THE DAY after I returned from taking a party of eight up to Sanford on the Saint John 's River , I sat around on the dock drinking from a bottle of rum . Not that I like rum - I don 't . But it 's cheap and you can get stoned on it as quickly as you can get stoned on anything . In the distance I could see Key West and smell the ocean and once in a while I looked at The Shark . The Shark is my cabin - cruiser - pure white , about fifty feet long , it sleeps eight comfortably and ten with a little crowding . It 's got plenty of guts ; those two inboards will deliver about twenty - five hundred horsepower . For its size it 's one of the best boats along the Keys ; anybody will tell you that . It 's trim from one end to the other , rides low in the water and I 've kept it in good shape . In fact , when you get right down to it , it 's the one thing I ever kept in good shape . There was a time when my marriage to Rose had been like the cruiser , sleek and sharp , but that had ended when she ran off with my brother , Howard . All that was left from the marriage was the boat , and for two years that had been enough . I made a living hauling fishermen and doing as little as possible ; when I wasn 't doing that , I was drinking as much as possible . It was a road that didn 't lead much of any place but at twenty - six I had plenty of time to get my feet on the ground . A motorboat went by and I recognized the fellow as a guy who made his living catching crawfish , more commonly known in Florida as Florida lobsters . I could have done the same thing but maybe I was a little lazy and I didn 't see much purpose in so much work . I did all right with the fishermen and sightseeing parties and I didn 't need any more than that . As I said , rum is cheap and when you live alone you don 't eat yourself broke . I drank some more rum and lay down on the dock , feeling the bare boards against my belly and the hot sun burning in at my naked back . I would go to sleep after a while and after I came to I would have some more rum and maybe a steak . I had picked up a nice chunk of change for my trip up the river and for the first time in more than two months I could afford a girl in town . You don 't read about the girls in Key West in the advertising literature from the chamber of commerce , but they are there and they charge you plenty . If you 're lucky and you hunt , you can go it all night for fifty bucks , plus the drinks and plus the room , which runs it up to about seventy - five . The last time out it had cost me a hundred and the girl hadn 't been worth it . She wouldn 't be worth five bucks on a deserted island . I rolled over , this time the sun in my face , and stared up at the blue sky . It was a hell of a life , I decided ; a stinking life . You married one girl , thought she was everything you had ever looked for , and she was nothing but a tramp . You had a brother , a guy you gave money to , and while you were busy making money in real estate , they were busy making something else . You walked in one day and caught them and they laughed at you . It was hell . I sat up , knowing that I couldn 't go to sleep , and reached for the jug of rum . Every time I closed my eyes I saw her dark loveliness , saw her smile , and it made me sick . Where were they now ? I didn 't know . She had gotten a Florida divorce and they had gone north . He didn 't know anything except carpentry and she didn 't know anything but hopping tables so I supposed that 's what they were doing . Because he was my brother , I wished him better luck with her than I had had . I didn 't , however , think he would have it . She would find somebody else soon and would start going from man to man . No , never enough , never enough of anything . Never enough of sex and never enough of money . Never enough of fancy clothes , parties , and liquor . And never enough of something else - men . I had another drink from the bottle and thought of throwing the rum into the ocean . After two years she was still getting me down , and it didn 't make sense . I had been caught up with a slight shortage at Morgan Real Estate , trying to keep up with her spending , but I had straightened that out and I ought to be able to find a spot . Florida real estate was booming and anybody in the right slot could make a fortune . I had done it with Morgan and spent most of it on the boat , in addition to a split - level house that had gone back to the bank . Some of the land I owned had been converted into cash and this had gone to Morgan . Since that time I had been bumming , but I was now clean and I didn 't have to any longer . I rolled over on my back , and stared up at the house . It was a big place , rambling and in need of paint and the grass was high in the front yard . I had promised Frank Stearns I would cut the grass with a scythe but I didn 't know how to use a scythe and I had never gotten next to the job . Frank was away most of the time , out after sea turtles which he sold in Key West , and only his daughter was around . Betty kept the house clean , took care of the rentals for the dock , and wrote to some guy in New York every day . She had quit college after her mother died in order to be with her father , and this New York fellow had been a senior or something . A month or so before , just after I started using the dock , he was supposed to come down for a few days but he couldn 't get the plane fare and he hadn 't made it . I closed my eyes to forget about Betty Stearns and tried to shut out the memory of Rose . But she was there , and every bottle of nun brought her back . Every drink of rum put her in my arms . I didn 't look up right away . I knew who it was . Betty Stearns . She had a habit of sneaking up on me , barefooted , and she had a way of saying my name that seemed to give it some meaning . I knew what she would look like , what she always looked like . She never wore anything but a bathing suit , a one - piece black affair that barely covered her . She often came down to the dock and sat with her legs hanging over the side and talked . She was beautiful , far more lovely than Rose had been , and more than once I had thought of her the way a man should think about a woman . But I had given up the idea . Frank Stearns would kill the first man who touched his daughter without putting a wedding band on her finger and , on top of that , he didn 't think much of me for not working any harder than I did . She was standing there close to me , her legs brown and long and rather far apart . The black suit cut into her thighs , making twin ridges , and clung to her flat little stomach . Up above she wasn 't so flat and she wasn 't so little . She had white blonde hair , lighter than mine , and it dropped down to her shoulders . Her eyes were blue , about like my own , and her red lips had the sensual pout you see on some girlie magazine covers . When I looked at her I thought of just one thing and I was glad I had a few extra bucks so I could go into Key West and kill the urge . " You 're like your father , " I said . " Preaching . What difference does it make what I do as long as I pay the dock fee ? " " Anybody that I like . My father likes you and so do I . Don 't laugh . You 're not used to people liking you but we do . You mind your own business and your money is always on the line . It isn 't that . It 's just that you could do so much more that you aren 't doing . You 've got one of the best boats in the Keys and it sits here . " She uncrossed her legs and lay down on the dock , one arm shielding her eyes against the sun . I was near her , very near , and I could smell the cleanness of her . She took a deep breath and those breasts of hers rose up high and proud . I forgot about Mr . Gordon right away . " That 's all the way up to Miami , " I said . " He know how much a trip like that would cost ? " " He didn 't ask and I didn 't say . He had a big car and he looked as though he could afford almost anything . " She paused . " His daughter was with him , too . " " He said it was his daughter but they didn 't look alike . He 's in his fifties , I guess , with dark hair and dark eyes , and she 's as blonde as I am . " She paused again . " She 's also got the shape of a chorus girl . " I knew what she meant . You get all kinds . They come as father and daughter and they 've got as much interest in fishing as I have in diving for pearls . The only thing they want is some place where they can be alone . I never argue with that kind . They pay their fee , I take them out to the fishing area and if they don 't fish they do something else . " Oh , I don 't know , " she told me . " It 's better to find out now than later . Once you 're married and you have kids the door is locked . " She was wrong about that but there was no reason to tell her so . My father and mother were divorced when I was eight and after the death of my mother three years later , an aunt , also now dead , had brought me up . I didn 't know where my father was but he had gone off with a young girl from his office and she had a baby , either by him or somebody else . The last I knew of him he was in Georgia barely making a living selling some kind of junk from door to door . I didn 't know if the girl were still with him or if he were alone but my guess was that he was alone . A girl who will run off with one man will run off with another . She shook her head . " Father doesn 't believe in girls drinking . He says a girl is apt to do things she shouldn 't when she drinks . " Another motorboat went by and the man waved . We waved back . I didn 't know what he was doing but I suspected it was something worthwhile and that was more than I could say for myself . " Tight is no word for it . It 's a third skin . Every afternoon when I 'm in you come down here and you can 't be so innocent that you don 't know how I feel . " I pushed the bottle aside and moved closer to her . I could almost feel the heat from her body , almost taste her lips . It was wrong , all wrong , but in that second I didn 't care . For weeks I had been seeing her , secretly wanting her , and for weeks I had been afraid . But I was afraid no longer . " Don 't , Clint . " But she couldn 't get away from me , couldn 't stop me . I had my arms around her , pulling her in tight , and my lips over her mouth . I heard another motorboat but I didn 't pay any attention to it . The owner of the boat could go to hell . Everything could go to hell . " Don 't tell me you didn 't expect this , " I said . " Don 't tell me you didn 't know that this would happen . Every day you come down here and every day I see you this same way . I 'm a man . I 'm human . What did you think would come of it ? " " I don 't know how long but almost from the first . I have another suit , Clint . I didn 't wear it . I wanted you to want me just as you want me now . " " It doesn 't go for us . That 's why I want you to be different , to be somebody . You 've been hurt , I know you have , but everybody is hurt once in a while . You have to face it and conquer it and find something better . " She pulled away from me and in a moment she stood before me , her suit in a heap on the floor . I had never seen anything like her before . Her breasts were ripe and swollen , her tummy hardly any tummy at all , her thighs and hips rounded and generous . She moved in against my body and kissed me , her mouth open and hot . She was wild , wild . I felt on fire , and as her hands roamed over my body I almost went blind . Holding her to me , I half - carried , half - pushed her to the bunk . I found the bottle of rum and drank some . Now that it was finished I felt slightly ashamed of what I had done . She was too nice a girl to be shoved around . And what had I promised her ? That I would work ? Something like that but nothing beyond . She had talked of marriage ; I had kept my mouth shut . She had said that when you did what we had done you ought to think in terms of it being for keeps . Maybe she was right , but if men married all of the girls they went to bed with bigamy would be the nation 's number one crime . I emptied the bottle , thought of getting another one from the boat and continued to sit in the sun . Several boats moved along the shore toward Key West but one of them put in to shore . It was Frank Stearns and after he tied up at the dock he came down to where I was . He thought about it for a moment . " Maybe you 're right , " he said . " The bank promised me a loan on the boat and today they turned me down . Said the boat wasn 't worth the risk . " It wasn 't but I didn 't tell him so . He knew as much about it as I did and he knew it was a piece of junk . Compared to The Shark it looked like a scow that had gone over a waterfall . " It 's different with you , " he said . " You 're single and you don 't have anything to worry about . Me , I 've got this property and when Betty was in college I took out a mortgage on it . You know how the turtle business has been - not good . I got behind on the payments and now they want to foreclose . " He left me , walked along the dock , and my glance followed him . I had a few hundred , not much , but if it would help he could have it . In the two months I had been at his place I had come to like him . I grinned . Besides , I wouldn 't have to waste any money in Key West on some dame with dollar signs in her eyes . I had all I could take care of now - and more . I was still thinking about fixing a steak when a new Imperial pulled up and stopped in front of the house . The man who got out had dark hair and he was big , not just tall but big around . I guessed him to weigh about two - fifty and as he came toward me down the dock I noticed he walked with a slight limp . It didn 't bother him any . He just kept right on blowing smoke in my face . I found a cigarette , struck a match on the dry boards and did the same thing to him . He stopped the smoke business and so did I ; it was silly . I wasn 't looking at him but at the house and Betty came out on the porch . I remembered how she had been down in the cabin and I wanted her again . At the moment I didn 't care if this Cordon fell off the dock and drowned . " I see . " My own cigarette went into the water and another fish made a pass at it . I yawned and looked toward the house again . " Thanks for nothing , " I said . " If you 're not wanted in Cuba you 're not wanted in Cuba . Who am I to put you ashore ? " " Not exactly . I want to get there and I 'm willing to pay for it . You could sit around here for a year and not make that much money . " " Because there 's something wrong with it . It stinks , if you don 't mind my saying so . Five thousand is too much for a jaunt to Cuba . I could get in all sorts of trouble on a deal like that . " The steak was pretty good but I didn 't eat much of it . I kept thinking of that fellow Gordon and his five thousand bucks . Five thousand was a lot of bucks . Maybe I was a sucker to have refused him . Five thousand would buy a lot of rum and a lot of leisure . I could find some dolly who was lonesome and take a run up the coast . In Florida you can always find some lonely girl in one of the bars or on the beaches . Some of them come down from the north , looking for big money that they don 't find . They work in the hotels and the clubs and some of them are knockouts . They don 't charge you anything and they give you everything they 've got . It 's a nice arrangement . I thought of going topside and getting a little more sun but settled on a - second bottle of rum . I sat in the galley , drinking the rum and looking around . The Shark was tight and compact and it could go like the hammers of hell . It may not have been the best boat along the Keys but it was one of the best and that was good enough for me . I could go any place with it any time and when I asked for power from the twin engines it was always there . I walked out to the ladder just as she started down . She had put on a dress and heels . As she descended the ladder I saw more of her legs than the law allows even a traveling salesman . She followed me into the galley and we sat down at the table . The dress was square and low in front and I could see part of her cleavage . Mentally , I ripped the dress off of her and put it back on . Then I ripped it off again and left it that way . " He wouldn 't understand and I couldn 't tell him that . " Her eyes clouded . " This about the place has got him upset and it 's got me upset , too . He mortgaged it to send me to college and I haven 't done a thing to pay him back . " " I feel it is . If I had known - but he never said anything about it until tonight . Seven hundred dollars is a lot of money , Clint . Seven hundred dollars is an awful lot of money to be behind . " I wondered how the bank had allowed him to get so far in arrears but I decided they had been gambling with him that it would be a good season . Actually , it hadn 't been a good season . The Shark was the only boat at the dock in addition to his own , and what he got from me wouldn 't put a dent in his debt . " Seldom , " I agreed . " You 're forgetting the river jaunt , though . I got a nice chunk of dough for it and I 've still got it . Less the cost of four bottles of rum , " I amended . " That was cheap . " " I used to have some truck with them , " I said . " When I was in the real estate business I put some loans through there . I could talk to them . " We had a couple of drinks and I knew there was something on her mind . I wasn 't sure just what it was but I had a pretty good idea . When we got to the third drink she found the coinage to talk . " It started the day you came here and it never stopped . I told you I used to write to that boy in New York but I didn 't . Maybe that 's why he found somebody else . " She was a sweet kid , and I didn 't deserve her . What did I have ? All I had was a boat and the memory of a girl who was no good . " No , I wouldn 't want that . I never want you to he to me , Clint . I 've told you the truth and I want you to do the same for me . " I pushed her to the bunk , and her body came to me , alive and filled with fury . We stay there , kissing , murmuring words to each other , crazy words , sounds that made no sense , holding the beauty of it off as long as we could . It came slowly , with deliberate impact , driving us both wild with the wanting . And when it happened it was the most wonderful moment of life , a moment of insane beauty and heavenly desire . " A couple of years ago it was different , " the credit manager told me . " Two years ago you were responsible , but that seems to have changed . What have you been doing with yourself ? " Outside the bank I hailed a cab and I told the driver to take me back to the dock . It was still early in the day , not yet noon , and I debated about stopping off for some rum . But I still had two bottles on the boat and if I got any fishermen I had to be sober . Most of the jobs come out of Key West but once in a while a party wants a boat that is big and fast and then they come looking for me . Actually , I could have done better somewhere else but I liked it at the Stearns ' place and I wasn 't starving to death . I wasn 't starving to death in more ways than one . That Betty was as hot as they came , even when she was afraid , and she had all of the equipment to go with it . I changed my direction and moved back toward the house . Betty was standing on the porch . She was wearing that black bathing suit and it seemed to cover less than it had the day before . " In town - in one of the restaurants . The girls do well on that kind of work and I 'll have some money to help my father . If I can work and put what I make toward the loan we ought to get caught up . " She had a cab come out for her around one o ' clock and I spent the day washing the boat down . About three I had a party of four show up but they were cheap and we couldn 't agree on my terms . They drove away , boiling mad . My back was to the house and I didn 't hear the car come up and stop . The first indication I had of anybody else present was the sound of hard heels beating on the dry pine planks . I turned my head and looked and almost fell into the water . I was going to get up but she sat down . When she put her legs over the side I got a good look at them . They were long and brown and had the shape of something you see in a stocking ad . Five thousand was a lot . Too much . But - well , it was tempting . With five thousand I could help out Frank Stearns - just why I wanted to help him I didn 't know - and I could run over to Mexico . An American dollar goes a long way in Mexico . You can get three quarts of beer for fifty cents and steak runs you about a quarter a pound . Dock rent would be cheap and the women would be just as cheap . I don 't know how it happened . I had walked away from her and toward the boat , and then I heard the splash . I swung around fast and saw that she wasn 't there . She closed the door and locked it and I entered the galley . There was one bottle of rum that hadn 't been opened and I found it . I opened the bottle , poured out two drinks and sat down . " Say , what is this ? " I demanded hotly . " Who 's asking who what ? The girl sits on the dock , falls in the water and I help her out . What 's so wrong about that ? " I scuffed my feet on the rough planks . I could see what marriage would be like with her ; she wouldn 't trust me any farther than she could throw me . She wouldn 't trust me any farther than I had trusted Rose and that just wasn 't good . " That 's one way of changing the subject . " She tilted her head and I got a good look at her throat line . " Yes , I got a job . I start in the morning . Eight to five . " " What else do you want me to say ? I tell you the truth and you don 't believe me . Don 't you think a guy gets tired of that ? " " I recognized the car , " she said , turning away . " You wouldn 't get tired of it not with that . Not with her . I saw her yesterday and I know what she 's like . " I watched her go . I felt sorry for her , sorry for myself , but what could I do ? She had her mind made up and that was that . She had tied the robe in the middle but it had loosened a little . What I saw gave me the idea that this might not be so bad , after all . I poured a drink of the rum , my belly on fire , and sat down at the table . She stood up and leaned over the table . What I saw was enough to drive a sane man out of his mind . This girl had been put together with one mold , just one , and afterward they had thrown the thing away . I had been to nightclubs and stag shows and I had never seen anything like it . This girl dripped sex all over the place , like a leaky faucet . We killed off the bottle and I went topside to get the one from the dock . It still had a little in it not much , but it was better than nothing . On the way back I felt of her dress . It was almost dry so I took it along with me . But I didn 't think about Cuba while she was gone - I thought about her . I thought about how she was built and the sultry curve of her lips and her blonde hair . I also tried to think about Betty . She had no business blowing up that way . She was back in a couple of minutes and the dress looked tighter than before . As she came in she was buttoning the top button . I remembered , vaguely , that it hadn 't been buttoned before . She didn 't stay long after that and I walked with her to the car . She told me she would drive in for me but I told her that I would walk , that I wanted to walk . Walking would be good for me ; it would give me a chance to consider this whole situation . I TOOK a nap for about an hour and when I woke up I counted my money . I had two hundred and forty - two dollars , not counting the change . That meant I was two hundred and forty - two dollars better off than I had been with Rose . The Stearns ' boat was alongside , lifting and falling in the water . I glanced toward the house and ht a cigarette . There was nothing to do , and if I went into town so early I would only wind up in some bar and get half crocked . I lay down , feeling the late sun on my skin , and continued to smoke . Five thousand dollars was a lot of money , but there was more to it than that . First , Gordon wanted to be landed along the shore , and second , there was that stuff he wanted to take along with him . It added up to more than five thousand dollars . It added up to a headache . I don 't know how long I lay there but it was dusk when I got up . I ht another cigarette , walked across the dock and started down the road . Betty was waiting for me . " Yes , there is . I acted as though I owned you . I don 't . I saw that car and the dress and I saw red . Forgive me ? " " I 'm sorry , " she said . " I keep telling myself not to be angry and I can 't help it . " Once again her eyes sought out my face . " It 's just that I love you so darned much , Clint . I don 't want to lose you to anybody . " " Look , " I said , trying to be patient . " You know what I am , you know how I live . What 's there in it for you ? " " I need your love , " she said finally . " I need it , Clint . I 'm scared for my father and I 'm scared for myself . I think of us without this place and what he would do and I feel lost . " " I don 't want a job . Don 't you see ? I don 't want one . I want to be a woman and live like a woman . I want to do the things a woman is supposed to do . " " Getting pregnant , " she said . " Isn 't that what a woman is intended for ? To have children ? To have babies and a husband and some sense of security ? " " You make me feel cheap , " she said , turning away . " You make me feel so cheap I could drown myself . One minute I 'm afraid and the next minute I want you so badly that I can 't think . " Her laughter was uneven and tormented . " Isn 't that what you wanted ? Didn 't you want somebody nearby so that you wouldn 't have to go in to town ? " She was crying again when I left her but there wasn 't anything I could do about it . She was just a kid off on the wrong foot and she would have to find the way by herself . I had made love to her and now she thought she owned me . Tough . The road curved away from the ocean and it was dark in the woods . I tried to forget about her , tried to think of that five thousand dollars , but I couldn 't forget . She was a nice girl , better than Rose had been , better than any of them had ever been . Why couldn 't I see it ? Why couldn 't I understand it ? I walked along the road , kicking at the loose stones , and in that instant I hated myself . I should have left her alone . I shouldn 't have had anything to do with her . She was looking for marriage and I wasn 't . It was as simple as that . They came from behind , two of them , and I didn 't have a chance . They were big men , both of them , and the one guy had something in his hand . It may have been a stick or a stone but whatever it was it hint like fury when he hit me over the head with it . I was down on my knees and trying to get up , but the thing kept banging me on the head and my whole world became an orbit of pain . Somebody kicked me in the ribs , once , twice , and I sucked in air . The air flamed against my lungs and I let it out in a feeble curse . I got up , staggering , and continued along the road . There were three or four big lumps cm my head and they hurt when I touched them . My ribs were sore and from the way my stomach felt one of the men must have kicked me there , too . My wallet was still in my pocket but when I searched inside of it I discovered that my money was gone . I was broke . Flat . I didn 't even have enough change to buy a quart of rum . " Nonsense , " she said . " I 've got a room and we can have dinner sent up there . I wanted to buy in the first place , didn 't I ? " The steaks were good and we talked as we ate . She was twenty - four , her father was retired and her mother was dead . She had lived in New York and Boston but she liked Florida best . It was an invitation , the open door , but I didn 't grab it right away . There was something off - balance here , something that wasn 't straight , but I didn 't know what it was . She had the looks and the figure to have had any of a dozen men and she had picked on me . While she was gone I drank one of the drinks and tried to get myself straightened out . On twenty or twenty - five grand I could live like a king . But what did I have to do for it ? Run guns ? It sounded plausible . They were always fighting in Cuba and he had said the stuff would be heavy . " If I know you , I need only one guess . " I started out of the room and past the bed , but that was as far as I got . She caught one of my hands and pulled me toward her . I DIDN ' T wake up until noon the next day and I had a fierce headache . As soon as I got out of bed and could find the bottle I gulped down a couple of aspirin and prayed they would help . Even the coffee didn 't smell right when I made it and I couldn 't eat the eggs after I fixed them . I was a mess . I got up from the table , threw out the coffee , and decided to get some sun . Later that day I would go to the hotel and visit her father . If the offer still stood , at five grand a shot , I was in the market to be bought . What did I care what he took to Cuba ? It was none of my affair . If he wanted to waste his money that way , that was up to him . The sun was out , hot and bright , and I stretched out on the dock . I still had a couple of bumps on my skull and my head ached . If I ever got my hands on those guys - but I wouldn 't . The money was gone , I was flat , and I might just as well accept it . Baby , I thought thinking of Rose ; baby , if you could only see me now . You 'd laugh yourself silly , you stinking tramp . I 'm right where you wanted me to be , down as far as I can go , and you 're probably no better off than I am . If Howard had half the brains I thought he had he 'd have kicked you out a long time ago . Who are you with now ? Where are you ? How many men have you had that he knows about - and how many he doesn 't know about ? The sun felt fine and my head began to stop aching . Sweat was on my back and along my legs but I just lay there soaking up the heat . Some boats went by but I didn 't pay any attention to them . The Stearns boat w alongside the dock and that was unusual . Generally Frank was out early and he stayed late . Well , it was his business . If he didn 't want to hunt turtles , he didn 't want to hunt turtles . I must have gone to sleep and when I awoke I was soaked with sweat . The headache was gone and my mouth was dry . I sat up , blinking against the sun , and saw Frank Stearns coming down the dock toward me . I became interested right away . He was carrying a bottle and it looked almost full . " I was down here before but you were dead to the world . " He sat down beside me and I could smell his breath . He had been drinking heavily . " Drink ? " " Don 't kid yourself , " I said . " The boss in an office pays a girl fifty dollars a week and he thinks he 's doing her a favor . That same girl , if she gets herself set in a good eating place , can make as much in two days . And she doesn 't have to declare it for income tax . That 's a big difference , isn 't it ? " " How do you think the doctors get so stinking rich ? When they get paid in cash they forget about it . I had some truck with a lawyer once and he gave me fifteen percent off for cash . Know the reason why ? A check can be traced and cash can 't . Getting right down to it , waiting on table isn 't a bad job at all . " " Sure , the guys make passes . And the cheaper the place , the more the passes . Only you don 't have to worry about Betty . She can hold her own , no matter where she is or who the guy is . " " And you wouldn 't . I 've seen you turn down good parties . " He glanced toward The Shark . " If I had that land of a boat I wouldn 't have any worries . I 'd work out of Key West and I 'd keep her bumping from daylight to dark . " He didn 't have any argument there and he remained silent . I watched The Shark rise and fall gently in the water and I felt a sense of pride . She was a good boat and she would take me wherever I wanted to go . For a second I thought of getting on board , casting off , and moving up the Keys away from Vera and Betty and everything else . I could find another dock , pick up a few fishermen and make a living . I didn 't have to load myself with old Frank 's problems and I didn 't have to take any chances running to Cuba . The way I was going was insane and it meant only trouble . I 'd had enough with Rose , enough to last me forever . " I feel guilty as hell . I had fifty bucks and it 's shot . And while I 'm drinking with you , Betty is breaking her back over a bunch of dirty dishes . " I waited for him on the porch . When he came out of the house he had another bottle of the same brand in his hand . We sat on the top step and swapped the bottle back and forth . " You know what I 'm driving at I wouldn 't be saying this if I wasn 't drunk but I am drunk and I am saying it . You would take her in a minute , Walker , if you got the chance . I 've seen you watching her when she walks around in that bathing suit and what I 've seen in your eyes is what a hound dog feels in spring . " " I 've asked her not to . I 've asked her to put on a dress or something and cover herself up . Before you came here , Walker , it was all right . But right afterward it was no good . You 're a hard one - don 't tell me you 're not - and it wouldn 't mean anything to you that she 's a virgin . " We argued about it some and it was a silly argument . He was as drunk as they come and he didn 't know what he was talking about I listened to him , and wondered what he would do if he knew that she had belonged to me . My guess was that there was a gun somewhere in the house and that it wouldn 't take him very long to find and load it . r walked through the weeds and toward the dock . The sun seemed hotter than ever and the liquor poured out of my skin in steady streams . There wasn 't anybody around and the people in the boats further out couldn 't see much so when I reached the water I stripped down to my shorts and dove off the dock . I stayed in the water about ten or fifteen minutes and when I came out I felt better . I lay on the dock in the sun and dried off . As soon as I was dry I went aboard The Shark and stretched out on the first bunk I found . I was tired , dead tired , and it wasn 't long before I drifted off to sleep . " He used to drink terribly . That 's one reason why he can 't get any help now . People know him and they think he 'll do the same thing again . You can 't blame them . " She took a deep breath . " I was shocked when I came home and found him on the porch . I blamed you for it Clint . I apologize . " " What else was I to think ? You 're always drinking and he 's been good for so long . I thought you had talked him into it . " " I didn 't have any money . " I told her , briefly , what had happened the night before . " I 've got enough for a postage stamp and that 's about all . " There she was , waiting for me , wanting me , and there wasn 't a thing I could do about it . I had to see Gordon at the hotel and it was hard to say how long the session with him would last . There was Vera , too . I couldn 't wash the luxury of her body out of my brain . Something about her had gone down inside of me , way deep , and even several hours later it was still there . " You are lying , " she said . " I feel it . I know it I heard the car when it came in this morning . I heard her laugh and I saw you lean inside the car and kiss her . " " No . My father was asleep and I sat at my bedroom window watching for you . I would have come down to the boat with you . I would have done anything for you , Clint . Anything . " I didn 't know what to say . She was a good girl , and I hadn 't treated her fairly . In that instant I was sorry that anything had ever happened between us . When a man is built the way I am he should go for a girl who doesn 't count , who doesn 't care . You get them in the bars or in the houses and when it is over there are no regrets . A nice girl remembers . She doesn 't want to forget . " I can 't blame you . Men are different from women . It 's just difficult for me to understand it , that 's all . A man wants one thing out of life and a woman wants another . I can 't tame you . I shouldn 't try . I should be glad that you were mine for just a little while . " I hadn 't cried in years but I wanted to cry then . Why couldn 't I see things the way she did ? Why couldn 't I feel the way she did ? It would have been better , safer , and the torment inside of me would have died . I was brutal with her . I had to lose myself in her , forget everything else , cling to the goodness of life . It was my only hope . Vera was dangerous , as dangerous as they come , and what her father wanted me to do was even more dangerous . I had love here , love that was sweet , love that belonged to me . To throw it aside was the mark of a fool . " Baby ! " VERA WASN ' T in the lobby and I was disappointed about that . I even checked the bar and the dining room but I couldn 't find her . Before going over to the desk I tried calling her on the house phone but she didn 't answer . I looked for a place to sit down but there wasn 't any . Clothes were all over the bed and the chairs . The room looked like somebody had thrown a bomb into it . " Half the drunks you see in the tropics got that way on rum . The trouble is that they stay that way . Next to wine rum will chew a man 's brain apart faster than anything going . " " I looked a long time to find somebody like you , " Gordon said . " It wasn 't easy . I needed a boat that was fast and a guy who had guts . " He looked at me . " I think you 've got guts . " I had been there once before , with an old guy and a showgirl . The old guy had slopped up the booze and the girl had come up on deck with me . We hadn 't stayed on deck very long . I had let the boat drift and we had gone down below . " Only to the extent of providing them with guns . I get my pay and you get yours . It 's a satisfactory arrangement . This isn 't the first service I 've rendered to an oppressed people and it won 't be the last . These people need help and as long as they 've got the money I 'm willing to give it to them . " " Only until all of the guns are ashore , " he replied . " What would I want to get mixed up in the whole mess for ? By the time you make your last trip I 'll probably be sick of eating arroz con polio . " " The one who owns the dock . And it means getting his daughter in to town for a little fun . What she doesn 't know won 't hurt her . " He grinned and nudged me . " Having fun with that would be all right , " he said . " I saw her in a bathing suit the first day I was out there , and she looked like stuff . " " Come off it , Walker . I 'd like to have a load of guns in Cuba for every time you 've had her down in the boat . Not that I blame you . She 's a dish that you don 't turn away from . " " For the same reason I should trust you , " I said . " I 'm not shooting for marbles in this game . I want as much as I can get . You want the same . If we don 't work together neither one of us is going to get anything . " I knew it . Ever since Rose I had been reaching for the top and finding bottom . But with twenty or twenty - five thousand dollars my worries would be nil . Maybe I would sell the boat and go back into the real estate business for myself . I didn 't know . But there were two things I did know . He had a daughter who was all sex and he had the money to go with it . " I mean it , Walker . Once I gave a guy five hundred to do a job for me and he ran off . " He paused and grinned . " He didn 't run far . I lost the five hundred but he lost something that was much more important . " I didn 't ask Gordon what the guy had lost . I knew . His life . There was no fooling here . This was business , big business and rough . Now that I had taken money from Gordon I was in it all the way up to my neck - and then some . " I 'll get the old guy drunk and bring the girl to town . You don 't need me there to load . Just don 't put everything on one side . Keep the weight even . " " You do your job and you 'll be well paid . You ask no questions and you get no answers , other than what I have already given you . Understand ? " " Just so that you understand it , Walker . Just so that you understand it . A man of your make - up is after only one thing and she isn 't that kind . " I felt like laughing at him . He was a stupid fool . She was that kind with me and that was all that counted . The next time I would have to be careful . We wouldn 't be able to use her room . If he ever found us there together it wouldn 't be good . " You 'd better be right about all this , " I said slowly . " You aren 't the only one who makes the rules . I have some of my own . " I stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind me . There was something about that guy that was sinister and I was glad to be away from him . I would be even happier when the whole thing was over and done with . The elevator was slow in coming up and I felt the money in my pocket . There was enough there to bail Stearns out of his troubles with the bank and about four hundred left over . Four hundred could take me a long distance , if I wanted to go . I could pull out from the dock the next day , saying I was going for fuel , and never return . It was a big world and if Gordon found me he would be welcome to take anything he could get . My guess was that he wouldn 't chase me for a lousy thousand dollars , that he would take his loss and look for someone else . What he 'd told me about the other guy was probably a bluff . If Gordon had been burned once he wouldn 't take a chance on being burned twice . That didn 't make sense . The elevator came up and I got in . We made the lobby in silence and I got off . The bar was to the left and I walked in there . A few couples sat at tables but there was no one at the bar . I found a stool at one end , climbed up on it and ordered a whiskey sour . It was - the first sip locked my jaws together . But I hadn 't had a whiskey sour in months and it tasted fine . The second try went better and pretty soon I was after another one . A girl came in and sat down at the bar . She had long legs , was wearing a low - cut dress , and she had all the trademarks of a girl who could be bought for a night . But I wasn 't interested . I had my own problems and the more I thought of them the bigger they became . Running guns was a dangerous business and if I got caught or somebody turned me in , I could wind up in a little room with a lot of iron bars . In the past , while married to Rose and playing with Morgan Real Estate money , I had been fooling with the other side of the law . But that had been nothing like this . What did they do to a gun runner ? I didn 't have the faintest idea . All I knew was in this deal I could get it from two angles - from the law and from Gordon - and I didn 't know which one would go the hardest on me . Five trips to Cuba meant twenty - five grand and that was a lot of money . One of the things about it that I didn 't like was where I had to land the guns . Cardenas and Matanzas were both pretty good - sized places and they were only about twenty - five miles apart . We would have to be careful and lucky and sometimes it 's hard to be both . I had been to Cuba several times and all I had seen had been poverty . Thinking about the way some of the people existed , it was no wonder the country was always torn by revolutions . Oh , there had been some improvements in education but the general standard of living wasn 't what it should be . Sugar was the main crop - Cuba raises more sugar than any other country in the world - and the tourist trade is second in importance . Revolutions , of course , do not help the tourist trade - you go there for a visit and you don 't know whether you get a bullet through the head or a woman in your room . What the country needed was a government that was steady and safe , a government which people could trust I couldn 't help but wonder if guns could accomplish this purpose . The girl lost her smile when he told her of my refusal and she uncrossed her legs . I grinned a little and finished my drink . Any other time I would have been interested but that night I had something else on my mind . Vera Gordon . I knew it was wrong , and yet I couldn 't wash the memory of her out of my blood . I wanted to drown myself in her beauty , in all the secrets of her body . Another man had joined us at the bar and the girl was talking to him . She was smiling and laughing . She had found a customer and the next day she would be able to pay her rent . His one hand was hidden from view but I knew where it was . Her kind of a girl plays that way . She lets you know most of the land before you start to build your house . I drank and thought about going back to the boat . Old Frank was drunk , finished for the night , and there wasn 't anything to stop me from seeing Betty . She had been mad at me in the cabin , but I knew that she would come to me again . In a way , I felt a little ashamed because of it . She was a fine girl , better than I had a right to ask for , but I didn 't love her . I put a ten on the bar and had another . Maybe I was getting drunk . So what ? Liquor was a poor substitute for what I really wanted but when you only have a second choice you take it . I tried to think of my life in relation to the future and it was impossible . Twenty - five thousand dollars was beyond my understanding . It meant security , a new freedom , and once the mission was accomplished I would be through with Gordon . I would be through with him unless his daughterh … Twenty - five thousand bucks and Vera . It was some combination . It was a combination that couldn 't be beaten . If she thought half as much of me as I did of her it would be a world - beater . I would put the money in the bank , maybe buy a little place in Key West and settle down to running fishing parties . I could do well at that , as well as I could do in real estate , and my hours would be my own . It would be a good life , the kind of a life a man was meant to lead , and together we would share it fully . I had to forget about Betty . She stood for the simple things and the simple things weren 't for me . Someday she would find a man who believed as she did and then she , too , would be happy . She would remember me , perhaps , because I had been the first , but that would be all . She would have children , beautiful children , and in these she would find her reward . THE CAB driver was nearly as stoned as I was and we almost hit a car on the way out to the Stearns ' place . I called him a name , and he asked me if I wanted to get out . I told him to keep on driving and to stay on the road . " Lousy . You never get anywhere driving a cab . You can push one of these crates for the rest of your life and you wind up right where you started - in the bottom of the sink . " He turned off the main highway , unmindful of a truck bearing down on us , and struck the shoulder of the road with one of the front wheels . I bounced up off the seat and cracked my skull against the roof of the car . He was quite a driver . He should have been behind a plow on some farm . I guess I paid him with a ten . I don 't know - it could have been a twenty . Anyway , I told him to keep the change . " It could be worse . I 've got a wife at home who never says no , " He laughed . " To me or anybody else . You ever have a wife like that ? " He tinned the cab around with no little trouble and drove up the road . I had a good idea where that ten or twenty would go . To some dame . He would land in Key West , hit the first bar , and his wife wouldn 't see a penny . Well , it was her tough luck - and his . I should worry over somebody I didn 't even know . I picked my way through the weeds and looked at the porch . The moon was out , low and bright , and I could see him still lying there . He was snoring and I had the urge to laugh . When he woke up in the morning he would be so stiff he would hardly be able to walk . " I don 't want you when you 're drunk . " I thought she was crying . " It isn 't right that way . " She almost choked on the tears and I could barely hear what she said . " There 's a girl on your boat Clint . She 's waiting for you . " I didn 't care if I hurt her , didn 't care what I did . Vera had come to me and that was what I wanted . I was suddenly angry with myself for having drunk so much . I wanted to be sober with her . I caught my foot in some weeds and almost fell . Cursing , I stumbled forward and made for the dock . Drunk or not I would have her . I would tell her how much I loved her , how much she meant , and everything would be all right . I would hold her in my arms , her body against my own . She would be mine , all mine , and nothing would ever make us part I would make her happy , and I wouldn 't stop until the sun was bright and hot outside . I laughed and found the dock . I might not stop then . I might not ever stop . I don 't know how I got on board . The steps going down inside were steep and I had to hang on to the railing . At the bottom I missed the step and slammed into the wall . I hit my nose and my teeth and as I got up from the floor I felt my teeth with my tongue and found none of them broken , but there was blood in my mouth and it tasted funny . Those whiskey sours had done a job on me , a real job . I started along the passageway , bumping from one side to the other . I stopped , breathing heavily , and rubbed my face with one hand . I knew that voice and yet I didn 't . Vera Gordon ? She had a low voice , not quite so sexy , but everything was fogged up and I might be wrong . I closed my eyes and tried to remember how she sounded . I couldn 't . And then , suddenly , it came to me . I had heard that voice before , thousands of times . I had heard it in the heat of argument and I had heard it in passion . I didn 't move . I just stood there , feeling the blood in my mouth and shaking my head . It wasn 't right , not this . This was out of the past , something that I had forgotten , something that had died . The liquor slammed against my brain , slid away , slammed again . I didn 't deserve this ! A light blazed in one of the cabins , spilling into the passageway , and I moved forward . I was sweating , trembling , my hands balling up into huge fists . She had gone away from me and now she had returned . I wanted to smash her , destroy her . She was as deadly as a cancer , a sickness that I had carried with me ever since I had known her . She was on the bunk , all stretched out , and she wore nothing but a black bra and a pair of thin net panties . She lay there , smiling up at me , and the smile brought back memories that had long since left me . I remembered the first time I had made love to her - she had been smiling at me then , too . The smile had been a challenge , an invitation , an open acceptance of what I wanted to do . " It 's hot in here and I 'm comfortable this way . Besides , I could have taken off everything . " She laughed . " You used to like that . Remember ? " " Believe what you want . You meant something to me at the start but in the end you killed it . You had a choice and you made it . You wanted a divorce and you got it . What is there left for us ? " She got up from the bunk and came toward me . The liquor still fogged my brain but I knew what I was looking at . She was as good as ever , maybe a few pounds heavier , but she breathed sex with every motion . " I won 't shut up . What do you think I am ? Nuts ? You run off with my own brother , get a divorce - he was better than I was , you said - and two years later you show up . You want me to roll out the red carpet ? You want me to stand on my head ? " " You don 't know what it 's like in the summer . Hot ? My God , it 's hot . You cross the street and your shoes stick to the tar and you can smell an ice cream parlor a block away . That 's where we went after we left here . Columbus . I got a job in a restaurant , waiting on soldiers from Fort Benning , and you have no idea what it was like . The other girls put out for the soldiers and they were after me all the time . But that wasn 't the worst part . The worst part was that Howard wouldn 't work . He took most of my money and drank . And there were other women . One day I was sick and I went back to the room early and I found him in bed with the girl from across the hall . It was all I could stand , all I could take . I left him that night and I never saw him again . " When we were growing up Howard and I had been very close and when I made money I had given him money . I wished I knew where he was , what he was doing . After all , he was my brother and I blamed Rose for what had happened more than I blamed Howard . " Your mind is only on one thing , " she said . " I have been lots of things in my life but not that . I don 't say there wasn 't the opportunity . Every guy who comes to a carny thinks all the girls can be had . You get offers and some of them are big , but if you 're smart you turn them all down . You get paid to do a dance and that 's all you do . I didn 't even take part in the second show , the one they charge extra for , where you strip all the way down . I was the only girl who didn 't and that cost me my job . Either do it or quit , the boss said , so I quit . " " I remembered the bank where you used to do some business . I went there this afternoon and the man who had talked to you about a loan had your address . He was very helpful . " " You , Clint . " Her voice was low and soft . " I wasn 't right for you before but I am now . I 've learned a lot I 've changed . Two years have changed my way of thinking , even of living . I was crazy to get mixed up with your brother . But all of us make mistakes , don 't we ? " " There was no reason why you should . The divorce finished it for us . You have your life and I have mine . We both want different things . It 's time you understood that . " " I saw her . She 's pretty and when I asked for you she looked at me as though she hated me . What have you been doing ? Sleeping with her ? " " I know you have . That makes you no better than I am . So I ran away with your brother - you found another woman . Does that make us different ? Or is there a double standard ? It is all right for a man to have another woman and wrong for a woman to make an error and have another man . You answer me , Clint . Is it ? " " I mean it . We aren 't married any longer . What I do is my business and what you do is yours . The fact that we once lived together doesn 't mean anything . " She sat down on the bunk and for a brief instant I felt sorry for her . My brother should have married her , should have made a home for her . What did she have left ? Nothing , that 's what she had left . And what did I have left ? Hell , I had plenty . I had The Shark and the chance of making twenty - five thousand bucks . And , with luck , I would have Vera Gordon . No sane man could have asked for more . " Well , that 's all you 're going to get and you 're lucky to get that . I can give you a hundred to help you get started . You can get a job in Key West or someplace and you 'll get along all right . " " It could be good for us , " she said , trying again . " I 'm not the same girl I used to be . I want something out of life , Clint . Not just sex . Sex is a part of it but only a part . I 've found that out . When I married you it was because of it , mostly , but since I 've been away from you I 've found out there was something else , too . You were good to me , Clint - in more ways than one . Two years isn 't a long time but in two years a girl can find herself . I have . That 's why I 'm here . I thought we could pick up the pieces and start all over again . " She got to her feet and picked up her dress . It wasn 't until then that I noticed the suitcase near the door . She had come to stay and I was kicking her out . There wasn 't anything else I could do . Even if I wanted to keep her around she would only spoil things . My deal with Gordon was strictly private and the less anybody else knew about it the better off I would be . " Have I ? " She was amused . " A pretty girl like that and a lonely man like you ? I 'm surprised I didn 't find her down here at the boat . " I picked up her suitcase and we didn 't talk as we left the boat . I thought she was crying again but in the darkness I couldn 't be sine . The heels of her shoes made a lot of noise on the rough planking of the dock . " You wait here , " I said when we were close to the house . I put the suitcase down . " I 'll call the cab from inside . " She stood there in the weeds and I walked over to the porch . Stearns was still in the same position , snoring loudly . I made my way around him and entered the house . The phone was in the hall and I managed to find it . I ht a match , dialed , and some woman answered . Yes , they had an available cab . Yes , it would be right out . Yes , she knew where the Stearns dock was located . I held a match for her and I could see her face . I was immediately sorry that I had said such a thing . Maybe she didn 't deserve much but she didn 't deserve that . She seemed to be trying to square herself away and I had to give her credit for that . When I got right down to it , I wasn 't a great deal better than she was - if as good . " But I do . " In the darkness one of her hands found my arm . " You 're bitter now and I can 't blame you . But when you 're sober and you 've thought it over you may not feel the same . " After the cab had gone I started for the dock and then turned back toward the house . Why be proud ? Her old man was drunk and she was as ready as she would ever be . I entered the house and began climbing the stairs . She wasn 't Vera but she was a girl and right then I needed a girl . The way Rose had looked in the cabin had set me on fire . I found her in the bedroom , the one over the porch . It wasn 't light in there but I could see her body outlined against the backdrop of an open window . It was hot in the room , hotter than outside and I suspected she wasn 't wearing any more than her skin . " Maybe not , but I don 't have anything to do with that . They 're loaded with cash and if I don 't take it somebody else will . " I patted the money in my pocket . " I saw the old man tonight and he gave me a grand in advance . Can you imagine that ? A grand ! It 's enough , more than enough , to straighten your father up with the bank . " " Because I 've lost things in the past - a house - and I know what it means . Once he 's settled down he 'll square away and he can pay me back as he goes along . I 'm not worried . All he needs is a chance and if I can give it to him , that 's for me . " I almost fell down as I got out of the rest of my clothes . The liquor was still in me , and though I wasn 't as bad as I had been I wasn 't sober , either . Sure , I would give Stearns the money . Out of twenty - five grand it wasn 't much . And she was worth it . She was , for my purpose , worth every cent of it . She would earn it in bed . She wasn 't Vera but she was a girl and the way I felt I had to have somebody . Somebody . Anybody but Rose . I didn 't wait for any more . She was in my arms , and I had to have her . Savagely , I caught her head with my left hand and forced her lips to my mouth , my hand in back of her head , my whole mouth open . I left him on the dock and took the ladder down inside . It took me a few minutes to locate the Bromo and then I drew half a glass of water . I didn 't mix it until I was on the dock . " Well , I had one last night . I ran all over Key West , and the best I could borrow is fifty bucks . I can name you half a dozen fellows I helped out years ago and they wouldn 't even listen to me . " " I 've given up on it . The bank can have the place and stick it . Somebody on the board thinks this dock is worth money and that 's the reason for the pressure . You can 't fight things like that . I 've got an idea that 's why they gave me the loan in the first place , to suck me in . They know what the turtle business is . If they had given me the money on a twenty - year plan it would have been all right . But these ten - year mortgages break your back . " " You don 't have to tell me about it . I 've been through it myself . It 's tough to lose what almost belongs to you . " I dug into my pocket and got out the roll of bills . There was nothing smaller than a twenty , nothing larger than a fifty , and I counted out seven hundred . Don 't ask me why I was being so generous ; I don 't know why . I guess I liked him and liked Betty and didn 't want to see them pushed out into the cold . Besides , seven hundred didn 't mean much out of twenty - five thousand . " You get more money from tourists than you do from turtles . And it isn 't as much work . All you do is take them out and let them slap their lines around in the water . " He nodded . " Maybe I will . You seem to be doing all right , " he added . " I haven 't seen that much money since they gave me the loan . " He took the bills and crushed them in one hand . I could imagine how he felt . A rock had been lifted off of his head and he was free . " Then it must have been some fellow from town . I knew when she went to work in that restaurant that it was a bad thing . A girl working in a restaurant meets all kinds of men , some good , some bad . The worst part is that a good girl usually falls for the bad in a man . If I thought for one minute - " " I hope you 're right . I 've tried to bring her up that way . It hasn 't been easy , being both a father and a mother , but I 've made every try to do the job . " " Maybe . Maybe not . It 's hard for a man to talk to a girl and tell her the way things are . You get embarrassed . Sex can be a big part of life and life without it doesn 't mean much . When her mother was alive - well , why go into that ? Her mother was a lot like Betty , built just the way she is . Even when she got older she had a fine shape . " He continued to talk about his dead wife but I wasn 't listening to him . I had been lucky that morning and I wouldn 't press my luck again . Not that I was afraid of him . I wasn 't , but I didn 't want a bullet in the guts . And that 's just what he would do . His world was wrapped around his daughter and anybody who bothered that world was in dangerous territory . He laughed . " Knock those bastards down . They 're so high and mighty . " He laughed again . " I can 't thank you enough , Clint Walker . You 're a real friend . " He said he was going to walk , that the walk would do him good , and he left . He walked with his shoulders back , real square and straight and his head was held high . When he got to the end of the dock he turned and waved at me and I waved back . After he had gone I lay down on the dock and stretched out in the sun . I didn 't feel so hot myself . I 'd had a lot to drink the night before and I had had very little sleep . Not only that , but Rose bothered me . She always bothered me . I had been running from her for two years and now she had come back . Well , I wasn 't going to have anything to do with her . I was determined about that . If she came to the boat again I wouldn 't give her a dime . She could make her own way . I closed my eyes and grinned up at the sun . So she had been with a carnival and she had stayed a good girl . Like hell she had . Maybe Howard hadn 't worked out , but she must have tried other men . I wondered how many . She wasn 't the kind of girl who went without her sex for more than twenty - four hours at a stretch . If she hadn 't done it for money then she had done it for just plain fun . But there was something else annoying me more than Rose . It was Betty . I had been pretty well sacked the night before and I couldn 't recall all that I had said . Had I promised marriage ? I didn 't know . Perhaps I had . A man holds a desirable girl in his arms and he 's apt to promise anything . But Betty was not a slut picked up from the streets and I respected her for that . She was in love , or she thought she was . One thing I said did hurt her , though . I held her in the night and I thought she was Vera . It was dark in the room - it wasn 't hard to think that . I had taken her body , accepted her love , and made believe it was Vera Gordon . It wasn 't right , but Vera had done something to me and I couldn 't change it . I yearned for her , every nerve cried for her , and anyone 's body would have been hers . I closed my eyes to the sun , saw the blonde of Vera 's hair , the shape of her figure . She had been out to see me and I hadn 't been there . What lousy luck . The next time it wouldn 't be the same . The next time I would be waiting for her . And sober . I didn 't need any liquor , not with Vera . All I needed was time . All I needed was to have her close , to know her again , to keep on knowing her forever . I had it bad . There was no doubt about that . I had so bad that I couldn 't think of anything else . Except twenty - five thousand dollars . I could think of that . I could think of that and not half try . Twenty - five thousand big bucks could create a different world , a world of pleasure . And with it might come Vera . That was the bonus . She was one in a thousand , one in a million and she had belonged to me that night with sheer abandon . Sober , I wanted her . Drunk , I wanted her . Any hour of the day or the night , I wanted her . I had to have her , and I would have her . If it cost me every cent I had and the boat , I would have her . I continued to lie there , soaking up the sun . There were a lot of things I should be doing . I had a set of new thin head gaskets from a mail order firm , and these , once installed , would add power to the boat . My guess was that they would load me down heavily with guns and we would ride low in the water , so I would need all of the extra power I could get . Yet I didn 't do anything about it . I didn 't move . Tomorrow was another day and today could take care of itself . I had plenty of power , anyway , more than enough . It would be a short run to Cuba but getting close to the shore could be a problem . I 'd have to watch the coral - reefs . A coral reef could ruin the boat and the whole venture . Once you went up on one of those you stayed - or you sank . It must have been around three when the Imperial pulled up in front of the house and stopped . I turned my head , hoping that it was Vera , but it was Gordon . He came lumbering toward me down the dock . He sat down with effort and tried to cross his legs . He couldn 't . His legs were too fat and his stomach was too big . Sitting there , he looked like a toad on a log . He permitted himself a faint smile . " I figured you must be getting some of that , " he said . " She 's something in a bathing suit . " " If your intentions aren 't serious she might go to the police . That 's all we would need . If the guns don 't get to Cuba , all of them , the cause is ruined . " He threw the cigar into the water but the fish didn 't go for it . I ht a cigarette and watched him through the smoke . There was something funny about this guy , very funny . He nodded . " I wasn 't going to tell you much about this but there 's no reason why you shouldn 't know . Cuba has never had an honest government . " " There was . Bleed the poor and feed the rich , that was the theme . The aim now is to bring honesty to the government , to nationalize the sugar industry , to give every worker his place in the sun , to hold elections the way they should be held . " " Only to the extent of gaining power . After that it will be up to the people . A president is supposed to be elected every four years but one man held power for over twenty . The theory of Cuban government was one of democracy but it has always been a dictatorship . One man takes control and then another . Nobody knows where he is going . The worker in the sugar field is a slave to the whim of the leaders . " " Yes , I hope . There 's enough in Cuba for everybody , with some left over . If I am offered my share I won 't refuse it . " " I was running guns and helping in revolutions before you knew what it was all about . I 'm tired of it , Walker . I want to earn my nut and quit the whole business . " He didn 't stay long after that . I asked him some questions but he didn 't answer me and I let the business drop . He was paying me well for the job and what he did with the guns was no affair of mine . As he had told me before , if I didn 't do it somebody else would . I didn 't feel guilty . Cuba was a melting pot and somebody was always throwing something into the pot . Perhaps he was sincere . Free elections and a free people would be a good thing for everybody . Since the previous revolution the tourist trade had fallen off and the country needed that . The country also needed the investment of American dollars to bolster the economy . " If you aren 't you can imagine what will happen to you . This isn 't a game , Walker . This is a deadly serious thing . " He left , chewing the cigar , and I lay down again . The head gaskets could wait . Everything could wait . Everything except one . That couldn 't . Shortly before five I changed my clothes and started walking toward town . Stearns hadn 't come back yet and I had an idea he had ended up in some bar . On the way I met a cab and Betty waved to me . I waved back . She probably wondered where I was going but that didn 't bother me in the least . I knew where I was going . And I knew what I was going to do if I got the chance . I walked faster , thinking about it . " Hello , " she said . She had a deep voice on the phone , slow and sexy . It sent a hot streak up my spine . " Who is this ? " She laughed and her laugh was sexy , too . " You 'd better not . I just got out of the shower and I 'm standing here - well , you know how . " I closed my eyes . I knew how . I could see her , all of her loveliness . I wanted to hang up the phone and run for the elevator . I wanted to get to her before she found a robe or a negligee , before she could put on anything at all . But I knew it wasn 't the time . The ten minutes I waited was eternity . I bought a paper at the counter , tried to get interested in it and couldn 't . There was an article in there about Cuba but I didn 't read it . What did I care about Cuba ? I was being paid to run guns and that was my first concern . She was lovely when she appeared . She wore a blue dress that flattered her breasts and hips , if they needed flattering , and there was a narrow belt that showed how small she was in the middle . I watched her legs as she came toward me across the lobby and that same feeling crept along my spine . " Yes , I 'll worry , but he 's been in these revolutions before . He knows what he 's doing . But he 's getting older and he can 't keep it up forever . I hope this is the last . " She toyed with her empty glass . " I dream of a quiet decent life . Ever since I can remember we 've been on the go . It isn 't good . You need a home , a place to fasten your roots . " " That too , for a girl . A girl needs marriage and children and a man to love her . " She smiled . " Not in the way you loved me , not just that , but in other ways , too . One is as important as the other . " " I think so . You see a girl and you either like it right away or you don 't . You see hundreds of them , thousands of them , and out of it all comes one that is for you . You know it without being told , without having to think . It 's just there and no matter how much you fight it it stays with you . " " More . Before - I 'm being honest with you - I thought I wanted what a man could give me but with you it was more than that . You - Clint , you weren 't the first . " " Yes . To a certain extent . A man seldom has any worries if he plays around but a girl does . It 's a chance she takes . " " I know . I saw it in college . One month a girl was safe and the next month she was on her way to having a baby . But people who are in love should have a baby as quickly as they can and as many as they can . " I paid the check and we left the dining room . We both knew where we were going and I didn 't have to lead her over to the elevator . She took my arm firmly . I decided that this would be a night to remember . THE NEXT MORNING I tore the motors apart and installed the thin head gaskets . Stearns came down just as I was finishing and wanted to know what I was doing . I told him . I cut the engines and while I washed up he went topside . The night before I had picked up two bottles of scotch but it was too early in the day to start him drinking . Afternoon was time enough and by nightfall he would be as slopped as they come . The only other problem was to get Betty into town but I didn 't think that was much of a problem . She never got out and we could always take in a movie . Or do something else . I didn 't know who it was but I hoped it wasn 't Gordon . There was no reason for him to visit the boat . Our arrangements were set and we both knew what we had to do . I didn 't think that Stearns was apt to draw a fine line between what was right and wrong but what he didn 't know wouldn 't bother him . If he were aware that I was getting twenty - five thousand bucks he might want part of it and I wasn 't sharing the loot with anybody . It was my boat , my neck , and what I got belonged to me . Stearns was watching us , looking uncomfortable , and I introduced them . Rose merely nodded but I could tell that Stearns wasn 't missing one line of her body . I didn 't see how he could . We stood there , none of us saying anything , and Stearns continued to look at her . Lazily , she adjusted the strap on her halter and he followed every movement . His interest in her gave me an idea . He was a man and she was a woman and I had two bottles of scotch . It was a combination that could be potent . We went aboard and it wasn 't long before we were deep into the bottle of scotch . I began to wish that I had gotten more . Rose could put it away straight , and never blink an eye . " I wish you would do the same . I wish it were the same for us as before . You don 't know how much I want it that way , Clint . " This satisfied him and he merely nodded . I guess he was thinking of all of the bunks on the boat and what he could do about them with them . Rose merely looked at me , her face hard , and said nothing . I didn 't walk far , just along the shore , and then I sat down . It was the wrong thing to do to Rose but I didn 't owe her anything and she couldn 't earn five hundred dollars easier . For the first time , I think , I realized that I had never loved her , not the way , let us say , that I loved Vera Gordon . Oh , there was sex with Vera , more than one man 's share of it , but there was much more needed than that . When I held Vera in my arms the world stood still and when I was away from her there wasn 't any world , only the hollow feeling of waiting that no one else could fill . Rose was simply another woman who could be bought for a price - no matter who paid the money , no matter who the man was . She was for sale and I had bought her . She was no longer my wife . She was a memory that had shattered in a thousand pieces . I lay back on the sand , closing my eyes . Five days , five days more and I would have all of the money I needed . What was it Vera had said ? I had shown her , shown her in the only way I knew how . It hadn 't been the cheap sex of Rose or the innocent sex of Betty . She had melted against me , and I had given her all that a man could possibly give a woman . Later , in my arms , she slept but I remained awake , restless , unable to comprehend all that was happening to me . Now as I lay on the bank it all came back to me , all of the beauty of it , all of the wonder . Once we had the money things would be the way they should be . We would buy a small place in Key West and I would use the boat to haul fishermen . Maybe I wouldn 't get rich but I wouldn 't have to be rich to be happy . I would have her , every moment of every night , and this was all I would ever need . Someday she would give birth to a child and then it would be complete . I didn 't much care whether it was a boy or a girl but I thought I wanted a girl , a girl with blue eyes and her hair and her smile , a girl who would always remind me of her . Love ? Yes , it was love , the only time I had ever known real love . I thought I had found it with Rose but that had been a fraud from start to finish . She claimed there hadn 't been other men , other than Howard , but I didn 't believe that . She had picked up with Stearns willingly enough , hadn 't she ? Most likely it had been the same with many other men . And she had been with a carnival . Most girls don 't travel with a carnival without giving themselves to somebody . It 's either the owner of the show or one of the workers in the show and , if the girl goes low enough , the men in the audience for money . I had been to several carny girlie shows and most of them had been the same . For fifty cents they put on a dance , wearing tights and a bra , and for an extra buck you could stay and see them do it naked . When they danced naked they came out front , to the end of the platform , and they let the men touch them wherever the men wanted to . If a man had money he could make a contact . They had it to sell and they didn 't care how they earned their wages . Usually such girls made more on the flat of their backs than they did standing up and dancing . My guess was that Rose had been one of these girls , that she had tired of the life and that she had come back to me simply because there wasn 't any place else for her to go . I sat up , realizing that I had been asleep , and yawned . The sun was lower now , redder , and it washed against the surface of the sea . In the distance a sailboat cut along smoothly . I wondered vaguely where the wind came from , since there wasn 't any wind along the shore . The heat was oppressive , dense . " It isn 't right , Clint and you know it isn 't right . He won 't stop with one drink or two . He has to get himself down and out . " " And we might see him in town . If we could only get him to come home I wouldn 't worry so much . He won 't take a taxi and you know how those cars are on the highway . He could stagger in front of one and that would be the end of him . " I followed her up the stairs and her hips were in front of me . They were rounded , swinging just right , and in that second I wanted her . It was an insane desire - who could want another woman after Vera ? - and I fought it down . I swallowed hard . How do you lie to a nice girl ? It isn 't easy . But again , the choice wasn 't mine . Twenty - five thousand dollars and Vera Gordon were riding on everything I did . It 'll be even better , " I said , going to her . I took her hands , held them for a second , and then I went after the rest of the buttons myself . I 'll dress you and undress you and there won 't be a thing that you do that I won 't help you with . " " You know it is . I work in a fog , live in a fog . I keep thinking what it will be like for us to be together all the time . " " I think so . No , not that . I know so . I know enough about boats to help you and understand your work and that ought to be an advantage . So many wives don 't know what their husbands do - or even care . All they are interested in is that they have enough money to spend and that the bills are paid on time . " " This is about the only thing I have that 's decent . " She held it up to her chest . " It 's tight but what can I do ? " She got into the dress , zipped it up the side , and it was tight . I almost wished that things weren 't as they were , that this was all in life that I had to have . Unfortunately , it wasn 't . There were twenty - five thousand bucks and a girl who could help me spend it . While she fixed her face I went downstairs and called a cab . As soon as I hung up I walked outside and sat down on the top step . I was still sitting there when she came out and joined me . " I love you so much that nothing else counts , nothing else matters . You could have taken me up there in the room but you didn 't . I love you for that , too . There is a time and a place for everything . " We didn 't say much on the way to town but she snuggled up to me and my arm was across her shoulders . Once my hand went a little low , touching her , and she tilted her head as though she wanted me to kiss her . I did . The driver made no comment and he stopped at the first hotel on the way . It was a small place without a bar but I knew it was clean . I had been there once with a fifty - dollar - a - night girl and we had had to send out for our liquor . We didn 't have any luggage and the clerk at the desk asked for the fifteen dollars in advance . I paid him and he smiled . We weren 't kidding him any . He knew why we were there and what we were going to do . I watched the lights of Key West fade into the distance and then I put on more power . The thin head gaskets made a difference , a big difference . The Shark had almost as much snap as she had when she was running empty . He grunted and remained silent . I was just as well satisfied . I didn 't want to talk to him . There was nothing to talk about . We had cleared the shore and we were in open water . About seventy - five miles away lay our destination . Vera was down below , fixing a drink for her father , but I had told her I didn 't want any . I knew the bay we would hit , and I didn 't want even a small amount of liquor clouding my mind . My brain had to be clear , my senses alert . For Gordon , it didn 't matter . He had to be only sober enough to pay me the four thousand I had coming . " I only want my rightful share . I do a job and I expect to get paid for it . You do a job , as you 're doing , and you expect to get paid for it . That makes us come out of the same piece of cloth . " In earlier revolutions thousands had died and in this revolution other thousands would probably die . Down below me , in the cabins , were the tools - of death . I was delivering death . Or was it freedom ? I didn 't know . All I knew was that this whole effort would be worth twenty - five thousand bucks to me . I glanced at the compass , then away from it and at her . She was wearing a white blouse and a pair of black toreador pants . Before we had left the dock I had seen her down below and I knew that the pants were so tight that she would be pressing her luck if she ever tried to bend over in them . " He doesn 't usually . But all this has made him nervous . This is the biggest thing he has ever had , really the biggest . " She took my hand and put it where it would do the most good . " Four more trips like this and it 's over and done with . " She sighed . " Mexico is beautiful , " she said . " And cheap . You can get a furnished house with servants for about twenty dollars a month American money . With twenty - five thousand dollars we could live there for years . " " I do , but we both need a vacation . We can take some time in Mexico and then come back to Key West . " She paused . " It 'll be wonderful being there with you , " she went on . " We can make love and sleep and drink and not care what day it is . " " There 's a safe off the galley , " I replied . " My father used it for insurance papers and stuff like that . I guess the money would be secure in that and after we get to Mexico we could put it in a bank . " " Because I wouldn 't want to be alone . " Her lips became wild . " I want you now . I want you terribly , Clint . Why can 't we ? " she pleaded . " Why can 't we ? " She was silent for quite a while . The boat was operating fine , better than it ever had before , and we were making good time . The sea was calm , almost like a mirror , and the night was all around us . " Yes . Gambling is big business in Cuba . Millions of American dollars are invested in it . Once the revolution is complete the new government will probably encourage gambling . Millions more will pour into the island . " " I see . " It made sense , plenty of sense . " Gambling is linked with the tourist trade and that 's Cuba 's second largest industry . " I was suddenly upset about my part in the affair . If the guns would buy a true freedom for the more than five million people of Cuba that was one thing ; but this gambling business was another . Blood would be shed because of huge interests and in the end the natives would be as bad off as they had been at the start - perhaps worse . I tried to think of them in terms of families , of children growing up , of men working with their hands to support those families . It wasn 't a pretty picture . " It 's that serious . " She tugged on my arm . " Clint , you can 't . You can 't even think of such a thing . You gave your word , you came into this , and now you have to follow it through . There isn 't any other way . If there were I would tell you . But I know what this means to my father . He is responsible for the money , for the guns , for everything . It 's his last job , his very last and he can come away from it rich . He wouldn 't listen to you or to me or to anybody . Do you know what he went through to get the guns and ammunition ? It took weeks of planning , of search , of risk . He hasn 't forgotten that and he won 't forget it . He 's in this all the way , Clint . So am I . So are you . We can 't change that now . I wish we could but we can 't . " She was right I was in it and I had to see it through . Not only that if it weren 't me it would be somebody else carting the guns . And at the end of the string there was twenty - five thousand dollars . Or twenty - four . Either way it was a lot of money . It would buy me a new life , a future with Vera , and the poverty I had known for the last two years would be gone . After our trip to Mexico we could settle down to a normal life . Perhaps I would sell the boat . I didn 't know . The real estate business in Florida was always good and I had made money at it before . There was more to it than hauling fishermen . We could join the best clubs - I had belonged to some of them once - and I would keep her decked out like a fashion model . " You don 't know what it means to me , " she said . " I 've been all over , seen so many things , and yet I have had nothing . " Her fingers dug into my arm . " Not until I found you , Clint . Finding you has been the best thing that ever happened to me . " " Love is more important to a woman than it is to a man , Clint . A woman has to have love . She has to be wanted and pursued , to be conquered . " " No , it isn 't . A man can buy love . A woman can 't . There isn 't a night in the week that a man can 't buy love . Oh , it 's physical , I 'll grant you that but most of a man 's love is physical . " " But it isn 't fair , " I said . " I was attracted to you first because of your beauty . But there has to be more to it than that , more than just physical love . A man , believe it or not , seeks the same thing a woman seeks . When they meet and come together , there 's bound to be a fire . " " I found none of it . It was all physical , nothing else , and even the physical side wasn 't the best . She was a tramp and I was simply a port in the storm of her life . " I had cut back the speed of The Shark and we moved in slowly . I leaned forward anxiously , ready to slam it in reverse if we touched anything . We didn 't . It was a good cove , very deep , and I was able to take the boat right up alongside the shore . There were a lot of men waiting for us and they came on board like flies . One of them was an American , apparently on friendly terms with Gordon , and he shouted orders in Spanish . Cartons of rifles began spewing up from the belly of the boat and these were passed , chain fashion , to the shore . I guess they had a truck or a couple of jeeps nearby because I could hear them being loaded . It was all done in darkness and after the first instructions in Spanish there was no further talk . Gordon and the other American were drinking from a bottle and Vera leaned against the railing , watching . Once her father offered her a drink but she said she didn 't care for any and that was the end of that . He didn 't offer me any and I didn 't ask . My nerves were on edge , my stomach muscles tight , and I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible . " No . I learned from my father . He was excellent with a boat and he taught me just about everything that he knew . Night trips were a must . " I SLEPT UNTIL the middle of the afternoon and when I woke up I looked around the boat . The cabins were a mess and most of the bunk covers had grease on them . I thought about it for a moment and grinned . For the kind of money I was getting I could stand a little destruction . Hell , for twenty - five grand they could have the bunks . I fixed some eggs in the galley but I couldn 't eat . Today was another day and tonight was another night . I had to count on Rose getting Stearns away from the house and I had to take care of Betty . I grinned again . I had to take care of Betty in more ways than one . I jumped down to the dock and landed next to him . The first thing I looked at were his eyes and they were red . He looked as though he had had quite a night . " I can 't forget it . You came across for the bank and now you 're coming across for something else . It doesn 't seem right . " He puffed on his cigarette . " I should be out for turtles , that 's what I should be doing . But this morning I couldn 't do it . I just couldn 't . My head was so big I could hardly get it through the doorway . " " You 've been working too hard , " I said . " And worrying too much . Add the two together and you 've got enough to drive any man to drink . " " But she did . She was waiting up for me when I came in last night and she raised particular hell . Go with a woman your own age , she said . Maybe , when you get right down to it , she 's right . Only what the devil ? There 's no harm in me buying a few drinks and having a little fun , is there ? " " This girl Rose is nice , very nice . She was married to some guy but he left her . You have to feel sorry for a girl like that . " " I 'll run in to town and see her , " he said . " She said she would be out looking for a job in the morning but that she would be in her room in the afternoon . I told her I 'd make it if I could . The fifty does the trick . " " Betty will be sore again but I can 't help that . You live once and if you don 't do it the first time out you don 't do it at all . I haven 't paid any attention to a woman since my wife died and a man shouldn 't exist that way . " " No , not that . Not what you mean , not exactly . I 'm not too old for that sort of thing - I don 't think I am , anyway - but that isn 't the most important . The most important is to have somebody you can talk to , somebody who will listen . " " No , I 'll get back at the turtles tomorrow . The market isn 't bad right now and I ought to be able to make my own way . Betty 's working will help and before we know it we 'll be in the clear . " He departed shortly after that and I watched him go . He didn 't stop at the house but kept on toward town . My guess was that he would get drunk again and that tomorrow would be the same story . Well , it was all right . A fifty here and a fifty there didn 't amount to much , not with what I had at stake . The main thing was that he shouldn 't suspect anything about what I was doing . He had been gone about half an hour when a cab came down the road and stopped . At first I thought it was Betty coming home early but when the girl got out I saw it was Rose . She came toward me down the dock . " You did a good job on the old boy , " I said . " Whatever you did to him he 's been bitten bad . He 's on his way in to see you right now . " " I thought as much . I saw him on the way out but I didn 't have the cab stop . " She made a face . " I 'll probably see enough of him tonight . " " Deal or not that 's the way it 's going to be . What do you think I live on , for Pete 's sakes ? My looks ? " " I don 't . You 're not paying a hundred dollars a night for nothing . You 're up to something , Clint , and for all I know you might take off and leave me hanging in the air . " I hadn 't thought of doing this before but it was a possibility . After our last trip to Cuba Vera and I would head for Mexico . Even if I left Rose broke it would serve her right . She had run away from me before and now it was my turn . I gave her the two hundred . Why try to cheat her out of it ? She was earning her pay and she had the money coming . Who wouldn 't invest a hundred bucks - or , more - to pick up five thousand ? Her smile was mocking . " Isn 't there ? With you around ? I 'll wager you 've chased her into the house more than once . Her and that bathing suit . Even I wouldn 't be seen in a thing like that . " " You aren 't . " The cab driver honked his horn but she didn 't move . " Do anything you have to do to keep him busy , " I said . " And I mean anything . " That cut her and cut her deep , but I didn 't care . What if she had been my wife at one time ? All that was done with and passed . I was paying her to do a job and I expected her to do it . I watched her go . Maybe I was wrong about her and maybe I wasn 't . What did I care ? She hurt me when she ran away with my brother and now I had hurt her . We were even . A few minutes after her cab left , another one came down the road and stopped in front of the house . But this one didn 't wait . This one just turned around , backed into the weeks , and headed in the direction of the highway . " Well , " I said , " I don 't blame you . Hopping tables is no joke . You wear your legs off up to your knees and all you get for it is a dime or a quarter . " " He never bothered me before , " she said . " Not until today . He kept looking at me , but that part was all right . Then today I was in the storeroom and he came in and slammed the door shut . He wasn 't going to let me out . He said he had all the other girls and that he was going to have me . " " I think I may have called him that . I don 't know . I was scared and I yelled at him . It was the yelling that made him stop . He asked me to be quiet , begged me not to make so much noise , and then he said I was finished . But I had already quit . I quit the moment he came in there and closed that door and said what he did . " " I thought of you , Clint , of how everything is so wonderful with us . What he suggested was dirty . " She blinked away a couple of tears and managed a smile . " Are there many men like him ? " I felt cheap and dirty . She believed in me and I was misleading her . In that instant I wondered what she would do after I was gone , what she would think of me . Would she hate me - and all men ? I had seen it happen before . She was a toy in the hands of fate , in my hands , and anything that happened to her wouldn 't be right . " I know . I saw him . I had the cab stop and I tried to get him to come home with me but he wouldn 't . He said he was old enough to know his own mind , to know what he wanted to do . " I shrugged . " It isn 't unusual . It happens lots of times . There may be nothing to worry about . They 'll spend a few evenings together and then it will end . " " I wouldn 't say so if I didn 't . The girl was out here just a little while ago , looking for him , and she 's lonely . So is he . It 's a natural thing for them to share what they feel . " " No , not the way we do . In another way . It 's like a brother and a sister finding comfort in each other 's company . It doesn 't have to mean anything beyond that . " It was rather early to take her to town but if we ever got inside that house she wouldn 't want to leave , and if I took her down in the boat she would see the grease on the floor and the bunks and would know that something was up . Maybe I was being too cautious about the arrangements but it was better to be safe than sorry . What she didn 't know wouldn 't bother her . " He won 't be home , " she said . " He won 't be home until late . We can swim and fix hamburgers over the charcoal spit and just relax . " She was going to be difficult and that wasn 't good . If she didn 't want to go to town I couldn 't force her . She had a mind of her own and she was very capable of using it . " You don 't know how cheap I felt going in that hotel with you , " she said . " And the way that clerk looked at us . He knew why we were there . I wouldn 't do it again , Clint . This has to be right for me or it isn 't right at all . I can 't hide in a strange room for a few hours , wondering what people will say , what they will think . I want this to be the best for us and I don 't want to share what we have . " She ran to the house and up the steps and I returned to The Shark . Things were going rather badly but even in my frustration I could see her point of view . She must have felt like a prostitute going to that hotel room with me . Why it was different there than at home I didn 't know , but as long as she was of that opinion I had little chance of swaying her . Together we dove off the dock and we swam for quite a while . She was an excellent swimmer and once she pulled me under . When I came up she was laughing and her wet lips kissed me on the mouth . " This is the life , " she said . " Perfect . " " It was quite a lot of money , Clint . It was more than you 've had at any one time since you 've been here . I know that . It 's got me worried . I don 't want you to do something wrong just to help us . " " How much can you earn from a party ? When I stopped and talked with my father I offered him ten dollars , thinking that he didn 't have any money , and he showed me a fifty dollar bill . I asked him where he got it but he wouldn 't say . I know he must have gotten it from you . And you don 't lend out or give away fifty dollars on the strength of one party . " " I trust you . You know that . I trust you in more ways than one . But Clint , hardly anybody takes a boat out at night unless they 're up to something . Are you , Clint ? Are you up to something ? " " I don 't know . I didn 't ask . They have a truck come down about nine o ' clock and they load up the boat . What they take is their own business . " She lay back on the sand and twisted her head so she could look at me . The front of her suit had gone down lower , just clinging to the shelf of her breasts . The hollow between them was warm and deep and dark . " I 've read about Cuba . All they do is fight or talk about fighting . Once , a long time ago , somebody wanted my father to run guns but he wouldn 't do it . " Her eyes grew wide . " Is that what you 're doing , Clint ? " " I 'm afraid , Clint . Afraid for you . If you 're doing what I think you 're doing something awful could happen to you . I didn 't like the looks of the man or the girl . They were hard . " She kept on talking but I didn 't listen to her . No matter what I did she would stick by me . I had gone to a lot of trouble for nothing . Her love for me was bigger than the world in which she lived , bigger than right or wrong , even bigger than her loyalty to her father . " Oh , I don 't mean because of you , " she was quick to say . " It 's just that some girls get what they go after . And she looks like a man - eater . " I was up early - Vera and I had made love the night before on the deck and we had gotten some sleep - and when I jumped down to the dock Betty was there waiting for me . She had on that black bathing suit but as I looked at her I didn 't see Betty Stearns . I saw Vera Gordon , her fluid body pale in the moonlight , felt the fury of her lips on my mouth , sensed again the excitement that had flooded through me . It had been a good trip , the sea peaceful , and we hit the cove right on the nose . Gordon was sore because we were a little late but I told him I had some trouble with one of the engines . That , however , was not true . I had experienced quite a lot of difficulty getting away from Betty . She had wanted to go along and it had taken me a half an hour , plus something else , to convince her that she shouldn 't , that it wasn 't any place for her . " Then the cab driver got mad and wouldn 't have anything more to do with us . He kept hollering for his money and after he got it he drove off . We had to wait an hour for another cab from Key West . " I froze up inside . Rose should have stayed in town and not come out to the house . When she was drinking she talked and she seldom cared much about what she said . " Important ! Nothing seems to be important to you , Clint . First it 's that thing about those other people and then it 's this about your former wife . Don 't you think I 'd like to know these things ? " " No , I won 't come off it . I lay there all night wondering if you really love me . I even cried . I couldn 't help it . " " What am I to believe ? This girl shows up , you give my father money and he gets drunk with her . It almost looks as though you planned it that way , that you wanted it that way . Did you ? " " I don 't know what you would do . " Her face was filled with misery . " I just don 't know . I thought I did but something has happened . Something has changed . " She was getting out of control and this meant problems . If she decided to go to Stearns about what I was doing the old man might get his back up and put a hitch in my plans . The only thing I could do with her was to make her feel that I wanted her , that I had to have her . The boat was handy , her father was drunk and the road was clear . She kept moving backward , away from me , but I finally caught her shoulders and pulled her in close . I kissed her on the mouth , hard , but she didn 't return the kiss . She was like a shock of wheat in my arms , limp , unresponding . " Not until there 's a ring on my finger , Clint . When you put that ring on my finger I 'll be yours , all yours . But until that time it can 't be like that for us . I 'm not going to worry , to be afraid . It 's different with you . You could leave me tomorrow and there isn 't a thing I could do about it . You had one wife and you 're divorced from her . With me you just have to walk out and never come back . " " I 'm not saying you would . I just don 't want to expose myself . I 've read that when a girl gives herself to a man before marriage it changes the whole aspect of love . I wasn 't sure about it then and I 'm not sure about it now but I don 't want to take a chance . You have had other girls . I know you have . Who am I to think I 'm better ? " This whole argument was pointless . Regardless of what I said I wouldn 't be able to convince her of my sincerity . She had arrived at a conclusion and there would be no swaying her from it . " All right , " she agreed . " But you be careful . Don 't get yourself into any trouble and don 't get us into any either . " After she was gone I ht a cigarette and thought about things . I should never have fooled around with her in the first place . She was looking for the end of a rainbow and she had made up her mind that I was at the end of it . Well , I wasn 't . She had to go her way and I had to go mine . There was nothing for us to share . I was still standing on the dock , wishing that all of the trips to Cuba were over , when a cab arrived and stopped . I knew who it was even before she got out . Rose . Rose after more money . I dropped the cigarette into the water and watched her approach . She was wearing a red dress that was all shape and her high heels made a lot of noise on the rough planks of the dock . " Not a hundred . " She smelled fresh and clean , like she had just gotten out of a shower or a bath . " Not a hundred this time , Clint . " " Then the whole batch . Three hundred . I 'm taking a chance on you , though . I don 't even know if you 'll be around to earn it . " " What if you didn 't ? I say to myself , Rose , you 're being a damned fool . I say to myself , Rose , he 's up to something big or he wouldn 't give you a nickel for your time . Am I right ? " " We aren 't talking about that now . We 're talking about a thousand , a cool thousand that can give me a fresh start . I know you , Clint . For some reason or other you want old man Stearns out of the way every night . You say it 's worth a hundred a night . I say it 's worth a thousand . " She smiled brightly . " And what I say goes or the arrangement is done . " " You talk too much , " I told her , pocketing the three hundred . " You told his daughter that we had been married . There was no reason for that . " " No , I didn 't . I told him that I had known you but nothing more . He thought he had stolen me away from you and he was worried about it . Isn 't that a laugh ? " " I won 't take off . I 'll do what I said I would do . Frankly , I don 't mind the old man . He keeps his hands to himself , drinks and talks . I can put up with it for three nights more . " I laughed . " You don 't think I keep that amount of money on the ship , do you ? I 'll have to come into town , get it out of the bank and bring it to you . " " And just thinking about you does something to me . " I left the phone and walked to the elevator and got on . The girl who operated the elevator gave me a smile but I was hardly aware of it . Vera was mine , all mine , and she wanted me just as much as I wanted her . " What are you talking about , Clint ? The deal was already made by my father . All I do is check in to let them know the boat will be ready . " She untied the bow at the top of the negligee and my head began to throb . The throb started at my eyes and went all the way back to my neck . She was the most desirable creature I had ever known and I had to sit there and talk business with her . " I don 't know . I 've asked myself that question a hundred times and I always get the same answer . I don 't know . " Silence crept into the room . From outside I could hear the sounds of traffic in the street below . Somebody knocked on one of the doors further down the hall and a man shouted a reply . I felt uncomfortable and rubbed my chin . How do you answer something like that ? You love a girl and you play around with somebody else , but you don 't come right out and tell her what you 've done . " It 's all right , " she said softly . " She is pretty and I don 't blame you . But there 's something bad about it - it could complicate matters . If she 's angry with you she might go to the police . That wouldn 't be healthy for any of us . " I didn 't look at her just then . I couldn 't look at her . If I looked at her the need for her would overpower me and I wouldn 't be able to say what I had to say . " Look , Vera . Look at it this way . Something may happen and it may not but let 's not run the risk . I 've got seven thousand , a little better , salted away . It 's a start . Others have made a go on less . We can go to Mexico , just as we planned , and when we come back I can get into something safe . The boat is worth quite a bit of money and we could sell that . It wouldn 't be as much as it would be this way but it would be honest . Don 't you see ? " " Do you know what they would do to him ? " she asked . " The ones behind this . They would kill him or have him killed . And Clint - the same thing could happen to you . " " They know who you are . They know your boat . No matter where we went they would find you and they would find my father . You commit yourself to doing a job and you just can 't walk out on it when it 's only partly finished . It 's one of the conditions you accept when you take a job , isn 't it ? " " But they can 't . There isn 't time . They - the people behind this - know much about Cuba , know when the time is right . The time is now , immediately . The men are ready , some of them from Mexico , and they need the guns and ammunition . Everything else is set . This is all that has to be done . An additional week might be too late . Another week might mean failure . And they don 't intend to fail - because of you or my father or anybody else . There is too much in the balance for that Clint too much . Lives don 't count . Only success for the revolution . " " No , not this time . The people we work for only want control , nothing else . Some will have to leave Cuba but there won 't be any mass killings . " " I don 't know . Maybe they are . Maybe not . I 've met only one of them , with my father , and he seemed all right . " I lay down on the bed , knowing that I couldn 't change the way my life was going , conscious of her being near to me . I didn 't want anything to happen to her or to her father or to myself , for that matter . I had gone into this with my eyes wide open and if what I saw didn 't appeal to me it was my own fault . " It is worth it , Clint . We won 't be rich but we won 't be poor , either . And we 'll never have to be afraid . That 's important to you and it 's important to me . If we left them now , if we gave it up , we would never know when death would be around the next corner . This way we have no worries . " " Why wouldn 't they ? I 'm in this , too . My father is in Cuba and I 'm here in Florida . It 's up to me to see that the guns keep moving . I would be as much to blame as you are , or more . They have my father , so they wouldn 't have to look for him . But they would hunt for us and they would find us . If there were any other way , any possible way , I would go with you . I would forget about it too . But I 'm scared , Clint . Terribly scared . " I put my arm around her , beneath her shoulders . She was shaking . I caressed her , lying there and thinking . The world was a big place but if somebody wanted to get you it could always be done . It might take time and money but if the desire were there it would simply be question of time . I didn 't want her to be frightened , jumping whenever a door opened or a strange man passed near her . I wanted her safe and secure , all of her loveliness mine , all of her body and mind belonging to me . And seven thousand wasn 't much money . We wouldn 't be able to go far on it . We wouldn 't be able to go far enough . The alternative was to do the job and get paid for it . Once the job was completed we would have nothing to worry about . We could go where we wanted to go , do what we wished to do . No one would be following us . Our lives would be ours to live and the past would soon fade away . Maybe running guns wasn 't right . But maybe a lot of things weren 't right . Who was I to judge ? Our own country had been given birth because of a revolution and perhaps this same thing was right for Cuba . If Americans had money invested there no one could blame them for trying to recover it . If a man loses a dime he looks for it . If the same man loses a million he fights for it . We kissed and clung together . Her lips were demanding , her body filled with fury . I could feel the burning desire of her flesh beneath my searching hands . Later , after I left the hotel , I felt ashamed of myself for having shown my weakness , for having wanted to pull out . There was nothing to be alarmed about . The first two trips had gone fine and there was no reason to believe that this wouldn 't be true of the others . In less than a hundred hours the task would be done and we would be on our way to Mexico . There would be a considerable sum of money in the boat 's safe and the future would be bright . " The thousand is cheaper , " I said . " And better . When you made a path away from my door it was for good . I made a fool out of myself over you before and I wouldn 't do it again for another ten years added to my life . " I counted out the thousand and the man opposite counted right along with me . Here , " I said , handing it to her . " I 'm keeping my part of the bargain and I expect you to keep yours . " " I would rather have you . I would rather have what we lost . But if I can 't have you then I have to settle for the money . " She leaned back , closing her eyes . " I don 't know what it will buy , " she said . " I don 't know what it will bring . All I know is that you have to have money or you 're a nobody . " She opened her eyes and looked at me . " I hope the money you 're making will bring you some kind of happiness . " " You 're into something that 's bigger than you are , Clint . I can tell . I didn 't live with you for nothing . When you 're worried you have a little cough that I doubt if you even notice . You 've done it four times sitting here . And you did it before . " " Well , it 's true . We 're no longer husband and wife but the memories come back , Clint , and they mean something . I thought when I left you that they would never bother me , but they have . I didn 't have to return to Key West . I said there was nothing else but there is always something else and somewhere to go . No one is alone in this life , not unless he wants to be . I think you are - but I don 't think you know it . " " You 'll get more than that . You 'll get every dollar 's worth . I 'll keep Mr . Stearns so busy that he won 't even know that he 's got a dock , let alone what you 're doing - maybe with his daughter - while he 's away . " Her voice softened . " I don 't want it like this for us , Clint . You know that . I 've told you . I 've changed in two years and so have you - me for the better and you for the worse . " She shook her head . " No , not that . The truth . And the truth hurts , doesn 't it ? Oh , I know how you look on me . I 'm no better than a prostitute , a woman who would chase any man . " " That was before . This is now . I said that I had changed and I meant it . What I want now is a home and kids and a normal life . I want a husband to love me and I want to live with him until the day I die . Is that unusual ? Is that something to be ashamed of ? I don 't think so . I 'm ashamed of the past , of what I have been , but I think that out of it all I can become a better person . Experience is a bitter teacher ; still there is nothing like it I know what makes a man happy , what makes him unhappy . How many women know that ? Less than you would think . Does the girl at the dock know ? Does she ? " " I won 't shut up . I 'm trying to fight for something that I want . Something that I need . I would be less than a woman if I didn 't . " She reached into her pocketbook and removed the money . " Do you think this matters ? Do you think this counts ? It isn 't anything at all compared to what I really want . " I stood up . This conversation with her was pointless . She didn 't love me , she had never loved me . She thought I had a few bucks and she wanted a part of it . So I had paid her , and paid her in advance . What complaint did she have ? I laughed at her . She didn 't know what this was all about , couldn 't even guess . As long as she did her part with Stearns , keeping him busy and drunk , the road ahead was clear . I left her sitting there , her legs still crossed , and moved across the lobby to the big front door . I was sweating and I knew why . Some of the things she said had made sense . THE THIRD and fourth trips went very well and Rose kept her part of the agreement . Stearns went to town every evening and one night he took on so much booze that he did not get back to the house until nine the next morning . I was checking over The Shark , looking to see if anything had to be done before the final haul , and saw him fall flat on his face when he got out of the taxi . The taxi driver wouldn 't help him , just drove off , and I walked up to see what I could do . She made a face and held the screen door open . I carried him inside and up the stairs . He wasn 't very heavy but by the time I reached the top I was breathing heavily . I took him into one of the rooms and put him on the bed . It was hot in the room , and I opened the window . Before I left he was sound asleep and snoring loudly . " I will . I certainly will have it my way . The last few nights I have seen what goes on here and I don 't like it . I don 't like the girl who drives out in that big Imperial and I don 't like what you 're doing . It 's time we settled this one way or the other , Clint . " Her anger was not unexpected . She had been very cold the last couple of days , hardly speaking to me . Once when she was in swimming and I had joined her she had left the water . " She 's the boss , " I said . " You don 't fight with the boss just because she happens to be a pretty girl . She has to go with me . I don 't ask her . " She slid down from the railing and stretched , her hands over her head . I hadn 't touched her in days and I had the urge to rip that suit off her . Her father was drunk upstairs ; he wouldn 't know . And this would be the last time , the very last . I would never be after her again . Once this night was done I would have everything that I wanted . " I know how long it takes for you to make Cuba and back , " Betty said . " I know when you leave and I know when you return . " She smiled , faintly . " You must have fun either going or coming . " I didn 't know why I was fooling around with her . All I had to do was get through the day and the night and it would be all over . I had talked with Vera 's father the night before and he had said he would go to Mexico with us but that he would leave us there . I didn 't know what he was going to do with himself and I hadn 't asked . The less I saw of him the better . We could have talked about it all morning and gotten no further than we were . She had looked for one thing in me and had found something else . It wasn 't my fault . Circumstances alter a man , after all . I slung the shirt over one shoulder and returned to The Shark but I didn 't do any work . I went down inside , opened the safe and counted the money . It was a wonderful feeling to be able to count so much money . It was even better to hold it in my hands . Here was security , here was the promise of tomorrow and all the tomorrows that would come after that . Here was my life with Vera , here was the guarantee against poverty and uncertainty . That afternoon I thought of going into town to see her but refrained from doing so . She said that she had many things to do and that she would be busy until it was time for the truck to come out . I settled on going out to the dock and lying in the sun . " I don 't go through it with her . She isn 't that kind . We have dinner and a few drinks and just talk , nothing else . I stay with her until about eleven and then she sees me off in a cab . The trouble is I don 't come right back to the place . I get to thinking and I hit one bar after another . Last night was the roughest . Last night I ran into a woman about my own age and we got along fine . I wanted to see her tonight but she 's tied up , sitting with her grandchildren . And I did want to see the girl again . Rose has been nice to me , Clint . I can talk to her and she listens . " " No , I mean it . This is my last night with the booze and then I 'm going on the wagon again . The woman I told you about seems steady and decent and she doesn 't care much for drinking . She drinks only ginger ale and I guess if it 's good enough for her it 's good enough for me . Starting tomorrow I 'm going back at the turtles . If I can get the boat cleaned up I may be able to get a few fishing parties . The way I look at it I 've just been horsing around and getting nowhere fast . A man can 't keep himself hanging up in the air forever . " " You have to have a purpose in this life , Clint , or you 're licked . That 's been the trouble with me these last few years - no purpose . All I 've done is go from one day to the other and let the next day take care of itself . " He rambled on and I lay back , listening to him . He had a fine dock , he was saying , and if he worked things right he ought to get enough boats out of Key West to meet the bank payments with the rent paid him . As for Betty , she could take care of the house until someday when she found a man she wanted to marry . " They could live with me , " he said . " I could use one room and they could have the rest of the house . I wouldn 't bother them any . " He glanced toward the sea . " It 's a good place to raise kids , a fine place to raise them . And after they get older the school bus goes right down the highway . " I didn 't have much to say to him and he finally left . In a way , I was sorry that I wouldn 't be seeing him again . He wasn 't a bad guy . Later that afternoon I took the boat down to Key West and got a load of fuel . The tanks were big and we would have enough to take us to Cuba and then on to Mexico . On the return trip I opened her up and let her run . Those thin head gaskets had boosted the compression of the motors and I could feel the surging thrust of power beneath me . I shot past a sail boat , pushed down a mountain of waves , and I laughed . I felt good . Hell , I felt more than good . I felt tops . After tying up at the dock I went below and tried to get some sleep , but I couldn 't . When I closed my eyes the past was all jumbled up with the future and my nerves were taut . I lay there , sweating and smoking , trying to think . What if something went wrong ? But nothing could go wrong . The four previous trips had gone off well and there was no reason to believe that the last one would be an exception . All we had to do was make Cuba , unload the guns and ammunition , and take off . Mexico was the next stop . After that the world would be mine . The truck arrived early that night , shortly after eight , and we began loading the heavy cartons . Vera came out in the truck and she came on board , carrying a suitcase . She was wearing shorts and a halter and her hair was tied back with a red ribbon . There were four men with the truck but even with me helping it took us longer than half an hour to get everything put away . As soon as we were finished she paid the men . One of them thanked her but the others didn 't . They shuffled off into the gathering darkness , talking in low tones . The Shark moved on through the night , the darkness all around us . The moon was clouded over and I could see only a couple of stars . She put her arm around my waist and snuggled up to me . Every once in a while we kissed and when we did my need for her felt greater than any other need possible . " No , but it 's serious . Every gun is important . Every bullet . Once the revolution is started it can 't be stopped . It will spread through the island and destroy everything in its path . Or be destroyed , " he added . " We 've done our best . No one can ask for more . " Previously I had not helped unload the guns but this night I did . I was anxious to get out of there , to leave Cuba behind . Tomorrow we would be in Mexico and tomorrow we would be free . Before we left , the other American came on board and talked with Gordon . They were at the other end of the boat and I couldn 't hear what they said but I thought they were arguing . When the stranger departed he told me to take it easy and I told him to do likewise . I thought I saw it . The facts were there and there was no disputing them . I had ran their guns for the revolution , and I had the money in the safe . It was neat a glove that would fit either hand . " It had to be somebody , " she said . " It happened to be you . Don 't feel bad about it . " She then spoke to Gordon . " The money is on the boat . " They were going to strip me clean . I wouldn 't have a thing for what I had done . They would take the money and I would be right back where I started . " You 've got no complaints , " Gordon said . " You did all right on that pitch in South America and you 're doing all right here . You stick with me and you can make more than you do by selling yourself to any guy who comes along . " I was sick , sick . She was worse than Rose , worse than any of them . She had given me her body and I had accepted it . I was finding out now that her body was the only payment I would ever get . She was something less than a common prostitute . Silence fell over the boat . There were just the sounds of the motors and the slap of the water against the hull . I checked the compass and changed direction . I was no longer interested in Mexico . I just wanted to get out of this , to find a bar and drown the whole miserable mess . How had I loved her ? Had I really ? Those were the questions that raced through my mind . I closed my eyes , feeling the gun at my back , and saw Betty 's face . I tried to change that face , to put Vera 's in place of it , but the illusion wouldn 't come . The face was there , smiling , encouraging . Was it love ? Maybe . She was a clean girl , fine in every way , and she bad given herself to me . She had given all that a girl could possibly give and she had asked for nothing except consideration . I had been unfair with her , brutally so , and I had accepted her as I had accepted other girls . Guilt filled me then , the hollow guilt of knowing that I had been wrong . She deserved more and she deserved something better . If I ever got out of this - " The car will be there , " Vera said . " I arranged for a man to bring it from town . I didn 't want him to wonder why I hadn 't stored it . " I tried to figure how I could get out of this fix but he had a gun behind me and you don 't argue with a gun . That is , you can argue but you can 't win . Your belly develops a hole that nobody can fix . " You had your fun , " Vera said . " What you didn 't get from the Stearns ' girl you got from me . " She sighed . " It wasn 't bad , I have to admit that . You are a rather adequate lover . " I started to reach for a cigarette but the gun prodded me and I changed my mind . We still had quite a distance to go but he could kill me and throw me over the side and no one would ever know the difference . I didn 't know what he knew about boats , if anything , but almost anybody could get The Shark to shore . " They 're all the same , " Gordon said . " A guy owns a boat and he wants to make a small fortune with it . Where do they think I get off ? I arrange for the guns , plan the details , and I only pick up fifty grand for all of my work . Am I going to split that with anybody ? Like hell I am . If I kill the pig I 'm going to have the meat . " We continued on toward the Florida Keys . He kept the gun at my back and none of us said anything . There was nothing much to say . I had walked into a trap and the trap had closed . I was bitter about it , of course , but I also realized that if you reach for the moon you 're apt to wind up with nothing . And that 's just what I had - nothing . Nothing but that money in the safe , money that might cost me my life if I tried to keep it . " So we will . " I glanced at Vera . " You thought you were smart , didn 't you ? You talked about Mexico and having the money with us so that it would be right here . " " You fell for something else , too , " Gordon said . " Remember the two men who jumped you that night ? They were my men . I wanted you broke , wanted you flat . It 's easier to hire a guy when he comes to you on his knees . " He moved the gun . " Let 's go , fellow . We 're wasting time and in my business we don 't waste time . " It was a crazy thing to do , but I went for the gun . He was behind me and he had the advantage . Before I could even turn around he hit me over the head , splitting my scalp , and I felt the hot , sticky rush of blood . He almost did . That gun was all over my head , and I felt my knees growing weak . I grabbed for the wheel , missed it and fell down . Desperately I tried to get up , to reach for his legs , but he had moved away from me and the gun was pointed straight at my face . Down inside the boat I had difficulty remembering the combination to the safe . Was it eighty - four to the right or eighty - four to the left ? Cursing I tried both . It was eighty - four to the left . Back up on the deck he told me to get underway again . I did . I squinted into the sun , trying to blink away my terrible headache , and I knew that my face was caked with blood . I ran one of my hands through my hair and discovered three or four cuts . One of them was deep and still bleeding . The Imperial was parked near the house and they drove away . As soon as they had gone I lay down on the deck of The Shark and made an effort to keep from crying . I couldn 't . Everything was gone . Everything . I had nothing left . IF YOU write to a chamber of commerce in Florida you 'll be sent a nicely printed folder that tells you all about the attractive features of the state . One of the things stressed , if it comes from Key West , is that the fishing is good . It is . I ought to know because I make my living at it . A living for me and my wife . The tourists keep me pretty busy . The Shark is a sleek boat and I have come to know the fishing grounds as well as I know daylight from dark . Sometimes I have a full load , sometimes a light one , but at the end of the day I have made my nut . I like the end of the day best . It is then that I can think , that I can remember . And she is always there , close to me , loving me , her lips warm and soft . " I love you , " she says . " And I love you . " Some of the tourists who come on board The Shark leave newspapers behind and if I 'm at the dock , waiting for new customers , I spend my time reading . The other day I saw Vera 's picture in one of the papers . Beneath the picture was her death notice . She and Gordon were killed running guns in one of the South American countries . I wondered , reading it for the second time , what good the money had done them . They were dead and I was alive . I seldom see Betty except on weekends , and I have noticed that she has diseased the black bathing suit . She wears something red that fits her and when her boy friend comes out from town - he 's a lawyer , I think - they swim near the dock . We 're friendly and we speak but it doesn 't go beyond that . It never will again . She has her life and I have mine . We don 't have very much , just each other and the boat and fifteen hundred dollars in the bank . The fifteen hundred is the money I paid her to entertain Stearns - the money she offered me when they took me to the hospital to patch up my head . I was in the hospital only two days but she was with me every chance she could get . She is a changed girl , a good wife , and I think we will make out fine . There is no reason why we shouldn 't . We have made mistakes , but we learned from them . Others may not be so fortunate . April 26 , 2010 at 3 : 02 am [ … ] Full Text : Add the chops on " Orrie Hitt : The mean … My own cigarette went into the water and made other fish to pass it on . I yawned and looked back toward the house . " Thanks for Nothing , " I said . " If you did not Cuba 're but not wanted in Cuba . Who am I to set up translation ASHO ? … . I a couple of glasses from the shelf above the sink and had poured some rum in each . ? " What is with you and to me this afternoon , " she smiled . " That is something else . This is a woman 's secret . " I see . " I would not understand , and I could not tell him …