top to extra - wide in the middle , and tapering at the ankles and feet , until it looked like she might tip over should a strong wind blow by . I often wondered if she knew this about herself . I didn 't think she ever looked in a full - length mirror , and I couldn 't blame her . Perhaps this is why she always seemed very happy with her looks and confident of herself . She certainly didn 't have the personality of someone who had been beaten down by society for being fat . In fact , she walked around unashamed in her bra and panties when she went to wash her face in the bathroom and get ready for the day . I just wondered if she special ordered her panties from somewhere . It looked like yards and yards of nylon had gone into making just one pair . There were other things , too , that made me curious about my aunt . She never wore anything but Old Maine Trotter shoes . She was a religious woman - never cut her hair because she said the Bible had forbidden it . Her hair was long and , every morning , she braided it and wrapped it around her head a few times and held it in place with bobby pins . She could never recall the scriptures that forbid a woman cutting her hair , but she believed it and so I couldn 't help but wonder if maybe there was a scripture about Old Maine Trotter shoes too . My aunt wasn 't completely without vanity . In an impulsive moment , she had bought a wig that she thought might make her look more sophisticated and modern . Had she bought one that fit with her coloring and age , it might have made a little more sense . But it was platinum blonde and it made her look sallow and old . Mother made me promise not to say anything . She told me that if Opal wanted to wear the wig , we should just accept it , and not mention it . Accept it we did , as we did with everything about Aunt Opal . She was a force to be reckoned with . And so , when it came time for her to use the restroom at the hole in the wall gas station , my mother and I exchanged glances knowing it was likely not going to end well . It was worse than any of us could have expected . The toilet leaned precariously to the left and the sink had a trickle of orange rusty water drip , drip , dripping out of the faucet . She looked around for paper covers for the toilet , but of course , there were none . Finally , she turned and marched back to the car . " I can 't use the rest room here , " she said . " It 's awful . I feel so dirty just being in here . You 'll just have to stop somewhere else . " So , we piled back in the car and continued down the road . Only a few minutes had passed - just long enough to watch my aunt start squirming again - when my mother said , " You know , there 's not a lot of traffic . You could just go in that field . " " Oh , you know that the minute I got started , there would be lots of traffic , " she said . But in less than a second a pang of pressure must have hit her because she blurted out , " Okay . Stop here , stop here . I 'll do it . " I helped her out of the car again and watched her disappear into the trees . I wondered if she knew how bright her red dress stood out . Thankfully , no cars came by . It was another 15 minutes before they returned to the car . They didn 't look right , especially Opal . Her face was dirty and her glasses sat at an odd angle on her nose . Her wig had slid to one side of her head . Through her sniffs , my aunt finally spoke . " Hazel , would you let me out here in this next town ? I can 't go to a family reunion looking like this , but you all keep going . There 's no reason for you and Karee not to go . " That 's when Opal started sniffling in earnest . Between sobs , she said that she had always wanted Poppa 's side of the family to like her , but they didn 't . In fact , on bad days , she wondered if they made fun of her . I felt sorry for my aunt , but kept my head down focused on the Etch - a - Sketch I had brought along to pass the time . Mother pulled the car over on the shoulder of the road and stopped . She knew her sister was right . It was also true that Opal did not look her best . No matter how much trouble she was and how much of a nuisance she could be , neither of us wanted to see her humiliated . Mother told Opal that they would stop for an early lunch in the next town and then turn around and go back home . Karen Brode is a senior contributor for Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , TX and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this :