Hi everyone. Welcome to the live stream tonight to the Zamtima-Sizaueka live stream. My name is Lekwadi Makomo and I'm with Annette, also known as Nandi. Hi. So we are going to be your hosts for tonight, taking you through all of the discussion and art that we have for today. We have a lot of performances up for tonight and what we want to try to do is to explore the issues of mental health through the arts. And our artists, our guest artists that are here tonight will be able to explore this through the pieces that they will share with us today. Along with us for the discussion, we have Timinau. She is a practitioner of mental health here in Malawi and she'll also be part of the discussion giving us more the technical side of mental health in Malawi in terms. So to get us started, we have quite a number of artists to set up. Do you want to introduce them Annette? Okay, so we have four artists coming up and we have Wati Paso Nungu who goes by Wati and he has an EP out called Lost Roots if you want to check that out. And he likes to write from his experiences and surroundings so I can't wait to hear what he's going to do. And then we have Malika who is from Toronto and she's a theater maker and she directs an accent plays which is also amazing so I can't wait to see what she has to present. Then we have Tigris who is from Malawi. She's not only a singer but a producer, a TV and radio presenter as well. So she does a lot and I think she's going to sing for us tonight which is going to be amazing. And then finally for the first group we have Menes who is from Congo and has become known pretty much nationwide because he started quite a while back in 1998 with the ADKS crew. So I can't wait to see what he's going to do as well. Yeah. So let's get started. Our DJ for tonight Malika if you can start with the first performances.  Now we can walk but we feed heavy bearing wounds the tongue never speaks of. You are a man. Do not express your pain. Do not complain. Do not cry.  Do not know the woman like a tough man. So hold it together and be a man. But I've learned that sometimes it is exactly the calm ocean that drowns a man and spoken feelings and expressed emotion. So when the storm rises within us we find ourselves struggling to sail those waters drowning and screaming for a rescue that might never come. Smile but breathe. Smile. Love. Cry. Sleep. I smile and laugh a lot so they say that I'm definitely not the type to know depression. See there are too many cracks in my soul like I'm a drag. Especially in the night when I'm alone far from everyone and everything that makes me forget it. At this moment everything is real and raw. Those walls do not allow me to hide and pretend anymore. The slump in my throat holds my breath so I take deep sighs and try to breathe. Smile. Love. Cry. Sleep. I struggle to sleep. That requires peace. So instead depression, stress, anxiety, or to turn to piercing wounds that I'm trying to cover up. The morning does not interest me but death is more appetizing to a soul that is hungry for peace and freedom. My mind is being seduced by this rope. Should I take it? Should I not? Should I take it? Should I not? I know that they will mark me if I take this rope. They will not care about the trigger. And men we want to talk about everything except their pain because we have been made to believe that depression has a type. But it has taken way too many of us. Breathe. Smile. Love. Cry. Sleep. Breathe. Smile. Love. Cry. Sleep. Breathe. Smile. Love. Cry. Sleep. This is Tigris and I'll be doing the cover for Mad World, September is Suicide Prevention Month, and someone in Timas is awake. I just make sure that if you're going through something, share it. There's always someone out there who will listen and love you. I find it hard to tell. Thank you very much for watching and always- Hey, hey, hey, welcome to my TED Talk. I'm joking, Mira here. My counselor told me that I should do this project for seven days where I like record myself verbally processed. So, this is kind of like Dear Diary. So, here we go. Dear Diary, Dear Myself, I don't know. I am feeling good today. I am feeling strong. I'm feeling healthy. I'm feeling grounded. I just started my new project that I got commissioned for by the Arts Council. So, it's been really exciting. I've been staying fit. I haven't been snacking on unhealthy food. I have not messaged my ex. I'd say it's been a pretty successful day. Yeah.  So, I guess that's my update for today. See you tomorrow. Hey, day two. I'm going to keep this super short. I have kind of been up working for the past like 24 hours. I got super inspired midnight last night for the project that I was telling you about yesterday. And it's going super well. And I have come up with like two or three drafts. And I'm just finishing up the fourth. And I'm going to pitch it tomorrow. So, wish me luck for my Zoom meeting. Good luck, Mira. Day three. And someone said to me in the chat, Hey girl, it looks like you've put on the pounds.  I'm spiraling, as you can tell. And I'm trying really hard not to spiral right now, but here I am. Hello, hello. How are you? No, I'm good. Thanks. Day three. Day four. Day four. I'm doing great. Me and my friends of scotch are having a nice little popcorn night after a very long day at work. Obviously, the commission got approved. The drafts got approved. I'm just chilling and Netflixing and drowning my sorrows in popcorn. I'm just joking. I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye. I should have got my eyebrows done. If I lose weight, this double chin would be gone too.  Okay, stop it. Stop looking at me. Stop, stop. Mira, go away. I don't want to keep looking at you all the time, Mira. Your tear drops could be bottled.   If I love you, was a promise. Would you break it? If you're honest, tell the mirror. She's hurt before I don't. Yes. Hello. My name is Menace Laplume. I'm presenting you a poem, which is actually in French. And I would love just to say what it's all about. So this poem is a story about someone who has been very strong and keeping a smile and hiding their weaknesses while so much was happening in their hearts and they had so much pain and so much bleeding inside and they kept it as a secret because they couldn't take it anymore and they got broken while keeping a big silence. Thank you. The voice of him was beautiful and clear and strong. He couldn't detect the tears from his blood that overflowed his inner self. He was surrounded by friends while in reality he was alone on a deserted island and unknown to all of us. Let's avoid being a weak victim of sympathy. He kept his beautiful carcass intact while his engine of oil was founded until he was in a great silence. Until he was in a great silence. So, welcome back everyone. So, I have with me Till and Now as I introduced before. Till and Now is a mental health practitioner in Malawi. Hi Till and Now. Can you say a little bit about your background? Sure. As you've heard, my name is Till and Now. I'm a counseling psychologist. So, my specialty is in providing psychotherapy. And it could be one-on-one or in a group setting. And it usually has an approach that's more psychoeducational. So, I believe in providing counseling and then also educating people on the basics of mental health so that they can understand their own experience better. Thank you very much. Thank you. So, we have four artists that just performed with us. Tigris, Menace, Wati, and we also had a performance from Malika. So, what we're going to do is we're going to open the floor to a discussion. Remember, for those of you who are tuning in on our Facebook or on HowlRound, you can go to our Facebook and in the comments of the video, please put in any questions or anything you'd like to ask the artists as we go along. But to begin our discussion, we just like each one of you. We can start with you, Menace. Could you just give us like a really quick one minute, what inspired you to talk about this piece and how it connects to the mental health issue from your side? Thank you very much for the question. First of all, as an artist, I think a lot of artists we go through mental health issues because we live in this crazy world, most of the time aspiring for bigger things that delay to come. And also, while struggling actually to make it because it's not easy to make it as an artist. So, we always try to push much and things don't work. We are frustrated. So, yeah, I've experienced mental health issues in my life. For so many years as well and frustrated. And then the other thing for the 12 past years, so I had to leave my country, the DRC, where I am from originally. And then I came to Malawi living as a refugee. And so my first years in Malawi were very painful actually. So, I really struggled since sleepless nights, sometimes weeks of no sleep because my brain was just thinking.  And I was that guy for a long time and naturally I'm very strong, but we need also to admit that even the strongest person, they have their times of weakness, which we need to admit that I'm weak now and I can cry or I can complain. Yes, I lived for many years without complaining to anyone or without crying and always being smiling. People that know me know that I always smile and I'm always happy, but it's not always the same thing that is going on in my heart. Some days are more so sad, you know. And also people around me actually expect me to always be happy because they know that I'm happy. When people are sad, they come to me because they know that I'm there.  And so it has been very difficult. Sometimes when people don't know, actually they know the body of the person, but they don't know what is going on inside and no one actually wants to spend that time to know because that's why I tried to explain that, to tell a story of someone who is strong and everyone actually thinks they know, but they don't know. And as artists, yes, I think I can speak on behalf of artists or don't know it aloud. I know that we are entertainers, we are there to please other people. And people don't expect you to be sad when you have to please them, so they're there. And then, yeah, so it's a bit, and most of the time people don't even know us. And it's very tough. You have groupies, you have fans who don't know anything about you. And when they see you, they want that big hug and they want that friendship, which sometimes it's even fake because they don't even know you ruined them, actually, and maybe you don't remember theirs. So, yeah, it's what I'm talking about. Everyone thinks they know, but they don't know because the person is going through so much, which they don't tell anyone. So, yeah, I just summarized whatever. That's what's bad with me. So, it's my own experience, actually. No, thank you so much. It is quite a beautiful piece. For those of us who are non-French speakers, we still got the sense of what you were trying to convey in that message. Maybe I'll pass it on now to Wati because your piece also was someone leaning towards that. Could you talk a bit about your piece as well, as briefly as you can as well? All right, okay. What actually inspired me to write that piece was a personal experience. I wrote that piece when I was in a really dark place. I was struggling with depression, and I think at that point it had gotten to a peak where I was actually considering suicide. I think the only thing that saved me from going that far is someone allowed me to talk about it. And the presence, which is something I feel like is quite rare for men. From the moment they were young, we were told to be strong.  I'm like, what? And I think that we get to grow up with that, and it really messes up with the emotion and the health.  I know that I'm not the only one who's going through that experience. It's the best way that I know how to express myself. So yeah, I wrote that piece. Thank you. It is a very beautiful piece. Maybe do you want to weigh in? Maybe in the Malawi context, especially when we talk about mental health and how it comes out. I would say there's a very huge stigma about mental health in Malawi because the understanding about mental health in Malawi is just very bipolar. And by that, I just mean it's two extremes. Either somebody is supposed to be perfectly healthy or they are clinically insane and there's nothing in between. So when people think about somebody going through mental health challenges, the assumption is they're on that extreme and people don't know how to handle or help that person. They don't know how to be around that person and it can get very difficult and isolating for the person who's actually experiencing it. I really think the whole thing that both Wati and Minnes has talked about, about the patriarchy and that cultural belief or that cultural framework that so many men are going through where nobody expects you to express any emotions. If you are expressing an emotion, it has to be either positive or something that demonstrates strength which is anger, violence. That's it. Don't show anything that would make you seem weak in quotes. So a lot of men then end up having so many problems inside that they're holding on to and it could get to a point where somebody reaches a break. We had in the media just news about how many men have committed suicide in this year in Malawi. It was 85% of the statistic of all the suicides that have been committed in Malawi this year were men. I think that's very telling. Yeah, no, that's very true. In fact, just growing up, there's a lot of pressure around just trying to be the perfect individual not really expressing yourselves and talking about it. It can be hard to have that weight and we can see from Minnes's performance in Wati's they're trying to put it from that angle. Let's switch over to Tigris. Tigris, your piece was a cover actually. It's actually a really good song, one of my favorite songs. Could you talk a bit about it? What inspired you to do it? What was the story behind that one? Okay, so basically I originally wanted to do a song that I wrote a long time ago called You're Not Alone. But I couldn't do that because my guitarist wasn't feeling well. But I decided to go with Mad World because when I listened to it, I get emotional and I relate. And also, like, the thing is, like with the whole with all the culture, you know, in most parts of Africa, like mental health issues are not taken seriously. You know, you'd be like, oh, I'm feeling this way, I'm feeling that way. You'll literally be calling out for help in different ways.  Hey, do it, let's see what happens. You know, things like that. And then people forget that when you talk about these issues, all you want is a fine.  So in this song, there's one line that really gets to me. It says, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've had, because literally there are things that people go through, and I'm one of them.  I mean, like the song that I originally wanted to write, you're not alone. I wrote it because I'm a single mother. And then there are like moments where, sorry. Thank you, time. I think let's give her a minute, Malika, would you like to talk a bit about your piece and the connection you have to that one? Sure. I think that like we were just talking about the idea of being a perfect human. And I think that is for both men and women, and women are expected to look a certain way. Okay, sorry. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, so yeah, anyway, my point is the things that everybody is looking for is just love and positivity, you know, encouraging words that everything will be fine. You know, so yeah. I'm sorry, I can't, yeah. It's okay. It's okay. Don't apologize. That's extremely fine. Thank you for expressing and it's a beautiful song and you did a beautiful cover and we all really can connect with that feeling that you're feeling right now. It's all in us. Thank you so much for opening up. Malika, would you like to talk a bit about your piece so that we then introduce the next artist? Sure. I think we all are craving love, right? And love for who we are authentically in our whole selves rather than just parts of ourselves. So I think that's what the piece is about. The piece was about a girl who was struggling with loving herself and being loved by others. So much so that she couldn't even look at herself at some points in time. So I think it was just how someone can be high functioning and be working on all of these amazing things but still be suffering and dealing with mental illness. So that's my connection to the piece. Now, thank you so much. Also, a lot of love coming from us all on Facebook. For those of you joining live on Facebook or on HowlRound, we thank you so much for the support for your comments. Because of time, we're going to move on to the next set of artists and we're going to try to get as many of your questions in at the end. I'm just seeing those now. So what I'll do is we're going to just quickly switch over to the next few artists and maybe my partner will introduce you. So we have Amanda Sheik. Yes. Yeah. So I think she's going to introduce herself, but she's from Boston. And she's done quite a lot of poetry. So yeah, I'm not going to say too much. We also have Kathy. She is a poet and an activist and a singer. And she also has her own organization called Bilar Trippi. We are going to have Kindu, who is allowing feminists also and a poet. She has an album called Bodies Are Not Homes, which is also really amazing. And we also have Chim, who's a poet. He's also done some music. He has a podcast called Better Mondays. You should check that out. It's really cool. And he also has a YouTube channel. I hope not forgetting anybody. Not at the moment. We might have a sneaking guest artist come in. We might have a speaking guest artist. We might have a surprise guest. Okay. So for now, let's start with the ones that you just introduced. And Malika, I hand it over to you. Sit the ball rolling. Hey, y'all. Hey, it's your girl Amanda Sheik. I'm honored to be here. I want to thank Art Glow for inviting me to present this poem that I'm about to do for y'all called Resilience. I want to thank Mary and Taylor Brown from Arts Connect International here in Boston, Mass, where we're at. Gang, gang. Hey, y'all. Hey, it's your girl Amanda Sheik. I'm honored to be here. I want to thank Art Glow for inviting me to present this poem that I'm about to do for y'all called Resilience. I want to thank Mary and Taylor Brown from Arts Connect International here in Boston, Mass, where we're at. Gang, gang. Hey, y'all. Hey, it's your girl Amanda Sheik. I just want to thank them for inviting me up to the platform and being my true authentic self. Mental health is so important and mental health awareness is even more important. I feel as though black and brown women overcome so many obstacles and mental health is definitely one of those and definitely one of those categories. For me, I have grown up with a mother who has bipolar level two. Sheik, gang. Sheik, gang. Sheik, gang. And I watched them struggle with it, but they make sure that they take their meds and they make sure that they do what they need to do to keep themselves centered. It is a really tough battle and at any moment in time, we can be triggered by such. So I wanted to share this piece called Resilience to talk about that, but also just to talk about our strengths as black and brown women. So I wanted to share this piece called Resilience to talk about our weaknesses and this is my poem resilient. The saying goes when the tough get going, the going get tough. Must not have met my mother. The scars she bears are invisible. Only those with a third eye could see you see her body is strong. Agile, but weakened by her experiences. Black women are to only be strong. They are intact. Heavy the head who wears the crown, but I see it slipping. Weight on her shoulder. She carries worlds around. We simply orbit in her universe. Even when she's lost in her own space. Who? Who will carry her burdens?  She doesn't need no man, but society's price tags tells her different stories. Fairy tales unbeknownst to her. For she's a dollar in a dream mentality. Don't worry, I got this swag. I can do bad all by myself. No two cents to rub together, but rubbed out meal. Who will nourish her soul? It's tired. Been beaten. But not by life by family who cast her away, didn't want to help her rewrite her wrongs running away from generational trauma. She's out of breath. Panic attacks her nervous system. Like a baby she birthed. She sells shoes. Resilient. Black women overcome so many obstacles. Black and brown women overcome so many obstacles. And when asked, how are they? They reply. My mother replies. I reply. I'm fine. Thank you all so much. That's my poem resilience. Thank you once again, Art Glow for having me. I'm so honored to be here and I'm even more blessed to be performing virtually for Africa. Thank you so much. Hopefully when COVID-19 is over, we can see each other face to face and connect in person. But for now, I just want to thank all of y'all for joining me tonight and I hope you enjoyed the piece. You can find me at Amanda Shay all day. Or you can find me at Amanda Shay on Facebook, Instagram, or you can email me at bookingamandashay.com. Peace, everyone. There is power in the spoken word. There is speech, power in simply opening one's mouth to speak. There is a humble magic that comes to life when letters roll around your tongue and sparks fly when you let them out. There is a reason for the spells spoken out loud and the gentle but steady rising of your voice when you pray. There is healing in the spoken words, so please speak to me. Tell me your secrets with your eyes closed and allow me to guard them with the cage around my heart. Tell me about the man who touched you where the flowers grew and let me help you burn the weeds that followed in his wake. Tell me of the nights you spent trying to father yourself into a better man.  Tell me of the holes in your dreams and allow me to patch them together with my own. Just please speak. There is a difference in the spoken word. One sentence could change that orphan boy's life the way those four words changed yours. You could be burying someone's blessing on the tip of your tongue or have the answers to my prayers caught in your throat. You could have that power, so please speak. Speak up, speak volume. Speak things into existence. Speak with audacity to believe that you are actually saying something. Be that voice. Be brave. Break the silence. Just please speak. There is strength in the spoken word. Talk yourself off that ledge one noose after the other. Tell yourself a bedtime story in which you do the saving and are not the damsel. Raise your voice at the voices in your head telling you that you are not good enough, that you are not worth it. Then whisper gently at the parts of you that still need loving. Just please speak. There is power in the spoken word. There is freedom and liberation for souls long caged. In the spoken word is the song of a bird cage, the secret of a heart note and love letters waiting to be read. There is power in the spoken word. So please speak. Speak to me. Speak to someone. Reach out. Just please speak.  You're never really around to teach me what it means to be a man. See, Mom tried, but she could never really teach me what it means to be a man. I grew up broken alone and desperately trying to find my identity. The problem is the people I met, TV and music shaped the man in me. See, I was mad.  I didn't see you even long before you died. Thinking, will I ever know what it means to hide under my father's wing? Will I ever go to bed knowing that my father's in the next room ready to jump into my room at the first sign of trouble? I still don't know. I've just been down for a while, but people don't notice it. My smile is kind of crooked, but people don't see it. I think it's called depression, but I don't want to admit it. It's pretty mild, so I think I can live with it. I told someone about it and they told me that I'd be fine. They said, just pray more. Stay positive and you'll be fine. It's crazy. People want to treat such things with a bandage, but my pain runs deep. It's insecurities. It's anxiety. It's depression. It's so many other things. It's more than just a heartbreak. But they say, I'm fine. They say, I'll be fine. Maybe it's because the thought of dealing with such things makes them uncomfortable. When I told them that I felt like committing suicide, they say, you should come for prayers because that's deliverable. And then after prayers, they let me go back to my situation alone instead of helping me walk through it. But then in the darkest times, the Son of God shone his light through my window and told me that he would be there to walk me through it. So now I'm starting to learn more and more that if I fade from fun and laughter or I'm taken by disease and hunger, if life is as cold as winter or I'm chilling like it's summer, if I never afford a meal or I'm always on the come-up, if I stay or leave, die or live, it's cool. I know you have because you're in control.  It's interesting. We see you as president instead of king, hilarious, how much you trump authority as human beings. But despite the gap, you're still keeping on your promises. Blessings upon blessings and turning messes into messages. Loving and not destroying men. You cannot deny yourself. See, angels long to look at this now. Look at me. A broken, shattered, tired, depressed, angry, passive aggressive sinner mumbling over everything. But I'm trying. I'm trying to learn what it means to rest in the hands of the sovereign king. Thank you. Everyone, my name is Kas. I'm from Malawi and welcome to our show. Where you going, little child? Don't we know? And the waves crash on the shore. No, little child. The expression as many as there are grains of sand. That's what people call themselves, isn't it? Well, you see, I prayed to the winds to take I could feel every single this unanimous force.   I am proud to be a grain of sand, golden and gleaming in the sunlight, soaking up the water, dancing in the wind and in the breeze, being a part of something that is bigger than myself. Knowing that whenever someone tries to walk on me, no matter how little they think I am or how big they think they are, they will always feel me under their toes. Indestructible, individual, part of something bigger than myself. I am a grain of sand and maybe just maybe I know where I belong. Hello everybody. My name is Shekwa Medise, aka that guy. I am speaking to you from Malawi and I hope you enjoy the show. I know that you were something. I know you get stressed by society's assumptions.  Make you feel alone like there's no one you can trust in. But trust in the Lord and your own understanding. People who attack you are just lonely and abandoned. Taking out their anger cause they don't know how to manage. They used to feel special now there's nothing on this planet. I would disagree and tell them that they still are. Shining like a star you can see from afar. Never let them pull you in like the sun does to Mars. When you break, we break like the tires in a car. Stick to your motion like a wave in the ocean. Search for your place in the puzzle that is broken. Live how you like there is nothing that you owe them. One never kind then this time that you showed them. My friends gave me weed I should have stayed awake. Now walking never sleep unless I burn a jet. Maybe I'm in too deep. Maybe I need to pray. I don't like what they preach. They don't like what I say. As long as I got peace I would never be afraid. I was mated off the lean. Now I'm leaning on my faith. Getting on my knees cause I gotta give praise. Yeah, I'm getting on my knees cause I gotta give thanks. I'm not saying that I'm clean. I'm just saying I'm awake. Picture in my dreams. Picture in the frame on my mind and it seems that our kind is the same. No I, no you. Only we in the frame of freedom and pain. But you're free to refrain. Free to remain to the feel of your lane. For your sake get to know what is real, what is fake. Never let anyone take control of your game. Yeah. Yeah. I got hope for my nation. Hope we got time to rewind the design before the revelation. Hope we can make it. Save it. What they call nyasa is greatness. Awaken my lawi. I know we have been shaking but it is our future. We decide how we shape it. Circle of life.   Say you with a youth hop. Please don't be basic. Kids in the streets with degrees that don't need what you feed any payment. The generation is full of vision. The generation is full of vision. The generation is full of vision that I can picture and even frame it. Listen to their statements. Their hate and debate them and have a conversation. It really breaks my heart how much potential is wasted to faking. Is it really worth what you're taking straight from a citizen's savings? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My lawi as I see it has a beautiful place. Everybody in it has a beautiful face. The conversation is great. Denominations of faith. Living co-existent, lifting up the ego and hate. I relate to the fakes who deceive what we see. Who deceive what we see. Too late that they're snakes. Moving low in the grass. They do know I got the plate. My pen is my sword. Battleground is the page. What more can I say that the streets ain't said? I am not the head. I am just a soldier with a step. Black of my fist. Revolution of my breath. Yes. This is for the children and the next born to this warm heart. You are forever blessed. We fight for you. Whenever shall we rest. No, never shall we let up. No matter where we end up. Every time a lawi is fall. We always get up. We always get up. We always get up. No matter where we end up. Every time a lawi is fall. We always get up. We always get up. We always get up. No matter where we end up. Every time a lawi is fall. We always get up. We always get up. Thank you so much. That was a great set of performances. I feel like speechless. And we have all those artists here with us. As I did say, we did say we'd have a little guest artist as well. So how about we open the floor now for the discussion for the artist. But before that, we had a question in the comments. Thank you to Shaz. You had the question. So the question was, we know that mental health is taken for granted in my lawi. And people seek therapy. And I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I believe that is what I'm trying to say. I know that's an important point. And people seek therapy. Seeking therapy. Usually made fun of and are called. Is there a way to normalize people to seek mental health support from therapists without being ridiculed. We need to remove the stigma around mental health. Maybe you could say. One of the things is to get to a point where we can normalize the whole discussion about mental health. Nobody is ever shamed for going to a doctor if they're feeling physically ill. That's because everybody has a basic understanding of what health is and if you're feeling sick it just seems to be the automatic thing to do. So that comes from having more and more discussions about a specific subject. So in the same way, the more we talk about mental health, the more we have discourses like this, discussions even in schools or with young people, just people within the communities. There's a project actually that's coming up with Art Glow where we're trying to target young people within the local communities and just have them talk about mental health, what they think it is, what stigma there is surrounding it. So the more those kinds of conversations come up and it becomes a normalized concept in people's minds, the more likely it is that this kind of stigma would reduce and then people will be more open to talking about it. Yes, thank you very much. And yes, the project will talk about that a bit more after we finish our discussion. But now I'd like to open it up to the actual artists themselves. I'll start with Amanda. Amanda, thank you for your performance, your piece, very relevant to the current social climate and political climate that we have at the moment. Could you just briefly tell us your inspiration, tell us the story around it. Thank you. First of all, can I just say that this is absolutely incredible. Like I feel so full from just all of the talented artists that are here. This afternoon, well it's afternoon here for me I know it's nighttime over there for you all but this is just absolutely beautiful thank you so much for having me I would say resilience. And for me that word means strength, and that no matter what you're going through you're going to persevere, regardless. The piece initially came out of an event that was to empower women and here in Boston, and I just started thinking about my mother, and my mom is bipolar level two. She was diagnosed about 16 years ago. Growing up with her was really, really difficult, because at the time she was not diagnosed properly. And she also used drugs to be completely honest so she was an addict, who also suffered from a mental disorder. When you do drugs such as cocaine it basically counteracts the same type of emotions that you would have when you're in a manic episode. So, learning those things and having her get diagnosed properly and take meds. It was really tough on my childhood, because I would get screamed at I would get yelled at I would get hit. I would be punished it was like walking on eggshells in my own home. It allowed me to. It forced me to be very conscientious about when I spoke, how I spoke, and what my actions would do to potentially get me in trouble or receive some type of punishment. So when I was writing resilience I thought about all of those things but at the same time I thought to myself, well it's not her fault that she has this mental health disorder. It is not on her that she wasn't able to cope correctly with it, because she wasn't diagnosed properly. So it made me kind of sympathize with her as me being her daughter.   Mental health is not a burden but it can be to some people when they don't receive the correct treatment, or they are unaware or unknown, or it's unbeknownst to them that they even have this. It's a type of mental health disorder. And I need to stop saying disorder because I don't believe in in claiming that it is a disorder because when you say that something is a disorder then that means that it may or may not be able to be fixed right, or may or may not be able to be corrected, or, or regulated I should really say. So for me, the peace resilience was really about capturing my mom's struggles from a human perspective a woman perspective, but as her daughter from my family and also capturing what other women go through one of my other best friends is a mental health advocate who also suffers from bipolar disorder bipolar level one. And I watch her deal with it and understand that it is something that we need to be more cognizant of that we need to destigmatize. And also from anxiety myself, I didn't realize I had anxiety until my 30s. I also didn't understand that I had social anxiety as well so even performing sometimes I can have an episode, which could mean a multitude of things I can shut down I can start shaking my body will feel as though I have no control and it's a very scary situation for me. I'm still trying to figure out ways to cope with that. Yeah, that's where the piece had came from and I just wanted to let people know that not only our black and brown women are resilient, but they're also our mental health issues that lie within just from a social aspect, a cultural aspect, and a societal aspect, as we know black and brown women are always demeaned for just existing. We are told that we're too loud that we're too sassy that we have too much attitude that we are not afforded the same rights to education, sometimes we are decriminalized for even existing our hair, the way that our skin tone is the way that our voice dictation and how we speak. So I just wanted to create a piece that basically embodied all of those things, and the best way that I possibly could. So yeah, that's where it came from. Thank you so much we understand that perspective and we can really feel that in your performance and we hear that emulated. I think it's really quite a beautiful piece. Yeah, do you have any more to add. No, I think it was beautiful and I would just like to say thank you to everybody else I was moved by all of your pieces and also excited. It really excites me when people are honest because I don't see it a lot so thank you so much for just pouring your hearts out through your music and through your poetry. And so my question is for cast, who I'm blessed to know personally as somebody who's always open and honest. What inspired you to write the piece that you wrote and why did you choose to perform it tonight, or this afternoon for some. Hello. Did I perform tonight. Can you hear me. Yes, we can hear you. Fantastic. Okay, so the piece that I performed tonight was called a grain of sand. And it's really, it basically talks about how we often feel occasion I say we talk about myself how I often feel insignificant in the world, how I feel like as many there are grains of sand as there are as many problems in the world, there are as many people in the world, and no one needs to deal with me no one needs to listen to me. I'm not special. I don't stand out I'm literally just a grain of sand, unnoticeable. And I had, I had the privilege recently of being able to move to the beach for a bit and I, I needed to get away because I have major depressive disorder. Okay. For the sake of the sake of this discussion, let me use the word major depressive disorder. So MDD is basically clinical depression. You get diagnosed from the hospital by a doctor. And I go to therapy and I say I'm going to therapy all the time I go to therapy I try to go at least once a week. If you, I don't think I'm bougie. I don't think I'm bougie. But yeah, I go to therapy and therapy is very important. It really helps just be able to talk to someone. But yes, we can talk about the importance of therapy later let's talk about the poem a grain of sand. So, when I got to the beach. I like to walk on the beach a lot and it's one of my favorite things is to feel the sand under my feet. And it never feels like mud it's always these individual grains of sand that you can feel under your feet and in between your toes and it taught me something that no matter how small I think I am or no matter how insignificant I think I am to the world or even when I think I don't contribute anything. If a grain of sand can make an impact under someone's foot, then I definitely make an impact in this world and every single grain of sand shines it sparkles and gleams. I have that light inside me everyone has that light inside me we all sparkle. We all gleam. We're all a part of something that's bigger than ourselves and we don't have to conform to stand out or to be a part of something. We dare to be different there to be yourself don't be afraid to be yourself, because we're all different we're supposed to connect in our differences you know. So that's why I wrote this poem because I, a lot of the time I feel like I'm not enough I feel like I'm so insignificant, but I'm a grain of sand, and I might be a little but I make such a big difference to the world, you know. Yeah. So, yes, that's it. Thank you for your question. Okay, good. Thank you so much cast. I just working with you we've worked together on a few occasions as well. It's always a pleasure to see how you put your hearts and your own struggles into the work that you do and really love the piece as well. I think, next, let's see, pin while you're on the line we'd like to also hear from you to talk a bit about your piece as well. What made you talk about it and what where did the inspiration come from. Hi everyone. Well, my new work is terrible and so I needed to sit on the side of the story. Okay, this is better. Um, so when I speak, I, I was going. Um, so I couldn't write, of course, myself to sit down and you'll write something. And in order to do that, I reminded myself why I started writing in the first place. And that is because I needed someone to speak to me. And so I wrote the poem for myself just to remind myself that I need to, I need to speak, I need to need to just basically speak. And so that poem got me through, got me through that spell of sadness, because I was able to speak to someone in the mirror and just say, dude, this is what's going on. Because I realized it's really easy to say you'll reach out to someone and speak to someone tell someone what you're going through. But I personally haven't always been able to speak to other people. I think we are breaking up. No, I went to the entire moment. Sorry. Um, can you try again maybe just the last part there, kind of breaking up a bit sorry. Um, alright. I was saying, can you hear me now. Yeah, yeah, that's better. Okay, for saying that as easy as it is to tell people to reach out to someone and to reach out to a friend or find a therapist and talk to them about their problems. I have found that it's not always that simple, that sometimes what works for me is standing in front of the mirror and talking to myself or just lying in bed and saying out loud things that are bothering me or what I'm going through at that moment. And that has been a form of self healing as well, just being able to acknowledge that I have a voice and I can hear myself, even when I don't feel like other people will that I can talk to anyone else. I can just, you know, speak. Okay, I think we're sorry, I think we're having technical difficulties on your end. I think it's just the networking side. So to speak and such the whole wide world. Sorry, Hindu, Hindu, but we've got the gist of what you were talking about. It's, we're sorry that you couldn't finish the comment. Sorry, the my network sometimes goes off and on and it has not been client kind to us the past few days. But we appreciate it and yes, we get the sense of your voice in that. I want to ask him about his piece and I really love the fact that he incorporated his spiritual journey and what it means for him and connected it with mental health because I don't see a lot of people talking about those two things together. So, I loved it and yeah what inspired you to write it and why did you want to share it with us this evening.  So, yeah, I think it was just getting to that place of realizing man, this is missing from my life. I don't know how to handle certain issues and realizing that a lot of the things that I felt were liking in my life with stemming from, you know, not having a father in my life as I was growing up. So, I think that really affected me. And it, it tends to put you in a place where I think I only started to realize it when I started to have people around me who became like father figures to me, people who teach me things people who would walk with me. And then I realized, oh snap I messed out on a lot like there's so much that I don't know the so much that I that I haven't experienced. And I feel like not having those things put me in a place where I started to like you know you start you get to a place where you start to doubt yourself you get to a place where you don't have an identity because like no one told you how to be anything no one taught you how how to walk like this how to be this or what to do. So therefore all you end up doing is just doing whatever feels right and I think this is that just led to me spiraling down a path of defining myself with the wrong things and being the wrong thing in general. I think that put me in positions where I wasn't alright. And, or, and that just let more and more things going. So yeah. Yeah, yeah no it's it's really true I think the spiral that happens once you start going down that path is, and then the community around does not make it any better, because it just pushes you and pushes you more in the same direction. Like, like Annette was saying about the aspect of faith, I think I saw a comment also on Facebook. Maybe I can just, I just want to read it out. There was a question here that said, how can we integrate faith houses, a mental institution in so that we can be on the same page. I asked this because sometimes the local priest comes across such a situation but it's illiquid to handle it. What do you think can be done and this is a comment by things. Oh, actually, your husband. Yeah. Okay. Well, this is a coincidence. So, Jim, your perspective is quite interesting. Maybe you can weigh in a bit on that. Yeah. Actually it's very interesting that this question comes up because I remember a couple of years ago, one of the students at the university where I work was majoring in psychology, did a whole dissertation about this, specifically how faith leaders and how faith leaders have an understanding about issues to do with mental health and how they can help. And that was patience. Hey patients, if you're watching, but what what what it came to was that the kind of training that faith leaders go through needs to incorporate aspects of mental health, because in many cases people who are religious leaders are usually at a point of contact for so many people who are facing different types of stress and pressure, and they're going through life problems. And if it's at a point where they need counseling. And this particular religious leader is not really trained in how to provide counseling, or even how to direct that person to a place where they can get psychotherapy. And the person is likely to suffer. And I think another thing that could be a problem is the understanding that issues to do with mental health and issues to do with the person's faith always have to be at longer heads with each other. So I think that's a problem that a lot of people who have a faith that they ascribe to tend to feel guilty when they start having some kind of mental challenge because they think well, something must be wrong with me I must be a significant type of sinner. You know, if if I'm having these problems because if I go to say church, or I go to the mosque and I say, you know, I'm feeling depressed, they tell me well there's no such thing if you were really a devout Christian Muslim, you wouldn't be feeling this way. So I think it's very important to have that kind of training just an understanding of how counseling or psychotherapy can help, even at the level of faith leaders so that the two can go hand in hand. Yeah. No, thank you very much. And thank you, Tim. Also your piece. It was very unlike me. We do have one more, our special guest who came in last minute into it. That guy. That guy. If you're on the line we'd like to your inspiration behind your piece as well. Just a little bit more about that. Sorry, you're muted. You need to unmute yourself. Right, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, so the three pieces I did were excerpts from an album I'm making right now, an upcoming album. And it centered around the concept of mental health awareness among young people, because I feel like we're or Malawi rather here. We are on the age of an enlightenment period where a lot of people are becoming aware of the fact that something is not right. And that there's a conversation or dialogue that must be had. But we are not going that extra step, you know, I think. I think that's a really dangerous thing to do because there are a lot of young people and as the fellow artists have said there are a lot of young people in schools that you know they feel like going to a therapist are going to be left. A lot of my friends see therapists but they would never tell anyone else that you know, and I feel that it's only when you open up to other people about how you feel that we can start becoming comfortable with normalizing conversation because we all want to. We all want to help each other and we all want to be helped. But I feel like it's just scary. And letting yourself out there for the people so these pieces were based around that around the concept of that affecting in a political way you know and how it's affecting the current generation and current generation the current youth. The other one was about the self and how you know mental health avoiding mental health can really weigh on you in a way. Align that a lot of people. Yeah, a line that a lot of people just to wrap up here pretty much wraps up my whole point is that a line that a lot of people come to me and tell me that there's this line that says, I was faded off the lean on leaning on my fate. Right. And to me that's when I when I came up with it it was kind of off the fly but it came from a really deep place, because me being a musician, me being a rap, a guy and wrap a rat man. There are a lot of young people right now doing trap, and a lot of people don't really take it seriously, you know it's it's sort of become a joke. But when you're like me and you're growing up shoulder to shoulder with these people, you really get to see that it's sort of a cry for help, you know, there's some real things that a lot of young people are going through that they don't feel comfortable to talk about you know maybe they make a song about it, put a catchy beat on their catchy chorus you know, all you hear is that, and we dismiss it all the time. But I feel like in places like that it's really important to look into what what the incoming generate. Sorry, what the incoming generations perspective of mental health and you know, having that conversation what they think should be done. And I think we can really have a middle ground, you know, people from all ages, we can really start to normalize and have that conversation. So yeah, that was my inspiration. Okay. No, thank you so much. It was a really beautiful piece. And yeah, it really we all just felt as well. Yeah. Yeah. So on that note, we are just about wrapping up here. For those of you who are joining us over how around. Thank you very much for making the time. And then for those of you who are able to log in through Facebook live and actually watch this live. Thank you also for joining us. The comments are very positive, very community building, and we encourage you to continue these conversations moving forward. As was said a little bit before we are starting a project on mental health and talking about mental health stigma in the community around us specifically here in Zumba Malawi, you can continue to follow this page and see progress of this project. I'd like to thank McGinnity Foundation for helping us to get this off the ground and also sponsoring the launch of this how around who is our streaming partner here and for just streaming and also being very supportive and helping on the technical side. Malika, who beyond performing has also been our host because our internet here has been buzzing past few days. So she's done a great job also of just co hosting, big up to her, and then all the artists of Tigris, Amanda, Shekwa, I hope I'm pronouncing that way. Wati, Meniz, Hindu, Malika herself, Cass, I think that's her, and Chim, I don't want to forget you Chim, it's been a blast. And honestly, thank you so much. I think as we start this new project, called ZAMTIMASIZAWIKA, we really want this to be the thing that emulates going forward. So we really want to engage with the youth in the community, talk about stigma, engage with the local authorities and see how to really end this stigma that's happening in our communities. So, I think what I will do as well. Thank you so much for being with us here. It was nice to have the psychological side. It's been great. I enjoyed it. Also, thank you for co hosting with me Annette. Sorry, before we go, we just like to thank all of our viewers, and all of our individual donors on our global giving page. We had a huge global giving campaign trying to just fundraise for some of the aspects of this project that usually get underfunded, and we had really good response. And for those of you who are still looking to donate, please, the floor is still open. We're hoping to continue this sort of conversation and these sort of projects moving forward. So please go to global giving. We'll put a link in the comments down below. So thank you all for tuning in. My name is luckily my goal. This is a net and dealing now. Thank you so much. You all have a great evening and continue be positive continue to spread positivity out into the world.


Je vais vous présenter un joint-work avec Mathieu Levine et Femme Thamnam, qui est aussi, pour dire, ce joint-work avec Youf Rolish, Anthony Norris, Benjamin Schlein et Vedran Soinger, par qui je veux dire qu'ils ont obtenu exactement, sur le site web, le même résultat que nous, à exactement le même temps, avec une méthode complètement orthogonal. Si vous aimez le résultat, je vais vous présenter, mais ce n'est pas la méthode de prouve. La meilleure partie d'advice que j'ai, c'est que vous allez vérifier leurs papiers. En fait, ils ont annoncé des nouveaux résultats très récentes, donc il y a un talk par Anthony Norris sur l'IMP Worldwide Seminar. Il y a aussi un joint-work par Andy Deutschert, Robert Seringer et Jacob Inverson, qui, ce que je vais dire, peut être comparé, mais la comparaison n'est pas exactement straightforward, donc je ne vais pas faire ça dans le talk. Donc, depuis que je n'aurai pas oublié de les mentionner, je les mentionne directement. Ok, donc je vais vous parler de... Je fais tout en grand canoniquement. C'est l'ensemble grand canonique pour les bosons dans les unités flat tours en 3D. Donc, ce que nous faisons, c'est beaucoup plus général, mais pour avoir une notation raisonnable, sous contrôle, je vais juste focuser sur ce cas-ci. Nous pouvons faire des gaz homogénaux et nous pouvons aussi faire des 2D, mais nous allons le faire pour un exemple particulier. Donc, je vais me rappeler un peu ce que Mathieu a dit dans ses lectures. Donc, le space d'Hilbert, sur lequel tout le monde sera vivant, est le space bosonique. Donc, le summe direct de tous les espaces pour beaucoup de bosons. Donc, le petit n dénote le nombre de particules et je ne peux pas considérer qu'une position supérieure des states avec différents nombre de particules. Et depuis que les bosons, les states basiques, ou les fonctions, les valeurs complexes et les exchanges symmétriques de leurs arguments. Comme vous l'avez dit dans plusieurs lectures. Donc, là, il y a un mithonien qui s'appelle Big H. Par contre, je mets le lambda pour le constance de coupling et ça commence comme d'gamma de minus laplacien. Donc, c'est utile pour cette notation parce que je ne peux pas l'aider, mais je vais l'utiliser. Donc, je vais le définir. Mais c'est ce que vous avez vu dans les lectures. Et puis, le constance de coupling, et l'interaction W. d'gamma est une sorte de notation standard pour dire que je prends le minus laplacien qui est une condition périodique. Et je le mets dans cet espace naturel. Donc, il s'agit diagonallement sur les secteurs avec différents nombre de particules et sur un secteur avec un n particulier il y a un j de 1 à n minus laplacien dans le variable xj. Et l'interaction est aussi l'interaction naturelle pour faire de paire sur cet espace naturel. Donc, le W est le grand somme pour tous les secteurs et un somme de paires d'un potentiel paire qui acte comme multiplication sur les fonctions de cet espace naturel. Bien sûr, je suis en train d'y aller sur le torse. Donc, ce x, y minus xj est de la distance sur le torse. Mais c'est un n qui est resté, un n, c'est un n, un n, un n, un n, un n. Et donc, il y a un n qui est resté, il y a un n, un n, un n, un n. Comme l'on l'a déjà vu, je l'ai notationné par Gamma lambda. Donc c'est 1 over z lambda, e to the minus 1 over t d'opérateur minus nu, qui est un autre numéro, un numéro particulier. Right, so t is temperature, nu is a chemical potential, so nu must be here negative. So this, you see, e to the minus 1 operator, so this is a trace class operator, positive trace class operator over this space, and the z lambda is the partition function, which makes the trace equal to 1, so the usual convention. Nicolas? Yes? Is nu really negative in your case? Because we have the interaction. Sorry? You have an interaction, which match it? Yeah, that's right. So maybe I would say this. I will put this later. I think you are right that it's better too. But my notes says it's actually negative, but anyway. Perhaps I can squeeze in here some assumption that I will have all the way through the talk, but that I will always forget to recall, so I will assume positive Fourier transform for this operator, for this guy, which is convenient for us. And I will assume some regularity. So let me record the exact notation we need. If you take the Fourier coefficients of this guy, this sum, weighted sum, must be finite. But for the purpose of the talk, just think that w is smooth. I don't really care too much about the optimal assumption. Ok? A bit of notation that I will use all the time or so is that I will denote expectations in a state. So in this state, expectation of dot, which is so, if I take some operator, bounded operator, for example on the fox space, this will always mean trace of this operator against gamma lambda. So the standard quantum mechanical expectation value. Good. And for the purpose, or maybe not the statements, but the proofs, it's important to recall that this gamma lambda, this is to the minus something, it doesn't just come out of the blue. The reason why we're interested in this form is that this minimizes the free energy, which I think physically should not really be called free energy, but I will use free energy anyway. So maybe it's a functional. Over states of gamma is a positive self-adjoint operator with trace one on the fox space. So since it's a complexe Hilbert space, if it's positive, it's automatically self-adjoint. So nice lemma. This is free energy, so it's energy, then minus the action of the chemical potential. So this is, if you want expected value of the energy corrected by chemical potential. And then minus temperature times entropy. The entropy, I mean, it's the usual formula, minus integral rule of law. So I warn PDE people amongst you that I'm using the physics convention that the entropy is really what gets produced and dissipated. And this is just the quantum mechanical analog, so trace gamma log gamma. And that will be used a lot in our proof. OK. So next, this workshop is about scaling limits, right? So now I will scale my parameters. And I think in the abstract, I announced that it's a toy model for looking at the BC phase transition. Rather than toy model, I would like to say toy scaling, because you see the model is the Bonafide exact model. But what we will play around with are these three parameters that I've put. So there is lambda, there is nu, and there is temperature.  Because it's not supposed to be immediately obvious that what I'm going to write down is the relevant thing to do. And it's not the unique relevant thing to do anyway. So I'm going to call this a mean field limit because that's what it is, which in this situation will mean to me T temperature to infinity. But the reason I do this is that the particle number is not fixed. So taking temperature to infinity, in fact, is the way we impose actually you should really think of it as particle number going to infinity. So I will explain this in a moment. And then as you might expect, there is a scaling of the coupling constant so that things balance in a nice way. So it's lambda will be like 1 over T. So this goes to 0. And then the funny part is the chemical potential. Well, as Matthew explained at length, when you do grand canonical ensemble, the choice of the chemical potential, I mean, you have to be a little bit careful about what you take to achieve what you want. So it will be a funny number. Well, not funny for those who have already heard about VEC. So zeta 3 1⁄2, don't worry. So it's the Riemann zeta function, but it's just a number. Over 8, if I'm not making any mistake, pi to the 3 1⁄2, then I need to put here Fourier transform the interaction at 0, lambda minus 1⁄2 minus some new 0. Fixed. So this is fixed. And I claim, and I will explain that this means that in some sense, I'm zooming before the VEC phase transition. I accept, of course, I mean finite volume so it's not a proper phase transition. You can call it a quasi phase transition like they do in condensed matter physics. May I ask, so there is a minus in front of the chemical potential? Yes. So this tends to minus infinity? This tends to minus infinity, yes. Ah, okay. Now I have a doubt. Yeah, it's probably a plus here. Or probably it's a plus over there. Okay, so. It's the way that makes sense. So what I want to explain is oh yeah, definitely you should subtract something from the Hamiltonian, not add something. So the sign that makes sense is a plus here. So it's the idea that the mu really goes to infinity or minus infinity and not to 0? Oh, sorry, no, 0. What did I do? Oh, it's infinity. Yes, okay, it's infinity. Okay, so to motivate that I'm zooming before the phase transition I will consider the free-gip state and I start to motivate that this is really like taking n to infinity. So look at the free-gip state. Namely, so gamma 0 will be the guy with W equal to 0, not just lambda equal to 0 because if I put lambda equal to 0 here I'm in trouble. So the notation I hope is not too confusing when I say gamma lambda it means it has a W and I will say gamma 0 it means it doesn't have the W. So let's look at this one and so it does neither what this guy has it has this mu 0. Okay, I think I'd better write it down. So gamma 0 is 1 over a partition function exponential minus 1 over t d gamma of the Laplacian in the notation I had above plus mu 0 particle number. Okay, then what do we want to do? You want to look at the expected number of particles in this guy so I would note expectations in this guy with 0 so it doesn't have a fixed particle number. So you would like to know what is the expected particle number and that's where this funny number comes from is that it's this if my notes are correct at least t to the 3 half okay let me write it down once zeta 3 half 3 half it's really a dreadful constant 2 to the 3 half whatever that's leading order so that goes to infinity with the scaling it should have and then there is a correction which is t times some function of mu 0 that I will not define precisely because it's not really relevant what it is but it's like that and then you have still a lower order correction which is if I made no mistake is t to the 1 half so this if you remember Matthew's lecture I don't think he had the expression t to the 3 half but this is the expression when we do the calculation from the formula this is the expression of the critical density for BEC so let me call it C of t so which really means that BEC maybe I recall it means that note that I am on the torus with a fixed size so particle number and density is the same form so it means that if I take the same value of the number of operators in the 0 Fourier mode say in the free state this would this is supposed to be larger than a fixed constant that's the total expected number of particles if so particle if rho is less than rho sift is larger than rho sift so that's the number you get from the calculations in the thermodynamic limit this N0 is the guy which acts as on each sector it acts as if projects on each particle on the constant function so this is an orthogonal projector on the constant function ok so the leading order of the particle number is really this critical density and then I have a correction here which is non positive so basically all you need to know about this function phi so phi I don't really want to define because it's really just a remade it's really the error you make when you approximate the remand sum matured yesterday by the corresponding integral so it's really relevant what is important that this is non positive that phi is I guess it's positive and it's decreasing ok so that I hope explains why I take t to infinity because it's convenient to set so t to infinity with this new zero fixed so to say sets the system just before the phase transition so now I want to explain interaction in fact if I switch on the interaction and do nothing about it if I don't take a new of this form I will see nothing interesting the reason why this is that so why the choice of new is that if you just consider the bare interaction by which I mean this lambda w when you take the expectation say in the free state just to get an idea well of course this is a two particle operator so this will look like the expectation of the particle number squared which will look like well if you believe this it will be like lambda t to the 3 so it's not so much that it's too big but this is independent of new zero so I've set a parameter to help me look at things finely but if I look just at the leading order of the interaction then you don't see the parameter so it's probably you could expand to next to the leading order but we find it much more convenient to just remove something which would make the interaction talk not to this guy but to this guy which is the relevant one to go to the phase transition so what do you do when you see something like that what you want to do is renormalise so to say I will be more precise later renormalise interaction which will be like so the bare one and the chemical potential is used to so to say dump this guy in such a manner that if I take the expectation yes this will look like some energy reference that I don't care and that I will obtain just by completing a square so like namely something like I want this to look like so at this level of precision I want it to look like this I want it to look like a variance so quotation marks this is just heuristic but that's what I want so this energy reference is a constant I can just drop it each time I see it it doesn't set the state it just sets the energy reference but what is important is that I want this is that I want to have the variance and if you compute the variance of the particle number you will see that it will really talk to this guy and then this is going to be like lambda t squared and now it depends on nu 0 so that's good so then I can tune nu 0 and see something can I still ask a question about the scaling so you have the 1 over t in front of the Laplace Y and you take it to 0 so if you had the if you put in all physics constants you would have 1 over the usual temperature and then you would have an h bar squared instead of Laplace Y so is this in some sense semi-classical what you're doing?


Welcom y toffi TV er is mae'r three talking points, Everton One, Crystal Palace One, y Gwldersun Park tonight, she remain me throat still raw from a shopping at the players and the referee tonight. A wam ond raw yet, listen, frustrated, you know, speaking to people of army, you know, in the match and they're frustrated as well, you know, one gentleman come up to me after the game and said it won't be the 10 points, that's understood that it'll be the home form because it's a disgrace and it's difficult to argue with and seeing opportunities fall, you know, disappear in front of our eyes and that is my first talking point tonight and it is the home form. I've just gone on a little bit about it on the match reaction but it's something that needs to be reiterated. We've won three Premier League home games and the next time we take the pitch it doesn't, it's March. That is awful. Given we've won two of them in three days back in early December, take that away and we've won one game all season at home and I know you're not going to remove wins, of course, the Premier League have tried to, but three home wins, it's absolutely appalling. And like I said on my match reaction, home wins keep you in this division and I don't know, I don't know what they can do other than just consistently work on better attacking plays than what we have. Hitting a long ball from your goalkeeper can't be your game plan. Smash it long and hope don't get on the end of it. OBI either heads it up, brings it down, runs and scores or it just runs through when he puts it in. It's great to have it as a weapon to mix it up from what you're doing. That cannot be the only play because James Sarkowski hitting 60 yard cross for your passes is great. If you fall back then pulls it down and rides a pace and throws crosses in. Michael Enco doesn't. If there's anyone in front of me turns back, Dwight McNeill is exactly the same. If you give him a bit of space out wide he can put a nice cross and he did put a lovely ball in in the first half which Dom added wide. But the minute there's any kind of opposition player in front of McNeill he turns back. Last season, let's be honest, the first half of the season he was dreadful and then he was brilliant when Dice came in. He stepped up, he got us important goals, he was fantastic. We need that now. It's not being here all season. He had a little flurry in December, not being there for the rest of the season. And he's being left on the pitch, let's be perfectly honest, he's being left on the pitch for his delivery from a dead ball and no one be old. He crosses the corner in and on and on ahead to him. That isn't enough from a wire player. Now again, that's just me. I want my wire players to create things. I think Jack Harrison takes us up the pitch. I think he takes it the other way. Is he brilliant? No. But he's a good hard-working pro. He put a couple of great balls in one with his left foot, one with his right foot. He drives forward. We don't get that from Dwight McNeill. We certainly don't get it from Young because he hasn't got the legs to do it anymore. And so whatever I have to do is get our full backs around them and yet Michael Enco is not quick enough, decent defender, 1v1, good solid player and he's had a good season Michael. But it's not enough with teams who have sat back and there's no patterns of play as in short wall passes and creating angles. We knock it round the back.  We're doing it and we almost end up back with the goalie and then he just kicks it long anyway. It's not like we're drawing the press in to break the press and then we spring it. There's got to be more of a tack and threat when we go forward at home. And wait, I get it. I've got no issue, absolutely zero issue with what you're on diet and the management team do away from home. I think we're in most games. I think we cause teams problems because we're compact and we spring them sometimes with the core and with Don maybe and Harrison has been key to that when he's played. I think it goes to some park. There's too many moments where it's easy for the opposition. And if we can't get this right at home, our home wins aren't going to go the way we want them to. And away from home we've got tough games. You know, we've got to go to Newcastle and we've got to go to Manchester United. We've got to go to Arsenal. We've got to go to Chelsea. Looting away will be a horrible game. You've got Brighton away at the weekend. You're looking at them games and going, there's not, doesn't seem to be loads and loads of points there for us to take. Then you look at the home form and you go, well, we've just had a team at home tonight. You haven't got a manager. They've got three, four of their best players missing and we've not been able to beat them. And that is a real worry. It is a real worry. And that's where I am. Unless we can get this home form sorted, we're banging in trouble. We really are. And that's even with points coming back. So I don't know. I mean, you, let me know what you think the answers are. I really don't buy that. It's, it's on the play. The players aren't good enough because I see less equality teams with lesser players who I think are getting other teams around us in the Premier League and below us. That will, that cause other teams more problems, just simply by patterns of play. Like I say, defensively, the management team have got us really solid. But it isn't good enough to say, without the ball, we're great. The shape's great and we're tight. We can't rely on set pieces for all our goals. We just can't. We simply can't. We have money in eight Premier League games. That form is relegating for. That's where I am with it. Second thing I want to talk about is how important Adelaide D'Corey will be to us. It was great to have him back tonight. He was hitting miss. He's trying to get us going in the first half a few flicks. But again, I just don't think we end up at the same place. We're trying to get him almost running beyond on. But we don't create those moments. Certainly a gooderson. I always think he's performed really well away this season D'Corey. He's got key goals. He's got a couple of gooderson. But he just doesn't seem as effective at home. I think it is because we don't set the pitch. Generally, we don't sit on the edge of our box. But we're not pushing teams the other way, leaving gaps for him to get in. And I don't know what the tactic is because he doesn't... You know, Dominic Hall, the loom wins a lot of his headers, flicks things on. But it's not like D'Corey's steaming past them. So I don't know why. Because when you look at how number 10, if you want to play that, or a split striker should work, especially if you've got a big aerial threat like D'Corey, he should be gambling. Every time that ball's gone towards D'Corey, he should be gambling for any kind of flick on. He doesn't. He almost hangs back in front of that, as if Dom's going to be able to cushion the header down to him. And really, when that ball's going long, D'Corey should be gambling. And we should have one of our two midfielders pushing into the hole in case he drops to Dom. And then, therefore, we'd have an outlet with D'Corey. We'd have Dom on the edge and our two wide men should be right up as well. Don't we're almost in the old Terry Venable triangle, where we've got the striker. Everyone else has dropped back and the long ball's going to him. And if he can't get it on his chest, or cushion it down, it's gone. Because Dom ultimately is just flicking things on and there's not really much he can do. So I don't know. We've gone after coming up with that conundrum. It's great to have him back and he'll be key. And keeping him fit will be key. But we have got to somehow fathom this out and fathom how we can get more out of his ability at Goddus and Park because right now we're struggling. And I do believe we can do more. I do believe we can play better than what we're playing and create better quality chances. I think whether you buy into this or listen to Jesse Marsh, whether you think Jesse Marsh has a clue or he doesn't have a clue, he was, you know, believe on Skype tonight, I've been sent a couple of quotes from him and he was kind of saying, I believe it's great having these chances that you're missing. But you're missing a, there is a little bit of misfortune, but it's a level of, it's quality of player of course. But it's also the quality of chances. It's okay things dropping around in a box and you're getting a shot that gets blocked over ever. That isn't good quality chances when you look around other teams, do we? So we've got to do more with that definitely and, you know, home form and decor. For me, it's going to be absolutely key moving forward and he's got to get that midfield balance, right? And, you know, I think James Garner and Adrissa Garner guy are probably going to have to split the time and I personally would lean towards Adrissa Garner guy at the minute. I think James Garner has had a good season. I think he's a nice footballer, but I think we just get more out of Adrissa and you need Amadou Ounana in there. So again, that's a difficult decision for the manager to make him, but I have to see what he comes up with there moving forward. And then the third and final point has got to be, you know, we're waiting with better breath for these points back. I mean, how can this appeal thing continue? Now, we've almost got, I'm sure this is what the manager is treating it like that. We're not getting any points back, which means we are in right now a straight battle with Luton Town. Can we match the results if we do?  But how can this just be allowed to bob on the way it is? How can it take so long? How can clubs like Luton, you know, when Everton not know where the positions are? And then, you know, there's another charge now. For what it's worth for me, and again, I know nothing like anybody else, but Everton shouldn't even be in any fear whatsoever that they'd get more points taking, because there should never ever be the opportunity to do a club twice for the same offense, which is ultimately what it would be. But I couldn't sit here and go, we'll be all right because they won't do us for the second. We'll get points back and they won't do us for the second offense. Now, the only way that probably wouldn't happen is if the mitigation that Everton have put forward this time means that they accept that, and then the Premier League have to accept that. The thing why Everton have potentially gone over in their eyes, and don't forget because Everton have accepted the Premier League's rule and because they have to, Everton are not accepting that they've reached. So, we'll have to wait and see how that plays out, but if it was the case where they accepted the mitigation, then that may remove the second charge. It may not, and therefore there's a threat of points, and who's to say Everton don't get five points back, say? Then get hit with six points next time, then appeal it and get three back, or appeal it and get none back. And therefore, we're actually one point worse off than we are now, so this is why the home phone will be key, and this is why we have to win. But the big, my big issue with this is, and I'm reason I'm putting it in tonight as a third and final talking point, is because it is affecting games that we play all the time. It is affecting the conditions that we're playing, and how can that be fair? And I get, listen, there'll be fans of other clubs that are watching this, trolls, you'll get fans of other clubs that believe, mach use and things like that, and listen to a narrative that the Premier League have pushed that Everton away the half has overspent. There'll be Evertonians who don't want to hear it, they don't want to accept it, you know, stop talking about it, we've just got to accept it. We've got to talk about it because it's relevant, but whether or not whatever fan you are, they found that's your point of view, and this is my, but it is affecting the conditions against it. It's affecting Godderson Park. It is. You're going in there. If Everton had gone in there tonight on 29 points, if I'm sat here tonight, we're on 30 points, we're 10 points at the Looting. I'd be quite confident saying, we're fine. We will win three more games, Looting are getting 39 points, we're safe, we'll be safe, we're not safe right now, we'll be safe because we'll be more relaxed and therefore we're able, we'd feel more confident, we'll get over the line. And then start again, you know, maybe there's big changes needed in the summer and all that, and you move forward. But that isn't the case. We are sat in that ground. You can tell most Evertonians are stressed with it, worried, fearful, and that translates onto the pitch, whether you accept it or not it does. Are they professionals should they be able to play through? Well, it affects them. It's their team, and all of a sudden they're in the bottom three when they feel like they should be 12th. We'd be 12th now on 30 points. It's a different outlook. And so the fact that the Premier League are just leaving this hanging on. I just personally, I can't get my head round how it can take longer than the first one. But listen, I have waffled for, for long enough. Thank you. If you stuck it out, thank you very much for that. Give the video a thumbs up, subscribe if you haven't. We appreciate eating everyone you subscribe. Let me know what you think in the comments section below and see you soon. Take it easy. See you later.