This is the story of a boy who was born with problems and ultimately removed from his birth parents and placed in foster care . He was adopted by a couple that both had health issues . By the time that Gabe was 11yrs . both had died . This blog is written from the perspective of Gabe 's 4th ' mother ' who has known him since he was 2 years old . In a nearby neighborhood there is a Christmas concert that is held every year . As I sat with Gabe during the concert , he wanted to sing the songs he knew . It took me down memory lane to when he was about 4 or 5 years old . Gabe 's mom DJ just loved to sing . Every year she joined the Christmas choir . Gabe would go with her to all of the practices . At the concert he knew all of the words to all of the songs . He would sit with me and sing along with the choir . As long as he sang quietly I would let him sing . He would get mad at me when soloists got up to sing . He knew all of their songs as well , but I would not let him sing along with them . Gabe really has a love for music . He is looking forward to his turn to sing in the choir . I don 't know if he will get a turn or not . He has a definite speech impediment and doesn 't really carry a tune . He is not particularly aware that he is not on key , but he sure does love to sing out . Gabe has sung special music at church . It 's a little different than singing with the choir . People know that this young man is doing his best . They are not trying to sing on key while standing next to him . It seems that Gabe always wants some type of media running . His preference is movies but if he can 't get that he wants CD 's with stories or music . Because Gabe often chooses to shout phrases and lines from the movies or stories I have decided to really limit the amount of movies and stories he plays . Because his fine muscle coordination is not good , he is not allowed to touch CD 's and DVD 's , because I don 't want them all scratched up . Tonight Angels ' friend Marv came over . He is very musically talented . He , Dirk and Fred ' jammed ' together on piano , violin , guitar , and banjo taking turns playing the various instruments . It was glorious ! In the midst of all of the beautiful music Gabe comes after me . He is angry because I promised a CD earlier when I had no idea what was about to spontaneously happen right there in our living room . Today was a beautiful autumn day . Gabe was up bright and early . For some reason I was incredibly tired and wanted to sleep in much longer than usual . Gabe came into my room and asked for clothes . I handed him clothes and laid right back down . He dressed and came back asking for pancakes . " I am really tired and need to sleep longer , " I said . " Please play in your room for a while and I will make pancakes when I get up . " He said okay and went back to his room . He stayed there quietly until I got up . He was so peaceful and sweet this morning . After breakfast Gabe wanted a movie . I told him that chore come first . " It 's a beautiful day and there are plenty of leaves to rake . " He did question the leaf raking but was not too sassy and rude about it . He went out of the door saying that he would get every leaf raked and then come back for the movie . A while later I went out . Gabe was busy raking . He had giant piles of leaves that he was trying to move towards the woods . I got the yard cart and went to help him . He questioned what I was doing . When I explained he was happy to work with me . We moved several cart loads ( 12 - 15 ) of leaves into the woods . I complimented him on how well we were able to work as a team . He raked for over an hour . I let him take a break and watch the movie that he wanted . Later in the afternoon Dirk got out the leaf blower . Gabe wanted to use it . It is a small electric one . Gabe moved many leaves with it . He made great progress once he got the leaves headed the right way . He did whine a bit when I first asked for a turn for just a few minutes . I was hoping that he would watch me and figure out how to get the leaves going correctly . He did watch , and he did much better afterward . He worked for a few more hours . If he had been totally effective in his efforts the yard would be well done . As it is , a major section of it is pretty well done . Just after I walked in the door from school with Gabe , Angel says , " Gabe 's teacher called . He threw up at school . " I look at Gabe . " I 'm so sick , " he says . He has been with me for the last 20 minutes but never said anything before this . " I think that you should drink water . " Gabe drank a few cups of water over the next half hour . Soon he is begging to eat . " I want you to wait a while to see how you do with the water before you eat anything . " Soon Angel comes into the room and sits beside me . We exchange a few sentences about baby Maree who is asleep in her arms . Then the conversation drops . For a minute there is silence . Then Gabe points his finger and says , " Just leave her alone . I said leave Angel alone ! " This is totally out of the blue . How can a kid be so sweet and good one day and so rotten and nasty the next ? Yesterday Gabe was sweet and loving most of the day . He woke up this morning still in a relatively good mood , but with in a short time it really went down hill . The day was filled with many ridiculous comments , arguments and mean words . Gabe is asked to do chores on many , but not all days . One of the chores that he is able to do is sweep the stairs . This is not a hard job . It involves a small soft brush and a dust pan . " Guards arrest this woman ! " he shouts . " She should be taken to prison now . It 's because of you Susan ! Dad said I don 't have to ! " All of this is said in a very angry tone . " Stop talking and sweep the stairs before you get into trouble , " I say . Gabe thrusts his face at me with his teeth barred much like an angry dog . " Enough , now sweep . " I use a stern tone . Gabe swipes at the stairs getting about half of the dust . All of the corners have been missed . This is the usual way it goes with him . " I 'm done and you can 't stop me ! " he says very rudely . " Let 's check to see if all of the dirt is gone , " I say . " The point of sweeping to to get rid of the dirt . " I began to point to a few of the missed areas . " You had better get it all . I will che . . . . " Gabe interrupts again with a bunch of nonsense yelling at me . " Stop talking , " I say . " All that is coming out of your mouth is very rude this morning . " " Quiet and put your hand down . " I turn and walk away quickly . I do not want to continue arguing . What has brought this on , I wonder . As the day progressed there were several nonsense arguments and accusations . One of them involved a movie that he has watched too many times recently . Gabe keeps asking me if my dad likes a certain imaginary object from this movie . I tell him that Grandpa doesn 't watch TV or movies . " Just answer me now ! I said does your dad like . . . ? " " I SAID , does your " Gabe is shouting . This time I butt in , " DO NOT ask that question again ! It does not make any sense . You have not listened to anything that I am tel . . " " Close your mouth ! " I demand . " You are done talking for a while . Not another word . " Gabe has asked and asked that same ridiculous question several times already today . He kept asking it several times a few days ago . I have already told him that he cannot ask it again , because there is no real answer to it . This has not stopped him from asking and getting nastier each time . What is printed here is the short version . It has gone on and on . About 10 minutes later I finish the task that I am working on in the house . There is much yard work to do . Gabe has been instructed that since he is the teenage boy in the household , it is his job to rake the leaves . It is a big yard and I know that he can 't do it all . It has rained much of the week , but has been nice for 2 days now . No raking happened yesterday so there is much to do today . I decide that I am going to rake for a while today . Gabe is swinging on the tree swing when I enter the yard . " You can 't come out ! " he shouts . I have already gone several rounds with him today that have included instruction and time standing by the wall . I decide to act as if I haven 't heard . I pick up the rake and begin to rake a little way from where he is sitting . " Do not touch that rake , " he yells . " I said put it down now ! " At this point I drop the rake and go to where he is . " OK , " I say , " if I 'm not going to rake these leaves then you are . The job needs done and someone has to do it . " Gabe looks shocked . He has been so busy making demands that he has not thought through what he is saying . " But I just can 't . I 'm having a stroke , " he argues . I have no idea where he has heard about strokes . He grabs his chest , " See it 's a stroke right here . " I do not know whether to laugh or scream . " Go get the rake and get busy . " The ridiculous arguments continue for a few more rounds with him coming up with bizarre excuses and me replying with " rake the leaves . " Finally I say , " Not another word . Rake ! " And then I walked away . These are just a few of the ridiculous things that went on today . It went all day long . When the guys got home Gabe started right in with them . I could hear him outside making all kinds of crazy demands and insisting that I said he could do it . The thing that he was arguing most about was a party that he decided was going on somewhere and he had to go . In reality there was not party to go to . He continued to insist , " Mom said I could . " He had gone through this with me earlier in the day but it was " Dad said I could . He 's going to take me . " No amount of explaining would convince him . He ended up facing the wall again . But nothing stopped him from talking nonsense , making crazy demands and saying rude things . Even as he was headed for bed he was announcing , " I have no school tomorrow . I 'm not going . " " Believe me , there is school and you are going . " I feel bad for the sub teacher that will be there , but then tomorrow is a whole other day and we could be back on sweet and nice . I hope we are for that sub teachers sake , not to mention my peace of mind . I was washing dishes in the kitchen when I heard a very strange sound that must have come from the bathroom upstairs . As I headed toward the stairs Angel stated that she also had heard a worry some noise . I ran up the stairs and from Gabe standing in a puddle of water . There was water all over the floor . His bath towel was laying in the middle of the mess . He was standing there silently with the light off . I think he wanted it all to just disappear . I know I did . I was trying to hurry through dishes and now this mess . Gabe had decided the the toilet needed plunging . That was obvious by the soaking wet plunger sitting in a puddle on the floor . Gabe wasn 't talking . He just began to cry . He has been told repeatedly that if the toilet does not work right - don 't not flush again - don 't do anything - just tell an adult that it is not working . I let him know that he would be punished for the mess . He also had to just stand in the bathtub while I cleaned it all up . He stood there and sobbed . For once there was no arguing or blaming others . Just apparent remorse . I think he was trying to be grown up . The trouble is - every time he decides that he is grown up enough to do something that has been forbidden a mess happens . It just never works out right ! It is best to just follow the rules . There are good reasons for them . " Come in , " I called . " You live here . " Gabe still knocks sometimes instead of just coming in . When he was little his parents repeatedly reminded him that you knock when you go to someone 's house , you don 't just charge right in . He visited us many times in his early years , with many reminders to knock . Now sometimes he still knocks and won 't come in until someone opens the door . Gabe continued knocking . I decided to just go open the door . There he stood with 3 small twigs with bright red leaves on them . " I 've brought you flowers ! " he exclaimed in a flamboyant way . The other day we were at a restaurant . We were sitting in a booth . Gabe was seated across from me . He got up to get more salad . When he came back he ever so lightly bumped my foot as he got in . " I 'm telling Dad . She kicked me ! , " Gabe says to Dirk . In all of his moving around Gabe bumps my foot again . " She just kicked me again ! " he exclaims . " I have not moved my foot , " I said . " You are moving around and have just barely bumped my foot . I wouldn 't even say anything about it except you are making up stuff about me . " " Listen , " Dirk said . " You have to know the difference between being kicked and a light bump . No one kicked you . You bumped her . " This conversation cycles through a few more times before Gabe gives up his accusations and eats . We go through these types of conversations daily . On a really good once in a blue moon day , we manage to get by without one of these types of conversations . Most days have a few of them . Really bad days , the nonsense will go off and on for hours . Sometimes the accusations come out of thin air . Nothing has happened , Gabe is just accusing . He can be so cute and sweet one minute and then suddenly very argumentative the next minute . After Gabe calmed down about the foot incident , he just kept looking out of the window and giggling . There seemed to be nothing in particular out there . Whatever it was , he found it funny . He was so cute about it . " I bought this van . It is mine . I like to share my van . Because I am sharing , there is lots of room for Angel . " I wanted to model sharing for Gabe . He still whines if anyone touches his stuff . He can also be very grabby and quickly claims anything that he sees that he likes . We have heard way too many selfish " MINE " incidents . I have made a conscious decision to verbally share . Angel came home from the hospital with baby Maree on a Tuesday night . Of course Maree was awake off and on all night long . I had taken some days off of work to stay home with Angel and the baby and got up through out out the night with them . I could hear Gabe turning in his bed in the next room . I had decided to let Gabe stay home from school the first day that the baby was home . Most mornings when I go in to get him up he shouts things like - get out of my room or I 'm going to call the cops - or - I don 't have school today so go away - I 'm too tired , I just feel sick so get out . Wednesday morning Maree was crying with every ounce of energy she could muster . This was about 15 minutes after Gabe usually gets up . This morning he got out of bed with out the usual complaints . Instead he stood in the hall with his hands over his ears complaining that the baby was crying in his ears . " Oh yes I do ! " He declared . " I need to ride a bus NOW . Get me to the bus . What 's wrong with her ? " The conversation went around a few more times . Gabe went into our bedroom where Dirk was getting ready for work . I could hear Dirk explaining over and over that babies cry . They cry a lot sometimes . Finally Gabe gave up and crawled back into bed . I was glad he did . I was so tired that I wanted a few more hours of sleep . Maree stopped crying and we all got a little more sleep . Earlier this summer Gabe , Angel , and I attended a good old fashioned Camp Meeting . We stayed in a tent all week . Gabe really enjoyed the classes for the 7 - 9 year olds . I added a little water to the dirt and set the pot on the dash board of the truck . By Saturday morning there was a little green ' knuckle ' sticking out of the dirt . Later that day the flower was up enough to start opening it 's leaves and there was another little green knuckle . By Sunday morning it was obvious that there were 3 flowers in the pot . I put the pot in the cup holder . As we drove the 2 hour trip home a total of 6 flowers came up out of the dirt . The first one grew and additional inch . It was like watching slow motion photography only it was happening right in front of us . It was now midnight as they arrived . Gabe was tired and concerned . He had been waiting and waiting for weeks now for someone to ' get the baby out of Angel ' . As soon as they arrived he demanded to see her and the baby . I told him that the baby was not here yet and that they did not allow children in the room where she was . I said , " You need to go to Grandma 's and get some sleep . The baby will be here in the morning . " This really set Gabe off . He HATES needles . He began crying and really begging to go save Angel from the needle . " They 're not going to hurt her ! ? " " She is going to get something that makes sure that she doesn 't hurt , " I looked for the best wording on the spur of the moment . Gabe 's mother went to the hospital and died and now she doesn 't hurt anymore . I did not want to say anything that would worry him more . " It will be hours of waiting , " I said . " It will go much faster if you are sleeping at Grandma 's . I promise that you can see here tomorrow after you sleep at Grandma 's . I will come and get you . " After several rounds of this whole conversation , Gabe left with an aunt to go to Grandma 's . He was still whining and saying , " They 're not going to hurt her ? & I get to hold the baby tomorrow . " repeatedly as they left . Why must Gabe cry every time I wash his bedding ? I have thought about sneaking to wash it , but that is not always possible . I work school days . Besides I think he needs to learn to handle it . Washing the sheet is not so bad . He has started to get used to that and only whines and asks if I will give it back . The problem comes with washing blankets . I noticed that one of his blankets smelled BAD . I told him that I was going to wash it . His response was , " No , it 's mine . " A short while later I went to get the blanket . " It 's time to wash it , " I said . He started crying and demanding that I give it back . No amount of explaining helps . In fact , it seems to make things worse . To make matters worse , Gabe sleeps with a pile of stuffed animals . I have tried to keep all of these critters out of his bed with a few exceptions . He just goes and gets them all and puts them back in . Well , some of those stuffed animals smelled bad too . They need a ' bath ' in the washer . They will be back by bed time . This brought on a full melt down ! There was much wailing and many rude comments . He would not listen to anything I said , so I gave up explaining and walked out of the room . I was in the kitchen cooking . Fred was in the kitchen too . Suddenly Gabe comes running into the kitchen and kicks Fred . " Hey , " Fred says and Gabe runs back out of the kitchen laughing hysterically . " Don 't kick ! " Fred calls after him . A few seconds later Gabe runs right back in and kicks Fred again . This time Fred kicks him back . It 's not a hard kick , but he does connect . " Ow , " Gabe whines , breathing hard through his teeth . About 30 seconds later he 's back trying to kick Fred again . Fred tries to stop him . " This is not cool , " he says . " I could really hurt you . " Gabe is still trying to kick Fred . Fred asks , " Who is bigger , me or you ? " " I think he knows , " Fred says . " He 's just cocky . " With that Gabe is right back into the kitchen , still laughing . Fred grabs a big bottle of juice and a bottle of salad dressing from the shelf and holds them out in front of himself . This stops Gabe . " Which is bigger ? " Gabe points to the juice . " See he knows , " Fred says . " Stop kicking ! " I say . Gabe runs back out . I turn to Fred and say , " maybe it 's cocky , but maybe it 's still more of his you or me troubles . You asked the question and you are the ' me ' in the question and so maybe the answer is ' me ' . That 's not the proper way to answer , but maybe that is what he is saying . " See Gabe 's Story - part 2 a July 14 post . We have struggled to teach Gabe the difference of you and me and when to use each one . At this point he gets it right more than wrong , but there are still inconsistencies . He still loves rowdy play as long as he is dishing out and not receiving . He will whine or cry when it comes back his way . He does settle down or stop more quickly than he used to . Some times a short specific phrase will do it . Some times it takes much more . Gabe can 't wait for his birthday . He found out that it is six weeks and a few days after Fred 's . He began focusing on the six weeks part . The trouble was Fred 's birthday was still several weeks away . Gabe also knew that Fred 's birthday was going to be on a Sabbath . So every week at church people kept coming up to Fred and wishing him Happy Birthday ! Gabe was having trouble understanding - it 's not this Sabbath , we have to wait a few weeks . It got to the point that he was almost mad at Fred for not hurrying up and having his birthday . He really did get mad at me when I tried to explain . " Susan it 's your fault . You didn 't let Fred have his birthday . " " If it weren 't for me Fred would not have a birthday , " I say . Gabe 's not listening , but Fred chuckles . Fred is my only birth child . Gabe went on , " You can 't stop it . So come on now , let him have his birthday . When Gabe was done with his tirade I showed him the calendar once again . He really wasn 't interested . " Just let him have his birthday , OK , " he said as he walked out of the room . Every time the singer Jotta A . sings the phrase " Worthy is the Lamb " Gabe says , " That 's Jesus . " Gabe is working on learning the words to the song . He has most of them after only a few viewings . He sings right along with the video . The day before Gabe started Middle school , he stayed in bed until after 1 p . m . I began to worry that something was wrong . Finally I went in . He was buried under a blanket . " Are you awake ? " I asked very softly . I realized that he was hiding . I went on about my business of putting away clean clothes . " Get out I said , " he demanded as he sat up . " I 'm just putting clothes away , " I told him . After about 10 minutes he got out of bed . He was already dressed . Angel told me that he got up much earlier while I was out for a morning walk and got dressed . Then he got right back into bed . Later in the day we went to WalMart to get a new lunch box among other things . Gabe is grieving over the departure of his old lunch box . The zipper was not working well by the end of last year . Even though we cleaned it before storing it , it was covered in mildew when we got it out . It has to go . This is an unhappy day . In WalMart the first thing we go to is the lunch boxes . They have dark blue ones the same color as his old one but a different style and ones the same style as his old one but green instead . Gabe grabs a blue one and declares , " Just like my old one . " I start to show him the green one but he is not even going to look . I give up quickly . He 's happy with the one he grabbed . No reason to look for trouble . He insists on carrying it through the store . " It 's mine ! " As we walk through WalMart Gabe says , " Save money , Live better , WalMart " about once each minute . He 's so stressed today that I decide not to try to stop him . He is really trying to be good today . Often , when he repeats a lot I try to break the cycle . I think that he needs help learning to control the cycling thoughts . When he is stressed I just let it go . she talks about learning to control the thought that cycle through . Once they start it is hard to stop them , but it is possible to learn to control what comes out . She also talks about the need to just release at some point . Today I am thankful that WalMart has Silk soy yogurt . They only have it every so often . Gabe loves it . It 's his pudding ! I also find a good deal on gluten free crackers . So I 'm sitting here at my computer working away . The window is open a crack . Gabe is outside in the yard . A sudden tickle in my nose brings on a big sneeze . From somewhere out near the back corner of the yard I hear " Bless you . " Gabe never misses a sneeze . It 's night and he 's been in bed for a while when an adult downstairs sneezes . " Bless you " we hear from upstairs . Gabe was outside playing the other day when Fred sneezed twice in the house . " Bless you ! Bless you " twice even before Fred had finished the second sneeze . In chapter 4 the author talks about hypersensitive and hyposensitive . An autistic child may feel so intensely that the feelings need to be blocked . That would explain why Gabe can 't always tell if clothing hanging on the line in the back yard is wet or dry . There have been times when we were taking down clothing that was dry and filling the empty space with a wet item . I looked over just in time to see Gabe following behind taking down the wet ones that were just hung up . " Don 't take down the wet ones , " I said . " What wet ? " was his response . " I 'll tell you what ones to take down , " I said as I quickly checked several items . How can a person not know if an item is wet or dry I wondered . I 'm not asking him to check seams for dampness , just don 't take down the obviously wet ones . In chapter 6 Muscle Tone and Readiness to Respond , the author describes learning to talk . She memorized scripts from TV and radio and practiced these over and over . " I marvel at how natural and easy it is for most people to tune their vocal cords , and to coordinate the movements of tongue and jaw and vocal cords and lungs to speak . And to do this without apparent thought and withour needing to lean on somethin for security . How can they still be upright ? This explains Gabe 's ' need ' to watch movies , the same ones over and over and then shout out the lines , sometimes at very inappropriate times . On page 64 the author explains how the use of a certain phrase from a movie will set off a major section of the script that follows that line running through her head and frequently out of her mouth . She laments that life does not follow a script . It would be so much easier that way . I can see this desire to follow a script in Gabe . In fact when he first began to watch Wheel of Fortune he was confused . Game shows follow a format and have many lines that are repeated with each show , but then the puzzles are all different . There are different contestants each show , and while Pat Sajak interviews them at the same point in each show there is no predictable script for those interviews . I look forward to the rest of the book . I have just begun some of the therapies . It is only a few days until school starts . I don 't know how it will go , but in as much as the gluten and dairy free diet has helped , it has not been a cure all . I am still looking for additional help . I would like to see how close to ' normal ' we can get . I was a bit upset by the school psychologist last year who said , " just face it , he 's retarded . He 's always going to be , so nothing much is going to change it . She had only known Gabe for part of a school year . Why give up so quickly ? She might be right , but we won 't know unless we try . Also , I think that moving from significantly delayed to slightly delayed or whatever improvement we get is - well - an improvement . I was trying to get some sewing done today . Gabe had seen a bag of potato chips on the table . I promised him some at lunch . He had just eaten breakfast , a late one , so I told him that lunch would be in 3 hours . He watched his one movie of the day and still there was 1 hour and 45 minutes left until lunch . I thought that he was just going to sit there on the couch and watch the clock until it was time for lunch ! He whined about any of my suggestions . Unfortunately it was pouring rain so I couldn 't send him out to play . Finally after about 45 minutes , he came and sat on the stairs that go through the sewing room . He began to talk to me about how much he liked potato chips . He used to eat potato chips when he lived in KY . On and on he went . " You know how to read the clock , " I said . Since he was not getting anywhere with the potato chip thing , he began to obsess over the dust on the stairs . After a few minutes of this , he got up and went to get the broom and dust pan . He took plenty of time sweeping up the dust . Soon it was time for lunch . The first summer that Gabe lived with us , I took him to summer camp at Camp Mohaven . He had been there with me for a few weeks a few years before when his mother was battling cancer for the second time . I was working there then . But he had not stayed in a cabin as a camper . Because of his special needs , the administration decided to give us housing in one of the staff rooms . Gabe would join up with a cabin of boys to go through the activities each day . As it turned out , the counselor that Gabe was assigned to was a good friend of Fred 's and I knew him fairly well also . The boys that were in his cabin were mostly boys from our church so Gabe knew them some . I was happy with this . What I had not expected was the first morning that we were there I realized that Gabe was looking every where for his mother . He had also come to this camp for weekend events with her off and on over the years . He was so sure that if he just looked hard enough , he could find her . When I tried again to explain to him that she was resting and waiting for Jesus to come , he just got very angry with me . " What have you done with her ? " he demanded . " Where did you put her ? " It was hard to give him a specific answer . His mother had chosen cremation and her ashes were at a relative 's house still . She had not actually been buried yet . Other than looking for his mother , the rest of the week went reasonably well . Because I had worked there in the past I thought that maybe once he had settled in a bit I would be able to help out around the camp . It did not happen that way . Gabe did not want me to be right beside him most of the time , but he also did not want me to be very far away . He tried everything . I was so happy . When he had been there a few years before , he wouldn 't try anything . He could not wait for his turn to ride a horse . That is all he talked about . The barn director led the horse that he was riding . She told me that he quoted the story of Jesus triumphal entry the whole way along the trial . He just kept repeating . Gabe loves to quote Bible stories and put himself in as one of the characters . He also did the craft projects , tried to play basketball with the other boys , loved playing fuze ball , tried soccer , went canoeing , and even got in the pool . The pool was the hardest thing for him . He wants to want to swim , but he wants to do it with out actually getting wet . On Friday night , the worship is always the story of Jesus life . Gabe got so into it that I had to remind him to be quiet and just watch . He was ready to tell the story out loud . It became obvious to me as I watched Gabe watch the play , that he thought that the actor who was playing Jesus was actually Jesus . " I found Him , : he said in awe . " I finally found Him . He can get my Mom and me up to heaven . " Wow , how do I handle this , I thought . At the end of the play there is the resurrection scene , followed by Jesus meeting again with the disciples . Then Angels come down over the hill and take Jesus up the hill and out of sight - to heaven . " Oh he 's gone , " Gabe whispered . " But I saw him , I really did . " An amazing sense of peace seemed to come over Gabe . " It 's going to be OK , Susan . It 's really going to be OK , " he said as if he were comforting me . " Because Jesus went back to heaven 2 , 000 years ago . But before He went , He told everyone to keep telling his story . So that was some body who loves Jesus . He was telling everyone the story of Jesus so that they would know it . " " But I saw Him , " Gabe said , still in awe . He seemed so in peace that I decided to just let the topic drop for the time being . This attitude of peace seemed to stay with him for more than a week . One of the things that I did while at camp was to donate some of my knit animal puppets to the camp store . The kids just loved these . Over the course of the years that I worked at camp , I sold hundreds of these puppets to eager campers . it became a big thing to collect them all . Below are some links that will show you these puppets and allow you to purchase some as well . A few weeks after Gabe became totally gluten and dairy free he began to have diarrhea . He had very messy accidents at school and at home . This took me by surprise . Gabe had struggled with constipation for years . Within a few days of starting the diet I thought that maybe he was becoming more regular . This was a bit hard to tell for sure because at 11 years of age I did not go into the bathroom with him unless needed . Yes I still had to help him with baths and sometime other issues , but I was trying to respect his privacy if possible . He actually did not seem to mind my presence there . Because of his delays his mother had also frequently accompanied him to the bathroom for various reasons . As I stated - the diarrhea took me by surprise . It also surprised Gabe . One day I found him in the bathroom trying to clean up after a bad accident . This was one of the first ones . He was frightened that he would be in trouble - mostly because potty training had to be strictly enforced only a few years before . He had been made to scrub out his poopy under ware when he made bad choices . Now he was desperately trying to clean up after himself . He had tried to dump the poop out of his under ware but it just wouldn 't come . He shook them vigorously . The result was poop every where but where it should be . It was all over him , up the wall , curtains and even a spot on the ceiling . It was smeared every where . I asked him to just hold still while I surveyed the situation . He began to cry and shout trying to defend himself . I needed to figure out where to begin with the clean up . I wanted to put him in the tub to wait while I cleaned the room . Then he could get bathed and get out into a clean environment . He was so upset that he was not listening to anything I said . He just shouted nonsense arguments at me . it took forever , but we finally got cleaned up . Once he was clean and much calmer , I stood him in front of me for a talk . I told him that he was not in trouble this time . I asked him if his belly was feeling different than it used to feel . He nodded yes . I said , " things have been rumbling around inside of your belly . Maybe you thought it was gas - you know , a fart , but then it wasn 't . You are a big boy who is too big to poop in your pants . You need to just head for the bathroom every time you feel that strange feeling . Get right on the pot and then figure out if it is gas or something more . Pretty soon you will be able to figure out when you need to get there . " Sometimes I tell Gabe things and I feel as though I might as well talk to the man in the moon . Other times it really seems to go in . This time it seemed as if he understood . He had accidents a few more times over the next few weeks . Soon his system seemed to become much more regular . The belly ache complaints that had been so frequent before the diet and through the ' cleaning out ' process slowly disappeared . The blessings and benefits of this were that he truly seemed to feel better . His activity level picked up and he lost his chubbiness . He became a nice fit weight for his height . His grouchiness eased up some . Unfortunately , it has not totally disappeared . He can still be very grouchy and rude , but most of the time he is not . I had taken Gabe back to see the doctor that he had seen many times before he moved out of state . We went for his first check up in early March , a few weeks after he moved in with us . I tried to talk with her about the gluten and dairy free diet . She said that she had heard of it . She would not really talk about it . When we went back 3 months later Gabe had lost the weight . She questioned me extensively about this . I told her about the diet . She wanted to know if he was getting a balance of other things . I assured her that he ate lots of beans and rice as well as vegetables and fruits . I fact , we had less food battles than previously . I should say - there were no food battles . I also mentioned that he had gone from a couch potato in a tiny apartment to an active child in a 2 story house with a big yard and several acres of woods to run through . We had also begun to get back on TV time as the winter snows melted and the nice weather appeared . I was amazed at how well Gabe accepted his new diet . I told him that it would fix his belly aches . He did mention missing Pop Tarts and Mac & cheese . We did not eat any of this in front of him . However , we do belong to a camping club that goes ' backpacking ' ( 1 mile to the same place each time ) on weekend a month . We usually take Pop Tarts . Gabe , Fred and I were in the store shopping for food for the weekend . I very quickly spelled POP TART to Fred . Gabe shouted , " Pop Tarts , " before Fred even figured out what I was trying to tell him . The irony of this was that Fred was an adult that had been reading since he was a toddler , and Gabe was an 11 year old with barely a kindergarten reading level . I guess it depends on what matters to you . We did not get Pop Tarts . We have slipped them along since then , but never eaten them in his presence . I know of no substitutes for gluten free Pop Tarts , but we have found rice pasta and bean cheese that Gabe really likes . He gets that from time to time . The cheese costs about twice the price of other cheese and is not in most major grocery chains . I have to go to a specialty shop to get it . The rice pasta is carried in one of the stores that I shop regularly . It also is about twice the price of other pasta . Posted by Even though Gabe was listed as a 5th grader , I wondered where he was academically . I played with him with word cards , numbers , and other concepts . I found that he could name one and some two digit numbers and count , but did not add or subtract without coaching and counters . He could read some kindergarten level words , but hated being asked to do word cards . I had worked with other slow readers before , but never one that was this far behind . I wondered if I should even ' waste ' time trying . Would it be a waste or benefit ? Meanwhile I began to read up on a gluten and dairy free diet . The readings told many stories of those who had tried it and the drastic changes in their lives . This diet was recommended for those with autism . Most readings said that while it did not work for all children , it did work for many . The difference was like day and night . However , a person needed to be strictly on the diet for at least 3 months to know if it would really work . About 6 weeks after Gabe moved in , we started him on the diet . While reading up on it , we had begun to cut way back on some foods and just plain drop others out of his diet . It was winter time and I cooked big pots of beans , rice and vegetables on the wood burning stove in our house . We would eat this over corn chips . It was cheep , nutritious food . The only problem was that we liked this meal with lots of cheese on top . Cheese was now a no no for Gabe . I insisted that others not eat it in front of him . Because our kitchen is so cold in the winter time , we often eat in the living room near the wood burner . I would get Gabe 's food first , and then we would ask the blessing , thanking God for his bounties . Then I would seat Gabe in his spot in the living room while other family members in the kitchen would bury cheese in their beans before coming to the living room . We often watched Wheel of Fortune while we ate . Gabe had mostly watched videos in the past . Wheel of Fortune threw him for a loop . They say many of the same things each time , but of course the puzzles and contestant interviews vary each time . Gabe tried desperately to memorize it all . He quickly learned to shout letters at the TV . We worked on teaching him not to shout , while encouraging him to go a head and guess . He just shouted . About 6 weeks into the gluten and dairy free diet , we began to notice that Gabe seemed to be thinking a bit clearer . We were not sure if it was just him getting used to our routines or a real improvement in his abilities . By 3 months , it seemed obvious that he had improved quite a bit , but it was not the day and night experience that we had hoped for . The changes were not drastic , but they were noticed by other relatives and friends who had known him for some time . They encouraged us to keep it up . Being gluten and dairy free can be challenging . It was almost unbelievable to me the number of foods that have wheat , oats , rye or milk in them . It is in so many processed foods . It also makes eating out or even with friends a challenge . I learned to carry food along if we were eating somewhere other than home . I found ways to keep appropriate snack in the truck so we would not be caught off guard . This was difficult at first . It is a whole new way of thinking . The crackers , etc that I had kept on hand for my other children were now useless to this situation . By 3 months into the diet , I decided that Gabe probably could learn to read . He really liked Bible stories and music . I wanted to get away from some of the movies that were his favorites . We were all so tired of some of the lines that he continuously shouted at us . I had limited him to movies only on days that were not school days . Now it was summer and he wanted a movie every day . I did limit him to one movie per day . I wanted him to play outside . I got some DVDs from the local dollar store . They were Bible stories and children 's religious music to go with the stories . There were pictures and words . It was set up karaoke style . As the narrator read the story a red line followed across the words . It was the same for the songs . Since Gabe liked to memorize , I thought that he might also learn some more reading with these . He enjoyed the DVDs , but got mad at me when I tried to show him how they were reading the words . I showed him at various times anyway , until I felt sure that he understood . I didn 't point this out every time that he watched them , just sometimes . I wanted him to like the DVDs . Gabe also had many Bible texts and hymns memorized . People were amazed at how many of them he knew . However , I realized after listening closely to him that he was saying or singing a combination of real and nonsense words . The nonsense words sounded similar to what the real words should have been . It was obvious that he didn 't really understand what he was saying . I began to use familiar texts and hymns to teach him to read . At first he was shocked and mad at the ' wrong ' words that I was making him say . I pointed out that the words printed were the real words . I did not want to push the fact that he had been wrong all this time . Gabe is so tired of ' getting it wrong ' . He wants to be right . I think that is part of why he shouts things . If you say it with enough force , you must be right . As we read , I just continued to point out to him that learning to read helps make sure that you are right . I kept emphasizing the idea that he could get it right every time with a little practice . " After all , you already know most of it ! " We did not read a lot every day . I tried to read with him one or two days a week . If I tried any more than that , he would just rebel . One thing that we did do almost every day was family worship . The class that he was in at church had Bible study guides for kids ( his age - well he was 11 yrs old in with the 7 & 8 yr . old ) . The Bible study guides have a memory verse for each week . We made him learn to read the memory verse by practicing it at every worship time . At first he didn 't like this . Then he began to realize that he really could learn to read these verses . Oral and visual memorization began to come together . The oral had always been there , now the visual was beginning to kick in with it . Gabe knows many phonics rules . As he practices reading he randomly shouts them out . It is obvious that he does not know how to apply them . It is also obvious that his teachers have really tried to teach him phonics and sounding out new words . At this point I figure that Gabe will be a sight word reader . I will not bother with phonics for him . ( Phonics are valuable tools , and I have used them successfully with other students ) . Over the period of the next school year ( 6th grade ) , Gabe 's reading abilities improved to the point of 1 . 9 by my educated guess . That means that I believe his reading level to be at the end of 1st grade . That is slightly more than one year of improvement in a year . As the following summer progressed , Gabe 's reading ability continued to improve . Interesting to me , was the parent teacher conference near the end of Gabe 's 6th grade year . His teachers were not really seeing a big improvement in his reading ability . They were seeing that his math skills had improved the most . Personally , I had not seen any improvement in his math skills . He still needed counters and coaching to do sums up to 10 . This is kindergarten level . This really made me wonder . I would like to be a fly on the classroom wall . Well maybe not a fly . Gabe loves swatting bugs - but something small - you know . Well that can 't happen . We 'll just keep trying . I followed Gabe and his teacher down the hall to his classroom . The bus had been a few minutes late and the 2 aides in the room had the other students seated and ready to start school . I was introduced to the aides . They showed Gabe where to put his coat and lunch . They then showed him to his desk . He seemed initially to avoid my presence , which rather surprised me . But he kept sneaking glances at me as I sat in the back corner of the classroom . I was handed more paper work to finish . I was also introduced to a lady from the county education office who was there to make sure that Gabe 's placement was the best one for him . After a very brief conversation with me , she went and sat next to Gabe . The teacher was placing large photographic cutouts of standard coins - penny , nickel , dime , & quarter on the board at the front of the room and calling on students to name the coins and say their worth . Gabe quickly had his hand up . I wondered if he knew them . Soon the teacher called on him . He answered correctly . Then he looked at me and gave a thumbs up . I gave him the thumbs up in return . I stayed for about 10 more minutes , then I had to get back to work . I went over to say good bye to Gabe . He gave me the elbow and looked annoyed . I told him that I would see him at home after school and then walked to the door . I paused to make sure that he was fine . He gave me a quick glance and then turned his attention back to the teacher . She was a very dynamic person . As I walked down the hall I wondered if she gave such a good performance all of the time , or only when she was being observed . It seemed as though Gabe would be just fine in that classroom . The elbow in the ribs told me that he was ready to try this ' by himself ' . It was late at night and the snow was deep when we arrived home . I set out to help Gabe get ready for bed and settled in to Fred 's old room . He was cranky and confused . I sat with him for quite a while waiting for him to fall asleep . Finally I assured him that I would just be in the next room . We went several rounds with this conversation as I tried to assure him . Finally I told him , " you will be okay . I will be in the next room . " I wished that I didn 't have to work the next morning . I knew that I needed my sleep to function properly on the job . In the mean time , my husband had removed the big wooden sword from the back of the truck and secured it in the barn . We debated on the proper way to handle it . The only thing that we were sure of was that we did not want that sword in the house . When Gabe woke up the next morning , the first thing that he wanted to do was get his stuff out of the truck . I was there briefly while on a break . He did not want breakfast , just his sword and other stuff . He was told breakfast first . " Where are my Pop Tarts ? " he demanded . He had eaten Pop Tarts every morning at his old house . In fact it was a ritual that he went to the cupboard , got out a pack from the box , went to the toaster oven and opened them , bit the right corner off of the Pop Tart in his right hand , and then put them in the oven . He shut the door and gave the knob a quick crank . It was both my and Angel 's observation that some mornings he had slightly warm pasteries while other morning they were well done . He ate them either way . 2 ) While cleaning out his mother 's bedroom we had come across information on how a gluten and dairy free diet has helped some autistic children . I was not ready to be gluten and dairy free yet , but I wanted to look into it . It seemed better to leave the old Pop Tart habit at the old house . If we did not end up gluten free , he could have them as an occasional snack at a later time . I was only home briefly , leaving my husband Dirk to deal with the issues . He was unemployed at that time after 25 years with his previous job . I went to our local school to get Gabe enrolled . The school was very glad that his previous school had given me copies of all of his records . I told them that I would like to keep the records , but gave them permission to copy anything that they needed . They were happy to get all of it on the spot . Because Gabe had to be placed in a special class it would take a few days to figure out the best placement based on his current records . His previous teacher had included a phone number so that the school could call and talk directly to him if they wanted to . Because of the fact that it would take time to choose the right program , the fact that the school had a teachers meeting day , and the mounting snow that resulted in snow days , it was a week before Gabe started school . We hyped up how much fun making new friends would be . He pined for his teacher at his old school . " Just call him , I know he 'll come , " Gabe said over and over . " He can 't come , it takes 6 hours to get here . " We argued over this several times each day . Other discussions that repeated frequently involved topics such as Why did you steal me ? Why did you steal my stuff ? Why did you steal my mother ? What have you done with my mother ? and other similar subjects . Nothing that we said made a bit of difference . After a few rounds we would just tell him that he needed to listen and think about what we said . No more asking now . We told him that we knew that he missed his mother very much . We miss her too . We will see her again when Jesus comes and takes us all to Heaven . The night before Gabe was going to his new school he repeatedly asked if he was going to school the next day , and then followed this with a matter of fact statement that there would be too much snow to go . Sensing that all of our hype had not worked , I asked him if he was excited to go make new friends . He just stared at me . Then I asked quietly , " are you scared ? " " You are going to a new school . It is going to be a good place so you don 't need to be a lot scared . A little bit scared is okay though . I have to go to work early tomorrow , so Uncle Dirk will get you ready for school and help you get on the bus . I have a break in the morning . Would you like it if I was standing on the side walk at your school when your bus got there . I could go in your new school with you . " The next morning I was standing on the sidewalk in front of the school when Gabe 's bus pulled up . His new teacher was standing there too . He started to hold my hand as we walked into the school , but then switched to holding the teacher 's hand . I felt rejection and yet glad , because it looked like the transition would be reasonably smooth . We walked down the hall towards the classroom . After Gabe 's Mom passed away the relatives began to dismantle the apartment . All of the people in his mother 's bedroom going through her things really upset him . " Why are you stealing all of my mother 's stuff ? " he screamed at his older sister and the other relatives who were helping her . Repeatedly we told him that his mother had given her stuff to his big sister . He would calm down and then flare back up . We went through the same conversations over and over . First thing Sunday morning I began to pack up Gabe 's room . At first my son Fred , was able to distract Gabe and keep him out of the room . This let me sort out too small clothes in peace . But it was a small apartment and soon he came into his room . " what are you doing ? Why are you stealing my stuff ? " he screamed waving a big wooden sword in my face . The sword had come from a renaissance festival . It had become a major nuisance . " I 'm not stealing your stuff , " I said . " I 'm making sure that you get to keep it . Remember how I said that you have to move ? " " She 's not stealing your stuff . " Fred said . But Gabe was not listening . He flared up all morning long , waving that sword , accusing people of stealing and demanding that people be arrested , and demanding to see his mother . There was a lot of crying that day . When I began to pack Gabe 's toys , he grabbed a large crocheted bag and began to stuff toys into it as fast as he could . " These are MINE ! You can 't touch them ! ! " When the bag was stuffed he hauled it outside and flung it into the back of the truck . He continued to scream at my husband when He tried to move the toys to a better position . By 10 a . m . I was exhausted emotionally . I said to my daughter Angel , " I 'm going to say something that you will not hear me say very often if ever again - Find that cartoon network or something and watch TV with him for the rest of the day so we can get something done around here . " At this time , it seemed as if Gabe was a TV and movie addict . " The TV had been off most of the time since I had been there . This had made him almost crazy , but the adults had stood firm . Now I caved . We would be leaving the next day to start a ' new life ' again . One last movie marathon at the apartment just might let us get the packing done . Gabe stood in front of the TV shouting the memorized words at the TV a second or two ahead of the movie . Angel complained that he was ruining the movie . " No one is having a particularly good day . " I said . " Your job is to keep him occupied . " By late afternoon I thought that we were almost done . Late that night we were still almost done . I was a tiny apartment and I couldn 't believe that going through it could take so long Also late Sunday afternoon Fred left with an aunt to go back to college . While Gabe knew Fred well , he didn 't really know that aunt that much . " Why is she stealing him ? " he demanded to know . Once again he did not listen to the answers . " Arrest that woman ! She 's stealing my Fred away from me . " This started a new cycle of craziness , demands and tears . As the evening passed all of the relatives left . There was just Gabe , Angel , my husband and me . " Susan , you did it . Where have you put my people ? Give them back now ! I said now . " It was late now and he was tired . I tried to assure him that he would see them all soon . He just kept demanding that I get them back now . Getting him to bed was difficult . We had packed his dresser in the truck , but had decided not to take the bed . We did not have a place to put it in our house . I sat on the floor by Gabe 's bed for a long time that night . Finally he dosed off . Monday morning found us scrambling to get out of the house . We had a 1 p . m . court date and then we had to get back home . I had to be at work early the next day . We insisted that Gabe 's sword ride in the back of the truck and not the cab . However , his big black stuffed dog , several blankets , and a pocket full of random keys were allowed in with him . We would have allowed a few other toys too , but this ( plus the sword ) was all he really wanted . He was very angry that the sword was in the back . At the courthouse the pocket full of keys resulted in a melt down . We do not frequent courthouses and had not even thought about the metal detectors . Gabe had to empty his pockets into a basket . He refused . The woman guard asked us to stand back while she politely but firmly worked at convincing him to put his things in a basket . After about 10 minutes of him yelling , " Guards , arrest this woman , she 's stealing my stuff ! " he finally relented and put his stuff in the basket . It was a busy day in a major city and there was quite a line of people , now trying to figure out what kind of nonsense was holding up the line . In the courtroom Gabe stood before the judge hugging his big black dog tightly . That dog had been given to him the Christmas after his father had died . He took it with him everywhere possible . We had let him bring it in with him to help comfort him . Now he stood there clinging to the dog , a frightened worried little boy , looking up at a judge behind a big desk . First the judge called Gabe 's sister . Then he talked to Gabe . Gabe listened quietly as the judge asked him if he wanted to live with us . One quiet little yes . Inwardly I signed with relief . No accusations that we were stealing him or his stuff . Gabe and his mother had come to visit us at Christmas 2009 . He seemed to be doing much better than the last time we saw him . His mother however , was miserable . She had pulled something in her back , she thought . Only two weeks into January of 2010 , Gabe 's big sister , an adult with her own children , called in tears . " Mom 's in the hospital and they have given her 2 weeks to live . " It was cancer again and it was so far spread that there was nothing that they could do . My husband and daughter went down to stay at the apartment with Gabe and do what ever else they could to be helpful . I went down on the weekends . Exactly 2 weeks later she died . Gabe had gone to the hospital almost every evening after school and sat there in his mother 's room . He had been trying to listen to all that was being said and was confused and worried . When she passed away , I took the allowable 4 days off work to go to KY . When my husband told Gabe that his mother had died , he just cried and cried . ( very expected ) . Then he got mad and began to demand to go to the hospital . The apartment at that time was full of relatives . Gabe continued to demand to go to the hospital , threatening to arrest any one who would not take him . He was very sad and very angry . He knew that if someone would just take him to the hospital , he could surely find his mother . There had been previous discussion about making sure that he saw his mother after she died , but she had slept so much in the last days that she did not appear at all different after she passed . The relative that had made the biggest deal about Gabe seeing his mother was the relative that was with her when she slipped into eternity . She decided that it would not make a difference . Gabe was staying with a friend that night and went off to school not knowing what had happened . Gabe 's mother had planned to be cremated and so there was no viewing . When people tried to talk with Gabe , he would either try to avoid them , or he would often shout lines from movies and stories at them . It became clear that he did not understand the meanings of phrases and words . When we were visiting he would often hit my daughter or grab items from others . His parents set up a short list of rules for him . He memorized these rules . Then he would run and hit my daughter or another child and then shout " Don 't hit ! " Sometimes he said , " you know the rules , don 't hit " . It soon became obvious that he thought that those were the words you say when you do those things . He did not understand that you don 't hit others . In fact the hitting and shouting seemed to be a game that he enjoyed . The other children 's reactions and the instructions from near by adults meant nothing to him . Sitting him down brought on lots of crying , but still he did not listen . When adults tried to talk and explain he made lots of noise and shut them out . His frustrated mother said , " he knows all of the rules , but just shouts them at people and then breaks them all ! I 'm trying , but what do I do ? " To complicate things , Gabe 's ( adoptive ) Mother found out that she had cancer about a year after he joined their family . She recovered after surgery and chemotherapy . She was often tired but continuously tried to help Gabe understand the world around him . As Gabe 's mother grew stronger his ( adoptive ) father began to have more health issues . There were trips to the hospital at all hours . It was hard to be on a schedule . During this time it seemed that Gabe became even more challenging to deal with . His father died just after he turned 5 . Gabe 's mother struggled to pay the bills and keep the house . About a year after the death of her husband she discovered a sore on her foot that was not healing . It was determined to be cancer and was removed by surgery . Still it did not heal . During this time the bank forclosed on the house and they had to move . Six months after the first surgery she had a second one . the doctor said that they got all of the cancer . He was sure that it had not gone to the bone . Even though the loss of the house was not what she wanted , Gabe 's mother used the move to his advantage . Gabe had become increasingly more addicted to movies . At church or other outings he would cry continuously and say , " I 'm sick , I have to go home and go downstairs . " The TV was downstairs . He would make the outing so miserable that she would give in and go home . I do not know if he went downstairs or to bed . When they moved , certain items did not go and some habits were broken . She used the simple logic of " we can 't do that here . " It seemed that Gabe had many compulsive behaviors that could be very annoying and distracting . These behaviors significantly slowed down accomplishing anything that involved him or even cleaning house . Potty training was also very difficult . Gabe 's mother had given up on it during his fathers illness . Now more than a year later they had made some progress , but more was needed . He was still in pull up pants in the daytime . During this time another relative from Tenn died . It was decided that Gabe would not know about the death . he would just be told that his mother and Uncle had to go on a trip . They would be back in 4 days . At this point in time Gabe was wearing ' big boy under ware ' but still having many accidents . I quickly realized that he was too busy watching his movie to go to the bathroom . I told him that if he peed or pooped in the living room that there would be no more movies for the rest of the day . Those were long days . He was used to movie after movie , but he blew it during the first one the first 3 days at my house . He made it to the second movie on day 4 before we were cleaning up and changing clothes . The reason that Gabe was not told about the relatives death was that he had begun to obsess over the death of his father . He would tell every one , even total strangers in the store that his daddy had died . He would do this with such emotion that people felt sorry for him and thought that it must have just happened . He became quite the little actor , turning on the ' sympathy machine ' at the drop of a hat . It had started of course because he was greiving and did not understand what had happened to his Dad . But it really seemed to turn into an attention getting act , that was hard to stop . Because it was all in public his mother was hard pressed to know what to do . If she said anything she appeared hard hearted and cold . About a year later Gabe and his mother moved out of state to KY . Once again additional items did not go with them and she also insisted on certain behaviors being left behind also . At this point she was able to get the ' sympathy machine ' toned way down and eventually stopped . She found other doctors and therapists in her new town who seemed to be more helpful . Each time that we saw Gabe over the next few years , we could see noticeable improvement in his behavior . However , certain compulsive actions and phrases hung on . He had an unquenchable need to vacuum . He would walk into any ones house and loudly ( and embarrassingly ) declare , " this place is a mess . We need to vacuum ! " During one visit to my home he was so obnoxious about it that it was nearly impossible to visit . He was sent to a chair in the kitchen and instructed to sit quietly . He cried and cried . He was repeatedly told that he needed to stop crying and get quiet to get off of the chair . He was left there ' by himself ' and eventually stopped crying . When he was allowed off of the chair he walked back into the living room and demanded to vacuum . He was told that he was not to mention the vacuum again , but he remained persistent . He was soon back on the chair crying his eyes out . A little more than 2 1 / 2 years after they moved to Kentucky , cancer struck Gabe 's mother again . Gabe was born to parents who were heavily involved with alcohol and drugs . He was removed from those parents before he was a year old . At that time he was placed in foster care . About a year later he was placed with an adoptive family . That is when I first met Gabe . He was nearly 2 years old and did not walk or talk . His adoptive parents enrolled him in various therapies such as occupational and physical therapy . In time he learned to walk . Language was much more difficult . He struggled to talk . Slowly he built vocabulary , but his annunciation was so poor that it was hard to understand him . Gabe did not have much interest in playing with toys . However , he quickly learned the word MINE and would scream it at anybody who attempted to touch one of his toys . Attempts to play with him with his toys resulted in melt downs . It quickly became obvious that Gabe liked videos . His parents got him several videos that were appropriate for little ones his age . It was amazing to see how quickly he memorized those videos . It seemed as if the videos were helping him learn to talk . However , communicating with him was still nearly impossible .