Broadcasting live from Honolulu, Hawaii, welcome to think tech Hawaii's newest show, top of the line. I'm your host Ben Lau Aloha and thank you for tuning in. I open our show with the quote used by author Robert Green and the opening of his book entitled mastery quote, everyone holds his fortune in his own hands. Like a sculptor, he will fashion his own figure, the skill to mold the material into what we want must be learned and attentively cultivated end quote. Our guest today is someone who has molded his life and pursuits with great skill, tremendous inspiration and perspiration and in his own fashion with non stop cultivation and he's achieved mastery across a gamut of endeavors. Our guest is my friend, former teammate and college swim team captain Wilfred Stephen utensu fondly known as Fred. And those of us he got naked with Freddie. Fred has accomplished many things across many areas, business tycoon CEO chairman of the board team builder team leader team owner chairman of the league philanthropist mentor. He's an architect and master sculptor of self and of others individually and his teams. Born in Cebu city, Philippines. Fred resides in Manila with his wife and partner in life of 40 years carry. He's one of three children of Wilfred utensu senior and Bonnie Mary Brooks, but he is in fact, indeed, a devoted and beloved member of two families, the utensu clan and the University of Southern California. Fred began his career as an age group swimmer developing into a national and international level fish from the Philippines before relocating to the US for school. He chose, chose USC to one study and two to swim, not necessarily in that order. Fred wish to swim under legendary coach Peter Dalen and train with some of the best swimmers in the world. A born leader and chair leader and someone everyone looked up to Fred was elected our team captain. After graduating Fred returned to the Philippines to help his dad run a family business. He was in the task of milk corporation succeeding his dad, Fred grew the business took it public and molded it into a leading food conglomerate. Not one to waste time resting on his morals. Fred started other businesses and devoted himself to training for triathlon. He's competed in over 50 of them, and he's since achieved world class status as an elite member of Iron Man. As a team leader and cheerleader Fred built teams of great employees and great athletes and led them to successes. As a professional sports team owner he built a Philippines basketball dynasty, the Alaska aces, a 14 time national championship team. And then Fred has earned recognition as a widely admired business executive team owner, athlete leader and as a major contributor to his country, fame and acclaim and seemingly every aspect and walk and swim of life. Fred returned to Los Angeles reports are that he took a plane, rather than swim bike and run the distance on his own, and he dropped in on his other second extended family at USC. One of the best universities in the world. One, some parents will risk breaking the law and jail time to try and send their kids to. I don't mean to make light, but rather to shine a bright light upon Fred's character by contrast. Fred and Carrie both SC alums have other family who attended their eldest daughter Ashton is also a USC alum always one for doing things his own way, the right way. And Fred's approach was of course unique, rather than law breaking or making a big donation to help with Ashton's admission they allowed her to get in on her own merits. Then they waited till she graduated before making a record setting donation, the largest ever by a former student athlete. They helped build USC a new complex, the utensu aquatics center at USC will be seeing a lot of this beautiful complex in the 2028 summer Olympics in LA be playing a starring role as part of the swimming venue. Now, let's see Fred. Hello Fred, a big thank you for joining me today. Thanks Ben good to see you and thank you for the very kind and generous introduction. Fred, it's, you're simply a marvel. To know you, your story. It's, it's awe inspiring, maybe also a bit tiring, watching an action, listening to me attempt to summarize it. How are you. Good, good to be here and I'm actually here in the islands in Kona Hawaii so just just across the channel. Well, on screen right now. We're showing a picture of how you looked around the front time we first met. I was 16 on a college campus tour. I took this picture of you. Same beautiful girl on your arms today your sweetheart Carrie. You two haven't changed. You haven't changed. I called you up about my new show this show. And your first words to me were, how can I help them. You've always been about promoting and helping others achieve in our team photo book the team voted you the USC team spirit leader, Dr. all you remember that. I do is very, very special. And I was flattered to have the opportunity to lead the USC men's swimming team as a spirit leader and and as team captain, but tremendous privilege. I mean, if this amazing complex you help build Fred, it's, it says it all it's all a dedication and commemoration of other athletes, swimmers divers water polo players coaches, you and your family have built a shrine. You've also erected a beautiful backdrop and training facility for future Trojan swimmers and student body at large. Here's my question. All about lifting up others. Where does that come from what motivated and inspired you to do this. How did you get your start what was your first big break. Well, I think my first break was going to USC and being allowed to join the swim team because I was not a heavily recruited summer coming from the Philippines. And then Coach Dalin said, look, you can walk on. If you do the workouts will let you have a spot on the team. And I actually broke my leg my senior year in high school and I got to campus with my leg in a five glass cast. So not wanting to risk my place on the team I actually swam it with a cast on my leg and a pull boy for the first three months, just to be sure that I would not get get kicked off the team. And you know I look at that coach Dalin said, you know, if you're willing to put in the work will have you on the team and that meant heaps to me because I think in life, when I see a work ethic when I see that dedication. I take a second look at that that person. And assuming at his sport, it's a team event. And so, having that opportunity I wanted the chance to celebrate this with generations of Trojans to come to have this opportunity to train in a world class facility to have access to world class coaches. And let's face it, we individually are only as good as some of our parts and not I'm talking our individual parts I'm talking about those that surround us. I want to celebrate the great Trojans who've come before us and those who follow, and those who will follow for generations to come. There's a lot to come. I'm bummed we have such limited time. News of this show has been trending on social media a little bit not in the viral sort of way but at least, you know as relates to me. We have some questions in advance from some of our audience members who are on today. One of the questions from Michael Stricker of New York is, you talked about this a little bit but what skills did you learn as a student athlete that translated to your professional success. Well, whether you're a swimmer or a football player basketball player I think every student athlete first has to put their academics first. And so if you're training 2025 30 hours a week and then you have a full course load on top of that to me first of all is work ethic. You know, if you just going to school alone and trying to do well in your classes is hard, you add 30 hours of training and competing on top of that that molded me and it's something I learned from my father, who exhibited an amazing work ethic. Then on top of that you have the components of dedication teamwork camaraderie. These all serve me very well in life when I immediately graduated from college, working at a bank, and then when I came back to join the family business. I took those values and those characteristics and use them the way I formed our leadership teams. And that is something that I look for today and I try and inculcate with the people I interact whether I'm advising them or mentoring them. It's something I wouldn't trade for the world. It was a tremendous opportunity.  What culture or cultures most resonate with you. Well my father's Filipino Chinese my mother's American, my wife is American but was raised in Mexico City so we do touch many parts of the of the continent. You know I look at ourselves as as global citizens. I resonate with all of them and I'm comfortable in many different parts of the world. Obviously the Philippines has been my home for the majority of my life. But whether I'm in Los Angeles, or in here in Hawaii, or down in Mexico, I'm comfortable wherever we are. And I guess home is where my wife is, you know, in a cheesy sense of the word but I'm really comfortable in any culture and I think being multi cultural myself makes me more understanding of the place I'm in, it may be different than what I'm used to, but it's not supposed to be the same, and I think that's what we have to learn about when we visit other places when we have to be culturally and racially tall. COVID-19. How's the pandemic impacted your life you mentioned where you live and whatnot. My question then I came to Los Angeles my wife and I did February 29 of last year, thinking we were coming to the States for two weeks to actually watch a James Taylor concert, and the lockdown happened in in the US and Philippines as well. And so we couldn't travel. And the case has been the cases have been very bad in the Philippines has been very difficult dealing with the pandemic there, and still is today. So for us, you know, we've been in the US since February 29 of last year, and probably unlikely to return home until after after the new year. So that's been the difficult part. I've been able to manage business, everything from this side while still trying to help our, our people in the Philippines as much as possible, whether it's on the PPE in the early stages of the pandemic, or now trying to find sources of vaccines, because the country is less than 20% vaccinated. But the silver lining and all this is our children are all in the United States they're actually all in California. And it gave us a chance to spend a lot of time with our children and our grandchildren, and we had two grandchildren born during the pandemic so I really blessed that we have this opportunity and the time to spend it with them. And you know what we're alive. You've shared he's lost a lot of people. I know of many who've lost a lot of people. You're about to celebrate another birthday very soon so happy birthday just days in advance. Thank you. So, living in California with your family, you must have to go outside from time to time. What's happened like what if you is life different from how you know it in the Philippines I mean it's truly a terrible dire situation over there but parts of California where where your kids are have had a rough time of it at times as well. You know, I look at that question in two parts is one, how has it been living in California or Hawaii during the pandemic versus the extreme lockdowns in the Philippines. And of course, you know we've been fortunate to have more freedom in in the US, where you know regardless of the state, even with mask mandates and all of that. That has been a good situation for for us personally. It's been very difficult for colleagues and friends and family that are still in the Philippines. But to me the biggest epiphany that I have observed during the pandemic is it's been 40 year close to 40 years since I lived in the in the US for any extended period of time. At the beginning of the pandemic, I saw what I thought was a kinder gentler, more understanding people, and it's probably the way people were concerned for one another during the early stages of the pandemic. Unfortunately, my observation, whether it's an anthropological study is that as this is worn on and maybe people have been fatigued by the situation. I feel that I feel people have become less tolerant and understanding, and whether it's a politicized situation, whether it's anti vaxxers or anti mask mandate or or the like. It's to me bothersome because it's not the way I think society should behave that we can agree to disagree, and we should do it professionally, we should do it with humility. I see that and I you know I turn on the news, whichever channel you watch and there's a lot of talking over one another. And that concerns me because I don't think that's an example for our youth. That's not the way we settle our differences. It's been an expert, you know, I open her for me, and then I do hope that leaders, whether they're heads of state business leaders, professors of ethics. I find different ways to teach our youth on how to handle our differences. The youth are important. It doesn't end there it begins there for certain. I don't know how we get the message to the ones who are a little bit taller and bigger than that should know a little bit better. We need leaders across the board you are one. I want to ask you when you're running for president of your country. I hope you do, or even our country I think you're qualified but we need all the good will and well oriented people to be in those positions of leadership that we can get. Your presentation is willpower personify, and more than a handful of the press have referred to you as a man of iron will, and even a real life Tony Stark. You have some big secret identity or alter ego. Are you really going to run for president. I am not cut out for for politics at all I mean that the joke I say is that I speak my mind because it hurts too much to bite my tongue. And I perhaps don't exhibit all the diplomacy that's necessary to be a politician. But the iron well, I think comes from observing my father as a young boy and seeing how hard he worked, and knowing his story about having lost everything during World War two, and then having to rebuild from scratch. And that I began to understand more as a young adult, and then when I started to to work with him. And the other part is, as you know, Ben, we were, we were division one collegiate swimmers. And that takes a lot of work. And so that that willpower started there in the pool looking at the black line, six days a week, you know, 50 weeks a year, year after year. And it's what allowed me to persevere in Ironman, because as you know, you're, you know, you're in the ocean for 2.4 miles when you're biking 112 miles and you're running a full marathon after that. And people say, is it physically challenging. And I said it is physically challenging, but I've always felt the toughest part of Ironman is the mental part.  So it's just, I think we, many people have the fortitude, the mental fortitude to do it. It's the training, you know, it's a swim training, it's the work training, the professional training that's allowed us to do that. And people who have participated in the sport who didn't think they had it in them after a period of time they developed that willpower that's not something I think you're necessarily born with. I believe there's a component of that. But I also think it's something that's learned as his leadership. You think in terms of, well, leadership, we can go on on that a lot. I want to touch on the Ironman contest. Another question from one of the audience members, Aisha Holcomb of Honolulu Life. She wants to know how you do it, how you keep your body fit, 50 triathlons, multiple Ironman competitions. How do you do it? How do you still do it? Well, first of all, I'm retired from Ironman competition. It was 17 years doing it. It was wonderful. It's also about cross training because you have to pace yourself, especially as we get older. My last time at Ironman World Championships, I was 50 and so you train differently when you're 50 than you do when you're 30 or 35 years old. So it's about pacing yourself, giving yourself a lot of time to recover and rest up before you go and hammer the next workout. And it's also about managing the loads of training. I had a great coach in Lance Watson who coached Olympic gold medalist and world champions. And so he kind of gave me the type of training that my body could accommodate while still pushing myself. And there are times where you also have to say, look, this is a rest day. But the reality is it's really, it is hard on the body. I've had several surgeries from overuse and work on the shoulders and feet. And so I've gone back into the pool, Ben. I'm back in master swimming where it's a little bit, I would say easier on the body, but it's still hard and it doesn't get any easier as we age. Back into swimming. Are you still doing Ironman or I mean you're credited with bringing Ironman and a whole host of other triathlons and other sports to Southeast Asia, as well as building that championship professional basketball team. Why? First with Ironman, I got involved in doing shorter distance triathlons and then I did my first Ironman abroad. I went down and I raced in Australia. I did Honu several times here on the Big Island, but I really wanted the chance for Filipinos to have that experience. It really is magical, Ben. I mean, I know it sounds hard and it is hard, but the experience and the journey, your body and your mind go through. Training first and then racing one of these events is really special. And so I wanted to bring Ironman to the Philippines, which we did back in 2009. We did it with about 400 or 500 athletes. And now the database of Ironman in the Philippines is over 20,000 people.  So it's to me about sharing that experience with with other people, giving them the opportunity to challenge themselves in a way that they probably had never thought of before. I recently sold the franchise back to Ironman as they were getting ready to take their company private again, but it was a fantastic opportunity to work with the Ironman organization. And I still stay on as an ambassador for them. I didn't realize those behind the scenes mechanics of Ironman that you had to buy something or own something, but it was just it was the only way to really make it happen. I just, we needed to be in control and and understand the, you know, the way of of doing things in the Philippines. It was a great experience and still feel very close to the organization.  But for example, you chose USC.  I imagine you once dreamt those dreams, Olympic gold, maybe had such goals. Have you achieved all your goals. Well, I didn't get to go to Olympics. So that to me is is one of the regrets in life. But, you know, I had the opportunity, but my father felt it was important I start working, and I said if you want to go off and train for the Olympics, you're on your own. And so I got my first job in banking during the 1984 Olympics. Looking back on that, if I had really forced myself, I could have gone I could have picked up a job flipping burgers somewhere and live in an apartment for five other people and do it. So that that's really on me at the at the end of the day. But it's something I wish I'd had the the opportunity. But in terms of success, Ben, I really think success is a continuing journey when you feel that you've accomplished everything in life, it's probably time to meet your maker. And success doesn't necessarily come in the boardroom or in the pocketbook. I think it's a state of mind. You know, I look at now, where, where do I derive my greatest pleasure, a little bit in philanthropy, a little bit about working with young adults, whether these are students that are getting ready to go into college, or getting ready to graduate from college, or our early stage entrepreneurs getting ready to get their business ready for their first series a or taking their company public. I think I'm at a stage in my life personally where it's really enjoyable to watch other people do their stuff and try and teach them some of the things I learned. And if I can impart some of that knowledge and wisdom to them earlier than then later, it'll serve them better. And it's very rewarding to see other people be successful. You know, you're known for saying this. We are measured by what we accomplish, but we are defined by what we attempt. Tell me more, please. Well, when I say people are measured by what they accomplish. So we remember that the gold medalists right, we might remember the silver and bronze medalist, or who won the US Open. But we don't remember the hundreds and the thousands of other athletes who were just trying to get to the starting line. And that's why we are measured, we are defined by what we attempt. We are attempting to do these things and that's where I look at willpower, fortitude, you know, the will to do, and then I don't think those people are celebrated, where media only covers the winners, but they don't cover, take an Ironman. And you know who the world champion is. But what's really special in Ironman is that they also celebrate the last person to cross the finish line before it turns midnight, and which says that the race is officially over. For me is a very important celebration, a celebration of effort of willpower of fortitude. And I, you know, I just have had that quote in my mind because I don't think we recognize the people who are trying, we always recognize just the winners. So really, very important point that has something to do with your iron kids and all the other stuff you do for the teens and the Philippines and elsewhere. Well, you know, iron kids basically came from the children of Ironman athletes who are watching mom and dad going out there and doing it said, Hey, I want to be like mom and dad. You know, it's also a very short distance race, but it's also for us about creating healthy lifestyles for the youth, you know, you look at today's youth and they're on, they're on their phones they're on their PlayStation. They're on some kind of electronic device, and they're not out there running biking or swimming, and they've lost the pension for going out and having a great time perspiring. And I really think if we're not careful that we're going to see the health of our youth be compromised if they're not active at the early stages. You know, they're going to you're going to see heart disease starting in their 40s and 30s, not the 50s and 60s because they have not been active as as young people. You remind me of our former governor of California and fitness. On the subject of kids I don't remember reading or learning about Ashton or Sean or Kayla taking up Ironman or becoming national level swimmers. Listen, they were all great athletes in their own sports, all our children participated in in high school sports. And they were very good, they didn't go on to compete at the D one level, although our youngest daughter did represent the Philippines at the World Touch rugby championships about five years ago. So, to me, again, that's about being defined by what they attempt. They went out there they're good athletes they're still active today. You know, they live active healthy lifestyles.  It's what drives you from inside. Fred, I wish we had more time. There's so much I want to explore and share with our audience members but we're running out of time. You have to wrap this up. The title or episode would be way too long if we were to do credit to you and your multitude of careers. You know, accomplished talent that you are with all the many accolades builder and leader of amazing winning teams, builder and provider of the headquarters for future team members, including a cinematic picture perfect existence, always surrounded by beautiful women. In this case, your wife and daughters, a man of style, one who can wear a suit and deliver a speech. As I said at the groundbreaking ceremony, people are measured by what they accomplish, but they are defined by what they attempt. Today, we see what we have attempted, but we should be proud of what we have accomplished. Thank you and fight on. Viewers, please stay tuned for this. This is where we won some credits of our own, but please wait for it. I trust you, viewers, you will see this for yourselves too now after spending a little bit of time with Fred and I'm sorry I took so much of it up trying to summarize your amazing career. Thank you. Mahalo for joining me today, Mr. Iron Man, Mr. Tony Stark, and viewers. Great catching up with YouTube and thank you. Thank you Fred. Viewers from my home to yours from me and my family to you and yours. Mahalo and Aloha. Best. See you Fred.


So we've seen that the mean free path, the average distance a molecule travels in the gas phase between collisions is given by this expression here. So if we know the temperature and the pressure and the size of the molecule, then we can calculate how far it travels through space before it collides with another molecule. But that raises the also interesting question, how much time passes before it collides with another molecule? How frequently in time do these molecules experience collisions? But we can answer that relatively easily. We know, first of all, we know velocity is distance traveled per unit time. We know the distance traveled by a molecule on average between collisions. We also know the average velocity of molecules in the gas phase. The average velocity and the mean free path are related to each other via the time between collisions. So I've written the time here as tau. Tau is the average time between collisions in the gas phase, so we could call that the collision time. So if I just rearrange that expression to get tau is equal to mean free path divided by the average velocity, and we know what both of those are. The mean free path is kT over square root of 2 and pi and d squared pressure in the denominator. The average velocity, average speed, I should say, remember is square root of 8 over pi kT over m. So this is in the denominator, so I'll write that upside down, square root of 8 under pi, and then the kT is in the denominator, the m is in the numerator, because it's upside down. So this is 1 over the average speed. Now if we just simplify that expression a little bit, let's see, I've got a square root of 2 and a square root of 8 in the denominator, so square root of 16 is 4 in the denominator. I've got a d squared and a p in the denominator, and then I think everything else will be inside a square root, because I have kT divided by square root of kT, so I end up with a kT in the numerator of the square root. I've got a square root of m in the numerator, and I have pi in the denominator, square root of pi in the numerator, so that leaves me with a pi in the denominator of that square root. So if I haven't missed any terms, that would be the average time between collisions. If we want to know that, we can work a quick example. So if we have nitrogen at 298 Kelvin and 1 atmosphere, and as we've seen previously the diameter of a nitrogen molecule when treated as, using the kinetic theory of gases, that diameter is about 3.6 angstrom, so if we wanted to know what's the average time between collisions for nitrogen molecule and the gas phase, we've got two choices. We could either plug into this expression, I'll do that once just to show how the units work out. So 3.6 angstroms for the diameter, that's 3.6 times 10 to the minus 10 meters, that quantity is squared. The pressure, 1 atmosphere, I'm going to want that in SI units, so I'll write that as 101,325 Pascals, or Joules per cubic meter, that's 1 atmosphere in units of Pascals. So that's my 1 over 4 D squared P inside the square root. As usual, when I have a mass and these expressions, I need the mass of one molecule. We certainly know mass of a nitrogen molecule in grams per mole, to make sure the units work out, we're going to need to convert grams to kilograms, and to get rid of the moles in the denominator here, one mole is 6 times 10 to the 23rd molecules. So that leaves me, double check the cancellations, but moles have canceled, grams on top cancel grams on the bottom, so I'm left with just kilograms, that's the mass of a molecule in kilograms. I can also multiply by K and T, Planck's constant temperature, that's all inside this great big square root. On the top of the fraction on the bottom, I've got a pi, so all I need down there is pi. So everything there is in SI units, Kelvin are going to cancel Kelvin, Joules is a kilogram meter squared per second squared, if I add another kilogram to give me kilogram squared, meter squared per second squared, then when I take the square root, that's going to have units of just one kilogram and one meter over one second. Down here I've got, let's see, meters squared, cancels two of these meters in the meter cube, so I end up with the one factor of meter in the denominator, the denominator moves it up to the top, and then the joule is on the bottom. That joule is a kilogram meter squared per second squared, so this joule cancels this kilogram meter squared per second, let's see, doesn't cancel a second squared. So let's see, if I write another second over a second, there's the second squared that's going to cancel, and I'm left with units of just seconds. So the units are going to work out fine, this average collision time is going to be in units of seconds, and if we do all the math, what we'll end up with is a value of 1.5 times 10 to the minus 10 in units of seconds. So 1.5 times 10 to the minus 10 seconds, that would be 150 picoseconds. A picosecond is 10 to the minus 12 seconds, so 150 picoseconds is a very short amount of time, that's on average the amount of time spent between collisions in the gas phase for nitrogen molecule at room temperature and pressure. I mentioned there were two options for how to do this calculation. This is maybe the most straightforward approach using the equation that we've derived for the collision time. We could also go back, since we've previously calculated the mean free path and the average velocity for a nitrogen molecule, we could have done it that way as well. We could have said the collision time is equal to the mean free path divided by the average velocity. And if we recall what those values were when we saw them previously under these same conditions, that was 70 nanometers for the mean free path and 474 meters per second for the average velocity. And if we convert the units, divide this number by this number, it's no surprise that that'll also come out to exactly 150 picoseconds. If you happen to have already calculated the mean free path and the average velocity, this math is, the arithmetic anyway, is significantly easier than using this full expression because we've already done the work of all these unit conversions and square roots in order to calculate these two numbers. So that's the average time between collisions. Often more useful than the average time between collisions is knowing the frequency of collisions. How many times per unit time does a molecule experience a collision? So the collision frequency, we can define as one over the average time. So one over the collision time is the collision frequency, the number of times per second that a molecule experiences a collision. So if the collision time was this expression, the collision frequency is just one over that expression. So one over 4d squared p becomes 4d squared p. The square root turns upside down. So I've got square root of pi over mkt. And that would be the expression for the collision frequency to show you what that looks like for our standard example. Now at this point, nitrogen at 298 Kelvin, one atmosphere of pressure, where the diameter of that molecule is 3.6 angstroms. We could plug into this expression, or again, since we've already calculated the collision time, collision frequency is one over that. So the collision frequency, one over 150 picoseconds, one over 150 times to the minus 12 seconds. That works out to a large number with units of one over seconds. 6.7 times 10 to the ninth, so 6.7 billion one over seconds. So the collision frequency is 6.7 billion times per second. If you picture a nitrogen molecule bouncing around in the gas phase, traveling roughly 70 nanometers between collisions, moving at this velocity, it's going to experience a collision with another molecule about 6.7 billion times per second. So these expressions, particularly the collision frequency, now that we know how many times the molecule collides with other molecules in the gas phase under a certain set of conditions, that will open the door to being able to calculate things about chemical reactions. If a molecule is going to react with another molecule in the gas phase, it needs to first collide with that molecule. So now that we know how often that's happening, we can make some progress towards understanding how quickly the reaction would happen. We're actually going to put that off until later in the semester, and in the meantime, we'll continue talking about other properties of gases.


he stopped making me come see you in fellas let's have a serious talk if you don't understand the importance of making your girlfriend slash wife orgasm on a regular basis you will 1000% lose her what's going on everybody i am popping in to let you know that Squarespace is sponsoring this video look from websites to online stores to marketing tools to analytics Squarespace is an all-in-one platform to build a beautiful powerful stunning online presence and run your business so go check them out now back to the video welcome to shared mic a title we came up with title we came up with three seconds before shooting so we asked the question to instagram what was the reason your last relationship ended and we got over 5000 responses people were very passionate to share their experiences in this way and even though there was a lot of different variances they kind of all grouped together in the same five to seven reasons yep we all dating the same people and the number one reason that we found from the survey that people break up is they said that they outgrew their partner what's fascinating to me about this being the number one response is that it speaks to a drive that we often overlook when it comes to partnerships we think we get into relationships because we want companionship we want access to sex and ultimately for some you want to procreate but what's unique to humans in particular is our ambition our drive to be bigger and greater and smarter than we are today and that's actually known as the self expansion theory and it's a theory of love that people get into relationships in essence to make themselves bigger and again that other person's knowledge you gain their knowledge you gain their network i think if you don't acknowledge that about yourself going into it you're going to find yourself getting frustrated by your partner and not knowing why so if everyone just admits themselves that like you want to use your partner and that's okay it is again it's a natural human drive to want to learn more and to want to gain more in life and to increase your chances of better legacy so choosing a partner who's trending in that direction probably will save both you and that person a lot of heartbreak yeah my ex felt he didn't have to grow as a partner he was okay with his version of good and they said good in quotations did you really outgrow them or did you stifle them or did you not encourage or give them space to grow um because nobody wants to be in a relationship where they feel that their partner is evolving and almost like sticking it in their face um and judging by this response it was just felt like it felt like as she grew she used it as like a badge of honor instead of being like hey look we can both grow uh that obviously we only have the 160 characters so i can't read too far into it i think that's half the truth but ultimately there are people who are just not progressive their reason wanted to experience being more of a player slash f-boy that kind of speaks what i just said yeah knowing what season you're at in your life and being honest about that there are some enjoyable components of hoeing around ethically i think and you had this discussion on enjoy the podcast yeah where you found being a fuckboy was not fulfilling the the bottom line is that's why i was saying like the fuckboy is the worst one because it's not right but it's one of the easiest ones to be yeah it is because especially if you get good at it yeah you're like why would i have the bakery or why would i have my cake when i have the whole bakery the better you get um and the less you get caught yeah the harder it is for you to the hardest for you to want to change a lot of times you don't even have to worry about getting caught you just do your thing pray how old are you again 22 22 so you're like you're in prime fuck i was just gonna say yeah i'm not saying that you are one no i don't know oh yeah i was a fuckboy i'm not gonna lie to you oh no the way you the way you're doing this shit right here that's the fuck boy that's the main thing i do though is just like if i'm not messing with it like or they kind of just annoy me i do a lot of ghosting i'm like i'm like that's that's a fuckboy that's a fuckboy that's like the second i was gonna ask you yeah i mean at the end of the day the fuck fuckboy mentality was it's not fulfilling at least for me like being on the other side being in a in a committed relationship like wait while you were a fuckboy was not fulfilling no i enjoyed it man i'm not gonna hold so you thought the boys i just you feel me i was like the freedom like i feel like when i got a girl like i feel like i got a p o officer right yeah yeah like get off my case like that's because you do a fuckboy shit that's easier though you're gonna get you don't gotta give no explanation no nothing it's just sit block yo damn no great that's a fuckboy that's fucked up bro that's a fuckboy right actually great why don't you give us some of the trades when i stop responding no go hit me up on my other social media so it's like all right well there's two sides of that i'll be i will say this if somebody is not responding to you right the writing's on the wall but then also don't be a dick bro like just tell them you're not interested you know i'm saying they don't especially like they don't that's why they're calling you five we're talking like if i'm hitting you up like once or twice a week you feel me it's like i'm not that involved i i one thing that i will say is usually he is a really smooth talker smooth operating he is able to tell you what you want to hear he's gonna give you all of those things he's very seductive and i think partly of that is because he has so much practice with a lot of different women yeah i think that's also the nice guy because it's that's the charmer i think the nice guy and the fuckboy are very close let's actually dive into that yeah this person wants to be a bit of a fuckboy yeah what would say to them if i were to go back in time and redo my fuckboy phase the way that i would adjust the way that i operated would be i would be a lot more upfront a lot more um transparent in the way that i wanted to operate a way i wanted to um interact with women i would give the woman the opportunity to say this is somebody i want to get involved with knowing all the cards are on the table or you know what i'm good on this i feel like when you're in that fboy stage you're not really giving the opportunity for the women to say you know what i'm not going to attach myself to that i'm not going to expose myself to someone like that um and it sounds like to me that this gentleman is going to be honest because he told the girl that he's with nine times that's him i wouldn't consider that a fuckboy i think being able to identify that that's what you're about to do before you do it a lot of people in hindsight will say yeah that was my like hoe phase that was my fuckboy phase not knowing that that's exactly what they were doing so him to your point knowing it and naming it and claiming it hopefully means he's going to be ethical in his pursuit of it i did not have a healthy sense of self definitely did not love myself enough i like this one because it was one of the very few ones that someone took responsibility for the breakup yeah yeah 99.9 of the responses that we got it was always like thank god yeah i think a lot of times we are tempted to look at the breakup and think about what they did wrong or why it ended because of them um which is natural i understand love is a drug so when you break up with someone you want to think about the worst parts of them so that you can help cope and get over it but in order for us to grow and to find that next healthy relationship you have to find out what was your responsibility in this to go down not saying that this guy was a what so good not saying that this guy was an asshole or a perfect saint i'm sure he did his dirt too but it's just awesome to see somebody look at it look at the relationship and think about what did i do wrong in this situation god damn military flying all over the place uh simple he was a liar you don't want to be with a liar so makes sense people not having the same conception about basics aka loyalty respect etc i feel like loyalty and respect and things like that are very debatable they're kind of like your perspective on them i mean you and i have a video where we debated what loyalty was people have their idea of what loyalty is backwards um i don't believe in being loyal to a person i do believe in being loyal to principles and morals okay because here's the thing i don't even believe in that so that's fair i know see so now we have a discussion we can all agree across the board that respect is important yeah that love is important that communication is important and so we can feel like we've got similar morals and values but our connotations of those things can be completely different yeah which is why i hate the phrase the key to a happy relationship is communication because it has to be so much more nuanced than that it's like saying the key to a good meal is food like fucking what else what are the ingredients and what are those small communication that's that hotep stuff what's hotep hotep is like fake woke oh yeah okay learn something new there i know in my past relationship my partner used to always accuse me of not having respect for them and to this day i have zero fucking clue what they meant by that yeah it was always like i want respect i don't i'm like what like what like what am i doing that's disrespecting you and so and you wouldn't like explain it to you no you just always use that word just that same word like respect respect respect and i just felt like it was their their crutch to lean on ever they were upset and couldn't really quite figure out why they didn't have good communication they didn't have good communication the key to a happy relationship is good communication before we do one more can i just say if you are enjoying this video and it's making you think a little bit about your last relationship and how you can learn from that to have an even better connection in the future or in your present connection right now please go over to my squarespace website because i have a slew of free activities workbooks and quizzes that you can do to better get to know your intimate self including the self summary workbook some of my quizzes that i have and the job listing exercise and if you do not know about squarespace or you don't have a connection with squarespace which powers so much of our big ideas learn more about them if you are an og to this channel i know you've heard us talk about squarespace once or twice and that is because we legit use it all the time we use squarespace for shan's website we use squarespace for my website we use squarespace for the game of desires website we use squarespace for the wedding registry i mean we even put pictures and exclusive content up there for you guys we love squarespace it's so easy to use even for me who has no idea code i find that i can customize our websites effortlessly from templates to in-depth analytics to blogging tools 2021 is going to get started right with squarespace and start that business that you want to do and if you have a mailing list that you already use listen squarespace's mailing list is so cost efficient and way easier to use so i'm just telling you go to squarespace check them out start your 2020 right and get that business started that you've been wanting to start if you haven't done so go to squarespace.com start playing around they got a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash shan booty to get 10 off of your first purchase of a website or a domain again when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash shan booty to get 10 off your first purchase of a website or a domain we were young and needed to grow separately felt like we were holding each other back now to me this is the best type of breakup you win yes i think this is the healthiest type of breakup this is the least amount of heartache this is the both this is when both parties come to terms that this relationship is not serving either of us and we need to separate um i find that you know that saying when a heart breaks and never breaks even that's the one time when it breaks even i i feel like what's cool about this i lost my train of thought what's cool about this breakup is that it leaves the door open to possibly reconcile in the future when you're able to end things before it gets to a place of resentment because i feel like with a lot of the responses that we read it's indicative of them pushing the relationship beyond the point that it should have and that's when you start to get angry towards the person and those passive aggressive tones that we're seeing come when you know you should have ended that shit six months prior but you waited and now you hate that motherfucker so if you can just end at this point what you actually do is make peace with the fact that we're different people on different trajectories but who knows in the future we might line up again and if so at least we're still cordial and the door is still open if we wanted it to be he was too full of himself we saw an infinite amount of claims of diagnosis is that somebody else was narcissistic yes i actually appreciate this because they're not overusing a term which really should be reserved for a certain classification of extreme um antisocial personality disorders which is a narcissist this is just like yeah maybe they're just too arrogant it probably was too full of himself and that could be a thing as well where in the beginning it was it can be there's certain attributes that somebody might have that are seductive to start but get really annoying and obnoxious as time goes on because the guy was trash i hate this phrase i hate this phrase because it's overused it's very vague um if he was indeed trash he doesn't know what to fix he doesn't know what to change other men that hear that phrase we don't know what you didn't like we don't know what happened so when you just lean it on because he was trash it's just wack to me and you're not going to grow from that and you're not going to know what you don't want that's just my opinion i think that's correct because you picked this person you chose i didn't pick him for jared to pick him for you um probably wasn't an arranged relationship so the fact that you were attracted to trash there probably is something in there for you to admit to that's more powerful the other way to read this because the guy was trash is to say because i was at a particularly low point in my life because i lacked drive uh self love connections it was easy for a person who was not that attractive i mean physically attractive i mean didn't have a great partnership package going for them it was easy for that person to market themselves to me because a trash person could never market themselves to me today but definitely you know the last relationship that i was in when i first began that relationship i was at an extreme low point in my life in which that kind of trash individual would be an option for me because i didn't think i deserved better her overly emotional me minimal emotion cool at first got overwhelming for me you know this is what this is the anxious attachment and avoidant attachment yes and these two attachment styles are often attracted to each other because people like to validate what they already think you would rather be right than be wrong even if being right means your own heartbreak yeah so if i believe that relationships are overwhelming and relationships are too draining and people want too much for me as an avoidant person i'm going to be drawn to an anxious person who needs too much of other people to confirm my bias and so these two individuals get into this cycle where all they do is validate each other's fears about love yeah yeah that that's uh that's incredibly put i mean i find that this might not be a situation where um she's overly emotional i think that she may just you know express herself a little bit more and it's to me it sounds like you don't express it all and which both those are fine and it's fine as long as you get into a relationship with somebody uh like you is okay with that continued disagreements over really important topics like religion children and monogamy with these type of things you're never going to win them over if he has a strong stance on religion he has a strong stance on monogamy or he has a strong stance on children you're not going to win them over and you're not going to want to either these are the kind of things that someone needs to change their own mind about i don't want to be the reason you switched religions i think if you're around me and you're inspired by my belief system and you start to take an interest and slowly you find your own connection to the religion that's different yeah but asking someone to change these fundamental parts themselves to please you is a recipe for disaster yeah and like find this stuff out before you get to the continued part continue disagreements like this should have been on the first disagreement like you know what this probably not gonna work it's probably not gonna work i'm wasting my time you're wasting your time let's just let's just call it when i've read this it felt like oh this is the perfect relationship when we're in idli in a hostel and i'm here for three weeks you're here for two weeks we have a short amount of time we have crazy chemistry who gives a fuck that you don't want kids and i do yeah that's when this works other than that you play yourself this one says too honest and too nice those two can't exist together so you gotta pick one were you too honest or were you too nice because you can't be honest and be nice and you can't be nice and be honest so what's what's what's what is it baby what is it i would say to support that it's extremely rare to be honest and nice because of the negative bias so we are designed to survive not to be happy so the human brain naturally is more negative than positive you're going to look at a scenario and risk assess first so majority of our thoughts are negative and you have to find the strength to manage them so if you're honest and you just say whatever you think you're you're saying a lot of mean shit so a lot of the most discerning people are nice in order to be nice you have to be extremely discerning and not all that honest this is a big one probably the most overlooked and undervalued one not by you guys but by men he stopped making me come see you in fellas let's have a series talk if you don't understand the importance of making your girlfriend slash wife orgasm on a regular basis you will 1000% lose her i think that men do not take this seriously i think men think that it's normal for women not to come i think men think that it's not that important but fellas it's very important regardless of what she says regardless if she says well i get a lot of pleasure with just doing it i don't have to come every time she's lying she has to come up figure it out i think that first of all that was enjoyable whenever i watch tv shows and the husband has to beg the wife for sex talk about these heterosexual couples or i'll talk to men who say that in the beginning they were so freaking want to sex all the time and now that we live together the sex job completely dropped off and they're like why to me the answer is like they were never orgasming to begin with so when you first get together with someone one you're incentivized to fake it because you're trying to like pull that person in two the sex actually is exciting just as is without an orgasm because it's a new person like there's emotions there's like dopamine floods that are happening and when all those start to taper off because now this person becomes familiar to you if you're not being incentivized by pleasure there's very little to incentivize you i already have you and i'm not getting that rush anymore so i'd really just rather do like a crossword puzzle yeah so i think that what you said is so important and if you find you're in a relationship where this x drive took an extreme nose dad mind you there's tons of reason we talk about hsdd a lot on this channel we have videos on that so please watch those if you are somebody who experienced a really frustrating drop in sex drive but a lot of the times that if it happens in a relationship it's because you were never really putting it down and that's hard to accept for your ego but once you can do that and become a student of your partner's pleasure it can only get better yeah and i would say that i do blame women sometimes for this because they do fake it you know they do um not explain or they feel embarrassed for to explain to them how to get themselves off um so i just think that men have to go into it thinking i don't know this woman i don't know what she likes i'm here to learn and women have to go into it thinking i know exactly what i want i'm going to tell you what i like uh and be more comfortable in those in those areas that is the video uh i did say that we're gonna call some people but maybe we're gonna put that on my channel we'll still do it and uh and it might be over there on my channel so if you go check it out if it's not there sorry we didn't call y'all what have we called this shared time share the mic shared mic shared the mic yeah shared mic shared mic that's cool shared mic that's our handshake look at it okay unpack that shelf unpack that shit chef yeah lee read that motherfucker i think i i think i


The Adventures of Sam Spade, Detective, brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil Hair Tonic, the non-alcoholic hair tonic that contains lanolin. Wild Root Cream Oil, again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. I'm Spade Detective Agency, good evening. That sounds funny and diolite. Good evening to you and happy 4th of July, Bernardine Hemp. Oh, Mr. Spade, what was the capper? Don't you mean caper? No, the capper, the crescendo, the pinafore. That's better, for a minute, I was afraid you were learning English. Oh, no, I'm studying Spanish. Soy, infeliz, canesia... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mucho interesting. Gracias. Shall I go home now? No, Malsuerte. There's a little matter of murder in two languages, neither of which is Spanish, so stay where you are. I'll be right down to dictate my report on the rush light diamond caper. Daschle Hammett, America's leading detective fiction writer and creator of Sam Spade, the hard-boiled private eye, and William Spear, radio's outstanding producer, director of mystery and crime drama, join their talents to make your hair stand on end with the adventures of Sam Spade, presented by the makers of Wild Root Cream Oil for the hair. Listen, man, to this holiday tip on good grooming to help spark up your whole appearance, first be sure that your hair is well groomed. Be sure it's groomed with popular Wild Root Cream Oil hair tonic. Wild Root Cream Oil grooms your hair neatly and naturally the way you like it, the way she likes it.  So look your best all the time by sprucing up right with Wild Root Cream Oil hair tonic. Again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. And now with Howard Duff starring as Spade, Wild Root brings to the air the greatest private detective of them all in the adventures of Sam Spade. Date, July 4, 1948, to Mrs. May Rushlight, 21A, Granite Court from Samuel Spade, license number 177596. Subject, the Rushlight Diamond. Dear Mrs. Rushlight. It was the kind of nice relaxing assignment that comes my way just often enough to remind me that gum chewing can be respectable. There was an air of quiet elegance about 21A, Granite Court, and about the butler who answered the door. He took in my rented gray topper and those skin gloves, knotted approvingly at my wing collar, watered silk ascot, pearl gray waistcoat, morning coat, pinstripe trousers, and my spats with the mother of pearl buttons, and asked me if I were a florist. I set him the rights and he led me up a flight of stairs to the early AM annex of your morning room. Mr. Samuel Spade.  Mrs. Rushlight will be pleased. I'm Nancy Ward, Mrs. Rushlight's social secretary, and if you don't think that's tough to say, try it. Mrs. Rushlight's socials? I don't know what's tough about that. You'll do. Definitely you'll do. Shall we dance? I will dance at her wedding. But don't get me wrong, I'm not secretly in love with Ralph Rushlight and the bride is lovely to take to see all that money going down the drain. Is there anything else you think I should know? You know what your job is. You're supposed to guard the wedding present. That's simple because it's nothing but a lot of cheap silver. And stay away from the champagne. It's non-vintage. The food will be foul. The guests are the most dismal aggregation ever assembled. Sounds like a lovely party. I arranged the whole thing. I told you she's a lovely bride. What's she ever do to you? I'd rather not say. I don't want to sound bitter. This way, Mr. Spade. The old hat. Mrs. Rushlight will see you now. Thank you. Florence Nightingale. Nancy? Oh. This is it, darling. Mr. Spade. You come over here, young man, so I can get a better look at you. How's this? It's good. Turn around. Yes, you'll do. That'll be all, Nancy. Or couldn't I be finishing up these place cards while you talk? Take them with you. Do them outside. Very well. Nosey girl. But nice. Nice nose. Oh, you too, eh? Well, I agree. That's why I'm marrying off my nephew to that wretched girl, Lottavan Ike. Have you ever seen Bugs Bunny, Mr. Spade? You don't mean the... They protrude. The ears? No, the teeth. As my late husband used to say of her mother, she could eat a tomato through a tennis racket. There's only one thing that'll prevent this wedding from being a not a disaster. She doesn't understand much English. What's the matter with your nephew? A great deal, but it doesn't show. Suffice it to say, he has criminal tendencies in the mentality of a snail. Mrs. Rushlight, I don't like to seem forward, but why are you telling me all this? Oh, you're supposed to mingle with the guests. You'll need some conversation. Now, as to your assignment, the bride, being what she is, the wedding presents are hardly worth guarding, except for one. Ironically enough, it's from me. What is it, a machine gun? Oh, that's good. Oh, excuse me, I must write that down. And then tear it up immediately. Oh, dear. No, no, Mr. Spade, but it's bad luck, the Rushlight Diamond. You've heard of it? Something about it in the American weekly a while back, wasn't it? Yes, yes. It's not as large as the Hope Diamond, but there's not a flaw in it. My late husband, Roy Rushlight, bought it for his first wife. She sank with the SS General's Slocum in Hellgate, the East River, 1904, over a thousand lives lost. Luckily, she was wearing a paste copy at the time. I was only a young girl when I married Mr. Rushlight, and a fool that I was, I signed anything his lawyers asked me to sign. After his death, I discovered that the diamond was to be mine, only until the marriage of my husband's male heir, at which time it must go to his bride. Well, that's too bad. You say, though, that the Rushlight Diamond is bad luck. Oh, there is that, of course. I wonder if it's too much to hope. Well, I must go and help dress the bride. Go along downstairs, Mr. Spade, take this jewel case with you. Put it on the table with the other presents, and guard it well. So I took the old velvet-covered case you held out to me and checked the contents. It was an old-fashioned lavalier with a clear stone pendant only slightly smaller than an eight-ball. Didn't look like a diamond, but smooth-cut diamonds hardly ever do. It didn't look like bad luck either, but a mirror broke in the hall as I passed it, and I fell all the way down the stairs, and as I entered the ballroom, I knocked over a punch-ball. Nothing really terrible happened until just before dark when the guests began to arrive. In theory, a detective guarding wedding presents is supposed to make himself indistinguishable from the other guests. In practice, it never works out that way. He has to spend most of his time within sight of the booty, so he is very easily spotted. I don't believe it. He's too good-looking. Oh, but he must be. He's not anybody we know. Well, ask him. It's leap year. Oh, here comes Colonel Bixby. He'll know. Wow, wow, wow. Beauty gathered round the booty, huh? Much more beauty than booty, though. Say, when are they going to hang the diamond on that drip? No, no. There's no way to talk about the blushing bride. Is that it in the crummy old case there? That case is heirloom, young lady. The stone that reposes in it is worth a king's ransom. Now, take your grubby hands elsewhere.  Well, just because he's going to give the bride away thinks he can order everyone around. Mr. Spade, allow me to congratulate you, sir. These affairs, one all too often, sees the detective on guard duty at the punch ball. I was forewarned. Oh, yes, very bad champagne. Flat. I'd be glad when these ill-starred nuptials are consummated. And by the way, Bixby's my name. Colonel Asander Bixby. Colonel? It is my melancholy and thankless duty to give the bride away to the hapless groom, Ralph Rushlight. However, it's much better to give than to receive. You tell that to me, Rushlight. You're quite a trinket. Uh-uh-uh, mustn't touch. Grubby hands, remember? Oh, sense of humor as well as sense of duty. Candidly, if I knew a place to fence it, I'd be the... Oh, Miss Ward. How lovely you look. Poor Ralph. Mrs. Rushlight asked me to warn you to get ready. The bride will be down in a moment. Good grief. Well, I suppose I must steal myself. Where did I leave my glass? Keep your eye on that old goat, Mr. Spade. I don't trust him. Who is he? He's the only one here who knows why this wedding's happening. Is the bride's foster father. You mean he's got something on the family?  Look, Nancy, it's none of my business, but I... Oh, God. Starving. I'll have to go in now. Oh, wait. What? How does it go, uh, speak now or forever hold you peace? No, I... I can't do that. Thank you for understanding. I didn't witness the ceremony, but judging from the mood of those who had, it was just as well I didn't. They shuffled back into the ballroom looking as if they'd witnessed an execution. Nobody seemed to be in a hurry to join the receiving line. After a few half-hearted handshakes, the groom left the bride standing alone, looking kind of bewildered, and came over to take inventory of the presents. Look at that junk. I'm Ralph Rushlight. Who are you? Spade. I was hired to guard this junk, as you call it. Sorry I'm wasting my time. The Rushlight time. It's bad luck. Look at what it did to me. What got her? Did you ever say anything? Give it to yourself. Why should I? Because I'm liable to slap you clear across this room. Haven't I been punished enough?  Keep your hooks off that necklace. That's mine. I heard it's your wife. Come along, I heard you wrong. Come along over here. Oh, Mr. Spade, you haven't met the bride yet, have you? No, I... Thank you. I wish you a lot of luck, Mrs. Rushlight. You're going to need it. Thank you. Well, I suppose now, as well as any time, Colonel. Oh, very well, my dear. Quiet, please. Quiet, everyone. Mrs. Rushlight, the old, the elder Mrs. Rushlight that is, has something to say to you. Mr. Spade. Yes? The necklace. Will you please hand it to me? With pleasure. I'm tired of looking at it. Oh, you're not done yet. Stay close by my side. Dear friends, at this solemn moment, I want, first of all, to welcome this dear little girl into the Rushlight family. Thank you. Yes. And now, dear Lotta, I will place around your neck the gem which was my heritage when I became a Rushlight, and which is now yours. Thank you. I was wrong. Lotta, come back here. Lotta.  You leave her alone. I'll take care of her. Whose wife is she anyhow? Lotta, come back here. Lotta, bring it back. I was almost ashamed to join in the chase, but I had to because I'd been hired to guard the Rushlight Diamond, and for my money, the best way to do that was to help her get away. Somebody got to her before I did. A strip of wedding gown satin marked the spot. The body lay crumpled under a hedge, but it wasn't the bride's body. It was the groom. He'd been stabbed to death with a pair of garden shears, which made sense. But what didn't make sense was that the necklace she'd been wearing was still clutched in his hand. The makers of Wild Root Cream Oil are presenting the weekly Sunday adventure of Dashel Hammett's famous private detective, Sam Spade. If you want the well-groomed look that helps you get ahead, socially and on the job, listen. Recently, thousands of people from coast to coast who bought Wild Root Cream Oil for the first time were asked, how does Wild Root Cream Oil compare with the hair tonic you previously used? Better than four out of five who replied said they preferred Wild Root Cream Oil. And no wonder. Wild Root Cream Oil grooms the hair neatly and naturally, relieves annoying dryness, and removes loose dandruff. What's more, non-alcoholic Wild Root Cream Oil is the only leading hair tonic that contains soothing lanolin. So ask for Wild Root Cream Oil Hair Tonic. Again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. By the way, smart girls use Wild Root Cream Oil too, and mothers say it's grand for training children's hair. And now back to the Rushlight Diamond Caper, tonight's adventure with Sam Spade. Number 21A Granite Court was teeming with motives and suspects. But the police were primarily interested in locating a lot of the missing bride and widow of Ralph Rushlight. So was I. She looked like less work than the rest of it because if she had killed him, it was self-defense if she knew enough English. By 10 in the AM, when I checked in at my office, she was still successfully eluding the police dragging her. That was because nobody, including me, had thought of looking in my office. Good morning. Thank you. Is that all the English you know? Thank you, no. I want my necklace. The police haven't. You go with me and tell them who I am. Okay, but first I have to know who you are, where you came from, what your connection with Colonel Bixby is. I am in Macassar being born. In Macassar? Dutch colony. My father, there's seven years ago dying is. When I 13 years old have arrived. I see. Colonel Bixby in San Francisco, the financial representative from my father was. I am adopted to him, not for a father, but so he takes care of my money, switch coming of age am I a rich Dutch woman. Uh-huh, but legally he's your foster father. Yeah, also legally I'm either wife of Rushlight. I want my necklace. You married him for the necklace? Yeah. Why did he marry you? For one half of necklace when we sell, but all everything to take he wishes. You and Ralph are going to divvy the take from the Rushlight diamond you thought. Yeah, yeah. And what was the Colonel going to get? Money for Mrs. Rushlight. Oh, no, wait, that doesn't make sense. Mrs. Rushlight stood the lows of small fortune by that marriage. Why should she pay the Colonel to promote it?  You said that. Where my necklace are, that I say. Yeah, well, look, I'm not as sure as I was. Wait just a minute. I'll check on it. I'm aside, Lieutenant Dundee. I spade, Dundee. Hiya, Sam. What's new on the Rushlight caper? You know I can't talk about the case, Sam. Oh, I got a line on that girl. Oh, where is she? You know I can't talk about that, Dundee. Oh, you can't, can't you? Well, let's see if this doesn't change your mind. The necklace we found on Rushlight's body was a phony, a paste copy. Uh-huh. Does that make her guiltier than she was before? Well, now she's got a motive, throws all our previous theories into a cocked hat. Now, where's the girl? She's in my office, Lieutenant, dear. Come and get her. Thank you. Oh, it's you, Sam. Back again? Yeah, do you mind? Well, that depends on who you came to see. You, sweetheart. But, uh, first I'd like to talk to Mrs. Rushlight. Well, she can't see anyone. She's in a state of nervous collapse over the... Over Ralph's death. Oh, that's too bad. You, uh, seem to be holding up pretty well. Well, I'm relieved. He's better off dead than married to that... Yeah. Rushlight Diamond's still unlucky, you know. What do you mean by that? I was just trying it on for size. How does it fit? Yeah, but you and Mrs. Rushlight are about the same size. Her nerves getting any better? You're the doctor. If you want to see her, go ahead. She's up there. Thank you. Mrs. Rushlight, I'm sorry to break in on you like this, but I haven't got much time. Oh, get Nancy! Nancy! Try this, that girl. Mr. Spade, please, leave me alone with my grief. Funny thing, yesterday Nancy was carrying a torch for Ralph and you were holding the torch to him. Today it's different. Oh, good, Evans. You don't think I'm grief-stricken over Ralph? Good, that's one less mystery. Mr. Spade, what do you want? Your nephew's killer. Oh, does it matter? It does, to me. Somebody getting knocked off right under my nose is bad for private detectives everywhere. Oh, for a moment I thought that... See, wouldn't you rather make some more money? I refuse to marry Lara. Oh, no, nothing like that. It's the necklace, Mr. Spade, the genuine. What is? I don't know. All I know is the other one isn't. Who told you then? Well, why, the police know. It's in the papers, isn't it? Not yet. Well, how else would I learn? The murderer's the only one who could have told you unless you're the murderer. I see. Very well, Mr. Spade. I'll tell you what I know. I'm not as wealthy as you might think. In fact, I have, for four years, lived from pillar to post, from hand to mouth, rag tag and bob tail, struggling to make ends meet. Now, what you mean is you're eking out a meager existence, keeping ahead above water, one jump ahead of the sheriff, stalked by the grim specter of poverty. Is that right? Oh, well, you put it. In fact, Mr. Spade, I'm something of a crook. I've borrowed large sums of money from Colonel Bixby, putting up his collateral, something that was not mine to forfeit. Don't tell me. Let me guess. It was the rush light diamond? Well, you seem to know everything. All but one thing. Why did you think you could palm off a paste copy on an operator like Bixby? He sent you here. I won't tell you another single thing. Well, then I'll tell you a few things. The only way the rush light diamond could be transferred legally into the hands of Colonel Bixby was by tricking Ralph into marriage with Lotta, since Ralph's wife automatically became the legal owner. With Ralph dead, Bixby would be in line to inherit the diamond from her. Inherit? California state law. Forster parent may inherit from a foster child in absence of any direct heir. Well, why, then he planned. He'd kill her too. Mr. Spade, we must stop him. She's safe for the time being. I had her thrown into the pokey. They can hold her 48 hours for questioning, but they can hold you longer. They can even hold you as an accessory before the fact. Why? Why, I didn't know he was going to kill anyone. Lotta was just going to hand over a million buck diamond to Bixby out of the kindness of her heart? Oh, no. Lotta wanted to become an American citizen. Marriage is the quickest way. For her, Ralph was the only way. Okay, I'll buy that. Now, tell me honestly, Mrs. Rush Light, what happened to the genuine stone? I honestly didn't know. I wasn't sure. But now there can be only one answer. Lancy with the laughing face? She went with me when I went to the bank vault to get the Rush Light diamond to present to Lotta after the ceremony. She looked after all my jewels, including the paste copy that I habitually wore. I dreamt. I'm aside, Lieutenant Dundee. Spade again, Dundee. I think I got the Rush Light caper all wrapped up. I'm heading for your office now, so wait for me. And whatever you do, don't let that Lotta dame out of your sight. Thank you. Goodbye. Wait a minute, Sam. Wait a minute. Yeah? The Lotta dame, she's already gone. Escape? Veiled out, custody of her foster father. Wait a minute. I got the name here, Sam. Bixby. He's a colonel and no wonder you're only a lieutenant. Contraste fatigue? Not thirsty. Lancy? Lancy, where are you? Oh, here I am, Sam. I was waiting for you. You got the keys to that car out in front? Well, yes. Do you want to borrow it? Yes, with you in it. Why, Sam, where did I put my face on? Let it go. It's as good as lost anyway. Come on. What is this place? Where are you taking me? Never mind. Just hang on. I'll fly you up to the second floor. Sounded like Lotta. You stay here.  Get back in there. Drop it. No. Drop it or I'll crack your elbow. That's better. Now, sit down. Now, look this over. Looks real cute. Powder burns, gun beside the chair, and what's this? Well, well, well, a note in Dutch. It's a suicide note. She killed herself. I can almost believe that. You've handled this very well, considering the bad breaks you've had. Only one thing wrong. Do I send to bargain? I don't have to bargain. I've got the diamond. All you've got is two murders wrapping on your thick noggin. Don't be absurd. I know who has the real necklace. Then you better talk to her directly. You can come in now. Sam, a homely little dame. What did she ever do? Stop. You're breaking my heart. She committed suicide. You know better than that. She committed suicide. If the colonel's price is right. Oh, I see. I'll put it to you directly. It's not easy to fence. It'll have to be cut. That'll decrease the value considerably. Say, $10,000, no questions asked. Pardon me. That's suicide shot. It's ringing in my ears. I can't hear you. Hey, 20,000. 50,000. All right, 100,000.  Take it. I'll give you a real break, colonel. That's the cops coming after you. Anything, spade. What do you want me to do?  What are you going to do? There's the door. Go ahead. All right. Thank you, colonel. Desperate. Mix me. We're giving you a chance. Come down or we're coming up after you. Come on. Come on. Get up, colonel. Here he comes. Come on. It may be a trick. Watch it, Dundee. Here he comes. In that, Mrs. Rushlight is the crop. For a man that went down fighting, colonel Bixby didn't need much persuading once they got him into the lights down at headquarters. He confessed to everything and the murders weren't the worst of it the way I figure.  It's tough enough to be whipped before you start. Period. End of report. My goodness. That was moody, tristy.  Effie, depressed?  Only between she and I in the lamppost. She's so sensitive, you know. Not like I, of course. I invariably cry at weddings. You don't say, Bernadine. You attend weddings often? With high frequency, Mr. Spade. You mean frequently? No, no. The last time it was FM. You know, frequency moderation? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Moderation and all things, I always say. You mean you attend radio weddings? Oh, yeah. I've been married six times. My next date is television. You've been married six times? Well, to each his own, Mr. Spade. You mean six men have... Oh, no. No, I only marry my husband. Repetition is the spice of variety, I always say. Is that legal? If it's not after six weddings, what isn't? To each his own, as you say. Well, we don't presume to make a career out of it. As soon as we get the mangler and the deep freeze, we're gone on our honeymoon. Well, congratulations, and, uh, type this up when you have the time. Mrs. Bernadine Hemp. Every day, more and more men are turning to wild root cream oil for truly handsome hair. And that's not surprising, for what other leading hair tonic gives you these big advantages. It grooms the hair neatly and naturally. Relieves dryness, removes loose dandruff. What's more, wild root cream oil is non-alcoholic and contains soothing lanolin. No wonder wild root cream oil is the favorite with so many millions of smart particular men. Get wild root cream oil. Again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. I'm sorry it took so long, but I kept relaxing into Spanish. Hi, Sanna. And at least typewriter doesn't have any upside down question marks. Upside down. Take a memo. Call typewriter man. I already have. Oh, um, I almost forgot. You received a telegram at commutation. A telegram, what? A wire. Oh, a wire. Well, open it and read it. In English, for fervor. Uh, it says, uh... Dear Sam. Figures.  Well, when I do that one another favor, she'll have silver threads. Who? That ball of fire whom I'm taking the place of in order to be double-crossed up by... Effie, is she still in far-off canab? And good rubbish if you'll pardon the expression. Oh, Bernadine, let me see that. I, uh, I neglected to warn you about Bernadine. I'm sending the tales airmail special, but in the meantime, whatever you do, don't go to any radio broadcast with her. And if she comes to work in a wedding gown, take the day off. Love, Effie. And I had two tickets for honeymoon payoff, and now she went and spoiled everything. Oh, now there, Bernadine. You just have to marry your husband again. That's all. I wouldn't have had the time, anyway. I know. It's just the principle. Good night, Mr. Spade. Good night. Buenos noches. Hasta la vista. Effie, why did you ever leave me? The Adventures of Sam Spade, Dashel Hammett's famous private detective, are produced and directed by William Spear. Sam Spade is played by Howard Duff. The Adventures of Sam Spade are written for radio by Bob Tolman and Gil Dowd, with musical direction by Lud Gluskin. Gil Dowd directed tonight's broadcast in William Spear's absence. Join us again next Sunday for another adventure with Sam Spade, brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil. Again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. This is Dick Joy, reminding you to... Get Wild Root Cream Oil, Charlie. It keeps your hair in trim. You see, it's non-alcoholic, Charlie. It's made with sooth and lanolin. You better get Wild Root Cream Oil, Charlie. Start using it today. You'll find that you will have a tough time, Charlie. Keep on all the gals away. Hiya, Baldi. Get Wild Root right away. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.


I'm KC Solans and I'm the Employer Relations Manager of Graduate Career Services here at the Gerald R. Ford School of Public Policy. MPP students at the Ford School are required to complete a summer policy-related internship in order to graduate. The summer internship serves as an opportunity for students to apply the skills that they've learned in a real-world setting. This allows students to explore and further develop their career. To meet the requirement, the internship must be full-time in 10 consecutive weeks after the student's first year in the MPP program. The internship should be policy-focused, challenging, and of significant importance to the organization. It's important that by the conclusion of the internship, students complete at least three of the following objectives. Acquire and demonstrate analytical skills necessary for successful policy analysis. Develop a sophisticated understanding of public policy institutions and processes and the implications these have for policy development and implementation. Develop, practice, and refine communication skills appropriate to the policy arena. Develop and refine leadership, management, and decision-making skills, demonstrate ability to integrate analytic, institutional, communication, and management skills. Prior to starting an internship, students must complete an internship agreement form. This fully outlines the scope of work that the student will complete over their 10-week internship. The agreement form serves to solidify project objectives and goals and to ensure that the internship meets the Ford School requirement. At the end of the internship experience, students will complete an internship report. This serves as a formal opportunity for students to reflect on their internship experience and identify major takeaways. The internship experience provides students an opportunity to apply their skills in a practical way, cultivate their professional network, as well as continue to develop their professional identity. We look forward to working with you and Go Blue!