Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of johnathanasley.com and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, the seven questions to ask them before become exclusive. All right, really quickly if you're brand new to my YouTube channel please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if any time during this video the content resonates with you please hit that like button so I can be seen in the YouTube algorithms.  It's direct, a little tough love and a lot of heart. And occasionally I use expletives to enhance a sentence. So if an F-bomb or two isn't your cup of tea I suggest logging off right now. Lastly, these are my thoughts, my perceptions, my opinions by no means do I suggest this is the truth. You have to decide the truth for yourself. I'm a bit of a contrarian so my advice goes contrary to public opinion and traditional expectations. All right, let's get started into those seven questions to ask a guy before become exclusive. And really quickly, this is your warning. This video is only for people who are looking for a serious, fully committed partnership type of relationship. If you're seeking casual, this isn't casual relationship this video isn't for you. All right, so really quickly before I jump into this I wanna share with you a conversation I was having with someone this morning about arranged marriages, arranged marriages. And she was asking me, why do you think arranged marriages are so successful or at least have been perceived as being successful? And I've heard in some cases they're not and yet in many cases they seem to be more successful. So I thought, what was the reason for this? And it seems to me in the countries that do have arranged marriages a couple of things are occurring. First off, usually both families know each other to some degree, they know each other. There's a sense of familiarity. Most likely they come from relatively the same communities. So they have a support system around them. That's just a name too. Number three, and this was the one that really was the one I was leaning on is they were both basically they had to wait till sex to have marriage or excuse me, have marriage before sex. So they were fully committed with each other when they began their relationship. I'm gonna repeat that they were fully committed to each other when they began their relationship. And today, we are in a situation of dating where it's so casual, there's so many hookups. There's these starts and stops. There's all these situations of ghostings. There's situationships. There's friends with benefits. And I believe here in the United States in particular we are seeing now the emotional effects the emotional effects of this repetitive dating process that quite frankly didn't exist 10 years ago the way it is today. And I'd say even in the last five years because of swipe dating, I think swipe applications has literally bastardized the getting to know you process. But let me come back to those arranged marriages because I said something. Their families knew each other and most likely their friends knew each other. There was a level of accountability in their relationship that doesn't exist in today's relationships. I'm gonna repeat that level of accountability. You know the reason why it's so easy to ghost someone?  Literally these days we are meeting total strangers in the dating process. We're meeting total strangers.  Who's gonna get on your case?  If I could be there on a first date I'd have the shotgun ready and pointed at the guy's face saying what are your intentions with my little sister? There's a level of intentionality that used to be in the dating process that doesn't exist anymore. There's literally, it's such an ambiguous process.  I'm gonna talk about that in a moment. But I wanna lean into the seven questions you should ask them because I'm a big believer now in approaching relationships from a monogamous exclusive perspective. I'm gonna repeat that, a monogamous exclusive perspective. What I mean to say is if you're going to, just think about the arranged marriage. One of the things I said was they were already in a committed relationship. Now, I'm not suggesting that you become in a fully committed relationship with the person you meet on a first, second or third date. No, I'm not suggesting the one bit. What I am suggesting though is maybe a commitment to the process of getting to know one another, given that it takes about 100 hours of face-to-face time just to reach the first layer of trust, the first layer of trust. Why not go in it without the gender role expectations? And by the way, if you're not familiar with the book, if the Buddha dated, I highly recommend reading this book. It throws out all the gender roles expectations and say, how can we get to know each other at a heart-centered level? How can we get to know each other at a heart-centered level? How can we get to know each other at a level of more intentionality, of co-creativeness? That's my invitation for everyone, because as I said earlier, we're meeting total strangers when we know nothing about a person. It's so easy for them to actually hurt us because they're already gone. Or worse, they can deceive us.  By the way, if you're not familiar with the book by Malcolm Gladwell talking to strangers, I highly recommend checking out this book. By the way, all the books I recommend or most all the books I recommend are in the link below under Jonathan recommends books in the description. Folks, what you need to know about the people you don't know, this cavalier dating process all centered around sex and romance is setting you up for failure. In fact, I think casual sex now is the primary reason why we have a dysfunctional dating process today. I want you to think about this. Roughly, for hundreds of thousands of years, women used to pay a price for casual sex. And that was in the form of a baby.  It wasn't until the birth control pill that everything changed for women. And by the way, I'm not here to criticize, I'm not at four against the birth control pill. What I am saying is because of the birth control pill, we now have casual sex, which means casual relationships, which means hookup relationships. And I just started reading a book you may wanna check out called The Evolution of Desire. I just started reading this, The Strategies of Human Mating by David Busse. And even as a chapter on casual sex. And one was the interesting thing about this chapter, I'll just show you really quickly.  And they said, no.  And 75 of them said, yes. We are literally in a, I mean, what can we glean from that? It's already what we already know. Men hyper focus on sex. This is why I've said this before and I'll say it again. Men are the gas, women are the brakes.  Because look, again, I told you this video is for those who are seeking a serious relationship and partnership and not something casual. Because it's incumbent upon you to now do what's known as hardballing, hardballing. This is my recommendation for you. Take it for what it worth. This may sound puritan advice, but this is in your favor because of birth control. It's made it so easy for men to have casual sex without, by the way, without any repercussions because there isn't a nine month delivery charge later, that means you have to take care of maybe a baby and the other person. And I think it's really important to understand this. Again, if you want casual sex, knock yourself out. I'm okay with that. I'm just here speaking to those that are looking for something more. So let's talk about those seven questions to ask them before you get exclusive. Bump, bump, bump. All right. By the way, is this making sense? Is this resonating with you? Please let me know by posting a comment saying this is resonating with you so far. So these are for both men and women to ask. This isn't singular for women. Men, listen, ladies, what you ask the men, you should be asking yourself or at least volunteering the information yourself as well. And the first one is going to be a doozy. It's going to be a doozy. And this is for those who are seeking an exclusive monogamous relationship. And number one is, do you have my back? Do you have my back?  This is all about trust. And trust isn't about fidelity. Trusting is, will this person actually care about my feelings? Cause I don't have my tribe anymore. I don't have my village. I don't have my town protecting me. I only have myself. I'm speaking as you ladies. Again, I'm your big brother. I wish I could be there. So think about this. It's not, can you trust this person is asking the man, do you have my back? Now let me tell you something. Ladies for the men who are casual, they will run away like a sprinter in a Olympic race. Do you have my back? No matter what. Now again, this guys will say this before sex. They'll make all the promises in the world. We know this. We know this is called love bombing. We know this is called coming on strong. This is why the process needs to, I'm writing everyone, to slow down the process and take the romance piece out and actually get to know each other at a friendship level. This is why it's about not the man leading or the woman leading. This is why it's taking it as a two lane street. And if you ask him the question, you have my back, no matter what, a sincere, genuine guy will pause. And you know what? He may answer, I don't know yet. And that's okay. That's at least an honest answer. If the guy jumps in and says yes really quickly before you've had sex, that's a warning sign. Cause how can you have someone's back that you barely know? Keep in mind everybody is a stranger. And number two, the second question. Why didn't your last relationship work out? Why didn't your last relationship work out? Now here's what you want to pay attention to. Listen for anger, resentment, judgment, criticism or throwing their previous partner under the bus. Believe me, you ladies do this habitually. I can't tell you, I'm just giving you the narrative of what I hear as a man out there. Every woman has dated 10 narcissists.  Look at every human being is selfish. Listen, men are selfish because you offer up sex so freely and easily. I said this in my weekend video, literally online dating has replaced the ability need to go to a prostitute because all we have to do is just pretend we want a relationship with you, we can just pretend it and you'll just cough it up. I'm sorry, I'm getting off track on what the question was, so I apologize. But noodle on that one for a second, that kind of is a sting. If they complain about their past relationship, that's a person who hasn't healed. And that's a person that is most likely emotionally stunted to actually be in a relationship. It takes healing, it takes closure and the ability to move on and say, you know what, no matter what happened, hey listen, we both had our differences and we moved on and you don't need to get into the particulars. But boy, if you or they are throwing their partner into the bus and ladies, you've been with men. And by the way, you listen to men throwing their partner into the bus and you go, I'll be his hero or heroine, I should say. Big, big, big mistake, don't do that. All right, number three, how much transparency do you feel you need in a relationship? How much transparency do you feel you need in a relationship? This is all about emotional responsibility. This is, and by the way, transparency means if it's material to the relationship, if it's material to the relationship, how transparent do you want to be? How many, how much of my feelings do you want to hear? Ask these questions. Ask these deeper questions instead of how's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. I'm really looking forward to hearing about your day. The from Kramer from Seinfeld. Ladies, you guys spend more time talking on text messaging about how your day is instead of the real deep stuff needed. Oh my God, I'm yelling. I get wound up, folks. Let me tone it down a little bit. I get wound up. Again, that wound up because I hear over and over again the disappointment many of you feel and I'm thinking to myself, there's a hole in the sidewalk.  Listen, if you ever want to have a chance to have a healthy, happy relationship, you have to take ownership of your life because you can't count on a man to do that for you. You have to be in charge of your relationship destiny. But Jonathan, all I'm supposed to do is sit back in my feminine energy and let the man lead and claim me. Really, is this working?  Unless you want to be a submissive. If you want to be a submissive partner, knock yourself out. You're not my type of clientele. I want to work with those women who are looking to co-create a relationship. I forgot to bring out my book, Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukoff. Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukoff. This will change your life. How much transparency do you feel you need in the relationship? Great question to ask. Number four, what do you consider cheating? Now you think about this question, but when a man says this out loud, it's harder for him to do it. What I mean is when a person actually defines what's cheating to them, makes it very hard for them to cheat on you. In other words, do you think cheating is we're in a relationship together? We're fully exclusive. And if you sleep with another person, is that cheating? You ask him that. By the way, if he says no, it makes, by the way, men do have a default morality with them. Most guys, not all guys, but most guys have a default morality. They will, if they have now said, sleeping with someone else while being exclusive and monogamous with you is cheating, then they're more likely to break up with you before they sleep with someone. I'm not saying they will, I'm saying more likely. Men can have a default morality with them, not all, but many, most. Okay, and so you wanna get us, and by the way, think of all these questions for yourself as well. Okay, number five, what if any personal development, self-help therapy or spiritual work have you done and are you currently doing? What if any personal development, self-help spiritual work or therapy have you done or are you currently doing? First off, everyone, if you haven't purchased my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway, it's a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work, and it's an ongoing process. People that do some level of personal development, self-help, spiritual work, introspective work on a regular basis tend to be better partners. They tend to want to work on a relationship together if somebody has done at least some therapy. And by the way, going to a marriage counselor once or twice is not therapy. I'm talking about healing childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas. If you're not familiar with the book, The Hoffman Process, The Hoffman Process, this is a deep dive into healing wounds. And I highly recommend you doing the work because then you'll know what to look for within a guide. This book has got a plethora of so much individual growth for yourself. You'll be able to recognize the men who have done the work because the sixth follow-up question is, are you open to relationship counseling if needed? By the way, a guy, I mean, he'll hear this and go, we don't need relationship counseling. We have the love of a lifetime. We have a love that's gonna survive. You don't need to listen to Jonathan Asley's advice because we are so magically in love with each other that this is gonna transcend all other relationships.  You know what guys need to read?  They need to be reading how to be an adult in relationship because you guys, listen, ladies, I'm talking to the men right now. Men, women purchase these books nine to 10-fold greater than you.    It's time to be a grown-up. It's time to be an adult in relationship.   And ladies, you can't count on the men doing that for you. You've got to be the breaks. You've got to be the breaks for yourself because let me tell you something. All of the dating right now is wearing on everyone emotionally. Dating triggers the number one emotional health issue. I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. And so it's incumbent upon you to take care to be in charge of your relationship destiny. You can't count on the guys. And if you're not following the advice on this video or purchasing these books or at least purchase eight dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, you only have yourself to blame after watching this video because you can't blame it on the guys anymore. No, ladies, those of you who follow my work, you've been listening to me enough now. You know the game plan here. And I'll talk about in a moment what's the real problem with dating in a second but we're gonna talk about this seventh and last piece or question to ask, how can I trust you? How can I trust you? Folks, I just talked about trust in the first one and we wanna follow up with this, how can I trust you? Because this trust isn't about fidelity. Trust is about, does your actions match your words? Do you have victim consciousness or victim, victim consciousness or victim consciousness? Do you know how to fight there? Do you have empathy? Not just for me, but for everyone and yourself. And are you transparent? These are the signs of an emotionally mature person. And if you ask a guy, how can I trust you? Listen to his answer. Because I don't even, I'll be candid with you. This is a tough one. How can you demonstrate trust? Well, I've called you on time every single time I've called you. Okay, well, that's at least a start, okay?   And I'm here, I'm being Steve Harvey, Puritan 90 days or whatever. I'm saying invest at least 100 hours of face-to-face time to the people that haven't done this amount of work. If you're dating a man who's done this much work, he's showing up as a grownup, it's gonna be relatively easy for you. Won't even have to listen to my videos anymore. But ladies, it's time to hardball. I call it radical honesty. This is what I teach in my private coaching. By the way, there's a link below to get a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. So, seven questions to ask him before becoming exclusive. Do you have my back no matter what? Why did your last relationship or marriage not work out? I forgot to mention marriage. How much transparency do you feel you need in a relationship? What do you consider cheating? What if any personal development, self-help therapy or spiritual work have you done or currently doing? Are you open to relationship counseling if needed? And lastly, how can I trust you? Yeah, how can I trust you? You see, you can't count on men. Most men are good guys. They're just bad daters. And yeah, there are some really genuinely sincere, emotionally grown up men, small percentage. Most everyone else, you gotta weed out.  Let me just tell you something. Men and women are equally dysfunctional. You equally have bad relationship skills. Thankfully, those of you who follow my channel are doing more work than most.  And I say this as a single man out there. Because you know what the problem with dating is today? I put together a list. I want you to lean into what I'm about to share here. I wanna lean into what I'm about to share here today. The problems with dating, mating or relating today, unintentional or ambivalent with effort. Equally men and women, unintentional, ambivalent with the effort they put in. Number two, overvaluing one's ability to attract what they desire. Many of you are overvaluing your ability to attract what you desire. Noodle on that for a second. Number three, lack of good relationship skills. Many of you, and by the way, I'm talking equally men and women here. Terrible relationship skills. Emotionally unhealthy people seeking connection. Oh my God, that's a recipe for disaster. All of the emotionally unhealthy people seeking connection. Not to mention the selfish people or the predatory people out there. Yes, undervaluing sex.  And I said earlier, meeting strangers and then sex and romance before trust and commitment and the paradox of choice. We think we have all these choices because of these devices. These aren't choices, these are just faces on a screen. And then of course sifting through too many people causes burnout and too many short lived connections that can create emotional discord for oneself. And let me, I have two more. Unresolved or unhealed past relationships or ongoing discourse with the past relationship or family members including children. These are all the problems with dating, mating relating. So what's the solution? The solution is develop a relationship with yourself. That's the most important thing. Heal your childhood wounds and traumas. Learn better communication skills. Resolve your past relationships. Do the opposite of everything I said. Be intentional in the process instead of being ambivalent. I look at you ladies dating profiles and I wanna vomit at how terrible of effort you put in there and men are just, I was just looking at men, the fish and everything is equally bad. Most of you, you only have yourselves to blame or at least take ownership of. I know you don't like hearing this. I think you just like to hear, it's just all peaches and creams and rosy flowers and everything. No, it's time to wake up and there's only one solution here. Find that beautiful relationship within yourself. Find that beautiful space within yourself that you find your happiness and you've done the healing, you've done the work. And when you have done the healing and done the work then put out that magnetic call for someone who meets you where you're at because when you meet someone who meets you where you're at the process is gonna be so much easier than this dysfunctional way, this current dysfunctional way of dating, mating and relating.  You're in charge of your relationship, destiny.  You might be in that 20% category that actually is blessed enough to find a good, solid relationship and then of that 20%, 20% of those have a juicy, delicious relationship. Most human beings are in very dysfunctional relationships. And again, if you enter in dysfunctionally, garbage in, garbage out. All right, that's my two cents. I might have ruffled some feathers today. Did this make sense? Did this resonate with you? This entire narrative I went off today. I hope it did post a comment. All right, we're gonna take questions right now and for those of you who know my format, write the word question and post the question there after or purchase a Super Sticker Super Chat. All the monies from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's my son who passed away. This was few months right before he passed away. Oh, it's one of my favorite pictures with his brother. That's me and a puppy pile. Some tears back with a group of friends. Doesn't anyone know what a puppy pile is? Again, if you purchase, there's a little dollar sign in the chat box to purchase the Super Sticker Super Chat to donate to the Connor Asley Scholarship Fund and all the monies in the fund goes to defraying the cost of personal development for those who need and to donate to the causes like the Hoffman process and insights seminars.org which are great organizations to heal your heart and I invite you all to do that. All right, well, I guess it's time to get started to take questions. So I think Nancy's gonna be first. So let's see what she has to say. And if you're listening to the replay, you won't be able to see any of these. Question, Jonathan, are these the questions you ask women or are these the questions you ask women you date? Have the responses been thoughtful, defensive or other? I think these are good idea but a massive shift. So I don't ask the question about do you have my back because I'm not as concerned as I think you ladies should be. So that's a question I don't ask. I definitely ask about past relationships. I do get a sense of their desire and transparency.  The personal development, self-help and spiritual work and the ongoing therapy, absolutely I ask that question. So my questions I ask about four of them. The two ones about trust, not as much. And the one about cheating, probably not as much because I'm not so worried about being cheated on. Maybe because I feel like I have a good sense of intuition. Ladies, I will tell you in the last six months, I think I've only gone on three or four first dates, maybe not even that many. I've been ghosted three times by women. So women are just to have a propensity of just being jackasses like men. So, which means I didn't do a better job screening. I got caught up with a little bit of the limerence bug in those cases. So I take ownership and the one that didn't ghost me was we just weren't fit for one another but I did get ghosted three times. Technically, I should say two and a half. I got, well, yeah, I'm gonna say two really. All right, great question. I hope I answered that for you, Nancy. Thank you so much. All right, question. Why do men think they don't need self-development? Is it their ego they look puzzled as if they've never heard the term? Because many people don't know what it is. Now, I'm gonna say something to you. When I did the Hoffman process, there was 40 people, excuse me, 39 people, 20 men, 19 women. When I did insight seminars, it was probably of the 100 people in our first class. I would say 52 women, 48 men. When I did the second class, it was almost 50-50. When I did Abraham Hicks, I mean, half the room was men. So when you actually go to personal development workshop trainings, it's almost roughly 50-50 men to women.  When you do one of my workshop, it's mostly women because I cater to women. If you go to Adam Galad's workshops, it's mostly men. There are plenty of organizations that men go to. I did the mankind project, all men, 50 men. And boy, was that intense training. Most of the time, men find out about this through other men. Women tend to find out about it a little bit more, well, they find out from other women mostly, but we men tend to find out about it from other men. It's just women purchase more self-help books in the area of relationships, probably 10-fold greater than men. So that's why it seems skewed that women do more of the book buying in this area. Now, men tend to go to like Tony Robbins, which is more for wealth building in the area of personal development. So they're getting a taste of it. One of my first tastes, so funny, I found some of my old Tony Robbins CDs. I used to listen to his infomercials all the time. And by the way, when you go to a Tony Robbins seminar, it's probably 70% men and 30% women. So sometimes it's the lens you look through. I just happen to be blessed to live in an area where Los Angeles, California, that just happens to be more personally development oriented. But if you go to Bump, I was gonna say Bumpfuck, Egypt, I'm not great, not knocking Egypt, but someplace in the Midwest or someplace in the South where most men and women haven't done any of this work. We just happen to have a proliferation of it here in Southern California. So, but I will tell you, every workshop I've been to, personal development wise, it's almost 50, 50 men and women. All right, great question. Thank you so much. Bump, bump, bump. Let's go swim in. Question, hey Heather, how are you doing, sweetheart? Question, I'm working on myself and intentionally not seeking men for dating. But if someone asked me, should I ask me out, I'm assuming, should I say no? Is it bad to date while the same time working on yourself? Absolutely not. By the way, dating uncovers a lot of what we want based on what we don't want, number one. Number two, it's only through interaction with other human beings that we actually can grow. Folks, I haven't been in a relationship in a while. I may sound like I know my shit, but I won't know it until I'm in relationship when you're faced with conflict. That's when the true person comes out.  Why block an opportunity? If you're doing the work and you at least you have a mindset of I will enter into this relationship as a grownup. I will enter into this relationship as a grownup. Then you get to see what happens. Life is a juicy journey. It's not about the destination. It's about what happens on the ride. So Heather, no, if you meet someone that you think is a good fit for you, then go for it. But I would be clear on what you want. So let me just be clear on this. I started this video with a warning. This is only for serious people who want partnership. If you don't know what you want yet, I would be very cautious. But if you do know what you want, then yeah, go for it. Because work has ever gone.  Partially because when I lost Connor, I lost my son, it cracked my heart open in such a way that said, I don't wanna do things like I used to. Sometimes it takes deep pain to break free from the confines and the binds and the chains we all oftentimes are, that we cover ourselves in the armor, the masks. So I wouldn't hold up on that. No, I wouldn't. Heather, great question. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Folks, I get passionate, I yell, but trust me, it comes from a genuine heart center place. It really does. So don't take any offense to my boisterous voice, okay? I'm just passionate. By the way, folks, do you agree I'm passionate or am I being an alarmist or a, I don't know. Anyway, just let me know. Hey, Nicole, thank you. All right, let's see what we have. Let's go swim and ask. If you have a question, post the word question, write the question thereafter or purchase a super sticker or super chat. If I answered your question, I had value for you, please purchase a super sticker or super chat to say thank you to Connor Asley. I'd really appreciate it. All right, looks like Gloria says, I love your chats. Sunny says, I follow you and Allison. Allison, and when I remember meeting Allison, she didn't recognize me at first and we were having an interaction and she goes, oh, wait, you're that Jonathan Asley. She goes, I've been following you for a while.  She said, I'm the only dating coach. This is her words. This was about five or six years ago. I'm the only dating coach that she's actually invited to one of her events. What an honor to get that from Allison Armstrong. You said, Gloria, thank you so much. All right, oh, here we go. Marta says, question, how much excitement do you think we need to feel after a first date? Do we feel it can develop slowly without an initial spark?  Cray and what you're praying for is guidance.  I mean, it's like a rocket ship that takes off without any gas to go into outer space. So I think what's more important, I've interviewed hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of women who are in happy relationships and nearly one third of them have told me and I quote, I wasn't attracted to my guy on the first, second or third date, but they kept going out because there was something there. And what they found was they fell in love with the person. I share a story, I shared the story last time. When I did the Hoffman process, there was 39 people there, 20 men, 19 women, and we weren't allowed to tell what we were supposed to do professionally. And on the fifth of the second to last day, we got to share and I told everyone, I was a dating relationship coach. That evening, all of the women there surrounded me in the Jacuzzi and all the men were pissed. And one of the women said, Jonathan, when I got here, there were two men I checked out. First off was you, I was very attracted to you. And the second was this guy who looked like the Marlboro man. I mean, he's just very rugged and strong and chiseled features and everything. And she goes, I was attracted to you and him. She said after this experience, after I had a chance to meet every one of these men and meet their heart, she said, I would date every man in this room. I'd date every man in this room. And what she was trying to tell me is, when we get past our preconceived notions of what real attraction is based on the outside and we can actually get to know someone's heart at a real heart-centered level, which is through deep intimacy. If you're not familiar with the book, I've mentioned this frequently called Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters. Oh my God, this is a great book. But my point is, you might be surprised. Listen, I'm not suggesting you should go out. Someone has a beer gut the size of Texas and he's missing teeth or whatnot. Or you could do whatever you want. I mean, but if you're feeling a connection, then don't dismiss someone just because they're not your type. You might be surprised. That's all. So, Marta, thank you so much for that question. Marita, excuse me. Thank you for that question. I really appreciate it. By the way, I wanna thank... Oh, we've got a super sticker here. So we're gonna take this question. I'm rolling past a bunch of them now. Teresa says, question. Jonathan, please help me understand why men text to ask for a date. I would be so happy to get a phone call. I will tell you, Teresa, because women across the board allow it. Women across the board allow it. So think about this. In the old days, men didn't use text messaging. We had to ask women out face-to-face or at least over the telephone. It matters most is not the how you get the date is what happens when you're on the date. I understand you want a telephone call and just, by the way, you can fucking... Here, ladies, here's my text messages. Who should I dial right now? I can dial... Listen, my sister sent me a text message. I don't have to respond with text. I can hit that little icon that says telephone. Call him. See what happens. But Jonathan, that's me being in my masculine energy. No, it's just making some effort. If you don't like the effort they're making, then pick up the phone. By the way, you wanna change something? Then do something different. Be George Costanz in the episode where he did the opposite. Does anyone remember the George Costanz episode on Seinfeld where he did the opposite of his natural behavior? He got the girl, he got the job. He got everything he wanted and he did the opposite. I'm just suggesting you try it. I'm not saying you have to do it. If that doesn't feel comfortable with you, then don't do it. But let me tell you the why. Because women allow it. If enough women allow it, men don't have to make effort. Ladies, I said this before in the beginning of the broadcast. Casual sex is why men treat you poorly. Ladies throughout for the last 50 years have made it so easy for men to get casual and hook up sex, made it so easy that men don't have to put in any effort because there's no consequences. If there isn't, listen, men don't care even about sexual diseases. Men could care less compared to women because you have more to lose. And the other thing is the most thing you used to have to lose before the birth control pill was to have a pregnancy and then an 18 year obligation. Not that children an obligation, okay? But I'm saying is an unwanted pregnancy oftentimes led to an 18 year unwanted obligation. But with the birth control, you don't need a person has to worry about that. So commitment is virtually unnecessary. Oh, by the way, we can pretend we want a relationship. Yeah, men can say they want a relationship. Yeah, I want a relationship.  Raise your hand if you've heard from a guy after he's had sex, say, raise your hand and say, he said, I wasn't ready for a relationship after having sex. How many of you have experienced that?  That's gonna weed out a lot of the look you lose. Make men read the book, eight dates by doctors John and Julie Gottman before the penis goes inside the vagina. I gotta tell you something, I cracked myself up. I love this. I love, am I the bearer of bad news I wonder or maybe I am a wake-up call to suggesting a better, a different way of approaching it. Remember I said, I'm the contrarian. Actually nothing about what I'm saying is contrarian. It's actually, by the way, is this good sound advice? Please let me know. All right, let's go back up. Thank you so much for that super sticker, Teresa. I really appreciate it. And I'm sorry if what I suggested didn't correspond to what you were hoping to hear. Donna says, I love your passion. I think it's great, you make me laugh so much. Midnight Blue says, you are passionate and thank you for it. Just passionate. Roma says, just very true, John. All right, let's go here. Nicole says, what if you are nervous to date because of the pandemic or is it just an excuse or not? You know, fear, false evidence appearing real. If you are healthy, then your chances of catching it are probably pretty slim. I still believe less than one-tenth of 1% of the population died here in the United States anyway. And most of them were senior citizens and people who had several more morbidities. Words I haven't heard before, but mostly health conditions. So if you have a health condition, I can understand that. But you know what, folks? By the way, I got the flu back in 2014. I was knocked out for three solid weeks, okay? And ever since then, I've been doing my best to have a healthy lifestyle since then. So, but fear, okay. You could be using the pandemic as an excuse for fear. And what I mean as an excuse for fear because the fear of rejection or the fear of giving your heart to someone and then it not working out could cause you to be reluctant. Folks, there's a line from the movie. Tell me if you know the movie. Get busy living or get busy dying. I believe we have a choice.  No, you can sit back or you can take charge. Which person are you? Are you gonna get busy living or get busy dying? I'm a believer. Look it, I haven't found my soulmate yet or my life partner, Matt. I'm okay. I know she's coming. She's just hasn't found me yet. And I haven't found her yet. It'll happen. In the meantime, I live my best life. I make effort on a regular basis. And you know what? I trust that the universe has my back. You know what? I trust the universe has my back and that's my invitation for you. So thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it, Nicole. Kathleen says, do you ask these questions on a first date? You know what? Seven question to ask them before becoming exclusive. No, but I ask a shitload of questions to determine. Listen, folks, if you're not familiar with my relationship, iceberg. Okay, attraction. First thing we see is chemistry. What makes a relationship successful? Shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. I grill women. Fuck, yes, I grill women. And the ones that are turned off are the ones that aren't right for me. The women who actually appreciated being grilled by me love it. They're like, oh my God, you're so different, Jonathan. You're actually asking me all the right questions. And I will tell you a lot of women I pick because of attraction, but I have to weed them out on the telephone. I weed out a lot on the telephone. It's like telemarketing to me. Weed them out, weed them out, weed them out, weed them out. Because I believe roughly, okay, folks, if you're not familiar with my emotional maturity relationship skills chart, this is not a fact, it's an opinion. I believe 20% of men and women have clinical issues that makes it very difficult for them to be in a relationship. And while I say over here, 20% are healthy and I'm talking about relationship skills and emotional maturity and I'm talking about women is equal to men. 20% is generous. I think it's only 5%, but we'll go with 20 because most of everybody is dysfunctional. Myself included. So I like to do a lot of weeding out on the telephone before I line them up on a date. And occasionally I've said yes too quickly. So I think why I got ghosted these last couple of times. I went in under thinking that they were, you know, I didn't make them jump through hoops. Jonathan, maybe that's the reason why you don't get dates. You know what?   Most men are winging it. They're winging it. They're winging it. And so are you.  That's my opinion anyway. So the answer is, I try to ask as much as I can ahead of time. By the way, some women genuinely appreciate it. And I just, the problem is they've been too far distance wise.  All right, question. I'm dating a guy five years younger. He doesn't have children. I know I don't want any, but when I ask him, he says he doesn't know. What do I do with this when I've been dating for a year? Listen, a man who says I doesn't know is using that as his exit clause. A man over 35 years old knows whether or not he wants children or not. And if he doesn't, that's just, that's his pre, that's his called his exit clause. In other words, he says he don't know so he can keep having sex with you at his beck and call.  I'm gonna pull out my exit clause. I've decided I want to have children. You know what? Unless it's both a no for you, I would think twice on continuing. That's my invitation for you anyway. And I say this from experience over and over and over again. I've witnessed women go through this. So this isn't the first time I've heard this. I've heard this a lot. All right, thank you for your question. All right, Pamela says, divorce nine months ago, I've had contact with my ex because of taxes business. I don't want him back, but feel the desire to explain my culpability due to discoveries. Is this okay? My culpability. If you're gonna take ownership on your part to the ending of the relationship, I'm all for it. If it's throwing your ex under the bus, I would never date you. I'll leave it at that, Pamela. I would never date a woman who throws their ex under the bus because that tells me they are not emotionally mature enough to be in the kind of relationship I see. But then again, I'm the one seeking fully committed relationship with partnership. Maybe you're not ready for that. So go at it as you wish, but I invite you to heal all of you listening.  Not the relationship. Heal so you don't have to be negative about it.   And by the way, men and women can take advantage of that negativity. They can use you. So be careful of that. That's my invitation anyway. Thank you so much. All right, let's go swim. Any super stickers or super. Am I doing a good job? Please let me know. Purchase a super sticker, super job. Leanne says, great episode, George opposite day. Exactly, FL says the same thing. I think men do this to ease rejection. I think that's what they all, yes, I agree with that. The movie was not the yes man, get busy living or get busy dying. What movie is that? All right. Let's go swim in. Joan Berry says, excellent advice. Thank you so much. Co-morbility, mobility, mobilities. Mobilities, thank you. I couldn't get that out of my mouth. False evidence appearing real, exactly. And yes, it is the Shawshank Redemption, Diane. Way to go. Oh, here we go. Marta says $6.99 super sticker. Thank you so much for the Conor Rosalie Scholarship Fund. Much appreciated. All right. Tracy says, Jonathan, I was playing Joe Jackson in the car out loud today. My teenage daughter. Ba-da-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum. Sometimes you start feeling so lost and lonely. Then you find it's all been in your mind. My favorite song and I'm terrible singer. Least, Nicole says Least telemarketers care to call. Yeah, that's a good point. All right, let's go swimming. Oh, Nancy, thank you for the super sticker. Thank you so much. I hear you heal your heart. Louise, hey, one of my first books I ever read on personal development. All right, this is gonna be our last question for the day. What exactly do you think emotional maturity is? I keep hearing this term. Could you please describe it for me? Yes, I have a video on this. By the way, I'm gonna describe it for everyone. But Google, go into YouTube search search in Jonathan Asley, five signs of emotional maturity and you'll see a longer video about what I'm gonna share. Number one, a person's actions match their words. A person's actions match their words. That's a sign of emotional maturity. Number two, they are in Victor con- Am I pit stains? Victor consciousness, not victim consciousness, okay? Victor consciousness, we are suckling on the nipple of victim consciousness here in the United States. This is when you complain and blame. Complain and blame, complain and blame. And we are suckling on that nipple, men and women alike. Number three, the ability to do what's called fighting fare. Fighting fare, that means, fighting fare means when you're in a conflict with a partner person, you listen to the other person's point of view. You accept that, you reiterate what that person's point of view is. You accept it for being true for them. They do the same for you. And you can have discord where you agree to disagree but learning how to fight fare. What isn't fighting fare? Defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, contempt. Those are all signs that your relationship will implode. Number four, empathy. And empathy isn't just, you care about people's feelings. Empathy is you care about the other person's feelings and more importantly, you care about your own feelings. And lastly, number five, transparency. And transparency means if it's material to the relationship, you speak up. So if you have an STD, you say it, you don't sleep with the person go, oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you I have an STD. If it's material to the relationship, you speak up. Anything material to the relationship. And that's five quick signs for emotional maturity. Is this sinking in? I hope it does. Thank you for your question, Linda. I really appreciate it. Thank you. Oh, I wanna thank Liana for the super sticker. Where is that? Thank you so much. There we go. Thank you so much. Elaine says, you are fantastically passionate. I am very passionate tonight. Mariposa says, I should have mentioned he's 32 and I'm 37. Yes, he has an escape clause there at that age. I'm just telling you, I'm not saying it is, but there's a good chance. All right, folks. Hey, Todd, we got a guy in the group. Thank you so much. See, for the men, listen, I bagged on men today, but I wanna be grateful for the man that's here. Folks, listen, let me wrap this up for you. We are in a whole different ball game today.  Go back to listen to the 20 minute mark of this video, because it is very difficult these days and it requires doing the inner work first. Do your work first and you're gonna be set up for greater success than if you do little or no work ahead of time. Also, I wanna thank Nicole for the $2 super sticker. Thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it. All right, folks. Listen, if I've provided value tonight, please purchase the super sticker super chat for like all the people that have done so far to show appreciation also to give to the Conor Asley Scholarship Fund. Oh, of course, son. Also, if you find value in this, please check out the links to a free discovery call. My group called Midlife Love Mastery. This is a group where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis for just a few dollars a month. Also, check out my podcast, The What Would Love Do? podcast. Check me out on Instagram and you can also get a free gift at my website. And I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do.  I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Leanna and Linda and Marianne and Nicole and Todd and Cass and Catherine and Heather and Blondie and Roma and Kitty cat for babies, Maria, Danielle, Heather, sweet Heather, Catherine, Pamela, Jennifer, all of you, Gloria. Thank you so much, everyone. Wishing you a super duper wonderful evening. Bye-bye now, thank you. Thanks Catherine, I appreciate that. Bye.


No glitches. How many folks had a pickle juice martini last night? That that I won't say it's better than the NorCal margarita, but it's a really nice compliment. I'll tell you that so That that farm dinner last night was absolutely amazing Yeah That was my question. It was about pickle juice. Well more broadly it was about mineral supplementation, you know Considering grass-fed organic paleo diet. Is it necessary to supplement with minerals? My take on this as a supplement manufacturer and distributor is no And and just sort of as a background story I've been in the supplement business for almost 30 years and I entered it as a as a means of trying to find ways to assist athletes improve performance By providing things that they couldn't necessarily get from their diet, whatever that diet was But as I got more and more into this realm of Primal paleo ancestral, let's call the whole thing off. I I Saw that so many of the deficiencies that we normally see in athletes who have a high carbohydrate diet and lots of sugar and lots of Omega-6 oils and things like that Was probably the root cause of all the not all but a lot of the many mineral deficiencies and the The idea that perhaps, you know, the the fight age binding with some of the minerals and and a lot of these other things that we talk about in the in the broad context of a primal or paleo diet it may Cross over into for instance women who have osteoporosis. They don't have osteoporosis necessarily because they're not throwing enough calcium at their bones They have it because of some other Metabolic issues that relate to the foods that they were eating Being inappropriate for absorbing calcium in that regard. So my basic take is that other than somebody who's on probably a aggressive ketogenic diet In which case you probably want to do some supplementation or if you're on a very low carb beginning very low carb Part of your weight loss strategy in which case it's probably appropriate, but as you get I think closer and closer to What I would call a an ideal body composition. It's probably less and less Critical to do that provided you're provided you still have at the base of your food pyramid Substantial vegetables and you just to Maybe add a little bit to that I have a can of Mark's master formula with the packs in my pantry and I usually use like one or two a week But it's very random. So for me. I'm a little bit I'm looking at it more almost as a hormetic stressor than I am as potentially a Nutrient deficiency, but I think given the level of stress I have we just had a baby and all the rest of that stuff Like I kind of dropped that in just as a safeguard, but I really randomized it I mean Art Devaney was talking about that in like 95 98, you know instead of being super Pedantic about it. It's like use these things, but be a little bit intelligent think about the ancestral life way Try to have some kind of modulated input so that you're diversifying toxin loads Like that. This is another thing that just eating one variety of food all the time you're pumping one You're pumping Typically one type of a flavor of toxicants or even vitamins through metabolic pathways without diversifying that and then you can overwhelm those systems versus, you know mixing stuff up a little bit So I I think it's a thing again where there's a lot of individual variability you think about like if somebody's Hypoclerotic they have low stomach acid.  Really really low and this is why a lot of the people who have hypocleridia or other gas or intestinal problems They have a fingernail ridges and stuff like that They have a dental issues wrote with our dentist up here who's who's talking to us So, you know simply saying okay, well I eat a paleo diet. I'm good or primal That's that's so surface and we're not considering the individual We're not considering their stress. Are they police military fire medical because they're doing shift work And then they end up with hypocleridia. They have abnormal gut bacteria You know, I mean there's so many Extenuating stories there that it's really important I think that this is not to get like wax philosophical here But I think there is such a potent desire for folks to say this is the thing This is it, you know, this is where the orthodox paleo whites live And this is the way that we're gonna do it and we do ourselves a disservice with that because it's where the pissing Masses start and it limits our ability to really be able to customize this stuff We have a template that we should then intelligently look at our individual Circumstances and then make some informed decisions off that and sometimes the decisions will be wrong and sometimes it'll be right But it's a lot better than trying to spackle this this one-size-fits-all approach to all this Thank you very much. Can I add just one more quick question or It was really in light of the fact that most of the soil in the Western world is kind of denuded of minerals I just didn't know if that factored into you know Yeah, I mean I having said what I said about just blanket. I think the first thing you need to do is fix You know your diet to to eliminate some of the things that are probably causing issues Part of that if you if you look back at the daily values and the RDIs and the RDAs as they were first constructed in the 40s and 50s and they were based on Some assumptions one of which was a grain-based diet So I think in many cases probably 1,100 milligrams of calcium a day for women is probably too much It's probably inappropriate if you if you've rid yourself of some of the other factors So maybe the mineral requirements aren't even as high as we originally thought they were And but but again having said that if you do have these issues then certain amounts of supplementation can still be appropriate And I came up with a new product idea after what you just said Fractal formula See once in a while how often you take it once in a while. Well, no, you just you just You randomize what's in it. It's in you. Yeah Black box you actually push it. We have somebody from the FDA here. So we push it through. We're like, no, no, no This is fractal dosing. Yeah, so It's just the error bars are bigger than what you claim are in the sample may contain this Yeah All right Next just a comment and then a question first to you two guys and dr. Eaton and everybody here Thank you very much for bringing all this stuff into the mainstream and helping everybody here and helping us me Now at the risk of Rob jumping across the table and turning me into some kind of pretzel with a BJJ move after What he just said and couldn't be my question being one of those broken guys that's a firefighter Aromatic shift work can't sleep all the other metabolic issues that come along with that General broad brush recommendations that can help with sleep other than sleeping in the dark room and knowing what we already know Is there anything new? Any better way of dealing with What we have to deal with I Mean the classic stuff, which I can't say it again or enough You know like pitch black room really good sleep hygiene so that when you are getting ready to go to bed Like it's kind of a consistent I like to say like serial killer consistency and if you see my handwriting then it's completely Charles Manson So, you know, it's like consistent there. I think that depending on what the individual has going on You know like that. I made the recommendation that maybe First responders should be using some low-dose You know metformin under the guidance of their doctor obviously all the rest that stuff But you know if we reverse metabolic problems, then we tend to antagonize the production of cortisol And if there's one thing that's going to shut down sleep is elevated cortisol And so maybe it's some diagnostic stuff just doing like a four-point ASI to figure out where you are in that spectrum Being really intelligent with your training.  You know work capacity of Ross corrupt broad time immodal domains what that translates into How much can you do without dying? And I think that that is antagonistic towards sleep because you know the cortisol axis and all that so Getting all that stuff kind of squared away and then on the supplementation side Depending on what you have going on. Maybe GABA maybe melatonin definitely some Like the fizzy magnesium stuff I have a doc who I've been fighting the idea that transdermal magnesium works. I'm like Bollocks it can't work, but he just threw me a bunch of papers that Claimed that people sitting in epsom salt baths that they they did blood work on them and they can see plasma magnesium go up And so I have said Bollocks on this for so long and because I couldn't find any good papers on it And then he just threw a bunch to me. So maybe like a magnesium salt bath So there's some things that we know are pretty good at inducing relaxation And that's about it I mean this is part of the the thing that for our police military fire and medical workers Like we need to be more intelligent about how we we structure their shifts because there are better and worse ways to have people Come on and off shift most excessive force. I've been really tight in with the The police chief scene on the national level virtually every excessive force scenario that that pops up in the news is Immediately following a shift change for the police officer So you you've just had your sleep disturbed you go out there You get put in a difficult situation and you're cranky and you make a bad decision Potentially, you know, so that's stuff that we need to think about Yeah, maybe more fats. Yeah, so does that help a little bit? I mean like you know So some of these classic sleep aids Melatonin Gabba, but depending on how you know what it is that you need to deal with but making sure that you're dealing with Cortisol a fossil-tile serine like two to six hundred milligrams fossil-tile serine before you go to sleep can suppress cortisol production But if you're at the end of adrenal fatigue and you're not producing enough cortisol then that could cause a lot of problems So I can find a good doc to do all that with With a booster seat What are your thoughts about icing for Whether icing is primal paleo or beneficial for chronic or acute injuries Well, I'll I'll lead off on that. I mean my own experience with icing has never been good and I've always sort of fought it Not not intellectually as much as just intuitively And I've never really had and I've had a lot in my share of injuries And I find actually that some amount of heat works for me better than ice so I'm seeing now in the literature. There's a movement toward getting away from this Aggressive icing of an injury immediately post on the other hand in terms of Some kind of a chronic inflammation I I do subscribe to the idea that maybe a soak in a tub for a Couple of minutes might be a good hormetic stressor to add to the to the complement of your recovery One of the greatest Marathoners that ever lived a New Zealand guy named Jack Foster swears that his longevity Was as a result of his having stood in his backyard and hosed his legs off with a garden hose after every run he ever did So there's you know clearly anecdotal, but I'm not with regard to this again aggressive icing post post trauma I'm not a big fan of that and Particularly now that I've read more of the science. I do think that some it's really about Getting blood flow to to get to that area and clear Waste away and bring in new nutrients and and to a certain extent decrease swelling but if anybody read k-stars recent one of the recent Mobility wad pieces it was about and I've agreed with I've thought about this for a long time as well And and now the orthopedic community says this which is basically we're going to get you up and moving as soon as we Can after after a surgery or after an incident so one of the new treatments is to actually Move within reason up to a point of pain or just a mild pain As soon as you can after an injury will will probably help speed up the recovery Yeah, do you know the only thing I'd added or just to kind of springboard off that like somebody has a ACL repair and then they throw them immediately in a CPM continuous passive movement machine You know and they start bending and flexing and part of what we're thinking about with this is that when we're trying to heal You can have kind of a spastic healing which is a bunch of amorphous scar tissue Or you can have tissue that is laid down in a way that we actually have support structure that is advantageous You know like if you want a Protein matter running in this direction versus like an amorphous mass because you're you know You're loading through the patella. You don't want scar tissue just that's just all kind of gnarled up and interestingly Having a pretty significant inflammatory response is critical in that there's different pro-lo therapies Think things a little of that nature that you know They will actually induce Inflammation in a joint or or in a particular compartment in the body to try to speed You know do you need to kick start the inflammatory process? Kiloid scarring is actually a scar that's gone partially through the the healing process and then it stops And there are certain drugs and and I think like st. John's wort oil and stuff like that that will Restimulate the inflammatory response and move things through I think that occasionally, you know sometimes just palliative It may feel good to throw some ice on there, but it's kind of making sense, but again like this is The systemic Effect of jumping in an ice bath is different than the localized effect of trying to turn all the inflammation off because you You know you have some tennis elbow type thing That's completely different than the systemic effect of jumping in getting a hormetic stressor getting the full body insulin Sensitizing so it's important to remember, you know 30,000 feet versus, you know, right right at that local level Totally She was waiting longer So I'm coming from more of a longevity interest than a Athleticism kind of interest and I'm scoping out an ultra high-fat diet as a possibility of that Mark, I think I'm one of your blog posts you Disclosed being maybe the the 55 60% range for fat intake wondering what you guys think of going higher than that Are there any problems? Yeah, I think one of the things that I've arrived at Personally is a recognition And Ron rose deals another person who would probably Be in this camp that the less glucose you burn in a lifetime the better off you are which doesn't mean zero glucose It doesn't mean, you know very low carb all the time, but it means trying to aggressively You know find ways to Improve your fat intake and your fat metabolism and and and that includes how you move to support that That lifestyle and that's it ultimately the the Primal blueprint was about Taking a look at the recipe for a healthy human and and putting in all of these component parts that we know to be there a broad base of Very low-level at heroic activity You know plants and animals and all of the things that we talk about avoiding toxins, but ultimately Glucose in my mind is probably you're probably better off reducing as much as you can over a lifetime and yet one of the new strategies that we're going to be incorporating is sort of a cyclical you know we use periodicity in in training and well you can use that in life, too So you go through periods of time where you are Maybe very low-carb and other times where you kind of come out of that and you you're not in so you're not a Ketogenic guy for the rest of your life, but there's times when you go into ketosis and it's very beneficial and it Cleans up some of the some of the debris that is one of the intentions of ketosis and then you come out and you you know Explore some of the flavor options that are that are not available on a ketogenic diet but I Think that I mean Peter at hyper lipid is a guy who's been probably 80% fat for years and years and years seems to do Very well on it So I don't I don't see much harm in that but I but I would be just from because we don't have the data I wouldn't necessarily plan the rest of my life to be ketogenic. I think an interesting development if folks want to do some searching Michael Rose from University UC Irvine and a lot of his stuff sounds a lot like what Art Devaney talks about and they were in the same building So I can't help but think that they probably had lunch a lot or something but he he had some really interesting papers that basically described the fact that Chloric restriction in humans was probably not going to extend life and There's some interesting things genetic reaction norms like how organisms respond to various inputs and From survival standpoints and whatnot like if if you look at the amount of energy that an organism puts into child rearing And if you curtail energy Input then it's likely to extend life, but for humans that doesn't seem to be the case And so that for me it was kind of like Okay, fine, so I'm not going to do calorie restriction be cold skinnier than I already am Hypogonadal and everything else to live longer.  Maybe maybe I don't live longer in total time But the amount of time that I have is much, you know more productive and and I Forstall that decline one of the key features of that there's a great paper secrets of the lack operon which talks about nutrient partitioning and how we we Are able to be flexible with the the fuel substrates that we use and basically one of the characteristics of aging is that you Lose the ability to mobilize fats as a primary fuel source and to become more and more glycolytic What what's a primary tissue that is exclusively glycolytic? glycolytic folks red blood cancer Cancer the Warburg effect so as you age and if you age in effectively you start looking a hell of a lot more like cancer Than what you would ever want to look like cancer So one of these things that we can do is a cyclic low-carb approach, which is what I had done for for years You know just for like athletics and it seems to be this kind of middle ground I I see a graph of performance health and longevity and we clearly know from data from professional athletes that a Performance orientation will antagonize health and longevity at some point There was just some some research that a professional football players have an average lifespan of 58 years So we need to really work to keep John well-worn Sort of step on fish oil and keep the big lug alive till he's like 90 So you know it's but this is the the stress and I think a lot of it is oxidative damage and impact and all this and so We can mitigate those things by a cyclic low-carb and part of that element of the cyclic low-carb is this hormetic effect again we have a moderate carbon take today which is going to up regulate all of the kind of detox enzyme pathways that deal with a Larger carbohydrate intake five days down the road. So it's these punctuated equilibrium moments where we You know you maybe have higher higher carb for a day and then much higher carb six days later And then you're immunized against that high carb meal later, but it's causing you it's forcing you to be Metabolically flexible and the substrates that you're using and I think that's very very beneficial for long-term health It is all super speculative and this is one of the things that makes me a little bit nuts about like well It needs an RCT. It's like design an RCT for this tiger You know it's like there's there's so much stuff out there that just is going to defy Throwing it into a randomized control trial And so do we just sit there and like sit on our hands and wait? Well, I don't know we can't do an RCT so we shouldn't speculate about it and do some tinkering I think that we have enough understanding of some metabolic pathways that we can make a reasonably educated Thought about what we're doing and don't become religious about it and go nuts or anything But you know we can we can make some informed decisions about you know What's going on because we understand a little bit of the metabolic machinery and we can make some informed decisions on that? I also think we know the outs where the outside margins are so that we can play with this Individually so that we can you know we talk a lot about the experimental one and If you've gotten to the point where you've been in this arena for a while It's it's appropriate for you to maybe Play around with a little bit and see what see what your own results are you're not going to do any damage to yourself Let me throw this out there. I've been doing more safe starches and my LDLP has gone up dramatically So I'm gonna start eating ketogenic again So yeah, and I which I had eaten Ciclic low carb where I would go like you know six days Very low carb and then have a reasonably large carb meal and then three days and then two days And then six days three days two days and I just kind of broke it up like that And when I did that I had blood lipids that would make you know any cardiology Weep and now they don't look that good my triglycerides are higher everything's higher So I obviously am not all that carb tolerant But I know Matt Lawn has been tinkering with more carbs And he ended up putting like eight pounds of muscle on and he's leaner than I've ever seen him So that's where that experimentation any equals one tinkering We've got some general ideas and then you need to get in and tinker and it's kind of like putting on a pair of Jeans it's like does my ass look good in this or not? I don't know you don't know until you try so yeah Yeah We haven't spoken much about gender differences with these ancestral diets and a lot of complaints You know from women they they will say I'm holding on to more fat or post-menopausal women Does it matter? Are we supposed to hold on to more fat? You know should we be trying to lean down as much as our male counterparts, you know yeah This has been a in the last couple years I've noticed this a lot in the comment boards and in the forums and So my take on this is that first of all if you are in a position where you've come from us any kind of metabolic damage Or any kind of overweight or any kind of a issue and you've addressed some of these issues through this strategy of eating You've gotten rid of PCOS. You've gotten rid of your type 2 diabetes. You've lost some weight there women tend to hit a plateau sometimes sooner than men and Calls to question in my mind the concept of ideal body composition and my take on that is that if you get to a point Where you plateau and you may not be satisfied because you're not yet ready for the cover of Victoria's Secret catalog It doesn't mean that you failed. It's it's a sign that your body is saying I love what you've done with the place You know I'll stay here. I want to I want to stay here a while And if if you're not sick if you have the energy that you need if you maintain that weight without Fighting it and without having a calorie count if you're able to go about your life then then All other things being equal. What's the problem? So now we but but then the problem becomes because of the society that we live in damn And I want to get down to 13 I'm a woman and I want to get down to 13% body fat. Maybe it's not in the cards for you so But that's got to be okay because this is first and foremost This is about reclaiming health the other stuff to look good naked comes later And sometimes it doesn't come at all and that's got to be okay too because it's got to be about an acceptance of of the health that you and the recognition of what you've done to get to to reclaim new health and Then from there you can decide but sometimes there are costs attached to getting to the next level You may have to work really hard. You may have to now you may have to start sacrificing and suffering now You may even get sick more often and And not live as long just because you wanted to be on the cover shape magazine My parents recently switched over because my father had a cholesterol issue and insulin resistance And we convinced him to switch so my parent my mother's in her 70s She's doing it with him and she's constantly complaining that he's losing weight and she's not losing weight And so it's not working for her and but she's healthy. She has no health issues Can I confidently say or it doesn't matter you're holding on to the weight, you know, that's where you need to be at 75 Yes, who remembers the blog post that I did on in my meeting paleo may losing enough weight So what's the take home on the weight loss deal? What do you do with your scale?  Do you care?  She maybe had some osteoporosis brewing like, you know There's probably a bunch of stuff there that's being reversed And so the scale isn't giving her good feedback and that's where like a simple hip-waste measurement before and after photo and then having some performance orientation and if that's like going to the end of the stop sign That's a quarter mile away and back and she times it and that's her kind of performance metric cool But if you focus on performance, this is one of the cool things that I really liked about what CrossFit has brought to the scene Is it when people are performance oriented? They don't do squirrely eating habits Anorexia and bulimia goes out the window because if a chick comes in the gym today And she's got three pull-ups and then she's not eating enough or binging and purging over the weekend She comes in on Monday and she has no pull-ups and then she gets her ass kicked in front of all of her peers And they're like what went on and there's like I had a bad food weekend But that's done that's behind me now and so when we focus on performance and let the aesthetics come as an outgrowth of You know form form follows function kind of kind of gig Then we don't have those problems and a lot of these other issues that pop up the eating disorder and stuff like that are gone Yeah My question is is concerning an unwanted outcome of CrossFit, which I just started about a year ago and The problem I'm wondering how common it is number one and number two Is there anything that those of us who are suffering from this can can do? So that problem when you have your sit bones so no matter when you're sitting what you're doing is Becomes incredibly painful. I guess they call it bursitis or tendinitis of the ishield tuberosity Something like that. Does that's about yeah, that's that's up close and personal. Yeah TMI so Yeah, I've had it all my life and it goes away when I get fatter And then when I get more muscly and thinner and doing CrossFit I'm in pain all the time when I'm sitting, you know, whether it's driving in the car. So obviously, okay, the solution is never sit, right? You took my smart ass Next question Right No answer for that that's generic it's real specific to to you I know you you you find people who have the same the same issue But I mean, I don't know whether it's the form that you're using and in the lifts that you're doing or there's no I mean this again the solution is Is is you know the kind of stretching that you might want to do to maintain the robust flexibility that you need to have and Not so not depend so much on the strength and the and completing the wad as much as the health aspect of this You know, what is it going to take to keep me mobile for the rest of my life not to kick some 26 year olds ass in this workout But some of this is just like the backside has less padding and then you end up having some problems sitting Maybe just like one of those physio balls the big inflatable Or the stand-up desk, which I do both, you know, I do a lot of writing and We'll do You know 40 minutes standing 40 minutes on my on my sit-down deal And then I'll actually take my laptop and throw it in the floor and then lay down an extension So I've heard levitation is Yeah, that's probably a different conference, but yeah, yeah, that's the Berkeley conference for sure So we have like five minutes, so we should definitely Boogie boogie down. I'll make this quick My question pertains to intermittent fasting and I know you both kind of spoken on that a lot Like everybody else here. I'm very busy. I'm getting a master's degree. I got a kid. I'm a firefighter I'm worried about getting it into my into my regular routine and Elevated stress level. So what physical and physiological like indicators Should I be looking out for to say that I'm too stressed if I do implement it and twofold? What is what is your take on intermittent fasting and having say a hundred and fifty calories worth of like a clean protein? just a straight plate weight protein in the morning and maybe a couple hours later like another 50 calories to prevent muscle degradation I Think that that's a smart way to go. You could do weight protein. You could do branched chain amino acids Martin Burcombe from lean gains is really tinkered with that stuff a lot The thing that you want to be careful about is when we start elevating cortisol Antagonizes testosterone production. We get a pregnant alone steal and that stuff is so insidious And once you head down that path, it's a little bit like heat stroke Like once you've started doing it it is so easy to go back there And you are already in a lifestyle that facilitates being cortisol, you know overloaded So I would just be really careful with that I if anything else the intermittent fasting literature what it tells me is that we don't need to be neurotic about eating every two hours to Maintain muscle mass, but if you have a very stressful lifestyle, then I don't know that I would really advocate it Like I would try to do those things that mitigate stress as much as possible So I would be really careful with it. I agree. I think what we're trying to do here is we're trying to to To to retrain our bodies to be good fat burners and to be able to use ketones And and so I use intermittent fasting only when it's forced upon me You know if I'm traveling and I and I'm on a cross-country flight It's not gonna have any good food or whatever.  I have the ability to cruise and not have it affect me So intermittent fasting purposeful intermittent fasting is really good for people who want to lose a lot of weight Or people who are really into the anti-aging strategy of if I'm fasting, you know Theoretically I'm going to be repairing DNA. I'm going to be consuming damaged proteins and fats and things like that as part of that but again in a stressful occupation and with a fit guy, it's it's probably better just used as As a tool to assist you when it's forced upon you that you don't have to worry about Tearing in the muscle tissue because that doesn't happen anymore because now when you when you don't eat you just burn fat Okay We're good one minute quick question quick answer controversial question though that's a good rapper in Norway in my country in Europe The team that's currently leading the soccer elite division has been on the low-carb high-fat paleo diet for Six seven years and this obviously is very controversial And this is a club with very small resources and they have outstanding numbers Better performance after they switched to this diet. We see that especially with Players coming from other clubs that use high carb They lose a lot of fat very fast and we're talking about top top football players But on the other hand, we have had a lot of well You had had several incidents with top athletes having heart attacks that are on a high carb diet Controversial questions, but I was wondering if you had some thoughts about this Because we have seen it in Manchester City Manchester United several region I think when we start talking about professional athletics like diet is huge But this the stress that people are subjected to in professional athletics like I I would love to jump on this and just be like hi Carbs kill don't do it, you know, but trying to maintain some Steeping in some, you know scientific rigor in the whole thing It's common It when you look in the literature You know like a electrical disturbances of the heart that lead to death in professional athletes We had a rash of that and NBA basketball a number of years ago and it was completely unrelated to diet Or I would say largely unrelated to diet and there were some genetic factors That then were selected for because of the stress of the training that they were undergoing So I would be disinclined to really hang much of that on diet personally And maybe we have a cardiologist in here that would come in But we do know there's some preliminary research indicating that high-carb particularly on Carbo loading has been associated with electrical disturbance atrial fibrillation. Okay, and so carb loading can cause problems And So, you know what I asked is what caused a heart attack was it a clot or was it electrical disturbance? No, no, no, no black arteries it was a heart So it's an electrical Yeah, I mean I've I've for a while I kept a registry of all my friends in the endurance community who had either died or had a Defibrillator or had a heart transplant and I stopped counting when it was 50 and Art DeVaney does the same thing and we look at all of these Otherwise healthy athletes that dropped dead and I know cardiologists in LA who specialize in athletes and who say there's there's a Pandemic an epidemic of a fib in endurance athletes because of the thickening of the of the Wall of Hypertrophy, yeah hypertrophy, which which if you look at what chronic cardio does it's the heart is not it's a demand-based organ You know it doesn't say I got a stop your brain tells your body to move and the heart goes All right, I got to go along for the ride so you can override this and cause the heart to have to go to work too hard And then ironically we feed it with with sugars and carbohydrates because that's what we're told the heart You know needs to to to work and over time. I think we're we see some problems So I probably I would I would suspect that there is a dietary component in elite endurance athletes as to why they're having a lot of these problems Yeah, I would just not discount the Physical activity as the as a big factor in that but yeah hundred miles a week are running Yeah, and I think we're out of time, right? Yeah. Yeah. Thank you everybody. Yeah


sometimes I hate being right and while I wasn't going to make a video about this today I realized by the time if I wait till tomorrow to do this I'm behind the ball and I'm doing the viewers of this channel a disservice Walmart is canceling all of the Super Nintendo Classic Edition pre-orders all of them not a single one's gonna be kept so if you have one and you haven't received the email from one with the cancellation yet don't worry sometimes this week you're going to get the email in fact here is what it says here's the email you will receive it says thank you for your interest in the Super Nintendo Entertainment System Classic Edition as you are aware this is a highly sought-after console that will launch later this fall unfortunately due to a technical glitch the Super Nintendo Classic Edition was mistakenly made available last Friday evening ahead of the official release date we regrettably will have to cancel this item on your order we know that this is incredibly disappointing to you and we're truly sorry for this mistake in regards to the cancellation of this item if you pay my credit card your card has not been charged any authorization holds placed on your account will automatically expire in accordance with the card issuers policy if you paid through PayPal or with a gift card your payment will be refunded when the order is canceled the official launch date for this item is 929 please check the product page on walmer.com prior to the date for any updates I do hope that you'll give us another chance to earn back your business and these are being sent out in mass we I've seen reports coming from hundreds of different people at this point about the cancellation so this is definitely not like a one-off or this isn't like the initial cancellations that went out before where you thought all people you know they didn't have the right financial information or they were ordering more than one of them and you're only allowed to or for whatever people were doing there were some explainable reasons why some people's pre-orders didn't get canceled before what other people's did and Walmart this whole time was likely behind the scenes trying to figure out what they could do with the pre-orders that went through right the ones that seemed legit and they were maybe thinking well maybe we jumped the gun with the pre-orders there was a technical glitch but maybe we can still honor these pre-orders and Walmart right now probably doesn't even know how many copies of the SNES classic edition they're even going to have let alone you know if there is a date for pre-orders to go out in the first place because normally what a company does like Nintendo is they make all of the retail outlets that are going to sell an item kind of you know hold themselves to a specific street date for when they're going to have these games be available for pre-order this just like they hold all these retailers accountable for a street date for when they can actually sell the unit to people in the stores so you know retailers this is why you usually don't see retailers jumping the gun with pre-orders unless you know then you know Nintendo or the company in question has given them permission to do so in the first place you know sometimes GameStop will hold down pre-orders for a game two years ahead of time but that's because the company allows GameStop to do that and any retailer would be able to do that but when it comes to hardware generally there is a date that everyone can make it available for pre-order and that date obviously has not arrived or it might not be arriving at all maybe the SNES classic edition won't even have pre-orders in the first place we don't know but what is clear here is that as Walmart admitted this was a technical glitch this wasn't supposed to happen last Friday the system was not supposed to be available for order and the fact that they didn't cancel all of the units right away and only canceled the ones that had issues with credit cards or you know ordered too many of them it was one of those things where I think Walmart behind the scenes was like man we screwed up we don't want to cancel all these orders and upset a bunch of people maybe there's a way that we can fulfill them but you know after probably checking guidelines and maybe even getting on the phone with Nintendo to try to see how you know they can get at least give an estimate on how many units they're gonna have for pre-order they realized no we this sucks but we have to do it you know as the last line in the email it will tell you I do hope you'll give us another chance to earn back your business this tells me that Walmart knows that this was a massive mistake and they I mean they admit in the email that we know this is going to upset you the Walmart knows that they screwed up this was a massive screw up that's going to upset hundreds if not thousands of people because who knows how long you know for all we know when this pre-order went up there wasn't any limits on it you know they might have allowed 500,000 people pre-ordered the thing for all we know until Walmart caught on what was happening and then shut it down so we don't know you know if there was an internal system limit if the thing just got pre-ordered in that crazy and then eventually so our Walmart noticed a spike in these pre-orders on this on this item and they're like what's going on oh this item that needs to be available someone hit a wrong button somewhere you know they might call it technical glitch it could it could have literally been a glitch it could have been somebody inside hit a wrong button whatever the case may be this is obviously upsetting and I hate you know there's a lot of people not a lot of people I guess you know we only had a couple thousand views of the initial report on this but there was enough people in that video kind of putting me down about jumping the gun because you know I kind of stated that I thought this might happen and here we are today and it happened Walmart's canceling all of them and I'm I don't want to be right on this this sucks this really really sucks and I know it's all Walmart's fault there's no one else to blame but Walmart but I'm sorry anyone who thought they finally for this time you know if they could get the NES classic the SNES classic they felt secure in their order especially since you know it wasn't part of the initial cancellation wave but yeah it looks like it's happening folks it's getting cancelled everyone's gonna lose it and we'll just have to stay tuned for any future pre-order information and you know what sucks is that if there is a street day for pre-orders what I heard Nintendo to announce that you could pre-order the system on this day so we know to be ready just a thought I mean but anyways that's all I got to say folks I'm sorry for those of you this effects doesn't affect me but it could have because I had I did think about pre-order it during that time I'm obviously in hindsight glad I didn't but oh it continues to be a really frustrating experience with these classic addition systems doesn't it folks anyways I am Nathaniel Rufflejans from Nintendo Prime if you like this video you know what to do if you dislike the video hit that dislike button otherwise folks I will catch you in the next one


John chapter 5 The Healing at the Pool Sometime later Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. Now there is in Jerusalem near the sheep gate a pool which in our make is called Bethesda in which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie, the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for 38 years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time he asked him, do you want to get well? Sir, the invalid replied, I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in someone else goes down ahead of me. Then Jesus said to him, get up, pick up your mat and walk. At once the man was cured, he picked up his mat and walked. The day on which this took place was a Sabbath and so the Jewish leaders said to the man who had been healed, it is a Sabbath the law forbids you to carry your mat. But he replied, the man who made me well said to me pick up your mat and walk.  The man who was healed had no idea who it was for Jesus had slipped away into the crowd that was there. Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, see you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you. The man went away and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who made him get well. So because Jesus was doing these things on the Sabbath, the Jewish leaders began to persecute him. In his defense Jesus said to them, my father is always at his work to this very day and I too am working. For this reason they tried all the more to kill him. Not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own father making himself equal with God. Jesus gave them this answer. Very truly I tell you, the son can do nothing by himself. He can do only what he sees his father doing because whatever the father does, the son also does. For the father loves the son and shows him all he does. Yes, and he will show him even greater works than these. So that you will be amazed for just as the father raises the dad and gives them life, even so the son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it. Moreover the father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the son, but all may honor the son just as they honor the father. Whoever does not honor the son does not honor the father who sent him.   For as the father has life in himself, so he has granted the son also to have life in himself. And he has given him authority to judge because he is the son of man. Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice and come out.  By myself I can do nothing, I judge only as I hear and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me. If I testify about myself, my testimony is not true. There is another who testifies in my favor and I know that his testimony about me is true. You have sent to John and he has testified to the truth. Not that I accept human testimony but I mention it that you may be saved. John was a lamp that burned and gave light and you chose for a time to enjoy his light. I have a testimony way tear than that of John. For the works that the father has given me to finish, the very works that I am doing testify that the father has sent me and the father who sent me has himself testified concerning me. You have never heard his voice nor seen his form. These are the very scriptures that testify about me.  I do not accept glory from human beings but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts. I have come in my father's name and you do not accept me but if someone else comes in his own name you will accept him. How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? But do not think I will accuse you before the father.  If you believed Moses you would believe me for he wrote about me but since you do not believe what he wrote how are you going to believe what I say?