Posted on January 12 , 2015 by Ella North And so here we have it ; another year spent single went by . So so many dates have come and gone I can 't even keep track . None of them have stuck . Well , for the long run that is . I 've met a few men that rocked my world for a little while , but nothing lasted . There 's been quite a few fellow bloggers that got engaged or even married , and in real life people are finding their soul mates left and right . Dating has never been easier with apps like Tinder , and yet , after a year of full on dating , I haven 't managed to find someone . As I told someone else earlier this week ; I am the only constant . There were men that were into me , I believe that I could have been settled by now and yet , I refuse anything less than a hundred percent . Maybe by the end of this year I 'll look at it differently , maybe I 'm looking in the wrong places . As for the regular updates ; I went on a second date with the guy I saw the day before New Year 's Eve . When I texted him to ask if he was interested , he jumped on it and wanted to see me the next day . That wasn 't gonna happen , so we settled on Sunday . After a lot of back and forth , I went to his place . I had proposed drinks , but all of a sudden he wanted a day date , wanted to come to my town but after I told him there 's nothing here on a Sunday , he said he had to be back home by nine anyway , and he just wanted to spend an afternoon cocooning . Alright then . I decided to go to his instead , for some reason I did not want him in my house yet . So off I went through the storm . When I got to his place he greeted me with a kiss , made me tea and made small talk . Like last time , he was very calm and quiet . I was a little disappointed , I 'd hoped he 'd be a bit more alive . We hung around on the couch for a bit , made out and he quickly wanted to move things to the bedroom . Literally within twenty minutes of me getting there . While I 'm happy to report the sex was a bit better , he still didn 't last very long . We got naked pretty quickly , and before I 'd even touched him he provided me with an orgasm with his fingers . I could tell he was ready to go but I wasn 't gonna have another super speedy session . But when I went down on him , I literally bobbed up and down twice , maybe thrice before he told me to stop or he would come . I obliged , stalled him a little longer , but then he made an attempt to go for it without condom . That wasn 't happening . He got the message , found one , and did me in missionary until he came , which didn 't take very long and happened in silence . It wasn 't weird , or particularly bad , but I like my men a bit more active , a little less vanilla and to last a bit longer . I don 't know if he takes a long time getting used to someone , or if this is as good as it gets . He went to prepare dinner , and I took a long time dressing . I wasn 't quite sure how I felt . Yes I knew what he 'd wanted , but it was the first time I didn 't really feel good about it . Was this really what I wanted ? When I got myself together he was cooking , and I finished my tea , which was ( mind you ) still warm . Lukewarm , but still . He didn 't say much . I didn 't say much . It wasn 't terribly awkward , it was more a calm , serene thing and he might be the type that doesn 't mind sharing his personal space . It was like we 'd been married for ten years . And so we had dinner , I helped him pick up a lamp for his bedroom , and he wanted to watch a movie , some action flick I wasn 't really interested in , but okay . I wondered if I should leave . I didn 't . I waited until the end . We had a glass of wine , and he still wasn 't very talkative . I 've never had such a weird date . He 's attractive , has his shit together , I 'm sure he 's got plenty stuff to talk about , but whenever we talked , his answers weren 't very elaborate , and not getting anything in return , you kind of give up . I finished my wine and told him I was gonna go . He saw me out with a kiss , and I left pretty abruptly . On my way home I couldn 't help myself but text him I hoped for his travel buddies he was gonna be a bit more talkative , or if he reserved that just for me . He texted back the next day saying sorry , he had been tired , and had had a really good time . Really ? doesn 't take a lot more than sex I guess . He 's gone on a skiing trip now , and I hope he gets over that fatigue of him . Weird shit . On New Year 's eve , I went clubbing with a few girlfriends . Nothing interesting there , but I did receive a few texts from the poker player . During the day where he wanted to say happy new year and we had a little catch up , and then he texted me in the middle of the night , calling me hot stuff and all . Kinda made my night , how pathetic . Also , Couch guy asked to go on a second date . I told him I 'd be busy for a few weeks and would have to let him know . Really don 't know about him , and I 'd say I 've had my fair share of weirdness . I 've got a few more dates lined up this week and so help me God I am telling myself sex is not an option . Though , the fact I closed and started the year sex wise with the same guy , should hopefully be a good omen . Or something . Posted on September 17 , 2014 by Ella North After the aborted mission of last week with the ex , I came home feeling a bit down . The ' what if I had gone through with it ' kept lurking in the back of my mind . At the same time , I knew I was happier with that feeling than the irreversible regret of doing I wasn 't one hundred percent happy about . We texted back and forth for a bit , and he mentioned he had a girl flying over from Switzerland the weekend , and another from England to come see him the weekend after that . Right . By then I was a little fed up with the whole thing . I asked him if he had given them fair warning he would not engage in oral sex , but that he needed his dick sucked in return . He kind of laughed it off and then threw in that he just didn 't feel that way with me . Say whut ? Was there anything I needed to know ? No , he just didn 't feel like it . The honest truth , I was upset with his lack of respect and let the whole thing escalate . I told him I felt it was better to cut all ties . He said he didn 't understand where that came from , but oh well . Oh well . If I needed more reassurance , there I had it . I wished him good luck with all his whores , and that was the end of that . On the upside , the Tinder sex date kept messaging me . He asked to see me again and then settled on a weekday last week , which he had to cancel because he didn 't feel well . I was bummed . And horny . He immediately wanted to set up a new date , and said he was afraid I found him too much trouble and call the whole thing off . Guess he picked up on the ' I - ain 't - taking - no - shit ' attitude . And so we rescheduled for last Saturday . As I had to be in his town anyway , he was quick to offer me a place to stay , and even came to pick me up from where I was to go back to his house . While walking ( in heels , ugh ! ) he mentioned that he knows someone at my company , and that he 's told this person that he 's dating me . I wouldn 't call what we 're doing dating , but anyway . He 's got a tiny but super clean apartment , made me a drink , showed me a few videos of the festival he went to , and then jumped on me . Super easy . He 's a great kisser , and loves it too , if only he didn 't nearly rip out my nose ring while going at it , but oh well . We moved into his bedroom , and quickly got naked . His oral skills hadn 't improved greatly , but with a few subtle pointers , I quite enjoyed it . Again , I had to do some work to get him hard , but he got there . He threw me around a bit , I got a few good swats on my ass ( yay ! ) and then he told me to sit on his face while I sucked him . No need to tell me twice . I don 't know what he did , but his fingers and mouth where everywhere . He had remembered my comment about ass play , and when he worked my ass while licking me , I came so hard I lost the plot for a bit . I don 't remember getting such a fantastic orgasm since the Musician . He asked if I was ready to fuck . Hell yeah . He was kind of sweet about it , he seems to want to make sure all the time I am okay with what 's going on . The shitty thing was that he lost his hard on after only a minute or so . I don 't know if it had been taking too long ( a good two hours ) or if it was the condom , though he didn 't say anything . Eventually he finished Also , I am meeting the Stud on Saturday . I had told him straight up his message about his butterflies for a forty year old with a kid didn 't hit me as well as I had anticipated , even though I had had my doubts about him for a while . I actually hadn 't contacted him for a good two weeks , thinking that if he wanted to see me , he could make the effort . I told him since that sleepovers were no longer an option , he should come to my town since I was a little tired of the traveling back and forth . So , I 'll see how that goes , the likely scenario is that he 'll kind of forget to talk about what we 're supposed to ( even though he even suggested it ) and then I am too chicken to bring it up and wait until the last minute . I am kind of determined to not let that happen ; he wanted to talk , so let 's talk . I 've got some preparing to do . Like figuring out what the point is . Finally , I have a Tinder date set up for Sunday . A normal date . I 've been talking to this guy for a couple nights in a row , and he sounds pretty awesome . He 's got a man bun , works for a web designing agency , rides a motorcycle and plays the guitar . He seems to have stuff to talk about and doesn 't seem shy about the whole thing . So we 're going for drinks on Sunday afternoon , and dinner if we 're having a good time . I deserve a good date , for crying out loud . Posted on August 26 , 2014 by Ella North My Tinder sexdate from last Saturday happened ! Up until an hour before , he was still texting me , and I could tell he was anxious . I told him we 'd go for a drink , and if either of us didn 't like it , there was still plenty of time for him to get home . I was getting a little irritated myself , but when he got on the train , I went to pick him up . When I arrived at the train station , he was already there , and relieved to see me , as he 'd been worried the bag - lady at the door was me . We went to a bar and while I could tell me was a little nervous , it was fine . He was a talker and I think he 's just naturally a nervous person . He looked like his photos , though he was a little shorter than me and maybe he looked a tad older than his thirty three . We had a few drinks , and when they cranked up the music , he wanted to leave . He paid ( ! ) for the drinks , and off we went to my place . Had another drink , and thankfully he didn 't wait too long before making his move . After making out for a while he said he was glad I was a good kisser . Great . Off to the bedroom . We quickly undressed each other , and after he pushed me down on the bed , he immediately went down on me . I remember the times when you wouldn 't do oral on one night stands , but I ain 't complaining . Unfortunately he didn 't excel , and so when I got bored I flipped him on his back , and it was then I realized he still had his briefs on . Even more , when I took them off , he wasn 't hard . Oh boy . My efforts by hand only got him half hard and he then told me to not worry , sometimes it took a while . Okay . I switched it to a sixty nine , and while he licked me , he put a finger up my ass . I came right then and there . I love ass play and loved that he 'd picked up on it somehow . In the meantime , he had gotten very hard , and I could taste the pre - cum . Time to stop . I got him a condom , and he fucked me in missionary . He fell asleep quite quickly afterwards , and even though he 'd told me he was a spooner , I don 't think he touched me all night . In the morning , after a bad night 's sleep for me , I wanted him to go . He wasn 't into morning sex , which is fine , but then I want you out the door by nine . He did not . He took forever getting up , wanted to talk about the sex , and finally got up at ten thirty for a shower after I 'd told him to a few times . He was gone by eleven . All in all , definitely a good experience , no different than picking someone up at a bar , and I 'd do it again . He texted me that night he 'd had a good time and good sex , so I guess it worked for him too . Then , the guy I had a date with on Friday night has been in touch as well . I say in touch , but really it 's been me . I am the one to initiate messaging , and even though he responds super quickly and enthusiastically at that , I don 't think I 'll message him again . If he wants to see me again he 'll have to make some effort , and if not , that 's fine . I 'm not gonna chase after him . The Stud texted me last night to ask how my weekend was . I told him I 'd had a date and a sleepover , which is his euphemism for sex . If he tells me about his little adventures , why wouldn 't I ? And then I didn 't hear from him for a day . When I texted him this evening to ask what was up with that , he sent me a bunch of messages about himself . Not one question about my being sick ( which he knew ) and what not . And then he said he would be a little busy for the next couple weeks when I asked about meeting up . Call me suspicious , but in my mind , that 's an excuse for ' I don 't really want to . ' And then he told me he had finished the business case for the sponsoring thing , and just needed to translate it . Well well . I feel like I am being used . So the plan is to wait for the case , respond to it professionally but inconclusive , and then wait for him to come up with a meet - up plan that is worthy of my looking at his business case . And if he doesn 't in the very near future he will get a piece of my mind . I am very close to being done with him if won 't make some serious effort soon , and I am done chasing all these men . I 'm over it . I 'm tired . I deserve better . Posted on August 23 , 2014 by Ella North I fell off the blogging train ! It 's taken me forever to write , and I wish I could say I have had a million dates or found Mr . Right in the meantime , but none of that unfortunately . I have been busy , July has seen a heatwave , an airplane fell out of the sky , my sister has moved to another country , and I 've got a work trip to China coming up . ( yay ) Let 's start at the beginning . The Stud . Yup , still in the picture . I even saw him two weekends in a row . Last month , he asked if I wanted to come to a festival in his town . It 's a traveling festival of small theaters that promote their new season by putting on thirty minute shows for cheap . So there 's a bunch of theater tents , food and wine out in the open . It 's awesome . And because he had worked on two of those festivals in other cities ( because he works for a theater ) he got us free entrance , food and shows . Sweet deal . So I went to see him on a hot Friday afternoon , wearing a hippie dress , determined to make up for the non sex last time . So we wandered around and saw a few shows . He asked me what I thought of two , which put me on the spot a little bit since he knows theater and I don 't , but I think I managed . When we went to get dinner the conversation drifted to dating once again and he mentioned how he still didn 't understand how he managed to ' get ' me . I decided to bite the bullet and tell him a little bit about how hard it is for me to talk about feelings , and how I take things as disinterest when I don 't feel someone is engaged . I told him how I hadn 't felt like our first date and that I had been pleasantly surprised afterwards , which made him a bit shy . By the end of the night , we 'd drank three bottles of wine between us , but were not feeling buzzed . We went to see another show , and called it a night at around one in the morning . Back at his house , we had another glass of wine but both of us had trouble getting it down , and we were pretty tired . So , off to bed . We get right to it , and I have to say , while the sex itself is good , it 's kind of the same every time . He fingers me or eats me out , I do the same for him , he gets on top , and then we switch until he comes . Perfectly fine , but I feel like it should be more adventurous , especially considering his background . Then , when he rolls off the condom , he asks if it 's possible I 'm bleeding . No . Fuck . We examine ourselves and the cThe weekend after , when he comes back from a kid 's birthday party at his friends , he asks if I feel like coming over and watch a movie . The weather is shit , and couch potatoe - ing together sounds pretty good . I pick out a movie which turns out the be boring , and we both have troubles making it to the end , so instead we just make out . When we get into bed , he quickly puts me where he wants me and goes down on me like he hasn 't before . It 's awesome , and he 's so into it , I come fairly quickly . It 's made him super hard as well , and I happily suck him off . I guess I 'm one of those few that actually likes giving head , especially when my efforts are being appreciated . When he tells me to stop so he can put on a condom , I ignore him , and just keep going . I don 't want to be dealing with blood this time around . He warns me he 's coming , but I still don 't stop and take it all in . He 's pleasantly surprised with my change of plans , and I just smile . The next morning is lazy , but when he comes out of the bathroom with a hard on , I practically jump on him . I 'm not satisfied yet , and want a proper fuck . He gets the message , starts licking me quite roughly and isn 't afraid to use his teeth . And then before he can get back into his own routine , I maneuver myself on all fours in front of him , and he gets the message . He went to town . It was awesome . And then last week , he texts me saying that he has a cheeky question . How would my company feel about sponsoring his sports team on their way to a world cup in twenty fifteen ? I was so disappointed he asked that . I hate feeling like people use me for that kind of stuff . And it 's worse when friends ask . I have given him stuff before , but from my wanting to . I guess now he felt like it was worth a shot . To me , it meant he hadn 't listened to me at all when I had told him all that during dinner . I took a day , and then turned the situation around . I 'd put him to work and let him work out a business case . I won 't do anything with it . But in return I can now ask him for stuff . Like the use of his city apartment when he 's not there and I want to go partying . Then yesterday , I had a date . It 's through a new website that 's a little pretentious . You have to get invited , and then get accepted by people that judge your photos . But I made it . I got to talk with a cute guy , and chatted with him two nights straight . We then switched to text messaging , and on Thursday he asked if I wanted to go for drinks . I did . I was quite excited to meet him , conversation was super easy , we have a colleague in common , and he seemed to be super relaxed . He did admit he was a bit shy , which made me a little anxious of having to lead the date ( hate that ) but he wasn 't at all . As soon as we met we hit it off , and pretty much talked until I had to get back on the train . He took me to two real nice places , and then dropped me off at the train station . This morning he texted me his ice bucket challenge . I would definitely go on a second date with him , though I didn 't think there were any sparks or anything . And tonight I am supposed to have a Tinder sexdate . Yay ! He should be here in a couple hours , though I half expect him to cancel still , or to not go through with it on the spot . He has a big mouth , but he comes off a bit immature and needy . He fires random questions at me ( are you spiritual ? ) and admits he 's a little nervous , though he 'd been bragging about going home with every single date he 's been on . And he was a pain in trying to set this up . He wanted me to come to his place , which is fine , but then went into a lengthy discussion about where we should go because he doesn 't live downtown . Maybe we could meet at the train station so that we could see if it was gonna work . Hell no . I am not coming to be looked at and then then turned down within 5 minutes and then having to go back . I told him he was a pain , and I think he realized he might not get laid this weekend , because now he 's coming to my town . We 'll have a drink and see how it goes . I am giving him the benefit of the doubt because he 's so hot , and I hope my gut feeling is wrong on this one ! Posted on June 15 , 2014 by Ella North Leading up to my supposed date with the Stud last night , he had been a little standoffish when trying to nail down a time . On Friday , I asked him what the plan would be . He said it was up to me . I asked if he still wanted to come to my town . He said it didn 't matter to him . I asked if he wanted to do dinner , drinks , or both . He said he was a little tight in finances . I told him not to worry , and he said ' okido . ' No one ever says that word . Something felt off , and I was getting a little anxious . Then last night by seven , I had still not heard from him . I was frustrated , and even more when he said he wouldn 't get here before nine when I texted him . I felt like I was being squeezed in . I ended up having to rush getting dressed and all , but was pretty happy with the result . I went to pick him up from the train station , and he was perfectly happy and good looking as usual . We quickly made our way to a bar and talked as if we hadn 't seen each other in years . My strategy for the night was to not remind him of any trains going home . I was just going to let time pass , not say anything and if he 'd missed his train , oh how unfortunate . He told me he had come from his family who had grilled him when he 'd told them he was coming here . What 's there ? Well , Ella . Who 's Ella ? Are you staying the night ? I guess I am taking it as a positive thing his family knows about me now , though I don 't know what he 's told them . We once again touched the subject of dating when he said that after his weekend of sailing two weeks ago , he had visited the one other girl he was still in touch with besides me . She lives on the other side of the country and since he had to be there , he took the opportunity to go see her , and also mentioned he spent the night . My mind raced a little at this point . The odds of course say that he slept with her . I didn 't know how I felt about that . Well , I did . Why her , and not me ? I had looked her up before . He 'd mentioned her name a few times , and she 's on his Facebook list . She is the polar opposite of me . Black hair , tan skin , perfect make - up , and curvy . I didn 't ask him what he wanted from her or me . I wasn 't sure if I wanted to hear the answer . By the time he pulled out his phone to look at the time , it was one o ' clock , and quite a few more drinks later . He said he didn 't know if he was going to get home . I told him to stay with me , to which I got a yay . Must have been his plan already . We had a last drink , and headed home . He was a little more touchy - feely than I know him to be ( or maybe , once again I am reading too much into this ) but since he had mentioned his other friend and I was all too aware of his resistance to casual sex and commitment , did not think anything of it . Just in case I got the signals wrong , I didn 't want to embarrass myself or him either . Back at mine we have a last drink before we head to the bedroom . He used my toothbrush , saying his mouth has been at weirder places on me with a grin , and we unceremoniously get changed for bed . He had mentioned his sore back a few times , and I 'd seen him wiggle around during the night . I offer to massage and try to loosen him up a bit , and he happily accepts . I stop before he falls asleep , and lie back down . We talk for a bit , with him stroking my arm , and then he mentions that it 's been a while since we 've shared a bed . Yes , two and a half months to be exact . At this point , call me oblivious , I am still think we 're being perfectly platonic . He doesn 't want me like that after all . While I had hoped he 'd come back home with me , I had not thought sex was in the cards , I would have been perfectly satisfied to have just spent more time with him . But when I switch off the bedside light , he doesn 't hesitate . We make out for a long time while our hands just roam around as if it were all new . Because of his back I end up doing most of the heavy lifting , but he manages to make me come twice with his fingers . I suck him until he 's hard , scramble around for a condom and get to work . We closed my windows because of the neighbors and my squeaky bed , and it 's warm in the room . We 're both sweating , and the sheets are clammy . I love it . Means the sex is dirty . He doesn 't come though , and even after we switch around , he admits that it 's not happening . Oh well . Beers , pressure , busy day , who knows . He wraps his arms and legs around me , and we both fall asleep pretty quickly . It 's four thirty . I wake up a few times , gently shove him once to make him stop snoring , and we both lazily whisper good mornings by nine o ' clock . We drift in and out of sleep for the next hour , and I wake up again when his fingers draw up and down my back . After a while , he moves on top of me , and we lazily make out . I love being squished . Eventually he sucks and bites his way down , and spends a glorious amount of time eating me out . After I come he doesn 't stop , and my legs are shaky when a second orgasm hits . We switch , and I do the same for him . He plays with my hair while he moans and groans , and I can 't help but smile a little . It turns me on . He doesn 't warn me when he comes , but I can feel it , and take it all . I find out he doesn 't care about tasting himself , and we happily kiss and hug while coming down from the high . We get up at around eleven thirty , take turns in the shower , and have breakfast . It 's comfortable . I take him to the train station to go home an hour later , and we say our goodbyes . That was definitely more than I bargained for , in the best way possible . As corny as it sounds , it was perfect . Everything worked , and it was one of those nights where there 's just a connection and you want human contact . When he 's gone , I go through my usual hour or two of feeling conflicted and sad , and call my friend . We did not talk about the current situation . I do not think this night changed anything for him . It was a natural progression and we both wanted it . It just worked out that way . I don 't know if he likes me that way . Yes , he likes me as a person and thinks I 'm hot , but I don 't think he has changed his mind about his situation . It confuses me at some point . He tells me one thing but his actions say another . If casual sex makes him unhappy , as he has mentioned , then why did he do this ? Where does this other woman stand ? I think one of the reasons he has stayed in touch with me ( apart from regular liking me ) is the fact I have not been nagging him about the whole thing . I 'm not sure if we should even talk about last night . I shouldn 't even been thinking about it so much , because I should be clear on the situation . But well , I 'm a girl . Though I do think , should this happen again , maybe it is time for the both of us to re - evaluate . I will see him again , he 's said so , so we 'll have to see how that goes . I know I cannot do this forever . I can do the casual sex thing if I am not into someone , but I am into him , and he must know that somewhere inside . Posted on March 16 , 2014 by Ella North On Wednesday night , a couple days after my second date with the bisexual man ( who I will now call Stud as it sounds much better ) he sent me a text late at night asking if he could call me . Sure , I replied , wondering what he could possibly want to talk about . He calls , and says he wants to hear a familiar voice . He is at his father 's house , trying to clean it out . His dad has Alzheimers , and he took the ungrateful job of sorting through his things to see what 's staying and what 's going . He feels alone and a bit sad , understandable . We talk for a while until he feels better , he goes to take a bath , I go back to bed . I did wonder if he had no one else to talk to , seeing as we 'd only been on two dates , but at the same time I consider it a good sign . We exchange only a few texts during the week ( he 's not much of a texter ) and when on Saturday evening I ask him if he 's gone home or still at his dad 's house , he says he 's still there , and I am more than welcome to come . He throws in a bath , and a ride to my workshop in his city in the morning . Even though it 's an hour away , I accept after making sure he 's not joking . He warns me it 'll be like camping , but hey , nothing I don 't know . So I jump on a train , tell him I 'll be there at 9 , and he comes to pick me up from the train station . At his dad 's house , he gives me a tour and I start to understand what he 's doing . There 's boxes and boxes of stuff everywhere . Countless binders with paperwork . I wonder if it 's uncomfortable that I 'm at his father 's house , but he 's not , so I let it go . He gets drinks , we talk as usual , and somehow ending up playing monopoly on the floor in between the boxes . He 's very touchy - feely this time . I make an idiot of myself by constantly forgetting the rules , and hope he doesn 't think I 'm stupid . We play for about an hour , and then call it quits to take a bath . He very cutely pours quarter of a bottle of oil in , lights candles , and we jump in . Neither of us have a bath at home , so we take full advantage and hang out until the water gets cold . Thank God there 's a bed , and we quickly put a sheet on it , and zip two sleeping bags together . Unlike last time , we get right down to business , though we take it a lot slower . The bath made us lazy ! We make out for a while , until I climb on top of him . I suck on his balls and dick and listen to him moan . And then he pulls me up by my hair , kisses me hard , and holds me down . Yay . He bites his way down , and I enjoy looking at him in between my legs , and his shoulders working . He spends good time eating me out , but does it very slowly . I give into it and after a while come quietly , very civilized , yet he knows . I take his dick in my hands , and work it until I decide it 's time to fuck . I sit myself down on him , and manage to find a perfect angle . We go at it fast and hard , I make myself come another time , and he quickly comes with his signature three hard thrusts and moans . There 's just something I love about watching and hearing men come , and he 's very satisfactory . After a quick clean up , we get back into bed . I tell him he 's hot , and find out he 's bad at taking compliments . We have another lazy make out session , and then decide to go to sleep . The alarm will go off in a few hours , he has to go rowing , and I have 3 hours of yoga to do the next day . I 'm happy he doesn 't snore as bad as last time , and manage to actually get a good night sleep . When we wake up , I 'm ready to go at it again , but we don 't have any more condoms , and he 's worried of being late . So he gets up to do some last cleaning and get his stuff together , and I take a shower . It 's a quiet morning , but not of the awkward kind . After an hour we close the door and drive back to his city . We get there a lot faster than planned . He parks the car , and we load up his bike with our bags . He rides home with me on the back , and even have time for a cup of coffee at his place . Since he has to be in the boat at 11 : 30 and my workshop doesn 't start until one , he tells me to stay behind if I want . I can hang out and just close the door behind me ? Awesome . I even feel a little flattered . He leaves after a kiss , and I look around . Where to snoop first ? No , joking . I didn 't . I did open up his medicine cabinet to see what was there ( nothing interesting ) went to see what was on the floor beside his bed ( a book and condoms ) and had a good look at his bookcase . We actually read a lot of the same stuff . His passport was also sitting there , and I did look at that . I found out that when the passport was issued , 3 years ago , he was still married . I already knew that . He 's been married to a man for 6 years , and they were together for 13 years . Intimidating . They split up 2 years ago , very amicably , and their divorce isn 't even final yet . Neither of them want to screw the other over , and apparently , that takes time . Oh well . It 's not a shock , and I 'm not bothered . I sit around for a while , have another drink , and then leave for class . I send him a text to say thanks for using his apartment . After class , late in the afternoon I have a text from him asking how it was , and we go back and forth for a bit . He says he 's gonna go our for a walk since the sun is out . I say I am going for a green shot with two classmates and will wave if I see him walk down the street . I don 't think much of it , but sure enough , half an hour later , there he is . In jeans , shirt and sunglasses . Looking very hot . We spot each other at the same time and I am immediately a little on edge . I 'm still sweaty , I 'm pretty sure my make up is smudged , and my hair is in a frizzy ponytail . We say hello with a kiss , he says hi to my two friends , tries my green shot , talks some more , and then leaves with another kiss to go get ice cream . My two male friends stare me down . Who was he ? I tell them we 've been on a few dates and that 's it . They agree that he is smoking . On the train home , he texts , so hopefully that means he 's not put off by my not so charming post - yoga look . I feel really comfortable around him , but yet I am unsure of what to do all the time . I have the feeling he 's not necessarily looking for something serious . Which is fine , but I need to tell myself to not expect anything or be too forward about meeting up . I also think he is not into me romantically , but does not like being alone at this point in his life and is comfortable with me . We get along really well , are both super comfortable , and the sex is good . I also know that he is insecure , and might struggle with the same thoughts I struggle with . Tricky thing is that I go on holiday for almost a month in two weeks , and I am nervous he will meet someone else . I 'm pretty sure he still goes on dates , which I am fine with , but I don 't want him to meet anyone he 'll be more into that me . Fair chance though , 3 , 5 weeks is a long time , he won 't wait for me , so hopefully he 'll still be there when I come back . So I have two weeks before I leave , of which 3 trips to Germany , and my period is due on my last weekend home next weekend . Awesome . I gotta figure that one out . As you might remember , I went on a date with a guy I met on Tinder last Tuesday . Yeah , the bisexual . I was still as excited about it as I was earlier in the week , and when he suggested dinner , I was pleasantly surprised . I haven 't been on a dinner date in a while , usually it 's just drinks . He had asked if I had any day plans , but I 'd told him yes as that would have been an exceptionally long date considering this was the one where I 'd probably stay over . So we agreed on meeting at 7 at a cool burger and wine bar . I probably was a little nervous as I always wonder if they 're going to be as attractive as I remember , but as soon as I walked in and saw him waiting at the bar , I was at ease . He was exactly the same . Seriously hot . We had to wait for our table and had no issues talking , like last time . I warned him that I had gotten two wisdom teeth removed surgically earlier in the week , so I had an excuse if I wasn 't holding my liquor very well , and also for chewing on the one side mostly . Charming , no ? Well , he sympathized . Eventually we got to our table , and sat there for nearly three hours while we ate , talked , I made a mess of myself , he admitted hamburgers was probably not the best idea for a date and we drank . When the bill came , he straight up said he 'd loved to pay , but wasn 't able to financially , and hoped I didn 't mind splitting . Fair enough , I can appreciate that . Off we went to a bar for another drink , but I was starting to wonder if I had been misreading things . As lovely as his company was , he wasn 't flirty , or touchy - feely at all . Not one bit . We had one drink at the bar , where he ran into some colleagues , and eventually suggested we go back to his place for a last one . Seeing as it was past midnight , and I did have work the next morning , I readily agreed . He lives in a small apartment , right in the middle of the city , could not get any better location wise , and I figured that 'd come in handy in the morning when I 'd have to run for my train home . He had a beer and I switched to water , being a little nervous my stitches would dissolve with all the alcohol or something . We sat and chatted and I was really starting to second guess myself . This could become awkward real quick . He would inch closer every now and then , but not enough to convince me to go for it . At 1 : 30 in the morning I told him it was time to go to sleep . I was confused at this point . If anything were to happen my night was going to be short and shorter , but he was impossible to read . So instead of making out and falling onto the bed , we just stripped down and got in . It took him another half hour or so , but finally , I think he had scraped together enough courage to give it a try . He was way too hot to be that hesitant . I gotta say , it was worth the wait ; the sex was hot ! If I had any worries he wouldn 't know what to do with a woman , they vanished quickly . He 's a biter ( love it ! ) completely went to town on me , and enjoyed it , too . As did I . Not only was he hot with his clothes on , when the clothes came off he still was . And , it had been a while since someone has been able to make me come with just their fingers . He took care of me , and I returned the favor , but wanted a dick inside me , so rode him there . Glad I did , because I have never seen a guy fill up a condom as much as he did . By the time we went to sleep , it was well past three . He got a firm hold of me , and started snoring away . Every now and then I had to give him a push to make him stop so I could fall asleep , and I think I probably got about 2 , 5 hours before my alarm went off . It didn 't wake him up , so I slid out of the bed , and quickly dressed . By the time I was done , he was still sleeping . I stressed for a few minutes . I absolutely hate it when they don 't wake up ( or worse , pretend not to ) and you don 't know what to do . Eventually I figured that since this was a second date , I 'd wake him . He , of course , was totally fine , and I left . It was weird to me that someone so attractive was apparently not confident enough to take the lead and secondly ; that a guy like that was into me . I guess we both had our insecurities . But today we 've been exchanging texts and expressed that we 've had a good time and would like to see each other again , so hopefully soon !