chapters 52 through 54 of Mike this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Mike a public school story by PG Woodhouse chapter 52 on the trail again the most massive mines are apt to forget things at times the most adroit plotters make their little mistakes Smith was no exception to the rule he made the mistake of not telling Mike of the afternoon's happenings it was not altogether forgetfulness Smith was one of those people who liked to carry through their operations entirely by themselves where there is only one in a secret the secret is more liable to remain unrevealed there was nothing he thought to be gained from telling Mike he forgot what the consequences might be if he did not so Smith kept his own counsel with the result that Mike went over to school on the Monday morning in pumps Edmund someone from the hinterland of the house to give his opinion why only one of Mike's boots was to be found had no views on the subject he seemed to look at it as one of those things which no fellow can understand here's one of them Mr. Jackson he said as if he hoped that Mike might be satisfied with the compromise one what's the good of that Edmund you chump I can't go over to school in one boot Edmund turned this over in his mind and then said no sir as much as to say I may have lost the boot but thank goodness I can still understand sound reasoning well what am I to do where is the other boot don't know Mr. Jackson replied Edmund to both questions well I mean oh dash it there's the bell and Mike sprinted off in the pumps he stood in it is only a deviation from those ordinary rules of school life which one observes naturally and without thinking that enables one to realize how strong public school prejudices really are at a school for instance where the regulations say that coats only of black or dark blue are to be worn a boy who appears one day and even the most respectable and unastentatious brown finds himself looked on with a mixture of awe and repulsion which would be excessive if he had sandbag the headmaster so in the case of boots school rules decree that a boy shall go to his form room in boots there is no real reason why if the day is fine he should not wear shoes should he prefer them but if he does the thing creates a perfect sensation boys say great Scott what have you got on masters say don't what are you wearing on your feet in the few minutes which elapsed between the assembling of the form for call over and the arrival of the form master some wag is sure either to stamp on the shoes accompanying the act with some satirical remark or else to pull one of them off and inaugurate an impromptu game of football with it there was once a boy who went to school one morning and elastic sided boots Mike had always been coldly distant in his relations to the rest of his form looking on them with a few exceptions as worms and the form since his innings against downings on the Friday had regarded Mike with respect so that he escaped the ragging he would have had to undergo at ricken in similar circumstances it was only Mr. Downing who gave trouble there is a sort of instinct which enables some masters to tell when a boy in their form is wearing shoes instead of boots just as people who dislike cats always know when one is in a room with them they cannot see it but they feel it in their bones Mr. Downing was perhaps the most bigoted anti-shoest in the whole list of English school masters he waged war remorselessly against shoes satire abuse lines detention every weapon was employed by him in dealing with their wearers it had been the late Dunsters practice always to go over to school in shoes when as he usually did he felt shaky in the morning's lesson Mr. Downing always detected him in the first five minutes and that meant a lecture of anything from 10 minutes to a quarter of an hour on untidy habits and boys who looked like loafers which broke the back of the morning's work nicely on one occasion when a particularly tricky bit of livy was on the bill of fare Dunster had entered the form room in heelless Turkish bath slippers of a vivid crimson and the subsequent proceedings including his journey over to the house to change the heelless atrocities had seen him through very nearly to the quarter to 11 interval Mike accordingly had not been in his place for three minutes when Mr. Downing stiffening like a pointer called his name yes sir said Mike what are you wearing on your feet Jackson pumps sir you are wearing pumps are you not aware that pumps are not the proper things to come to school in why are you wearing pumps the form leaning back against the next row of desks settled itself comfortably for the address from the throne I have lost one of my boots sir a kind of gulp escaped from Mr. Downing's lips he stared at Mike for a moment in silence then turning to stone he told him to start translating stone who had been expecting at least 10 minutes respite was taken unawares when he found the place in his book and began to construe he floundered hopelessly but to his growing surprise and satisfaction the form master appeared to notice nothing wrong he said yes yes mechanically and finally that will do where upon stone resumed his seat with a feeling that the age of miracles had returned Mr. Downing's mind was in a world his case was complete Mike's appearance in shoes with the explanation that he had lost a boot completed the chain as Columbus must have felt when his ship ran into harbor and the first American interviewer jumping on board said wall sir and what are your impressions of our glorious country so did Mr. Downing feel at that moment when the bell rang at a quarter to 11 he gathered up his gown and sped to the headmaster chapter 53 the kettle method it was during the interval that day that stone and Robinson discussing the subject of cricket over a bun and ginger beer at the school shop came to a momentous decision to wit that they were fed up with a dare administration and meant to strike the immediate cause of revolt was early morning fielding practice that searching test of cricket keenness Mike himself to whom cricket was the great and serious interest of life had shirked early morning fielding practice in his first term at Rickon and stone and Robinson had but a lukewarm attachment to the game compared with Mike's as a rule Adair had contented himself with practice in the afternoon after school which nobody objects to and no strain consequently had been put upon stones and Robinson's allegiance and view of the MCC match on the Wednesday however he had now added to this an extra dose to be taken before breakfast stone and Robinson had left their comfortable beds that day at six o'clock yawning and heavy-eyed and had caught catches and fielded drives which in the cool morning air had stung like adders and bitten like serpents until the sun has really got to work it is no joke taking a high catch stones dislike of the experiment was only equaled by Robinson's they were neither of them of the type which likes to undergo hardships for the common good they played well enough when on the field but neither cared greatly whether the school had a good season or not they played the game entirely for their own sakes the result was that they went back to the house for breakfast with a never again feeling and at the earliest possible moment met to debate as to what was to be done about it at all costs and other experience like today's must be avoided it's all rot said stone what on earth's the good of sweating about before breakfast it only makes you tired i shouldn't wonder said Robinson if it wasn't bad for the heart rushing about on an empty stomach i mean and all that sort of thing personally said stone gnawing his bun i don't intend to stick it nor do i i mean it's such absolute rot if we aren't good enough to play for the team without having to get up overnight to catch catches he'd better find somebody else yes at this moment adair came into the shop fielding practice again tomorrow he said briskly at six before breakfast said Robinson rather you two must buck up you know you were rotten today and he passed on leaving the two male contents speechless stone was the first to recover i'm hanged if i turn out tomorrow he said as they left the shop he can do what he likes about it besides what can he do after all only kick us out of the team and i don't mind that nor do i i don't think he will kick us out either he can't play the mcc with a scratch team if he does we'll go and play for that village jackson plays for we'll get jackson to shove us into the team all right said robinson lets their position was a strong one a cricket captain may seem to be an autocrat of tremendous power but in reality he has only one weapon the keenness of those under him with the majority of course the fear of being excluded or ejected from a team is a spur that drives the majority consequently are easily handled but when a cricket captain runs up against a boy who does not much care whether he plays for the team or not then he finds himself in a difficult position and unless he is a man of action practically helpless stone and robinson felt secure taking it all around they felt that they would just assume play for lower borlock as for the school the bowling of the opposition would be weaker in the former case and the chance of making runs greater to a certain type of cricketer runs or runs wherever and however made the result of all this was that adair turning out with the team next morning for fielding practice found himself too short barns was among those present but of the other two representatives of outwoods house there were no signs barns questioned on the subject had no information to give beyond the fact that he had not seen them about anywhere which was not a great help adair proceeded with the fielding practice without further delay at breakfast that morning he was silent and apparently wrapped in thought mr. downing who sat at the top of the table with the dare on his right was accustomed at the morning meals to blend nourishment of the body with that of the mind as a rule he had ten minutes with the daily paper before the bell rang and it was his practice to hand on the results of his reading to adair and the other house prefects who not having seen the paper usually formed an interested and appreciative audience today however though the house prefects expressed varying degrees of excitement at the news that tildesley had made a century against cluster share and that a butter famine was expected in the united states these world-shaking news items seemed to leave adair cold he champed his bread and marmalade with an abstracted air he was wondering what to do in this matter of stone and robinson many captains might have passed the thing over to take it for granted that the missing pair had overslept themselves would have been a safe and convenient way out of the difficulty but adair was not the sort of person who seeks for safe and convenient ways out of difficulties he never shirked anything physical or moral he resolved to interview the absentees it was not until after school that an opportunity offered itself he went across to outwoods and found the two non-starters in the senior day room engaged in the intellectual pursuit of kicking the wall and marking the height of each kick with chalk adair's entrance coincided with a record effort by stone which caused the kicker to overbalance and stagger backwards against the captain sorry said stone hello adair don't mention it why weren't you too at fielding practice this morning robinson who left the lead to stone in all matters said nothing stone spoke we didn't turn up he said i know you didn't why not stone had rehearsed this scene in his mind and he spoke with the coolness which comes from rehearsal we decided not to oh yes we came to the conclusion that we hadn't any use for early morning fielding adair's manner became ominously calm you were rather fed up i suppose that's just the word sorry it bored you it didn't we didn't give it the chance to robinson laughed appreciatively what's the joke robinson asked adair there's no joke said robinson with some haste i was only thinking of something i'll give you something else to think about soon stone intervened it's no good making a row about it adair you must see that you can't do anything of course you can kick us out of the team if you like but we don't care if you do jackson will get us a game any wednesday or saturday for the village he plays for so we're all right and the school team aren't such a lot of flyers that you can afford to go chucking people out of it whenever you want to see what i mean you and jackson seem to have fixed it all up between you what are you going to do kick us out no good i thought you'd see it was no good making a beastly row we'll play for the school all right there's no earthly need for us to turn out for fielding practice before breakfast you don't think there is you may be right all the same you're going to tomorrow morning what six sharp don't be late don't be an ass adair we've told you we aren't going to that's only your opinion i think you are i'll give you till five past six as you seem to like lying in bed you can turn out if you feel like it you won't find me there that'll be a disappointment nor robinson no said the junior partner in the firm but he said it without any deep conviction the atmosphere was growing a great deal too tense for his comfort you've quite made up your minds yes said stone right said adair quietly and knocked him down he was up again in a moment adair had pushed the table back and was standing in the middle of the open space you cad said stone i wasn't ready well you are now shall we go on stone dashed in without a word and for a few moments the two might have seemed evenly matched to a not too intelligent spectator but science tells even in a confined space adair was smaller and lighter than stone but he was cooler and quicker and he knew more about the game his blow was always home a fraction of a second sooner than his opponents at the end of a minute stone was on the floor again he got up slowly and stood leaning with one hand on the table suppose we say ten past six said adair i'm not particular to a minute or two stone made no reply will ten past six suit you for fielding practice tomorrow said adair all right said stone thanks how about you robinson robinson had been a petrified spectator of the captain kettle like maneuvers of the cricket captain and it did not take him long to make up his mind he was not altogether a coward in different circumstances he might have put up a respectable show but it takes a more than ordinarily courageous person to embark on a fight which he knows must end in his destruction robinson knew that he was nothing like a match even for stone and adair had disposed of stone in a little over one minute it seemed to robinson that neither pleasure nor profit was likely to come from an encounter with the dare all right he said hastily i'll turn up good said adair i wonder if either of you chaps could tell me which is jackson's study stone was dabbing at his mouth with a handkerchief a task which precluded anything in the shape of conversation so robinson replied that mike's study was the first you came to on the right of the corridor at the top of the stairs thanks said adair you don't happen to know if he's in i suppose he went up with smith a quarter of an hour ago i don't know if he's still there i'll go and see said adair i should like a word with him if he isn't busy chapter 54 adair has a word with mike mike all unconscious of the stirring proceedings which had been going on below stairs was peacefully reading a letter he had received that morning from strashin at ricken in which the successor to the cricket captaincy which should have been mike's had a good deal to say in a lugubrious strain in mike's absence things have been going badly with ricken a broken arm contracted in the course of some rash experiments with a dayboys motor bicycle had deprived the team of the services of dunstable the only man who had shown any signs of being able to bowl a side out since this calamity wrote strashin everything had gone wrong the mcc led by mike's brother reggie the least of the three first class cricketing jacksons had smashed them by 150 runs gettington had wiped them off the face of the earth the incogs with a team recruited exclusively from the rabbit hutch not a well known man on the side except stacey a veteran who had been playing for the club since fuller pilch's time had got home by two wickets in fact it was strashin's opinion that the ricken team that summer was about the most hopeless gang of deadbeats that had ever made an exhibition of itself on the school grounds the ripped in match fortunately was off owing to an outbreak of mumps at that shrine of learning and athletics the second outbreak of the malady in two terms which said strashin was hard lines on ripton but a bit of jolly good luck for ricken as it had saved them from what would probably have been a record hammering ripton having eight of their last year's team left including dixon the fast bowler against whom mike alone of the ricken team had been able to make runs in the previous season altogether ricken had struck a bad patch mike mourned over his suffering school if only he could have been there to help it might have made all the difference in school cricket one good batsman to go in first and knock the bowlers off their length may take a weak team triumphantly through a season in school cricket the importance of a good start for the first wicket is incalculable as he put strashin's letter away in his pocket all his old bitterness against sedly which had been ebbing during the past few days returned with a rush he was conscious once more of that feeling of personal injury which had made him hate his new school on the first day of term and it was at this point when his resentment was at its height that a dare the concrete representative of everything sedlion entered the room there are moments in life's placid course when there has got to be the biggest kind of row this was one of them smith who was leaning against the mantelpiece reading the serial story in a daily paper which he had abstracted from the senior day room made the intruder free of the study with a dignified wave of the hand and went on reading mike remained in the deck chair in which he was sitting and contented himself with glaring at the newcomer smith was the first to speak if you asked my candid opinion he said looking up from his paper i should say that young lord antony trafusus was in the soup already i seem to see the consummate splashing about his ankles he's had a note telling him to be under the oak tree in the park at midnight he's just off there at the end of this installment i bet long jack the poacher is waiting there with a sandbag care to see the paper comrade adair or don't you take any interest in contemporary literature thanks adair i just wanted to speak to jackson for a minute fate said smith has led your footsteps to the right place that is comrade jackson the pride of the school sitting before you what do you want said mike he suspected that adair had come to ask him once again to play for the school the fact that the mcc match was on the following day made this a probable solution of the reason for his visit he could think of no other errand that was likely to have set the head of downings paying afternoon calls i'll tell you in a minute it won't take long that said smith approvingly is right speed is the keynote of the present age promptitude dispatch this is no time for loitering we must be strenuous we must hustle we must do it now we buck up said mike certainly said adair i've just been talking to stone and robinson an excellent way of passing an idle half hour said smith we weren't exactly idle said adair grimly it didn't last long but it was pretty lively while it did stone chucked it after the first round mike got up out of his chair he could not quite follow what all this was about but there was no mistaking the truptulence of the dares manner for some reason which might possibly be made clear later adair was looking for trouble and mike in his present mood felt that it would be a privilege to see that he got it smith was regarding a dare through his eyeglass with pain and surprise surely he said you did not mean us to understand that you have been brawling with comrade stone this is bad hearing i thought that you and he were like brothers such a bad example for comrade robinson too leave us adair we would brood oh go the nave all none of the shakespeare smith turned away and resting his elbows on the mantel piece gazed at himself mournfully in the looking glass i'm not the man i was he sighed after a prolonged inspection there are lines on my face dark circles beneath my eyes the fierce rush of life it suddenly is wasting me away stone and i had a discussion about early morning fielding practice said adair turning to mike mike said nothing i thought his fielding wanted working up a bit so i told him to turn out at six tomorrow morning he said he wouldn't so we argued it out he's going to all right so is robinson mike remained silent so are you added a dare i get thinner and thinner said smith from the mantel piece mike looked at a dare and a dare looked at mike after the manner of two dogs before they fly at one another there was an electric silence in the study smith peered with increased earnestness into the glass oh said mike at last what makes you think that i don't think i know any special reason for my turning out yes what's that you're going to play for the school against the mcc tomorrow and i want you to get some practice i wonder how you got that idea curious i should have done isn't it very you aren't building on it much are you said mike politely i am rather reply to dare with equal courtesy i'm afraid you'll be disappointed i don't think so my eyes said smith regretfully are a bit close together however he added philosophically it's too late to alter that now mike drew a step closer to a dare what makes you think i should play against the mcc he asked curiously i'm going to make you mike took another step forward a dare moved to meet him would you care to try now said mike for just one second the two drew themselves together preparatory to beginning the serious business of the interview and in that second smith turning from the glass stepped between them get out of the light smith said mike smith waved him back with a deprecating gesture my dear young friends he said classedly if you will let your angry passions rise against the direct advice of dr watts i suppose you must but when you propose to claw each other in my study in the midst of a hundred fragile and priceless ornaments i lodge a protest if you really feel that you want to scrap for goodness sake do it where there's some room i don't want all the study furniture smashed i know a bank where on the wild time grows only a few yards down the road where you can scrap all night if you want to how would it be to move on there any objections none then shift hoe and let's get it over end of section 19 chapters 55 through 57 of mike this is a liberal box recording all liberal box recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit liberal box dot org mike a public school story by pg woodhouse chapter 55 clearing the air smith was one of those people who lend a dignity to everything they touch under his auspices the most unpromising ventures became somehow enveloped in an atmosphere of measured statelyness on the present occasion what would have been without his guiding hand a mere unscientific scramble took on something of the impressive formality of the national sporting club the rounds he said producing a watch as they passed through a gate into a field a couple of hundred yards from the house gate will be of three minutes duration with a minute rest in between a man who is down will have ten seconds in which to rise are you ready comrades adair and jackson very well then time after which it was a pity that the actual fight did not quite live up to its referees introduction dramatically there should have been cautious sparring for openings and a number of tensely contested rounds as if it had been the final of a boxing competition but school fights when they do occur which is only once in a decade nowadays unless you count junior school scuffles are the outcome of weeks of suppressed bad blood and are consequently brief and furious in a boxing competition however much one may want to win one does not dislike one's opponent up to the moment when time was called one was probably warmly attached to him and at the end of the last round one expects to resume that attitude of mine in a fight each party as a rule hates the other so it happened that there was nothing formal or cautious about the present battle all adair wanted was to get it mike and all mike wanted was to get it adair directly smith called time they rushed together as if they meant to end the thing in half a minute it was this that saved mike in an ordinary contest with the gloves with his opponent cool and boxing in his true form he could not have lasted three rounds against the dare the latter was a clever boxer while mike had never had a lesson in his life if adair had kept away and used his head nothing could have prevented him winning as it was however he threw away his advantages much as tom brown did at the beginning of his fight with slogger williams and the result was the same as on that historic occasion mike had the greater strength and 30 seconds from the start knocked his man clean off his feet with an unscientific but powerful right-hander this finished adair's chances he rose full of fight but with all the science knocked out of him he went in it mike with both hands the irish blood in him which for the ordinary events of life made him merely energetic and dashing now rendered him reckless he abandoned all attempted guarding it was the frontal attack in its most futile form and as unsuccessful as a frontal attack is apt to be there was a swift exchange of blows in the course of which mike's left elbow coming into contact with his opponent's right fist got a shock which kept it tingling for the rest of the day and then adair went down in a heap he got up slowly and with difficulty for a moment he stood blinking vaguely then he lurched forward at mike in the excitement of a fight which is after all about the most exciting thing that ever happens to one in the course of one's life it is difficult for the fighters to see what the spectators see where the spectators see an assault on an already beaten man the fighter himself only sees a legitimate piece of self-defense against an opponent whose chances are equal to his own smith saw as anybody looking on would have seen that adair was done mike's blow had taken him within a fraction of an inch of the point of the jaw and he was all but knocked out mike could not see this all he understood was that his man was on his feet again and coming at him so he hid out with all his strength and this time adair went down and stayed down brief said smith coming forward but exciting we may take that i think to be the conclusion of the entertainment i will now have a dash at picking up the slain i shouldn't stop if i were you he'll be sitting up and taking notice soon and if he sees you he may want to go on with the combat which would do him no earthly good if it's going to be continued in our next there had better be a bit of an interval for alterations and repairs first is he hurt much do you think asked mike he had seen knockouts before in the ring but this was the first time he had ever affected one on his own account and adair looked unpleasantly corpse like he's all right since smith in a minute or two he'll be skipping about like a little lambkin i'll look after him you go away and pick flowers mike put on his coat and walked back to the house he was conscious of a perplexing whirl of new and strange emotions chief among which was a curious feeling that he rather liked adair he found himself thinking that adair was a good chap that there was something to be said for his point of view and that it was a pity he had knocked him about so much at the same time he felt an undeniable thrill of pride at having beaten him the feet presented that interesting person mike jackson to him in a fresh and pleasing light as one who had had a tough job to face and had carried it through jackson the cricketer he knew but jackson the deliverer of knockout blows was strange to him and he found this new acquaintance a man to be respected the fight in fact had the result which most fights have if they are fought fairly and until one side is had enough it revolutionized mike's view of things it shook him up and drained the bad blood out of him where before he had seemed to himself to be acting with massive dignity he now saw that he had simply been sulking like some wretched kid there had appeared to him something rather fine in his policy of refusing to identify himself in any way with sadly a touch of the stone walls do not a prison make sort of thing he now saw that his attitude was to be summed up in the words shant play it came upon mike with painful clearness that he had been making an ass of himself he had come to this conclusion after much earnest thought when smith entered the study how's the dare asked might sitting up and taking nourishment once more we have been chatting he's not a bad cove he's all right said might there was a pause smith straightened his tie look here he said I seldom interfere in terrestrial strife but it seems to me that there's an opening here for a capable peacemaker not afraid of work and willing to give his services in exchange for a comfortable home comraders rather a stoutish fellow in his way I'm not much on the play up for the old school jones game but everyone to his taste I shouldn't have thought anybody would get overwhelmingly attached to this boat of wrath but comraders seems to have done it he's all forgiving sadly a much needed boost up it's not a bad idea in its way I don't see why one shouldn't humor him apparently he's been sweating since early childhood to buck the school up and as he's leaving at the end of the term it might be a scaly scheme to give him a bit of a send off if possible by making the cricket season a bit of a banger as a start why not drop him a line to say that you'll play against the MCC tomorrow Mike did not reply at once he was feeling better disposed towards a dare and sadly than he had felt but he was not sure that he was quite prepared to go as far as a complete climb down it wouldn't be a bad idea continued smith there's nothing like giving a man a bit in every now and then it broadens the soul and improves the action of the skin what seems to have fed up comrade a dare to a certain extent is that stone apparently led him to understand that you had offered to give him and robinson places in your village team you didn't of course of course not said mike indignantly i told him he didn't know the old no bless a bleach spirit of the jacksons i said that you would scorn to tarnish the jackson escutcheon by not playing the game my eloquence convinced him however to return to the point under discussion why not i don't what i mean to say began mike if your trouble is said smith that you fear that you may be an unworthy company don't be an ass dismiss it i am playing mike scared you're what you i said smith breathing on a coat button and polishing it with his handkerchief can you play cricket you have discovered said smith my secret sorrow you're rotting you wrong me comrade jackson then why haven't you played why haven't you why didn't you come and play for lower borlock i mean the last time i played in a village cricket match i was caught at point by a man in braces it would have been madness to risk another such shock to my system my nerves are so exquisitely balanced that a thing of that sort takes years off my life no but look here smith bar rotting are you really any good at cricket competent judges at eaton gave me to understand so i was told that this year i should be a certainty for lords but when the cricket season came where was i gone gone like some beautiful flower that withers in the night but you told me you didn't like cricket you said you only liked watching it quite right i do but at schools where cricket is compulsory you have to overcome your private prejudices and in time the thing becomes a habit imagine my feelings when i found that i was degenerating little by little into a slow left hand boulder with a swerve i fought against it but it was useless and after a while i gave up the struggle and drifted with the stream last year in a house match smith's voice took on a deeper tone of melancholy i took seven for 13 and the second innings on a hard wicked i did think when i came here that i had found a haven of rest but it was not to be i turn out tomorrow what comrade outwood will say when he finds that his keenest archaeological disciple has deserted i hate to think however mike felt as if a young and powerful earthquake had passed the whole face of his world had undergone a quick change here was he the recalcitrant wavering on the point of playing for the school and here was smith the last person whom he would have expected to be a player stating calmly that he had been in the running for a place in the eaton eleven then in a flash mike understood he was not by nature intuitive but he read smith's mind now since the term began he and smith had been acting on precisely similar motives just as he had been disappointed of the captaincy of cricket at ricken so had smith been disappointed of his place in the eaton team at lord's and they had both worked it off each in his own way mike sullenly smith whimsically according to their respective natures on sedly if smith therefore did not consider it too much of a climb down to renounce his resolution not to play for sedly there was nothing to stop mike doing so as at the bottom of his heart he wanted to do by jove he said if you're playing i'll play i'll write a note to a dare now but i say he stopped i'm hanged if i'm going to turn out in field before breakfast tomorrow that's all right you won't have to a dare won't be there himself he's not playing against the mcc he sprained his wrist chapter 56 in which piece is declared sprained his wrist said mike how did he do that during the brawl apparently one of his efforts got home on your elbow instead of your expressive countenance and whether it was that your elbow was particularly tough or his wrist particularly fragile i don't know anyhow it went it's nothing bad but it'll keep him out of the game tomorrow i say what beastly rough luck i'd no idea i'll go around not a bad scheme close the door gently after you and if you see anybody downstairs who looks as if you were likely to be going over to the shop ask him to get me a small pot of some rare old jam and tell the man to chalk it up to me the jam comrade outward supplies to us at t is all right as a practical joke or as a food for those anxious to commit suicide but useless to anybody who values life on arriving at mr. downings and going to a dares study mike found that his late antagonist was out he left a note informing him of his willingness to play in the morrow's match the lock up bell rang as he went out of the house a spot of rain fell on his hand a moment later there was a continuous pattern as the storm which had been gathering all day broke in earnest mike turned up his coat collar and ran back to outwards at this rate he said to himself there won't be a match at all tomorrow when the weather decides after behaving well for some weeks to show what it can do in another direction it does the thing thoroughly when mike woke the next morning the world was gray and dripping leaden colored clouds drifted over the sky till there was not a trace of blue to be seen and then the rain began again and the gentle determined way rain has when it means to make a day of it it was one of those bad days when one sits in the pavilion damp and depressed while figures and macintoshes with discolored buckskin boots crawl miserably about the field in couples mike shuffling across the school in a burberry met a dare at downing's gate these moments are always difficult mike stopped he could hardly walk on as if nothing had happened and looked down at his feet coming across he said awkwardly right hole said a dare they walked on in silence it's only about ten two isn't it said mike a dare fished out his watch and examined it with an elaborate care born of nervousness about nine two good we've got plenty of time yes i hate having to hurry over to school so do i i often do cut it rather fine though yes so do i beastly nuisance when one does beastly it's only about a couple of minutes from the houses to the school i should think shouldn't you not much more might be three yes three if one didn't hurry oh yes if one didn't hurry another silence beastly day said a dare rotten silence again it say said mike scowling at his toes awfully sorry about your wrist oh that's all right it was my fault does it hurt oh no rather not thanks i don't idea you'd cracked yourself oh no that's all right it was only right at the end you'd have smashed me anyhow oh right i bet you anything you like you would i bet you i shouldn't jolly hard luck just before the match oh no i say thanks awfully for saying you'd play oh right do you think we shall get a game a dare inspected the sky carefully i don't know it looks pretty bad doesn't it rotten i say how long will your wrist keep you out of cricket be all right in a week less probably good now that you and smith are going to play we ought to have a jolly good season rummy smith's turning out to be a cricketer yes i should think he'd be a hot bowler with his height he must be jolly good if he was only just out of the eating team last year yes what's the time asked mike a dare produced his watch once more five two we've heaps of time yes heaps let's stroll on a bit down the road shall we right hoe Mike cleared his throat i say hello i've been talking to smith he was telling me that you thought i'd promised to give stone and robinson places in the oh no that's all right it was only for a bit smith told me you couldn't have done and i saw that i was an ass to think you could have it was stone seeming so dead certain that he could play for lower borlock if i chucked him from the school team that gave me the idea he never even asked me to get him a place no i know of course i wouldn't have done it even if he had of course not i didn't want to play myself but i wasn't going to do a rotten trick like getting other felons away from the team no i know it was rotten enough really not playing myself oh no beastly rough luck having to leave ricken just when you were going to be captain and come to a small school like this the excitement of the past few days must have had a stimulating effect on mike's mind shaking it up as it were for now for the second time in two days he displayed quite a creditable amount of intuition he might have been misled by adair's apparently deprecatory attitude towards sedly and blundered into a denunciation of the place adair had said a small school like this in the sort of voice which might have led his here to think that he was expected to say yes rotten little hole isn't it or words to that effect mike fortunately perceived that the words were used purely from politeness on the chinese principle when a chinese man wishes to pay a compliment he does so by belittling himself and his belongings he eluded the pitfall what rot he said sedly is one of the most sporting schools i've ever come across everybody's as keen as blazes so they ought to be after the way you've sweated adair shuffled awkwardly i've always been fairly keen on the place he said but i don't suppose i've done anything much you've loosened one of my front teeth said mike with a grin if that's any comfort to you i couldn't eat anything except porridge this morning my jaw still aches for the first time during the conversation their eyes met and the humorous side of the thing struck them simultaneously they began to laugh what fools we must have looked said adair you were all right i must have looked rotten i've never had the gloves on in my life i'm jolly glad no one saw us except smith who doesn't count hello there's the bell we'd better be moving on what about this match not much chance of it from the look of the sky at present it might clear before 11 you'd better get changed anyhow with the interval and hang about in case all right it's better than doing facilities with downing we've got math till the interval so i don't see anything of him all day which won't hurt me he isn't a bad sort of chap when you get to know him said adair i can't have done then i don't know which i'd least soon be downing or a black beetle except that if one was downing one could tread on the black beetle dash this rain i got about half a pint down my neck just then we shan't get a game today or anything like it as you're crocked i'm not sure that i care much you've been sweating for years to get the match on and it would be rather rot playing it without you i don't know that so much i wish we could play because i'm certain with you and smith we'd walk into them they probably aren't sending down much of a team and really now that you and smith are turning out we've got a jolly hot lot there's quite decent batting all the way through and the bowling isn't so bad if only we could have given this mcc lot a really good hammering it might have been easier to get some good fixtures for next season you see it's all right for a school like ricken but with a small place like this you simply can't get the best teams to give you a match till you've done something to show that you aren't absolute rotters at the game as for the schools they're worse they'd simply laugh at you you were cricket secretary at ricken last year what would you have done if you'd had a challenge from sedley you'd either have laughed till you were sick or else had a fit at the mere idea of the thing mike stopped by jove you've stuck about the brightest scheme on record i never thought of it before let's get a match on with ricken what they wouldn't play us yes they would at least i'm pretty sure they would i had a letter from strasson the captain yesterday saying that the ripton match had to be scratched going to illness so they've got a vacant date shall i try them a right to strasson tonight if you like and they aren't strong this year we'll smash them what do you say a dare was as one who has seen a vision by jove you said it last if we only could chapter 57 mr. downing moves the rain continued without a break all the morning the two teams after hanging about dismalie and whiling the time away with stump cricket in the changing rooms lunched in the pavilion at one o'clock after which the mcc captain approaching a dare moved that this merry meeting be considered off and himself and his men permitted to catch the next train back to town to which a dare seeing that it was out of the question that there should be any cricket that afternoon regretfully agreed and the first sedley versus mcc match was accordingly scratched mike and smith wandering back to the house were met by a damp junior from downings with a message that mr. downing wished to see mike as soon as he was changed what's he want me for inquired might the messenger did not know mr. downing it seemed had not confided in him all he knew was that the house master was in the house and would be glad if mike would step across nuisance said smith this incessant demand for you that's the worst of being popular if he wants you to stop to t edge away a meal on rather assumptions scale will be prepared in the study against your return mike changed quickly and went off leaving smith who was fond of simple pleasures in his spare time earnestly occupied with a puzzle which had been scattered through the land by a weekly paper the prize for a solution was one thousand pounds and smith had already informed mike with some minuteness of his plans for the disposition of this sum meanwhile he worked at it both in and out of school generally with abusive comments on its inventor he was still fiddling away at it when mike returned mike though smith was at first too absorbed to notice it was agitated i don't wish to be in any way harsh said smith without looking up the man who invented this thing was a blighter of the worst type you come and have a shot for the moment i am baffled the whisper flies around the clubs smith is baffled the man's an absolute driveling ass said mike warmly me do you mean what on earth would be the point of my doing it you'd gather in a thousand of the best give you a nice start in life i'm not talking about your rotten puzzle what are you talking about that asked downing i believe he's off his nut then your chat with comrade downing was not of the old college chums meeting unexpectedly after years separation type what has he been doing to you he's off his nut i know but what did he do how did the brainstorm burst did he jump at you from behind the door and bite a piece out of your leg or did he say he was a teapot mike sat down you remember that painting sammy business as if it were yesterday said smith which it was pretty nearly he thinks i did it why have you ever shown any talent in the painting line the silly ass wanted me to confess that i'd done it he is good as asked me to jawed a lot of rod about my finding it to my advantage later on if i behaved sensibly then what are you worrying about don't you know that when a master wants you to do the confessing act it simply means that he hasn't enough evidence to start in on you with you're all right the things that stand off evidence said mike my dear man he's got enough evidence to sink a ship he's absolutely sweating evidence at every pore as far as i can see he's been crawling about doing the Sherlock Holmes business for all his worth ever since the thing happened and now he's dead certain that i painted sammy did you by the way asked smith no said mike shortly i didn't but after listening to downing i almost began to wonder if i hadn't the man's got stacks of evidence to prove that i did such as what it's mostly about my boots but dash it you know all about that while you were with him when he came and looked for them it is true said smith that comrade downing and i spent a very pleasant half hour together inspecting boots but how does he drag you into it he swears one of the boots was splashed with paint yes he babbled to some extent on that point when i was entertaining him but what makes him think that the boot if any was yours he's certain that somebody in this house got one of his boots splashed and is hiding it somewhere and i'm the only chap in the house who hasn't got a pair of boots to show so he thinks it's me i don't know where the dickens my other boot is gone edmund swears he hasn't seen it and it's nowhere about of course i've got two pairs but one's being sold so i had to go over to school yesterday and pumps that's how he spotted me smith side comrade jackson he said mournfully all this very sad affair shows the folly of acting from the best motives in my simple zeal meaning to save you unpleasantness i have landed you with a dull sickening thud right in the cart are you particular about dirtying your hands if you aren't just reach up that chimney a bit mike stared what the dickens are you talking about go on get it over be a man and reach up the chimney i don't know what the game is said mike kneeling beside the fender and groping but hello aha said smith moodley mike dropped the soot covered object in the fender and glared at it it's my boot he said it last it is said smith your boot and what is that red stain across the toe is it blood no just not blood it is red paint mike seemed unable to remove his eyes from the boot how on earth did by jove i remember now i kicked up against something in the dark when i was putting my bicycle back that night it must have been the paint pot then you were out that night rather that's what makes it so jolly awkward it's too long to tell you now your stories are never too long for me said smith say on well it was like this and mike related the events which had led up to his midnight excursion smith listened attentively this he said when mike had finished confirms my frequently stated opinion that comrade jelico is one of nature's blithers so that's why he touched us for our hard earned was it yes of course there was no need for him to have the money at all and the result is that you are in something of a tight place you're absolutely certain you didn't paint that dog didn't do it by any chance in a moment of absent mindedness and forget all about it no no i suppose not i wonder who did it's beastly awkward you see downing chased me that night that was why i rang the alarm bell so you see he's certain to think that the chap he chased which was me and the chap who painted sammy are the same i shall get landed both ways smith pondered it is a tightish place he admitted i wonder if we could get this boot clean said mike inspecting it with disfavor not for a pretty considerable time i suppose not i say i am in the cart if i can't produce this boot they're bound to guess why what exactly asked smith was the position of affairs between you and comrade downing when you left him had you definitely parted brass rags or did you simply sort of drift apart with mutual courtesies oh he said i was ill advised to continue that attitude or some rot and i said i didn't care i hadn't painted his belly dog and he said very well then he must take steps and well that was about all sufficient to said smith quite sufficient i take it then that he is now on the war path collecting a gang so to speed i suppose he's gone to the old man about it probably a very worrying time our headmaster is having taking it all around in connection with this painful affair what do you think his move will be i suppose he'll send for me and try to get something out of me he'll want you to confess too masters are all wails on confession the worst of it is you can't prove an alibi because at about the time the foul act was perpetrated you were playing round and round the mulberry bush with comrade downing this needs thought you had better put the case in my hands and go out and watch the dandelions growing i will think over the matter well i hope you'll be able to think of something i can't possibly you never know there was a tap at the door see how we have trained them said smith they now knock before entering there was a time when they would have tried to smash in a panel come in a small boy carrying a straw hat adorned with the schoolhouse ribbon answered the invitation oh i say jackson he said the headmaster sent me over to tell you he wants to see you i told you so said mike to smith don't go suggested smith tell him to write mike got up all this is very trying said smith i'm seeing nothing of you today he turned to the small boy tell willy he added that mr jackson will be with him in a moment the emissary departed you're all right said smith encouragingly just you keep on saying you're all right stout denial is the thing don't go in for any area explanations simply stick to stout denial you can't beat it with which expert advice he allowed mike to go on his way he had not been gone two minutes when smith who had leaned back in his chair wrapped in thought heaved himself up again he stood for a moment straightening his tie at the looking glass then he picked up his hat and moved slowly out of the door and down the passage fence at the same dignified rate of progress out of the house and in at downing's front eight the postman was at the door when he got there apparently absorbed in conversation with the parlor maid smith stood by politely till the postman who had just been told it was like his impudence caught sight of him and having handed over the letters in an ultra formal and professional manner passed away is mr downing at home inquired smith he was it seemed smith was shown into the dining room on the left of the hall and requested to wait he was examining a portrait of mr downing which hung on the wall when the house master came in an excellent likeness sir said smith with a gesture of the hand towards the painting well smith said mr downing shortly what do you wish to see me about it was in connection with the regrettable painting of your dog sir ha said mr downing i did it sir said smith stopping and flicking a piece of fluff off his knee end of section 20 chapters 58 and 59 of mike this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox dot org might a public school story by pg woodhouse chapter 58 the artist claims his work the line of action which smith had called stout denial is an excellent line to adopt especially if you really are innocent but it does not lead to anything in the shape of a bright and snappy dialogue between accuser and accused both mike and the headmaster were oppressed by a feeling that the situation was difficult the atmosphere was heavy and conversation showed a tendency to flag the headmaster had opened brightly enough for the summary of the evidence which mr downing had laid before him but after that a massive silence had been the order of the day there was nothing in this world quite so stolid and uncommunicative as a boy who has made up his mind to be stolid and uncommunicative and the headmaster as he sat and looked at mike who sat and looked past him at the bookshelves felt awkward it was a scene which needed either a dramatic interruption or a neat exit speech as it happened what it got was the dramatic interruption the headmaster was just saying i did not think you fully realize jackson the extent to which appearances which was practically going back to the beginning and starting again when there was a knock at the door a voice without said mr downing to see you sir and the chief witness for the prosecution burst in i would not have interrupted you said mr downing but not at all mr downing is there anything i can i have discovered i have been informed in short it was not jackson who committed the who painted my dog mike and the headmaster both looked at the speaker mike with a feeling of relief for stout denial unsupported by any weighty evidence is a wearing game to play the headmaster with astonishment not jackson said the headmaster no it was a boy in the same house smith smith mike was more than surprised he could not believe it there is nothing which affords so clear an index to a boy's character as the type of rag which he considers humorous between what is a rag and what is merely a rotten trick there is a very definite line drawn masters as a rule do not realize this but boys nearly always do might could not imagine smith doing a rotten thing like covering a house master's dog with red paint any more than he could imagine doing it himself they had both been amused at the sight of sammy after the operation but anybody except possibly the owner of the dog would have thought it funny at first after the first surprise their feeling had been that it was a skuggish thing to have done and beastly rough luck on the poor brute it was a kid's trick as for smith having done it mike simply did not believe it smith said the headmaster what makes you think that simply this said mr. Downing with calm triumph that the boy himself came to me a few moments ago and confessed mike was conscious of a feeling of acute depression it did not make him in the least degree jubilant or even thankful to know that he himself was cleared of the charge all he could think of was that smith was done for this was bound to mean the sack if smith had painted sammy it meant that smith had broken out of his house at night and it was not likely that the rules about nocturnal wandering were less strict at Sedley than at any other school in the kingdom mike felt if possible worse than he had felt when Wyatt had been caught on a similar occasion it seemed as if fate had a special grudge against his best friends he did not make friends very quickly or easily though he had always had scores of acquaintances and with Wyatt and smith he had found himself at home from the first moment he had met them he sat there with a curious feeling of having swallowed a heavy weight hardly listening to what mr. Downing was saying mr. Downing was talking rapidly to the headmaster who was nodding from time to time mike took advantage of a pause to get up may i go sir he said certainly jackson certainly said the head oh and if you are going back to your house tell smith that i should like to see him yes sir he had reached the door when again there was a knock come in said the headmaster it was a dare yes a dare a dare was breathing rather heavily as if he had been running it was about sammy sampson sir he said looking at mr. Downing ah we know well adair what did you wish to say it wasn't jackson who did it sir no no adair so mr. Downing it was donester sir terrific sensation the headmaster gave a sort of strangled yelp of astonishment mr. Downing leaped in his chair mike's eyes opened to their fullest extent a dare there was almost a wail in the headmaster's voice the situation had suddenly become too much for him his brain was swimming that mike despite the evidence against him should be innocent was curious perhaps but not particularly startling but that adair should inform him two minutes after mr. Downing's announcement of smith's confession that smith too was guiltless and that the real criminal was donester it was this that made him feel that somebody in the words of an american author had played a mean trick on him and substituted for his brain a side order of cauliflower why donester of all people donester who he remembered disley had left the school at christmas and why if donester had really painted the dog had smith asserted that he himself was the culprit why why anything he concentrated his mind on a dare as the only person who could save him from impending brain fever a dare yes sir what what do you mean it was donester sir i got a letter from him only five minutes ago in which he said that he had painted sammy samson the dog sir for a rag for a joke and that is he didn't want anyone here to get into a row be punished for it i'd better tell mr. Downing at once i tried to find mr. Downing but he wasn't in the house then i met smith outside the house and he told me that mr. Downing had gone over to see you sir smith told you said mr. Downing yes sir did you say anything to him about your having received this letter from donester i gave him the letter to read sir and what was his attitude when he had read it he laughed sir left mr. Downing's voice was thunderous yes sir he rolled about mr. Downing snorted but a dare said the headmaster i do not understand how this thing could have been done by donester he has left the school he was down here for the old sedleans match sir he stopped the night in the village and that was the night that it happened yes sir i see well i am glad to find that the blame cannot be attached to any boy in the school i am sorry that it is even an old boy it was a foolish discreditable thing to have done but it is not as bad as if any boy still at the school had broken out of his house at night to do it the sergeant said mr. Downing told me that the boy he saw was attempting to enter mr. outwards house another freak of donesters i suppose said the headmaster i shall write to him if it was really donester painted my dog to mr. Downing i cannot understand the part played by smith in this affair if he did not do it what possible motive could he have had for coming to me of his own accord and deliberately confessing to be sure said the headmaster pressing a bell it is certainly a thing that calls for explanation barlow he said as the butler appeared kindly go across to mr. outwards house and inform smith that i should like to see him if you please sir mr. smith is waiting in the hall in the hall yes sir he arrived soon after mr. adair sir saying that he would wait as you would probably wish to see him shortly hmm ask him to step up barlow yes sir there followed one of the tensest stage weights of mike's experience it was not long but while it lasted the silence was quite solid nobody seemed to have anything to say and there was not even a clock in the room to break the stillness with its ticking a very faint drip drip of rain could be heard outside the window presently there was a sound of footsteps on the stairs the door was opened mr. smith sir the old etonian entered as would the guest of the evening who was a few moments late for dinner he was cheerful but slightly deprecating he gave the impression of one who though sure of his welcome feels that some slight apology is expected from him he advanced into the room with a gentle half smile which suggested goodwill to all men it is still raining he observed you wish to see me sir sit down smith thank you sir he dropped into a deep armchair which both adair and mike had avoided in favor of less luxurious seats with a confidential coziness of a fashionable physician calling on a patient between whom and himself time has broken down the barriers of restraint and formality mr. downing burst out like a reservoir that has broken its banks smith smith turned his gaze politely in the house master's direction smith you came to me a quarter of an hour ago and told me that it was you who had painted my dog samson yes sir it was absolutely untrue i'm afraid so sir but smith began the headmaster smith meant forward encouragingly this is a most extraordinary affair have you no explanation to offer what induced you to do such a thing smith sighed softly the craze for notoriety sir he replied sadly the curse of the present age what cried the headmaster it is remarkable proceeded smith placidly with the impersonal touch of one lecturing on generalities how frequently when a murder has been committed one finds men confessing that they have done it when it is out of the question that they should have committed it it is one of the most interesting problems with which anthropologists are confronted human nature the headmaster interrupted smith he said i should like to see you alone for a moment mr. downing might i trouble dare jackson he made a motion towards the door when he and smith were alone there was silence smith leaned back comfortably in his chair the headmaster tapped nervously with his foot on the floor or smith sir the headmaster seemed to have some difficulty in proceeding he paused again then he went on or smith i do not for a moment wish to pain you but have you or do you remember ever having had as a child let us say any or severe illness any or mental illness no sir there is no forgive me if i am touching on a sad subject there is no none of your near relatives have ever suffered in the way i have described there isn't a lunatic on the list sir said smith cheerfully of course smith of course said the headmaster hurriedly i did not mean to suggest quite so quite so you think then that you confess to an act which you had not committed purely from some sudden impulse which you cannot explain mean strictly between ourselves sir privately the headmaster found smith's man-to-man attitude somewhat disconcerting but he said nothing well smith i should not like it to go any further sir i will certainly respect any confidence i don't want anybody to know so this is strictly between ourselves i think you are sometimes apt to forget smith the proper relations existing between boy and well never mind that for the present we can return to it later for the moment let me hear what you wish to say i shall of course tell nobody if you do not wish it well it was like this sir said smith jackson happened to tell me that you and mr. Downing seemed to think he had painted mr. Downing's dog and there seemed some danger of his being expelled so i thought it wouldn't be an unsound scheme if i were to go and say i had done it that was the whole thing of course dunster writing created a certain amount of confusion there was a pause it was a very wrong thing to do smith said the headmaster at last but you are a curious boy smith good night he held out his hand good night sir said smith not a bad old sort said smith meditatively to himself as he walked downstairs by no means a bad old sort i must drop in from time to time and cultivate him mike and adair were waiting for him outside the front door well said mike you are the limit said adair what's he done nothing we had a very pleasant chat and then i tore myself away do you mean to say he's not going to do a thing not a thing well you're a marvel said adair smith thanked him courteously they walked on towards the houses by the way adair said mike as the ladders started to turn in at downings i'll write a distraction tonight about that match what's that asked smith jackson's going to try and get ricken to give us a game said adair they've got a vacant date i hope the dickens they'll do it oh i should think they're certain too said mike good night and give comrade downing when you see him said smith my very best love it is men like him who make this merry england of ours what it is i say smith said mike suddenly what really made you tell downing you'd done it the craving for oh chuck it you aren't talking to the old man now i believe it was simply to get me out of a jolly tight corner smith's expression was one of pain my dear comrade jackson said he you wrong me you make me writhe i'm surprised at you i never thought to hear those words from michael jackson well i believe you did all the same said mike obstinately and it was jolly good of you too smith moaned chapter 59 sadley versus ricken the ricken match was three parts over and things were going badly for sadley in a way one might have said that the game was over and that sadley had lost for it was a one day match and ricken who had led on the first innings had only to play out time to make the game theirs sadly were paying the penalty for allowing themselves to be influenced by nerves in the early part of the day nerves lose more school matches than good play ever won there was a certain type of school batsman who was a gift to any bowler when he once lets his imagination run away with him sadly with the exception of adair smith and mike had entered upon this match in a state of the most azure funk ever since mike had received strations answer and adair had announced on the notice board that on saturday july the 20th sadly would play ricken the team had been all on the jump it was useless for adair to tell them as he did repeatedly on mike's authority that ricken were weak this season and that on their present form sadly ought to win easily the team listened but were not comforted ricken might be below their usual strength but then ricken cricket as a rule reached such a high standard that this probably meant little however weak ricken might be for them there was a very firm impression among the members of the sadly first 11 that the other school was quite strong enough to knock the cover off them experience counts enormously in school matches sadly had never been proved the teams they played were the sort of sides which the ricken second 11 would play whereas ricken from time immemorial had been beating ripped in teams and free foresters teams mcc teams packed with county men and sending men to oxford and cambridge who got their blues as freshmen sadly had gone on to the field that morning a depressed side it was unfortunate that adair had won the toss he had had no choice but to take first innings the weather had been bad for the last week and the wicket was slow and treacherous it was likely to get worse during the day so adair had chosen to bat first taking into consideration the state of nerves the team was in this in itself was a calamity a school 11 are always at their worst and nervous before lunch even on their own ground they find the surroundings lonely and unfamiliar the subtlety of the bowlers becomes magnified unless the first pair make a really good start a collapse almost invariably ensues today the start had been gruesome beyond words mike the bulwark of the side the man who had been brought up on ricken bowling and from whom whatever might happen to the others at least a 50 was expected mike going in first with barnes and taking first over had played inside one from bruce the ricken slow bowler and had been caught at short slip off his second ball that put the finishing touch on the panic stone robinson and the others all quite decent punishing batsman when their nerves allowed them to play their own game crawled to the wickets declined to hit out at anything and were clean bold several of them playing back to half volleys adair did not suffer from panic but his batting was not equal to his bowling and he had fallen after hitting one for seven wickets were down for 30 when smith went in smith had always disclaimed any pretensions to batting skill but he was undoubtedly the right man for a crisis like this he had an enormous reach and he used it three consecutive balls from bruce he turned into full tosses and swept to the leg boundary and assisted by barnes who had been sitting on the splice in his usual manner he raised the total to 71 before being yorked with his score at 35 10 minutes later the innings was over with barnes not out 16 for 79 ricken had then gone in lost ration for 20 before lunch and finally completed their innings at a quarter to four for 131 this was better than sadly had expected at least eight of the team had looked forward disney to an afternoon's leather hunting but adair and smith helped by the wicket had never been easy especially smith who had taken six wickets his slows playing havoc with the tail it would be too much to say that sadly had any hope of pulling the game out of the fire but it was a comfort they felt at any rate having another knock as as usual at this stage of a match their nervousness had vanished and they felt capable of better things than in the first innings it was on mike's suggestion that smith and himself went in first might knew the limitations of the ricken bowling and he was convinced that if they could knock bruce off it might be possible to rattle up a score sufficient to give them the game always provided that ricken collapsed in the second innings and it seemed to mike that the wicket would be so bad then that they easily might so he and smith had gone in at four o'clock to hit and they had hit the deficit had been wiped off all but a dozen runs when smith was bold and by that time mike was set and in his best vein he treated all the bowlers alike and when stone came in restored to his proper frame of mind and lashed out stoutly and after him robinson and the rest it looked as if sadly had a chance again the score was 120 when mike who had just reached his 50 skied one to strassion at cover the time was 25 past five as mike reached the pavilion a dare declared the innings closed ricken started batting at 25 minutes to six with 69 to make if they wished to make them and an hour and 10 minutes during which to keep up their wickets if they preferred to take things easy and go for a win on the first innings at first it looked as if they meant to knock off the runs for strassion forced to game from the first ball which was smith's and which he hit into the pavilion but at 15 a dare bold him and when two runs later smith got the next man stump and finished up his over with a c and b ricken decided that it was not good enough 17 for three with an hour all but five minutes to go was getting too dangerous so drummond and rigby the next pair proceeded to play with caution and the collapse ceased this was the state of the game at the point at which this chapter opened 17 for three had become 24 for three and the hands of the clock stood at 10 minutes past six changes of bowling had been tried but there seemed no chance of getting past the batsman's defense they were playing all the good balls and refused to hit at the bad a quarter past six struck and then smith made a suggestion which altered the game completely why don't you have a shot this end he said to a dare as they were crossing over there's a spot on the off which might help you a lot you can break like blazes if only you land on it it doesn't help my leg breaks a bit because they won't hit at them barns was on the point of beginning to bowl when a dare took the ball from him the captain of outwards retired to short leg with an air that suggested that he was glad to be relieved of his prominent post the next moment drumman's off stump was lying at an angle of 45 a dare was absolutely accurate as a bowler and he had dropped his first ball right on the warren patch two minutes later drumman's successor was retiring to the pavilion while the wicketkeeper straightened the stumps again there is nothing like a couple of unexpected wickets for altering the atmosphere of a game five minutes before sadly had been lethargic and without hope now there was a stir and buzz all around the ground there were 25 minutes to go and five wickets were down sadly was on top again the next man seemed to take an age coming out as a matter of fact he walked more rapidly than a batsman usually walks to the crease a dares third ball dropped just short of the spot the batsman hitting out was a shade too soon the ball hummed through the air a couple of feet from the ground in the direction of mid off and mike diving to the right got to it as he was falling and chucked it up after that the thing was a walk over smith clean bold a man and his next over and the tail demoralized by the sudden change in the game collapsed uncompromisingly sadly won by 35 runs with eight minutes in hand smith and mike sat in their study after lock-up discussing things in general and the game in particular i feel like a beastly renegade playing against ricken said mike still i'm glad we won a dares a jolly good sort and it'll make him happy for weeks when i last saw comrade a dare said smith he was going about in a sort of trance meaming vaguely and wanting to stand people things at the shop he bold awfully well yes said smith i say i don't wish to cast a gloom over this joyful occasion in any way but you say ricken are going to give sadly a fixture again next year well well have you thought of the massacre which will ensue you will have left a dare will have left incidentally i shall have left ricken will swamp them i suppose they will still the great thing you see is to get the things started that's what a dare was so keen on now sadly has beaten ricken he satisfied they can get on fixtures with decent clubs and work up to playing the big schools you've got to start somehow so it's all right you see and besides said smith reflectively in an emergency they can always get comrade downing to bowl for them what let us now sally out and see if we can't promote a rag of some sort in this abode of wrath comrade outward has gone over to dinner at the schoolhouse and it would be a pity to waste a somewhat golden opportunity shall we stagger they staggered end of section 21 end of mike by pg woodhouse


Hi, I'm Alita. Thank you for inviting me and thank you Christina for the introduction This is going to be slightly different from the last two speakers. Although Thomas did mention issues of integration and Director indirect discrimination and how these different groups can live in a symbiotic way So I'm going to talk about two things One is my research with my co-author listener plat on the type of contact and its relationship with ethnic identity and its implication for the current situation and Then also very briefly talk a little bit about a large UK household panel study that I am using in this research, which is quite useful for ethnicity and migration research So this is the research that I'm going to talk about now the way it relates to today's session and The conference is that we have seen recent increase in the number of migrants Which means there will going to be a lot of different people from different groups We're going to be brought in very close contact with each other very quickly and there will be issues of how these groups will deal with each other and There is always potential of intergroup conflict Now, what do we know about these issues until now? Now, this is nothing new It may be new in some countries, but multicultural and diverse societies have been dealing with this issue for a long time There are many countries which have a very long history of migration of different groups living together The US, some of the South American countries like Brazil, India, many African countries have Faced this issue But I will specifically talk about the UK today now in the UK most of the Public political and academic debate and research has actually focused on the immigration since the 1950s Which brought with it new ethnic groups, which UK was not familiar with at that time But in fact prior to the 1950s There is a long history of regional differences in the UK where there are strong regional identities and intergroup conflict So if you're not familiar with this issue, this is the map of UK UK is actually comprised of four separate countries and the England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland You can see the population distribution and Our current research has shown that there are even now, so it's not something that happened 50 years ago even now there are very strong regional identities, so country identities, Scottish, English, Welsh, Northern Irish identities and Quite often it is weaker than What is now considered to be a national identity, the Britishness or British identity So I just wanted to Put this in perspective Now going back to what is Typically referred to as ethnic groups or ethnic minority groups in the UK These these as I said are the groups that arrived since the 1950s mostly from Commonwealth countries So the five major ethnic minority groups that are often talked about are Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Black, Caribbean and African groups and then recently since 2001 white minority groups Now in the 1960s and 70s There was a lot of focus on discrimination and disadvantage that these ethnic minorities group faced in housing, in employment and various other sectors and Soon after that the race relations acts Was implemented and then it has been upgrade I mean revised since then quite a few times But what that meant is You would need to to understand whether this discrimination and disadvantage was being Addressed these issues you would have to somehow monitor and that is why the Question rose that how would we monitor them and so in 1991 for the first time the UK sensors introduced questions on ethnic groups Now this is slightly different from the way the Language is in The last two speakers it is not an issue of immigrants and natives because By now a lot of immigrants have children who have grown up their second generation So they don't consider themselves immigrants for obvious reasons. So the language is more in terms of ethnic groups So this is just a quick look at the 2011 UK census and As you can see this is a sorry 2011 UK census ethnic group question and These are the categories now the first category which says white English, Welsh, Scottish, Northern Irish and British that is Most people would take that and that is the what is we refer to as either white British or white majority group So they are the majority group there And now This is how the proportion of ethnic minorities in the UK has increased over the last three censuses So in 1991 about 7% were non-white ethnic minorities You couldn't identify White minorities in 2001 the proportion rose to 9% and if you include White ethnic minorities it's 12% and now the total number of ethnic minorities is about 18 to 19% So it's about one-fifth of UK's population Now just the way there is a long history of diverse ethnic groups living together and conflict There is a long history in Disciplines like sociology anthropology social psychology of trying to understand these so why are certain groups formed and some groups continue While others disappear. Why is there discrimination and prejudice against out-group members and in favor of in-group members? What it is that driving these attitudes then there are quite often very strong prescriptions on individual behavior by the groups So you belong to a group and there are certain ways you behave certain things you don't do you don't interact with other group members and so on So these have been studied for over 50 60 years actually longer in some disciplines Now the one that I'm going to focus on which is the focus of the research is and only touch fell as a was a social psychologist and He postulated that to understand discrimination and prejudice What you need to find out is two things one are people able to identify groups And second do they identify themselves with these groups? So both things are needed not just the existence of different groups But whether you identify with these groups and that is called social identity then of course the question is what are groups and These are three academics from different disciplines and they've all come to the same conclusion there is no Objective basis for groups in most cases so you can't say this is what it is in a multicultural multi-ethnic society All the group members know who belongs to which group the lines are known and everybody's aware of it But if you were to come from a different society and try to find out it would take you a while to figure out Why is it that these groups exist? Sometimes it's language sometimes regional differences sometimes Religion but there is no objective basis for it and sometimes it's difficult for outsiders to even understand Why are these groups so different or they consider themselves to be different? So we will take groups as given So what touch fell said is social identity will be understood as that part of an individual self-concept Which derives from his knowledge of his membership of a social group or groups together with the value and emotional Significance attached to that membership And this is quite key The There was a series of experiments that were done by touch fell and his predecessors and some of his Newer colleagues these are now referred to as the minimal experiments. They are really interesting experiments What they did was they basically asked people that you can give money to someone It's a hypothetical question and this person belongs to your group and then another hypothetical question This person belongs to a different group Now as you would expect people tended to give more money to their in-group members less to our group members Now that is fine. That was expected But then what they did is they tinkered with the definition of groups instead of pre-existing groups They then assigned people to groups based on say their favorite painter Picasso and clandzinski or something like that was one of the experiments It's still persisted Then what they did was they they even took away any kind of link to you and your group So they literally flipped a coin in front of the respondents and said you're going to be assigned to this group and you to that group So there was no basis for these groups, but just the fact that they belong to these groups They still Exhibited the same kind of behavior. It was weaker because these groups made less sense, but still it existed. So the idea is This identification with group is very important You extend your own identity and you attach it to the group and then this behavior becomes sort of almost obvious and This is her But we do need to distinguish between the social identity with personal identity people are different and people do differentiate between themselves and Everybody else and so when you think of personal identity you talk in terms of I versus them In terms of social identity you talk us versus them. So immediately you can see the difference In social identity you don't care about individual differences or characteristics. So the individuals matter less Suddenly they become representatives of groups and you only see groups in personal identity. There are many differences and you just Discuss the individual characteristics So what Ashfa and others then Conceptualized was this what is called a continuum of identity or even intergroup differences Where at the one extent end our social context where your intergroup differences are highlighted So this is when media is constantly talking about These this group and that group and they did this and that many immigrants have arrived and doing this So there you are constantly badgered with this information that these are other group members and that's where your social identity gets heightened and the other extreme are Situations where your intra group differences or interpersonal differences are highlighted So suppose as of two previous speakers have already mentioned in Interethnic marriages. So your partner is of a different ethnic group in those situations You are less likely to think of them as a group member and more as your partner. So it's the individual differences that matter and We and these situations are fluid. So you can move in and out of these situations and your identities vary accordingly now Contact theory also came to a very similar conclusion I'll put a 1954 said that if you are in Situations where there is equal group status Within that situation. There are common goals intergroup cooperation and authority support that will lead to reduction of prejudice and there is some empirical basis for that so the Hypothesis or the framework is this that if you have contact with other ethnic group members that reduces the intergroup differences then it reads to Reduction of prejudice and what social scientists did is that they said there is a link in between the way it this prejudice decreases is by weakening of your social identity and That is what we are going to Measure today There is very little empirical research using large-scale data. There are experimental evidence and small-scale surveys which have found similar findings and so what we will do is we're going to use a very large UK national survey and Try to see whether these hypothesis hold so we are going to consider two types of contact one Which is we call just type one contact which reduces intergroup differences and then see if it reduces social identity and The other is type two contact and Then we will see whether these relationships differ for ethnic minorities and majority groups in the UK Sorry So the data that we're going to use is from understanding societies a household panel survey that started in 2009 with around 30,000 households and What we then did was we matched information for every individual adult respondents in our survey with the region that they were living in the locality and We matched the data to the census data of that locality to get the ethnic group composition We are just considering 16 to 59 year olds living in England mostly because most ethnic minorities live in England So the comparison and that is our sample sizes And if you're interested then these are the sample sizes for the different ethnic minority groups That is there in our sample and we're going to study that Just to be clear in all these models that we are going to estimate We are controlling for all the usual factors by which the ethnic groups very age sex, mental status, education, husband, income, occupation, class, health and neighborhood deprivation So what is the first? Hypothesis the first hypothesis is minority ethnic group members will express stronger ethnic identity than the majority group Because all their contact and context heightens into group differences So they're always they are aware that they are the ethnic minority. They're always made aware of it And so it is going to be stronger than with the majority On the other hand first generation those who have arrived recently for them it shouldn't matter less because they are still not aware of these groups and So for them the ethnic identity should be weaker. So what did we find? We did find ethnic minorities report stronger ethnic identity than white majority respondents. This is robust across different specifications But surprisingly there was no generational difference across first and second generation Ethnic identity was very strong much stronger than white majority the next hypothesis is We would expect both minority and majority members who are living in mixed ethnic relationships will express weaker ethnic identity than others and Similarly, if they have very close and best friends who are of a different ethnic group again They're likely to have weaker social identity Because this is a cross-sectional analysis right now You could say that it's it is a matter of reverse causality You have a weaker ethnic identity Hence you make friends or partner with people of a different ethnic group So what we will do is we will split the duration of these relationships If it is not a case of reverse causality, then we should only see these relationships hold for long duration partnerships So what do we find we find for? Everyone if they are living in mixed ethnic partnerships They are more likely to report weaker ethnic identity and this holds only for durations that are five years or longer Because that means it has changed over the years and it's not selection For the next hypothesis about best friends ethnic group for ethnic minorities We see it does hold up and it holds up for relationships that are three years or longer But not ten years. I'm guessing it could be something to do with small small sample sizes at that end But for interestingly for white majority respondents, we don't find the support for this What we do find is if they have friends of a different these are best friends So they're very close friends of a different ethnic group. They report a stronger ethnic identity This was quite surprising But what we realize is once we control for ethnic group composition in your neighborhood This statistical significance disappeared So it's quite possible that what majority are more likely to have close friends if they are living in the areas Where there are people of different ethnic group and so this variable was proxying for the neighborhood effect Which I'll talk about just now so then if you look at type 2 a contact where we've measured in two ways one is the proportion of own ethnic group in your neighborhood and The other is the proportion of your casual acquaintance not people with whom you have very close contact What proportion of them are of a different ethnic group? And as I said, we would expect that because these are casual contacts people you just see but you don't really interact closely It's likely to lead to stronger ethnic identity Interestingly what we find is for ethnic minorities, they don't hold up. They don't matter But what does matter is whether you live in London or not? And that is because London has about 45 to 50 percent ethnic minorities So London is like a little different country in UK the entire national context changes And so that is why we find a different result that ethnic minorities living in London have a weaker ethnic identity Because it's a different context For the wide majority we do have Support for this hypothesis I'll skip this. So what is the conclusion? So the main conclusion is that we have evidence of weakening effect on ethnic identity due to close contact with other group members partners and close best friends and The reverse is true when it's just casual contact. You're just aware of these groups present So in terms of policy recommendations obviously cannot make strong policy recommendations But the idea is that if different ethnic groups are brought in close contact with each other in situations where they can interact on an Individual basis they will start to see each other as individuals and less as group members and that is how one goes about reducing prejudice and discrimination I'll skip this and I just want to spend two three minutes on The study that I used for this analysis So this is a UK house along your study which started in 2009. It started with around 40,000 households All adults that is 16 years or above in these sampled households and their descendants are followed and interviewed every year and so and But anybody moving into these households are also interviewed because they provide the household context This has three components one is a general population sample of 26,000 households and That is representative of the UK it has a huge geographical spread which allowed me to do this analysis where I had variation by location and The large sample size also allows different minority samples like single mothers they disabled people to be analyzed separately What is good and particularly of interest here is that it has an ethnic minority boost sample of around 4,000 households With at least thousand adult interviews from the five major ethnic minority groups and this is the only Survey in the UK which allows longitudinal research for ethnicity and migration. So if you want to study Employment dynamics poverty dynamics and so on could use that This has another component, which is a long-running similar household panel survey, which was then added to this but I'll talk about that This is The in wave one when it were started. This is what the sample sizes look like and Just if you're going to do use this for your analysis Remember that the ethnic minority boost sample and the general population sample should be used together because otherwise they Don't have otherwise you'll have coverage error because the ethnic minority boost sample was selected from high ethnic minority concentration areas and Then after five waves of survey in the sixth wave as you we added a new ethnic minority and boost sample the reason was partly that as you would expect with attrition the sample sizes for the ethnic minority groups had reduced but also we Had did not include any immigrants who had arrived into the country since 2009 and because UK is such a constantly changing Society that would have been a problem. And so we added that So in combination with it it allows you to do longitudinal research for ethnicity and migration These are some of the new sample numbers that we have don't cite it because we've not released the data as yet I'm just showing you and I'll just end With again if you're interested in doing research in UK with this that there are a lot of interesting questions They cover different measures of measuring ethnic groups not just the census ethnic group question But religion your parents grandparents Country of birth the year you arrived language that you spoke when you were a child national identity ethnic identity and so on and A whole bunch of behavior variables like remittances migration history experience of harassment reasons for migration and so on and Then because it's a multi ethnicity is one angle of the survey So it's a multipurpose survey. It has all the usual questions that you would anyway expect in such surveys I'll not go over the list again and Just to give one Quick look at the reasons for migration. This is the new data that we have just collected and going to be released in November This year, so we were just looking at reasons for migration by gender and As you can see and as you would expect at least in the case of UK Women are more likely to arrive as family migrants to join their partners and men are more likely to arrive as work or Education and other reasons so I'll just end


One of the many confusing things about Facebook ads manager is this thing called business settings Which you can get to in when you get to Facebook ads manager You might click on the menu and then find business settings here or of course Confusingly it's also down here. Anyway, once you click on it, you'll land on this place called business settings I just clicked on it one more time, but you know, I've always I was already there And then in the business settings, what's confusing is that when you click on the drop-down menu You will probably find you yourself under business accounts.  All right. Well, let me explain if I can the business account think of it as a connector of the assets in your Facebook business manager The assets include your team members if you have people managing your advertising account So that's an asset another asset is your Facebook business page Another asset is your Instagram account if any another asset is your Facebook pixel and then there are other assets That I don't typically I don't often use anyway So the business account is a connector of assets and you should go in there and try to connect everything as possible especially like I said pages add accounts connect that Instagram accounts and your pixel and Any custom conversions so connect those which I will talk about in separate videos And then in terms and then your other one your your personal account if you just go ahead and click on that What happens it just brings you directly to your ads manager, which is where you run ads and this is where I run ads I run ads in my personal ad account my personal ad account has been connected to my business account Which I explained earlier your business account is the connector of all things So I hope this clarifies a bit again Practical purposes you just have to set up your business account as being connected to the various things I just mentioned and then in daily use you just use your Personal account quote-unquote your ad account. All right. I hope this helps