Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous Corressible hair bring you our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden Time once again for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well, most students won't have their final exams for several weeks yet But our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School has had to undergo quite a few impromptu tests recently Yes, our beloved principal, mr. Conklin has taken to conducting a series of sudden little quiz shows without prizes to see if the faculty is on its toes Fortunately when mr. Conklin came into my classroom last Friday morning He found me very much on my toes due to a habit formed in my childhood of sitting with my feet curled beneath me Although it was my free period. I sprang to attention when mr. Conklin entered at ease Miss Brooks conjugate the word strive, please strive Strive strobe striven now thrive thrive thrive throw thriven. Uh, no Really mr. Conklin these sudden little tests are quite disconcerting silence miss Brooks. We're not finished Yes, sir more verbs five five five foe fiven Now wait a minute mr. Conklin five isn't a verb Thank you miss Brooks. I knew my visit to your room would produce some valuable bit of information My main reason for dropping in however was to ask you to do me a favor miss Brooks as you know Sunday is Mother's Day Yes, I know mr. Conklin. Thanks to a special savings plan. I started in February I was able to send my mother a card this morning But what did you want me to do for you? I'd like you to take this package home with you and keep it until Sunday morning It's a little Mother's Day remembrance for mrs. Conklin. I don't want it to stumble upon it before time Wonderful woman mrs. Conklin, and she's trained our daughter Harriet to be a duplicate of herself. Really? Yes Between them. They're the two biggest snoopers in the county That makes it unanimous. I mean, I'll be happy to keep the package for you mr. Conklin Thank you miss Brooks.  Conklin. Of course. He's not a brilliant student brilliant Walter Denton is Madison's gift to sub normality Thing that annoys me most is the way he bounces. He never goes anywhere. He always bounces there Hi miss Brooks. I just thought I'd bounce him for a minute Well, if it isn't the human handball Hello, mr. Conklin. Oh, if I'm interrupting anything, I'll just bounce along no Walter mr.  Conklin quite good morning miss Brooks. Goodbye mr. Conklin. Hasta la vista mr. Conklin I learned that in Spanish. It means see you later. Oh Well, no si lo veo a usted primero What does that mean miss Brooks that means not if I see you first Well, I need some advice miss Brooks It's about a mother's day gift, but a very special type of mother miss Brooks.  I have a mother of course. She's miles away No, no, I don't mean it that way miss Brooks I mean if you awoke to find that you were a mother, what would your first question be? What did it weigh doc Are you sure miss Brooks?  I might say who is my husband? No Miss Brooks, I'm serious My dad told me that was my mother's first concern after she knew I was all right You know she thinks of us constantly and never of herself, but me what do I do in return? I don't get out of bed when she wakes me. I'm always late for my meals I never help her with the dishes and I leave my clothes all over the house Well Sunday is mother's day miss Brooks, and I've got to make it up to her Well, that's pretty short notice Walder, but I have a suggestion for you. You have yes Sunday morning wait till your mother starts to make breakfast when you're sure she's in the kitchen close the door quietly behind her Then then gather up all the clothes that you've scattered around the house Then then put them in a big suitcase then run away from home I'm just teasing you Walter. There's only one way you can make your mother happy and that's by turning over a new leaf Well, I'll try miss Brooks, but meanwhile just supposing again. Well, what kind of a present would you like if you were a mother? Oh, I wouldn't care much about presents Walter. I'd just be happy if I had all my beloved children around me gee Well, of course my mother only has this one beloved child me But it's a lovely sentiment. However, I'd still like to figure out a little gift of some sort Oh, what would make a young mother like yourself happy a young father like mr. Boyn? Which reminds me Walter it's time for me to get down to his laboratory and pick him up for lunch Oh, did he invite you for lunch today? Of course he did about 10 minutes from now Tell me Walter were you able to find out what kind of a gift miss Brooks would like I couldn't find out a thing Harriet, but we've got to get her something What's the good of naming miss Brooks our mother away from mother if we can't surprise her with something she wants now? Let me see we'll organize a committee pick out a gift and give it to miss Brooks great Harriet Then tonight will officially become mother away from mother's day night Well, I certainly enjoyed that lunch our cafeteria cook seems to be getting better. He should be getting better He eats his meals across the street I'm at the foods improving now that we've finished lunch miss Brooks. I uh, I have a surprise for you surprise What is it mr. Boynham? Yes, one of your guinea pigs died and left you a million dollars No Then I give up. Well miss Brooks. I want you to meet my folks why mr.  Oh, that's right.  Oh, what a sense of humor He's got you know He's the one who told me the joke about the quiz master who called out I've got a lady doctor, but before he could ask her any questions.  Your father sounds like more fun than a barrel of depressed monkeys Uh May I ask you a rather personal question about your folks mr. Martin? Well certainly miss Brooks. What is it? How long did they go around together before they were married nine years? I? See folks believed in long engagements in those days, I guess They weren't engaged until six weeks before the wedding six weeks. Mm-hmm once dad makes up his mind about something He's greased lightning A little greasing the first eight years When are they arriving in town well this afternoon miss Brooks, I'll have to check them into a hotel for the weekend I've just got a small bachelor apartment. Yes. I know you told me about it Maybe your folks would like to drop over to mrs. Davis's tonight I'm sure my landlady wouldn't mind my dusting the living room a little well That's just fine with me miss Brooks that'll give the folks a chance to rest up from their trip and have some dinner before they Before they meet the girl about whom they've heard so much why mr. Born you mean you actually wrote to your folks about me and how miss Brooks I've written them many times about how gay and youthful and exuberant you are I am I mean you have Right I remember in one of my most recent letters to them I said you were more like a pupil than a teacher in fact I think that was a letter in which I described you as a great big overgrown kid Maybe I better take something You should have seen the answer I got from dad he said whatever you do son don't rob the cradle Leave it to dad He was jesting of course he loves youngsters mr. Boynton you've given me an idea What kind of an idea miss Brooks if your father turns me down when I ask him for your hand, maybe he'll adopt me But first here is Vern Smith now tests published in authoritative dental literature Show that when teeth are brushed right after eating Colgate dental cream stops tooth decay best Two years research at five leading universities hundreds of case histories shows that when used as directed Colgate dental cream stops tooth decay best yes Exhaustive tests show the Colgate way best to prevent decay Better than any other home method of oral hygiene known today based on both clinical and x-ray examinations The Colgate way stopped more decay for more people than ever before reported in all dentiferous history Even more important There were no new cavities whatever for more than one out of three who used Colgate dental cream is directed Think of it not even one new cavity in two full years No other dentiferous paste or powder Ammoniated or not? No other dentiferous has proof of such results the best results ever reported for a dentiferous of any type So always use Colgate to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and remember when you follow the Colgate way Colgate dental cream stops tooth decay best Well, I hurried home right after school and put mr. Conklin's gift to his wife on my dresser Then I started to make myself in the house as presentable as possible for mr. Boynton's parents First of all I took a shower and set my hair in pin curls Then I put on an old oversized house dress, which I had borrowed from Mrs. Davis This intriguing combination achieved the happy effect of making me look like a rat drowning in a quonset hut Then I went into the living room to get things in order when I got there Mrs. Davis had just finished vacuuming Oh, Connie will you pull the plug out for me my back's been bothering me lately certainly Mrs. Davis there Say this vacuum cleaner is pretty old, isn't it? Yes indeed, but it's held up remarkably well I bought it in 1932 1932 yes, this Hoover came in when the other one went out I Know I've never met mr. Boynton's parents before I know you haven't Connie and first impressions are so important That's why I sent our sofa and all the chairs out to be Recovered what every chair in the house is that the upholsterers Connie But don't worry stretch snot grass took them down for me and he promised to bring them back by six o'clock Stretch snot grass look Mrs. Davis stretch may be a fine athlete, but when it comes to mentality He's strictly a third strike why he's liable to forget where he took the chairs Oh, I don't think so Connie You know how absent-minded I am and even I couldn't forget the name of this upholsterer Why not because he has a very odd name. What is it? What is what? The name whose name The upholsterer Upholsterer yes, look Mrs. Davis the sofa and all our chairs are being recovered today. Well, they can certainly use it Where did you send them Connie fellow with a very odd name I never can remember it I'm sure it will come back to you later now if you'll excuse me I've got to go out and back and look for our cat Minerva. Is she missing again? Mm-hmm. She had a date this morning Yes, I heard her making it last night She should be back by now she knows how I worry about her Well, you let me know she comes in the front way Connie and I'll take a look back here. All right, Mrs. Davis That's funny Minerva never bothered to ring before How do you do my dear how do you do I'm Philip's mother Philip? Yes Philip Boyden. I'm Mrs. Boyden Oh, but that's impossible. You won't be here until tonight.  He has yes He says miss Brooks wouldn't know what to do without you Mrs. Davis Well, I try my best to please Mrs. Davis That's Mrs. Davis Mrs. Boyden I'm Miss Brooks such as I am we've got company Mrs. Davis. Oh, she came in the front way did she? Yeah, she's right here in the living room.  I didn't expect you until after dinner I'm perfectly all right miss Brooks as a matter of fact I owe you an apology for not recognizing you but it was rather dim in here and I'm not dim enough Where's mr. Boyden or should I say where are mr. Boyden's or mr. Boyden? Where is everybody? Trouble parking the car. Oh, I wanted to meet you first myself. Anyway, the Phillips written so much about you You must see an awful lot of each other. Well, we do teach at the same school I understand you were a teacher at one time Mrs. Boyden. Oh, yes indeed for many years. It's remarkable You still look so well-fed May we come in? Oh, it's the boys Hello, Phillip my dear. Oh, hello mom. Well, I see you two have met. Oh, yes indeed. We're old friends by now Well, there she is dad. How do you do my dear? I hear you've been just like a mother to miss Brooks, Mrs. Davis This house dress has got to go This isn't Mrs. Davis Harvey. This is miss Brooks. Oh, well, you know what I always say a bad beginning makes a good finish It's not that I'm finished.  He says oh says I then why don't you charge just to loosen them a little What a sense of humor He's hot stuff alright sure is but why are we all standing out here in the hall? Yes? Let's all go and stand in the living room Just follow me Well here we are now then mrs. Boynton if you'll just come over to this lamp. This is a very comfortable place to stand And mr. Boynton you can stand over there by the piano. I don't understand miss Brooks Where are all the chairs? They're out being recovered. I didn't expect you for hours yet, mr. Boynton This is a terrible thing to do to anybody. Oh, I'm sorry miss Brooks, but it couldn't be helped You see there's a convention in town. I couldn't get the folks accommodations anywhere You know how big my room is and well, I wondered if you and mrs. Davis could put the folks up for the weekend Why Phillips I'm surprised at you.  I was just explaining our predicament to miss Brooks She was saying how delighted she'd be to have you stay for a couple of days. Well, now that's what I call whopping hospitality It's a whopper. All right With the garbage Connie, I just oh, I thank you partner This is mr. And mrs. Boynton and this contrary to popular opinion is mrs. Davis How do you do good afternoon mrs. D nice little place you've got here I've just invited the folks to spend the weekend with this mrs. Davis if you don't mind my doubling up with you I figured they could have my room That's perfectly all right.  Why don't you go to bed? Bad But it's only 4 30 in the afternoon. Oh, she was only kidding mrs. Boynton mrs. Davis Oh, why don't you take the folks up to my room? Well, I could do with a bit of freshening up at that. Yeah, I don't sense mother yours fresh as the day I got you Oh Cut it out dad. Yes cut it out dad Well, miss Brooks certainly has a comfortable room Harvey. Yes indeed that little cat nap is just what the doctor ordered Tell the truth Harvey. Don't you think miss Brooks is setting her cap for Philip? Oh, is that a cap? I thought that shroud she was wearing had a snoot on it. Oh Be serious Harvey. We both know he'll make a wonderful husband when he grows up To me he's still a baby. You know how innocent he is. Yes, and sometimes I think it's all my own fault Sometimes I think that by now I should have sat him down and had a man-to-man talk with him Although my father didn't have a man-to-man talk with me until I was past 30 and at that I married you anyway Hey, what's this package on the dresser here says for mother must be for you Oh, well now wasn't that thoughtful of miss Brooks. She got a mother's day gift for me when she heard I was coming I'm going to open it right away. Oh mother's day isn't until Sunday. Now, you know, I'd never have the patience to wait. Oh Now let's see Well, why what's this a black silk negligee? Well, happy Mother's Day This can't be for me. Hey look look this card fell out when you opened up in the package says for baby from her goodie Well, I'm going to find out just where this came from. Oh Miss Brooks, I'm here a moment, please What can I do for you? Well, I opened a package by mistake and found this inside of it a Black sheer negligee. There was a card with it that said for baby from goodie goodie Oh, that must be short for Osgood. Why of course that was mr. Conklin's gift. Mr. Conklin Principal of Madison High. Yes, isn't he a devil? He asked me to keep it for him so his wife wouldn't discover it before Mother's Day. Oh, it's for his wife Yes, who did you think it was for? Don't answer that I Can tell from the position of your eyebrows my eyebrows. Yes, Mrs. Boyden, you'd better drop them a notch. You're pushing back your hair in that This dinner certainly is delicious, Mrs. Davis. Well, thank you, mr. Boyden But Miss Brooks is the one who deserves the credit. She prepared it all. Oh come now, Mrs. Davis You opened every bid as much as I did Eat it slowly, fella. Yes, mother. Remember your stomach has no teeth.  He's nothing but a great big overgrown kid Now that's funny. That's the same phrase Philip used in describing you in one of his letters Well, she is mother. You ought to see her around the school The students just treat her like one of themselves. Yes indeed. We kids have some great old times together I'll answer it Connie. Excuse me folks. I wonder who that could be Well, come me in again It's Walter and Harriet Connie. Oh, we didn't mean to disturb you miss Brooks. Oh, that's all right, Walter I was just telling the folks how informal we are at Madison. Mr. Mrs. Boyden. May I present Harriet Conklin and Walter Denham? Mr. Williamson, oh, yeah And now miss Brooks, we would like to present something to you that expresses the devotion and reverence felt toward you By the entire student body. Oh, what is it?  Oh, no I'll go to the piano, Walter and you sing the song we've written. Okay Harriet. Wait till you hear this folks The B stands for the books. She helps us study The R is for she's righteous All so pure The O is for the fact that she's our buddy The second O is likewise, I am sure The K is for okay, she writes about The S is for her sadly wrinkled brow He's motherly just like Elsie the cop miss Brooks that turns in just a moment, but first Luster cream Tonight. Yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives you k-doom. It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin Better than a soap better than a liquid luster cream is a dainty cream shampoo Leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragmently clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen Soft manageable even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight. Yes tonight try luster cream shampoo dream girl dream girl Beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to A luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well several days later Friday night came to an end as I escorted mr. Boynton to the front door He was in the strangely mellow mood You know miss Brooks. I'm a man of many dreams But more often than not I find I'm shooting too high Shooting too high mr. Boynton. Yes in well in trying to find the right girl for instance It seems that subconsciously I'm always looking for a girl who's just like my mother Attractive yet sweet and unselfish. Well, don't give up the search mr. Boynton Someday you're liable to find such a girl right under your nose, and I think that's a very nice location What I mean is when you gave up your room for mother I suddenly realized you're not only attractive, but also sweet and unselfish So miss Brooks instead of just shaking hands like we usually do Yes, mr. Boynton.  Boynton Yes on the forehead There you go shooting too high again To decay our miss brooks starring eve arden is produced by larry burns written by al-luis Lester white and joe quillen with the music of wilbur hatch under the direction of morris carlton Doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion in 14 days Yes, 36 leading skin specialists proved in tests on 1285 different women That palm olive soap facials using nothing but palm olive brought new complexion beauty to two women out of three Just wash your face three times daily with palm olive soap each time for 60 seconds massaging palm olive's beauty lather onto your skin Then rinse so start your palm olive facials today Remember doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion in 14 days For mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs listen to mr. And mrs north the exciting fun packed adventures of an amateur detective and his beautiful wife Tune in tuesday evening over most of these same stations and be with us again next week at the same time for another comedy episode of our miss brooks bobleman speaking The columbia broadcasting system


Today, we're gonna talk about something. I've been thinking about how I used to write Tales for the wiki that were set in like a verses sort of context where it'd be like this sec verses this sec And I thought long and hard about it and they they were doing well, but they weren't doing Spectacularly so because they were essentially just readings. So I decided today. I was gonna try and after being inspired by a conversation I had with another youtuber Try and do something similar except I'm just gonna walk you through the scenario in a more, you know Serious in person sort of way So today we're going to talk about how the US military would deal with SCP 096 So the very first thing we have to think about is when we talk about SCP 096 Which canonical representation of it is there and out of the details that we have what does that mean? The scp will actually be capable of doing SCP 096 is capable of fair. It has a very very strong regenerative factor if you look at his face he'll come and find you and He will kill you in about a second or so now we've done a video way back when Talking about how like if everyone in the world got a soft picture of SCP 096 You really wouldn't be as huge a deal, but on limited scales just a couple hundred people They all die pretty quickly when it's seven billion people it takes Decades for him to kill everybody and by that point you're going to have more people born so on and so forth But the US military is going to use every tool at its disposal So assume for a second that in our context of art This is our scenario the scp foundation either doesn't or just stopped existing Every facility every cage every employee every single bit of knowledge they have about scp's poof gone and All that's left are all of the anomalies now the Now the US military uses a number of weapons in active service. We're going to Probably work from say the US Army or a National Guard standpoint Now the thing it's important to remember here is that US military can't technically act on US soil for domestic like Policing So the first responders are going to be the actual police Before they realize that maybe this is a little outside the scope of what they can do and they're going to be using small arms almost exclusively Small arms on SCP 096 can slow it a little bit But that's the most you're going to get out of it like you can you can knock all the meat off of his bones and still his bones will be fine his bones are Not necessarily indestructible. They are as far as the scp foundation knows indestructible Because they've never managed to be able to cause any damage or permanent damage to them But the rest of them is very destructible. So Also in context we have to think about what that means for his like joints So is the cartilage and stuff that connects his bones to other bones indestructible too? It's a good question to ask For our sake, we're going to assume so and that it can continue to move without flesh and meat for example the police would probably send in their SWAT teams everything that they could possibly muster and Shoot it a lot. That's what that's what police do with things. They don't understand or things that scare them After a while, they would all probably be dead because they wouldn't have the time or Knowledge to know that you can't look at its face and they would all have looked at its face And it would go one by one and one and kill them and at this point Wider society is going to learn about this threat. It's gonna be on the news There'll be a hashtag, you know, cancel SCP 096 party or I'm sorry shy guy cancel the shy guy party And lots of thoughts and prayers from politicians and then We will move into the military response because the military will Almost certainly realize this is not something that domestic police can handle and they'll start working on solving the problem as best as they can We're going to see an upgrade in the arms Used against this thing, but none of it's gonna matter.  So see the art US army uses The six hour model 17 modular handgun system Yeah, I mean but the modular hand like None of it's gonna matter because these are not the calibers. We're talking about are not going to solve the problem There's not enough. There's not enough power. There's not enough force behind these bullets So they're gonna upgrade now Infographics show did something recently talking about the most powerful guns that the US military has available the traditional likes still Smallish arms None of these it's not gonna do anything the calibers not high enough There's not enough force So we would move to bigger guns the biggest things that we can think of and and while there are still Cannons available. Most of them couldn't be brought to bear on a land target but some of them could we could get how it serves and that kind of stuff going on but By and large you're just gonna see boom boom boom and and Early on you're gonna have a lot of problems with the people seeing the face and getting killed I Say early on because eventually people are going to figure out what's going on and stop it like US military is not made up of a bunch of idiots They will figure out that you can't look at its face or that if you look at its face You're dead that will be something that is determined fairly quickly Although you could lose a couple hundred to thousands of people before that Clicks, but it will click before any widespread problems. Now issue here is The press covering it of course will cause all sorts of problems when people see its face on news So purging that will become its own thing But we're not focused too heavily on that yet What's going to happen is the US military will upgrade and upgrade and upgrade because it's gonna keep killing and they're not gonna be able to stop it so eventually they're gonna start start dropping the biggest bombs that they can drop on it the conventional warheads and then Yes, the next possible option will move into nuclear weapons now This is the problem and this is what the SAP foundation is supposed to teach as a lesson right Destroying things you don't understand and that don't follow the basic laws of physics Doesn't make sense humans us as humans really think about Like if something scares us and we don't understand it the first thing we really want to do Blow it up destroy it get rid of it The unknown is scary and the scary needs to go away But let's say we nuke SCP 096 and let's say for the sake of argument that that's enough that vaporizes the SCP but this is not something that obeys the laws of physics There's nothing to say and this is very this goes back to the wood chipper and the GOC The individual atoms. Yes, you have vaporized it. You've separated into its constituent atoms But it doesn't obey the laws of physics those constituent atoms might move on their own Towards targets anyway and do the exact same thing that they would have done if they weren't separated out into constituent atoms so in the end When you're dealing with something that doesn't make any sense Believe it or not and we could talk about the cost of this to like The handgun rounds those are pretty cheap the big high caliber cannons. Those are Significantly more expensive conventional bombs hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars Nuclear bombs millions of dollars intercontinental ballistic missiles delivery systems millions of dollars The lives of the people who are lost in this and get engagement, you know But there's one solution and it's very good and it will cost almost nothing and that's a Opaque bag over its head That's it. That's all you need to do Once you understand how it works once you understand how SCP 096 works all these guns all these bombs everything makes no sense at all You just put a bag over its head You know what it does, you know, you know how to coordinate off You know how to keep it out of the media and by the way, the media is not that dumb. Let me be clear here Media are not made up of a bunch of idiots either Everything we see in movies and stuff make it out like the police or the military or the media that just the the grand human population Are the dumbest motherfuckers that you've ever met in your entire life the media Knowing that images of this thing will lead to people's deaths Would not continue to put them in front of people so the limit the damage would it would still happen But it would be very limited and it would be taken down by everybody who could take it down And by the way, if you're thinking about how weapon tracking systems might work for any of the previous sets up here Like you don't need to look at a target with an advanced tracking system Like you can just there like even if SCP 096 doesn't generate any heat of its own Which I personally don't think it's true. Even if it doesn't generate any heat of its own It has to move on the ground and it moves quite quickly gonna generate some friction there like tracking it through heat is very easy anyway, that's it, I just wanted to talk a little bit about how How would the s how would the US military deal with the SCPs that we'd interact with and if you like this kind of video Let me know down in the comments down below because this is the kind of thing I'm thinking about doing more of like with other SCPs like how would society deal with SCP 049 and so on and so forth and then Hit the subscribe button and then hit the notification bill next to that so you're notified when I upload new videos I say this every time now, but I don't want it to get lost in the shuffle hitting the subscribe button is Super important, especially if you enjoy this kind of content. You want to see more of it?