Hello , my name is Polly . I live in San Francisco , but I don 't know what the town is called . My favorite word is hello . It seems to be quite the things these days . Mrs . Hollings says " Here Polly , say Hello for momma . " And Mr . Hollings shakes my hand and won 't let go until I say hello . The little Hollings , Jinny and Joey are always trying to make me say more than just hello . Every time a visitor comes in , I say hello , and they are very happy . One day a man came into the house after Mr . Hollings had gone to work and the little Hollings were at school and Mrs . Hollings was gone shopping . I learned later that his name was Vick . He opened the window and came in . " Hello ! " I shrieked . I could almost see his head whip around even though he was in the other room . I heard his neck make a pop . The next moment he poked his head around the corner and said " What a prize ! What a trophy ! " He exclaimed . " Never have I seen such an animal in my life . Do you often make large crowds gather to hear you ? " " You are truly more than dense . " I said , in my most insulting voice . If he heard me , he ignored it . He touched the cage and pulled on it , finally he got some wire cutters and cut the wires of the door . " Foolish man ! " I shrieked . " Look what you 've done . Why , even the littlest Holling has enough sense not to break into my precious and perfect home . Leave off and find something else to amuse you . " " Never ! " I screamed . " I have the home that even a pagan god would have stared in wonder to see . There is nothing better than my priceless abode that you have wickedly incurred damage upon . " He grabbed my neck so that anything else I had to say ended in a squeak . He carried me outside and into a vehicle and drove away . I wished that Mr . or Mrs . or one of the little Hollings would stop this thick skulled , dull witted , dirty bagged man who was taking me away from my home . When at last the vehicle stopped and he picked me up , I was lost as to where we were , but that wasn 't my first problem . He carried me into a building and asked If they sold bird cages . He bought one and pushed me and the bag into it . As soon as he cut the knot of the bag and I got my head out , I shrieked " Fiend ! Son of a slug ! Let me out of this wretched cage . " We got back in the truck . It was a truck , as I could now see , a big , ugly , rusty one . I 'm not sure if the original color was green or blue . I noticed that there was no license plates on it . Being a bird of a sheriff , I noticed this immediately and wished I could get hold of a phone , but I couldn 't . He put my cage beside him in the truck and we drove away . I had stopped shrieking because it made my throat hurt and he was very good at ignoring me . We finally pulled into a driveway . A long driveway that went through a lot of trees and far away from the road . A very secluded and beautiful place , I decided . Fit for a king , like myself . But I was not feeling very kingly at the moment . He took me out of the truck and I was able to get a better look around me . The first thing I noticed , was the king of terrors to a bird . Two tiger cats with mats in their hair were strolling past the porch , one carrying a fat mouse in his jaws . I watched them until they disappeared around the house . There was a house at the back of the porch , I suppose it is quite natural , but I had only lived in an apartment with the Hollings and didn 't know much about porches . The house was pretty large , and made of bricks . An old lady was sitting in a rocking chair , rocking gently while crocheting . As he walked up to the house , he didn 't even look at her but reached for the door knocker . " Well I never ! " She snapped . " No bird talks unless he 's got a devil or sumpin ' in hisself and that bird don 't look like he 's got one . Just looks like he fell in a pot a paint . The liars in this house is tremendous ! " She shook her head and sat back down . Vick didn 't say anything , and I inwardly chuckled . Vick knocked on the door and a man opened the door and said : " Ah Victor ! You have come at last . Your boss is waiting , and has been for some time . What have you got there ? " He asked , bending over and looking at me . I scowled , but he didn 't seem to understand and said " Nice birdie ! Does you want a apple ? " " R - right this way . " The man stammered . I almost felt sorry for him , but not quite . He led Vick up the stairs and knocked on the door . After a moment , a voice inside said " Come in . " Vick entered . A man sat at a desk with a pile of papers in front of him and several others scattered around . A feather pen lay on the paper he was writing and an inkwell stood beside it . I blinked at him and waited . Vick stepped forward and held the cage up " Mr . Welbert , I just came upon this bird and knew you 'd want it . But it 's very rare and has almost supernatural powers . " I fluffed my feathers at the flattery . It was true , at least the king part . I doubted I could stop a hungry cat from tasting me by merely asking it . He held me closer . I stared into the mans pudgy face , with a cigar hanging out of it and puffing smoke into my face . I coughed and decided I did not like him . " Oh , but Mr . Welbert , he does talk . Honest real talk like you and me . " He bent over and said to me " Come on birdie say hello for Mr . Welbert . " I kept my mouth shut , I wasn 't about to do something to put money in this mans filthy pocket . I tried to think of the worst name I could for him , but none of them fit him , so I decided to think about what would happen if I stayed with him , and how it would surely be better to be with the man with the fat face and nasty cigar . I smirked at Vick and said very coolly " Your face is one only a momma could love . So there . " And I turned away . Mr . Welbert stared with his eyes getting bigger and bigger . " You 're not such a handsome guy yourself ! " I snapped at Mr . Welbert . Mr . Welbert stood up and said " Enough ! Take the beast away . I don 't want anyone insulting me ! " " No Wait ! " Mr . Welbert called . " If I could make it say what I wanted , I would take it . Does it know how to do anything other than insult people ? " " Hello , " I said , bowing to Mr . Welbert . " My name is Polly . Making me a girl , not a him as you all like to call me . This son of a worm would be welcome to leave off and scram . I would be much more happy if his slimy face were out of the picture . " " I lived in an apartment with sheriff Hollings . " At the word sheriff , both Vick and Mr . Welbert jumped , the latter dropping the box of money and spinning around . " A sheriff ? " He gasped . " Oh , well nothing , to be sure . But . ( gulp ) A sheriff ? " He turned to Vick and said " How could you be so stupid ? He 'll catch us and see us hung ! My old grandfather , he was hung by a sheriff . Actually it was my great great great great grandfather . He might have been even greater but it escapes my memory during this moment of fear . Anyways , he was hung for stealing a toothpick . " " Stupid , " I said . " A toothpick is how some people say knife . " I raised my eyebrow and went to the back of my cage . " Anyways , there 's no fear of being hung . First , you haven 't stabbed anyone . Second , that was at least one hundred and fifty years ago . Back then you got hung for stealing a cigar . Not that I see how anyone would waste their time stealing one or why such a big deal was made out of such nasty and stupid things as that , but hey ! You know , to each his own way . " " Mr . Hollings only paid one hundred for me , and I 'm older now and not worth so much . I never told the littler Hollings of course because they always thought I was worth about a thousand . But they weren 't the smartest kids anyways . " Mr . Welbert quickly took back a hundred and fifty and said : Mr . Welbert closed the safe . " You 're worth about five hundred to the police . " His hand strayed toward the phone and Vick suddenly smiled and said " I guess this 'll do then . Good day ! " And he left , very quickly . I learned that the man at the door was named Hector , and the old lady on the porch was Miss Gabriela Farthingham . All of them were in a gang where Mr . Welbert was the boss . But even though they were in a gang , I found that most of them were nice , including Miss Farthingham . She was in fact the nicest of them all . But , as this story is not mainly about them like you might have thought , I will not go into any more detail than to say that the three of them brought me to a rich man who they would have sold me to , but the FBI came in and arrested Mr . Welbert and Herbert but left Miss Farthingham alone . Mr . Hollings was there too , and he took me home and put me in a brand new cage , just like the one I had been in before . I never did see Mr . Welbert or Herbert again , even though they both promised me they would get me someday . Neither of them hung , as I had told them , they only were in prison for twelve years . Anyways , I had now seen something more beautiful than anything and I told Mrs . Hollings that my ' wonder of the pagan gods ' was not enough for me and I wanted to see the world . Mrs . Hollings was quite distressed and talked to Mr . Hollings about it . I heard both of them say " If it weren 't for those thieves . " I flew down and perched on his shoulder . I felt like someone important now , I had been to many more places than any bird had . As we left the Japanese shore , I could still see a few Japanese people bowing and waving , the ladies kimonos sweeping the ground . The captain went into his cabin and started counting his money . " Don 't you ever get tired of doing that ? " I asked . " You should put it in a bank , they 'll do it for you . " " Of course there is more ! " He said , rising from his chair and walking to the map on the wall . " Our next stop , Africa ! " His eyes gleamed as he pointed to the place on the map . I frowned and said : " But . Surely there 's something more there that you 're interested in . I mean , you can see missionaries when they come home and you can collect things at an antique shop and see other things at a museum . " " How did they get to the museum ? " He asked . " Because of people like me who went to get them . " He rolled his eyes . " But there is more . I have heard of a treasure there that the heathens treasure more than anything else . I want it . " " I want it because it is obviously worth having . And I will get it by taking it by force . Did you not see all the Japanese samurai that I hired ? They are going to help me . " " Yes . " He sat down and continued counting his money . I flew out of the window and onto the deck . Three Japanese samurai were standing on the deck . I flew to one of them and said : " It is a treasure that is worth much to our nation ! And we won 't be risking our lives , the heathens won 't put up a good enough fight to harm us ! " I fluttered over to the next one and said " Where is the treasure ? " These guys were really helpful . I wished I had a laptop with an internet connection so that I could check google maps for the distance . But , not having one , I watched the sea gulls . Most of them were swooping down and catching fish . I decided to try it and flew out . It only took me a moment to spot a fish , partly because one of it 's fins was out of the water , and partly because it was too big to miss . I wondered why none of the other birds had caught it , it could feed them for some time . I swooped down and grabbed it 's fin in my claws and flapped my wings to go up . But I didn 't go up . I pulled again on the fish and it came up . Snapping it 's jaws . To this day I wonder how I escaped those terrible jaws . I let out a screech and let go . Every one on deck was watching and laughing . I flew over to the ship railing , and said with a shiver " H - how was I to know it was a - a shark ? " My heart was thumping loudly and I wondered if any of them heard it . I went into the captains cabin and sat on his desk . " Outside . " I said , unwilling to tell him of my close call , lest he should worry . I had once seen him worry about his wife . He had told her to stay in one place until he got back . It was because she had nearly been killed by an evil turkey . He did not get back from his trip for almost two months , but she hadn 't moved from where she was the whole time . Such a dutiful woman ! I don 't think I could have done it . Therefore , I tried to prevent it . " I 'm not sure . My great grandfather told me about it a little on his deathbed . He had seen it . He gave me a map so I could find it , too . He died before he could tell me what it was , he only told me that it was worth a lot of money and he would have taken it home with him , but the heathens suspected this and poisoned him . When he got to that part , the poison began taking effect and he died only a moment later . I came home to get the things necessary to take the thing which my great grandfather had given his life to get . " " You are not a normal bird . Do you know that many birds die because they are normal birds ? You aren 't so don 't copy them and you 'll be safer . Anyways , I want you to be alive when we get to Africa so that the heathens will believe you are a god and do everything we ask without a fight . " " Oh splendid ! " I exclaimed . " Why didn 't you tell me from the start ? I would have been all the carefuller if I had known . " I now felt that I was indeed somebody . I was the cause that many people who would have otherwise died , would be let to live . My pride swelled . I was worth a fortune , I was a supernatural bird and I was , to the heathens , a god . For the next week , the trip went fairly smoothly , except for a storm that tore the ship in half . The captain and I and four of the Japanese samurai sat in one half of the ship and the rest of the crew sat in the other half . We attached the ship with a rope so we wouldn 't get separated . When the cook finished meals , I would fly over and bring them to our half of the ship . Every time I came to pick up the food , the cook would complain about the water level . On the fourth day , I went down and the cook was up to his chin in water , but he still had supper ready and still complained about the water level . I haven 't seen him since . On the sixth day , everyone was complaining about being hungry . On the seventh day , we spotted a ship . As it came closer , everyone volunteered that I should fly over and bring back some food . I flew over , but I didn 't bring food . Pirates lined the decks and most were loading cannons . My first thoughts were : " Squawk ! " Of course this was not smart because then they knew they had been seen and hurried more . I flew back and told the captain , and he loaded his guns and the Japanese samurai sharpened their swords . By the time the first cannonball hit our half of the ship , everyone had their hopes high that we would win the battle . By the time the second cannonball hit , the captain said : " Blast it ! I could have hired cannons and gotten more use out of them than these Japanese Samurai . " When the third cannonball hit , the Japanese Samurai were wishing they were safe at home . After the fourth cannonball hit , the enemy boarded the ship and the battle was tremendous ! I wished I could do more than peck at their eyes . After some time I heard the pirate captain shout : " Ha ! But only half ! " And he held up the other half . The two captains went over to each other and put the map together and then the pirate said : " So do I ! " Exclaimed the captain from our ship . Unfortunately , though needless to say , the pirate took the other half and they boarded their ship again . The captain from our ship quickly caught me and said : " K whatev ' " I said , and flew across . The pirate was showing off the map to everyone and passing it around . I landed on his shoulder . " Craaaw ! Polly wanna cracker ! " I said . The captain immediately liked me . He said so and fed me and talked to me . We sailed on all night . In the morning , I came on deck , and neither half of the ship could be seen . It hurt me deeply to know that I was all alone in the world ( which I had learned was very large indeed ) and the captain was dead . I went back to the pirate captain and landed on his shoulder . Everyday , I followed the captain wherever he went and at the end of another week , we were in sight of land . I made sure everyone knew about it . We all got into little boats and went to shore . We were greeted by heathens on the shore . Most of them wore necklaces and that was about all . Some had bows but most had spears . When they saw me , they decided they wanted to eat me and would have killed me if the captain hadn 't bellowed : " Leave off ! " And given them lots of necklaces . It must have been just what they wanted , because they put them on and seemed to think they had more clothing on than before . They then led us to their village and treated us to lizard eggs and monkey feet . Quite a good meal . I wondered why all the pirates made faces and ate only a little . The captain then rose and said : " We have come from far away to see you ! And we have brought more gifts than what you have already been given . But we have this map and are wondering if you know where the place is . " " Well ! We 'll just have to follow the map . " I said . I half expected the heathens to jump with fear and then bow to me like I was a god , but they ignored me and continued eating or making necklaces . We slept for a long time that night , but I woke up early because the tribal chief had picked me up . I started to squawk , but he said Then the whole tribe rushed out howling and shrieking their greetings . Most of the people jumped up and some drew their swords and would have fought if I hadn 't told the captain and he stopped them . Our reunion was a happy one , and I asked the captain what had happened to them and he said they just floated along until they landed on the shore . They were led back to the heathens camp and everyone was woken up for another feast , but the feast never came because as soon as the pirates recognized the captain and his crew , a great battle began and the heathens backed off and had a council of battle about whose side they should join . They quickly decided that the pirates had given them the necklaces and they would give them more if they helped . But then they all changed their minds , because if they killed all the pirates , they could take all the necklaces and be rewarded greatly . Some argument came up about this and before it was decided , the battle was over with the pirates running into the jungle , fleeing for their lives . The others stayed for the rest of the night , and in the morning they all got up and we had a feast . The whole time , the captain told them about how he was trying to find a treasure and would reward anyone who came with him because he had lost all but three of his Japanese Samurai in the battle the night before . Nobody wanted to go with us , however , so in the end , we set off in search of it alone . But the captain was worried , because the pirates still had the map . " We must get it ! " He said as we set out . He knew how to start , but not much more . We had to find the pirates , and of course , it was me who was chosen to fly out in search of them . I flew up above the treetops and searched the jungle floor for the pirates . At first , all I saw were a few cougars and tigers , but then , after a closer look , I saw . Well I started to see , but before I was sure of what I saw , Something grabbed me and pulled me down . I must say , up to that point , nothing so frightening had ever happened before , for at that moment , I realized that the two cougars and tigers were not in sight anymore , and something was behind me and it might be anything . Naturally , I squawked . It turned out to be a native African boy . He took me home and showed me to his mom , but I pretended to be sick , so she made him get rid of me . He complained that it hadn 't been like that when he caught it . It being me . As soon as he put me down , I flew away and I heard him yell " I knew you were tricking ! " I flew back to where I had been , only higher than the treetops so no African boy could catch me again . I saw the pirates , and watched them as they all looked at the map , trying to figure out where they were . I flew down , and the captain looked up and said " Oh there you are . " And looked back at the map . After a minute he said " Oh ! " And everyone looked at him and he began explaining what he thought it meant . Of course , since no one else could figure anything better out , they all agreed and started off . As I expected , they were wrong , and in less than four hours , they had all decided they were lost . Nothing on the map looked like anything around them . They tried going back , but everything looked the same . I landed on the pirate captains shoulder and said : I led them back to where they had started , and they all thanked me . Then they all began looking at the map again . I waited around for some time looking at the map . Finally I said : " Uh hmm ! Attend to me ! I see the way and the hardest work you must do is follow me , which will be quite easy . " The captain pointed out that I had helped before and surely was helping now . So they all followed me . After some time , we came to the place I was looking for , The lions napping place . As soon as the pirates saw the lions , they dropped their things and ran . I was able to grab the bag with the map , fly back to the others and drop it down to them and get back before any of the lions attacked . They were all slinking with their bellies to the ground , slowly forward toward the terrified pirates , who huddled in their trees . I flew to the captain and said , " You have your gun , haven 't you ? " And he exclaimed : " By George ! So I have ! " So he drew it out and shot all the lions as they came up to him . Then he turned to me and said " I have a mind to do the same to you ! " He accepted this and we continued on , but it wasn 't long before the captain noticed that he had left his bag with the map , and insisted on going back for it . So we all sat and waited for him . None of us ever saw him again though , except me , who , upon flying out in search of him , saw one remaining lion and one empty gun and a few bones . On reporting back , an argument broke out about who was to be captain in his place , and as they argued , the others slipped past unnoticed and I followed . The captain thanked me , and said they would surely have more trouble from them . We didn 't . I remember gunshots and then silence . None of them got a proper burial , though it was suggested by me . After walking about a hundred yards from where the pirates had been fighting , we came to a small African village . To the Africans , it was big . It was the largest village in Africa , and their main city . There were only about fifty people in the village . After talking to a few , it was found that a plague had gone through the village . There used to be about one hundred . We stayed overnight , and in the morning , the tribal chief left the village and the captain sent me to follow him , hoping he would lead me to the treasure , because that was as far as the map went , saying the tribal chief was the only one who knew where to find it . I followed him to a place where the trees parted and he went into it . I waited just out of it so he wouldn 't see me . After he came out , I went in . " Squawk ! ! ! " I squawked . Inside was one of the pagan gods I had always talked about . Of course this must be the treasure , because it was made out of gold . I flew over and sat on its head . Just as I was deciding whether to go back and lead the others there or not , I looked up and saw him . Of course , I had never seen him before , but I knew it was him right away . He came over to me and sat down beside me and said : " I have been looking for you for a long time . " I immediately decided not to waste time going back to the captain . We flew away together to live happily ever after . This was very fun to read . I might post it in two parts though . It seems to naturally fall that way and would also make reading it easier .