Craft presents the Great Gildersleeve. Hee hee hee hee. The craft cheese company who also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night presents each week at this time. Harold Terry is the Great Gildersleeve, written by Leonard L. Levinson. Now to visit our friend, the Great Gildersleeve, who is alternately looking at his watch, which says 315, and of the large mysterious package which says deliver to Leroy Forrester, Esquire. Yep, isn't Leroy ever going to get home from school, my dear?  You shouldn't be so curious. I'm not in the least bit curious. I was just wondering what was inside. I think it contains magazines that says Leroy Forrester. Esquire. No, Bertie. By the way, where is it from? Some place called Frazier. No, no, the name on the other side.  Use no hooks, Colorado, yes. The name of the firm, Bertie, turn it over. Oh, yes, the Metropolis Merchandise Company. Well, this has me worried. Let me look at it once more, Bertie. Here, too, Miss Quilsey. Thank you. Oh, Janet, it almost blew open. But not quite. Don't lift it by the string, Uncle. It'll break. Oh, yes, so it will. I mean, I'll try to be more careful, my dear. Now, let me examine it. If you examine that box any more stringently, it's going to fall apart. Yes, I hope so.  Well, this has gone on long enough. Bring me the scissors, please, Bertie. The scissors? Uncle, I don't think you should open Leroy's mail. Who's opening Leroy's mail?  Oh, it sounds like Leroy now. It can't be. He shut the door after himself. Oh, Bertie, I'm hungry. That's Leroy, all right. Was there any mail for me? Yeah, here it is. Gee, I can hardly wait. Good afternoon, Uncle Mort. Where is... Hi, I'm Orange.  Hello, Bertie. Anybody got a pair of scissors? Thanks, Uncle. Oh, gee, at last. It's by its garden seeds. Yeah, 300 packages of them. That's a good deal, Leroy. Sure. All I have to do is sell them a 10-cent a package and send back the $30. That's not such a good deal after all. What do you get out of it, young man? Oh, I'm not going to tell you now. I'm going to wait until I finish selling the whole slew and surprise you. Well, if you sell that many seeds, it's so full of surprise meat. Oh, don't worry. I've got three sure-fire customers to begin with. Is that so? Who are they, my boy? Hello, Marge and Bertie. Yes, they are. All right, step right up. Oh, catch a nice fresh seed. Which kind do you want, Bertie? Well, let me see. Oh, you got flowers these two? You're saying petunias, hollyhocks, cucumbers, onions? Yes. Yeah, and sweet Williams? Oh, that's what I'll have. There's a boy now named William Hart, sweet old. Okay, that'll be a dime, Bertie. How about you, Marge? You ought to take something to remind you of that incident in the 80s. You want any beans? No, Leroy. I'll remember him without beans. I'll take those, forget me now. Here's my dime, Leroy. I've taken some Kohlrabi seeds. Kohlrabi? What's that? Kohlrabi, Leroy, is Cabbies trying to be cauliflower. Would you think 300 packages are too many for you to try to sell? Oh, no, sis. I am going to cover every backyard in town. And look how well I've done so far. In the first five minutes, I've already three down and only 297 yards to go.  Yeah, but a package of seeds is a lot cheaper than a bouquet. No, I'm sorry, I can't trust you. Now, in the instructions, the company says they trust me, but I'm not supposed to trust anybody else. Well, at least think it over, will you? Okay, goodbye. By the way, Leroy, it's just a week since those seeds arrived. How many have you got left? 263. No, Leroy, I don't mean the number of seeds. I mean the number of packages.  Yes. Business would have been a lot better, only half the kid in town would sell them seeds. Oh, well, it's the best salesman who went out. Cielc, you used to be a super salesman, didn't you? Well, yes. And I started selling the Gilder Sleeve girdle. I developed some pretty snappy freaks, my boy. But the principal thing to remember is politeness. Bear in mind that a polite approach will always get a polite response. Now, who's at that door? How do you do, sir? I hope I'm not intruding. You are. What do you want? Well, I represent the Big Gem Encyclopedia Corporation of East St. Louis, Illinois. No, scram. But you haven't... Beat it. But you haven't even heard what I had to say. I don't want any. Goodbye. Remember, Leroy, a polite approach will always get a polite response. Always remember that.  A buck. Okay, a buck, then. Yes, let's not bet. However, I wager I could do such a good job selling your vegetable seeds that you could come along ten minutes later and sell the same people corned beef to go with the cabbages they'd expect to raise. It's too bad you still can't do it, Uncle Moore. Yeah, who says I can't? Could you? Why, of course. Oh, gee, that's swell. Uncle Moore is going to show me how to sell the rest of my seeds. Now, hold on a minute. I didn't say that.  Oh, great jumping jeeps. I've been taken in again. The important thing is to start talking first and don't stop until your customer says yes. Understand? Yes. All right, now watch me. Oh, Mrs. Dobson. Good morning, because Mommy isn't home right now. She's downtown getting some burned-out electric bulbs in case you have another blackout soon. Yes, sir. Well, excuse me for cutting in, Dottie, but I'm helping Leroy sell these wonderful garden seeds and I thought maybe you folks would like to buy some. Oh, garden seeds? Well, I don't know whether we're going to plant a garden or not. This year on a kind of I tried one in 1941, but he didn't have a bit of luck. You didn't? What did you plant? Peanuts. I planted a whole bag of them, but nothing came up. Well, do you think that's all, Captain, from growing Mr. Gildersleeve? You. Well, maybe I should try something else this year. Have you got any pot? No. No. Maybe I should try something else this year. Have you got any popcorn? It's crazy about popcorn. If you have any, I'll take 10 cents worth of a pot. You know. Dottie, I'm sorry. However, we have lettuce and spinach and eggplant and oyster plant. Oyster plant and eggplant?  Nests and oysters don't grow on plants either.   This year on a kind of the birds always get it anyhow. Oh, Uncle Moore, don't you think we better go home while we're just hungry and before we start starving? No, Leroy. I'd still like to show you how to make a sale. Now, I have a feeling the things are going to be different at this house. Okay, I'll ring the bell. Yeah. Now, observe the way I give them the politeness approach. Yes, what is it? Oh, how do you do, sir? I'd like to sell you some wonderful garden seeds. They grow so quickly that all you have to do is stick them in the ground and jump back fast. Thank you. Don't you live over on Parkside Avenue? Well, yes. How did you know? Don't you remember me? No, I can't say that I do. I came to your door this afternoon selling encyclopedias. You did? Yes, I did. And do you remember what you did? No. What? Yes. Yes, now I remember. Salesmanship lesson tomorrow? No. After we sell some seeds to Mrs. Twitcha Leroy, I'm sure she's going to buy some anyway. Why not? She's been a pioneer in everything else. What's keeping her? You'd think the old squaw would answer her door, but she's probably too la-di-da, Mrs. Twitcha. Oh, hello, Leroy. How do, Mr. Gildersleeve, what brings you here? It's these seeds of Leroy's. He had quite a lot of them, and I suggested to him that you might want some. Well, that's very thoughtful of you. I could plant some in my garden. You see, Leroy, your uncle Mort knows. How about three or four packages of corn, Mrs. Twitcha? Are you sure you can spare it? Yes. Oh, sure. We've got nine packages. Would you like all nine of them? Yes, I would. Oh, splendid. Now, how about some turnips and parsnips? Oh, do you think they'd be useful? Oh, surely. They're good for... What are they good for? Oh, yes, they make better mashed potatoes than lima beans do. There you are, six packages. Oh, I would also like some beet seeds. How do they come? A beet, ate to the bar. Kind of silly, isn't it? You know, we've struck a gold mine. You said it. And now, Mrs. Twitcha, would you like some Brussels sprouts or okra or lettuce? Oh, no, no, no, no more, Miss Givesley. I already have more that I should have taken, and really, it was most generous of you to come over with such lovely little gifts. Gifts? Oh, thank you, and good night. Good night. Now, Judge Hooker, the first thing we want understood is that we're selling these seeds, not giving them away. I understand, Givesley. No, Congressman. The reason you should buy these seeds is to start a victory garden, Judge. Yeah, everyone should have a victory garden. Right. Food will help win the war. Food is as important as ammunition. Yeah, and all the money we save raising our own food we can put into war-saving stamps and bonds. Say, hey, that's a very good point, young man. Hey, yeah, and look at the exercise it'll give us. Sure, and that way, you can get rid of that spare tire, Gilda. Well, I wasn't aware that I had any spare tires. Just look in any mirror, Gildersley. Oh, yes, the judge made a joke, Leroy. Let's laugh. I'm glad you agree with us, though, Judge. How many packages of seeds do you want? None. None? Why not? Well, I planted my garden a week ago. See, two weeks. You mean that pint-sized clock in your backyard? Well, you can't raise enough stuff there to feed your next door neighbor's bantam chicken. Well, I haven't any more room here. If I had a place out in the country, I could sure go to town. Oh, out in the country? Well, hey, there's an acre of the Blomster Marjory in Leroy's estate, right outside the city limits. There is?  Oh, an acre's too much for me to handle by myself. But I take half. If you'd plant the other half, Gildersley. That's an idea, Uncle Mort. Between the two of you, you'd use up all the seeds we haven't sold. Yes, well, I don't know. Remember, Gildersley, food is ammunition, especially the food you'd grow. We can use it to throw at the enemy. That's all. Well, I'll show you at Leroy, how many packages of seeds have you got left? Twenty-three dollars worth. All right. That'll be eleven and a half from you, Judge, and the same amount from me. How about making it a sporting proposition? I'll toss you to see who pays for the whole thing. Okay, he's going to toss me. You call a hooker. Ready? Yes. Is the head all right? Yes, I should have mine examined. We'll hear from the great Gildersley again in just a moment. But first, here's an interesting question, a friend asked me. A question that certainly proves American housewives are nutrition conscious these days. It was about parquet margarine, the delicious bread-for-bread made by Kraft. This housewife said, I serve my family parquet margarine and they all like it. But does parquet provide them with the kind of nourishment I should expect from a spread for bread? Well, that's easy to answer. The answer is yes. Parquet margarine provides economically the important food elements that nutritional experts generally require of a spread for bread. Here they are. First, parquet margarine provides energy. In fact, it's one of the best energy foods you can serve. Second, parquet is nourishing because the wholesome American vegetable oils and farm products that go into parquet are nourishing in themselves. Third, parquet margarine is a reliable food source of vitamin A. Yes, summer and winter, every pound of parquet contains 9,000 units of this important vitamin. So you see, thrifty parquet margarine provides the things a spread for bread should provide. And it tastes so deliciously good, your family is sure to like it. So why not try some tomorrow? Just ask for parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. MUSIC Have you ever tried to locate a piece of property from the legal description on the deed? Well, that's what the great gilders leave in his nephew Leroy attempting to do this morning before starting out to plant that victory garden. Yeah, 200 northerly feet of the westerly half of section 5 East. Sometimes known as the old Pugelhammer property. In track 207 and a half of the 1904 survey as provided for in paragraph O of the treaty made by President Chester A. Arthur with the Kitsiku Indians. I still don't know where it is. Neither do I. Too bad I never went out and looked at that property. Yeah, it might turn out to be in a swamp or under a lake. Well, in that case, we could raise ducks, or rice, or ducks and rice. Imagine raising ducks already stuffed with wild rice. Before you start selling any duck dinners, don't you think we better go downtown and ask the county recorder where this property is located? That's a mighty good idea, my boy. Then we can go directly out there. Okay, start the car. Yeah, not so fast. What about our lunch? Oh, birdie. I got the whole pack, Mr. Gildsley. Here he is. I picked some new kind of sandwiches I hope you like. Oh, what are they, birdie? I call them birdie burgers. Yes, birdie burgers. They consist of half a cold chicken between two slices of baked ham. Oh, boy. Come on, let's hurry out there so we can dig in. To the sandwiches, I mean. Yeah, you're going to do a lot of other digging young men before we come to the birdie burgers. Are all the garden tools in the rear compartment be roaring? Sure thing. Start it up, honk. It seems to me we've forgotten something. Tools, lunch, old clothes. I guess we've got everything. Well, thank you, birdie. You're welcome. Now, take it easy this Thursday, and don't try to chew more than you can bite off. Yeah, okay, birdie. Have a good time while we're away. Yeah? You sure I feel the funniest little bones I've ever seen. Well, so long, folks. So long. Did you hear that, Leroy? Birdie says we're two of the funniest-looking farmers he ever has seen. Whoa! See, what's all this? Birdie just reminded me what I'd forgotten to take. All that seed. Out in the country, all right, isn't it, my boy? I bet the Saturday evening post doesn't get out here until Saturday. The state ever happened to have property this far from town? Well, it was taken in on a bad debt that we were taken in on. Well, according to the directions, it runs 200 feet north from this marker. Well, which way is north? There's north, let me see. If we had an oak tree, we could tell. If it had moss on it, it moss grows on the north side. It nor is it the south side. Well, it's one of the two, anyway. Well, how about asking that man over there? That man where? Over there, with a mule. Oh, I thought that was a pair of mules. Hey, you over there, if which way is north? What did you say? I said, which way is north? Huh? If which way is north? Don't know, I just work here. I could have gotten a more intelligent answer out of the other mule. Well, maybe we can figure it out by ourselves. The sun should be in the east, don't we? Yes, unless it's afternoon already. Well, if your face is east, your left hand is towards the north, isn't it?  Now all we have to do is measure off 200 feet towards our left. Uh-oh, we forgot to bring a yardstick. Yeah, one thing after another. And maybe that fellow over there has a yardstick. Hey, you! Have you got a yardstick? What did you say? I said, have you got a yardstick. Got a yardstick? I'll just step off the 200 yards. That's well, how long a step do you take, huh? Step? Well, I see. Somewhere between... Oh, I forget. Or did I ever know? Better skip the stepping, Leroy. Have you got any other suggestions? Yeah, too bad Birdie isn't here. She wears a size 12 fume. We can use it for a one-foot ruler. How tall are you, Wunk? Tall? I'm 5 feet 10. Why? Gee, if you were only 6 feet tall, you could lay down and be 2 yardsticks. Hey, that's a good idea, Leroy. I know what we'll do. Put that rake handle out of the back of the car, will you please? This one? Yes, yes. Now, I'll lay down here like this. Now, you mark the spot in the dust where my feet is. Okay, but what... You'll soon see, my boy. And I'll mark the top of my where my head hits the ground there. Splendid. That's the idea, huh? Yes. Now, I add 2 inches. Add 2 inches? You don't get it. Just measure the distance from my head to my toes on that rake handle. Then add the 2 inches and you'll have 6 feet. Quit swinging that tail in my eyes, madam. Goodness, he's gone. Help me up, Leroy. My goodness. What does that farmer mean, letting a dangerous cow run around loose? If... Hey, you! What did you say? Why did you leave that cow loose?  Who is that? Oh! Why is that cow allowed to... A hard row to hold, too.  Doesn't this take you back to the days when you were a kid on the farm, Judge? It would, Gilly, except for one thing. What's that? I was never on the farm when I was a kid. I'll bet you never were a kid either. You must have been born middle-aged. Was it far on the farm once? I'll say. I used to go around barefooted. It was nice to bury my little pink toes in the cool, fresh earth. You know, I wouldn't mind doing that right now. That won't make you a kid again, Giller slave. Well, maybe not, but these shoes are awfully tight anyway. If no one minds, I'm going to take them off. Yes. Yes. There's nothing like getting back to the soil, is there? Uh... It certainly feels nice to scrunch the dirt between your toes, doesn't it? It does? Yeah. Come on, Judgie. You might as well be comfortable. I believe I will try it. How about you, Leroy? Oh, thanks. I've outgrown that sort of thing long ago. Well, I got my shoes off, Gildy.  Yeah, I feel even better if you took your socks off, too. Come on. Oh, yes, yes, of course. Hey, what's wrong with you?  Um, pardon me. But if you gentlemen farmers would stop planting your feet and finish planting the rest of these seeds, would we be all through? Yes, you're right, Leroy. Come on, Judge. Quit clowning around and help Leroy and me. No, what do you want me to do? Well, here's some seeds. Aren't you put two of these in each hole and Judge Hoppe, you cover them with dirt. Oh, that's easy now. Hey, you've got two different kinds of seeds in this bag, Leroy. Which do you want us to plant? One of each. That's unusual. What's the idea?  Well, if this works, we can try planting a blue plate special. Come on, Judge.  Leroy, now let's do it with teamwork and rhythm. Yeah, we'll count. One, two, three, four. On one and two, you drop in the seeds. On three and four, I'll rake over the dirt. Okay? Why not? Anything your little mind can think of, Judge. Let's begin. One and two. Three, four. One and two. Three, four. One and two. Three, four. It's corn, a beast. Rake, rake. It's corn, a beast. Rake over.   Is that right? Well, look. Is that your big toe? Why, I thought it was a lima bean. Judge Hooker, lima beans don't twitch. And Judge, what'd you do with my shoes and stockings? I didn't do anything. Where are mine? That's kind of peculiar, isn't it? Leroy, did you pick up our shoes and stockings? No, I didn't touch them. But how could they possibly disappear right off a bare field with no one else around? I don't know. We can't put our pad at home on our bare feet like this. Hey, hey, I just figured out what happened. Come on up and watch. Come on, Judge. Let's get busy with our rakes and holes again. You planted your shoes and stockings. Oh, this is going to be one of my bad days.  Yes, well, any day now, Bertie. Ever since the last rain, everything is coming along swimmingly. Yeah, I tried some of the radicals yesterday and they're coming up fine. The Marjorie. You should come out some day and look our garden over. It's a vision of vitamins. Well, I'll ride out with you the next time you go. How are you getting along with Judge Hooker?  What was that? Well, he was raking his half of the garden when he suddenly found out he'd lost his diamond ring. Yeah, and he offered a dollar reward to the one who found it. Yeah, Leroy and I scratched through his whole patch. When we finished, he discovered that he hadn't worn the ring that day. It was all a scheme to get us to rake his rutabakers for him.  Oh, you shouldn't have done that, Uncle. Yeah, I know it, my dear. I'm sorry I did it too. Now we gotta get a new scarecrow. What are you going out there again, Uncle Morton? Well, not till next week. Ain't you afraid the goblers will go for the plan? What? Or the weeds string up in children? No, Bernie. I cleared the garden of all the weeds yesterday. Yeah, only some of the weeds turned out to be young calluses. Oh, that was too bad. Did you pull out many of them? Well, I must have ripped up 12 or 14 rows before I discovered what they were. However, I had a lucky break, my dear. You did? Yes. I did all my pulling out on Judge Hooker's half. One more row and I would have starred on our own carrot. Really, Uncle Morton, I've been amazed at what you've done with this bit of land. Do you really and truly have a green thumb? Yes, it matches the rest of this complexion. I'll see you here, Judge Hooker. You get over on your own side with your pumpkins and cabbages. That way you won't look so conspicuous. The judge was only having a little fun. He didn't mean it. Look now, but there's that man again. Oh, you mean the hired hands from the farm next door. What do you mean over the fence? You're grinning and laughing all the time. You've been doing that ever since we started this garden. You used to make us angry at first. Doesn't you give any explanation? Well, if you ask what it's all about, he just says, No, I just work here. Oh, I bet I could find out. Let me try, huh? That's not a bad idea, Marjorie. Go ahead. Let's not go over, too. I'd like to know what this is all about. Come on, then. Only let me do all the talking. Come on, Uncle Morse. At first I thought he was amused at our efforts to be farmers. But we've had such marvellous results, and he still gives us a horse laugh. Ah, good morning. Good morning, ladies. Nice garden, my uncle and my brother, and Judge Hooker fixed up, isn't it? Yes. There's nothing wrong with the garden, is there? No, no.  Oh, come on. Tell me. It's the land, the garden is yours. What's wrong with that land? Nothing, only it ain't yours. What? What do you mean it is an hour? It's the first day you come out here. You started majoring in South from the stake and standing in the horse. What? Does that mean that we put in all that work for nothing and the crop is an hour? Oh, I had a feeling I was wrong, Judge. When did you get that feeling, Giller Sleeves? This morning. So I went downtown and I found out that Mr. Compton owned this property. Yeah, that's the man I work for. Oh, no, you don't. Not anymore. I bought this property this morning and you work for me now. By George, you don't either. You're fired. The great Giller Sleeves will be with us again in a few minutes. Meantime, I imagine you mothers and hot wives are pretty busy these days, so I'm sure you're interested in ways of streamlining the preparing of meals and getting results that are mighty appetizing, too. Now, if you're used to running to the refrigerator for a dab of this for a shortening, a dab of that for pan frying and something else for a spread for bread, here's a time-saving hint. Use parquet margarine for all these purposes. Yes, parquet margarine, made by crafts. You see, the delicate appetizing flavor that makes parquet margarine such a delicious spread for bread makes it a favorite for cooking, too. Yes, parquet margarine is a real flavor shortening that makes all baked foods taste better. It's as well-seasoning for hot vegetables. Parquet margarine makes pan-fried food tastier, too, and it doesn't satter as thick as a pan. So in one convenient package, you have a grand-tasting product for all these uses. And remember this, no matter how you use it, parquet margarine is a nourishing, wholesome energy food and a reliable year-round source of vitamin A. So, tomorrow, sure, try economical parquet margarine. Remember, it's parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine, made by crafts.


Hey guys, Shepard here doing a little vlog here Had to go with monkey again to work today because I had to go see the pulmonary doctor, which They didn't run any tests. I just kind of had to go talk to him But you know, of course one of the first things he says is You need to quit smoking if you want me to help you you're gonna have to quit smoking Thinking why that's kind of discrimination And then I mean, you know what you're not gonna help me if I if I'm a smoker, you know If that's the whole case then I would you be out of a job if one for me But he don't know yet because he hasn't run any tests. He's just seen where I was a smoker So he started off with that So then he gives me Two weeks supply of this inhaler, right?  I thought I was gonna pass out Okay, but now he's worried about me smoking less than a pack of cigarettes a day now I Was reading the side effects On this medicine, right? Okay Worried about me smoking Let me read this to you. All right, because a lot of people don't read this stuff Well, I do because I you know, I'm wondering Because see the first thing he said when he was talking about that was and this is no joking. That's monkey. I Can write you a script for anything? I can write you a script for for gum. I can write you a script for pills I can write you a script for the patches my cigarettes cost a dollar 35 a pack In most places A lot of places I can get them for 99 cents a pack.   She know Overweight let's go there.   So, I mean I opened this pack of cigarettes yesterday. I've still got five in it see that so Come on so And this is before he tests me now Okay Smoking that pack of cigarettes This may take a minute. So All right, it is called. What is it anoro ellipta or whatever? I don't know if i'm pronouncing that right Anoro ellipta Okay, now If you take too much, this is only supposed to be once a day So I don't know if I if I take how am I going to take too much But I guess some people would call your healthcare provider go to the nearest hospital emergency room Okay, but It says what are the possible side effects of anoro ellipta of this product? With a question mark It can cause serious side effects including And it says also this is like a page and a half long here. Well, you know short page, but Okay several paragraphs And the first thing it says is see what is the most important information I should know about anoro ellipta So it's put, you know, it's going back and forth Okay, number one.  All right I'm smoking cigarettes for 30 years and By the way, my primary doctor thinks it's a blockage because I have scar tissue From my bronchitis when I bronchia pneumonia coughing so much and when I was coughing up blood It was ripping. So the scar tissue she believes is what the blockage is is why I can't breathe doctors thinking it's cigarettes but sudden Here's the first side effect now I'm Now I've got to I've got to take this because I'm having breathing issues, right? But the first side effect is sudden breathing problems immediately after inhaling your medicine That's why that's why I'm taking it, right? If you have sudden breathing problems immediately after inhaling your medicine Stop using this product and call your healthcare provider right away Hmm. So he's going to give me something That may worsen the problem. I'm having that has nothing to do with the cigarette Second one serious allergic reactions Call your healthcare provider or get emergency medical care if you get any of the following symptoms of a serious allergic reaction, which is Rash swelling of your face mouth and tongue hives or breathing problems Well, my whole issue is breathing problems Okay All right. There's effects on my heart increased blood pressure A faster irregular heartbeat awareness of heartbeat or chest pain stuff.  I'm already having This doesn't make sense.  It doesn't make sense. Okay It can have effects on my nervous system tremors or nervousness New or worsened eye problems including acute narrow Angle glaucoma Okay, new or worsened. I don't have glaucoma. It's just for reading. These these are just they're not even prescription They just help me read better.  Okay I'm really I'm flipping a hell of a coin taking this shit Right once a day for 14 days And okay now that's you know, that's the worst of them But here it is it goes on if you have these symptoms call your healthcare provider right away before taking another dose urinary retention People who take a norelipta, whatever may develop new or worse Urinary retention retention symptoms of urinary retention may include difficulty urinating Urinating frequently painful urination urination in a weak stream or drips Wow, I'm breathing.   I mean all that except for the car stuff I threw in You know neck pain I mean and these are common side effects common means It usually happens to people So not only can I not breathe I may end up with a sore throat. I may get some chest pains pains and more, you know Oh, but throw that cigarette away You know Tell your healthcare provider about any side effect that bothers you Or that does not go away These are not all the side effects with This product that's not all of them. There's more But it says call your doctor for medical advice about So there's more side effects. They're not even telling you about But I better quit smoking or smoked for 30 years But I better quit now because he says if you quit now I can prolong your life Why is he going to personally Every time I cross the street is he going to personally make sure all the vehicles are stopped?   Where am I going to get a pack of patches? To keep from smoking for a dollar a dollar 35 a day Actually a little less than that Where am I going to get the gum the lozenges the pills the you know, where am I going to get that for that kind of money? And each and every one of those have their own side effects now Where's the side effects on this, you know The there's one side effect you could die.  I just got to take it easy. I got to sit down. I got a rest I go blind Personally is he going to personally hold my hand so I can walk and make videos You know, is he going to pay for my basic surgery if I get glaucoma?   I can start having chest pains swollen You know, I could have rashes swollen Hell, you know If my tongue swells up, what if what if it does swell up? Then I can't breathe and that's the problem.   Well, that's discrimination You know, that's like saying I don't want to help you because you're bald. It's the same thing You know, so what I mean these come on. Yeah, they're bad for me, but Is he gonna tell me this is good for me? And then the patches That's good for me. I do know for fact the patches put nicotine in your system That's what these do Come on doc, really? So me and him ain't gonna get along, you know, because I told him right there.   How can he how can any doctor say I can prolong your life?    I mean anything we do if we're out in the sun too long Oh, I'd like to take a walk day, but I can't go out in the sun too long. It causes cancer It just pisses me off.    I do know this ain't gonna cause me to go blind. Can it cause cancer? Yeah, can I beat cancer? Yeah, can I get cancer without these? Yeah I mean, can I get glaucoma? Sure I can but damn I don't want to because the doctor said this is good for me.  That's just this That's just this alone and like I said, it's not all the symptoms It's not all the side effects because everyone knows if they learn anything about side effects that Side effects you will get a few side effects on anything that you take if there's a side effect You're going to get them.  Shaber the myth man legend. I'm gone for now. Take care now


Okay, we're back. We're live one o'clock rock here on research in Manoa our weekly Monday show about science at UH It's specifically at the school of ocean ocean and earth science and at its division HIGP the Hawaii Institute of geophysics and planetology and an old friend joins us Andrea Gabrielli He's a research and a PhD candidate there. Well, last time he was around he came and talked to us about hyperspectral imaging of I guess volcanoes and lava and eruptions and all that and now we're talking about sort of the kissing cousin of that subject We're talking about magma chambers down below Exactly Jay. Great to be back. Thanks for having me here so magma chambers and the official title is Journeyed into the heart into the heart of the volcano. Wow. Yeah today. We're gonna go the Last time we talked about as you said hyperspectral imaging and how we could actually map Volcanic gases what they could tell us about Eruptions and all that but today we're gonna go within the volcano So we're gonna talk about what happens below the crust within the edifice of the volcano This is very interesting stuff because I you know people don't really know they just know that the volcano erupts That's what volcanoes do, but we're talking about the the process of eruption before it happens exactly And and if we can have maybe the the first slide up, okay, we can see you have some slides Oops, what is that now? Well, this is a very familiar View for for those of us who live in Hawaii this is the summit of Kilauea volcano and You can see that's the Halema Oma event within the vent There is another crater. They call it the overlook vent That's where there is the lava lake from which you can see the reddish glow coming from it. So Magma chambers this this magma this magma comes from within the volcano and particularly there are lots of sources and Hawaii for example, it comes from the the so-called hot spot Which is stationary with respect to the Pacific plate that moves so this is why we have an island chains For example in other areas we we can have a subduction zone So a plate Subducting beneath another one. Yeah, yes, and then this huge forces involved huge huge forces Huge earthquakes that the energy can be can be released But also the material that go down is partially melt It may the as it goes down the pressure increases and and it gets hot And so this material can rise again for with buoyancy towards the surface and that's the phenomenon that originate for example volcanism on the Cascades So I think mountains the cascade mountains from in Washington, Oregon and northern California So such as Mount Rainier who the lesson or St. Helens? Yeah, well, I have so many questions about these magma chambers. First of all How deep are they? I mean are they right below the surface? So they write below where the lava is erupting out of the volcano. Are they way down there? There are the depth of course Changes for for these magma chambers and that there can be multiple magma chambers in a volcano as well That's actually what we have here at Kilauea volcano because we have multiple magma chambers within the same edifice and people are mapping these Thanks to earthquakes because as a seismic waves Travel to into the into the edifice of the volcano once the the rock breaks and the waves are propagating the velocity of these waves change With the the with the material so if it's liquid if it's solid if it's partially melt The velocity is different. So that's how people can map these magma chamber Okay, but hyperspectral imaging not going to help you you have to have different tools than for eruption itself There are a variety of tools that are used to forecast the volcanic eruptions this This work we're doing here at the University of Hawaii with hyperspectral imaging can help us Detecting gases and so and gases can help us in in fear. What's going on within the volcano? So what's the principle if I see a certain gas coming out now? It's not erupting yet, right? It's but I see a certain gas coming out This is going to tell you that it will erupt and it's going to tell you something about the chamber below How do you determine that? It's that it's the depth of Exolution of the these gases from the magma from the bulk of the maximum. So how do you spell that? Ex s o l u t i o n okay Nobody knew that before that's basically as the magma rises towards the surface The pressure decreases. So as the pressure decreases gases are being released are exalted from the main bulk of the magma and the interesting thing is that these gases Exolve are released at different depths. So this is can tell us where the magma that is D-gassing is actually as we measure these gases on the surface And it comes through the rock the gas comes through the rock comes through the rocks right up and and this and this journey We're gonna go into a magma chamber. So this journey starts in the city of Lancaster That's in the northwestern part of England. That's where I started. That's where I did my master with Professor Lionel Wilson Who is also a visiting professor here at the University of Hawaii and so if we can have there it is here That's that's Lancaster. That's the beautiful city of Lancaster It was founded in the in the first century as a Roman Fort permanent Roman Fort you can see on the left of the Tower Bell of the Cathedral in the center the 12 the the castle which dates back to the 12th century and The Revolune on the right that goes into the more came Bay But what we're interested in today are The mountains that you can that you can barely see in the background of these images There's a red circle where I drew the red circle. That's right. That's where we're going because this area is Is that is the British Lake District? That's an area that were that that was Chanted by the romantic poets Collarage Samuel Taylor color agent William Wordsworth. It's a beautiful. It's a beautiful area, but 450 million years ago at the in the early Ordovichian period. That's what they call it that area was actually a volcanic arc, so it was characterized by volcanic eruption and the geology is similar to the volcanic arc of islands that we can see in the West Pacific today and Was an area and and so of course the now after 450 million years ago volcanoes The are of course inactive. They're not active anymore But the landscape that that is still there is amazing for geology research And there are field trips from from the local University. They are the University of Lancaster and people can go and really understand how Volcanoes work from beneath and so when you don't think of you know England or London or Lancaster as a place of Volcanoes and eruptions, but they were they were and and there is a very nice place in Edinburgh in the city of Edinburgh in Scotland that the castle the main castle of the city is built on a on a on a on a volcanic Structure so that that's when you go there you enjoy the castle But some people are not aware that it's actually built on what? Historically was an ancient volcano. So if you have a volcano Including an ancient volcano you always have a magma chamber below, right? You cannot have a volcano and an eruption without having a magma chamber below my right usually as the as the Activity the volcanism develops in an area the magma tends to rise and then form this this magma pools Where the magma is gathered and a stationary so yeah, usually we do have these and North of England if we go to these mountains in Cumbria We can see exactly how a magma chamber looked like and it might be different from what you might expect Okay, if we have that Here we go That's a that's a chamber orchestra Well of course 450 million years ago the orchestra wasn't there I guarantee this is the chamber playing in the chamber That's right, that's right But this this this area this area so this is a mine This is a slate mine in Cumbria Honister mine and It's a slate mine so people go there to extract this late material But this whole area was formed during volcanic eruptions and Particularly we are we're interested in the in the ceiling in the background of this image You can see the ceiling it's tilted that that's a 30 degrees angle. Yeah, and that's a sill That's a magmatic sill. It's not slate itself It's not slated the slate was created that over million of years of years by Metamorphism so not only the the original magma, but the the the the initial rock that the breeze from the eruptions within this volcano where Deformed by heat and pressure over million of years, and that's what created the slate, but the volcanic Structure is still there. Yeah, now, you know, if the orchestra the chamber orchestra could go down in there It's not that far below the surface, right? It's not far below the surface and in the and usually they organize these events during the summer because it's quite an interesting Area acoustics must be beautiful I bet yeah So the seal the the rock we're looking at this this this in the background that that's basically a Sill so we're talking about a body of magma that was intruded horizontally within two existing layers of rocks So a magma chamber is not actually as some people Might think during simplification. We try to simplify, but sometimes we oversimplify It's not actually a body a spherical body of magma Within the volcano. It's much more complex. It's a river of magma It's it's an ensemble of these structures So say ensemble ensemble that they use that term in connection with orchestras So that's why we have so it all connects. It's all to get all connect. I know It's a it's a it's a an ensemble of these Structure I was showing you in the pictures of the orchestra So an ensemble of sills, which are this body of magmas that were intruded horizontally and also dykes Which is kind of the same thing, but they're smaller and they're usually vertical Yeah, so it's an ensemble of these features and it we in the in the next slide We can actually see a diagram So there this is this is a scheme. This is a diagram It's a figure showing how a magma chamber might actually look like so you can see it's not an ellipsoid It's not a sphere, but it's it's a it's a combination of all these dykes and sills Within that within the edifice of the volcano now we saw a picture So we know that you know the floor of the ceiling is so far apart, you know It looked like 20 30 feet maybe But it could be bigger or it could be smaller, right? Absolutely, it's this it's difficult to usually people talk about Diameter, but as I said, it's little they can we can talk about the diameter of the whole Of the whole material which include both the material that is melt and The material that is partially melt. So once I was having a conversation with a Petrologist here at University of Hawaii and we were talking about different size different hypothesis because the geophysical the geophysical Instruments your physical instrument tell you the difference in velocity of the of the seismic waves So that gives you an estimate of the volume of the of the material But that gives you the estimate of the material that is melt and also the material that is partially melt So is it and so Petrologist usually focus on both In the in the in the work I've been doing in England what we considered was just the melt Not the partially melt So we wanted to avoid that because it was more complicated to model we try to simplify it a little bit But still having a reliable result. We tested these models on Kilauea and and other volcanoes to try and really understand What happens as the magma chamber gets pressurized? so pressure is one thing that It's a it's a factor in the development of the chamber in the size of the chamber the way that the pseudo pods reach out You know the little tributaries reach out But there's another you mentioned also the seismic activity So it sounds like it's pressure and it's also a combination of pressure and seismic activity That pushed the magma against the wall of the chamber now and gases as well and gases In the picture in the figure we showed below We were looking at this magma chamber and then as the magma chamber Inflates because more material is added comes from beneath and is added to the chamber then The pressure increase increases as you said, but also it inflates So this inflation caused the ruptures and in the in the rocks surrounding the magma chains And so that's how we have earthquakes. So we have earthquake. So what volcanologists are interested in? our three main things to try and and and Forecast these eruptions the first one is the formation So they measure how the edifice how the shape of the edifice is changing And so they and they can tell this by measuring gravity using tilt emitters and other instruments But also there can't go in there, right? You can't go in a magma chamber Well, you can go if it's if it's empty as the one as you want in Cumbria as the one in Cumbria It's got hot magma. That's not a good idea Not a good idea and you can't put instruments in there either because it's too hot, right? But the beauty hot is it well the the temperature of the magma is 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit and rock and it is rock and magma is magma is a as a combination of rock rock melt melted rocks and gases which are dissolved into this liquid into this hot liquid melt and So the first one as I said is earth deformation and then we have earthquakes activity and the third component of of this This measurements that volcanologists do is actually gases so we have three three Things that we can measure to try and forecast how this magma is moving within the within these chambers Okay, we're gonna when you come back. We're gonna find out the characteristics of that movement We're also gonna find out what happens when the hot magma, you know touches the edges of the chamber What happens? What kind of reaction happens there and how come you can have a chamber orchestra within the chamber? And it does not falling down on you. Okay, just asking just curious questions here on think-tech Andrea Gabrielli a researcher at HIGP at Sowest on Research of Innova. We'll be right back for more Hi, I'm Stacy Hayashi and you can catch me on Mondays at 11 on think-tech Hawaii Stacey to the rescue. See you then Aloha, I'm Kaley Akina president of the grassroot Institute If you want to be an informed citizen We invite you to watch every week as we bring wonderful guests together on a HANA Kakao a weekly program on the think-tech Hawaii broadcast network every Monday at 2 o'clock PM We talk with people who know what they're talking about when it comes to the economy or the government or to building a better society So we'll see you then on a HANA Kakao, which means let's work together every Monday at 2 o'clock PM On the think-tech Hawaii broadcast network. Aloha Okay, we're back. We're live with Andrea Gabrielli a researcher at HIGP the Hawai'i Institute of Geophysics and Plenitology here on our Monday show at 1 o'clock every Monday researched in Manoa and As we left this exciting journey. It was a journey into the chamber into the heart of the volcano We're talking about you know these these three things you can measure and My curiosity point is exactly how does that magma affect the walls of the chamber? Does it burn them off? Does it make them so hot they become part of the magma or you know Does the chamber cool the magma and what happens at the point of contact? The point that's an excellent question That's what we're we're actually trying to do with this modeling of chambers. This is what pathologists do basically the Rock that surrounds the magma chamber gets hot as you said because of the contact with the magma within the chamber and then Because of the pressure it is subjected to it can go and and and be Metamorphosed so the the the nature of this rock is changed by the heat and the pressure But as you move as you move away from the from the chamber and the temperature decreases Then you have a brittle a brittle a behavior of these rocks those fingers that are moving away That's that's going to be cooler than in the center of the chamber and in the center and as these these fingers this this Dyches and cells propagate through the these layers these layers of existing rocks then There are earthquakes and and it's brittle But the material that is closer to the chamber is actually partially melt So the deformation is more plastic But then as you go away it becomes brittle it can break and so we have earthquakes and and other activity You know I had one question has to come up is that in that in that picture that graphic We just looked at it's really to me an important picture that we to understand you show a flow of magma coming from Down below And it's coming in a fairly defined pathway there How does how does where does it come from and how does it move and does it burn up everything in its path? Or does that path already exist? Again, usually it's it's a it's formed this conduit that we talk about is actually formed by many dykes so these These fingers we can call them that propagates through existing layers of rock But it's usually as I said many dykes that propagate and those are bigger dykes than the little finger dykes Usually you can go on the east side here on Oahu there. There are some exposed Dykes from the ancient koalau volcano or you can go towards the Waianae coast and even there there are some Towards kahena point. There are some pretty impressive dice. Usually they are two three meters in Size but they can be kilometers long, but the thickness is usually two three meters Kilometers long, I mean horizontal direction in and they're like a Curtain so they're like for example the the thickness is like two three meters, but then they extend Yeah, like that for four But are you saying that in the center of the earth? There is one great big magma chamber and it expresses itself In fingers of one of larger size and then smaller size all the way up The this magma It has different origins, but particularly for example here in Hawaii the magma is originating down within the mantle So not at the center the center is solid. It's a nickel and iron Sphere that rotates very quickly and creates a geomagnetic Field of the earth, but that's solid what creates the heat of the magma that is above that core The so this dates back to the formation of the of the solar system 4.5 billion years ago when millions of these tiny little objects and called planetesimals where Colliding and through a creation they form the planets now as the planet was becoming bigger and also became Sphere more spherical the pressure and the heat within this the center of the planet Basically is still trapped there today and that's part that's basically 20% of the heat budget that from the from from from a planet the rest comes from radioactive decay of elements of heavier elements the 70 yeah I mean we have radioactive elements in the down toward when you get down toward the core Not towards the core this this is we're talking about the mantle so we have we have the the inner core The outer core and then the mantel's we're talking about but for example as I said in the cascades or in other locations The origin of the magma is much more superficial as much more is as this this 90 80 90 kilometers below the crust That's where the magma from the subduction zone is melted and then it can it can go up again So the the but the core is actually Solid and it's not hot and it's very hot Very hot but it's solid okay, but it's solid now you were talking about these three ways that you can do scientific investigation on the material in the in the in the in the magma chamber What kind of instruments do you use in order to measure those three? Indicators, oh we measure we measure size smaller we use size Instruments to develop to measure seismic waves the seismographs we use As I said earlier till timeters we use that That's to for measure the formation and we use also FTIR fully transform spectrometers to try and measure gases or hyperspectral. That's a new technology. We're testing But these three techniques to measure How the edifice of the volcano behaves in response to the inflation of the magma chamber Are also particularly useful to study external stresses What could cause a trigger of a volcanic eruption because sometimes? That the inner pressure is not enough to trigger actually trigger a volcanic eruptions And I believe we have a slide that that will bring us to oh here we go. This is ethna volcano So here we go back to Italy and you can see in this image We are looking at the north northern Slope of the of the of the volcano. That's the northern flank. Well, what mountain is this etna? That's a volcano in Italy in southern in Sicily You can see next to the center of the image a little bit towards the left. That's the summit It's covered in snow You can see there is a vent that is degassing and the top of the vent that is Is is not covered in snow because the soil the rocks are hot over there But what I want to draw your attention to is the red line That I drew that line is basically a fault. It's a line of fault So it's zone of weakness within the volcano now What happens is that the flank of volcanoes can move along these zones of weakness And so if for example, there was a Lens slide or an event that could move the flank of the volcano then There would be a depressurization of the magma chamber and that could induce an eruption so for example on How do you tell where it went draw that line because we can see these these fractures within the rocks You can eyeball them we can we can walk we can see fishers we can see fishers and cracks That's how you determine so we use there or you're looking for a photo. We were there. We were there Okay, but we were we also look at these movements from satellites so we can tell whether the the flank of a volcano is moving by also looking at differences from satellites and and and and and measure these things that but the Interesting part is that for example an example of this this depressurization of the edifice is actually on May the 18th 1980 when Mount St. Helens started to erupt the actual that the initial blast that if you remember the picture was Horizontal the the mountain the eruption started the blast was horizontal because it was not actually triggered by The pressure of the magma within the chamber. It was actually triggered by a landslide So the volcano was caused by an earthquake from the magma which was caused by an earthquake Okay, so the the the mountain was already pressurized the volcano was already pressurized because of the because of the magma that was injected and The northern flank of the volcano was really the formed and on that morning There was a strong earthquake that the northern flank of the volcano started to slide down Over-existing layers of rocks subduction. Oh, no, then we're here. We're talking about the subduction is between plates Here we're talking about an edifice of a volcano. So we're talking about the landslide. That's a different Okay, yeah, okay, but this this this movement this movement of the of the edifice of the volcano That's slide it down cause that the compression of the chamber and so that induced up the the main blast The the main explosion of mountain so the different these these experiences these phenomenon are different I wanted to ask you one more question before we go and that is Are you now in a better position to predict where and when and how forceful of volcanic eruption will be because of this technology? We we are definitely trying to do our best to predict volcanic eruptions Of course, there's still the much still to be undiscovered the still much to be investigated But but we're for sure we are on the right track because with this technology with these new instrument We can really peek into the earth into the earth into the heart of the volcano as you were saying and so we can We can understand Really the dynamics of what happens within the volcano and one thing is clear volcanic eruptions aren't going away anytime soon We're gonna have more we're gonna need to predict them. That's Andrea Gabrieli He's a researcher Gabrielle. He's a researcher at HIGP the Hawaiians to geophysics and planetology That's so west here on research in Manoa and we want you to come back again soon We want to follow everything you do. Thank you very much Andrea Thank you. Thank you Jay


So should we go ahead and get started? So I'm Aaron Sue and this talk will be an order of magnitude less code than Roger's talk. We're focusing on something slightly different. So the early disclaimer this is an educated hyper drawing statements and a little bit of fun a religious sermon are purely imaginary and of a suspicious mind so with that out of the way don't be fanatical. Enjoy your computing and put some fun back in the coding that you're doing. So we have to talk about the elephant in the room APL Morton likes to describe it as in specific language languages for problems that problems that we can solve or think about using arrays, which is basically everything. So it's a rather infamous language or is it a wonderful language and the answer to that is really going to depend on are you a computer scientist or are you normal folk and if you're normal folk it's a wonderful magical useful language and if you're a computer scientist, unfortunately the experience is slightly different. This is kind of tragic but not all computer scientists are like this. Not everybody has this experience. Alan Perlis found a lot of interesting things to say about APL. He brings out particularly terseness, flexibility, composability and I want to emphasize these last two bolded sections natural language pros and artistic possibilities. So Noresh failed to include a very important group in his group discussion or group exercise, which is the computer artist, the artist in computing. We need to remember that. So the computer scientists that like APL, unfortunately, they often end up here. We've moved past the baby stage, but well we're almost there, right? Just a little bit more we'll get over the fence. So really this talk is about answering this question. What are we going to do? How do you actually learn APL?  Right? Jon Scholes' game of life demo on YouTube. It's wonderful. It shows the magic. Everybody goes, wow, yay, cool. But then they get stuck and unfortunately they go to write their own code and again, we're back to what am I doing? None of this makes sense and I've been asking myself why for a while and I've come to the conclusion that we have this emotional attachment to engineering concepts in computer science and in computing and this has come a lot from the software engineering movements and things like that. We've sort of claimed that we're not part of that anymore, but we still are. We've been very informed by this experience. In fact, what we have is a cult of best practices. In fact, pretty much everybody now worships at this cult of best practices and where did we get these best practices? Well, through the ages of developing and working with our software, problems have shown up, driven by the machine and we've invented our own spaces, our worlds, our programming languages, allows us to live in these worlds, but the ideas that are driving these programming languages are driven by the machine. We're living in a world designed by the machine and we follow these best practices so that we can live in this world and it makes sense. Sound like something else, you know? The matrix. So, what if I told you that APL is easy to read? All you have to do is free your mind. Free your mind from the matrix. And to do this, we have to go back to the origins and the design principles that Ken Iverson talked about in his Turing Award lecture, he framed them all in terms of these two quotes. He set the stage with these two quotes and these quotes are about the power of notation to affect the human's capacity, mental capacity, to engage with problems and with complexity. And to reify this or put some some meat on this, he developed a set of principles that he says a good notation should have. APL is a notation. Notice I'm really focusing on human here. Keep that in mind. So with APL, what we're aiming for is ease of solution expression. That means the degree to which problems find a suitable and easy expression in our language natively. Suggestivity is a really one of my favorites. It's the degree to which when you write some piece of code, that code inspires you. Suggests alternatives, patterns, ways of looking at things. It's not just about seeing what's there, but seeing how that thing that you're looking at, that piece of code could apply elsewhere. Maybe it suggests that you look at a different type of code or a different approach or you see connections and patterns. It's about recognizing the bigger picture. And to do that, we need to subordinate detail, but not abstraction. Abstraction is hiding away detail and pretending it doesn't exist. This is letting ourselves know the detail exists, but subordinating it so it does not introduce an increased mental cognitive load. Economy is an important element because economy is how much it takes to actually get to the solution. So it's not how neat does your little solution look once you've built up all of your frameworks and your libraries and everything else. It's how much, how big is your vocabulary to solve so many problems. As the more problems you solve, does your library get bigger? Or can you solve a whole lot of problems with a very small vocabulary and a very small set of without needing to build up a lot of libraries and frameworks and other things. An economical language will get you further with less than a language that requires you to build a lot of extra abstractions. And then finally, we saw the amenability to formal proofs. I don't think there's any necessary need to belabor that point because Roger demonstrated that fairly convincingly. You AP was great for pushing symbols around for thinking algebraically about your code as a whiteboard language, right? You want that kind of thing. So how do we get from there to how do I actually program with this? Well, basically you're doing it wrong. And what I've developed is a set of patterns and anti patterns. The problem is, as computer scientists, we have embedded these ideas, these best practices in our heads and how that we need to how we need to approach problems. And those are now anti patterns and APL good APL tends to exhibit design principles that are diametrically opposed to the way you've been told how to write good code. And this is a problem because every time you go to write good code, you're making decisions implicitly that you might not even realize based on those patterns. And so to write good APL code, I suggest sticking with a new set of patterns. And I've got eight of them here. Now, these aren't rules. These are principles that are going to drive your thought process. And they'll each be manifested for a given type of problem in a different way. So these aren't rules. These are spectrums of possibility that open up because of the notation we have. And in addition to this, it's interesting to wonder, well, is this intuitive? Is this natural? So I'm going to be referencing Miller 1981 and pain 2001, which are two studies that were conducted with non programmers in an attempt to see when given a programming task, natural language like English, and no programming background, how did they describe the process of programming to other people? What is the the normal human way, the natural programming model that humans work with before they've been trained in computer science? Principles brevity brevity over verbosity. And I think most people think that short code is good, but they don't really actually like short code. They tend to associate short code with cleverness. And that is a bad thing.  But brevity is really about finding simple, natural, easy short expressions that we can work with. So let's consider a nice simple basic example, your average function. So this is an expression in APL. It's a definition for a function that computes the average of a vector, say. So now, if you're in a functional programming language, you probably do something similar to this, maybe a fold reduction with plus over the list divided by the count. That's basically what this is doing. All right, seems pretty good. But now, I want to do this with an arbitrary number of samples that I've taken. So I've done sampling multiple times. And I want to get the average of each of that group of samples. Now, how do you have to adapt your program? What do you have to do? Well, you probably need to figure out whether you're going to do a zip or a map, another map or another thing. In APL, well, no, we don't do that. We just leave it as is because it already works for that as well. And so we've kept things short. And the reason we keep things short, the method behind the madness, is our code is bigger on the inside than on the outside. And this allows us to do a lot of interesting things. One of the biggest things is that it keeps our code malleable. It's easier to work with. It's easier to tweak and play with. We can really move it around like clay. And one of the reasons we can do this is because we have more confidence in our code because the code can fit in our heads. And this is something that's important.  And APL is one of the few languages where your average APL or you go to him and ask, what's your favorite program? He'll write his favorite program down from memory. He's got programs in his memory. How many of you could, without looking at your computer, sit down and write without bugs in it, your program, favorite program, an actual program, a real whole thing that does a real useful piece of work? You just don't do that in other programming languages. It's an advantage of brevity that people overlook. So what do the studies say? Well, the studies found that universally, people were annoyed if they felt like they had to be too verbose in the descriptions. They always wanted to try to create shortcuts and create shorter and shorter descriptions. And that's just a natural human tendency because it's a type of optimization that we want to do when we're engaging with process. So let's look at the next macro over micro. I think we can clearly think about this by looking at some pictures. So here's some beautiful bark, excellent picture, wonderful design, micro view, right? We can really see what's going on in this picture. We've got control, right? I mean, if I need to deal with these pieces of bark, I've got it. The problem is we've missed the fricking mountain that's about to come crashing down on us or that we have to deal with. And so the APL are, yeah, maybe we don't see the bark, but we get to see that mountain. We can plan for it. We can deal with it. We can make decisions at a macro level. And that's what you need to try to do when you're code, when you're working with APL. You want to try to look at that global view, that whole thing. I want to think of everything and encompass everything rather than going element by element or item or item.  So as an example of this, we have this partitioning function or using a hash function to do a partition and compute over the elements partitioned by some categorizer. So we've got alpha here. That's our hash function or our hashing function. It'll partition everything that we want to work with. And to an APL-er, it's immediately obvious what the big picture is here. It's that giant square. And it informs everything that we're doing. We can see that big picture. Notice that we haven't cluttered this up with micro equations about iterations, loops, anything like that. We've used a nice easy to identify symbol that clearly defines our access patterns and gives us the big picture. And then we've sort of, we let the rest of it happen and we don't worry about some of these micro-view questions. So what do the studies say? Well, I think it's pretty self-explanatory. When people program and they don't know how to program, they tend to vastly prefer to talk about big picture things using giant sets of things. They almost never use the singular. They always talk the plural about groups of things, sets of things. And they use aggregate operations. Sound like the language we're talking about? So our next pattern is transparency over abstraction. And this isn't a unique idea in APL. We just take it a little bit further. And the problem is we over-abstract today. And we know that we've been abstracting for years because a famous MIT textbook, Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs, has this in the forward. It says Pascal's for Building Paramids. Insert your favorite statically typed ADT- focused programming language here. And Lisp, Insert APL, is for building organisms, right? So most people are really concerned with building pyramids, rigorous, well-defined programs that are going to stand the test of time. Another way of approaching it is make it so that you can change and adapt. And I would argue that really code must be thought of as an organism and it's best to make sure that your code can evolve because pyramids perish really quickly in the ecosystem of the programming world. So how can we sum this up? Abstraction considered harmful. We need to start thinking about abstraction the same way we think about the go-to. Sometimes we need to use it, but it better be an act of desperation. It should not be our first thing. And you guys think that you could do this in your other languages, but I guarantee you when you think about a problem and you put it down, the first thing you're thinking about is an abstraction, an extra layer on top of things. Am I using a hash map? Am I using a new tree? What libraries can I call? All of this. You've immediately gone to extra abstraction layers. Instead, when you're thinking about problems, especially in APL, focus on directness of solution. Focus on just say the answer. Don't build a new abstraction to explain the answer. You just want the answer. Just do the answer. Just do it. And so what do the studies say? Well, as it turns out, this has been an understood concept in human computer interaction and usability design for a long time. The more mental engagement steps between the original thing with which you started and the solution path that you want to go to, the more mental involvement there is and the more difficult it is to engage in your problems. So don't do that. So how do we be more direct? Well, we've got another pattern. Idioms over libraries. So to explain this one, I'm going to call upon, you guys may know him, Donald Knuth. He's done a couple of things in computer science.  Instead, he wants you to have reeditable code. Code that you can take and reuse, yes. But not code you take and reuse carte blanche without ever being able to change anything you need to adapt to your unique situation. So APLers have their own take on this. And we do like our re-usable code. It's great. But don't tell us that we can't change it. We need to be able to reach into that library and change anything we want, whenever we want. Now, that doesn't mean we're going to do it. But the code needs to be accessible enough that we can do it if we need to. So for a really tiny, tiny micro example of this, here is an operation. It's sort of idiomatic. It's a well-known combination of the inner product and dot equals. And it allows you to take, say, a string and a set of other strings and compare that string against the other strings and find out where that string occurs in the vector of the matrix of strings or something like this. It's maybe not the most high-performance way of doing that. But it does express the desire pretty well. And you can imagine you probably have a library function to do this in your favorite programming language. Or maybe you use a map or something like this. You've got equality. Maybe you have to implement compares to for your string object. And then, you know, we're not going to talk about that. But can you then just say, oh, well, I actually want to just do equality over the prefix? So the APL are, oh, we just put that in there. All right. Maybe you've got your library. Maybe it's been genericized, genericated. I don't know. It's been made more generics. And so you can probably maybe replace the equals. Can you replace the and? Can you change that pattern? Can you maybe make it an outer product instead of an inner product pretty easily? Can you change the traversal pattern fairly easily? Can you still see the relationship of that function to the original function? What if I wanted to now instead of working over strings, what if I wanted to find subtrees inside of my AST of my compiler based on their parent-child relationships? Well, I didn't tell you, but this is actually what you can do. No change is necessary. But with a black box library abstraction, it might be extremely difficult to do something like that. So when you're working with your APL code, directness using idiomatic style tends to work. So now we have data over control flow. This is one that's, I think, a big favorite in the APL community. And the computer scientists generally see it like this. Why won't you, APL is just to use a stinking if statement. Where if statement could be anything. It could be pattern matching, branching, recursion, all that kind of stuff. And the problem is that control flow is unnatural and it's unnecessary. So let's look at an APL sentence. Now this looks scary, but let's read it. This is a compiler pass in my compiler. And we can read it as, from the AST, drop the nodes that appear at the top level or drop all the nodes whose top level parent appears in the top level and is not a binding node and is either an operator or a function. It's fairly straightforward description.  So it reads much like a sentence. But if you introduced a bunch of control flow and recursive patterns and depth first searches and everything like that, would you still read it as naturally? Would it still match the structure of your natural language as well? And moreover, this fits on a single line and I don't have to use any explicit looping or anything to do that. Instead, what I've done is I've encoded that logic that you would normally think of as a control flow as a Boolean expression using data. And you'll also notice that our macro versus micro question, it's really obvious what the core thing, at least if you know how to read APL, it's very obvious what the core operation is that we're doing. It might not be so obvious with your loops that what you're doing is eliminating nodes from the AST. So what did the studies say? People don't like to use control structures unless they're forced to. Now, another study or Galati convinced people to use control structures, but you know how they did it? They said it was a Martian.  Well, then they started putting in more control structures. But if they're talking to another human, that's not the natural way to do it. So actually for normal folks and normal studies, control structures in normal programming languages are almost by definition alien. So might I suggest perhaps that it's time for some common sense in our program? So let's look at the next pattern, structure over names. Now what does this actually mean? One way to say it, the APL function is its own name. And what do I mean by this? Well, we know the best practice. You've got to choose good variable names, right? Okay, what does a good variable name look like? Maybe this one's pretty good. I think this is a pretty universally accepted good variable name, right? In fact, I found this one while searching the problem on Stack Overflow. This was a recommended variable name by a well respected person on Stack Overflow. It came with a paragraph of Java docs and some other stuff, but I just extracted this piece out because we only need the minimal thing here. And you guys can kind of guess from this name what's happening, but do you know what algorithm they're doing? Do you know what the algorithmic complexity is? Do you know what your ranges are? Are they inclusive? Are they exclusive? I don't know. Well, we could just implement prime number generation in APL. Do the same thing. And this is the implementation. It's a well known ideal. Some people don't like it. It's quadratic, so we can see that obviously here. So maybe we want something more efficient, but this one is pretty clear. And if you're counting characters, this is one character less than the name that was suggested for the other programming language. But the APL will say, ah, this is a little too verbose. Why don't we just simplify it a little bit? And then, of course, we could implement a prime C that we want. That's a little more complicated, but we see what's happening and we can recognize that. And this is about using idiomatic style and structure to accomplish what we're after. And what that gives us is the ability to create better names that operate at the right level of abstraction. So rather than wasting names on things like temporary variables and places where it really doesn't help and where studies have shown it's cognitively problematic, we can put the names where they really matter, get better names, and that even allows us to get better structure. So we have this giant cycle of improvement where we get better names which give us better structure and it just keeps going. So what's in a name? Hopefully and potentially literally everything. And the studies bear this out because people don't tend to use variable names when they describe problems. They use something called contextual referencing where they use pronouns and other things to refer back or they use control flow through a linear control flow, so a data flow model in their language to allow ideas to percolate down in the instructions. And variables are a known problem for the beginner to deal with. And so you want instead to leverage good structure in your code in order to achieve a, what's the right term, achieve a regularity and a uniformity in your code that will allow you to see patterns without the need for variable names and keep your code closer together so that the distance between definition and call site are closer so that you can see what's happening more quickly and more readily. So let's look at our next principle, implicit over explicit. Now you'll notice that there's in all of the examples I've shown before there's a lot of implicit behavior. We've tried to avoid making certain things unnecessarily explicit. And to an APL we often leave things a little fuzzy. What this means is that we don't over specify the programs. And if you over specify that means you've constrained what can happen with that program. And normally that's a good thing, right? No, you're only allowed to use this in the correct way that we want you to use it. That way it's defensive programming and you're not going to get it accidentally used in some crazy way. But to the APL that misses the whole point. Suggestive generality means that we can take it and we don't over specify it. We might find that it works somewhere else. We might find that that is useful as an idea in another domain that we didn't realize. It allows us to make connections and see patterns. And I call this serendipitous transfer. And what it means is that we can use our programming source code to lead us to new knowledge and new information and new ways of looking at the problem. Whereas if we say we're restricting our ability to see how that code might apply somewhere else. Yes. Right. This is not intentional generality. This is not, oh, I'm going to start with a type class in Haskell. No, no. This is, I've written some code specifically to solve my problem but I'm not going to worry about forcing it to only work on my problem. I'm just going to let that all be more or less, I'm not bothering with it. I'm just going to let the generality fall out naturally. Yes. Yes. Yes. So what can happen is we can write this stuff and we can then take it and recognize that this is a special case of a more general pattern. And then we can continue to generalize it using, for example, the principle of suggestivity. That one more specific solution might suggest a more general pattern. Yeah. And I want to draw. Ah, here we go. So for example, we could have a plus slash over some variable with some function that we're applying to each on a vector. So this is a special solution that we might have come up with. And this works over vectors. But this, we would recognize this as a pattern in APL that we could have just written as V plus FV or something like this, right? And now that's automatically generalized to higher ranks of arrays in a reliable way. And so this suggestivity lets us sort of see that. And it's a form of using suggestivity to get to a general solution. And this general solution can then be really useful in other places. So plus dot times as matrix multiply can be really useful elsewhere. But then recognizing that maybe an or dot and plus will give us a lot of benefit. And so syntax over semantics is the last pattern here. And syntax over semantics ties it all together. Because APL is meant to be human centered. We're meant to be talking to people, explaining ideas to people. And yes, it's executable. But that should, that executability should come to the aid of the human rather than drive it. So we don't want to be reliant on the machine. We want to leverage the machine. But we want our notation to work to empower our mental capacity rather than offloading our mental capacity and expecting the machine to do the thinking for us. It's about putting things in their proper place. And part of this notationally is about focusing on how the code looks. So Roger gave me this example. This is what we call large precision, arbitrary precision multiplication. So big num multiplication or something like this. And inside of that, we have an FFT that we're doing. It uses butterfly. And Roger pointed out that this is a really beautiful kind of piece of code. Because we've got a recursive definition. You remember, we've got a recursive definition. But we don't have a base case that's taking up space. There's no explicit base case line that you would, you know, that's what you're taught in functional programming. The very first thing you learn is always put your base case in. But that clutters things up. And there's the beauty here is that there's a sort of syntactic regularity to this code. It's a uniform code. And I think Roger, you said there's something about it that's just like deeply satisfying or something like this, right? There's just something deeply satisfying about this kind of code. And part of that I would claim is that this doesn't have a base case. It doesn't need a base case even though it's recursive. And we achieve that using our operators and other things. And maybe you could call it a trick, but it's a trick that works a lot. And it allows us to achieve this sort of uniform visual representation and the way we can see the code has now changed. Our engagement with the code can shift. And that means aesthetics matter. And I really, I harp on this a lot. Because one way to do programming is to pound your specifications into the code and cover all your bases and everything like this. The other approach is to design something beautiful and let the beauty drive a solution. Or let the beauty encourage your mind to engage with the problem in a richer way. I actually would say when you're programming I prefer beauty over rigor. Because the beautiful code is more likely to last longer. People that see beautiful code are more likely to engage with it. And they're more likely to see it, think about it, ponder it, make changes, keep it maintained. It reduces your technical debt in the long term. Whereas if you're overly rigorous, now I'm not harping on rigor. Rigor is nice. But if you're rigorous in the sense of basically being too over detailed, constantly trying to build up these horrible, just get it to work kind of pieces of code that does everything to meet the spec. But you've ignored beauty and you've ignored anything else. You've just made sure it's stiff and rigid and it'll work. Rigidity comes back and haunts you in the form of technical debt. And then that technical debt accumulates and accumulates and then before you know it, you can't maintain your software anymore. And you don't want to maintain your software because it's so ugly that it gives you a headache every time you look at it. We don't want that. Instead we should design our processes, design everything we do the way we engage with them.  That could be directness, could be anything. For me, I like to do the aesthetical programming, which means I make my tools intentionally limited so that I'm not tempted to use machines to allow me to hide complexity. Instead, the complexity gets too much from my mind and then I'm forced to find a simpler way of solving the problem so that I can deal with it. Rather than hiding behind, say, a BDE with auto-complete. Hint. So, that means eliminate the need for your language features. Right? Find ways of making your language obsolete. Find ways of not needing to use multi-type dispatch. Finding ways of not needing to use a whole bunch of libraries. Find a way to not need to use genericity in the same way that you used to or not need the type system. That's a big one. If your code is so simple that you don't need a type system, great. Right? Because the type system only exists because you can't reason about your code. And one of the ways to do that is to optimize for rewrite. What does this mean? It means when you're thinking about designing your code, design it to be deleted. Design it so that you're not afraid at all to just scrap the whole thing. And you can only do that when you've understood the problem and designed the problem in such that you're not afraid to rewrite the whole thing. That means you need to have a simple architecture. It means you need to constantly be working to find ways of making sure that you're never afraid to delete a piece of code. And every time you have a piece of code that you don't understand that's critical, mission critical, is plugged into the rest of the system and you can't see somewhere. Suddenly now you've got code you're terrified to delete. And that increases your technical debt. It makes it all worse. And that leads us to this myth of readability. Because readability for most people is about comfort. It's about, can I feel comfortable about the code? It has nothing to do with reality, though. It has nothing to do with do you understand the semantics of your language and what's actually going on in your code? Can you really make a change? It's just, I feel like I know what's happening right here. That's not readability. I would suggest that we need to focus on comprehension. Not comfort.  So I say readability should be defined as the amount of money you're willing to bet that a change you make to the code, particularly large scale architectural changes will work the first time without fail, without fault, without error, without using any mechanical checking tools. No testing, no type system, no nothing. You're only allowed to read the code, suggest and make the change. You're not allowed to use your documentation. You're not allowed to use any of that. And see how confident you are in making that change. If you've designed your system right, you'll be a lot more confident than not. So how many people want to go look into a Java source package without your Java docs and no ID, no compiler, no nothing, and make a change to that Java object hierarchy? I didn't think so. But they break the code, right? And that's the point. And if you told them your year's salary is on the line, do you think they do that or do you think they might even potentially suggest they rewrite the code in something else? Yeah. So readability is about human engagement with your code, not mechanical engagement with your code. So let's do a quick review. Here are our patterns. And remember the take home here is that if you're going to do good APL, if you're going to learn how to think like an APL or make use of APL and make it really work where you can write those beautiful one-liners or you can really use it to be productive, you've got to forget everything you've been told and work on appreciating a new possibility. That means that you're never going to do something like this. There are times and places where this is important, right? These best practices exist for a reason. But because of what APL gives you as a notation, the value in it is that you've opened up possibilities now to make your life simpler and to solve problems more directly. So your abstraction, for instance, you know, sticking with your base layer abstraction, APL abstracting at your domain level where the problem actually is and not having to have a whole set of vocabulary, libraries, frameworks in between that to get the job done. And this goes back to our keynote talk today, right?  But if you can directly express your solution in a thing, in a model that allows you to actually understand that you're both closer to the problem and closer to the machine, and you better are able to solve the problem efficiently and work with it better. So finally I say, you can do this, actually. There is a path forward and you can really leverage this way of thinking in your work, you can use APL to good effect, but you have to recognize that to get the value out of APL you need to be ready to think about your problems differently. This is not just yet another way to do the same type of programming you've always been doing, and if you try to do that way, you'll write Python code in APL, that'll be, but it's not going to be satisfying. So you can find some links to my own research and work, a more verbose slide show that covers most of this, and you can try APL as well. Any questions? Right. So I'll go back to the syntax over semantics pattern. You can do math, and you can have the ideas in your head and think about the problems of math, but without the notation, it's really hard. So what you want to do is you want to get that way of thinking, but you want to use the notational power of APL to make that thinking possible. Because if you don't have that, if I took algebra away from you and then asked you to prove something about the commutativity of plus or proportionality on functions or something like that, if you only have English there, it's extremely difficult, but if you have the notation, it's a trivial middle school or high schooler problem, right? And you're thinking about it, it's the same concepts, it's the same thoughts, but you need both the right way of thinking about it and the notational mechanism to enable that way of thinking and encourage that way of thinking. That's one of the difficulties with trying to take APL and use it in another language, because it's not just the semantic ideas that make APL powerful. That's not how APLers get to where they go. It's a combination of the ideas and the fact that they have a notation which is optimized for the human mental process to interact with those ideas. So you have to have both to maximize that. Now that doesn't mean that people haven't had really good success with bringing, say, the data flow concept into other places. They do, but more and more, the more experience people get with those, the closer and closer those systems begin to resemble APL, if that makes any sense. Yeah, yes. Yes, it was you. Yes. It's a different position and a different place in the hierarchy of importance. Yeah, or another way of thinking is maybe we just shouldn't be loving ice cream. Maybe words that are important or mean something should be reserved for actually important concepts and not be wasted on the trivial ideas that can be better expressed some other way. So to translate that to some of the interesting issues, we have a tendency, there's a limited number of names that we can reasonably use. The increase in vocabulary becomes impossible to work with. That's why we have long variable names because we can't remember what they were. We have to try to read a sentence to describe what the idea was and we're just using the variable name to do that. And instead we waste so many variables with variable names. If we describe the problem in a concise way in English, we might use a pronoun, we might use a data flow model to track things to do this. If we used variable names in English the same way we use them in computer science, we'd never say anything. Right? And so we do use names. Proper names are really useful but proper names are useful because of their sparsity. There's so many things. If I started giving every third group of chairs in here a unique proper pronoun or proper name, we'd start to run into trouble. But we do in fact do that kind of thing in computer science all the time. And part of that is because our notations encourage it. Yes. I would say the nature of the language in the community has a strong social bias to encourage people to try to write a different type of code. The culture and the language will encourage, have a tendency to encourage a different style of programming. That doesn't mean you won't write bad code. It does mean that over time it will have that tendency will more likely feel bad to you. That would be my kind of... But it's... I don't think it's just the language, right? There's not this mechanical fix. What I'm suggesting is not a mechanical fix. It's to get back to the process that we are as humans and leverage the sort of humanity in programming. Not just try to turn ourselves into machines that are following a set of rules and then design our cages so that the machines never rebel, right? Interesting. So I like to say that I... There are two programming languages I like to use. Scheme and APL. I've been a schemer for like... I started scheming for like 10 years before I got into APL. Then I learned APL. I couldn't do APL and scheme. I could do any other language in scheme but not APL. So I started doing APL and using it for a bunch of problems and I'm ready to use scheme for any of the problems that APL doesn't seem to fit really well with. And I thought I had one and then it turned into my thesis where I demonstrated it wasn't actually true and APL was a great language for doing it. I'm wearing it. So the last bastion of other types of languages I... I figured out how to do really nicely so I haven't really been doing other languages since then because I haven't encountered a problem that doesn't just call out to be used for APL but that could just be my own psychosis. So any other questions? Yes. Yes. So good question. I began to get really tired when I had to write a scheme function. My muscles had atrophied I wasn't nearly so used to typing all the parentheses but to answer a little more clearly I became a lot more eager to leverage points free data flow oriented programming than I would have been before and I became very careful in my use of macros. So there's a problem in the scheme community that it's the language of least restriction. You can do basically everything in it without problem. The problem is that everybody does in fact invent their own little mini language to do whatever they want because it's so easy to do some tactic abstraction and that results in these isolated islands that it's very difficult to communicate between people even though you've solved the problem it's very difficult to communicate to another person what you've done before they understand the whole suite of sub languages you've just invented in order to solve the problem whereas in APL that uniformity of expression and that uniformity of common vocabulary and language means that I've come to appreciate that as a tool for getting work done between people a lot more than I did before. Yes Well did you have a... did that answer the question? Okay Yeah. The way for what? Your thought pattern for doing a scheme versus APL wildly different. So there's a reason that I'm using APL now instead of scheme it's because I couldn't do APL in scheme. If I could have done APL in scheme I wouldn't be using APL right now. But the reason I'm using APL is because there was something about the language that I couldn't transfer back and that's an important key is there's a an HCI component to this a usability component involved in the syntax and the notation and everything else and it's going to go back to other languages. You can translate other ideas back but that what I would call some of the big key components don't. So you can try to do APL in other languages and it's not going to end up being APL. Yes I think you... Yeah Yes, so for example these are principles of design but there are many different aesthetic expressions of this. So when you see Morton do his code does not look anything like the way I do my code. And part of that is because we work in different problem domains. So there's a unique aesthetic for any given thing, right? So when you're doing poetry your aesthetic is different than if you're writing an urban fantasy novel and if you're doing an urban fantasy novel that's different than if you're writing a history book, right? But there are common themes of what good writing is that cross all of those. And the problem is APL is so artistically expressive in terms of your aesthetics that you can't come up with a style guide in the way that you would a Java style guide. You can't come up with like K and RC. There are multiple styles and they're all equally valid for different types of uses. So sometimes you might use more names in one case or more less names or something depending on what is best for the human interaction. Yeah I'm a bad one to ask about that. Although I really do want to demonstrate how to do a bit bit stuff, yeah. Yes. And those do follow a strict pattern. Yes. Are there sort of steps to go through and exercises to work with? You read the classics basically. You read the APL and APL idiom list. You read other people's code. You play with project or you try to solve problems and you see how other people have done it and you can begin to approach something like that. I'm trying to give us a tiny bit more structure and provide a more structured solution but it's not fully there yet. Well, thanks very much.


Say my name so my powers will become yours. Shazam! I'm Celeste with CalTV Entertainment and I'm here with a one-minute movie review of Shazam. Shazam? Did it work? That's crazy, right? What are your superpowers? Superpowers, dude? I don't even know how to pee in this thing! If you came here for a straightforward and simple superhero movie, then let me tell you, this one's not for you. I'd like to purchase some of your finest beer, please. Like any good superhero movie, it had the unlikely hero, the dramatic villain, and the funny sidekick. But it also had backstory galore and lots of unique supporting characters. How old are you? Basically, 15. It had moments of serious drama, comedy, and cheesy scenes, including the classic montage of the superhero figuring out their powers with the help of their best friend. Super straight! Electricity manipulation! Overall, this movie has a lot to unpack, which will definitely keep you on your toes and the end comes with a creative twist that'll give you a breath of fresh air. I give it a 5 out of 5 lightning bolts and you should definitely go watch it instead of setting for your mid-term this week. Dude, did you see that? Yeah!  And then I caught it!