Chapter 8 of the Journal of John Willman. 1761-1762 Visits Pennsylvania, Shrewsbury, and Squan. Publishes the second part of his considerations on keeping Negroes. The grounds of his appearing in some respects singular in his dress. Visits to the families of friends of Angokas and Mount Holly meetings. Visits to the Indians at Wee Hallucing on the river Sesquihanna. Having felt my mind drawn towards a visit to a few meetings in Pennsylvania, I was very desirous to be rightly instructed as to the time of setting off. On the tenth of the fifth month, 1761, being the first day of the week, I went to Haddonfield meeting, concluding to seek for heavenly instruction and come home, or go on as I might then believe best for me, and there through the springing up of pure love I felt encouragement, and so crossed the river. In this visit I was at two quarterly and three monthly meetings, and in the love of truth I felt my way open to labor with some noted friends who kept Negroes. As I was favored to keep to the root, and endeavored to discharge what I believed was required of me, I found inward peace therein, from time to time, and thankfulness of heart to the Lord, who was graciously pleased to be a guide to me. Eighth month, 1761, having felt drawings in my mind to visit friends in and about Shrewsbury, I went there, and was at their monthly meeting and their first-day meeting. I had also a meeting at Squan, and another at Squanquam, and, as way opened, had conversation with some noted friends concerning their slaves. I returned home in a thankful sense of the goodness of the Lord. From the concern I felt growing in me for some years I wrote part the second of a work entitled Considerations on Keeping Negroes, which was printed this year, 1762. When the overseers of the press had done with it, they offered to get a number printed to be paid for out of the yearly meeting's stock to be given away. But I, being most easy to publish it at my own expense, and offering my reasons, they appeared satisfied. This stock is the contribution of the members of our religious society in general, among whom are some who keep Negroes, and, being inclined to continue them in slavery, are not likely to be satisfied with such books being spread among a people, especially at their own expense, many of whose slaves are taught to read, and such, receiving them as a gift, often conceal them. But as they who make a purchase generally by that which they have a mind for, I believed it best to sell them, expecting by that means they would more generally be read with attention. Advertisements were signed by order of the overseers of the press, and directed to be read in the monthly meetings of business within our own yearly meeting, informing where the books were, and that the price was no more than the cost of printing and binding them. Many were taken off in our parts, some I sent to Virginia, some to New York, some to my acquaintance at Newport, and some I kept intending to give part of them away, where there appeared a prospect of service. In my youth I was used to hard labor, and though I was middling healthy, yet my nature was not fitted to endure so much as many others. Being often weary, I was prepared to sympathize with those whose circumstances in life, as free men, required constant labor to answer the demands of their creditors, as well as with others under oppression. In the uneasiness of body which I have many times felt by too much labor, not as a forced, but of a voluntary oppression, I have often been excited to think on the original cause of that oppression which is imposed on many in the world. The latter part of the time wherein I labored on our plantation, my heart, through the fresh visitations of heavenly love, being often tender, and my leisure time being frequently spent in reading the life and doctrines of our blessed Redeemer, the account of the sufferings of martyrs, and the history of the first rise of our society, a belief was gradually settled in my mind that if such as had great estates generally lived in that humility and plainness which belonged to a Christian life and laid much easier rents and interests on their lands and monies, and thus led the way to a right use of things so great a number of people might be employed in things useful, that labor both for men and other creatures need to be no more than an ingreable employ, and divers branches of business which serve chiefly to please the natural inclinations of our minds, and which at present seem necessary to circulate that wealth which some gather might, in this way of pure wisdom, be discontinued. As I have thus considered these things a query at times hath arisen. Do I, in all my proceedings, keep to that use of things which is agreeable to universal righteousness? And then there hath some degree of sadness at times come over me because I accustomed myself to some things which have occasioned more labor than I believe divine wisdom intended for us. From my early acquaintance with truth I have often felt an inward distress occasioned by the striving of a spirit in me against the operation of the heavenly principle, and in this state I have been affected with a sense of my own wretchedness, and in a mourning condition have felt earnest longing for that divine help which brings the soul into true liberty. Sometimes, on retiring into private places, the spirit of supplication hath been given me, and under a heavenly covering I have asked my gracious father to give me a heart in all things resigned to the direction of his wisdom. In uttering language like this the thought of my wearing hats and garments dyed with a dye hurtful to them has made lasting impression on me. In visiting people of note in the society who had slaves and laboring with them in brotherly love on that account I have seen and the sight has affected me that a conformity to some customs distinguishable from pure wisdom has entangled many and that the desire of gain to support these customs has greatly opposed the work of truth. Sometimes when the prospect of the work before me has been such that in bowedness of spirit I have been drawn into retired places and have besought the Lord with tears that he would take me wholly under his direction and show me the way in which I ought to walk, it hath revived with strength of conviction that if I would be his faithful servant I must in all things attend to his wisdom and be teachable and so cease from all customs contrary thereto however used among religious people. As he is the perfection of power, of wisdom, and of goodness so I believe he hath provided that so much labour shall be necessary for men's support in this world as would, being rightly divided, be a suitable employment of their time, and that we cannot go into superfluities or grasp after wealth in a way contrary to his wisdom without having connection with some degree of oppression and with that spirit which leads to self-exaltation and strife and which frequently brings calamities on countries by parties contending about their claims. Being thus fully convinced and feeling an increasing desire to live in the spirit of peace I have often been sorrowfully affected with thinking on the unquiet spirit in which wars are generally carried on and with the miseries of many of my fellow creatures engaged therein, some suddenly destroyed, some wounded, and after much pain remaining cripples, some deprived of all their outward substance and reduced to want, and some carried into captivity. Thinking often on these things the use of hats and garments dyed with a dye hurtful to them, and wearing more clothes in summer than are useful, grew more uneasy to me, believing them to be customs which have not their foundation in pure wisdom. The apprehension of being singular from my beloved friends was a great upon me, and thus I continued in the use of some things contrary to my judgment. On the thirty-first of the fifth month, seventeen sixty-one, I was taken ill of a fever, and after it had continued near a week I was in great distress of body. One day there was a cry raised in me that I might understand the cause of my affliction and improve under it, and my conformity to some customs which I believed were not right was brought to my remembrance. In the continuance of this exercise I felt all the powers in me yield themselves up into the hands of him who gave me being, and was made thankful that he had taken hold of me by his chastisements. Feeling the necessity of further purifying there was now no desire in me for health until the design of my correction was answered. Thus I lay in a basement and brokenness of spirit, and as I felt a sinking down into a calm resignation so I felt as in an instant an inward healing in my nature, and from that time forward I grew better. Though my mind was thus settled in relation to hurtful dyes I felt easy to wear my garments heretofore made, and continued to do so about nine months. Then I thought of getting a hat the natural colour of the fur, but the apprehension of being looked upon as one affecting singularity felt uneasy to me. Here I had occasion to consider that things, though small in themselves, being clearly enjoined by divine authority, become great things to us, and I trusted that the Lord would support me in the trials that might attend singularity so long as singularity was only for his sake. On this account I was under close exercise of mind in the time of our general spring meeting, 1762, greatly desiring to be rightly directed when, being deeply bowed in spirit before the Lord, I was made willing to submit to what I apprehended was required of me, and when I returned home got a hat of the natural colour of the fur. In attending meetings this singularity was a trial to me, and more especially at this time, as white hats were used by some who were fond of following the changeable modes of dress, and as some friends who knew not from what motives I wore it grew shy of me, I felt my way for a time shut up in the exercise of the ministry. In this condition my mind being turned toward my heavenly father with fervent cries that I might be preserved to walk before him in the meekness of wisdom, my heart was often tender in meetings, and I felt an inward consolation which to me was very precious under these difficulties. I had several dyed garments fit for use which I believed it best to wear till I had occasion for new ones. Some friends were apprehensive that my wearing such a hat savoured of an affected singularity. Those who spoke with me in a friendly way I generally informed, in a few words, that I believed my wearing it was not in my own will. I had at times been sensible that a superficial friendship had been dangerous to me, and many friends, being now uneasy with me, I had an inclination to acquaint some with the manner of my being led into these things. Yet upon a deeper thought I was for a time most easy to omit it, believing the present dispensation was profitable, and trusting that if I kept my place the Lord in his own time would open the hearts of friends towards me. I have since had cause to admire his goodness and loving-kindness in leading about and instructing me, and in opening and enlarging my heart in some of our meetings. In the eleventh month this year, feeling an engagement of mind to visit some families in Mansfield, I joined my beloved friend Benjamin Jones, and we spent a few days together in that service. In the second month, seventeen sixty-three, I joined in the company with Elizabeth Smith and Mary Noble in a visit to the families of friends at Ang Kokas. In both these visits, through the baptizing power of truth, the sincere laborers were often comforted, and the hearts of friends opened to receive us. In the fourth month following, I accompanied some friends in a visit to the families of friends in Mount Holly. During this visit my mind was often drawn into an inward awfulness, wherein strong desires were raised for the everlasting welfare of my fellow-creatures, and through the kindness of our heavenly father our hearts were at times enlarged, and friends were invited and the flowings of divine love to attend to that which would settle them on the shore foundation. Having for many years felt love in my heart towards the natives of this land who dwell far back in the wilderness, whose ancestors were formerly the owners and possessors of the land where we dwell, and who for a small consideration assigned their inheritance to us, and being at Philadelphia in the eighth month, seventeen sixty-one, on a visit to some friends who had slaves, I fell in company with some of those natives who lived on the east branch of the river Sesquihanna at an Indian town called Wehalosing, two hundred miles from Philadelphia. In conversation with them by an interpreter, as also by observations on their countenances and conduct, I believed some of them were measurably acquainted with that divine power which subjects the rough and forward will of the creature. At times I felt inward drawings towards a visit to that place, which I mentioned to none except my dear wife, until it came to some ripeness. In the winter of seventeen sixty-two I laid my prospects before my friends at our monthly and quarterly, and afterwards at our general spring meeting, and having the unity of friends and being thoughtful about an Indian pilot, there came a man and three women from a little beyond that town to Philadelphia on business. Being informed thereof by letter, I met them in town in the fifth month, seventeen sixty-three, and after some conversation finding they were sober people, I, with the concurrence of friends in that place, agreed to join them as companions in their return, and we appointed to meet at Samuel Folks, at Richland, in Bucks County, on the seventh of sixth month. Now as this visit felt weighty and was performed at a time when traveling appeared perilous, so the dispensations of divine providence and preparing my mind for it have been memorable, and I believe it good for me to give some account thereof. After I had given up to go, the thoughts of the journey were often attended with unusual sadness, at which times my heart was frequently turned to the Lord with inward breathings for his heavenly support, that I might not fail to follow him where soever he might lead me. Being at our youth's meeting at Chesterfield, about a week before the time I expected to set off, I was there led to speak on that prayer of our Redeemer to the Father. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. And, in attending to the pure openings of truth, I had to mention what he elsewhere said to his Father. I know that thou hearest me at all times. So as some of his followers kept their places, and as his prayer was granted, it followed necessarily that they were kept from evil, and as some of those met with great hardships and afflictions in this world, and at last suffered death by cruel men, so it appears that whatsoever befalls men while they live in pure obedience to God certainly works for their good, and may not be considered an evil as it relates to them. As I spake on this subject, my heart was much tendered, and great awfulness came over me. On the first day of the week, being at our own afternoon meeting, and my heart being enlarged in love, I was led to speak on the care and protection of the Lord over his people, and to make mention of that passage were a band of Syrians who were endeavouring to take captive the Prophet were disappointed, and how the Psalmist said, The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him. Thus, in true love and tenderness, I parted from friends, expecting the next morning to proceed on my journey. Being weary, I went early to bed. After I had been asleep a short time, I was awoke by a man calling at my door, and inviting me to meet some friends at a public house in our town, who came from Philadelphia so late that friends were generally gone to bed. These friends informed me that an express had arrived the last morning from Pittsburgh, and brought news that the Indians had taken a fort from the English westward, and had slain and scalped some English people near the said Pittsburgh, and in diverse places. Some elderly friends in Philadelphia, knowing the time of my intending to set off, had conferred together, and thought good to inform me of these things before I left home, that I might consider them and proceed as I believed best. Going to bed again I told not my wife till morning. My heart was turned to the Lord for his heavenly instruction, and it was an humbling time to me. When I told my dear wife, she appeared to be deeply concerned about it, but in a few hours time my mind became settled in a belief that it was my duty to proceed on my journey, and she bore it with a good degree of resignation. In this conflict of spirit there were great searchings of heart and strong cries to the Lord that no motion might in the least degree be attended to but that of the pure spirit of truth. The subjects before mentioned, on which I had so lately spoken in public, were now fresh before me, and I was brought inwardly to commit myself to the Lord, to be disposed of as he saw best. I took leave of my family and neighbors in much bowedness of spirit, and went to our monthly meeting at Burlington. After taking leave of friends there I crossed the river, accompanied by my friends Israel and John Pemberton, and parting the next morning with Israel, John bore me with the company to Samuel Folks, where I met the before mentioned Indians, and we were glad to see each other. Here my friend Benjamin Parvin met me, and proposed joining me as a companion. We had before exchanged some letters on the subject, and now I had a sharp trial on his account, for as the journey appeared perilous I thought if he went chiefly to bear me company, and we should be taken captive, my having been the means of drawing him into these difficulties would add to my own afflictions. So I told him my mind freely, and let him know that I was resigned to go alone. But after all, if he really believed it to be his duty to go on, I believed his company would be very comfortable to go on. It was indeed a time of deep exercise, and Benjamin appeared to be so fastened to the visit that he could not be easy to leave me. So we went on, accompanied by our friends John Pemberton and William Lightfoot of Pikeland. We lodged at Bethlehem, and there parting with John, William and we went forward on the ninth of the sixth month, and got lodging on the floor of a house about five miles from Fort Allen. Here we parted with William, and at this place we met with an Indian trader lately come from Wyoming. In conversation with him I perceived that many white people often sell rum to the Indians, which I believe is a great evil. In the first place they are thereby deprived of the use of reason, and their spirits being violently agitated, quarrels often arise which end in mischief, and the bitterness and resentment occasioned hereby are frequently of long continuance. Again their skins and furs, gotten through much fatigue and hard travels in hunting, with which they intended to buy clothing, they often sell at a low rate for more rum when they become intoxicated, and afterward, when they suffer for want of the necessaries of life, are angry with those who, for the sake of gain, took advantage of their weakness. Their chiefs have often complained of this in their treaties with the English, where cunning people pass counterfeits and impose on others that which is good for nothing. It is considered as wickedness, but for the sake of gain to sell that which we know does people harm, and which often works their ruin, manifests a hardened and corrupt heart, and is an evil which demands the care of all true lovers of virtue to suppress. While my mind this evening was thus employed I also remembered that the people on the frontiers, among whom this evil is too common, are often poor, and that they venture to the outside of a colony in order to live more independently of the wealthy, who often set high rents on their land. I was renewably confirmed in a belief that if all our inhabitants lived according to sound wisdom, laboring to promote universal love and righteousness, and ceased from every inordinate desire after wealth, and from all customs which are tinctured with luxury, the way would be easy for our inhabitants, though they might be much more numerous than at present, to live comfortably on honest employments, without the temptation they are so often under of being drawn into schemes to make settlements on lands which have not been purchased of the Indians, or of applying to that wicked practice of selling rum to them. Tenth of Sixth Month We set out early this morning and crossed the western branch of Delaware, called the Great Lehigh, near Fort Allen. The water being high we went over in a canoe, here we met an Indian, had friendly conversation with him, and gave him some biscuit, and he, having killed a deer, gave some of it to the Indians with us. After travelling some miles we met several Indian men and women with a cow and horse, and some household goods, who were lately come from their dwelling at Wyoming, and were going to settle at another place. We made them some small presence, and as some of them understood English, I told them my motive for coming into their country, with which they appeared satisfied. One of our guides talking a while with an ancient woman concerning us, the poor old woman came to my companion and me, and took her leave of us with an appearance of sincere affection. We pitched our tent near the banks of the same river, having laboured hard in crossing some of those mountains, called the Blue Ridge. The roughness of the stones and the cavities between them, with the steepness of the hills, made it appear dangerous. But we were preserved in safety through the kindness of him whose works in these mountainous deserts appeared awful, and towards whom my heart was turned during this day's travel. Near our tent, on the sides of large trees, peeled for that purpose, were various representations of men going to and returning from the wars, and of some being killed in battle. This was a path here to foreused by warriors, and as I walked about viewing those Indian histories, which were painted mostly in red or black, and thinking on the innumerable afflictions which the proud fierce spirit produced in the world. Also on the toils and fatigues of warriors and travelling over mountains and deserts, on their miseries and distresses, when far from home and wounded by their enemies, of their bruises and great weariness in chasing one another over the rocks and mountains, of the restless, unquiet state of mind of those who live in this spirit, and of the hatred which mutually grows up in the minds of their children, the desire to cherish the spirit of love and peace among these people arose very fresh in me. This was the first night that we lodged in the woods, and being wet with travelling in the rain, as were also our blankets, the ground, our tent, and the bushes under which we purposed to lay, all looked discouraging. But I believed that it was the Lord who had thus far brought me forward, and that he would dispose of me as he saw good, and so I felt easy. We kindled a fire with our tent open to it, then laid some bushes next to the ground, and put our blankets upon them for our bed, and lying down got some sleep. In the morning, feeling a little unwell, I went into the river. The water was cold, but soon after I felt fresh and well. About eight o'clock we set forward and crossed a high mountain, supposed to be upward of four miles over, the north side being the steepest. About noon we were overtaken by one of the Moravian brethren going to Wehaloosing, and an Indian man with him who could talk English. And we being together while our horses ate grass had some friendly conversation, but they, travelling faster than we, soon left us. This Moravian, I understood, has this spring spent some time at Wehaloosing and was invited by some of the Indians to come again. Twelfth of sixth month, being the first of the week and a rainy day, we continued in our tent, and I was led to think on the nature of the exercise which hath attended me. Love was the first motion, and thence a concern arose to spend some time with the Indians, that I might feel and understand their life and the spirit they live in, if happily I might receive some instruction from them, or they might be in any degree helped forward by my following the leadings of truth among them. And as it pleased the Lord to make way for my going at a time when the troubles of war were increasing, and when, by reason of much wet weather, travelling was more difficult than usual at that season, I looked upon it as a more favourable opportunity to season my mind and to bring me into a nearer sympathy with them. As mine I was to the great father of mercies, humbly desiring to learn his will concerning me, I was made quiet and content. Our guides hoarse strayed, though hoppled in the night, and after searching some time for him his footsteps were discovered in the path going back, whereupon my kind companion went off in the rain, and after about seven hours returned with him. Here we lodged again, tying up our horses before we went to bed, and loosing them to feed about break of day. Thirteenth of Sixth Month The sun appearing we set forward, and as I rode over the barren hills my meditations were on the alterations in the circumstances of the natives of this land since coming in of the English. The lands near the sea are conveniently situated for fishing. The lands near the rivers where the tides flow and some above are in many places fertile and not mountainous, while the changing of the tides makes passing up and down easy with any kind of traffic. The natives have in some places for trifling considerations sold their inheritance so favorably situated, and in other places have been driven back by superior force. Their way of clothing themselves is also altered from what it was, and they being far removed from us have to pass over mountains, swamps, and barren deserts, so that travelling is very troublesome in bringing their skins and furs to trade with us. By the extension of English settlements, and partly by the increase of English hunters, the wild beasts on which the natives chiefly depend for substance are not so plentiful as they were, and people too often for the sake of gain induce them to waste their skins and furs in purchasing a liquor which tends to the ruin of them and their families. My own will and desires were now very much broken, and my heart was with much earnestness turned to the Lord, to whom alone I looked for help in the dangers before me. I had a prospect of the English along the coast for upwards of nine hundred miles where I travelled, and their favourable situation and the difficulties attending the natives as well as the negroes in many places were open before me. A weighty and heavenly care came over my mind, and love filled my heart towards all mankind, in which I felt a strong engagement that we might be obedient to the Lord while in tender mercy he is yet calling to us, and that we might so attend to pure universal righteousness as to give no just cause of offence to the Gentiles and who do not profess Christianity whether they be the blacks from Africa or the native inhabitants of this continent. Here I was led into a close and laborious inquiry whether I, as an individual, kept clear from all things which tended to stir up or were connected with wars either in this land or in Africa. My heart was deeply concerned that in future I might in all things keep steadily to the pure truth and live and walk in the plainness and simplicity of a sincere follower of Christ. In this lonely journey I did greatly bewail the spreading of a wrong spirit, believing that the prosperous, convenient situation of the English would require a constant attention in us to divine love and wisdom in order to there being guided and supported in a way answerable to the will of that good, gracious and almighty being who hath an equal regard to all mankind. And here luxury and covetousness with the numerous oppressions and other evils attending them appeared very afflicting to me, and I felt in that which is immutable that the seeds of great calamity and desolation are sown and growing fast on this continent. Nor have I words sufficient to set forth the longing I then felt that we who are placed along the coast and have tasted the love and goodness of God might arise in the strength thereof, and like faithful messengers labor to check the growth of these seeds that they may not ripen to the ruin of our posterity. On reaching the Indian settlement at Wyoming, we were told that an Indian runner had been at that place a day or two before us, and brought news of the Indians having taken an English fort westward and destroyed the people, and that they were endeavoring to take another. Also that another Indian runner came there about the middle of the previous night from a town about ten miles from Wee Hallucing, and brought the news that some Indian warriors from distant parts came to that town with two English scalps and told the people that it was war with the English. Our guides took us to the house of a very ancient man.  Perceiving there was a man near the door, I went out. The man had a tomahawk wrapped under his matchcoat out of sight. As I approached him he took it in his hand. I went forward, and speaking to him in a friendly way, perceived he understood some English. My companion joining me, we had some talk with him concerning the nature of our visit in these parts. He then went into the house with us, and talking with our guides soon appeared friendly, sat down and smoked his pipe. Though taking his hatchet in his hand at the instant I drew near to him had a disagreeable appearance, I believe he had no other intent than to be in readiness in case any violence were offered to him. On hearing the news brought by these Indian runners, and being told by the Indians where we lodged, that the Indians about Wyoming expected in a few days to move to some larger towns, I thought to all outward appearance it would be dangerous traveling at this time. After a hard day's journey I was brought into a painful exercise at night, and which I had to trace back and view the steps I had taken from my first moving in the visit. And though I had to be well some weakness which at times had attended me, yet I could not find that I had ever given way to willful disobedience. Believing I had, under a sense of duty, come this far. I was now earnest in spirit, beseeching the Lord to show me what I ought to do. In this great distress I grew jealous of myself, lest the desire of reputation as a man firmly settled to persevere through dangers, where the fear of disgrace from my returning without performing the visit might have some place in me. Full of these thoughts I lay great part of the night, while my beloved companion slept by me, till the Lord, my gracious Father, who saw the conflicts of my soul, was pleased to give quietness.  Fourteenth of Sixth Month. We sought out and visited all the Indians hereabouts that we could meet with, in number about twenty. They were chiefly in one place, about a mile from where we lodged. I expressed to them the care I had on my mind for their good, and told them that true love had made me willing, thus to leave my family, to come and see the Indians and speak with them in their houses. Some of them appeared kind and friendly. After taking leave of them, we went up the river Sasquahana, about three miles, to the house of an Indian called Jacob January. He had killed his hog, and the women were making store of bread and preparing to move up the river. Here our pilots had left their canoe when they came down in the spring, and lying dry it had become leaky. This detained us some hours, so that we had a good deal of friendly conversation with the family, and eating dinner with them we made them some small presents.  We swam them over a creek called Lahawahamuk, and pitched our tent above it in the evening. And a sense of God's goodness in helping me in my distress, sustaining me under trials, and inclining my heart to trust in him, I lay down in an humble bowed frame of mind, and had a comfortable night's lodging. Fifteenth of Sixth Month We proceeded forward till the afternoon when, a storm appearing, we met our canoe at an appointed place and stayed all night, the rain continuing so heavy that it beat through our tent and wet both us and our baggage. The next day we found abundance of trees blown down by the storm yesterday, and had occasion reverently to consider the kind dealings of the Lord who provided a safe place for us in a valley while this storm continued. We were much hindered by the trees which had fallen across our path, and in some swamps our way was so stopped that we got through with extreme difficulty. I had this day often to consider myself as a sojourner in this world. A belief in the all sufficiency of God to support his people in their pilgrimage felt comfortable to me, and I was industriously employed to get to a state of perfect resignation. We seldom saw our canoe, but at appointed places, by reason of the path going off from the river. This afternoon Job Chilaway, an Indian from Wehaloosing who talks good English and is acquainted with several people in and about Philadelphia, met our people on the river. Understanding where we expected to lodge he pushed back about six miles and came to us after night, and in a while our own canoe arrived, it being hard work pushing up the stream. Job told us that an Indian came in haste to their town yesterday, and told them that three warriors from a distance lodged in a town above Wehaloosing a few nights past, and that these three men were going against the English at Uniata. Job was going down the river to the province store at Chamokin. Though I was so far favoured with health as to continue travelling, yet through the various difficulties in our journey, and the very different way of living from which I had been used to, I grew sick. The news of these warriors being on their march so near us and not knowing whether we might not fall in with them was a fresh trial of my faith. And though through the strength of divine love I had several times been enabled to commit myself to the divine disposal, I still found the want of a renewal of my strength that I might be able to persevere therein, and my cries for help were put up to the Lord who, in great mercy, gave me a resigned heart in which I found quietness. Parting from Job chill away on the seventeenth, we went on and reached Wehaloosing about the middle of the afternoon. The first Indian that we saw was a woman of a modest countenance, with a Bible, who spake first to our guide, and then, with an harmonious voice, expressed her gladness at seeing us, having before heard of our coming. By the direction of our guide we sat down on a log while he went to the town to tell the people we were come. My companion and I, sitting thus together, in a deep inward stillness, the poor woman came and sat near us, and, great awfulness coming over us, we rejoiced in a sense of God's love manifest to our poor souls. After a while we heard a conch shell blow several times, and then came John Curtis and another Indian man, who kindly invited us into a house near the town where we found about sixty people sitting in silence. After sitting with them a short time I stood up, and in some tenderness of spirit acquainted them in a few short sentences with the nature of my visit, and that a concern for their good had made me willing to come thus far to see them, which some of them understanding interpreted to the others, and there appeared gladness among them. I then showed them my certificate, which was explained to them, and the Moravian who overtook us on the way, being now here, bade me welcome. But the Indians knowing that this Moravian and I were of different religious societies, and as some of their people had encouraged him to come and stay a while with them, they were, I believe, concerned that there might be no jarring or discord in their meetings. And having, I suppose, conferred together, they acquainted me that the people at my request would at any time come together and hold meetings. They also told me that they expected the Moravian would speak in their settled meetings, which are commonly held in the morning and near evening. So finding liberty in my heart to speak to the Moravian, I told them of the care I felt on my mind for the good of these people, and my belief that no ill effects would follow if I sometimes spake in their meetings when love engaged me there too, without calling them together at times when they did not meet, of course. He expressed his good will towards my speaking at any time all that I found in my heart to say. On the evening of the eighteenth I was at their meeting where pure gospel love was felt, to the tendering of some of our hearts. The interpreters endeavored to acquaint the people with what I said in short sentences, but found some difficulty as none of them were quite perfect in the English and Delaware tongues. So they helped one another, and we labored along, divine love attending. Afterwards, feeling my mind covered with the spirit of prayer, I told the interpreters that I found it in my heart to pray to God, and believed if I prayed a rite he would hear me. And I expressed my willingness for them to omit interpreting, so our meeting ended with a degree of divine love. Before the people went out, I observed Papunehang, the man who had been zealous and laboring for a reformation in that town, being then very tender. Speaking to one of the interpreters, I was afterwards told that he said in substance as follows, I love to feel where words come from. Nineteenth of sixth month and first of the week. This morning the Indian who came with the Moravian, being also a member of that society, prayed in the meeting, and then the Moravian spake a short time to the people. In the afternoon my heart being filled with a heavenly care for their good, I spake to them a while by interpreters. But none of them being perfect in the work, and I feeling the current of love run strong, told the interpreters that I believed some of the people would understand me, and so I proceeded without them. And I believe the Holy Ghost wrought on some hearts to edification where all the words were not understood. I looked upon it as a time of divine favour, and my heart was tendered and truly thankful before the Lord. After I sat down, one of the interpreters seemed spirited to give the Indians the substance of what I said. Before our first meeting this morning I was led to meditate on the manifold difficulties of these Indians who, by the permission of the six nations, dwell in these parts. A near sympathy with them was raised in me, and my heart being enlarged in the love of Christ. I thought that the affectionate care of a good man, for his only brother in affliction, does not exceed what I then felt for that people. I came to this place through much trouble, and though through the mercies of God I believed that if I died in the journey it would be well with me. Yet the thoughts of falling into the hands of Indian warriors were, in times of weakness, afflicting to me. And being of a tender constitution of body, the thoughts of captivity among them were also grievous. Supposing that as they were strong and hearty they might demand service of me beyond what I could well bear. But the Lord alone was my keeper, and I believed that if I went into captivity it would be for some good end. Thus, from time to time my mind was centered in resignation, in which I always found quietness. And this day, though I had the same dangerous wilderness between me and home, I was inwardly joyful that the Lord had strengthened me to come on this visit, and had manifested a fatherly care over me in my poor, lowly condition when, in my known eyes, I appeared inferior to many among the Indians. When the last mentioned meeting was ended, it being night, Papa Nuhang went to bed, and hearing him speak with a harmonious voice I suppose for a minute or two I asked the interpreter, who told me that he was expressing his thankfulness to God for the favors he had received that day, and prayed that he could continue to favor him with the same, which he had experienced in that meeting. Though Papa Nuhang had before agreed to receive the Moravian and join with them, he still appeared kind and loving to us. I was at two meetings on the twentieth, and silent in them. The following morning, in meeting, my heart was enlarged in pure love among them, and in short plain sentences I expressed several things that rested upon me, which one of the interpreters gave the people pretty readily. The meeting ended in supplication, and I had cause humbly to acknowledge the loving kindness of the Lord towards us, and then I believed that a door remained open for the faithful disciples of Jesus Christ to labor among these people. And now, feeling my mind at liberty to return, I took leave of them in general at the conclusion of what I said in the meeting. And we then prepared to go homeward. But some of their most active men told us that when we were ready to move the people would choose to come and shake hands with us. Those who usually came to meeting did so. And from a secret draught in my mind I went among some who did not usually go to meeting, and took my leave of them also. The Moravian and his Indian interpreter appeared respectful to us at parting. This town, we Hallucing, stands on the bank of the Sesquihanna, and consists, I believe, of about forty houses, mostly compact together, some about thirty feet long, and eighteen wide, some bigger, some less. They are built mostly of split plank, one end being set in the ground, and the other pinned to a plate on which rafters are laid, and then covered with bark. I understand a great flood last winter overflowed the greater part of the ground where the town stands, and some were now about moving their houses to higher ground. We expected only two Indians to be of our company, but when we were ready to go we found many of them were going to Bethlehem with skins and furs, and chose to go in company with us. So they loaded two canoes in which they desired us to go, telling us that the waters were so raised with the rains that the horses should be taken by such as were better acquainted with the fording places. We therefore, with several Indians, went in the canoes, and others went on horses, there being seven besides ours. We met with the horsemen once on the way by appointment, and at night we lodged a little below a branch called Tancana, and some of the young men, going out a little before dusk with their guns, brought in a deer. Through diligence we reached Wyoming before night, the twenty-second, and understood that the Indians were mostly gone from this place. We went up a small creek into the woods with our canoes and pitching our tent, carried out our baggage, and before dark our horses came to us. Next morning the horses being loaded and our baggage prepared, we set forward, being in all fourteen, and with diligent traveling were favored to get near halfway to Fort Allen. The land on this road from Wyoming to our frontier being mostly poor, and good grass being scarce, the Indians chose a piece of low ground to Lajom as the best for grazing. I had sweat much in traveling, and being weary slept soundly. In the night I perceived that I had taken cold, of which I was favored soon to get better. Twenty-fourth of sixth month. This day we passed Fort Allen and lodged near it in the woods. We forded the westerly branch of the Delaware three times, which was a shorter way than going over the top of the Blue Mountains called the Second Ridge. In the second time of fording where the river cuts through the mountain, the waters being rapid and pretty deep, my companion's mare, being a tall, tractable animal, was sundry times driven back through the river, being laden with the burdens of some small horses which were thought unable to come through with their loads. The troubles westward and the difficulty for Indians to pass through our frontier was, I apprehend, one reason why so many came, expecting that our being in company would prevent the outside inhabitants being surprised. We reached Bethlehem on the twenty-fifth, taking care to keep foremost, and to acquaint people on and near the road who these Indians were. This we found very needful, for their frontier inhabitants were often alarmed at the report of the English being killed by Indians westward. Among our company were some whom I did not remember to have seen at meeting, and some of these at first were very reserved, but we being several days together and behaving in a friendly manner towards them, and making them suitable return for the services they did us, they became more free and sociable. Having carefully endeavored to settle all affairs with the Indians, relative to our journey, we took leave of them, and I thought they generally parted from us affectionately. We went forward to Richland and had a very comfortable meeting among our friends, it being the first day of the week. Here I parted with my kind friend and companion, Benjamin Parvin, accompanied by my friend Samuel Folk, we rode to John Cadwell Otters, from whence I reached home the next day, and found my family tolerably well. They and my friends appeared glad to see me return from a journey which they apprehended would be dangerous, but my mind while I was out had been so employed in striving for perfect resignation, and had so often been confirmed in a belief that whatever the Lord might be pleased to allot for me, it would work for good, that I was careful lest I should admit any degree of selfishness in being glad over much, and labored to improve by those trials in such a manner as my gracious Father and Protector designed. Between the English settlements and Weha-Lucing we had only a narrow path, which in many places is much grown up with bushes, and interrupted by abundance of trees lying across it. These, together with the mountain swamps and rough stones, made it a difficult road to travel, and the more so because rattlesnakes abound here, of which we killed four. People who have never been in such places have but an imperfect idea of them, and I was not patience, but also made thankful to God, who thus let about and instructed me, that I might have a quick and lively feeling of the afflictions of my fellow creatures whose situation in life is difficult. End of Chapter 8 Chapter 9 of The Journal of John Woolman This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Journal of John Woolman by John Woolman Chapter 9 1763-1769 Religious conversation with a company met to see the tricks of a juggler, account of John Smith's advice and of the proceedings of a committee at the yearly meeting in 1764, contemplations on the nature of true wisdom. Visit to the families of friends at Mount Holly, Mansfield, and Burlington and to the meetings on the sea coast from Cape May towards Squan, some account of Joseph Nichols and his followers, on the different state of the first settlers in Pennsylvania who depended on their own labor compared with those of the southern provinces who kept Negroes. Visit to the northern parts of New Jersey and the western parts of Maryland and Pennsylvania. Also to the families of friends at Mount Holly and several parts of Maryland. Further considerations on keeping slaves and his concern for having been a party to the sale of one. Boughts on friends exercising offices in civil government. The latter part of the summer, 1763, there came a man to Mount Holly who had previously published a printed advertisement that at a certain public house he would show many wonderful operations which were therein enumerated. At the appointed time he did, by slight of hand, performed sundry things which appeared strange to the spectators. Understanding that the show was to be repeated the next night and that the people were to meet about sunset, I felt an exercise on that account. So I went to the public house in the evening and told the man of the house that I had an inclination to spend a part of the evening there with which he signified that he was content. Then sitting down by the door I spoke to the people in the fear of the Lord as they came together concerning this show and labored to convince them that they're thus assembling to see these slight of hand tricks and bestowing their money to support man who, in that capacity, were of no use to the world, was contrary to the nature of the Christian religion. One of the company endeavored to show by arguments the reasonableness of their proceedings herein, but after considering some texts of Scripture and calmly debating the matter he gave up the point. After spending about an hour among them and feeling my mind easy, I departed. Twenty-fifth of Ninth Month, 1764. At our yearly meeting at Philadelphia this day, John Smith of Marlboro, aged upwards of eighty years, a faithful minister, though not eloquent, stood up in our meeting of ministers and elders, and appearing to be under a great exercise of spirit, informed friends in substance as follows. Quote, that he had been a member of our society upwards of sixty years, and he well remembered that in those early times friends were a plain, lowly-minded people and that there was much tenderness and nutrition in their meetings. That, at twenty years from that time, the society increasing in wealth and in some degree conforming to the fashions of the world, true humility was less apparent, and their meetings in general were not so lively and edifying. That, at the end of forty years, many of them were grown very rich and many of the society made a specious appearance in the world. That wearing fine, costly garments and using silver and other watches became customary with them, their sons and their daughters. These marks of outward wealth and greatness appeared on some in our meetings of ministers and elders, and as such things became more prevalent, so the powerful overshadowings of the Holy Ghost were less manifest in the society. That there had been a continued increase of such ways of life, even until the present time, and that the weakness which hath now overspread the society and the barrenness manifest among us is matter of much sorrow." He then mentioned the uncertainty of his attending these meetings in future, expecting his dissolution was near, and having tenderly expressed his concern for us, signified that he had seen in the true light that the Lord would bring back his people from these meetings, into which they were thus degenerated, but that his faithful servants must go through great and heavy exercises. Twentieth of Ninth Month The committee appointed by the yearly meeting to visit the quarterly and monthly meetings gave an account in writing of their proceedings in that service. They signified that in the course of the visit they had been apprehensive that some persons holding offices in government, inconsistent with our principles, and others who kept slaves, remaining active members in our meetings for discipline, had been one means of weakness prevailing in some places. After this report was read, an exercise revived in my mind which had attended me for several years, and inward cries to the Lord were raised in me that the fear of man might not prevent me from doing what he required of me, and standing up I spoke in substance as follows. I have felt a tenderness in my mind towards persons in two circumstances mentioned in that report, namely, towards such active members as keep slaves and such as hold offices in civil government, and I have desired that friends in all their conduct may be kindly affectioned one towards another. Many friends who keep slaves are under some exercise on that account, and at times think about trying them with freedom, but find many things in their way. The way of living and the annual expenses of some of them are such that it seems impracticable for them to set their slaves free without changing their own way of life. It has been my lot to be often abroad, and I have observed in some places, at quarterly and yearly meetings, and at some houses where traveling friends and their horses are often entertained, that the yearly expense of individuals therein is very considerable, and friends in some places, crowding much on persons in these circumstances for entertainment, hath rested as a burden on my mind for some years past. I now express it in the fear of the Lord, greatly desiring that friends here present may duly consider it. In the fall of this year, having hired a man to work, I perceived in conversation with him that he had been a soldier in the late war on this continent, and he informed me in the evening, in a narrative of his captivity among the Indians, that he saw two of his fellow captives tortured to death in a very cruel manner. This relation affected me with sadness, under which I went to bed, and the next morning, soon after I awoke, a fresh and living sense of divine love overspread my mind, in which I had a renewed prospect of the nature of that wisdom from above, which leads to a right use of all gifts, both spiritual and temporal, and gifts content therein. Under a feeling thereof I wrote as follows, hath he who gave me a being attended with many wants unknown to brute creatures, given me a capacity superior to theirs, and shown me that a moderate application to business is suitable to my present condition, and that this, attended with his blessing, may supply all my outward wants while they remain within the bounds he hath fixed, and while no imaginary wants proceeding from an evil spirit have any place in me. Attend then, O my soul, to this pure wisdom as thy sure conductor through the manifold dangers of this world. Doth pride lead to vanity? Doth vanity form imaginary wants? Do these wants prompt men to exert their power in requiring more from others than they would be willing to perform themselves were the same required of them? Do these proceedings beget hard thoughts? Do hard thoughts when ripe become malice? Does malice when ripe become revengeful, and in the end inflict terrible pains on our fellow creatures and spread desolations in the world? Do mankind, walking in uprightness, delight in each other's happiness, and do those who are capable of this attainment by giving way to an evil spirit employ their skill and strength to afflict and destroy one another? Remember, then, O my soul, the quietude of those in whom Christ governs, and in all thy proceedings feel after it. Doth he condescend to bless thee with his presence, to move and influence thee to action, to dwell and to walk in thee. Remember, then, thy station as being sacred to God. Accept of the strength freely offered to thee, and take heed that no weakness in conforming to unwise, expensive and hard-hearted customs, gendering to discord and strife, be given way to. Doth he claim my body as his temple, and graciously require that I may be sacred to him? O that I may prize this favor, and that my whole life may be conformable to this character. Remember, O my soul, that the prince of peace is thy Lord, that he communicates his unmixed wisdom to his family, that they, living in perfect simplicity, may give no just cause of offense to any creature, but that they may walk as he walked. Having felt an openness in my heart towards visiting families in our own meeting, and especially in the town of Mount Holly, the place of my abode, I mentioned it at our monthly meeting in the four part of the winter of 1764, which, being agreed to, and several friends of our meeting being united in the exercise, we proceeded therein, and through divine favor we were helped in the work so that it appeared to me as a fresh reviving of godly care among friends. The latter part of the same winter I joined my friend William Jones in a visit to friends' families in Mansfield, in which labor I had cause to admire the goodness of the Lord toward us. My mind being drawn towards friends along the sea coast from Cape May to near Squan, and also to visit some people in those parts, among whom there is no settled worship, I joined with my beloved friend Benjamin Jones in a visit to them, having friends' unity therein. We set off the 24th of 10th month, 1765, and had a prosperous and very satisfactory journey, feeling at times through the goodness of the heavenly shepherd, the gospel to flow freely towards a poor people scattered in these places. Soon after our return I joined my friends John Sleeper and Elizabeth Smith in a visit to friends' families at Burlington, there being at this time about fifty families of our society in that city, and we had cause humbly to adore our heavenly Father who baptized us into a feeling of the state of the people, and strengthened us to labor in true gospel love among them. Having had a concern at times for several years to pay a religious visit to friends on the eastern shore of Maryland, and to travel on foot among them, that by so traveling I might have a more lively feeling of the condition of the oppressed slaves, set an example of lowliness before the eyes of their masters, and be more out of the way of temptation to unprofitable converse. And the time drawing near in which I believed it my duty to lay my concern before our monthly meeting, I perceived in conversation with my beloved friend John Sleeper that he also was under a similar concern to travel on foot in the form of a servant among them, as he expressed it. This he told me before he knew ought of my exercise. Being thus drawn the same way we laid our exercise and the nature of it before friends, and obtaining certificates, we set off the sixth of fifth month, 1766, and were at meetings with friends at Wilmington, Duck Creek, Little Creek, and Motherkill. My heart was often tendered under the divine influence, and enlarged in love towards the people among whom we traveled. From Motherkill we crossed the country about 35 miles to Tuckahoe in Maryland, and had a meeting there, and also at Marcy Creek. At the last three meetings there were a considerable number of the followers of one Joseph Nichols, a preacher who I understand is not an outward fellowship with any religious society, but professeth nearly the same principles as those of our society, and often travels up and down, appointing meetings which many people attend. I heard of some who had been irreligious people that were now his followers, and were become sober, well-behaved men and women. Some irregularities I hear have been among the people at several of his meetings, but from what I have perceived I believe the man and some of his followers are honestly disposed, but that skillful fathers are wanting among them. We then went to Chop Tank and Third Haven, and thence to Queen Anne's. The weather for some days passed having been hot and dry, and we having traveled pretty steadily, and having hard labor in meetings, I grew weakly, at which I was, for a time, discouraged. But looking over our journey and considering how the Lord had supported our minds and bodies so that we had gone forward much faster than I expected before we came out, I saw that I had been in danger of too strongly desiring to get quickly through the journey, and that the bodily weakness now attending me was a kindness, and then in contrition of spirit I became very thankful to my gracious father for this manifestation of his love, and in humble submission to his will my trust in him was renewed. In this part of our journey I had many thoughts on the different circumstances of friends who inhabit Pennsylvania and Jersey from those who dwell in Maryland, Virginia, and Carolina. Pennsylvania and New Jersey were settled by friends who were convinced of our principles in England in times of suffering. These, coming over, bought lands of the natives and applied to husbandry in a peaceable way, and many of their children were taught to labor for their living. Few of these, I believe, settled in any of the southern provinces, but by the faithful labors of traveling friends in early times there was considerable commencement among the inhabitants of these parts. I also remembered having read of the warlike disposition of many of the first settlers in those provinces, and of their numerous engagements with the natives in which much blood was shed even in the infancy of the colonies. Some of the people inhabiting those places, being grounded in customs contrary to the pure truth, were affected with the powerful preaching of the word of life and joined in fellowship with our society, and in so doing they had a great work to go through. In the history of the Reformation from Popery it is observable that the progress was gradual from age to age. The uprightness of the first reformers in attending to the light and understanding given to them opened the way for sincere-hearted people to proceed further afterwards, and thus each one truly fearing God and laboring in the works of righteousness appointed for him in his day, findeth acceptance with him. Through the darkness of the times and the corruption of manners and customs some upright men may have had little more for their day's work than to attend to the righteous principle in their minds as it related to their own conduct in life, without pointing out to others the whole extent of that into which the same principle would lead succeeding ages. Thus for instance among an imperious warlike people supported by oppressed slaves some of these masters, I suppose, are awakened to feel and to see their error, and through sincere repentance cease from oppression and become like fathers to their servants, showing by their example a pattern of humility in living and moderation in governing for the instruction and admonition of their oppressing neighbors. These without carrying the reformation further have, I believe, found acceptance with the Lord. Such was the beginning, and those who succeeded them and who faithfully attended to the nature and spirit of the reformation have seen the necessity of proceeding forward, and have not only to instruct others by their own example in governing well, but have also to use means to prevent their successors from having so much power to oppress others. Here I was renewably confirmed in my mind that the Lord, whose tender mercies are over all his works, and whose ear is open to the cries and groans of the oppressed, is graciously moving in the hearts of people to draw them off from the desire of wealth and to bring them into such an humble, lowly way of living that they may see their way clearly to repair to the standard of true righteousness, and may not only break the yoke of oppression, but may know him to be their strength and support in times of outward affliction. We crossed Chester River, had a meeting there, and also at Cecil and Sassafras. My bodily weakness joined with a heavy exercise of mind was to me an humbling dispensation, and I had a very lively feeling of the state of the oppressed. Yet I often thought that what I suffered was little compared with the sufferings of the Blessed Jesus and many of his faithful followers, and I may say with thankfulness that I was made content. From Sassafras we went pretty directly home, where we found our families well. For several weeks after our return I had often to look over our journey, and though to me it appeared as a small service, and that some faithful messengers will yet have more bitter cups to drink in those southern provinces for Christ's sake than we have had. Yet I found peace in that I had been helped to walk in sincerity according to the understanding and strength given to me. Thirteenth of eleventh month. With the unity of friends at our monthly meeting, and in company with my beloved friend, Benjamin Jones, I set out on a visit to friends in the upper part of this province, having had drawings of love in my heart that way for a considerable time. We traveled as far as hardwick, and I had inward peace in my labors of love among them. Through the humbling dispensations of divine providence, my mind hath been further brought into a feeling of the difficulties of friends and their servants south-westward. And being often engaged in spirit on their account, I believed in my duty to walk into some parts of the western shore of Maryland on a religious visit. Having obtained a certificate from friends of our monthly meeting, I took leave of my family under the heart-tendering operation of truth, and on the twentieth of fourth month, seventeen sixty-seven, rode to the ferry opposite to Philadelphia, and thence walked to William Horne's at Derby the same evening. Next day I pursued my journey alone and reached conquered weekday meeting. Discouragements and a weight of distress had at times attended me in this lonesome walk, but through these afflictions I was mercifully preserved. Sitting down with friends, my mind was turned towards the Lord to wait for his holy leadings. And in infinite love he was pleased to soften my heart into humble contrition, and renewedly to strengthen me to go forward so that to me it was a time of heavenly refreshment in a silent meeting. The next day I came to new garden weekday meeting in which I sat in bowedness of spirit and being baptized into a feeling of the state of some present, the Lord gave us a heart-tendering season, to his name be the praise. Passing on I was at Nottingham monthly meeting, and at a meeting at Little Britain on first day. In the afternoon several friends came to the house where I lodged, and we had a little afternoon meeting, and through the humbling power of truth I had to admire the loving kindness of the Lord manifested to us. 26th of Fourth Month I crossed the Susquehanna, and coming among people in outward ease and greatness, supported chiefly on the labor of slaves, my heart was much affected. And in awful retiredness my mind was gathered inward to the Lord, humbly desiring that in true resignation I might receive instruction from him respecting my duty among this people. Though traveling on foot was wearisome to my body, yet it was agreeable to the state of my mind. Being weakly I was covered with sorrow and heaviness on account of the prevailing spirit of this world by which customs, grievous and oppressive, are introduced on the one hand and pride and wantonness on the other. In this lonely walk and state of abasement and humiliation the condition of the church in these parts was opened before me, and I may truly say with the prophet I was bowed down at the hearing of it, I was dismayed at the seeing of it. Under this exercise I attended the quarterly meeting at Dunpowder, and in badness of spirit I had to express with much plainness my feelings respecting friends living in fullness on the labors of the poor oppressed Negroes. And that promise of the Most High was now revived. I will gather all nations and tongues, and they shall come and see my glory. Here the sufferings of Christ and His tasting death for every man, and the travels, sufferings, and martyrdom of the apostles and primitive Christians in laboring for the conversion of the Gentiles, were livingly revived in me. And according to the measure of strength afforded I labored in some tenderness of spirit being deeply affected among them. The difference between the present treatment which these Gentiles, the Negroes, receive at our hands, and the labors of the primitive Christians for the conversion of the Gentiles, were pressed home. And the power of truth came over us under a feeling of which my mind was united to a tender-hearted people in these parts. The meeting concluded in a sense of God's goodness towards His humble, dependent children. The next day was a general meeting for worship, much crowded, in which I was deeply engaged in inward Christ to the Lord for help, that I might stand wholly resigned and move only as He might be pleased to lead me. I was mercifully helped to labor honestly and fervently among them in which I found inward peace, and the sincere were comforted. From this place I turned towards Pipe Creek and the Red Land and had several meetings among friends in those parts. My heart was often tenderly affected under a sense of the Lord's goodness in sanctifying my troubles and exercises, turning them to my comfort, and I believe to the benefit of many others, for I may say with thankfulness that in this visit it appeared like a tendering visitation in most places. I passed on to the Western Quarterly Meeting in Pennsylvania. During the several days of this meeting I was mercifully preserved in an inward feeling after the mind of truth, and my public labors tended to my humiliation with which I was content. After the Quarterly Meeting for worship ended, I felt drawings to go to the Women's Meeting for business, which was very full. Here the humility of Jesus Christ as a pattern for us to walk by was livingly opened before me, and in treating on it my heart was enlarged and it was a baptizing time. I was afterwards at meetings at Concord, Middletown, Providence, and Haddonfield, whence I returned home and found my family well. A sense of the Lord's merciful preservation in this my journey excites reverent thankfulness to him. Second of Ninth Month, 1767 With the unity of friends I set off on a visit to friends in the upper part of Berks and Philadelphia counties, was at eleven meetings in about two weeks and have renewed cause to bow in reverence before the Lord, who, by the powerful extendings of his humbling goodness, opened my way among friends and I trust made the meetings profitable to us. The following winter I joined some friends in a family visit to some part of our meeting in which exercise the pure influence of divine love made our visits reviving. Fifth of Fifth Month, 1768 I left home under the humbling hand of the Lord, with a certificate to visit some meetings in Maryland, and to proceed without a horse seemed clearest to me. I was at the quarterly meetings at Philadelphia and Concord, whence I proceeded to Chester River and crossing the bay was at the yearly meeting at West River. I then returned to Chester River and taking a few meetings in my way proceeded home. It was a journey of much inward waiting and as my eye was to the Lord, way was several times open to my humbling admiration when things appeared very difficult. On my return I felt a very comfortable relief of mind, having through divine help labored in much plainness both with friends selected and in the more public meetings so that I trust the pure witness in many minds was reached. Eleventh of Sixth Month, 1769 There have been sundry cases of late years within the limits of our monthly meeting respecting the exercising of pure righteousness towards the Negroes, in which I have lived under a labor of heart that equity might be steadily preserved. On this account I have had some close exercises among friends, in which I may thankfully say I find peace. And as my meditations have been on universal love, my own conduct in time past became of late very grievous to me. As persons setting Negroes free in our province are bound by law to maintain them in case they have need of relief, some in the time of my youth who scrupled to keep slaves for term of life were wont to detain their young Negroes in their service without wages till they were thirty years of age. With this custom I so far agreed that being joined with another friend in executing the will of a deceased friend, I once sold a Negro lad till he might attain the age of thirty years and applied the money to the use of the estate. With a basement of heart I may now say that sometimes as I have sat in a meeting with my heart exercised towards that awful being who respected not persons nor colors and have thought upon this lad, I have felt that all was not clear in my mind respecting him. And as I have attended to this exercise and fervently sought the Lord, it hath appeared to me that I should make some restitution. But in what way I saw not till lately, when, being under some concern that I might be resigned to go on a visit to some part of the West Indies and under close engagement of spirit seeking to the Lord for counsel herein, the aforesaid transaction came heavily upon me, and my mind for a time was covered with darkness and sorrow. Under this sore affliction my heart was softened to receive instruction, and I now first perceived that as I had been one of the two executors who had sold this lad for nine years longer than is common for our own children to serve, so I should now offer part of my substance to redeem the last half of the nine years. But as the time was not yet come I executed a bond, binding myself and my executors to pay to the man to whom he was sold what to candid men might appear equitable for the last four and a half years of his time, in case the sad youth should be living, and in a condition likely to provide comfortably for himself. Ninth of Tenth Month My heart hath often been deeply afflicted under a feeling that the standard of pure righteousness is not lifted up to the people by us as a society in that clearness which it might have been, had we been as faithful as we ought to be to the teachings of Christ. And as my mind hath been inward to the Lord, the purity of Christ's government hath been made clear to my understanding. And I have believed in the opening of universal love that where a people who are convinced of the truth of the inward teachings of Christ are active in putting laws in execution which are not consistent with pure wisdom, it hath a necessary tendency to bring dimness over their minds. My heart, having been thus exercised for several years with a tender sympathy towards my fellow members, I have within a few months passed expressed my concern on this subject in several meetings for discipline. End of Chapter 9