Well , today was really something . I 'm still feeling sick with this head cold , but needed to go out to pay a bill . We went downtown just fine , Aidan was very good . Then we took a bus out South Commercial to the Wal - Mart where I got a little umbrella stroller . Aidan wanted to ride in it right away , so we went to Rent - A - Center to make the computer payment , it 's only about a block and a half from Wal - Mart . All went well there too . The trouble didn 't start until I wanted to get on a bus back downtown . Aidan didn 't want to get out of the stroller . So we walked , and walked , and walked . Okay , I walked and he rode in the stroller . I think it was about 14 blocks later when Aidan was getting too cold and tired of the stroller . By then we were no longer on a bus route . It was starting to get dark , and only got colder and colder . I walked the next 8 or 9 blocks with Aidan screaming and trying to get out of the stroller . Luckily for both of us he was too tired and angry to think of undoing the little safety belt thing . About 3 blocks from home Aidan suddenly got quiet , so we stopped at a little store and got something to drink and a treat for both of us to share . He 's been wonderful ever since . I feel even worse , my right ear hurts , and the scratchy throat is just barely controlled with cough drops at regular intervals . I talked to Howard on the way home , he sort of tried to convince me he felt bad for me . I was willing to go along with it until he said " Now you know what I go through every day . " Huh ? He may walk most of the way to work most days , but he doesn 't have a preschooler with him . He doesn 't have to worry if the little one is getting too cold , if that cough is because of the weather or because he is getting sick , he doesn 't have to listen to a young boy scream and wonder if someone will call the police thinking I 'm stealing him or hurting him some how , and even if he did he wouldn 't have as much to worry about since he is the biological father , and I 'm only the step - Mom . I know it 's really hard for him , I know he getsPosted by Happy Solstice ! Merry Christmas ! Happy Holidays ! To tell you the truth I 'm feeling rather disappointed about the Holidays this year . I won 't be getting the big family Christmas at Mom 's like I 'd dreamt about while in California . Howard has to work on Christmas Eve , so we will be home , just the three of us . Well it might be 4 if David doesn 't go to his friends house for Christmas . We will have a nice dinner because Howard will have Christmas day off . We will open presents in the morning and watch Aidan play . For some reason I 'm feeling kind of depressed . That is odd for me because I never get depressed , a little down or blue perhaps , but this is more than that . I 'm also overly emotional about everything . Maybe it 's just the fact that so many things seem to be either going badly or not happening at all . 1 ) Howard has to walk , hitch - hike and or catch a ride with people he works with , just to get to work . 2 ) Aidan has started this screaming thing . He screams for no reason at all , or because he didn 't get what he wanted , or because I asked him to do something , or because I want him to ask please . He will scream even when he knows he will get in trouble for it . 3 ) David hasn 't found work yet , which means that we have to cover all the rent and most of the bills . He thinks he can get the electric and gas bills taken care of . 4 ) I 'm getting more headaches than I used to . Some of them are migraines , some of them are stress headaches , and some are sinus related . 5 ) I REALLY wanted this Christmas to be special for Aidan . It 's the first one where he will actually understand what is happening . But without a car we didn 't get a tree . Mom thought she could get us one , a fake one , for free , but that doesn 't look good , and she isn 't going to be here until Saturday anyway . No decorations , things cost more than I expected so I couldn 't get what I wanted for Aidan , besides I couldn 't have gotten it home on the bus . But I am home at least . I 'm back in Oregon where I feel connected . I do get to see my family , and I get to see my friends . MaybePosted by This is a fun way to make snowflakes , without all the paper scraps or the stiff fingers from using the scissors . Snowflakes I hope you enjoy playing around and wasting time as much as I did . LOL I forgot to post these pictures earlier . It snowed here a week or so ago . It didn 't last more than a day , but it was pretty and we had a good time . This was Aidan 's first snow ever . He was instantly in love with it . He loved watching it , making snowballs , even the tiny little snowmen I made . Aidan and Howard went walking in the field behind the apartments . It was still snowing , Aidan was amazed with the falling snowflakes . They got ahead of me so I took this picture of them . Do you know anyone who seems to have very little expression in their voice ? Today I was talking to someone like that . I couldn 't tell if they were upset that I called , or just didn 't have much expression when they talked . I 'm hoping that they just don 't express themselves very well over the phone . Aidan got a holiday gift a little early . We were looking for a rug at the Goodwill by the pound store , and he found one of those Fisher Price race car beds . It was only $ 20 ! It has all the parts and a Baby Sealy mattress . The only problem is that it 's a Toddler bed rather than a Twin , but he is SO in love with it that it 's worth it . I 'll be doing the rest of my shopping after the 15th . After we pay the phone bill and the computer payment , the rest of Howard 's pay check will be available for gifts . I 'm not sure what Aidan will get for DJ . Cars , trucks , planes ? Little People things to go with what he got for his birthday ? I 'm thinking about getting only a few pictures taken at Picture People ( They cost a lot , but we get them the same day ) , and give my parents a frame with them in there , of course some for me too . Mom came out and asked for pictures if we can get them , so I guess that will be best . I want to get something of Snowanna and Craig too , but I 'm not sure what . I don 't want to get baby stuff , because I think a lot of people will be doing that , maybe they would like some pictures too ? Hmmm maybe not . . . Gift certificate ? I 'll think of something . I accept suggestions , if you have any . : ) I think I 'm finally getting over this head cold , today I 'm not coughing as much and my throat doesn 't hurt . It will be great to feel normal again . I recently noticed that unless people see me throwing up or hear me throwing up they don 't seem to understand that I 'm sick . I have a horrible head cold , stuffy head , pressure head ache , soar throat , cough , slight fever and general tiredness . I 've told Howard that I 'm sick , but he still expects me to go out and do the laundry . ( It 's downstairs and across the parking lot . ) I understand that he needs socks , I understand that Aidan needs clean cloths . I need quarters , and the nearest store is a couple of blocks away . Normally that wouldn 't be a problem , but the cold weather just makes me cough more . Coughing agravates my head ache and soar throat . I finally have something to show myself that I 'm actually looseing weight . Several months ago my Mom gave me a pair of jeans , when I tried them on I could almost button them but not quiet and zipping them was out of the question . Even laying on the bed didn 't help . Last week I tried them on again , I finally could button them ! Still couldn 't quiet get the zipper up though . Yesterday I tried them on again , and I can zip them ! I can 't eat , or breath very deeply in them , but I can actually wear them ! They are 4 sizes smaller than the other jeans I have , luckly I have another pair that are only 1 size bigger than the " skinny " ones , so I 'm able to wear jeans that I can breath in but won 't fall off if given the right encouragement . LOLI 'm not sure how to address this next issue . Maybe it deserves an entry of it 's own , but I 'm not sure I want to write about it at all . It 's been bugging me for a long time , so I think I 'd better get it out so that maybe I can let it go . Here goes : It seems to me that my kids are never given the benefit of the doubt by the rest of the family . Excuses are made for everyone else , but none are ever accepted when it 's my kids . For example ; Years ago my Neice , about 6 at the time , said that Allen , about 11 , held her down in a car and laid on top of her . They both had their cloths on , he didn 't touch her except to lay on her , but it was suggested that he had Posted by My wonderful Grandson has a birthday today . If I remember right he is 8 now . I can 't believe that he is already 8 , I mean it feels like only a year or two ago he was born . That may be because he lives on the East Coast while I live on the West Coast , I didn 't get to see him much over the years , so maybe that 's why . Or it could be just the fact that time seems to pass so much faster these days than they used to . Whatever the reason , I want to wish him the best of everything . I wish I could be there to give him a hug and let him know how much he means to me . I 'm sure that if his Mom is reading this she will let him know , or let him read it for himself . Dear Grandson , Happy Birthday ! I hope that your birthday is a good one . I miss you and love you very much . I wish I could be there with you for your birthday , but I just can 't make it . Maybe one day I 'll be able to come out there , will you show me around ? Give your Mom a hug for me okay ? Love , Grandma . I 've been feeling rather ill lately . Stuffy head , soar throat , cough and a slight fever . Yuck ! I think I 'm getting past the worst of it , because my throat feels just a little . . . itchy I guess is the best description . So maybe I 'll be better soon . Being sick has delayed getting some things done . When talking sends you into a coughing fit you don 't make many phone calls . I have to call about Aidan getting into pre - school . If I take too much longer I 'll have to wait until January to do it . I 'd like to have it taken care of as soon as possible . We will see . Well , we still haven 't heard from the people out in West Salem , so we are going to forget about that place and move in with a friend . We will only have to pay about $ 225 for 1 bedroom , and the whole place is bigger anyway . The only problem is that it 's upstairs , but that 's going to be okay . We will be sharing the place with Snowanna 's ex - boyfriend David . We all get along well , he needs some help in order to stay on his feet , it works out to be a lot less in rent and other costs , and maybe when we need more space ( or he wants to be on his own ) we will be able to keep the apartment ourselves . It 's in South Salem , but not nearly as far South as Snowanna is now . Fairly nice neighborhood , friendly neighbors and did I mention will only cost $ 225 or so ! We will be moving in either tonight or tomorrow . It 's kind of funny that he called Snowanna and they talked about this today , because I was thinking the same thing when we drove by there a couple of hours ago . I wasn 't feeling very positive about the West Salem place , and was wondering if David would like some room mates . Strange , hmm ? So now I 'll be able to get Aidan into a pre - school and daycare , I 'll start looking for temp . work , and I can stop stressing over finding a place to live . Plus I get to save about $ 300 over what I 'd pay for a 2 bedroom almost anywhere in Salem . The place we are moving into is $ 450 which is a little low for the area , but I like it . I think we found a place , it 's only one bedroom but will only cost $ 385 a month , saving us $ 200 a month . We will be able to stay there for a couple of years anyway . Then Aidan will need his own space . But until then we will be able to get some things we need , and some of the things we want . Christmas / Solstice will be nice , we will be able to decorate and get a few gifts for family . Still nothing big , because we will be paying off the computer and other bills . I hope that by Aidan 's birthday we will be doing well enough to have a good birthday for him . This year he will understand it better than he did last year . The place isn 't in a " good " area of West Salem , we are hoping that we will be able to move in a couple of years to a better neighborhood . We already know several of the people who live in the complex . Carol and her husband Thomas live there , and the man who will be the upstairs neighbor already introduced himself and is very friendly . Howard knows 3 or 4 others who live there . There are 12 apartments in the complex , so it 's pretty small . I 'll post pictures after we move in and get some furniture . This will be just a short entry , to let any of you who still check in here know that I 'm still around . We are still looking for a place to live . The double wide on 5 acres fell through , and so far we haven 't been able to get an apartment . It looks like I will have a car tomorrow , or at least be well on the way to having it . It belongs to Snowanna 's boyfriend , and we can have it for the price of the title transfer , tags , and an oil change . : ) Anyway , I am hoping that we will have an apartment soon , I 'm starting to look seriously at the " Bad " parts of town . Take care . Last night , while I couldn 't sleep , I was thinking about the various relationships I 've had , and how they influenced me . Some made huge impacts on my life and who I am now , while others made smaller / softer impacts . My first " real " boyfriend was Carlos Rosencrans Jr . , he was a Junior at Gadsden High School the year I was a Freshman . He was sweet and made me feel special . My family moved hundreds of miles away during the Winter break that year , and I never saw him again . He probably never thinks of me , if he remembers me at all . But he was important to me . The first boyfriend to " cheat " on me was Bill Brant . We saw each other for about a year , I wasn 't allowed to date yet though so we didn 't really get to do much . I had a girl friend , who had just transferred to our school , I can 't remember how I knew her before that but I did . Anyway , one day she and I were talking and she started to tell me about her new boyfriend , and mentioned that his name was Bill . We quickly figured out that he was " going " with both of us at the same time . So we gave him a choice , " Her or me . " He chose her . No big deal really , he didn 't have much ambition or direction in his life , we were headed toward a break up anyway . A few days later , she gave him a box of chocolate chip cookies and broke up with him . He called me and asked if I 'd take him back ! I didn 't , and he discovered that the cookies had ex - lax chocolate in them . From him I learn caution when giving my heart . There were boys in High School that I liked , some that I had crushes on , and a few that thought I loved . But until I met Don Weber , through the CB radio , I hadn 't really dated much . Eventually we started to have sex , the first time in the back seat of a car on a double date ! ( It was rather . . . non - exciting , almost boring ) Don and I were married in December 1977 , I had just turned 18 that October , and he was just short of 21 . The marriage was rocky , and full of emotional and occasionally sexual abuse . But I got my 2 oldest sons out of the deal , and for that I 'm grateful . From him Posted by My brother , Mark , my son , Allen , both just had birthdays . Allen turned 24 on the 4th , and Mark turned 38 on the 7th . Both of them are pretty special people too me . I posted a message on Allen 's Myspace account wishing him a Happy Birthday . Mark and his wife , Eileen , came up here for the week - end this week . I hope that both of them know that I love them , and that I think they are wonderful . So what do you think of my new layout ? Any suggestions ? Do you love it or hate it ? Just don 't care ? LOLI 'm trying out the newest version of Blogger . So far it is easier to use than the older version , I think it will be better especially for people new to this kind of stuff . Not much is happening here . Trying to get things taken care of so that I can move down to Grand Ronde as soon as possible . We still don 't know about that mobile home , I guess it will be this week - end or something like that before Howard can see it . I really really hope that it 's a nice place , and that we can move into it over the week - end . I know that it might be a few days more than that before we can move , I have to get the travel permit for the truck and such , plus gas . So I 'll need something like $ 100 to get it all taken care of , but then . . . there will be nothing stopping me . So far none of the jobs I 've applied for have come through . I 'm sort of glad though , because I 'd rather look closer to where we are going to live than Salem , if there is anything that is . Besides I 'd have to move right now in order to be there for the first day of school . I think school starts on September 5th this year . So this gives me some time to relax . Well , I 'm back in Hood River for a little while . I didn 't find an apartment yet , but Howard has a good lead on a double wide mobile home for $ 550 a month , it 's on 5 acres and we might be able to buy a car from the guy . I 'm not 100 % sure that this is all for real , Howard hasn 't seen the place or the car , the guy gave him a ride part of the way back to Salem last night . But if it is for real it would be wonderful , because it 's supposed to be within walking distance for Howard to go to work . I 'm a bit upset with Howard right now anyway , he 's mad because I had to bring Dad 's car back and so I can 't take him to work any more . Which means that he either has to find a car pool , or walk on the days that Snowanna can 't take him . So , according to him , I 'm not doing everything I can to get the car for a while longer . But it 's the only car that is reliable around here , Mom 's car will just decide not to start for no reason , and his little truck is getting old . They don 't want this car to get worn out driving all that way all the time . I can 't blame them , but I wish things were different . I know that I 'm not the one walking 46 miles one way everyday , but there isn 't much I can do right now . Anyway , I don 't know how long I 'll be here . I need gas money to get down there with the truck , and if this house thing is real and comes through next week - end we will be moving anyway so . . . I just don 't know . Oh well , eventually everything will work out , it 's just hard waiting for it . Some of you already know that Howard found a job out at Spirit Mountain Casino . That 's about 3 hours from here . So starting Tuesday he will be in training and I will be driving him to and picking him up from there . We plan to stay with Snowanna this week . I 'm hoping that I 'll find us a place to live that will be closer than Snowanna 's place . I 'll be looking all week . I 'll also be applying for jobs that I can do . There are 4 with the Salem / Keizer school district that I 'm going to apply for . So I 'm thinking that Dalles would be best , it 's a little closer to Salem than to Grand Ronde , 11 to Salem and 15 to Grand Ronde , but I think that will be fine . Once we have a place my next task is going to be looking for a car , something cheap , small and good on gas would be great . I would have liked to have found jobs in a place where I didn 't have to have a car . Mass transit is a wonderful thing . But our situation isn 't going to work without a car . I do have the truck , but . . . it 's a truck and doesn 't do well on saving gas . Besides there is going to be a lot of problem getting it registered and licensed here in Oregon , since we don 't have the title . I didn 't know that it would involve so much paper work and money to get a lost title . Oh well , I 'll have to do some thing about that before we can sell it . Aidan was seen by another EI specialist , she says that he is behind in a few areas , but ahead in a few others . If I 'm back in Hood River next week , August 31 in fact , they both want to see him . And we will talk about what he needs . I 'll then have the paper work for who ever handles that where ever we end up . I was chatting with some people the other night and the subject of loosing contact with old friends came up . For some people it seems they can 't keep in touch if they aren 't able to see the person fairly often , for others it 's distance that seems to come between them and their old friends . But I think the saddest of all reasons for loosing contact with friends is because they changed when they found a new relationship ( Boyfriend / girlfriend ) . For instance one of us had a friend we had known since high school , nearly 20 years . This friend embraced different cultures , enjoyed learning languages , talked of travel to some Spanish speaking countries in order to use her Spanish language skills , and never spoke a racist word . That is until she fell in love with a racist man . He wasn 't very vocal about his racism at first , but slowly things came out . Some times what he had to say sounded okay , until you actually thought about them . So this friend slowly developed into a racist . Getting up set about things that once brought her joy , such as Cinco De Mayo celebrations , and black history month . Maybe it was a good thing when she and her racist husband moved over one thousand miles away , and communication stopped between her and her old friend , because there were no arguments or angry feelings . Just sadness . That 's was the extreme among the people I was talking to , but there were stories of people who gave up things they once enjoyed , and then stated that they had never liked them . Or people who started to watch sports when before their relationship they avoided watching them . I think the strangest part about that is that they all seem to think that they always liked or disliked what ever it was , or they always believed such and such when in fact they didn 't before getting involved with their newest boyfriend / girlfriend . Maybe we all make little changes to our attitude , our outlook on life , and our likes and dislikes in order to suit our new love . I hope that those changes aren 't enough to cause friends to give up on me / you / uPosted by I 've discovered this new web based business . I think it could be a wonderful opportunity , if people will actually buy the product . It 's " Stuff a Friend " , which is similar to " Build a Bear " except that you don 't have to go to the store . You order the friend of your choice , clothing and other cool stuff if you want , and it 's shipped to your house . Where you can stuff it and make it your own . You can get pre - recorded sound boxes to put in them , or a record your own message . I think it would be fun to have a " Stuff a Friend " party . Anyway , if you want to check it out here is my Web site : http : / / www . stuffafriend . biz / members / Becca % 20Riley / Well , things are getting busy around here . Howard and I have to go to job search related classes every morning from 9 to 12 . No big deal , really , a bit of a waste of time for us actually , but not too terrible . We have to put in 15 Applications a week , and make copies of each of them to verify that we actually did them . They are going to love the 4 applications from Salem / Keizer Schools , they are 6 pages long . LOL I 'm going to give them all 24 pages next week , just for giggles . I 'm going to look at jobs here in Hood River too , there aren 't many , but it won 't hurt to try . I 'll look and see if the School system here has a web site , maybe they will have openings similar to those in Salem . I applied at a " Postal Annex " , one of those mail - store - print centers . It 's only part time , but might be fun . It wouldn 't use my education or my other skills , but I 'd get to talk to people . Aidan loves his Daycare . He was mad for 20 minutes because we brought him home . Oh well , I 'm sure he will get over it sooner or later . I got in contact with EI ( Early Intervention ) about his speech issues . We will probably not hear from them until the end of August because they are sort of on Holiday right now . I 'm also thinking of doing Daycare myself . I don 't know though . I 'd like to be with Aidan until he goes to school . But I 'd also like to have a job . . . Oh well , I have to get a job so it doesn 't really matter . We had a nice fourth . Even though I spent most of the day with a headache . We went down town to watch the Parade . It was nice in a very small town kind of way . Aidan collected alot of candy and a couple of stickers . Here is a crowd shot with the girls we were there with . There were some runners , this one had his kids with him . They came down from Odell , which is about 7 miles away . These fighter planes flew over at 10 : 15 AM . Little horses , and cute kids . A guy on a uni - cycle . ( We were at the bottom of a fairly steep hill , and were very glad he didn 't fall ) An interesting old tri - cycle . Smokey Bear . Some old planes did slow circles around town . And a guy balanceing a kayak paddle . Posted by One of the few persistent mispronunciation that Aidan has , involves my Mom 's little dog , Pepper . For some reason he can 't get the p 's in the middle right . He calls him " Pecker Dog " . Howard finds this funny , and I have to admit that sometimes when he says it , it makes me smile . Usually with a little practice Aidan gradually gets the pronunciations right . But with Pepper 's name he hasn 't changed it at all from day one . Right now he is playing in the living room , I can see him through the door . He has some blocks , a long green one and a square yellow one . The yellow one looks like it is supposed to be part of a roof or something , it 's not flat like the green one , it has a smaller square top . Aidan put the green one on the yellow one and tipped it back and forth , saying " Look a see - saw . " He 's right it does look like a see - saw . Aidan is talking more everyday . He is starting to make whole sentences , with 4 or more words . He pronounces most things pretty well . But he is still way behind other kids his age . I 'm sure he will catch up sooner or later . He gets frustrated , and starts to yell when he isn 't understood , or when he doesn 't quite know how to say what he wants . Getting him to calm down and use his words for what he wants or to show us what he wants can be quite a chore . But we have to do it , if we want him to talk more and yell less . He loves his Thomas the Train stuff , so some of his advancements have been made concerning them . He has a wonderful memory which helps a lot . I 'm waiting to get an evaluation until we have a place of our own , it seems like most of the speech therapy is done in the home , and since we are staying in the RV until Mom can sell it , and then will live in a camping trailer when she gets it , I 'm a bit hesitant to have anyone like that over . I don 't know , maybe I 'm just being paranoid . I don 't want them to get any ideas about taking Aidan away . Not that I 've ever had anyone even suggest such a thing , I just worry about it . Here are a few pictures of our trip home . This is what the living room looked like during the packing process , I couldn 't pack everything up , because we were still living there and needed to keep things out . This is the stack of boxes that we took out first , they are full of the things we didn 't need for existance . The blowen out tire . Aidan flirting with a couple of sisters at a rest stop . Same rest stop , different girl . ( I think my youngest son is going to be a ladies man . LOL ) The train at Klamath Falls . It 's an old retired steam engine . Aidan thinks trains are pretty great right now . He still loves trucks and cars , and has decided that dinosaurs and dragons are cool too , but his favorite things are trains . Our first clear view of Mount Hood . We were on I - 84 leaving The Dalles . Aidan waiting for Grandaddy at the McDonalds in Hood River . He was ready for the trip to be over . : ) I 'll post some more pictures I 've taken since we got here later . I intended to update you all about how the move went as soon as we got here . But my Mom and Dad had a dial - up connection and I didn 't want to tie up their line for long , and it kept having problems with dropping the connection . All that changed yesterday when I finally got the DSL hooked up and working . So , we made it to Hood River on May 9th . Everyone and everything survived the trip , although I was not all together sure that it would end up that way during the trip . I tried to keep some notes in my day planner on the things that happened on our epic trip home to Oregon , so here are some of them . May 4thWe still haven 't left ! One delay after another , including delays in loading the trailer . I almost worked myself into heat exhaustion trying to get everything packed , loaded , and cleaning up . In the end I left the place in a big mess . The truck was too heavy in the front so that the tongue almost touched the ground , we moved it anyway to a location were we could work on it without being in the street . The guys worked on it until 10 PM yesterday , they got it to work and then we decided to go to the Quality Inn n Merced for the night . I don 't think I could have slept on the floor at Jimmy 's , every part of my body hurt too much . It 's a nice place to stay , but I was too stressed and tired to enjoy it much . Today everything went along fine , they had the truck and trailer working together fine , but then the discovered a wiring problem so they spent a couple of hours tracking down the problem , and several more fixing it . By then it was 9PM so we went back to the Quality Inn for another night , tomorrow by noon we should be able to finally get out of here ! May 5th 7 : 23 PMWell , some progress was made today . We WERE able to leave around noon . The truck is very slow because the trailer is very heavy , we can only go about 45 to 50 mph , but it goes ! We stopped at Cody 's , one of my brothers , and had a wonderful visit with Cody and the kids . Kelly , his wife , was sick and in bed when we were there . Then we stopped to get something to Posted by Today we will be leaving for Oregon . We have a couple of people coming to help finish up all the moving . Yesterday we had another delay , the truck and trailer had to be wired for lights . That took almost all day to get done . At 8PM we loaded some boxes and the two dressers , by 10 we just couldn 't do any more so we called it quits . The people who said they would help never showed up . This morning I 'm packing up the day to day stuff I had to leave out just so we could be somewhat normal through this . Howard and Jimmy went to do a tire so we can have some extra money . The guys who are going to help with stuff today are supposed to be here at 9 . I 'm hoping that we can be finished by about noon . I have to take the cable box in and pay that bill , and then go to the insurance office and get the truck put on the insurance . Well , I guess I 'd better go get things done . I 'm not sure when I 'll be in Hood River , but I 'll try to get on line in with an update as soon as I can . Take Care all . I am so frustrated ! ! ! Almost everything in ready to pack the trailer , except THE TRAILER ! ! ! It needs new axles , the ones Howard and Jimmy got for it were 7 inches too short . Of course they waited until Saturday to get them so now they have to wait until Monday to get the metal guy to add the 7 inches to them . Which means I 'll have to wait until Tuesday to even start loading the truck and it has to be done Tuesday ! I don 't think I can do it in one day even with leaving so much stuff behind . I might just have to let Howard stuff everything from the shed into the trailer instead of going through it all . I don 't want to put any of that stuff outside until I 'm ready to put it in the trailer , because I don 't want it stolen . Every space available if full of boxes so there isn 't any space left to put new boxes . So I can 't even pack what is left to be packed . GRRRRRRR ! ! ! I want to scream at someone , or throw things , or basically act like a frustrated child . Of course I can 't do that , so instead I 'm on the verge of tears off and on today . To top it off I 'm having a head ache induced by hormones and cramping , which probably explains my over emotional state right now . ( Sigh ) I 'll be okay , everything will get done , and I 'll be on my way home in just a couple of days ! ( Imagine wild cheering here . ) P . S . I know I used a lot of exclamation marks in this post , but I 'm hormonal and it made me feel less frustrated . Really it did . We finally got the house sold . We had to settle for $ 700 because we wanted to leave by the third . Now it 's a sure thing , we will be leaving by the third of May ! Hurray ! Now we have a list of things to get done , none of them very hard . 1 . Paint the fenders on the trailer . 2 . Take the trailer in to get the license . 3 . Pack up ( I have a plan for this as well ) . 4 . Have dinner with Howard 's Cousin Jim and Aunt Martha . 5 . Take the cable box in , pay the final bill . 6 . Call the phone company to shut off the phone and give them my new address for the final bill . 7 . Talk to the insurance people about the truck . 8 . Look around for anything we forgot . 9 . Get in the truck and leave ! We will stop by my brother Cody 's house on the way out to see them . I think we will go the coast route because it will be a little bit easier for the truck to handle than the other ways . Besides Aidan can get his look at the ocean . So , depending on how long it takes us , how often we stop , and how slow we have to drive because of the trailer , we could be in Hood River in less than 2 weeks ! Still no news on when the move will happen . The trailer has fenders now , all we need to do is get doors on it and get it licensed . Then we can start to pack it up . We get money on the third , so maybe we can leave by Saturday the sixth . Yesterday was a migraine day . I slept from 1 : 30 PM until 6 : 30 and still had a headache . It faded after we had dinner , but is still sitting there behind my right eye waiting . I feel like I could sleep all day today too . Of course I won 't be able to do that . It 's hard to describe the way I feel after a migraine . The pain is gone , but I 'm still not quite back to normal . It 's like a memory of the pain , or a tiredness like after a leg cramp , that feeling that if I move wrong it will come back . Anyway , today I 'm in that almost back to normal phase . I hope that this afternoon it will be gone for good . Yesterday I was sick . It might have been a flu bug or just a reaction to the food I 've been eating . ( Sometimes I feel sick after eating red meat . My Doctor thinks it 's the hormones and / or chemicals that animals are fed these days . They build up in my body and then I have to eat chicken or go vegetarian for a few days in order to feel normal again . ) But whatever it was I 'm feeling better today . The weather should be good today , and I should be able to get things together to get the permits this afternoon . Then the only thing left to do would be putting the doors on the trailer , putting a second coat of paint on the trailer and packing it up . It looks like it will be Tuesday or Wednesday before we can leave . We might have the car sold , and someone else looked at the house the other night . So maybe we will have enough cash to get home . I had a dream that we were in Oregon , and it felt so good to be home . It didn 't seem to be much of a rush or too much of a problem , but somehow I wasn 't with Howard and Aidan . I was trying to catch up with them . I 'm not sure what I was driving , or if I was with other people . It 's been too long since I woke up , the details are fading . All in all it was a good dream though . Sometimes it feels like we will never get out of here . But we have to leave the trailer park by the end of May regardless of anything else . So . . . Keep good thoughts that we will be back in Oregon before Christopher 's birthday on the 10th of May . I know that is almost 3 weeks away , but the way things are going it could take that long . There has been progress , although not as much as I 'd like . The truck got it 's carburetor re - built , it still needs a tune up and the timing set . Then I 'll go get the trip permit to take it to Oregon . The trailer is almost done . It needs doors and a paint job . Oh and Howard needs to get some bolts to bolt the box down to the sheet metal part of the trailer . I will also need to get a permit for it . I 've been so sleepy the last couple of days . Before we had Aidan I used to spend days like this in bed , sleeping and maybe watching some TV or drawing . Now , of course , I have to watch Aidan , so no all day naps for me . Those of you that I actually send e - mail to will soon notice that I 've started to change my e - mail address . I won 't be using the comcast address any more once we move , so I thought it would be a good idea to get some of it changed over to the new Yahoo address . I 'll also be using it for comments on blogs and such . It 's the same as the comcast one , it just ends with yahoo . com instead of comcast . net . There has been an other short delay in the move . Howard stressed his back on Saturday and hasn 't been able to move around much until today . He 's almost back to normal today . So we are behind a little bit with building the " box " for the trailer . I had a migraine yesterday so I 'm a bit behind on packing and cleaning . Oh well , things are still good for leaving this week - end . We will see how it goes from here . Even more good news , there is a man who is interested in this place . He says he will have $ 1000 tomorrow . That will allow me to pay $ 500 in bills and still have money left for the move . Keep your fingers crossed that he will actually come up with the money , we can use all the good luck we can get . I think we will take the coast route to Oregon , because the hills are much easier and there is less chance for snow . The weather has been very wet the last few days , with lots of snow up in the mountains . They are saying that the snow level is going up though , so who knows . It will take longer going the coast route , but will be a nice drive and easier for the truck to handle , I hope . Well , the truck ( pick - up ) finally got here . They fixed a " module " for about $ 23 . The next thing will be a complete go over to make sure everything is in good working order . It needs the timing set and some newer tires . Now we have to get a trailer . We could easily get one that is basically the bed of a pick - up , but that will be too little . There is an other one that we think is big enough , but we are not sure we can get it . Keep in mind this is all free stuff . So it is conceivable that we will be moving by the end of the week . However , I 'm not going to hold my breath . Every week since the end of January we have thought we would be able to move by the end of the week . ( sigh ) My list of things I 'm taking with me is getting smaller all the time . I still need to get into the shed and see what is salvageable . But chances are I 'll be leaving most of it here . I want to find my books , and a few other things . But I don 't need most of that stuff , I 've become accustomed to having it . So I 'll be taking my Queen size bed ( mattress , box springs , frame and headboard ) , Aidan 's twin size bed ( mattress , box springs , frame , headboard and footboard ) my two dressers , the china cabinet , filing cabinet , art cabinet , a small desk , 3 small tables , a small bookcase , 2 TV 's , computers , 2 lamps , microwave , various boxes of things , our cloths , Aidan 's toys , and a few other small odds and ends of things . Aidan LOVES the truck . The first night it was here he got mad when we brought him in . He wanted to sleep in it ! So it has become known as " Aidan 's truck " . Here are a few pictures of it with Aidan playing in it today . It 's not a very pretty truck . Here 's an update on that weight loss study : My anonymous commenter is probably right , it is a scam . I got a call yesterday , it seems that they are not taking any more people into the study . Now they are offering a discount to actually get all the stuff . Hmm . . . If I can 't get $ 150 in order to make $ 1000 why do they think I 'll be able to pay even a discounted price ? Oh well , it would have been nice . I would like to loose a lot of weight , and the $ 1000 would have been great , but since anyone can qualify for the so called test , and they are already selling the product that was being studied just last week ( not enough time to collect necessary data ) I 'd have to agree that this is a scam . ( sigh ) I don 't know what is happening with the move . I guess there is a 1978 Dodge truck that is supposed to be here any time now . It needs some work , but if the problem is what Jimmy thinks it is it won 't cost much to fix it . There is also a trailer , kind of a boxed in truck bed with a roll up door , that we are also supposed to be getting soon . So . . . I 'm trying not to get my hopes up too high , but IF it all works out the way Jimmy says it will , it will be wonderful ! Aidan was sick a couple of days ago . It seemed like everything he had to eat or drink would come back up in just a few minutes . Twice it happened in the car , and once it happened all over me . My stomach was irritable for two days after that and then I had a day of sitting in the bathroom almost all day . Today I 'm feeling pretty good , except that I 'm tired . Oh and allergies , but those are normal for me around here at this time of year . Yesterday I asked Aidan to be quiet . He has started to repeat everything anyone says . But when I told him that I didn 't feel well , he came over to me , put his hand on my cheek and said " Oh , poor little Mama . " It was so cute . He sounded so concerned . Yesterday while shopping Aidan was looking at the wall in Food 4 Less , pointed and said " Black Q . " You know what ? He was right ! I didn 't know he knew what a Q was ! Today I cut a piece of toast in half , corner to corner , and he said " Triangle toast . " Wow ! I didn 't know he knew what a triangle was either . He is finally starting to talk a lot , almost able to hold a conversation , and coming out with suppressing things . He is still fairly well behaved , but is starting to say no or just ignore what we tell him to do . Luckily for him it 's only a once in awhile thing . He only has melt downs when he is tired , but now that he is trying to skip the afternoon nap that happens regularly . He is also starting to sleep in later . No more waking up a 5 AM , he will now sleep until 7 , or once in awhile even 8 . Right now he is talking to the TV , it 's the Backyardagains . He really likes them as well as Dora and Diego . Of course Sesame Street is always something he will sit still for . ( Probably why he knows about Q 's and triangles ) During most of his " Shows " he will be playing , pretending to read , drawing , or some other activity . This is a new Backyardagains , so he is interested more than normal . The kids are having a race " around the world " they were snowboarding down a mountain and Aidan was telling them " Be careful , don 't crash . " He had to say it 4 times , once for each of the 4 characters that are in this adventure . He is counting objects now . Ducks in a book , pieces of tomato , and movies in the book case . He counts in Spanish up to 7 sometimes too , thanks to Dora and Diego . I 'm going to see if my Dad would mind teaching Aidan more Spanish . He brought a stuffed toy to me with a shirt to wrap around it , then he carried it like a baby , patted it on the back and then put it to bed . It was so cute , he doesn 't know any babies right now , so maybe it 's just a natural nurturing part of his personality . He knows almost all his body parts , and can show them to you as well as name them . His Daddy and I are having a disagreement about the words forPosted by Howard 's birthday was Saturday the fourth of March . The day started out sunny and warm . He wanted to BBQ in the park so that Aidan could play on the slide he likes . So he called a friend and invited him and his wife to the park with us . By the time Howard got the hamburgers on the grill it had become overcast and cold . We toughed it out until after we had eaten , because Aidan was having such a good time . And because having people who aren 't family to talk to can be interesting sometimes . Howard said that the day was a good one for him , because we were together , Aidan was so happy to be playing in the park , and we had some nice conversation . Here are some pictures I took of Aidan , my batteries died early , so I only got about 4 or 5 pictures . Well , there is still not much news about our move . There is a possibility of a u - haul type truck that we could get for next to nothing and we would be able to keep it . But I don 't know how that is going to work out . There have been a few people who have looked at the house . Yesterday one lady actually said that she would get the money and come back , but she didn 't . I 'm hoping that she will come back with the money eventually and that we will get that truck . Howard says that we will be leaving before the end of the month . I know I 'm starting to sound like a broken record , but I really need to get out of here . It took me a while to get to this point . I was looking for another house or something , because we didn 't have any money , Howard needed to get a job up there first , I needed more of a long term plan . But now that I 've gotten past that particular set of worries , I and very anxious to get going . So far 2 months of wanting to finally leave , and still there isn 't much progress . I 'm sure that when it 's the right time it will happen . Howard has more possibilities for jobs now than he did a couple of months ago . He 's talked to people in Coos Bay and Albany , just recently . So maybe it 's a good thing . It 's a little worrisome that only one in four Americans can name more than one of the five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment . But more than half can name at least two members of the Simpsons , according to a survey . I 'm ashamed to say that I can only name 4 or the 5 . I remembered Freedom of Religion , Freedom of the press , Freedom of speech , and Freedom of Assembly , but completely forgot the Freedom to petition for redress of grievances . Could you have named them before today ? Do you know what the other Amendments are ? If so you are ahead of me , I can 't remember most of them . This bothers me some what , because I think we should all know and understand them and yet here I am one of them many who don 't know . I 'm not even sure if I 've ever studied them . Maybe I should study them on my own . There is an interesting study going on right now , about weight loss . They think they have come up with a perfect weight loss program . It sounds interesting , you diet one day and eat what ever you want the next day . They have a vitamin crystal you take on the " Food Days " , which is supposed to help with energy . On the " Diet Days " you eat only fruit and vegetables , drink water and eat these wafers which are made from a root and expands somewhat in your stomach . The only exercise you have to do is walk 30 to 40 minutes a day . At the end of the study they will pay all who have made it through the whole study $ 1000 . The only problem I have is they want a $ 150 deposit , which you will get back eventually , to make sure " only those who are truly serious about loosing weight " get in . I 'm probably more serious than anyone else in their study , but I don 't have that right now . My credit card is maxed out right now , and ever penny we get we have to either save for the move or get things we need . So I 'm not going to be able to do the study . But maybe there will be a second study with a smaller deposit , or maybe we will have money soon and I can still sign up . Oh , if you are interested or know someone who might be interested their web site is http : / / dietstudy . com Let me know if anyone does it and how it works out . I 'm still not sure when we will be moving to Oregon . We haven 't been able to sell the house , I don 't think any work has been done on building a moving trailer , and Jimmy wants to tow the trailer up there for us , but I don 't think I 'll be able to afford to pay for gas . I 'm getting worried , I don 't want to be here any longer , but it looks like we may be here for another month anyway . But there is a possible bright spot , Howard has talked to someone in CoosBay about a job . It pays about $ 2000 a month , gross pay . Not too bad , I think . If they like his resume he could have an interview in a couple of weeks . Coos Bay isn 't my first choice of places to live , but it 's better than here . It 's getting depressing not knowing if will be able to leave this month or not . I 'm about half packed and I don 't feel very encouraged to pack any more . I could get quite a bit packed and still be able to live day to day , but I just can 't seem to bring myself to do it . I am getting rid of a lot of things , well actually I 'm just going to leave them here . Maybe someone can use them . We are going to take the beds , two dressers , the china cabinet , the art cabinet , the filing cabinet , computers , cloths , Aidan 's toys ( although many of the older ones are not going with us ) , about half the dishes and pots and pans , about half the boxes of things I 've been moving with us , the desk , a lamp or two , and maybe the freezer . Hopefully the trailer will be done soon and I can start to move things out there to get them out of the way . If I keep Buddy close to the trailer no one will be getting into it . I 've been feeling very tired a lot lately . I 'm not sure why . But I need to fight it , and get busy around here . It 's a challenge to do things like pack and clean with a busy 3 year old trying to " help " or thinking he can get away with doing things he would normally get in trouble for . He naps only half the time these days , so I can 't count of that time to do things . Howard gets too involved in his computer or TV and doesn 't ' watch Aidan well enough ( or maybe I 'm Posted by Today my sweet little boy is 3 ! How did the years fly by so fast ? WOW 3 years already ! Dear Little Valentines boy , I love you so very completely . It 's hard to believe you are already 3 , and yet it seems as if you have been part of me forever . You are growing bigger and bigger all the time , and learning new things every day . You are talking more now days , but still not as much as what I 've heard others your age are talking . You know how to make your wants known , you can tell your Daddy and I that you love us , and you have a good memory for people and their names , so I think you are doing pretty well . You enjoy playing with computers , any computer will make you happy . You like books , trucks , cars , red things , Elmo , Cookie Monster , Grover , you cat named Ti , and your dog Buddy . You are 39 inches tall ( at least as far as I can tell with the growth chart I have , when I can get you to pass by it slow enough for me to see it ) . You can count to 20 with only a few skipped numbers , a few mispronounced , but you know what they mean . You like the ABC 's , but refuse to say them . You are well behaved , for a child your age , you listen to me and usually do what I tell you to do . You go to bed easily , and sleep pretty good , for your nap and at night . You are trying to skip the afternoon nap though . I want you to know just how happy I am that you are in my life . You can make me smile when I 'm in a bad mood . I don 't know what I 'd do without you . Here is your birthday cake , you liked it because of the trucks . You didn 't care about the candle or eating the cake however . Happy birthday my little love ! One of the bloggers I like to read , lives in the area that I grew up in , down in New Mexico . She has a flickr photostream as well . Part of me wants to ask her to go and find the place we lived when I was a child and photograph the house . Part of me is afraid that if she did that I 'd be disappointed or upset by what she would find . Even if I actually asked her and she should agree I 'm not sure I could tell her how to find the place . It would be interesting though , to see how close my memory is to how the house actually is . If it 's still there and if they hadn 't done much to change it in the . . . 32 ? . . . years since we left . I guess it 's unlikely that things would be the same as when we left , all these years would have brought changes , even if only small ones . Maybe someday I 'll go back there and see for myself , if I could find it that is . Today is The Girls birthday . I would like to be with her today , to help her celebrate . Dear little Sister - friend , I love you ! I feel so lucky to have you in my life , even though we don 't see each other very often . I wish you a day that is as special for you as you are special to me . Have fun , play , enjoy . I love you ! It looks like we will have to wait until next month to make this move . The house didn 't sell , and I don 't think it will . So now we have to find a trailer , maybe Howard 's cousin Jimmy can build one for free . The main problem with that is that he wants to tow it up to Hood River for us , I think he trying to save my car for me . I 'd rather have a truck to tow it ourselves . It 's very nice of him , if I 'm right , to think of letting me keep my car . Oh well , we will see how it all works . It gives me some more time to go through things and pack stuff up , so maybe a blessing in disguise . If we get the trailer , and a lock , I can load some stuff up early as well . Well , we didn 't see them yesterday . We will have to pay the rent on the space when we get paid tomorrow . So they have until tonight and then they will have to wait until the end of the month to get the house , if they still want it . So the search of a truck and trailer is on . Jimmy thinks he can build one for us , and maybe we can get a truck . He also has a King Cab , I think , truck that needs a little work , but he could take us up to Hood River , towing a trailer , in it . Not what I 'd want , because I 'd like to have transportation once we are up there , but if that is what we have to do then that is what we will do . I 'm slowly progressing with packing up those thing we don 't NEED for everyday life . I am also deciding to get rid of almost half of the things I have . Some things will go in the dumpster , some will go to whoever wants them , some we might be able to sell . Of course we will have to speed things up if they come over with the money tonight . ( We might have missed them yesterday , because we went around to get my Wheel of the Year photos , so we were gone for a couple of hours in the middle of the day . Then from 6 to about 8 : 30 we were at Denny 's for dinner with Jimmy , his wife , sister and mother . ) Well , I will know tomorrow if we actually have this house sold . Keep your fingers crossed for us . I really want to be in Oregon for Aidan 's birthday . I don 't want to sell my car , which I will have to do in order to get the money to move if the house isn 't sold . I 'd rather not pay space rent here this month if I can help it . Maybe I can find a truck and trailer to trade my car for . I am really feeling stressed over this . I don 't normally stress very much , but this move has become much more than just a move to me . It 's a going home . Once I decided that we were actually going to do it now , rather than sometime in the future , it became much more important than any other move I 've ever made . Now all I have to do is survive until tomorrow , and then do whatever I have to do to make it happen as soon as possible . It seems possible that we will be moving back to Oregon next month . We need to come up with $ 2000 for the move . We might have this old house sold for $ 1500 , and we will have the other $ 500 on the third . But , the lady who MIGHT buy the house has to talk her daughter into moving into it . And from what Howard said the Daughter is reluctant at best . I might be able to sell my car for $ 2000 , but I 'd rather keep it if possible . If we can 't sell the house this month , I guess we will just have to wait until March . I 'll pay as little as possible on the bills in February and save every penny I can . Hopefully Howard and work enough for Jimmy to get the rest of what we will need . So I 'm pretty sure that we , Aidan and I , will be in Hood River with my Parents before summer . I 'm kind of torn about it however . I have been feeling rather lonely lately . I miss my family and friends , and haven 't made any friends here except for Howard 's family . I also , for the first time , felt like the poor relations who are included in family gatherings only because they are family this last Holiday season . No one was mean or rude , but I felt like we didn 't fit in at all . I was sad for Aidan , although he didn 't notice anything , because all the other kids have Grandma 's and Great - Grandma who dote on them . Aidan had only Howard and I . The other kids got presents from their Aunts and Uncles , we even gave each one a book , but Aidan didn 't get anything . It 's not that I think presents are important , but more that everyone else was opening presents and Aidan didn 't have any . But at his age he didn 't notice . If we lived some where away from any family or friends we already have I wouldn 't feel so bad . Because there wouldn 't be anyone to be compared to . Do you understand ? On the other hand , Aidan has a real connection to Jimmy and Buna . He loves them SO much , and he will miss them very much when we leave . I am sad that he will have to go through that , but again he just might not be bothered as much as I worry he will be . It will be easier for him now for twoPosted by These are the pictures I tried to post last month . I still don 't know why they wouldn 't post , but they do now so here they are . The first has the back ground blurred a little bit . The second is Black and White with the apple the only touch of color . The color of the apple is too dark though and I can 't seem to be able to fix it . The third has an old photo treatment done to it , sepia toned , softened a little , blurred edges , and rounded corners . You don 't see the rounded corners very well except for the lower right corner . I really really hate fog ! It scares me if I have to drive in it . I tense up and get panicky . Tonight it made me cry . We were going to a friends house for dinner and a good visit . The fog didn 't seem too bad at first , I thought I could drive through it and I thought everything would be okay . But after missing the exit twice , once going north the other going south , and then not being able to see more than a few feet ahead of me I started to shake , and my hands stared to hurt from squeezing the steering wheel as if that would help me to see better . Finally , when I couldn 't find the next road we needed to take I felt I had to give up . We were after all only about 1 mile away from Atwater , about 20 or so away from our destination . So I told Howard that it was over and I couldn 't do it any more . He wanted me to let him drive , and I wanted very much to let him . But he is excluded from my insurance , because he doesn 't have a drivers license right now , so I couldn 't allow it . Finally we were home , we were safe , and I could let go of the tension . I , of course started immediately started to cry . Poor Howard didn 't know what to do to make it better . He told me that we were all home safe , and that we could see our friends another time . I am feeling better now , we have been home for about 45 minutes . I 'm still shaking a little bit , and my back hurts from the stress , but I 'm not overly emotional any more , thank goodness . Here are the photos I choose for the Wheel of the Year project . The first one is the temperature at 1PM on the first . It was pouring down rain , and the wind was blowing fairly hard . It felt a lot colder than this . The second photo is of Aidan 's dinner plate . This is what we had for dinner on the first . It 's a pork , potato and onion Southwestern hash , if you look really hard you can see the steam from his corn . The third photo is the view out my bedroom window at 6PM , the little lights are about a block away . The fourth one is of the arbor / arch in the little park down town . It 's going to be covered by what I think are climbing roses in the Spring . The fifth is of our tree , the one in the front yard . It was raining so hard I got drenched taking it . The sixth is the Moutain range I can see from around here . They finally have snow on them . I took this today , while at the lake . The seventh is Yosemite Lake . It had more water in it a couple of summers ago when we were there , the water came up to the concrete edge and was about 2 feet deep there . As you can see the level is quite low today . It was a very beautiful day to go to the lake today . The eighth is my current project as is on the first . It 's going to be a hat , if / when I finish it . The ninth is the main street into the park here where I live . If you turned right here , you would see my house . Taken today to avoid standing in the rain . The tenth is Aidan sleeping the night of the first , he wouldn 't co - operate with a picture of him in front of his growth chart , so . . . The eleventh is an Orchard over in Winton , not far from here . I don 't know what kind of trees these are , maybe peach . I took this today . After all the rain it was almost a perfect day . The twelfth , is a local construction site , I took this on the third while it was still raining . Posted by