Hello and welcome to the STM32 L4 MOOC online training. My name is Andre Baratta and this is the dedicated session for the RTC peripheral. RTC stands for Real Time Clock and it provides an automatic wakeup to manage all power modes. The Real Time Clock is an independent BCD timer slash counter. The RTC provides a time of day clock calendar with programal alarm interrupts. RTC domain includes not only clock and calendar, but also wakeup timer which can be used as pre-odical event to wake up the MCU from low power modes and a set of registers in backup RAM area, 32 for 32-bit long registers. The content of those registers are preserved by RTC power supply domain, even if the power supply of the MCU is switched off. For instance, we would need a backup battery connect to the RTC power supply domain. As long as the supply voltage remains in the operation range, the RTC never stops, regardless of the device status, run mode, low power mode or under reset. For this hands-on we are interested on the tamper detection functionalities of the RTC. The purpose is to detect physical tampering in a secure application and to automatically erase sensitive data in case of intrusion. This feature is commonly used, for example, in metering applications such as gas or water metering. We will use an external GPIO to detect the tamper event, which invokes protection mechanisms both in run and low power modes. Tamper detection capable GPIOs are part of the RTC power supply domain, and detection of event is possible even in standby mode, which will be used on this hands-on. The application will be working in standby mode. Tamper detection related actions will erase backup memory registers content, and this way we will be able to detect any unauthorized attempt to break into the device. We will use discovery board LEDs as the bug output. Green LED means the backup RAM is okay. Red LED the backup RAM was erased slash tamper detection. For practical reasons we will use the middle button of the blue joystick as a tamper sensor. In real world application this would be replaced by a special anti-tamper switch. We will now open STM32Q by MIX to generate our project. As a first step we will click on new project, on the new open window we will type our part number STM32L476VG and double click on the desired part. We will use RTC peripheral and as it needs a clock source, please go to the RCC peripheral, select low speed clock external or LSE, and then select crystal ceramic resonator. We can see now that two pins are highlighted in green to connect the crystal resonator. Most common clock source for RTC is 32kW clock crystal oscillator and we are going to use it as well. On RTC peripheral check activate clock source, activate calendar. As our application will be working in standby mode and we need pre-autical wakeup event source. Last action to do with RTC peripheral configuration is the selection of a particular tamper pin. Please select tamper pin 2 as this pin PA0 is connected to the central key position of the joystick on our discovery board. To finalize we will configure the LEDs. Red LED is connected to the PB2 Please configure it as GPIO output and the same for the green LED which is connected to the pin PE8. Let's go now to the clock configuration tab. Let's select LSE clock source in RTC clock source multiplexer and set MCU clock to the maximum value 800 megahertz. We will let STM32QBMX handle all implied modification for us and move to the configuration tab. On the configuration tab let's configure the RTC peripheral. Let's assume that we need to wake up from standby mode every 5 seconds. To achieve this goal we need to set the wakeup counter to 4 as the counter starts from 0. Due to practical reasons please select one hertz clock for wakeup timer. We also have to activate RTC interrupts to enable MCU to wake up from standby mode and the same for tamper events. Both interrupts should be activated in the NVIC setting tab. Now we can save the project by giving project a name selecting the destination folder and choosing the IDE. In our case system workbench for STM32. Let's not generate the code. After the code is generated by STM32QBMX and our project is fully loaded on system workbench for STM32 we will open our main.c file stored inside the source folder. Let's now go to the private variables section and define a 30-bit long data pattern which will be written to our backup RAM or memory register. For instance we can select 0xA5F0A5F0 pattern. Then we will define a variable with the location of the first RTC backup register located on the RTC backup memory RAM. Now we can go to the user code section number 2 and the edit application functionality. In order to make this session more comprehensible additional comment lines were added to the code. We decide to use standby mode in our application. As you know after resume from standby mode the reset of the MCU is preformed. We need to differentiate between two source of reset event. First one is reset caused by the wakeup from standby mode and the second one is caused by power on reset. We will handle the two cases separately. Yet before we check which source caused the MCU to go on standby mode we need to differentiate the power on sequence from the successive auto wakeup cycles. Let's start by checking the standby flag with the macro hl underscore pwr underscore get underscore flag. So two scenarios are possible the one resuming from standby mode or the power up sequence. Power up sequence means the first time the application runs where we will preform the writing of the pattern to the backup memory RAM. Starting from the first case the standby flag is set. The first action we will preform is to clear the standby flag and for that we will use the macro hl underscore pwr underscore clear underscore flag. Then we need to differentiate what caused the microcontroller to resume the standby mode. We will read the backup register by using the hl underscore rtcex underscore backup read function and the parameters are the rtc handler and the location of the backup register that we intend to read. So the next step will be to check if the data in our backup register is still valid or if it was erased by the temperature detection related actions. If this value is not equal to our predefined data pattern we will toggle with the red led with 100 milliseconds period. Otherwise if the content matches our predefined value pattern we will toggle with the green led for one second. Second case means power on sequence and in this sequence we need to write our data pattern to the backup RAM register using hl extended functions. Since the implementation of the backup RAM vary from line to line hl rtcex backup write first parameter of the function is the rtc peripheral handler. Second parameter is a number of particular backup register. Please do not select register number zero because this register is already used by the hl rtc functions. Third parameter of the function is the data to be written on the register. After the pattern is written on our predefined backup register we will proceed to configure the rtc and its auto wakeup timer. We will start by disabling the auto wakeup timer with the function hl underscore rtcex underscore deactivate wakeup timer. The only parameter is the rtc peripheral handler. Then we will clear the wakeup flag with a macro hl underscore pwr underscore clear underscore flag. And as a last step we will configure the auto wakeup timer by using hl underscore rtcex underscore set wakeup timer underscore it. The parameters are the rtc peripheral handler the desired period we will set it to four as we want a five second period and we will choose the appropriate pre-scalar value. Now we have coded our application functionality and the last action is to enter the standby mode. To enter the standby mode we will use the function hl underscore pwr underscore enter standby mode. Now we can build our project. Flash the program in our microcontroller using the run option. Please do not start the debugger. Now we can take the discovery in our hands and we can see that the green led flashes every five seconds for a while. Then we can simulate a temper event by pressing the central position of the blue joystick and we can see that the red led starts to blink quickly. Now we can press the reset button on the discovery board and we can see that the red led is still blinking. The only way to return back to the initial state of the application is to unplug the usb cable meaning switching off the power supply. Waiting for several seconds to discharge all power supply decoupling capacitors and plug the usb cable again. This will be all for this hands-on session. Thank you for watching.


Thanks for checking out this no spoilers movie review video. This is for the 2005 film the devil's rejects by Rob Zombie and this review is per the request of subscriber actually Long-time subscriber. I can say Uncle Pete not my actual uncle. That's his name on YouTube. It's Uncle Pete So this one's for you Uncle Pete Um Let's get to it 2005 doubles rejects So I saw this film in the theater when it originally came out I remembered really liking it, but I haven't watched it since so about 14 years now have passed and I hadn't seen it So it's always interesting to go revisit films that you remember really liking especially when you were much younger Because things change and I feel like watching this again I still like it and I still like what like it a decent amount But I don't think I like it as much as I remember liking it when it was in the theater and maybe that's I Actually don't like it as much or I was just you know over time kind of working it up more in my mind I don't know but still I enjoy it. It's a good film. So let's get into it So immediately you're hit with the fact got my notes immediately You're hit with the fact that it feels a lot and looks a lot like Texas chainsaw Massacre you really feel like Rob zombie takes a lot of his aesthetic and a lot of his Cues for how to do horror from Toby Hooper obviously who did Texas chainsaw massacre. It's a very gritty scenery It's very dirty and he leeches a lot of color out of the film as well Which I think works for the story that he's doing and for the setting he uses It's an interesting setting for that reason and all those things are very much in common with Texas chainsaw So the whole time you're watching you're kind of like this feels like Texas chainsaw, but it does its own thing I will say the plot the storyline everything. It's not complicated. It's not anything new. It's just how is it executed? so The thing with Rob zombie in general as a director like I have a lot of respect for Rob zombie as a person because he's a Very creative person and his creativity spans many many things one of the big things being you know Obviously he was very well-known for his music with what white zombie and then he ended up getting into film So the fact that someone like that has so much creative output and is so motivated and does so much I find very very inspiring and I have a lot of respect for Rob zombie for that reason as a film maker. I Like some of his stuff. I dislike most of his stuff. I will say the devil's rejects is by far his best film I don't think anything else is really come all that close didn't really like House of a Thousand Corpses. I Stopped watching the first Halloween remake he did after like 20 minutes or so. It was so Aggregiously bad. I haven't heard anything good about that one or the second one from anyone I did see Lords of Salem, which I actually kind of liked. I didn't like love it or anything But I liked it. I found it decent. So that might be my second place film of his after The devil's rejects and with three from hell coming up, which is the third film in the trilogy of House of a Thousand Corpses devils rejects This is a good time for me to be doing this review and just revisiting that film so Hopefully three from hell is good I don't know a trailer came out and you really can't tell anything from the trailer because the trailers pretty much non-existent I know part of the reason for that is Rob zombie himself really hates the fact that trailers usually give so much of the story away And I'm with him on that. I think it's terrible that trailers give up so much Sometimes you see these trailers and you're just like I already saw the film I don't even need to see it because the trailer gave me everything. So that's why his trailer for three from hell is so minimal But at the same time it doesn't really show much. So you're kind of like What's gonna happen? Also the level of involvement that Sid Hague can have in three from hell I don't know what that can be because he's obviously aging and he's not been doing Great if you've seen him at conventions which I have in the past few years. He's not looking in the best of health.  That's just I guess But anyway, let me get back to the actual review got sidetracked. Although it is related. So So one of the things that kind of gets me in the beginning of this film is the fact that there are so many extreme close-ups in it I it can work at times But when you keep doing it keep doing it keep doing it it actually gets kind of annoying because you want to be able to focus on things when you're watching a film and Rob's on me just seemed to really love extreme close-ups and he went overboard with them especially in the beginning half of the film and that's one of the things in general with this is that I Feel like the beginning half of the film lacks focus. It's more of like he's playing around He just wanted to do crazy things with the script He just wanted to do crazy things with his directing and then it feels like once he you hit that halfway point There's he calms down a bunch He stops doing a lot of the more crazy Slash annoying things that he was doing in the first half in the film and he focuses He gets very focused calms down and from about the halfway point till the end It's a much different film in my opinion, and it's much better done. It's better put together. It's more compelling story Just that first half seems like all over the place. You're like, I don't even know what's going on It's like everything in the kitchen sink type deal So it's weird because this is kind of like two Two filmmakers made this in a sense like a very unrestrained wild filmmaker for the first half And then someone who like got it together and is focused and it's like I know how to make film boom boom boom This is how we do it for the second half So the second half is where my enjoyment really kicks in with the film the first half. I'm kind of like I don't know so that's just my feeling on it But it's better to have it that way than to have it the reverse where the end the end is like all messed up Because then people finish on a down note and used to be like, oh that sucked. So just saying that Let's state one of the obvious things. Sherry moon zombie is awful as an actress. She is terrible He Rob zombie puts her in every film because that's his wife. I think it's idiotic when directors Well filmmakers in general do that stuff Get the best person for the job And I think he did with a lot of the roles in this film and I think that There's some weak dialogue in this film There's some weak writing with the script But I think a lot of the times that's overcome by the actors because the actors seem to be having a really good time And they nailed their parts for the most part except Sherry moon zombie who like I said is a terrible actress So had that role been cast differently, I think this film could be even better than it is And I know there are a lot of people who say the same thing like Sherry moon zombie. She's terrible I know a lot of people who say she's a bad actress, but I like looking at her Well, I don't care about the looking at her thing because I want to see a good movie. So get her out of these films It's terrible. She she's not good. She doesn't have the chops You can make a much better film if you put someone in there who has the ability to do the role So just went nuts. So some of my favorite performances some of my favorite actors in this film and they do Wonderful jobs. Bill Mosley does a very nice job. Sid Hagg does one of the best jobs in this He is a joy to watch on screen Also Ken Foree Ken Foree's character is so well played by him You can tell he's just chewing it up He is loving it and William Forsythe is probably the strongest actor in this film I've seen William Forsythe in a few things and I kind of feel like this might be his best role He really brought a lot to it and he he's awesome on the screen So all those people I just named did a really good job and the supporting cast is fine, too They did decent jobs everyone but Sherry moon zombie did a good to great job and I feel like that's where This film if these certain actors were not in this film and it was lesser people This film really would have fallen apart in my opinion because like I said There's some weak writing in this and I feel like the actors overcome that with their great performances Just saying the soundtrack. This is one of the best things about this film The soundtrack is ridiculously good It matches up so well with the environment the scenery the shots the characters the overall story the soundtrack is Pretty much perfection in my opinion as far as far as this film goes I was thinking about it at and as the film was was wrapping up at the end with the credits going I was thinking in my opinion. This may be one of the best soundtracks for a film Not like soundtrack on its own like soundtrack with the film like whole experience Just saying great Rob zombie is a type of guy who writes over the top and you really see that in this film Especially in the first half of it where he's just like he's trying to throw everything out there He's like over the top over the top his premises are usually over the top the violence is over the top the sexuality is over the top and The way he writes dialogue is over the top which takes me to one of my other issues with him Is that he writes the dialogue for all the characters the same? He writes almost all the characters kind of very similar So he doesn't have a lot of range when it comes to ability to create different characters They all speak the same. They all say the same type of stuff. They're all hypersexual and very violent Everyone in this film is a terrible person pretty much and they all talk about sex constantly Which to me gets tiresome. I know there's some people out there who are like, well, I love it There's some really good parts where it fits but for the most part I think it's distracting and it's it detracts from the actual story and the film itself I view things like that as well as profanity like the over the overuse of profanity as crutches for writers I feel like a lot of the times you're putting in profanity and you're putting in like all this sexuality like over the top Because you don't know what else to do because you can't come up with something else or because you're lazy And you don't want to it is bad writing in my opinion when when it's done this way and It's just something that bothers me personally I can take a certain amount of profanity, especially if it fits the character But the fact that in this film every character uses profanity to the nth degree Just takes away from it and it makes me think it's lazy writing. It's like you don't know You can't write dialogue effectively So you do that and I actually think that in a lot of instances if you strip a lot of the profanity out of this film and Just condense that dialogue. I think people would Find it better like it would be more impactful What's being said because there really are some nice moments of of dialogue writing in it But then they get drowned out by profanity like before it and after it They it's like they get sandwiched and they it gets lost in a sense. So I just wish that He would you know Rain it in a little bit with the profanity just rain it in like better writing is not using it. It's totally a crotch It's totally a crotch Anyway And one of the things I was talking about the sexuality the over sexuality of this film also makes me kind of Roll my eyes like I'm good with it to a certain point But when you just feel like you have to keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it It's just like okay Can we do something else at this point and the fact that the over sexualization of women in it?  I want all the characters to matter I want them all to be worth something in the context of the story So when he has a lot of these characters in there that it's just like oh, they're gonna get naked They're gonna talk about sex and be sexy and it's it It just it gets old for me It gets old really really fast and with this film in particular unless the character is old or fat They're and they're female.  It's lazy writing in my opinion, which you find that a lot with Rob Zombie to be honest Do Shaky cam there's a lot of shaky cam used in this film I think a lot of the times it works because it gives kind of this The there's there's moments where it's like it's very intense. It's gritty things are confusing So it adds to that with the film but there are times where it just goes on a little too long or it's done a little too much and Then you're just kind of like I I'm losing track of some of the stuff that's going on here But also I'm starting to get a little nauseous You have to be careful with with the use of shaky cam Which is why I don't like a lot of found footage films because they tend to go over the top With a lot of that shaky cam work and it can make me nauseous the original cloverfield film made me very very Nauseous and I will never watch that movie again for that reason so the shaky cam get on that What's very interesting about this film to me is that everyone is terrible in it and it just Puts you in a weird situation as an audience member because you naturally Want to root for somebody and when you're looking when you're critically thinking and you're like well Like all these characters are not good like they're all terrible to different degrees But they're all terrible and who do I root for like you feel conflicted. So That's cool. Like that's actually a good thing I think in writing is make people feel conflicted make them feel weird about the situation they're in I like that. So it works Yeah, like I was saying like the movie starts and it seems to kind of like just me and or not really have a focus That halfway point and out. It's very focused things calm down It looks like a much different film and I like that portion of it The very end is really good. I really enjoy the very end, especially with the musical accompaniment But the one thing is this is another instance of too many super close-up shots being used that I Understand that that there are issues where directors will kind of like fall in love with a certain thing They like to do or like this is a fun shot to do I really like this and then they just go overboard with it restraint get some restraint Rob zombies not really known for it But get some restraint Anyway, um, I feel like that's all I have to say about the film. I did enjoy rewatching it I really did for the first half of it. I was like Yeah, I don't know And then the last half happened and I was like, ah, this is the good portion of it This is what I like about it So I can't go crazy on a good rating for this to be honest because it's it's half and half really So out of five stars with halves in play. I'm gonna give it a three and a half stars I do recommend it if nobody's ever seen it. You should definitely see it if you haven't seen it I think it's good. Like I said, it's definitely rob zombies best film I don't know if he'll ever get back there to be honest and I hope so for three from hell But I have this feeling that it's not going to be the case But let's keep our fingers crossed people. We'll we'll check it out Uh, uncle Pete, hopefully you enjoyed this review I know you said this is like your favorite film or one of your favorite films So I know that you would do probably like five star four and a half or four star or something like that So Sorry, I know part of this at least part of this review is probably a little bit of a letdown to you I'm sure you wanted me to really love this film and I love portions of it, but Overall, it's it's kind of a mixed bag. So but three and a half stars pretty good Anyway, thank you everyone for checking this out until next time. Keep it brutal


Beth yw'n gweld i chi'n gwneud i ddweudio cyffredinol o'r cyfaintio mewn gwahanol, ac yn dweud i'n digwydd am y cyfaintio'r ddechrau a'r ddweudio'r ddweudio'r ddweudio'n cyffredinol, ond mae'n ddweud i chi'n dweud i chi'n ddweudio'r ddweudio'r ddweudio. Cyn ddod yn y gyfaint mewn gwirio'r ddweudio'n gwneud i chi yn bwysig hefyd? Yn y gweithio'r ddweudio'n gweithio'n gweithio, fel bod yn ymwybodaeth yn swydd yn ymwybodaeth a'n fynd i'n bud yn y bael a rwy'n beth oedden nhw wedi'u drafod o myfalen chynnwys, nid bod rwy'n dgunio lwyd yna i gythyddwch yn gallu mwy. Rydyn nhw i'n myfalen yn y fath yna gyrdd i'r amfeydd yn gyfudd yn y bryd ac rwy'n myfalen ychydig ac rwy'n myfalen yn fy mwy ymwysน, rwy'n myfalen yn y fwysig rydyn nhw i fy hun yn fy hwn. Rydyn nhw dyma'r gilydd dyma'r ysgol. Felly gwneud am ychwanegwch yma, mae yw'r holl o'r ffyrdd, a fydd yn gofynio'r gwasanaeth. Mae ychwanegwch gyda ffyrdd o bobl ac mae'n gofynio'r gwasanaeth. Byddwn i'w gweithio, i gweithio'r holl yn fawr i'r holl. Mae i ddweud bod, mae'n gweithio'n cael ei ffyrdd, mae'n gweithio, mae'n gweithio'n gweithio, mae'n gweithio i'w ddweud, mae'n gweithio i gweithio i'w ddweud, Caerdyddon ni'n ddod o'r ddod i'n ddod i'r meddwl. Ac rydyn ni'n ddod i ddod. Ac fyddai!" Rydyn ni'n dod i'n meddwl yma'r ddiwrnod i chi fyddai'n meddwl i chi i gynnodydd yma. Ac rydyn ni'n ddod i'n meddwl ychydig. Rydyn ni'n ddod i'n meddwl. Rydyn ni'n ddiddordeb yn gwaith y gallu'r cyflawn cyfrifatig. Rydyn ni'n ddod i chi'n meddwl yma. Fel i chi'n meddwl yma, rydyn ni'n meddwl eu cyfrifatig. cwm yn ymddangos i'r llwyddo, yn blynedd o gyd-grifennu unid, gwybod yr ysgol yn rhoi, yn y prysyn. Ond, oes yw gyd-grifennu chi? Rhaid, yn gyd-grifennu. Rhaid. Rhaid. Rhaid i chi'n gyd yn siŵn. Rhaid. Rhaid i chi'n gwybod yma? Rhaid. Rhaid, mae'n ddweud o'r bwysig i'r bobl sydd arall, ond mae'n gwybod. Ond mae'n gilydd i'r bwysig i'r bwysig. Rhaid i chi'n gwybod, Shane. Y tŷch o'r hwn yn Brytyn ym mwyaf o'r prysnig. Fe wnaeth o'r bwysig o'r llwyddo, wrth gwrs ymlaen o'r ffordd. Fe wnaeth yn Amazon o Ebay ar y ddweud. A'r DVD. Gwyd yma'r Gwyddon. Mae'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud. Mae'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud? Raen wedi arnod arnynt Mae ymlaen hefyd mewn gwrs yn edrych. A mae'r ddweud wedi cymaint yn ag i. Mae yw heimdydd gan fy wneud Cymru mewn mis Valley Caffoddyru. Maen nhw'n ateb i'n gweld ei hun i gael ei wneud, i chi wedi'u ffiant mewn gwirionedd. Mae rhai, ar wg Llywodraeth, oherwydd mae'n rhoi'n rhoi'n rhoi'n rhoi... Mae'n rhoi'n rhoi'n rhoi ddiddor yw, felly mae wedi'u gweld eu chyrwar o waith. Mae'n rhoi'n rhoi i'n rhoi sy'n iawn. Mae'i gwirionedd gan yn lle gydyddwn i. Mae'n rhoi sydd o'r gwirionedd ac yn rhoi'n rhoi'n rhoi'n rhan i ei hyrdi. A'r rhan i gyhoedd ar y rhain. I'r fforddi yn dydd, rwy'n ent i'sweld ei bod ni'n bwysig. Efallai yn dda'r bwysig wrth yma, yn roi'r cyddiadau yn gyfan hyn sy'n fynd i'r bod yn y blaen i liel eu ganddofyn. Ar hyn ag yn dda, all y cefnod efo'r cyfeil, yr hynny mae'n cael ei fewnddol. Ond y gweithio'r glwst yn bwysig yr unrhyw. Yn rhaid i ddwy edrych, mae'n drefiau yn gyrsiau i'r lluwau.  Wrth gwrs dynghylch i'r hyn, maen nhw i gyd? Felly mae niech yn byw edrych yn umbryd mewn gwneud olygu. Rhywb i'r perth ti'n byw rhai oed. Ychydig i ddweud o'r ddweud. Ac rhaid o'r wych yn byw edrych yn umbryd. Felly mae'r cyrddwyng sydd wedi gwelio ffordd sy'n gwybod i ddim yn ar hunai i'w gwelio? Ond yna llawer? Yn ystod gyda'r gweithio'r gweld gwahanol, fel hynny'nbod yn ym 15, yn mynd i ddechrau'n gwahanol. Mae'n meddwl, yna'r ddweud am gwahanol eich roi, dwi'n gweld gwahanol i chi'n gwahanol i chi, a'r ddweud i chi eich gwahanol i chi'n gwahanol. Felly, felly, nid o'n ddweud â'r gwahanol o'r ddweud.  Byddwch ti di dddugwch. Mae cyfnodd yn fynd i. Mae gyda i'n mynd i ddelfwch, ddysgu yng Nghymru. Mae'n ddelfwch a fwy ddifwch, dwi'n ddelfwch, i ddiwch ar gwybod yn gwych, a rwy'n ddelfwch, dwi'n ddelfwch, a ddiwch ar gyfer y daydliad, ddim yn pob, dyna dwi'n golygu. Felly, rydyn ni'n dweud i'r ddwylltio'r ffawr o'r gangsta. Felly, mae'r gangsta'n ddim, mae'n ddweud i'r ffawr o'r ganddurau. Yn ymddangos, rydyn ni'n ddweud i'r ffawr o'r reputation. Felly mae'n gwybod yn ei ffawr o'r bwysig o'r bwysig o'r bwysig o'r bwysig. A'n dweud i'r holl ymddangos i'r llwyth, o'ch ffawr o'r holl. Rwy'n cael bod gyda'r gansr wedi gweld o'i wneud yn y tu-pak ar gyfer y ffordd. Mae'n rhan o'r wych, a'r wneud yn cael ei fod i chi'n cael eu dŵr. Na fyddwch chi'n gwybod i'r ddweud yn y tŷ. Rwy'n cael i'n gwybod. Fe wnaeth oedd y ddweud o'r ddych chi'n gwybod i chi'n gwynfyr i chi. Oni'n gwybod. Ond yna'n ei ddyliad. ac mae'n ddyn nhw'n dda i'w meddwl yn yr ysgrifianiad yma'n... Mae'r gwanigau, rydw i'w gwneud bod i'w ddod hwnnw i'w ddod, rydw i'w ddod hwnnw i'w ddod hwnnw i'w ddod, ac mae'n ddod hwnnw i wneud, a'r ddod i'w ddod... Rydw i'n meddwl i'w ddod o'r ffeil o'r gwyloedd ni i ddim yn ei ddod, ddim yn bwyd. A'n ddwy'n meddwl i'w ddod hwnnw i ddod. So, how was the first time you felt that people were scared of you? When did you get that feeling that, OK, this is what I want to do, is dole fear into people? It was after I stabbed the man in the head, so I was in Arlie Pwlin as a man with a big reputation. A lot of people fear him to this day. And in fact I think he's doing a life sentence now. And he's well known for running around, everyone's phasin, walks in picturesque Dale's houses, takes the jugs and don't say, Cyfr receiving them. Absolute psych, or he's been in and out of jail for stabbing people of all his life. In fact he's just getting out of prison because someone wouldn't serve him in the shop. So he walked out the shop, got the, know them big things, what you to the corn with, the grim reaper things. Went in one to them and put it through his head and got it seven or eight years, just because he wouldn't serve him. That's how nuts a i'w dud yn di wrth gyflwg arall a fyddwn ni wedi gynrych. Rwy'n dweud o'n gweld wrth gyflwg, ac mae'n gwybod modd arall, a'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddechrau yn y ddweud, yn ddiw i'r meddwl. Rwy'n meddwl o'r ddweud o'r ddweud, mae'r ddweud o'r hanor, mae'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud. Mae'n gwybodaeth yng nghymwys. Mae'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud, ac继io iawn i'r swydd ac tydynt, dyna'r gwislach arall, a llwytaid hynny i'r swydd ac yn ei wneud, oed 10 ydydd ni wedi gweld i'r cyfnodau. A er mwyn nhw i'r wneud, fynd i'n gwneud y ffordd mewn, ond nid yn gweithio'r cyflodd hynny yn bwysig yn ystyried, ond rwy'n rwy'n cael y byddai'u ymddangodd angen a'r gwasanaeth y rydyn ni'n d Symru, a thosewch mae hyn yn ei ddw i'ch cyflodd hynny i ddwy'n mynd i gyd. A wnaeth unigwg i chi, wedi fy gwybod i fynd i'w ddenprôl, ac fyddechrau i fynd i'n ai'i gweld i fynd i fynd i fynd i gynhyrchu, a'r wahanol sy'n gilydd arweinydd. Ond ein gwrthod hyn yw, rwy'n erbyn i'r unigwg i fynd. Rwy'n ryi'n ei gyrdd. Rwy'n rôl bryd pliwyd hynny a chwych, ac rwy'n rôl bryd hyn. Ond rwy'n iawn. Myl i fynd ar y cyfraddol. F喜fwyr sy'n bryd. Rwy'n rôl bryd gennym. pan oeddwch â'r handl. Dwi'n rhan a fan ynghylch i chi? Ita chyrwch yn Gymru a mae'n foyw, mae'n gyn ësgrwyl fadig, mae'n gyd ond o'n gwyllfa i chyrwch neu mae'n ffai ragu gwyllfa i'r gyrwch i'u ffosig. Wrth gwrs, mae gynnydd o'n gwych gyda. Felly mae'r gynnydd yma. Mae'n cael ei gynnu lle. Mae'n cael ei gyrwch. Mae gynnym lle i gynnu lle. Mae'n gynnu lle i gyrwch. Dwi'n ddim i ddweud hwn ar ar y gynnig mae'n gweithio'r gwaith, a dwi ddweud, a'r gwaith mor am ystafdd yn y ddweud yma yn ddim yn gweithio'r gwaith. Felly dwi'n ddweud, mwy o'n ddweud, oherwydd mae'n dda, oherwydd mae hi ddim yn ddweud! a dwi ddweud ond mae hwn wedi gweld yma yn i gael. Mae hwn o'r ddweud, dwi'n i g Dropos, mae'r gwreal i'r gwaith i'r honno. Fydd bod ni wedi'n styrwch iddyn nhw. Mae'n ei gwaith yma a ddweud. Er ydych yn gweld yn syniad a tynnerol y byddwch ynnyddio bod yn bryd. A gen blenderu'r hon, cyindustrie'r cyflogorion, byddwch yn cael ei gallu'n fawr edrych. Felly dydych yn ni, rydyn ni nhw. Diolch yn ni yn cael eu bobl? Fe wedi'n gwneud yn un mae ymlaen, ond rydyn ni'n gwybod â mynd o'r osac. Rydyn ni'n mynd i chi, nid oed li'n gynedig. Ymlaen o feir o bach o'i cyflogorion, o iddynt, ac mae gennym yn oed iddo. Gworpan chi'r ddaethau'r awr, d 재�u mynd iELIG, ac mae gennym'n gwaith, ac yn gwneud jefn i gyd yn gwneud llawer, gyda gwneud ddiw i, mae gennym'n gwaith gyda garaeon, ac mae gennym yn gwneud.  Mae'n rhan fwy o gwaith. Rwy'n ystod eich cwrdd eich bod fydd iawn. Mae'n gweithio'n gweithio bywys. Rwy'n cael eu bod yn ffrwynt. Dwy'n cael ei wneud â'r gweithio amddir. Rwy'n cael ei gwneud. Ac mae'n gweithio'n gweld polished i gynnwys grannol o'ch beth. Dwi'n ddysgu fyddwch mewn niw, ac mae'r gweithio'n fyddi wych yn niw. Fylusanwch ddwy am gynghwyl. I monterwyl ni ddechu. Felly, every time I was trying to get him, he was trying to stab me and then every time I was going to him he saw it's like a stand-off. Washington magazine Because he was coming forward I don't know where's that... It's from but he was la preparation and sort of l某 forward and just plunging in with me with his head forward and I thought I'll be tender getting him, he's gonna come forward Then I'll swing round and I'll get him and he's ten I'll get him and he's head. Mae ddigwetsio i ddedog, ac diwethaf, ac er mwyn oedd yn bwysig, gall wedi i'r arddwyr o'r myn dda. Felly mae'n arddwyr i'r ddweud a'i bod bwysig yr adeirydd. Felly mae'n iawn, ac eisiau ei ddweud, yna chi'n ddim o'r gwarfio yn eu ffasiliad, a allan oherwydd mae'r gyfleu'r gwnaeth, ac mae'n rhai i'n fuddfa i ti. Mae nhw'n arnynt i'n fydden nhw, mae'n hoffa'n defnydd. Défnwyr ni'n ardal, mae'n hoffa'n defnydd na fi, Y ddochll yn ddoch, ac tynnu'n ddweud am y dda, dwi'n dweud am y dda'r fan. A bywau fynd iawn, I will yn fwy rhaid, a weithio a'n gyfnyddwch yn ddidd. Dwi'n meddwl ei bod yn sured. Mae ddim yn cynnangol o'r llwyddi, i ddweud yn fwy ddweud yn ddi, ac rwy'n meddwl i'n gael'r rheini.  I guess things in me like when I look back on it it's a part of mental health when I was feeling like I'm because people did love me but not feeling like I fit it in. L Ai alw'r tîm? At all the time is that a part of mental health? What was just ready to grow because if you've got people who love you, you've got your mum and dad, you're in a nice home, you're not being abused or everything's right for you. Onw, yna'r g holdsau phall, i chi'n jwys ychwanegon nhw, mae gennym am y cyfrifno llwyddiad sydd wedi cael ei ffordd. Onw rydyn ni'n ysgrifennu pan fydd ei ddweud yr oedd y cyfrifn chinoedd. Mynd yüzwch oeddu mae hynny, mae gennym am yr oeddaf yn gofal. Proses mae'n gwestiwch, yna mae'n gwestiylau i chi'n hynny yn gwasanaeth hefyd, a i chi'n gysylltu. dylai gwneud i chi gweithio ytig. Rwy'n rydyn nhw'n gweithio mae'n f disgryddwyr i chi i mewn gwyrdd, yn cael ei ffroes i chi wneud i chi gweithio yn y peth. Rydyn ni'n gwni dadion i mi. Rydyn ni'n gweithio gan y dyma, ond roedd sy'n gweithio mewn gwyrdd. I'rrayio'r gwlad yn dிdw. Rydyn ni'n ei wneud. Nid ydych chi'r ddwaith hyn hyn, ac rydyn ni'n gweithio bod rydyn ni'n gweithio. A wedi'u gweithio hynny, Ie nhw'n fregynt***r he Whether it's the people who used to pick on me. When you're saying people used to pick on me, I'm like 12, 13, 14, there like 18, 19, 20-odd your old.  Well I used to after so long, I remember being sat in his house and there was two of the lads who used to pick on me all the time and one of them jumped up and said, Felly hynw'n meddwl ar gyfer, Everybody when he went G1 then I said G1 I said remember when I get older I'm coming back and he was like what do you mean I said do you remember I'm not going to forget this moment you won't do it again when I get a bit older and the other lad went he means it it and he didn't do it out to me and that was like little things and I just used to start like remembering ac oeddwn i gael, dwi rydyn ni wedi cael ei ddweud, ac rydyn ni'n edrych, dyna'r ffordd a fydd yn ystod yn gweithio. Ond oeddwn i gael, ac ond oeddwn i dda chi, dwi'n ddweud o'r ddweud, ac oeddwn i'n dweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, dwi'n ddweud, i'n ddweud, ac oeddwn i gael. Bydd yna'r eich teimlo yn y ddweud, i'r gennyn nhw. O, mae'n gweithio, mae'n ddweud wrth gwrs, ac mae'n ddweud, 15, 14 o 15, Mae'n cael gweld fod yn y Seision 53 fel y gallwn i weld, mae'r drwyio'r ddweud o'r cyfr 게is a'r hynny. Rydych yn ôl gyffin yn cyfrif Lew surd, ac yn ôl yn gyffin, ac mae'n cyfrif Lew yna'n cael ei habig o'i ddweud yn cyfrif Lew Senfwyl yn yr cyfrif Lew Sule. Felly bod yn chwyl yn gyfrif Lew Senfwyl yr ydwyd yn gyffin. Mae'n bod y lleol yn cyfrif Lew Senfwyl yr ydwyd yn cyfrif Lew. A fyddech chi'n ychwaneg yn ôl adill o'r cyfrif Lew Sule a'r FF15 sydd ei ysgol ydweith. ac mae hynny oherwydd hynny i heddiw. Roeddwn ni'n bergol o'r pwn ac roeddwn ni'n cefnio'r gwaith o'r hwnnw i'r cyfnod air arnaeth yn y pwn. Roedd y pwyny'r ddefnyddio'r mewn ydw i'r gwasanaeth hynny. Rym ni'n parod o'r gwaith, rym ni'n goll gwaith i gael y clwn ac rym ni'n gofynu'r gwaith i fi arno a'i wgio'n gei yn mynd i'r gwaith. a dŵr yma'n rhoi'r ffordd a rŵs. Ac dŵr rŵs, dŵr yma'n rhoi'r wyf. Cynyddiwch nad oedd bwysgwyr i'r ffordd. Fwrdd'r ffordd i'r ffordd i'r sgwpwn. Yn ymddangos nhw'n wneud o'r ffordd o. Rwy'n ei gydnw i, ac mae gyddon i'r cyddon, nad yna gyn ni ddefnyddio Llywodraeth nesaf. Rwy'n ei gydw i mwy oedden nhw'n mwy oedden. Writh y gallwn i'r sgwpwn i'r ffordd, Da ichi ei ddaw iawn er gwar i'r gwahanol, dwi wedi bod yn rhan i ffordd i'r ffordd yw. A hefyd, sob chi'n rhan i'u bod hefyd. Fe wnaeth fyddem ar gyfer unrhyw yma, dwi dda'r dquin. совершf ar mynd i gyd i fod oed yn blyniadau i fyllfa ar gyfer hynny. Fyddwn ni'n gyd. Fydda'r dda'r chy здесьw ar gyfer a gweithio ar y dydd. Felly, ein cyllid yn bl소�fod mewn eich gwneud. Mae'r cyllid wedi bod y peth o'r hollu. Rwy'n nhw dda'n arddai. ydych chi'n gwybod 5 yw, 10 yw, 20 yw, 25 yw. Rwy'n cael ei wneud am y cwrdd a'r mÙl yn mynd i'n gwasglu'n mynd i'n gwybod yw. Ac oeddwn i'n ddefnyddio'n gwneud. Dw i'n cael ei gwybod, a'n eich cyfrifio, ond roi'n gwneud. Ychynig i gwyb i chi'n gwyb. Ydw i'n gwyb i'r cyfrifio, dwi'n gwybod i'r cyfrifio, dwi'n gwyb i'r cyfrifio. Rwy'n gwyb i chi'n gwyb i chi. So I wouldn't kill them a I was before I died and they were saying it to them... and they were going. that I was going. I wasn't saying every word I've just said. And I didn't realise they were a bit real, because they were stuck in at the corner of the track. They would say."What was it being in prison for the first time? yw aethau aethau, 15, 16, oherwydd ymrwyng... a rwy'n meddwl yw'r ystafell. Diolch yn meddwl, a gwneud am y cyfrifio. Yn gyfnodd, rwy'n meddwl, ac rwy'n meddwl, rwy'n meddwl a'r ystafell, ac rwy'n meddwl, mae gweithio rwy'n meddwl i gyd, rwy'n meddwl, angen i'r meddwl yw'r hynny'n meddwl. Mae'r cyfrifio'r meddwl i'r meddwl, rwy'n meddwl, ac rwy'n meddwl i'r meddwl i'r meddwl, Rwy'n golygu, rwy'n gwybod, mae'n rhoi'r newydd yw'r lad, y lad dros Steven Russell. Yn hyllid yn i'ch nid i'r beidi honi, a rwy'n gynnyddio'n gwneud. Mae'r rhaid i'r rhaid. Rwy'n gyrddol â'r gwneud, rwy'n gyrddol â'r beidi, a rwy'n gyrddol â'r gwneud. Rwy'n gyrdd â'r gwneud, mae'n cael ei chymysgu, ond nid yw eich gwneud.  Ac mae wedi bodi'n gweithio'r bodi'n teimlo. Ac mae'n meddwl am credu y masmodster, a'i ardal am amser yma. Dwi'n mynd i wedi'n tredu, mae ten oed, Mae felwacht mwy'n gallu sgw touringwch. Felly byddwn nominatedais. Mae'r ein marketing fydd i'w hyn newohol mor hwn. O'l Tamalio, byddai'n cyff concerns. Commander, mutio hen and loads of Sheungan. Maennwch, isau cyff horses ond re shelfgw. A dyna'r gwybod yn ystod yn gweithio, a dyna'r ffwrdd yma'r ystod y gallai'r bwysigol, a dyna'r wneud i'r prydyn ni'n cael mwyllwns, i'r LHMP mwyllwns. Nid yw'n meddwl. Ac efo'r meddwl, rydyn ni'n meddwl, rydyn ni'n meddwl i'r meddwl, a dyna'r meddwl i mi. A dyna'r ydydd yn gwneud y cwm. The fact is, I said I'm on pre parish, I should be getting £12, can I and I said there's only £2, done take my PIa double SAR on me, and you went err, or go behind your cell. He had a... I just filled the cup up with boiling hot water and I'd tried to fling it at him, and he jumped out of the way. Went behind my door, baricated myself up, took my clothes off and put her all over and just started smashing the cell up Gwbod yw yng ng unig o'r ddwy? And ddweud i'r rheini am mwyll Clefwyr. I ddweud i'r rheini! Felly mae derbyn gwaith yn gweithio a dda i gael gwyllparol o'r dref. Gweithio ddweud o'r dref! Gwyd szyfod yn gyflawni, o'ch gweithio hynny i'r gweithio't. Furation, hollwyr, mae'r rhain. Byddai gwyllparol yw yne'n gweithio. Dyma ni'n cyfle i ddweud? Felly, cydwch i gael y cydwyr yma, hanes ychydig ar y cydwyr? Felly, mae'r llyfr yma. Felly, gennym arall. Mae'r gwahodd, ein bod yn ôl. A byddai'n meddwl i'n meddwl, mae wedi'i gweithio, mae'r gwahodd, mae'r gwahodd, mae'r gwahodd, yn dod. Fy fydd yn cydwyr, mae'r gwahodd, mae'n gwahodd, mae'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl. I went to North Allerton, was ruthless in there. Can you not remember the Bradford Riots years ago, the race Bradford Riots? Not sure. It's all, it'll be all over the news, but that happened. So loads of like Asian people and Yorkshire people came into the, into the prison. But because it was loads of them, I started feeling like, oh, we're all together, we can take over, whatever. And I wasn't even bothered. I didn't even play pool like either. So get this on you didn't even play pool, but people knew what I was like and they came and got into my head. They were coming over, it was like, over there, I think they were running the jail. Cos they haven't got the guts to do it themselves. They come to someone like me and get my head going. And I was like, and? Let them think as long as they don't come to me, I don't care. And then they were like, yeah, look at them. That was our pool table, all of North East. Lads used to be on their sheen. What would let them do that? And they got it in my head. I went right, leave it with me, all sorted out. So I just walked over and said, he gives a look at that pool cue. Crack, smacked it, went for his head, but he put his hand up and I snapped his wrist. But I jumped into the doorway and when I jumped into the doorway, the officers didn't see me and they all started battling with the other lads. They ran past all the lads that were fighting and come to me. They never seen me do it. I did it and got away and they ran past them, dragged me for a sec. And that was crazy. And then there was another lad from London. And I actually have later found out that he's meant to be a bit of a face down there. So I'll not say, but he got shipped out from a riot and they come up north and it was loads of them. And he's black lads. And he started running around. So in the exercise yard that what happens is that you'll have all the Middlesbrough and all the teeside lads over there, all the county Durham lads. And they'll mingle every now and then, but all the main lads from their own area stand together. So it was me, Pete Lee lads and he just started running up because he wanted to ship out because he was he started running up. There was about 50 Middlesbrough lads. And he's ran up to them and they were all jumping back, all of them. And then he ran up to the Sunderland lads he was doing. And they were all doing it and he got the main. I just ran over, swung a couple of punches. And then I saw all the black lads jump up and I thought, yeah, that's for me. And when I looked behind me, I heard someone say, oh, we've got your back. The whole of the prison was stood behind me. These are the ones who were all jumping back and patling themselves. They're all stood behind me saying, I've got your back. And then I went down the seg for that, me and him. He shouted some stuff out. I said, I'll see you're on the back on the wing then. Went back on the wing and I walked past them and he saw what I did a thing with. He's looking to when to do that thing when they walk. He did that as I walked past them and I had a metal tray. They're not like it's now the plastic, but it used to be metal. And I just turned around and bounced the tray off his head and just started scrapping with them. And the screws, the screws didn't even restrain me because I knew what I was like.  What height in that were you then?  Was it three, six, four? I wasn't. I wasn't. I got even bigger. I was massive at one point.  But I'd say at the time when I started doing that, we thought I would say I was about 16 stone or something like that. And I was just running around. Yeah, just I don't know what happened to me to be truthful. I just all I remember as I was just a soft person started getting a little big game.  And I don't I'm not one of them, you know, and I've always said this. You do get a lot of people who carry knives today, but they're not willing to kill. And if they do, it was all out of fear. There's a difference. And that might not it might sound crazy, but there is a difference when you have someone who is willing to kill and his old purpose of having that knife is that he wants to kill and he does not fear one because I've seen people fight with knives or big sorts and they're slashing at each other and the slashing. If you if they had an intention to kill, they'd just only have to go over once and just go pump straight in his body, pull it out. He's going to hit the floor because you've got his organs or he's going to die. So slashing of people and getting the outside of the skin for me is you're not intended to kill. You're trying to put fear into the other people and stuff like that. Many people do you think you've stabbed a lot? Yeah, I've been caught. I've been what I mentioned as what I've been caught for, but stabbans and about serious ones, about 15. And everyone you enjoyed? Everyone loved it. I loved it for everything, the fear in the faces, the running in the people's houses. The only thing I've really, really bothers me is an image I've got in my head, upsets me still, is I had no, I didn't care about what I did and who was around. And I'll never forget this one image when I've run smashed in the house with someone else running and knives the fruots and the kids screaming and the mum having hold of the kid in total fear, do you know what I mean?  And just absolutely, I can't get that image of the fear out my head. Yeah, it must be difficult, it's basically at that stage, killing somebody's kid as well, the fear that their mum and dad will also have. I wouldn't have done that. No, but killing somebody's kid, if you stab a kid, there's still somebody's son. Oh yeah, or sorry, I was in my... I'm not meaning stab the kid or the parent, so in that kid they're parent. Have you ever came across that kid that you've done that to? Because that trauma could potentially affect them their whole life. I've done it so many times, I don't even open and explain. Half the time the people you're doing that to, you don't even know who they are. And it's a matter of trying to be careful anyway. Why have you done it? Is that touching people?   But then when you've got nutcases and people who are offered themselves, they want to find the people who are even more offered than them to deal with them for them as well. So it's a bit like that. So sometimes on the odd, now and then, people will come and say, you're going to sort them out for us. Or even if it was just a close friend who I would have done it for now anyway. And it was all things like that. But the majority of the times was just for me to get my reputation and make people feel me. Yeah, it's always consequences and repercussions. How many different prisons have you been in, Shane? I don't know. North Allerton, Deobalt, Weatherby, Mullins, Homehouse, Durham, Brixton, Franklin, Folsom, Longlarton, Whitemore, Wakefield, Segg and a few of us. Were you just getting ghosted around? It was mainly going from the dispersal prison, going down your rounds because once you're in them prisons or top security prisons, it's like unless you're getting a bit better and safe, you can go down. But I was always in Franklin, Folsom, Longlarton and Whitemore. Then I went to Wakefield, Segg and they wouldn't put me on the wings. Then I would go back to the Segg in Whitemore. That just in years and years and years and years in the dispersal prison. It was just constantly in the segregation unit, constantly. Were you happy in the Segg? Were you happy in prison because you were away from your own demons? You couldn't hurt anybody anymore? No, I was working through your mind. Just, it wasn't that I wanted to be on the wings in that, especially when you get TVs and you can watch EastEnders and that, you know what I mean? But it was just, my mindset was set on this war with the system. I detested them for what they were doing and for how it all runs. And I was just constantly set on revenge, set on battling prison officers, set on being an idiot, set on fighting people when I could and selling drugs and getting me canteen and getting extra stuff, like so I was getting steroidant as well. And just, that's all my mind was set on really, I wasn't set on. In fact, I lost the set of getting out at one point. Didn't even care if I got out. You gave up? I guess that's what you could say, yeah? Give up on everything. So when you stabbed the kid in the head, what was your sentence for that? So I got four year and nine month because the charge got knocked. So it was attempted murderer originally. If you're solicited as a good job, you get your knocked down. So it went down from attempted murder and I think he got it knocked down to rather section 18 or was it section 20? Section 18 or section 20 and I ended up getting four year and nine month. And then what? Yeah, you didn't get out, you stabbed two corpus to secure it again. Yeah, so when I was in the prison, in home house prison, I used to love my gym. And when I love the gym, I used to train and I started taking a make and not let me go at the gym. And one day when they didn't let me out, I just knocked on the window to the officer. I said, why aren't you let me out at the gym?  And I said, I want to get you. And he didn't believe me. And so my mates who knew me know that when I, because I used to have a belief. If I say something, I have to follow through with it. So I used to go to someone and say what I was going to do because I knew then that if I didn't do it, I'd get paranoid and they'd start going, I look, said he was going to do that.  He hasn't even done it. So I would do that deliberately. So I set a plan in motion and went out on association.  And I went out on association with it wrapped in me towel. And I went up to these two lads and I told them to go at the end of the wing and talk to the officer.  And they went over, started chatting with them as they were chatting. And I went up to another lad and I just said, right, see the officer over there. I said, chuck the pool balls at him. And he had some problems as well. And I was like, he was like, I don't know. I said, just go on, just do it. And got into his head. I said, once it all kicks off, I'll deal with it.  The officer got up, they get off the wing. The lads jumped in front of the gates. He pulled his bat on and he had no choice but to run towards the lad who was chucking the pool balls. At this point, I pulled out the jar, smashed the bottom off and ran over and just started slashing and stabbing them. And then another officer come and I stabbed them as well. And that different ball game then to the system. And so I was done for, I think it was, I can't remember what I was done for, but I ended up getting an extra four year summing on top of that as well. And again, that was the charges were got dropped down.  Yeah, I lost a feeling of love and care, a dark place to be in. Cos it's a mask, you see, I just remember it was always a mask. I was always like this little horrible, this little soft inside, didn't really want to do stuff, but I had fear of, like, if I wasn't liked, if I wasn't feared, I had this fear of not being like that. And so I was scared all the time inside. So I'd put this mask on like I was buzzing and just super gay, which I was. But then I would just, I just, all I remember is the dark place I had that the mask was as that. I was in a dark lonely place, didn't care whether I got released, didn't care whether I got out and just totally, totally give up on life. Like, totally, like death would have been a good thing. But you ever saw a say though? No. But I would put myself in scenarios that could have killed me and purposely. But I thought I'll go out like a, I'll go out with a bang. This is what my mind is like. Death is good, but I'll do it right, not cowardly. I'll do it in a way where I'll go on a rampage and I'll start killing people and stabbing people up, all these gangsters or these faces, whoever they are. And then I'll just go ruthless and let them kill me in the process. And I'll leave with a big bang. That's my mindset, which is crazy. So it's like suicidal, but not suicidal. I couldn't try and kill myself because I used to, again, fear. If I did that to myself, then died like that.  And so I wanted to go out in a crazy way, in that way. So if someone stabbed me and killed me, it would have been a good thing for me at the time. And it would have been a good, it would have settled what was in there.  Totally different ballgame. What did it do? Brutality. Did it beat you? It set me up all the time. Constantly, it was just, you've got to be saying to, you've got to rather be saying or strong, because my mindset is strong. See, I've got this mindset right now. I went through five years of on a daily basis. Brutality, set ups, winding me up. And when you're saying brutality, I'm talking six or seven prison officers on ride gear, running in yourself with ballies on so you can't recognise who they are if you ever come across them again.  And just as you think you're going to die and your body goes into a panic letting go, they'll let you have a breath and then doing it again and doing that for an hour or something while you handcuffed up and doing stuff like that. And at the end, you're still there going, come on, is that all you've got? You can't break me because the system tries to break you when you're ruthless.   I lost, I didn't even care if I got out at that point. I was especially in Franklin, HMP, Franklin. I ended up in the CSC cells in there. Just battling them constantly, I just did not care. And I was that bad in Franklin that even when I went out on an adjudication, the governor and the judge was stood in ride gear and stuff. And I went what you got them on for, they were like, in case of attackers, I was like, what do I do with things like that? It was just a battle, constant, constant battle, like one of the situations was. I used to go through a process at standing on the back wall or lying on the floor. If I lied on the floor, I used to lie on the floor when my legs took straight, when my hands up like that, or they wouldn't open the door. And then they would like, the door would slam open a bit of intimidation, slam it as hard as they could. And then they'd put the shield into the doorway.  And then when the shield was onto me, they would like, tell me to put my hands off my head.    And then once I touched the shield, they would step back so I could step out the doorway, touch the shield again. They'd tell me to go to the side, slam me up against the door. Again, same process, two ride gear people, one on each side, search me down.  And with about six or seven officers behind that shield, slowly walking backwards. And I'd have to walk backwards like that all the way. It would take me about 10, 15 minutes, maybe more just to go around the corner on the exercise yard. And then they started handcuffing me. So they would handcuff me because I would still go off it. Then they would handcuff me with my hands behind my back.  So they would have one on that side, one on that side, my mother ride gear shield, ride officers there, a one behind were ride officers, ride shields. And I would, any chance I got, I would try and get them. Kick off. And once I've never mentioned this, just to show you my mentality, there was one officer who was always in the front, but he would smirk. No, behind all, I'm not letting them, but he stood at the front to be going. Right out to me. Gordon me and stuff. And then one day I just bit my hair because he had big baldy hair, like really shiny, you know, one of them ones. And I bit all my hair off, made it shiny so I looked like him. And he come to the door because I pressed my buzzer. I waited until he was on and I could hear his voice, I pressed the buzzer and he come down to the door and he opened the flap. And he went, hey, what have you done that with your hair for? And I smashed my face into the door when the pop me nose open.  Right out and then he just went white and I said, don't go because he went to go. I said, don't go.  And he was like, well, I said, see you, what you're doing to me. I said, have your fun now. I said, but one day when I get out, I said, I want to come, I want to get you.  I said, I want to get fishing wire and I want to stick the mouse, stick the mouse together and the eyes together.  So I was saying because I was because of what they were doing to me, they would brutalise me and doing stuff to me. And I was thinking, I'll get you back. And I was saying to them, I'm going to make you watching while you're watching, you're going to know it's because of you, why this is happening and all that stuff in my head. And then I said, a sigh of chitris through his. And then I had the sigh of chitris coming. I was like, didn't say a thing. I don't know what you're on about. No, just just a constant battle between them and they're just as bad as you, though. That's the thing that, you know, they just not all of them, but majority of them, they stick together. If one of the officers attacked you, they'd all make a statement to say that you attacked the officer. So they're all on the same side.  He's soon right statement to say to protect them. So it's just them against you What was it like speaking to a psychiatrist for the first time?  And I got sectioned off when I was younger. I went in the open bit, they sectioned me off for a bit and I got restrained once off them. And then they come and put me in a section at their security unit. It was called St. Luke's at the time. And they put me in there because they said that I had unnormal strength because there was about five bodybuilders all trying to pin me down and they couldn't, took them ages. And they had to get a needle and inject me with a needle. And then I woke up three days after I was something drunk, lost three days in my life. Did you ever have visitors, friends come up and visit you, family? Family and that would come come and visit me. But again, in prison, what you learn is you don't have many friends. You know, you go to prison though I'm right, so I'll right for a couple of months. And then after the row for a couple of months, they forget about you. Or maybe just when you've got a couple of months left, suddenly everybody starts writing to you again, telling you the problems and who, you know what I mean? Just you don't have friends.  You close family like your mom, your dad, people like that. But friends up, none of them wrote. They did when I first went in, but then they soon stopped. Yeah. How was it for Yrmar to come up and see her boy just becoming like the devil?  How hard is that? As a parent now, I just can't imagine what my mamala went through being constant worry. She's told me she used to sit. But one thing I remember of saying is every Christmas when I used to be in jail because when you're in jail, you think it's just you, you're bothering. To me in jail, I'm doing the sentence. You don't think about people outside. And she said to me every Christmas I used to go upstairs and I'd be crying.  And that bothered me. And then another time when I got out this time when I was changing stuff, I was out about a year and I was stood talking to me, my stepdad and stuff. And I said, do you think I've changed? And he went, oh, you've changed. And I said, why? Tell me, how do you think I've changed?  And I just was like. You were scared of me. And that bothered me. And that's difficult to be then.   Simple as that.  But the beautiful thing is you've actually changed your life. You've actually became a good man. You've actually regret your sins and regret what you've done in life and you're trying to make amends and do good, which is a beautiful thing, brother. That will touch on that now.   I was in Parkhurst prison and I started getting involved in selling heroin with some people from a person from Gateshead and another person. And then I put a hit on an officer at 10 bags of heroin and it was a bit of a setup but in that time while I was doing all that, this Christian company called Robert Bull or Ronald Bull and he started trying to preach Jesus to me and stuff like that and I just went, get away from me, you plonger. I said, unless God visibly appears like you now, I'll never believe. But he would just go on and then one day he said something and I just didn't forget it and it was because I was confused and he said to me, he were talking and he got me attention he was pointing at his heart and he said, I've been in prison for years and years I'm never going to get out of your life. He pointed at his chest, he said, but I'm free. Now my logic at the time you're in prison, you're in a prison cell, you're never getting out again. How are you free? How I just now I think, how didn't I get it? But at the time I was thinking, how can you be free? What does he mean? So I went back to myself and it would just bother me. I was sat on my bed thinking like, what does he mean? How is he free? He's in jail forever. He's never getting out. How is he free? What does he mean? And then he chucked these little YGs leaflets and then I ended up getting dragged to the SEG for what I've just said. So that was the first incident of a little encounter with something making me think. And I ended up going to the SEG for subversive behaviour. And we were saying I was trying to use some authority to overthrow the authorities.  And then subversive behaviour for that and then obviously part of smuggling drugs into the prison. And then when I was in the SEG I went on a dirty protest kicked off and they just come and said, right, you're going back to the top security prisons again, you've had your chance to say it, boom, skate back to the top security and I ended up in there. Is it long lightning in Worcestershire? Ended up in HMP, long lightning, ruthless jail. And after a couple of weeks being in there, they opened my cell door and they said go to education. So I was like, oh yeah, buzzen. They must have been getting my education class.  They've got what you call movements and they'll come to everyone cell gym, visit, works, no, every, and you've got to go to your destination. When you get to that destination is two officers with a clipboard and if your name's on the list they'll let you through and if your name's not on the list they're meant to send you back to the wing. Now, if they, you got through when you escaped they could lose a job.  So it's serious.  So I made a fuss and I must have done their edzing because one of them stepped back and he went, go to the chaplaincy. And so I walked down the chaplaincy but I was just buzzing thinking, oh, buzzing, I don't have to go back and resell. So I went into the chaplaincy, walked in and it was a circle of lads. Basically watching this film of this like posh guy, hello, do you know.  It's one of them mad Christian things, you know what I mean? But I thought, soon as a video finishes, I'll get off. So I finished and before I could do anything the little Christian mum was like, oh, are you meant to be here? Blah, blah, blah. She said, your name's not on the list. So I said, oh, I'll go back. And as I went to go back one of the lads leaned in and he went, you get free biscuits and gatos and that. I was like, oh, miss, can you put my name down please? You know, strawberry gatos and chocolate biscuits and stuff in prison was like gold dust.  It's like an alpha course, it's called. A lot of inmates at prisoners are becoming Christian through it. And I was just like, oh, he's, that's nuts. And then and just to go back a little bit, you know, when we talked about coincidences my cell door gets opened but my name wasn't on the list. When I got to the other end I was meant to be sent back to the wing but they let me through and someone pointed out to me, think of it like this, Shane. Where did you go and say that your name was down on the list for? I said education. Where did the chaplain, where did the prison officer guide you to? When he stepped back, he said go to the chaplaincy. Why? Why open my cell door when I'm not on a list? Why let me through when I'm not on a list and why would an officer who's not a Christian send me to the chaplaincy? And I just see that as like what, you know, people say coincidence but there's many there, isn't there? And then when I went in and I just remember going on all the time they had this day what they dedicate to the Holy Spirit and when they dedicate to the Holy Spirit they're basically like just pray for your own stuff and things can happen or not. Nothing happened to me.  And then I'm making a cup of coffee and this chaplain Eddie Baker just come walk inside of me. He said I've never done this in all the years I've worked here but God has just told me to tell you to come here this afternoon on your own.  Yeah, all right, I'll come over. Goes to my cell, comes, the officers go out for the break, they come back after two hours and then they open everyone up to go back to education, chaplaincy and whatever. Opened my door and said chaplaincy. So I went back down and found him and he took me into chaplaincy bit and he got two chairs like this. And he said, right, I'm going to see some verses out the Bible. He said something about no one's righteous, not one. We all fall short of the glory of God and another one about Jesus dying on the cross for your sins and explaining the Bible a bit. And then he just said pray. And I just remember thinking what do I pray? What do I say? And he just said, from your heart pray. And I just remember finding a saint to myself. God, if you're real, do something. Do something because no, if you're real, please come into my life. Just, and I said other stuff. And I stopped praying and this has been over 10 years and it's still upset me because it was the start of the change in my life. That second, and I just remember sitting back after I prayed nothing happened. And as I was talking, I started to feel like an energy feeling in my stomach and start to raise up and raise up and raise up and it just shot up my body. And I uncontrollably sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. And I realised the hurt I'd done, the bad I'd done. And that, from all that, do you think that was a release, Shane? From you being a scared kid, knowing you were doing wrong but then wanting fear to then that day has been a release of getting a better understanding of yourself and then understanding the pain because there is always that effect where your conscience becomes clearer.  Look at the pain, of course. How is that feeling? All I knows, right up to that very moment, I was still active in everything. Still planning to kill people when I got out and everything. And then when that experience happened, it was just like I'd become a totally different person. It was just different. And then I had this sense of God's real. He's really real. You know, I have people telling me all the time and I think whatever. And then sometimes I would think, well, if he is real, I hope one day shows me he is. And it was just an instant thing. So I can't sort of put it down to anything but I'm prayed for, I have this experience. And from that moment on, my life totally changed. I was no longer seeing the prison system as an enemy. I would start to think logically. It was almost like, honestly, it's crazy. It's almost like someone had just gone in there and just got a couple of them. Why is what were loose and just connected them back up? And suddenly the brain just went, ooh, all right. You know, it was that kind of feeling. And then I would just remember just thinking, wait there a minute.  And then I was thinking, but I've committed a crime. I've committed a crime, so I should be. And then I thought to myself, well, I've been going through all this brutality and I hate the system for that. But wait there a minute. I stopped the prison officers. What did I want them to do? Come and tickle me feet and feed me coffee. You see what I'm saying? So I started to realise that my actions were putting me where I was, not everybody else. And that's the biggest problem with every criminal. It's never them. It's always anybody else but them. It's always the one who called the police on them outside someone to get them back. It's his fault. It's always the police officers fault because he arrested them. It's always the prison officers fault because he locks the door behind. When reality, it's your fault you're there.  You want to run around ruthless. So it's on you. Criminals never do that. They always put the blame off on the other people.  I'm only in for that charge. And they always like just to find themselves of each other if that makes sense. Responsibility is key to make any changes in your life. No matter how. So how does a man who people class is insane? People sees a threat, security, other prisoners, family members and then saying that you've found God and you've found peace and you can see that you want forgiveness. Do then people still think you're even more crazy? How long does it take for people to get an understanding of you? They say, OK, he's changing. Or do they think it was just a scam to maybe get free cakes and biscuits and just another ploy to pretend that you're OK? It took years of getting out. When I first got out of prison, when I was in jail, the number one governor actually made a meeting. There was that shock that I was running around the wing as a Christian that I remember getting the chaplaincy coming to me and saying, can you come to the governor? The number one governor has created a meeting for you. Will you go to the company this meeting? So I went in. I thought it was just going to be the governor. It was this table probably longer than this room that the governor had in. They asked me to sit at the other end of there and every chair was full, social workers, probation, other imams and other religious leaders, the head of the police in the prison or security. They were all left and I walked in and sat down. I was like, how are you, Shane? You're due to be out soon, but we've heard there's been a change. And the number one governor went, do you have anything to say? I started preaching Jesus to him for about 10 minutes. I was going, Jesus has really come into my life. And I was like, I was saying, he's really, really changed me. He's in my heart. Yes, I've got to repent and believe. I've known I was just a new Christian and didn't have a clue. And they must have all been planning. Do you know a one by one that asked me a question? But after me chatting away for 10 minutes about Jesus, he went to the mayor. Does anyone else have any more questions that I went? No, you're all right. No, put their heads down. And then I ran on the wing with the Bible. And because I'm known as attacking officers, I've ran on the wing with the Bible in the top security prisons on movements to standing groups in case I get attacked. And I remember running up to the officer and I jumped in front of them and they've all sort of jumped back as if there was going to be a fight and they've got ready. And I went, it's real. And they're all looking at each other. I went, it's real. And they went, what's real? I went, Jesus Christ, he's real. And they all just split up and walked off and no one left us. And it just, I can't even begin to even explain how do you humanly explain what happened to me? It's impossible. I can't explain it myself. All I'm saying is I was just this weirdo. I had this experience and it's instantly changed me. And I was out within a year. Everyone was saying, ah, it's a blag. I'll be back in jail. And as the time went on over the years, the longer I was out and the longer people were seeing it was real, the long, that's when people start to come to me.  I'm really struggling. You know this Jesus you're on about.  And it's like, all right, you know, and I just found over time, you've got to prove yourself and that's what it's about.  Yeah, he's changed. Come on, we'll all trust you. I think as time went on and the years went on, people started to realise it's not, he's not playing because he's not going to be doing the four or five years down the line. Now it's been nearly 13, 14 year. It was 2007 I got out. And I'd become a Christian about a year or so before then. So you're talking 13 year, I don't know, something like that. And so when the, as the time goes on, I think it was, and what I was doing. So the ladder stopped there. Every time I went into this area, I just never see him, he'd disappear. And one day I saw somebody who were new when I walked up from him in the club. I said, can you go and tell such and such that this is real? I'm sorry for what I did for a minute, it's real, I'm not playing. He went, you mean it? I went, yeah, funny enough, he left the pub. We were in five, 10 minutes, them two walking and he walks in, sits down at the table in the pub. And I sat down and I held my hand out and I said, I'm sorry for what I've done. And he said, it takes a big man to do what you've just done. And he got up and walked off. And then, so I was doing stuff like that to people, which was making people think, whoa. And then the prison officer, again I start working in the prison in my mouse. The actual prison where I stopped the prison officers crazy or what. And he was, the officer I was with picked the phone and rang someone. And the door knocked, and the door knocked was the officer I stopped. And he come in and I just said, look mate, I said, I'm sorry for what I've done. I said, I really regret what I've done. Will you forgive me? And he just held his hand out and he said, I forgive you. Yeah. How's that feeling to people who you're potentially nearly killed to then saying they forgive you? Does that give you a bit of peace of mind that? It gives me a peace of mind, definitely. But, and I do forgive myself when I'm crying here. This isn't because I don't forgive myself and I'm feeling like I'm not forgiven. It's more of just having remorse and feeling, you know, realising what I've done. And as I'm talking, the images come into my head. And so I know what I've done. I realise the things I've done. And all I'm going to say is, this is just the tip of the iceberg. What I'm telling you is what I'm comfortable to reveal. Then nothing. And so I think when you're talking about stabbing someone in the head and people go, oh, I think definitely can't tell you the other stuff because if that's enough, I'll just reveal what I need to reveal in my life. And I know that when God came into my life, if He gave me at that point and I'm forgiven and I reveal what I choose to reveal and that's it for really kind of thing. Do you get any medication or anything in the notion? No, I never have, I've never took it. Did the diagnose you anything? Yeah, I don't know if I've said it. Yeah, I was diagnosed. Wait, I've had a few different ones because you seem to get different ones. But at the time I was diagnosed with paranoid delusions. Psychopathic tendencies and personality disorder. I was diagnosed with them three things. And I'll tell you where that comes from.  I would then see people around the area and if they laughed, and it'll only be laughing amongst themselves talking, in my head, I'd be thinking they're laughing because they mugged me off and I never did anything about it. So there's the paranoid delusions. They would get worse, see? Everyone's laughing at you, Shane.   You're going to have to deal with them. You bumped into your like that and you didn't do anything about it. I had a laugh and looked at them. Do you hear them laughing there? Then that would turn into psychopathic tendencies. I would then start plotting the deaths, start plotting to kill on, stab them up.  The longer I leave it, the worse it gets. And then I would just think crazy stuff.  I'll do this and do that and start looking in books about what to get away with murders and all this stuff, crazy stuff.  It wouldn't go on my head. In the sense of a matter of just the worse it gets, the more I want to do it. And it's horrible. So when people are battling mental health and a lot of people say, they're getting a release. When you're battling these mental thoughts, you're sort of, your self-harm is taking revenge out on other people. And you would get a release. Yeah, that's the best way to put it. That would give me relief and release me. Cos it was almost like it's just pressure. I'd give myself pressure in my brain. So if I leave things, I'd come to a point where I'd stop leaving things because I knew that if I left it, so I would deal with it on the spot because I knew I would suffer if I didn't. And it's like now, even as a Christian, now I don't fear people. I fear my response to people. And I know I'm a Christian, but I'm human. And 100% of changing would take something drastic to get me to go down another route. But that's reality, do you know? How is that then when you start changing your life? If you've made the reputation that people fear you, but the damage that you've done, is it ever fearful that there will be a revenge because you have went to the other side? No, I don't fear people. Like I say, it doesn't matter. If people want to do that, they do it. There's nothing I can do about that. I just hope and pray for their sake because this is how I look at it. It's them who's damaging themselves even more. So if I've hurt them, who's winning if I'm still bothering them? And so the message would be really for people is don't let it bother you. And if the revenge is only going to affect them in the end, I can't do nothing about what other people think I'll do. I can try and give remorse. And if I see them, I can try and shake their hands. I can try and do whatever. But yes, I do sometimes have it in the back of my mind. What if someone does this, what if they plot that? What if this happens? And so it doesn't make me edgy, but it does enter me head a little bit sometimes, yeah. Yeah, it can play tricks in your mind because you still get the old thoughts, process. You maybe watch a certain film or hear a certain song where it can trigger certain emotions from. My biggest battle is pride over thinking things.  Obviously I can overcome with it, but I'm still a human being just because I'm a Christian. People think you're suddenly becoming a super holy person with no struggles, nor. I still have the struggles, but God helps me to cope with them, and I can overcome them. But I can, someone can do something to me in two months down the line, I can still be thinking about it in my head when the other person's totally forgot about it on the same day. So I still have battles in there, but just I'm not to cope with them now and I'm not to deal with them thoughts and not enough thoughts with them situations.  I don't get the feelings that I want to kill people and stuff like that, but I worry, I have a worry in my head, like if people come and it's on me, you know, like you're saying what if people come back and revenge and let's just say 10 people turn up at my front door, how I respond to that is what I worry about. And I know what I'm like, but when I've got you, I know that I can let things go and I know that it would take something huge to set me off. But what you don't know, you can never know what's around the corner when it comes to your family and needn't protect your family and stuff like that. How would you respond and what would you do? And I'm not fearful of anybody that we tell you that right now. And I don't mean that in a, there's no fear in there. I have one fear or keeps me right right now. And it's God. If you take God away from my life, I have no fear. God's become that control for me. I fear God. And so when I overthink things and think I'll do this, I'll do that, I have this fear that I know what happened to me in the prison. You know, people can say what they want, but I know God's real, I know he come. So because I know that, I have a fear of, you know, getting it wrong in the sense of going down the wrong route that keeps me on track at the minute.  Do I have them fought at times? Definitely 100%. I do get them fought and I do struggle with them still. I'm a... Yeah, yes, you mean it.   I get crazy thoughts, but I was never to the extent where I would fall anything through.  Like there is a good feeling from it, but then you go, you feel tired after it, but for yourself, it must be harder because you know you can go down, you can go that extra edge. Scares me, yeah. I have that fear. I don't, like I say, I do not fear people. Honestly, I don't know why. I don't know if that is that weird, is that a problem, I don't know. But no one scares me. It does not. Someone ran at me and pulled out a gun now. Shoot me, it does not fear me. I don't know what that is. I don't know if that's still a problem and I'm not sure, but I don't fear people. It doesn't bother me. What about speaking to somebody now? Have you spoke to anyone? I called you instead of doctors. Well, I've been out of prison for over 13, 14 years now and I'm sound. How old are you now, Shane? 40. Still young. Yeah. So what's your daily routine like now? Get up, school run with five kids. Come back, train, start a train again.   How do you go now forward for the future now that you've been out for 13, 14 years? You've got a successful book out as well. What's your plans for the future, Shane? I've learnt not to plan my life out because you don't know what's around the corner. That sounds crazy. But I just take everything as it comes now. Like all that, it just come my way. I don't go out. I don't care about money. I don't get no money from that. Why? Cos I don't care, it's not about that for me. I know what happened to me. I know where I was in life and I was a scumbag and I was in a dark place and I was lost in a life but I knew what I thought I could never get out of. And when I was in prison, I used to always think when I get out, this is it, this is going to be the time and I really generally meant it.  And it's just a cycle and you don't know how to get out of it. And two messages is no matter where you are in life. You can change and the second one is God is 100% real. He came into my life and I'm telling you now, he changed my life for the good and I know. And I almost have this like desperation in me sometimes. Now when you want to just get people and say, listen, it's real, just believe me because you're going to die one day and all the times you've laughed and joked and it's too late and it's like that kind of a feeling for me and I just want that message out. You don't have to go down that route of crime and I don't care about money to get that. You don't need money to get that message out. You know, someone else is obviously making a bit of money out but I don't want any, I'm not bothered. OK. I've had a few people on it's been in prison and the same as people who's had addictions have turned to Christ and it's changed their life. I'm open for everyone to do what they want as long as they're not harming anyone if you're focusing your energy on something and it's changing your life for the better, for the man that you are, then so be it man, go for it.  What advice would you give for them Shane? I'd say just learn how to just get away from that life because I'll tell you one thing I've realised and this is the biggest message. See your friends or you think you've got, they're not real. I'm telling you, I know they might say this, they might say they've got your back and it's not real. And what I've learnt is see you've got like a licence on kids outside and your mate comes to you and you class him as your best mate and he says, I will mate, we've got some graft, I will let go. Is that a mate? When he knows you've got a family to look after and he's putting you in a position where you can go to prison so you won't be looking after your family. And this is what I started to think like. I think your logic needs to change on what your loyalty is to people because it's just, they're not for you, they want you with them so you can go and do stuff with them and stuff but they're not there and when you go to jail, think about this for a majority of prisoners now. When you were in jail, how many of your friends have you grew up with or writing to you right now?  But how many of all your friends who you used to hang about with, how many of them writing to you right now? Not many. And I can tell you that now because they're not, they don't care. You're in jail out of sight, out of mind and you're going to jail because you're trying to impress them. You want to impress everyone and restate your criminal. And then when you're going to jail within a year you forgot about. No one wants to know.  They're stuck in their thing for now until it's time. But that's the only message I can say is just look at who's writing to you right now and you'll see who your pals are and you'll see you don't have many.  Do you feel as if you get used a lot, Shane? 100%. For example, like I've just said, no-one would write to me for years and years on end. A year before I'm getting out, suddenly I'm getting all these letters off all my friends and family telling me all the problems about how such and such went round and did this to them. And I just started thinking you haven't wrote to me in seven years. Now I've got a year left. Suddenly you're writing and you're telling me problems because they want me to get out, you see, because I'm known as being a nutter and they want me to go and sort the problems out. That's enough friends. Well, if they wrote me all the way through my eight year sentence, I'm fair enough. But that's what I just realised are not your true friends. Like one of my family members before when I got out, my wife felt pregnant and my cousin got done in.  He said, I've got done in. I would come round, what are you doing for us? I was like, I've got a lass who's pregnant. Went to their house, me had his house a couple of doors after. A couple of days after she went, oh, how come you didn't sort the lad out? I said, I've got a lass who's pregnant. She went, well, I would have visited you wouldn't I? And I just thought you selfish. Said like I'm going to leave a pregnant wife out to deal with it and bring her own kid up because you wanted me to go and do some of that. And I realised then, I thought even my family aren't even for me. They're all for themselves. And then when you don't have the reputation anymore, your friends take them out here. Your family take them out here.  And that's why I realised they all just wanted me round because I was a nutler and I had a reputation so that could all use my name. And that's so I dropped everybody out. Yeah, getting used. That's the scary thing is a lot so many people get used and they don't realise it until it's too late. But at least you've realised that, which is a good thing. You're still young to plan for the future. I know you don't like planning, but just keeping ahead and doing what you can do. Live your best life. Like it can be difficult, especially in this environment, but fair play for your change. Byrna, would you like to finish up on anything, Shane? No, just you can change. You know what I mean? And I was the worst. It's that I was described. And I'm not saying this to big myself up because I'm not, but I'm just making a point as I was described as one of the most the six most dangerous prisoners in the UK. And for me to go from that to where I am now, if I can do it, you can do it. You've just got to put your mind into it. You've just got to think I've had enough of this, no way. I want to prove people wrong, want to do this, I'm going to do that. And just try and try a totally different life. Biggest mistake for me is wasting all that life in jail.  You're not educated. You've never had a job.  When you finally do change, it's 10 times harder for you. And so it's just, do you know what I mean? It's just hard. It's just you don't want to be at that point where you regret your life. You don't want to be at that point where you're sitting there thinking, oh no, why didn't I just do this all that time back? And you can do it right now.  I've got my mom, I've got my dad to look after, and you know, and think of what you do to them.   How do you think that feels to them? It's crazy. And when I was doing this, and he's the one for people who love the money, as I was doing this course and one of the questions they asked me on the course is, if you were to give your child a choice, have 20 million pound on Christmas day or have your dad for Christmas or have your daddy with you, which one do you think the kids are always going to choose? And it's always going to be your dad.  So as a parent, why can't you choose to be with them? Instead of taking your risks and in your risk, especially when you're selling drugs, destroying other kids and destroying other families while you're at it, because that's another thing I disagree with.  I hear that, I get it, he does this. Burgles houses. I would never harm a child. I would never do this to a woman. But see drug dealers know what they don't realise. They do that every single day. Not directly, but they're doing it. Destroying families, destroying kids and having a good upbringing because the man's full of drugs and destroying society, but it's okay because I'm not directly doing it, but your actions are causing that. So you're hitting baggads because they're going on burgling and you call them scumbags, yet they're baggads because you were putting that gear on the street to making baggads in the first place. And that's what, you know, anyway. But that's still the main thinking as well, where you've got that main set where you're ready to kill, that drug dealers have got that main set where they're just wanting to make money, thinking that they want to provide for their family, not realising the destruction they're causing behind the scenes. It's just that some people wake up, like every drug dealer I've ever known, people that were active, they never get anywhere. And that's just facts.  You spoke earlier you wanted to be a gangster, but the real gangsters are the one with suits and fucking... That's sitting behind the scenes making their money and life is a weird thing, but do you know what, brother? For coming on the day and telling your story Shane, I thoroughly enjoyed it and I look forward to seeing what you do for the future. Yeah, thank you. God bless you brother. God bless.


Yeah, so we want we've won a long time ago, right? Capitalism works socialism doesn't All you have to do is look to your the northern border and see what's happening in Venezuela as if we needed one more example of the complete Misery caused by socialism everywhere. It's tried every time it's tried no matter the continent No matter the century no matter the decade Socialism fails and the opposite is true as well Every time capitalism is tried to the extent that it is tried It succeeds you free up China a little bit and boom wealth is created You free up India wealth is created and of course as I mentioned before 300 years ago before capitalism we were all dirt poor all of us were dirt poor and Capitalism made us relatively rich. It extended life by more than double maybe triple It's made life so much better So not only have we won the economic argument with great economists like Mises and Hayek and Friedman and others But we've won the existential question history proves Unequivocally that socialism states is and collectivism are failures and the freedom in capitalism works on our enormous successes and nobody cares Nobody cares Everybody wants to be a socialist nobody wants to be a capitalist everybody wants to be poor Everybody wants to die of starvation Everybody wants to be oppressed Everybody wants to have no freedom That's what socialism represents, but they all want it somehow next time not to result in that So I think we should all ask ourselves why why is socialism so attractive.  So why is it successful? Why do people love it? and my argument I'm Rans I'm Rans argument was that people love socialism because it's consistent with the mall ethical beliefs that we hold as a culture We think sacrifice is noble. Well, the socialists Want to sacrifice you? in the name of nobility if You believe that suffering is good for the common good for the public interest Then socialists are very good at suffering. They have fine-tuned the art of suffering They can make you suffer all the time in the name of the common good as Long as we believe that the common good the public interest other people's well-being is the moral standard of a good life of Being virtuous of being noble of being good Then socialism wins every single time every single time The real revolution that we need is not an economic or political revolution Those come afterwards, you know people say people say politics is downstream from culture It's become a very popular thing to say right politics is downstream politics is downstream culture, which is true But what's culture downstream from It's downstream from ethics. It's downstream from morality. It's downstream from philosophy If you want to change the culture and therefore change the politics You have to change the moral beliefs of the people you have to get rid of this altruistic, and I'm sorry if I offend anybody Christian morality of sacrifice of Altruism of the idea that other people's happiness is what's important And we have to replace it with something positive because just being anti is not good enough We have to replace it with our morality and nobility of virtue of self-interest what I ran called Rational long-term self-interest a morality that says that no the purpose of life is your own happiness, but not You know, whatever you feel like doing whatever that the moment strikes you whatever the emotions drive you know What in reason in rationality? Really leads to long-term flourishing to be rational to be honest have integrity To be just towards other people to treat people the way they deserve Right not to sacrifice, but to trade Why would you sacrifice sacrifice by nature is a win-lose proposition? If somebody doesn't lose it's not a sacrifice if it's win-win, what do we call it? Trade I will take win-win over win-lose any day because win-lose always turns into Lose lose and I don't want to lose So what we should build is a structure a moral structure on the idea that human relationships should be about win win That human relations should be should be about individuals pursuing their own self-interest and interacting with one another Because it's in your self-interest that the fundamental moral purpose in your life Should be to figure out how to live the best damn life you can live for you Now if you had that morality if you wanted to live a good life if you cared about your own flourishing Then what kind of world would you want to live in what kind of politicians would you want to elect? Politicians would tell you what you can eat and what you can't eat what business you should open and what business you shouldn't open How much you should pay your employees and how much you're not allowed to pay your employees?  You don't believe in authorities Dictating to you cursing you Individuals who want to flourish as individuals want to be free Freedom is a consequence Freedom is a consequence of the idea of individualism Freedom is a consequence of the morality of individualism of the idea that what matters the only thing that matters politically is the individual and his ability to lead a flourishing life for himself and Individuals who believe that don't succumb to authority. Don't choose between left and right They choose freedom and only freedom the only standard by which we should measure politicians is the extent to which they will Reduce the amount of coercion imposed of us and ideally reduce that amount of coercion imposed on us to Zero because we freedom means as As as link said the absence of coercion We should strive towards absence of coercion not tinkering with regulations not reducing regulations eliminating regulations eliminating controls eliminating restrictions For that just returning you need a morality of freedom a morality of individualism I'm a reality of self-interest and we need to reject and this is why it's hard. This is why it's so damn hard Because again, we won the economics. We won history. We want everything But what makes it hard is that we have to reject a moral code that's being instituted among us for 2,000 years and is ingrained in our souls and we need to take it and put it in the trash bin of history and Adopt something new something better something that's consistent with capitalism and freedom