Chapter 23 Kate's Heavenly Time One evening Kate and Polly went to the front porch to rest until bedtime and found a shining big new trunk sitting there. With Kate's initials on the end, her name on the check-tag and a key in the lock, they unbuckled the straps, turned the key and lifted the lid. That trunk contained under-clothing, hoes, shoes, two hats, a travelling dress with half a dozen extra waists, and an afternoon and evening dress, all selected with a special reference to Kate's colouring, and made one size larger than Nancy Ellen's War, which fitted Kate perfectly. These were gloves, a parasol and a note which read, Dear Kate, here are some clothes. I'm going to go north a week after harvest. You can be spared then as well as not. Come on, let's run away and have one good time all by ourselves. This is my treat from start to finish. The children can manage the farm perfectly well. Any one of her cousins will stay with Polly if she will be lonely. Cut loose and come on, Kate. I'm going. Of course Robert couldn't be pried away from his precious patience. We will have to go alone. But we do not care. We like it. Shall we start about the tenth on the night-train, which will be cooler? Nancy Ellen. We shall, said Kate emphatically, when she finished the note. I haven't cut loose and had a good time since I was married, not for eighteen years. If the children are not big enough to take care of themselves, they never will be. I can go as well as not. She handed the note to Polly, while she took out dresses and gloated over the contents of the trunk. Of course you shall go, shouted Polly, as she finished the note. But even as she said it she glanced obliquely up the road and waved the hand behind her mother's back. Sure you shall go, cried Adam, when he finished the note, and sat beside the trunk, seeing all the pretty things over again. You just bet you shall go. Polly and I can keep house fine. We don't need any cousins hanging around. I'll help Polly with her work, and then we'll lock the house, and she can come out with me. Sure you go. We'll do all right." Then he glanced obliquely down the road, where a slim little figure in white moved under the cherry trees of the York Front Yard, aimlessly knocking crow-cables here and there. It was two weeks until time to go, but Kate began taking care of herself at once, solely because she did not want Nancy Ellen to be ashamed of her. She rolled her sleeves down to meet her gloves, and used a sun bonnet instead of a sunshade. She washed and brushed her hair with care she had not used in years. By the time the 10th of July came she was in very presentable condition, while the contents of the trunk did the remainder. As she was getting ready to go she said to Polly, Now do your best while I'm away, and I am sure I can arrange with Nancy Ellen about school this winter. When I get back the very first thing I shall do will be to go to Hartley and buy some stuff to begin on your clothes. You shall have as nice dresses as the other girls, too. Nancy Ellen will know exactly what to get you. But she never caught a glimpse of Polly's flushed dissatisfied face or the tidying of her lips that would have suggested to her, had she seen them, that Miss Polly felt perfectly capable of selecting the clothes she was to wear herself. Adam took his mother's trunk to the station in the afternoon. In the evening she held Polly on her knee while they drove to Dr. Grace. Kate thought the children would want to wait and see them take the train, but Adam said that would make them very late getting home. They had better leave that to Uncle Robert and go back soon, so very soon they were duly kissed and unduly cautioned, then started back down a side street that would not even take them through the heart of the town. Kate looked after them approvingly. Pretty good youngsters, she said. I told them to go and get some ice-cream, but you see they're saving the money and heading straight home. She turned to Robert. Can anything happen to them? she asked in evident anxiety. Rest in peace, Kate, laughed the doctor. You surely know that those youngsters are going to be eighteen in a few weeks. You've reared them carefully. Nothing can or will happen to them that would not happen right under your nose if you were at home. They will go from now on according to their inclinations. Kate looked at him sharply. What do you mean by that? she demanded. He laughed. Nothing serious, he said. Polly is half-baited, so she will marry in a year or two while Adam is all-baited, so he will remain steady as a rock of ages and strictly on the job. Go have your good time, and if I possibly can, I'll come after you. You'll do nothing of the kind, said Nancy Allen with finality.  If you feel that way about it, why do you leave me? he asked.  She was very beautiful in her smart travelling dress, while her eyes flashed as she spoke. The doctor looked at her approvingly. Good! he cried. I like a plucky woman. Go to have a good time, Nancy Allen, but don't go for that. I do wish she would believe that there isn't a thing the matter with the little woman. She's— I can go even further than that, said Nancy Allen dryly. I know there isn't a thing the matter with the little woman, except that she wants you to look as if you were running after her. I'd be safe in wagering a thousand dollars that when she hears I'm gone she will send for you before to-morrow evening. You may also wager this, he said. If she does I shall be very sorry, but I'm on my way to the country on an emergency call. Nancy Allen, I wish she wouldn't. Wouldn't go north or wouldn't see what every other living soul in Hartley sees? she asked, curtly. Then she stepped inside to put on her hat and gloves. Kate looked at the doctor in dismay. Oh, Robert! she said. I'd give you my word of honour, Kate, he said. If Nancy Allen only would be reasonable, a woman would see shortly that my wife is all the while to me. I never have been, and never shall be untrue to her. Does this satisfy you?" Of course, said Kate. I'll do all my power to talk Nancy Allen out of that, on this trip. Oh, if she only had children to occupy her time. That's the whole trouble in a nutshell, said the doctor, but she know there isn't a scarcity of children in the world. Never a day passes, but I see half a dozen who need me sorely, but Nancy Allen no child would do, unless she mothers it, and unfortunately none comes to her. Too bad! said Kate. I'm so sorry. Cheer her up, if you can, said the doctor. An hour later they were speeding north, Nancy Allen moody and distraught. Kate is frankly delighted as any child. The spring work was over, the crops were fine. Adam would surely have the premium week to take to the county fair in September. He would work unceasingly for his chance with Corn. He and Polly would be all right. She could see Polly waiting in the stable-yard while Adam unharnessed and turned out the horse. Kate kept watching Nancy Allen's discontented face. At last she said, Cheer up, child! There isn't a word of truth in it. I know it, said Nancy Allen. Then why take the way of all the world to start and keep people talking? asked Kate. I'm not doing a thing on earth but attending strictly to my own business, said Nancy Allen. That's exactly the trouble, said Kate. You're not. You let the little hypha have things all her own way. If it were my man, I'd love to misjude you, Robert Gray, who can stake your life. I should be doing something—several things, in fact. This is interesting, said Nancy Allen. For example, Kate had not given such a matter of thought. She looked from the window a minute, her lips firmly compressed. Then she spoke slowly. While for one thing I should become that woman's bosom companion, about seven times a week I should uncover her most aggravating weakness all unintentionally before the man in the case, at the same time keeping myself, strictly myself. I should keep steadily undoing and being what he first fell in love with. Lastly, since eighteen years have brought you no fulfilment in the desire of your heart, I should give it up and content myself and delight him by taking into my heart and home a couple of the most attractive tiny babes I could find, to a scarcely more trouble than one. You could have all the help you will accept. The children would never know the difference, if you took them as babes and soon you wouldn't either, while Robert would be delighted. If I were you, I'd give myself something to work for besides myself, and I'd give him so much to think about at home that charming young grass widows could go to grass. I believe you would, said Nancy Allen, wonderingly. I believe you would. You're my dried-eyed ward, said Kate. If I were married to a man like Robert Gray, I'd fight tooth and knell before I'd let him fall below his high ideals. It is much your job to keep him up, as it is his to keep himself. If God didn't make him a father, I would, and I'd keep him busy on the job if I had to adopt sixteen. Nancy Allen laughed as they went to their births. The next morning they awakened in cool Michigan country, and went speeding north among evergreen forests and clear lakes mirroring the pointed forest tops and blue sky, past slashing, splashing streams in which they could almost see the speckled trout darting over the beds of white sand. By late afternoon they had reached their destination and were in their rooms bathed, dressed, and ready for the dinner hour. In the evening they went to walking, coming back to the hotel tired and happy. After several days they began talking to people and making friends, going out and fishing and boating parties in the morning, driving or boating in the afternoon, and attending concerts or dances at night. Kate did not dance, but she loved to see Nancy Allen when she had a sufficiently tall, graceful partner, while as she watched the young people and thought out innocent and happy they seemed, she asked her sister if they could not possibly arrange for Adam and Polly to go to Hartley a night or two a week that winter and join the dancing class. Nancy Allen was frankly delighted, so Kate cautiously skirted the school question in such a manner that she soon had Nancy Allen asking if it could not be arranged. When that was decided Nancy Allen went to dance while Kate stood on the veranda watching her. The lights from the window fell strongly on Kate. She was wearing her evening dress of smoky grey soft fabric over shining silk with lots of dull blue velvet and gold lace here and there. She had dressed her hair carefully. She appeared what she was a splendid specimen of healthy, vigorous, clean womanhood. "'Pardon me, Mrs. Holt,' said a voice at her elbow. "'But there's only one head in this world like yours, so this, of course, must be you.' Kate Hart leapt and stood still. She turned slowly, then held out her hand, smiling at John Jardine, but saying not a word. He took her hand, and as he gripped it tightly he studded her frankly. "'Thank God for this,' he said fervently.  Only the Lord knows how delighted I am to see you here looking like this.' Kate smiled again. "'Come away,' he begged. "'Come out of this. Come walk a little away with me, and tell me who you are and how you are, and all the things I think of every day in my life, and now I must know. It's brigandage. Come, or I shall carry you.' "'Poo! You couldn't,' laughed Kate. "'Of course I'll come, and I don't own a secret. Ask anything you want to know. How good it is to see you. Your mother—' "'At rest,' he said. "'She never forgave me for what I did in the way I did it. She said it would bring disaster, and she was right. I thought it was not fair and honest to let you know the worst. I thought I was too old and too busy and too flourishing to repair neglected years at that date, but believe me, Kate, you wake me up. Try the hardest one you know, and if I can't spell it, I'll pay a thousand to your pet charity.' Kate laughed spontaneously. "'Are you an earnest?' she asked. "'I am incomprehensibly, immeasurably an earnest,' he said, gilding her down a narrow path to a shrub-enclosed, railed-in platform, built on the steep side of the high hill, where they faced the moon-white and waves, rolling softly in a dancing procession across the face of the great inland sea. Here he found a seat. "'I've nothing to tell,' he said. I'd asked my mother, so I went on without her. I learned to spell and a great many other things, and I'm still making money. I never forget you for a day. I never have loved and never shall love any other woman. That's all about me in a nutshell.  Tell me all night about you. Heaven's woman, I wish you could see yourself in that dress with the moon on your hair. Kate, you are the superbest thing. I always shall be mad about you. If only you could have had a little patience with me. I thought I couldn't learn, but of course I could. But proceed. I mustn't let myself go." Kate leaned back and looked a long time at the shining white waves and the deep blue sky. Then she turned to John Jardine and began to talk. She told him simply a few of the most presentable details of her life, how she had lost her money, then had been given her mother's farm, about the children, and how she now lived. He listened with deep interest, often interrupting to ask a question, and when she ceased talking he said half under his breath, and you're now free. Oh, the wonder of it! You're now free! Kate had that night to think about the remainder of her life. She always sincerely hoped that the moonlight did not bewitch her into leading the man beside her into saying things he seemed to take delight in saying. She had no idea what time it was. In fact she did not even care what Nancy Ellen thought or whether she would worry. The night was wonderful. John Jardine had now made a man of himself, worthy of all consideration. Being made love to by him was enchanting. She'd been occupied with the stern business of daily bread for so long that to be again clothed as other women, and frankly adored by such a man as John Jardine was soul-satisfying. What did she care who worried or what time it was? So I'm keeping you here until you'll be wet with these mists, John Jardine cried at last. Forgive me, Kate. I never did have any sense why you were concerned. I'll take you back now, but you must promise me to meet me here in the morning. Say it ten o'clock. I'll take you back now if you'll agree to that. There's no reason why I shouldn't, said Kate. And you're free. Free, he repeated. The veranda, halls, and ballroom were decided when they returned to the hotel. As Kate entered her room, Nancy Ellen sat up in bed and stared at her sleepily, but she was laughing in high good humour. She drew her watch from under her pillow and looked at it. Good gracious, Miss, she cried. Do you know it's almost three o'clock? I couldn't care in the least, said Kate. If it's four or five, I've had a perfectly heavenly time. Don't talk to me.  I think likely I've ruined it. What's the difference, demanded Ellen, largely? You can ruin half a dozen a day now, if you want to. What do you mean? asked Kate. Mean, laughed Nancy Ellen.  What should I mean? Go up ahead, Kate. You have earned your right to a good time. It isn't everybody who gets a second chance in this world. Tell me one thing, and I'll go to sleep in peace, and leave you to moon the remainder of the night, if you like. Did he say he still loved you? Still and yet, laughed Kate. As I remember his exact words were that he never had loved and never would love any other woman. Now are you satisfied? Nancy Ellen sprang from the bed and ran to Kate, gathering her in her strong arms. She hugged and kissed her ecstatically. Good! Good! Oh, you darling, she cried. There'll be nothing in the world she can't have. I just know he had gone on making money. He was crazy about you. Oh, Kate, this is too good. How did I ever think of coming here, and why didn't I think of it seven years ago? Kate, you must promise me you'll marry him before I let you go. I'll promise to think about it, said Kate, trying to free herself for despite circumstances and hour, her mind flew back to a thousand times, when only one kind word from Nancy Ellen would have saved her endless pain. It was endless, for it was burning in her heart that instant. At the prospect of wealth, position, and power, Nancy Ellen could smother her with caresses, but poverty, pain, and disgrace she had endured alone.  When are you to see him again? This morning, said Kate, you'd better let me get to bed, or I'll look aside. Then promise, said Nancy Ellen. Kate laid firm hands on the encircling arms. Now look here, she said shortly. It's about time to stop this nonsense. There's nothing I can promise you. I must have time to think. I've got not only myself but the children to think for, and I've only got till ten o'clock, so I'd better get at it. Kate's tone made Nancy Ellen step back. Kate, you haven't still got that letter in your mind, have you? She demanded. No, laughed Kate. I haven't. He offered me a thousand dollars if I could pronounce him a wide, he couldn't spell, and it's perfectly evident he's studded until he is exactly like anybody else. No, it's not that. Then what is it? Simpleton, there was nothing else, cried Nancy Ellen. Not so much at that time, but this is nearly twenty years later, and I have the fate of my children in my hands. I wish you'd go to bed and let me think, said Kate.  I know you. You'd better promise me now, and stick to it. For answer Kate turned off the light, but she did not go to bed. She sat beside the window, and she was still sitting there when dawn crept across the lake and began to light in a room. Then she stretched herself beside Nancy Ellen, who roused and looked at her. You're just coming to bed? she cried in wonder. At least she can't complain that I didn't think, said Kate, but Nancy Ellen found no comfort in what she said, or the way she said it. In fact, she arose when Kate did, feeling distinctly silky. As they returned to their room from breakfast, Kate laid out her hat and gloves, and began to get ready to keep her appointment. Nancy Ellen could endure the suspense no longer. Kate, she said in her gentlest tones, if you have no mercy on yourself, have some on your children. You have no right, positively no right to take such a chance away from them. Chance for what? asked Kate, tersely. Education, travel, leisure, every opportunity in the world, enumerated Nancy Ellen. Kate was handling her gloves, her forehead wrinkled, her eyes narrowed in concentration. That is one side of it, she said. The other is that neither my children nor I have in our blood breeding or mental cosmos the backgrounds it takes to make one happy with money in unlimited quantities. So far as I am concerned personally, I am happier this minute as I am than John Jardine's money could ever make me. I had a fierce struggle with that question long ago. Since I have had nearly eight years of the life I love, that is good for my soul. The struggles to leave it would be greater now. Polly would be happier, and get more from life as the wife of big gangling Henry Peters than she would as a millionaire's daughter. She would be very suitable in a farm-house parlor. She would be a ridiculous little figure at a bore, as for Adam he had turned this down quick and hard. Just you try him! cried Nancy Ellen. For one thing he won't be here at ten o'clock, said Kate, and for another, since it involves my becoming the wife of John Jardine, is—it isn't for Adam to decide. This decision is strictly my own. I merely mention the children, because if I married him, it would have an inevitable influence on their lives, an influence that I don't in the least cover either for them or for myself. Nancy Ellen can't be remotely conceived of such a thing as one human being in the world, who isn't satisfied that he has his share, and who believes in the depths of his soul that no man should be allowed to amass, and to use for his personal indulgence the amount of money that John Jardine does. Yes, I can! cried Nancy Ellen. When I see you and the way you act, you have chance after chance, but you seem to think that life requires of you a steady job of holding your nose to the grindstone. It was rather stubby to begin with.  All right, said Kate. Then I'll tell you definitely that I have no particular desire to marry anybody. I like my life immensely as I am living it. I am free, independent, and my children are in the element to which they were born, and why they can live naturally and spend their lives helping in the great work of feeding, clothing, and housing their fellow men. I have no desire to leave my job or take from theirs, to start a lazy, shiftless life of self-indulgence. I don't meddle much with the Bible, if I have a profound belief in it, and a large respect for it is the greatest book in the world, and it says, By the sweat of his brow shall man earn his bread, or worse that effect. I was born a sweater. I shall go on sweating until I die.   Look out!  Fire away, cried Nancy Allen, with tears in her eyes and voice, when I think what you've gone through. What do you know about what I've gone through? She demanded in a cold, even voice. Personally, I think you're not qualified to mention the subject. You'd better let it rest. Whatever it is, it's been of such a nature that I've come out of it knowing when I have my share and when I'm well off for me. If John Jardine wants to marry me, and will sell all he has, and come and work on the farm with me, I'll consider marrying him. To leave my life, and what I'd love to go to Chicago with him, I do not feel called on or inclined to do. No, I'll not marry him. In about fifteen minutes, I'll tell him so.  At least it was my life, said Kate. I didn't mess things for anyone else. Accept your children, said Nancy Allen. As she will, said Kate, rising, I'll not marry John Jardine, and the sooner I tell him so and get it over the better. Goodbye. I'll be back in half an hour. Kate walked slowly to the observation platform where she had been the previous evening with John Jardine, and leaning on the rail, she stood looking out over the water, and down the steep decliberty, thinking how best she could wired what she had to say. She was so absorbed she did not hear steps behind her or turn until a sharp voice said, You needn't wait any longer. He's not coming. Kate turned and glanced at the speaker, and then around to make sure she was the person being addressed. She could see no one else. The woman was small, light-haired, her face enamoured, dressed beyond all reason, and in a manner wholly out of place for mourning at a summer resort in Michigan. If you were speaking to me, will you kindly tell me whom you refer and give me the message you bring? Said Kate. I refer to Mr. John Jardine, Mrs. Holt, said the little woman, and then Kate saw that she was shaking and gripping her hands for self-control. Very well, said Kate, it will save me an unpleasant task if he doesn't come. Thank you, and she turned back to the water. You certainly didn't find anything unpleasant about being with him half last night, said the little woman. Kate turned again and looked down at the speaker. Then she laughed heartily. Well done, Jenny, she cried.  I never saw who you are. How do you do?  It's just dawning on me that very possibly from your dress and manner I should have called you Mrs. Jardine. Didn't he tell you, cried Jenny. He did not, said Kate. Your name was not mentioned. You said no word about being married. We've been married since a few weeks after Mrs. Jardine died. I taught him the things you turned him down for not knowing. I've studied him and waited on him and borne his children, and this is my reward. What are you going to do? Go back to the hotel when I finish with this view, said Kate. I find it most attractive by day as it was by night. Brazen, cried Mrs. Jardine. Choose your words carefully, said Kate. I was here first, since you have delivered your message, suppose you go and leave me to my view. Not till I get ready, said Mrs. Jardine. Perhaps it will help you to know that I was not twenty feet from you at any time last night, and that I stored where I could have touched you while my husband made love to you for hours. So, said Kate, I'm not at all surprised. That's exactly what I should have expected of you. But doesn't it clarify the situation any, at least for me, when I tell you that Mr. Jardine gave me no faintest hint that he was married? If you heard all we said, you surely remember that you were not mentioned. Mrs. Jardine sat down suddenly and gripped her little hands. Kate studied her intently. She wondered what she would look like when her hair was being washed. At this thought, she smiled broadly. That made the other woman frantic. You can well laugh at me, she said. I made the banner fall of the ages of myself when I schemed to marry him. I knew he loved you. He told me so.  I thought he didn't know himself as I knew him. He was so grand to his mother. I thought if I taught him and helped him back to self-respect and gave him children, he must and would love me. Well, I was mistaken. He does not and never will. Every day he thinks of you. Not a night, but he speaks your name. He thinks all things can be done with money. So do you, Jenny, interrupted Kate. Well, I'll show you that this can't. Didn't you hear McSaulton because you were now free, cried Jenny? He thinks he'll give me a home. The children are big income. Then secure his freedom and marry you. Oh, don't talk such rot, cried Kate. John Charting thinks no such thing. He wouldn't insult me by thinking I thought such a thing. That thought belongs where it sprang from, right in your little cramped, blond brain, Jenny. You wouldn't. Are you so sure you wouldn't? cried Jenny, leaning forward with hands clutched closely. I should say not, said Kate. The last thing on earth I wanted some other woman's husband. Now look here, Jenny. I'll tell you the plain truth. I thought last night that John Charting was as free as I was, or I shouldn't have been here with him. I thought he was asking me again to marry him, and I was not asleep last night, thinking it over. I came here to tell him that I would not. Does that satisfy you? Satisfy, cried Jenny.  It's always the way, said Kate, when people insist on getting out of their class. You would have gotten ten times more from life as a wife of a village merchant or a farmer, than you have as a wife of a rich man. Since you're married to him and their children, there's nothing for you to do but finish your job as best you can. Rest your head easy about me. I wouldn't touch John Charting married to you. I wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole. Divorce from you. Get that clear in your head, and do please go. Kate turned again to the water, but when she was sure Jenny was far away, she sat down suddenly and asked with the late, well, wouldn't that freeze you? End of Chapter 23. Recording by Ashley Jane. Chapter 24 Of A Daughter of the Land This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Brigid Gage. A Daughter of the Land by Jean Stratton Porter. Chapter 24 Polly Tries Her Wings Finally, Kate wandered back to the hotel and went to the room to learn if Nancy Ellen was there. She was, and seemed very much perturbed. The first thing she did was to hand Kate a big white envelope, which she opened and found to be a few lines from John Jardine, explaining that he had been unexpectedly called away on some very important business. He reiterated his delight in having seen her and hoped for the same pleasure at no very distant date. Kate read it and tossed it on the dresser. As she did so, she saw a telegram lying opened among Nancy Ellen's toilet articles, and thought with pleasure that Robert was coming. She glanced at her sister for confirmation, and saw that she was staring from the window, as if she were in doubt about something. Kate thought probably she was still upset about John Jardine, and that might as well be gotten over. So she said, That note was not delivered promptly. It is from John Jardine. I should have had it before I left. He was called away on important business, and wrote to let me know he would not be able to keep his appointment. But without his knowledge, he had a representative on the spot. Nancy Ellen seemed interested. So Kate proceeded. You couldn't guess in a thousand years. I'll have to tell you spang. It was his wife. His wife cried Nancy Ellen. But you said. So I did, said Kate, and so he did. Since the wife loomed on the horizon, I remembered that he said no word to me of marriage. He merely said he had always loved me and always would. Merely scoffed Nancy Ellen. Merely? Just merely, said Kate. He didn't lay a finger on me. He didn't ask me to marry him. He just merely met me after a long separation, and told me that he still loved me. The brute, said Nancy Ellen. He should be killed. I can't see it, said Kate. He did nothing ungentlemanly. If we jumped to wrong conclusions, that was not his fault. I doubt if he remembered, or thought at all, of his marriage. It wouldn't be much to forget. I am fresh from an interview with his wife. She's an old acquaintance of mine. I once secured her for his mother's maid. You've heard me speak of her. Impossible! John Jardine would not do that, cried Nancy Ellen. There's a family to prove it, said Kate. Jenny admits that she studied him, taught him, made herself indispensable to him, and a few weeks after his mother's passing, married him. After he had told her he did not love her and never could. I feel sorry for him. Sure, poor defrauded creature, said Nancy Ellen. What about her? Nothing so far as I can see, said Kate. By her own account she was responsible. She should have kept in her own class. All right, that settles Jenny, said Nancy Ellen. I saw you notice the telegram from Robert. Now go on and settle me. Is he coming? Asked Kate. No, he's not coming, said Nancy Ellen. Has he eloped with the widow? Asked Kate flippantly. He merely telegraphs that he thinks it would be wise for us to come home on the first train, said Nancy Ellen. For all I can make of that, the elopement might quite as well be in your family as mine. Kate held out her hand. Nancy Ellen laid the message in it. Kate studied it carefully. Then she raised steady eyes to her sister's face. Do you know what I should do about this? she asked. Catch the first train, of course, she said. Far be it from me, said Kate. I should at once telegraph him that his message was not clear, to kindly particularize. We've only got settled. We're having a fine time, especially right now. Why should we pack up and go home? I can't think of any possibility that could arise that would make it necessary for him to send for us. Can you? I can think of two things, said Nancy Ellen. I can think of a very pretty confiding little cat of a woman who is desperately infatuated with my husband. And I can think of two children, fathered by George Holt, who might possibly, just possibly, have enough of his blood in their veins to be like him, given opportunity. Alone for a week there is barely a faint possibility that you might be needed. Alone for the same week there is the faintest possibility that Robert is in a situation where I could help him. Kate drew a deep breath. Isn't life the most amusing thing, she asked. I had almost forgotten my wings. I guess we'd better take them and fly straight home. She arose and called the office to learn about trains, and then began packing her trunk. As she folded her dresses and stuffed them in rather carelessly, she said, I don't know why I got it into my head that I could go away and have a few days of a good time without something happening at home. But you are not sure anything has happened at home. This call may be for me, said Nancy Ellen. It may, but this is July, said Kate. I've been thinking hard and fast. It's probable I can put my finger on the spot. Nancy Ellen paused, and standing erect, she looked questioningly at Kate. The weak link in my chain at the present minute is Polly, said Kate. I didn't pay much attention at the time, because there wasn't enough of it really to attract attention. But since I think, I can recall signs of growing discontent in Polly lately. She fussed about the work and resented being left in the house while I went to the fields, and she had begun looking up the road to Peter so much that her head was slightly turned toward the north most of the time. With me away. What do you think? Demanded Nancy Ellen. Think very likely she has decided that she'll sacrifice her chance for more schooling and to teach, for the sake of marrying a big, green country boy named Hank Peters, said Kate. Thereby keeping in her own class, suggested Nancy Ellen. Kate left shortly. Exactly, she said. I didn't aspire to anything different for her, from what she has had. But I wanted her to have more education, and wait until she was older. Marriage is too hard work for a girl to begin at less than 18. If it is Polly, and she has gone away with Hank Peters, they've no place to go but his home. And if ever she thought I worked her too hard, she'll find out she has played most of her life, when she begins taking orders from Mrs. Amanda Peters. You know her. She never can keep a girl more than a week, and she's always wanting one. If Polly has tackled that job, God help her. Cheer up. We're in that delightful state of uncertainty, where Polly may be blacking the cookstove, like a dutiful daughter, while Robert has decided that he'd like a divorce, said Nancy Ellen. Nancy Ellen, there's nothing in that, so far as Robert is concerned. He told me so the evening we came away, said Kate. Nancy Ellen banged down a trunk lid, and said, Well, I am getting to the place where I don't much care, whether there is or there is not. Well, a whopper, laughed Kate, but cheer up, this is my trouble. I feel it in my bones, wish I knew for sure. If she's eloped, and it's all over with, we might as well stay and finish our visit. If she's married, I can't unmarry her, and I wouldn't if I could. How are you going to apply your philosophy to yourself? asked Nancy Ellen. By letting time and Polly take their course, said Kate. This is a place where parents are of no account whatever. They stand back, until it's time to clean up the wreck, and then they get theirs, usually theirs, and several of someones else in the bargain. As the train stopped at Hartley, Kate sat where she could see Robert on the platform. It was only a fleeting glance, but she thought she had never seen him look so wholesome, so vital, so much a man to be desired. No wonder a woman lacking in fine scruples would covet him, thought Kate. To Nancy Ellen, she said hastily, The trouble's mine, Robert's on the platform. Where? demanded Nancy Ellen, peering from the window. Kate smiled as she walked from the car and confronted Robert. Get it over quickly, she said. It's Polly? He nodded. Did she remember to call on the squire, she asked? Oh yes, said Robert. It was at Peters, and they had the whole neighborhood in. Kate swayed slightly, then lifted her head, her eyes blazing. She had come, feeling not altogether guiltless, and quite prepared to overlook a youthful elopement. The insult of having her only daughter given a wedding at the home of the groom, about which the whole neighborhood would be laughing at her, was a different matter. Slowly the high collar faded from Kate's face, as she stepped back. Excuse me, Nancy Ellen, she said. I didn't mean to deprive you of the chance of even speaking to Robert. I knew this was for me. I was over-anxious to learn what choice morsel life had in store for me now. It's one that will be bitter on my tongue to the day of my death. Oh, Kate, I am so sorry that if this had to happen, it happened in just that way, said Nancy Ellen. But don't mind, they're only foolish kids. Who, Mr. and Mrs. Peters, and the neighbors who attended the wedding? Foolish kids. Oh no, said Kate. Where's Adam? I told him I'd bring you out, said Robert. Why didn't he send for you, or do something, demanded Kate. I'm afraid the facts are that Polly lied to him, said Robert. She told him that Peters were having a party, and Mrs. Peters wanted her to come early and help her with the supper. They had the magistrate out from town and had the ceremony an hour before Adam got there. When he arrived and found out what had happened, he told Polly and the Peters family exactly his opinion of them, and then he went home and turned on all the lights and sat where he could be seen on the porch all evening as a protest in evidence of his disapproval, I take it. Slowly the color began to creep back into Kate's face. The good boy, she said, in commendation. He called me at once, and we talked it over, and I sent you the telegram. But as he said, it was done, there was no use trying to undo it. One thing will be a comfort to you. All of your family, and almost all of your friends, left as soon as Adam spoke his piece, and they found it was a wedding, and not a party to which they'd been invited. It was a shabby trick of Peters. Kate assented. It was because I felt instinctively that Mrs. Peters had it in her to do tricks like that, that I never would have anything to do with her, said Kate, more than to be passing civil. This is how she gets her revenge, and her hired girl, for no wages I'll be bound. It's a shabby trick. I'm glad Adam saved me the trouble of telling her so. Robert took Nancy Ellen home, and then drove debates corners with Kate. In a few days now, I hope we can see each other oftener, he said, on the way. I got a car yesterday, and it doesn't seem so complicated. Any intelligent person can learn to drive it in a short time. I like it so much, and I knew I'd have such constant use for it that, now this is a secret, I ordered another for Nancy Ellen, so she can drive about town, and run out here as she chooses. Will she be pleased? She'll be overjoyed. That was dear of you, Robert. Only one thing in the world would please her more, said Kate. What's that? asked Robert. Kate looked him in the eye, and smiled. Oh, he said, but there is nothing in it. Except talk, that worries and humiliates Nancy Ellen, said Kate. Kate, he said suddenly, if you were in my shoes, what would you do? The next time I got a phone call, or a note from Mrs. Southie, and she was having one of those terrible headaches, I should say, I'm dreadfully sorry, Mrs. Southie, but a breath of talk that might be unpleasant for you, and for my wife has come to my ear, so I know you'll think it wiser to call Dr. Mills, who can serve you better than I. And a great rush this afternoon, good-bye. That is what I should do, Robert, and I should do it quickly, and emphatically. Then I should interest Nancy Ellen in her car for a time, and then I should keep my eyes open, and the first time I found in my practice a sound baby with a clean bill of health and no encumbrances. I should have it dressed attractively, and bestow it on Nancy Ellen, as casually as I did the car. And in the meantime, love her plenty, Robert. You can never know how she feels about this, and it's in no way her fault. She couldn't possibly have known. While you would have married her just the same if you had known. Isn't that so? It's quite so, Kate. I think your head is level, and I'll follow your advice to the letter. Now you have healed my lame leg, as the dog said in McGuffie's third. What can I do for this poor dog? Nothing, said Kate. I've got to hold still and take it. Life will do the doing. I don't want to croak, but remember my word. It will do plenty. We'll come often, he said, as he turned to go back. Kate slowly walked up the path, dreading to me Adam. He evidently had been watching for her, for he came around the corner of the house, took her arm, and they walked up the steps and into the living room together. She looked at him. He looked at her. At last he said. I'm afraid that a good deal of this is my fault, mother. How so? asked Kate, tersely. I guess I betrayed your trust in me, said Adam, heavily. Of course I did all my work and attended to things, but in the evening after work was over, the very first evening on the way home, we stopped to talk to Henry at the gate, and he got in and came on down. We could see Millie at their gate, and I wanted her. I wanted her so much, mother, and it was going to be lonesome. So all of us went on there, and she came up here, and we sat on the porch, and then I took her home, and then left Henry and Pally together. The next night Henry took us to town for a treat, and we were all together, and the next night Millie asked us all there, and so it went. It was all as open and innocent as it could be. Only Henry and Pally were in awful earnest, and she was bound she wouldn't be sent to town to school. Why didn't she tell me so? She never objected a word to me, said Kate. Well, mother, you are so big, and Pally was so little, and she was used to minding. Yes, this looks like it, said Kate. Well, go on. That's all, said Adam. It was only that instead of staying at home and attending to our own affairs, we were somewhere every night, or Millie and Henry were here. That is where I was to blame. I'm afraid you'll never forgive me, mother. But I didn't take good care of sister. I left her to Henry Peters, while I tried to see how nice I could be to Millie. I didn't know what Pally and Henry were planning, honest, I didn't, mother. I would have told Uncle Robert and sent for you if I had.  I was furious when I found they were married. I told Mr. and Mrs. Peters what they were, right before the company, and then I came straight home, and all the family, and York's, and most of the others came straight away. Only a few stayed to the supper.  Mother, if she had told you, you would have let her stay at home this winter, and got her clothing, and let her be married here, when she was old enough, wouldn't you? Certainly, said Kate, all the world knows that. Bates all marry, and they all marry young. Don't blame yourself, Adam. If Pally had it in her system to do this, and she did, or she wouldn't have done it, the thing would have happened when I was here, and right under my nose. It was a scheme all planned and ready before I left. I know that now. Let it go. There's nothing we can do until things begin to go wrong, as they always do in this kind of wedding. Then we shall get our call. In the meantime, you mustn't push your sister away. She may need you sooner than you'd think. And will you just please have enough confidence in my common sense and love for you, to come to me first, when you feel that there's a girl who's indispensable to your future, Adam? Yes, I will, said Adam. And it won't be long, and the girl will be Millie York. All right, said Kate gravely. Whenever the time comes, let me know about it. Now see if you can find me something to eat, till I lay off my hat and wash. It was a long, hot ride, and I'm tired. Since there's nothing I can do, I wish I had stayed where I was. No, I don't either. I see Joy coming over the hill for Nancy Ellen. Why is Joy coming to Nancy Ellen? Asked the boy, pausing an instant. Before he started to the kitchen. Oh, because she's had such a very tough, uncomfortable time with life, said Kate, that in the very nature of things Joy should come her way. The boy stood mystified, until the expression on his face so amused Kate, that she began laughing. Then he understood. That's why it's coming, said Kate. And here's how it's coming. She is going to get rid of a bothersome worry that's troubling her head. And she's going to have a very splendid gift. But it's a deep secret. Then you'll have to whisper it, said Adam, going to her, and holding a convenient ear. Kate rested her hands on his shoulder a minute.  Then she whispered the secret. Crikey, isn't that grand? cried the boy, backing away to stare at her. Yes, it is so grand. I'm going to try it ourselves, said Kate. We've a pretty snug balance in the bank, and I think it would be great fun evenings, or when we want to go to town in a hurry, and the horses are tired. Adam was slowly moving toward the kitchen, his face more of a study than before. Mother, he said, as he reached the door, I be hanged if I know how to take you. I thought you'd just raise Kane over what Polly has done. But you act so sane and sensible, some way it doesn't seem so bad as it did, and I feel more sorry for Polly than like going back on her. And are you truly in earnest about a car? I'm going to think very seriously about it this winter, and I feel almost sure it will come true by early spring, said Kate. But who said anything about going back on Polly? Oh, Mrs. York and all the neighbors said that you'd never forgive her, and that she'd never darken your door again, and things like that, until I was almost crazy, answered Adam. Kate smiled grimly. Adam, she said, I had seven years of that darken your door business myself. It's a mighty cold, hard proposition. It's a wonder the neighbors didn't remember that. Maybe they did, and thought I was so much of a bait's leopard that I couldn't change my spots. If they are watching me, they will find that I am not spotted. I'm sorry and humiliated over what Polly has done, but I'm not going to gnash my teeth and tear my hair, and wail in public or in private. I'm trying to keep my real mean spot so deep it can't be seen. If ever I get my chance, Adam, you watch me pay back, Mrs. Peters. That is the size and location of my spot, but it's far deeper than my skin.  Adam sat close while Kate ate her supper. Then he helped her unpack her trunk and hang away her dresses, and then they sat on the porch talking for a long time. When at last they arose to go to bed, Kate said. Adam, about Polly. First time you see her, if she asks, tell her she left home of her own free will and accord, and in her own way, which by the way happens to be a whole way, but you needn't mention that. I think by this time she has learned, or soon she will learn that, and whenever she wants to come back and face me to come right ahead, I can stand it if she can. Can you get that straight? Adam said he could. He got that straight, and so much else that by the time he finished, Polly realized that both he and her mother had left her in the house to try to shield her. That if she had told what she wanted in a straightforward manner, she might have had a wedding outfit prepared and been married from her home at a proper time and in a proper way, and without putting her mother to shame before the community. Polly was very much ashamed of herself by the time Adam finished. She could not find it in her heart to blame Henry. She knew he was no more to blame than she was. But she did store up a grievance against Mr. and Mrs. Peters. They were older, and had had experience with the world. They might have told Polly what she should do, instead of having done everything in their power to make her do what she had done, bribing, coaxing, urging, all in the direction of her inclinations. At heart Polly was big enough to admit that she had followed her inclinations without thinking at all what the result would be. Adam never would have done what she had.   Now remember, be careful, and like caution on the lips of her mother. The more Polly thought, the worse she felt. The worse she felt, the more the whole Peters family tried to comfort her. She was violently homesick in a few days. But Adam had said she was to come when she could face her mother. And Polly suddenly found that she would rather undertake to run ten miles than to face her mother. So she began a process of hiding from her. If she sat on the porch and saw her mother coming, she ran in the house. She would go to no public place where she might meet her. For a few weeks she lived a life of working for Mrs. Peters, from dawn to dark, under the stimulus of what a sweet girl she was, how splendidly she did things, how fortunate Henry was. Interspersed with continual kissing, padding, and petting, all very new and unusual to Polly. By that time she was so very ill, she could not lift her head from the pillow half the day. But it was to the credit of the badly disappointed Peters family that they kept up the petting. When Polly grew better, she had no desire to go anywhere.  Every night found Polly so tired she staggered to bed early as possible. Every morning found her confronting the same round, which from the nature of her condition, every morning, was more difficult for her. Kate and Adam followed their usual routine, with only the alterations required by the absence of Polly. Kate now prepared breakfast while Adam did the feeding and milking, washed the dishes, and made the beds while he hitched up, then went to the field with him. On rainy days he swept and she dusted. Always they talked over and planned everything they did, in the house or a field. Always they schemed, contrived, economized, and worked to attain the shortest, easiest end to any result they strove for. They were growing in physical force. They were efficient. They attended their own affairs strictly. Their work was always done on time, their place in order, their deposits at the bank frequent. As the cold days came they missed Polly, but scarcely ever mentioned her. They had more books and read and studied together, while every few evenings Adam picked up his hat and disappeared. But soon he and Millie came in together. Then they all read, popped corn, made taffy, knitted, often Kate was called away by some sewing or upstairs work she wanted to do, so that the youngsters had plenty of time alone to revel in the wonder of life's greatest secret. To Kate's ears came the word that Polly would be a mother in the spring, that the Peters family were delighted and anxious for the child to be a girl, as they found six males sufficient for one family. Polly was looking well, feeling fine, was a famous little worker, and seldom sat on a chair because some member of the Peters family usually held her.  She's not like us, said Kate. She'll take all she can get, and call for more. She's a long time coming, but I'm glad she's well and happy. But in comb, said Adam, she isn't so very well. She's white as putty, and there are great big dark hollows under her eyes, and she's always panting for breath, like she had been running. Nearly every time I pass there, I see her out scrubbing the porches, or feeding the chickens, or washing windows, or something. You bet Mrs. Peters has got a fine hired girl now, and she's smiling all over about it. She really has something to smile about, said Kate. To Polly's ears went the word that Adam and her mother were having a fine time together, always together, and that they had Milly York up three times a week to spend the evening, and that Milly said that it passed her to see why Polly ran away from Mrs. Holt. She was the grandest woman alive, and if she had any running to do in her neighborhood, she would run to her, and not from her. Whereupon Polly closed her lips firmly, and looked black, but not before she had said, well, if mother had done just one night a week of that entertaining for Henry and me, we wouldn't have run from her either. Polly said nothing until April. Then Kate answered the telephone one day, and a few seconds later was ringing for Adam, as if she had pulled on the bell. He came running, and soon was on his way to Peter's with a single buggy, with instructions to drive slowly and carefully, and on no account to let Polly slip getting out. The Peter's family had all gone to bury an aunt in the neighborhood, leaving Polly alone for the day, and Polly at once called up her mother, and said she was dying to see her, and if she couldn't come home for the day, she would die soon, and be glad of it. Kate knew the visit should not have been made at that time and in that way, but she knew that Polly was under a dangerous, nervous strain. She herself would not go to Peter's, and Mrs. Peter's absence. She did not know what else to do. As she waited for Polly, she thought of the many things she would say. When she saw her, she took her in her arms, and almost carried her into the house. And she said nothing at all, save how glad she was to see her. And she did nothing at all, except to try with all her might to comfort and please her. For to Kate, Polly did not seem like a strong, healthy girl approaching maternity. She appeared like a very sick woman, who sorely needed attention, while a few questions made her so sure of it that she at once called Robert. He gave both of them all the comfort he could, but what he told Nancy Ellen was, Polly has had no attention whatever. She wants me, and I'll have to go, but it's a case I'd like to sidestep. I'll do all I can, but the time is short. Oh, Lord! said Nancy Ellen. Is it one more for Kate? Yes, said Robert. I am very much afraid it's one more for Kate. End of Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Of A Daughter of the Land This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information, or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org, recording by Bridget Gage. A Daughter of the Land by Jean Stratton Porter Chapter 25 One More for Kate Polly and Kate had a long day together, while Adam was about the house much of the time. Both of them said and did everything they could think of to cheer and comfort Polly, whose spirit seemed most variable. One minute she would be laughing and planning for the summer gaily, the next she would be gloomy and depressed, and declaring she never would live through the birth of her baby. If she had appeared well, this would not have worried Kate, but she looked even sicker than she seemed to feel. She was thin, while her hands were hot and tremulous. As the afternoon went on, and time to go came nearer, she grew more and more despondent, until Kate proposed watching when the Peters family came home, calling them up, and telling them that Polly was there, would remain all night, and that Henry should come down. Polly flatly vetoed the proposition, but she seemed to feel much better after it had been made. She was like herself again for a short time, and then she turned to Kate, and said suddenly, Mother, if I don't get over this, will you take my baby? Kate looked at Polly intently. What she saw stopped the ready answer that was on her lips. She stood, thinking deeply.  Mother, I haven't asked you to forgive me for the light I put you in before the neighbors, said Polly, because I knew you couldn't honestly do it, and wouldn't lie to say you did. I don't know what made me do that. I was tired staying alone at the house so much. I was wild about Henry. I was bound I wouldn't leave him and go away to school. I thought it would just settle everything easily and quickly. I never once thought of how it would make you look and feel. Honestly, I didn't, Mother. You believe me, don't you? Yes, I believe you, said Kate. It was an awful thing for me to do, said Polly. I was foolish and crazy, and I suppose I shouldn't say it, but I certainly did have a lot of encouragement from the Peters family. They all seemed to think it would be a great joke, that it wouldn't make any difference, and all that, so I just did it. I knew I shouldn't have done it. But, Mother, you'll never know the fight I've had all my life to keep from telling stories and sneaking. I hated your everlasting, now be careful, but when I hated it most I needed it at worst, and I knew it when I grew older. If only you had been here to say, now be careful, just once, I never would have done it. But, of course, I couldn't have you to keep me straight all my life. All I can say is that I'd give my life, and never whimper, if I could be back home as I was this time last year, and have a chance to do things your way. But that is past, and I can't change it. What I came for today, and what I want to know now is, if I go, will you take my baby? Polly, you know the Peters family wouldn't let me have it, said Kate. If it's a boy, they wouldn't want it, said Polly. Neither would you, for that matter. If it's a girl, they'll fight for it, but it won't do them any good. All I want to know is, will you take it? Of course I would, Polly, said Kate. Since I have your word, I'll feel better, said Polly. And, mother, you needn't be afraid of it. It will be all right. I have thought about it so much, I have it all figured out. It's going to be a girl, and it's going to be exactly like you, and its name is going to be Catherine Eleanor.  There won't be the taint of grandmother in it, that there isn't me. You needn't be afraid. I quit sneaking forever, when Adam told me what I had done to you. I have gone straight as a dart-mother, every single minute since mother, truly I have. Kate sat down suddenly, an awful sickness in her heart.  Oh, I've been all right, said Polly. I've been almost petted and loved to death. But, mother, there never should be the amount of work attached to living that there is in that house. It's never ending, it's intolerable. Mrs. Peters just goes until she drops, and then instead of sleeping, she lies awake, planning some hard, foolish, unnecessary thing to do next. Maybe she can stand it herself, but I'm tired out. I'm going to sit down, and not budge, to do another stroke until after the baby comes. And then I am going to coax Henry to rent a piece of land, and move to ourselves. Kate took heart. That will be fine, she cried. That will be the very thing. I'll ask the boys to keep their eyes open for any chance for you. You needn't take any bother about it, said Polly, because that isn't what is going to happen. All I want to be sure of now is that you and Adam will take my baby. I'll see to the rest. How will you see to it, Polly? asked Kate gently. Well, it's already seemed to, for matter of that, said Polly conclusively. I've known for quite a while that I was sick, but I couldn't make them do anything but kiss me and laugh at me, until I am so ill that I know better how I feel than anybody else. I got tired being laughed at, and put off about everything. So one day in heartly, while Mother Peters was shopping, I just went into the lawyer grandmother always went to, and told him all about what I wanted. He has the papers made out all right and proper. So when I send for Uncle Robert, I'm going to send for him, too. And soon as the baby comes, I'll put in its name and sign it, and make Henry. And then if I have to go, you won't have a bit of trouble.  She was speechless for a time. Then to break the strain, she said, My soul! Did you really, Polly? I guess there is more baits in you than I had thought. Oh, there's some baits in me, said Polly. There's enough to make me live until I sign that paper, and make Henry Peter sign it, and send Mr. Tomlin's to you with it and the baby. I can do that, because I'm going to. Ten days later, she did exactly what she had said she would. Then she turned her face to the wall, and went into a convulsion, out of which she never came.  Adam drove to Hartley to deposit one more paper, the most precious of all, in the safety deposit box. Kate and Adam mourned too deeply to talk about it. They went about their daily rounds silently, each busy with regrets and self-investigations. They watched each other carefully, were kinder than they ever had been to everyone they came in contact with. The baby they frankly adored. Kate had reared her own children, with small misgivings, quite casually, in fact, but her heart was torn to the depths about this baby. Life never would be even what it had been before Polly left them, for into her going, there entered an element of self-reproach, and continual self-condemnation. Adam felt that if he had been less occupied with Millie York, and had taken proper care of his sister, he would not have lost her. Kate had less time for recrimination, because she had the baby. Look for a good man to help you this summer, Adam, she said. The baby is full of poison, which can be eliminated only slowly. If I don't get it out before teething, I'll lose her, and then we never shall hear the last from the Peters family. Adam consigned to the Peters family to a location he thought suitable for them on the instant. He spoke with unusual bitterness, because he had heard that the Peters family were telling that Polly had grieved herself to death, while his mother had engineered a scheme whereby she had stolen the baby. Occasionally a word drifted to Kate here and there, until she realized much of what they were saying. At first she grieved too deeply to pay any attention, but as the summer went on, and the baby flourished and grew fine and strong, and she had time in the garden, she began to feel better, grief began to wear away, as it always does. By mid-summer the baby was in short clothes, sitting in a high chair, which, if Miss Baby only had known it, was a throne before witchnell, her two adoring subjects. Polly had said the baby would be like Kate. Its hair and coloring were like hers, but it had the brown eyes of its father, and enough of his facial lines to tone down the two generous Bates features. When the baby was five months old, it was too pretty for adequate description.  One of the questions Kate and Adam discussed most frequently was where they would send her to college. While one they did not discuss was how sick her stomach teeth would make her. They merely lived in mortal dread of that. Convulsion was a word that held a terror for Kate above any other in the medical books. The baby had a good, formal name, but no one ever used it. Adam, on first lifting the blanket, had fancied the child, resembled its mother, and had called her Little Pile. The name clung to her. Kate could not call such a tiny marsal, either Kate or Catherine. She liked Little Pile better. The baby had three regular visitors. One was her father. He was not fond of Kate. Little Pile suited him. He expressed his feeling by bringing gifts of toys, candy, and unsuitable clothes. Kate kept these things in evidence when she saw him coming, and swept them from sight when he went, for she had the good sense not to antagonize him. Nancy Ellen came almost every day, proudly driving her new car, and with the light of a new joy on her face. She never said anything to Kate, but Kate knew what had happened. Nancy Ellen came to see the baby. She brought it lovely and delicate little shoes, embroidered dresses and hoods, cloaks, and blankets. One day, as she sat holding it, she said to Kate, Isn't the baby a dreadful bother to you? You're not getting half your usual work done. No, I'm doing unusual work, said Kate lightly. Adam is hiring a man who does my work very well in the fields. There isn't money that would hire me to let anyone else take my job indoors right now. A slow red crept into Nancy Ellen's cheeks. She had meant to be diplomatic, but diplomacy never worked well with Kate. As Nancy Ellen often said, Kate understood a sledgehammer better. Nancy used the hammer. Her face flushed, her arms closed tightly. Give me this baby, she demanded. Kate looked at her in helpless amazement. Give it to me, repeated Nancy Ellen. She's a gift to me, said Kate, slowly. One the Peter's family are searching heaven and earth to find an excuse to take from me. I hear they've been to a lawyer twice already. I wouldn't give her up to save my soul alive, for myself. For you, if I would let you have her, they would not leave you in possession a day. Are they really trying to get her? asked Nancy Ellen, slowly loosening her grip. They are, said Kate. They sent a lawyer to get a copy of the papers, to see if they could pick a flaw on them. Can they? cried Nancy Ellen. God knows, said Kate, slowly. I hope not. Mr. Tomlens is the best lawyer in Hartley. He says not. He says Henry put his neck in the noose when he signed the papers. The only chance I can see for him would be to plead undue influence. When you look at her, you can't blame him for wanting her. I've two hopes, one that his mother will not want the extra work, the other that the next girl he selects will not want the baby. If I can keep them going a few months more with a teething scare, I hope they will get over wanting her. If they do, then may we have her? asked Nancy Ellen. Kate threw out her hands. Take my eyes or my hands or my feet, she said, but leave me my heart. Nancy Ellen went soon after, and did not come again for several days. Then she began coming as usual, so that the baby soon knew her, and left in high glee when she appeared. Dr. Gray often stopped in passing to see her. If he was in great haste, he hallowed at the gate to ask if she was all right. Kate was thankful for this, more than thankful for the telephone, and car that would bring him in fifteen minutes day or night if he were needed. But he was not needed. Little pal threw and grew fat and rosy, for she ate measured food, slept by the clock, in a sanitary bed, and was abathed, splendidly cared for baby. When Kate's family and friends left, she paid not the slightest teet. Laugh away, she said, I've got something to fight with this baby. I don't propose for the battle to come and find the chances against me, because I'm unprepared. With scrupulous care, Kate watched over the child, always putting her first, the house and land afterward. One day she looked up the road and saw Henry Peter's coming. She had been expecting Nancy Ellen. She had finished bathing the baby, and making her especially attractive in a dainty lace ruffled dress, with blue ribbons and blue shoes that her sister had brought on her latest trip. Little pal was a wonderful picture, for her eyes were always growing bigger, her cheeks pinker, her skin fairer, her hair longer, and more softly curling. At first thought Kate had been inclined to snatch off the dress, and changed to one of the cheap, ready-made ginghams Henry brought. But the baby was so lovely as she was, she had not the heart to spoil the picture, while Nancy Ellen might come any minute. So she began putting things in place, while Little pal set crowing and trying to pick up a sunbeam that fell across her tray. Her father came to the door and stood looking at her. Suddenly he dropped in a chair, covered his face with his hands, and began to cry, in deep, shuttering sobs. Kate stood still in wonderment. At last she seated herself before him and said gently, Won't you tell me about it, Henry? Henry struggled for self-control. He had looked at the baby longingly. Finally he said, It's pretty tough to give up a baby like that, Mrs. Holt. She's my little girl. I wish God had struck my right hand with palsy, when I went to sign those papers. Oh, no you don't, Henry, said Kate, swavly.  And is it any worse for me to have your girl, in spite of the real desires and dictates of your heart, than it was for you to have mine? And you didn't take the intelligent care of my girl that I'm taking of yours, either. A doctor and a little right treatment at the proper time would have saved Polly to rear her own baby. But there's no use to go into that. I was waiting for Polly to come home of her own accord as she left it. And while I waited, a poison crept into her system that took her. I never shall feel right about it. Neither shall you. No, I should say I won't, said Henry emphatically. I never thought of anything being the matter with Polly that wouldn't be all over when the baby came. I know you didn't, Henry, said Kate. I know how much you would have done and how gladly if you had known. There is no use going into that. We are both very much to blame. We must take our punishment. Now what is this I hear about you having been to see lawyers and trying to find a way to set aside the adoption papers you signed? Let's have a talk and see what we can arrive at. Tell me all about it. So Henry told Kate how he had loved Polly, how he felt guilty of her death, how he longed for and wanted her baby, how he had signed the paper which Polly put before him so unexpectedly to humor her, because she was very ill, but he had not dreamed that she could die, how he did not feel that he should be bound by that signature now. Kate listened with the deepest sympathy, assenting to most he said until he was silent. Then she sat thinking a long time. At last she said, Henry, if you and Polly had waited until I came home and told me what you wanted and how you felt, I should have gotten her ready and given you a customary wedding, and helped you start a life that I think would have saved her to you and to me. That is past but the fact remains.  I'm her over losing my daughter as I did. We are about even on the past, don't you think? I suppose we are, he said, heavily. That being agreed, said Kate, let us look to the future. You want the baby now. I can guess how much, by how much I want her myself. I know your point of view. There are two others. One is mine, and the other is the baby's. I feel that it is only right and just that I should have this little girl to replace the one you took from me, and away far from complementary to me. I feel that she is mine, because Polly told me the day she came to see me, how sick she had been, how she had begged for a doctor, and been kissed and told there was nothing the matter with her, when she knew she was very ill. She gave the baby to me, and at that time she had been to see a lawyer, and had her papers all made out, except the signatures and dates. Mr. Tomblance can tell you that, and you know that up to that time I had not seen Polly, or had any communication with her. She simply was unnerved at the thought of trusting her baby to the care she had had. Kate was hitting hard, and straight from the shoulder. The baby, busy with her sunbeam, jabbered unnoticed. When Polly died as she did, continued Kate, I knew that her baby would be full of the same poison that killed her, and that it must be eliminated before it came time to cut her worst teeth. So I undertook the work, and sleeping or waking, I have been at it ever since. Now, Henry, is there anyone at your house who would have figured this out, and taken the time, pains, and done work that I have? Is there? Mother raised six of us, he said defensively. But she didn't die of diethesis, giving birth to the first of you, said Kate. You were all big, strong boys, with a perfectly sound birth rate, and your mother is now a much older, wearier woman than she was then, and her hands are far too full every day as it is. If she knew how to handle the baby as I have, and was willing to add the work to her daily round, would you be willing to have her? I have three times her strength, while I consider that I have the first right. Then there is the baby's side of the question. I have had her through the worst, hardest part of babyhood. She is accustomed to a fixed routine, that you surely will concede agrees with her. She would miss me, and she would not thrive as she does with me, for her food and her hours would not be regular, while you and your father and the boys would tire her to death handling her. That is a start. The finish would be that she would grow up, if she survived, to take the place Polly took at your house, while you would marry some other girl, as you will before a year from now. I'm dreadfully sorry to say these things to you, Henry, but you know they are the truth. If you're going to try to take the baby, I'm going to fight you to the last dollar I can raise, and the last foot of land I own. That's all. Look at the baby, think it over, and let me know what you'll do as soon as you can. I'm not asking mercy at your hands, but I do feel that I have suffered about my share. You needn't suffer any longer, said Henry, drying his eyes. All you say is true, just as what I said was true, but I might as well tell you and let one of us be happy. I saw my third lawyer yesterday, and he said the papers were unbreakable, unless I could prove that the child was neglected, and not growing right, or not having proper care. Look at her, I might do some things. I did do a thing as mean as to persuade a girl to marry me without her mother's knowledge, and ruined her life thereby. But God knows I couldn't go on the witness stand, and swear that the baby is not properly cared for. Mother's job is big enough, and while it doesn't seem possible now, very likely I shall marry again, as other men do. And in that event, little Polly would be happier with you. I give her up. I think I came this morning to say that I was defeated, and to tell you that I'd give up if I saw that you would fight. Keep the baby, and be as happy as you can. You shan't be worried any more about her. Polly shall have this thing as she desired and planned it. Goodbye. When he had gone, Kate Nell on the floor, laid her head on the chair tray, and putting her arms around the baby, she laughed and cried at the same time, while Miss Baby pulled her hair, patted her face, and plastered it with wet, uncertain kisses. Then Kate tied a little bonna on the baby's head, and, taking her in her arms, she went to the field to tell Adam. It seemed to Kate that she could see responsibility slipping from his shoulders, could see him grow taller as he listened. The breath of relief he drew was long and deep. Fine, he cried. Fine, I haven't told you half I knew. I've been worried until I couldn't sleep. Kate went back to the house, so glad she did not realize she was touching earth at all. She fed the baby and laid her down for her morning nap, and then went out in the garden. But she was too restless to work. She walked bare-headed in the sun, and was glad as she never before in her life had known how to be glad. The first thing Kate knew, she was standing at the gate, looking up at the noonday sky, and from the depths of her heart she was crying aloud, Praise ye the Lord, O my soul, let all that is within me praise his holy name. For the remainder of the day Kate was unblushingly insane. She started to do a hundred things, and abandoned all of them, to go out and look up at the sky, and to cry repeatedly, Praise the Lord. If she had been asked to explain why she did this, Kate could have answered, and would have answered. Because I feel like it. She had been taught no religion as a child.  She had been straight, honest, and virtuous.  She had accepted joy, sorrow, shame, all in the same stoic way. Always she had felt that there was a mighty force in the universe that could as well be called God as any other name. It mattered not about the name. It was a real force, and it was there. That day Kate exalted. She carried the baby down to the brook in the afternoon, and almost shouted. She sang until she could have been heard a mile. She kept straight on praising the Lord, because expression was imperative, and that was the form of expression that seemed to come naturally to her. Without giving a thought as to how or why, she followed her impulses and praised the Lord. The happier she grew, the more clearly she saw how uneasy and frightened she had been. When Nancy Ellen came, she took only one glance at Kate's glorified face, and asked, What in this world has happened to you? Kate answered in all seriousness. My Lord has shut the lion's mouths, and they are not going to harm me. Nancy Ellen regarded her closely. I hope you aren't running a temperature, she said. I'll take a shot at random. You have found out that the Peter's family can't take little Paul. Kate laughed joyously. Better than that, sister mine, she cried. I have convinced Henry that he doesn't want her himself as much as he wants me to have her, and he can speedily convert his family. He will do nothing more. He will leave me in peace with her. Thank God, said Nancy Ellen. There you go too, cried Kate. That's the very first thought that came to me. Only I said praise the Lord, which is exactly the same thing. And Nancy Ellen, since Robert has been trying to praise the Lord for 20 years, and both of us do praise him when our time comes, wouldn't it be a good idea to open up our heads and say so, not only to ourselves and to the Lord but to the neighbors? I'm afraid she won't understand much of it, but I think I shall find the place and read to little Paul about Abraham and Isaac tonight, and probably about Hagar and Ishmael tomorrow night, and it wouldn't surprise me amite to hear myself saying praise the Lord right out loud, any time, any place. Let's gather a great big bouquet of our loveliest flowers, and go tell Mother and Polly about it. Without a word, Nancy Ellen turned toward the garden. They gathered the flowers, and getting in Nancy Ellen's car drove the short distance to the church, where Nancy Ellen played with the baby in the shade of a big tree, while Kate arranged her flowers. Then she sat down, and they talked over their lives from childhood. Nancy Ellen, won't you stay to supper with us, asked Kate. Yes, said Nancy Ellen, rising. I haven't had such a good time in years. I'm as glad for you as I'd be if I had such a child assured me myself. You can't bring yourself, began Kate. Yes, I think so, said Nancy Ellen. Getting things for little Paul has broken me up so. I told Robert how I felt, and he's watching in his practice, and he's written several letters of inquiry to friends in Chicago. Any day now I may have my work cut out for me. Praise the Lord again, cried Kate. I see where you will be happier than you ever have been. Real life is just beginning for you. Then they went home, and prepared a good supper, and had such a fine time, they were exalted in heart and spirit. When Nancy Ellen started home, Kate took the baby, and climbed in the car with her, explaining that they would go a short way and walk back. She went only as far as the Peter's Gate. Then she bravely walked up to the porch, where Mr. Peter's, and some of the boys sat, and said casually, I just thought I'd bring little Paul up to get acquainted with her folks. Isn't she a dear? An hour later, as she walked back in the moonlight, Henry beside her carrying the baby, he said to her, This is a mighty big thing, and a kind thing for you to do, Mrs. Holt. Mother has been saying scandalous things about you. I know, said Kate, but never mind. She won't any more. The remainder of the week she passed in the same uplifted mental state. She carried the baby in her arms, and walked all over the farm, going often to the cemetery with fresh flowers. Sunday morning, when the work was all done, the baby dressed her prettiest. Kate slipped into one of her fresh white dresses, and gathering a big bunch of flowers, started again to whisper above the graves of her mother and Polly, the story of her gladness, and to freshen the flowers, so that the people coming from church would see that her family were remembered. When she had finished, she arose, took up the baby, and started to return across the cemetery, going behind the church, taking the path she had traveled the day she followed the minister's admonition to take the wings of mourning. She thought of that. She stood very still, thinking deeply. I took them, she said. I've tried flight after flight, and I've fallen, and risen, and fallen, and got up and tried again. But never until now have I felt that I could really fly to the uttermost parts of the earth. There is a rising power in me that should benefit more than myself. I guess I'll just join in. She walked into the church, as the last word of the song the congregation were singing was finished, and the minister was opening his lips to say, Let us pray. Straight down the aisle came Kate. Her bare, gold head crowned with a flash of light at each window she passed. She paused at the altar, directly facing the minister. Baby and I would like the privilege of praising the Lord with you, she said simply, and we would like to do our share in keeping up this church and congregation to his honor and glory. There's some water. Can't you baptize us now? The minister turned to the pitcher, which always stood on his desk, filled his palm, and asked, What is the baby's name? Catherine Eleanor Peters, said Kate. Catherine Eleanor, I baptize thee, said the minister, and he laid his hand on the soft curls of the baby. She scattered the flour she was holding over the altar, as she reached to spat her hands in the water on her head, and laughed aloud. What is your name? asked the minister. Catherine Eleanor Holt, said Kate. Again the minister repeated the formula, and then he raised both hands and said, Let us pray. End of Chapter 25 Kate turned and placing the baby on the front seat. She knelt and put her arms around the little thing, but her lips only repeated the words, Praise the Lord for this precious baby. Her heart was filled with high resolve. She would rear the baby with such care. She would be more careful with Adam. She would make heroic effort to help him to clean unashamed manhood. She would be a better sister to all her family. She would be friendlier and have more patience with the neighbors. She would join in whatever effort the church was making to hold and increase its membership among the young people, and to raise funds to keep up the organization. All the time her mind was busy thinking out these fine resolves, her lips were thanking the Lord for little Paul. Kate arose with the benediction, picked up the baby, and started down the aisle among the people she had known all her life. On every side strong hands stretched out to greet and welcome her, a daughter of Adam Bates with something new as a church member. They all knew how she could work and what she could give if she chose. While that she had stood at the altar and been baptized, meant that something not customary with the Bates family was taking place in her heart. So they welcomed her and praised the beauty and sweetness of the baby until Kate went out into the sunshine, her face glowing. Slowly she walked home, and as she reached the veranda, Adam took the baby. Ben to the cemetery, he asked. Kate nodded and dropped into a chair. That's too far to walk and carry this great big woman, he said, snuggling his face in the baby's neck, while she padded his cheeks and pulled his hair. Why didn't you tell me you wanted to go and let me get out the car? Kate looked at him speculatively. Adam, she said, when I started out, I meant only to take some flowers to mother and Polly. As I came around the corner of the church to take the footpath, they were singing, Rejoice in the Lord! I went inside and joined. I'm going to church as often as I can after this. And I'm going to help with the work of running it. While I like that, cried Adam indignantly, why didn't you let me go with you? Kate sat staring down the road. She was shocked speechless. Again she had followed an impulse without thinking of anyone besides herself. Usually she could talk, but in that instant she had nothing to say. Then a carriage drew into the line of her vision, stopped at York's gate and Mr. York alighted, and swung to the ground a slim girlish figure, and then helped his wife. Kate had a sudden inspiration. But you would want to wait a little and join with Millie, wouldn't you? She asked. Uncle Robert always has been a church member. I think it's a fine stand for a man to take. Maybe that would be better, he said. I didn't think of Millie. I only thought I'd like to have been with you and little Paul. I'm sure Millie will be joining very soon, and that she'll want you with her, said Kate. She was a very substantial woman, but for the remainder of that day, she felt that she was moving with winged feet. She sang, she laughed, she was unspeakably happy. She kept saying over and over, and a little child shall lead them. And she would catch little Paul almost crushing her in her strong arms. It never occurred to Kate that she had done an unprecedented thing. She had done as her heart dictated. She did not know that she put the minister into a most uncomfortable position when he followed her request to baptize her and the child. She had never thought of probations and examinations and catechisms. She had read the Bible, as was the custom, every morning before her school. In that book, when a man wanted to follow Jesus, he followed. Jesus accepted him, and that was all there was to it, with Kate. The middle of the week Nancy Ellen came flying up the walk on winged feet herself. She carried photographs of several small children, one of them a girl soul-like little Paul, that she might have been the original of the picture. They just came, said Nancy Ellen rather breathlessly. I was wild for that little darling at once. I had Robert telegraph them to hold her until we could get there. We're going to start on the evening train, and if her blood seems good and her ancestors respectable and she looks like that picture, we're going to bring her back with us. Oh Kate, I can scarcely wait to get my fingers on her. I'm hungry for a baby all of my own. Kate studied the picture. She's charming, she said. Oh Nancy Ellen, the world is getting entirely too good to be true. Nancy Ellen looked at Kate and smiled peculiarly. I knew you were crazy, she said, but I never dreamed of you going to such lengths. Mrs. Whistler told Robert when she called him in about her side Tuesday. I can't imagine a baits joining church. If that is joining church, it's the easiest thing in the world, said Kate. We just love doing it, didn't we little Paul? Adam and Millie are going to come in soon. I'm almost sure. At least he is willing. I don't know what it is that I am to do, but I suppose they will give me my work soon. You bet they'll give you work soon, and enough, said Nancy Ellen, laughing. You'll just put it through as you do things out here. Kate, you are making this place look fine. I used to say I'd rather die than come back here to live, but lately it has been growing so attractive. I've been here about half my time and wished I were the other half. Kate slipped her arm around Nancy Ellen as they walked to the gate. You know, said Nancy Ellen, the more I study you, the less I know about you. Usually it's sickness and sorrow and losing their friends that bring people to the consolations of the church.  When they were all over, and you are comfortable and happy, just the joy of being sure of little Paul has transformed you. Kate, you make me think of the winged victory this afternoon.  Kate suddenly drew Nancy Ellen to her and kissed her a long hard kiss on the lips. Nancy Ellen, she said, you are big and splendid and fine, or you never would be going to Chicago after this little motherless child. You haven't said a word, but I know from the joy of you and Robert during the past months that Mrs. Southie isn't troubling you anymore, and I'm sure enough to put it into words, that when you get your little child, she will lead you straight where mine has led me. Goodbye and good luck to you, and remember me to Robert. Nancy Ellen stood intently, studying the picture she held in her hand. Then she looked at Kate, smiling with misty eyes. I think, Kate, I'm very close. If I'm not really where you are this minute, she said. Then she started her car, but she looked back, waving and smiling, until the car swerved, so that Kate called after her. Do drive carefully, Nancy Ellen. Kate went slowly up the walk. She stopped several times to examine the shrubs and bushes closely to wish for rain for the flowers. She sat on the porch a few minutes, talking to little Paul. Then she went inside to answer the phone. Kate cried a sharp voice. Yes, said Kate, recognizing a neighbor living a few miles down the road. Did Nancy Ellen just leave your house? came a breathless query. Yes, said Kate again. I just saw a car that looked like hers slip in the fresh sand at the river levee, and it went down and two or three times over. Oh, God! said Kate. Then after an instant, ring the dinner bell for your men and get her out. I'll phone Robert and come as soon as I can get there. Kate called Dr. Gray's office. She said to the girl, tell the doctor that Mrs. Howe thinks she saw Nancy Ellen's car go down the river and two or three times over. Have him bring what he might need to house and hurry, rush him. Then she ran to her bell and rang so frantically that Adam came running. Kate was at the little garage they had built and had the door open. She told him what she had heard, ran to get the baby and met him at the gate. On the way, she said, you take the baby when we get there, and if I am needed, take her back and get Millie and her mother to come stay with you. You know where her things are and how to feed her. Don't you dare let them change any way I do. Baby knows Millie. She will be good for her and for you. You'll be careful? Of course, Mother, said Adam. He called her attention to the road. Look at those tracks, he said. Was she sick? She might have been drunk from them. No, said Kate. She wasn't sick. She was drunk, drunk and with joy.  They were to start to Chicago after her tonight. I suspect she was driving with the picture in one hand. Oh, my God, have mercy. They had come to deep grooves and loose gravel. Then the cut in the embankment. Then they could see the wrecked car standing on the engine and lying against a big tree near the water while two men and a woman were carrying a limp form across the meadow toward the house. As their car stopped, Kate kissed the baby mechanically, handed her to Adam, and ran into the house where she dragged a couch to the middle of the first room she entered, found a pillow, and brought a bucket of water and a towel from the kitchen. They carried Nancy Ellen in and laid her down. Kate began unfastening clothing and trying to get the broken body in shape for the doctor to work upon. But she spread the towel over what had been a face of unusual beauty. Robert came in a few minutes. Then all of them worked under his directions until he suddenly sank to the floor, burying his face in Nancy Ellen's breast. Then they knew. Kate gathered her sister's feet in her arms and hid her face beside them. The neighbors silently began taking away things that had been used. Well Mrs. Howe chose her whitest sheet and laid it on a chair near Robert. Two days later they laid Nancy Ellen beside her mother. Then they began trying to face the problem of life without her. Robert said nothing. He seemed too stunned to think. Kate wanted to tell him of her final visit with Nancy Ellen, but she could not at that time. Robert's aged mother came to him and said she could remain as long as he wanted her, so that was a comfort to Kate, who took time to pity him even in her blackest hour. She had some very black ones. She could have wailed and lamented and relinquished all she had gained, but she did not. She merely went on with life as she always had lived it, to the best of her ability when she was so numbed with grief she scarcely knew what she was doing. She kept herself driven about the house, and when she could find no more to do, took little Paul in her arms and went out in the fields to Adam, where she found the baby a safe place, and then caught in Hust corn as usual. Every Sabbath and often during the week her feet carried her to the cemetery, where she sat in the deep grass and looked at those three long mounds, and tried to understand life deeper still to fathom death. She and her mother had agreed that there was something, now Kate tried as never before to understand what and where, and why that something was. Many days she would sit for an hour at a time, thinking and at last she arrived at fixed convictions that settled matters forever with her. One day after she had arranged the fall roses she had grown, and some roadside asters she had gathered in passing, she sat in deep thought when a car stopped on the road. Kate looked up to see Robert coming across the churchyard with his arms full of greenhouse roses.  Kate knelt up and taking her flowers she moved them lower and silently helped Robert place those he had brought, then she sat where she had been and looked at him. Finally he asked, still hunting the why, Kate? Why doesn't so much matter, said Kate, as where? I'm enough of a fatalist to believe that mother is here because she was old and worn out. Polly had a clear case of uric poison, while I'd stake my life Nancy Ellen was gloating over the picture she carried when she ran into that loose sand. In each of their cases I am satisfied as to why, as well as about father. The thing that holds me and fascinates me, and that I have such a time being sure of, is where? Robert glanced upward and asked, isn't there room enough up there, Kate? Too much, said Kate. And what is the soul, and how can it bridge the vortex lying between us and other worlds that man never can, because of the lack of air to breathe and support him? I don't know, said Robert, and in spite of the fact that I do know what a man cannot do, I still believe in the immortality of the soul. Oh yes, said Kate, if there is any such thing in science as a self-evident fact, that is one, that is provable. Robert looked at her eager face. How would you go about proving it, Kate? he asked. Why this way, said Kate, leaning to straighten and arrange the delicate velvet petaled roses with her sure, work-abused fingers. Take the history of the world from as near dawn as we have any record, and trace it from the igloo of the northernmost Eskimo around the globe and down to the ice of the southern pole again, and in blackest Africa, farthest wildest Borneo, you will never discover one single tribe of creatures, upright and belonging to the race of man, who did not come into the world with four primal instincts. They all reproduce themselves, they all make something intended for music, they all express a feeling in their hearts by the exercise we call dance. They all believe in the afterlife of the soul. This belief is as much a part of any man, ever born in any location, as his hands and his feet. Whether he believes his soul enters a cat and works back to man again after long trans-migration, or goes to a happy hunting ground as our Indians, makes no difference with the fact that he enters this world with belief in afterlife of some kind. We see material evidence, an increase, that man is not defeated in his desire to reproduce himself. We have advanced to something better than tom-toms and pow-wows for music and dance. These desires are fulfilled before us. Now tell me why the very strongest of all, the most deeply rooted, the belief in afterlife, should come to nothing? Why should the others be real? And that a dream. I don't think it is, said Robert. It's my biggest self-evident facts at Cate conclusively. I never heard anyone else say these things, but I think them, and they are provable. I always believed there was something, but since I saw Mother go, I know there is. She stood in full evening light. I looked straight in her face, and Robert, you know I'm no creature of fancies and delusions. I tell you, I saw her soul pass. I saw the life go from her and go on and on. I saw her body stand erect, long enough for me to reach her and pick her up after its passing. That I know. I shouldn't think of questioning it, Cate, said Robert. But don't you think you are rather limiting man when you narrow him to four primal instincts? Oh, I don't know, said Cate. Air to breathe and food to sustain are presupposed. Man learns to fight in self-defense and to acquire what he covets. He learns to covet by seeing stronger men in better locations surpasses achievements. So if he is strong enough, he goes and robs them by force. He learns the desire for the chase in food hunting. I think four are plenty to start with. Probably all right, said the doctor rising. I must go now. Shall I take you home? Cate glanced at the sun and shook her head. I can stay half an hour longer. I don't mind the walk. I need exercise to keep me in condition. Goodbye. As he started his car, he glanced back. She was leaning over the flowers absorbed in their beauty. Cate sat looking straight before her until time to help with the evening work and prepare supper. Then she arose. She stood looking down a long time. Finally she picked up a fine specimen of each of the roses and slowly dropped them on her father's grave. There. You may have that many, she said. You look a little too lonely, lying there beside the others with not a single one. But if you could speak, I wonder whether you would say thank you or take the damn weeds off me.


And that I have to confess.  I am not shy. I learned it a long time ago, right? When I need help, I go and get it. If I need therapy, I go and get therapy. If I need a coach, I go and get a coach. Does it cost money? Yes. How much am I willing to pay as much as I can afford to get the bestest coach or therapies that I can get? That's the secret of my success, really. It's not very secret, because I tell everybody about it.