I ain't doing a Q&A cuz I ain't got the energy for the Q&A As you know Q&A you get all kind of question and sometimes the notification don't go I I notice I get it and it's my channel. I get a notification when I go back to my email I see it on there. Well want to come on here and talk Cuz I've had to drive my son home and So y'all forgive me if you hear him and my wife talking cuz they talking behind me and sometimes they voice travel through They talk like they high school best friend. They just be Chitty chat. That's how my son is. He he taught me like that too, but he I mean he taught like We his best friend. I mean non stop. He's up in he been like this whole life, too And he 15 years old still like that. He taught non stop that boy. I love to tell you about everything that happened But I want to pop on here. Give a little time. Let me let this he'll get set up Few of them notifications will go on out. Some people see it in the email and then we'll West coast might have some of our west coast people on here Folks over in Europe and Africa. I think they sleep already but We'll see and There's not a Q&A y'all notice the title didn't say Q&A. There's not a Q&A We just talking because reason why we talking It's because I ain't get to shoot a video today. So I don't get to shoot a video. Sometimes I just go live if I'm able to and Trying to do better than I did last month because last month I wasn't you know doing too much And right now I'm evening Some meat somebody asked about the real I'm on the keto for a week or so Can't do that stuff too long sometimes because it mess your body up pin on your body tight But want to pop on here if you missed the earlier one It says Wednesday night chat. You'll see it posted from this date But I want to pop on here cuz some of y'all sent me these Messages DMs on Instagram Some divorces that's happening now the one my wife say was old. I think it was Miguel and his wife. I don't know if it just happened or if that's old. I Don't know and now Tia Mallory I think it is in her husband Now it's something about this and I want you to understand like certain people and Especially certain certain people we have a ability to look at people and we just kind of could read on and I don't know Where it comes from. I don't know if it's a spiritual gift like a discernment or for me if it's just from being quiet my whole life and just studying people observing people reading people so a lot of times I could look at people and just kind of tell what they're struggling with what they're going through and I've kind of put it into I Put it into different categories based on how the world treats us and The world treats us a lot of times based on how we look and then beyond how we look Is where we come from what we've gone through and so When you understand that then it helps you as I read once a man said that a person's a man's history and his biography equals the makeup of who he is and So you have to understand that a lot goes into this and that is why marriages fail because of the history and the biography of a person a Lot of times when we get with somebody Lot of time we get with you talking to husband. I say you were talking in your high school bestie Y'all talking The divorce Yeah If you come home and don't speak to your wife and then come from alive first before saying hello, that's how you get it worse Well, I was upset I'll tell if I came right here Because you the chit-chatty ignore me Have to come for me Okay Power in the words Yeah, only stuff could be in the future You got on to me when I said it looked like he broke his arm, but that was in the past Yes I spoke to you telepathically But he y'all talking so vigorously but see where what it was I told him I built a 1030 in with 1029 Cuz you know some some y'all got to go to bed early So I figured somebody come on here 1030 ain't on here. They gonna be like See he's a lot again. And that's what get on there and then radio over there So I was like he got a tension there be talking about how So I just came over to talk about how much he be talking to us Because he taught me that So When you be telling me what to do oh you need you need to hurry up and take a shower. He needs to shower I heard No Wait up on me You can't go sleep to he go to sleep Now see my wife we've been married 15 years So I love the fact that she coming into her own She used to come to the door and just stand there and just sign language She's still standing here by the way, but now She's something I miss the tone of these to listen But but now she come and she is going ahead and open the door and talk to me I used to always tell me baby, this yours on your husband. You need to interrupt me. You can interrupt me Interrupt me for anything. I say that one breath and then sometimes don't answer the call because I've been a middle of a good video but This ain't really work, you know according to them, but this be my work Somebody say not telepathically lay back Y'all a thing I'm gonna go on get to him. I need to wash it though. Remember you had the hat washer. I Need to wash it Okay, this seven and a half They need to do something about them shorts. You make me feel way Push some sweats on Hey, y'all forgive so when I came in Hey, y'all forgive. She's a dump. I love you when I came home. I ain't go speak with my wife I came right here to the pain but the reason why I speak because her my son was talking and some Sound I get jealous when they just be talking talk about and I'd be like You don't talk to me like that But she love her kid boy and so I just came here. I said she told me to go and get to work, but listen though, so Me and my wife, okay We've been married 15 years So we understand the spiritual warfare that come with marriage and it's a lot of days that We didn't thought about divorce. It's a lot of days. She didn't thought about divorce It's a lot of days.  I've been coaching professionally since maybe 2007 for sure 2009 2010 and So it's a lot of times when I'm young and developing and I was coming up and I would be coaching somebody and The woman will sound perfect.  What if you married somebody like that and I'm pretty sure when we go out and I can't speak for her But I just understand humans and this how humans is it come to times where you face tough times And you go through some stuff and you question and wonder did I make the right decision and you have to decide Every single day, but see what you see happening in this celebrity world when with these divorces not understand That these divorces and stuff That's happening in the celebrity world. They have they happening every day They happen in every day in everyday life But what happens is? It doesn't get televised when your neighbor get a divorce. So we just see the celebrities But the same thing happening with with our parents with our friends That's a lot of people don't hear them been through a divorce and the reason being is what you and I used to say Hollywood relationships is for your entertainment and The reason why I say that is because it's so much perversion In Hollywood is so much temptation It's so much and so anytime I see somebody get married and anytime I look at a marriage I don't ever look at anybody online as Relationship goals because I'm in a relationship And I know the work that it takes and somebody posted the other day. They posted a little dirt in India money bag yo and I think I named Ari and Little baby and Jada Maybe maybe that maybe they was on there and it said which one was your relationship goals and When I see stuff like that when I whenever I see a couple and I see these couples today because as y'all know today as y'all know today It's money to be made in Relationships Meaning when you show your relationship not not teaching on relationships But when you show it's people making money too when they teach it on relationship and but it ain't money It might be money compared to they you know when they used to flip Burgers, but it ain't money you feeling the way you're gonna be comfortable and set so understand that But when we see these relationships We say relationship goals But what we fail to realize is that there is So much that goes in and y'all let me know can you hear me?  Okay, you can see him and so all right. Thank you All right, everybody ain't got to put yes on All right. All right. We got all right. All I got put Some people see this late because they started late so there's lags so we've been to see yes for the next 10 minutes So y'all forgive me for that asking that question So when you see this when I look at a relationship today, I'm gonna tell you what I do because I'm in a relationship This is what I do. I say to myself. I say that man got to get over pornography That man got to get over his ex-girlfriends coming back around That man got to get over manipulation. He got to get over deceit He got to get over control. He got to get over jealousy He got to get over You know all the temptation he got to get over his work wife He got to get over his social media wife. He got to get past his clients his coworkers I'll go through the list of everything that this man gonna have to overcome in Marriage and I look at his makeup. I look at where he comes from. I Look at his lifestyle. I look at his habits. I look at how he moves and one thing that I have learned Is that if a man lacks morals?  Oh When a man Have any kind of addiction when a man got addiction when a man have a vice that has control over him It lets me know That it's gonna be very very hard to make a relationship work now one out of a thousand can do it You're gonna have some You know some exceptions to the rule But very very Rarely can a man have an addiction or a vice and make a relationship work And I want you to look around unless the woman got the same type of stuff going on in her life And they co-dependent but look around at every man You know every man you've ever been with every man you've ever met who has some type of addiction or vice Eventually his relationship fails Because love is a moral act Love takes courage love takes discipline love takes sacrifice So it is next to impossible For a man to love a woman purely if he has not gained self-control of himself and that is why we see so many divorces now Yes, women are the cause of divorce as well But from me being a relationship coach for the last 15 years What I have found is most of the time it is the man and the reason why it is the man Most of the time is because most men do not know how to be faithful Most men cannot curve that appetite to cheat Most men cannot conquer lust and that's why when I work with these sports teams these college team These young men I talked to them about Curving their lust I talked to them about abstaining from pornography abstaining from masturbation abstaining from sex to gain control When they in college Because if you cannot gain control when you young you may never gain control And so what happens with a lot of men is they cannot build their relationship and I'm gonna tell you when a man takes and makes it all about his woman When he cuts off his social media wives his work wives His best friend female best friends that he actually is in love with but calling them friends When he cuts off every other woman And he does what the bible say to ravish in the bosom of his wife Now it's it's two sides of this and this is what women don't understand It's two sides of this and it's hard now. It's hard and this is where I feel that in my marriage I was like every other man that I ever knew and I was a womanizer I was out there and I played sports so women love Athletes on average a lot of women love athletes if not to love or date to at least sleep with a lot of women deal with athletes and then if you are athlete and you got a little talk game and or You know, you come from a good family. It's a lot of factors that go into it. And so For me, I was dealing with a lot of different women And when I got married it was I had to turn that switch I had to flip the switch and it was hard for the first two years of my marriage. I struggled It was hard. It was just I was I was 23 years old So I still was you know wandering eyes It was hard to turn it off and that's what a lot of people don't understand a lot of women don't understand that about men and women have this fairytale Most women have a fairytale that being faithful for a man is going to be as easy as it is for a woman And it is easier for a woman Because of how women are raised How it's like your daughter you don't let your daughter walk out the house with her broth But your son could walk out the house with his shirt off But that woman could lust that older woman across the street could be lusting at your son's chest And so my son he come home the other day I teach him about his body the same way I would teach if I had a daughter so he came home and His shorts was on and he had this right here standing up in his shorts And so here go his shorts and here go his here go and meet leg like this right here Lump to the side now y'all forgive me. I'm transparent now. I teach real I say son. What is that? He says my private. I said no, they ain't what we do son.     I tell her she needs a longer shirt or she needs to get some pants That don't split up that vulva like that and have them vulva flip across that that little crease in the pants I say so the same way I would do a daughter the same way I'm gonna do you You need to have some decency and respect and you need to tuck that You hear me because this ain't about that We ain't walking around with no Jezebel spirits And I have to tell them all the time because see he had body issues Growing up having a little extra meat on his bones. So now he got abs So right after the game, he want to take his shirt off every other player got their shirt on He want to roll his shorts up so you can see his thigh muscles and see that's I have to talk to him About that and I'm using my life and my family as an example and sometimes they don't like that But I have to let them know I'm a minister. I'm a teacher. I got to be transparent I can't just go ahead and talk down to people and talk at people like I ain't living and dealing with what I be talking about So we have this stuff out here and this these spirits is real and a lot of times women don't understand How a man is, you know Built and how a man is wired and that got to be renewed in a man to be turned off when he get in relationship So what I find from being a relationship called for 15 years is majority of the time Divorces happen because the man cannot be faithful That's the majority of the time people say fine. That's just ain't nobody getting divorced over money That's just that is a byproduct of infidelity That becomes the molehill that is turned into a mountain I have never once in my 15 years of relationship coaching Coached a couple that was going through a divorce that said we are getting a divorce over finances But yet that's what they put on google That's what they put in these reports and that's what all the financial coaches say Your number one cause of divorce is finance. No, it is not don't nobody care about no money Money do not have more power than love But what does ruin these relationships is infidelity and then for the public for the paper They might say it was irreconcilable differences. But a lot of time that irreconcilable differences is infidelity And then the fallout from that infidelity And then only other times it's abuse. It's a form. It's some type of abuse physical emotional verbal Financial spousal is some type of abuse and that'll be in there. But that financial Will be the least It'll be physical verbal emotional and these are the Number one the main reasons for divorce. And so a lot of times what you see is In a relationship somebody can't get right They got too much pain too much trauma.  They don't have a proper upbringing They don't live right or do the right things and they cannot get right And that Turns into irreconcilable differences. So guess what? I got problems My wife got problems but what we do Is when we express the things that we don't like When we express the things that we would like to see change Both of us make a honest effort. It's not to say that we're gonna be Perfect for the rest of our lives. It's not to say that we're not gonna mess up It's not to say none of that But we both make a honest effort to grow and to change and me I fight Battles all day every day in my mind And here's the thing what I was talking about what happened with me when a man was into nasty stuff part iron out of Asia and fornication When a man was into those things and he becomes focused on one woman The downside of that is we can become obsessive and controlling Have and that has to be changed and a lot of people don't understand that A lot of therapists and people don't understand the other side of infidelity when a man becomes 100 focused on a woman And a woman might be like man, he's so clingy Man, he's so controlling man.  When they dedicate everything to that sport, we call them obsessed Motivational speakers speak on you got to be obsessed And so that's what koby bryant god rested soul. That's what he was known as Upsest because he devoted everything to the game Hey, it's not a q&a for those y'all asking questions. It's not a q&a.  Have you given your whole self to a woman until now? And now that you've given your whole self to a woman you worried about her every move You worried about what she doing where she going what but she is used to being faithful I wasn't used to being faithful. She used to being healthy in a relationship. I wasn't used to that So when I shifted it made me obsessive it made me like Controlling and then I it had to be checked. I had to realize. Oh, whoa, you know I'm putting too much. I need to chill That's why even the night I came in here and came straight to work Because I said I have to have a sense of normalcy because some men work 12 hour days Today during the day where where 99% of men working. I was in the bed with my wife and we was watching Dateline On peacock streaming out. We was watching dateline We watched like two episodes of dateline in the middle of the day when most men working I'm in the bed drinking a iced caramel macchiata And eating a ahi tuna bowl with my wife that she brought me home And most men working in the middle of the day. So my first time working was was at like 1 p.m I think or 2 p.m When I started working. So when I came home, I said man, let me go right in here and go to work Like most men who work I do that for a sense of normalcy because my wife has me all the time You see she came in oh you come in came speak and it's like listen A lot of other men in the script club right now some men watching porn right now At at 11 o'clock some men with they other woman right now some men on the video game right now I'm I'm working for the lord of my purpose. So she was joking. She don't really care She it's not a real thing for those y'all who take everything serious. She was joking Going to bed. All right, like she was joking But I did that intentionally. I said, well, let me go in here. She talked to my son And I did that to almost to just break myself out of being so immersed Because sometimes when you so immersed you could you get borderline To where you could almost be obsessed or controlling And so what what a lot of women don't understand is a man's personality Is obsessive Have you ever think about your dad or your brother or a friend what he got into If he fixed cars if he restored cars If he's into video games if he's into gambling if he's into sports Whatever a man is into It's like he's obsessed with it And it's like man You got to be on a video game four hours Man, you got to be working on your car for eight hours You got to be in the casino For 10 hours, you got to be watching football all day on sunday When men get into stuff men get obsessed And so what happens is most men never give a woman all of them Because they don't know how to control the obsession And this needs to be taught by mothers and fathers even if you're a single mother Men have to learn how to have self control So I have to i'm teaching myself even now how to trust How to trust and how to be vulnerable And to not feel like I have to control every situation of like because naturally as a man We're going to be like well, where are you? Well, who are you with what you doing?  Where are you at like when you come home and some women can identify with that some women are like that too But for me and sometimes it could be overboard And a man got to be real then and he got to be checked and he got to learn self control So the reason why we go through so many divorces is because most men have no self control Most men we don't know how to reel it in So most men cannot control their vices or their habits. They can't control the pornography addiction They can't control the masturbation. They can't control the adultery or the fornication They can't control the cheating or the gambling or they can't control their controlling ways And then the woman get to a place. She's like, listen, I can't do this no more You can't do this no more And it's different levels to it. Do I've heard women say well, yeah, I was with I was I had a guy I was with him And he just got to the point to where he just was so You know dictating and controlling and it's like, you know, we was out at this event and I wanted and I was enjoying myself And he said hey, I'm tired.  I'm gonna stay. I'm having a good time And then women started to realize that okay, this man will interrupt my good time interrupt my peace interrupt my happiness for his misery And A lot of men don't know how to turn that off A lot of men don't know how to we struggle with letting the woman have freedom Letting the woman have her life and do her thing and trust her and then Still be faithful So it's so many men that will tell you if men was open and honest with women men will tell you that they cheated for safety They cheated just in case She was cheating And the reason being is because men fear vulnerability And the reason why men fear being vulnerable is because men are built like hunters Men are built like warriors. And so when you are a hunter or a warrior You will lose your life if you are vulnerable And if you look up the definition of vulnerable to be vulnerable means to be open for attack So most men never become trusting and vulnerable in a relationship Because a man's greatest fear is being violated A man's greatest fear is being hurt A man's greatest fear is giving his all And not getting all in return Giving everything and being hurt, but women do it every day Women do it every single day women give their Everything And get cheated on every day That helps you understand that men and women are not wired the same So and a lot of times we don't go back to even if you think it's a metaphor You can learn a lesson from a metaphor. Some people think adam and eve is metaphorical But when you look at it adam was created for dominion over the earth And eve was created to be a help meet to the man So the woman is naturally wired and built for love But society has forced a woman to be able to get it how she lives To get her own and that's why you hear so many women say i'm tired of grinding i'm tired of hustling But you rarely to never hear a man say i'm tired of the grind i'm tired of the hustle That's why athletes end up ruining their legacy because they never want to retire Shaquille O'Neal played for almost every team in the NBA because he did not want to retire But in his prime he was the most dominant center to ever play the game When you look at these boxers a lot of these boxers go brain dead And speeches slur and they lose their mind because they never want to retire And it's very hard for a man to ride off into the sunset We very rarely see men ride off into the sunset in any industry It's hard to get a man to sit down But how many women Gladly cheerfully and happily Leave their job to be full-time in the home There are millions of women In america who are full-time in the home and they have no desire to go to work Because they are wired a woman is wired for love And when a woman is wired for love But love is not happening Then she channels Her ability to grind A woman is capable of grinding a woman is capable of hustling A woman is capable of being a millionaire or a billionaire a woman is capable of that But even when you look at joseph bunching and tom brady Look at what they're going through right now and why this marriage is so difficult joseph was at her height y'all say I didn't know anything about supermodel So I didn't really know who she was and I you know I'm I'm looking at paying attention to other stuff. So I knew tyra banks Which probably I don't know if she was like a real supermodel But I knew tyra banks and I knew Naomi camber But I didn't know joseph bunching but let y'all tell it she was number one in the world Which I don't know how but I'm me and I didn't know who she was But it's just because I went into that kind of stuff, you know All that right there. So I'm focused on a real life See some men know about automotives because they in the masturbation they in the pornography I was in the making them myself So I don't pay attention to no supermodel that I can't touch that I can't reach And so I ain't nobody but y'all say she was number one and I knew the name after I heard it later And but what does she do? She gave up her career for family She gave up her career for family Somebody said she was making so more more than tyra and Naomi and she could have been making more than both of them come combine because of skin color Uh-huh. We're gonna talk about that part now But she could have been making more than both of them combined. I don't know. I would assume so And so but she gave that up. So what does that say about a woman? and then I hear tom is old is matthew's will And thank god here on my team now, but tom old is matthew's will and will not sit down That right there is a microcosm That's a microcosm of men and women That shows you right there the difference between a man and a woman.  You hear me?  He said i can't relate How you can't relate and you the same race as jeffre daugh How you can't relate you the same race as ted blendy Harvey Weinstein Jeffrey Epstein talking about you can't relate to a man being a beast man You don't shut that mess up and get out of here R kelly Bill Cosby these people with money these people with fame And look what they get into so it's like how these people got all the sense and all the greatness And still become what they become That shows you the demons that men battle and today men don't want to confront it Men don't want to confront it and women don't want to admit that men deal with different demons than women The same spirits that occupy a man is not the same spirit that occupy a woman A man's struggle look totally different than a woman's struggle But so many women want to get on a soapbox. It's not that hard It's not that hard To be faithful. It's not that hard if if you can't be faithful, then don't get married I hear so many women saying that but not understanding that the reason why the man get married Is because he's trying to do the right thing Because he want to be a productive citizen. Why do you think a drug addict go to rehab because they want to come off the cocaine But it's not that easy They want to change their life. Why do you think people leave the hood?  I'm making 200 and 50 dollars a week And i'm working eight 10 hours a day at this factory because I used to make 250 in an hour In a second when I was out there he said could I got to spread my wings?  He got out there two weeks later. I got a call He dead in the streets He tried to change he worked a regular job So that's what happened in a relationship A lot of men honestly with men it got to be pounded into a man From his father from his mother from his brother It's hard to reach men My son is amazing He's 15 years old and he's still Dance on my last nerve I still feel like i'm uphill battle with him I could hear this uh, I could hear The music from his air pod. I'm way up in the front driving my sprinter y'all know a sprinter is my sprinter 24 feet long He's sitting in the middle of it. I'm way up in the front. I could hear the beat I say something what you listening to he said a future song I say you're supposed to be listening to rap music. He said before practice I thought you said I could listen to it before rap music. I said I said I didn't tell you to listen that before practice I say you don't need to be listening rap music period I say you need all the grace in the world You need you could listen to christian rap But you don't need to be listening to nothing secular right now till you get straight a's Because he got a couple a minuses and might have a b plus I'll say until you get them grades up. You need to be praying fast and you need all the favor of the lord Cut that music off and don't let me hear you listening to it again But my son is a great kid straight a but i'm still hard on And then I told him when we come home I say son one day this gonna make sense to you he say Cap Now that is a slappable offense To cap he's on my cap But to him he just joking. He think we friends Not father and son and I have to keep reminding him son. I'm not your friend I'm your father Do not respond to me. I bet respond to me. Yes, sir And it's tiring parenting But this what it takes and my son is a great kid You let anybody else tell you about my son They will sing his praises to no end and as good as he is I know I still got to be on him because guess what people said the same thing about me That I'm an amazing kid. I never got a detention I never got rolled up. I never got suspended.   I'm render Null and void. I'm render ineffective In the kingdom in the work So that is why men are so under spiritual attack. And that's why I've been telling women Recognize a good man Recognize when you have a man That is working that is sacrificing that is coming home every night That is not putting hands on you That is not cursing you out That is not cheating on you and got other women texting you and calling you and that is Working and providing Recognize a good man because a man is under so much spiritual warfare and see When the devil was working on me too. I thought I was doing something good But I didn't understand because I wasn't at the level Of spiritual warfare because my voice wasn't loud enough. So I thought being a man was so easy I thought being a man was just so You know just oh man, we got it made we got it made in the shade. And yes, we don't have to have periods Yes, we ain't got to carry no child. Yes. We ain't got to breastfeed. Yes We ain't got to have mental pause. Yes We ain't got to go through all a lot of stuff that women go through all the stuff women go through But I later learned as my territory was enlarged as my voice became louder I then found out about spiritual warfare And that's when I started to understand why adam was deceived why Cain was deceived Why Joseph was attacked Why abraham was tried why moses was tried Why solomon was tried why david was tried. I then why saw was tried I then why paul who then became paul was tried. I then began to realize This is why That's why jesus was tried after he come out the wilderness This is why because of the effect of an infirmary prayer That is over a man Because don't nobody pray for a man more than his mama and his grandma And When a woman praying for a man The adversary hear it too And if a man is locked in and focused that man could change his lineage and imagine if a man Affects change in his lineage. What happens now his children are productive Now his sons grow up to be good responsible men his daughters grow up to be good responsible women. And so now These children are productive citizens And when you have morals and you have values you upset the adversary And so that's why the head is attacked. That's why so many men are attacked with a vice So many men either Get drunk smoke weed pop pills gamble Or did the pornography masturbation fornication or adultery So almost every man, you know got a vice But that vice is to derail him to distract him from his life's purpose Because his life's purpose is to leave a mark on his family And possibly on the world so that he is never his his impact is never forgotten And it takes a place in this world and it shifts the atmosphere That's a man's role and that's why he is told to surrender to submit to his maker to his creator and so This is why there's an attack on the man And and and the thing that men struggle with is low self-esteem And I and I communicate this to my wife, but it's extremely hard for women Especially certain type of women Women who was raised in a certain way, but I communicate the importance of affirmation Men have to be affirmed and women do too But men struggle with low self-esteem Men struggle with insecurity And a lot of times it's insurmountable. It seems insurmountable So the words from a father the words from a mother the words from a wife The words from a girlfriend the words from a coach or a teacher It builds a man up it fuels them up. There was a there was a exercise in the indian tribe to where When somebody committed a crime They would bring them into the circle And they would have every other person tell this person One good thing they love about them And that person would never offend again Because affirmation and life being spoken into you When you hear what you're capable of when you are praised for what you're doing good You do not want to go the other way You do not want to be bad And so today we are dealing with Broken men We're dealing with insecure men We're dealing with men who do not know who they are under god and in the kingdom We're dealing with a lawless man. We're dealing with a lover of self We're dealing with egotistical Money hungry men And that does not go well in marriage When a man is so focused on money and his career And he's given to his vices to drown Out his insecurities In all of those things It breaks him down and so a lot of times this man becomes Abusive in the form Emotionally physically or verbally And it could be cheating It could be controlling it could be insecurity And then here's what you see Most of the time when I talk to a woman And she filed for divorce Typically the only time is when She knows she's going to get A nice alimony Or spouse of support Or she has her own money A lot of times when a woman is ready to leave and she's being cheated on Or abused she feels forced to stay Because she is a nurturer So she'll sacrifice her happiness And her peace of mind so that her children have A roof over their head and the same level of living And then when the children are gone then She can find a way to get out Because she doesn't necessarily need that roof and that level of living But even if the man just makes enough to take care of clothes and schools and bills If she's not able to do that a lot of times the woman won't leave And so she becomes trapped and that's why people say well, why don't marriages last now like they did with our grandparents Because women are not in the position of our grandmother and our great grandmother Those women did not have A real earning potential They did not have rights And respect in the world. They did not have really a position and a place So they felt their only existence was a wife and a mother Because they couldn't be a ceo of a fortune 500 company They couldn't start a six figure or seven figure business On average so they felt i'm just a wife and a mom But today it has changed and women are able to do for themselves And this is where the reckoning is coming for men Because now men are realizing that no amount of money in the world the richest men in the world Are going through divorces i.e. Jeff Bezos Bill Gates The richest men in the world are going through divorces The tallest men in the world are going through divorces The men who claim to be the most well endowed below the belt are going through divorces When you look around you see women who are leaving men who are packing So they say below the belt or in a bank account They're getting left because women getting fed up and they're saying i could do better on my own and so you have to understand that This is why this is happening Because women no longer force the state And now some men are filing for divorce And it may be for similar reasons Or it could just be he tired and he wants something new Now a lot of times when I see men file for divorce It's because they may feel and so this is the of one of the things one of the mistakes we make as men Is we try to quantify a woman's efforts and contribution in the household monetarily And so I heard a young guy actually say on a podcast Like I could hire a shelf. I could hire a house cleaner. I could hire somebody to do my laundry So what are you bringing to the table other than than that? And that is a mistake that men make that's a mistake I have made And so what happens is you see a lot of pastors getting divorces And the wife isn't filing for divorce The pastor is filing for divorce and then going and marrying a woman who is a high profile woman And the reason why you see that happening Is because the pastor is looking at the wife or the man of money It could be a producer. We saw a producer Um a music producer do this We see that happen a lot of music producers We see athletes do it and we see pastors do it you see a lot of times when men get money If their woman doesn't make money or make as much money The mistake we make as men is we look down on the woman because we say you don't earn what I earn And you're not treating me like I'm special You're not treating me like a king So as men we make the mistake of wanting a million dollars worth of treatment So we almost we will want to be bowed down to we will want to be praised like king tut We want to and so we say when a woman treats us like our stuff stank We're like, oh You don't praise me like other women. You don't desire me like other women And that's because the woman lives with us She see the bad in us She see she smell our boo boo She clean our dirty draws She is there when we are toxic controlling angry demeaning Wreckless Roofless she goes through all of that So she's not going to treat us like the women we come in contact with on the job or in the church congregation or in our business in our life And that's one of the things that happen And so a man will divorce his woman because he's saying you don't bring anything to the table Because you're not affirming me every day with verbally You're not making love to me every day. You're not cooking every day or you're not cleaning every day And you're not bringing money to the table that we can build this empire with And so what you'll see men do They will lead that woman And then they will go and get a woman who makes six figures or seven figures and not realize that What they called disrespect From their woman who was not earning on that level that they wanted her to And was not affirming him and praising him like that What we call disrespect What men don't realize is you're going to get even less adoration and admiration From a boss woman Because she's managing employees She's managing her career That is tiring That is draining and it's also Maybe outside of her nature But she had to do that Or learn how to do that. So her also is going to be tired She's not going to want to leave set and then come ride your pony She's not going to leave the boardroom and come ride your pony Especially when y'all have kids and she got to come feed them kids and do homework with them kids She's not going to feel all frisky After working 40 to 60 hours a week. So what happens is Then the man shifts from Warning love and that's why you hear so many men saying marriage is a business deal Because a lot of men are looking to do business with a woman Instead of looking to have real love with a woman Men want to get with a woman to be real estate moguls Want to get to with a woman to build a church empire Want to get with a woman to do a tv empire Want to get with a woman to be business moguls Instead of to have real love And to grind based on your gifts and your purpose and let the chips fall where they're made Men are aligning with women for business And so that's what's happening as well when the men leave Very rarely do you hear a man say he divorced his wife? Because she cheated A lot of times men divorce their wife because he didn't feel respected He didn't feel heard. He didn't feel understood And sometimes that is true Sometimes that is true But when you do the work that I do and you get to the underlying thing Then you see oh The woman you went and got got a brand and got money Or got a body Or got looks So was this really about disrespect And a lack of affirmation because the woman you with Is not going to respect or affirm you any more than the woman you left And the woman you with she got a bigger ego More clout More money And more men checking for her than the woman you left So if you were unhappy with the woman you left You give it five to ten years You're finna be unhappy with the woman you the went to And that's what your butt get Because the bible tells you not to divorce a woman just because you feel like it The bible tells you you can't divorce that woman unless she cheats on you In with adultery So Leave her because you bored because you tired because you don't like how she talked to you Guess what the next woman you finna get the same thing And that's what a lot of men don't understand about divorce That you're going from one problem to the next And one thing I have learned from being a coach and majority of my clients are women When I coach women It made me happy to be where I'm at Because I realized every woman got a set of problems Every woman got a set of problems and the women who ain't got no set of problems She just ain't telling me about them Because I know every human got problems And so I'm like, okay, I haven't been here 15 years. I'm learning how to deal with my wife problem I do not want to start over and have to learn how to deal with another one problem And my wife to learn how to deal with my problem I do not want to have to start over have to have a whole another woman have to learn me all over Because nine ten times it ain't gonna work And so 50 percent of marriages are failing 60 percent failing within the first five years between the ages of 21 to 25 But now the second marriage the rate of failure is even higher It's going up to 60 to 80 percent Because when you get it wrong the first time It's highly likely you're going to get it wrong the next time Because what you don't realize Is that it's going to be hard for any two humans to coexist So if you don't have the discipline and the sacrificial mindset to learn the human that you chose the first time You're not going to have that mindset on the second time and the second time you're going in bandaged and damaged and scorn and torn And jaded so you're going to have even less patience And the only thing that's going to make you hold on to that second marriage Is embarrassment You are afraid to fail twice Because you care too much about what everybody thinks So you become a prisoner in marriage number two or marriage number three Now there is a remnant of women who they will leave every man who will not be faithful to them So I coach a lot of women Who are on a second or third marriage And or a lot of women who are divorced and and when I say well, why did you get a divorce? They say well, he kept cheating. He wouldn't stop cheating That's what I hear the most. That's what I hear the most Maybe Once or twice I've heard a woman say I divorced him because he put hands on me Once or twice I've heard and this out of thousands of people Once or twice I've heard women say because I love because how he talked to me 9.9 out of 10 times a woman say that she divorced because he would not stop cheating And so I want you to understand this this what's happening in a lot of these cases And then these couples the specialists will never get out there with these lies. Oh, nothing was wrong We just decided we're better off as friends. We love each other for infinity infinity And we just best friends that everything is great. Stop that line Stop that line. You're doing that for the press.  That's what becomes irreconcilable differences So listen to me. I want you to understand. I want you to be very clear The marriage is extremely hard How how well do you get along with your co-workers How well do you get along with your same gender with the opposite gender? How well do you get along with any human?  It is work That's why I say Love a relationship love is a job you cannot retire from You got to wake up and show up every single day The day you you try to retire from love you're gonna lose it You're gonna begin to lose it and eventually it's gonna be gone If you get complacent, you will be replaced If you get complacent, you will be replaced. That's a little slogan I made up If you get complacent, you will be replaced So marriage is work marriage is selflessness in order to stay married. You got to die out to self And sometimes when you die out to self you take a loss What I mean by that is sometimes when you die out to self The other person appears to have the advantage But then you have to express to them and you got to express and be very clear with this person And sometimes this doesn't happen Sometimes divorce has happened because of a lack of communication But if someone would say if women would say Directly and expressly If you do not change I am going to divorce you Most men will change But a lot of women never say that They cry They argue They complain They go to therapy, but they do not say I will leave you If this behavior does not change Those words rarely exit the lips In a clear and concise way. Well, yeah, I told him I was tired of it Well, yeah, I told him he needed to change Well, yeah, I told him it hurt me. Well, yeah, he seen me cry Well, he saw me. Well, we went into therapy. Did you tell him That if he does not change you will divorce him And did you say it cool calm and collected not in the heat of the moment Not on a text message But in a time of peace After the fight After y'all don't come down on the other side of that argument Did you express that to him because you know what he has heard From his parents he heard if you don't Get right up in the wagyo behind eye What he heard from his coach if you don't get right you will not play You will be kicked off this team.  I will divorce you in a heartbeat If you don't tighten up and get this thing situated and what a lot of women don't understand That's the only thing a man going to respond to But he is not going to respond to screaming He's not going to respond to crying He's not going to respond to moping and complaining.  I'm gonna respond to that. You got to look me in the eye You got to put your big girl panties on and you got to tell me How you feeling and what you need from me Straight up And i'm a gi that because I love you and I don't want to lose you nor do I want to lose my family But the nature of a man is to conquer The nature of a man is to devour The nature of a man is to win So if a man do not respect you If a man can't feel you He's gonna run all over you He is going to run you into the ground. He's gonna hammer you Like a a hammer on a nail If you can't be and so many women come to me and coaching And they say well, how can I tell him this and how do I tell him this?   She got to get the boiling water She got to be screaming. She got to be boo who crying She got to have her brother tell him got to have her daddy tell him God won't want me to tell him.  Oh my goodness They didn't man ain't listen to no man Oh Honey asking me to talk to me He not listening to me long as you on your back But if you listen to me and stay off your back Then he got to listen to me. You know when men come to me. Let me tell you what happened when men come to me When men come to me on their own It's because they want me to send them That's the only time That a man hired me to grow as a man is when a woman sent him I could count on one hand out of the thousands people out of coach Men who came to me to grow as a man Every other man that hired me is for business He saw that I looked like money He didn't saw a couple things that looked like money He saw me get on a private jet He saw me with a suite at the NFL stadium. He saw me court sided the NBA He saw a Rolex or Audemars and he hired me for business No men hired me to grow as a man I could count on one hand Men who have hired me to grow as a man on his own And one of the men that did it was because he was gay And he wanted to get close to me And I sensed it in his spirit and I asked him on call number one or call number two is you and the women or men And after I asked that question he forfeited the rest of his sessions and I ain't here from no more Because I called the spirit out on You see what I'm trying to say are you Men do not respond to the voice of men unless it's about money A man ain't finna list what a man finna list to is an open set of legs And that set of legs that he want to get in Whatever she willing to put up with and whatever she won't put up with that's how he gonna adjust if he want her A man who won't change for for you.  You didn't get them ready for the next woman He was never yours You weren't trained account. You didn't get them ready for the next one. She whipped them in the shape because that's who he wanted That's who he wanted. He didn't want you He didn't know what he was looking for yet.   I did not do that But I told her but I asked her do you want to stay if he'll commit the coaching if he'll work and she said no i'm done i'm done He punched me in the nose I'm done I will never go back to him I say did he really punch you in the nose? She was like yes he punched me in the nose Because he say it was he say he didn't punch her He say they got into it it was tussling his arm hill Now he probably hit her in the nose but I know if this man intentionally hit her in the nose she wouldn't have had no nose This man know how to hit now this particular man he know how to hit She wouldn't have had a nose so he highly hit her But it wasn't something to where he tried to break her nose or tried to really Knock her all the way out, but it was enough contact for her to say Know to read And I absolutely you know is are you gonna stay I wouldn't fit in force of the state I want to finish trying to convince her to stay and I told him I say brah I call it straight down the middle. I don't know I can't be bald I'm like I can't be bald and I don't think just because you know, I know you or this and that that that I'm finna Tell this woman what you want her to hear I am here to help And whoever wrong I'ma call it out and whoever right I'ma call it out And so What happened with that?  He done too much So guess what don't but see the man think that if I tell the woman To stay she gonna stay that woman don't care nothing about me She want to see Him change She want to see him grow and if he will truly grow Then she will be there and stay with him. She'll submit and all And so guess what the same man Who fake change? And then he bought other men see some men could be bald So some men who got power or money or influence They buy their pastor They'll get a path to that 10 and then they'll go do counseling with the pastor and the pastor tell the woman What the man want her to hear They'll go and pay the counselor or the coach or the therapist more money than they've ever been paid And he or she will tell that woman What he want her to hear Some men with money power and influence can get a woman Coach or therapist to be on his side See, I can't be both And so when the man come and men who fake change Guess what the woman leaves them and they next relationship They go through the same thing And the men tell the woman that they know me And they tell the woman that i'm their coach And then the woman comes to me And come to find out he doing the same thing he did in the last relationship or the last two that I knew him through And now in this relationship he end up in the same way Because men do not change for men A man is only going to change for god Or a woman And it's sad that it's that way It's sad that most men cannot change for themselves just to be a better human being That it gotta be for god or a woman And a lot of times it ain't for god I really don't see men change for god. I see men change for a woman That's what I see the most some men now when I say this i'm not talking about every single in the world now I'm talking about the majority And so this what I see what I want you to understand It's not that men are evil It's not that men are Just horrible It's spiritual warfare It's an attack on the body It's an attack on the family unit It's intentional because if you could break the man down you could break the family down Hey, I'm tired. Y'all see I'm taking a long blank. I'm tired. I gotta go Oh man in midnight man.  Oh, yeah, I don't burn calories. I forgot you do burn calories all day, but Thanks. I don't burn 600 calories I've been on here eight eight.   There's women agreeing to sex on the first night There's women agreeing to let the man live with them letting the man use their car Loaning the man money. There's women reinforcing so much stuff That if a man don't want to change he just go to the next woman And until women wake up and stop getting mad at men giving y'all the game And stop seeing it as an angle Or as a scam or a play or a ploy until women Stop seeing it like that until Women stop looking at it like oh, you just telling them what to do. Oh, you just all you want to talk to the weather You don't want to talk to the weather Until y'all get the knowledge and this is the thing about women. This is the problem with women And it's equally just as worse as men It meaning So many women that hired me for coaching Tell me they've been watching my video for years And they they has hired me for coaching because they did the exact opposite of what I said do That made me want to charge double I'm finna charge charges double.  I won't be talking no child That's what I expect from a child now I'm up here giving you the game I'm giving you the whole game What you mean you slept with him on the first night? Come on now I talked to that in kindergarten of this channel What you mean you let him move in with you?   It's over with But me told Men don't respect men do not respect weakness Men do not respect weakness In in no sense of the word A man got big egos Men will push you all the way that's why people come to me for coaching Because the woman say she was fed up or the woman telling him she tired But he will push her all the way until she leave And then try to beg her back And sometimes what men don't realize is that that last push That last straw Was the straw that broke the camera back and ain't no coming back from it You should have listened to it when she told you So if you a man who happened to just tune in And you got a girlfriend or a wife and you ain't doing right and she is expressing to you That you at the end of the road she expressing to you that she's fed up.   You hear me? To let them talk about it You hear me? When a woman fed up it's a wrap So you better tread lightly and you better really read them signs now Because that's how a lot of men die. They can't tell when their ops done playing with them They can't tell when their ops done playing with them and they keep poking about poking about And their ops come and get them That's the same thing some men can't read the signs So listen read the sign now Read I know I I know my wife fed up I know I don't use all my grace. I know everything I know anything I can get away with I don't already got away with it's done. Now. I got to be on a straight narrow So I really I realized I've been a straight narrow rest of my life rest of my life and I remember We was going through we was struggling and I used to always take that tactic that abuse of tactical Threatening divorce.  I'm him must get the pole cat So when I do this my body be releasing, you know, all are different You know, I mean Speaking You know how somebody body go to internally Inflame or internally heating up When that spirit get to move and so I need to go in here hop in this shower and watch that halon Go ahead and Get on the bed And and yes, somebody say I got a great wife, but see she she see the difference is this is what people gotta understand Some people look old tone it up ladies out of midnight here on the video But our life is different. So me and her had our netflix and chill in the middle of the day And so now i'm working But we was netflix and chilling for two three hours in the middle of the day and while we was doing that I pushed one of my calls my client if she was on here to tell you I pushed one of my calls back Because we was in having such a good time watching this show. I didn't want to cut it short To end that so so if I hang out within the middle of the day I work at night If i'm working during the day Then I hang out with her at night. So so so I say that to say This why we have to touch our nose When we're looking at somebody else's business Because people have to do what work for them So when I used to work in the group home with the developmentally disabled Men one of my clients that was in the house He had a saying touch your nose He's a touch your nose And my wife always tell him I need to pay him royalties because I'd be using the man line This why we have to touch our nose Because a lot of time we on the outside looking in we trying to read into somebody marriage and we trying to speak problems on their marriage and we trying to See what's going on with their marriage and and be wrong is two left shoes Be wrong as an upside down gps and just got all the discernment and be just the loud and wrong One time Ply said that by me. He subliminally tweeted me Because I tweeted the worst thing you could be is uh guilty by association Because at Ply I added them because he had an album called goon affiliated And I say that is done Why would you be affiliated with goons because when they go down you going down And he and he tweeted and he did tweet it after that the worst thing you could be is loud and wrong And meet me or did for that too. I be I used to call them rappels I he did that to meet me or tweeted for about one time if you ain't god don't say s to me Hey god bless y'all We'll talk soon And uh, make sure you're gonna visit tonigasacademy.com That's where I put my that's my serious face over there Now that's the corporate side of me tonigascademy.com over here. I'll be cutting up a little bit over there That's where it's just the lessons probably 30 courses on there And some of them is replayed from live zoom calls So the next time we're gonna have a live zoom. I'll let y'all know but hey god bless you and we'll talk soon I'm gonna go and make sure to see if my wife's sleeping. She's sleeping. I'm gonna leave her sleep All right, go ahead I'm going here. She's asleep Tomorrow i'm gonna tell her where I work. I went to work because when I text you about what I text you about Felt like you curved me, but that's why I went to work Hey god bless you


Hi, I'm Thomas Logatel. I've lived in Winnowsky for about six years. And just to pass the time I started doing some woodworking. And I made a few things out of fallen trees. And I got sort of done with that after I made a whole bunch of picnic tables and benches and stuff that are up in Gilbrook Nature Area. And I was offered a space that we're in right now to continue doing this kind of work with found materials. And I started off in here doing that. I made another table and some benches. And pretty much when I got done with that at the same time I was working on that and getting it finished up, I came across a building on East Allen Street in Winnowsky across from the community college. And I saw that they were tearing it down. And I knew it was an old building and I was looking at them tear it down. They tore it down in November and December of last year. So I went in there and introduced myself and saw what they were doing. And I noticed that the material that was coming out of the house was really interesting to me because it's along the same sort of lines of the work that I've been doing, which is hand-hewing timbers. And I saw that there were a lot of hand-hewn timbers getting piled up down there. And I went by a couple of times and I asked the guys that were working doing the job, can I have a few of these scraps? And what I mean by scraps are pieces like this. And that's what it amounted to at first. It was about a pick-up load of all different size pieces.  And then about a week later when the house was completely gone at this point and there was a huge stack of these kind of timbers, the big ones that were actual structure of the house. And Nate DeGesse, who owns EVI Engineers, I think the name of the company is, but he's a developer and he's built a lot of nice buildings in Manuski. He was the man who his company had bought the house to tear it down and build a department building there or whatever.  So he has torn down some stuff. He actually moved an entire house from across the street of this house he just tore down. There was a house there that he moved to Burlington, old house, nice house. And I knew about that but I didn't know him. And he told me that he had moved that and he's got a warehouse full of old timbers and I just thought that was really cool. And so he offered to me all of the timbers that came out of the house, virtually all of them except for, I don't know how many, the ones that got away. But I ended up with all of them basically and that amounted to, you know, close to 30 timbers all anywhere from 12 feet to 28 feet long and some shorter ones too. But they were all the structure of the old house. They had been hand-hewn by carpenters back in the 1840s is when this house was built. He also offered to bring them down on this big trailer. So he brought them all down. It was a pretty good size load and I stacked them up over there last December and I covered them with a tarp and said okay, that's great. And then as I was finishing up and doing other things in here, I just came up with the idea of like, hey, why not just redo them into a new old timber structure. I did an inventory of what I had and I kind of thumbnailed an idea of what I could make and it was all based on the timbers that I had to work with. So I looked at them all and I saw which were the good ones, which were the not so good ones, which would work for beams, which would work for posts. And I said, well, I know I got two 24 foot walls. So I made those two things first. Once I got with the 24 foot beams done, then I said, well, how wide can I make it? It's 24 foot long. How wide can I make it? So I went back out to the pile and I looked at it and I looked at it and I studied it and took measurements and said, well, I've got two really nice pieces that are going to work really well for the beams. This is one of them. And the other one is up on the stack. So now I've already made the 120 foot section. And this is the last section. It's the last 20 footer. And I'll be done with it fairly soon. So I will have all four of the walls, posts and wind braces all done, as well as the roof structure element of the whole frame will is also done. So the whole thing is going to be the skeleton and completely done. The last piece I have to work on is this ridge beam. Can you can you talk a little bit about how you found this piece? This ridge beam was floating next to the shore of Lake Champlain, right down by the barge canal. And I saw it one day. It was right after the flood. So the water was really high. This probably broke loose from somewhere where it wasn't really floating. It was stuck. It was either stuck to a structure or it was just stuck on some rocks. And it just stayed there. But when the lake level rose that three feet or so, it rose quite a bit during that flood in June. It floated away. And so hey, it ended up right on the bike path next to the barge canal. It's like, wow, this thing is like a gift. Yeah. So I put it up on the shore. I managed to get it myself just by lifting one end at a time, very slowly moving it inch by inch. And I got it set up nice and stable on some rocks that I kind of put in place for it to sit kind of flat and straight. So it sat there flat and straight out of the water. Must have been really heavy. It was really heavy then. So I just didn't really know what I was going to do with it or if I'd ever do anything with it. I left it there. It was set up at bench height so somebody could go down and sit on it if they wanted to because I'm the bench guy. But it sat there until August. This is sat there until September or even October. And then I got done with almost all the rest of the timber frame. And the whole time I was puzzling, what am I going to do for the ridge beam? It's a 24 foot long building. I really need a 24 foot long ridge beam.  I'll use that for something someday. But then it clicked. Like, this is going to be the ridge beam. So then I started thinking, how am I going to get it out of here?  Well, it's up to me to do it. No one's really going to help me do this and it's too much of a hassle to find somebody can. So I came up with this idea of putting it on a trailer and hauling it behind my electric tricycle. I went down there with two buddies of mine who have been helping me move some of this bigger stuff occasionally. I asked them if they'd helped me and they were pretty psyched about it. So we went down there and bang bang boom. Thing was on my trailer in less than a half an hour. And then I started coming back to Wanooski. Your trailer was hooked onto your bike. I made my trailer into like two pieces. One at the back and one at the front of this. So part of the trailer, my cart's right over there. That's what I used. Say something about these saw horses, where they came from. These saw horses came from St. Peter's Church on Barlow. Is St. Peter's the right one? I think so. What on Barlow? St. Stephen's. St. Stephen's St. Stephen's Church, the old marble church that's on Barlow. It's pretty well known. So I was driving by there. I was driving by there one day. I saw the door wide open. Saw a U-Haul truck out front and I saw them taking pews out. There must have been 60 pews in there. Big, long 16-footers. So I saw those and I went up to the door. It was open and I asked what was going on and they told me we're taking the pews. Okay, yeah, I guess I knew that. But then I said, wow, what about all the other stuff? And it turns out these one by six oak pieces used to be part of the kneelers that went behind the pews. They fold up. I don't know. People know about them, I'm sure. They fold up behind the pews and then they fold down for when you got a kneel. So they didn't want those because there really wasn't much usable wood there. It was all pretty much short pieces. You could see them back there. They're not even four feet long the pieces they made those out of. So they were happy to part with those. And I said, I'll take them all. As soon as I got these timbers, I knew what they were going to be used for. So I made 14 of these saw horses. They've been the whole thing that's made this possible. I got all my saw horses made and then I just started putting the pieces up as I needed them. So each frame was up on saw horses while I made all the joints to fit them together. And now that I'm done making all the joints, I'm getting them stacked up on the saw horses, the heavy pieces, the beams up on the saw horses so I can keep them up high. So when it comes time to move them again, it'll be a lot easier than having to pick them up off the floor. Well, you know, because these timbers were used in a post-in beam, sort of a timber frame, but not a true timber frame, more or less a post-in beam, they used these notches called mortises everywhere. Every single one of these posts and beams that I have had these in them. And there was no way I could work around them. So occasionally, I'd come up to a spot where like this one, where there's just, you have to have wood there. So I fitted and glued what I call Dutchmen into the mortises where I needed them.  I had to put something in there to make it strong enough. Strong enough. I didn't want to take a chance. Okay, so I've got my lines now and what I'm making now is called a stop cut. And I'm bringing the saw down to my layout line that's going this way. So I've got a line here and I've got a line here. I want to get the saw blade just touching that line on each side. Then I have my stop cut, which gives me the depth. Okay, that's sitting flat and it's right on the line. Because sometimes the grain will dive into the board or it will rise up and then that will cause you problems if you're not paying attention. So you're going into the long grain like you would splitting a log and that is so it's weakest. That's the way it's the weakest. So it just splits off really easily and you can take a lot off at a time. Wow. So then you gotta get down there and if the grain is going nicely you can pretty much not worry too much. And before I get going too far, I like to set my chisel right on my layout line, which will give me a nice mark I won't lose. So now that darn well just about got it. All my lines are looking good. Because I like to have things just so I never make sure that it's fairly flat and it's still a little high in the middle. See how it's rocking? Yeah. That's typically what will happen. It'll be high in the center where the pith is. And this is really nice grain. It's actually there because this has got a dip in it right there. So I need about a can't go wrong with a four and a quarter inch deep. Okay. Looks fairly deep. Always leave the line. So now I'm going to drill. This is a one and a half inch drill bit. It's a two-inch mortise. Kind of hard to screw up. If you tried to use a two-inch drill bit, you could wander off and then you would make it too big. So once you get a section of it established square the way you like it. And it also matters how this is sitting. This is real crooked. You got to make kind of take an account for that. But this is sitting flat level. So a plum cut in this way will be square to the surface. So you just line the chisel up and keep it square to the surface and you follow it down. And you know, I got a lot of respect for the guys who did this back in the day because I know they did it quickly and it's amazing how accurate they were too.  They got what they needed straight for their reference marks and their critical dimensions and the rest of it was, well, yeah, so what? It's a little bumpy. It's a little crooked. No big deal. And that's what I'm doing too. You don't want, you want to get these mortises to fit as tightly as you can but not so tight that it's really hard to get the pieces together. And in my case, since I'm doing it all by myself, I'm going a little bit looser than maybe what normally would be acceptable. But when you get it all clamped up in the right orientation, square, straight, and flat, then you drill your holes and it's going to hold it there.  I'm not talking carpenter's glue. I'm talking construction adhesive, like super heavy duty, polyurethane, high tech adhesive. And it actually expands when it dries. So any gaps you get in there are going to be completely filled. Once you establish a space for the wood to break off into, it goes a lot quicker. It's a principle of woodworking and metal machining too, that you have to keep clearances around your tools.  So now that I'm getting down a little deeper, I'm paying attention to how square the chisel looks to the face of the wood. And it just becomes a matter of training your eye. This chisel is the same size as the mortise I'm making. You know, there's the depth I'm going to, so I'm almost there. This side has more to go, but it's getting close. All right, so there we go. Someone's squared off area right there. There's the depth I'm going to, so I'm almost there. I go through this whole reorganization where I got to move things around and they're all heavy. So I make sure when I move them, I don't have to move them again. And so I'm at this point now, all of the mortise and tenon work and everything else, the joinery is done on all of the pieces. So these are going to stay here for quite some time. What's next? What's next is to move this heavy beam, this is the heaviest one of them all, and get it sitting next to that beam on top of the other beam. So those four beams are the four major beams. These, yeah. Those four. And along with the ridge beam, that's all the rest are posts and wooden braces. What I got to do is lift this up to here. This is the center of the beam here. Once I get this in contact with that, then I'm pretty much there. So it's starting to get lighter and lighter down here because we've got that buzzer there. There we go. There it is. Let's see how you line it. Almost. Where this end is, flat to flat. It just sits by itself, but watch what we're going to see. See how easy it is to tip? That's a 250-pound beam and you can move it with your pinky. And if it wanted to go, it would go right over. Because of the amount of twist and non-flatness, you do have to shim it up to get it to work. So I need two or two inches, two and an eighth, and I remember. It's going to go, but it's not going to go easy. I'm telling you. It looks like it's touching. There are other things I got to do, like get all the rafters for it, and I would love nothing else than to have all antique lumber to do the rafters too, but I don't know if that's going to happen. But in lieu of that, I'm going to get rough cut native lumber. The full width, full thickness lumber, similar to the rough cut lumber that came out of the piece of rough cut lumber right here. That came out of the original house. It was 180 years old. It came off the mill just like that, and that's the way I'm leaving everything. The way they hand-hewed it, the way it came off the mill, all the old timbers have all the markings, ax marks, chisel marks, saw marks, all of it intact. It's a great project. I did not do anything to surface anything, to make things flat, straight, square, anything. I just said, this is the way it's going to look. I don't care what I got to do to get this to go together square and true, I'm just going to do it. Which made a headache out of it, but a headache that I really enjoyed. It's a great project.


First question is from Jamie Mendes PR. How can you progress using body weight training and still make gains? This is actually a good question because I'd say the challenge with body weight resistance training is exactly that like how do you? Progressively large part the body. How do I increase the resistance when my body weight is no longer sufficient? It's for the exercise. It's only I think it's it's only a difficult question when you you think of it in the context of Progressive overload is always adding more weight There's many ways that you could progress we overload the body without and we did a whole episode by the way dedicate to this I think it was like called nine nine different ways that I think it was a nine way nine different ways to progress we overload the boat something like that maybe Doug could look it up while we're talking but That that's why this seems like a difficult problem. It's like oh god Well, I can't what am I gonna do keep wearing sandbags on the second You don't have to overload the body all the time of that. Here's one slow down slow down the tip Down so the tempo down or incorporate isometrics to do to slow down the tempo pause at the bottom and hold for five seconds increase the reps at speed go something that's Explosive, right? So there's a lot of different ways that you can overload the angle get more gravitational forces. We're gonna against you Yes, so you do have to get a bit creative. It seems because it's not just like just adding a load is gonna go ahead and Provide that that type of progressive overload you have to get you have to work with the other acute variables the other factors there tempo You know intensity with you know like holding in like you mentioned with the isometric training and with you know difficulty that way Yeah, I do want to I want to add something else though because I think that's part of it But I don't think that's the main thing actually I'm gonna disagree a little bit Not that you guys are wrong or totally right, but I think the big one is that most people don't know More than the basic calisthenic exercise or body would exercise so people know push-ups pull-ups You know sit-ups lunges, but they don't realize that like with a pair of rings There is a whole bunch of very very challenging high tension High resistance body weight exercises that you could do And there's just a whole bunch of them. So I would say like, okay Yes, there's your traditional exercises and yes, you can progress those like I could go from a body weight squat to like a pistol squat For example, which dramatically increases the load, right? I could do Push-ups elevated bring them all the way down to the floor Maybe even elevate my feet like that's one way to do it But you grab a pair of rings which are very inexpensive or you could use just suspension, you know trainers Which are very similar and now you've opened up a whole plethora of different exercises where you can really make the resistance High and advanced. I mean look at look at gymnastics. Yes, that's probably your best example of how they figured out how to Make the intensity increase the intensity and also like progress you into Moves that you couldn't achieve before so, you know now I can I can do a muscle up. Yeah, you know just from Starting off being able to do good pull-ups to where I could get, you know, my body up higher and higher or get like You know ring dips where I have to go super low so I can work on all the transitions Which then build strength to then accomplish even new feet So I really think this is just it's a lack of understanding how you can overload the body because I see this even forget body weight This is a question that I think the average lifter gets and their their answer always is a different machine or adding load all the time Yeah, but there's I mean you could keep squat push up body body row or pull up and and Manipulate that so many different ways to keep over on the body when you need to get creative You don't need to go do any crazy exercises You can incorporate like I was saying isometrics in there you can incorporate tempo you can incorporate a plyometrics and explosiveness I think you combine some of those variables like all I mean you could literally not mess with the handful of body weight exercises and just Manipulate all those variables and continue to see results in the body Yeah, and the reason why I think that's the problem is because I see this even with people that have the gym membership and have access to all The equipment we always think that oh to get stronger and you know I got to just keep adding weight to the bar and that's not true Yeah, I mean you make a really good point because at some point even with Traditional free weights the answer is not to add more weight right at some point the risk versus rewards You know ratio starts to become a little bit not so great like when I was squatting 150 pounds for 10 reps and that was a real intense set for me going up to 160 and then 170 like that's there's a lot of Reward to risk right once you get up to for me at least once I got up to 350 400 or more I could add 10 more pounds if I'm stronger But now the risk versus reward ratio doesn't look the same now if my forms off a little bit which sometimes it is My chance of injury goes up So now you know once you get to a certain level you're gonna have to that's right to make it all You're gonna have to look at all these different things like yeah You could add 10 pounds to your 600 pound deadlift But you might be better off slowing down pausing doing you know changing the way that you do the lift To make it more challenging. Here's something that really good lifters know how to do They can take an exercise that they could do for 15 reps to failure and they can fail at five reps If they wanted to just by changing the feel and the squeeze I did this today, you know doing pull-ups I think if I go max out pull-ups and just wrap them out I can get close to 20, but if I really stretch really squeeze hell hard Yeah squeeze your body like super hard doing these making like a more intense like full-body tension work out I mean you can do a lot to these exercises. Yeah, so you just got to get creative with some of that stuff Isometrics is a big one. I tell you what like especially if you have something that's a move in like immovable Like if you have chains attached to the ground or something and you're driving against that Like the force you generate the force you generate you get stronger You just generate more force as long as the chains hold steady You are progressively overloading every time you do a max effort with isometrics and that's a very overlooked Part of resistance training nobody you know isometrics I believe in the future is gonna make a resurgence like everything old that's good Yeah does and people are gonna rediscover the value of it and you need almost no equipment to do it In fact with intrinsic tension you need no equipment at all But if you're more advanced like I said you could use something immovable which is requires so little space and you get tremendous benefits Hey, if you enjoyed that clip you can find the full episode here or you can find other clips over here and be sure to subscribe


Okay, maybe you say this, maybe you say, well, it's really hard to imagine how I could possibly be mistaken in this situation, right? When I'm sitting with something a foot and a half away from my face and I think I perceive it, it's really difficult to think of a situation where I've been mistaken in this regard. And Descartes can say, okay, but there have been some situations where you've been mistaken about your senses, right? Which your senses have told you has turned out to be false, right? Optical illusions, right? Maybe an optical illusion is something that's tricked you before.  Maybe you've mistaken the color of some buildings or billboards or scenery because of the time of day with the light or the atmospheric interference. There's some way that your eyes have misled you. If anybody here needs to use glasses, if you need to use glasses in some way, Descartes is already saying, hi, your eyes are infallible, right?     Maybe you thought there was some ingredient in the soup that turned out not to be there. You're deathly afraid of garlic or you're allergic to garlic and the soup has garlic and the soup has no, it doesn't have soup and doesn't have garlic in the soup. Yeah, there's food, right? This happens more than a little bit. You think the food is fully cooked, you eat it, yeah, it's fine. A little while later turns out not so much. There's all kinds of ways that you have made mistakes using your sensory input. Now you might say, but I haven't made a mistake when it's a foot and a half away from me. It's right here. I can't make a mistake about that. Descartes says that doesn't matter. You've made a mistake with your senses at some point. And that's enough to say there's some room for doubt with your sensory information, with that sensory. There is some room for doubt, not to mention, you know, all the ways that what you could be dreaming, you could be suffering from hallucination, you could be suffering from delusion, you could be hypnotized into believing that all these perhaps wacky, but possible ways in which you could form a belief that you're sitting in your room with the computer or sitting down watching your phone or whatever it is that you're doing. There's all kinds of ways, even presuming normally functioning sensory information is all kinds of ways. Your mind can be led to believe something that's false. And if you were suffering from those ways, if you were having a delusion right now, Descartes says you wouldn't know the difference because that's what it means to be within a delusion. It's not just somebody says, I'm feeling delusional today. It doesn't work that way. Wow, what a great hallucination, right? People don't do that. They think what they're saying is the real thing. So for Descartes, no, you can't trust your senses because not only have you made mistakes with your senses in the past, there's a whole variety of ways in which you have, you can be mistaken or have these judgments that are just off base.