Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of a homeless person ? Why they are the way they are ? The forgotten society makes little splash in the media unless they either do something newsworthy , or are the victims of some grievous crime . The guy sleeping on a sidewalk , whom everybody thinks is a passed out drunk ; the person sitting in the park mumbling to himself : who are they really ? I wondered as well about those people who have no support , or don 't want any support and why . So I wrote this as a short story to remember them and what I think goes thorough some of their minds . They number in the hundreds of thousands , and we can 't ignore them . But what can we really do to help them ? It 's a question society needs to answer as a whole . The man woke earlier than usual and knew something was different . He was totally aware of his surroundings , and though he could not define the difference he felt , he knew it was there . He tried to pull it out of his subconscious mind into his conscious , but couldn 't . They told him it didn 't matter , but he knew instinctively it did . As he lay on his mattress , he listened carefully to the outside environment and heard the usual clatter : a siren in the distance , a dog barking , the screech of brakes and a horn honking , but no voices . He rarely heard voices ; where he lived other humans had avoided for years . He slowly lifted the blanket he always covered his head with when he slept and saw it was starting to get light out . He looked around at his surroundings . He noticed nothing amiss , nothing out of place . All four walls intact ; his collection of paperback books still carefully stacked no more than three high . His three exits , each secured and unseen by the outside world . They told him that was as he would find it . But he knew deep down something had changed . He knew deep down they were wrong this time . But no matter how hard he tried , that something alluded him . He remembered back many years ago when a man or a woman told him they were not real . Unless he recognized it , they would take over his life . He knew they were not real , but he still listened and conversed with them . He did not know who they were , or even if they were ghosts of his past , but still he listened and conversed . He accepted the situation because that was the way it was , and it kept him safe . When he found this place many years ago , they told him he must enclose himself in a quiet atmosphere . So much so internal noise must be forbidden , and he complied . Nothing in his space was allowed that made sounds . He 'd carpeted the floor with layers of foam and soft cloth , and had tried many kinds of shoes until he found a pair that allowed him to walk without hearing anything . He was good at finding things people threw away . He knew enough to allow a free exchange of air so he wouldn 't die from carbon monoxide poisoning , but didn 't know how he knew . Outside sounds were allowed because they could warn him of impending danger . He vaguely remembered a time when some people used the area downstairs one night . He sat quietly in fear of them finding him , but they never did , nor did they ever come back . His memory was sporadic at best . Sometimes he could see himself sitting in a large chair , with two small children bouncing and laughing on his knees . Sometimes he saw a beautiful woman leaning over him and saying something he couldn 't hear . He sometimes remembered times when noise was good , and he was surrounded by it . But now he avoided it , and didn 't know why , except they told him to . His world was set : he woke up at the same time , although he didn 't know what time ; he just knew it was always the same . He left , never using the same exit two days in a row , and did his daily business in another abandoned building close by . It still had running water . He would then make his way to his usual route , collecting food a few of the merchants always left for him . He never spoke to or thanked them , and they didn 't seem to mind ; it was as it was , and he didn 't question it . He walked the same streets and avoided people whenever he saw them , which wasn 't often . Once and awhile a police car would stop and the policeman would ask if he was doing okay . He would always nod yes , and move on . He remembered one time when a policeman started questioning him , his partner stopped him and they left . That bothered him , but they said not to worry ; he 'd done just fine . On this different day , he waited until he thought it was time and left to do his business . He looked carefully at the outside world , looking for that difference , but noticed nothing . After finishing up at the other building , he started his routine , and all went well . He was happy the merchants left him food , and made him think he was wrong about it being different that day . He walked One of the merchants who left him food knew about where he stayed , so we sent a team out looking and found him in a hidden room on the second floor of an old abandoned building . The smell led us there . We found his old drivers license with him , and , after checking it out , figured out who he was . We checked his finances and found he was well off , but never used any of it . We 'll bury him next to his wife and daughters . A sad ending to a sad life . Sometimes life just sucks . " October 10 , 2010 Posted by jammer5 | I write a bit of poetry from time to time . Nothing special , but it does let my itty - bitty brain roam . So here 's nada : Sam never really climbs out of a car , he sort of slithers , if you know what I mean . Sam , you see , is a snake of the first order . He has absolutely no moral standards whatsoever . If he wants you gone , you are gone . Total erasure … you never were . I 've worked for Sam for some years now , fifteen , maybe twenty ; who knows ? He hired me out of college after I got kicked out for pounding on one of the professors for messing up a couple of girls I knew outside a strip club . He said he liked the way I handled myself . Said he watched the whole thing go down , and thought the way I broke the guys face up was real professional , and he could use a guy like me . I started out doing some collecting for him , and worked my way up to being his personal bodyguard . He insisted I learn martial arts , and when Sam insists on something , you did it . I took six straight years of Aikido . You 've seen movies with Steven Seagal and how he uses the other guys moves to beat the shit out of him ? That 's basically what I know . Little strength involved , very fast and very effective . What it means is I can take on more than one guy , and still protect my boss . I 'm very good at it . I 've always been loyal to Sam , even though I know he ain 't got no scruples . He pays me well , I even got medical , dental , and a vacation every year . Matter of fact , I was getting ready to fly down to Florida to see this lady friend of mine today . So I got nothing to complain about . But a serious problem jumped up , and it don 't look good for me . It started when Freddy , the Bull , came by to see me . Freddy got the name " Bull " because of how he was hung like , well , you know , like a bull . Now Bull has always been a stand up guy , know what I mean ? If Bull told you something , it had either happened , or was probably going to happen . You could bank on that . Freddy 's word was gold . Bull 's only problem was that sometimes his brain didn 't think things all the way through . Anyway , Bull came over to my place , which in itself was unusual , as people usually went to his . I hear the doorbell ring , I answer the door , and there 's Bull , big as life , standing there with a shit eatin ' grin on his face . " Freddy " , I said … nobody , but nobody , called him Bull to his face . Why ? He told one guy he was sensitive that way . . . right before he popped him in the back of the head . " What brings you down to my neighborhood ? You know all you gotta do is call , and I 'll be there on the square . " Sam and Freddy were sort of rivals . Not really a territorial thing , but just the same . I had no problem with Freddy , and my boss even let me do a few things for him , if just to keep a ear to the ground . " Donny ! " That 's what they call me … Donny … I hate the name . " Donny , I got some good and bad news for you . The bad news is three of my boys are on their way over to Sams ' right now , and what I 'm thinking is that when they get back , you will be out of a job . " " Oh , man " , I said , " You don 't know what you just done . Your guys ain 't coming back . Why you doing this ? Sam 's always been good to you . You got good territory , what do you need with this mess ? " Bull just smiled and said , " Sam knows my guys are coming . Said he 's sittin ' there scared shitless , and I told him I already bought you . So the good news is that I 'm going to be your new boss . I could use you . Same setup , different boss … what do you care ? " I cared enough that I hit him in the throat with two stiff fingers . He pretty much went down like a dropped rock . I pulled him into the house and closed the door , watching him try to breathe , which , for him , was not going to happen : I 'd crushed his windpipe . It took him all of five minSo now , I sit and wait . You see , Bull 's boys will not get to Sam , but Sam will get to me . I 've known from working for Sam , that even with my talents , I wouldn 't stand a chance . Oh , I 'll take some of his guys out , but I know who 'll he 'll bring along , and I 'll lose in the end . That 's just the way my world works . If I run , he 'll find me . I 've had a good life . Probably be heading down , but you get what you give . Or so I 've been told . Pretty soon a car will drive up . The car door will open , and Sam will slither out . I expect that around five minutes after that , I will cease to exist . Sam will try to erase me , so you keep this and remember me . I 've also been told it 's nice to be remembered . September 2 , 2010 Posted by jammer5 | A short story I wrote some time back after reading about a man who suffered severe depression after losing his wife . So I wrote this because sad endings suck . And no , it wasn 't about that Sarah . It was fleshed out before anybody ever heard of her 🙂 = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Darkness had invaded my life . It pervaded every aspect of my being . All windows shut , all blinds closed . I cared about nothing and no one . I cared even less about myself . Sunlight touching me was like a torch on my skin . Thoughts in my mind turned into black tunnels , where demons and other foul creatures could hide and work their evil on my soul . It started the day she passed away . I knew she was dying , but I had convinced myself that it would never happen . She was my life , my breath , my very soul . Without her , I was not a man ; I was an empty shell . To lose my wife was to lose my life . When she did pass , I fell to the ground and cursed the very God she loved so deeply . I ranted and raved until my mind was a blank slate , and my soul was empty . The darkness had already started to descend , and I didn 't know it . Contempt became my sustenance ; bitterness my wine . I slid into myself and hid away from everything and everyone . The demons came then , and I thought I had met my masters . My dreams were full of frightening images , my waking hours full of misery . I came to long for them to invade my sleep and fill the emptiness inside me , even if it was all ugly . I lived with them for many years . I would only go out to buy food and other necessities . The insurance money I got from my wife 's death made me self sufficient . I had no need to work . Fortunately , we never had children . I would have been unable to raise them in my condition . I always walked to the grocery store , usually in the evening , after the streets were mostly empty , and always passed a pet store on the way . I never really looked at the pets on display in the window , but on one particular evening I did . I noticed a white kitten looking at me with sad , bright blue eyes . I suppose it was seeing the same sad eyes looking back . I saw the same kitten every time I walked passed the store , and I always stopped to look at it . It always had the same , sad expression on its face . On this one day , though , I smiled when I saw it . The kitten immediately jumped up and came to the front of the cage . The sad look instantly changed to one of curiosity . That intrigued me . How could a kitten respond to a smile ? I thought . Was it really my smile it was seeing ? Over the next few days I walked to the pet store just to look at the kitten . I tested my theory by some days just looking at the kitten , and some days smiling . Every time I smiled , the same thing happened : the kitten would come to the front of the cage with the same curious look on its face . I finally went into the store and asked the proprietor about the kitten . He said he had been unable to sell it because it ignored every person that came in to look at it . I walked over to the cage and smiled to the kitten . It came to me , rubbed up against the cage , and meowed . I reached my fingers through the wire of the cage and scratched it . The kitten started purring right away . Visibly taken aback , the proprietor said , " I don 't believe what I am seeing , sir . The kitten has never shown an interest in anyone . How is it that it responds to you ? " " I don 't know , but every time I smile , it seems to know . I believe I will purchase this kitten . Please see I am supplied with eveNot politics , Stuff | My mother passed away after a long hospital stay in 2005 . I 'd moved her to Joplin , MO , after dad died , so I could take care of her . During the five years she lived there , she asked me to write a poem for her . She was a very religious person , so I geared the poem towards her beliefs . After she passed , I felt the poem was incomplete , so I wrote a short story to both complete it , and honor her . The following is what I wrote . A dear friend of mine once told me , we come in as children , and we leave the same way , hence , the picture The carpenter wandered into Joplin one cold February evening . He knew not his purpose , only that this was the place he should be . He had heard a voice telling him to come here , that his journey was coming to an end . Can it be true ? he thought . Will I now be able to rest , to see the Lord my God ? I have searched for that which will allow me to forgive myself . Now , after all these centuries , will I be able to go home to be with Jesus , the Son of God ? Doubts assailed him . He fought them off as best he could , knowing they were the Devil 's work . But they persisted and his hopelessness grew . He put his toolbox down , sat on a corner and watched cars zip by , wondering if any of the occupants of the vehicles felt as he felt . He hoped not . He had had hopes of going home before , but his doubts always kept him from truly believing in his own forgiveness . He watched as a crow landed on a light pole across the street . Don 't I know you ? said the woodworker to the crow . The bird tilted his head as if to say , Yes , we have met many times before . The crow started hopping along the pole . Back and forth he went , all the while looking at the carpenter , and making cawing sounds . The old man knew not what to make of the bird 's behavior . Maybe this crow has some strange disease , he thought . Still the black bird continued its antics . It would stop every so often and look , head cocked , at the carpenter for a minute , and then start hopping again . The old man stood , feeling the pain of years past , picked up his tool box , and walked across the street to be nearer to the crow . The bird stopped its antics and watched the carpenter in silence . As the old man got closer to the light pole , the crow started flapping its wings and cawing . When the old man was standing under the street light , the crow flew east , to the next light pole , and repeated his strange dance . Could it be that this odd bird wishes me to follow him ? thought the carpenter . So walk to the next light pole he did , all the while watching the crow dance and caw . When he got there , the bird flew to a barren tree . That must be what he wants , but where is he leading me ? the old man thought again . Okay , bird , lead and I will follow , he said to the crow in a voice heard only by the wind . So the old man followed the crow as the bird made its way from tree to pole to tree . On they went like that for many blocks until the crow flew up and landed on a window ledge on the third floor of Freeman hospital . The bird pecked on the glass and looked at the carpenter . The carpenter entered the building and walked up the stairs to the third floor . There , he proceeded down the hall to a room where the door was partially ajar . He pushed the door open , walked into the room and found an old woman lying on a bed . The old man walked to her bedside and took her hand in his . He took out a rosary he carried in his pocket and wrapped it around her wrist . The woman opened her eyes and looked at the man . She smiled , and said , " Is it time to go now ? " The carpenter thought back on the long years he had spent wandering the earth in search of his own forgiveness . Watching the dying woman smile and pray , he knew that this was his time to finally forgive himself . He knew it was time to go home . " Goodbye , mother , " he said . " May your soul now rest in peace . " He kissed her forehead one last time and left the room to call the rest of the family to tell them of her passing . I have no idea where this came from . I started to write something on the comedic side , but , being a " pantser " ( someone who writes by the seat of his pants ) as a friend calls me , the writing sometimes takes on a life of its own , as this piece did . Anyway , it 's not my usual but I thought I 'd put it out there anyway . So if ya all like it , I 'm happy ; if not , that 's okay too 🙂 " Jason Moore , you better be getting ready for school . Isn 't today the day a special guest is supposed to put on a show for your school or something ? " yelled mom from the kitchen . That was the day my life changed . . . again . The first time was when my father passed away . I was in the first grade at Radford elementary school . My dad worked at a steel mill , made fairly good money , and took good care of my mother and I . He never missed a day of work , and was never sick . I came home from school one day and found dad and mom talking in their bedroom . Mom was crying , and dad had a sad look on his face . Two months later , he was gone . Mom said it was cancer . I had a hard time dealing with his passing . I was angry with him for not being there for mom and I anymore . While other boys were taught how to catch and throw a baseball , there was no one to teach me . Listening to the other kids make fun of me , for not knowing anything about sports , made me erect a shell around myself for protection . Small stature ran in my family , I looked like I belonged in kindergarten , so it did me little good to protest . There were many times I convinced myself I hated my father ; mom would cry , and I would blame him for it . Why wasn 't he there to make her stop crying ? Why wasn 't he there to teach me all the things dads teach their kids ? I know my anger bothered mom , but I knew no better . Little did I realize that day would change my feelings forever . " I 'll be down in a minute mom . It 's The Magician that 's doing the show today , and I can 't wait to see him . " I hollered back . I was in the fourth grade then . I got all A 's and studied hard so I could make mom proud of me . The trip to school that day was different from the usual ; all the kids were talking about The Magician 's show . There was a lot of speculation on whether he really could perform magic . Kids in the third and fourth grades were starting to question Santa , the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy . There was that part of all of us that wanted it all to be real , but listening to the older kids had us wondering . Anyway , by the time we arrived at school , the consensus seemed to be The Magician was real . I 'm sure some of us , including myself , had our fingers crossed , hoping it was true . The school was divided into two separate buildings : the first through fourth grades were in one , fifth through eighth in the other . The Magician 's first show was at noon in my building ; his second , at two o ' clock , in the other . Early classes were slow , and difficult to keep ones mind on . But the time did eventually pass , and at noon we were all led by our teachers to the auditorium . All us childrens ' attention was on the opening in the curtains at the center of the stage , as that was where we expected The Magician to come out . So it was quite a surprise when we heard a rich , full voice say , " Why , your name is Fran , and quite a fine name it is . I think it 's such a fine name that you will one day be president of your own company . " We all turned to look at Fran , who was sitting in the last row by the rear door . There , standing right next to Fran , was the biggest man I ever saw . He stood well over six and a half feet tall , had a belly round as a basketball , and a snow white beard covering everything but his eyes , nose and mouth . His eyes were bright blue , his nose big and red , and his mouth smiled like he knew he was your best friend , and you were his . He wore a pure white outfit , consisting of a furry pair of pants and a long , shaggy coat that barely touched the ground . His boots were shiny and black . Fran had her hand over her mouth and was trying , but not succeeding , in keeping from giggling . The Magician winked at her , and walked down the rows towards the stage , stopping to talk to some of the students on the way . He stopped next to Brett , the one kid I really hated , because he always made fun of me not having a dad . " Brett , " said The Magician . " I 'll bet if you get your grades up , you might be able to play football in Pee - Wee league next year . I think you 'd make a great offensive lineman . But only if you get good grades . " The Magician spoke to a few others before climbing the stairs to the stage . As he walked to the center of the stage , his long coat slightly dragging the ground , he turned , and with a huge smile on his face , and said , " Hello , children , I am The Magician , and I 've come a very long way to entertain you . " The whole auditorium erupted in applause . Even the teachers were smiling . The Magician held his arms up , smiling all the time , and gestured for the children to stop . He said , " I have many tricks to show you , and I will need some help up here . Is there anyone out there who will help me ? " One of the few memories I have of my father was his laugh . I remember he taught me how to play Go Fish , the card game . I seemed , at the time , to have a penchant for sevens . Every time it was my turn to ask for a card , I would ask my dad if he had any sevens . If he did , I would take it and put it down , proclaiming , " I won ! " My dad would start laughing then . There was no holding back with his laugh . One chuckle and I would start laughing too . Mom would come in from whatever she was doing and find us both rolling on the floor , holding our sides from laughing so much . After my father passed away , there was little laughter in our house . The Magician 's laugh reminded me of my dad 's . After my father passed away , I became somewhat of a loner . As I said earlier , I was small for my age . I was always the last one picked for any of the sports teams , if I was picked at all . Being a straight A student didn 't go over too well with the rest of the class either . The teachers liked me because I studied so hard , which , of course , led to the " teachers pet " nickname . I hated that , but I knew how important an education was , even at that young age . Next , he called out for Brett Sterns , my number one enemy . " Brett , I need a good future offensive lineman up here . Think you can fill the bill ? " He then called Fran up , saying , " Fran Richards ? I need a company President up here to make sure everything is in order . Can you do that for me ? " Fran walked down the aisle and up the stairs like she 'd done it a million times in the past . Nothing seemed to bother her . The Magician shook her hand and led her to a seat . With all of us seated , the Magician started his show . He did some fancy tricks using colored scarves . He crumbled a bunch up in his fist , blew on them , and then showed the kids they were gone . He asked Brett to inspect his hands , to make sure everyone knew they had disappeared . Brett looked very carefully , but couldn 't find the scarves . The Magician then reached into Brett 's front shirt pocket and started pulling out the scarves . I think Brett was more surprised than anyone . The kids erupted in applause . I helped with his magic hat . The Magician had me hold the hat , while he said magic words and waved his hands over it . I looked inside the hat while he was doing that , and could swear I saw light and dark swirling together . It made me dizzy . The Magician reached into the hat and pulled out a white dove . The kids loved it . He let the dove go , and it flew out a window and was gone . The Magician laughed as it flew away , telling the children , " I think he 'll enjoy his freedom , don 't you ? " The Magician 's tricks kept getting more complicated , but not enough to scare us . He had Mary levitating between two of the chairs , with both Brett and myself passing a hula - hoop over her . Brett and I looked at each other wondering how it was possible . We both knew then The Magician had to be real . " Well , this must be a special carrot , then , don 't you think ? " said The Magician . " In fact , from the looks of it , I think it is the magical carrot I 've been looking many years for . This carrot holds very powerful magic . Anyone eating it must have a kind , strong heart , because this magic is very powerful . The auditorium erupted in cheers and applause . I was thinking if Jason 's heart wasn 't good , he might be in trouble . I didn 't understand then , but I was hoping his heart was good . The Magician then called each of us up separately . He called Mary first , gave her a piece of the carrot , while whispering in her ear . Mary got a big grin on her face and smiled at us , before walking back to her chair . Then , he called me . I got out of my seat and walked across the stage to him . He handed me my piece of carrot , and whispered into my ear . He also told me I could never reveal what he said , or the magic would be undone . And , like Mary , I looked at the other three , and felt like I had a new family . Brett was next , and I could see he was scared of what was going on . I know he never saw me smiling at him before , and I think it bothered him . After the Magician handed him the carrot , and whispered to him , I could see a puzzled look creep across his face . But he took the carrot and returned to his seat , all the while looking at me strangely . All the children stood , and started cheering . The four of us looked at each other , and when the Magician said , " Okay , start eating " , we each took our first bite . The carrot tasted like no other carrot I ever ate . It had a sweetness to it that to this day I still can 't describe . It didn 't take us long to finish our pieces . Brett and Mary looked at each other , started laughing out laud , and raised their hands in the air . Fran looked over at me , and we both did the same thing . I don 't know if it was the carrot doing it to us , or just our excitement , but I never felt so good in my life . All my fears started melting away , and when I glanced at Brett , he looked me square in the eye , and started laughing some more . The Magician closed the show by simply disappearing from the stage . He had Bret and I hold up a large , ornate blanket . His last words to the school kids were , " Remember , there is always magic , if you know where to look . " With that , he stepped behind the blanket , had Bret wrap it around him , while I held the other end , winked at both of us before Brett finished the wrapping , and , when we opened the blanket , was gone . Oddly enough , none of us on the stage thought it was strange ; it seemed normal for him to leave like that . The rest of the kids sat stunned , as did the teachers . But he showed up for the later show , and the older kids thought he was great , although he just walked off the stage after that show . He didn 't do his carrot trick either . The rest of the school day went quickly . The teachers knew we were too excited to learn our lessons , so they spent the rest of the day trying to keep us under control . After school , Brett came up to me and apologized for all the bad things he 'd said about me . I think I should have been shocked at hearing him say it , but after what the Magician whispered in my ear , I kind of expected it . When to bus came to take us home , Brett asked me if I could come over some time . I said sure , but I would have to get my mom 's okay . Fran asked if she could come too , at which time Mary chimed in and said , " me too ? " That was the first time I ever saw Brett blush , and couldn 't help laughing . I thought He was going to hit me , but he started laughing too . From that day on , we did that a lot . When I got home , I couldn 't wait to tell mom all about the show , and the magic tricks the Magician did . She said she was proud of me for going on stage in front of all my classmates , and especially proud of me for eating the magic carrot . I told her about Brett inviting me over sometime , and she said okay , but I knew she was wondering what was going on , as she knew how Brett picked on me . Bed time was very difficult for me that night because of all the excitement . I had a hard time going to sleep , but finally dropped off . I dreamed about my father , but this time the dream was different . In it , my father spoke to me for the first time . He said he wished he was there for me , but God had other plans , and God 's will must be done . He said he knew I would be alright without him , but he would still be watching over me all the time . The strange thing about the end of the dream was I could see my father walking away , side by side , with the Magician . Just before they were out of sight , the Magician turned , looked at me and winked . I told mom about the dream in the morning , and she said it was all the excitement from yesterday causing it . But I knew it was my dad in the dream , and I was no longer mad at him . I still missed him so much it hurt , but I knew he was still with me in spirit . From that day forward , the four of us were as brothers and sisters . Well , almost . Fran and I got married after college , as did Brett and Mary . Brett played eight yeas for the Green Bay Packer as a , you guessed it , offensive lineman . Fran started her own company , and called herself President . . . just because . The four of us together have six children , nine grandkids , and life after both The Magician and the magic carrot couldn 't be better . Was there real magic involved ? We 'll let you decide : we already know our answer . Sam 's the name , and playing bass is my game . I was looking to hook - up with a couple of like musicians , if any such existed , and form a band that specialized in playing a combination of Irish Dance and Punk Rock . Maybe we throw in a little bit of rap just to piss off the listeners . Not that it would be necessary , mind you ; the Irish dancers are so freakin ' protective of their music anyway , I figured every time we started playing , they 'd start gnawing on their freakin ' platform shoes , but isn 't that what punk 's all about ? Anyways , I placed an ad in the local paper that read , I 'm looking for sick musicians . If you walk around with vomit on your shoes , if you look at people around you as flopping fish out of water , if your parents try to pass you off as a cloning experiment gone bad , and you can play an instrument , call me . 123 - 555 - 1234 . I got a couple of returns the first day it ran . The first was from a guy who called himself Schnutz . Why did he call himself that ? Damned if I know . He was way too scary to ask . Just the type I was looking for . Schnutz played the drums . Well , he didn 't really play them ; it was more like smash them . This guy was huge , as in tree - big . When he threw his sticks out to the audience , people bled . Needless to say , he was in . The second was from some bloke named , " Eric something . " This wad actually combed his hair for Christ 's sake . He said he used to play with dominoes or something like that . Frikin loser , if you asked me . Bet he probably ends up playing country . . . gag . After that one , I didn 't get another call , so I dropped the ad because it was costing me beer money . One day was enough for me . Now Schnutz and I were really hard up to play . We practiced for three whole days . . . well , maybe a couple of hours each day . . . and learned ourselves a couple of old standbys we could jam on most of the night . And I gotta tell ya , we sounded pretty damn good for a bass and drum band , although the neighbors seemed to think differently until Schnutz straightened them out . After that we went around to all the clubs in town looking for a gig . We finally got one at some ignorant little dump on the East - side , which we almost got thrown out of , probably because the first drunk who asked us to play , " Secret Agent Man " , got an ear full . . . of my bass guitar . But Schnutz , living up to his size , beat up the bouncer with his drum sticks , and they let us stay and finish our set : Frikin ' awesome , dude . " Hey dudes , " he shouted . " That was an impeccable rendition of ' Wooly Bully ' . You ain 't going to pounce on me for asking if you need a guitar player , are you ? " Wooly Bully ? Oh well , this guy had on a pair of jeans that was probably thirty years old , and four sizes too large for him . I wanted them : mine were wearing out . " Hell no , " I shouted back . " I noticed . . . Schnutz , put the trash can down . . . I noticed you giving us a good listen . Think you can keep up with us ? You gotta have an IQ or something . We gotta trade pants first , though . " " I had a teacher one time who told me I got an IQ , and teachers know stuff like that . I gotta a guitar too , " he said defiantly . I liked that : A defiant guitar player . Whodathunk ? " Sure , let 's trade now , " he continued . Right then , some assholes dressed up as cowboys came out of the club . They all jumped on our new guitar player and proceeded to stomp him senseless . Why ? Who knows ; they were cowboys . Well , maybe the fact he was pissing on the tire of their truck had something to do with it . It turned out , though , that the joke was on me . I shoulda had him turn around , as the jeans had no butt . But all good things , yadda , yadda . I went and saw The Last Airbender today in 3D and enjoyed it . I 'll do a review on it another day , as there was something that happened at the start that disappointed me . Prior to the curtain going up , the Johnny Cash version of Ragged Old Flag played over the sound system , followed by The Pledge Of Allegiance . While the theater was only about one third full , one would expect at least some to stand for it . I counted two of us standing with our hands over our hearts . This country was founded with the blood of those who weren 't afraid to spill it for simply the idea of living free . And spill it they did , by the hundreds of thousands in wars we fought right here on our shores , and on the fields of countries where freedom was in jeopardy . Countries like England , France , Italy and many others . Thousands of American soldiers died on those fields , many to never return to these shores again . And I ask myself as well , do we need to shed more blood on these shores to reinforce the beliefs our forefathers placed in The United States Constitution and the Bill of Rights ? And I tell myself , I don 't want to be alive to watch something as horrible as that . I don 't want to think for one second it would be necessary . So I ask you , is this country worth saving ? Can we get together and make this country what it should be , without the hatred ? Or am I spinning my wheels here over something lost , not to be found again . I know I 'm guilty of bashing this political system on more than one occasion , but I 've never hated what we stand for , nor hated people I disagree with enough to wish them harm in any way . I 'll say unabashedly I love this country , but I hate this hatred spreading like a cancer throughout our political system . It 's time we all stop and look at our neighbor , and regardless of what they believe in , understand they , too , are Americans , and that is something we can all be proud of . So I would ask you if you go the the movies , and they play The Pledge of Allegiance before the movie , stand , and show people you do care , and this country is worth it . Ever have a blank day ? You know , you wake up , go about the usual morning routine and . . . blank ? Santa could drop down the chimney , the kids could stand there in awe , and you wouldn 't notice a thing . Flat tire ? Okay . Burned the roast ? Okay . Watch the news ? Words . . . words . . . words . . . Feels like the brain took a holiday . I had my stitches taken out today . It took two hours and I didn 't notice a thing . Got home , laid down for fifteen minutes , and woke up four hours later . Fixed a pb & dill pickle samich , turned on the news and saw . . . nothing . Changed channels to watch MNF and promptly fell asleep again . Felt like a completely wasted day . I 'm blaming it on the weather . Okay , I know you all have been waiting around with baited breath ( Ya , I know . . . bated . . . but baited sounds way much better . Think of , like , catfish bait , anchovies , chicken livers and such hanging from your mouth . Cool , huh ? ) for the official version of my recent surgery . The picture on the left , drawn anatomically correct , illustrates the before and after using the state of the art tools associated with the procedure . As you can clearly see the operation went as scheduled and was a complete success . I will be really happy when I can forgo the pain meds . I am still limited as to how long I can sit without the leg elevated , but will attempt to increase postings , as I know just how really important to the world at large they are . I will be closing down my science blog , as I think I can post basically the same things here , and like a woman , one is a whole lot easier to handle ; just ask Tiger . Speaking of which , how many women has he holed out on ?