Going into the kitchen , I found it cold and empty , with a note on the fridge door . " Children , have some cereal for breakfast and be sure to wash up the dishes after you eat . The house needs dusting , and be sure to pick up your rooms before you go outside anywhere . There is bread and peanut butter in the pantry , also , there are some apples in the fruit bin of the fridge . Keep out of trouble , Zebulon ! Rosie , you watch after your brothers and little sister , please . I 'm counting on all of you . Ma . " Well , that was some way to start off a Saturday , I thought . Looking out the kitchen window , I could see it had begun to snow . It wouldn 't be long until Christmas . What would it be like this year ? With a heavy heart , as I sat eating my bowl of cold cereal , reflecting on my question , I heard a knock at the back door . Running over to open it , I saw it was Sgt . Finley . " Hello , Zeb , how are you this morning ? Is Mrs . O ' Hanlon at home ? " he inquired . " Hey , " I replied . " Nah , she 's at work already , and I jist got up . Come on in ! " Looking around the kitchen , he pulled out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table . I was still wondering what we were going to talk about . are you and your family doing , now , since your dad is gone ? I know you are probably having it a bit rough since you were working for Rafferty , running numbers . I don 't think you would choose to do that for fun . " was murdered , since that was the last place he was seen . Have you all found out anything about how it happened ? Do you know anything at all ? It has been a long time , you know . I still think I could find out more about it . They were beginning to talk around me , forgetting I was even there . . . I 'm sure . . . " " I 'm that we don 't know anything for sure , yet , but I 'm continuing to work on it . I was headed that way when I saw you down there the other day , but had to detour to take you home . Now , please , won 't you stay out of it ? For your own safety ? Tell me , now , what about your family and how you are all doing . " him square in the eyes , I began to be curious about his interest in my family . We were just one of many families he came into contact with daily . What was it about us that drew his interest ? Why the special treatment ? to take the bull by the horns , I inquired point blank , " Sgt . Finley , why the special interest in my family ? Is there something you 're not telling me ? " you 'll remember , you came to me with a problem , lad . You wanted some help with the boys at school and I gave you that help , didn 't I ? I just saw someone in trouble that needed help . Then I ran into you down near Dooley 's Bar . Isn 't that right ? " I thought about what he was telling me ; but still , I wasn 't satisfied completely with that answer . " Why are you here , today , then ? What is it that you wanted to discuss with me ? Did you know my Ma before you came to our house to search for my Da ? " I had met her before , quite a few years ago , when she had been beaten so badly that she was hardly recognizable . The neighbors called us out to her home when they heard the ruckus coming from the house . Your father had been beating her for several hours , drunk as a skunk , and shouting obscenities at her . I was just a rookie cop at the time , and I was so incensed at his brutality , that I told him I ever heard of him laying a hand on her again , I 'd kill him with my bare hands . " At hearing his story , tears welled up in my eyes , both of shame for my father and sympathy for my mother . I hung my head and cried bitterly . Sgt . Rafferty patted me on the shoulder , unable to speak any more of that time . Lifting my chin then with his index finger , he looked at me . " You have nothing to be ashamed of , Zeb . You are not responsible for anything your father did and should not bear the blame . Just remember to always treat womenfolk in a kind and gentle manner . You will get much more satisfaction from that than from laying your hands on them in anger . " I never told him about the beatings my Da had given most all of us kids , or about the way he continued to beat my Ma when she was expecting a baby . He wanted no more kids in the house . But he always beat her where she wouldn 't show the bruises . " Did you ever come back to see my Ma ? " I asked him . your father 's activities . You may not realize it , but he spent as much on gambling as he did on drink . I often patrolled the neighborhood where you all lived . I never spoke to your mother , though . Just watched over her , as I had told your father I would . I doubt very much if she even recognized me from so long ago . " I listened , open - mouthed , as he related his story to me . I couldn 't tell him how my Da had continued to beat her through the years , without making him feel as though his efforts had been in vain . Instead , I thanked him for caring and protecting her . there , listening to him talk , I began to fantasize about what it would be to have someone like him for a Da , so I boldly asked him , " Sgt . Finley , are you married ? Do you have any children ? " their families . After all , that is why I went into police work . My father before me was a cop who walked a beat for years , and it is what I have known all my life . He taught me that men are to be protectors of those who can 't protect themselves . He was one of the finest people I 've Zeb , for the reason I came to see you . Have you been reading the Testament I gave you a few weeks ago ? Are there any questions you have for me ? " important ? How long ago did he live , and why did he die ? Did he actually come back to life ? Or is it all just a make - believe story ? " all . Yes , the whole book is true , and not just a story . Jesus lived over two thousand years ago , and is still living today . He was put to death in our place , to die for sins that everyone committed or will ever commit . Then he arose again , and conquered death and the grave . I know you don 't understand it all , but you keep thinking about it and we will talk some more , okay ? Keep reading ; even read the same things over again . When you have finished John , then go to Luke and read how Jesus was born . Now , I have to go ; my family is waiting for me . Please , remember , don 't go back into that part of town again . You know where to find me . " He ruffled my hair , tipped my shoulder with a closed fist in farewell , and left . I had a lot to think about . down at the almost empty bowl of cereal , I saw it was soggy , but finished it anyway . Then , rinsing the bowl , I put it into the sink , and went to my bedroom to get dressed and think . As still needed some money to get some gifts for my family . How was I going to do so ? I looked outside and saw the snow was beginning to pile up on the sidewalks . I had already forgotten my Ma 's written instructions . The snow gave me an idea , so I put on my coat , gloves and warm toboggan . Going to the shed out back , I picked up the snow shovel and ran next door , to old Mrs . Grogan 's house . Knocking on the door , I waited for her opened the door slightly and looked out , then she looked down and saw me . " Yes ? What do you want , Zebbie ? " ( She always called me that . I don 't Zebbie , honey , I can 't pay you anything . I 'm sorry . I just don 't have any money left over after paying the landlord and the doctors and getting my groceries . " " That 's okay , I 'll shovel it for you anyway . " I just felt obligated to shovel it now . She was always so kind to me . " Young man , please stomp the snow off your boots if you don 't mind ! " " Yes , Ma ' am , " I replied , dutifully obeying her . She come into the kitchen , Zebbie , and take a seat at the table . I have some hot chocolate for you , to warm you up on the inside . I 'll bet you haven 't had anything hot for breakfast , have you ? " " No , ma ' am , I haven 't . How did you know that ? , " I asked with the curiosity and lack of inhibition that the young possess . " Oh , " Hmmm , yes , yes , of course you are . How is your chocolate ; is it good ? " She fixed her bird - like eyes upon mine , smiling . looked at the dime with longing , but replied , " No , ma ' am , the hot chocolate was enough . I enjoyed talking to you , too . But , thank you , anyway . " I left her house , I thought about how clean she kept her house . I didn 't see a speck of dust in it , even with her using a walker to get around . I remembered then that Ma had asked us in the note to dust the house and pick up our rooms . Well , the dusting was girls ' work , and Les could pick up our room , I reckoned . I went on down the street , knocking at the next neighbor 's house to see if I could shovel their walkways . next day , I found out what the big deal was , much to my dismay . When I got up on Sunday morning , my Ma was running the vacuum cleaner over the house , and giving directions to everybody that was up . You would have thought President Eisenhower was coming to see us . Ma had Rosie polishing the furniture in the living room , and that stuff stank to high heaven , I thought . It smelled a little like coal oil or something . I held my nose and went into the kitchen , where I smelled something that was much better . A lot of heat was coming from the cookstove , so I went over and opened the oven door , sneaking a peek . man , you just sit down and eat your breakfast , and quit with the questions ! I have too much to do to bother with all the chatter . Then you get in there and get dressed ! Did you take a bath last night ? " soon , Ma was setting the table with our good china , and an extra place was set where Da had used to sit . No one had sat there since he was gone . I tried sitting there once , and my Ma said to get back to where I was supposed to sit . This was all beginning to make me nervous . Who was coming , anyway ? got my answer when the doorbell rang at about noon . Ma whipped off her apron , and fussed at her hair for a couple of seconds , and giving us a " Don 't you say a word " look , she smiled and opened the door . " Come in , Mr . Hopkins ! We were just getting ready to put dinner on the table , " she simpered . just stood back , open - mouthed , watching as he came in proprietorially , and handed his hat to me to put on the hall coat rack . " Well , well ! Ellen , you have a lovely home here , and hmmm - hmm , is that roast I smell for dinner ? " we were all seated at the table , with Mr . Hopkins seated in my Da 's place , and he was tucking his napkin into his shirt collar . I was absolutely fuming at his audacity of sitting in my Da 's chair , but knowing I could do nothing to stop him . " Well , Ellen , why don 't you introduce me to your children ? " apologized for us , saying we were just bashful , but that we 'd warm up to him when we got to know him . Then she got up and brought the roast into the dining room and set it on the table in front of him , so he could carve it . The vegetables had already been placed on the table . to get away from the table , I jumped up and ran to the door . Imagine the surprise on my face when I saw the woman standing there , with her hand raised to knock on the door . She had a suitcase at her side on the porch floor , where the taxi driver had apparently just deposited it . " Grandma O ' Hanlon ! " I shouted . " Hey , you guys , it 's Grandma O ' Hanlon ! She 's come to visit us ! Come in , Grandma ! " The taxi driver was driving away as she came in . The look on Ma 's face was one of dismay , consternation , and it looked like fear , as well . Was Ma afraid of Grandma ? out of his shirt collar , and rising from his seat . . " Now what ? " I wondered , as Grandma slowly advanced into the room , taking in the tableau , putting two and two together . Ellen , " she demanded . " I know who all of you are , but who is this man who was sitting in my Seamus 's place , eating where my boy should have been ? Is this how you honor his memory ? Him not even cold in the ground yet , and another man taking his place ? Oh , I forgot . You didn 't even have the decency to bury my boy , but had him cremated ! " yeah ? Kind to you , is he ? What kind of favors are you doing for him ? I always told my Seamus he was too good for you ; that you were no good ! Now , it seems I 've been proved right . " My brother and sisters ran to Ma 's side , in a protective manner . How could Grandma speak to our Ma that way ? The nerve of her ! I very much the man of the house . She rewarded me with a slap on my face . Reeling from the unexpected slap on my face , I put my hand up to it , and stepped back , feeling insulted . You 've never been so disrespectful to me before . It seems your mother has let your discipline go out the window with her morals , not that she ever had many before . At least my Seamus kept her in line ! Now , with him my children with his fists . Your son was not a good man when he was drinking ! Then he would apologize the next morning and say he was sorry , and please to forgive him . I loved him when I married him , and because of my children , I stayed with him . But don 't you tell me he had a right to beat me or them ! Now , if you can 't be civil , you can just turn right around and leave my house , right now . " I must assume you are Ellen 's _ former _ mother - in - law ? As such , you have no right to speak to her in such a manner ! I suggest you either keep a civil tongue in your head , or I 'm sure the authorities can be called to remove you . The choice is , I believe , yours . Ellen has always been a lady , and has never behaved in the way you accuse her ! " I couldn 't believe what I was hearing . I guess I had misjudged the man . Looking at Grandma , I wondered what she was going to do now ? Back down or leave ? It seemed I didn 't have to wonder for long . no ! I could only imagine what our life would be like for the next amount of time she was with us . I wondered how long that would be . . . it turned out that while we were in bed later that night , I heard loud voices coming from the kitchen , so I crawled out of my bed to investigate . Peeking around the kitchen door , I saw an unbelievable scene . My Ma was cornered with my Grandma in her face , with her hand balled into a fist , bullying my Ma . Taking in the situation , I ran to the phone , rang up the operator , and asked for the police . When they came on the line , I asked for Sgt . Finley . " Sorry , young man . He 's not on duty tonight . What 's yer problem ? " my grandma , who 's visiting us . She 's got my Ma cornered and about to beat her up . She 's a mean old woman . Please come and make her leave , won 't you ? " " No . No . This is Zebulon O ' Hanlon , at 1594 Oakwood Street , and it 's my Da 's mother who is working over my Ma . She 's already hit her a couple of times , it looks like . Please send someone , hurry . " gettin ' into arguments and throwin ' a few punches . They do that , kid . It 's just a part of life . Get used to it . We ain 't got the time to run out every time that happens . Seein ' it 's just a couple of women , pullin ' I looked into the kitchen once again and saw my Ma was on her knees in the floor , covering her head with her arms , pleading with my Grandma , to please stop . I shouted into the phone , " She 's killing my Ma ! You 've got to come . Sgt . Finley would have come ! Wait til I tell him about you all ! " must have been the magic words , because all at once I sensed a change of attitude , and he said , " Okay , kid . Five minutes . We 'll have someone there . Just hang on and do what you can to help your Ma . " could hit my Grandma on her head . She was close to six feet tall and I felt like a shrimp compared to her . How could I do it ? Did I even have the nerve ? quietly across the kitchen floor , I climbed upon a kitchen chair and lifting the kettle high over my head , I brought it down as hard as I could . My Grandma hit the floor like a big soft bag of flour , and I helped my Ma get up off the floor . Getting I replied , " just look at my Ma , here ! See all those bruises on her face ? See the cuts where my Grandma 's rings sliced her face open ? We need you to make her leave our house and not come back ! Arrest her or something ! She 's my Da 's mother , and he is dead , so she has no right to even be here ! " chair . He then proceeded to untie her hands , then turning to me , he inquired , " What were you thinking , boy , to hit a poor old woman with a pot , anyway ? And her your grandmother , to boot ? " you to the train station with your belongings and see you on to the train . You may not see your grandchildren until I have in my hands a written apology from you . Even then , any visits will be supervised . No more surprise visits . That is my final word ! " I have never been treated in such a cavalier fashion , and I certainly will not stay where I am so obviously not wanted ! Don 't look for me to come back anytime soon , either ! You are raising a bunch of brats , violent and uncontrolled . . . mark my words . . . they will make you sorry you ever bore them ! " She said that last bit with her eyes fastened on me , firing daggers in my direction . Then she went upstairs and picked up her still unpacked suitcase and came back down . The officer took her by the elbow and escorted her out of the front door . We all looked at one another ; I wondered what my Ma was going to say to me now . Walking my life , well , almost never . ' Now what ? ' I thought . She had my arms pinned to my side in that bear hug . Then she let me go . I could hardly wait to hear what she might have to say to me . me , my Ma looked into my eyes , as I waited anxiously to hear what she was going to say to me . Was she going to bless me or bless me out ? I couldn 't tell from the expression on her face . I gulped loudly , waiting . thank you for saving me from your Grandma 's fists . I don 't know what I would have done , had you not banged her on the head with a pot . But I do need to tell you that violence is not always the answer to violence . You don 't realize that yet , but hopefully , you will eventually learn . I noticed you have been reading the testament beside your bed . Now that your father is gone , I can begin taking you children to Sunday School and church . He was so violently opposed to it , it was near impossible before . I had just been wondering how to begin it . " could see more change coming into our lives in the days ahead , but I was still worried about Mr . Hopkins . . . did he go to church , too ? What kind of person was he , really ? Was he after my Ma ? I opened my mouth to ask her , but when I looked into her scratched and battered face , I reconsidered . Instead I asked another question . would we be going to church , Ma ? What kind of church would it be ? Some of my friends go to the big church downtown . Would we be going there ? " I had a lot more questions for my Ma , but I could see she was really tired and needed to sleep . Tomorrow was a work day and it was late . I wanted to know more about Mr . Hopkins . much , Les . We 'll talk about it tomorrow on the way to school , okay ? We need to get some sleep or we 'll never get up in the morning . I think I 've got a test tomorrow . Now , go back to sleep . " Tomorrow would probably have enough problems for us all to get through , anyway . The other kids didn 't even know yet about Grandma leaving . Was she really gone ? Alone . That 's how I 've spent most of my life , or so it seems . I live in a small southern town , that has remained small , I suppose , because the economy has apparently passed us by . I our noses and behinds , that she had no time for wrapping her arms around us , when our backs were sore from his belt . She would just caution us to stay out of his way when he was " in his cups " . Of sure there must have been meals that she skipped in order to provide enough food for us kids . I was somewhere in the middle of the number of children she bore to my old man . I was only one of the two boys she had that lived . They buried three children by the time I left . I was only eighteen when I left home to find work . I was determined never got the chance to show him or my Ma . I do remember one day that my Da and I had a really good time , though . It is a day that will live forever in my memory . and could hardly contain his joy . He was waving his hands all about , and came in laughing . My Da picked up my Ma in his arms and swung her about . We all thought he 'd gone daft . He year was 1956 and on Monday , he was taking me and my little brother to the game , to see the Yankees playing against the Brooklyn Dodgers in the fifth game of the World Series . We were all Yankees fans in our household . . . that was the one thing that we did as a family . We couldn 't afford a television , but we had the radio , and we never missed a game , even when my Da was a bit sloshed . I 'd never been to a game before and this was the chance of a lifetime for me and my little brother , as well as our Da . To get to go see the greats play baseball . . . Yogi Berra , Whitey Ford , Mickey Mantle . . . we just couldn 't believe it . The day dawned bright and clear . . . hot as could be for that time of year . We were so excited . . . little did we know we were going be present for history in the making . That day will live forever in my mind and that of all those dyed - in - the - wool Yankee fans like me . When crowd was enormous . I heard later that there were over 64 , 000 people there that day . I had never seen so many people all in one place . It was scary and exciting at the same time . Les and I held on to our Da 's hands . I remember looking up at him and wondering if I would ever be as big and strong as he was . found our seats with just a little difficulty ; they were up in the nosebleed section , but that was okay . We were at a World Series Game ! Wonder of wonders , our Da got us each a hot dog and a cold drink . We were in seventh heaven . A lady came out to sing " The National Anthem " and everybody stood up and put their hand over their heart . The referee shouted " Play Ball " and somebody important threw out the first ball . From then on , the crowd was intermittently on its feet and sitting down . I have never in my life seen or been a part of such excitement . the Dodger players make it to first base , inning by inning . We could see him wiping the sweat from his face , trying to keep it from running into his eyes . He kept pitching and they kept striking out ! In more innings and the game was over ! Don Larsen had pitched a perfect game . . . a no - hitter and a shut - out ! History was made that day . There has never before or since been a perfect game in World Series play . Yogi Berra was so excited that he jumped joyously into the arms of Don Larsen . I don 't think I 'll ever forget that wonderful day in my life . As we went home on the subway , we were full of the game , and all around us , people were talking about it . Our Da had bought Les and me each a Yankee 's baseball cap . I don 't know about Les , but I still have mine . I take it out once in a while and look gone . As Les and I began telling her about the game , our Da said , " Ellen , I wish you coulda ' been there . I just can 't wait to tell the fellas about it ! I 'll see you all later . " With a knowledge born of experience , we all looked at one another as my Da left the house . We knew not to expect him anytime soon , the policemen came , we were struggling to understand where my Da might be . He had never been out overnight before . This was something new . The thing was , a life our case , it happened to be someone was dead . My Da had gotten into an argument with one of the men in the bar he frequented and they both had knives . Of course , the argument was over the game we had seen that day . It so happened that my Da ended up missing , and that was why the police were at our home . . . they were looking for him . Witnesses at the bar had told them that my Da had killed the other man . No one knew for sure who had started the fight or the argument . It seems that more than one person was involved in the argument and the fight that ensued . Somehow , it was all being blamed on my Da being the killer . My innocence that was evident on our faces , mixed with the horror and obvious acceptance of the truth of their claim , dealt with us a little more kindly than they might have done at first . " Ma ' am , " one of them said gently to my Ma , " we have a warrant to search your home for your husband . Please move aside . " As Les and I , along with our sisters . stood It struck me to such a degree that it influenced my choices in later life . " How ? " you may ask , but I will wait a while before I divulge that particular answer . Anyway , as the policemen came in , they searched through our small living quarters , but found no clue as to where my Da might be . We were ordered to let them know if and when he returned ; then they left . As the oldest son , I felt it my duty to take charge of matters , and began bossing the others around , even though I had a sister older than I . She soon let me know that I was about to get too big for my britches and that she could outdo me any time . After all , I was only ten and still small for my age . My Ma displayed the greatest of patience and pride in our behavior . Although we were missing our Da , and were very worried about him and his safety , there was a certain amount of relief from his coming home drunk and abusive on Friday nights . We were only kids , after all , and had no idea of the stress our Ma was going through , with extra worry about where he was , and what we were going to do for food . She was expecting we would be thrown out of our home before long , too , with no money coming in . It Ma told me , " Son , this has got to stop ! I can 't afford to lose my job at the grocery store . I can 't be running to the school every day . Mr . Hopkins was kind enough to let me work there without my having any experience . " I knew he was just letting her work there because he had always given her the ' glad eye ' when we went there to get groceries . I knew she was right , but I also knew I was determined to be reliable and responsible for my family 's safety and well - being . I was not going to let bullies push my siblings around like so many push - pins . I thought about my situation long and deliberately . I course , my Da was still on the run somewhere , but I knew I needed some help with my problem at school . After all , the police were there to protect and to serve , weren 't they ? When my father so , but I had to find the man who had been so kind to my mother . The desk sergeant called out to a couple of policemen who had just come into the station . " Hey , in his old man . I 'll bet the guy beats his wife and kids . It 's usually that kind of fellow that gets into bar room fights with other customers . Have you heard anything from your father ? Has he come back to threaten ya ? " I looked into his blue eyes , and could see he was an honest man , just like I had thought . " No , could help me with a problem I 'm having at school . You see , the kids are always making fun of me and my brother and sisters . Things are getting ( to be continued ) unbearable for us , and we need only the kind of help policemen can give to us . Can you help , please ? " It seemed that my plea really touched his heart , and I could see him struggling to come up with an answer for me , trying not to let me down . Even as a kid , I had learned to read the expressions on others ' faces , mostly because of my Da and never knowing what to expect from him . The decide on a course of action , but have an alternative plan in case the first one falls through . Never back down ; stand your ground ; be honorable in whatever you do . Most of all , don 't let vengeance control your actions . Do you know what I mean ? " son . . . I know that because of all that has happened to you , you will want revenge more than anything else against the boys who have been bullying you . My partner and I are going to show you some moves that will help you take those boys out , but you mustn 't let wanting to get even with them control your actions . In other words , when you learn how to defeat them , you don 't want to become them . Once you have beaten them , and you will , don 't let anger take over and try to pulverize them . " time beating them should take care of them , because at heart , bullies are just big cowards . One time is all you will have to do it . If it doesn 't , come see me again , and we 'll take another tack . Okay ? " Nodding my head , I followed them into a large room that I found out later was their break room . They moved back some desks to clear a space , and proceeded to teach me some defense moves , plus a few attack moves . Then they practiced with me . It must have looked funny with a little guy like me , running around , learning boxing moves ; because that it what it was . Just before I left , Sgt . Finley told me something that helped shape my life , more than anything else , " A wise and wonderful Savior , by the name of Jesus Christ , said , ' Vengeance is Mine , I will repay , saith the Lord ' . Do you know what that means , young man ? " " Well , not exactly . I 've heard of Jesus Christ , though . Does he have a middle initial of H . ? My Da says his name all the time , when he is mad at us . I 've never met him , though . " He seemed to be struggling with what to say in return to my innocent remarks . In the end , he finally came out with , " Jesus is the name of God 's only Son , and the Savior of people 's souls . Here is a little book that will tell you about Him , if you will read it . He tells us that His Father , God , will take care of paying back those who mistreat us . " He gave me a small New Testament of the kind passed out by Gideons . As I was taking it , I heard the phone ringing on a desk , and an officer answered it , then shouted at Sgt . Finley . out on Twenty - eighth is throwing knives at her old man again . You guys need to go out and rescue him again . This time , bring the old woman in . Nah , maybe bring ' em both in for disturbing the peace . " opens the dictionary and puts his finger on a word , and whatever comes up , he uses it all day . Frankly , I 'm getting tired of it . A Xanthippe is an ill - tempered old woman , and I guess it does fit the lady that is fighting with her husband right now . Well , we have to roll , but you remember what I told you , okay ? " " Thanks , Sgt . I will , now I have to get home or my Ma will be yammering Epistle of St . John ' . That is a really good place to start . I 'll be praying for you . Come back and see me anytime . You may have some questions . " That day after school , the bullies were waiting , just like I knew they would . I looked at all of them and then , walking over to them , I zeroed in on the biggest of them . After talking with Sgt . Finley , I knew that the biggest would want to bully me by himself . The others would just stand around , jeering and watching . If I could take him out and get him down and beaten , the others would back off and leave me alone . We circled around each other , taking each others ' measure . He lunged , I feinted , dodging his punches , making him think I was afraid ( actually , I was sweating bullets ) and then ran under and gave him an uppercut to the jaw , tripping his feet at the same time . I had him on his back , and jumped on top of him , pounding away at his head . When punch me back , but I had so much pent - up anger , he didn 't stand a chance . All he could do was put his arms up to protect his face . As he did that , I was punching him in the ribs and in the neck ; anywhere that I could hit him , I was . They finally pulled me off ; I asked them then if there was anyone else that wanted to try it with me . Nah . . . they were all finished with bullying me . I was remembering the words that Sgt . Finley had warned me with : " Lad , don 't become them . " I walked away , and went home . When I got there my Ma was waiting for me to get home . The police had come to the store where she was working , and brought her back to the house . She looked at me with disappointment in her eyes , which were reddened from crying . " Oh , son ! You 've been fighting again ! What am I going to do with you ? You never listen ; you 're as bull - headed as your Da was ! " do you mean , ' was ' ? What happened ? " I looked at Sgt . Finley , who was one of the policemen there . It didn 't take a genius to see that it was bad news . My brother and sisters were standing around crying , too . " Son , I 'm sorry to have to tell you this , but your father . . . well . . . there 's no other way to say it . . . he was found beaten to death on one of the back streets down in the worst part of town . He 'd been dead for about three days or so . We don 't know yet who did it . " He put his arms around my shoulder as he was giving me the news . looked at me and replied , " Zebulon , how can you take care of me ? You can 't even take care of yourself ! Look at you ! Fighting again ! Go to your room , now ! " glance darted over to Sgt . Finley , and he nodded to me , as though he understood that I had been successful in my fight against the bullies . He looked encouragingly at me , and lifted his eyebrows as though asking the question . I simply nodded , with a half - smile to him , and left the room when he gave me a thumbs - up and a smile . what ? " I was asking myself . " What are we going to do ? What can we do ? I 'm not old enough to get a job . My oldest sister , Rose , is only fifteen . She 's beginning to look at boys and wearing lipstick . She and Ma are always getting into fights over that . My life stinks ! " I was really on a downward spiral . Just then , a knock came on my door . Sitting up on my bed , I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve , and quietly said , " Come in , Les . " " How do you always know when it 's me knockin ' ? How can you tell ? " " Oh , it 's just the easy way you knock and you always tap on the door three times . " " What happened at school this afternoon ? You get into another fight with them boys again ? " " Yeah , " I grinned , " but this time , I licked ' em ! " His eyes lit up , and he got real close to me , admiration shining in them , " Really ? ! ! " " You know Sgt . Finley out there in our living room . . . well , I went to the station yesterday to get some advice from him . . . he was so kind , to Ma last week , you know . . . I asked him for some help in beating those kids . The men at the station showed me some moves , and the Sgt . told me to pick out the biggest one and whip him . When I did that , they all decided that they didn 't want to pick on me anymore . " Right then , talking to my little brother , I felt ten feet tall . Then another knock sounded . " Come on in , Rosie ! " I knew it was her because she always knocked like she was trying to bust the door down . Oh , yeah , bossy to the nth degree , it even carried to her knocking on my door . Little sister , Marie , who was six years old , came in with Rose . Marie had her two fingers stuck in her want to know , young man , why you are all bruised up again ! You know it upsets our Ma when you come home like that . She can 't afford to lose her that ever escaped Da 's wrath . I don 't know if it was because she was the first girl they had that had lived past infancy , or what . I do know she was the spittin ' image of my grandma , Da 's mother . Maybe that was it , but he never got mad at our Rosie . " I know , Rosie , but this time , I beat the bully and he won 't be botherin ' me again , nor any of his buddies . We 're safe now ! " She looked at me , disbelieving my words . " Oh , yeah ? How did you do that ? I 've seen that Benny Brooks and he 's twice your size ! " " Well , Another knock on the door . Oh , no , it was beginning to look like Grand Central Station in my room . Of course , the only one left that it could be was my Ma . I said , " Come in , Ma " and expected that she was going to chew me out some more , so I got myself ready mentally for the harangue , but she surprised me by saying gently , " You children come out into the living room . We need to talk . " Sitting down in the living room without another word , we waited for her to speak . I noticed the policemen had left by then . I looked at my Ma and saw she was no longer sniffling , but her eyes were bright with what looked like unshed tears . There we were on the couch , waiting . Rosie sat on one side of me ; Les was sitting on the other side of me ; Marie was leaned up against me . Ma pulled up a chair so she could face us and look us directly in the eyes . " Children , " she said , " things are going to have to change around here . We know for sure now that your Da will not be coming home . Sgt . Finley told me that someone had beaten and killed him not long after he left the bar . They have several suspects but are not sure about any of them . We are going to have to work together to survive . " was going to do some detecting work and find the person or persons who had beaten and killed my Da ! Yeah , I realized that I was only ten years old , but I knew I could do it , if I planned it right . Oops ! I had zoned out my Ma . . . what was she saying while I had been daydreaming ? " Zebulon Seamus O ' Hanlon ! Are you listening to me ? What did I just tell you ? " Looking guiltily at my Ma , I replied , " You said we are going to have to work together , now that our Da is gone . " jobs like running errands for people . You are big enough to go places and carry messages . Your sister , Rose , is going to have to be responsible for taking care of your brother and sister . I will have to be working late many evenings . Mr . Hopkins , my boss , changed my schedule I 'll just bet he did , " I said to myself . I may have been young , but I knew I didn 't like the way her boss was always giving her the glad eye , with his eyes lingering in the wrong places . I sure didn 't trust him , and now that my Da was gone , she had no one to protect her , except for me . " Now , most of the time he spent with us , he was angry and beating one of us . . . but he was our Da , and we knew he was addicted to drink . It was the drink that made him so . Of course , he worked hard every day to provide for us , but fell short when he drank . You may think I make excuses for him , and I may be , but we loved him . Now , we had no idea what was going to happen to us . Ma . . . It 's like this . . . you see , I knew they wouldn 't leave me alone until I beat one of them . So I picked out the biggest one and beat the stuffin 's outta him . They won 't be botherin ' me any more . There won 't be I could see the pride in her eyes , mixed with a look of horror that I might be killed . " No , Ma . I won 't be hurt any more now and I 'll be careful . I promise . " was around mid - October , and I had begun hanging around in the area near the bar where my Da was killed , but since I was fairly small , I kind of melted into the crowds that drifted in and out of the bars . I rode my bicycle down to that area . Not living very far from the area , I was able to fit in as just another kid riding around . I tried never to get into anyone 's way . Because I was small , I could become like a fly on the wall , and listen to conversations taking place outside the bars . I knew that sooner or later , I would hear something that I could take to Sgt . Finley , and I realized he would believe what I told him . Little did I know that I was learning skills that would last a lifetime . The upcoming Presidential election was in full swing ; it was all that we heard on the radio and television . Television was still kind of in its infancy , so to speak , and Americans were getting tired of hearing the merits of Dwight Eisenhower and Adlai Stevenson , who were opponents in the race . However , I saw an opportunity to make a little money . I went down to one of the campaign centers , and they asked me if I would like to make some money passing out flyers . Although it didn 't seem like it at the time to me , the economy was doing quite well . Somehow , it didn 't quite reach our level on the scale of life . sir ! " I was soon on my way , riding my bicycle , threading it through narrow alleyways , and up and down streets . I hurried because I wanted to " Hey , kid ! " One of the barkeepers shouted at me . " You can 't come in here ! You 're not old enough ; now get out ! " I happened to hear one of them remark , " Hey , ain 't that O ' Hanlon 's brat ? He 's the spittin ' image a ' him . Come over here , kid . Ya wanta ' earn some " Well , " I spoke up , looking candidly at him , " I ain 't doin ' it for my health . " " Hah ! Got a smart mouth on ya , jist like yer old man , hey ? Well , I reckon you 're all right . " I just stood looking at him , waiting for his next comment . got a little job for ya , if ' n you 're interested , that is . I need a boy to do a daily errand for me , if you can be trusted . I 'll try ya out tomorrow , if ya are . " " Well , okay , what time do you want me and what do you want me to do ? How much does it pay ? Is it dangerous ? " jist full a ' questions , ain 't ya , boy ? Sometimes curiosity kills the cat , ya know . You 'll jist have ta trust me to do right by ya . I promise I it certainly sounded intriguing to me , and a little dangerous . After all , I had beat up a bully at school , I thought I could do just about anything . Little did I know what I was headed for . " Okay , kid . . first , what 's yer name ? I know yer O ' Hanlon 's kid , cause yer a dead ringer for him . " bristled at his choice of words , speaking of death . He was insensitive at best . " You can just call me O ' Hanlon , then , you don 't need my first name , " I replied with an attitude . right , O ' Hanlon , don 't get all bent outta shape over it . Now , here 's what I want ya to do . Every day , I 'm gonna give ya a paper sack with some stuff in it . All ya have ta do is take it over to Bill 's Barber Shop and give it to the fellow working at the last chair in the shop , the chair next to the back door . Got it ? Ya don 't look in the bag or take nothing out of it . Understand ? " reached over and grabbed me by the shoulder . " Listen , kid , here I am doin ' you a favor and you 're mouthin ' off at me ? You have no idea who you 're talkin ' to , and if yer smart , you 'll learn to keep yer trap shut and do like yer told ! Now do ya want the job or not ? " I winced as he sqeezed my shoulder relentlessly . I replied , " Yes , sir , thank you , sir . " miss you , Zeb ! You 're gone all the time since our Da died . We never do anything together any more . You were going to teach me how to make a flip and shoot it , remember ? " that little testament in a long time , and I hadn 't been there for my little brother . I didn 't know what was going on with my Ma . There was detecting I had to do at home . Since O ' Hanlon , ya got a job ta do now , and I can 't let ya off the hook ; I 'm dependin ' on ya . Ain 't ya makin ' good money ; ain 't I payin ' ya plenty fer jist runnin ' ta the barber shop ? Remember , a guy don 't welsh on his duties , if he wants ta be considered reliable . Whatever 's causin ' ya ta think ya can quit on me , ya 'd better think again . " By now , he had grabbed my shoulder in his meaty hand again , and I was squirming . I had to come up with a different solution , somehow . Later that evening , as I was bicycling along the streets with the paper bag in my basket , Sgt . Finley spotted me , and hailed me down . " Hey , Zeb ! What are you doing down in this part of town ? Does your Mom know where you are ? Aren 't you out awfully late ? " attack of nerves hit me square in the gut , as I looked at the paper bag , and then at Sgt . Finley . How much should I tell him ? Would he understand ? I wasn 't even sure what was in the paper bags I carried back and forth between the bar and the barber shop ; but I knew it must be something wrong in it . I So , looking up at Sgt . Finley , I said , " Only some little slips of paper with some numbers on them . " " Um - hmm , I see ! And where might you be taking them , Zeb , and from where ? " do you know what it is you are doing ? You 're breaking the law ! You 're on your first step into crime , and once you 're in , it 's mighty hard to get away from it . What could you be thinking , lad ? This is the numbers racket you 're involved in . It 's illegal . The next thing they 'll be having you do is drug running . Do you want to be adding to your mother 's felt the guilt and shame wash over me . My eyes began filling with tears , and the Sgt . put his arm around the same shoulder that Rafferty from the bar had been squeezing with his rough hand . By now , Sgt . Finley was squatting by me , looking into my eyes . " We 're going to do something about it , right now . Just follow my lead , okay ? " me by the shirt collar , he took the bike in his other hand , rolling it along , back to the bar . He was holding me up almost off my feet , almost carrying me along , and just fussing at me something terrible . It wasn 't hard for me to act like the injured party . I was acting up as though I was fighting him . know about your numbers racket , Rafferty ! You use kids to do the dirty work . It has got to stop ! One day , we 'll catch you red - handed ; in the meantime , do your own dirty dealing without involving innocent kids . Come on , boy , let 's get out of here ; it stinks to high heaven ! " We left the bar , and Sgt . Finley walked with me back to my house , and as we went , we talked . what he was going to say , but I was willing to listen . In my heart , I realized that he cared about my welfare ; if he had not , he would never have stopped me from getting deeper into trouble . I was really going to miss the money I had been making , though . So , I was rather mad about that . " Yes , sir , " I replied . " I 'm in big trouble , ain 't I ? " Zeb , you could be ; but this time , I 'm just seeing that you get home . I won 't be saying anything to your mother , however , because I 'm sure she has enough on her mind without your adding to her worries . I 'm going to leave you about a block from your house and trusting you to go on home . Understand ? " " Yes , sir . " I gulped in relief . " Now , well , you know the rest . I also thought I might find out some stuff about who killed my Da , cause he went in there a lot . " Sgt . Finley 's face mirrored his thoughts like a reflecting pool . stop thinking that way . Please , let us do our jobs ; don 't try to do them for us . We have picked up a few clues . We have men who are working undercover to break up the illegal things that are going on in our part of town . Sooner or later , we 're going to find the person or persons who killed your father . Do you understand ? Have you been reading the testament I gave you a few weeks ago ? " " Yes , but what is undercover ? What does that mean ? How does a policeman do that ? Is he under some kind of something ? " Sgt . Finley smiled at me . " It means he dresses like them and becomes one of them , so to speak , so that he is accepted as a friend overheard something yesterday that I thought might be important . Benny was telling someone in the bar that he 'd better not be ' Welshing on a bet like O ' Hanlon had , or else he knew what would be coming to him . ' What did he mean ? Do you think he was threatening the man ? I was going to be listening closer to see if I could hear anything else , but Benny saw me , and told me I needed to get home , that I was through for the day . What do you think ? " think you 'd best be getting on home right now , young man , and don 't be going back to that place , or I 'll have to run you in . That is , if I don 't find you in worse shape than you were when you were getting into fights at school first . Stay away from that part of town ! I will stop by I 'd probably be late coming home . We seemed to be eating better these days , since Ma had been working for the neighborhood grocer . It was getting later and later that she was getting home from work . What was going on , I asked myself . my own business . Then she did a funny thing ; she put her hand on my shoulder and kissed me on the top of my head . I looked up at her with a question on my lips , but she just smiled and went to her room . rest of the week passed without any unusual incidents , except my Ma kept getting home late , and we were left on our own more often . I stopped looking for afternoon jobs , although I didn 't stop thinking about it . I began reading from the little testament some each night , again . Sometimes , I would awaken in the mornings to find it on the end table , and the covers pulled up under my chin . Saturday crawled out of bed , and went over to the bed where my little brother , Lester , was sleeping . I was going to wake him , but decided against it . He and my little sister were both suffering more than I from our mother 's absences from home . I had been going to discuss it with him , but realized it would only worry him . I knew we needed her , just as much as Rosie and Marie did . What could we do , anyway ? Going into the bathroom , I used it , then washed my hands and rinsed the cottony feeling from my mouth , swallowing the last gulp of water . Something was supposed to happen today . . . What was it ? Oh , yeah . Sgt . Finley was supposed to come over . Little did I know what would take place on Sunday , though . Blogs are so much fun ! If you enjoy a blog entry , and would like to leave a comment , notice that at the bottom of each blog entry is are the words , " 0 comments " or " 2 comments " , reflecting how many comments people have made . Sometimes people comment on the entry , sometimes they even comment on each other 's comments ! Some polite rules for comments are no unkind words , say nice or humorous things or refrain from commenting , no profanity ( which I wouldn 't expect out of my friends , anyway ! ) , and don 't use other people 's last names , because some folks don 't like their names made public . 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