Okay , let me start at the delightful beginning , but just a warning that it doesn 't stay delightful for long so hold onto your seats . It 's Christmas day and our family , the Venters , have our annual , unpleasant Christmas present raffle . The Christmas present raffle is where my Great Aunt Laney puts all our names in a big bright green hat . She then carefully places her hand in the hat and pulls one out . The name that she pulls out is the person who gets to open the first gift of the occasion . However , it 's a misfortune for me because I never win , ever ! Of course , each year , I was still swollen up inside with hopes of winning . With the uncertainty of winning I stood there waiting for the name to be called out . My great aunt had a scratchy voice so I could just make out the name she said and I was surprised ! She said my name ! I quickly run to the soon to be unfortunate Christmas tree and grab the largest present addressed to me . I tear it open like a gorilla eating a banana and BAM ! The present I wanted . I had been waiting all year for this . An iPhone 23 ! I throw the box with no contents inside to a disagreeable place . The CHRISTMAS TREE ! The tree comes hurtling down right onto my annoying brother , Jet . This is inhumanity ! My mother screams and runs to the phone to dial 911 . While we wait for the ambulance I am not worried so , therefore , I personalize my phone . It is hard , though , because my brother is screaming and crying . The ambulance finally arrives to our house and Jet is rushed away to the hospital with my mom and dad close behind . Instead of worrying , though , I feel delightful and play on my phone . The iPhone 23 ! It 's my day to quit ! April 1 , 2019 . I get ready for work , but instead of going to work , I go to Michael 's and get a long sheet of paper just as big as my stomach . I write on the front , " I Quit . " I stick this under my shirt and walk to my friend 's house . He does band , and lucky enough for me , five of his friends are with him practicing . I ask them , " Hey , can you guys play a ' delightful ' tune when I walk into work . I need to show my boss something special . You up for it ? " " Sure , " they all reply with some irregularities within their tones of voice . They were all very disagreeable people so it was a surprise to find that they agreed . I pull up my van into their driveway , and my friend , Jake , asks why I 'm going into his driveway . I answer by saying , " Because it 's a very unfortunate day for my boss , losing his best worker . " I smile while I say this . I 'm one of the laziest and dishonest people I know . We carefully put all the equipment into the car and drive to the hotel . I get to work early , only fearing that nobody shows up today . If nobody does , I get fired ! I didn 't want to have to impersonate everybody , and if I got a dollar for every time I fake laughed at a customer 's joke , I would be rich ; just saying , that 's a hard skill to master . Anyway , I would overglamorize everything because one horrible day , my employee and I had a horrible conversation with his friends . " You , " he says really cockily as his friend laughs unpleasantly . It was like he had been deactivated because he just fell to the floor laughing . Later , I could hear a band playing , but I couldn 't pinpoint the exact location . My history with my boss wasn 't that great , until today , when all the suffering ends . We had gotten out all the equipment and were ready to play the instruments . I waited till I got inside the lunchroom or bar and walked in following behind with music , sad music . I walked slowly to a table then climbed on it . I looked at all the faces with uncertainty because I said I was going to do this earlier . I grabbed hold of both ends of my shirt . My musicians played a high note , and then I ripped off my shirt ! In big , bold letters , it read , " I Quit . " Everyone erupted in laughter except my boss . He just looked disappointed and slouched away . I felt bad and overjoyed at the same time . I got interviewed by my friends for a while . Then I went back home , feeling great . I decide that jokes may take my mind of my worries . " Seriously , is there a ' deactivate rocket ' button around here ? " I say getting more chuckles from the riders . Maybe disloyalty toward this trip is unnecessary ; maybe this will be more of a delightful trip . Unfortunately , like all of life , the journey has its ups and downs , like the fact that I 'm afraid of heights and yet I have the audacity to enter a rocket headed into deep , cold space , and that 's because of my misfortune when it comes to completing dares . Hopefully , this " small " trip won 't dehumanize me like what might happen when returning from war . " Well , the Notide has six ships . The Lander , The Comm , The Elan , The Lank , The Sonate , and The Yann . We only have to break into one , their battleship , The Lank . Unfortunately , this is their most secure ship , as it also holds around eight million dollars , plus all their ammunition , and it is the biggest vessel , so we have to plan carefully . " The Sound continued , " There 're Notide guards traveling to and from the ship every hour , and at three and four in the afternoon , there are changes between GGE 's , where they get off and on at the exact same time . Because they are GGE 's and it is this kind of switching of guards , we won 't need to get checked in with our faces showing , and no guards will stop us on the way to our destination . This also means that we need to put on the GGE 's uniforms and take the place of the ones about to travel onto The Lank , so we will have to impersonate the GGE that we neutralize . As we all know , the GGE 's are trained to be insincere , so we have to be , too , NO exceptions . One we 're aboard , we will have to locate the GGE 's personal rooms so we can personalize passwords to get around the ship . " " This is where it gets tricky , " the Sound warned . " We will split up - who 's going with whom will be outlined later - into thee groups . One of the groups is going to the engine room where you will deactivate everything you are instructed , which you will know later , as well as the other two groups , who will have equally important jobs . Got it ? " As a final instruction , the Sound added , " Oh ! And don 't forget ; NEVER show any disloyalty or uncertainty . If there is any misfortune during the course of our plan , leave off of starboard , where a motor boat will be waiting at all times , though you will have to move fast . Now … are you ready ? " questioned the Sound . " Marissa , there are no words that can describe how much I love you , nor how I will miss you while I am away . " She squeezed my hand , " take care of Mom for me , okay ? " She pulled her arm back through the car window as my step - dad started the engine . I wasn 't going to listen to her . I started to chase after the vehicle " No ! " I shouted again . Mom gripped my arm . " Nicky ! " I screamed at the top of my lungs . She overtightened her grasp . An unpleasant feeling washed over me , knocking my blue baseball cap to the ground . Why did Dad have to take her away ? Mom looked at me and sighed , " I know . I feel the way your step - dad acted is disagreeable , but you shouldn 't - " she was interrupted by an urgent knock at the door . She started to approach it when it was opened from the other side . My job is to be a Master Thief . My friend and I steal rich and valuable items . One of the jobs I have to do is break into a man 's house that he said it is impossible to break into . He even said , " Whoever breaks into my house will get what is inside . My friend and I are making plans of how to get in . We recorded every door , window and possible entries . Tonight we were going to break in . We get to the gates of the house and look through the bars at the dark lonely house . " It 's impossible to break in ! " I impersonate the guy that said it . I hopped the fence and walked up to the door that had the keypad to unlock it . I deactivated the door and I walked in . " That was delightful ! " I muttered to myself while looking around the room . I realized that the room was just a room that had the words , " TRY AGAIN ! " spray - painted on the walls . I walked out the door and looked at all of the windows around the house . I carefully put my foot on a window sill and stepped up . After that , I looked for the gaps in the outside wall of the house . I climbed up the side of the wall to get to the window that was close to the ceiling . My friend copied me and climbed up the building . I had so much uncertainty , worrying that by climbing into this window , I was getting into another trap room . I jumped down the window and landed in the same room . It was just the same thing . I walked back through the door that I first walked in . I held my hammer in an overtightened grip while I broke the window with it . I looked in … . " THE SAME ROOM ! " I screamed , " THERE WASN ' T EVEN EVEN A WINDOW HERE BEFORE ! " " I told you not to yell ! Oh , wait , never mind ! Sure , let 's check it ! " I encouraged somewhat dishonestly because I was pretty sure it wasn 't going to work . Nevertheless , both of us climbed up onto the roof and looked down the chimney . I wished this was a disagreeable plan because I didn 't want to jump down a chimney . " One , two , three … " I said right before we jumped down . I looked over at the wall and saw the a video playing that said , " Joke 's on you ! There never was a prize ! - your lovely friend , K , " it was signed with insincerity . The video was on permanent loop , repeating over and over , and each time it did , I was growing angrier and angrier . " This isn 't over ! " I yelled at the screen . Now , I would be required to find a different strategy . I refused to believe the task was impossible . It is December 21 , 2015 . I hear the Beep come from the oven timer . I can smell the cookies , and they smell delicious . I start to personalize the holiday bags that the cookies are going in . Mo gets a blue bow , Hanna gets purple , Jordan gets magenta , and so on . I 'm carefully placing cookies in bags when I start to smell an unpleasant aroma . What is that horrible smell ? I call an inspector to inspect the house . The website I visited to find the inspector 's phone number seemed very dishonest and customer reviews of the business were filled with disloyalty . I was overcome with uncertainty based on the website , but I was in such a hurry , I didn 't even read all the fine print . The guy that came arrived in a van , and it didn 't have a company logo on it . That 's weird , I thought , and then it hit me : the guy was an imposter . I didn 't even answer the door . I looked thought the peephole in the door first to see who it is . I call the neighbors and tell them about the guy who is trying to impersonate another worker . This impersonation is unfortunate for me because my kitchen smells really bad . I 'm going to need a lot of air freshener . The neighbors run over and come through our connected gate , entering through the back door . We stay in the kitchen so the imposter doesn 't see us . We call the police . The police say if the guy is still here in five minutes , call back . Five minutes go by , and we call again . The police are on their way , which is delightful to hear . We walk out to the backyard for a minute to check the fence and to take a break from the awful smell . We have nothing better to do while we wait . When we finally hear the police sirens , we walk out front , and the man was still there . I hear a policeman say something about immaturity . Then he stops talking and starts to arrest the man , but then the imposter explains . The man is from FedEx . I needed to sign for a package and because he believed nobody was home , he was going to be kind enough to wait for me to get home so the package wasn 't stolen . It turns out the FedEx logo is on the other side of the van . Oops ! This isn 't any ordinary dinosaur I 'm talking about . First of all , it is disproportional in length and width . It is fat and short . Second of all , it is a prehistoric animal that has very unpleasant behavior . He is an unfortunate little beast to handle , but he is a great dancer ! It could be disagreeable to you that the dino enters dance shows . He carefully struts in his tutu down the aisle . Although he can be dressed in an overglamorized gown , he doesn 't brag too much . However , he is extremely immature when it comes to behavior . His dances are very delightful to watch , though . His friendship is pretty much always fake because he can be very dishonest and insincere . Since he is a dinosaur , there could be some conflict of inequality if he wants to perform a live dance show . He was dishonest . He was unpleasant . He was not delightful . He was . . … . Overglamerized ? ? ? That 's right ; an overglamorized guy . He was Jerald . Dishonest . He told a told a terrible lie . Jerald told the whole school that he had a " girlfriend " named Chelsie who lived in Florida . He talked about her irregularly but made her sound beautiful . Whenever he wanted to leave and go out of the house Jerald made an excuse about Chelsie 's family . Unpleasant . He was never fun to be around when he ate . Jerald stuck his face in the food and ate like a pig . It seems like an alien came down from space and sucked the human of human being out of him . Now he was more like a shriveled up kidney bean instead of human being . His pig eating habits dehumanized him . Overglamorized . Jerald wore lots mascara and unicorn earrings . He also wore gold bracelets and silver rings . Jerald had a whole entire closet full make - up and accessories . He received mani - pedis every weekend . ( You can 't disagree he does choose the best colors for his nails . ) Watch your back , Jerald might come to your school ( he always gets expelled , so it 's a possibility ) . The most immature man ever might prank you . You just wait . This middle - aged woman walks out in a white , bedazzled , over - glamorized outfit that is like a female Elvis outfit ! I think , Let 's see what she will show us . She starts out with some crazy speech to suck up to us , " It is such an honor to be here with y ' all tonight , thank y ' all for allowin ' me to entertain y ' all tonight ! " Holly starts off in some country accent . One hour and forty - five minutes later , she starts talking like she is from Great Britain " It is quite exquisite to be here tuh - night , I , at first , had an unpleasant feeling that you guys wouldn 't like my 317 page long speech , but you guys are doing quite well , my mateys . " I think Holly Greetwell gets our hopes up , and then leads us to misfortune . When she is done with her insanely long speech , she goes right into doing a bad impersonation of Elvis . I feel that her act is so bad that she is treating us with inequality ! After an hour of Elvis , she starts talking in German ! The only thing I can make out is … " I really wanted - tried to teach you about prehistory using Elvis as an example . I hope you enjoyed ! " Everyone started clapping and cheering , I am not sure if they are showing insincerity and just pretending , or if they actually like it . A couple of people are looking at the people that truly like it thinking , if you like it , I think that opinion is totally disagreeable . I think , How rude ! ! ! Take Oxi - Clean Kaboom for an example . People sell stuff on T . V and even the advertisers don 't know what the product truly is . The words say it all , and the words say , " This stuff may clean things . " In prehistory , they didn 't even want this stuff . I don 't know what the fuss is about these things . If whatever needs Oxi - Clean looks bad and people don 't use Oxi - clean , they should just replace the item by buying a new one . So , say you see an ad for the Food Pellet 2519 ( lasagna - flavored ) . It is like , " What the heck is this stuff ? ! " That can be very disagreeable with your stomach and your wallet . It is like some food companies are impersonating awesome restaurants with radioactive substances . There is inequality between food and " food " for now " food " is winning because all people seem to like cheap things . T . V commercials need to be deactivated so that people don 't buy what , let 's just call it , that . Although the boxes for those poor - quality products are really cool , they overglamorize what can 't be glamorized . A person once said , " Don 't judge a book by its cover . " This is true for this kind of " food " or televised products . These companies care more about money than our misfortune . The advertisers ' insincerity about their products is unbelievable ! These people are dishonest about everything , even as they try to personalize the sales pitch . They are even dishonest about being dishonest ! A man named Dr . Michael S . Sultan stole a certain rocket from a certain someone - which was me - and was planning to launch it into the middle of the earth , therefore making the world explode . This , of course , would be a serious misfortune . We needed to deactivate the rocket before it launched . I know this isn 't an irregularity for almost every story EVER , but the bad dudes just wouldn 't give it a rest . " Did she say yes ? " Nathan asked . Nathan saw Dr . Sultan steal the rocket . He had wanted to help from the beginning . I nodded and grabbed Tanya 's hand . When I was done , Tanya looked amazing . Her hair was pulled out in a tight bun , and her dress was dark red and glittery . Tanya was a little overglamorized , if you ask me . I think Nathan agreed . " This is inequality ! " she cried as we drove away . Tanya was going to try to impersonate a fancy French lady at a gala , where " coincidentally " she would find a man who worked for Dr . Sultan and try to squeeze information out of him . If he became suspicious , we would just tie him up and interrogate him . Tanya 's voice came in through my earpiece . Tanya kicked through the door of our van about ten minutes later . Nathan and I took the sack she was holding ; inside was Dr . Sultan 's worker . We put him in a chair . I personalize myself my way and don 't care what people think , but they do tease me . I feel the opposite of delightful when I walk to school . I feel the sadness that people make me feel for loving reading and reading so much . After three years , I try so hard to hide and not to be seen at school . I carefully hide at recess , and if I can , I go to the library . You would think that kids are sweet and nice . They are nothing like this . If they do see me , they dehumanize me . They take my heart and happy feelings . I have an unfortunate past with being bullied , and it hurts . I overtighten my feelings by ignoring it . We are all filled with immaturity , but we are all growing up . Let 's change this past history , and let 's not have dishonest or disagreeable people . Instead , let 's have love . It was a total streak of misfortune . It all started when I carefully tried to deactivate a bomb and it … . No , I 'm just kidding ; it all started when I wanted to learn my friend 's secret , which wasn 't a secret . I 'm just saying it was no big deal . It was a total irregularity . I mean , he said he had a secret , and there was a conversation before , but he was teasing , in a way . I was being very unintelligent thinking I would want to know the secret , which wasn 't a secret . By the way , it was this : I 'm his best friend . I started yelling at my friend because someone - I can say that there was nothing but insincerity - said the secret was gossip about me . I really believed it was gossip about me because my friend and I had known each other our whole lives . While we were arguing , someone tried to say both of us did something disagreeable and to forgive each other . I wish I was really thinking , but I wasn 't , and so I kept arguing when I knew my friend was trying to stop the objectionable conversation . I feel like he was trying to impersonate one of those people that defuse arguments and come out on top . Unfortunately , that just made me madder . So , this is where to me the most unpleasant thing happened : He said he wasn 't my friend anymore . To me , that was like a total smash because we had been friends for an extremely long time , and we were almost brothers . I know the kid who was trying to mediate the argument was trying to revitalize our friendship , but it didn 't work . I was as furious at my friend as he was at me . The inhumanity I felt was overbearing . I couldn 't stand losing my best friend . I felt inhuman myself because it was my fault we weren 't friends . Then I realized this was the thirty - fourth time we 'd had an argument like this ; we would forget why we felt mad at each other by tomorrow , and that made me feel so much better . Once upon a time , there lived an unpleasant and disagreeable teacher who loved to dehumanize the students . Her name was Ms . Immaturity . All of her students loathed her and thought that she was a horrible teacher because when you were not talking , she would yell at you , and when you were talking , she would not seem to care . The students were saddened that it was their misfortune to have Ms . Immaturity for a teacher . One day , Ms . Immaturity 's class had a substitute . All of the students agreed to impersonate perfect students so they would have a good day , and it was very easy because this substitute was the best sub that any class could ever have . The substitute was very delightful , and she made nobody feel as if they were disloyal , unlike what happened when Ms . Immaturity was in charge . The next day at school , the students were surprised when Ms . Immaturity said , " So , let 's do art instead of this boring math . " All of the kids had smiles on their faces , and they were quite shocked by this suggestion . When they were shouting with joy , Ms . Immaturity didn 't even yell at them . When lunchtime , arrived , Ms . Immaturity held the class in for a couple of minutes , and she finally told them her big secret . " All right , so I was the substitute yesterday . I was in disguise , and I was trying to find out if you preferred the sub 's teaching to mine , and you did , " she said in shame . All of the children looked at Ms . Immaturity and clapped to applaud her courage and her change of teaching style . The students also started jumping up and down , and Ms . Immaturity was highly shocked , but also pleased that she would have a second chance . Then everybody ran to her and gave her a group hug . As everybody embraced her , Ms . Immaturity though to herself , " This is the best day of my life . " Once upon a time , there was a little orphan boy who decided to sneak onto a train and move to a different town . His life had been full of misfortune and his future was full of uncertainty . The unfortunate little boy got run out of town because the other kids would make fun of him and play mean tricks to dehumanize him . He had discovered that the people who ran the orphanage had lied to him about his parents being dead and that they were really alive somewhere . He wanted to find them so he packed his backpack and left out the orphanage window , careful to overtighten the knots in the sheets he used to climb from the roof . He was excited and not feeling bad about his disloyalty to the people who had lied to him all his life . Because of the boy 's immaturity , he did not realize that the train he got onto in the dark was a CIRCUS TRAIN ! The crew welcomed him and let him travel with them . They let him feed the animals and help set up the tent when they stopped in a new town . Eventually the crew members discovered that the boy had a talent for impersonating people from the audience . They gave him his own act that he was allowed to personalize any way he wanted . The orphan boy was finally happy , and he found his new life delightful . It was a misfortune that the monster dehumanized the people . The monster was disagreeable , unpleasant , and dishonest . It was unfortunate for anyone to cross his path . Many people would carefully avoid him . The monster was also known to overtighten his grip on his victims . People with too much immaturity and uncertainty would seek out the monster to find out the truth about his vicious behavior . It was another one of those days when it was not quite Christmas , but getting close . You and your family were putting up personalized decorations and sipping candy cane cocoa . It was a day of absolute joy , a time for giving ! Until … SHE … came ! Giving wasn 't even close to being in the thinking range ! At first , I was ecstatic about getting a new baby sister . I was carefully prepping her new bedroom with pastel pinks and vibrant greens . I was counting down the days until my mom was expected to deliver . December 27th was the day we were anticipating the arrival of our new bundle of joy ! Being the only child and all , it was not necessarily delightful news ! If only , baby - to - be Britton , could have waited two more days , it would have been the best year of my life . I thought Christmas miracles were real . Obviously , not ! When Christmas was over and done with , then we would be ready for the new baby misfortune of the family . Well , at least I would be ! Three days early , and we were at the hospital . My worst nightmare had become a reality ! As I paced around the maternity floor in the local hospital , I queried to myself , hmmm … How 's mom ? How 's dad ? How am I ? I should be in that room , calming my mother down ! All these thoughts were clamoring around in my head . Baby - to - be , Britton Nikki Liam , was on her way . Why on Christmas Eve ; why ? ! " Layla , wake up , " my mother said in a melodic tone , nestling Britton in her arms . Maybe Britton can take my mom 's attention from me , but she cannot take away our Christmas traditions ! I know I am being immature and a little disloyal to my sister and all , but it is not like I am dehumanizing Britton . I should try to avoid her and ignore her cute , little , gurgling baby sounds . " So Layla , how about we go to Grandma 's house so the family can meet Britton , " my mom asked , in a I - know - the - answer - is - no - but - I 'll - ask - it - anyway tone . I couldn 't believe this ; my mom 's attention was gone , our family traditions were gone , and my family 's attentions on me … were GONE ! As I solemnly trudged into the new , decked - out , " baby proof " minivan , I spotted a bumper sticker . No it can 't be ! I surmised to myself . It 's a " Baby on Board " bumper sticker ! By this point , I didn 't care what happened . Unfortunately , Layla Windrup Liam was now known as Layla the Ignored Child . " Remember not to overtighten the car seat , " my mother bellowed as she was jogging to our car with the Christmas presents . Those were supposed to be under our tree , waiting to be revealed ! Now , I would have to open my presents in front of my greedy cousins who always seemed to covertly snatch my gifts ! " Ohhhhh , she 's adorable , the cutest angel ever , " Aunt Chelsea cooed . She is my favorite aunt . Well , at least , she used to be . I was left alone , sitting in the corner by myself , the whole evening of Christmas . I was so desperate to get attention I was willing to try and impersonate Britton . Squeak , slide , squeak ! rumbled Britton 's too cute Ho ! Ho ! Ho ! holiday socks . I found myself holding Britton in my arms , and surprisingly , fifteen minutes with her was not so bad ! We actually bonded ! What really won me over and gave me a change of heart was when I looked right into Britton 's big , brown eyes and realized they looked just like mine . Then she gave me the sweetest , drooly smile I had ever seen . Now I knew the true meaning of being a big sister . Maybe Christmas miracles are real . Just then a voice over the P . A . system said , " Everyone , the raffle is for an evening with Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber . You will also get free copies of their first albums and an autographed poster . " We ran to the raffle booth to enter . The principal came and pulled a ticket from the basket . He walked over to the microphone and said , " Catherine , you have won an evening with Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber . You may take three friends with you . " Catherine shrieked and said , " I won ! I can 't believe it ! I 'm so excited ! " It was wonderful for Catherine , but unfortunate for all of the other contestants who had lost . Catherine carefully walked up to the stage and took the certificate they gave her . I got up and pretended to impersonate her , just as a small joke . Then we went to do our prehistory homework . Kate , Catherine , Mia , and I went to the evening with Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber . We got everything they promised us . Many of our classmates were unpleasant because we won , and they didn 't . Nevertheless , it was a truly unforgettable evening . I am the oldest of my family . Well , that is if you can use the world oldest to describe a ten - year - old , but I am the oldest of my three sisters and of my family because we are without parents . So , yes , I am the oldest . Without parents , it is my responsibility to take care of a seven - year - old and a five - year - old who doesn 't talk . This is an unequaled challenge when no safe home is provided . I don 't want to be dishonest with you ; growing up without parents is an unpleasant chapter in our lives . Our misfortune started about a year ago in Leaf Stone , Ohio , when our parents seemed to have run away leaving only a note in their place . The note read as follows : At the time , reading was a dream . I could only understand our parents ' names . I asked strangers to read the note to me carefully , and when they have finished , Samantha 's and Sally 's faces look at me with uncertainty , while my face is filled with tears and sniffles . I memorize the reading of strangers , impersonating them until it is as though I can read the note myself . The letter appears to be a good - bye . It 's the first day of summer , and for most people , summer is freedom from jail , otherwise known as school , but for Beth Mac ( that 's me ! ) and her family , it 's the other way around . Aside from the fact that our family craves school , we are also " science geeks , " as people put it so inhumanly , so one would only guess that we would want to escape from all the spiteful comments about our queer passion , but life without science is too unbearable to think of . We 'd feel oddly disproportionate with no science to learn , and because of this , we , as a family , hadn 't gone on a vacation for twelve whole years ! So that is how my dad came up with the brilliant idea to go camping for an entire week . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Shuffle , thump , crunch , THUD ! Owwwwwwwww ! That is me , stubbing my poor toe on a rock , for the five - hundredth time . Soon , it grows dark , and we switch on our flashlights , but we 're so high up in the mountains , our flashlights deactivate , leaving us in pure velvet darkness . My dad instructs us not to decentralize while he goes off to find a safe place to set up camp . I 'm wondering how we 're going to set up camp in this pitch darkness when he comes back saying he has found a cave that will have to serve as our shelter . Now , the first thing that pops into mind is that bears are known for their industrial strength . The second thought that flits through my brain is that this is an irregular situation , so what the heck am I supposed to do ? We cannot very well run for it , neither can we run into the cave . Luckily , my mom overglamorized for the hike - she had been so excited for the surprised vacation she had dressed in heels and a dress ! She is a quick thinker and throws one of her heels at the bear . It sails through the air and …… . misses the bear . I lunge for the other shoe , aim , and smack the bear square on the nose ! Then we run for it , not stopping until we are over the river and out of the woods . After this fun experience , I don 't think I 'll ever go camping again , at least not at night , and definitely not without a pair of high heels handy . Who knew that they could be such a handy - dandy survival tool ? ! I also think I 'll be more grateful that I 'm still alive , and I won 't complain about the inequalities of not having this or that . Yes , I 'd say I 've learned a lot from this experience , but I still wonder why it had to happen . My mom really liked that shoe ! It is unfortunate that my sister talks on the phone all day with her friends , discussing what she is planning to wear to school the next day . They talk about personalized jeans and overtightened boots . When my sister gets off the phone , she has a delightful smile on her whole face because she and her friends have all picked out their outfits for the next day . Just as I predicted , when the car pulled up to school , my sister looked at her friends with uncertainty . They were all wearing the same clothes as she was . Her friends had all impersonated her . As my sister cried , she said that all her friends were dehumanizing her . It was another gloomy night in the settlement of Gloom Ville , and I was about to read my young child her less than delightful bedtime fairy tale . This one was called The Unfortunate Win and was written by a very dishonest man by the name of John Bleak . I started reading the extraordinary yet dreadful tale in a monotone voice to my young baby girl : " It was the night before the annual chess tournament , " I stated in a quite serious manner , " and I was to battle the most fierce and horrifying chess player ever ; his name wasBafflgonk the Gonk Troll . " I thought I sounded pretty realistic and cool . " The next day was the outfit - picking - out day , and I would have to choose from among many different things ; maybe I could dress as a medieval warrior or maybe a remarkable dragon suit . Just so many choices of things to of whom to dress as and impersonate . That night in my feather warrior suit , I was getting ready for the contest . Of course , Bafflgonk just had to wear the INSANELY overtightened , super - dehumanized suit of horror and wonderment ! ' Urgh ! ' I uttered to myself as he entered the plain and ugly room with a crowd of trolls surrounding him . When the game started , I was in the lead with two of his players taken and none of mine captured . " I spoke the words carefully because I couldn 't believe the good guy was winning ! After all ; Evil will always triumph over Good . So I kept on : ' Checkmate ! ' " I was overjoyed and blissfully happy for the character . I also soon realized that I had been reading to myself as my child slept lazily ! I also started to speculate about the reason why the good guy won instead of the bad one … Maybe it was only that very dishonest author named John Bleak after all . It all started a year ago , when I didn 't even know who I was anymore . I 'll take you back and tell you the story of how I was impersonated and my identity was stolen . I was living the life anyone would have dreamed of ; I glamorized everything , and I was a perfectionist . Let 's say I was a superstar , but one day , I got into a plane crash and was the only one who survived . That 's when everything went wrong . The pilot was hired to bomb the plane specifically to get me killed so the person who paid the pilot would be able to steal my identity . It 's when I landed in the ocean , though , when I panicked . I thought I was going to die , but I didn 't give up in case there were some nearby sailors . " California , maybe ? That 's where I last remember being . But , everything else is a blur . I can 't even remember my name ! " I said hysterically . " What he means is that we 're sorry for the unfortunate event you 've recently been in , and we 'll help you find your family . We 'll file a police report , ask if someone 's searching for you , " the dad said in a gentle tone . I nodded in agreement . A couple days later , we were still in search of my family , but there appeared to be no missing persons in the area . I gasped ; I had just remembered I had my ID in my pocket before the crash ! I took it out , crinkled and damaged because of the crash , but it said I was Sandra Sora . I also found a piece of paper that had my home phone number on it , so I called it . " Wrong answer . I 'm the real Sandra , who almost died in a plane crash . Was it you who ordered someone to crash the plane ? " I asked . " Sorry , I need to go ; we 'll meet later . " That 's when the line went dead . I went to a police department and asked an officer if he could track the phone number I had called , and it was a good thing he said he would without asking to many questions because I had a pretty unpleasant reason for needing the call traced . " You 're in on it , too ! This is inhuman ! This world is turning upside down ! " I shouted . I tried slamming the door behind me for dramatic effect , but the door just closed carefully with a light close . I grunted and strutted away in frustration . " Meet me at the coffee shop to the left of you , " and she hung up . There was no question about whom that could be . Should I go ? I think it 's disagreeable of her for her to just call and hang up , but I must go or else I could regret this . " How insincere of you ; well , I guess it doesn 't matter . Now it 's time for business and don 't interrupt . Nobody arranged for you to be in a plane crash . We are agents . I had to pretend to be you in case something like this happened , which it did . So , it was my duty to take your place because we all thought you had died . You were on a mission to go to another country and be a spy - " " Well , I 'm done with this business . I quit . I don 't want to do that , " I said in a low tone , and marched out the door , gone from my past life for good . Timmy Johnson was the world 's biggest superhero fan ever . He loved everything about superheroes . Sometimes he thought he was an actual hero . He also loved how these heroes fought crime and inequality . They always defeated the villain and then got the girl . Timmy just had so much fun admiring heroes . Soon Timmy fell asleep in his bed with a comic book in his hands . All of a sudden , a rumbling noise shook him awake . He jumped out of bed , and in a split second , he noticed he was wearing a superhero cape , complete with his very own initials on the back . " T . J . , " he read aloud . Then he ran to his parents ' room , kicking the door open , but no one was there . Then he noticed he was getting taller and bigger . He had giant muscles ! This was an irregularity ! He was happy . He ran downstairs and blasted through the door with his superpowers . " Beep , beep , creak ! " Timmy turned around to see what the loud ruckus was . It was a giant robot ! It just pounded his house with its colossal , metal , disproportionate foot . It was going to crush the whole city to smithereens , so Timmy had to decentralize the robot 's location and deactivate it from smashing everything . Timmy realized he had to find his superhero headquarters to figure out how to stop the robot . He found out he could fly and flew to where he thought his headquarters might be located because after all , every superhero has a headquarters ! Finally , Timmy reached his headquarters and loaded up with supplies he would need to destroy the robot . Then he took off to the central part of town to battle the metal monster . When Timmy reached the giant robot , he realized how much inhumanity it had ! It was killing everything in its path ! It did not care one bit . So , Timmy decided to destroy it right there and then ! First he flew to the back of the robot 's head and disconnected some wires . The robot noticed Timmy , and smacked him like a fly . Timmy fell to the ground . Timmy got up and blasted a hole through the robot 's side . The robot fell to the ground with a large thump ! Timmy had a good look at the overglamorized robot . As he looked , he realized he had just saved a girl from his class from being killed . The girl ran to Timmy and gave him a hug . Everyone clapped and cheered . Timmy was ecstatic . In the midst of his joy , Timmy heard a familiar voice calling . Once upon a time , there was a little girl named Isabella . She was unpleasant , devious , and dishonest . Despite these problems , Isabella wanted a new bike for Christmas . On Christmas morning , the uncertainty about whether she had improved herself enough in time caused nervousness in Isabella , but the miraculous happened . Isabella received a bike she could personalize and customize herself . She made it pink with purple accents . The horrible butler impersonated the unfortunate prince . He demonstrated his disloyalty and his immaturity by trying to make the prince look bad . The butler also tried to dehumanize the prince 's subjects . When dressing himself , the butler overtightened his belt and to his misfortune , it made the butler cough whenever he spoke . The butler tried to personalize the prince 's silver with his own initials . The subjects behaved with uncertainty when they saw this change . They revolted against this butler and put the prince back in power . After the prince got back in power , everyone had a delightful time . I was playing my new cherry red 64 Stratocaster guitar , trying to find the right sound . I was thinking of getting it engraved so that I could personalize my new guitar . Then , boom ! My amp burst into flames , which caught my attention . My guitar slipped out of my hands , and I heard a loud crack . Minutes passed as a fire fighter , who had rushed in , lifted the guitar off of my foot . They put out the fire and carried me to the back of an ambulance . I woke up in the emergency room of the hospital , and I realized my misfortune . Then a nurse walked into the room , and she told me that I had broken my foot when I dropped the guitar on it . I had to get surgery on my foot right away , which was unfortunate , but at least it would help me . While I was in the pre - operation room , the nurses provided me with delightful food . They gave me shrimp , crackers , and milk . As I was eating my food , I noticed a strange - looking doctor right next to me . The doctor crept around the corner , and some police officers walked up to me and asked me if I had seen a strange man walking around . I told them I saw someone weird dressed like a doctor . The police pulled out their guns and blew their whistles as they chased after the fake doctor . They caught him and dragged him to the center of the hall . It turned out the man decided to impersonate a doctor . The impersonator was actually a dishonest thief who had robbed a candy store and then dressed like a doctor so no one would recognize him . The cops handcuffed the fake doctor and took him outside . The man started to laugh at the police officers , and I could not believe the immaturity of his behavior . The man also started to yell at the cops about racial inequality . The officers were tempted to tease and laugh at the man , but they were professional , and they did not dehumanize their suspect . It turned out that the man was a former employee of the hospital , and he showed extreme disloyalty to the hospital by impersonating a doctor . After a couple of hours , it was time for me to get my foot surgery . Seeing all of the tools in the operating room made me nervous , and the smell of disinfectant was unpleasant . The nurses gave me some medicine so I would not feel any pain during the operation , but I had some uncertainty about whether or not the medicine would work . Even though I did not really trust the doctors , I was not disagreeable in my behavior toward them . The anesthesiologist put the mask over my mouth , but he was careful not to overtighten the straps . I fell asleep , and then the doctors carefully began the surgery . They took one of the tools and did a bone graph on my left toe . After about an hour , they sutured my toe , and I rested in a bed for a little while . I woke up and saw one of the doctors walk by , and he looked so old it was like he was born during prehistory in the prehistoric time before written language . Then the doctors said it was okay for me to go home . My friend happily drove me home so I could play my guitar !