When the Narcissists cannot get anyone to watch his videos, he talks to his Pilpilon. And the Pilpilon tells him how amazing and drop dead gorgeous and super intelligent and fascinating and incredible he is in his dreams. Today's topic is about the Pilpilon. How does it feel? How does narcissistic supply feel? What is the inner experience of the narcissist when he is in receipt of narcissistic supply? And it is not as simple as you think. Nothing is with narcissists. And who the heck am I? My name is Sam Baknin. I'm the author of Malignan Self Love. Narcissism Revisited, the first book ever about narcissistic abuse. I'm also a former visiting professor of psychology in Southern Federal University in Russia and currently on the faculty of SEAPS. Commonwealth Institute for Advanced Professional Studies, Cambridge United Kingdom, Toronto, Canada and the inevitable outreach campus in Lagos, Nigeria. Let's delve or dive right into the murky world of the narcissist. Many people ask me, what is the difference between receiving compliments and narcissistic supply? We all expose from time to time to praise. People tell us how great we are, how kind we are, what a wonderful smile we have, the impact we have had on their lives. What a pleasant company we are. So we're all in receipt. We're all at the receiving end of what could easily be construed as narcissistic supply. So what's the difference between this and the pathological variety? The variant of compliments, the variant of positive feedback known as narcissistic supply. Well, there are two differences. Two differences between compliments and narcissistic supply. Number one, narcissistic supply is fantasy-based. Compliments usually reflect a modicum of reality. They're usually founded on some elements of reality while narcissistic supply, in the vast majority of cases, is fantastic. It's counterfactual, flies in the face of reality. And even when it is not, even when narcissistic supply is well founded, the narcissist is going to take the narcissistic supply and embed it in a fantasy. Sort of surround it, drown it in a fantastic context. Narcissist converts everything into a fantasy. Any sort of interpersonal relationship becomes a shared fantasy. The narcissist's self-perception and self-image are a fantasy of godlike grandiosity. Everything is a fantasy. Narcissism, orthological narcissism is a fantasy defense, gun, or rifle. So that's the first difference. The second difference is what is known as regulatory locus. When you receive a compliment as a healthy normal person, the few of you left, when you receive a compliment, you're not likely to react with too much of an upheaval, an internal upheaval. The compliment is not likely to trigger you. The compliment is not likely to elevate your mood into a manic phase. The compliment is not likely to render you godlike in your own eyes, et cetera, et cetera. The narcissist reacts exceedingly powerfully to narcissistic supply. Because narcissistic supply in the narcissistic pathology is a form of external regulation. The narcissist uses the supply from the outside to regulate his insight. He uses narcissistic supply in order to stabilize his sense of self-worth, his moods, his emotions. In this sense, the distinction between borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder is very fuzzy, it's very blurred, it's very fine, and very thin. The borderline uses intimacy and especially presence. The intimate partner's presence is a way to regulate her internal environment. She uses the presence of the intimate partner to stabilize her labile moods, to regulate her emotions, to keep her emotions from overwhelming her and drowning her. So it is the intimate partner's presence that matters and to some extent intimacy. The narcissist doesn't care about the source of the narcissistic supply. The narcissist doesn't care about people. He cannot perceive people as external and separate. The narcissist cares about the supply itself. The narcissist doesn't care about whether you had a good day, how do you feel? Are you up? Are you down? Are you sick? Are you healthy? Are you happy? Are you depressed? The narcissist doesn't give a hoot about any of this. But the narcissist cares a lot about your input, your feedback.  Getting attention of any kind from you is what matters. Narcissism, pathological narcissism is the first attention economy. The narcissist consumes attention, processes it, converts it into a finished product. And the finished product is the narcissist's homeostasis, equilibrium, inner peace, internal environment, precariously balanced on the regular uninterrupted flow of narcissistic supply. So, whereas a normal healthy person is likely to interact with you as the source of the compliment, the narcissist is likely to interact with your output, with your feedback rather than with you. And he's going to use it to stabilize himself, to somehow regulate himself. So these are the two differences. Narcissistic supply triggers a fantasy defense in the narcissist. And the second difference is the regulation of the narcissist's internal environment is external and performed via the consumption and processing of narcissistic supply. Now, consequently, persons with narcissistic style or narcissistic disorder are dependent on supply for external regulation, not only a sense of self-worth. As I mentioned, emotions as well, moods, a narcissist can easily sink into dysphoria or even depression if he is deprived of narcissistic supply. So, there is mood reactivity in narcissism to the presence or absence of narcissistic supply. Similarly, emotions are triggered, especially negative emotions such as rage, such as envy, they're triggered by the absence or withholding or presence of narcissistic supply. Narcissistic supply permeates the narcissist's world and ambience. It's exactly like oxygen in the air. The narcissist inhales narcissistic supply constantly and in an oxygen-poor environment, narcissistic supply-poor environment, the narcissist suffocates. So, this external regulation is even more critical in narcissism than it is in borderline personality organization or borderline disorders. This is, in the case of the narcissist, a dependency and addiction. So, how does it feel? It feels like a rush. Whenever the narcissist receives a dose of narcissistic supply, especially from a high-grade source, someone the narcissist kind of looks up to, admires in a way, however stealthily and slightly, someone who is a frame of reference, a point of reference for the narcissist, a role model, a peer, an important peer, a significant other, and even an intimate partner. So, these are high-grade sources of narcissistic supply and they're also sources of high-grade narcissistic supply. And so, when he is in receipt of a dose of such supply, the reaction is indistinguishable from drug addiction, high rush. This is known inaccurately as narcissistic elation. Narcissistic elation is something completely different, but it's unfortunately online. Some people use the phrase narcissistic elation wrongly. It's more like narcissistic euphoria. And it is very reminiscent of the psychological reaction to coke, cocaine. Coke addicts are grandiose. When they consume coke, they're grandiose. They become essentially narcissists. And the longer the consumption and more regular the consumption, the more narcissistic they become until their personality is transformed into vet of a transient narcissist. So, the real narcissists, the overt grandiose narcissists, the covert narcissists, they are on this self-generated coke, so to speak, all the time. They consume narcissistic supply all the time. They're a constant high, constant rush, a crack addiction in a way. Narcissistic euphoria involves a sense of omnipotence. I can do anything I put my mind to. I am all-powerful. There's nothing beyond my ken and my ability. My strength, my resources, my assets, my skills, my talents, my gifts, my intelligence, they're supreme. They're so supreme and so superior that no one attains my level. No one reaches my level. I'm absolutely godlike. So, there's this sense of omnipotence, invincibility, invulnerability, and immunity to the consequences of his actions. That's why the narcissists, having received narcissistic supply, becomes very reckless and a bit psychopathic, a bit antisocial. Now, when I say he, it's a she, she is a he, half of all narcissists are women nowadays. So, the narcissists, having just received, having just absorbed narcissistic supply, osmosis, narcissistic supply, osmosis, having gleaned and garnered and harvested narcissistic supply from his human environment and not only human, for example, possession of a luxury car is a source of narcissistic supply. So, inanimate objects can also yield supply, belonging and affiliation with a highly respected group or exclusive club is also a source of supply, et cetera, et cetera. They're newer sources of supply. Even ostentatious charity, altruism and morality, virtuosignally is a form, yields narcissistic supply. So, whenever the narcissist absorbs narcissistic supply, owing due to his actions or due to his presence or in a serendipitous way or from the human environment or non-human environment, narcissists are great at mining and extracting supply from almost anything imaginable, including, in times of need, self-supply. So, whenever there's a meeting, an encounter between a narcissist and his supply, the narcissist becomes utterly deluded. His fantasy becomes very virulent, pernicious. I would even say Nefarious becomes a bit of a psychopath. He's omnipotent, invincible, invulnerable, immune to the consequences of his actions, decisions and choices, defined, reckless, and sooner or later, narcissists become hypomanic or manic. And this is extremely reminiscent of bipolar disorder, bipolar disorders, especially bipolar disorder one. In this state of mind, anything is possible. Anything is achievable. There's no limit to the narcissist's capacity. Accomplishments, schemes, get rich quick schemes or whatever. The narcissist is assured 100% of his eventual success, failure and defeat are not options. At that point, the narcissist also wrongly perceives, delusionally perceives, his own creativity, the quality of his creations. If he's a writer, if he's a musician and so on and so forth, because narcissistic supply is very much like a dragon, exactly like a typical junkie, the narcissist misjudges the profundity of his own work, his own contributions, his own actions, the relative weight of his involvement, commitment and investment. There's a total distortion of the proportionality and the type and nature of his interactions with the environment and with his own mind. So narcissists would tell you that he has just had a stroke of genius, that he is about to revolutionize science or I don't know what, that he's the greatest politician ever or the greatest husband or father and so on. So there is a misperception, misjudgment of oneself and one's place in the world. And this is known in Isaac's work as psychoticism. It's not psychosis, but it's psychoticism. At that point, the narcissist ascends to heaven. You should have such luck. I mean metaphorically, of course. Apotheosis, he becomes God. In his own mind, his perfection is affirmed. He is now a perfect being, blemishless, flawless, blameless, immaculate, perfect. And as a perfect being, he is lovable. Remember that in the narcissist's childhood, the little love that the narcissist had received from his mother or father, this love was conditioned upon performance. And now that the narcissist has received narcissistic supply, now that he has absorbed his daily dose of adulation and admiration and attention and so on and so forth, now that he feels that he is a divinity, a deity of some kind, now his performance is guaranteed to be perfect as he is perfect. And with a perfect performance, he cannot be criticized. He cannot be analyzed. He cannot be disagreed with. With a perfect performance, surely he is going to garner love finally. Someone is going to love him because he has rendered himself a perfect entity. He's a perfect entity by virtue of the consumption of narcissistic supply. So the narcissist depends on his addicted to narcissistic supply because narcissistic supply renders the narcissist in his own eyes sufficiently perfect to be deserving of love. His perfection renders him lovable and that counters the bad object inside himself. Today the prevailing view is that all narcissism is compensatory. It compensates for an inferior, inadequate, bad object.  So one way or another, the messaging, the signaling, the parental messaging and signaling has been very negative. And the narcissist develops a bad object, a perception of himself as lacking, as deficient, as defective and deformed to compensate for this. The narcissist comes up, the child comes up with narcissism, the false self. The false self is everything the child is not. The false self is Godlike and perfect. But how to maintain this self-deception, this delusion, delusional disorder of, you know, I'm perfect, I'm Godlike.  Narcissistic supply is input from the environment, especially human environment, but not only. Input from the environment that sustains and buttresses and upholds and proves conclusively the veracity, the realness of the false self, and therefore the narcissist owns divinity. And as a God who is perfect, the narcissist is deserving of love and is likely to receive it, that renders him lovable. Narcissists need to feel lovable because exactly like borderlines, they have pronounced separation anxiety, abandonment anxiety. They are unable to maintain object constancy. It's very difficult for them because they don't relate to other people as external and separate from them. Actually, the reason for the introjection and internalization of other people, the reason why the narcissist converts external objects, other people, into internal objects, is this fear of abandonment and separation. You see, an internal object would never abandon the narcissist, an internal object would never betray the narcissist, an internal object would never separate from the narcissist, would never dump the narcissist. An internal object is there, totally controllable, inside the narcissist mind a captive, a hostage of the narcissist, this internal object. It's also ideal, and it's an idealized, ideally internal object. It's not likely to behave badly. It's not likely to hurt the narcissist, not likely to cause pain. It's not likely to attack the narcissist, to criticize the narcissist, or demean and degrade the narcissist. An idealized object is also Godlike, and God is good. So, we're beginning to see the convergence between narcissistic supply and the internal management, the management of the internal space of the narcissist, the economy of the internal space. Narcissistic supply is streaming, streaming information that, and most of this information is counterfactual, and a lot of this information is converted into misinformation by the narcissist through the fantasy defense. To fit the information that's coming from the environment into the fantasy, the narcissist has to falsify and reframe it. So, narcissistic supply has actually two phases. The messaging, the signal, the content that is sent by the source of supply. If the narcissist has an intimate partner, what the intimate partner says to the narcissist, that is narcissistic supply, and then the narcissist takes this input, takes this feedback from the intimate partner, from a friend, from family, from children, from neighbors, from colleagues, so he takes this input and shape shifts it. He molds it, he sculpts it, he falsifies it, he reframes it to fit and to support his fantasy of himself as Godlike. His grandiosity, his cognitive distortion, his divorce from reality. And all this is intended to convince the narcissist somehow that he is not a bad object, that now, with the aid of narcissistic supply, he has become a good object. Narcissistic supply converts or transforms the bad object into a good object, a perfect object, a Godlike object, a flawless and immaculate object. This kind of object is likely to perform perfectly, commit no errors and mistakes, and therefore is deserving of love. That's a lovable object. When the narcissist is unable to obtain narcissistic supply, he collapses. And what collapse means is the narcissist fails to sustain a good object and gets in touch with his own shameful bad object. Narcissistic supply is the firewall that separates the narcissist's delusional, fantastic, good object from the narcissist's equally delusional and fantastic bad object. It's the only thing which, narcissistic supply is the only thing which stands between the narcissist and his disintegration and his experience of the life-threatening shame inside him. So this shame also convinces the narcissist that he is not lovable. So narcissistic supply is a double yummy or triple yummy. Function number one, you're great, you're Godlike, you're perfect, grandiosity, cognitive distortion, impaired reality testing. Narcissistic supply helps with that, especially after the narcissist has processed the supply, refrained it and falsified it to fit into his fantasy. Function number two, you're not a bad object.   Number three, since you perform perfectly, you're finally deserving of love. The narcissist has learned as a child to connect love with performance. And this is irresistible. And so the narcissist is constantly preoccupied not to say obsessed with narcissistic supply. Who will give it to him? How is he going to secure it? How to avoid disruptions in the supply chain and so on and so forth.  But if when the narcissist perceives the sources of narcissistic supply as too independent, too autonomous, personally autonomous, too agentic, too strong, that is very threatening because they can walk away. And again to remind you, a source of narcissistic supply could be essentially anyone. Friend, colleague, child, intimate partner and so on. Although there are different types of supply, secondary, primary, we're not going to. But sources could be any sources could even be objects. But when it comes to people, people have a mind of their own.  They don't just stay put. They're not inert. They're not controllable. Narcissist needs to render them, render them dead.  The process of interjection and internalization and identification and incorporation.   Only someone who is dead is utterly controllable. The narcissist engages in something called hyperreflexivity, expansive hyperreflexivity, which is a very crucial element in psychosis, in psychotic disorders. What he does is, he expands outwards. Again, everything is symbolic, yes. Some narcissists are obese, but non-narcissists is sufficiently obese to expand physically. They expand outward psychologically and mentally. They appropriate the environment. They invade it, they consume it, they digest it, they assimilate it. And so, they subsume the environment, especially the human environment. Now I'm talking about the human environment, human sources of narcissistic supply. The narcissist swallows them alive, takes over them like a hostile takeover, merges and fuses with them, but asymmetrically. He merges and fuses with them in the sense that he abolishes their independent existence. He converts them into internal objects. And this way, he feels safe. He feels stable, because now these internal objects are going to serve the narcissist's agenda. They're going to cater to the narcissist's psychological needs and they should be grateful for having been given this amazing opportunity to interact with this godlike person. But by rendering the sources of narcissistic supply dead in his mind, by converting them into totally controllable, manipulable internal objects, the narcissist finally mitigates, reduces, ameliorates his abandonment, anxiety, separation, insecurity. It's an anxiolytic action process. And narcissistic supply is anxiolytic. But narcissists, in his pursuit of narcissistic supply, very often acts in ways which are indistinguishable from psychosis. That is not my observation. That is Kernberg's observation. And so narcissistic supply fulfills crucial functions in maintaining the narcissist's grandiosity. Perception is lovable. Sense of safety and stability, reduction in abandonment, anxiety. And self-perception as creative, critical functions.  No, this is not the pursuit of compliments. This is the pursuit of self-regulation via external sources. And in this sense, narcissists are almost indistinguishable from borderlines. They have the same kind of economy, internal psychological economy. Now, once a narcissist has secured, having secured narcissistic supply, the narcissist feels that cosmic justice has been restored. Narcissist perceives the world as hostile, capricious, arbitrary, unpredictable. As a child, the narcissist has been exposed to self-centered, depressed, absent, controlling, parentified, instrumentalizing, especially mothers but later fathers. So parental figures, maybe even peers, maybe teachers and role models. So the narcissist has learned that reality is bruising, reality is fearful, reality is merciless. Reality doesn't realize or recognize the narcissist's amazing uniqueness and superiority. Reality is likely to challenge the narcissist's fantasy, self-deception and delusionality. Reality hurts. And to avoid reality, the narcissist uses narcissistic supply. Narcissistic supply, as I said, is a defense against the bad object, which is the internal reality.  And this is what, harvickly, is called a rejection of life. Narcissistic supply is the way the narcissist experiences reality and life vicariously through the point of view of another person. That other person serves as a buffer, a partition, a protective layer. And so, having consumed, having been at the receiving end of narcissistic supply, the narcissist finally feels restored. He feels that the world is as it should be. There is justice, and he can rely on the machine-like, proper operational functionality of a universe that, prior to that, had gone awry, has gone crazy. Narcissistic supply restores order and structure, predictability, and determinacy into the narcissist's crazy-making, chaotic, internal, disorganized personality. The narcissist constantly anticipates the worst, he catastrophizes. That's why most narcissists are paranoid, and that's why paranoia is a form of narcissism. So, narcissistic supply solves this. It doesn't cure, it doesn't heal, because you need, the narcissist needs narcissistic supply all the time. Should the supply be interrupted? The narcissist slides back. It's like a Sisyphean struggle. The minute the supply is interrupted, for whatever reason, the narcissist slides back all the way downhill. It has to start pushing the stone, again, uphill. But, on the days when the narcissist, or the minutes, or the hours, the narcissist receives narcissistic supply, especially ample supply, especially high-grade supply, especially supply that keeps giving in some way. In receipt of this supply, the exposure to such narcissistic supply makes the narcissist feel at home in the world. There's a sense of familiarity, a comfort zone. I know the ropes now. I'm so superior that I'm never at risk. I'm not at risk. There's no danger, because I'm Godlike. So, cosmic order and structure and justice have been restored. Why justice? Because the narcissist is unique. People have to recognize the narcissist superiority and amazing contributions. And narcissistic supply is the way people signal to the narcissist. They do recognize his elevation to a superior status, his divinity. So, narcissistic supply is a form of signaling by the environment to the narcissist.  Your contributions are revolutionary, transformative, unequaled and unparalleled. This is the message of narcissistic supply, however minute. So then the narcissist feels at home, a universe that recognizes his separateness, his superiority, his divinity. A universe that recognizes all this, his perfection, his omnipotence, his omniscience, his brilliance, his genius. A universe that recognizes all this is the right kind of universe. It is properly constructed. It is reliable. You can rely on this kind of universe. You can feel safe and stable and at home and familiar in a familiar setting. Now, this of course leads to haughtiness and contempt. You cannot elevate yourself into a superior position without implying or stating openly that other people are inferior. The narcissistic position is, I'm superior because you are inferior and I need to devalue you and I need to render you inferior to prove to myself that I'm superior. So there's a lot of haughtiness, arrogance and contempt. And yet at the same time, the narcissist relies on a select subset of humanity for narcissistic supply. His sources of narcissistic supply are also human. And if he is Godlike, if he's a Godhead, if he's perfect, if he's brilliant, if he's endowed, then they are not. It's by contradistinction that the narcissist survives. Constant comparison, narcissism, pathological narcissism is exceedingly competitive. So the narcissist has to square the circle. On the one hand, all other people are vastly inferior to the narcissist. And yet there's a group of people which seem to be vastly superior to the narcissist because it depends on them. He's addicted to their input. He requires the narcissistic supply just to survive. How to reconcile these two? So what the narcissist does, he idealizes his sources of supply and this allows him to idealize himself. This is known as co-idealization. Idealization is the narcissist's solution to the conundrum.  But if all other humans are trash, I cannot receive the narcissistic supply which would prove to me that I'm God. So I need to isolate a group, a tiny group of people who are not trash. They're not in my class. They're not up to my level. They will never be me because I'm no longer human at Godlike. But they are vastly superior to all the rest. And they are my sources of narcissistic supply. I bestow upon them the gift of being able to supply me. I render them my intimates, my familiars. They are now in my inner circle. So the narcissism, pathological narcissism is a concentric disorder. That's the narcissist, sui genivis, one of a kind, maybe with God, I don't know. Even that is debatable. Then there is an inner circle, which is the second circle. And this inner circle is comprised of people who have been idealized and therefore are very close to being perfect. Not as perfect as a narcissist, not as intelligent as a narcissist, but not far. This gives them the ability to provide a narcissist with narcissistic supply. And the narcissistic association with them in cooperation of them in his mind as internal objects renders him perfect as well. So he idealizes them in order to idealize himself. It's like saying my inner circle is comprised of ideal people, which proves that I'm ideal. They are perfect. So that means I'm perfect. They're inside my head. I own them. I possess them. Narcissism is not about being possessed. It's about possessing others. So this healthy, this haughty contempt is reserved only to people who are not sources of narcissistic supply. So narcissists cannot break this cycle. Narcissistic supply is a drug, as I said.  Here this craving, which leads to obsession, compulsion, one track minded relentless pursuit of narcissistic supply. It's an addiction. Narcissists can't just cut it off or switch it off. It's an addict. It's a junkie. And his sources of narcissistic supply are his pushers. Let it be clear. Narcissistic supply is a universal drug. In this sense again akin to cocaine. As I said, cocaine induces grandiosity. So narcissistic supply is a universal drug. And corn artists, gurus, coaches, essentially swindlers, they push this drug. They're pushers. They push narcissistic supply in order to manipulate their audience, in order to convert their audience into narcissists. So, you know, awaken the giant within the secret, the law of attraction.  So you're an angel. These are all forms of narcissistic supply.    That's a ripe, a breeding ground ripe for corn artists. And they're all over you laughing all the way to the bank.  Make you feel superior somehow. Make you feel intelligent when you're not. And of course, absconding with your money and much else besides mental health sometimes. The remaining 1% are truly gifted and endowed individuals. But in a world that is essentially narcissistic, where narcissism is the organizing principle and the private religion. These people, these gifted, sometimes genesis endowed people are superior. They are really superior. This is veritable superiority. But it renders them contemptuous and haughty. And this contempt and haughtiness is certainly fitting because you can't do anything on your own. You have to work, collaborate with others. You have to cooperate. You have to teamwork is crucial for survival and success.  Technology itself is constructed to provide narcissistic supply.  This is very empowering and very grandiosity supporting. And the other class of people, the tiny minority, the intellectual elites, they're divorced from the masses because they're haughty. They're arrogant. They're contemptuous. And there's a war. There's a war going on over narcissistic supply. Both classes of people are actually delusional.  And that is delusional. That is a fantasy.  They think they're independent when they are, like every other human being, very dependent on the human environment. So this is also delusion. It's also a form of impaired reality testing. And this is only the beginning. Only the beginning. So I hope that you've realized how crucial narcissistic supply is in the narcissistic pathology. While the psychopath is goal-oriented, psychopath wants sex, money, or access, or contacts, or power. The narcissist is not goal-oriented. His only goal is to obtain secure narcissistic supply. But narcissistic supply is not a goal. It's a drug.  This is the psychopath. This is a confusion between psychopaths and narcissists.  Psychopaths are truly, truly dangerous.


I'm literally in the middle of buy my coins is the best place to get man coins for anything It's cheap and reliable. And of course my code MMG is 15% off Okay, final one today turns out that the Dolphins team is nuts It's a 95 overall maxed out and I get that some of the teams I've been using might not have been like the absolute max But this team is so much better than I thought it was gonna be one thing I'll say I never knew that rain most it was a dolphin at any point in his career I did not know that so we have Lamar Miller most Devonte Parker Jarvis Landry Kenny stills to all or Tannehill Tannehill's honestly probably better, but I'm gonna go with to a we got larry tons old Joe Foonie Yeah, that's kind of cheating, but he's nasty, so I'm keeping him Dwight Stevenson Larry little Jesse Davis really good offensive line defensively Minka 98 overall forgot that he was a dolphin to Byron Jones 99 overall Patrick Stain the Domican Sue former teacher in lion David Godshaw. Is that right Christian Wilkins Rob? Nickovich Noah And then we have a few out of position here, it's 53 of 50 Miami Dolphins 99 overall Jerome big and he looks sick in that og Dolphin stuff right there now instead of Shaz I'm gonna put Rayquan McMillan just to keep it fully immersed the users are really bad That's a big problem, but Joey Porter Jerome Baker to 99 overall linebackers. That's not we have our expectors on Minka Rob And Joey Porter. Let me look at makeup. It's Patrick Stats. I'm kind of interested in 98 speed 98 excel 99 play rec 92 hip-hop kid 92 hip-hop is actually big. It's big that he gets 92 hip-hop I don't know if he doesn't force her, but he technically should be able to get it Yes, God to your card right there. That's gonna be really really fun to play with and then here We have to a Lamar Miller Jarvis Landry and Lamar Miller should have at least jukebox. He has evasive damn I didn't realize he'd get evasive he gets evasive for faster spin and juke moves to it does not get escape artists though Because they hope they hold the rookies they hold the rookies so bad with what they can get so we he's got protected and hot Rob master I mean you guys saw my to a video probably he went absolutely off So I know to analyze escape, but I'm gonna use to up also Keegan. Thank you for letting me use your team I thought it was gonna be tough to find a dolphin team, but I found dude who's got a godly dolphin steam So I'm really grateful for that without further ado, you know the drill let's hop into this game and get it up We don't have I think we have two losses in this series, right? The pads game was a real rough one and I don't know if I have any other losses. All right dolphins Let's see it baby. I will say I've always loved these. I've always loved these jerseys. I love these colors They pop all right, so I do have a QB spy on me right now I'm just gonna hit most dirt out of the backfield for a little free to My opponent's got that Wendy's Wi-Fi.  And it looks like most dirt is mine like whatever passing down back damn. He's fast.  They're ninches.  Well, that's rough I think he's gonna do the same thing to me because I see I see Eric Dickerson and I see an X factor lit up So I think my guy here wants to do something with him. She's gonna take a guess though.   I actually hate this game. I actually don't like this game.  I'm really gonna drive down there. Just get big hitter fumbled by the computer and then bombed on what my user Stain her right there. That's so disrespectful. My user was They don't want to see me succeed. You know what read option can be kind of nasty it really could Let's let's make the read here. Yes, sir. That's too. Oh Definitely slid. Oh my god.   This is a rough start I mean like truly horrible. I dare you to throw that again, dude Let it just do the most contested pass that was on the field I'm gonna send Joey Porter off the edge and then Rayquan McMillan is just gonna lock up this Area of the field hopefully so I expect a corner route He throws right into John Baker's face still catches it. It's gonna be one of those today. Yeah.  Oh, it's not you're gonna pass it Okay, I'll go on Joey Porter. Joey Porter. Let's get a pick my guy Got it. Let's go.   Is he really gonna run it? He's not running RPO peaks on bubble He's running like a corner out slain route type of thing. Come on man Make up Let's go. Let's take this Wait, oh, I busted ankles. I almost could have done that his offense is bad We can very well in this game gonna start out with a jet sweep here Gotta keep the ball from like fumble territory because I've just been such a bum with it Let me cut this That was a solid nine yards there for Kenny stills just gonna go inside zone to Lamar Miller. I do have evasive So I'll keep that in mind.   He hasn't done anything yet He actually hasn't done anything yet.  Are you kidding me? This is what I'm gonna connect on a double contested Devonte park We catch that makes me feel pretty good. So two has got kind of kind of got to go to a go to a Let's go now one thing this playbook has is RPO peaks on bubble, but without the RPO part This is literally just a bubble screen, but it's still nasty. So Could have bad. Oh, wait a second.  All right. This is a straight RPO I'm just gonna give this though. I'm not gonna think about this one. Look at that yardage. Nope. Nope. Nope Nope, nope, you're not cracking me in the face for the ball. I'm gonna trust straight up forward Who's gonna get open here? Oh, that's open. Yes, sir To a drills it into Devonte Park and we're on the five. No, he's not ready. He ain't ready. He ain't ready Without the RPO nasty play we're even mostly for a touchdown.  We're gonna give it a shot. Yes, sir Yes See that's what's fun about using different playbooks as I'm always used to using like Titans that I use is I don't have that play for sure and I don't have a couple of these plays that are really fun So that's super exciting. He goes to the play action.  That is a horrible blitz, but I'm doing it. Anyway, right here Oh, he got scared. He knew that he wanted to throw that he got scared third and 13 either I cover the corner out Nope, no corner out over here. So I just need the post. I just got to cover the post. She's got to cover the post. I Got it. I got it. I got it. What? Weird weird defense on that but it's fourth and 18. I should I expect to see a putt here I will be so shocked if he really is gonna go for this He'll be in the same if he goes to this it's he's gonna be in the same format She's gonna run the same plan. Yep. Okay, so I'm gonna go Joey Porter on a QB spot actually and then when he rolls out Oh my god He got another delay game because he's just trying to wait for this post route to develop Yeah, that's going everywhere. Oh, Rayquan McMillan doesn't get it. Actually. Why did I want to get it? That was a bomb of a punt. It's really good that we dropped that. Yeah first and 10 I got them all in the 12. We're gonna get we just got a rage quit with the dolphins Just got a rage with the dolphins dude.   He just had a touchdown. He didn't take it I formed close stretch. He switched from deuce close stretch to oh play action Mica Mica No, Mica didn't get there and that's an easy Dude, he's missing all these free touchdowns. I literally took Mica out of the middle of the field. He threw that He's gonna throw contested.   Just got a juke out Joe Thunny who's kind of given me the works right now I've never seen a man choke so many touchdowns in my whole life. Actually, I've never seen it I'm kind of bothered that Lamar Miller's not in but whatever The inside zone's not there. That's definitely Genevieve and clowny. All right, Tua. Let's see it I got protected on okay I'll hit most of out of the back feels so long as he doesn't fumble go back to half back draw Grab two yards because we're sandwiched All right straight up half back dive Do I bounce it? No, we're just gonna take our cheese got railroad I don't think after the middle of the field, but that's okay because all that matters is the fumble Honestly, you're so why you don't fumble second and six. I'm gonna look to scramble. Oh, let's scramble. Let's go You can't stop me and I got that pass off for two yards to gasecky gasecky. I don't know how you say his name, but I Did I literally just stopped and waited for that to get over so long and the thing is I usually would get sacked doing that But I have protected I literally just stared at one guy the whole time came Lamar Miller. Okay. Okay. Let's find it Okay I don't really know what to expect, but I'm about to find out whoa. Whoa. Whoa was that a read is that an option play? Shit I messed that up y'all.   I don't I actually have to kick this It's not an audible because if I call a timeout then call the same place gonna know exactly what I'm doing three to zero That would have been sick if I could have done the fake but play action He's looking for this post, but he won't be able to hit it because yeah, I was on Minka. Oh Play action drill bankers having a game, bro. He's got an interception in a sack I just got to go up and get this. Oh, he's throwing time right Importer this guy's got one play and he's bad at it. That's hilarious. All right. We're just gonna hit them Oh, most are easy in the middle of the field four for four thirty yards to it It's really a goat or I just play well when I play as to up probably since I'm not using a scape artist So I actually have to play the damn game. Look at that. Yeah, see it's because I don't have a scape artist So I'm actually playing the game So I'm forced to make proper reads and look at the field.  Let's go. I'm rightfully.   That's it for the dolphins video literally two and oh as the dolphins double rage quits against good teams Thank you boys for letting me do these um teams. I'm still looking for I Probably should go through the players, but I think it's like giant seahawks or two big ones that I would want to use right now So let me know on Twitter sometimes. It's kind of hard to set it up, but I'll let you know Thank you guys for watching. This is dope. I'll keep the series rolling. I'll see you in the next one. Peace out


this morning I want to invite you to stand in the presence of the Lord as we sing together some of you may know this if you do sing on out if not you'll catch on and simply goes like this my hope is built then Jesus blood just nest I dare not trust the this church in Shreveport Louisiana and often in the mornings we would wake up being reminded that Jesus is the one whom we follow whom we look toward as our guide and as our Savior and as our friend and so we wake up in the morning with our mind stayed on Jesus I can hear my grandmother we called her to do I can hear her voice singing in the morning say woke up this morning with my mind and it was stayed on Jesus woke up this morning with my mind and it was just that because of Christ's resurrection we can have hope because of Christ came for us hope can I get an amen because Christ came to enter in as the vision of new creation where there is no death so as you are seated I want to have the spirit would come thank you Deandre welcome good morning will be another very good day I look forward to being with you during this day as we continue our agenda we will adjourn hopefully by the time certain that's pretty on the agenda that's that is my intention which means that I'm going to be moving us rapidly at times and which I try to do anyway but I'll be I'll be doing that I believe that Cheryl Murphy is gonna be giving our prayer so Cheryl we gladly welcome you good morning I feel as if the spirit of last night's worship service is still upon us so as we settle in and begin the work at hand let us pray Almighty God thank you for the gift of today as we gather in this beautiful sanctuary surrounded by dear friends and colleagues new friends and committed Christians we thank you for this sacred time today will be blessed by the witness of wise and motivating speakers we will be blessed by the leadership of our bishop and conference leaders be present with them that at all times we can see your work hear your words and experience your love stamped upon their hearts Lord we are grateful to you for the clergy that are serving the many churches in the north Texas communities the call on their lives to be present and witnessing to all that you are and all that you do through them is the light of Jesus Christ Lord we lift up praises for the laity that have taken time from their personal and professional lives to be about the work of our conference without their witness passion and faithful service your message would not reach the masses in our cities and communities Lord may our work our words our witness glorify you today may we be the people the disciples you need for the holy work at hand may your spirit be present in every breath in every step in every conversation may your spirit be the witness that we are the hands and feet of Christ here and now Lord we lift ourselves to you this day and every day and all God's people said amen


Hey everybody, Aloha. Welcome back to the Think Tech Hawaii studios. We've got a, I think, going to be a really fun episode of security matters today and we're going to sneak some security in, but we're going to talk a lot about communication. I'll give you the story about how we got here after we met our guests. Steve DeSims is with us today. Steve is an author. He's an entrepreneur. He's super accomplished guy and I'm really, really happy that you agreed to join me here today, Steve. I appreciate it. We will get into the title, we'll tease the audience just a little and we'll let them meet you first. Some of my audience, people I know from industry, sent me pictures with your book. So they, so you are known in the security industry for sure, but for those who may not know you, I'll let Steve give an intro of himself and what he's been up to. And you know, on social media, we don't give it all the way these days, Steve. So as much as you want to share with our audience, have at it and let them get to know you. Thank you. Wow. Thanks for throwing me in the deep end there. Really appreciate it. I'm the guy that I suppose known for doing, well Forbes called me the real life Wizard of Oz and I was also called the Make-A-Wish Foundation for people with really big checkbooks. So I'm the guy you called when you wanted to do something a little bit special, a little bit exciting. I've had people ask me to get a married in the Vatican by the Pope, a drum lesson by Guns and Moses, sing on stage with our favorite rock band, closed down museums in Florence, set up a dinner party for six people at the feet of Michelangelo's David. And then just for shits and giggles, I had Andre Bicelli come in and serenade them while they were eating their pasta. So I'm the guy that got people to do some pretty, pretty cool things to increase their cocktail stories. Nice. And that takes a lot of communication, I'm sure.  So I pulled a quote on LinkedIn and it said, don't be easy to understand, be impossible to misunderstand. And so I grabbed it. Fortunately, I credited Steve for his quote in my LinkedIn post, which he saw.  I immediately, the thing that came to mind to me was like a stop sign. And then I was in Wyoming and I saw one that said, whoa, like W-H-O-A on the stop sign. I thought, well, now that's a little unclear. But anyway, let's get into communication. And let's talk about the first piece, because I said, here's the thing about simplicity. And then I used your quote, don't be easy to understand, be impossible to misunderstand. So let's talk about being easy to understand and what some of the problems or misconceptions can be between the like the sender and receiver when it's supposed to be easy to understand when we're talking about something like negotiating dinner at the feet of David or whatever it may be. So let's break it down. First things, and we can very easily, I work with a lot of people in security. I've worked with a lot of the military and I'm very honored to have actually even spoken to three-star generals in the Pentagon. So I have a little bit of an idea of the battle that you guys have with the communication. But the first mistake anybody makes in communication is you. It doesn't matter what you are saying and what you believe you are saying. All that matters is how the recipient is receiving the message you're giving. Okay. You may be thinking, well, this is crystal clear to me, buddy. I know exactly what I'm saying.  But if they're having a bad mood or if they're in a stressful situation, which a lot of security, especially the police, if you've been pulled over the blue lights going on, oh my God, what's happened? Maybe you've had one beer in you. You're panicking. You're not thinking straight. So you're in a heightened level of stress. Your reception is clogged. It's misty. So now and today, and we can take it away from the military, we can look at the media. The media is giving us a lot of information. The media is throwing a lot at a sort of regular basis. You know, we're in a world today of mass distortion and distraction. We've got to be clearer. You joked about that whoa and that stop. Communication is brevity. The beautiful thing that I can now be thankful is beautiful about my past is I never overthought and I never overtalked. So I would say, hey, I want this studio at 10 o'clock on Tuesday. How do we make it happen? And that'll be it. I would be so crystal clear. When I had a client contact me and he said, hey, I want to have an amazing dining experience in Florence. In my past job, which was a high-end concierge firm, I always thought, well, how miraculous can I make it? How ridiculous can I go for?  And then I would go to those people and I'd say, hey, I need this Wednesday night to do this, this, this. How do we make it happen? And my conversations were so short, so direct, so open, because notice one thing about my question. I never asked, can I? I said to him, how do we make this happen? What needs to happen for me to be at the feet of Michelangelo David on Wednesday? If you were to turn around and went, no, you'd look like a moron that couldn't understand the English language because it doesn't make sense. So it's through them. So I realized ages ago, if you don't like the answer, you're probably asking the wrong question. And once I understood that, I got really, really good at asking questions where I stood no liability.  Now, you may be in a good mood and you're thinking, going out for a beer with Steve tomorrow night, yeah, that's pretty good. Let's just say for argument's sake, on your way home, you got a flat tire. Let's say you got home to an email from I'd know the police that your accountant had been doing something wrong with your books and you were now in trouble. And a relationship you had had suddenly started defaulting you of your copyright material on these, but you're in a bad mood. My eight o'clock beer now suddenly represents a demand. What does Steve think he can demand me? The guy's always demanding. You know, so in which case you may turn around and go, 815, I can do it at 815. Because you've received it in a different mental state. Therefore, my message, while it was conveyed with directness and simplicity, was altered by the recipient's mood. And that is because today we've got too much noise going on. So I think and part of it, so we don't get off of the sender too much at first, because they are, they do need to have some, we hear, I think our emotional intelligence is kind of the word that gets kicked around. I need to make sure that you're ready to receive maybe the information that I'm sending or maybe need to check in with you a little bit first. I know my wife would say, I'm terrible at that, right? So she'd be like, what did you say? And I thought it was super clear and super simple. But obviously, she wasn't in a mood to even hear what I was trying to communicate. So, you know, how do we check in or how do we train ourselves to be aware of, you know, other and, you know, when we're trying to send some information to keep it so that it is simple, perhaps, or so that at least it's received in the way that we meant to send it.  Okay? If you're talking to a bunch of, I don't know, vegan people, you're not going to go in there and start talking about me. Okay? So know your audience and you can communicate with, how's your day going? Just a simple question like that. How's your day going? Oh, I'm sorry to disturb you at a moment, but I had a couple of questions. You're okay if I ask those questions. The response is going to give you a temperature of the recipient. Okay? Again, we used an example of being pulled over by the police, the blue light, the stress, the one beer in you, you're hiding. Hey, sorry to kind of disturb you evening. How's your evening going for you? You're just something to just check the temperature of the recipient before you engage in putting out your message. Yeah, critical piece.  Maybe that first part of that statement does come from the perspective of the sender. More so than the receiver. You know, you shed some light on this idea that the receivers in a circumstances or a situation that we may just not perceive. And therefore, what we think is the simplest thing to communicate is filtered, muddled, walled off, whatever it may be. I don't even know. There's a lot of stuff that happens in between there for people, insecurity for sure. What about in other relationships? So just say, let's just say, kid, I like the audience, the one for, you know, public speaking. I've been on some stages where you just dropped dead and I've been on some stages where you get everybody engaged and it's really fun. And I oftentimes don't understand what was different, right? It's the same information. It's the same type of people. They don't know this. They should be interested in it. But maybe I thought it's just me. I'm just boring today. I don't know. What do you think about the temperature of the sender as far as is the loudness? Is it the expansiveness? Is it the big words versus little words? How does the sender keep what they want to say simple? I love your idea of posing a simple question. What if we need to send a little more? So you're going to put your dog in the bathtub to wash him. What's the first thing you do before you put your dog in the bathtub? Right out the towels. What do you do focusing on the bathtub? Yeah, turn on the water. No, you just check the temperature and make sure it's not too hot for the dog and it's going to boil him.  All right, okay. All right, don't ever have a dog. Good point though. Yeah, the point is, and that's the same, when I speak to someone, I just gave you a couple of examples if you were in the security industry and you were meeting someone in a stressful environment. When I go on stage, I have about six to maybe eight one-liners, openness.  Okay, I'm going to fire three low hanging, okay, I've seen how you've responded. Now me and you, we got onto this podcast ahead of time, didn't we? Yeah, I do that with every single podcast. Why? Because I want to check the temperature with the host. You know, what is his tone? Does he want me to be all like this? Or does he want me to be really, really quiet? You know, I spoke on Sunday, Sunday morning to a group of women that home-based industries in a Catholic environment. So it was a religious group of home-based businesses. Now my personality there was different to the personality when I'm speaking to a young men's entrepreneurial group. So all you do is you get in there and you go, okay, well, I'm glad to be speaking here today.  And all you've got to do that. And if they sit there and they're like, well, that's good. You know, okay, temperature check done. But if they turn around and giggle, then you know all that little sourcing as they liked. Now I can go down that path. So all you've got to do and this is where it gets silly. This isn't complicated. This isn't hard to grasp. Temperature check, everything. If you're in a bar and I'm a big fella, I've been in my share of bar fights.  You know, when I was younger, maybe it would have been great. It's a hardy night. Let's play. But now I don't want to be doing all of that. So my head's going, where is he? Where is he? Is he having a bad day?  You can turn around and go, sorry, man, sorry for staring at you. But I saw that shirt. Really loved that shirt. Where'd you get the shirt from?  And just can I really, hey, sorry for apologizing. Just love the shirt.  Temperature check how the recipient is. Temperature check it by lobal questions, lobal jokes, bit of humour. Humour is always good to check out the, to kill a bad or diffuse a stressful situation. There's so many people done temperature check. You talk about, you talk about speakers dying on stage. I've seen speakers that, as you said, have done the exact same word for word speech and died because they were focused on the messenger. They were not focused on the recipient. If they, it just twisted it at the beginning and gone, hey, who's ever seen me speak before? You know, who's ever heard me speak about this, this and this? And they got a few people going, yeah, we saw that twice, mate. You know, well, you're in for a third time. So this may show you're going to get really good at it. You know, just anything like that. But the amount of people that don't take the time to do the temperature check and then sit there scratching the head going, how come this failed? You failed at the beginning. I love it. I love it because I had opened up my comment about this was, here's the thing about simplicity. So see, it's not simple. It's not simple. It really requires a little bit of interaction to start to ensure that our communications are going to be understood. Hopefully easy to understand, but it takes a little bit of effort on our part before we send it out. I love that point, Steve. I'm going to yeah, yeah, a little bit. Yeah, I got you. I got you. So we got to take, we're going to pay some bills. So we got to take a one minute break and we'll be right back with Steve Simms. So stick around. Aloha. I'm Dan leaf. I go by fig because I was an Air Force fighter pilot for 33 years and you have to have a nickname. I get to host on Think Tech Hawaii two shows figments, the power of imagination and figments on reality. The power of imagination introduces you to some of my incredible friends and their life experiences astronauts, war heroes, Hollywood writers, you name it, they're on it and you'll be inspired and entertained. And on reality, I'll give you something hard to find non political commentary on today's events. That's right. Non political because the vitriol doesn't help folks. So figments, the power of imagination, figments on reality, both on Think Tech Hawaii. Hey everybody, thanks and welcome back. We're talking with Steve Simms. Let's plug the book just for a minute, Steve, author of blue fishing, the art of making things happen. Tell us a little bit about the book and what we can learn if we pick up a copy. Will we get good at making things happen? That's what's important. I've got a copy here. So thanks a lot for doing a shallow plug there. I did a morning program this morning and we were running through chapters. That's why I have a copy here. I got to tell you straight off the bat, the book was a bit of a joke. I actually was at a party and someone said, oh, you should do a book. And they turned out to be a senior at Simon and Schuster. So they were deadly serious. I thought they were joking. So when they actually came back to me a week later with the contract, I was like, bloody hell, they really want me to do a book. Now when I spoke to them, I said, I don't want to write a book on just naming all the famous powerful people I deal with, because if I did that, bottom line of it is I'll be dead before cocktail hour. But I'm very happy to show you how a 15 year old from school who grew up as a bricklayer in East London is now working with Sirot and John Elon Musk, Richard Branson, and the Vatican. That's the book that I would write.  And for me, as I'm going through it, and I was working with a ghost rider, the ghost rider would be like, I never thought of doing that. And I'm like, why? It's so easy. And that was the thing. When you don't fully understand what you're talking about, you have a tendency to overcomplicate it. How many times have you ever spoken to someone and gone, can you explain that to me? And they've said something like, it's pretty hard to explain. You know, no, I've been in the rooms with Ray Kurzweil. I've been in the room with Peter D Amandis. I've been in the rooms with Elon Musk. And you know, when you need something explained, these guys are superb at explaining. I've had artificial intelligence explained to me by Ray Kurzweil, who was the guy that designed Siri before there was even a platform for it to go on. And he's been able to explain it to me. Because when you know, you can explain it. When you don't know, you overcomplicate it, and you get this client, it's going to take too long for me to explain. I guarantee you, a genius can explain splitting the atom to you in less than a minute, and you'll get a basic grasp on why that's so important. Yeah, I've had that before, you know, and you feel somewhat dismissed when someone says that, right? Or skeptical at least that they, why did they bring it up? Or why are we entertaining the topic even like really? Okay, so I get your point there. So the last part of what we were unpacking today was being impossible to misunderstand. And I know the clarifying question, obviously, you know, does that make sense to you? Or there's those ways of confirming with someone. But how do, and if it's, if I'm asking for an action, for example, police say halt, a guy looks at them and runs, right? Obviously, there's no time to ask the question that we've got a problems developed. What's a, what's a kit? Can we be impossible to misunderstand at the onset? Or does it, is it going to require some back and forth? You know, is that, is that sender? Can I, can I make sure? Again, the problem is, and we've got two answers here, sadly. For one, I've got to ask, I've got to go against your confirmation question. You know, does that make sense to you? Are you understanding this? This is a get out. How many people turn around and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got it. No, no, no, you're absolutely, and they have no idea what's going on. So if you ask them a slightly different question and say, can you see how this would apply to you and explain to me what you would do with this? Now you're giving them ownership of the education you've just given them to see how they can put it into a context that can help them. You're asking them to qualify it. You know, if I say to you, well, okay, I've spoken with you for 20 minutes now, what are you going to do with this? You've, you're now on the back foot to qualify them and go, well, you know, you talked about this and I'm really focused on the recipient side, Steve. So that's one thing. So never ask, never ask a question which can be a basically a costumed or cloaked dismissal of runaway. I love it. I love that. So that's one thing. Secondly, and this is where we get back into the halt by the police, all right? It's a highly stressful situation, highly stressful. Before the police officer, as it, and for a start, I take my hats off to all the police. I had a great supporter. Thank you for doing what you're doing and allowing me and my family to relax. Big supporter. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. But you're scary somewhere because you've come home for the night, you missed out on that red light. And I've done it. We've all done it. You've missed out on that red light. The mileage was, you know, just suddenly got decreased in a little street area and you didn't see the sign and the blue light goes and as I say, you've had a beer in you and you think, oh my God, did I have one or did I have 21? You know, you now start to go through all of this and it's the street. You've now got a heightened, elevated position.  You know, you can't get clearer than that.   For a start, you should never question if you've had one or 21 beers when you're getting a car. You should know for a fact, you've only had one at the tops. But many things go through your head and you get a little bit disk and the car, the light, it's a scary situation. But that's when sadly, again, it's up to the officer. And I apologize, but it's up to the police person to actually try and not defuse the situation, but quickly get a temperature of the recipient. How's your evening going? I didn't want to disturb your night, but we've got a little problem. Just something like that would kind of put me in a little bit of, okay, what is the problem? Are you aware that the streets are now 25 miles an hour and you were going through at 35? And just something like that, you know, would kind of like defuse it because the problem with the security side from that level, and from that platform, is the anticipation that you've done something wrong and you don't know what it is. It's that kind of, what happened? What's wrong?  I'd be like, oh no, but now, funny enough, I'm relaxed. Why am I relaxed? Even though I've done something wrong, I'm relaxed because I know what the problem is. It's the anticipation. I've actually been with very, very famous people and people walk up to them and as they're walking up to them, the person I'm next to is suddenly kind of straightened up that back a bit. They've started to go a little bit paler. They've started to kind of like restrict their facial mode and they've kind of got a bit more on guard. And it's because the person that's walking up to them, they don't know if it's a fan. They don't know if they're going to want a selfie. They don't know if they're going to hit them up to be in that next movie. They don't know it. It's the anticipation. Who is this person? What do they want? Do I know them? Do I not? And for me, I've worked with very famous, powerful people. This is what I do. I walk up to every famous person I know and I go, hey, how are you? My name's Steve Simms. You don't know me. And then I get into my pitch.  How many times have you been at a business event, a wedding, or some kind of group location and someone's come up to you and they've got Andrew? And for a split second, you're thinking, do I know you? Have we met? Are you my second, third removed? Were you on my podcast? Are you trying to get on my podcast? And then they turn around and they go, I love your show, man. Well done. It's good to finally meet you. And then you go, oh, so I didn't know you. But now I know what you want. Now I can get in the conversation. So is that anticipation that restricts you from making a logical decision? So the best way to do it, as I say, if I didn't know you, Andrew, and I wanted to be on your podcast and I saw you in Australia, I'd be like, hey, you think tech away Andrew? I've seen you, you know, know me, but I've seen your show and I love it. How relaxed would you be the second I informed you you didn't know me? Yeah, it's good. It's, yeah. 100%. Yeah, so try that. So if you're in a situation where you know you are the stressful element of this, you know it, own it, do a temperature check. Now again, sadly, folks, you guys are going out to keep people like me safe. And I appreciate you. But we also know that some of those situations you're going into can be harmful. So get a temperature check really quick to find out how that person is. So to understand very, very quickly, are you in a safe place? Are you in a safe position? Is this person a guy that's just made a mistake and is going to be grateful that you pointed out what it is and he takes a ticket and he goes home and he enjoys the rest of the night? But more than anything, make sure you're safe by checking the audience, checking the temperature of who you're going to be talking to. I love this. This is so awesome. So it is simple. Take the test first. Make sure the receiver is in a mode to hear you so that you can be impossible to misunderstand. This is great advice, Steve. Final takeaways for our audience. Any other thing you want to share about observations on communication that maybe we didn't get to? You're up against it. You know, we're in a planet now where for the past 10 years, we have outsourced our communication to things called social platforms. In the old days, when you had a baby, you'd phone up your mates and buy them over for cigars and show them the little baby and go, there you go, I got one. Now what do we do? We shove it on Facebook and try to count the likes. Oh, we've only got 20 people that like my baby. We're not getting any better at communication. Marry that to the fact that we've gone through COVID where more people are not communicating with each other. And then on top of that, add up to the fact that we are all in an uncomfortable position because of, well, we've got to be careful what we say because of racial tension, because of religion, because of politics. There's so much going on now that's causing us to be apprehensive about talking. So what do most of us do? We stop talking. Doesn't that alienate the problem?  So I urge you today, keep focusing on communication. It is a dying skill set that we need to bring back. I love that. There you go, folks. Keep focusing on communication for security, for relationships, for all aspects of your life. It's super important. And pick up the book while you're on the way, Blue Fishing, to get out of making an impact. Steve, thank you so much for being here today. We will talk again soon. Sir, appreciate you. Have a great day. Hello, everybody.


and welcome to tonight's YouTube Live with myself, Julian Jenkins. Thank you for joining me tonight. We're going to be looking at meeting your spiritual guides. I hope you're all doing well. I'll do a quick hello through the comments section in a moment. So if you want to pop where you're from, where you're watching, and we can work our way through them as well. Just briefly before we start, we're going to talk a little bit about guides. Hello Annie. And those guides, what we're going to be talking about is how we work with them, how we connect with them, how they can help us through our daily lives. Now, some people may be thinking, what's this guy on about? You mean guides? Who does he talk to? He needs to be locked away. But this is how it works for me. And I, for a lot of you, as you know, I would have been working with my guide, Ronny, since the age of five, four, six, when you're that age, you don't really know. I was amazed when I was working with my guides since I was three. I can remember that. So what I'm saying is I've been working with from Ronny from a very early age, probably four or five. And it's really important for us to be able to work with our guides in a relationship based environment, not so much a transactional base, because what happens is when we work with our guides, we generally only work with them when we need something. So when we're doing a reading, or if we're doing a tarot, any spiritual based practice, we may call upon our guides. But how many of us, I suppose, work with our guides on a daily basis by saying good morning, good night. Thank you. I can't believe what you've done for me today. How can I help you? And a lot of those things that we'd be working on, and we're talking about this evening, because working with your guides is a process. It's about building that relationship. Say before, and I say in a lot of my courses and my workshops when we're talking about guides, it's important to understand it doesn't have to be a transactional based relationship. So if you are just calling upon them when I said earlier, when you want to do things, how's that relationship going to be? You know, the analogy I always give if I knock my next door neighbor for some milk and said, you can I have some milk for make a coffee? You know, the first day is going to give it to me. The second day, yeah, third day, fourth day of me knocking his door is going to turn around and say, I think you should go up the shops. You know, it's it's important. And it's because the only relationship I would have had with him in that week would have been based around transactions. So it's really important that we work on that work with our guides and work, you know, alongside them building those relationships. I'm going to try and go through some of the some of the names in here. Ghost Princess Lisa, thank hello. How are you? Dr. Dr. Gush. Hello. A. V. Lucky. Graduates made it. Hannah is in the United States. Jane is in South Africa. Apianas in the USA. Blessings from the Yoga and Wellness Studio. Anna Gouldwin. Annie, how are you? Summer is hello from the USA. Angela's in Chicago. Kevin, how are you? Hope you're doing well. I've seen some of your drawings. You're looking amazing, mate. From New York. Carol says, show away from Southern North. Hello, Carol. How are you? Well, Joanna's from England. I'm going to try and whistle them all. Steve is in South Yorkshire. Michael Jones. Michael, how are you? Hope you're doing well. Holly, how are you? Hope the reading was good. Hello, Colleen. Kathy from Wales. How are you doing? Celestial Love from Michigan. Colleen from Ontario. Sandra from Canada. Joan Crawhurst. Joan, how are you? Hope you're well. Karen McFay. Rachel Lamb from Detroit. Rene from South Africa. Daniel Camolo from the USA. And Pod Majam from India. I hope I pronounced that correctly. As you know, some of you, I was, as I said before, I was working with my guides. And when I was working running many, many moons ago, I didn't get his name for a long time.  But then after a period of time, I said, come on, who are you? Where are you from? What are you from? And we were online and he took me online and he said, this is who I am. And when I clicked on the image, I've always known him as Ronnie. His name was Rotag, R-O-W-T-A-G. And he said, well, you can call me Ronnie because obviously it's more of a Westernized name. If you haven't seen Ronnie, there's Ronnie there. So that was the image that Ronnie took me to. And obviously it's a very powerful image. That is Ronnie. So you can see from there, he's got a bird of prey in his hand, but he is a North American Indian and he is my guide and has been with me ever since a very young boy. So that's who my guide is. And I believe to work with guides, like most of the things that we do, it's all about us sitting with them, working with them, throughout the power of meditation. The power of meditation allows us to change our states of consciousness, coming out of the beta state, into the alpha state, which we'll do now, feet to when we do trans-medianship and delta when you want to go to sleep. So all of these things, the altered states of consciousness, basically your brain waves slow down. So we get into meditation and we can sit in that space. We can set the intention. We can ask spirit to come close. We can sit there unconditionally with no ambition or expectation and our guides can come in. But what we're going to do this evening is we're going to do a guided meditation for our guides. So it's going to take about 10 minutes, 15 minutes. I'm going to walk you into this meditation. Okay.  This is about you meeting your guides. Now a lot of you will know your guides would have met your guides. Some people say, well, I haven't seen them. I can't hear them. All I do is I sense them. All I do, if you sense them, feel them, see them, just know their presence. That's wonderful and magic in itself. And it's all about us building those relationships. Like anything with the spiritual realm, with spiritualism, you want to be trying to build that connection of relationship with whatever you're doing. And it's a special, special thing. So what we're going to do now is we're going to go into a meditation. And in terms of this meditation, as I always say to people, whatever you're doing, if you're going to do this meditation, please don't do it. If you're doing something, need your full attention. So for instance, if you were driving a car, I wouldn't suggest meditating while driving a car. Okay. May sound obvious, but there may be other things that you're doing that might need concentration. Maybe you've left a pot on the stove or something. Okay. So this is what we're going to be doing. We're going to be sitting. We're going to be relaxed. We're going to go into a meditation. We're going to set the intention. We're going to call our guides close. And we're going to allow them to come in and join us. Okay. Sound fantastic? Well, I hope it is. And I'm sure it will be because we're calling down now, asking our guides, our helpers, our inspires, our loved ones, the divine, everyone to bring their collective energy together to allow us to meditate and bring spirit as close as we can. Okay. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to now pop a picture up because I don't normally like to show myself when I'm meditating because I will pull this microphone down to here so I can talk and I sometimes get a bit like this and you'll have your eyes closed anyway, but I just feel more comfortable by popping a picture up like now. Okay. So this is meet your spirit guides meditation. All right. If you're coming into this or watching as a replay, then obviously it's fine. You can just go through it and let's just begin by you getting comfortable.  Just focus on your breath, just breathing in and breathing out. And by doing so, you may just have one of those moments by taking a deep breath in and letting it go. We're telling our path sympathetic system that we're about to go into rest and healing and just allow yourself to feel calm and relaxed. Just focusing on your breath, just breathing in and breathing out. And if you have any thoughts or any noises or anything that disturbs you outside of what we're doing here, just accept them, acknowledge them, let them go and come back to your breath. Just breathing in and breathing out. Moment to moment, breath to breath.  And any sensations or anything that arises, just let them in, just accept them, acknowledge them, don't impact them or add to them, just be with them.  Allow your heart to open up and fill it with chambers, fill the chambers with the endless divine love and light. Feel yourself becoming more comfortable, more relaxed, more at ease, more present. And what I want you to do now is I want you just to bring to your mind's eye in your imagination or your third eye, that you and I are stood at the bottom of a pathway leading up to this wonderful forest. On the left hand side, as you breathe in, you can smell the water as it trickles down this wonderful river on this warm dusk evening. You can hear the animals and the birds. You can sense and feel the moon as it just appears behind the cloud. And I want you to walk with me and we're going to walk along this pathway up to the forest area where we can see an opening to a clearing. And as we start walking up, you just take in all of the sights and the sounds and the energies being truly humbled by this wonderful sacred spiritual space, allowing yourself just to be. And as we walk into this wonderful clearing, it just opens up. And in the middle, we see three chairs that just wrap themselves around the beautiful campfire that is just dancing and crackling in front of us.   And it's this point now where I ask our guides, our helpers, our inspirers to draw close. In fact, I ask two guides, one that you may be aware of and one that's never worked with you before to step forward.  It's at this point, you can say hello, ask them their names. Why have they come? Do they have a message? How can they help you? And importantly, how can you help them? I'm going to leave you here for a few moments now. Spend some time chatting, feeling, sensing, being in this wonderful sacred space. As always, we are extremely grateful for the time that we spend with our guides, wherever you are, wherever you're doing. You look around you and you say thank you. And in doing so, you just see me again appear, stood with you in this wonderful clearing. We thank our guides for drawing close. They bow their heads and say thank you back until the next time. And as they just turn around and head back into the distance, you have this wonderful feeling of enlightenment, of happiness, of fulfillment, purpose and clarity that you can bring back into this physical world.  You are beautiful and you are amazing. And as I turn around now, I ask you to come with me once more as we leave the clearing and start to walk back down the pathway with the river on our right hand side. And as we pass down, we see some beautiful spiritual birds in the sky, the eagles and the kestrels bringing peace, love, tranquility and security. As we walk back down to the beginning where we started, I just wanted you to take one last look around. When you're ready, you can take a nice deep breath in, wiggle your fingers and come back into the room. Meditation was just under 20 minutes and I hope that you came with me and followed me. It's a guided meditation. It's there to guide you. It's not a dictation. So if you went your own way and did your own thing, then that's fine as well. But I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you got something out of it, probably in the comment section, what you saw, what you felt, how did it go for you? Working with your guides is a very special thing. They helped me to get through some of the things in my life, flying MRI scanners, all of those things where I don't like this. And I was asked, Ronnie, are my guides to step close and be with me? And they always do. And it helps. It helps a lot. Amazing. A.V. Lucky says, question, one of the guides that stepped forward was a lady connected to my husband who I've never met. Is it possible that she's always meant to be my guide or just saying hi? We asked our guides to come in so there's a good chance that this lady would be your guide. And yes, it was similar to the ones we have on the course, but when we do it collectively, I always feel as if there's a different energy to that. And A.V. Lucky, when you want to, you can repeat that meditation and go in and ask whether or not she is your full guide. But we have lots of guides. Some guides will stay with us. Some guys will leave us. Some guys will move on. We have guides for all different things, whether that's for tarot, whether that's for healing, whether that's for Oracle, whether that's for numerology, for runes, all of these things. Okay. I hope you enjoyed it. It's always nice spending some moments with you. A. Prana said, Ronnie came forward and said you want to be my guide. Could that be true or am I just imagining it? It can be true. Energy is omnipresent. It is everywhere. So Ronnie can be everywhere. So if you have somebody who all of a sudden pops up and looks like this, then you know Ronnie's with you. And one of the things when I started this journey on Udemy over four years ago now, coming up to the fourth anniversary, I said I needed help because it's difficult to do this at scale. It's difficult to do it with so many people. As you can imagine how many interactions and engagements I have. And I ultimately with the hand on my heart try to get through as many as I can. And if I've missed any of the things that you've ever sent to me, then I apologize. One of the easiest ways is either through Udemy on the messaging thing or join the Julian Jenkins Udemy Facebook group or have a notification on here and message me if you want to. But to help me get through these things. So some of you may already have felt the presence of Ronnie when you're doing some of the courses or some of the meditations because he'll always be around you. He'll always be there. So I hope those things have helped and they're there for you. I'm just going to try and read through some of these. As I'm getting older, I need to do this. Because I can't read them all on the right hand side. Sandra said I asked for a sign felt a strong sense of warmth. She felt the energy. Feel the presence. My whole body started to tingle, but couldn't get a specific message. That's fine. Very calming. I have connected with my guides in the past. I asked my pendulum and it said that what I saw was real. I used the letter chart to learn their names. Amazing, Ashley. Sanjita said thank you for the lovely meditation. She got messages from both spirit guides. Carol says your Udemy courses are fantastic. Thank you, Carol. Sorry, she said I felt them, which is brilliant. I'm glad you share your comments and bits and pieces in that section. It's always a pleasure to spend some wonderful time with you. What I would ask is if this is the first time you've been on my YouTube channel, why not press the subscribe button? Also, if you hit the bell, you get a notification of the next live that I will be doing, which is probably maybe in a week's time. Thank you very much for joining me. I really do appreciate all of your love and support. It's absolutely amazing. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to reach out. Be love and give love. Have a wonderful Wednesday, whatever you're doing. Take care and see you soon. Bye-bye.


Hello and welcome to this video lecture on XSLT. So today we shall be looking at how XSL is different from XML and how we use XSL to transform XML documents. So these are the learning outcomes for today's video lecture. We shall look at the basic concepts of XSLT and use the same to style and transform XML documents. So these are the contents. We shall look at the major elements of XSLT that are used in an XSL document to style XML docs. So what is XSL? An XSL file basically describes how to display an XML document of a given type. We have learned that XML documents just store and transport data. But if you want to display an XML document with some styling added to it, we use XSL file. So XSL consists of XSLT that is a language for transforming XML documents, which holds certain elements that we shall be looking today, XPath, a language for navigating through the XML documents and Xquery is a language for querying XML documents. So we shall look at XSLT today in brief. So what is XSLT? So XSLT transforms an XML document into another XML document or HTML document or a text document. Basically if you want to transform the XML document and if you want to add some styling to it, so it is a style sheet language for XML and it is used for transformation. It is basically a W3C recommendation and all major browsers do support the transformation done by XSL. So how is it different from an XML document? Say for example, I have a XML file called as demo.xml. So if I want to refer and styling sheet which shall style all the contents of the XML file. So basically I start with the XML predefined statement stating that the file is an XML file. With it I also write a declaration starting with a question mark stating that I am using a style sheet of type text slash XSL and I make a reference to it stating the name and the extension. So as you can see here, all the styling that I am going to style the XML file with will be in demo.xsl which will be preferably in the same directory as the XML file has been saved. So my XML file has been defined here and I create a new file with the .xsl extension which has this root element and declares the document as an XSL style sheet. So every document with this predefined two statements stating that first of all it is an XML file and XSL document is nothing but a style sheet of XML type and secondary it points to the namespace on the w3.org website which states that the styling details have been included in this file. So the series of templates that match the items in the source tree and define the content to be placed will be given in the place here and again we end it with the XSL ending elements or the end tags. So right now we shall look at all the basic elements that we shall be looking at. First element is the template element. So if you want to apply certain transformation or styling to a particular set of elements, you include all those elements in the template. So you define a template and then all the elements that say for example name or roll number or class of a student are included in the template. So all the styling done to that template applies or is applicable to that particular template and to the all the elements that are in that template. So the match attribute is used to associate a template with an XML element. All the elements that are used in the match attribute will be applied the particular template. We shall see it in detail when we apply it in an example. So the next element we see is the value of element. Value of element just displays the value of a particular element on the on the screen. It displays whatever the elements hold the element holds it calculates the string value that is the content of the element say for example we have stored ABC as the name or say for example Rakesh as the name of a student. So when we use XSL colon value of name then the name Rakesh will be displayed on the screen. So all the values that we want to display will be done using value of element. The next element is apply template. So basically whenever we want to apply these templates in a not in the predefined order but we want to specify which element should be processed next or if we want to prevent certain elements from being processed. So here we can use apply templates. Apply templates help us to apply the templates wherever they are necessary in the document. Say for example you do not want to display it in a certain point. You want to delay and want to apply the template after certain data has been displayed. So the select attribute contains an X path expression telling the accessibility processor which nodes to process at that point in the output tree. So one advantage with apply templates is also that one can change the order of the element traverser. We can also change the order and do it as one wishes to. So the next element here is for each we use this for each element to apply looping in accessibility and we want to apply or display or do some process on all the nodes. So for each node or each element whenever looping is possible we use for each element and we use all these relational operators in association with the for each element. The following as you can see the following operators can be used with the select attribute to filter the produced output whenever we are using the for each element. The next element is the sort element so as you can understand the sort element is used to sort the output generated of a particular element in the order that the user wishes to. So if I want to sort the names of say for example students according to their last name this is the line that I am going to display or write after for each tag. So we use sort element after the for each element. If element is used to put a conditional test against the content of the XML file. So for example you want to display all the names of the students whose date of birth is after 91 so test is a keyword here that we use in connection with the if element. So we write accessible if test equals here is greater we use greater than with like this and is if it is greater than 1991 the condition will be true and all those elements will fulfill the condition in the XML file will be displayed on the browser. And similarly choose is also used for conditions but when we want to apply multiple conditions. So this element is used in conjunction with when and otherwise that is accessible when element and accessible otherwise element. So you basically write choose and when the first expression or the first condition is turned true the output will be generated whatsoever output is whatsoever styling is done here will be triggered and displayed and so the next thing is we close when and otherwise that is if this condition turns out to be false whatever styling is done here will be set to true and will be displayed and at the end we close the choose element. So think and answer the following question we are given an XML file which holds roll number name and subject elements of file students. So there is a data in this XML file which holds roll number name and subject of file students which element will display the name of students pause the video think over this question and answer it. So the solution is that the value of template or the value of element is used to display the content of any template to display the names of the template we will write the following accessible code. So that is all for today these are the references that I had used for this video lecture. Thank you.