I gotta delete it off Twitter. I gotta delete the link.  This is I Just I just man Call it duty.   So the audio is Speaker output because y'all can hear the gameplay Voice chat should be all lobby Voice chat is on The voice chat output should be oh Hmm, let me see default system device I think y'all may be able to hear it now. Hold on. I think y'all may actually be able to hear it now in game Because I think I switched the voice chat to um Default system the output Hold on because before it was just going to my headphones. I think I've never fixed it. Let me test something I'm gonna meet my mic real quick and y'all should be able to hear me in game What is this? What what are we doing calling duty? How is this a thing? Well, I cannot No one can hear me default communication device Let's try it now. I don't know what's going on y'all I have no idea What the actual hill is going on y'all That's my output No, no the output should be I think I'm doing looking at the wrong thing.  This is I don't know man. This is weird y'all. I don't even know how to fix it.  I don't know how to fix it Don't open my sensitivity is fine.   I I'm I'm kind of over it, bro I'm so over it.    I can finally hear you in game chat.  Yeah, I can It goes good, bro. I said dear baby chance. I come to you All right, we in business now left my hands as they play. Please make sure of my thumb There we go, I ain't ever crashed Oh, you can hear everybody talking Everybody talking now All right, we back in business man, let's see if it works this time Keeping the fingers cross All right, let's do it. Let's get this done, man I haven't played I actually didn't even play yesterday. Oh my god. The whole team is sitting in there, man They just hold it over over here. No, so we're spawning Oh, they oh man Ross, I was just talking to you talking about you yesterday now.  My boy is just sitting ahead of you. I gotta go all the way around How did he know I was there? Maybe a uab. He's just sitting the head glitch, bro This is this is the beta y'all. This is this is what we doing Just sitting there none of my teammates We're pushing it. He's literally just sitting there Hopefully somebody pushed him.   Let's go. All right, so there Oh, he's just chilling on that head glitch, bro Oh my gosh, dude This is some great great great plays Look at this, bro This is ridiculous, bro.  This is how people play This is how people play, bro. He has a juggernaut. He has a juggernaut. He has a juggernaut going. No They're down below I tried I tried I tried I tried y'all there's someone behind us. Nope Oh couldn't get the three piece there. I was stunned over there They're above us got him. Oh, no They're behind us.  Nope. They killed him I actually got a good team that's carrying me right now I think that one dude's still camping on that head Man, I died. I'm gonna just leave it out there.   Jesus Christ. I was that was bad, bro. I had a bad game, bro Yeah, that was absolutely Extrocious Huh, let me uh repost this again to my Instagram, bro I'm gonna repost this again That's just ridiculous, bro I'm ridiculous Ridiculous, that's all I'm gonna say That's ridiculous, but yeah, there's a lot of things that they need to work on obviously but um It's one of those things where It's like It's really a copy and paste game that they're not There's not much that changed in this game other than movement Movement and things that shouldn't have been a changed in the first place from the last game There's not much It's not much so you would think it would be so easy to kind of just port everything over That makes ah man But I ain't tell you I had to get a whole new uh Controller, bro I had to get a whole new controller because my other controller didn't work on this game For whatever fucking reason, bro. I had to buy a whole new controller, bro All right. Got him. Oh, I'm not challenging that. Did he kill him? I thought he killed him Holy moly I'm gonna peek it He peeked it I didn't think he was gonna peek it y'all. All right, so he had to move Move what you can't make this up, bro You can't make this up dawg No, of course I hear him and nope nope the audios There was one person behind me. I didn't even hear the other person to the left of me But that's Geez, bro, I didn't even hear him y'all didn't even hear he had to been running the covert sneakers I didn't even hear him at all Bro, it's uh, you're How am I pussy bro? What you talked about? You literally were sitting there the entire time. What would you want me to do? What's Trust me. I feel all ggs if there's two people you're not winning that gunfight I just want you to know that y'all If there is two people or two v one, you're not winning that bro I'm trying to get a get some type of rhythm going.  I'm dead. I'm dead But why take so many shots to kill people? Oh Oh my god Jesus The ttk I gotta get used to that bro because it takes so many shots. You gotta really hit your shot Man, I got shot in my back Gee, let's do this rotate around At least people aren't really camping on this right now People are actually moving around a bit. Holy moly and I was dead Ah I gotta get your uses ttk Coming right side Gotta get used to it. I'm gonna push it and I got shot in my back They have the oh, yep. They got that right I heard them. I didn't hear him. I did not hear him at all. So Yeah, they got to work on like the teammates footsteps and stuff. It's kind of it's kind of hard to tell the difference Oh, come on I looked up on the head shots there. All right, so he's above me Got him.     Oh, I thought that was the enemy Yeah, I gotta give Bro Where is everybody? Oh my god, he got bro. That's crazy, dude And pop this uav That's crazy.   This is probably the best game I've had on here in a while.  Look at this guy. He is sitting under the ground in the corner, bro Why are we doing that on a fader? These stacks don't airy over move around.  Oh, yeah, nah This this ah, yeah, this is And obviously I do think the skill base match making this a little bit on the harsh side because everyone is playing This is more so hardcore called a duty fan. So That was okay game.  Let me leave a party. I gotta fix my class set up real quick. All right, so let me go Let me see. Let me see because this gun really smooth. You haven't tried ground war. It's actually pretty fun Yeah, it's like conquest. Yeah, I know. It's the same as 20-20. Yeah, I don't I I stay away from ground war I stay away from the ground war, man Let me do something real quick I gotta go to Magazine it's really good with this magazine size Right. Do you still have WWE 2k 23? Yes, I still have it. I just don't play it Okay, because that was actually about to uh Ask it sometime before WWE 2k 24 comes out. You could try out. Um, let's see my rise lock As a stream playthrough Let's see Let me see. I'm cool with this setup I'm cool with this setup One thing I'm trying to get is Ghost And the covert sneakers the stalker boots. Not really that good. I'll probably run white a lightweight I'm gonna go lightweight The stalker boots is it's it's still kind of low. I miss old school ground war 36 players. I'm regular Best moves the WWE But the new one just recently got uploaded by the way Damn bro was on camp kidney the way he was sitting in facts, man So how you like the debate of dance? I don't know if you're still in here Trying to see how you like it run with this Man, I can't wait to uh play slash by modern warfare 2.5. Oh, I think I read that already appreciate you, man I didn't play for mella. Let me check some settings Audio so the audio is game sound device That's my speakers Voice chat is at 54 That's my voice chat volume. All right. Let's do this thing Yeah, I've seen a 3v3 uh gunfight mode. I'm not really a big fan of those type of modes. I'm more of a response 6v6 type of guy y'all already know He said uh, fuck's what it gives me old nostalgia vibes 100 expecting dlc Oh, he's up here.  I'm cooking right now y'all. I'm cooking with grease I hear him to my left. There's two of them. Oh scene.   Let me crouch walk. Oh you scared No, he's not up here I'm really kind of holding this middle building right here. Yep Heard him.  I legit didn't know this was a spot, bro I'm doing pretty good right now. I ain't gonna hold you doing pretty good pretty solid I got the double kill, baby There's one over here There's a few over here Yeah That was a risky play got him I love you better move I'm gonna kill you my boy All right. I'm starting to get some some decent games, man. Oh, is that a jug? Yeah, no, man How's it go play? No cap. Yep. There goes the juggernaut Oh, okay, man. Look look bro. We can talk about it. Don't you come in here?  Oh, I thought that was the enemy man Well, we got this y'all. Well, that's gg's y'all Oh, this shit's he makes Whoo That was crazy That was crazy That was a good one. That was a good one. We got got you back to back That was a good one, man.  You know what's about to happen next. I'm about to get matched up with nothing but sweats Uh, appreciate the fun a 950 stream board card in the future Ross. This is dope, man I do understand you be busy though.  Let me see some of these settings I've been using this boss p. Uh boss b. I mean The voice chat Yeah So that's my open mic sensitivity What about On microphone level, let me turn it up a little bit more Good luck on the next match. Uh, I actually don't like a statement To be honest, I don't like you Keep it a park with you Oh, no, it's a Who's supposed to back out of here? Bro, I wasn't paying attention.  This ain't some mess to me Actually, yeah, let me I'm back out Covering you I'm backing out because I don't I don't really to be honest with y'all I don't really care for the state. Where is that? Could I got to turn it down in my headset because that's That shit's loud hearing people talk is it voice chat? What?  It should be this That's the open mic sensitivity Where is it? I just had it y'all. Is that it?  I think this is it master volume voice chat volume. I'm gonna put it like at 50 Or maybe like 45 or 46 whatever probably bet All right, there we go. Oh, man Yeah, I don't like a state If you want me to be honest, I didn't like it stayed in modern warfare 2. I don't like it here I just don't like the map. I think it's it's a lot of shit going on a lot of people can hide and blend in So I just don't like the map to be honest with you Let me see how my fantasy is looking like right now Well, we back on favela. I think I may end up losing to to the homie king, man You have to jump if the buff load don't get like some extra points.  I missed all those shots. Oh In that All right, I got the system that shit, but still All right, let's get to the hardpoint. This is actually my first time playing hardpoint on favela I can hear you Oh Going down for the set Good shirt teammate I may have to put the 40 round bags on here. I don't know Because it takes a lot more bullets to kill people I was not paying attention Oh, oh no, Spaghetti. Oh Here they come Come on. Oh, they've dispatched me.  I'm about to die It's me, man. We on the same team. Oh, we got a juggy too. Let's go Really get off the point, bro. There's so much going on right now.  Oh my god, the whole team was there if I can get a six man with this Please give me the six man. Please give me the six man. Please give me the six man on five man a sentry gun I thought that was a person Bro, there's so much going on right now Someone just got beat up. I heard footsteps everywhere. I don't know who God damn it.  I got shot for my side. All those shots, bro My aim is not where it needs to be. I gotta work on it. You gotta get used to this controller too Got him. Is he still over here? Well, that's GG y'all That was crazy. That was a good one. That was a crazy one We joined in kind of late, but 27 and 7 Uh-oh Katie That's only going up, you know, you know what that mean? Good god on mice is mighty lord have mercy on also All right, I go y'all Two wins. Uh, I think this is our third my third win Things the third win, but I appreciate y'all man for being a part of this once again I know this is a impromptu thing because I believe the beta ends Monday tomorrow Unless they'll extend it to Tuesday something. Oh my god. I'm probably gonna lose the king geez dog I'm probably gonna lose Just trying to make sure everything sound good But yeah, I was supposed to tell y'all man. I had to end up getting me an xbox Elite controller the the elite two or whatever it's called I had to give me a new one because my other pro controller does not work on this game I don't know what they did, but they don't work on this game It works on model 1 for 2, but they don't work on here. So I have to drop I think this control is like with taxes like $200 Irritated Irritated, bro. I like the controller though. I gotta get used to it, but It's a high quality controller for sure, but still I was not prepared to I didn't hear him. Does he have on covert sneakers? Yep. He got on covert sneakers. I legit I didn't hear him at all like Just super dead Oh my god There's your teammates Bo what are you doing? He sat there and Yeah, I'm gonna probably have to put on that 50 round mad, bro What's your rock? Yeah, I'm gonna put on that 50 round mad run out edit gunsmith Magazine Well, it's a 60 round drum. I need that, bro. It doesn't slow down the gun too much. I'm running Don't change me. I'm sorry. I wouldn't Just sitting in the corner now. Oh, yeah, that's 60 round mag is weird size. Oh, was that the enemy? Yeah, baby. It's me Oh, he's right here to my right. I wasn't trying to do that. I wasn't trying to do that I hear him. I hear him. I wasn't even trying to call it in, but I got a kill randomly. He's still in here. Let me throw his stun Oh, he's gone.  Also I heard Let me call in this Yep, push it. Now this drum hit different. No cap.  Got somebody Yeah, this 50 round drum 60 round drum is This is what the doctor ordered. Yeah, this 60 round mag is my friend Yo How am I camping bro? I'm rotating around. What are you talking about? I believe Ah I promise you nobody's camping Goddamn Nah, they camping I couldn't even see them. I legit didn't even know I was getting shot from y'all My teammates they legit camping though. I'm They camping for sure teammate he's right there I can't even move bro his teammate I'm telling you those two v one situations. It's the hardest to win in this game, bruh teammate why didn't he push with me, bro? There we go. I missed all my shots. That's the century Damn, what's up? What's up? Lost on that one, man Damn, did y'all see that 80? Yes, you just boomed right there. Well, we lost again I went 28 and 11 tried I tried I'm close to unlocking the covert sneakers Let me actually put a bigger magazine on this gun too because I feel like it needs it, bro Oh, yeah, let me put the 40 round on this one. Just man That's 60 round. Bruh, that is your friend. I promise y'all That's your friend.  Well the optic I got on there now They got any skins. I believe they do I've seen some people with some like Different type of skins. Let me check this fantasy again. I'm checking this right now Yep, I'm about to lose.  He's finally back got me 10 points on the bench. I could have definitely used this help It would have helped out just a little bit I'm just gonna be a rat shotguns and ride shields. I heard there's like this fully auto shotgun on here.  That's just I heard him. I just couldn't land the shots. I need it Thank you teammate.    I'ma try it on the next game for sure. Say less say Motherfucking less. Where are they? Where are they? Try to hit them on the building about the baby And copy I'm gonna try that shotgun on next Oh my god He's in that building with that shotgun smoking hot digger right now Can I like can I so I don't want to play these damn maps right now?  Good man, but nigga Oh, he's not filling this map my teammate He heard me. He had to have heard me. Oh no, he just saw me faster before I saw him My luck Looking for a nigga and the nigger finds me when I'm not looking at me in that direction Love it. What sniper is that?  I didn't even see him My eyes are bad I see he's just now back here.  What's up with the LMG? They hitting for real?    Oh Come on.  That was a rough one The competition's getting tougher and tougher and tougher, bro Not the dub, but the competition is getting so much tougher now What we at 17 and 12 yep, it's starting to go down Competitions getting Did I unlock the covert sneakers yet? Hold on. Let me back out because I actually want to try that shotgun Which one is it? Is it this one or this one? I think it's this one the fully auto I'm gonna run Simtex That breacher drone is pretty nice I might use breacher drone try that out Uh, get on at the next level. Bebe bebe bebe bebe All right, man. We're about to get toxic real quick. We're about to see what this shotgun's about I don't know any class setups for it. So But yeah, I had to get a Xbox pro controller the elite controller too or whatever because my last controller does not work with the game My other pro controller does not work. I had to drop 200 dollars on it, bro As soon as the beta came out, I couldn't play it like it would I could press buttons And then it would stop And what's crazy is It works on modern warfare too So I just got an extra controller.  Oh that gun is so broken.    Did someone get assassinated? Oh, I thought that was a friendly This is ridiculous if you can Manage the range on him. I killed them y'all. I killed them y'all. I couldn't see nothing and I still killed them This is Give me all the range. Oh my god, bro. Give me all advantage.  It ain't a call of duty without some broken-ass shotgun, which is I would say it's kind of broken just a bit Come on jump down here. Come on. Oh, you got me like you gotta be out of certain range to really do damage Friendly Here's ggs, bro That was fantastic, bro That was fun That was actually fun, bro And I believe I I'm close to unlocking the covert sneakers. That was oh no, I gotta adjust my mic Oh That was fantastic, man Right there That shotgun They're definitely gonna nerf that.   I gotta unlock that. Let me see Let the fire speed is I may put that on. Oh, that was fantastic, bro Here's the lightweight.  Let me make sure everything good I'm doing good, man My head hurts I don't know if I'm be able to do it on this map It's kind of I'm gonna have to really rotate one area of the map for me to be able to do this. This is a long range map. So cool My head hurts man. I haven't eaten since earlier today Head hurts I need to give me something to eat man, but that was just pure fun Like that was absolutely fun, man I appreciate everyone that's in here right now, man. Thank y'all so much for joining me. I'll probably put this on Let's do it, baby Oh, somebody was already at the the priest's nice spot. Yep If you don't hit your shots, it's over for you, bro Like you gotta make sure you hit the shot. Yep. If you don't know what that person is you don't hit your shots It's over.  Uh, yeah, you thought you was just gonna camp there.  I can't see. Oh my goodness Ross's classic train singer for real. I'm not I'm not Ross must have lost to try not to laugh seeing it. You save it again. Uh Oh That was okay Yeah, I didn't want to put out the shotgun on this map. It's not really gonna work unless I'm playing like maybe uh, uh an objective It probably would work in yes.  I like the movement. The movement is probably the best part of this game The movement is fluid. It's much better than modern warfare 2 um, you can really rush it's it's it's It's cool for rushers. We had the same time It's it's it's better for rushers. I like to rush. I like to move around. I like to flank So it gives you that opportunity all your perks are there at the beginning.  Yeah.  I got deleted. Let me go with The shotgun will hold this point He's up top. Oh, man, they spawned behind me. I love the covert sneakers.  We all heard that god damn Team team we the gather on this. I couldn't get I couldn't get away Unless I rotate around I couldn't see him. I couldn't see the guy.   It's spawned behind me I'm trying to make this come back y'all All right. Appreciate you real life for popping in man. Thank you so much. Oh my god. I got deleted I got deleted y'all.  All right, bet Nobody was trying to hop on the point He saw me Yeah, if you want to hop in my lobby is open. So you can you can join in. Yeah, I'm a switch I'm a switch. I'm a switch. I'm a switch. I'm a switch I'm dead. I can hear him, but I saw him and I was deleted Someone's on the catwalk That's crazy the snipers in this game. Oh, yeah, they or uh, they are strong Nice job, sir A teammate he's on he's up top.   I mean helicopter whatever Yeah, the spawns on here is weird too Because they'll spawn right behind you See Why was he there? Why did he spawn there? They got to work on that too for sure The spawns are they don't make sense They don't so much going on right now. There was another dude. There's a 2v1 situation there I was really trying to figure out what I was stuck on They spawned behind us, bro And if you challenge the sniper in this game, just know you're gonna have a A tough time.  Yeah, they made me change the user tag I don't know why still to this day You said if my name violated terms of service or some shit Bro, well, that's GG. We hold this. Yeah, we got it. Got the win, man The bill is won. Let me check fantasy, man I gotta see what sake one did He gave 13 so I mean it would have helped out a few more points, but I'm definitely gonna start them next week for sure um But yeah, I think uh Yep, I think I may lose You got me next week Oh, about the unlocked ghost About the unlocked ghost, let's go As a fellow I will accept. I couldn't see the rest of it. No Oh, yeah, I'm pulling out the shotgun on this map for sure for a shit show Yeah um I don't think I'm gonna run the suppress on this one Y'all have a good one looking forward to Monday night raw stream off for sure How do you feel about the game so far? It's okay. It's it's serviceable I like the movement movement's much more fluid outside of that It's modern warfare To dlc. I'd spend it with this I was still trying to join in Slash trying to join in Let's do this He's sitting up there, bro I Still hit me, bro Get in there get in there. I couldn't see them y'all by the way It's gonna hard to take that but all they gotta do is watch that hallway I'm gonna have to rotate around possibly You take the next one get to it. Oh this way. What was my teammate doing?  He was watching that angle I'm with you. I'm stuck on something I got stuck he was over there. I'm not challenging that. No, I should have had that man Geez. Yeah, I'm doing bad this game Hang on a lot to you. These are still up there.  It's just ridiculous Flash right now. I'm getting flash Trying to make something shake and then I catch this I'm starting to cook up something getting a little bit of Really?   I rotate around. We'll probably be streaming. Uh What's my name on Monday night raw for sure Try to get over there. That's your teammate. I was hoping you picked them up Enemies inside the perimeter I'm just doing the 66 modes.      I thought my teammate was behind me.    Yep Call the duty call the duty call the duty at his finest, man Legit call the duty at his finest All right, I got ghost, baby We got uh, three or two other people in here appreciate I'm gonna go with this Let's go I'ma change it though So either one gots the visuals me Oh for god's sake That's crazy that card are you giving me a right there? Yeah, man, that's that's what you play call the duty for That's why I wanted to make sure y'all could hear that because if y'all couldn't hear that that was gonna be pretty tragic It's not call the duty if you can't hear the trash talk, you know what I'm saying? What am I doing?  Let's hold this building down y'all Let's be the best rats ever Having the best time of my life The run a db special It's so much fun, bro. This is fun, bro Is this the best thing ever? Oh, he got sniped. He didn't know where he was getting shot from. Oh, that's a that's a good spot. That ain't a lot to you I love it, bro. I'm not even mad. Uh, this is great I've caused Oh, he got a juggernaut Oh, shit, this is gonna be a tough one, bro. Yeah, he got that jug, man. Yeah, he got that jug. That's gonna be hard to beat Got you trying to feed where people are Yeah, he's in he stays over here. I think he's a okay. I think Oh, yeah, he was a okay only got me Yeah That's how you have fun in the game, man That was Glad you enjoyed that stuff because I know I did I know I had a great time Yeah, I heard that bird Man, my head is killing me.  Oh no, not this one Rotate around. Yeah, he caught me This thing gets just spraying and praying.   I'm with you. What was my teammate? Whoa, what was he looking at? I'm trying to figure out what he was looking at.  Don't You gotta be below us Got it. Yeah, we getting ready. What type of spot was that? What? The hit marker sounds do sound good though. I'm missing my shots I can't hear nothing consistently. He's over there. Are they spawning behind us?  We got the win, baby Got that window. Uh, now I don't really play such a destroyer I was watching a destroyer group game so I can join it.  I gotta give me something to eat Should probably lay it down Work on a video tomorrow morning For you guys for the main page, so I think you're gonna like the next video But I want to thank y'all for joining in We had some fun on this damn beta. It's been great. I just want to make sure the audio sound good Yep This has been fun This has been real fun.  I had to take out somebody. Somebody's dying with me tonight I'm actually having fun on this beta. No cap the first couple days. It was a little bit of a struggle, but I'm actually having some type of fun on here. I got the luckiest of his shots, bro on easy of all things But you have to have this magazine on here, bro Holy hardscope in mid. This is bro the snipers in this game.  All right, so we're taking a They don't be for sure. I'm gonna rotate down here. They'll bug me What is he doing here? I don't even know what he was doing here.  Just go ahead and just call gg He's down below Yep, yep, yep Yelp, yelp, yelp We gotta take these Get turned on I think he's down here. Yeah, I probably should have did that It's so hard to take b in this game If you don't hit that shot, bro, if you don't land your shots, it's over. They just Trying to rotate around he's up top. Oh, I had to worry about the guy up top Yeah, there's one on a helicopter.    Oh, man, man, that was a tough one.  That was you That was a tough one, bro Drop 40 though, but Anywhere much we can do It's like getting b on this is damn near Hard to do, bro Like they got b All they got to do is hard scope that that middle lane. That's it That's it, man. Yeah, man, it's funny. You're not soft over a beta continue That's it. It's crazy, but I think that's it for me, man I think that's it for me. I appreciate everyone that uh Was a part of this, man I want to thank y'all so much For being a part of this.  Yeah, man This has been fantastic You guys are great Thank y'all so much for being a part of this, man Um, wish I could stream more of it when you first drop, but that's okay Whenever the game actually do drop just know I definitely will be trying to stream as much of it as I possibly can Um more videos for the main page is dropping more videos for the personal page I'm gonna probably record tomorrow because I'm so hungry, but I have not eaten since like 12 Today like 11 and 12 today my head's on fire So I need to give me some food and kind of just relax So I love you guys. Thank you guys so much for being a part of this. This was


Tired of long-term commitment plans? Then Appalachian Wireless has the new plans for you! No credit checks, no contracts, and most of the features of PostPaid is ForwardPaid. The simpler way to do wireless on the region's premier cellular provider, and it starts as low as $19.99 a month with unlimited talk and text. We are you. We are Appalachian Wireless. The 46th annual Hillbilly Days will be returning to Pikeville, Kentucky, April 20th through the 22nd. The festival will feature vendors of all kinds, and proceeds from the festival will go to the Shriners Children's Hospital. Well, it's the 46th year, believe it or not. It started out as just wanting to have a little parade and get some people excited about coming to town. Grew into what we have now, which is one of the top festivals in the state of Kentucky, and one of the best fundraisers for the Shriners Hospital. We spread the word that what we're doing and what the hospital does for the kids, and who knows, we may have found a child that's a parent that's called the hospital and maybe they've had a child that needs help, and they've got the services. Not only that, but Hillbilly Days has contributed close to $3 million to the hospital in 46 years, and that's kind of a toss-up number because in the early days, they didn't keep track of the money. During the festival, food vendors, craft vendors, and a schedule of events will be listed on the free Billy Finder app. And then, you know, that's the festival with the heart, that's Hillbilly Days. And when you come, I don't know, it's just, I've been now for 46 years, and I get to see the people, and they come through town, and they smile. They're happy. And I think that's a good part about a festival. When you've got people come to town and they do that, that means they'll be back. And Appalachian Arena with all the activities they have and all the music we have in town, but then you had the entertainment there at the courthouse. And then at Appalachian Arena, there's always some kind of concert that's going to be here every year. It's one of the places you come to and you don't drive through, you have to park and walk through. And a lot of times, it's walking room only. For more information, go to Hillbilly Days Festival on Facebook. Reporting for Mountain Top News, I'm Brianna Robinson.


Monday, this is episode number 74 of this series that I've been doing for quite a while now. Today we are going to talk about that thing where an anxious person can wind up feeling really angry or resentful or upset with the people around them that aren't anxious.  That's actually more normal than we think. We don't like to admit it. Let's normalize it a little bit today.  So that's what we're gonna talk about today. Let's get the chat overlay up so everybody can talk to each other as you usually do. Hopefully this is working. I did not ask anybody to give me the thumbs up but I assume that you can hear me. I think I have the technical things worked out after 73 of these. We'll hang out for 30 or 40 minutes today. We'll talk about this. You guys can feel free to share your own experiences with this particular issue. It's a little bit more common than we would think. So sometimes when you feel that way, you might think, oh man, I'm the worst.  Why am I angry at these people just for living their lives? So we don't like to admit it but it's a thing. And again, it doesn't make you a bad person. It generally makes you struggling. It makes you prone to human emotions and all that sort of stuff. So hello everybody. Was it Bella from Twilight on the thumbnail as Katya? I don't know that. I literally do not know who that was in the thumbnail to be completely honest with you. I just sort of pick it in Canva. Who knows? Anyway, hey Carol, hello everybody's here. Bethany's here. If you are in my Facebook group watching, I'm just gonna see you as Facebook user. I'm sorry. Restream doesn't tell me your name but so if you wanna say your name like I see more is here from Montreal. That's cool. Again, we're gonna try and keep it to the topic but we always do sort of like go into general Q and A usually after I give my little spiel. So we'll do some of that too. Whatever, we'll be casual. We'll hang out for 30, 40 minutes and try and go over this topic. So by show of hands, how many folks in the comments section today, there's 30 of you and people will show up as we go but how many people have experienced this if you want to say? Not everybody wants to say because sometimes it feels embarrassing to get angry for what you kind of think is no reason or to be angry at people who aren't really doing anything but living their lives. Has anybody felt this before? If you wanna share, that's totally fine but know that even if not a lot of people share thanks Jose, I appreciate you sharing that. You don't have to say it because sometimes it feels embarrassing to say that but yeah, it happens because we're human and sometimes we get upset, we get angry, we get frustrated. That frustration shows itself in various different ways such as being angry at other people even though they didn't do anything to us, it happens. Like human beings in general fly off the handle sometimes for no reason.  Like that's just a part of the human experience in general and if you are really struggling because you are feeling afraid and certain vulnerable restricted and you're struggling to try and find a way out of this and it's going too slow and you're impatient and you're frustrated then you're gonna fly off the handle sometimes too, that's okay. You might not even say things to people but you may feel it internally and again, we're just here to sort of validate that, normalize it and let you know that it doesn't mean you're a terrible person. The same sort of emotions sometimes we experience for various reasons and when you are struggling with the recovery process oftentimes you will sometimes feel like you are selfish or self-centered. That's another way that recovery can sort of impact the way we express ourselves or the way we show ourselves to the world. And I did a podcast episode on that a couple of years ago about how the disorder itself is very selfish and self-centered but it doesn't mean that you are and this is the same thing. The disorder will sometimes make you lash out a little bit or have these feelings of anger but it doesn't mean you're a bad person, I promise. So let's see what everybody says here a little bit before we talk about that because I did ask all the time, yeah, I'm the female Hulk, upset Envy. Sure, Envy is a good one. Envy is that people are out there living their lives and you really want to in the worst way and you're working so hard to do it and to struggle and so Envy is a normal experience for sure. I appreciate you guys sharing, by the way, this way. Let's see, I do find myself resentful of people who seem normal but then consider that they may be going to their issues but we're gonna put the comments up on the screen right away, I usually do that at the end but I like that you guys are chiming in right away. Consider that they may be going through issues at well, that helps. Love this, Sean, thank you so much for pointing that out. That is 100% true. I think this is especially true when sometimes social media, and I know I dump all over social media often, I don't mean to but sometimes we're interacting with people primarily online and in a social media context, we have a tendency to see what they put there which is often a highlight reel and compare ourselves to that and that can be unfair to us. You don't know what's going on the minute before that person snapped a picture or the minute after. So Sean, very good for pointing that out, I appreciate it. This is a good comment too. I get angry because I compare me to the old me, that's my comparison. And I think what can sometimes happen is that you see other people out there doing what they do and it triggers a little bit of that comparison. So sometimes a lot of people would say, I'm not saying this is true, it's one interpretation. A lot of people would say we get angry and we start to feel resentful because we're angry at ourselves or we're just angry at our own situation and it comes out as feelings toward other people, even silent feelings that you might not say. So not everybody lashes out, you just might harbor those feelings and think, oh, shouldn't feel this way, I'm terrible, why do I feel this way? So that's a good one too, I like it. It can be tricky when those of us who are working toward recovery have to grapple with the anxious vibes coming off our friends and family members. Does anybody else find yourself particularly sensitive to? Okay, so this is a good question from Ben, it's a big comment, so I'm not gonna put it up on the screen who asked if anybody finds themselves triggered or sensitive to other people's anxiety. That's actually also a pretty common thing. But I think it's important to point that out. That is, yes, that can be a thing. You might say, well, what another person is sensitive than it is anxious, that it makes me anxious too. But we have to always challenge that narrative and say, well, I can have an emotional response to their emotional response, especially if it's someone you care about, it's a friend, it's a loved one. If you see them struggling, that might make you feel certain emotions. And then those emotions in that sensitized sort of overworked amygdala state can quickly morph into fear and an anxious response. So that happens quite often too. Just, I'm a big fan of being really careful about not invalidating your emotional makeup, but also being really careful about that whole thing where like, well, I glue myself to other people's emotions because I have to. Well, you don't have to recognize the process that's going on there. Know that it's really common for people to say that. A lot of anxious people will say, if I'm in a situation where people are arguing or they're getting really loud or aggressive, I get really anxious. So that's also pretty common too. I appreciate you bringing that up then for sure. Lisa says, I love this. And it's mainly about, I just want to kind of normalize this and validate this. And I appreciate you guys sharing. So Lisa says, I've definitely felt this way, but I feel even angrier when they look at me like I'm faking it. I'm not sure, that's really interesting. Like, Lisa, if you want to comment more on that, I'd be curious to what you mean about that. They look at you like I'm faking it. I'm just not necessarily understanding. I'd like to hear more for sure. What else do we have? Maria says, she's felt that way for sure. 100% feel and have felt resentment. Sure, frustration. Feel like an, oh, let's put this up on the screen. It's a big comment too, but we'll put it up for a second. Thank you for sharing, Michelle.  Feel like an outcast at that time. Yeah, that's a really awful way to feel. This can make us feel isolated. It can make us feel alone. It can make us feel like the world is leaving us behind. Sometimes it makes us feel like our family and friends, the people that we would hope would never leave us behind are in fact leaving us behind. So I totally get that. So Lisa, her extra comment was, like if I say, I feel like I'm going to pass out. Oh, okay, let me go to the bottom and put this up here. Yeah, this is not cool. Do not show me this again, hang on. This is a follow up on Lisa's initial comment. Thank you for clarifying by the way, Lisa, I appreciate it. Like if I feel like I say I'm gonna pass out, they look and say, oh, you look and sound like you're totally normal. Yeah, okay, so that I get it. So sometimes when people will, they don't understand how it feels because they're not feeling it. No human being can ever actually feel when another person is feeling it at any given time. And we talked about this a lot in this community where the reason why they don't understand is because they don't see the danger that we do, right? Or that you might in the moment. So they don't understand, and they will dismiss sometimes how you feel because they understand that you don't have to feel that way. But sometimes it can come across as accusatory and invalidating, like you look fine. And especially if there's an implication, I've literally unfortunately heard people been told that it seems like they are faking it. I've had people who said, well, like my partner or my mom or my friend or my boss flat out asked if I was faking this and which is so not okay. Let me turn off my screen blanking software because I forgot to do that. But yeah, I appreciate you clarifying that for sure. So let's see. Okay, this is Jose, let's put this up. My friends are telling me I'm a wuss for how restricted and vulnerable I've become, which is not okay. Like, and there's a little bit of, we could talk about some of that and we will at times. That's sort of that masculine thing where the way we approach mental health for men is not cool, but to hear something like that, you're a wuss. Sometimes I've heard that. And I've also seen instances where the person making that accusation then experiences it themselves.  You won't want to feel that way because you will clearly not want that person to experience it. But sometimes when they do those same people quickly change their tone when it's them. So I appreciate you sharing that too. Let's see here. What does Bethany have to say? Let's pop this up on the screen. I got to look over the top. I'm sure people in recovery from all kinds of things struggle with these things. Yeah, exactly. I'm sure it is addiction, definitely eating disorders. It's not just panic attacks, agoraphobia and OCD for sure. That's really good. And we do, unfortunately we will compare ourselves to others all the time. And again, especially if you're interacting with a lot of people or regularly in a digital or electronic virtual format, that can be really tough because again, you're seeing people's highlight reels if you will. Let's say, did I ever feel that way, angry at others for not having an anxiety disorder? Well, I'm bringing it up, so I don't mind the question. I never don't want to ask a question. I don't hide things, but sometimes I'm a little reluctant. I know I talked about that in a podcast episode or two ago. I'm always reluctant to say what I did, but I would have to say that I never felt, I wouldn't say never. I did have moments where I would get really frustrated and impatient with this process. And that might make me get sort of short and snippy and a little bit yappy with the people around me, but it wasn't cause I was upset with them or resentful toward them.  I can admit that. So that was a thing. And I'm sure that's a thing that many of you might also feel also, even if you don't necessarily feel angry toward a person, you might just feel generally angry or frustrated with yourself and then we get a little bit ornery, which again, human beings can do.  It makes you under stress. I love the comments that you guys are really, really killing it. And I love how supportive you are by sharing all these things. Yeah, this is a thing too. Let's see here. The people I feel angry at are the people who refuse to even try to understand. Yeah, there are people like that. And yes, sometimes they can be family. I'm actually putting together this, which surprised me, I didn't expect this request, but the next most popular topic that was requested for me to do a workshop on is this topic. Like anxiety explained for friends and family. I literally just published that on my website and I'm gonna be working on that. It's gonna be in September, but often it can even be our closest friends and family. They're just not interested. Sometimes we get angry at other people because they see our struggles as very inconvenient for them. That's true. So I'm not trying to absolve the world of its transgressions because sometimes people can really suck. So that's true. I appreciate you pointing that out. I don't want to be upset. Okay, let's throw this up here, because this is important. Thank you, Aliyah, for sharing this too. I don't want to be upset at them for it. I just don't want to admit that I wish I could do what they do and I feel that I can't. Yeah, that makes sense. And that's that sense of shame sometimes and embarrassment that like, oh, I'm angry at people, but I don't want to feel angry at people. And does that mean that I'm bad? Am I a bad person? What does this turn me into? I've lost myself. Anxiety has turned me into this monster. I've heard those sort of things. And that's not a fair thing to say to yourself. You're just having normal emotions. Again, I will tie it back also to the feeling that you are selfish or self-centered because anxiety will want to make everything about itself. And this is a variant on that, right? So anxiety needs to be the center of attention all the time, disordered anxiety. Your fear has to be the center of attention all the time. You don't want it to be, you hate that, but it will force its way into the center of the universe and want everything to revolve around it. And it can also make you feel selfish or self-centered or uncaring or insensitive. It can make you feel all of those things sometimes, but it doesn't mean that you are. Just like it doesn't make you a bad person if you feel angry or resentful at times. That's important, stay in touch with that. Let's keep going. I just, I can relate to your book. Any advice how I can overcome it? Keep reading. So that's our Rx extreme. I suffer from anxiety and agoraphobia. I can relate to your book. So I'm guessing maybe the book you're reading is an anxiety story. That's just the story of what I did. The second book is called The Anxious Truth, that I can't tell you like in a comment on a YouTube video, this is how you overcome anxiety or agoraphobia. 200 and somewhat podcast episodes and multiple books about it. So just use the resources if you can. They could have empathy. I think that's fair. I do think that's fair. They could have empathy. I think I expect too much from people. I think it's not a lot to expect for people to at least be sensitive to the fact that other people struggle. And listen, not to turn it into a huge social commentary here. That's not a lot to ask, by the way. It's okay to want that from our fellow human beings, I think. But often, unfortunately, people tend to feel like it's not a problem unless it's my problem and that can come out in that. I don't even wanna know about your problem because your problem is harsh in my mellow, man.  I don't wanna have to deal with your problem. I only wanna deal with my problems. So that's tough. That's a tough place to be in for sure. Ooh, this is a good comment too. This is like all comments all the time. I actually enjoy this format rather than me just yacking at you for 15 minutes. Some people in my family think it's a choice. That's tough too. Because, and again, I'm not trying to hawk a workshop but this is what I'm working on now in this new one, talking about that and trying to explain that to them in many ways. And it's hard because when you try to explain it to your family that it's not a choice. It's hard for them to hear you explain it, right? It's hard to hear the suffering person explain it to you because they're in avoidance mode and they are in fear mode and they are in reaction mode. So you, unfortunately, in a situation where you try to tell your friends and family, this is not a choice. I'm legitimately terrified right now. They don't get it. Sometimes you need that third party or that other voice of authority to be able to explain that to them. But yeah, it's not a choice. We do have power and influence in the recovery process and part of recovery as we learn that but it's not a choice to become this way. That's absolutely, patently untrue, which is hard, you know? And they don't understand that. Hey, Rachel, good to see you. It's an important topic to get frustrated because I understand but I can't make other people understand. Okay, that's a big comment that'll cover the whole screen. But the idea that you would get frustrated and resentful possibly or angry at people because you can't make them understand is actually a bit of a clue. I don't think we should, this sometimes is controversial when I say this, people push back on this, but I do not think that it is incumbent upon us to make them understand something that they are not experiencing. We can try to make them understand the mechanics of what's going on, but they will never fully embrace the experience that we have as people who are dealing with things like OCD or health anxiety or panic disorder. So I think we have to be really careful about that because sometimes, and Rachel, I'm not saying you are doing this, but often we look for what's the word I'm looking for? We look for understanding but we're really looking for is accommodation. So we have to be careful about drawing the line like, listen, I can explain this to you so you understand why I'm like this. I doesn't mean that you should be expected to accommodate my fear forever. So it's a tough spot to be in because we have a right to support or we certainly have a right to want the support of our friends and our family, but we also have to make sure that we never abandon our own responsibility and our own power in the process. It's not responsibility and blame, it's power. So thanks Rachel, I appreciate it. And again, thank you for sharing. I'm obsessed with a certain sentiment sensation. Okay, we're gonna skip that a little bit today because it's a little off topic. Oh, it's not so much. Let's put Amber's comment up here. I watch other people and see that they don't focus on those sensations and how normal their life is and I wonder if I will ever be me again. So this is actually not a bad thing, right? So in this situation, Amber, and again, thank you for sharing in the comments here. I think when you look at somebody else who says, for instance, like, oh, it feels like I can't breathe today. And you hear it sometimes here in the Northeastern US and we can get, I understand, if you're in the Southwestern US, you guys were literally living on the sun, but we get high humidity or if you're in the Southeast or if you're in Florida, we get high temperatures and high humidity. And there are days when it just feels like the air is thick and you can't breathe. For an anxious person, that's a huge trigger, right? A lot of you would be super triggered by weather like that.  In a way, it will trigger some feelings of anger, resentment, or frustration, but we can also use those people as role models. Like why is this, why are all these people in the exact same environment that I'm in, they feel it too, they're even commenting on it, but only I interpreted it as a nightmare. Sometimes we can turn that around and use that to our advantage. So consider that, sometimes. They don't even mean to help us that way, but sometimes they can be role models for us because they're being oblivious to be completely honest with you. Sometimes that helps. Let's see here. Okay, Jose had a friend who would kind of belittle it a little bit and talk down about it and then when I'm calling an ambulance or panic attack, it happens, it happens. Let's see. No, no, no, I think I feel jealousy. Okay, that's fair too, Rachel, this is a good comment, I feel jealousy. Sure, envy, jealousy, I wanna be like them. I'm envious of them, yeah, I get that. Very normal, again, human beings, we feel stuff. So inconvenient, isn't it? I had a friend who always played down my issues with anxiety by telling me, oh, let's put this up. Thank you, Bessie, for sharing this. I had a friend that always played down my issues with anxiety by telling me to just take a pill and get over it. I heard that, I heard that now when I was going through the thick of my struggles, we were in the golden, I was called the golden era of miraculous pharmaceuticals like SSRIs had hit their stride where it was essentially, look, we figured out the brain and we can cure this stuff. I'm not making commentary on meds today, take them, don't. I support you either way, but I used to be told all the time, you know, we have a pill for that. So I get that, that felt, that used to make me angry because of my own personal experience. And again, I did three podcast episodes on that, go to my website, search anti-depressant, you will find three podcast episodes where I told my experience with meds and that's all I'm gonna say. I make no judgment, everybody's welcome. So that could be tough to hear though. Let's see, the comparison, who I used to be resonates. I'm a mom, Sharon, I work through her agoraphobia. It's tough to give myself the grace. I know I deserve through this hard work. Yeah, and sometimes it's that negative, harsh judgment that triggers, we're angry at ourselves, we're frustrated, like we're impatient, we're seeing ourselves as less than, or I used to see myself as failing. Then I started to feel like a failure and that will make all kinds of big emotions like anger and resentment, for sure. You guys are killing it today in the comments. I did a couple of episodes of the podcast. One was called, How Do We Make My Family Understand My Anxiety, and again, that's the workshop that I'm working on. We're going into much more detail there. I did two episodes of the podcast with my friend Holly. You guys, if you've listened to all the podcast episodes, you know, Holly, that was called Someone I Care About Has Anxiety, How Do I Help? That was a two-parter. And I did write about it in the book a little bit too in The Anxious Truth. So it's a big topic. It's hard to describe these things. It really is. And sometimes having that third party to explain it can certainly be helpful. So let's see here. Ooh, this is great. I'm a big fan of this comment. It may be important to say I have an anxiety disorder and I hope you can understand, rather than just telling them a symptom and expecting them to understand, right here, this is gold, this comment right here is gold. Thank you so much, Lisa, because I think that's a really productive way to interact. Now, the person you're talking to or the people might still not get it. They may still dismiss you. They may still not care. They may still be uncaring or even nasty toward you. We can't control that. But this is probably a great way to approach it as opposed to I feel like I can't breathe. I feel like I'm dizzy, because especially if they've heard you say that a thousand times, this starts to make more sense. So thank you, Lisa. Very good. Let's see here. Adrenaline is self-limiting. Do I have a book or something that explains this? When I, hang on. This is the book. That's the book that you probably want. That goes through all of these things. Can you see it? Is it focused? Look at that. Look, I'm an influencer. I'll put my hand behind it. Anyway, so yeah, Matt, this book talks about that. Be careful though, about wanting continuous detailed scientific explanation about the self-limiting nature of adrenaline. Sometimes you can get trapped in that. Like, well, I've heard that adrenaline is self-limited and I've read about it four times. I've seen 16 articles and listened to four podcast episodes. But can you give me more information about that? Just be careful about that. Okay, hello, Fake Canada. So Mary Lisa asks, isn't it kind of a choice if we don't do the work? Okay, so yeah, that's my influencer. I've got to put your hand behind the camera, sorry. So it focuses. This is a really good comment. This is where we find our power and our influence in the recovery process. I don't necessarily disagree with this, but it's kind of, I don't totally agree, but I also totally don't disagree. I agree with the principle, but it's really hard to say this without sounding like we're blaming ourselves or victim blaming, if you will. Not that there's no victims here, but we don't wanna ever make it sound like you're choosing to be that way. Where that starts to become relevant and people can start to get really impatient with us and then we start to get triggered into feeling, I don't know, you know, angry or resentful is when they have tried to understand and they have kind of seen what's going on and they do sort of know what you have to do and we keep refusing to do it. Yeah, that sometimes can start to come out as like, well, you're just not doing it. I get that, I get that. So that's a good point. Let's see here. Makes sense, very good. Let's keep going. There are weeks new of this issue as well. She talked about it. You probably look at others in the street and wonder, yep, sure, Dr. Weeks did talk about this. You're totally right. Let's see here. Oh my God. I'm putting this up on the screen. I had to explain exposure therapy and they thought it meant I walked outside with that much in the way of clothing. Now that's funny, but in the same vein it is illustrative of how little the general population, and look, I'm glad they don't know because it means that they haven't had to know. You should probably be happy that most people don't understand the mechanics of an anxiety disorder because it means they haven't had to, but it really, that plays toward like, well, they don't really get it. Like they actually don't get it. So like they literally took the word exposure as literal in that situation. Interesting. Let's keep going here. What was your highest heart rate in your worst panic? Because I'm never gonna answer that. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what my highest heart rate is. Your heart rate, no matter how fast it has been has never caused a problem in the end other than make you be afraid. So I'm not gonna go to that. I'm not gonna do that. Let's see here. Feel the same way. Don't wanna be the old me. Okay, this is cool. This is like one of those healthy outlooks on recovery. I wanna grow and evolve. Nothing wrong with that. Sure. Listen, I think part of the reason why we start to get angry and resentful at people who aren't struggling is because again, we were triggered and feel about ourselves, but sometimes it's natural to pine away for the old me or the non-anxious me or the me that used to do things before I was afraid to go to the supermarket or get the mail or do it or whatever. The me before I was consumed with the thought that I might never get better. The me before I was constantly worried about my food being poisoned or that I accidentally hurt somebody with my car. I get that. So we can pine for the old us, but also know that this process does change a person and there's probably, if nothing more, a broader version of you. I won't say better because that's maybe a judgment call I don't get to make, but a different version of you that's had more life experience that's faced and challenges that learn more about yourself. I know it sounds like I'm sort of leaning toward better version, but I won't go on. I won't say better. I'm gonna stop saying that. Let's see here. Ooh, okay, good one too. This can also trigger those feelings of like anger and resentment. Like, hey, I just did a hard thing. How about a pat on the back? We do deserve a pat on the back. Like everybody needs a pat on the back. I generally did my recovery work in solitude, but even I could use a pat on the back now then. So none of us can just go through life without this often. So that's cool too. If you just want somebody to say good job, I know how hard that was and they just stay silent. That's a tough one. Let's see here. When you get anxious, I get irritable. Sure, I become super snappy. 100%, I totally get that. Like it's a nicotine feed. Like a nicotine feed. This is a good comment. A lot of people feel this way. Some people withdraw, some people wanna be alone, some people get really silent.  It's a tough one, man. Like the fact that you recognize this is probably a good starting point. I recognize what I'm doing. So you might have an issue where when you start to get anxious or you're in that heightened state, you start to get really snappy and snippy with people. But once you've recognized that you did it, maybe before you get into that situation, considering a plan that you can follow, like okay, when I get into that state, my best bet is to try to engage as best I can. But when I find myself lashing out at people because my anxiety does that to me or makes me want to do that, I can take a few steps back, not isolate, not hide in the cave, but maybe I need to disengage for a few minutes and give myself a cooling down period, let it peek and come down, that sort of stuff. Because in a lot of instances, that's a response that it's fight or flight. Some people, I've heard some people say, I'm not saying this is true. That's the fight version of fight or flight. I'm gonna start to get angry and lash out at the people around me. Sometimes it's like, how come nobody here is making me feel safe? But let me back up a little bit and just be silent for a couple of minutes and see what happens then. That's one way to go. Hope that helps. Let's see. When is it going to end? Sure, all of these things are reasons why you might feel anxious, oh, not anxious, angry and resentful. Resentful, let's see here. Let's see, it doesn't matter how angry other people get, nobody gets mad at me than myself. Sure, Rachel, you really, thank you, I really appreciate this. That makes me angry, but sometimes I feel I needed to help. So this is really good, Rachel, you've been very open today and I appreciate you. It doesn't matter how angry other people get, nobody gets mad at me than myself. Yeah, I feel that, I can relate to that. For some people, that feeling of anger and resentment, and I'm glad you brought this up, if you start to feel like this sucks, I'm not getting better, I'm missing out on life, I wanna be like the old me, I wanna be involved in life and I can't, look at all those people out there doing that. Sometimes when I would get really frustrated by that and impatient by that, I would use that as motivation. Sometimes when I was really angry at me and felt like I was failing or a failure, I would get angry at me and I would use that as motivation. So sometimes, even though I know popular self-help advice would say, anger is a useless emotion, it should be engineered out of us, it's pointless, sometimes it's motivator, sometimes. I'm not saying to continually berate yourself, but using that as motivation is sometimes helpful. Let's see here, let's keep going. This is great, it's just, you guys are making the content today. I'm feeling lazy, I just get to listen to your comments because they're all really good, by the way. Let's see here, the food being poisoned thing. Yeah, I just had that intrusive thought. I wanna go into today because it's a little off topic. I've talked about that before. It's in podcast episodes and whatnot. Food being poisoned, it's literally just nothing more than an intrusive thought. I used to have that irrational intrusive repetitive thought that my food was poisoned. So it wasn't a special thing.  Mine just happened to be that, right? So that my food was poisoned. So it wasn't a special intrusive thought, it just was an intrusive thought. This is a tough one too, this is gonna make you feel angry as well. My family will tell me to just stop thinking. Think happy thoughts is bad enough.  Your brains don't work that way. So yeah, that would certainly make you feel a little bit angry and resentful, right? Let's see here. Fake it till you make it. Somebody's asking me to explain that. I don't remember which episode of Disordered that I do with Josh Fletcher. We literally just talked about fake it till you make it. I don't remember which one that was. But if you're checking, if you're listening to Disordered that's, we talked about that. Fake it till you make it is kind of a real thing. Act the way you want to feel is the super gross oversimplification of kind of in a nutshell what this sort of looks like. Maybe that helps. Let's see. Let's keep going, let's keep going, let's keep going. I believe once you get through this you become a stronger person. Yeah, I believe so. I think so too. I think there's, we do find strength in this. So even when we're confronted with things like anger and resentment and feeling like we're selfish and self-centered and we don't like ourselves, the silver lining that you do not see at all until afterwards that anybody in the room who is either further down the road to recovery or would call themselves recovery can verify this, you do not see it during. So I can tell you about valuable lessons and there's gold forge in these fires and one day you'll be happy for some of those lessons. Throw it away because until you get there you won't see it. So sometimes it's not fair for me to say stuff like that because you don't see it right now. Let's see here. If you don't tell, let's put this up real quick. Is it shame if you don't tell insensitive people about your actual agoraphobia? Should we just tell them? Can't really say that's an individual choice. Like some people, I mean, you can start from the basic premise that like your mental health is your business and no one else's. Start from that premise. You don't have to tell anybody. Don't also buy into the narrative that says if you repress it, it means you're not healing or something that's not an absolute truth either. So you can start from the premise that like nobody has to know about this if I don't want it to my mental health is private, right?  Then go from there. Is it shame if you don't want to tell them? I can't say why you don't want to tell them. So I can't really say that. And should I tell them? I can't really say that either. It's very, very individual. So I'm sorry they don't have a good answer for you. But sometimes there are instances where people don't know about your agoraphobia. You're working on it. Do they need to know about it? Sometimes it would make things easier on ongoing relationships if they did know about it. But that is so individual and so based on context that there's no right or wrong answer to that. Sorry. Okay. So it's okay to get like, listen, I'm seeing comments here about feeling like failure. I'm kind of going through them really quickly. Yeah, that's really common. Like I used to feel like a failure. I felt like I was feeling and then I would feel like a failure which is worse than feeling like I was failing. Failing was contextual and experiential. Failure was about me. So that was a tough one. But that happens. You're gonna feel like that. I feel less than today. I feel down today. I feel low today. Now that I know how I feel, how can I express that? And then what can I do with that? Is such an important part of this. I am not saying that this is just about shake it off. Like shake it off and just get on with your life. It's never that. We don't get to just shake off our emotions or ignore them or engineer them away through some sort of exposure or action. But once you recognize that you are feeling a way about yourself, I'm allowed to feel this way about myself because I'm human. Maybe I wanna tell somebody about it. Maybe I need to cry to my friend about it. Maybe I need to put my head on someone's shoulder and just feel that way for an hour or two or a day or whatever it is. Then what can I do with that feeling? Cause I know that feeling. I understand why I have it. I'm gonna allow it. I'm gonna be nice to myself. Now what do I do next? So when I was feeling like a failure, I would say, well then what can I do to help me feel less like a failure today or tomorrow? Maybe today I'm just gonna sit around and sulk. That happened, but then what am I gonna do with it? It's kind of important to remember that you have to take the next step. You get to validate your feelings always, always. Then what do I do with them? It's always important in the recovery process. You will find that as you come into these, there's generally a topic that I try to stay on. So I know that you just wanna ask me questions about your particular symptoms or challenges. And there's a ton of old episodes. I've done episodes on caffeine and alcohol and stuff. So you might wanna just check through those. Let's see here. I think I got to kind of the end here. Just stop worrying about it. Here's another one I wanna put up on the screen. My husband is big at telling me to just stop worrying about it. You can't. If you could just stop worrying about it, you totally would just stop worrying about it. If any of us could just decide to not be afraid, we would not be afraid. I wouldn't be here now. I wouldn't have to have this YouTube channel and write these books. So that's not cool. That's a person who doesn't understand the mechanics of that. It would be like telling him to stop thinking about something. He never, so in this situation, you could respond to your husband and say, you think about things all the time. You just don't interpret those thoughts like I do, but you still think about them. If I dare him to not think about something and he will see that he can't not think about something, just that the interpretation is different. So in this situation, it's not that you should be able to stop worrying. You learn to stop worrying by allowing yourself to worry, but don't answer the worries. And it's a whole thing that most people don't understand. It's not cool. All right, so where are we here? 37 minutes, I'm gonna wrap it up in a few. Let me see if we have any of your comments. Oh, hanging there, Jason. I see your granddaughter had a panic attack. I get it. That's tough to see, you know? Yeah, to feel better, you have to learn to feel better, that's true. Well, let me take this comment out. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you hanging out there like that. Let's go down to the bottom, because I thought I had all of them. Sometimes I think it's anger, but it ends up being anxiety. Okay, this is good too, let's pop this up here. Anger comes from being pressured to get better. Let's put this up here because I think this sort of is important and we'll sort of wrap it up with this, but sometimes I think it's anger, but it just ends up being anxiety. It's like I asked myself, am I honestly even angry? I wanna end with this comment because I think today we're talking about emotions. We're specifically talking about being angry and resentful at people who aren't struggling like we are. And Wyatt Earp just said anxiety, hijacks emotions. This is such a common thing. It's not just you. There are 72 people watching live right now. I bet 50 of them would say, I went through periods or I'm in one right now where I cannot identify my own emotions. By show of hands, who has a hard time like identifying your own emotions? I used to have a really hard time identifying my emotions because I would know like, well, I'm sad, but I would only be sad for like eight seconds and then boom, it would instantly be fear. I would be really angry and then boom, it would instantly be fear. I would, this would happen again and again and again. So sometimes we don't even know what we're feeling or you sort of knew initially and then it instantly becomes anxiety or fear and whatever you felt initially as I was at the window. So know that as you get better at building a more normalized again, not extreme or catastrophic relationship with your own body and thoughts, your ability to identify your emotions clearly does come back over time. One of the stories I always love to tell because people like to hear it is the day that I got really angry and was only angry. Like that was a moment for me that told me like, oh, check it out, my hanger didn't morph into something. So as you go through this process and you reset your relationship with anxiety and fear and uncertainty and vulnerability and they don't become critical messages, they are coming through, Carol. I promise they are. My messages aren't coming through. I don't wanna comment on them though because that, well, we can hear you. I promise we're all here and we see you when we're listening to you. I promise we are. Notice how you will start to turn on yourself though. Be careful about that. Nobody's listening to me. I'm saying I'm inadequate and nobody's responding to me. Thank you, thank you, I appreciate it. We see you, you're here, you're part of this community. You have been for a long time, we care, I promise. But to go back to finish my point, it's, because I don't wanna, I don't wanna also single you out in a public video, right? But just know that everybody here, we see everybody here, everybody's welcome. But yeah, over time, our ability to discern our emotions do come back. They will come back, I promise. So thanks for hanging out, guys. I appreciate it. We're at about 40 minutes. I'm gonna hit the road. I got a few other things to take care of today. This was great. You guys were so good in the comment section today. I appreciate you all so much because this was mostly you guys just saying how you felt and talking to each other. And I think that's really awesome. That's my favorite part of this whole community is when you guys are nice to each other. It really is the best part. It's the thing that makes me smile the most and I appreciate it. So thank you so much. I appreciate it. This will stay up on my YouTube channel and on Facebook and in the Facebook group. Finding them on Facebook and in the Facebook group sometimes gets really frustrating. So come back to the YouTube channel for sure and subscribe to the channel if you're not because there's a whole playlist called Recovery Monday. If you ever wanna watch this stuff back, you're good to go. Thanks guys, appreciate it. I will see you again next Monday, but the Monday after. And what are we talking about this week in my podcast? This week we're talking about EMDR, EMDR therapy. So I have a therapist coming on to talk about EMDR. That'll be out on Wednesday morning. Disordered with Josh on Friday is, what are we talking about? We're talking about relapse and setback and what we call reversion. That's Friday on Disordered. See you later. We're out.