Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan as they have John as a comment I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today our topic the five stupid questions women ask and don't do number four Really quickly if you're new to my YouTube channel do me a favor and please hit the subscribe button hit the bell So you can be notified of new content and if at any time during this video I share something that you like Please hit that like button that way more people actually get notified of this video and I got a tweak this because I just noticed That's a little bit off Our topic the five stupid things women ask men now really quickly I just want to oh by the way for those that are watching the replay right now I just want you know I do the content first then I go into Q&A so if you just want to hear the content don't worry You're gonna begin that first.  So this isn't gonna be anything Mostly it isn't gonna be anything new to you However, what I'm going to do is talk about the sub the reason why this happens and maybe when you can Understand why these things happen why sometimes women and or men say stupid things in relationship when we can get under the surface We can actually work on healing what's coming up Okay, so I'm gonna put on my trusty glasses after I do a little bit of cleaning up because for those who know me I've got my notes right there. I'm not gonna share it.  And again, these happen because of a reason. So that's really the more important thing to talk about so the first one is When a woman and by the way, this is typically when you're already in relationship with someone It's not necessarily what happens in the initial stages of dating. This is actually once you begin date You're in a relationship with someone So the first one is have you noticed anything different? So this is typically when say a woman Or a guy, I mean, I guess this could go either way, but you've just gotten a haircut You've gotten a new hairstyle or something along those lines a dress or something and you say have you noticed anything different? now Obviously the purpose of this is because you're seeking some level of validation you're seeking some level of Acknowledgement from your partner So the real sub cause of these questions is because there's really something else going on Because the reality is is sometimes men are tuned into what they're doing in life and they're not necessarily Hyper-focused on everything that's happening in your life. Just like you're not hyper.  In fact, we're kind of you know We have more like a diffused awareness or you know, well, let me backtrack We have more hyper-awareness and you ladies tend to have diffused awareness You see everything and we're just hyper whatever is happening at that given time. That's what we're focused on So when you say something like, you know, have you noticed anything different? Just you know after you got a haircut, let's understand that this is because you're seeking some level of validation And you don't need a man to validate you for you to feel good about yourself Let me repeat that you don't need a man to validate you for you to feel good about yourself And if you're struggling with this then this is again where I highly recommend checking out my book What the heck is self-love anyway?  If you're watching the replay the description the link to get a copy of this Is in the description below So let's think of some of that let's look at some of the other things that women often say So this is a this is a classic one what I'm about to say is does this dress Make me look fat. Does this outfit make me look fat? Does this outfit make me look bad type of thing Now here's the thing. How would you feel if he said yes? So don't ask a question by the way men are by the way most men know not to step into the quicksand on this one Okay, most men know not to stand step into the quicksand But why are you setting up the quicksand to begin with now?   I don't even like characterizing You know fat or whatever, but since the person who brought it up initiated that I'm just here to say that you know what it's great to get I know it's important to get validation from our partner but let me tell you something I was in relationship with a woman and Whenever she got dressed up to go out. She didn't have to ask me She didn't have to ask me how do I look because the first words out of my mouth every time I saw her work? Wow And so she knew I mean not and part of it was because I complimented her throughout our you know The day in our relationship with what not but yes a guy who genuinely cares about you when he sees you all dressed up And you're ready to go out. He's gonna go why you look by the way My favorite thing is to say what is it wow? I oh, that's a wow So that's a W. Wow, let's see wait W that my face is the oh and then another W All right, let's look at the third thing now Here's one that women some women do not often but this happens is what you thinking when you're saying to a guy What you're thinking especially? When he's in the middle of watching the sports or doing something that he's focused on remember men tend to be hyper focused when they Do things so when you're just shifting the narrative and say what you're thinking what you're thinking It's because most likely you're trying to you're most likely not feeling secure in the relationship And you're needing some level of validation This is why I'm such a big proponent to doing the inner work to doing the inner work So you're not in a place of neediness because all of these things really do reflect a level of neediness By the way, I noticed in the chats a number of you mentioned you bought my book. Thank you so much I'm honored again.  All right, what's the fourth and this is what I said don't ever do Okay, and this has happened to me I know it's happened to a lot of other guys I know and maybe you've done this maybe you haven't but have you ever been out with your boyfriend and you see an Attractive woman and do you say do you think that woman is prettier than me? Do you think that woman is prettier than me now? We recognize what you're hoping to get the answer is no you're way more beautiful And and God forbid what what's gonna happen if the guy says yeah, I think she's gorgeous You have to be able to look inside yourself and say if you're gonna ask a question seeking validation How can I shift the narrative? I don't need your validation for me to feel good about myself I can learn to validate myself. That's why ladies I talk about so many different books In my coaching program because I want you to begin a journey like what my book talks about It's a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work So you actually come to the table fully conscious and aware and ready for a juicy delicious healthy Relationship is this sinking in this is why I love the book if the Buddha dated if the Buddha dated and why I love This book is because it takes out all the gender expectations in relationship and Focuses on what's most important is your spirit and your heart your spirit in your heart And if you can actually start leaning into your heart in fact, I have a podcast called the what would love do podcast It's on Amazon. It's on Google. It's on Spotify. It's on titcher stitcher, and it's on my website It's the what would love do podcast any time you're faced with a challenge in your life I invite you to say what would love do or how would love respond? Let me repeat that what would love do or how would love respond because when you can lean into your own loving when you can lean into Genuine love then you're not going to need the validation that we're talking about here. Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know All right, and the last one for today's pod or live stream is honey. What's wrong?  Okay, you don't need to ask and sometimes Asking puts us in a pressure situation that we have to respond now That's different than if you want to ask something material to the relationship That's a different type of question if it's material to the relationship. I'm a big proponent of both men and women being Transparent in their relationship being transparent and what transparency means if if it's something that's going to affect both your lives And I think it's important to bring it up. This is why I highly recommend reading this book how to be an adult in relationships how to be an adult in relationships because a Lot of times that what I'm noticing today in most dating and relationship Relationships is that they're rather casual most Relationships are rather casual and because they lack a significant roots to commitment the significant roots to commitment It's understandable why you might want to find out what's going on So I'm a highly Attuned and agree that if it's material to the relationship you have every right to ask now part of the problem is how you ask This is why if we're going to really dig deep today I want everyone to buy this book nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg It actually should have been titled compassionate communication. Why this is so critically important is That when you learn to communicate in a more effective way It'll land on your partner and he can then he or she can communicate more effectively to you So I just shared the five stupid things women ask men And I'm going to repeat them really quickly and that we're going to get ready for the live chat All right. So number one. Have you noticed anything different about me? This is after getting a haircut or something number two. Does this dress make me look fat? Number three. What's you thinking while he's watching a sporting event number four Do you think that woman is prettier than me and number five honey? What's wrong? Men will tell you what's wrong. All right. I hope you found value in this now Let's okay before we go any further.  I want to thank everyone who's here I do have a couple of personal things.  I've been blessed my mom and dad. There's my mom and dad They were married 66 years before my mom passed away. My father now is 95 and 395 and three-quarter years old. So he's gonna be 96. He still has a head of hair I am thankful to my mom and dad But I have to tell you when that person was with no disrespect. You need to use a different hair coloring I just had the laughs. So I just wanted to share that with you All right, let's talk about some of the stupid things guys say I already see one You know one question come up and it's a great question.  Why are you single or why are you doing that? Should you be doing that? Okay? So this question about being single and it's kind of a It's actually and it's it hits a nerve with me as well because I'm a single man out in the dating realm And I get a lot of flat because well if you're such a great dating coach, why don't you have a life partner? So here's my feeling about that question. Okay, there's no there's you know a lot of people focus on the Destination and not the journey. They're focusing on the destination as if having a partner in your life Mean something. Okay, some of us and by the way, I'm actively dating. I'm on the dating apps Okay, I'm act or I'm actively putting myself out there and Whether I meet my life partner Tomorrow, which is quite a possibility or two years from now It doesn't matter the when what's most important is the individual journey Now if we look at the stupidness of the question What it's really saying is part of that question is saying what's wrong with you for being single or at least That's how it can be interpreted as what's wrong with you being single as if there is something wrong and there is Nothing wrong. It just simply means you haven't met your person yet In fact, there's four reasons why you're single.  So yes, I do believe that's a stupid question men and women say that continually And the follow-up is why are you doing that or should you be doing that? Um Well, should you is an interesting question, you know, because it is somewhat creating some judgment about what someone is doing So I do I'm not sure I'm a fan of that because that to me feels like judgment In the same venue. Why are you doing that feels like judgment? So it's actually to me. That's kind of toxic questions to ask someone Because it's judging the person. I'm not a big fan of that So that's just my interpretation of that one. Sal. That was a great question to ask.  How's your day? Oh my god. All right I'm in the same boat ladies. I can't tell you how many dating apps Question, you know, the first thing. How's your day going? I I'm tired of that. Can I share with you?  I like people with depth who speak with a twisted mind I don't want to know What's up, right? Can you see that? I don't want to know what's up. Okay So anyway, I hope you found some value in that All right, so let's see what else we have here By the way, joy C writes my mother my grandmother still had dark hair in her 90s without dying She wore it in a bun. It went down to her waist. Love it. Thank you for sharing that.  Jonathan, which dating site do you use? All right, let's go through Jonathan's dating site. So we have Jonathan is on hinge He's on match.com. He's on tinder. He's on the league. He's on bumble Um, is there anyone else? Is there any other? Oh, and I'm on millionaire match Those are the sites I'm on now. Uh, some of them I pay for some of I don't A match.com is the one I do pay for Um, I look at this by the way everyone I look at it like this Putting yourself out there is like the more spokes in the wheel the more places you put yourself out there the more Opportunities you have in fact and I'm a big proponent now. Just I The other day I met a woman at my my gym at the complex I live at And she has a big tiktok influence or she's a big influencer She has half a million followers on tiktok and instagram and I put it out there to her I said do me a favor, you know, pimp me out to your community and if you have any single women send it my way So I'm here to say I put myself out to every opportunity I possibly can I limit the amount of time I spend on a dating app to probably 15 to 20 minutes a day max That doesn't include communicating with someone but going through swiping looking at it. Um, I did I'm communicating with a couple of women right now Who knows what's going to happen a lot of times a nine out of ten times it flakes out anyway But it's not actually I don't think that's a stupid question claire and I really do appreciate you asking so Let's go through All right Sal writes, thank you so much jonathan. Exactly.  I'm not drinking.  I mean, it's actually it's I can understand why he says it Is it stupid?  We're gonna try because ladies. What do men think on a first date? What are they thinking? We're thinking about sex every most every man Operates that way.  We love to hunt pursue sex. We love to chase sex. Okay? Yes, we do that what we are not hunting pursuing and chasing is I want to be in a relationship. I want to be in a relationship. I want to be in a relationship Men aren't doing that You're so so when you hear the narrative that men love to hunt chase and pursue You're assuming we want a relationship with you. That's not what we're hunting We will absolutely hunt sex But here's the problem the dating process is very challenging today because it it It's hard to actually get to know another human being by the way. Tell you I appreciate that question It's it so most humans are Rather stupid when it comes to getting to know one another This is why when I created my private coaching program is I teach first off ladies.  You're thinking of the notebook You're thinking of serendipity. You're thinking of gone with the wind or something. I'm just picking that I don't know where that came from But you're thinking about it from the clouds one of the things I when I work with a client Is I help them get clarity on who's really right for them I help them get clarity on how to actually get to know another human being and lastly I teach them how to that for emotional maturity And I'm going to say to you both men and women alike are terrible at this. You're terrible at getting to know people It doesn't make you bad doesn't make anyone bad. It's just this is just Because no one taught us how to get to know another human Being so if you need help if you need support by the way in the description Of this pot or this live stream is a link to a free discovery call with me to see of working with the coaches Right for you. My job is to teach or to help Teach you something that was not taught How to actually get to know another human being how to actually Find out who's really compatible with you And how to vet for emotional maturity the problem is we humans humans mostly focus on chemistry As the indication for relationship success.  Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know hit that like button all right Jonathan that's all I talk about no small talk here way to go jane all right sb writes hinge.   Why haven't you called me for men who get accustomed to women always calling or lazy to reciprocate? ah so Just like women can be needy towards men men can be equally needy They can be possessive. They can be territorial and they can be jealous Okay So Why haven't you called me either could come from a place of neediness? Or it's coming from a place of either territorial or um jealousy Now the problem with this is it's all an underlying issue of insecurity It's an underlying issue of lacking self-love whether it's a man or woman This is why I highly recommend checking out the book the hoffman process the hoffman process Because there's an underlying wound that it's going by the way, there's a link below to all the books under jonathan recommends But let me just say this there's an underlying wound that causes a man or woman To ask these stupid questions because quite frankly it's all of the stupid questions come from Insecurity insecurity. That's why the more you shore up your self-love And this is why I'm such a big proponent This isn't the book. This is the cd version But I highly recommend checking out maria and williams book called a return to love a return to love This is a phenomenal book to get okay Um because it's all about returning to your heart centered space And I know a lot of you think you're there, but let me tell you something I work with women who think they're fully Emotionally mature and I can spot like this how many times they are literally either in victim consciousness or in righteousness Let me repeat that. They're either in victim consciousness or righteousness It's very natural as a human being to either feel like a victim or to be Righteous and the space in between is where our humanless lies Humankind be both by the way, if you like my shirt, please post a comment below and let me know All right, let's see what other questions we have um oops So joy says When a guy asks why are you not married just another take on why you're not single so now Sometimes so it's interesting So when a man when a woman is let's say she's 40 52 No, I'll make it 45 and We'll make her 45 whatever it doesn't matter the age 45 to 60 You need a man who's 45. He's 50 he's 55 and he's never been married. Your first thought is He's either commitment phobic or something's wrong with him So for us men, we don't necessarily think women are commitment phobic What we think when a woman is 45 50 55 60 and never married we're thinking what's wrong with her That's what's most humans think when you hear about that Now there is first off. There's nothing wrong with you. You just haven't met your person yet. Okay And some people I don't know how many women say to me Well, I've been engaged five times as if that's a badge of honor You've been engaged so many times, but you said no to them. All right So what does that say about your picker if you've been engaged six times or five times? I totally crack up When I hear that Thanks joy by the way, I totally crack up when I hear that as if You know, like I said, it's a badge of honor and okay, I get it The bottom line is as I said before the journey is not the destination. The journey is the experience of life This is why I highly recommend reading this book If you want to change your life, tell me if you want to change your life Post a comment or post it here if you want to change your life I highly recommend reading this book the untethered soul by michael singer This is my bible. If you will next to my own book Is my bible and what I mean to say is if you want to shift If you want to shift your life, this should be the most important book By your nightstand Read one chap by the way rule of thumb only read one chapter of time until you get to all 19 chapters And then read one chapter a week thereafter. Just do this Okay, stealing freedom from your soul. That was the chapter and I'm going to read that tonight before I go to bed Because that is what spirit told me to read All right, uh, I hope you're enjoying this right now. Um, let's see what else we have Oops Okay I'm drinking wine. It's friday. I've got coffee jennifer. Thank you Tina says shoulda is shaming Sadly, it is whenever we say should you are effectively shaming someone Um, susie writes. Hey, I can make say that name. Why can't women drive? Oh, I love that one. I love that one You know, that's funny I'm always like when I drove with my girlfriend. I was always nervous now. That's partly because When I'm sitting in the passenger seat, I'm always nervous because I like being in control So it's very difficult To not want to be in control, but why can't women drive? Well, that's a classic one. I love it That's just a stereotype again. That's why this is just meant this this live stream today was just for fun just to Enjoy ourselves today and talk about some silly things, but susie. I really do agree with you.  That's a good stupid question from guys I've heard that one and it drives me bonkers all right Let's see what else we have oops. Hey kim. Thank you um Let's see Oh, here's a good one from susie again Number two, let's meet for coffee and see if we're going to get along I wonder if at he at age 70 had trouble getting along Um, actually, I disagree with you.  In fact in my mind This is a great thing to say.  It's a stew that comes up in a first meeting is a sniff test So meeting for coffee is a very simple way of meeting someone To see if you get along. I'm sorry susie. I don't think that's a stupid question I think that's a great question and if anyone thinks less of that Then my question is what's your judgment around that? Why is I know you didn't mean to I don't mean to call you out susie So let me just say this But you know, I I do believe that's a great, you know great way to To engage. Okay. Now if someone has a problem, then what's the expectation behind it? What's the expect were you expecting dinner were you expecting drinks were you expecting something else? I think coffee dates for a first meeting are absolutely acceptable when you're meeting a total stranger for the first time This is someone you've most likely connected with through this app It is absolutely acceptable to meet for coffee There's you don't have to meet for drinks and you don't have to meet for dinner Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know Tina says And by the way, susie, thank you. Tina says love your shirt me too. By the way, you can get this on amazon All right Claire says Match bumble hinge. Yes, or rebecca says that I'm agreeing with you Um Rebecca says I think guys mean that a compliment mean that as a compliment, but uh, I hate that one too I'm not sure which one that was So but sometimes that's I'm almost I'm assuming that that is true Um, jennifer says I get the question all the time about why I've never been married and I'm in my 40s I have not met the right person yet. Exactly All right, let's shift the narrative from the date of the marriage question. Okay, let's let's okay Well, first off if you have any other question post the word question and then write the question So I can find it much easier in the chat But if you have something let's get off the stupid question topic and let's get down to some nitty gritty stuff By the way, I want to address or first off Uh sal writes in the beginning of dating I like how my man changed the narrative of single question to ask me if I have a number of guys flirting with me Or if I've noticed guys flirting with me. Okay, that's interesting. I would agree with that. So thank you I want to address something. Okay. I'm gonna look to see if there's any Okay, if you have a question or if you want if you have a question either buy a super sticker Buy a super chat and then post the question or write the word question and post it that'll make it easier for me to find, okay J m k j m j k Is that a guy or girl divorce man over 40 consistently texting an arranging date The first three weeks then suddenly kind of pulled back after we almost had sex. Is it possible something went wrong? Um, I have to sneeze. So please forgive me. I I feel it coming on So let me read that one more time. Um, consistently texting a range. Yeah, a number. Yeah, here's the thing It's a it's a roll of the dice, you know, the early stages of dating. Um Um, I paused because I was reading another question.  Okay Um, some people don't know who she is. Um, anyway, um So going back to this narrative In the beginning stages, you know what when you when you feel enthusiastic and like someone It's natural to to over promise And under deliver. Okay over promise and under deliver Now what happened is when you said that almost sex happened and then you stopped hearing from him What possibly happened was he got embarrassed? I'm not I don't know if that's the case but it's quite possible he got embarrassed And for whatever reason and then because of that, he's ashamed to pursue any further So that's my gut judgment to tell you what happened. I can't say that as an absolute truth But that's possibly what happened or he just over promised and wasn't able to deliver Okay, um Let's see rebecca if they're doing one thing they generally don't have a lot of other things floating around in their heads That is true. Men tend tend to be singular focused Unless we unless he's a player then he can be multifocused on multiple women at the same time Just he might not just he's spreading himself then but you know, this whole thing that men are absolutely single focused That's not really true if a man can communicate with 10 women at the same time or a woman can you know Doesn't mean he's single, you know, well his single focus is either I want to get laid Okay, so yes, that is the single focus But men can do it with 10 women at the same time. So I'm just putting that out there Um Patricia says keep yourself safe on dates with a stranger. Yes. Most everyone is a stranger This is why I do my best to vet someone before I date them.   You know what? I didn't like that app.  Okay Maybe millennials could figure that out. I couldn't figure it out. But that's just me um Joy says how about when a guy asked why don't we ditch your friends and hang out with me?  I don't consider that a stupid question I think that's a pretty good question. Hey, why don't you ditch your friends and hang out with me? Here's the thing if you like the guy, you're gonna say yes So, you know, I don't I don't know. Well, joe, I don't know why you asked that question or why you pointed that out But I'll say I actually like that one.  Susie writes Okay. Oh, john.  He was kind of grumpy and just sounded kind of weird to me from this man Hey, sometimes we catch people at bad days. So um, but that's your interpretation. But I didn't consider that Stupid question.  Ask me something deeper now All right, um Well, I'm gonna Let's see.  I'm a gen z But I like the quality of men and coffee mix bagel Listen, I'm just saying I'm a boomer. I don't know how the yacht works So I want to address a couple of something really important right now. Let me fix something here um So let's let's Oh, okay. Colleen writes a great question How do you get a guy to open up about past experience when he has a history of a lot of trauma? He's avoidant workaholic so I have there's I watched a video from a secret service agent who worked for three different presidents And one of the things in the secret service is you literally have to go through Extensive human behavior training so you can spot people who are lying or spot people who are a threat And so I was listening to this podcast And she actually gave a great example of three things to ask three things to ask And I'm going to probably screw this up um But if you really want to shift the way you ask questions of someone and colleen, I love this one by the way If you really want to shift the way you ask questions of someone there's three ways to ask Tell me about blank. So tell me about your your childhood or tell me about your past experience. So it's tell me The e or so it's ted ted tell me Explain to me or describe to me Tell me explain to me or describe to me What what that does is it causes people to go beyond the surface to go deeper It's now I know you might be reluctant to use this technique But I want maybe you could start off at smaller layers About his life and then lead up to the deeper things that require because it's so important It is critically important to learn about a person's past experiences because Their past can you can actually predict a person's behavior based on their past experiences And then follow up question is how did you heal from those past experiences? So Tell me explain to me and describe is a way to start asking better questions When you're in the dating process. So I I know that's not really answering your question colleen because Someone who's had a lot of trauma needs to feel really safe with a person really feels safe This is why i'm a big proponent of doing social activities hobbies and mutual interests together to build the routes to trust These are routes to trust because when a person trusts you they're going to open up more Does this help? Does this sink in? I hope it does Sarah Sarah toti I screw your name up. So please or your name up. So anyways question It is it often a deliberate conscious act of men to state their online dating status as single instead of separated or divorced I politely ask how long have you been separated or divorced? um Well, first off, I think most dating apps say never married divorced separated Or widower. Okay, so I don't know too many dating apps that say You know dating apps that have single on there because they're asking never married or divorced Separated some some apps say separated or widower. Okay now when someone's divorced or widow or separated It's like right now i'm divorced But I don't I don't wear the badge of divorce Across my forehead. I just happen to be single now after being married. So i'm currently single That's the way I view it. So if someone is so my My facebook profile says single because on facebook profile it either says in relationship married or single So I don't think there's anything wrong with someone doing that now sometimes people feel ashamed Or they feel they're going to be rejected if they're separated or divorced Some people feel that way Especially younger people feel that way You know us millennia or us gen Xers and boomers We don't we don't really care one way or the other But I do believe the the younger generation might feel a little bit of shame Or out being divorced if you're a young person or separated so I can understand the why they hesitate That's my my belief of why that happens. Okay, so it it is deliberate But it's not necessarily intentionally to hurt someone else. Okay Hope I answered your question All right, let's see. What else we have on the board Oh I gotta take a breath for a second. So i'm oh colin. Thank you. I'm happy to hear that's helpful Alisa, thank you so much susan. Thank you so much when uh when men ask Okay, I got to put this one up on here susan says when men ask are your boobs real I asked a woman that are your boobs real and she said yes, they're really my boobs. They just happen to be store-bought I think these you know, it's funny There was this online quiz and it showed 20 different breasts and you had to pick which ones were You know original and which were store-bought, okay And my one of my friends did it and he got 17 out of 20 and I got 20 out of 20 So I pretty much can I I mean maybe I'm an expert. I can spot it, but Um I think it's just a nervous way. Some people ask to connect. I I know it's kind of stupid Um, but I just think it's a nervous way to connect with someone for some guys All right patricia writes Uh question met a guy over a year ago. We got together Shall we say shall we say now we don't hang out as much as we used to what's up?  We got together shall we say now we're hanging out We don't hang out as much so Ladies this is why I'm such a proponent that before the penis ever gets to go inside the vagina That you start being more intentional and ask better questions in the dating process This is why I highly recommend reading the book Eight dates by dr. John and julie gotman eight dates by dr. John and julie gotman um because It's your job to ask better questions Stop being so naive stop sitting in your feminine energy and leaning back because that's all you have to do is Sit in your feminine and lean back because the man is the driver and he's the chivalrous one and he's going to claim you I laugh at that stupidity It's because you've learned every a lot of these feminine energy coaches are teaching you what's in this book called the rules Which is the stupidest book on the planet. This is mind games.  So trisha You should have never went this far with this guy It should have been right up front Asking what does commitment look like for you?  Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know All right Gosh that's exhausting being me Leslie writes What are your thoughts on men that have been separated for years and haven't gotten a divorce or don't seem to have any plans So due to the costs involved My belief is whether it's a man or woman if you're dragging out your divorce. I want no part of it Okay, I want no part of it.  Stop choosing men who are separated find people who have been divorced for at least a minimum of one year now I was dating while I was going through my divorce And I will tell you that a couple things happened Leslie thank you for that i'm going to take this out So I want to share with you a story and this was five months into my divorce or we you know We filed for divorce and I was on a dating site and a woman wrote me. She goes how long you've been divorced I said well, technically I'm not divorced. We're getting divorced. I'm separated and she wrote me back She says reach out to me in 18 to 24 months After you've had one to two transition relationships And I I go, what are you talking about? I'm ready for a relationship. I'm ready for a relationship I'm ready for a relationship. So fast forward four more months I meet this fantastic woman Really a fantastic woman and to this day. This was 15 years ago. We're still connected with one another And she said to me On our second date. She I mean she was really smitten by me and I was smitten by her And it was a great three month relationship and she said to me on our second date She goes, jonah, but first off hold that thought everyone. I have to go walk and go get someone. So don't leave. Don't leave. Don't leave Don't leave So she says jonathan, I have to date you with rose colored glasses. I go, why is that?   I'm ready. I'm ready Sure enough three months into the relationship. I hit my emotional wall and that's as far as I could go and um, and we ended up, you know ending the relationship and we remained You know social friends or or I'll say social acquaintances. I mean mostly on social media And we've interacted a couple times since by the way, she's since got married and um, she moved out of state Why I wanted to get up was this is what she gave me for christmas Is a picture frame of rose colored glasses. Can you see that a picture frame of rose colored glasses?  I had And actually it took me over 10 years to really be in the place where I'm at today now. Why did it take that long? I was a train wreck after my divorce. I had lost my quarter million dollar year job I was doing drugs and alcohol to numb the pain I was lost all my money in the marketplace. I was a wreck and I was didn't even I didn't have any purpose And it wasn't until I became a dating and relationship coach about 10 years ago that things started to shift And then I had to do a deeper dive into personal development. That's why ladies a lot of times when I was dating to numb the pain. That's what a lot of men do they date to numb the pain A lot of women do the same thing. They date to numb the pain and that's what I did Now through this process. I started to buy books. I started to read about Relationships and I know I'm unique compared to most men But I wanted to understand what was going on inside of me And it took me another five years and by the way, I had a great beautiful six year relationship with a woman It didn't work out And when I say beautiful relationship We just weren't we weren't right for each other in the beginning We knew it But we kind of went up against our better judgment And we parted very amicably in fact We had what was known as a conscious uncoupling if you haven't read this book by Catherine woodward thomas the book is called conscious uncoupling in fact my ex-girlfriend and I are on here By the way, there's a picture of Catherine. She's a personal friend of mine She wrote the book calling in the one but page 220 220 There it is Jonathan and sherry The our breakup letter to our community made in a book. So while I'm sharing this with you Is going back to me It took a lot of work a lot of work to be in a place where I was ready Where I'm ready to be in a fully committed relationship. Well, some people will say well, Jonathan Why are you still single? Well Folks, I suffered two big tragedies in the last three years.  There he is right there I lost him six months later This was two and a half years ago And I was in deep pain. I was in deep pain and as much as I wanted Connection with another human being and I wanted a woman to love me and hug me and hold me through this process My journey was to do a deeper dive.  I believe that when we love on ourself, it's a vaccination to emotional chaos and during that next year I did 60 podcasts talking about grief and loss From the perspective as a dating coach and as a person who lost a child And I can tell you that we're all every one of you has suffered loss and pain and suffering We don't have to suffer. In fact, I said at his eulogy. I said When I gave his eulogy, I said I'm not going to suffer. I'm choosing not to grieve with suffering I'm going to grieve with love and this is why I'm such a big proponent of love And this is why I encourage you all to love on yourself because people will human beings will spend more time brushing their teeth Than investing in their emotional maturity Let me repeat that human beings have spent more time brushing their teeth in their lifetime Than they have working on their emotional maturity. And that's why I'm such a big proponent This is why by the way, I've had some ladies complain about the books. I'm suggesting.  So that's my invitation for everyone. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Let me know All right, whoo I went on a rant there Well, let's read this backwards Tina says Jonathan, I'm so sorry to hear that Jonathan You might like my podcast that talks about grief and the pain would love to be on a guess I'd be honored to email me at ja at understand men now or go to my website jonathanasley.com. I would be honored tina um Rebecca says gotta deal with that emotional gotta deal with that baggage. Yes, we do gotta deal with that baggage Um Someone says those guys are the ones who have the most baggage by the way Lisa Men and women equally have baggage luggage whatever you want to call it It is we have to stop the narrative that men are bad And that women are better from the woman's perspective and men have to stop being so critical of women because this is an Equal issue emotional maturity By the way ladies so many of you think you're emotionally mature I swear to god It cracks me up How many believe that they are and the minute I ask a half a dozen questions in my coaching program I realize some are either in victim consciousness or they're in righteous consciousness And that is not a emotional maturity is that space in between where you can be authentic transparent and vulnerable To be an actual grown-up going back to How to be a grown-up in relationship how to be an adult So men and women alike at least from my perspective lisa. All right All right Joy says I see in dating profiles all the time for me. It's a turn off. Okay. I didn't see what you wrote uh, rebecca writes Oh, sorry I'm doing personal development school and therapy at the moment. Oof no room in there for dating Well, I believe in putting yourself out there because you never know what can happen So I hope you do at some point make some room for dating. Hey kelly writes Jonathan can I ask you please?  I don't let me read this again. Can you please can I ask I was I was with a guy for quite a few months He seemed great. Wait. He seemed He seemed great spent time with me a lot met his friends then cut off three feet of my hair I don't get the three. So if I'm assuming if you said you cut off three feet of your hair and then he cut you off I don't understand what's going on but Something turned him off and he ran the other way probably he wasn't ready for a mature relationship is my guess Thank you kelly How do you know when the inner child is out men and women? Okay, how do you know when the inner child is out? When you're needy When you need someone else when you need validation from someone else That's the little kid coming out when you act in title That's when the little kind of comes out or when you act like a victim That's when a little kid comes out the space in between Is not being in victim consciousness or not being righteous or entitled Okay, and being needy Insecure, that's what little kids do. That's not how a grown-up shows up in relationship. Alyssa. I hope that answers your question All right Let's scroll Bear with me. I'm doing my best Women's rights was a mistake. I spent 5 000 on picked artist camp yet to be rejected because of my bad looks should have paid the surgery Okay Thank you I dated two guys going through divorces and was supportive But it was awful ending badly both times lesson Learn my lesson that men need to take responsibility and not date when they're not ready I want to address this I would agree men and women alike Shouldn't date when they're not ready just like when I thought I was ready to my to my friend Diana Who said I dating you with rose color glasses. She knew I wasn't ready. I thought I was ready That's because humans lie to themselves Humans lie to themselves. It is a very here Colleen What does this shirt say human kind? It is a very human experience to lie to yourself Humans lie to themselves all the time men lie to them Men lie to themselves all the time women lie to themselves all the time and the problem is they bring people into their shift This is part of the journey everybody Get used to it. This is why if you really want to shift your narrative by this book And by maryanne williamson's book because when you learn that it's a human thing to be fucked up We judge less We judge less because the reality is as most humans are doing the best they can in fact If you're not familiar with the work of Allison armstrong, please check out the book the queens code the queens code She's all about telling encouraging women in particular To understand that most men are good guys They don't in most men are not trying to intentionally deceive you Just like most women aren't trying to intentionally deceive men. The problem is they're lying to themselves That's the real issue and this is the difference between emotional maturity and People with emotional weak emotional skills So this is why if you want help vetting for emotional maturity Check out the link to a free discovery call and if you can't afford coaching check out the link Below to my group called midlife love mastery where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis through a private facebook group and a once a month webinar All right, we're probably going to wrap up Get healthy with lauren Why do guys talk non-stop about themselves when you first meet? Is it nervousness or lack of self-awareness the answer is yes To both it could either be worth nervousness or a lack of self-awareness the reality is lauren Is that humans are bad most humans are bad at learning or actually learning how to get to know another human being This is why I studied all this stuff so I can teach every one of you how to get better at this process So yes, sometimes it's nervousness. Sometimes it's lack awareness This is why when you learn how to ask better questions you get better results All right Why do short guys message me when i'm looking for someone taller?  These are women five foot two. I need to be with the guy's six foot tall I need to be with the guy's six foot tall and then they marry a guy five foot six Here's the thing It's by the way, and why do unattractive women email attractive man. I mean I could make the same argument Okay, let's stop judging what people do And just appreciate the effort if you want to come from a place of love Then just say thank you for making the effort by the way ladies I swipe all day long from women When I see someone I'm not interested or attracted to I always in my heart say I'm sending you love I'm sending you love. I'm sending you love. I'm sending you love I believe the more we focus on the l word the l word of love We're going to get better results than focusing on the judgment or what someone does wrong. That's my belief susan I hope it helps, but let's not focus on why they're doing it How about we just are appreciated that someone made the effort and then we move on because it's the judgment that gets in the way The judgment gets in our way Ah, wow, we covered a lot today all right I'm gonna scroll one more time. I think this would be a good place to wrap up for today I've had a lot of fun with you all I want to thank you so much for the opportunity to share the five stupid questions women ask men Let's cover them real quickly. Have you noticed anything different about me? Does this dress make me look bad? What's you thinking? Do you think that woman is prettier than me and the last one? Hey, honey, what's wrong? Men will tell you when something's wrong. I hope you found value in this video today I'd be honored if you share with friends If you need some love and support do me a favor check out the links below to a free discovery call to my membership Group called midlife love mastery to my book.  What the heck is self love anyway my podcast the what would love do podcast and certainly all the recommended books I hope you found value in this And if you have again, please share it with your friends Um, and last but not least it's the weekend If you got this far, I hope you have a fantastic weekend I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear or a pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it We could all use more love in our lives and don't forget be human kind be both I want to wish you a super duper wonderful day. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye now Oh, I'm gonna say I'm gonna say bye to claire kelly joy. Jessica melissa kira Uh, rebecca woman's rights. Uh joy lisa danielle. I guess dug didn't show up today Liz rebecca joy. Thank you so much. Have fun.


In 8A Red Lake, taking on Steven Argyle and the 8A championship, the Warriors press was deadly early. Here's the steal on a three-pointer for Angel McClain. That puts them up 10-4. Later in the first half, another steal and another quick bucket as Jerica Kingbird puts the Warriors up 18-6. Later at Colonna McClain, the assist outside to LaShawn Roy. That puts them up 10. Warriors run fire in the first half. Adam Holfi isn't the three of her own. Red Lake pulls off the upset. They beat Steven Argyle in the championship game.


This is classic embedded confession, almost everything he says is an embedded confession. The last thing she said when she came downstairs. The last thing she said is, you'll hear from my lawyer. And then he describes what she did after that, after they went to bed. Number two, number one, who keeps their coat upstairs? And they're in Wisconsin. She comes down with a coat on. Nobody comes downstairs with their coat on.  You do whatever. He says there was no scuffle. And there was no scuffle. Now let's just know there was a scuffle. There was a problem there. Why would he even bring that up? Why would he even say that? Then he says, Out of the corner of my eye, I see her car keys. So I grab them. You kidding me. Then he realizes what he's done. And then he says, at the end there, I didn't know she had an extra pair of keys. They said he keys my car really, really fast. She had extra key for my car. I didn't know it. These are all classic embedded confessions. This should be studied, I think, because it's so classic.


Aaron in the sixth inning the Bogarks fly ball to let feel what you make of and do har obviously is an experience out there But right his route to it and the result. Yeah, I haven't I haven't seen a replay of it yet You know when I first saw it I was just kind of tracking the ball and you know Hoping it wasn't getting out of the ballpark and then I didn't see how close he got to the fence So I haven't even seen You know a replay of it, you know to make a real good judgment on it for you You like that the two at bats that you know would be thought about afterwards Devers against Tyone in the sixth and then Hernandez against Green when you think back to to those at bats and then the pitches they got beat on what stands out to you J mode got back in the count and and obviously, you know pitching pitching a little carefully there and want to just Go force him up at the top of the zone or even above the zone and see if he'll we can get him to expand there Look like he pulled the ball a little bit and got it more down and and on the inner half for the base hit And then you know Hernandez did a good job of probably selling out high-heater And got to it, you know, I thought Greeny struggled a little bit with the you know with the feel of his breaking ball And I think you know Hernandez, you know after getting blown away a little bit by it I think just with two strikes there completely sold out and you know Got on one about letter high and and you know put a good swing on it Can David off please unmute And as these losses pile up, but how much are you concerned about it? You know a snowball effect that guy's getting Disparative Not worried about that You know, I know the guys in that room and we believe we're too good Know that we're obviously going through a tough stretch Know that this is part of it and you know We're taking our lumps right now We got a we got an opportunity to turn it around and at least salvage a series tomorrow And that's what our focus and how we'll look at it is Mark and oh go ahead Kenny. No, it's okay. I said, thank you. Okay, Mark. Can is our please unmute Thanks, Aaron. Can you speak a little bit about about Stanton and his struggle since he's gotten back from the From the injured list and I mean obviously he's streaky anyway, but it seems like he's been really struggling Yeah, just you know struggling to get kind of locked in up there I thought last night he had some good at bats hit a ball hard to third got the base hit that he smoked to left and Worked the walk, but you know, he's he's kind of searching to find it and hopefully as he gets more consistent Reps here. He'll lock it in just as a quick follow I mean, it seems like statistically as he goes your it ignites your offense a little bit, you know numbers wise Obviously, you're aware of that with the numbers there is You know, what can that do if he if he can kind of get himself right, you know and get your maybe what does that do to your offense?  So when he's going and obviously, you know brings an on base element Obviously tremendous power, you know, that's you know, he's a run producer there. So we know that you know We get him going You know, that's that's a big cog in this lineup Go next to Brendan Cuddy It's not often that you guys are At your home field that as you guys leave What would you say it's a fan to be getting a little impatient or concerned as You're talking about turning the page and this team doesn't seem to be turning around Well, they care I mean that's that's you know One of the things you love about playing here and loving our fan base is how much they care and are invested and and want it So, I mean, I wouldn't say anything other than that's that's a result of a fan base that it matters to and There's you know a group of guys in there that it really matters to but we have a job to do of going to perform So it's important that we continue to grind this thing out We know there's going to be lumps along the way, but we also know we have a club capable of digging our way out Zach Braziller, please unmute you guys are 14 and 21 against The ALD is how much of a problem is that you know, you look at that's a pretty large sample of beams Yeah, it's not good And then if we're going to be the club where we expect to be we need to improve that and and turn that around


My name is Jeff Dyer, I'm the Emergency Medical Services Program Chair at the National Fire Academy. Join me for the next few minutes in reviewing the Incident Command System and its application at emergency medical services scenes. Let's talk first about the history of the Incident Command System. ICS began as a result of the disastrous fires in Southern California in the fall of 1970. Almost 600,000 acres burned in 13 days, destroying 772 structures and killing 16 people. There were over 100 fire agencies involved along with dozens of law enforcement departments, health services, and many others. During the course of the 13 days, a lot of excellent work was done by all, but a lot of things went wrong as well. In a post-disaster analysis, the fire services involved identified the root causes of the most serious problems. They are the lack of a common organizational structure. The result was a severe loss of effectiveness simply because in many cases, assisting forces did not understand what was happening. Lack of coordinated and co-located planning. As a result, multiple uncoordinated planning and direction occurred. In some cases, two or more agencies staffing the same ground and drastic omissions in other cases. Large areas of unattended fire assumed to be covered by the other guy. Fire ground and inter-agency communications was practically non-existent. Most radio traffic was confined to units within the same agency and any information flow between agencies was limited to verbal or written messages. Sometimes delivered, sometimes not. Existing agency frequencies were overloaded because of all traffic, command logistical and tactical, was being transmitted more or less simultaneously. Lack of valid timely information. This lack was related to the uncoordinated planning but also resulted from traditional neglect of fast, accurate intelligence and planning procedures. As a result of these major wildland fires, Southern California Municipal, County, State and Federal Fire Authorities form an organization known as Firefighting Resources of California Organized for Potential Emergencies or Firescope. Firescope's efforts to address these difficulties resulted in the development of the original incident command system for effective incident management. Although originally developed for wildland settings, the system ultimately evolved into an all-risk system, appropriate for all types of fire and non-fire emergencies. What is the incident command system? There are many systems that are in use throughout the nation for the direction and control of resources and emergency events. The one method, the incident command system, developed by Firescope and adopted by the National Fire Academy has been recognized as the model tool for the command, control and coordination of resources and personnel at the scene of an emergency. The incident command system is based upon basic business management principles. In a business or government environment, managers and leaders perform the basic daily tasks of planning, directing, coordinating, communicating, delegating and evaluating. The same is true for an incident command system when dealing with evolving emergency situations. These tasks or functional areas are performed under the overall direction of the incident commander. A business organization under crisis conditions as resources arrive, an incident command system is a management tool consisting of procedures for organizing personnel, facilities, equipment and communications at the scene of an emergency. Many people who have not studied an incident command system in detail hold a variety of erroneous perceptions on what the system means to them and their agencies. These perceptions may prevent this valuable tool from being fully implemented in a number of communities. To set the record straight, an incident command system is not a way to subvert the normal chain of command within a department or agency. It is not too big and cumbersome to be used in small everyday events such as motor vehicle accidents, multi-agency responses, simple extrication events, as well as many other everyday emergency response events. I would now like to introduce Captain Don Lee. Captain Lee is in charge of EMS training for the city of Los Angeles and is a recognized national expert in the use of the incident command system for emergency medical services. The incident command system has many advantages that address common problems on the emergency incident site. It may be used in a variety of emergency events, including but not limited to fires, mass casualty incidents, hazard specter emergencies, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, and also non-forcement emergencies. The incident command system has a flexible design. It may be adapted and utilized in a variety of organizational structures, including single jurisdiction, single agency involvement, single jurisdiction with multi-agency involvement, multi-jurisdiction, multi-agency involvement. The incident command system is simple yet effective and causes little disruption to existing systems. When we made the transition to using the incident command system for EMS, we found that it was just a matter of formalizing what we're already doing. One of the biggest concerns in going to an incident command system for EMS was from the potential for losing control. The experience tells us there are very few pure EMS incidents. In fact, most incidents include multiple agencies, such as EMS, Fire, and Police. Even at a two-patient traffic accident, EMS, Fire, and Police units all have a role. Every response, no matter how large or small, is an ICS event. The incident command system has several key elements. The use of common terminology is essential to the effective operation of the incident command system. Common names are established and used for all personnel and resources.  The incident command system is organized in a modular format. This approach to organizational structure is used for any modules that are organized in a functional basis with five primary functional areas, which we will discuss later. The next key element is integrated communications. This includes communications procedures and protocols, frequency allocations, and the procedures to receive, record, and acknowledge incoming and outgoing communications of any form. The incident command system stresses the use of plain language in all communications. Spent of control is an essential component of the incident command system. This is defined as the number of subordinates one supervisor can effectively manage. End post is a location where all incident operations are directed. The command post may consist of a vehicle designed as a command post, a building, a truck, a squad car, or other vehicle that is identified and known to all participants as the command post. The concept of unified command is employed in multi-agency operations. Unified command is a shared responsibility for the overall management of an incident as a result of multi-jurisdictional or multi-agency operations. Incident commanders are selected on the basis of who has the primary authority for the overall control of the emergency event. In a unified command structure, there will still be one person in charge of the overall event. The incident commander, all involved agencies, will contribute to the command process under the general direction and coordination of the incident commander. The initial incident command system must start with the first responder on scene. The command process may be transferred to higher ranking individuals as more resources arrive on scene. As an example, in an everyday situation when two cars collide and a citizen dials 911, they have assumed incident command for responsibilities. Their role as incident commander transfers to the first arriving unit, whether it be EMS, fire, or police. Every incident commander has certain functions they should include in their role as the incident commander. Assume an announced command and establish an effective operating position, which will be known as the command post. Rapidly evaluate the situation and conduct a size-up. Initiate, maintain, and control the communications process. Identify the overall strategy. Develop an incident action plan. Assign companies and personnel consistent with plans and standing operating procedures. Develop an effective incident management organization. Provide tactical objectives. Review, evaluate, and revise the incident action plan as needed. Provide for the continuity, transfer, and termination of command. As more resources arrive on the scene and the incident continues to escalate, the incident commander builds the command organization by dividing the incident needs and establishing divisions, groups, and sectors. The incident commander's focus should be on the strategic issues, overall strategic planning, and other components of the incident. His focus is to look at the big picture and the impact of the incident from a very broad perspective. The incident commander should provide direction, advice, and guidance to the general staff in directing the tactical aspects of the incident. As previously mentioned, there are five key functional areas in an incident command system. Each function will be present when implementing an ICS, but expanded to differing degrees depending on the size and nature of the incident. In small incidents, the incident commander functions in multiple roles. Some of the roles include operations, planning, and finance and administration. In larger events, like a high-rise fire, these functions are assigned to a command staff. One of the major benefits of the incident command system is its all-risk application to any emergency situation. Many of the principles discussed also apply to mass casualty management. Virtually all medical incidents require the patients to be extricated, triaged, traded, and transported. The incident command system provides many benefits for the incident commander, such as, organizes, controls, and coordinates rescuers towards a common goal. Similar functions are grouped and responsibilities are identified and defined, centralized decision-making but decentralizing tasks and objectives. Lines of authority are established, provides a means to communicate and process information for decision-making, provides predictability of actions and organization design and development, provides for efficient operations. ICS for EMS in very simple terms can be summed up by remembering three Cs and three Ts. The three Cs represent command, control, and communications. Now the three Ts represent triage, treatment, and transportation. A good incident commander uses the three Cs to ensure that the three Ts are efficiently completed. Incident command system for EMS is the effective tool for managing any EMS incident, regardless of the cause, size, or agencies involved. There are 12 victims that are listed in critical conditions, 11 in fair conditions, and 20 were able to walk away from the record. The halfway road is the private road, and the northern end of Pomp's Crane is thought within the jurisdiction of the Pomp's Crane Police Department. The road is the route to the popular Pomp's Crane aerial family, which was a girl's house which we're visiting as part of a two-week California tour. Pomp's Crane police first is counted to the same and determined that all components of the emergency medical services in the area would need to be activated. All the calls were made to the three local hospitals, and the triage team was sent to the same district in the initial treatment of the girl. Numerous ambulancees were used to transport the injured, as well as helicopters. At one point, a new helicopter was tested, recorded, and assisted in transporting injured scouts. The rescue efforts was a combined effort of many different agencies and emergency personnel. It was carried out in a very professional, efficient manner.   I thought you were working with a lot of the kids that were coming out and they were being transported away. Obviously, you were saying you were very emotional, but you had to seem like you were giving them a lot of support. Yeah, I was thinking if any of them knew who I was, or if I could just spark them at all, or make them feel okay, and just talk to them. How was some of them doing? They were just scared. They're all so scared. They don't know how bad they're hurt. They're afraid of the choppers. They just need some comfort right now. They're just frightened children. Did anything happen? I didn't ask them. I just wanted as much as I could determine if they were okay, and then I would tell them they would be okay, and that they're okay. That's all they wanted to hear is that they're going to be okay. Are they okay? Ask for their friends, obviously, and I would just say, yeah, they're okay. They've got nothing to do with the talking about. No, they're not going to be okay. No, we've got some under there under the bus. Who are you going to follow up with? I don't need to follow up. Yeah, I'll be there. I told them I would be there. I don't want to see the parents. I just can't imagine how somebody can know that we care. Do you think we're together? Everybody? If there wasn't such a disaster, I would say it was wonderful to see how everybody, you know, it's so great to see everybody get rid of the little petty stuff and just go for the survival of others. I don't want to negotiate the terms went off. As of right now, we have six confirmed fatalities, of which one we believe to be the bus driver, and the other five appear to be scouts from the group. They're being transported now by three helicopters to all three local hospitals. We have people here from the county and city and state high of control. We have a team of doctors and nurses that initially see who is the most critical to get those on board first. What is going to be the course of action from here on out for the rest of the evening? This road will remain closed. We're going to try to get the people down from the top of the tram as soon as we get the ambulances out of the way. It'll be closed for many hours. The team is investigating it now, trying to find out what exactly caused it. They're talking to witnesses that may have seen it or have come right under scene afterwards. I try to piece together what caused this. Everybody just came together and everybody did everything they had to do. So that's not a concern. I think what the city can do now is let them know that we're there. I saw the location here and saw the yellow bus sitting down in the ravine over here. That was before anybody else got here. I slowed down, pulled over to the side, saw how much damage was involved, figured that the best thing I could do at that point in time is get back to the valley station and call 911 and that's what I did. And by the time I got back down here with medical supplies and oxygen, everybody else was already here. This was a heck of a response by the city of Palm Springs. One of the leaders said, Christ yourself, I'm having a break. We might crash. Later on, and then I called up, and then I came out and helped me out a little bit. And then I came out and added everything that later on, my body was in shock. And so I had to go to the hospital. So when I got out of the bus, came down, and they were all very calm. They were giving everything they had to matter. This is an initial report. Spring's ambulance, paramedic. I pulled up, I made an assessment of a number of people in the bus. It was stable on some rocks. As you're moving around the valley, there was no fuel leak. The bus was diesel. There was no fire hazard in the media. To my dispatch. They initiated a second alarm. They basically called up all our off-duty personnel. All around Mutual Aid Engines from Riverside County in Kippu City, which was easily blocked at both ends. The scene itself was small. Yet, in spite of the fact that there were three different agencies running different aspects of the rescue, two of them receiving Mutual Aid from surrounding communities, there was no attempt at a unified command. ICS, such as an indie really never unfolded. There was no post-setup. I basically got on scene and started making a triage assessment and assigned people as they arrived on scene to different tasks. Setting up a formal command for the month. The structure should have been established initially.  But for Mutual Aid responders, it may have been a different story. Police Captain Boswell says a command post would have helped them get oriented. Soon after help began to arrive, the narrow tramway road became clogged with traffic. Too many vehicles right now. The lack of a unified command structure also caused problems with communications, both on the ground and... We need different agencies here, all on different radio frequencies. And had we established a regular command post, we probably would have solved some of the problems with communication. But because of the tightness trash scene, I don't think that was a major problem. We had a weak operation with communications to our aircraft and the communications between all the fire units and police and ambulance people. The fire units were all on the same frequency, but we didn't have any established radio communication with police or ambulance. Although the scene commanders differ on whether they need an integrated command system, I'll agree. If they had it to do over again, they'd work more closely together. Well, in review, I think we would probably establish an obvious unified agency's rep. Could get together and coordinate the activities, and I think that would probably eliminate some of the requests for duplicate service and duplicate people. One of the big slices learned was that the ICS system needs to be flexible as far as what it's dealing with. And strictly medical institute needs to be able to shift the command to the appropriate... In spite of the fact that there was no integrated command system, the incident was handled with virtually no lapse in the care or transport of the injured. Even though police, fire, and EMS operated as separate entities, they worked together without conflict. The scene went extremely well. There was a lot of cooperation between the agencies I was seeing. Nobody got involved. Police were carrying backboards. The mayor came down and helped carry backboards. Fire department personnel were assisting in packing the patients and carrying them up the hill. We had to use some of the girl scouts that went on injured from the other bus as far as helping to get the girl's package. We had an out-of-state registered nurse on scene that we utilized for ALS procedures. On the incoming airships, we utilized their personnel. When I arrived on scene and established the command of the fiery units, I did the incident into the two divisions. The remote division was location and triage of the victims. And the other division was stabilization and backboard. As helicopters began to arrive, as fire, medical, and police personnel crowded into the narrow canyon full of school bus wreckage, Mike Allison was hard at work doing triage. Incredibly, it lasted only six minutes. I used what's called a start system and simply triage and rapid transport. It means that you really don't do a whole lot on scene except to stabilize the patients as far as their airway and control in which they're bleeding. You practice a patient and you get them to an appropriate facility, which is basically what we did. We assigned a couple of people, start IVs in patients as many as they could. At the same time, as they were being packaged by the other agencies there, they must seem very quickly to counter 30 minutes to transport 53 patients from scene. There were accelerations, abrasions, long bone fractures, thoracic injuries, abdominal injuries. Initial triage figures showed 13 critically injured, 20. The triage worked so well that the doctors complimented the EMS people because all of the injured were received in the hospitals in their proper order. That means that the minor injuries didn't beat the critically injured. The injured were rushed to three different hospitals. Desert Hospital was only a minute away from the incident site by helicopter, seven to eight minutes away by ambulance. There again, luck was a factor. The hospital put its disaster plan into effect during shift change. Desert State, they would be able to take as many patients as we needed to send them. The hospital's disaster plan had a wealth of results of shift change. The most critically injured were flown or driven to Desert Hospital, the area's only trauma center. Those with moderate or slight injuries were taken to either Eisenhower Medical Center or John F. Kennedy Hospital in Indio, 35 miles away. With only 11 ALS units available and four helicopters, emergency crews used police cars and taxi cabs to transport some of the lesser injuries. Perhaps the hardest part was hitting the injured from the crash site to the road above. The bus was about 30 to 40 feet, but the terrain is extremely rocky, and the victims were, it was difficult. It was obviously difficult footing carrying over large boulders and rocks. While Boswell and his counterparts felt they had control of the situation on the ground, they were all worried about the congestion developing in the air above them. As far as the landing zone, the road was used as a landing zone. The landing zone is a two-lane road, which is fairly narrow. On one side of the road is power lines, and on the other side is rocky terrain. So it was a little tight getting the helicopters in. We had a lot of help from different agencies assess the evaluation. The scene from the air landed and began experiments with their... And as four rescue helicopter pilots jockeyed their ships into that narrow canyon, five more helicopters carrying television crews orbited above. Once we were on scene, I instituted through the Palm Springs Tower an airspace limitation to keep all non-essential helicopters and air traffic out of the area. But there was an apparent difference of opinion over which aircraft were non-essential. Rescuers on the ground didn't think the media choppers needed to be so close to the scene. The noise created by those aircraft made communications on the ground very difficult. In fact, scene commanders do restricting the airspace above them. Federal aviation regulation 91.137A outlines a procedure where you, as scene commander, can contact the FAA for help. The regulation can be put into effect to prevent an unsafe congestion of sightseeing and other aircraft above an incident. There are some important exceptions, however. Notably, an aircraft carrying incident or event personnel, law enforcement, or accredited news media can be allowed over the site. So why bother? Because the pilots of these aircraft must file a flight plan with the proper authorities. Their presence is at the discretion of the FAA with input from the on-scene commander. The aerial umbrella over your scene can be as big as you want it to be. To institute airspace restrictions over your scene, you should act early. Contact the nearest control tower or air traffic control center. Have the following information ready. Your name and agency. Your exact location. If possible, include the exact latitude and longitude of the area you want restricted. The nature of your incident. The size of the area you propose to restrict, both in terms of radius around the incident site and the altitude above your site. And if you have any idea, the amount of time you'd like the restriction enforced. Remember to contact with the same authorities again when the restriction can be lifted. You may not get everything you asked for, so you must be specific in your request. As for the establishment of an integrated command structure, Fire Chief McLean, Police Captain Boswell and Spring's Ambulance Supervisor Jerry Hart, all suggest that you get to know how each cooperating agency works. Practice with the agencies in your area. Agree on a single set of terms to be used in a unified command structure. Agree on who should do what, depending on the emergency. Commanders should plan to work together at a common command post. Face to face if possible. Supervisors should wear vests, hats, or bibs to be easily identifiable to all responders. Agree on common radio frequencies. This should include frequencies for communicating with personnel on the ground and in the air. In Palm Springs, rescuers admit they had no integrated command system. But they did have experience. They had good will and a good measure of luck. Rescue 23 responding. Additional ALS at four additional rescues. Yeah, Rescue 3, Rescue 5, Rescue 11, Rescue 29. Channel 8, balance of the first law of medical. 7th Street and Broadway. Engine 2, Engine 8, Rescue 16, Rescue 3, Rescue 5, Rescue 11, Rescue 29.


Moving on now, over 900 women and a youth of Brassa, then by federal constituency in Bios' state have benefited from the empowerment scheme of the representative of the National Assembly, Honourable Israel Soni Goli. At an event held in Yanagwa, the sum of 100,000 nair was given to 400 persons, while over 500 artists received motorbikes. Our correspondent Jesse S.A. reports that the move was part of efforts, but the federal will make it to boost road transportation in his area, as well as businesses. Here, 576 motorbikes acquired by Honourable Israel Soni Goli waiting to be distributed to members of Brassa Nambi federal constituency. This is not the first time, and as heartwarming as it seems, this is not a constituency project, but a token of appreciation to his people for the mandates to represent them in the House of Representatives in 2019. Political and traditional rulers from Bios' East joined by other eminent personalities gather to celebrate this gesture. And this is the third time, and here again, the number of bikes, number of mini-balls, and other gift items are so numerous else. This is quite wonderful. The beneficiaries are full of gratitude to the lawmaker. He's always a friendly, youth-friendly man, empowering youth and women, not even this one, other things that he has been doing, market women, and even enhancing the productivity of fishermen and women. We have lost in this kind of thing before, that we thank God for Honourable Israel Soni Goli giving us this great gift. It's been a very long time I've been playing politics, I've lost in this, so I'm grateful to Honourable Israel Soni Goli. For Soni Goli, this is just another way of saying thank you to them. I say it as fulfilling my obligation to them. You know, I went into a contract in 2019 for them to vote for me and then for me to also reach out to them in return. So this is just one of my promises to them. So I feel very happy that they appreciate what I'm doing, but together, we can build a better Nimbi Brass for their constituency. But 40 mini-bosses are also set to be distributed to its constituents in the coming week. There is also provision for free transportation of the motorbikes to Nimbi and Brass local government areas from Yanagwa. Just CSA for Plus TV Africa. Hello. Hope you enjoyed the news. Please do subscribe to our YouTube channel and don't forget to hit the notification button so you get notified about fresh news updates.


Yesterday I got back my NIPT results for pregnancy and for those of you who are aware in those test results you can see the sex of your baby and so I'm not gonna lie I looked so I have actually known for the past 24 hours so I thought it would be fun to surprise him with the results and to get him to not suspect anything I've come up with the perfect decoy so I told him that my manager Adam was that Adam you're part of my decoy that Adam said you know your views have been slipping of late you have to really pick up something with high engagement do something that's gonna really engage with your audience so go through your old catalog see what's worked in the past and try to repeat that so I told Jerry that Adam said that and Adam was like you should probably do that make out video that you did again but this time with your husband for those of you who watch channel you know how Jerry feels about making out why do we need to make out that's like a great activity it's not a great I personally love it so it's kind of like a two-in-one win for me so yeah this is a sexy sex review maybe it'll be a new trend this video is brought to you by Squarespace whatever you need from websites to online stores to marketing tools like newsletters Squarespace has you covered choose from tons of templates to make your web presence stunning and make it fast last month sham ran a contest and gave someone Squarespace for an entire year since then life coach lene built tlanes.com now it's your turn to power your next big idea with an all-in-one platform if you haven't done so go check out Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com slash Shamboody to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain you're only staying there because your anti-makeout all the time you just have to understand Jay this is what YouTube is so I have a video on YouTube that is one of my top performing videos still gets tons of comments and it's only wise to do an update with the person that I love and I love making out with more than anybody else in the entire universe and if you think about what making out is it's kind of strange you're putting your tongue with your saliva into my mouth as well and I'm putting my saliva into your mouth you know we're actually doing though what we're bonding yeah we are bonding and we're learning more about each other it's learning about your genetic makeup yes learning about your sense yes learning about our flow yes there's so much it's like information that gets passed through you have to look at it like when we're making out pictures floating in outer space no I get only two people I'm there's a time and place for making out see you make these brush statements that I don't like making out much I do like making out the time I like to make out is like when we're not on camera for one and then for two when it's probably like settled down time what is settled down timing I don't want it to seem like I'm forcing you to do this are you a willing participant like yeah I wouldn't be sitting here I mean willing is a weird word I wouldn't say that that's the arbiter word but I'm here and I'm sitting here well I'm not gonna go on camera and look like a bad kids room obviously gonna try but but it's just just just know it's not my choice if I was gonna do this it's gonna go up on only fans so I can get paid for it all right enough chats time to start using those lips for real good you know what I'm showing yes talking about making out okay let's do it ready what else am I gonna learn about this you're going to learn how much you love to kiss your wife promise you you're not gonna hate this just trust me okay you're not gonna hate this okay it was done purposefully though Jay because it's like you say about the Frank Ocean songs it's a confusion that leads to the release of peace so I think that your reaction was better because you were stressed out by the dislike first so it was like it was a well now that we know it's a girl and then it's healthy what should we name it all names all names hey what's going on everyone I am popping up again just to remind you that this video is sponsored by Squarespace now if you haven't done so go over to Squarespace.com go play around go have fun go build a website feel the reigns of what this website can do for you and when you're ready to launch go over to Squarespace.com slash Shambudi to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain