So , I 've decided that as I 'm not the worst editor / beta in the history of existence , that I 'm going to have a writer 's clinic where people can upload work for constructive review . I 'll do my best to get back to everyone within 2 weeks with any help you 've asked for . Requests can be something really simple like : " Don 't give me no stupid excuse ! I know what you did ! Now shut the fuck up and go make me food wrench ! " I felt the belt hitting me in the face . I 've been living with my uncle George ever since I was eight - years - old . He was the only known relative that my social agent was able to contact after my parents died . I remember everything : my parents ' deaths . Mrs . Costa 's attempts to find me a good , suitable home , George 's personality before I realized how much of a monster he was . All of this affected my life and more . Because of George , I had the worst self - esteem in the world . I had never thought of myself pretty . I grabbed and piled my thick , curly , raven - black hair into a bun as I sat at my desk for today . My class isn 't the most boring ; it was actually pretty fun to learn about . Especially with the assignments that my teacher , Mr . Ferguson , gives to us . " Good morning class ! " Mr . Ferguson 's deep baritone voice roared . Everybody , including myself , replied . Mr . Ferguson started to write on the chalkboard as he began his lesson for today . " Cazin Avin ! You are so DEAD ! " yelled an angered female voice . A young boy , who looked to be twenty - years - old , ran down the hallway in a magnificent castle . " Sorry Menia Ivy ! It was an accident ! " Cazin laughed as he saw his younger sister , Ivy , chase him into his father 's throne room . " Uh , nothing . " He squeaked innocently . Seconds later , a plum [ Do you mean plump ? ] female brunette entered the throne room . Her amber brown hair was dripping with water . Her purple dress stuck to her like a second skin and her silver eyes were filled with rage . Princess Menia Ivy Psyard wasn 't pleased with her older brother Cazin . " Cazin Avin Psyard ! You little brat , how dare you trifle with my beauty products ! " Menia stomped over to the rest of her siblings , grabbing Cazin . " Sorry little sister , but I didn 't want Hensley Galsworthy going after you . You two are not ajutors . " Cazin stated calmly . This however got Menia even more angry . " Rahat ! I don 't want you meddling horribly in my life , Cazin . " Menia pushed Cazin into a wall and walked away . Zyzi glared at her younger , stupid , obnoxious brother . " Well actually you 're gonna be the first one to find an ajutor , supposedly I 'm next , then Zyzi , then Abrin , Sweia , and finally Menia . Mom and dad are excited by the news . They are already planning for the ajutors arrival : rooms , clothing , everything . It 's just a matter of time - " " Who 's mine ? " Cazin demanded . His dark green eyes flashed gold , the dragon inside stirred at the news of his ajutor , or mate . Shyke raised and eyebrow in amusement . Request : I want to get more feedback , and don 't know how for this story ! ! Is it because the start is a little slow ? Is it because it takes me a while to get another chapter up ? Or maybe because the summary doesn 't grab people 's attention ? or something else ? Help please 🙂 Summary : There was no way for them to be together . She was betrothed to the future king . He was her mate . He wasn 't backing down withough a fight . She was going to be his . Screw the king . This dragon wasn 't going to give her up … even if it cost him his life . " Damn it , " Lucian growled as he raced after the man running through the streets . He had almost had him , but that fruit cart had gotten in his way . He had run straight into it as if it was pushed in his way on purpose . Without giving it another thought , he felt the change come over his body and he allowed it . His wings folded out and his body stretched . Soon he was a solid black dragon . His red eyes sought out the man that he was sent to get . He had spikes that were razor sharp all down his back and his tail was clubbed for hitting and killing . His teeth were larger and sharper than the biggest shark or predator . He was as big as an elephant , maybe even the size of two elephants put together . He was as tall as a giraffe 's head and as mean as a rattlesnake . He would also use all of these things to his advantage if the need came to be . Lucian swooped down and grabbed the man with his claws , causing the man to scream like a girl and twist and turn , trying to get free . Lucian could tell he was a shifter himself , and he was probably of the Wolf clan . Lucian was chasing him because he had stolen from several people and then resold the stuff as his own . That was a high crime in these parts and sometimes the sentence was death . That was why Lucian now held the man in his claws . Lucian was a bounty hunter ; meaning he chased down all the guys that ran or missed their calling by the city leaders . This was one of those annoying men . He was one of the easiest to catch for Lucian . Usually people changed into their animal forms and ran for the forest , making it harder for Lucian to see them and to catch them in the midst of all the trees and shrubbery . It was a nuisance and the people usually ended up hurt by the time Lucian finally captured them . If the wounds weren 't from the claws of his dragon form , then by the fist of the man that was inside of the dragon 's body ; they were one in the same . The man kept screaming and speaking in a foreign language . He was getting on Lucian 's nerves , so he tightened his grip , making it impossible for oxygen to reach the man 's lungs . The man gasped and finally Lucian let him go ever so slightly . He decided to have his fun with the man and got a mischievous look in his eyes . He dropped the man about 1000 feet above the ground . The man screamed all the way down . When he was about 300 feet from the ground , Lucian dove down and grabbed him in his claws . He was small so he fit in his claws easily . He saw the castle up ahead in the mirrored door way to the other realm . He flew up as high as he could and flew straight into the Royal Realm . He was using one of the only ways for someone to get into the Royal Realm . He could have used one of the certain places located in the city of every clan , forest , etc . , but instead he used the easier way ; flying . Lucian was only allowed in the Royal Realm was because he knew the prince and was one of his bounty hunters . He was an asshole , but the prince still kept him around ; tolerating him , though at times they were often caught fighting and yelling . Lucian , having had brought several men in before , knew exactly where to go . He stopped just above the entrance to the jailhouse , or dungeon , and dropped the man . He landed on his feet and looked around . He changed back into his human form , his naked body not really bothering him . Since Lucian was a shifter , he had to get used to nudity ; for it was a natural occurrence once one went from one form to the other . It happened to every shifter . He grabbed the robe left especially for him and put it on . He was left clothing everywhere , making it easier for him to talk to people , as was everyone else who was as shifter and lived in or around the palace . The robe he was wearing now was black , fitting his mood and matching his hair . He had it loose , and down at that moment , but normally you only saw him with his hair in a ponytail . His hair came to about his mid back and was coal black ; just like his dragon self . Since he was six feet tall , he always had to duck to go into the jailhouse , or some of the palace doors . His muscles bulged out from under the robe , letting everyone around him know he was dangerous . He caught a few of the women looking over at him and smiled . Women loved Lucian and he took advantage of it . He stepped toward one of the women , but they gave him a knowing look and walked on . Had he already slept with that one ? He threw that thought to the back of his mind and started imagining one of those brunettes under him as he had his way with them . Lucian knew he was a player , hell , everyone knew he was a player , and he was no virgin . He slept around with women of all sorts , sometimes more than once . There were mainly shifters that visited him , but he did sleep with witches , fairies and vampires . He liked the vampires because they could handle it rough and were all very beautiful . However , he didn 't particularly like it when they accidentally bit him in the moment . He usually ripped them away and threw them across the room when that happened . He would also roar at them , causing them to fear him . The only reason they kept coming back was because he was a good lover and knew what he was doing . Lucian threw those thoughts to the back of his mind as he walked over to the man he had dropped earlier from the sky . He was favoring his right leg and groaned as Lucian lifted him to his feet . " Come with me , " he said , dragging the man behind him ; holding onto nothing but the man 's shirt . Right when the shirt was about to tear , Lucian stopped walking . He looked up at his best friend and smirked . Another man was down and only one more to be brought in for the month . Lucian was used to this type of thing . At the beginning of every month , he was brought a list with about twenty names on it . During that month , he had to bring in all those men unless he heard differently from the Prince himself . The prince just happened to be Lucian 's best friend , and the man he was looking at now . Lucian nodded . If he had failed to bring in the man , he lost his credibility and power over the men he was in charge of . It was his job and if he did it terribly , then he would lose his income and his lodging . He lived in the palace with the prince and needed this job for it to remain that way . Living with the prince meant that you could basically get away with anything , as long as you didn 't get caught , and Lucian knew that . Lucian took a moment to study his friend . The Prince 's name was Mateo , and he was one of the youngest children of the King and Queen . The eldest brother , Nikolai , was mated and had two lovely kids , one of each gender . He was a shifter and took after their mother in the way of him being a tiger . He also looked a lot like his mother , taking after her in her confidence and skills at talking and knowing everything about everyone . If you wanted to know what was happening in the castle , you either went to Nikolai or the queen . The second eldest brother , Kaden , was a bear just like Mateo and their father . They both looked like their father and took after him in his size and skills at fighting . " You 're running out of time Lucian . Think you can bring in that last man before the month is over ? You only have a day and six hours . This one is a fairy and will take you to the heart of the fairy kingdom . I don 't think you can do it , " Mateo teased the man in front of him . It was 6 : 00 in the evening and was approaching dusk . His guards had already come forward and took the prisoner to his new cell while Lucian had been studying him . It was only them now . " I think that you are wrong , and you know it . I will fulfill my task . I can 't afford to be kicked out of the castle and live on my own . Who would cook for me ? Gina would be without a job , for I eat all her food ; even when it 's bad , " he replied . He got a laugh out of the prince and Lucian smiled himself . He rarely laughed or smiled , and now was one of those rare occurrences when he did . Lucian nodded and followed Mateo out the door and into the heart of the castle . They passed an open door and Lucian caught sight of Mateo 's sister , Tamara , playing the piano that took up most of the room . She was singing and her eyes were closed . She had no clue that she had gained a small audience . Lucian had stopped walking to watch and listen and Mateo soon realized his friend had . When he did realize it , he walked back to see what Lucian was looking at so intently . " Don 't even think of it , Lucian . That is my baby sister in there and you will not take her innocence away from her if I have anything to say about it . If I hear of you with her , then we will have some problems between us . Do I make myself clear ? " The prince threatened his friend . He knew that if Lucian was given a challenge , he normally went for it , but this wasn 't the time nor the place for that . Lucian needed to understand that Mateo was serious when she said that Lucian needed to stay away from his sister . " You have my word that I will not go after your sister , " Lucian said , still not taking his eyes off the beauty in front of him . Though he was promising Mateo not to touch his sister , he still daydreamed about her and how she would feel under him , screaming his name … He was brought out of his thoughts as Tamara stopped playing the piano and glanced at him standing in the doorway . She looked surprised at first , but then her golden eyes lit up and she smiled at him coyly . Lucian couldn 't look away . Those golden eyes of hers drew him in . No one knew why Tamara had golden eyes . No one in her family did , nor any of her ancestors . It was a weird genetic flaw , but one that was appreciated by Lucian because it helped bring out her beauty . Though Lucian had heard rumors that Tamara was a spoiled brat and acted like a bitch at times , he had never seen it in person and found it hard to believe . When she was around him she would walk with her head held high and her curly blonde hair pulled over to the side and tied with a ribbon . It always dangled teasingly over her right breast and made Lucian want to reach over and brush it off . She was also blessed with a clear , creamy complexion and a figure to die for . She had a round , bubble butt with a nice bosom that ranged in the C size ; not too big or small , more like perfect size … in Lucians mind at least . Tamara could feel the eyes on her which made her look up . She was met with the coal black eyes of the great Lucian himself . He was known around the castle as one of the greatest bounty hunters around . He was the forbidden fruit and she wanted him . She thought that he wanted her too , but her brother 's were being a nuisance when it came to a relationship that involved their baby sister and a male figure . It drove Tamara crazy . She usually got her way and this was no different . She wanted Lucian and she would try everything in her power to get him . When Tamara was young , she used to hate herself , thinking that no one would love her because she was almost completely human . She was born unable to shift and it drove her mad . He brother 's all took after one of her parents , but being the last born , she got nothing . The only thing she got from her mother was her frailty . She looked like she could easily be broken , but all the self defense classes her father made her participate in made her stronger than she looked . She needed to be strong in order to hold up against Lucian . He was supposed to be a rough , but amazing lover . As she got older , Tamara figured out that she could use her body to get her way with guys . She had the perfect figure ; one most girls would die to have , and she knew how to use it . She would shake her butt a little more than normal when a guy was around , and bat her long eyelashes at him . Usually she had them as putty in her hands ; doing anything and everything to please her . This was apparently not the case for Lucian because she had tried to get him in her bed for a year now . He always seemed to be able to look the other way , but this year she planned to change that . The way he was looking at her now said differently . She wanted to have Lucian make love to her , though she didn 't plan on telling her parents . They would have a cow if they found out . They wanted her to stay the little innocent princess , but unbeknownst to her parents , or siblings , she was not a virgin anymore . She hadn 't been a virgin for about a year now . She was 34 in age according to her world , but according to human years , she was only 16 . The next guy in her line of sight was Lucian and she was willing to do anything to get him . That was one of the reasons she started walking toward him now . She had yet to see her brother standing with Lucian ; her eyes were only for the sexy dark figure . Lucian felt his mouth get dry and he quickly wetted it . He watched as Tamara licked her lips , driving him crazy with her teasing . He had wanted to bed her since the first time he saw her about 2 years ago . She was usually locked in her room or somewhere studying or learning how to defend herself . He had seen her when she was younger , but not when she looked so mature and so alluring . It made him almost go weak in the knees to catch a glimpse of her . He wondered if she wanted him as bad as he wanted her . Though most shifter 's waited for their mates to lose themselves with , Lucian was not like that . He was willing to have any woman any time and would always welcome them . He loved sex ; it made him feel powerful over the opposite gender . He wanted to experience that with Tamara , but knew he would probably be killed or worse by her brothers . It made him furious to be friends with the prince at times . If he weren 't , it would make it easier to just do it with Tamara ; damn the consequences . " Let 's go Lucian , you still have one more man to capture and I 'm hungry . " Mateo grabbed Lucian and started pulling him after himself . He didn 't like the way that Lucian and Tamara were staring at each other . It was unnerving . He didn 't want Lucian to have anything to do with his baby sister . " What is on the menu tonight from good old Gina ? " Lucian asked , shaking his head and clearing his thoughts . He needed to focus on that last capture . If he messed this one up , he could lose his job ; a job he loved and cherished . He didn 't want to lose it ; that was for sure . " I think it 's steak , but I am not sure , " His friend replied . Lucian heard his stomach growl and Mateo gave off a laugh . It was humorous that Lucian 's stomach gave him away when he was trying to hide his hunger from his friend . " Let 's eat , " Lucian said , pushing open the grand doors that led to the dining room . Mateo 's family was already seated around the long table that filled the chamber . It usually held about 50 people , but now it only hosted the small family . " Welcome my son , " the large male that vacated the seat at the head of the table said as he stood up . He patted his son on the back and watched as Mateo took his seat . Lucian stood there for a moment , waiting for the king to turn to him , but he didn 't . Thinking it strange , Lucian didn 't say anything , only sat down . " Let 's eat , " the queen said , wearing her normal attire for dinner : a dress made from the richest silk and a feather in her hair that was always pulled up into a bun . She had this attire every night for their dinner and it was easy to tell what time it was by looking at her out fit . Lucian had come to be accustomed to her different , and rather strange , outfits . If she was wearing a cool dress , it was lunch time and she was taking her normal walk around the castle grounds . If she was wearing a shirt and skirt , it was breakfast . It was weird how sometimes she dressed according to her moods also . She wore green at the moment , so she had to be envious of something . Lucian was sure that he would find out what that was soon enough . " Hello father . Lucian has brought us another prisoner . That prison is filling up , and I think we need to start having trials soon . " Mateo grabbed a slice of bread and layered it with butter before he put another slice on top . He was trying to get his parent 's focus on Lucian . He could tell something was up , and he wasn 't sure he wanted to know what that something was yet . He was sure that if he could distract them , they would forget whatever it was they were planning on telling him . " Good job Lucian , but we will discuss that later , " The king said , not even turning to look at Lucian . It was unlike the man to be so rude , and Lucian was surprised . Something drastic must have happened . Lucian was excited to find out exactly what . It looked like the king was getting ready to say something when he was interrupted . " Nicodemus do not be so rude , " Latonya , the queen , broke in . Nicodemus turned to her and shot her a glare . " There is only one , your highness , " Lucian replied curtly . He wanted to find out what was wrong , not settle for this meager talk of prisoners . That could wait . " Now that , that is out of the way , Mateo , we have some news to discuss with you . Lucian you may remain here because this will affect you too . " The king looked at each of the faces in the room . Lucian was all ears now , wondering what could be happening . " Continue father , you have all of our attention now , " Mateo said tiredly . He seemed like he might already know what was happening , but Lucian did not and he wanted to know . He liked to know everything and this was an opportunity to do so . Mateo studied his father . He had yet to figure out if the news was bad or good . He waited patiently for his father to speak and finally he did . " You are to be married . The wedding will be in three months . The young girl is of the faerie race and is a water fairy . You will wed her and then peace will be amongst our races again , " Nicodemus said , astounding Lucian and Mateo all at the same time . It seemed that everyone else knew what was happening , but them . It was then that Tamara chose to enter the dining room . She had been late because she had gone back to her room to change for the dinner . Her piano playing clothes were not good enough when Lucian was there . She wanted to impress him anyway she could and this was her way of doing that . Lucian stared as she walked toward the table . She was now dressed in a ruby red dress that pushed her cleavage up and hugged her hips smoothly . It flowed down past her knees and drug against the floor when she walked . She had on some high heels and some red lipstick to match . Her eyes were accented with some eye liner and some mascara of the simplest kind . Her gold eyes shone with lust as she looked over at Lucian . She only had eyes for him . After hearing a cough , she spoke . " What did I miss , mother ? " she asked Latonya , sitting down in her seat next to her mother . She smiled up at her mother and her mother gave her a knowing look . Lucian watched the scene , but was still too wrapped up in his thoughts of what he could do to Tamara after that darn dress was removed . It was showing a lot , but hiding so much at the same time . It was a teaser and he hated it . " What is the reason behind this marriage ? " Mateo spoke for the first time since finding out the news . He was still having trouble wrapping his head around it . " The reason my son is to make an alliance . The vampires and witches have been scheming against us . They are going to start a war with us and we 're not sure when it will occur , but we need as many allies as we can . The shifters are on our side along with the werewolves . We need the faeries to have the upper hand in this battle . This alliance will concrete that . Though the girl is not royalty , she has lived with one of the wisest faeries that has ever lived and has been taught much . She is strong with her craft and will benefit you greatly Mateo . I also heard she has a temper to boot and a stubborn streak . She might bring about some different feelings from you , son , " the king said , answering Mateo 's question . " What does this have to do with me ? " Lucian asked . The servants brought out the main courses and set them in front of everyone . Nicodemus said grace and then they started eating . Lucian repeated his question and finally got an answer . " You , Lucian have the job of going to get the girl and getting her back here safely . There will be danger on the way because she lives so far away in the farthest part of the land . She lives near the ocean in her realm and is a couple days journey away from any portal . That is only if you make it before the winter storms start in . I have seen some storm clouds in the horizon , so it might be a few days before the first storm hits . While you are there , you are welcome to get your last person on the list . If you are late bringing him in , we will pardon you this one time because you are on a mission for us . Do not fail us though . You are dismissed as you finish eating , " Nicodemus replied , not even glancing in Lucian 's direction ; just talking to the wall and his plate as he ate in between words . It bugged Lucian to know that he had no respect for him as to look him in the eyes as he was speaking , but he understood . Nicodemus feared for his Daughter 's innocence and wanted Lucian to stay away from her . It was why he doubled her guard every time that Lucian was heard to be in the castle . It drove him mad , but Lucian could understand somewhat . " I 'm off to rest Mateo . I 'll take off first thing in the morning . I still need to get my head wrapped around this , " Lucian said to his friend , patting him on the back . " You get your head wrapped around it ? I am the one that has to marry a complete stranger . I only get three months to spend with her to get to know her . I have no idea what I 'm going to do . Promise me that you 'll help me Lucian … Promise me ! " Mateo begged . Lucian looked into his friends eyes and nodded . " You have my word , " Lucian said , turning and walking out of the room . Right as he was about to close the door to his room he was tackled onto the floor . He was instantly on alert until he felt something brush against his bare skin . The robe had been pulled open at the chest and someone was rubbing their hands on it . He looked up and was met with golden eyes . Tamara was in his room and wearing nothing but a red robe . How she had changed so far was beyond him , but as of right now he didn 't mind . He watched as she stood up and slowly let the robe fall to the floor . " I want you , " she said huskily , walking toward him . Lucian jumped to his feet and started moving backwards . " They will not know . Do not fear . I will not let them harm you , " she said as she finally reached him . She ran her hands over his chest again before dropping his robe to the ground . She rubbed her chest up against his . " I 've wanted this for a while . " She pushed him back and he fell down against his bed . It was then his animal side took over . No woman was going to dominate him . He was the boss when it came to being in the bed with a woman . He threw Tamara off of him and switched their positions . This time he was hovering over her . " Let 's get this over with , " he said , eyes flashing black . Lucian woke up with the sun hitting his face and an arm draped across his chest . He rubbed his eyes before turning to face the owner of the arm . It was then he realized what he had done and what had happened . " Oh shit ! " he said . He jumped out of bed and threw on his robe . He ran his hands through his head and stared at the girl in his bed . Mateo would kill him if he found out that he had bedded his sister . He was dead . He had to leave right then . He had a mission to do and he could use that as an excuse . Now he just had to get out of there without waking Tamara . It shouldn 't have been that hard … except someone knocked on the door . " Lucian , I know you 're in there , " Mateo 's voice rang out . Lucian stared in horror at the closed bedroom door . He ran over to Tamara and placed a hand over her mouth . She woke up and screamed into his hand . Luckily it blocked the sound . He motioned for her to be quiet . " You 're brother 's here , " he whispered . He was quiet enough so that Mateo wouldn 't hear with his heightened senses . Tamara stared at the door as another knock came . " Come on man ! I know you 're in there . Stop ignoring me and open the freaking door . This is getting old man . Do you have someone in there with you ? " Mateo was starting to get annoyed . Usually the only reasons Lucian wouldn 't open his door was if he had a woman with him , or if he was angry . It had to be the first one because he didn 't seem to be mad . If anyone had a reason to be mad , it was Mateo . He had to freaking marry some stranger . It was messed up . Lucian had to think . He had to get Tamara out of the room without Mateo knowing . He would have to get her to go to the window . He could fly her up to her room and be back in a few moments . He would do that . He grabbed Tamara and threw her over his shoulder . She didn 't say a word , trusting Lucian for the moment . When he raced to the window he gasped . What was he planning ? Tamara closed her eyes and felt the wind rushing through her hair . She opened her eyes and found herself on the back of a black dragon . It was Lucian , only in his shifted form . He was such a beauty with his coal black scales and red eyes . He flew up to her room and motioned with his head for her to get off . She begrudgingly did so . She really wanted to fly around with him all day , but she was naked and needed to take a shower and get the scent of sex off her skin . She would have to avoid her brother for most of the time . If he smelt Lucian on her she was dead . She watched as Lucian flew down to her window and was a little disappointed . She imagined the first time they had sex as romantic . Last night had been amazing , but she could tell his heart wasn 't in it . She wanted him to love her … not just have sex with her . If anything she wanted to make love to her , not like every other girl he slept with . She wanted to feel special by maybe waking up to a tray with breakfast or a red rose on her pillow . Something … anything romantic , she just wanted that to happen with her and Lucian . She had to make sure he never found a mate . He was hers . Lucian swooped back down into his room and changed into this human form . He was now naked , but again that was natural . He opened the door and smiled at his friend . Mateo stared at him a moment , a look of annoyance on his face . " What took so long ? " Mateo huffed . Then he took in a big breath of air and everything went sour . Mateo could smell sex on his friend 's skin , but the worst part was that Mateo could smell Tamara on him . Lucian had bedded his sister . Now his blood was boiling . " How dare you ! " Mateo attacked Lucian . He swung his fist and connected with his jaw , causing a resounding crack to echo around the room . Lucian grabbed his jaw and stared at his friend before a look of anger passed over his eyes . He blocked the next punch Mateo threw , but didn 't ' see the leg that was coming toward him . Lucian fell backwards as his feet flew out from under him . Mateo was on him in a second . " Why did you have to be so stupid ? " Mateo yelled at Lucian while punching him every chance he got . Lucian had blood running from his mouth before he could get a hit back in . He punched Mateo right in the nose and sent him sprawling backwards . He was stronger than his friend , but Mateo had surprised him , giving himself the upper hand . Lucian wouldn 't let that happen again . He was not in the mood to take crap from his friend , no matter what happened . " Dude , stop . I have a mission to complete and I don 't want to leave on bad terms , " Lucian said , trying to get Mateo to stop , but Mateo was too far gone in his fury . It wasn 't moments later that Mateo started to shake as his body took over and his change was coming to be . Mateo 's change took a little a little longer than normal because he was trying to rush it . If this was a real life and death fight , Lucian would have taken advantage of that elapsed time and would have already killed Mateo before he could complete the change . Since that was not the case , he let his fried change . Mateo stood up at 7 feet tall on his back legs . He was a huge tiger and he knew how to use his strength and speed to his advantage . He got down on his front paws and stuck his rear in the air , daring Lucian to make a move . He was on the defensive at the moment , but as soon as he went into the offensive , Lucian would be in trouble if he stayed in this human form . He was a large dragon and was continuing to grow , but he would be slow in the ground ; his only weapon his fire . If he was in an open room that was big enough for him to fly around in , he would win ; this room wasn 't like that . The ceiling barely came to the average 15 feet tall . It was about 14 and a half feet tall . The light made it even shorter in the middle . The dressers and bed also made it hard for his large size to move around . When he picked this room , he only did so for the colors , not for the room and space it had . He also chose it for its open balcony that you could walk on . That was where he took off into the sky with Tamara on his back . It provided and easy escape . That was what Lucian was going to do now . He would fly out the window , stop at his base and get his assignment and picture of his target and be on his way . He only needed a few changes of clothes and he could get that down the road after he grabbed some money out of his stash at his base . He took off running toward the balcony ; the doors still open from earlier . Mateo , knowing what his friend was planning on doing took after him . It was a match of speed and soon Mateo was pulling ahead . Lucian pushed himself harder and jumped over the railing . Mateo slammed on the brakes , making his paws skid across the smooth surface and slam his body into the side of the railing . He had lost this time , but Lucian had to come back with his bride and he would deal with him then . He hadn 't yet decided if he would tell his father or brothers yet . For now he would deal with it on his own . Lucian was in his dragon form before his eyes had a chance to blink . He was flying through the air , his wings keeping him in the air . He turned to see Mateo now in his human form and his arms crossed over his chest . He looked pissed and ready to murder Lucian . He shook his head . How could he have been so stupid ? Tamara was a tease and he knew it . He knew it would cause problems between him and Mateo , but last night he had been so caught up in the moment and in her delicious looking body that he had been distracted from reason . It was mistake he may not live through . If Mateo told his parents , he was screwed and his very existence would be hanging on a limb . He shook his head and landed in the courtyard near his base . The base was really just a building on the outskirts of the castle gardens . It was home to Sebastian , an old retired shifter that used to be the best of his kind . He was a fox and as cunning as they came . He probably knew everything about you before you even met him . He was that good and that sly . You had to watch what you did and said around him . He was a bounty hunter back in the day and might good at it . He retired after he lost his leg in a terrible accident . Now he trains young male shifters to be bounty hunters . Never in the history of hunters has there been a girl bounty hunter . It wasn 't that the girls were too weak to be bounty hunters , it was just that the males mated with the females and they had kids . Then they stayed home to take care of the kids and the house . They weren 't meant to go out and capture people and put their lives in risk . It just didn 't happen . That was how everyone saw it at least . The women accepted it , but only begrudgingly since no one would side with them on the men 's side . They all agreed that the women would be safer at home . It became an unwritten rule and has been kept to this day . " What 's on your mind , Lucian ? " Sebastian said , scratching his completely bald head and smiling his almost toothless grin . He had lost all his teeth as he grew older . He only had his front two middle ones and his canines . " I need my stuff . I 'm going on a mission and Nicodemus should have sent a message to you to get my stuff ready . " He paced the ground , nervous to be on his way Mateo could be down there any second and he needed to get a move on . " Thanks , " he said , taking a quick glance at the man and ignoring the girl for the time being . His main priority was the man , not the bride . He would get her last . She shouldn 't be that hard to get . Mateo better appreciate this . Lucian was one to be known for his patience and if this girl was as stubborn as Nicodemus had said , this could be an interesting trip . He threw the pictures into his bad and threw it over his back . He leaped into the sky and was in his dragon form in moments . He nodded at Sebastian and took off . As he flew over the castle he could still see Mateo standing on his balcony , staring up at him . It was unnerving and it made Lucian nervous . He wasn 't going to like the welcoming he got when he got back ; of that he was sure . He looked straight ahead and pushed on . He would have to forget about Mateo . He would reconcile with him later . He had a job to do and he was going to do it . " Why can 't I do this ? " Shayla screamed into the empty forest . No one was around , but she felt like everyone knew of her failure . She was a water elemental and so far she had only control of the water in the streams . That meant that she had to see the water in order to control it . She couldn 't draw the water out of the ground , or out of the air . She wasn 't powerful enough yet . She was 45 years old in her people 's age , but only 17 in human years . She should have been pulling water out of the air , making it rain and all kinds of stuff , yet she was barely in control . It had been like this for the past year . She used to be a master at her element , but since that accident , she had lost most control of it . Madeline had said it was because she hit her head , but Shayla was worried she would never get her powers back . She wanted to feel that warmth that flooded her every time she called upon her special powers ; gifts according to some . She wanted to believe Madeline , but she just wasn 't sure she could . Madeline was the lady that had basically adopted Shayla . She was an orphan and needed a place to stay , so Madeline had taken her in . She had already been housing two other kids around her age , but she had still taken her in when she needed a place to go . Madeline had long white hair that was always braided . She has white eyes , having gone blind a long time ago . She was 500 years old , and one of the oldest in their clan . The only one that was older than her was the Leader of the faeries . This brought respect from the people around her and many came to ask her advice on things . Madeline was well loved . The two kids that stayed with Shayla under the care of Madeline were Brittney and Lance . They were brother and sister , though total opposites in personalities . Lance had long brown hair while Brittney had red hair like her element fire . She was a fire elemental and always wanted to battle with Shayla . That was before the accident of course . She hadn 't asked her to battle in a long time . Shayla often wondered if Madeline had commanded her not to . Brittney was exactly Shayla 's age , but Lance was a year older . He was an earth elemental . He helped control the earth . He was what his sister burned . She burned trees and he made trees . They were both very powerful ; as powerful as Shayla used to be . Shayla needed to get her spark back so she could use her powers again . It was killing Shayla to not be able to compete in the tournaments that were hosted every year . That accident was rarely spoken of . It had caused Madeline to go blind , and Shayla 's water power to dry up . Brittney and Lance were out that night , both having gone to hang with some friends . Shayla stayed home to help Madeline because she wasn 't feeling well . The alarm had sounded , letting everyone know that a dragon was approaching . These weren 't dragon shifters , they were real dragons that had no human half and therefore only wanted to kill . Shayla had tried to get Madeline into their safe room , but before they made it , the house was on fire . Shayla tried to use her water power to put it out , but she couldn 't find any water in the dry air . The fire was spreading and already one of the walls had collapsed . Soon the ceiling would be on them . She caught sight of the house next to theirs and saw it was on fire also . Shayla helped Madeline toward the door , trying to escape the fire that was burning her and killing them . Fire was Shayla 's worst enemy because it could dry her out . Shayla needed to get somewhere where there was moisture . She needed water . Shayla was almost to the door when the ceiling collapsed . Shayla had screamed and Madeline and she fell to the ground . The next thing Shayla remembered was waking up in the infirmary that was in the center of their clan . Madeline was in the bed next to her and was barely breathing . The doctor had come in at that moment and saw Shayla awake . She quickly brought Shayla a glass of water and set a bucket of water at her side . She tried to get the water to come and let her body absorb it , but it wouldn 't move . She started panicking . What if she had lost her power completely ? Shayla knew fire would be her downfall . Shayla needed to have her powers . Shayla started crying and all the noise woke Madeline up . She looked over at her and Shayla just cried harder . Madeline was blind now and it was her fault . She should have been able to save her . Shayla should have been able to get some moisture out of her body , or out of the air . Shayla had made Madeline blind and she had lost her powers because of it . Soon her body , being exhausted shut itself down and she drifted off into sleep . That had all happened over a year ago and now she had limited access to her powers . She could still do little things , but that was only if water was present and Shayla could see it . That sucked , but it was gradually growing . Shayla should have all her powers back soon ; at least she hoped . No one blamed Shayla for what happened , but no one spoke of it . Two people had been killed a few houses down . The house that was next to Madeline 's had spread the flame to the house next to it where two kids were sleeping . They didn 't make it out . It was a terrible evening for everyone , especially since they didn 't get a chance to kill the dragon that had caused everyone such pain . Shayla swore that day that she would kill any dragons she met . She wanted so badly to find the dragon that had killed those kids and made her lose her powers and Madeline lose her sight . Though she never complained about it , Shayla knew Madeline hated not having her sight . She felt helpless , but knew that the people were there for her , especially Shayla . The only time Shayla left her side was when she went to the woods to practice . It had been about two months since the last dragon incident . It wasn 't the same dragon as a year ago ; that one had been black . The one that attacked them two months ago was red . The village people hadn 't seen that dragon since that day and they had no clue what had happened to it . It could be dead , but they wouldn 't know . Shayla was walking back the way she had come when she heard the alarm . Shayla heard screams and picked up her speed . One thing she could do was run , and run quickly . Shayla was in the village before the next alarm bell went off . They went off every thirty seconds until the danger passed . She was about a fourth of a mile away and had run that quickly . It was impressive , even for Shayla . Shayla looked up into the air and her heart seemed to stop . A black dragon was trying to land but her people were doing their very best to stop it . It was growing angry and Shayla could see its red eyes looking around . When its eyes flickered over to her for a moment , Shayla glared and willed her power to come back . She wanted to teach this dragon a lesson . Shayla turned to find some water , but the closest water was directly below the dragon in the small pond . She took off running toward it . " Shayla ! " She heard Brittney scream and heard someone running after her . At the sound of Shayla 's name , the dragon turned toward her once more and his eyes seemed to glow even redder . Shayla stopped dead in her tracks . She was about ten feet from the dragon and he was now on the ground . The earth elementals were throwing rocks and boulders at him with all they had , but they just bounced off his hard scales and spiky back . He moved his tail and Shayla saw he was a club - tailed dragon . He was dangerous . Shayla felt someone grab her arm and turned to find Brittney standing on one side of her and Lance grabbed her hand on the other side . They both stood there for a moment before turning to Shayla . They stared at her and then back at the dragon . Finally Brittney broke the silence that was lapsing between them . " What were you thinking ? " Brittney snapped , dragging her backwards . The dragon didn 't seem to like that and kept approaching them . Shayla was now scared for her life . This dragon could kill them . The dragon opened its mouth and they all braced themselves . It was about to blow fire and no one knew where it was going . Instead of it blowing fire at one of the houses , it blew fire into the sky , lighting up the sky . Shayla screamed as some of the heat from the flames hit her . Brittney was absorbing the heat while Lance and Shayla were trying to get away from it . Sensing her brothers and friend 's need to get away from the heat , Brittney made the heat disappear by pulling it into her body and absorbing it . It made her stronger and she threw a fire ball at the dragon 's exposed throat . The dragon coughed and then roared it 's fury . It turned on Brittney and breathed fire straight at her . Shayla screamed and watched in horror as the flames surrounded Brittney . " Brittney , no ! " Lance screamed . That was his sister in there . He motioned with his hands and soon a huge clump of dirt stood in front of Shayla . It continued to grow bigger until it blocked her sight of the dragon . Then the dirt clump , now as hard as a rock and as big as a wheel was flying through the air and hit the dragon right in the mouth , stopping his flow of fire . The dragon 's eyes seemed to water and then he was spitting out dirt . Shayla looked for her friend and found her lying on the ground . The heat had been to much for her body and she had passed out . Luckily there were no burns on her skin . Shayla ran to her side and knelt on the ground . She picked her friends head up and pulled some water out of the pond , cleaned it , and slid it past Brittney 's parched lips and into her mouth . Brittney did the rest by swallowing it . Shayla did this until her friend opened her eyes . They both looked back up at the dragon to see him standing right in front of them . Shayla , tired of everyone getting hurt , stood up and put her arms out , making herself look like a cross . She stared at the dragon and shouted , " Take me ! " 11th July 2011 - Okay , so I 've read through the story and I think that the plot is there which is always great . There are a few things you could bare in mind when you write including sticking with one tense within a sentence and the use of colloquialisms to describe things . Remember your plot is a really good one ! Stick with it and I 'm sure you 'll get the feedback that you want . If there 's anyone out there that knows how to write a summary let us know . Personally I 'm rather terrible at writing summaries ! Share this : TwitterGoogleFacebookRedditLike this : Like Loading . . . 4 responses to " Writer 's Clinic " Hayley Cyrus 05 / 07 / 2011 at 9 : 09 pm Hey Jennifer I sent you part of my story ! ! I was wondering how to get more feedback 🙂 thanks for doing this ! ! Reply Alicia Ballinas Aguilar 07 / 07 / 2011 at 3 : 23 am Hey Jenny ! I sent you a part of my story ! I just recently written it and I don 't know how to continue it . Also I don 't know if I should post this on fictionpress , fearing that no one will read it . Can you please read it and give me your advice ? Thank you and have a great day ! Reply jennyt82 11 / 07 / 2011 at 6 : 59 pm I like the story . Personally I 'd really like to read more so the plot is there . Have you got any more written ? @ kirstinmarsh I 'm working on my next book but it 's taking longer than I 'd like . Here 's hoping that it goes down well . 1 year ago