He got some of the best speakers in the world in terms of personal development and stuff that he was interested in, that matched his ideals. Personal development, better skills with women, and trying to be a better man. And through the template and through the vision of a 17-year-old kid, that's pretty crazy. And the formation of that, renting the rooms, orchestrating the speakers and the production of it, later in 2008 when I came on board, it was already a professional act. You know, it had amazing technical crew. The caliber of speakers was even better than it was the year before, and ever since then I've seen it grow. But what makes that grow, and what I was saying is all the speakers up here, we have our own individual message. We have our own things that we want to say and share, and what we think and value is important to us. However, that is all through the filter of one guy, you know, who started this off when he was a kid and still to this day, you might even say he's kind of a kid, but he's done so much with his life. He's a role model for what you guys can all do with what your idea is right now, which you guys think is important and want to manifest into a dream. That guy is Anthony Johnson. He's doing his first speech of this convention, which is really cool.  Anthony, come on. Yes, sir. Let's do it. Thank you, sir. Thank you, Steve. Good morning, guys. If I get a good morning or morning. Thank you. Thanks for showing up nice and early. I know Sunday morning is the toughest. That's why it starts at latest, because it's just you guys go out at night, you're tired, you eat a lot of food, a lot of curry last night. God. Anyway, the title of my speech today is an introduction to the psychology of romantic love. It's a topic I have never covered before at this convention or anywhere else as far as speaking. I've done a little bit of my blog and writing, but nothing as far as speaking. And this topic is somewhat unusual for me to cover, because usually this convention I cover the convention itself, the direction I want to take it, the ideal man, health, fitness, nutrition, exercise, topics that are not psychology, romantic love, deeply conceptual, things like that. So this is new. But I'm excited to present it to you, because it is based on a book, as you can see at the bottom here, that is one of my top three favorite books of all time. My favorite books of all time that have impacted me the deepest, the most, the most profoundly are the psychology of romantic love, as you guys will see here, The Fountainhead and Body by Science. So this book, as we'll get to in a second year, is just huge and completely underrated to a degree that I can't even put into words. So this is the book. Actually, Steve, can you go to the top there? I have the book with me. Thanks. This here is a copy of the book, a picture. It was originally published in 1980. It was updated and expanded in 2007. And as of this presentation, the author, Nathaniel Brendon, is still alive, although if one understands health isn't that great.  Oh, sweet. This is also the physical book. It's my first copy. I read through it in a day and a half. It's pretty quick. It's not super big, but it's big enough. The introduction will be through exploration. So we're going to, as one of the speakers at the convention once put it about exercise, we're going to explore these ideas. I say explore because these ideas are going to be, well, in general, this convention, there's nothing that's not controversial. Everything at this convention. Every speaker, every idea is entirely against conventional wisdom, against the grain, and it's not heard almost anywhere else. This is no exception, except I would say that in particular it will even be controversial in this room. So kind of in and of the 21 convention, even more so than usual. Anyway, exploration through introduction, or introduction through exploration, excuse me. We're going to explore what romantic love is not first, followed by what romantic love is. And then we're going to cover my top 10 myths of romantic love that are, in a way, inferred from the book, from the author, from his ideas. And yeah, it's important to note that the majority of this presentation consists of ideas that I haven't heard, so I don't represent the author. I'm not, I am not the author obviously, and I don't represent him officially in any capacity. Just a huge fan, and I think I have a pretty good understanding of the book and the ideas within. And if there is a direct quote from the book, I'll put that in quotes and you'll see his name next to it. That's how you can know that it's officially from him. What romantic love is not? Romantic love is not a literary invention, an adolescent fantasy, an unattainable dream, an irrational pursuit, a temporary neurosis, a false hope, a fleeting emotion, or an immature ideal. One of my favorite quotes from the author, Nathaniel Brandon, is the opening passage of the book, before you even get into a chapter. And it's that above all, romantic love is not for children, not in the physical sense, and not in the psychological sense. What he means, and what I mean when I put that up there, that's a paraphrase, is that much like Steve mentioned at the introduction of the speech, a person can have, they implied, a person can have a physical age that's very obvious, or not so obvious in some cases, I look much older than I am. I guess because I grew up in Florida I have like little crow's feet. So you have a physical age, but you also have a psychological age. And as Steve implied or hinted at, I'm young, I'm 24, but most of you would say that I look and then I talk and I come across as much older than that. And that's because for the past six years of this convention I've traveled all over the world and I have packed like decades of experience into a few years. So for those of you that might have met me and thought I was older, that I was close to 30 or something, or who knows, that's not the case. And that's because at least I feel within myself as I experience my life, I feel much older than I physically am, which is just 24, still young. But this is important for romantic love because just like it says literally, it's not for little kids, but it's also not for little kids who are little kids in their heads. It's not for children, it's not for men who are in their 50s who still experience life as a child, who are still to some degree to a large degree or a minimal degree. Children, immature, they get, they're easily upset, they're easily affected by the outside world. They don't have a good handle on their life, they're dependent on other people and so on. So it's not for kids physically and it's not for kids psychologically either, no matter what your physical age is, completely irrelevant. So, what romantic love is? Romantic love, despite it being known as an ideal, I think it is so misunderstood that it is accurate to say that it is an unknown ideal, just because of the degree that it's deeply misunderstood. It's a deeply mature pursuit, it's a fully rational endeavor, as we'll explore in a minute. It is a source of profound ecstasy or joy, it is a response to our deepest values embodied in another person, or multiple persons. It is an expression of the best and highest within us, and it is one of the greatest challenges you can ever undertake. As a man or as a woman, there's only one in here, but for any of you watching later on the internet, it's not easy, it's extremely difficult. I mean that literally, it is one of the, this is the author's claim and something I agree with wholeheartedly, that it will be one of the, if you ever undertake it, one of the most challenging things you ever do, and one of the most rewarding, as a direct consequence. Perhaps one of the best summaries of this concept of romantic love that I've ever seen is from Nathaniel Brandon. My favorite is here, romantic love is a passionate, spiritual, emotional, sexual attachment between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other's person. The biggest takeaway from this quote is that it's something that's global, it encompasses everything important that you can even name off the top of your head that would be related to this concept. It's all of it at once simultaneously in one condensed concept. So to visualize this or exemplify this, you can think of the term personality, which is a pretty broad concept, and you could also think of the term sense of life. A sense of life would encompass, personality would be encompassed within a sense of life. A sense of life would be global, it's a much, it's an even broader term than personality, it's how you approach everything in life. Not just how you interact with other people, but how you experience your own life internally, inside yourself. When you wake up in the morning, why you get up? Not just the fact that you're getting up or how excited you are or how tired you are or whatever, it's everything all at once in the same concept. Romantic love is like that. There are specific definitions to it, but even so it's very far-reaching, which is why this quote is so good. To sum up, romantic love is essentially the diametric opposite, the exact opposite of everything you've ever been told. In movies, in the culture, in religion, in schools growing up, government-run schools, in art and literature and everything. If you want to know what it is, a good place to start is looking at what you're told, and then the exact opposite of that, to the T. So we've covered briefly what romantic love is not. I mean, the book covers it obviously a lot more in depth. We've covered what romantic love is, and now we're going to explore my top 10 myths to consider for daily life. Things that you can apply, I think, pretty immediately, regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship or even close, or whether it's even of interest to you. I know a couple of years ago, for me, this would have been like, not even, I was interested in going out and looking at the chicks in the same night, and that's it. This would have been to me just like, what? Why do I even care about this? I think by the end of the speech, if you do happen to be one of these people, this will really pique your interest. I know when I read this book, it was just a game changer. I mean that in every sense possible. Did you get it? Double entendre. It's a myth number one. Sexual exclusivity as a necessity. It's not true. Sexual exclusivity, meaning just being sexually exclusive with one individual person, a monogamous relationship. A, does not necessarily result in mature romantic love. So if you get into a relationship and you start dating a woman and it's monogamous, the idea that this would automatically result someday and you guys falling in love or something like that is just complete nonsense. It is so far removed from an automatic process, there are no words to describe it. It is not that. It is the definition of, you just think of it in car terms as manual. It's something you have to make conscious decisions at every point. It does not just automatically happen as much as you've been told that. Mature romantic love is possible in non-exclusive relationships. I'm not claiming that this is common or that it will ever be common, but I believe it's possible. That's certainly the conclusion the author makes and it's something I happen to agree with. And I haven't even experienced that, but it does seem to make sense. Despite what you've seen in movies, how it can only be between one man, one woman, or I guess, an homosexual relationship, maybe. But the idea that, yeah, it has to be just one to one, I don't think that's true. And we'll get into why in a second. And to really hit on that, when people say that, whether it's a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a random blogger, someone who's just, you know, writing on the topic, I think they are oversimplifying an extremely complex topic. There are a lot of nuances between two people, two human beings that are capable of conceptual thought, and it is the topic, if you've read the book you'll see, even though it's not that long of a book, the topic is immense. It is really, really deep. It is not easy to understand, just with a quick glance. Even with a good understanding of psychology and a philosophy, it's not easy. It's something that takes a lot of time and effort to understand.  This is a three-day event. It's the tenth time we've done it, and we'll keep doing it. And there's still decades to go before, I mean, if not ever, that we fully, fully, fully, completely, definitively, finally understand it, in spite of the coaches you guys have seen, who have fantastic understandings of this, of those kinds of dynamics. So to quickly exemplify the non-exclusive thing, if you look at the letter A at the bottom here, that can represent a guy, and then we'll say B is a one woman, and C is another woman.  While obviously A is the common factor between these two, these two are not necessarily ever interacting. Even if they do, the relationship you hold with one person is that relationship. It is not another relationship. So when I say that this concept romantic love is possible between or non-exclusive relationships, I mean it, and this is sort of how it looks in real life, as done expressed in just letters and arrows.  It is possible. In fact, there's some speakers at this event who could probably actually add a lot to that topic. The second myth is that love must be forever, or it's a failure. Probably the simplest way to put this is that eternity is a poor guidestone for success, quote, unquote. So if a relationship lasts 40 years, or four months, or whatever, and then it ends for whatever reason, that does not mean it's a failure. To say that just because you're ending the relationship, ergo, it's a failure, it's just ridiculous. A great way Nathaniel puts this, not in the book, but in other writings, is that if human beings had an average lifespan of 500 years, and you got married in your 30s, or started some kind of relationship and never got married, or whatever, to think that you would last, the relationship would last 470 years-ish, I mean that kind of foresight is impossible. People, human beings are not omnipotent, you cannot see 400 years into the future. So it might be easier to say that you can see 50 years into the future, or whatever, but that's still, where do you draw the line? And so I think when you really drag out the lifespan of a human being to an imaginary 500 years, or maybe someday it's 500 years, to suggest that you're going to start a relationship that's going to last 400 years, it's just absurd. There's no way you can see that. People change over time. Usually for better, but sometimes for worse. So to meet a person and suspect that both of you are going to rely on the fact, on the suggestion that both of you are for eternity going to be on the same paths that really line up and make sense, it's just complete nonsense. So a relationship failing, if you guys have been in one and then it's ended, that doesn't necessarily mean it's a failure, no matter what it ended like. Obviously there's some examples perhaps you could bring up where it really was a failure, but it's not going to be all the time. It's going on good terms and they can be a success even if you guys part ways. Another interesting point is that the phrase as far as I understand it, till death do us part, as said in marriage, was made when the average lifespan was like 30 something. So it was supposed to last like 10 years and then someone would die. So this idea that it's used in movies and whenever I tell somebody to get married and whatnot, it was made at a time when, yeah, I mean it was like, you know, you're expecting to be married for eight years, not 80. Next number three, love must until marriage. First of all, marriage is a completely separate concept for romantic love. People get married all the time that the marriage was arranged, maybe they secretly hate each other, have contempt, resentment for one another. I mean it's just, they're two separate things. They do not necessarily have something to do with each other. People can also be deeply in love for the entire lives and not get married. It's a choice. You are not obligated to ever get married or something like this. It's just, as we'll discuss, it's just nonsense. It's also important to note that marriage and society is a legal contract. Sometimes a little bit more, but fundamentally that's what it is. So again, it's not this conceptual relationship you have with another person. It's a contract that you write and it's recognized by government and so on. Separate issue, it's not romantic love. To confuse these two is deeply erroneous. It's also important to note that marriage today is dangerous for both parties, at least in the United States, I think elsewhere as well. I mean this in the sense of a legal system. It being deeply subjective and you never really know what you're getting into. So it's really hard to go into it. There's a favorite comedian of mine named Bill Burr, I don't know if you guys know him, I met him a while ago.  And this works both ways. It's not as often, at least in the U.S. I think, that women lose half their shit, but it can work either way. Both people can get into it, into marriage. It's a contract they have between each other to go through divorce is expensive and you never know what the end result's going to be. You could each end up really, really regretting the decision to get married. You also have to be careful in the U.S.  Watch out for that.  If you didn't know that, and she didn't know that, and all of a sudden you have this like legally recognized marriage that neither of you necessarily wanted, that can be really dangerous, that can have unintended consequences. As I mentioned a moment ago, any mandate, obligation, or duty to marry is antithetical to romantic love, regardless of where it's going from. And I hope that reaches the depth I'm trying to capture, that I don't care where it comes from, whether it's tradition, whether it's your culture, whether it's your society, whether it's some sort of government mandated thing, or who knows. It needs to be a conscious decision. For whatever reason you want to name, it must be something you do on purpose, not just by accident, not because someone told you to, or forced you to, or whatnot. You should resist that. You should take this with great care, plenty of thought, and extreme caution. Myth number four, physical attraction is shallow. This is important to understand in general, in the context of male-female relationships, but especially with romantic love.  You have to like her for her personality, for the values, I mean the values she holds are important, but it's like all this other stuff has to come way first, and physical attraction, sexual attraction is a distant second at best. And even then, you should feel guilty. You should feel ashamed of that. And that, as I think a lot of speakers here, that Steve might be one of the leaders in that, telling you that, that's not true. And that's what I want to get across here as well. So sexual physical attraction is immensely important in general and in specific to romantic love. You should take no shame in valuing physical sexual attraction points very, very highly. Sexual attraction, this is a little bit of a separate point, it cannot sustain romantic love in itself, but it's a requirement. You can't, to go without it is, you're on thin ice.  So it is important. It's a requirement. I even have like kind of an analogy here. So in reference to re-nutrition, sexual physical attraction is at once the equivalent of both outstanding taste, so you enjoy it very much, but it's also an important nutrient. It's something that if you go without it, over time it will catch up to you. Just like vitamins and minerals. You don't need them for the next month, but two months from now you're going to be hurting. You're going to have some kind of conditions come up, some kind of deficiency, and you're going to be, you're going to pay the price for it. So over time the need will surface and you can't get away from it, I think. Myth number five. Sex is negative, bad, and shameful. Those first point kind of brings us into the foresight, earned focus.  Pornography is, sex is bad, so if you film it, that's also bad in itself. Just because sex is bad, which I think is just horrible. It's like the most, one of the most destructive ideas you can hold in life, that sex is something you should be ashamed of, that it's bad, that it's evil, that it should be in a dark room with, not that it can't be private, that's a good thing usually, to make it more enjoyable, but the idea that it's something that, it should be a taboo and locked away and just bad, that's really, really bad. And in particular, it's very destructive, I think, for romantic love, to actually have that deep down in your subconscious, like an idea you have kind of floating around, that's destructive. To the contrary, sex is a celebration of self, of life and of reality, which is the exact opposite of something that's evil and bad, by definition. Something that I inferred from the book as well as the psychology of romantic love and elsewhere, is that sex in romantic love is the meeting of self-respect and admiration for another human being. So it's something that's great, fundamentally, deeply, definitively across the board. It's not evil, it's not bad, it should not be ashamed of it, it should not be ashamed for wanting it all the time, as much as you want, indulging yourself and trying new things. A couple of quotes that I really like from the book, I'll read them to you in case you can. This one's directly from Nathaniel Brandon. Sex is the assertion that your partner is a source of joy to you. This is true in romantic love, as it is true in general with someone you've just met recently, but it's even more true in the relationship. Another quote I liked a lot, the bed is like a metaphysical arena in which we play out the basic drama of our existence. This is something that when I read it, I shut up pretty quick. That was one of the true statements I'd ever read, and I've definitely lived that in my own life. That has been... my experiences have confirmed that wholly and across the board. Myth number six, love is selfless as opposed to selfish. And when I say selfish, we don't need to get into it in there, but I'll get into it here. When I say selfish, I don't mean petty selfishness. I don't mean lying, cheating, stealing, self-destructive behavior. I mean it like Yaron Brooks said this convention just a few months ago in Texas and in London. Rational self-interest. Just like, as Nathaniel says, your next breath of air is selfish. You want to live. So you're going to breathe. You're going to eat. You're going to drink.  These things are selfish. You enjoy these things. But they're rationally selfish. You're not selfish. You're not hurting people when you breathe. You're not hurting people generally when you eat. Let's see, rob them. And drink and enjoy life and meet women and so on. The selfishness in rational self-interest, the best sense possible, not what you've been told about selfishness as far as it being lying, cheating, and stealing, which in my opinion is not selfish but self-destructive. And it's obviously destructive to the people around you. So one of the greatest aspects of mature romantic love is that your self-interest, your selfishness, grows to deeply encompass another human being. That is almost a direct quote from the book. And I agree with that deeply. If you're in a committed relationship that you care very much about, well, if you value your partner very much, your interest in life, how much you care...  I mean, this is seen in movies. Sometimes it's not too bad. But you care about the other person almost as much or as much or maybe even more than you care about yourself. So it becomes something where you're interested in life. I mean, she is just on every level with you which is something that's really rare and really powerful. As far as selfishness and being selfish and self-less, as far as the myth goes, you should not only bring your best self to the table in a romantic relationship. I think it will be absolutely necessary in the long term. So when someone says that love is in any sense self-less, this is just by definition false. You really need to bring yourself to the table, the best self possible, the self that you have developed, that you have created, that you have authored in your own life. There's no way around it. Nor would you want to avoid that in any capacity. Finally, to choose a woman out of billions and assert the fact that she is of particular and immense importance to you is one of the most rationally selfish acts you can take in life. When you choose a woman to be in a relationship with of any degree, of any caliber, you're declaring that she is more important and she's of greater value and importance to you than all the other ones. No matter how many you've met, whether it's 10 or a thousand or a million. So this is just the act itself of being in a relationship and of choosing her and of judging that she is of great value to you and she shares your values in life and you want her to be a part of your life to a great capacity. This is just selfish in itself. You want that. And it's a good thing. It's not selfish in the self-destructive sense, obviously. Myth number seven, I used to fall from this one back in the day. Love is irrational and above reason. First, reason is not knowledge. Reason is thinking. It is a process by which you obtain knowledge. The reason is not the knowledge. It's how you get it. You think. I would argue very passionately that nothing is above reason, above thinking and above reality. Which doesn't mean you can just think your way into acquiring any piece of knowledge that may potentially exist. There's a couple more obstacles before you do that. Just measurement is one of them. How do you measure the information you have presented to you? Getting a little bit off topic, but nothing is above reason on this earth. Nothing that you're going to encounter cannot be thought about and solved. If you think hard enough and you're persistent and you work hard and you take life seriously and you take reality seriously, mature romantic love is only possible with a strong connection to reality. If you do not have a love affair with life, with reality, with this world, with earth, with living here and enjoying life, it's just not possible. You're not going to have it. You're going to have something much more, if it can even be called any degree of romantic love, it would be immature romantic love. It would be something that is very chaotic, very dramatic. It's something you've probably seen a lot of your friends go through. I know I have throughout the years. You don't even need to see it physically.  Another way of saying this is mature romantic love is not possible to individuals or couples who are deeply irrational. I don't just mean this either in the sense of like someone being a drama queen, because some people may have personalities that are more prone to conflicts like the surfacing, but I mean beyond the point of a person's personality or particular approach to life, kind of surfacing conflicts and creating excitement. I mean beyond that. I mean the point where they're sabotaging themselves, sabotaging their partner, lying, cheating, stealing, cheating on their spouse, their partner and so on. Love at first sight. I'm probably preaching to the choir here thought about this. You guys aren't particularly probably prone to this, but it's important to discuss both of the concepts it entails and then for anyone on the internet 10 years from now watching this, it's a little more susceptible to this perhaps. So first of all, this myth exists and I assume everyone here is familiar with this. Does anyone not familiar with this? Love at first sight? Probably not. We're all from western culture, so to speak. So this myth exists because sight, as far as I understand it to be, is our most important sense. If I were to go around this room and somehow force you to lose all but one sense of your five senses, the one almost all of you would keep is sight. You would forget hearing long before sight, taste, touch, taste and so on. So it is immensely important. There's a reason it's not, yeah, I knew I loved her when I first heard her or when I first tasted her. It's always the sight. Like this isn't, I mean, that might be one of them for some people. It's not usually what's, it's not popular and it's not popular for a reason for that kind of phrase to be beyond the point that it sounds kind of funny and such. There's a reason it's sight. It's sight. You get the most data and put it into your mind through sight more than anything else. So that's where that comes from and I think if you understand where it comes from you're probably a little bit more about it, how to get it out of your head if it happens to be in there. By my judgment, this myth mocks more than almost anything else a deep, complex, highly abstract concept. The idea that you can have true, mature, deeply romantic love in five seconds, it just makes a mockery of something that is very complex, takes a long time to develop and can be developed over a lifetime. So to say that you just look at somebody and that's it, it's just nonsense. Can you have a deep affinity for someone very quickly? Just based on physical attraction? Sure. Can that feel emotionally like a lot more? Sure. But that doesn't change what it is. It's just sight, it's just physical attraction. And as important as that is, as I discussed, it's not the entirety of human life, of reality and of romantic love. That's something that's a lot bigger, a lot broader and takes time. It takes work, it takes effort, it takes your mind, it takes thought, it takes reason, it takes your emotions, it takes everything all once at the same time. So the idea, again, that you can just look at somebody and then all of a sudden your love is just, it's just nonsense. It would also be important to note that so it doesn't happen overnight, romantic love, but it also doesn't develop into something that is deeply mature overnight. Again, it takes time. So two people, if they really hit it off and they meet and they talk throughout the night and it becomes something just amazing overnight, I mean, in the most extreme of circumstances, maybe that could be called immature romantic love, maybe, but not something that's deep, that's mature, that's developed. So it takes time. Again, effort, time, reason, thought, emotion, spirituality, whatever you want to say into that mix, just about. It doesn't happen overnight and it definitely doesn't happen just in the first sight. Myth number nine, sex without love is empty. Nice follow-up to love at first sight, I thought. So this myth says that meaningful relationships are not possible, but in fact they are, outside of the realm of romantic love. An example I came up with for you guys that I think would be very easy to understand is think of James Marshall. James Marshall understands himself, understands life, understands woman very deeply.  Just like he discussed, literally. They are important to him.  They are important, they are deep, they are fulfilling, they are gratifying and they are satisfying. And for the woman as well, when they meet, they both profit, profit. They have a great experience and they have a great time. So, yeah, sex outside of relationships can be fulfilling. It is not necessarily empty. It surely can be, but it does not necessarily so. I would also argue that theoretically you can go your entire life without experiencing any degree of romantic love. You can live well and you can achieve an incredible level of happiness. You just might be missing out on a great secret. Something truly great. Myth number ten, love is unconditional. This is a big one. First, to love is to value in general. The most general sense possible. That's what that means. To value something is to judge something to be of value by definition. To love anyone is to love them on the condition that they are who they are and that they do not become someone you disvalue. They do not become a monster over time. Someone you want nothing to do with. Which they certainly can change into. An extreme example would be that Hitler's immediate family was not unconditionally obligated to continue to love him when he started slaughtering people. If anyone in your immediate family became a rapist, someone that physically or sexually assaulted people, or a murderer, you would not in any way. Now the same would be true for anything, any kind of friendship or relationship. This is a complete nonsense. They have broken the condition that they are who they are. They are not someone who is a murderer, someone who is a killer, someone who you want nothing to do with. And it doesn't have to be that extreme though. The person you love, family, friend, intimate partner, fundamentally changes who they are for the worse. You are absolutely not required to continue loving them. They have broken the condition. So what I mean when I say fundamentally is that they don't just change superficially.  That condition broke, I'm gonna do more for like just this next few weeks. I mean fundamentally. A couple years ago, Jason Savage, he introduced a concept to me that was profound. That in a way I was aware of but not explicitly or consciously. He told me that the pursuit of health is a sign or an expression of self-esteem. So what's important here is having self-esteem or having fundamental values that are important to you, your partner. So again with just physical appearances if that changes just temporarily that's not that important. What's more important is that she has a pursuit of health. That she is a happy person that you like to be around, that you enjoy. Not the day to day small things that can change for better or worse very quickly. It's the fundamentals that matter. You just rip off DJ Fuji. Those are the 10 myths. That's a crash course in this book and in romantic love. Some further reading beyond the book which is just a psychology of romantic love. You can get it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, so on. Would be a follow-up book, this one that is not very well known but is really, really good. It's hard to find but you should be able to get it on the internet. And that's the romantic love question and answer book. It's a direct follow-up to the book. Came out three years later, I want to say. It's just as long and it's just a Q&A. But it's really, really good and he does it with his wife at the time. Another book from him is this is my second favorite book from him right after the psychology of romantic love. It's called The Art of Living Consciously. The power of awareness to transform everyday life. This is fantastic in general but in specific as well. I believe for romantic love. As far as being conscious in your daily life it's just like he says, 5% more consciousness and awareness to your interactions, to your endeavors, to your pursuits in life. It's really, really good. And I mention this in specific because he is known as the father of self-esteem so he has like a whole list of books on self-esteem that are really, really good. But that's what he's mostly known for and books like Psychology of Romantic Love and this book, they kind of get brushed to the side. They're of secondary importance behind so I would say first look at these because I think these not saying anything about the self-esteem books, they're great but these are harder to find and they're not quite as popular or discussed as often. You can also check out the author's website at his name so it's NathanielBrandon.com he has an entire section on romantic love that I think is really, really good. It has books, articles excuse me and audios from speeches like this he gave back in like the 80s they're great. They cost a couple bucks, there's MP3's and they're really, really good I would highly recommend them they're absolutely worth like $9.95 for every charges form and that's it that's my presentation on Psychology of Romantic Love a brief introduction to it. Hope you guys have enjoyed it and if you have any questions I'll be happy to take them. Thanks guys Questions for Anthony Johnson Thanks Anthony it's a great talk just wondering why do you think a society plays such a big value on marriage as it is He actually, I should have mentioned that there's actually an entire section of the book he starts off, it's actually it's really good but it's not as good as the rest of the book, the beginning of Psychology of Romantic Love he goes into history so it's like maybe 30, 40 pages on the history of romantic love how it's developed throughout the ages and different cultures and religions and so on and how it's been treated so the book answers that really, really well I would say I'm not even sure if this is exact inclusion but mine is that it most has to do with religions religions have wanted to control sex for hundreds or thousands of years that's why it's such a big issue or that's kind of self fulfilling prophecy there I think that sex is such a profound celebration of your life and happiness on this earth that people want to control so to control that they create things and I'm not bashing marriage here but they create things like marriage they and then they create certain rules for it and such that sex for example, sex outside of marriage is evil, you're going to go to hell you're going to burn for all eternity from this God who also loves you or something so it's things like that they create and it's it's not like some big conspiracy but it's a system of control so they make it and it's it's easier to control people to get people fearful of you to have them do what you want and to I guess make them obedient which the guys in here I don't think any of you are very obedient so power to you, fuck I ain't does that answer your question I think it's most, it most think of designer religion it's not even, there are a lot of traditional cultural things too but most of it I think is stemmed from religions does anyone else have a question no, yeah okay there we go all of a sudden zero to like three what to know how does the psychology of romantic love impacts offspring children I mean you're talking about marriage it's not an obligation well oh yeah if you get into it, liability more likely with social norms and everything it seems that raising children it's pretty much an obligation to be married otherwise they're going to have bigger in certain factors I mean we're a progressive society but when that's hard I think that was for example bigger when I was a child and it's gone away a little bit but you're right, it's still around so the question is specifically so children and marriage so it's not really related to romantic love per se it's more so like marriage okay he has a section on that and he also answers it I think quite a bit in the Q&A book so the follow-up book first I would say that something I read the other night when I was reading it for like third time is that a lot of people they feel obligated first and foremost to have children so it's another thing that religions have like ingrained people to do well like you guys are here even you go to school, you get a job you get married, you have kids forever and ever and ever you make more of this kind of religion or more of that one or more of that one more little offspring to populate it and then to feed the coffers whatever they call it I would say that having children is a huge responsibility and that any sort of obligation that they should have children at all to begin with is just deeply antithetical to taking full responsibility for what you're about to do to make another human life the same is also true then with marriage as I discussed and then as far as being obligated to get married it's because you decided to have kids assume that someone decided to do so rationally and fully aware of everything I was going to entail yeah I don't I think it's something you should fight against I think you should disagree with it you should speak out against it that just because you have a child then you automatically have to get this legal contract for it I don't think so it's not just to not getting married it's worth fighting those it's worth disagreeing with them it's worth paying whatever the short term prices are and 18 years later when they're an adult it's not going to matter so I'd say yeah stay again stay away from the obligation that's supposed duty that people make up for you that society makes up that you just have to get married just because of getting love or just because someone told you to just because you had kid pop out I'd say does that answer your question? shoot that's another thing too yeah the marriage rates are like the failure rates as they call them are like astronomical for getting married in your early 20s it's like 98% you get divorced it's huge sorry to interrupt I mean you should question in the first place whether you even want to get married at all is it necessary or is it even beneficial I'm pretty skeptical as far as it like being like a legal contract specifically I think that you can have a life long if you want if you want some life long relationship with another woman that's deep and that's intimate and that's filling I mean that can last 50 years or more and you don't have to get married I think it's just is this something you've been told and you've seen in like a thousand movies and TV shows that you have to do this you have to do this and you have to do this and you have to fucking do this now will a woman be aware of that automatically off the bat no I mean women in particular seem obsessed with like weddings and marriage and dresses and like what the fuck else yeah you should you should gently educate or nudge her to question these things if they're really a value to her if they so happen to be so be it but only when she is like fully aware that she's been fed this fantasies and she was fucking too and this things like that yeah you should does that make sense stay away from the duty the obligation we're short on time there's one more question we should have actually a few minutes well there you go but we are short on time we're about 30 minutes behind let's start a little bit late one is if we cook it off in a new way no not at all yeah hoping it'd start that off too non-exclusive I think monogamous relations are great that's what I have with Merrily up there the redhead yeah I think there's actually a speaker here that is very in support of monogamous relationships not at this event but at the Texas conventions here named Greg Swan so in my opinion most people are actually going to benefit the most from monogamous relationships but I don't think it's going to be everyone I think that's kind of what I was hinting at is that there's a population where guys just don't want that I think I know some well they'll never be happy and truly happy for the long haul monogamous relationship but I think that's the exception I think most people will benefit from that from a lifelong partner who you are sexually attracted to physically attracted to a lot and that can last over a lifetime it might not be as intense as it was when you were like 21 50 years later I think that's certainly something you can attain that's an ideal that's achievable and that yeah it can be done so does that answer your question monogamy is I think great but yeah it's not going to be for everyone so anyone else? a bit more on common law I'm only familiar with it as it's practiced in the US it depends on which state you live in in the United States out of the 50 60s because it seems like it's the same thing as marriage so why not get married if it's the same thing just to keep everyone else happy oh well what I was getting at in the speech is that you should be careful of common law you should find out about it and then avoid it it's not in Florida but other states if you just live with a girl and pay the bills together for like 7 years or whatever you're automatically married automatically you don't have to say the matter that's kind of what I was getting at to stay the hell away from and watch for that and stay out of it rather than just staying away from it just again well in that case it's an obligation that's forced on you unknowingly but what's your question exactly I'm kind of losing train of thought here sorry he was asking about common law marriage which is mainly an American thing I wonder if it exists in Australia does anyone know yeah so he just said Australia de facto relationships have billed after 7 years it's like in a lot of states 6 months fuck that god you guys are you guys are fucked man sorry in some US states it's 6 months so yeah it's something to be no I would say no I would say find a way move move get away run I'm sorry man I know you like where you live or something yeah there must be a way around it I think there's things you can do in certain states where you can if you write out explicitly that you don't want this I think you can avoid it so it's not always going to be forced on you it happens to a lot of people unknowingly and then they break up with their girlfriend and all of a sudden they have this court or a judgment against them to lose half the shit so just be aware this whole convention a big part of it is being more aware and being conscious in your life and looking for stuff like this that are bad arrangements people before you set up and then you just get sucked into not knowing it so watch out for things like that there's a lot of things in life like that that if you pay attention people will suck your soul dry and this is one of them if you don't want it if you don't want marriage and you get forced into it that's this horrendous I think it's a tragedy that's an abomination so even if you have to move I don't know man fucking move it's worth the fight because someday I think that can be defeated that can be changed we don't always have to live like that you can win that fight things like that that are horrible I think can be reversed if you fight hard enough alright guys let's give it up for Anthony Johnson thanks guys


We just figured out how to basically hack that system. So we hack the way that your body communicates with itself. Are you, so let's go into like the, so when you have the one, the single one, like you showed too, but there's that you can do one and it's just, it's handling the yin energy. It's not, it doesn't include the yin energy. So you just, let's say you just use one coil. Let's say this is yin, it's going to feel more relaxing and gentle. And then if you use this, this is yin by itself, then it's going to feel more focusing and activating. You feel the difference. So, and then when you combine them, then you feel really, really centered. All right.


Thank you for joining my talk from S bombs to I bombs know what's happening in your clusters. First, let's start with the most important thing. What's in it for you? Why should you stay here and not grab the next cup of coffee? I know I had one too many. So first we start by understanding why I bomb, which stands for infrastructure bill of materials is crucial for security, but also for any platform efficiency. Then we're going to define I bomb and understand why we should all care about it. Next, we'll talk about what's the implications in terms of attack service for I bomb. And later learn how I bomb can help us all learn how to control our clouds better. So who are we? My name is I don't even I'm the co-founder and CEO at the company called firefly. We do in cloud asset management. I spent almost 12 years in the Israeli cyber intelligence force, then let technology for prominent hedge fund work for a startup in the serverless field. And with me today should be Cindy Blake, fireflies VP of marketing. But this is the first infrastructure fail. All right. So just like I bomb and S bomb, we created an amazing, we hope amazing deck for you. But Cindy couldn't be here. So the software, the service worked well, but the infrastructure failed. And if we could do the bomb, the bill of material for the infrastructure, we could have prepped better for this call. So it will be only me. But I'll try to make up for Cindy's absence. So let's start with the basics. For the past few years, S bomb is being crazy, like a very hot buzzword. So I'm sure most of you heard about it many, many times. So I don't want to reinvent the wheel and talk about what is S bomb and why it's important. So I asked the most, the smartest thing I know, chat GPT, what S bomb is all about. And it gave me a very elaborate answer. So let's let's take the key part of it. It says something about software of materials, complete inventory of all software components. It has all third party software, open source libraries, and other components. This is where most of us are focusing our current S bomb efforts and endeavors. Then the S bomb is essential components for software supply chain security. Supply chain is fantastic. Personally, I'm really excited about this field. And you need to list all the third party components, right? So what basically says, let's understand what our services, our software is comprised of, let's list all the open source, all the dependencies, and the supply chain and understand what we have in our software because open source is huge, stack overflow is used, GitHub is used, and we don't really know what our services are comprised of. And now let's try to define I bomb or infrastructure build of materials. First and foremost, it's a full inventory of our infrastructure, where do we have our servers, where do we have our storage, where do we have our network, everything that's connected, Kubernetes, pods. But after we will list all the key components, we need to list an inventory, all the dependencies. For example, if I have a server, where is the server storage? If it's connected to network, what's the network that it's connected to? I am and so on and so forth. Then obviously, we're here at KubeCon and Cloud NativeCon, we should talk about child processes and predecessors, right? If I have a Kubernetes cluster, I need to understand all the child resources. If I have a replica set, I need to know all the pods that connected to it and all the storage allowance. And the scale status, for example, if I have an auto scaling group in my public cloud, then we should understand all the infrastructure's code, for example, Helm or Terraform or Ansible or Pulumi that connect to this environment or control or provision this environment or infrastructure. And lastly, maybe as important as the native or the native cloud components, but many times overlooked, is all the third party tools that became integral part of our platforms, but we don't think about our octa the way that we think about our replica set. We don't think about MongoDB Atlas like we think about an RDS instance on AWS. So all of those are super critical, and you can find your favorite vendor across your infrastructure. Then after we have the entire inventory and we understand how our platform is built and what components and dependency are comprising it, we should understand every configuration per each item on our inventory and each version. And the last part is have ownership. I know that in the modern era, especially, you know, I work a lot with SREs and platform engineering, blame is something that you can say because we're all in together and we need to support every production issue together to solve it as fast as possible. But ownership is super critical for us to understand how to manage our infrastructure and how to really create the inventory because we create the iBOM for a case where we have a problem or incident or security issue. Now we need to attend to the owner of the specific resource or environment and handle it. So we got to add it to the inventory. So we understood what or hopefully understood what iBOM is. It's a full inventory of my entire platform. Hopefully it runs in the cloud. But now let's see some example on how this inventory looks like. So the very basic example is to me to write a small Python or BAS script to allow me to see every, in this case, it's AWS machines, all the EC2 servers that are older than 10 days and are running and see all the sizes and understand how many servers I have. But very, very basic. Now I can go forward and list all of the different servers in a specific region and even see if I have some backup related to them. Next version will be to create something super complex or very complex that runs across my entire multi-cloud infrastructure and sus abilities and Kubernetes clusters, at least every single resource in them have the type associated with it, its name, its owner, its infrastructure, its code, its status, its location, its properties, its tags, its creation data and so on and so forth. But it's becoming super complex. And the next stage is have a dedicated inventory or asset management solution for the cloud native error. So after we understand what the concept of iBOM is and how we can start implementing it, we should probably understand what's the implications in terms of the attack surface. Sorry. So iBOM is huge for APSEC, right? Now everyone in APSEC thinks about supply chain and iBOM and we are very much focused on scanning all the dependencies and let's say if we are Kubernetes fanatics, we always want to scan the images and understand everything is properly run. But what if I scan all the dependencies and I scan the image and everything looks okay and the configuration for this specific container is fine. But let's go back even to 2015. I'm running this Kubernetes pod inside a cluster which is vulnerable. And now I can do, escape out of the container and go up from the kernel to the part that I like to take advantage of. So iBOM allows us to really outline the entire attack service. Not just the service, like I showed you, those slides are here but the infrastructure is missing. This is vulnerable. The human element is almost the most vulnerable. In this case, we work. So we need to understand the entire chain of our infrastructure and our service. So let's say I have a piece of software that runs on Azure and make sure that the entire Azure configuration is built and inventory and secure. And it's fine. And then I run Kubernetes on top of Azure and I'm taking care of the Kubernetes. But now I'm going out to MongoDB Atlas. And MongoDB Atlas is a great service and I hope it's always secure and I personally use it. But let's say someone manages to take advantage of me shifting data in and out of MongoDB Atlas. So I need to understand that all this traffic goes in and out of Azure. And lastly, I have DataDog monitor this. And I have Cloud for, I'm using Cloud for CDN to distribute the data. So if I don't understand each and every component across the entire service, I'm missing out. So just like this image articulate, I can have a very strong chain. But if one link is super weak, I'm probably doing something wrong security-wise. So let's see some basic example, some basic, some more than basic examples of overlooked iBom incidents or issues. So for example, Kubernetes, I can again scan my images, know that my cluster is correct. But if I don't keep track on my cluster version, I might run out of date and vulnerable version of Kubernetes. API version per every object in my infrastructure. The operating version and type of every node that I run. A DB version, something that is, it can be a bit tricky because we all know that the public cloud security teams are amazing. And let's say I have, I'm running a managed Redis by AWS. And obviously, at least I can talk about the people I know, the AWS security team can run and patch vulnerabilities in Redis faster than I can do it. And I can implement in my production environment. So it's good. It's good to have a managed service in terms of security. But if I'm not allowing auto upgrade to minor version, I might think that, oh, it's a managed service and it's fine. And I'm now patched against this zero day that was just discovered this morning. But if I'm not allowing auto upgrade, I'm doing a bad service to my security team. Then we can talk about all the Terraform or other infrastructure as code models that they run. Is it something that we created? Is it something that another team created? Is it public repo or public model? Because unfortunately, some bad actors inject vulnerable repos into public infrastructure as code modules. And I need to understand this as part of my iBom. And which part of my infrastructure is consumed by each service? Because in case of an incident or in case I want to change something, I need to understand per service which infrastructure it consumes. And we go next, we can think about security group or VPC changes. I'll share a quick story from one of our customers at Firefly. So this relentless SecOps engineer examined a specific environment and found that the server, there was no need for it anymore. And the server consumes a security group. So he looked at it. He saw, okay, security group. One server. I don't need the server. Let's do Terraform destroy. Destroyed it. And he felt good. He minimized the attack service for the environment. He eliminated some waste. And it was fine. But 15 minutes later, production started to crumble. And some bad things happened to data retention. And why is that? Because this SecOps team set up a security group with a server in Terraform. But then another team in the DevOps department saw this security group and added two additional servers to the security group. So the SecOps engineers examined the Terraform manifest and see one server in the security group. Does Terraform destroy? Terraform doesn't see any problem. Destroy it. But the two other servers are now disconnect from the network and took production down. So this is very bad. And if they had a detailed I-bomb, they would know that if the security group is deleted, then those two additional servers would go down. Another thing that we should think about is how do we communicate changes to the infrastructure? What's the source of truth? If I'm the SecOps engineer and I see new ingress rule into my VPC, do I allow it or not? How do I know? I work in a large enterprise with hundreds of developers. And I don't know if someone added a new piece of software that needs a relay and talked across my VPC. So how do I know it? If I have a detailed I-bomb, I know I have now a source of truth for my infrastructure. And there are no questions asked. It's not a game of a cat and mouse. The SecOps close the ingress. The DevOps thing will open it again to allow ingress for the SAS vendor and so on and so forth. Moving on, we can understand in our I-bomb where or when all resources were deployed. So if I see lots of pods, obviously not pods, I hope you don't have pods running from 2017, but compute instances running from 2017 that are still running might get me thinking and researching why it happened. And as a last example, at least of all the assumed roles by SAS providers, right? Because I can tell you from some examples that are close to me, companies that don't remember if they already switched from Prisma cloud to WIS or they're still using cloud health or now it's FTO, but should I remove this assumed role or not? I don't know. And it's MS. So now, after understanding that we need to map the I-bomb, let's see how it can be used in case of an incident. So let's hope it never happens, but I remember when Meldown inspector hit, if you remember the vulnerabilities in the Intel processors, we were all very scared for a software that runs on instances that based on those processes. But let's say, and again, I'm really hoping it won't happen. Let's say tomorrow morning, God forbid, we find the vulnerability in Graviton by AWS. How do I know which part of my software, which part of my data set was exposed to the compromised or the vulnerable processes? If I don't have an I-bomb to go with it, it's almost impossible or very, very complex for me to do. If I have it, it still clicks away or one command line away for me to output and start investigating and have a proper disclosure. So up until now, we talked about how I-bomb is important for the security perspective of the cloud or the infrastructure practitioner. But now let's think about the operational point of view. If I take a service down, something changed, I want to take the service now, the service down, how do I make sure the entire supporting infrastructure is really eliminated? And I don't have any waste. I don't have any vulnerable instances that keep running. So if it's so important, now we talk about why I-bomb is so important, where is compliance? Because S-bomb is probably a compliance darling in the last two years. SOC2 loves it. The U.S. federal government really loves it. FedRAMP adores it. And now everyone is occupied with being an S-bomb centric. But is I-bomb needed or demanded? I'm not sure. I'm not sure that those compliance explicitly requires an I-bomb.  So we need to understand they are always one step ahead in terms of compliance. If they are tracking I-bomb, did we miss anything? So I got thinking about it and started to see some efforts around I-bomb. So Cyclone DX, very hot, explicitly states S-bomb, SAS-bomb, so bill of material for all the SAS that they use, and H-bomb, which is hardware bomb. And now the new cool kid in the block, Salsa, I think they call it, supply chain level for software architecture. So I don't know why I put a picture of Elmer Fudd here, but I'm suspecting it's more Fudd than something real. But if Cyclone DX, which is important, they want to list the S-bomb and they want to list the H-bomb, the hardware bomb. And I don't have, like in my company, we don't have hardware, we are cloud native, we use only cloud. So what's the equivalent? And if my cloud is software defined infrastructure, is it part of my S-bomb or not? And SAS-bomb, is it just a lease of SAS? Or when it comes down to Mongo Atlas or services like NetAppspot or Aqua Security, which really touches and control my infrastructure, how deep should I understand those and list those resources in part of my I-bomb? So FedRAMP is taking a step forward and really start to ask you to bomb everything that relates to your service, including the infrastructure part of it. But once again, I think it's important to note that I-bomb is definitely not just for security. If you track your I-bomb correctly, you can have your platform be much more efficient and tight. And now another story. So one of our customers call us one day and tells us that they, using Firefly, they found an environment by a sales engineer that cost them $3,000 per month. But they are a relatively large enterprise, so we ask, okay, fantastic, we're happy $3,000 is a lot of money, but you pay your cloud providers, orders of Mongo is more per week. So why are you excited about it? They tell us, okay, this software engineer left the company and he did it three years ago. So for three years, an entire environment was up and running. The company thought that if the HR management SaaS solution marked this employee as a non-employee anymore, he left the company, so it takes down everything, but it didn't take down the cloud infrastructure for it. So it's a security weakness, a significant security weakness in my opinion, but also just a lot of cloud waste, which led to more than 100K in the unneeded expenses. So if I try to wrap it up here, iBOM really allows the DevOps, SRE and platform engineer enjoy the security aspects of some compliance requirements. And now we need to understand why was iBOM neglected? Why when S-BOM is so big, iBOM is something that we almost never or never hear about. And this comes down to the fact that the old world was segmented differently, right? We had the software teams care about software and IT teams care about hardware. So software teams care about S-BOM and IT cares about H-BOM. But cloud is as mentioned before software defined infra, where does it fall?  I'm not sure, because app sec teams and software teams don't care about iBOM, they care about S-BOM. But cloud sec, they do not really care about iBOM, they just chase the next vulnerability, they chase, I am world tightening, and so on and so forth. And this is why it was neglected. But what if I told you we never neglected iBOM? What if I told you that the old legacy IT world has a very detailed iBOM, extremely detailed iBOM? It's called CMDB, configuration management database. Some of us can remember it. Amazing companies like BMC and ServiceNow built amazing products around CMDB. But this CMDB world was designed for a world where you have actual servers sitting in wrecks in your basement, and the CMDBs even list the HVAC and the AC mechanism in your data center. So they're built for a situation where you change your servers once every two years and track licenses on-prem by SQL and not for Kubernetes pods going up and down every 100 milliseconds. So the CMDB world, this great iBOM database, is missing from the cloud world. So for us here at CubeCon, at CloudNativeCon, this is a very important piece that is missing. So I probably skipped the shameless plug for Firefly being the best CloudNative CMDB and iBOM generator, but we should think about it. So what is CloudNative CMDB, configuration management database? It's a tool to control and see everything in my infrastructure from my public cloud, and obviously it should be multi-cloud, multi-account, but also all my relevant SaaS applications, like those data dogs and Tubernomic and New Relic and Octa and so on and so forth, and obviously Kubernetes, serverless, OpenShift, all the CloudNative technologies. Then we need to understand which parts of my cloud are managed with infrastructure as code and which are not. The unmanaged resources are almost worthless for iBOM, because if they are not codified to, let's say, Helm or Terraform, they are not scalable, they are not immutable, and I can't re-replicate them. So it's a problem. Last part, I need to understand the scale status per my infrastructure, the relationship and dependencies, and have a mindset of CloudNative. It's not about listing where this server, in which physical rack it lives, it's about which user deployed it, who's the owner, and what its status. So after we established the importance of iBOM and the CloudNative CMDB, we need to understand why grifts are key, or eliminating grift, remediating grift, and detecting grift, are key to keeping my iBOM always up-to-date and to establish or handle deviations for my secured or my desired baseline. So a drift is every deviation between or any gap between the desired state of the cloud and the actual state of the cloud. So it means that I architected, or I want to create an architecture for my cloud to look like A, but in reality it looks like B. And what can cause this transfer from A to B? It can be someone, a person, doing a change. It can be a glitch in my CICD pipeline. It can be an error. It can be a third party, a source, or a physical vendor, and doing changes to my cloud. And this many times is a silent killer for innovation. It creates tech debt, it has production issues and errors sprawl in, and it generates a lot of hustle for the ops teams. So it's like Pokemon, right? We've got to catch them all. We've got to understand that if we architected the secure baseline or the desired baseline, we need to understand every deviation from it and handle it as much as possible. Without it, iBOM becomes irrelevant, becomes out of date, and this is the whole point of iBOM. Always have a detailed and accurate representation of my infrastructure. So the final part here is after we established iBOM and we established how drift detection or remediation is important to keep iBOM efficient and updated, we need to understand, or we can try to think about how we can take advantage of iBOM. And one example is ransomware resiliency. So if everything in my infrastructure, let's say my cloud, is properly configured, qualified, and documented, it's easy to set it up in a different location, in a different cloud, in a different account, in a different region. I'll share another story. I think it was four weeks ago, one of our customers tells us that they are being attacked and there's a ransomware incident for the octa configuration. And obviously, you know, if you take away our octa, we are locked out. It's literally the keys to production because we don't have a kingdom just yet.  But if you made sure that you always have your octa configuration properly codified, and let's say in this case, in Terraform, and you can go back in time and spin up your octa configuration in Terraform from two days ago, and now just do Terraform apply for it, you're up and running, and you don't care about the ransomware attack. So this is one of the benefits of having iBOM. You are much more resilient to ransomware and other service failures. All right. So conclusion. First part, XBOM, mostly SBOM, is one of the hardest buzzwords currently in the last two years in security, but infrastructure in iBOM was neglected. It's like we're taking our jewelry and put it in a safe, but the safe is in a trailer, and it's easy to hijack the trailer. So I think we should all track our iBOM and understand how our infrastructure looks like at any given point in time. And I think it's a professional must, from a security standpoint, from a fin-up standpoint, from compliance, and from just being a professional. I don't need Kubernetes, and I don't need serverless. If I just want to have high scale at any cost without any professional implications, just spin up lots of NGNIC servers and have any request handles super, super quickly, but it's not a professional move to do. Same goes for iBOM. If you want to be efficient, I want to have a tight platform, I need an iBOM. Then we remember that the OGs, the original gangsters of IT and on-prem data centers, then they understood the importance of iBOM and created the CMDB. But now let's think. Which infrastructure is more complex? Legacy IT or cloud? Which changes faster? Which had more technology advancement? Which is touched by more and more teams at a higher pace? I think we are much more complex. Instead of just thinking about sBOM, we should all start thinking about iBOM. And the last part, how to get started. We should start by inventory our cloud, understand which part of our cloud is properly codified, which is unmanaged, and this is the basic building blocks for an iBOM. And with that, I like to wish you all that your infrastructure never drifts and you will never be hustled with an on-call in your weekend. If you like this talk, you can rate it. If not, you can also rate it. I'll leave it up to you. And with that, and just 15 seconds after time, I'm open to any question if any has one.


I'm good just watching things. I know I just it's it's gonna be to like I'm not even gonna take that much out of it right it too because again it could change till four like from two to four because then he talks he like starts talking and then he gets questions and then and I honestly don't even know if and he's gonna come out of today because again he's not gonna say we're not gonna lower rates in the first six months even if we're not going to he's not gonna say that because the market would fall so I don't you know whether the market rallies or does nothing I just don't unless he says something that's so wishy-washy that the market gets nervous but it's usually in the question and answers is when the market starts to react and then that's like the next hour or I might not react till tomorrow morning till people have a chance to digest it you know what I mean exactly anyways I did get your messages last night I've been going to bed so early with the classes and training and everything I've been so exhausted like I've literally been in bed like with my pajamas on by seven o'clock but I got your messages and then I saw where Tessa was and of course I saw the lawsuit news and and then when I got up it was nowhere near I mean it was still down obviously but it was nowhere near where it was when you sent me that email well yesterday it went up because GM was up so that kind of that's what I thought yeah and what I did was I today I got out of I got out of the UPS okay yeah and you know I didn't know if that had much legs anyway because I you know it's not I don't think it's a it's not it's different than Google you know you did a great job because I was talking with that yesterday in the options class I said not everything is a BA not everything you can't hold everything to a piggy-target and I said point in fact UPS because again I don't want people to start thinking they can hold everything now all the time because that wouldn't be good because obviously the market still volatile right and that's what's funny because Ben and I were talking last night because I he was asking what my plan was for today and I already knew yesterday I got out of the 210 put in BA because it did go to 199 and I'm like and I knew that one was out till 2 9 but I thought you know what I had two I had two puts left I had the one 200 put that's gonna expire on Friday and I have the one that was gonna expire the next Friday for 210 and I said at least I'll book some money and I'll let the the other one no matter what happens you know this morning yeah and I was up a good amount I was I got out of that at 1350 I put my order Phil order and I bought it for 680 so I yeah I was over a hundred percent so I was pretty happy with that and that I could let the other one ride and then the two Teslas I really thought I could get out one first thing this morning the 190 and I didn't and then it's been up but you know we have two days left in that and you never know what I'm worried about that I see what's going on in these things that I'm sure people and I'm sure people did kill did kill them but again this is exactly what happens and then yeah they end up working in our favor you know what I mean but but again you've been doing so well so so where are you at right now so are you so I have I have one the one BA left that expires Friday that is the 200 putt and then I have two Tesla puts I have the 190 and the 185 that expire on Friday I gotta guess and I got a good one Google I did one Google which I was surprised how cheap it was it was 282 for and I actually took it for the 145 I waited till it you know this morning how kind of rallied up a little bit almost 45 so I took the 145 so I'm I already know I'm green on that and I did put an order out but we'll see where it goes well let's see what the market does between now and yeah yeah so anyways are you are you have you grown your account since the last one we talked Friday well because of now I'm in so many like oh yeah that's right cuz you're in stuff so it's hard you know I haven't grown it since I mean I just I just took the UPS so that you know grew to another you know 250 bucks but the tech that oh and I took the Tesla out to 216 okay and I actually you called it for 180 but I actually took it for 187 50 so I moved the strike up well you're really getting crazy yeah rallied up I'm like I'm gonna take it here so that's what I did yeah yeah well that's okay that's okay yeah yeah so I think you're doing good I mean it's funny your instinct said that about the UPS cuz again I mean it's a it's a trade you take it you book it you get out boom yeah and you could have got out yesterday and I feel like I missed my exit yesterday then and then it pit and then I said ah and then and then today that's what I said I'm gonna get out well it fell into the clothes yesterday but it did it did I watched it so yeah and that that's the new that's the newer me as opposed to the last time eat because the last time me I would have hung on to it and I would have waited more till it expired the night so I might have even given it into next week you know and then it really yeah yeah that would have been the old me yeah so and then I had a really good discussion last night because he said well you he's went when you take one that's winning and he says you can get out 100% that's a you know 50 to 100% that's a good you know good win ratio he goes well why don't win when it's down 60% why don't you get out like and and cover your loss or like you know like mitigate your lesson I said because I'll tell you why and I had a perfect answer for him I said I was in the BA and I was down 60% and then it or was it the test very very first year of the year you mean no one last week I think it was the Tesla I said and I was in the one Tesla and it wasn't it was sidelining and I said I was 60% down and if I got out of it I never would have had the drop but I never would have made the money yeah so I said now instead I I watch how much I take of things this way I'm not panicking that I might lose in them yeah so that was my entry so that satisfied them well right you're you know from being with me for a long time that things will go on to work that are down 50% or more you know that just from being with me even from last year but the other thing is to you can have is your plan that you're gonna kill everything at 50% but it never works out that way because something could go against you overnight and then then you don't like again that could have happened with Tesla and then the whole thing was it down 100% and you couldn't even like so you can have a plan to get out at 50 but it doesn't you can't sometimes it doesn't work out that way and so you can't even plan that you know and you don't always have the opportunity to even get out at half so I just figured I'm not gonna I'll just keep these small positions like this other I could have taken two contracts and Google today but I didn't I just took one and let me make a little bit of money and then you know if the if the BA you know who knows I mean we have two more whole days who knows what could happen because it's earnings because there's earnings out now I didn't look at what's out tomorrow night but because it's earnings and because of the Fed yeah that could go that still could go right right I think that is about soon isn't it nothing was interesting tonight unless I didn't look right I didn't see anything of interest tonight it was cute promise tonight to come yeah let me see tomorrow morning I thought meta's coming up but I might be wrong tomorrow night more night okay tomorrow night is Apple Amazon and meta oh there you go there you go yeah yeah yeah yeah Microsoft there was a nothing burger well yeah the it was down in the post market I saw it yeah but again there was no way that I would have shorted that we I wasn't going to do it last night no because to me it was down what two bucks and that was just an invitation for people to come and buy it I thought yeah yeah Google was definitely the better one so how many think you've a lot on then now right now how many so I have I have two BA's two Teslas but that other Tesla's not out for until the 60 and one Google so so five contracts three yeah yeah and I would love to get out of Google so then this way I want to leave myself some room then for Friday morning and you know the Amazon the meta and you know those are all three good ones so well I mean who knows you maybe do another BA tomorrow let's see where BA opens tomorrow yeah I've seen it I'm like this is ridiculous and again I then somebody brought up in the room so I must have been pissed in the room about the rally you know and been in right to and I said don't you know you can't freak out you know this is again it would open lower but they said nothing they said absolutely how could how could they do that I don't know but they can I mean this is I don't know they gave no guidance I know they gave no guidance so nobody knows how they think they're gonna do that's not good yeah but something could happen and they just think that you know that I I think that they would they think is that it's a bargain and that it's gonna go up because even like even a bed don't have this idea well well you know it's bowing so what you know what I mean companies after a while aren't the companies that they once were but I mean remember you were you were with me back when when everybody was talking about it when they wanted to go long it which I remember what happened it was so many years ago after it made new highs and then it had that monster gap down you remember that we should talk about that yes remind me to talk about that another day remember that was I that was their first problem I think that's when the they found out that there were problems with the 737 max okay but that was like gangbusters that was like you know five six hundred dollars a share back then yeah yeah but it's been nowhere near that nowhere that it's not I'm they're not going out of business obviously but it's been nowhere near those numbers and you had somebody during the pandemic that wanted to buy it because I thought it was a real good bargain and you said no what it could fall more like this is not a place to go long but that's how people lose money those are the people that that are good candidates for my class but then never take my class because they can't wrap or they don't take your advice yeah they don't want to take my advice I don't know they don't want to listen to me and then they take trades and lose just like the guy that was talking about shoring to video which then he said he didn't do he said he didn't do it I hope he didn't do it I hope he didn't yeah because that was a disaster a disaster as well I was saying those people that have been in other classes and done other platforms and so they get all these mixed messages see I'm just a Melissa you know like you are the only one that I've ever followed and so but I think that that's what makes the difference and I've seen how long have I been with you now so probably seven or eight years and I see you post your your win especially your option winnings your day trade winnings you know and so that's why I follow you because your results are right there yeah no that's right I remember you didn't take any classes before no yeah that was good for you you know because people talk about head and shoulders and I'm like what's I said to Chyro today what's head and shoulders I don't even understand what or walk the wall of worry I'm like what is this I would just rate a gap let's just rate the gap did Chyro say that in the room one day when I was off that's so funny he's well he was talking about he said he was looking at a chart he said some people would call this head and shoulders and I'm like yeah not that he did he said some people would I'm like what do you mean head and shoulders I know and my other favorite walk the wall of worry what does that mean so yeah and then yes well the other day we rated the gap is perfect because net like you said now you see what it did work but even after the fact this is why it would work and it rated 20% you know and so many people were glad I did that review and I'm like oh my god you know it's like I mean this is what I mean like like people are so engaged when we're trading I guess they're not even thinking about all that they're you know right obviously that's part of the lazy part of having the room people just come in they don't go they don't do the ratings they should and again you know I then I call the trade and they do it but I mean obviously you do better if you go through the process and you see what it's doing and and again yeah people need to do that they need to do that so that they can understand what's going on but anyways I was talking to a guy yesterday and he never traded his life and he used to be a stockbroker so well this is completely different and he was scared of gaps like he was scared thinking gaps are bad and I'm like well that's because you were stockbroker and people would lose money in gaps that you were telling my stock and and then and so he's worried what is learning career be I'm like I have no idea I said I've taught people their brand new and some of them do great and you're a good example of that because of nobody bad habits then again I've taught people that have terrible habits and and they do awful because they like remember I said about the guy that said he had 600 indicators that was completely just blew my mind like that guy is never gonna be able to trade right with 600 it's just so overwhelming it's like I have a headache thinking about 600 indicators too much yeah you know less is more that there's one of my phrases you know and just a phrase there's yeah the thing yeah yeah yeah that's well that's so funny that's a that's great because um yeah I think again everyone is a different learning curve but it doesn't matter if you don't get on the train you're never gonna learn it so you either get on the train or you don't get on the train like you know what I mean it's like putting it on right you're not gonna learn it because you're afraid because you're new I mean I don't know what it is about people not wanting to learn new things after they get over a certain age I don't know if it's 30 40 50 it's well I think it's harder it's hard and you and probably people want the confidence in themselves because they can't they don't think they can learn new things like it takes a little longer but I I went back for my nurse practitioner and I was 50 years old and I never so I came from I graduated my BSN program in 1983 just out of college and we took notes everything was handwritten so now I'm going into my master's and now everything's on computer and and and if my kids helped me with it and I still hate like I hate writing email I'd rather write like a handwritten mail I hate all that stuff but I do it yeah and you know charting you know charting on patient care all on the computer so yeah so it's hard but you can do it taking notes helps


Christmas 2018 is now a memory, and for one Pike County family, it will definitely go down as one of the most memorable ever. You see United States Marine Kevin Tackett hadn't seen his family for nearly a year, and he planned a big surprise just in time for Christmas. My mother doesn't know I'm coming in, my grandfather doesn't know I'm coming in, so I'd like to give them a surprise and KSP is helping me, so it's going to be a good Christmas, I think. Kevin met up with a trooper as soon as he got into town Sunday night, climbed into the back of a cruiser, and put his plan into motion. My mother just put this new truck, and it's got a little bit of damage on my back left side of the truck bed, I'm guessing, and we're going to do a possible hit and run. Kevin's stepfather was also in on the surprise, and he told Kevin's grandfather, mother and sister they had to go pick up a package. That's when they saw the blue lights in their rearview mirror. If you don't care, look at this, you all care to step out and look at this damage back here. Little did they know they were about to get their Christmas wishes granted. Everybody's got wishes for Christmas, what's the one thing you like to have for Christmas more than anything? My brother. Your brother? Where's he at? Hawaii. Oh yeah, that's a long way away. Yes, it is. What's he doing? He's a Marine Corps. He's a Marine Corps. Yeah, buddy. Check your glasses, everybody. Let me see him. I'll be right back. Where's he? You say he's in Hawaii? Yeah. We're out over there. I don't know. And after the emotions settled, even Kevin himself said he was surprised at how well everything went. It was quite the moment for me, so a couple weeks of planning, KSP, and then EKB, we called him together. We made it happen, so that's what I'm thankful for this Christmas. I don't need anything else for Christmas.


Now, you talked about your support system, your family, and your community. Pina and Bolivia would like to know what you say to people that encourage women to maintain traditional gender and family roles rather than play sports. That's an issue that they're facing. Absolutely. Yeah, I think that is very difficult, and that is what is happening around the world. And I think that it is changing slowly. I think we're seeing progress. I looked at the Afghanistan women's soccer team, and they are one that has been fighting for years now just to be able to play competitive games. I think that you have to take slow steps, but I think raising awareness is one of the most important things. Having those traditional views is going to take a long time to unwind those. Those are decades and centuries of thinking that needs to change. And so with that, I think there's a level of patience and then there's a level of pushing. And I think creating awareness is one of the most important things. A lot of the work that we do as a team is just talking about it, is getting it in front of people so they understand the inequalities. They really see that the inequalities are unjust and unfair.