BiologyChemistryConstructionCultureEcologyEconomyElectronicsFinanceGeographyHistoryInformaticsLawMathematicsMechanicsMedicineOtherPedagogyPhilosophyPhysicsPolicyPsychologySociologySportTourism Спасибо , что скачали книгу в бесплатной электронной библиотеке Royallib . ru 10 page " The proposition that I want to make you is that I buy this house . If you feel uncomfortable about it , you can pay the rent to me , although I don 't see why you should . Or some token amount to make it legal , like a dollar a month , or a hundred a year . I don 't give a damn about it . We can ask the lawyers how it has to be . When we get married , I can give it to you as a gift , or put it in trust for you in my will . If we don 't marry , and don 't stay together , which would make me very sad " - she smiled at him , they both knew that there was no risk of that , from all they could see at the moment - " then we could turn it into a loan , and you could pay me back over thirty years , or fifty for all I care , but I wouldn 't pull the house out from under you . This house should be yours , and I 'd feel better for you , knowing that you own it now , or that someone does who loves you and isn 't going to change their mind and stop renting it to you . This house is yours , Finn . It belonged to your family for hundreds of years . If you 'll agree , I 'd like to buy it now and protect it for you , and our children . And just to cover all the bases , in case this baby doesn 't happen for some reason , I still feel the same way . I don 't need the money . I don 't know what they 're asking for it , but I think it will make a very , very small dent in what Paul gave me . " She was being totally honest with him , as Finn stared at her in amazement . It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him , and she wanted nothing from him in return . She just loved him . " My God , what did he give you ? " Finn couldn 't help asking . She was totally unconcerned about buying the house and what it would cost her . And Finn realized she was doing it for him , out of love . Hope didn 't hesitate when she answered . There was no one else on earth she would tell , except him . She trusted him with her life , their baby , and her fortune . She didn 't consider the money hers anyway , it was Paul 's , and should have been Mimi 's . And now , one day , it would go to this baby , and Blaxton House was part of that baby 's heritage anyway , because it was Finn 's . She was helping him build a legacy for their child , and if not , out of kindness , for him . " He gave me fifty million from the sale of his company . He sold it for two hundred net after the sale . I 'll get another fifty when he dies , hopefully not soon . And it 's carefully invested . I actually made quite a lot of money last year . I guess money breeds more money . That 's an awful lot for one woman with few needs . I can afford to buy the house , " she said simply . " And I 'd like to do that for you . Do you know how much they want for it ? " She had no idea what a house like his would sell for in Ireland . He laughed in answer . " A million pounds . That 's less than two million U . S . dollars . " It was laughable in comparison to the kind of money she was talking about , which was inconceivable to him . He knew she had money , that was obvious , and she had said that Paul had been extremely generous with her . But he had had no idea she had that kind of money . It was beyond his wildest imagination . " And we can probably get them down on the price for cash , way down . The house is in pretty bad shape , as you know . We might even be able to get it for seven or eight hundred thousand pounds , which would be a windfall for them , and a bargain for us . That would be about a million and a half , in dollars . " And then he looked at her sternly . " Hope , are you sure ? We 've only been together for four months . That 's a hell of a gesture . " What she was proposing was the greatest gift of his life , beyond his wildest dreams . " Let me think about it , " he said . He seemed overwhelmed . He leaned over and kissed her , drained his glass of wine , filled it , and drained that one too , and then he laughed again . " I think I may have to get drunk tonight . This is all a little rich for my blood . I don 't even know what to say to you , except that I love you and you 're an extraordinary woman . " They both went to bed shortly after that . They were tired , the emotions of the day were too much for him , and he passed out from the wine . They both woke up in the middle of the night . There was a storm outside , and Finn turned to her in the dark , looking at her , propped up on one elbow . " Yes . " She smiled at him . She was happy with the offer she had made him . It felt right to her , and it was so little money compared to what she had . And it was such a great house for them . " Can I accept the offer now , or do I have to wait until morning ? " He looked like an overgrown boy in the dark , and his eyes were dancing , he was so happy . She was making him the greatest gift of his life . And he was almost afraid she would change her mind and take it back . But he didn 't know Hope if he thought that . She was a woman of her word . " You can accept the offer anytime you like , " she said , with a gentle hand on his neck as the wind howled outside . It was raining hard . Spring didn 't come easily in Ireland , and it was an odd feeling for her , knowing this was going to be her home now , but she loved it too . And she was proud of his ancestral house , sharing it with him , and hopefully their child , or even children . The future lay brightly before them . " Then I want to say yes to your generous offer . Thank you for giving me back my house . And I promise you , when we get married , when I make the money for it , I 'll pay you back . I 'll rent it from you , for the same price I pay now . And I 'll pay you back in installments , whenever I can . It may take a while , but I 'll do it . " " You can do it any way you want . But at least you 'll know the house is yours and no one can take it away from you , nor should they . You 're the rightful heir . " He nodded with tears in his eyes , even though he was smiling . He was in awe of her again . " Thank you . I don 't know what else to say . I love you , Hope . " " I love you too , Finn . " He put his head on her shoulder and went back to sleep then , like a child . He looked as though he felt peaceful and safe , as she lay holding him , and gently stroked his hair . And finally , she fell asleep again too , as the storm raged on outside . The day after the storm Hope called the bank and made all the arrangements to buy the house , and Finn helped her . They had lost a tree in the night , but they didn 't care . It hadn 't hurt anyone , and had done no damage . And the owner of the house , who had bought the property as an investment , was happy to accept seven hundred and eighty thousand pounds , a million five hundred thousand dollars . It was a terrific price , and Finn was ecstatic . Hope had the money wired , and since there were no conditions on the sale , Blaxton House was theirs eight days later . Legally , it belonged to her , but she had all the papers drawn up , leaving it to him in the event of her death , and allowing him to pay a nominal rent for now . Once they were married , the house would be put in trust for their child . And if for some reason they didn 't marry , or there was no child , he could still buy the house from her , over an extended time . It was a fantastic deal for him , and one he never could have gotten otherwise . And she was already making plans to restore it to its original beauty . Hope was thrilled to have a free hand for the restoration . There was nothing in it for her , except the joy of making Finn happy , and knowing that they owned the house they were living in , and where their baby would grow up . She reminded Finn again that the deal was not contingent on her pregnancy . If for any reason they lost the baby , nothing changed . And if their relationship failed , she was still willing to let him buy the house from her over time . It was the ideal arrangement for him , and he said she was the most generous woman in the world . Hope insisted it was a blessing for them both . She had asked no one 's advice and needed no one 's permission . She just did it , and notified her bank to make the wire transfer to the previous owner . Everyone was extremely pleased with the deal . And Finn most of all , but Hope was happy too . He put the deed to the house in his desk drawer like it was made of gold . And then he turned to Hope , and knelt down before her , looking into her eyes . " I 'm formally asking you to marry me , " he said solemnly , taking her hand in his own . There was no one to ask . She had no relatives except Paul , and that wouldn 't have been appropriate , although Finn was grateful to him as well for how generous he had been with Hope . " Will you be my wife , Hope ? " Tears filled her eyes as he knelt before her , and she nodded . She was too moved to speak , and cried much more easily now , with their baby in her womb . " I promise I 'll take care of you all your life . You won 't regret it for a minute . " She didn 't think she would . " I 'll get you an engagement ring the next time we go to London . When do you think we should get married ? " The baby was due in November , and she wanted to do it before that , if only to legitimize the child . But she didn 't want to wait anyway . They were both sure about their love . " Maybe we shouldn 't make official plans till you tell Michael , " Hope said , thinking of his son , and not wanting him to feel left out . " Maybe we could get married this summer in Cape Cod . " That would mean a lot to her . " I 'd rather get married here , " Finn said honestly . " Somehow it would seem more official . We could still do it over the summer , when Michael is here . He always comes over at some point , even if it 's not for long . " " I need to meet him first , before we tell him , " Hope said sensibly , and they both agreed that they didn 't want to tell him on the phone . He knew nothing about her , and suddenly they would be calling to say that his father was marrying a total stranger , and having a baby . It was a lot for Finn 's son to swallow at one gulp . Hope wanted to give him time to meet her and adjust to the idea . And she had to tell Paul , and she knew it might be a blow for him at first , knowing she was with another man , and having his child . They needed time for others to get used to their plans . And summer seemed soon enough to Hope , or even fall . That gave them time to get organized too . A lot had happened in a very short time . Their relationship , a baby , and now they were planning to marry . The rapidity of it all still took her breath away . In four months , she had a whole new life . A man , a child , a house . But Finn was wonderful to her and she was sure . She was busier than ever once they bought the house . It was well into April by then , and she decided to postpone her jobs in New York in May . She didn 't want to fly before the end of her first trimester , when the baby would be solidly ensconced . She asked Mark to move all her May commitments to mid - June , and didn 't tell him why , although her bank had told him she had bought the house . " So you bought a place in Ireland , " he said with interest . " I 'll have to come over and see what you 're up to over there . How 's everything with Finn ? " " Perfect , " she said , sounding ecstatic . " I 've never been happier in my life . " He could hear it , and he was pleased for her . She had been through some very tough times , and she deserved all the happiness she had now . " See you in June . I 'll get everything worked out . Don 't worry about it . Just have fun with your castle or whatever it is . " She told him a little about the house , and he liked hearing the joy and excitement in her voice . Hope hadn 't sounded like that in years . And for the next two months , she and Finn never stopped . Hope hired a contractor and started doing the repairs the house needed so badly . They had to put a new roof on , which cost a fortune but was worth it . Windows were sealed that had leaked for fifty years . Dry rot was cut out , and she made arrangements to have the interior of the house painted while they were in Cape Cod for the summer . And she was buying antiques in shops and at auctions , to fill the house with the furniture it deserved . And every time Finn saw her , she was carrying something , dragging a box , climbing up a ladder , or stripping a paneled wall . She boxed up the books in the library so they could work on the shelves . She never stopped , and more than once Finn gave her hell and reminded her that she was pregnant . She still acted as she had when she was pregnant with Mimi , and Finn reminded her that she was no longer twenty - two years old . Sometimes Hope remembered to be careful , and the rest of the time she laughed at him and told him that she wasn 't sick . She had never felt better or been happier in her life . This was like the reward for all the sorrow that she 'd been through . She believed that Finn was the miracle that God had given her , and she said it to him all the time . " You 're a fool , " he chided her . " Something is going to happen , and it 'll be your own goddamn fault , and I 'll be pissed . That 's our baby you 're tossing around , while you work like a mule . " But it touched him too that she loved his house so much and was doing it all for him . She wanted it to be beautiful now so he 'd be proud . It was her labor of love for Finn , and so was their child . She slept fitfully that night , and stayed in bed the next morning . She said her back still hurt , and he offered to call a doctor , but she said she didn 't need one . He believed her , although she didn 't look well . He thought that she looked pale , and she was obviously in pain . He came up to check on her an hour later , and found her on the bathroom floor , in a pool of blood , barely able to crawl , as she looked up at him . He panicked when he saw her and rushed for the phone . He called for the paramedics and begged the operator to send them fast , and then returned to Hope in the bathroom . He was holding her when they arrived , and his jeans were soaked with blood . She had lost the baby and was hemorrhaging , and she lost consciousness when the paramedics picked her up and put her on a gurney to carry her out . Finn ran along beside them , praying she would live , and when she came to in the hospital hours later , after they had cleaned out her womb , Finn was staring at her with a dark look . She reached out a hand to him and he turned away and got up . She was crying and he was staring out the window , and then turned to look at her . He looked both angry and sad , and there were tears in his eyes too . He was thinking of his loss , more than hers . " You killed our baby , " he said brutally , and she broke into a sob , and she reached out to him again , but he didn 't come near her . She tried but was too weak to sit up . They had given her two transfusions to make up for the blood she 'd lost . " All that stupid lifting and carrying , look what it did . You just made it to three months , and now you fucked it all up . " He said nothing to comfort or reassure her , and Hope looked heartbroken as he raged at her . " It was a shitty thing to do , to the baby , and to me . You killed a healthy baby , Hope . " It didn 't occur to him that maybe the baby wasn 't so healthy if it hadn 't survived past that point , but there was no way to know now , and she felt bad enough . " How could you be so selfish and so dumb ? " She was sobbing , listening to him berate her , and a few minutes later , he stormed out . She lay in bed , inconsolable , thinking of everything he 'd said to her , and the nurse finally gave her a shot as she cried incoherently , and when she woke up hours later , Finn was sitting next to her again . He still looked grim , but he was holding her hand . " I 'm sorry for what I said , " he said gruffly . " I was just so disappointed . I wanted our baby so much . " She nodded and started to cry again , and this time he took her in his arms and consoled her . " It 's all right , " he said . " We 'll do it again . " She nodded and just lay in his arms and sobbed . " Even if I act like a fool sometimes , I love you , Hope . " As he said it , tears rolled down his cheeks , and hers . Hope left for New York two weeks later in June . She was thin and pale and very subdued , and she knew that Finn was still upset . He blamed her fully for the miscarriage , and insisted that only her carelessness had caused it . He refused to accept the idea that age might have been a factor , or it could have happened anyway . He never missed an opportunity to tell her that it was her fault . He kept telling her they 'd both feel better when she got pregnant again and did it right this time , which only exacerbated her own unspoken guilt . She had apologized to him a thousand times . Finn acted like she had betrayed him , and their child . She felt like a murderess every time she looked at him , and she wondered if he 'd ever forgive her . All he talked about was doing it again . And it was almost a relief to get on the plane to New York and get away from him . And she was by no means ready to do it again , or not this soon at least , if at all . He acted as though she owed it to him . But after losing Mimi , now losing this pregnancy had her in deep mourning suddenly . And she was in disgrace with Finn as well , which nearly broke her heart . She managed to finish all her assignments in New York , and had been hoping to see Paul since she hadn 't seen him in six months , which was far too long . But when she called him on his cell phone , he said he was in Germany , checking out a new treatment for Parkinson 's , and he planned to stay there for a while . She was sorry to miss him , but they promised to meet in the fall . She had lunch with Mark Webber , who thought she looked exhausted and said she was working too hard . But she insisted she was happy , and he hoped she was . But she didn 't look as happy to him as she had sounded on the phone . Finn 's harsh criticism of her when she lost the baby had hit her hard . There had been a cruelty to it that was hard to get over now . It was the first time he had been unkind to her in the six months they 'd been together , and the first time a shadow had come between them . Mark had gotten her several assignments for the fall , and she wasn 't sure if she should take them or not . If she got pregnant again , she knew that Finn wouldn 't let her fly to New York . Suddenly something that had been both an accident and a blessing had become a life - or - death project that took precedence for Finn . And for the first time , Hope felt unsure of herself . She felt profoundly guilty , and nervous about doing it again . She went to see her doctor in New York , who told her that she had to wait at least three months before trying to get pregnant again , and reminded her sensibly that she might have lost the baby anyway , even if she 'd stayed in bed . But after everything Finn had said to her , she felt responsible and depressed . She had already decided to put their wedding off till December , since now there was no rush . She was too depressed to plan their marriage . Finn arrived in New York as soon as she finished her work . He was in better spirits than when she had left him , and he was very loving to her . Hope tried to stay off the subject of the miscarriage , but he mentioned to her several times that he wanted her to see the fertility doctor in London when she went back . He didn 't want to waste any time , and he made Hope feel that she owed it to him . She was still feeling too weak and tired and depressed to argue with him and fight back , so she finally said she would . It was easier than battling about it . And they were going to be at the Cape for July and August , while Blaxton House was being painted from top to bottom . And she was sure she 'd feel better by the end of the summer , and things would look different and less depressing to her by then . She was still dealing with all the hormonal changes that came from losing a three - month pregnancy , and so much blood . Her body was still in shock . And Finn 's harsh reaction , blame , and accusations had shaken her considerably . His behavior about the miscarriage was so out of keeping with his normal , extremely loving style of the past six months . She was anxious for him to calm down again , and felt sure he would . The best thing that happened once Finn arrived was that his son Michael came down from Boston to meet them in New York for dinner , and Hope thought he was an absolutely terrific kid . He was a bright , open , friendly , well brought up , and all - around lovely boy . He had just turned twenty , and looked a lot like Finn . He teased his father repeatedly , and was fairly bold with him , but she was impressed by how well they got along . It said a lot for Finn that he had single - handedly brought up such a wonderful boy , and Hope thought it spoke well of him as a father that their relationship was so good . Hope invited Michael to the Cape , but he said he was spending the summer in California with his maternal grandparents , as he did every year . He said he had a job lined up at the San Francisco stock exchange for July and August , and he was excited about it . Spending time with him made Hope miss Mimi acutely again , and that night after he left them , Hope complimented Finn . " He 's a fabulous kid . You did a great job , " she said , and he smiled at her . For the first time , she felt as though things were beginning to repair with them . Losing the baby had been a terrible blow to them both . They hadn 't wanted to tell Michael at their first meeting they were planning to get married . She and Finn agreed to tell him when he came to Ireland in September . She was excited for him to see all the things they were doing to the house . She couldn 't wait to see them herself when they got back . And she was looking forward to having Michael with them . She wanted to get to know him better . When she and Finn got to the Cape , it was as though nothing bad had happened . He didn 't mention the miscarriage again , he stopped accusing her and making caustic remarks that made her cringe . He was as loving , kind , and gentle as ever . He was the Finn she had fallen in love with seven months before , only better . And she began to relax and feel more like herself again . She put on some weight and felt healthy , and they were together every moment . He had brought his manuscript with him , and he said the work was going well . Her only disappointment was that he refused to meet any of her friends at the Cape . She and Paul had had an open - door policy at the house , and their friends had dropped in often . Finn told her he didn 't want that happening , it disturbed his work , and he was uncomfortable meeting them whenever it happened . She took him to a Fourth of July picnic at the home of a couple she had known forever , and Finn was standoffish and unfriendly . Several people told him they loved his work , and even then he was chilly , and insisted that he and Hope leave early . When she questioned him about it the next day , he said he hated that kind of suburban summer community and had nothing in common with them . And what was the point of meeting them ? They lived in Ireland . What Hope realized increasingly was that he wanted her to himself . He complained if she went to the grocery store without him . He wanted to go everywhere with her . It was still flattering in some ways , but there were times when she found it oppressive . And he told her that he liked her Cape Cod house much better in winter than in summer , when it was peaceful and the area was deserted . Without exception , Finn had rejected all her old friends . She hardly saw them herself now that she no longer lived in Boston , and she had always loved the congenial atmosphere at the Cape , but it was clear that that was not going to be part of her life with Finn . Although he had socialized a great deal in his youth and gone out with a million women before her , once in a relationship Finn preferred to lead a quiet life with her , and have no social life whatsoever except with her . At times it left her feeling isolated . He insisted that it was more romantic that way , and he didn 't want to share her . And he was so loving to her that she really couldn 't complain . Whatever momentary rift had happened to them around the miscarriage was finally healed and forgotten by the end of the summer . Finn was totally the handsome prince again , and even if she hardly saw her friends all summer , she was relieved that she and Finn were closer than they had ever been . In the end , it was as though the sadness of the miscarriage had only brought them closer and made him more loving . And if she had to sacrifice seeing her Cape Cod friends for that , it was worth it . Her life with Finn , and the well - being of their relationship , was more important . They went back to New York after Labor Day . Finn had an important meeting with his British publisher that he had to go back to London for . Hope stayed in New York to wrap up a few last details after the summer . She had to see her banker and lawyer , and meet with her agent before she left . She was planning to be back in Ireland by the weekend , and was going to spend September there . She didn 't really have to be back in New York until November . She tried not to remember that that was when their baby would have been born . Maybe Finn was right and they would have another . Whatever God decided . She was feeling healthy again and more philosophical about it . And he hadn 't mentioned the fertility doctor again since July . When she saw Mark , he told her he had a fabulous assignment for her in South America in October , and she had to admit it sounded good to her too , but she hesitated to do it . She knew Finn would be upset , and if she happened to get pregnant again , he wouldn 't want her to fly , although her doctor said she could . She didn 't want to risk his fury again , or a miscarriage , and she looked at Mark sadly and said she didn 't think she could do it . " I just think it 's the wrong time in the relationship for me to be flying all over the world . We 're redoing the house , and Finn gets upset when I go away . " She didn 't want to tell him that she 'd recently been pregnant and might try again . " I think you 're making a big mistake , if you let him influence what assignments you take , Hope . We 're not interfering in his career , and there is no decent reason for him to interfere in yours . That 's bullshit . How about telling him you don 't want him writing a book ? You both have important talents and careers . The only way it 'll work between you two is if you both respect that . He can 't manipulate you into not working . Or if he is , you shouldn 't let him . " " I know , " she said nervously . " What can I tell you ? He 's a baby . And we 're planning to get married at the end of the year . Maybe he 'll calm down after that . " She hoped so , but for now he made her feel guilty every time she left him , even for work , although he insisted that he was proud of her , and respected what she did . It was confusing information , and a double message that made her feel unsure of herself and insecure . " Then adopt him , don 't marry him . You 'd better straighten this out very soon , or you 'll regret it later . " She nodded . She knew he was right , but it was easier said than done , and with the exception of his poor reaction to the miscarriage , no one had ever been more wonderful to her than Finn . And his unkindness over the miscarriage had been some kind of slip . She was convinced of it , and he had been better than ever in the months since . She was willing to adjust her work schedule for a while to suit him , and she already had three good assignments lined up for November , she didn 't need another one . It wasn 't worth it . So she turned it down . She had done as much for Mimi when she was young . But Mimi had been her child , not a man . Hope felt that she had already lost so many people she loved in her life that she didn 't want to take the chance of losing another . And maybe if she made Finn mad enough , as she had over the miscarriage , he would leave . She didn 't want to risk it . She saw Paul the day she left , and she had been planning to tell him about Finn , and that they were getting married , but he looked so sick that she didn 't have the heart to tell him . She had to help him feed himself , he could hardly walk now , and he had aged twenty years in the last one . She was frightened when she saw him . He said the treatment in Germany hadn 't worked for him . After that he had gone to spas , and wound up in a hospital with an infection . He was happy to be home in the States . He was on his way to Boston for treatment , and she cried on the way to the airport after she left him . It was terrible watching him slip away and he looked so frail . She was still depressed about it when she got on the plane .