How do you be a better father? And if you're not yet a father, how do you be a great father when you ultimately become one? I Personally would love to to be a father. I have plans to be a father. I'd love to have two or three children Hasn't happened yet, but it will happen So I'm very much looking forward to today's Interview today. We're gonna be talking about three ways to be a better father and Three ways to be a great father if you're not one So to help us figure that out. We're talking to a fellow by the name of Larry Hagner from the good dad projects Which is a resource for helping men be the best versions of themselves whether they're a husband or whether they're a father Larry is the author of the best-selling book on Amazon called dad's edge Larry great to have you here. How you doing James Wanak? How are you doing so well doing so well? Thank you very much, and I know you have a podcast as well on this and which he co-hosts with Shawn Stevenson Who I've had on the podcast before who talks a lot about sleep. There's a sleep expert He's a good guy Shawn, isn't he? Oh, yeah. Yeah, and if you're a father sometimes We all need more sleep. So yeah, we all need resources of father. No doubt about it. Yeah So you I'm assuming then Larry that you must be a father. I Am a father. I'm actually expecting my fourth child. So and and then once you get to the fourth child You just don't get congratulated anymore. It's kind of like wow, that's crazy. What's wrong? What's wrong with you? So yeah, we're expecting our fourth boy actually in Yeah, four boys in a row, huh?  I think for her She's been dying to have a girl, but I don't know. I just don't think I make girls I think that's what you have very powerful sperm which Obviously my mother's the same. She had three boys. I'm the oldest of three boys. Okay, and so It's funny.   She's a woman. She loves it So I always make sure that at least once a year when I see her we go shopping And that's kind of like me acting like the daughter she never had, you know, there you go I'm right there with you though. I don't know many guys who absolutely love to shop And I'm definitely not one of them either So tell us a little bit about your story Larry you got your fourth kid on the way But you know what what inspired you to be a better father How did this all come about tell us your your personal story before we dig into these three ways to be a better father Yeah, sure. So the way I grew up I grew up in a pretty chaotic environment when it came to Fathers and father figures in my life My biological father my mother were divorced when I was about nine months old and after that I really didn't see him At all in fact, I remember being about four years old and my mom was still single And I remember, you know being a preschool and a lot of kids with their dads would come to pick them up And in my mind I was like, well, you know, I guess the mom's just kind of go out and find a dad You know, so my mom got remarried when I was five and it was it was actually a cool experience for a little while Unfortunately that relationship took a turn for for you know, it became pretty toxic. He was a big drinker and He was abusive, you know, kind of physically mentally and then when I was 10 he they got divorced and then Unfortunately, I never saw him again So an interesting thing happened when I was 12 and that was I actually ran into My biological father for the first time which was shocking, right? I mean it's shocking for him. It was shocking for me We had this brief relationship for a couple months and that just kind of fizzled out The time from when I was 12 to about 18 my mom went through several relationships kind of the same guy over and over again You know just kind of drinker and kind of toxic and so I think by the time I was like 16 years old I was just kind of done with the whole father figure thing. I was like, you know not having a good experience with this I'm not gonna have one this that's just gonna be that When I was 30 two things happened. So 10 years ago number one I became a father for the very first time and Number two, I ran into my biological father again. Wow. Yeah, it had been 20 years and it was a total fluke We're we're in a coffee shop here in St. Louis. He came walking through the door I knew who he was because I remembered him when I was 12. He hadn't changed very much but what happened was is we ended up connecting and We now I'm happy to say this has a happy ending here. We are 10 years later We've got a good relationship. I wouldn't say it's a dad-son relationship. It's more of a friendship But it's a good relationship. So basically the good dad project came from me Really wanting a guide because when I came when I first became a father I Had no idea what to do because I didn't have that model kind of growing up But I desperately wanted to know what to do But I knew what I didn't want to do because I kind of had an experience of that all through my childhood growing up Literally for about about five years ago. I think I literally became like kind of like this mole where I Saw it out any type of personal development I could on how to be a better father a better man a better individual Kind of funny thing is is how I met you which was at the Tony Robbins event last year So I kind of yeah, I mean I kind of geek out over that stuff anyway I love self-improvement and what I have found on this journey is that becoming a better man a byproduct of that is Absolutely becoming a better father and there are definitely Pain points and there are struggles that all of us dads go through and I'll give you an example of what I mean by that Being a father can be very rewarding, but it can also be very humbling at the same time I know you for instance, you have a background in Broadcasting you are an ESPN and all that right. Yeah. Yeah, so and since you don't have kids yet I'll give you a kind of a crash course on what it feels like to be a father Yeah, so I want you to imagine for a second, you know you being on ESPN Never having one tiny bit of training whatsoever on how to be a good communicator a good broadcaster You know training your voice literally ESPN calls you and they're like hey go start broadcasting go do it You'd be frustrated humbled You know you kind of you probably stumble your way through it to be it would it would be very humbling experience That's exactly the way being a father is I mean there's very little resources and training out there for us and when you are father It's kind of like here you go now. You're a dad go do it go figure it out and it can be frustrating for us. Yeah Yeah, I actually when I auditioned for ESPN. I didn't have any training. So I know what oh my gosh Yeah, baptism by fire. It's pretty pretty scary stuff So now you have a good relationship with your father. That's true. That's terrific. That's amazing That's such a great a great ending to the story So you did all this research and But I would imagine that even having done all the research It still doesn't prepare you for that day when you actually take your child home for the first time, right? It's like oh my god now. I've got a human being. I've got to take care of right No, it's definitely still learning on the job. I mean, it's it's constant learning But it's what I've found is is that there there are definitely pain points and struggles from men that we simply just don't talk about And I think one of the things one of the platforms really That the good dad project really offers these guys is it is a platform It's it's a way to talk about these challenges and these struggles openly And and just be better at it So I mean, I think that's one of the things that we've really we've really given these guys as more of a roadmap and A strategy of how to be better in in all aspects of your fatherhood journey. Okay, so let's get into this then Let's talk about these pain points for men and then these three ways to be a better father Should we deal with the pain points first and then go into the three ways or do we just the three ways part of the pain points? Yeah, I mean we can I can just talk about each one of them So I mean, I've been doing this now the good dad project for three years. I've had an opportunity to interact and coach Several different men. I've I also do speaking events. I've done several speaking events And what I found is is a lot of men a lot of fathers really have Very similar struggles that we simply do not talk about out loud and one of one struggle in particular I mean the book that I just wrote goes over nine, but one in particular. There's one thing that all fathers Struggle with most and they want more of it and I bet you can maybe guess what that is Let's have a look here What is it that they want they want they want a better relationship with their with their spouse as they're raising the child They want more connection. They want more sleep Yeah, they definitely want all those things but one thing in particular that I always hear every time I have a Coaching session a workshop or whatever it is Men want more patience They definitely want more patience and what I mean by that is but there's two types of patience that we as men It doesn't matter if you're a father or not because we all go through them one of the one of the things that we go through is internal patience and External patience and what I mean by that is so you have external factors that can literally challenge your day all day long and You know, you've got deadlines. You've got emails You've got people needing something from you every minute of every day in your job and it can be very demanding it can be very defeating and so that can challenge you from an outside perspective the Other form of patience that we as fathers go through and men too is the internal dialogue patience So what I mean by that is it's the voice that says why can't you handle this? You should be stronger than this. What's wrong with you? Those types of you know voices that literally just yammer away at our self-confidence So the book that I wrote really dives into how to manage, you know, those two aspects of your life when it comes to patience Okay, so it's the inner voice saying why can't you handle this? Why aren't you enough? Why aren't you more on top of this? And so it's so so men and fathers in particular I guess they're juggling their work the juggling the keeping their their wife or partner happy and they're raising a child at the same time There's a lot of stress involved There's a lot of stress involved and so more patience then is a pain point. Is there a cure for that? Is there a way on how we fix that? There's absolutely a way you can fix it and you're exactly right as you hit it right on the head as men and fathers We juggle so much so much, you know, we try to keep that connection with our spouse We try to keep a connection with our kids. We try to have patience, which ultimately we just want to enjoy The journey of fatherhood, but sometimes we just don't know how to do it one way To absolutely give yourself more patience is Taking time for self-care in other words doing something for yourself, whether that's for your health For your well-being, you know listening to a positive podcast reading something inspiring from a book Challenging challenging yourself to grow more and more on a daily basis though.  What did you do like five minutes before you went on on TV? Yeah, well, I mean I was Most of the time it was just getting mentally prepared for it. I was going over my notes getting into the zone It's like when I go and speak on the stage It's like I changed my state so like am I a powerful person right?  I'll give you an example Most men and I was the exact same way and the reason I can speak to this stuff is because I suffered through it just terribly Most men what we do from nine to five isn't necessarily our passion Sometimes we kind of struggle through it. We work hard, you know, and then we get home and we're just kind of like we're just done So what most men do is from the time they get out of their car and walk in the front door There is no prep. There is no proactive thinking. What am I gonna do? How am I gonna do it? there's just walking through the door and Usually and you'll find this out James too is when you walk into the door with three kids I know you said you wanted two or three It's madness. It's chaos.  They're seven. It's loud It's crazy and a lot of times we as men we just came from a chaotic environment at work And now we're just stepping right back into another chaotic environment, which all we want is kind of a sanctuary So here's what I tell men to work on their patients muscle when you are on your way home from work What you'll want to do is take at least a few minutes to get your mind Right get your mind in that same state you were talking about before you get on stage before you were Being broadcasted you get in that same state and how do you do that? Put on some powerful empowering music something that will get you in the mindset put on a podcast Maybe that's inspiring or like an audiobook that's inspiring Something that is going to break the pattern of that defeated thought and where you basically feel like you have no patience Another strategy that you can do is there are some days. I'll be honest with you That just doesn't work because you're just defeated. You're exhausted a lot going on So sometimes you absolutely have to bring the happiness and and the good feelings that you want to experience And what I mean by that is at times, you know, I'll turn on a positive podcast or some music and I'm like man God just not working today. I don't know what I need to do So this is what I'll do and I've seen this work for several other men, too I'll walk in my door. I'll high five all my kids I'll throw one up over my shoulder twist morale dip my wife down give her a kiss in the back of my mind I'm like, this is kind of corny But you know what it works and everybody's laughing and there's something to be said about momentum When you start an evening like that when you just take a few minutes to prep that hey I'm gonna do this it just makes the entire evening completely different when you talk about Wear and tear on your patience and your personality Something like that, you know that can just get everybody in a different state Not just you is so empowering and it makes the entire evening totally different Okay, very good. All right. I like that. So more patience Take more time for self-care listen to a positive pet podcast be proactive in your mindset Just plan before you get home from work take a few minutes to get your mind right and then break the pattern of the negative thought Okay, so what's the second pain point for men and and the second way on how to be a better father Larry? I mean part of being a better father is Having a good relationship with either your spouse or your significant other or whatever that looks like it Whether you're single or married Having those positive relationships in your life when you become a father and you're a working father Man, I mean you were just stretched your you're stretched thin on time obligations Everything going on so a lot of times what we do is men and we don't mean to do it Is we kind of lose that connection we kind of lose that intimacy, you know with our spouse And once you've lost it it's very very hard to get back And one of the things that that I've done in the book is that I give guys just three simple strategies in the book and they're so simple and if we did them pretty much on a daily monthly basis, I mean Relationships would probably be infinitely better and the reason I say this is because I Again, I struggled through it. There were times in my marriage. I mean I've been married for 12 years But I just sort of was on automatic pilot and I wasn't feeding that relationship And what I've really learned over the past few years is how to feed that relationship and do it very simply And if you want I can definitely share that with you. Yeah, go for it.  That's not a connection You're simply in the same space, but you're not connecting one of the things that my wife and I do and I've been able to interact with other dads who have implemented this and it's worked wonders is We take 10 minutes before bed. We turn off phones We turn off iPads we turn off the TV and we just have a conversation We ask each other open-ended questions of how the day was what we did Challenges and we really really connect what I can tell you is that don't try to do something like this over dinner If you have kids, it's impossible and it'll be nothing but frustrating So once you have that connection, you know, usually it doesn't it's not 10 minutes Usually turns into 15 minutes or 20 minutes and you know what at times it even turns into sex And why shouldn't it because if two people have that connection Then the intimacy is going to be there and you'd be shocked at just just giving each other the gift of 10 minutes Undistracted works wonders for a relationship. I've got I've got two more. Okay. Go for it The other one is believe it or not So have what I call in the book a non-negotiable Monthly date night where you literally if you ask most married couples This is what you'd be like. Hey, you know was the last time you guys went on a date night And sometimes they'll look at each other and be like, oh gosh, what year is it? So, you know, it's it's probably been a while So one of the things that you want to do is schedule a monthly date night Like literally three months in advance And if you've got little kids sit down with your calendar with your wife Spouse significant other and pick out what those date nights are going to be and then book the babysitters And what I've called those in the book is non-negotiable date nights There's no calling in once it's on the calendar and the babysitters are booked There is no negotiation. There's no backing out. It absolutely has to happen Couple rules for the monthly date night. It has to be something Interactive, you know, absolutely. Don't go to a movie. Don't go to a movie because again, all you're doing is Existing and sitting in the same space Don't go to a concert because you can't connect do something where you can interact I mean my wife and I like to do something as simple as is just having dinner together outside Outside the house, which is it gives us an opportunity to connect without the distraction of kids You know, and and that just feeds the relationship unbelievably and again, it's so simple And I've got one more and another one. It's kind of captain obvious So the last one is when she speaks Be there And what I mean by that is When she's talking to you we as men we like to multitask and And try to do several things at once, you know at once and I'm I'm no different than that but when she talks part of you know, and you know this I don't have to tell you this but The way a woman gets emotionally connected and intimate with you is by that verbal connection So when she talks Absolutely dial in put your phones down And just listen to her interact with her be very very present engage with her Nothing will turn a woman off more than if you absolutely tune out while she's talking So those are three strategies for connection. Yeah, it's funny, you know I went with just talking about relate my relationship with women I used to want to solve a woman's problems a lot. It was like they come down And I would be like, oh, I'm the man. I'm logical. I got the solution Yeah, love me when I give it this solution and I was just getting like Bad attitude in return. I was like, what the hell is going on here? I've just solved her problem Right, it'll be a few years to realize that we'll actually to be told by many Experts and then practice it that women for the most part Don't want you to solve their problems. They just want you to listen to them. They just want to listen They want to feel like You share their pain, but you know understand and appreciate their pain, which of course I I do But my way of appreciating it or understanding their struggle was to try and solve it But in actual fact, you're serving A woman more at least from what I found by just shutting the hell up and just saying things like I'm sorry That's so bad. That must be awful. Like but not saying it like in a trivial way like you're not really sorry Like you're genuinely feeling her frustration and pain and sympathizing that is 10 times more powerful than actually if you go Well, you know what honey? This is how you should stop that or you know what? Let's try this That will eventually come the solution will eventually come but in that moment She just wants you to Feel her pain and and and her struggle if you like So um, so yeah, well well said on there. Okay, so the the second point there then larry was Have a good relationship with your significant other take time to have a daily connection turn off the electronics Schedule a non-negotiable date night. Make sure it's interactive and when she speaks just make sure that you listen Okay, let's move along. We're on the third The third pain point for men now and how To be a better father Yeah, so and and that's exactly what the third thing is all about so again in the book I go over nine but these are like the three biggest and The third one is really a connection With your kids and the thing is is we as men You know, we really sometimes aren't wired the best. It's not our fault We aren't really wired the best to maybe communicate with like a seven-year-old a nine-year-old a 13-year-old a 16-year-old You know and those those times can be very very challenging sometimes We as men we want to connect. We just don't know how I'll I'll share actually an interesting study with you That was done here recently that just I mean gives dads all kinds of props So real quick in 1965 there was a study done Of 1965 dads and how much time they actually spent with their kids on a weekly basis And what they found was is in the u.s For the most part in 1965 dads spent about two and a half hours with their kids per week So, you know, nothing against that generation. They were more the providers, you know, they worked a lot So there was there's a lot of demands on their time Now in 2010 a very similar study was done and they looked at dads today And what they found is is after polling dads is they actually spend 7.8 hours Per week with their kids. So that time is actually tripled for what I call the modern dad Here's the other cool part. They asked the same group of dads in 2010 Do you think you spent enough time with your kids or do you want more time and 48 percent of those dads said I actually don't think I spent enough time. I want more time So what we're really seeing is is in the for the modern dad is Not only do they spend more time with their kids, but they have a desire to spend more time with their kids Which is so cool. So it's like, you know props to the uh to the modern father So One of the ways One of the challenges that men are faced with is like, you know, I want this connection with my kid Like I really want a good deep emotional, you know connection with my kid I just how do you do that? Like, I don't know, you know, give me a guide and let me help me figure that out So what you can do very similarly with your wife is Have a daily connection with your kids And what I mean by that is it's the same thing take 10 minutes of undistracted time With your kids and a lot of times if you have more than one kid, which most of us do that is extremely hard So one of the things that that we do for example in our house is I'll take 10 minutes with each kid As I put him down to bed And what I'll do in that 10 minutes is again, there's no phones, you know, there's no iPads We're not playing video games It's it's one on one time where I can actually have a good conversation Where guys tend to struggle a little bit too is like, well, what do I ask like a seven year old? Or what do I ask my teenager like I don't know Um, one of the things you can do is simply just as you prep, you know for a phenomenal evening and more patient patients You have to prep Good questions for your kids. And what I mean by that is ask open-ended questions Get out of the comfort zone of how was school? Did you study for that test?  What you're going to find when you ask questions like that is A dialogue that you probably You probably can't believe how great it is because that kid no matter what age they are They're going to open up to you and if they're at that age where they're maybe not going to open up to you That's a cue to ask more questions Maybe better questions But I always try to prep at least two to three questions to my kids every night to have that interaction So that's daily Yeah, it's funny, you know, I I had a bit of a strained relationship with my Father when I was in my teens at school and I always remember he would come home From work. He was a veterinarian. He'd get home around about 7 p.m. Every night and we were me and my two younger brothers were in the tv room downstairs invariably watching tv and he would come home And he would stand at the top of the stairs overlooking the living room and he'd say Hello And we'd all be like Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello. Hello, and then you'd say how was school how was school? Yeah Yeah, yeah, it was fine fine And then he would like kind of like look at us and like just sigh and then turn around and walk back in and and That was the end of it So that was like that was like the correspondence or the communication that I had with my father And I was only in later years that I realized Um, what a poor question he was asking, you know And this is not to criticize my father, but it's just you know, I was a pretty crap Son to my father to be honest. We have an amazing relationship now He's a wonderful wonderful man and he spent time with me and we really connect now. It's terrific But in later years as I've sort of done a lot of self-development work If you like and I've become quite well read compared to previous years I've learned the power of questions and as a journalist Whose job it has been to ask people questions and as a sports center anchor and my job is to ask Athletes who never want to give anything away other than well, we just got to take each game as they come and you know One game at a time My job is to really ask a question that can extract an amazing answer Right when I was interviewing Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise when I was a Hollywood correspondent Uh, my job was to ask open-ended questions that got amazing answers because with those amazing answers you got an amazing interview so um Better question like you said here's an example that I like to use which I actually Suggested to my friend Mark Rutherford over in north wales when I was visiting him there about three or four weeks ago because He has a few children and he asked the you know, he asked his um his son at the dinner table, you know You know how a school today and he went oh, yeah fine And later on I said to mark. Hey, why don't you ask him this question tomorrow night? And he said what is it? He said why don't you ask him say what did you look? What did you try and fail at school today? What did you try and fail at school today? And he was very skeptical So the next day the next time at the dinner table and he goes Okay, so what did you try and fail at school today? And I was like, please let this kid answer Please let my point be proven here And he literally paused and thought about it and he said And this kid's um, I think he's seven or eight And he said well, I was we were painting and I drew a green plane Against the green background of the of the thing and so you couldn't really see And he laughed and giggled and yeah mark was like, oh my god, it works Now is that does that give tremendous insight into his day at work? Well kind of because now he realizes that he did painting at school today Now he realized that his son actually learned You know a skill what the skill is I don't I don't quite know but the point I'm trying to make is that um That if you said how was school today the kid would say fine But instead he asked a question that got him to say what did you try and fail today? Well, I tried to draw a plane But I drew it on it was in the same color as the background and blah blah blah So what have you learned from that? Well, you've learned that he's done painting You've learned that your son's trying you learned that the son Now can process an open-ended question and give a a given answer And so that just opens up the lines of communication. So I agree with you you have to ask The right questions. Um, Todd Herman who I had on the show here. He coaches Olympic athletes and peak. He's a peak performance coach He taught me a couple years ago when I when I when I did the alpha male club podcast Which was what the James Wanick show podcast used to be called. He said If you want to achieve anything in life become a master questioner Ask yourself like don't ask yourself. Why is this situation happening to me? Ask yourself. How am I going to get out of this situation? Who am I going to call? What am I going to do? When am I going to do it and when you become a master question? All of these amazing answers just present themselves Asking your child how was school today is a recipe for very poor communication And I don't say that like as if I know kids so well because I don't have children But I know it from the point of view of I've interviewed Celebrities I've interviewed athletes. I've interviewed mum and dad on the street Like I know like it's infuriating when you ask a question Which only requires a yes or no answer or a fine or okay answer So you must ask open-ended questions all the time to really have true connection with anyone in your life Whether it's your kids your spouse your friends your colleagues your boss whatever I'm stealing that by the way if you don't mind Go for it. I love that question. I mean, I think I think you I mean you just hit that point home so well I mean and obviously with your background I mean, you know that probably better than anybody and the thing is is a lot of times the quality of our answers Truly depends on the quality of our questions that we're asking So if that's what I'm saying if you can just take a few moments To prep, you know prep for those good good questions, you know the good open-ended questions That's going to allow so much more of a quality conversation and so much more of a connection And that's what it's all about. That's what you really want is that connection So yeah, absolutely. I love that All right, nice one. Well, there you go. There were three pain points for men and three ways for you to be A better father. Let's just go over them and review them. Shall we larry is before we wrap this up? We're talking to larry haggner who is The author of the dad's edge which you can grab on On on amazon is also the creator of the good dad project. So the three ways were Men obviously want more patience So the the first way on how to be a better father is to take more time for yourself For self-care listen to something positive be proactive in your mindset Plan for when you get home from work Get your mind right put on powerful music break the pattern of any negative thought and then go in there and be positive and take action the second Tip for being a great father is to have a great relationship with your significant other Whether that is Your wife or your girlfriend or if you're in a gay relationship with your partner if you're raising children together Take time to have a daily connection with your partner. Don't be on the phone or watching tv Take 10 minutes before bed to turn off electronics. Have a conversation. Ask each other open-ended questions connect Schedule a non-negotiable date night, but make sure that that date night is something interactive Don't go to a movie or concert Make sure it's something like a dinner or pot pot. I don't know going for a walk Whatever it is that you can talk and communicate um And then when your partner speaks listen really listen really connect She will appreciate it Uh or your partner will appreciate it and then the third tip is have a daily connection with your kids apparently today We're spending three times more time as we were back in the 60s. Just keep doing it But make sure that you have undistracted time with your kids. Okay And ask yourself open-ended questions become a master Questioner Questions like what did you try and fail at school today? What did you learn at school today is better than how was school today? That's what we mean by an open-ended question become a master questioner and when you do the communication Just starts to open up so much more All right, well Larry, thank you so much mate. I appreciate appreciate that Very insightful Where can uh, where can our viewer or listener find more about you? So yeah, number one. Thanks for having me on. I really appreciate it Hey, I actually learned a little bit here myself. You know, maybe I need to get better at asking better questions So maybe I should just be a father.  I gotta tell you. Is there any women out there who would like to be the mother of my You can send all resumes to Jill swanick and uh, brisbane queensland australia She takes a very keen interest in my single singlehood at the moment Larry You're a woman listening to me right now and you would like to procreate with me Reach out to me send me a send me a message on twitter right now and tell me yeah, james I'm up for it and I'll I'll forward that on to my mother. She'll be thrilled You can follow me on the instagram as well and check out my youtube channel. Sorry Larry go ahead. No, that's okay It's awesome. Um, so where you can find me is good dad project dot com That's where you'll find our podcast. Uh, my co-host is uh, Sean Stevenson from the model health show Sean and I have been friends for the past three years Um, so you can find that podcast there as well You also find a ton of free resources on our site on how to connect with your spouse How to connect with your kids some of the things we just went over today how to improve your overall health Uh, you can also find me on instagram good dad project twitter good dad project You can also find me on facebook I think we have a good dad project page on facebook as well So and on itunes, of course, you can find the uh good dad project uh podcast as well stitcher Very nice. Very good. Very good. Shout out if you're on those social medias, just follow Larry now Follow me on instagram james swanick. My youtube channel is james swanick. My twitter is james swanick Everything is james swanick, but send us a message now to both Larry and me and just tell us one lesson Or one tip that you got out of out of today's thing We'd love to hear from you and we'll make sure that we retweet you and if you comment Now photo on my instagram or ask me a question. I'll be sure to answer your question on instagram Larry This has been great. Thank you very much. You've inspired me to go out there and you know Try and find Try and find the right woman. Yeah taking applications Now man, it's been a pleasure if anything. Hey, I got some good lessons out of here, too Which is I probably need to get better at my questioning. So I love that All right, Larry. Well, great talking to you. Thank you so much to you the listener and the viewer as well And we'll catch you on the next one. All right sounds good


Today we're going to be talking about 10 free things to do in Edinburgh, Scotland. If you do not know, I make videos about my study abroad experience for the year in Edinburgh, Scotland. Edinburgh is such a cool city and the thing that I love about it is that it is super student friendly and there are so many free things to do there that you never would expect and things that are just like so cool and fun to see. So these are in no particular order. Number one is going to be Greyfriars Kirkyard. I'm obsessed with Harry Potter and if you do not know Edinburgh is the city where JK Rowling wrote the Harry Potter books and there is so much inspiration that was actually pulled from the city itself. So if you're unaware she used to go to this graveyard called Greyfriars Kirkyard. It was then she realized that no one had ever sounded more American in their whole life. So it's this big graveyard and it's on a hill because most of Edinburgh is sort of like it's a hilly area and the city is sort of built on hills which sometimes makes it difficult to get around because all of a sudden you'll be like oh it's a you know it's only a block away but like the block goes like this so it takes you so much longer because you're out of shape.  There is so much to see. Also I love a spooky graveyard. I go to school in Charleston, South Carolina which is the which is one of the capitals of the U.S. for ghost tours and cemetery tours and so I just love the vibes of an old graveyard. I think it's just like a really quiet place like that can be very reflective so I love just like walking around here anytime. It's just if I pass it I'm like let's just like go say hi to everybody. Maybe not in that way. In Greyfriars' Courtyard you can actually see names that J.K. Rowling took for the Harry Potter books. Yeah a couple of the ones that I know you can see is Moody. Tom Riddle's grave is there. He didn't do anything. He's just like a guy. She just like took his name and then I know you can see McGonagall's grave so she did take inspiration and then actually there's a school that is behind the Courtyard which you can't really like go to the school because it's like an operating school but apparently it's a school that she based Hogwarts off of and it faces Edinburgh Castle and it's just a really cool place to go stand and look around so those are some some hot tips and it's completely free. Number two is going to be Arthur's Seat so if you've ever looked up Edinburgh Scotland at all this is the first thing that should kind of come up. It's in like every single photo.  It's kind of like a mountain but it's a lot smaller than a mountain because it's it's like a hill kind of but it's a very very large hill and there are so many different paths you can take. I walk up it all the time and if you go at the right time I literally see rainbows here all the time. It's incredibly magical. You can see all of Edinburgh from the top of it. Highly recommend. Number three is going to be the Royal Mile. So the Royal Mile runs between Edinburgh Castle and Hollywood Palace and it it just goes down a hill. Edinburgh Castle being at the top and then Hollywood Palace being down at the bottom and it's a mile and there's just so many cool buildings. Old buildings. There's always like some guy playing the bagpipes. You can stop and get gelata which is what I did too often. There's a lot of good gelata places along there. There are a lot of like touristy shops on this street too but there are a lot of other cool like churches and pubs and historic places that you can see while you're walking up it and it's just it is a very cool thing to see especially if you're like me and you're an American and you're not used to seeing buildings from like the 14th century. It's just wild or maybe even before that. I don't I don't know. Number four is going to be the Botanical Gardens. You can take the bus here. It's going to be a little bit further out of your way. I walked here. It probably took me about an hour from where I live and I live completely on the other side like way closer to like Arthur's seat. So it took me probably like an hour or so to get there but I also stopped a lot. Just a really beautiful place to go. I want to go back. There are Japanese gardens. There are just like old oak trees. There are like community gardens in there. There's so many different there's so many different things to see. I went only one time and I went in the fall but I do want to go back. I went to the Botanical Gardens in like the peak of fall so it was just covered in like beautiful autumn leaves and it was just a very very nice day. It was very peaceful. So number five is going to be free tours. Yeah, you heard me right. It's free. I was actually deeply surprised because I am like technically a business major in college and an arts manager major and I heard that and I was like that's a bad business model. Anyway it is not.   It is nice to tip but they do run free tours and the tour guides are really really nice people. I went on a free Harry Potter tour and a free ghost tour but I think there's also a free historical tour and I want to take that one as well. So I think it is very nice to tip your tour guide because they do put in a lot of work so technically it's not like free free but definitely a very cool thing because if you're somebody who doesn't have like a super high income or you're a student it doesn't have to be like a 35 you know dollar tour or however many thousands pounds I don't know. So yeah and you can take a lot of them. Number six is going to be the National Gallery and the National Museum. So the National Museum in Scotland is so cool. It reminds me of just like a Smithsonian type of thing in DC where I'm from. It just covers like a lot of the history and categories of Scotland like they have rooms on fashion, technology, science which I actually didn't know that Dolly the cloned lamb is actually Scottish. I had no idea because I feel like we all learned about that in school but I had no idea that that was in Scotland. So see I learned something new and the buildings are just absolutely breathtaking and beautiful. The National Gallery I actually I really loved this museum. I think that it's very very cool because you go in and they have explanations about like the time period of the art and kind of what it means and where it came from which I find very helpful as someone who didn't know that much about art history. I did take art history last semester so like I know a little more but not much still so because I'm not doing that again. Number eight is going to be wandering to some churches. I love doing this. So there is like St Giles Cathedral you can go into. There is the Greyfriars Curcuree Church. There's literally a church every other foot like there's so many churches and the architecture is just so cool. I just love like going and like taking a peek and like I love it when like there's like something going on. We did this in London too and it there was like a church cat and we got to see the church cat and that was just a very exciting moment for me because it was just it was just giving me cat vibes and we had seen Phantom of the Opera that weekend which is like my favorite show ever alongside cats which yes is a controversial opinion but it I love that show and anyway I was just very excited that I saw a church cat because it's like a fun like category of cat that is in London. So number eight is going to be Dean Village. So this is just a place that you can walk. Yeah so it's a former village immediately northwest of the city center in Edinburgh Scotland and I will just show you some videos of it. There's like a little river that runs through and it's just like this really cool architecture. You can always see somebody like taking photographs in this part because it is just so picturesque. It is such a lovely place to walk and just go explore for the day and I highly recommend it. Number nine is going to be Princess Street Garden. So you've seen the movie Eurovision. There's like the scene where Will Ferrell is like yelling at a bunch of Americans like by fountain and Edinburgh Castle is in the background and when I got to Scotland I was like where is this? I don't know what this is and so it took me a while that I figured out that it was actually this place called Princess Street Garden. So there's this huge garden behind Edinburgh Castle where you get like this just incredible view of the castle and there's this big fountain where Will Ferrell was crying and I just loved it. You can walk around it. There's like little vendors I think. When I was there they were they were setting up for like some sort of like wedding or something. I don't even know but I just honestly when you get to Scotland if you've never been anywhere like Scotland or Edinburgh before seeing the castle up on the hill is just it literally never gets old. It is the wildest thing I have just ever seen. I feel like I'm looking up at Hogwarts every time that I look up and I'm that tourist every time where I'm like taking my camera and I'm like I don't know how many pictures that I need of this castle but like it's a lot apparently. So number 10 is going to be a mixture of like two outdoor areas. So it's going to be the Meadows and Caulton Hill. So starting with Caulton Hill we love a hill in Scotland but on top of Caulton Hill there's this there's always people picnicking up there. Having a drink because that's another thing you can do in Scotland is you can just like have a drink wherever.  And there's this big thing that kind of looks like the Parthenon-ish vibes and I did have to google that because I was calling at the Coliseum a minute ago. But yeah just a very cool place to like check out the sunset, see her, you know. And then the Meadows is another like outdoor space and it's just a very large park and there's lots of trees and it's always in my videos because I walk through it all the time. It's right by the college and it's just like such a pretty place. There's always dogs running around. There's always bikers and people walking. There's this man that sings songs in like this little alleyway. In the winter time I think he goes away but I'm really I'm so excited for him to come back. All right so that is gonna be it for the 10 things for free that you can see in Edinburgh Scotland and honestly outside of like the label of free all these things are just really cool to see in Scotland in general. So I really I highly recommend all of them. They really do live up to the hype. I hope that I hyped them up enough because sometimes I can be a little deadpan in my delivery. Anyway if you liked this video give it a like, subscribe because I'm gonna post more videos about Edinburgh and what I'm doing there. Some vlogs but then also like some more informative videos like for students who want to come or and other people like this is just for people so shout out to people.


The vulnerable parent, having a baby has always and should be a blessing for any family, however, this is not always the case. There are many reasons why a child may be born with complications. We're going to split them into sections. Prenatal. There are situations that babies are born with birth defects that may or may not have been detected from the postnatal stage. For example, Down syndrome. Down syndrome can be detected before the baby is born. And on discovery, parents have the right to determine if they wish to proceed with the birth or not. Delivery. Many times we find that the hospitals have been negligent during delivery. But nothing is done about it because Nigeria is a sort of situation whereby parents are not open to discuss about things of delivery or negligence. Our electricity situation does not help as there are many times children are born prematurely, but they cannot survive due to the fact that the hospital is not well equipped to provide this delicate service. Postnatal. In most countries, developmental surveillance is the norm. This is a process that helps identify children born at risk for neurodevelopmental disorders. These services are not widely available in hospitals in Nigeria. So children that would normally have a fighting chance of proper development are left to fall through the cracks. Research has also shown that children born through IVF and multiple births have a high risk of having developmental concerns. Solution. Developmental surveillance is the best way to identify children that are born with developmental risks as some children actually develop and meet all developmental milestones, but at the age of two start to lose these developmental skills. This is a form of neurodevelopmental disorder called Child Disintegration Disorder, now also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder. Let us be a voice for our children and insist that the Federal Ministry of Health makes a compository for every hospital to have a developmental surveillance program so that every Nigerian child born would have the opportunity to be able to preserve and have the right to quality life despite the fact that they may have been born with several disabilities. This is the only way that we can provide a healthier and more resourceful nation where children are detected on time so that they can have the opportunity to have early intervention. Do you guys have children? No. Okay, so this is education for you guys expecting children. So what is your take on that? Yeah, my opinion, the awareness needs to, we need to intensify on the orientation because, you know, before now, before the advent of a blood group genotype, you know, all those stereotypes of saying in Yoruba land where they call it a biku, where people die and come back and stuff like that. But science has actually proven it that it is the genotype where you have people having SS and they die too. SS, syndromes and what have you and people believe that it's probably fetish or taboos. So in reality, if we have orientation, I believe we should be able to manage situations like this. Like you said, this is an education for me first. A lot of things that you mentioned are new to me as well. But I am aware of, and like you mentioned as well, I think awareness is important because someone like me who would pride myself to be an educated person has a limited knowledge in this. And really that's because maybe partly because I am yet to have a child. But I guess that even before one gets to have a child, such kind of education is important. You made mention of the fact that, I mean, what struck me was when you said that some children get developed up until the age of two and then afterwards begin to have Down syndrome. I was shocked by such because in my head, every parent would have thought, okay, once my child gets to a certain age, I think I'm good. I'm fine. So every of those necessary care that needs to have been done or monitoring that needs to have been done on that child or those children would not be done because they really are not aware that they should be done. So I think we need to begin to intensify these conversations and not just within a selected circle.  I tend to have a member of my family that is autistic, actually, yes, and looking at his development versus the development of every other person that was born at the same time he was born. It sort of saddens my heart because I realized that he really, it's not his fault. He didn't cause it, right? But he's had to suffer for something that he could not really do anything about. So every of his mates are, I mean, he would be 25 now. So every of his mates are doing well in life or people that, I mean, his circle of people are doing well in life for themselves, but he's still having to struggle. Sometimes at some point he even had some relapses and regressions, so it really affected him. And I also guess conversations around that as well needs to happen because some parents, once they have autistic children, really do not know what to do. So they just feel like, okay, maybe if I just pray, I mean, you can pray, no doubt. Or they just feel like, oh, if I just treat him well, I'll be fine. But really that's knowledge that's being there. You see, the thing about it is that we've had so many campaigns, campaigns for autism, campaigns for this, campaigns for that, but you see early intervention. You know, when you ask someone, what's early intervention? They said early intervention is the key. So what is the key? Eh, it's early intervention. But they fail to realize that early intervention is detection. Where you detect on time. You know, I've seen situations whereby children are detected from the cradle. And they do well. And we also have to appreciate the fact that people ask me, why is it so much? Why are we seeing so many children with developmental issues? I tell them that before mother nature naturally would expel these children on their own. They can naturally be expelled. But science has found a way to preserve them. So when you see a doctor say, oh, the child survived at 24 months, he said, yay, he survived. But science forgets to tell you that that child has developmental milestones that need to be achieved before you can say success. So you have a child that is alive but is not meeting what they need to meet. So it's really, really a matter of, as I said, education. So we thank you for your attention while the program lasted. We hope to have conversations resonated with you. And that in some way encourage you to contribute to your immediate environment. Little drops of water to sea makes a mighty ocean. Don't forget the advocate continues on our social media platforms on Facebook at plus TV Africa hashtag the advocate ng and on Twitter and on Instagram at plus TV hashtag advocate ng. To catch up with previous broadcasts, go to plus TV Africa dot com slash the advocate ng. Don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel plus TV Africa and plus TV Africa lifestyle. Join us next week, same time on this station. Let's keep advocating for a better society. See you next time.


The Russian military leadership has announced plans to deploy troops near the border close to the occupied Palestinian territories as tensions rise with the impending rougher invasion. This move has sparked discussions and concerns among military and government officials regarding the strategic implications of Russian troops allegedly patrolling a crucial border point with occupied Palestine. Reports indicate that the occupying forces have submitted a discreet formal inquiry to Russian authorities seeking clarification on the necessity of such a deployment at this juncture. If confirmed, this deployment would signify a notable shift in Russian strategic military policy towards Israel since the onset of the crisis. Based on available information, Russia has established a new observation point in southwest Syria near the occupied Golan Heights as reported by a reputable war monitor. This development occurs amidst escalating tensions between resistance groups and occupying forces in Gaza and other areas. The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights, leveraging its extensive network of on-ground sources, has noted the placement of the Russian observation point in the western plains area of Bir al-Ajam within the western countryside of Kunatra province adjacent to the Golan Heights. Thank you for tuning in to today's news coverage. We strive to provide comprehensive reporting and analysis to keep you abreast of developments in Palestine. Leave a like and kindly consider sharing and subscribing to our channel for timely updates on the ongoing crisis in Gaza. The report indicates that Russia has established ten observation posts along the demarcation line between Syria and the Golan Heights since the beginning of the year, marking a significant development as the Gaza crisis enters a critical phase. Thus far, Russia has maintained a diplomatic stance in its support for the resistance, endorsing every Security Council resolution calling for a permanent ceasefire. While Russia has hosted some political representatives of the Palestinian ruling party at certain points during the crisis, it has refrained from explicitly endorsing or arming the resistance against occupying forces. Despite possessing the means to halt the illegal bombing campaigns conducted by occupying forces in Syria, Russia has not intervened to cease these attacks. Indeed, Russia's Defense Ministry recently reported an airstrike by the occupation's Air Force on Nairab International Airport in Syria's Aleppo province. According to the ministry, two F-16 fighter jets belonging to the occupying forces fired cruise missiles that struck the airport, resulting in the injury of three civilian airport employees. In response to such attacks, criticism has been directed towards the occupation authorities. Russia has consistently condemned these assaults on Syrian territory, often justified as targeting Iran-backed militia groups. Russia points out the civilian casualties and violations of international law resulting from these attacks. Despite being a major ally to Bashar Assad's government, concrete actions to stop these attacks on legitimate Syrian infrastructure have not materialized. The decision to deploy troops near the occupation's military installations in the Golan Heights indicates strategic foresight. In the event of a wider conflict between the occupation and Syria, Russia appears prepared to manage refugee influxes and potentially provide military support to its Syrian allies. This deployment may also signal Russia's growing frustration with perceived geopolitical maneuvers in Gaza by Western powers. With the United States repeatedly rejecting immediate ceasefires in Gaza, Russia may anticipate the potential for a wider conflict and seek to proactively monitor developments across the Syrian border. To show a readiness to confront the worst, recent aerial attacks carried out by Russian warplanes targeted areas in the Syrian desert believe to harbor ISIS cells. The strikes hit locations in Al-Boshra, Al-Rasafah and Palmyra aiming to disrupt the activities of the extremist group. According to reports from the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights, SOHR, the death toll from military engagements in the Syrian desert since the start of 2024 has reached 127. The casualties include 17 ISIS members, neutralized by government forces and affiliated militias during operations aimed at combating terrorism. 100 government forces and militiamen, among them 13 Syrian militiamen supported by Iran who lost their lives in various clashes with ISIS militants. These confrontations which involved ambushes, armed assaults and explosive incidents occurred across the western Euphrates region and the deserts of Der Ezor, Al-Rakha and Homs. 10 civilians, sadly including a child who were affected by attacks carried out by ISIS militants in the Syrian desert. The ongoing conflict underscores the challenges in eradicating ISIS remnants from Syria's vast desert regions despite significant territorial losses by the group in recent years. The violence continues to exact a heavy toll on both military personnel and innocent civilians caught in the crossfire. Russian involvement in airstrikes against suspected ISIS targets adds complexity to the multifaceted dynamics of the Syrian conflict. Moscow's support for the Assad regime in its fight against various insurgent groups including ISIS underscores the intricate geopolitical landscape in the region. This complexity mirrors the evolving situation in occupied Palestine and highlights the need for a superpower like Russia to remain vigilant of the unfolding events. Another factor contributing to the growing tensions between Moscow and Tel Aviv is the issue of Iran. Iran has strengthened its military and economic ties with Moscow, particularly amidst heightened US sanctions imposed on both nations for their involvement in various global crises. While this cooperation is not inherently anti-Israel, it raises significant concerns for the occupation and the USA. These concerns stem from the potential technological advancements that could result from deeper cooperation between Iran and Russia. Complementing Iran's existing capabilities derived from extensive local research and the study of captured American drones. A robust and independent Iran poses challenges for the occupation, particularly if it were to acquire nuclear capabilities. A prospect viewed as a red line by authorities in Tel Aviv, enhanced cooperation with Russia and the possibility of a security guarantee deal could alter the deterrence dynamics for the occupation. It could potentially constrain the ability to launch attacks against the Islamic Republic, thus reshaping regional security dynamics. The government of Iran has reportedly supplied Russia with a significant number of surface-to-surface ballistic missiles. Shipments began in early January 2024 following an agreement reached after a series of bilateral meetings held in Tehran and Moscow towards the end of 2023. Military officials and security personnel from both countries participated in these discussions. This information was reported by the British news agency Reuters, citing six experts on the matter as sources. An Iranian official indicated that further shipments are planned, stating, ''There will be more shipments. There is no reason to hide it. We can export weapons to any country we want.'' According to sources, at least four shipments are planned in the coming days, with more expected in the following weeks. The armament supply from Tehran to Moscow, both countries facing economic sanctions from the United States, reportedly includes around 400 missiles. These include short-range FAT-110 series missiles, such as the Zulfagar, with a range of 300 to 700 kilometers. This increased cooperation between Iran and Russia raises concerns in the West, particularly in Israel. However, only time will tell whether this collaboration will continue to strengthen Iran, or if it represents a temporary measure by Russia to address Iran's foreign policies since the fall of the Soviet Union. Thank you for watching this news update. Please consider sharing it with your family and friends. Don't forget to subscribe for the latest developments from Palestine. Until our next update, peace.