All women are born equal , then some accessorize . Kelly Twilley accessorizes . She makes jewelry and sells it at Trade Day in Collinsville , Alabama . Her profile picture shows her with a beaded necklace , earrings , and two Shetland Sheepdogs . Kelly knows how to accessorize . But when I got to know her , I quickly learned that her dogs were not an accessory . Her dogs were rescued from a puppy mill . In February of 2008 Kelly heard that her local SPCA had a male Sheltie that was in pretty rough shape . Kelly wanted a female but went to see him anyway . When she got there she learned that the Sheltie was rescued from a puppy mill along with 130 other dogs . It took her ten minutes to catch him , but when she did , it took only a few seconds for him to fall asleep in her arms . Kelly took him home and named him Bailey . About two years later , I set up an agility field in Dogtown , AL and started giving lessons . Kelly brought her Border Collie , Emma . After class I was talking to the group about the work I was doing teaching agility to reactive and fearful dogs . Agility gave the owners ' and their dogs the confidence to go for walks and socialize . Kelly told me Bailey 's story and how he was still of fearful new people and situations . I said , " let 's give it a try " . The following week Kelly and Bailey had a private lesson . He was afraid of everything . Just walking through the gate to get onto the field was a challenge . Bailey quickly found a safe spot in the tunnel . Each time he got scared , he would go in and not come out . Bailey 's most difficult obstacle was the dog walk . We started slowly by putting him on the contact zone of the descending plank and let him run down . Each week we moved him further back , closer to the top of the ascending plank . When he did not progress as quickly as Emma , I reminded Kelly that the work we were doing was not about agility , it was about building confidence . Once Bailey gained confidence on the agility field he would be more confident in other situations . Then one week he surprised Kelly by jumping into the car to come to agility class . Soon Bailey was running all the way through the tunnel and over the dog walk . Then he started greeting people and letting friends and family pet him and hold him . Kelly 's self - esteem grew , she was ready to rescue another puppy mill Sheltie . Kelly searched PetFinder and found a 5 - year - old female in a Sheltie rescue just three hours from home . After a four long weeks of filling out applications , phone interviews and waiting , Molly was hers . Kelly said , " I had no idea what bad shape a dog can be in until I met Molly " . She set up a kennel in the front yard under a shade tree for her . Molly spent her first weeks there ; she escaped 3 times . Kelly started her in agility . As soon as Kelly put Molly down on the agility field she ran away . Before we could teacher her anything , Molly needed to feel safe , she didn 't trust anyone yet so we taught her to come to a spot , the table . Kelly put food on the table and we waited . Molly came and went . Kelly put more food on the table and we waited . Molly came and went . After each repetition the time between recalls got shorter and Kelly 's patience grew longer . When Kelly got home , she put a dog bed just outside the patio door . Then she used the same technique and taught Molly to come to that spot . Soon Kelly felt safe enough to let Molly out of her kennel . Molly now spends most of her time in her spot by the door watching for squirrels to chase away . Bailey and Molly will never compete at an agility trial . Their trial happens everyday . They struggle to conquer their fears and to love and trust people . Although Kelly admits she had no idea what she was getting into when she adopted a puppy mill rescue , she says she is more confident and more patient than she ever was before . She is now designing jewelry based on the collar Molly was wearing when she got her . I talk a lot , but I don 't say much . I am actually pretty shy . Keeping secrets is a shortcoming . Not secrets about you , secrets about myself . Many people , even those closest to me , do not know very much about me . They are often surprised to find out even seemingly ordinary things about me . But there are people , those I know and those I have never met personally , who tell me my secrets . These short stories are about some of those people . She only stands shoulder high , but her presence is undeniable . When she smiles her teeth mash together as she crinkles her nose . It was impossible to avoid eye contact when she talks . She is my aunt . Memphis had a tough start to life . He was aggressive , and I could not control him . I came very close to putting him to rest . When he was only a few months old , he would go from sleeping peacefully in my lap to violently attaching the other dogs , Boston in particular . To manage his behavior and to keep the other dogs safe , I strategically placed baby gates , crates and air horns throughout the house . At the time , trying to manage the situation was all I could do , while I uncovered the cause of the behavior and to modify it . I used special collars and leashes , changed his food , gave him supplements and adhered to strict rules and routines . I would not let any of the other dogs stare at him ; they learned to look away and not make eye contact . Things improved , but there were still fights . When Memphis would get into a fight , my first concern was always safety . I didn 't want anyone to get hurt . My second concern was all of the dogs ' emotional states . I worried that Memphis was insane and that it was affecting the other dogs . They all learned to be cautious around him , but were they scared and unhappy too ? My mother liked to play bingo . This was the only time she ever went to church . Every Tuesday , she would ask one of us in the house to go with her . The answer was always no , but she went anyway . Bingo was for old people , it couldn 't be much fun . One week she couldn 't drive , I don 't remember why ; but I agreed to take her . I was nervous , not knowing what to expect . When we arrived at the church , we stood in line , waiting for the doors to open . It was important to get there early , so she could get her " usual seat . " The desk in the hall had piles of bingo cards on it . People bought a hundred of them . My mother got her cards , and I began to sweat . " I 'm with her , " I said . " I 'm just going to watch . " I followed my mother down the long hall into a huge room full of tables and chairs . We sat down in her usual spot . She spread out some of her cards . They were made of newsprint , so she took some tape out of her bag and taped them to the table . In her bag was also two plastic bottles of ink , a bright red wand with a magnet in it , lots of red translucent markers , and cash . She took one of the bottles of ink and dabbed the free , center square of the nine cards in front of her , then placed the bottle down . She was ready . Memphis had not gotten into a fight in almost four months . Then one night , Memphis and I were sleeping and I rolled over onto him and woke him . He instantly stood up on the bed , looked me straight in the eyes and froze . I was sure he was going to kill me , so I was quietly making a plan to defend myself . Then , just as suddenly as he 'd stood , he looked away , shook , jumped down off the bed , circled a few times , then got back on the bed , laid down and went back to sleep . He shook it off and was now sleeping ! I could not close my eyes . This was the moment when I knew he was better , this was the moment I saw him look away . " N32 . . . B14 . . . G50 . " The man calling the numbers was on a stage with a round basket next to him , and a large sign with numbers and letters above him . The sign would light up each time he spoke . " B1 ! " Everyone in the room swiped their bottles down the B column and dabbed the corresponding square on their bingo cards . No one spoke . Their gaze was on the cards and their ears alert for one word . " Only a few people know this : my husband is a recovering alcoholic . He has been sober for three years . It was hard for him to stop drinking , but he did it . We are still adjusting to our new life . " That conversation happened at a dog - training center . We were talking about Virginia , when she was about two years old . I was taking a class to prepare her for her Canine Good Citizen Certificate ( CGC ) . She did not approach strangers , she was uncomfortable when anyone pet her , and no one was allowed to touch her feet . I just accepted that she was shy ; I did not imagine it could be the result of a medical condition . After a few weeks of have having every person I saw pet her , touch her feet , and give her a treat , I made a vet appointment . Virginia learned to tolerate the attention , but was still never as accepting as a Golden Retriever should be . " The dog trainer ? Oh , . . . there is no need to test her thyroid . If she had a thyroid problem , her coat would be thinner she would have dry skin , and be overweight . Virginia is healthy . She is just shy . Some dogs are shy , even Golden Retrievers . " Most people think I am outgoing , because I talk a lot and I have no trouble talking to strangers . I am equally comfortable instructing a small group of adults and a gymnasium full of elementary students . I do , however , have a problem making friends and forming long - term relationships . I have only a few close friends . Typically , I only contact them when things are going well . When I hit a rough patch , I keep to myself . The friends who know me best know exactly how long to leave me alone , until they call or visit to bring me back to life . When I met Bob , we were working together in Charleston , South Carolina . The company was recruiting people from all over the country to build a " World Class Manufacturing Plant . " The first time he saw me , he told his friend , " Now , that 's trouble . " At the time , I was married to someone else , so I said no the first time he asked me out . The next time he asked , I said yes . My husband was still living in Indiana , and it was becoming clear he was not planning on moving . I was also realizing that I ran away from him , as much as I went to a new job . When it came to fight or flight , I always chose flight . Not long after that first date with Bob , my life changed dramatically . I divorced my husband , moved in with Bob , got laid off from work , found a new job , and moved to Nashville . During the time we were separated , Bob held our relationship together . On several occasions , I said I could not handle a long - distance relationship and I wanted him to let me go . He is a fighter . He fought to keep his job and me . Bob was the last one out of the building , when the plant closed 18 months later . He got a job with the new owners in Milwaukee , Wisconsin , and convinced me to come with him . We got married 5 months later . Bob and I stayed in Wisconsin from New Year 's Day to Valentine 's Day three years later , before moving to the Chattanooga area to build a manufacturing business . We were working together again and I was happy , really happy , for 12 years . Virginia did not pass her CGC ; she failed , not on the touching tests , but on the separation test . She did not like being left with Natalie for three minutes without me . She pulled , barked and lunged on the leash to get to me across the training building . I was not upset we failed ; she wanted to be with me , and that meant more to me than a certificate . After the test , Natalie recommended Virginia and I take her obedience class , saying that it would help socialize her . So we did . On the first night of class , a small , mixed breed dog leaned into her and growled . Virginia fled under a table . Then the dog blocked the entry into the training ring . The dog 's owner did nothing to manage his dog , so I picked up Virginia and carried her over the threshold . I thought , " What are you correcting me for . The owner of the other dog did nothing when his dog chased her away . That dog and owner need to learn how to behave around other dogs . In the meantime , I am going to protect Virginia . " I later learned that picking her up was the wrong thing to do , but for a different reason . Picking a dog up like that makes the dog and the person the target for attack . That did not happen . Virginia was safe , which was all that mattered . I have been teased and made fun of my whole life , and there were many times when I wished someone would pick me up and carry me to safety . I didn 't pick her up anymore , but I did get her out of harm 's way every time she was threatened . Three years ago , life took another turn . The owner of Bob 's business sold it to some bankers . The workplace was becoming hostile and he did not want me to get hurt ; so Bob fired me . For the first time , Bob started losing his grip on his work and his life . So , Bob stopped drinking . He withdrew into his work and his program . While he was holding on to his job and his sobriety , I was holding on to him . Then Virginia got cancer and died . I felt so alone , I wanted to jump into the grave with her . I cried for months . I still cry . Many of my friends believe I am having such a hard time with Virginia 's death , because I am mourning two losses : Virginia and my marriage . Now my mother is dead . Friends are asking how long I will stay with Bob . He is hardly ever home and when he is , he barely talks to me . He spends all of his time at work or at meetings . They say , " It 's been 3 years of grief and it may be time to move on . " They are right . It is time to move on , I need to quit grieving not my marriage . All my life , I have run away from my problems . This time I want to stay . I am feeling better . Wisconsin is beginning to fill the space that Virginia once held . She has brought play and joy back into the house , into my life . I don 't feel alone anymore . My mother is with me all the time now . We are no longer separated by time and distance . Bob is working hard to make a good life for us . What I need to do is stop pulling against the leash . He can 't pick me up ; but if I wait , he will come to me . Barking and lunging will not bring him closer . I am moving on . I am done grieving for my past , and I am staying right here . This time , I will not flee . I will fight . My mother just died suddenly . Ma and Dad were on a cruise when she had cardiac arrest . They were in South America at the time . After having a good day together , they went to their cabin to take a nap . She woke up coughing and died moments later . It took one week for my father to get home . It took an additional week for my mother to arrive . I made the trip to my family 's house in nineteen hours . I had two of my dogs with me . My parents each traveled alone . While at my father 's house , I let the dogs out into the side yard to take care of their business and to play . I was on the phone making arrangements for my mother 's services . When I came back , they were gone . I called them but they did not come . I ran in the house to tell my father , and then ran out to the street to start looking for them . I asked everyone I saw if they had seen them . I explained , they did not live here ; they did not know how to get home . Some of the neighbors did see them . One said they went up the street , the other said they saw them going down the same street . The man who lives on the corner directly behind my father said they were playing in his yard , then ran off " in that direction , " as he pointed toward the golf course . It took two weeks for my mother to come home . The cruise line and the insurance company arranged everything . My brother and sister - in - law were in constant contact with them , making decisions about the details of her processing and her trip home . Her passport was with her , along with documentation from the ship describing her medical condition and treatment prior to her death . Two death certificates were prepared , one in Spanish and one in English . The English version was with her when she arrived in Boston , along with customs documents and a bag of black sand . It was a Friday night when the plane landed . A car from the funeral home was there to get her . She was home . When my dogs were gone for over an hour without being seen , I began to worry . Where could they have gone ? They must have wandered beyond the neighborhood . There is a golf course very close to my father 's house . Several of his neighbors told me , when their dogs ran off , that is where they would go . We contacted the clubhouse and asked them to call us if the dogs showed up there . When the call came , my brother and I rushed to get there . One dog , Boston , was playing in the pond and in the woods . When we grabbed him and leashed him , he was not the least concerned that he did not know where he was or that I was worried about him . He knew I would find him and bring him home , just as I did each time he 'd run off in the past . The groundskeeper who found Boston drove me around in a golf cart to look for Memphis . Then my family converged on the golf course to look . He was not there . My parents bought their plot and marker several years ago . The plot was in the same cemetery as their friends . The area they chose was new . It had just been cleared of trees . On the day we went to the cemetery to make the arrangements , we learned that we had to pick out a plot . " I thought we had a plot , " my father said . " " No , you picked out the area . Now you have to pick the exact plot " . To help him understand this , I told him , " Dad , you picked out the neighborhood , now you have to pick the house " . He chose a spot close to a water fountain and a stone bench . When the trees mature , there will be lots of shade . We continued to look for Memphis . I showed everyone I saw a picture of him on my cell phone . I gave them my business card and asked them to call if they saw him . My nieces and nephews joined the search . They rode their bikes around the neighborhood . My sister drove her car up and down the streets . We all whistled and called his name . When darkness approached , we went back to my father 's house in despair . We all knew Memphis would be spending the night outside . Everyone went home and it was just my father and I . He felt awful about Memphis being lost . I felt awful that he felt awful . He had lost his wife . I 'd lost a dog . It is not the same . I did not sleep that night . In the morning , I was out looking for him as soon as the sun came out . I went beyond the neighborhood to places I did not go the day before . By now , everyone in the neighborhood knew what he looked like and how to contact me . I was at least ten miles away from my father 's house when Bob called . He told me someone had found Memphis . The story is , when some local person let their dog in , Memphis came into the house , too . When Memphis finally stopped circling their kitchen island , they got Bob 's name and phone number from the plate on his collar . I rushed to the address Bob gave me , which was less than a mile away from my father 's house . When I arrived , I was overwhelmed with emotion , and so glad to see him . Memphis was indifferent . He knew I would find him , just as I had done before . The wake was at the funeral home where my parents have been too many times before . The funeral was in the Catholic church where we were confirmed and where my sister and two of my brothers were married . It was nice . After the service , we drove my mother to her final resting spot near the fountain and stone bench . She is close to where my father lives and very near their friends . I stayed at my father 's house a few more weeks to help him adjust . Bob brought Carolina and Wisconsin with him , when he came for my mother 's services . When he left , he took Boston , Memphis and Wisconsin with him . Carolina stayed with me . We slept in the room down the hall from the room I grew up in . My old room was now my mother 's craft room . It is full of needlework , yarn and fabric . This is also where she kept her computer and paperwork . Each day , I sorted through these things and kept my father company . When it was time , I packed up my belongings and some of my mother 's , and loaded them in the car . I had a nineteen - hour drive . I didn 't have a passport or a collar that could help me get to where I was going . I was not in the neighborhood , close to my family . I did not know how to get home . There was nobody making travel arrangements for me . There was no one looking for me . I did not know the neighborhood or the house where I belonged . All I knew for sure was I wanted to be with my father , with my family . I wanted to be in my old room . Or in my mother 's room . I envy my mother . She was never lost ; she always knew where home was . She is home now . She is in a different house , but in the same neighborhood .