By 8 : 30 today , I was highly annoyed and in a bad mood . The morning was not psychotic , but it wasn 't going smoothly . This is spirit week at school , and today is 80 's day . This is not a good idea for elementary kids , they don 't get the 80 's ! ! Or appreciate it . I pinned the kids pants , the girls both wore my jackets , a letter jacket and a tennis jacket I have from high school ( class of 87 ! ! ) . They looked fine . But Hezekiah didn 't like the shirt I picked out for him . I told him to wear any shirt . He got really moody and sulky . Couldn 't get him out of it . As I was making eggs , Raven , the 16 year old I mentor , called me as she had missed the bus . My kids were fighting in the background , I told her to figure something out and that if she was being irresponsible , she needed to find a way to school and said goodbye . I have a meeting with her today at 12 : 45 and with her school counselor to talk about her grades and credits . Shortly after this call , I realized it was about time for my kids to get their snow gear to head for the bus and Hezekiah still wasn 't dressed . I yelled at him to get a shirt on and started yelling at everyone . Then I gave up and said I would drive them to school . I called Raven and said I would give her a ride to school too and to get ready as we were leaving shortly . The kids were getting their coats and stuff on so I went out to start the van and brush the snow off . Akila was dinging around with the stupid fake nails she was now wearing on her finger nails . I told her to stop it and take them off as she can 't wear them to school ( she did yesterday as I wasn 't on top of it and didn 't notice ) . I finished brushing the snow off the car and the kids weren 't coming . I went in to get them and Akila was dinging around with gluing on a nail again . I lost it . The other 3 kids went out to get in the car , and I tried to get Akila to put the one finger nail down that she was trying to glue on . We ended up in a chase around the dining room table . I thought I was going to blow out a vein I was yelling so much . MichaelPosted by I know that I have written several times about Angie and all the time she spends with Akila . Typically , she takes Akila out every other week . Last night , was the third day in a row with Akila . Wow . Saturday and Sunday , she was helping with all 4 kids , last night she brought Akila to a movie and dinner . On Sunday , Akila was pretty snotty and rude with Angie , last night she was great . Angie brought her to the dollar store and let her pick out two things . Of course , Akila came home with fake nails , but they were fake toe nails . Angie said she tried to steer her to other areas , but I know how Akila works . I also knew there would be no sleep until these dumb things were on her toes . Even when I explained that she couldn 't wear them to school because they wouldn 't stay on with shoes . None of this matters to her FASD brain , she just can 't comprehend what I was saying , nor does she have the patience to wait . The nails were not stick ons , and they did not come with glue . So Akila found the glue stick . She has used this with fake finger nails in the past with some success . It obviously didn 't work . So she got the Elmer 's glue . We worked on them for about 15 minutes , and then I got her to bed . She didn 't get her Melatonin until after 8 pm when she got home , so it would be awhile before it kicked in to help her fall asleep . She walked up to bed on her heels . I had to get a pillow for her feet . I also had to carefully put her blanket on her without touching her feet which usually have to be tucked in . She was so concerned of the toe nails falling off , that she actually stayed in bed , didn 't move , and fell asleep fairly shortly after that . Here are a couple of pictures of her , and her lovely toe nails . So I thought we were doing pretty well , she fell asleep ; until 4 am . She woke up at 4 am , probably to go to the bathroom , or just had a moment of wakefulness . She remembered the exciting stupid nails on her toes , most of them were probably off and on the bed , so she got up . For the rest of the day . So did I pretty much since about evIf this video works , I will try to put another one on someday soon . Akila got ahold of the camera and was videotaping herself while I made dinner . Several very interesting clips . P . S . I know that in the top picture , the wallpaper is still not removed in Akila 's room . UGH ! ! ! Did I mention that when we bought this house , every inch of the house but one bedroom was wallpaper , even hallways . The bathroom remodel is almost finished and then I will start on Akila 's wallpaper . Or should I say , I will finish it . I got a funny call last Wednesday while Akila was at dance class . The teacher called me to say that Akila was having a hard time with her Asthma and needed her inhaler right away . Being the sensitive mom that I am , I started to laugh hysterically . I told the teacher that Akila doesn 't have Asthma , to tell her to resume dancing , and that I would see her in an hour . I thought this was so funny . She has told several people this over the last week or so . My assumption is that some student in her class has been having to use his or her inhaler and Akila has noticed the attention they have received . Nice . Like she doesn 't have enough medical challenges already . Our children go to Children 's Clinic in Minneapolis for all of their medical needs . We have a Pediatrician I absolutely love , Dr . Paula Mackey . She invited me to be on a committee last month that is called something like a Medical Home team or something like that . It is a state funded program that is working with clinics to help them to better serve families with special needs kids . I have been to two meetings and they are really interesting . The teams from the different clinics from around the state , are suppose to come up with little ideas to improve their care , put them into action , research the results , and report them at the conferences so all the teams can hear how it worked . The project my clinic started ( before I was on the team ) , is to send dictated notes to special needs families after a visit to the Dr . , so we would have a very detailed summary of the appt and all that was talked about . What a great idea , Akila hasn 't had an appt . since they started this , but it is a great idea . I talked about having some kind of way of giving the front desk staff info to give the nurse and / or Dr . before they call you back . Like info that I don 't want them to say the word shot or injection during the appt . ( for the opposite reason that most would need this info relayed , Akila throws rages if she is not going to get a shot ) ; or that I would prefer that they not bring us iPosted by Our neighborhood is under siege . Our car was stolen two weeks ago ( yes , the same Honda Civic that was stolen a year ago ) and turned up last week , about 14 blocks away from our house . It is currently at the garage getting a new steering column put in . Yesterday , our next door neighbor , Grandma Kathy , had her house burglarized - big time . She called us around 7 pm and said it seemed like her house had been trashed . I teased her that she thought I had been over there with my kids ( I have been washing her windows for the last several weeks and go over there during the day sometimes ) . I went over there right away and she called the police . Her house had been totally ransacked . They had taken all of her kitchen drawers out and dumped them on the floor , and they did the same in her bedroom . You couldn 't even walk . They stole her brand new Imac computer , some jewelry and other random things . And made a huge mess . The police who responded were very nice and were at her house for quite awhile . We had to wait for the crime scene staff to come to do fingerprinting , so it took a long time . We ended up having a lot of time to shoot the breeze with the two officers . And somehow , FASD came up . Ha . My friend Juli gets sick of me talking about it with everybody , but I don 't care . I had a captured audience , and we had a good conversation . It was evident to me that they knew little to nothing about FASD . I told the office that in a few years , they would more than likely get to know our family well . As I told him about Akila , and FASD behaviors , he asked what I would do , how to deal with it . We had a really good conversation . He seemed kind of blown away . Back to our neighborhood . A lady at the end of our block was burglarized at the end of last week , and she had some kind of expensive jewelery and lost about $ 35 , 000 worth of stuff . Holy cow . The police told me there had been 3 similar incidents on the block behind us , and a house one block away was broken into yesterday but the thieves ran when the alarm went off . All of this is happeninPosted by I was just reading Torina 's blog and she made me think of something I have wanted to write about . Akila also has Oppositional Defiant Disorder and we have found that one of the most successful ways to get her to do something , is by asking or telling her to do the opposite . This can sometimes work with any kid , but it can often work really well with a child like Akila . For example , every school morning , Akila gets ready in our bedroom and watches a little TV . Just to keep her separate from the other kids and to keep her calm . I bring up her meds to her in a little cup with some water , set it down by her , and tell her that she needs to wait and take it after I make my bed . I then make my bed , watching her out of the eyes in the back of my head . She takes the meds every time , and then when I 'm done , I yell at her to hurry up and take it . I then am " surprised " to discover that she has taken it already . You would think this would wear off , but it has worked all year , nearly every day . FASD brains are amazing . On most days , I will go downstairs and yell up to her that when I come up next , I will want her to get dressed . This then makes her motivated to get dressed right away so I will be surprised when I come up . And it is more effective if as I am walking up the stairs , I am coarsely warning her that I need her to get dressed right away . And once again , i am so surprised when I come into my room . I feel like it is when they are babies , and at some point , you get really sick of playing peek - a - boo , but they could play it forever , long after you 're bored with it . That is how I feel . Yet , I love it , because I love the end result . No power struggles , and a fairly calm morning . That is my goal . A calm morning . They have been going pretty well this school year , and for that , I am very thankful . Last night was dance . The kids get home from school at 3 : 35 and try to leave by 4 : 00 for dance , which is about a 25 minute drive . Akila got her dance clothes on and I was getting snacks ready for the ride . I even had Cheetos , which I have refused to purchase for a long time due to prior issues . Each week before dance , Akila wants to stop at a gas station and buy Cheetos , or some kind of treat . I think we did this once , my mistake ! ! ! So needless to say , we often have a major rage over this . Yesterday , she came downstairs with her dance clothes on and two quarters that Michael had given her this weekend for shoveling . She shoveled without being asked to and did a great job . Well she wanted to stop at the gas station to buy something . I told her no , I had Cheetos , we didn 't need to , didn 't have enough time , it wasn 't enough to even buy anything anyway . Well , this didn 't matter . Major meltdown . Major . She wouldn 't leave the house and get in the car . I had a brief moment of thinking we would just skip dance then . It was brief . Dance is for 3 hours , and she does really well once she is there . It is the getting her there that is the problem . We have a dance studio about 8 blocks from our house in Minneapolis , but we drive to Bloomington for free dance since I work part - time at the studio . I finally got her in the van , she was sobbing and raging . Often , this will just last the first 5 or 10 minutes , which doesn 't sound long . But trust me , it is . Yesterday , it lasted the entire drive , which took about 30 minutes . She threw everything at me that was in range , and swung her teddy bear up to hit me while I was driving . I had to pull off the highway and wait a bit until she could calm down . The entire drive , I just prayed , tried to stay calm ( which I failed at a few times ) , and kept telling myself that I would have a 3 hour break if I could just get her there ) . I of course ended up having to take the money away from her . I told her multiple times that if she could not calm down that I would have to take the money from her and nPosted by We went to church on Saturday night , at Bethlehem Baptist where we use to belong . Akila was begging to go to the church where she was dedicated so decided to give it a try . There is no children 's church during the service , so the kids stay with us the entire 1 1 / 2 hours . In the past , this has not worked well with Akila . To be honest , we were nervous . It went pretty well . For some reason , Akila was very obsessed with Pastor Piper , which man he was , where he was sitting , what he was going to say , etc . After the service , she went up front to see what was going on . They invite people up to be prayed with , or to speak with a Pastor or elder . Akila wanted to talk to Pastor Piper and I couldn 't talk her out of it . There was a long line . Pastor Kenny was also up front and I told Akila how when she was a baby , we went to his house all the time for small group . She decided she wanted to talk with him . She was telling him how she has Turner Syndrome , has a growth problem , had her eyes dilated ( which was more than 6 months ago ) , and she would have went on and on if I had let her . It was nice to talk with Kenny . We then left and went to Perkins where kids eat free on Saturday nights , and everyone was hungry ! Shortly after we arrived , we realized what a bad idea it was . Akila was in overdrive , as hyper as I have seen her in a long time ; and she knew it . She couldn 't sit still , wanted to be up and dancing around , was being very loud . And then something put her over the edge . She saw that at a table not too far from us , Pastor Piper was there and eating dinner with some other church members . You would have thought the Jonah 's Brothers were in the restaurant . She went nuts . She wanted to go talk to him , she couldn 't believe he was there , and she kept on repeating that over and over and over . I took her for a walk , tried to distract her until the food finally came . The food came , she ate a bit , and Michael couldn 't stand it anymore and brought her out to the car . The other kids and I finished up quickly and we left . Michael and I realPosted by I have been a bad blogger lately . Too much to do , too little time . We are in the midst of getting our bathroom remodeled , and it has been a zoo . Should be done by end of Monday , I pray . I can 't tell you how sick of taking baths I am . Enough on that . Akila was on edge this past weekend , and it wasn 't ' fun . Sunday was Zeke 's birthday , my baby turned 6 and boy was he excited ! He got to choose where we went for lunch and he chose Godfathers . Akila was not pleased with this choice and she made it known . It is about a 10 or 15 minute drive , and I think she honestly called me a " stupid freakin woman " between 6 - 7 times in the car . This was after I had heard it many times in the morning ( by the end of the day , it was no less than 40 times ) . Michael was of course , a " stupid freakin man " . I dread the day when freakin changes to the other f word choice , and I don 't mean frickin . I was driving , and she also took her very heavy purse she had brought with , and hit me on the shoulder pretty hard . It is so hard to not blow up when she is like this . Maybe that is why I usually do blow up . Michael and I had a brief conversation about our families future . I know that Kari has blogged about this in the past , but it is really hard to think about the fact that my daughter may not always be able to live with us . Am I giving up ? No . Am I being pessimistic ? No . I am trying to be realistic . Akila 's violence and anger can be really scary sometimes . Last week , one night at dinner , Akila was focusing her anger on Imani , for absolutely no reason . She sits across from Imani and she literally started to climb up on the table to try to hit Imani . We calmed her down , and were trying to re - focus her . She was yelling at Imani that she was going to hit her at school , and she kept on doing the threatening posture of holding one hand flat and hitting it with the other hand in a fist . Imani thankfully was ignoring her . I got her to stop finally and move on . But a few minutes later , I realized that Akila was staring intently at Imani , and it was in a very iPosted by I went to school today to have lunch with the 16 year old girl I mentor . Akila 's lunch is right before the high school lunch and I was a little early . I went in to say hi to Akila , and I saw something interesting as I was walking up behind her . She was pulling a twenty dollar bill out of her pocket and about to give it away . I pulled her aside and asked her where she got it . She said she found it outside . That is her patent answer for everything she has that she should not have . As I was pushing her on it , a kid from her class came over to me and gave me a twenty that Akila had given her . Then another one did , and told me that Akila had been handing out twenties to a bunch of kids . WHAT ? ? ? ! ! ! ! ! You can 't imagine what was going through my mind and how furious I was getting . As I was talking to Akila about it , several other kids were bringing twenties to me . Her teacher came in and I told her what was going on and she pressed Akila about it , as Akila had lied to her before lunch and said she only gave a twenty to one kid . The teacher had told her in the morning that she didn 't want Akila to think that she needed to give money to kids to be liked or have friends . Akila just stared all glossy eyed , she gets a very " disconnected " look when being pressed on theft . The teacher and class left , and after several threats from me , Akila finally told me that she got it from by the computer ( this is after 3 or 4 lies , like I found it in the toothpaste drawer - ha ) . Then I remembered that late last night , I was doing some bookkeeping for the dance studio , and had a cash payment from a family . The money that the kids turned into me was exactly the amount of the cash payment , as I know that I don 't have any personal cash in the house . I have been trying to get my friend , Juli who owns the dance studio , to fire me for quite some time . Maybe this will do the trick . Morning meds are usually not fun . Akila likes to pretend that it hurts to take them or she makes up some reason to fuss about taking them . She takes several pills in the morning , one which is for her Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome . I usually put the pills in a miniature bowl . Several times , she has freaked out about this bowl saying that it has bugs in it . I have assured her that it doesn 't . I have washed it in front of her , gotten a new bowl , tried several things , but she keeps freaking out about this . The other day , when she was freaking out about the bugs in the bowl , I see her looking up at beneath the kitchen cabinet . I bend my head down to her height and see a few cob webs , a lot of dust , and a bug or two in the webs , on the bottom of my kitchen cabinets . Here is a picture : I should note , the wall paper which is beige , has a cob web pattern on it . Those are not cob webs , I am not that bad . Or maybe I am . The kids didn 't have school on halloween , good for the teachers , not the mom . We had an appt . to go to the VA hospital to participate in a brain research project for FASD kids . They also wanted " normal " brains of anyone over 8 years old . So Imani , Akila and myself were going to participate . There was lots of paperwork first , and the girls had to sign their names and date each paper by themselves . It took quite awhile . The boys colored . Then , they brought us back for the brain imaging . It was in a sealed room and I could sit in it with each girl while they laid on the table . Akila went first and she did great . They talked to her through an intercom . When her turn was over , Imani went next . As Akila left the room , she was intrigued with the intercom and wanted to see it . She watched as they did Imani 's test ( I assume , since I was in the sealed room and could see anything ) , and at the end of Imani 's test , she said good job over the intercom . Then it was my turn . As the lady was getting me set up , Akila was out of the room using the intercom in a very obnoxious fashion . The lady told her to stop , as did I . She did not listen . I couldn 't help but try not to laugh . I apologized to the lady , more for what she would be dealing with while they were scanning my brain . I could faintly hear Akila the whole time , and it was funny . A different mom may have been annoyed and mortified at her behavior , I wasn 't . I just kept thinking to myself that if they are doing a research on FASD , they should expect some odd behaviors . Although , I was quite glad to leave when we were finished . When we were done , it was about 3 : 30 and I didn 't want to go home and listen to the " is it time to trick or treat " yet junk . So we randomly popped in on a friend who lives close to the VA who has young kids as well , but we haven 't been around them for about 5 years . We played outside with them for awhile , and eventually , Akila was riding her son 's bike around . When it was time to go , Akila wouldn 't come back on the bike , she was at the end of the block . MyPosted by Halloween went pretty well at our house , no major meltdowns , and the kids were all in bed just after 9 pm . We had a few issues over the weekend over fighting about candy . Normally , the next day I dump all their haul into one bowl and it is everyone 's candy . Akila was being particularly protective of her candy so I was going to wait until the weekend ended . The other kids gave her a ton of their candy that they didn 't really like . Saturday and Sunday were full of neighborhood conflict . The big brother of some neighborhood girls was over for the weekend , he comes around once a month or so . He is probably 11 or so and he is not good news . He usually conflicts with Akila as he isn 't around her enough to know to just put up with her junk , which is what most of the neighborhood kids do . But if he sees Akila show any kind of attitude towards one of his sisters , he goes into bully mode . So there was lots of conflict , and some of it was between him and me . Fun . I basically had to tell them all to go to their end of the block and to stay down there . He didn 't like this . I told him to get his dad ( who is kind of scary seeming ) , and we would work it out . He just stared at me and eventually trotted off down the block . I was quite glad he didn 't get his dad , I thought he might call my bluff . The great thing , is that by Sunday evening they were back to our side and everyone was playing nicely . Akila is a matter of fact , in love with the brother and they are going to get married . Excellent . He is exactly the type I will always want her to stay away from and exactly the type she will always be attracted to . But Akila thought of a great game to do with her halloween candy . She brought out her huge bowl of candy , and would take an item and throw it high in the air and who ever got it , could keep it . It was great , not too long after it started , all of our halloween candy ( except for the good stuff I had already swiped from the bowl and hidden for myself ) , was gone . We hardly have any candy left . I am totally fine with that . Hezekiah lost his second tooth two nights ago . It all happened too late , we called the tooth fairy that night , but she wasn 't able to make it on such late notice . He wasn 't too upset , they have all had this happen . Sometimes , she doesn 't make it because we live in a rough neighborhood , and she couldn 't make it . The weirdest part about losing a tooth in our house , is that the kids know not to let Akila know . You all know the excitement that occurs when a tooth comes out . The kids use to want to call Grandma , the National Guard and alert the media . They have learned to only exhibit their excitement when she is in the other side of the house , and make their phone calls in secret . The reason ; Akila steals their teeth from under their pillow before the tooth fairy comes sometimes . This is especially devastating on a night when the tooth fairy is not able to make it to our house , and they wake up to no tooth and no money . So they have learned not to let on to Akila that they have lost a tooth . It is interesting watching the kids with Akila . There are certain things like the tooth thing , that they have learned very well how to deal with her on . Then there are all the other things I wish they would learn . Like to just ignore her when she rolls her eyes at them , or says something snotty . I have been trying to teach them not to engage with her , as she is looking for a fight . Interesting . I don 't know why they can 't learn this concept . I have done so well at it myself . NOT ! ! ! I must say , that Akila has had an exceptional month , and I don 't think I have ever been able to say that . She has had good days , and even good weeks , but never such a long stretch . That is not to say that we haven 't had our rages and battles , we have . But nothing too over the top . Last night we had a pretty good rage . Michael was working late and I was labeled evil mom and told that she hated me and lots of other horrid things . While she was in her room trying to calm down , she brought the phone with her and called dad . He was on his way home so she left Posted by Today is Grandma Kathy 's birthday . I have written before of our next door neighbor Kathy , who is like a mom to me , and a grandma to our kids . She has been working with each of my kids for months and teaching them how to sew , and they have each sewn a quilt with her . She sent them off to a lady to put them together and do the stitching , but the kids with Kathy 's assistance sewed all the pieces together , and cut them . I don 't know all the technical words for quilting , but they are amazing . She chose fabric that matched their personalities or interests . Here are some pictures . Hezekiah 's quilt , above , has dinosaurs on it . Below , Akila 's quilt has flip flops on it , and she is the fashion queen who is obsessed with shoes . Perfect fit ! The picture above , has one side of Zeke 's quilt , which has frogs on it , which he loves . He also loves the Hungry Caterpillar book , which is what is on the other side , below . Imani loves purple , and rainbows . Hers is a perfect fit as well ! Yes , I know , I still haven 't gotten the wallpaper off in Akila 's room , as evidenced in the picture below . The bathroom remodeling has gotten in the way . But isn 't her quilt adorable ? It will help to pick out colors for the walls . Below , you can see them each holding a cute little photo album that Kathy made for them . She put the fabric from their quilts in them as the cover , and put pictures of the process inside the albums . I feel so blessed . I had a great mom for the first 36 years of my life , and the Lord has blessed me with Kathy as well , who is like a mom to me . She is a retired special ed teacher ( although she is always working still ! ) , and is fabulous with my kids , and not at all judgemental about our challenges with Akila . Thanks Kathy , have a wonderful birthday . Know that you are loved dearly by our entire family . The kids were so excited on Saturday when she presented them with their finished quilts , and the photo albums . Zeke said that it was the best day of his life . And he was very proud yesterday morning that he had not peed on his quilt . Cute ! ! Posted by God help me . Akila just came running to me freaking out , with excitement , saying that she is growing hair in her arm pits . She really is . I am not ready for her to go through puberty , ever . She is quite excited , and I can guarantee , that she will show everyone at school on Monday , and all the neighbors ; despite all the conversations we will have about private things . Siiiggghh . Five or six hours ago , I was so pleased . The sleepover went well last night , and today went very well as well . My neighbor friend , DeDe , called me this morning . She is sick and was heading to the Dr . , wondered if I could watch her 4 kids . I did hesitate for a minute , and then said what the heck , what 's four more ? They came just before 11 . I fed lunch to 10 kids . It went amazingly well . Imani 's friend , Izzy , arrived around 3 : 00 . Akila had been great all day , with only a few little issues . Imani , Izzy , Akila and Olivia ( DeDe 's daughter ) , all played beautifully together for a few hours . It was really fun to watch . It is quite rare that Akila can interact with other kids this well , especially if Imani is in the group . Imani is the sweetest , nicest girl , who shares and is very giving . But Akila is so jealous and has a hard time with it . DeDe 's kids left around 5 : 30 , Noah , Hezekiah 's friend left at the same time . I only had to feed 6 kids dinner , and we ordered pizza . We decided my nephew would stay one more night , he is a really sweet and easy boy . I like that combination . Akila 's friend Abbey couldn 't get here until 8 : 00 , after a soccer game . The four girls played nicely together for over an hour , and then we hit meltdown stage , BIG TIME ! ! ! I had just put a movie in for them to wind down to , brought the boys upstairs to wind down and go to bed , and Akila could no longer keep it together . Michael and I tried every creative thing to help her keep it together , but it was too late . We spent an hour and a half in her bedroom with her while she raged . She became destructive , trying to break her bed , her dresser , anything she could grab . The 3 boys were across the hall and were suppose to be quieting down and going to sleep , but it would have been impossible . And it was all Imani 's fault ; if you listen to Akila . She was furious with her sister , who had done nothing . She was yelling horrific things , like " I 'm going to go down and kill her after you go to sleep " , and other violent things . It is so hard to listen to that . When shPosted by It is the long MEA weekend . I 'm not ready for it . I have no choice . We have two extra boys tonight for a sleepover , my nephew Isaiah , and Hezekiah 's friend Noah . Lots of screaming for a bunch of boys , I 'll tell you that ! ! Akila is in hyper - overdrive . I have her in her room watching a movie on the mini DVD player right now , as I 'm trying to get them all to calm down , especially her . Tomorrow night , Akila will have a friend sleep over and hopefully Imani will also . I will be completely worn out by Friday . Why do I do this to myself ? I do not know . I loved sleep overs when I was little , I practically had one every weekend , seriously ! ! ! But I was like an only child , my brothers were 7 and 14 years older than I , so my parents were glad to have someone for me to play with . I find sleepovers to be tiring , and very difficult with the Akila dynamic . But wow the kids love them . And I was able to get the boys to clean the family room and their bedroom this afternoon with no whining . That is nice . Thanks for the birthday wishes yesterday . I had a nice day and my memory is acting 40 . I forgot to give Akila her meds this morning . I won 't forget tomorrow ( especially since she will be home all day ) . It is less than two weeks until the fundraiser for my friend Bernard 's children . I am going to put the information here in case any of you can make it . Thanks to all of you who have donated items for the silent auction ! ! Join friends and colleagues ofBernard Gillfor an evening of ~ music , the arts , entertainment , and a silent auction ~ ( suggested donation at the door : $ 10 ) Saturday , October 255 : 00 - 10 : 00 p . m . TIES Building , Grand Hall1667 Snelling Ave . N . , St . Paul , MN ( on the southwest corner of Larpenteur and Snelling , just north of the state fairgrounds ) When longtime NYLC staff member Bernard Gill died last April , his fourchildren were left with a strong legacy of Bernard 's devoted fathering , community spirit , and endless humor . Because Bernard wife died of breast cancerin 1998 , the children are in a particularly challenging situation . Please consider joining colleagues and friends of Bernard 's for thisspecial event . All are welcome to stop by and bid on a silent auction item , or stay andlisten to local artists . Food will be served with all proceeds going theBernard Gill Children 's Fund . • For more information , see www . nylc . org / gillfundraiser • Help spread the word by linking to the Facebook cause athttp : / / apps . new . facebook . com / causes / posts / 62816 ? m = 36454 Yesterday , we celebrated my birthday which is actually tomorrow . I am not like my friend Juli who won 't tell anybody how old she is ( she is 39 ) , I have no issues with my age , yet . But I will be 40 tomorrow , and other than how weird it sounds , I 'm OK with it . I was craving my favorite salad which is at Tony Roma 's and their only location now - a - days is the Mall of America . Good thing I love rides and Nickelodeon Universe has some great new ones . We ate , rode a few rides , played in Lego Land and had a pretty good time . The kids were good , Akila wasn 't too bad , even with me forgetting to give her meds before we left ( maybe 40 is going to be painful ) . We got ice cream for dessert and were sitting on some benches eating it . There was a water fountain and we gave each kid a penny to put in it . Then as we were leaving shortly after that , we realized that Akila had a handful of coins and hat taken them out of the fountain . Michael was furious , I had a hard time not laughing . I was annoyed with the two of us for not keeping our eyes on her enough . Imani ran the coins back and put them in their place . The truth is , we have had two weeks of really good behavior from Akila . What is funny when I say this , is that it is still not what most families would call good , or normal . Far from it . But the rages have been short , and the struggles have been fewer . There has been more cooperation on simple things that are usually a struggle . Getting dressed in the morning , taking meds , going to bed , eating meals . She asked for gum last night and I said no and she said OK . That is very unusual . There had been several other times over the weekend she had asked for gum and I said no and she kind of freaked out . It is rare when she does not freak out when told no . We have still had unusual behavior that is not age appropriate . Like when we went to the park on Saturday , and I watched her go behind a tree and realized she had her pants off . I was about to walk over there when I saw her shaking the pants off . As I was walking over there , I could sePosted by Little Akila thinks that she is Miss Manners . I can 't even count how many times lately she has gotten enraged over one of her sisters chewing too loudly , or not covering a sneeze . It is getting totally annoying . This morning , she was obsessively yelling at Imani for chewing with her mouth open , as it was too loud . She was perseverating on this fact . She has done this many times in the van if any of the kids are eating something , and did it at the dinner table last night . It is driving me nuts . Sometimes she actually has a point , but get real ! ! ! Then what happens , is whatever kid she is hassling about their chewing or coughing or whatever it is , starts to try not to chew with their mouth closed so she doesn 't win . I can 't even blame them . This is coming from the girl , who when she sneezes and has a snag of snot hanging out of her nose , runs around the house until everyone has seen it . This from the little girl who obsessively picks any bump , cut or minor owie on her skin , until it bleeds and shows everyone . This from the girl who loves to open her mouth and show the food off that she is chewing . The girl who loves to have food dripping down the side of her mouth and shows everyone . Yet , if her fork touches the dining room table , it is contaminated and she needs a new one . It is hard to keep track of what manners she is interested in from one minute to another . But the chewing with the open mouth is one she is currently obsessed with . Akila brought home a flyer from school about playing an instrument in the band . We are suppose to work with her to choose an instrument and turn the form in . She is really excited about playing in the band , but there is no way it would work out , for so many reasons . We tried her in piano a few years ago , and we only tried it for one quarter . She would never practice , it was a horrible struggle to get her to practice and since it is more important to focus on homework if we want to struggle , we chose homework . Plus , with her dyspraxia , she struggled with the piano . Her fingers would lock up and I would try to spread them out on the piano keys and she just couldn 't get them to do what she wanted them to do . Which would really frustrate her and insight a rage , even when I was being a super calm mom . So this morning , she unfortunately remembered the form just as she was leaving for school . I told her that dad and I wanted her to focus on dance instead of band since she was such a talented dancer . She was quite mad , but did not go into rage mode . Praise the Lord ! ! ! Last night was her dance class , which is 2 hours now that she is in 4th grade . She has been handling this really well and last night I let her stay for the danceline class also . Three straight hours of dance and she did great . She really does have a gift in the area of dance . Praise the Lord again ! ! ! Above is Hezekiah helping me demolish our bathroom , do you like his spy glasses - we needed some protective eyeware and this is all we could find . Below Akila is helping daddy bundle some branchesAbove , Zeke is making a PBJ on the floor , very sanitary . Below , he is working on homework , which he is obsessed with . Above , Imani is mowing the lawnAbove , Akila is helping to trim the rose bushes , notice how they go along the wall and are pretty thick . I had to leave to bring Zeke to a bday party , and told Akila if she finished the roses , I would pay her a dollar . Below if how they were when I returned , she did them perfectly . Above , Imani and Hezekiah are on a little part of our roof cleaning the gutter . Imagine the beating of my heart when I came around the house and saw them up there . I told Michael that I should call child protection on him . Yes , he has them vacuuming the gutters , that 's my man ! ! Someday I will get a picture of him vacuuming the lawn mower . We had a pretty good Saturday , spent the majority of the day in manual labor and the kids did a pretty good job . Zeke didn 't get his hands too dirty though , he was at a birthday party for most of the afternoon . He has been really fun with homework . He is obsessed with it and wants to do it every night . He gets one sheet a week of homework . I bought him a kindergarten math workbook , and the first night , he finished 42 pages , slept with the book , worked in it in the morning and wanted to bring it to school . I said no . He came home from school and completed the entire book . I told Hezekiah 's teacher when we were chatting , and she sent him some homework on two different days last week and he completed each packet each night . I hope he is always this excited , none of my other kids are or ever were as excited as he is . Oh yeah , I forgot to blog that Thursday did not go as smoothly after school as the rest of the week had . We had a few rages , but nothing to write home about ( or in the blog about ) . So the really excellent behavior streak ended , but she still has not been too bad . And for that , I am thankful . Today , other than the previous post when I wrote about her creative photography , she was pretty good . We were doing a lot of physical labor , I 'll try to post some pictures this week of our hard working day . Right now , I can feel my heart beating in my shoulder , an indication of the toll the physical labor is taking on me . I am almost 40 after all ( 10 days to go ) . When I woke up this morning , I came out of my room to hear Hezekiah at the top of the stairs mumbling to himself , he sounded angry . I asked what was up and this is what her mumbled ; " Dumb Akila . She is so stupid . She stole my camera and took pictures of her vagina . " What a way to start the day , good morning mommy ! ! He was very mad , not grossed out , or freaked out like i was , just plain mad . Thankfully , he had deleted the pictures already . This is on his playschool digital camera , which is a totally awesome camera for kids . Unless they 're using it for porn , probably not so good . He is usually very careful at keeping it out of her sight , as she is always interested in this camera when she sees it . He and I found a good hiding place for it . Later in the day , Akila went to the hardware store with me . On the way home , we passed a bus and she was reading the front electronic sign thingie that says what its route is . It said Mall of America and she freaked out with excitement . Not what I need . It is times like these , when I wish she couldn 't read . Now she knows that a bus a couple of blocks from our house goes all the way to the Mall of America . I 'm screwed . I see this in so many of our blogs ; we have had a good week , but I feel like I should knock on wood . Akila has had 3 really good days in a row , and also had a great morning . I absolutely love it ! It is so funny , as I could sit back and experience what it is like to have a family where there are not constant meltdowns , and issues , but instead , I am walking on egg shells trying to do everything I can to make it last as long as possible . It is like I 'm desperate . But after a long stretch of " crappy " behavior , you do get desperate . I know it won 't last much longer , and for those of you who think I 'm being a pessimist and should expect it to last forever , I say " Get a life ! " That is not how it works in the world of FASD . Sure , God could provide a miracle , and I pray for help and guidance daily , but I am also realistic . I have also accepted Akila and her brain . I am quite thankful for these 3 1 / 2 good days , and I 'm going to ride them out as long as I can . There is no school tomorrow , that will be the test . We will stay active and get out of the house a lot . Keep your fingers crossed ! ! I am very proud of myself tonight . Akila had a really good morning , no issues , no rages , no name - calling , it was a rare morning . Akila started playing with a few of her dolls yesterday and she really gets into this sometimes . The dolls are real and we all have to treat them accordingly or she will go nuts . So , as she was leaving , she was handing me her doll to care for during the day . When she does this , I have to be very careful to handle the doll with care or I get yelled at to support her neck , etc . I was very loving to the doll . Akila told me where to set her down after she left . She asked if I was going anywhere and I said I was going grocery shopping . She asked me to take the doll with , but to be sure to use her car seat . I assured her that I would . During the day , I came across a bib and brought it and put it on the doll . When Akila got home , she noticed immediately . I told her that when I was feeding her she was getting messy so I put a bib on her . She loved it . She was so proud of me and so thankful that I took good care of her baby . She then went in the basement , got the real high chair out , and played really nicely with dolls for quite awhile . I came into the kitchen and found her running the microwave . She had a bottle with water that she was warming up for the baby . She had even taken the nipple off . Makes me think that she might be able to be a good mom some day . Well , that is until the child started to talk and assert their will . She would then explode and lose her temper . Worse than I do . But I didn 't have to today . Today was a good day . Some of you may remember my post from April when my friend Bernard died . I went to a meeting at the NYLC where I use to work yesterday , to help plan a fundraiser for Bernard 's four kids . I wanted to put a little bit of information here for those of you who are local and could possibly attend . Please attend , whether you knew him or not . I would love to see you all . It will be on Saturday , October 25 from 5 - 10 pm in St . Paul by the State Fairgrounds . There is going to be various musical entertainment and a variety of food offered , mainly desserts and appetizers . The suggested donation for entry will be $ 10 , and the food will be for sale as well . More info to come on the details . Bernard 's oldest child , Geoffrey is 20 years old and a sophomore at Augsburg College . He has moved back home and is taking guardianship of two of his sisters who are in 8th and 10th grade . His other sister is 18 and a freshman at the University of Minnesota . I met last night with Geoffrey , and am amazed at all that he has had to take on . We met at 9 : 30 , after he had gotten home from his 10th grade sister 's volleyball game . He is having to work with a lawyer to get the kids names on the title of the house , having to turn in his dad 's vehicle next month which is leased , trying to buy a car this weekend , trying to provide healthy meals , and the list goes on . I can 't imagine having to do all of this at the age of 20 , he just turned 20 . I am organizing a group of people who will be delivering groceries / meals to the kids on a regular basis as well . If you 're interested in helping with this , email me . If you 'd like to attend the fundraiser , email me as well . I am still in a deep cleaning mode , have been for 4 weeks now , you would think my house would be spotless . I was cleaning out our family room where all the toys are yesterday . It took all day . I found a notebook with the above entry from Akila . I crossed out the boys name . - It makes me sad . You might think that it makes me sad because she wants to have a baby so much when she grows up and more than likely won 't be able to due to her Turner Syndrome . No , I feel like this is a blessing , she should never have children . That does make me sad I guess , but I know it would not be good for her or for a child for her to be parenting . - Obviously it makes me sad how obsessed she is with sex . Many parents or professionals would say that it is normal to have an entry like this , that kids are curious at this age about sex and all that gobbley gook . It is not normal , I guarantee it . If this was an isolated incident , or something that rarely happens and I could use it as a spring board for a deep discussion , that would be more normal . No , trust me , Akila has a very unhealthy obsession with sex . And it is going to break my heart over and over for the rest of my life . This I know . On Saturday , Michael took Imani , Zeke and Hezekiah to the Farmer 's Market and on a bunch of errands . Akila and I put together a dresser for her room that I bought at Ikea . It was so much fun , which is something I never thought I would say after putting something together from Ikea ( what a pain ! ) . Akila loved putting it together , using the tools , reading the directions ( which are all pictures ) , and working with mom . She was on a high and so was I . It probably took 2 hours to do , and she and I were both patient and pleasant . About half way through , as I was revelling in how well it was going , I realized that I was benefiting partly from her prime time after she has taken her meds , but hey , I 'll take it . We were trying to find a neighbor who could come and take a picture of us working together , but had no luck . So I took several pictures of her and she took some of me ( which I will not post ) , and it was a pretty good day . We had a pretty good weekend , which ended with her getting her hair braided by an old student of mine . She loves to get her hair done , and is usually pretty good on these days , thank goodness . Wow , the entire morning is going fine , and then the last 5 minutes as we get ready to go to the bus stop , everything melts down and I am completely annoyed . Akila was pretty good all morning , then as the kids are putting on shoes and coats , we had an issue . She wanted to wear a pair of high heel shoes that the girls use to play with dress up . They are real shoes , not the little girl fake high heels . I tell her that she needs to wear her tennis shoes and she immediately looses it . Starts kicking and name calling . I tell her that she can wear them to dance class tonight , but can 't wear shoes like this to school . Well no matter , she is totally gone and replaced with a manic Akila . I manage to get her tennis shoes on her , but it wasn 't pretty . She called me every name in the book and as she was going out the door , she slammed the screen door intentionally against the railing , kicked the door quite hard , while calling names . I followed her ( in a non - intimidating manner ) out the door and she threw her book bag at me . I picked it up and followed her to the bus stop , all the while being called names . I calmly told her she would have a consequence when she got home for this poor behavior , which made her spew more hateful language . The bus came , I almost kissed the bus driver . I am now going to spend some time in the Word and pray for peace and that the Lord would help me to not let 5 minutes ruin my day . I don 't think it will . Well , I should have knocked on wood or something from my post earlier today . Akila did not come home on the bus today . I wonder why I get migraines . The 3 kids came running off the bus to tell me that Akila did not ride it home . My kids go to a school in downtown Minneapolis which buses kids from all over Minneapolis , and 10 west metro suburbs . Fun . I went inside and called the school to see if they could help me track her down . While on hold as they were calling the bus company , my other line rang and it was a cell phone number . I answered it and it was Akila at a girls house over in South Mpls , we live North . Her mom got on the phone and told me her address . We were going to dance after school today , but Michael was home early so I left the other three with him , went and got Akila and went straight to dance . I can 't tell you how mad I was . I couldn 't even talk to her about it as we were driving to dance I was so mad . She knew it too . After dance , Michael talked with her , gave her the punishment that she cannot leave our yard for the next week , and if she does , we will take away her beloved bear for two days so she can understand how sad and scared we were without her when she did not come home after school . Way to go dad , a pretty good consequence I thought . With one of my other kids , I think they might make the connection , not sure Akila will , but still a good one . The challenge to it , is that she is obsessed with this bear and has a horrific time winding down and going to bed without it . And I can practically guarantee that she will leave our yard in the next week , not intentionally , but will forget that this is her punishment . I will work really hard to remind her of this rule for the next week , I don 't want her to lose the bear . A funny note , as I was eating some crackers tonight , I couldn 't figure out why my tongue seemed like I had burned it on coffee or soup . I was trying to think of what I had consumed in the last day or so that would have burnt my tongue . Then I started laughing when I remembered the cayePosted by I forgot to write about a job that I still can 't believe I turned down . I use to work with a guy named Peter who I have remained friends with and loved working with . We worked together in the Bloomington Schools and also when he directed Camp Icaghowan , a YMCA camp that I use to use for some of my youth programs . He now works at a charter high school in Coon Rapids as a teacher . He called me the first week of school wondering if I might want to work there 4 afternoons a week doing youth development kind of stuff with the students . I went last week and met with the Director , Peter 's friend whom I have met before and like . I told him I didn 't want to work 4 days a week as I am trying to re - energize , get organized and do a million other things now that all 4 of my kids are in school . He said two days a week would be fine , he would be totally flexible , it sounded perfect . I love the school , I know and like at least 4 staff already , it is a school year schedule , everything I needed . I would have plenty of time to get home in time for the kids , it would just be 11 : 30 - 2 twice a week , more if I wanted . I thought about it for a week , went back and forth , thought I was going to accept and then realized the timing just is not right . I have been too excited about having some time to get organized , time to clean , time to cook , time to try to be more creative in my approaches to Akila , etc . I think if this opportunity came up next school year , or even in January , after I have had some time , the decision would have been much easier . I just can 't believe I turned it down . It was a perfect fit . Just not the perfect time . I am on day two of a migraine . Ugh . I have gotten these stinkers for years , and a little over a year ago they started to sometimes last over a day . It use to be that I would wake up with a migraine , a few hours later start vomiting , empty my stomach out , sleep an hour or two and then it would be gone , usually by dinner ( sometimes if they started in the afternoon , they would be gone by bedtime ) . Now , they sometimes last more than a day . I have not been able to get rid of this one , I am getting close and it is gone enough that I can use the computer . After the kids left for school , which was not fun , I drank some water with a couple teaspoons full of cayenne pepper and laid down . I read on the Internet that this can trick your brain into sending something or other for the pain , or something like that . It actually seemed to help and the majority of the pain went away , it is just kind of in the back of my head now . I then went to the health club , sat in the hot tub and took a shower . That helped as well . Thankfully , last night is when Angie was taking Akila out for their bi - weekly outing . My other three went to my friend DeDe 's and I was very relieved . Then there was this morning . What is amazing to me , is that the majority of the morning can go very well , and then the last 10 minutes are when we hit meltdown phase . When it was time to go to the bus , Akila comes downstairs with her old backpack full of stuff . When I asked her what was in it , she said with great attitude , " none of your beeswax . " My first instinct was to smack her across the face , which I of course did not do , but the migraine was making it harder to resist , honestly . As I was trying to check out what was in her backpack , she ran to the family room door and kicked it . This is a french door like we have on our bedroom door , the one that she kicked and broke the glass on when we were on vacation . Thankfully , it did not break , but it made me break . I started yelling and lost it . Long story short , I finally got her off to the bus stop . I followed slowly behindPosted by Today was the tenth day of school , not that I 'm counting down to summer ! But Akila has a new thing this year she is trying out . She comes home every day wanting to know where we are going . And most of the time the answer is no where , and she does not like this answer . She especially did not like this answer today , so she decided she was going to run away . I have a hard time knowing how to respond to this one . She doesn 't do it too often , I would say every few months , usually . She packed up her bag , got her dolls , needed a target bag for her winter coat in case she got cold ( who said FASD kids can 't plan ahead ? ) and was ready to go . I told her I didn 't want her to go and that I would miss her too much . She left . I watched her from a hidden window , as she rounded the corner into North Mpls . I sighed . I followed her to the corner behind our block , which is not a place she should be alone . She did not want to come back home , or so she said . I actually did have a hard time getting her home . The entire way home , which we had to stop many times to talk and fuss , I heard about how she hated our family , didn 't want to be in our family any more , because I always say no . And she never gets to go anywhere ( so not true ) . As we were getting close to our house , she decided she wanted to live with someone else on our block . I said good luck finding someone . She came in the house and wanted to change her name . I asked her what name she would choose . She said Kiera . I said that was a pretty name and asked her if she would write it down for me so I could see how it was spelled . Then I asked her if she would write it on her homework sheet and turn it into a creative writing assignment . I asked her to write what type of a family she would like to live in and how she was feeling . It worked for a few minutes of distraction , then she came right back to wanting to leave . And she wanted to change her name officially . I told her it was too expensive and she would have to wait until she was an adult and could pay for it on her own . She decidePosted by Akila got up at 3 : 15 this morning , and never went back to bed . I 'm tired . The kids are tired . Michael is tired . It is amazing how one child can affect the entire family . She has been sleeping pretty well since we switched her off of the Dexedrine to Ritalin . This was happening fairly regularly last spring before the switch . I knew this was coming . Out of the blue , last night at bedtime , she announced that if she woke up in the middle of the night , she was going to come down to the family room to play . I said no , that would not work , and that if she woke up , to lay in bed until she fell back asleep . She argued with me and started to rage , and that was that . So 3 : 15 , she comes sauntering into my room wide awake . There is no putting her back to bed when this happens , believe me , I have tried . If I make her go to her room , I am guaranteed to have all 4 kids awake in less than 30 minutes . I have even tried during several of these occasions , to lie down with her in her room , or have her come into our bed ( which I hate doing ) . Doesn 't work . So , she came to the family room , and woke me up all night , or should I say morning ? , about every 15 minutes with things like this : There is a giant centipede with a pointy backWill you make me some pancakesIs it a school day ? Do you know where the DVD remote is ? It is raining ( she woke up before the rain and thunder started ) Is it a school day ? ( again ) Can you come help me ? I need a band - aid ( which she can get herself at anytime ) I think around 6 : 30 , is when she woke up the other 3 kids for sure . It sounds like she had tried a few times before that . When I got up , they were all 4 in Akila 's room watching a movie on the mini DVD player ( which Akila had gotten out of our room while we slept ) . She also had my cell phone , and had been in my purse and gotten gum . Lovely . It was not a very fun morning , and I tried to be patient . Hezekiah spilled his juice all over in the dining room and I didn 't react very well . I didn 't yell psychotically like I wanted to do , I just chastised him for not telling mPosted by So , after 5 days of school , I am fed up with homework - and we hardly have any . I am of course talking about homework with Akila . In her first homework packet , which came home on Friday , there is just a list of spelling words , and a reading log in which she has to write about her reading twice a week . I sat down with her to do this on Sunday , and it was not fun . Monday night was even worse . During dinner , I told her we were going to do homework after we finished cleaning up dinner , and told her she could have some time to play first . Michael did homework with Imani and Hezekiah first , as it does not work to have Akila working on homework at the same time as the other kids . I came down to get her when it was her turn , and she started to rage . We went round and round awhile . I explained to her that if she didn 't sit down to do homework with me , that she would have to go to her room for the rest of the night . This enraged her even more . I told her she could choose a book to read , she could read it to me , or not , I would sit with her , I would read my own book , etc . Nothing was appealing to her . She just sat or stood there and threw stuff and called me names . I remained really calm , on the outside . After much monkey business , she finally sat down with a book , at least 30 minutes after this fiasco started . Then , she wasn 't really reading , but just flipping through the pages . We also have issues over where she would like to do her homework . Our dining room table is not the most ideal , the table is a bit shaky , no matter how much we have tried to stabilize it . I have been begging for a new table for awhile now , maybe for my 40th birthday coming up next month . Or not . Akila has a desk in her bedroom , she doesn 't like doing it in there either . I sometimes make a homemade desk with a stool and a little chair we have , and put it in whatever room is interesting to her . The things I do for her , sometimes drive me nuts . I fell like I 'm always having to bend over backwards , because I guess I am . Ridiculous . Anyway , she sometimes liPosted by I guess I 'm going to do 3 posts a day now , trying to catch up . This is a quick one . I have spent the last few days deep cleaning the kids bedrooms . I did Akila 's room on Tuesday , the boys yesterday and Imani 's today . Imani has a chalk board in her room that all the kids like to write on from time to time . Today , I found this message from Akila : If you can 't read it , it says " I want to go to stay at my birth mom 's . Akila " . I know that I will probably be hearing a lot of these kind of lines from her in the upcoming years . I 'm sure she wrote it last week one day when she was furious with me and was saying that over and over . Then she came downstairs and wanted to do enough chores to earn $ 600 . I had told her a long while ago that plane tickets cost at least $ 600 . Pretty sure she had some plans . She of course didn 't do enough chores to earn fifty cents , but she got a little bit done . Last night , while we were eating supper , Zeke asked if they could go to bed right after dinner so kindergarten day would get here sooner . I thought it was a great idea , but none of the other kids did . He was super excited for school to start today . I forgot to give the boys their asthma meds and I went in their room to give it to them , less than 5 minutes after I tucked them in , and he was sleeping already . What a cutie . He got up this morning , and was ready to go in 5 minutes . I drove the kids to school so I could see Zeke and wow , I can 't explain how adorable he was . He by far was my most excited kid to start kindergarten . None of my 4 kids were nervous , scared or apprehensive on their first day ( or any others ) . None of them clung to me or cried . But none of them were as excited as Zeke . What a doll ! ! ! That is what I always call him , he doesn 't like it . Here are a few pictures of him . Did I mention that I think this was the most excited I was to have a kid start kindergarten ? I got my first ever pedicure , and a haircut today , and I didn 't have to pay a babysitter . Wahoo ! ! My name is Barb and I am a teenager at heart who is married to Michael , an Accountant . We have 4 adopted children , Akila - 12 , Imani - 11 , Hezekiah - 10 and Zeke - 9 . I am a youth worker by profession but currently staying home attempting to manage our household . My hope for this blog is that it will help me to avoid cleaning my house ( I actually don 't need help with avoiding housework ) and give me some serenity ( I do need help with this ) . My oldest child , Akila , has Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder ( FASD ) and that is what I will focus on in this blog . Here are a few books that I found helpful on FASD . I also put the link for the lockbox that we have liked the most for locking stuff up . We have one with meds in it , one with knives and scissors . I like that it is electronic and I don 't have to use a key . Each of my kids has their own as well .