Hi everybody, we're back. This is Dave Vellante of Wikibon. This is theCUBE, SiliconANGLE's continuous production here of O'Reilly's Velocity Conference. We're here in Santa Clara, I talk about web performance. Lot of people trying to solve some really hard problems collectively, you know, one individual, one firm, not even Google can really solve this problem. It's a lot of big discussions today about that. Vic Chaudry is here. He's the vice president of product management and corp dev at Keynote Systems. Vic had a great keynote, no pun intended this morning. Vic, welcome to theCUBE. Thank you very much. Yeah, so you were talking in your keynote about, you know, how do you even know where the problem is? You know, is it my server? Is it my network? Is it my Java code? So that's a big starting question, you know. Exactly. So talk about that a little bit. Well, as you know, you're sitting here with a laptop right now and you're in an environment that's completely controlled by some IT guys over here. So the performance of your website, the Velocity Conference which is open right now depends on your PC or the Mac device and it depends on what smartphone you might be using to access it on the network. There's so many different variables. So just starting point, where do you start? Is it the browser or is it the native app or is it your device or is it your laptop? I mean, that's just a starting point for the question. Right, and so talk a little bit about how you answered that question in your keynote. So at Keynote as in Keynote Systems or at the Keynote as in the Keynote app yesterday? Kind of both. Okay. So in the keynote today, what I really talked about was that you have to be able to understand performance and how it traverses through your entire ecosystem. So from the end user's perspective, all the way down to your infrastructure applications and just figuring out where the performance problem is. Is it in your application stack? Is it in the browser? Is it in your device? Just knowing where it is starting point, ground zero for us. Yeah, now in your discussion this morning you encouraged the audience to think big.  You've been in this business for a while. We were just talking off camera about some of the interviews you did back in the dot com days. Very exciting, right? We wouldn't have traded those days for anything. We're happy we were there for a while. But you ask people to think big and you talked about big companies that are thinking big. Oracle, Amazon, Google, Akamai, Facebook. Talk about those examples and share with us why they're good examples of companies that think big. Oracle, right?  They're putting the database. They want to be the database for everybody. Talk about those think big. What do you mean by that? Sure, so let me take Oracle as an example because I started my career as a rookie engineer at Oracle and that time it was a 800 person company and it grew to 50,000 over the five years I was there. And what Oracle did really well is they said, we'll take a problem which is you need a database to run your business. But that database could be running on a Vax machine, it could be running on a Windows PC, it could be running on a mainframe and it must work exactly the same no matter where it is on. And that was really important for IT organizations but it was a big problem to be able to write code that worked across all these machines. Yeah, okay, now fast forward to today. What's sort of the web example? Facebook is an example of that. Amazon and what's changed? I mean, things are more complex. Right, so in the consumer world it's clear that expectations are, it's got to work on a PC device like a browser, it's got to work on a mobile device and so consumers have all these expectations about how usable it is and how fast it is but in the IT infrastructure world what is changing is the fact that you can run your IT in the cloud like Amazon web services can or you can be sales force and you can say run your business in the cloud. So that's the big idea, that you can run your entire IT and your business, your sales and marketing all in the cloud and that's hard to do. Yeah, so the cloud on the one hand simplifies things for developers because it gives them access to world-class resources but on the other hand there's security issues, there's network issues, there's things like hybrid cloud which complicate things. So talk about that aspect a little bit. Okay, so let's take a look at hybrid clouds. There are, we work with a number of different customers that are managing data and traffic at huge scale. These are like some of the top internet companies. The who's who of Silicon Valley today. And one of the interesting trends is that many of these companies are taking their physical data centers and transforming their 11th, for example, data center into a completely public cloud. So they're using Amazon web services, TerraMark, Rackspace, they're using all of the above so they can have a very fault tolerant website. And the whole idea is at one point they don't need physical infrastructure but being dependent on those three companies if you are a massive website is a risky business proposition. So you've got to be very sure that it's going to work fault tolerant. Well, in injecting all these fault tolerant domains into the system adds complexity, right? It adds complexity, it causes network congestions, it causes slowdown, so if you go to a website and you look behind at the source code you'll find a lot of third party services that are being added to these sites. And there's some data that shows that as many as 20 different third party services are added to many popular consumer websites. That slows things down. Yeah, so I'm looking at your customer list now.  Sure, yeah. What are these companies doing with your service? How's that, how's it working? What these companies are doing with our service is helping very quickly understand right now what is the user experience of somebody who's coming to their website or their mobile application and they know exactly if it's slow, where it's slow, why is it slow, and they can remediate that within minutes. So they use us to be an early warning detection system. That's what they do with Keynote. So talk a little bit more about that because the remediation gets my attention, right? Because that's ultimately what I want to do. Tell me I have a problem if I can't solve it. So, obviously part of your value proposition is fast identification. Like you said, where do you even look? So you help me figure out where to look and I isolate that problem. But talk about the remediation piece. How does that work? What's the best practice there and what role does Keynote play? In the area of performance, the best practice there is to use CDNs so that you can use a third party to be able to offload traffic to the location or the origin or where all your consumers are. That's one good practice. The other practice is really re-architecting your website so that it's making as few round trips as possible. So that's an application development challenge. And those are two very good best practices. Other ones are beginning to use cloud data centers so that you can very quickly switch from one cloud data center to the next in order to move traffic over there. These are three ways in which other companies are doing it today. Can we talk more about mobile? I mean it's a relatively new trend in our business but it seems like it's been here forever. Right. It's hard to remember the pre-mobile days, isn't it? So, and specifically smart phones. So talk about how that's changed your customer's business and how have you responded. So this goes back to what I talked about this morning about think of the big problems and think about how you can solve them because we started thinking actually in 2000 about mobile devices even before they became consumer friendly. So today over 50% of our revenues comes from companies, the same companies you mentioned, testing and measuring their experience on mobile devices. That's a huge shift that's happened. And on the mobile frontier is the device? Is it the browser that's running there? Is it the network? Those are the starting points. Is it the way your application is constructed? So if I went to the keynote website, I mean does it work well on a mobile device? Is it reformatical for that? These are the big problems that customers are facing. Yes, a mobile sort of sent us backwards a little bit. I mean it's forward in some respects in terms of web performance and the user experience. It was backwards for a while. It's starting to catch up. Where do you see it going? You think we're going to solve this problem and how long is that going to take to really make the user experience where we need it to be? We have a long way to go in mobile performance and making that user experience good. And the user experience, today Google talked about how it takes twice or three times as long depending on your location to be able to load a mobile website as opposed to a PC based website. So that's the state of the industry today. But experience is not just about performance. It's also about does it work on my mobile devices? There are a thousand different phone models out there with different screen sizes and different configurations. Does it actually work? What about native apps? So the experience really goes well beyond the website and performance that goes into usability, it goes into functionality and that makes up a whole good experience. So you also have a corp dev role. So you're into M&A. I do. You've done your due diligence and acquired a number of companies. Talk about that role at Keynote and talk about your M&A strategy. Sure, well that was really fun. It was very near and dear to my heart. I'm a product guy, but I joined the company to do M&A. And this was 10 years ago when we said, look, we are a company that does X today and we're solving an important problem. But how do we begin to appeal to the larger enterprises? So we've done about 17 different acquisitions of technology companies and managed all of those acquisitions with a great team. And the company really knows how to integrate them. So as a result, many of the mobile acquisitions we did, as I said, account for about 55% of our revenues today. So what are you looking for in acquisitions? You're looking for tech. You're looking for market share. We're looking for people that really take us into adjacent areas. And that's the number one thing. So TAM expansion really is what you're trying to do. Absolutely, total addressable market and we really feel like we've doubled that by addressing new markets, going from performance, going to mobile to testing. And so today we are in the testing business as well. It's not just performance, but it's does it work? Does it functionally work on your mobile devices? What's the market like these days? Is it smoking hot? Is it a little bumpy? Is it bubble-licious? How would you describe it? Well, the entire market here seems to be very bubble-licious, but that's just the flavor of the day. So it's spoken as a true buyer, by the way. Right. You know, when we take a look at the... If you're selling, you'd say it'd be undervalued. Right, right. You know, we look at a long-term trend and we find that the market for web performance is growing at roughly about 15% a year, which is about where we are tracking today. The market for mobile experience and mobile testing is growing at a much faster pace of about 30 to 40%. So we see a lot of investment going into the area of helping you assure your mobile experience. And we hope that reflects in our evaluation of the company over the years.  Our total addressable market, that's a great question. So on the web performance side, it's about, if you count up the revenues of all the companies, that's $200 million today. That's our existing market. That's just being served today. That's being served today. And the entire application performance management market is about a billion dollars. So these are not huge markets. They're not 10 billion like CRM is, but they are very strong and fast-growing niches. For mobile testing, that entire market is going to be a $2 billion market, and we may have $30 million of it today. So the mobile testing itself is going to dwarf the traditional application performance management. We think there's much faster growth in that business, absolutely. Yeah, so that's your strategy, is to go hard into those markets that are growing faster and expand your TAM that way. Yes, that is true. And as you say, it should be reflected in your evaluation. It kind of already is, right? You guys are, let's see, you got a $260 million market cap. And what are revenues, $100 and change, $120? We were 125 in fiscal 2012. Trailing, right. So we're trailing. So it's decent, it's decent, but I would say that- You'd like to see it up there a little bit more. Of course, and we really believe that. You think you're undervalued. We should be at a much higher value that reflects how our customers look at us. Yeah, right. And we're confident we'll get there. Well, you're solving some of these hard problems. You said you encouraged the audience today, go after the billion-dollar ideas, that's what you're doing. Absolutely, that's right. Yeah, and there are billion-dollar ideas in here, and we're just, we're sort of halfway there, but we need to get even bigger and stronger, and we need to figure out where is the buck headed. So there's other adjacencies that you're going to go after that will continue to expand that, Sam, right? Beyond even the mobile testing piece. Is that right? I would say for the next couple of years, you're very, very focused on mobile, mobile testing and web performance. Because we feel like we have much to do in terms of executing in that business itself. So we're very happy with where we are. But, you know, to a cooperative guy, I guess never say never. What's happened is that out of the 17 acquisitions that we've done over the last few years, we begin to slow down the pace and do bigger acquisitions every two to three years instead of doing lots of small little ones. And that's really the time expansion for us. Yeah, and so it sounds like you're getting pretty good at it. I mean, that's part of art, isn't it, for science? And we've had some great successes, we've had some spectacular failures, and you learn from those. I feel like we have a really good team that knows how to integrate acquisitions. And that starts with strategy and being very clear and focused. Into what you want the team to be able to do. And that's the hardest part, because when you're acquiring new minds, they think differently, and they're thinking differently is good. And yet it has to be in the context of what our strategy is to grow the marketplace. Are you, when you acquire a company, I mean there's a couple approaches, one you can kind of keep a federation, the other is to tightly integrate them, and I guess the third is depends. Right. Which category would you say you're in? So we are in both. And the reason is that, for example, we have a subsidiary in Germany called Seagos that sells to telco operators. So we kept completely separately. But the keynote, the enterprise division that sells to enterprises, like the companies you mentioned, we, whenever we take acquisitions, we might keep them separate for a short while, but then we integrate them very quickly. And we really have to, because we're going after a cloud business in the enterprise. And so if you want to go after the cloud business, you want to be a SaaS company, you have to really change the way the service is delivered to the client. It has to be easy, it has to be really fast, it has to be running on all the cloud servers, it has to be scaled from being inexpensive to the right value. So that's SaaS business. So performance testing has changed a lot over the last decade or so, right? It used to be a very manual, almost like mechanical Turk-like. There's a lot of bodies. Yes. Talk about how that's changed and how you guys have adapted. That's a great question. I feel like the biggest way it's changed is that performance monitoring and performance testing was usually all about the servers and your internal infrastructure. So what's changed the most is that companies now recognize, thanks to the internet, that it's really important to test the performance that your users are experiencing. That's been the biggest one. But the other way that it's changed is the fact that we have this proliferation of browsers, i.e. various versions of i.e. Chrome, 26 different versions of Chrome. We have Firefox, Opera, we have mobile devices, different mobile browsers. So the way it's changing tablets, so the form factor is really changing. And that's the biggest, biggest change in understanding how to deliver great performance and scalability. All these devices is a very hard problem to do. Now, how do you actually deliver your product or service? Is it a SaaS? You alluded to it's a SaaS based primarily? We sell SaaS as well as systems. So the core SaaS services work in the following way. We have a global infrastructure, a network of computers, as well as mobile devices. These are real devices, real phones, connected to real networks, real PCs connected to the internet. And we robotically run measurements from there. Now what we announced today was the beta version of a real user monitoring service, which is a whole new way of taking performance measurements. And what we do there is we sort of like Google Analytics for web performance. We tell you directly in your browsers, you put a little line of JavaScript code on your website, and we can immediately tell you how users all the way from Nigeria or Egypt to Dallas are experiencing a website right now. So what are you seeing in terms of geographical differences and how are developers, you know, adjusting for that? I mean, it's not a homogeneous flow, is it? Right, no, it's absolutely not. We're seeing huge variations. But bar in large, we feel that the internet is working really well. And you just see problems in isolated geographies. And when you see problems in the isolated geographies, it is because you haven't really architected your data centers or your applications to pay attention to all the traffic that has to go from India back to your data center and back, or from New York City to all your data center and back. So geographical problems are bound. Other things we see, gosh, Internet Explorer 6 performance is seven times worse than it is for Chrome. But there's lots of users coming on Internet Explorer 7 because they're business users. So we can now measure that. Right. On a mobile device or a browser, the answer is worse. Which is things can take 60 seconds to load a webpage. I've been trying to get on the Velocity Conference webpage on my T-Mobile Prism device, which is not a really fast smartphone. And it is abysmal to get onto that site. Okay, so what's next for you guys? What should we be watching? Well, we are very excited about real user monitoring because it is just as much as our synthetic monitoring business, which we has run up to $125 million today in fiscal 2012. We feel we should be able to grow as much in real user monitoring over the next few years. So we're very excited by addressing that market right away. Excellent. My last question, Vic, is talk to the developers in the audience. What's the biggest piece of advice that you would give them, the action item that you'd ask them to take in terms of this whole web performance, web monitoring sphere? The biggest advice I would give to developers is that begin to come to places like Velocity so that you can understand the techniques you can use to make your sites and your native applications blazingly fast. Google said that a blink of an eye, 250 milliseconds, is really all it takes for a user to make an impression on a website. And if you can't load your page in 250 milliseconds, you're out of there, the user's out of there. That's a really high bar, a very low bar, really. So there's work to be done for developers. Yeah, right. We're probably 10 blinks of an eye today. Exactly, exactly. So people think one second or two seconds is good enough, it's not. You've got to be in that 250 second range. All right, Vic, thanks very much for coming on theCUBE. Really appreciate your insights. Good luck with your initiatives, with your M&A and getting us down to 250 milliseconds. We can't wait. Thanks very much. Thanks for having me here. All right, keep it right there, everybody. This is Dave Vellante. We'll be right back with theCUBE live from Velocity. This is theCUBE.


And a petroleum and natural gas senior staff association of Nigeria, Pengersen, has expressed concern over what it described as a trade year's national debt profile that is currently heating over 107 trillion Naira. It's cautioned against the populist borrowings which it said could lead to a speedy destruction of the country. The Pengersen president said the association was of the view that borrowings should be tied to projects that will generate funds for the liquidation of such loans, or stimulate all the economic activities that will lead to an improvement in the gross domestic product of the country. The 50 several significant challenges that hinder its growth and development are industries suffers from a lack of adequate infrastructure, including refineries, pipelines, storage facilities and transport networks. This leads to a heavy reliance on the import of defined petroleum products, making the country more vulnerable to price fluctuations in the international market and increasing costs of energy. Other kankawom is facing our dear sector lies in security challenges, including crude oil tech, pipeline vandalism and attack on oil installations that are in constant occurrence. This act of sabotage, destroy production and resorting revenue losses for government and oil companies. The presence of armed groups, insurgent activities and organized high-power stealing further exacerbate these security challenges. The menace of our borrowing and the consequence increasing their profile, both at the federal and state level of our country, is a time bomb with highly catastrophic implications. It is worth that these borrowing are not invested judiciously or with proper accountability.


Hello, everyone. My name is Milan and I'm with the National Trust Hope Crew, which is a trades training program that stands for hands-on preservation experience. Today, we're bringing you a video that's giving you a high-level overview of a preservation trade skill, which is historic window maintenance and re-glazing. In this video, you'll be seeing Ariana Macau, who was a trades expert onsite at the Odd Fellows Building in Astoria, Oregon, where we did a Hope Crew training on window restoration in this historic building. Ariana led a majority women crew in teaching this skill, and it was a project in collaboration with the Wear Women Made History campaign. While onsite, she also stepped aside to record this video and show a little bit about this trade. You'll see Ariana in Astoria, Oregon, showcasing the skill, and then she'll also pop back into her Oakland-based studio to show some more up-close shots. If you're interested to learn more about Hope Crew, Wear Women Made History campaign, or Zilani Glass Conservation, all that information can be found below. Thank you to our funders, Tawani Foundation, and Kinsman Foundation. You'll hear Ariana reference homeowners throughout this video, but in addition, this video is also intended for anyone who's interested in getting a high-level glimpse into this trade. We hope you'll explore more on our resource page to continue learning or find more formal training opportunities. And without further ado, let's get into this trade. Hi, I'm Ariana Macau. I'm the owner and principal conservator of Zilani Glass Conservation, and today I'm going to show you how to putty in an old window. But every window is different, so the first thing you need to do is document what you're doing and really assess your window. Even if you're in the same building, your windows may not always be the same. And if you're dealing with a historic building, it's more than likely that your paint has lead in it. So the first thing when you're documenting it is also assessing if your paint has lead in it. And then you take the precautionary measures for that. And when you're cleaning up, it's also a consideration just for the people who are around your window. So for any time you're working in a construction environment, even when it's on your home, the first thing you need to do is to be safe. So I've got my safety goggles on. I'm going to put on a mask, but first I'm going to talk through everything. And I also have gloves. The other thing is a lot of people think when they're starting to work on a piece, I'm only going to do this for 30 seconds, it doesn't matter. And especially around glass, that's an unknown piece of material and that could break, it could go into your eyes. There might be nails in here or hidden pins.  I'm lucky, I have this frame removed already and so it's flat. But often you're going to be doing this whole action in a vertical, working on your house and you're looking up and you're really concentrating on removing pieces and you're not thinking about health and safety. So get that out of the way at the beginning, put on your safety gear, glasses, mask, gloves and then you're ready to go. So for this project I have different tools for different phases of the project. First for removing the putty, you need a hammer and a hack out knife. And then when we're going to be glazing the putty back in, I'll be using different putty knives. Some of them are bent, some of them are straight, and then they come in different sizes. The other thing that they come in is different hardnesses and it's really your preference as to what you like. This one's pretty hard, this one tends to bend a little bit more. The ones that bend are nice if you have tiny risks like me. So you don't have to push so hard to get the putty to go in. We're also going to be using this putty but you can get any off-the-shelf putty from your hardware store. That should be fine for working on your windows at home. We're in Oakland, California at the Zilani Studios where I'm going to show you a few things I couldn't show you at the Hope Project in Astoria. This is a small panel in a wooden sash, something you'd see typical in a home. This is the inside and you can see that it goes straight up to the panel. The first thing you need to do is remove the panel or the piece of glass from your sash. So I'm going to carefully turn this over and this is the side you're going to remove. Here you can see the exterior of the wooden sash and it's been set in the panel has with putty. The putty is here and you can see it's uneven and paint even goes on to the glass and the problem with this window was that it was starting to leak. When you're looking at the putty that you have to remove you don't know exactly where the glass or the lead ends and the wood begins unless you have a separation. So in this case I can see there's a line here between the wood and the putty and you want to start there. I'm not going to do it right now because it's a safety hazard unless I'm wearing my proper gear. So you have to make sure you know where your hack out knife is going and also the angle. If you go straight down you'll most likely go into the border. If you go a slight angle this way it'll be where the border and the wood interface and that's much better. It's a good idea to start at that edge you can feel where that is going down a little bit and then you also go in this way to remove it. So it's always better to start with tiny little bits to see how hard your putty is. This is pretty typical of what you'll see. It's relatively hard old putty on wood that is also relatively hard and forgiving. The ideal type of combination that you want is hard wood and soft putty but you hardly ever get that. You can always go back and take out a little bit more but you can't put in missing wood and this example piece is a wooden frame, a painted wooden frame from a church but it's a nice bite size piece that you could find in your home as well and currently the putty has been removed so you can see how the glass fits into the frame. So I'm going to take out some, roll it into a ball relatively quickly. We're going to assume all of this is cleared out. This is when your angled knife comes in good. You just sort of press it down. It doesn't have to be too neat but you want to make sure it covers all of your surface and doesn't roll like this. You should cover all the back of your rabbit, the excess back in your corner and make sure those corners especially if they're at the bottom are covered. Then you can do a run here. So it's really important to orient your glass and mark it if you're putting in lots of them or you're unsure of which way it goes in because even if you've got a rectangle or a square it's not perfectly rectangular or square in general and it may not fit and you don't want to limit manipulating your glass in and out and also if you have a good putty back bed it won't want to come out a lot and you'll have to redo your steps if you don't do that correctly. So then you just put a little gentle pressure around your whole glass and when you feel resistance then you're fine and there are different ways that you can anchor your glass in place. You can either use these triangles and you put them in flush. So you have your triangle parallel to your glass and you can see there's two little nubs here and those are the ones that go out and then this pointy part goes in and you just push it in until you can see through your glass to the other side that it's cleared the rabbit because you don't want to see it once you have it set in. Your putty is going to sit over it and I can see here there's a line from where the old putty was that I'm safe because it's inside of that line but if I was putting in a new piece of glass I wouldn't have that as a reference so I would look through to the other side. It would also be cleaner so I could see. So now we put all of the triangles all the way around. Another option is putting in nails at an angle but every time you're nailing you have the potential of hitting your glass with your hammer hitting the nail straight down into the glass which will cause a break. So if you're not doing this as a profession using the triangles is a little bit safer. So again I'm getting a little bit of this putty putting this along the edge. This step is not where you want to be frugal. This is your first line of defense against weathering and any kind of moisture that's going to go into your window. You can always take some off but it's harder to put more on so I've lined this along here. I'm taking my putty knife and putting it in at an angle. You don't want to do it like this too tight because there's not a good line of defense. Again here I'm working with an old piece of glass so I can see the line and I want to go up to that line or maybe a little bit over it. So here's the line from the old the old putty and I'm putting some putty here in the corner. If your putty is well mixed and it's a new batch you can take it directly from the container and apply it to your window. In some cases there'll be separation of the oils from the rest of the putty and you want to mix it up first so you have a nice even distribution of materials as you apply it and that's when you would do your snake. This is not good because when you paint it it won't look nice. It's also sort of lumpy and also it's not joined all together so that will fail faster and come off of your window frame. So in this case you get a nice angle. Remember you might even want to mark on your wood where that putty the old putty line was and then you just pull in a uniform manner along the whole way. And if you have excess start on the corner and pull out away so you keep your nice putty line and as it's human nature you might accidentally cut into your putty line like this. Don't worry about that just keep on taking off the rest and you can always I used hard uniform pressure going all the way down if you have to resolve that part that you left you can go over it again and add a little bit more but don't overwork it because you'll still get a line like this. So then you start in soft a little bit above then you get into the part where you filled it push a little bit harder and pull off a little bit and the question we get a lot is what happens when you get to your corner you want to have a nice miter joint and you always end up kind of mushy here so you see when I got to the bottom here instead of trying to go all the ways to end I pulled and then went up on my bevel and then I can start here on that same line and pull off that way and pull off this excess and you can sort of rework it again going the other angle and I'm using this corner as a reference so I don't have to invent what I'm doing. I'll show you a few things that happen if you don't push hard enough or if you push too hard if you push unevenly so I'm pushing hard and then I'm pushing light and then hard and light you're going to get this with your putty you can either start again or just pull up and then remember to use uniform pressure and you can resolve it that way and then if you push too lightly you just get all these tide marks and it's really really uneven and there's no way to cut off your nice line or people try to resolve it and they you know it looks like this just slowing in control is the best way to do your bevel you can see when it oozes out here that you just cut away if you see something like this if you're just repairing putty on a window that you didn't take the glass out and you didn't take out the other sides there's a little bit of space here and what I see is uneven putty and also there's missing putty so you would take out anything that is loose add a little bit more to where that is and then you don't want anything rough so you can still sort of clean it up a little bit you don't want to gouge like this to clean it up because that's a place where water can sit even if it's in the inside of your window you always want to have a flush amount so it's not visible but it's sealed and if you you are working with someone on the outside and they see that you can push in a little bit more this is ideal if you can do it teamwork wise and then just run your knife along there and this putty takes over 24 hours to set so you have a lot of time to work with it and we're also in an ideal temperature so it's not too hot and not too humid if you're dealing with something that's too hot or too humid you can be the best glazer and it's not going to work because it just gets really sticky and and easy and it'll go everywhere you have putty all over your tools on your gloves and all over the glass just wait there's no way to resolve that at that time after you have this all the way around you wait and see how long the manufacturer says to let the putty set and when it's completely set or at least they say it has a skin which means the top few layers of it are set and it won't move around then you can paint it with either a latex or oil paint the last thing you can do is take this is a dry cloth and clean off a little bit and go in line with how you did your your bevel the other thing is you can wait overnight wait for it to have that skin which is a protective layer and then you can really get into your your window cleaning because the last thing you want to do is after you spend all this time putting in a nice bevel is to clean it with your rag and then your rag makes an imprint onto your putty bevel and you have to start all over again so never leave putty on the ground don't leave putty on a sill or your tools or dust because even if you're thinking about it other people may not know you've done it and then if there's water that comes down from rain that is migrating all of your dirt onto the ground onto other people or if it's windy all those tiny little chips are going to go into the air and maybe hit people who are walking by i'm ariana mcow of zilani glass conservation if you have any other questions feel free to reach out to zilani that's silent n-z-i-l-a-n-i dot com and i'm open and ready for your questions thanks


Hi hack motion is variable motion capture system for landing sports We're learning physical activities. There are two bottlenecks there first We are missing data because we don't have measurement devices to actually capture them We don't have golden standards for many sport second. We need to get a coach to land them so We have but this can be improved by automating this process and this is where hack motions come seen We have selected one of the most popular sports in the world golf as our launch pad With 80 million players and we have identified a problem there It is the wrist movement during the golf swing. It can make or break the shot and we have developed a device That actually tracks the wrist movement Very precisely and provides feedback on that in easy to understand form with graphs audio feedback and recorded animations We have started to talk with the golf coaches in more than 20 countries around the world And we will be targeting them next February with direct sales. We are offering our devices with upfront fee for the hardware and 50 euro subscription fee in month for the software in 2019 we are going for consumer market and using our golf coaches as an early sales force To the consumers and this is pretty widespread practice for golf coaches to actually sell or recommend equipment to their customers Currently golf coaches mostly use video analysis in their lessons and use expensive software for that Also, there are a couple of motion capture devices for full body tracking But they either lack the wrist measurements or they are pretty lengthy to set up And also there are physical products which actually limit the wrist movement during the swing But there is no feedback there. We are able to combine wrist tracking with precise measurements. Also ease of use and affordable pricing Actually, this is a second product of ours We have just finished working on the very very similar system for sports target shooting and just launched a pre-sales campaign for that Heck motion was founded a year ago. We have graduated build it and start up sound accelerators We have our team holds PhD related to motion sensors We have built businesses before and we have a golf coach with more than 10 years of Field experience in our team. We are looking for 300,000 euro investment to boost the sales and marketing for our product and also speed up R&D for the next version of consumer product I'm Yanis from hack motion. Thank you. Thank you time for the comments So I have a question Is the core IP around the software and algorithms or the sensor for instance, could you use like Samsung gear or other Hardware platform and just layer on top of that your software or you really need your own specific sensors So for for this kind of devices to work You actually have to have several sensors because what what those initial sensors what everybody is using do they actually Capture their position Angler position in the space, but actually get useful data of that you need several sensors so basically in this case we need our sensors to be able to analyze the data and get meaningful feedback for the for the coaches and their trainees What has the user adoption been like so far you said like 10 or 20 coaches using so far How many of their golfer Students have been using it and have they got any actionable results So currently we are a little bit further with target shooting product, which is Actually used by 15 15 coaches around the world with golf We have just run customer validation and we got 20 percent response rate to the cold emails asking to the video interviews so we've done more than 20 video interviews currently and like from those 20 only two coaches said that this may be not relevant to them others asked when they can get device and start using it so definitely It is useful for coaches as far as it seems but we are not in the stage with the end user testing yet So it's two two years. We start with the coaches and then we go after consumers Excellent. Thank you. We're out of time. So welcome next


So one of my contemporaries recently posted this exact same title with a phrase that I thought was warranted some discussion and let me just say that what he shared in his video was an absolute rant with respects to this phrase However, I have a little differ. I have a twist on this So let me share you the phrase that he had a rant about and then I want to share you share with you my Perspective with a slight twist not so much the phrase he used but something else men use that are absolutely Confusing and quite frankly sometimes are just downright lies So what he shared in his video was the phrase when a man says I'm not looking for a serious Relationship I'm not looking for a serious relationship. Okay now Certainly, that's a phrase that is a major red flag when a man says that now ladies Let me just say something about red flags though. There's a big difference between a red flag and a deal breaker That's right. A red flag and a deal breaker a red flag actually means ask deeper questions That's what a red flag is So if a man did share with you that he's not looking for a serious relationship It begs to dig a little bit deeper on what he actually means with that But today I want to share with you the more common phrase men say That is actually can be incredibly confusing and is actually a deeper red flag than the men red flag Excuse me not red fly a red flag versus the men who say I'm not looking for a serious relationship Okay, so before we get into it I think it's really important to identify the three active types of the three types of men who are actively dating today These are what I call the users the spenders and the growers That's right the users spenders and growers and if you're not familiar with my chart on this I think it's it's it's important that you look into this But here are the three types of people actively dating today Roughly about 20% of the population are users Roughly about and this is not a fact This is merely an opinion to a 60% are spenders and the last are the growers and the builders now The users are those people that seek a short-term game Love bombers gold diggers and title people selfish people all they care about their own needs. That's the users then the spenders Those are the people that seek Condection companionship and sex with no direction uncertainty. They're fearful about Relationship they have a dysfunctional life and lastly are the growers and builders roughly about 20% These are the people that seek a long-term relationship. They're emotionally grown up good relationship skills. They have their act together. All right Reason why it's important to recognize the three types of people who are actively dating is that? 80% of the population are either users or spenders Okay, very small percentage of the population are true growers and builders These are the people that genuinely want a significant relationship They want to build a life with someone they want to either live with someone get married Or maybe they might want to do what's called living together apart. Okay now I'm primarily talking about the demographic. That's the over 40 category again for those who follow my channel I'm a midlife dating and relationship coach Those are people that are after baby making years and before retirement and that's a unique Population because men in their 20s and 30s are often times seeking a wife or the mother of their children and Certainly with the demographic ideal and roughly about 75% of singles who are over 45 years old are divorced and people that gone through divorce it's like an unraveling of the tapestry of their old life and Many don't know how to integrate someone new into their life. Okay. Are you ready for the really confusing phrase that men say? well, here it is and This is a phrase that needs to be scrutinized because when a man says to you I am looking for a relationship But you might even say I want a relationship or Worse he says I want a long-term relationship and I why I say worse is Did you know that when a man says to a woman what I call? Relationship talk it actually could be a ploy. It could be a lot downright lie And let me give you an example of what I'm talking about Let me ask any let me ask some of you or all of you have you ever had a man say to you I'm looking for a relationship You began exploring a relationship with him.  Well, wait a minute You told me before you were looking for a relationship and now all of a sudden you're not looking for a relationship Well, ladies, isn't this quite confusing how a man can say I'm looking for a relationship And then all of a sudden say I'm not looking for a relationship. Yeah Obviously his his Verbiage that he said to you is he's just not that into you most likely and that sucks Especially when he went on to this trajectory to saying how amazing you are how wonderful you are I'm ready to be in a fully committed relationship only to do with the turnaround See here's the confusing thing about the phrase. I'm looking for a relationship. The word Relationship is ambiguous If it's not defined, that's right. It's ambiguous if it's not defined For example, you might be thinking the word relationship means this You're looking for something where you spend two three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities hobbies mutual interests Spending time with family and friends traveling together teamwork building skills both in your personal and your professional life intimacy both physical and emotional intimacy that leads to either moving in together getting married That's what you might be thinking his his terminology for the word relationship might simply mean I Just want to see you at my beck and call see without defining the word Relationship it's incredibly confusing and this is why it's a red flag and remember I said red flag means asked deeper questions Because here's the reality coming back to those users those spenders and the grower builders See, it's not just what they say, but you actually evaluate have to evaluate Is this person even capable of a relationship? So when a man says I want to relationship I'm looking for a relationship. Well first we have to define What it is that means to him you got to ask the question? What does commitment look like for you? What does a relationship look like for you? Now you might start by expressing what it looks like for you remember my my rhetoric is you know the Social activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends you have to decide that for yourself Sadly many of you are in a relationship. It's a cyber relationship. You spend more time texting on the phone than you actually spend time getting to know one another through Physical bonding with one another, but that's a whole nother conversation So I said first you have to define what does a relationship look like for this you ask him What does a relationship look like for you? By the way, there's an I'm gonna throw a little curveball in here You might always ask a man does anybody else believe they're in a relationship with you That's always a good question to be asking But the follow-up question once you've decided what a relationship looks like the follow-up question is this and Is really to determine if he's capable of a significant relationship So how do you determine if he's capable of significant relationship? Well folks? I created a coaching by the way right here's a link to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach Is right for you by the way in the description below you can click the link to schedule a call with me My whole coaching program is designed to teach you what questions You should be asking based on your personality to determine is this person Matching what you desire in a relationship. Are they capable of a relationship? But more importantly are they emotionally mature enough to be in a healthy happy relationship? See those users and spenders those users are people in it for the short run those are the guys who love bombers Okay, the real challenging demographic of the spenders and why are they called spenders?  See, there's no Consequences for using people. There's no consequences. Think about that Now folks we have to recognize what's changed in the last hundred years or really the last 20 to 30 years is These days we're meeting absolute strangers. We know nothing about Rarely, do you know anything about the person you're meeting other than what they've told you see think about this? this is like a matter of fact if you were going to hire somebody for for a prestigious job Would you take their resume on face value or would you check their references? See here in the dating realm, we have very little capacity to check someone's references unlike 30 40 50 years ago Most the time you knew somebody who knew like even when I got married my my now ex-wife She knew one of my close friends. It's not how we met We actually met through a dating site, but she knew one of my close friends and actually turned out she grew up And she grew up she went to the high school that was right next to the high school of mine Turns out we had a lot of mutual friends I could find there were there was like no degrees of separation between the two of us these days when you're meeting total strangers and you know nothing about their backstory other than what they've told you You have to do a better job of being a detective whether you like it or not You have to be a detective because this person that you're investing your heart in You're investing your heart into someone who's saying nice things to you that's taking you out. See romance clouds judgment I've often said romance should be reserved for those people in a significant relationship Not as an entry point into a relationship Think about that for a second Romance should be reserved for those in a significant relationship Not as an entry point into a relationship and yet most women love the idea of being romanced But guess what it clouds judgment and in the early stage of dating your discernment means Everything raise your hand if you've been used by a guy Raise your hand twice if you've been raised used by two guys Raise your hand over and over again if you've been used by men and what I mean by use what I mean by being used Has a man said to you all these nice things Expressing an interest to explore a relationship only to do the double-take the turnaround the pulling back the ghosting the disappearing See whether we like it or not. It's a small percentage of men That are really capable of a healthy relationship just being capable of it and then they also have to desire it So men who are capable of a significant relationship Typically want a significant relationship They're very clear that they want to either move in together get married at some point in their life or they're very Intentional about wanting a serious relationship and their actions demonstrate it See these are men who will actually want to spend regular time with you I know many of you are finding yourself in what I call cyber relationships. You spend most of your time texting one another Believing you're in a relationship with someone.  I get it. Listen There's my picture of my sweetheart and I long-distance relationship. Let me tell you we are the exception. We're not the rule What made our relationship the exception or exceptional as I feel is We were very deliberate. We made during a hundred keep in mind We had a 1700 mile distance between the two of us in a hundred day period We were physically together with each other 45 of a hundred days give or take 45 days out of a hundred that's literally if you lived around the corner that would be seeing each other every other day Many of you are engaged in long-distance texting Relationships you barely see each other you have and by the way, whether it's long distance or right around the corner I know someone I was talking to someone recently that they're dating a guy that lives Half-hour away They see each other once a week once a week is like is like a turtle's pace to get to know one other But Jonathan, I'm so busy. I don't have time for a relationship. Well, guess what I Want you to think about this for a second The best way to get to know someone is to live with them The second best way to get to know someone is go on a two-week vacation with them our current methodology of dating is just like you know is just I call it trying it on for size you see each other a little bit you go back to your respective homes You see each other a little bit you go back to and it gets long drawn out See, you really don't get to know someone until you're actually in their environment So you actually spend time with their family you spend time with their friends to see if they're legit or not and It starts very early on by being discerning and as I said earlier romance clouds discernment So coming back to the the phrase that's actually a med Confusing phrase that's actually a red flag is actually when he says I'm looking for a relationship Because without defining what relationship is You could find yourself you're thinking of relationship like this and he's thinking Relationship like this and guess what that space in between is called drama drama drama Because one person wants more Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know if it is please hit that like button Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel and by the way in the description below are all these links to schedule discovery call with me To follow my group to join the membership group here to follow me on Instagram And all the books I recommend and don't forget my book What the heck a self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work all right? I think this will be a great place to take a break and ask time to take questions if you have a question for me write the word question then post the question there after or you can Purchase a super sticker super chat if this had value for you Please purchase a super sticker super chat all the monies go to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley He's my son who passed away a few years ago. There's a picture of him right there in His honor I donate to causes like the Hoffman process and insight Institute just to name a few All right, and again if you're watching the replay purchase a super. Thanks. All right. I thought I saw a question pop in so let's take a look here Bear with me everyone Okay zen gal says red flag My guy asked to marry wait my guy asked me to marry him less than three months in I said who yeah He's great, but I didn't feel like I knew him six months and I'm still in the slow lane So is this a red flag? Well So I think when a man is excited about someone you could feel like he wants to marry him marry you It's not a red flag. Okay when a guy on a first date says oh my god.  Oh my god I see us getting married and then he does the I'm not ready for a serious relationship Well, when someone says that on a first date I'd say that's probably a solid yellow close to a red flag Someone says it three months in no, I don't consider that a red flag That means he likes you and wants to explore a relation think about it a hundred years ago people got look at my sweetheart Marie Her parents got married in 12 days of meeting each other And that wasn't uncommon back in the day now Does that mean you should get married? No, it doesn't mean that But certainly that's a good sign that someone is expressed marrying you now really you have to look at what actions Correspond after this are you actually building a life together? Are you co-creating a relationship together? I highly recommend reading the book I haven't talked about this book in a while Spiritual partnership a journey of authentic power while this is about the individual journey To to partnership why I want you to read this book is it's a great It's a great Foundational piece to build partnership with someone now. There's another book you may want to consider Where is it? Here it is Now this is a business book called the partnership charter how to start outright with a new business partnership Why i'm suggesting this book is particular is when two people decide to join together in business They actually make agreements with one another This is your responsibility in the partnership and this is my responsibility in the partnership It's a great book for businesses that can be absolutely applied to relationships So just off the top of my head. Is it a red flag? Maybe a yellow flag But again red flag simply means ask deeper questions. So zen gal. Thank you so so much for that All right, let's keep swimming Let's keep going here. Let's keep going here. Sheila raw. I think I saw the word question Please go back to my message question near the beginning. Please type that in the beginning Oh, yeah, do you have a question write the word question so I can see it easy easily Okay, Sheila Roth wrote the question Guy don't okay guy Doesn't bring his phone on first meeting on a first date. So is that a red flag or being considerate? Oh, that's a good one. I'm not sure I've ever heard that You know, I think people who put their phone away put it on silent on a date are very considerate people If he says he didn't bring his phone um Now might I had a reaction? Could it be a suspicious thing? Could it be that he doesn't want, you know, like maybe he's married and doesn't want the phone to ring That's a possibility. But I would think someone could just turn off their phone in that particular case. So I'm not sure It's a sinister thing. I'm just speculating here But um, and I would want to give the person the benefit of the doubt But it could be something sinister like The person's married. They don't want to, you know, but I again, I would think they could turn off their phone So I'm not really sure about that one Uh, that's just my two cents on that. Sheila. So thank you Uh, Cass writes question What if you're both invested in each other but your partner has past trauma that he hasn't really dealt with Which leads him to shutting down when he's feeling emotionally frustrated Well, this is a very common tale. We do have a significant percentage of the population If you're not familiar with my chart on emotional maturity relationship skills roughly 20 This is not a fact. This is merely an opinion I believe 20 of the population has clinical issues of some sort, whether it's narcissism Sociopath the list goes on and on and while I say 20 of the population is emotionally healthy and has good relationship skills The vast majority of people are dysfunctional Why are they dysfunctional? Because they have childhood wounds and adult traumas that have gone unaddressed And they bring that baggage of emotional trauma to a relationship And many people don't have the skills to actually communicate in a way to be uh, seen heard and understood or actually How to have the the the bandwidth to express themselves Because they're guarded or oftentimes closed off. So with that said This is a really tough one. I'm a folks. I'm a big proponent of co-creating a relationship my my sweetheart and I once a month do We do something um, where we actually do Therapy with one another we actually when I say therapy it's a version of of Of of really examining our relationship each month. I say it's therapy because we unpack the relationship We talk about the nooks and crannies some of the frustrations we feel We talk about the future how that would look and we do this on a monthly basis And making sure we're on the same page and this isn't just you know, we have vacations planned and other things But this is meant to strengthen our relationship by having deeper communication If someone's incapable of that They might just be appreciating your company, but they're not capable of going any deeper That's just my quick thoughts on that gas. So I hope that helps Um, well, okay, so what okay, what's the solution for gas? I would say you know what I would invite going to a therapist you know Early on in my relationship with with marie. I actually called someone we got on a three-way call because I wanted to process Something about our relationship and I wanted a third party to be involved in the conversation I think it's healthy to ask for support And if someone is on is is reluctant to seek help Then how really committed are they to the relationship if they're not willing to seek help? So that's my two cents on that one. So thank you so much gas all right Question If he used to have cash if if he used to have casual sex a high body count Two timing whereas i'm a virgin and he wants to be my boyfriend with no sexual marriage Should I believe him? Can a playboy become faithful? Well anything is possible. So yes, that is absolute possible. Is it likely? Probably not but listen if you're together a year and he hasn't you know, if you're together six months And he hasn't pushed for sex then he's probably legit So I think it would take a good three to six months to see if he's legit So, um, you know, can up can a playboy turn his colors? Yeah Absolutely. I used to be a serial dater and I turned my I turned that around so absolutely. Yes, arthur Hope that helps um I want to thank jess For becoming a new member. I'll post that in a moment. I just want to thank you so much patty writes question What does it mean when you are in a relationship and the guy barely communicates? I feel like i'm not a priority at all You know, I had this happen to me once I dated a woman Who is interesting she wrote these beautiful emails to me. I'm just with a lot of depth But when I was with her she was incredibly shy It began to bug me. It was like I I had to like you know It was like I had to pull the conversation out of her and it was driving me nuts so, um I eventually dated for six weeks. I eventually ended the relationship. I said this just doesn't feel like it's working for me Oh my god, the next day I saw on facebook. I dated another narcissist. Okay, but that's neither here nor there um, it's not fun dating people who don't not what's You know who barely communicates. What's the point of being to me? Okay, let me give you an example. Okay My mother and father before my mother passed away. They were married 66 years and I think um, my mom was around 80 she died at 88 And um, I came over their house one day and I noticed the tv wasn't working. I go Mom dad. What's going on with the tv? They said, oh, it's um being you know, the cable company is coming in and changing the lines I go and they're used to watching there Was it a wheel of fortune and jeopardy at seven o'clock? And then it was usually lifetime channel or something like that And I said, what do you guys have been doing, you know without tv and she goes I've been talking to your dad I'm like great So, uh, I came back a week later and I see the tv isn't on I go Hey, what's happened is the tv working? I might they go. Yeah, they fixed it a couple days ago I go, why aren't you watching tv and my mom said I'm not done talking to your dad? Let me tell you something As we you know the whole point of relationship is having in my opinion as we get older is having someone to talk to That's the whole point I mean besides the sex and the companionship and doing things together Having your best friend Is what it's all about it's friendship on fire So if you don't have that kind of if you can't talk to this person like your friend Then it's probably not a very fulfilling relationship. Okay. I hope that helps patty Jessiness one of our new members just writes question if a guy admits there's an us but says he doesn't like labels What does that mean? Well, guess what?  Well, guess what? This book has a label it's called a book and it has a title associated with it This cup has a label and it has some writing on it my telephone. It's called a telephone What would you call it if you didn't call it a phone? So everything has labels and when two people are together Defining the relationship creates clarity So no labels is no clarity. Okay. So let's say you had three bottles In front of you one was wine one was beer and one was cyanide all the bottles look the same Which one are you going to drink? And they told you there's a one and three chance you have to drink and there's a one and three chance You could be drinking cyanide But it doesn't have a label. Well, guess what? Relation if you if you if this guy wants your vagina, then you have every right to establish What is the purpose of us getting together? Is it for your benefit or is it for my benefit? That's my opinion on labels. Anyway Jesse, I hope that helps Sheri Lynn says honestly, I think you give amazing advice. Thank you so much Charlene writes Question this guy said he liked me and he always wants to come over. I said no, I prefer to go on dates there's not really a question there but You know what I have a different opinion on that, you know, I think hanging out Can be just incredibly satisfying as dates I actually now I'm a big proponent of physically doing things out in the world But I'm also a big proponent of hanging out And talking with one another and exploring the nooks and folks Most of you know, I hate small talk. Okay, I'm going to share with you a meme right now Okay, this is the meme I hate small talk.  I don't want to know what's up See, I'm a big proponent of hanging out just as I'm a big proponent of going out. Okay Now again, I like balance. So that's just my two cents on the subject. You have to do what's right for you Okay, charlene All right, alexander writes question Long distance we cannot start a relationship like that He invited me and my son and dog to come stay with him but says he's not ready for a relationship What does he want at his place? Well, that's a good question. What do you want? You you don't want a relationship, but you want to in its long distance.  This is where we have to ask deeper questions. What is your intent? Where do you see your life? Do you want what does a relationship look like for you? And the follow-up question there is why don't you want a relationship?  So alexandra. That's why I would approach that one all right Jessiness thank you for becoming a youtube member I always give out shout outs to members with a big gigantic jonathan bear hub jessiness. So thank you And leaps in the house as well Leaf says no phone call could be could be that some way could be have could they have someone But first time is probably respectful. However, this is the person who didn't bring his phone However, two who had phones on silent found out was married and the other was in common law So go slowly and um and possibly run, you know what? I always like to text people right before A date just as a quick little follow-up if they come and say I don't have my phone Again, it's could it be a red flag? Yes, it could be a red flag But again, they could turn off their phone too All right kelly writes question How can I gauge if I'm being too picky versus having standards of expectations? Uh You know pickiness might look something like this You're five foot two and I refuse to date someone who's under six foot two That's being picky given that only two percent of the male population is over six foot two that'd be in that An example of picky I'm not big on expectations, but I am big on standards for example Actions matching words. That's a big standard for me actions matching words. I'm also a big Fan of people who have victor consciousness and not victim consciousness A lot of people are suckling on the nipple of victim consciousness. That's a standard. I I prefer that That be met. I'm not big on expectations, but picking this is like okay When marie first came to my place um I'd been in this apartment for seven years and you know the carpet was old it was I you know unless they changed it out. I had a shampooed once a year and it wasn't enough She didn't like it. She didn't like it, but it wasn't a deal breaker for her See not like if it's something that you just simply don't like But you want it to be different that's being picky In my opinion when it's things you can't change about a person that's being picky But then again, what matters most is your standards actions matching words, that's a that's probably the most important standard to be evaluating in my opinion Okay, thank you. Kelly. I appreciate that D writes question What kind of questions can you ask to have deeper relationship? um, you know Folks if you're not familiar with the gotman institute. I highly recommend getting something called card decks card decks you can go to google or play store or Apple store gotman institute gotman card decks c a r d decks d e c k s Okay, so date questions. Uh, oh here's sex questions What does being aroused feel like for you? What are some of the sensations? What can I do to help you feel more aroused? Oh, that's interesting What can I do to improve the experience of the of your orgasm? After you have an orgasm, what do you need from me now? These were the sex questions for those in relationships, but card decks has a gazillion questions To help you out. So I hope that helps there d Zen gal says labeling poison analogy was great, you know, I came up with that on the fly But I really like that there's three bottles. You've got beer wine and cyanide, but it doesn't have a label Neither does our relationship and guess what that relationship is that could be cyanide because it doesn't have a label Thanks so much then gal Jennifer lee writes question What a man a man who is jewish However, does not practice his religion or celebrate any holidays of any kind not even birthdays anniversary Seems like a joyless life to me Well, that's a judgment to assume me well first off That's a projection to assume me as a joyless life. Okay Some people don't recognize their culture. Some people don't recognize their religion You know, I'll be candid with you. Um, I was my parents are from istanbul turkey And growing up I I actually was embarrassed to be turkish not only embarrassed A shame, but I was scared to be turkish. Now. Let me explain why So when I was 12 years old here in los angeles My my parents and I went to go spend time at the turkish council general's home and I spent time with his children And we had a great weekend together We had a great time we played and a week later the council general died from a bombing at his At his office him and the vice council general. I can't remember this was around 1970 74 Something like that in los angeles. I don't remember the time I remembered at that moment. I was scared to be turkish. I was scared to tell anyone I was turkish for fear of being bombed I had that fear growing up for for 30 40 years of my life I had this fear of ever telling anyone I was turkish Because of the judgment certainly after 9 11 I was reluctant to tell people that my parents my my parents were on the european side anyways They weren't on the middle east side or the the asia side not that that matters But you know, there's this bias this judgment so There might be a deeper story there jennifer there might be something that might be worth exploring Because his reluctance might be because of a wound that happened in his childhood And for me it took courage for me to share it publicly with you because Folks, you know, I carried a lot of shame for probably 30 40 years Didn't make me a bad person. I didn't have a joyless life because of it I just had a wound that needed time to heal and maybe jennifer He's in the same boat. Can anyone relate to this? Could do you have a wound from your childhood? Raise your hand That was so deep that it's caused you to maybe withdraw from your religion to withdraw from your culture I don't I think this is more common than you realize jennifer. So That's just my rough two cents on that one. So thanks so much Uh, it doesn't say question, but i'm assuming this has a question. Oh, she typed it later Dating a guy six dates now don't have a lot in common, but he treats me nicely He even told me I could ask him for dates. Do all men cuddle kiss on dates? I do like him makes me laugh Yeah, my first date with marie. We cuddle with each other. We kissed each other That's a very common thing when two people feel a spark. They feel chemistry.   Okay. It's intimate. It's an expression of affection Um, could we kiss someone and get highly attached to them? possibly Certainly when we have sex with someone we can get very attached to them So I don't think it's a big deal that it happens on a first second or third date But it it's all a bit not but and you just have to do what's right for you.  You don't have a lot in common That's not a good sign if you don't have a lot of common but you know Folks, why is it called dating? Dating is an evaluating period to see if two people get along with one another to explore a relationship And it sounds like you're on the right track. So there you go. Good luck with that one Tanya writes perhaps phone is off so their location is not tracked. Oh, that's an interesting one all right Wanda writes I sent a new friend request to a guy that I thought I would like to get to know How long should I wait for him to answer? Or nor sort of regret it now I sort of regret it, but I'm trying to get out there Um, here's the thing I get friend requests all the time. I don't acknowledge most of them So it's not about you know, you if he responds great if it takes him a day a week a month or year You deal with it when it responds if it never responds. See in other words, you don't The fact that you reached out to him great And then you just you know, you what was that wrong code commercial set it and forget it you set it and now you forget it Remember that oven that you that you set the temperature and you forget about it because it's automatically going to work for you That's what you do in this place. Wanda You just set the intention and then you move on Okay, I hope that helps Susan uh question What if my partner who I'm intimate with and I see one to two times a week With past dramas willing to do therapy with me, but his ambition level and future capability lifestyle is uncertain Great question. So the fact he's willing to do therapy with you is a great sign At the end of the day though, it's funny. Marie and I were just talking about someone she was in a relationship with It turns out their lifestyles weren't compatible with one another You know, he just had a different scheduling to his life. She had a different scheduling to her life You know, sometimes two people aren't a fit because they can't blend their lives together If you're not familiar with my relationship iceberg Okay, folks, this is my relationship iceberg Above the water line is attraction. That's chemistry because it's the first thing you see Compatibility is is shared values blendable lifestyles and more importantly emotional maturity Now the fact that he's willing to go to therapy is a great sign So you really have to do more exploration on the lifestyles. Wait, I might make sure And and finding out if you share the same values and if it's uncertain guess what you do You ask more questions. That's what dating is all about It's a fact finding mission to determine if two people want to explore a relationship together Folks, you know, I've been talking a lot about the show the indian matchmaker Or indian matchmaking on netflix These are men and women who are intentional about being seriously in a relationship with someone And the matchmaker says look if you can get 60 percent of what you're looking for That's a great start because you can build on everything else, you know, listen Marie and I aren't perfect But we we both come to the table with something that I think is hugely hugely hugely important for a relationship And that is an agreeable personality. We both have agreeable personalities We we are very like we're very, you know, it's not She just sits back in her feminine energy and I do all the leading No, we take turns, you know leading what you know where we need to lead in this relationship And the other person is very agreeable to one another Agreeableness being a giver being having kindness having empathy having good character your actions matching words being playful and fun being intentional These are all the key ingredients to a healthy happy relationship.  Oh my god. I love doing that. You like the rolling stones. I've seen them in concert five times We're so compatible No, that's just familiarity Compatibility at the end of the day is are you willing to work on making the shifts to blend your lives together? That's sincere compatibility. Is this thinking in is this resonating? Please let me know Leaf puts out a request. Please hit the like button still only three likes and the 198 people are watching Yes, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel if you're brand new Evelyn weiss says question Oh, we already talked about that one. Thank you so much ah Tatya says Tatta says question you recommended taking a year out to do a deep dive into personal growth and spirituality However, I'm afraid to put dating on pause for a year because I'm getting old your opinion Well, I'm not sure if I depending on Okay If someone has some severe childhood wounds or adult traumas Taking a year after a relationship ended Is not a bad idea Okay If if you're just blanketing saying taking a year off to work on yourself keep in mind I you know Four seasons to work on oneself isn't a lot of time But the same time we oftentimes need a break to be disconnected to detox from somebody that was in our life So taking a year off and and the thing is look I have I have a client who's 78 years old 78 years old She's got five guys dating. She's literally dating five men right now. Okay.  There are a lot of people Falling in love in their 60s getting married getting engaged So I would say taking a little time to heal oneself is always a good strategy If it's coming off of a serious relationship. Okay. Hope that helps Elise writes I'm on a dating site guys keep asking for my number. Of course. I do not give it out What sign should I look for? Now if that's okay Well, Elise The first phone call is the first date if they've asked for your number What's wrong with that? That's how you get to know someone if I mean How are you gonna eventually meet them if you don't exchange phone numbers and talk on the phone schedule a date with one another? Folks this this methodology of everything via texting We got to stop it. We got to stop it. Stop it Let's go to a version of actually the first phone call is the first date So if someone if you've exchanged a couple emails with one another couple text messages jump on a phone call 10 15 20 minutes Maybe maybe a couple of them and then see if it makes sense to go out with one another That's my invitation for you All right Ah Question when do I ask him if sex is all he wants? We haven't gone to a third date third base, but have made out I want a relationship not a fling By the way, if you say to a guy coming listen go back to our title This kid infusing phrase is a major red flag If you ask a guy all he wants is sex. Guess what he's gonna say to you No, no guy's gonna be honest with that. He's gonna say I want a relationship Why aren't you asking the deeper questions go back and watch the beginning of this video I talked about this at length about the intent of asking deeper questions And if you need some support with that schedule a discovery call with me There's a link below to see if working with a coach is right for you. My job is to help you Craft the questions you should ask based on your personality to determine if you're right with someone and I can help you with that All right, we're gonna take one more question Oh, let's see crystal Is it normal for a man not to have introduced you to his kids after seven months of serious dating He had a bad marriage and he says he he is his way is He weighs things to be different You know, I think it's a tricky subject About children. I think it depends on the age of the children but more importantly how serious the relationship is So my suspicion is you guys are casually dating with one another You're getting occasional companionship occasional connection occasional sex But the two of you aren't building anything folks Let me say this if you're in midlife It takes three months to figure out if you want to explore a relationship with someone No more than three months if two people have spent a lot of time together in three months And they clearly state they want to explore a serious relationship with one another Then after that time they should be introducing the children somewhere four months six months in at the latest But you have to define what it is the two of you are doing That's the deeper question I'd be asking because the fact he hasn't introduced you to his children means you probably are getting a He's getting a cash occasional companionship Occasional sex and occasional connection All right. I think this will be the last one for the evening. We'll see Can you do a second youtube channel for some of us that need more work on your book self love? I can't afford professional Unemployed any suggestions. Oh my god. There are gazillion free videos on youtube, but I'm just going to make a simple suggestion Purchase the book the Hoffman process This is a deep dive into healing child. By the way, there's a link below to get a copy of all the books I recommend this a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas Okay, now I went to this This was eight days working on my stuff. This this could take you Six months to do all of this. Okay could take you three months could take you two months could take you a month But I would you don't need professional coaching this book is a requisite prerequisite For those of uh for those who want a serious healthy happy relationship Is this teaches you how to genuinely heal or at least begin the healing process to your childhood wounds and traumas? Okay, rebecca. I hope that helps This will be our last one for the evening. I think Is four years too far apart in age when you're both in your 60s 64 68 Absolutely not it is not too far apart. It's that's that's a no-brainer. That's easy Uh Let's keep going here question What about a guy that says two people don't need to know every don't need to know every day where they are red flag um You know, this is a tough one because I I think because we're meeting total strangers these days There's a lot of mistrust and it's it's it's certainly well placed mistrust I think to to be mistrusting is certainly Valid When you when when it's a total stranger so but I don't like keeping tabs on people either You know, it's funny So my girlfriend has a tesla and she we added the tesla app on my phone And I can see where she is when she's in her car and I jokingly say I know you made a left turn here I made a right turn there Now we do it because I'm usually driving her car and when we go charge it and that sort of thing But I don't like the idea of keeping tabs on someone I understand why we might need to be doing that, but I'm not a big fan of keeping tabs. So that's just my two cents on that Um This is uh from leaf. She says idea use discord It's a safer than phone number exchanges that you can talk Even long distance without any fees keep your number private Uh till you feel comfortable folks. I have a google number. That's another option to give out a google number um That you can literally you can get probably dozens of google numbers. I'm I'm assuming that so Um, I would definitely check that out google number or try what leaf says is discord All right Let's see moran. Okay. Here's this will might be our last one for the evening I'm dating a guy. I'm dating with a guy long distance relationship for two years now I'm a divorcee suddenly feeling a bit withdrawn and wanted to stop the relationship due to my past marriage How do you deal with this? Well, wait a minute I'm a divorcee feeling a bit withdrawn and wanting to stop the relationship To my past marriage. Well, you know, these are questions you have to ask yourself You know, you're in a long distance relationship. Probably doesn't feel very safe.  Is that fair to him? Ask yourself. Is it fair to him? If you have to take a break from the relationship take a break from the relationship I mean the fact is you're probably not seeing each other very much You're just talking on the phone all day, which is quite frankly folks I'm not a big fan of of long distance relationship. Yes I had a long distance relationship but in a hundred days. We saw each other 45 days Before we made the decision to move in together So we we did a lot in a short period of time long distance is a long drawn out version of Of cyber relationships, but at the end of the day, you have to make that decision for yourself. Okay All right Hey, you know what folks? I think this would be a great place to wrap up Did you get value out of this conversation this confusing phrase the most confusing phrase is not when a guy says I'm not looking for a serious relationship. The more confusing phrase is I'm looking for a relationship because How he defines it might be different than how you define it and red flags simply means ask deeper questions Is this sinking in is this resonating for this? Please hit that like button Please share this video with friends. Please subscribe to my channel in the description below You could schedule a discovery call with me You can join my membership group. Uh, you can follow me on on youtube's membership channel You can get my dating vows. All this stuff is in the link below All right, we're gonna wrap up today's videos. I always do first off give myself a big gigantic jonathan bearer good self love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love as well. That's okay I'm asking you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow There's a teddy bear give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love And let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives. I want to thank tanya and sherry and rebecca and leaf and mizan alayna and corny cob and sheila and lisa and charlene and crystal Uh and our new member everyone. Thank you so much. You be well. Bye now