As always awkwardly looking at the call recording software. We're good. We're live. Hey everybody drew here from that anxiety guide com With me again Billy from anxiety United in the UK. Good morning, Bill. Yes We're good to be here.  We're gonna we're talking about an article I'll just go through the quick introduction. We're talking about an article. I wrote years ago It will be linked in the video description no matter where you're watching or listening You'll be able to find that and we're just taking the article step by step little section by section and kind of you know blogging vlogging whatever you call this on each section to expound on it a bit and This is number eight. I believe this is number eight in the series and today We're going to talk about the idea of finding the root cause of our anxiety problems Mm-hmm, and I don't know much how much importance you put on that. Yes, and it's important That I think this might be the first one that we had the first little Subject that I'm gonna start by saying this is a big one. I mean it isn't they're all important But this isn't one of those ground-shaking ones. I think yeah Other than and I guess I'll start the discussion by saying I think finding the root of the problem is something that is always worth doing But it this is a subject that could kind of along with the we're going to do next week about Therapy and professional help these are things that aren't necessarily impediments to progress Which we talk about a lot obstacles, but they could send people down maybe a wrong path Not necessarily bad, you know working on yourself is always good But in terms of dealing with anxiety sometimes this can send people down the wrong path You know and waste a little time, so maybe we'll talk about that a bit So in terms of finding there, I'll just start by what I wrote here So I wrote finding the causes of your panic attacks is a good thing, but not by itself Mm-hmm stress negative thinking reactions to past traumas and emotional issues issues are just some of the many possible Panic and anxiety triggers and we're all different our life circumstances are all different and that means there is no one cause for panic attacks So I don't know maybe we should start with that. Have you ever gone down the road where you know It's a well if you just get to the bottom of this will solve Yeah, no, I think for me Like the the main instigating factor was stress like I had a major stressful event Okay, I was also I don't know whether other people know but I was a weed smoker When this first started or I just stopped smoking weed so whether that was a contributing factor I don't know okay, but I think for me like just these Explosions of stress and these events. That's what caused my initial panic So I think the stress led to the panic response But then since then it's it's just been a Fear of having another panic attack. So that's what I was thinking with finding the root cause I don't think the root cause is the problem of the panic anymore Because it's the panic that is the problem of the panic. It's not the fact that I had a stressful Event I don't think about that when I panic anymore. I think about the last panic or You know, I mean, yeah, so finding it's not it's not the cause It's just the stressful event but knowing that that happened has no effect on whether I freak out in the next 10 minutes or not All right, well, let's wrap it up because I think you just summed it up for today. We're done Yeah, bam Billy totally nailed it I think and that is my view on this too finding the root cause that led you into a state of anxiety to begin with is Not never a bad thing to do But when you get into a situation where you're dealing with panic disorder or an anxiety disorder We're like Billy just said what you're actually afraid of is the next panic attack or how you feel or your symptoms Are those negative thoughts in your head? The root cause doesn't matter anymore. Now it's a new cause You know, you nailed it. You summed it up. We got we're about like four minutes in we're done I would just tell jokes and sing songs for the rest of the time Yeah, yeah, okay great two guys walking to a bar So I think that's super important and I find Recognizing that and just like anything else where we've talked about this so many times, you know It's really we're afraid of how we feel or how we might feel in a given situation That's what leads us to curtail our lifestyle and the world to get smaller for us when we're you know Afraid of panic attacks and afraid of anxiety and I see a lot of people do go down the road of like well I'm gonna see a therapist which is awesome Everybody should do it at some point in their life probably because we all have issues and everybody comes with issues That's that's totally fine. It's part of being human And I see many people go down that road where they do feel like if I could just find out why it must to you know Yeah, must have been something in my past it must You think there's possibly maybe a bit of a stigma attached to seeking therapy because when you see in movies and that there's all It's always they sit down tell me about your relationship with your mother stuff like that Yes, I play the part in people thinking that that may help them. I think that's what I always see I do think that and I think this will bleed into a little bit of next week's topic, too Yeah, yeah therapy But I do think that because in the media we are we see therapy as one thing We it's very rarely portrayed as anything But sitting in the therapist office, you know face-to-face and talking about trauma and angst and you know distress and the things that have led you to this horrible place and and that's a psychodynamic type of therapy and that's a thing and it has benefit but The best portrayal and I'll throw this out there I should save this for next week, but but I love this so much because do you ever watch the Sopranos? American I haven't I haven't my dad did and he told me quite a bit about it Yes, I should watch it the Sopranos is you know outstanding, you know It's it's been over long ago, and you know, but if you get a chance to watch the Sopranos at some point the central character Tony Sopranos this this mafia boss in New Jersey just so well done by James Gunn-Lafini. It's such a good series But he starts the series by having panic attacks. So yeah, yeah, I heard about you Yeah, and he goes to he enlists the aid of a therapist played by Lorraine Bracco And and they just sit and talk and at some point and I remember watching the series And I loved it so much thinking like this is wrong that you get the wrong therapy I'm yelling at Tony Soprano. This is the wrong therapy And at one point his therapist has her own therapist as most therapists do have their own therapist And that therapist tells her like why are you talking to this guy? You know that what you're doing is not effective for an anxiety disorder, and I remember standing up like yes They acknowledged it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I think what you said in terms of that stigma of like well I have to dig up skeletons for my panic attacks to go away Yeah, that's not really true Because like you said once you get to the point where it's the panic itself that you fear That's it. Yeah, the skeletons fade. They don't matter anymore. I wonder if it has an effect if There was a traumatic event that led to the first panic attack whether that but would not sort of crossover into PTSD a bit would it all I've heard people talk about that. This is a tough topic because it's so There's so many facets. Yeah, we could cross over and go down different avenues and we could and here's my thought like what when When you start when you get to the point where it's actually the pound just reading a little bit when you get to the point Where it's the panic that you're afraid of like you said Whatever that root causes starts to fade into the background But once you've got to the point where you're not afraid of panic anymore like in my case, for instance You know, I live a pretty normal life at this point, but every once in a while I do experience anxiety and even panic And I you know is the root cause that led me to this in 1986 is that still an issue that Could it could be and so why am I why even though I've gotten past being afraid of how I feel? Why do I still continue to be predisposed to this? People might argue. It's physical. It's genetic possibly, but yeah, you know, is there still something bothering me from my past? It's it's possible. It's possible So I think you can't discount it, but what I would What what did I say in the article learning to identify your triggers and deal with them as an important part of recovery? But only if we're also doing the work that you and I have been talking about yeah Yeah, that's it. You had to be facing the panic and learning to not be afraid of it. So there's no way around that. I Think so you got to do both, you know, you got to learn to not be afraid and then you also have to be Once you've gotten to that point then sure working on It's a tricky it's a tricky one because I mean some people could go back and try and go over whatever it was that Started the the panic and that could help them But it could also be Detrimental because it might actually make them feel worse going back and looking over stuff So I suppose each their own it's the decision that you have to make It is your own choice. Isn't it? It's not a fact of you need to go back and try and deal with it Yeah, it may well make you worse And I think the main message that we have to get out in this particular episode is that it's worth doing the work When you think it's right for you like you said, it's very yeah, there's no blanket answer to this But it's important to understand that digging into your past and looking for skeletons and traumatic events When you're really afraid to go to the supermarket or get in your car. Yeah, yeah, you're going down the wrong road I mean it's all right. So yeah prioritize first You got to be able to get back to the supermarket or the shopping mall or the school recital or whatever And once you've solved that problem and you're not afraid of your own body and mind anymore then By all means start today So it's a tough one because I I I've known many people who spent a lot of time sitting in a therapist's office You know probably making some progress. There's personal growth and things of that nature But but getting so so so frustrated because I don't you know, I'm still panicking I'm still I still can't get in the car and my therapist told me that I'm trying to please everybody Okay, maybe you do That's so it's only possible but that isn't going to help you get in the car. So yeah, so Yeah, I don't know. I mean have you ever considered do we want to go down this sort of a bit of a personal road here? Have we ever considered what our own? You said it's stressful event mine. Yeah, yeah mine was girl trouble basically I had a I had a fallout with her with a girlfriend And she sent two chaps around to my house and they smashed my car With a hammer they smashed a windscreen on my car with a hammer And they were shouting up because I used to live above a shop with my dad Yeah, like in he's Mason that thing and they were smashing the car up And they were shouting me to go downstairs because they wanted to yeah Duff me up with the hammers and it weren't it weren't then that I had the freak out It was a couple of days after and I was home at home on my own with my lad Yeah, but I think my dad was at work doing security or weather and I'd put my son to bed And I was just sitting downstairs playing on the Xbox and just that's when it just happened for me I think it was like a fear of maybe if they come now because at the time that it happened My brother was there had a neighbor around we are playing Tiger Woods goal from the Xbox. Yeah You know, so I had I had a few people there So they were almost dealing with it with me, right? But then when I was at home on my own mice Like I think my son was about five years old or something So I was feeling a bit more vulnerable, I guess sure and that that was when it sort of although nothing happened Right, but that's what my brain decided we're gonna deal with this now And that is a traumatic kind of thing. I mean, yeah, you know, you live the Sopranos, dude You don't have to watch it that it's like a scene from that. Yeah. It was scary. Yeah That's definitely an upsetting thing for sure. I get that so you know, that's good If you take that as like well that was sort of the triggering event I mean, there's there's it'd be very hard to I don't live there now People don't walk the streets we all get hammers around this area. That's good. No, so that's good There was a murder across the road like a month ago. All right, carry on carry on. Yeah, I spoke about it Dear welcome to the UK welcome to the UK. Hey, you know, you see what's going on here right now I Think we could draw if we look at that and say, oh, yeah, then I'll tell my story too But if we look at that story as okay, that was a scary event. It was stressful bubble and it triggered this I mean down the road getting to the point where you have to kind of you know, force yourself to work walk down to the mailbox You can't really draw a connection. It's just not yet It's snowballs so far beyond that to be just being afraid that you will panic if you go to the mailbox That was it. That was the the initial thing was just the what I was so Focused on how I was feeling Not the thought of I've got more people could come that didn't even end in my mind. It was just what's happening to me Right, right, you know, and that's where we escalate then the next time something happened to me Like physically I just went went down that rabbit. Yeah, it makes sense for me the very I feel like I lost my audio No, there we go the very first time that I ever had a panic attack like things could not be going any better Can you hear me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Things could not be going any better. I was I guess that was my sophomore year at at college It was 1986 which was a long time ago, and I remember I was in the house I grew up in I was home for spring break actually so I was like laying in my my bedroom like the most familiar comfortable safe place in the world and It hit me just like out of the blue I had a perfect grade point average that semester everything was going great and Banned the wheels just fell off on me.  You can't put any more milk in it It's overflowing. It's over. You have to ante it and that might be true I'm sure that there's things in my past that probably have to deal with but But it was so ineffective and I think the message really here is when you're finding the root cause you're going down A road with a type of therapy that isn't shown to be terribly effective in Solving the immediate problem. So, you know, I don't know at some point Well, I go back and look at you know, like my parents were divorced divorced when I was in elementary school And I'm sure that that has some impact on me and did that contribute? I don't know maybe but in the end Without ever really uncovering that root cause here. I am so yeah got past all those issues. So I think I Ended this the little section of the article by saying learn not to fear panic into the long run It won't matter what that original root cause was you'll never spend your time worrying about having a panic attack again And and yeah, that's you still may live with some fear or regret or trauma from your past or your childhood But you'll still be able to get in your car and go to work or pick up your kids from school or Be alone or do all those things. So one thing that was interesting that you said about your therapist saying the milk bottle Was for you need to empty it. Yeah My my doctor's advice was to put a lid on the bottle with medication So it's just interesting you go see one person. They'll tell you one thing you go see somebody else and you'll get something completely different Yeah, that that is there is no there's no one-size-fits-all is them No, no, there's definitely not and we all come from different circumstances and you're right And even different professionals that you go to help will approach it different ways And we'll talk about that next week with the different types of therapy But everybody has a different way and I have I had a doctor in my past and you know Maybe maybe as an adjunct to this we will do like a meds one feel really like putting on our flame flame-proof suits, but I Had a doctor at one point who felt the same way He he basically told me you can't think your way out of this and you have a chemical imbalance And if you were diabetic you would take insulin wouldn't you and that was his solution to the problem That went horribly wrong for me, but we'll talk about that one other day Yeah, yeah, so I you know we're only 16 minutes into this which is short for us But I do we have anything else we want to say about this particular topic. I don't think there is I don't think there is I think this is an individual one in it. We're just perhaps offering a bit of advice And I thought I thought some whether it would benefit us like you you're not sure whether it would but for me I don't personally think There would be any value in me like I can still think of what happened and that but it doesn't make me feel Anxious or nothing like that. Mine is is solely based on Yes, the physical effects of a panic attack. I think I Would agree with that assessment in my case too, you know when I say it might be helpful I think sure maybe I'll get something out of laying on a sofa and talking about my mom I guess yeah, yeah, but I have absolutely overcome the anxiety and panic thing without ever Getting to the root cause of the problem. So yes to me It's all a pretty fine need. Yeah, my advice is the best therapist I ever had said hey look if you walk into the emergency room and you're bleeding the first thing we do is stop the bleeding Then then we'll worry about why you're bleeding But the first thing you have to do is stand and in our case the first thing I have to do is stop that bleeding So that's it then worry about why you're bleeding. Mm-hmm. So I think that's it. So next week. We're gonna talk about Therapy and professional help which I think is is a pretty good topic because of the different types of therapy confusion Surrounding which therapists I should go to what type of therapy and what's effective? Why didn't this work for me? We'll talk about that Perhaps look at self help as well. Oh, that's good. We should add some self help in there. Yeah Yeah, without a doubt. So that that's where we are. All right, so I guess we'll wrap this one up as Always how can people find you bill anxiety United calm? Facebook calm slash anxiety night it's Twitter anxiety night It's all anxiety. You know, you just you can find me there Go anywhere same thing for me that anxiety guide calm or YouTube fit that anxiety I just that anxiety on whatever platform And as always we're gonna have to we're supposed to ask people to like the video and subscribe That's it like and subscribe and leave your comments down below because as we keep saying we're gonna look at doing q&a's at The end of this and trying to go through a few of your comments Yeah, without a doubt comment in the video or email. Yeah, whatever. We're near in the end of this article now So we are there's only we have one two. We really have three But really the last one is not even a thing. It was a little yeah. Yeah, we only have two episodes of this left Then let us know let us know as well because we haven't actually mentioned But let us know what you thought of episode seven because me personally I thought that was the the best one so far because it was the most hard hitting the most honest and I Personally even though I'm on it have definitely taken things away from listening to that last week That that's so funny because it's just so everybody knows as we record this We have not released episode seven yet because we did it last week and when we're done when I hit the end button On this one. I'm gonna publish that one. So I haven't watched it all the way through so I'm gonna take your word for it I was a bit of a rant So you haven't seen episode seven go back and watch it on the advice of my my friend Oh, yeah, and I guess that's it. So comments questions send them our way. We'll see you guys next time I guess thanks for stopping by later


So welcome everyone on the very last session of the day. I'm glad so many people still showed up here Come on take a chair take a chair if you want to participate in the in the competition. You have to have a chair All right, so first thing first Thank you. Thank you for surviving another deaf conf 11th deaf conf Lots of sessions lots of people. I won't tell how many because it's part of the quiz that is coming Big thanks to the to the volunteers who've been here for the whole weekend Helping with everything around here. So if you can do a please a round of applause to everyone who helped here Thanks a lot All right, so I hope you enjoyed the conference. I hope you had fun. I hope you are coming next year I have some disappointing news guys. It's gonna be same time next year Same place, I guess All right, so before we jump to the competition I have few things to share with you guys First we had some side competitions here so with the first one Yuri and Moses are coming so guys you want to announce the winners of the coding challenge Hey We had two competitions today senior one and a junior one in the afternoon the surprises for the senior were already delivered because there are people that had to go home But we were able to drag the juniors here So they could be on the stage as well and get all the fame for that. So I would like to invite here a redneck Eva Yes, you have to bring your balloons and Bogda so After two hours of struggle with lines of code wild errors appearing on the screen These people they survive it to the competition and I would like to give This nice blanket to Radek as a third place prize this other nice Picnic blanket to Eva as second prize and the first prize This amazing IoT kit Thanks, Brian Brian Thanks, Brian for the kit to Bogda It was very close very close at the end like and the last 15 minutes ever was leading but then He catch up and in the score It was close you too like fought to the end okay, and as consolation prize I Would like to give my pasta truck cookies to Anna because she's a senior and she joined The junior competition because she couldn't attend in the morning Bring your balloons bring your balloons. Oh, thank you guys for joining the competition I hope more people will join next time we do something like that cookies and Thanks, Radek for the opportunity Okay, thank you guys We had another competition some of you were following us on Twitter There were a number of tweets with pictures and and tips for evening parties from you guys I'm glad that you've participated in this and a lot of people Showed their badge and of course they put some nice picture on their batch. So Mikey who won the competition Thank you, my name is Mikey and I was the mostly invisible hand behind the badge flare competition And we had more than 20 qualifying entries and a few other Inspirational entries from organizers and people who were not actually eligible eligible to participate but we're leading by example, and I was just enjoying watching everybody decorate their badges and sharing the spirit of the competition and We have one winner and the winner was selected based not only of creative use of their badge Badge stickers, but creative use of their badge as well. So the most interesting and thought-out design is Come back here So we do also have some honorable mentions give her round of applause He just gave out a bunch of prizes and now you win this fantastic Swag pack, there's a blanket in there as well And a bunch of other things so thank you so much for everyone who participated We do have some honorable mentions that I will post on Twitter soon And we hope that other dev confevents might be inspired to run this as well So thank you very much for letting me crash your party Thanks a lot Mikey so For every jump to this I want to mention few names I want to mention Mikey Moses Yuri, but also Brian Axelbeer for organizing the event Dorca at the door, Kvetka, Martina Lots of people who put an enormous effort in organizing this event One thing that I want to mention here, and you guys probably are a believer of this Defconf is not just about presenting and doing sessions, but also trying different other things doing whatever you want So I'm glad that people stepped up and did the competition did the badges thing Help with organizing the event help with many other things that without those the Defconf would be as much fun as it was So thanks Brian, especially thanks to you because you've been the cut herder of the event So big applause for Brian and the group of volunteers All right, so this is really the very last thing of the day, and that's the quiz So maybe I'll do a first test whether you're still paying attention For how many of you this was the very first Defconf here? Oh, that's it. That's a lot of people a second Defconf third fourth fifth Six Seventh Eight nine ten eleven All right, I'm glad some people are still coming back So that was a warm-up for what you will be doing for next couple minutes because we'll be doing this pop quiz thing And here are simple rules that you will have to follow So first don't do anything right now There will be questions and all these questions have two answers one is wrong and one is correct You will all have to stand up and use your hands for picking the right question your left hand Which is actually this hand Is for the first answer your right hand again is for the second answer and If you got the answer wrong you will sit down and we'll be playing this game Until we'll have the winners. So this can be actually quite long Or very short you never know I'm gonna ask you all for helping me. So if you see people around you cheating Please take care of them escort them out of the room things like this All right, so let's try it let's all stand up And again a reminder left hand is the first transfer right hand is the second one We'll do a test question first, okay So first question is Defcon 2019 Happens in following cities Bernau Bangalore in Boston Bernau Beijing and Boston first answer or second answer, all right, okay, cool and The first one is correct So whoever was wrong you get to stand still this was a test question But I think we we understand what is needed, right? So Before we go on this is an announcement Defcon will continue and we'll have two Defcons this year In August one in US and one in Bangalore Bose I think the the one in India has already started CFP the one in Boston will start shortly you might have seen their posters at the entrance and Go there submit the papers these events are as interested as the one here So you should definitely participate if you can We'd like to make a small mention that those dates are wrong It's actually the 15th through the 17th of August in the US There's a nice big sign that no one seems to have noticed in the registration area That has the dates and the CFP so Yeah, the India one is there to do what I did take a picture because I also can't remember it even though I'm running it so you know Yeah, so August 15th through 17th. All right, thanks Let's move on All right, so this is the first real question. Okay, so pay attention So how many Defcon events were organized so far 13 or 15? All together worldwide all sorts of different events 13 or 15 All right It's actually 15 different events Okay, well This is going to be quicker you guys will be sooner home. That's fine So just to mention this is 11th some of us have it on the back 11th Defcon in Czech Republic, but we also had two dev cons in India one in the US and we also organized Defcon for Ocho in Prague Focused on containers so 15 events all together All right, so those who are standing you guys continue From how many countries people traveled to Defcon? It was less than 25 or more than 25 countries less than 25 more than 25 All right It's more than 25 countries Number one was Czech Republic number two United States and number three. I'm gonna actually ask this question It was there just a minute ago a second ago Numbers three country for the attendees was Austria or Slovakia Austria Slovakia All right It's actually Austria Cool And now who's from Austria wins right? All right, so we still have Quite a few people so let's do another round. Let's see what happens Because I have some cool questions and I want to go go through them So how many warranties were helping during this whole weekend was that more than 80 volunteers or actually less than that? More or less It was almost a hundred So quite a few Yes, we have people still standing how many of you three six nine Well, you guys want to do another question or want to pick up some prizes We still have way too many right so let's do another one All right, sorry yeah, okay, I ruined this how many volunteers we should have next year all of you of course So Question about sessions how many sessions did we had at the DEF CON here this weekend was it 303 or 262 All right, and it was actually more than 300 sessions with over 330 unique speakers, so we had a huge number of speakers this week this year and then Alright, so we have 10 people like roughly maybe 11 12 we'll do How many prizes do we have? So we either you guys either will pick some prizes and then we won't do a second round Or I'll do another question and then I will have more prizes left so we can do a second round All right, so I'm gonna tease these guys a little bit more so this this is a tough one How many bananas were eaten during the weekend? 250 kilograms quarter of a ton or more than half of a ton All right It's quite a lot actually All right, I'm not gonna tease you anymore come come here. These guys are winners of the first round All right guys, we have some prizes I'll leave this up to you what you were gonna pick There are some blanket speakers. I don't know it's on in the black box. So mystery black box mystery white box I think that's a coffee coffee mug and some caps. So go ahead ladies first, I guess Matt ladies first You're welcome. All right, so you have to pick the prize in five four three two one All right, so we have like a couple things here, let's see what I have around down here All right, let's say I have something also here So we're gonna continue All right, so who wants to do the second round stand up And I promise these questions are much more harder. So this is going to be way quicker We're gonna get to some very precise numbers. So how many water bottles were distributed now that we counted the bananas Let's count the water bottles for over four thousand or less than that actually so It's actually four thousand water bottles that we gave away to all the speakers volunteers and you guys as well Lots of water distributed Let's go to this thing. How many attendees did we have this year more than 1500 or less than 1500 This is this is what I've seen like two hours ago in the online check-in We had 1484 people checked in To be honest, we had over 1700 registrations. I guess the the weather and the flu season kind of Reduced that number of people who actually showed up here, but still almost 1500. That's great. That's amazing. Yes this this I think this the everyone checked in right so including the volunteers, right All right, if everyone shared the badge like seriously, that's a black market. We don't know about it Right if you paid more than hundred dollars for the ticket, brace your head All right, so this is an interesting one as well Who's the speaker with most sessions? Whose name was most or several times on the schedule? Was it uli or tomas to my check i've seen tomas somewhere and uli somewhere here as well over there All right, it's a it's a tie So you're all losing God you're you're not a list here right so you're not part of the question All right, so I'll I'll move to some other questions again, we still have quite a few people This is when I look at some github statistics and and I try to come up with some funny funny things out of it What's the most popular tech on github these days? Is it about gaming and games or machine learning? And I guess I guess a lot of you attended the machine learning sessions because that is the most popular thing on github these days awesome what else Is matt still standing now? He's not cool. So we can we can do this fedora core one was released in 2001 or 2003 It's 2003 some people think that fedora is even older than it is. It's actually quite old but not that old Right, uh, I'm already reusing some questions from last year. So this should be easier Uh, what's the last fedora release or reached last fedora release had a cone day? Was it fedora 20 or fedora 19? Fedora 20 is a buck How many people do we have? Mike All right, you guys are winners again, and I think we're we're over. So this these five or six people come down pick some prizes Last round of applause here