What steps can autistic people take to avoid the dreaded burnout? That's the topic we're going to be diving into in today's podcast So I've been preparing a session on the co-morbidity which means having two things that are an issue at the same time of eating disorders and autism for the NDTI Which is training a whole bunch of cams. Oh these acronyms Basically, I'm creating a training session for people who work with young people who've got eating disorders and autism And as I was developing that session one of the things I thought it's really important to touch on was self care So for young people who are experiencing co-morbid together eating disorders and autism Actually working out how to look after themselves and stay well and avoid burnout is hugely important to avoid eating disorder relapse And as I was putting those ideas together I thought do you know what a lot more people need to hear about these some of them you'll be aware of that some of them might make you think a little bit these are ideas that could be applied across the ages actually and Would be equally applicable if you're thinking about yourself And I thought about myself a lot as I was putting these together as an autistic adult who does experience burnout if I'm not careful But equally you could use them to help support and guide and care for children young people or indeed adults in Your care, so let's dive in there are six ideas that I'm going to be sharing today Those are Consult list physical well-being Mini and major resets safe spaces to drop the mask connecting with your tribe seeking pleasurable sensory input and Flow Okay, so we're going to explore each of those in turn I'm going to explore them briefly in today's podcast and actually I think Many of them would make whole topics for future podcast So if there's any you'd particularly like me to dive into then do drop me a line So we're going to start with physical well-being As far as I'm concerned when it comes to teaching people the kind of the nuances of looking after their mental health and emotional Well-being that time is kind of wasted if it's not built on a firm foundation of decent physical well-being or at least where we Acknowledging that and making some efforts towards it So I always start with physical well-being and there we're thinking about sleep Are we getting enough and good and regular sleep? That is often a challenge for people who are autistic? She says recording this podcast just before five o'clock in the morning because I can't sleep beyond four ever But yeah sleep can be a challenge for us But thinking about how to get a little bit more get it a bit more regular and I think that is definitely one I will record a whole podcast episode on is improving sleep habits for everyone and sleep hygiene So I'll get that one in the can for you But sleep sleep really really matters when we don't have good sleep then our emotional regulation is poor Our problem-solving is poor and often just even our ability to kind of access our thinking speaking brains Diminishes and just life's a bit rubbish to be honest. So sleep is really really really important And then acts exercise physical activity actually getting up and getting out and getting moving And I tend to try and couple that with getting outside So some exercise and physical activity we might do doesn't take us out and getting out And and being in the world is a really pretty helpful part of that I think and then also diet diet really matters trying to get enough good healthy food is incredibly Important to so that kind of that bedrock of physical well-being if we're eating well We're getting out and we're getting some regular exercise of some kind of input doesn't have to be kind of fancy Exercise with a capital E it might just be getting out and having a walk regularly But getting some activity getting outside and trying to work a little bit on our sleep That will do more for our ability to avoid burnout to stay well mentally and physically than anything else So that's what's right at the top of the list. So that's number one physical well-being The next thing we can do in terms of trying to avoid our autistic Burnout, I think is to build resets into our regular daily and weekly and monthly and yearly Routines so by resets I mean those opportunities for ourselves to try to get right back plumb into what we call the Middle of our window of tolerance the optimal zone that point where we're coping where we feel calm and good and Emotionally regulated and little things aren't going to make us suddenly explode or fall into Crying mess of a heap or what have you we're kind of holding it together and things feel sort of okay So resets can help with this because as we feel ourselves beginning to get to a point of overwhelm Then we can you know press the reset button to try and get ourselves back plumb in the middle of our coping window Essentially, so I think about resets as being like mini resets or major resets So mini resets are the little things that we can do During the course of our normal day just to keep bringing us back to the middle of our ability to cope So these are just little tiny things and they look different for everyone And when it comes to this it's really really important that you or the person you're supporting thinks about what works for you here But the sorts of things that might go in here would be things like breathing strategies taking a mindful moment Calming activities like colouring or knitting or Painting it might be reaching out what sapping a friend or using your social medias to connect with people might be watching silly videos of cats It might be using fidget toys It's anything little essentially that you could do as part of your regular routine and your regular day Just to bring yourself back to a point of coping Really ideal in terms of avoiding Burnout and keeping ourselves well if we do these things proactively rather than reactively So what I mean by that is sometimes we do this stuff because we know it will help as and when we get to the point Where we're beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed, but in fact if instead We can do it ahead and we can just regularly build that in so every morning we do I don't know breathing exercise before we get in the car to go to school say Then that can just help to keep us really regulated and routines and habits are much easier to stick to so It's a it's a good idea to just build them in as part of the regular So that's your mini research these are little things that you're trying to do every day and I would As an autistic person I look to build in these opportunities these little moments Throughout my routine all the time. I'm always looking for for moments of doing that And where my routine can vary quite a lot sometimes it's about associating them with activity So if I'm going to a place and I know I'm going to do lots of social interaction Which really kind of I love it, but it really drains me I'll make sure I'm in the best place before that social interaction starts to happen by taking a moment in my car which is a safe space for me and Either listening to a favorite piece of music and just thinking calm thoughts taking myself to a happy place or I might do breathing exercise So I'm a big fan of box breathing or five finger breathing and I might sit and do that for a moment Just to try and get myself to the point where I'm like okay Okay, I've got this I'm ready and I'm as calm as I can be before I go into that social interaction This means that I need to always build loads of time and for stuff and that's something that's worth bearing in mind for fellow autistic people anyway because if we end up rushing from thing to thing to thing That is when things get more and more stressful and that's true for neurotypical pals as well But just that for those of us who are autistic that kind of things getting more and more stressful on us getting closer and closer To that limit can end up in a total shutdown where we're then not able to speak for days or something like that sometimes So and we kind of want to avoid it a bit more I guess so building in plenty of time Proactively kind of calming getting to that point of reset if we can and then there were like the Major resets those mini resets are sort of things that we weave within the day today And and try to use to just help us kind of keep going and keep relatively calm But then the major resets are those moments when actually we need to sort of almost like take a holiday from life And give ourselves time to like do a proper major reboot.  Whereas the major reset is kind of like system update needs to do a big Kind of update on the files on your computer kind of a thing. So it's it's a bit bigger and Those major research those kind of giving ourselves a moment away from life so that we can just really restore ourselves and You it can feel quite selfish It's taken me a long time in my life to kind of come around to realizing this is really important I've got one a big one coming up in January where I'm going to go Flying for a week So I've been learning to paraglide and I'm going to go on a holiday doing that for a week And that might not sound like a restful thing But I'm with people that I only know a little bit through flying There's no expectations on me in terms of work and life and everything will be looked after for the week So it's a holiday from my normal day-to-day life And I have found those kinds of holidays in the past to be really restorative for me They do feel a bit selfish while my family are at home working and doing school and all that sort of thing But I come back refreshed and able to cope and for me the key thing is I don't end up in hospital So that's really important. I managed to keep my eating disorder at bay I managed to keep going with life. I managed to manage basically So I'm actually a really big advocate for it and would encourage if you're able to take these sorts of breaks from life Yourself to do so Other ways you can do these kind of major research don't necessarily have to Fly out to South Africa and get on a paragliding wing for a week There's loads of other stuff that you might do so one a simple one is just to take a duvet day Giving ourselves permission as an autistic person every now and then to say I'm not really going to manage for much longer and proactively taking that day where we take all the pressure off We don't have to be anywhere be anyone do anything. It's just about actually recovering We need to be careful not to let those days stretch into weeks that can lead to depression But actually a day. This is again something I will do Not irregularly just taking a day where I will be in bed with a book and not a lot else As little stimulation as possible not really connecting with or talking to anyone And it it really really helps with with pressing that reset button and that might again look a bit different for you Well, the person that you're supporting but that just a day off from life Can make a huge difference to our ability then to re-engage and carry on Generally just time alone can be helpful for us sometimes we just need a break from all the people and a little bit of space and having a Day or more where it's just us on our own And something as simple as just going for a really long walk could help with that Or engaging in another kind of activity that might be a solo activity Or it might be alongside someone with whom you feel completely and utterly sort of safe and able to drop them Ask and be yourself Other things you can do to help with those sort of major life resets if you're not able to physically take time out And I appreciate not everyone can and would be to just reduce Expectations on yourself. So actually be taking a look at the to-do list taking a look at the diary and working out to what can you say? No, what can come out what can be left? What doesn't really need to be done what can be handed over other things that just can be deleted to reduce those? expectations And also thinking about where we might be able to unmask so to stop having to keep up the kind of Neurotypical pretence and doing normal things and trying to interact with anyone in normal ways We're going to think about removing the mask a little bit later on so that's kind of major research So you've got your mini research, which are little things you can do throughout the day Just to help you continue to manage and cope and then you've got your major research Which is when things are needing a little bit more of a space and a break from life in order to Make sure that we're able to continue to engage and again with the major research We can plan them in as and when we think right okay things have got to a point where I can't manage anymore So for me a duvet day will often be triggered by the fact that I can feel myself going and that if I don't Proactively take it it's likely to take itself through the form of migraine, which is what tends to happen for me But you can also like you know if you look at your diary and know that you're going to have had a really intensive week or month Planning in a day or a few days can be really helpful And again So like with my little paragliding holiday knowing that I've got that to look forward to and I'll be able to let go and relax Is one of the things that will help me through the Christmas season, which is one I personally find Especially difficult for many reasons and that's true for many people who are either autistic Or have mental health issues of which of course I have both the joy Okay, so we thought about resets We thought about our physical well-being and the next thing which I just touched on there was finding safe spaces to drop the Mask so this is about looking after ourselves by knowing that there are places and Faces with whom we can truly be ourselves. And so Many of us who are autistic spend much of our day today either subconsciously or consciously Trying to do normal It's sort of forced on us by the fact that we live in a neurotypical world That has certain expectations of us and if we want to engage with it We have to adapt our natural way of behaving to kind of fit in with that world It might not always be that way, but it is that way for many of us right now this is especially true for kids who are going to school actually and It will be different for some children than others depending on the environment of their school But for like 90% of kids who are attending school There will be a huge degree of masking going on every single day again true of many many Workplaces for adults who are listening in who go to work and this may be true for you as well But I think workplaces are beginning to change and also as adults we've often not always often had a bit more Autonomy in choosing where we work and thinking how we work and we might have a bit of Flexibility to sometimes work from home and stuff like that But school is is you know bit bit less flexible in that regard for most children. No, there's some amazing practice out there But so it's particularly worth thinking about this if you are or you're supporting an autistic child Who is attending school so being able to just allow Your normal kind of ticks traits ways of talking Things that you might naturally do in terms of stimming and self-regulating and providing yourself sensory input all those things Just letting yourself just be that's easier said than done actually when you're used to Doing normal all the time you're used to being who other people need you to be and you can almost lose sight of Who you would be what you would do if you weren't doing You know normal and so it can take a little while to reconnect with but thinking about well Who can you be with and where can you go? You know where you would feel perfectly perfectly safe just to to be your unfettered self You're brilliant wonderful perfect self But perhaps the self that might make people curious or point and stare in kind of normal Circumstances and finding those spaces is super super helpful and it's really helpful if home of course can be One of those spaces and that can allow us that little bit of space every day Connected to that is the idea the next idea which is connecting with our tribe and so knowing of and connecting with Other people who experience the world in a similar way And people who get it people to whom you might offload to people to whom you can form Friendships relationships on the level that makes sense to both of you and who really Accept you for who you are so that will mean that perhaps you can be dropping the mask But it will also mean that you can conduct your friendship in a really open honest and authentic way And you're not having to constantly adapt how you enter that relationship in order to suit societal norms But rather that for example You have a friendship which is very very honest and Frank and open and you can just tell each other exactly what you're thinking And people aren't going to get offended and and that sort of thing That kind of finding of tribe sometimes will happen online perhaps you're part of an online community or it can be face-to-face there might be groups or clubs or Places that you go where you feel that you truly belong. So this is about in terms of that self-care. This is You know, so so the safe spaces was about going to places where we feel we can be ourselves And the connecting with tribe is about being with faces either Literally or kind of virtually online being with faces being with people who totally accept us on where we feel that We absolutely belong and we get that sense of connection That's so so good for our well-being and can really help us to avoid that kind of feeling of burnout and gives us a bit of a break From doing normal The final couple of ideas are about trying to make ourselves feel really good So we're going to think about seeking pleasurable sensory input and then finding our flow. So Seeking pleasurable sensory input is just about doing stuff that feels good like actually we as Autistic people often have really heightened senses not everybody does but many many of us do and and that can work to our Disadvantage a lot of the time we can get overwhelmed by sights and sounds and smells and so on But then there are some that we'll really connect with that just feel or smell or sound so good And they give us that Amazing kind of almost euphoric feeling like some people might get from taking a drug or something And so one of your acts of self-care might be to really indulge in the things that make you feel that way and they're totally Different for everyone. Um, so one person might get a real huge deep pleasure from Taking a bath with scented candles and oils and stuff and for another person that might be a total sensory nightmare So it's about working out what feels good for you and then doing more of it And within that little bracket And I would also include just using your stems So if you have ways that you sort of naturally do things many of us have sort of tapping or flapping or different ways that we might Kind of self-soothe and help ourselves that we might suppress a lot of the time because people think it's weird But just allowing yourself to do those things that feel good Yeah, so they feel good so do them basically and there are lots of things that we would naturally go to in terms of Things that that feel nice that we might sort of prevent ourselves doing day today But when we do them they just make us feel nice. So that's good essentially it sounds so simple But you know it really makes a difference and again You might actually build little windows in your regular kind of routine or day when you're gonna seek that sensory input Maybe there's a few minutes of the beginning or the end of the day when you can You know do the thing that I don't know brings your sense of smell alive and makes you feel Fantastic, and it evokes really happy warm feelings for you finding a moment in the day when you can lean into that and really enjoy it is Is something that can make a difference day today and then the final idea is about Finding our flow and and flow is that amazing state when we are so fully engaged with an activity I love it's my favorite thing when we're so fully engaged with an activity that we lose all sense Of space and time and stuff So this is when you're doing something and you're so engrossed in it that suddenly you look up and it's dark outside Or you suddenly notice that you totally forgot to eat your lunch because you were so engrossed in the activity So deep was your connection with what you were doing and those activities those things where we find our flow Are like a break from life because we're so engrossed in that activity We're just our whole self is 100% there It's like the most mindful thing that we could ever choose to do and there were loads of different things that might do that for different people For some people it might be reading for some it might be gaming for some it might be writing or creating art It there's no like judgment attached to what activity That is but just trying to find opportunities to find that flow For autistic people often that flow that feeling of being totally engrossed and wrapped up by a topic Might come alongside our special interests. So many of us are blessed with that that kind of Hyper focus or monotropism is it they is all these technical words But basically we sometimes like proper latch on to a topic We're really interested in it Maybe a lot more than anyone else in our lives is interested in it But we're really interested in it and giving ourselves the opportunity to dive as deeply as we want to into that topic Gives us a break from everything else around us and again can be really really helpful in avoiding burnout In order to help ourselves get to that state of flow We might just think about when does it happen before so what were we doing and where were we? What's the kind of environment that we need and how can we like let other people around us know that? Actually, we don't want to be disturbed because the one downside that can happen with flow and particularly if you are Supporting or caring for a young person where you're trying to encourage them to do this What can sometimes happen is that they're deep in their flow and then we're expecting them to transition straight to another activity Because it's time to do that or our plans suggest that we need to go somewhere else or be doing something else and actually instead of growing Hey, you know, let's have three hours where you're going to just do this thing and that's fine And knowing what the boundaries are can be really helpful trying to transition from sort of deep flow to really anything else Might have the opposite of this helpful effect because if we have to transition quickly that can be really really stressful and can instantly Tip us into a kind of feeling of overwhelm and big feelings and be rather challenging to cope with so flow is amazing But just make sure that it is protected and boundary read and that a rapid transition will not be Expected all transitions would always be well prepared for So we go there are I'm sure like hundreds of things that you might think to add to this list But these were the things that I was thinking about autistic self-care and I was thinking in particular What are the skills? What are the ideas that young people who have both eating disorders and autism? What would they need to learn in order to try to keep and stay well and avoid burnout and avoid eating disorder relapse? So I was thinking about their physical well-being Building in those mini and major resets finding safe spaces where they could drop the mask Connecting with their drug tribe and finding that feeling of belonging seeking pleasurable sensory input and maybe using their stims and Then finding the state of flow and perhaps engaging with special interests. I Really hope that there were some ideas within here that felt helpful for you or for someone that you're supporting And I'd love to hear what you do in terms of self-care as well You can find me in all the usual places YouTube and Twitter and Facebook and so on and I'm at Pookie H and now Now you can also find me on tiktok because I've decided to get down with the kids literally actually my daughters Want to use tiktok? I'm a bit terrified of it because I've never even logged into it before and I decided that I needed to learn How it worked so I'm going there first so you can find me there where I am at Pookie Night Smith So yeah, talk to me. Let me know. How do you exercise self-care? What would you add to the list that I've shared today? Okay, until next time over and out