This man standing to my right, my immediate right, can't miss him. He is making his valiant and triumphant return to the 21 convention stage. He came by last year and he's excited to be in Orlando. I know he's hopped a couple flights to get here, so he's a little exhausted. But we're going to have to prime from this stage, he's really excited to speak. So we guys get a lot out of it. This is the head of PUA Training US, Adam Lyonson. Take it away. Alright guys, so, here we are back in Orlando. I've got a whole bunch of stuff that I want to talk to you guys about today. Some are just my basic observations, some of it... I've found, I don't know if you guys agree with me, but I do a lot of these talks. I travel around the world and I go to all these different public speaking summits. And people talk a lot fluff, don't they? It's something that I've noticed, you sit there listening to someone chat for an hour. And the actual content that you can pull away that's useful for you is pretty much useless, right? And there's a reason for that, I'm sure of it. And I'm sure that reason is they're going to sell you a great product at the end of it that's going to have all of that great information in that they kind of hinted about.  And what I'm going to do is I'm going to give you guys two very specific topics and I'm going to try and teach them in their entirety. I don't plan on selling you guys anything, but what I do want to do is give you a whole bunch of free stuff on top of the two lessons. So the only website that I want you to take note of, I would like to write down, is www.pua-training.com forward slash under 21. I spoke to Gambler in the UK and I've got them to give away a whole bunch of their really expensive paid material for you guys. You can just go on there and that will be unique for you, nobody else on the website knows about it, it's only for the people in this room. You can get all that stuff for free, and that's specifically for the under 21 guys. And then like I said during the talk, I want to take you guys through two topics that I'm kind of in love with at the moment, but I want to teach. And the first of these topics is the one I'm going to start with, which is closing. Now there is a massive problem in this community, right? And I noticed it a couple of years ago, and the problem I had a couple of years ago was that dudes didn't hang around with girls. They just hung around with other guys. I came out and I stood there, I stood on stage. I'd been in the community for a while, no one knew who I was.   And since being in the community the more I've looked at it, the more I've analyzed it, I've realized there is a new problem. Serial openness. Guys that run around opening, right? I mean this is the nicest way, I really don't want to pick on somebody, because he seems like a genuine guy, but there was a minute before I came up, the guy that's MCing said, has anyone got any great stories that happened last night? And this guy goes, yeah, this opener I used, and he told this story of this opener. And it was a funny opener, he's like, put your hand over it, that was me.  And that's funny, okay, I get it. But that was the end of the story, he opened. And I see it, I go to these venues, I see these poors running around, opening people, and they're so serious about it. Dude, I got a guy email me, I beat my level, I opened a thousand sets last week. Basically you irritated a thousand women, that's what you did.  They're so concerned with how many they opened. I got people email me, Adam, I've got this problem. I opened this goal using this line, what do you think I should use? On boot camps, do you know what most PUA instructors consider a demo? If you open. Before I got married, when I demoed, I did it specifically to close. I'd make out with the chick, I'd look at the student and go, did you see how easy that was? That was my idea of a demo. Open, but other PUA's like, well, you should be able to just randomly go up to people and open them. No, you shouldn't, that's opening, that's annoying, that's irritating. Don't open people if you're not going to do anything with it. Close, and that's a massive issue. That's a problem that the community has. And I wanted to address it. Before I do, I want to warn you about some of the hazards of closing. Now, I know that a lot of my really good friends love my stories on stage and some of them have heard this one. The majority of the people in this room won't have. I'm going to warn you in advance, if you have a little bit of a sickly stomach, if you're somebody that doesn't like graphic descriptions, you probably want to put your fingers in your ears for this next story. I don't want to tell you about the hazards that come from closing. I met this girl, gamed her very well, and we eventually end up back in my place. Now, there are a number of little, what I love is how all different events come together to cause problems. And if you guys know this, you go, oh, just do that. That doesn't matter. And, oh, got that going on. But when they come together, everything falls apart. And in this one particular incident, I thought everything was great. I brought the chick home. She was ready for a same night like that. It's all right? Not bad. And I just perfected my squirting technique. So I'd learn how to successfully make pretty much any girl squirt. Now, you'd think this would be a really good combination, right? But I added another factor because, you know, you got to do that. My flatmate wasn't him. And I thought you don't be really funny. It would be to do it on his bed. So not that my bed was full. My bed was empty. I just, you know, wanted to do it on his. So if he is watching the video, Amog Scott, I love you very much. Although he doesn't know this happened as you're about to find out. So she's lying on the bed. And normally when a girl squirting, I get lying on their back, right? But I thought, again, I'll add something else as mixed. Let's get one of all fours. Why not? All four squirting, it sounds like fun. What I'd effectively created without knowing it was some kind of rudimentary projectile device. Because she's on all fours, right? We were asked up in the air. And so I'm going at it. But yeah, I'm good. I'm going at it.  And I'm like, no, that's OK. It's supposed to happen. Sorry about that. Relax. Let it happen. So she does.  Now, I kind of knew that was going to happen. It was kind of going to be funny. You know, what I didn't expect was for her to come on at the same time. And so she had period stains all over the bed that squirted out the back of her. And that's kind of possibly the most gross thing that ever happened to me in the game. And you think I'd be proud, right? I closed. Same when I lay. Great. Not so great, actually. Funny enough. Closing has problems, OK? You're worried about opening. You're worried about the closing problems. They're more expensive, OK? You have to pay for cleaning bills and stuff. Like, closing problems are much harder. But closing is where the fun is. Closing is where the funny stories happen.  You're just running around speaking to girls and not doing anything about it. And it's just another form of anxiety. Like, there is nothing wrong with opening girls. Everybody in this room, some of you might think, I've still got AA. You're always going to have AA. It doesn't go away. You just kind of get over it. You kind of just push past it. And you open. I suspect that almost everyone in this room has opened at least once if you've done it once. You can do it again. It's not a problem. The problem comes when the closing. And a lot of people have that issue. Some incredibly big gurus that do talks all around the world. I know for a fact have a problem with closing. They have sexual anxiety. They have issues that lead up to it. And I was talking to one of the guys in the audience. I said that I was going to break down today some core elements that you've got to make sure you do before you guys close. I don't know if you guys are aware of how lucky you are. Obviously all being in Orlando in Florida. You guys have some incredibly great PUA's to learn from. Now I'm not often over here. I come over here to do the 21 convention and to go to Disney World. They're like the main reason I come to Florida. But you guys have got some really good instructors to learn from. And I know some of them have given talks over the weekend and some have done before. And I want to mention them now because I want you guys to realize these are three people that I know don't have a problem with closing. And they're people that live in your area. So they're people that you definitely want to meet and hang out with. One of them is Sin. Sin is a really good friend of mine and I promise you that guy does not have a problem with closing. If you've met him, you'll know. You can see the kind of person he comes across as.  He's going to go for it. Spear in Miami is another great guy. Somebody else who really doesn't have a problem with closing. Whatever you may think of his methods or the way that he goes about or potentially his dress he's not going to pick on him about his dress. He's a friend of mine, but you know, whatever. He's a good friend. The point is, he does close. And the guy that from P-Way Training has been up here, Psych, but I know he's given a talk already. There's a guy that can close. They all live in Florida. That's really cool. I'm sure they would love me right now to pitch their programs. Don't just take them out for a drink. Get them drunk. They'll teach them for free. All three of those guys drink. When they get a little bit of whiskey in them for free lessons. I don't even want to learn about game. I just want to get you drunk. And then, start asking them.  It's a great thing to do. Especially as they really do know what they're talking about. But I want to help you. I want to give you something while I am here. And I want to take you through some steps of closing.  And I do want to, excuse my friend, I do want to help you through these things. The first thing you're going to realize is it's a logistical problem. I would say nine times out of ten the reason you're not getting laid is a logistical problem. And this student comes up to me one day. He goes, Adam, I've got this problem. I can never bring a girl back to my place. So I'm like, what do you do? Do you have a justified reason? I start going through everything. And he goes, yeah, I've got all that. I've got all that. And I'm saying, I don't understand why you can't get this girl back to your place. Like, what's the problem? Like, is there anything unusual about your house? I should know. He goes, oh yeah, I live two and a half hours away from the nightclub. I'm like, well, that would be it, mate. I'm like, that would be your problem then. You have a logistical issue. And he goes, yeah, but right, if I've gamed her well enough she'll just want to come back, right? Yeah. If you've gamed her well enough over a month, perhaps. That two and a half hour journey is long and boring at the end of the night of fun and drinking and merriment. It's enough time to sober up. It's enough time to get so well acquainted that you could in the back of the cab on the way home. Let alone wait until you get home. In fact, the cab is a better logistical offer than your house. You've got to plan it. Like, you've got to take into account these logistics.  You haven't planned for them. Me, my logistics were always completely, perfectly flawless. I set everything up to a T before I went out. Lights, music. Everything was set up. And I'm going to take you through how I would go about setting things up before I left my house. Do you know why I did it before I left my house? I did it so it would be ready for when I came home. I also put pressure on myself because I know that I've set up my house to be well suited for me when I come home to get laid.  So it always encouraged me to make sure I actually did something about it that I brought somebody home. And I'm going to take you through it. What I did in my house was I set up the lighting so that by the front door, it was really, really light. But in my bedroom, there was a low glow. And throughout the rest of the house, it was like teared by this. So each room got slowly lighter as you got to the front door. The reason is if I had mood light on when you walk into my house, the first thing you do is turn the light switches on. It would kill any hope I had of creating that sexual mood. So I had the light switch on by the front of the house. So it should come in. It would be bright. I'd be like, this is my house. Oh, lovely. I'd be like, hey, let me take you through to the next room. And as you walk down, the light's a bit dimmer. And dimmer, and dimmer, until she's in the bedroom. See? That's how it works.  Now, the next thing is music.   They don't know what's up. Oh, my God. She's in my house. I better find some music. And then they're going to spend half an hour looking through iTunes. No good, no good, no good. I had a playlist set up specifically for bringing a chick home. The way it went through was the first few tracks were quite nice, upbeat club tracks that continued from the nightclub. And then they slowly moved down lower and lower and lower until about 12 songs down when it was like slow pumping music. And that's how it would work. I would have that entire thing going through my house. And I just had this playlist.  Okay? That's not cool. You go, I'm just going to put some music on.   Whatever. It's bad. It's bad all round. Okay? Call it something cool. I think mine's called, like, chill out. That's a nice thing, chill out. That was a good name. So I can't have a name for it and then you just walk in. I go, I'm just going to play whatever I was listening to earlier. Play. Yeah, some rock tracks. I was listening to it before going out. Whatever it is, yeah? So you've got that entire thing just easing over the music playing. The next thing you want to sort out, you want to make sure that your bedroom's in a good state. You don't want her to come in to find some leftover stains from a girl that you had on all fours earlier. Yeah? Clean up. Keep your room in a nice state so that when she comes in, it looks good. It looks like you can look after yourself. I was talking earlier about the little clues that you'll give away to a girl that says you have no females in your life. A messy flat is one of them. When a girl comes into your apartment, if it's a state, she's going to be like, oh my God, you need to tidy this up. I have a female friend that when she comes to my house, she cleaned the whole thing just because she couldn't stand to sit in dirt. I used to write her over for lunch. She'd be like, come over Thursday afternoon. She'd be like, why? I'm going out Thursday evening. And she'd be like, I don't get it. I'd be like, no, it's fine. Just come over. I'll make lunch. And she'd sit there. Oh my gosh, your dishes. I just have to do them. Oh, all right. Oh my God, the Hooverie. When was the last time you Hoovered? I think, actually, you were the last one to Hoover. Two weeks ago? Yeah, yeah. I'll do that for you. All right. Okay. And that was great. That was the nicest relationship we had. She'd clean my whole house. I'd go clubbing in the evening, come back, clean house, plan it out, make sure everything's right. Women would, they'd do that. They'd groom guys. You've seen it. If you're talking to a girl and your collar's like this, that kills them. I'm saying, there's like three girls in the room. I've got my collar like this and they're going like this. All they want to do is come up here and fix this. They do. They groom people. They try and help you look better, right? That's what they're specifically looking to do. So you're going to give away the fact that you've got absolutely zero skills with women if those little touches are wrong. The final thing that was incredibly important, I made sure that by the side of my bed were condoms. You've had that problem.  Oh my God, I've got no condoms. I've got no nods at that.  That means you had no anticipation of getting laid. You assumed you weren't going to get it. You were just like, yeah, I'm not going to get laid so I don't need condoms.  Jarrett's like, I've got it in my pocket, actually. It's like, I keep it here. Make sure you've got them in the right place where you're going to need them, right? Another thing that I had specifically is when I went out clubbing, I used to bring my motorcycle with me. I brought a spare. I brought a spare because in England it was illegal for somebody to ride as a passenger on a motorcycle with that helmet. If I didn't have a spare helmet, I couldn't bring it home. I said something about myself when I went out with two helmets. I said I'm bringing the gold home. Every night I went out with two helmets and every night I came back with a chick. Plan your logistics. Logistics is the one thing that will mess you up, okay? The one thing. I had this, this, one of my, one of my instructors comes up at my apartment, at my hotel room at like 2 a.m. with these four chicks and another guy. And they come back and he comes up to me and he's like, Adam, are you sleeping? I'm like, I was. And he goes, okay. I've got some chicks back to the room. I'm going to set up a freesome. I'm like, I think it's going to be a bit hard. He's like, why? I'm like, because I'm in the room. And he's like, yeah, no, we'll find it. We'll find it. I'll keep it quiet. All right. So he brings the girls back to the room. They spend an hour in the room trying to have a quiet party with no music. And then the girls leave because it's a bit freaky. And the next morning he says, I think I know what I did wrong. I was like, what's that? He goes, I shouldn't have brought them to the room. I said, no, you shouldn't have.  And I think in his head he thought that bringing them to AFC Adam would make it easier to sleep with them. I don't know. I think that was just thinking. I think it was like, I want to have a freesome. And AFC Adam is my friend. And I know what room he's in. So I'll bring the freesome to his room. Then I'll definitely get it.  But it doesn't work that way. Poors can't have that ability to like, welcome, I bless this freesome. Make it happen. I don't have that. Not that I know of. Not that I know of. So maybe Neil Strauss starts. I don't. He's higher than me. I don't know. But whatever. And it was a logistical problem. He needed to take them somewhere where they would be okay with it. He had to go somewhere else.  So look after logistics. If you're going to look after anything, look after logistics. Logistics can get you laid as well. If you plan your logistics right, and we're going to talk about this, if you've got a justified reason to do absolutely everything, if you can justify bringing her back to your house, and then you can justify playing the music and you can justify the sex. It's all going to happen. So logistics can be a very big beneficial thinking. All right. She's not going to make this easy for you.  If she's making it easy for you, beware. Okay? Because you're probably not the first person she's made it easy for. And STDs are really contagious. So be very careful if she's making it that easy. You don't want it to be easy. You want it to be a challenge.   You want to make it happen. You've got to make sure that you're leading the situation. She ain't going to do it.  So you're going to have to make sure that you're controlling these situations, guiding her through and making sure that you're pushing forward for the next step. One of the best ways of doing this is to be empathic. Now, this is something that I've noticed makes great pullers different from people that aren't great pullers. It's the ability to observe someone's facial expressions and tone of voice and language and understand what emotion that person's feeling. I can talk to a girl and very quickly I can tell whether she's completely freaked out by me or if she's attracted. My experience of talking to so many women has helped me with that. And by being empathic to what she's thinking, I know how to handle problems. And what I try and do is I take the experience of a past problem I fucked up and I use it to help with a future problem. An example of this, I was walking a girl back to my house and it never even occurred to me but on the way to my house I have to walk through an alley. It didn't even figure I walked through a dark alley to go to my house. My house was five minutes away from the nightclub. I lived close to the nightclub and there was a shortcut that shaves half an hour of the journey through a dark alley at 2 a.m. with a girl that I've never met before. The first time I walked the girl through there she physically recoiled. She walked through the alley like this. It took me half an hour to calm her down afterwards.  I'm sorry. She reads about it all the time. I like, you know, random guy, he's cute, brings me to his house that supposedly five minutes from the club, takes me down an alley. It was me. I thought it was going to happen. She's like, I need a moment. And she's like drinking. And so I realised that this alley was going to hinder my gaming effort.  Well, if she was attracted to me, it wouldn't matter, right? I've got attraction.    That's not really going to help, actually. So instead, you deal with the objection and you deal with it in advance. I could spend half an hour fixing the problem afterwards or I could know that that alley is an issue. And what you do is you disqualify it. You disqualify the situation.  And they're looking at me like that because they see that word written down on websites a lot. Just disqualify, you'll be fine. Disqualify, great. Wait, what is that word? What does that even mean? When you're disqualifying a situation, what you're really trying to do is you're going to make it very clear that it isn't a problem in advance of the situation. And there are a number of different ways of doing it. My personal favorite is to kind of make it exaggerated.  And you can make it bigger in a positive way or a negative way. For example, I'll be walking down the alley and I'll suddenly say to the girl, oh my God, there is a really dark alley. And that's the only way to my house. You're not a mass murderer, are you?    Look, it's an alley, see? And I'm like, oh, great. Oh, no problem. She looks after me. You go back to the alley. Oh my God. They could be like vampires or werewolves, like hiding around. Even worse, zombies. They could be zombies, like completely filling this alley. I'd die. Would you protect me? Of course I'd protect you. Bam. I'd go through the alley.  That's not going to help you get laid. Okay, I promise you I got laid a lot by that. But just in case you need to do it the other way and make yourself feel really big and manly, you can do it the other way.  Could you do me a favor? I didn't bring a gag today. Could you just hold your lips quiet as I'm stabbing you? Would that be okay? Because what kind of a killer is going to tell the person first?  Don't be silly. And then you walk down the alley. Fine, no problem. Exaggerate the situation. You can even go, wait. There's an alley here. I'll protect you. It doesn't matter. You're disqualified by the situation. You know it's a problem. You deal with it first. Be empathetic. You don't have to be psychic.  Okay, every time I speak to... Like, I had this one guy, he speaks with a lisp all the time. He's got a problem with a lisp. And he knows that's a problem of communicating with girls. He knows it's an issue.  So physically. He doesn't bother with the verbal stuff. He keeps it all very much a sexual kind of dancey kind of thing. Because he knows the lisp is a problem. He can't go to a loud club and be very clever with words because he has an issue with the way he speaks that people can't hear him properly. He just deals with it. He disqualifies the situation. He just renders it completely pointless. When he does speak to them, he disqualifies it again. And he'll make a point of it. He'll exaggerate it. He'll be like, hey, look, just so you know, I've got a bit of a lisp. You might not be able to hear me properly. But he's already got attraction because she loves him. So she'll just be like, oh, it's fine. I can make do. He works around it. Or he just acts like it isn't a problem because he's dealt with the situation and generated the attraction first. Whichever way he's going to do it, disqualification is a very powerful tool to have. Especially when you're trying to lead somebody down dark houses or whatever. So, so you disqualify the situation. You've led them down. What else can you do? What other things can you do to make it happen? False choices. False choices are one of the best ways of leading somebody. You ever tried this thing?  That's not a great choice because there's a yes or no involved. And if she says no, you're kind of screwed because she doesn't want a drink.  Instead, you could say to her, hey, what's your favorite drink? When she answers that question, the act of answering it implies that you now have a positive chance of taking it from that drink. So she goes, I like vodka cranberry. Oh, great, you know what? Listen, I really fancy vodka red bull.  Let's go. You lead the situation. In her head, she's just made a decision about it. Except the decision wasn't whether she'd go or not. It was which of the drinks she was going to have. You bypass the whole problem. I used to bring girls back to my house by cooking pancakes or waffles because I just so happened to be good at cooking either pancakes or waffles. So what I'd say to the girls before bringing them back, I'd be like, hey, do you like pancakes or waffles? And the girl would be like, pancakes, right? I make the best pancakes. Actually, I don't want to say it, but they're some of the best in the world.  I think you'll never be able to find pancakes as good as these. And she goes, how do I even know? I haven't even tested them. All right, it's on. It's on. I'm going to make some pancakes. In fact, I'm hungry now.  I'll take you back to my house. Lead the situation. Give these folks choices. They make everything so much easier. I gave a talk a while back, and at the end of it, I gave a qualification I used to give to girls.  You're a pretty cool chick. And I'm definitely attracted to you. And because I had pre-selection, I'd say to girls.  You're the one that I like. But I'm going to have to ask you a question. And I want you to think very carefully, because your response to this question is going to tell me whether you're the girl that I'm taking home tonight or whether I'm going to keep partying here and finding somebody better. And she's like, okay, okay? She's in the question. I'm like, I don't want to hear one word answer out of you, okay? And when you mess me around, there's a serious question that's close to my heart. At this point, I lock in and put up against the wall. She's like, okay, okay? All right. Spit or swallow? She looks at me with serious. She's like, uh... swallow? It doesn't matter, right? If she says spit, I'll be like, okay, good, good, yeah. It doesn't matter, right?  Spit or swallow, whatever. As long as I can't, I don't care. Okay, so lead the situation. Give them false choices. Like, we had this great one. We do this test. I don't know if you guys have seen dating science on YouTube. If you haven't seen it, it's my personal hobby. Thank you, the one fan. Dating science is a TV show we made, specifically for YouTube, about psychology experiments. And one of the experiments is about how to make somebody compliable. And we've followed this study by Stanley Milgram. The show's on YouTube. You can watch it. It's free. But the experiment was done by Stanley Milgram that came up with, if you give somebody a justified reason for something, they're that much more likely to comply. And in the test, we went up to girls and said, can I have that seed? We had a 100% rate of if you asked a girl for a seed, she said no. Which proves something to us. One, if you don't have a justified reason, then you've got a very low chance of making it happen. And two, women will not give up their seed.  She's like, no. Not one, not one. Hi, could we have that seed? No, actually. No, women are defensive about their seeds. They're not going to have. So then we gave her justification. I'm sorry to bother you. Can I have that seed? Just I've got a bad leg. This is a believable justification. They go, oh yeah, of course. No problem. Grab a seed. She said, just sit there. What's really funny is we also had a 100% compliance rate when we said, can I have that seed because I have a nose? They went, yeah, no, no problem. Thanks, thanks. No, sit down. They need a justification. So leading girls by justification is actually a really powerful tool to have because they've got to justify it in their head. Why am I doing this again? What's this for? And it doesn't always have to make sense. One of my friends in London, he's not even a poor anymore, which is such shame because I think he's engaged, but he's a great guy. And he met this chick and he isolated her out of the venue and just started walking her home. I think he took her out of the venue to have a cigarette outside of her. And she started walking her home and she started going with him. And then she starts going, where are we going? And he's like, all right, we're fine. Where are we going? Where are we going?  And he knew he needed a justification.  She goes, okay. He lives in London. The only thing out of his window are tramps in the street below. And maybe a Starbucks. That is the closest to a dolphin she's going to see is the sea-made woman on the Starbucks logo. That is it. But she's like, okay, yeah, no problem. She's from London. She knows there are no dolphins outside his window. She just needed that peace of mind. I'm not going to give you my chair. Oh, you have a nose. Oh, fuck, sorry. Yeah, I didn't notice. I'm sorry. Here's the seat. They need that justification. So you're going to have to give it to them. You're going to have to think about why you do it and justify everything. What's really funny is if you watch that TV show, the guy that does it is one of my students. He goes up and does all these experiments. And at the end, he goes, I can't believe it.  I can make him do everything.  And we've videoed him saying some of this stuff on camera. And he goes, I'm amazing. He goes Adam, you've transformed me. He's like, I've been working with you and I'm going to have a drink. And he goes, I'm going to do some dance floor game. I'm like, OK, cool, man. So he goes up to this chick and he goes, do you want to go for a dance? And she goes, no. I slapped him.  I was like, you just did this whole filming for two hours with me. And you're going to go, do you want to dance? Justify it. Do you want to dance? I've got two feet. Whatever you say, it doesn't matter. Justify it. If you don't justify it, she's not going to go along. She's not going to follow you. You need to have a justification for what you're doing and what you're going to. And it is a little bit easier if that justification is believable. It is. They just, they need to know. They need you to make it a little bit easier for them. And I've got to catch all justification I do use. And it's one that I want to teach you guys. And it will be fine, trust me. And I love this one again because Stanley Milgram, the psychologist, he did another experiment. And he did an experiment into compliance. And I don't know if you guys know this test. And you will, they had a box. And on this box were a number of switches. And each of the switches would give an electric shock to the person in the other room. Did you guys know this study? Yeah, good. And he found that the majority, or a lot of people were very comfortable hitting a switch that would kill the other person. They believed it would kill them. It didn't actually go on, but they believed it. And a lot of people would do that just because they were told to. And it would increase even higher if the person doing the study would take the responsibility. Now, as a PUA, this is very important. Because one of the tools that you can use is you can take the responsibility of the situation. And it's something that we are going to talk about. But before we go into it, I do want you to understand. If you aren't leading these situations, if you aren't controlling it and making it happen, or allowing her to follow you, then she really isn't going to go along with what you want. You're not going to end up closing. And the entire aim for this is to make sure that you're getting these closers, right? If you're just running around opening chicks and talking to them, you're not going to get anywhere. You've got to start planning it out and making sure it happens. And at the end, I am going to tell you, through how you can use the taking responsibility to make sure they do go along with a lot of things. But you don't just want to rely on that one line. You don't just want to be taking responsibility. You want to also be allowing them to kind of take control. You want her to think of it as her idea. One of the things that I like to do, like I said, I like to take us home to have pancakes or waffles while having breakfast. And the way I do it is I don't just say, should I have pancakes or waffles. I get talking about food. I get talking about food about two hours before the end of the night. So she gets hungry. Because you're in a club for four hours, five hours. And there's no food. And I know if I talk about food about two hours before the end of the club, she's going to be hungry at the end. And then all I have to do is just towards the end of the night. Because I've been talking about food earlier on, I'm hungry, I could kill like a Big Mac right now. Right now. Big Mac. Yeah, that's what I want. And the girl would be like, I know what you mean. I get talking about food. I keep chatting and laughing.  Personally, I know other people specialise in it, not my thing. I want to take her home. I want my bed. I want my music. I want to sleep after all. So I make sure that I talk about food then just before the end of the night. I'll say to her, hey, pancakes or waffles? She's like, pancakes? Why? I'll be like, make the best pancakes. And then at the end of the night, I'm hungry. We've already had this conversation. I lead her to my house. I take her out of the venue. I go, hey, look, my place is just around the corner. I'll walk you back there. Or have you ever been on a motorbike? I'll take you for a nighttime ride on the streets. It's amazing. Stick her on my bike and start driving through. My very first talk I gave, I gave an example of how I used to bring girls home on my bike. I would literally get the girl to say, oh, give me a ride on your bike. I'd start taking her for a ride and be like, oh, can you take me home? I'd be like, oh, I don't want to. Can you take me home? Give me a ride home. I don't want to, man, are you annoying me?  I don't want to take you home. Please drive me home. Please on the bike. Oh, come on. Because they don't want to get a cab or sit in a bus all the way home. They want a ride, you know, and being on a motorbike is cool. So I'd turn around and say, all right, fine. I'll give you a ride. Okay. And I'd pull up outside my house. I'd get off and take my bike home at home. And she looked at me and she was like, what are we doing here? I'm like, we're going inside. She's like, this isn't my house. So why are we here? She goes, I thought you were taking me home. I am taking you home. Taking you home in the morning. Like, I'm going to sleep first.  I told you I was tired while I was sleeping. You can have a spare bed or something. It'll be fine. Justify it and bring them home. Get them into the house. And besides, I'm going to make you those most amazing pancakes you've never had before. So then we bust out the pancakes. I cook pancakes for her. She eats the pancakes. I make up my bed for her. And I make up my bed for myself on the couch. She's a justified reason to sleep over. She's not freaked out. She knows what I'm doing, right? I'm sleeping in a different bedroom. I'm making out with her. I sit in her room, my bedroom, in my bed, next to her, where the lighting's all set up, kissing her, making out with her, turning her on, slowly building it up, in a dark room. No one knows how we got there. It's an in-joke for everyone in the crowd. She's turned on. It's going to happen. Hmm. So what I want to do is make sure that I'm leading that situation. And if you guys want to get close, you're going to have to create this. What I talk to my personal students about is creating a funnel. You want to create a system where you can lead to one situation where you're going to close. So you know in order for you to make it happen, you have to first get her out of the venue. That's the first thing you've got to do. It really doesn't matter what you do in the club. It doesn't matter where she's going. Because your real aim isn't to F-close her. It's to get her out of the venue with you going somewhere else. And food is a really good justification. So you're both hungry. You go out.  Maybe you bounced to a Chinese restaurant to get takeaway.  I don't know. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. But you need to be able to get her from the club to that place first. Whatever. Get her to the taco stand. You're both eating tacos. Explain you're cold. Tell her you'll give her a ride somewhere. Tell her you want to show your music collection. Because your next aim after getting her out for food is to get her to your place. So now you need a new justification. Maybe you've got the food to go and you want to go and eat it somewhere warm. Think about it. Sit down with a pen and paper. We're all geeks. If you're in this room you're probably a geek. Get pen and paper. Map it out. Draw a diagram. Do something fun. Do the fun part. Create it. Calculate it. What could she say? What is the best way? What is the best way of making sure these things happen? Plan it out.   Watch YouTube videos. Escalate. Turn her on. Kiss her neck. Get her into your bedroom. The easiest way of getting her into your bedroom? Set up a bed for her. Make a bed for yourself in a different room. Then just go into bed with her. Doesn't matter. She just needs to be able to justify it. To rationalize everything. And one of the best ways of getting her to comply is to take responsibility. And the line that I absolutely love using. Everyone's like, Adam, what's your best line? What's your best line? And I know they're talking about what is your best opener. I know that's what they mean. I know they're like, what is your best line? They want to hear me say, do you know where the nearest Starbucks is? They want to hear that. But that is not my best line. Did you know most women cannot remember the very first thing you say to them? The opener is actually irrelevant. RSD have proved the opener is irrelevant. Salads and croutons, I don't even understand. But it works, right? Why does it work? Because the opener doesn't matter. You want a line that really works? You want to take responsibility. And one of the best ways of doing it is, don't worry about it. Trust me. Don't worry about it. Trust me. It's probably my favorite line of all time. Don't worry about it. Trust me. It'll be fine. It'll be okay. Don't worry about it. It's on me. I've got it covered. It'll be okay. It'll be fine. Reassure them you're taking the responsibility. You're controlling it. By making that justification and taking the responsibility, she's going to feel very comfortable with you. And I've got a bit of a story that I'm going to wrap up before we do a bit of a Q&A on this with. And it's about a particular goal. And I think this was personally my best set. I think of every single goal that I've ever met, this was the one where everything came together perfectly. And the illustration of it is how far it's to happen. Well, you could consider taking a really long time, depending on which way you live there. I met this chick and she was a straight up. To me, she was an easy nine, maybe a 10. She was tall. She was from Latvia. She had very slim waist. She had massive breasts. She was blonde. She was very intelligent. There's like, I mean, fist pumps in the crowd. So she was very, very hot shape. And I met her in a nightclub. And I start gaming her. I make out with her. And I swap contact details with a plan to me the next day. And she tells me that she's going back to Latvia the next day and she can't possibly meet. So the next day she goes back to Latvia. And that's it. And I can admit that when I first met her, my game wasn't where I am now. I wasn't what it was.  I'm like, no way. There she is. It turns out this is an annual thing. Every year she comes to London for a week with her friends and parties. So here she was again.  This is, I've become known in the community now.  I go up to her, I'm like, hey. And she's like, like, she doesn't even know me. Literally like she doesn't know me.  I don't even know you. And I just didn't even pop up with anybody.  I know you know who I am. What's up? And she goes, you caught me. And so we get talking, right? We're laughing, we're joking. It takes about three or four minutes before I've escalated up This time I tell her, I've got to go. I've got to meet some friends of mine. We're going to a party tonight. I've got to go, and I can't invite you as a private thing. But I want to see you again. And she goes, I leave tomorrow. Sorry. I'm going to door about it. I want to take you for the best coffee I've ever had. Do you like coffee? She's like, yeah. I was like, I'm going to take you to the most amazing coffee place. Just half hour for coffee. And she goes, all right, come down for that. I'm like, cool. Here's the time and place to mine. I'm just stopping flakes. This is not 100% guaranteed to stop flakes.  Which to me is more important. In the morning, I text them.  I text them in the morning. That gives them the chance to reply. Oh, actually, I can't make it. It gives them the chance to get out of it without me saying, are we still on? Just so you know, terribly sorry. So she replies back, no problem. Same meeting place? I'm like, yeah, I'll see you there. So we meet at this train station. I meet her at the train station and make out with her as soon as I see her. Why? To remind her that the night before, we made out. And make sure that happens because I specifically want her to remember and to know that I'm about to escalate really freaking fast because I have half an hour to get this check. That is it. And I only made out with her after five minutes of meeting her night before after not seeing her for a year when I only spoke to her for 10 minutes. So this is all very fast in reality. We start walking down the road. We turn around the corner and we go into my house. And she goes, whoa, what are we doing here? I thought you were going to take me to a coffee shop. I said, no, no, no, I said I was going to take you for the best coffee you've ever had. Is there anything about it being in a coffee shop? It's going to be the best coffee. And she goes, all right, so she comes into my house. Now I realize I have a problem. This is where I realized that I'm going to rely on my game very heavily because I can't really make coffee. And in fact, don't have any coffee in my house.   This is about closing. I don't want to make her come coffee.  I don't need coffee without that. They're different. So I bring her into my house. I put some music on her and start dancing with her. And I go into the kitchen and I put the kettle over her because I'm pretty sure that coffee starts with hot water. That's part of it. I know that's part of it. I put a lot of water in there. That takes longer to boil. I don't know if you know that, but it does. So there's a lot of water boiling. I turn the music on and start laughing and kissing her neck. She goes, what are you doing? I say to her, don't worry about it, it'll be fine. Trust me. So she goes, okay. We're dancing, we're kissing. Hey, let me show you something and I take her hand. She goes, what do you want to show me? I'm like, oh, it's in the other room.  If a girl ever says to you, she's not going to sleep with you. Do you know what that means? It means she's going to sleep with you. So we walk around and we go back into my bedroom. We're now in my bedroom and I push her down on the bed. She's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm just showing you my bed. And she's like, oh, I'm like, look, don't worry about it, it'll be fine, trust me.   That's a very powerful thing. She's getting turned on and I start putting my hand in between her legs and really getting her wet. So she's sitting there, she's lying there and she looks at me and she says to me, just what are you doing? I was like, it's pretty obvious, I'm turning you on. And I go, look, don't worry about it, it'll be fine, trust me. She's like, okay.  So I'm playing with those and kissing her, it's getting a bit more hot and heavy. And I start to pull her underwear down, her trousers, so pants, you guys don't wear trousers.  Now, I don't know about you guys, I've got a thing. A, I don't like really dealing with LMR because I believe if a girl wants you, she should want you. B, I would never take a chick that says no. So I'm kind of in this problem that A, I'm trying to do this really, really fast and it's kind of freaky even for me. And B, she just said no. So I think really, really quickly and I probably come up with the cleverest thing I've ever come up with, with a hard on and only two seconds of thinking time. Which is pretty... If you think about the calculating power, bear in mind I'm using my little brain, not my big one now, like that's impressive thinking. Like with the big brain's engaged, with the little brain's controlled, it's a smaller surface area. There's less processing power in the little head. So, yeah, so I'm, you know, he's thinking different things to me. He's like, who cares if she said no? And I'm like, no, that's wrong. So I cut this great thing. I say, look, it'll be fine, trust me. I am going to count down from five. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do.  Five, kiss her. Four, kiss her some more. Three, grind on her. Two, kiss her a bit more. One. So we're kissing, we're making out, we're now hard core grinding on each other. And then I look at her again, I start putting my thumb down, going to take off like the other one. I look at her and I'm like, okay. And she goes, no, no, stop, stop. And I go, okay. Let's look out down. It'll be fine, trust me. If you want me to stop, just say stop. Kiss her again. Five, three, two, one. Take her under her. She looks at me and she goes, there is absolutely no way that I'm going to sleep with him. And I go, I'm not planning on sleeping. Don't worry about it. It'll be fine, trust me. That's it. So that's how you make the close happen. It's so very easy to do. You can build it up and make it work. And you can see that at any point, if you're having a problem, then whenever you guys want to get your closes, make sure that you do these things. One, that you take control of the situation by organizing your logistics. If you do not organize your logistics, you are not getting laid. I don't care how great you are or how much game you have or how attracted to she is. If you do not have your logistics down, that's awesome.  Don't take them to a room where IFC Adam is trying to sleep.  I want to sleep. Make sure that happens. Organize your logistics. Lead the situation. Be empathetic. What problems does she have? If you're talking to her and she's freaking out a bit, you did something wrong.  So make sure that you look at what you did. Did you justify it? What's going on with it? Were there false choices involved? Was it grounded? Was it believable? Make sure you've got that in place. Have your final goal in mind at every stage. You are not thinking, I've met her in the club.  I've met her in the club. I need to get out of the club somewhere else with me in a venue change. Then I need to get from that place to my place. You might be able to take it straight to your place. Depends how good you are. But you do the venue change first. Then from that point, you can bring her to your house. She needs to get into your bedroom. When she's in the bedroom, you make everything happen. And at any point during this process, when you're trying to close her, if at any point you have an issue, all you have to say is don't worry about it. So this talk is the first time I've ever done this without my notes. So I'm a little bit nervous trying to make sure I remember it. It's a very technical talk. At the very beginning, when I first started talking to you guys, I said that a lot of people chat fluff and fluff really annoys me. I made that when I sit down to her. I've been watching these video seminars, learning stuff recently, not game stuff, like video editing and a whole bunch of other stuff. And I watched from this guy. This is a free one-hour seminar. So I watched it and at the end of it, I didn't even know what I learned. Nothing, I think. He spoke for an hour and I didn't take anything away from it. And I wanted to make sure that the first talk was very much specifically about closing. The whole thing was about how you can close with different ways of doing it. It's a little more powerful than that and it's a bit deeper and it's a bit more technical. And before I go into it, I want to explain to you guys something. A bit of a background story. A lot of PUA's talk about all their best accomplishments. Have you noticed that? They get this one great accomplishment and they hold on to it. This is me, I did this one, so I must be great. Most people don't know about a lot of my accomplishments. Some of you would have heard about my Maxdim thing where Maxdim got me to infiltrate an office and pick up a chick while she was working. Some of you may have heard about the celebrity that I had in the UK. She wasn't really a celebrity. She was a big brother contestant that came out of the house but whatever, it counts. Some of you have heard of models. Some of you have obviously seen Amanda. Everyone knows different things. But no one ever talks about their failures.  I want to talk about a point where I look really dumb. I've been in game about four months and some of you might know I progressed very fast. And within the UK I was already teaching as an assistant coach within about three to four months. And one of my students from the boot camp he was like, Adam, I really loved learning from you. I'd like to come out on a one-on-one with you. And I'm like, well I haven't really been doing it long enough to charge. So how about we just go out for fun and two of us for free? And I'll just teach you. And they're like, okay, great. So we go into this really high-end nightclub and it's only about the third time I've been to a high-end nightclub. This is really early in my game career. And I'm like, it has to be fun to walk around and help them out. And sitting in the corner of the room is a group of about 15 10s just sitting there having a party, getting a party and drinking. And I'd never game an eight successfully at that point. Let alone a 10. I was just good at helping approaching. You've got a fear of approaching, the problem. Come with me, I'll help you. Look, now you don't fit. He says, Adam, show me how to get 10s. And I was like, whoa. This is before I was AFC. I don't know if you guys know this. I used to just be Adam London. And I added the AFC after my name specifically because of this point because I wanted people to realize that I wasn't amazing. Like, I was okay, but I was definitely not Adam Gunn picking up 10s. So I see these chicks in the corner of the room and I'm like, all right. So I got some and I think over my shoulder this is how old it was. I think I was like I'm gonna ask you girls a question who lies more, whatever. It was something lame like that, right? And the girls just kind of laughed at me and blew me off. I'm not in a good way. And I was like, ah. So I went back to the guy and he goes, what happened? You get blown out. I'm like, no, what I did there was I was just feeling water. That girl was a bitch, probably a lesbian. So... But I'm gonna... I've got another... I've got a better way of doing it. I'm just warming up and he goes, okay, okay. He's like big eyes and everything. So I'm gonna go back in. And I use another line. I think, you know, I like salad and I'm like, I don't know whatever I use. I use something else and it didn't work again.  I'm gonna kick it myself. I can't get into these 10s. And I look for my student and he's nowhere to be seen. He's gone. Oh, there he is, partying with the 10s. Wait, what? There he was. He just went, hey. And he just started dancing with him. So there's my student in with the set.  Now, I've got to go in. Now, of course, the easiest way for me to go in is because I was AFC Adam, but not then. I wanted to do it myself. So I was like, no, I have to get in. I've got to make this happen, right? So I used this line. I thought it was pure genius at the time. And I went up to the girl and I was like, hey, I'll ask you a question. I give guys advice on confidence in going up to girls and talking to them. But although I can help them pick up any of these, you know, ugly chicks and the rest of the club, I have no idea how to talk to a girl as hot as you and get you guys to try to do it. Do you mind if I hang around all night and just watch guys hit on you and make notes and, you know, keep track of what works and what doesn't? And the chick's like, yeah, of course you can. I'm an expert. If you want to sleep with me, you've got to have a lot of money. You've got to have, like, a nice car, maybe a boat, a boat. So I love boats. And so she was telling me all these great things. I was like, okay, that's obviously none of that works. And I was like, just, you know, making notes to myself. And so I was in with this group. And, you know, my friend was doing really, really well. And I wasn't. And I was sort of sitting around kind of like being a bit bummed.  Now, I'd recently learned that the 15 super hot chicks were super hot because they were actually models from Miami. Money enough. That's where they came from. And they were doing a tour of Europe and London for some big modeling agency. So these other five chicks turned up. I didn't get introduced to them. But all of them introduced themselves to me and kissed me on the lips. And I thought to myself, why did they do that? This puzzled me for a very long time. And I realized something. Two things. The first, I teach, pre-selection.  I was pre-selected. But actually, something bigger was happening. It wasn't just pre-selection. Pre-selection is just the thing that I tell people to make pre-selections great or sign up for Adam's website. But in reality, something bigger was happening. What was actually happening was they assumed I was somebody.   A potential agent, a client, a photographer. They had no idea who I was, so they had to treat me like I was amazing. I made out with one of those chicks that turned up, one of those five.  My first super hot chick. Pretty impressive. And it stuck with me. But I didn't understand what happened until a lot later. There was another situation. I was known in London for my princesses. Now, I don't know if you guys have heard this or not yet, but my princesses was my very first entourage. My very first idea of an entourage game. It was a group of girls I went out with and hung out with. And the way I hung out with them was I met them through a friend of a friend, another girl I gained who introduced me. And the girls knew that I did for a living. They knew that I was a dating coach. And they said I could hang around with them. And I said, yeah, I'll hang around with you guys. I was like, but I won't hit on any of you. And they're like, alright. And they gave me that look like it would work. I was like, I'm not going to hit on any of you because I don't want to ruin the friendship. But I do have this ability to make women absolutely want me. Now at this point I knew that what I really wanted was the pre-selection from the girls. And what happened here was I would hang out with all these girls. And I would get my pre-selection. And girls would come and open me. They'd be like some hot chick on the other side of the club. She'd walk up to me and all these girls. I'd be like, hi, nice to meet you. What's your name? And the girls I was with would freak out. They'd be like, you are amazing. How are you doing this? Pre-selection, right? There's no idea it was because of them and stuff. They're like, you're great. Oh my God, that's so clever. I've never seen a guy I wanted by so many women. And then I started making out with the chicks that I said I wouldn't make out with. I slept with some of them. And again, some of it happened. Now what happened was the perception of the situation was different. We each had different perceptions. And now what's really funny is the very first topic of game to is actually the one I'm going to teach you guys now, which is the concept of frame. And more importantly, frame control. I was never sure if I was going to teach this subject. And after a couple of trials, after talking to some friends, Sike being one of them, I decided I would teach it. And I've given this talk a couple of times before with my notes, so this will be the first time about now. It is very technical. It's something that I use extensively myself. It's something that my top instructors use extensively. And it is ridiculously powerful. With that being said, I'm going to give a disclaimer right now. If you use this, I want you to, with your best judgment, use it correctly. The material that I've taken has come from some really interesting sources that include Stanley Hogan's experiment when he managed to convince people to murder somebody else, that include some very powerful psychological techniques that include studying Hitler's propaganda machine. So there's a lot of influence in this particular subject. And I want to give the disclaimer that I can't control what you guys use it for, but I would like to know that you're specifically using it for good. Bear in mind, leave women better off than when you first found them. Don't go around just breaking hearts because you can. Don't use it for anything other than game, or maybe getting a career promotion. Use it cleverly.  When I was first creating this, I had to create examples. I'm going to talk to you guys about examples because it needs examples for you to understand it. And some of the examples that I came up with initially weren't game ones. And the things I was writing on the paper was scaring me when I was coming up with justified reasons to explain away very bad behavior. So this could be incredibly dangerous, or it could be the final thing you need to make you absolutely amazing women. And I weighed that up very heavily before teaching it and I decided that's a choice that you guys could take. Because at the end of the day, the material is out there and you could find it yourself. I've just compiled it. So first what we're going to talk about, what is frame control? What is a frame? Some people think that frame is a community term. Raise your hand if you think frame is a community term. It's a couple of people. Everyone's like, I'm not putting my hand up now.  Frame is not a community term. It's been around a lot longer. It's political sciences. It's been used in the propaganda machine, as I said. It's essentially used to alter perceptions. Some people say that a frame is the underlying assumption beneath the situation. It's more than that. A frame is your perception, understanding and ideas of a given situation or event. It's how you perceive that event to be. And each one of us perceives it completely differently. So we're going to give some examples here. Let's take this user imagination knife and imagine that I am standing here like this. The perception that you probably get of that is that I'm a crazy man in the corner of a room with a knife threatening to stab people, which is pretty fair. But I'm going to alter the perception by increasing elements. For example, four women surrounding him go, Roger, you're so funny. Suddenly, he's a comedian. He's joking. He's having a laugh. He's pretending to be somebody. He's reenacting a movie. The situation just changed by me giving you new information. If a man is walking down the street and he's, after a moment, he starts rapidly opening and closing one eye. I want you to shout out to me what he's doing. Ready? Three, two, one. Ready? Try again. Think of a word that would uncover a single word that rhymes with ink that would cover what that was doing. Three, two, one. Some said blink, some said wink. Gotcha. To some of you, that's a wink. To others of you, who's blinking? Your perceptions were different from the same story.  Okay, whatever. So even then, you can talk about my perception of that was even different to yours because I knew the event that you didn't know. And I knew the ink, Crumb and Bone. See how your perceptions are getting messed around. And we're just talking. I'm just talking to you guys at all ages. I'm going to teach you how to understand exactly what's happening step by step which is why I said this is very heavy but it's also incredibly powerful. A man walks into a nightclub with two women on his arm. A lot of you are thinking, lucky guy. But I suspect, unless you've ever heard me give that example before, you're not thinking that it's a guy taking his two sisters to the nightclub and chaperoning them for a month because they don't want them getting hit on. Your situations can change by adding new information. Frame control is your ability to influence somebody else's perception of a given event or situation. I want you to think about that just for a second and realize just how powerful that can be from game. When you talk to a girl she makes a decision about you within what, three seconds we teach that? Ten seconds she makes a decision? What if you had the ability to alter that perception? Really that's what we all want. I know that somewhere in this crowd there's an ugly man. But I know that you're thinking I'm really ugly. Women won't like me because I'm not hot. I don't know who you are, but I know that somewhere someone thinks that. This alone would give you the ability to alter a perception of looks. To alter a perception of your attractiveness. That's really what game is about. This is a subject that I pretty much have only ever taught my instructors. This is why my instructors are the best in the world. Some of my instructors, you won't even know my instructors because they now teach for competitive companies and aren't allowed by their contract to say that I taught them because it would look bad. But I promise you that I've got something in the region of ten to twelve top world class instructors out there that I've taught. And a lot of them have been taught this subject and it is what differentiates them from your average poor because they've got this ability to turn up an event. Now it's not guaranteed. It's not 100% guaranteed, it's forward. You can't always know the correct way to do it but I'll tell you why. It can make a massive difference in your approach to doing it. What you're attempting to do in any given situation is create frame resonance. You've got your perception of the event and you've got her perception of the event. Your goal is to make the perception of the event resonate with each other and specifically hers resonate with yours. You want her to believe that your view of the event matches hers and they resonate together. Now frame resonance is a very powerful thing and there are four different ways to achieve it and we're going to talk about the different ways and we're going to talk about examples for each one. The first one is frame bridging. And this is the one that gives poor so much problem and it's the easiest. It's called a frame bridge because it has a logistical problem that needs to be solved like building a bridge over water. There's not an issue with both of the countries not wanting to be together. They just don't have the bridge. So someone needs to build that bridge. An example of this is you're attracted to the girl she's attracted to you and you both want each other. That's a good thing but she's the designated driver and has to take her friends home. That's a logistical issue. You can fix that with 50 bucks for a cab ride and send her friends home in a cab. What's all this? Pullers over complicate that.  They punish it.  I got this guy, one of my friends he's gaming this chick and he wants to take her out on a Thursday night and he goes, hey, do you want to come out on Wednesday? She goes, I can't make it. He's like, why? She goes, I've got an exam on Friday I've got to revise. He goes, okay, how about Thursday? She goes, no, I've got this exam on Friday I need to revise before her.    I was like, is she a student? He's like, yeah. You know it's exam week, right?  No dude, it does matter. Trust me.  I know how to handle this. How do you handle it?  I'm going to ignore her and make her crawl back to me. Dude, she's just revising for a test.  Meet up with her on Saturday. No, because then I'm buying into her frame. What? None of this makes sense anymore. You don't even know what a frame is. You don't even know what you're talking about. You're just using community words.  Seriously. Come on. You've got to see it for what it is.  They would teach you to punish that behavior. Game teaches you to punish a logistical issue in frame. Make sure you understand exactly what it is and see it for what it is. If she's attracted to and she wants to and there's only a logistical problem that's stopping it, fix it. Frame bridge. Bridge the gap. Allow the resonance to occur. What if she's got work in the morning? Meet her the next day. Drive her to work. Tell her, don't worry about it. Trust me, we'll find you'll be there on time. Whatever. Fix the logistical issue. Make it okay. Do not see it. I had a chick.  I said, yeah, I want to sleep with you too. She goes, but I've got to take my friends home. I said, okay, I'll follow your cab in my bike. She goes, okay, I followed her cab. She took her friends home.  Great.  I didn't like deal with it. I didn't go like, well, your friend should be able to get their own way home. Aren't they strong enough? I need her amongst women to be able to do that.  See it for what it is and solve it. Frame bridge. Fix the logistical issue. Next on the list, you have something called frame amplification. Now, with frame amplification, what you're looking to do is amplify your frame around hers. For example, you're talking about sex. Maybe your favorite section maybe your favorite sexual position.  Suddenly out of nowhere.   Punished the relationship? Or frame amplifying. You just turn around and go, well, of course, like, who has sex when there's not a bond?  You've got to have a bond. But if you've got that bond, what's your favorite position? Shit test dealt with.  You just didn't have the same kind of frame resonance. You had different views.   Sexulated, I'm calling that term. Somebody by sexualated.com. Sexually escalated, yeah? Somebody's actually on the computer right now. Sexually escalated. You haven't done it correctly. She's not comfortable.  Your frames aren't aligned, but that's okay. You only have to amplify it to create the resonance. No problem. They're not too bad.  She's still talking to you. Next is a frame extension. Now, in this one, you're going to add something onto whatever you previously said. You're talking to her, perhaps. And this is great for, like, building rapport with people. Like, a lot of resonance is great at keeping the rapport, which is really powerful. Because if you can keep rapport with somebody and keep it sexual, then the game's over. Like, they've got a good connection with you, and it's sexual, it's over. So, what you're trying to do in the frame extension is add something onto your previous frame. So, for example, you're talking to the jig. Yeah, I love outdoor pursuits. Like, I'm into rock climbing. I love doing that. Do a lot of wind surfing, sailing, hang gliding, paragliding. Sometimes I parachute out of a plane and then go scoop diving after a land. Like, I just love that kind of stuff.  Like, I'm... You'd never get me doing that. I just go clubbing. You go, oh, that's great. That's what I'm talking about. Like, the active kind of lifestyle.  You do something physical and active. That's so cool. Yeah, I get what you mean. Like, for me, it's the parachuting stuff, but I do the clubbing thing as well. It's great. It's so much fun. So she can feel that poor thing. And on this particular situation, it's a very great way of building rapport. And each of these different techniques is used for something different. With frame bridging, you're using it to fix a logistical problem. You don't use the different techniques when you want to. You use them when they see fit. Frame bridging is great for logistics. Frame amplification is great for building rapport with somebody in the early stages. Use the different parts for the different elements. Now, my favorite is frame transformation. And it's my favorite because there is no viable frame resonance there. You cannot possibly get them, apparently, to resonate. And yet, we're going to make that happen. And that's why this is really interesting for me, because when I first realized I was capable of doing this, I realized how powerful it was.  So let's try this. I'm a poor, and I'm very alpha. Not only am I alpha, but all women want me. And I'm preselected. I'm great. That's my frame. Her frame!   So I'm not going to touch you because I don't want that kind of guy. Oops. Now you're in trouble. Oh, backfire! What are you going to do? There are definitely some PUA's in the world that suffer from that problem. If only they knew how to use frame transformation. Let's get a little bit theoretical. Here's your frame. Here's hers. And they can't go together. We can't bridge them. We can't amplify it to encompass it. We can't extend it to create a connection. They're not going to go together. What we're going to do is find a point in the future where they could. And then we're going to stitch them together in the future and bring it back. Because right now they won't go together. But by imagining the future we can make them fit because it's imagination. It's made up. Then we can bring it back and it will make sense. This is what I like to call fuzzy woman logic. Like guys, we kind of think very logical. It makes a lot of sense when you go through. So, in this situation there's no way it's going to happen. And one of the easiest ways of doing that is to agree with her. You're right.  I am alpha. I am attractive. I do have pre-selection. Women do want me. And because of that I never meet the one special one that treats me different. At that point in the future that I hope that I'll meet the girl like you. That sees me as I am and doesn't just take me for being this gorgeous masculine man honk that I am right now. Someone that can see through that and see me as a person and look past this superficiality greatness that I have. And she goes, really?  That's the kind of guy I want. Done. So, brain transformation, very powerful. I'm going to give you another example, okay? Because it's my favorite one. How about this?  I don't believe in one-light stands. You've only just met her. So, you're going to do it, right? What do we want to do? We want to find that future point connect them and bring it back. And the easiest way of finding the future point is to bring with her.  I would never do a one-light stand. In fact, I'm completely against I don't even do one-light stands. When I sleep with a girl, it's multiple. It's going to have more than once. But I also don't believe in jumping into a relationship. Because I think that's messed up. People jump into a relationship with a girl they don't really know. You know, I think you should keep it fun. I love that about you. You don't believe in one-light stands. That's cool. It means I know you're not a slut. That's great. Listen then. What falls to a pancake? Frame, transform. Move it along. Make sure that it's happening. Find that point, stitch them together. Agree, and then keep building.  It's just a different frame that needs to be patched together. Now, there are some things that can hinder and constrain the framing effort. One of them is higher belief systems. If they have a higher belief system, if there is something in their mind that they perceive as being higher importance, then your imposed frame, it won't work. For example, the same-night-late situation. She's a virgin. She's like, I'm waiting for my one true love. Now you're in trouble. No matter how often you promise you're going to sleep with her, it's not important enough against her, I'm waiting for my one true love. You have to be aware of that and understand that in some situations you either have to find a higher belief system that she believes in. Not that you believe in, that she believes in and use that, i.e. propose. Or, you have to think of other ways of doing it. With Virgin specifically, you may want to think about that again, but that's for you guys to work out. As I said, we could explain frame transformation a lot at this point and really mess somebody up, so let's just leave it like that.  Higher belief systems, respect them as well as understanding how they are. The other thing is believability. It's not just her higher belief system, it is what you're saying completely ridiculous. For example, in the situation of the I'm really alpha and all women want me and she doesn't agree with that, you can be like, oh no, today is Saturday. On Saturdays, I'm so much low. On a Saturday, my alpha is I'm beta, basically on a Saturday. Sunday, alpha again, Saturday I'm beta.  You're just trying to say that to get me a backtracking. It doesn't work. Your belief system has to be of equal importance to match it and make it happen. These are all the different types of verbal frame control. But I've identified, there's probably more, but the ones that I've identified. Like I said, it's a pretty heavy subject. There's a lot of theory, there's a lot of tough stuff in it, but when used correctly it's ridiculously powerful. You can use it to win arguments. I gave an example of what I was talking earlier to you guys about how I gained free chocolate. I used the same technique. All I did was give them, I made our frames resonate by giving them good enough reasons for giving me the chocolate that they were going to get a sale. I created the resonance. So there's a lot of ways that this can be used from getting free chocolates to getting girls. There's a lot of techniques that you can get out of this. But it really is about understanding it and playing with it and using it on a small level. Now there's another side of frame control beyond the verbal stuff that we just spoke about. And the other side is physical frame control. And now this subject is one that I've kept very, very secret. In fact, even my instructor who's sitting there has no idea, psych's like no idea. I've only taught this a couple of times against very close friends.  And I use it all the time. And I've been a bit hesitant about teaching it because I use it so often myself because it's really fun to use. I know everyone's going to be watching me and be like, I know what you're doing. But I wanted to teach it and I wanted to give it away for free so I figured the 21 Conference is a good place to do it because I hate people that overcharge for stuff. So, first of all we're going to understand some dynamics of groups. Let's look at some group dynamics. First of all, have you ever bothered to look at a group of people in conversation? If you've ever watched them you'll notice that the way they maneuver each other is very interesting. We talk about locking in. We all know about locking in from body language point of view to show you very quickly. If I put my foot here and lean back this would be considered locked in if there were people around. Why are you looking more comfortable when people kind of lean into me? I have the perceived power in the group. I suppose you could say I was in the power seat. But everyone here around is looking at me being in this position. Now, that's very minor frame control physical frame control. We're going to crank it up a bit and then we'll go a little bit deeper in depth than most PUA's have probably looked at it before. So, we're going to start by looking at conversation. I don't know if you've noticed it. There's a great book by Robin Dunbar that illustrates human conversation and says did you know that most human beings only have conversations amongst four people? If you analyze four people talking there is one topic of conversation. Typically. It might break down into two and two conversation. If the fifth person is added the conversation almost always breaks down into two. With two people talking and three people. That's because the human brain can pretty much only keep track of what three other people say at once in a conversation. The exception is a speech because there are definitely people that are like no I've had a conversation with eight people no you have a speech. You walked in and spoke at seven people some of them spoke to each other. So you weren't really conversing with them. Actual conversation is typically held by a maximum of four people. This makes game very interesting. Because when you go out in night clubs you typically see two sets three sets and four sets. And by knowing the number of set that you're about to walk into you can alter your game based on the amount of people you're approaching. For example if I've got a group of four which is quite a common set two girls two guys or maybe four girls three girls one guy whatever it is the inclusion of myself makes a fit. Which means I know that conversation is going to break down into two segments a three and a two. Now we all know how powerful isolation is you don't want to be stuck in a three set you want to be in a two set. And I know that if there are four people there and I get in I become the fifth member that conversation is about to break into a two and a three. And I'm probably the only one geeky enough to know that's going to happen. And because I know that I can use physical frame control to make sure that I'm in conversation with my target. Which breaks almost every single poor rule of ignoring the one that you're interested in. And the way I do it is by going in and having a speech first.  At that point I can ignore my target. I go in and talk to the whole group get speaking to them they all think I'm cool. They at the point when I don't want to be an entertaining monkey anymore maybe after a minute and a half I break down in conversation with my target. I've now moved my conversation to be specifically me and her. And I can do it with a simple justification of I didn't even get your opinion what do you think? And I can move around to just her. And by shifting my body so the other three are locked out I've got perfect conversation with her. Now I would like to show you guys exactly how that looks. What I would love is four people to come up here with me. So can I have four volunteers very quickly? One, two, three, four. Cool. Thanks guys. Cheers. Thanks. Cool. Cool. Hey Carlos, good to see you. Brilliant. If you guys can stand in the line look that way. Most groups don't stand in the line but it's going to be absolutely perfect for me to demonstrate. If I can get you to come forward just a little bit and if you can come forward just a little bit that kind of gives the dynamic of four. If you imagine we've got four seconds to split it up a bit just to look but you'll see the example anyway. So I would approach from this point and open all four of them with a speech, with a simple talk and I can observe the one that I want to lock out. Now bear in mind these guys would typically be standing in a cube talking to each other even moving to the cube just so you can see they would typically be standing like this talking. There we go. And I've come into the whole group and I can see the one that I want to lock off. I can make it very easy first and I'll do a harder one afterwards. The easiest one of course would be Tommy or this guy and the way I do that is by talking to the whole group I didn't even get your opinion. Hey, so what do you think? And I physically move into the group because I know the conversation is going to break into a three and a two because I know that I know it's not rude because I know that these three will talk amongst themselves behind my back and they would need to talk here and what I want to do if I'm really clever is make sure that he can't lock my contact with them as well but we'll cover that in a second. But that's the easy one, right? I picked off Will, picked off the one next to me. What I really want to do is pick off one of the ones on the other side because that's even harder. If you're clever, you'll approach the group correctly and it won't be an issue but say I'm not that clever. I approach the group, I do the speech, oh my god, I didn't even get your opinion. So what was that? I've done exactly the same thing again. My back is now locking off the other three. No matter how the group is standing I can always make that happen so I'm not. Cheers guys, thanks so much. I'll give you some other set examples as well. Cheers guys. I might get a couple more up in a second. So that's a four set. I know that if I open a four set it's going to be a five set so I can go straight in with a big speech to all and then lock off my target after about a minute and a half and I get many of my isolation. It's not as good as isolation but it's definitely worth it. It enables you to run some very good games for a long time. What if it was a three set? If I open a three set then I know I'm about to make it a four set. And at that point I know that the inclusion of myself into the group is going to make sure the conversation could stay as the four of us are just talking or it could descend into a two. So it's pretty much the same rule as the five except it isn't necessarily going to happen. So with a four set you're probably going to want to keep the conversation flowing amongst you all for a while first. As there is a very good chance that the rest of the group will be listening to whatever you're saying to the girl. So bear that in mind. You're not going to get the same kind of isolation because the other two could just sit and join in to what you're saying. So it's good to know. It's good to know that that could happen. You might need a bit more of an isolation. You might need a justification to go and get a drink. The next set is a two set. The inclusion of yourself makes it a three set which is the most awkward set. You have no option but to do a speech or a conversation amongst the three of you. They are only options. So what's a better suggestion for you is to potentially enlist a wing. Now you may not have a wing with you when I did all my game with the exception of Amog Scott who I promised you was not called Amog Scott as a joke. Like he was not a wing. He was an Amog. Amog Scott would come with me to a nightclub go and do his own thing and then try and open the girl I was talking to. And I used to like him as a wing because it got my skills nice and sharp because you have to be waiting for when Amog Scott is going to turn up. He goes to the bathroom. There he is. So you are going to be prepared for Amog Scott. And he was a good way of practicing. Like he was a good guy to spar with. But sometimes you want to enlist the aid of another wing. Some random dude in the club. I promised you go up to any guy who looks a little bit confident standing on his own. I mean like hey buddy listen there's two girls over there. I want to go and talk to them. If you want to come with me we'll split them up. I'm not going to do any damage on my own. There's no problem.  So the two of you can go in. You can just choose the girl you want. Get isolation. The girls occupied with that guy. Don't stay in set with the guy. Don't make the mistake of assuming he's going to be a great wing. He won't be. He'll be saying yeah I don't even know this guy. I just met him. He's such a tit. He will do that stuff because he doesn't know you. He seems friendly enough. Whatever. Stay out of it. Don't hang around that guy because you don't know what he's going to be like. So you move your girl off and that's one of the best ways to do a two-set. Just grab another wing from somewhere. It makes so much more sense to do that. So that's a two-set, a three-set and a four-set. And that's pretty much the main set you're going to find in a night club. If you find one set obviously it's not a problem. And anything bigger than a five-set you can kind of like do the math yourself and piece it together. Now all of these little things enable you to piece it together to create mini-isolation.  But there are other forms of physical frame control that you can use. And they can be incredibly powerful. What I'm going to do for this, I am definitely going to get another volunteer. Can I have somebody else come up? Somebody that didn't come up before maybe? Raise your hand. Somebody, go for it. Wicked. What's your name? Dave. Dave, can you grab your hand? Cool man. Brilliant. Thanks very much. So what we just did then was a whole bunch of very physical frame control. I do this stuff all the time as people and they never notice. So we're going to go through it and break it down very slowly.  So we'll start. I'm doing it again now. I'm leading him, right? This is all leading. So from here, shook his hand. I didn't let go. What I did instead was a tug the inside of his wrist.   You pull the wrist it brings him up. But I don't want to do that. I don't want to yank it. I don't want to hurt the guy. So I'll lead him up and I'll pull his arm instead.  I don't mind that position. So I'll pull him and move him and get to this side. What I'm doing is constantly keeping him moving. If he's used to me leading him just stop some steps. I can lead him at any point anywhere else. And if you're talking to a girl girls follow naturally as dancers they're followers. So they're used to a guy leading them. So you can get them in any position. Guys are like I tried to lock in but I didn't know how. If you're using physical frame control it's easy. Because you've got used to the basic movements. And then at that point you can literally just okay great so tell me more about yourself and lock in. You can move into position. I can sit on the end of the sofa. Wait I can't hear you. Come here for a second.  Basic leading physical frame control is all about just gentle movements. Remember some basic things about touch. If you hold for longer than one and a half seconds it kind of gets a bit weird. So when you're moving somebody everything wants to be really fast. I have an arm I hold it for a bit but my hands are always moving. They don't really stay in one place for too long. It's just for about one and a half seconds to keep it fast and quick. Now there's some great uses for this. Hold your arms and be really mean. Some girls you see them standing like that they're all locked off right. And I see students I'm like did you know that if you could just open her arms she would warm up to you. Because that's her defense. She's using it to be cold.   It's easier with a joke.  You literally pull the arm out of the way in conversation. And it's more believable if I'm talking oh my god I love that so tell me more. And there it is. At that point she's not likely to just fold them up again she'll keep them open. She'll open up verbally too. She'll be friendly.   Perfect. It's great.   I want that to change. You were talking earlier about your house tell me more about your house. And then I shipped around. I'm locked in. She's not. The whole form moves because she's on high heels they have to balance. She has to change it and move and now no one's giving a validation around the room because she can't look eye contact with them. We spoke about this earlier with the foreset. If, I'll put you there just for a second. He can be making eyes behind me. I'm talking and gaming but he can be looking at his friend and I'm screwed. I'm not going to do that because girls use girl code. Now I've decoded a lot of it but not all of it and I'm not going to be that good if I see them going like this. It's going to make me feel bad. I don't want that girl code going on so I can shift it. I can move by simply moving myself or I can move them. Something I like to teach is this simple step whereby just moving five inches you can drastically increase the attraction from the other person and all I do is just take a simple five inch movement and bam I've got it. Eye contact, stop them looking at the other people. And that's all you have to do. These are very simple physical things that you can move around and create and make happen the way you want.  This is one that you can do instantly. The rest of today was a bit I'm sure you'll be using the physical stuff of each other. You're probably going to push each other but this is one that you can use that works really, really well. And if you're in that situation where you go into a set and then they will start talking with each other and then you can't get in. They're talking, they know each other from high school, and suddenly you've got no conversation. You want to get into that conversation but there's no break. There's no pause in the conversation. I'm going to show you a couple of ways and you can do this with your friends. It's really good fun to do because it will just stop somebody's train of thought. When you're talking at the same time, you can only hold so much information in your head. And human beings are very easily distracted and the minute we get distracted we lose what we're saying.  Now what you're going to do is you're going to make them lose what they're saying. And before they say what was I saying you're going to start speaking.  And that's why this game is really funny. So there's a number of ways of doing it.  There's better ways of doing it. One of my favorites is to reach through a group. If my drink was on a barstail and the group was here when I was talking it doesn't even have to be my drink. It could be the bartender or it could be a place mat or it could be whatever. I might want to put my coat there. It doesn't matter. I just need a justified reason to go through the group. Then in the middle of the conversation I just go, excuse me, I just think I just want to grab my drink. Cheers guys, thanks. You know I was thinking, bang, then you're in. That's straight away it. You just start talking because you broke up their flow of conversation.  They'll pause for the moment that you do the drink and you watch them. They'll go like this. They'll watch you do it and they'll stop speaking. You will have maybe two seconds of silence where they'll just go so yeah so I was talking to my friends and they were they might even stop speaking it might just become a bit blurry. So they might be like yeah so we were talking yesterday and that's what you'll get. At that point you're just going to be like oh cheers, sorry, sorry guys. You know what, you were talking to my friends it made me think, one of my friends the other day bang, there you are. You break into it. You can do it with a noise. You could cough if you wanted to, a bit lame. It's much better to do a physical thing. The last one, this is the one that you can do for your friends because I don't know a couple of eyes about speed and time finishing on time.  I love this one, okay I never had this problem because I've had my own apartment since I was 18 years old so I've never had an issue with this and then people started saying to me yeah it's all well and good for you to say that what about us guys that don't have her in place we live in our months, we can't bring someone back so I made sure that for six months I wouldn't get laid unless it was in her house and I came up with this great web and I think this is my web thing I would meet the girl and I'd go on my day two with her or what have you because I couldn't bring her back to my house so I went on a day two and then on the day two I would go to a movie store a store that sold DVDs and then while I was there I'd have a look at it oh what's your favorite movie? so I'd find her favorite movie and I'd find my favorite movie I like comparing movies and then I'd pick up a movie that she hadn't seen have you seen this one? yeah okay great have you seen this one? no I haven't seen it it's amazing or I've never seen it either this movie looks great we should totally do like a movie watching thing and the girl's like okay I'll get the movie in the popcorn you provide the cinema she goes okay so you go cool so you go and buy the DVD together if you want to get really fucked up you can give her the DVD to look after she's not just using you you need to know you've got a traction but if you've got a traction you give her the DVD to look after every time she looks at it she'll think of you and that's really fucked up but it's a very powerful tool because if she's looking at a think of you she's not really thinking of anyone else so she's building a lot of investment this is something we teach a lot in courses but like the guy is the there's a lot of you who have had boot camps with me but you know that investment is very powerful and if she's consistently investing in that DVD you need to come over and watch it and then you just go over to the house and watch it business as usual at her cool next I don't know that's a quick question let's say you're talking to some random grace meeting club and she blows you out but it'll be the best way to get back in and change your frame if you will if a chick's completely blowing you out first of all we know you've done something wrong initially that's why she's blowing you out very rarely they're naturally nasty very rarely they're naturally nasty, they've had a really bad day everyone's been hit on them well you've done something really bad if I get blown out that way the first thing I do is make sure I don't look like I've got blown out so I was like hey listen I didn't mean to ruin that have a great night, I'll catch you around because the only way everyone else in the club knows it went bad you can't hear a girl you're talking to in conversation no one else knows what's happening just make sure it looks like it's good have a great night, I'll see you around cool, that way no one knows it went bad you'll keep your value up in the club in general I would actually ignore her and I would instead go around and have pre-selection elsewhere so what I'd try and do is get her to see that other girls are actually really comfortable with me and then later on I might come back and I'll be like listen I feel really bad earlier I obviously completely freaked you out and I think you misunderstood maybe if you're a new or something I'm really not that kind of guy I just wanted to say I don't want to freak you out anymore just have a great night please and just to let you know honestly I didn't mean to invite you at night times at 10 when I come back in with something like that if she hasn't pre-opened me with my pre-selection, which often happens they go no look I had they start apologizing I had a bad night, some guys hit on me oh my god no way, I bet they said who lies more guys are going yeah how do you know, fucking freaks I've seen them all night going around on a twat so I would basically build a lot of rapport with her on that of course what I'm doing there for anyone that listens is I'm framed with resonance I'm basically making a connection between me and her on the point that we both don't like the guys that hit on her which enables me to hit on her cool, alright guys I think that's all we've got time for now so guys thank you ever so much for having me down thank you