Act four of The Old Bachelor by William Congreve. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Act four, scene one, scene the street, Belmore in fanatic habit, setter, Tis pretty near the hour, looking on his watch. Well, and how, setter, hey, does my hypocrisy fit me, hey? Does it sit easy on me? Oh, most religiously well, sir. I wonder why all our young fellows should glory in an opinion of atheism, when they may be so much more conveniently lewd under the coverlet of religion. Spud, sir, away quickly. His fumbled wife just turned the corner, and's come in this way. God, so there he is. He must not see me. Scene two, Fondle-wife Barnaby. I say I will tear it home. But, sir— Good luck. I profess the spirit of contradiction hath possessed the land. I say I will tear it home, Violet. I have to, sir, then farewell five hundred pound. Ah, how's that? Say, stay, did you leave word? Say you with his wife? With comfort herself? I did, and comfort will send tribulation hither as soon as ever he comes home. I could have brought young Mr. Prigg to have kept my mistress company in the meantime. But you say— How, how, say, Violet, I say let him not come near my doors. I say he is a wanton young Levite, that pamperth himself up with dainties, that he may look lovely in the eyes of women. Sincerely I am afraid he hath already defiled the tabernacle of our sister comfort, while her good husband is deluded by his godly appearance. I say that even lust doth sparkle in his eyes, and glow upon his cheeks, and that I would as soon trust my wife with a Lord's high-fed chaplain. Sir, the hour draws nigh, and nothing will be done here until you come. And nothing can be done here until I go. So that I'll tear it, do you see? And run the hazard to lose your affair, sir. Good lack, good lack, I profess it is a very sufficient vexation for a man to have a handsome wife. Never, sir, but when the man is an insufficient husband, it is then, indeed, like the vanity of taking a fine house, and yet be forced to let lodgings to help pay the rent. I profess a very apt comparison, Violet. Go and bid my cocky come out to me. I will give her some instructions. I will reason with her before I go. Seen three, fallen wife alone. And in the meantime I will reason with myself. Tell me, Isaac, why art thee jealous? Why art thee distrustful of the wife of thy bosom? Because she is young and vigorous, and I am old and impotent. Then why did thee marry, Isaac? Because she was beautiful and tempting, and because I was obstinate and doting, so that my inclination was, and is still, greater than my power. And will not that which tempted thee also tempt others? Who will tempt her, Isaac? I fear it much. But does not thy wife love thee, nay dot upon thee? Yes. Why then? I, but to say truth, she's fonder of me, than she has reason to be, and in the way of trade we still suspect the smoothest dealers of the deepest designs. And that she has some designs deeper than thou canst reach, thou has experimented, Isaac, but, ma'am. Seen for, fondle-wife, Atisha. I hope, my dearest Jewel, is not going to leave me. Are you nicking? Wife, have you thoroughly considered how detestable, how heinous, and how crying a sin the sin of adultery is? Have you weighed it, I say? For it is a very weighty sin, and, although it may lie heavy upon thee, yet thy husband must also bear his part, for thy iniquity will fall upon his head. Bless me! What means, my dear? Fondle-wife, aside. I profess, she has no lurid eye. I am doubtful whether I shall trust her, even with tribulation himself. Like I say, have you considered what it is to cuckold your husband? Letitia, aside. I am amazed. Sure, he has discovered nothing. Who has wronged me to my dearest? I hope my Jewel does not think that ever I had any such thing in my head, or ever will have. No, no, I tell you I shall have it in my head. Fondle-wife, aside. I know not what to think, but I am resolved to find the meaning of it. Unkind dear, was it for this you sent to call me? Isn't out of liction enough that you are to leave me, but you must study to increase it by unjust suspicions? Well, you know my fondness, and you love to tyrannize.  I am fervent over my poor heart while it holds, which cannot be long with this usage of yours. But that's what you want.  Yes, it will break to oblige you. Fondle-wife, aside. Apparently I fear I have carried the jest too far. Nay, look you now, if she does not weep.  Nay, cocky, cocky, nay, my dear cocky, don't cry. I was but in jest. I was not i-feck. Letitia, aside. Oh, then all is safe. I was terribly frightened. My affliction is always your jest, barbarous man. Oh, that I should love to this degree, yet... Nay, cocky. No, no, you are weary of me, that's it. That's all.  Well, be as cruel as you can to me. I'll pray for you, and when I am dead with grief may you have one that will love you as well as I have done. I shall be contented to lie at peace in my cold grave, since it will please you. Fondle-wife, aside. Oh, good lack, good lack. She would melt the heart of oak. I profess I can hold no longer. Nay, dear cocky, I-feck, you'll break my heart. I-feck you will. See, you have made me weep, made poor Nikken weep.  I'll lose all first. Letitia, aside. How? Heaven forbid, that we'll be carrying the jest too far indeed. Won't you kiss, Nikken? Go, naughty Nikken, you don't love me. Kiss, kiss, I-feck, I do. No, you don't. She kisses him. What, not love cocky? I profess I do love thee better than five hundred pound, and so thou shalt say, for I'll leave it to stay with thee. No, you shan't neglect your business for me. No, indeed you shan't, Nikken. If you don't go, I'll think you've been delice of me still.  Then I will go, I won't be jealous. Poor cocky kiss, Nikken. Kiss, Nikken, he-he-he. Here will be the good man Anon to talk to cocky and teach her how a wife ought to behave herself. Letitia, aside. I hope to have one that will show me how a husband ought to behave himself. I shall be glad to learn to please my jewel. Kiss. That's my good, dear. Come kiss, Nikken, once more, and then get you in. So, get you in, get you in. Bye-bye. Bye, Nikken. Bye, cocky. Bye, Nikken. Bye, cocky. Bye-bye. Scene five. Fane love, sharper. How? Ereminta lost? To confirm what I have said. Read this. Gives a letter. Sharper. Reads. Hum-hum. And what then appeared a fault upon reflection seems only in effect of a too powerful passion. I'm afraid I give it too great a proof of my own at this time. I am in disorder for what I have written, but something I know not what forced me. I only beg a favorable censure of this and your Ereminta. Lost. Pray heaven, thou hast not lost thy wits. Here, here, she's thine own, man, sign, and sealed, too.  She has been breeding love to thee all this while, and just now she's delivered of it. It is an untimely fruit, and she is miscarried of her love. Never leave this damned ill-nature whimsy, Frank. Thou hast a sickly, peevish appetite, only chew love and cannot digest it. Yes, when I feed myself, but I hate to be crammed.  My sport is always bogged or cut short. I stumble over the game I would pursue. It is dull and unnatural to have a hair unful in the hound's mouth, and would distaste the keenest hunter. I would have overtaken not have met my game. However, I hope you don't mean to forsake it. That will be but a kind of mongrel-curse trick. Well, are you for them all? No. She will be there this evening. Yes, I will go to, and she shall see her era in— In her choice, I gad. But thou canst not be so great a brute as to slay her. I should disappoint her if I did not. By her management I should think she expects it. All naturally fly what does pursue, taste fit men should be coy when women woo. Scene 6 A Rum in Fondlewife's House A servant introducing Belmore in fanatic habit, with a patch upon one eye, and a book in his hand. Here's a chair, sir, if you please to repose yourself. My mistress is coming, sir. Securing my disguise, I have outfaced suspicion and even dared discovery. This cloak my sanctity and trusty scarring's novel's my prayer-book. Me thinks I am the very picture of Montefar in the Hippocrates. Oh, she comes. Scene 7 Belmore, Letitia Soul breaks aurora through the veil of night, thus fly the clouds divided by her light, and every eye receives a newborn sight. Throwing off his cloak, patch, etc. Thirsted with blushes light, heaven defend me, who's this? Discovering him, starts. Your lover, Letitia, aside. Vein loves friend. I know his face, and he has betrayed me to him. You are surprised. Did you not expect a lover, madam? Those eyes shone kindly on my first appearance, though now they are orcast. I may well be surprised at your person and impudence. They are both new to me. You are not what your first appearance promised. The piety of your habit was welcome, but not the hypocrisy.  Who are you, sir? You have mistaken the house, sure. I have directions in my pocket which agree with everything, but your unkindness. Pulls out the letter. Letitia, aside. My letter. Vein loves friend. Tent is too late to disassemble. Displain, then, you have mistaken the person. Going. If we part so, I'm mistaken. Hold, hold, madam. I confess I have run into an error. I beg your pardon a thousand times. What an eternal blockhead am I? Can you forgive me the disorder I have put you into? And it is a mistake which anybody might have made. Letitia, aside. What can this mean? This impossible he should be mistaken after all this. Handsome fellow, if he had not surprised me. Me things, now I look on him again. I would not have him mistaken. Ah! We are all liable to mistake, sir. If you own it to be so, there needs no farther apology. Nay, faith, madam, it is a pleasant one and worth your hearing. Expecting a friend last night at his lodgings till it was late, my intimacy with him gave me the freedom of his bed. He not coming home all night, a letter was delivered to me by a servant in the morning. On the perusal I found the content so charming that I could think of nothing all day but putting him in practice, until just now, the first time I ever looked upon the superscription, I am the most surprised in the world to find it directed to Mr. Vainlove. God, madam, I ask you a million of pardons and will make you any satisfaction. Letitia, aside. I am discovered, and either Vainlove is not guilty, or he has handsomely excused him. You appear concerned, madam. I hope you are a gentleman, and since you are privy to a weak woman's failing, won't turn it to the prejudice of her reputation. You look as if you had more honour.  No, by heaven, I swear. Nay, don't swear if you'd have me believe you, but promise. Well I promise. A promise is so cold, give me leave to swear by those eyes, those killing eyes, by those healing lips. Oh, press the soft charm close to mine, and seal him up forever. Upon that condition. He kisses her. Eternity was in that moment. One more upon any condition. Letitia, aside. Nay, now, I never saw anything so agreeably impudent. Won't you censure me for this now, but this to buy you silence? Kiss. Oh, but what am I doing? Doing? No tongue can express it. Not thy own, nor anything but thy lips. I am faint with the excess of bliss. Oh, for love's sake, lead me any wither, where I may lie down. Quickly, for I'm afraid I shall have a fit. Oh, bless me, what fit. Oh, a convulsion, I feel the symptoms. Does it hold you long? I'm afraid to carry you into my chamber. Oh, no, let me lie down upon the bed. The fit will be soon over. Cynate. Cyn, St. James's Park. Araminta and Belinda meeting. Lord, my dear, I am glad I have met you. I have been at the exchange since, and I am so tired. Why, what's the matter? Oh, the most inhuman, barbarous hackney-coach, I am jolted to a jelly. Am I not horribly twos'd? Pulls out a pocket-glass. Your head's a little out of order. A little? Oh, frightful!  Oh, most rueful! Ha, ha, ha! Oh, Gad, I hope nobody will come this way till I have put myself a little in repair. Ah, my dear, I have seen such unhewn creature since. Ha, ha, ha! I can't for myself help thinking that I look just like one of them. Good dear Pinnis, and I'll tell you. Very well. So, thank you, my dear, but as I was telling Pish, this is the untaughtest lock. So, as I was telling, how do you like me now? Headiest, ha? Frightful still? Or how? No, no. You're very well as can be. And so, but where did I leave off, my dear? I was telling you.  Oh! A most comical sight, a country squire with the equipmage of a wife and two daughters came to Mrs Snipwell's shop while I was there, but oh, Gad! Who such unliked cubs? I wore it plump, cherry-cheeked country girls. I, on my conscience, fat as a barn door fowl, but so bedecked you would have taken them for Friesland hens, with their feathers growing the wrong way. Oh, such outlandish creatures, such tramontanet, and foreigners to the fashion or anything in practice. I had not patience to behold. I undertook the modelling of one of their fronts. The more modern structure. Bless me, cousin, why would you affront anybody so? They might be gentle women of a very good family. Of a very ancient one, I dare swear, by their dress. Affront! Psh! Oh! How you're mistaken!  The truth only is, I did endeavour to make her look like a Christian. And she was sensible of it, for she thanked me, and gave me two apples piping hot out of her under-patty-coat pocket. Ha! Ha! Until that did so stare and goop, I fancied her like the front of her father's hall, her two eyes with a jut window, and her mouth the great door, most hospitably kept open for the entertainment of travelling flies. So then, you have been diverted. How did they buy?  The daughters only tore two pairs of kids' leather gloves with trying them on. If God, here comes the fool that dined at my lady-free loves to the day. Scene nine. To them, Sir Joseph and Bluff. Maybe he may not know us again. We'll put our masks on to secure his ignorance. They put on their masks. Nay, Gad, I'll pick up. I'm resolved to make a night-hunt. I'll go to Alderman Fondle-wife by and by, and get fifty pieces more from him. Had Slydikin's bully will wallow in wine and women. Why, the same Madeira wine has made me as light as a grasshopper. Hiss! Hiss, bully! Does thou see those terrors? Look you what here is. Look you what here is. Tal-lal-dera-tal-lal. Agad, tell the glass of Madeira, and I dost have attacked him in my unproper person, without your help. Come on, then, knight. But do you know what to say to them? Say, poo-pox! I have enough to say. Never fear it. That is, if I can but think aren't. Truth is, I have but a treacherous memory. O frightful cousin, what shall we do, these things come towards us? No matter. I see vain love coming this way. And to confess my failing, I am willing to give him an opportunity of making his peace with me. And to rid me of these cox-combs, when I seem oppressed with him, will be a fair one. Ladies, by these hilts you are well met. We are afraid not. Bluff to Belinda. What says my pretty little knapsack-carrier?  What is your hideous name? Begone, you stink of brandy and tobacco. Most soldier-like foe. Pfft! So, Joseph, aside. Now I am slumpdash down in the mouth, and have not one word to say. Araminta, aside. I hope my fool has not confidence enough to be troublesome. Ham, pray, madam, which way is the wind? A piffy question. Have you sent your wits for a venture, sir, that you inquire? So, Joseph, aside. Nay, now I am in. I can prattle like a magpie. Scene ten. To them, sharper and vain love at some distance. Dear Araminta, I am tired. Tis but pulling off our masks and obliging vain love to know us. I'll be rid of my fool by fair means. Well, sir Joseph, you shall see my face, but be gone immediately. I see one that will be jealous to find me in discourse with you. Be discreet. No reply, but away. A mask. Sir Joseph, aside. The great fortune that dined at my lady-free loves. Sir Joseph, thou art a maid-man. Again, I'm in love up to the ears, but I'll be discreet and hushed. Nay, by the world, I'll see your face. You shall. Unmasks. Ladies, your humble servant. We were afraid you would not have given us leave to know you. We thought to have been private.  So, we're forced to draw in our own defence. Bluff. Tis a Joseph. My blood rises at that fellow. I can't stay where he is, and I must not draw in the park. I wish I durst stay to let her know my lodging. Scene 11. Araminta, Belinda, vain love, Sharpa. There is in true beauty, as in courage, somewhat which narrow souls cannot dare to admire, and see the owls are fled as at the break of day. Very courtly, I believe Mr. Vainlove has not rubbed his eyes since break of day neither. He looks as if he durst not approach. Nay, come, cousin, be friends with him. I swear he looks so very simply. Well, a lover in the state of separation from his mistress is like a body without a soul. Mr. Vainlove, shall I be bound for your good behaviour for the future? Vainlove, aside. Now must I pretend ignorance equal to hers of what she knows as well as I. Men are apt to offend Tis true, where they find most goodness to forgive. But, madam, I hope I shall prove for temper not to abuse mercy by committing new offences. Araminta, aside. So cold. I have broke the ice for you, Mr. Vainlove, and so I leave you. Come, Mr. Sharpa, you and I will take a turn and laugh at the vulgar, both great vulgar and small. Oh, Gad, I have a great passion for Cowley. Don't you admire him? Oh, madam, he was our English Horus. Ah, so fine, so extremely fine, so everything in the world that I like. Oh, Lord, walk this way. I see a couple. I'll give you their history. Scene 12 Araminta, Vainlove I find, madam, the formality of the law must be observed, though the penalty of it be dispensed with, and an offender must plead to his arraignment, though he has his pardon in his pocket. I am amazed. This insolence exceeds to other. Whoever has encouraged you to this assurance, presuming upon my easiness of temper, has much deceived you, and so you shall find. Vainlove, aside. Hey, Day, which way now? Here's fine, doubling. Base man, was it not enough to affront me with your saucy passion? You have given that passion a much kind epithet than saucy in another place. Another place? Some villain is designed to blast my honour. But thou hast all the treachery and malice of thy sex. Thou canst not lay a blemish on my fame. No, I have not erred in one favourable thought of mankind. How time might have deceived me in you, I know not. My opinion was but young, and your early baseness has prevented its growing to a wrong belief. Unworthy and ungrateful, be gone and never see me more. Did I dream, or do I dream? Shall I believe my eyes or ears? The vision is here still. Your passion, madam, will admit no farther reasoning. But here is a silent witness of your acquaintance. Takes out the letter and offers it. She snatches it and throws it away. There's poison in everything you touch. Blisters will follow. That tongue which denies what the hands have done. Still mystically senseless and impudent. I find I must leave this place. No, madam, I am gone. She knows her names to it, but she will be unwilling to expose to the censure of the first finder. Woman's obstinacy made me blind to what woman's curiosity now tempts me to see. Takes up the letter. Scene 13 Belinda Sharper Nay, we have spared nobody, I swear. Mr. Sharper, you're a pure man. Where did you get this excellent talent of railing? Faith, madam, the talent was born with me. I confess I have taken care to improve it to qualify me for the society of ladies. Nay, sure, railing is the best qualification in a woman's man. Scene 14 To them, footmen. The second best indeed, I think. How now, Pace, where's my cousin? She's not very well, madam, and is sent to know if your ladyship would have the coach come again for you. Oh, Lord, no, I'll go along with her. Come, Mr. Sharper. Scene 15 Scene, a chamber in Fondlewife's house. Letitia and Belmore, his cloak, hat, et cetera, lying loose about the chamber. Here's nobody, or no noise. It was nothing but your fears. I just have sworn I had heard my monstrous voice. I swear I was heartily frightened. Feel how my heart beats. Tis an alarm to love. Come in again and let us Fondlewife, without. Cocky, cocky, where are you, cocky? Um, come home. Oh, there he is. Make haste. Gather up your things. Cocky, cocky, open the door. Parks choke him when his horns were in his throat. My patch, my patch. Looking about and gathering up his things. Mitchell, are thou there? No matter for your patch. You sent them in, Nickin. Run into my chamber quickly, quickly. You sent them in. Nay, pretty dear, I think I am in haste. Then I'll let you in. Open the door. Scene sixteen. Letitia, Fondlewife, Sir Joseph. Kiss, dear. I met the master of the ship, by the way, and I must have my papers of accounts out of your cabinet. Letitia, aside. Oh, I'm undone. Pray, first let me have fifty pound, good oldamon, for I am in haste. A hundred has already been paid by your order. Fifty? I have the sum ready in gold in my closet. Scene seventeen. Letitia, Sir Joseph. Ah, God! It's a curious, fine, pretty rogue. I'll speak to her. Pray, madam, what news do you hear? Sir, I seldom stir abroad. Walks about in disorder. I wonder at that, madam, for it is most curious, fine weather. Me things test been very ill, weather. As you say, madam, it is pretty bad weather and has been so great while. Scene eighteen. To them, Fondlewife. Here are fifty pieces in this purse, Sir Joseph. If you will tarry a moment till I fetch my papers, I'll wait upon you downstairs. Letitia, aside. Ruined past redemption. What shall I do? Ha! This fool may be of use. As Fondlewife is going into the chamber, she runs to Sir Joseph, almost pushes him down and cries out. Stand off, rude ruffian. Help me, my dear. Oh, bless me. Why will you leave me alone with such a settle? Oh, blesses. What's the matter? What's the matter? Your beck was no sooner turned, but like a lion he came open-mouthed upon me and would have ravaged a kiss for me by main force. Oh, Lord, how terrible! Ha! Ha! Ha! Is your wife mad, old woman?  Won't you take him out of my sight? Oh, traitor! I'm astonished, old bloody-minded traitor. Hey, dear, traitor yourself! By the Lord Harry, I was in most danger of being ravished if you go to that. Oh, how the blasphemous wretch swears!  Offspring a bell and the dragon! Bless us, ravish my wife, my diner! Oh, shechemite! Be gone, I say! Why, the devil's in the people, I think. Scene 19 Letitia, fondle-wife. Oh, won't you follow and see him out of doors, my dear?  Give me the key of your cabinet, cocky. Ravish my wife before my face? I warned he's a papist in his heart, at least, if not a Frenchman. Letitia aside. What can I do now?  Poor Mr. Spintext has a sad fit of the colleague, and is forced to lie down upon our bed. You'll disturb him. I can tread softly. How lack poor man! No, no. You don't know the papers. I won't disturb him. Give me the key. She gives him the key, goes to the chamber-door, and speaks aloud. There's nobody but Mr. Fondle-wife, Mr. Spintext. Lie still on your stomach. Lying on your stomach will ease you of the colleague. Aye, aye, lie still. Lie still. Don't let me disturb you. Scene twenty. Letitia alone. Sure, when he does not see his face, he won't discover him. Oh, dear fortune, help me but this once, and I'll never run into that debt again. But this opportunity is the devil. Scene twenty-one. Fondle-wife returns with papers. Good luck. Good luck, I profess, the poor man is in great torment. He lies as flat. Dear, you should heat a trencher or an apkin. Where's Deborah? Let her clap some warm thing to his stomach, or shave it with a warm hand, rather than fail. What books this? Seize the book that Belmore forgot. Mr. Spintext, spray a book, dear. Aside. Pray, heaven, it be a prayer-book. Good man, I warn't he dropped it on purpose, that you might take it up and read some of the pious ejaculations. Taking up the book. Oh, bless me, oh, monstrous. A prayer-book? Aye, this is the devil's pattern-oster. Hold, let me see, the innocent adultery. Letitia, aside. Miss Fortune, now hold siruined again. Belmore, peeping. Damned chance! If I had gone a-horring with the practice of piety in my pocket, I had never been discovered. Adultery and innocent? Oh, lord. Here's doctrine. Aye, here's discipline. Dear husband, I'm amazed. Sure, it is a good book, and only tends to the speculation of sin. Speculation? No, no, something went farther than speculation when I was not to be let in. Where is this apocryphal elder? I'll fair him. Letitia, aside. I'm so distracted, I can't think of a lie. Scene twenty-two. Letitia and Fondlewife hailing out Belmore. Come out here, thou ananias incarnate. Oh, how now? Who have we here? Oh, thou salacious woman. Am I then brutified? Aye, I feel it here. I sprout, I bud, I blossom, I am ripe-horn mad. But who in the devil's name are you? Mercy on me for swearing, but— Oh, goodness keep us. Who are you? What are you? Saw. In the name of the— Oh, good my dear, don't come near it. I'm afraid this the devil. Indeed, it has hoofs, dear. Indeed I have horns, dear. The devil? No. I'm afraid this is the flesh, thou harlot. Dear, with a pox. Come, siren, speak, confess. Who is this reverend brawny pastor? Indeed, and indeed now, my dear Neakin, I never saw this wicked man before. Oh, it is a man, then, it seems. Rather, sure it is a wolf in the clothing of a sheep. Thou art a devil in his proper clothing. Woman's flesh. What, you know nothing of him but his fleece here? You don't love Button. You Magdalene unconverted. Belmore, aside. Well, now I know my cue. That is, very honorably to excuse her, and very impudently accuse myself. Why, then, I wish I may never enter into the heaven of your embraces again, my dear, if ever I saw his face before. Oh, Lord, oh, strange, I am in admiration of your impudence. Look at him a little better. He is more modest, I warned you, then, to deny it. Come, were you two never face to face before? Speak. Since all artifice is vain, and I think myself obliged to speak the truth and justice to your wife. No. Ha! My dear! Nay, I find you are both in a story, that I must confess. But what, not to be cured of the colic? Don't you know your patient, Mrs. Quack?  Lying upon your stomach will cure you of the colic. Ah! Answer me, Jezebel. Ha! Let the wicked man answer for himself. Does he think I have nothing to do but excuse him? Is enough if I can clear my own innocence to my own dear? By my trough, and so it is, I have been a little too backward. That's the truth on it. Come, sir, who are you in the first place? And what are you? A whormaster. Very concise. Oh, beastly, impudent creature. Well, sir, and what came you hither for? To lie with your wife. Good again. A very civil person this, and I believe speaks truth. Oh, insupportable impudence. Well, sir, pray be covered. And you have, eh? You have finished the matter, eh? And I am, as I should be, a sort of civil prerequisite to a whormaster called a cuckold, eh? Is it not so? Come, I'm inclined to believe every word you say. Why, Faith, I must confess, so I designed you. But you were a little unlucky in coming so soon, and hindered the making of your own fortune. Ah, hum, nay, if you miss the matter once and go back of your word, you are not the person I took you for. Come, come, go on boldly.  Confess, confess. I shall love thee better, Fort. I shall, I feck. What does think I don't know how to behave myself in the employment of a cuckold, and have been three years apprentice to matrimony? Come, come, plain dealing is a jewel. Well, since I see thou art a good honest fellow, I'll confess the whole matter to thee. Oh, I am a very honest fellow.  Letitia, aside. Oh, how my heart aches. All my comfort lies in his impudence, and heaven be praised he has a considerable portion. In short, then, I was informed of the opportunity of your absence by my spy. For faith, honest Isaac, I have a long time designed thee this favour. I knew spin-text was to come by your direction. But I laid a trap for him and procured his habit, in which I passed upon your servants and was conducted hither. I pretended a fit of the colic to excuse my lying down upon your bed, hoping that when she heard of it her good nature would bring her to administer remedies for my distemper. You know what might have followed. But like an uncivil person you knocked at the door before your wife has come to me. This is apocryphal. I may choose whether I will believe it or no. That you may, Faith, and I hope you won't believe a word on it. But I can't help telling the truth for my life. How? Would not you have me believe you, say you? No. For then you must have consequence part with your wife, and there will be some hopes of having her upon the public. Then the encouragement of a separate maintenance. No, no. For that matter, when she and I part she'll carry her separate maintenance about her. How cruel, dear! How can you be so barbarous? You'll break my heart if you talk of parting. Cries. Ha! Dissembling vermin! How can't thou be so cruel, Isaac? Thou hast the heart of a mountain-tiger. By the faith of a sincere sinner she's innocent for me.  She goes and hangs upon his neck and kisses him. Belmore kisses her hand behind Fondlewife's back. So a few soft words and a kiss and the good man melts. See how kind nature works and boils over in him. Indeed, my dear, I was but just come downstairs when you knocked at the door, and the maid told me Mr. Spintex was ill of the colleague upon our bed. And won't you speak to me cruel-nicking?  Ah, no, no, I cannot speak. My heart's so full. I have been a tender husband, a tender yoke-fellow. You know I have. But thou hast been a faithless Delilah and the Philistines. Eh? Eh? Are thou not vile and unclean? Eh? Speak. Weeping. Ha-ha, that I could believe thee. My heart with break. Seeming to faint. Eh, how? No, stay. Stay, I will believe thee. I will. Pray bend her forward, sir. Where is my dear? Here. Here I do believe thee. I won't believe my eyes. For my part I am so charmed with the love of your turtle to you I'll go and solicit matrimony with all my might and main. Well, well, sir, as long as I believe it, it is well enough. No thanks to you, sir, for her virtue. But I'll show you the way out of my house, if you please. Come, my dear. Nay, I will believe thee. I do, I feck. See the great blessing of an easy faith. Opinion cannot air. No husband by his wife can be deceived. She still is virtuous, if she's so believed. End of Act 4, Act 5 of The Old Bachelor by William Congreve. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Act 5, Scene 1, Scene The Street. Belmore Infantic Habit, Setter Hartwell Lucy. Setter, well encountered. Joy of your return, sir. Have you made a good voyage, or have you brought your own lady back? No, I have brought nothing but ballast back, made a delicious voyage, Setter, and might have rode at anchor in the port till this time, but the enemy surprised us. I would un-rig. I'll attend you, sir. Ha! Is it not that Hartwell at Sylvia's door? Be gone quickly, I'll follow you. I would not be known. Pox take them, they stand just in my way. Scene 2, Belmore Hartwell Lucy. I'm impatient till it be done. That may be, without troubling yourself to go again for your brother's chaplain. Don't you see that stocking form of godliness? Oh, I, he's a fanatic. An executioner qualified to do your business. He has been lawfully ordained. I'll pay him well, if you'll break the matter to him. I warrant you.  Scene 3, Belmore Lucy. Sits the wind there. What a lucky rogue am I. Oh, what sport will be here if I can persuade this wench to secrecy? Sir, Reverend Sir. Madame. Discovers himself.  Even I? What dost think? Think that I should not believe my eyes and that you are not what you seem to be. True, but to convince thee who I am, thou knowest my old token. Kisses her. Nay, Mr. Belmauer. Oh, lard, I believe you are a parson in good earnest.  Well, your business with me, Lucy? I had none, but through mistake. Which mistake you must go through with, Lucy? Come, I know the intrigue between Hartwell and your mistress, and you mistook me for tribulation spin-text to Mariam, huh? Are not matters in this posture? Confess. Come, I'll be faithful. I will, I faith. What, defied in me, Lucy? Alas, a day!  You have made a gap in her reputation. And can you blame her if she make it up with a husband? Well, is it as I say? Well, it is, then. But you'll be secret? Oh, secret, I! And to be out of thy debt I'll trust thee with another secret. Your mistress must not marry Hartwell, Lucy. How? Oh, lord! Nay, don't be in passion, Lucy. I'll provide a fitter husband for her. Come, here's earnest of my good intentions for thee, too. Let this mollify. Give some money. Look, you. Hartwell is my friend. And though he be blind, I must not see him fall into the snare, and unwittingly marry a whore. Whore? I have you to know, my Mr. Scorns. Nay, nay. Look, you, Lucy, there are whores of his good quality. But to the purpose, if you will give me leave to acquaint you with it, do you carry on the mistake of me? I'll marry him. Nay, don't pause. If you do, I'll spoil all. I have some private reasons for what I do, which I'll tell you within. In the meantime, I promise, and rely upon me, to help your mistress to a husband. Nay, and thee, too, Lucy. Here's my hand, I will, with a fresh assurance. Give some moll money. Ah, the devil is not so cunning. You know my easy nature. Well, for once I'll venture to serve you.  That's as much to say the pox take me. Well, lead on. Scene four. Venlov, Sharpa, and Sutter. Just now, say you, gone in with Lucy? I saw him, sir, and stood at the corner where you found me, and overheard all they said. Mr. Belmore is to marry him. Ha, ha, it will be a pleasant cheat. I'll play cartwell when I see him. Prithee, Frank, let's tease him, make him fret till he foam at the mouth and disgorge his matrimonial oath with interest. Come, thou art musty. Sutter to Sharpa. Sir, a word with you. Whispers him. Sharpa swears she is foresworn the letter. I'm sure he tells me truth. But I'm not sure she told him truth. Yet she was unaffectedly concerned, he says, and often blushed with anger and surprise. And so I remember in the park that she had reason for her wrong hair. I begin to doubt. Sayest thou so? This afternoon, sir, about an hour before Mon Master received the letter. In my conscience, like enough. Aye, aye, no, sir. At least I'm sure I can fish it out of her. She's the very sleuther, ladies' secrets. It is but setting her mill ago in and I can drain her of them all. Here, Frank, your bloodhound has made out the fault. This letter, that so sticks in thy maw, is counterfeit. Only a trick of Sylvia in revenge contrived by Lucy. Ha! It has a colour. But how do you know it, Sarah? I do suspect as much. Because, why, sir, she was pumping me about how your worship's affairs stood towards Madame Araminta. As when you had seen her last, when you were to see her next, and where you were to be found at that time, and such like. And where did you tell her? In the piazza. There I received the letter. It must be so. And why did you not find me out to tell me this before was sought? Sir, I was pimping for Mr. Belmore. You were well employed. I think there is no objection to the excuse. Pocks of my saucy credulity. If I have lost her, I'd deserve it. But if confession and repentance be a force, I'll win her, or weary her into a forgiveness. Me thinks I long to see Belmore come forth. Scene 5 Sharper Belmore Setter Talk to the devil. See where he comes. Hugging himself in his prosperous mischief. No real fanatic can look better pleased after a successful sermon of sedition. Sharper! Fortify thy spleen such a jest. Speak when thou art ready. Now, were I ill-natured would I utterly disappoint thy mirth. Here thee tell thy mighty jest with as much gravity as a bishop hears venereal causes in the spiritual court. Not so much as wrinkle my face with one smile, but let thee look simply and laugh by thyself. Pshaw, no! I have better opinion of thy wit. God, I defy thee! Were it not loss of time you should make the experiment, but honest Setter here overheard you with Lucy and has told me all. Nay, then, I thank thee for not putting me out of countenance. But to tell you something you don't know. I got an opportunity after I had married him of discovering the cheat to Sylvia. She took it at first, as another woman would the like disappointment, but my promise to make her amends quickly with another husband somewhat pacified her. But how the devil do you think to acquit yourself of your promise? Will you marry her yourself? I have no such intentions at present. Prithee, wilt thou think a little for me? I am sure the ingenious Mr. Setter will assist. Oh, Lord, sir.  Scene six. Sharper, Setter, suggestive, and bluff. Ha! Sure fortune has sent this fool hither on purpose. Setter, stand close, seem not to observe him, and hark ye. Whispers. Fear him not. I am prepared for him now, and he shall find he might have safer roused the sleeping lion. Hush! Hush! Don't you see him? Show him to me. Where is he? Nay, don't speak so loud. I don't just as I did a little while ago.  Don't you remember the story in Esop's fables, bully? A gad, there are good morals to be picked out of Esop's fables. Let me tell you that, and reign out the fox, too.  Prithee, don't speak so loud.  I must revenge the affront done to my honour. I do, do, Captain, if you think it fitting. You may dispose of your own flesh as you think fitting. Do you see? But, by the Lord Harry, I'll leave you. Stealing away upon his tiptoes. Prodigus, what will you forsake your friend in extremity? You can't in honour refuse to carry him a challenge. Almost whispering, and treading softly after him. Prithee, what do you see in my face that looks as if I could carry a challenge? Honour is your province, Captain. Take it. All the world know me to be a knight, and a man of worship. I warrant you, sir. I'm instructed. Sharper, allowed. Impossible.  Her head runs with nothing else, nor she can talk with nothing else. I know she commanded him all the while we were in the park, but I thought it had been only to make vain love jealous. How's this? Good bully, hold your breath and let's hearken. Again, this must be high.   High, now it's out. Tis I, my own individual person. A wretch that has flown for shelter to the lowest shrub of mankind and seeks protection from a blasted coward. That's you, bully, back. Bluff friends upon Sir Joseph. Sharper, to set her. She has given vain love her promise to marry him before tomorrow morning. Has she not? She has, sir. And I'll have it in charge to attend her all this evening in order to conduct her to the place appointed. Well, I'll go and inform your master, and do you press her to make all the haste imaginable. Scene seven. Setter, Sir Joseph. Bluff. Were I a rogue now? What a noble prize could I dispose of?  Twelve thousand pounds and aura rigging. Besides what lies concealed under ashes. Ah, all this committed to my care. A vault temptation. Setter, show thyself a person of worth. Be true to thy trust, and be reputed honest. Reputed honest? Hmm, is that all? I, for to be honest, is nothing. The reputation of it is all. Reputation. What am such poor rogues as I to do with reputation? To suburb us. And for men of quality, they are above it. So that reputation is even as foolish a thing as honesty. And for my part, if I meet Sir Joseph with a purse of gold in his hand, I'll dispose of mine to the best advantage. Here it is for you, ifth, Mr Setter. No, I'll take your word. Chinking a purse. Sir Joseph and the captain too. Undone, undone. I'm undone, my master's undone, my lady's undone, and all the business is undone. No, no, never fear, man. The lady's business shall be done. What come, Mr Setter? I have overheard all. And to speak is but loss of time. And if there be occasion, let these worthy gentlemen intercede for me. Gives him gold. Oh, Lord Sir, what do you mean? Corrupt my honesty. They have indeed very persuading faces, but... Tis too little. There's more man there. Take all, now. Well, Sir Joseph, you have such a winning way with you.  Hey, Setter. Oh, yes, Sir? Oh, no, bully. What melancholy, because I'm in the lady's favour. No matter. I'll make your peace.  Shah. I have petitions to show from other guest toys than she. Look here. These were sent to me this morning. There. Read. Show's letters. That. That's a scrawl of quality. Here. Here's from a countess, too. Hum. No. Hold. That's from a knight's wife. She sent it to me by her husband. But here. Both these are from persons of great quality. They are either from persons of great quality or no quality at all.  While Sir Joseph reads, bluff whispers Setter. Captain, I would do anything to serve you. But this is so difficult. Not at all. Don't I know him? You'll remember the conditions. I'll give you it under my hand. In the meantime, here's Ernest. Give him money. Come, knight. I'm capitulating with Mr. Setter for you. An honest Setter, sirra. I'll give thee anything but a knight's lodging. C. Nate. Sharper tugging in heart well. Nay. Prithee, leave railing and come along with me. Maybe she may end to be within. It is but to yonned corner house. Weather, weather, which corner house? Why there, the two white posts. And who would you visit there, say you? Ones, how my heart aches. Shaw, the art so troublesome and inquisitive. May I tell you, it is a young creature that vain love debauched and has forsaken. Did you never hear Belmore chide him about Sylvia? Heart well aside.  My wife? Why, Thou art as musty as a new married man that had found his wife knowing the first night. Heart well aside. Hell and the devil. Does he know it? But hold. If he should not, I were a fool to discover it. I'll disemble and try him. Why, Tom, is that such an occasion of melancholy? Is it such an uncommon mischief? No faith, I believe not. Few women but have their year of probation before they are coistered in the narrow joys of wedlock. But Prithee, come along with me, or I'll go and have the lady to myself. Bye-bye, George. Going. Oh, torture, how he wracks and tears me.  No, that's insupportable. Oh, sharper! How now? Oh, I am married. Now hold, Spleen. Married? Certainly, irrecoverably married. Heaven forbid, man, how long? Oh, an age, what age? I have been married these two hours. My old bachelor married. That were a jest. To death. Do ye mock me? Ha, ye, if either you esteem my friendship, or your own safety, come not near that house, that corner-house, that hot brothel. Ask no questions. Mad by this light. Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure. Married in haste we may repent at leisure. Scene nine. Sharper. Sutter. Some, by experience, find these words misplaced. At leisure married, they repent in haste. As, I suppose, my master heart well. Hear again, my Mercury. Sublimate, if you please, sir. I think my achievements do deserve the epithet. Mercury was a pimp, too. But, though I blush to own it, at this time I must confess I am somewhat fallen from the dignity of my function, and do condescend to be scantlessly employed in the promotion of vulgar matrimony. As how, dear dexterous pimp? Why, do be brief. For I have weighty affairs dependent. Our stratagem succeeded as you intended. Bluff turns errant traitor, bribes me to make a private conveyance of the lady to him, and puts a shame settlement upon Sir Joseph. Oh rogue, well, but I hope. No, no, never fear me, sir. I privately informed the Knight of the Treasury, who has agreed seemingly to be cheated that the captain may be so in reality. Where's the bride? Shifting clothes for the purpose of friends' house of mine. His company come in. If you'll walk this way, sir, I'll tell you. Scene 10 Belmore, Belinda, Araminta and Veinlove Veinlove to Araminta Oh, twice frenzy, all. Cannot you forgive it. Men in madness have a title to your pity. Which they forfeit when they are restored to their senses. I am not presuming beyond a pardon. You, who could reproach me with one counterfeit, how insolent would a real pardon make you. But there's no need to forgive what is not worth my anger. Belinda, to Belmore. On my conscience I could find in my heart to marry thee purely to be rid of thee. At least thou art so troublesome a lover, as hopest thou to make a more than ordinary quiet husband. Say you so? Is that a maxim among ye? Yes, you fluttering men of the mode have made marriage a mere French dish. Belmore, aside. I hope there's no French sauce. You are so curious in the preparation that is your courtship. One would think you meant a noble entertainment. But when we come to feed, tis all froth and pour, but in show. They often only remains, which have been I know not how many times warmed for other company, that last served up cold to the wife. That were a miserable wretch indeed who could not afford one warm dish for the wife of his bosom. But you timorous virgins form a dreadful chimera of a husband as of a creature contrary to that soft, humble, plyant, easy thing, a lover. So guess at plagues and matrimony in opposition to the pleasures of courtship. Alas, courtship to marriage is but as the music in the playhouse until the curtain's drawn, but that once up then opens the scene of pleasure. Oh, fo—no! Rather courtship to marriage as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. Scene eleven. To them, sharper. Hist, Belmore, if you'll bring the ladies make haste to Sylvia's lodgings before Hartwell has fredded himself out of breath. Belmore, to Belinda. You have an opportunity now, madam, to revenge yourself upon Hartwell for affronting your squirrel. Oh, the filthy, rude beast! Tis a lasting quarrel. I think he has never been at our house since. But give yourselves the trouble to walk to that corner-house and I'll tell you, by the way, what may divert and surprise you. Scene twelve. Scene Sylvia's lodgings. Hartwell and Boy. Gone forth, say you, with her maid? There was a man, too, that fetched them out. Sutter, I think they called him. So that precious pimp, too! Damned, damned strumpet! Could she not contain herself on her wedding day? Not hold out till night? O cursed state! How wide we air when apprehensive of the load of life! We hope to find that help that nature meant in womankind to man that supplemental self-designed but proves a burning caustic when applied. And Adam, sure, could with more ease abide the bone when broken than when made a bride. Scene thirteen. Tis them, Belmore, Belinda, Vainlove, Araminta. Now, George, what rhyming! I thought the chimes of verse were passed when once the doleful marriage-nell was wrong. Shame and confusion! I am exposed! Vainlove and Araminta talk apart. Joy, joy, Mr. Bridegroom, I give you joy, sir. Tis not in thy nature to give me joy. A woman can as soon give immortality. O gad, men grow such clowns when they are married. That they are fit for no company but their wives. Nor for them neither in a little time. I swear at months end you shall hardly find a married man that will do a civil thing to his wife or say a civil thing to anybody else. How he looks already! Death! Have I made your laughing stock? For you, sir, I shall find a time. But take off your wasp there, or the clown may grow boisterous. I have a fly-flap. Your application for it, your wife has been blown upon. Well, that's home. Not fiends or furies could have added to my vexation. Or anything but another woman. You've wrapped my patience. Be gone, or by— Hold, hold. What the devil? Thou wilt not draw upon a woman? What's the matter? Bless me. What have you done to him? Only touched a gold beast until he winced. Belmore, get it over. You vexed him too much. Tis all serious to him. Nay, I swear, I began to pity him myself.  But let me be calm a little. How have I deserved this of you? Any of ye? Sir, have I impaired the honour of your house, promised your sister marriage, and hoard her? Wherein have I injured you?  Madam, have I had an opportunity with you, and walked it? Did you ever offer me the favour that I refused it, or— Oh, foe! What does the filthy fellow mean? Lord, let me be gone.  You were right enough served. This is a little scurrilous, though. Nate is a sore of your own scratching. Well, George? You are the principal cause of all my present ills. If Sylvia had not been your mistress, my wife might have been honest. And if Sylvia had not been your wife, my mistress might have been just—there, we are even. But have a good heart. I heard of your misfortune, and come to your relief. When executions over, you offer a reprieve. What would you give? Oh, anything, everything, a leg or two, or an arm. Today I would be divorced from my virility to be divorced from my wife. Scene fourteen. To them, sharper. Faith, that's a sure way. But here's one can sell you freedom better cheap. Vain love, I have been a kind of godfather to you yonder. I've promised and vowed some things in your name which I think you are bound to perform. No signing to a blank, friend? No, I'll deal fairly with you. It is a full and free discharge to Sir Joseph Whittle and Captain Bluff for all injuries whatsoever done unto you by them until the present date hereof. How say you? Agreed. Then let me beg these ladies to wear their masks a moment. Come in, gentlemen and ladies. What the devil's all this to me? Patience. Then the last. To them, Sir Joseph, Bluff, Sylvia, Lucy, Sutter. All injuries whatsoever, Mr. Sharper? Aye, aye, whatsoever. Captain, stick to that whatsoever. Tis done. These gentlemen are witnesses to the general release. Aye, aye, to this instant moment. I have passed an act of oblivion. Tis very generous, sir, since I need must my own. Oh, no, Captain. You need not own. Tis I must own. That you are overreached, too. Only a little art military used, only undermined, or so, as shall appear by my fair Aramenta, my wife's permission. Oh, the devil cheated at last. Lucy, the masks. Only a little art military trick, Captain. Only count a mind, or so. Mr. Vainlove, I suppose you know whom I have got now, but all's forgiven. I know whom you have not got. Pray, ladies, convince him. Aramenta and Belinda, unmask. Ah! Oh, Lord, my heart aches. Ah! Set a rogue of all sides. Mr. Joseph, you had better have pre-engaged this gentleman's pardon, for though Vainlove be so generous to forgive the loss of his mistress, I know not how Hartwell may take the loss of his wife. Sylvia, a mask. My wife? By this light is she. The very cockatrice. Oh, sharper. Let me embrace thee. But are thou sure she is really married to him? Really and lawfully married. I am witness. Belmore will unriddle you. Hartwell goes to Belmore. Pray, madam, who are you? For I find you and I are like to be better acquainted. The worst of me is that I am your wife. Come, sir Joseph, your fortune is not so bad as you fear. A fine lady, and a lady of very good quality. Thanks to my knighthood. She's a lady. That deserves a fool with a better title. Pray you, says my relation, or you shall hear on't. What? Are you a woman of quality too, spouse? And my relation. Pray let her be respected accordingly. Well, honest Lucy, fair thee well. I think you and I have been playfellows on and off any time this seven year. Hold your prating. I'm thinking what vocation I shall follow while my spouse is planting laurels in the wars. No more wars, spouse. No more wars. While I plant laurels for my head abroad, I may find the branches sprout at home. Belmore, I approve thy mirth and thank thee. And I cannot in gratitude, for I see which way thou art going. See thee fall into the same snare out of which thou hast delivered me. I thank thee, George, for thy good intention. But there is a fatality in marriage, for I find I'm resolute. Then good counsel will be thrown away upon you. For my part I have once escaped. And when I wed again, may she be ugly as an old bard. In nature as an old maid. Wanton as a young widow. And jealous as a barren wife. Agreed. Well, midst of these dreadful denunciations and notwithstanding the warning and example before me, I commit myself to lasting endurance. Prisoner, make much of your fetters. Giving her hand. Frank, will you keep us in countenance? May I presume to hope so great a blessing? We had better take the advantage of a little of our friend's experience first. Belmore, aside. O my conscience she dares not consent, for fear he should recant. Well, we should have your company to church in the morning. Maybe it may get you an appetite to see us fall to before you. Setter did not you tell me. There at the door. I'll call him in. Adults. Now set we forward on a journey for life. Come take your fellow travellers. Old George, I'm sorry to see thee still plod on alone. With gaudy plumes and jingling bells made proud. The youthful beast sets forth and nays aloud. A morning sun his tinseled harness gilds. And the first stage a downhill greensward yields. But all what rugged ways attend the noon of life. Our sun declines and with what anxious strife. What pain we tug that galling load, a wife. All courses the first heat with vigor run. But tears with weapons spur the race is won. Exiant omnis. End of act five. Epilogue, spoken by Mrs. Barry. As a rash girl who will all hazards run and be enjoyed, though sure to be undone, soon as her curiosity is over, would give the world she could her toy recover. So fares it with our poet. And I am sent to tell you he already does repent. Would you were all as forward to keep lent? Now the deed's done. The giddy thing has leisure to think of the sting that's in the tale of pleasure. Me things I hear him in consideration. What will the world say? Where's my reputation? Now that's at stake. No fool, tis out of fashion. If loss of that should follow want of wit. How many undone men were in the pit. Why, that's some comfort to an author's fears.  But hold, I am exceeding my commission. My business here was humbly to petition. But we're so used to rail on these occasions, I could not help one trial of your patience. For tis our way, you know, for fear of the worst, to be beforehand still and cry fool first. How say you, sparks? How do you stand affected? As where young base within is so dejected to would grieve your hearts to see him. Shall I call him? But then you cruel critics would so maul him. Yet maybe you'll encourage a beginner. But how? Just as the devil does a sinner. Women and wits are used even much at one. You gain your end and damm'em when you've done. The Old Bachelor by William Congreve


So the meeting is open 702. Like to look at the agenda. Additions to the agenda. Changes. We might not have an executive session, but I figure we'll discuss that when we get to that item. Okay, any public comments. Approve minutes of December 19. I have public comments. It just took me a minute to unmute. I can't see you. I'm sorry. I'm not sure who's Joe. There's you. Who else is talking? I'm sorry. He would. Oh, there's Jim. No comment. You have no comment. So do I have the floor? Yes, I'm sorry. I still don't see you. Are you visible? I don't even see your name. Like in a blank screen. So I spoke at the city council. Last night and I spoke to the very mayor. This has to do with. Your potential discussion around dissolution of the authority. Well, that's another. I'm sorry. We're not talking. About that now. Public comment. Cut me short. When I try to talk about it during the session, you said you're not going to let. Stephen, if you want public comment, it's about something not on the agenda. Okay. I want the meeting recorded. Justin, if you have administrative control, I'm asking you on the record to hit the record. We, it is being recorded by Orca. That's not maybe in compliance with law. I'm happy to answer, Donna. I don't, I don't have administrative control. And I defer to the chair. Chair said you're going to set up another link for zoom for an executive session. So you must have administrative control. No, I did not say we were going to set up anything with. No, I didn't. As far as the recording is Stephen. The board has made the decision that we have. Orca as our vendor. And we do not use recording for zoom. And I understand that, but that's not in compliance with law. The secretary state has said so. And you've been informed of that. Okay. And we disagree with it, Stephen. It's not a vendor yet. There's no contract between you and Orca. So you can't call them a vendor. That's your noted comment. Anything else? I think that you, the city council. Voting to put an item, ballot item on the. Town meeting warning in both very city and in Montpelier. You owe it to the voters to allow them to. Make their decision before you dissolve the authority. You set that ball in motion. So you do not have the authority to. Dissolve the corporation prior to hearing from the voters. Okay, Stephen. You're going to bring it up now and not later. Okay. We've heard you. Anything else? No. Okay. Going on to the minutes of December 19. Entertain a motion to accept the minutes. So moved. Jim, thank you. Second. Second. Mel. Yeah, or whoever wants it. All right. Any comments about the minutes of December 19? Yeah, or whoever wants it. All right. Any comments about the minutes. All in favor say aye. Aye. Any opposed. Okay. Minutes pass. Asking for approval to pay the Vermont League the first quarter of our liability insurance in 2023. I'm sorry, Stephen, you do not have the floor. You're not. Until the members identify themselves. Announce that this is compliance with open meeting law. All the members have to identify. Right, Stephen. Thank you very much. I still wish you would be more in line with. It would be very helpful to bring that up in a way that you're not interrupting something else. But you are right. I forgot that piece. So I'll introduce myself. Donovate Montpelier. Doug. Kim. You're not a muted Kim. I'm Cheney at large. Mel. Mel Chambel, Barry city. Justin. Justin Drexler. Jim. Ward, Barry city. Okay. And then you're right. Good reminder that when we speak, I introduce ourselves. So we are now going to go to the bills for the Vermont League. It's the first quarter payment for 2023. It's $354.50. We have some backfeed. Please mute yourself if you're not talking. I would entertain a motion that we pay the league. Kim, I have a question. Okay. This is the first quarterly payment. For what period of time is the first quarter of 2023? Okay. So. Another payment will be doing three months. Yes. First quarter. Okay. Thank you. I'll move payment. Okay. Kim made the motion. Any second. Mel Chambel second. Thank you, Mel. Any further discussion? All in favor say aye. Aye. Aye. Okay. Passes. Thank you. You all received a copy of the request from the cities. Asking for up to $36,000 for funds to. To fund a dispatch capacity planning. Work that's attached to that $2.5 million application at the Department of Public Safety. I should at this point is not application. It's a grant. I feel like. That's a great thing that would be essential to following up on us getting this capital grant. And that the state is asking the cities to expand their dispatch centers. And I think it's needed that the city does the assessment of what's there and what it would need if it takes on these additional dispatching. So I think it's really important and it definitely will feed into the capital grant for the dispatch equipment. So I would support up to $26,000. What does the board want to do? Now. Well, because I, we need to have some money left to pay whatever. Yeah, I can go with less than 36. 26 was the original. Ask, wasn't it? Something like that. Yeah. I think 26. Jim and then Kim. The original ask was, was 26. I believe you just said what, what's the basis of the 36. Well, somewhere. No, they actually talked to. What, what they looked at what was needed as far as a need assessment and operations as to the impact of taking on this additional dispatch work in both cities. And they got an estimate, I believe from Tel Aviv. But now, if Joe is here, he can probably say more about that. Go ahead, sir. Interim chief Joe Altworth. Very city fire department. Yes, that is correct. We did receive a. Estimate of $36,000, I believe the city managers left it flexible and that's why they worded it to the fact of up to 36. But again, it's an estimate. They may need more money. Yes, Jim, more to what you had to say. Is there any indication of how far the 26 would bring them? I don't want to fund something that's a partial funding. Is there any proposal that 26 would cover? The base proposal right now is what they estimated that would cover. 36. Yeah, to do the base assessment of what's there, what would be needed in space equipment personnel. If they brought in these additional towns at the state, ask them to look at. And that would leave what balance in our. A little over 6,000. A little over 6,000, 6,000, 240. So it doesn't wipe us all completely. I'm going to move that we approve it. Okay, a second. I'll second it. Further discussion. Oh, Justin, go ahead. It's going to say one thing, which is that I find it distasteful. That Barry and Montpelier feel entitled to the money from CV PSA. They feel like, because they've just because they funded it, that they can just ask for it back at any time. Mr. Frazier implied that at the city council meeting a few weeks ago, that it was quote unquote, they are money, which it most certainly is not. That said, I think it's a really important thing to spend the money on. But I also think it's important to acknowledge that it's on. The process could have been smoother. And done in a way that I think was more appropriate. That's it. Yes. I believe you're next. Yeah. I think what we should do is put the 36 on the ballot on a large meeting. And if it's approved, they'll get the money. If it's approved, they won't. And. If. I don't know what's going to happen, but. They. The whole dissolution issue is still up for. A vote in the March meeting. If. We in fact. Pass a resolution tonight. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And wasn't there some. Sorry. Wasn't there some sense of urgency to the request? Because I agree with you. But I do. I do know that they had, they had said that there was a good deal of urgency to it. Otherwise I would be a whole heartedly in support of that plan. Yeah. Because the idea is as of July one, then more, they'll be the second round of grants. And so this needs to be done in order for that to proceed. This whole issue of the grants is in the legislature. And. I can't see the legislature. Authorizing DPS to make any grants. Until they have responded to the. Working group request. And until. The public safety department, which has supposedly hired two people to help them. Figure all this out. Have made a report. And that report isn't due till the end. This year. So there. There can't be any urgency about it. Well, I understand Kim, you have a different opinion, but there are people who disagree with that, including what the commissioner herself has said. Well, but that's not what's. I understand this that you disagree with that. It's not a question of disagreement. Well, it is. It's in front of the legislature. And. DPS has no authority to move. Until the legislature approves agreements. That's law. And it isn't up to the commissioner to change it. And I can't. Imagine that they would. Do that. When the report that they've commissioned. Isn't due till the end of the year. And the public safety commissioner. Is hired two people to help put that. Plan together. So I just don't see the urgency. And. I think we should. Put it on the budget. If we go out of business. We can talk about. We, we won't know that till March either. Okay. So if you want to introduce us putting something on the ballot. Let's sort of separate that. As far as that, that final decision. Let's come back. I'm speaking against the motion because. Okay. That's fine. I guess what I'm really saying is. Yes. I would move to amend the motion. To put the request on the ballot. Okay. Is there a second to Kim's amendment to put. A request on the ballot. For the money that they're asking. I see no second motion fails for a second. So we have a motion on the floor to allocate $26,000. And we're going to move to the second motion. The motion that they'll be planning. Consultant work. I want to comment on a street worker. Okay. Well, first Jim's got his hand up. Yes, Jim. I was of the impression that I was moving. 36,000. I'm sorry. 26 is what we recommend. We don't have $36,000. $6,000 balance after this. It 26,000 was the assumption what I was talking about. I thought you were moving the discussion of the 26,000. The city's asked for up to 36. Right. Well, my question was, if we made the award that they're asking for, what would be left in our treasury? You don't have enough to do the 36,000. We have like $32,000. So we spent 26,000. We have six left. We have $6,000 left. When we paid the Vermont League and we, if we were to allocate this 26,000, that leaves us 6,200 and change. So would I be good to have all the men to restate my motion from 26,000? Justin, did you hear that? I didn't understand it. Jim said he will amend or restate his motion to $26,000, I believe. Okay. That's what I wrote down. I'm sorry. Donna, who seconded that motion first? Nell did. And I think she thought it was 26,000 too. So as long as we're all clear. Can you tell us? That your motion is the 26,000 for the dispatch capacity planning to go to, okay. Yes, Kim. What are the anticipated expenses of the authority coming up? I know there's potential litigation and there was some. Give us 6,000 for litigation. There's nothing else outstanding. Our web, everything else except for whatever the next quarter would be in 2023 if the dissolution doesn't happen. I thought VCIL, I don't mean VCIL. I mean the league. League. Suggested you hire an attorney to help with understanding the whole process. I saw that you had requested something from the bar association. No, I didn't make a request to the bar association. No, sir. Well, you made a request for names of attorneys. Not me. I did not. But somebody else could have submitted it at the regional planning commission. I mean a four center. No, I didn't. I talked to several lawyers today which is totally separate from this and 6,000 in the balance would help with any legal fees coming up. Yes. But I did not submit a request to the bar association, sir. I saw an email. I feel like she is my phone tapped. No, I didn't. You sent an email to the bar association. Nope. I'll dig it out. But that's what I saw. No, I talked to several law offices but I did not contact the bar association. So it was an interposition. We need no legal advice. I didn't say that, Kim. I said we'd have $6,000 to deal with legal advice and other expenses. Well, there's a potential lawsuit. I'll leave that aside, but there was a separate item I thought to guide us through the dissolution and how the withdrawals would happen. Nope, not that I've done. Nope, I don't know about Justin. Justin, you've done anything query? Nope, sorry. Let's go back to the motion on the floor, please. The motion on the floor. And I'm just going to do a voice vote since there's already stated disagreement. I'm still waiting to speak, Donna. That's right. But you know, you don't have to get the right to speak at every turn, but go ahead, Steven. Well, the last two litigations I've been in, I've won my costs and the costs are $16,000 and 10 or $12,000. So I believe that you need to, well more than $6,000 even to do litigation, much less potential, my prevailing, substantially prevailing, you having to pay my fees to my costs too, because I will end up with lawyer fees that could well accrue to you. Unless you're offering to guarantee them personally and exonerate the authority and pay all judgements. You make your statements, please. I've made it. Don't get into personal stuff. Just make your statements. You did it. Anything else you want to say? I have something I'd like to add to this. All right, Kim? Candidly, I haven't paid any attention to the merits of this lawsuit. I just read them tonight before the meeting. But what I, if the whole board is liable, I mean, I think the whole board is sued. And so we all have potential liability. And I think we should reserve some funds beyond $6,000. I don't know any, having done this myself for over 50 years, $6,000 isn't gonna cover a defense. I'm telling you that. Well, this is dripping into some things we're gonna talk about later, but the league is actually of somewhat a difference of opinions as to whether or not this particular lawsuit has any numerable money attached to it or not, whether or not it's covered by our liability insurance. I have no opinion on that. I just think there's potential liability. Okay. All right. So the motion before us is to allocate $26,000 for the dispatch capacity planning. I'm gonna do a voice vote. I'm just gonna start top of my screen, a Doug. Yes or no? Yes. Mel? Yes. Kim? No. Jim? Yes, and I hope we're judgment proof by doing it. Justin? Yes. Okay. And that gives us four. So motion passes. The next item is talking about approval of the Central Vermont Public Safety Authority disillusion plan. Justin did the base work on that. I only changed some numbers as he became aware of some other expenses. Have you all had a chance to look at that? I think it would behoove us in that the league itself is having its own sort of internal dialogue about whether or not we can do the disillusionment before the lawsuit. So it indeed that the lawyer that I found to supplement the league works for Primer and Piper, Eddie Edelton, Egerton Egerton and Cramer is not available this week, but he can talk to us next week. And so I would like for us to at least look at the language, approve the content, but yet not go ahead and approve the plan until a later meeting. We can call a special meeting or we can wait till February. But I would like to get the input before we do that. So the question is whether the lawsuit impends when the disillusion. Disillusion was started before the lawsuit, so it's not trying to dissolve, to avoid it. It's just it was already in motion. I'm sorry, but you got me. I'm sorry, I want Justin, Justin, maybe you can explain it better or... What do you want me to explain? The difference whether or not you feel we can move ahead on the disillusion plan before the lawsuit. I don't want to give any legal advice, but I think it's just best practice as a general matter, probably not to move forward with the disillusion plan until the lawsuit is resolved in one way or another, or we have some level of clarity, but it's very, very much not legal advice. Okay, thank you, but that wording helped me too. I just think it's more responsible, but I would like everybody to at least feel comfortable when Justin spent time on here and made it really, I thought, hit all the spots. And because some money hadn't yet cleared, when we wrote this, we included the reimbursement of some old things that haven't gone through the bank yet. So when the final resolution is done to do this, then we will update all the money that's now in the disillusion form. So there's no, if there's, yes, Kim. You just mentioned the lawyer at Premier Piper that apparently you've consulted. Do you have a fee agreement with that lawyer? No fee agreement, no. I'm going to be asking the board to be able to go and contract with them to do it, at least get an hour, two hours of work of what we face within the lawsuit and what's the first step. So we have a response by the due date of February 3rd. Is counsel only for the lawsuit? Is that the sole reason you're contacting counsel? That's the only interest I have. That's what I'm bringing before the board, is that indeed has to do with the lawsuit, which is the next item. I was going to ask the board for authorization to engage at least like maybe up to a certain amount so that we can engage and sit down and have some initial conversation about the lawsuit with the lawyer. It's familiar with municipal law. This goes back to my, I'm sorry, the other motion, but how do we know what we have left if we don't know what our expenses are? I understand you voiced that before and the board obviously is not as concerned as you are. They voted to allocate that one. You just denied there was another lawyer and all she did. So right now, Kim, we're talking about the dissolution plan. And so I'm just gonna leave that to be discussed either at, it looks like a special meeting so we can meet before the February 3rd deadline of the lawsuit response, but then I feel we need to talk to a lawyer before we do that. Yes, Doug. I'd like to make it clear to Kim that Kim, you're under the impression that Donna or someone else within the board is already engaged in attorney. That has not happened. Donna has not engaged in attorney. The board has not engaged in attorney. All we've done is talk to the league, look for someone that can talk to us about this suit. That's all that's happened. How many lawyers don't deal with this kind of issue at all? So I did. The $6,000 estimate come from. Kim, I'm recognizing you. It's my understanding that the dissolution statutes and provisions and so forth are generally focused on dissolving of assets and redistribution of assets and sending assets to the appropriate people so that they don't end up in inappropriate pockets, which oftentimes happens on nonprofits and so forth and so on. I think that Mr. Whitaker may have done us a favor in that because we really don't have any assets, I would propose that we just suspend operations. We all resign. We do not defend the lawsuit and just let them have at it because they can go ahead and compel us to meet and we don't have to meet. We resigned, it becomes a non-entity. Now that may be the irresponsible way to do it, but there really is no consequences of us just not functioning anymore. And there's a benefit to it in that two or three years down the road, depending upon the outcome of this lawsuit, particularly if it says we still have to exist, two or three years down the road, we have a shell already in place to create whatever entity that we might be putting together for a combined dispatch and so forth. So I've advocated all along that we just park the corporation or park the entity, suspend operations and just let it lie dormant. There's dormant corporations all over the world that just sit there. So that's where I would go with it because I don't think that there's any real consequences of us just ignoring the lawsuit and that's all going on and doing something more productive on Thursday nights. And has a point. What did he say, Justin? Well, I said the man has a point. Well, if indeed you could do that and then I would, then we still have one thing about the dissolution plan, it tells us what to do with any cash. That's the only thing we have is cash. And so we would still have another $6,240 to apply somewhere, to direct, to be spent somewhere. Justin.  So... I think came at his hand up, Donna, not me. Oh, okay, Kim, something new? I was gonna let somebody else speak since you already spoke on this issue. Well, I think the motion is the form Justin prepared acceptable to the board. And that's a separate question. If that's the motion... There's no motion. There's no motion. Oh. Kim brought up an idea that he brought up before and that is just to what he called park the entity, everybody resign and we walk away. Wait a minute, were we ever discussing whether the draft is acceptable without approving it is just a draft. We never voted to do it. We voted to... What's on the table? There is no motion on the table, sir. There was a discussion to not approve the dissolution plan tonight because there are outstanding issues of the lawsuit. And in that discussion, Jim brought up that we should park the entity and just leave it be dormant. So is we just doing nothing till we can have another meeting? Some of these issues get cleared up. I have no idea what happens because everybody's term is gonna run out eventually. Well, not till March. Well, no, but if it goes dormant, I mean, he's talking about dormant until it's picked back up. I don't know the process for that at all. I haven't looked into it. Well, I'm confused about it myself. I don't have a problem with it. Everybody else talk for a minute. And maybe Justin will have some ideas for us. Justin? Seems to me the dissolution plan is going nowhere tonight. If anyone has any suggestions for me off list, you can send it to me. I do think it makes sense for us to engage the lawyer for a short meeting and float all possible ideas, including but not limited to Jim's interesting idea. You know, I don't think we need to make any decisions tonight because there are, I think there are potential side effects of a mass resignation. I don't know that. I just like my spidey sense that maybe that just doesn't work, but I'd like to talk to a lawyer who specializes in this stuff. Especially if we have the money for it, it's not gonna be a huge, it's gonna be a big cost for a couple of hours. Would you like to make a motion to authorize spending up to? $6,000. $1,000. $6,000, $6,000. I don't care, but put some limit on it so that then indeed I have authorized to engage a lawyer. The one that was recommended, I actually, since we're sort of jumping here, the one I talked to who responded was the Premier and Piper. And it was John Anderson, particularly. Many of us know John from his involvement in Montpellier's city council and other community efforts. And he's the one who referred a lawyer within his firm, Eli Emerson, who does have expertise within municipal matters. So I love a motion to authorize some money to engage Eli and to have you and Vice-Chair Doug Hoyt and I meet with him. I would move to authorize $6,000 for the purpose of seeking legal advice regarding the current lawsuit with the understanding that this is just that we're authorizing in meeting of board members with an attorney and no further action at this time. That's lawsuit and the disillusion or parking. And so it's more than just the lawsuit. I thought, Justin. Yeah, I mean, a discussion of the intersection between all of these things. I think that's the important part. Dressing options. Yeah, okay, okay. Mel. Just trying to understand or clarify the motion. When this, when you initially talked about it, Donna, it sounded like you said that the folks at the meeting would be you, Doug and Justin. And then when Justin just said it now, it would be the board members, which I believe is all of us. So just clarification. I mean, I was talking about a planning meeting to present it.  Yeah, okay. And so I didn't want to just be me. I thought the secretary, the officer is the secretary and the vice chair would be a good subcommittee to sit down with the lawyer and explain what we want and then have him produce to the board what we're asking. Does that make sense? Yeah. I see it in two steps. Justin, is that in line with what you were thinking? It doesn't really matter to me if one or all of us are there. I don't think it makes any difference. So the lawyer will in essence be around for two meetings. One planning, one with the board, or it would just- Yeah, and then presenting to the board the options. Yeah. And then where's the money for the trial? Okay, so there was this, Justin made the motion and who seconded? We get a second, Justin. I didn't write it down. I'll second that. Thank you, Jim. Any board members want to further discuss this? I like the motion to be restated. Sir, ready? So the motion is to approve the spending of, it really shouldn't be 6,000. Why don't we say of up to $2,000 for the purpose of seeking legal advice regarding Mr. Whitaker's lawsuit. The potential consequences of it for CVPSA and its intersection with CVPSA's dissolution. Okay. All right. I'll second that. I'll favor, say aye. Well, I'll second it. We started been second by Jim. Well, I just heard the motion. All right. Aye. Okay, all right. Good. It's unanimous. Great. Thank you, thank you. All right. So we've actually taken care of the lawsuit. Everyone got a copy sent to them? Okay. Question about that. Are we supposed to sign it? What are we supposed to do with it? No, not until we talk to the lawyer. That's part of getting into the lawyer quick. No, don't sign it. Don't do anything with it. Okay. Keep it. Not even wallpaper. No wallpaper. Don't burn it. No, no. You can sign it and send me your bank account number and I'll take care of it. Well, you'll be out of luck with that one. Yeah, yeah.  No, I think I find it intellectually interesting. And I should, I should probably prepare for the day that my good friend, my dear friend, Steven, suits me. So I should be at the meeting. Okay. So do you have, so anyway, I'll send some emails and you all can send me some time that works best. Good. Any other business before this body? All right. Thank you for all your attentiveness and I'll turn the meeting at 741. That's a miracle. All right. Thank you all. Thank you. Good night. Good night.


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How's it going everyone Caleb here with late in sports cards next tonight Christopher s is going with 10 of the national silver packs This is gonna be two lots of five for a total of 10. Good luck Christopher s Two four six eight ten packs. Here we go, man. Let's do it Christopher s Good luck to you. I appreciate the order. There's a Kenny picket Trayvon Burks orange to 199 Damian Lulert whoa Oh Two of ten Malik Willis Great card Wow gold vinyl That's sick. Congrats on that Malik Willis It's a beautiful hit Nice one there beautiful card Congrats on the hit there, man. He hasn't even played a game in the NFL yet KJ. You never know Messi and a Yanis red to 99 You never know it's gotten zero courage starts Trout orange Jaden ivy to 199 Indeed Robert indeed Nice looking here Kyler and a LeBron James blue to 50 Just trying to stay positive positive KJ We got Drake London Orange Devonte Adams to 199 Tatis jr. It's gonna be a blue Lamar Jackson blue to 50 B base Garrett Wilson to 199 Cooper cup and red Trevor Lawrence Awesome one there to 99 Last pack Joey Ligano Orange LeBron another LeBron to 199 and thanks again so much Christopher s will have all these well protected up and right out So yeah, appreciate the order. Hope you did enjoy it


First question is from Grant Satterthwaite. What are some of your favorite landmine attachment exercises? Oh, the landmine. That's a great piece of home gym equipment, isn't it? Yeah. So for the listeners who don't know, the landmine, you typically will anchor it on some weight plates, and then it's something you can put a barbell in, and then it moves in any direction. So one end of the barbell is anchored at the bottom, and the other part's kind of standing up. Two attachments too for squat racks now, which are pretty convenient where you can just put it at the bottom part of the squat rack. But I mean, there's some great exercise you can do, especially with rotational work. I mean, there's not a whole lot of options for rotational exercises in general, and I feel like this is one of those that provides a great option for that. But one of my favorites actually is when there's somebody with limited range of motion with their shoulder to get in a kneeling press, because you're pushing it almost on track where it's a bit in front of you, so you don't really need to be able to stabilize completely up over your head. So I mean, it's a good option to at least start building strength in the right direction, and that's something I like to do with it. Didn't you and Danny both do a whole series on our YouTube channel? I didn't, but... No, no, no. Justin and Danny. Yeah, I did. Yeah, some rotational exercises. And Danny did a whole series also. And we get stuff like this all the time. When you drop questions, one of the first things you should do is go, well, to two things. One, use the Mindput Media app where you can search a topic. So if you want to hear us talk about a topic, there's a good chance we've talked about it already. And then if you want to watch or see something related, especially when it's exercise related, there's a good chance that we've already done a video or multiple videos on it, on Mind Pump TV on YouTube channel. And I remember Danny did a whole series, and I thought you had done some also. And then Matt's performance has, man, I tell you, the reverse lunge to the presses. Oh yeah. Yeah. Those are brutal. I get messages about that all the time still. And that was one of my favorites just to get like a full body experience. You're going to get all of it there. Well, it's such a good, it's such a great movement though. I mean, that's what, it was one of the exercises that I really appreciated in performance after going through it, going like, man, those are challenging to perform them with really good form.  So the stability portion of that with the shoulder press, for sure one of my favorite moves in that program. I'll say this. If you have a home gym aside from barbell, dumbbells, adjustable bench, and a rack, the next most important piece of equipment you can get is a landmine. Number one, because it's very inexpensive. Number two, it takes up almost no space. And number three, the variety of exercises that you could do with a landmine are tremendous. You could use so many exercises. Now, one of my favorites besides the rotational, I like the rotational movements because you can't really do those any other way. Maybe cables allow you to do that, but with free weights, it's kind of tough. But I like good old-fashioned rowing exercises with a landmine. I love t-bar rows, one-arm rows. Single leg deadlift is awesome on that. Single leg deadlift or a rear delt row on a landmine. I mean, it's a phenomenal hypertrophy bodybuilding tool, but not just like an athletic tool. It's also great for just pure hypertrophy muscle building.  So it's just very high functional athletic type movements are great.


A plan to ramp up joint NATO patrols and naval military exercises will be outlined in an update of the EU's maritime strategy, which will be published on Friday, the newspaper said. Lithuanian politician Sinkavishis claimed that the bloc cannot exclude anything under the current circumstances. The Nord Stream pipelines connected Russia to Germany via the Baltic Sea. Last September, powerful explosions ruptured three of the four pipes, making it impossible to deliver natural gas through them. Initially, there was widespread speculation in the Western media that Moscow had supposedly blown up its own infrastructure to put pressure on the EU amid the conflict in Ukraine. After months of investigations, no evidence has reportedly been found to back up that theory. Europe begins to fight against Russian spy ships. European Union officials believe that the sabotage of the Nord Stream pipelines warrants increased naval patrols to defend assets against Russia. According to the Financial Times, European investigators have reportedly found no evidence linking Moscow to the incident, which rendered multi-billion-dollar projects inoperable. After what happened with Nord Stream, we need increased monitoring and protecting of critical maritime infrastructure in ships from physical and cyber threats, Virginia's Sinkavishis, the EU's Environment and Oceans Commissioner, told the British newspaper.