10.7340/anuac2239-625X-3806
application/pdf
2239-625X
3806
1
en
Sara Bonfanti
Anuac
Shifting women: Mobilizing intimate kinship in a Punjabi diaspora domestic narrative
Text.Serial.Journal
https://ojs.unica.it/index.php/anuac
9
Thematic section: Kinship ties on the move
2020-07-29
2019-06-29
2020-07-29
2020-07-29
111-133
1
Sara Bonfanti
2020/07/29
10.7340/anuac2239-625X-3806
111
University of Urbino, Italy
2239-625X
1
en
133
Shifting women: Mobilizing intimate kinship in a Punjabi diaspora domestic narrative
https://ojs.unica.it/index.php/anuac/article/download/3806/3818
9
                                            2020 | ANUAC. VOL. 9, N° 1, GIUGNO 2020: 111-133




Shifting women
Mobilizing intimate kinship in a Punjabi diaspora domestic narrative
Sara BONFANTI
Università di Trento




ABSTRACT: Based on extensive multi-site fieldwork with Punjabi immigrants in Italy, the
article discusses the institute of transnational marriage and kin reunification among
Indian diasporas, interlacing the drive for upward mobility, the normative frame of
family migration and the affective economy in building affinity relations. A household
case is considered: the lag between a mother’s and her daughter’s experience, an Indian
pioneer migrant and a 2nd generation Italian, who differently resorted to kin networks
and practices of intimacy in order to circumvent contingent burdens such as political
persecution, economic uncertainty, law-enforced stuckedness. The dissonant
genealogical narrative that this mother-daughter dyad share sheds light on gender and
age intersections in transnational migrations, revealing how a migrant life-course is
embedded in family and social upheavals that unfold across different historical
challenges. The role of kinship and the alternative dependencies or opportunities it may
yield are gauged against a frame of structural constraints and novel desires for making
one’s living in a world increasingly hostile but not impermeable to mobility.

KEYWORDS: PUNJABI DIASPORA; KINSHIP; MOBILITY; TRANSNATIONAL MARRIAGES; GENEALOGICAL NARRATIVES.




This work is licensed under the Creative Commons © Sara Bonfanti
112                                                                                SARA BONFANTI



Introduction. A random return to the field, accounting for mobility leaps
    August 10th 2016, Milan Central Station1. Hopping on a train with my
children, after a torrid summer day in Milan, a familiar voice with a
distinctive South Asian accent catches me by surprise: “Kattaee naheen (No
way!) What the hell are you doing here?” Panting, I take off my sunglasses:
it's Praneet!
    Praneet was a research participant I had met four years earlier; the elder
daughter of a migrant household that had welcomed me into their homes,
both in the Po Valley and in the Punjabi Plain. A second-generation2 Italian
(in fact a 1.5 generation, born in India and moved to Italy at age twelve), my
close informant used to live with her parents and younger brother in
Bergamo, northern Italy. Turned twenty, she had temporarily returned to
Punjab3 in order to wed a Sikh young man, as arranged by her grandfather4.
In a few months, the bride had come back to Italy followed by her groom. I
had not seen Praneet for almost a year in the north of Italy: with their
newborn baby, the couple had moved down south. News that her brother had
passed me via Facebook5, and to which I had responded with disconcert,
accustomed as I was to recognize transfers that climbed the Italian peninsula
1. The Author expresses sincere gratitude to the three anonymous reviewers of Anuac for
their careful reading and insightful comments on a previous version of this piece. She also
disclaims that this article takes after her own authored chapter: Intimità in movimento:
genealogie domestiche della diaspora panjabi italiana, in Mobilità. Incursioni etnografiche, edited
by Bruno Riccio, Milano, Mondadori, 2019: 153-177. The author received funding from the
ERC HOMInG StG n°678456 while finalising this publication. The Author maintains that she
held no conflicts of interest and received no funding in the pursue of the research here
reported.
2. According to international classification, the children of immigrants are defined as
second generation if they were born in the country of arrival of their parents. If instead they
moved there as children or adolescents are known as generation 1.5 (or other approximate
decimal measure). I refer to the sociological literature for pertinent discussion (Ambrosini,
Caneva 2009).
3. Although Punjab, as a geographic region, stretches over present-day Pakistan, in this
article I am referring to the Indian state of the Punjab. Inhabited by a Sikh majority, this
breadbasket of India has always been a land of emigration, to flee from political-religious
persecution and/or to attempt luck (Axel 2001; Malhotra, Mir 2012; Lal, Jacobsen 2016).
4. As I will discuss later in the paper, Punjabi marriages are often semi-arranged with one’s
extended family’s intervention, although the spouses involved usually define their plans as
being “self-arranged” (Netting 2010).
5. Facebook, Skype or WhatsApp are effective means of digital communication and
relational bonding despite physical distance, between social actors themselves and with the
ethnographer on field, who is increasingly entangled with social media in the study of
cultural intimacy (Pink et al. 2016).


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SHIFTING WOMEN                                                                        113


in the opposite direction, going up north. In Calabria, Praneet’s husband,
Binhat, feeling lost in a country alien to him, had found a temporary job in
the construction industry, thanks to the brokerage of co-ethnics6. A mobility
that had begun, as we shall see, as a well-planned transnational migration,
from Asia to Europe, seemed to have turned into a makeshift transfer within
the Italian territory, a provisional “internal mobility” (see also: King,
Skeldon 2010; Riccio 2016). That August noon, my friend and her young
family were on a trip to visit her relatives during the summer holidays, in
one of those northern Italian rural towns that hosted burgeoning South
Asian minorities. The bemused smiles that the two of us exchanged on a
rocky regional wagon, between one station and the next, were a mutual
invitation to break the ice after months of detachment.
The metaphor of “mobility leaps” recalls the steps and paces of what, once
conceptualized as a history of migration, with its firm points of departure
and arrival and a presumed sequence, now assumed the contours of a blurred
family story of mobility, whose many places, times and actors seemed
fleeting. In this article, I argue that the much acclaimed “mobility turn”
(Sheller, Urry 2006; Faist 2013) may yield fruitful analyses provided that
ethnographic research is equipped with the right methods to collect and
analyze sensible data. Family narrative work is the technique here adopted
to defend this perspective.
   “Mobility” has since become a paradigm in studying migration today,
overcoming the gaze centered on groups and focusing instead on space and
practices of un/making boundaries7. Yet, some pioneer ethnographies of the
Nineties, when globalization became a refrain, had already led the way to
this interpretative turn in migration studies, acknowledging that global
movements impinged on but did not sweep away “local lives” (Gardner
1995). Opening to transnational research, such works brought to light the
impossible ubiquity of migrant lives, their overlapping social fields and
selective relational networks, the contingency of itineraries and the need for
an ethnographer to follow migrant experiences in a sequence of “here and
now” episodes. The mobility turn in the social sciences warned that the
present is ephemeral, that almost telekinetic new means of transport and
communication involve the entire planet, where being mobile is a

6. Regardless the route of arrival in Italy, every Indian migrant is confronted with an
insertion in the local ethnic community already established. Such reference networks often
offer mutual support, sometimes they hide abuse and exploitation (Lum 2012; Bonfanti
2015b).
7. That is how I framed my research with Italian Punjabis, also contributing to a volume
emblematically titled Bounded Mobilities (Bonfanti 2016).

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114                                                                              SARA BONFANTI


postmodern condition to which meanings and values are assigned in
context, and often overestimated (Salazar, Jayaram 2016). Mobility thus is a
complex process, which holds together geographical as well as social spaces,
and cannot be understood without its opposite: immobility (Adey 2006,
Schewel 2019). Im/mobility invites to rethink the tension that has always
existed in migrations between staying and going, between those who can
leave and those who must remain (or between those who are obliged to flee
and those who may choose to stay), between those who transit or resettle (or
start again)8. In the case of Punjabis here tackled, a mobility lens revises
people’s movements and recognizes the co-production of freedom and
confinement, marked by political economies (from the market to the State)
and small scale networks (from community to family dynamics; Soderstrom
et al. 2013). Chasing mobility tracks also demands to look at temporalities:
routines, disruptions and courses. For ethnographers, returning to confront
at different times the same interlocutors permits to seize their second
thoughts on movement, to understand their random or reasoned stops and
new departures. Last, keeping together times and trails of mobility allows to
dilute that exceptionality of the migrant condition, breaking the disciplinary
barriers of migration studies (Hui 2016), and possibly “de-migranticize”
them, while being attentive to people’s mobilities as relational experiences
with places and networks (Dahinden 2016).
   That sultry afternoon, Praneet’s appearance emerged as the tip of the
iceberg, reopening the long field work that I had conducted for three years
with Indian immigrants in Italy and with their families of origin in Punjab
(aware that some mobility becomes viable and relevant only with the
immobility of others; Bonfanti 2016, 2019). While my meagre certainties
evaporated, to Praneet's rants about her new fishmonger neighbors,
simultaneously interpreting for me and her husband, I recovered from her
story tale that life cycle events, family dynamics and migratory pathways are
tightly interwoven. There is nothing clear-cut in the lives of migrants; lived
experiences of mobility transgress simple binaries like free vs. forced
transfer, or labor migrants vs. refugees. The tyranny of categorizations in
migration research is often inadequate to render a lived diasporic experience
(Brah 1996), where family intimacy cannot elude those migration policies
that support or hinder its very existence (Cresswell 2010). It was in the words
rendered by my informants that I could get access to their worlds in constant

8. Bearing in mind that many peoples across the globe do not have nor aim for a sedentary
lifestyle. In today’s South Asia there roam countless different nomadic groups, who thrive
upon seasonal internal mobilities, or try to survive in spite of centralizing pressures to settle
down (Rao, Casimir 2003; Sharma 2011).


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SHIFTING WOMEN                                                                           115


transformation, and I tried to approach, with respect and participation, their
stories of mobility within a “domestic” perspective. If the word home in the
Punjabi language translates with ghar, this is not much about the brick and
mortar of a dwelling place, but concerns the cognitive, practical and
emotional dimensions which a transnational family home entails (Baldassar,
Merla 2014; Bonfanti 2019). For Punjabis, ghar identifies the relational and
caring nature of home, that my informants often rendered in Italian as
famiglia rather than casa. Thus, what we refer in the article as “family”
(aware that the term is biased with western ethnocentrism, Grilli 2019) is in
fact a compound of parental, conjugal and sibling relations which are not
only enacted in the everyday (at times under one’s roof, others at long
distance), but also evoke one’s jati or birth-group, the base for kinning
within South Asian societies (Shah 1998). This double cultural reference that
migrants juggle with muddles the meaning of family as considered in the
present case study. Being transnational families an elusive phenomenon
(between spatial dispersion and almost unending mutation, Bryceson and
Vuorela 2002), their unclearness becomes fertile ground for some gender and
generational reshuffling of the deck in making relatedness.

Methodological notes. When home ethnography delivers a polyphonic trans-
national tale
   This paper draws from the multi-sited ethnography (Falzon 2009) that I
carried out in 2012-2014 between and betwixt Lombardy and the Indian
Punjab. Based on extended observation, participatory work with Italian
Punjabi families and rich life narratives, the research accounts for the
complex and troubled simultaneity of transnational practices and local
integration among an Indian diaspora9 in a southern European country. My
fieldwork took the guise of a domestic ethnography, where the homes of my
informants, both in India and in Italy, stood at once as a context for and an
object of socio-cultural enquiry (Bonfanti 2019). Through minute analysis of

9. Although difficult to circumscribe, and at times abused, the term diaspora indicates an
original community well localized then dispersed in time and space. I refer to R. Cohen 2005
for an introduction to the theme, and I emphasize that the designation of diaspora applies
for various reasons to the transnational Indian migrations I deal with. First, Punjabis have
historically been the most mobile groups in the period of British domination in India (hired
as military staff or transferred worldwide as bonded labourers in the service of the Raj).
Secondly, several waves of religious persecution against the Sikhs originating in Punjab
have escalated in pogroms against this local minority, peaking in 1984 (Axel 2001). Finally,
in recent post-colonial times, almost all Indian expat groups have begun to define themselves
in these terms, advancing political claims, with an emergent collective conscience (Lal,
Jacobsen 2016).

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116                                                                           SARA BONFANTI


material culture and domestic practices, I theorized a diasporic construction
of Punjabi homes that challenges the antagonism of movement vs. stillness
and renders the emotional load in making home elsewhere (Tölölyan 2005;
Thapan 2012). It was within the walls of privileged households, as a lived site
and a set of relations, that I grappled with the leaking permeability between
private and public, moving and settling. It was conducting narrative
interviews in home settings that I could collect life stories and apply
genealogical10 analysis, finding a “rhythm” of intimacy (Tamboukou, Ball
2003). This inter-subjective tempo does not simply follow a timeline: the
domestic narratives of my friends combined temporal facts with spatial
shifts, recalling past experiences of close others to give meaning to their
present. Paraphrasing Appadurai (2013), if the future is a cultural fact, new
generations blossom on their family’s symbolic legacy.
   The biographical and autobiographical methods, on which life stories are
based, allow to construct and reconstruct an order through which it may be
possible to interpret the world and act upon it. In the anthropological
tradition, at the end of the Nineteenth century, it was Pitt Rivers who started
the genealogical method as an epistemological method for doing
ethnography: the collection of data was not, and is not, in itself explanatory,
rather it is the way in which certain objects, facts, or tales are collected to
give them meaning (Urry 1993: 27-30). In this piece, I report how I entrusted
my participants to practice genealogical work in order to make each other’s
accounts mutually intelligible: it is their conscious placement within a given
system of kinship to render their life and mobility designs more or less valid
and doable11. Thanks to the long-term collaboration sustained with these
women over four years, I will draw extensively from the life stories of
Praneet and her mother Kanval, working on the gender peculiarities of their
“her-stories” (i.e. their life stories as female subjects, connected through a
line of descent) and on the connection that both established between their
own mobility agencies and narratives.

10. As I explain later in this section, genealogy holds a rather specific meaning in
anthropology, standing for the reconstruction’s of one’s family tree: centred on an ego
whose many branches figuratively represent his/her lines of descent and alliance. Within
this article, I limit myself to consider the mother-daughter bond of my informants, and how
this parental tie operated in a transnational space (Declich 2016).
11. In exposing the methodological value of life stories as an ethnographic tool, Crapanzano
(1984) reminds us that every biography and autobiography from time to time recast, literally
rewrite the script of the events that occurred, modulating them with the present moment,
so to restore the narrator’s authorship. With hindsight, every narration of oneself assumes a
longitudinal perspective otherwise impossible to grasp with participant observation only.


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SHIFTING WOMEN                                                                   117


   Within the Special Issue, my contribution intends to revisit a research
practice that, far from being outpaced in the social sciences, is a long-
standing method worth to be revisited time and again. Life stories are at once
source and method of ethnographic work, data sets and genres of their own
(Clemente 2013). Narrative work with household members, especially the
interlacement of biographical accounts among close relatives (attentive to
gender and generation dynamics) is a refined device for analyzing
contemporary family mobility (Giorgio 2002). Through this avenue it is possible
to recover the complexity of people’s subjectivities and the normative structures
which thwart or assist their migration paths.
   The case here proposed focuses upon a mother-daughter dyad, an instance
that has been only marginally explored, often relegated to social psychology or
feminist agendas. Although the author of this piece does self-define as a
feminist ethnographer (in brief, I am myself a woman who works on, with, for
women, Davis, Craven 2016), the arguments put forth shun away from activist
concerns. That doesn’t refrain me from questioning my disposition of “speaking
for others”, advancing claims on “third-world” women’s behalf allegedly in
need of western feminist liberation (Salih 2008). I think of this piece as way of
disseminating knowledge co-produced with my informants, aware of the
inequalities that intersect all our lives, with no pretense to defend anything
else than their right to speak for themselves, just as their family stories did.
   The following considerations remain speculative, on the levels of method
and analysis, as they deal first with doing narrative ethnography with migrant
mothers and daughters, then with the interplay between gender and generation
in researching contemporary family migrations. According to Bertaux (1997),
recits de vie may fulfill three different functions: explorative, analytical and
expressive. While the three aspects can be singled out in an ethnographer’s
perspective, they appear enmeshed in the way my informants were tale
telling one another their respective life stories time and again, interlacing
experiences, memories and projections. These methods reveal the use of
memory and its role in the continuing emotional adjustments in which most
transnational experience is embroiled. Domestic genealogies strike the
advantage of analyzing facts and emotions within a migrant family, keeping
a longitudinal gaze over people’s life course and the household cycle. After all,
transnationalism is a potent “motif in family stories” (Stone et al. 2005), and
an effective vehicle for articulating social changes that arise from within the
home, and possibly return home. Home is not only a place for belonging, but
also a space where people constantly renegotiate what “homecoming”
means (Adler 2009). The multiple homes inhabited by my participants emplace
and renew, time after time, the meaning of their (im)mobility and their own
subjectivities in motion.

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118                                                                           SARA BONFANTI




Reading keys. Gender and kinship in migration, “a woman for all seasons12”?
   This piece follows the broad acknowledgement that gender and kinship
are two keys in the articulation of migratory movements (Cresswell, Uteng
2008). Long gone are the times when the scale of migration was reduced to
statistical figures and migrants were assumed as gender-neutral (or tacitly
male-biased). Over three decades of social science research have given due
visibility to the feminization of disparate migrant labor flows (Pessar, Mahler
2003) and a burgeoning number of policy studies has taken into consideration
the diverse family constellations of mobility patterns (Brah 1996; Palriwala,
Uberoi 2008). In particular, Indian diasporas, although diverse and spanning
several waves and destinations (Lal, Jacobsen 2016), have since epitomized
kin-chain transnational migrations with a strong male prerogative13. Punjab
in particular retains the lure of a patriarchal land, whose culture of
migration re-produced if not heightened this gender inequity, and whose
stereotypes critically feature in the literature on marriage migration, with
young brides embodying the currency of mobility incentives (Charsley 2012;
Bonfanti 2015a).
   In accordance with that framework, my ethnographic analysis focuses on
the “mobilization of intimate kinship”: how do gender and age on one hand,
and the making of relatedness (Carsten 2004; Sahlins 2013) on the other,
interplay with migration strategies? I will thus compare the active tactics
that two Punjabi migrant women, mother and daughter, devised and
implemented through the idiom of kinship (and their positionality in it), so
as to boost their lives and mobility agency against structural constraints,
fronting territorial and socio-economical limits. I intend mobilization as the

12. Although far from the ethnographic case presented, I adopt the title of the drama play of
R. Bolt “A Man for All Seasons”, 1960 (which staged how Cardinal Thomas More adapted to
the Anglican Schism turmoil, while remaining faithful to his ethics), in order to interrogate
both the resilience of my two Indian migrant female informants, and the alleged proto-type
of Punjabi women (“beautiful and independent, modern but respectful of traditions”,
Palriwala, Uberoi 2008: 156).
13. Thapan 2012 uncovers the ambivalence of this moral imperative “to make a better life
elsewhere”: for a young Punjabi (first-born male in particular) expatriating means satisfying
the expectations of parents, but also freeing themselves from the bulky weight of the family
of origin. A similar contradiction returns in the departure from the homeland of young
brides, who leave a parental home to set up a new domestic unit abroad (depending from
their husbands), thus leaving behind many family ties (especially feminine) and finding
themselves isolated and vulnerable.


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SHIFTING WOMEN                                                                            119


timely process that my informants undertook in order to prepare for their
migration prospects. Likewise, I highlight the potential for social change
that their specific gendered mobilities yield. Praneet and Kanval are the
main characters of this ethnographic narrative, but they are also the leading
figures in their family mobilities: as daughters, spouses and mothers. As we
shall see, these women’s capability for (self-) movement and for moving kin
members after them is rather uncommon among Punjabi Sikhs14 (especially
in recent waves heading to southern Europe). Yet, this unconventional
genealogy will come clear as we listen to their life stories and re-inscribe
their shifts within their homes and households, communities and historical
times. We will then probe whether the axiomatic female oppression of
Punjabi culture might really turn around in the migration process, and how
this unexpected outcome could occur through a family chain migration that
traditionally remains male-laden. Last, this case study may suggest a model
of mobilizing intimate kinship, seeing through the hierarchies that my
women informants both restage and subvert. While the case here analyzed
pertains in the tradition of “ethnic studies”, focusing on a peculiar history of
migration (Punjabi transnational laborers), the methodology adopted tried
to overcome this disciplinary bias. While valuing the use of oral history in
migration studies, the narrative case method I chose to develop enhances
the genealogy of a parenting rapport, and its imprinting on personal life
accounts. The intimacy of a mother-daughter relation, and the trust they
bestowed upon me over the course of my research and afterward, gave us all
the chance to engage in a collective exercise of reflexivity. Quoting
Chamberlain and Leysderdoff (2004: 237):
      If we wish in particular to reveal how migrants reflect on their lives and on the
      families that surround them (and often only) in the emotional and imaginative
      world, then we suggest one way forward is to engage with memories, with what
      is recalled and how these memories translate into the stories people tell about
      their passages through their lives.

  Engaging with memory, my interlocutors’ double recounting teases out
ways in which gender differences impact on, or are impacted by, trans-
national lives.


14. In this article, I leave in shadow the deep religious feeling of the household considered,
as done by my informants themselves, but I acknowledge that the Sikh spiritual profession
(with its rhetoric on gender equality, Singh 2011) criss-crossed the desires and journeys of
the two women involved in such family transfers, and possibly inspired their female
empowerment.

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120                                                                          SARA BONFANTI



Recollecting itineraries. Families in motion between generational continuity
and change
   As cultural studies highlighted, with reference to “cultural memory” (i.e.
the practice of individual remembering within a smaller or wider collective
setting, be it family or nation; Erll, Nünning 2008) memory is the foundation
of history and needs to be considered in a holistic sense, not just as an
individual faculty but as socially and culturally constructed and
communicated. The relationship between the individual and the collective in
representing the past is positioned as reciprocal, mutually interdependent
and constantly negotiated (Keightley 2008:197). The mother–daughter
relation between Kanval and Praneet is a strong bond of female genealogy,
between generational clash and solidarity. Migration plans were central to
life projects in both my informants’ words, for whom “motility”, i.e. the
capability to move (Kaufman et al. 2004), equated with the possibility of
(well)being, questing for a better way of life (Benson, Osbaldiston 2014).
Considering a mother’s and her daughter’s life narratives allows to
illuminate relations within the family (nuclear and extended) as well as
within the wider transnational social space that their domestic group
inhabits. It is the narrative material that this mother and daughter shared
with each other in real life, and then partially revealed to me in the
ethnographic encounter, that offers [me] a draft script15 where to see their
lives being enacted, aware of promises and constraints, deeds and affects.

   Kanval, the fearless
   Kanval’s migratory path contradicts the standard grid of family re-
unification via male spouse, widely in use among the Italian Punjabi
Diaspora (Bertolani 2012). Kanval came first on her own to Italy, sponsored
by her expat “brother’s cousin” (a distant relation) and leaving her husband
and children at home. Two years after arriving in Italy, once gained
residential and employment stability - the requirements for filing for family
reunification, she filled in the papers so her close kin could expatriate and
move to Bergamo. Kanval’s recollection was marked by fleeing from the
Punjab as a girl and living in exile in Himachal Pradesh in order to escape
anti-Sikh pogroms after 1984, when some kinsmen, held involved in

15. Following Clemente (2013), rather than a “script”, culture is a canovaccio, a rough plot
where characters act upon with degrees of inventiveness, almost an ideological narrative of
social life.


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SHIFTING WOMEN                                                                               121


separatist actions, were imprisoned or murdered16. What struck me most in
her biography, however, was that once reunited her household in Italy,
Kanval mutually agreed with her husband, Manbir, to give him back the reins
of their family, handing over to him her post at the bakery where she had
found steady employment. Such generous choice was not taken light
heartily. Kanval acknowledged the extraordinary commitment taken to
obtain such a position. Being a low-skilled, lone Asian immigrant woman,
she had to take Italian classes for months, a qualification in baking and even
a driving license. That way, she obtained from her hosting uncle permission
to use his car to reach the bakery every day before dawn in the Po Plains.
While her sister-in-law still teased Kanval, calling her the sardar (head) of
the house (a term that in Punjab connotes ironically male military
authority), she explained that her migration project had always been a
collective design:
      I left for my children. It felt so bad being away for two years, but then the hard
      work was rewarded [...]. When they arrived, we all lived in with uncle, and then
      we could rent a place of our own. My husband took the job in the bakery, I had
      to take care of the children [...] now I add with a little sewing [...]. Together we
      sent lakhs [thousands of rupees] home and my father-in-law had the villa built
      on our land with the savings [Interview released in Kanval’s lounge, Bergamo,
      on Nov. 23rd 2012].

   Kanval proudly recounted their efforts to remit home with startling
humbleness. This observation sounds reductive, if we consider Panjabis’
“thirst for moving”, like Praneet’s grandfather commented back in his home
village (where he hosted me in their fabulous mansion), while strolling
among vacant remittance houses (Taylor 2013). The owners had moved
abroad, chasing migratory dreams that consecrated them to the middle-class
in the homeland (Rutten, Verstappen 2014), despite the disadvantaged life
they often led as immigrants (Nieswand 2011). Over time, Kanval’s family
migration underwent significant changes with the 2008 economic crisis and
ongoing recession in the Po Plain, while the children were coming of age.
Kanval pondered sending her younger son, a turbaned and pious yet well
integrated young Sikh, “farther North17” to attend university (to Britain or

16. The unrest began after the assassination of the Prime Minister Indira Gandhi, and the
following military operation “Blue Star”, which burned down the headquarters of Sikh
guerrillas and unleashed a wave of collective violence against civilians.
17. In the last decade, for many immigrants in Italy from the Indian subcontinent,
naturalization has opened the doors to a new “motility”: secondary mobility to other
countries within the Schengen area (Fortier 2012). Nordic Europe (with its promises of
welfare) and Great Britain (envisioned postcolonial Eldorado, already inhabited by hundred
thousands of South Asian diasporas) rank at the top of further targets for southern
European Punjabis alike.

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122                                                                             SARA BONFANTI


Canada where other expats and well-off kinsmen could support him) and
reap a better future (rather than remaining in Italy as a marginalized
denizen, possibly discriminated in the labor market; Colombo and Rebughini
2012). While Kanval was a fairly devout Sikh, and cared for her children’s
religious education, she had never taken the Sikh baptism herself. That rite
was instead actively pursued by her offspring, who both sported a turban on
their unshorn head (dastar). While this Sikh icon rendered the youths more
susceptible to discrimination, much to their mother’s concern, it was
Praneet who made a point in wearing the turban. Her self-pride in being a
“Kaurageous” woman (playing the British Sikh pun, for which Kaur, the
name for baptized women, becomes a marker of feminine bravery, Singh
2011) competed with her mother’s proverbial fearlessness. There was an ill-
concealed sense of jealousy between my informants, that ran more acute
through Praneet’s efforts to live up to her mother’s high standard (whom she
ironically referred to as “my iron lady”). Yet, the span of life options for
Kanval’s elder daughter sounded quite different, both from her younger male
sibling and from her mother’s experience. It was indeed up to the young
woman to self-design her life according to contingencies, but also confronting
the rehearsal her mother had played and paved right before her.

   Praneet, the resourceful
   Praneet, who had never felt confident in her Indian-Italian condition and
spent her free time playing kirtan (liturgical chants) in the local gurdwara
(Sikh temple18), complained of being somehow “stuck” in migration (Hage
2009), in both existential and governmental terms: with little career
prospects nor easy chance of becoming naturalized (according to citizenship
assessment in Italy19, Colombo, Rebughini 2012). When I first met her four


18. Gurdware are an indispensable public space of Sikh community life, both in India and in
the Diaspora (Gallo 2012). For Praneet, the hectic and crowded Sikh temple in Cortenuova
(Bergamo province) was a place of sociability, ethnicized, but actively practiced. To her, like
many 2nd generation peers, the Sikh temple was a collective home where to hear hoary
stories and thread new ones.
19. Unless granted by blood (ius sanguinis), there is no citizenship by birth (ius soli)
operating in Italy. Immigrants wishing to apply for naturalization must have worked and
resided continuously in the country for at least 10 years. Children of immigrants may be
extended their parents’ naturalization when minor of age, once turned eighteen they may
file a request for themselves. This last, less privileged route, is the only one that Praneet
could pursue (being finally accorded Italian nationality 12 years after her first arrival in the
country as a young girl).


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SHIFTING WOMEN                                                                            123


years ago, Praneet was a short-term apprentice in a textile factory20. At the
time, she had entrusted her mother to slow down her father’s plan of
wedding her to a Sikh lad from Birmingham sponsored by her aunt. However,
she then conceded:
      I don’t look forward to getting married soon, but if I have to choose, I’d prefer
      to meet someone like me, I mean, of a similar lifestyle and that my parents ap-
      prove of. Maybe, if he lives in England, I could move up there [...] then I think
      of BabbaJi (granddad), I know he is screening guys back home [...] he raised me
      and wishes me to return and give him great-grandchildren! [Interview released
      in Praneet’s bedroom, Bergamo, on Feb. 6th 2013]

   Praneet lived her long-term but doomed immigration status with active
disquiet and imagined her future as dim, pointing to a double or a circular
migration. While she never disputed that family savings were reserved for
her brother’s third-level studies, she believed that motility for her meant a
sound marriage for which a dowry had long been set aside (Shenk 2007).
Contrary to most diasporans who surfed online “matchmaking sites”
(Bonfanti 2015a), Praneet waited for her kinsmen to supply options she
would then weigh up. In her mobility quest, marriage was not seen as a
burden, but as a chance to circumvent migration uncertainty and visa
restrictions. Precisely because of her gender (Mooney 2006), she could exert
personal agency over two combined structures: the neoliberal governance of
migrant human capital in Italy, and the patriarchal texture of diasporic
Punjabi society. In Praneet’s view, to set up her own home with the “right”
partner “elsewhere” would give her an alternative to the material and social
moorings she could not confront otherwise.
   In fact, an arranged “return marriage” orchestrated by her grandfather
and her mother herself, took Praneet back to India; in a few weeks, she
wedded a young Sikh man who was enthused by his expat bride. If that re-
rooting had locked Praneet’s routes, I could have wondered whether it was a
letdown to my friend’s motility, her capability to stay or move as she
pleased, giving in to her elders21. Instead, quite unexpectedly as it had come

20. The ghettoization of some segments of the work industry today in Italy (as elsewhere)
was evident in the demeaned job taken up by my informant. On one hand, the textile
industry has always been supported by the manual labour of women (often young, needy,
poorly qualified), on another female tailoring is a channel of employment advocated by
many migrant families (perceived as “safe and suitable for a woman”, cit. Praneet). Yet this
low-profile occupation, precipitated by the multiple marginality that my Punjabi friend
embodied, was effective towards her long-term empowerment and mobility project.
21. A western bourgeois feminist thought that I did not wish to express (fearing that my
friend would have never agreed), but that did speak loud about our “positionalities”, and
called me to cultivate “reflexivity” (Salzman 2002).

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124                                                                        SARA BONFANTI


about, that return marriage soon proved its transnational potential. Fifty
days after the wedding, Praneet went back to live with her parents in Italy,
resumed her post and filed the request to get Binhat, her newlywed husband,
reunited. For a few months, as she kept going back and forth between
Lombardy and Punjab, this practically unsettled conjugal union grew ever
steadier. By the time she got pregnant, he joined her over and temporarily
settled down with his in-laws22. The rapid followings, with Binhat finding a
job in southern Italy through the brokerage of co-ethnics and Praneet on
maternity leave, opened up new scenes for this re-novated family migration.
   The provisional epilogue of my friend’s “mobility swings” made me
cognizant of how diaspora transfers may change, halt or restart quite
abruptly. Praneet’s agreeing into a marriage that involved a “transnational
return migration” (and further internal mobility) displays a tortuous
interlacing of kin and community networks, material (dis)possessions and
normative checks. The everyday occurrences she recounted with joy or
anguish over her 25 life-years sound enmeshed in mobility regimes where
personal choices are socially mediated and structurally hooked (Glick-
Schiller, Salazar 2013). Although Praneet was born in a relatively wealthy
family (Jatt landowners in Punjab, who could consolidate their middle class
status only thanks to migratory remittances), it is her status as an expat and
her due Italian passport (read: European) which allows her to advance in the
bridal market and contract a favorable marriage with a better-off groom.
   While I could compare modes and hopes of Kanval’s and Praneet’s
mobilities, albeit their time lag cannot be ignored, it is significant to discern
in their experiences the dialogic relation between dominant discourses and
private narratives of gender roles (Thapan 2012). Both women performed
their migration trajectories aware of the social expectations linked to a
certain Punjabi “gender (hetero)normativity”, which insisted on active male
and passive female subjects (Uberoi 2006). Yet, in the frame of transnational
mobility, both came to terms with dominant views on masculinities and
femininities with alternative strategies that they clearly employed in inter-
spouse relations (Benhabib, Resnik 2009; Merhotra, Calasanti 2010). Because
of the migratory venture, whose implementation determined gender


22. This neo-residential settlement contrasts with the traditional habit of patrilocality
among Indian families (where the bride usually moves in with her in-laws ad interim,
Bonfanti 2015a). Instead, Binhat’s shift seems to align with contemporary Italian
matrilocality, which often sees the maternal grandparents more involved with their
daughter’s new household and offspring.


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SHIFTING WOMEN                                                                          125


uncertainties that urged to be steered towards the whole family’s feat,
domestic power stakes were continuously bargained23 between wife and
husband, with a tacit consent from their seniors (Agarwal 1997), and for the
sake of budding new households (Taylor 2013). The genealogical case just
explored does not only confirm the role of memory and narratives in
understanding gender and transnational families, but also suggests how such
families use and understand their memories to construct coherent narratives
of the self and kin. This methodological reflection allows a shift in
perspective: from seeing imaginaries on mobility to people’s own imagining
on the move (Cangià, Zittoun 2020).

Not an epilogue yet. A mother-daughter idle talk in transnational marriage
   Likewise other South Asian diasporas, among Punjabis, marriage or
ristedari has long been used as a vehicle in order to facilitate the
consolidation of transnational networks (Werbner 2002). This intimate
institution yields both benefits and disadvantages for the different subjects
involved, depending on the social position occupied within the family and
the role there held (Bonfanti 2016). Marriage (and the consequent reunion of
one’s spouse) is the privileged route to start a kin migratory chain: the
bridgehead opens the way to set others in motion (who depend from the
first, at least initially). The riste between Kanval and Manbir, as well as that
between Praneet and Binhat, are enacted as unique and personal
performances out of a culturally sketched plot, between contingent
adaptations to mobility regimes and historical revolutions, generational
changes and gender inequalities.
   Since Punjabi migration to Italy is essentially a family mobility (Bertolani
2012, Bonfanti 2019), an unequal regime of civic rights and stratification
affects the various kin members differently (Kraler 2010). Within a gendered
theory of citizenship and migration (Benhabib, Resnik 2009), mobility and
social integration are staged in every household, where power relations
intersect across age and gender, but also across those who move or stay put.
The ability to travel or remain is intertwined with the structural constraints
regulating spatial and social mobility, but also with the ambivalent desires
and responsibilities of those who migrate, depending on the position each
kin member occupies in the household (parivaar) and in the extended family


23. With reference to the “patriarchal bargain” as posited by Kandiyoti (1988), the cases of
my two interlocutors gave evidence to their female agency and resilience, playing their
cards in different matches where they seemed to master the rules of the game.

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126                                                                          SARA BONFANTI


(biraderi)24. Quoting Ahmed (2004), an “affective economy of desire”, linked
to the status of one’s family (related to adequate dwelling, satisfactory life
standards, enduring motility) is embedded in the dealing of transnational
marriages, but also imbued with gender rules and revolts. Spatial mobility
and social reproduction are entangled, with added contradictions and
missteps (Kofman, Raghuram 2015). Through their motherhood bond (and
mothering work) across times and locations, the narrative exchanges
between Kanval and Praneet illuminate what “transnational inter-
sectionality” is all about (Mahalingam et al. 2009). There is no “one woman
for all seasons”, but there are consistent adaptations from one female
generation to the next, that depend on the multiple positionalities (and
vulnerabilities) each woman embodied in specific social contexts. Like
Anthias (2012) elucidated, a translocational lens is vital to appreciate the
floating social hierarchies that migration circulates and transforms.
   Praneet’s return marriage, after accurate family concerns, was advised by
Kanval herself, who tried to pass on to her daughter another chance of being
a successful “mover” as she had been: in a previous time, with different
means. Praneet’s mobility agency capitalized on her unsettled emotions and
gendered marginality: what I deemed a patriarchal return marriage scored by
her mother soon shifted to a second “home come” migration, where the
young bride took the lead. Despite her precarious job and legal status (still a
long-term immigrant, grown up in Italy, but her naturalization pending),
Praneet sponsored her spouse’s reunion and turned around the male
prerogatives in starting a migratory chain (just like her mother Kanval had
done at her time, under different options and fetters). Narratives after
narratives, as spouses, mothers and daughters, I could find the “rhythm” of
their en-gendered mobility swings. Like Brettell (1999) accomplished, in
revisiting her own mother’s life story as a timeline of women’s achievements
in the Twentieth century, Praneet looked up to Kanval as a role model to
earn emancipation, but she did it her own way. That their female
empowerment was based on mobilizing a family, more than having a
political goal or pursuing personal triumphs, did not demean the sense of
attainment they felt. On the contrary, in their accounts, both women were
satisfied that they had been able to steer their kin migration and thread their
family stories.


24. In the family study considered here, the domestic unit was the hub of positive emotions,
compared to the interferences of the extended kinship (while other Punjabi diasporic
families with whom I collaborated have sometimes revealed different “affective economies”,
Bonfanti 2016, 2019).


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SHIFTING WOMEN                                                                      127


   As the train was slowly reaching its destination, Praneet smiled confidently
to her baby daughter and calmed her wailing “Quiet, cheer up, Principessa,
we’re almost home (...) NaniJi (revered mother) is waiting for us”. Said so,
she snatched a picture of us all and posted it to Kanval via WhatsApp (see
footnote n.4). Whether itinerant or landlocked, the worth of female
genealogy (the value in female kinship ties) seemed to give coherence to the
affective economies migrant women forged. Transnational marriage may
still be a gender-skewed practice to get one to move and seek to a better life
elsewhere. Yet, not only do women always play active roles in this “kinning”
performance (the making of kinship itself Sahlins 2013), but they may also
build upon their gender-bond to lead family mobilities, from one generation
to the next. Facing creative challenges to racialized citizenship (Umut,
Reynolds 2019) and prospecting a third generation under one roof, my friend
anticipated the chance for little Meera, her baby daughter, to gain Italian
citizenship soon, as nationality rules were currently being revised and some
recognition of ius soli might grant all newborns, irrespective of ascendancy
and despite the ‘lottery of birth’ (Arora 2017), the equal right to be and to
move, to choose where, with whom and how to make one’s (at) home25. As
Nett (1971) stated long before the frenzy over mass migration became a
major political concern, perhaps the freedom of movement, without
conditions nor hierarchies, is the ultimate “civil right” for which humanity,
crushed by the regime of national sovereignty and harpooned in multiple
inequalities across transnational borders (Faist 2019), is not ready, yet. From
many places across the world though, there are thousands of people, women
and men, elders and youngsters, trying to walk their way; not the least,
mothers and daughters, whose intergenerational narratives may literally
craft social changes in the making.




25. This issue applied to the times of my happenstance encounter with Praneet, when the
Italian Parliament was debating the option of ius culturae (i.e. granting citizenship to
children of immigrants born abroad, but schooled in Italy for at least five years).
Regrettably, since the leading Parties shifted towards right xenophobic attitudes, such
proposal has been discarded until further notice.

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128                                                                       SARA BONFANTI


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SHIFTING WOMEN                                                                     131


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2020 | ANUAC. VOL. 9, N° 1, GIUGNO 2020: 111-133
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 Sara BONFANTI, Research Fellow at the University of Trento, is a social anthropologist
 with expertise on South Asian diasporas. She has conducted multisite fieldwork
 between Italy and India, analyzing gender and generational change among Punjabi
 transnational families. Visiting fellow at the Max Planck Insitute for the Study of
 Religious and Ethnic Diversity, Göttingen since 2017 she collaborates within the
 ERC HOMInG Project, investigating the home-migration nexus across European
 cities. Keen on participatory methods, her interests include kinship, religious
 pluralism and media cultures, approached through inter-sectionality and life-
 stories. She has published widely in Italian and English, and recently co-authored
 Ethnographies of Home and Mobility: Shifting Roofs for Routledge.
 sara.bonfanti@unitn.it




This work is licensed under the Creative Commons © Sara Bonfanti
