My experience was not a personal near death experience , But I did experience the death of My Grandma . Here is how the experience went . I was helping my neighbors fix some things in their apartment when I suddenly felt totally spaced out and tired . I told my neighbor that I needed to go lay down for a while . I returned to my own apartment and laid down on the bed . I almost immediately went into a state where I was not asleep and not awake . I started reaching out with my hand and grasping at the air . ( Strangely I knew that it was not me that was in danger . ) I could feel the chest getting heavier and heavier . All of the sudden I was looking at a strange room through someone else 's eyes . I looked around the room and saw my aunt standing next to the bed that I was lying on . She was holding my hand . I could feel a tremendous bond between these two people that seemed to transcend all time . It was literally an unbreakable bond . I could feel energy go up my arm into my aunt 's body and come back down into my body . At that point in time , the view faded out as though someone did a fade out at the end of a movie . All of a sudden we were at an aerial tram setup , that went into a park and then up into the mountains . I do not know where . But there was a problem with the tram . There was a tremendous urgency to fix the tram . I did some repairs on the tram and the people got on the tram and the tram went off into the distance . As the tram left , the scene faded out again as though the camera were doing a fadeout at the end of a movie . I suddenly had the sensation of being pulled backwards and then falling . The fall seemed to last about 20 seconds . I slammed back into my body and I could feel the bed go down from the impact . I woke up at that time , and the first thought I thought was " that crap is finally over . " I felt really good and had a real feeling of accomplishment . I walked out into the kitchen and there was a message on my answering machine from my dad that that my grandma had died . I suddenly had a vision of my auntI was taken to the hospital because I could barely breathe . When I got to the hospital , the nurses and doctors were trying to ask me what was wrong . So I tried to answer , but as I tried to tell them I could barely breathe , all the breath I had just seemed to blow right out of me like a gust of wind . I couldn 't breathe in . So I remember pretending that I was at swimming lessons when I was little when I was able to hold my breath the longest . Then all of a sudden I saw all my ( deceased ) family members come towards me ( in hospital beds . . . like the one I was in . . . ) they were all surrounding me . Then my ( deceased ) father 's face was right in front of me ( he died when I was 10 of a heart attack ) . There seemed to be a white light or substance surrounding his face . He was just looking right into me . Then a yellow light or substance started coming downward towards my dad 's face ( which I seemed to ' know ' was my ( recently deceased ) twin brother ) . Then all of a sudden , I seemed to be ' awake ' and wondering what was over my shoulder . It was my fiancée crying , telling me ' Don 't go ! Don 't go . " Then I was fine . Then the doctor checked me out , said I was fine , and could go home . So I don 't really know what happened . Apparently , I was there for 6 hours , but I only thought I was there for 15 minutes ? No one ( any deceased family members ) ever ' said ' anything to me . . . But it seemed like they were saying that I wasn 't suppose to go . So I don 't know if this was a NDE or not but my life seems to be totally different . I just go with the flow now ; whereas before , I was so scared ( I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ) . I am not even worried about the future anymore ( and I don 't even have any immediate family members who are alive except one brother who I don 't see because he is in hiding from the bad things he 's done ) . By Anonymous on Thursday , April 1 , 2004 - 08 : 50 pm : This is the first chapter of a manuscript I 'm working on . It may be a little long for your needs , but I hope that it is helpful to you . But please keep in mind that I do intend to publish this in a book soon . A Walk in Time I was in Concord , California staying with an aunt . On March seventeen , nineteen eighty - seven , I awoke early to a thunderous single beat of my heart and a fast , deep gasp of air . My eyes flew open to the pain in my chest , as I realized that I hadn 't been breathing for quite some time . Fear shot through me as it never had before , along with the realization that I was alive . Alive was the only word in my mind . My body felt only fragmentarily connected to the rest of me . It was unbearably heavy with a loss of control uncharacteristic to me . My once comfortable body was now strangely foreign , responding to my commands only with great effort as I stumbled my way into the living room . I sat staring into space , attempting to steady my hands and control my erratic breathing . I coughed , sensing that I couldn 't speak . No matter how I tried , I couldn 't make a single sound . I would later learn that this symptom meant that I had been dead for about twenty minutes . I managed to light the first of an endless series of cigarettes , undoubtedly one of the most important things to do after a major heart attack . I was grateful the baby was still asleep and my aunt had already left for work for the day , as I began reliving in vibrant mental and emotional detail what had happened and where I 'd been . I 'd gone to bed the night before as usual , with no strenuous exercise during the day . Nothing at all was out of the ordinary . I 'd gone shopping , made dinner , and watched television after putting my nine and a half month old daughter down for the night . I slept soundly , until the early morning hours when I suddenly seemed to awaken in a dark , cloud - like haze . A brilliant and comforting light shone through the clouds beyond . I was alone and knew immediately without a single doubt that I had died . I couldn 't remember what hIt was after my son had been taken out of me and they were sewing me back up . I felt it was getting very hard to breath , and I really needed to fight to say in control . I then noticed I was flying away from my husband . I was going side ways away from him , like down a tunnel but on my side . The distance between us was getting greater . I could see my son , and then I heard a male / female voice say it was time to go home . I felt very angry ( my husband and I had lost 3 babies via miscarriage ) and our son had just come into this world . I was in no way ready to leave my family as they needed me and I wasn 't ready to move on . I told the voice to forget it , I was not ready and that was that . The anesthetist told me I was very brave , and he seemed to know how close I had been to going out . I later found out I had lost a large amount of blood so much the floor was covered . I saw the shocked looks on the theater nurses faces as they looked at the blood all over the floor . I nearly had a stroke a few days later . I was too ill to breast feed though I tried to do so for four days . It took a long time for me to reconnect to my world . I knew I was given this chance because I was so sure I had things still to do . My dad did not come for me , so I knew I could stay , and so I did . Dad 's got a really strong sense of time , and he would have been there on the other side if I had been due in . I guess they were just testing my resolve and found I had a lot of miles left in me yet . By Anonymous on Thursday , April 1 , 2004 - 08 : 47 pm : I had had an illegal abortion , crudely performed . Afterwards , I became infected from my head to my feet . I was in excruciating pain . My friend decided to take me to the emergency room . There was a wild thunderstorm , I remember . I could not get my shoes on ; I nearly passed out . My friend helped me and got me into the car . I remember we came to a railroad crossing , with a train going by . We had to stop and wait . I was in the back seat , barely able to withstand the pain . Then suddenly I knew I was dying . Time seemed insignificant , I don 't remember at what point it happened . I think we were still waiting for the train to pass . All of a sudden , I felt myself lifted out of my body . I did not look down at myself , in fact , I don 't remember looking anywhere . But the feeling was as though I was being taken into the arms of God , a concept I had never considered . Every sorrow , all grief , heartbreak , disappointment , loss , resentment , was gone . It was simply handled , period . I then felt the most unbelievable love , mercy and peace that I could ever imagine . In fact , one can 't imagine it ; it simply doesn 't exist on this plane of consciousness ! There are no words to describe it , and so I just have to " know " it . It was the greatest gift I have ever known . By Anonymous on Thursday , April 1 , 2004 - 08 : 46 pm : During a 4th of July party , a friend of mine inserted a large firecracker into an empty beer can and threw it at my feet . I heard it hit the ground and looked down at it just as it went off . The explosion was like a hand grenade . A large piece of the can penetrated my skull through my nose and into my right eye , which was severed in two . I was instantly blinded and started bleeding severely . My friends rushed me to a clinic , but they were not equipped to handle as severe a wound as I had . I was taken to a large hospital , I do not know how . I was left laying on a gurney until a proper ophthalmologist could be contacted . I remember a large pressure bandage being placed over the right side of my head . There was severe pain . My next sight was of me laying on the gurney , only I was 30 to 40 feet above looking down . My thoughts were ' why doesn 't someone help this poor guy ? ' I then noticed that it was me . I felt a very cool breeze on my back , like standing in front of an air conditioner on a hot day . I turned to see what it was and it was a hole in a black background , a very bright white hole , about a foot in diameter . It was so bright , but it didn 't hurt my eyes , like one would shield themselves from looking at the sun . It was many times brighter than the sun , but it was relaxing . I looked back at me and I was growing farther away , and the hole was getting bigger . Now I noticed the cool pleasantness of the light . There was no pain . There was no noise . I was very curious and approached the light , which was all around me by now . I knew I was not going back to the hell of life ; it was too beautiful where I was . The cool breeze blew in my face and I felt it all through my body . I had no sense of restrictions . There was no need of anything . I was also very hungry and drunk at the time , but I had no sense of either symptom . I was fully prepared to enter the light , but took one last look back at the pitiful wretch that was me . Suddenly , I saw a nurse come to my face ; she drew her hand back and slapped me as hard as she could . I had gone to a state park with my grandmother and family friends . This was my first time to be in the water as my mother had a fear of the water . And since my mother wasn 't around , I got to play a lot . I did not know at the time there was a wall separating two different areas of depth . But the wall looked very inviting to me to jump off of . I jumped into the deep side and wondered why I was able to stay down so long . I remember thinking this was really a wonderful feeling being in this wonderful place . I remember it being warm , loving , and very , very pleasant . Just about the time I was really enjoying the feeling , our friend Helen pulled me out and scolded me for jumping in and being under so long . At the time I did not realize what had happened . I just remembered how wonderful it was being there and not wanting to leave . It was not too long after that , that I started hearing voices in my head advising me what to do and what not to do . It seemed to be instruction . Also , I remember seeing auras . Of course , at the time I did not know what any of this was . It was just things that I saw and heard . Also , I seemed to be very aware of people 's feelings . I became quite introverted and lonely . I did not learn what any of this meant until I started putting things together while reading " Full Circle " by Barbara Harris . I still have intuitive encounters and other psychic things happen to me . I can supply them if you want them . At any rate , I think this is probably what happened to me at 5 yrs old , and I just now was able to put a name on it . Thank you By Anonymous on Tuesday , March 30 , 2004 - 10 : 31 pm : In 1987 , my sister ( one year younger than I ) died of breast cancer after two years with the disease . In 1990 , I discovered a lump in my left breast , and after a visit to my GP , I was to have a mammogram and ultrasound . In light of my sister 's recent death , I was obviously very concerned about my own health . That night I went to bed as usual when suddenly there was a " being " standing ( ? ) beside me and the impression I got was that I had been " told " I was being taken to see my sister . We " walked " upwards through a " tunnel " not particularly dark as in black , but dark bluish , I was very aware of the " being " ( my maternal grandmother came to my mind but I can 't be sure ) " walking " with me and felt quite comfortable with them , but I couldn 't see the " being . " Suddenly we were through the " tunnel " and entered a brightly lit ( sunny ? ) paved courtyard bordered by a low brick retaining wall beyond which was beautiful lawn on which " walked " other " beings " . To the left was another low brick wall and the impression of a fence just beyond it . On that wall sat some " beings " ( impression ) and my sister , who had her head bent over some hand sewing she was doing . I have to say that my sister was never one to sit and sew . As we drew close to her she looked up at me and said , " go back , it 's not your time yet ! " I sensed some frustration in her voice , which was exactly how she would have reacted . Immediately I was back , awake and in my bed . I continue to be in awe of my experience , which I know without doubt was not a dream , despite having people try to convince me otherwise , not by my family however . By Anonymous on Tuesday , March 30 , 2004 - 10 : 30 pm : I was riding an off - road vehicle , and I suddenly found that I had taken a wrong turn and was going off the edge of a cliff . I thought I was surely going to die as I was flung over the handlebars and into a mid - air summersault . As I was spinning around , I found myself looking up and the four - wheeler I was riding on was coming down right on top of me . If I survived the fall , this thing was going to finish me by crashing down over me . It was then as if time stopped and went into freeze - frame . I suddenly realized I could do something and divert the trajectories of myself and the vehicle . I don 't know how in a fraction of a second I could have become so clear and be able to act to change the outcome . I raised my right arm and gave a mighty push to the four - wheeler and sent myself spinning to the left , as I was still in that forward summersault . A moment after I impacted the ground , I was wondering if I was just dreaming I had survived . I had to pinch myself . Within a short time , a tremendous pain in my shoulder convinced me I indeed survived . My left shoulder was shattered , but I had survived . I could never understand why time seemed to stop and how I could have reacted that fast . It was as if everything else slowed down , or that I was somehow speeded up and thus everything else seemed slow . It was just enough time to avert almost certain disaster . The project I started four years later after a similar experience is now a butterfly peace and healing initiative spreading around the world . I guess I 'm still here because I had something to do . What is really amazing is that the butterfly is often associated with this kind of experience [ ref Judy Guggenheim , who wrote Hello from Heaven ] . Welcome to the magical world of butterflies and serendipity . May Peace Prevail on Earth ! By Anonymous on Tuesday , March 30 , 2004 - 10 : 19 pm : I was reading some entries on an associated website and was struck by the similarity between those and this entry from my diary reproduced verbatim . To set the context , I was seriously depressed and suffering from emotional pain I couldn 't stand much longer . I wasn 't really inspired to record my thoughts and feelings - but felt this experience was meant to teach me something . I wanted to record it whilst still fresh so that I could refer back and make sense of it . 3 Jan 1999 : Last night I was reading ( a book from a friend who was also undergoing an extremely distressing time ) and decided to ask for guidance . I saw a deep crimson velvet heart like a box . When opened , there was a flame inside . I couldn 't quite get an answer and fell asleep still struggling to understand . I had an epic dream which seemed to last for hours . When I was still awake , I first saw a girl with a sneer and hard eyes , and long blonde hair . I asked for " someone benevolent . " In my dream , I was guided by a woman with brown hair . I saw her in two or three places , but she always had the same eyes and that 's how I knew it was still her . The first parts of the dream were very deep . I know I was asking questions and was receiving guidance , and I think I was satisfied - or even cheered - by these responses , but I have no idea now what I learned . I wish I knew . Then a more lucid bit came when this woman said , " You can still set yourself free , if you believe , you only have to ask . " She carried on speaking and I interrupted her because I sensed I was running out of time : " Who do I ask ? " In the meantime , this woman was saying , " This drinking - it 's an attack on your feminine side . " And in response to my question , she said , " Well , that 's the ironic thing - it 's you who 's doing this to yourself - you ask yourself . " I think possibly before that I had a strong sense that I wasn 't going to make it back from this journey , and I started to pray . I remember making the sign of the cross and saying I loved ( something ) and saying " give my love to God . " I had a massive heart attack . Fortunately , I was at the emergency room . I felt no pain ; I just slipped away . The next thing I knew I was in a large room , like old photos of inside Ellis Island . There were no windows on the ground floor but there was much light from the windows above . The entire hall was filled with tables like a school cafeteria , and they all had lights hanging above them . I was dressed for work and went to my table . Although there were no directions , I knew exactly where I was going and I sensed that I belonged there . I was not afraid . I only remember a tremendous peace and somehow I felt as though I belonged . I never thought about my family or anything , it was all about me . The next thing I remember were many voices calling me , and I awoke as they carted me to the cath lab . I 've had two open heart surgeries since ; the last one I almost didn 't make it through . After seven days of no sleep , I slipped into sleep deprivation psychosis . My blood pressure dropped and I was being kept alive by a computer . That night I could no longer fight , and I gave my life to God and resigned myself to die . I could hear the prayers of people praying for me and I fell asleep . I awoke the next morning and I felt warmth cover me from head to toe . A voice told me I was not through . That day I pulled through , and two days later I was in a private room and walking down the hall . By Anonymous on Tuesday , March 30 , 2004 - 10 : 17 pm : I was 13 years old . I don 't know if I died or not . I had double pneumonia . I guess I passed out because I couldn 't breathe . The next thing I knew , I was floating above my body . I had hands and feet and could see and hear every thing going on in my bed below . I could hear them saying he is too young to have passed away . I kept trying to tell them that I was not dead . They could not hear me . I began to see a light coming towards me . I could feel a love present as the light got larger , and a warmth of great compassion inside the light . There was a figure inside the light that talked to me without using words and said , " You have to go back you have something you must do . " When I was there , I was thinking this must be Jesus . I asked him a lot of question about where is heaven . He showed me what I will be doing in heaven . He told me that , and answered a lot of other question . I don 't know who you are at the other end of this computer . You will never know that love in this life . He is a wonderfully brother to us , and we have wonderful things to do when you or I go back to that light to stay . This he also told me : the work that I have done for the last 15 years is me trying to express some of the love that our brother has for us to those in need . But believe me I could not express that love in 10 life - times of work . Sorry I don 't spell that well , I so want to get into what he told me at this time . But it [ was ] wonderful for you and I both . [ a child of the light ] By Anonymous on Tuesday , March 30 , 2004 - 10 : 16 pm : I would like to get as much information as I can about this if I could . I don 't know if this is a near death experience or not . Here is my story . In 1999 I was in the hospital . At 8 : 15 p . m . I quit breathing . My wife told me that by the time the doctors worked on me and let her back in the room to see me it was 9 : 00 p . m . The only thing I remember is that I thought that I was in some sort of waiting area and I was having a very INTENSE argument with a black clergy man . He said - " J , God is with you now - it is time to go . " I told him that I could not go because my granddaughter needs me right now and would not understand . The more we argued the more intense it got until I heard my wife 's voice calling me and I woke up . In 1985 , I had been feeling extremely tired for months , when I had some dental work done . The dentist decided to put me in the hospital to cut out some wisdom teeth , as I had Raynaud 's disease . Upon admission to the hospital , a pre - op was done , which included a chest x - ray . They later came in and told me that my heart was appearing double its size in the x - ray . They later decided that I had fluid around the heart , which made it appear so . Within the next 10 days , they went in to my heart - lining with a needle and would withdraw the fluid . Within 2 to 3 days it would build up again . Each time it would be from 560 to 650cc 's of fluid . They finally decided to go in and operate , to take out part of the heart lining , so the fluid could not build up , as they could not find out why it was doing this . They took me into surgery and administered the anesthetic and I sank down into oblivion . All of a sudden , I heard a nurse say , " Doctor , her pressure is dropping . " She said this three times and by the third time , her voice was sounding panicky . It was at this point that I realized I could hear exceptionally clear . I cannot describe the clarity of my hearing . I could have heard a pin drop . I felt as though I had been fighting a difficult battle and I just gave up . I gave into an over - whelming feeling of defeat . It was at this point that I heard a voice say , " you are judging yourself much too harshly . " A feeling of complete , total relaxation came over me . It was as if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and it had been removed with that one sentence . I knew that I had been unconditionally forgiven for any wrongs I felt I had done throughout my life . I felt myself starting into a total darkness , but I was not afraid . I started moving along in this black tunnel , when all of a sudden I was brought back to the harsh lights in the recovery room . The pain in my chest was intense . Both sides of my ribs hurt and I felt as though I had a hot iron on the inside of my chest . When I totally awoke , I also found a V - shaped maI came across your website and thought that perhaps you might be interested in my experience below . I am not sure as to whether this counts as a NDE , as there seems only a few of the common incidents . This is probably far too verbose but if the contents are of interest , please feel free to edit my notes . Equally , I am unsure whether biographical information is required . I append some details if needed . My name is B and at the time was 62 years old . I have a somewhat elderly and very ordinary physics qualification ( 1960 ) , and spent the first 15 years in research laboratories doing research into communication in the presence of noise . I was persuaded to leave research and apply my experience into the design and management of large communication systems . Over the next 15 years , I designed and installed a variety of networks both international and national . In 1990 , I took a profitable early retirement and formed my own company carrying on the same work . In 1997 , my life style ( too much eating , drinking , smoking and working ) caught up me and my heart called it a day , obliging me to close my company and give up work . I have yet to establish a satisfactory explanation for some experiences I had during 1997 ( and I refer to notes that I made in as soon as I was able to type ) . I suffered a series of heart attacks and was admitted to the intensive care unit of my local hospital . After about a week , I became much worse and was transferred to another hospital where I underwent emergency heart surgery and had a quadruple bypass . Two days after the operation everything started to go wrong , and in fact , I was unconscious under full life support for an extra 8 weeks . I knew nothing of this until I woke at the in a completely terrified state ( which apparently is not unusual ) . I had no idea where I was or what was real , having had the rather unpleasant and very vivid dreams as described below . ( These dreams are still as vivid today as when I woke . ) Principal Dream Episodes : Much of the dream ( or dreams ) are now unclear . In particuAfter an appendix operation , as they were trying to bring me round , I could not breathe , I felt as though as I was suffocating , I was feeling intense pain , I could not see anything but could hear everything that was going off in the operating theatre . After a few seconds , I was at my shoulder level , no pain . Next second , I was back in my body , intense pain once more . Then again , instantly I was a little further away from my body , again at shoulder level , no pain again . At this time I was thinking , Good grief , what are my daughter and dogs going to do without me ? Again I whizzed back into my body , intense pain , Next time , a little further away from my body , thinking this time , : no pain , but there will be an article in the local press tomorrow : woman dies during routine appendix operation . : Whoosh , back in my body again , excruciating pain . Then relief , again a little further away from my body . No pain , what relief , still no sight like other people have said , but sound and totally rational thinking when I was not in my body . Next second , back to the agony . By this time the theatre staff realized that I was having trouble , and they said , she is going cyanosed ; they said , " Let the machine breathe for you . " What relief . I woke up in intensive care on life support . But I have since said that if I had died , my spirit , soul or whatever would have still been there . By Anonymous on Tuesday , March 30 , 2004 - 10 : 04 pm : The narrative above describes two of my experiences . I have also had other events that have changed me . I have true seen a ghost of a young lady at the road side , at night , in a very dense fog . I will never forget the eyes . They were empty . I thought I had hit her ; I stopped the car and backed up . No one was there but she had been there . She was white with a white flowing dress and looked to be 14 - 17 years of age . My boyhood home was built on the exact site of where a church had burned . Some of the lumber in our home was from the burned out church . We played in the grave yard as kids . The house was filled with sounds at night . Heavy foot steps on the roof , scraping in the window screens and a family constantly in torment . Two years ago as I sat at my computer at 9 : 00 AM on a Sunday morning writing an article , I had a very strong vision of my father falling on a snow - covered sidewalk , striking his head , massive bleeding , and an ambulance taking him away . I also saw him dead . The sensation was extremely strong and I had to sit back in my chair to deal with it . At noon , three hour later , my father fell while entering a bowling alley that we had gone to for a birthday party . Everything happened as in the vision , and he died a few weeks later of complications of massive head trauma . I was extremely shaken a few hours after he fell and a surgeon came to me to talk . I told him of my vision , and that I might have been able to have stopped it . He looked at me and said that his father had told him of many like situations that he had experienced during WWII . The surgeon believed my story , and said he believed that something is available to us if we just knew how to deal with it . He too calmed me , and then walked away . Many things in business and research come true after I had envisioned them as much as a decade prior to the event . I do not want to use any ability for gain , but it haunts me to know that this ability exists . I have some very strong theories about what is going on and the nature of these abilities . I know I amIn 1973 , I was scheduled for a routine cardiac catheterization . This was probably my sixth one in the span of my 18 years at the time . I was born with congenital malformations of the heart and had three corrective surgeries to repair the damage prior to this experience . I was nervous . All I could remember were the experiences I had had in the past which were terrifying . I was afraid this would be the same regardless of advances in the technique of the procedure . I was taken to the cath lab , and everything I had remembered about my past procedures came true . It was four hours of terror , due in part by a physician who at the time was a resident and was assisting the cardiologist performing the procedure . The whole matter was botched from the get go . When I was returned to my room , I was drained of every ounce of energy . It was an effort to take a breath . I ask the nurse for a drink ' she brought juice . I took a sip , and then vomited . I fell back on the bed , heard a scream for help , which I assume came from the nurse in attendance . The next thing I knew , someone was shaking me . I could not respond . I began to drift away into what I thought was sleep and suddenly found myself back home watching my mother and my little brothers and sisters about the house . In an instant , I was aware of being among my relatives in Indiana , my birthplace . I saw each of my relatives going about their everyday routine . Suddenly I remember reciting the Act of Contrition aloud , but my lips were not moving . In that moment , I was soaring toward a great light . During this time , I noticed that I was passing cornfields and split - rail fences . There were folks waving to me as I was " flying " by . The feeling I had was one of great warmth and happiness . It was a joy I had never experienced before and haven 't since . Very suddenly , I came to a stop and found myself in the presence of an iridescent golden light . I felt part of that light . . . joined to it if you will . At that moment I knew all that was , all that had been and all that was to come . Though I had visited your web site , and thought I would share my experience with death with you ! In 1979 , I was in an accident on a motorcycle that left me with major injuries . At that time , I was 20 years old . I had died just minutes after reaching the hospital . Things I remember are seeing myself being worked on to bring me back to life . I never saw the light that so many talk about . However , I did feel the peaceful feeling that comes with death . I have never talked about this experience to any except my wife and children . I have always known that there is something on that other side that I will visit one day . I am not afraid of death anymore . Well , years have went by since then ; now I 'm 40 years old , had a lot of family trouble , got divorced and so on . It took a toll on me bad . Well , in 1997 , I was drinking one night . I got to thinking about my life and that I had lost my family ! So I took a gun and without hesitation put it to my head and pulled the trigger . From that point , I had a visit from a lady ; don 't know who it was to this day . She was not from real life . she had told me I am not suppose to be there , that what I had done is very wrong , and that she was going to make it right again . This I had not told anyone either . Then I spent the next two weeks in a nightmare kind of state , living with awful things . Unlike the first time I died , she told me if I ever take my life again , this is what I would have to live with for eternity . Then I woke up in the hospital . I have come close to dying many times in my life : from drowning to almost getting shot during a hunting season . But I always seem to have some angel watching over me all the time . Am I special ? I don 't know , but to someone in the after life I suppose I am . What my reason is for living I don 't know . Why I dodge death so many times , I don 't know either . But I do know I won 't take my life again by my own hand . That nightmare is one I don 't want again . So now days , I try to understand god and things and to be a good person . In my belief , I think II was hospitalized and put in traction after a car accident left me with a broken right femur in 1970 . Because it was such a clean break , I had a hard time healing , so after three months of traction proved fruitless , the doctor decided to insert a steel plate in my leg to assist healing . I was scheduled for surgery in 1971 at 11 : 00 in the AM . At around 8 : 00 , a nurse came in and gave me a hypo . About an hour later when the doctor came in , after checking my blood pressure , he asked if I had been given a hypo . When the nurse said I had , he instructed her to give me another one . He came back about an hour later and checked my pressure again . He asked me if I had any concerns . I told him I wasn 't afraid of the surgery , but that I was scared of the traction being dismantled while I was still awake . He told me that I could be put to sleep in my room if I wanted , and that 's what they did . When I fell asleep , I was in my room with the traction still attached . The next thing I remember was a blinding light shining in my eyes and I could her muffled discussion . It gradually became clearer ( my eyesight , not the voices ) , and I could see the huge light from the operating table , and also the doctor with a mask on , and two nurses . I turned my head to the left and could see another man seated at my head ( I now presume this to be the anesthesiologist ) . I thought to myself , " Oh my God , I 'm waking up and they 're not done with the surgery yet ! " But then it occurred to me that nothing hurt ! Then in the next instant , I was up in the right hand corner of the room , watching them work on ME ! I could see the back of the doctor 's head , silver side of the light over the table , the tiles on the floor and walls , everything , very distinct . Then I felt a presence directing me to go through the building where the ceiling and walls met . When I did , the outside was ( of course ) a tunnel . I was at the entrance to it , and the " presence " had turned into three cloud - like , ghost - like beings . I sensed they were female , and they were very calming . TheyI was asleep and what I saw was a darkness come around me and I was scared , but then some light started to show and then hands , at first I was scared and then I was not . Then I started to see people coming to me , and they where family . Some I knew and some I never meet . They were dead long before I was born , but I knew them . I was not scared . Then there was a light at end of this tunnel , and I knew it was God in there and I was not scared . I felt at peace , but then I thought about my kid and how young I was . Then I heard a voice say , " It was not my time . " I woke up coughing and that scared me . I stayed up . I had dreams before of a gate . It was open a little bit and then the next night it was closed . This has made me not scared of death . By Anonymous on Tuesday , March 30 , 2004 - 09 : 41 pm : I was in bed at night and woke up with a hot fever . I called my mother , who was trained in nursing , to get me a glass of cold water . She took my temperature and it was one hundred and fifteen degrees . I went to sleep . Early in the morning , I opened my eyes and could see the sun shining through my window . Suddenly a deep , dark tunnel opened up at the foot of my bed leading up and outward . A being clothed in bright white garments , with a bright happy angelic face , appeared at the end of the tunnel at the foot of my bed . It stretched out its arms and said to me , " Come with me and all of your worries and problems will be over . " I decided to put it to the test , as I didn 't believe problems would disappear just because I was not around . I asked the being what would happen to my younger brother and sister whom I protected from my mean sadistic older brother ? The being turned dark and grimaced at me and said harshly , " Forget about them , think about yourself ! " I said to it , " You 're not an angel " ! I wasn 't going anywhere with that creature . I threw up its arms , covered its face , and said " Nooooooo " as it retreated back into the tunnel , which closed up on it and disappeared . I felt very good that I was not fooled into giving up my struggle to help my family by death . I noticed later that morning that I was covered with a lot of bumps . I had the chicken pox , which was a very severe case that lasted three weeks . I have never forgotten the experience , and I have only shared it with my younger siblings whom I have gladly looked after all of their lives and most of mine . By Anonymous on Tuesday , March 30 , 2004 - 09 : 40 pm : Anyway , ever since I was a child I have been able to see and feel someone watching over me . One time I was playing the piano a felt a very nice warm feeling over my shoulder I turned to see who it was and I saw a really big smile . I guess whoever it was , was proud of me at the time . As I went through school , I knew what the teachers were going to say at times before they said a word . I just sold my house and I left a ghost with it ! It used to move things in my toy room , but never wanted to contact me except through a ouija board . I was able to get initials , but that was it . My hairs stood up really high so , I just let it be and played in my toy room . It would walk around in the room at night while we watched TV downstairs . I would usually yell upstairs for it to not to break anything . Another thing that has been happening is a guy at work died a few years ago and I would see him at work playing hide and seek with me . If I told this to anyone they would think I 'm nuts ! I can tell you this though I haven 't seen him in awhile . I think he finally went towards the light ; I did tell him to do so . Another thing : I was at work and I kept on seeing red and yellow flashing lights . I left work and down the street at the corner , there was a fire at a warehouse ! Leaving work , I was at a red light when it turned green . I sat there ; I didn 't know why until a tractor - trailer came running through a red light . Thank God for the intuition ! I can go on . When my brother was baptized , the white cloth the Priest used to wipe the holy water off his forehead had blood on it and no one was bleeding . Another time one of my brothers had been run over by the family car and he was fine . The tire tracks went across his chest . These two brothers are twins also . By Anonymous on Tuesday , March 30 , 2004 - 09 : 39 pm : All my vital functions had shut down . I was not declared brain dead ( yet ) , but my family had been " prepped " by the doctors of my impending death . I had bloated to 170 pounds ( normally 120 ) ; my skin was black and cold . The doctors could not draw blood because it had thickened . I was not aware of my situation . I was in the most beautiful place I have ever seen . I was near a beautiful blue lake that was as smooth as glass except for the two swans gliding through the water . At one end of the lake , a large ( willow ) tree leaned from the bank over the water . The grass was green and deep . The sun was a beautiful golden color and the smell was that of a warm summer day , sweet and relaxing . Then I heard the music . It was music I have never heard before , beautiful and " angelic . " I tried to distinguish the instruments , but I was unable to name them , and I realized the instruments did not have human names . Then the voices began , slowly at first , blending with the music until I could not distinguish the music from the voices . I wanted to grab my journal ( that I kept beside my bed at night , so when I woke in the middle of the night with song lyrics in my head , I could write them down ) . I couldn 't find my journal and realized that I was not supposed to relay this information to anyone else . This was something that only I was to experience . No voices spoke it to me but my " soul " understood ( I don 't really know what I mean by this but it is the only way I can explain it ) . After I realized I wasn 't supposed to " explain " this to others , I realized that the music and voices were a lot like the wind in the trees , the kind of wind that isn 't gusty , strong , or destructive but the kind of wind that soothes , caresses and nurtures the earth . ? ? ? ? I was never afraid because I " felt " a " presence " always nearby to offer comfort but there was no discomfort . I felt safe and warm . It was as if I had been shown " what could be " and not to be afraid . During the weeks in CCU , I had many " dreams , " all of which involved some decision on my part ( do The event happened one evening in 1983 . I usually take an evening walk with my dog near my house in Bangalore , India . The houses are located within a fenced enclosure about half a square mile with about 40 houses at either end and open space in between . That day , I took a walk alone and it was a little later than my usual time . I walked to a big rock about 15 - 20 feet high and I stood on top of it . I thought later that it was a little unusual for me to do that . I used to practice yoga about 3 years prior to that event and I do it in a lying position . But that day I did that same yoga postures standing up on that rock , which was again very unusual . After a while , I saw a light slowly rising in the evening sky from the horizon and it stopped about 30 to 45 degrees angle to the ground in the westwardly direction . I noticed that there were three lights side by side . I remember that it changed in color from orange to white or vice - versa . The next thing I remember was that I was communicating with the light telepathically . The communication went as follows : The Light : " Do you want to come now ? " ( There was no hint of pressure , just a statement . I then immediately thought about my mother to whom I had deep affection , and other unfinished business . ) I : " No , Not right now . " ( The thought just formed in my mind . There wasn 't really a dialogue . But I knew the instance the thought formed then the light was able to know it ) If I had thought affirmatively , then I am very sure that I would not have continued my life in this world . I can only speculate the course my life would have taken . After a little while , the light just faded away . I then awoke as if from a slumber . Just then a dog , not my own , gave a little startled bark , after which I became fully conscious of my surroundings . I then broke into a run as I was filled with unknown energy . I remember a car passing by on the road that connected the two blocks of house . When the car passed by me , I felt that I was nearly ten feet tall and I was towering above it . When I Home NDEs About NDEs NDE Accounts Sample NDE Accounts NDE Accounts NDE - Like Accounts Third Person Accounts Audio / Video Accounts 17 NDE Accounts from " Beyond the Light " Sample Monthly NDEs Submit your Experience More Information Resources Groups Research About Members Connect