Family Theater presents Gene Lockhart and Scottie Beckett from Hollywood, the mutual broadcasting system in cooperation with Family Theater, brings you Scottie Beckett in The Funny Man. Now to introduce the drama, here is your host, Gene Lockhart. Thank you, Tony LaFranco. First, a word about Family Theater's purpose.  And now to our drama, The Funny Man, starring Scottie Beckett as Harry with Werner Felton as the mother.  She said that was no stranger. That was my father. So the next speaker I'm going to introduce tonight is no stranger, either, I have been told. As a matter of fact, Harry, where were you tonight?  Just another MC job, Mama. I had him in the aisles. You big ham. I've got a good mind to take you over my knee. Over your knee? Oh, go on. Quit your bragging. Oh, I'm bragging, am I? Well, I... Mom, what's the matter? I guess the doc's right, Harry. Here's my heart. I gotta slow down a bit. Oh, how do you feel, Mom? I'm all right now. There was just a warning, I guess. Well, now you just sit back and relax. I'm taking over now. Yep. It's your show. I guess I'm just a worn out old trooper. Now, about tonight, son. Oh, Mom, forget it. And I know about the MC job you did at the large dinner last week. How was stupendous, Mom? Are you sure this is what you want to do? Your dad and I were in show business for 20 years, and I know what it can do to you. It's fickle, Harry. It's uncertain.  I know what I'm talking about. Harry, listen to me. Okay, I'm listening, but for guys' sakes, Mom, don't make a tear-jerker out of this. I'm just having fun. Is that all it means to you? Are you sure? Look, there's nothing for you to get excited about.  You've got to find a girl in Alice.  Okay, Mom. I'm normal. Look, only one head. Oh, Harry. That's better, Mom. Look, I've got plans. I was talking to Alice about them. She's going to help me. Alice is a wonderful girl, and I'm glad, Harry. And when I'm all set, I'll report to you. Okay? Okay. I suppose I shouldn't worry.  Are you getting to town, Lou? Yesterday, so the first thing I do is say to myself, Lou, you owe it to yourself to drop in and see Mabel Dennis, the best little hooper this side of the swanny room. That was 20 years ago, 20 long years. You haven't changed a bit. Oh, go on. Still dishing out the same old blarney. What are you doing in town, Lou? You're still in show business. Are you kidding? What do you think? I'm the advanced man for the square ring. You know, that new musical. Yeah. But to me, it's still the same old story, only this time it happens to a price fighter. Anyway, here I am. Say, how's the kid, Mabel? Harry. Oh, he's not a kid anymore. He's engaged. Engaged to be married? Yes. No kid. Well, what do you know? Oh, she's a very nice girl. What's Harry doing? Is he in show business? That kid of yours had a lot of talent. I thought so too, at one time. Why? Well, what's he doing? Working in a warehouse. No, not Harry. Yep. But it was his own idea. He took the easy way. The job was offered to him. It was steady and pretty good pay. Well, why did you let him? You should know. No, no, no, no. It's his own life. Whatever he wants to do, it's all right with me. And that's what he wants to do? For the last couple of months, though, he's been taking on MC jobs around town. Ah, sure. I knew it. Yeah, but I'm not so sure. I don't think he knows his own mind. Oh, don't talk foolish. Maybe he was born and raised in show business. But I want to be sure, Lou. That's why I'm discouraging him. You're not. Yes, I am.  What do you want to do that for? You know how it is, Lou. With show people, you sort of take it for granted. Your kids will carry on. Tradition and all that sort of thing. You know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Naturally, yeah. I thought so too, till Harry took that warehouse job. Then one night, I had a long talk to myself. Very interesting, yeah. So? I said to myself, Mabel, don't push him. Don't let him wander. Don't let him get lost. But don't push him. Uh-huh. That's what you said to yourself. Yeah. That's what I said to myself. Say, there's a, there's a fallen town I know. He's a, he's a very good psychiatrist. Lou, I'm serious. Yeah, I know. That's what worries me. But Lou, I want Harry to be sure this is what he wants. I see. And then there's, there's Alice. Uh-huh. That's his girl, huh? What about her? Well, when the going gets tough, he'll need her. Oh, sure, she loves him now.  That's when it takes just a little extra something besides love. I know. I went through it. Yeah. Well, what do you think? Will she, uh, she make the grade? I don't know. I'm not so sure. Uh-huh. And what happens if Harry decides to go into show business? What'll she do then? That's what I'm waiting to see. Who I'm worried plenty believe me. You don't think she has that something extra, is that it? That's what I'm afraid of, Lou. That's what I'm afraid of. You cold, honey? No, I'm fine. Moon, moon. Yeah. Harry, there's something on your mind. Is it a family worry or can I get in on it too? Oh, sure. Come on in. The worry's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, out. Besides, honey, one of these days you're going to be stuck with me, so we might as well include you in. I know what's on your mind, Harry. I spoke to my dad. Oh, yeah? What'd he say? Well, he suggested cabinet making. Cabinet making? For me? Well, he says you could go to night school to learn the trade. Night school? Well, what about my club work at night? Forget it, Harry. Oh, honey, I need those emcee jobs. You mean the money? Well, it's not only that, but, well, it gives me something to think about all day. Planning my act, thinking up gags. I love it, Alice. I just wait for those jobs. But what about me, Harry? Yeah, honey. What about you? What do you think? You know, my mom and dad are kind of worried about you and your future, and so am I. I see. Okay. Okay, honey. That's it, I guess. I was just hoping... Hoping? Ah, nothing, honey. Nothing. I'll have a talk with your dad tomorrow. That's what I told him. Oh, honey, that's what I like about you. You're subtle, tactful, diplomatic. My, how romantic. It's the moonlight. Alice. Yes? There's something I forgot to tell you. What is it? I love you. Let make a weather. That's wonderful, Harry. But, Alice, don't you let him ditch night school. Oh, don't you worry now, Mother. Let's keep his nose to the grindstone. Yeah, and my head, too. The point is getting a little dull. All right. Never mind the comedy. Let's forget about that. Okay, Mrs. Sourpus. Hey, what's new in the obituary column today? Oh, Harry, that's not funny. Okay. I better go someplace else where I'm appreciated. Harry, where are you going? Well, this time I'm serious, Mom. I've got to see somebody at nine o'clock. Honey, you don't mind. Oh, no, I... Well, one honey at a time, please. Do you mind, Alice? I'll be back by 11. No, I don't mind. I'll wait. I'm going to marry. She trusts me. Alice, you and I have to have a long talk, child. Good. I've been waiting for that. Mom, you can tell her everything about me, except about that blonde in New Jersey. Oh, so there was a blonde in New Jersey. Sure. I almost eloped with her. Oh, don't you listen to him. He was seven years old then. And what happened? She was fickle. She left me for a kid with a two-wheeler bike.  And now don't you be too sure of me, either? No, I'm not worried about you, honey. Really? I've got a two-wheeler bike now. Always leave him laughing, right, Mom? I know. Just like his dad. I wouldn't have him any different. I'm glad you said that, dear. It's a good beginning for a long, happy marriage. I know I used to say it about his dad, only... Yes? I never tried to change his dad. Oh, I won't, Mom. Why should I? I love Harry just as he is. I love him very much. I love you, dear. In show business, we'd say, good castin'. Excellent castin'. Pretty good yourself, kid. Harry, you did a swell job for our amateur show tonight. We're thinking of doing it as a regular routine twice a week. What do you say, Harry? Twice a week? Well, I don't know. Well, look, I'll raise it to 20 bucks a night. What do you say, Harry? 20 bucks a night? Twice a week? I could sure use a dough. Okay, it's a deal. I'll do it. I see my dad's still up. Well, what do you think of it, Alice? Oh, don't do it, Harry. Well, why not? 20 bucks a night. But why throw away your future for $20? I don't get it. Well, I thought we had it all planned. Dad's found a school for you and me. Oh, you mean cabinet-making. Oh, Harry, you haven't forgotten. Look, honey, I'll tell you what. I'll start next month, okay? Meanwhile, we can save up this money for tuition, see? Oh, I don't know. I have a feeling you're stalling. I get it. You have an intuition about my tuition. Intuition? Intuition? Intuition? Get it? Oh, it's not funny. Can't you be serious about anything? Oh, sure. I'm serious about being funny. The MC jobs, the amateur nights. I love them. I want more of the same, honey. Well, I don't. I agree with your mother. You've got a good head on your shoulders and a wonderful personality. Why waste it on clowning? I don't know. Maybe trying to be a top comedian seems very important to me. But how do you know you'll reach the top? Oh, honestly, Harry, do you have the talent? Look, my dad was a headliner for 20 years. It's in the blood. I can do it, too. Oh, that's it.  All right. What can I do? How can I prove it to you? Shall I make you laugh? So, Patrick O'Hara was talking to my... Oh, Harry, stop it. Okay, me darling. Oh, please. Oh, honey, I just don't know how to explain it to you. It's hard to tell if a man has a talent or not. It's a funny thing. Look, you make a cabinet. It's beautiful. It's worth $100. Okay.  But a comedian's heart's different. He's a personality.  I'll take Mickey Mouse. Or maybe he's good for six days in a row. The seventh day, all he does is lay eggs. He wishes he'd stayed in bed and laid eggs. Don't you see what I mean? I understand. It's intangible. Is that what you're trying to say? Well, that's what I am, honey. I'm an intangible. Oh, Harry, I wish you wouldn't clown not now. Oh, please. Don't you see how important this moment is for both of us? I just can't make you understand. I'm so worried about us. I don't know what to say, what to do. Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I better go in now. Not while you're crying. Honey, look. Please. Well, I'm trying to tell you. I'm sorry. Good night. Okay. You don't have to get up on your high horse. Good night. Okay. Go on. Get up on your high horse. And when you come back looking for me, remember, I went that way. Fidgety tonight. What's wrong? Is it Alice? Mom, dear, you worry too much. I haven't seen Alice all week. What's up, Harry? Alice is up on her high horse. Well, I know it's none of my business, but what did you quarrel about? Was it those MC jobs? Mom, you mean you knew what I was doing all the time? Well, of course I knew. Mom, I get 20 bucks a night, twice a week. It's paid your doctor bills. Mom, we can use the money. Is that why you did it? Just for the money? Mom, don't laugh. If they'd let me go on every night, I'd do it for nothing. I'm not laughing. And I'm not crazy. Now, don't tell me I'm... I'm not telling you anything. You do what you like, son. Look, you talk about a normal, happy life. Well, who knows what's normal. For me, it's normal to be a clown. I'm just doing what comes naturally. For somebody else, it's normal to be a butcher or a baker or a cabinet maker, but not for me. Graduation day. That was your graduation speech, son. What do you mean? Oh, someday I'll explain. Now, what about Alice? Well, there's nothing about Alice. I think it's her folks, mostly. Of course, you didn't help any by telling her all about... I told her nothing but the truth. She's entitled to know what to expect. Sure, you looked into your crystal ball and told her all about the dark and dreary future she's gonna marry. Did you have to scare her, Mom? She had to know better now than later. And it wasn't all dark and dreary. I showed her this scrapbook. I remember one night she asked me about it. Is this your scrapbook, Mom? Oh, not exactly. Most of it's Harry's father. Haven't you ever seen it? Oh, I love to look at it. It brings back so many memories. Bond memories? Oh, yes. Wonderful memories. Look here. That's his father. His first show on Broadway, Stars in the Sky. I remember opening night. It was his big show. I was so thrilled. I actually cried. Did you? And here he is, doing a single at the palace. I sat through every performance. Oh, it was wonderful. And here, here's a good picture of him. His first comedy lead. They loved him. We were living in the clouds then. It was a wonderful life. And I always thought you hated it. Because I'm discouraging Harry? Well, I have my reasons, dear. But you understand, Alice. A scrapbook contains only the big moments. The happy moments. We leave the sad, the bad moments behind with the years. And I guess we had our share of both. Well, anyway, it was exciting. So, you see, I've shown her both sides of the picture. It's up to her to decide now. I, I love that girl, Mom. I, I guess it's the same old story.  But what's the ending gonna be, Mom? I wish I knew. Help me make it a happy ending. You know, boy gets girl. No. That's just the beginning. I like the fairy tale endings better, son. They lived happily ever after. Hello, Alice. This is me. Oh, Harry. Yes? Look, I'm quitting that MC job. Tonight's my last night. Are you doing it because of me? Oh, I'm sorry I was so mean the last time I saw you. Oh, that's all right, honey. I guess I acted like a kid myself. Alice, can I see you tonight? Oh, of course. I can pick you up. You can watch the show. My farewell performance. Okay, I'll be ready. Bye, honey. And don't forget to put a light in the window for me. A spotlight. Harry, you're not quitting. Yeah, I've made up my mind. But why? I thought that's what you wanted me to do. Harry, are you quitting because of Alice? Well, I suppose so, but I thought you... Never mind about me. It's you I'm thinking about. You'll never be happy out of show business. I wasn't sure before, but I am now. But it's the only way I can win Alice back. But will you be happy then? Why not if I get Alice? I know, boy gets girl. Oh, I thought you liked her. She's a fine girl, a wonderful girl, but is she right for you? What do you mean?  Don't let her change your mind. You'll both regret it. Oh, listen to me, son. Listen. Mom? Mom, what's the matter? Here, Mom, let me help you. Here, sit down. Are you all right? Yes. Yes, dear, I'm all right. I shouldn't get so excited. The doctor warned me. Let's not argue anymore. Please, Mom. Here, Harry. Do you mind if I go tonight to see you act? Oh, I want you to come if you feel all right. You can sit with Alice. All right. I wouldn't want to miss your last performance. I need your help. What's the matter, Mabel? Is it Harry? His heart is in show business. I'm sure of it now. Well, is that bad? What's wrong? It's his girl, Alice. I see. She didn't pass the test, is that it? I'm afraid she's not for Harry, and he's crazy about the girl. She has other plans for him, but it won't last. Three years from now, five at the most, he'll be back doing MC jobs. I know, and then the arguments will start all over again. Yeah, I know what you mean. If you got grease painting your blood, that's all, brother. What can I do? He's an MC amateur, Knights of the Strand. He's on tonight. Catch his show, Lou. Maybe you can use him in your show. But now, wait a minute. I want your honest opinion. If you don't think he'll make the grade, just forget about it. But I'd appreciate it, Lou, if you could be there tonight. Okay, Mabel. I'll catch him at the Strand. But what happens if I make him an offer? Will he take it? I don't know. Oh, it's not so difficult for him to give up those MC jobs for Alice. But a part in a show is something else again. It might make him think twice. You really got a fight on your hands, Mabel. When you're up against love, it's pretty tough. But I'll be there tonight, and we'll see what we shall see. In my dressing room, where's Alice? She walked out. Walked out? About 10 minutes ago. But why? I don't know. I thought I heard her crying. She suddenly excused herself and walked out. So she walked out of my act? Crying? Was it that bad? Oh, you did fine, son. Of course, you stepped on a couple of laughs. But you were wonderful. Well, did you say anything to her mom that maybe... No, no, not a word. I don't understand it. I'll bet that's her. Just a minute. Oh, hello. Hi, Harry. Can I come in for a minute? Hello, Mabel. Hello, Lou. Well, what do you think of him? Well, he's okay, Mabel. A chip off the old block. Oh. Harry, I'm Lou Lindorf. I'm with the Square Ring Company. The Square Ring? I've read about it. Lou knew your dad and me back in our vaudeville days. I asked him to catch your act tonight. Oh, I see. Son, I think you've got it. Huh? And I got a deal for you. You see, with a big road company like ours, we carry only major leads, and we cast the minor parts in each city. You follow me? Sure. Well, I got a part for you, Harry. Like I say, it's only a minor comedy part, but I'll tell you this, it's a tough part to cast. So if you click, we'll keep you on as a permanent member of the cast. What do you say? I don't know. What do you think, Mom? It's up to you whatever you feel you want to do, son. Oh, I'd like to take it, Mom. It's a wonderful chance. And in a couple of months, we get into New York and open up on Broadway. Broadway? My first show. Oh, gee, what a break. But what about Alice? Oh, why did she walk out? Mom, was she angry? I don't know. What'll I do, Mama? I don't know what to do. Oh, Broadway, what a break. Hey, maybe that's it.  Let me talk to Alice. I've got to see Alice first. Right. I'll be at the theater tomorrow at 2. You've got to let him know by tomorrow, Harry. Oh, sure, I'll let you know. I've got to make her understand. She's got to see it my way. She's just got to. Oh, no answer again. It's a third time you've tried to call her today. She won't even answer the phone. What are you going to do? I don't know. I don't know. Do what you really feel you want to do, son. That's the important thing. Okay. I don't want to be late. You can't make a break, can you? Good luck, Harry. Mama, if she calls, tell her I've got to see her. I know, I will. That is, if she calls. Mrs. Dennis, oh, I couldn't stay away when I read about Harry being in the show. I just had to come. Alice. I'd like to ask you one question. Yes? That night you walked out on Harry. Were you really crying? Yes. Yes, I was. Well, would you tell me why, dear? It's very important. It wasn't because Harry was so bad. Oh, no. No, he was wonderful. I mean it sincerely. Well? Well, it's hard to explain. He was a different person up there on the stage that night. It was the same old Harry I knew, but magnified a thousand times. At the stage he was a big man, a big, lovable, wonderful guy. That's it, Alice. You put Harry under a spotlight. It's like a magnifying glass. That's when I started to cry.  Oh, I felt so bad, so much like a stranger. I... Oh, I don't know. Oh, welcome, stranger. Welcome, trooper. A thousand times welcome. And he does have talent. Oh, I'm sure of it now. Yes, dear. And tonight is only the beginning. Hiya, Mom. Hi, dear. Oh, hello, Alice. So you did come tonight. Oh, I had to come, Harry. To tell you I want to join the act. Wherever you go, I want to be there with you. Oh, Alice. Hey, Mom, it's just like you said. The fairy tale endings are so much better. Curtain going up, second of curtain going up. Curtain going up. This is Jean Lockhart again. Did you ever wander into an old pawn shop? For me, a pawn shop is always an adventure into the past. A journey into a museum of memory. In the windows, hanging on the walls, in the dusty display cases, are objects that must have been painful to part with. That worn wedding ring. How did that come here? What did its pawn price buy? And that set of mechanics tools. For what was it exchanged? The man who surrendered that overcoat for a few paltry dollars. Did he feel that hunger was more pressing than cold? The woman who brought in that gold wrist watch. Did she need the money for her child's operation? All these objects belong to people touched with hunger, fear, want, oppression, urgency, need, and perhaps despair. I wish we could look into the faces of all those people and ask, did you try prayer first? Unceasing prayer? Did you ask that you might receive? Did you knock that it might be opened unto you? It seems too many persons have put prayer itself into pawn. They forget that the redemption price of the ticket is only a bended knee or a soft are they. Family theatre again reminds us the family that prays together stays together.  From Hollywood, Family Theatre has brought you The Funny Man starring Scotty Beckett with Verna Felden. Jean Lockhart was your host. Others in the cast were Herb Vigrant, Alan Ortanon, and Jack Raymond. The script was written by Saul Seidman with music composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman and was directed for Family Theatre by Joseph F. Mansfield. This is Tony LaFranco expressing the wish of Family Theatre that the blessings of God may be upon you and your home and inviting you to join us next week at this same time when Family Theatre will present Anne Blythe and Robert Stack in the House Where Time Stop. Leon McCarre will be the host. Join us, won't you? Cast throughout the world and originates in the Hollywood studios of the world's largest network, The Mutual Broadcasting System.