Hi, good afternoon. I feel like the teacher. Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Deputy Mayor Ann Williams-Issum, and I'm the Deputy Mayor of Health and Human Services. And I'm very happy to be here again to do our weekly briefing on asylum seekers. This week, we are actually going to focus on the process of emergency sheltering. There's many different parts of this crisis. There's the front door and the emergency sheltering, making sure that no one sleeps on the street. There's what happens with people when they're there. There are legal strategies, how we're connecting people to services and benefits. And then there's the exit strategy about how do we make sure that people get what they came here for, connected to work, connected to a place for them and their family to settle. I'm joined today by Commissioner Escul from the Emergency Management Department and our newest commissioner, maybe, Commissioner Molly Park from our Department of Social Services. I want to acknowledge the incredible work that these two, as they represent in all of the organizations, you know, people have talked about, it seems like it's chaotic, it seems like there's no plan. It has been an emergency and the city has really stepped up in a collaborative way and a caring way with compassion to make sure that they're working together to do what needs to get done. So I want to thank Molly and Zach and their teams for the work that they have done. To me, it is the best of government, it is a whole of government approach, and it really shows what we can do when we put our mind to it. From the first time last year when asylum seekers came to New York City, we did everything that we could to support children and families and individuals and to help them find shelter. And as this crisis has continued in the absence of support from other people, we've just done everything that we can do to open up over 155 emergency sites in over a year and just a staggering number as we keep on talking about that. And to continue to do the things that we need to do to make sure that no one is sleeping on the streets and that we have what we need. Before I turn it over to Commissioner Park in Iskill, I'd like to just go over the numbers for this week. We currently have more than 45,800 people in our care. Over 72,000 people have come into our intake centers since the beginning of this crisis last spring. Just this past week alone we've had 2,200 additional new asylum seekers come through our system. We've opened 157, that's the total emergency sites including nine humanitarian relief centers, which means that currently we have over 90,000, 95,000 people in the city's care. Let me say that again and I don't want Commissioner Park to fall off the chair but when we came into this administration I think we were a little over 45,000 people who are in our care right now. We are at 95,000 people in our care. This city continues to do whatever we need to do to support the asylum seekers but we have reached a point where the system is buckling and so we wanna make sure that we're doing everything that we can to make sure that we are able to provide the quality of care that we want to for our newly arriving New Yorkers and the New Yorkers are here. So with that, I will turn it over to Commissioner Park to say a few words. Thank you, Deputy Mayor. I'm Molly Wasso Park. I'm the commissioner of the Department of Social Services which is comprised of the Department of Homeless Services and the Human Resources Administration. First and foremost, I wanna take a moment to thank the thousands of city workers and incredible frontline staff at the Department of Homeless Services for the work they've been doing day in and day out. In all of this, we often forget, or at best take for granted, the unparalleled dedication of our frontline staffers who've been showing up every day as the number of people in DHS's care has almost doubled in a year. DHS operates the majority of the city is more than 150 emergency sites and since this crisis began last spring, DHS has worked to bring sites online at a breakneck speed, literally bringing sites online overnight in some cases to meet the enormous need that we have seen. Just by way of contrast during COVID, we opened 87 emergency sites, primarily in hotels.  People often think that opening a shelter is like flipping on a light switch, but it really is not. Everything from furniture to staffing, food delivery and services need to be organized, coordinated and brought online, often on short notice if we receive more asylum seekers on a given day than we expected. Our frontline staff already had demanding jobs before this crisis and they've been working around the clock at our emergency sites, at intake centers to make sure that we can get people what we need. We sometimes talk about city staff working tirelessly, but actually I really know that our team is tired. The last year has pushed the agency and its staff in unprecedented ways. I wanna reiterate how important it is to fully appreciate the scale and scope of the response the New York City government has delivered and continues to deliver, despite the ongoing challenges and the dire resource constraints we are facing, a response unlike any other in the country. The DHS census alone is at more than 81,000 today. As of the start of this administration, as the Deputy Mayor mentioned, the census was around 45,000. DHS's shelter census has nearly doubled over the short span of a year. But remember that the numerous agencies now have a role in providing shelter to asylum seekers. So the total census across all city agencies is now more than 95,000. So it actually is more than double what it was a year ago. Our agency has effectively been responding to a humanitarian crisis while also ensuring that New Yorkers experiencing homelessness continue to receive the supports that they need as we work to help them achieve long-term housing stability. I've worked in city government a long time and I've never seen such an extraordinary effort of this nature and scale. And while we have stepped up, I wanna be very clear, as the Mayor and the Deputy Mayor have said, we've reached our limit of new spaces to open. The city needs additional financial and operational resources so that we can provide people with the dignity and compassion that they deserve. Thank you. Thank you, Commissioner Park. Commissioner Iskel. Yep, thank you, Deputy Mayor. So first off, I just wanna echo the Deputy Mayor's comments and Commissioner Park's about the remarkable effort that's taking place and the public servants that are doing incredible work behind the scenes. This has been a 24-7 operation. The work that they are doing is remarkable. And I couldn't be prouder to serve alongside them and I will also say, Deputy Mayor, that leadership starts at the top. I have worked alongside and worked for some amazing battlefield commanders in combat. I would put Deputy Mayor Williams Isom right at the top of that list. Seeing the work she does behind the scenes. I still remember the first meeting when you really pulled us all together when the first buses were arriving last August. You said a clear moral compass for us that we're gonna be responsible for people's health and safety and that we're gonna meet this need. And so thank you for your leadership during this time. Emergency Management 101 is that when the local municipality has sort of maxed out its resources, we really turn to the state and then the federal government for help. And we've largely been alone in this effort. We've turned around to hand off the football, looking for help and it has not really been there. This means that that has required a lot of improvisation and adaptation on the part of the city. That has been happening both through the work being done by our colleagues at Department of Social Services, at health and hospitals and also within our own agency, City Hall and other partners. One of the things that we have had to do earlier this month as we really ran out of space at some of our sites, we took the model that we use at New York City Emergency Management to develop, to open up coastal storm shelters and adapted that to provide a temporary place for us to shelter asylum seekers as they are waiting for placement in other facilities. I wanna be very clear that these locations are not permanent places. They're not long-term or even mid-term solutions. They are waiting rooms, they're temporary placement while we wait for other spaces to open up for us to move people to. So we adapted our coastal storm shelter model to meet the needs of that population to provide them a safe place for a very, very short period of time. The team has also been working to help identify sites. We currently have close to 750 prospects under review or in the process of being reviewed as we look for other places to put people. And finally, I just wanna emphasize what I said at the beginning. We really do need help. The federal government has shown before whether it was Vietnamese refugees, whether it was after the 2010 earthquake, the recent Afghan crisis after Hurricane Katrina that it has the capacity to help to move large numbers of people, resettle them around the country. It has been done before and it could be done here and should not just be on the shoulders of New York City as the mayor has said. So thank you and back over to you, Deputy Mayor. Thank you, Commissioner Isco. You were reminding us as when we started this and I think it was so important for us to set our moral compass. So thank you for saying that. I don't know about a battlefield commander, but I know that I lead with love. This is personal to many of us. My family came here from the Caribbean. I know what it was like for my mom to come as a victim of domestic violence to this country and what she needed for her small children. And so when we make these decisions and everyone says it seems chaotic, it seems like you're not doing the right thing, we're doing it because we wanna make sure that there's no one sleeping on the street, that people get what they need. We've been primarily doing it by ourselves. We think that that's unfair. We think that others need to step up and help us to do this. We wanna keep the quality of our care as we would want for any of our family members of any folks that come here. We're not gonna be perfect. We want insights, we need sites, we need other places to go, but no one can say that we're not doing this with the best interests of people in mind. And I think that is proven by the fact that we don't have anyone sleeping on the streets. We need a national decompression strategy. We need more sites outside of the city and we need more coordination assistance and financial support from the federal government. With that, I'll take questions now. Earlier today, the budget director was speaking at a breakfast and he was asked about reimbursement from the federal government. And he said, city officials had heard from FEMA that in the upcoming tranche of cash, as expected later this year, no single municipality will receive more than 10% of the funds. So initially the city, he continued to say, initially the city was under the impression that New York would be getting a large share of $800 million. So I'm wondering if you can provide a little more detail on when the messaging from FEMA changed and 10% works out to a little more than $30 million again. Is that enough? So I'm not gonna be able to give more details. I'll have to check with the director, Jiha, about what he was talking about. But I think everyone can see that New York City is really taking a disproportionate amount of the folks that are coming here. And so $30 million is really a drop in the bucket. It is not sufficient for something that we think is gonna be, I think the number is now $4.3 billion of expenses to New York City. I think anyone can understand that just that math does not work out. So I think we need more support, financial support. We need a decompression strategy. And yeah, I'll get the information about when we think that changed from FEMA. Yeah, I did. We did a story over the weekend on my trip around Sunday or Monday, when I'm ready to start, but it was about this call. Some elected officials are making they feel like the mayor should be doing more to enlist landlords with vacant apartments to help house the migrants. And I talked to some folks after the story, landlords, folks that represent them who kind of painted this picture of them having a lot more leverage than the city would have. And in terms of negotiating terms for that, right? So I'm trying to get a sense of where that is. Like what the city thinks is fair. What kind of feedback you guys are getting from landlords as far as like what they think is feasible, fair to them. If they were gonna, whether it's short or midterm, get their places set up to house migrants. I'm gonna give it to you in a minute, but what I'm gonna say is that I think, I don't think everything is on the table right now. And so any suggestions that we're getting from people we are exploring, some of that is in the public eye, some of it is not, but this idea of what buildings are available, how do we get buildings up and ready is a very complicated process. And so commissioners Park, do you wanna add to that? Yes, thank you. So helping households relocate from the shelter system to permanent housing is top of mind for the Department of Social Services every day. It's something we are incredibly focused on using an array of different tools. And we're working with landlords in a lot of different creative ways to try and make sure that there are permanent housing options for New Yorkers leaving the shelter system and asylum seekers when they qualify for housing subsidies as well. I think it's really important that, while we are looking at all of the options for housing are asylum seekers that we're also not taking housing and particularly not affordable housing out of the stock, particularly when we're in an incredibly tight housing market to use as shelter. We wanna make sure that we are focused on the goals both of meeting people's emergency needs, but also the long-term housing needs of anybody experiencing homelessness. So balancing, you have to balance that. Deputy Mayor, so you said that 2,200 people have arrived within the last week. Do we know where those people are coming from and what's going on with Texas? My colleague in El Paso said that the Mayor there says that he has a great relationship with Mayor Adams. Are they still working together to coordinate buses coming in? And if so, how many buses are coming from busses? So thank you for asking that question. And so you know that we've tried not to necessarily just talk about buses because over these past couple of months, we're seeing people come from a variety of different places. So it's not just directly from the border and not just directly on buses, but there's folks coming in from the airport and other ports of entry. We've also seen, as I've said before, people coming in from other cities in the United States. And so I think it's a combination of all of those things, whether it's Denver or Chicago or Houston, that people are coming in from other states as states are finding that they're full and sending them to New York City in addition to people coming here from the border. From what I've heard from El Paso, things look like they're a little calm now and we've been in contact with them, but we don't necessarily get information about every time a bus comes and when there's a bus might be coming. They're giving, we are getting information about it. It may not necessarily be coming from the Texas government per se. The city considered rebuilding that herd facility that was at Randall's Island. Is that closer to being, like is that even, like where would that stand at this point as a possibility if so? I'm gonna give it to you commissioner, but I'm also gonna say how many sites did you say that we've looked at? I think it's well over 700, close to 750 sites. So everything is on the table. You've heard us say that before. It really is, everything's on the table. I think when we look at sites, there's a number of factors that we need to look at. Some of its cost, some of its location, the amount of infrastructure that needs to be put in place, seasonal use of different places, right? So Brooklyn Cruise Terminal wasn't available earlier last fall, became available when the cruise ship season ended. And then we had to shut it down once the cruise ship season started again. You look at a place like Randall's Island, again, there's a lot of seasonal use out there. And so that just factors into a lot of the decisions around different sites. But yes, everything is, still remains on the table. A big data question, this number in our care, does that include people that were sent to hotels in other cities since the city is paying for that? Or is that a separate number? And if so, how many people? I don't think that's included in the data number, but we could, we'll get back to you on that. Can I ask an actual question? Can you, you know, we've seen you open up respite centers, which are mostly for adults. I wonder if you can give us an update on how Roosevelt's hotel is looking, or is there enough space for adult, for families with children? And what will the city do if that is full? So should I hand it over to you, even though it's an H and H, from what I understand the Rosa, I know we're looking for Dr. Long. I think H and H is actually we're very excited to have Roosevelt open as a arrival center, where we're able to process people, make sure that we get the data that we need, able to give them a survey so that we can figure out where they came from, whether or not what their paperwork looks like, getting people connected so we can make sure that they're getting connected to legal services. I don't, the building is not completely full. I think that we still have some room there. I think every day I'm worried about capacity. There's not a day that I go to bed where I'm not like, ooh, do we have enough for tonight? And I think for families with children in particular, I'm a little worried every night about whether or not we have enough room. I speak to Commissioner Park every morning, and sometimes there's a little relief for the DHS system if folks are able to go to the Roosevelt, which I think we've been seeing over these past two weeks, which is a blessing. But yeah, I don't know if I answered your question, but we're always worried about capacity, and there is still some room there. Deputy Mayor, two questions. Out of the 72,000 who've arrived since the spring, how many of them have actually filed for asylum? And then second, how much progress have you made with neighboring counties in asking them or persuading them to take some of the low from the city? So from the data that I have, and I shouldn't, I'm looking at them because they're gonna get mad at me, it looks like very few people have applied for asylum, so we need to make sure that again, we're getting people the information that they need, so we're gonna be working on that, and we're doing some door knocking and working with our legal providers on that. Probably a lot of different reasons, probably people have come here, they've been nervous, they probably didn't know where to get connected to services, didn't know who to give their paperwork to. Molly, do you have other ideas? Yeah, it's a fairly complex legal form with some fairly serious consequences if you fill it out wrong. So I think there is a lot of anxiety and concern there, and I think about how challenging it can be for me to fill out government paperwork with the career in government and as a native speaker of English, and I can certainly imagine it would be very daunting if those are not true for you. And the second question is, we're gonna continue to work with our out-of-city partners to see how many people we can place there, working with the state on a decompression strategy for families with children that we're hoping that's gonna happen over the summer, so we're hopeful that we can still partner with folks in order to really make sure that the asylum seekers get to be settled in the way that that really shows them care and the care and dignity that they deserve. I think that we are still making progress. I think it's difficult. I think people are anxious about this, and I think we wanna show people that these are wonderful people who've came here to work and who want to be settled, and I think that we will continue to make progress as people understand that more. Thank you. Providing that breakdown, especially as you're making the argument that the numbers have become unsustainable, that you need the federal funding that we need to suspend right to shelter. Why not provide more data rather than less in this moment? So it was my understanding that we continue to provide by numbers twice a week and that we never stopped doing that, and I think it's probably confusing as some people sometimes what's in the DHS system, which everybody can see and people know that number, what's in the HERC systems. When we opened the emergency sites, we know that we were counting those, but people were moving out of those pretty quickly, so we wanna just make sure that we're being very accurate with our numbers, and I don't think that there was a stopping of reporting of data, but we're doing the best that we can to make sure that the data is accurate and that we are making sure that we're being transparent with the public. What do we expect to resume for the next number? It's been my understanding that we've always been reporting that data on twice a week, so we will continue to do that. I'm just round to desk you here. For example, the Albany County Executive over the weekend talking about this micro crisis and calling it a New York City problem rather than a New York State problem. Wanna start? Sure, so we are hopefully opening up a state facility imminently. I'm hoping that occurs in the next day or two in terms of frustrations with upstate executives or politicians, I'd defer back to the Deputy Mayor. Well, I was gonna say, I think that we are victims of our own success where people think this is a New York City problem, it's not a New York City problem, it's a national problem, and we just wanna be clear that it's a national problem, and we think it deserves a national solution. Is it a New York State problem? I think it's a national problem, and I think that we all should be rolling up our sleeves, the city, state, and the federal government in order to deal with that. I mean, kind of following up on the same theme, it just seems like some other counties in the state continue to complain about a lack of coordination with the city and Albany County in particular.  So what, well, I can imagine that people are probably used to having months and months in order to plan for something like this. We don't have months and months to plan for it, as we just hear, we get people coming, we get a bus, and things have to turn over very quickly, but we've been in contact with everyone, everyone knows that we're talking about thousands of people. The people that we're asking them to take is less than one quarter of 1% of the people that are here in New York City. I know it's a big deal to them, but I think that I would stand by that we are giving people a heads up, we are coordinating, we are communicating, but I know how people must feel, because that's how we felt a year ago when we just saw people coming here and felt like we weren't prepared for it. Currently sending any to other counties in the state that you can tell us? I think we're gonna continue our program as we're doing because we think it's the right thing to do, especially as we run out of sites here in New York City. It is. That's okay. It fluctuates depending on how many people are in and how many people were able to move out.


forward of bib ballads this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Jack Thrill bib ballads by Ringlardner forward dear parents don't imagine please it's in a boastful spirit I fashion verses such as these that's not the truth or near it a hundred or a thousand yes a million kids there may be who aren't one iota less attractive than this baby I'll venture that your household has as valuable a treasure as mine but mine I know and as for yours I've not that pleasure and that is why my books about just one oh dads and mothers but babes are babes and mine no doubt is very much like others the author end of forward recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section one of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by Ringlardner section one goodbye bill dollar bill that I've held so tight ever since payday a week ago shall I purchase with you tonight a pair of seats at the vaudeville show hark a voice from the easy chair look at his shoes we must buy a pair dollar bill from the wreckage saved tell me how shall I squander you shall I be shined shampooed and shaved singed and trimmed around the edges to hark a voice from the easy chair he hasn't a romper that's fit to wear dollar bill that I cherished so think of the cigarettes you'd buy Turkish ones with a kick you know makins eventually tire a guy hark a voice from the easy chair look at those stockings just one big tear dollar bill it is time to part what do I care for a vaudeville show I'll shave myself and look just as smart makins aren't so bad you know dollar bill we must say goodbye there on the floor is the reason why end of section one recording by Jack through Tokyo Japan section two of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack through bib ballads by ring lardner a visit from young gloom there's been a young stranger at our house a baby whom nobody knew who hated his brother his father his mother and made them aware of it too he stayed with us nearly a fortnight and carried a grouch all the while nor promise nor present could make him look pleasant he hadn't the power to smile he cried when he couldn't have something he cried just as hard when he could kind words by the earful but made him more tearful and scoldings did just as much good he stormed when his meals weren't ready and when they were ready he screamed he went to bed growling got up again howling and quarrel and snarl as he dreamed he's gone and the child we are fond of is back just as nice as of old but I hope to be in some port European the next time he has a bad cold end of section to recording by Jack through Tokyo Japan section three of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section three an appreciative audience my son I wish that it were half as easy to extract a laugh from grown-ups as from the then I go on the stage my boy while Richard Carl and Eddie Foy burned up with jealousy I wouldn't have to rack my brain or lie awake all night in vain pursuit of brand-new jokes nor fear my lines were heard with groans of pain and sympathetic moans from sympathetic folks I'd merely have to make a face just twist a feature out of place and be the soul of wit or bark and then pretend to bite and from the screams of wild delight be sure I'd made a hit end of section three recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section four of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section four discipline he couldn't have a doughnut and it made him very mad he undertook to get revenge by screaming at his dad cut out that noise I ordered and he gave another roar and so I put him in the room and shut and locked the door I left him in his prison cell two minutes just about and penitent he smiled at me when I did let him out but when he got another look at the forbidden fruit he gave a yell that they could hear in Jacksonville or Butte cut out that noise I barked again cut out that fog horn stuff perhaps I didn't leave you in your prison long enough you want your dad to keep you jailed all afternoon I guess he smiled at me and answered his equivalent for yes end of section four recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section five of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section five inexpensive guests I wonder how to would make you feel my fellow food providers to have as guests at every meal three count them three outsiders well that's the case with me but still I don't complain or holler for strange to say the grocery bill has not gone up a dollar these guests of ours to make it brief can't really chew or swallow they're merely dolls called Indian chief and funny man and Ralo end of section five recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section six of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section six his sense of humor perhaps in some respects it's true that you resemble dad to be informed I look like you would never make me mad but one thing I am sure of son you have a different line of humor your idea of fun is not a bit like mine you drop my slippers in the sink and leave them there to soak that's very laughable you think but I can't see the joke you take my hat outdoors with you and fill it full of earth you seem to think that's witty too but I'm not moved to mirth you open up the chicken yard it's inmates run a mile you giggle but I find it hard to force one half a smile no kid I fear your funny stuff though funny it may be is not quite delicate enough to make a hit with me end of section six recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section seven of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section seven speech economy since he began to talk and sing I've learned one interesting thing the value of a verb is small in fact it has no worth at all why waste the breath required to say while toddling through the park today I saw a bird up in a tree when tree pock bird does splendidly why should one say please pass the bread when ba ba me is easier said and why I'm starved have supper quick when lunch yelled loudly does the trick why I've been riding on a train when bye bye choo choo makes it plain let words be few the poet Seth so leave out words and save your breath end of section 7 recording by Jack throw section 8 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 8 welcome to spring spring you are welcome for you are the friend of fathers of all little girlies and chaps spring you are welcome for you mean the end of bundling them up in their cold weather wraps breeze their apparent of masculine gender one whose young hopeful is seven or less who never has cursed the designer and vendor of juvenile out-of-doors wintertime dress leggings and overcoat rubbers that squeeze on mittens and sweater a trifle too small not in the lot is one thing you can ease on one that's affixed with no trouble at all spring you are welcome thrice welcome to father not for your flowers and birds I'm afraid as much as your promised relief from the bother of bundling the kid for the daily parade end of section 8 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 9 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 9 taste I can't understand why you pass up the toys that Santa considered just right for small boys I can't understand why you turn up your nose at dogs hobby horses and treasures like those and play a whole hour sometimes longer than that with the thing as prosaic as daddy's old hat the tables and shelves have been loaded for you with volumes of pictures they're pretty ones too of birds beasts and fishes and old mother goose repines in a corner and feels like the juice while you on the floor quite contentedly look at page after page of the telephone book end of section 9 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 10 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 10 riddles if it's fun to take books from the bookcase if you really believe it's worthwhile to carry them out to the kitchen and build them all up in a pile why isn't it just as agreeable then to carry them back to the bookcase again if it's fun to make marks with a pencil in books that one cares for a heap to tear out the pages from volumes one likes and is anxious to keep why isn't it pleasure to put on the Hummer a magazine read and discarded last summer end of section 10 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 11 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 11 hesitation I've orders to awaken you from your nap and orders are orders my little chap but I hate to do it because it seems a shame to break in on your blissful dreams I've sat and watched you a long long while and not since I came have you ceased to smile so it strikes me as wrong to arouse you boy from sleep that's so plainly a sleep of joy to make a big difference tonight of course but perhaps you are riding a real live horse in dreams it's a pleasant and harmless sport so why should I cruelly cut it short maybe you have for your very own a piece of pie or an ice cream cone if that's your amusement why end it quick dream food can't possibly make you sick orders are orders and I'm afraid it's trouble for me if they're disobeyed but I'll bet if the boss could see you son she'd put off the duty as I have done end of section 11 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 12 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 12 his wonderful Chuchu's when I see his wonderful Chuchu trains which he daily builds with infinite pains whose cars are a crazy and curious lot a doll a picture a pepper pot a hat a pillow a horse a book a poet a minty a buttonhook a bag of tobacco a piece of string a pair of Wabba's a bodkin ring a deck of twos and a paper box a brush a comb and a lot of blocks when I first gaze on his wonderful trains which he daily builds with infinite pains I laugh and I think to myself oh gee was ever a child as cute as he but when he's gone to his cozy nest from the toil of his strenuous day to rest and when I gaze on his trains once more where they lie abandoned across the floor and when the terrible task I face of putting each Pullman back in its place I grown a little and think oh gee was ever a child as mean as he end of section 12 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 13 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 13 cousinly affection why do you love your cousin Paul for his sweet face his smile and all the little tricks that charm us so you're not quite old enough to know how cute he is to realize how clever for a child his size I'm sure you can't appreciate the things that make us think him great and yet you love your cousin Paul is it because he's twice as small as you just right for you to mall because he won't fight back or ball because when he is pushed he'll fall and where most kids would howl and squall he takes it nor puts in a call for mother am I warm at all is this why you love cousin Paul end of section 13 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 14 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 14 my baby's garden my baby has a garden planted four days ago and nearly half his waking hours he spends among his precious flowers with sprinkling can and hoe my baby has a garden and oh how proud he is when yielding to his pleading we lay work aside and go to see this masterpiece of his behold my baby's garden close by a rubbish pile look at the sprinkling can and hoe and flowers then tell me if you know whether to sigh or smile the flowers in baby's garden flapped on the ground they lie two hyacinths a withered pair plucked from the pile of rubbish where they had been left to die the flowers in baby's garden planted four days ago grow every hour a sadder site weaker and sicklier in spite of sprinkling can and hoe end of section 14 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 15 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 15 decision reversed when I mixed with the shoppers and fought in vain to get what I sought in the Christmas rush when they stood on my toes in the crowded train or dented my ribs in the sidewalk crush I dropped my manners and snarled and swore and thought it's a bothersome beastly bore but when at the Christmas dawn they brought my kid to the room where his things were piled and when from my vantage point I caught the look on his face I murmured child your dad was a fool when he snarled and swore and called it a bothersome beastly bore end of section 15 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 16 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 16 the grocery man and the bear he was weary of all of his usual joys his books and his blocks made him tired and so did his games and mechanical toys and the songs he had always admired so I told him a story a story so new it had never been heard anywhere a tale disconnected unlikely untrue called the grocery man and the bear I didn't think much of the story despite the fact was a child of my brain and I never dreamt when I told it that night that I'd have to tell it again I never imagined to it makes such a hit with the audience of one that was there that for hours at a time he would quietly sit through the grocery man and the bear to all other stories this one is preferred it's the season's bestseller by far and out at our house it's as frequently heard as cuss words in Mexico are when Chuchu's and horses and picture books fail he'll remain quite content in his chair while I tell or and or the incredible tale of the grocery man and the bear end of section 16 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 17 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 17 coming home prepare for noise you quiet walls you floors get set for heavy falls frail dishes hide away get ready for some scratches stairs clean table linen say your prayers the kid comes home today for three long weeks you've been oh house as noiseless as the well-known mouse as silent as the tomb and you've stayed neat with none on hand to track your floors with mud and sand to must your every room the ideal place for work you've been but soon a bedlam once again a mess a wreck but say I wonder will it make us mad no house I'll bet we both are glad the kid comes home today end of section 17 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 18 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 18 his imagination one thing that's yours my little child your poor old dad is simply wild to own it's not a book or toy it's your imagination boy if I possessed it what a time I'd have nor need to spend a dime I wish that I could get us dried a broom and have a horse to ride or climb into the swing and be a sailor on the deep blue sea or believe a chair a chuchu train bound anywhere and back again if I could ride as fast and far on ship or horse in train or car as you at small expense or none if I could have one half your fun and do the things that you do free I'd give them back my salary end of section 18 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 19 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 19 his memory besides my little son's imagination another thing he has appeals to me and agitates my envious admiration it's his accommodating memory an instant after some unlucky stumble has floored him and induced a howl of pain he's clean forgotten all about his tumble and violently sets out to romp again but if when I leave home I say that maybe I'll get him something nice while I'm away it's very safe to bet that mr. baby will not forget though I be gone all day ah would I might lose sight of things unpleasant the bills I owe the work I haven't done and only think of future joys and present like the approaching payday and my son end of section 19 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 20 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 20 confession a sleuth like Pinkerton or Burns is told that there has been a crime he runs down clues and leads and learns who did the deed in course of time it's just the other way with me the first thing I am sure of is the criminals identity and then I learn what crime was his when son comes up with hanging head and smiles a certain kind of smile when he's affectionate instead of playful when he stalls a while and starts to speak and stops again or squirming like a mouse that's caught asserts I am a good boy then I look to see what harms been brought end of section 20 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 21 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 21 his lady friend who is Sylvia what is she that early every morning you desert your family and rush to see her scorning your once cherished maw and me are her plaything such a treat I will steal them from her better that than not to meet my son and air all summer save when he comes home to eat or is she herself the one and only real attraction has your little heart begun to get that sort of action better wait a few years son end of section 21 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 22 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 22 declaration of independence myself it means that you don't care to have me lift you in your chair that if I do you'll rage and tear myself it means you don't require assistance from your willing sire in eating twill but rouse your ire myself it means when you are through that you don't want your daddy to unseat you as he used to do time was and not so long ago when you were carried to and fro and waited on but now no no you'd rather fall and break your head or fill your lap with cream and bread than be helped up or down or fed well kid I hope you'll stay that way and that there'll never come a day when you're without the strength to say myself end of section 22 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 23 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 23 the eternal greeting what is the welcoming word I hear when I reach home at the close of day glad you are with us daddy dear something I'd like to hear you say no it is this invariably daddy what have you got for me deep affection I might reply what would it profit if I did I might answer the price to buy clothes and edibles for you kid you would repeat insistently daddy what have you got for me isn't myself enough for you doesn't my presence satisfy no that's spelling would never do you want presents a new supply when you inquire so eagerly daddy what have you got for me to it be much nicer and cheaper son if I were welcome without a toy but as I'm not I must purchase one and take my reward from your look of joy when you open the bundle and cry oh see see what daddy has got for me end of section 23 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 24 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 24 guess again I guess I'll help you daddy and daddy can't say no for if he did to it wound you kid and cause the tears to flow I guess I'll help you daddy and daddy says all right and tries to do ignoring you whatever works in sight but what's the use of trying as well be reconciled to quit and play the game that may be pleasing to you child to quit and play or rough house or read as you elect for I'm afraid the guess you made was wholly incorrect end of section 24 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 25 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 25 nearly a sinecure I'm going to the office so says my youngster and gets on the train to take him there the trains the sofa or a chair whichever's near at hand now I am to the office I'm working now says he and just continues standing there on that same lounge or that same chair as idle as can be perhaps four seconds after he first got on his train I see him getting off once more he steps or falls onto the floor and says I'm home again I don't know what they pay him nor where the office is the nature of the boys plazish I've never learned but how I wish I had that job of his end of section 25 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 26 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 26 the heckoses that may not be the proper way to spell their name I cannot say I've never seen them written out I've only heard them talked about they're coming here tonight to dine so says that little son of mine but all last week was just the same they were to come and never came and I'm just skeptical enough to think they're all a myth a bluff mere creatures of my youngsters brain who's coming he'll await in vain and yet to him they're very real they own a big black automobile they work downtown and they'll arrive out here at one two three four five the heckoses are four all told there's Mrs. H who's very old and baby heckos and a lad named Tom and Bill the heckos dad beyond this point I can't describe the fascinating heckos tribe I can but wonder how he came to think of such a lovely name end of section 26 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 27 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 27 his favorite role you could be president as well as not since all you'd have to do is think you were with that imagination that you've got or multi-millionaire if you prefer or you could be some famous football star or Tyrus Cobb admired by every fan instead of that you tell me that you are the garbage man why pick him out when you can take your choice is his so charming nice and sweet a role that acting it should make you to rejoice and be a source of comfort to your soul is there some hidden happiness that he uncovers in his march from can to can that you above all else should want to be the garbage man end of section 27 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 28 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 28 the paths of rashness up to the sky the bird man flew and looped some loops that were bold and new the people marveled at nerve so great and gasped or cheered as he tempted fate more daring each day than the day before till the bird man fell and arose no more the bandit bragged of his daylight crimes and said I'm the wonder of modern times bolder and bolder his thefts became and the people shook when they heard his name he boasted I'm one that they'll never get but he jollied himself into Joliet well son I suppose you would be admired for the valorous habit that you've acquired of rushing at each little girl you meet and hugging her tight in the public street but the day will come I have not a doubt when you'll stagger home with an eye scratched out end of section 28 recording by Jack throw Tokyo Japan section 29 of bib ballads this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jack throw bib ballads by ring lardner section 29 the new plaything I wonder what your thought will be and what you'll say and do sir when you come home again and see what daddy's got for you sir I wonder if you'll like it boy or turn away disgusted you've often scorned a nice new toy for one that's old and busted I wonder if you'll laugh or cry and run in fright to mother or just act bored to death when I show you your brand new brother end of section 29