This week's episode is sponsored by Change. Change is an online mentoring program that teaches people with no experience how to create a real profitable online business and e-commerce. I have been working with Ryan at Change for a few years now and attended many events and got to meet the amazing community of like-minded people. These guys are the best of the best. The support these guys offer is personal, no bots or employees. There's no experience needed but like anything in life it takes time as it's a real business with real results. For more information go check out Ryan on Instagram at RyanGiB and he will guide you through the steps to help build a successful business. You can now follow me on all my social media platforms to find out who my latest guest will be and don't forget to click the subscribe button and the notifications bell so you are notified for when my next podcast goes live. Any different than I did when I was in my 20s? The only difference is things are a little bit looser than they used to be. A little bit saggier but yeah I'm loving it. I'm a big believer in it. Age is just a number and yeah I'm looking forward to the next 50 years. A reality star entrepreneur, a woman of many talents but before we get into everything I always like to go back to the start of my guests. Get a bit of understanding about your doing, where you grew up, how it all began. Yeah so I was born at Hope Hospital which is now the Salford Royal. 1973, 16th of July. I am an older child. My mum and dad are amazing by the way and before I go on about my parents I always say now being a mother of four myself. If I can be half the parents that my parents have been to me then I'm happy. So my dad is the youngest of 20. What? Yeah 20, his Irish family and he's the youngest. A lot of his siblings have passed away now and we've got a very big family because one of my dad's brothers has got 10 children. We've got a huge, huge family. My mum's the eldest of seven and yeah my dad lost his mother when he was 11 and his dad passed away when he was 15 and I remember my dad telling me that he didn't know a joke until he was 15 because he only ever got the top of my granddad's egg and so when his father passed away he tells me some really, my dad's my inspiration as well. My dad's like completely self-taught with his education, with his business acumen, everything. Like I said he went into the merchant navy when he was 15. He couldn't read or write. He actually tells me the story about when he used to really want a black pair of wellingtons. He used to sleep in the drawer in the lounge until he got too big to not sleep in the drawer because my Nana had so many kids and they didn't have obviously enough bedrooms back in the day and so he was desperate for a black pair of wellingtons. He was the only child in the school with a white pair because his sister worked for LucasAid. Anyway my granddad passed away. My dad went in the merchant navy. Like I said he couldn't read, couldn't write, came home, got a job on the door. Oh before that he met my mum. Decided when he met my mum he would leave the merchant navy and then got himself a job on the doors and my mum was a typist and then she worked at Little Olten Labour Club for 20 years, a barmaid. I remember actually being when I was younger. My dad used to work for a fencing company called JB Fencing and my mum, my dad would come home from work then I would get my pyjama so my mum would cut my tea. She would go to work and then my dad would get me out of bed to jump in his white van to go and pick my mum up from Little Olten Labour Club and I always used to get like a packet of pork scratchings at the end of the night and then just somehow fall back to sleep in my bed. But my best memory of my childhood which I've had an amazing childhood I feel so privileged. Like I said my parents have been amazing is I remember when I was about seven my dad asking me how to spell soldier because he couldn't read and write to the point where my mum had to write on a pad what the symbols meant and I calculated that plus minus divide. My dad now reads four books a week. He's got a very successful business. My dad's a millionaire and it's all self-taught and he's the most educated, intelligent, switched on human being whether it's grammar whether it's maths whether it you know he's so switched on and it's all self-taught.   She's made me really independent. My dad used to grab me I had my first job when I was 12 years old. I worked at Parsons and Market on a fruit and vegetable because I wanted to buy my mum and dad a present for Christmas. So I worked for six weeks before Christmas. I used to get picked up at 4 a.m. I used to work in Parsons Market. I hated it because I used to get my nails dirty. I've always had a bit of OCD with cleanliness.  So I did another two weeks and managed to save enough money up to buy them and then I left but that was my first like sort of experience with work but my mum and dad have always made me get out of bed, get jobs if you want to do something they've always encouraged me in everything I did. So my whole life growing up not my parents were never big on education when I say that they were running their own businesses and I didn't do my school work they won't really know because when I got back from school they were never there they're at work they didn't get back till about six but what they did they always used to say if my dad got barred from going to parents' evening because he once attacked the history teacher said that I struggle with concentration and he's like distracted and distracts others and he started going what the fuck do you know? How do you know what my daughter is? Who are you to tell me?  My mum always used to say to them is she cheeky? Is she rude? And they'd say no she's pleasant. Well the rest is your problem but they were never really keeping around me education so I ended up leaving school when I was 15 without a qualification didn't have a GCSE. In fact I went into the mock exams and wrote dawn was here on the table and got caught and got flunked out of the hall. I'm not proud of that but my parents did do though they gave me I can walk into any room and I never feel intimidated in any situation. I'm super confident, I can somehow always always talk people around to my way of thinking. So I guess when I got older and had children of my own I think for me the most important is to make sure your children are polite, make sure they've got a good heart and good feeling about other people's feelings, make them street wise but also especially because of Ashley gives them a great education so that's what I've tried to do with my children to sort of live up to my parents but with the added education. Yeah I think as older you get you start to realise school's limit your mental capacity where you can take things in life and where you see the world just because you're distracted easy and don't listen and not really interested in school it doesn't mean you'll never do anything in your life. There's so many successful people now who didn't learn how to read or write and weren't good at school who then become multi-millionaires, multi-millionaires because they've learnt from outside of school so I think your dad's probably, listen there's not many people do it who educate themselves after it because they're so caught up in trying to make something or try to survive but fair play on for trying to understand life and try to make something not just for these misses but for yourself and be a good father for me that's so important for any father is trying, we'll all talk about alpha and masculinity now when people, everybody's just talking shit the most alpha thing you can do is look after your family, no matter if it's just fucking buying them a loaf of bread and beans for them to eat from sitting eating five course meals it doesn't matter as long as you're providing for them for me you're winning. Well I just think as well I think the biggest thing my parents taught me a lot of people especially being on the Real Housewives on TV a lot of people when they first meet me don't really like me and I get that but most people when they get to know me actually think I'm a nice person because I'm quite hard on the outside I'm very soft on the inside and I guess my mum and my dad the biggest thing they taught me growing up which I've definitely instilled in my children or both me and Ashley have is it's about caring about other people's feelings not being a bad person if someone's upset if they've done something wrong and they say sorry and they're genuinely sorry, forgiveness and being an understanding people's feelings and appreciating what you've got. So just going back to my parents I remember back so I've had times when I was a lot younger and I remember they used to bring the Brown book out and he used to terrify me because that's the one time my parents really argued and I never knew what this Brown book was but what it was is the Household Finances and they used to scream at each other and it's the one time where I used to dread the Brown book coming out and then this is obviously when my dad had a job we moved around houses quite a lot we lived in Asley to start so we originally started off in the little hulton then we moved to Asley but then obviously I didn't understand this when I was younger but we moved out of Asley because my parents were getting into a financial situation then we moved to Berry and we went to the house and I went to another school and then eventually we then moved to Bolton I was about eight at the time and I'm laughing actually I just moved to Bolton and we lived on a private estate and then two seconds down there was a council estate was on Hunger Hill and back in the day you could let your dog out the front door your dogs would roam your cats would roam your kids would roam you could play Kirby you'd go out at eight in a summer holiday and say to your mum dad goodbye you were gone all day so off I went in my chopper to find new friends and I met all these kids on the council estate they were still friends of mine today but it's so funny how life is and I told you about confidence I was so desperate to make friends that I told everyone on the estate that we had a tiger a monkey a rhino and a giraffe and that I was like the pipe pipe with them I must have had 25 kids I wanted to be friends of mine so I brought them to the semi-detached house that we lived on on in West Orton anyway I was like taking them on the guard and saying oh you know my dad's part of the animals you'd have to come back tomorrow so my mum was mortifying you cannot go and tell ice everybody you can't tell lies to tell people that you've got all these animals if they want to be your friend they'll be your friend so the following day I go back I still don't listen to my mum I tell them I've got all these animals fortunately my mum was out but my dad was in and I just told him all they have to wait outside for a sec waiting to say dad I've told everyone I've told him I've got all these animals he went don't worry about it kid I've always been a daddy's girl he went out he went listen kids the animals are asleep but if you come back next week if I've not sold them I'll let you all see them and to this day they still think I told the animals because my dad always have me back my mum would always try and teach me morally but in my dad's eyes I could do no wrong it doesn't matter what I did he would defend me and he still does that today what did you do after school so yeah so I did modelling as a young teenager sort of from being 12 to 14 and then I said to you I left school when I was 15 but I think I was about 22 before my dad realized I didn't even do my GCSEs because back in the day it wasn't it was compulsory but they sort of didn't chase you if you didn't want to go to school you didn't need to so my mum said if you can leave school then you need to get a job so I managed to get a job at the Royal Exchange in Manchester for a German Jewish lady and it was it was a place called La Linnia and it was in the Royal Exchange downstairs it was a posh design and market stall basically and I could sell snow to an Eskimo and literally back in I was like 15 and I think she ended up paying me like £180 a week which was a fortune even a year after and a lot my friends left school they were on £28.50 YTS and I used to have this knack where we'd get a lot of travelism or we'd get people with a lot of cash and a sort of gauge what they liked and what they didn't like I first find out the first name so it'd be Tracy and I'd be like I trace it and when I give them a set of clothes to put on I could just see in their face I didn't quite like it I used to pretend to look at the manager and go listen don't tell her I've told you but it's awful get it off and they go yeah you're right oh that one's nice they trust me straight away I'll be selling honestly I'd sell so many clothes then when I was 16 I was approached off a model agency in London to move to London so I handed in my notice and and she actually offered me a manager's position in a new shop which wasn't in the Royal Exchange it was actually on King Street because she was that was the biggest seller in the shop but obviously then I decided no I'm gonna go to London so my mum which was a very brave decision allowed me to go to London and move in a model flat at 16 years old so then off I went to move to London how was that feeling 16 young never felt scared feared never never felt young felt like I feel today and I always have done even like I always have felt I've never felt like scared or intimidated or I haven't I just you know I think much sets you really want I feel the same as then as I do now do you get that from your dad no confidence I get from my mom your mom confident my mom's like the most the strongest woman no forget that she's not the strongest woman she's the strongest human being I've ever met in my life the only person stronger than that is me now how was your dad like that is because my daughter's 13 and even thinking about her going to London at 16 for me I don't give a fuck what job it is she's not going I wouldn't I get that and that's how I would feel today with your dad feel and there's a support of obviously yeah so yeah so he's like with my parents got a great marriage but if my mom thinks it's okay and it's cool my dad'll go with it and she came down I didn't go and move to London and just live on my own I went with a model agents that had a flat where we all lived so it wasn't just me it was like a big group of girls I don't know if you know but she's one of the girls that lived with at the time she ended up being a TV presenter called Jane middle miss yeah yeah so she lived with us and then so we started doing all these modeling assignments going for castings and then me and Jane I like being tired in Jane's quite I've not seen it for years but in fact I'm not seeing it since we're party company but and we decided we didn't want to stay in the model flat with a group of people so we then moved to Stratum and me and her rented a could we have to move further out and we rented a flat in Stratum and we both got a job in a pub she got a job on the high street in one pub and I got a job in the other so we could make 12 quid a night in the pub which that was enough if we work the pub five days we could pay the rent and then the modeling money then was just a bonus you could buy clothes and and yeah we live together me and Jane for about a year and then she ended up getting quite friendly with the landlord of the pub and then she moved in with him I then got really friend with another friend of mine Carl who had one hour he had daddy's arm amputated and he was on the dole and just friends not nothing nothing sexual just just friends by the way just friends well I thought well you'll be great to move in with me because if you're on the dole I'll just get the rent every week whether you work in the pub or not so I did another year of that then we moved to Bayswater and they eventually moved my dad in the end ended up saying he'll put some money in and I moved to Chelsea so funny story about Chelsea it was right next to where the Conrad used to be I don't know what the hotel's called now it's the main hotel in Chelsea Harbour then I met another friend who was a modern called Lisa nice and she was from quite a wealthy family in Suffolk and so my dad chipped in a bit her dad paid all her rent I started to put some of my money in and then we had a beautiful apartment there and then one day we had the ground floor apartment I just come out of the shower I have my head in the towel and those these we used to always get lots of what they called like groupies and fans because you just get big star staying at the Conrad at the back in the day I'm going back to 1990 and there was screaming fans outside because Madonna's here or whatever this particular week it's guns and roses are here and I love it I love rock music some guns and roses are there brilliant some on my balcony have a look some ground floor see them all all the them all going in and out of the limousines and stuff anyway I went in the shower then I could hear my flatmates screaming I had off going oh you know anyway I came out put my dress and gown and got a towel on my head I go in there and there's Axel Rose and Matt Sorum that stood in the middle of my lounge and I would anyway long story short when a couple of nights out with them nothing happened by the way but then became really good friends of Matt Sorum but then not long after that I met Ashley I went back I left I'd gone home for the weekend to see my family from London and where I used to live in West Horton and I said to you had the council stay opposite a hunger hill there was a pub and it was called Tavern on the hill and it was the place to be everyone and anyone went to the tavern so my first experience of the tavern was when I was 15 and my mum would never let me drink it was my mum's was teeth total and she still is today actually she'll say odd drink but very rarely and she was very very much against she's always given my freedom but I used to promise I wouldn't drink alcohol so I've said to what kind of going to tavern with all my friends this is before I'm Ashley and she said no you're not going in the tavern you're 15 I'd say okay but then obviously you then tell you want me somewhere else but my mum always finds something out so she found out I'd gone in the tavern so she marched in the tavern grabbed me I was panicked I had a diet coke in my hand because I always thought she ever sees me drinking when my mum says no it means no there's no no it might maybe yes is yes no is no marched me out put pulled me to the dorm and said look she's 15 so do not let her back in here again they were like no we won't anyway the following week I went snuck in again and she found out the dorm had come running in because I got a friendly with them they were like your mum's here get out of the pan door so I ended up in the end she realized I was going in there and she was like well you can go in there because my dad it was mad that said to look all her friends are going in there he told not to drink she's not drinking so let her go in there so she did as long as she had control of everything my mum but I was 14 so she let me I used to have to be in before it was dark I mean when it's winter it's dark at four o'clock I'm like mum it's four o'clock and it's dark she didn't care I had to be in when that first light street lamp came on I had to be in the house so in the end she finally gave in and bought me a pony and I got into horses because that was a way of her keeping me drinking cider with my friends on the park it kept me occupied and it lasted till again so I moved to London till I was 16 so you met your husband Ash at 17 came home yeah just as you meet we met in the tavern where my mum dragged me out of so I come home for the weekend got older some of my friends in Bolton so I had the best time in Bolton I spent a lot of people think I'm from Bolton actually from Salford but I spent my from being eight to senior school I love Bolton I'm sorry because I'm diverting on to the actual story so I was quite popular at school very gobby very chatty like I am now nothing's changed then always a leader a lot of fights at school these tough girls coming from different I used to have a best friend called June Brown we go who's my best friend all through school and she was a year older than me and they used to get girls coming from different schools to fight me in June because it's me Auntie Lisa my mom sister that made me have a fight when I was six I mean it sounds a bit ridiculous now I'm going back to my upbringing they said you have to have a fight I said well I don't want to fight but you live in Little Olten you have to be able to stick up for yourself and again this was like teaching me to be strong in life really does and she's like you know you just grab hold of the hair pull them down if you get them down neem in the face then when you've once you've need them you've won walk away fast forward to me come in moving to Bolton I then met June Brown who again was a year older than me the only probably person apart from my mother that's got big hands and I have because I have genuinely got hands like any other look the size them the huge and we became a mum was a mum of parents from Jamaica we became absolutely inseparable and from being nine till she killed herself and when we were when she was 23 we were inseparable and if anyone was going to pick on me we'd jump into each other so someone wanted to fight with June they have to take me on as well and everybody tried to make us fight for all those years in school she spent every weekend sleeping at my house I used to stick around a pony when she couldn't ride and she'd fall off it we were the we were inseparable and then unfortunately years later she got into drugs and and she hung herself but who was that for you and your phone do that God I'm so now and I'll come on to that I'll come on to that in a second and for years I was terrible because I saw because I met Ashley I tried to help June she got into heroin I tried to help her I was in London living I was making money and I was sending her money trying to help her but I said I can't give you money if you if you can use it for drugs and she she eventually got clean she had a little boy Fidel who was beautiful so her and Fidel used to come and stay with me nationally Norwich when he was the footballer she'd be so impressed with the house I had and dad proud of me she's having really proud of you it's the bio little boy stuff and she ended up getting a job but she'd when she was on the drug she she started to steal and it's as daft as going in Sainsbury's and stealing a bottle of whiskey because she could sell it to feed a habit and there was this one policeman that had him for over sick of arrested and she obviously got aggressive with him she had a they had some kind of like animosity this one policeman anyway eventually she got off the drugs she got clean and she had great parents as well the mom's fantastic like one of her sisters lawyer and she got a job in Storm Seal which was a winter company back then still around this today and I never forget she ran me and it was when Ashley was playing for Leicester sorry Norwich and she said I've lost my job I said I've lost your job said because the policeman's been in and said do you realize she's got criminal record which today that couldn't happen you know obviously it's against the law to not divulge that you've got a criminal record but she'd been working there for eight months she been clean she'd not been on drugs a little boy was happy her mom was delighted and they but they said to her because you haven't told us at the outset on your interview that you've got criminal record because she was locked up for nickin from Sainsbury's they said we can have to let you go but we'll give you a glowing reference and she was crying on the phone so she was like I can't leave the house so it's like but it's the one thing I regret in my life I said June you can't come here because at the time my husband was getting more well-known in football and I was thinking God she's been arrested and I selfishly thought myself and my my own image right for my best friend anyway and three weeks later she went to Cyprus I think it was and I got the calls she hung herself yeah but again it's hard because I was the same mom could get murdered and I was younger and I was going through changes I used to party all the time with everybody but when you start making changes and and I was started feeling good life you kind of don't want anybody not a jeopardize it but you just want to stay in the straight and narrow but some things we can have that no I did I regret this the biggest regret so for that yeah yeah because forget actually being a football or any kind of bullshit football press or whatever that was a friend that was been friends since I was nine and would have would have died for me and I feel like I really let her down so anyway I got the call took me years to go over it and then it was really funny because like I went to the funeral it was horrific I traveled in the car with a family it was to see a little barn just think I did I'd feel like I should have got to nourish with me I should have helped more I should have done some I kept going back and every time I go back I'd have lunch with them she was slowing I'm like I can see her on heroin June I can't keep helping you and then and then I actually I had a nursing home at the time which I've not gotten to my business things I've been flitting sorry I've gone from the past in my life and where the nursing home was at nighttime it come alive with prostitutes and I'll never forget once getting in the Mercedes and I looked out and I was like oh my god it's June but it was June but half the weight she was very thin I grabbed her up in my car she promised it was just we were just backwards and forwards all the time and it was so sad because she was in the most amazing person but that policeman just left her alone maybe things would have been different she'd got a job she wasn't stealing go and find another criminal that's doing wrong and leave her alone she's got a job obviously June being June she must have wound him up that much that he felt it wanted to go in and jeopardize the fact that she got a job and that was the that was the end of June really it was it was weeks later she was dead how much do you not play on it but it just shows you and because for my best friends in the past and everybody chooses different lifestyles I've kind of blessed to I've been a bloomer to being blessed to then try and make some for my life but friends who are much wiser than me smarter than me who then passed away and do you ever look at that and think how lives then go in different directions yeah but again for me I do because I could have gone in a different direction could you have ended up there with a different kind of relationship well it wasn't a relationship for me June's problem started way before I started my relationship with Ashley I have amazing parents and I'm not saying June's parents were amazing because they were but they've always my mom's always give me leeway I can always go to my mom and tell her anything so I don't feel I've ever got any secrets and she's never really been judgmental but in a weird way and I go back to even when I was a child when my dad started to make money he got an XR4 I before anyone had ever seen one we had the first answer a machine we had the first video record I remember going to primary school telling everyone I've got this thing where you can put a tapered and you can press record and it'll record your cartoon and we were always the first to have everything later on in my life when I was like from eight because my dad ended up starting his own business but what my parents were amazing at is I had more than anyone in my school from from a material point of view I had a cap a coat I had kick trainers give cashews Adidas kick Farah pants I can remember you know I went on every school holiday because I wanted to meet because I was another child have the experiences of going on school trips but somehow with everything I had she never made me think I expected anything she was the best at making a Christmas who's I really wanted a flute I never forgot what to play the flute but I never thought was going to get a flute I never thought was gonna get Commodore 64 the year after I used to like churning my stomach with excite I'm thinking I wonder if I'm what I'm gonna get and somehow she made me still appreciate and not expect things the way she did it and I never thought I want a flute so I'm gonna get a flute I never thought I'd get one but I did she was so good at doing that that I believe later on in life she was the master at being the control control in person in my in my upbringing and as much as I think she'd be letting me do things like go to London she'd always have the eye on me and she'd give me the trust that made me never want to let her down does that make sense so I guess that's why my past that's maybe why my paths were different than June because June's mom was lovely but made my little not quite as strong and June was scared of my mom there was nobody not every kid in the school scared of my mom even though she was nice still today every all my friends today all my daughters friends the old Colin Nana Lynn Nana Lynn has a big presence in everyone's life I think a lot of parents are missing that now not to be direct and beat your kids but a lot of kids are walking over parents and I feel as if a lot of kids nowadays have got more say with the parents I think parents should be a lot more stricter the parents have lived that life see I with my children I do exactly the same as my mum did it's very simple I'll never make a promise and break a promise but I'll never make a threat and it'll be an empty threat so if I you get these parents that say and I think it it goes so many people say to me today you're so lucky you're four children are amazing that is nothing to do with look the reason the children are amazing is because me and Ashley have been amazing parents so we've always been like what the way I'm with my kids if I promise them if you do that you'll get that whatever happens I'll get nuts I've made a promise but if I say to them do that again and this will happen I don't say do that again and this will happen do that again and I'll say it once if they do again it'll happen so they know it used to be it's funny it's hard to say on it in the interview now we've all got the truthful my mum used to go if you ever ever do that again you get a slap on your head for every word so when Dalby and Taylor Wenger they get a slap didn't smack me the next two children because it back then and people smack the children they don't smack them anymore and actually now I remember never forget once I think it was Darby she was about 12 or something and smacked her and I'd said oh I'd said to her right you've no Facebook you know this she was coming in my room going please we'll just smack me and give me my Facebook back so you get to learn that at a certain age you've got to follow up your threats through and that once somebody knows and I've got I know it sounds daft it's not about it sounds a bit weird this it's not coincidence that before dogs in Dubai are well behaved because they all know there's a consequence if you don't go out the door when I tell you there's gonna be a consequence so them consequences never happened because the children or animals or your husband I'm a big mutter in life and my mum's saying a problem's there to be solved and you only get what you put up with and if you put up with it you'll get it and if you don't you won't so I don't pull with anything whether that's my children my dogs my husband my friends my work colleagues it doesn't have to be a nasty way but if I've got a problem I air it and it's done I'm not somebody that's gonna sit and then be I don't really like the way they're doing that I just address everything and I nip it in the bud yeah you've got two especially a nice day and age so 17 ash 31 years later stole together how did the relationship start so he'd love this he'd love to be here now Ashley and I'm gonna have to be honest okay so I was seeing a guy called Chris Jones and he's the only person I've ever let mess me about so he used to always cheat on me so I was already living in London he was a boyfriend I'd had for on and off for a year or two so then I said to him right okay so rather than be disappointed and you keep cheating on me if I'm in London you see you want to see but when I'm back we're exclusive what better opportunity can you have as a man so I'd come back and while I was back physically in front of my own face he was cheating again so anyway I went out on the Sunday I was mortified but he had he had one over me all the time so it makes you want somebody more but it did then so I said to my friend it was actually one of my friends that I said to you I've met a group of friends in the council state Melanie Lark who's on herself as well believe it or Jacqueline Lark her sister so I called on my friends because I say friends to them for the rest of my life for the rest of my school years I said you know I'm home from London should we go in the tavern well when I was 17 my dad bought me an MR2i that was unheard of people where I was from where I lived he just didn't have an MR2i it was like having a Ferrari it was a T-bar the new shape two doors oh yeah blue but the new shapes that was rounder at the front so rock up in the MR2i he's only had two seats I used to fit about five my friends in one seat it was literally a two minute you'd all be like squeezing the head but it was literally a two second drive to the tavern we said we'll go in the tavern Sunday night busiest night the week didn't drink at the time so I've just got my diet coat my friends are all dancing it's heaving and I look across the room and I just think well I could see this lad looking I was looking at him and he was with a group of friends I said to my friends he's about the best looking in here tonight but didn't really fancy it wasn't thinking oh god he's gorgeous I just thought he's about the best looking anyway that was that never got talking to him got in the car park and we got talking in the car park and he was in an XR2i which again as a flash car for somebody you know people have XR2i's in them days anyway we got to chat him and I said to him oh we exchanged numbers and that was that and this is the bit Ashley loves so that was that I didn't contact him went back and end up getting back with Chris and Chris cheated on me again so I thought you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna ring that ladder met the other week in the tavern only to piss Chris off so that's the bit Ashley loves the fact that I rang him so I rang him up when we agreed to meet so we said oh for some reason I don't remember why but I got my friend to drop me off even though I had me on car so I went in there we had a couple of diet cokes we got chatting he said I'll drop you off home got in his XR2i and when I got in his car someone had left a note on his wind screen wiper with a number and it pulled it out ready screwed it up when he's through it where my feet were in there in the foot well some sat there thinking yeah he's a player why is not thrown out of the window why is he threw it in the foot well because when I'm gone he's going to open it up and wringer obviously a year a year months later I realized it was so against throwing rubbish out of the window so that's why I didn't throw the window and what I didn't tell you is when he came to meet me before when he walked into the pub I ended up getting there first I thought fucking hell I do not remember you looking like that last time I seen you a few months ago I was my jaw dropping I went he is fit and he was like I just didn't remember him looking like that I don't know why I was looking at weeks ago I was like wow he's so I played cool and yeah he dropped me off did he give me a kiss that night I think I can't remember but then he has to take me out again but it was always on a weekend and I was thinking well I told him I lived in London he said to me at the time he said I'm living in Leicester and I'm staying in Diggs but my dad's in the building industry so the only place I've heard the word Diggs is if you're in the building industry and you're staying away for maybe two weeks and you put your staff in Diggs so then we got to see it so we'd usually meet up on the weekend I go back to London he go back to Leicester then we'd meet up and then we started meeting up in then he's oh and then I said to it was about six weeks in then we went from the tavern to the discotheque royal in Manchester then I used to get butterflies when I seen him and and then about six weeks later I said when you're finishing this job what is it you do because we didn't even think to ask what he did because he's just sitting in Diggs he's all my footballer and I'm at Leicester City and that was but I didn't ever tell you usually that's the first thing you hear no I didn't really because it was so fair I was just more interested in guessing him I wouldn't really ask I had a better car than him anyway so didn't really need didn't really need I had a Rolex watch he didn't in fact I bought his first Rolex watch when he was 21 how old was he um so I was I met Ashley not the very first time I can't remember when we first met but the first proper date where we had a full-on snog and everything and I met him in Manchester was on his 21st birthday actually on the on his birthday so it's the 24th of November so two young kids in this day and age is more divorced than ever how do you keep a successful marriage together what's the ingredient so for me I think um I really fancied Ashley I still fancied well actually people said you fancy Ashley today I actually don't know whether I do fancy him or I don't because I don't look at him and think you're really fit I look at me and think you're my person you're mine and I don't know if I'm with anybody else but I think I must fancied I do do I do fancy him he's a handsome man he's very handsome well put it this way when we go near him I am a nightmare I am so so possessive like really possessive my kids go mad at me my kids laugh at me actually especially now like with my girls and especially with Taylor being with Rianne you got a lot of girls hanging around they more laugh at me with girls dancing with Ash even though he's the dad because I would go I'm so jealous Ashley always said for years on you go to girls that came up to only play football I'm really sorry I'm not being rude it was just him really badly because my wife's a nutter so can you just go and talk to somebody else feels terrible obviously now obviously you get football career confident doing well really he's loving you is it flat now that he's retired and I am still a bit sometimes I'm still a bit yeah he was never ever ever possessive for me but he definitely likes me going out less than being with him we don't really go out singly anymore we never have done to be honest I would say I look at Ashley's parents we're absolutely amazing his parents are so lovely and we're not spoken about more in Terry because they're a big influence on my life as well who saw just the amazing you know from the day I met them the beautiful people his dad's again self-made like my father um his his mum's his mum is like Elizabeth Taylor she's the most elegant beautiful elegant classy lady that became she became that my second mum um I'm the only person that has ever took back to meet his parents I'm the only girl that ever got introduced to his parents that's when you know it's true love yeah um and they must be lookers because he's a big handsome bastard both of them are stunning honestly both his parents like his dad's handsome but he looks very much like his mum his mum honestly she's still beautiful today his mum unfortunately now he's in he's got dementia she's got Alzheimer's but um she's incredible and and actually when so I've got so much to tell you honestly man that's cool yeah so I'll take you back to so we met me and Ashley then we started seeing each other then I started staying in Leicester and then I didn't know this until later on in his mum told me his mum and dad had gone stay with him and he won't let me he'd make an excuse up and I wouldn't stay that that weekend and he'd say he's got something on but he's obviously had his mum dad there he didn't tell me he didn't want his mum dad knowing I was saying but she said I used to see like packets of tights and they had hairspray so I knew he had he was seeing somebody then obviously introducing his parents um and his mum and dad have been you know his dad's 91 now and his mum's 87 I think they're still together my parents are still together and I think you know we've both come from very strong marriages from our parents that people used to say to me you get married you're only 21 but I met the right person at 21 I could wait till I'm 30 not meet me the right person I didn't want to be with anybody else like for a couple of weeks after we met in the tavern for for the real date we've been together ever since and you know we're just like we we work together we've got quite an unusual marriage because we work together we go out together we eat together we're together 24 hours a day mainly seven days a week it would only be the odd hour in a week where we'd go for a meeting or I nip somewhere occasionally I'd go out with friends and you'll go out another time with his friends but in general we go out together and we go out with couples we we we cry we laugh we we share our problems we run our business he is like I can't describe like it's my absolute soul mate is is is incredible honestly I'm quite he's very pessimistic I'm very optimistic and we're in business I take all the awards I'm the face of everything Ashley sweeps up all the shit and solves all the problems I just you know he always says I get wheeled out when there's a problem but he's the sharp one the smart one behind everything and especially because in the public and in front of people I'm quite loud Ashley's very laid back they say oh poor Ashley but let me tell you there's only one person wears the trousers and Ashley wears the trousers in the house you know he's the man of the house but we do do everything 50-50 so you know it's 50% decisions with everything we do we do it 50-50 we we share every problem every happiness and he makes me laugh we laugh our head off we've got a great sex life everything but that's the way relationship should be in my it's everything he's but he's my bestest friend yeah I feel as if everybody's kind of divided and everybody's apart and I think as a family it should be united it should be dealing with the fucking situations and the problems together and also celebrating the good times do you feel as if because it has mum and dad we're still together and your mum and dad you then see how relationships should be working no I look at them and think I don't think that's why ours works what I'm saying is when I look at their relationship I don't I just think it's a I think you have to meet the right person to start me and Ashley with the right people we're very we're opposites but we gel and it just so happens that his parents have got an amazing marriage my parents have got an amazing marriage um so we've got good foundations and again nothing's perfect there's been issues in our marriages along the way where we've had to work very hard and we've solved solved our issues but we don't give up our marriages nothing's perfect and there's no marriage no relationship perfect it's getting a lot more perfect now we're getting older oh we used to scrap like our dog and we're younger I threatened to take the dog so we had to put we had a full massive pup you know um we used to fight the first two years when we live together we fight so much and then I always just say I want to be engaged I want to be engaged and he said to me look stop keep asking me to be engaged just because your friends are engaged or you know somebody I'm not just going to get engaged for being engaged when I ask you to marry me it's because I want to get married not because I want to get engaged so then four years after we met he'd moved clubs then I think we was playing at it was it I'm going to get a second he was that no it was a crew it was a crew because we were living with my parents because we were doing a house up at the same time I'm in in Oldham so Valentine's Day comes Ashley doesn't do flowers and stuff he he just thinks they're wasting money and yeah because so how do I have to do that to show you I love you I said because it's Valentine's Day anyway anyway so um he thinks it's a load of bullshit he just thinks it's a load of commercial and he's like I'm like I want flowers so anyway Valentine's Day 1994 with we're living with my mum and dad and um he's playing at crew and I get I get all these red roses I'm like oh my god he's finally bought me flowers so he came back he said we'll go for dinner tonight but at the time I had like a chest infection I'd lost my voice and I really didn't feel well but it was Valentine's Day he said books um whatever it was called the restaurant in West Horton in Italian and then he went to cost me 50 quid them flowers he said I don't know how much they cost I'm just happy he bought me flowers yeah he must have told me that day they cost me 50 pound of flowers it was like stop telling me how much the flowers cost I'm happy he bought me the flowers because he come he went there's five died I went what's the point in buying flowers if you just kind of keep going on about how much they cost anyway at one point because he was pissing me off about these flowers I never actually nearly canceled going out for dinner with him anyway it's like don't go like that don't go like that I'm only joking so we went for dinner I went to this Italian I felt really rough and I was getting a temperature I was like come on I want to go home well since we last went in the tavern all those years before it got a bit rougher it weren't the place to be anymore no one there's that they've been a bit of trouble over the years and fighting so no one really went in there he was going she was going to the tavern for me I was like why do you want to go in the tavern why just let's go home because my parents lived in Lee he was like I want to let's go in the tavern I was like I don't want to go in the tavern please I'm not going to spoil he's not going to tavern went in there had one diet coke got in the car I'm going to go in the car he I could see him smiling looking out the window so I'm thinking I've always seen somebody like Gary Flickcroft or one of his friends that used to go in the tavern as I'm looking I'm thinking who's he's seen so he turned to me and he went I really love you now I'm thinking god I just need to go home I feel really I went I love you too can we go on please he went I can't even say no he still makes me embarrassed today when because he said please he went will you marry me please I went and I'd open the car door and run off I was so embarrassed because I just was not expecting it and I felt I don't know why but I felt really embarrassed but what he did he took me back to the middle of the car park for the day for where we met so when everyone tells me they got engaged in Paris I have to tell the full story otherwise they're going to think I was the right title taking me to the tavern and proposing to me in the car park was nervous well no he just he said please so anyway he drove around the car park got back in I just remember putting me down and he was like you know well well what do you say I was like yeah and I just felt really so we never spoke all the way home I was thinking I can't wait to tell mum and dad when I get home and he he tried to make small talk I think it was weird because we've been together for four years then and then we lived together so I couldn't wait I was bursting with excitement to tell mum and dad he asked me to marry him when I got home everyone was there and they'd already told him all because he did the right thing and asked my dad what were you doing for work then so then were you working at all because he was playing football or were you still hustling no I've never hustled I was a model and then so I told you when I went to London I ended up doing pretty poorly I was special it's embarrassing talking about in modeling days now but I did special k I used to earn like £70 an hour and like when I met Ashley I had £72,000 in my bank account because I saved all my money which then was an awful lot of money that's a few hundred grand though yeah so um and then when Ashley left Leicester I then he was then he went to crew I couldn't I didn't want to live in London anymore the minute I met Ashley I spent more and more time in Leicester then I used to travel for work then I went then he went to crew and I'd still do some modeling I would do boot campaigns I went boots as in the chemist not not boots on your feet jockey underwear the last one where I was an agency called boss model agency Manchester as well which were still a really good agency today um but what I found myself I remember getting a job for for jockey I was at boots doing a big photo shoot in the south of France and it was really decent money and I actually lied and got my auntie to put up plaster and my auntie worked at a whole hospital I got to put a plaster on my leg and say I broke my leg so I didn't have to do because I just couldn't stand being away from it and I just thought from the longer we spent together I didn't want even five days I used to get churns in my stomach um and then once we got married and we were on our honeymoon I got pregnant on my honeymoon and so then obviously I became my housewife and a mother and then that was when he was at Norwich and then we he then went from Norwich to Derby County but while he was at Derby County was it Derby County was the next one after Derby oh when he moved to Barnsley we then moved back in with my mum and dad and that's how I started business I started my business career what did you do so my dad was always been in the building trade so Ashley had always wanted to live in Cheshire and I worked to buy a big house in Bolton because that's where I sort of grew up and I think so Ashley's background is his dad is really hard work and his dad works on it's on the mines and then years later he it's very similar story to my parents actually um his dad was an only child like I am um Terry's mum one day came home from school and she disappeared and ran off with somebody in the pub and his dad at the time was in the army so he lived with his nana and he never saw his mum again he was only I think 11 in Yorkshire Yorkshire man um and his Ashley's granddad was a massive figure in Ashley's life and I feel so fortunate that I got to meet him I did get to meet Ashley's granddad um it's the first time I've ever seen Ashley cry when his granddad died um but um when his granddad came out of the army he then he was so Terry was brought up by his his auntie sorry I should say he's auntie and and then obviously when his dad came out his dad but then he was a minor then he got his own business and he sold ward engineering I want this isn't factual I couldn't tell you the actual days but I want to say the early 70s for a money that would be worth fortunes today but he was the same as my dad my dad nearly lost everything I've seen my dad crying with scabs on his head because of the stress of business and nearly and put his house and his whole life on the line for his business and having bad times and good times and I saw saw my parents stick together through all those bad times and good times and that's the same with Ashley's parents we've got very similar upbringings uh our parents are very similar in the way they brought us up as well his mum even though she's I would say she's a lot more gentle than my mum but that's probably just in public Maureen was a strong woman you know she had good morals with Ashley um the they he went to private school he went to William Hume he was very sporty uh Ashley was different than me Ashley you know got his GCSEs old levels because he's older than me didn't do GCSEs when Ashley was there then he went on to be a princess at Man City made the first team I think when he was 17 broke his leg his dad went everywhere with him supported him his football from being a really young boy I guess seeing my parents do all that from nothing I remember we'd he wants to live in Cheshire I want to live in Bolton um Ashley was adamant we want to live in Cheshire so we went around trying to find a house in Cheshire at this point it was making half decent money but everything we looked at we just couldn't afford so then we came across a barn in Mobley um and it was 170,000 but it was a barn like literally a barn with animals in it so we had planning permission so I was pregnant at the time with my second daughter Taylor um and we were living at my mum and dad's again we always go back to my mum and dad's with like with all the family and um my dad said well well I'll help you build oh I went out to get prices from builders but it was just too expensive um so we said right well my dad said I'll do it we'll do it together so my dad did it my dad got some of his work men different work men I managed it Ashley managed it he used to finish training and we finally finished it and we called it Ashstone Barn uh I was climbing up ladders it was pregnant with Taylor to check on the builders and stuff and my dad wasn't there and both me and Ashley together we learned about building because a lot of the people we had on day rates you have to keep your eye on them and we finished it and then um so we moved into into the into the barn and then I had a friend when we lived in London and when we lived in Oldham which was the first house we did actually we just did a little renovation on that but not nothing like Ashstone Barn with as soon as we finished and we spent all year painting doors in itself and everything this was another barn but it was like a bed and breakfast so it was a liveable house you could live in it and do it up sorry I could have dragged you back again and uh I just literally put the I finished the house it took us a year to do it because we had no money then nothing like the next contract I just put the Christmas tree up and put the final ball on the Christmas tree and Ashley rang me from training saying Norwich City have come in for me and we're going for talks today I was like what we've just finished the house I went with him I stayed in the hotel while he went for discussions the following day they signed him I never even came back to Oldham my parents packed the house and moved us to Norwich so then from Norwich then we went to Derby County and we lived in Duffield and from Derby County we went to um I'm gonna run it Norwich Leicester Crow Norwich Norwich Derby County Derby County to Barnsley which was his best club right he just flew he just managed Danny Wilson who is still a friend of ours now in fact Danny sent him a video message on his 50th I got all the managers to send Danny said what a lovely guy he just did really well he was one of the top scorers and it's good and then at the time Blackburn Rovers which back then was Jack Walker offered four and a half million which the transfer in the whole country was seven million which I think was Chris Sutton at the time yeah he made a black ball yeah but then so they were he replaced Chris Sutton basically I hadn't heard something in Sheila back then yeah yeah so Brian Kidd who is an unbelievable beautiful gentleman was the manager and they signed Ashley and um so then we started to do the house we did the house up and I remember everything was hunky-dory we had a gorgeous barn it was all finished we had a perfect life we had two children and then the girls were calling around and playing around the house and I just thought to myself when I was an older I met a lady called Maggie she had a um an animal sanctuary but the way she made the money she had nursing homes and she made a fortune and I thought I really want one of them nursing homes I want to buy a nursing home I was at training I had no idea so I got all the gremlins who sold business at the time and I said I'm looking at purchasing a nursing home so they said okay what do you want to spend I said well I gave them a budget when I gave them the budget we went looking around at different ones but to one in older and there was three residents and it stunk a pay I look at another one there was seven residents stunk a pay then I went to look at one in Bolton so I went back to where my life started on Bromwich Street called Aberfield so it was Mr and Mrs Bell and it was eight percent occupancy five hundred and ninety thousand so Ashley's that why did I said I'll make it work you don't have to run a nursing home I said I'll learn I just got a good feel if I buy a nursing home I'll do well and I want to do it I want to have a business I want to do something other than be at home and look after my children and cook dinner I can look after the children cook dinner clean the house and still run a business did you struggle with the state home life no it's not it's not that I struggled with it you just wanted to do something I just I could have my house cleaned I used to take Ashley's pants off him when he came on from work and put them in the washer I've got OCD I'm honestly I'm the most OCD person ever I cook all the time now I've still got the same OCD but it wasn't enough for me I could look after two children I could bath them I could take them to the park I could do all the things I could clean my house I could cook and I've had too much time on my hands I could do something I had space to do something else and I wanted to do something where I could get my own teeth into it I don't want to be just relying on Ashley I want to be able to bring an income in for our family as well so that was sort of I've always been active so I eventually can't approach the bank I actually think we had 150,000 savings and I said to Royal Bank of Scotland I want to buy this nursing home they said okay you can buy it on the provision that you stay the owners stay on for two years so the owners agreed to stay on and off I went dropped the children off at nursery went to the nursing home and it was literally a couple of weeks it was done we owned Aberfields and I'd go into work and Mr and Mrs Bell were the best teachers ever and the reason I say that they were so stingy with certain things they were the master he once actually said to me right if you toast a break don't buy a new one I'll show you how to smolder a toaster together oh no you don't you know you don't you don't have to give them big hot meals at night because they're just like a sandwich and a cup of tea at night I'm thinking anyway what I did learn from them was good business and look after the pounds sorry look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves so after six months I did everything I wanted to learn everything from washing the residents to office work to our courses I did first because what I never wanted to do is have a business where somebody within my business knows more than me so it wasn't a nursing home sorry it was a care home so we didn't have nurses we had carers but quite advanced we used to take the EMI Adlementally Inferm and it was back in the day when you had social services at their own care homes as well so after six months I did six days a week there I used to drop get get the children married to the nursery give them the breakfast clean the house put the wash in drop the kids off shot to Bolton work leave the nursing home pick the girls up from nursery come home cup the dinner do a bit of ironing at night time I was just and then actually he was saying to me at one o'clock in the morning we've not washed a film I'm black just one minute I just want to get these shirts done and what started to happen is I had no time for him because I was working that many hours and because I don't I can't just come home just leave that lounge a bit messy and we can do it tomorrow he said leave that we'll enter the dishwasher in the morning I can't do it it's not my personality I like everything tidy so after six months the bank I went back to the bank and said I do really don't need the owner's on they came back in the bank had a look at it and they agreed to release them after six months and we saved friends for years Mr. Me and Mr. Mrs. Bell so when they left what I decided to do was from everything they taught me I picked up the things that I thought were very very important but I dropped some of the things that they did I started to do things with the residents I started to I mean actually I would come home from training I don't have five of them in the kitchen in Mobley I'd use to like give them a glass of wine in back in the counter take them to the traffic centre I struggled at first because when I'd lose my residence you'd get really upset because you get attached to them but what I started to learn was that you have to keep your bed your beds full so one what I said for Mr. and Mrs. Bell we ran on eight percent occupancy it was a it was a profitable business I then changed things to make things what I think we could add value to and along the short of it I bought next door we extended to 36 bed I bought the business of for five hundred and twenty thousand I sold it five years later for just over two and a half million with a hundred percent occupancy in a waiting list and I became probably the best care home in in the northwest the biggest mistake I've ever made was selling it though right did you see that just because oh so one of your babies came that bolder no scratch just because that much going on in my life well I've got the care home and I'm going and we're living in Cheshire I've used to shop at this job this shop called zigzag so I've been in and bought a nice designer pair of pants but I needed them all to win so the following week I went back to zigzag to say to put my pants up the shop had gone I was like where the bloody hell's the shop gone where's me I've not put my pants up but I knew the only shop over the road which was a slightly older crowd an older shop went over to the older shop said I've got a pair of trousers in zigzag the shop's closed so the owner came down sandy and she said oh don't worry pants are here got talking to her went for a coffee with her by the time I picked the trousers up and gone home I bought the shop so I've gone into business with it well not business I kept on as an employee so I just come home from training one day I bought a care home a year and a half two years later he came back and I bought a shop he's like why do we need a shop I just said I want one I just think it'll work I think fashion that I do I'll get to know people in Cheshire anyway he's always going to actually let me go ahead with it and then sandy took me to buying all over Europe we opened it I rebranded it and called it apparel the worst business for making money I've ever done in my entire career but the best thing I ever did so then I've got all the nice clothes I've got all the all the the big itters and Cheshire coming in the shops he start chatting to people he start getting to know everybody is and then one day the landlord came in and I'll never forget he was a real ladies man if he's listening he'll agree with me he's called Robert built them and I had a great figure in them days a great body and I was always I basically never made money out of the shop because I was always taking stock myself so I spent half the time trying on the garments that I'd bought for the customers and he came in and he was like oh flirty and he did property but he did commercial property and I thought I really want to get this loads of money to be made in property I really want to get into property so I told Ashley I said he's a right womanizer I'm going to get a bit flirty with him get into his head and find out you're getting to this property so I used to meet him go over to Bisteries to try and charm me I kept going with it became good makes me and Robert in the end and sold it to him and Ashley so then I decided I don't want to do commercial I had this vision that I wanted to have a business I've built houses that when he put the sign up it was a pair like a pair of arm and jeans in the shop he had the people knew before the house was built what they're going to get because built and ward was going to be I did things like put TVs in bathrooms before anybody else put lounges in kitchens and we just started to buy up farms get planning permission build the house and we'd always sell them off-plant and before we know it within a couple of years I was flying we were doing so well making a lot of money we built Wayne Rooney bought one of our houses Kevin Campbell did a lot of footballers houses back in the day a lot of footballers bought them off us and then along the way this was becoming a lot more and then I got a manager and because Abbey fields needed my time I got a lovely manager called and Collins it was incredible and I just could leave that business alone because she was a great manager and then what was my biggest worry because I wasn't a spring chicken is when I was ready to retire I didn't have the capacity to start taking and being hands-on like I have been for the previous five years so that was a decision I sold that but what I did I ended up giving the shop to my bookkeeper at the time class of weeks because it because it just couldn't it wasn't a great business for making money but what that did by having apparel it put me on the map in Cheshire that everybody knew or was so when I was then went on to sell houses I then became a bit of a name in Cheshire and then knew I was a footballers wife we then go out with I'd go out the lights of Wayne and Colleen Rooney Leanne and Wes Brown you'd go out with and you then became to become a somebody in Cheshire and I guess without sounding big-headed I became a very well known somebody in Cheshire back in the day and it all stemmed from having that shop so while the shop made me no money it put me on the path to do greater things later on How was that? When was that moment you realised from the kid who was working in a bar staying herself in London trying to survive to then building properties and being shot rubbing shoulders with the elite? I've always expected it I've never thought anything different. Did you always believe it? Did you understand? I actually thought I was going to be an actress and be in Hollywood to be honest I started off wanting to be a pastry girl my mum used to say to me what do you want to be and I'm going to tell you and this is I'm going to be totally honest so I always wanted to be a pastry girl so my mum said can you not tell me what I do smells because we should go out for meals I go I want to be a pastry girl I want to be a pastry girl but I went I then I did I did shoot for the Sun actually I did do one shoot for the Sun newspaper. Did that ever get released? It didn't because there was no internet then they just go back in their archives a long way. One of the press when I very first joined Housewives the Sun said to me oh you believe you're quite well known in the Sun I thought and I'll never forget because before I joined the Housewives which I'll get into shortly the one first thing I did was make sure with all the children let the children know there's cops pictures of me out there I wasn't ashamed of it I was dead proud I used to do like signings and open nightclubs and everything in fact by the way Ashley was a footballer I asked him who was the one that got him and all his friends into the nightclubs and got him to the front of the queue wasn't it it was me so no I've always believed and this is what I've done I've now I've always had a vision that when I'm older I'm going to have a big house I'm going to do this and want to be a Hollywood star I didn't quite get to Hollywood didn't quite get I always want to be an actress I've always loved performing obviously later on in life I mean I sort of did end up on TV so I did sort of a treatment dream in that way but I guess I'm very ambitious and if I lost everything tomorrow I'll start again I'm never faced by anything Fating mentality you say you never drank to 31 why did you start drinking well it's not that started drinking I'd have the odd drink it just didn't really like the taste of it really I didn't really go out a lot I don't really go out a lot now to be honest uh I've not said I didn't drink I'd have the I'd get drunk maybe three times a year I'd have a blast out once three times a year but most of the time I'd drink I was the driver I hope what was that for business to kingdom beyond the path and staying no it's important isn't drinking I've drunk way too much when I was on housewives and into a point where even I could say you're going to have a problem if you don't do something about it and slowing on TV and um but my family would never allow me to be like that and like now oh god there's so much to tell you I need to go back I need to go back really then I can tell you about the drinking stuff like that but um so again being in Cheshire I um um I met lots of people I knew lots of people lots of football as wives of us because I was on myself it was back in the day when we were almost called wags and um and I sort of I never wanted to be but first of all I don't believe in the word wag if I'm honest with you because I know a lot of the girls who are football as wives but secondly I always want to be my own independent person and I want to be known as that as well because I always knew with football it's a short career so in my head I was always stressing that this fabulous life these flash cars these designer outfits one day the taps going to be switched completely off and those days are finished there's no slow process where you can get yourself ready it stops overnight so I sort of always had that in the back of my mind and me and Ashley because Ashley's always been entrepreneurial like I said we do everything together we always knew that one day that that day is going to finish and we wanted to continue the standard of living that we had then with the football money so the only way to do that is to start in businesses so that's why we started you know um and I guess obviously I got to know everybody in Cheshire I got offered things constantly I was constantly being offered TV roles um lots honestly weekly I'd be asked off different people do I want to do TV work it never interests me why you just didn't just didn't want to be on TV and then a friend of mine Darren Little who was the um a producer on Coronation Street EastEnders I actually met him through Denise we met at Denise Welsh's wedding actually and we got on like a house on fire and he was actually doing do you remember the show football as wives yeah that was a classic show I often get referred by the way I'm hoping it's just the uh the deep voice but I'm always getting referred to is it Tanya what's she called Tanya blown girl yeah not a case yeah there is an ambulance if I'm always always and uh yeah so he actually was he was the producer on that he was like I should cast you for that I'm like I'm going on that I'm not an actress I'm not because obviously that was scripted uh and we became friends um and yeah so I got called and that whenever I've been asked to do stuff like end them all approach me wants to do my own show I was always being asked I'd always speak to them like listen to what they're gonna say and then politely say no because I'm a big believer in don't burn your bridges so I remember I was away with um my friends John and Claire called while we've been away in America and um I totally forgot that I'd agreed to see these producers about this some some reality show they're gonna make in Cheshire I couldn't even remember the name of it I totally forgot got off the airplane completely jet lagged fast asleep in bed my housekeeper comes upstairs and said there's there's a lot of producers downstairs waiting to speak to you I was like what come down here once they're looking like when Derek not dawn because I look a state I've been traveling all night and I was absolutely knackered so I thought oh just thought I'll just see him pass it by them for five minutes anyway it was Darren Darren was there I was like Darren what are you doing yes so anyway they started to tell me about the show they're going to be doing it's called The Real Housewives of Cheshire and the more I chatted to them and I just started to think my girls are at an age now I think they were 16 and 18 at the time give a year or two if ever I can help them and give them a platform now's the time and the biggest thing for me going on that show that was the first the second biggest thing was I trusted Darren Little so I thought I spoke to my family about it because one thing I wouldn't do any show without having their blessing because obviously they were going to be involved in it we spoke about some like some topless pictures come out of me and then the whole family it was a collective decision we decided let's go for it and let's do it never did I think for one minute it would become as big as it did and just fast as it did and I must say it's the best decision I ever made just because it's been done really well for my family for my kids but I'm a big believer in life you shouldn't have any regrets you learn by mistakes what do you do on it 12 seasons was it 13 or 12 yeah 12 I think how was it after the first season went how was the response oh it's unbelievable I struggled for the first couple of seasons because like I'll never forget Darren Little saying to me listen dawn if you go on a reality show you've got to listen to me as a friend if you be yourself you'll win because the camera never lies it will always catch out if you try and play up to camera just be yourself if you know the person you are if you're upset you can cry if you're angry you can laugh but be yourself and that's sort of what was my motto all the way along and I don't think a lot of people that I work with on that show kind of 100% say they're like that but I was a bit of a marmite character really and I am in real life that I'll always wear my heart and my sleeve and if you back me in a corner I'm an older child and on the parents of Lynn John Burke you need a very big helmet to take me down but if you stab me in the head with a knife and when it's in my head you say sorry you're really mean I'll pull it out and say don't worry about it and that's how I am as a person I'm very I do really wear my heart and my sleeve and then things got pretty tough for me in season five and six and then I was going through some medical illness medical issues where I had a lump in my stomach and that we needed to go I need to have a full hysterectomy I was having rounds with Turks and cast members on the show and I remember going because I didn't want to worry Ashley and the kids too much I remember like I had my hysterectomy booked in I remember crying at night thinking if I die if I've got cancer I had all this stress going on the show so then I pulled out the trip I was supposed to go to Dubai to film for housewives and I just said at the first time in my life I felt weak so I just can't do it I can't go I'm physically not mentally I can't I can't do it I felt I was attacked from every angle I felt weak so then I never went and then I went to I'm not going to talk about cast members on the show because I don't think that's fair because I'm not here to respond I'm not going to speak about anybody in particular I have got some amazing friends you know on the show and I'm friends with the majority of the cast and I still am today and they're all great girls majority of them but so I booked I got booked in for my hysterectomy and I went into theatre and I was in theatre seven hours thank god I have my hysterectomy because when they tested the I had lots of things going on it it it wasn't cancerous right then as is as in then life threatening but it would have turned cancerous had it had not been removed so I did the right thing and it was a major operation I mean there was things said on the show that oh she's using a hysterectomy I mean how can you use a hysterectomy as a as a storyline it was it's a pretty major operation hysterectomy but anyway I came out my hysterectomy and I resigned from the show and when I resigned I was never ever going back and we lived and breathed the show I give my all to the show I'm you know I tried to be vulnerable I tried to show the real me I tried to show the crazy me there was things that I showed on the show that I didn't particularly like what so I think I've touched on it before I started to drink quite a lot because you drink when you're filming a lot and I'm not saying the show makes you do that because they don't people will often say to me about the real housewives is it scripted nobody can make me say anything I don't want to say so anything that comes out of my mouth I'm not going to blame the producers the show because I'm a I'm an adult it's not scripted it's far from scripted um people say that they encourage you to drink no they don't you just get in the atmosphere with a load of girls and you and one week goes to another week and you then just start drinking more and the I would say the only times I feel I've had a regret and let myself down on camera is when I've been filming I've been drunk um if you're as if that's fair to be getting cast members drunk we're not vulnerable I even listen I know they're not forcing you but no they're not encouraging you so let me just make it really clear every cast member on there it's their choice whether you want to drink or not and in actual fact sometimes they go please stop drinking he's drinking too much you're slowing on camera so they don't so I don't want that to come across because everyone thinks that and that is not the case every single person on there is drinking because they want to drink because you get carried away with a load of girls you've had a row you're having a bit of a laugh it is a night out it is uh so yeah they don't in actual fact they're the opposite the that your family know you were going for that operation how long did you keep that to yourself yeah they knew I was going for the operation how much was that I can say on our life not life had death but it could have been that we were potentially well it could have been yeah of course if you were to be honest but how was that extra stress in your life knowing that there's a chance you might not have been here no I didn't even I don't think I've told him today why did you protect him well no I didn't really need to at the time I didn't want to worry them they know that I had something in there that was that if I didn't if I hadn't have removed it could have could have been but but just to make it clear that has no bearing on anything else in my body it was just that one isolated area um but um yeah and I think so I ended up resigning from the show um leading up to my hysterectomy I had like pus coming out my eyes I was so I was in such a bad place really run down had me an operation went to have respite at my parents house didn't come back to my own home my mum said let me look after you for a week so I did um my producer was ringing me every two minutes Mike's windows saying please you know you can't resign you can't resign you're a big part of the show and I just didn't want to go back and I don't know what it was I think I came out of my hysterectomy and Ashley spoke to me and they said you can't just give up like that so then I went back on the show and I went back a very different person than the person in the last scene and I was just like went anyone that messes with me now you're going to see the real me I'm not going to worry about worrying about your friendship or my friendship you know I will be the person I am if you want to take me on if you want to be that person then like I said I'm bring a big army you asked a couple of you thought you could get together and make me feel very vulnerable while I'm back and I thought quite a lot for a few seasons and then uh did you feel as if you were getting attacked when you were vulnerable he's not a type to felt there's a couple of cast members that thought they pushed me out by look watch the show and make you an opinion how bitchy is it or because on camera it was very could be intense or how much over that was reality all reality or set up no there's none of it set up this is what I keep time people it's completely it's it's not scripted at all look they'll put you in a scene where you'll have to talk about us they'll say right I need you to tell such a body this and that's it that's still guide you and then they'll leave you alone so there's not you know because you've only got a week to film so um no I think they've been on a reality show one of the things that I did open my eyes to in that people get very competitive for fame attention yeah not for fame maybe but for storylines for you can get sometimes they get um and a lot of people lose themselves in reality shows I did myself not just like a hundred percent yeah but it's not actually reality it's like another bubble I tell you what I can only speak for myself because I wouldn't like I said the girls are great on the cat I wouldn't dream of even speaking about a particular cast member because ultimately whether I like somebody or I didn't like somebody for me you have to I'm on a reality show and with a production company I would a a cast and there has to be a mutual respect there whether you like them or you don't that I'm a big believer that if you're going to talk about an individual they need to be there to respond plus everybody was playing their part to create entertainment as well yeah and we had a great show because we have strong women on it but the question you just asked me what was the question you just asked me the reality of real life and no getting lost what I started to do is forget about my family think i'm a bit I am going out a lot because you like people coming over to it's a nice feeling you like um I'd go out more I'd be going out more I'd be going out to bars more I'd have a mingling more people I'd be going out the cast and thankfully I had the family that I've got because I don't think I'm actually put up with a lot I'd say I'd be home at 10 o'clock and I'd be rolling at 5 in the morning you know and I did it a lot it wasn't well for a long period of time um and then yeah and then especially my last season I then started to really understand what my life is about it's not about being on tv it's not about because you have that many people saying you're great coming up to you saying you're so lovely nothing like you on tv you're great oh it's don't modern the cat oh my god and don't get me wrong it's lovely and I'm regardless even now I still get people coming up to me I will never ever not do a picture whether I'm meeting whether I'm doing I'm busy doing something I will always give somebody because it means a lot to them but so I have an amazing I had an amazing following the fans were amazing with me I was I didn't think I'd be like as much as I was to be on this because I'm quite a strong character but I had so many great fans I still have today but what I did I started to think I was it I think I started to forget who I am really and I think I'm bigger I thought I was thinking in my head I'm this star I'm going out I'm doing this and I and you start getting carried away with the whole thing it's a fake life yeah and actually I've got a family at home businesses but my family and everything my family everything I've ever done in my life is my family I joined the show for the girls but I just got lost but only it wasn't for a long time I got lost and thankfully my family is strong and they brought me straight back down to earth and that's exactly what they did so obviously you've been through the show for years it was a massive success what was the reason why you left that time and never came back right so I was always planning that one day I'm gonna leave obviously I've got my family but I think every season I said I'm gonna leave every single season I think it's my last season but I was so addicted to the show and addicted to the cause and I lived and breathed housewives and I had some some amazing times and I feel so grateful for the times I had on there but I was almost addicted to it because I had a felt a responsibility for the show because I was such a big character on the show and the producers were amazing and and they sort of like I felt I'd let them down if I left because I was because I was a big character and because I was always involved in the drama or I felt I'd be letting people down if I left you know so every season my family say this is your last season I'd say and I'm gonna do one more and then I'd just been finishing one of my biggest job well the biggest job I've ever done so like I spoke about my career about me being what my real job is isn't it to designer I'd love to get onto that before I finish because that is actually my real job and the reason I'm living in Warford Hall and I just finished John Caldwell's house in Mayfair which was a huge project 200 million pound project and was fortunate that he gave me the opportunity to John's had a really big influence on my life you know we've done a lot of work together he set up one of my mentors in business I talked about parents he has been pretty amazing I've actually got another friend I've got to say this because in business and stuff Terry, Nicky are friends of mine from Jersey there again another bit of influence in my life but John's one of those people that never gives you a leg up because you're his friend and in actual fact he's the opposite if you're his friend it's harder to get one of his jobs so he had every single interior designer in London pitch for this most expensive house in the UK Britain's most expensive home and all the top designers yeah I think some designers from Europe I eventually won the job and I was on it for four and a half years and it was an incredible job Mayfair house you've probably seen it so I've been on TV on documentaries Britain's most expensive house so I was a lead designer on that and it was a really hard job I was in he was great to work for because he has a lot of trust in me which made me want to work even harder for him you know when you've got a client that says if that's what you think we'll go for it I'm like busting everybody's bollocks behind me because we have to because he's put that much trust in me so it was the final week of the job and I've been on it for nearly five years this job six thousand drawings and it was getting the final sign off and actually I was going away with Nikki and Terry and my friends they've got a place in Tenerife and the following day after me seeing John Cardwell and getting this job that we've the whole team have worked five years on I think if I do this and John Cardwell loves it I have a quick meeting with my agent and then I'm going to Tenerife in the morning went to meet John the meeting went amazing he was delighted went to meet my agent and I tell you what happened I had had an ulcer in my mouth and I've been on a drug called Mestrodysal which I'm not supposed to drink alcohol on and I went to meet my agent and I was with one of my team at the time because she'd been in the meeting with me I had two glasses of wine only I was really slurry I mean even I can have a lot more than two glasses of wine for us I was really really slurry but in a great mood so I said goodbye to my agent Mark because I was on the 740 so I said I had a girl called Jenny with me at the time she was staying in London to do some finalization with the job and I said right I'm going away tomorrow see you jumped on the in the car to get the 740 home when I arrived at the station it was absolutely heaving so there's some kind of problem you couldn't move on the concourse is it anyway so I'm feeling a bit tipsy but I'm also I'm on such a high I've just signed off the biggest job of my life it's done I've achieved it as soon as I jump off that get up in the morning I'm going on holiday job done so I'm in a really good mood and I've seen these two boys and this girl arguing with the customer services girl but this one lad in particular he was screaming his head off so I went over and I was like come on just leave her I said it's not her thought I said look at we're all we're all delayed there's no one just leave her alone I said like I know you you with your Botox face um on that show do you know what I'm the kind of person if you go at me I'll go back at you but that day I honestly he could have said what he wanted nothing could have made me in a bad mood I was in just on a high and he went who do you think you are with all your wealth so I went forward and I tapped him and I went well at least I'm going on first class because I'd rather like say something like that he went I'll show you you've just called me a Jewish gond I went what he said you just called me a Jewish con so what are you talking about I had no idea the guy was Jewish by the way so he said I'll show you watch this within rings 999 so the next thing I'm now knowing because I've been in court and been accused before I just think I know this I know the script especially when you're on TV so now I start to panic so I went to his brother and I was like will you just let him know I've not said that and then he went I've heard you I was like what so then I went to his girlfriend who and yeah I didn't know it was his girlfriend at the time because she seemed like a bit quieter and a bit more like she would be reasonable and I said please will you please tell him I haven't said that have you heard me say that and when I really did panic is when she didn't let me in the eye she looked straight at her feet and said I heard you as well and at that point I thought fuck I am in trouble right now because I've got three people saying I've said that and especially in this day and age anything to do with any kind of racism is a very serious issue and it's something I'm very against but for me to be accused of it if I'm being honest that apart from being a paedophile or a rapist I can't really think of pretty much worse things to be accused of and so at this point I started to panic I was really crying I'm thinking oh my god so I thought just get out the way if I step away from them they'll just leave me alone just look the other way you know anyway the next thing I know the police turned up at this point I'm really crying by this point and I'm saying but I haven't said it I didn't I don't know he's Jewish how will I know he's Jewish anyway long story short because it's quite I'd rather speak to you about the court case rather than the incident they then take me to the police station arrest me put me in handcuffs the week before handcuffs yeah but problem well they took me to the station handcuffs on what well this is what they did so I was crying they didn't hang come from it first this is the problem they got when they got to court because I don't understand the law they took me to the there's like a little station on Houston and they took me inside and before all this he was screaming his head off going she's a racist she's a racist and I remember one of the train platform managers who was actually really nice and thankfully he was there because he was the only independent witness came over and said just say sorry to him I said I haven't said anything I can't I haven't he said just get on the train and say sorry to him I said I haven't said anything so they take it when the policeman turned up quite a junior officer they take they took me to this like a station at eastern a police station they were trying to tell me this young man was trying to tell me to go in this room I'm saying I don't know because it had no windows and claustrophobic so I said am I being arrested because I need to know and he said I may have been arrested he went go in that room I said no am I being arrested he went do you want to rest in there boom he put handcuffs on me in the station so then I was really panicking I said please I'm sorry just I was it was awful honestly it was the most traumatic experience they then take took me from there to um which I thought they were taking me on letting me go after I told them explain the full story I said please look on the cctv footage if you've got any audio I asked all those things um but I promise you I haven't said anything I have I didn't know he was Jewish why would I say that how would you know he was Jewish I told them what I said go go and ask the please go and ask the customer services lady anyway the longest short of it is that I thought they was putting me on a train but the law says they can't put me on a train because they've arrested me and put handcuffs on me which apparently you can't take them off them once you've arrested someone there's a law in it anyway I didn't know at the time I thought was going home when I got to the bottom of the steps there was three police fans waiting for me they put me in the back of a police I was begging them I was like please please please I beg you I've got a real problem claustrophobia I did four years before I could go in a lift um I was begging them please I'll do anything please just put me in the back of them please don't put me in claustrophobic and I anyway they put me in the back of a van and it had a piece of glass in it so the man on the other side could see me um and they drove me to Wimbledon police station an hour and then so the week before so I stopped smoking seven years more than seven years ago um I smoke vapes um but occasionally once twice a year I would have a cigarette but I'm talking one cigarette once twice a year because I thought you could see I got my vape since this I've actually started smoking a bit again which is about a nine million I need to slap it on the head but you get there again you'll get there again yeah um but um so I have the creme ball because my daughter nearly died Aston because there's so much I could tell you I'm not told you half my life story and he's like about three girls with you there's no rush you don't even know about that that's injustice yeah so as my youngest daughter almost died of meningitis what age uh 16 weeks she was born with pneumothorax with which is lungs burst she spent the first four weeks on the life support machine then when she was 16 weeks old she became um she got streptococcytis to see me the doctor said she had less than less than 50% chance if she survived it was 50% chance of brain damage deafness and blindness 85% chance of brain damage deafness and blindness as it happened that day never came thank god oh good stuff um but um I decided I need to give back because there's she's the only child I've met with strep me personally met I'm not saying there isn't other children and I've met a lot because I do a lot of charity work that hasn't got a severe disability of some sort from that kind of meningitis it's not a contagious type it's the one that you carry as a mother when you're carrying a baby so I decided to do a one-off event so I've got a big house I've got a big garden so we put together what we call the creme the creme de la creme ball it was a one-off event we did on the front lawn of our house it was 450 I never thought we'd sell a ticket we sell 450 long story short 10 years on I was then on my 10th year of the creme ball and we hit just over a million pounds with drinks for charity when I do the creme ball loads of people come in the house people leave cigarettes around the house they leave bottles I'm talking like a few hundred people come in the house from the marquee and at the end of the night my housekeepers clear up and if there's anything in the cigarettes they stick them in the second drawer in my kitchen in the oven glove so whenever I do have a cigarette I don't need to buy cigarettes I always say there's always because they have the creme balls always or events have quite a few events in my house there's always fags in the second drawer in the kitchen sometimes about two minutes sometimes about ten in it sometimes it might be a full packet so I was always leaving that morning I was late for the train I said to my my housekeeper just chuck as a packet of fags shut my packet of fags put them in the bag and this is the thing that people don't think because when you see what the press said about me it said that I blamed the my housekeeper for the next bit I'm going to tell you she shut my packet of cigarettes it's exactly what I asked her to do I get to London as it happened I never got chance to have a cigarette that day because I went to meet the agent and before I knew I was back at the station when I got to the station at Wimbledon the second we checked your bag I was like yeah of course you can they checked my bag as they opened the bag in the cigarette packet there was well I thought at the time it was cocaine a packet of cocaine when I actually got to call it was the end it wasn't there it was an empty packet of cocaine that had I think it was something like £3.60 worth okay it's on an empty bag yeah well a Cheshire empty bag probably now at the time when I was I was mortified saying please call my housekeeper at this point nobody knew I was arrested I hadn't spoken to my husband I hadn't spoken to my anybody why the fuck are they still shouldn't you because they asked me they asked me to cut the end I said yeah but you can well I was arrested then I was arrested I'd already been arrested for Rachel Rachel what did I get arrested for now Rachel I gravitated a salt but I got changed later on the first of which arrested me for drunk and disorderly which I wasn't I was complete you know I'd had a couple of drinks and I was slurry because I'd been on the menstrual then maybe that's why they've searched you because they maybe think you were on the on it no it wasn't a slurry way no no it wasn't that it wasn't that kind of slurry it was like I slow and I'm on TV even I've had a drink we always been no straight away I just have a bit of a slurry in me because I've got nodules on my larynx so slow real easy um but maybe yeah maybe I'm just saying it I was completely conference mentors I was just very very upset at panicking so when I got to the station and this so I said please I I don't smoke I said if you call my housekeeper now ask her do I buy cigarettes ask her where do those cigarettes come from ask her where does she find those cigarettes from what events I give them absolute chronological I said can you fingerprint them please fingerprint them anyway so I was not going home then yeah because at that time if you're explaining that it seems as if you're at that time and you're if somebody's trying yeah it's true what you're saying but if the coppers are thinking I've got them for the house it will not make sense they think that you're making all that shut up you know because later on they promised me they would do it and they never did because they even begged them in the morning they kept me in the cell for 18 hours it was the most traumatic I've just told you I'm claustrophobic it was I mean they had to move somebody out of the cell because I'm not claustrophobic they let me open the window so I could get my head out I mean honestly it was I just thought to myself how am I in the cell I've done I've done nothing wrong and I'm locked up in a cell it was honestly it was the most traumatic thing ever so I kept pleading with them because I was going on holiday obviously never went on holiday thank god though the only saving my only saving grace is that had had they have not done that I don't know if it's any I don't know the law 100% I was getting an aeroplane the next day with that cigarette packet in my bag because I would have got home and I empty my bag because I was flying the next morning to Tenerife so I wouldn't have empty my handbag my handbag would have gone with the suitcase and it could have been that they found it at the airport and that would have been in my opinion I don't know if it is I'm sure it would have could have been a much bigger deal what are the papers that have made out you were drug smuggling yeah so I suppose the night in the cell we find in the fact that the cigarette the cigarette packet had an empty bag of cocaine in it prevented me from jumping on that plane and being at an airport but there was fuck all in it anyway they would have seen many stuff like that at the airport there's probably been more lenient than the coppers yeah so so I then I did my next day pleaded with them to you're thinking and the sales at that time that you're thinking somebody's called your racist they found a bat a gear you're thinking your life over do you know what if I'm being totally honest with you even at that point not that the drugs wasn't a serious thing the racism was the only thing in my mind it was the one you know even going to court I'd have been devastated to be found guilty the drugs because more because I didn't have a clue but I would take that all day long to be to prove my innocence against racism yeah a few grams in your pocket listen it's no do with the bat in an island it's fuck all so when we get to court it got I mean I had there was things like how long did the how long did it go on for before it went to court well so we went into lockdown after that so I lived with it over my head all through lockdown didn't tell anyone in the show and when did it break in the press oh I'm going to tell you now so I didn't well I got arrested I wasn't charged so my you know I don't need to tell anyone because I'm not been charged I never thought for one minute I was going to get charged I asked him to fingerprint the drugs I asked him to get the cctv footage I pleaded with him to speak to the customer services lady just because he said I'm saying how on earth could I be charged for calling someone Jewish sorry I don't even like saying it now I'm scared of even saying it on even those words these are that's what you're charged with saying yeah so it's unpopular mean so and there was other things said those things said that I said to the girl that she's a disease I have never not only have I ever said that to anyone have you I have never heard anyone calling anyone a disease have you ever heard anyone say you're a disease I've never even heard of saying but the lies between the three of them there was there was I mean it was terrible but there was big big points that I'm fortunate I own I own my life for a lot of mailsband right it was white it was incredible there's a couple of things I really need to get across I went to court years before was Anita which is a boring old thing the same scenario some she said I did something I didn't do it and the proof was that I didn't Simon Kosex yeah I might even waste my time talking about her like I wouldn't give her the air time but she didn't turn up for the verdict put it that way you know I remember speaking to John Cordwell because there was no but when before it broke in the press sorry so because of my senita case when I was when I got out of the cell my mum picked me up from the station nobody gets to speak to the barrister he speaks to a slipper then they get you a barrister after my senita case I got quite friendly with Lisa Judge so we became friends after the after the court so I rang her and she said come round to my house get your mum to bring me straight here she was amazing and we sat with a couple of glasses of wine just the two of us we sat down and cried and cried on the shoulder and then she said look this is going to be tough for you she said but first thing I advise you get a private investigator before anything just to see what these people are about so I did then she said just in case I don't think you know it's a 50-50 you're not you'd hope not to get charged because there's not enough evidence it's just his word but unfortunately he's got three his his brother I said yeah but he knows them of course he's got them but yeah so when he gets a court we finally find out he said things like old police the pigs all muslims should be shot at birth the german the stuff that we found out on it and I was absent remember I lived in brief she took me Lisa we did everything for three year and a half I had to ring her every day because I was it was on my mind every day I was thinking because oh so at the beginning I'd not been charged and then I remember coming back from Manchester in a really good mood and now I was speaking to Ashley on the way I would never say anything and I walked into the lounge and I was like you need to sit down I was like what what's the matter what's the matter because at one point one of the one of the police officers was saying there's something not right about these boys they didn't know you're in business they've got some kind of vendetta so we never thought we were going to get charged because even the police officer was like there's one of the police officers more senior one so he said you've charged you and I just dropped on the floor I was like oh my god because I know what's coming now I've got a court case I've got press it's going to be released in the press I've got to explain to my children um oh it was honestly I cried all night um so then I sort of like I didn't tell anybody else other than my close family because it's only because then we went to lockdown even though I've been charged we hadn't sat at the end of that court day um sorry I didn't come out in the press and then it was when I was going to my first court um zoom because it was on zoom the first one so going to court my barrister said to me with magistrates you we can't go to magistrates so it's going to cost a lot more money down but we need to go to a crown court because you need a jury you might get one magistrate on the day you might get three but they watch you on the show and they don't like you all they can just take you won't get a fair trial for something as severe as this is what her advice to me was so we took it to and it kept getting adjourned adjourned so it was it was like torture for you for it went off two years off my head so it's mostly a three-day court case and oh when it came out and the press got a hold of it um I can't tell you I felt like my life had ended it was basic honestly it was awful I didn't get up every three days I lay in bed and I was just like I've got I've still got a message on my phone now there's a message from Huston sent me and it was along the lines and I've still read it now uh so when it broke in the press this is how bad it was and I'm not Donald Trump off the top spot in the Daily Mail I mean we can laugh about it now but it was pretty traumatic and I just thought my life's over and I lay and and as much as I'm a confident person and I've always dealt head on with situations when I'm really really down I hide and sleep I don't speak to anybody I go when I go quiet it means I'm really really down I do the opposite to what people think I would I go in myself and I've got some really really good Jewish friends um I've got uh I mean he wrote a fabulous it's David Lewis from London David and Alexis Lewis are really good and that was a thing I was more panicking not just about my reputation with the public about the people that are friends of mine I've got Jewish friends you know they wasn't just saying about it's about Jewish people it was I'm a racist so you to everybody you're racist across the board it was just also overwhelming it was like and it's everything I've always been against you know um my son-in-law's a Muslim I've got lots of Jewish friends I've got black friends I've got gay friends I'm not I don't judge anybody I never have done I've always been a very much people person where you know it's about the person it's not about the religion you know when we're living in a day in age where everybody's walking in eggshells but for me no matter what race you are no matter what sex you are no matter what age you are listen if you're a cunt you're a cunt it's as simple as that that's life and that's exactly what I don't give a fuck who yeah if you're going to be a dick I'm going to tell you you're a dick it's nothing to do with your fucking but actually that that day with the annoying thing is that day can I be honest with you like if I say the word cunt I always say it's my friend's laughing I don't call if I'm mad it's not a word I ever use you're a cunt I'd say you're a dick you're a bitch you're a it's not a word I use when I'm when I'm angry I love the word by the way the word cunt I'm gonna just get that out there so does it's got ish cunt and twat I love that love you your cunt but I would say it as in hey you cheeky little cunt you cheeky little twat you know joking with my friends that's the meaning behind that yeah I would say I'd say another word if I was mad that day I wasn't even angry couldn't get me angry I was going on holiday I just signed up the biggest job in my life so anyway it comes out in the press it's honestly everywhere and I just couldn't get out of bed and nobody forced me to get out of bed my kids were trying to console me um research either yeah research either no no I wasn't at my worst at this point the worst was after the court case and I've got a message off actually and it just said I've got some really good friends I said Al you know Alexis and David Lewis who were Jewish were very very very good friends of ours it was more explaining now it's in the press this is what my husband's trying to tell me so he said hey darling I've left you in bed to rest I've gone to the gym then the architects in Manchester call me when you're up and feel better the worst has gone I've got him isn't it and it's already history although it appears shattering to us lot to most of the world and people with their own problems it's nothing more than a one-minute read that's now history I really don't think we could ignore speaking to key people in our life and friends I would make a list today even just a little text message but just to call people starting with my dad John Cordwell David and Alexis and then with me eyes are watering and then we can start to repair everything you have so many good friends and a family that adores and loves you so rest assured we will come through this stronger than ever I love you no rush to please get out of bed so I literally just thought for everything I've talked about today me interviews about my parents bringing me up about being strong I thought I this isn't just about me this accusation this affects my whole family so me lying in bed is not going to help them I've got to get up I've got to go and beat him and I've got to go and prove me innocence so then I was dreading ringing my friends dreading ringing and do you know every single one of them said he said stop right there I remember David Lewis saying to me stop right there I don't want to hear anymore you don't ever after explain to me the least places but you know John Cordwell was amazing actually his dad was incredible um we never told his dad because his dad's in his 90s and we didn't want to worry him remember my parents knew right from the beginning we didn't want to tell his dad unless he really needed to know that he was so he actually always comes to court um so we get to the courts um oh so with housewives I sort of decided then you because this goes back to the question why to leave the show that man would have probably never known who I was how do I not put on television um I do think with the if I'm being totally honest with you I think with the police system juris cps when you somebody that's a public figure I don't think you get treated fairly at all I think if it was Joe blogs on the street and the police officer said they said this and they found I know people that told me they've had loads bags of coke found and they've took it off and sent them home I'm not saying that that's right I'm explaining when you're in the public eye I think then they're too frightened of making a decision at CPS they'd rather send you to court and let the jury decide or the judge decide because they don't want to be the one seen letting off somebody on the television I do truly believe that um because my court case throwing a napkin at syne at synesia should he's a waste of public money and we went to court because I throw a napkin out I mean that's that's what we're dealing with so I think I've got to grab a bit of evidence we go to court my barrister Lisa has held my hand for two years emotionally she's one of my closest friends now I uh she's incredible I was petrified it should have been a three-day court case we're in court nine days he got up um he told some big whopping lies like really big whopping lies first of all he told the police officers who is a special constable because obviously he wants me arrested he started off with his 999 call that you've got the footage and you've got the 999 call and you can they're all synced and he's saying quick you can see me he stood there and I'm saying but I haven't done anything that my whole body language is quiet I'm I'm clearly crying he's going don't come near me you need to come now she's she's getting really agitated she's getting real and you can have not budging uh and she keeps referring to Hitler so but then when the police come he forgot to tell them so my barrister said to him is if she said so what my barrister did was turn off the sound so he didn't know what he said he didn't because he'd forgot what he said on the 999 9 call and then it shows you where I say I just did that and he goes there's the strike that wasn't even the that was after when he ran the 9 he just lied through his teeth on lots of things he said it affected him mentally he he couldn't go on to public transport anymore the press attention he got but if I got you shared he shared the press on his social media several times which we have proof he'd done so he deleted it before it's cut but we already had it so it I mean it was a real long-winded thing the girl told lots of lies the only independent witness came um oh the drug expert came on um the fingerprints came back there was three fingerprints on them not mine not even on the cigarette packet with my fingerprints um I remember them I think they said at the station I could have wore gloves but it's a bit bizarre anyway there was three sets of fingerprints on both so um the moral of the story is it got to the last day and I can honestly say every night I've caught I've been with Ashley 30 years I think I told you this earlier on I saw him cry when his granddad died the second time in 30 years I saw him cry was when he danced with his mother at our wedding I saw my husband cry that week five times because he was in that much pain trying to protect me he lived and breathed every part of the case he stayed up till five in the morning listening to the audio seeing if there's any evidence and he was the one that found uh Jake Jacobs had actually come off the stand so we couldn't re-question him when we found that he said he was a special and lied about it we had to question his brother about it Ashley found that four o'clock in the morning nobody picked up on it but because he lived and breathed because he wanted to save me because he knew I was telling the truth um between him and Lisa and one night before court I got up for court and I actually wet the bed and I've never wet the bed in my life I wet the bed uh because the the I was looking every day at the jury thinking oh that one doesn't lie to me they're just the whole the stress it's not an environment I'm used to I could have gone to jail you know I had so many things coming through my mind and yeah we had a great case when we knew he told lies we've got proof he tells lies we've got proof he's a racist we've got but ultimately 12 people have got to believe you so my brothers are all the way through just said you can never say we've got a great case done he's you know he's but nobody knows what that you're so it's very very very stressful so we get to the final day and my barris's speech his final speech was amazing she was amazing sorry she she went on to say why did you choose a woman I chose Lisa George she's not about being a woman she represented me in this need to case that's how I met her so you just you know she had your back from day one she is honestly is a criminal barrister if I was a billionaire because people say it's about money it wasn't about money I didn't win I won because the joke because what we proved that our case with everything we said was the truth and justice and each and so I'll get to the jury in a sec so it was all there the evidence the police hadn't even investigated it hadn't even spoken to the one witness that witnessed everything was the customer service they haven't even they hadn't even interviewed her they had no statement from her the only statement we had from an independent police sorry independent witness was the train manager who was the one that told me to get on the train and he got on the stand and he said he said when I came here she was very clearly upset he was very aggressive he was shouting she's a racist I told him to calm down he was swearing and shouting my barrister said what was she doing he said she was clearly upset he said I would you just grab her he said she was actually very nice and he said she grabbed my hand and said please help me and my barrister said to him this was an Asian man um I forgot his name now off a train manager and he said she said to the um the gentleman is there anything on him that would you could see he was Jewish and he didn't not only did he not say no he said absolutely not because he didn't wear a uh not the coat yeah anyway he didn't he didn't have a thing yeah he wasn't an orthodox Jewish man he was it was there were two young lads in fact if anything I think look more Italian I've got friends that look I got a little bit of a Jewish look you know for the Jewish community but I promise you I had no idea he was Jewish now they did the the independent witness now they did the policeman the policeman was interviewed having then when he saw all the evidence because they never he was very junior the officer that arrested him was extremely junior and in actual facts he'd been off with with nerves I think I felt really sorry for him when he actually was up on the stand and he looked at all the evidence she actually said knowing now and you've seen all the evidence that do you think it's been investigated correctly knowing what you know now today would you want this lady being found guilty and he said no and he actually smiled I felt sorry for me smiled even though he arrested me he really put me in the back of the van that's our soft damn I actually felt really sorry for the for the officer and then it came to the final speech and and my barrister was it was the most emotional traumatic thing that final speech I was I was I mean I cried a lot in court when I saw the footage on the body cam of me pleading with him please don't put me in the back of a van it was really difficult for me to watch me I was crying I was crying it was really bad and every day you like when you're in court you're thinking I put my crisp there because that's a good look we've got to do this and we ended up going a bit too loud with it because I was so panicking about I was going to get found guilty and she got to the final speech and she said she said I love going on holiday she said I got to Houston station I couldn't recite it word for word because this last speech stick them in mind for the rest of my life so she said my husband cooked me up in fact my husband still today can't she actually can't get the finals you know they do the final speech you said I'm going on holiday and I was at Houston station and I seen this family they had like suitcases that oh I wish this is her speaking to the jury she said I thought I wish I was going on holiday but unfortunately I've got to come here she had how many of you when you go on holiday you go in WH Smiths and you think I'll buy a good book and you go to the top of the thing and you grab the book and it says and you buy it because of what it says in the front of the cover racial aggravated assault possession of a class A I was actually I had three counts because I had racially aggravated assault against Jake Jacobs but I had the same against his brother because his brother heard it so I had two counts of that and then the drugs possession of a class A so she said is the front cover the book racial aggravated assault possession of a class A she said I'll leave that thought with you then because I'm my husband's at the back thinking why should why should I go in and about books why should I tell it reminded him about all the evidence so she then went into all the evidence for an hour she then came back she said I want to bring you back to that book she said you know what's special about this book oh my god she said how many of you have bought a book and when you read the end it was nothing like what it said on the cover she said but you know the difference to this book this book's got 12 authors she said that girl there how many of you she said have gone I've run it all wrong how many of you have got a bedtime story by your mum and dad you know and see your uncle your brother your sister when you get to the end of the story they said and lived happily ever after she said this lady can never live happily ever after because unfortunately the damage is already done she said but you know what's special about this book she said it's got 12 authors and he can simply write the end and then she sat down it was so unbelievable the jury went out this is the best of ever done this is the least I've ever cried telling this story I'm quite proud of myself the jury went out and it was painful to watch my husband pace when I say pace count door panels it was awful it was honestly it was awful so it was getting towards the end of the day and when you're in court I don't know this the bad thing about being in court is the first part is all about what you've been accused of so the press you see all the negative things the jury look at you funny the judge looks at you funny everyone thinks oh my god have you done this it's a horrible feeling it's only when you get halfway through the case and we can start to prove the other side well for the first three days but the press don't report all the good things that have been said what about what he's lied about this what about because it doesn't sell newspapers and that is what's traumatic and so damaging because even now when I go on google we're trying to get it taken down it's I've been racist to a what's the place called in the weather holocaust but I can never say it grand because obviously his grandfather was part of that which is terrible but I've called her a disease and they're the headlines I've one I've not called her a disease number two I don't know you Jewish number three I've I've never met your granddad I don't know any of it so I how dare you put a big headline it's I mean it's shocking so they went out and the jury came back and there was this one member of jury that was in the middle that all week you cling on to hope and you look at a jury member and you think I think he might have a little smile at me or you cling on to everything but there was this one girl that I thought she really doesn't like me Lisa said we used to talk about the jury every night saying do you think they're doing I think the man in the left might like me now and it's horrible horrible horrible and and so the verdict so it was about to come to the end of the day and she asked the judge even if they haven't reached the decision on all three counts can we see if they've at least reached the decision on counts one and two and he agreed to it and they came in and they said they'd reached decisions on count one and two so it was the racism my heart was bumping out of my chest it happened so quickly because I thought it was going to have to go through some other stuff it just said to me stand up Mrs Ward do you the jury find the defendant I can remember it like I'm watching a film this is one guilty or not guilty of count and I remember having my chin so far up in the air I just took a deep breath close my eyes and I just looked at the person that I thought didn't lie to me who's never once caught my eye for the whole week this one lady in the middle of blonde hair and she just turned around and went is it unanimous is it unanimous or not guilty I went uh and when I say two jurors cried my my barrister had told back because the what the noise I made apparently you can't make it it's like a making this barrister somewhere it's called it's like it's like a something that comes from within your chest and I just collapsed on the wall and broke down following morning they were 20 minutes gone they came back in all 12 jurors not guilty so then the courts over I've got found by all jurors a nine-day court not guilty but what was absolutely remarkable and really grateful is I'll never be I mean I've said this time and time again I owe my life to Lisa judge and Ashley but I wouldn't have got through without them but every single jury member waited an hour outside the gates and when I went outside the gates the all came over and gave me a love and said you have should have never ever been in this courtroom what you've gone through and I remember turning around and saying to the girl uh oh god I thought you didn't like me she's went oh no I like you from the beginning that's quite funny actually because she's strong Lisa judge is strong if you are going to be a liar in front of Lisa judge she will catch you out every time and I remember before going into court John Cardwell ringing me and he said to me oh you got to do don't just tell the truth yeah you are up against three people it's a lot harder to lie understand than it is to tell the truth so when I got outside one of the other jurors said I think I'm in love with your barrister another one went I'm not she shits me up she actually couldn't travel back with us but I owed my life to her but then I guess then I should be on top of the world I get on the train just really quickly something that