This is the journal of Max Wagner . While fighting to survive , Max journalizes his new life in Zombieville . Learn about how the world became overrun by these zombies , what Max is going through to survive , stories from people he met along the way , and his former life . The journal will be tweeted piece - by - piece on Twitter first . Follow twitter name ddnzombieville to be the first to read the journal . The journal will be posted here sometime afterwards for easier reading , or for you to catch up . Wow , last night one of the hunters gave this huge speech about the New Year , and how things need to change . This sparked a crazy argument about what the hunters want to do next . Everyone had an opinion . Some thought everything was good , and were fine staying . Others were talking about a need to move on . They mentioned how they had to go further and further out to find food and supplies . They need to make a decision before they use up all the gas that they have found . Then there is the question about where to go . The people that want to leave all have their own ideas on where they want to go . Things got so heated that they sent us gatherers away . I guess they didn 't want us to see any weakness in them . It is a hard decision . Whenever I had to make the call , it was always to leave . Some places were great to stay at , but eventually all your resources run out , and the zombies catch up to you . It will become harder to stay here , but I think they will decide to stay for now . What a way to ring in the New Year ! Guess there is still some tension out there because they didn 't let us leave our houses today except for a quick bite to eat . Things were quiet out there . I watched out the window from time to time , but there was not a lot of action going on . The ones that guarded gatherers just guarded . The ones that patrolled the grounds just patrolled . The rest of them just did their own thing . Looks like a lot of thinking was going on . I wonder what Joe thinks . I think he likes the arrangements enough to want to stay . On the other hand , he is smart enough to know that we can 't stay here forever . It depends how much hope you have . If this craziness ends tomorrow , then we are fine . If this madness goes on for a year , even months , it will become harder to stay . Where would we go ? Would we all go ? Would we all go together or separate ? How would they decide who gets what ? Could we move everything that we would need to survive ? Actually , they would have to take us gathers . Who else would pack all this shit up ? Who else would do all the heavy lifting ? Jan . 4 , 2020 I guess they had some of the same questions I did because last night they had a meeting of the minds . They probably had to let everything get out into the open . They are smart , they have to have an open discussion about this before it divides them . I have no idea what they decided . Again , we just got to eat , and then returned to the houses . It is almost like we are on vacation . A paid holiday . It is their decision . The gatherers aren 't going to get a say . Oh well ! Jan 10 , 2020 It has been almost a week now , and I guess the decision is to stay for now . Vacation is over . We are back to work as usual , but I know something is still going on that I don 't know about . The hunters aren 't in their same frame of mind . I noticed some of them are not talking with each other , or at least less than usual . Feeding time as been quiet . Joe hasn 't told me much besides that they really haven 't decided . I told him I know it is a hard decision , but I am sure they will make the right one . I also told him I am still looking forward to going hunting , and he looked at me funny . I guess any thoughts of leaving the grounds for any reason is a touchy subject . Things will get interesting when supplies get low , which should be soon . It has been almost a month since the last supply run . My bet is anyone who supported leaving will not go . I wish I knew howHoly shit ! A gunshot just went off , and I ran outside to see what was happening . As soon as I got outside I heard all this yelling , and screaming . I didn 't get too far before they started yelling to get all the gatherers back inside the houses . My asshole guard took a good whack at me because he thought I was moving too slow . I just looked outside the window , and there still is a bunch of chaos going on . I can 't really hear anything . I wonder if this has anything to do with this whole leaving or staying situation . Maybe it was a zombie , but I doubt it . There would have been more shots for sure . Never a dull moment around here lately . So gatherer Chuck got to close to the hunter 's beloved woman . Details were few , but apparently the hunters didn 't like what they saw so they shot him on spot . Couldn 't have been good . All gatherers are told from the beginning to stay away from the 2 women . Maybe he wanted a way out of this world , and knew they would kill him . How he got to her I don 't know . They are usually pretty good of at least keeping her away from us gatherers . Joe said that this couldn 't have come at a worse time because tension is already high . They sat all the gatherers down and made sure we all knew the rules again . They didn 't say death was your punishment , but I think most of us got the point . I think this community is cracking . Jan . 16 , 2020 One of the other gathers told me that curiosity got the best of Chuck . He had always wanted to know more about the forbidden girl . They said he was going a little crazy anyway . I don 't blame him , it is pretty easy to go crazy around here . Still no one is sure what exactly he did before getting shot to death . Joe has told me a lot of things , but he refuses to talk about this . I think he knows the party is over . I can see the worry in him . Things were good for the hunters for a while , but change is coming . One thing I have learned all this time is to expect the unexpected . Oh it is good to be back writing , and thinking freely . Hell to be free again . I wasn 't having any of that waiting on the hunters day and night shit . Knocking me out , and treating me like crap wasn 't going to get my loyalty . Thought I was stupid too , but I quickly figured them out . At first , I really thought they let me keep the journal because they didn 't care , or need it . Turned out they let me keep it to keep track of what I was thinking . Not surprising , they were always so paranoid . It wasn 't long before I figured out someone was reading my journal . I think they did it mostly at feeding time , and I think it was my asshole guard too . After leading me to the feeding place , he would always quickly disappear , and soon came back like he was in a hurry . Stupid bastard wasn 't a good actor . And maybe it would have been nice if someone told him that if you pick up something that you aren 't suppose to touch , you should put it back the same way you found it . So I wasn 't sure what my plan would be at first , but I decided to start writing more positive things about them . I thought the quickest way to show them I was on their side was to join the zombie - bashing club . Then I had to find a specific person who would trust me enough for me to get a little information from , and so that I could plant ideas in their heads . I actually feel a little , just a little sorry for Joe Malone . He wasn 't the worst of the bunch . He had an honest reason for hating the zombies so much . He saw them kill his wife , turn his little girl into a zombie , and then watch his best friend have to shoot her . Sorry again Joe . Back to the point . So I wrote that I wanted to hunt with them . To show I wanted to be one of them . I tried to be a good little gatherer . Did what they said , and caused no problems . Actually , I got lucky when they started fighting about leaving , and then luckier when poor Chuck basically killed himself . I kind of had the plan , but I just needed the right moment . Plus , it was an experiment that I wasn 't sure would work . Mar . 4 , 2020 I drove as far as that car would take me , and then I found the next , and the next , and the next . I don 't think anyone followed me . It was like I broke out of jail . I tried to take a route that they hadn 't gone down , but I knew I wasn 't safe until I found areas that weren 't cleaned out . I finally found some stuff to eat and drink , and get me on the way . I have no idea what I left behind . If anyone survived , I 'm sure they would hunt me down just like they hunted those zombies . I can 't look back now , I just have to move forward or everything I did will be for nothing . I wish I knew what was going on out there in the world . Radios and TVs don 't work . Phones neither . I try when I find them , but no luck . The last time I saw TV was a news piece at a hospital . It started off well , but then went horribly wrong . The reporter was interviewing a guy in bed when all of the sudden a guy came flying out from the curtain behind them , and jumped on the guy . He started biting and clawing at him . The reporter tried to be brave and jump in there to save him , but that was a mistake . The reporter got thrown off the bed , and he slammed his head against the side of the table . Probably broke his neck . What I never understood was why the cameraman kept shooting . Or why they kept showing the craziness . They didn 't stop until the zombie apparently took out the cameraman . The last thing I saw was a view from the camera on the floor shooting the feet of the zombie running into the hallway . I heard one last scream , but they went back to the studio . Wow , those were two stunned newscasters . For once , they didn 't know what to say . Like me sometimes . Being all alone . Sometimes there is nothing to say . I just stare at the wall , at the sky , or into the distance . Nothing to say , do , or think . Sometimes nothing to even write about . I just stare at the page . Or sometimes I just try not to think about all the horrible things that have happened . Finally back to a city . Glad I got past all those damn little towns . I don 't know what is crazier , dealing with zombies or those insane hunters . Hopefully that will remain a thing of the past . Now I need to find out how safe it is here . So far my experiences have told me that big cities equal lots of zombies . There are usually people hiding somewhere too . I am realizing that the longer the world remains like this , the more desperate people are becoming . I guess supplies and food are starting to disappear , or people are just getting anxious about it . Maybe I can make a home here for at least a little while . I am not sure if I should go back to trying to stay in one place as long as possible , or just keep moving . I guess I will just see what this city tells me to do . Mar . 13 , 2020 No home yet . Dangerously staying in stores . Roaming streets . I can feel eyes watching me as I walk around . I am taking it slow . I don 't want to fall victim to any more crazy people . No zombie sightings yet , but I am getting that feeling again . It is only a matter of time . There are people around , and they are staying hidden for a reason . Back on the look out now . Mar . 14 , 2020 Scored some loot today . Found old cereal as usual . Nasty old chips which will cause more stomach problems than usual . Plenty of soda . Guess people couldn 't drink warm soda . You can 't really be too picky . Got to eat . Saw some people today . Went up to this building 's door and tried to open it . They freaked out and started yelling . Once they realized I wasn 't a zombie , the craziness turned to anger . They cursed at me , and told me to get lost . They weren 't taking in any more strays . Think someone pulled a gun too , but I wasn 't going to stick around to find out . I have had enough of guns to last a lifetime . Still feel eyes watching me . I guess they aren 't so friendly around here either . What ever happened to people helping people ? Oh well , I 'm one to talk . I am happy to be by myself for now . Just me and my journal . It finally happened . A zombie attack . Thankfully not on me , but I was a lot closer than I wanted to be . I just woke up from a nap when I heard some screams . Nights are always more dangerous than days . I was lucky not to get caught napping . I crawled over to the window and looked out . This apartment building was raided by zombies . They apparently went through the windows . The screams were horrible . A couple of people made it out , and were being chased of course . One started in my direction , but was tackled before getting here . I got an up close look at the zombies ripping this person apart . I am not sure how they decide when to kill someone , or just wound them leading them to becoming a fellow zombie . Well , this person wasn 't going to be a zombie . They tore his legs off . One of his arms . Just biting and biting into him . Blood was pouring out . Pieces of him scattered all over the place . Not sure why they didn 't pick up my smell . Maybe because I haven 't taken a shower in a long time . Also I was going through the garbage in the morning . Garbage seems to work I guess . The zombies seemed like they got everyone because most of them strolled slowly out after the screams stopped . Not sure if those few others that made it out found safety . The way the people are around here , I doubt anyone helped them . Not that I helped either . I stayed on the look out for the rest of the night . The zombies just kind of roamed around . I am not sure what they were doing . So many of them were covered in blood . Clothes barely still attached to them . Many of them wounded . Probably how they became zombies in the first place . Sometimes you can tell the difference between the people that became zombies from being attacked , and the people that became zombies from the vaccine . I am not sure , but the ones that were attacked seem to be more aggressive . I think I spent all day yesterday on the look out for zombies . I 'm kind of afraid to move from here since that massacre the other day . I don 't know where all those zombies went . As I stared outside , I was thinking about what my world should be like . I should have graduated from college . I should have a job . I should be hitting the bars looking for girls . I should be spending Sunday 's watching football . I should be able to go home and visit the family . I should be able to go to the movies on the weekends with my friends . I should be able to sit down to a nice hot meal . I should be able to take a nice long bath . I should be able to go to the store , and buy some new clothes . I should be able to use the bathroom like a normal person . I should I should I should ! It is so frustrating knowing what should have been . I am writing to note that I am moving on . There is nothing else for me in this store , and I need to go look for more food . I am very concerned about those zombies . I have no clue what is going on out there . There have been many times that I thought the zombies didn 't know I was there only to find out that they were actually following me . I need to move as quickly as possible . Here I go again . Isn 't April 1st April Fools Day ? I wish someone was fooling me right now , and all of this would end . I didn 't get too far . Only a couple of blocks down . I started feeling sick again . The headaches have restarted . Damn do they hurt . It is always from the lack of sleep , and food . I am now in a pet shop , and it smells like shit . It has been a long time since I have seen any animals , but this definitely is not the way you want to see them . There are dead dogs and cats in some of the cages . Unfiltered fish tanks . A dead body decaying in the storage room . To top it off , I forced myself to eat some of the dog food . I had to eat something before my head exploded . I don 't know if it tastes that horrible because it is that bad , or because it is old and stale . No wonder why Jack never wanted to eat . This is no joke , this is a nightmare ! God I miss Jack . I got him when I was about 8 , 9 , maybe 10 . Somewhere around there . Whether it was for my birthday , or Christmas , I always asked for a dog . Mom seemed cool with it . She had several of them when she was growing up . Dad was more hesitate . He wanted to wait until he thought I would be responsible for it . I guess he knew he would end up taking the dog for walks all the time . He was right , but he eventually loved it . He went running with Jack on weekends all the time . I was the happiest kid on the planet when my mom opened the box , and this little black creature started barking . I wanted to name him Pirate , but my mom said I was pushing my luck with that name . So instead I named him Jack after my favorite pirate . I loved kicking the ball around in the backyard , and watching Jack run after it trying to bite it . Then there was tug - of - war with the dog bones . Amazing how aggressive he could be with the bone , but no matter how close I put my hand to his mouth , he never bit me . He wouldn 't harm any of us , but he would fight to the death for us . That is why we couldn 't let him go . My parents knew it would kill me if they put Jack asleep . I know it was a tough decision for many families . I don 't know how they lived with getting rid of their dogs . It is like getting rid of a family member . A lot of people were getting sick , so I guess they did what they had to do . My dad said as long as none of us showed signs of getting sick , we would stick it out . Really sucks for the people that put their dogs to sleep , and then saw that a vaccine came out in only about a year 's time . I am sure those people were pissed . Once the vaccine came out , mom made sure that the entire family got it . Unfortunately , maybe fortunately , I could not get it . Apparently there was something in it that the doctor said I couldn 't have . I think dad still wanted me to get it , but mom said , " If the doc says no , then no . " Too bad the doc didn 't say no for all the vaccines . Mom , dad , and Violet all got the vaccine . I heard that therRain ! Oh how nice it is to see some rain . It has been a while since I have seen any rain . What good timing . This dog food is so dry , and there isn 't much to drink in here . I didn 't want to open the door , but I couldn 't resist . I put some of the dog bowls outside to collect water . I really wanted to go run in the rain and wash off , but I couldn 't risk it . It is hard to see , and hear them coming . Frank made that mistake . We were held up in this house when it started raining . Frank couldn 't help himself . He ran right out into the rain . It was all good for a while . So good that others were about to join him when all of the sudden he was gone . He never saw them coming . I don 't think anyone even heard a scream . That started a zombie frenzy . I guess they knew we were around there somewhere , but the rain was making it hard for them to find us . I don 't remember how we got out of there . I know it wasn 't until it stopped raining because I don 't remember running through the rain . Better off that I don 't remember . Too many bad memories already . This pet shop will be a bad memory for sure . April 6 , 2020 Fucking zombies . Scared the shit out of me . Minding my own business looking for some birdseed to eat when they came running by . Probably chasing someone . I froze in that spot for probably an hour staring at the windows . I have the door secured , but they could come through the windows at anytime . Finally got the courage up to look outside . Thankfully no sign of them . This city obviously has too many zombies around . I need to get out of here . Time for a plan . Nothing complicated about this plan . Get the hell out of dodge . I am still not feeling that great , but I am not staying here . Too many weird things going on . I am making progress . In another store , but closer to getting out of this business district , and into a residential area . I can 't find a car anywhere . Looks like a lot of people already got out of dodge . Sitting here , I 'm looking around . I wonder how long this store was open ? They couldn 't have sold that much . Who the hell buys all these souvenirs ? All this stuff with visit this state , visit that state . Go USA ! There is no more USA . They would have been better off selling stuff with the United States of Zombies . Or United Zombie Nation . Even better Welcome to Zombieville ! This may be the last thing you ever read ! Too bad the zombies can 't buy anything . Maybe Finally found a dam map . This place wasn 't as useless as I thought . April 10 , 2020 Got a map , but it would be more helpful if I knew where the hell I was . I think I found the general area . Never had a sense of direction . Now I can figure out where I 'm going to go . Hopefully to a zombie free zone . I wrote Zombieville at the top of the map so that way I won 't forget where I 'm really at . Grabbed more pens , and an extra map or 2 , and I 'm ready to move again . April 25 , 2020 On the road to Oklahoma . What a struggle . Zombies didn 't make it easy . They were all over the place . It was a game of hide and seek . A few got too close for comfort , but I was able to get away . One of them must have been a football player because it surprised the shit out of me , and tackled me . Usually I have some type of weapon with me , but not this time . It was just one on one . Until I pulled out one of my pens that was in my pocket instead of inside my bag . I was able to get it out , and stab that creature . The only place I could hit it was in the side of the head . Ended up barely pinning his earlobe to his head . Note - lucky to have the pen , but doesn 't make the best weapon . It did faze him enough to knock him off of me . Their skin is nasty . It almost melts off of them and onto you when you hit them . It was really hard struggling with it , and not swallowing any of the nastiness that was dripping off of it . Anyway I got to my feet , and then picked up a chair . I whacked him in the head , and then kicked him through the sliding glass door . Then I decided what a better time then now to run a little experiment . I hit him again with the chair , and used it to shove him into the dark pool . Sink or drown ? It actually was doing a good doggy paddle like Jack used to do , but it never made it to the shallow end . And I thought the pool was nasty before the zombie fell in it . I usually stand by the theory that it is better to run away when I get the chance , but I thought it might come in handy to know if they can swim . So if I die , and you are reading this right now , try pushing them into water . I know it was just one of them , but maybe it will work on others . So back to the point . After that encounter , I moved down a few houses , and found this really old Expedition . Most people stopped using anything that wasn 't a hybrid after gas got too expensive . These owners stopped using it because they were dead . Apparently they were about to leave , but the zombies got to them first . A guy , or the left overs of a guy , was all arouMay 7 , 2020 Just had enough gas to get into Oklahoma . It was a walk from there . I felt like a camel dragging along a couple of those bags . It was a scary walk because it was nothing but road and fields . Nowhere to hide . As usual didn 't sleep much . I stopped at the first house I found . I approached with caution . Before I got up to the house , what did I find ? The owner sitting in the field . It was odd , but he was actually working like nothing was going on . I tried talking to him , but he has turned out not to be much of a talker . He didn 't object to me staying with him as long as I did most of the work . I guess he was tired of maintaining the farm by himself for so long . That 's ok . As long as he doesn 't think I am a slave . Not going through that again . So I have unpacked some of those bags , and made myself comfortable . I am going to keep an eye on my new friend though . Hopefully we can work together . Now that I have Mr . Crowley to talk to , I don 't feel the need to write as much . He is cool , but quiet . So far so good . Lots of work to keep us busy . Still alive . May 24 , 2020 I can 't resist any longer . That feeling of not having to write didn 't last long . Didn 't realize how attached I am to the journal . Plus , I had to get away from Crowley today . Sometimes he 's so quiet it creeps me out . He likes watching me work a lot too . Not sure what that is all about . At least he doesn 't give me orders . I didn 't realize a farm could produce so many peanuts . That seems to be the biggest thing Crowley has been growing . And they seem to last long too . I wish I could figure out how to make some peanut butter . It has been a steady diet of peanuts . I just keep going through all these bags of them . Some are still ok while others are bad . Not sure how long they have been here . There are some other trees but they are all dead , and Crowley doesn 't seem interested in messing with them . I guess they take more work to grow then he wants to deal with . I don 't know . This is the first time I have worked on a farm . Lots of first times happening in my life . Never thought I would be growing peanuts . So much for that college education . Oh well . Well . There is a well here too . The water actually tastes good . Life is not bad for now . Better go check on Crowley . He will stay out in the field forever if you let him . June 1 , 2020 Alive to see another month begin . Unbelievable . No signs of any zombies yet . Just Farmer Max and Farmer Crowley and our peanuts . Finally got Crowley to talk . The more bored we get , the more he seems to talk . Just not when we are working . He takes that seriously . Not that interesting a guy , but a lucky one . He hasn 't been attacked by any zombies . He won 't talk about what happened to the others on the farm . Not sure if they were killed , or just left . Give him credit for staying here alone . Guess he is one of those people that refuse to leave home no matter what . I wonder if leaving home was the right thing for me to do . It was to go to college , not running away from zombies . That is still a form of running away . Ran away again after mom 's funeral . Didn 't realize until now I 'm a runner . Run from zombies too . Run , run , run . June 17 , 2020 City to the farm . Farming life is not easy . I always worried how it would be working 9 to 5 at a desk . This is crazy . Working all day in the sun is not for me . Good thing there is water here . Both for the plants and me . It is so quiet out here . Quiet in the city too but it 's a different quiet . All the work has me sleeping more than I have in a while . Kind of worries me . I don 't want a sneak attack by zombies while I 'm out cold . Crowley doesn 't sleep much , and is always on the look out . Just not convinced he would warn me of an attack in time . Now that I think of it , I haven 't really prepared us for an attack . I 'm going to do that now before I forget . I knew this day would be coming . Crowley and I had a big fight yesterday . He just doesn 't do enough work around here . Always watching but not working . I don 't know how he survived before I came along . I feel bad because he is older , but like I said before " I am not going to be a slave again ! " We agreed or I decided that for now on we farm what ever we are going to eat . I have my side and he has his . Obviously he has more experience than I do , but I will just have to do the best I can . I have already learned a lot . This kind of reminds me of one of my college roommates . In my freshman year , it actually worked out all right . The next year was a battle . John Murphy Love . I had no love for him . I don 't think many people did . For someone with love in their name , you would have thought he would have been nicer . Forget that . Complete ass ! Always thought I was using his stuff . Always complained about the TV shows I watched , or music I played . Ha , I even remember when he thought I was wearing his clothes . If being an ass didn 't detour the girls , his clothes did . I don 't even know where you buy clothes that ugly . He was just different . At times I wanted to feel sorry for him , but in the end he was just an ass . I can 't believe we actually had to divide the room . Even the frig . It was ridiculous . I couldn 't bring friends back to the room because there wasn 't enough room on my side . I am surprised that we never got into a physical fight . He had a big mouth , but couldn 't back it up . I bet he made a great zombie though . No shot he didn 't become one . It was just an extremely long year . I hope things aren 't going to be that bad with Crowley . Not sure what I would do . You are never going to believe what happened now . I was out in the field with Crowley on his side and me on my side when I heard this commotion going on . At first I just thought it was Crowley , but it was zombies . They were running right in our direction . Before I knew it , I yelled for Crowley to run , and took off . He didn 't follow , and I felt bad leaving him alone , but I was defenseless out in the field . I turned to run so fast that I didn 't notice what the true commotion was about . The zombies weren 't coming after us , they were running from a tornado that was coming up quickly behind them . Finally , something that brought fear to the zombies . I guess it was pure instinct that they knew to run from it . I wish I had more time to enjoy their fear , but I had plenty to fear myself . Thankfully Crowley 's farm has a storm shelter . I usually kept the keys with me , but not on that day . I ran into the house , grabbed the keys and my bag , and ran to the shelter . As I stepped inside I glanced up , and saw the zombies spread out running for their lives . Their lives ? Are they alive ? Regardless , they definitely couldn 't care less about me . I closed the door . Crowley must have been through this before because the door was well secured , and the shelter was stocked with very old food . I had come down there once before mostly out of curiosity . I am glad I had the sense to leave all of the food down there , even if it is hard to eat . There was only a small crack of light coming in , and I curled up in the corner . Seconds later , I could hear the house getting torn apart . Poor Crowley . Both his home , and himself blow away by a tornado . I had never been through anything like that before . We had some close calls with hurricanes back home , but they never reached us . So I 'm sitting here on what was the bathtub wondering what to do next ? Nothing but open field as far as I can see . I could stay here in the shelter a little longer , but it isn 't going to hold me forever . All the crops are gone . Hopefully the tornado got all the zombSo I have begun my journey down the road , or around the road . I never imagined what a mess a tornado could make . There is debris everywhere . Trees , dirt , pieces of homes , and things that couldn 't have been from around here . I stopped to rest by one of the few trees still standing , and then saw something interesting . I looked up in the tree and there was 2 zombies , or the remains of 2 zombies just hanging there . I was right . The tornado tore off most of there skin . There was just enough left to tell they were zombies , but were mostly just bones now . I couldn 't tell , but I don 't think all of their body parts were there . Who knows where they landed ? No sign of Crowley . I feel guilty for leaving him , plus we weren 't exactly at the height of our friendship . Like the others , he is just a memory now . Hopefully the only memory left of him isn 't just in this journal . July 21 , 2020 What a fool I am ! All this time I 'm worried about zombies killing me , but I should worry about killing myself . Maybe it was just because I was tired , but I took a misstep and fell backwards . Hit my head pretty good . I don 't know how long I was out cold . That is terrible . I was an easy picking for the zombies . Thankfully there are still no signs of them . Lost some blood . My head is partly cloudy , which is making writing hard right now . I just wanted to note the head injury in case this is it for me . I didn 't die heroically , by natural causes , or even unnatural causes . I died cause I wasn 't paying attention . Good going ! Still alive , but my head hurts so much that I might feel better being dead . I have no more medicine , not even something strong to drink . This is one of those times when you wish someone were around . They could check out my head . Feels like a good hole . Lost more blood than I thought . I checked my shirt , and it was soaked . No wonder why I passed out . Apparently I am on the road to nowhere . I haven 't seen anything . I don 't know how Crowley lived out here so far from civilization . I have walked past the mess left by the tornado . Rest time now then onward ! Not much to laugh at these days , but I amused myself today . I found this nice strong stick , and have been using it as a walking cane . Suddenly I have become an old man . It is doing the trick . When I get dizzy it helps hold me up . You just have to laugh at yourself sometimes . At this pace , I am going nowhere quickly . I checked my map and still have a lot to go before the next town . Not sure I want to go to town . Need food and supplies , but towns usually mean zombies . I am in no condition to fight them off right now . Still feel like this is the beginning of the end . Aug . 2 , 2020 In the short time I slept last night I had so many nightmares . One was that a zombie found me sleeping . I was watching him watching me sleeping . Does that make sense ? Whatever . He just stood there drooling while looking at the hole in my head . He even got close up , and drooled all over me including on my wound . I guess I am a hard sleeper in my dreams . I don 't know what was stopping him from sinking his teeth into me , but even in my dreams I 'm glad he didn 't attack me . He was probably as hungry as I am now . Another dream started off well . I took Violet to the movies . Then we had ice cream followed by a walk down the boardwalk . That was when it got weird . We just kept walking and walking and walking . There was no end to it . Then you hear them coming . Like an army of them . Just the sound of their feet stomping on the boardwalk , but we couldn 't tell where they were coming from . We started running , but we were going nowhere fast . Then she disappeared . I screamed for her , but nothing . The sound of the zombies charging stopped too . All I could hear was them chewing on something . Of course I feared it was Violet . I fell to my knees and screamed . That was when I woke up for the last time . I haven 't slept since . Aug . 5 , 2020 Look what I 've found a couple of tractors out in this field . Never operated one . Sitting on top of one now . These things are bigger than I imagined . Only one of them will start . I want to ride it , but I 'm not sure about keeping control of it . Also , a little afraid of falling off of it . It is transportation . So that wasn 't a good idea . Apparently all the noise the tractor made attracted the few zombies that there were around here . They came running right at it . I was able to run one of them over . I used my new stick to fend off the others from climbing up on it . One almost bit my leg . It was so close . Another got its leg run over . It fell to the floor and made a terrible sound . I think it then was going to crawl after me . Motivation ! I finally got the tractor to kick into a higher gear , and was able to stay ahead of them . Again motivation ! I don 't know how long they kept chasing me . Every time I looked back , they were there . Finally I looked back and they were gone . I just kept going until this thing finally quit on me . Now I 'm worried because I 'm on foot again , and I know there are zombies out there . Maybe I should have turned around and killed them . That just hasn 't been my strategy though . I am closer to the town now . I think . I hope . Maybe that is where they came from . Not good . Holding up in another store . What 's new ? Apparently this is another small town . I haven 't seen much yet . Kind of just want to rest for a while . This is safer than in some bushes . Yea , I think I 'm going to rest while I can . Aug . 18 , 2020 Nightmares a plenty . I can 't escape them . It 's like when I bumped my head , it jarred lose the madness in my mind . Sometimes I can remember what the dreams were about , and sometimes I just wake up with a bad feeling . In one dream I was watching dogs , lots of dogs . Then those dogs became zombies . The zombies then became dogs . Back and forth . Then they were attacking all these people . Ripping them to pieces . One second it was a dog chewing on someone 's leg , then it was a zombie . Then I dreamt I was back in that pet store looking for a new dog . Thing was all the dogs had human faces that turned zombie . I even complained to the manager . That was when I realized the manager was my mom . My confusion must have woke me up . That is the first time I have dreamt of her in a long time . Makes me remember the good old days . Just anything with the family , even in those moments that weren 't our finest . I would take them . To be Since sleeping is now more unpleasant than ever , I decided to make my way through town . A lot of dead bodies , body parts , and blood . Been decaying for a long time now . Looks like these people may not have known about the zombies , and were taken by surprise . Not a shock being out here in the middle of nowhere . Actually more bodies than I would have thought for this small area . I got what I could find , and tomorrow I 'm out of here . Aug . 22 , 2020 Not many people escaped that town so I was able to find a car . A pick up truck . Probably came to town to pick up supplies . Sad knowing that they didn 't make it . I need to find people that have made it . I think I may be going nuts from the loneliness , and the nightmares . My head is killing me . That town didn 't have much . I need to find a better town than that one . Is there any safe place left to go in Zombieville ? Nothing to do but think so I was just thinking about when all this madness started for me . I just got back to college after my mom 's funeral . It was too hard being at home so I decided to go back to school . Maybe it would keep my mind off what had just happened . Weird things were happening already , but nobody was really paying close attention to it yet . The point was to go to class , but I wasn 't ready for that yet . I would just sit in the room staring out the window . Then we all got an alert that there was a fight somewhere on campus , and the school was investigating . I barely paid attention to it . None of my friends really knew what happened either . The next thing I know I was sitting by the window and noticed smoke coming from the dorm across the street . Then students came pouring out of the building . They all gathered outside watching the building become overtaken by fire . I was waiting for the fire department , or police , but they never came . Some administrators were there , but they didn 't seem to know what to do . All the sudden the crowd went nuts . Yelling and screaming , and then it dispersed . There were only a few people left . I had to look really hard to see , but it looked like one person was on top of another beating the hell out of them . A couple of other people just stood there watching . At the time , I didn 't know what was happening , but I do now . It was a hungry zombie . It jumped off its victim , and latched onto one of those stupid bystanders . I hadn 't noticed , but most of the people in our dorm had evacuated . I am not sure what made me do it , but I emptied my book bag , and then filled it with everything we had in the frig . I left the building like everyone else , but wasn 't sure where to go . Still no police . School staff was hard to find . Students were just running all around . Then a few of my friends stopped me , and told me they were getting in the car to leave . I didn 't care so I went with them . Apparently I graduated that day because that was the last time I saw that school . We fought tFound another farm in the middle of nowhere . No peanuts left . Nothing really left . Except the two little girls I found locked in a room upstairs . Apparently they starved to death . There appeared to be some food that they ate , but it wasn 't enough . One was dead on the bed , and the other was by the door . Their parents must have locked them in there for their protection . Not only was it locked , but they filled the hallway with every piece of furniture they had . I guess they didn 't want anyone getting close to that room . Of course , I couldn 't help myself . I moved everything to see why it was blocked off . Could have been a dumb move . Instead , it was just sad , and depressing . Sitting here on their couch , I can see a bunch of family pictures . They were probably a happy farming family before . The 2 girls had some older brothers I think . Their father was probably a hard working man , and their mother wa Sept . 4 , 2020 Damn those little girls . That is what I get for being so curious . They weren 't dead , and the family wasn 't protecting them . They were protecting themselves from the girls . I don 't know why they didn 't move when I was up there , but they sure as hell moved when I wasn 't paying attention . I was lucky that there was a mirror on the wall in front of me . I saw one of them just in time to turn around . Usually they make tons of noise because they just come running at you , but this one was sneaking up on me . I felt bad doing it , but I turned around and smashed one of the pictures right over her head . It stunned her just enough for me to pick up the lamp , and finish her off . I grabbed my stuff , and headed for the door . As I came around the corner , the other girl came crashing down the stairs . She wasn 't as slick as her sister . Not enough coordination to handle the stairs . I passed her , opened the door half way , but then stopped . I had to kill her as well . Or maybe not . I slid a nearby bookshelf over to her , and let it fall over her legs . If she can 't walk , she wouldn 't be able to follow me . It was bad enough killing one little girl , none the less two . That is the first time I have had to kill a zombie child . It doesn 't feel good , even if she was already dead . Not to mention I had just been looking at their family pictures . This is just so messed up . Why did this have to happen ? Why am I continuously put in these fucked up positions ? What if someone had to do that to Violet ? I I I would be furious , but I would have to understand . God ? ? ? ? Why the nightmares ? Those girls are still on my mind . They actually got their revenge last night . I was stuck . Couldn 't move for some reason . The one girl said , " How does it feel not being able to walk ? " Then the other said , " forget not walking , he 's about to feel death ! " I tried to tell them I didn 't kill them , but they just laughed . Then one jumped on me and bit into my neck , while the other went for my leg . Just before I woke up I had the feeling my mom was in the background with a grin on her face . I wish I could control when I wake up . Still not sure why mom keeps appearing in my dreams . Maybe my guilt is still inside me somewhere . Even with all this bullshit going on , I blame myself . I don 't know what I can do to fix things . Is there anything to fix ? I 'm stuck in the middle of nowhere . No one to talk to . No one to get advice from . I just have to keep moving . There has to be someone out there . No way in hell I 'm the last man standing . Sept . 12 , 2020 Where to go in Zombieville ? Anyone ? Anyone ? I could head to the west . Maybe the heat of Arizombia . Maybe gamble in Las Zombas ? How about becoming a star in ZombieWood ? I could continue north . Maybe North or South Deadota ? Could go to Indeada ? How about Zennessee , or Lifeless Island ? I could see if our government is still functioning in Washington , District of the Deceased . Departware ? Not so Marry - land ? The big lights of the Big Apple , New Undead City . Home . Home is where the heart is right ? It would be nice to be home . Good old North Carolina . No zombies allowed ! ! ! Sept . 14 , 2020 This is going to be a long trip . I 'm not even sure how I 'm going to do this . Are there enough cars left to get me home ? What is the shortest route home ? I am not an expert with maps . I don 't even think I have the energy for this . I got to think . So hard when my head hurts , and I can 't sleep . Oklahoma to North Carolina the hard way ! Collecting things as I go . Really needed some new shoes . The only ones that I could find in my size I had to pull off a dead guy . Not my idea of shoe shopping . They smell worse than my shoes after football practice . Having a hard time finding keys to a vehicle . When I do , they are usually in a car that has no gas , or crashed and won 't start . This is going to be a long walk . So off I go . Day 1 of my mission to get home . Sept . 20 , 2020 Nights are scary out in the middle of nowhere . No shelter to hide in . Good thing I don 't sleep too long , even though I 'm tired as hell . This is a long stretch of nothing but fields . I guess there is nothing out here for the zombies . Except me . Sept . 23 , 2020 Found a couple of cars that had a terrible accident . No way anyone survived . Blood all over the place . One car must have exploded . It looks like a zombie or two fed on the road kill . One of the bodies had its guts just ripped out . It is disgusting to think that what was once a human is eating a human . Is it cannibalism then ? And eating it raw ! I wonder why these zombies need to eat us . Why not animals ? Maybe they eat animals , and I just never stick around to see it . I haven 't seen many animals around either . I wonder how long the zombies will survive once all of us humans are gone . Maybe I just need to out last them . They have to die eventually . They can 't reproduce . Or can they ? That may be an even more disgusting thought then them eating people . Then having little zombie kids . I 'm crazy . That can 't happen . They will die off . It is just a matter of when . Hopefully soon . Time to hit the road again . I am going to try not to think of zombie love . You can 't take things for granted . I thought it was a pain in the ass to pack up my things , put them on a plane , and go to college . Walking home is an even bigger pain . And I had a slight fear of flying . I would love to be on a plane now . I remember getting on the flight to college . I was already nervous just with the whole life change . A new state , new home , new friends . Would I make friends ? Would college be hard ? Would I miss home ? Mom knew I was nervous . She spent the whole flight trying to get my mind off of school . She talked about the news , the stock market , and even sports . Not that she was an expert in any of those things . Then she couldn 't help but give me cooking tips . Something she did know about . Like I was going to be a cook in college . I was on one of those meal plans . I should have cooked . It would have been better than that crap . Would love some of that crap now . The plane hit some turbulence and I almost shit my pants . That was the only time I was on a plane since I was little . I thought we were going down for sure . Mom was saying it was normal , and I thought she was nuts . She said it was like speed bumps in the road , but in the air . That was probably the most scared I had been until the zombies took over . I closed the window . I don 't understand why we had to have a seat by the window . At that point you couldn 't even see the ground . We could have crashed into anything . A building , homes , the highway , one of these stupid fields , a lake , or the ocean . All bad scenarios . Certain death I told her . Then it all went away and she spent the rest of the flight making fun of me . Laugh at my expense . I would take that now . She could laugh at me all day , and night . Oh mom , I had to take the flight home alone when she passed away . She would have been proud . The turbulence didn 't get to me . I cheated , my mind just was on other things . I couldn 't care about turbulence at that moment . It was a long flight though . The flight attendant knew something was wrong with me . She kept asking if I was ok . I kWalking walking walking . I will be in good shape . I 'm like a giraffe . Maybe more like a cow . I have been eating leaves , and grass . There is nothing out here , and I 'm out of the little food I had . I 'm walking and getting nowhere fast . I see a sign every once in a while , but the miles seem to never shrink . I need transportation . Call a cab . There is too much time to think . All I do is think and it is driving me crazy . I try singing but that doesn 't last long . I don 't remember the last time I heard a song . Radio went to emergency broadcast systems then just died along time ago . I haven 't even turned a radio on in any of these cars . No point . Just like the TV 's . No point . The only media is my journal . I wonder if any other survivors are documenting their struggles . If someone finds them when we are long gone , they could be part of an ugly time in history . They would probably burn them . Hide what happened . No one would want to remember this . Or they could become part of the rare evidence of what happened . Proof that this wasn 't a lie . A nightmare . And I am ruining it with this stupidity I keep writing . The things I have done , and written . Well , it 's the truth . If you are reading this it is THE TRUTH . I can 't make this shit up . PS you took too long to save us . Next time take the threat of zombies seriously . Oct . 10 , 2020 Yesterday was a good day . I decided to go a little off course and follow this sign to a lake . I needed water and a bath . Really needed a bath . It was so refreshing . It was like finding the fountain of youth . I swam around like I was just one of the fish . It was really cold , but that wasn 't going to stop me . I washed my clothes , and filled up some water bottles . Disgusting to drink , but I don 't really have a choice . Now I 'm freezing . I can 't start a fire to save my life , literally . Before I forget , must make note of some smoke I have seen in the distance . I have seen it recently while walking down the road . Not sure what to make of it . Sign of people , but I have become very cautious of people . With zombies you always know what their intentions are . With people you never know . It would be nice to be around people , but that is only if they are friendly . I am going to mind my business , and continue on my mission for now . That is if I don 't freeze to death first . What a shocker . No one in this town either . At least none that will show themselves . Got myself some nice new pens . Some of the cheap ones go fast . Also , found a little store that still hadn 't been raided . Got some old cereal , and chips . Always exciting on the stomach . Better than grass though . You know what smells bad . Milk . I was curious and opened one , and it was terrible . Thinking I could use them to throw off my smell if zombies are on to me so I took a few of the smaller cartons of milk . If I could find a working car , I could take more of this stuff . Going to look in the morning . Dark now so I 'm locked in here for the night . Hopefully I can get a good nights rest . No nightmares please . Oct . 22 , 2020 Jackpot ! Found a little car , and I got the keys . Only about half a tank of gas , so I am checking the map closely to get the most out of it . Can 't waste my time taking a wrong turn , or going down the wrong path . Loaded it up , and leaving shortly . Oct . 25 , 2020 Looks like I got out of there in time . Not far down the road I noticed something in the mirror . I stopped the car to get out , and take a look . There was a huge cloud of smoke . Who ever is setting the fires must have gotten there right after I left . I thought about turning around , but decided against it . Not sure what the story is with all the fire . Is it a signal ? Are they burning something in particular ? Frying zombies maybe ? I got back in the car , and took off before they headed this way . Not sure if they saw me . Resting for now before I get moving again . Don 't want to fall asleep again , and crash the car . I think I got the most out of that car . Came up just short of this town . I was really hoping to make it because I have all these supplies with me . Thinking about pushing the car the rest of the way , but I 'm not sure it is worth it . Don 't think I have the strength or energy for that either . Decisions decisions . Nov . 3 , 2020 Decided just to take what I need , and could carry . No way I could push that car . So back on foot it is . At least I got some rest , so I should be able to make it to my next stop without a problem . Could I find two cars in a row ? Am I really that lucky ? Doubt it . Not sure I 'm even lucky being alive . I could be dead and resting in peace . That is if the zombies don 't find me , and snack on me . On the brighter side of things , it is starting to get cooler outside . I am going to need to find some clothes . Maybe something warmer which is usually a pain to carry around . Too warm to wear it in the daytime , but need it at night . It is so nice and cold at night that I just want to sleep forever . Can 't because the dreams , and my internal alarm waking me up to check if everything is ok , I don 't sleep too much at one time . I really need to find a better way t Is this a birthday present ? People ! 2 families it looked like . Family of looters . Stopped and took everything from the car I had . So much for coming back for it . I heard something coming , and hid in the bushes . Watched them as they went through the car . It is not fair , they had 2 cars . 2 vans . One had most of the people , and the other is where they were putting all the supplies they were stealing . It appeared to be 2 moms , 2 dads , 3 younger kids , and a young maybe teenaged girl . Not sure if there was anyone else still in the vans . The kids got out and stretched , while the moms watched them closely . The younger girl didn 't do much . The dads did the stealing . As soon as they were done , they all got back in the vans , and took off . I 'm not sure if they were the ones setting the fires , but they have to be . What are the odds of there being anyone else out here ? They could be part of a larger group , which is exactly what I am afraid of . They are out in front of me now , so I don 't have to worry about them sneaking up on me . I am going to stay off the road though . Just in case . Now it is time to celebrate my birthday . Stale chips , and nasty lake water . I thought I out grew birthdays , especially in college , but I would love to celebrate it now . A nice vanilla and chocolate cake . I could eat the whole thing myself . 2 or 3 cakes actually . Nov . 7 , 2020 What a terrible night . Chips and water didn 't mix well . Got little sleep in between throwing up and nightmares . I dreamt I had a huge birthday party . Family , friends , and people I didn 't even know . It was on a field I think . Somewhere I don 't know . Everyone seemed like they were having a good time . It was time to sing Happy Birthday . People gathered around the biggest cake you could imagine . Mom to my right , dad to my left , and Violet next to him . When the song ended , instead of people clapping , there was a bolt of lightening , and it insistently became dark . I turned and looked at mom , and there it was again . She was a zombie . Not only a zombie , but the lead zombie . She waved her hands , and laughed then everyone transformed . They were all zombies . I had nowhere to go . They knocked the cake off the table , and threw me on top . It was clear they were going to eat me , but I woke up before that could happen . I don 't remember much about the other dreams . No motivation to move on right now . Nor the strength . Looks like another day of just me and my thoughts . Nov . 11 , 2020 Can 't get into this town . The families are here . I saw the vans , and backed off . I 'm on the outside looking in . Haven 't seen them light a fire yet so I 'm wondering if they are doing it . They do seem to be picking up more supplies . They better leave me something . At least they won 't be taking any cars . Again moms are watching the kids closely , and the dads are at work . Haven 't seen the young girl . Nov . 14 , 2020 Families still here . They are making their way through town , and I am just following them through at a distance . They aren 't leaving much behind for me . Staying locked up at night . Finally saw them light a fire , but nothing like what I have been seeing . Probably just keeping warm . Also see dads walking around with self - made torches keeping a look out . As soon as they leave , I will look for a car . Nov . 20 , 2020 Watching these families is making me really miss being home . Not knowing what happened to my family . Not sure if I will ever know what happened to my family . Did they escape like me ? Roaming around like me ? Are they with each other ? Violet on her own ? Are they zombies ? Eating people ? Seeing these kids run and play reminds me of going to the park with Violet and Jack . Jack chasing other dogs around , while Violet played on the swing - set . She loved swinging . " Higher , higher to the clouds " she would always say . One time she surprised me and suddenly jumped off in mid air , and took a hard fall . I thought she broke a leg for sure . I ran over to her as she lied still for a few seconds . Then she just started laughing . I was thinking mom was going to kill me for sure so I was relieved . It was that damn daredevil of a kid that was jumping off next to her . I really wanted to yell at his parents , but I just told Violet she couldn 't do that again or mom wouldn 't let us come back . I 'm sure she did it again , but not while I was watching . Nov . 23 , 2020 They don 't leave . Just hanging around . I guess they feel safe here . Not sure what to do . I really want a car , but I can 't just take one without them knowing . I don 't think they are a threat to me , but I just want to move on . I 'll give them another day or two . If not , I will be on foot again . What I didn 't want to happen , happened . I am now friends with the families . I should have left , but was just too lazy to leave without a car . Maybe a higher power kept me here . I was watching them on what was supposed to be Thanksgiving . They were celebrating , I am not sure why , and surprisingly lost track of one of the kids . I noticed the little boy got too excited playing with some toy , and was getting further and further from the group . I was in a two - story building and was going from room to room to watch him . That was when I noticed something else moving . Of course it was nothing good . I really didn 't want to get involved , but couldn 't just sit by and watch this boy get eaten . I ran door stairs , but when I got to the bottom , I really didn 't know what to do . I was weaponless . Then I realized I had the door barricaded in . No way was I getting out in time . So I smashed the window , and carefully and quickly climbed out . Didn 't need a plan at that point . Just as the zombies had picked up on the boy , they changed their direction to my noise . 3 zombs came right after me . I dodged them and ran to the boy who had now seen what was going on , but was frozen . I grabbed him and ran to a nearby car . Luck was on my side again because it was open . I pushed the boy in as he was screaming , and jumped in myself . Locked the doors . That was really a dumb move . I should have known better to get in a car that wouldn 't start . They started beating on the windows . I looked for something in the car to defend us with , but there was nothing . The boy kept screaming and was really panicking . I thought that was it . A good deed for nothing . I don 't know if I really really could have done it , but I was seriously thinking about how I could sacrifice myself for him to survive . Then I hit the horn by accident , and it worked . The zombies froze for a second , and then moved over to my side of the car as I held it down . Those were some ugly zombies . One of them was missing an eye . Some didn 't even have all their fingers . Drooling alI am still with the families . Couldn 't find the right time to leave , and there are more advantages than disadvantages of staying with them at this point . They have food , nothing much better than I find but there are no more gourmet cooks around these days . They have vans , and are surprisingly good at getting gas out of cars . One of the fathers was a mechanic . I am the only one alive that has no luck with cars . I have someone to talk too . Haven 't shared anything too personal with them . Just exchanged a few survival stories . I don 't want to get too attached . I am not sure how long this alliance is going to last . Sometimes I get the feeling they trust me , and other times I feel like they are keeping an eye on me . I guess I don 't blame them especially with the kids around . It is amazing that these kids have survived . The parents have gone to great lengths to protect them . Gives me a little hope that maybe Violet is alive . I 'm sure dad would do the same for her . The kids seem pretty normal considering the circumstances . Not traumatized from what I can tell . They play a lot with the mothers close by . The only one that is odd is the older girl . She barely says anything . Kind of stays away from the group . Within safe distance . More like a follower . We haven 't spoken . I 'm beginning to wonder if she is even one of their children . I just stay out of it . None of my business . They have gotten this far without me interfering . Dec . 9 , 2020 Couple number 1 is Jake , and Emily . They have 2 of the younger kids . Peter , who was the one I saved . Sort of . And their daughter Christina . They told me their ages , but I forgot already . I am so bad with that stuff . Couple number 2 is Rob and Jess . They are Rob Jr . 's parents . Never really understood why you name a child after yourself , and make the only difference Jr . The older girl is still the odd person out . I see her talking more with Jess than anyone else , but I don 't know . Haven 't had the courage to ask . They haven 't said much about her either . I hate to say it , but she is almost as brain dead as a zombie . Just sits by herself . Doesn 't do much . Doesn 't help out . We moved into another town now . Let 's see what it has to offer us . Need more warm clothing . It has been getting really cold at night . It is a good thing that Jake is able to start fires . Dec . 12 , 2020 More zombies . Yesterday we pulled right up to several of them . Not sure what they were doing besides just roaming around . As soon as they saw the vans , they kicked it into gear , and came right after us . Rob and Jake put the vans in reverse , and took off . I was glad they took my approach to zombies . Don 't mess with them if you don 't have to . We didn 't stop for long after that . Got what we could from one store , and left town . Now we are out in the fields again . Take turns sleeping in the van . I sleep a lot when we are on the move . I can 't seem to help myself . Jess told me I talk in my sleep . Not good . Hopefully I won 't say anything bad about them . She said I mentioned zombies . No surprise there . That is all I dream about . She also said I mumbled " grass " a lot . She must have meant Grace . Again no surprise as she continues to be a huge presence in my dreams . I just played dumb with Jess on that one . It is too hard to talk about . Hurts even writing about . I am happy these families still have each other , but it also hurts watching them be together . Kind of jealous . This would all be so much easier to deal with if my family was around . Maybe that is why these kids aren 't too fazed by what has happened . It is like a big road trip for them . Except for the ugly monsters . I miss you Grace Peter has gotten over the events of the night I helped him out , and now continually wants to play . Like I am his new toy . He has quite the imagination . His favorite game seems to be pretending I am the zombie , and that I must die . At least he knows zombies aren 't good . I rather him learn I am the zombie and he must run away , but I guess that game isn 't as fun . Christina likes asking a lot of questions . Is it wrong lying to a kid ? There are some questions I just can 't answer , and some that I don 't really want to talk about . I lied to Violet , but that was Violet . I knew what I could get away with . Rob Jr . hasn 't been as open to welcome me . Sometimes he joins in on kill the zombie , but I think he prefers playing with Peter alone . Could he be jealous that Peter has a new friend ? It has been too long since I have been around kids . Plus the parents are still watching me . I never liked being around other people 's kids . I hated when I had to watch Violet and her friends . I never wanted to be responsible if something happened to one of them on my watch . Mom knew it too , but sometimes I got stuck watching them by default . While these parents keep an eye on me , I think they are happy to get at least a moment or two to relax . I didn 't say anything , but I wonder why they didn 't celebrate Christmas . Maybe they don 't celebrate it . Not their religion . Not sure if religion matters these days . They celebrated Thanksgiving from what I could tell , and there wasn 't much to be thankful for besides being alive . Who knows ? Click here for year 2021 : Journal : Jan 3 , 2021 - Dec 29 , 2021 Email ThisBlogThis ! Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest Bernie Wrightson passed away on Saturday , March 18 , 2017 . He was 68 years old . Wrightson had been ill for some time and had only recently announced that . . . As you can clearly see , the blog hasn 't been active for a while . It won 't be . Let me explain why I 've decided to stop . Hello , Fire Enthusiasts . Seasons Greetings to you as we enter the stretch run of 2015 . Once you get to Halloween the next thing we know it 's New Year 's Day . . .