I have trouble sitting still . I seem to need something to keep me busy whether it 's a book to read or something to keep my hands moving . Even when I go down to the lake with Zach and sit on the beach , I bring something along to keep some part of me moving . Yesterday , I brought some felt and beads to work with , but after a while , I realized that I was missing out on some amazing views of my boy doing what he does best - being a free spirit . I put my handwork down and just sat and enjoyed the wonder that is Zach . I love this picture with Zach in the background running along the lake shore . Sometimes I need to remind myself to put stuff down and be willing to sit still and simply watch ; to pick up my head and look for the extraordinary in the ordinary . I took a walk down to the water and found this amazing stone art that was left behind by some creative person . Every little detail had me fascinated . This sweet , young couple came down to the lake and sat on the big log that always seems to be in a new place when we arrive at the beach . I couldn 't help but think of David and I when we were on our honeymoon and so in love . We sat on beaches like this and sat just like that . This couple were trying to take pictures of themselves and so I asked them if they wanted me to take some for them with their camera . They stood up and posed a few times and then I told them how adorable they looked sitting on the log and asked if they wanted me to take a picture like that . When they were looking through the pictures I took , that was their favorite one . As enjoyable as it is to sit on the beach and work on something I love , I 'm so glad that I put my work down and looked around to see what other moments of wonder and peace other people were taking in . I 'm glad I got to share in some of those moments , as well . Posted at 09 : 51 AM in Adventures , Everyday life , Lake Champlain , Summer 2012 , Zach | Permalink I couldn 't ask for better Sundays this summer . They 've been absolutely amazing . I 've been treasuring each one . The weather has been so delightful . Yesterday , I took my girl - dogs with me on my and Zach 's weekly jaunt down to the lake . I love that we only live a two and a half mile drive from our little town beach . When we lived in our old apartment on the main road , we were only a mile and a half farther away but for some reason , we just didn 't go down to the lake as often as we do now . I don 't think it has to do with the fact that we 're a mile and a half closer . I think it has a lot to do with the pace of our life these days . Zach loves to hang out down there and catch his fish , we started adopting dogs when we bought our house four years ago and they love playing in the water , and I 've been intentional in finding ways to take moments to breathe , relax , and enjoy the peace around me in settings like this . I 've always been fond of nature and being outside , but it 's been hard for me in the past to settle down long enough in my physical pace and in my spirit to be able to sit still and enjoy what 's going on around me . I love watching my dogs play in the water . Their sense of adventure never gets old to me . I was never a dog person until we adopted our own dogs . My girl - dogs are my two best buddies . The adoration goes both ways and we hate being apart . Sometimes Zach and I go to the lake alone and I feel so awful leaving them behind . Yesterday , I took them with me . It makes me laugh to hear them carrying on in the truck as we drive down the road to the beach parking lot . Tovah ( the black dog ) pants and paces and Willow ( the blonde dog ) whines and bobs her head up and down , looking for a quick exit from the truck . As soon as the door opens , they 're out and gone ! I played fetch in the water with them for a while and got them all tuckered out and eventually , they settled down in the grass next to me while I worked on a zine about my grandfather . Tovah is 4 years old now . We adopted her the same month we moved into our house ( August 2008 ) . She was just 15 weeks old at the time and was born at the shelter we adopted her from . Tovah is a Husky / Rottweiler mix and she 's been my right - hand dog ever since and I can 't imagine my life without this sweetheart . She 's so docile and such a " mama 's girl . " Willow is 3 years old and is a Husky / White Shepherd mix that we adopted in September of 2009 . She was six months old when we brought her home and she set herself up as the Alpha right away . She 's my cuddle bug and loves to snuggle . Huskies tend to be " talkers , " meaning that they are very vocal in the sense that they act like they 're carrying on a conversation . Here 's a video that I took of Willow a few months after we brought her home so you can see what I mean about her " talking " : Willow asking for pet - pets . I love that she freaks people out with her yellow eyes and her talking when people see her for the first time . I remember having that same feeling when I went to adopt her . I thought that maybe she was growling at me because she didn 't like me , but soon found out that it was because she DID like me and wanted to get to know me . When she barks at people , that 's when she 's cautious . If she talks to people , her butt usually wiggles and that 's a good sign . I just found another video of Willow talking : Get Down , Willow ! Zach doesn 't wiggle his butt , but he does love to talk to people . Here he is with his catch of minnows from yesterday . He made sure to put some pebbles in from the beach , along with some seaweed . He takes all of this home with him and creates a " habitat " ( this is what he calls it ) in a 10 gallon tank so the fish have something that looks natural to swim around in . The next day , he takes the fish back to the lake , lets them go , and catches all new fish and creates a whole new habitat for them . His sense of wonderment never gets old . : ) Just another amazing summer Sunday . Zach loves to catch fish down at the creek or the lake , but it 's been almost impossible to get him to use our pool . I think this is only the third time we 've been able to talk him into going in the pool this summer . When he was two years old , Zach loved the water ! My parents had a pool that we would take him into with his little lifejacket on . I remember swimming in the big pool at the state park down the road from my parents ' old house and he would run to the edge of the deep end and jump in , completely confident that his lifejacket would protect him and he would pop right back up out of the water . I thought , " We 've got ourselves a little fish ! " The next year , though , he didn 't want anything to do with the lake or big pools . He was terrified of them . The most he would do was sit in the little wading pool we put in the backyard and god - forbid that anyone splash him . As he got a little older , his interventionists during the summer would try to coax him into the pool in town . No matter what they offered him or how much encouragement they threw his way , he refused to go past his knees even though he could see the bottom of the pool and know that it wasn 't going to be over his head . I don 't know what made him transition from being so in love with water to scared of it , but it was a long time until we could finally get him to go past his knees and start learning to be comfortable with it . Two years ago , when he was 11 , we signed him up for swimming lessons at the town pool . Between the swimming instructor and his interventionists , they were able to get him into the pool and up to his neck in water . That summer , we couldn 't keep him out of our pool at home . He loved swimming and was so proud of his doggy paddle . When the fall and winter came around , he was so bummed that he couldn 't go in the pool so his personal care worker would bring him to the fitness club a few towns over to use their pool . I wish that I had a picture of the first time he put his head under water . We had gone to Rochester , NY in May of 2011 and whLast year , he wasn 't interested at all again . He did his swimming lessons , but wouldn 't get into the pool at home . He was content just to wade in the lake and catch fish . This year started out the same . He went in to cool off once on his own and then again last week when he was really sweaty and I suggested he go in . Today , he asked me for a pair of shorts so that he could go in the pool with David . That really surprised me . I don 't know if David suggested it or if Zach thought of it on his own , but it was nice to see him using AND enjoying his time in the pool today . Look how much bigger he 's gotten in two year 's time ! And how long his hair is now ! He wanted to show me how he could go under water . He 's worked really hard at this during his swimming lessons this year . In fact , he 's been swimming in the 12 - foot deep end of the pool without lifejacket ! Here he was showing us how he swims at the town pool . He 's been watching the swimming competitions from the Olympics the past couple of days and is enamored by them . What really took his breath away was watching the synchronized diving tonight . That just blew his mind . I really think that this summer with Girly being away and Zach being at home has been good for both of the kids . They 've had a chance to do things apart from each other and I can see a lot of growth in Zach and even growth in Girly through the letters she 's written home . I love the time that Zach and I have gotten to spend together as just the two of us . Sundays are definitely my favorite day with him . We hang out at the lake and talk about all sorts of things . I think I learn more from him than I could ever impart to him . We did do our lake jaunt this afternoon , too , but I 'll put those pictures in another post . It 's ironic that this boy - child of mine never liked to have his routine switched up but now that he 's older , he 's very spontaneous as long as it 's on his terms . His interest in something can be diverted so quickly that it makes my head spin . I suppose it 's only fair that I be flexible with him because I expected it so much from him when he was younger . As Zach and I were driving home from church on Sunday , I drove slowly over the railroad tracks about a mile from our house . He likes this because it enables him to look both ways down the track to see if there 's a train coming . If there was , I would have had to stop because he loves to watch the train cars go by . He can sit for hours at the computer and watch YouTube videos of trains if we let him . As I drove past the tracks , Zach insisted that we stop so he could walk over them so I pulled off to the side and let him do just that . I had no idea that Zach 's plan was to walk across the trestle and to the other side . Underneath the trestle is a 20 - foot drop to a creek and a lot of rocks . I tried to get him to turn around and come back but he was having no part of it . I got close enough to the trestle to see that , even if his foot slipped , there wasn 't enough room for him to go completely through . He leg would go through probably to his thigh , but that 's it . I breathed a little sigh of relief and let my child be the spontaneous adventurer he wanted to be . He was oh - so - proud of himself when he reached the other side . Then he made his way back . When he got back , he told me that he was a little scared because he could see between the rails down into the gorge but he wanted to be brave and conquer his fears . The rails were quite hot on Sunday so he didn 't keep his hand on there too long . His curiosity about everything around him is entertaining to watch and I usually learn so much in the process . He is full of random facts of information that astound me . When Zach does things that he is proud of himself for , he 's one to look back at it and stare with a feeling of accompliPosted at 06 : 26 PM in Adventures , Zach | Permalink He may be a teenager now , but that doesn 't stop him from the passions of his younger years . Bugs are something that Zach has loved for as long as I can remember . They 've captured his interest and his heart and it 's something I hope never fades . It 's part of what defines him . Since we moved to our house 4 years ago ( seen in the upper right corner ) , one of the traditions that Zach and I share through the " cricket months , " as Zach likes to call them , is to go across the street so that he can go cricket hunting . I bring my lawn chair over and set it up in the field and bring the girl - dogs with me . I usually bring a book , but now I bring a textbook so I can keep on top of my college studies . I turn my chair towards the mountains and away from the road . When we first moved here , there was hay in this field . Last year , the farmer swapped crops and put corn in . Next year will probably be the last corn crop before it turns to hay again . I 'm not going to be able to enjoy this view from the field for too much longer . Eventually the corn will be too high and I won 't be able to fit my chair in there . It was a wee bit too hazy yesterday so Mt . Mansfield ( Vermont 's highest peak ) wasn 't visible . I love that I can see the Green Mountains the from the front of my house and the Adirondack Mountains ( in New York ) from the back of my house . We were truly blessed when we got this house . One of the many great things about our school district is that Zach is part of a program that works with autistic kids and they have 6 weeks of summer services . He 's in the program from 8 : 30 am to 2 : 30 pm Mondays through Fridays ( this week , though , they have vacation ) . They get to do all sorts of fun outings and some academic stuff to keep current so they don 't regress when they go back to school in the fall . Zach 's team has come up with some amazing ways to help with behavior modification and part of that is using a token system to earn things he likes . He was finally able to earn this Bug Podz Habitat Construction set that he 's been wanting for a while . He can build it however he wants to and he can also add on more if he ever wants to get another set . I think he 's changed the dynamics of the habitat two or three times since he brought it home on Friday . What he really want to put in there are fruit flies and a piece of banana and see how many multiply over a short amount of time . I told him that was fine with me as long as he let them go outside and not in the house ! Yes , we 've had trouble with him letting bugs out in the house MANY times . In fact , last week , he let a bunch of house flies in the house and we made him catch them all and put them back outside . I 'm wondering if it 's the " thrill of the hunt " for him . Here 's the only cricket that he was able to catch yesterday . They were very elusive and hiding under the rocks to stay cool and every time Zach picked up a rock , they would make a quick getaway . Here 's his " serious " face . The boy needs a shower bad ! : ) And here 's one that I took of me while I was sitting in the field . Posted at 01 : 03 PM in Adventures , Zach | Permalink Today has been a pretty lazy summer day . Last night , around 6 pm , I fell asleep on the couch and didn 't wake back up until 9 pm . I watched Whale Wars ( one of my favorite shows on Animal Planet ) and then headed to my computer to tool around online . I went back to bed at midnight and slept till 9 am . It was a lot of much needed sleep . I spent some time watering the garden before the sun was fully overhead as we haven 't had much rain at all this week . I don 't even remember the last time we had rain . It seems this hot and sunny weather is all we 've been having this summer . I found some really irritating beetles taking over my squash plants and looked them up online to find that they are cucumber beetles . They are nasty little buggers that go for anything in the squash family and eat away the leaves and infest the plant so that it wilts and dies . I 'm hoping that we 've caught them before they 've done too much damage . It 's a bit late in our abbreviated growing season up here in the northeast to plant more . I found a natural remedy online that I sprayed on the plants earlier today , making sure to get the mating couples that were " doing it " on my leaves . Ew ! If we lose these plants , I 'm going to be mighty put out . Last year , we had such a horrible growing season and the only thing we got out of our MASSIVE garden was green beans . We 're still eating them from the freezer , a year later ! I 've never had any trouble with striped cucumber beetles . In fact , this is the first time I 've ever seen them . There are SO many of them ! The last two years , we 've lost our tomato plants to blight . This year , I made sure to buy them from an organic grower that was at least 40 min . south of us so there was no worry of cross contamination in the air . I also rotate all of my vegetables so nothing grows in the same spot year after year . The tomatoes are looking really good and we have some green ones growing already . Now we 're just waiting until they start to ripen to see if we lose them or not . The last two years , just as the tomatoes ripened , they would get black on the bottom and shrivel all the way up in what seemed like overnight ! I 've already lost two of my broccoli plants , a pepper plant , one tomato plant , and an eggplant plant this year . I 'm not sure why . The other plants all look really healthy . Something is also getting to my bean plants this year , something we 've never had to worry about years before . I highly doubt we have any deer or rabbits , especially with 3 big dogs patrolling the yard . Nothing would even dare get close , so it must be bugs of some kind . Zach and I took a trip down to our town 's beach . It 's a little beach overlooking Kingsland Bay and something really only the locals know about . The water is really shallow for quite a ways out so you can walk out about 40 feet into the lake and it would only be up to about your waist . There 's a quick drop off farther out that make it possible for boats to moor out there , but it 's ideal for kids . The sandy beach is a great place to sit and read and there 's a nice green lawn above the beach with a couple of picnic tables . The lake level is a bit low right now since it 's been a while since we 've had any rain . Zach loves to fish in the shallows with his net . He 's pretty impressive when it comes to catching fish because he does it with a net with no handle . The " no handle " thing isn 't a special trick or anything . . . he just loses the handle or breaks it by accident . He caught a bunch of baby catfish , minnows ( he calls them Tuckerfish - not sure why but it 's a cute name that he 's called them sinThere was a little pop of color on the beach next to the large downed tree trunk that I was sitting on in the shade . I love wild flox . It grows in the most understated places . There was only this small bunch on this dry beach and it was perfect placement while I was reading some magazines . I love watching Zach on the beach . When he wants me to take him to the water , he always suggests , " Mom , can you take me to catch fish ? You can sit on the beach and read a book . It will be perfect ! " How can I say no to something like that ? I treasure those moments . Posted at 07 : 56 PM in Adventures , Zach | Permalink Ready for another round ? I know I say this a lot , but there really IS never a dull moment in the Martin household . Sometimes I picture God sitting up in heaven , his feet propped up on some pillows and he 's enjoying a bowl of popcorn while he watches the goings - on in our family . He doesn 't need TV because he has the Martin family to watch . Saturday night , we had planned to have some family and friends for poker night . It was kind of last minute since I had driven to NH to meet my mom half - way from RI to pick up my grandfather and bring him home . One by one , people backed out and by 7 pm , we assumed it was just going to be a quiet night at home . Quiet night at home ? Yeah , right ! Girly decided she wanted to do a make - over on David because I 'm allergic to make - up . Since she can 't do make - overs on me and there 's no way Zach would let her , David is usually game . He 's let her paint his nails in the past and he 's gone to work like that . The guys made fun of him but he 's quite secure in his sexuality . Girly put bright blue eye shadow on David and made it go all the way up to his eyebrows . It was at that moment , when she finished , that the dogs started barking and we knew someone was here . His buddy from work had shown up with his girlfriend , so that 's how David met them at the door . They made sure to tell him that he looked quite sexy , though I think it will be a while before the world can accept someone bringing sexy back that looks like that ! I only wish I had a picture to share with you ! Zach is up to his usual antics today and it all happened before 8 : 30 am . I looked in the kitchen to find Zach all the way at the top of the cupboards ( we have a slightly valuted ceiling in our house ) . He was doing it to get laughs from Girly and my neice and nephew . He got laughs from them but he didn 't get any from me . I told him to get down and that the cupboards are not made to hold his weight . His answer ? In the midst of writing this , before 10 am , Girly has managed to dump over a pitcher of pink lemonade all over the kitchen floor . Her way of cleaning it up is to throw a dish towel on the floor , stand on top of it and shimmy across the floor while pushing lemonade across the floor and not really cleaning it up . Seriously ? I give up . But back to Zach . He has a habit of cussing at inanimate objects when they don 't do what he wants them to do or something isn 't working out to his liking . He also has an affection for peanut butter . He 'll walk around with a jar of PB and a big serving spoon . He 'd finish off a whole jar in 15 minutes if I let him ( which I don 't ) . This morning , he was trying to get as much of the PB out of the jar as he could so he was digging the spoon and his hand into the jar . That meant that he got PB on his hands . He went to the sink to wash off his hands . . . but if you remember , we don 't have hot water right now so it 's kind of hard to wash PB off unless you 're patient , use a lot of soap and wipe your hands in between with paper towels . He was getting really frustrated that it wasn 't coming off his hands , so as he usually does with inanimate objects , he let loose with , " F & * % YOU , Peanut butter ! " Complete with uni - brow , goatee and swirled mustache . Damn , we 're on a roll ! 10 am and we 've started the day off strong . Posted at 09 : 59 AM in David , Everyday life , Misadventures , Summer 2011 , Swearing , Zach | Permalink My kids don 't start school till next Wednesday so there 's still a little time left to enjoy the rest of the summer here in northern Vermont . Since I had my neice and nephew here today , as well , we all took a trip down to the lake , which is only 2 . 5 miles down the road . Girly and Hannah rode bikes down and being the mother and aunt that I am , I was a bit cautious to let two beautiful young blonde girls ride 2 . 5 miles down to the lake through a stretch that didn 't have too many houses around , so I drove either behind or in front of them ( at times ) and kept them in my sights . Yes , it took a lot longer to drive to the lake this way , but they 're precious to me so I wanted to make sure they were safe . The lake was a bit on the cold side , but that didn 't stop the girls from going in and it didn 't stop Zach from going in to the still part with his net and his jar to catch minnows . It DID stop Ethan ( my nephew ) from going in so he sat on his towel and ate food . Zach started off by catching two minnows before they realized that they needed to get the heck away from him . When he realized the minnows had left , he proclaimed , " My eyes have turned to shit . " This is as opposed to when things are going his way and he claims , " My eyes have turned to hearts . " That was just the start of the cuss words today . On the way home from the lake , he told me , " Mom , when you tell me to do something I don 't want to do or to go somehwere I don 't want to go , my ears turn to f * * kers . " Eventually , the fish came back and he caught quite a few . He asked if he could put a couple into the fish tank at home and I said it was okay . Later that night , David said , " Erika , remember that baby bass that Zach put in the fish tank a couple weeks ago ? I think it laid eggs because there 's a ton of baby fish in the tank . " That 's when I realized that Zach didn 't put a " couple " fish in the tank . He put ALL the fish he caught in the tank . ( Yes , I know Zach is insanely skinny . He eats like a pig , though , and the doctor says he 's healthy and active and that 's all the * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It 's pretty crazy to see what kids come up with to play with . We didn 't take anything with us to the lake , like floaties , buckets and shovels , etc . Kids are usually pretty resourceful when they don 't have any toys with them . My poor kids have the shallow end of the gene pool , but so do my niece and nephew . Their mother is my sister and their father is my husband 's brother . Yes , if you do the math right , it 's not as gross as it sounds when you first hear it . My sister 's kids can be just as crazy as my own kids . Hannah found a plank of wood and a piece of charred wood from an extinguished bonfire and made a sign . Yes , it says , " Welcome , now go away . " When we left , we propped it up on the beautiful and artistic looking piece of driftwood at the top of the beach , where everyone can see it when they arrive . We 're just evil like that . Me : No , not yet . I 'm planning to get to that sometime today . Zach : Those dishes have been there for at least two day or maybe months ! Me : Zach , they 've only been there for a day . Zach : Then when am I going to get a clean spoon ? Me : When you wash one for yourself . Zach : I told you yesterday to get your butt out there and wash them . Me : And I told you yesterday that you can wash them yourself and not to talk to me that way . If you 're so impatient , then would you like to wash the dishes for me ? Me : I love you , too . For the record , I finally did get to the dishes today after heating up a couple pots of water on the stove . Before I got to that , though , Zach washed his own spoon . I finally told Girly that she was not wearing her pair of jean shorts for another day longer and that she needed to take them off and put them in the washer . They could have walked there on their own , they were that nasty . She put up a fuss about it , but I won in the end . I told her to wash up and get another pair of undies and shorts on . She insisted that she had no other shorts to wear , which I knew to be bull - kaka because I had just washed and folded a bunch of shorts that I made for her earlier in the summer . Right now , though , she 's on a jean shorts kick . She brought out another pair of jeans for me and asked me to cut them down to make shorts . I told her I would deal with it later today . She put up a fit and insisted she was going to cut them down herself . I told her that if she did , I wasn 't going to hem them for her . She insisted that she could do it herself since she has her own sewing machine and knows how to sew . She laid her pants on the floor of my craft studio and was about to cut them herself . WITH A ROTARY CUTTER AND NO MAT ! Yes , she was going to use my berber carpet as a cutting mat with a wicked sharp rotary cutter . I had to invoke the threat of calling Dad at work just to get her to stop . So , what does she do ? Throws the jeans on my craft table and also throws the rotary cutter . The saying , " don 't throw scissors " also covers any other cutting tool , including rotary cutters . She yelled at me and I sent her to her room . She came out a little bit later with a pair of capris on and crying because she felt so bad for the way she treated me . She hugged me and apologized . It 's nice to know that time outs actually work and that she 's thinking through her actions and making things right . See ? There 's no need for violent parenting . Back to Zach , he asked me this morning if he could climb on the roof of the house . I told him , " Absolutely not ! " A little bit later , I hear my neice yelling to me , " Zach is walking on the house ! " My niece and nephew are here for the day while my sister is at work . They love the trampoline and so do the neighbor 's grandkids . They usually play nice together , but I had to go out and have a talk with my neighbor 's granddaughter , explaining to her that , " No , you can 't kick Hannah in the crotch on purpose . " She promptly through a 6 - year old temper tantrum and told me that she was going home forever . I just replied , " Okay . " Really , what else was I supposed to say ? She offered ! Speaking of the neighbor 's granddaughter , she was outside a bit later and eating an orange . She asked Zach if he wanted part of it . He said yes and she handed it to him and he quickly rolled it across the street and into the ditch on the other side of the road . I got a knock on my door telling me all of this , so I handed a replacement orange to her and then called Zach to me so that I could ask him what was going on . His answer ? And to think that all of this happened before 10 am . The day is still young so I guess it 's not really a " day of misadventures , " it 's only been a morning of misadventures . . . . . . * sigh . * There 's still another 8 or so hours to go . Posted at 12 : 21 PM in Everyday life , Girly , Kids , Misadventures , Zach | Permalink I really wonder what goes through the heads of the two little people I live with . The other night , Girly told me that her feet really itched . I asked if she got bit by a mosquito on them and she informed me that she was playing " Truth or Dare " with the neighbor 's grandson and he dared her to walk through a patch of poison ivy with bare feet . Just like her mother , she 's not one to back out of a dare and walked through the patch of poison ivy . I washed her feet and hands down with Technu to get the oils off of her so that it wouldn 't spread any further . Did she really think , with the generational curse of poison ivy that we have in our family , that she wasn 't going to be affected by it ? Really , what was going through her head ? Then there 's Zach . Right now , we don 't have hot water . The propane ran out and that 's the only thing we use propane for . Instead of filling it right now when we need to get our van worked on , Idecided to put it off and we 've been without hot water for almost a month now . It 's summer and there 's always the pool to cool off in ( or the lake or nearby streams ) , I 've been heating up a pot of hot water to do dishes as well as for taking " showers . " To be honest , I don 't even miss it much . It 's just become a way of life the past month . So , back to Zach . He wanted to eat a bowl of cereal and there were no clean spoons since I didn 't get to those yesterday before needing to head out for student orientation at the college last night . He asked if there were any clean spoons and I told him no . He pointed towards the kitchen and said , " Then get your butt in the kitchen and wash some ! " Oh yes , he said it . My response was to tell him that he could get his own butt in the kitchen and wash his own spoon and to show me some respect next time . Considering that he has no filter and there 's autism at play , I don 't get too worked up over things like this , but channel him in the other direction . Even with Girly , I try not to freak out too much . Hey , they 're kids . They 're still learning the ropes . I get to help with that while they 're still living at home . Last week , Zach asked me , " Hey , Mom . What if we were all born with our butts on our head ? " I wanted to answer , " Then we 'd all be butt - heads , " but I figured I didn 't need to give him any more ammo in his language arsenal . He said , " We 'd all have to put our whole heads in the toilet just to poop ! " I have a vivid imagination and I started laughing just imagining it . How does this stuff go through his head ?