Today I went to a conference for pastors . As I looked around the room , I realized that over half of us were women . When I started in ministry 27 years ago , it was not unusual for me to be the only woman in the room in a situation like this one . I like the fact that I 'm no longer alone . It 's amazing how much change has taken place in the past 27 years . At lunch I sat talking to a Franciscan Friar , and we talked about all the changes we have seen during our ministry . I think we probably sounded old , but no one else was paying much attention to us , so it was okay . It 's hard to believe that I 've been at this for 27 years . I 've been doing this for half of my life . I spoke to a woman who was semi - retired on a coffee break , she said her part time ministry had her wanting to get back in to it full time . I wondered if ministers ever really retire . . . . Some of the people were spending the night at the conference center . I live 20 minutes away from it , and consider myself very fortunate . I was able to participate in the conference and get home in time to greet Daughter when she got off the bus . Posted by Daughter had an appointment with Psychiatrist this morning . In the middle of her appointment , the fire alarm went off . We all walked down the stairs and out and gathered on the sidewalk . There were a lot of people at mental health today . . . . It made for an interesting appointment . The substitute Program Manager from her day program headed to the appointment , but never showed up . She wasn 't answering her cell phone , so I don 't know what happened . I ended up taking her to meet up with her program at their first outing , which put me a little behind . This time I explained that Daughter had felt overwhelmed last time and couldn 't process everything that was being said . Psychiatrist made a point of asking Daughter what had happened , so she would leave with a clear understanding . I like Psychiatrist . I found out Daughter 's house is getting a new Medical Coordinator . The current Med Coordinator is handling both the men 's and women 's houses , and spending 75 % of her time on medical appointments , which doesn 't allow enough time for follow - up and supervision back at the house . I think this is a good thing , but selfishly , I hope she stays with the women 's house . I don 't want Daughter to have to deal with a new Program Manager and a new Medical Coordinator at the same time . Daughter and I were working in the kitchen the other day , and she complained that she was hot . It was getting warm , so I decided to turn on the ceiling fan that is part of the kitchen light fixture . I asked Daughter to pull the chain . The first time she pulled the wrong chain , turning off the light . She turned it back on , and then pulled the other chain . Nothing happened . I noticed a switch up on the fan , so I got the step stool and flipped the switch . I tried various combinations of flipping the switch and pulling the chain , but didn 't have any luck . Finally , I gave up . A little while later we left to go to the store . I turned off the kitchen light at the wall switch . When we came home , the fan was on . I still haven 't figured out the secret of controlling it , so I still can 't predict when it 's going to be on and when it will be off . We haven 't touched the chain since I gave up on it . All I know is that it is very weird . . . . Daughter told me she was really struggling to meet my no drama requirement . This afternoon , it finally got to be too much for her . We were outside , and she had finished eating and was playing a game with Short Niece . I didn 't like her attitude , and called her on it ( I honestly don 't remember what she was saying or doing ) . She stormed off , saying she needed to go home immediately . We continued our conversation and ignored her . As I told everyone , " It 's her problem , not mine . " She 'd reappear occasionally , so I 'd know she was still around and mad . At one point she stormed out to the garage . Sister thought she was sitting in the car , and wondered if she 'd have enough sense to come in when she got too hot . I told her we 'd check on her if she stayed too long . She didn 't . Sister was getting ready to leave , so I asked her if she 'd take Daughter home . She agreed . I told Daughter Sister would take her , and it was her choice as to whether she left then or waited until later . She chose to leave with Sister . She called as soon as she got home , and was happy . Sister said as soon as she got in the car , she was fine . She had held it together as long as she was willing to , and needed to go home . She really has made the transition . Everyone commented on how much better she is doing . It was a successful visit , and I didn 't let her frustration impact me or my enjoyment of the day . Progress all around . Posted by Daughter has been super cooperative this weekend . We 've been working since we got home from church . I 've had an opportunity to teach her how to deal with frustration without quitting or exploding . We 've moved furniture in the family room to run the vacuum behind it . Daughter decided to do some rearranging , which is fine . She picked the music for our working , and I have to say she does have eclectic tastes in music . She put in a CD of Johnny Cash singing old hymns , Celtic Woman worship music , Godspell , piano hymns ( very mellow ) , and Cantus ( a men 's a cappella group ) . We took a break to go get some things for tomorrow , and of course ran into a number of members who were also shopping . I have chicken and flank steak marinating for fajitas . I was just going to do chicken , but Daughter insisted of flank steak , too . That 's the way Dad used to do it . Daughter surprised me by saying , " It must be hard on you to see all the Father 's Day cards since Grandpa is dead . " I was surprised by the wave of grief that washed over me . Fajitas was one of his specialties . Daughter had insisted on several things that were his little touches to fajitas . We also had a conversation about goals again . She wants to move to Chicago and study drama . I told her she needed to be able to live independently first . She gets frustrated and thinks I 'm standing in her way . I remind her that she had to walk before she could run , and she had to know the alphabet before she could learn to read . She has a difficult time understanding that , and doesn 't want to do the hard work necessary to work towards her goals . Of course , her goals aren 't realistic , yet I want her to understand I 'm not standing in her way . I 'm looking forward to hosting Sister and her daughter and Sister Best Friend and her husband tomorrow . It should be a fun day . Posted by I 'm actually surprised it 's taken this long - - Daughter has lived next door to a house of men for over 6 months . When I picked her up today she wanted me to meet someone . As of last night she has a boy friend . I told staff they could start a pool . I give it until Wednesday . He wanted her to go with him to the upcoming dance , and to her credit , she told him she wasn 't going , and couldn 't change her mind again . She 's singing as she cleans the bathroom . I 'm out to mow the yard . It 's a little damp , but given the radar map and the prediction of temperatures in the 90 's tomorrow with a heat index of well over 100 , the damp grass is not a problem . I spent the day in the yard . I finished mulching out in front . I took some soil out of one garden bed and transferred it to one of the raised garden beds . I planted corn , tomatoes and peppers in the raised garden beds . I did some more weeding . I edged the front yard and swept it all up . Last night I talked to my next door neighbor for the first time this spring . She wanted to know who built my garden beds . I told her I did . She said her brother was going to charge her hundred of dollars to build one for her . I assured her it was very simple . . . . Daughter texted once , wanting out of her program . I told her to turn it around like she did last night . When she called me at supper time , she was in a very good mood . She wants to spend the whole weekend with me . I told her she 'd have to week and there wasn 't to be any drama . She agreed , with the condition she wants to work inside , which is fine , because I prefer to work outside . I 'll pick her up tomorrow . If she isn 't cooperative , I 'll take her back . I think ( hope ) she 'll cooperate . It was a good day . Tomorrow I 'll mow the lawn , I considered doing it today , but decided to wait and give the grass a chance to recover from all the walking and working today . Posted by Daughter was trying to reach me this afternoon about drama at her program . I told her she could handle it . When she got off the bus tonight , I was talking to Sister . She was obviously mad , and came storming into the house . I continued to talk to Sister , and Daughter began sobbing hysterically . I got off the phone ( Sister had to go ) and asked what was wrong . The bus driver told her not to be so loud when she screamed when the bus driver had to hit the brakes hard to avoid another vehicle . I told her there was nothing wrong with that and she needed to lighten up . She then said something about how I should just take her back to her house immediately , since it was obvious I didn 't want her . I told her I wanted to spend time with her , I didn 't want the drama . She stopped the drama . We went out to eat and then went to the home improvement store that had mulch on sale . We loaded 20 bags into the back of my vehicle , and came home and started spreading it . Now I did much more work than Daughter did , but she was cooperative , ran the errands I requested , and didn 't complain . I thanked her for her help . I may pick her up Saturday and let her stay through Monday . I told her it would depend on how she did this evening . I got 10 bags of mulch spread and did some other small jobs outside . Daughter spread part of one bag . She probably loaded 7 - 8 of the bags of mulch into the car . This mulch is going out front . I think it will look nice when I 'm done . I 'm going to get some more of the free mulch from the church for the back yard . All in all , a good day . . . . A sweet young kid who started his internship as a cardiac tech this week assured me I was fine - - if there had been a problem they wouldn 't have left me in the room with just an intern . I 'm glad the tests are over . I 'll hear results when I see the cardiologist on June 6 . Daughter seems to have gotten through the rough patch she was in at the beginning of the week . She 's planning to help me around the house this evening , since choir is done for the summer . Posted by The woman behind the desk smiled as she checked me in for the first part of my stress test today . She remembered me from yesterday - - when I showed up a day early for the test . I guess maybe I am a little bit stressed by all of this . Maybe . When I found out I had the day wrong , I came back to the church , and almost gave the treasurer a heart attack . He knew I was having tests and didn 't expect to see my car in the parking lot . He was afraid he was going to come in and find me dead . They gave me the contrast fluid and told me to go get something to eat and drink and come back in 45 minutes . I got a rice krispie treat and a bottle of water . I returned as ordered . They had me lay on a very narrow table and keep my arms over my head for 16 minutes while they scanned my heart . They checked the pictures and came back and told me there was a problem and they wanted me to drink a can of sprite and wait another 15 - 20 minutes . They couldn 't see the bottom of my heart , and the thought was that my GI system was interfering , and that by drinking the sprite it would stop interfering . It didn 't make much sense to me , but I drank the sprite , waited , and then got back on the table for another 16 minutes of scanning . They said the second set of scans were better . I hope that means my heart does have a bottom . Tomorrow I go back for an echo cardiogram and the treadmill portion of the test , followed by more scans , I suspect . I will hear the results on when I see my cardiologist again on June 6 . Maybe I 'd better double check that date . . . . Yesterday evening I went home and mowed . It had only been 5 days , but the grass was so long that the mower couldn 't mulch it properly . I ended up using a catcher for one area to prevent it from looking like a hay field . It definitely is much healthier now than it was when I bought the house . I 'm thinking , though , that if I 'm going to have to start mowing twice a week , it might be a little bit too healthy ! It was cooler , so I was able to mow the entire yard with out pausing to sit and drink water and rest as I 've been doing . I took a break for supper , and then went out and did some weeding . I pulled 2 buckets of week out of the front bed . The weeding was much more work than the mowing . Bending over to weed just wears me out . I have a small hoe / weeder that I use to pull them , but I still have to bend over to pick up the weeds . With temperatures predicted to get up into the 90 's this weekend , I set the sprinkler system to run a bit longer . I 'm still waiting for the vegetable seeds I planted to come up , but I have some strawberries growing and one of my blackberry bushes is blooming . The clematis I planted late last summer is blooming and growing up my privacy fence . The two I planted this spring are also growing well . I 've begun going out every morning before I come into the office . I pull a few weeds and check the progress of my various plantings . I 'm really enjoying my yard . Since I 'm entertaining on Monday , I 'll have to set it aside long enough to do some cleaning inside . Of course , with the heat that is predicted , cleaning in the air conditioned house may be a welcome break ! In response to a comment , I thought I 'd reflect on how I seek to balance Daughter 's needs while setting limits on her behavior . The first things is recognizing her needs . She needs to know that I am okay and love her . A couple of weeks ago she was calling when I was in the bathroom , getting ready . I didn 't answer the phone , and she panicked . She called my cell , the home phone , and the church . She called Sister . When I saw the missed calls and called her back , I could hear the relief in her voice . She had been terrified , thinking something terrible had happened to me . She confessed she 'd been thinking about calling 911 to get someone to check on me . She felt a little silly when I told her I 'd been in the bathroom and hadn 't heard the phone because the exhaust fan and radio were both on . She knew that was my morning routine , but had never considered that would be the reason I hadn 't answered the phone . Some mornings I take my cell phone into the bathroom with me , that morning I didn 't . She needs the reassurance of a response when she calls . Last night she called during a board meeting . There was a discussion going on , so I answered and said , " I 'm in a meeting . Call me after 9 : 00 . Love you . Bye . " She never got to say a word . She called after 9 : 00 , and she was fine . Last week she called during a Bible study . I silenced the phone , and then texted , " In Bible study . Call after 8 : 00 . " She was fine . When I am thinking ahead , I 'll warn her or text her before the event to tell her when I 'll be available . I have the first part of my stress test this afternoon , so this morning I told her I was busy all afternoon , and she could call this evening . Some of her calls are attempts to hook me . I generally refuse to listen to the details and express confidence in her ability to work it out with the appropriate individual - - whether it be the House Manager ( as was the case yesterday when she told me a staff member had borrowed her pants ) or the staff at her program ( when she complained about her schedule ) . After the call complaining about her program , I received a very demanding text from her . I ignored it . I 'd told her what she needed to do , and I wasn 't going to get into it with her . I did email her therapist , sharing the text message with her and sharing my concern that Daughter is having a difficult time dealing with all the staff changes going on at her house and her program right now . Therapist will see her today . Last night she reported the staff member had returned her pants . I praised her for dealing with it on her own with House Manager . I have often cut off her complaints and said , " I have confidence in your ability to work this out . I love you and look forward to seeing you ____ . I will talk to you _____ . " I then hang up on her . When she called me last night after my meeting , she apologized for her attitude in the afternoon phone call and for the text . Those apologies led to the conversation about prayer , which she initiated . She was asking me where to look in the Bible for information about prayer , and said she needed to work on prayer . Was she trying to manipulate me ? Possibly . I gave her some suggestions . It was a constructive conversation , though , not one in which she was trying to convince me to intervene or come rescue her . On to her visits with me . I will not deprive her of her church . She lost the privilege of spending Saturday nights with me when she got into food on a visit , so I pick her up on Sunday mornings . Usually I take her back right after lunch . Sunday I let her stay for the nursing home service . Next month she will not be allowed to stay . July I won 't be leading it , and we 'll see about August . I also will not take choir away from hePosted by Daughter was in an oppositional mood yesterday . I had to lead nursing home worship at 3 : 00 , and she kept changing her mind about whether she wanted to stay with me to go to it . After changing her mind for the 4th or 5th time , I decided I was going to keep her with me until after the service . As I turned toward home , she demanded I take her back to her house immediately . I told her it was too late , she was going to have to stay for the nursing home service . When we got to the nursing home , she got mad because I told her she needed to move out of the doorway because she was blocking a resident with a walker . She got mad at stormed out , pouting on a bench outside . When the pianist arrived 10 minutes later , she was still out there pouting . Pianist encouraged her to come in , and eventually she did . I was relieved when Pianist arrived and reported seeing Daughter , because she 'd been gone longer than I anticipated , and I was beginning to think I should go check on her . When we left the nursing home and I turned toward her house , she insisted I not take her back right then . I said , " Look , I know you want to fight and argue today , but I 'm not playing that game . I am taking you back now . " Of course she then informed me I never listen to her and always cut her off . I didn 't respond - - reinforcing her feelings , but I knew it was a no win situation for me . was with me . These are just a few of a number of similar incidents . When I got home , I was tired . I realized that I don 't have to deal with her drama all the time now , and I 'm out of practice . It 's not as easy to ignore it as it once was . I also recognized that living with her had been a huge source of stress . I 'm very grateful I 'm able to limit my time with her . She will be with me for 2 weeks of vacation this summer , and if she gets too oppositional , I 'll take her back to her house and continue my vacation alone . I don 't have to live with her drama any more . Posted by Yesterday morning I went for a 4 mile walk in a beautiful park . I can walk - - it just takes a while - - like 2 hours yesterday . When I got home , I packed up to journey to Sister 's home . We watched Baby Nephew , and took him to see Short Niece 's soccer game and her violin recital . Baby Nephew is the easiest , happiest baby ever . He didn 't cry at all , even though he missed his nap . He 's 14 months old now , and so he 's enjoying the freedom that comes with walking . I forgot all about feeling old yesterday . Today 's another story , so I 'm going to focus on the memories of yesterday . Posted by Yesterday I had an appointment with a cardiologist regarding the irregularities that showed up on my EKG before I had a procedure done back in February . I saw the anesthesiologist circling things on it , but he brushed off my questions . My nurse practitioner didn 't see it until she called the hospital asking for it last week after I asked about it at my appointment . She wasn 't very happy they hadn 't sent it to her . The EKG showed signs of a heart attack . He also heard signs of a leaky valve . I 'm going in for more tests next week , and feeling very old . I 'm not sharing this information with very many people . My peer group knows , as I sent out an email requesting prayers . Far Away Sister knows . I 've told Sister very little . She gets very anxious , and I don 't want her worrying ( and driving me crazy ) . I told her my hiatal hernia was causing my shortness of breath when I work in the garden . ( He did raise that as a possibility . ) I said I 'm having additional tests just to be safe ( also true ) . Yesterday I was pondering the toll of stress on my body over the years . I didn 't fully recognize how stressful it was raising Daughter until after she moved out . I also know I have neglected my own health . I fear my life just got more complicated . Posted by Daughter was home last night , and was a little volatile . I dropped her insulin and it broke , so we had to make an unplanned trip to her house to get a new vial . She was grumbling about nothing for most of the trip . As we were coming back home , she said , " I know that we do better when we aren 't in the same room or the same house all the time . " It was the first time I 've heard her acknowledge that . She has often tried to guilt me into bringing her back home . I always tell her she 's happier away from me . I 'm pleased she finally seems to recognize that reality . Posted by When I talked to Daughter yesterday evening , I asked her if she had worked things out with House Manager . She said she had , and it was hard . I acknowledged the difficulty of it and praised her for doing it . She acknowledged that she is stubborn , and also that I had warned her she 'd have to keep her room clean wherever she lived . She told me she didn 't like living on her own ( though of course she 's not really on her own ) . She complained that I won 't let her move back home . I pointed out to her that she 'd be bored , and would miss the women in her house . She started to argue , but then agreed with me . She acknowledged that Mom does know a few things about life . I call that progress . Posted by Daughter called this morning while I was at breakfast with my peer group ( we had our overnight retreat last night ) . She was furious with House Manager and wanted to tell me why in great detail . I assured her I had confidence in her ability to work things out , that I love her , and that I look forward to seeing her Thursday evening . I suspect she was mad at me , too , after I hung up . I received an email from House Manager . Staff had noticed that all of Daughter 's clothes were on the floor of her closet . She said they were all dirty . House Manager asked her to place them in her hamper . She said she was sorting through them , and some of them were clean . HM said staff would help her sort through them . She said she 'd do it on her own and how she 'd have to skip program and basically went off on one of irrational rants . She did go to program . HM was explaining why Daughter 's clothes can 't be on the floor of the closet in her email . In my response , I told her I had lived through the scene she described many times , and am grateful that they are the ones dealing with it now . I don 't miss those battles at all . I 'm feeling very blessed today . Posted by Administrative Assistant is on vacation for the next two weeks . I told her she didn 't need to leave to make me appreciate her . She just laughed . She 's not in on Mondays , so yesterday was okay . She is in on Tuesdays , and today has been challenging . I 've spent time searching her computer for 2 different documents . I 've struggled to figure out how to print a brochure , finally resorting to cutting and pasting to get the pages in the order I needed . The treasurer and I spent some time looking for the card for an office supply store without success . I couldn 't remember the leaders of the prayer chain , and had difficulties logging into the prayer list email account . I was late for a meeting and then had a bit of a discussion with one member of the team who doesn 't want the various doors in the church labeled . He said that people who need to know where things are already know and he doesn 't want anyone else to know . Outsiders who come in to the church for a meeting should be personally escorted to their meeting . Fortunately , the majority of the committee was a bit more reasonable . I slept for 9 hours last night , after sleeping in yesterday morning and going home for a nap in the afternoon . I 'm feeling better today , though still don 't have much energy . My peer group retreat is tonight . I think I may reschedule the couple who wanted to meet with me this afternoon - - for some reason haven 't gotten the work I had planned for this morning done . . . . I miss Administrative Assistant . Posted by I think Daughter 's Mother 's Day gift to me was her cold . I went to bed early last night , and went back to bed this morning . I went home this afternoon and took a nap . I 'm back at the church for this evening 's meetings , but it has not been a very productive day . One of the men who was here today urged me to take care of myself because , " We need you healthy . " I 'm still pondering the comment . I don 't think that 's healthy . We need God , but my function is to point to God , and I don 't want them confusing God and me . I pray regularly that I would be able to stay out of God 's way , and that comment has me thinking I haven 't been doing a good enough job . I know he meant it as a compliment and a statement of concern . I 'm not sure the implications , though , are healthy . Much to ponder . Posted by Daughter gave me a beautiful Mother 's Day card when we celebrated adoption day a month ago . It thanked me for teaching her about God . I was touched , at least until she informed me that a staff member had made her get that one instead of the funny cat one she liked . . . . Mother 's Day is hard for her , and I reminded myself of that this morning . She spent the night here last night . She didn 't say anything about Mother 's Day this morning . She was pleasant and cooperative , but nothing special . As the choir was gathering next door to my office , I heard her wish all the women a happy Mother 's Day . I stuck my head around the corner into the choir room , " You didn 't wish me happy Mother 's Day . " She was appropriately embarrassed , and came into my office to hug me . As we were driving to a restaurant , she told me that it was a hard day . She was thinking about her birth mom , and trying to figure out what she owed her . Should she write her or call her ? She thought about how hard it must be on her , to be alone . She also knew that contact with her was not healthy for her . I was impressed . I suggested it was appropriate to say an extra prayer for her . She chose to go back to her house soon after lunch . She didn 't want to hang out with me this afternoon . I didn 't argue . I thanked her for bringing a movie for us to watch together last night . It 's been a good day , and I 'm also sad . I 'm sad for Daughter 's birth mom , and I 'm missing my own mom , too . This is the third mother 's day since her death . It 's probably been 5 or 6 years since I could carry on a conversation with her . I miss her . I went to the home improvement store and bought a compost bin . I put it together and found it a home in my backyard . Yesterday it rained most of the day , but today is sunny and cool . I 'm going to keep busy outside today . In fact , I 'm sitting on my front porch as I write this post . I 'll be ready to start my next project soon . . . . The other day Sister called , and she was obsessed about Short Niece 's recent test scores . She had done exceedingly well , but Sister was frustrated because the data she 'd been given didn 't have the norms . Far Away Sister and I are concerned because it seems that Sister is overly focused on Short Niece 's achievements . I fear she 's giving her the message she has to be perfect , and if she isn 't , she 's not good enough . I pointed out to Sister that the information she was seeking wouldn 't make any difference in who Daughter was , and suggested she needed to stop obsessing . She insisted she wasn 't obsessing and continued to talk about why the information was so important . Short Niece is 7 years old and intelligent and academic achievement score are off the top of the scale . Does it really make a difference how far off they are ? I finally told her I 'd give her something else to obsess over , and told her I was going to be having some medical tests done . Part of the reason I told her was to help her put things in perspective . Predictably , she began asking lots of questions . She was assuming the worst , and I think thought I was going to drop dead any moment . I assured her I was a considerate sister , and would wait until school was out for the summer to make it easier for her as a teacher . She wasn 't amused . I 'm not concerned , which is very frustrating for her . I knew she would call Far Away Sister as soon as she could , but she 'd have to wait until after school because Far Away Sister is tow time zones west of us . I predicted that Far Away Sister would call me that evening . Far Away Sister was 24 hours late . When she called , I pointed that out . She laughed , and explained she 'd had a class the previous evening and it was too late to call me when she got done . I shared the same information I had with Sister , and then we went on to talk about other , more important things . She wasn 't concerned . My sisters are so predictable . Posted by My garden angel came today to work with me in my gardens . She started working on them before I even moved in back in September 2010 . In fact , she and her husband convinced me to get permission to allow them to start trimming from the previous owner prior to my closing on the house . At one time , this house had magnificent gardens , but then the elderly woman who had so lovingly tended them died . Her husband didn 't do as much , and after his death they received no attention for over a year while the heirs prepared the house for sale . The summer of 2010 they mowed the lawn , and that was all . No fertilizer , watering , or any other care . Things were overgrown and full of weeds when I took possession . Last year the work began . I decided I wanted the area beside the patio to become a butterfly garden . I wanted to plant clematis to grow on the privacy fence . The lower half of the privacy fence was hidden behind overgrown bushes . I took them out last summer and repainted the fence . The rest of the area was full of ferns and hostas . I transplanted the hostas , but didn 't show any mercy to the ferns . Gardeners passed on plants they were discarding . Here is what that area looks like now : I 'm eager to see the various flowers bloom this summer . I planted one clematis at the end of last summer , and two more this spring . You can see the one I planted last summer is beginning to climb . Some of the hostas found a new home around this tree . The neighbor 's yard begins right beyond that tree . These are views of the garden under the family room window . I 'm scaling it back , since I can 't see it . A garden shed will eventually go to the left of the window . You can see where the overgrown tree scraped the paint off the aluminum siding . It will be repainted later this summer . Some men from the church are going to do it for me . They volunteered . ﻿ Last summer this garden in the back corner was overgrown with weeds . You couldn 't see the fences . We cleared it out . There are some peonies in there that didn 't bloom last summer . They have buds on them this year . I wouldn 't let my garden angel prune those lilac bushes yet because they are just getting ready to bloom . They are in the shade , and are the last in the area to bloom . This is the side of the garage . The iris are beautiful this year . Last year they didn 't bloom . Here are my two raised garden beds . I have planted seeds in the one at the left . The one on the right has some strawberry plants and some herbs I planted in boxes I can move inside come winter . I also have the tomatoes and peppers I started inside sitting in them today . I 'll wait a little longer to transplant them . I spread mulch from yesterday 's work day at the church between and behind them . I planted berry bushes along the back fence last summer . I am looking forward to enjoying blackberries and raspberries this summer . The blueberries won 't bear fruit this year . I picked off the flowers so they would strengthen their root system this year . Daughter called , mad at staff and started swearing . I told her I didn 't need to listen to her swear and she could call back when she had calmed down . She did , and apologized . She continues to work hard to draw me into her drama , but it 's not working . I mowed , edged , trimmed , weeded , hauled and spread mulch , and basically worked hard in the garden most of the day . I 'm sore and tired this evening , and very content . I 'm sitting on my patio listening to the wind blow in the trees , the birds sing , the neighbor kids play , and there is the sound of a lawn being mowed somewhere in the neighborhood . My garden angel was down south for the winter , returning a couple of weeks ago . She told me she can see a huge difference in me - - I 'm much happier . I agree . Daughter called this morning , upset with one of the staff members at her program . I told her she was a big girl and could deal with it . She wasn 't very happy with me . She will be with me tonight , and I suspect by the time she gets home she will have forgotten this morning 's frustration . I know part of the issue is that Program Manager is leaving for a new job , and I 'm sure everyone at the program is on edge as a result . This morning we have a large group of workers outside with a rented chipper chipping all the limb and brush we cleared on Saturday . I saw several heading to the work site carrying chain saws . I 'm sure they will be comparing their toys and having lots of fun today . They 'll take a lunch break and go someplace where they can get milkshakes . If I didn 't have a meeting 60 miles away this afternoon , I 'd be tempted to join them . . . . Nurse sent out an email today about Daughter complaining about being sick . Case Manager jumped all over it , demanding to know if a doctor 's appointment had been scheduled for her . They provided an opportunity for me to provide more education . Bottom line : if she doesn 't have a fever or you haven 't seen evidence that she 's vomiting , don 't believe that she is sick . Posted by Daughter called this morning , complaining that she couldn 't sing a note . She has a talent show on Thursday , and is trying to create some drama around it . I didn 't bite . I reminded her that when she complains to me about talent shows I tell her she can 't participate . Her voice sounded fine to me , which she didn 't want to hear . She called again at lunch time . I was at a clergy gathering , so it was a brief conversation . She told me she was too sick to stay at her program and had called the house to come pick her up . I got a text from Program Manager a little later , telling me Daughter had called for pick up , but didn 't seem to be too sick to flirt with the new guy . I should have texted her house and told them to send her straight to bed since she was so sick . I was enjoying fellowship with my colleagues , though , so I decided to let them figure it out on their own . I 'm blessed to be able to share fellowship and discussion with a wonderful group of colleagues . It 's one of the blessings that grew out of my move here . Daughter is not calling me nearly as often . Usually she calls morning and evening to check in . It 's nice not to have to deal with the drama . This morning I was listening to NPR 's On Being on my way to pick up Daughter . I was intrigued by the story of the man she was interviewing . When I got to the church , I bought the Kindle edition and actually was able to start it before worship , since I had finished the sermon and such last night . It was a good Sunday . I was missed last Sunday . We had some visitors today . A couple who visited on Easter were back . I 'm meeting with them tomorrow . We met a couple from the church for lunch , and had a good visit . After I took Daughter home , I came back and did some work in the yard . Then I sat outside and read my book . I 'm almost done with it , and and I 'm enjoying it . I made a grocery run and did some cleaning and laundry this evening . I decided that winter is over . I took the flannel sheets and heavy comforter off my bed . I even managed to flip the mattress without help . Spring , being outdoors , not living with Daughter 's drama , and serving a healthy , responsive church , and I am happy and have the energy to do all sorts of fun things . I 've convinced the property guys to give me some of the mulch they shred on Thursday . They tried to convince me it would be poor quality and wouldn 't last . I told them if it lasted this year , that would be enough , and it was much cheaper than going out and buying it . After they figured out they couldn 't convince me I didn 't want it , one of the men offered to deliver it in his truck . " It 's kind of on my way home . " I 'm grateful . Posted by This morning we had a work day at the church . We had a great turn out , and it was a very productive day . I think I was the youngest one there , and I 'm 54 . The oldest works was over 90 . The landscaping out front got cleaned up . The sign was scrubbed . . We also started clearing away brush and overgrowth near our pond . It was very overgrown out there , and there were huge grape vines growing up into the trees . It was hard work . We were amazed by how much we got cleared . The men were having all sorts of fun with various tools , including chain saws . There was one tree that had them bring trucks down with tow ropes to pull it out of the pond . As we worked , all sorts of plans were being made for the area . I don 't think the beach or baptisms in the pond will become reality . I doubt they 'll build a Huckleberry Finn raft . I hope they don 't have me preach from a boat with a leak timed to make sure I don 't go too long . . There are some things that I know will happen . We are renting a chipper on Thursday to deal with all the brush . There is still a lot of work to do out there , but I think we will have a barbecue in June to show the congregation what 's out there and what we 've accomplished . We are hosting a day camp at the end of July , so that has been a powerful motivation to get work done around the pond . The drain was clogged earlier this year , and the men property guys are debating how best to rebuild the drain . We 're fortunate enough to have a couple of engineers in the congregation , which helps . We also have a couple of people who work for the state and know the regulations are regarding wetlands . That means we won 't be getting a beach , which I think is a good thing . Oh , and it is a smallish pond that isn 't more than 3 feet deep at its deepest point , so the beach idea was never a good one . . Daughter 's parting words to me this morning weren 't very nice . It 's been a while since I 've been the target of one of her rants . I 'd forgotten how painful it is . When I came into the kitchen this morning , I discovered that Daughter had eaten a banana during the night . I asked , " When did you eat the banana ? " I wasn 't angry , didn 't yell , just curious . . That set her off . " Not too long ago . " I didn 't respond . I didn 't respond as she ranted , raved , announced she wasn 't taking her pills , wouldn 't be needing a lunch , would never come to see me again , etc . . . . . I 'm glad I no longer have to deal with this on a daily basis . She sent me a text from the bus apologizing and telling me it was better if she didn 't see me anymore . She stated she hated herself . I responded , " I love you and will see you on Sunday . " Daughter called this evening and complained about staff at her house . It was the first call of complaint I 've gotten from her since Saturday morning . I 'm impressed . She has settled in nicely . I went to an excellent seminar yesterday about leading change in times of change and turmoil . I spent a couple of hours transcribing the notes this morning . I think I had 5 pages of notes before I was done , down from 7 . I 'm out of practice on note taking - - so it was a challenge . The speaker had lots of good information . As a bonus , I ran into two colleagues and had the opportunity to eat lunch with them . Things are good here . The sun finally came out this afternoon , and it is much warmer than it was last week . This weekend I 'm going to do some planting in my new garden beds . I 'm looking forward to it . Posted by I 'm a pastor and a mother . I was ordained in October of 1985 , and began serving this suburban congregation in October of 2010 . In March of 1990 I was asked to take an almost 3 year old " for the weekend . " Five years into the weekend I adopted her . Daughter carries a number of diagnoses : Reactive Attachment Disorder , Post - Traumatic Stress Disorder , Central Auditory Processing Disorder , Bipolar , seizure disorder , and type 1 diabetes . She moved into a group home in November of 2011 . She attends a sheltered workshop and sings in the church choir . View my complete profile Daughter became my foster child in 1990 , shortly before she turned 3 , and I adopted her when she was 8 . Capital is a state capital in the midwest . In October of 2010 I became pastor of a church on the edge of town . Administrative Assistant is my keeper . She runs the office at the church , and at heart is an artist . She helps turn my crazy ideas into reality . Program is where Daughter spends most of her days . She does some piece work and participates in some classes and activities . She 'd like to get community employment , but still has some work to do to make that possible . Sister Best Friend and I met in seminary . We vacationed together for a number of years , and then she got married . We still do some cooperative worship planning . She seves a church less than an hour away . Far Away Sister is 4 . 5 years young than me . She lives across the country . She was an electrical engineer until she stayed home to raise Tall Niece and Nephew . Now that they are graduating , she is planning to become a high school math teacher . Sister is 10 years young than me . She is divorced and the mother of Short Niece . She lives in the same state as Capital . She is a teacher . Brother is 11 1 / 2 years younger than I am . He finally got married in February of 2009 . He lives near Sister . They are the parents of Baby Nephew . Not sure where to begin . This blog has been neglected since April . I have not felt the need to write here of vomit my drama onto these pages at all . My . . .