I am very proud of myself tonight . Akila had a really good morning , no issues , no rages , no name - calling , it was a rare morning . Akila started playing with a few of her dolls yesterday and she really gets into this sometimes . The dolls are real and we all have to treat them accordingly or she will go nuts . So , as she was leaving , she was handing me her doll to care for during the day . When she does this , I have to be very careful to handle the doll with care or I get yelled at to support her neck , etc . I was very loving to the doll . Akila told me where to set her down after she left . She asked if I was going anywhere and I said I was going grocery shopping . She asked me to take the doll with , but to be sure to use her car seat . I assured her that I would . During the day , I came across a bib and brought it and put it on the doll . When Akila got home , she noticed immediately . I told her that when I was feeding her she was getting messy so I put a bib on her . She loved it . She was so proud of me and so thankful that I took good care of her baby . She then went in the basement , got the real high chair out , and played really nicely with dolls for quite awhile . I came into the kitchen and found her running the microwave . She had a bottle with water that she was warming up for the baby . She had even taken the nipple off . Makes me think that she might be able to be a good mom some day . Well , that is until the child started to talk and assert their will . She would then explode and lose her temper . Worse than I do . But I didn 't have to today . Today was a good day . Some of you may remember my post from April when my friend Bernard died . I went to a meeting at the NYLC where I use to work yesterday , to help plan a fundraiser for Bernard 's four kids . I wanted to put a little bit of information here for those of you who are local and could possibly attend . Please attend , whether you knew him or not . I would love to see you all . It will be on Saturday , October 25 from 5 - 10 pm in St . Paul by the State Fairgrounds . There is going to be various musical entertainment and a variety of food offered , mainly desserts and appetizers . The suggested donation for entry will be $ 10 , and the food will be for sale as well . More info to come on the details . Bernard 's oldest child , Geoffrey is 20 years old and a sophomore at Augsburg College . He has moved back home and is taking guardianship of two of his sisters who are in 8th and 10th grade . His other sister is 18 and a freshman at the University of Minnesota . I met last night with Geoffrey , and am amazed at all that he has had to take on . We met at 9 : 30 , after he had gotten home from his 10th grade sister 's volleyball game . He is having to work with a lawyer to get the kids names on the title of the house , having to turn in his dad 's vehicle next month which is leased , trying to buy a car this weekend , trying to provide healthy meals , and the list goes on . I can 't imagine having to do all of this at the age of 20 , he just turned 20 . I am organizing a group of people who will be delivering groceries / meals to the kids on a regular basis as well . If you 're interested in helping with this , email me . If you 'd like to attend the fundraiser , email me as well . I am still in a deep cleaning mode , have been for 4 weeks now , you would think my house would be spotless . I was cleaning out our family room where all the toys are yesterday . It took all day . I found a notebook with the above entry from Akila . I crossed out the boys name . - It makes me sad . You might think that it makes me sad because she wants to have a baby so much when she grows up and more than likely won 't be able to due to her Turner Syndrome . No , I feel like this is a blessing , she should never have children . That does make me sad I guess , but I know it would not be good for her or for a child for her to be parenting . - Obviously it makes me sad how obsessed she is with sex . Many parents or professionals would say that it is normal to have an entry like this , that kids are curious at this age about sex and all that gobbley gook . It is not normal , I guarantee it . If this was an isolated incident , or something that rarely happens and I could use it as a spring board for a deep discussion , that would be more normal . No , trust me , Akila has a very unhealthy obsession with sex . And it is going to break my heart over and over for the rest of my life . This I know . On Saturday , Michael took Imani , Zeke and Hezekiah to the Farmer 's Market and on a bunch of errands . Akila and I put together a dresser for her room that I bought at Ikea . It was so much fun , which is something I never thought I would say after putting something together from Ikea ( what a pain ! ) . Akila loved putting it together , using the tools , reading the directions ( which are all pictures ) , and working with mom . She was on a high and so was I . It probably took 2 hours to do , and she and I were both patient and pleasant . About half way through , as I was revelling in how well it was going , I realized that I was benefiting partly from her prime time after she has taken her meds , but hey , I 'll take it . We were trying to find a neighbor who could come and take a picture of us working together , but had no luck . So I took several pictures of her and she took some of me ( which I will not post ) , and it was a pretty good day . We had a pretty good weekend , which ended with her getting her hair braided by an old student of mine . She loves to get her hair done , and is usually pretty good on these days , thank goodness . Wow , the entire morning is going fine , and then the last 5 minutes as we get ready to go to the bus stop , everything melts down and I am completely annoyed . Akila was pretty good all morning , then as the kids are putting on shoes and coats , we had an issue . She wanted to wear a pair of high heel shoes that the girls use to play with dress up . They are real shoes , not the little girl fake high heels . I tell her that she needs to wear her tennis shoes and she immediately looses it . Starts kicking and name calling . I tell her that she can wear them to dance class tonight , but can 't wear shoes like this to school . Well no matter , she is totally gone and replaced with a manic Akila . I manage to get her tennis shoes on her , but it wasn 't pretty . She called me every name in the book and as she was going out the door , she slammed the screen door intentionally against the railing , kicked the door quite hard , while calling names . I followed her ( in a non - intimidating manner ) out the door and she threw her book bag at me . I picked it up and followed her to the bus stop , all the while being called names . I calmly told her she would have a consequence when she got home for this poor behavior , which made her spew more hateful language . The bus came , I almost kissed the bus driver . I am now going to spend some time in the Word and pray for peace and that the Lord would help me to not let 5 minutes ruin my day . I don 't think it will . Well , I should have knocked on wood or something from my post earlier today . Akila did not come home on the bus today . I wonder why I get migraines . The 3 kids came running off the bus to tell me that Akila did not ride it home . My kids go to a school in downtown Minneapolis which buses kids from all over Minneapolis , and 10 west metro suburbs . Fun . I went inside and called the school to see if they could help me track her down . While on hold as they were calling the bus company , my other line rang and it was a cell phone number . I answered it and it was Akila at a girls house over in South Mpls , we live North . Her mom got on the phone and told me her address . We were going to dance after school today , but Michael was home early so I left the other three with him , went and got Akila and went straight to dance . I can 't tell you how mad I was . I couldn 't even talk to her about it as we were driving to dance I was so mad . She knew it too . After dance , Michael talked with her , gave her the punishment that she cannot leave our yard for the next week , and if she does , we will take away her beloved bear for two days so she can understand how sad and scared we were without her when she did not come home after school . Way to go dad , a pretty good consequence I thought . With one of my other kids , I think they might make the connection , not sure Akila will , but still a good one . The challenge to it , is that she is obsessed with this bear and has a horrific time winding down and going to bed without it . And I can practically guarantee that she will leave our yard in the next week , not intentionally , but will forget that this is her punishment . I will work really hard to remind her of this rule for the next week , I don 't want her to lose the bear . A funny note , as I was eating some crackers tonight , I couldn 't figure out why my tongue seemed like I had burned it on coffee or soup . I was trying to think of what I had consumed in the last day or so that would have burnt my tongue . Then I started laughing when I remembered the cayePosted by I forgot to write about a job that I still can 't believe I turned down . I use to work with a guy named Peter who I have remained friends with and loved working with . We worked together in the Bloomington Schools and also when he directed Camp Icaghowan , a YMCA camp that I use to use for some of my youth programs . He now works at a charter high school in Coon Rapids as a teacher . He called me the first week of school wondering if I might want to work there 4 afternoons a week doing youth development kind of stuff with the students . I went last week and met with the Director , Peter 's friend whom I have met before and like . I told him I didn 't want to work 4 days a week as I am trying to re - energize , get organized and do a million other things now that all 4 of my kids are in school . He said two days a week would be fine , he would be totally flexible , it sounded perfect . I love the school , I know and like at least 4 staff already , it is a school year schedule , everything I needed . I would have plenty of time to get home in time for the kids , it would just be 11 : 30 - 2 twice a week , more if I wanted . I thought about it for a week , went back and forth , thought I was going to accept and then realized the timing just is not right . I have been too excited about having some time to get organized , time to clean , time to cook , time to try to be more creative in my approaches to Akila , etc . I think if this opportunity came up next school year , or even in January , after I have had some time , the decision would have been much easier . I just can 't believe I turned it down . It was a perfect fit . Just not the perfect time . I am on day two of a migraine . Ugh . I have gotten these stinkers for years , and a little over a year ago they started to sometimes last over a day . It use to be that I would wake up with a migraine , a few hours later start vomiting , empty my stomach out , sleep an hour or two and then it would be gone , usually by dinner ( sometimes if they started in the afternoon , they would be gone by bedtime ) . Now , they sometimes last more than a day . I have not been able to get rid of this one , I am getting close and it is gone enough that I can use the computer . After the kids left for school , which was not fun , I drank some water with a couple teaspoons full of cayenne pepper and laid down . I read on the Internet that this can trick your brain into sending something or other for the pain , or something like that . It actually seemed to help and the majority of the pain went away , it is just kind of in the back of my head now . I then went to the health club , sat in the hot tub and took a shower . That helped as well . Thankfully , last night is when Angie was taking Akila out for their bi - weekly outing . My other three went to my friend DeDe 's and I was very relieved . Then there was this morning . What is amazing to me , is that the majority of the morning can go very well , and then the last 10 minutes are when we hit meltdown phase . When it was time to go to the bus , Akila comes downstairs with her old backpack full of stuff . When I asked her what was in it , she said with great attitude , " none of your beeswax . " My first instinct was to smack her across the face , which I of course did not do , but the migraine was making it harder to resist , honestly . As I was trying to check out what was in her backpack , she ran to the family room door and kicked it . This is a french door like we have on our bedroom door , the one that she kicked and broke the glass on when we were on vacation . Thankfully , it did not break , but it made me break . I started yelling and lost it . Long story short , I finally got her off to the bus stop . I followed slowly behindPosted by Today was the tenth day of school , not that I 'm counting down to summer ! But Akila has a new thing this year she is trying out . She comes home every day wanting to know where we are going . And most of the time the answer is no where , and she does not like this answer . She especially did not like this answer today , so she decided she was going to run away . I have a hard time knowing how to respond to this one . She doesn 't do it too often , I would say every few months , usually . She packed up her bag , got her dolls , needed a target bag for her winter coat in case she got cold ( who said FASD kids can 't plan ahead ? ) and was ready to go . I told her I didn 't want her to go and that I would miss her too much . She left . I watched her from a hidden window , as she rounded the corner into North Mpls . I sighed . I followed her to the corner behind our block , which is not a place she should be alone . She did not want to come back home , or so she said . I actually did have a hard time getting her home . The entire way home , which we had to stop many times to talk and fuss , I heard about how she hated our family , didn 't want to be in our family any more , because I always say no . And she never gets to go anywhere ( so not true ) . As we were getting close to our house , she decided she wanted to live with someone else on our block . I said good luck finding someone . She came in the house and wanted to change her name . I asked her what name she would choose . She said Kiera . I said that was a pretty name and asked her if she would write it down for me so I could see how it was spelled . Then I asked her if she would write it on her homework sheet and turn it into a creative writing assignment . I asked her to write what type of a family she would like to live in and how she was feeling . It worked for a few minutes of distraction , then she came right back to wanting to leave . And she wanted to change her name officially . I told her it was too expensive and she would have to wait until she was an adult and could pay for it on her own . She decidePosted by Akila got up at 3 : 15 this morning , and never went back to bed . I 'm tired . The kids are tired . Michael is tired . It is amazing how one child can affect the entire family . She has been sleeping pretty well since we switched her off of the Dexedrine to Ritalin . This was happening fairly regularly last spring before the switch . I knew this was coming . Out of the blue , last night at bedtime , she announced that if she woke up in the middle of the night , she was going to come down to the family room to play . I said no , that would not work , and that if she woke up , to lay in bed until she fell back asleep . She argued with me and started to rage , and that was that . So 3 : 15 , she comes sauntering into my room wide awake . There is no putting her back to bed when this happens , believe me , I have tried . If I make her go to her room , I am guaranteed to have all 4 kids awake in less than 30 minutes . I have even tried during several of these occasions , to lie down with her in her room , or have her come into our bed ( which I hate doing ) . Doesn 't work . So , she came to the family room , and woke me up all night , or should I say morning ? , about every 15 minutes with things like this : There is a giant centipede with a pointy backWill you make me some pancakesIs it a school day ? Do you know where the DVD remote is ? It is raining ( she woke up before the rain and thunder started ) Is it a school day ? ( again ) Can you come help me ? I need a band - aid ( which she can get herself at anytime ) I think around 6 : 30 , is when she woke up the other 3 kids for sure . It sounds like she had tried a few times before that . When I got up , they were all 4 in Akila 's room watching a movie on the mini DVD player ( which Akila had gotten out of our room while we slept ) . She also had my cell phone , and had been in my purse and gotten gum . Lovely . It was not a very fun morning , and I tried to be patient . Hezekiah spilled his juice all over in the dining room and I didn 't react very well . I didn 't yell psychotically like I wanted to do , I just chastised him for not telling mPosted by So , after 5 days of school , I am fed up with homework - and we hardly have any . I am of course talking about homework with Akila . In her first homework packet , which came home on Friday , there is just a list of spelling words , and a reading log in which she has to write about her reading twice a week . I sat down with her to do this on Sunday , and it was not fun . Monday night was even worse . During dinner , I told her we were going to do homework after we finished cleaning up dinner , and told her she could have some time to play first . Michael did homework with Imani and Hezekiah first , as it does not work to have Akila working on homework at the same time as the other kids . I came down to get her when it was her turn , and she started to rage . We went round and round awhile . I explained to her that if she didn 't sit down to do homework with me , that she would have to go to her room for the rest of the night . This enraged her even more . I told her she could choose a book to read , she could read it to me , or not , I would sit with her , I would read my own book , etc . Nothing was appealing to her . She just sat or stood there and threw stuff and called me names . I remained really calm , on the outside . After much monkey business , she finally sat down with a book , at least 30 minutes after this fiasco started . Then , she wasn 't really reading , but just flipping through the pages . We also have issues over where she would like to do her homework . Our dining room table is not the most ideal , the table is a bit shaky , no matter how much we have tried to stabilize it . I have been begging for a new table for awhile now , maybe for my 40th birthday coming up next month . Or not . Akila has a desk in her bedroom , she doesn 't like doing it in there either . I sometimes make a homemade desk with a stool and a little chair we have , and put it in whatever room is interesting to her . The things I do for her , sometimes drive me nuts . I fell like I 'm always having to bend over backwards , because I guess I am . Ridiculous . Anyway , she sometimes liPosted by I guess I 'm going to do 3 posts a day now , trying to catch up . This is a quick one . I have spent the last few days deep cleaning the kids bedrooms . I did Akila 's room on Tuesday , the boys yesterday and Imani 's today . Imani has a chalk board in her room that all the kids like to write on from time to time . Today , I found this message from Akila : If you can 't read it , it says " I want to go to stay at my birth mom 's . Akila " . I know that I will probably be hearing a lot of these kind of lines from her in the upcoming years . I 'm sure she wrote it last week one day when she was furious with me and was saying that over and over . Then she came downstairs and wanted to do enough chores to earn $ 600 . I had told her a long while ago that plane tickets cost at least $ 600 . Pretty sure she had some plans . She of course didn 't do enough chores to earn fifty cents , but she got a little bit done . Last night , while we were eating supper , Zeke asked if they could go to bed right after dinner so kindergarten day would get here sooner . I thought it was a great idea , but none of the other kids did . He was super excited for school to start today . I forgot to give the boys their asthma meds and I went in their room to give it to them , less than 5 minutes after I tucked them in , and he was sleeping already . What a cutie . He got up this morning , and was ready to go in 5 minutes . I drove the kids to school so I could see Zeke and wow , I can 't explain how adorable he was . He by far was my most excited kid to start kindergarten . None of my 4 kids were nervous , scared or apprehensive on their first day ( or any others ) . None of them clung to me or cried . But none of them were as excited as Zeke . What a doll ! ! ! That is what I always call him , he doesn 't like it . Here are a few pictures of him . Did I mention that I think this was the most excited I was to have a kid start kindergarten ? I got my first ever pedicure , and a haircut today , and I didn 't have to pay a babysitter . Wahoo ! ! Last week , we started giving Akila the daily injection of a growth hormone ( to help her grow due to her Turner Syndrome ) . It is going really well . It helps that she is a goofball and absolutely loves shots . We have a difficult time getting her to brush her teeth each night but it has been going well this last week . I am bribing her . She can 't get her shot until she brushes her teeth . She flies up the stairs to brush her teeth . I know , that sounds really weird , I think so also . Here are some pictures of her getting her shot , she wanted us to take pictures last night . Oh yeah , look at her hair , I did it ! ! ! Our neighbor was suppose to do it on Sunday evening and she no - showed . This almost killed me as Akila was antsy all day and when she did not come home , I had to do it . And it was late by that time . This was my first attempt at extensions and it isn 't too bad . : ) On the last day of summer , otherwise known as Labor Day , I took the kids to swim at Lake Harriet . This is Imani 's lake ( my kids middle names are after Mpls . lakes ) and the last one we needed to hit before summer is over . Zeke 's buddy Jonah went with and we had a good time . Hezekiah found a baby turtle at some point and we put it in a bucket to play with for a bit . I told them this would be OK , but that we would not be taking it home . I 'm sure it would have been dead within a day at our house . Well , what fun it was . Akila couldn 't stand it . She was completely out of whack as she thought we should release it immediately so it wouldn 't die ( can you tell we have unintentionally killed a few of God 's creatures this summer ? ) . The entire time it was in the bucket while the 5 kids watched it , she was losing it . I could not get her to calm down about it , she wanted it gone . I was in a bit of a quandary as I wanted her to settle down and I knew it would not happen until the turtle was free , but I couldn 't do that to the other kids . Let me just say that time was going very slowly and I could not wait to free the turtle from it 's misery ( or should I say mine ) . Here are a couple of pictures of the kiddos and the turtle , they named spikey . Isn 't my Hezekiah handsome ! ! One last joyful thing I need to share . The kids were taking baths ( did I mention that is what we all have been doing , since our bathroom with the shower is torn apart , I hate baths ! ) and Imani and Zeke were taking one together ; until Zeke threw up in the bathtub . Poor Imani , I can 't believe that didn 't make her throw up . Did I mention that we had just returned from the Olive Garden ? Anyway , sounds like he just choked on some water Imani poured over his head , but he was pretty freaked out . I don 't think he has really ever thrown up . Here is a cute picture of him 30 minutes later , he was very upset . I was in Willmar a few weeks ago and stopped by to see the Poss family . Dr . Poss had emailed me that he had found some stilts that we kids had played with in the neighborhood I grew up in and that I could have them . He and I had talked about them when we visited him on the Fourth of July . I stopped by to get them , and he had made two more pair so I came home with three pair of stilts . What memories they bring back ! ! ! Imani especially likes them , but Akila is getting pretty good on them as well . Hezekiah is the type who if he can 't do something right away , he doesn 't want to do it forever , and then he will finally learn . That is how he was with riding a bike . All the neighborhood kids have enjoyed them though , here is a picture of Imani on them . Thanks Dr . Poss , we love them ! ! School started today , I wish you could all see the smile on my face right now . Zeke , my youngest , will start kindergarten on Thursday , so I have one more day to spend with him and then I will be alone . Last night , we went out to the Olive Garden for dinner . Out of the blue , Zeke started talking about how lonely mom is going to be and how she hates being alone in the house . I kept having him repeat it as it seemed so ludicrous to me . I have never said that and I never would . Don 't get me wrong , there is a part of me that is always a bit sad to see them go off to kindergarten , but it is a very small part of me . Most people know that I have been counting down the days til school started . Aaahhh . I made it , and we are all alive . The morning went really well , Akila in particular was quite excited to go to school , today at least . I pray that will continue as long as possible . Here is a picture of the three of them on their first day : Zeke and I got a lot done today and went out for lunch . We got a new backpack for him which he is thoroughly excited about . I took advantage of the kids being gone and went through Akila 's room which I have not really done all summer . I usually do this once a month or so , but I can 't do it when she is home , it never works . We don 't keep any toys in her room , but I found a lot ! ! And many other treasures . Ugh . Zeke helped me and he was adorable , wearing his new backpack while he vacuumed . What a cutie ! ! Notice the walls in Akila 's room ? When we switched rooms last fall due to trying to give Akila her own room , she moved into the boys old room which had dark blue wall paper ( from previous owners ) . I told her all year we would peal it in the summer . Here is how far we got : Actually , we did one other wall which does not have much space , there are two doors on it . I have peeled wall paper in many rooms , and this junk is the hardest ! ! ! I think they used super glue . I 'm not sure what I was thinking that we could get a project done in the summer . It is my new fall project , for after I get the house cauPosted by My name is Barb and I am a teenager at heart who is married to Michael , an Accountant . We have 4 adopted children , Akila - 12 , Imani - 11 , Hezekiah - 10 and Zeke - 9 . I am a youth worker by profession but currently staying home attempting to manage our household . My hope for this blog is that it will help me to avoid cleaning my house ( I actually don 't need help with avoiding housework ) and give me some serenity ( I do need help with this ) . My oldest child , Akila , has Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder ( FASD ) and that is what I will focus on in this blog . Here are a few books that I found helpful on FASD . I also put the link for the lockbox that we have liked the most for locking stuff up . We have one with meds in it , one with knives and scissors . I like that it is electronic and I don 't have to use a key . Each of my kids has their own as well .