Jewel was one of two sisters that lived in Fort Smith , Arkansas . Opal was the other . The two women were rarely seen without the other , so it was a surprise when Hazel heard only Jewel on the other side of the door . It was especially disconcerting because she was rarely demanding like that . That was usually a job left to Opal . " Opal 's not far behind me , " she said . " She brought her own car so she could stay a few days longer . " Jewel paused and raised her eyebrows with a look that said , " Sorry ! " Hazel laughed at the commiseration . They both knew how difficult Opal could be . They had known it their whole lives . You might say that having to deal with Opal gave them something in common . It had kept them close all these years . " I need to tell you something before Opal gets here , " she said . " That 's why I 'm so flustered . I didn 't want Opal to hear me . " Laurie was Opal 's favorite , above everyone else in the world . Up to this point , she had always been beyond reproach . In fact , most days , you couldn 't get a word in edgewise for all the talk about Laurie : Laurie had gotten a raise at her job . She had gone on a date with a medical student . She had attended the symphony with her church group . There was really no end to all the good work that Laurie was doing . Hazel wondered what could be so bad that Jewel would race ahead of their sister in order to have a private conversation . Already , Laurie had stunned Opal by moving away to Dallas as soon as she graduated high school . Hazel couldn 't think of anything worse than that . She remembered watching Laurie grow up and Opal talking about her granddaughter 's future as if it were her own to decide . She would have a small house in Fort Smith and marry a Christian man who would emerge from the small house every morning with his briefcase with Laurie standing at the door with his coffee and a kiss . And then Laurie and her husband would have a sweet little great grandchild that Opal could cuddle in her arms . She had even talked of their living with Opal so Opal could be of assistance with the children . When Laurie moved away , it had stunned and hurt Opal deeply . " My word , " Hazel said , putting her hand to her mouth . " Did she marry a Baptist ? " Her eyes widened as her mind tried to guess what could be so bad . And then she gasped . " Did she marry a … Catholic ? " She could barely get out the last word and when she did , she whispered it . She knew that would be worse than anything in Opal 's mind . Everyone knew how her sister felt about church and other churches . Hers was The One True Church , the church without instruments , the church without separate Bible classes . When anyone asked Opal about her beliefs about Bible classes , Hazel knew that Opal would consider those people as feeble minded . And she saw it as her duty to teach them . " God did not say , ' Go off and put yourselves in different places to worship me ! ' He said , ' Everyone must be together to praise me ! ' " She was quite passionate when she would relay this to anyone who challenged her on it . When pressed where in the Bible she got her information , she 'd shrug and say she couldn 't remember exactly where it was , but she knew it was there and far be it from her to dispute the Word of God . So , as her children had children , Opal made it clear that those grandchildren must marry within the church - her church . They should never even think about dating anyone outside the church . Marriage was hard enough without being unequally yoked , she 'd say . A car drove by outside and both women jumped . They looked back through the front door as if expecting Opal to be standing there listening . Hazel was relieved to see that the car wasn 't Opal 's and she wasn 't standing there . " Laurie called a while back and told Opal she had cancer , " Jewel said . She took a Kleenex from the box and dabbed at her eyes . " You can imagine how Opal received that news ! It was terrible ! " Hazel remembered Opal recounting how , on the night of his death , he had called while he was on the road . She had wanted to say hello to her son , but she had been in the bath and , by the time she got out and dried off enough to go to the phone , Lloyd had hung up . She never got to say goodbye or anything . She had always wondered if Bruce had meant to confide something to his mother , something important that he 'd never get to say . So she blamed Lloyd until he , too , died some years later . Laurie was Bruce 's only child . When she came along , Opal took care of her on the auspices of helping out , but really she had wanted to be with her favorite son 's child . She could see Bruce in Laurie and that was as close as Opal would ever get to her son . It helped Opal cope with Bruce 's death , but Hazel knew that her sister had taken all the dreams she had for Bruce and pinned them on Laurie . Jewel nodded . " Opal went to Brother Bailey in tears and asked if the church could have a special drive to help Laurie with her cancer treatments . And he was quick to agree to it . He told Opal that 's what the church was for - to help in times of need ! " " That is so kind , " Hazel said . She warmed to the new minister 's generosity and thought maybe he had finally started filling the shoes of the previous minister . It had been hard on the congregation when Old Brother Leon had a stroke and it took a while for them to take to Brother Bailey . " Opal was making plans to go to Dallas , " Jewel continued . " She wanted to take care of Laurie herself . They talked every night on the phone , so much so that Opal had to work out a payment plan with the phone company ! Her phone bills went sky high ! " " Laurie didn 't want Opal to go , " she said looking up and blinking her eyes . " She said she 'd rather call and give daily reports , which she did . It did such a number on Opal to not be there and know how to be helpful . She prayed , of course , but she was sick with worry . " " That 's Opal , " said Jewel . " I have to tell you quick then . Opal found out last week that Laurie didn 't have cancer at all . Never had it ! It was all a scam to get money ! " Hazel started to stand to go to the door , but she felt light - headed and had to sit back down again . The breath escaped her chest and she felt all the sadness , misery , and embarrassment that Opal must have felt this last week . She could barely believe that Opal 's own granddaughter would do such a thing ! After the second ring , Hazel managed to get to her feet and shuffle to the door . Tears clouded her vision , so it took her a moment to get the door opened . Before Opal could even get over the threshold , Hazel pulled her into a big hug . Opal burst into tears herself and she practically melted into Hazel 's embrace . And then Jewel joined them . The three sisters stood in their familial triumvirate and wept in unison . Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . Albert sat at his sister - in - law 's kitchen table reading the Fort Smith newspaper . His wife , Hazel was busy cleaning up the lunch dishes . He figured they had about another minute 's peace and quiet before Opal , his sis - in - law , started up again with her constant demands . There it was . Opal couldn 't keep quiet longer than twenty minutes before she needed something new . For about a week she had been lying in bed nursing her gall bladder surgery for all it was worth . Albert had wished some other sister had been available to stay with her while she healed up , but Jewel had a job and Cleo was in Houston visiting the new grandbaby . That left his wife to do all the heavy lifting with their oldest sister . " That woman , " Albert said under his breath . He watched Hazel dry her hands on a kitchen towel before heading down the hallway to Opal 's bedroom . His wife had this soft way about her . Even her steps were soft and gentle , though he also noticed they were always full of purpose . He knew whatever Opal wanted Hazel would give her . Sometimes he wished she 'd just tell her sister to stuff it . But then , she wouldn 't be his Hazel if she did that . " Nothing … nothing . It 's just , I noticed there 's a lot of dust up there on the door frame , above the door . I hadn 't noticed it before , but just lying here makes me see things from a different angle . Would you get a dish cloth and try to get all the dust off that frame ? " " Who does she think she is ? " He whispered , leaning forward again . He had to resist the urge not to hit the table top with his fist . Albert pretended to be reading the newspaper when Hazel entered the room again . He knew his marriage had always been a point of contention between his wife and Opal . It didn 't help that Opal knew what he thought of her marriage to her dead husband Lloyd . Albert had liked Lloyd , but he thought he had always been a spineless jellyfish and let Opal walk all over him . One day he told this to Hazel and Opal overheard . You would have thought he had accused his sister - in - law of genocide . She laid into him like a cat chasing chickens . They had steered clear of each other ever since . " Oh , Hazel ! " It hadn 't even been five minutes since Opal called her sister back to the room . " I think the baseboards need cleaning too . " " You didn 't come here to do her housework ! " He said through his teeth . " Tell her to get her old fat butt out of bed if she wants anything else dusted . " He stood up , ready to go tell Opal himself just what he thought of her . Hazel walked over to him and put a hand to his chest . She looked up at him with pleading eyes - the eyes he fell in love with . " I 'm going for a walk , " he said , finally , stepping around his wife . In three strides he was out the door . He slammed it so hard the entire house shook . He didn 't actually go for a walk right away . Instead , he sat on the front steps for awhile to try to calm down . He watched the birds skittering and chirping around the bushes in Opal 's front yard . Under the windows along the front of Opal 's house , he noticed some shrubbery needed trimming . He would have already trimmed them if they were not Opal 's shrubs . He liked to stay busy . He was never happier than when he could stand back and look at a job well done . But he simply would not let himself do it . If he did that , it would open up all kinds of expectations from his sister - in - law . She would ask him to paint her house and put a new roof on and build a new shed . It would never end . Opal 's house was the last house on a dead - end street . Albert looked around , thinking about the implications of that . It made him smile . He certainly felt like her house was a dead - end whenever he visited . " Heck , no ! " Albert bristled . " She 's my wife 's sister . Opal 's had some surgery and my wife doesn 't drive , so I had to bring her . " Albert rubbed his big heavy hand through his hair . " If it was up to me , I 'd already be gone back home . That woman wears on me like nobody else ever has . " The man leaned closer to Albert . In a confidential tone he said , " That woman has been a sore spot to all us neighbors . Most of the men in the neighborhood won 't even go out in their front yards anymore . She 's always out there hollerin ' from her front porch . You can only pretend to be deaf so long ! She doesn 't give up and she doesn 't take a hint . " Albert cackled in commiseration . " Oh yeah . She would never take a hint . You 'd have to scream it in her face . Even then she might not get the message . " Opal 's neighbor pointed to a house further down the street . " See that house there with the flag pole ? That 's Ralph Martin 's house . He 's been forbidden by his wife to go anywhere near Opal . " The man shrugged . " I don 't know if it 's true , but it seemed like Ralph was running to the house every other day to look at the faucet or the refrigerator or any little thing to get him over there . His wife Millie had enough and put her foot down . " Both men looked at each other for half a second as the image of Opal the Seductress sunk in . Then they both started laughing at the same time . Tears sprung out of Albert 's eyes he was laughing so hard . Albert continued on his way and , while he walked , he wondered why God had even made people like Opal . It seemed to him that she served no real purpose , except to make the people around her miserable . Albert supposed that her husband Lloyd had loved her , but she was 16 when they married and he figured she was nicer back then . The thing that bothered Albert most of all about Opal is that she did not know unlikable she was . She could at least have a little humility . Albert 's thoughts went further back in the past , then . He thought to the time when he had been courting Hazel . He got dressed up every time he went to a family supper over at her house and her parents gave him the once - over more than once . He always felt claustrophobic when he visited . Hazel 's entire family was so proper and pious . He tended to like people who were more down to earth and didn 't think so much of themselves . Opal was by far the worst of the worst . She played the piano after suppers and the family would gather around and sing . Albert hated it , but he endured it because he loved Hazel . Albert scratched his head trying to understand Hazel 's family . Hazel and another sister , Jewel , used to say that their mother would 've been happier if she had had Opal as her only daughter . He never understood that . He never saw anything attractive about her . He almost hated her for the way she treated Hazel . Opal was exactly the kind of girl he would never have looked at twice because she already thought she was so pretty . He would much rather be married to that sweet , kindhearted Hazel . Sure she sometimes wore her heart on her sleeve , but she always tried to do the right thing . Albert figured it probably wasn 't easy to be Hazel . Sometimes he felt sorry for her . Once they were married , he didn 't plan to spend much time at her family home , if for no other reason than to give Hazel a break from trying to measure up and take care of everybody . " Opal is having a hard time , " Hazel said . She gave him a second look , like she was trying to figure out why he was smiling . " She , uh , needs you to go and get her some more pain pills and the pharmacy closes in about 30 minutes ! " Albert looked at his wife 's plaintive face and his heart melted . He could never tell Hazel no about anything , even if it was to help that harridan , Opal . He knew that his wife was such a goodhearted person and that he didn 't really deserve her . She went out of her way to keep things calm , keep everyone happy , make sure he had what he needed . He didn 't say a word as he got in the car and drove away , but he did look in the rear - view mirror . As he drove up the road , he noticed that Hazel didn 't budge from the porch . He was pretty sure he 'd never forget this moment , or that look of confused happiness she gave him just after he had kissed her . Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . Minnie had put a chicken and a ham in her oven early that morning . She would serve this along with seasoned greens , potatoes , garden vegetables , cornbread and rolls , and several choices of desserts . And then there was always Neapolitan ice cream in her freezer . Minnie reassured herself that she had made a scrumptious and appetizing lunch for her special guest , her niece , Julia . Minnie had several nieces from both brothers . Julia was one of them . She was 19 years old , the picture of youth and beauty . Minnie was so excited to have her niece visit for a week . Her visit was the closest Minnie could get to her beloved baby brother , Leon who had died suddenly a few years back when he had suffered his second and last heart attack at the age of 45 . Minnie had no idea why both her brothers - who had children - were taken so young when she was left childless and alive . She resented the injustice of that . It wasn 't that she had a death wish , exactly . It 's just that she had bothersome thoughts that she had let all her nieces down by allowing their fathers to die so young . She felt she was somehow responsible because she had outlived them . She would have gladly died instead of either one of them . But they were both gone and here she was was left to try and make their daughters as happy as possible . With everything just about ready for Julia 's visit , Minnie felt content enough to take a few minutes to sit down and relax . That is , relax as much as Minnie ever felt safe enough to relax . She sat in her recliner in the corner of her living room and chugged back a Tab soft drink until the can was almost empty . She was like her father that way . She could almost drink an entire soft drink without stopping for breath . This was especially easy for her to do when she was nervous , and that was most of the time . Minnie looked at all the food she had prepared and looked back at her skinny niece . She wondered if she had prepared the kinds of things that Julia would eat . She didn 't want Julia to get skinnier ! Or maybe Julia was still grieving her father 's death . There were still many days when Minnie could not bear to think that Leon was gone from this earth , never to sit at her dining table again , never to keep everyone entertained by his stories , never to talk to her again in that special way that only he and Minnie had . He had been her touchstone , someone who would always understand . Minnie dabbed at her eyes thinking back on these things . Leon had kept alive all of the family times they both remembered . He remembered her when she was young . He saw all of her and loved her anyway . He knew her secrets and her fears . He also remembered how impossible their mother had been . Sometimes , Leon would hold Minnie 's hand while she poured her heart out to him about all of her sadness and he would listen attentively . She knew he was really listening ; not pretending to listen like other people . She got relief and consolation from those visits . It was as if she could breathe again . The night Minnie got the call about Leon 's death she had run up and down the road in front of her house screaming . She felt so alone , so frightened . She was not only scared . She was angry . She didn 't want to go on living in a world without Leon . Minnie wiped her eyes and looked again at her niece . She was reading a book . Minnie squinted to make out the title - " Narcissus and Goldmund . " Minnie had never been much of a reader outside of the Bible and book in which someone overcame great adversity to win in the end . She had to read books like that . She had this hope about her own life - that maybe , if she was good enough , wise enough , and nice enough , her life would at least end well . Minnie wanted people to love her . It was all she had ever really wanted . She had worked her fingers to the bone , said her prayers every night , went to church every Sunday , baked hams for bereaved families , lived a life that had no dark spots , and yet , she wasn 't a happy person . When she lay down to sleep at night , her worry never stopped . She laid on her back with her head on the pillow and her hands on her belly . Her worry was visible in her thumbs as they went round and round each other . Sometimes , if the night was worse than most , she got up and went in the living room to read . She had had some kind of heart problem since she was 18 . The doctor had told her to think twice about having children . She hadn 't said anything at the time , but in her mind , she was thinking - not much chance of that . She was relieved , then , when a knock came at the door . She was even more relieved to see her Kelly standing there . Kelly was another niece from her other brother . She was 16 years old and reminded Minnie of herself . She was so eager to please and didn 't want to let anyone down . Minnie thought for sure that everything would go well with Julia now that she had someone more her age to talk to . It was clear after a few minutes , however , that Kelly felt just as self - conscious as Minnie did in front of Julia . Before long , they were all three silent in the little living room . The window air conditioner whirred on , its fan ticking away the excruciating minutes . Minnie looked from Kelly to Julia and back to Kelly again . She tried to get Kelly to say something , anything , to entertain her guest . But Kelly shrugged and her eyes were wide with uncertainty . Even so , Minnie detected Kelly 's own discomfort . Or maybe she was just uncomfortable enough for the both of them . She watched Kelly shift in her seat , look up at Julia , and then look back down at her book . Then Minnie looked over at Julia and wondered for the first time how long she had been reading that same page . She worried they had disturbed her too much . Maybe she couldn 't concentrate because of them . Finally , though , it was too much . Minnie couldn 't take the silence anymore . Julia could read her book any time , but she was in Minnie 's care now and Minnie wanted her to enjoy herself . " Kelly , why don 't you and Julia go for a walk ? " Minnie said . The words tumbled out of her mouth in a burst of impatience with the whole situation . Sweat ran down her face at having spent the last few minutes racking her brain trying to come up with something . By the time an idea finally occurred , she had crossed the line from worry into complete misery . She felt no choice but to blurt it out . Minnie watched her two nieces walk out of her yard and down the gravel road . It was a road Minnie walked almost every day . Despite her weight problem and inability to follow a diet more than a day , she did try to offset the damage to her heart by walking a little each day . There was a tree about half a mile down the road that she would walk to and then she 'd turn and walk back . She knew - or hoped - the girls would walk farther than that . She worried for them , though . What if a pack of dogs or a car full of boys or a hunter with a gun came along and threatened them somehow ? Minnie took a few tentative steps off her front porch . She thought about following the girls on their walk , but she knew she would never be able to keep up . Instead , she stood on the porch and waited for them to come home . The two cousins walked down the gravel road to the tree Minnie walked to each day . The only sound between them was the crunch of the gravel beneath their feet . Kelly 's earlier attempts to engage her cousin had been met with shrugs and more silence , so she decided it would be on Julia to break the silence . Kelly took the time , then , to think about their Aunt Minnie . She looked back toward the house and saw their old aunt standing on the front porch . She looked so earnest and kind of pitiful , even from a distance . Kelly looked back at her cousin and wondered why she was always so quiet . She was pretty sure that her mother had told Julia how to feel about their aunt - maybe she had told her how to feel about the whole family , even Kelly . She wondered if Julia realized how much Julia 's mother had sabotaged her relationship with everyone . She wondered if she knew how much their aunt loved her and how much she wanted to please her . In the past , before Julia became so silent about everything , she had told Kelly how brainwashed people could be . Kelly had wondered if this was a way to break her out of her own Minnie - imposed prison , to save Kelly from the same worries and pressures that Minnie put on herself . At the time , she admired Julia for saying these things and trying to help her not be like Minnie , but now she wondered if Julia knew how much she , too , had been brainwashed by people like her own mother . It 's not that Julia 's mother was mean , especially not to Kelly , but she had always kept an arm 's distance , just like Julia was doing . Minnie loved all of them , especially Julia 's mother , Kate , if for no other reason than because Kate was Leon 's wife . Kelly didn 't think the love was reciprocated on the part of Kate , but she would never say that to her Aunt Minnie . During one of the visits Kate and Julia made to Minnie 's house after Leon had died , Aunt Kate had sat in Minnie 's living room knitting . Kate was beautiful , just like her daughter , and very accomplished . She was so different from anyone Kelly had been around , including Minnie and her own mother . Kate was a principal at a grade school . Her evenings were taken up with all kinds of activities and classes that would further her education . If that weren 't enough , Kate was elegant in appearance . She wore her hair in a style that would 've been impossible for Minnie . There were combs and pins involved in her hair - do , whereas Minnie had curly , unforgiving hair . She had given up on such a style long ago . During their visit to Aunt Minnie 's house , other relatives had been called by Minnie to celebrate their visit . The living room was filled with family . Minnie had invited all the nearby relatives and even some from further away . She was never happier than when she could get a bunch of relatives together . Kelly looked from her Aunt Kate to her Aunt Minnie . Minnie was beaming , but Kelly knew she would never take her aunt up on such an offer . She suspected her aunt knew this as well - that the offer was merely to win points with Minnie and not genuine . And of course , Minnie would never suspect such manipulation . She was completely innocent of guile or duplicity . Uncle Leon had taught at the university in Knoxville . Kelly tried to imagine how it would be to be able to say her last name in a place where that last name was a good name , a respected name , an important name . She wouldn 't have to stammer and be bashful about her last name because of what her brother had done to their name . Kelly thought about all the times people looked at her when they realized who her brother was . There was always a look of judgment , always a sense that they had put her in the same box with him . It was a hard row to hoe , as Minnie would have said . Kelly thought of Minnie then . Maybe they weren 't so alike after all . Whenever Minnie had come across a snake , she went into some kind of trance . Her husband had always had to rescue her whenever it happened - and , living in the country , it happened at least a couple of times a year . She would stand in the yard and scream , but she couldn 't move . Kelly felt distantly responsible for Minnie 's fear of snakes . After all , it had been her father who had terrorized Minnie with them . If Minnie could be at fault for not having died in the place of Kelly 's father , it stood to reason that Kelly was at fault for Minnie 's phobia . Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . I succumbed to the spiritual pressure to be baptized on the first night . I didn 't trust waiting until the next night . A lot of things could happen in a day . I didn 't want to take any chances . Back at the little church in Appleton , though , it was like seeing the same movie over and over . It was always the same . I knew what would happen next , but still I watched . " You know Beulah 's funeral is tomorrow , " said Mrs . Morton . " Could you bring a pie to my house ? I 'll have Frank take it over to her . " There was always a funeral and always a pie needing to be made . Aunt Winnie always agreed to make it or whatever food was necessary to help out the grieving , hurting families . She also went to every funeral service . It 's what people did . Mrs . Morton nodded . " She was looking so much better than last time I saw her . I 'm so glad she doesn 't need that walker anymore . " Aunt Winnie 's mouth dropped open like she was trying to get the words out but she couldn 't . Finally , she whispered , " Are you sure it wasn 't someone who looked like my aunt ? Maybe someone far away ? " Mrs . Morton didn 't seem to notice Winnie 's surprise . " No , it was her , " she said . " We talked a bit when we were looking at the plums . " Winnie nodded and smiled a weak , confused smile , but she said nothing more . Her husband was walking up to the podium just then , so time for talk was over . Still , she seemed so shocked to hear that Aunt Emma was walking without a walker that she leaned forward to look over me to my mother . " Let us pray , " my uncle said . He bowed his head and closed his eyes . " Dear Lord , may the speaker of your word have a ready recollection of thoughts . May those thoughts move someone today to turn their life over to you . And please bless the hands of the women who are cooking for our bereaved family … . " I took a chance to open my eyes and look over at Winnie then . She was the one who was always pitching in and helping . My uncle had to be talking about her . I wanted to see if I could tell that she was proud of what he had said . But she didn 't seem to be listening . Her head was bowed , but her eyes were opened . She was looking down at her hands and she seemed troubled about something . My uncle finished his prayer . He repeated his concern for the lost souls of the congregation . When he said " Amen , " I looked around at the few dozen people and wondered who he thought was lost because we had all turned our lives over to God , even me . Did he know someone 's inner miseries that the rest of us didn 't ? Was he trying to reach them ? It was time to sing then and we were asked to stand . Most of the congregants were past sixty . They groaned as they forced themselves from the comfort of the wooden pews . While we sang , I noticed my aunt watching the cows in the field out the window . She continued to do this throughout the sermon . I looked at the back of Mrs . Morton 's head and wondered if Winnie was upset about what Mrs . Morton had said about Aunt Emma 's walker . I didn 't completely understand , but I knew she was worried about my other aunt for some reason . A few days later , Winnie came for a visit . She sat at my mother 's kitchen table , and she told her what Mrs . Morton had said . Mother seemed shocked as well . Mother shrugged and shook her head . " I can 't imagine . I 've never seen her without that walker . To go this long just pretending ? " I 'm not sure what Mother thought of when she heard this , but I had to put my cookie down because I was imagining Aunt Emma with gum or peanut butter or some other sticky substance all over her head . The thought of it made me want to laugh , but Aunt Winnie was so serious that I knew better . So I picked up my cookie and stuffed it in my mouth to keep from giggling . " Her hair is jet black now ! " Winnie said . She seemed almost angry , but I knew the look on her face was more about worry . " Hazel , I think she used shoe polish on her hair ! " " Even if she goes into a nursing home , she 'll expect me to visit everyday . I guess a home isn 't going to change that . But there 's a limit to what I can do , Hazel . " She worried - a lot . And it was my job not to worry her . It seemed to me that I had to be good to make up for my brother and all of his shenanigans . So , I didn 't push limits and I kept to just the one street . Up on the corner of my street was a small , two - bedroom house . I knew it had two bedrooms because I heard Mrs . Harris , one of our neighbors , whispering to my mother about it . Seeing that our house just had my mom and me , two bedrooms seemed plenty , but hearing how Mrs . Harris talked , I got the impression that meant it was extra small . The size took on new meaning when a family of five moved into that house over the winter . The house was a rental , so people were moving into and out of it all the time . This time , the Higgins family moved in . Nobody knew about it until the weather got warmer and we started venturing out of our houses again - and , boy did Mrs . Harris and all the other neighbors have something to say then . Mr . Higgins was a taxi driver but he often went days when no one needed a taxi ride . It was hard to tell what he was really like because he never spoke . He may have talked inside his house to Mrs . Higgins or the children , but he never spoke to or even looked at any of the neighbors . He and Mrs . Higgins had three children and another was on the way . Now that I knew how many bedrooms their house had , I did wonder how they all fit in there . Did all the kids sleep in one bedroom ? And where would the baby go when it was born ? Truth was , I couldn 't help but be a little jealous of such a large family in the tiny house . I wouldn 't have felt alone in their house . Maybe I could 've just immersed myself into the family and not let things worry me so much . The oldest child was Margaret . She was in third grade , two grades below me . People said she could 've been very pretty , but her teeth were coming in crooked . These same people would say that there was something about her that set her apart . Margaret was often put in charge of her mentally challenged brother , Junior . She did everything for him that he couldn 't do because Mrs . Higgins already had her hands full with the littlest child , Waynie . When her mother deemed it necessary , Margaret was even pulled out of school to help out . " What on earth is she going to do when she gives birth to that forth ? " My mother asked one night when we sat on the porch together and listened to Mrs . Higgins yelling at her kids . We lived half a block away and could make out every word . I felt bad for Margaret . At school , Margaret 's life wasn 't a picnic either . Kids made fun of her clothes and bullied her about how poor she was . I felt bad for not sticking up for her , but I wasn 't socially secure enough to stand up to anybody . What impressed me was how she had a way of flipping her black hair . It made it look like she could care less what those other kids thought . A part of me wished I had hair like that to flip in just that way . But then , I wasn 't bullied like she was and I was glad not to be . No matter where I went - school , home , or church - the Higgins family was the talk on everyone 's lips . Mrs . Green , one of the ladies from our church , stopped by our house one day after dropping off some donated groceries to the Higgins family . She was a florid - faced woman whose mouth was always set in a tight purse no matter what she did . When she delivered groceries to our neighbors , though , her mouth got so tight we thought it might pop right off . " You would not believe the state of that house , " Mrs . Green said . Her nose scrunched up like she smelled something bad . " She had the audacity to see my visit as a social call . " " The smell was horrific , " she said , her nostrils flaring this time , as if trying to air them out . " You could smell it from my car . " She looked out the open door to her late - model Buick LeSabre . " I hope it didn 't permeate my car ! " " Well , was she happy about the donations we took up for her family ? " my mother asked . I remembered then that we had taken some canned peaches and fruit cocktail to church with hopes Margaret might get to enjoy them . " I just do not know how that woman does it . There 's not a spot in the house to sit that isn 't covered in something . " Mrs . Green shivered . " To be polite , I pulled up an old wooden chair that seemed cleaner than the other things and watched her go through all the items like it was Christmas day . " I wasn 't sure how to interpret Mrs . Green 's snobbery . On the one hand , she had been nice to deliver those things to the Higgins family , but the way she spoke about them was the way other people talked about cockroaches and that seemed kind of mean . It was very confusing . I didn 't understand why she cared about giving a poor family groceries if she thought they were so disgusting . Since I only rode my bike up and down our street , I saw them often . One time I ventured to wave and say hi to Margaret . She looked down and half - waved back . Margaret 's eyes lit up for only a second and then she looked over at her mom . Mrs . Higgins didn 't look at me or say a word but she shook her head slowly no . Margaret looked down at her hands and shook her head too . " Don 't you come around here with that shiny new bicycle trying to make us feel poorer than we are , young lady ! " Mrs . Higgins yelled so loud I was sure everyone could hear her . " You get on out of our yard now ! We don 't need people like you trying to make us feel worse ! " I was so stunned that all I could do was stand there and stare back for a minute . I know I opened my mouth , but no sound came out . I trembled while I backed my bicycle out of their yard and rode back down the street toward my house . Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . It seemed like we had been waiting hours for my Aunt Opal to get ready to go . For a while , I had paced around the living room and kitchen like my mother . She spent the time cleaning up here and tidying there . Every now and then , she 'd look down at her watch and frown . There were two little lines in between her eyebrows that were only visible when Aunt Opal visited . On this day , they etched more deeply with every minute that passed . Opal swung open the door and swished out of the bathroom . " Keep your skirt on , Hazel , " she said . " It 's not like Cleo 's gonna go hungry . " Opal ambled down the hall . Her large hips curved out from her thin upper half , giving the impression that she had been sewn together from the parts of two different body types . If anyone was going to pull it off , though , it was my Aunt Opal . All my life I had heard about how she had been the beautiful one in the family . It seemed that , even now , even though age had settled into her features and her hair had started to thin , she wasn 't going to give up on that title . That explained the expensive night cream and why she brushed her hair 100 strokes everyday , but as a ten - year - old girl with a growling stomach , I had a hard time understanding why somebody would need so long to get ready for lunch . After what seemed like another eternity , we finally got in the car . Mother drove , I sat in back , and Opal settled into the passenger seat . The first thing she did was pull the windshield visor down to look at herself in the mirror . I had to keep from rolling my eyes at this . Hadn 't she just been doing that in the bathroom ? She grinned up into the mirror and examined her front - most teeth . " Lately , this lipstick 's been rubbing off on my teeth , " she said . " I don 't know what it is . I try to look my best and then things like this happen . " I felt the car jerk a little and looked over at Mother . Even from where I sat , I could tell she was angry . Her ears turned a little pink and her grip on the steering wheel tightented . " Well , it 's the truth , " Opal said . " That Neal was an odd duck . He just glared and glared . Never said a word . " She looked over at mother and made her eyes wide in a crazy stare . Mother had always taught me to respect the dead , even if we didn 't like them when they were alive . I looked around the car , feeling uneasy about what it might mean for my aunt to talk this way about my dead uncle . It seemed to me like she was asking for trouble . " Whether he was odd or not doesn 't matter , " Mother said after a moment . " Cleo loved him . She misses him and here you are going to lunch at her house happy about his death . " " I never had one conversation with Neal , " Opal continued . " Lord knows , I tried ! What kind of conversation can you have with someone who doesn 't talk back ? " " So you 're mad at me now , " Opal said . " Just because I said how I felt about Neal ? It 's not like you adored him . We both know how controlling he was . She couldn 't say a word without his permission and you know how much she loves to talk . " When she turned from the window , though , she started back up . " You remember that he lived with his mother , don 't you ? What kind of grown man lives with his mother ? " " Hazel , I have never in my life tried to control anyone ! " She shifted in her seat a little and wiped off some imaginary dust particles from her dress . " Sure , I 've tried to make helpful suggestions , but that 's not the same as controlling people . " " Let 's just face it , Cleo was not pretty , not terribly smart , and she towered over most of the boys . Don 't get me wrong . I 'm not putting her down . I 'm simply saying what happened . By the time Neal came around , she was 18 and had never had a real boyfriend . If a few more months had gone by , she would have been declared a spinster . I mean , let 's just call a spade a spade . She was desperate . " Mother sighed . I knew that sigh . It was the one that meant she felt helpless to do or say more . Her next words were quiet , tired . " Just try to be nice , please . " We had gone several more blocks before Opal turned to face my mother . " Do you know that Cleo didn 't even know how to spell her second child 's name when she gave birth ? Anybody in their right mind would have wondered or asked someone how the name Juanelle was spelled , but she obviously didn 't know or care because I saw the birth certificate . She had written it with a W , like the way it 's pronounced . But that 's not how you spell that name ! I wanted to say something to her , but I decided to be nice . I didn 't want to cause trouble . " My mother 's face was weary . I knew she had hoped this would be a happy occasion for Cleo to see her sister . She had been so lonely after Uncle Neal had died . She seemed to be rethinking the value in having Opal there as a way to boost Cleo 's morale . Mother blinked at my aunt and then turned her eyes back to the road . The shift in tone seemed to surprise both of us . There was something in Opal 's urgency that made me lean forward and listen harder . Opal and Jewel both lived in Fort Smith , Arkansas . They usually traveled together to visit the family , but on this occasion , Opal came alone because Jewel had to work . I can remember Mother 's disappointment in learning that her other sister couldn 't come . The truth was , Mother and Jewel were the best of friends and Opal was much more difficult to deal with when Jewel wasn 't there as a buffer . " His name is Tommy , " Opal continued . " What grown man calls himself Tommy ? " Her smile spread across her face , but it wasn 't the kind of smile somebody gets when they 're happy for someone . It 's the kind of smile my aunt got when she had gossip to share . It was always mean gossip , too , and wasn 't something I liked that much . I turned to look out the window and forget about the conversation , but my aunt had a way of talking that was hard to ignore . " Well , you know Jewel isn 't classically beautiful like I am , but she has a certain sweetness of spirit . He tried to sit by me at first , but I didn 't want some old guy hanging around , so I moved as far away as I could just as soon as he sat down . But our Jewel is so gullible . He just had to smile at her once and she smiled back . Needless to say , they 've been sitting together in church for almost a month and he takes her out for dinner all the time . " " No , " Aunt Opal said . Her eyes were wide with conspiracy . " Conveniently , they all seem to be dead . Our sister is acting like a teenager . She keeps asking me which dress she should wear to go out with him for supper or picnics on Saturdays . " Opal shifted in her seat and dabbed a finger at the curls along her temple . " It 's almost more than I can stand , to tell the truth . " " The other church people are just horrified . Althea Morgan took an instant dislike to him , but I think it 's only because he didn 't try to take her out . I guess my standards are just too high . I 'll never find another Lloyd . " Mother gasped . " I hope you told Jewel that a man will not be sleeping under my roof under any circumstances . I have a little girl to think about . " Her eyes flashed up to the rearview mirror and we made eye contact . I suddenly had a feeling of dread at meeting this Tommy person . What if bad people did go to church ? Opal must have gotten the reaction she was looking for . She grinned from ear to ear . Her tone was more serious , though , when she said , " I 'm just trying to give you some advanced warning . I don 't like to see people blind - sided . " Finally , we arrived at Aunt Cleo 's house . I couldn 't have been more ready to eat and be rid of some of these conversations about terrible men . I loved Aunt Cleo . She had the most interesting collection of things on her front porch that were constantly for sale . If I hadn 't been starving , I would have stopped to look at all the toys and books she had out there . It was always changing . I never knew where she got the stuff she sold , but for a kid , it was fascinating to look through . I could see that Aunt Opal didn 't agree , though . She canned the porch and then raised her eyebrows at my mother . Mother glared back at her with her warning eyes and anything my aunt might have said disappeared behind haughty eyes . After Cleo gave us all hugs , my aunt seemed apologetic when she said , " This is my inventory that I haven 't priced yet . " She reached to the couch and moved a large Raggedy Ann doll from the couch . " I 'm going to try to get it priced and out on the front porch for tomorrow . If you see anything you want , Opal , I might could give you a special price . " She smiled warmly . " No … " Opal started . Her voice sounded harsh . Then , more softly , " No , thank you . I don 't need any earrings . " Beneath the tightness of her voice , I heard the real meaning of her words . She didn 't want to wear earrings she thought that had been dug out of someone 's trash . " I was saving this back for you , Opal , if you want it . " She pulled out what at first looked like a colorful caftan . " I know you are always looking for something comfortable to wear . " " I have nice clothes , Cleo " Opal said sounding offended . " I wouldn 't ever wear something like that . In fact , I don 't know any kind of woman who would wear something like that . " Cleo took a step back from her sister and looked at the cloth as if seeing it for the first time . The sides of her mouth dipped down . She seemed embarrassed and sad at the same time . Cleo had spent much of the summer working on the painting . It was called Pinkie and Blue Boy . If anyone asked her about them she was glad to tell people that they weren 't meant to be a pair , and were originally painted by two different artists . But like the rest of the artistic community , Cleo thought they were meant to be together . When Cleo was painting she rarely looked up even to talk to people . There were such tiny spaces that needed to be filled in with a color , and then she had to wait for the oil paint to dry . She worked arduously for hours at a time on her new project . Neal had only died a few months before , and Cleo 's grief was still fresh . My mother 's grief over the loss of my father had been plowed under more urgent matters years ago , but she knew what Cleo was going through . She was used to walking into a room and seeing only furniture , lamps , and a television where people used to laugh and talk . She knew the darkness of a day by herself in a house when no one called or came by . So , Cleo had her painting of Pinkie and Blueboy . She had Pinkie over half done , but had not yet started on Blueboy . When Opal picked up the box the painting had come in , she looked at my mother and pointed to the writing on the box . " Appropriate for ages 8 - 12 . " My mother ignored her and kept following Cleo into the kitchen . Mother instructed me to set the table while she put the water on to boil for the macaroni and cheese . Meanwhile , Aunt Opal walked around with flared nostrils , as if everything had a stench to it that was hard to place . Sitting on the counter was a package of ground meat . Opal traced a finger over the sticker that read " Reduced for Quick Sale " and made a face . She tried to get my mother 's attention , but she was too busy helping get lunch prepared . I dared not make eye contact with Aunt Opal . I did not want to be seen in league with her opinions . Finally , it was time to eat and Cleo asked Opal to say the blessing . For the first time ever , I heard my aunt falter . And then I realized she didn 't say a word about the food . Usually , when adults said grace , they were thankful for the food we were about to eat , but Aunt Opal left that part out . " I was only trying to save your life , " she hissed . " Did you see that package of ground beef ? It was warm and it was reduced for quick sale ! You 'd think you 'd be grateful to me for trying to warn you about it ! " Opal stood up then too and threw her napkin on the table . Her face had the look of someone who had bitten into a lemon . " Think what you want , but I wouldn 't eat anything from this kitchen if you paid me to . " Cleo drew herself up , shoulders back . When she stood like that , she was right at six feet tall . Any timidity she had had before completely dissolved . She was angry . " Nothing would be good enough for you , Opal . " She held out a hand which pointed to the front of the house . " So you can just leave . " I looked over at Mother . She had her head in her hands and I could tell a migraine was coming on . I silently counted on my fingers how many more days until Aunt Opal left . No matter how long it was , it seemed like an eternity . Opal stomped back through the house and Cleo followed behind . Opal picked up the caftan and held it before her sister . " Look at this . You think I want some prostitute 's cast off clothing ? Even if I did , I wouldn 't buy it from your porch sale ! " Mother slid out from the table and motioned for me to join her . I had only gotten a couple of bites of macaroni and cheese , so I was still hungry . But I did as I was told , turning back only briefly to take in the table of food . I couldn 't see what Aunt Opal did . The food looked delicious . Cleo patted her on the arm and I remember thinking it odd that Cleo was comforting my mother after all the things Opal had said . " Don 't worry , Hazel . I 've been dealing with Opal all my life . I can take care of myself . " Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . I stood at the kitchen counter slicing carrots for soup . I don 't know what is happening to you . You are changing in front of my eyes , and I want to grab onto you and pull you back to normal . When I took you to the neurologist yesterday , he told us to start looking for a nursing home for you . You looked at me and winked as if it was a big joke . And it is . I have no intention of you ever going to a nursing home . You came to our house to spend the night . I look forward to these visits . When Brandon was little , it was the highlight of his week . Brandon would run out to your car and help you carry in your things . I 've reminded Brandon often that once someone loves you as much as you loved Brandon , it doesn 't go away - ever . As time goes by , I see that you are getting worse . I feel shadows and darkness gathering closer to me . Even on days when the sun is shining , the light seems murky and eerie and not like real sunshine at all . Yesterday , I got in my car and drove with no destination in mind . I screamed in my car where no one could hear me . I have begged God to not let this happen to you . Or if it has to happen to you , I beg God to take you now before you get any worse . I know I can 't stand for you to get any worse . Today I made some calls to local nursing homes . I have finally reached the point where I know that this is our only option . To leave you in your home would be negligent . I went to your house tonight . It is the last evening you will ever be at home . You had several trash bags in your living room . You were putting things in the bags . I looked in one and found a pitcher , a puzzle , and a picture of me from high school . Each of these items started with the letter " P . " I still try to make sense of the things you do . You went to the nursing home today . I watched you walk down the sidewalk into the nursing home . My heart ached when I remembered my promise to myself and to you that you would never go to a nursing home . I had hoped and prayed that God would intervene , but He did not . You sat on your bed . I gave you some cookies to eat and hung up your clothes in the closet . There seemed to be so much more of an explanation I should make to you . When I woke this morning my first thought was that you are in the nursing home , and I must go and get you . I was certain that you felt as if we had abandoned you . You probably didn 't even know where you were . You waited until your silence caused me to look back at you . Then you stared me right in the eye and said , " I know what you 're up to . You just want to get rid of me . " You might as well have slapped me . I stood in your doorway and felt my legs tremble . I never wanted this for you , for us , but I would never convince you of that . It would be along time before I would ever know peace again . The nursing home called to tell me that you had gone out the door and started walking down the road . They wanted me to come talk to you . They said that if you kept doing that , they would have to put you in restraints . When I got there , you shrugged and said , " I wasn 't lost . " You pointed somewhere only you could see . " I was only going across the field to visit Mama . " Your sister , Opal , called me from Arkansas today . She told me to bring you home from that nursing home . She hasn 't seen you . She can 't comprehend what has happened to you . There 's no way to explain in a phone call what has happened to you . There 's no way to explain what has happened to you if I had days and days . Today was your first birthday in the nursing home . Gary , Brandon , and I took you out to eat at a restaurant . While we were eating , I asked you what you had done that day . You said you had made some pies . The first time I saw you in a posey vest restraint , I didn 't think I could stand it . I wanted to rip it off you and take you out of there . But where would I take you ? You broke your hip yesterday . Seeing you in physical pain is so hard now because you don 't understand what has happened . I have to keep explaining to you that you broke your hip , and a few minutes later , you ask me again what happened . Doctors and caregivers dismiss you and direct their questions to me . If only there was something I could do to make all of this go away for you , I would do it . You had hip surgery today . When you were in surgery , I thought maybe you would die a peaceful painless death and all of this would be over . But you woke up to your confused upside - down world . It 's almost Christmas . Brandon has been in several track meets but I have not attended any . It seems to be all I can do to absorb what has happened to you . I thought after the first Christmas with you in the nursing home , I would have a pattern to go by , but this Christmas fills me with dread . How will I ever get through the rest of my life ? Does it ever get any easier , Mother ? It 's Christmas Eve . It seems like a cruel joke , actually . All the glitzy decorations and the songs I used to like seem wrong and mean . We gave you your presents and sat with you for awhile . You asked me the same questions over and over and I tried to be patient with you . I know you can 't help it . You wanted to know where my father is . You asked again and again why your parents have not come to visit you . Today , I helped you up out of the wheelchair and you stumbled , but then you took small steps as I held tightly onto you . You weren 't walking well , but it 's progress ! I looked at the elation on your face and felt such joy in my own heart . You are getting better and coming back to us instead of always floating farther and farther away . Today is Brandon 's 17th birthday . We talked about his birth and first few days in this world . When I got to the part about Gary and I bringing Brandon home from the hospital to your house , my voice broke . I didn 't mean for it to happen . I wanted this to be a happy time for Brandon . I described you coming out into the yard and meeting Gary and wrapping Baby Brandon up in your arms and carrying him into your house . You gave him his first bath and your arms held him when he whimpered in the night . Your voice comforted him during those first few days of his life . He learned so much love from you mother . It 's a lot for all of us to lose . A whole lot . I used to think Aunt Winnie was so silly to make so much of family , but here I am feeling the same way . I feel so alone . I keep thinking that there is someone I have overlooked - someone who would help me - if I could just think of who it is . I haven 't seen you in almost a month . Brandon was in a wreck on August 5th . We heard the sirens in the distance and a feeling came over me . You know how those feelings are . I knew that it was Brandon - deep in my soul . My legs were jelly when I saw the wreck . I ran screaming across the field to get as close to him as I could . I walked right up to the car past the paramedics and looked at him but he didn 't know I was there . He had several life - threatening injuries , but he was alive . My Brandon was alive . He didn 't die in that wreck . It 's all I could think about - how close I came to losing my future so quickly on the heels of losing my past . Brandon walked across the stage and claimed his high school diploma tonight . He still limps a little , but he 's alive . When he was little , I thought the days would never end and he would never settle down and go to sleep . Now all those days are gone . You told me this time would come , Mother . Now I would love to have some of that other time back . Is that the way you feel , too ? Your sister , Jewel , died today . I didn 't tell you . I know that she was your favorite . You told me that she always took time to read stories to you when you were a little girl . I 'm glad you had such a sweet older sister . When you get to heaven , Jewel will be there waiting for you . November 24 , 1996 Another Thanksgiving has come . Brandon helped me with cooking . I know you probably cannot imagine it , but Brandon is 21 . Sometimes it seems as if everything stopped when you got sick and that Brandon will be forever 16 . But time has marched on . I came to visit you at the nursing home today . But of course it wasn 't you I saw . It was what is left of you . You were sitting in the dining room holding your doll . I pretend that the doll is a baby because I would do anything to make your life a little happier . There are times when I can 't cry . Those are the worst times . I feel as if I don 't have any more tears . It doesn 't make any earthly sense to me that you have kept on living all these years . Your sister , Opal , died last week . I sent flowers to Jewel 's funeral , but I just couldn 't make myself send flowers to Opal 's . You would be ashamed of me , I guess . I so wish I could come and sit down and talk to you about everything that has happened . There are so many things I need to tell you . Brandon is getting married in August . I know that to you , Brandon is still a little baby , but in reality he is a grown man . You have been there every step of his life , and I don 't think any of us know what to do without you . Life is so much harder than we ever thought it would be . I feel as if I have been at your funeral for six years . I don 't know if I will ever adjust to you not being you . I don 't want to remember you like this ! At times when this facsimile of you talks , I listen close and strain to hear what my real Mother would say . My heart yearns to share this burden with you . Would you understand how painful this has been ? Would you be surprised at what you have become and the anguish and sorrow your illness has caused ? There are no rituals or traditions to follow in this long goodbye . There is only grief and sadness every day . There are no days off , no closure , no time to grieve and move on . Your death is a living death and you don 't even know that you have died . Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . My mother had just been telling me about her day , like it was any other day . Her question , though , seemed to come out of nowhere . It hit me like a sour note in a song . We had been talking for at least ten minutes and , not only had she not yet mentioned this man , she didn 't seem at all shaken by it . " What man ? " I asked . My mind raced through a thousand scenarios of why there might be a man in her car and what could possibly have happened . I tried to remind myself that I was talking to my mother . She was still alive . No mention had been made yet of any ransom required to release her from kidnappers . Cleo was my mother 's sister . She was tall and stick - figure thin and she hated it . As a young woman , she had worried about being so tall and finding a man who would love her . When Neal came along , it was clear to everyone that she felt as if she had won the lottery . Cleo wasn 't my mother 's favorite sister , but Mother was happy when my aunt and uncle moved back to Denison . The two of them talked for hours on the phone at night after Neal had gone to sleep . Cleo didn 't talk on the phone if her husband was around . Even after all the years of being married to him , she was careful to cook his favorite foods and listen to his stories and make him feel special . " Cleo called me this morning and told me she was about as lonesome as she could be , " Mother continued . " You know she sold her car because she can 't drive . It 's lucky that she lives right by Kroger so she can at least get her groceries . " Mother sighed . I couldn 't tell if it was because of Cleo or because the people at Kroger were mad . I told myself she was telling me all of this to lead up to the man in her car , but it did seem to be taking forever . " She told them she was only taking her groceries home and would bring the cart back , but they 've been watching her when she comes in now . She would prefer to go somewhere else for her groceries . Now she can only buy a day 's worth of groceries , and she picks up her sack and wouldn 't think of even touching a grocery cart in their store . It 's all so ridiculous ! " " Oh yes , before I went to Cleo 's house I made a lemon meringue pie and oh , it was so good ! Cleo said she hadn 't eaten anything that good in so long . I stayed at her house all afternoon and we talked about old times because , you know , those were the best times . Even if we were as poor as Job 's turkey , we had fun together when the kids were little . " An old twinge of jealousy tightened my chest and burned up to my ears . The times she reminisced about - the times she called " the best " - were the years well before I was born . My parents had been married for 20 years and had two nearly grown sons when I came along . Talk like that only reinforced my feeling that I really wasn 't part of my family . I had missed so much being born so late . And I wasn 't stupid enough to assume I had been planned . There 's nothing quite so unsettling as to realize you 're not just an accident but you missed all the years when the family was a real family . " That Cleo , " she said . " They broke the mold after they made her . Do you remember that summer that she sued the bus company ? She wore that neck brace for months and everyone watched when she would try to raise her hand above her head ! Her hand would start shaking . You could tell she was just doing it on purpose ! Mother would be laughing hysterically by then but Cleo got the last laugh because she won a big settlement . " " I will , I will , " she said . She still had the laugh in her voice about Cleo 's bus settlement . My outburst hadn 't even fazed her . " So , I took Cleo that pie and we had to talk in spurts because , even if it was raining , people still came by to look through her porch sale items . I wouldn 't want people coming to my house all day like that ! You can barely get through all the clothing racks and boxes of knickknacks and tables with costume jewelry to get to her front door ! That would drive me crazy to have all that on my front porch ! You know that one of her neighbors reported her to some city agency , whatever agency it is that makes all the city rules people have to follow . They said she had a perpetual garage sale , and that is not allowed in the city of Denison . " " Yes , " she said . Her voice became thoughtful then . " I wanted to get home before dark . You know how I hate to get home after dark . Cleo seemed to be in better spirits . She packed up some of that custard that I like . Mine never tastes as good as hers . It makes me wonder if she may have left out some of the ingredients when she gave me the recipe . " Well , I had my purse and the custard and a few books in my arms as I started out the door and that 's when I saw him ! My car was parked in Cleo 's driveway there at the side of her house . It wasn 't ten feet away from where I was standing . For a minute , I just stood there looking at him , sort of awestruck , I guess . Cleo had gone back to her kitchen at the back of the house , and I stood there looking at him for the longest time . He was sitting at the steering wheel . He was a large man and he was wearing dark shades and a white shirt . I didn 't know what to do . I stared at him but he just kept looking straight ahead . Then he turned his head slightly and looked right at me . You talk about a creepy feeling ! I started backing up into Cleo 's house and I whispered real loud for her to come . I told her there was a man in my car . " Cleo asked me if I knew the man , but of course I didn 't know him ! Would I have been shaking like I was if I did ? And then she asked how we were supposed to get him out of there . " When I told her I didn 't know , she threw her dish towel over her shoulder and started toward my car ! I tried to stop her . I told her he might shoot her head off , but she just kept going ! She said she wanted to ask him what he was doing in my car ! When she got to the car and opened the passenger door , he was gone ! Cleo looked everywhere , but there was no sign of the man in the white shirt with dark shades . " At some point in my mother 's story , I had had to sit down . I imagined my mother 's car being stolen or Aunt Cleo being shot . I was wondering why they hadn 't just called the police and was close to hanging up to call them myself . But when she said my aunt hadn 't seen anybody , my pulse slowed a little and the panic that had been building up eased . It had been nothing , I told myself . " He looked right at me , " she said , sounding a little hurt . " I didn 't like him looking at me . It was like he was waiting for something . I didn 't like the feeling at all . And then he just disappeared into thin air . One minute he was there , and the next minute he wasn 't . " Karen Brode is a senior contributor Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , Texas and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . Winnie reached up to turn off the radio . It was better if she didn 't think of him . She stared out the kitchen window and sunk her gloved hands back into the plastic dishpan . She tried not to think of him . There was no way that anything could ever be worked out now . She remembered that spring when her life had been so happy . She was 24 years old . She had graduated from college and started teaching at the community school . And then , almost on cue , there he was at church one night . Every time she peeked at him , he was looking at her as if his whole world revolved around her . She didn 't understand this . She knew she wasn 't pretty . She had inherited her mother 's olive complexion and her uncontrollable hair . She couldn 't remember the number of times she had given up in despair trying to make it look normal . But it never did . It was easier when she was a child . She wore it in a long braid down her back , but as she had gotten older , a braid looked ridiculous , so her mother had cut it off when Winnie entered high school . Her hair was bad enough , but she wasn 't like any of the other girls at church who wore makeup . She had no clue where to get it , let alone how to wear it ! The only places she ever went were to church , work , and the grocery store . The grocery store only had basic necessities like flour and sugar and cornstarch . And even if she could get it , she didn 't know who to ask to help her with it . Lucy Bradshaw was one of those girls who never needed that sort of help . She seemed to understand instinctively how to use makeup to make her beautiful eyes stand out more . And , of course , she did everything she could to bat her baby blues at the handsome man who had started coming to church . But , miraculously , it didn 't work . He seemed to have eyes meant only for Winnie . His name was Gene . Eventually , she learned to accept his attention to her . It still troubled her that Lucy Bradshaw and Clara Bates stared daggers at her from the other side of the church , but it 's not like she had thrown herself at Gene . If she could 've understood what it was that he found attractive in her , she would try to capitalize on that , but he seemed to accept her for who she was and what she looked like . Among the mundane , Winnie wanted to ask him what he saw in her that he wouldn 't want those pretty girls , but she never did . After all , her skin was leathery from picking cotton under the unrelenting north Texas sun . Her hands were rough and hard . It would make so much more sense to her if she could understand what he saw in her . In late May of that year , when school was almost out , Gene came to her house on a Sunday afternoon . This was not something he had done before . Winnie and Gene sat together in the glider out by the shed . It was a nice day , and shady where they sat . He seemed nervous and excited . She could tell he had something very important to tell her . From her place on the glider , she could also see her mother , Effie , pulling the kitchen curtain to the side keeping watch over everything that happened . Winnie panicked a little when Gene slid off the glider and knelt at her feet . She thought maybe he was hurt . Her first instinct was to try to help him . Then he opened the little black velvet box and asked her to marry him . He put the ring on her finger and , for the first time , kissed her lips . It was all too much for her . She cried out of joy and wonderment . All of it felt like someone else 's life . These things didn 't happen to her ! But the curtain shifted at the window and a familiar twang of guilt nudge her side . She was very practical minded and was led mostly be loyalty to her family . She hesitated then and looked down . " I … I need to let you know next Sunday , " she said in a whisper . Her eyes flickered up to his face and then beyond to the window . " I need some time to think things over . " " I got a job in Missouri , " he told her . " I 'll be going there in a few weeks . I 'd love for you to be there with me . " She sat as still as possible on the glider when he got up to leave . She didn 't want this moment to end . She realized she had been holding her breath after he had walked far enough down the road that she couldn 't see him anymore . Effie 's face twisted up like she had eaten a lemon . " Well , you might as well just get the gun and shoot me now . " She rubbed her neck with a handkerchief . " It 's just as well . My life is almost over anyway . I wouldn 't want to go on living if you were way off in Missouri . I don 't even know where that is ! " Her rant continued with the nervous energy and fear fluttering out through shaking hands . " It 's not like I could make a trip there ! " She clutched her chest and fanned herself while waddling off toward the house . " Oh , my chest hurts . I 'm going to lie down in my bed and hope death comes quickly . I don 't want to linger . " Winnie tossed and turned through many nights wondering and worrying and trying to figure things out . She was certain that Effie could not keep her there with anything but guilt . But guilt was Effie 's currency . She manipulated her husband and her children with it , everyone except for Albert . Somehow he had escaped the chokehold of their mother 's guilt . It was three o ' clock in the morning on the Wednesday before Winnie would give Gene his answer . Effie woke and went to Winnie 's room to tell her she thought she was having a heart attack . Winnie walked Effie back to her bed with soothing words , just like she would have done a child of her own , and waited while her mother slipped back into sleep . But Winnie did not sleep . On Sunday morning , Winnie put the black velvet box in her purse and went to church . Gene was waiting for her there . He watched her walk up with happy anticipation . His face practically glowed . She took her usual place beside him on the pew . When the last song had been sung , she asked Gene to follow her to the back of the building . It seemed an appropriate place for what she had to say . Cigarette butts littered the ground and the smell was heavy with the smoke of men who went there to smoke out of sight of their wives or the minister . She looked up into Gene 's face . Only moments before , it had had such a soft , gentle expression . Now , his mouth dropped open and he leaned against the church building like he would fall if it hadn 't been there to catch him . Shaking , she took one of his hands and placed the box into it . And with as much courage as she could muster , she turned and walked toward her house . She didn 't look back . She knew if she did , she would never go home and she would live to regret leaving her mother . Even all these years later , the memory of Gene 's proposal left Winnie in heart wrenching sobs . She did love Gene . Why had her mother constantly stood between her and any happiness she might have ? Karen Brode is a senior contributor for Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , TX and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . " How in hell could I not be mad ? " His chest rose and fell with the hot , angry breaths he took . His fists opened and closed in sync to his breathing . " Why aren 't you mad ? You know he is just going to keep on doing these things . You sure aren 't going to stop him . It 's all up to me . " He started to turn back toward his son 's bedroom but Hazel 's face made him stop . It was a soft , gentle face , so vulnerable . He thought back to his mother 's words before he married Hazel . His mother had never pretended to like Albert . In return , he certainly had never cared about her the way a son should about his mother . He thought about a family picture his mother had shown Hazel before their marriage . In the photo , Albert stood off by himself . He remembered that day . His parents and sister and little brother all huddled together as if they were one big happy family . But he knew better . He knew they didn 't love him like they loved each other . The photo proved that . Was he supposed to smile and hide the disgust he had for all of them too , just because they wanted to be something they weren 't ? Standing in the hall with his little doe of a wife , he knew his mother had been right about Hazel being weak . He saw the pain in her face . He knew it worried her so much that he could fly off the handle so easily , especially when it came to their son John . In his defense , though , he was such a difficult kid . He threw up his hands and said , " Just let him do what he wants , then . He 'll end up in reform school or prison . " He looked past Hazel and sighed . " I 'm so tired of trying to get through to him . " He pushed passed his wife in the hall and went to the back door . If he couldn 't fix his son , he 'd keep working on that darn boat he was building . Even that had pain in it , though . He had started building it with hopes that his son would maybe want to help him with it . He wanted his son to be with him and he wanted them to have some good times . He thought if he could manage to get John to even come out and watch him as he went through the steps , maybe somehow he could reach that part of him that was like him . But he had yet to see any hint of that . His son wasn 't like his side of the family . He was a Morrison through and through . Albert poured his frustration into sanding the board he was working on . He thought about how John had never been like him and how his wife was so taken with him , so protective . Sure , he was a good - looking kid , but Hazel went overboard . She made all of his shirts on her sewing machine in the bedroom . Even that made Albert mad , though , because when she stepped on the foot pedal of the sewing machine , the television turned to snow and static . If Albert was watching a baseball game or a wrestling match , he could just forget it . John 's shirts were way more important to his wife than anything Albert wanted . His mind turned to Hazel 's family , her sister , Opal . This was really all her fault . If Opal hadn 't constantly told Hazel how ugly she was as a child , she might realize how beautiful she was and not have to live vicariously through their son . It didn 't matter how often Albert told Hazel how she looked like a million dollars when she did herself up , she never believed him . And so she took all her pride in her son 's looks . She thrilled at the sight of young girls walking up and down the street giggling and stealing glances at the house with hopes of seeing John . Albert stood there staring at the half - finished boat . He felt hopeless thinking about his son . None of the things Hazel did made John any more devoted to being a good son . He knew if he even tried to talk to his son , he would look at him with that look of complete , bland disrespect . In those moments , Albert didn 't trust himself not to hurt John . He brought out the absolute worst in Albert ! Maybe it was better to just try not to be around his son . But that wasn 't the answer either . He would be shirking his duty as a father . And yet , at every turn he knew that Hazel would be there to stand between him and John no matter what . The phone rang in the house and Albert listened when Hazel picked up the line . From what he could tell , it was John 's teacher . He could only imagine what he had done this time . When Hazel got off the phone , she looked outside at Albert . They made eye contact , but she broke the gaze off quickly . He knew it was bad if Hazel didn 't want to tell him what the call was about . And he knew her excuse would be that she didn 't want to worry him with these things . Albert felt his blood pressure rise until his ears were ringing . What he wanted to do was go give that son of his a good dose of whatfor . But he was tired of fighting and he knew Hazel would be there to block him , so he picked up a hammer and took out his anger on the boat . Karen Brode is a senior contributor for Jet Planes and Coffee . She grew up in Denison , TX and graduated from Denison High School in 1972 . She took courses at Southeastern Oklahoma State University and worked in a church office for 25 years . She and her husband , Gary , have been married 39 years and they have one son , Brandon . Karen 's hobbies are writing , sewing , and gardening . Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this :