hoops in the schoolyard . I was an adult now , but I still loved to just shootaround or play pickup . Even if the kids were much younger than me , I didn 't care . I still liked a good game of ball from time to time . In some ways , I have never grown up . And . . . I don 't want to . I am very mature and responsible , but I like to still be kid - like . A teacher was standing just around the corner , having a smoke , so I asked him what was going on . He told me they were waiting for the bus driver but he had not showed up yet . I said that was too bad and went back to shooting hoops . said I wanted to help . I am always wanting to help . Even when I probably shouldn 't , or don 't know what is being asked of me , or if I am actually capable of helping , I want to try and help . The regular driver backed out at the last minute , so they asked me if I could help . I had driven large vehicles before , so why not a bus ? I said For whatever reason , even though I was needed and supposed to drive the bus there , I did not . I was just a passenger . I don 't know why it worked that way , or remember who drove the bus to that park , but someone else did . Phew ! Half the battle was done . I had gotten myself in too deep , but at least I had a shot of pulling this off . The kids ran off and played while I ate my lunch . My Uncle Stanley was there , and he asked me if I was still okay to drive the bus back to the school . He was now giving me an out . I could get out of this , and not have to face up to the fact that I was not qualified to drive that bus . But , I told him that I was okay to drive it . I was going to do this , even though I shouldn 't be doing this . As the kids loaded back onto the bus , I surveyed the controls from the driver seat . How hard could this be ? Yes , I had never driven a standard transmission before , but I had driven a forklift in the warehouse many times , and that was standard , so I should be able to pull this off . Of course , driving a forklift in the factory meant no other vehicles , or pedestrians or even having to stop fast . I was only fooling myself this time . I had no shot at pulling this off . We had to take the highway back to the school , and at top highway speed , I was in way over my head to stop properly if something happened . Hell , whatever ! I had the emergency brake and if I stripped the gears , so what ? I would just manage and bullshit my way through things , like I always did . That was always my way . Why stop now ? All the kids were on board , and Uncle Stanley was in the first seat , first row , to my right . " Lets go " , and as he said that , I put it in gear , and we were on our way . At least I could pull this part off . I knew how to engage a clutch and move from neutral to first gear . So far , I still looked like I knew what I was doing . We moved towards the road . Now , the first test , could I merge into traffic , safely , and appear to make it look like I knew what I was doing ? What if someone cuts right in front of me ? Will I be able to stop ? Am I foolishly risking young , innocent lives by doing this , just to be my stubborn self and prove that I can pull this off ? Why am I Again , whatever ! I said to myself . Worst thing that happens is I pull the emergency brake , or slam on the brakes , and ruin the transmission . No one will get hurt . I can make up a bullshit excuse to smooth it over . It 's just a dream anyway . So , I will wake up before anything bad really happens anyway . And it is just a dream , nothing is real in a dream , just the doubts that you have when you are awake . That you can 't deny or shut down , or dismiss when you are dreaming . As time went on , I still did well , but not as well as I should have . I have some theories on that , and all of them are somewhat valid , but mostly it boils down to one thing . But more on that later . After a while of winning way more than my share with very ordinary horses , I ran into several problems . Among them was that I didn 't have my own place to stable , or adequate money or time to do what I needed to do . There was also the fact that I am very honest and horse training in today 's day and age involves a bit of cheating to succeed . But mostly , the reality was , I sabotaged myself . I raced the horses above where they could be truly competitive and make the most money , and ultimately win races . Why would I do that ? Bottom line is , as I started to do well , others wanted me to train horses for them , and the expectations that brought on me was not something I was prepared to deal with . By not doing as well as I was capable of , I solved that problem . This was not the first time I had done this , but more about that later . When I was young , I was an active child . Not the kind running around the house always bouncing off the walls . That wasn 't me . I did do all sorts of physical activities , but mostly it was my mind that was always going . To some extent , that has never changed . Like most boys I had toy Cowboys and Indians . Like most boys , I played with them and my friends , and we chose sides and fought mock wars . But after the playmates went home , I didn 't stop . My playmates were good kids , fun kids , but they weren 't me . They could not create major story lines , name the characters , create elaborate war scenes and progressions like I could . So , after they went home , I did that for myself . I had a creative side at a very early age that has persisted to this day . In addition to being creative , I was also always really good at math . I liked to also figure stuff out , and keep track of things . Many times I remember as a child being told " One day you will be an accountant " and " you should be a statistician when you grow up " . I could have been both of those things , as I am more than capable and competent at both of those professions , to this day . But I didn 't want to do it for a living , and I made that clear to anyone who asked . I have always been creative and wanted to write and create stories , as I did with the Cowboys and Indians . I have always liked keeping track of things and figuring them out , but for a personal interest , not as a career . So ended any career path in those directions very early on . Being a young Jewish boy in the early 70s , it was commonplace to find the kids talent and foster that with an eye to becoming a professional . My major natural talent was Math . I am very good at math and I always have been . During elementary school I would write creative stories and they were very good . But I was never rewarded for that . They were dismissed as just something I could do . If I did well at math I got praise for that . I never wanted it , but I got it anyway . One day in grade 3 , they gave special tests to determine skills that certain children possess . As would naturally happen , I scored very high on math . I was in grade 3 but I had a better than grade 6 level already . A week or so later , my parents showed up at school and we met in the Principals office . I had no idea what this was about , but when I got there it was clear what was going on . Because of my elevated level of math ability , I was to be taken out of my grade 3 class , and away from all of my friends who I played sports and recess with , and moved to a special class for gifted kids . I said okay to this , because that is what my teachers and parents wanted , but I never wanted it . Being a smart kid , even at that age I was crafty enough to know how to get out of such a predicament on my own . When I got to the new class , I basically tanked any test I took until they decided that it was a mistake and moved me back . When I got back to my math class for Grade 3 I made sure to never score higher than average so I would not stand out again . That original test I had taken just looked like a fluke now and they left me alone . That is until grade 7 , when we had moved and I was now in a different town , different school and had all new teachers . I guess I wanted to show how smart I was in this new setting and environment , so I was the new kid with all the answers . The teachers took note . Again , it came time to take the assessment tests . This time though , I was ready for this and wasn 't stupid . I made sure I tanked the assessment test . How did I do this ? I basically skipped one line and then by doing that got every answer wrong on one whole page , thereby lowering my score to average at best , maybe even lower than average . Because they noticed what I had done ( I wasn 't as crafty as I first had thought ) they made me take the test again . This time , I answered on the right lines , but I deliberately got enough wrong to make sure I was just a bit above average , but not special . Problem solved , and they left me alone . One of my favorite teachers , and one I remember the most , was Mrs . Rubin , the math teacher . Unlike a lot of math teachers , she taught all grades , from grade 9 up to grade 12 . We came across each other multiple times over the 5 years I was in high school . I also had many connections with Mrs . Rubin . Firstly , while she was not a beauty queen , she was an attractive woman and I had a bit of a crush on her . Second , her daughter was best friends with my cousin . So I would come across Mrs . Rubin at some of the functions for my cousin and her brothers and sisters . Mrs . Rubin was not your average teacher . She was very sharp , and recognized how good I was at math . Since I had that crush on her , I was eager and motivated to please . When a question was asked , I always had the answer ready and put up my hand . At all times through all years , she knew who I was . She knew how smart I was . However , when it came time for the test , I would only score just above average . One day she made me stay after class and asked me what was going on . I said I didn 't know , but I did , and I knew she did . She ended up letting it go . We never really spoke about it again . So what had happened ? I had learned to stop trying halfway , so I would not be moved out of the element that I enjoyed , which was being with my friends . As my life has progressed and I reflect on that , it is clear to me that I have never stopped doing that . No matter where my natural talent takes me , I always tank on some level so I don 't fall into that trap . I can think of many examples of this . When I was young , I was also a very good baseball player . A pitcher . I could throw harder than anyone and I was better than most . I was scouted young and it was expected I could be drafted if I stayed on track . With that kind of ability came large expectations . Being on the stubborn side as well , I ignored the advice that I should not pitch too much and ruin my arm , which is exactly what I ended up doing . By doing this , in retrospect , I was ensuring that I didn 't have to get to the point where performance was expected of me . In University , I had the goal to be a professional basketball coach , and I was on track for that . When I graduated , I had opportunities to pursue that , but instead I took the easy route and began working for my uncle running his factory . When that blew up two years later , I blamed him for ruining my chance to be a coach , but the reality is that I sabotaged myself again and only have myself to blame in retrospect . The trap for me is fear of expectation . As soon as I show my natural talent , things become expected of me . Those things are not always want I want to do , so I hold back and deliberately don 't achieve my full potential . I find ways to sabotage my true level of achievement . As I move forward with my new found passion ( writing scripts ) , I have come to realize that I am doing it again . In reality , no matter what I do , I stop just short of doing it to the level I actually can , and in many cases do not finish the projects I can , so I don 't have to deal with the expectation that will come with that . I have never wanted it . I have no choice . It was given to me and no matter what I do , I cannot give it away . It exists inside me . I exude it . I am riddled with it . I have tried to run from it , but it always runs faster than me and catches up . I know now , I can never run faster than it . I have given up trying to do that . Whatever I do , even subconsciously , you sense it . You see it , even when I do not . I have no clue what you see , but it is evident that you see it . You are attracted to it . . . like a moth to the light . I have it and I know that , but I cannot see what you see . When I look in the mirror I see nothing . I feel it inside , but I don 't see it on the outside . But you do . It has consumed my vision to the point that I am blinded by it . Would I want to give away the power that has been given to me ? I don 't know . So far , I have not had that option presented . I know I don 't like having it , and do certain conscious things to block the access to the power by others . But that is only temporary . I certainly cannot block it on a continuing basis . And like any other thing that is attractive to others but abhorred by the carrier , over time it surfaces . Again and again and again . I know I never wanted it , or wished for it , or asked for it . I don 't remember a time when I didn 't have it , so it came long before I could have built a shield to resist it . Now , it seems embedded inside of me . It made its way in easily enough , but it has no will or way to escape . It appears it is here to stay . I don 't want it , but I am fully aware of how to use it . I can make you do things , want things , give me things , just from the power inside me . I hate myself for that , but I carry on using it . In many ways , I am evil for doing that . But I can 't stop . I think having that power , being granted that power means I must use it . It is beyond my will to not use it . I suppose if I didn 't , it would destroy me . So maybe it is self preservation and selfishness that makes me do with it what I will . Maybe . Maybe not . I don 't know . If I ever lose it , then maybe I can make a better assessment on a Monday Morning Quarterback basis . In the middle of it all , knee deep , I have no way of doing that . It is so consuming to have it , there really is no chance for meaningful reflection . Just as it is easy to say that the quarterback should have done X or Y , that quarterback only had split seconds to make that decision . It 's a lot easier to figure it out after the fact . No pressure , no time constraint . You love it . I hate it . I have it . You want it . Kind of seems like it is misplaced . Like most things in life it has not found a rightful owner . Like most things in life , it never will . You always knew when my dad pulled into the driveway . We had a large garage , with an automatic remote opener . You could hear the garage make its way up the track . It was very loud . My bedroom was just above the garage and Mickey and Velvet would come running into my room barking up a storm . Those dogs loved my dad . This night though my dad wouldn 't be home for dinner . He had a busy restaurant and had been working late hours . Once baseball season started he would make time , but for now he was burning the candle at both ends . My sister and I rushed to the kitchen where the phone was . My mother slumped on the floor , the phone hanging down . She was trying to speak , but she was crying so hard you couldn 't understand anything . She was in complete hyperventilate mode . A few minutes passed and all she could say was : " He 's dead . He 's gone . I can 't believe he 's gone " It was the spring of 1975 , and I was only 10 . I had never known anyone who died to that point . My grandfather was the first one . And of course , it was a shock . Just like that , my grandfather went out from the variety store that he owned and operated with my grandmother to go get something from his car . He never returned . When my grandmother went out to find him , she found him dead on the backseat . Some kind of stroke or heart attack . To this day I still don 't know . And don 't care . All down the streets and towns and countries of the world , people sat and ate their dinner or played with barbies and hockey cards . Their world 's hadn 't changed that day . Another day their phones would ring . Then their world would change . I am a slave to you . From the moment I awake until the moment I sleep , you are always on my mind . Even more than that , in my dreams , you are there . Tempting me , arousing me , taunting me , distracting me . There is no escape . You are everywhere I go . You have completely infected my thoughts . There is a piece of you in everything . Even when it is not overt , you are there , to remind me that you are the boss of me . The boss of my thoughts . Maybe it was my destiny to be your servant . Only time will tell . Now lets see if you can hold my attention when the next demon comes along to distract and slay me . Others have been successful in the past , taking me away from the owner who claimed me as theirs . You are powerful . Yes . Very powerful . You are the life force and the passion that can consume even the strongest of men . It was a nice sunny day and I had chores to do . One of them was mowing the lawn . I had weeded the grass on the weekend , so now it was time to cut it and make it look polished . I have mowed the grass hundreds of times in my life . It is the same every time . Back and forth . Nothing special . One end , then turn around , and back the other way , until it is done . I love the look of a freshly cut lawn . It is just pleasing to the eye . It is one of the reasons I love golfing in the spring . The birds were lurking all around . Chirping and flying all over , it was a feast for them . We just had the first hard rain in months and the worms were rising to the surface . As I mowed the grass that day , I noticed the dew on the tops of my running shoes . Because it was August and the heart of a very hot , dry summer , the ground had sucked it all up and the grass was mostly dry . But , the worms were rising to the surface . They always did on days like this . Of course , I am not stupid . I know as I mow that I am killing all sorts of things . Little bugs , ants and , of course , worms . What I didn 't get , the birds would . It is a jungle out there , survival of the fittest , and all that . I am sure that I step on thousands of worms as I mow my lawn . And , I have killed many thousands of ants , worms , flies and mosquito 's in my lifetime . But this one time , I stopped to adjust the cord on the mower . As I did that , I saw a tiny worm , squirming as it rose to the surface , the dirt that lay cover to it now unfurled . A tiny worm , who 's brief and totally insignificant life now hung in the balance . Of course , this worm probably had no clue that it 's life was now hanging in the balance . It isn 't human and doesn 't have the thought processes that we do . Or does it ? Maybe worms , and other small creatures , like bugs and ants , are capable of higher thought processes . Do they understand fear ? Can they compute impending danger ? And then he spoke to me . The power of the voice of the worm spoke to me . He became a feeling , living thing . He just wanted to squirm , to toil in his soil . To exist . To have the life , albeit brief , that he was born to have . He asked me to spare him , to think of him , to be sympathetic to his feelings . He had a family to consider . I should think of that . I never had before , but now I was . I had all the power . He had none . I was a man , a big man . Big enough to just step on him , and end his life . So much power . Men have so much power . When I say men , I mean humans . Men and women . We can so easily hurt , and kill with the power we have . And that power isn 't just brute force . We have the power to love , and the power to hurt with love . We have the power to enrich hearts and to break them . We can destroy with war , or we can try to resolve with peace . We have the power to figure out a better way . Those are great powers , but most of us never think of the power we have within us . The power to stop . Yes , I could easily step on this worm . What is one more worm ? " war , what is it good for , absolutely nothing . " The greatest power I had was not to kill , but the power to stop myself from killing . I had rarely used that power , the power of a thought process that aims to do good , to create life , to preserve life , rather that to destroy it , crush it , take it . So , I exercised my ultimate power , my greatest power . The power I had that day was not to kill a worm , but to save a worm . Just one worm , but one worm who would likely produce thousands of worms , and thousands of worms who would go on to produce millions of worms . My power was now creation , not destruction . " think about it , there must be higher love . " I let him live , and in some way , I am sure I will reap the benefits that karma will bring me for that . Maybe he will do what worms do . Whatever that is . Whatever their purpose is , I am sure that I will get the benefit of letting him get that destiny . My parents never had the best relationship and at some point it had to end . That came in 1986 . At that time , money was a bit tight . By then , my sister had gotten married and moved out , and we had three empty rooms in the house . My mother decided to generate some income by taking in some summer students from York University . Since we had three empty rooms , we took in 3 borders . They were all very different . One young guy was Italian , and spoke almost no English . He was nice enough and a good house guest , but I don 't remember much about him . A second guy , Dan , was about 22 or 23 and was an American . I can 't remember why he was here to study , but he was and it wasn 't to learn English . He might have been the one teaching English at the University , but I am not sure either way . He was an interesting young guy , although he did keep to himself and to his room most of the time . At this point in our lives , even though my parents had split up , my father was still in a lot of trouble and we had to deal with a lot of that . It was my mothers opinion that maybe Dan was a plant , a spy for the government to try and get some dirt on my father by listening to our conversations and reporting back . I don 't know if that was ever true . I doubt it was , but he did learn a lot about our family . He even mentioned later on before he left that he realized we thought he could be a spy . Later in the fall , when something happened with my father ( which I will go into in another story ) , we had to run to Chicago the next day , and Dan came along . A bit after that , for whatever reason , and one I can 't remember , he moved out and on with his life . We never heard from him again . The third border was a French woman from Quebec named Jocelyn . She spoke broken English . She was clearly French and she was in the news business but wanted to learn English so she could advance her career . That is why she was taking the English classes at the University . My memory is that she was somewhere around 27 or 28 . I was 21 at the time . Although she spoke very poor English , she was very friendly and chatty . I got to know Jocelyn a bit , as I was always good at relating to women , especially older women . Jocelyn confided in me that while she had a boyfriend back home in Quebec it was not going well and she was not satisfied . Part of the reason she came here was to get away from it all and take a break from him . I heard many conversations over the phone when they would fight , and she would be in tears . We did have some attraction , but nothing was happening for the first month to six weeks she stayed with us . I got the sense that because I was much younger than her , she was holding back . She did drop me hints that she was interested , and many times came out of the shower in a towel that revealed quite a bit for me to see . My room was just outside that shower and she knew I would see her if she did that . I remember it being a very hot summer . Boiling hot in fact . Jocelyn liked to sit out in the sun every day . I spent a lot of time outside practicing my golf swing and just generally getting some sun myself . That summer I worked for my uncle at his factory , so I could take days off if I wished . And I did wish that . I liked to enjoy my summer and had made more than enough money by mid July for next years tuition and books . Jocelyn liked to sunbathe topless . She did lie on her stomach , but at times , she would turn over and I could see her breasts and she was very well built . Of course , being a young guy raging with hormones , I noticed that . I didn 't know if she knew I could see her , but I assumed she could . There was a room that faced out to the backyard where she lied on a towel on the grass , and I could watch her from there . I did that a few times . It was a hot and sunny summer with very few rainy days , so this was a daily occurrence for Jocelyn . She got braver and braver as the summer went on and at one point would just lie on her back for quite some time topless . She had to know I could see her , but she didn 't seem to care . At all times she did this , Dan and the Italian guy were at school , so she knew I was only one home . I decided to take a day off and go golfing , but that day turned into a very rainy day . I could not golf , nor could Jocelyn sunbathe that day . I went down to the kitchen to make lunch and she was in the den , across from the kitchen , reading . She always liked to read , even when she was laying out in the sun , she was always reading a book . I said hi and asked her what she was reading as I waited for my plate of french fries to cook . She showed me . It was an erotic story about two lovers who met by accident . While she chatted and looked at me , I noticed she didn 't have a bra on , or any underwear . She clearly noticed that I noticed that . There was some sexual tension , but I was not going to make any move , especially on a house guest who was 6 or 7 years older than me . I ate my fries and offered her some . She took a few and then I took the rest up to my room . A few minutes later , while I was listening to the radio , I heard a knock on my door . I told her to come in , and she did . She asked if she could have more fries , sat next to me and took them off my plate . I could feel her naked leg rub up against mine . We both felt that . I nodded that I did . She leaned into me and we kissed as she moved my hands under her top and onto her breasts . I had been with a few girls , but never a real woman like Jocelyn . Of course I had fantasized about her many times , but now it was happening . I was extremely hard and she reached over and felt that . I was a jock , so I didn 't date much . I loved girls , I always have , but sports was always more important to me . The few I did date and have sex with were very inexperienced like me , so it was basic and clumsy sex . I simply did not know any better at the time . Again , I nodded yes . I had been with girls , as I said , but none really knew what to do . I had never had a blowjob , but obviously she knew what to do , and I was going to let her lead . I was at her mercy . She took off my shorts and began to suck me , at the same time lifting off her long t shirt to reveal her naked body to me . I had never seen a woman like that up close . On my mind was that I had no condoms , so I knew where this was heading and I had to decide whether to fuck her and take that risk or stop when the time came . Luckily for me , she made that decision for me . She sucked me until I came and had me suck on her boobs for a short bit , then abruptly got up and left the room . She said nothing as she did that , but she smiled at me . I was pretty much in a stake of shock over the whole thing , but I went with the flow . Two days passed and we smiled at each other but said nothing about the incident in my room . She had about 6 days left to go before she was heading back home . I still did not know what to do . But being the experienced one , she did . I was sleeping and it was very late , about 2am . The tv was still on . I always slept with the tv on . I always have . As I rolled over I felt a hand on my back . Jocelyn was standing in front of me , completely naked , with her hands on her breasts . She removed the covers from me and moved my hands onto her breasts . She motioned for me to kiss them , which I did . She was in complete control and I was to do whatever she wanted , and she knew that . She didn 't have to ask me twice , that is for sure . I had been dreaming of this moment all summer . We began to kiss as she was now on top of me , she leaned back and motioned for me to start licking her . I had never done that before , but I was willing . She was going to teach me how to be a good lover , and she did exactly that . As I began to lick her , she guided me and instructed me on how to do that . She was neither shy or in any mood to let me off the hook for being an inexperienced , clumsy lover . As I went along , I learned what she liked and just did that . It was a lesson I learned that day that has served me well over time . After a while , she just pushed me back and told me it was time to fuck her . And I did . We spent most of the night doing that , and I guess she was surprised how long I could last . At 6am we were still going , the sun was about to rise and others were sure to be up soon . She got dressed and left to go back to her room . Outside , Dan was there and he saw her come out of my room . He never said anything about it , but he looked at me differently from that day forward . That was our only night together . She made that clear . We weren 't going to do that again , and she was going home and we would never have any contact again . And we didn 't . I always wondered what happened to her , and I tried to look her up , but have never seen anything in the media to suggest her career went anywhere . I guess she didn 't learn enough English that summer to make a difference . I however , learned plenty about the language of love . Back in University my mother had coaxed me into getting a winter job to earn some extra money while I was in school . Money wasn 't tight , but my father had been gone for about two years and the flow was running a bit dry . I was always a hard worker and didn 't mind giving up my Sunday 's to make 40 bucks . Yes , 40 bucks . It wasn 't much , but it was spending money for the week . This meant getting up at 7am and going on Sundays to the Stouffville flea market . Many times it was cold , very cold , although the market was inside , so the day was warm enough once we unloaded the goods to the booth . Harem Pants My mother had a friend , Patricia , whom she played Monday night Mahjong games with . Patricia 's husband , Alex , was known to be one of the big shots in the flea market world . He did all the flea markets and had his own brand of sweat pants ( harem pants ) , which were very trendy with women . He also sold his assortment of boots , shoes , shirts , pants and all sorts of other things that were slightly seconds . They were good quality , but they usually had some slight defect . Such was the nature of the flea market . So , off I went one Sunday to the Stouffville flea market . I was to go the first week with Alex and work with his helper , David , who was a bit younger than me . David was about 17 , while I was 23 . David lived in Stouffville , just a bit down the street , so he was reliable in that he always showed up , but not responsible enough that he could be left alone to run the show . Being that he lived in Stouffville , he also was not going to drive the truck to and from Toronto . Alex needed someone who could do that , and do that cheap , and would be reliable . I was that guy . The first week I basically observed and helped . I had some customer service experience . I had worked at the A & P , Baskin Robbins , Petro - Can gas station and various other menial kids jobs to that point . But I had never worked a job selling anything . I was more service than selling to that point . And this was certainly a different kind of selling than you did at The Bay or Eatons . I learned quickly that whatever price you quoted to the customer , they wanted a deal . It came with the territory . It was the flea market mentality . You learned that right away , and I was a very fast learner . Unloading took forever , but loading back up took almost no time at all . We usually sold more than half the stuff we brought , so loading up meant just packing up the tables and a few leftover goods , mostly different boot sizes that didn 't sell that week . The stuff sold itself and most of the day was quiet . It wasn 't a lot of money , but it was easy money . I worked the whole winter until school was finished in May . By that time , there was also a Saturday market as well in Stouffville and I was doing those as well . Saturday was an outdoor market , as was Sunday when the weather got better . That is where the real money was . The crowds were much bigger and so was the profit . There were days in the spring when we would take in more than $ 10000 , whereas a good day in the winter was 800 bucks . However , the pay stayed the same . As June approached , Alex asked me if I wanted to work full time , 7 days a week , doing all the different flea markets that opened up when the weather got better . I said I would , but the money had to improve . A summer job was the way I could afford to pay for school , and 40 dollars a day was not going to cut it . We settled on 80 a day , plus paid meals , and that was really good steady money . I made enough that whole summer to pay for all my tuition , books and meals for the whole year . It was long , hard days , but it was fun and the money was good . And , of course , you met a lot of interesting people , and . . . a lot of girls . A lot of horny girls . We did many flea markets in those days . Saturday and Sunday were still Stouffville , Wednesday was Snellgrove , which was a busy but small market , more like a carnival than actual market , Thursday was Elmale , which was very near Wasaga Beach , which was very busy and also great for meeting girls and having a fun time after the market closed , Friday was variable and we did some others . Monday I don 't remember , but Tuesday , well , Tuesday is the one that I will always remember . Aylmer , Ontario Tuesday was the day we did Aylmer . Aylmer was one of the biggest markets , and also one of the farthest . It was two hours drive each way , and we had to get there very early , and stay very late . It was also secluded . Even though this was 1988 , the town still seemed stuck in the 1920 's . It was farming country and on top of that it was Mennonite country . The flea market really was the shopping mall for the area , and from the morning until night we were very , very busy . It was so busy and profitable that we were allowed to hire local kids to load and unload the truck for us . We just did setup . We had 3 booths at this market , to cover the whole market , and we were always busy . Because it was such a big market , all the regular vendors we saw and knew at the other markets did this one , so we were very welcome there and felt right at home . At the end of the night , all the vendors would go out for dinner and the owners didn 't mind buying , everyone made money . Lots of money . Many nights we ate at Swiss Chalet . Things went along smooth for about 6 or 7 weeks . Pretty routine . We would arrive early , sell all the goods , go get dinner and then share the driving home . By this time I was working with Chris . Chris was an interesting guy . Good guy . Stand up guy . He was smart , but didn 't have any education . He was Alex 's right hand man . He was my age , maybe two or three years older and we got along well . The flea markets were Chris 's life . He knew every aspect of it and he did it well . Chris was also a very big guy , both in terms of height and weight . Nobody messed with Chris . We never had to worry about anybody getting out of line when we were on the road or at flea markets we didn 't know well . Chris had a reputation . You didn 't want to mess with him . In a bar fight , he was going to win that bar fight . He never had to prove that as long as I knew him , but you knew he earned that reputation well . I did almost all the markets with Chris , unless we had a day where there were two markets in different areas . Then we would split up . Chris also liked to golf , so on our rare days off , or before we had to go to a night market , we would go golfing together . We became great friends . Because Stouffville was such a busy market in the spring and summer , we needed extra help . Alex 's son Danny helped at times , but he was a spoiled brat who didn 't want to work , and didn 't when he could get away with it . Danny had a friend , Little Mikey , who also came . He did work hard and when it came time to do Aylmer , we would bring him with . Mikey was different . He wanted to be cool , but he wasn 't . That would come back to haunt us by the end of the summer . The only thing that made Aylmer appealing to me as the weeks went on was a pretty little blond girl who kept making eyes at me . She worked the french fry stand , and we talked every now and then . It was no secret she wanted to go out with me , but she was a local and I was only there once a week . When the summer was gone I would not be there at all . She was also 17 and I was 23 , so I thought the better of it , even though I was interested in her . Each week I enjoyed seeing her and getting that attention . After a while , she ( Cathy ) just faded away , because I was not responding to her advances . Towards the end of the summer we had 3 more weeks of Aylmer to go before school started again for me . Chris would continue to do Aylmer , although it was a much smaller market once school started up again . As I said , Aylmer was a Tuesday market , and this one particular week we didn 't have a Monday market to do . Being that it was the last major week of the summer , we knew it would be very busy this time . We decided to play golf early Monday morning and then head up to Aylmer and get a hotel the night before . Alex said he would pay for it . It was also little Mikey 's 16th birthday , so Chris and I had planned on getting him drunk in the hotel . It was my task to go out and buy a 60 of Vodka , which I did . To this point I had also never drank any alcohol , as I was never a drinker . Chris was a major drinker , and he could drink 10 beers and they would not phase him . I saw him do that many times . Little Mikey was all excited that he was going to get to drink for the first time , and we had him convinced that some of Cathy 's friends were going to be at the hotel , and he would be " getting some " . That was a lie , and was never going to happen , and didn 't . We made our way to Aylmer and arrived around 5pm . We had snacks , but no real food to mention . Chris ordered a pizza . I didn 't , and have never liked pizza , so I just ate chips all night . That would come back to haunt me later . Once we settled in the drinking began . Little Mikey was all gung ho to start drinking , but after one drink , he went off to the bathroom and then passed out . So much for that . That left Chris and I . Of course , the rest of that night is very foggy . We did have orange juice , but that ran out quickly . Since it was just Chris and me , we drank the whole 60 by ourselves . Most of that , straight . No water . No orange juice . Straight . And it only took about an hour . We were as intoxicated as you can be . In reality , I was lucky I didn 't die that night . I could have poisoned myself to death . I was also eating a lot of potato chips that night . Chris ate the whole pizza I don 't even remember passing out . I do remember that we did finish the whole 60 and that Little Mikey slept in the bathtub . We were supposed to get up at 5am and be to the market by 6am . That didn 't happen . I woke up at 6 : 30 , but Chris and Little Mikey were still wiped out . As I looked around the room , it was a total disaster , like something out of a crazy bachelor or house party . Boxes everywhere . Chips everywhere . Glasses everywhere . And we had puked , everywhere . There was no time to clean it up , and we would have to do that later . I woke Chris and Little Mikey and we headed out to the truck within 10 minutes . We needed to get to the market , which was only 10 minutes away , and get set up before Alex arrived . But , we were still totally drunk . Except for Little Mikey , who had not drank anything . The problem was , he didn 't have a drivers license . He told us he knew how to drive , and I had seen him do that around the parking lot at the markets , so , being that we were still so drunk , we let him . As we got down the road , it was clear he didn 't know how to drive . It was dangerous . Both Chris and I could drive , but if we got pulled over we would have been in major trouble . Even though it was 8 or 9 hours since we had drank anything , we were both clearly still over the limit . And both of us were not really in good condition to drive . We felt sick , and it was going to be a long day working the market on the busiest day of the year , with a gigantic hangover . As we got about halfway , Mikey stopped the truck and got out . Chris took the wheel and started driving . Mikey got back in and sat in the middle seat . I started to feel sick . I had never drank any alcohol , not to mention half a 60 of Vodka in one hour . I had to throw up , but I knew I could not do that in the truck . As Chris drove , I opened the truck door and threw up onto the road . Worst 10 minutes of my life . We arrived at the market . Alex was not there yet , so we found some kids and got them to unload the truck . We were not really that sick at that point , but we were certainly hungover . It felt like someone was taking a jack hammer and banging it on my head . Chris was used to this and he carried us the rest of the day . We made it okay until lunchtime and then Alex arrived . He could see we were plastered , and he just shook his head . I guess he had been there himself , so he knew and just let it go . Little did he know the mess we left in the hotel room . I went to get some lunch , and I saw Cathy at the fry stand . She just looked at me and laughed . She could see it . Hell , everyone could see it . Finally , the day was over and we went back to the hotel room to get our stuff and head home . If only it was that easy . The hotel manager was waiting there for us and made it very clear he was going to call the police if we didn 't sort that out . The bill for cleaning up the room was 500 bucks , and we better pay . We put it on Alex 's Visa , and we would have to explain that to him later . We made our way home and hit the sack . A very long 24 hours . Two weeks later , while cleaning up my room , my mother found the empty 60 of Vodka in my closet and was distraught . She thought I had become an alcoholic . I explained the whole story , and told her that she needn 't worry . That was the last time I was going to drink anything . And other than the odd very light drink , I have never really drank alcohol since . After that summer , I never saw Little Mikey again , and barely saw Chris . The next summer I worked for my Uncle in his factory and didn 't go back to the flea markets in the fall . I have never been back to Aylmer , but I will never forget that night . Ever . Posted by