Welcome to Dear to Dream. This is Debbie Daschinger, and I'm excited for today's show. James Redfield is back and after his last time on the show, he had mentioned about coming back on, and I don't think either of us could have predicted how the affairs of the world and humanity would go. And so as it turns out, it was actually very auspicious request. So I'm so glad we're going to be doing this. I'll tell you a little bit about the show, Dear to Dream podcast. I've been around for 13 years doing this, started out in radio and parlayed over to syndication for radio and podcast. It's been nominated for two People's Choice podcast awards, for a webby award, and we are rated that in the top 100 in all of the USA in self-improvement, as well as in many, many countries throughout the world. So it's just wonderful to know that you are all listening and resonating. And thanks for when you write in. I read everything. Appreciate you so much. Today's show is really going to be based around the 12 spiritual insights for current times. And this is out of the book Celestine prophecies and its sequel as well. New York Times bestseller who holds a record for being a bestseller for more than most people ever and also holds the vision of a conscious future. I, Debbie Daschinger, am a certified coach and I run a visibility hub. I show you how to write a page, turn a book. I also have a company that takes authors books to a guaranteed international bestseller and I teach the ultimate visibility formula. How spiritual entrepreneurs can get booked on radio and podcast and get massive results like filling workshops, selling books, finding their clients and their tribe and their community. I pull back the curtain so you can get really great exposure for your really great message. If you'd like to find out more or get some free tools, go to Debbie Daschinger.com. That's D-E-B-B-I-D-A-C-H-I-N-G-E-R.com. I want to thank Dr. Dean here in Access Consciousness for sponsoring this show. They do beautiful energy healing work out into the world. So anywhere you're located, you can find them, their classes, their products, their services, their facilitators. It's Dr. Dean here, H-E-E-R.com and Access Consciousness.com. My question to you is, do you want to hold the vision for a conscious future? I'm hearing a resounding yes over here. My guest, James Redfield, author of the New York Times bestseller, The Celestine Prophecy says that something beautiful is happening. The world is moving from receiving spiritual insights to living in the consciousness of our lives. James is currently on the Celestine Prophecy Inspiration Tour at this very new time, and he shares the 12 insights from the Celestine series. Originally, James studied Eastern philosophies, including Taoism and Zen, while majoring in sociology. He received the master's degree in counseling and spent more than 15 years as a therapist, but he left his job because he wanted to write full time. Who knew? And he published The Celestine Prophecy, one of the most successful self-published books of all times. Redfield also wrote the sequel, The Tenth Insight, Holding the Vision, which also became a bestseller, and those two books spent a combined 74 weeks in the New York Times bestseller list. Several of his published works followed, including the film of The Celestine Prophecy. And to learn more about him, you can go to CelestineVision.com. And James Redfield, I welcome you to the Dare to James show. It's so great to have you back. Thank you. Nice to be with you, Debbie. Yeah. And I appreciate your dedication. James is experiencing an outage right now. And so just to join us today, he went into his car and is doing this conversation for the car. So thank you for I really appreciate you showing up because I feel like this conversation is so important. Absolutely. And only for you and your audience, because I know that you understand about consciousness and I'm sure your audience does. I think it's a unique time in the world. I think that in spite of all the shutdowns and and discord in a lot of ways, there's an underlying movement toward expanded consciousness on the planet. This may turn out to be the reset, the sort of in your house with yourself breakthrough moment, you know, where it goes completely viral. But I think there's a there's a true awakening happening. It's been happening for a while. But right now it's a unique situation. And we've talked about this, that there is there are three generations, huge generations right now that are that are all reaching out with questions for a higher answers and spiritual answers, really. And it's the baby boomers who are getting older. They want to know what their legacy is going to be. What what have I left the world? How can I leave something that helps? You know, a struggling world and in many ways, the their children, the millennials are reaching the key astrological age of 38 through 42, where, you know, they they say, OK, I've had children. I've I've I've found a way to make a living. But what do I really want to do with my life? You know, what what is what is the true meaning of of stepping into my voice and my message in the world? So that's that's a higher question.   You know, what how do I do this thing called life? How can I be an individual on my own? So you've got this huge majority of souls on the planet asking the higher questions that along with there has never been more people ever in the world meditating, taking their spiritual consciousness seriously. And what you see is, you know, a kind of quiet searching, which I believe is about to become very, very conscious of itself, in my view, in search of a higher consciousness that can heal the many divisions in the world. How have you been navigating? Because you're somebody who travels all the time. You're really out there in a very public way. You do workshops and now that all of that has been stopped. How are you managing what you do and what you offer to the world and how is it for you? Well, it certainly was a shock to everyone. But, you know, we we do a lot online now. We're actually finishing up this construction of in of it. See, on celsingvision.com. Anybody can read about it there. It's it's in process. It's really probably only a few weeks away. And so I'll be doing everything online for a while. Does it replace the yumminess of taking a trip and meeting new people and all that goes with that? But we're trying to use technology and do live events just like we would on the road on Zoom and other networks. So it's it's pretty amazing that that at least we have that vehicle to stay in touch and to really talk about. You know, this this higher level of inspiration that's happening out there, people who want to do something more with their lives and and are finding a way to do it. Before we deep dive into the insights, I love what you shared, and especially that you were breaking down the age groups because I think this question and somebody did write in a question. And I'm just taking a guess that this is a younger person. So it's beautiful because we're introducing people at a younger age to your work. One of the listeners was looking at the promotions coming up of the gas saw you loved it. Went out and got your book and said she had ordered it, the Celestine prophecies. But she said before she got it, she was wondering what the prophecies were or if the book was about prophecies. And so I want to let you answer that question. I know the answer, but you take it. Were there actual Celestine prophecies? Well, you know, we're in the in the first book, the Celestine prophecy and then the sequels and therefore now, by the way. And so we're we're covering what I call insights. It's a journey. The book, of course, is a journey. It's a way of just letting yourself go to a novel and let yourself go into a spiritual search and and and finding the energy of of, you know, those accomplishments. And I mean, you just ride along on an adventure tale in the consciousness. So the book really is covers nine insights. The other sequels cover the three more. So. So we have have twelve insights all together, which are, in my view, steps in the consciousness. And when I say consciousness, I mean a consciousness of the higher aspect of life, the spiritual, the the opening of the heart, all that goes with it that goes on in life. That's a part of the life journey. So it's being consciousness and have insight into what is going on in the on the planet with all of our lives that we can can utilize and become aware of and therefore have a greater meaningful journey through life. So it's it's about finding that inspiration and energy that we all can find and tune in to the to the way the world really works. And you know, as we've talked about, I'm not making this up. These are these are not James Redfield's you know, happy insights in the life.  The the long march is a hundred years old now. The of the human potential movement, which was an organized kind of spontaneous debate and discussion that has lasted a hundred years about what is what is the real human potential? What is our greater consciousness that we can discover? And I believe this long march toward coming to consensus about life has has arrived in our time. OK, so I think that let me ask you. So with everything going on today, then these insights you're talking about, are they becoming abilities for us to be able to stay at a higher consciousness like consistent and ongoing? That's right. You know, what when we get insight, we become aware of. And when we explore the insights deeper and deeper, what happens is that we have the ability to maintain a higher, more inspired consciousness in life. And it's something that is again, dawning on the human race is this consensus of how to do this. It's never been easier to move into a higher consciousness and to get all the rewards of that higher creativity, higher, higher self confidence, a easier way to manifest things in your life. Life is not supposed to be this hard. And which is what we're learning, right?  Or can we break through into something that's much more inspiring and actually works and helps our individual journeys and contributions unfold? Your first Celestine insight, numero uno number one is noticing synchronicity. That's right. And synchronicity, of course, is the experience of meaningful coincidences. In other words, that certain events happen in our lives that look, appear and feel like it's beyond chance, that this connection, this message coming to me, this meeting of the love of our lives, or this accomplishment is something that several events came together to allow this to happen in our lives. So it feels like a kind of destiny unfolding. So the experience is this meaningful coincidence is happening that extends our life in some way, makes us larger, our journey more inspiring, clarifies what we want to do in life, solves a problem. It's built in, in my view, the fabric of life because everybody has had a mysterious coincidence happen to them. Yeah, as I said, so everybody has these large moments.  As I said, you remember those, you know, it was a destiny feeling to it. But, you know, when we move into not just not just believing that the synchronicities are happening, but move into a kind of dedication to exploring these synchronicities. And what happens is that synchronicity is the main evidence, really, that there's a spiritual design to the world. Because we get help, you know, if it's random, if everything is nothing but materialistic movement of matter.    There's, you know, if that's true, then synchronicities would not happen. And the people that hold that worldview and want to keep it would say, well, you're just making up the meaning. You know, this is just a random event, but you find meaning in it arbitrarily. Well, the fact is, there is the meaning that we derive. And that meaning that we derive is evidence because it leads our lives forward. It's evidence that we get help in life. In other words, there's a spiritual design. And when we figure out that spiritual design, life goes easier. Mysterious coincidences happen to open doors of opportunity for us. And it's spectacular when we, when we just, you know, step back and remember all the great synchronicities in our lives. There's a greater force at work here. I'm wondering how people can learn to notice synchronicities so they keep their awareness fully operative in the present. So how can they, it almost sounds like a matrix is going on when there's synchronicities because they may seem very independent and separate. And yet when you're in the other side of it, you look back, it is without a doubt something amazing has been woven on our behalf. It really is a beautiful gift. How can people be mindful or in the present or aware of this so they could actually invite more in? Well, we can develop the ability to expect synchronicity. Now, in other words, always, always have a kind of alertness about your attitude toward life to notice the little things and notice these events that maybe didn't pay much attention to. You know, the synchronicities are can be very subtle. So with an alertness that we sort of remind ourselves of, let's be alert. You know, let's walk through life a little bit slower, have an ending, very alert to the possibility of a synchronicity and the person that we're walking in the door of a restaurant beside or who's sitting across next to us on the table. The person that happens to be riding on an airplane in the seat beside us. All, you know, these can be these possible synchronicities. If we're alert, all it takes is a conversation and strike up a conversation. You know, what's going on with your life? And suddenly you might get a message that is it's a real eye opener. It the feeling always is that they were this was destined to happen. This message that I got at this moment extended my journey in life and toward what clarification of what I want to do, maybe. So it's the ability to stay alert. Then also is the other part of that equation is we have to be bold. You know, we have to learn to strike up conversations with strangers. Now, you know, this is this is in the in the shutdown that, you know, we we have a situation where we're we're separated from each other, right? But even then, maybe that's just practice. Learn to, you know, find the synchronicities online or make makes find some way to strike up a conversation with the people that cross your past, the more that we can be bold. If you see, you know, countless times, you know, I've I've noticed that there's there's kind of orbiting that happens between people where, you know, you go into a shopping mall, for instance, and there's someone there's several people coming in as you come in.    I saw this person three times. Well, that's just the beginning. You know, we have to learn to strike up a conversation with people. And in some areas, it's it's easier than others. But we this is this is very important because these these are openings that are trying to happen in our lives. This help trying to be given to us in the meeting of our goals. That's really profound. I have had many synchronic events, many, many, many. I could give so many examples and they've all been beautiful. And I am seeing something in a new light listening to you right now. So I'm going to tell you a little secret. So there's an awareness I'm having speaking to you. I am realizing I had a synchronistic event during covid and right now. Right before covid, my boyfriend and I broke up, which was horrible, right? To go into covid, like really, really alone and also part broken. I was not complete with that relationship. I was still very much in love with him and and shocked because I feel like we had so much going for us. But it was what it was and many, many weeks went by. And then about six weeks in or so, we just started speaking as friends. And at some point decided to do a hike with our dogs. And all of that to say way fast forward to right now. And we're back together. We're completely back together. And it's actually been this amazing blessing from covid. But the synchronistic part, the meaningful coincidence, if you will, is that honestly, I don't believe this ever would have happened if covid had not happened. We probably would have just moved on with our lives. And because we all had to remain so separate and we were both single and separate. At some point, we just inherently started to have conversation, which led to friendship, which led to at some point. You know, and it took a while for us to do a lot of healing, but to choose a new beginning for us. And I'm grateful. I'm really grateful. Well, that's a great story. And there are just so many synchronicities that happen once you start believing that they're there, that they're coming. And again, become alert. Just keep yourself alert to these.  But it's, you know, the what happens with synchronicity is it's there in in several roles. I mean, it can if all you have is a problem. If you're expecting a synchronicity, a solution to show up and you're exploring every every possibility, then what happens is you'll you'll find that doorway, that answer, that solution to what's going on. And and, you know, that's there's a lot of people displaced economically right now. A lot of people have problems that they're having to grapple with. And, you know, we just have to I think it's important to learn that the design of the world is actually to offer help. But we have to break through this abject materialism, you know, this secularism that there's nothing going on in the world that except, you know, what we invent. Now, there's there's there's a destiny that that is waiting for all of us if we step into these and take advantage of these synchronicities, we may have. There's a quote from you regarding insight. Number one, James, which is setting a field for synchronicity is a matter of putting yourself in a particular state of mind. It is easy to think about synchronicity intellectually. But unless you enter the state of mind where your prayer field will help, all you will do is glimpse the coincidences every once in a while. The prayer field. Oh, my God. So talk about how do we enter the prayer field? How do we use the prayer field? Is there a process? Well, that's interesting. Yeah, that's that's that's an insight into the world. It's it's later on that we'll talk about it in greater length at some point, but it's about using your intention. In other words, one of the things that we we're learning spiritually and proving to ourselves is that intention matters. Setting an intention for the things that you want to happen. And if it's more synchronicity, that's that's better. But when we set a prayerful intention and that that's one that's you know, oriented toward an opening of the heart, you know, love of you know, unfolding of the deep love, emotion, master emotion. You know, we get in that state, we become more powerful because we're coming from love and service and helping. That that attitude turns up to the power. And so that from that point of view, when the when the when the goal is helping, what happens is our intentions enlarge and it's absolutely important to set an intention to have more synchronicity because that absolutely you know, especially revolve regarding goals that you're setting for yourself. Those goals unfold by these mysterious messages that come from people and helping hands that come from people. But we have to notice and it's a field. Well, once we set an intention, that's an energized field that we're that that goes ahead of us and into a room or in down ahead of our journey and can touch all the people that in and coordinated, it creates an additional coordination so people gravitate toward us with the synchronicities that they have for us and and so intention matters. I do press media for the Conscious Life Expo each year and one year I met some wonderful channelers, speakers, you know, they had a booth. They also did their presentation and so forth. And we ended up having just the most incredible conversation at the time. This is years ago. And and they said to me, we're going to hire you because we can tell that you are a runner and God brings us runners or helpers. And that just always stuck out for me. First of all, you know, it's so nice working with spiritual people. Can see these things, right? You don't have to work that hard. They just get it. They feel you.  That's actually a word that's used often in television and film. They call it a show runner. So, yeah, you know, that speaks to what you're talking about in helping and showing up to really be of service to other people, to, you know, know where your part is and all that. And I want to get to that in a little bit in further detail. I want to sort of slide from where we are from synchronicity into the insight number two, which is the world has a spiritual design which is so great sort of takes the onus off of us. If the world has the spiritual design, we definitely don't have to work so hard in effort so much in struggle. What is it right? It's not supposed to life is not supposed to be this hard. And the key is to be alert to the synchronistic help that we get and to make sure that we understand that it's about being of service. It's about giving as we'll talk about in the third inside, you know, the karmic design, one of the things that's an inside into the world. You can't live without. And that's understanding that there is a karmic design to the world. So whether things go easier or slower depends on how we operate. But we'll get to that. The second one, the second inside is just as important. And it's a understanding that all of historical progress, if you look back at a long story of humanity, what you see is that key people stepped up at just the right time and they made took action and and changed the world. You know, you read any biography, any biography of someone who wanted to talk about how they they came to make a difference in the world. You see synchronicity everywhere, you know, they they were guided by the synchronicities, opening of opportunities that put them in the right place and make a key difference in life. And you can see the history of humanity, not as just you know, a meaningful movement of people around and the creative technology, all that kind of thing. If we if we look at the progress we've made, you know, moving to accept people of all all differences as part of part of the humans that we unify with. It's a long that's a long journey of different cultures, accepting each other. You know, many ways war transcended and difficulties between people that were different cultures that were different. We we have, you know, we've moved into larger and larger acceptance of people across the thousands of years of history. Until now, we have a kind of emerging global unity based on the acceptance of everyone in all cultures. And what happens there is just more people become united in this in this group, mind of acceptance in the world. And, you know, eventually at every juncture of that, heroes, you know, just the civil rights movement movement in the United States, the emancipation of, you know, the movement to individual countries and cultures that were part of empires of various sorts. You know, this the breakup of similar cultures together. And then and then the the acceptance of all cultures that are different in the world is creates a kind of spiritual unity. Now, it's not all completed. But if you look at every step in that, you see someone showing up right on time. Martin Luther King, right on time to voice a step in unity. So the second insight is really about understanding that that we're on a march of progress with humanity. And it's not about control from the top or anything like that. It's about the heart of humanity opening at the individual level all over the world. And that is something that will create a kind of consciousness fully. I mean, I think we're just this is just the beginning, of course, just understanding the second insight that real puts us into a search for what we as individuals are here to do to change the world, to offer our help. And the first thing you can do to engage in the march of progress in the world is to become a synchronicity for another person. So we have to make sure we're not just looking for synchronicities for ourselves from people, but listening for what we can share from our own lives that become a synchronicity, a message and a synchronicity and a breakthrough. Oh, I love that. Yeah. So that makes so much sense. So things like this show having you on somebody can hear you and have a remembrance or a direction or something can pop for them, which is so wonderful. That's why inspirational motivational speakers can be so powerful because you can be in a certain mindset and suddenly you hear something and your whole world can change in that moment. You can take on insights you're talking about and have a completely different life from this moment on.  I mean, what we're opening to is the way the world works spiritually and that synchronicity is part of it. And knowing that we each of us have a journey of helping that turns in, that can turn into being a part of a movement that opens up another level of consciousness and unity in the world. So if the world does have a spiritual design or as you said, a karmic design, so many questions coming up. So the most important one I think is what's influencing what is the design influencing us and so do we need to just widen back and be in a flow or is there a design and there's an us and we're actually influencing the design and maybe vice versa. Well, I think that, you know, the 12 insights that I think humanity has discovered in terms of spiritual consciousness as the way the world really works. I think that, you know, there, you know, this is something we can expect of the world. In other words, it always works. And we can get to karma and talk about that because, you know, we, it's very important that we realize that life doesn't have to be so hard. You know, there's a way to get in alignment with the way the world is designed, the way the karmic alignment, get aligned with that karmic system so that we become lucky. And that's something that humanity is just awakening to. And I think that once we get into that in alignment with the karmic design, then that's when our creative powers go up another notch. Things come to us, synchronicities provide more quickly to the flow of our lives so that we can become high speed creators and make big, big movements of helping in the world. So, but I think it's very simple. The karmic design is very simple. It's designed around the idea of helping, just of giving and helping each other.   If we can, if we can make synchronistic moments using our intuition for others, if we can help in situations with money flow. You know, that's, that's what I mean by giving and what happens if, if we become those kind, that kind of conscious giver. What happens is that we draw more people in our lives that give to us. So think about that. That means we get more synchronicity in our lives. That meant more questions answered, more problem solved. And it, you know, that can, that, that's what elevates the clarity about how to get things done in the world and solve our problems and realize that we have help, but we have to be helpers to get the kind of help that, that can't, we could live with. In other words, you know, we're just figuring this out. Yeah, a lot of people if you watch in history have been very lucky and fortunate. But if you look closely, you see that they were the givers of the world. They took time to talk about people with people. They took time to give information intuitively that they came to them to give.  We try to use controlled dramas of various sorts to get attention, energy from people that's kind of steal, steal energy from people. Or if we just take in all the awful ways, which is to sell people things they don't need or to mislead them in some other way for personal gain, those are taking activities. And what happens if we're a taker is that we draw our lives other takers. Okay, so I've seen it over and over again where a person has a habit of really taking and just sort of forcing their way in the world. Well, what happens is that they'll draw in people that take them in almost exactly the same way. And that's why it's not a punishment. It's a eye-opener. When people, when you draw people in who you recognize are taking the same way that you're taking from others, you know, it's a wake-up call. It shows the pain that that creates. So, you know, this karmic design is all designed to move people into the light side, into the giving side to wake up and realize that, hey, there's a better life on the giving side of life. And it's a wake-up call, I believe, for the world that, you know, we've got to be doing good in order to create good. And the helping is the thing, you know, the intuitive helping. Yeah, I have a quote from you. I want to say this right here because your quotes are so powerful. And this is from James Redfield from an interview he did in the Evolution Revolution. And the quote is, one of my teachers once said that the way you know you're on the right path is that it works. Now, that doesn't mean you don't run into blocks and brick walls, but it does mean that you can find a way around them or find a way to change yourself or your project in order to find the flow again and have it work. And that feels like that quote feels such a direct link to what you're speaking about that in the spiritual design, if the world has a design, a pre-design, and we are part of that and executing it to find that flow means we get to be in that. There's ease in that and then of course we get to do out into the world that which was ours and part of the design. Do we then have our own thoughts or is that an illusion?  Like, where do we come into that equation? Well, I think we do both. We co-create in that sense. But I think the key is to allow ourselves to be guided. In other words, pay attention to those hunches and intuitions that come and act on them. Especially if it involves helping others or helping, you know, leadership in a business or a corporation. All those intuitions come for a reason and if we be brave and act on it, that's the key. Because again, it just completely starts to open doors quickly for us as people come in and help us. You know, James, besides having you on the show, I've seen you at the Conscious Life Expo in other places. I just want to say as a witness, my experience of you all the time is this, which is saying a lot. Drama-free.  I have seen you with swarms of people around you after you've spoken on stage. And I've seen you patiently talk to each person and you're never in a rush, never with attitude. I mean, I'm thinking about this because in the very beginning of the interview, you said that you utilize these insights in your life. And for me, hearing you say that makes sense because that's how I see you show up. Is there a practice that you have so you can incorporate them and make them very mindful for you? Well, you know, I try to do what I call a prayer contemplation and we'll get to that in this series. But it's an amazing thing when you spend time meditating and quieting your mind. And the most important part is quieting our emotions because, you know, a lot of people know to do mindfulness meditation where you just let go of all the chatter in your brain and all the talk and the self-talk.  But you also have to calm the heart. And what I mean is you have to calm the emotions that keep you out of your heart. So if you, you know, we all get hit with anger and anxiety and hurts that we think other people have done.  I mean, it really is a kind of closing of the heart that happens when we get overwhelmed by these. But everybody does. Nobody can keep this walk without getting slammed by something. Life happens, right? The key is to find this heart-opening experience, which all the mystics talk about. It's called a piece that surpasses all understanding. Every religious doctrine has that phrase in some way. And I believe that love is the ticket there. So we all have loved with an object. You know, we've loved a child or our parents or that first teenage crush. We know what love feels like, but we always seem to have to have an object, but love, the emotion of love, and I think that's the master of emotion. That's just a love state. It's a state of love. It's loving as an emotional condition of our hearts. So if we're in a state of love, and I've shared this with you before, I argue about love with people. I mean, there are all these trainers and human potential experts and people who talk about coming to a place of high creativity and self-development and all this. And I bring up love as a meaningful ingredient in all that. And they say, well, that's too mushy, Jane. It sounds like religion. We're talking about science-based self-development and all this stuff. And, you know, I just retort by saying love is a natural emotion. It's our master emotion. Grounding in this love state is what keeps us from being slammed so much by the lower emotions. So it's an emerging awakening of humanity that love is the key, is the strongest emotion. It's what preserves our path in the world. Our best creativity comes from a love-based helping of the world. So it's not mushy at all. It's the strongest anyone can ever be. And I think the people, you know, that's a big part of the achievement of the discussion by the human potential movement through the centuries and through the decades that, you know, love is a part of this. Love is an aspect of consciousness. In fact, I'll argue that you can't even have higher consciousness without a love-based opening of the heart that is higher consciousness and that defines higher consciousness. Otherwise, you're just doing your pacifying your ego a little bit and learning to create in different ways, maybe, but you're not doing it from the highest available consciousness. And it's important to know that that exists, that peace that surpasses understanding. We can discover that. The third insight, this will be our final question for today. We're getting close, is the karmic design giving, which we've been talking about anyway. And one of your quotes that I have for this third insight is, the universe is an energetically connected environment that is spiritually constructed to bring our greatest dreams into fruition, man after my heart. All we have to do is align our lives with the universe's ruling principle giving, the karmic principle of giving. Is giving karma of giving connected to quantum physics? Well, that's a very interesting question. And I think that if quantum physics is the idea that the universe responds and opens up to our dreams, which is essentially the interpretation, if we talk about human potential. Yeah, giving has that kind of power, because it, and it's, you know, it's, it's giving of energy. You know, you know, we have, we always have a certain energy about us, right? It can be high, it can be low. You know, but the low parts can be immediately lifted. Those low experiences, anybody, because if you, if you think of yourself as giving energy to another person. What happens is, especially if you're having eye contact kind of conversation, what happens is that it, you can, if you intend to like cheer somebody up without saying a word, just lift their spirits, give them a boost of energy. That's an intention that you have. And what that does is that's, that's part of a heart opening. And you really get what you're giving first. In other words, you might be, it's a great thing to do if you're bummed out yourself, go find somebody else's bummed out about something or depressed, and just have a conversation about whatever. But be giving, intend to give energy, because what happens is it opens up in you, overflows into the other person, lifts your spirits while you're helping them lift theirs. And it's a, it's a magical thing to do, to just learn to do. So this giving that we've been talking about is, is can be done energetically with others in its, in its, you know, the bottom line is that we help others and that helps us. We can get out of, I mean, and that's what people do.  It feels good to give to another person, to give, give a word of energy, complement money. And really during times like this, it's been really heartening to see how some people have chosen to show up and assist the some of the stories I read about people delivering things to people who are incapacitated or too old and couldn't and they would show up everything from toilet paper to food just, you know, sometimes not going to leave it at their door, sometimes anonymously pay for things. There's been so much kindness. And, and we're going to end there. Folks, join us for the rest of the series. Obviously, James is really going to deliver. I love what I'm hearing. I can feel even my energy shifting having this conversation. Thank you so much for blessing us today and being on the show.  Well, not pleasure. It's a lot of fun. And I'm going to end with this. This is actually a quote and is just parlaying off of what James said because it's so perfect. And I hope that you're getting something that you can take out into the world right now, which is his quote, we begin to experience the transforming reality of becoming an agent of the divine. What would God do to help if he couldn't come and instead sent me the wish to help others opens up our divine connection and strengthens our union with higher intelligence. And I love this idea of being an agent of the divine that God sent me sent you to help. So how can you create good karma today as well as fulfill your dreams. How can you be an agent of God considering that you were probably sent to help somebody else. Thank you for tuning in to this number one transformation dare to dream. Next week. My Victoria Kong is going to be on truth seeking shaman with ancestral wisdom and shamanic practices in the Zulu and cross cultural lineages this woman is amazing. So we'll have some incredible conversation. If you're listening to this as a podcast, and you'd like to see myself and my guest. Go to YouTube. Enjoy there. A lot of people do and as YouTube.com slash Debbie dashing her. Please leave us a review it helps other people find this show and remember don't just dare to dream, dare to make all your dreams into your reality and now you have a clue. You can start by giving


Mr. and Mrs. Hostuttler had been out all that winter's day. They had been on the hunt for the perfect Christmas tree. Mr. Hostuttler, Dennis, well, if it were up to him, he'd have gotten one picked out in an hour, maybe less. A tree was a tree, long as it looked okay. But the Mrs. She was mighty picky about some things, and today, she was being all mighty picky about her tree. This one was too tall, that one too short. This one here was already dropping needles for heaven's sake. That one, oh, that one just wasn't full enough. None of the trees would do at all. Dennis was getting hungry, which was making him cranky. Truth be told, it was his wife's particularness making him cranky, but he loved his wife and wanted to see her happy, so he put up with it. He did manage to convince her that they should give up the search for the perfect Christmas tree just for that afternoon. They could go out later, even the next day. But miracle of miracles as they drove home, the wife spotted it. There it was, the perfect Christmas tree. There was only one teeny tiny problem with it. It was smack in the middle of a cemetery, growing right out of a grave. But it was the perfect tree, the wife insisted. Dennis couldn't believe she was asking, truly honestly telling him to cut a tree down in a cemetery. But the wife just had to have it. After all, it was the perfect Christmas tree. So, grumbling the whole way, Dennis trumped into the cemetery, hacked, swish, hacked the tree down, dragged it out of the cemetery and pushed, pulled it on top of the car and tied it down. There, he got in the car and started it, already thinking of a hot bowl of soup at home. The road home was a winding country road. Coming around an especially tricky curve, the couple saw something strange. There was a man standing beside an old fashioned horse and buggy, sort of halfway in the road. Dennis hit the brakes and they made their way round the fellow blocking the road. Just as they got past him, though, man, horse and buggy all vanished. Well, of course, that was very strange but they didn't stop to investigate. But just before they reached home, they saw the horse and buggy again with the man glaring at them. This time they saw it on a ridge, silhouetted against the afternoon sky. They blinked and it was gone. When they got home, the husband untied the tree, brought it in, set it up in the stand and gave it a good healthy drink of water for its trunk. Then he trudged off to the kitchen to find something to eat. The wife was over the moon with her perfect Christmas tree. She dragged out all the boxes and decorations and set about trimming the tree. She put on strings of lights and garland and took out all her favorite ornaments, reliving fond memories of Christmas's past as she went. It didn't take her a terribly long time to decorate the tree and soon she stepped back to admire her work. That's when she saw it, an ornament she certainly had not put there, something near the top of her perfect Christmas tree, a small ornament in the shape of a man and a horse and buggy. The woman shrieked with horror for her husband to come take a look. They both peered at the ornament and realized, both together, that the man looked an awful lot like the fellow they'd seen twice on their way home. They got the funny feeling looking at the tiny man that he wanted to talk. His wife, her voice quivering, asked him what he wanted and the little man told them. In life he'd been a selfish, horrible man. About the only thing he'd ever done right in his life was to cut down pine trees and give them away to folks for Christmas. But that hadn't been enough to see him from the thought of hellfire and damnation for the other bad parts of his life. Many years before he'd been killed in a buggy crash. He'd lived just long enough to breathe his last instructions to his family. They must plant a pine tree on his grave. The tree would symbolize his generous acts and so he'd eventually work his way into heaven. The day he was buried his family honored his last wish and planted a seedling pine on his grave. Over the years it had grown tall and strong. It had grown into the perfect Christmas tree. And then after all this time, all those years of the tree growing, all those years of the man hoping to get into heaven at last, after all that, this selfish, ignorant, uncaring woman had come along and stolen his tree. A tree that in life he would willingly have cut down and given to her. She had cut down his special tree. There would be no forgiveness for such a crime. Strangely enough, the man didn't blame the husband who had actually been the one to cut down the tree. He knew it was the wife's doing. The little man's voice grew fainter as he spoke as if he were on the verge of leaving. He blamed her one last time for destroying his hope of getting into heaven. The last thing the little man told her was that the wife would suffer for the rest of her life for her thoughtlessness and disrespect. But he added a grim note in his voice. She wouldn't have to suffer for long. When the pine tree was dead, she too would die. The little man's prophecy came true. Despite their best efforts to keep the tree alive, it died. And a month to the day after the tree was cut, so did the wife. Welcome, Weirdos. I'm Darren Marlar and this is Weird Darkness. Here you'll find stories of the paranormal, supernatural, mysterious, macabre, unsolved and unexplained. If you are new here, be sure to subscribe to the podcast on Apple or Android so you don't miss future episodes. This is a special 12 Nightmares of Christmas episode. Each day from December 13th through December 24th, I'm posting a new episode of Weird Darkness featuring material from the new book The Spirits of Christmas, The Dark Side of the Holidays by Sylvia Schultz. Be sure to come back every day through December 24th for more holiday horrors.  In September 1908, the Harold family moved into a big three-story mansion in Norfolk, Virginia. Son Eddie, an only child, was given the bedroom on the third floor at the front of the house. But as he was away at a private school, he didn't use the room right away. Another third-floor room, the one down the hallway from Eddie's, was assigned to the family's two servants to share. But very soon after they had moved in, both servants came to Mrs. Harold and asked to be moved to a different room. Something felt wrong in that room. They said strange noises, unintelligible conversations just below a whisper, furniture moved by itself. Mrs. Harold told the servants they were just being foolish, but being a kind and considerate employer, she soon relented and let them move out of the haunted room. They had no problems in their new quarters. Eddie Harold came home for his holiday break a week before Christmas. He settled into his room and slept there peacefully until New Year's Eve. That night, Eddie was woken during the night by the overhead light turning on by itself. Groggily, he opened his eyes and saw a young woman standing next to the window. She was beautiful, dressed in white with a brilliant red rose tucked into her black hair. One hand was at her temple, as if to shield her eyes from the light. Still half asleep, Eddie mumbled to the girl and asked what she wanted. At the sound of his voice, the girl vanished and the lights went out. At breakfast the next morning, Eddie told his parents what had happened. Mr. and Mrs. Harold passed the experience off as a dream, but two nonchalantly asked Eddie not to mention the dream to the servants. At Easter, the Harold's had an out-of-town guest visiting. While sitting at breakfast, the friend happened to glance out into the hallway and saw a young lady in white pass by the open hall door and go up the stairs. The friend was able to describe the lady quite clearly.  Later that night, Eddie saw the ghost for a second time. This time he managed to ask the young lady who she was and what she wanted. The spirit again vanished, but at the same instant, he heard a woman's voice urge, wait. After that, the apparition was only seen at the Christmas holidays. The last time anyone saw the pretty ghost was during Eddie's senior year. Family was visiting for the holidays and Eddie's cousin was supposed to sleep in the servant's old room, but during the holiday party the men of the family had used it as their smoking room, so Mrs. Harold decided to put the cousin in Eddie's bedroom instead. Eddie agreed to sleep in the room the servants so feared. The Harrels decided not to tell the cousin about the ghost in Eddie's room, hoping she would sleep soundly. Eddie, as agreed, went to sleep in the servant's old room down the hall. He fell asleep without incident, but once again he was woken up in the middle of the night by the overhead lights coming on, and once again he saw the young woman in white standing by the window. This time, her hands were over her face. Eddie quietly got out of bed, but as soon as his feet hit the floor, the spirit was gone. After yet another visit from the beautiful young ghost, Eddie couldn't sleep. He sat up in a chair and read for a while. He nodded off over the book and slept through the rest of the night in the chair. At breakfast, the cousin told the Harrels about the strange vision she'd had the night before. She woke up to find her overhead light on. She could see through the walls that separated her room from the one Eddie was using. You were in your night shirt and you were sitting in a chair with a book in your hands. There was a woman in white standing behind you as if she was reading over your shoulder. The cousin described the woman exactly the way the Easter guest had done years before. The rose fell out of her hair, the cousin added. He was lying on the floor by the chair, and then the whole scene vanished. After breakfast, Eddie and his father snuck upstairs to the room where Eddie had spent the night. On the floor, next to the chair, was a fresh cut red rose. Shortly after this, Mr. Harrel passed away unexpectedly, and the family moved out of the house. Eddie never found out who the young lady was, or why she had appeared to him. But he kept the rose in a bell jar. He wrote that half a century later the stem and leaves had withered, but the blossom looked as fresh as if it had been cut that day, instead of being dropped by a ghost fifty years before. He never removed the glass cover, or even thought of touching the rose's satiny petals for fear it would crumble into dust. Jubal Reeves was a mountain man, and he had a mountain-sized heart, too. He was the friendliest, kindest man of anyone in those hills and hollers. Jubal was always ready to lend his neighbors a helping hand, but he saved his truest devotion for his family, his beautiful wife Rebecca and their four children. The little ones ranged from ten years old down to the three-year-old baby. There were two girls, Anna and Sarah, and two boys, Laban and David. Jubal doted on his children and their mother. He was constantly doing little things to show his affection for them. He dug flower beds for Rebecca around their cabin and filled them with the colors of nature, and picked bouquets for her every time a new blossom opened. He carved little toys for the children from chunks of wood, smoothing the splinters and rough edges carefully, mindful of tender little hands. He hung swings in the trees so the children would have a lovely place to play. Whenever he made the trek down to the general store for supplies, he made sure to pick something up for his family, penny candy for the children, and a bolt of cloth for Rebecca. She was an excellent seamstress and took pride in keeping her growing family well-clothed. And when they attended Sunday services in their small mountain church, Jubal would sit, eyes closed, a smile on his face as he listened to Rebecca lift her voice in worshipful song as if he were hearing angels sing. Jubal and Rebecca had been married for about 12 years when tragedy came to the family. During an exceptionally cold winter, influenza struck the mountain community. Jubal and Rebecca nursed other families until the evening they came home and found their own children sick. Little David, the baby of the family, died before morning the next day. Rebecca fell ill at about the time they lost David. 10-year-old Hannah passed next. Rebecca lived long enough to know that Hannah had died before she herself passed away. Left without his partner and soulmate, Jubal tried to keep his 6-year-old Sarah and 8-year-old Laban alive, but the strain of grief and loss was too much for him and he took sick as well. By the time the doctor came, Sarah and Laban were gone, and Jubal was delirious with fever. Jubal lay in a coma for a week before his fever broke. During that time, his neighbors did what folks back then did for each other. They took care of the laying out and the burying of Jubal's loved ones, but Jubal was far too sick to say his final goodbyes. It was another few days before Jubal was well enough to open his eyes and ask about Rebecca and the children. As gently as they could, the neighbors broke the shattering news. Rebecca, Hannah, Laban, Sarah and David were all dead, buried in the yard near one of the flower beds Jubal had put in for his wife's enjoyment. Jubal didn't believe them. He refused to believe them. The doctor pronounced Jubal out of danger. The neighbors went home, their sad duty done. If Jubal lived alone in the cabin for a while, they figured he would in time come to accept his loss. But it was not so easy as that. That spring Jubal Reeves came down from his cabin to the general store. He was still very weak and deathly pale, but he was determined to make the trip to the store. His reason for it became clear when he asked the storekeeper for five yards of ginger cloth. Rebecca wants to make new spring dresses for the girls. Jubal told the astonished storekeeper, they're just growing like weeds and best throw in some stick candy for little ones too. The storekeeper, startled, asked Jubal if he really wanted all that after what had happened. Jubal gave the man a puzzled look in return as if he honestly had no idea what the man was talking about. The storekeeper didn't have the heart to try to explain. In the end, he just sold Jubal the cloth and the candy along with his other supplies. As time went on, Jubal became even more fixed in his delusion. Occasionally, some neighbor would try to convince him that Rebecca and the children were waiting for him in heaven, but Jubal would never listen to such talk. He lived as if Rebecca and their children were right there with him and they were living their lives all together as a family. He'd wash clothes and hang them to dry. He cooked for a family of six. He'd set the table for the meal, then wash all the dishes afterwards. And once a year, he'd ask a neighbor woman to sew new dresses for Rebecca, Sarah and Hannah, but always in the sizes they had been when they died. The neighbor woman was kind and patient and she faithfully made the dresses as Jubal asked. Many years later, when Jubal was old and feeble, a stranger happened to pass by the cabin. It was Christmas time and the stranger was on his way to a nearby home and needed directions. He knocked on the door and Jubal let him in. The cabin was brightly lit and freshly cleaned for the holidays. The stranger could see that Jubal was in the middle of setting the table for six. The cabin was festively decorated and the good smells of cooking filled the air. Jubal was dressed in clean clothes, ready for a holiday celebration. He gave the stranger the directions he needed and the man went on his way. The stranger passed by Jubal's cabin again on his way down the mountain a couple of hours later. He was about to knock on the door again. He thought he might wish the old man a merry Christmas and maybe warm himself at Jubal's fire for a bit, but something stopped him from raising his knuckles to the door. He could hear voices in the cabin, the giggles of young children, Jubal's happy voice as he played with them. Then a woman's voice, the most beautiful he ever heard came to his ears. She was singing an old mountain carol and it sounded like angels singing. The stranger decided not to interrupt such a cozy family gathering, so he let his hand fall and turned away. He rode back down the mountain. It was some time later that he heard the story of Jubal's losses and of his insistence that his family still lived. That was Jubal's last Christmas with his family. He died at the end of summer the next year when the leaves began to turn. His neighbors found him sitting in a chair near Rebecca's flower beds. They buried him with his family right there in the yard. Mountain legends say that maybe Jubal's devotion to his family was so strong that it brought them back from beyond the veil to spend that one last Christmas with him. And when mountain folk want to pay someone the very highest compliment, they say they have a love like the love of Jubal Reeves. It was just a couple days before Christmas, 1860. Dr. John O'Brien, a country doctor practicing in rural Missouri, had just sat down to supper with his wife Elizabeth. The meal Elizabeth had made was perfect fare for a cold, blustery winter's night. Hot fried chicken, buttery mashed potatoes, and bread, fresh out of the oven. But Dr. O'Brien could only pick at his food. The young doctor was famous in the area for his intuition, a sense that went far beyond duty to his patients. And that intuition was niggling at him now, telling him to visit one of his patients. Mrs. Kilpatrick had heart trouble, and if she was in distress, care couldn't wait until morning. O'Brien sat his fork down and explained to Elizabeth that he had to go to see his patient. Elizabeth nodded her understanding, but cast a worried glance at the snow spitting against the window. O'Brien dressed warmly for the ride, but even so, the blizzard's winds swirled fiercely around him, cold fingers seeking away into his heavy overcoat and under his thick woollen scarf. He made his way to the stable and hitched his sturdy horse to the buggy. The howling winds and driving snow hit him full force when he turned out of his lane and onto the road. O'Brien gripped the reins with his fur-lined gloves and urged the horse forward, praying that the beast could keep his footing on the slippery road. The familiar landmarks were buried under drifts of snow. O'Brien peered through the swirling flakes trying to see the turn he had to take to get to the zig-zag path to the Kilpatrick's house. His sense of duty to his patient throbbed, but the storm raged fiercely around him. If he took the wrong road, he'd be wandering the countryside for hours in the cold and dark. Should he just give up and head for home? Just then he heard a noise under the howl of the wind. It sounded like the barking of a dog, a big dog. No, not just one, there were two of them. Then in the shallow pool of yellow light cast by his buggy lantern, O'Brien saw them.  The horse snorted and stamped, but didn't bolt from the huge beasts. The dogs barked again and bounded off through the snow, their shaggy black bodies easy to see as they moved through the white drifts. They must belong to some family around here, O'Brien thought, as he touched the horse into a fast walk. He didn't remember the Kilpatrick's having big dogs like these, but maybe they were working animals, not allowed indoors. The dogs kept up their barking, looking back over their shoulders, almost as if they were making sure O'Brien was following them. The doctor decided to trust his intuition once again and he followed the big black dogs. The dogs waited patiently for the buggy to catch up, leading the horse down the winding road to the Kilpatrick's home. O'Brien doubted he would have found the turnoff without the dog's help. Finally, a light glimmered in the distance, and the doctor allowed himself a sigh of relief. Moments later, he recognized the Kilpatrick's house. He pulled up, parked his buggy in the shed with a pat for his faithful horse, and went up and knocked on the door. Mr. Kilpatrick opened the door. Dr. O'Brien, what on earth? The doctor shrugged out of his snow-crusted overcoat. I had a feeling that's all. How is Mrs. Kilpatrick? Not well, I'm afraid. That intuition of yours, it's sure a blessing.  The doctor warmed his hands briefly at the fire, then went in to see his patient. As her husband had said, Mrs. Kilpatrick was doing poorly. Her breathing was labored, and her color wasn't good. O'Brien reached for her wrist and felt for her pulse. Thank God you're here, doctor. The woman mumbled, I had the strangest dream about you. Dreamed you were driving in a storm with two great black beasts at your side. Her voice trailed off as O'Brien stared at her. Numbly he noted her low, thready pulse. He turned to his bag and rummaged through it, looking for the packet of heart medicine. He mixed it with water and eased his patient up to drink it. Soon her breathing eased, her pulse grew steady, and she drifted into sleep. It was then that O'Brien realized that he hadn't heard the dogs bark in some time. As he gratefully accepted a late meal from Mr. Kilpatrick, O'Brien asked him about his dogs. The man shrugged. He didn't own dogs like that, nor did anyone in the area. The doctor spent the night watching over his patient. The next morning, Christmas Eve, she was well out of danger. As O'Brien drove home, he kept a sharp watch for the big black dogs. He even whistled and shouted for them a few times, but they had vanished with the blizzard's winds. He never saw the dogs again. If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with others and help build the Weird Darkness community by converting your friends and family into weirdoes as well. This special episode is part of my 12 Nightmares of Christmas series, a collaboration with paranormal blogger and author Sylvia Schultz. The stories I used in this episode are from her book The Spirits of Christmas, The Dark Side of the Holidays, and you can find a link to that book in the show notes. Do you have a dark tale to tell? Share your story at WeirdDarkness.com and I might use it in a future episode. Music in this episode is provided by Midnight Syndicate. Find a link to purchase and download this dark, creepy Christmas music in the show notes. I'm your creator and host, Darren Marlar. Merry Christmas and thanks for joining me in the Weird Darkness. Subscribe to this channel and click the notification bell so you don't miss future videos. I post videos seven days a week, and while you're at it, spread the darkness by sharing this video with someone you know who loves all things strange and macabre. If you want to listen to the podcast, you can find it at WeirdDarkness.com slash listen.


Good morning babies and especially the best I Have two riddles for you riddle number one What do you call a YouTube video? Featuring Sam Vaknin Yes, a YouTube No funny, hey, okay, let's try another one. What is the only thing the only thing?   There is a typology of these people There is a huge confusion Regarding people whose sex drive does not conform to social expectations Whose sex drive frustrates their intimate partners whose sex drives cause them distress and Today I'm going to provide you with what Wikipedia calls a disambiguation page a disambiguation guide Let's start with the most clear-cut case people who are asexual now asexuality is Not yet an accepted clinical category or diagnosis Many psychologists reject the possibility of someone without a sex drive at all They many clinical psychologists and many psychiatrists claim that if you don't have a sex drive If you don't experience sexual cravings if you don't act on sexual impulses, etc, etc Something's wrong with you You have a problem But a growing body of evidence suggests pretty conclusively That actually 1% of the population are born without a sex drive They are devoid of other directed sex inclination or Tendency or propensity now. That's a very important distinction asexuals are not sexually attracted to other people in other words. It's a form of lacking or unusual object relations Sex drive is other directed. It's relational. It's externalized It's it's outwarded.   In other words many asexuals are actually Auto erotic for example the majority of asexuals must debate They must debate as a form of release as a form of physiological release the same way people eat when they are hungry or drink When they're thirsty that part is true The masturbation is not indicative of a full-fledged mature Constellated coherent and cohesive sex drive or urge sexual urge But still they do masturbate. So this is indicative of a dormant latent sex drive Which is inwardly directed self-directed auto erotic.  They have intimate partners. They have companions They have romantic flings and engagements and assignations and what have you they just don't engage don't think it doesn't culminate in sex They don't engage in sex so some asexuals Do everything with other partners Do Have intimate relationships, but sex is not a part of the relationship Now mind you 21% of marriages are Sexless marriages.  You're in a sexless marriage So 21% of marriages is sexless and we believe the figure to be probably double bet Maybe half of all marriages are sexless. So asexuality makes appearances in very surprising places and The consumption of pornography for example is auto erotic You could be asexual with your wife and still consume pornography in order to gratify it yourself Auto erotically. So you see this is the problem when we try to delineate and delimit and demarcate asexuality from celibacy asexuality from sexlessness The it's a murky field. It's it's not entirely clear If you if you've been celibate for 15 years Like I have been are you asexual?  So it's very difficult to define but We tend to think that 1% of a population are born without a sex drive right now It's still not accepted wisdom. It's still not the orthodoxy. We don't teach this in universities But there's a community of asexuals online and you're well advised to visit their forums and see what there's what they say about themselves There are two types of asexuals asexuals which do not need sex Do not require intimacy do not seek or crave companionship and romance and these are actually schizoids these are people with schizoid personality disorder and They are mistaken for asexuals and then there's a group of asexuals which have Relationships full-fledged relationships intimacy companionship romance spending time together doing things together loving each other Cuddling and hugging and you name it, but they don't have sex because they don't need sex They are simply with born without the sex drive or they had evolved To become adults without without a sex drive.   They have no family.     This is a huge pleasure But why pursue it if it comes it comes if it doesn't it doesn't you don't watch the same movie Day in and day out for the rest of your life.  So he doesn't go out of his way The schizoid the person with schizoid style Can go on for years sometimes decades without sex, but when the opportunity presents itself When the opportunity throws their self at his feet The schizoid style thoroughly enjoys the proceedings in other words The schizoid style for example is likely to respond positively to sexual advances Likely to flood and likely to seduce when the opportunity presents itself However, he's not likely to generate the opportunity.  He loves sex.   They it's like a display of fireworks And when people are odd and amazed and admire the cerebral narcissist and adulate him for his intellect for his intelligence That's the kind of narcissistic supply. He seeks.      I'm so sufficient I am divine That's a cerebral Narcissist mind you there is no type constancy the cerebral narcissist Does become somatic given certain circumstances for instance when the cerebral narcissist Loses his main source of supply is likely to become somatic in order to find and groom and love bomb and acquire a new source of supply so cerebral narcissists make use of sex in Order to guarantee the presence of an intimate partner in a future shared fantasy It's a part of the grooming and love-bombing phase and it's of course a form of false Advertising they lie to the partner. They pretend to be sexually active and sexually interested They pretend to love sex and to like sex, but actually it's all of a sad It's all a show intended to capture the the future intimate partner to convince her that It's going to be heaven at least sexual heaven. This is the cerebral narcissist that the histrionic person with histrionic personality disorder Most people diagnosed personal with histrionic personality disorder are women Which raises a red or a black flag over the whole diagnosis, but histrionics are flutatious flutatious seductive Em But studies have revealed that people with histrionic personality disorder are actually sex averse They are what used to be called frigid so The more flirtatious the person is the more ostentatiously and overtly and conspicuously seductive The more the person engages in the chase and in the conquest The less likely that person is to be actually interested in sex it is histrionics regulate their moods and self-esteem via the chase via the conquest Not via the sexual act They regard the sexual act as drudgery as a chore They're very reluctant to engage in it. They try to get it over with and Sex with histrionics is seriously bad very low quality histrionics therefore exactly like borderlines and others are far more likely to engage in Casual sex and far more likely to be promiscuous because they don't want Regular long-term sex as I said they want to just get it over with Psychopaths are the same for different reasons So this is the picture of people whose sex drive is either very low or Non-existent, but you have noticed throughout this presentation. I was confined myself I was talking exclusively about other directed sex Actually, all these people are auto-erotic the asexual most asexual Masturbate is a form of physiological release which requires absolutely psychologically requires auto-eroticism and Cerebral narcissist masturbate and consume porn and they're highly auto-erotic Same same with histrionics and and all the others Auto-eroticism is an infantile feature Which survives into adulthood in everyone by the way? That's why adults healthy adults normal adults like to have sex facing mirrors because they can see themselves in the mirrors So in the mirror and this arouses them self-gaze self-regard Seeing yourself in the act is very arousing Even for totally healthy and normal people and it is irresistible for these types However, other directed sexuality is impaired or non-existent in all these aforementioned types and now I would like to to discuss Hyposexuality, but before we go there you could ask why is other directed sexuality impaired in these people? What's wrong? Is it a psychological problem? Is it a biological problem? Is it a hormonal problem? Is it a neurological problem? Where's the problem? Why do these groups of people and by the way, it's not a small number It's not a small number. It's estimated as something like 15. That's one five percent of the population Fall into one of these groups And I didn't even mention the somatic narcissist, which who has his own problems with sex He doesn't really engage in sex and he doesn't really like sex He likes masturbation with other people's bodies and If he's sadistic, he likes de-spoiling. He likes degrading the other partner, but we'll leave the data side The people I've mentioned histrionics, cerebral narcissists, asexuals, schizoids Hyposexuals, they don't have sex at all.  None of them seeks sex Actively. None of them engages None of them engage in behaviors which are likely to result in sex for example cruising or Going to bars and pubs or restaurants to pick up people or joining dating apps. None of them does this Only the histrionic Is engaged in behaviors which are misinterpreted as sexual behaviors. They're not they're about power They're about regulation of self-esteem They're about regulation of woods The histrionics behavior and the borderline behavior in a histrionic phase Because borderlines can have histrionic phases The histrionic and the borderline histrionic They don't like sex at all.  They're frigid and They just want the conquest now the histrionic wants the conquest to regulate her internal environment The borderline wants the conquest in order to capture an intimate partner because she has abandonment anxiety and because her grandiosity She she needs to feel irresistible in order to avoid the risk of abandonment humiliation and rejection These are complex issues and so we are led to believe that essentially It's a psychological issue Not necessarily a physiological issue Perhaps a psychological issue which is a reaction to the physiological issue. There is a wide spectrum wide diapason wide range of Of intensity of the sex drive Some people need to have sex three times a day Some people need to have sex three times a year and both Both ends of the spectrum are legitimate and healthy and normal Um mismatch in sex drive Is often caused for divorce and marital problems and cheating and other Untoward phenomena people don't bother to check how matched they are How compatible they are as far as a sex drive and it's a great pity But this this is still the healthy and the normal beat the normal portion of the spectrum We're talking about the very end of the spectrum Where where sex is utterly shunned Unneeded ignored Not a part of life These people are capable of arousal and happiness and gratification and satisfaction with the exception of the schizoid Schizoid's emotions are But with the exception of the schizoid these people lead totally normal lives They're creative. They're happy.  There's a modicum of intimacy even in a one night stand There's warmth and acceptance and gratitude and even in a in a casual encounter sexual encounter These people don't need it.  This is the tip of an iceberg And the iceberg is self-sufficiency essentially a schizoid core In other words, these people don't need other people. They don't use other people. They don't interact with other people They don't like other people They are loners essential loners and and quintessential loners and and they this lack of interrelatedness to other people Of course manifests and expresses itself In their sexuality because there's no such thing as sexuality.  Of course with the cerebral nostrils is needless to say and of course with the schizoid Schizoid to be a schizoid is to be emotionally dead All emotions are dead not only sexuality or psychosexuality All forms of relating to other people All all of them are defunct and disabled and deactivated and and actually frankly non-existent So let's talk about hypoactive Hypo hypo sexuality the clinical term for hypo sexuality is hypoactive sexual desire disorder HSDD We clinical psychologists love to invent these long Phrases and terms because it gives gives psychology the air of medicine It makes us look very scientific and very knowledgeable and very erudite And it gives us an advantage over you because you can pronounce these words and they're very very long. They're 10 dollar words HSDD hypoactive hypo active not hyper active hypo active sexual desire disorder Is commonly known as hypo sexuality or inhibited sexual desire?   I don't know how many times because There is a huge resistance in the community of psychologists clinical psychologists and professors of psychology to the construct of asexuality But it tends to reason that some people a tiny tiny tiny fraction Tiny number of people are born without sex right It's an accident of biology accident of genetics tends to reason I don't know if it's one percent of a population As asexuals claim a sexual asexual activists claim that about one percent of a population are asexual I suspect the number is much smaller. I think they misidentify asexual biological asexuality with schizoid personality But there is a number of people who do not have a sex drive And yet these people are pathologized Via this diagnosis of h s d d Hypoactive sexual desire disorder and it's wrong to pathologize them. Nothing is wrong with them.   So These are general general clinical diagnosis One feature of of which is hyposexuality But they are all there. There are people Who don't who are not depressed and they are not anxious and they don't have a personality disorder, but they still have a problem with their sex drive Still if the person is happy with his lack of sex drive If the person has no interpersonal difficulties If the person has no mental health disorder if the person functions perfectly in all settings like the workplace In other words, if nothing is wrong with the person's life except the fact That sex is not his cup of tea. He's not his thing He doesn't fantasize on sex. He has no desire for sex.  He has no problem with his spouse et cetera, et cetera We don't regard this as a mental health issue or is a problem and we do not intervene There's no value judgment here.  We don't have a sex drive. Something's wrong with you We're going to force you to have sex. It's not the thought police, you know, but many many people Because the sex drive is depressed or suppressed This creates serious difficulties in their relationships It creates serious difficulties in in social situations. For example, when they reject sexual advances Openly and ostentatiously it raises questions It creates it creates a lot of awkward moments and situations and so on and they're distressed They're unhappy with it And so then we say that there's a problem Um These people don't react Don't respond to any sexual cues Indications of desire or even outright invitation to to have sex And we know that for example in studies Um 10 percent of all women Uh react this way The 10 percent of all women are clinically hypo hypo sexual So It's not it's not surprising That hyposexuality is a field And the study of hyposexuality started among women Because there was this stereotype of the frigid women women don't want sex men always want sex But today we know it's not true We know it's not true Hyposexuality is common among men as much as among women There are grounds even to assume that hyposexuality is more common among men than among women But men were trained culturally and socially to hide it. It was shameful.  You're the misfit. You're the outcast because you You don't get it. You don't want sex It doesn't you know you're only interested in sex. So This creates distress subjective distress and actually that all treatments are intended to cope with this distress Hyposexuality can be a general lack of sexual desire But it can also be Situational lack when you don't have a sexual desire towards a specific partner Or in given circumstances or in a given environment So hypersexual hypersexuality can arise suddenly Circumstantially and situationally it can even be acquired There are people who were totally normal sexually functioned normally had desire fantasies were active Sort sex and suddenly stopped And then they became totally asexual or hypersexual So it can be acquired. It can be lifelong Someone who's never had Never had never had time for sex never had interest in sex life long from adolescence to to his dying day So hypersexuality is reactive Is reactive in the sense that you know, it can it can arise suddenly Or it's it's it can be a lifelong feature actually a trait An erectile dysfunction and premature reject relations are actually indicators or symptoms of expressions Expressions of situational circumstantial or acquired Hyposexuality it's a way of rejecting the partner in effect is largely psychological The very rare cases where it's biological medical hormonal vast majority of cases. It's psychological The diagnostic and statistical manual five My favorite edition of the dsn by the way because it started to go the right way in many many fields the dsn five Split hypersexuality divided it To two parts male hypoactive sexual desire disorder and female sexual interest arousal disorder So they recognize that This this problem is common among men and women but manifests differently In men the problem is desire actually lack of desire In women the problem is interest and arousal Women may want to have sex But women are much more specific and particular as to who can arouse them Their arousal is much a much more complex process It involves emotional dimensions cognitive dimensions past history Interaction smells women women's brain Is wired differently to a men's brain when it comes to sex for example a woman could react with arousal vaginally But she at the same time she's utterly unaware that she's aroused So there is a divorce Between the genitals genitalia of women and their brains The genitalia are totally autonomous and they react with lubrication and arousal and everything blood flow Everything while the mind the brain is totally unaware of any sexual arousing This never happens with the men So women have mostly arousal problems men have mostly desire problems And this distinction was first made in the dsm 5 in the dsm 5 male hypoactive sexual disorder Is described as persistently and recurrently deficient or absent sexual erotic thoughts or fantasies and desire for sexual activity And this is a subjective measure of course Because you have to take into account culture society age expectations Relationship status is it marriage? Is it situation ship? Is it real relationship? Is it love? Is it last? Is it infatuation? Is it limerence? I mean, there's so many factors at play A peer pressure group pressure. I mean work depression anxiety mental disorders substance abuse Alcohol drugs. I mean, you need to really really the intake interview needs to be really really detailed It's everything has an effect on sex Sex is the most sensitive barometer seismograph of the total well-being and welfare of the person Sex is the first thing first thing that responds Sex aversion among couples is very common because sex reflects the deteriorating state of the relationship, for example, if it's very conflictual And so Sex also is intimately linked with other attributes such as novelty seeking risk taking Some people are aroused by the forbidden Some people are aroused by cheating deception Sex is is not a monolithic entity And it's definitely not about inserting one genitalium one genitalia Set of genitalia in another set of genitalia. It's not about the body This is it's this is this cliche happens to be right The brain is the largest sex organ And the brain as we know is something we don't know So It's very complex female sexual interest arousal disorder is defined in the diagnostic and statistical manual five as a lack of or significantly reduced sexual interest or arousal Manifesting it as at least three of the following symptoms No or little interest in sexual activity No or few sexual faults No or few attempts to initiate sexual activity or respond to partners initiation No or little sexual pleasure or excitement in 75 percent to 100 percent of sexual experiences No or little sexual interest in internal or external erotic stimuli And no or few genital non-genital sensations in 75 percent to 100 of sexual Experiences and if this sounds like your wife, you're probably right for both Diagnosis the male diagnosis the female diagnosis The clinician tries to rule out Circumstantial situational or acquired hypersexuality. Sometimes we don't feel like having sex for six months. For example victims of complex post traumatic stress disorder and victims of abuse in general They very often become asexual or hypersexual They become sex averse.   We are open We we we throw away Our defenses and protections and fears and and we just let it go And we open our borders To a wave of immigrants Which is the sexual apartment so If the hypersexuality lasts longer than six months If it causes significant distress It is not explained by any other condition. For example people after operation surgeries They are sexually hyperactive people who use Alcohol alcohol is actually a depressant people believe that alcohol makes you more sexual Makes you actually less sexual People who use certain drugs not all You know you have to people with with tumors in the brain specific areas All these conditions create hypersexuality and we have to rule the rule them out So let it be clear If you have lower desire than your partner Nothing's wrong with it If you don't have any desire Nothing's wrong with it If you have desire But it's mostly self-directed It's a pity you're missing out on a lot but technically nothing's wrong with it If you have desire only towards other people never with your partner It's a problem with your partner. Maybe but it's not a clinical or medical problem Only if you're distressed Only if you have problems in your relationships only if your hypersexuality affects your life then Clinical psychologists can offer some help and have a justification to intervene People sometimes self-identify as asexuals they lack sexual desire And so the minute someone comes to the clinical psychologist and says Doctor I don't have a sex drive. I'm asexual That's a problem because we we should not intervene in such a case We should not provide for example therapy, you know Up until very recently relatively speaking up until a few decades ago There were there were these programs to convert homosexuals into heterosexuals Because homosexual sexuality was considered to be a mental illness Up until 1973 homosexuality was defined as a mental illness in the diagnostic and statistical manual So we were trying to cure reprogram Homosexuals and convert them into normal people heterosexuals.  I mean we we need to fix them Something's wrong with us It's okay to not have a sexual It's wrong to sexualize everything the role of sex has changed dramatically Throughout history There were very long periods in history where sex was considered dirty and prohibited and and and was very rare Sexual activity was extremely rare and targeted at procreation only There were other periods where sexuality was rampant Defined joy and cheer and love and and gratification and so on and so were celebrated Depends on the context of society on culture and period and depends on your physiology Your hormonal balances your your biology so Low sexual desire alone Is not Sexuality it's not hsdd Because if there's no distress there's no interpersonal difficulty Then essentially there's no problem Moreover, we we don't really know we don't really know what causes these fluctuations Uh in in sexual drive and sexual urge and sexual desire We don't know what is the role of sexual fantasies For example, is the role of sexual fantasies to actually prevent action in reality?   Or is the role of fantasies actually to flesh out sexual desire and then act on it? We don't know even this We don't have enough data sex has been a very very neglected area in in psychology because of social proscriptions and prohibitions and inhibitions So we don't know what causes hypersexuality We We don't know what why some people are stimulated and aroused with the same partner for life And what why others need constant novelty.  We don't know what differentiates The first kind of people from the second kind of people.  We don't know So because we are largely ignorant it would be very presumptuous of us and potentially dangerous To intervene because we don't we don't honestly know What we're doing And we need to rule out We need to rule out so many Possibilities That it's it's a huge problem. We need to rule out medical issues hormonal issues physiological issues Like for example obstruction maybe somewhere. We need to rule out mental health issues psychiatric problems. We need to rule out, you know, testosterone issues prolactin issues. We need to rule out Inhibitory and excitot excitatatory factors.  There's a very little empirical evidence. Nothing very little is evidence based We don't know and because we don't know we need to be really really modest and really really humble We know even little even even even less About the causes of hstd in women We know a bit more about about men We know we are just beginning to understand mood disorders That's why we are medicating on mood disorders because we understand the interrelationships between the brain and mood disorders It's new knowledge relatively speaking and we're just discovering the gastrointestinal impact on mood disorders. That's totally new New knowledge. So maybe nutrition has something to do with it Relationship problems stress stress hormones They reduce we know they reduce sexual desire in women but not in men. Why is that? Why why the different reactivity in men and women? Is it hormones? Is it something else? Is it something in the brain? Effective responses a tension on capture of sexual stimuli What about deciphering?  It's very rare for someone to come to you and say Listen, I'm dying to have sex with you and people people signal signal very subtly They kind of testing the waters and so you need to be able to pick up on these cues And if you're for example someone with autistic spectrum disorders disorders or Or someone even with narcissism You would have severe difficulty to pick up on the cues to interpret them correctly.  There's a lot of operant conditioning and other forms of conditioning in In human sexuality. You see it's not clear The field is far from clear, but I hope I help to disambiguate some of it Oh wine and sex At least I have wine the glass is half empty


What's up everybody, Jason here for jaspyscasebreak.com. We just sold out 2022 Paninium City in football. This is a six box, half case, break between number two and the second half of the case. And here we go guys. So there are the 11 teams that are part of the R&B with the names and of course there's everybody else there. Here we go guys.  It looks like a tunnel vision. Little easy Zucanma for the Dolphins. Dolphins was part of the 11 team R&B. 14, spot four, going to Robert Ronkel. And I've got more Dolphins. That's tunnel vision. Is that a red flood? Is that red? Nice it is. Two out of 10, Dan, the man, Marino. So another one there. Two is going to Dean. So back to back hits there for the Dolphins R&B. We have a Derek Stingley Jr. That's for the Houston Texans Jacob. Vilas Jones Jr. for the Bears. Part of the 11 team R&B. 29 out of 125. Spot nine is Ryan. We have a five of 50. Eclipse to the Cincinnati Bengals. That is Chad Johnson. Nice three-colored pad. Let's go into James. Or actually that's 50 out of 50 I should say. Greg Daltres to 25. Nice one there for the Denver Broncos. Part of the 11 team R&B. 11 with that one. Spot one is Joshua. Aiden Hutchinson to 175. Nice one there for the Detroit Lions. That's going to Chris. And there you go, first box. We've got a gold. AM8, I don't know how beautiful that looks guys. Little color match and all. That's for the Rams. Patrick Davis, that looks beautiful. Eight out of 10. That's what I'm talking about right there. Then we've got a Zach Wilson for the Jets going to Wayne to 100. We've got a Samori Torn. Here we have Packers Joe. We have a one, two, three color patch. Kyle Hamilton for the Ravens. Part of the 11 team R&B. 41 out of 50. One is Joshua. We have a Christian Watson. I'm sitting. 60 out of 175. That's for Joe. Try on Davis Price. That's another one there for the 40 Magners on the phone too. And then we've got Skye Moore. That is 78 out of 175. For the Chiefs going to Wayne. Two boxes down, four more to go. Carson Wentz for the Commander's Orange. And how about more Carson Wentz? Both going to Joshua. 46 out of 75 and 33 out of 100. Garrett Wilson for the Jets. Hassan Askin's 11 out of 100. Tennessee Titans going to the R&B. 11, another one for Spot One. Wondale Robinson to 125 for the Giants. Giants is also part of the R&B. 43, Spot Three's Robert Runkle. And then we got Magnatic. That's a nice looking card right there. Leonard Fournette, 12 out of 100. His Buccaneers Gabe. And then Jahan Dotson to 99. All right, halfway through, guys. Halfway through. All right, we have Chris Godwin and a Supernova that's going to the Saints Alvin Kamara out of 25. Saints is part of the R&B. 23 out of 25. 23 is Robert Runkle. Godwin to 50 and Carson Wentz there. And whoa, there we go. Colorblast, Patrick Mahomes. Look how beautiful that looks. Going straight up to Wayne and the Chiefs. Solid hair right there, buddy. There you go, Wayne. Congratulations, buddy. We got John and Taylor to 100. That is a part of the R&B as well. And that's a nine, which is going to Ryan. Cam Taylor Britt. Going to the Bengals, going to James. And I've got a little Brock Birdie. Five out of 50. Nice. Look at that, dude. Like, sweet. All right, so they're Valle Fonso and the 49ers. What a box. Man, this was a personal box, we would have been banged. And then we have a Vilas Jones Jr. for the Bears, 11 team R&B RPA. 26 out of 99. It's about six is going to Robert Runkle. Two more boxes to go, guys. So again, number three and four are from fresh cases, guys, if you guys want to run it back. Again, I'll do the similar thing. I'll leave it up there for, you know, 15, 20 minutes if nobody buys the remaining teams just put them in an R&B. We got Cam Taylor Britt and a Miles Garrett 1099 for the Browns. Fred with the Browns there. And then James, another one there for the Bengals. Nice little orange color match too. Wow, another color blast. Christian McCaffery. Woo. If I remember correctly, guys, I believe last year if you got one color blast, I think you were getting like a white Contra and a color blast in every case. But if you didn't get the white Contra, there was a chance you got two color blasts. This might be it, guys. That's probably the same configuration as last year. Two color blaster, guys. Nice. So there's opportunity for both. We'll take that. Nice break right there for Ali Fonson with the 49ers. Derek Henry to 125. 26 out of 125. That's spot six, Gwendoor Abirunkel. We got Tyler Smith to 199. That's for the Dallas Cowboys and Edd. And then we got Saas Gardner to 199 for the Jets Jets Jets. Wayne having a hell of a break. Romeo Dubs, RPA there. That is to 99. Going to the Green Bay Packers and Joe. There we go. Last box here. Woo. Man, those golds just look so beautiful, guys. Man, I'd love to get like a Jalen Hurts like this. Gabriel Davis, two of 10. That is for the Bills and Niko. And then K. Von Dividow for the Giants, part of the 11 team R&B, one out of 50. Another one for Joshua. All right, we got Sam Williams. We have a Zameer White for the Raiders, 70 out of 75. Raiders, that's Ryan. Scary Terry McLaren to 75. That's for Joshua and the Washington Commanders. Isaiah Spiller to 199. That's for the Chargers, going to Joe. And we do have a Malik Willis. Here we go, guys. R&B gonna be getting a hit. Looks like it should be an RPA. So we didn't end up getting a Kenny Pickett or anything else like that, but we did end up getting a Brock Purdy and a Malik Willis. Let's see who that goes to right now, guys. Good luck, everybody. And it is 10 out of 50, going to Robber Rumpel, spot zero. And look at that, beautiful patches and autograph right there. Very nice hit right there, Rob. So again, spot zero with that one. So R&B's didn't get a chance at a color blast, but they did get a big RPA quarterback. And pretty solid there, guys. Well, second half was on fire, guys. We got a couple of goals, two color blasts, two big quarterbacks. There were some really, really nice hits in here, guys. So like I said, this stuff is very nice. Every case is different, though. Hopefully when we do the next one, maybe we split color blasts or big case hits and quarterbacks through both halves, but just turned out to be that this half had all this. I'm gonna double check the non-numbered cards right now, but it seems like we, I don't think we got any non-numbered cards for the R&Bs. Everything else went numbered, so we might not have to do that extra randomizer, but let me double check really quick. So yeah, non-numbered there, non-numbered there, but that's a team straight up.  Packer's team straight up, Jeff's team straight up, and Houston's straight up. Yeah, so no non-numbered cards for the R&B there. So I appreciate it, guys. Three and fours in the store. Fresh case, Jaspy's casebricks.com.