This is JSA TV, the newsroom for tech and telecom professionals, and JSA Radio, your voice for tech and telecom on iHeart Radio. I'm Jamie Skada-Kataja, and on behalf of my team here at JSA, welcome to our monthly virtual CEO roundtable. These virtual roundtables lead us up to our on-site CEO roundtables at our C-level networking event, the Telecom Exchange. Next one up, June 20th in Hoboken, New Jersey at the W Hotel. And then later in the year, Telecom Exchange LA, November 7th, Beverly Hills. More info on both events at ctelecomexchange.com. So let's get started. We are here today, and it's an exciting roundtable. We are kicking off the very first of a biannual series featuring an all-female virtual CEO roundtable panelist. So our topic today, Climbing the Executive Ladder as Women in Tech and Telecom. We should mention that this comes on the heels of JSA announcing its Women's Speaking Initiative, or WSI, where we encourage articulate female thought leaders in our industry to fill in those speaking resumes on jsa.net. So we can share those profiles quarterly to event producers in our industry. And I hope that we can encourage more women as speakers on important tech and telecom panels and roundtables such as this.  Again, first of its kind, all female virtual roundtable, and introduce you to our executive lineup from five absolutely innovative ladies and five absolutely innovative companies. We have Ms. Sarah McComb, she's the Director of Global Acquisitions of Microsoft. Brynn Fowler, Director of Network Planning, Strategy and Enablement of Oracle. Sandra Dinovales, Head of Partner Alliances of Telehouse International Corporation of America, KDDIA. And Sarea Tarant, Sales Executive, Carrier Market of Telecom Italia Sparkle. And Amy Mark, CEO and Co-Founder of Excite Modular. All right, ladies. So let's go ahead and go around the corner. And our first question, also a little bit about yourself, your role in your respective organizations. Sarah, we'll begin with you. Hi, everyone. As Amy said, my name is Sarah McComb. I am the Director of Global Network Acquisitions for Microsoft, focusing on the Asia-Pacific region. So this is India to the west coast of the United States. We cover everything from network topology to network location and specialty cable acquisition. I've been in the industry for about 15 years, the last four of those at Microsoft. And I'm also really proud to say that I'm one of the co-founders for the Women's Tech Forum, which is a new initiative that started about a year and a half ago. As a new industry group for women in the industry, run by women. And we're really happy with how it worked out. And I should say we are so honored to have two of the very four founders of WTC, Bryn, an introduction for you. Hello, my name is Bryn Fowler. I work for Oracle. I am Director of Network Planning Strategy and Enablement for our cloud products. So I own both acquisition as well as the business development function of our cloud connect product called VasConnect. I've been in the industry for about 15 years. Before Oracle, I launched Megaport's SDM platform into the United States and Europe. And then I also spent some time at Microsoft. I'm very proud to be one of the co-founders of the Women's Tech Forum, also lovingly known as WTF. And I think we really built the network and built the support system to be just that. We recognized that there was a gap in the industry of women not being able to get to know women outside of the industry and conferences and work that we do on a day to day basis. So the women, including myself, decided, you know, since something doesn't exist, we're going to create something. And so it's really blossomed into what it's become today. And I'm really proud of that. Love it. Sandra? My name is Sandra Dinebellis and I am head of partner alliances here for KDDI Tallahouse, the U.S. division of KDDI. For those of you who don't know KDDI, we are a global telecommunications company, Global Fortune 300. And I have been with the company for just about seven and a half years. Prior to my role in partner alliances, I headed up the global marketing effort here out of the U.S. Including digital PR, event strategy, and analyst relations, as well as some partner management. And again, I've been in the industry for 20 plus years in a variety of different roles, working for Sprint, IBM, and also on the ad agency side. I worked for Ogilvy and Mather for many years, as well as having my own consulting firm in the arts and entertainment industry, completely outside of tech and telecom. But so really looking forward to the richness, I think, of this discussion with so many different types of backgrounds and experiences. We as well. Hi, everybody. My name is Saraya Terrence. I've been in the industry exclusively in the telecom industry for more than 25 years, starting as a telecom engineer. I have been with Telecom Italia now and responsible for wholesale carrier sales for North America. Telecom Italia Barco is a large telecom company, global company with investment in undersea cable around the world. And it's a tier one IP transit provider worldwide. And Amy, round yourself. Hi, my name is Amy Marks and I'm the CEO of Excite Modular. We are design builders of steel and concrete modular cable landing stations, as well as modular data centers, edge data centers, micro data centers, pretty much anything in the tech side of things. All of our buildings are designed and built here in the United States, and we ship them overseas to be rapidly deployed in locations all over the world. We've done actually design and built buildings on six of the seven continents.  And I'm an alumna of the Harvard Business School. Wonderful. Excited to have you ladies and we're going to just roll up our sleeves dig right in. First tough question out what challenges and Brent will stop with you here. What challenges have you faced while climbing that executive ladder and tech and telecom. The question, I think it's actually varied at various stages throughout my career I think as I was younger entering the industry in my career, a lot of the challenges that I faced were in many ways within myself. And I had to find opportunities to build myself confidence and build success through the work that I did. I think as I've grown up in the industry one of the biggest challenges and actually I would say this is a pretty big benchmark in my career was the move that I made from an individual contributor going into management. And for me personally, I wasn't finding opportunities within the company that I worked for that would give me those opportunities to lead a team and to grow and develop my own staff. So I ended up looking outside the company and finding opportunities to grow my career and and really expand myself, which is something that I really had a passion in doing as I've grown up into leadership roles. I think the biggest challenges have really been about, again, going back to that authentic self and perception of what my capabilities are and understanding and owning what what I've developed and what I've been able to grow in. And know within myself throughout my career. So I think a lot of it, a lot of my confidence and a lot of what I've been able to do professionally is definitely a reflection of the mentors and the people that I've had around me. But it's also been a function of just getting to know myself and getting to know what works for me and what doesn't work for me. So it's really, in many ways, been an evolving process. And I try to look at every obstacle is also an opportunity to learn and to move forward. Sandra, if you could weigh in, challenges you faced. Sure, I agree. I think that it evolves over time. For me, I think early in my career was learning how to be more visible. How to differentiate yourself. I was working in a large organization where I was starting out in sales. And so, you know, in addition to standing out and being doing the job and performing at a high level, it's like, how do you differentiate yourself and be more visible. And I think part of that was also taking on, you know, different roles or asking to take on different projects or creating a task force, for example, which is something that I did early on in community relations. So I would suggest that that's certainly a good way to go. I think after as my career evolved, there were other expectations that I had. I think a lot of times from my manager or boss at the time, you know, direction that I expected to get and didn't receive. So I think, you know, the process of growing early on is very much to do, as Bryn says, looking within, right. So in the case of, for me, I think it was to definitely, you know, figure out ways to, you know, to evolve and to grow. So, Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well said, Soraya. Jamie, the challenges that I faced as I moved up the ladder are really no different to challenges that many women face, not only in our industry, but in other industries as well. And as I moved up, I kind of the benefit of having supportive mentors and people that pull you up diminished. And I found that performance alone are no longer enough that you need to have a strategy and you have to have allies. By the way, this is supported by research. As women move up the ladder, the structured, structured talent management, and I use the term talent and I like it because talent implies that the talent already is there. And therefore you are supporting it, nurturing it and managing it. And that is unfortunately lacking in many companies, not only in our industry. So that's what the other thing is, of course, you also have your personal responsibility. You really need to find those allies and network and be a team player.  And so, yeah, and one last thing that I want to mention is that this focus on nurturing talent. You have to have a keen eye on it because as we become decentralized and global and you bring in different cultures and their views and biases towards growth, you really have to make sure you keep your eye on the ball. Amy? Well, I almost giggle a little at the question because I, again, I'm in tech and construction, so it's almost like what is not a challenge in every part of my activity I've ever done. So I think early in my career, it was the challenge was about being as knowledgeable as I could about the niche market that I've chosen to be in and to know that better than anybody else. And then as I grew in my career and realized that I took on more responsibility and larger and larger scope and management of more and more people. I think as women, we're incredibly judgmental of ourselves, more so than anybody else, you know, who judges us. And I would sit at a conference table and I would worry that I didn't know the answer to every single system question on every single system within a giant ego structure that we were talking about. And thought, Oh, my God, I'm actually, maybe I, maybe I'm not as good as I think because I don't know the answer to this very, very detailed technical question about one particular system within another system within something else that, you know, look, you can't be an electrical engineer and a mechanical engineer and a telecom engineer, you can't be all those things and be a CEO at the same time. And so I realized, I have to let go of some of that judgment and surround myself with people that I empower to know every single one of those answers. And that actually makes me good at what I do, not necessarily that I know every single one of those answers. And I think this, you know, the industry put so much pressure on us. I used to call it dumps the girl game, you know, I'd be at the table, and like I inevitably get some person, at least a man, that would try to ask me every hard question known to man about every single thing that we were talking about, even if it didn't even apply to the conversation. And at some point I had to say, look, you know, that's not my area of expertise. The person sitting next to me, that's their area of expertise. And let me pass that question along to them. And still feel good about myself.   And so we've got to kind of learn to let go a little bit and know that we're really good at what we do to get here. You know, that's enough. I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more. Sarah, anything to round this conversation out? Yeah, I would say so. Everything that these ladies have spoken on, absolutely I've experienced as well.  So over the years, I have been repeatedly told to not be so sensitive. Confidence came across in ways seen as convention or that any hint of passion was I need to calm down. So it was all reactions and all emotions that I saw out of my male counterparts, if they received no reprimands. So I've had to then shift the way that I approach things and spend a lot of time carefully choosing how am I going to approach this, what words am I going to use, how is this going to be presented. I think and I've had to do that above and beyond ways that my male counterparts have asked me to be not happy with. Be softer, be softer, right? They say be softer. And we're always coming from this emotional base that these decisions aren't being made with the mind. That's so many examples. I'm keeping it in on the moderate here. So ladies, where do you see new opportunities? You know, we talk about challenges. Now let's talk about turning those challenges into opportunities. So on the horizon for women in tech and telecom, Sandra, why don't you go first? What do you see as new opportunities? Sure. You know, it's interesting when I first got into the industry over 20 plus years ago, you know, one of the things that I loved about technology and telecom is that it's always changing, right? So you have to have the ability to move, to be nimble, to be open-minded. In terms of where the industry is moving, I think it's clear that cloud is certainly a great place to be. IOT, telehouse, certainly the division I'm working in, the data center division is experiencing explosive growth, although the industry is shifting. And edge computing, IOT is definitely creating disruption in the data center industry. You know, for young women starting out, I think that there's opportunity in a way that there hasn't been in engineering, in product development. I think there's more and more hybrid roles presenting themselves like overlay type roles where if you have a new business development background combined with a marketing background, there's a number of new roles and opportunities. You know, it's interesting now that we're living in the world of social media and there's this talk about, okay, you know, are you still communicating face-to-face in a way that we did 10, 20 years ago? And I think the answer is yes. And that is never going to go away. I think more and more the need to collaborate, the need to have those strong people skills will continue to be so incredibly valuable. And I think that as women is really what we do well, right? So that's really good news, I think for all women who like to communicate, who like to reach out, who like to nurture and mentor others. So that's in a nutshell, I think, where I see some opportunities. So I agree. I absolutely agree. And I am really optimistic about the future for women in technology and telecom. How can I not be? Look at the people that I'm on the panel with. I think to forecast those opportunities in an environment where technology has grown so fast is kind of impossible. It is impacting our lives, impacting how we relate to each other and how to lead our lives. So I'm just hoping though that because of that, because of the way technology is moving, that younger women are inspired to pursue science and technology career because it's impacting their lives now, right? With the iPhone and everything else that they're holding. So I'm hoping that they'll see that it's not a boring profession that they can apply that engineering degree or science degree in the right way that is kind of unlimited. And Amy, you're surely an inspiration to those young women out there. So what is your take on new opportunities? So I'm, I'm actually lucky enough to lead up the working group on diversity and inclusion for suboptic. We were just actually having this conversation. And it's scary. I could count on almost, you know, one or two hands in that side of the business, how many women I know they're in operational roles. And in the United States, the people of color that I could mention that I knew in the industry actually went through it with a colleague. We were struggling to really think about who we knew on the operation side. So I look at that and I look at that like everything else in our business. There's a lane that is wide open there. You know, it's like I look around the room at some of these meetings. And listen, I'm 47 when I'm the youngest person in the room and one of like two females. Like that's a problem, right? And a problem can be an opportunity at that point because it needs energy. It needs people that do understand things like social media and the Internet of Things and what the edge is actually doing to change our business. And that's where a lot of the growth is coming on our side. We've actually, we doubled our revenue from last year in one year. I mean, think about the growth of the smaller companies that are out there capitalizing on some of these spaces. There's tons of opportunities, not that they think to step into some of these roles at the larger companies and be a part of what's going on. But to really be entrepreneurial about it and start your own business and think about how you can impact that with the people around you because it is wide open right now. And by the way, I mean construction alone as an example, we are the second lightest vendor on digitization and technology in all industries, second only to agriculture and hunting. Right. So when we talk about digitization and construction, I look at that and I say, okay, well, if I become the most, if I put all of my eggs in that basket, I've got to rise to the top because no one else is going down that blue ocean, right? No one else is going in that place that I can be at and make an impact. So I think I would say the opportunities are in some of the most unlikely places. And I personally love when I'm in that room and I'm the youngest and the only woman in the room because first everybody knows my name, and I'm not shy. So that's good. You know, and secondly, I know I'm going to be there for the long term, and I can take what I've learned from other industries and other places I've been around this globe recently and apply it to this industry that in some ways has not exactly, you know, even though we're in telecom hasn't always been the earliest adapters of new things that are out there. And I don't mean technology, but I actually think more in process and methodology and the way that we look at the business world. So I think, you know, everybody came out of that same genesis of where they came from, like we always say, like everyone came out of bell and so they all grew up in the same place and we all do the same thing. You know, that's the case. What a fantastic opportunity to bring some new thinking and some new innovations to the industry. Excellent. Well said. And Sarah? Honestly, I see the opportunities are endless. I cannot think of a single part of the industry that would not benefit for having more women in it. I can say from my perspective, so running a global network acquisition team and managing a team in Asia arguably one of the more still very traditional, very male dominated just across the industry there. I run a team that is 80% women. It wasn't designed. It just happened. But I have 80% of my team is women and they are dominating in that today. And it just goes to show that it's not necessarily about what appendage somebody has their ability to do a job. And I think that it's important to recognize that the approach that individuals take regardless of their gender and that they bring to the table can be diverse. And that diversity is important and provides additional opportunity just because it's not your way doesn't mean it's the wrong way. So really the opportunities are completely endless. I love that. It's such a great lead in actually to my next question. Ladies, I'm going to ask you to come up with three words that come to mind to describe your ability to climb that executive ladder. So we'll just quickly go around the horn and just hear three words from each of you. And, you know, sort of what it takes that moxie if you will to climb that ladder. Sarah will start with you. Mine are expected bumpy and proud. I love it. Oh boy, data driven, vocal and ambitious. Love it. Sandra. Drive, resilience and enthusiasm. That's so important. Soraya. Ambition, desire, confidence. I was confident working with the sea level and strategy. Amy. Definitely tenacity, passion and humor has been coming to play for me. I love it. I love it. All right, now let's get to the real the real McCoy here the big question. Finally, what would you love to see happen and maybe improve for women in our industry in the next 10 years? Getting at the ball, looking 10 years down the pike. What do you see happening or hopefully improving for women in the tech and telecom space? And Bryn, we're going to start with you. Well, I can speak on this for a long time. I think the biggest thing and I've actually witnessed more and more of this over the last year and I credit a lot of this to the fact that I've become more vocal about women's issues in the industry. But I would love to see more men asking women what their opinions are and what some of their challenges are. And I encourage women at their own companies to speak out to their leadership and to ask for support and ask for help. But I think, you know, it change starts individually. It doesn't necessarily start systemic and change is also not something that you should just sit back and expect your companies just to wake up one day and change. Just like you can't expect to get ahead in your career if you just wait for something to happen. You have to speak up and you have to take and take ownership of your destiny and your success. And I would say the same thing about the industry. I think the very speaking to the change question that came up earlier. We are at an inflection point as an industry and you see articles written in data center knowledge about the gender gap and you see people at industry conferences talking about the problem and wanting to solve a problem. But sometimes solving the problem and changing the perception is simply a matter of asking people individually what they can do. If you have a problem with your talent pipeline, then don't just ask your friends who they know. Go ask a woman that works in the industry if they know someone. Go ask how you can be more creative. How can you pull women in the channel, for example, over into a cloud organization or into a different role within telecommunications organization. Be creative. Ask for help. Ask for support. And I can guarantee you if you ask for the support to build programs and to change and to inspire leadership and to encourage better, better attrition rates than there are right now. People will run hand over fist to try and help solve the problem. And I guarantee you that support will be there. At least that's from my experience. Love it. Sandra. So well said, Bryn. Yeah, I mean, as a whole in general, I'd like to see the percentages of women in upper management increase. Obviously more women coming into the industry and to, to one of the points that was making earlier, I think sort of demystify this illusion or this perception that technology is technical. Technology at the end of the day is a people business like any business. So, so that's one thing. I think also being a woman, a wife, a mother of two of two kids. I don't know how many other moms are on the panel here, but you know, certainly I'd like to see corporations instituting more programs regarding reentry. So, if women have been out of the workforce because they've been taking care of children or even just taking care of an aging parent that they're these enterprise organizations do something regarding reentry and supporting that process of women who have been out of the workforce for a while. So, you know, I think at the end of the day, we also have to own our own destiny and in terms of navigating our mobility and our future. So, to Bryn's point, I think it's clear that we have to try to create our own communities of support within the organization too. So, reaching out to men, I think, you know, we haven't brought up the Me Too movement, but certainly that has created a lot of awareness across the board. And I'm hearing so many more men talk about how the Me Too movement has impacted their mentality or that these men have daughters. There's a heightened sensitivity, I think, to the challenges that we face. So, yeah, that's what I would like to see. So many critical points, absolutely. I wish we had more time. I want to take each point and flush it out further. Saree, anything to add there? Well, what I would like to do is kind of to open the lens and just have a more strategic view as to why do we want women in higher positions in technology and telecom? It's because the technology and telecom in its quantum leap is impacting our lives and we need to have representation at the board level, at the senior management level in order to be heard. So that's one reason we want to beat it. And despite the fact that research shows presence of women in 4,500 boards and senior management has resulted in increased, I mean, real increase in return on investment, we still don't have enough women at the top positions, especially in technology and telecom. And I'm sorry to say that even our colleagues on the West Coast, in those large companies relative to their size, don't have enough women in the board and executive level. And that needs to be improved. So I think what it's going to take, it's really, again, a concerted effort, a structured talent management, especially as you move up. And really the commitment of the CEOs inside and outside the company, they have to be the voice that promotes this. And basically, I think it's a numbers game, right? The more women you have in the telecom technology that come into the industry, you'll have more women moving up, and therefore you'll have a bigger pool at the top. And those women at the top have an obligation to really help the ones who are coming in to move up. So it is an honor and an obligation. Amy? I love how you ended that, actually, Soraya, because I was going to say one of my words is controversies, that seems to follow me wherever I go. And so maybe my answer will be a little bit different. But I do love what everyone has said. I think, yes, we definitely need more women in tech, CEOs need to look at the programs and need to bring more people in. And that also happened. We all know that groups think happens if we don't have people of diversity and women on these boards and things like that. But I'm going to put some responsibility back on us for a minute, which I think Soraya touched on. I believe in 10 years, what I'd like to see is women actually helping other women get business, get those positions, know about opportunities, learn about how to infiltrate companies that they want to gain access. I don't think we actually help each other the way that men help each other. We don't.  Let's go drink coffee at 6.30 in the morning now that we've all been out till 2 o'clock in the morning doing our real jobs. And now we have to wake up and go be nice to other women and try to meet some other women. Yeah, at the end of the day, that's great. But what really is going to help us is when you have such relationships in this industry with other women that they pick up the phone and call you when an opportunity is going to come out. That they call you when a position is going to be open, that they call you when they hear there's a change that's going to happen that would impact you and your business that would help you get ahead. And we don't do that. That's a problem. You are literally describing why we founded WTF. I'll be joining after this. I feel like, listen, at the end of the day, no one, we said earlier, no one's ever even asked me for my certification for being a woman owned business and we deal with fortune 10 companies, not one person in our industry has ever asked me about that. And in reality, some women somewhere if those companies should be pushing me as a supplier knowing that I am a certified woman owned business, but that doesn't exist. And so unfortunately, this is going to sound again like a little bit controversial. We need to form those relationships that men form when they help each other and get each other ahead so that they build a network of relationships that actually take action. And we have to do that. We have a responsibility and obligation to do that. So true. Like, boom, my drop. Final words, final words. Honestly, for me, my goal is to stop having panels like this, to stop meeting separate organizations. This is something that is going to take all of the stuff that all of these women have spoken about. And it's going to take, I wish it could happen in 10 years. It's probably going to take a lot longer. But honestly, my goal is to have it not be about being a woman. I don't want to get a job because I'm a woman. I don't want to be, I don't want that to be a deciding factor. I want it to be because I am the best person for the job. So it shouldn't be about our gender. It shouldn't be about our race. And it's going to take a really long time. And we have to make a lot of steps to do that first, where we have to make it about being a woman first, before we can make it about not being a woman. Well said. Amen. So much more can be said about this. And we certainly will have it. Stay tuned. We'll do this roundtable again in a couple of months from now. Thank you, ladies, for your amazing insights. Again, our all-star panelists, Sarah McComb from Microsoft, Bryn Fowler, Oracle, Sandra DeNovellis, Telehouse International Corporation of America, KDDIA, Soraya Tarant, Telecom Italia Sparkle, and Amy Marks, Excite Modular. This wraps up our latest virtual CEO roundtable. Come meet us in person June 19th of the 20th, telecom exchange in Hoboken, New Jersey, where many companies like NIACS and Extreme Networks and Microsoft and more will be there for one-on-one networking and live CEO roundtables. Also, join us November 6th to the 7th at Telecom Exchange in LA, where we will have our own Bryn Fowler speaking live on IoT smart cities and infrastructure predictions. To feature your thought leader here next time, email us at PR at jsa.net. Thanks for tuning in to JSA TV, the newsroom for tech and telecom professionals, and JSA Radio, your voice for tech and telecom on iHeartRadio. Until next time, happy networking.


The borderline transforms all her partners, even mentally healthy partners, into narcissists. When I say her, it's just for convenience sake. About 50% of people with borderline personality disorder are men. Although I'm suggesting lately that men should be diagnosed with a variant of borderline personality disorder, which I call covert borderline. So I'm going to use her and she throughout the text. It doesn't mean that I'm a misogynist. It doesn't mean that I'm a sexist. It doesn't mean that I don't know English, although all three are pretty much correct. It's simply for convenience sake. And because of the fact that until very recently, about 75% of people diagnosed with BPD were women. Anyhow, coming back to the topic. The borderline, as I said, transforms her intimate partners into narcissists. This is known as late onset narcissism or acquired situational narcissism, a term that was coined in the 80s by Milman. Why? How does she do this? Why does she do this? What happens to her partners that they suddenly evolve, transmogrify and transform into narcissists, at least behaviorally, emotionally? What alchemical process takes place between the borderline and her partner? This is the topic of today's video. My name is Sam Baknin, and I'm the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited, and I'm also a professor of psychology. Before I go there, however, before I start with the topic of the video, I would like to respond to a series of emails and messages and carrier pigeons and what have you that I've received from various psychoanalysts around the world. And when I say around the world, I mean around the world. They're everywhere. They're in France. They are in India. They are even in South Africa. They're in Chile. They're in the United States. They're in Germany, et cetera, et cetera. I received the river of complaints from psychoanalysts claiming that the dual mothership concept was developed by Sigmund Freud. Apparently, he also invented sliced bread according to psychoanalysts. Wrong. It's very wrong, actually, and it's a show of ignorance. Let me help you a bit, my dear psychoanalysts. Freud distinguished anaclyptic from narcissistic objects. He was wrong because he assumed the existence of a self and that the narcissist possesses a perfected self. In other words, the narcissist invests emotionally in his own self, but both assumptions are probably wrong. Definitely the second one. The narcissist doesn't have a self. That's precisely the problem. That's the core of narcissism. So there is nothing to protect, nothing to invest emotional energy in, or as Freud called it, besetsung. There's no besetsung process possible with a self that doesn't exist. So the distinction between anaclytic objects and narcissistic objects was wrong from the very beginning. Freud also equated the roles and importance of the mother and the father in the formation of anaclytic objects in later life. Wrong again. Only the mother counts. Only the mother is involved in the formation of anaclytic objects and processes later on in life. As Melanie Klein, Mahler and numerous other Piaget and Winnicott, numerous others have proved much later. And even Freud's own daughter, Anna Freud. So to sum up this part, and maybe I will dedicate a special video to this, Freud's view of the mother and the mother's role in adult bonding and attachment later on in life. But to summarize this part and go to the topic of the video, I would like to read to you from this. It's the Freud encyclopedia. It's gigantic and extremely heavy as befits its topic. And I don't know if it can be captured in the camera. It's the Freud encyclopedia, and it's published by Rutledge, a masterpiece, an absolute masterpiece composed by dozens, if not hundreds of scholars or Freud psychoanalysis, the antecedents of Freud, the schools after Freud and so on. That's a must. It must be in every every psychologist library, even if you don't adhere to psychoanalysis and I don't, for example. So let me read to you from the encyclopedia. Freud thus felt that children learn to feel for other people who help them in their helplessness and satisfy their needs. Love, which is of the model of and a continuation of their relationships as sucklings to their nursing mother. That is Freud, and this is the article about anaclytic objects. Hence, according to the theory of anaclytic object choice, a man will love a woman who feeds him and a woman will love a man who protects her. The implication is that the man rediscovers a mother and the woman rediscovers a father wrong, as I've just said. That's absolutely wrong. Hence, according to Freud's formulation, heterosexuality is anaclytic, whereas homosexuality is narcissistic.  The anaclytic object provides psychic nourishment, and its loss can precipitate a depression, and Freud describes this depression. Anaclytic depression, I'm reading from the Freud encyclopedia. Anaclytic depression has been further distinguished from introjective depression. Anaclytic depression causes one to feel helpless, weak, depleted, to wish to be cared for, loved, fed, protected, and is accompanied by intense fears of abandonment, oral cravings, and an urgency to feel an inner emptiness. Introjective depression derives from a harsh, punitive conscience resulting in feelings of inferiority, worthlessness, guilt, and a wish for atonement. These two syndromes can coexist in an individual. So this is as far as the commentary by my would-be colleagues, perhaps, psychoanalysts all around the world. It's wrong. Freud did not suggest a dual mothership concept. He suggested a mother-father collusion in the formative years, which preconditioned the child when he becomes an adult, to seek for substitutes, mother-substitute and father-substitute in the form of anaclytic objects. Additionally, Freud was wrong, and that is wrong. That is simply wrong. It's been utterly disproven over the decades. Second wrong assumption is that the narcissist has a self which he affects, which he invests emotional energy in. The narcissist has only internal objects. Some of these objects are self-states, but they are not integrated. They are not coalesced. There's no unitary self. By the way, not only in narcissists, there's no unitary self-period. The narcissist has self-states which are internal objects, and he affects, he invests emotional energy in all of them. In all his internal objects, whether they are self-states or whether they are not, some of the internal objects are anaclytic. They are maternal objects. For example, when he comes across a potential intimate partner, he takes a snapshot of her, so to speak. He internalizes an introject here. He creates an internal object which represents the intimate partner, and this object becomes an anaclytic object, of course. The self-states are introjects. In personality disorders, there are two types of constancy that is building on Jean Piaget's object permanence work. So there are two types in personality disorder. There is introject constancy, and there is object constancy. Object constancy is an attachment to an external object. Even if the attachment is pathological, it's there, and there is a perception, a clear perception of boundaries and separation from an external object. That is object constancy. In people with personality disorders, for example, borderline personality disorder, there is object inconstancy. There is the inability to maintain an internal representation of an external object on a permanent basis. Narcissists and others have introject inconstancy. They try desperately to maintain introject constancy, whereas object constancy is an attachment to a discernibly separated external object. Introject constancy is an attachment to an internal object, to an introject. Now, of course, when you're attached to your own internal space, when you are one with your internal objects, this creates rigidity. This explains why personality disorders are rigid patterns in the language of the diagnostic and statistical manual, because of introject constancy or because of introject disturbance, as in borderline personality disorder, which in this course is panic and behavioral rigidity. So we have two types of rigidity. One type of rigidity is an attempt to freeze the internal mental space because of abandonment, anxiety, separation, insecurity. There's a need to freeze the introjects, to freeze the internal objects, to fossilize them, to ossify them, ossify them, to fixate them. It's like, you know, fixating butterflies. And so there's a need to kind of freeze the tableau, to create a tableau of internal objects, which will be there forever, hanging on the wall of the Narcissists internal museum. And this creates rigidity, of course. On the flip side of this coin, the borderline cannot maintain object constancy. She fails to create introjects that correspond to external objects and are stable. So her behaviors are essentially rigid, in the sense that she is expected to act out, to aggress, to decompensate and so on and so forth. So there are two types of rigidity. The borderline's object constancy is the reason that her partners, even healthy partners, become narcissists, at least narcissists for a while. I'll try to explain. The borderline has an overwhelming need for object constancy, because she has abandonment, anxiety, separation, insecurity, because she has dysregulation, because her personality has very low level of organization, dysorganized, et cetera, et cetera. For multiple reasons, she needs to have constant objects in her life. I call these objects the rocks. She needs a rock around which she can construct her life in a manner which will allow her somehow to regulate her overwhelming emotions. She's terrified of her own internal processes and dynamics. She needs help, but she needs help from someone who is always there, always accepting, always forgiving, always overlooking things, turning a blind eye, always supportive, provides succor and helping hand. She needs a savior. In other words, she needs a fixer. That's her constant object. Regrettably for her, she can't create the equivalent. She can't create an internal object which is as stable, as solid, as always present as the external object. So this creates in her something we call object in constancy. Even if the external object, her intimate partner, is always there for her, her inability to maintain introject constancy renders the external object in constant. You see, constancy requires an external object who is reliable, predictable, not capricious, not arbitrary, loving, caring, empathic and supportive. That's the external object. But it also requires the ability to create a representation of this person in your mind that is stable and solid and consistent and always there. When you have these two, external object and internal object, which correspond and which are always there and which are solid and which are stable and which are predictable and reliable and helpful, then you have object constancy. The narcissist fails in his attempts to interact with external objects. The narcissist has introject constancy and object in constancy, external in constancy and internal constancy. The borderline is the opposite. She has introject in constancy, which creates essentially a feeling of object in constancy. Both of them have object in constancy, both of them, because even the narcissist's introject constancy is not enough. He doesn't have the object. The narcissist lacks the external object. The borderline lacks the internal object. So when a healthy person, let alone a narcissist, teams up with the borderline, they become a romantic diet, a couple, a partnership of some kind. The borderline has a problem with object constancy because she cannot generate internal objects, introjects, which are stable. So her behavior pushes her partners to avoid her. The borderline is too painful as an external object. It hurts to be with a borderline. It's excruciating. It's a torture. So even healthy people, they begin to avoid the borderline as an external object, as a real entity, as a person, as someone out there. They begin to avoid her. But they love her. They want to be with her. They don't want to lose her. So what they do instead, they develop an internal object in their mind and they begin to interact with this internal object. The internal object is not hurtful, is reliable, is caring and loving, is empathic, doesn't act out, doesn't decompensate, is not dangerous, etc. Let me try to recap what I said until now. Again, this is very complex material. My heart goes out to you. Let me recap what I've said until now. Everyone needs object constancy. You need to feel safe in people around you. But to do this, you need to have a stable object out there, someone you can trust, someone you can rely on, out there, someone who is predictable. But you need also to have an internal representation of this person in your mind and interject that you is also stable, is also reliable, is also loving and caring and empathic and helpful and supportive and predictable. So you need both. You need the outside external object and you need the internal object. The narcissist fails with the external object and succeeds with the internal. The borderline fails with the internal and succeeds with the external. Both of them cannot get it right, so they don't have object constancy. Consequently, the borderline misbehaves. She disintegrates. She decompensates. She approaches and she avoids. She does crazy things, acting out. She is a tumult. She is a perfect storm. Even when the borderline's partner is perfectly healthy, is not a narcissist, is going to begin to gradually shun her and avoid her because she's too much. Because she's too painful. Because she's destroying him mentally. So he's beginning to avoid her as a prophylactic measure, as a precaution preemptively. He's withdrawing. Even healthy partners of borderlines go through a process of avoidance and withdrawal when the full, rather an energy, negative energy of the borderline is unleashed upon them. They just want to get away. They just want to not be there. They want to disappear somehow. But they don't want to abandon the borderline for a variety of reasons. The borderline pushes specific buttons in people, even when they're healthy. So they don't want to abandon the borderline. So what they do instead, even healthy people, what they do instead, they develop an internal object, which represents the borderline. And they continue to interact with this internal object. Does it remind you of anything? Yes. The narcissist snapshots. Exactly. It's a narcissistic dynamic. It's exactly what happens to healthy partners of a borderline, let alone two narcissists. They develop a snapshot of the borderline and they continue to interact with this snapshot, because interacting with the external object, interacting with the real-life intimate partner who has borderline, personality disorder, interacting with the borderline, requires what we call in psychology, high effort coping, high effort coping, which is health threatens your health and your mental health. So just as an attempt at self-preservation, the partners of borderlines become temporarily, transiently, situationally narcissists. In the sense that they start to interact with an internal object, which represents the borderline partner, rather than with the partner herself, which is what narcissists do. The borderline, of course, perceives because she is like a seismograph. The borderline is hyper-vigilant. She constantly monitors for possible abandonment or rejection. She catastrophizes. She over-interprets. She mislabels behaviors which are perfectly normal as abandonment and rejection.  So she senses the withdrawal. She grasps the silent, creeping avoidance. She realizes that her partner is beginning to shun her. She knows that what she is doing is wrong. She knows she is misbehaving. She knows she is hurting him. She knows she is introducing unmanageable chaos into their lives.  She is sick. Borderline personality disorder is an illness. She can't help it, but she knows it is having deleterious effects on the relationship. She knows she is driving her partner away into his mind, away from her and into his mind. She realizes that he is interacting with some image of her, with some avatar of her, with some icon of her, with some representation of her, which is not her. So she feels abandoned. She feels rejected. And when borderlines feel abandoned and rejected, they decompensate, their defenses crumble. They become secondary psychopaths and they act out viciously, aggressively, or they do immoral things or they act recklessly. This is the dynamic, the unhealthy dynamic between the borderline and each and every one of her partners. She is aware of this inevitable dynamic and craving to keep her partner in her life. In other words, in a desperate attempt for Lauren and doomed attempt to ensure object consistency, the borderline needs to freeze the partner, to avoid any change and any dynamic in the partner. She needs a partner to become an ancient Egyptian mummy, exactly like the narcissist, but for different reasons. The narcissist freezes his partner because he is emotionally invested in the introject and he doesn't want the partner to diverge from the introject, because it challenges the introject. The borderline wants to freeze her partner, wants him to not evolve, not grow up, not travel, not talk to other people, not have friends, never ever to pay attention to anyone but her and to pay attention to her 60 minutes a day, 24, 7, 366 or 380 if possible. She is all over him, she suffocates him, she smothers him because she doesn't want him to go away even to the next room. It's exactly like a baby with mother, when mother leaves the room, baby starts to cry, that's the borderline. She tries to freeze the partner, but this desperate attempt to deny the partner agency, to reduce the partner to an inert object, to objectify the partner. This strategy of rendering the partner some kind of toy or plaything in a way, or at best a source of permanent presence and the core attention that she needs, this provokes the partner.  As you see, being in a couple with a borderline, even if you're perfectly healthy, generates in you as the partner of the borderline, generates in you a narcissistic dynamic, you start to interact with internal objects rather than external objects, and generates in you a borderline dynamic, because you develop exactly like the borderline, you develop an engulfment anxiety, and you start to avoid the borderline. You avoid her because she's painful and unpredictable and dangerous, so you avoid her by developing an internal object which represents her in your mind and interacting with this object, but then you begin to avoid her altogether, even sometimes internally, because she demands of you to cease living, to not live anymore, she demands of you to become inanimate, she wants you to become a fixture in her mind and in her life, so borderlines react very badly if you spend too much time with someone else or if you cater to some business needs or if you don't pay them attention for too long, or if you don't respond instantly to any communication that they initiate, never mind when and where, because you don't have agency, you are not your own person, you are an external object, but she owns you, the borderline owns you, you are her property in many ways, you are an external regulator, it's like a transformer in electricity, you are an external regulator, your job is to regulate her moods and her emotions and make her feel good, that's your job, that's your raison d'etre, that's your reason to exist, this is what you need to do in order to justify your being, and so partners gradually draw away, they are pushed away, and they react with narcissistic defences, like for example, in projection and in traject constancy, and they react with borderline defences, like for example, the compensation avoidant behaviors, approach avoidance, and they develop gradually anxiety both about the external object and about the internal object, introject anxiety, so they don't know what to do, the partners of borderlines, they absolutely don't know what to do, they also have their own needs for object constancy, in other words they also need to maintain a constant object out there and a constant introject corresponding to this object in here, by avoiding the external object, even healthy partners of borderlines are undermining their own object constancy, they are driven clinically to become personality disordered, and this whole dynamic, which is pretty inexorable, provokes the borderline's abandonment anxiety, and so the whole approach avoidance cycle where the borderline approaches you, you respond favorably, intimacy is created, the borderline is terrified of abandonment and rejection by you, but at the same time she feels that she is taken over by you, that she is subsumed and consumed by you, she has engulfment anxiety, so she withdraws and then she feels abandoned and anxious about it and she approaches, all this is reciprocated and mirrored in the dynamics of the partner, as the borderline goes through her own vicissitudes and tribulations, first experiencing intimacy, then terrified of losing this intimacy and external regulation, and so she approaches, then terrified of the approach and of being engulfed and enmeshed and consumed by the partner, so she avoids, then she is terrified of abandonment having avoided the partner, then she approaches, this is her own internal dynamic, she can't help it, approach avoidance repetition compulsion is an integral part of borderline, I hate you, don't leave me, but this provokes a mirror image in dynamical, psycho dynamical terms, a mirror image in the partner, the partner at first is hurt, perplexed, befuddled, totally disoriented in enormous pain and agony because of the borderline's approach avoidance, he can't understand, can make sense of it and he can't tolerate it, so he starts to avoid the borderline as an external object, avoidance behaviours, which are typical to the borderline become his, sort of he caught it by way of contagion, he was infected somehow, so he becomes avoidant as well, she is avoidant when she feels engulfed, he becomes avoidant because he feels rejected or humiliated or abandoned, so he becomes avoidant with the external object, but he is still very much attached to the internal object representing his borderline partner, but then the borderline partner's behaviours, especially her insistence to freeze the intimate partner, to prevent any change of dynamic, any growth, any development and any happiness basically, this challenges even the internal object, even the introject, so this creates introject inconstancy, this is totally narcissistic dynamic, the partner becomes clinically a narcissistic while he is with the borderline, he doesn't recognize himself anymore, he is in a state of shock at the things he does and says, he regrets he feels shame and guilt, which is also essentially a borderline dynamic, and this drives him further away because who wants to experience shame and guilt all the time, he feels blackmailed on the one hand and he feels inadequate on the other, a classic compensatory narcissistic dynamic, so this, the borderline induces in the partner major elements of narcissistic disturbance and major behaviours of borderline, including avoidance, and the partner responds, the partners who are more aware, more sophisticated, more intelligent, they are trying their best, they try to secure the borderline's object constancy, so at first they avoid, because the borderline is painful and hurtful and aggressive and unpleasant and demanding and challenging, so they avoid, but then the internal object is still there, they miss the borderline, they love the borderline, they want a helper, they want to restore object constancy, so they approach, what is this, avoidance approach, avoidance approach, Freud was the first to describe this by the way, actually he wasn't the first, Adler was the first, but he enlarged upon it considerably, so the partner avoids and approaches, the borderline approaches and avoids, again a mirror image, a total borderline dynamic, when you are with the borderline, her dynamics will prevail, her behaviours will take over, her internal world will infect your internal world, you will have become a narcissist and a borderline simultaneously, for a while, for a while, walking away from the borderline usually restores health, mental health, but this approach, avoidance, repetition, compulsion, rules both parties in the borderline's romantic relationships, even when the borderline's partner came into the diet, came into the couple, totally grounded, totally centered, totally healthy, no personality disorder, no mental health problems, when he exits the relationships, he has strong narcissistic defences, he has a narcissist's way of relating to reality via introjects, via internal objects, and he has marked approach, avoidance, behaviours, borderline is as contagious as narcissism.


Okay boys, so this is gonna be my benediction guide I'm just gonna run through what you need to do if you want to get the stuff Essentially first you want to pick up your eye of divinity, which drops from the chest from major domo With a 50% drop chance So it's pretty common, but obviously you're gonna have to be rolling against you know Five six other priests and you're ready to go for it if they haven't got it already Unless you're getting it most of it to you, so It's it's it'll take you a couple of weeks to get on average But it's not you know, one of the rarest times in the game Considering how strong it is and then the second thing you need to do once you've got your eye of divinity is You want to go and farm your eye of shadow which drops from the elites in winter spring and blasted lands And I believe it doesn't drop from the fell hunters in winter spring, but not hundred percent confirmed on that We fucking did it.  I think there's 10 or so 10 or 12 or so in each wave So I think it's about 10 in each wave and you've got to say 50 peasants before 15 die 15 die you fail the quest So the first waves Kind of chill though this the Skelly archers go a bit ham so they get a bit low But there's no enemy mobs And then I'm using holy nova rank 4 To to one-shot the mobs.  I think I let one die here. This is the first one to go I think I lose one to batching at some point as well. That was heartbreaking But yeah, the foot soldiers are coming a little bit quicker now and it's like this they come stacked up Which is kind of annoying because my again, you need to set your name plates to be like Not stacked so that you can see everything a bit better because here I just really had trouble seeing a lot of stuff. I lost a fair few mobs to that and Then some sort of add-on to see the debuffs. I don't know if that's doable with the regular UI But they all get hella low here and I'm like, oh, honestly, I'm started panicking a bit at this point We managed to save most of them on that wave the mob gives me some mana back as well with that buff Oh, yeah, I'm popping oil of emulation here as well.  They're untargetable. Well, they're targetable, but they're not attackable I think that's the first one we lost potentially. I'm not sure. I got a bit lower my desperate prayers not up, so Yikes, you can't you you you have to solo this quest.  It's like it's a problem It goes a mana pot. I think we saved one because of that mana pot though, so it's not bad we'll say a low rank of flash heal and Heal rank two was just generally Pretty invaluable because like you don't need to top them off You just need them to survive if you try and top them all off.  It's annoying because it doesn't completely one-shot them So you have to tank a few hits. I think I'd pop another demonic rune here We're in a sec Yeah, I mean if you could kill the archers it would be pretty trivial, right? That's the whole point of it I think this is the last wave actually Not 100% sure though, but yeah, I'd say I'd say the main things I lacked was the was the sorting out the name plate so that they weren't stacking and Having some sort of add-on to see the debuffs above the name plates head So my gear Use I just put all my damage gear on for this just to make the Holy Nova's do a bit more And then Holy Nova rank for Flash rank seven and four. I didn't use seven much at all great. He'll one didn't use that all and great He'll and he'll rank two and then obviously all of emulation Then you get this item Splint of Nordrassil and there you go for an addiction boys


Hello everybody and welcome to another hobby cheating video today. We're gonna talk about a little paint jam slash paint challenge Let's get into it. The strict techno man sir. That is Vincy V. Let us get to the technique and learn it Vincy V style So recently I had the boys up for our annual Vincy con now Vincy con is when Sam Lenz John Nina's also known as Ninjohn Uncle Adam and and usually Minniac come hang out here and we just paint and jam and talk and do a bunch of fun stuff over a weekend Sadly this year Scott was not able to attend although. You'll still see how he was here in spirit in the video But we all got a different idea this year This year we were all going to paint the same thing Specifically we were going to do Alana from big child creatives. Now. This is a really fun Bust and it gave us all a chance to work on the same project Simultaneously the idea being then as we worked on it if we ran into challenges or had questions We could pass around the figures to each other and since we were all working on the same model Resolving the same challenges and trying to get to the same place a good-looking display quality paint job on this Bust we would have better information and feedback to give each other in real time This was an awesome experiment Let's see how it went. The first thing I did was honed in on the skin I knew I wanted to do something that was sort of zombie-like and so I focused in on both the color of the skin and on the sort of freehanding the wounds and open Torn skin for lack of a better term that took me most of the first day But all in all I do think it came out pretty awesome as a place to start Let's check in on the other boys see how they're doing as well John so we're like midway through really. What's the full day one? Yeah You've made a full zero progress on your bust from what you did yesterday, though It still looks more advanced than where mine is by far So well done Thank you. Yeah, absolutely, but you have been jamming your golden demon piece quite a bit Yeah, my plan was to get all of his under cloth and Then the leather is done today, which I'm pretty much done with that and then I'm gonna switch over to the bust They wanted to make headway every day on the Golden demon piece just so I my goal is that by the end of the weekend I have this this piece done or almost done and then this one will be a totally different approach and Have fun in a different way with the big brush and make a lot of impact and just kind of see I don't have a Expectation of what it's going to be like Sure at some point I will take it into your office Spray with fluorescent pink mm-hmm and everything will be nearly ruin it and then realize that it's all awesome. Yeah. Yeah, Sam Let's take a look. Let's see where you're at How's it going over here? Pretty well try to get the better lighting on that. Oh, yeah, you're good Yeah, I'm getting on the non-metallic metals established I had to spend a lot of time in the hair just getting in and out of all these details You have to glue the head on before you can connect the sword and stuff. So I had to Paint it in sub-assemblies basically. So I finally have it to the point where it's all together I'm really happy with the overly red scheme, but yeah, there's a balancing act going on in there and I'm realizing the metals are my Know as far as contrast goes there my light object among all the dark sure which originally was just going to be her skin That still has miles to go, but now I can push everything up to that kind of halfway point Yeah, I love the three approaches. I realize said this in the car I want to say it here. So when we got this when we all started doing this like John immediately goes in does all this complicated airbrush work to set light and hue and Value and sort of all this stuff, right? So he's got all these color interplay happening Sam Classic Sam goes for like a wide sweeping kind of wet blend with a big brush You know gets like the the basic tones and sort of in like Ideas of the values and where you want the light to be What where the colors are going to sit kind of bringing the whole thing into some kind of balance and then you spend the rest Your time adjusting right pretty much and refining block wet blend refined Yes, and then Vince over here who started from pure black just goes, you know, I've got a really good idea for the skin I'm just going to spend an entire day painting that and didn't do anything else So just really three different approaches to model painting here Very targeted approach in the case of Vince. I think I'm just kind of in the middle. Yeah, John went very broad He went wide. I went specific. You went kind of middle ground. Let's see how Scott's doing Scott. How are you feeling over here? He still wants us to paint more minis. Alright, good stuff Scott as always we'll check back in with him and see how he's doing My next thing to resolve was the other colors now. I'll be honest I didn't have a good plan going into this what I eventually came to as I sort of worked my way through it was this Very desaturated plum color and in fact that then set the tone for the rest of the piece Just as the skin was so highly desaturated so to with the rest of my elements or at least Mostly we'll talk about that in a second But as I started working out from there, I had the value set I knew where my light was going to be thanks to the skin and now I knew how I wanted to treat my colors Making them all very desaturated and weak from that It was just a question of composition, but of course we have to see how the other boys are doing as well Let's check in on their projects. All right. Let's uh, let's do a midday update on day two here of the jam John you actually painted your model beyond the airbrush. Yeah. I last night. I did a little work on her And get in there. Just trying to think about Give me give me a rotate there John. Oh, sorry Most of it's not painted so the rotation is pretty And then the back is Blue and purple So I'm just kind of building up like the the true color of each surface Just through highlights and trying to keep that amount of color minimal and impactful and I started with just her skin Because that's the most important part to set like my most vibrant and most bright points Yep.  Um, since you since you decided to up the difficulty by working two projects at once Yeah, it's really weird because last night when I was working on on the bus for a while I actually did not want to go back to the golden demon piece because it was like they're just a totally different Oh, sure variance fun Not fun. Yeah, this is this is like just fun and interesting Not fun and interesting Yes, very grindy meticulous detail oriented tiny man painting But that's I know I There's a level of it that is I really enjoy painting The golden demon stuff here at vincy con because I can kind of go through the motions of this while we're chatting and hanging out and laughing and listening to music Whatever whereas if I'm at home by myself it feels like it's even more tedious. Of course actually hours of work. All right, sam You've made some progress. What's going on man? Oh, hey there sam. Hi everybody. Um, yeah, I'm just It has a very strong light coming from Facing right towards here. Let's I'm gonna walk around to sam so we can actually see it edit No No editing no clips. No, we're not clipping. I'm not cutting anything takes either. So that's right We're just gonna come around here. This is all just we're just shooting this gorilla style. There we go So what I'm you can see these Specular highlights coming into play and I'm finally getting it to the point where I can really push those together You know the the banding around her kind of ribs abdomen area Um having a lot of fun playing with the reflections in the skin areas The hair is lacking But man, who knew painting a larger model is just plain easier like the size of these bottles Right so much room to work and then everything's the same size online Uh, but yeah, yeah, I'm managing a very, uh Reddish hue to everything and I'm really happy about that Finally kind of rounding the corner from base coats to the sharpening phase Nice very nice. Mine is over there. I took some pictures of it and it is it's way over there It looks dark, but trust me. I did stuff. I painted things. It's happening Uh, hold on. Let's take a look over at uncle adam's area here Now adam, you're not working on a on a bust with us because you know, that's not your thing How many things have you assembled? Uh, let's see here. I've built five Uh Neck runs For my combat patrol. I've built three bases of scarabs and I've built four Uh of these scavengers from north star and now I'm kit bashing This guy's just a collection of different parts from a lot of different things And I'm working on another one right now and I'm gonna try to build a group of uh Just complete randos and uh kind of have fun with that as well Very nice. You've got a friend here with you. I do Hello penny All right, let's check in with scott. Let's see how he's doing over there scott What's going on and today? Oh, it looks like he's hungry There you go, all right We'll check in with you later scott after you get some lunch and see how you're feeling. All right, very good My next step was the non-metallic metal There's quite a lot of it on this model and I knew copper made sense given my scheme I could beat it up vertigree it and I just thought it would better fit overall The problem is copper is both a very complicated non-metallic metal scheme But also because of the orange it tends to be highly saturated I knew I could rock this back some through the actual Vertigreing of it when I when I sort of added that The blues and greens of the vertigreed But I'm not sure if I did enough and in fact to this day right now as we see here I'm still working on this But as I was turning to the metals the boys were making some really really amazing progress in their own right All right, there's john stuff now john you've not made a lot of progress on your girl Zero to be exact. Yeah, okay, but that's okay because you made a lot of progress on this little boy Yeah, I've been doing a lot of work with the non-metallic metals on him which uh The shot could take a long freaking time. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm So I've gotten kind of wanted to get down the Technique and the look of metals for the whole figure on the most important thing which is this front left shoulder It's front facing. It's you get to see the whole surface. It's not covered up by other things So once I got that figured out in getting some feedback and some Advice and tweaks that I made and then copied that down to some smaller bits to get some small victories If you don't know small victories in your paint jobs are very important Especially when you're working on a piece like this where it's a tiny single guy and you have spent Many many hours on him so far three days one bite at a time I knocked out his little knee pads and now I'm I'm working on this other shoulder pad Um, and then once I get that done we'll go back and deal with his chest Which I just did a rough blend to understand the volumes in the light and then we'll Bring that up And then the hardest part of the model will be done. Nice Sam Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. You've been you've been hard at work Yeah, yeah, man. I've just been packing the paint onto this But it's I feel like it would have gone more quickly But I'm experimenting a bit trying to overemphasize the light sourcing on it So just a little bit of a back and forth Um, but yeah, I'm getting to those final kind of capstone moments. I'm throwing freckles on the face Screwing that up trying to do justice to all the freckled people out there in the world, but I haven't always had the opportunity to do to work on such a large face Or at least spent a while. So I'm having fun packing these extra details in Very nice. It's looking really good Adam how goes the assembly? Look at this. The the pile has grown. There's more people. Yeah, I uh, did four Kind of kit bashes at all kinds of different parts and pieces yesterday and now I am working on Some steel raft steel rift not steel raft, but steel rift max h e v's as they're called Uh for steel rift. I've already got one force built and painted at home. Uh, that is a Freelance industrial force. They're all bright orange and then these guys are the authority and I'm going to probably paint them Probably like an off-white with some blue accents and things like that if you've seen the Recent movie that was in theaters called the creator There were these giant tanks that were run by the u.s. Military and I want to mimic those Kind of paint schemes a little bit Um, but yeah, they're they're fun parts to put together. I'm enjoying them. So very nice And of course, we can't not check in with scott. Let's see how he's doing over here Uh scott. Okay. How we doing buddy? There you go, looks like scott. No, that's okay. It looks like he's really getting along Uh, here's his progress so far. So he's he's got a little ways to go, but it's okay. We're pulling for him All right, we'll talk about how my piece came out in just a second But first I want to throw it over to both of them for the end of this project and how they felt everything went Obviously john didn't get to work as much. He was more focused on his golden demon piece But it was still amazing how much he could do in such a short time And as I mentioned earlier, it was really fascinating to watch how each of us started from a different place Sam went in for fast minimal like some amount of value transition base coats on everything John worked this huge color and value spectrum Almost sort of a craft world style really of having yellows and magentas and oranges Peaches blues purples to set the tone and the feeling and the warmth and the environment for the whole figure And I went sort of full instagram Painter printer mode and just took one particular section at a time from zero to 95 99 percent And the fun part was neither of those were wrong Or none of those were they all got to the same place And I think that's an important lesson You can approach figures in lots of different ways. There's no one right road to walk And this was really instructive in that regard Okay, so john here's the result of your weekend. Yes. All right. What'd you think? um Working on two different models Was a challenge but also kind of fun because if I got overwhelmed with one I would just go to a different scale in a bigger model and kind of futz around a little bit But uh, I'm reminded how much time it takes to paint tiny little warhammer figures For golden demon and that is a ton of time. So getting together with people and you kind of Lose track of the time in a good way the hours go by while you get a lot done Um feels really good. It feels like leaving here. I have some momentum and I have the start of an exciting piece in the bust to Kind of ruminate on the direction.  Yeah, there you go reasonable. All right very good All right, sam so Uh, you're also done over the weekend. You were the first of us finished surprising absolutely no one Well, the first one to finish and the also Won not to play magic Adam did not play magic the gathering either, but by abstaining from the game of cards. I have succeeded in life This is this is true. So what did you learn with your piece? It was very bright. It was very different It wasn't a normal sam piece Yeah, I've been trying to really manage my values and make sure I have more Lighter tones were appropriate like not every surface area goes down to Absolute black even though I like a great depth of contrast Also trying to manage three different Red tones it it came out like way more pink than I had imagined but in a In appreciable way. I was happy about it, you know kind of have that uh vision, but it may change as you go on Yeah, it's it's very light, but I want to focus on the mids and saturation and Hope those subtleties. I think they show through in the photos. It was a delicate dance. Um Yeah, man as always it's a blast to get together and hand my model across for some feedback from To you know respected artists And yeah, that definitely well three don't forget about scott. Oh, yeah, thanks scott I love learning He says But yeah, man and and I took a lot of that into account and it made my model better And yeah, again, like like john was saying it's nice to just have this Separate time to roll into something undistracted and good company Yeah, I mean, I think this was interesting and you know john way in here. He's still in the room obviously Here he is John So, I mean look This was an experiment that we've wanted to do for a while you and I talked about this like a year ago Of everybody get the same model And we all paint it and then get feedback on it. I I think this was an amazing success I think it was an awesome experiment other people should try it. What do you think? I think so and I have to say thanks to big child for supplying the models so much appreciated for that and yeah, like Getting these different perspectives and we all went drastically different directions, which I really appreciate It wasn't just oh my parrot has the blue hat mine has the green one Completely different concepts. Like yeah, you kind of flipped the reality of yours john's is just so Light based like the figure just looks washed and like Dawn or evening sunset or something. It's it's very cool. So Yeah, just seeing all the all those different directions come together kind of forgot what I was saying at the beginning of this No, it was awesome. John any final thoughts? I thought that we were going to end up with a red a red bandana a blue bandana and a green bandana And it wasn't at all. I think You don't realize how Wide of a spectrum from a blank canvas of the miniature can be until you sit around and just Go through the same process with somebody else So I'd recommend it if you have friends or a group that you'd want to get together to paint the same thing And then finally of course We have to leave with I mean, let's be honest someone who's been Here for us the whole weekend, you know, when we were down when we were struggling They were there to pick us up with words of encouragement Uh, they were constantly just really an emotional rock. So scott. What's your final thoughts? Yes, exactly. You said he loves learning Well done scott. I see you need to fix your glasses there a little bit overall, buddy In all seriousness, we're making fun. But yes scott couldn't be here this year But we miss you scott. We love you and uh here in spirit. So at any rate, there we go. Yeah good I think it was overall a rousing success for my piece. I'm pretty happy with how it came out I'm going to show you some photos of everything here all three of ours together Again, john honestly only spent about three hours on his so that's pretty great But as you could see from the video his golden demon piece He made a ton of progress on or at least the beginnings of it He's going to have 300 400 hours into that by the time he's all done But the first steps on a very long road were walked successfully And I wish him nothing but the best. I really want to see him bring home the trophy this year But I found this incredibly instructive. I thought the pieces came out amazing It was obviously a great time hanging out with the guys And uh all in all I learned a lot in this process I felt like this was really instructive really helpful And it made me push myself in a way that when we're working on our own pieces We don't because I knew my piece was going to be directly up against theirs And somehow, you know that competition does sort of light a fire under you and make you work So thank you so much for watching this if you liked this give it a like Subscribe for additional hobby cheating in the future. We have new videos here every saturday If you want to support the channel, there's lots of ways you can do so You can share this video you can go down into the comments or sorry into the description Where you can find amazon links if you need to pick up some of your own hobby supplies You can click through there doesn't cost you anything extra if it gives the channel a nice kickback You can also support us by picking up a book that uncle adam and I actually published through snarling badger studios Uh all we were actually alpha testing our game coming out next year at this paint jam Can't tell you anything else except it was a really fun time and I am really excited about what's coming But you can also of course join our patreon That is focused on review and feedback and taking your next step on your hobby journey If you don't have anyone you can paint jam with hey, this could be a way to do so We'd love to have you as part of the community As always though, I thank you so much for watching this one. 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