OK. So good afternoon, everyone. This is a presentation on how we use OpenStack on the EGI federated cloud. I'm an orphan, and it's working for EGI Foundation as a cloud architect. And I will speak to you first about EGI, because probably most of you don't know about it. What is our federated cloud and also how OpenStack is used there? So first, EGI. EGI is providing advance competing for research. And what we try to deliver is two open solutions for science and research infrastructure by federating digital capabilities resources and expertise between communities and across the nation and other boundaries. So how we do this is by offering a set of services, which are listed here. We have three big categories. First one would be compute. And here we have cloud compute, which would be infrastructure as a service, so running VMs, block storage, and these kind of things. Then we have cloud container compute, which is running Docker on top of the cloud compute, actually, on top of virtual machines right now. And we have also high throughput compute, which is providing you an enormous patch system where you can execute thousands of computational jobs to analyze data sets. Then we have storage and data. Here we have online storage, where we would have the object storage, like Swift, and also a file space storage that is used for some of the research activities. We have archival storage. It's about making backups, basically. And then we have also that transfer service that allows us to move very large data sets from one place to another in a reliable way. And the last kind of services that we have is about training. We have two kind of services here. We have the FITASM training. FITASM is an IT service management standard, which is lightweight and is focused on federations. So we do training on this kind of service management standard. And we also have a subset of the compute and storage infrastructure for training. So if our research community wants to do some training event, we can let them use some of the resources for these kind of events. So they get new users and these kind of things. All of these services are provided by the EGI federation. So the EGI federation is composed by 26 partners. 24 of them are the National Grid Initiative, as we call it. So basically, institutions from each of the European countries. And then we have also CERN and EMBL as part of the EGI. All of that is managed centrally in the EGI foundation, which is located in Amsterdam. And this was established in 2010 after a decade of investment by national governments and the European Commission. And we cover the whole Europe. And we try to support cutting-edge research, innovation, and knowledge in Europe. Most of the resource providers that we have are from public institutions or research institutions at each country or universities. We have currently one public cloud provider, but mostly it's this research institution. And these are the centers that provide the resources for our users. The EGI federation is, I think, the largest distributed compute infrastructure worldwide. So we cover the whole Europe, but we collaborate with international partners. So we have right now more than 300 data centers. 23 of them are cloud providers. Last year, we had more than 250,000 VMs running. 1.7 million jobs each day, which have accounted for 2.6 billion CPU hours. That was a 26 increase in the last year. There are more than 48,000 users, also a 25% increase last year. And this has given results for publishing more than 2,000 research papers in the last year. So as I said, it's not just Europe. Although most of our resources are in Europe. We have partnerships with international institutions. So we have Compute Canada. We have the Open Science Grid in the USA. We have Africa and Arabia. We have Latin America, China, India, the Pacific region. We have also Ukraine and EGI in the middle in Europe. And what we do is we sign the memorandum of understanding with these partners to deliver our service in a coordinated way. Our users come from a wide variety of areas and sizes, I could say. So we have from the very big groups of the very big scientific collaborations like the Large Hadron Collider at CERN and several others. Then we have communities that are not so big but cover several countries. So that would be the second column. Then we have also industry and SMEs involved in using our resources. And we also try to cover what we call the long tail, which would be the individual researcher or small researcher groups that also have computing needs. And we try to serve them equally. So this is all about EGI. Now I want to go into the EGI Federated Cloud. So the EGI Federated Cloud is a collaboration of communities developing, innovating, operating, and using cloud, federations for research and education. It's a small subset of all of our resource centers. I mean, it's 23 providers from 14 different countries. Most of them are open stack right now. It's 16 of them. Six Open Nebula and one in Cinefo. Cinefo is a Greek technology similar to open stack in Open Nebula. And right now we have around 7,000 CPU cores. So not big but hopefully growing soon. So what we do in this cloud federation, so we have this set of resources distributed all across Europe or across the world. And what we do is, first, we provide a harmonized operation of their resources. So we federate by harmonizing the operations. What that means is we have a single service registry. We have an information system where you can get information about the resources available. We have a virtual machine marketplace. We are able to collect accounting information of what's been used. And we have also a harmonized access control. So I will go into details of each of them in the next slides. And for the users, what we do is to provide uniform user interfaces. So we have the concept of Reum. And in what Reum, we say every provider of a given real mass use the same interface for the users. So we have two. Right now we have the open stack which uses open stack as an API. And we have the open standards Reum which uses OCCI, which is an OGF standard for providing access to the users. Open stack is supported just by the open stack sites, obviously. And the open standards Reum is supported by all of the other kind of technologies that we are supporting. So now I will go into each of these federator services, this harmonized operation, and how we integrate that into open stack. So first I will go into the EGIAAI, so the authorization and authentication infrastructures. So right now we have users identified with X5 format certificates from the IGTF Federation. I don't know if you are familiar with that. But OK, users have certificates that are extended with what we call BOMS extensions. So BOMS is a group management system, basically, that provides attributes on membership of a community. So if I am member of a group organization, this software will say, OK, you are a member and you have a given role and a given group in that organization. Problem with this is not very user-friendly. People are normally complaining about certificates. They are not easy to obtain. Then it's not easy to use them in web-based graphical user interface. So EGI is moving towards other ways of authenticate users. And we are moving to what we call EGI check-in, where we are going to use federated identity standards like SAML or OpenID Connect, and ideas to allow users to authenticate with their institutional accounts. So if you have an account at your university, you could just use that to access EGI services. And we plan to go BGN BOMS and also integrate other attribute authorities if a community has such. So how we do this with OpenStack? For the certificates and BOMS, we have a plugin that we call Keystone BOMS. This is a whiskey filter for the Keystone version 2 API. So you deploy this filter in your Keystone, and it's able to extract information from the proxies coming from the user to get information about the user name and the groups that this user belongs to. And automatically, it will manage those users for you. It will create the users in Keystone, and it will add rows to those users. And these mappings of the BOMS attributes to Keystone is defined on a file. This is available on GitHub, and anyone can use it. So this is working right now. It's fine, but it's only for version 2 of the API, and as I said before, it uses the certificates. So we are moving into a new way of handling this, which is with the EGI check-in. So in this case, the idea is, in this case, is an example with Horizon and SAML. So the user would get to Horizon. Horizon would contact Schibelet in the Apache HTTPD that's running in Keystone. That would redirect the user to the EGI check-in. And in turn, the EGI check-in will redirect the user to his home IDP. So this could be wherever the IGTF for if the user has a certificate due to J2Gain or any other IDP. The user entered the credentials there in the IDP, and the IDP will return back a SAML assertion. With this, the EGI check-in can contact the attribute authority and get additional information about the user, so which group the user belongs to. So the EGI check-in will extend the SAML assertion with create a new SAML assertion with new claims, saying this user is whoever, and it also belongs to Group A, B, and C. And this will turn back into the Apache to Keystone that will generate a token that can be used then to access Horizon. So we have this working. We basically are missing integration with some IDPs and attribute authority. We have all the technical parts ready. Right now, we are delivering to the resource provider at least this information, so the single unique identifier for every user, first name, last name, email, affiliation. And then we have the assumption attributes, the claims about the group membership that will be used for authorization in the Keystone. So this is ready, and we hope to get this sooner in production. Another thing that we have is a service registry. So all the centers in EGI are registered here in this central service registry, which is available in this URL, the .egi.u. And here we have basically static information about service endpoints, just to know who is providing services. We have two OpenStack-specific service types. We are having Nova and Swift there. So here in the screenshot, you can see the list, a partial part of the list of Nova endpoints in the EGI federation. And you have this kind of web front end and also API access so you can automate from your API query which services you could use. We also have an information discovery system. So you can get real-time information about the resources. This is based on a technology called the BDII, which is based on an LDAP. It uses a standard called the glue schema from the OGF also. And here we have actual capabilities, for example, which images or which flavors are available at the site, which groups are supported or the size of the resources. We have code for this also. It's available in GitHub. And it basically connects to your OpenStack-Nova API and gets information and publish it back in the correct format. Another thing that we use for harmonized operation is the accounting. So we have the central accounting repository. There we collect and aggregate usage information. And we have a portal where you can see this information across the whole federation. So we have also used a standard here, which is the OGF usage record that we have lately extended for cloud resources. And we have a software called CASO to get the information from Nova and also a salometer if you have it. And here in the slide, you can see this is just a screenshot from the accounting portal. The total number of VMs run in the last couple of months and ordered by the country and also by the community. So you can get this kind of information easily and publicly available. We also do monitoring. So this monitoring is basically health checking of the services that they are available and running fine. We do very, very basic functionality tests. So I am able to connect to the API. I'm able to spin up a VM and stop it. And it uses our service registry, GokTV, to discover what's available and do the automatic testing of what's published there. And with this monitoring, we are able to calculate availability and reliability metrics that are checked against the SLAs that we sign with our users. So if the users have signed an SLA of 95% availability, we're able to check with the system if the resource centers are meeting these requirements or not. And this is powered by a tool called EGI Argo. This is also open source available for anyone to use. And this is a screenshot of some resources. And well, you can see everything is green. You have 100% availability. If you have some orange or red, then some problems are there. So we have a very good view of what's happening and can react in case of problems. One, I believe this is a very nice things of the EGI federated cloud. This is the virtual machine image marketplace, which is handled by the app DB, the application database, which is a web application that has a lot of functionality. But one part of it is the cloud marketplace, where we have an open library of virtual appliances. So anyone with an account can publish images there that you can use on the clouds or download it and run it in your virtual box or similar. So you can reuse, share, as I say, the contextualization to this image. And I mean, it's good, so researchers can share their software easily. Here we have also a set of EGI endorsed images that are configured in a secure way. So we try to avoid problems in the infrastructure with these images. And they are tested, so we know that they will run everywhere. And we have also sets of images that are created by the community, by what we call the virtual organization. So a virtual organization can say, I like to have this image and this other image available for me at the resource providers. And when they select them, it will be automatically distributed to all the providers supporting the organization. Again, we have code available for doing that in GitHub. And here on the screenshot, you can see, well, this is a sample entry of a virtual machine image. This is EGI endorsed Ubuntu 14.04. So it's a vanilla Ubuntu 14.04, which is known to work in all of the resources and with everything closed, so you don't have clear security vulnerabilities there. This is the community view of the FDB. So this is a community called BioMet. And there you see some of the images that they have selected in their set. So all of these images will be available at the sites if the researcher needed. And the researcher can click on each of the images, and they will get some information like this. For example, this is one image that is available on a site called CessNet MetaCloud. And here you can see different flavors that you can use to start this VM. So from this single web frontend, you can get information about which images are available, where, and which flavors I can use for starting the images.  Then we have the OCCI interface. We have an implementation for OCCI in OpenStack, which is called OOI. OCCI, for those that don't know about it, this is a RESTful protocol and API that is focusing on cloud interoperability. So it's mainly focused on infrastructure as a service, but it's accessible to other areas. This is a standard defined by the OEF. And what we have done is to deliver a new implementation of this OCCI standard in OpenStack. It's completed within Frontend Scratch. There was another implementation some time ago, but it was not properly maintained and had some issues with using internal OpenStack API. So we decided to start from scratch using only public APIs. So it's easier to transition from one OpenStack version to another. It supports VM management, volume management, and network operations. And can be installed easily with a NOVA API endpoint or as a separate whiskey application. So in the global OCCI picture, we have OCCI has a set of client tools. We provide Java APIs, Ruby APIs, common line interface. And you could have any other OCCI independent client. We have a version, which is in the middle, this Rocky server that is used right now in OpenNebula, but also can talk to Azure and Amazon web services. So it translates OCCI to those APIs. And we have then OY here as a layer that translates OCCI to OpenStack. So a client with OCCI support could go into any of these resources using the same API. So this is everything I have talking to you now in a single picture. Let's say how we integrate everything with OpenStack. And well, you can see all of the blue boxes are what we are providing as a components that you can put into your OpenStack to integrate with EGI. Then we have gray boxes would be the vanilla OpenStack services. Users would just get tokens as usual, but using this BOMS thing. And then they can interact with the NOVA API or the OCCI APIs. And then we have a set of EGI services that also interact with the site, the resource provider. So we have the monitoring that checks that everything is working. And we have the accounting repository that collects information about the sites. We have the BDII to collect information and this image subscription with app DB. This will turn soon into using the EGI chicken. So I mean, very similar to the previous slide, just changing these Keystone BOMS to OS federation extension of Keystone. So it would be just upstream Keystone no modifications there. For the other blue boxes, we provide the appliance, which is a VM that you can start in your cloud and configure. So you will talk to your public APIs and do all the things for you. So you don't have to worry too much about internal details. All of the components there are available as Docker containers. So you can also run it with Docker. We have full documentation about this and the appliance is published also in the app DB. So you can get it from there. And of course, you can use tech technology that we provide to build your own custom federation. Maybe you find some of these components interesting for you and you want to build your own federation. What we are proposing in EGI is that if you want to have a cloud realm with us, you should follow the mandatory things here. So you should follow the EGI federated service management, which means you need to be compliant with the policies of access, follow security coordination that we have. So if there is an issue, you have to respond to it, et cetera. Then you should register your services in the EGI service registry. You should comply with the EGI AI and also provide accounting records to the EGI account repository. Monitoring, once you register anything in GoDB, it will be done for you. So this is mandatory, but nothing to do from the provider side. And then we have the other services which we consider optional. So if you want to build a new cloud realm for your community and you don't need the information discovery, that's fine. You can do it like that. The same thing with replication of virtual machine images or integration with AppDB or using OCCI or using the EGI helpdesk that we have. So we provide the technology, and if you find it useful, yes, please go ahead and use it. And if you want to have a realm in EGI, please go ahead and get in touch with us so we can create a new one. Now I have a few examples of who's using Cloud Compute right now. It's a very high level view. We have this web page in the EGI website with details of use cases. So for example, I have six. So different areas. One is from the Astro Astronomy area. So that's the extras project that is collecting a lot of data from 13 years. And it's using the Cloud Compute to implement the analysis of this data. Then we have the dream which is about Earth observation. So they are simulating hydro-mentological events, such as floating, et cetera. Then we have another use case from Sweden, which they have a set of tools for doing dynamic analysis. And this is quite use worldwide. So it says more than 6,000 users in 73 countries. And this is an application that you just put in your laptop and connects to the cloud to do the calculations. Some other examples also in the bio area, this example that was published in Nature and not so long ago about Salmonella and doing some RNA analysis of the bacteria. Then the cloud of EGI has been used to do simulation of seismic events, like the earthquake that happened in Italy this summer. Or another example is pitch note, which is about analyzing music. So they also run their analysis software in the EGI cloud. So far, we have that. We want to improve our federation. First, we want to improve the user experience by providing this certificate less access with new EGIAAI. We are extending this up-to-be marketplace with a new feature to be able to do the VM management directly on the web page. So you have everything in a single place. We have a new version of the OCCI standard coming that is improved. It's much easier to implement and has better networking support. We want to go beyond infrastructure as a service and want to exploit results from one of our sister projects, which is the Indigo project to offer platforms as a service for our users. And we also want to get more involved in OpenStack. So we want to get more involved in the scientific working group and work into identity federation, which is something that we need. And we'll try to push for changes where we need them. I have some references here. This is our web page. We have a section of our wiki with lots of information about the federation. We have quite detailed installation manual. So if you want to get technical, you can really get technical. And we have a mailing list, which is this one, where you can send your mail, participate, and have discussions there about everything, about the clouds and research. So thank you very much for your attention. There is some time for questions. So if you have some, go ahead. So in your talk, you described how you're doing authentication on the front end. You're going from the old ProxySert to the new method. But you also described a service registry and then also the app marketplace. So given when a user authenticates and gets a set of attributes, do you use those to limit or control what kind of service discovery that they do and also what kind of app discovery that they do? You had the example of the Biomed, I guess, group or something like that. So when the user authenticates, do they get a Biomed attribute? Are they a member? How does that work? So this EGI check-in will be integrated across all of the EGI services. So the service registry, the GOGDB, is already integrated. So if you log in with the EGI check-in, EGI check-in will return to the GOGDB. You're a member of this VO, or you have an admin role, which is mostly the most important thing in GOGDB. You are owner of this resource. So you can edit the resource. You can add new endpoints there. So everything uses the attributes from the EGI check-in to do authorization. And different members of the Federation different sites, can they register different service endpoints in the service catalog? So in the service catalog, you have an owner of the resource center. And that owner can add new people there. So you have resource center and means. And that information is stored there. And for the group membership, we are using BOMS right now. But we are able to plug into other attribute authorities that may appear. And we think that there will be more than just BOMS. And that information is also included in the claims. So the app DB or GOGDB, anything, can check those claims and present a restricted view or anything you want to do. OK.  There is a VO management system somewhere. But I didn't see that described here in any detail. So maybe I can go there to the far away. So BOMS would be this attribute authority here. So right now, as attribute authority, we are using BOMS. But DCGI checking is able to use anything with a rest interface. OK. In terms of your attribute authority, is that where VO attributes would reside? OK. So in terms of defining what's in a VO or associating VO attributes with a specific user, that's where it would be done. Yeah. OK. You can have more than one attribute authority. So it's not restricted to just one. You could have as many as you want. And you would have to have some sort of consistency between them? Yeah, we have defined. There is another, let's say, sister project called AARC, which is all about authentication and authorization, where we are trying to standardize how these claims are defined. So everyone has the same staff and the sites, the resource center can know what to expect. So they know the claims will come in this format and will know how to deal with them. OK. Thank you. You're welcome. Any other questions? Can you go to the, because otherwise it would. I would actually go. OK. In your very first slide, you mentioned, or maybe the second one, that you provided different sources of resources, heart, report, general purpose, training, that sort of thing. I was wondering how you manage, I guess, the capacity planning around those things? So we are actually doing that exercise to define how we are going to do the capacity planning of everything. So I'm not involved in that area, so I can give you a good answer. We are working on defining the process for the capacity planning. So yes, we are aware we need to do capacity planning, and we are defining how to do it. And it will be done soon, because we are standardizing all our internal processes. But right now, I cannot say, OK, we do it like this or like that. But yeah, we are aware that we need this capacity planning. So I think that's all. Thank you very much for your attendance.


Live from Barcelona, Spain, it's theCUBE, covering KubeCon CloudNativeCon Europe 2019. Brought to you by Red Hat, the CloudNative Computing Foundation and ecosystem partners. Hi and welcome back. This is KubeCon CloudNativeCon 2019 here in Barcelona. 7,700 in attendance according to the CNCF Foundation. I'm Stu Minimanai, co-host for this week is Corey Quinn and happy to welcome back to the program a CUBE alum, Rob Somsky, who's the product manager for Red Hat OpenShift. Rob, thanks so much for joining us. Happy to be here. All right, so a couple of weeks ago, we had theCUBE in Boston, my short drive for me didn't have to take a flight as opposed to I'm doing okay with the jet lag here, but Red Hat Summit was there and it was a big crowd there and the topic we're going to talk about with you is operators and it was something we talked about a lot, something about the ecosystem, but let's start with there. For an audience that doesn't know what is an operator, how does that fit into this whole CloudNative space in this ecosystem? And where can you hire one? So there's software programs first of all and the idea of an operator is everything it takes to orchestrate one of these complex distributed applications, databases, messaging queues, machine learning services, they all are distinct components that all need to be life-cycled and so there's operational expertise around that and this is something that might have been in a bash script before, you had a Wiki page, it's up just in your head and so it's putting that into software so that you can stamp out many copies of that. So the operational expertise from the experts, so you want to go to the folks that make MongoDB for Mongo, for Redis, for Couchbase, for TensorFlow, whatever it is, those organizations can embed that expertise and then take your user configuration and turn that into Kubernetes. Okay and is there automation in that? When I hear the description, it reminds me a little bit of robotic process automation, or RPA, which you talk about how can I harrow them, RPA is, well, there are certain jobs that are rather repetitive and we can allow software to do that so maybe that's not where it is but help me put it into the... No, I think it is. Okay, awesome. Yeah, because if you think about it, there's like a certain amount of toil involved in operating anything and then there's just like mistakes that are made by humans when you're doing this and so you would rather just automate away that toil so you can spend your human capital on like higher level tasks so that's what operators are all about. All right, great. Do you find that operators are a decent approach to taking things that historically would not have been well suited for auto-scaling for example because there's manual work that has to happen whenever a node joins or leaves a swarm that is that something that operators tend to address more effectively or am I thinking about this slightly in the wrong direction? Yeah, so that you can do kind of any like Kubernetes event you can hook into so if your application cares about nodes coming and leaving for example, this is helpful for operators that are operating the infrastructure itself, which OpenShift has under the hood but you might care about when new namespaces are created or this pod goes away or whatever it is. You can kind of hook into everything there. So effectively becomes a story around running stateful things in what was originally designed for stateless containers. Yeah, that can help you because you care about nodes going away because your storage was on it for example or now I need to rebalance that. Whatever that type of thing is it's really critical for running the stateful workloads. Okay, maybe give us a little bit of context as to the scope of operators and any customer examples that you have that could help us get a little bit of concreteness to it. Yeah, so they're designed to run almost anything. So every common workload that you can think about on like an OpenShift cluster, you've got your messaging queues. So we have a product that uses an operator AMQ Streams, it's Kafka and we've got folks that heavily use the Prometheus operator. So I think there's a quote that's been shared around about one of our customer's ticket master and everybody needed some container native monitoring and everybody could just figure out Prometheus on their own or they could use the operator. And so they were running I think like 300 some instances of Prometheus and Dev and staging and this team, that team, this person's just screwing around with something over here. So instead of being experts in Prometheus they just use the operator and then they can scale out very quickly. Yeah, that's great because one of the challenges in this ecosystem, there's so many pieces of it. And we always ask it's like, okay, how many companies need to be expert on not just Kubernetes or but any of these pieces. So help us, how does this tie into the CNCF and all the various projects that are? Yeah, I think you've nailed it. I mean, you have to integrate all this stuff together and that's where the value of something like OpenShift comes at the infrastructure layer is you've got to pick all your networking and your storage and your DNS that you're going to use and wire all that together and then upgrade that life cycle it. And so the same thing happens at a higher level too. So you've got all these components getting your fluency pods down to operating things like Istio and service meshes, serverless workloads. All this stuff needs to be configured and it's all pretty complex and it's moving so fast nobody can be an expert. So the operator is actually the expert embedded from those teams, which is really awesome. You said something, I think before we got started a little bit about the end of a certification program for operators, what is that about? Yeah, so we think of it as a super set of our community operators. So we've got the TensorFlow community, for example, curates an operator, but for companies that want to go to market jointly with Red Hat, we have a certification program that takes any of their community content or some of their enterprise distributions and make sure that it's well tested on OpenShift and can be jointly supported by OpenShift and that partner. So if you come to Red Hat with a problem with a MongoDB operator, for example, we can jointly solve that problem with MongoDB and ultimately keep your workload up and keep it running. So we've got that times a bunch of databases and all kinds of services like that. And you can access those directly from OpenShift which is really exciting. So one click install of a production ready Mongo cluster. So you don't dig through a bunch of documentation for how that works. All right, so Rob, are all of these specific only to OpenShift or will they work with other flavors of Kubernetes? So most of the operators work just against a generic Kubernetes cluster. Some of them also do hook into OpenShift to use some of our specialized security primitives and things like that. And so that's where you get a little bit more value on OpenShift, but you know, you're just targeting Kubernetes at the end of the day. What are you seeing customers doing with this specifically? What, I guess, what user stories are you seeing that is, I guess, validating that this is the right direction to go in? Yeah, so you think it's a number of different buckets. The first one is seeing folks running just services internally. So you've traditionally had like a DBA team that maybe runs a shared database tier and folks are bringing that into the container native world from their VMs that they're used to and so using operators to help with that and so now it's self-service. So you have a dedicated cluster infrastructure team that runs clusters and then gives out quota and then you're just eating into that quota to run whatever workloads that you want in an operator format. So that's kind of one bucket of it and then you see folks that are building operators for internal applications. So they've got deep expertise in one team but if you're running any enterprise today, especially like a large-scale e-commerce shop, there's a number of different services. You've got caching tiers and load balancing tiers. You've got front-ends, you've got back-ends, you've got queues. So you can build operators around each one of those and so that those teams, even when they're sharing internally, hey, where's the latest version of your stack? Here's the operator, go to town, run it in, staging, QA, all that type of stuff and then lastly, you see these open source communities building operators which is really, really cool. So something like TensorFlow, the community curates an operator to get you one consistent install so everyone's not innovating on 30 different ways to install it and you're actually using it. You're doing high-level stuff with TensorFlow. Yeah, it's interesting as you laid out. Some of these, okay, well, a company is doing that because it's behind something, others you're saying it's a community. Remind me, Red Hat's long history of helping to give, if you will, adult supervision for all of these changes that are happening in the world out there.  We've kind of got tools for everybody. Yeah, anything specific in the database world? It's something we're seeing that Cambrian explosion in the database world? Yeah, I think, I mean, folks are now finally wrapping their heads around that Kubernetes is for all workloads and to make people feel really good about that, you need something like an operator that's got this extremely well-tested code path for, okay, what happens when these databases do fail? How do I fail it over? And it wasn't just some person that went in and made this, it's the expert, it's the folks that are committing to MongoDB, to CouchBase, to MySQL, to Postgres. So that's a really exciting thing is you're getting that expertise kind of as an extension of your operations team. All right, for people here at the show, are there sessions about operators or what's the general discussion here at the show for your team? Yeah, there's a ton, even too many to mention. There's from a bunch of different partners and communities that are curating operators, talking about best practices for managing upgrades of them, users, all that kind of stuff. I'm going to be giving a keynote, kind of an update of some of the stuff that we've been talking about here later on this evening. So yeah, it's kind of all over the place. What do you think right now in the ecosystem is being most misunderstood about operators, if anything? I think nothing is quite misunderstood. It's just wrapping your head around what it means to operate applications in this manner. And so just like Kubernetes components, there's this desired state loop that's in there. And you need to wrap your head around exactly what needs to be in that. Your declarative state is just the Kubernetes API, so you can look at desired and actual and make that happen, just like all the Kube components. And so it's just like a different way of thinking. And we had a panel yesterday at the OpenShift Commons about operators. And one of the questions that had some really interesting answers was, what did you understand about your software by building an operator? Because sometimes you need to tease apart some of these things. I had hard-coded configuration here. One group shared that their leader election was actually not working correctly in every single instance, and their operator kind of forced them to dig into that and figure out why. And so I think it's a give and take that's pretty interesting when you're building one of these things. Do you find that customers are starting to rely on operators to effectively run their own, for example, MongoDB inside of their Kubernetes clusters, rather than depending upon a managed service offering provided by their public cloud vendor, for example. Are you starting to see people just stop, effectively start reducing public cloud to baseline primitives and a place to run containers rather than the higher level services that are starting to move up the stack? Yeah, so a number of different reasons for that too. So you see this for, you know, those services, if you find like a bug in that service, for example, you're just kind of out of luck. You can't go introspect the versions, you can't see how those components are interacting. And so with an operator, you have an open-source stack. It's running on your cluster and your infrastructure, and so you can go introspect exactly what's going on. You know, the operator has that expertise built in, so it's not like you can screw around with everything, but you have a much more insight into what's going on. Another thing you can't get with like a cloud service is you can't run it locally. So if you've got developers that are, you know, doing development in an airplane or just want to have something local, so it's running fast, you can, you know, put your whole operator stack right on your laptop. You know, not something you can do with a hosted service, which is really cool. And, you know, most of these are open-source too, so you can go see exactly how the operator is built. It's very transparent, especially if you're going to trust this for a core part of the infrastructure, you really want to know what's going on under the hood. Okay, just to double-check, you know, since all of this can run on OpenShift, it is, you know, agnostic to where it lives, whether it's a public cloud or your data center. So these are truly hybrid services. So if you're migrating your database here, for example, over, now you have a truly hybrid, just targeting Kubernetes environment, so you can move that in any infrastructure that you'd like. And this is one of the things that we see OpenShift customers do, is some of them want to be cloud to cloud, cloud to on-prem, you know, different environments on-prem only, because you've got database workloads that might not be leaving or, you know, you've got a mainframe that you need to tie into a lot of our FSI customers. And so operators can help you there where you can't move some of those workloads. Yeah, cloud on-prem makes a fair bit of sense to me. One thing I'm not seeing as much of in the ecosystem has been cloud to cloud. What are you seeing that's driving that? I think everybody has their own cloud that they prefer for whatever reasons. And I think it's typically not even cost, it's tooling and cultural change. And so you kind of invest in one of those. And, you know, you, I think people are investing in technologies that might allow them to leave in the future.  But that doesn't mean that they're not perfectly happy, you know, running on one cloud versus the other, running Kubernetes on top of that. Yeah. All right, well, Rob, really appreciate all the updates on operators. Thanks so much for joining us again. Absolutely, it's been a good luck. Good luck on the keynote. Thank you. All right, for Corey Quinn, I'm Stu Miniman. Back with more coverage, two days live, wall-to-wall, here at KubeCon CloudNativeCon 2019 in Barcelona, Spain. Thanks for watching.


TheCube presents HPE Discover 2022, brought to you by HPE. Hey everyone, welcome to Las Vegas. It's theCUBE live on the show floor at HPE Discover 2022. The first in-person discover in three years. There are about 8,000 people here. The keynote was standing room only. Lisa Martin here, I got a powerhouse group joining me for this keynote analysis. Dave Vellante joins us. Keith Townsend, John Furrier. Guys, a lot of news. It's all about HPE GreenLake. What were some of the things, Dave, that stuck out to you? Well, I'll tell you right now, I got to just quote Antonio Neary. Said, four years ago, I declared that the enterprise of the future would be edge-centric, cloud-enabled and data-driven. As a result, we launched HPE GreenLake. It kind of declared victory. Now, I would say that what they're talking about and what they announced, I would consider table stakes. You know, I wish it started in 2014. I wish Antonio took over in 2015 instead of 2018. But I have to give credit. He's brought a focus and I think he's amped it up, John. I mean, he's really prioritizing the as-of-service. They're going all in. They're burning the boats. And it's good. They got a lot of work to do. They got a lot of work to do. Three years ago, John, Antonio stood on this very stage saying, by 2022, we're going to be delivering our entire portfolio as a service. Here we are with GreenLake. I want to get your thoughts on Keith's as well. Well, first of all, I think that the crowded house was a sign of people wanting to come back together. So it's, to me, that was the first good news I saw, which was the HPE community, their customer base, they're all here. They're glad to be back in person. It shows that they had their customer base.  So this resonance with the customers, Dave, on that new operating model. That's a great check the box there. I would say that I don't think HPE's as far along as Antonio had hoped he'd be. The pandemic was a setback, but GreenLake is a real shining star. It's producing some green, if you will, money for them in terms of contracts. But they've still got a lot more work to do because they're in a really interesting zone, Dave, because edge to cloud, although relevant and accurate where the shift is going, are they really there with the goods? And to me, I'm looking forward to seeing this discover if they have it or not. Certainly the messaging's good, but we're going to unpeel that onion back and look at it. But Keith, they're on the curve, right? At least they're on the cloud curve. They're absolutely on the curve. They have APIs. They have consistent developer experience. They announced the developer portal. They're developer centric. You can now consume your three-part storage array services via a Terraform provider. They speak the language of cloud practitioners. You might struggle a little bit. If I'm a small startup, why would I look towards HPE? They kind of answered that a little bit. They had Evil Genius as a customer. One stage, not a huge organization. A lot of the pushback they've been given is that if I made startup, I can simply go to an AWS portal, launch a free trial service and run it. HPE kind of buried the lead. They now have at least a pre-announce, the capability to trial GreenLake. So they're moving in the right direction, but it's table state. Well, here's the dynamic data that's going on. This is something that we've been covering HPE for now 11 years at theCUBE. And look at Amazon's success. And look at where Amazon's struggling, if you can say that. They're having crossed over to the enterprise, because the enterprises are now just getting up to speed. You're seeing the rise of lack of talent. IT's certainly changing. Cyber security, you can't find talent. Kubernetes, good luck with that. Try to find someone.  So the rise of managed services is what we're seeing out there right now. You want Kubernetes clusters, there's a great set of managed services. You want other services. So that's the tail sign that the enterprises, HPE's customers are now walking before they can run. They're crawling, now they're walking. So they have time to get into Amazon lane, in my opinion. Well, you think about the hallmarks of cloud. Obviously there's as a service, there's consumption-based pricing. There's a developer friendliness. There's ecosystem, which is really, really important. I think today a lot of the ecosystem is partners, resellers and managed service providers. And to your point, Keith, table stakes are things like single sign-on, being able to have a console, being able to do it from a URL. To your point about startups is really interesting because that's one of the other hallmarks of cloud is you attract startups. And Lisa, we were at the Snowflake Summit and I asked the same question. Can Snowflake attract startups with their own super cloud? And what you saw was ecosystem partners developing in the Snowflake cloud and monetizing. And that's something that we're waiting to see here. And I think that, you know, there are ways away. You're suggesting that HPE is going to attract startups? Well, I think that's a sign if they can do that, that's a sign.  Yeah, I'm hoping that HPE, I don't think HPE is going to ever attract startups. But I think the opportunity GreenLake affords the ecosystem is build clouds or purpose-driven clouds around GreenLake. Whether it's the agreement with Equinix or all the Colos and semi-clouds, I think GreenLake gets most small CSPs, a leg up or 80% of the way there where they can add that 20% of the IP and build services around GreenLake. And then that can attract the startup. Or entrepreneurs. So the big question is, okay, where are these developers going to come from? They could come from incumbents inside of companies. You know, the DevOps crowd from the enterprise, the really ops dev crowd, right? Don't you see that as a sort of a form of innovation startup, even though it's not a true startup? Yeah, even though it's not, so it's making faces over there. Look, if they can't do that. Their focus is not startups. I agree with Keith on this one. They have to take care of business. Home Depot, they have big customers, and they have a lot of SMBs as well. They've got a great channel. HPE's got amazing infrastructure and client action going on. They got to get the operating model right. Job one, as a service, ARR, and then contract value and nail that with GreenLake. Who's their ideal customer profile? Their ideal is their install base. Look at Microsoft, they were 365. They were going down, their stock price was 26 at one point. Go to the, they went to the cloud, 365, moved everything to the cloud and look at the success they're having. HPE has the same kind of install base. They got to bring them along. They got to get the operating model right. And the developers that they're targeting are the ones inside the company and or manage services that they're going to go to the ecosystem for. That's where the cloud native comes in. That's where everything kind of comes together. So to me, I'm bullish on the operating model, but I'm skeptical that HPE can get that cloud native developer. I haven't seen it yet. I'm looking for it. We're going to look for it here. A key to that is going to be consistently. The one of the things I'm looking for on the tech side, I hate to compare what HPE is doing to what VMware did with VCloud air years ago, but VCloud air on the outside looked wonderful. Yes, it did. Once you try to use it, it was just flaky underneath. And that's the part I'm looking to see. Customers pounding on it and saying, you know what, API call after API call, can I provision 10,000 pods a day? Does it scale? Does it scale? And is it consistent? Is it fragile? For Del La Rosa, she's a seasoned veteran. She was at VMware Cloud. She saw that movie. She gets a mulligan, Dave. So I think her leadership is impressive. And I think she could bring a lot to the table to your point about don't make that same mistake and they got to get this architecture right. If they get the operating model right with GreenLake, they can double down on that and enable the developers that are driving the digital transformation. That to me is the key positions that they have to nail. And they do that. The rest is just fringe work in my opinion. The reason why Fidelma was brought in, sorry, Lisa, it was, and then you got to chime in here, was to really build out that platform so that internal people at HPE can actually build value on top of it and the ecosystem. That's her priority. We're going to hear a lot from the ecosystem in the next couple of days.  What are some of the things that you're hearing right now that are differentiators? We were just at Dell Technologies, we were all talking about Apex. You saw the big announcement they had with Snowflake. We were at Snowflake two weeks ago. I want to get all three of your opinions on what are you seeing, where is HPE leading? I mean, HPE and Dell will both with it, Dell with Apex are good. They're both going to differentiate with their strengths. And for Dell, that's their breadth and their portfolio. And for HPE, that's their sort of open posture. I mean, John, you know this well. That's their ecosystem, which I know has to evolve. And to me, their focus. Antonio laid out some of the key differentiators. I think some of them were kind of pushing the envelope a little bit, but I think their focus on as a service, burning the boats, telling Wall Street, this is our business. I think that's their differentiator, is that they're all in. Yeah, I think they try to highlight it by re-announcing their private cloud service. I don't even know why they needed to announce that they have a private cloud. GreenLake is a cloud, it's a private cloud. With BlockStorage, with disaster recovery, it's like, okay. Like everything you get. But I think the key is that all of that is available today. And you can get it in all kinds of frame, of formats and frames. Specifically, if I'm a customer and I want to get out of the data center, and you know, Dave, we go back and forth about this all the time. And I want to repatriate some workloads to Kubernetes on-prem. I don't need to spin up another data center. I can go to Equinix, get GreenLake, MenIO, ObjectStorage on the backend, HPE, Lighthouse, all those services that I need for Kubernetes and repatriate my workloads without buying a new data center. And I get it as a service. I can get that today from HPE GreenLake. Dell Apex is on the way. The other thing they're differentiating with? Aruba. That's something that Dell doesn't have. And that is, their edge play, I think, is stronger than some of the others. To me, the differentiator for HP is their history, their channel's amazing, they've got great sales force, and they have serious customers. And they have serious customers that have serious problems. Cyber security, infrastructure, the security paradigm's changed, the deployment has changed how they deploy applications in their customer base. So they got to step up to that challenge. And I think their differentiator is going to be their size, their field, and their ability to bring that operating model. And the hybrid model is a steady state. That's clear. Multi-cloud is just hybrid stitched together, but hybrid cloud, which is basically on-premises and cloud to edge operating model is the number one thing that they need to nail. And if they nail that right, they will have a pole position that they could accelerate on. And again, I'm really going to be watching how well they could enable cloud native developers, okay? To build modern agile applications while solving those serious problems with those serious customers. So again, I think hybrids spun in their direction. I'm not going to say they got lucky because they've always been on the hybrid bandwagon since we've been covering them, but I thought they'd be through the long day, but they're lucky to have hybrid. That's good for them. And I think do what Microsoft did, convert their customers over, and they do that right. I think the key to that is going to be ecosystem again. The developers need to see, especially the data piece. They talk about the cloud operating model. I think they're really moving that direction. So the data piece to me is the weakest. Like they'll make claims that we can do anything that the cloud can do.  So they got to figure out that data layer. And that's my optionality of data stores, and they don't have that today. Yeah, they have an announcement coming, and I can't pre-announce it, but they've deemed them against it. They have the vision. Esmeral data services, their data fabric, multi-protocol access is a great start. They need the data network behind it. They need the ability to build a super cloud across multiple cloud providers, bringing some Google Anthos love inside of right next to your data. They have the hardware. They have the infrastructure, but they don't have the services. That's the key thing. I think one of you just brought up great point keys, and that is that at the end of the day, Dave, we're in a market now where agility and speed can be accomplished by startups or any company. And HP's customers, okay, can move fast too. Okay, and so whoever can extend that value, if HP can enable value creation for their customers, that's going to be truly their task at hand. They got the channel. They can leverage, but at the end of the day, the customers have alternatives now, and they can move faster to get the value that they need to solve their serious problems, like cyber, like scalable infrastructure, like infrastructure as code, like data ops, like AI ops, it's all here, and it's all coming really fast. Can GreenLake carry the day? And by the way, everything we just said about GreenLake in terms of table stakes and everything else, it applies for Dell. Yeah, absolutely. No question. It does, guys. We have a jam-packed three days. We're going to be talking with the ecosystem. We're going to be talking with HPE leaders, with customers. You're going to hear all of this information unpacked over the next three days. We'll be right back with our first guest for Dave Vellante, Keith Townsend, and John Furrier. I'm Lisa Martin. Our first guest joins us momentarily.


Drinking a bowl of her discharge, of course, that's gonna give you some health problems. Remember? You drank her discharge. How do you even, are we live Matt? Live. Welcome to episode number 17 of the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast. God, it takes a long time to say. What's a faster way to say it? Full act. Mf. Actual. Welcome to Mf. Mf. Marty and Michael full act. What about the Mf? Martin Mick full act. Martin Mick's full act. Or Mf. Mf. M&M S3 EP 17.  Right? What happened?  I was so sore Sunday night. We did three sets of Toca. Oh, yeah. Toca, man. We tockered it up. Last week, last Friday, we went to Jackson's. Say goodbye to him. Played a bit of Toca.   Three days in a week. Three days in a week, we played it. Michael's just practicing so that he becomes better than James, but it'll never happen. No, last time we played singles, it was three all. Thank you. James is a superior athlete. You need to. I'll beat him, James. I know you're listening your way.   Probably be about six, four. You lost three sets on Sunday, didn't you? Yeah, but I had fucking, I had Maitland and Julian. Sorry, guys, but like if you, okay, James is up there. Matt is up there. If you get Matt, if I had had Matt, we would have won.  And I'm probably not the best team member. I do abuse a bit. Sorry, Maitland and Julian. I'm not so sorry. They deserve it. You got a bit cranky at Julian.    Give us an example.  Some people don't use their knees or any part of their upper body. They let the ball drop too low and then they hit it in the net many times. That happens because they're not comfortable with their knees, shoulders and heads.  I'm all rounder.   You know I am. Yeah, you're right.  We're playing as singles before Toca tomorrow night. I'm going to win six, four. I predict it. Anyway, what else has happened? Yeah, Jackson's gone. We've been filming. We've been filming some cheeky pranks.  While he went to the shops. I was like, because you know, we need, we haven't filmed a prank for ages. And I was like just on the fly.   Such a good prank, man. Just destroying people's property. And at least I can still, I'll be able to drive to the coast after this. So we got a fix.  I don't know. Just go and have a watch. It'll be out now. Extended version or obviously on the website, which reminds me this podcast is brought to you, man. Julien Woods, he's on the podcast. All right, everyone, we have Julien Tennyson Woods live on the podcast right now.  I just wanted to ask Michael where my hundred dollars was.   I beat him in pool when he owes me a hundred bucks. You owe me a hundred dollars. No, you owe me a hundred dollars. Why? You're trying to confuse me. It's not going to work. Yeah, look, he's gone. No, that was a weak attempt to try to confuse you. Yeah, it nearly worked. Yeah, I was like inside. You were you were nervous. We are proudly sold out by a man skate. If you want your male grooming products, right? Go to manscape.com.  They got ball shavers like you've never seen before. They got these. They've even got a cologne now that actually smells quite nice.  If you want to go, if you need some male grooming stuff. Use our discount code fully actually get 20% off everything. All right. So just 20 have 20% off there.  Just go and have a look manscaped.com. We actually do use their products now and Michael is shaving his tongue after using that same shaver to shave his balls and Gooch every other week.  So it's very, very high quality. Look at that. It's got the shaver directly and it's all rounder.  I'm not. I'm not around at all. It's completely fine, man. Thank you. And of course this podcast is supported and by our subscription website, University of Markle, where we post weekly vlogs.  We went through a psychic last week. That's on there. We're playing extreme catch. We'll be out on this next episode that's out came out yesterday for you watching right now. Where we what? Yeah, yeah, we'll do it later. Yeah. Just remember extreme catch where we throw.     So if you want to support us, support the podcast sign up.  And if you want to just see what it's all about, you can sign up free for 21 days.  Stop telling people that they can leave, but that's the truth. Okay, the 21 day trial is so you guys can look and see if you like it. Oh, dude, I've been ringworming up. I pretty much just like my friends now are my fans.  I get stoned. I make them watch me play FIFA. You fart. Yeah, I haven't by the way.  I'm good at another thing. I challenge you.  He is not one one.  All right, Julian, I'm not sorry anymore. Anyway, he yeah, 10. We played 10 matches of FIFA and he's lost it. So what team did you play with? I don't know. I just choose the ones with good stats. I think it's Man City. Yuck.  Oh, who cares?  Who cares? It's a game. You play the game. I'm going to make money out of you.  You'll beat me.  I'm not an Xbox. I'm a little bit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So be even. It's the same PlayStation Xbox. Same buttons. Sort of. Yeah. Anyway, discord. I'm enjoying the discord with my fans slash now they're my friends and the discord is something you get when you sign up. If you if you become a premium member. So it's a little bit more, but we I got to get on the discord more. I'm never on my times like fucking. Yeah, obviously, I haven't got a family. So I can do that. But we can we'll just we've got to organize a time during this every morning at 6 a.m. What about whenever we're driving in the car? Oh, that's what happens. Okay. New rule whenever we're driving from A to B, we go live on the discord. Yeah. That's a good fucking. That's fair. Do you know about the discord, man? Someone asked last night. It was Greg Shelton. He wants you in on the discord. So we got to get you the link. Oh, we got to get him to pay first. I think you get special treatment. Actually haven't signed up the website.    So I discovered through through deep meditations that Julian Woods is also not a member and he's using the excuse that he's the editor, but he makes the videos. So he already knows us on there. You know what I mean? Come he's like a carrot. He's like the end of Marty and Michael. In fact, have you guys signed up to your own website? Yes. Yep. I just want to make number high. I make me happy. Yeah. I put in a lot of subscribers. Yeah. I got nothing there. Well, you do have something, Matthew Brown. You have a very, very telling diary, Andrew. Oh, have I got one this week? Yeah, we all do. It's Julian in there. Julian in there. Yeah. Someone did comment, um, Matthew's little brown versus Julian's little wood. In the diary, Andrew's that gave me a good laugh.   Dyer engine. I'm 130. Sorry. Dyer engine. I'm 112 from Michael Corey Brookhouse. Today I pulled a sheet of skin off my leg after I got sunburned last week.  Dyer engine. I'm 137 from Marty. Today was my birthday. No one remembered after I stopped crying. I went for a walk around our backyard for a while. It was a pretty good day. Diary really young then? Oh, it must have been 14.  You won't. I didn't even know you then, man. Oh, yeah. So how's that? How's that the case? Henry wasn't there for you then? Yeah. How are you now? I didn't even know when my birthday was. Did you write that entry in German? No, it's it's the numbers are coding number 1421 from Matthew Gregory Brown. The lipstick slid across my lips with ease, leaving an even layer of bright red. I saw I smiled at myself in the mirror and continued eating my raw steak. I always found that the female staff bathroom at my work was a place where I could fully be myself. I began my usual routine started searching through the bins, nothing but old tissues and makeup removal wipes, then a very subtle, slight, high pitched sound started in my ear and I dug deeper into the bin. The sound gets louder and louder as I get deeper until finally I find one of the most valuable items that I collect. I used tampon.  The blood around it was dried, but I estimated it's been in there for three hours and 14 no 15 minutes since I can since I can remember I've always been able to hear periods and that skill has served me well today. I can smell the girl who this belonged to as a 26 year old who has had a recent abortion. I give into my edges and pop the tampon into my mouth and start furiously sucking. I hold on to the string as bits come off the tampon and I eagerly swallow them as my eyes roll into the back of my head as the pleasure circuits in my brain start to swell to receive maximum flavor. I begin chewing on the tampon and the inner juices burst out.  I dropped my knees and tears of joy squirt from my eyeballs. I'm snapped back to reality when I hear the cubicle door behind me open.  How had I missed this? I thought for sure I was alone in the bathroom. I quickly swallowed the tampon and slurped the tampon string like a cooked spaghetti. We maintain eye contact in silence.  I place my pointer finger to my red lips. The girl nods and slowly re-enters her cubicle and I hear her door locking. I take the opportunity and clean my mess and leave the bathroom. I hand in my letter of resignation shortly after and take the bus home. Once a time I sexually please myself and scream into my pillar for a few hours and then lie in bed wondering what human flesh tastes like. What an exciting day.  You lost your job over that one. Well, at least you quit. Just to eat a tampon? Man. Do you like collecting them or something? That's can't tell people this.  Like how many do you have in a box or something? Don't talk to me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, imagine chewing it. Man, it's sucked up all the juices. It'd be like a crispy outer and then liquidy. Oh, this reminds me of Taylor. How he used to love. Shit. Used to love growling out. When they were on their rags. What? And then we even blood clot chunks he used to say. Bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo. It cheated them. Oh. What? Yes, that's real. What?   I don't know. What blood clot things?  And he said he chew them. Hey, James, how are you? Shit, are you guys in the middle of the podcast? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Sorry, sorry, everyone for interrupting. No worries, brother. I'll chat to you after. What? Anyway, that was real. It was a real thing. That was a real story. I saw him. And I'm pretty sure.  They won't go in. You were there about him.  Loose dude. Yeah, he was a loose cannon that guy. He was the one who first got us into how to try a cocaine. Charlie Charlie. And he's the guy had a competition with who could jizz on their face. The fastest Michael one. Is there any Julien Woods? Is there any Julien Woods? Oh yeah, you always forget about a little Julien, don't we? Ha, ha, ha, ha. All right. Diary entry number 98 from Julien Tennyson Woods from Ashgrove. We got a new gang member today. I had to see if he was hectic enough to join. So we made him drink a whole spoon or a beer in one go at the Ashgrove Tabin. He down the whole thing. It was so sick. Now there's three people in our gang and we can try and expand our territory beyond the Ashgrove Tabin car park on a one fifty dollars on what's called the pokies and I fucked it. She are you. That sounds like Julien. That's that's our Julien. That's our Julien for sure. Oh, it's great to see. Well, we got a pretty massively awesome episode, by the way.  Another successful hunt. We did it. We got questions.   It's very motivating. We're seeing all these comments or these likes. So if you can't support us financially, the the only way that you calm. Just want you guys to like the video. And if you can't think of a comment, just comment the best. It's so good seeing all the numbers going up every week, every week. It's like the next last podcast is the best one now.   And I know that 30% of you aren't subscribed. And that's okay. Look, I'm just saying to those of you this week listening right now who are able to, if you can subscribe really easily, if you're just on your phone and red buttons within sight, just click it. Just get a little click and click the thumbs up. That's it. That's all we want. That's it. I love the podcast though. Fuck.  We what we would be like 10 comments. I probably more now. I think I've seen a few. All right. Just remember guys with we're seriously considering this. So if you live in Brisbane, just comment. Yes, I live in Brisbane and I would attend the live podcast. So we can know numbers. I think at least two or three people said they'd fly from Sydney. Yeah.  That would be so embarrassing, but at least it would make our slow clap sound. Cool. Yeah. All slow up together. Yeah. So yeah, basically the cabinet leaders had a bit of hearsay hearsay behind closed doors behind closed doors. Question time. Question time. I'm feeling fine. Catch. Well, you're good at the weasel off. Let's do our best one. Matt, you do your best one. Oh, I'm sorry. You gotta watch out for that coffee hits the back of your throat. It hurts too much. Oh, he's cute. I've never seen him do that. All right. The king of wheeze. The wheeze champion steps up to the podium. Two, one. Too much. Before we get into the questions, did you say you have something from that?  For me? Oh. It's your lucky day. If you can guess it, you got three guesses. If you can guess it, then we'll tell you what it is. If not, you have to go and get it. I have no idea what it could be. First guess is? No, it's not an arm. She liked that. Guess again. No, it's not an arm.  And it felt the air on me. Why didn't it make a noise? I don't know.  Did you put it in the wrong way? Look. You gotta be close to it. I'm gonna press it up next time. You gotta press it up next time. Yeah. I'll have to find a sustainable... You gotta get it in there. So it does need a fair bit of pressure behind it. You're gonna play around with it a bit. I'm trying to find it. It's pretty much pressed up on your asshole, then. Did you feel that? No, I didn't feel that.   I don't want to say anything, because you're gonna say that's a guess. Is it... a... Is it a free trial to the website? No. You have to go to the freezer and collect it and bring it out. Oh, no. You gotta present for me. From you. Well, us, really.  You got a present from us. It's a present from us. It occurred in the shops. Like, it started in the shops. Top left corner. In the little bag.  Top free, free, that dickhead. It's left. On the left, just grab the bag. Let's see his reaction.  Just get it. Bring it here. It's in a bag. Come on. Just bring it over before you have a look at it. Just bring it over before you have a look at it.  It's not chocolate mousse. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. I had chocolate mousse last night. It's a matter of perspective. I shout it out. It's still chocolate mousse. Bring it here. I want to see it. I want to see if it's frozen yet. Can you bring it here? Fuck.  Every...  Bring it here. What is it?  Oh, my God.  Oh, it's still squeezy. Squeeze it a bit. All right. That's good now. Thank you. It doesn't smell when it's cold. Yeah, the cold kills the smell. Oh, God. Oh, my God.  Wait! No! Wait, wait, wait! Wait! Speed is our friend! Nah, it's not going to work. It is! Man, it's so hard to play music from your arse. Fuck. Oh, that's why you farted.  Yeah, I think you need more air, because it's popping. Yeah, I reckon so don't do the squeeze like when you hold it and it just comes out slowly. Let it all out. Let it all out.  You all right? Okay. I'm a bit flustered. Yeah. Okay. I guess that leads us to our next segment. I guess that leads us to some questions that you guys have asked. Now remember with the questions, if you want your question asked, comment it on the YouTube channel, on our YouTube channel, Marty Mockel for the actual on this video, and whichever questions get the most likes by everyone there, the ones we ask. And if we don't answer it, just keep asking every week. We will get there eventually. We just can't spend the whole hour answering questions. Do you know what I mean? So if you miss out, just keep commenting, Michael. Our podcast has gone from a half hour length to an hour. Yeah, and now we struggle to get it all in an hour. We might have to change it to three hours. Oh, dude. Michael's got a G-spot happening, Matt. But I'm not using my fingers. I'm just going to use the chair.   But if he touches his G-spot or uses fingers, it can quickly turn to pain. So he's reluctant to do that at the moment.  Oh. Yeah, that good? It's tiring. It's a different way to do it. It's like sex. It's worth it, though. Matt Brown. I have a question. It's from me.  Tomorrow is the website content. We can get a bit scat-pony. And we're going to do the throwing. What's the... Oh. Extreme throwing. See, throw takes step back. Extreme catch. Throw takes step back. So you throw a catch and take a step back until you drop it and whoever drops it gets the object thrown at them. And we're going to do a frozen poo. For fuck's sake. My poo.  I'll play catch with your poo, if you want. All right.   I'll get Esther to hold the bag open for me. All right, question. First question is from Justin. Bradford. What does Marty say at the start of every German segment translated to English? Yeah, it does actually. It's like, oh my love. It's like, oh my...   Like that. Like it doesn't translate literally to oh my god, but it's similar meaning. Like that. It's like an expression, I guess. Oh my god. Next question is from son Goku. Did your parents know you were the best when you were kids or did they think you were weirdos with brain diseases? I reckon they thought I was better. Now they think I'm probably the best.  Yeah, I think my parents would have been like, fuck, what happened here? I've said that like fucking. That's like my claim to fame is just like every podcast. I was school captain, so I'm fine. But yeah, Marty was like... I always overheard my mom saying to Dad, why won't it turn off? Talking about me. Wow, you were considered it. Oh man, yeah, I just... Whenever I picture Marty as a kid, I picture him and the deaf boy. And when that like, once I think of that, I just go, all right, he was proper fucked. There's a story in our earlier podcasts about something that I did.  Like, it's quite mean. Yeah, quite evil. But yeah, I guess go find it. Do you want me to tell them? I can't even remember how much detail we gave. But yeah, basically, he used to come over on an ounce and I'd be like, oh, do you want an apple juice? And I'd get a glass of water and put an apple in it and then hand it to him. And he, like, we're completely straight faced and he'd just be like... and be real polite and not even say anything and just pretend, go along with it and pretend that it was juice. And then I did some other things. Got him into trouble a lot. He drew dicks all over his book and I was convinced him that the teacher would think it was hilarious. So we went and showed the teacher with a big smile and his face got sent straight to the principal's office. He did have a bike once, but... Yeah, well, that wasn't just me. I'm not taking full blame for that. He did lose a bike.  Not just left it on the railroad train. Next question is from Cristiano Ronaldo's fans. Apparently his fans are fans of podcasts. Yeah, that makes sense. I want to ask Michael. It's in broken English, so I'll try and make it old. That'd be good. I'll make it better. I want to ask Michael, why don't you have any pets? Do you not like living things? It's responsibilities. Like, it's fucking... I love Bosley. I love holding him.  Like, when I'm with him, I will, but it's just too hard, all right? Like, I'll get a fish. It'll die. I would play it's too hard, even sometimes. As happy as I am now to have Bosley. Yeah, it's not... Having a dog through your 20s is like, fucking, it's inconvenient at times. Can't just... Can't be spontaneous anymore. You know, you need to always think ahead. But obviously, I would never change. Like, I can see, if you get a dog like Bos, you would definitely take Bos over not having a dog.  He's not really a dog. Yeah. I wish he was more cuddly. That's the only thing that annoys me. Yeah, but if he was cuddly... Yeah, you get over it, you're right. It's the perfect... It leaves you wanting more. Yeah. Walks away, makes you want more. And then when you do get it, it's like, it's like Christmas morning kind. Yeah, it is good. But yeah, I don't have any pets. I think I had sea monkeys last year. And that's about it. I reckon some rats. Nah, that's Connor. Connor loves his rats. I wonder how many rats he's got now. I know, I know. I know she still does. But they're pretty cool. They're like home rats. No, awesome. They're fun. Yeah, they sit on your shoulders. Yeah, they just crawl over you. A lot of people found it really weird, but I thought they were cool. Yeah. And then you got to train them as well. It's just, it's not on.   All right. Next question is from Jose Martinez. Marty, Michael, will you ever be able to find Matt's first ever diary entry? I'd say so. I'd be in there somewhere. I haven't even, I don't even know if they're in chronological order. I just sort of pick them out as I find them from his diary and read them out. But yeah, his first diary entry, that would be, I might try and find that and just have a read count. Next question is from Jacob Dickerson. What situation in life makes you really uncomfortable? Is there anything in situations in life that make you uncomfortable? Yeah, I can think of one thing.  What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Push it in, push it in. I'm pushing it in. I'm pushing it in. You can't! Oh, I'm liking it. A little more air.  I'm liking it. Get it in there. I like that. I miss the recorder. I miss the recorder. Well, you need a little pokey stick to go with it.  I'm so close to it. This is what it feels like to get sexually assaulted.  I can press charges. So you didn't like that one? Was that too close? All right. Moving on. Forget. By the way, these vapes, we've got our weed website open, and these are about $3.75, so they're a little bit expensive.   And that happens. That happens nowadays. Yeah. So what situation in life makes you really uncomfortable? I know Marty's is running into like parents that have kids he's taught. Oh, my God. Because I was there.  You have to pretend to be like another person.  And of course I couldn't be myself and just a fix whenever I wanted to because people don't want to leave the guy doing that alone with their children. So I had to be a completely different person then all of a sudden one day when we started making videos, I was like, like some people that I was coaching and I used to coach like in New Farm, these are quite wealthy people.  They started seeing the videos and they're like, like this was just back with a social experiment. Yeah.   He has this one guy that has seen him out about it. Oh, that's not for talking about. In case he ever got back to him. Yeah. I'm sorry. If anyone from that, I'm sorry about that. I had to get out of there and I will not talk to any of you guys ever again. That's it. That world's gone. But it's nice now. I can just be myself whenever I want around any new person, anyone we work with.    Like obviously there were clients that I did love. Yeah, of course. The people you love. There was some rad kids and rad parents. Yeah.  Yeah. It's like enthusiastic, really over the top happiness. It's just, it kills your soul. And it's not anyone that I knew there that was a bad person or anything.  So it's not you. It's definitely me, but I just don't want to deal with that.  I don't want to say to you, yeah, we'll be at restaurants now and then we're going right now, right now, leave. Michael, go. And it's like seriously, I'm rich family that he used to coach. And now I do this. Why do I keep doing my belt up? Dude, it's so rough looking at it. That's why I don't talk to them anymore. That's why. That's what you want out when we see him in restaurants. Do you want any more of that?  I'd say what makes me uncomfortable? Michael gets really uncomfortable when Julian is accidentally rude to waiters and waitresses.    He's actually got nice manners. Yeah, we can when he wants to. Yeah, he's good.  Fuck, why isn't there like two more peppercones on my pepper?  And then like it's... With Michael though, it is easy to embarrass Michael in public.   Like he'll be like...  And then he just like puts his head down and I'm just left with everyone looking at me.  I always think about that when I sit down at tables. I was trying to position myself in a way where I can do it as I please and not have any repercussions. You did it great at Mexican the other night. We had a table behind us that looked like just one big table of social justice warriors and they just looked like they'd hate any type of us that was near him and Marty just said watch this and just farted straight away and I just had to look in the other direction.  They sort of put their heads up and all looked at each other and they just didn't say anything. A lot of the time it's just silence and like some people are like angry but no one's said anything yet.  Then one girl after the third or fourth fart turns around and she's like can you please stop?  I can just sort of... ...multiple into a spinny... ...fast through tomatoes and then I'll go... I would have tried it! Okay, this is a very friendly one. All in green! All in green! All in green range, all in green range, all in green range, such a strange world. Everything in green area, everything in green area. Which means everything's okay. So if you came in, came home. So it's like everything's in the clear for us. You've gone and had a check up at the doctor. Everyone's really nervous because they found all these suspicious alarms and they do the test. You get the news, you come out and you'd say, All in green area. To your family. Oh my God. Beautiful language. One more. Which means you don't have all the cups in the cupboard, which means you don't, you've lost your mind.  If you don't have all your tasselmen shrunk. Next segment.  We got some fun packages this week.  So if you want to send us anything, if you want us to fucking, I don't know, promote something, you've got a product, just send it here. We open everything live on the podcast. We've never opened this before. Could send a bomb.  We've never had vomit. We've never had breast milk. There you go. Two little secrets. And we apparently have had a used tampon. Yeah. We had a used tampon. Oh, do we actually really? Yeah.  We both sniffed it.  It wasn't as bad as.  Like the smell was fine. She had like, I think the tampon was scented. You know, I looked at the podcast and leagues the other day. 96 or I think it's like 98% of people listen to blokes. What? It's crazy.  That's one of the girls I'm going to marry, dude. It's probably Nikki and Sabrina. Two of the biggest fans. There is. So literally 96%. It's crazy. On our instant, on our normal vids, it's what? 50, no, 75, 25. Yeah. Yeah. For the podcast. Because look at what we do. Yeah. All right. Here we go. I'm fucking, I've opened this big package. There's a white box inside. Look at this.  So someone has sent us a megaphone. You know the thing where you're talking to and it makes things louder? So what do you call it a megaphone? Yeah. Yeah. It's a very cool idea. Actually. But buy the biggest and best if you're going to send it to us. No, no, no. The little ones are usually brutal. Easy for pranks. Keep it in. Thank you. Fucking, I should say cut that kind of, but I want my honesty to stay in. We want you guys to see that we make mistakes. Somebody get some batteries. Now this looks good. We're a little black box from where? Methuselah. Methuselah. Methuselah. M-E-T-H-U-S-E-L-A-H. Dear Marty and Michael, here is my product. Handmade, hand stitched with Italian and American leather. All right.  All right. So they've got an Instagram Methuselah leather. Okay. Find them on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Etsy. Thank you so much. And look at this. These leather wallets.  So do I. I actually do need a new wallet. So there's two wallets here. I'll have both of them. This is so good because wallets are always so chunky. And then we got brown one and a blue one. Is that the siren? So we can prank people with that siren. All right. He sent us these leather key rings as well. I'm going to use this for Bosley's walk chain leash. Is that what you call it?  Coasters. Coasters leather coasters. So thank you very much. I'm a sort of lawyer lever.  Handmade. Thank you so much. That never happens these days, Matt. Matt would like some too, guys. We'll give him one of these. Yeah, there you go.  I want that one. All right. All right. I love gifts. That's very good. Gifts of fun. Onto the next segment. Fuck, what have we got left?  That's it.  Can't. All right.   Can't. What I'm going to do, right? I'm going to order an Uber. Then as soon as he says he's confirmed that he's coming, I'm going to call him. Then I'm going to be Arnold fine and tell him, ask him if he's all right, sweet to pick up a pig. Oh, hello, Uber driver. Yep. Oh, hello. My name Arnold. Are you driving to my house? A quick question. I have a three large pig.  An animal pig? I have a three. I have a three large peak at my house.  And then you take a peak to a tram side, drop off a tram side butcher. Okay. You can take one peak. You understand what I mean? One peak. No, no, I understand. Yeah. One animal. Okay. So you take one peak. It's a little bit dirty.  But I put a blanket down for you. Okay. Yeah. So the peak. Large or small one? It's probably 100, 110 kilo. So pretty big. But... No, it's too easy. 100 kilo is too big. I thought a lot. What if the boot, you have room in the boot. I tied a peak. I put a rope around it, a little leg, and it doesn't barely move.  And you take the peak and thrust it out of the butcher. I picked up a lot today. Okay. Well, how about I show you a peak? I show you the peak. And we see... Yeah, you show me. Okay.  Yeah, I'm coming just in one minute. Okay. I'll see you very shortly. We'll see you or go with peak. I'll love you, darling. I'll love you, darling. I'm going to run out and show him Bosley. We need to film this. We're going to film this. Okay. We're going to film this. Okay. There's a peak here.  It's not too warm. You can take her to Chumside Butcher? It's not that. Sorry. You don't... Don't not take her. Okay, okay. Well... Actually, I already mentioned... Oh, God. It's a peak. It's a bark in the peak. Oh, you...  My wife is sick. My wife. That worked out better than I thought it would.  Okay, so the Uber driver rocked up. We'll have the audio and video. The video is pretty hard to see because it's dark here, but we'll put it in to the podcast. And on Spotify, yeah. So basically what happened was we went out there and I tried handing him Bosley saying it was the pig and he said, no, no, we can't take that. And it's pretty awkward. And then I gave him $20 and said thanks. Oh, I'm sorry for wasting your time. And we went. Fuck. Good people. That's the prank call. Very interactive prank call. Yeah, it was different dude. May I just say so? You thought of that yesterday. Very good idea. Poor old Bosley. Struggling to get out of me arms. We...