n him do hot drug spontaneous he plays like when we when we went to visit vital veiled falls we climbed to the second tier people know by vital veiled falls and Yosemite this is it's a waterfall all this we got up to the second level climbing where this all the water is all coming down the mist and stuff and and he just started going started this spontaneous other we used to do that used to do it all the time wherever we were in the middle of a supermarket or I was in the back of a truck in Algeria driving down a mountain curving past and all the men in the back of this truck stood up in a circle and started doing the hot dog we need these things in dark times vigorous worship and strong presence in our bodies in our worship that we in turn share with the world and connect with the world through and by so the next exercise that I get is what I call tracking so tracking is this basically my wife had a t-shirt that said what do you notice in your body attention again mind is a verb it means to pay attention to something if I am interested in pw of bugs I'll go out and I'll see everywhere they'll see pw bugs old ones new ones whatever what you're looking for you'll find so this is something we shared earlier and we all know this principle so tracking is an exercise that I give people to do first of all primarily with positive resourceful positive things to begin with until you get good at it and this means if you think like all of you can you remember a time in your life where things were really really good for you everything was on track you were really who you were meant to be just think of the time we're not going to try to remember what was happening that time but just think of that time in the year with how old you were people have that anybody have trouble having finding that remembering any time like that you can't remember a time like that never a time where you're good where things were really great for you now you laughed right you know the worst in the worst circumstances we all have by a lost design we all have times in which we laugh and we have good times and it's okay not not maybe not overall sorry our lifetime the lifetime huh the moment a moment in your life yeah no no not a grid look cold good life no just a moment in your life a time in which you felt like things are great so really positive now take a keep imagine yourself at that time in a picture not try don't go back and try to remember what's happening and doing through the details in your mind well this was happening that was happening and therefore I felt this or didn't feel that whatever but imagine an image of yourself like a photo snapshot and the place you would be in can you do it I've got a few nods hoping if you can do that then go from that image to your body what do you notice in your body from that image here I am five years old on a green grassy field my brother's there sorry sorry electricity you feel in your body where do you feel electricity in your body whole sensation in your body okay anybody else deeper breath okay what gratitude what does gratitude feel like what what's the physical experience of gratitude in your body physically not a gratitude the concept cheers cheers that want to come okay nowhere nowhere to return but there is the face of a law this is a we believe that this is the truth nowhere can return but there is the face of a law with all of this manifestations the good the bad the wonderful the jelali and the jelali yes this is an exercise in which we ground our experience and being where we are we develop the ability to be present with the reality that we find ourselves in at any given time we start with positive things and the reason for that is as we develop this and coming back into the body we're recovering and remembering something that we left behind from childhood because life was too difficult to feel and be present and we learned how to shut down depression depression is not sadness or sadness or melancholy depression is the lack of feeling we shut down feeling because life is too much the things and arrows life Shakespeare said the things and arrows of life we take arms against it to it and that means we recover we equate recovery with spiritual path with healing with becoming whole with finding ourselves with getting in tune with our fitra with our primordial first nature with becoming who we were designed to be by a law one poem a poet wrote in one poem he said we live in a time in which animals don't know what animal they're supposed to be and we're the biggest example of that we're supposed to be human beings and that means all of these things that we know intrinsically and we've learned and we've heard about the prophets that I said and his people his his his lives all of you know we know what it means because it's inherent in our dna and our biggest problem is that we're not being what we're meant to be hello that's why every every psychic and every fortune teller can say well you have a great potential and you're not living it out oh god that guy really knows me you know duh but I promise you this listen if you take this principle and recognize I can become what I meant to be and that is going to be unique from everybody else not different completely because we share all these things as human being but unique we share that quality of Allah of Farid Farid uniqueness because every single thing that happened to us in every moment of every day of every month of every year after year after year after year was designed for that to happen for us to us independently by Allah and that is a Khaliq al-Bali al-Musawir building who we're meant to be and what we are now and our problem is we're not uncovering that truth and becoming what we are inherently by truth and we're still living in the lies that we were taught us we were taught to believe three quarters of this is extricating ourselves and I do this because a lot of people in this somatic work will actually extricate themselves when we're like bombs that hold them getting free from our familial patterns our cultural patterns and all the lies we were taught at school and wherever we were taught those lies and becoming free this is this is my teacher used to say this is the stretch of freedom he used to have me stretch my arms and he'd say okay your arms is far out they go as far as he says now stretch them a couple of inches on both sides further and you can do it and if you take a breath and exhale and stretch them again they'll stretch even further the same with if you if you if you turn your head turn your head as far as it wants to go now take a breath and then exhale and when you exhale move a little bit more and do it again take a breath and move more and it'll keep going point four when we exit when we inhale when we inhale everything in the body contracts even the capillaries in the skin contract when we exhale they want to let go when we inhale our nervous systems charge up and activate and when we exhale they want to rest and relax when the child looks at the mother depending upon what's happening with the mother and the child more or less but even then even the child looks at the mother mother there's a charge up and then when they look away and leave settling if that doesn't happen and the mother is constantly well why don't you look at me why if the mother insists the child would have an aversion to the mother same thing and as time goes on you know the danger and the disaster of of helicopter mums mother must be there to minister for all the things the child goes through the happiness the sadness the anger all this it's okay don't be i'm here so forth but constantly being on them you should do this you should do that we know this yes okay so to learn these things if you learn these things it means the i believe this is the capability of changing and bringing more integrity in yourself if you do this whatever you do in the world will improve if you're doing good things it will improve and one of the principles that i don't know if i mentioned here may have been just a quick discussions is that anything we learn and learning is something we need to look at more deeply and in terms of the hiccups of it learning is engagement and being present means that we're awake relatively awake if we're half asleep you know and we we're awakened by dramatic dramatic things it's like the example i always give is for me it was when kennedy just was shot i remember that day i remember the thing that happened when nine eleven happened most people can say and they'll go reiterate the people say well i was in the tower and i was in this bubble and they'll describe where they were what was happening because that memory is strong by waking up for a moment for that time some people have way a awakeness more often more the greater degree than others they're present but if we develop awakeness in presence it's not a scholarly feat it's not by learning more it's by being present and you'll find people who are very present from the work they do carpenters and car mechanics and whatever they might be taxi drivers they have presence a lot of that presence from is from their learning by being present in a world in which a law is teaching them at every moment in every second of every day and they're awake enough to be able to take it and be changed by it not by oh i'm learning this lesson and this lesson and therefore there's it's not a it's not a left brain now the left brain and right brain principle i haven't gone into that much uh there is a video i have from capetown about three or four years ago i'm not sure how long ago who was which i talk about left brain right brain but the left brain right brain concepts it used to i mean it came became popular in the sixties and then very shortly after that all the science the scientific world said nah this is all myth and they should have shoved it inside and then what came was this neural imaging wave in which demonstrated with the neural imaging of the brain and the body it was demonstrating that yeah there's a right brain kind of thinking and being that is broader and it connects more with the body so so we can say that 95 percent of our memory is though about memory created by feelings and experiences rather than didactic learning left brain with words and principles diagrams graphs this one is an artistic learning it's a learning it's a learning of feeling women are generally stronger at it although people say don't be missed it's not right brain is feminine it's not like that we need all of these things working at once feet on the ground head in the heavens from the sick we need left brain and right brain and part of these exercises are the bringing about the ability when we pay attention to the sensations in the body paying attention to the sensations mean that we cognitively recognize what and where do I feel you said gratitude what does gratitude feel like you see gratitude is a concept and it's this we can be in gratitude as a state but what does the but what does that mean in the body a lot of people say to me well I feel calm well tell me more about calm and that's that's going more deep and into it will calm it's and sometimes it helps them if I say something I will calm it's not metallic and thorny is it warm soft I mean when I first started doing this work with especially with men I'd say well what do you notice in your body and they say oh nothing my teacher my teacher we used to say when men when people would say that he said so you're dead right you're dead because you know that the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of thousands of sensory nerves and they're asleep or what what are they because we learn not to and in some cases we consider that I'm a strong man I'm not going to be waved by that it that's okay to get the job done but it's as expensive time of having a empathy and sensitivity to others empathy in terms of the as much as they can accessor can identify the degree of empathy is going been going down every year across the world this is the world we live in duh out there like I say out there on the highway the so-called free ways with 2,000 pounds of metal careening down the road at 80 miles an hour you know one wrong move in your strawberry jam as my teacher used to say you know we can't imagine that doesn't affect us and the fact that you know the again the saying I repeat reiterate over and over is one of the shuyokan morocco said the flood in the time of milk was a flood of water and the flood in our time is separation between us I'm sorry separation from each other and that separation from each other is it's insistent the average size of the the typical the normal the average size of famine in Manhattan 15 20 years ago it was 1.2 people despite of all the people sitting on the steps in the Bronx you know I don't know if you people know they used to have great communities people who have gatherings of all kinds of people sitting on the steps and conversations in real community but that's disappearing disappearing from lack of time and from the just the you know the living together we used to know neighbors I used to walk down the road with my father many many years ago and we'd walk in and say who lives in that house you ever seen it no we'd go to the next house did you ever seen it I've never seen it who listen says are these neighbors we never we've never we've never seen them ever how can we call them neighbors so uh one of the one of my student one of Matt who called himself my student and liked they don't I'm much more he was much more teacher to me uh Dr. author Ali so some of you may know because he's from this neighborhood and he was no author author Ali yeah masha'Allah just one of the best men I've ever known masha'Allah and I went to visit him he became the he became this assistant director of alternative medicine at Yale from UCLA eventually but I went to visit him and we walked down the street with his son Yasin named after with his son Yasin and all the neighbors there was a Saturday and they're all doing things and everybody's out there Yasin how are you doing they all wait because when he moved there he followed suggestion I said what we should all you see all do go to your neighbors and invite them to come in for dinner have dinner and if they don't come go back to the ones that didn't come and ask them again and he said he did it a couple of times and almost everybody finally came and they all got to know the names and they all became friends and they connected with each other now that was deep wisdom and action on author's part and that's who he was but you know to go to make these things happen it's like fighting it's like swimming upstream because everything is asking us to become virtual I mean the great lesson of the COVID period was the way I've said it's kind of like God saying okay you guys don't meet up with each other try this if you don't spend time with you really try this for a while now now what do you think you know and I know so many people who say that now that that's past we want to come together ancestral yeah well there's you know the homey paths have been on to the specifics of what we inherit genetically for over 200 years very specifically and tracking them only in the past say 30 40 40 years the field of epigenetics has come about which identifies again these influences came out of the irish famine mostly you know that they saw that the results that could be tracked and traced if you were part of that that the inherited predisposition for that and and and probably uh you know one of the predisposition was you're going to be real hungry when the time comes you're going to want some potatoes but yeah there is but by a large generosity these inherited predispositions but what we know we were born pure and these are only predispositions that we're not necessarily going to inherit but you know if we if if that was in our family line it probably would be useful to take more care and it's only the homey paths that have got into it in detail and you can address in person what they call the myasms the inherited negative predispositions and the families of those myasms and then they can address them the homey pathogrammities and change change the constitution change the whole trajectory now speaking of trajectory i want to get to another principle here how are you for time so can i reiterate what you just said tell me if that's right during the pandemic about separation the pandemic you were in an industry that in which you had to connect with people and you said you weren't going to stop is that yes i wasn't going to stop okay and uh actually amongst the builders we started to do research immediately and found that we were going to ride around with a piece of paper saying we're essential workers in case we got pulled over because you know everybody's panicking and we're like we got to keep going yeah um but in the time of i guess that span because that span is crazy it's like it's been two years yes um the draw that i felt is that the umma of Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam has inherited from rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam yes in a way that is different from everything else in creation in that you know allows sending of that event that final blow yes once you've reached a certain distance from behavior and yet we have the you know the coming of rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam allowing us to go into the end of time yet us as an umma we're supposed to be an example of this connection that you know you really see it in the earthly series where it's like you think that they were erics the way they see it in the word in the earthly series the uh turkish series okay this tv thing yeah where you know everyone is as if the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam belongs to them yeah you know and and it's what draws us together so that's you know kind of like what we were saying in earlier so just that that separation thing like we as an umma really got to realize that like we are connected by choice that a lot shows us to be muslim yes and no i mean yes because we should be but we're not we've not taken that lesson as deeply as we might have i mean people used to say to me can you come to our community and talk about islam for the youth or something and i'd say what community you mean the community gets together maybe for joma maybe once a year for aid and you have to drive a half hour to see your friends i mean we have to accept part of what i want to say the reason i say yes and no is this is our mandate as muslims you know to do that but we haven't been knowing it not the way we could have i remember i was in pakistan and the the when i was studying the man who ran the big sugar companies balani ibrahim balani i don't know if anybody knows his famous family uh he invited me to come to dinner at his house in this i just think downtown carachi and i went to his house with him and it was this apartment building in the middle of carachi just the plain old apartment building you know and we went in he was on the like the fourth floor or something like that and i thought what's this guy he's he's a man you know they call magnets right you know magnet no like a economic financial magnet whatever they call you know big big dude and and i thought how can you be living here and then i realized i found out that this entire apartment building would have a common courtyard in the floors where it was all a family one family and that that was all these extended family was like a thousand people all living together all the children could go and play with each other you know that is a community and in terms of i don't know what your project is about you mentioned but my wife when she was in england she joined a co-housing community how many people know co-housing co-housing community nobody you know co-housing co-housing communities are communities of people it's not like hippie communes it's usually professional people who can own a house or be part of a community in which they have common grounds and they all have a kind of they have rules they will live by like the community she was in my wife was in was the oldest one in in england in stout and they no drugs or alcohol or is allowed amongst that community but they all can you know every day communicate with each other they have kids to watch they all know each other and they have common ground every every member of the community has the opportunity to make a meal if they want to for everybody or not and it's very kind of well managed and regulated but you know i know someone who is one of the major people involved in zaytuna she really kept zaytuna running back in the early days and she left and she went to a co-housing community and said she said this is the way we should be living as muslims but no one's doing it well maybe down the road inshallah maybe that's i don't know if that's your project the trees good well they do i mean i think they they do like most people they they manage i mean at the start most of the people are well well enough regulated for being socially you know managing and then they do these things on their own but i mean very few people you find that they're not damaged in some way and they don't need some help i mean i i don't think it exists i don't think it exists and and and the question is always well are in moms there's an interesting study that's done by this man i don't know how useful this is for any of you but i think it's interesting to reflect on and to know that there's a man who did a study on outcomes and he has an organization of therapists mental health workers if you want i don't like use that term mental health i think it's it's pretty short-sighted it's not i mean that's kind of it's it's got a stigma that's you know mental health and and the dsm you know the diagnostic manual and qualifying and naming all these psychological illnesses just a poor attempt to be quote-unquote scientific like the medical field which is disaster because it's not the same the human being has endless unnameable and unrecognizable factors in what's going on their whole beings so uh i lost my track oh and the problem yeah so they deal with individually you know just like people do here but they keep this community part going that it's the thing the thing is traditionally in muslim you know what happened then during coven in morocco people who knows what happened some of you know i know some of you anybody familiar what happened during the coven time in morocco i mean it's indicative of something really really important they all when they were locked down company they couldn't go out they went to the rooftops and they sang poems and calcitas from building top to building top across the cities and the villages i mean well what kind of i mean that's that's a response that's an idea you can't do better than that but it says something about their basic you know they weren't in there getting i mean in this country what are the people who are going out buying as much toilet paper and guns it's like toilet paper and guns like what does that say about the society it's not good and and you know in terms of what houses what i'm giving you is how is this meant to be back to how is this meant to be useful it's for all of us to wake up wake up and recognize that a law gave us a mandate that's extraordinary and by our name get the guidance that if we take it take it on and use it to transform ourselves and serve others it's remarkable and what it can do and and and i i suggest we must do it because it was like many many years ago there was a gathering there was a gathering that's probably 30 years ago or something about with all these scientists and doctors and all these different people and they got together and it was an international gathering and the thing was like what do we do to deal with the future and it wasn't about climate change or anything it was about how do we manage the insanity that's coming about how do we sustain ourselves emotionally psychologically how do we keep balanced in this world is coming because it's going off the rails that was 30 40 years ago and it's not gotten any better one of my teachers in an old old and do respect any therapists in here i can say this to you huh and i don't mean this i don't mean this to do the little therapists because thank god they're filling a gap uh in a in a society international society it's bereft we don't i mean one little one young girl that was my i worked with her from the time she was eight years old and she's about 14 now and her both grandfather both of her grandfathers died during covid and she said to her mom this and this moved me to tears every time i repeat this she said to her mom she said can can i can't be like my grandfather and can we have regular sessions where i just talked to her that's what the therapist has done for people carl rogers carl rogers talks talks about how you know the therapist is this person that a person meets at nake finally can tell their whole story because they know it's going to be kept private only between they can let it out and speak to someone and they can trust that they can kind of spread it they can say whatever that for so many people is like thank god you know and that it's like my teacher in pakistan remember that this what i said earlier is that when we breathe in the nervous system charges up and when we breathe out it's supposed to settle my teacher in pakistan and people used to come to him for herbs and plants whatever they come from germany all over the world and then when they were leaving he if they were the right kind of person to do that he maybe put his hand on their shoulder and say as final after or if it gives the prescription everything as they're leaving he'd say you're going to be okay and they would go oh thank you so much and i look and i think that's the medicine because they gave this great sigh of relief it's trusting that you're going to be upright but really trusting not you know talk we know more than talk because we hear beneath the talk and we believe beneath the talk this is the great advice i get for husbands and wives we have to go uh break sorry oh i left you hanging that's that's for the next episode stay tuned well the problem is all of if i give this thing on the husbands and wives all of the women were you going yeah and all the others okay i don't know about that yeah so inshallah if we're gonna take just 10 minute break just to get outside have some tea if you'd like and then be back at 315 inshallah so we're in the the final stretch of of today and one of the things we're going to pass around is one of these things and for everybody online we actually sent a link but if if for example the exercises you found them helpful some of the things that are coming out on youtube that you know the team that's been basically creating this platform for hakeem will be providing go to here hit subscribe i know that's overused and it's nobody wants to hear it but it seems to be the best method to reach everybody so we're going to pass this around and again just sign up because this is going to be the best way to get the videos that are coming out and we have so far done i think 12 12 there's 20 but 12 or sort of yeah so 12 are going to be ready and a lot of information like i said like the exercises um and other things and information that hasn't been out there before so i know there's a lot of old stuff from is it mecha centric or old videos uh yeah to make those yeah so there's some old videos but alhamdulillah there's new material 15 20 years old yeah 15 20 years old so this is new stuff that's coming out and alhamdulillah it's it's going to be just out there for anybody who wants to but again if you want to you know get the stuff as it comes out and as we edit it and as the team edits it edits it you know i hate to say it subscribe like hey guys it's hakeem hit subscribe um and yeah so so alhamdulillah just just do that and and you know we'll do them as quick as we can and then we'll talk more about the curriculum that's going to be coming out of out of the stuff so inshallah but i'll i'll pass it over to hakeem inshallah okay my energy is beginning to wane a little bit so i'll do what sometimes happens is just sit here i i get very when i speak i like to use my body as i said earlier and uh don't underestimate the level of connection that you make with people when you are embodied so the principle of connecting and being present in yourself the principle it's it's it relates to a huge reality because what i was saying earlier about all the data that we take in we look at that 40 000 synaptic connecting learning connections per second in the first two years that continues as we get older it diminishes to some degree because we begin to you know the the connections have to do with language learning language learning to learning to do more uh involves and more detailed movement because all of these things mean building building patterns and capabilities and memories building memories in ourselves and everything we learn and i i use this thousand and one nights because a thousand or someone mentioned article article these these series they're all designed so you watch one piece ah well i've got to see what happens next ah i got to do it that's life we don't always have the enthusiasm we need to recognize that every single day is a new day there is no such thing as same old same old the amount of new material that comes in at every moment in fact is so much that if we were to take it in appropriately and fully to be honest we probably wouldn't be able to walk down the street we would be so overwhelmed it's like i say to people sometimes i feel like my biggest problem is not depression i mean i this time and i feel depressed there's times when i feel angry there's times when i feel hopeful but we want to feel and be alive and all the things that that implies and that's called what my teacher said that's called being alive and and recovery in that is is called coming back to life depression as i said is the lack of feeling this is in my old videos from 20 years ago and being alive is feeling and feeling is too hard so we shut it down and we learn how not to not to have it but if we could begin to appropriately you know take on being so alive that we experience things some people experience more than others certain types of people in the homey pass have been able to identify those hypersensitive people that when something happens they experience it very deeply fully and then there's another side and these are mizaj these are different kinds of mizaj mizajat you know they're different states and different maqab different constitutions we can say but but we're so much more complex than the constitution of earth, air, fire, and water i mean we're so complex we can't measure and there are so many factors involved and what the scientists have been trying to do for so long the social scientists they've been trying to scientificize their practices and their understanding by doing and using the medical field as an example as a model and then creating the dsm that is the diagnostic manual in which they can name this this this and you've got these qualities you have you know borderline personality disorder you have these these you've got your schizophrenic it's like you know all these names and that was an attempt to become more scientific but through the matters like i said before i believe like carl roger said i believe that the biggest thing the therapist brings to a client how many therapists are i how many kinds of asses i keep expecting to see all all these hands go up usually there's a bunch uh like he said to have that one person that finally hears them you know they finally hear you know someone says well here's someone because one of the big and back to the the men women so we get to that i there's other things i was going to say but we did kind of leave off as the next episode well the prophet said to him he said woman has a domain that is enormous and women have no access or entry to it geology and roomy did a lot of commentary on that and many of the shield through the years have made commentary on what that is a lot of people have gotten upset even one woman top one time you know 15 years ago it's something got upset when i said these things because she was looking to man as being man as being this you know it's a difference it's not one over the other but we have to see realize that the prophet started to them he was honey honey he was honey since that he went to the caves and meditated and he got his revelation and what did he do when he got his revelation he left the cave came back down to the solid level ground and he went to katizia rally low and he didn't he didn't ask to be comforted but she did wrap him up he asked for advice for counsel am i crazy i'm not crazy basically that's a significant beginning to this whole drama we call Islam that was this first day the first day of it and that's why you've been allowed to be the great shea he said the path to god for men is through woman that's not a little mistake the path to god is through one now that could we we could we could see it as mother but i know i mean i could give you examples of stories of men men who have been transformed by their ways holy love and blessing and finally healed of things they were never able to heal with for whatever spiritual practices whatever therapies whatever they might do that was the final missing piece and the what the the wives and the women that are there and they're doing this they know what i'm talking about because you know things and learning to trust what you know is the secret of your wisdom your god given wisdom and hard earned wisdom in many cases if you've been pregnant if you've given birth to a child hard earned wisdom we will never know we will never have a clue of what the experience truly is like to have a menstrual cycle to bleed every month we'll never know that let alone maybe it was nine months and give birth to another human along with all the other things that are involved by a love's design in the creation of man and woman and the differences but we men so when when couples come to me and couples come to me with problems i have had it for years and the classic thing that one of my teacher said he said well of course it's always a couple comes in the man says well she's the problem she says well he's the problem duh it's going to be like that but my teacher said and he's not a boy wasn't a Muslim he said the onus is on men the onus is on men to be able to see to have the sensibility to understand the needs of this person to really hear the onus is on men to be able to hear fully understand and recognize the needs of the person they're in charge of charge of caring for not demanding from there are there are lineages of scholars from the minority the scholars who say to their students never ask your wife even to get to a glass of water if they do without you asking me you know that alone demanding woman get a human i mean it's a sad and i have a great dear libyan friend libyan friend who is a great he's very knowledgeable he said well all of that he said all of that stuff was never in the traditional Islam that was inherited from the misogynistic colonizers it was never part of it i remember there was a man here today i maybe somebody i don't want to mention his name but one of the strongest men i know standing on his own two feet traditional knowledge friends all of the scott all of the shiok used to come to his house when i was in Damascus they all came to visit at his house he didn't go to them they came and i remember what's going into i was staying at their house and what's going in his is delivering him and this strong man with great wisdom and extraordinary family he was sitting he was his mother was in his chair like this makes me want to cry because that's the kind of people he was sitting next to her with his arms around her legs and his head under the lap and i thought paradise he was so this reality to grasp that and i've seen their stories and i could give you examples of more time had more time of men who've had that final transformation come from finding a woman that they're able to hear and listen to the violence is men have to be able to come down from their frightened place of abstraction where's yellow shoes hear me i mean i just wanted i want to be sure you were there men we men have to learn how to come down from our abstracted left brain places of fear and abstraction to be safe from feelings to be balanced on the ground and not to be like a woman and not to be you know on for them to be wearing the pants nothing like that nothing say well yeah that's understatement if i remember yeah i can't argue with that much yeah in one of our lectures way back in the day i said people say about women they're oh they're too emotional and i my comment was oh thank god they've probably saved humanity you know through the years by at least expressing something so my exercise that i give men and women this is in response to that and you can take this to your husbands and some of you men may take it off but a lot of men don't do it they don't even they don't even share it i said well share it with your wife then later i found did you share it with your wife well no it's asking your wife once a week on scale one to ten how am i doing i saw husband and a father have you heard this from me anybody you've heard it some of you heard this and when they say three two five one woman said nine i was shocked then you say why and the men then the instruction because the the balance because of the voice all we have to do is one time as i said earlier one time we raise our voice and we get that voice and in the voice we can carry the aggressive message i'm in charge here i'm alpha that's our animal we have to honor our animal nature imma ma gasali said we honor it we don't deny it we run with it and we reuse it and we recognize it to our to our to our benefit and as we get further in this a little bit more today and tomorrow if you can make it inshallah our animal nature in one of the hikmahs it's our animal that heals our animal and ourselves it's our animal that heals our animal and ourselves and if we try to use this brain this thinking brain it can affect the animal enough to do change and bring change but in the end it will be the animal that changes and a lot designed in this as animals everything we need to heal from the most severe trauma in the same way not all things because we can also reset bones and do all the stuff that we can't do you know when you get a cut we don't have to demand the white cells the blood cells or the granulation of tissue we don't have to order that and cognitively make that happen it happens and the same thing is true of most severe trauma providing we allow it but we've learned mislearned and we're taught to intervene for everything to be in control because we live in a paradigm of the world of control and that is the result of fear and the the response of fear well we have a problem that's in this exit more control and the solve problem will be solved no it doesn't get solved by more control but that's kind of the existing paradigm we have problems in the street well let's get more police out there doesn't work you see he's got to get down to the root you know i'm in the same with all these social problems and all of the social political all of these problems have the same character in that they're their configurations in reality and they all operate under the same pattern of the sonata of a law the the custom of a law and the pattern of a law in ourselves in ourselves jimmy andricks and out there in the world the same we go out there in the world to learn about this and we go in this to learn about that out there that is established principle especially in the world of tesaw but it's the basic wisdom so in marriage men have to come down to earth that's the prophecy that some did women have to and women have to come down to earth and develop the ability to listen and listen and hear and men have women have to learn to trust what they know discriminate and not speak everything but trust what they what they know inherently and have the courage and the discrimination how and when to speak it with him and that's the wisdom of women that must come forth the number of women who are awliah probably outnumber the number of men is awliah way far above all the others and the men are the ones who i'm this i'm gonna shake this shake that shake your booty but women have a natural inclination to just do it not to make a big number out of it not to become sort of you know not to be you know get some aggrandization about you you follow i'm saying i see a lot of shaking heads here it's important yes yes all the time yeah yeah yeah it is interesting isn't it and the truth of the matter is if you learn if a man has a mandate to care for that woman which means he has to be able to whatever they've gone through whatever they've gone through you know and and women have gone through a lot more abuse than men men have done a lot of too i mean but it's different kinds of abuse in different circumstances but even if they know that and that's a history the ability to stand strong with a yakin and with compassion and to have the wisdom to be there for that person and to hear it be all right with it dominated as you said because my teacher my teacher my beloved teacher i always say this about him he was a beloved man i mean the little time i spent with him and everybody that met him he wasn't a muslim but if he'd discovered Islam he would have loved the Habra i was always disappointed that he never had a chance to experience it but something that he told me what was i saying before i said like i'm sorry i lost that thread it was yes so did you all hear that did the people in home hear that just that he was saying and i think you're exactly right i mean we're not it's it's not just that we're not trained but the training that we would hope to have had is to become the kind of people who intrinsically and organically know this to validate what a person's feeling and that it's okay i mean the great the great thing that mothers do to child babies when they were young is all the emotions in the affect dynamics they go through the mothers they're saying it's okay you agree okay it's all right do you hear it it could be angry it's all right to me there's always this whole past and but you know just consult consolation and if we didn't get that and we we didn't grow up that's hard to learn it but it is intrinsic for us to know it i mean it's in our being a lot gave us everything we needed inside what i was going to say from dr lo and i remember now that left off was he said we have three kind of basic basic fears the first fear is being open because it's vulnerable so you know like i said we go to a therapist and we go to somebody and we find somebody i mean how many times and i'm sure all of you have someone who's come to you and said i've never told this to anyone before but and they'll tell you something true because there's a bunch of that's and that's that that's good sign that means you're trustworthy persons for them they'll say that they trust you and he said so there's three basic fears people have is being open because of the vulnerability the second one is reaching out because you may be rejected to be rejected or shunned is one of the most egregious things that happened to the human animal to any mammal to any any mammal when they get rejected by the by the flock of the tribe that you know the herd whatever it might be you know all these different names everything we have all these different names i love that they call a group of lions they call a pride a pride of lions and and when you were shunned and were rejected from that group when i was at UC Berkeley and i was working in the film department their the most popular film was baboon social behavior and it was a long documentary defining and demonstrating all these complicated social patterns these baboons had each generation his father uncle cousin and and then all these things that things they could do and they couldn't do and it was you know they didn't read it in a book they didn't get it from margaret mead who knows margaret mead anybody they didn't get it from margaret mead or any you know sociologists it was in their dna very complicated and if you went to a baboon and you wanted to give them a banana you know some tourists intervening you coming in you know maybe that that first that baboon there was not allowed to have that that they'd have to go to that uncle or that person and the point there being that these structures are so are complex and the same thing with the structures that we've built in the past historically and especially high context cultures when they were intact and healthy were awesome and from them came remarkable things and remarkable people the problem is the modern world came in people with with the locomotives and engines that crashed all these things destroyed destroyed you know when there's the what do they call the people that were the in manchester that the the ones that were against the the machines coming in the what the what the luddites yeah the luddites are still a mystery because there's no there's no ludd nobody knows who who starts that movement you know it says but it's really interesting story because the luddites were not it wasn't they're afraid of losing jobs what they said the luddites they said no this will ruin society to have machines making and doing the work that we used to do by hand it will rent the fabric and that's basically what did those fabric makers weavers and stuff were renting and a lot of those luddites luddites became shunned and excluded and they went east africa and became muslims and pirates but it's an interesting story you know it's an awesome thing to play so being so being open so being open and reaching out reaching out as if we fear because we'll be shunned it's terrible and so children what is this thing that we have in our youth these days in schools of building i mean it's just it's beyond belief it's not okay you know these some things that i if i just speak about it to people and i realize as i'm speaking and how egregious it is how terrible it is it's like the number of people that died from their own hand then died in the vietnam war vietnam war i mean how can i say that without being you know waiting something's really wrong here more died than in actual war same thing how these men and children are bullied and then they source things that can happen to a person to feel shunned and anyone who's felt shunned you know what i'm talking about i mean it cuts so deep because our nature is to be connected and i guess i said to you some people said the opposite of addiction is connection because people that's what they're missing they're missing real human connection with other human beings like themselves you know that they feel part of are we all ready for time let me just finish this no one's third fear his third fear and this relates to what we're talking about his third fear is he said the third fear we have is speaking out and he said and his genius i think he said and we fear speaking out he didn't say not because we're not heard he said speaking out we fear because we feel will be destroyed because not being heard is like a message that says you don't exist i learned in urdu just this last year i probably didn't learn it because i can't remember but the phrase is what do you know you're just a woman what do you know that's it anybody know that or do phrase huh i don't remember but yeah but you notice and it's just yeah what do you know and that says basically because that that message and that exchange and that configuration it's not like you're not very inherent it's like you don't exist that's about validation too i'm feeling and saying oh you'll be all right you have to you just you need to do this you need to do that you have blah blah blah i mean learning like she said we don't we've never learned like what what does it tell me i'm sorry if you know that would be but more that exercise that i give asking your wife on the scale of one to ten then you listen to what she has to say you don't say a word you don't interrupt especially and when she's finished you say what else and then men you take away what happens in your body what do i feel in my body what do i feel how many men have come to me in with that somatic work and i say what do you feel in your body he says there's nothing like i said my teacher said so you're dead then that was dr lonan said that he said so you're dead yeah and a lot of men are dead in terms of nuance of feeling so questions and answers or questions let me just say this one of the secrets of questions and answers is you know the answer to the question if you have it that's a long i don't know if we have time to get into that whole thing but it's uh it's a it's a kind of deep truth about these things yes uh aslan akim oh sorry what's the one i thought what happened to your voice sorry about that um now i was wondering because you were talking a little bit about mental health and stuff like that i was just curious like what would you say is um if it's not scientific necessarily that how would you treat things like bipolar and schizophrenia because those are very common nowadays a lot of people have is how how does the hikma tradition treat those well the hikma tradition has been lost but you'll find it you know where you find a tradition of hikma is usually in in cultures that have not been damaged by the modern world so much it's like uh the story trying to think of who this johan harry does anyone know that name johan harry lost connections he's got a ted talk or something like that but he's got a book called lost connections and it's about connections and losing connections and i probably should have that more details about that but that's a book worth reading lost connections but it's about mental illness and he talks about um visiting uh somewhere in africa where this person was the they something happened or maybe it was india had forgotten all the story but the person's land was taken from and he was a farmer and had this land and uh the land was taken from and he was in grief because he couldn't live his life anymore as a farmer and traditions of farming and he was there for this event and what was happening and so they their medicine you know what their medicine was that healed him from the depression that he had they gave him a cow and he took the cow and he made it into his business and got milk and he got other cows and i mean there were in place ways of dealing with difficulties that we've lost in more and in algeria i stayed with a man who was the he was the warden of a prison high security prison he lived in the top floor of the prison with all the prisoners down below the murderers and all these you know and uh he was dying of a of a fatal illness of some kind i don't know what it was he was he was dying he was been in the tradition there in morocco in some of north africa was they would do what they call the liethl shifa healing night and they go out and they get as many of the poor people as they can the more the poorer they are the more they are they bring them in and they feed them they sing they they sing they make dicker they sing calcitas they do all that they make dicker then they feed them really really well and then everybody makes dua for that person and they and this man i met he was the warden of this prison they all made dua for him and they all these poor people and all these all the friends and you know all all the levels of the people they all made dua not only you know heal him and also give him a really good job for them that was the ideal getting a good job and he became the warden of the prison you know he was there chico abdo cotter was his his name but that there were these things that were in place the therapist a hundred years ago was called uncle auntie grandfather they were people that we can nowadays you go to a therapist and the therapist has a schedule well you week ten sessions you've been in twelve sessions so it's time to let you go this is it and and i and i'm not i'm not allowed to be friends with you it's like what what happened there you know used to be the doctor would come to the sunday dinner in america yeah and feelings yeah yeah well you see i mean there you've got the essence of a good therapist a good therapist i mean therapists you don't give them advice to you then that's any therapist's worth is what is what is a therapist worth worth is you know the expression worth something and you listen and you let them give advice to themselves because their healing is they know we all know what we need inside and you give them the courage to make that journey to what they know they need and where they need that where they know they need to go but that used to be the grocery seller i mean when i used to go to morocco we'd go to these shiokha these scholars and we listen we go oh my god nothing then it would be true it'd be just overwhelming your heart and tears and you know amazing experiences to hear these truths and then we'd go and get the cab and the cab driver on the driver in the cab back he would he would be too bitter on them by the time we got to the thing we'd be even more because he would be talking about whatever happened from the place of wisdom these things used to be in place as a matter of fact in communities and even before the so-called mental illness i don't like that term because i think it's it's misleading especially if it leaves us the idea that we've got something in the brain that needs to be altered with drugs that that book johann harry lost connections it's about his journey when he discovered ssri's antidepressants and tried to convince all of his friends oh this is the greatest thing at all all of his depressed friends ssri this is the answer and then when it stopped working he said whoops wait a minute and then he began this long journey of research across the world and he came up with this book called lost connections that that's what was missing and there's no there's no single it's not like one you know shoe fits all it's not like that but because hikmah is about uh arriving at some place in yourself where you're you trust what Allah's giving you and you use the wisdom that you've gotten i mean no one says in this Quran it says he says Allah will purify you purify you or he will purify you referring to the prophecy i said we'll give you the guidance to purify you you will the kitab the principles in Quran the Quranic principles and the hikmah which is considered by some that meaning some some see the meaning of that is it's a product of those other things they all come together and it's a light living thing it's a living a live thing you know i mean i i mean how many times i have asked myself well what is this person need now and i was once working with a medical doctor and i had proper prescriptions with the license number on it and i just for the six year i did that i wrote prescriptions and i went i wrote this prescription offer this man i said i said i'm going to give you a prescription and will you promise me you could do your best to follow it even as hard as it might be to do this he said yes and i rode out ride horses i gave it to him the guy turned white and he said i've had a terrible fear it's incredible fear of horses my entire life he said i'll do it but that where did that come from Allah is the one that heals whether it's antibiotics even i mean there's even a place for psychotropic you know for those drugs there's a love's mercy is in all things including the antibiotic it's one of the things i teach people who are into natural medicine because a lot of them say no i'm not going to do this i'm not going to do that medicine i'm going to treat it naturally well you know i've been in situations there was one man i mean they call people called me to his house the guy was dying from the perforated ulcer and i knew i said this guy you need to get him to the hospital said no no we want to treat him naturally isn't there something we can do some yogurt or something i had to go and call the ambulance myself and then years later i met the guy up at random and he he was with friends he came running over he said friend come and meet this is how king he saved my life his mercies and and the mercy i months had a conversation with the head the head of the british pharmaceutical association he's the head of it and he said to me personally said well personally i believe 80 of our drugs are useless and i said oh and he said and i'm conservative he said my teacher really but 90 a law is the one that heals and there's much too much confusion about what a placebo is and what what's the other third term people use nice evil no seable is that the other term there's confusion about because people don't understand we'll get to this and i know we may not get to it today there's so much on my list of things to cover on the unseen i mean people most of us we believe in the unseen dalikal kitab Allah says at the beginning of his the beginning after fatihah in the beginning of we believe in the unseen okay let's believe in it let's not become new agey and believe in willy nilly imagination no the unseen is the greater greater realm than this aftermath which is the result of the unseen so Allah's generous and he's generous in the sense that we can recover from all of these things including the medications that become almost like a trap in some way they become independence but i've seen it through the years many people take some time take some time it's some skill and we can say artistry take some artistry to move someone out of an addiction knowing who they are and knowing what will support them and homeopathy as a medicine is it it was developed the whole way in which homeopathy was produced the way the medicines are produced came from the Arabs and the man who developed homeopathy in the modern times pretty definitely was a muslim before he died people don't know that the muslim the muslim doctors don't know that and then you go to wikipedia and the page on homeopathy is closed you can't add anything and it says homeopathy is a pseudoscience period that's the first that's the first beginning of it so there's lots to be done and i believe personally that understanding these basic foundational principles to hickom us that list look over that list and look at each one and say what does that mean what does that imply what are the implications of that what does that mean about anything this that this that like i say the the hickma of anything we cannot assimilate or eliminate that's a deep hickma that relates to trauma food people experiences it it applies to so much everything we take in that we cannot assimilate and remain whole from i mean i remember this terrible experience you've seen where we're driving with some friends and one of the young boy in the car of the family was with us he went out and had to go and pee in the field and he went out there and he found a pornographic magazine stop along and he took that in and his mother's reaction when she discovered the trauma and the drama that came from that i worry for the kid because how does he integrate that you know shake a lullaby who knows shake a lullaby that's good mustapil a lullaby radio low honey he said he said our path is in the estinja it's in estinja and estinja is is a really beautiful practice and it teaches us more than cleaning our butts and washing after being you know people people say to me well don't tell you know don't talk about civilized people there was a recent discussion about you know muslims not being civilized or something and and someone of the muslims said to me well you know the civilized meaning thinking you don't have to wash your use a lot of something you know is that civilized and wearing shoes on the floor in the house no that's not civilized at all but the principle of estinja is whatever you take in the food you assimilate what you can nourish yourself with it can't you let the rest go you wash done with it same thing with all experiences we want to be able to take in and be with whatever not let it overwhelm us or destroy us by toxicity take what we can from it people who have come from uh you know me too shakes and they they come to me and they say oh my you know and i can see they're totally destroyed by by the betrayal they feel i thought this guy's a high spiritual thing and i still haven't gotten over him i still really want to be with him and love him but yeah this other thing you know and they're struggling with that it's a good example of you taking what you can you assimilate and you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater you take because the other deep interest important secret is whatever it is you happen whatever affliction whatever so-called mental illness you have this in the end can be the gift of wisdom or compassion or something that you yourself will discover when you pass through it and come out of it you hear me your purity your beauty your magnificence remains intact people come to me and say there's one man that came to me this makes me want to cry i said to him you can change you can come out of this and he said what's the use i'm going to go hell anyway that's a terrible belief i said only a love only a love knows who's going to hell you can come out of it he told me about a dream he had in the dream he couldn't open his hands he could not open his hands and closed and when in the dream either in the dream or afterwards in a session he was able to open his hands and he realized it was his ability to ask a love make do the first step in the 12 steps which is still one of the best therapies for predictions of any kind so coming to these things you know the hikmah is coming in a deep way to one cell first of all and that means these disparate parts of our being begin to come together a lot of design to take that way and the trouble we have is we want these things to become whole one of the videos i send out to people and you know it is a it's a video of a impala who is caught by a cheetah and the the cheetah has its has its jaws on the neck of this impala and the impala is effectively dead it is in the state of what we call the mammalian diving reflex state which means its heart stops its breathing stops it's eventually it's effectively dead as a protective possum you me all mammals have this capability which is called the mammalian diving reflex because when they discovered that if person drowned and there was no heartbeat and there was no breath they would pronounce them dead and it would be after half hour but now they know it it can be longer you can sustain that longer period if need be and and and so you've got to get the chance for them to come back but we do it in in degrees we shut down sorry oh sorry yeah i'm sorry more questions yes oh sorry um so i'm a person who kind of like overthink things in my mind oh really like the rest of us i don't know what other people are having in their minds but like sometimes if i'm alone i'll have the instinct to be like speak it out loud yes and and i used to like really like not try to fight against that because i'm like that's kind of crazy to like just speak and sometimes i'm like talking out like a story of what happened and it's like okay i already know what happened and i guess i sort of i let myself do that now um because it's it's almost like i'm thinking about it's almost like you're playing like a child will play out a scene or or it's something that i need to say it's almost like journaling but it's like out loud it's not like written so i'm just curious as to what you would think about that or i'm like is this like a sign that i just really need friends and i need to talk to people or it's a sign or what that i need to have more connections with humans so that i can express this that way i don't know but it sounds it sounds interesting to me it's like the thing is here's a principle too i believe everything we feel can and really ideally must be expressed everything we feel can and must be expressed now some things are more bigger than other things in terms of that need but there are big things if it's not if it doesn't come out from us it will destroy us that was Albert Camus the french poet that said that i mean i would whatever else he said that's a principle and everything that we feel can be expressed if it's done with compassion and hold as much as we can and holding to uh which and and done with some hitman there's ways and we can learn this people and some people are better at than others sounds like you're learning a method to express what you feel that's that's that's a great thing to be able to learn and it's an artistic aspect of one's being to be able to express what you feel i mean the artist is the one that expresses what comes from within them and it was Picasso and Freud both at the same time in the world who said if that doesn't happen for the artist they won't survive it has to come out really that's nice i i worked for a while with a with a Jewish doctor under his licensure and we only did homeopathy for years and he was disabled and i helped him with his disabilities so he could learn to walk and stuff like that speak somewhat speak and he was so impressed with homeopathy he said let's open the clinic we had a clinic for years in any case he once fell down when he was trying to walk and he was so angry at god that he gave him the finger and i said david what are you doing can't give god the finger and and then i realized wait a minute there's a kind of very personal intimacy there and that's who he was and i kind of after that i thought well come to think of it yeah i'm not recommending it for anybody but with him you know i i i realized there was something that demonstrated his his being sedic genuinely do you know what i'm saying here so you know artists i love artists my wife always complains that i know artists if she sees some sort of hippie person that's like really new agey she says i know you like those kind of people and say well you know that's not true but i do love one definitely one kind of person in particular the person who is struggling with themselves i have a genuine love for that because i struggle with my own and this is how many therapists how many therapists have become therapists because they had some success in some way and they said i'm going to do this i'm going to do this for others duh but i love the person that has difficulty because i can do my best to help them discover that they can do it themselves and one of the things i love from one of my teachers is his line is his line was of course you can do this of course you can of course you can because you want it and these people these are the special people because like i said in the in my lecture from Cape Town i said when a person comes to me to say they're depressed and anxious have anxious anxiety and this problem in that problem you know what i recognize is that's because they're not accepting the status quo most cases they've been hit and smashed by the world by the family by the culture by the school by whatever and and people who come with addictions you know one of the important things for them to know is their purity and their innocence is not only intact but allows us and when you leave the path and come back you come back at a higher place than when you left this is a deep absolutely wonderful principle it's true and that's true in husbands and wives when you fight and you come back together and friends when you fight and you separate when you come back together the prophet said shall i tell you something better than prayer and fasting you all know the answer to this right maybe not shall you tell me something better but of course he said it's reconciling the differences between people bringing peace between two people or three people or countries or whatever family members if we knew the value of family members and what we can do with them one of the things one of my new approaches to a lot of healing i'm doing is i call it allies and healing for someone who's working to heal in any way to find the ally in their family that can assist them in that journey or more than one my sister god bless her helped me on my journey dramatically and i saw that Allah was with us because i would do something and i'd share it with her and then she'd tell me something that coincidence was so dramatic that i could see it was Allah's hand telling you know affirming yes you do this together and this is the beauty of family systems therapy my wife did family systems for years in which we have she worked with suicidal teenager the suicidal teenager comes in comes in with as many family members as they can and the very first session almost always the first session that suicidal what they call the identified patient not really you know discovers hey wait a minute it's not me it's this it's the whole configuration this is something we have to see and be able to discriminate who we are and what the world is that doesn't mean we become these exiles and you know rebels and all the though but we begin to discriminate and understand how do we how do we work and manage this insanity up there what where we set our boundaries what can we do not do you know i mentioned earlier about my work my wife we used to be you know for watching a television thing and then something happened the other thing is the violence the same we don't watch it you know we just click fast forward and you know and it doesn't it doesn't take anything from the plot but even set your eyes on it we wonder there's you know there's ways to manage this world if it's what i and with children it's important to get that how you debrief them effectively and successfully in the world because they'll go out there and they'll get poisoned and how do you get that you know how do you how do you enable them and teach them in the process because they will be learning in it it's one of the great ways to learn providing their fully debriefed so it's it's not just something why you should do this you're doing this as a good Muslim it's not but no it's got to be real for them so we have a lot of questions online about okay mental health in particular ocd depression adhd what's a holistic approach to these and how do people go about identifying healing from them okay so ocd adhd well all of these how do we go about healing from them i mean the thing i mentioned earlier is a lot of people say that i mean the thing we're missing is connections and the thing we're missing is connections with healthy people healthy on all levels and there was a movement some time ago still it's probably still around in which people would treat these illnesses the so-called illnesses with a setting in which there would be at least five therapists quote unquote therapists five clinicians to one person now that's hard to do but if we look at that thing of genuine connections with and i will add to it not just people with animals real connections in which people begins to feel safe with that other this is one of the things that can bring back a sense of security in the person and bring back balance and a clear and a clear understanding and viewing of the self and it integrate integration our bodies and our beings are driving for resolution and integration in the first place that's why we're quote unquote depressed and we speak or anxious and speak when a person comes to the problem it's better than someone who has no problems on fine then they turn on the tv or take another drug or do another drink i mean we've got to look at this we live in now someone named it this culture we live in the post-alcoholic era when people are surviving by drugging themselves so i mean ocd all of these things can be healed if a person were in and this is easy to say but almost impossible to bring about they were in a healthy environment with people they were loving they connected to them to listen to them they spent time with them and interacted and engaged with them but that's hard to bring about but i will say this the more we look at the things that bring people together this is why i say vicar we need to make vicar in groups we need to make it allowed so that we hear the voices of each other the singing and the voices affect all of the nerves every every pore is a nerve and an ear this is the headquarters of ears that every pore feels that every and all these nerves when we're singing in people and we're singing particular things in which the meaning means something we know the meaning of the songs we're singing the poems we're singing praising god praising that reality and especially in some cases where the things we're singing actually carry the messages from a cognitive point of view that to do what we need what we need in terms of healing whether we recognize it consciously or not coming together being with each other feeding each other drinking together drinking together that's not exactly what i meant roomy well yeah drinking one i mean the suffies refer to this this thing in which we can speak about certain things and if we speak from our heart other hearts respond i mean i remember my shake and my teachers in Morocco they would get discourse about things and people would break down crying you know that's what it's about communicating with another person not communicating connecting with another person heart to heart so these things can heal all of these things and if we i mean there's nothing wrong with with a lot of the techniques that people have come up with for ocd and i mean although the ocd handbook i looked at that thing one time and i thought well i don't even think this is a good idea to go to these exercises it's affirming the fact that you have this thing called ace ocd i mean we have to realize that the the psychological community at some point decided that it needed to be more scientific so they wanted to take on the patterns and the modes of the scientists with definitions indefinite and they created the dsm the diagnostic manual but i've had many people come to me and say like someone said well i have you know i have the add and i said no you don't have the add okay first of all i wouldn't say this to everybody because some people some people a little portion of relief when they told well you have this or you have that that's named in fact there's a term that they use in in psychology they say name it and tame it you know which they go well yeah but sometimes naming it is like fixing it too you know fixing it in place and i said you don't have that you you you're you're full on and you're struggling with this and not in this that's and we all struggle with things and the product of that struggle when you succeed and get past it will be gifts from a lot that's the way it works and they say well i promise you i don't do so well and if you speak with person with certainty like that they believe it because we recognize certainty in another person's voice we know when they're saying they mean what they say i remember a lecture i went to and people are talking about the environment environment one got one one man was this what's the guy that wrote to uh by uh Hedana Shiva does anybody know Hedana Shiva she's a Hindu woman Hedana Shiva i always i'm always pleased with people people yeah Hedana she's a very extraordinary activist i went to hear a lecture with her and the other man was in absence of the sacred you know that they were both talking about the environment Santa Fe has always been in one of these places they were both giving lectures and and the two of them gave their lecture and then she gave her lecture they both some of the things he said was the same thing but when she said it sorry it went to my heart when he said it was like i was he was being read from a book or something do you get what i'm getting at here and that's why the the the Sufis in Morocco the dark kawiyah some of they say there are wine is in our speech it's not in the singing it's in what we have to say heart to heart because that's where we and i've seen people you know fall down from a lecture in those cases when we make dhikr we do dhikr in group and that opens your heart and opens your being so that when you do that after the dhikr in the hadra the very vigorous exercise of expression of how you you're living when you do that and you're hoping then you hear the words your state changes to a place where we can hear that's what i was saying for the husbands it's not that you listen it's that you hear it's a it's a step deeper than that so ocd i mean one of my favorite people i love this man he had ocd he used to wipe his his brother always wanted to borrow his car and he had a car and the brothers didn't they only wanted to borrow his car but he cleaned everything and he was afraid mostly afraid of things that weren't cleaned that would affect his family members so he'd clean his car and he wouldn't let his brother borrow his car because it would never get never get clean enough he would use baby wipes and if he wiped once with a baby wipe it would be dirty so he had to get a new baby wipe and he said the hardest part is around the gas pedal it was hard to clean around that and he was going on for this for a long time and i gave him homey feather homey feather remedies by their way are one of the gifts of the law it's a hikmah of medicine for our times period nothing more to say and that's another whole workshop upon workshop but this things that we've talked about so signing up for these are things in which i talked more at length among these individual subjects and we've got you know a lot we have a lot coming but this man anyway one day i said to him what you know what uh how's the cleaning going and he said all the cleaning he said well i'm not bothering with that anymore excuse me it's been years been a couple years i've been working with him he said in fact i loaned my brother my car today really and he said yeah and he said well what's what do you account for that and he's a really intelligent guy that's the thing people who are really intelligent have some of the worst difficulty they're brilliant and all you have to do is move them out of that place in which their their gifts are available for them and others so he said i said that and he said well you know i think it was that exercise and i give different exercise for different people but one of the exercise they give the people and this one i gave him was he's take two small dumbbells maybe three pounds five pounds at the most he's strong so five pounds each minute and you use these dumbbells not like this to build some muscle or something but you use it in terms of exploring your range of motion back to what dr loan said he says as is the body so is the self okay a stiff body is a stiff person right a flexible body is a flexible you're there you are like flexing stretching i hope some of you can come to me how much more time do we have today well i hope you can come because tomorrow we're going to i want to get into another exercise that's really interesting and basically i don't you'll find it anywhere that's my that's my next episode but a way a body with a wide range of motion is a habitat for the self with a wide range of motion read possibilities does that make sense body guy yeah so he said i think it's that exercise and i he said i particularly like this one where i stretch all the way around here in my body it has a wider range of motion and movement a body that can move in flexible many different directions translates as a person that has many possibilities as is the body so is the self that's a very simple the hikma that describes well how and why that can be effective anyway so there's ways i love this generous that's my answer um so i hear what you're saying about like giving like say that that that um the hekim that would give the herbs and then say i really i think you'll be okay um that concept it makes sense because when someone else kind of has confidence in me and is encouraging you feel like like you can do it more right yes but um so i'm a student midwife and i've been in people's labors and and and have tried to give them that confidence but then you're like i think you can do this and then they can't they end up in a c-section or something and i feel like i've let them down because i didn't know like a law is the only one who knows and it's like i want to say inshallah you can but that almost you know it's talk for a lot like that almost feels like you're doubting in a way like you know so i struggle with this i guess in terms of my care for women in labor because i don't want to like give them false promises and i have no control over if it's going to happen or not well well let me ask you do you know absolutely with some women that they're going to go through fine and they can do it i never know i mean you never know they're not something really that's usually if everything's going fine they don't need encouragement it's happening right yeah um but if a woman's in labor for 12 hours and you're like yeah but i mean that the kind of person do you have is any sense of the women who are supple and kind of in their fitra enough that you can sense they're going to do all right they could be out of the desert and they'd made it may they'd do it no um i probably am not good enough at that yeah well well the the art of obstetrics if you want to use that term the art of midriffery has been my wife my my not my wife sorry my daughter had two births that were half hour 45 minutes and she said it was mostly because she read this the book that i gave her to read with a chapter on the misogyny of doctors and men who convinced socially and collectively women that they couldn't do it without you know there was so that one it was the most difficult pain ever and that and that may be true but that's not the point and and the the overriding and over the overarching belief i have a may i may we didn't spoke about this a lot you know you know i may yeah yeah that concept that you know it's an impossible unnatural thing i mean we are mammals and we've lost our mammalian nature and we will never have full full and our fault we'll never have full animal nature because we're humans and that means we're a very particular kind of mammal and we'll never achieve absolute animal proficiency that's true but that whole business of you know what we believe collectively becomes so powerful you know and you know this if you're a midwife say you know this you know i mean i work my clinic was in a birthing center in a midwifery college for years in tauce and you know there's a woman who is the midwife there i mean i don't think she's i mean because yeah people have been affected my daughter did that but my other daughter didn't do it she had disaster birth you know it was difficult let's say not disastrous so i was like my grand daughter came far from a disaster but it was you know the midwife screwed up you know but in any case it's a hard one because that that thing is so powerful but but basically it's one of those things we have to deal with it the world is really dementia it's it's not only dementia it's diabolic is that all right to say that oh sorry but but every one of us has the capability as muslims and as human beings to muster courage and bring the truth and bring light to all this stuff but recognize it and seeing it for what it is and we see it and we have a more balanced view of it the more integrity have within ourselves the more connections we have with ourselves that all the despair we grow up a lot we have a life of contradictions that we have to live with i love my father i love my mother but they did this and they did that and they did this and they do that okay how do i reconcile that how do i bring that together in wholeness of myself and when we begin to make that kind of wholeness and connecting and healing that's a heal heal means to make whole comfortable from the word whole to be to heal means to be made whole and that was my first workshop was coherence called the first verse of coherence in the self the second one with vibrancy vibrancy in the self the life of being alive fully alive and what i'm we're talking about here is this next step of wholeness in the self and connecting with others as a result so i don't have an easy answer for that you know because i think that's probably a pretty major thing i mean there are a lot of things when you understand the fluidity and capability i mean the fact that a mother a woman can have a baby in the first place is pretty awesome and when we begin to understand the body when we begin to understand the body and the necessity for the equilibrium of the musculature and the structures equilibrium in the sense that we have chronically tightened am i right chronically tightened muscles and chronically lax muscles and this is disparity in this in in in balance gives us posture and and body shapes and all these things you know it was well followed well well followed by emerson again who said the body we he said we can understand the body by understanding a huge tent in which we have a central pole and then we have all of these poles around the side ropes the tie lines and each one of them has to be at the right tension balancing the other one and these people to get in there and the in the gym and they do this and they do so until they have these bulging biceps you know and i feel badly for them because it's not helping it's probably going to damage them because they can become muscle bound it binds their sense of self rather than being the strength i mean one man that i recommend i didn't have this resource is out as a man in australia his name is his name i can't i have trouble with names but he says the strength of the body is in the flexibility and these not the hardness of the musculature but the extraordinary equilibrium of the musculature that's where strength and the and the flexibility and the agility and the grace of that my cat i learned this from my cat i learned it earlier because i've studied the body from i was very young very young and my cat i used to watch my cat jump from the floor to a seven foot loft on her own just and i and i looked and i watched and i realized she did it because she used every hair on her body from her whiskers to her end of her tail and every muscle every part in harmony and in coherence together to do that one thing she did was amazing but that's an animal you know some athletes get that they can get that very highly developed so that's a hard one i used to i learned that i delivered my first son and then afterwards i said okay this is the word for women not for me and not because it was overwhelming because i just realized i'm not supposed to be here they're supposed to you guys are supposed to be there and my one of my daughter's best birth was with other muslim women reciting Quran during the birth allowed clearly allowed and that people in the hospital they were it was often they were just people who don't even know what Quran is they they love it and they respond to it sorry done so there are people who sigh a lot and sorry there are people who sigh sigh a lot so other than it being perhaps a coping mechanism or type of release is there is that an indication of something deeper like why do people do that well i mean it's a style in the homeopathic realm it's a style indicating a particular remedy but that usually means a situation in which there has been emotional something in something that's taking place in which they're emotionally trying to release because the sigh is a sigh of relief when we inhale tension activation when we exhale should be settling should be when there's not settling i mean if we had more time we could do these because the experiment is experimenting with different breath frequencies you know two in eight out four in four out four in two out and so forth all of these will bring different states and so people say well just breathe no it's not that simple breathe for some people if they just start breathing uh and breathing and feeling Dr. Lohan breathing and feeling and sensation come together anyone who's depressed even if they're on meds or not they'll be only breathing slightly very slightly and we we limit we delimit our breathing and we shut down our breathing to manage the world that's too difficult emotionally if you come tomorrow we'll get into some some other things about breathing and breath i was i wasn't i wasn't going to let it out of the bag yet yeah exactly so but the sigh yeah sigh is good yeah a lot of a lot of times i'll sigh my wife will say are you okay and i say i'm sighing isn't that a isn't that sign of being somewhat okay yeah but it's usually a lot of a lot of very high high emotions that are not that need processing need letting go people when they start breathing people when they yawn people when they stretch are coming back into their body coming back into their body we can we this this culture in the world's living out not in so-called undeveloped countries but in the developed countries everybody's outside of their body i mean i mean there's a new thing which is virtual these things to make umrah virtual umrah what excuse me something's wrong in that picture yeah um so you've talked about healing i was wondering if you could talk a little bit about healing through forgiveness about forgiveness in the healing or what yeah healing through forgiveness well um how much time do we have okay let's find this well one of the things it's really important i think to recognize is that Allah is the healer right Allah is the one who is kind Allah is the one who is loving in other words it is a reality that we may or may not take partake in pieces and parts parts of that Allah is all go for is the absolute in terms of forgiveness and he dispenses that and allows it as he chooses our ability to forgive it's not ours our ability to be forgiven is not ours it's Allah's so that's an important piece that we must recognize we can pray Allah give me that ability to forgive but i tell people forgive the people that you did wrong you know ask forgiveness of people that did wrong to you if we knew the value of that and if we knew the value of forgiveness we would be forgiving of everybody but if you've been wronged it's very natural to be angry and to not allow that and not be able to accept the principle that if i forgive it's condoning it's not condoning it doesn't have to be so there's that tricky kind of contradiction that takes place you all with me on this one right and there's a period of time when being angry is useful and valuable there's a valuable point in most cases as people are coming out of being wrong terribly feeling wrong terribly there's a point at which forgiving and but it's not just forgiving because you're a spiritual person you know mashallah but but there are some people if i mean i've seen i've seen people forgive the most egregious things killing of their children i know more than one you know people person who forgave people who murdered their children and it was real and the one man said you know he was he he was at a convention a gathering in which they were making peace between the bloods and the crypts in la and he was a muslim he'd work with gangs and he was living in atlanta and they invited him to come back because he'd been working with his gangs and he went back but with his his intention was to kill these people to kill his son and the thing he got caught up in the what was happening and he got up on the stage and he said he said i want to be honest here he said i came and i wanted revenge on the people that killed my son but he said right now in front of all you i'm going to forgive them for what they did and he said what came to him was peace like he'd never experienced he said from that by saying that he walked outside it was just drizzling rain a little bit he said he'd never believed it was possible to feel such peace in his being but the reality is when people do wrong i mean to be honest i've been dealing with trauma for years and years and years and i've been being being with trauma in which there are people who have mistreated mostly it's been i mean i had some men but mostly women and i honestly in my in myself i've had this image of a it's a metal of wood hardwood club it's about this big like this and i had this image of taking this club to those people that did those things and i make no bones about it you know yeah you know what so so we you know there's a line we want to follow here and we want to honor and recognize our animal nature which is to get angry fight back and to be angry in appropriate ways but not to let it get out of hand and create worse than what happened in the first place i don't know what else like it's a a lot more that can be said about forgiveness so but the first thing i want is i want to underline is this thing it's a quality of a love a kind mother is the quality of a love that is coming through her to someone else and all of these things he is the actor in all of the world all the things whatever they might be he is the the one that acts yalla bring blessings to this group and bring the best of intentions and rewards for the intentions by what everyone came here and satisfy their hopes and efforts and a lot heal us all heal us all and give us the courage to see the ways in which we can bring our our people together and how we can give ourselves the courage to do what's needed to know and discriminate and see what it is that's needed and act upon those things and have the energy and the belief that you can support us in all this and protect protect us all protect our children and protect our children and protect our children and keep us on the path and and show us your mercy by making it even more beautiful and rewarding if you're wonderful then we could ever even imagine the job well thank everybody uh for coming in person and and online um inshallah we'll continue tomorrow 10 o'clock uh here and it'll be 10 pacific standard time for the people online um so just quick question did everybody get the link to sign up to do the subscription for youtube okay um if you didn't let us know and we can get you the information um so uh a couple other things so basically we're looking at unrolling or rolling out a few um you know as as hakim said we indicated some some videos um and some other information that are going to be coming up the other thing that we are working on and it should be available soon are interactive courses so it's something we talked about when we were in socal about unrolling classes um and these are online only courses but they're with hakim in person but also include recorded material and so we're just curious as to if there's an actual interest in that um so if there is you know let us know we're just you know we don't want to be pushing stuff out there on people that you know if like hey we don't want any of this that's fine but if you are you know we definitely want to hear from you let us know if there's an interest um and stuff like that so um you know let us know through however methods we got in touch with you or let us know in person all that stuff um so inshallah we'll meet back here for everybody that's coming for as hakim indicated adhikr um and it should be from around seven to nine thirty and for men it's it's preferable to wear a jalaba or a though or something um you know it's it's a tradition it also helps uh and um what else there'll be food thanks to merchie cafe um the leather always amazing when we come and and have dikr here so we're excited about that um but yeah we look forward to having everybody come bring people if you know again there's absolutely no cost but uh you know we'd love to see everybody here we'd love to have people here to join do some of the things that hakim indicated that are healing so let's get together let's do dikr together let's remember a lot together and uh you know inshallah it'll be something good um yeah so i think that's about it uh we have to again thank our wonderful host mcc i've worked with many many organizations doing you know programs like this and many over the years and years and mcc is always you know one of the best at everything so you know big big thanks to them and hakim please support them if you're local if you're online support them anyway you can and again we just want to extend our thanks to them so i look a lot for you for mental law inshallah so i know i'm not the only one to regret the things i've done i miss my mother i miss my friends oh yeah we planned that that's all i'll just push it out of the way i think i'll just stand this can we kind of converge a little bit in terms of space just because so the uh yeah that's fine no i mean just moving yeah it can move is that all right i don't think anybody's gonna bite i know not not that i know of maybe it's all right so the second day i guess it's inevitable people may show up in time where's me the ideal place for me to be is in the center here well salam aleikum so we have at some point in the beginning of the day here somebody wants to make shahada and they will arrive inshallah but in the meantime the others is a smaller group than we left with yesterday um there are several topics that i wanted to cover yesterday and didn't have time for and we have at least one new person that wasn't here yesterday a couple of a couple of people so um today is meant to be a more relaxed open discussion much more questions and interaction and discussion there are some things i want to do that are very specific uh exercises and kind of explorations for everybody to take away and that i'm hoping there'll be more people for that because i think it'll work better with more people with jobs so we'll wait and save that for a later day but to start with for those of you who were here yesterday questions and commentaries or topics that came up from yesterday that you would like to open up and discuss yeah okay this oh mic okay so yeah i mean last night was just out of this world so i was i felt the collective power love energy um i felt like weight lifted from my heart and i couldn't sleep i was just buzzing i felt the presence of you know the angels and uh everyone's sounds right yeah like if other people were lifting weight or healing it's like i just i felt the the collective relief i think so well that's what it's about yeah i mean it's about waking up and yeah i couldn't sleep and i i well and when you wake up presence was is the topic and i reiterate and come back to this question well what does that mean it means being there being here being present very simple i mean we all know what that means sometimes or nothing in the Quran it refers to the kafirun at some point as propped up blocks of wood that's the other extreme that's the opposite but now we live in a time in which people are basically asleep and in various ways a lot of the ways we're asleep is our bodies have shut down from my teacher beloved teacher dr lowan he said one of the basic things that he's overlooked that's so important is that breathing and feeling or sensation come together and every depressed person will only be breathing that much because the more we breathe the more we feel ah it's a very simple thing very few people sort of put those two together which is again what i'm trying to do is develop these hiccups these principles that are elemental and foundational to understanding so many other things we could we could look at depression i mean that's it's the result that doesn't mean if we're depressed or if a person is depressed it doesn't mean we just simply start breathing like the other that will wake us up that'll be more of a sensation it'll hyper oxidate the blood and all this stuff but we stop breathing and we become depressed because the depression is a survival strategy life is too hard it's too difficult so i'm going to shut down i'm going to eat that much alive or that much more or i'm going to avoid all the things that trouble me and i'm going to avoid and i'm going to do all kinds of things i can to avoid it addictions so many addictions are like that they're they're they're alternatives to being present emotionally for the most part especially with men how many men i mentioned yesterday how many men come to me we start to work the somatic work what do you notice in your body and they say oh nothing and i said well you're dead then you know and that's pretty much just a lot for us men we shut down and we learned to shut down unfortunately at a very early age that you know the young black man community is is noted for at about i think about when they're about eight years old they're kind of taken from being sensitive feeling human beings into these various arenas where you are not required to be human feeling with empathy you know what i'm talking about they're not feeling something it's the fun it's the product that's the end that's significant in their being but i mean we seek alternatives to distract us from things we can't face the elephant in the room so to speak ourselves you know we can't face ourselves men are hard to get more difficult it's much more difficult i mean women are courageous men are cowards for the most part i'm sorry to say that and i know a lot of men would disagree and yesterday i was saying how many men have their final healing through their woman how many men are already remarkable because of their mother or sisters even a lot of me when i said yesterday even a lot of we said the path to god for man is the woman so yeah i just want to clarify so are you would you say that addiction is a lack of presence well addiction this is i we talked a bit i was mentioning a few things which is some people say the opposite of addiction is connection we all have a basic fit for us human beings we come out with purity into this world we seek to love and be love back connection and connection that happens from the very beginning from the birth from every moment of that thousand and one nights that thousand and one days in which the brain is is formed and the beginning foundational memory is established in enormous number 40 000 neural synaptic memory connections per second for the first thousand days or thousand and one nights i use that as a reference so we we all want to love and be loved and we all as human beings as mammals we need the connection with others that's the biggest thing we've lost in the modern world we have no community it's like i like i said yesterday people used to say to me can you come talk to the youth in our community and say what community are you talking about the one that has you know maybe juma you have members that go to the joma maybe eat once a year and then you drive for a half an hour the automobile is a deep horrible curse anybody that can't see the reality in that anybody that can't see that can't cannot connect with some basic principle and elemental aspect of our human nature etc and empathy is going down across the board across the world every year and in whatever by whatever it means that could be measured but we for us we know we know it's going down knowing we never used to have this issue of bullying in schools or we never had this kind of aggressive automobile driving on the highways so-called freeways true i mean you all know what i'm saying i mean i i mean you you live in california if you're in southern california more so but the freeways it's like going into some sort of battleground and if we don't have a perspective and can't see that and feel it but what happens is all these things to feel they're so painful so what we do is we selectively shut down and one of this one of the shutdowns is life that i can find in all the aspects of life that i can find are so difficult so i'm going to alter my consciousness some people may consider a spiritual goal you know i'm going to be something different than what i am i'm going to alter this i remember back in the 60s people were getting high which is altered consciousness on anything anything they could find banana peels you know and i remember there was a thing that happened in which this guy bored a hole in his skull because when the the skull was open to the air there was this altered consciousness i guess he probably had a cork he'd put in there sometimes so the need to do something other than be present with each other in the world is a terrible demand and an unnatural demand because as human this is part of our Islam the community is a reality that we don't have anymore except in some places in the world implications that are huge therapy huge yesterday like we were saying there were no now there's over almost two thousand kinds of therapy there were not therapists a hundred years ago i remember i asked a group of therapists they said well why were there no therapists a hundred years ago and she said rightfully she said because we had aunts and uncles and friends and neighbors and community members and we learn who we are from others so what we did that practice as i said last night the practice we did was who is there who wasn't there who is there last night for the ones who weren't weren't there it was it was the hadras some who do you know the ones who weren't there do you know what how do you know what how it is it's a very intense yeah actually what we were missing was singers you know i'd like to get singers because there's most of these singers that would carry that whole that whole thing that whole practice the singers uplift the spirit and and and it informs the spirit in our our soul like she said this thing out of this world but it's our i mean that's one of our basic dilemmas we our soul is from out of this world and here it is geology room he said it's here in this cage of my body and it would be in this cage of our bodies until Allah frees it from the body so what i the thesis that i'm trying to say we have to meet the modern world and its intensity and its intensity isn't just like a hurricane which it is that sounds and the noises and that that terrible rushing madness of the freeway but it's insidious because it sneaks in under the arms of use of Allah bless him you know he had talked about like you know getting rid of your television years ago and so many people said we got rid of our television because of the thing opposite lectures and then it snuck its way back in through the computers same stuff insidious and i mentioned yesterday that these things that people watch you know that the episodic things you know like here's the first episode and it ends ah that's a thousand and one nights theme thousand and my story people know that story the thousand and one stories are told because each story ends kind of on the edge it was the precursor to all the tv episodes the seasons and episodes or the goal or any of the others and those episodes that we watched that it's like rabbit holes i think everybody knows these terms at this point but we don't realize that you know it's marcia mcluin's marcia mcluin's is people people some of you know him he was he had a book called the medium is the message the medium is the message is basically how are we getting our data i mean there was a man who i've been a science nerd since i was very young and i had subscriptions and i get magazines like scientific american most of my life is a scientific american or new scientist which are just simply for the most part there they were journals that would report the various studies that were happening in the world remarkable studies and uh one of the writers for scientific american for years was a man named martin gardener does anybody know who that is he wrote a book and in that book he did a study himself on the amount of data that is possible to access by television by educational television through documentaries and pbs and whatever it might be and he compared it with the amount of data that the person can have when they go out into a forest right this is this one of our ongoing discussions and there's no comparison and another person i can't remember who it was he compared educational quote unquote educational television to to a situation where the the burglar sneaks breaks into the house and gives the dog a piece of meat to keep him busy so they can loot the place the medium is the problem we know this about our computers don't we even if we were you know and you know blue glasses are empty anti blue glasses or whatever did anyone know this man now uh what's his name huberman forget his first name you know what's his first name andrew huberman he's an interesting guy because he's both a neurologist and he's very on spot and up to date he does his research and and he makes it a part of his business you know to report and have regular podcasts and all that but he's also an ophthalmologist so i mean it's this i mentioned it yesterday he's the one that said this beautiful thing and i i heard that i said well this guy i've got to listen to because he said our eyes and i've known this for decades the eyes one of the most remarkable things that we have as human beings and one of the things i wanted to do here was find a room that was dark and do a camera obscura so we could all recognize how white rays it's not just rays that come in it's the world comes in through the eye and our eye processes he said the eyes are like parts of our brain pushing out through the holes in our skull and why was i saying it why do they even bring that up the medium is thank you and so television i mean i think did i share with you yesterday that the young girl in Bahrain and in dubai with the cell phone i have to remember what stories i could tell my stories my son knows most of my stories he said yeah yeah i know that one and my wife too like i started feeling like an old one of these old people that see and you know this thing and constantly retelling these stories god forbid i'll protect us and uh but i was asked one of my students in in dubai homeopathic student mostly she said i was doing a workshop in dubai and she said could you come for dinner yes i'll come to dinner at your house and she said well and can you talk to my daughter about because she's being bullied because she doesn't have a cell phone in our friends too and i said okay and uh i said what i'll come to dinner but i don't what can i say to a 14 year old who can't have a cell phone and said and she said no please and said okay okay so we sat down and the three of us sat there and i said so you your mom tells me that you're getting bullied because you don't have a cell phone like everybody else and she's and she rolls her eyes i didn't talk about this yesterday because then she rolls her eyes and i mentioned yesterday i'm going to repeat it for the people who are weren't here and that's the teenage bs meter you know instead of a needle is the eyes go like that and she said i said well why is that and so what did i what did i say yeah i asked her do you know why and she said yeah so you jumped ahead yeah she's uh and she said because my mom loves me and i said well if she loves me why she would not and then she got braces that devices get blind and the fact that we have such a thing as virtual umrah where we can put on some goggles and some contraption as if we're doing umrah you can go up to the black stone and things but this is not a little we laugh because we know how we're not just absurd it is but how it's crazy i think i mentioned this guy wanted me to endorse his business uh that had this pill that would keep you from being hungry and Ramadan have i mentioned that yeah he came to me said if you could endorse my project i'd be really happy because i'd really sell good sales if you endorse it and it was a pill that you take so you're not hungry and Ramadanic excuse me what's wrong yeah what i'm not getting so it's a difficult time it's a difficult time and and you know we make a lot of the doing yesterday it was about our children and you know so many people share with me that fear for their children and i mentioned yesterday that it's a very difficult job but we must be on the task of debriefing them that is enabling them to manage the insanity and the perversions they will encounter and the distortions they can't make sense that they can't make sense of because it's not meant to be made sense of you know it's it's too unnatural and we can do it and we can do it and the primary way let me ask you if we're going to debrief our children appropriately and thoroughly and well so they're managing the insanity that is probably going to get worse a lot of ellipses and a lot of hands but what's going to be the most important i'm asking you now what's going to be the most important thing to make that possible make that effective it's not going to be explaining it's not going to be left brain explanations or political commentary or psychological theses it's going to be being and if it takes being there and just simply to be able to say i'm here i know it's difficult always be here for you if you believe that but if it's not true they'll know it especially the 13 year olds especially the 13 year old girls who have an incredible extraordinary high degree of spiritual potential at that point in time but from every age when i was in australia they set up a workshop for me on a natural habitat present preserve so everything in there everything was left wild and they called it the art of living and so the first day i went around and there was about 35 40 people and i said well what is living what is this workshop about because i thought well i love the title it wasn't my title and so we went around one by one asking well what is life what does living mean and people said well something that grows something has a birth and various things come out and we got to this eight-year-old boy and he said death death is an essential part of living and everybody stopped it and the thing i'm pointing out here in terms of this thing of debriefing our children is every generation knows something that the previous generation it doesn't have a clue about you hear me i got some nods what do you think and our love designed it that way it's a beautiful thing when we recognize and this is a thing about all the real true hikmas i believe are things by recognizing them they give us a foundational basis to understand phenomena that we can get confused about complicate over complicate and and then get lost in the details with me the basic things of being alive of being a human being are very essential connection love to love and feel loved back and feel as if you belong i went to one of my somatic therapists at one point in time i grew up in southern california and i considered my my my brother-in-law who married my sister who is a beatnik poet does anybody even know what beatnik poet means anymore there was a period of time where a beatnik poet that you're you're what do you call it you're dating yourself let's try to think of the term the other there will inevitably be old beatnik poets there's still beatnik poets there exactly and and what's his name that had the bookstore further get a yeah who's used to have got a coffee and stuff with him laurence for in getting daniel more of the high more who's part of that and it was it was a wasteland talking about which lulu and greg that was the surfer there was a surfer and that man saved me from southern california the poet and i became a poet that where i love poetry at that time and i used to go to beatnik poet readings in malibu and you know anyway this need to belong i never felt i was a part of that culture for i was going to say i never felt i've like you know disney land being built was the biggest thing in the 60s when i was there you know i thought as an artist i got the thing we used to term mickey mouse to describe something that was really cheesy so i never really but i never felt it was belong to my family and what they were interested in there and the culture of the so-called culture in the culture in the town i grew up in the city i grew up manhattan beach there wasn't a black person that you know if their father was not even an asian there were some mexicans maybe they did gardening that was about a head and that was the school i went to and thank god some of the mexican americans redondo beach nearby became my friends and my protectors so but a therapist i went to the therapist i went to at one point was a somatic therapist who she had worked with in you it's a somatic work and at one point in the somatic work we we kind of got into it a bit yesterday it's it's paying attention what takes place in your body in different circumstances and that's it that's it exercise in being present quite simply the more you do that the more you will develop the ability to be present with the nuanced the vast nuance nuances of sensation in the body and back to this one of the hikmas is the number and the spectrum of sensations available to us by a lost design in the body are innumerable we can't number them because the number of sensations of this into this the number of sensations in our body are as great a number as everything in the entire of a question on that note um i know you were also and i just wanted to understand you know i think you were saying the amount of information or data you could pick up in the forest is yes this was a more than like on a computer or less than way way much more way much more right so i was martin gardener's but he had a lot of data from for scientific americans audience so yes i wanted to i wanted to ask about like i don't have the right word is like ilham or gush but like the idea of openings right as they come and it's some sort of like i guess realization and i don't know if that's a thought that comes but i was also curious what's the time of openings with bodily sensations or and and also our sensations some the second question like are also sensations something you can pay attention to at any point in time voluntarily and learn something from it or it's like an opening thing which would tell you to look into your body perfect good questions i have them on my outlines as something to talk about today so you're so here's part on we're so ilham a revelation or openings we have it all the time um and well not all the time you know but when we have one of my teachers in morocco said something i that i took into importance to which he said a genuine opening has fruit for therapists there's not therapists here except for one that i know of but everybody has it sort of do it yourself therapist oh sorry you didn't but and you're a good therapist because you work with the body exactly exactly and uh and so there's very often the people a person like last night what you were saying about last night you had this out of the world experience now the thing about it that is which is important is how does that blossoming of reality for you bear fruit you know i have a poem i've written poems for years but there's you know what happens with blossoms and fruit is if the if the chill or the freeze comes at the wrong time no fruit that's new mexico all the time we have apricot great the best apricots you'll find anywhere but like only every three or four years do we actually get in many places the apricots because the freeze comes stops it so the key with openings is to capitalize on them and i think a good therapist enables that person and encourages how they capitalize on it and if nothing else that would be and this is true for the for the do-it-yourself therapists with friends and people that have difficulties and they're going through it if you make one tiny step in a beautiful positive direction you affirm it you know you validate it and back to this other print a come up principle if we pay attention to something we intend to it we won't amplify it so capitalizing is okay you've had a hard time doing this and this and this but then suddenly you're able to do this how does that feel that you can do that blah blah blah you know and that these there's the usual therapeutic things or we can say there's usual things from the empathetic compassionate mom or auntie or neighbor that says well that's great i'm so glad to hear that you've come from that point to that point wow how does that feel well it's that like i'm so so happy blah blah blah and it has to be real it has to be real i remember many many years ago a therapist that was one of my clients and i said well what do you try to do in your therapy he said i try to help people get real you know and and i knew what he meant i mean if one of those things be hard to describe from a clinical point of view but we all know what that means some people are just not real now we i spoke a little bit yesterday about this natural thing that happens for us mammalian humans when a baby is very young we we don't no one has said we haven't read that in the book but our inclination in our impulse is to go up and oh hi there how are you kidding and talk with a certain voice and make certain gestures and movements with the expectation and hope that that child will respond and babies can respond within minutes of birth to something like opening the mouth from another that's the beginning of this it's not the very beginning because the really beginning happens in the womb with the sound of the mother's voice that's why we called it what we did the practice i think we call samah hearing hearing the voice of the other ones next to us singing will change our nervous system because every pore and every hair is a nerve that hears we hear with our whole body i don't know if you know uh evelyn glenny to people know this woman evelyn evelyn glenny uh there's a youtube worth watching it is this woman who was deaf at the age of 12 decided she wanted to become a musician she was knighted by the queen or whatever knighted lady she was lady by the queen because she's a deaf woman that teaches music but she teaches it with the shoes off or this young singer angeline adored anybody know that a remarkable prodigy in singing at the age of eight she was singing like a very adept operatic singer or jazz singer at the age of eight but she sings but she at when she first started singing she met someone who was homeless on the street the young girl and this girl had no shoes and so she gave her her shoes and the the homeless person blessed her for doing that and she decided she would never sing with shoes on but it also says something about that thing that we talked about yesterday grounding in her thing barefoot barefoot is a beautiful thing so revelations can come they can come and we can be in and then we can waste it that's the suffies talk about that you may have an evening of vicar and you're uplifted like that and then you go if you go clubbing then you've blown it not necessarily not necessarily but but the point is capitalizing on it protecting what comes in openings and paying attention to how we capitalize on these things the other thing was always the other part of that question relation it'll be one of the hikmas and I have in there is every thought revelation opening insight everything that happens in that way has a physical bodily component connected to it absolutely back to what I said the in the Quran Allah speaks about the creation of Adam the first human he placed the spirit in Adam and Adam became first of us same and we're the same the spirit and that out of time out of this world reality trapped in this body or contained in this body it can be trapped or it could be delightfully contained of course I remember now that the second part of the question was like can you so when should you be listening to your body like at any time or okay good that's a good question so when should we and this whole exercise of what do I notice in my body and paying attention to it it's something that we don't want it to be the kind of thing where we're having a conversation with someone and they say something remarkable and then we suddenly dissociate from them because we're in our body we want to do it as much as we can so that it's not something we're learning this new it's something we're remembering that we forgot that's the key it's recovering something it's already it was there in the first place by Allah and it was there as like I described my my my four-year-old dog granddaughter you know when she saw the the worm she jumped up she did that that's typical little kids I mean anybody who knows you go three or four-year-old kids they jump up and down we jump up and down when we're that age and when she was running around the room and I saw and I was studying this whole principle of how we breathe because we we breathe let me ask you this about to bring back to breathing what do we breathe with lungs we breathe into our lungs and what do we breathe into our lungs with you know these so you're cheating what do we enable space well that's where the where the the breath itself exists isn't it muscles the muscles of our body there's it there's a nervous system autonomic nervous system possibility for the breathing to happen when there's total exhale that will enable without thinking or without muscle the nerves will excite but that's not typically is we breathe so this is my granddaughter when I was looking my because my teacher taught we breathe into the lungs and then we have to the body we have to allow the body for that to go into our body and that's this wonderful meaning this extraordinary meaning between the heart and the lungs part of what we do when we do that here this rhythmic thing that you find in all these cultures is we're bringing together the harmony and the synchronization of our breathing a wave and the heart moment so they're in harmony and when they're out of harmony they're out of sync we don't feel well it's it's it's we don't feel okay you don't feel in harmony the rsa they call that it's this it's this harmony between the breathing so when she was running around the room and she lay down on the floor I looked at her who was studying this thing myself from my teacher and I looked at her I realized she was breathing and as she took a breath in she's been running so as she breathed in I could see her head was moving on the floor her chest was moving her arms even her feet were moving in and out slightly with her whole body was moving my teacher used to say we breathe into the body everything contracts and he said when we breathe out that breath enables a wave to pass through our body from its peak to its letting go and that wave moves through if our bodies are fluid supple enough supple and fluid is one of the greatest strengths we have in capabilities not muscular bulk and strength and you know I say don't look dead nothing do you stretching I hope that's okay okay you gotta agree with that one right suppleness equilibrium equilibrium covering something that we forgot we were alive all that thing that we talked about yesterday we were alive and as lif