Oh, what I'm doing? I'm just lurking on the new merch. I know you've been lurking on the site trying to figure out what you want. All this, this is coming. These shirts, these hats. By the time you see this, guess what they'll be? On the site. Just do it, you know you want them back. I don't care how much you bought. This is new to me, so it's new to you. Do you want to hook up? Use the promo code.  Nah, for real, go to the website and get you some of this, bro. This is made out of good soft t-shirt material. We got t-shirts made out of t-shirt material, and we got jogger pants made out of jogger pants material. Look at this, this is crazy. That is so dope. Plus, you need to switch it up a little bit.  You already got all the design in the world, but this is black on. And if you buy it, it'll still be black on, because you black, right? Well, if you not, buy something black on. White people haven't been supporting black-on businesses. That's why we started this one. But now that we're here, you can buy something, too. Just wear it around the house if you're not comfortable enough.  Hey, I'm Carlos Miller. Are you tired of not knowing what to cook when you're stressed for time? HelloFresh can make it simple. You get fresh pre-measured ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your door. HelloFresh offers 10 to 20-minute meals, low-prep recipes, and quick breakfasts and lunches, perfect for your busy schedule. Go to hellofresh.com slash 85-south-1-2 and use the code 85-south-1-2 for 12 free meals, including free shipping. You know, because when I order my chicken and rice and lambs and raviolis and sesame beef tacos and things of that nature, they come right to the crib ready to go. HelloFresh offers the flexibility you need with customizable orders every week. You can easily change your delivery days or food preferences and skip a week whenever you need. So if you want to be cool like me, go to hellofresh.com. Going slow so you don't mess it up. Use the code 85-south-1-2 for 12 free meals only. It's crazy. In every way, David Bannon, nigga. You ain't. You know.  No, you're not.  No, you're not. You used some big words today, nigga. No, you're not. Don't do that. No, you're not. No, you're not. Look at y'all. This is the reunion. I don't talk to nobody, wife and my DM. Whatever. I've been watching TV like a mother. Me too. Oh. Keep it royal. Like the British time.  What's the problem? Oh, we're gonna get, hold up, don't talk about it yet.   Oh, man. I know Clay English gathers the opinion about the royal family. Even mention them because they've been spamming me. I'm gonna get so smart. Who? What in 10 for the queen tonight? Stop saying stuff like that. Stop saying stuff like that. Stop saying stuff like that. What do you think? Stop saying stuff like that. Hold on. Stop saying a little like that. You haven't for a long time. 60, 90 something. Just stop playing. Everybody stand here too. Everybody laugh. I hear I'll be 100 that week. That's a healthy family. They do what they do. Drink blood is what I'm sure they don't know. They got white people's secrets. For real? White people's secrets. White people's secrets. They matter here. You know they got all them white people's secrets. Ericka! What's up, man? You get this. No, they ain't got no trust. What's been going on in the world? Clayton, though. What you talking about? You got me a list of current events. I got to get Ericka and the Duchess to give me some updates on the outside world. Oh, yeah, you know I know. What's up with the little boy selling all them niggas? And now they talking about the snickers that I've got by some of that boy over there. Talk about with the momma. What's the on? Vice president. Vice president.  On today? It's your name on the LL soon. Come on, now.  Things white people do. She just said you ain't got no secrets.  It's not. It's not. It's literally none. They just pictures. It's all the pigment of your imagination. You never snickers, though. You never seen anybody wear the snickers that you were trying to buy. Come on, man. We're at with you. If you got the snickers you want to buy in the store.  In the last three years, maybe four or five times. Mm-hmm.   You got small size. Oh, yeah. I'm about to make some spaghetti. I hope you can make it over.  What's wrong with that nigga, man? I don't know who I'm talking about. Are you coming over for spaghetti? I don't know. No. Uh-oh. So you're not going to come over for any spaghetti? Why am I wasting time making spaghetti? No, I'm not wasting time making spaghetti. I'm making spaghetti. I'm making water. I'm making spaghetti. Not in that bag, lady. Oh, no. What's wrong with that? I ain't gonna make it, man. I ain't gonna make it. We ain't even started. I know.   Get him juice. I got a coffee right here. I got my little coffee. Who asked for the water? He did. You want a juice? I don't want a juice. You know you want a juice, lady. I don't have a juice. Hey, excuse me. It seems like the party's picking up, so I guess I'll have a juice now. Juice is for everyone. Everyone, juice, juice, please. Somebody get me a capri sign. I need to change the clothes. I'll get the pass. That's all I want.  That's my mama. That's all I want. Give me mine. I love him, though. My husband got me watching how the killer, killer step up. Y'all be watching murder mysteries together? Yes. Yes, I'm not. Don't tell me that's stunning on us with a good-ass relationship.  I mean... These just swats, though. Don't yell at me, girl. I don't know who you think I am. Who is that, Bala? What? What do you mean?  Oh, okay.  I'm going to have to see you in a minute. Hold on. Oh, yeah. Bring some more tape. Cat tape. Oh, y'all changing shirts? Oh, yeah, I'm changing shirts. Hey, man, throw me a beanie. Change your shoes. I put a hole in everything. You got to change your shoes? Oh, yeah. I ain't bring no more shoes. You try to go see that movie. What movie? Girl, that could've been any movie. Uh-uh. Date movie. What do you think? Yeah. About his life. Yeah, about his life. Yeah. Cat worked on it. Cat worked on it.  Yeah, I like that sweater. I got y'all some gifts, too. What you bring us? My shirts. I think you need to come out with your own land of thot ice. Thot ice. Yeah. You know what? I get a lot of attention when I go to the airport with that shirt on. I do that. You got a shirt? Give me a shirt. Look at that shirt. Advertise. Advertise. Advertise. We got to advertise. Hey, man, if Capri Sun don't reach out to us, we're going to switch to Kool-Aid Jammers. Y'all want to switch to Kool-Aid Jammers? I switched to Kool-Aid at my house. Kool-Aid Jammers. Mm-hmm. The Jammers. In the. In the little plastic. In the tube. In the tube. In the tube. And then they still make that. Make this, too. Trust me. It's a strategy. Well, you know how they're doing all the low-fat stuff now. You got to make your own Kool-Aid. Oh, what are you? Do y'all vote to switch to Kool-Aid? Yeah, I will. Vote for Kool-Aid. Capri Sun has not hit us back in time and time, so we will be switching to Kool-Aid. Have you spoken with Kool-Aid yet? Did Kool-Aid hit us back? Did you speak with Kool-Aid? Hey, should get some money sometime this year. Dear Kool-Aid, are you listening to what I am saying? I have a proposition for you. And I'm not playing. We can get money. And that's going to be on the other one. But get this voice the entire time.    They must. They must understand how valuable I am. They don't understand. I have hundreds of different assholes like them. They don't deserve loaves. You don't get loaves every time. Loaves is me right now. You deal with me directly.  I am your new counselor. What is your name? My name is Hattie. That's right. Don't you ever forget it. Who are you? I remember you. You were smaller then. Now you're taller. Maybe it's the boots. Hey, motherfucker, did you run out of music?  Are you tired of me yet? I'll keep you working. He thinks I don't know. I heard this one before.  Oh, sir.  I like it. Yes, like a Spanish drug dealer. Something about that one. It's like an empty can, clink-ling about. Clink-ling about. Clink-ling. Oh.  Her name was Kaling-ling. Kaling-ling. She gave an excellent Kaling-ling-ish. I like this. Do you like this? Yes. What's in that cup? I know it ain't coffee. It's coffee. You lying. What's else in it? Mm-mm. I had some wine back there, but I had to stop drinking it. Oh, okay.  For real?  Damn, nigga. That's a sword.  That's not a noise. This is a noise. A noise. Do y'all work with that motherfucker? Yeah. Cut all kind of roots. Hell, yeah.  Yes, it is. Clayton rolled a nut. Mm-mm. As usual. Hey, I don't normally do this. Hey, this is like... Something new to me.  Mm-mm. So, Erica, I heard you got a date tonight. This real friends? Yeah, black friends. Can I borrow $20 from both of y'all? Are you trying to go out again? Yeah, man, I'm at this girl in Craigslist. She just need $40 for some gas money when she get here. $40. Yeah. I give you $20. You owe me $20 already. Yeah, but I don't owe him $20. I don't owe any of you more than anything. Adam Pollock's head. And I'll be hosting the show tonight.  Bring it back.  Bring it back. Bring it back. All right. No, not that nigga.   You think I didn't see you? You look the smushy head.  I bet they're smushy. You don't think I know it? I see it. It's very smushy. Matter of fact, that would be your new name. I don't know you. Who is this guy, Smushy? That's his name. Hey, Smushy, roll it up. Smushy? Clay, you been dealing with this for 20 years.  You just got a lady doing it alone. Hey, man, this is not my first rodeo. I'll be trying to see what's going on inside his head. Me and this dude, they had the stupidest days and nights. I don't know. I know it. I don't know what's happening, bro. I already know.  He would tell you, one night we had a show. We left Marietta.  Pitch black dark. We get to the east side.    We got to the other side of town. The motherfucking wasn't even dark over there. It was the middle of the night.  We were in Marietta when we left. We got to the other side of town and looked up. I was like, bro, don't even look like morning over here. My explanation was it was rainy and it was cloudy, so it was dark. And then we drove to what no more clouds. A nigga in the sun was back out. But it was too late for the sun to even really still be out. That's the scientific explanation. I said, I'm giving you the scientific explanation that I made for myself, so I wouldn't be like it got daytime in the middle of the night. We got to the club and we were supposed to be on time. We got to the club and we was dumb early. Oh, so it was like in the middle of the day shit, right? Like nine o'clock. It was nighttime. We thought. What y'all knew was smoking? It was decent. We always smoked decent. When Bo Hagen said, we going to drink pretty good and smoke decent, but that's the standard right there. We were never out here just huffing glue. We were never smoking the Babbage. Never. I do smoke Babbage. I don't heard of it raining on one side of town and not on the other side of town. See, that's why we're going to tell this story of life. But that's what it was, but it wasn't. It was that plastic. I believe y'all got a little photo. Don't believe I seen a UFO. I do. I seen it. Tell me the story. Hold on. This whole next segment is classified. This is classified. Welcome back to the 85th Self Show. We're going to call this one. Kettle classifier information. Come on. Starsighted. Violet. Indigo children. Come on. Parallel universes. Funkadelic. The mothership. Portals. Come on. Middle-earth. Come on. Conspiracy theories. Come on. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Did she read it? Handling. AKA the long hair sucker. Welcome to a time call right now. Amen. You got to put your sunglasses on so you feel cool. You saw UFO, don't tell your story. Yeah. I've really seen a UFO. See, I was working in public. I stayed in Colorado by working at the public's on the Roswell, right? I was about eight to nine months pregnant. I'll never forget. I'll listen to my wife here. That's important to the story. Yes. What song? As you see. Because you know it makes a difference. In the beginning. You know what? Fly like a sky. It was something like that with the sky song. But it was like a spiritual song. Y'all know what I'm talking about? It's fly like a bird. Oh, fly like a bird. Fly like a bird. Yeah, not fly like a bird. Little rock here. You know what song I like about fly? Oh, okay. That when the white girl be like. Ah. Re-tell. Yeah. Re-tell. Yeah. That's so proud. Yeah, she used to go harder. Go ahead though. My bad. She brought up white lady music. Come on. But yes, I'll listen to my wife here. Right? And I was going through some stuff in my life.  That music was good. And then I'm driving. Took down with 285. I look up.  It went pshh. Then it went pshh.  I knew it was a UFO because it had green lights. The first light was green. Then it came back this way with red. Mm. That was a stoplight. Uh-uh. On 285 though. And then it was in the sky. It was in the sky. I seen it. It was shaped. You know how they say. No. I seen the bubble. The bubble had to be the bubble in the inside. Okay. Let me ask you this.  I seen it. Do you think they saw you? They probably did. I think they did. Do you think the aliens disappeared? I'm like, bro, you think the black lady saw you? Hey, that's what made them take off. Hey, man, the black lady, look at that. Yeah. Because I was like, because I slowed down. I think she sees us more.  Yeah. I don't want to be here.   It should have the bullet hole now.    Can't nobody tell me. I mean, who else has what you see them with?  I know.    Oh, this how you see? This how you see it? God damn, nigga. I could have seen it like this, nigga. I would have better had some vision. What you seen you on that? I was in Ohio. How's your love though? What city? Cincinnati. No, I was in Toledo. No, nothing wrong with Cincinnati, but I was in Toledo. Outside the comic club. Really?  You don't know, you don't see no hot air balloon just flying.  Like, oh, hot air balloon. Okay, that's crazy.  And it's like silver and it's moving fast.   You're like, okay, that plane look like it's going slow, but it's up there.   Like moving the hot air balloon.    I know, I think she real. I was in Vegas. I was in Vegas, right? And I was sitting on the balcony, right? This is right before it was like dust dark. So then I see like a row of like four red lights.  And then them shit's just like disappeared. Like that wasn't it? And then it was four on this side and it was four on this side. But it was like four red. They would make like a triangle, but it was four of them. And then it was like just four lights over here.  And then it's like they split up again. Told you they were like six. And now like what other two go? And then the other two, they like popped up. It was like bloop, bloop.  Gone.   And you was on the balcony. I'm sitting there watching it. Right. Like the sun was way to fuck. Like way this over there. Like I'm looking. That's the sun. So it's going down. It was like these look like six or eight little small versions of the sun.  But then it turned back red.   It just like, like it was never there. Like did nothing move or nothing. They just like that she just showed up. And then wasn't there no more. And then she like. I believe you.  People don't believe me.  I think, I think God should be wanting me to see. I seen something else one time. You ain't got to tell everybody this. Folks going to try.  They want you signed tippin' form. It might be.  And then the ladies were just going around. Those are, those are there.  What is that? What is that? But it was just a light. What she trying to say was. She said it was some type of. It's geese.    Like that's just that. Oh my God.   I'm like drone. Drones. Drones. I know. It's gonna be a drone.  It wasn't me on the plane. I was flying it. Okay.  But people were looking out the window like. What was that? Now one time I was looking up in the sky. It was raining. But it was just trying to stop raining but not quite. Drizzling is the word. Okay. And I seen this the whole sky is white. But it's dark but it's white. I see a blue light in the red.  I look like transformers in that bit. Fighting. What does that look like? I ain't here. But I can see it. I was like going blue. I was going for blue.  You got transformers fighting in the sky? People be seeing alien asses. I don't even smoke weed.  I'm glad you stopped.  Yeah. I already know. I be so happy thinking y'all my real friend. I'm your real friend. That's how happy I be. But you know what? I got to start smoking. But lately I've been getting like little shotguns. Uh-oh.     Like my mind just be so slow. Let me ask you this.  What you think of it?  What's your reaction to it? So you talking about the TV shows or what's going on in real life?  Because you like the show. Oh yeah, I love the show.  Meghan. Um, Meghan. Markle.  I like her. I mean what I think we're going on with you is...  Right, right, right. Because you already know what you're getting into. You didn't marry a white man. You were married the white man. The white man. The mascot for white people. Silence, black girl. Bring that black baby home at once. I would like to see my nephew. I'd like to inspect his nigga John. Let me see his feet. But y'all know what he said though. The baby, his baby don't get no title though. They ain't gonna get his baby no title. I heard that's quite the big fella we got there. He ain't gonna have no title. Why they ain't gonna get no title?  No, ironically we have run out of titles. You want your title back, call title next. What shall we call it? What shall it start to be? They just gonna hit name or... Prince of Cognac. You know that's how it starts. Well man, you should have been involved. In 1999. You know that's how they're talking to like I just knew. So no, it's no way possible we're gonna let another one in like that. You think we're gonna have black grandson in this family? Then it will worry about how dark he gonna be. Bruh. Prince was probably like I hope he's dark enough to get my mom to death. Where his grandma came home with cool bed.  Because I got kicked out the royal family for being too dark. Which royal family? Yeah. The Dabarges? No, the royal family. Which one? They're like gather it's things and drop it off together with Mississippi. It's not whether to be royalty. The British royal family? The Mississippi... What was they called? Newly African one.  But yeah I messed with them though. It's sad but it ain't nothing new. What's sad about it? It's a sad day. You gotta go through all that because of the color of your skin. Like that's the sad part to me. But I know she gotta be... I know she had to be aware of what she was getting herself into. She said she never googled him but I think she capped on that. She capped on that. She lying. Yeah she capped on that. And it's fine if she lying. Because it ain't like... Bitches googled right up above. I googled my nipples. What came up? Shit nothing. Good. In that combo.  I ain't find that. But you did reasonably get married. We're gonna celebrate. Yeah. We ain't know hating that nigga. It ain't like... It ain't like reasonably but you know. Like love is beautiful. Black love, beautiful. Yeah. It ain't recent. It was just in December. Yeah. How you liking it? I mean it's...  Woo boy.  What? Yeah. To get what I'm at now. You prayed it off. Yeah. Now you good. Now I'm good. They done the least by the evil spirits. Yeah. Of your old ways. I had to pray that thing off.  All that. For the little droves. For the little droves. They gonna have you on the show this season? Yeah. Now they thought I want me on now. Real housewife. Real housewife. Real housewife. Real. But I'm loving it though. It's different. And it's not as... La La and Forbid saying it is. Yeah. What advice would you give the ladies after, you know? You know. One of the ones who got to the other side and be like, girl I found a husband and I'm out the game. I mean, just learn how to communicate. I say communicate.  Communicate.   I'll hit you right back. Yeah. Communicating. And I mean, I don't know. So many... D-day everybody got so many preferences. They want this kind of nigga. That kind of nigga. And I think I got married cause I came God real.  You know what I'm saying? I ain't got to have a... You just wanted a real nigga. Yeah. I just said give me a real nigga. That's your preference. That was my preference. Yeah. Just give me a man that know his position and all that. He like bam. Cause we gonna make some money. Right. That's the easy part. That's the easy part. I ain't... You can ask for a man for six figures and then the nigga get hurt. Then what you gonna do? Yeah. You better find a nigga who got the potential to make six. Yeah. Bring in eight. Yeah. Nine figures. Right. Yeah. Right. Anything like that. Make it feel real cool too. It's cool. Cause a lot of ladies out there is looking for a new nigga.  But there's no such thing as a new nigga. It's just another one. Just another one. It's just another one. Ain't no new. Ain't no new pussy. Ain't no new. It ain't.   It'll be just new to you. Yeah. It'll be new to you. Like this is new. This is new to me. Ain't no new pussy.  Bet you can call for some true pussy. What's that? Pussy that's gonna be there. He's deep in his bag. He's deep in his bag. Oh.   What to make it sound like I got a pussy? I mean...  My bad. Not like that. Like...   You made it sound like I got a pussy? No. No, you don't. No. My bad. No. It's right, man. My pussy's well. Oh. My pussy's doing better than that. I take good care of my pussy. That nigga's just petting it in his mouth. He got a pussy. My pussy's doing well. You all right?  It's with sneezing. It's okay now. My pussy's not even the tree side. She usually does, but it's doing well.  That nigga's so crazy, man. I miss out. I appreciate y'all two for having me on here, man. You know, you can just hardly get in touch with him.  Look, look. Here I come on to spend the rest of my days. Look. Look. Look. Look. I just want to be with you, Erie.  You for real. Y'all coming here. Them man says he said marry y'all mama. I come back here.    That what you want to do, man.   He like I'm with you. Hell. Because we weren't even dating. Like our first date, he like I'm gonna marry you. I said cool. The first date. First date. We had a conversation. You don't understand.  He was looking for her. I think I am. As soon as he dropped y'all. Bruh. I found one.   I'm getting older. This is gonna be my last room to you. Yeah. Yeah. I think he did the opposite of what he been used to.  He like the big one.  Don't talk about you like that. He was like smart women.  Oh yeah.    I said ain't bro tomato tomorrow.  No I'm saying don't correct me.   You can't correct him. I wonder what made him change bro. I mean it was cool.   I wonder what made him change.  And then the neurological system just completely shuts down.   Yeah. I got to hear about wavelength and neurons. Shit. Vortex this. Deep space. Did she go with the algebra?  But I liked it though. That was it man. But yeah. You didn't like it. Yes. In a day to game up. Yeah the same day. Then what three four months later we were married. That's a lot of work to do it a little bit. It is. We went to Vegas though. Went to the chapel. Some white man married us. Y'all was in there drinking. Yeah.  It was black. It was black. Hey. I didn't get married. Yeah.  You know who I played. I thought they married us. Not Mariah Carey. Uh oh. Why she do? Do it.  Make them want to marry me. Make them want to marry me.  That's a wedding song man. It was my wedding song. She soon that nigga said I do it and that she was official. I said put them on to make them want to marry me.  What y'all do for y'all 100 million.  How did y'all celebrate? But you know it was so cold in Vegas.    Like I want to be on the window. I want to be in there with a tiger. You know what I'm saying?  You know what I'm saying? Yeah I did. I come up.  I ain't like. I want to do some more drugs nigga. Like I don't even do drugs.     I got one nigga up down.   Y'all just gonna be still like. You shouldn't care. I was really talking to you. You shouldn't care.   I want to do some exotic. That's what exotic mean now? Tigers just. I actually want to do some. Hey well you know I'm exotic.   What's up? Y'all said y'all gonna pull up. Yeah.  I'm not asking you anything else. Yes man.  It was so cold in back then.  You didn't even do the Vegas drugs nigga.  I wanted to find out. And I wanted to do some drugs. I don't think they had what's done. I'm not going to explain this to you. The only thing they had was them little dispissary stores. Things. They had some weed. All right nigga. They don't got no beans up here. No. Like something. No and if you get them they're not going to be. They're going to be from some weird dude on the strip. That you don't want it from. I'm putting my weed out there. You can't do a drug. Nah. I did want to do some drugs cause I don't do drugs. So you know I got my husband. You know I did that. You want to. Don't get a husband that started doing drugs. Got married and I got hooked. No crack. I got married. I said I'm so happy. You know what. I do.  I just want to do something different with my husband. Drugs is definitely different. Cause I ain't never really did no drugs. Look how Marvin Gaye looking at you. I'm going to tell him I'm doing drugs.  Look how he looking. But I'm dead for real though. I believe you.  I don't know. He was down with it too. Your spirit real?  So y'all know I just had my first comedy special. Oh okay. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.  I don't want to hear that. That's gotta be the next one. Go back and change the name. That's gonna be the next one cause I will.  Hey there, Duchess.   Drugs and Tigers. Drugs and Tigers. Come on, let's do it. I just had it. What's wrong with telling people where to get it? It was called My Spirit Told Me. It was at Uptown. It was sold out. People had to turn people around cause it went almost 16 now. They should have packed. Man, I was... They were sitting 10 at the nipple. Man, let me tell you. I was so overwhelmed with this. I knew part of my 50s and 60s tickets probably went sold.  And then when you know when you have your... You're doing my 50s and 60s. You girl, you're more popular than that. Yeah, but I didn't think you know it was a pandemic. Then it was thirsty. Then it was raining. I was like, these four might not come out like that. Man, but this is what... This is the shocker. Now I've been doing it coming to seven years now, right? This whole VIP side and this side was my hood. Yeah.  Yeah, they was waiting on you. I was like, this nigga ain't never coming out. Now, other show. They was waiting cause that's your moment. They wanted to make sure they was there for that moment that they were like, okay, this the one. Let me go on here. This big. Man, everybody from West.  And they still showed up for me. Cause you graduated that summer. You ain't had to wait. I ain't graduate with them at all.  Yeah, I mean, this is... You got a rapper chain. Yeah.  My son, man man. Shout out to man man about putting the ice on his mom. Mom, I got your necklace. The whole slug, mom. What you get that necklace for? Green, bro. I was like, okay. Shout out to man man. He looking at it. So I'm proud of that, man. This coming game. I really, I'm about to cry now. Cause I'm just like, cause y'all got me up here with y'all. Let me tell you something. You been up here. But nigga, it been a long time, nigga. I don't got man. You thought we was going to change on you? Not what you mean.  Yeah, sure.    And then nigga had to work the next day. Now that's true. That's true. You got to look at things that way.   Can't text nobody back. I'm going to bed here. I got to get up and sit. That's the true with y'all. The shop is going to be about 7 o'clock. This is late night. He a grown man.  You know the time on went up, right? Then he was like, hey, hey. Went forward that way. He didn't call homie. He didn't call homie.  Now I'm at work an hour.  Yeah. By the time I make it back home and get back up here, it'd be an hour. Then we used to act. And he came home about 8 o'clock. He said, God damn it. Time to go to bed again. I said, God boy, you check out. He be worried. He be worried. The grown man is going to go to goddamn sleep. For real. He's probably like the first grown man I ever dealt with. And then cut my, we were dating. He came to my house. Cut my grass. This nigga is for real.  I'm gonna find it. Go back and watch the first Erica the Duchess episode. Just see how much, go back to, Which one was that? In the other trap. In the other trap? On a brick wall.   That nigga did everything I said. That nigga showed up, cut that grass. Come on. Put three nails in that mailbox and straighten it out so it ain't crooked no more.  Then they can fix that screen though so that motherfucker over with no sound. You can use. For real. Yeah, and he fixed that knob on the sink to just spin around. I'm gonna fuckin' need to screw it. Mm-hmm. He that type of a ain't y'all like. Can't do it. Fix the toilet. The toilet don't rock when you're shitting.    I can't be the nigga to break the toilet. His cheek didn't slip though. Fix the toilet at once. But marriage is a beautiful thing. I love it though. That's what's up, man. My kids happy. That's good. He got kids. Yeah, yeah, they happy. Mm-hmm. They like, we got a new mama. She got them serious. Oh no, but they been hearing her fuckin' so they might look at me a little different. Oh my lord.  No, no, no. First of all, the daddy, I be tryin' to be quiet with them kids. It's probably the daddy fucker.  I pay all the bills. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What loud as I want to. Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck. Yeah. Sir, sir, you don't have to be slangin' your boss daddy. You have children all across the hallway. Yeah, yeah. They're tryin' to play. Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck. You're tryin' to play the 10 times. Mama, you okay? Y'all gotta be, y'all gotta be.  I be too, but he be screamin' though. You got him screamin'. Yeah, he screamin'.  You don't fuckin' get on here until everybody screamin'. Yeah. Y'all the women gon' be like, you know, your wife was on the show tellin' me how you be screamin'. You gon' get the work.  We gotta get that, come on.  No, nigga, you be screamin'. Your wife said you got nipple ring. I'm not listenin' to you.  I'm tellin' everything. You talkin' about how you want to fuckin' talk to her.  We ain't never talk to her about that specifically. We ain't never singin'. She said a lion had to have. Now she talkin' about a tiger.   No, he not.    Do you know that it's a tiger?   What is wrong with you? He gon' eat you. I want to train tiger.   Yeah, I do it. She ain't told him the tiger gon' come out. Bro, put that weed drop on her.  She really think they got... Uh-uh. No, tigers. What you know about them two-star like that? You losing credibility. Well, okay. Don't do stuff like that. This lady's crazy.  Just want to do something different. Hey, man, that's way too different. Oh. But what animal? None. None? Oh.  I just can't do no threesome.  Huh?  Me either.    Get out of here.  You still doing this?    Dog yawning and shit, man.  The dog pick up the...  Hey, hey, hey. What are you trying to say, dog? Don't watch me. I'm not a dog owner. I don't have a tan right now. I don't really do dogs. I'm gonna get one when I'm gonna be more at the house. I'm gonna get one. I'm just gonna take it everywhere.  Oh, yeah. You have a little dog. I was gonna ask you about that. Do you think that dogs want some of these jobs that people be giving them? What kind of jobs? Emotional support? Like people want to travel with their dogs so they'll get like the paperwork. Like this is a support dog. Hell no. Service dog. But the dog be like, We're ain't really no service dog. We're still be shitting in the house.  I don't do that. It's an able-bodied motherfucker. I put him on service. What if dogs take their job, respond like they take him real serious and be like, you know what I mean? Emotional support dog. I know when the niggas say it.  That's what they do. I mean his hand. They humans. I'm sorry. But they got some big paws. They kind of like. But don't a dog. Look at humans as big dogs with less affiliates. Right, right, right, right. That's my role. So they should have like dogs as psychiatrists. They do though. And dogs know that. But the only way that they know that it look weird to us but it's totally normal to them.  I had my surgery. We went to dog college. I had my part of them over there. You know lucky? They have their own. I think I really think, I really think they do. I really think like fishes. You can talk to your dog. To dogs, humans are their pets. No, that's if your dog out of control. No, I'm saying like, dogs always look at themselves as like, you don't like the same way you think you own a dog. A dog owns you. They think they own you. Yeah, dogs be like, come on man. I gotta walk my human.  Right. That's if they train you. Like dogs be like, I take him outside every day. He don't never pee. So I be trying to pee to show him what to do. You not gonna pee?  Like what if when we leave dogs at home, right?  What if that was their way of letting you know something happened?   I was trying to show you where the burglars work. Why don't you pee?  I was just showing you where the ghost in your house was. I think dogs just have a bigger purpose. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, I think so too. They mean something. Because these people get real attached to birds.  You... You...  Who get attached to birds? Pirates. Pirates. They love their birds, man.  But I've just seen that on his post too. I got a bird. He said people getting too calm with knowing that parrots can talk. Oh, like... Yeah, parrots. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But how do they talk though? I was going to Google it, but I ran out of time.  They mimic what we say and they got the same some vocal cords and vocal cords on. But they got their own voice. But they was born like that though, right? They don't be programmed to mimic people. We don't know if they're the only ones that can talk. What if all the other animals just refuse to speak to us because of the way we've been behaving as humans? I believe so. No, they just want to speak their language.  You got to talk to... That's why you got to talk to dogs like you talk to dogs. Right. And dogs understand too.  Yeah, they do. I'm going to let you in on some.  They sent you video. They been sending me video. Black...  I told you about the dog that knew how to use a sword, right? Yes.  He had it in his mouth. So the dude working out...  That's the white dog. So the other dude... I think he was Brazilian. What? No, I'm telling you. They might do... The dude working out. Why the dog hold his legs so he can do the sit-up. The dog jumping rope. Stretching. They had another dog.   That money move. Hidden. Hidden. Better watch the whole wide. Hidden. Better watch the whole wide. Hidden. Oh, dog's going crazy.  Other video. The dog holding the burrito. Sitting there watching the TV with the white man. Just eating the burrito. Being a dog.  I just seen some Tony Baker. He had something with the dog standing up. But he was hiding. Hidden.  Like how you... Did you see the one on the... On the... On the Sidway? On the little school? Yeah. And that motherfucker ran into the wall. Yeah. I should have never been up here. Yeah. I should have never been up here. Yeah.  She great bad dog. I think... Because they are members. We all members like so. They got some common... You have. What?  Yeah, nigga.  We all members. It's a fungus in here. Like motherfucker's never mentioned me. All the... All the airborne bacteria is like... Oh. So... Classism? So yeah. So we're going to get real specific as to what we are. I personally... My mother was a germ and my father was a bacteria. Gigantin germ. Dude, get it twisted. Because y'all seen what dolphins do right. I think dolphins are... Neffos. Yeah.  They really do. They get high. You know I've been watching all the fucking... Our planet shows, right? Okay.  Called a fitness porpoise. They had just some... That's fucking... It looked like a regular dolphin. But it's a porpoise. But it has no fins. Like...   But then it don't. And they just got a few of them holes.   But I'll just... I'll just say how many is it in the world? It ain't a lot. Just letting you know.  They just found out that whales and dolphins and shark. They all be fucking.  Oh, I believe you man. Because we had went fishing. Deep sea fishing. And it was a fish that came out the water with your face. Don't say that. It did. It had like a...  Hold on a minute. I'll end. No, it did. I did see a fish with some human teeth though. Man, that fish had a whole human face.  Experiments.  Yeah, somebody.   No, this is what happened.  I think they were there. I think they jacked off in the ocean. I think they do that. Yeah, right. Then that mean that we go in the ocean with whale sperm. How big is that?  That's enough to get everybody pregnant. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.  That's exactly it. That's why it is something. Everybody... Man, come on, man. But it's so many...  Ain't nobody been all the way under the ocean. And I ain't going. It's too big. I ain't going. I don't want to go. I'm not going. I don't want to go that far. That's out of space. That's out of space, too. But I just... I'm glad that... That's what white people come in there.  Because if it was just us, we would never know. I don't trust their descriptions.  I don't know, my nigga.  So we're going to keep it real. I don't trust their descriptions. They're going to say, Oh, it was the whitest fish. The prettiest white fish. The fish stays down there. You know? See, that's what she was talking about earlier.  It might be beautiful to them. It always going to be beautiful in their eyes.  They're going to be like, It's terrifying. It's the deepest. It's terrifying. It crushes you. It's too deep. But what if there is a group of successful black fish at the bottom of the ocean? What school? They just never came to the top because of like ocean racism. Ocean racism. Ocean racism. Let us see those black fish. You know what I just imagined my head while you said it? What? I see a black fish, right? Shiny, right? Yeah, you're real black, but he got African designs on him. Who put?  What a fish to get a belt from? He like a warrior. A warrior fish? Yes. And he black? He black. I just seen that. Right.  Don't, don't, don't. But I bet there's a whole population of black fish that we haven't seen yet. Let me turn this into something.  But you know what I've been watching a lot of?  Oh, the racist.  Yeah, y'all know where else we're racist? I'm not trying to change the subject. Race. What's that show? Golden Girls. Golden Girls was racist?  The Golden Girls? The Golden Girls. Better white than all of them. Thank you for being my friend. My friend. Yeah, travel down the road and back again. Them hoes racist. Blanche. Blanche is what? Blanche. Oh yeah, Blanche racist. Blanche is racist. Blanche had, she was, but why? I'm from the south. I got a confederate flag. Yeah. So we used to have slaves with people? Yeah. I used to watch it. I used to watch it every morning.   I like, bitch, your whip. Because she thought they thought somebody broke in their house in the world, a little black man.  A big black man. Bitch said, I might as well get my whip. I said, this show is racist. And what was the lesson at the end of it? Shit. Nothing. Nothing. You lived with a 90-year-old white lady who just walked in and out of the street. And next time you blame a nigga, make sure you're broke on her. She called people with niggas coming out. She did? That was the nigga in the head. It was me. They left your door unlocked, and now you need an aspirin. You need to tell me we went through all of that for this. You blame a black man. Nobody cares. Yeah. Nabisco. For real?  I hope you learned your lesson. Credit's wrong. Credit's wrong.  I ain't know if they're racist. They go back.  And now they try to act like they don't exist. I don't like how they try to erase. They trying to erase the racist. Because we waking up now.    I'm on reparations for them racist-ass cartoons. We had to sit up and watch, man.  Remember Boscow or whatever? That was a little blackface. Man, come on, man. It's a lot of racism.   Man, we should have been broken. I ain't the type of nigga that's going to go racism hunting, though. Nah, I don't need them. I don't need them. What they being racist at? Play that song. That's racist. I can't believe they said that racism on that song that I never was supposed to listen to because they ain't making it about me.  I don't want no drama. No kind of drama, no well. But it's out here, though. When it comes to me, it just comes out. Man, you look hard enough.   Even your black suit. Dr. Seuss, he out of here. Why they going after people that's long gone, dead, or either motherfuckers that don't exist? I know why they going after them. That nigga ain't even real. Dr. Seuss, though. Nah, I get it. Nah, I know why they didn't like Green Eggs and Ham. You saw that? Because they were cooked by a nigga. I would not eat them here or there. I would not eat them anywhere. Because that nigga, I don't like his hair.  I do not like Green Eggs and Ham because that's what niggas eat. I would not eat them with a boxer. I would eat them with a fox who had green and red teeth. I do not want you a nigga food. I do not mean to be rude.   Gordon, here's a nigga.   The cat in the head is trying to steal your house, man. No.  That's how he got it started. For real? The cat in the head is dressed up like some menstrual show kid. That's what they said. What? Why did she come from the back? Because he treated in his black face. I've been wanting to watch for we so mad, though, man. You mad? No, I ain't mad about nothing.  No, that's just the way the world goes. In the world, I just want the white guy to be like that, though. Now he ain't going to change.  This change, we changing it, though. You just trying to see the change, right? A little bit, but you can't. My thing is...  As far as certain laws, we can do that. But as far as an individual who don't like the color of your skin, nothing we gonna ever be able to do about it.  Who? They gonna get up out of here.  But they all gonna die? Yeah, eventually. Eventually. And then, you know, we gonna keep going and we ain't gonna stop.  That's the hardest part. Staying black. And you're in that... Unite. I choose to stay black. But you're not even black. You was Alex. Alex who? Alex. Rolex. Pollux. Alex Pollux. Leave me alone, Erica.  Tiger?  Welcome back to the A's Vibes. How's it going? Welcome back. Bro, we getting deeper than well-meaked. I know. What you say? Kirk Franklin. Kirk Franklin. Wait a minute. I'm gonna look right at the camera and tell the world. Come on, man.  What do you mean?   Everybody who... Everybody cussed. Everybody who know they real daddy. They got cussed out for being... for thinking you grown. It don't matter how old you are. You could be 33, 37. Boy, my kid.     You don't tell all your motherfucking daddy, man. Hold on. I don't need...  I thought about it. You just gotta take that cussing out. You just gotta take that L and... When I heard Kirk Franklin say that, I was just so proud.  I'mma tell you what. Why I was so proud. Because Kirk Franklin was exactly the nigga you thought he was. He's the nigga at the end of the day. He a man. He a big man.  I wanna hear the first part.  Excuse me, I'm not at church right now.     You wanna try Kirk Franklin? Out of everybody to try, though. Kirk Franklin. Nah. Why? Well, he lame in hell, though, but I would never did that. Then you can tell he edit the part out of him, 140 of the whole conversation. He just wanted me. Yeah.  My daddy cuss me out. Like a little, like a little baby. And you 33 years old, boy. I know.   He don't want to put it out. Yeah. You should have damaged yourself. I'll cuss minds out so bad. I've been wanting to hear Kirk Franklin cuss somebody out. You know we're gonna slip out. I just hate it had to be his son. You know we're gonna be like, I think, I don't know. I wanted to hear Kirk Franklin cuss. But I don't care. I hope he get a movie role now. He got a cuss. He got a cuss. A lot. Simile Jackson. Motherfucker. Don't. He got to. Simile Jackson.  Nice things in the community. He was a voice of reason in a lot of things. He didn't know for nothing. He just had a little criminal problem. The face of, you know, the spiritual. I'm not mad at him. He human. Yeah. Yeah. We human.  I mean, ain't nobody perfect, man. Christian. Baptist. Whatever. I don't. You know, he doesn't disqualify anything he has done. It don't. It don't. It don't. It increases demand. Who not gonna do preach it on cuss? At some point. That's the thing about it. They say if you think it. No, he's not a pastor. He is a gospel music artist. He is. He is a gospel instructor. Like the guy is. Exactly. That's how he do this. What he do? What he do? He do what he want to do. That's what he do. That's what he do. That's how he do. He's not no pastor.  That's what he want. Seeing how his hands go. Yeah, that's what. There you go. He is a religious cement. It ain't nobody perfect, man. We living in the world. You can be perfect and cuss the motherfucker out. That don't mean you ain't perfect. Right. That's what we telling folks. It's other people's imperfections that make you cuss them out. I cuss people out all the time. Me too. I'm not going to not cuss you out. I apologize. I'm an imperfect motherfucker. Yeah. Y'all have my smile. Somebody in my family one time gonna tell me you don't need to be doing that coming. Like you need to come and do gospel on coming. I said for what? Come and do that for what? What they gonna change? God gave me this gift. This my gift. Right. I communicate with my people. These are my people. This is how I talk. This is how I relate to them. What makes me more? What's the difference? If I go, I go on these churches. You know what I'm saying? You know what I tell you? You know how you make your list of rules and life? Yeah.  Hey, that's my thing. And it's simple. Like, I don't have to explain it. Yeah. Don't tell me what to do. Don't be trying to, don't be. There's one thing too I like about my husband too. Like I said, in the nigga, I've been singing for a long time. But I said, in the nigga, I date in the nigga, but I got a joke for you.   Not no joke, nigga. Don't do that. Why you looking at me like that? I just didn't like, I don't like it. So like if they try to get you like, like, oh, you should say this. Yeah, say this don't stay.  Like, nigga, what? That's just a tone off to me. Yeah, that's comedy though. That's how you're gonna be in comedy. You know what it turned me up? What? You know who's funny? Bitch. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do I care? You know. I think that I don't care. It's just like. You don't care? Okay. Okay, they funny. When you make motherfucking steaks all day, you don't wanna eat a steak at the end of the day, man. Right. Niggi, we serving up motherfucking steaks. We come to the house. We want goddamn salmon. Something different. And you trying to serve us. I don't even like talking about other motherfuckers. And you can't do as good as me. Yeah, yeah. I don't, I don't, I don't. It's like in any field of motherfuckers, people, somebody gonna, everybody gonna feel like that. You're not about to be in the studio like, you know who a good rapper. Right. And other niggas that'd be rapping. That said that you ain't good. Right. And other niggas. You ever met him? Hey, hey. He good. He good. He came down here one day. I wasn't here that day. Man, don't call me like that, bro.  What's up? Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? What's up? Hey motherfuckers. Y'all sleep on there. Walk them. Hey, Wendy's. Come here. Tell them.   Like, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't be trying to compare me. Just let me do my thing. You do your thing.  Let me talk to you about it. But I don't know. Somebody had told me they were like, marriage and comedy ain't going to work. Why not? Marriage is comedy. Who said it? A comedian. Then. That's not married. Why? Why you be listening to people who don't? I mean, they just put that put on. Who ever said it?    Everybody. And they did. Don't even listen to people who ain't funny. That's some good comedy advice. You know that's the criteria, right? Oh, I know. If they have never made you laugh, there is no good advice. Okay. That's true.  I know.  You can't keep your job listening to the motherfucker who don't work there. And I don't. That's why I got my own little thing how I go by. I like that. This is my own little thing right here. I got my own little, yes. This is my little thing right here. This is a big thing right here, nigga. That's what she said. Come on, man. Come on. I'll be here all weekend. This is a big thing right here. I'm so proud of y'all though. And y'all be holding it down low.  Nobody else. What that mean? I'm just saying. I was just like, ladies, I do be honest with y'all. You know. Keep the cameras going. Keep it going. Like it don't even start. And that's good. Then y'all still got y'all same team up here, man. And that's a good thing. Like being like having a team. And people just everybody playing their part. Ain't nobody getting mad about what position somebody else is in. Yeah, I beat up one of these niggas a week. You see what I'm saying?   Nobody ain't no more group than she. No, just so they all know that I still am able. I'm am able. Yeah.  Yeah.   Via James Brown story. That's what I took away from it anyways. Shit man. Sometimes I just be like, I look at J.O. Win and I just jump over there.  Mr. Tuke out there loud. I ain't slapped nobody a long time.  That made you grow out. You can't be slapping people now. Once you're special, you special. You understand, you got to get somebody else a designated slap or to slap somebody for real.  Right.  I know somebody to be unfavorable. They are relative. Everyday drama. I'm like, how can you live like this?  Why are they on Facebook telling them about it? What? Tell them folks about it like they can do something about it.  Got their nephew got locked up for selling dope out my highlight. Why you telling these folks? People get caught up in the hype of social media. Attention. A little comment.  Be looking for that.  I don't be.    I don't be stuntin' on that stuff.   It's addicted. Yeah, I'll post some.  He's so fucked.  He sleep, he sleep. Wife like to sleep. Yeah, I know.  We better go to sleep, y'all. Good night, Facebook.    Well, look, you guys always know that you got free marriage counseling right here. We got you covered. Yeah, we get great advice. All you gotta do is do the opposite. Can I ask y'all something right now? About men or just in general? Relationships. Okay. Relationships. All right. Communication. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Men don't like to communicate. I already know.   Fucked up. I ain't mad.  Like we're very short and to the point and direct.  We do. We more emotional. Yeah, it ain't about.  So if I'd have a long drawn-out explanation of who, what, why, how much, how this going to affect me, what I'm trying to do. I'm just trying to get some good communication skills. Man, what I said is what it is. That's all it is. If I say that, if I say that, that's what it is. That it means something else. Men are very direct about what they want. It don't take a whole lot of explanation. When I tell you what it is, don't get offended at what's been told to you. Ain't nobody attacking you.  Right. Because they be, well, don't be telling me to do that. I was about to do that.  That mean you want me to think ahead of you. Right. You see, this is the best way to communicate with a man. Tell them what you want. That we spend, we spend most of the communication.   Be direct and say it.  Or ask for what you want. Or say, this is what I want. Be direct. And take the emotion out of it. And don't think just because of making a call on one time. Emotion. Like when we are very emotional. Take that emotion out of it.  You got all these feelings. And I was like, did he say that to me? See, this is the thing about, this is what it looks like to a man. Oh my God. It's like, God damn. You feel it. What's up? Oh my God. You was going off before that. You was going off before that.  And then you tried to flip it to where Oh my God.   How could you say fuck?  You said that before.     You mad about this nigga leaving shirt in the bathroom.  I already know that. But you was taking it to be like, what are we doing in this relationship? She's acting like her feelings shattered on the ground. What this feeling don't mean?   Just keep it in the moment. Don't see if you wanted to take it.   That one particular argument. Side-ticking. Y'all try, when we say something and y'all want to make it harsh to make it more harsh, y'all apply it to everything even though it's about what we talking about right now. Oh. Am I mad, Zeke? See, we talking about right now. But why y'all don't say that? Because. Why don't y'all say? Because we think what I say, what I say.    Why y'all don't say right now. Because that's what understood. You know how like something, when you get to that part of the algebra, they be like, this part is understood. Oh, that's understood. Problem. That's understood. That's trying to get us prepared to deal with women. When they start giving you the answer, then you gotta solve the problem. That's when life got crazy. That's when life got crazy. You start having to move the integer. So I gotta stay within the moment. And that's another thing.   Okay, this is a birthday. All right.   Our job is to keep y'all alive, keep some food in that motherfucker. As long as everybody else have it, we pretty much straight.  God damn. Right. We ain't getting money. We ain't good. We ain't fucked.   Bitch, you told me when we got married, you wanted a new refrigerator in the house. There's the food. Now this ain't enough. But you don't.  What you want? What you want? Right. And then to their point, you can't go back to that one time. Especially once we didn't talk about it, and we didn't go back. But you said that one time, you like, how we gonna go back to that when we don't talk about it. You're new, what we meant. And then, cause if you love a nigga, don't bring up his old lads. You want them on this. The old lads? Yeah. You want all the marketing. Don't bring up what you have. What you want. Like, you want it. What you want? What you want?  Don't let them all have to give. Stop trying to think for everybody. You trying to think ahead. You trying to think, oh, he did this, or he did that.  So, basically, 89 times this. Shortest path to your happiness.  Most of the time, my nigga is down to fix whatever the problem is. We just gotta know what the problem is. What is it? And then when we find out what the problem is, the problem is so small that now we mad that the motherfucker that it took too long to get to this problem. So now, we crazy.  What is wrong with you? You talking about a canned soda? It's not about the soda. It's about how you said it. You didn't say anything. I don't like you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're walking in the house, too. And you don't say, man, you still watching the TV. Because you ugly.  If you like it, it's cool.    I gotta come up with a new shot.  Don't say you wouldn't do that no more. Hey, man, one time I went and got this ball, man.  Hey, when I got in the truck, it was like this. Eric, if I do it, what you gonna do? A shot like this. Like your mother like this. I said, we don't like it. Hey, man, sometimes. What it look like, though?  It was like door. I was a boy. It was a ball. I'm like, dude.  What you gonna do, Daddy? Who that is?  You look crazy. Y'all know every man, they kind of real bougie like. We bougie? Yeah, they bougie.   Man, simple. I think a lot of motherfuckers overcomplicate us, man. Shit. Yeah, we ain't. I think it's just the emotions of the women they might make things a little complex. See, women get to be about 31 motherfuckers throughout a year.  They get to be different motherfuckers. We don't like all of y'all. We don't like everybody you pretending to be. If a nigga met you with Bray, that's the one he liked. So I'm gonna ask y'all not doing fucks. I'm not about to treat the cute motherfucker with the Bray the same way I'm treating you but I just got to turn him. It's not for us. You not her. I'm third. Right.   So that way to be, he don't like that. Who are you today? Now you going through your Nicki Minaj phase. But who you doing it for? Because we'll tell you what we like.   And it don't work out. And then this is what they doing now.   Bring you back. Bring you back. He been trying to be a little honest this time. So I'm going to get some Bray. I'm going to get the Jumbo. Now I don't get them no more. Jumbo? That's the communication. And then one time I said, come on now, that's the worst. That's it on the table.  You walk up to your girl. I thought you would get your hand there today. I did. Oh no, you better not do me like that. I'm like, uh-uh. Shit. We like how we like it. You got to find somebody that can laugh.  When you come down here, you can tell she don't like the little hat style. Yeah, that's how you were in the rock. Big head?  Then I stayed down until about one o'clock in the morning in the hood, in Canterville. Bro, women so petted.  The lady who did her hat. What she said? You know how they be.  But it's cool. The lady who did it said something. Under the little post. What you said?  I don't view on Facebook. Facebook, it goes down on Facebook. You got to get on Facebook. Facebook is the best man. All your aunties are cussing at your fans.  I'm his auntie. I know him for real.  At your house? Yeah, at my house. I never said that. Come on out.  Yes, yes. I had that at my house.  Somebody might say something about my fans. My brother got a nigga. Don't let me pull up what you had for a nigga. I said, hey brother, it's not that serious.  They're going to talk. They're going to talk. My dad be on my Facebook. Your dad? He don't understand the real concept of how this work. He'll be under the comment like, color this your dad. No. Do we do it like it's the DM? Yes son, it's me. It's me again.  He just always come in. Hey, it's your daddy man. It don't matter what it is. It's just so funny man. Hey man, it's your daddy bro. I can't believe you said that. My son crazy. Alright bro. My dad don't be on that. He don't come to none of my show. You don't need him now. I don't. Maybe he don't know.  He don't want to hear me cuss. That's what he say. You got to go over there and just start cussing.  They get with it once you get started. Your dad don't cuss. He don't even know how to cuss.  My daddy. What does that mean Erika?  That blessed it.  Like he don't know how to cuss. Like I know how to cuss hard. Like my mama know how to cuss. He don't know how to cuss. But I don't even know what I cuss or what. My mama don't really cuss like that. And my daddy don't really cuss at all. It's because you're intelligent.  You just did a whole goddamn 16. No cussing. I did. That's one of them. That's the turning point in the movie. Why don't you ever come to my shows? Because I don't want to hear you cursing, okay?  This cursing? Yeah, trying to act like she.    Stop when you're in my house.   It's a sentence. So you think you're the first person to ever get paid? You're the first person with money. Shit. In this family, you're throwing your life away, sir. Look at me. You're throwing your life away. When I tell you to pick up them $100 bills out the trash. Next time. This is the last time you see me, Jack. I'm gonna cuss my way to start it.  You get out of my house. Bitch, I'm already gone. Mama's laughing. You see, it works. Mama's laughing. Look at mama, she's laughing. It works. You don't want to admit that it works. It's working, Charles. It's working. You got that right.  You're not going to talk to me like this in my house. Charles. Mother friendship. Just say fuck, Nanny.  And you take it with you. Just say fuck, Nanny.   Y'all niggas in there. Y'all chemistry is unmatched. Y'all niggas ain't wrote no movie yet? We just did. We did, but we still drank on it. That's thought all over. That made me so sick. That's thought all the way over. For real, boy, y'all. Y'all niggas are coming genius. We just need, like, we need probably like two weeks some money. And some motherfucker to write down everything. Because I've always been pitching ideas to him. I won. Because I was like one of my favorite shows that I seen coming up.  I feel like we need to do some type of movie just about dudes who love titties or something. Dudes who get their dream job. And they win like a broad fitting competition and get an internship at like Victoria's Secret or something. Or just come up with a new bra. Secure the titties or something. You really love titties. You want to make it like an old like Skinner Max movie. Yeah. Where they hardcore, but the titties are tastefully done. Tastefully done. It's going over and beyond just the titties.  The nipple. If we can get this bra right. For the ladies with the chunky areola. It'll never work, man. It's going to work. But look though, they're going to be showing y'all like let's say if it's mess. Because you know some women don't have them. That's the turning point in the movie. Yeah, a lot of women don't have them. Our friend, our home girl. She got the perfect type of nipples that we need to finish this bra. Yeah. Yeah, you know you got some women they got the nipples and they point out. That's why we need to be like. The ski slope titties. No, I'm just talking about the nipple. The nipple, you know like the little round point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But some of them got extensions to them and they stick out. Yeah, they got two. The nipples got two phases.  No, no. The nipples got extensions. That's the hardest gangsta light.  The nipples got extensions. They do. They got like. They extend those on the nipple. She got to extend those nipples. They do. They do. They do. And they very long. You see, it's a skidding man's movie. Somebody want me to repeat another? Yes. Who has some money for this drug dealer, right? And then he give him the money back. All the money that he left him back and he didn't steal none of it. So he's handsomely rewarded with this money he's been protecting. And it changes his life. Total chaos. I'm thinking Will Smith on this one. Maybe Jamie Foxx. Okay, so is it all? Where's it set? Okay. I see Jamie. Okay, give me a second here because what I'm about to tell you may sound a little crazy. Negroes in the future. It's... It's hard sell. It's not in the future. It's in 1994. What were Negroes doing at that time? 90. Nobody knows. That was Freakney time. Untouched arrow. I've heard of this.  They're not putting us in shit by not letting us make movies by missing out. It's a whole demographic they're missing. Oh, that's what's going on? Trillions. Trillions. And they giving up trillions. No, they not giving. They don't want that money. Imagine leaving a trillion dollars on the table because you don't feel like letting black people direct and do the whole production. I got another one in the picture.   But think ET. Right? ET but with a black family. Now the kicker in this one is ET never returns home. He actually grows up and goes to high school. His name becomes TT. And he actually grows up and becomes the star basketball player on the team. And he's just explained that he just has severe eczema. And never comes out that he's actually the first real. And it works out to his advantage. I'm tall as a... That's the thing. He's a basketball prodigy. Because he stands right at about at full grow. No shoe. That's crazy. The only thing about it is he has seven toes on each foot. Which makes him ineligible to go to college. He'll play basketball. Exactly. The whole point of this move is for him to have a senior year good enough for him to go straight to the NBA. And he's ET so he's perfectly capable of doing it. So it's an allegory of sorts. But the only thing is he's distracted because he's with the prettiest girl in the school.  And she's not really interested in being in a long distance relationship with ET. Because she kind of figured something was up with him. But it's like he wanted to keep her so he tells her that like hey I'm special I'm ET. So now it's not the right time for you to be like insecure. Your skin. Yeah because he ET. He still looks like ET. She really think he's just a project dude. Alright what else? Scratch the hole. Whatever. You want them to call the sci-fi channel?  I got something for every network. What you got for ABC? ABC. Check this out. This is perfect for ABC.  We need a big black southern woman cooking competition. Well not only they prepare food but they just compliment each other throughout the whole thing. Nobody can compliment you like. I got it. Church ladies is the women of Brewster's place meets the British I'm thinking more like the women of Brewster's place can you beat Bobby Flake? Okay competition but you got to throw the nice compliments in there so the British version where they not me. It's got to be like I'm having a good time today. I'm making a talk why they British? That's the competition. That's the example.  You said ABC but I want a fox.  So ABC. This is where they had Thea.  Monique to get a sitcom. Bringing Monique over there. Another one. Monique is going to pick up where Roseanne left off. Okay. Yeah. They took her off the show. They took her off the show. She did the parkings already. She knows what to do. Right. So look let's just change the whole cast. Right. You want to do it? So no. There's a Monique. Be Monique. Who will we have for Dan? Mmm. Oh the daddy. I was just thinking watching the period. I don't know if that's going to work. If that's the route we got to go to do this it's not going to work. Okay. You know why it's not going to work. I can't get into why it's not going to work. Let's just scrap that. We'll spit ball in here. Let's just go back. Maybe not. So let's just pitch the concept. I don't have to get specific with this.  Okay. Cool, jazzy, snazzy intro. For some reason. Okay visualized women. She's cooking breakfast a lot of times. I see a lot of breakfast in this. Okay. But the breakfast is the glue that holds this show together. Everything's chaotic. Until it's time to eat again. This is good. Right. And that's one thing that I think that we are missing. Shoes with black women. I just came up. Y'all know like the what's that when they be fighting. Uh-uh. When the girls be fighting that reality show. I don't like your bad girls clothes. Yeah, right. Old hoes clothes? Not old hoes. What? No, this is what I'm seeing. Like what he was saying with the thick girl. I'm trying to find a network. I didn't want to say like big women. I'm just saying this. Like flushers. Yeah, those women. Okay, we get them. Curvaceous. With the compliment each other. This is what the whole thing is supposed to be about a whole bunch of flushers women. And they supposed to compliment one another. But you're going to have a hey-nass one. That's the breaking point. That's already understood. You and me have to include that in the pitch. Okay. Yeah, shady business. Yeah. It's a show about black mechanics. First episode, first season we fix nothing. It's just a whole run down of them telling people what's wrong with their car. That's the whole show. They pull up. You know what I hate? You lose. I can fix it. You want me to fix it? Okay, I fix it.  Pull in, you got to come out of there. Now I knew when Bobby pulled up, I can smell the oil.  It's first season tell you what's wrong.  Season two, fix the shit that's wrong and then show you what else they found wrong. Then three is paying. Season three. Don't nobody pay to season three. Because that's a hole in the... Hey, man. You know you're copying up here, but it's ready. Man, it's one o'clock in the morning. All right. I got storage fees 30 hours a day. It's starting right now. You got ready. They need more black shows, though. We missing that country. You know what else? Okay. Think National Geographic. Old black people. Fishing. Just give me your life advice. Come on at one o'clock in the morning. Give you life advice. Life. Yeah, you know these young people being such a hero. You know falling in love and things, man. Enjoy your life.  You enjoy her company. There you go. There you go. I knew there was something beautiful over there.  What? Let me tell you something. Your mind is... You have a like a mean out of mind. That's why I'm putting this out now so they can see it. And they'll be ready. My microphone caught up again. Nope.   Hold on, wait a minute. I can do it. I got it, kid. I got it. Just believe in me one time. Believe in me. Believe in me. This tape ain't even sticky enough. We got to get you some sticky tape, my man. How I sound. Sound better. Sound like the titties right now. You know something, the tape stays sticky. What's that I had on papers? Oh, we got some comments. I mean... You know what you had bruises on here? I know, man. I love these bruises. Our birthday the same day, February the 4th. So somebody said, Bruce Bruce is an icon that should be protected by all means, much respect. Yes. This podcast is for everybody who grew up watching Bruce Bruce, but didn't know he had a 40-year-old son. These niggas be young.   Cat got the longest shorts you ever seen. Yeah. He said he's the youngest son, about 35 or something like that. Everybody does. I wish I was. J.O.N. howl with his sleep. You see that? Bro, this podcast... They said this podcast is for J.O.N. He over there looked like he just need a hug. That nigga is high, most of the time. I don't know why people act like you to step son around here. But that nigga be cool and high. He just be chill. Hey, man, y'all think I just be saying random shit, but somebody said, yes, sir, this podcast is for blind people that can only hear the show and still be cracking up. With a lot of enthusiasm. They love it. Who wrote the comment? He did. How did he know what it got? Blind type?  They can go to the ATM. Shout out to this guy. His screen name is John Wilson. He's a military deployment life. Just a little easier to get through. Stay blessed. Shout out to everybody in the military that has been watching this. Thank you. Shout out to my son and military. Your son and military? Army. Oh, okay, okay. This says, I'm from the U.K., London and when I see this black unity makes me so happy. From older young, the young son respect to the old, you always show respect to the young, hey? Listen, bro. We love our British brothers, bro. Okay, baby. Listen.  That's crazy that this is a comment that was selected. That's crazy. Just edit that out.  Beep the end. Do that. Somebody said they love us, bro. That's it. He's gonna say that's it. I love it. Yeah. So Stacey's dad's trying to be black again? Yeah. She said she's sorry. No. Sorry for what? You sorry for what he was doing? You sorry for what he was doing? No. Don't come back over here. What you gonna be in now? No. Not right now? No. No. He's gonna say no. No. Who else they on council? Everybody on council. I know. What about that girl from Wildin' Out? Who? She sent an apology letter that she apologized to. Who? Mimi? The rapper girl. You know the one who went to Wildin' Out and were crying and shit? Exactly, baby. She did what? She said she sent an arm because apparently now she engaged. So she wrote a letter out to everybody that she was sorry to. On who? She just wrote out and put on the internet. All the list of people that she wouldn't apologize to. Everybody said for y'all. Oh, damn. Damn. I know y'all. I know. I understand. She spanned. I would apologize to everybody but everybody ain't worth apologizing to.  I love y'all. Oh, yeah, that's what the thing called. I used to be all in DMs, all the way by I started showing in Atlanta. I like shawty, let me get like five minutes for the ladies, you know what I'm saying? Represent. What you trying to say?  Then I did, not on the deck.  We in the city, then my city. You know what I'm saying? Did my city, too. Let me get five minutes representing for the ladies. But what what do you mean represent for the lady just have a lady comedian cuz you got all the openers man But what you mean? What I mean represent for the ladies. Yes, you wouldn't with me shooting in the gym. Yeah, I was a little bit Not when I was in the gym now when you're a gym pop.  I came up there.  I got one more than you Raising like that.  Oh, yeah