I am daughter , although my parents have passed , a wife , mother and grandmother , and now another woman battling breast cancer . These are a few thoughts about my life and life in general . Some may be humorous , some serious - just like life . Come join me ! And I am grateful . The unrelenting heat of the past few days has been terrible . I sit here in air conditioned comfort while I think of our neighbors to the east and north east . These folks have been without electricity since last Saturday . No electricity also means the gas pumps at the stations don 't work . I see reports of people who spend their days and nights outside because the house is simply too hot . I see their children who are covered with mosquito bites , and I worry about their health . I know how many mosquitoes can live in the Piney Woods of Texas . I can only hope and pray that the lights come on soon for them . Then I see the occupants of the apartment complex on the northeast side of Houston who returned to their homes only to find they had been robbed . To add insult to injury , the thieves cooked themselves a meal before cleaning out the pantry . These folks used any extra money trying to evacuate from a cat 5 storm - or so we kept being told . They don 't have extra money to replace all these things . In the editorials ( which I don 't normally read ) , there was criticism of those who did not live in evacuation areas trying to get away from the hurricane . Well duh ! If our FEMA guy here is getting his family out by the Wednesday morning before the expected land fall , and the county judge gets his family to Austin , the rest of us should stay to " hide from the wind . " That became the motto by our great leaders when it was obvious that an area of roughly 5 million folks couldn 't all fit onto 4 main highways . Our homes are not built to withstand winds like that . I 'm not sure had Rita come this way all of us would have been able to " hide from the wind " in cat 5 force winds . I believe our homes would have become our tombs . I fully understand getting away from the storm surge areas , but come on , I personally don 't like the prospect of my roof coming down on my head . All this makes me think about the possibility of a terrorist attack . We do have a few refineries here . We do have a major port in the ship channel . We are a Posted by Things that happen in life really get me to thinking . The irony of our lives is sometimes just too much to take in . K will be going to St Louis is November . The same days S is also going out of town for business . So who keeps the kids ? The first thought was family . Now if they move , and the same thing happens , who keeps the kids ? Of course , they could end up back in Home Town . The irony there just slaps me in the face . S 's family lives there . So what 's the problem then ? Well as a family they are a train wreck . They are so disfunctional that it is ridiculous . I should not judge them harshly , but they are just flat out trashy people . They want a free ride . I hate the thought they would have a great influence on my grandchildren . S is the only one of the 4 that has turned out to be a good , hardworking , devoted father . This got me to think about their wedding day . K wanted to be married in our church , by the only pastor she remembers . S 's parents wanted to have the wedding in Home Town with the reception being a " bar - b - que in the backyard . " Of course , I 'm sure we would be expected to provide the food . After all , they had no money . They had and still have the impression we are wealthy . Come on , I 'm a retired Texas teacher . After my deductions ( the largest being health care ) I probably make less than they do on their welfare . The day of the rehearsal only baby brother was here . He and S got into a huge argument . Baby Brother called his dad . He called S telling him that he was not part of the family any more . Nice touch . We worked hard to get S 's daughter to become best friends with my niece and Maid of Honor , E . Otherwise she would have not cooperated as flower girl . She was a terribly spoiled 4 year old - thanks to S 's parents . The day of the wedding , we were not sure the other parents would even show up . They arrived about 30 minutes before the ceremony . At the reception , things got worse . They kept trying to get M to them . They said they would take her to McDonalds . Can you imagine ? She was too close to E by that time , Grandma K I just got off the phone with my daughter . To some people , this would not be such sad news , but it is to me . In order to be promoted , she will have to relocate . These words send me into a very deep depression . Not only will she be gone to another area , so will my precious grandchildren . When K was growing up , I practiced the " I 'm not your friend - I am your mother " style of parenting . I tried my best to have a good relationship with my children , but there was always " the line . " My mother was a very mercurial person . I never knew which way the wind was going to blow . I was also an only child . That gave her too much time to notice me . She would say hurtful things ; she would unfavorably compare me to others . She is probably the reason I am the way I am as I illustrated in the last post . K is a grown woman now , and we are friends . We are close friends . In addition , we are business partners . We so many things together . Weekends we are with her family . I can be with my grandchildren . Our relationship is very close . If she leaves , there will be a huge gap in my life . I was not able to count on family for back up when my kids were little . They were ( at the time of lower speed limits ) four hours away . If one of the kids were sick , one of us would have to stay home . If there was a scheduling problem that was just too bad . There was no one else to pick them up . These are things I have been able to do for her , and I have been thrilled to do them . The old adage is so true . A daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life . A son is a son until he takes a wifeMy son still comes by some . Well , for now that is not an option . He has his cats here . But since he married , his relationship with us is very different . We just don 't see them very often . Even when they have children , my relationship will probably be different . His wife , C , is just different . Our relationship is different . I was in the delivery room with K . While I don 't certainly expect this , I 'm not sure C even wants us in the hospital . I guess this is the time to simply enjoPosted by I am basically a very shy person . The problem with being shy is that all too often you are deemed " aloof . " That most certainly is not me . When you total it up , I probably would be on the far spectrum of aloof . I don ; t have a very high sense of self esteem . When I get to know someone , I am completely different . To strangers , I am not outgoing at all . I am reticent and almost withdrawn . When I know you , I am very outgoing . I mention this because I suppose that is the reason I have not posted much about me . My profile is basically nill . I have not said where I live or anything more personal about me than the posts I have done . It 's just that I don 't know you . I guess when some others get " hate mail " and the like I think that if you don 't know much about me that will protect me . Well , that is going to begin to change , especially after this Rita thing . I live outside of Houston , Texas . You know , that small town near the gulf coast . I 'm sure you 've heard of us somewhere . This Rita thing has really gotten me thinking . I would like to share some thoughts . We always said that if we were threatened by a category 4 storm or above , we would evacuate . That was our stand . When it seemed that was the fact , we couldn 't . There was no way to get out of our place . We live along the Highway 290 . Since my husband and kids had at one time been members of the local volunteer fire department , we still have a scanner we bought when they were in service , I listened to the calls for help from the local EMS . I listened to all the ambulances being called for . People were having heat emergencies . One elderly woman died . There was absolute gridlock on the highway . We were stuck right here . Even if we wanted to leave , it was not practical . My daughter and I made the decision that we shouldn 't add to the congestion . There were people trying to get away from the storm surge . We would have wind and rain . Perhaps I would be flooded in because the bayou backs up all around us , and we get cut off . We were not ever faced with a 20 foot surge of water . PluPosted by It is very interesting that most people blogging are so young . I guess many of us older types are just behind the times . I know a lot of older folks that would be very interesting if they would blog their thoughts . Time has a way of teaching you things . Some of us have logged a few years on this old rock . On the other hand , there are a lot of older folks that are quite simple put foolish . Wouldn 't it be wonderful if we would be guaranteed to become wise sages as the years pile up . Wouldn 't it be wonderful to actually learn from our mistakes instead of being so bull headed that we continue to repeat the same stupid stuff ? Wouldn 't it be really wonderful ! I am an animal lover . I have always had animals . We lost out last pet in July , but I still have animals . I am fostering my son 's two cats , Sasha and Sebastian . He cannot have them where he is currently living . Sebastian is a beautiful black long hair . He is so terribly shy that when anyone comes into the house , he disappears . He really must know you to stay around . It is sad that when B comes to take care of them ( that was the deal ; - we just house them ) Sebastian doesn 't know him and hides . He is a sweet cat who causes no problems , unless you consider he " fights the outside cats " through the windows . That is hard on the blinds ! Sasha on the other hand is a difficult cat . She is small and agile . She is over 5 , but thinks she is still a kitten . She even looks like a teenaged cat . The biggest problem with her is that she loves to help items , especially glass , commit suicide . She will tease and tease the item until it falls off of the bar , table , mantle , whatever . She almost has me trained . I try to be very careful what I leave around . This morning when I walked from the den to the breakfast room , barefooted , I stepped on glass . I couldn 't remember what I had left out . As I investigated further , I found that she had really worked hard to knock a baby food jar with a little diluted glue that I was using to line a cigar box purse onto the floor . All in all , there really was no damage , but she can be so infuriating . The answer ? Well , I guess I could force B to remove her . But that would probably mean she would have to go to a shelter for adoption . That is really not an option . It 's not her fault she is here . It 's not really B 's fault that he cannot have her right now . Things in his life have changed since he rescued her from his apartment 's parking lot . I guess the only answer is to do what you so with an infant - just cat proof ! So that 's what I 'll try to remember , and we will live somewhat harmoniously . You would think after teaching them for 29 years , all the psychology classes I sat through with them , and raising two of them into adulthood I would understand this teen . She is my barely 13 year old step granddaughter , and I can 't figure her out . She came to live with K and S June 2004 , and this year she made the decision to remain here . She doesn 't want to go back to her mother at all . I 'll be the first to admit her like there was not good , but I wonder exactly how much she brought on herself . When she got here , she was very rude and mean to Lady Bug . Sibling rivalry at its worst . That has gotten a little better , though not much in reality . I don 't understand it because she has four siblings at her mother 's house . That , in itself , makes her very needy , but she can 't get over the desire to be the center of everything . I guess her neediness is why she is constantly testing limits . Children do like and need limits , and they will test them . It gives them a sense of security . They know they are loved . Back in the late seventies , I had tried my luck at real estate . WRONG timing . I ended up being the " educational therapist " at an inpatient psychiatric hospital . I saw those kids needing structure . They had none in their homes . Most of the homes were non - nuclear . Because of this , most of the kids were in charge , and they felt like there was no one there for them . They acted out , and behavior management allowed for no variation . Break the rule - suffer the consequence . My step granddaughter , M , tests the SAME rules over and over . The outcome is the same , but she goes back and repeats the same behavior . If she is expecting different results , this is the " definition " of crazy . There are rules about makeup , clothes , grades , computer , and phone . She tests them at every turn . She gets grounded , she gets corrected , but turns around and does the same thing . She has been in therapy , and will continue . It really doesn 't seem to do much good though . I hope something works soon . She needs it to happen . I worry about her future . I also wGrandma K We are coming up on an anniversary , but not a joyful one . It is one followed by sadness , but there is a little joy left . Bittersweet . It is the anniversary of the wonderful news that both my daughter and daughter - in - law were pregnant due due in July . The images we conjured in our minds were vivid . There would be cousins living close together and being so close in age . What fun they would have together . All of this and in the extended family my niece was due in January , wouldn 't that make for fabulous family Christmas times ? Having cousins close in age is not new for this family . My sister - in - law had my niece in September and my daughter was born in December . Our sons were due about the same day , but my son , B , was impatient , couldn 't wait . He was a week early . Hers , being her usual luck , was late . So we are familiar with close in age cousins , but we live in different cities . One of these pregnancies was successful , but the other ended very early . Even at that early gestational age I mourned for the little one we would never know all the while rejoicing for the one would be coming . It was a very hard time . I think my daughter - in - law , C , suffered more than we knew . Outwardly , she seemed to go on and accept it . Deep down I think she resented K 's successful pregnancy . I can 't blame her . It had to be very painful . When I was alone with B , I told him his cousin had the same thing happen to her . K was about to deliver Lady Bug when we were at her house for the family Christmas . K was as big as a house , and E seemed to be cheerful about everything . I later learned she had just miscarried . I would only imagine how devastating that Christmas was for her . I believe B related this to C , and I think it helped . All this happened a couple of years ago . B and C are going to try again . I pray they will be successful . All the women in her family has fertility problems . Only time will tell . Posted by Any day we visit Dad is a difficult thing . I WISH I could say that I go with a happy heart , and return with joy , but that it the direct opposite . The trip depresses me so much that I am a coward and make someone go with me . My poor daughter is usually the one who is elected . Seeing my father is the worse part of the experience because he is no longer the man I remember as my father . This horrible disease has turned him into a person who is incontinent and drools constantly . He cannot form phrases because the words escape him . He will parrot , but that 's about it . It helps to have someone with me because then he can sit and listen . The other part of the trip that is so terrible is watching the others . We have been there so long . I have watched them deteriorate , die or simply disappear . There are still two who have been there longer than my dad . They are both women . One was becoming violent , but you can tell she has been medicated . Looking around the unit , it would seem that many of these souls could continue much longer , but they do . They languish daily . Some are in wheel chairs ; some just slump in chairs . There are the few that just wander , and then there are those who " talk " to you making no sense at all . R is one of those people . She was there when my dad and step mother got there . Her husband was in the assisted living section and R was in the Memory Support Unit ( locked unit ) . I didn 't know that at the beginning . When I would arrive , R and her husband would be in the rocking chairs out on the front porch or just in the lounge area . They were such a smart looking couple . They were meticulously groomed . Suddenly , I noted that R was in MSU and her husband was no where around . I met her son in a family support group where he explained that his father had a stroke before coming to the center . He was left without the ability to speak . Since she had dementia , they had to be moved . He died sometime after V . I haven 't seen her son in quite sometime . R would slouch in chairs , moaning and crying . She was no longer groomed . APosted by That was my initial reaction when my daughter called me . No you can 't be pregnant . That would make me a grandmother , and I 'm absolutely not ready to be a grandmother . Grandmothers are the little old grey haired matrons , and I 'm NOT a little old grey haired grandmother . You would have thought I was reacting to a teenager instead of the grown , married woman who had graduated with honors from college while working full time . This plus the fact they had been married almost five years . So the next morning I was off to work where I bemoaned this fact to my best friend and colleague . Well , being my best friend she reacted in character and there after only addressed me as " Granny . " I was mortified . I was crushed . I was OLD ! Now this friend , D , as I have lived strangely parallel lives even though we didn 't know each other until about ten years ago . She was born , and has lived in the Megapolis area all her life , and I was born in Hometown , and she is ( ugh ) three years younger than I . We still have traveled many similar paths . We married about the same time , chose the same rather obscure china pattern , and our oldest children are the same age - and were best friends in high school . Well , it was just a few months later that D told me her son and his wife were pregnant also . We were BOTH going to be grandmothers . That made things much better . We immediately began fantasizing about pushing strollers around Little Suburb on our arthritic knees . Ah , our lives run parallel yet again . I began to reassess the situation . This could be fun . Later my daughter shared with me that when she made that initial call , she felt like the young , unmarried teenager telling her mother she was pregnant . I thought I had handled the call well , only falling apart AFTER I hung up , but she knows me all too well . We are very much alike . As the months went on , I was really getting excited . I told her I had the feeling that the baby was a girl . When she went for the first ultrasound , it was too early to tell , but the technician thought it was a boy . Well , thatGrandma K The first week we had Dad here was , in reality , a nightmare . It also proved to me that I would be unable to keep him here in my home . At the time I was baby sitting my granddaughter . I was having back problems , and walking for any distance was not an option . Also our little city was having major street construction , and car travel along those streets was blocked . The first night he was with us was fine until it was bed time . I woke to find him in our bedroom quite confused . We had lived in this house for 28 years at the time . They visited frequently , so the house SHOULD not have been unknown to him . Later that night , he went outside . The second night , I slept on the floor of our den so that he could not get by me without me knowing . We have an alarm , but I didn 't to turn it on out of respect for our neighbors . The floor is hard ! He would become stir crazy in the house . He would want to go outside . OK , that 's fine , but his walks would go beyond our block and I couldn 't see him . If the hose was strange , what about the neighborhood . He could get lost in the area and I wouldn 't be able to get to him . I would have to put the baby ( 18 months old ) in the car seat to get him as quickly as possible . He was here for a week because the Assisted Living Center was not ready . Fortunately I had visited with the a couple of weeks before . I had wanted Dad and V to come down to see if they could live there . As usual , V drug her feet . This is the same way she had done when I found how Hometown could help them . I found adult day cares , transportation ( yes , friends he was still driving them around even though we all begged her to stop him ) , and help to come in . She dropped the ball . Nothing was done . Then in one quick afternoon , things changed . I had to step in . I made the decision for them . When she got out of the nursing home where she was to rehab , they were to be in the assisted living portion of the center . When the room was ready for occupancy , I moved the furniture , and got him ready for the move . They were going to watch him thatGrandma K I 'll never forget the call . It was three years ago . I had been in hometown just the week before . I knew things were not good . I knew V had terminal cancer , and I knew that Dad wandered . In fact he wandered off one night while we were there . It scared me to death . At 3 : 30 my phone rang . V , with a shaky voice , said she guessed she would have to go to the hospital . What an opening - no details - just she thought she would have to go to the hospital . After what seemed like a million questions , she gave me the details . Dad had gone for a walk , and it seemed he was gone too long . V decided she would get into the car to look for him . She hadn 't driven in many years so her skills were limited . She located Dad and brought him home . Their garage was a small single car one attached to the house . It was tight . She got the car too close to the work bench for the drivers door to open . Apparently Dad took over . He used a piece of 4x4 lumber about a foot long as a stopping block . In his confusion , he put the car into drive instead of reverse . In the mean time V was at the front of the garage . He accelerated so fast that the car jumped over the block . V was in the path . She suffered a huge bruise ( as it turned out later ) on her thigh . The thoughts racing through my mind was that there was no way I could get there before 8 pm . Here in Megapolis 's suburb , the " rush hour " had already begun and wouldn 't stop until 6 . I was completely beside myself . She did tell me that she had called 911 , but no one else but me . Fortunately when we were there the week before , we met their neighbor . She noted that Dad was getting so much worse , and she was very concerned . Her mother in law had just recently passed away from dementia , and we compared notes . She gave me her telephone number . I used it that July afternoon . This angel went over and stayed with Dad until V got into a room . Dad stayed in the room with V that night . He couldn 't be trusted to go home . He would have gotten in the car to go back to the hospital and would have at the very least goPosted by That is a strange way to open this musing session , but it is such a big factor in my life . I am an only child . My mother died 34 years ago . His second wife died two and a half years ago . Since I am his legal guardian it is my duty to manage his affairs , and I have to see his needs are met . This meant that I had to put him into a Altzheimer Care Unit . That is a decision that I still , after three years and two months , makes me feel very guilty and very incapable . He was not happy when we placed him there . He escaped at least three times , although I believe there were more times . The first time a wonderful good Samaritan found him near a busy street about 9 pm . She picked him up in her car and brought him back . The second time he got about a mile and a half away . This time he was at a very busy intersection . He had fallen into a bar ditch . By the time the administrator for the center got there , the EMS and police were there . Fortunately he was just wet and muddy with nothing ( i . e . a hip ! ) was broken . For 6 months his wife was " with him . " I put this in quotations because she was in assisted living and he was in the locked unit . They would bring him over to her , but then all they would do is sleep . Sleep seems to be one of the things that dementia patients do the most . Of course V , his wife , was terminal with bladder cancer . She didn 't know this , but I did . I wanted to tell her , but her son who was working in another state , said he wanted the doctor to tell her . She never got to see that doctor again , but that 's the story for tomorrow . When we brought her here , her son , R , wanted to get her the best of care . He wanted her in M D Anderson Cancer Center . I moved heaven and earth to get her there . My blessed husband would take her the 25 miles there . R did NOTHING . He never even took time off to come see her . He didn 't come until Christmas Day when she was in a final coma before death . She died on the 26th . My father has been there for three years , two months and 10 days . He goes further down every day , but it is a slow declGrandma K I have been reading blogs over two years now . I 've finally decided to take the leap and join in the fun . It 's the time to tell you a bit about myself . I am a wife , mother of two married children , and grandmother to two grandchildren . I am a retired public school teacher . At this time I have no pets of my own , but we are fostering my son 's two cats because he can 't have them with him at this time . My " attic " is my crazy brain . So I invite you to stop by and come on up into the attic . There are cobwebs and dust up there , but don 't let that scare you away ! I really can have some decent thoughts from time to time , and i can be lot of fun sometimes . I was a woman who dreaded the thought of getting older and becoming a grandmother . Now being a grandmother is one of my greatest joys . Time changes us all . Hopefully for the better . Retirement is the greatest thing in the world - I wish I could have done it at 23 .