DM me We got in the DM. I was a little scared to work with him. I had everybody saying man. Don't work with Fredo Why dangerous or it's very dangerous.   We got in the DM. I was a little scared to work with him I had everybody saying man don't work with Fredo. Why dangerous or it's very dangerous.   It's just the reputation that it holds and me being in another city It's like I got to know that it's you know everything I could have called in some things that made it happen But it's like I'm not gonna go through that tonight. Yeah, not for you You just got to be careful how you move.  That's why my life is different Like I'll be around niggas and be like y'all niggas got it easy. I'll work with who? Every nigga I'll work with then stood over a nigga been to jail. You know, I'm saying and I know it because when you around them It's a different it's a different energy. You feel me?  You gonna get it.   I ain't always been safe Let me ask you something because you you speak about the hits and the early hits and the the way that you've been able to really scale monetarily, you know How did you know how to conduct your business because I see so many young dudes come through here that really They got in deals bad situations to where they weren't able to capitalize on the assets, right? You know, I don't know how to Business money part correct. How did you know that? How did you how did you understand that so early on? um For me, I had a great lawyer name Leslie Cross gotta have a great. How did you find him man? Somebody turn me on to him.   He gave me the game. It ain't like I didn't need them. You feel me? We just we hit a point where we both I don't know what made us go left But it was like a disagreement, but other than that Man the nigga gave me the game. I stood on business. He stood on business We made a lot of money every one of my managers my ex manager my current manager the manager before that All of them got money all of them got nice houses subdivisions. You feel me? We broke bread, but When it comes to these young niggas, you got to find your old nigga that ain't They ain't scared to to understand that they meant to be in your life for five years It might not be a lifetime.  Yeah, I'm just a nigga who I thought hit a certain point. I realized like I if it's certain things that My older manager don't want to do that I feel like it's necessary for me because I'm also living a dangerous life.  I need some goddamn security Can we take that out of your bread because if I keep taking out of my bread? But I don't think I think most young niggas never really understand So you gotta watch what you sign. But all my deals with these managers be handshakes. I don't do Like when it comes to that, I don't really do no more paperwork even with labels now All my deals with these labels.  I'm too I get it


Hey everyone, it's Neil Brennan. It's a block's podcast. My guest today is a guy who I used to go to tapings of his TV show. Is that true? That's totally true. I never knew that. Yep, I used to go to tapings of Mr. Show with Bob and David. Excuse me, sorry, I'm sorry. Oh. Hey everybody, I'm David Cross. No, no, no. Wait, you'd come with us to the taping? Mm-hmm. I would go. I wouldn't have remembered. No, I wouldn't. You're our brother. No, no, no. I would go and sit in the audience. 1994. Yeah. Yep. First one. See? All right. See, I told you. And then he was on, it was Mr. Show, that was like five years. And then he did, he was on Arrested Development. I'm afraid I just blew myself. And the whole time he's been a great comedian. And his name is David Cross. And he has a podcast that I don't write and name down. And he is a new comedy special called Worst Daddy in the World. That's on YouTube. And he's got a few on Netflix and HBO. All over there. Yeah, they're fucking, come on. Grow up. Scattered to the winds. Yes, I used to go to tapings. I didn't go to that. No, I didn't go to like a ton of them. But I went to a few of them. No, I didn't. It was the, to explain to someone what like alternative comedy was at the beginning. Yeah. Now seems, I mean it was 27 years ago or whatever. 30 years ago. 30 years ago. I mean, that label came out a little later. I think it was somebody from the LA Weekly did a article. I'm young. What is the LA Weekly? Again, that's one of those things.  No, I know the LA Weekly. But you know what I mean? Like, what is it, mister? A CD. All right. Clean Air. What? Tap water. It was, well, New York tap water is great. No, tap water is fantastic. I mean, there is no alternative anymore. It's all pretty much that. But yeah, back in the early, early, early days, 80s, I guess. I put the whole thing on Janine Garofalo. The professional darted what we now consider alternative comedy. Somebody else gave her squarely, gave her credit as well. Oh, I think she was it. She, I mean- Oh, Bob did, Bob in his book. Yeah, I think she pretty much, you know, I was with her in Boston and there was just, nobody was just doing that at all. Just going up with- You would have a notebook. Notebook, scraps of paper. Not nice clothes, not presentational in the hall. And not doing, not doing like, you know, set up punchline tag type stuff. I heard about you. I think, well, I heard about you from mothers, maybe it was later. I was kind of roommates. Sam Cedar had an apartment in New York or an apartment in LA that I stayed in and then John Benjamin would come out and stay there. Yeah. Well, John was in, John and Sam were in my sketch group in Boston. Yeah. So- So did I know you back when- Not really, no. When did I meet you and your brother too? Yeah, probably in the 90s, late 90s. And then I was, me and Chappelle wrote Half Baked in 97 and then I started- But you were in New York. You were in New York. I was, but then I moved down line. Quietly. Quietly, yeah. Under cover of night. Shh, don't tell anybody. Yeah, I didn't tell anybody. Totally obscure person's movie. It's like when people make a big production of like, hey guys, I'm getting off social media for three months. It's really toxic.  Yeah.  Yeah, no, you're gonna know. And this is not performative anyway, that's what I told you. I'm interested. I like you sent good blocks in, which I'm happy about. Are you happy with your life? Cause I've always looked at you. I look at you with the same sort of category as like you and Marin and people that are had, I'm gonna put it in quotes, integrity. Artistic- Ad infestants.  Right. And I always felt like, cause I would go to tapings and I was like, I watched the, I watched Mr. Show. I think I've seen every episode several times of Red N' A and we spoke about it like a huge fan.  There was a right way and a wrong way. Sure. And I do, do you feel like that, looking back on that, was I right about that? And do you still feel that way? There's a lot to be covered in that. I don't, I wouldn't say right versus wrong.  You know, for some people, I'm a sellout, for some people, I'm not. And I- That was like, that's also a real 80s, 90s term of like- Yes, yes.  And I've talked about this before because I don't think it exists anymore. People don't even know what you're talking about. Like sellout, they're like, what are you talking about? Did you get a Super Bowl ad or not? Sellout is an ad that's not on the Super Bowl. I think to me, at this point, and I'm gonna jump ahead, and I'm gonna, at this point, I think it's about, are you taking on everything? Like when I see, to me, the thing that's, there's not a lot of distaste for stuff left. If I know you're blatantly lying, then that's, I find that unethical and there's no integrity. If you are hawking something that you know is bad or the company behind it is bad, that is also lack of integrity. But for me, it's like, like if you're doing the Capital One bank card ads, and you're doing Amex ads, and you're doing smart water ads, I mean, that's just like kinda, and I do feel now in which I didn't when I was younger, yeah, if I can get the money, take the money. Like when I remember hearing Modest Mouse on some car ad, this is 10 years ago maybe, and thinking good.  And the records aren't making him a ton of money. So yeah, make some money, enjoy life. You have a kid, two kids? I have a kid, yeah. Which that changes shit, I would assume as well. In terms of like, okay, now I absolutely need money and I'm a lot less rigid. I'll tell you what, this may be surprising, but that's not the case. I talked about this in my special. I think, I mean, I have a rich kid, certainly rich by my standards growing up, it bothers me.  And I really try to infuse everything that is good about our lives with, and we also live in Brooklyn, so we're around the corner from a treatment center.  Yeah, and you did that intentionally.  They did, it's easy to do. And so they now go to the treatment center and it's, you know. And you'll stay to fentanyl overdose in the mornings? I'm totally 100% fentanyl free, that's part of my services. That's the David Cross promise. If I get you high, it will not, it'll be no, not even a trace of fentanyl, yeah. But you will stay high for a good decade and your wife is- Until your daughter learns. Yeah, and I have to say, don't drink, don't do drugs. Look, look at that guy shitting himself. And he'll be like, play it up a little bit. Hobble. Yeah, right. Well, they don't have to, I get them good stuff. So you have a rich daughter and that you've resented a little bit. Yeah, I'm at the point where, I've saved up a lot of money. I don't, if I had not married my wife, I would have so much more money. Is that true? Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't- You're married to an actress, Amber Hamlin, very successful, popular actress and great actress.  I mean, she had, she was the only child she's been working since she was 11. And she had to like, support her family growing up, right? Kind of. I mean, sort of. Yeah.  And so, yeah, she was a breadwinner for sure. But she also just gets money and spends it and doesn't really think.  She, when you go shopping, there's no, like, I'm always looking at the UPI, Universal Price Index, tells you how much- Is it on the thing? I don't really know what an UPI is. It's the most important number. So you'll see some olive oil, right? Yeah. And it's $18.50. And you're like, Jesus Christ, that's a lot of money for olive oil. And then you'll see another one that's, you know, $9.20. And you go, oh, I'm gonna get the $9.20, but because of the packaging and all that stuff, the UPI is the number for how much you're paying per- Ounce or whatever? Ounce or whatever the increment is, you know? And that's on the thing. It's to the left of your price number. Thank you. Yeah, trust me, you will learn, you'll go and get a box of cereal, right? Well, I'm gonna get the cheaper one. This one's seven and that one's 11. Well, you're getting a lot more product for your $11 than you are for the seven- And they don't buy Ounce. They don't buy, like, they don't, it's not- It'll be right there. Whatever, whether it's liquid or- Right. Yeah, UPI, look at the UPI. Fantastic. Especially things like butter, right? You're like, well, this butter's cheaper. You're like, no, not really. Not when you add it up. Anyway. And she doesn't pay attention as to, I don't either. But like, here's an example. And listen, I'm not bitching. I love my wife. This is, we're just very different people. I was one of three kids. My dad left us in mountain of debt and my mom struggled and we were latchkey kids. Obviously, he had to work and we'd come home to school and she wouldn't be home. You know, I'd have to take her and my sisters and we had no money. So there was, do you had to make choices and do you want shoes or do you want this? And you learned about that. And you also learned not to waste a thing. You don't throw food away and you don't buy more than you need, right? You buy what you need. And just those little things from growing import that are, and listen, there's another thing, I don't want salmon mush out of a can with powdered milk. That's what we got. If you're hungry, you eat that.  So, but there's none of that in our house. There's like- And you believe that's constructive as a lifestyle. Like you think it's worth, do you think it makes better people to grow up in some level of poverty or tension around money? I'm not necessarily better, but certainly more equipped to deal with adversity and literally anything that might come your way that is an inconvenience. I can sleep on a cement floor, I'll be okay. My range of what I can be not necessarily comfortable with but when it comes to temperature, like I can deal with 100 degrees and I can deal with it when it's 12 degrees.   I grew up whatever and there are times when I think I'm better equipped for life, right? And then there are other times where I think if the shit went down or whatever, if there's some sort of giant shift in how people live, I kind of believe that rich kids, whatever would figure it out in about two days. They would just adjust to whatever. Now, if you're saying that- What makes you say that? Because they would have to. Cause people are- Well, everybody has to. Right, but I'm saying we're pre, the human body wants to stay alive, right?  But I will say you may be right if things remain calm that it'll be harder to study, it'll be harder to do difficult things. I don't know, I don't necessarily agree with that. I don't understand why a person who has been privileged would have an easier time if- Oh, I don't think it'd be easier. I think it wouldn't be, I think they would just- Adjust their attitude.   Like he's just very, he's like turned completely. So I am with you in terms of like, maybe people that grow up privileged are soft. But I also think like, if they had to be hard, they would get there. But I'm with you. Let me add a little wrinkle to it. I think privileged and insulated is not good. So privileged and you have a horse farm and then you go to boarding school and all that, that's probably not good. But privileged and living in New York where you see everything, that's a little different. I think that I could see your point of view there. I think it's the insulation. And look, this kid is surrounded by love. What do you think of that relative to assuming you weren't surrounded by, yeah. My mom's side of the family, my grandmother was ice cold, weird, odd lady, just cold. And I used to say, just as for my own amusement, I'd end a phone conversation with, all right, I love you, Grammy. And then she would say, righto. She wouldn't say, it was weird. And my sister and I would always- So great. And then- Born in 1920. Yeah, 20 something. Right. And both of my grandfathers died before I was born. And then I had one grandma who was very warm, but she died of cancer when I was five or six. And then my mom's side of the family was just, so it was my grandma, my mom and her brother who went insane when he was 18 and was committed and kind of nuts. Kinda, he was. And so very small. And then my dad's side of the family, which was very boisterous and loud. And there were five kids, five or six, one, two, five kids and tons of cousins. They came over from England. And my dad was on the boat. And lived in the Bronx and Long Island scattered around. But it was really fun kinda. And very European in that sense. And, but then we moved every year, we moved somewhere else. And then we moved to Georgia, back to Georgia where I was born when I was nine. And then my dad split and just, and we barely saw him. And we just, the rest of the family just didn't have anything to do with this. I know they came down from my bar mitzvah, a bunch of people did. And that was really it. And like all the people, like they just, my dad wasn't involved, they just checked out. And so my daughter has none of that.  Or my in-laws and my family were always up.  And we wanted to take her to Northern California, go see the Redwoods. And my wife has family there and she has multiple reasons to go. We'd go to San Francisco. Napa, go to some Napa, yeah. Yeah, do wine tasting. She's got in a very sophisticated palate. But we make her spit out. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so we had this, it was Amber's idea, go up to see the Redwoods. Yeah, be cool. She'll love that. And we could not get her, she was like, she was sorta into it, but she wants to go to Atlanta and hang out with my sister, sister-in-law, my mom. Like, we go to Atlanta like three times a year. You want to go for spring break? You don't want to go do this thing? Like, no, I want to see Aunt Wendy. Okay, all right. When you say that she's surrounded by love, my, because you grew up not surrounded by it, I grew up not surrounded by it in certain ways, my thought is like, again, growing up hard does make you pretty interesting. Yeah. As a person.  Look, I don't know her. But do you know what I mean? Like does it, she's not gonna, she might not be an artist, Dave. Is that, what do you think? I'm quite happy with that. Yeah. That's fine.  And she wants to be a veterinarian. So I, Go with that, yeah. You know, by connecting those thoughts, I think she wants to shoot dogs. Sure. But I'm fine if she doesn't. And look, I have the, if you were going to start from scratch and like, I want to build a comedian. I have all of the ingredients. So it's not a surprise. Yeah, it's funny, cause when you threw in Bar Mets, I was like, and you're Jewish?  Total package. It was weird. Yeah, it was weird. And the South, and England, and abandonment, and righto. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm, okay. Well, we'll talk more about it. I would like to say- I wanna know a little bit of your background, if that's okay. Please.  Yeah, youngest of 10. Oh, Irish. Yeah, Irish Catholic.  Yeah, just like alcohol. I'm the youngest. Alcoholic dad, violent, and mom who did her best. And you know. Well, that's also a recipe for a comedian. I know. Yeah. Yeah, my brother- Two comedians in one family. It's not good. Yeah. Not a good parent. It's not a good parent. Some went wrong. Yeah, 20% of the family is a good parent. Everybody did their best, but they weren't that good. Not a lot of natural talent. You gotta talk to Odin Kirk about his- I wanna talk to Odin Kirk. Yeah, he's got a- He's got a- Oh, yeah. Well, it's in the book. He doesn't even really go into it. I feel like the book was not- I feel like he didn't really- He didn't really. Yeah. It's tough for him.  Yeah, but his mom was like over the top Catholic, like- Yeah, that's in the book, yeah. In a very extreme way. Yeah.  Yeah, I wish, I mean, and I say this as somebody who also, I wish he was having more fun. He's having fun. He is. I remember, like I had been hearing about nobody, his action movie for seven or eight years, he had been trying to get that thing. He had the idea that he would- He went and shot a little bit of it himself, right? Like he did like a sizzle kind of thing. I remember seeing him and he had just come back from shooting like- He was probably doing the stunt, probably showing the stunt training and stuff. He had been trying to get a project like that going for a long, long time and then everything kind of, eventually after years fell into place and he went and did, and he talked about a lot. I mean, we talk all the time obviously and it was a big thing for him. And then I went and watched the movie and it's not my kind of thing, you know? But I could see, obviously I knew the backstory, but I could see how much fun he was having. Okay, good. Okay, good. He had so much fun shooting it and getting it going and hanging out with those guys, you know, and I could tell. I could tell how much fun he was having. You know what's interesting about you?  I'm really, it's interesting to watch both of you, both of your careers and like there were points where he must have been jealous of you and that, or not jealous, but like- He's not a jealous guy. Not jealous, but like, when you're in a partnership, people compare you to each other. Right. And there were points where like, you were doing crazy really well and then he was doing really well and I'm always like, I hope you guys are always, and it seems like you're always friends. Oh, God, yeah. Oh no, we're very close. We're gonna climb Machu Picchu in- For real? Yeah, in May. Who's filming it? Okay. What's, who's doing the content? Are you gonna make a documentary? We are. We will take, I mean, it'll be as minimal of, you know, one or two cameras and we'll wear GoPros and you know, how can we get those fancy glasses with the cameras in them? And yeah, we're gonna go climb Machu Picchu. But it's front, I mean- Yeah. It's filming it is, was later. The initial thing was like, hey, let's do this. Let's do this. I would like to quickly say in terms of like, if you're not familiar with Mr. Show, there's a sketch called The Audition that crosses the star up, whatever, stars of it, whatever. The star of the sketch. Well, the script is actually the star of that one. But like- Yeah, exactly. It's maybe the best comedy sketch I've ever seen and I don't say that. I say that pretty well in form. The monologue that I'll be performing now is from the play entitled The Audition by Gavin Hollerwood. Can I use this chair? Sure. Oh, no, I started it. That's part of the monologue. That's a good one. It's up there.   Meanwhile you say scammy, flammy, mammy, constant fucking, constantly. And God and the Bible. The one of some mother. Tamara. Yeah. You need to respect the baby because life is precious and God and the Bible. There's just so many things. There's so many small lines. Oh, my scammy, flammy, mammy. Oh, my scammy, flammy, mammy. I forgot all about that.  It's just the tag on a sketch, you break in and sing my scammy, flammy, mammy and there's 70 of those. That was such a fun sketch and character to do. I always like doing those really earnest guys who are clueless, you know? You're very good at that. Was that, there was another guy, yeah, there was always a guy that wore a scarf who was like an inventor, rode over a common bicycle. Yeah, yeah, the, right, Dylan, I think it was. Yeah, I don't even know. Oh, that guy's like the pretentious, just, you know. He didn't have TV, he didn't. I don't watch television. Yeah, I didn't listen. I don't eat raisins, what? Why? Cause it's not a true grating or whatever the thing is. I don't eat donuts or hamburgers or any other food that has a approval of the masses. Yeah, I like, Fart and Gary was a character like that, just earnest, trying to be nice and just clueless.   It was, yeah, it was some weird place on Las Palmas, I think, just off of Hollywood and it was all we could afford. And it was a bar, it was weird. And they still had the menu up there, like windings and things and whatever. And you could literally hear crickets. There were crickets in the walls. And our audience was bussed in, we had an audience service at that point. It was a lot of kids from El Segundo who didn't quite. Who didn't really care for comedy in general or your comedy in particular, Brian didn't like your comedy. No, I remember asking some, there was a table, we were, you know, stopped down. It was a restaurant. And I was like, hey, so what do you guys think? And this guy's like, you could use a little more color in it, all right? Legitimate. It's just, you know, old white guys. Yeah, legitimate criticism, looking back. All right, let's do some blocks. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Can I ask you a question? What's the first thing you do if you had an extra hour in your day? Would you go for a run? Would you read a book? Would you show it for a friend? A lot of us spend our lives wishing we had more time. The question is time for what? If time was unlimited, how would you use it? The best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and to make it a priority. You didn't think I was gonna pronounce priority that way, did you? Priority. Release, coast. Therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it. Listen, therapy. It's helpful. It's good. It's just good to talk your problems out. It's helpful for learning positive coping skills and to set boundaries that empowers you to be the best version of yourself and it isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist anytime for no additional charge. Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com-slash-N-E-A-L today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterH-E-L-P.com-slash-N-E-A-L. I've gone to therapy a lot of my life and it's had huge benefits that I talk about nearly every week. Almost boring. If look at me and I guess we're in so damn entertaining it'd be a real snooze fest but thankfully we're naturally pretty, pretty good. What? Pretty good. Pretty good. BetterHelp.com-slash-N-E-A-L. All right, let's do some blocks. Number one, anxiety. You say you have like standing anxiety. Yeah, before I understood what that meant and I just had a very cursory idea of like, oh, you're anxious, you're nervous or whatever and I didn't really think about it and I was, it happened since I was younger, like young, prone to depression and I always just assumed, again, ignorance, oh, I'm a depressive, I get depressed and then I, it got pretty bad. There was a couple of things that kind of triggered it when I was in Los Angeles and then I started going to a therapist which I had never done and she was amazing and then she recommended going to a psychiatrist, the one who I'm gonna describe. The one who gives, yeah. And I started seeing the psychiatrist and he's the one who diagnosed me, he goes, yes, you've got anxiety, you've got this level of anxiety and I, that was a real eye-opener because I didn't know what true anxiety was and then every, when I was- Like it was functional, that was just your personality? Not, that's, it's what I had and it's what I could treat and I could treat it both with chemicals, which I did and do and I can treat it by learning how to not go so deep, like come out of it a bit and I remember one time I was in a car driving and I was at the on sunset, trying to take a left on La Cienega. So do you remember that area? And there's like a pink dot over there. I was looking down, I was looking my left and I was looking down the hill and I was seeing the Beverly Center, Beverly Connection. A beautiful view. Yeah. And I've been in LA for maybe two years at that point and I had like a real kind of panic attack. Like attack is too strong a word, but it was just- A flood. Yeah, just overtakes and the light turns green and I can't go and people are honking and I'm like, I'm just looking, it was a- That is a, I will say, I've been not all over the world, but I put that in my top 10 most stressful intersections. Yeah. Cause going up La Cienega, you're rolling back. Yeah. I was going down. No, I get it, but I'm saying and that left, it's two lanes. Yeah. There's of course the pink dot.   And there's two this way, this way down a hill. Never would that be such a novel idea. Like, whoa, this place is like a 7-Eleven, but they'll deliver to you? It was incredible. There was nothing like it at the time. There were no apps, no. And you're like, you get toilet paper, ice cream. Yes. Colt 45. Yep, cigarettes. And cigarettes and condoms and a frozen pizza and they'll just put it in a car, bring it to you. Let me get this straight. Yeah, it was incredible. But yeah, so I had this and I knew then I was like, okay, this can't, cause I had little episodes when I was younger and a lot of it was, having moved to Los Angeles and not liking LA and also the thought of like integrity and all that stuff. Who am I? Am I being true to myself, et cetera, et cetera. And then I knew it was time to get some help. You know what's interesting? I don't remember when you talked about this. It was either on a podcast or there was like a guardian interview with you where you're just talking about cocaine, doing cocaine in England. Yeah. Did I read that or I heard you talk about it? Do you remember doing a lot of cocaine in London? Not more than usual. I mean, there was like a... Cause you don't seem very much like a drug guy. You don't like read as a drug guy. I was a big upper guy. Like I didn't like, I was not a downer guy. I didn't like lose or I've done, everything a handful of times, like heroin was just not worth it to me. Did you ever do it? Try it? Yeah, yeah. And it was like... I mean, it's okay. I never shot it. And it was, I probably did it, I don't know. Maybe seven or eight times total. Heroin. Heroin, yeah. How many times would you say you've done cocaine?  No one ever openly talks about cocaine. I'm pro cocaine, but like in any drug, it has to be used in moderation. I'm not a nor was I ever like, hey, did you read the Carl Hart book drug use for grownups? No.  I like the title. He's a professor at Columbia. Yeah. And the book came out two or three years ago and he's like, you can do meth. Yeah. You can do all this.  I did lots of crystal. Did you really? Yeah.  I had one specific rule that's very, very important to me and it's why of all the things I've ever done, I've told this story before, I did crack in London. And... This must have been the thing I heard. Yeah. And it was amazing. And I was with two friends and three strangers and they were strange strangers.  Mirror film or whatever that's called. Yeah, like Sherlock Holmes. We were, there was this guy who was like a very well-known town character figure in Camden, Camden Town, which was like the hipster. This is a pre-Shoreditch and all that and pre-Hackney. So Camden Town was the place. And this guy would perform in the back of a fish and chip place. And it was kind of rockabilly, whatever. And you just, everybody knew him. He was one of those guys. And I don't know how it came to be, but me and two friends and that guy, and then these two older kind of funny, cackly British women. You ever read Viz, British comedy magazine? They have the, there's a comic called Two Fat Slags and they were kind of like them.  And we smoked crack. And I could not understand these women. These women were like Northern England. So that's really tough to hear and to comprehend and their accents. And it was just weird, right? And we smoked crack all night until the third time, maybe fourth time. And it was like, are we gonna get some more? Cause we kept buying more. And I was like, if I don't leave now, cause I was doing shows. I was there, I had a month at the Soho Theater on Dean Street, Soho. And I was like, if I don't, oh, I didn't even tell you my, I'm sorry, if I've went through all this.  I have to quit. And that was my promise. You have to quit the substance, not comedy. The substance, yeah. If it's messing with my ability to be professional to deliver. Karl Hart's rule is you have to sleep. Anytime people have psychosis from drugs, it's because they haven't slept. Yeah. All the bath salt, which is a fake story anyway, but like any psychotic episode, the first question you should ask is, have you slept? And the answer is always gonna be no. Yeah. So he's like, take a sleeping pill, do whatever you have to do. Yeah. That makes sense.  And you're like, what? It's 10 a.m. I'm in Tompkins Square Park and I've got a tall boy in my hand. What am I doing? Go home. It's time to go home, you know? But yeah, I said no, I gotta go. And that was the one and only time because it was great. Yeah. It's great. That's actually a joke, I think, from Mr. Show. It's wide attack to sketch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever done crack? What about crack? Do you ever, do you want some crack? Yes. Dude, you're out there. I hadn't done it at that point, but Jay had and he was like, oh yeah, it's great. Yeah, it's the funny, it's like the first time I've ever seen someone on television say, yeah, I think the line is, yeah, it's great. It's crack. It's incredible. It was great. It's crack. It gets you really cool. But I was not a downer guy, but I love doing, again, in moderation and I wasn't like, let's do fat rails. Yeah, would you do it like celebratorily or would you just do like, I don't know, I feel like doing drugs. No, no, it was only as a practical function to keep staying out. So I would not do big lines, but I would have some and I would do bumps, you know, and we'd be out.   But I mean, I was having a blast. And I was going out drinking and meeting girls and hanging out with friends and going to shows.  I would just, it was as I said to my wife, it's like a cup of coffee for your nose.  If it's enhancing, knock yourself out. That's what I, that's how I did Coke. So I did a lot of Coke, but I didn't, I was in a Coke head, I wasn't fiend, I just, and it's also, you know, literally I knew everybody, there was a guy at every bar, you just, you find out who it is and you go, grab a bag and that's it. It's easy.  Yeah, great, cocaine. So, yeah. It's fantastic. Are you sponsored by cocaine? Hopefully, if you'll do a funny read on it. Okay, so the anxiety and you've just sort of have, now you take Zolofta or you take something. Yeah, I'm on a very mild, so I was on and off it for a long time and I was on it for a bunch. It was great, very helpful, almost, I mean, not literally immediately, but very soon. And I had- I remember taking Zolofta worked on like the third day. Yeah, it was great, you know? And I didn't lose any part of my personality, which was my big fear and it was really helpful. And then I was in Turkey, I went to Turkey for a month and I'd been on it for a couple of years at this point and I was like having to take this, these, you know, bring my pills with me and I'm just like backpacking around Turkey and I'm like, what am I doing? I have to get up in the morning and make sure by nine o'clock I have my anti-anxiety. I was like, all right, I'm gonna go off it. And I went off of it for a while and then I found I needed to go back on. So I went back on and then when Amber and I got together and we were serious, like right away, it was basically, she moved in within weeks and that was all she wrote and- Real quick, that must have been exciting. Yeah. To have like fall in love and need- Yeah, we, I mean, it was like very quick and we were just in, which I rarely did if ever was I would always like try to- Did you question it? Were you like, is this healthy? Is this right? No, great. I mean, I, which kind of meant that it was, you know? I mean, our age difference was always a, you know, we were conscious of it, me more than her, but yeah, it's not an issue and it wasn't an issue. It was just, you know, the- I'm just talking about the speed.  I'm always like, ah. Yeah, again, it just sort of felt like, no, that's- So what's gonna happen? This has worked fine. And I think in part it worked early on too because we were, even though we like moved in together very quickly, you know, she'd go work on a project for three months and, you know, a visitor, she'd come back and then vice versa. I'd go out and, you know, I got a shoot in Vancouver for our Godel- She's not the only one working in this relationship, guys. And then I said, you know, I've been on, I'm on Zoloft. I think you should get to know me when I'm off Zoloft. And she said, okay, sure. So I went off of it. I was off for a long, long, long, long time. And then when my daughter started school, I started, like I would always, if you ask my wife, we have a place upstate and that I've had since before even met her. It's just, it's awesome. It's in the woods and it's great. It's tiny and I love it. But when we leave, when we go to leave, I'm always, it's where my anxiety kind of tends to come out and then not great, you know.   So when my daughter was born, I mean, that was all great and everything and I didn't really have those tendencies.  Like, well, you got to put your shoes on right now. We're gonna be late. And just like, chill out, you know? And it would just keep happening. Can you see it, because my girlfriend has a kid and I can, she'll be like, I was a little today and I could see it affecting my son.  Oh, for sure. And I'm hyper aware of it now, especially because it's been a thing in my life and I don't like it. I mean, I would make fun of somebody else if they were in my presence doing that. I would be like, okay, calm down. It's all right, everything's gonna be okay. And it's just a matter of whether you can control it. Even though I know what I'm doing, it's like, I can't, well, great. And it really came to four when we were playing video games. I introduced her to, you know, they have games for kids that are really great.  And I'm like, Marlo, you got to go left. I'm like, a video game. That's meant for children. And I'm going, well, no, now we gotta start over. Okay, now you've done it. Fuck. And just terrible. And then I was like, all right, I gotta do something about this. And so it was really when she started to go into school, I noticed it and then I've been back on since. Great. Really low level, low dosage, but enough to prevent me from screaming. You're talking about a video game about pegs. Block number two, which I'm looking forward to because I don't know what's ever said this, the illusion of happiness. So the illusion of happiness goes, it speaks to a little bit of what you had brought up very early on about the integrity and happiness and all that stuff and whether I'm angry or anything. It just makes me think, you really have to search and yourself and dig deep and like, am I happy? Because I know I should be happy. I have everything you could want and what you- You're living, this couldn't have gone too much better. No, I have- So as someone who's been aware of you for 30 years, Mike, this worked out really good for Cross. Yes, there were moments where it might not have. And I suppose it goes to this idea of, I should be happier, right? Because I've got everything. I shouldn't be depressed, but depression is part of the human makeup and even the things that, I have an amazing wife, I have an amazing daughter, I have a great in-laws, my family's great, we're relatively comfortable. There are two things that can make me unhappy. The state of affairs in America. Yeah, if you care about that, it's like a, yeah. It's like a commitment to misery in a weird way. Or not in a weird way, that's kind of what it is. And it used to be, I don't know, it seems like an especially severe time. Well, there's, it is more severe. It was always there, but you could, there was a feeling of like, up until six years ago, there's a feeling of, or eight years ago, there's a feeling of, oh, whatever, it's a cycle. It's a pendulum, the pendulum goes and these guys are assholes, but they'll be gone soon. And it didn't feel as weighty and existentialist, like there's a feeling, a very real feeling of like, oh shit, everything we ever knew may go away. And that's jarring and all the stuff that I grew up with making fun of the Southern Baptists and the weird rules at my school and I'd get in trouble for saying the word transvestite, what, okay, and like all that's kind of, just it's their anecdotes and they're things that didn't really deeply affect me, but the fact that those folks could, you know, have minority power in a very realistic way is frightening, you know, and disturbing and upsetting. So that's a constant thing.  Like I don't watch the news, like okay. And then the other is work, work is the, perhaps the main thing that is drives my happiness or lack thereof. Do you think that's good? No, I wish it wasn't, I wish I could be happy in for its own sake. It's like this with some vocation, certainly ours, where if you don't work for three months, you start getting itchy like, and you really do think like, am I ever gonna work again? There's no other company, you don't go to a company and try to fill out. No one has to employ you.  And then COVID came and that was a year and seven months, which is a lifetime. In this business, it's a lifetime. If I can't go more than a couple months without doing a set somewhere, like I have to, I got stuff to talk about and I wanna do it and I like the thing that it gives me where I get up on stage and it's fun and it's a year and seven months, man. Yeah.  I was like, no. And that was an eye-opener. So the illusion part is- Am I, why I said you gotta dig deep? Am I tricking myself that I'm happy because I've got all these things that by every reason should make me happy? And I am happy, but am I that happy? Do you feel guilty about not being feeling- And appreciating your position? Yes, I feel guilty about, I feel guilty about having money, I feel guilty about not being happy, not being more appreciative, not tremendous guilt, but I feel it. Right, but like residual. Yeah. And do you do anything about it? Cocaine. Fanta, it's like a cup of coffee for your nose. No, I haven't done Coke in, like since my kid was born, or since shortly after my kid was born, I haven't done anything really. Yeah. Good.  And I enjoyed that part of life, like who knows?  No, no, this is pre-fentanyl. I would never do that now.  No, it's nothing, or I don't know what that is, but it burns, but, and you, and I would never do that now, you know? Yeah. Whether I had a kid or not. I mean, just like, it's, it's, you know, it's a Russian roulette. Yeah. I do play Russian roulette though. It was a place in midtown. That's, that's, you know, David Buster's has Russian roulette. Did they really? Yeah. I've been misjudging that place. This is interesting. Anger and dissatisfaction with your creative output. Yes, that is something. Because I would, from the outside in, you seem pretty fertile creatively. That's one of the things that when I was going to see a therapist, they were working on my ability to just go, okay, so you didn't come up with anything today. That's all right. I will get very frustrated. I also procrastinate.  I'll sit down like, okay, no distractions. Yeah. Here we go. And then, you know, oh wait, what's going on in the game? Let me shoot this real quick. And then let me check my emails. Okay. All right.  Well, one of the wheels was like catching a little bit. And I need like, you know, yeah. Hate to miss a flight because of a wheel. That kind of thing. And I, and I was like, I'm going to write a memoir. And I had probably a good month of like working on it, but you know, in a relaxed way.  And I get angry at myself because then I'm like, okay, you can't play the video game until you do this. And then I'm like, I'll find justification. It's so funny. Cause you're like, if I, if you asked me to guess, I go, you don't have a gaming console. Oh yeah. Chris does not have it. Oh, I love it. I remember Chris Rock told me one time he had to get rid, he was playing so much Madden, he had to throw it away. And if he hadn't, he wouldn't have written his movie top five. Yeah. He only wrote it cause he couldn't play Madden. Oh, I absolutely believe that. And I, cause it's like guys that I'm like, no, these guys are like pure artists. But I have a real deep appreciation for the breadth of some of these games. The breadth of thought is the best culture, is the most staggering cultural achievement of, I'm going to say the last hundred years. And I say that dead on. Yes. It's really fun. It's really impressive how expansive it is. But there are some stories. There are games that the story and the acting and everything about it is, and I find myself saying this to my wife who's not into that stuff at all. She's not anti, but she just doesn't enjoy it or get it. It's not her thing, but like the first, the Bioshock, the first Bioshock game, still never saw that twist coming, one of the greatest twists in video game history. I didn't play it. I don't know what the choice is. Someone told me what the twist was for this part two of the Rockstar Western game. Red Dead Red Dead Redemption.   Never saw it coming. And there are games where you just have this great experience. There's a game, I think it was an indie game called Life is Strange that was just brilliant. I have a question, I remember being in Miami, one time, driving along and being like, when was the last time I was here? And I was remembering it from Grand Theft Auto 3. Ah, yeah. And like, does that count as a human memory? Do you know what I mean? Like it was a good feeling. That's wild. It was a good feeling, a good memory of driving a convertible in Vice City. And then I was in the thing that it was based on and had the memory and I got the same oxytocin and dopamine and serotonin, like, I don't know. That should count. And that was the first one with the great soundtracks, right? Yes. Yeah, so maybe something was playing that was like. Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's why. I ran so far away. And did you purposely run over people?  Like, yeah, at first you do. And then you realize it's only like 40 bucks.   You don't want a five star. I gotta answer a mission and yeah. Yeah. Get to the garage. So yeah. Yeah, no, I'm happy that you like video games.  Oh, they're so great. No, of course, of course they are. But like it's a hard thing as people who grow, it's like, it's still very, and it's a massive waste of time. I disagree. Okay, great. I don't think it's a waste of time. You don't accomplish anything after your time, not like you do with writing or something, but it's no more a waste of time than watching a very satisfying TV show or movie. It's no more a waste of time than even reading a book. I happen to hear you feel this way. Yeah. It will allow me, I will only allow myself to do it so often, but I think women hate them in my experience video, for the most part. There's plenty of video games. But it's not, but it's a very male domain. I told my girlfriend, it's like knitting for men. It's kind of just like absinthe. Yeah, but it's largely a female domain. And sometimes men do it. And I would say that video games are knitting for men, just as cocaine is a cup of coffee for your notes. Okay, so what do you, and then have you accepted the, your output is what it's just gonna, do you have a natural sort of tidal, like sometimes the tides come in, sometimes go out, you can't force it, you gotta chill and it will come. But I think that's lazy justification for not working harder. It is true, you can't force it, but you can sit and try to get something out of your system and see if you stumble upon something. Have you written jokes that way? I have a hard time writing jokes that way. I've never, I've never written a joke, sat down and written a joke, never done it. All my, I'm doing them now. These, these shows and the last four tours, excuse me, in the upcoming tour, I'll go out in the fall again, is all I do this thing called shooting the shit, seeing what sticks and then I'll go, I'll start in a small, you know, union hall, 99 seats, whatever in the basement. And I just have my notes and I go and I tape everything, take every set I ever do and just try to riff on these ideas and then slowly but surely, you know, you start getting this, oh, that idea is good and I'll put that and then you build the bit that way. That's how I do everything. Do you build it when you're not on stage? If you know it's a good bit, you'll just sort of run it in the background. Well, I can't, I have transcripts of everything I've done, right? So then I can start constructing like, oh, I riffed this line or I went off this tangent here because I'm very- You will look at it. Oh yeah, yeah. You will look at the transcript. No, I have it, you know, typed up and like I've got it on my computer and I go that line, let's like that. And then I can build the bit from there and have it written because it's all, I've got them all, you know, I've got, at this point I've got 10 sets. You had the first, I'm remembering another bit, I saw it on E entertainment television. It was about animal, it was about vegetarianism and something about dolphins.  Like, this is a good bit. That was one of my first, yeah. Good bits. Oh wow, that is cold old. It was, yeah, I remember- Well, it also came from a heckle.   And then somebody, I was doing that, this is in Boston, that's how long ago it was, somebody said, no, we don't not eat dolphins because they're attractive, we don't eat them because they're smart.   And then I just sort of played with it in the moment and I was like, oh, well, there's the bit. Yeah. That's what- And well, I think either tag or punch line was like, and you go good with tuna. Or no, I'm sorry.  Oh, okay. It was like tuna and sorry, tuna, you go good with mayo. So that's old, old old. Yeah, I'm a fan cross, I try to tell you. And then, all right, so you just, you've just accepted that you're, you do your best, but it's gonna come, the process is gonna be the process. Yeah, but I am partly to blame and that's what is also, it's a vicious cycle, because I will get angry with myself for procrastinating and then not, even though I, and then I'll justify it by going, well, you know, you can't force a brilliant bit. And then, and I think what helps is I just push away from the computer and the desk and I walk outside, I go outside and I live in New York too, so it's nice. And when I was, you know, I've run a couple of writer's rooms and when we would be doing Todd Margaret in London and you just, you hit this wall and then it's just a matter of, you know, diminishing returns for how long you're gonna stay there and try to figure out this fucking, how do we get, you know, this guy to go to the library because he's crossed out, you know, trying to figure out some logic thing and you just, you're just sitting there in silence and every two minutes somebody go, what if, oh no, you know, and then it's like, all right guys, let's go, we're going outside, we're gonna go, we're gonna walk around.  Yeah, good. A power walk. A power, there's the only kind of walks we take guys. Have you had to entertain on the show? No, I'd love to though, give me a touch on it. Nihilism and hypocrisy, which is kind of what I open with in terms of observing you from afar. Yeah. There was a righteousness. There's always been a righteousness to you. And when I say nihilism, I mean, not in the specific clinical definition, but the idea of nothing matters, pessimism, dismissal, and I can feel that way and it's not a good way to feel and that's a block for being creative, I think, and living a good life.  Or suffer. Or suffer, yeah. So that is something that I kind of have to work at to, and having a daughter has been tremendously helpful and I said this before, it's something that I wasn't conscious of, but I became aware of, which is because I got this kid and I hang out with her friends, they come over or I go to some other kid's house and I hang out and stuff. It's not fair to her, it's not right and I can't afford to have that nihilism and I need to find the good in things and be optimistic about things for her sake and for her friends. So me, you and I can do that and I can get on stage and talk about this stuff, but it has, I have to for my own health, mental health and for her, mental health, be positive about things. And that's just like, it's no, you can't negotiate with it, it's not like, it seems like dealing with my girl's kid that part of me and a parent, three and a half, part of me and a parent is like, protect them as much and then as you can and then slowly introduce heartbreak and pain. Absolutely. Like that just slowly immerse them and like this is what the world was, but just say, we're heading in this direction. We're gonna inform you. I'm gonna do that so much as a lot of it is about fairness and it's an old cliche, that's not fair. Well, life isn't fair, but I don't just say that. I try to explain in real ways that are helpful and helping her understand things. Life isn't fair for a lot of people and for example, I was mentioning the dozens of kind of junkies and pillheads and whoever on the corners of our street because of the treatment center.   He took some drugs and it's making him not understand reality and he doesn't allow him to make good decisions and et cetera, et cetera. But it's also about, I will sneak something in there about maybe, who knows why, but maybe there was something that led him to that, that maybe his mom and dad weren't around and just things that. It's not a moral failure. It's just like he had a nervous system that couldn't deal with the world. And maybe he didn't get an opportunity. Maybe he wasn't able to and just little things like that.    So, she knows my, that I had a bad dad. Cause she doesn't have, she has.  Hey, who, how do you think you've got this house? If you want a house, you'll let me live too. So, she's aware of that. And like, cause there's grandpa Russ, but there's no, my side of the family. Explain to her and she knows that and she knows there's kids in school who just have one parent and so all that stuff. I think it's a good, it's good to have an understanding of like, this is the world and this is how it works. And perhaps there's a bit of like, I guess I'm lucky to be appreciative of the things that she has that other kids don't. All right, we got a wrap. My question is, my final question, I mean, big fun, but like what's your goal for yourself? With all this stuff, with your, what's your goal for your emotional life? Well, I'd like to remain happy. I'd like to foster a fun atmosphere at home that's chill, that's like, allows for Marlowe and my wife to not have to worry and to grow creatively and as people and I don't want to be a cause of stress for anybody, you know, I don't want to be a cause of stress and I don't want to be a cause of stress for anybody. So emotionally that and I've, since she was born and I've gotten to be a better person for sure. Like I used to have a real problem. I did not like it hanging out with people after a show and I used to be really uncomfortable and I'd run away, run to the tour bus, I didn't want to talk to anybody and then, and I couldn't take a compliment and I was just a kind of a jerk that way and, or jerky behavior, I don't think I was a jerk but it could easily be seen as like, well, that guy's, why do you run away when I sit high? You know, but on the last tour, I did meet and greet. So I've come a long way and it was really cool about it and people, everyone was appreciative and I could not have done that five years ago, no way. Yeah, I just, I'm so I'm better that way and that was something that I worked on. What was what were you working on? Like being generous to people who like you or being generous to yourself or accepting love to people, all of that, if I was out eating with Amber before Marlowe was born and people like, hey, can we take a picture and be like, hey, man, I'm eating, you know? Like to the point where Amber would get uncomfortable and I learned to be better about that of like, you know what, maybe not now, but after, if you're around for sure, absolutely and just be more pleasant and not be so brusque about it and I'm a lot better at that now and have, you know, the last five or six years I've gotten much better about that. I would, when all said and done, and I pass, my goal is that I'm considered one of the top 400 stand-ups in the Eastern part of the United States. To which I say, stick with it. Yeah. Oh, my scammy, flammy, meh-meh.


When a kid has a demon, and I mean legitimately, would that person, would that kid, go to Cap'n Creek?  Watch this. I command now. Every new spirit must leave this boy on three. Would God use a known liar, a known heretic, someone who's called another man, Papa? It is only because of you, Baba. We would be nothing without you. We plant this seed at your feet, Daddy, to serve you. Would God use that person to deliver someone?  What God would use, though, is his word. What did he do in the past? If someone wants to be made whole, if they're suffering, and we do believe there's demonic activity, then what we give them is the Holy Spirit. How do we do so? By placing your faith in Christ, you will receive the Holy Spirit. And no demonic spirit can be in the same place as all the Spirit graders. He that's in you, then he that's the devil, or any of his minions that's in the world. Remember that and stop listening to her.


In Benrey State, as political activities towards 2023 gears up, civil servants in the state have not been owed up to three-month salaries. The state's governor, Samuel Orton, in an interactive session with journalists at the government house in Makodi, said it has become difficult to pay salaries of workers because of the rising cost of overheads, the inability of the NNPC to remit money to the federal accrual, and the state's low internally generated revenue as a result of insecurity. He added that the state is making efforts to overcome the challenge. The cost of overhead is one. The second one is, for several months now, the inability of NNPC to remit money to the federal accrual. The other fact can be attributed to the new idea which is as a result of insecurity has been difficult to coordinate the collection of IGN. And the total amount is because over five million IDVs in various countries to do business and to complement the salaries that are paid to workers. So this has created a lot of difficulty. According to the governor, the state does not have powers to borrow money to pay salaries except with the permission of the federal Ministry of Finance that's management office. There are certainly different powers that are important to pay salaries. The unfortunate difference with the state is that we don't have the right to borrow money from the state otherwise how can I say it? How can you say it? The direct translation of some of the questions is what you're trying to do. And I really do do that. But as a state, we have this issue about the federal Ministry of Finance to deal with. But the federal Ministry of Finance deserves to stay.


The Marine Corps has always been known for adapting to an ever-changing battlefield. The most recent case in point is the combat shooting team. The Marine Corps combat shooting team takes part in three-gun competitions where pistol, rifle, and shotguns are applied to a course designed around combat engagements, something the team, which includes 200 warriors, is familiar with. All of them are experienced combat veterans who have been out there and are now in a billet that allows them to take what they did in combat, see what's going on in the world of competition, and then bring it back to the world of combat marksmanship. The combat shooting team, though similar in the spirit of competition, brings different skillsets to mind than the Corps' rifle and pistol shooting teams. With the combat shooting team, it gives us, it's more dynamic. So your magazine changes, it's shooting multiple targets, shooting on the move, shooting moving targets. Those are all the skills that the rifle and pistol team, they don't bring us because they focus more on the static precision marksmanship. So it kind of really completes the whole marksmanship program when you're talking about Marine combat riflemen and the skills that he's going to need. Team members say the three-gun courses will evolve, giving Marines a chance to review their equipment and techniques. It's not so much just rifle, pistol, shotgun. It's full kit. It's a good way for Marines to test out their gear, test out their skillsets, and on a personal level, you know, see where they're at, see where they're sitting with their peers. The team competes in combat shooting competitions, both in the States and abroad, in learning techniques and weapon systems from other competitors. From Washington, I'm Lance Corporal, John Tucker.


So I thought it'd be fun to revisit something that a lot of people don't even know about so back in 2016 I was name-dropped on an episode of meet the press with Chuck Todd Chuck Todd referenced the Humanist Report podcast and me while he was interviewing Bernie Sanders So back then I was much much lesser known. I had less than a hundred thousand subscribers I think we have like 50 or 60,000 at the time, which is still quite a bit But much less compared to now So I never expected the mainstream media to ever pick up on anything that I was doing But yet out of the blue somebody says hey, Mike, I think this was on Twitter They let me know hey, Mike you were just on meet the press and I'm like No, I wasn't what what does that even what does that mean? And they talk about how I was name-dropped come to find out there was an article Written by Alex Siteswald of NBC news where he references a particular video that I made back in 2016 And that article which references me was then talked about on meet the press. So let me get to the article first There's just a couple of paragraphs where I'm cited and then afterwards we'll watch the clip And I want to tell you my thoughts on this because honestly, I know it might seem weird But this made me a lot more cynical about politics and I'll explain to you my reasoning So this is what Alex Siteswald wrote about me other progressives have been even more critical Mike Figurato host of the Progressive Humanist Report podcast tore into the senator Bernie Sanders for abandoning Canova quote I can't rationalize this. I can't defend you here Bernie.  I remember him really butchering my name, but watching it again He actually did okay, but take a look and take a look at Bernie's reaction to this article where they quote me criticizing Bernie Sanders, you know senator one of your supporters a Mike Figurato Host of progressive it's called a humanist report podcast and he was really upset at you personally because he actually thought you abandoned Mr. Canova he thought where were you you didn't campaign for him and he even said Look that feeling you felt when Elizabeth Warren abandoned you and chose to run away from you during the Massachusetts primary That's what Tim Canova is feeling right now. What do you say to him or any other Sanders supporters? Well, what I was if you didn't do enough Well, you know, there are a lot of things happening in this country and things happening in my own state and work that I have got to do I can't do everything but I would say that Our supporters as I understand that contributed about six hundred thousand dollars to Mr. Canova's campaign That is a very significant contribution. I think what you are going to be seeing in the weeks and months to come Chuck is me playing an active role not only trying to make sure that Donald Trump does not become president of the United States But that in fact we create a movement for this campaign and for the future Which creates a government in which our government responds to the needs not of The Koch brothers and wealthy campaign contributors, but the ordinary people It's so cringe-worthy to watch that if I'm being perfectly honest because things have changed so much since You know, I made that video that they were talking about Tim Canova for example Based on what I've seen is now just a MAGA chud and I get it He was kind of fucked over by the Democratic Party establishment But still if you let your hatred for Democrats Make you I guess a supporter of the Republican Party by default and Donald Trump Then I feel like you're kind of a shallow person and you don't really have a core political ideology like something like that Hatred for one party shouldn't automatically drive you into the arms of another party with seemingly an opposite ideology when it comes to You know a number of things but either way so that made me cynical because I thought listen I'm this small YouTuber at the time and I thought that all the shit that I was talking I mean I was just farting in the wind nobody in mainstream media would be able to smell it But around that time I also found out that I think was joy and read was tweeting about me And I don't remember what she said I couldn't find the tweet But it was about how like I was a litmus tester or something with Medicare for all and how I was Unreasonable and I wouldn't accept any politician that didn't support Medicare for all I might be messing up the timeline, but basically It was weird to me that MSNBC and mainstream media They picked up one of my videos and it made me cynical because I thought listen. I've been making points I've been constructively criticizing Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party establishment now for quite some time And yet the only time I am cited on mainstream media is when they conveniently want to construct this narrative About how Bernie Sanders is bad and progressives even they hate Bernie Sanders now and to me I thought that that was just so nefarious You know, I thought why aren't they using my other videos where I call Hillary Clinton a corrupt corporate ghoul Why aren't they you know using my other videos where I criticize then DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz for you know scheduling debates on weekends before major holidays and Trying to give Hillary Clinton this unfair advantage, you know, it just it made me realize, okay No matter how small you are these assholes are they're watching and they're waiting to use you To help serve their narrative. So at that point in time, it made me cynical But also a lot more astute and I realized at that point. I have to be a lot more nuanced and Really not let them do that when I do a video where I'm criticizing a progressive figure I have to add lots of caveats, right?  But I didn't feel that way like I felt like these motherfuckers are using me to criticize Bernie Sanders And I was being critical of Bernie Sanders and I didn't like that, you know, he Wasn't going to bat for Tim Konova who at the time was running against Debbie Wasserman Schultz Who at the time was ostensibly progressive So, you know, I still am of the belief that if you are a lawmaker and you have a lot of influence You should be trying to help progressives get elected, but you know, it's still very strange to you know, see The one time where it like criticized Bernie, that's when they bring it to his attention So all around really awkward and honestly cringe-worthy revisiting this But I thought I would talk about this because Farron Cousins shout out to him He posted an outtake where he messed up Chuck Todd's name And he said a tuck chart or something like that and it reminded me of the time where I thought that Chuck Todd fucked up my name where he named dropped me on meet the press although watching it again He really didn't do that bad. So I don't know why I misremembered that so much But either way Chuck Todd name dropped me on meet the press back in 2016 and it Kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. That was a little bit triggered by that to be honest


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Copyright protects everyone.  When you want to use other people's work, you must make sure that you use it fairly as well. So what does this mean? Copyright owners have rights. They have a number of exclusive rights to control how their work is used by others. These rights include the right to reproduce their work in any format, including electronically, publish their work, perform or communicate their work and make adaptations of their work. So you will be infringing copyright if you use someone's work or a substantial part of their work in these ways without their permission. Copyright owners also have moral rights. This means using other people's work without acknowledging them in your assignments is plagiarism, even if their work has already been shared online by someone else. At university, one of the ways you acknowledge a person's work is by referencing them in your assignments. As a student at university, you are able to copy a reasonable portion of someone else's work as long as it is for your research and study. So what is a reasonable portion? As a general rule, you can make a copy of up to 10% of a book even if it's online. You can make a copy of an entire article and you can also make a copy of an image. Just make sure you acknowledge your sources. For example, if you find a great image online or want to use some music in your presentation, you can do this for your university studies. Copyright will allow this. However, if you want to use someone else's work without their permission, and it is not for your university studies, then you may be breaking the law. Using someone else's work without their permission is the same as stealing, and it is your responsibility to check any licensing conditions before you go ahead. For example, the university has agreements with publishers, which allow students to use content from electronic books and journals for research and study. These agreements do not allow you to share these licensed materials openly outside of the university. Sharing content such as lecture notes, readings, past exam papers and journal articles on unauthorized document sharing sites or without permission is in breach of copyright and against the student code of conduct. You can be held accountable for this. Copyright protects everyone. It protects others and it also protects you. You don't want someone to steal your hard work and it isn't OK to steal someone else's work, so make sure you comply with copyright. If you need help, just ask.


Hello and welcome to this session. This is Professor Farhad and this session would look at partnership and this is part two of five and in this session we're going to look at income allocation and lost allocation. This topic is covered in advanced accounting and also covered on the CPA exam. I really like what would like to connect with my viewers, my followers, my subscribers. Please connect with me. I have a LinkedIn account. I'm very active on LinkedIn. I keep you up to date.  Definitely go to my YouTube and subscribe to my YouTube so you're always to get any updates. And I am on Twitter as well. So in this session, we're going to look at how partners allocate net income and net loss. Simply put, what is the overall idea? The overall idea is this. And I want you to think about Forrest Gump, okay? It's funny, but maybe it will make some sense. The partnership is a business. So they're going to generate revenues and they're going to incur expenses. And at the end of the year, they're going to have either a net income slash loss or a net loss. The question is what do we do with this net income and net loss? In Forrest Gump, what did Forrest Gump do? He split that 50, 50. Okay? So now we are going to look at various agreements between the shareholders on how they allocate this net income and net loss. Because as a partner, you're basically, you're going to be allocated part of the income. But how much of it will be allocated depends on the agreement. It could be a fixed ratio. This could be a fixed ratio. What is a fixed ratio? Basically a percentage. That's what a fixed ratio is. A fixed ratio is a percentage. Or it could be based on your capital balance. Well, what does it mean based on your capital balance? It means based on your contribution. How much are you contributing to this partnership? Okay? Or it could be based on the interest on capital investment. So let me just kind of look at some numbers here. For example, fixed ratio is we're talking about 6040. That's what a fixed ratio is. Based on capital balance, let's assume you contributed 100,000. The other partner contributed 100,000. That's total of 200,000. That's 50% and 50%. Or it could be based on interest on the capital investment. So basically, they're going to pay you interest based on your investment. It could also be some sort of a fixed salary allocation. And it could be a combination of all of those. I'm just showing you, you have different things. Or you could also have a bonus as a percentage of income. Or it could be a combination of all of those. So how you allocate income, it could be a combination of all of those. It could be just fixed ratio, depending on what you agreed upon. That's the whole thing. And the best way to illustrate this is to work actually an example. Because without working an example, this will remain basically theory. On January 1st, we have Tony and we have John formed TNG personal financial planning with capital investment 480 and 340 respectively. So Tony contributed 480, John contributed 380. The partnership agreement provide that profit and losses to be allocated as follow. So notice they have four levels of allocation. First, annual salaries of 42 and 66 are to be granted to Tony and John. John is entitled to a 10% bonus of net income after salaries and bonuses. But before interest and capital investment is subtracted, each partner is to receive an interest credit of 8% on the original capital investment. And any remaining profit is allocated 480 and 60. So this is basically a hierarchy of allocation. When you have a bonus situation, the first thing I suggest you do is to compute the bonus. And John is entitled to a 10% bonus of net income. Maybe John does a lot of work at the company and that's why they want to give them they agree to for John to get 10% income. So on December 31st, the partnership reported net income before salaries, interests and bonuses of 188. But the bonus is after salaries and the 10% bonus is after salaries and bonus, but before interest and capital. So we first we need to compute the bonus. So what is the bonus equal to? So how do we how do we set up the bonus? How do we set up the bonus? So let me show you how do we set up the bonus? Well, the bonus or saying the bonus, the bonus equal to 10% 10% times income before salaries, income, I'm sorry, income after salaries, not before salaries income after salaries, minus the bonus. Okay, so what do we know about income after salaries? Well, 10% will stay the same times. What is income after salaries? Well, we know that net income is 180,000 before salaries before salaries. So what is net income after salaries? It's 188 minus the salaries minus 42 minus 66. Okay, and that's open the bracket minus B. Okay, close the bracket. Okay, now what we have is we have 10% times 188 minus minus 108 equal to 80,000. So income after salaries is 80,000 minus B minus B. Then what we have now is 10% 10% my times 80,000 is 8,000 minus 10% times B is 0.1 B. That's all equal to the bonus bonus bonus. Okay, now what we have to do is we have 1B here. So what's going to happen is all we have to do is just rearrange, rearrange the formula.  And basically this 1B is gone. Now we have 1.1 B equal to 8,000. Now I'm just going to eliminate B. I'm going to take B and divide both sides by 1.1. Then the B, the bonus equal to 7,273. And this is how we compute the bonus. Now if you want to see if indeed the bonus is 7,273, well net income is 188. Salaries were 108,000. So we have to deduct salaries. And if we deduct the bonus, if the bonus is assumed to be 7,273, if we deduct the bonus, our net income is 72,000. That's subject to the bonus 727. If we multiply this by 10%, we'll give us this figure, which is kind of this is why we just confirm it that this is net income subject to the bonus. So our computation is correct, net income subject to bonus. So we figure out net income that's subject to bonus. Okay, let's go back to the PowerPoint slides. Now that we did the computation, the first thing is we compute the bonus. And with bonus is 7,273. Now we're going to start with the allocation. When we allocate, first we allocate the salary.  First we have, remember, we have 188,000. We're going to allocate 42 to Tony and 66 to John. So that's 108,000. Now what you do is basically you have left is one, and you started with 188, and you allocated 108. And whatever is left will be allocated. The next allocation level is the bonus. We're going to give John 7,273. Tony doesn't get a bonus. Okay, now we allocated an additional 7,273. And level three, what was level three? Level three, each partner to receive an interest credit of 8% of their original investment. So we'd look at their original investment multiplied by 8%. So, oops, sorry, for John, for Tony, it's 38,400. And now you might be asking, where does the 38,400 coming from? Well, Tony contributed 480,000. You multiply it by 8%. And Tony contributed 340,000 multiplied by 8%. And this is how we came up with the interest. So basically they want to be compensated for their capital. That's equal to 65,600. So, so far they allocated 180,873. What's left is 7,127. And how do we allocate this? We agreed to allocate anything left, 40% to Tony, 60% to John. Okay, so that's what's left. And at the end, you add up all of Tony's allocation, all of John's allocation. When you add them up, they should add up to 188,000. Let me go over this one more time. Let me go this real quick. So, first we started with the salary allocation. And what's left, then we allocate 7,273. Then we allocate the 38, the 27. And all in all, after we allocated those three, we allocated 188,73. And level four, it says anything that's left, what's left in income is this much. It's allocated 40 to 60. And when you add up all of Tony's, all of John, they should add up to 188,000. Okay, now what's the entry? Just kind of, in case you're wondering, what's the entry? Well, we're going to debit income summary, 188, credit, Tony capital and John capital for Tony for 83, 251. And this is a credit, 83, 251. And for John 104, 749. Okay, just in case you're wondering. Okay, so what happened sometime when we have insufficient income to cover the allocation? So we don't have enough income to go over the three or the four steps. It doesn't matter. We're just going to go through the process to allocate the income. So let me, we'll work an example amount by which salary and or interest exceeds net income is allocated to individual partners in their agreed ratio for allocating residual income. So just take a look at an example. Okay, for example, assume Adams and Brown agree to divide profit as follow. Adams to get a 4,000 salary, Brown to get 2,000 salary, 8% interest on the average capital balances of Adams, which is 77,500 Brown, 37,500 and any remainder to be divided equally. So let's see how it works. And let's assume for the sake of this illustration, we have 11,000 of net income. Well, first, we're going to allocate 4,000 and salary and 2,000 to Brown. So 11 minus 6, we are left with 5,000. Then it says allocate 8% under capital balances. Based on the 8%, Adams get 6,200 Brown gets 3,000. So notice what happened. We only have 5,000, 5,000 left, but we allocated 9,200. Okay, simply put, if we allocate minus 9,200, we are at a deficit of 4,200. Not a big deal. So just, we just keep going. The third option that says any access allocation, which is 4,200, negative 4,200 is divided equally, 2,100 negative, 2,100 negative. All in all, Adams gets 8,100, which is 4,000 plus 6,200 minus 2,100. Brown got 2,000 plus 3,005 minus 2,100 equal to 2,900. When we allocate the final, they should only equal to net income of 11,000. So if there is a negative, just keep going with the allocation process. That's what we are saying. Now, let's talk a little bit more about salaries and interest expense. Salaries and interest expense, salaries and interest, I'm sorry, they are not expense for the purpose of partnership. They are considered allocation of profit. So when I say we are going to be allocating a salary to Adams of 4,000 and to Brown of 2,000, those are not expense. So they don't go on the income statement. The same thing with interest. Because in a partnership, those are allocation of profit. So some change in capital account, as if salaries and interest were considered allocation of profit. So they do change, but they are not considered an expense. They do change the capital account. Why? Because if you allocate, they are going to increase the account. Since the normal practice is to recognize salaries and interest allocation of profit, any such amount, 3,000 expense should be adequately disclosed. So if you happen to treat them as an expense, you have to disclose this information. Why? Because in a partnership, when a partner takes a salary, it should not be an expense for the partnership. If you happen to treat an expense, make sure you disclose this. And the reason is, you want the reader to evaluate the performance of the firm. So simply put, when the company made 188,000 in net income, and the owner stuck out 108,000 in salaries, so what is the net income? What is the net income in that situation? Well, let's do this. Just going to show you how it works. 188 minus 108, oops, 188 minus 108, that's equal to 80,000. So did the partnership made $80,000 of profit? So if I'm investing in this partnership, should I say the partnership is making 80,000 of profit, or should I consider the partnership is making 188? Well, if the partners are taking the salary up front, then guess what? The partnership is making 80,000 because although it says 188,000, but the first 108,000, it's not really mine. So if you treat it as an expense, I need to know. If you're treating it as a withdrawal, I need to know. If you're treating it not as an expense, it's an allocation to income, I need to know. So that's why it's important to remember this concept. Adjustment to net income, what happened is sometime you might have errors in the prior year, problems and allocation of profit and loss can result if errors are discovered that occur in a specific prior year and partners have altered profit and loss agreement since the period in which the error occurred. So when you have an error, what do you have to do? Well, guess what? You cannot go back to prior years, what you have to do, you have to allocate the error to the capital account. So you just have you compute the error and you allocate it to the partners capital account, whether it's, it's going to increase or decrease depending on the error itself. Some differences from gap. Changes in partners equity should be disclosed. So you need to disclose this. Remember, salary allowances are generally not expense. And if they are expense, you need to disclose them. There's no income tax expense for a partnership because the profit goes to the partners and the partner's base income. Interest allowance on capital investment is considered allocation of profits. When we compute that interest allowance and what is the interest allowance? What we are saying is this, the partner saying we made an investment, we invested $100,000 of our own money. Well, we need to be compensated at 10% because we invested this money, $10,000. Well, you cannot consider the 10,000 as an expense. It's an allocation of profit. Okay. That's what we are saying. Okay. And why do you, again, you're going to get a salary because you are working for the, for the, for the partnership. That's why you have a salary allocation. Then you also want to get an interest income because you invested your money. So you're investing your time, you'll be compensated with the salary. So basically, if you really think about it, just kind of hopefully it will make more sense to you. Why do we have all these levels of allocation? The various level is, for example, one is because you work there. You're working at the partnership, you're investing time. Two, maybe you have a bonus because you have some special skills. Three, because you invested your capital.  So you're given money and time. Well, you're being compensated for your time, but you also want to compensate it for your money. Okay. So that's why we have different type of compensation level to basically properly capture what's really happening. Okay. Again, this is an agreement between the partners themselves. And this is a statement of changes in partners capital for the year. And basically, this is for Tom and Julie from the prior session. So if you look at the prior session, this should make sense. They started this partnership. Therefore, their beginning capital is zero on January 1st. Then they made an investment. Tom invested 51. Julie invested 25, a total of 76. Net income allocated for Tom was 33,553. Net income allocated to Julie was 16,447. And what's going to happen? This income will be added to their capital. Then we subtract any withdrawals. Tom took 12,000. Julie took 15. Julie took 12. And this is the ending balance of their capital account. And this is the ending balance for the whole partnership, 99,000. Basically, you looked at how do we allocate income for a partnership. If you're studying for your CPA exam, study hard. If you happen to visit my website for additional lectures, I do encourage you to do so. Please consider donating. If you have any questions, email me. Study hard for the exam. It's worth it.


Hey folks, Rod here from Burn to Learn. I want to show you how to change your startup page in Chrome so that you don't have to type your favorite page address every time you open your browser. So let's scroll to the top right of the page and click on these three dots. And then scroll down this menu to Settings. Click Settings. And we're going to scroll down this Settings menu to On Startup. Here you can see there are many options. There's Open, the new page, there's Continue, where you left off, or there is the option we want which is Open a specific page. Now we're going to add the page we want by typing in the URL. We're going to type in Burn to Learn.com. Click Add. And there we have it. Let's close Chrome and then reopen it to see our new startup page. And there it is. Now whenever we open our Chrome browser, this is the page we will see. This was just a quick tip. For more information and tutorials, visit or subscribe to our channel. See you folks.