In the summer of ' 88 , when my older sister turned 16 and started dating a 34 - year - old Amway salesman , my father discovered we had unacceptable levels of radon trapped in our house . That was ten years ago , though it doesn 't feel like it . It was a presidential election summer , and in addition to Howard , Julie 's new boyfriend , my mother was upset about George Bush 's campaign tactics , which she called Nazi - like and un - American . My father was worried that Michael Dukakis might win the election and ruin the economy , and he was also upset because his favorite TV preachers were all in trouble - Oral Roberts said God was going to kill him unless he raised four million dollars soon , Jim Bakker was being revealed as a bisexual , and Jimmy Swaggart had been caught with a prostitute - but most of all my father was going crazy about radon , which he was convinced would give us all cancer , soon . And everyone was worried about AIDS , which I heard one newscaster describe as a plague that could eventually wipe out half the world 's population . Luckily , no one was worried much about me . I was 15 , on the baseball , football , and basketball teams , an average student , and my two best friends , whom I hung out with constantly , were Mary Dao and Allan Freizman . Mary - a year younger than us and a grade ahead of us - was the smartest girl in the district , and Allan was another all - around athlete , like me . One night that summer my parents were in the living room arguing . They had started out discussing politics and eventually got around , as usual , to radon and Julie 's boyfriend . My father wanted to spend four thousand dollars to seal up and ventilate the basement , and my mother wanted him to do something about Howard . " Honey , " my father said . " Breathing the radon trapped in this house is the equivalent of smoking sixteen packs of cigarettes a day . " " Honey , " my mother answered . " Your 16 - year - old daughter is sleeping with an Amway salesman . " Upstairs , in my room , I was searching my closet for a dark jacket . Mary , Allan , and I were meeting at McDonald 's . We were casing a house we planned on robbing . I don 't really know which one of us started the whole robbing thing , but that summer was the beginning and end of it . No one in the world would have ever suspected us . No one did . We must have robbed a dozen houses , all told . In the beginning it was a game . There 's not a lot to do on Long Island , so we 'd walk around , through the developments . Pretty much , we 'd wind up in people 's yards , where we 'd sit and talk and drink beer and smoke grass when we could get it , and we 'd keep an eye on the people through their windows . One night Allan brought binoculars , hoping to catch a peek of someone getting undressed . We didn 't . It turned out to be an old lady 's house where we wound up . We had a couple of joints with us and Allan wanted to go hunting for a better yard , but Mary just wanted to get stoned . So we compromised . We 'd get stoned where we were and then go looking for a better yard . Mary 's skin looked like it was always deeply tanned , and she had big eyes and black hair slicked straight back ( she claimed she 'd rather die than wear bangs ) and pulled into two little pony tails that made her look pixieish , along with being so frail . But God , was she smart . She spoke Vietnamese , French , and English , all fluently ; and she always had a book in her pocket . Half the time , Allan and I didn 't know what she was talking about , and she knew we didn 't know and went on anyway . It impressed us , and I think she liked impressing us . Allan and I admired the hell out of Mary , and we were both trying to get her to take off her clothes . That night in the old lady 's yard , Mary was explaining our philosophies to us . " Rick , " she said , sitting cross - legged under a tree , slightly above me . She toked on a joint , held the grass in , and then spoke as she exhaled , her voice high and thin . " You 're a materialist , " she said , pointing at me , the joint between her fingers . " You don 't care about what you can 't see or feel - and maybe use . But if you can 't see it or feel it , man - you don 't give a shit about it . " And that 's when it started . Allan had seen the old woman take some money out of a bowl and put it in her handbag . A few minutes later , a car pulled up the driveway and a man took her away . I don 't remember who said what first , or if anybody even said anything - but we must have all been thinking the same thing , because a few minutes later we kicked in a basement window , climbed up a flight of stairs , and ran out the back door with the money . Later , Mary said it was the most exciting thing she had ever done . The money came to a little over 80 dollars , which we split evenly . That was a couple of months earlier . The place we were casing - - Allan spotted it driving home with his dad . Allan 's father 's an ex - cop who owns a topless bar on Jericho Turnpike . Or he did then anyway . Now I hear he 's retired in Florida . Allan always said he didn 't hate his old man because it would take too much energy . He said his father was a stupid drunk who didn 't care about anything but screwing the dancers who worked for him . His mother he didn 't know . She had left when he was a child . Allan told us that she had moved to Alaska and married a Husky . He said he couldn 't blame her for wanting to move up in life . The house he spotted was only a few blocks from his own . An ambulance had just driven away and a police car was parked at the curb . Allan 's dad stopped to talk to the cop , the way he always did , and Allan overheard that the man who lived there was old and three - quarters dead , and kept a loaded gun in every room . At the mention of the guns , Allan said he slunk down in his seat and acted bored while trying to hear every word . The old man used to be important - something about something in World War Two , but Allan didn 't get the details . Now he refused to live in a home or with his children . The whole thing was too good to pass up . Guns were easy money in the city : we knew a pawn shop that bought them no questions asked . All we had to do was sit in the old guy 's yard and wait for him to leave the house . I couldn 't find the dark jacket I was looking for , so I settled for denim . In the living room , Julie had joined the argument . From the top of the stairs , I could see my father sitting back in his Lazy Boy like a reluctant judge , while my mother stood on one side of the chair and my sister on the other . " I won 't have this ! " my mother said , slapping the arm of the chair . " I want you , " she said to Julie , " to bring him here tonight . And I want you , " she said to my father , " to tell him we 'll have him put in jail if this doesn 't stop right now . " She looked at Julie . " I won 't have this , " she repeated . Julie talked to Dad as if they were the only two people in the room . " This is nobody 's business but mine , " she said calmly . " I 'm grown up now . I 'll make my own decisions and I don 't need any help from anyone . " He lowered his arms . Julie 's hair was bright red and shaved at the temples , short over the top , and long in the back , where it was dyed blond . She wore a gigantic crucifix dangling from her right ear , and a " Jesus is My Friend " T - shirt that was too small on her : it left a few inches of her stomach bare and her breasts struggling for freedom . Her pants , she had slashed with a razor from top to bottom , so from where I stood I could see she was wearing red panties . My father jumped up , excited . " You know ! " he shouted , quieting them both . " We didn 't always used to argue like this , did we ? " " Go ahead ! " he screamed . " Treat me like I 'm mad ! I 'm telling you , this poison we 're breathing is half our problem . " face covered ; my sister looking at the wall ; my father glaring at both of them . Then his shoulders drooped forward , and he left the room with tears brimming in his eyes . He went out into the yard . My mother looked up . When she saw me , her face brightened . I 've always had that effect on her , even now . She says I 'm the best thing in her life . " Rick , honey , " she said . " Come here . " " I 'm meeting Mary , " I said , on my way down the stairs . My mother loved Mary . When she came to visit , they 'd often sit and talk for hours while I wandered in and out , pretending to be interested . My mother never questioned what I was doing , as long as I was doing it with Mary . By the front door , she put her arm around my shoulder . " Five minutes for your Mom , " she said . " I need to talk to somebody sane around here . " We sat down on the front steps , under the dim yellow light . Behind us , the bug - zapper was working overtime : I can still hear the pop and sizzle of bugs getting fried . " Really , Mom , " I said . " I 've got to go in a minute . " With me , my mother was always dramatic like that - like I 'm this pure thing besmirched by a dirty world . " Maybe Dad 's got a point about the radon , " I said . " Do you know what it is - radon ? " I looked down at the steps . I always hated it when she said things that I guessed made some kind of sense if you were smart enough to figure them out - which I never was . I blamed it on the teacher in her . She was a high school teacher . She looked at me . I guess she heard something in my voice . " I shouldn 't do that , " she said . " I know . Talk to you about your father like that - about me and your father . " She was about to cry . Tears were building in her eyes . " It 's just that . . .  . I need to . . .  . " " Poor Rick , " she said . " You have so much to deal with . It must be hard , growing up now : the whole world literally falling apart , society degenerating the way it is . " " This Willie Horton commercial , " she said , perking up . " Here 's a man climbing into the White House on the shoulders of a rapist . Could anything be more cynical , more devoid of morality ? What 's happened to ethics in this country ? " " Reagan , " she said , " coming on the television and lying to the American public like that , lying through his teeth - with such sincerity . Liar . Liar . Liar . " I was tempted for a moment to ask her what Reagan lied about . I liked him . I thought he was a good guy . But the temptation only lasted for a second . " Mom , " I said . " I have - " " Go ahead ! " She gestured as if she were talking to someone standing in front of us . " Pollute the water , foul the air , destroy the planet ! Who cares , as long as you make a buck ? God Bless the almighty dollar in whom we trust ! " " Sure , " she said . " You go have fun . Between this greenhouse thing , ozone holes , nuclear weapons everywhere , and , God help us , this new plague , this AIDS . . .  . " She stopped suddenly and took hold of my wrist . " Rick , " she said . " You 're not . . .  . You haven 't started . . .  . " " No . I missed that , " I said , walking into the shadows . I called back : " See you later , Mom . " Behind me , she stood there by the front door , under the yellow light , and looked out at our quiet suburban street , her face a mixture of disgust and fear , as if in the line of dark houses and neatly mown lawns she saw something repulsive . I always liked walking on Long Island . There you are , surrounded by millions of people - but they 're all locked up tight in their houses , and you could just as well be on the moon as you pass by the blue television light coming from their living rooms 15 feet away . It 's nice : private . I always liked it . A few weeks earlier , I had sneaked out of my house at three in the morning to go over to Mary 's . It was dumb , really . We hadn 't done anything : touched each other , seen each other , nothing . Then we just decided one night - I 'm 15 , she 's 14 - that we 'd do it : have sex , sleep together . So I climbed out my window at three in the morning , and Long Island 's something different at that hour . It 's changed . The streets are dark and quiet , hardly any cars on the roads . You can hear natural things : the wind shuffling leaves and branches , a bird chirping , that kind of stuff . When I got to Mary 's , she had left a ladder leaning against the house , and I climbed up to her bedroom where she was waiting , kneeling by the window in a white cotton gown that pictured Sylvester the Cat looking over a picket fence at Tweety Bird . I should have known she wasn 't serious . Even if she were , I don 't know that I could have done anything : I was so nervous about being in her house , her parents asleep a few doors over . Mary 's parents were tough . I 'm sure her old man would have killed me had he found me there . He used to be a colonel in the South Vietnamese Army . Mary obeyed her parents , but she said she didn 't respect them . Her brother Robert was gay . According to Mary , he had been all his life . She loved him , and she used to love having him around the house when he was a teenager , in high school , and his friends were over all the time . They practically lived there , especially between three and seven - after school and before their parents got home . Then , when Robert was 16 and a junior , his parents found out and everything changed . They sent him away to school and forbade Mary to even mention his name . The parents paid his bills and pretended he was dead . And lost Mary 's respect . She said her life had never been the same after Robert went away . She was never as happy as she used to be when Robert and his friends were always around the house . They paid attention to her , she said . They treated her like a princess . In her room , Mary took me by the hand and led me to her bed , where we crawled under the sheets together . She had a flashlight there , and I had this feeling like I was seven years old again and playing Tent on a sleep - over . Mary was happy . I could see it . She smiled and held my hand and her eyes were mischievous and bright . I didn 't know a lot about sex then , though I had seen enough of it on television to know I was going to have to get past Sylvester and Tweety before anything happened . Mary had started talking about the heat , which was unbearable that summer , in the 90 's and 100 's day after day ; and everybody was talking about the greenhouse effect . Mary was getting into what was going to happen when the polar ice caps melted , flooding the poor , underdeveloped countries where the people were already suffering terribly . She said , " Thirty - five thousand children die every day from hunger . Right now . Imagine what will happen when their whole country turns into a giant lake . " " I know you do . " She had been to the house a few days earlier and spent most of the evening talking to her . " Mary , " I said . " We 're both virgins . " Mary went on , but I stopped listening . Every once in a while I 'd reach over and touch her breasts and she 'd let me , but if I tried anything more , she 'd just say " AIDS , you know , " with this look like there was some kind of joke going on that I didn 't get . I stuck around till daybreak anyway , and from then on after that I was always grabbing feels off Mary whenever I could get her alone , which I was constantly trying to do . Years later I found out from Allan that he had had about identical experiences with Mary , only she had never let him into her bedroom in the middle of the night - which I was unreasonably pleased about . " Same stuff , " I said . We left McDonald 's and started for the old man 's house . " My father 's still got radon on the brain . " Mary put her hand over her eyes . " I told you , " she said . " You can 't trust those tests . They 're rip - offs . " Allan thought for a moment . " You think we could pull off something like that ? " He jumped in front of us . " Radon Busters ! We be fast , radon be slow ! " When we got to the old man 's house , we found all the lights off . In the backyard , we sat by a Mimosa tree . Thick clouds had sailed in , and we couldn 't see much at all in the darkness . " I don 't know . " We had been there once before when all the lights were out , and then just as we were about to break a basement window , the television went on . Loud . Very loud . We could hear it clear all the way out in the yard . " Don 't forget last time , " I said . " This guy never keeps the lights on . He 's weird . " The basement smelled like no one had been in it for years , musty and damp . Allan was searching the place with his penlight , looking through cardboard boxes and inside closets . Mary and I took out our penlights and looked around . When Allan started up the stairs , we followed . At the top of the steps , a door opened on a dark corridor . " This is the part I love , " Mary said , almost to herself . " It 's so exciting . You never know what you 'll find . " Mary shushed me . We were in a den , and Allan was searching through the drawers of a roll - top desk . " Bingo , " he said , and dropped a Colt 45 on the desk top . " This guy 's a regular cowboy . " He spun the barrel . " Loaded . " " From the other side of the room , I heard a loud click and then Mary : " Holy goddamn shit , " she said . " It 's open . " I turned to see her kneeling in front of a safe . The thing was three feet high and must have weighed five hundred pounds . " I knelt behind her . Inside the safe was a small open area full of papers , and then a bunch of compartments with little round keyholes . Mary tried one and found it locked . " Shit , " she said . They didn 't look like the kind of compartments you could break into without plastic explosives . I reached around her and pulled the papers out . They were mostly insurance policies and legal documents . One was an 8 × 10 picture of an old guy who I guessed was the guy that lived there . He was dressed in all that long black Jewish gear . " Shit , " I said , and turned back to Allan . " I think this guy 's a rabbi or something . " " Hey ! " Allan hurried around the desk . For a second I thought I had gotten him mad enough to fight me , but it turned out he had found a key inside an envelope . He crouched beside Mary and tried one of the compartments . The key turned and he pulled out the drawer . It was full of hundred dollar bills . Mary whipped the drawer out and started counting , and Allan unlocked the other compartments . They were all stuffed with money - mostly hundreds , some fifties and twenties . " Oh my God , " I kept saying . Mary said , " Jesus " every time Allan opened another drawer . By the time he pulled out the last compartment , Allan was laughing out loud , Mary was repeating " Jesus , Jesus , Jesus , " and I was slapping them both on the back and whooping . We all three turned around slowly , and all three of us looked at the gun on the desk top . It was strange . We didn 't yell , or make a sound out of fright , or jump for the gun - we just turned around slowly and looked . Perhaps it was because In the doorway , an old man was bent over behind a walker . " Is that you ? " he repeated , sounding a little frightened this time , and then he reached up and switched on a light . Allan and I leapt across the room simultaneously and hit him so hard we knocked him the length of the hallway . He slid back and banged into a closed door . I shut off the light and in another couple of seconds Allan had pulled two trash bags out of his jacket , thrown all the money into them , and handed one to Mary . We went out the back door and tore through a trail of back yards until we neared Allan 's house . " Damn , " Allan said when he caught his breath . He was smiling . " That guy flew like he had wings , man ! He must have thought a truck hit him ! " He laughed . " Shit , " I said . " I was scared to death . I thought sure the old son - of - a - bitch would be carrying an assault rifle or something ! I thought we were dead , man ! " " He couldn 't have hit you with a bazooka , " Mary said . " Here . How come I 'm carrying this ? " She swung the bag of money over to me . By the time we reached Allan 's house , it was drizzling . The light was on in his father 's bedroom , so we crossed around to the side of the house , toward the entrance to his basement , which was finished like an apartment . When we passed the kitchen window , we saw a naked girl by the kitchen table , and we froze because she was only a few feet away from us . She was standing there taking the last bites of a sandwich as calmly as if she were fully dressed in the privacy of a locked - up room , and not stark naked directly in front of an uncurtained bay window . She had long , blond hair and a body that made me stare , even though Mary was right there . The girl didn 't look a hell of a lot older than us , and the letters LDB were tattooed once in a diagonal line across her right breast , and once again where her pubic hair should have been but wasn 't . The letters were tattooed so low there that if she ever let her hair grow back they 'd be covered entirely . She finished the sandwich , wiped her mouth with the back of her hand , and left the kitchen . " Ouch ! " I looked at Mary . I was trying to make a joke , because I was a little embarrassed about the way I had stopped and looked . " You think that tattoo hurt ? " Mary was standing with her hands on her hips . " I don 't know , " she said . " I heard branded cattle don 't really feel it . " Allan said , " Another dancer - my dad 's latest . Come on . " Inside the basement , we emptied the money onto a poker table , and Allan pulled down all the shades and locked the door to upstairs . Mary sat at the table and started counting . Allan stood across from her . " So what are you so pissed about ? " he asked . Mary divided the money into three stacks . She took one , wrapped it in her bag , and stuffed the bag into her jeans . " This is the last time for me , " she said , and started for the door . " I 'm not doing it anymore . " Allan threw himself across the table . " Hey , come on guys ! Why don 't you stick around awhile ? " He gestured toward the ceiling , meaning he couldn 't go upstairs because of his father . Mary hesitated , as if she might change her mind and stay - which I hoped she wouldn 't because I was looking forward to being alone with her . Finally , she said : " Just go to sleep down here , Allan . " And she walked out . I walked Mary back to her house . The clouds had blown over and it had stopped raining . We hardly said a word to each other until we reached her block . I always knew she was more sensitive about things than she let on because of how she talked about Robert , and because of that night I spent at Mary 's : once when she had fallen asleep for awhile , I looked through a bunch of books she had lined up under her window , where she liked to lie and read , and they were all books on philosophy and religion , the kind of stuff I don 't think anybody even writes anymore , and there was another book too , about the Vietnam War , something Mary never talked about , and when I opened it up , I found things underlined , including the number 13 , 500 , 000 , which wasn 't just underlined but circled , and it turned out to be the number of Vietnamese killed and wounded in the war - which surprised me , because I always thought it was such a small place that I wouldn 't have guessed there were that many people in the whole country . When we reached her house , all the lights were out . Mary said , " My parents must still be in the city . I thought they 'd be home by now . " " Christ , " Mary said . " He was mostly blind - that 's why the lights were never on in the house . And he was mostly deaf - that 's why the T . V . came on so loud . He 's probably a little senile too . I 'll bet anything he thought we were his kids . I 'll bet anything he 's got children named Bobby and Roseanne . And I still won 't be surprised if I read in the paper tomorrow that you guys killed him , you hit him so hard . " " We didn 't kill him , " I said . " All we did was knock him down the hallway so we 'd have time to get out . You know , " I said . " Nobody had to drag you into this . You liked the whole thing as much as we did . " I took a step back . Without thinking , I said : " What 's there to believe in ? " Then I added , quickly : " I know what I believe . I believe that you and I should make love , the way we said we would , because I don 't know what the hell we 're waiting for . " Mary nodded , as if agreeing with herself about something . She was quiet for awhile , and we both stood there on her doorstep staring at each other . Finally , in response to my proposal , she smiled and said : " AIDS , you know . " She shook her head . " I 'm not a virgin . I had sex when I was 12 with one of Robert 's friends , and now I found out he has My knees got that feeling , like they 'd turned to water , and I felt shaky and chilled . I was thinking about the times I made out with Mary , how we 'd stuck our tongues in each other 's mouths . I didn 't say it , but Mary knew what I was thinking . She said , " You can 't catch AIDS from kissing , " and went into her house and closed the door . That was the end of it . I never saw her again , except at school , and she never said another word to me or Allan . I walked home telling myself you couldn 't catch AIDS by kissing , and by the time I got home I had myself pretty well convinced , but I couldn 't help feeling a little nervous about it anyway . On the porch , I checked to be sure the money was well hidden under my shirt , and I tried to look casual as I walked through the front door . No one was in the living room , but the door to the basement was open , and Julie and Dad and a guy I guessed was Howard were all crawling around on their hands and knees . They looked like they were grazing . They didn 't notice me and I walked by the open door and found my mother alone in the kitchen with the lights off , sobbing . I didn 't know what to say , or if I even wanted to say anything , but she had seen me , and I couldn 't just ignore her . " What 's wrong ? " I asked . " Looking for cracks , " she hissed . " Howard sold your father some gunk to seal up the cracks and keep the radon out . The three of them are down there like a little happy family sealing up the basement . " " Right , " I said . Julie had been sleeping with the guys she dated since she was 13 . At 15 she had an abortion , and after that my mother put her on the pill . I left her there in the kitchen sobbing and went up to my room . I undressed and stuck the money under my pillow and got into bed , and for some reason that little time between getting into bed and falling asleep is what I remember best and sharpest about that night . It 's a vivid memory - clear and troubling in a way I can 't pin down . I think now that I was in love with Mary , and I remember that night because that was the end of it - but it 's something more , too . Like it means something , but I don 't know what . I 've never stolen anything since , and neither , I 'd guess , have Mary or Allan . They both went on to college , as I did , and now Allan does something with some corporation , and Mary 's married and has a kid - so she didn 't have AIDS after all . I never heard what happened to her brother , but I 'm sure he 's dead by now . I 'm an engineer with Toshiba . I 'm still single , I screw around a lot , but someday I want to get married . I never spent my four thousand from the robbery . It 's mixed in now with a few thousand more , all in CDs . I can 't say I ever really felt guilty about the robbery - so that 's not what bothers me in the memory . It 's something else . I 'm in that bedroom waiting to fall asleep , the money 's under my pillow , Mom 's crying downstairs , and Dad and Julie and this guy Howard are crawling around trying to seal up the basement - and it all feels like it means something that it 's somehow beyond me to understand . It 's like one of those dreams when you 've lost something important , when something tremendously important is missing , and you don 't even know what it is . Edward Falco Edward Falco 's latest novel is Saint John of the Five Boroughs . His previous books include the short story collections Acid and Sabbath Night in the Church of the Piranha : New and Selected Stories ; the prose poem / short fiction collection In the Park of Culture ; and the novels Wolf Point and Winter in Florida . He lives in Blacksburg , Virginia , where he is the director of the MFA Program in Creative Writing at Virginia Tech . Issue :