I miss Anna so very much . My memories of her are few , but they have stayed with me . Just as the guilt of what happened to her has haunted me all these years . Anna was my world ; she was a world as big as any seven - year - old who was in desperate need of a friend could have . I was a very shy boy when I started Kindergarten . On my first day during a small recess period , I looked around my classroom as all the other kids talked and laughed with each other . I sat alone , not having the courage to speak to anyone . My world was very small then . It seemed to me that everyone in my class had someone they knew from either preschool , or someone they had in class who lived near them that they had already gotten acquainted with . My parents elected to keep me out of preschool . They didn 't think that it was necessary . It also didn 't help that my home was a couple miles into the country , and I had no neighbors close enough to associate with at that age . I remember so vividly , a feeling that I had watching every kid in my class smiling and so happy to be there . That feeling , was loneliness . I put my head down on my desk and waited for Mrs . Grandon to tell us to quiet down . I just knew I was going to hate school from then on , I wished I wasn 't in that stupid room with all of those smiling children . Then came the feeling of a soft hand touching one of my arms , and the soft , sweet voice of a girl . I looked up quickly , slightly startled at the sudden disturbance . I was met by the sight of a pretty brunette girl with her hair done up in curls . I blushed a bit , embarrassed that she felt so sorry for me that she felt she had to come ask if I was okay . " Oh , okay , wanna ' play Tic tac toe ? No one else will play with me . " She returned my smile with teeth that shown pure white , and I fell in love . Well , the kind of emotion that a boy that age could call love . I nodded excitedly , and she pulled up a chair next to me and I pulled out a pen and paper from my desk . We spent a long time passing the pen back and forth , playing our games of Tic tac toe . Anna was always X 's , and I was always O 's . We played while she asked me things like what my name was or my favorite color . I told her of course , that my name was Bobby . I also told her my favorite color was green . My favorite color was actually blue , but when I saw her emerald eyes green became my new favorite . From that day on , every time we had a break period in class , Anna and I would sit and talk at my desk while we played Tic tac toe . After lunch , during our outside recess period , we would play pretend on the modular play - set on the school grounds . We pretended we were knights defending a castle or that the rocks below the modular were instead a lake of molten lava that we could not touch . Both of my parents were over - joyed that I had made friend . They were glad to see that going to school was something that I looked forward to , and I was beside myself with glee . That happiness never waned either . Anna and I never fought no matter how much time we spent together . In fact , our friendship only grew stronger day by day , and my feelings for her grew as well . By the time the month of October rolled around , Anna had been over to my house many times for play dates . We spent hours out in the field behind my house playing tag or hide - and - seek . I usually let Anna catch me , or hide in a spot that was obvious . I never wanted her to get bored of spending time with me . I never wanted to lose our little world of ignorant bliss . I was truly and irrevocably happy . But time passes and with it , go all things . Our little world of imaginary dreams crumbled all too fast . Anna and I were both seven years old when my world collapsed . We were playing on the modular at school during recess once again . We must have been playing one of our silly games of being in a castle , the events of that day are so blurry in my mind I find it hard to recall many details . I know that for some reason Anna was guarding my entrance to the main slide at the very top of the modular . That slide was the best one we had available on our little playground , and it went the whole fifteen feet down to the gravel below . Our little game was interrupted however by a boy whose name I will never forget . Mitchell Donahue . Mitchell was the class bully in my grade , and he was as intimidating a bully as any seven - year - old can be . He came lumbering up the tall steps with his broad shoulders swinging in tandem with his footsteps . Mitchell pushed me aside and demanded that Anna move . Anna crossed her arms and stood defiant in Mitchell 's way . " No way . " Mitchell yelled , and shoved Anna aside sending her falling on her behind . A fire lit in me then , and I stormed over to Mitchell , shoving him hard against the metal railing that acted as a barrier from children toppling over the tall modular . Quick to recover , and very angry Mitchell ran at me , tackling me hard as we went sprawling to the ground . Anna was trying to lift herself up from her sitting position , and as she was standing , Mitchell tried to stand as quickly as he could as well . But he moved too fast , and he lost his balance . I know he didn 't mean it , but it doesn 't stop me from hating him to this day . When Mitchell lost his balance , he stumbled into Anna . Mitchell 's fall was hard , and it sent tumbling back over the railing . I watched in horror , helpless to stop what was happening . The fall was only fifteen feet , to any adult it could have been survivable . But to a seven - year - old child 's neck , the gravel was unforgiving . When Anna 's head made contact with the ground , the loud * SNAP * that came with it resonated throughout the playground . The sound of children excitedly playing was silenced as everyone around turned and quietly looked at Anna 's little lifeless body . There was no blood , but when I remember that day , the color that comes to mind is red . The dress she or her mother picked out for her that day , was a crimson color that laid in contrast to the grey stone of the gravel . I stared down from the top of the modular on my hands and knees as tears began to form in my eyes . Then I heard Mitchell behind me . He was sitting with his hands wrapped around his knees . He just kept whimpering and saying , " I didn 't mean to , I didn 't mean to . " Over and over again . For some reason his stupid blubbering made my blood run hot . " Shut up ! " I yelled at him . But he just kept right on repeating those same words over and over again . I saw red , and I crawled over to him and grabbed his shirt . He stopped then , looking into me with truly sorrowful eyes . This stupid little scarred bully was the reason I lost my world . I didn 't want him to be sorry , I just wanted to hurt him . I drew back my fist and pounded him square in his nose . He cried out , and I heard something snap in his nasal cavity , but I didn 't care . He killed Anna , he was the reason I lost my only real friend . I drew my fist back once more , but before I could bring my fist back down on his blubbering face my arm was caught by a recess monitor . The recess monitors on duty that day saw what happened , and as soon as Anna fell they called an ambulance . Anna was pronounced dead on arrival . I of course , was heartbroken . My parents let me stay home from school for the remainder of that week . I didn 't get in trouble for what I did to Mitchell . I guess everyone figured I 'd had enough grief , or they thought he deserved what happened . I mostly spent all of my time that week in bed and I hardly ever came out of my room . When , I did come out of my room , it was because my mom forced me to try to eat dinner . I did eat , but not much . I didn 't have any will to eat , I didn 't have any will to speak . I could only lay in bed , staring up at the ceiling with tears welling in my eyes . Once again , my world was small and within it , I was alone . My parents obviously were very worried about my state of mind , but I soon realized that putting on a smiling face and telling them that I was fine was the easiest way to deal with their constant badgering . School was a different story , I spent most of my days ignoring mostly everyone who wasn 't an adult . I just did my work and stayed quiet . The only thing I had to be thankful for is that Mitchell never spoke to me again , and even went out of his way to completely avoid me . Then about two weeks later , I woke up one morning with an intense pain in my chest . When I told my mom about it , she lifted up my shirt to look at where I said the pain was . There were no marks visible , but when she touched the spot on the right side of my chest that I was complaining about she drew back her finger in surprise . When she pressed her finger against the afflicted area , her fingernail made a grating sound when it made contact . Going into full on mom mode she immediately grabbed her cellphone and called me off from school , then called my pediatrician and said that I needed to be seen right away . When we got there the doctor examined my chest and did some x - rays . We then had to sit in the waiting room for results . After an hour or so the nurse came out to talk to my mom and they whispered quietly while I sat watching them from my seat unable to hear the conversation , then my mom told me to wait there while she went to talk to the doctor . Stiff Skin Syndrome , is what they called it . The disease is genetic , though it is extremely rare . Basically , your body forms lesions on the skin that become hard as stone . Eventually the disease makes it very difficult to move or even breathe . They told my parents and I that I was very lucky since it was spreading so slowly through my body . Because the disease is so rare and unheard of there is no real proven treatment yet . So , I spent a lot of time going to physical therapists and exercising my limbs in preparation for what the disease was doing to me . The first night home from the doctor 's office my mother began her own preparation by covering every mirror in the house with thick , black sheets . At first the covers on the mirrors were frustrating , but I knew she meant well . When I was ten , the disease had spread down to my stomach , when I was thirteen , it covered a large portion of my neck . By the time I was seventeen , I was no longer going to school . I was mostly bed ridden and on oxygen because the disease had started to spread to most of the top half of my legs and it was hard to walk . It was rough , but I always just considered myself somewhat lucky that the disease hasn 't spread to my arms , at the very least didn 't have to be fed through a tube . I am nineteen now , living with parents who are doing their best to stay positive even though their son is becoming a living golem . They look at me with sad yet hopeful eyes whenever they speak to me . They still believe a cure will be found , I know that even if one IS found , it will be too late for me . Last night , I was lying in bed with my oxygen mask on my face staring at the ceiling . After all these years , I still haven 't adjusted to a life of being disabled . My little world has only gotten smaller with time as my childhood and teenage years were torn from me by my illness . I had to pee , and mom always hated when I got out of bed to do things on my own without my wheel chair , but I was tired of living my life like a helpless child . I tore my mask off and slowly swung my legs over the edge of my bed , limping through my open bedroom door toward the bathroom . Once in , I firmly shut the bathroom door and locked it . I knelt down ; an act which cause me a bit of pain , and began to lift the toilet seat . I lost my balance though , and began to fall back as my hand reached out and grabbed the first thing it could of instinct in an attempt for my body to right itself . I grabbed the thick black sheet that covered the mirror on the wall , and ripped it off as I tumbled backwards on my behind . I cursed out in pain as my bare back hit the cold tile wall of my bathroom . I sat there silently for a moment listening for my parents , hoping to god I didn 't wake them up . I began to find it hard to breathe . My lungs were not cooperating and I felt dizzy . For There in the mirror , with her back to reflection , stood Anna . I knew it was Anna , her brown curly hair was unmistakable , and she was still wearing that same crimson dress . She stood in front of me , blocking my view of my own chest . I didn 't know what to do or say , my mind drew a blank all that came was out was an audible whimper . I made a silent prayer in that moment that she did not turn around , but as if in answer , her broken neck slowly craned around in an unnatural motion . Either Anna could not hear me in her other - worldly form , or she didn 't care . Her neck was still turning and was about to complete its one - hundred - eighty - degree rotation . I shut my eyes tight before I could see her face . I didn 't want to see her , the face of her angry spirit that had hate filled eyes for what I allowed to happen to her . I didn 't want to bear it . Then I heard a sound that god help me made me open my eyes . I looked into the mirror , into Anna 's eyes . Eyes that were bloodshot but still retained a glimmer of emerald - green . Eyes that , instead held hate within , held nothing but tears that slowly ran down her cheeks . She was looking at me pleadingly . She moved aside , revealing my chest in the mirror . I saw what , if it were any other ghostly thing there in that bathroom with me , would have made me angry . Instead , I too began to cry because I realized in that moment why my disease never spread to my arms or hands . Stiff Skin Syndrome is indeed a very real affliction , but I don 't have it . To the naked eye , my skin formed hard lesions that bulged the skin . But in that moment within the mirror , I could see my affliction as it truly was . There , scratched into my chest and neck , were several parallel lines . Lines that formed boxes . Only one box from each group of line was filled in and they were filled in with only one x . Since the day Anna died , for some reason , she could not pass on . She stayed here with me , and she was so lonely that she tried to reach out to me , but I wasn 't listening . All she wanted , was to play our favorite game with her only friend . In all my own loneliness , I was foolish . How could I not feel Anna here with me ? I spent so long crying and complaining about my own small world , but Anna 's world had become much , much smaller . If you can somehow read this Anna , I am so very sorry for what happened to you . I am not angry with what you have done ; I deserve this for what I let happen to you . I love you , Anna , you are still my world and I cannot wait until we can finally be together once more , in our own little world . So , here is the deal right up front . I was born with a disease called Cystic Fibrosis , also known as CF . CF is a disease that prevents the pancreas from doing exactly what it needs to do , create enzymes for digestion . Patients with CF have to take enzymes in capsule form with every meal ; myself included , to make sure they don 't shit out their intestines . Now I won 't bore you with everything that my life with CF entails , except for one relevant detail . Ninety - five percent of all males born with CF are sterile , and I was not lucky enough to be part of the five percent . My wife Emilia and I have been married for five long years , and we have stuck with each other through the best , and the very worst of every five of those years . Ever since I first met her , Emilia and I were completely inseparable . We were that couple that grossed you out while you waited in line behind us at the grocery store because we couldn 't keep off of each other . We sat on the same side of a booth at a restaurant , and before ending every phone call we would make sure to say " I love you " , because you never knew what could happen . Not too long ago , I could tell something was bothering Emilia . She seemed disinterested in anything we ever did , and she was much quieter than usual . Then one night while we were getting ready for bed , I confronted her about it . When I did , she told me she was ready for a baby . Now , I have no problem at all with children . I was ready myself . After months of trial and error and many trips to the doctor , we failed . Emilia became depressed , and the whole ordeal took its toll on her body as day by day she became thinner because she just wasn 't eating . I even suggested adoption , but she wouldn 't have it . There was nothing I could do . The woman I loved was torn apart because I was born broken . I was beside myself in my helplessness . One night I was standing outside on my porch smoking while Emilia slept in our bedroom . I was horribly depressed , and all I could do was smoke and stare blankly up at the night sky lost in my own thoughts . Then , a booming voice made me jump and interrupted my train of thought . " You look like someone shot your dog , son " . A man , illuminated by a street lamp was standing out on the road at the edge of my yard with a concerned look . " Hey , yeah sorry I was just lost in thought " . The man was sharply dressed , wearing a crisp grey suit with a red tie and a matching kerchief in the suit pocket . He was just standing with his hands in his pockets out there as if it was the most normal thing in the world . " Anything I can do to help ? " , the man asked with a sound of genuine concern in his voice . Though the man seemed pleasant enough something about him seemed unpleasant . I decided then that it was best to blow him off and go inside , then hope that he would get the hint and leave . " No thanks , but I got to get off to bed now I 'll see you around ! " I gave a short wave and turned around walking back to my door . My hand was just over the door knob when I was halted by a whisper just behind my ear . " Are you sure about that son ? " . I spun around quickly to find the man standing right in front of me . Up close , I could see the man had deep amber eyes seemed to flicker in the light . He had a plain but handsome face , and his suit was pristinely clean . I was about to yell at him but he put up a palm that told me to stop , and a force that I cannot explain held my mouth shut . " Now I am going to cut to the chase boy , no need spending time playing in the garden when you got flowers needin ' tended to . " He reached into my shirt pocket and pulled out a cigarette from the pack inside and then he placed it in his mouth and when the butt touched his lips , the tobacco ignited . He took a drag off of the cigarette and inhaled deeply , exhaling the smoke after he held it in his lungs a moment . When he exhaled the smoke , it blew right in my face and I felt my head become cloudy , my vision blurred slightly and I was launched into a somewhat euphoric state . " She wants a child , and you can 't give her one right ? " , he said nodding toward my house . I tried to say ' yes ' followed by ' how did you know ? ' but I still found myself unable to speak , So I just lazily nodded my head ' yes ' . " Well , I can " he said . After he said it the man must have realized how that sounded to me and he chuckled . " Well I mean to say , YOU can , with my help of course " . The man took the cigarette out of his mouth with his middle finger and forefinger then spoke on . " I can give you and your wife happiness , for just a little something in return " . Finding myself able to speak again I laughed . " My soul ? " , the man raised the hand that wasn 't the cigarette and gave me the finger gun . I couldn 't help but laugh again , " I thought The Devil had horns " . The man didn 't look amused , " Times a wasting Johnny - boy " . The cloud in my head was still making me slightly dizzy , I kept thinking that meeting that man who I now thought to be The Devil , was all part of some dream . I smiled up at his amber eyes then and said , " So do we sign in blood or something " . The Devil let out a hearty resonating laugh that was all together pleasant , but hid a small tinny growl that was barely audible . " No my friend , this will be all that is required " The Devil extended out his hand , holding his cigarette by the butt and offering it to me . Now if you want me to say I did the smart thing and said no , I 'm sorry . I took that cigarette and I took a long , deep , satisfying drag from it . Emilia was my entire world , and I couldn 't bear to see her in such pain . To be completely honest though , that night was so surreal that at the time , I could have sworn it was a dream . The Devil then shook my hand and gave me a wicked smile . Before he vanished he said to me " On the day you die , you and I will exchange words once more " , he bowed and disappeared as quickly as he appeared . I took the whole experience as just a silly nightmare due to my guilt over being not a good enough man for my wife . Then one week later , Emilia excitedly announced to me she was pregnant . The dream had all but left my memory by then and there was no way I could have prepared myself for what awaited me at the end of the path that I had chosen to take . I could not have been happier from then on . The tone in my house shifted from a somber chill to an excited warmth . Emilia was in constant high spirits , finally getting what she so desperately dreamed of for so long . My doctor called it a miracle . " You are one lucky man Robert " , he told me , " Having a child naturally is very rare in cases like yours " . Finally , it was time for the baby to come , Emilia gave birth to a beautiful baby girl that we named Heather . After she was born , Heather became my entire world . Sure , I loved my wife but as anyone with kids will tell you , your children come first . My happiness was insurmountable , it didn 't matter to me that The Devil took my soul away , because my heart and family was finally complete . Then , a year and a half after heather was born , I was visited by the man in the grey suite once again . Emilia had gone to work that morning and I had the day off to be with Heather . I often had the extreme pleasure of watching over our daughter , a job which I would have taken any hour of any day of the week . Heather 's beautiful green eyes that were just like her mother 's , warmed my heart every time she looked up at me and smiled . Heather and I were in the living room and I was trying to teach her how to walk , when I noticed the man sitting in the recliner in the corner of the room . I scooped Heather up in my arms and held her tight . I glared at The Devil with hate - filled eyes . " What the hell are you doing here ! ? " I yelled . " It 's time to collect son " , he said , taking a long drag off of a cigarette . A fear rose in me then as I shook my head slowly and Heather turned and outstretched her arms toward the man in the chair . " I 'm not dead " I whispered . The Devil laughed . " Do you really believe that 's how things work ? " He stood up in his chair and walked over me taking Heather from my arms , I tried to resist , but once again , my head became cloudy and I could barely move . The Devil rocked my daughter in his arms as he spoke once more . " Forget what you learned about in church boy , when you get to the bottom of the barrel there 's really only one thing that counts , and that 's faith " . Heather giggled at him as he spoke on . " Now I know that 's an old concept but faith comes in many forms you see . You can have faith in god , you can have faith in your future , and of course , you can have faith in your family . " He smiled a smile full of perfect white teeth as he just kept right on rocking my beautiful daughter . " Faith is the only thing that stops me from taking a soul , and it is very hard work shaking someone 's faith without revealing who I am . That 's one of the rules you see , I can 't really let out I am The Devil unless I am making a deal for a soul . Once I make the deal , if someone still has their faith in something they love , the deal is irrelevant and I get nothing for my hard work " . The Devils face melted and contorted then , becoming a mess of twisted flesh and hair . While his face was morphing , The Devil continued speaking , although his voice now sounded like two instead of one . " Of course , I have been doing this a very long time , I have learned of ways to get what I desire " . At the last few words he spoke The Devil 's voice returned to one , except this time it was more feminine as his features reset in his face . His hair grew long and his eyes went from brown to a beautiful shade of green . I cried out in horror as my daughter uttered her first word . " Mama ! " Heather said , and The Devil wearing the face of my wife turned to her and smiled . Heathers beautiful smiling face turned into one of twisted agony then as she began crying , letting out a painful wailing scream . Her entire little body became engulfed in flames , she burned quickly , and she soon became just a pile of ash at The Devil 's feet , and I fell to my knees and cried . " NOOOOO ! ! ! " I wailed . " NOOOO ! ! ! " I said through tears of sorrow as The Devil just stood there smiling my wife 's smile . I was broken and crying , my world had been ripped out from under me , and I was a blubbering mess . " You bastard ! What did you do to my wife , what did you do to my little Heather , it was my soul you wanted ! She isn 't yours to take ! " The Devil threw his head back and laughed Emilia 's laugh . " You don 't get it ? There was never any Emilia Johnny - boy , never will be . I was able to take your daughter 's soul because , after all , she IS half mine " . My blubbering and crying ceased as I felt all feeling and emotion leave me , I became as cold as stone . In that moment I realized not only had my life and my marriage had been a complete sham , but I would never get to hold sweet Heather in my arms ever again . The Devil approached laughed once more as his body began melting again , and his appearance returned to the man in the grey suit . " Don 't feel bad son it will all be over soon . Look at it this way , you never had any wife to mourn AND you got to be with a celebrity , you should feel honored " The man then produced a hand gun and threw it down beside me in my kneeling position . " Why not just take me now ? " I asked . " It 's another one of the rules sonny , I can 't kill anyone for a soul " . I looked down at the gun by my knees and planned on grabbing it and using it as The Devil wanted me to , putting it in my mouth , and pulling the trigger . I knew there was no way out , The Devil had succeeded in taking away my very reason for living and it didn 't matter if I did it then or ten years from now . I was still going to burn . ' But at least ' I thought ' You 'll be with heather ' . I went for the gun until something occurred to me that lit a small ember of hope within my spirit . " But there was a Heather " I said . The Devil stopped in raised an eyebrow , looking down at me with intrigue . " What ? " . " There was a heather , she was yours , but she still had a soul right ? " The Devil nodded with a smile . " Well of course , every life has a soul son " . I thought of Heather 's beautiful smile that she gave every time I went to fetch her from her crib and my heart warmed inside . " I want to make a deal " I said . Laying Heather down in her crib earlier was a bit of a task . She didn 't want to go to sleep tonight for some reason . But , she finally drifted off after many hours of sitting by her crib and reading stories . I normally didn 't mind but I have work to do tonight if I want to keep my quota . One soul a month was what I promised The Devil , and in hindsight I think this might be what The Devil planned all along . It 's awful work , I hate doing it , but I would do anything for my sweet Heather . How do I get these souls you ask ? Well , my faith was returned to me when I got back Heather , and my friend Bill from work just brought home his beautiful little baby boy . I am a writer , always have been and always will be . But I wasn 't always any good at it . To be honest I was once really quite terrible . When I was younger , my free time was spent writing stories and I even started work on a novel once . But eventually all of my work found its way straight into the garbage because it was deplorable , and I knew it . I never became discouraged though , I kept pursuing my dream of being a writer by trade . Every day I would come home from school and begin writing until it was very late . Then the time came one day when I wasn 't a child anymore and I had to choose a career . I was graduating high school and I realized that I couldn 't just hope for the ability to write well and make a living off of it . I had been living with my brother and his wife by the time I was ready to graduate . My parents died when I was fifteen after being struck by a drunk driver . So I chose a job in restaurant management , glamorous I know . The pay was good though , and I found an apartment about a block away from the place I would be working at ; the name of which I won 't disclose , so everything just sort of fell into place . The hours I spent at work were long and stressful , as anyone who works in management can tell you . But like I said , the pay wasn 't bad and I lived alone . So I was able to save up quite a bit of money . The only expenses I paid for outside of the basics was an occasional bottle of scotch and cigarettes . I also picked up writing supplies every now and then of course . Not even a stressful and demanding job , one that I would often be called in at on my days off for various reasons , could keep me from wanting to write . That of course didn 't mean the routine ever changed . I would write and write and then write some more . Though , now that I was older I would keep most of the hundreds of pages I had written and would pore over them when I became too tired to write . I would read every single word , every phrase , and every line . Fantasy stories about great heroes and the legends they became . Conspiracy dramas about corrupt governments and societies . Horror stories about ghastly figures that came from the shadows and stalked the night . All of these things I had written hundreds of short stories about and every word I had written down , in my eyes , was utter horse shit . As time went on I became exponentially more frustrated until one particularly bad day . It was my day off , and I sat at my kitchen table in my little shack of and apartment drinking scotch and reading a piece I had written earlier that morning about a man who acquires the powers of teleportation from radioactive sludge . The exposition was weak , the grammar was terrible , and there was no ending to a story that I personally have ever read that was as tasteless and uninspired as the one I had written . I starred at the pages of that story after reading it for a second time . It definitely was a terrible story and I was dismayed . I then picked up some other pages of stories that I had set to the side on the table to revise and read them over again as well . As I read , only one thought pounded my head like a jack hammer to concrete . Garbage . It was all unintelligible childish garbage . I picked up my half empty glass off of the table and downed it in one gulp as it warmed and then burned my throat . The brown liquid began heating my gut , where a myriad of emotional self - hatred and disgust was already brewing . I sat the glass back down on the table and calmly stood as I stared down at all of those stories . Then all at once the emotional brew in my gut bubbled to the surface and I threw my hands on the table grasping in blind fury at the pages . I grabbed as many papers I could ; as quickly as I could , ripping them all apart one by one . Blind anger made me see red as I felt the dream I had been working for slip away due to my own inability to produce anything at all worthwhile . When I was through with the pages I grabbed the edge of my kitchen table with both hands and flipped it over as hard as I could , sending the stories flying and my empty glass to the floor . The glass shattered , the pieces of it laying in shards across neatly penned but torn paper . I wanted to grab the gas can from my trunk and cover it all with gasoline , then light a match and watch it all burn as hot as the frustration inside of me . I thought better of that however , and I stormed out of my apartment and got in my car . I had been drinking aDriving always through the country always soothes me , and at that moment I needed some soothing . This wasn 't my first silly tantrum but it was definitely the biggest one . After driving for a minute or two though , I had already begun to calm down . I found myself about a mile or two outside of town when for better or for worse , my life changed forever . I was already deciding on turning my car around and heading back to town when something caught my eye . I slammed on the brakes and my car swerved just a bit , if there was anyone behind me I surely would have been the cause of an accident , but I didn 't care . My car was stopped directly in front of a driveway that was filled with white rock . There , at the end of the driveway , stood a grey and grimy looking house . The house was modest , and it had just a touch of a dilapidated appearance . It was easy to tell though , that when the house was in new and pristine condition , it would have been quite cozy . Beyond the house were the still waters of a serene lake . Mist rolled across the grey water of the lake from the grove of trees just beyond its edge , and me ? Well , I fell in love . I know it sounds crazy , but looking out onto the surface of that water I felt myself being pulled and drawn to that place . I felt as though it was calling me . So , I pulled into the driveway . By some miracle of luck , a sign was sticking of the grass in the front yard that claimed the house was for rent . I called the number posted on the sign and got in touch with the landlord . The first thing I asked was how much rent was a month . " Ah " He said , " I was actually meaning to take that sign down , I recently decided I want to sell it but I can 't find a realtor that wants to help me " . " Oh , I 'm sorry for bothering you " I told him , feeling pretty disappointed . " Now hold on son " , he said . " The previous tenants went missing or left in a hurry and never got in touch with me . I will be honest , the inside of the house is sort of junk , but if you 're still interested I could rent it to you for two - hundred " . A big smile spread across my face , " Perfect " . I was moved in to that house within the week , and as you can probably guess I was elated . This was the absolute perfect place to develop my writing . I went straight to work , sitting at my desk that I had pushed up against one of the windows in a room that over looked the lake . With a glass of scotch and a pen and looking out at the water through the window , I began thinking of a story about the house I was in , and ghastly nightmares that lie within the water of the lake . The people rose from the surface of the water as ghastly apparitions . They stalked the woods beyond the lake searching for victims to drag into the depths . I was up drinking and writing very late that night , trying to conjure up the perfect ending to my tale . I soon realized I was very tired , and thought that most likely I couldn 't come up with anything due to my exhaustion . Before going to bed I re - read what I had written and excitement filled my body . For once in my life , I actually approved of the work that was written down on those pages . The story , if I do say so myself , was a masterpiece . Now if only I could find that elusive ending . I finished my scotch and retired to my bedroom hoping that an ending would come to me in the morning . That night ; as I slept , I dreamt of the people in the lake that I wrote my story about . I lay at the bottom of the lake starring up at the house through the water . My view of the house was as surreal as the dream I was having . It was as if the surface of the water was a wall . In the middle of the wall was a portal , and through the portal , was my house . There laying on the lake bed I was surrounded by men and women of all ages and races . They whispered words to me that echoed through the water . They spoke of the lake , and the incredible power it held . They told me that if I wanted to be successful , I would listen to them , and listen I did . That morning I woke up with new determination . I jumped out of bed and immediately began writing what the people in my dream had told me . I have heard that when people dream , it is their subconscious mind telling them things they already knew . Man was I grateful to my subconscious mind . Usually dreams I had , were cloudy and disjointed making them hard to recall , but not this one . I finished my story quickly , with the ending exactly how the people in the water described it . The tale was absolutely perfect . I then spent some time transcribing the story digitally to my computer . When I was finished , I sent the story by email to a horror fiction magazine that I had a subscription to . Horror , it seemed that horror was my specialty . After sending the story off , I didn 't sit on my ass and wait anxiously for a response . I wrote all day and all night , coming up with several pieces of fiction at once . All of the stories I wrote then , were good . But like my first story I couldn 't come up with an ending to any of them . This was frustrating , but once again it was late and I hoped that lightning would strike twice and I would be able to think of endings in the morning to at least one of my stories . As it turns out , lightning struck many times . On my second night of writing , I went to sleep and once again dreamt of the people in the water . Whispering enveloped me from all around in the water and told me how I should go about ending every one of my stories . For a while , this became a pattern . I would write stories , go to sleep , and get advice from other - worldly spirits that resided just outside my home in the water . I would wake up and get to work finishing the stories they told me to revise or complete . It sounds completely silly but I assure you this is how I came up with my writing . Then a week later the magazine I sent my first story to replied back . They were going to publish my story ! What 's more , that wanted to read more of my writing and publish it as well and would compensate me for my work ! I was absolutely elated . Finally , years of throwing away my work and waiting for the perfect story paid off . My success only spurred my passion for writing and I wrote story after story , nearly four a day . I waiting for ending after ending to come to me in my dreams of the lake . Always from whispers , and always laying on the bed of that lake staring up at the house . I of course submitted more and more stories to the magazine , and every piece I wrote , they published . Soon I was able to quit my job at the restaurant and focus exclusively on writing for the magazine . Eventually , my dreams of the peoplThen , a year later , I lay in the bed of my unlit room unable to fall asleep . So much success had come to me so quickly and my dream of being a writer , at least in a small sense , had come true . Now I had enough money and enough experience to have the confidence to work on a novel . My eyes began to adjust to the darkness and I looked out through my window into the darkness . I could see the grove of trees that lay beyond the window and watched as the wind made their leaves and limbs dance in a moonlight that was very bright that night . The figures of the trees resembled people standing out there in the light that were waving their arms and it brought back a memory , the memory of the people in the lake . Real or not , the people in my dreams still helped me become as successful as I was . " Thank you , you made my dream come true " , I said aloud and felt a bit silly as I did , but I began to grow tired and I slowly began to drift off to sleep . As my eyes started to close , through the slits of my eyelids I noticed movement , and forced my eyelids open . I tried to yell , but my voice was silenced as I suddenly found myself unable to breathe . There , standing all around my bed were men and women . Men and women that I recognized , they were the people from the lake , the people in my dreams from so long ago . They were all standing silent and still . Their faces were a twisted and puffy bloated mess with bright blue veins running all along their cheeks and foreheads . Some of them weren 't breathing , but some of them were , and the rise and fall of their bodies came with the sound of a wheezing death rattle . From their mouth 's came inconsistent amounts of water , falling at random moments from their mouths . They stared down at me with cold eyes that had pupils and iris 's that had long since lost their color and were now ivory white . Once again I tried to scream and yell out in fear , but all that came of it was a soft gurgling sound in my chest along with a pain like none I had ever felt before . " Don 't try to speak Jimmy , it is far too painful " . The people from the lake spoke in unison , but their mouths were unmoving and produced no sound . Instead their words came as a cacophony of whispers in my brain . Ignoring their warning , I tried like mad to scream at them and tell them to get the hell out of my house , but all that came out were fits of coughs as I choked on cold water . " We cannot leave Jimmy , not without you , your time is up we 're afraid " , The whispers came out in ghastly rattles that were almost painful to hear , " When you first came to us in your wretched state , you were broken and in shambles , what we 've done to make you whole once more will not last " . I wanted to ask what they meant by that but I was interrupted by a deep cut they began to form on my forehead . The cut started gushing blood badly and I reached up to touch it , and I touched bone . As my hand ran over my face I felt that it was cold and puffy , bloated almost . It was then I realized that the pain in my chest had gone away , in fact , I felt no pain anymore at all . One of the deformities grabbed me by the foot as a screenshot from a memory that I had lost came to mind , busted glass . Realization slowly set in , and I didn 't even fight them off when they began dragging me off of my bed and out of my room . The whispers then came once more . " You pleaded with us and told us of your sadness , you told of us of your poor parents and your broken dreams , we felt so very sorry for you that our hearts ached " . ( my eyes shut as they dragged me out of the house and onto the lawn walking in the direction of the lake ) " We returned life to you , and we gave you a second chance that you should not have needed in the first place " ( We reached the water 's edge , and my feet began to be submerged ) " Of course , you know how this story ends , and we shouldn 't have to tell you , but . " ( My chest then head is submerged in the cold water , and I shut out what the whispers were going to say , I simply just waited for them to take me to wherever they were going to leave me as every feeling of joy and sorrow left my soul until I felt nothing but empty ) . I knew the ending line of the story , and I did not need for those water filled bags of rot to tell me how it went . The irony of this situation isn 't lost on me as I lay here looking up through the water at my house that is cast now in moonlight . I don 't know how long I have been down here now , but it feels like years . Years that I have spent sitting at the bottom of this lake , unable to move , only able to stare up through my windshield and the house that was the last thing I saw when I lost control of my car and went careening into the lake . In my drunken state I couldn 't correct the car in time , and I couldn 't unbuckle this god damned seatbelt . I deserve this fate , especially after what happened to my parents . I was the one who decided to get into the car after drinking , I am not complaining about that , but the ending to my story will torture me till the end of time . Oh , I suppose the curious type what to know how it ends ? Of course you do . ' The writer never really believed or realized that his talent came from within , he always somewhere inside thought that it came from that place . The place that because of his own self - doubt , he was doomed to watch over until eternity . That place , The House on the Water ' . My cat Cocoa , was a silly little thing . She always liked to sleep in my closet on a pile of blankets that I kept underneath my hanging shirts . Don 't ask me why she did that , I supposed she liked having the space all to herself . If she wasn 't sleeping in the closet she was sleeping on my chest while I petted her . Sometimes she would spend the night going from me to the closet unable to make up her mind on where she wanted to sleep . Cocoa was also always very independent . She would paw on my front door whenever she wanted to be let out until I went and opened the door for her . Then , usually very late at night , she would come back and meow at the door until I let her back in , sometimes bringing in dead mice which I would have to dispose of once I was able to catch her and take it from her mouth . This was a constant routine in my house and one I didn 't really mind putting up with sense I lived alone and Cocoa really was my only family . One night , as I lay in bed about to drift off to sleep I heard Cocoa get up from her spot in the closet and go out into my foyer . Then I heard her begin her usual pawing at the door . I got up grumbling a little angry that she 'd wanted to go outside at such an unusually late hour , and I made my way to the front door . As soon as I opened the door Cocoa darted out like a rocket in the night , eager to go out and do whatever it was she did in the night . I shut the door , and walked through the unlit foyer back to my bedroom , hoping that Cocoa wouldn 't come back until later in the morning . I fell asleep quickly listening to the sound of the wind outside my window that was blowing particularly hard that night . Then I was awoken sometime later by the sound of soft mewing . It was hard to hear over the sound of the wind blowing so fiercely but it was there . I got up in a groggy half - asleep haze and stumbled to the foyer . On my way to my front door I nearly broke my neck on my shoes that I couldn 't see because I my eyes were only half open . I opened my front door rubbing my eyes and hearing Cocoa mew once before quickly running into my bedroom to find her spot in my closet and I shut the front door turning the dead bolt in place . That night I didn 't even bother going after her to check for rodents in her maw , I had to work in the morning and I was just too tired to care . I went straight to my bed and when my head hit the pillow , I heard Cocoa run out of my closet in the dark and she jumped up on my chest . Normally I would pet her as I drifted off to sleep but I was just SO tired I fell asleep almost as soon as she landed on me . I awoke the next morning with a sharp pain in my chest that burned like fire . I got up and went to the mirror and lifted up my shirt . Directly in the center of my chest was a small pin - prick sized whole with a three - inch dark ring around it . With a finger I poked the wound , and the touch immediately sent a sensation of sharp daggers all through my body . I went to my bedroom and grabbed my phone off of the nightstand and could hear Cocoa messing around under my bed . I grabbed a cigarette from the pack on the nightstand along with the lighter that sat beside it . I dialed my doctor 's office and let it ring as I went to my front door to go outside to smoke on the porch . I unlocked the door , and swung it open stepping out onto the porch lighting my cigarette as I hugged my phone to my shoulder with the right side of my face . There was a loud squishing sound as my foot touched down on something sticky and soft . I looked down jumping back from whatever I stepped on and screamed . Cocoa lay there on her side , a gaping hole in her chest from something that had come from the inside out . I sit here now in my doctor 's office . When I gathered up my senses after seeing Cocoa in that awful state , I shut my door and locked it and drove straight here demanding I see the doctor . Shivers are still running up and down my spine at the thought of whatever ghastly nightmare slept on top of me all night and then hid under my bed when I awoke . I am awaiting X - ray results and I am praying that I found out something soon . Judging from that hole in Cocoa 's chest , I don 't think I have much time to wait . It 's so funny how we live our lives , bouncing from one moment to the next without ever really paying attention to the big picture . Don 't worry , I 'm not gonna ' sit here and drone on about all that ' live your life to the fullest crap ' . Even after what happened to me , I 'm sure as hell not . I was still living at home with my parents . I was still trying to figure out life . I was waiting for my big epiphany I guess , something to strike me like a bolt of lightning and tell me what I needed to be doing with my life . Well , my epiphany came . The only thing was ; instead of striking like lightning , it came in a form more akin fire . That Friday night I was alone as per usual . We were open twenty - four hours , and I was stuck with most of the A . M . part of those hours . So it was pretty slow that night , with the occasional patron walking in to get a late night supply of grocery items . It was a small town , so I knew pretty much everyone who came in . There was not one reason why I should have been afraid to be at that store so late , none at all . But there was about to be . It was around one in the morning , and I was on the opposite end of the store from the entrance where we kept the dairy products . I was restocking the milk when I heard the chime of the bell that heralded someone entering the building . I turned around to look , though I couldn 't see who it was passed the aisles of candy and chips between me and the door . " Hello , I 'll be right there with you " I called out . I walked around the aisles leaving my milk unattended fully intending to come back for it after I was through helping the customer . When I reached the counter I saw the man standing in front of a rack of cheap Easter - themed candy and stuffed rabbits that we set out for the month of April . He was very tall , at least 6 " 2 ' , and he wore a large black over - coat that concealed most of his body . When I saw what the man looked like , I moved as naturally yet as quickly as I could behind the counter . We kept a baseball bat under the cash register in a cubby for protection , but I wasn 't stupid . I knew if this man was up to no good I had little chance fending him off . I don 't go to the gym and I 'm only 5 " 4 ' , and this guy ? He was a monster . No , I went directly for my phone in my pocket . I unlocked my phone , and held it under the counter and out of view . I had 911 already pulled up on the screen and ready to go in case things went bad . You might think I was being silly , but I 've seen enough horror movies in my day to feel like it was wise to be cautious . I double checked my phone while the man 's attention was still on the rack of Easter junk and made sure that my thumb was held just above the send button . Finally , I felt a little more confident to speak up . " Can I help you ? " I asked the man , trying to sound and look as casual as possible . The man didn 't move , not one damn bit . Hell from where I was standing I couldn 't even tell if he was breathing . I cleared my throat before speaking once more . " Excuse me sir , is there anything I can get for you ? Did you have Fuel ? " The man finally turned to me very slowly . When he turned I could see that the rest of his attire was as dark as his overcoat . Now that I think about it , I don 't think black is the right word for what color it was . It was darker than black . His short cropped hair matched his clothing , but the skin on his face was a shade of white that contrasted so much with his clothing that it actually was almost dizzying to look at . Then I saw his eyes . The man 's eyes were the most beautiful striking shade of blue I have ever seen . The man turned back to the rack he had been examining and picked out a stuffed rabbit from the shelf . He turned to the counter and walked over to me with the rabbit in hand and as he approached , I felt a fear in my heart that wrapped a heavy stone around it and pulled it down to my stomach and paralyzed me to my spot . The man sat down the rabbit on the counter , and looked at me with a smile that was just a little too big for his face . I realized in that moment why fear had immobilized me ; though I cannot tell you why I didn 't notice before , that the man had no teeth . That 's not even right to say , he didn 't just have any teeth . From what I could see , there was nothing in his gaping maw whatsoever . If he had gums , they were too small for me to see . I couldn 't see a tongue , I couldn 't see the roof of his mouth , nothing at all . There was nothing there I swear it on my life ! Nothing but empty black . I let out a small shuddering cry then , as my phone fell from my hand and shattered on the tiled floor . Blackness over took me then , and I could not see a thing . But I was still there in that store , with that man . I could feel his hands on my face , gently caressing my cheeks and forehead as if he had never felt a face before . Then I heard other bodies around me . I heard the whispers of voices in a language I didn 't understand , and I could feel more hands on me , touching my back and my legs and my chest . There were so many hands . But then came the pain . The hands stopped their caressing , and in their place came sharp instruments stabbing into my skin . Blades of various sizes and shapes entered my chest and sides , and I could feel what I thought were needles digging into my scalp . I prayed and prayed for the pain to stop . I prayed that I would wake up from a terrible nightmare that it was all just a dream . Then when an hour went by I just prayed to die , the fires of hell would have been preferable to the hot searing pain of whatever was happening to me . The worst of it was that I didn 't even know what was going on . I couldn 't see and all I could hear were those damned whispers . Then all at once , it stopped . I woke up in a hospital bed , with my parents sitting beside me in chairs . They stood up assaulted me with hugs and kisses and told me they loved me and asked me if I was okay . I told them I was fine , which I was . A doctor whose name I can 't recall walked in and explained to me that I had been attacked . I was in recovery for about a week in a nearly catatonic state that the doctors couldn 't explain . I had no marks , or cuts on my body , aside from one minor bump on the back of my head . He said I was found that morning by my manager who was coming in early for his 5 o ' clock shift to do inventory . When he found me laying down face - up outside the store on the sidewalk he immediately called 911 . I sit here now with a pad of paper and a pen along with a tumbler of bourbon trying to decide what to do . I am in my own bed , the doctor agreed to let me go home earlier as long as I came back in a week for a check - up . I think I will probably skip that . You see , about an hour ago I was awoken by the familiar sound of whispering at my bedroom window . When I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes sitting there on the window sill , was a stuffed rabbit . I don 't think I have to tell you it was the same one from my store . Then I heard a sound like thunder , as I looked up into the night sky that for one brief moment ; a moment so short that if you blinked you would miss it , was completely set ablaze . Then , it was quiet , and the night sky was black again . A black so dark , it was like there was nothing in it , at all . Ever since I can remember , my mother always collected antiques . Growing up , my entire house was in a constant state of disarray due to the amount of junk my mother collected . Old cuckoo clocks hung by the dozens on the walls of the living room and the kitchen . Jars of archaic buttons and glass beads sat on nearly every surface . Old china dolls sat on the mantle , and inside glass cases in our hallways so that they sat looking through the glass at passersby . Those dolls were the reason that as a young girl I refused to drink any liquid before bed time , because I didn 't want to get up in the middle of the night to pee and have to pass by the dolls and their lifeless gaze . I could go on and on about the many other odd knickknacks that occupied my childhood home , but there are none more interesting than the man in the brass fedora . My mother received the man in the brass fedora when I was around eleven years old . I don 't remember exactly when it was , but I do remember sitting in the living room playing my N64 when there was a loud knock at the door . My mother was doing dishes in the kitchen and didn 't seem like she heard the knock , so I got up to go see who it was and through the glass window set in our front door I could see it was uncle Robbie . Uncle Robbie was my dad 's best friend ; he wasn 't really my uncle but that 's what I always knew him as . Uncle Robbie was carrying something large that was wrapped in a white sheet that was nearly as tall as him ; and when I opened the door to let him in , his huffing and puffing as he walked through the doorway told me it was pretty heavy as well . I shut the door as Uncle Robbie walked passed me ; saying thanks , and huffing into the living room with beads of sweat dripping from his forehead . Mom heard the commotion and walked into the living room from the kitchen to see what was going on . Uncle Robbie set down the heavy object he was carrying and wiped the sweat pooling above his eyebrows with his arm . " Oh , Robbie , you didn 't ! " ; my mother said , wiping her hands with a dish towel . " Yeah I did Martha ; it 's been sitting down at the shop for six months now I couldn 't get anyone to take it " . My mother clapped her hands together and let out a small squeal of excitement , I ; however , sighed and went back to lay on my stomach in front of the T . V . to play my game . I was definitely NOT interested in whatever was under that sheet . You see , ol ' Uncle Robbie owned an antique store , which is most likely where my mother 's pentient for collecting things came from . Whatever was under that sheet was just another piece of old junk that my eleven - year - old self just didn 't want any part of . Uncle Robbie and Mom stood there talking a bit longer ; but I couldn 't tell you what they said as I was too engrossed in my game , but I did hear the sound of the sheet being quickly pulled off of whatever i " I agree with you Jan , but your mother wanted it ! " " How much was it ? " , I asked , still from my position on the floor . My Mother shot me a look that told me I should mind my business , and invited Uncle Robbie into the kitchen for a glass of tea , which he accepted and followed her into the next room . I stood up and walked over to the statue once I was alone . I stood there , a few feet from the statue , with its eyes staring straight into mine . It was as if the statue moved its gaze to stare straight at me , so I leaned from the left to the right just to make sure it wouldn 't follow me . Of course ; it didn 't , and I reached out to touch the statue . I took care not to knock it over as I reached out to touch the polished wood of the statue 's brown coat . As expected , the wood was smooth , and as I ran my hand across the statue it rocked slightly . I quickly pulled my hand away afraid that it would tumble backwards , and I saw that the fedora rocked slightly . I had assumed that the fedora was glued on or something ; but it was clear now that it was simply placed loosely on its head , as it now sat slightly but noticeably askew . The man in the brass fedora stared at me almost accusingly with its two differently colored eyes . Its hands were resting on its waist as if to say ' You shouldn 't be playing with me ' . " You creep me out " ; I said aloud , as if the statue could actually hear me . I didn 't like being alone in the room with the statue , so I turned around to join my Mother and Uncle Robbie in the kitchen . As I reached the threshold of the entrance to the kitchen though , I heard the sound of metal rubbing against wood . I spun around to look at the man in the brass fedora who was just as still as ever . He stared off in the direction of our T . V . as he had been , hands still resting on his waist . I let out a breath I didn 't know I was holding in and I was about to turn back around , but something caught my eye . The fedora that sat on top of the statue 's head was now righted again and back in its original position . I bolted from the living room into the kitchen asI didn 't mention anything to Mom or Uncle Robbie about that experience , though they did ask why I was breathing so hard . I brushed it off and gave them some silly excuse . I knew they would just laugh it off if I told them . I even wrote it off myself some time later as the fedora simply shifting back into place due to its weight or whatever . Even so , I never was alone with that statue if I could help it . I even asked Mom and Dad if I could move my game system into my room because the statue freaked me out so much . Mom protested , but Dad let me have my way as he always did back then . So most of my days were spent away in my room playing my games and completely avoiding the side of the house with the statue in it . At night , I would have awful nightmares of the statue coming into my room and grabbing me in the night . I would wake up screaming in the night with my sheets soaked in sweat . That was also the time in my life when my monthly friend came to visit me for the first time . The first night it happened I had a dream of the statue standing over my bed and when I woke up screaming , I found my pajama bottoms were soaked with red . I of course freaked the hell out , but Mom consoled me and explained that this was a huge pain in the ass that I would have to deal with for the rest of my life . Somehow though , I found a way to blame it on that damned statue . It brought the nightmares ; and I was sure it started the periods , even though I knew it was silly to think such a thing . Children think in funny ways sometimes . Days turned into weeks , and weeks turned into months . Eventually the man in the brass fedora finally did become just a part of the scenery in our house and I got used to him . The statue was just another piece of junk that Mom collected and was obsessed with . I still avoided its gaze , but more out of instinct than anything . Finally , it was the week after my twelfth birthday . I remember it well for two reasons . The first ; is that my best friend to this day , Angela was staying that weekend and I was very excited . She missed my birthday party the week before because her family took a vacation to Florida . I didn 't have a whole lot of friends growing up because I was a shy girl , so my party was sort of bland that year . Not that I wasn 't grateful for what I got . Mom and Dad still made sure I got plenty of gifts like I always do , and Mom made me an awesome cake like every year . Uncle Robbie even showed up to give me a gift too , a gold heart shaped necklace . I remember hugging Uncle Robbie and telling him it was the best thing I had ever gotten , and I wasn 't lying . The second reason I won 't forget that week is what happened on that Friday when Angela came to stay the night . Angela and I spent the day playing the new games I 'd gotten for my birthday on my 64 , and talking about all of the things Angela did on her vacation . As day turned into night we , could hear downstairs the raucous laughter of my parents and Uncle Robbie as they drank and played cards . Every so often Mom would pop her head in to make sure we didn 't need anything , and at one point she brought us up some chocolate chip cookies she decided to bake . It was nearly one in the morning before Angela and I decided to lay down to sleep , we lay up talking about the girls at our school for about fifteen minutes before we fell asleep . I dreamt once again of the man in the brass fedora ; as he stood looming over Angela and I , watching us sleep . All at once , a sudden cacophony of crashing sounds woke me up . I shot up in my bed and turned to Angela who was stAfter that night , I was hysterical for a long time . So much so , that I couldn 't even explain to my parents what was wrong with me . The dreams of the statue were gone , replaced with visions of my sweet Uncle Robbie twisted and mangled at the bottom of a flight of stairs . I had nothing to remember him by , I even somehow lost the necklace he gave me on my birthday that night . My parents were forced to put me in therapy , and though I have repressed much of my teenage life , I ironically never forgot that god damned statue and what I knew it had done to my Uncle Robbie . I would go into hysterics any time I saw the wretched thing . My mother was forced to stash away the statue , though I had thought she had gotten rid of it and I would never see it again . I was wrong . I am twenty - three now , and it was last week that I 'd face my childhood fears for the last time . Last week I was visiting my mother at her house helping her clean out some of the old junk she kept at the house . Dad died two years ago of cancer and I think a lot of Mom 's old stuff reminds her of Dad . I was in the hallway closet , picking out some old shirts Mom didn 't need anymore , when I slid aside a bunch of old sweaters and was met with a pair of eyes ; one green , one brown . I lost consciousness right then and there , and I woke up on my mother 's couch minutes later . She was above me holding a glass of water with a worried expression . I jumped up quickly from the couch and grabbed her shoulders . " Mom , that statue , you have to get rid of it , it killed Uncle Robbie ! " , I most likely sounded like a madwoman , but I didn 't care . I couldn 't believe my own mother could keep such a thing when she knew what it was to me . A complete nightmare . I was surprised to find my mother 's expression didn 't change , she merely sighed and sat down on the couch . " Honey , I 'm going to need you to sit down , this isn 't going to be easy for me to say but you have to know " . My mother spoke flatly , trying to not let emotion enter her voice . I stood there in mild shock as my eyes were slowly drawn to the hallway closet where I knew the statue was hidden behind a closed door . " Never mind that , sit down on the damn couch Jan ! " she snapped . I sat down on the couch beside her , shaking slightly in my seat . " I am about to tell you something that is going to upset you but you have to know , your father and I swore we would never say a word , but I can 't let you go on without knowing the truth . " , Mom took a deep breath then continued . " The night after Robbie died they searched his house , and they found … things … " Her voice cracked a little and she cleared her throat , and tears began to well up in her eyes . " They found drugs , opium they said " . I was about to say something but she held out a hand to stop me . " They found pictures Jan , bad pictures , awful pictures . " The tears fell freely onto her cheeks now as she continued . " Pictures of little boys and girls , all of them without clothes on , most of them asleep in their beds . " My eyes widened as she spoke , I couldn 't believe what she was saying . How could any of this be true , why didn 't I know about this . I wanted to stop her ; tell her not to tell me anymore because I was afraid of what she might say next , but I had to know . " But the worst thing they found … . " She couldn 't finish , she just kept on sobbing , choking and hiccupping as she was unable to control her own breathing . " What else did they find Mom ? ! " I stood up and grabbed her by the shoulders . For a moment , Mom stopped crying then . She looked up at me with a pained expression , her eyes stared into mine as the world as I knew it cracked and broke away . Mom looked away from me then , crying into her hands unable to finish telling me what she set out to tell me . But she didn 't have to . I knew . Robbie ; a man once so near and dear to my family that I once called him Uncle , molested children . He would come into their rooms in the middle of the night , and he would take pictures of his vile acts while he did it . But the worst thing about it is I now know that while that bastard would sit at our dinner table , and eat and laugh and carry on like he was part of the god damned family . He would come into my room at night and take pictures while he did god knows what to me . Through her sobs , my mother spoke once more . " You don 't have to hide it from me Jan , I know you pushed Robbie down those stairs , I know somehow you found out " . I looked at my mother then . I saw the sincerity in her eyes . I knew she thought I killed Robbie , but as any mother would , she knew he deserved what he got . But I told you , up until that me blacking out , I remember everything from that night . I recalled all at once the statue at the bottom of the stairs . I recalled how ; although very much impossible and defying the very nature of the wood it was carved into ; it 's flat expression was twisted into one of remorse when it saw me appear at the top of the stairs . I hugged my mother then , and I told her it was okay . I told her that I loved her , and I was sorry for scaring her . She stood up from the couch to make us tea in the kitchen and I waited till she was out of sight . I went to the closet in the hallway and I opened the door . The statue stood there , it 's flat expression the same as it always was . There was a change in the statue however , it 's brass fedora that stood out so oddly from the rest of it was missing from its head . Instead , the statues hands were once again no longer on its hips but instead outstretched with its palms facing upwards . In his hands were his trademark brass fedora and within the fedora , lay a gold heart - shaped necklace . I took the necklace and grabbed the heavy brass hat , placing it atop the statue 's head . Then , without being able to help myself , I wrapped my arms around the statue in a tight embrace . And , without feeling the least bit silly I whispered . I now , lay in bed at home . I asked Mom if I could take the statue home with me , which she hesitantly agreed to . I told her it would help me face my fear . The man in the brass fedora now stands guard in my foyer , awaiting any would - be burglars in the night to choose the wrong house . Last night , I had the most vivid dream I 've ever had . I dreamt of my wife 's beautiful face , the sunlight dancing in her golden blonde hair . I saw how her deep blue eyes shined like sapphires in the light . I saw her smile at me in a way that said ' I love you ' , and it filled me with joy . Then I dreamt of my son , I sat by my wife as we watched our son play in the baseball game that he won last week . I watched as he walked up to bat at home plate . Then I cheered as my son ; my pride and joy , hit the winning homerun and my heart was filled with pride . He ran to me after the game , and hugged me tight asking , " Did you see Daddy , did you see what I did ? " Then , finally , the dream transitioned into last year on the day of my daughter 's wedding . I waited next to my wife and son , as my daughter Andria was walking down the aisle . She had her mother 's beautiful blonde hair , and my brown eyes . She looked so radiant in her white dress , walking down that aisle as music played on . Her soon to be husband ; Dan , waved at me from his spot next to the alter and I gave him the thumbs up and the biggest smile I could muster . I turned to look at my daughter , and she stopped at the pew I was sitting at . Andria smiled at me a smile that she also received from her mother , and she said to me " Don 't I look beautiful Daddy ? " . I woke up screaming in the dark of my bedroom and I heard my wife stir in her sleep . " What 's wrong dear ? " , came her voice next to me . " Nothing dear " , I said as sweat dripped from my forehead , " Just a silly nightmare " . I sat up in bed and covered my face and eyes with my hands as I heard my wife move to turn on the bedside lamp . " Honey don 't bother , really " I said as I outstretched my right hand to pat her back and reassure her , " it was just a silly nightmare just go back to sleep I 'm sorry I woke you . " She moved over to me in the bed , and kissed my cheek . " Okay honey , but you 're worrying me , this isn 't the first time you 've had a bad night , can you at least tell me what the dream is about ? " I shook my head , " It 's nothing babe , promise , just a silly dream " . I didn 't tell my wife what 'd I 'd been having nightmares about because I didn 't want to worry her . She 's always worried about me ; I don 't want to add to her stress . She gave me another kiss on my cheek and told me good night and I told her sweet dreams . I am so lucky to have her in my life , and I am so glad she didn 't leave me when it happened . I know it sounds silly , but that was my biggest worry five years ago , when diabetes took my sight .