a nursery rhyme picture book by Leonard Leslie Brooke. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org read by Chad Horner. The man in the moon. The man in the moon can tumbling down and asked his mate Norwich.  To market, to market.  Home again, home again dancing a jig. To market, to market to buy a fat hog. Home again, home again jiggity jog. There was a man. There was a man and he had not. And robbers came to rob him. He crept up the chimney pot and then they thought they had him. But he got down on the other side and then they could not find him. He ran fourteen miles in fifteen days and never looked behind him. The lion and the unicorn. The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown. The lion beat the unicorn all round about the town. Some gave them white bread and some gave them brown. Some gave them plum cake and sent them out of town. Little Miss Muffet. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet eating of curds and whey. There came a big spider and sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away. Oranges and lemons and gago down to ring the bells of London Town. Bull's eyes and targets say the bells of the St Margaret's. Brickpots and tiles say the bells of St Giles. Pancakes and fritters say the bells of St Peter's. Two sticks on an apple say the bells at Whitechapel. Half pens and farthings say the bells of St Martin's. Oranges and lemons say the bells of St Clemens. Old Father Baldgate say the slow bells at Oldgate. Hookers and tongs say the bells of St John's. Kettles and pans say the bells of St Ann's. You owe me 10 shillings. Say the bells of St Helen's. When I grow rich say the bells at Shortitch. When will you pay me? Say the bells of Old Bailey. Pray when will that be? Say the bells of Stepney. I am sure I don't know. Says the great Bella of Bow. Here comes a candle to light you to bed.  Goosey goosey gander. Goosey goosey gander. Where shall I wander? Upstairs downstairs and in my lady's chamber there I met an old man that would not say his prayers. I took him by the left leg and threw him downstairs. Humpty Dumpty. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again. Baba Blacksheep. Baba Blacksheep, have you any wool? Yes, Mary. Have I? Three bags full. One for my master and one for my dame. And one for the little boy that lives in the lane. The three wise men of Gotham. Three wise men of Gotham went to sea in a bowl. If the bowl had been stronger my song would have been longer. End of a nursery rhyme picture book by Leonard Leslie Brooke. A powerful friend from Pussy and Doggy Tales by Edith Nesbitt. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org. My mother was the best of cats. She washed us kittens all over every morning and at odd times during the day. She would wash little bits of us. Say an ear or a paw or a tail tip. And she was very anxious about our education. I am afraid I gave her a great deal of trouble. For I was rather stout and heavy. I did not take a very active and graceful part in the exercises which she thought good for us. Where Tunisium was the kitchen hearth rug. There was always a good fire in the grate. And it seemed to me so much better to go to sleep in front of it than to run round after my own tail. Or even my mother's though of course that was a great honour. As for running after the reel of cotton when the cook dropped it or playing with the tassel of the blind cord or pretending that there were mice inside the paper bag which I knew to be empty. I confess that I had no heart or imagination for these diversions. Of course you know best mother I used to say but it does seem to me a dreadful waste of time. We might be much better employed. How better employed asked mother severely. Why I answered in eating or sleeping at first my mother used to box my ears and insist on my learning such little accomplishments as she thought necessary for my station in life.  What is that? asked my sister. Mice catching said my mother very honestly there are no mice here I said stretching myself.  Thus at first she used to try to show me how foolish it was to think of nothing but eating and sleeping but after a while she turned all her attention to teaching my brother and sister and they were out pupils. They despised nothing small enough to be moved by their paws which could give them an opportunity of practicing. They did not mind making themselves ridiculous. A thing which has been always impossible with me. I have seen Tabby my sister in the garden playing with dead leaves as excited and pleased as so they had been the birds which she foolishly pretended that they were. I thought her very silly then but I lived to wish that I had taken half as much trouble with my lessons as she did with hers. My mother was very pleased with her especially after she caught the starlings. This was a piece of cleverness which my sister invented and carried through entirely out of her own head. She made friends with one of the cows at the farm near us. I used to go into the cowhouse and jump on the cow's back then when the cow was sent out into the field to get her grassy breakfast my sister used to go with her riding on her back. Now birds are always very much on the lookout for cats and if they can help it never allow one of us to come within half a dozen yards of them without taking to those silly wings of theirs. I never could see why birds should have wings so unnecessary but birds are not afraid of cows for cows are very poor sportsmen and never care to kill and eat anything. Now the bag of a cow is the last place where you would think of looking for a cat so when the starlings saw the cow coming they didn't think it worthwhile to use their wings and then the cow was quite close to the birds beautiful fat delightful birds my sister used to pick out with her eye the fattest starling and then leap suddenly from the cow's bag on to your prey she never missed. I have never known except my per mother with tears of pride in her green eyes I have never known a cat to do anything so clever it's all you're doing mother dear said the sister piddly if you hadn't taught me so well when I was little I should never have thought of it and they kissed each other affectionately I showed my paws and growled my mother shook her tabby head oh buff she said if you had only been willing to learn when you were little you might have been as clever as your sister instead of being the great anxiety you are to me am I an anxiety I said ruffling up my fur and my tail for I was very angry because you're useless she said and not particularly handsome and when a cat is useless and not particularly handsome they sometimes what I said turning pale to the ends of my ears they sometimes drown it buff she said in the whisper and turned away to hide her feelings judge of my own next day when they came into the kitchen and took me up and put me into a basket I knew all about drowning these tales of horror are told at twilight time in all catnish race and I knew that if three large stones were put into the basket with me I might consider my fate sealed it was very uncomfortable in the basket they carried me upside down part of the way and it was trotting and hard but so far there were no stones when they took off the lid of the basket I found myself under the shade of a huge moving mountain that seemed about to fall and crush me it was an elephant I found that the people were my mother lived had given me to the cook who had given me to her cousin who was engaged to be married to a young man his brother-in-law was the elephant's keeper and so I found myself in the elephant's house there was no milk for me no heads and tails of fish no scraps made no delicious umphersen morsels of butter the elephant was very kind to me he had once had a friend exactly like me he explained but had unfortunately walked upon him and now I had come to fill the vacant place in his large heart I resolved at once that he should not walk upon me but in order to ensure this I was compelled to enter upon a more active existence and I had ever known when I asked what I was expected to eat he said my size I suppose or you will have some of my buns if you like you might like them at first but you will soon get tired of them but I couldn't eat buns I was never from a kitten fond of such things I got very hungry again and again the mice rushed through the straw and I heavily helplessly in my unpracticed way rushed after them at first the elephant laughed heartily at my inexpertness but when he saw how hungry and wretched I was he said they won't give you any milk and if they find you don't catch the mice they will take you away from me you are a nice little cat and I don't want to part with you we must try and arrange something then the great thought of my life came to me you walked on the other cat I said what he trumpeted in the voice of thunder I beg your pardon I said hastily I didn't mean to hurt your feelings and indeed I could not have imagined that an elephant would have been so thin skinned but a great idea has come to me why shouldn't you walk on mice not too hard but just so that I could eat them afterwards well said the elephant showing his long tusks and a smile you are not very handsome and you are not very brisk but you certainly have brains my dear he dropped his great foot as he spoke when he lifted it there lay a mouse I had an excellent supper and before the week's end I heard the keeper say this cat has certainly done the trick he's kept the mice down we must keep her they have kept me they even got so far as to allow me to moisten my mice with milk there is no moral to this story except that you should do as you are told and learn everything you can while you are young it is true that I get on very well without having done so but then you may not have my good luck it is not every cat who can get an elephant to catch her mice for her end of A Powerful Friend The Fairy Ring by Johnny Gruel this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org a little old man with a violin tucked under his arm shuffled down the attic steps and the many flights of stairs until finally he reached the streets he shuffled down the street he clutched his coat tightly about his throat for the air was chill and he felt the cold at the first street corner he stopped and placed his violin to his shoulder to play but catching a glance from the policeman across the street he hastily tucked his violin under his arm and shuffled on he walked a great distance before he again stopped it was a busy corner where hundreds of people passed every few minutes but when he played no one stopped to listen to his music much less to drop anything in the tiny tin cup he had placed on the sidewalk before him tears came to the poor little old man's eyes everyone was too busy to stop to hear his music so in the evening when he slowly retraced his steps towards his attic home his feet were very tired and he shuffled more than he had in the morning his back humped and his head drooped more tears nearly blinded him he had to stop and rest at each flight of stairs and he fell to his knees just as he reached the attic door he sat there and rested a while then caught hold of the doorknob and raised himself to his feet a quaint little white haired woman greeted him with a cheery smile as he entered then seeing his sad face she turned her head and tears came to her eyes the little old man sobbed as he stumbled towards her chair and fell to his knees before her burying his face in her lap neither could say a word for a long time then the little old man told her he had been unable to make a single penny by playing no one cares to hear an old man play the violin no one cares that we go hungry and cold play he added fiercely just as well as ever I could listen to this and the little old man stood up and drew his bow across the violin strings in a shore fiery manner so that the lamp chimney rattled and sang with the vibrations of the strings and in his fierceness he improvised a melody so wild and beautiful his sister sat entranced as the little old man finished the melody he stood still more upright then straightening his old shoulders and pulling his hat firmly on his head he stooped and kissed the old lady and walked with a firm tread to the door I shall make them take notice tonight he cried I shall return with success so again he went down the long flights of stairs and down the street until he came to a good corner where traffic was heavy there with the mood upon him he fired him in the attic he played again the wild melody a few people hesitated as they passed but only one stopped this was an old woman bent and wrinkled who helped herself along with a cane she stopped and looked him squarely in the eye and the little old man felt he should recognize her but he could not remember where he had seen her before nor was he sure that he had ever looked upon her until now at any rate the faint memory inspired him and raising his violin he played a beautiful lullaby before he had finished the old woman leaned over and dropped something into his little tin cup it sounded as loud as a silver dollar would have sounded the dear old generous soul the old man thought as he continued playing he played for hours but the old woman was the only one who stopped all at least have enough to get Cynthia some warm food he said thinking of what the old lady had dropped into his tin cup but when he looked what was his dismay to see only a large iron ring again he climbed the stairs to the attic but he felt too weary to say a thing and his sister knew that he had met with disappointment he tossed the iron ring to her lap and went over to the bed and threw himself upon it this is the end he said and told her about the iron ring the old woman seemed interested in me playing he said and perhaps she gave all she could give let us not be downhearted brother said the sister surely tomorrow you will find someone who will reward your talent the little old man was quiet for a long time and then he arose and again drew his bow across the violin strings the old lady sat very still and dreamed for her brother was playing one of their childhood songs as she lost herself in reverie she turned the iron ring around her finger and saw upon its surface as she turned it the faces of her playmates long ago and as the brother swept from one melody to another she saw the iron ring change color and grow larger and larger and as she turned it she saw the figures of her childhood playmates turned before her upon her lap and they joined their voices with the silvery notes of the violin's long ago songs until the attic was filled with the melody and the figure stands from her lap and taking her by the hand circled in the center of the attic room laughing and singing the little old man had been playing with his eyes closed but as the songs grew louder he opened them and beheld the ring of little figures with his sister holding hands with two of them and rising from the bed still playing the childhood songs of long ago he walked to the center of the room as he did so the figures rose in the air and seemed to grow lighter and larger and suddenly the scene changed he was out in the woods with lofty trees towering above him while all about laughing and talking were hundreds of little fairies, gnomes and sprites and there too were the playmates of long ago just as he had seen them when he had closed his eyes and played in the attic and there too was his sister as she had been when a child he looked at himself and lo! he was no longer wrinkled and old he was young again in his gladness he danced with joy and catching his sister to his breast he kissed her again and again and looking about him with shining eyes he again drew his bow across the strings and played a tune so lively and full of sweet happiness the childhood friends caught hands and danced in a circle and the little sprites, elves, gnomes and fairies caught hands and danced around the children and as they passed before the brother he caught a mischievous glance from the eyes of one of the little fairies and he knew in a moment she was the one who had played the old woman and who had given him the iron ring the people who lived in the room below the attic room missed the little old man's shuffling step and not hearing it for two days they told the landlady a kindly soul who had let the brother and sister have the attic room free of charge and all went up to investigate they wrapped upon the attic door all was quiet within timidly they opened the door and looked in there upon the floor lay an old rusty iron ring it was the fairy ring End of the Fairy Ring by Johnny Gruel Red by Stephen Fellows Forgiveness By an unknown author This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Red by Chad Horner Forgiveness A friend with whom I was conversing a few weeks since told me of a beautiful example of this Christian grace even in a little child it has often dwelt in my memory since and perhaps some of my little readers may be in just to cultivate the same spirit if I repeat it to them Little Sarah was a sweet child of six summers gentle and affectionate in disposition she soon won a large portion of that love which few hearts can withhold from the happy spirit of infancy it has been said childhood is ever lovely and I would add childhood is ever loved Sarah was an attentive and careful reader of the word of God at a very early age there it was that she found the divine promise forgive and thou shalt be forgiven and she not only read this precept but showed by her life of gentle forgiveness that she had engraven it upon her heart she attended a small school which was kept near her home and I am sorry that all who were her schoolmates had not the same kind of spirit there were some who were very rude and unkind and Sarah soon found many trials to encounter often with the gentle child returned to her sweet home in tears to forget her sorrow in a mother's love yet every harsh and unkind tongue was forgiven by her for she knew that forgiveness was of heaven one day when her mother had given her some plums she observed that Sarah did not eat them but put them all into her little work by to carry them to school why do you do so said she you do not eat the plums which I have given you no mother said Sarah I will carry them to the little children who do not love me perhaps they will love me better if I am kind to them here was the true secret of human love the power of kindness there is none other that will reach every heart there is none other that can influence them for good it can lead the sinner from his evil way for none are too simple to love and where love is there is power we are all frail and erring beings whose early prayer should be for pardon and shall we not forgive end of forgiveness by an unknown author the Two Shoes by Walter Crain this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org read by Chad Horner in the reign of Good Queen Bess there was an honest, industrious countryman named Meanwhile who, living under a hard landlord was cruelly turned out of his little farm which had enabled him to support a wife to children called Tommy and Marjorie care and misfortune soon shortened his days and his wife, not long after followed him to the grave at her death the two poor children were left in a sad plight they had to make all sorts of shifts to keep themselves from starving they were also without proper clothes to keep them warm and as for Shoes they had not even two pairs between them Tommy, who had to go about more than his sister had a pair to himself but little Marjorie for a long time wore but one shoe but heaven had heard their dying mother's prayers and had watched over and protected them where leaf was at hand and better things were in store for them it happened that Mr. Goodall, the clergyman of the parish heard of their sad wandering sort of life and so he sent with the two children and kindly offered to shelter them until they could get regular work to do soon after this a gentleman came from London on a visit and no sinner did he hear the story of the orphans than he resolved to be their friend the very first thing he did was to order a pair of shoes to be made for Marjorie and he offered to take Tommy to London promising to put him in a way to do well by going abroad as these two children loved each other very dearly Marjorie was in great trouble when the time came for her brother to start and wept bitterly but Tommy in order to comfort her promised he would not fail to come back to see her when he should return from foreign countries after he was gone Marjorie began to recover her usual cheerfulness but what helped greatly to put her into good spirits was the pleasure she took in her new shoes as soon as the old shoemaker brought them she put them on and ran at once to the clergyman's wife crying out with glee as she pointed to them two shoes, two shoes ma'am say two shoes these words she kept on repeating to everybody she met and so came to be called goody two shoes now Marjorie was a thoughtful little girl and was most anxious to learn to read and write when Mr Goodall saw this she kindly taught her what she most wished to know and in a short time she became a better scholar than any of the children who went to the village school as soon as she found that this was the case she thought she would try to teach such poor children as could not go to school now as very few books were then printed she thought she could get over the difficulty by cutting out of wood six sets of capital letters like these A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z and then sets of these common letters A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z when after much pains and trouble she had finished all these wooden letters she managed to borrow an old spelling book and with the help of this she made her playmates set up the words she wished them to spell one day as Marjorie was coming home from the next village she met with some wicked idle boys who had tied a young Raven to his staff and were just going to throw stones at it she offered at once to buy the Raven for a penny and this they agreed to she then brought him home to the personage and gave him the name of Ralph and a fine bird he was Maj soon taught him to speak several words and also to pick up letters and even to spell a word or two Some years before Marjorie began to teach the poor cottagers of children Sir Walter, well done, a wealthy knight had set up an elderly widow lady in a small school in the village this gentle woman was at length taken ill and was no longer able to attend to her juries When Sir Walter heard of this he sent for Mr Goodall and asked him to look out for someone who would be able and willing to take Mrs Grey's place as mistress of the school the worthy clergyman could think of no one else so well qualified for the task as Marjorie mean well who, though by young was grave beyond her years and was growing up to be a comely maiden and when he told his mind to the knight Marjorie was at once chosen Sir Walter built a larger school house for Marjorie's guests so that she could have all her old pupils about her that liked to come as well as the regular scholars from this time no one called her goody two shoes but generally Mrs Marjorie and she was more and more liked and respected by her neighbours Soon after Marjorie had become mistress of the school she saved a dove from some cruel boys and she called him Tom in remembrance of her brother now far away and from whom she had heard no tidings about this time a lamb had lost its steam and its owner was about to have it killed when Marjorie heard of this she bought the lamb and brought it home some neighbours finding a fond of such pets Marjorie was presented her with a nice playful little dog called Jumper and also with a Skylark now Master Ralph was a shrewd bird and a bit of a wag too and when well the lamb and Carl the Lark made their appearance then knowing a fellow hicked out the following verse to the great amusement of everybody early to bed and early to rise is the way to be healthy, wealthy and wise Mrs Marjorie was ever on the lookout to be useful to her neighbours now a traveller from London I presented her with a new kind of instrument a rough looking barometer by the help of which she could often guess correctly how the weather would be before hand this caused a great talk about the country and so provoked were the people of the distant villages at the better luck of them Moldwell folks that they accused Mrs Marjorie of being a witch and sent old Nicky Noodle to go and tax her with it and to scrape together whatever evidence he could against her when this wise acre saw her at her school door with her raven on one shoulder and the dove on the other on her hand and the lamb and little dog by her side, the sight took his breath away for her time and he scambered off crying out a witch, a witch, a witch she laughed at the simpletons folly and called him chuggously a conjurer for his beans but her Mrs Marjorie did not know how much folly and wickedness there was in the world and she was greatly surprised to find that the half witted Nicky Noodle had got a warrant against her at the meeting of the justices of whom she was summoned to appear many of her neighbours were present ready to speak up for her character if needful but it turned out that the charge made against her was nothing more than Nicky's idle tale that she was a witch nowadays it seems strange that such a thing could be but in England and that period so fondly, styled by some the good old times many silly and wicked things were constantly being done especially by the rich and powerful against the poor such things as would not now be borne it happened that among the justices who met to hear this charge against Mrs Marjorie there was but one silly enough to think there was any ground for it his name was shallow and it was he who had granted the warrant but she soon silenced him when she kept repeating that she must be a witch to foretell the weather besides harboring many strange creatures about her by explaining the use of her weather-glass fortunately her patron, Sir Walter Weldon was well acquainted with the use of the new instrument when he had explained its nature to his foolish brother Justice he turned the whole charge into ridicule and gave Mrs Marjorie such a high character that the justices not only released her once but gave her their public thanks for the good services she had done in their neighbourhood one of these gentlemen, Sir Edward Lovell fell ill and requested Mrs Marjorie to take charge of his house and look after his dear children having taken counsel with her kind old friend the clergyman she consented to this and quite one Sir Edward's respect and admiration by her skill and tenderness in nursing him and by the great care she took of his children by the time that Sir Edward fully regained his health he had become more and more attached to Mrs Marjorie to be wondered at that when she talked of going back to her school he should offer her his hand of marriage this proposal took her quite by surprise but she really loved Sir Edward and her friends Sir Walter and Mr Goodall advised her to accept him telling her she would then be able to do many more good words than she had ever done before all things having been settled and the day fixed the great folks and others in the neighbourhood came in crowds to see the wedding for glad they were that one who had ever since she was a child been so deserving was to be thus rewarded just as the bride and bridegroom were about to enter the church their friends assembled outside were busily engaged in watching the progress of a horseman handsomely dressed and mounted who was galloping up a distant slope leading to the church as eagerly as if he wanted to get there before the marriage this gentleman so eloquently dressed proved to be no other that Marjorie's brother or former acquaintance little Tommy just returned with great honour and profit from a distant foreign country when they had recovered from this pleasant surprise the loving couple returned to the altar and were married to the satisfaction of all present after her happy marriage Lady Lovell continued to practice all kinds of good and took great pains in increasing and improving the school of which she had been the mistress and placed there a poor but worthy scholar and his wife to her side over it end of goody two shoes by Walter Crane Hey Diddle Diddle and Baby Bunting by Randolph Cull Dickett this is a Libber Vox recording all Libber Vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibberVox.org with the Chad Horner Hey Diddle Diddle the cat and the fiddle the cow jumped over the moon the little dog laughed to see such fun and the dish ran away with the spoon Baby Bunting by Baby Bunting fathers gone a hunting gone to fetch a rabbit skin to wrap the Baby Bunting in end of Hey Diddle Diddle and Baby Bunting by Randolph Cull Dickett The Hundredth Princess by Evelyn Sharp this is a Libber Vox recording all Libber Vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibberVox.org there was once a king who was so fond of hunting that all the rabbits in his kingdom were born with their hearts in their mouths the king would have been extremely surprised to hear this for of course he never hunted anything so small as a rabbit but rabbits are foolish enough for anything as all the world knows that the rabbits of the king's forest would never have had a happy moment to this day if the green enchantress had not suddenly taken it into her head to try and bewitch the king now the green enchantress was very beautiful indeed she sat all day long at the foot of an old lime tree in the royal forest and she was dressed all in green and she had small white hands and great black eyes and fair every animal in the forest from the largest wild boar down to the smallest baby rabbit was a friend of hers and it made her dreadfully unhappy when she saw them being killed just to amuse the king so it was no wonder that she made up her mind at last to try and bewitch him and the first time she tried was on a fine summer evening when the royal party was riding home from the hunt it had been an exceedingly dull hunt and the king found nothing whatever to kill and this made him so exceedingly irritable that his followers took care to keep a good way behind him as they rode along that was how it happened that the king was riding quite alone when a voice suddenly called out to him from the side of the road good evening king said the voice have you had good sport today the king pulled up his horse and looked round and when he saw a wonderful looking girl with an old lime tree he did not know quite what to say he knew very little about girls for he had spent all his life in killing things but he had a sort of idea that the girl in green was not much like the princesses who came to court I've had no sport at all he said at last all the animals were hiding today no doubt they were said the green enchantress so would you be if people came hunting you with great hearted spears and things it was really laughing at him but the king had no idea of it he only looked at her more solemnly than before what do you know about it he asked her perhaps I know more about this forest than you know about the whole of your kingdom answered the green enchantress and this time she laughed outright but the king did not mind in the least perhaps you do he said simply I never pretended to know much I do not even know why you were laughing will you tell me I am laughing because you know so little she answered mysteriously and because there is so much I could tell you if it pleased me I have no doubt you could replied the king will it please you to tell me now I don't feel inclined to tell you now said the green enchantress how strange exclaimed the king if I had anything to tell I should tell it at once but then I am not a girl when will you tell me next time you come next time why should I come twice when once would do she did not trouble to answer that at all and when the king looked again at the old lime tree the girl in green had completely disappeared is there a witch in the forest when his followers came writing up to him there is the green enchantress your majesty I have never seen her but they say she is the most beautiful woman in the whole world indeed said the king in surprise and he went home and spent the whole of the evening in trying to remember what the girl in green had looked like he had quite forgotten however so the very next morning he stole out of the palace long before anyone was awake and walked as fast as he could in the direction of the old lime tree the wild boars and the other animals were most surprised to see him there so early in the day and they followed him in twos and threes to see what he was going to do as for the king he strode on over the dewy grass and never noticed them at all and all the while the bracken on either side of him was alive with trembling little rabbits all squeaking to one another with their hearts in their mouths we shall certainly be killed if the king sees us at last he came to the old lime tree at the side of the road and there sat the wonderful girl all dressed in green with her dark red hair rolling round her down to the ground the king would have taken off his crown to her if he had not come out without it but he made her a low bow instead and the green enchantress began to laugh tear me she said why have you come back again well they told me you were the most beautiful woman in the world so I came to see if it was true said the king and now you are here do you think it's true? asked the girl in green I suppose so said the king doubtfully but I don't know much about girls if you were a wild boar now or but I'm not a wild boar cried the green enchantress and she was so angry at being compared to a wild boar that she promptly threw a spell over the king and tried to turn him into a wild boar but the king went on being a king just the same as before and he had no idea that he was expected to be a wild boar at that very moment when are you going to tell me all the things you know? he asked her smiling I've forgotten what there was to tell said the green enchantress sulkily and she got up and walked away among the trees the king wondered what he had done to offend her and he tried hard to remember whether he had ever offended any of the princesses who came to court but as none of the princesses who came to court ever thought of showing their feelings he would not have known if he had meanwhile the green enchantress was feeling very cross indeed what is the use of being an enchantress if people refuse to be enchanted? she grumbled and she ran off as fast as she could to find her godfather, the magician Smilax for nothing ever put her into such a good temper as a visit to her godfather now Smilax was the most amiable magician the world has ever contained and he lived in an ordinary little cottage with a green door and a white doorstep and a red chimney pot and he did not look like a magician at all all the same Smilax was by no means a stupid magician as the rest of the story will show what's the matter he asked when his godchild ran in at the door do you want me to teach you a new spell no indeed cried the green enchantress I am tired of spells I want something much better well well said the kind old magician let us hear what it is all about and then we'll see what we can do it was impossible to go on being cross when anyone was as good temperate as Smilax so his godchild climbed at once onto the arm of his chair and sat there with her little white feet dangling while she told him all about the king who would not turn into a wild boar is it not hard pouted the green enchantress that I cannot bewitch the king some kings are easier to bewitch than others remarked the magician wisely now what is it you wanted me to do for you I want you to make me into a princess said his godchild promptly then I can go to court and dance with the king only think of it and she pretended that the poker was the king and danced around the room with it to show how she should behave when she got to court that's easily done said Smilax you shall go to court and dance with the king if you like and I will make you so fine a princess that the king will not be able to distinguish you from all the other princesses in the palace but I don't want to be like all the other princesses godfather I want to be a real princess objected the green enchantress Smilax shook his head then I cannot help you he said nobody can make a real princess not even the fairy queen herself real princesses make themselves and that is a very different matter shall I never go to court then asked his godchild with tears in her eyes of course you shall since Smilax can you not go to court without being a princess there is a backdoor to the palace as well as a front one and any ordinary person can get in at the backdoor but you must give up all your witchcraft the moment you set foot in the palace for it is impossible to be an ordinary person and a bewitching one at the same moment and I don't mind that said his godchild if I cannot be which the king I do not want to be an enchantress anymore I will go to the palace this very minute and so she did and that was how it came about that there was a new scullery made at the palace and one fine morning the king met her all among the vegetables as he took his stroll in the garden after breakfast it is extremely probable the king would not have noticed her at all if she had not happened to be wearing a bright green handkerchief tied over her dark red hair he felt sure that he had seen that bright green and that dark red somewhere before so he stopped and looked at her what are you doing he asked her with a smile I am picking beans for the king's dinner answered the little scullery made how extremely kind of you exclaimed the king who had always supposed that the beans for his dinner picked themselves will you let me look at them she held out her basket and the king peeped inside and found it full of bright scarlet flowers are those beans asked the king in wonderment never seen anything so charming before I hope so said the little scullery made with an anxious sigh for she knew no more about it than the king and was dreadfully afraid of being scolded for picking the wrong thing indeed she had hardly finished speaking when the angry voice of the chief cook called her from the back door and away she scampered down the garden path everyone noticed how absent-minded the king was at dinner that day he talked even less than usual and when the 15th course came round he turned reproachfully to the prime minister I thought I was going to have beans for dinner observed to the king in a disappointed tone your majesty has just helped himself to beans said the prime minister when he had recovered from his surprise at the king's remark what exclaimed the king looking at his plate are these the beautiful scarlet beans that grow in my kitchen garden impossible they turn green when they are cooked your majesty said the prime minister he had never seen a bean growing in his life but could not possibly have owned such a thing before the court then let me have my beans before they are cooked in the future said the king and the prime minister hastily made a note of it on his clean cuff there was a magnificent ball at the palace that evening and the king had 99 delightful princesses to dance with but none of them had dark red hair and when he had finished dancing with the 99th he once more turned reproachfully the prime minister where is the hundredth princess he demanded impatiently the prime minister knew no more about the hundredth princess than he had known about beans and he wished he had gone to bed instead of coming to the court ball to be worried by the king's questions he was too sleepy however to invent any more answers so he had to tell the truth and no doubt he would have made a much better prime minister if he had always been too sleepy to invent things that were not true but that of course has nothing to do with this story I've never heard of the hundredth princess your majesty he said wearily would it please your majesty to tell me what she is like he fully expected the king to be exceedingly angry and he wondered whether he should be beheaded at once or only imprisoned in one of the king's dungeons it was therefore a great surprise to him when the king burst out laughing and was not in the least offended I never heard of her myself until this morning said the king he has wonderful dark red hair and she is so sweet and so kind that she actually picks the vegetables for my dinner the prime minister was so relieved at not being put into a dungeon that he positively yawned in the king's presence and the king for the first time in his life noticed that he looked tired and sent him home to bed which was certainly a much nicer place to send him to than a dungeon and as for the prime minister he went on speaking the truth to the end of his days the next morning the king hastened into his garden the moment he had swallowed his breakfast the chief huntsman met him just as he was leaving the palace and asked him what time it would please him to start for the hunt hunt cried the king impatiently what hunt? I am going to pick the vegetables for my dinner and that is ever so much more important and he ran down the steps and across the lawn as never a king ran before the little scullery made was wandering among the gooseberry bushes with a very disconsolate look on her face I am looking for sage to stuff the king's ducks with she said when the king came herring towards her but I don't know a bit what it is like and how can I be expected to pick things when I don't know what to pick do not look so distressed said the king for her eyes were full of tears I am the king and I do not mind whether my ducks are stuffed or not oh but the chief cook does said the little scullery made of course had known all the while that he was the king the chief cook will beat me if I do not fill my basket with sage look this is where he beat me yesterday for bringing the wrong beans she rolled up her sleeve and showed him a tiny black speck on her dainty white arm to be sure it was not much of a bruise but when one has been an enchantress all one's life it is a little hard to be beaten for not knowing enough the king was quite overcome with distress and he stooped and kissed and marked tenderly and that as everyone knows is the only way to cure a bruise come with me he said and I will help you to find some sage then the king's ducks will be stuffed and the chief cook will not be able to beat you so the king and the scullery made wandered all over the kitchen garden and hunted for sage and the king knew just as much about it as the scullery made and the scullery made knew as much as the king and that was just exactly nothing at all and it was out that the king's ducks would never have got stuffed that day if the pair of them had not suddenly stumbled upon a bush of rosemary does it not smell sweet exclaimed the little scullery made and she picked a whole handful of it and gave it to the king surely, cried the king, anything so charming as this must be the very thing we're looking for the angry voice of the chief cook sounded once more from the back door so they did not stop to think any more about it but filled the basket with rosemary as fast as they could and then away scampered the little scullery made down the path while the king stood and watched the little curls of dark red hair that fluttered in the breeze the chief cook was far too grand a person to stuff the king's ducks so he left it to the little scullery made and the result was that the king's ducks were stuffed with rosemary there were only two people in the palace who enjoyed their dinner that day one was the king who sat at the head and had three helpings of roast duck and the other was the little scullery made who sat on the back doorstep and ate the scrapings of all the plates out of a big brown bowl as for the courtiers they never forgot that dinner as long as they lived but this is not surprising for ducks that are stuffed with rosemary are surely ducks to be remembered after that the courtiers had to eat a good many nasty things for dinner every day the chief cook sent the little scullery made into the garden picked something for the king's dinner and every day the king came and helped her to find it and although they never found the right thing and although it was generally very nasty the king always ate three helpings of it and that was all that mattered to the chief cook to be sure it was a lot of trouble to take just to please the chief cook and it would have been far simpler to have cut off his head then and there but neither the king nor the scullery made thought of that after all it was much nicer to go on meeting each other in the gooseberry bushes and it certainly saved the expense of an execution before long people began to wonder what had come over the king he never went near the royal forest and when he was not in the kitchen garden he was in the library looking for books that would tell him the difference between a banana and a turnip and the best place to find a cauliflower the chief huntsman and all the other huntsmen had never been so dull in their lives but the wild boars and all the other animals were as happy as the day was long even the rabbits began to pop up their heads above the bracken and were quite amazed when they found that no one was waiting to kill them truly they squeaked to one another the green enchantress must have bewitched the king after all and perhaps they were not far wrong now the same thing cannot go on forever and one morning when the king hastened out into the garden as usual the scullery maid saw at once that he had something important to say there is to be a ball tomorrow he told her the prime minister says so and there will be 99 princesses there besides yourself the little scullery maid shook her head I shall not be there she said I'm only a scullery maid and no one not even the fairy queen can make me into a real princess you are the hundredth princess declared the king and no one not even the fairy queen can make you into a scullery maid the 99 other princesses have never picked the vegetables for the king's dinner side the little scullery maid they would never do anything half so sweet nor so kind said the king the 99 other princesses continued the little scullery maid looking down at her crumpled print gown have never worn such an old frock as mine nor have they ever looked half so beautiful or so charming said the king the angry voice of the chief cook sounded loudly from the back door and the little scullery maid turned to run down the path as usual but this time the king caught her by the hand and held her back will you come to the ball and dance with me? he asked coaxingly she looked very sad I'm not a real princess you see she sighed the angry voice of the chief cook sounded louder than before and she pulled away her hand and escaped down the path will you come to the ball the king shouted after her perhaps left the little scullery maid over her shoulder and the next moment she was out of sight it was truly a strange way of accepting an invitation to the king's ball but then she was the hundredth princess and perhaps that made all the difference it was a most magnificent ball and the hundredth princess did come to it for just as the king finished dancing with the last of the 99 princesses a great hubbub was heard in the hall outside and into the room ran the little scullery maid and after her ran the chief cook with the soup ladle on his hand after them both came the prime minister and the chief huntsman and the lord high executioner and all the other people who were in the hall because they did not know how to dance who are you cried the 99 princesses as the little scullery maid stood in front of them all in her crumpled print gown with her green cankerchief tied over her head who are you echoed all the courtiers and all the pages who happened to be there she's nothing but a scullery maid who took brandishing his soup ladle she's the green enchantress gasped the chief huntsman you're all talking rubbish said the prime minister who had certainly lost some of his manners since he took the speaking the truth anyone can see she is the hundredth princess but it was the king who really settled the matter she is the queen of course he said gently and came and took her by the hand and no one thought of contradicting him for although real princesses have to make themselves it is quite certain that any king can make a queen when the 99 princesses saw how charming the little queen was they crowded round her with one accord and gave her 99 kisses so they were real princesses after all tell us they begged her afterwards are you really the green enchantress oh no she said I gave up being an enchantress when I found I could not bewitch the king why did you want to bewitch me dearest amazement because you were so fond of killing things she said then I will never kill anything again as long as I live and that is the end of the story for when the little rabbits heard that the king had given up hunting they all gave a great gulp and swallowed their hearts and after that there was no one in the kingdom who was not happy for everybody's heart was in the right place end of the hundredth princess by Evelyn Sharp read by Colleen McMahon Johnny Crews Garden by Leonard Leslie Brick this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org read by Chad Horner Johnny Crew would dig and sew till he made a little garden and the lion had a great and yellow tie on in Johnny Crews Garden and the rat were a feather in his hat but the bear had nothing to wear in Johnny Crews Garden so the ape took his measure with a tape in Johnny Crews Garden then the crane was caught in the rain in Johnny Crews Garden and the beaver was afraid he had a fever but the goat said it's nothing but a strut in Johnny Crews Garden and the pig danced a jig in Johnny Crews Garden then the stork gave a philosophic talk till the hippopotamide said ask no further what am I while the elephant said something quite irrelevant in Johnny Crews Garden and the goose well the goose was a goose in Johnny Crews Garden and the mouse built himself a little house where the cat sat down beside the mat in Johnny Crews Garden and the whale took a very long tail in Johnny Crews Garden and the isle was a funny old isle and the fox fit them all in the stalks in Johnny Crews Garden but Johnny Crew he let them go and they all sat down to their dinner in a row in Johnny Crews Garden goodbye End of Johnny Crews Garden by Leonard Leslie Britt Nonsense Drulleries The Isle and the Pussycat The Duck and the Kangaroo by Edward Lair The Lover Vox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit Lover Vox.org read by Chad Horner The Isle and the Pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat they took some honey and plenty of money wrapped up in a £5 note The Isle looked up to the stars above and sang to a small guitar Oh lovely Pussy, oh Pussy my love what a beautiful Pussy you are you are you are Pussy said to the Isle you elegant file quite charmingly sweet you sing oh let us be married too long we have torried but what shall we do for a ring they sailed away for a year and a day to the land where the boundary grows and there in a wood a piggy wig stood with a ring at the end of his nose his nose his nose with a ring at the end of his nose dear pig are you willing to sell so they took it away and were married next day by the turkey who lives on the hill they dined in mice and slices of quince which they ate with a runcible spoon and hand on hand on the edge of the sand they danced by the light of the moon the moon the moon they danced by the light of the moon the duck in the kangaroo said the duck to the kangaroo good gracious how you hop over the fields in the water too as if you never would stop my life is a bore in this nasty pond and I long to go out in the world beyond I wish I could hop like you said the duck to the kangaroo please give me a ride on your back said the duck to the kangaroo I would sit quite still and say nothing but quack the whole of the long day through and we'd go to the D and the jelly boat me over the land and over the sea please take me a ride oh do you said the duck to the kangaroo said the kangaroo to the duck there are some little reflections perhaps in the hall it might bring me luck and there seems but one objection which is if you let me speak so bold your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold and would probably give me the roo mats said the kangaroo said the duck as I sit on the rocks I have thought over that completely and I bought four pairs of worsted socks which fit my web feet neatly and to keep out the cold I bought a cloak and every day a cigar I'll smoke my own dear true love of a kangaroo said the kangaroo I'm ready all in the moon like peel but to balance me well dear duck said steady and quite at the end of my tail so away they went with a hop and a bind and they hopped the whole world three times round and who so happy oh who as the duck and the kangaroo end of Nonsense Drilleries the island of Pussycat the duck and the kangaroo by Edward Lear old wonder eyes Mr and Mrs L.K. Lippincott this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org read by Chad Horner once when I was in England I visited some friends who lived in a pleasant part of the country they had a fine old house filled with all sorts of beautiful things but nothing indoors was so delightful as the wide green lawn with its smooth soft turf and the garden with its labyrinths and lilies and violets and hosts and hosts of roses there was a pretty silvery fountain playing among the flowers so close to a little bar of honeysuckles that the butterflies fluttering about them had to be very careful or the first day they got their wings soaked through and through with spray about the house and grounds were all kinds of beautiful paints grey hines and spaniels and lap dogs and rare white kittens gay parrots and silver pheasants and sweet singing canaries but here in this pleasantest spot right under this honeysuckle bar all alone by himself in a large green cage sat an ugly grey oil he was the cross's surliest old fellow I ever saw in all my life I tried very hard to make friends with him but it was of no use he never treated me with decent civility and one day when I was offering him a bit of cake he caught my finger and bit it till it bled and I said to Mrs. M what do you keep that cross old creature for I noticed that my friend looked sad when she answered me and said we only keep him for our dear old little mini-sake he was her pet now I had never heard of her little mini so I asked about her and was told this story mini was a sweet gentle little girl who loved everybody and every creature that God had made and everybody and every creature she met loved her rough people were gentle to her and cross people were kindly she could go straight up vicious horses and fierce dogs and spiteful cats and they would become quiet and mild directly I don't think that anything could resist her loving ways unless it were a mad bull or a setting hen one night as mini lay awake in her bed in the nursery listening to a summer rain she heard a strange fluttering and scratching in the chimney bitty what is that funny noise up there bitty listened a moment and said sure it's nothing but a stray now he's quite gone away so go to sleep witchy my darlin mini tried to go to sleep like a good girl but after a while she heard that sound again and presently something came fluttering and scratching right down into the grate and out into the room mini called again to bitty but bitty was tired and sleepy and wouldn't wake up it was so dark she could see nothing and she felt a little strange but she was no coward and as the bird seemed very quiet she went to sleep again after a while and dreamed that great flocks of rocks were flying over her slowly slowly and making the darkness with their jet black wings she woke very early in the morning and the first thing she saw was the great grey oil perched on the bed post to her feet staring at her with his big round eyes he did not fly off when she started up in bed but only ruffled up as feathers and said who mini had never seen enough before and she was not afraid and she answered merrily you'd better say who who are you yourself you queer old wonder eyes then she woke bitty who was dreadfully frightened and called up the butler who caught the oil and put him in a cage this strange bird was always rather ill-natured and gruff to everybody but mini he seemed to take kindly to her from the first so he was called mini's pet and nobody disputed her right to him he would take food from her little hand and never peck her he would perch on her shoulder and let her take him on an airing round the garden and sometimes he would sit and watch her studying her lessons and look as wise and solemn as a learned professor till he would fall to winking and blinking and go off into a sound sleep mini grew really fond of this pet graven on social as he was but she always called him by the funny name she had given him first old wonder eyes in the wintertime little mini was taken ill and she grew worse and worse till her friends all knew that she was going to leave them very soon darling little mini was not sorry to die and she had loved everybody and every creature that god had made and she could not help loving god and she was not afraid to go to him when he called her she gave all her pets to her brothers and sisters but she said to her mother you take good care of poor old wonder eyes for he'll have nobody to love him when I am gone they all missed mini very much whenever he heard anyone coming he would cry and when he found it wasn't his friend he would ruffle up his feathers and look as though he felt himself insulted and grew crosser and crosser every day till there would have been no bearing with him as if it had not been for the memory of mini the next time I saw the old oil sitting staring and growling on his perch I understood why he was so unhappy and sullum my heart ached for him but so did the finger he had bitten and I did not venture very near to tell him how sorry I was for him when I think of him now I don't blame him but pity him for his crossness and I always say to myself poor old wonder eyes end of old wonder eyes by Mr. and Mrs. L.K. Lippincott Pig Bay by Mrs. Mary Louisa Molesworth this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Reba Jadhorn part one I am going to tell you a story that mother told us we think mother's story is far the most interesting and nicest of any we hear or read we are trying to write them all down so that our children, if ever any of us have any may know them too we mean to call them grandmother's stories one reason why they are nice is that nearly all of them are real what is called founded on fact by the time our children come to hear them mother says her stories will all have grown dreadfully old fashioned but we tell her that will make them all the nicer they will have a synth of long ago-ness about them something like the faint lavendry whiff that comes out of mother's old doll box or she keeps a few of the toys in doll's clothes she has never had the heart to part with the little story or sketch mother says it isn't worth calling a story I am going to write down now is already a long ago one or it isn't really one of mother's own stories it was told by her mother so if ever our book comes to exist this one will have to have a chapter to itself and be called great grandmother's story won't it I remember quite well what made mother tell it to us it was when we were staying in the country one year and Frankie had been frightened coming through the village by meeting a poor idiot boy who ran after us and laughed at us in a queer silly way I believe he meant to please us but Frankie's fright made her angry and she wanted nurse to speak to him sharply and tell him to get away but nurse wouldn't one should always be gentle to those so afflicted she said when we got home we told mother about it and Frankie asked her to speak to nurse adding it's very disagreeable to see people like that about I think they should always be shut up don't you mother not always mother replied of course when they are at all dangerous likely to hurt themselves or anyone else it is necessary to shut them up and if they can be taught anything as some can be it is the truest kindness to send them to an asylum where it is wonderful what patience and skill can sometimes make of them but I know about the boy in the village he is perfectly harmless even gentle and affectionate he has been at a school for such as he and has learned to knit that is the only thing they could succeed in teaching him it was no use leaving him there longer and he pined for him most sadly so was his relations are pretty well off it was the best to send him back and he is now quite content I wish I had told you about him when you meet him again you must be sure to speak kindly they say he never forgets if anyone does so her boy said Ted and I but Frankie did not look quite convinced I think he should be shut up she repeated in rather a low voice Frankie used to be a very obstinate little girl and I shan't speak to him kindly or in any way mother did not answer though she heard I know she did but in a minute or two she said would you like to hear a story about an idiot that your grandmother told me it happened when she was a little girl of course we all said yes with eagerness and this was the story Pig Betty isn't a very pretty name for a story or for a person is it but Pig Betty was a real person though I dare say none of you have the least idea what the word pig added to her own name meant said mother no none of us had we thought perhaps it was because this Betty was very lazy or greedy or even dirty but mother shook her head at all those guesses and then she went on to explain Pig in some parts of Scotland she told us means a piece of coarse crockery it is used mostly for jugs though in a general way it means any sort of crockery and long ago mother went on I think I'll give up putting mother said or mother went on and just tell it straight off as she did long ago when my mother was a little girl she and her brothers and sisters used to spend some months of every year in a rather out of the way part of Scotland there was no railway and no coach and that came within at all easy reach the nearest town was 10 or 12 miles away and even the village was two or three and a good many things ordinary common things were supplied by peddlers who walked long distances often carrying their wares upon their backs these peddlers came to be generally called by what they had to sell as a sort of nickname you may think it was a very hard life but there were a good many nice things about it they were always sure of a welcome for it was a pleasant excitement to the quiet life of the cottages and farmhouses and even of the big houses about when one of these travelling merchants appeared and they never needed to feel any anxiety about their board and lodging they could always count upon a meal or two and on a night's shelter very often they slept in the barn of the farmhouse or even sometimes in the clean corner of the cow's bire they were not very particular among these good people there were both men and women and Pearl Pig Betty was one of the latter my mother and other children used always to ask as one of their first questions when they arrived at Grey Stains that was the name of their uncle's country house on their yearly visit if Pig Betty had been there lately or if she was expected to come so one or other was pretty sure to be the case Old Betty's treasures they had several reasons for their interest in the old woman one was that they were very fond of blowing soap bubbles which they seldom got leave to do in time and they always bought a new supply of white clay pipes the first time Pig Betty appeared another was that she had what children thought very wonderful treasures hidden among the course pots and dishes and jugs made in a shapeless bundle on her bent old bag and sometimes if she were in a very good humour she would present one of the little people with a green parrot rejoicing in a whistle in its tail or with a gogolide dog reminding one of the creatures in Hans Andersen's tale of the three soldiers and the third reason was perhaps the strongest though the strangest of all part two the third reason why the children were so interested in the old peddler woman was I said the strongest though the strangest of all she was an idiot they were almost too young to understand what being an idiot really meant but they could see for themselves that she was quite unlike other people and her strangeness gave her a queer charm an attraction for them almost what is called fascination when she was at Greystance where she always stayed two or three days they were never at a loss for amusement for they did little else and run here and there to peep at her and tell over to each other the odd way she trotted about nodding and shaking her head and talking on to yourself as if she were holding long conversations it did not do to let her see they were watching her for it would have made her angry indeed several times the children had been warned not to do so and their nurse had been told to keep them out of the old woman's way but as everybody knows children are contrary creatures and in the country nurse could not keep as close a look out on them as in time then it was well known that pig Betty was very gentle even when she was angry and she did have fits of temper sometimes she had never been known to hurt anyone and of course she was not quite without sense she was able to manage her little trade well enough and to see that she was paid correctly for the pigs she sold she was able to tell the difference between Sunday and other days for on Sunday she would never travel and would often if she were near a village creep into the Kirk and sit in the corner quite quietly perhaps idiot is hardly the right word to use about her but there were a few old folk who said they had been told that she had not always been quite so strange and wanting but that a great trouble or sorrow that had happened in her family had made her so the truth was that no one knew her real story she had wondered into our part of the country from a long way off 30 or 40 years ago and as people had been kind to her there she had stayed no one knew how old she was Uncle James himself an elderly man said she had not changed the least all the years he had known her Uncle James was one of the people she had a great affection for she would stand still whenever he passed her with a kindly well betty my woman and how are you bobbing a kind of queer curtsy till he was out of sight and murmuring blessings of the Laird he never forgot her when she was at Christens always giving orders that the poor body should be made comfortable and have all she wanted one of his little kindnesses to her was the cause of a good deal of excitement to the children with Uncle James at that time gentle people dined much earlier than they do now especially in the country at Christens 4 o'clock was the regular dinner or the children used always to be nicely dressed and sent down to dessert and when Pig Betty was there Uncle James never failed to pour out a glass of wine and say now who will take this to the old woman Pig Betty knew it was coming for she always managed to be a good woman at that time and however busy the servants were they never thought of turning her out there was a good deal of superstitious awe felt about her in spite of her gentleness and the children would look at each other half wishing, half fearing to be the cup bearer I will Johnny would say and as soon as he spoke all the others followed no let me, Hughie would cry and then Maisie and Lily joined him with their I will do let me Uncle James first come first served Uncle would reply as he handed the well filled glass to Johnny or Maisie or whichever had been the first then the procession of five would set off walking slowly so as not to spell the wine down the long stone passages leading to the kitchen and offices of the old house and what usually happened was this as they got to the kitchen door Johnny supposing it was he barring the wine would go more and more slowly I don't mind after all letting you give it Maisie or Hughie he would say no thank you Johnny they would make me reply and Lily he was the most outspoken would confess I always think I would like to give it her but I do get so frightened when I see her close to me that I really darned which was in truth the feeling of all four so it was pretty sure to end by number five coming to the front was little Annette the youngest she was a sweet curly haired maiden too sunny and merry herself to know what fair meant I'll dive that poor old pig betty she always cried and so she did inside the kitchen the glass was handed to her and she trotted up to the old woman in her corner with it undismayed by the near sight of the queer wisened old face like a red and yellow withered apple and the bright piercing eyes to be seen at the end as it were of a sort of overhanging archway of shawls and handkerchiefs and queer frilled headpiece under all which betty managed in some mysterious way to half bury herself in she always murmured blessings on the child as she drank the wine and no doubt this little ceremony was the beginning of her devotion to the baby of the family this devotion was made still greater by what happened one day to some thoughtless people as well as everywhere else and once summer there came some new folk to live in one of the cottages inhabited by Uncle James's farm labourers this did not often happen as he seldom changed his people these strangers were from some distance and had never happened to come across the poor half wedded old woman and there were two or three rough boys in the family who were spoiled and wild like some ordinary people as they had lived for some time in a small town and so one day oh dear I am getting this chapter of mother's story too long I must begin a new one part three well one day as I was saying the children who had not seen Old Bay for several weeks were on their way to the village two miles off when near the corner of a lane they heard a great noise they were still shrieking which made them stare at each other and wonder and almost fear nurse was not with them they were to meet her further down the road as she had gone on first with a message to a woman who was ill what can it be said mazy they hurried on to say and the mystery was soon explained there in the midst of a little group of boys and two or three girls also I am afraid stood the poor old idiot screaming, shrieking, almost foaming with fury while first one then another darted forward and gave a pull to her skirts or jacket from behind and as quickly as she turned a fresh tormentor would catch at her from the other side all shrouding together at the top of their voices what is it this time my Lady Berry Thor, ye have him, no they were not hurting her but it was the insult she felt so keenly as to respectful treatment the simpson boys, the new corners were in the front of the fray of course for a moment the five grey stints children stood speechless with horror then johnny darted to the idiot side he did it with the best intentions but Berry confused and blinded did not distinguish him from the others and dealt him a blow which sent him staggering back as she hurled out to him, ye illford, loon, take that run johnny run, shrieked mazy which he and lill who were twins and always kept together had already done not out of cowardice but in search of help but little Annette rushed forward bad boys that you are she shouted with her little shrill baby voice that seemed to have suddenly grown commanding off with you, you shall not torment my good old Berry for though the children's mother was most careful that her speech should be english and the excitement would bring out their native tongue and as the children uttered the last words she flung her arms around the poor woman who weakened feeble as soon as her fury began to lessen tottered to the ground where they clung together the sorrow crushed aged creature and the cherub faced child sobbing in each other's arms for pig Betty had known her little friend in an instant my bonny wee leddie with her trembling fingers she untied the nodic corners of her bundle of pigs and searching for the best of her treasures the best and biggest of her whistling poles she stuffed it into Annette's hands strange to say the ruffian lead group had already dispersed and were not again seen it was soon after that that the children went back again for the winter to their London home next year saw them once more as their nurse unpacked their trunks she came upon the green parrot which Annette would never part from I wonder if pig Betty still alive she said oh yes so far as was known at Grestons she was rambling about as usual but she had not been there for some weeks fortunately for the children however it was near the time for her visit as usual here a few days after their arrival they were all out together and they happened to pass by a cottage whose owner was famed for a very choice breed of dogs he kept let's peep over the wall into Sandy's yard and see if he has any new puppies said Johnny and they all did so no there were no puppies to be seen only an older dog which the boys remembered by the name of Jog and they called out to him but Jog took no heed he was moving about the little enclosure in a queer restless way his head hanging down his tail between his legs her Jog said to you what a shame of Sandy to have gone out and left him alone for evidently there was no one at home in the cottage to tell Sandy was off for the dog doctor let's let him out said Johnny and cheer him up a bit he'll know us once he's out and they did not hear a quick but shuffling step up the lane nor a panting, quavering voice and spurns dinner ye it was pig Betty just arrived that morning and left by Sandy in charge of his cottage and the suspiciously suffering Jog a charge she was quite able for let no one going near him Sandy had said and my woman just ye sit at the gate there to line back I'll no be lang but alas the children had come round by the fields behind the cottage it was too late the yard gate was opened and Jog after sniffing and turning about came slowly out poor old Joggy said a net always fearless, stripping to stroke him he turned upon her with a dreadful groil he was not yet quite mad but the poison was in him and in another instant deadly fangs would have been in the baby's tender flesh but for the well-aimed blue which flung the dog back though only for a moment it was Betty dashing at him with her bundle of pigs the only weapon at hand the poor pigs smashing and crashing but they only diverted Jog's attack when Sandy and the dog doctor came rushing up she was on the ground and Jog had already bitten her in two or three places but all she said was my wee lelly, hud him off my wee lelly and they were able to secure him so that no one else was bitten no, Betty did not die of phobia, she lived for a few months no, no longer her old nerves and feeble frame had got their death blow but she was tenderly cared for in a peaceful corner of the hospital at the neighbouring town Uncle James and the children's parents took care that she should want for nothing and as her bodily strength failed her mind seemed to clear well, when little the net was taken to say goodbye to the brave old woman, poor pig Betty was able to whisper a word or two of loving hope that she and her wee lelly might meet again in the better land End of Pig Bay by Mrs. Mary Louisa Molesworth The Absurd ABC by Walter Creme This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Read by Chad Horner A for the apple or alphabet pie, which all get a slice of, come taste it and try B is the baby who gave Mr. Bunting for many a long day's rabbit skin hunting, save for the cat that played on the fiddle when cows jumped higher than hey diddle diddle D for the dame with her pig at the style to said they got over but not yet a while E for the Englishman ready to make fast the giant who wanted to have him for breakfast F for the frog in the story you know begun with the wig but ended in woe G for Gussy Gander who wandered upstairs I've met the old man who objected to prayers H for her humbly who after his fall felt obliged to resign his seat on the wall I for the inn where they wouldn't give beer to one with too much and no money I fear J does for Perjack and also for Jell who had so disastrous a tumble down hill K for Cam Kitty at dinner who sat while all the good folks watched the dog and the cat L for little man gun and bullets complete who shot the per duck and was proud of the feet M for Miss Muffet who with that horrid spider just dropped into tea and a chant beside her N for the numerous children they who were often too much for their mother in shoe O the old person that cobwebs sits by and went up to sweep them O ever so high P for the pie made of black words to sing a song fit for supper a dish for a king Q for Queen Anne who sat in the sun till she more than the lily resembled the bun R stands for Richard M for men who didn't get up one by morning till 10 S for the snail that showed wonderful fight putting no less than 24 tailors to flight T stands for Tom the son of the Piper may his principles change as his years grow riper U for the unicorn keeping his eye on the coveted crown and its council of the lion B for the fictional including the drink the old woman lived on surprising to think W for the woman who not over nice made very short work of the three lined mice X is the X that is found upon buns which daughters not liking may come in for sons Y for Yankee Doodle of ancient renown both he and his pony that took him to town Z for the zany who looked like a foal for when he was young he neglected his girl end of the absurd ABC by Walder Crane The Burning House by Laura Elizabeth Pie Richards This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org read by Chad Horner Some neighbours were walking together in the cool of the day watching the fall of the twilight and talking of this and that and as they walked they saw at a little distance a light as it were a house on fire from the direction that must be our neighbour William's house said one ought we not to warn him of the danger I see only a little flame said another perchance it may go out of itself and no harm done I should be loath to carry ill news said a third it is always a painful thing to do William is not a man who welcomes interference said a fourth I should not like to be the one to intrude upon his privacy probably he knows about the fire and is managing it in his own way while they were talking the house burned up end of the burning house by Laura Elizabeth Pie Richards The Emperor's New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings can be found in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org The Emperor's New Clothes Many years ago there was an Emperor who was so excessively fond of new clothes that he spent all his money in dress He did not trouble himself in the least about his soldiers nor did he care to go either to the theatre or the chase except for the opportunities then afforded him for displaying his new clothes He had a different suit for each hour of the day and as of any other king or emperor one is accustomed to say he is sitting in council It was always said of him the Emperor is sitting in his wardrobe Time passed merrily in the large town which was his capital Strangers arrived every day at the court One day two rogues calling them weavers made their appearance They gave out that they knew how to weave stuffs of the most beautiful colours and elaborate patterns The clothes manufactured from which the wonderful property of remaining invisible to everyone who was unfit for the office he held or who was extraordinarily simple in character These must indeed be splendid clothes thought the Emperor Had I such a suit I might at once find out what men in my realms are unfit for their office and also be able to distinguish the wise from the foolish This stuff must be woven for me immediately and he caused large sums of money to be given up to both the weavers in order that they might begin their work directly So the two pretended weavers set up two looms and affected to work very busily so in reality they did nothing at all They asked for the most delicate silk and the pure scald thread put both into their own knapsacks and then continued their pretended work at the empty looms until late at night I should like to know how the weavers are getting on with my cloth sent the Emperor to himself after some little time had elapsed He was however rather embarrassed when he remembered that a simpleton or one unfit for his office would be unable to see the manufacture To be sure he thought he had nothing to risk in his own present but yet he would prefer sending somebody else to bring him intelligence about the weavers and their work Before he troubled himself in the affair all the people throughout the city had heard of the wonderful property the cloth was to possess and all were anxious to learn how wise or how ignorant their neighbours might prove to be I will send my faithful old minister to the weavers said the Emperor at last after some deliberation He will be best able to see how the cloth looks for he is a man of sense and no one can be more suitable for his office than he is So the faithful old minister went into the hall where the naïves were working with all their might at their empty looms What can be the meaning of this thought the old man opening his eyes very wide I cannot discover the least bit of threat on the looms however he did not express his thoughts out loud The imposters requested him very courtlessly to be so good as to come nearer to their looms and then asked him whether the design pleased him and whether the colours were not very beautiful at the same time pointing to the empty frames The poor old minister looked and looked he could not discover anything on the looms for a very good reason vis there was nothing there What he thought again is it possible that I am a simpleton I have never thought so myself and no one must know it now if I am so Can it be that I am unfit for my office No that must not be said either I will never confess I cannot see the stuff Well sir minister said one of the naïves still pretending to work You do not say whether this stuff pleases you Oh it is excellent replied the old minister looking at the looms through his spectacles This pattern and the colours Yes I will tell the emperor without delay how very beautiful I think them We shall be much obliged to you said the imposters and then they named the different colours and described the pattern of the pretendant stuff The old minister listened attentively to their words in order that he might repeat them to the emperor and then the naïves asked for more silk and gold saying that it was necessary to complete what they had begun However they put all that was given to them into their knapsacks and continued to work with as much apparent diligence as before at their empty looms The emperor now said another officer of his court to see how the men were getting on and to ascertain whether the cloth would soon be ready It was just the same with this gentleman as with the minister He surveyed the looms on all sides could see nothing at all but the empty frames Does not the stuff appear as beautiful to you as it did to my lord the minister asked the imposters of the emperor's second ambassador at the time making the same gestures as before and talking of the design and colours which were not there I am certainly not stupid thought the messenger I must be the time not fit for my good profitable office It was very odd however no one shall note anything about it and accordingly he praised the stuff he could not see and declared that he was delighted with both colours and patterns Indeed please your imperial majesty he said to his sovereign when he returned the cloth which the weavers are preparing is extraordinarily magnificent The whole city was talking of the splendid cloth which the emperor had ordered to be woven at his own expense and now the emperor himself wished to see the costly manufacture while it was still in the loom accompanied by a select number of officers of the court among whom were the two honest men who had already admired the cloth he went to the crafty imposters who as soon as they were aware of the emperor's approach went on working more diligently than ever they still did not pass a single thread through the looms It's not the work absolutely magnificent said the two officers of the crown already mentioned If your majesty will only be pleased to look at it what a splendid design what glorious colours and at the same time they pointed to the empty frames for they imagined that everyone else could see this exquisite piece of workmanship How is this the emperor said to himself I can see nothing this is indeed a terrible affair Am I a simpleton or am I unfit to be an emperor that would be the worst thing that could happen Oh the cloth is charming he said out loud it has my complete approbation and he smiled most graciously and looked closely at the empty looms for on no account he would say that he could not see what the two officers of his court had praised so much all his retinue now strained to their eyes hoping to discover something on the looms but they could see no more than the others nevertheless they all exclaimed oh how beautiful and advised his majesty to have some new clothes made from the splendid material for the approaching precision magnificent charming excellent resounded on all sides and everyone was uncommonly gay the emperor shared in the general satisfaction and presented the imposters with the ribband of an order of knighthood to be worn in their buttonholes and the title of gentlemen weavers the robes sat up the whole of the night before the day on which the possession was to take place they had 16 lights burning so that everyone might see how anxious they were to finish the emperor's new suit they pretended to roll the cloth off the looms cut the air with their scissors and sewed needles without any thread in them see cried they at last the emperor's new clothes are ready and now the emperor with all the grandees of his court came to the weavers and the robes raised their arm as if in the act of holding something up saying here are your majesty's trousers here is the scarf here is the mantle the whole suit is as light as a cobweb one fancy one has nothing on at all when dressing it that however it is the great virtue of this delicate cloth yes indeed said all the courtiers although none of them could see anything of this exquisite manufacture if your imperial majesty will be graciously pleased to take off your clothes we will fit on the new suit in front of the looking glass the emperor was accordingly undressed and the robes pretended to array him in his new suit the emperor turning round from side to side before the looking glass how splendid his majesty looks in his new clothes and how well they fit everyone cried out what a design what colours these are indeed royal robes the canopy which is to be born over your majesty in their precision is waiting announced the chief master of ceremonies I am quite ready answered the emperor do my new clothes fit well asked he turning himself round again before the looking glass in order that he might appear to be examining his handsome suit the lords of the bed chamber who were to carry his majesty's train felt about on the ground as if they were lifting up the ends of the mantle and pretended to be carrying something for they would by no means betray anything like simplicity or unfitness for their office so now the emperor walked under his high canopy in the midst of the precision through the streets of his capital and all the people standing by and those at the windows cried out oh how beautiful are our emperor's new clothes what a magnificent train there is to the mantle and how gracefully the scarf hangs in short no one would allow that he could not see these much admired clothes because in doing so he would have declared himself either a simpleton or unfit for his office certainly none of the emperor's various suits had ever made so great an impression as these invisible ones but the emperor has nothing at all on said a little child listen to the voice of innocence exclaimed his father and what the child had said was whispered from one to another but he has nothing on it all at last cried out all the people the emperor was vexed for he knew that the people were right but he thought the position must go on now and the lords of the bed chamber took greater pains than ever to appear holding up a train although in reality there was no train to hold end of the emperor's new clothes read by Anna Pinter by Randolph Caldicott this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org read by chat order the milk maid an old song exhibited and explained many designs by our Caldicott a lady said to her son a poor young squire he must seek a wife with a fortune where are you going my pretty maid I'm going a milking sir she said shall I go with you my pretty maid oh yes if you please count sir she said what is your father my pretty maid my father's a farmer sir she said shall I marry you my pretty maid oh thank you kindly sir she said but what is your fortune my pretty maid my face is my fortune sir she said then I can't marry you my pretty maid nobody asked you sir she said nobody asked you sir she said sir she said nobody asked you sir she said End of The Milkmaid by Randolph Cultigate


Greetings, folks, and welcome to the Mac Observers, Mac GeekGab, the show where you send in your questions, your tips, your cool stuff found. We organize those into an agenda. The goal is, despite the tangents, we are almost certainly going to take the goal is and remains that each of us learns at least five new things. Every single time we get together.


Hi, Professor Friedman back again. We've already spoken about production possibilities frontiers, remember? They are lines relating how much output you can get of one thing, the other thing, or some combination in between. So you could grow poppies, or you could grow roses. You could have all your land on roses, and you'll have a certain number of roses. Or you'll land on poppies, you have a certain amount of poppies. Or allocate your land in between, and you'll get different combinations. The production possibility frontier can be a useful concept. You could imagine at night, you could have nine hours sleeping, get a lot of sleep, or you could spend nine hours having sex, if you're lucky enough to be in that situation. And you could have a combination of sex with sleep, nine hours of sex, nine hours of sleep, eight hours of sex, one hour of sleep, some combination that adds up to nine hours. Now this production possibility frontier can be drawn on a graph on the assumption that you are using your time efficiently, and you only have a certain amount of time. So you cannot have 10 hours of sleep and six hours of sex, because you don't have 16 hours, you have only nine. So you cannot be beyond the frontier. You can only go as far as the frontier. Second, we assume, or not me, some economists assume, that you will be at your frontier.  That would be inefficient.  This is a story about a faculty member walking down the street with a graduate student. Graduate student sees a $50 bill lying on the sidewalk and reaches down to pick it up. The faculty member rebukes her and says, don't bother. And she says, why is there $50 there? Faculty member says, if there was really $50 there, somebody else would have picked it up already. That's the logic behind the assumption that you will never be inefficient and within your production possibility frontier. You'll always be at the frontier, because why would you waste time? Why wouldn't somebody else have already picked up the $50 bill? OK, so you have the downward-sloping production possibility frontier. You can do one thing or the other. You'll never be beyond it, and you'll never be within it. Sex and sleep are substitutes to one or the other. They're not compliments where one thing helps you with the other. People are always on the frontier. Both of these assumptions are wrong for most social activities. And most of what we care about in the economy is social.  Will you always be on the frontier? If you buy yourself, well, yeah. What else is there to do but be efficient? But once you're involved with other people, think about it. Are you always optimizing, maximizing your well-being when you're with your friends? Would you sometimes waste time quarreling, not expressing your needs fully, not expressing them in a way that others can hear and understand, waiting for somebody else to do what you wish they would do but never telling them? People make mistakes in their social actions all the time. That's why we have a field called psychology. They have a building over there and a bigger faculty than the economics department with a much larger budget because they deal with people being within the frontier. Is the line downward sloping? What do you feel after you've had a really good social interaction with the partner of your choice? You might feel really good. You might sleep better. The sex-sleep production possibility frontier may be upward-sloping. Indeed, there are a whole range of social actions including many social production processes where people are more productive in everything if they work together. This production possibility frontier for sex and sleep and many other things may be upward-sloping. These are compliments.  Have a good nap. Thank you.