Ladies and gentlemen, the story you're about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Dragnet.  You're assigned a juvenile detail. An narcotic ring has been supplying drugs to the teenagers in your city. There's no lead to the identity of the key people in the operation. Your job? Find them. It was Monday, February 9th. It was cold in Los Angeles. We were working the day watch out a juvenile detail. My partner's Frank Smith, the boss's captain powers. My name's Friday. I was on my way into the office and it was 8.01 a.m. when I got to Georgia Street, Juvenile. Squad room. Hello, buddy. Been in long? Well, since about 7.30. How come? No, couldn't sleep. What's the matter? Anything wrong? Well, a family had a beef. Well, the kids are sick. We were up with him most of the night. What's the matter? I took him over the rides yesterday. Rides? Rides. You know, the place over there, we have the merry-go-round. Oh, yeah. That little carried away, I guess. He sure had a good time, though. Took in everything, roller coaster, airplanes, whole works. Mm-hmm. She can't expect us to do it on an empty stomach. We had a little sum beef. Guess maybe we overdid it.  Faye says I am to blame. One thing led to something else and the beef was on. So you just got up and came in to work, huh? Yeah. Stopped and had some breakfast, read the papers, came on in. How's the kid now? Okay, it was nothing serious. A little too much cotton candy, though. Faye's got a tendency to make too much of those things, but, you know, she always does. Now, something we can do for you, young fella? I'd like to talk to somebody. All right, come on in. Maybe we can help you.  That's right. It's Frank Smith. My name's Friday. Hi. Hello, son. What do you want to see us about? Kind of private. Is there someplace else we can go to talk? We can, yeah. There's a room down in the hall. Well, that might be better. All right. We can go down there. Come on. Down this way. Yeah. That's it right here. Go ahead. Yeah. You want to take a chair right there, son? I'm okay. All right. Now, what can we do for you? I want you to put me in jail. Why? Because it's the only way I'll stop. I know it. I got to be in a cell or I'll do it again. What do you mean, son? I'm hooked bad. I want to stop. He was a nice-looking boy, well-dressed and clean. He looked like he was in his late teens. He asked us to put him in a cell. There was an intenseness in his eyes that showed that he was serious. Frank and I questioned him further. What's your name, son? John Coulter. Do you spell the last name for me? C-O-L-T-E-R. How old are you? 17. Where do you live, son? You have to have that. It hasn't got anything to do with why I'm here. Oh, we'll have to have it, son. 1896 Dillam Street. Is that an L.A.? Yeah.  I'm using four a day. How long have you been hooked? A year or a day before yesterday. Want to let us see your arms? Yeah. And you've got a lot of marks there, haven't you? Yeah, I guess so. A couple of them there, we better have the doctor look at. All right, I don't care anymore. How long since you had a fix? Last night.  Not easy. Well, I guess it is. Hey, you mind pulling those blinds? It's awful bright in here. Yeah, I'll get it. You live with your folks? My mother, my father died when I was five.  No. She's going to have to, you know. Then you're going to tell her I'm not. All right, we'll take care of that. Your life better now, son? Yeah, thanks. When did you eat last? Uh, yesterday. You hungry now? No. How about a cup of coffee? No, thanks. How'd you get started on this stuff? It probably runs like all the rest of the stories you've heard. Well, why don't you tell us yours anyway? All right. I'm sure we can't get you something. Only one thing of doing ain't good, and you can't give that to me. All right, go ahead. How'd you get started? A couple of years ago, it was Halloween. The kids had a party. We all went to this house. Kid that owned it had the rooms all decorated up, you know, paper streamers and those cardboard skeletons. Had the whole place done up like that. We got there and found out they were figuring to play games. We went the game route for a while, and a bunch of us decided to leave. Things were dull, so we left. Where'd you go? Well, we just drove around for a while, tried to figure something to do. Whose car did you have? One of the kids had his father's. All right, go ahead. Well, we drove around for a while, and one of the kids said for us to go up to Mulholland. We go up and scare the lovers up there. Yeah. It wasn't anything else to do, so we drove up. When we got there, one of the guys fell. I didn't know too good. Said he had some tea. Said we should have a blast party. This boy was at the other party, wasn't he? Yeah, but I didn't know him. Didn't meet him until we were out on the ride. Did he go to your school? No. All right, son, go ahead. Well, we parked, and he took out these cigarettes. He had them in a tobacco can.  He had them in one of them. Then we lit up and started to smoke. At first it made me sick. I didn't like it much. Come right down to it. I didn't think the whole thing was such a good idea. Why'd you do it then? All the kids there had to, or they said I was chicken. All right. How'd you get started on the hard stuff? I just got to the point where there wasn't much kick in tea. You know, same thing all the time. Wanted to go up a step. Who set you up? One of the kids I met. Wasn't the same boy like the marijuana, was it? No. You see, once in a while we'd go to a big blast party at somebody's house. The other kids there. New ones. I met Jerry there. Jerry. That's the boy's name? Yeah, Jerry Rove. How old is he? 19. So you hooked? Yeah. Was he when you met him? I guess so. How'd he spell his last name, son? R-O-A-T-H. How'd he turn you on? We were talking about tea. How the kick wore off. And he said there was something else. Something that had a real jolt. Yeah. I'm starting to get cramps. You better have that cup of coffee now. I'll get it, Joe. All right. Be rough, don't you, son? Yeah. It's a good thing I'm here. I'd start looking for a connection. Did you take your first shot of heroin the night you met this roof kid? Yeah. We went outside to his car. He had a fit there and he cooked up a fix. He took one, then I tried it. What happened?  Thought I was gonna die. Figure what's happened since then might have been a good thing. How you been supporting your habit? Only a couple of ways. You steal or you start pushing yourself. Which way do you go? Both. What'd you steal? Anything I could sell. Never took anything from anybody else, though. All from my own house. Most of the stuff was given to me. Rings, my watch, whatever I could raise a buck on. What'd you get rid of it? Around the school. Couldn't go near a clone shop, but the kids didn't care as long as they got a bargain. Sold my own man's watch for three bucks. 17 jewels, solid gold, three bucks. What were you pushing? T, H, anything. I'd buy the H and then cut it myself. You don't have to do that many times until you got a couple of extra caps. That took care of me for a while. Yeah. Pretty soon there was never enough. Got so as I was always looking forward to the next fix. When'd you start mainlanding it? I chippied with the stuff for a couple of months. Skin pops. Then that wasn't enough. Started in the arm. When'd you find out that you were hooked, son? Do you remember? About a year. Took a while, huh? I figured it would never happen. Thought I could beat it. Turn it off when I wanted to. Didn't work out that way. Didn't you know you had it bad when the charge went up? Not really. I still thought I could quit when I wanted to. It does never seem to get that far. Kept putting it off. Guess if I figured I could start the next day, it didn't matter much. Time I decided to quit, I couldn't. Here's your coffee, John. Brought one for you too, Joe. Thanks. Try to get it down, it'll make you feel a little better. Yeah, that's getting worse. You got a doctor here? Yeah, there's one upstairs. I better see him, might be something he can do.  No, she works. Is she there now? What time is it? Quarter nine. It'll be about ten minutes. Better give us the number, huh? Yeah.  That's right. Gonna tell her about it? Yeah. Gonna take it pretty hard. I don't think she knows anything about it. Oh, we have to do it. I guess so. Tell her how there's a cure, though, huh? She's gonna be pretty scared. How do you mean? She read where only 2% come out of it. Well, there's less than that and want to be helped. There's a lot less. Yeah? Maybe you got a piece of that 2%. 8.57 a.m. The boy was taken up to see the doctor on duty at the receiving hospital. About a couple of minutes after nine, we put in a call to the firm where his mother was employed. We talked to the personnel manager and he said he'd have Mrs. Kolder call us. A few minutes later, the phone rang and we talked to the woman. We told her briefly what had happened and asked her to come right over to the office. At 9.25 a.m., the door to the squad room opened and a tired-looking woman who looked to be in her late 40s or early 50s entered. She identified herself as Nora Kolder and asked us what had happened to her son. He's upstairs right now in Mrs. Kolder. The doctor's looking at him. He told me he's been using narcotics. That's right. Is that what he says? Well, he's admitted it to us. Do you all right? Well, we think so. He's got an infection on his arm caused by a bad needle. But it's going to be all right. That's right. You have a cigarette, Sergeant? Yeah. Hang on. Thanks. Help yourself. There's a line. I guess I should have known it'd be something like this. Like a part? I should have known. Had to show up someplace. I don't think I understand Mrs. Kolder. There's a trouble spot in the mall, Sergeant Oliver. This is Johnny's. You don't think I'm saying this personal to you. It's just what I've seen in the years I've gone around. Trouble spot in all men. Did you know your son was using heroin? No, I didn't have any idea. According to what he told us, he's been hooked for over a year. You must have noticed something, didn't you? He used the word hooked. I'm afraid I don't understand that kind of thing. I'm sorry. I mean, he's been an addict for that long. Sergeant, I've been working for a long time. Ever since Johnny's father died, I worked before then. And I get home after standing on my feet all day. I got a few more important things to do than wonder what he's doing. All I can do is just drag myself down to the factory every morning. Yes, ma'am. Always something bills to go over. Decide who's going to have to wait this month, close the wash and iron.  All I can do to climb into bed before I pass out. All right, Ms. Coulter, we understand. I wonder if you do. How's that? I said I wonder if you do understand. Have you ever raised the boy by yourself? No, ma'am. I have. Believe me, it isn't easy. Since 11 years ago, I've been a mother and a father, both to Johnny. I always knew there'd be something that'd blow up. I knew it because he just like his father, exactly like him.  35. And for the past 17 years, I haven't had a minute of happiness. Yes, ma'am. Is there anything we can get for you, Mrs. Coulter? No. The only thing I want is a little happiness. It seems like it just isn't going to be any that while I'm on this earth. I'm sick, Sergeant. I'm old and I'm sick, and I can't go through any more of this. Your boy's pretty sick, too. Yes. I know all about that, too. I read how none of them cured work. Well, they say 2%. There's something else I got to carry. It might be a little different with John. I don't see why. No reason for him to be something special. No reason for him to be cured. Yes, there is. He wants it, Mrs. Coulter. What's going to happen to him? We'll file a petition on him. After that. I'll have to make an appearance in juvenile court. They'll decide what treatment's going to be best for him. Can I see him? Yes, ma'am. We can take care of that. Now? Frank, you want to see if the doctor's through them? You have another cigarette, Sergeant. Yes, there you are. Here's a match. Thanks, Sergeant. It's all right. I'll tell you something, Miss Coulter. Your son's pretty sick. He's not going to look too good when you see him. He been hurt? Not so it shows, but he's going through a great deal of pain. There's going to be a lot more. For both of us, Sergeant. I guess you're right at that. It might be better if you remember that he's just a youngster. He's only 17. I won't forget. He's mine. All right. He's made a mistake, but he knows it, and he's taking it on himself to try and do something about it. I'll tell you something, Sergeant. All right. I've had a lot of trouble with Johnny. He was literally, he was always running away from home. Time he got to school, he played hooky a couple of times a week. High school, it was the same thing, but that's not the worst of it. Ma'am. He's been stealing. From his own mother, he's been stealing. Yes, ma'am. He told us. He admitted it? Yes, he did. Well, there you are. Not bad enough. He's a dope fiend. He's a thief, too. I wasn't sure about the steal, and I just thought so. A few things have been missing around the house, and I've asked Johnny about him. He'd offered some half-baked story, and now I know. He's a thief. I haven't got enough. Better take it easy with a boy. Take it easy. That's a laugh. All I've done for him, nice home, not real big or fancy, but it's clean. We've got a kind of closet sort of, nice and big with a window. Got that all fixed up for Johnny. Airplane pictures on the walls. The best I could do. We eat good. Never gotten hungry. Lord knows I have, but he hasn't. No reason for him to do a thing like this. No reason at all. Yes, ma'am. All about it, Johnny. These men told me. All the time I've been telling you to end up like this. You in trouble with the police. You just wouldn't listen. You thought you knew better than me.  I'm sorry about it. A little late for that. Am I going to go home with all the neighbors knowing about what's happened? I'm sorry. Well, if that's a lot of good, that's going to do. I had you home right now. I'd show you and don't think you're too big for me to do it. You want to take me upstairs, Mr. Smith? Yeah. Just a minute. I got some more things to say to you.  I don't feel so good. I'd like to be by myself. I'll talk to you later. You talk to me now. I've got a lot of things I want to tell you all the trouble you've caused. I'm sorry. Please, Mr. Smith, it's tough enough. All right, let's go. You bring him back here. You bring him back. Can get for you, Miss Colder? Get me a reason why this had to happen. Get me one. Do you know one? Well, I can't be sure. What do you mean by that? Just like you said before. What? He's your son. We made arrangements for Mrs. Colder to be taken to her home. That night, John Colder was kept in the jail. The next morning, we filed a petition on him. We had one of the doctors at the county hospital talk to Mrs. Colder, and he finally convinced her that her son would get proper treatment at one of the state hospitals and she signed the necessary papers. For the next three days, the boy had it pretty rough. If the novice drug user had the opportunity to witness a patient going through withdrawal pains, the majority of drug traffic would be brought to a halt. Because of the sincerity of the Colder boy, Frank and I spent as much time as we could spare with him while he was going through the symptoms. He complained to violent headaches and stomach cramps, the usual things. He was unable to keep any food down. His eyes watered constantly and for 72 hours, he was in a state of constant violent pain. On the fourth day, he began to recover. He was able to take some warm beet broth and apparently was on his way to being physically well. On Saturday, February 15th, we talked to him at the hospital. Rough go.  Best thing I've heard for a week. Don't think I could go through any more of it. Well, you got him made now, John. He'll get all the help we can give you. Well, you guys have done a lot already.  Well, that's what we're here for. Hey, either one of you got any gum. Yeah, sure. There's some. Jumpy. I gotta do something to calm down. You seen my mother? She called us yesterday now. How's she getting along? A lot better. One of the doctors here at the hospital talked to her. Said she wants to see you. Be the same thing. Her telling me how tired she is. How I'm a goofball. I don't think so this time. It hasn't been easy for her either, you know. Maybe not. I don't know. Well, I should give her a chance to make it up. She wants to. Yeah. I guess there isn't much more I can do. All right. Now, the couple of things we want to ask you. What? We want the men who kept you supplied. Names? That's right. You figure I'll tell you. Don't you figure you will? Wrong base. I'm a bum in a lot of ways, but I ain't going to get anybody else in trouble. You told us about this Jerry Roke, didn't you? Yeah. We got a wand out on him now. Only be a matter of time before we pick him up. Then let him tell you. You think you got a little wrong here? Yeah. What do these people do for you? They're friends. Check the books. Go over what they've done for you against what you've done for them. What do you mean?  Figure it out for yourself. You know, they tell us there's an estimated 25,000 narcotic users right here in Los Angeles. They tell us the big part of them are kids. Reed's good. Figures always help. I know. You remember something else, youngster. You came to us and you asked for help, didn't you? You walked into the office. He said you were in trouble. We're not trying to steal a play here. It sound like big men. But when you said you wanted help, we didn't ask if you could afford it. We didn't care. Now, these people are such good friends. Why didn't you go to them? I'll tell you why you didn't. Because you were scared. You know what had happened if you walked up to them with empty pockets.  They never met you, did they? Loyalty's fine. It's a good thing. People could use a lot more of it. But turn it around, son. You've stolen things from your own family to support this habit. Now, how loyal have your friends been when you haven't had the price of a cap? How quick did they come through for you then? You know what it's like in here. You've had it bad. Any of your friends been around to see you? Any of them been willing to hold your head while your insides fell out? Now, we asked you a question. We don't really need the answer from you. We'll pick up the people who know this. We'll reach every one of them from the mule that sold you that first cap to the guy who's been bringing the stuff right into the country. We just figured you'd like the chance to help out the other 25,000. I guess we had it wrong, didn't we? There's the phone. Put in a call to one of your high-powered friends. See how fast they come through for you now. You don't need us and we don't need you. Let's go, Frank. Yeah. Wait a minute. Yeah. I'll give you the names. We talked to the boy for another hour and a half. During that time, he gave us as much information as he could on the operation of the narcotics range. He supplied us with the names, dates, times and places. However, he could only go so high in the organization. Frank and I went back to the office and we called Narcotics Detail. We talked to Sergeant Roxy Luccarelli and his partner, Steve Broadhurst. We filled him in on what had happened and gave them a list of the names we had. The roundup of narcotics salesmen started. Inside the next 24-hour period, 14 men and women had been taken into custody. Each one of them was interrogated, but they didn't know the name of the key man on the operation or they refused to tell him. They were all booked on various sections of the state narcotics code. On Wednesday, February 18th, we received word that Jerry Roth had been picked up in the washroom in Pershing Square. Frank and I went over to the main jail to talk to him. All right, get it over with. We want one thing from you, Ro. Yeah? The name of the wheel. I don't know what you're talking about.  What for? Roll them up. Let's see the other one. I'll use the stuff at all. I'll come off it, Ro. We got you and you know it. I don't see where it says that. How old are you? Well, you got the record. Look it up.  I live that way, too.  You won't keep me here for more than 12 hours. Don't make book on that. Well, I got a lot of friends in this town. Don't get me out. You keep believing that. We put a hold on you when we came in. What's that mean? It means you'll be dropping to an ISO cell. It isn't going to be anybody who can talk to you without us knowing about it. We'll get to the wheel. You talk loud, cop. But I got trouble with my ears. All right. You sit right with it, kid. You'll be screaming for us to talk with you. Yeah, sure. Keep believing it, because I'll give you one thing free. Yeah? Next time we're here, it'll be to listen. Ro was returned to his cell and Frank and I went back to the investigation. For the next two days, we kept a constant check on the suspect. During that time, nobody had attempted to see him or talk to him. Saturday, February 21st, we got back to the office from lunch. Want to check the book? Yeah. Anything? We'll just call them in jail. Ruth probably wants to talk. Well, we might have tried to spring him. Yeah. This Friday, juvenile. When? We'll be right over. Ruth? Yeah. Want to talk? Well, maybe we can ask him. Huh? They just cut him down. He tried to hang himself. Frank and I left the office and drove over to the jail. The boy had torn his trousers into strips and braided them into a rope. He'd attempted to take his own life. He'd been found on a routine check and had been cut down. The action had been discovered almost immediately, and by the time we got there, he was almost fully recovered. We talked to him in the interrogation room. Kind of lousy way out, isn't it, kid? He looked good at the time. How's it seem to you now? I made a mistake. How do you feel? Pretty lousy. You want to give us the name? What kind of protection do I get? How do you mean? Well, if I tell you, I gotta know he ain't going to get me. Well, we'll try to build some kind of a wall for you. You won't know it's me? No, not from us. All right. His name is Pollard Zern. You want to spell that? Yeah. And he... He's the top man? Yeah, I built the whole thing. Do you bring this stuff into the country? Yeah, Sergeant. He's got a boat. He tells people he's going fishing for Albuquer. Or is he bringing in from Mexico? Yeah, I've been with him a couple of times. He lands a boat at a beach down there, makes the contact, and then comes home. Hides the stuff and fish. Got the idea from an old movie. That way, if they look the boat over, chances are they won't find it. Nice setup, huh? Yeah, it sure worked good for him. Yeah. He made a mint, got a big house, drives a new car, and then comes home. No, not this time. Huh? He just turned a lemon. Harris Zern and the other members of the narcotics gang were tried and convicted of violation of the state Narcotics Act, a felony, and received sentence as prescribed by law. A petition was filed on John Keith Coulter, and he was made a ward of the juvenile court. After treatment, he was pronounced cured and returned to the custody of his mother. You have just heard dragnet, the authentic story of your police force and action, and starring Jack Webb, in the presentation of the United States Armed Forces Radio Service.


Okay, here we are, once again, switching sides this time. Yep, just trying to keep it fresh. On my left now. But we're correct now, we're fire and ice. Oh, no, we're not fire and ice. The people gonna, you'll see, that's gonna catch on, people are gonna start to know us that way. The fire and ice of anxiety. Yes, I know them. I got a fire and ice tickets for Friday night. Anyway, I feel like with a name like that, we're gonna disappoint people, but that's fine. We'll disappoint everybody. There's no doubt about that. I think, anyway, welcome back guys to my left or whoever. It's Lauren Rosen at the Obsessive Mind on Instagram, my friend and now frequent collaborator, which is freaking awesome. Just so fun, I love it. Yes, actual best working therapist in LA. That's right, yeah, just south. And this to my right is Drew Linsolata, The Anxious Truth, the.anxious.truth on Instagram. And he's amazing, if you're coming from my page, go follow him. He's got a podcast, he's, you know, great books. He's very, very prolific in his offerings. First official day of grad school too. It was? Initial first day, yes. How was it? I do not want to cite any more papers that talk about nature versus nurture and anxiety and depression. I'm done. I'm done for today, that's it. Okay, for today, I was like, I've got bad news. Yeah, you're doing this for the next two years. Yeah, there's a lot of citation in grad school. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Anyway, today we're going to talk about health anxiety because people have asked us to talk about it. Here is what I'm going to throw this at you right away. We have not pre-discussed this. We have no idea we're going to talk about. So I'm going to put Lauren on the spot immediately. Health anxiety in the DSM is not OCD. I know. I don't like the DSM. Can I be honest? I just was. I'm okay. You can stay with me. You just were, exactly. So yeah, it's not even an anxiety disorder in the DSM. In the DSM 5, I think it's in with the somatiform disorders. I think that's the broader category. I'm not positive on that because it's not typically something that I look into. I don't see a lot of other disorders in that realm, but of course I see a fair amount of health anxiety. But this is the problem with trying to categorize things is that we end up putting things into boxes that in many respects probably do make sense. And I'm sure that based on the research and the people who create the DSM, it does make sense. From a clinical vantage point, the idea that health anxiety and OCD are not part of the anxiety disorders is beyond me. That makes no sense to me at all. Mm-mm. No. I don't claim qualifications yet in this, but it doesn't look much different to me. The person who has health anxiety seems to exhibit all of the same issues. There's an obsession and there is just a slew of compulsions that feed that obsession. Right? But I guess my question to you is, I have some pretty strong feelings about this, but do you see a big difference between people with panic disorder and agoraphobia and OCD? Do you see a big difference with people with generalized anxiety disorder and OCD?  There's tension and release, tension and release, tension and release. That's really in the end, but I mean, you could probably argue that all of life is that. But yeah, I think no, I don't see a lot of difference. The specific fixations and the specific fears, that's the difference. Totally. It's like they're all particular phobias, basically. Yeah, I would agree with that. I would agree with that. And I guess maybe health anxiety would be a little more specific than panic disorder or agoraphobia, like non-specific phobia, but nonetheless, this is just splitting hairs. Yeah. And maybe health anxiety is a little less specific than something like arachnophobia, which is very narrowly focused or any of the like a metaphobia, which is very all about fear of throwing up, right? Like that's super narrow. And then to your point, like we get broader with things like panic disorder and agoraphobia and OCD, it's just, you know, again, it's often very specific things. So generalized anxiety, it'll pick on, but it's the same cycle. And I think maybe talking about that would be helpful for people who are listening to better appreciate how this relates to OCD, because of course there are so many videos about OCD out there, probably a lot more than health anxiety. And seeing the relationship between all of these things helps you to listen and pick out things that resonate for you. Yeah, that's a great conversation. The thing that I get all the time, since I'm generally the panic disorder and agoraphobia has been my wheelhouse and the health anxiety folks and the OCD folks and the GAD folks will say, yeah, but what's my recovery plan? What's my plan for health anxiety? I don't have to worry about driving on the block, I can do that. So they miss the principle that says, yeah, but your discomfort comes from not doing things as opposed to doing things. So you have to start not doing things. So if I walk in the door and present with health anxiety for you, what is my plan? Let's answer that question because people ask me all the time. They're probably tired of hearing me answer it. Well, no, I love that. That's such a great question. So somebody comes in and they have, let's say, anxiety about whether or not they might have cancer. And they've been to any number of doctors who have all said definitively, no, you don't currently have cancer. And yet there is this huge fear that keeps coming up for the person. The way that I'm gonna conceptualize that with them and I'm essentially in the first session, I'm gonna lay this all out for them because I think it's important that they understand this is that the whole process starts with a trigger. So, and that can be an internal trigger or an external trigger.  You might also have a physical sensation which is where this starts to appear a lot like panic disorder, agoraphobia. You might feel, I don't know, like a pinching in the area of your lungs and think, oh my gosh, what if that's lung cancer? And, or you might be walking along and see a sign for cancer treatment and all of a sudden, again, that thought pops in, oh my gosh, what if I have cancer and I don't know it? And this, of course, elicits a great deal of anxiety for somebody with this particular condition, the uncertainty and the doubt that are generated by this unknown make people feel very uncomfortable and so they do compulsions and compulsions are also known as safety behaviors and those things in my estimation are almost identical. The idea is that, okay, if I think about this, if I ruminate about this, if I try to feel and check my physical feelings and make sure that they're normal, if I call the doctor or if I avoid the doctor, if I call a friend or a family member who was with me at the last doctor's appointment who can reassure me, if I, let's see, I'm trying to think of anything else. If I take this supplement or this pill, this will prevent me from having cancer develop or whatnot, which it gets messy because of course, people do take supplements and do things to prevent, but it's when it becomes excessive. And there's the pervasive, if I Google this and I research enough about it, I can be sure that I don't have it. Yes, yep, that's a good one. Dr. Google to the not rescue, actually, as the case might be. Anti-rescue, yeah. Yeah, so yeah, so there are all of these things, these behaviors that people do, this is by no means exhaustive and people get very creative and this all results sometimes in temporary relief, which means that the next time that you're walking and you see a sign for cancer and you have that thought, you know exactly what to do with that anxiety.  And so to round this out though, because I feel like I've been talking, I wanna hear from you. Oh, that's a very good stuff. Well, thanks. But I think if we're looking at this process of trigger leads to thought, leads to feeling, leads to behavior, that's the same across the board and that negative reinforcement, that temporary relief that you, again, you don't always get it, but you get it enough that it reinforces that whole cycle that happens in panic disorder, it happens in agoraphobia, it happens in health anxiety, it happens in OCD, it happens in phobias, it happens in generalized anxiety disorder, it happens across the board.  Yeah, or they become part of the problem, they make things worse. So the plan, you know, how can I have a plan for my health anxiety while identifying what those compulsions, those safety behaviors, those rituals are, and then phasing them out. You're gonna have to work on not doing those. So when you are convinced that you must call the doctor again for the fourth time in three weeks, you have to not. And it might be, I was trying to tell people like, okay, look, it's not like you can never call the doctor ever again for the rest of your life, instantly like call Turkey, but don't call for two hours. You're gonna have to surf through two hours of discomfort. Then if you think you gotta make that call, go ahead. But the next time it better be three hours and the next time it's gonna be four hours. So that seems to work for people in a lot of instances. Yeah, delaying the behavior I think is huge and it helps people to understand that they have the capacity to tolerate that discomfort for sure.  One thing that I find particularly insidious and health things are too hard to me, the two hardest groups of people to deal with are the people with health anxiety and the metaphobes because oath will tell you that they, no, no, no, it's entirely justified. Yeah. It's entirely justified. So I like to look at health anxiety sometimes as like an uncertainty intolerance disorder really because in the end, unless you can get anything less than 100% certainty or 0% chance of cancer is unacceptable. Right, which is totally unreasonable. If it isn't zero, it's not acceptable because I'm gonna say, well, the doctor could have, the 10th doctor could have missed it. That's true. But the odds are so against that, but it doesn't matter. The odds are not zero. So I must act to get them to zero. And it can't, you can never get to zero ever with anything ever in life. No, and that's actually, I think of OCD as an intolerance, yeah, of uncertainty. Intolerance disorder, they almost all are. They all are, yeah. Like I could have a panic attack when I leave the house. So I'm not gonna leave the house. It's like, yeah, you could have a panic attack. That's a possibility. And so learning how to make space for the fact. And I think with health anxiety, because we are, we're all going to die if, you know. Just so you know. No, good for you. That's great. I mean, we could do an episode on that. I'm interested. Next month? Yeah. That's true. Me and my flows and have like Walt Disney. It's gonna be great. Good for you. So yeah, I think that because of that and recognizing that we have to make space for the fact that we are going to have illnesses, that has to be an acceptable element of our lives or it's going to take over our lives. It's either or. It's not like you either allow for uncertainty or you are consumed with trying to defeat uncertainty, which spoiler alert is not an actual, you can't do it. It's not possible. Right, it's not possible. I always find one thing that's fascinating too. And again, it's health anxiety, but yes, it spills over into all of these things. We swim in uncertainty every day, all day long. Like life arose on the planet 3.5 billion years ago and it's been uncertain every day since. So you're uncertain when you get in your car.  I could choke on that apple. It's certainly possible. There's uncertainty everywhere, but for some reason when it comes to this, my health, oh, I can't tolerate, but not that uncertainty. Everything else I can tolerate, not that. Right, and not specific. It's important. Yeah, I can't take a chance. Right, but what's interesting is that in the same breath you just said, if you get in your car, you're accepting uncertainty, that you might get into a car accident. That's your health. I know, but it's so interesting how that connection is often not made. Well, and I think part of it is the perceived control and the responsibility that we take, right? That there's, and some people are afraid of driving and afraid of getting into car accidents and that for them, that's the one that they're not willing to accept. But I think whenever somebody zeroes in on where they have the ability to prevent something catastrophic from happening, that's where it's like, well, but I could do this. I could do this thing to prevent this. And that's where, again, of course we do things to prevent bad things from happening. I take supplements, right? Because there's supposed to be, some of them are supposed to be good for my health, right? Like, okay, and that's not a problem. It doesn't deter from my life. It's not like I'm constantly looking up new supplements and I'm making sure that I'm on the right ones or something to that effect. Right. The action is not life impacting, it doesn't. Right, because it's, yeah. Well, this is where I like to go into the realm of economics. I bet you didn't expect to get that today, but. My bearings, all right, let's do it. Well, I think it's all down to opportunity cost and the law of diminishing returns. Oh boy. Yeah. I use the term life math. I'd like to think I invented that. Life math? Life math. All day long, we all do life math. There's risk reward in everything. We're calculating all day long in our heads. The variables that get plugged into life math for health anxiety are completely twisted. So you put in variables, and where I think that variable is worth 0.6, you think that variable is worth 6 million. And so it completely changes the outcome of the equation. So I like the opportunity cost, though. It's similar, very similar. I love the life math. That's excellent. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I got to say that, I don't know. I like that a lot. No, and I think, yes, the opportunity cost piece, you're looking at, okay, at a certain point. Well, and I think what's more relevant here is the element of the law of diminishing returns, because at a certain point, you're investing resources into something, but you're getting increasingly less on your return over time. So for anyone who's listening, like I'm a geek and I love economics, but the idea, and I'm somewhat limited, is that at first there's a direct correlation. This is a graph, by the way, it's a line on a graph, just so you know. So there's a direct correlation, right? Between input and output. So if I invest, let's look at like money, if I invest, I don't know, $100 into my home to get something fixed, that that's going to have a direct result in how much I could, I don't know, rent my home for, for example. So at first it's a direct input, and then you get a nice output, right? And the same thing goes for health anxiety.  If I am so consumed with trying to make sure that I don't get cancer, that I'm incapable of spending time, like meaningful time with my friends and family without asking for constant reassurance or spending all of my time in my head trying to figure it out or on my phone with Google, we've gotten to a point where the return on investment is starting to level off and eventually go down. It ultimately becomes negative. That's right, that's right. It's the point of diminishing returns and then there's the point, oh, I can't remember what it is, but there is a second point where you start to level off. Yeah, you start to level off. I would imagine, yeah, certainly less than, like it's, you start, it starts to be an added cost. So. The person who is crippled by that and is just continually involved in those compulsions and safety behaviors would probably describe a negative net effect. Yes.  Totally, me too.  But like, yeah. And out the car window. But I think recognizing we're, okay, we're trying to land right around the point of diminishing returns, which means sometimes you're gonna go a little bit further than what is going to best serve you.  And that's the point that people with health anxiety are afraid of. I'm going to miss something. I'm not gonna, I'm gonna go a little under too far or a little under far enough rather. And then I'm gonna miss the thing. I'm gonna miss the disease. But I think that's the part that makes health anxiety into certain, one day we'll do in a Metaphobia episode because that's another topic. But I think that's the part where health anxiety becomes almost unique in the resistance that it presents, at least in my community. Somebody with addict disorder or agoraphobia understands, these are irrational fears. I don't want to be like this anymore. There's no good reason for me to run back home every time I think I'm gonna have a heart attack. They recognize that and they recognize the negative impact. The person with health anxiety knows there's a negative impact but will still assert, but it's rational. There's a reason for it though. That I might miss something if I don't do this. Whereas the person with panic disorder or agoraphobia never says, but I might miss something. It's very rare. Instance by instance maybe, but what if this time it's really a heart attack? But I feel like the person with health anxiety and one of the things I hear all the time is, I have a family, I can't take that kind of chance. I have kids, I can't take that kind of chance. The disorder will rationalize why it has to continue to exist. And at some point it becomes, I can't argue, I can't try to reason with your health anxiety. I can only show you what it is. After that you're gonna have to accept or not accept that. Right, yes, absolutely. And you're right. People with OCD do this all the time too. I can't take the risk that I might murder my family. What are you talking about? Sure. And the reality is that if we want to live our lives at a certain point you, that's the choice to be made. And then I would suggest that the best choice is to accept that possibility so that you can move on with your life and live what life you have. It's ultimately, it's rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. That's what that is, right? Is I'm gonna make sure that I don't have cancer right now but the reality is it's coming. Like you can check all the time and trying to make sure that your time on the Titanic, like everything looks just so but the ship is sinking. It doesn't matter in the end.  And I'm not saying like in the metaphor two hours of your life.  One of the things I also find interesting where I think it helps, how things already starts to look a lot like OCD is, I guess you wouldn't officially call it a backdoor spike because it's officially not OCD but the person who does start to get over those compulsions who suddenly discovers I'm freaking out because I'm not scanning for cancer or I haven't checked my blood pressure in three weeks and that's what if that means I want to have a heart attack or what if so. Or what if it means that I missed the thing. You missed it, right? I missed it. I'm anxious because I'm not vigilant anymore. So it's again, it's tough. I'm not like I'm angry at the people. It's heartbreaking to see that because they break through it and then it wants to drag them back in by telling them, no, it's wrong to not do that. Yeah. Yeah. One of the things that I will say though, for like the plus column of having a disorder that you can make a reasonable argument for spending time churning or doing whatever behaviors is that in recovery it generalizes to a much broader spectrum of things in life which accepting uncertainty across the board is probably the best thing that I've learned how to do as a human, right? Like it's served me so well. And I think when you recognize, oh, it's with everything. It's with everything's uncertain that whereas if you're saying, oh, well but this thing doesn't matter. So of course I can accept uncertainty here. When you learn to accept uncertainty about the things that matter that's where real freedom is, right? It's a big deal.  This is nothing. The fact that I'm not so sure about what my tax bill is gonna be is literally nothing now. So it does, it does generalize. It puts life into perspective and it makes you so much more psychologically resilient and flexible, I think. Totally, no, that's absolutely yes. Because once you face the big thing, yeah.  Like what most people see as a threat these days, there are no threats. I see almost no threats in the world anymore. There are, don't get me wrong, there are but they are very small list now because. And when they come up, I don't know because I certainly have, there are threats. There are threats in the world. I'm not trying to dismiss the world, they're all. Totally, and even things that make me anxious, right? But when they come up, it's sort of like, all right, well, here it is. I'm not gonna, I don't have any control over it. So I guess we'll see, that there's either do something about this and if I can't, oh well. I guess I'll have to wait to see tomorrow and see what happens. Yeah, so if you can get past the health anxiety thing as difficult as we both know that that is, the rewards are really something. Yeah, yeah, for sure. So I think it's all down to limiting behavior to what's reasonable in terms of practical application of this is saying, okay, well, it's reasonable to get a second opinion on something, probably not to get a 15th, you know? Yeah, that's true. And I think in the end it becomes, and it's hard to find that point. I always try and say, look, if you feel like the thing that you're going to do, or you feel compelled to do to stay safe, is a thing you would have to explain to me why you have to do that? You probably don't have to do that. That's such a good, yeah. Well, whether it explain to me, Lauren, a friend, your mother, who doesn't matter, the guy at the grocery store, if somebody would look at you sideways and say, why are you doing that? There's a really good chance that you probably don't have to do that. Yeah, and ultimately you have to accept uncertainty in order to move on. You have to accept that maybe that is the right choice because that's where people want to find that point. It's the same thing with the law of diminishing returns. They want to find the exact point when they're maximizing the results of what they're putting in and they're not willing to go below that. And the reality is you have to be willing to not get there, to not get to that exact point. You might fall shy of it a couple of points and that's the price of freedom. Yeah, sometimes you'll miss the mark. But I think sometimes, if the mark is here, sometimes like you said, you're above it, you're below it, there's no way you can lock it in. It's not a groove, it's a target and it floats. And sometimes you miss it and sometimes you get it. Right, and that's where you have to be willing to sometimes make the mistake of doing compulsions or safety behaviors too. And it's not, the aim isn't to be absolutely free, right? Of doing all behaviors. But maybe sometimes you make the extra call to your doctor and in retrospect you go, oh, I didn't. I didn't have to do that. Yeah, but you don't need to now beat yourself up over it or try to get recovery so perfect and not make, make sure that you only make the right amount of calls because then you've turned recovery into just another way to do it right and to fix it and it's compulsive. That was worth the price of admission right there, folks. Those last two minutes, yeah. Yeah, well, you too. Sometimes you get it wrong and it doesn't mean you failed and you're crashing and burning. It just means, well, what can I learn from that? Exactly, exactly. So good. I love our conversations. I know, it's so fun. Like, we could do these every day. So we'll do it again next week for sure. Anyway, we'll wrap it up. That's health anxiety. We could talk about this. People with health anxiety would listen to us talk about this for a day, like a marathon. Totally, oh my gosh.  Yeah. You'd have to be like, okay, I'm out. I can add it. Yeah, really? Is this still happening? Well, I'm sure if you guys have questions or comments, by all means, throw them in the comment section wherever you happen to be watching this, which really is either my YouTube or maybe, I don't know if you post these on Instagram. I don't post them on Instagram. I haven't posted them on Instagram. They're just on YouTube, I think. But although I can, because they're great. Like, you know, I think. Yeah, by all means, I've had it. But anyway, if you want to ask questions, ask them in the comment section and we'll be happy to answer them of course. And I'll put it up on the screen if you're coming from my side of the fence and you do not follow Lauren, here she is at the obsessive line on Instagram. So go get that because it's all good stuff. And this is Drew. Don't forget the dot anxious dot truth. Go follow that guy. He's awesome. He's got lots of good stuff to say. Oh, thank you very much. All right guys, I guess we do this every month. I don't know we're gonna talk about next month, but we'll do it again. So. This is a surprise. You have a topic that you want to suggest, throw that in the comments also and we'll throw it in the hopper. All right, sounds good. See you next time. Bye. Awkward end the record.


CHAPTER XI. THE NIGHT ATTACK. The Harmer men were not naturally lazy. They were, in the days before the coming of the Great Sloth, a most energetic and industrious people. Now that the Sloth was obliged to work eight hours a day, the weight of its constant and catching sleepiness was taken away, and the people set to work in good earnest. I did explain, didn't I, that the Great Sloth's sleepiness really was catching like measles. So now the Harmer men were as busy as ants. Some dug the channel for the new stream, some set to work to restore the buildings, while others weeded the overgrown gardens and plowed the deserted fields. The head Harmer men painted in large letters on a column in the marketplace these words. This city is now called by its ancient name of Briskford. Any citizen found calling its somnolentia will not be allowed to wash in water for a week. The head man was full of schemes, the least of which was the lighting of the town by electricity, the power to be supplied by the Great Sloth. He can't go on pumping eight hours a day, said the head man. I can easily adjust the machine to all sorts of other uses. In the evening a banquet was, of course, given to the deliverers. The banquet was all pineapple and water, because there had been no time to make or get anything else, but the speeches were very flattering, and Philip and Lucy were very pleased, more so than Brenda, who did not like pineapple, and made but little effort to conceal her disappointment. Max accepted bits of pineapple out of politeness, and hid them among the feet of the guests, so that nobody's feelings should be hurt. I don't know how we to get back to the island, said Philip next day. Now we've lost the lightning loose. I think we'd better go back by way of polystopolis, said Lucy, and find out who's been opening the books. If they go on, they may let simply anything out. And if the worst comes to the worst, perhaps we could get someone to help us to open the teal-book again, and get the teal out to cross to the island in. Lou, said Philip, with feeling, you're clever, really clever. No, I'm not kidding, I mean it. And I'm sorry I ever said you were only a girl. But how are we to get to polystopolis? It was a difficult problem. The head man could offer no suggestions. It was Brenda, who suggested asking the advice of the great sloz. He is such a fine figure of an animal, she said admiringly. So handsome and distinguished looking. I am sure he must have a really great mind. I always think good looks go with really great minds. Don't you, dear Lucy? We might as well, said Philip, if no one can think of anything else. No one could, so they decided to take Brenda's advice. Now that the sloz worked every day, it was not nearly so disagreeable as it had been when it slept so much. The children approached it at the dinner hour, and it listened patiently, if drowsily, to their question. When it had quite done it reflected, or seemed to reflect, perhaps it had fallen asleep, until the town clock struck one, the time for resuming work. Then it got up and slouched towards its machine. Q, cumbers, it said, and began to turn the handle of its wheel. They had to wait till tea-time to ask it what it meant, for in that town the rule about not speaking to the man at the wheel was strictly enforced. Q, cumbers, the sloz repeated, and added a careful explanation. You sit on the end of any young cucumber, which points in the desired direction. And when it has grown to its full length, say sixteen inches. Why, then, you are sixteen inches on your way. But that's not much, said Lucy. Every little helps, said the sloz, more haste, less speed. Then you wait till the cucumber seeds, and when the new plants grow, you select the earliest cucumber that points in the desired direction, and take your seat on it. By the end of the cucumber season, you will be another sixteen, or with luck, seventeen inches on your way, thirty-two inches in all, almost a yard, and thus you progress towards your goal, slowly but surely, like in politics. Thank you very much, said Philip. We will think it over. But it did not need much thought. If we could get a motor car, said Philip, if you can get machines by wishing for them. The very thing, said Lucy, let's find the headman. We mustn't wish for a motor, or we should have to go on using it. But perhaps there's someone here who'd like to drive a motor for his living, you know. There was. A helmer man, with an inborn taste for machinery, had long pined to leave the gathering of pineapples to others. He was induced to wish for a motor, and a BSA sixty-horsepower car snorted suddenly in the place where a moment before no car was. Oh, the luxury! This is indeed like home! sighed Brenda, curling up on the air cushions. And the children certainly felt a gloriously restful sensation. Nothing to be done, no need to think or bother, just to sit quiet and be born swiftly on through wonderful cities, all of which Philip vaguely remembered to have seen small and near and built by his own hands and helens. And so at last they came close to Polystopolis. Philip never could tell how it was that he stopped the car outside the city. It must have been some quite unaccountable instinct, because naturally, you know, when you're not used to being driven in motors, you like to dash up to the house you're going to and enjoy your friend's enjoyment of the grand way in which you have travelled. But Philip felt, in that quite certain and quite unexplainable way in which you do feel things sometimes, that it was best to stop the car among the suburban groves of Southernwood and to creep into the town in the disguise afforded by motorcoats, motor veils, and motor goggles. For, of course, all these had come with the motor car when it was wished for, because no motor car is complete without them. They said good-bye warmly to the helmer motorman, and went quietly towards the town, Max and Brenda keeping to heel in the most praiseworthy way, and the parrot nestling inside Philip's jacket, for it was chilled by the long rush through the evening air. And now the scattered houses and spacious gardens gave place to the streets of Polystopolis, the capital of the kingdom. And the streets were strangely deserted. The children both felt, in that quite certain and unexplainable way, that it would be unwise of them to go to the place where they had slept the last time they were in that city. The whole party was very tired. Max walked with drooping tail, and Brenda was whining softly to herself from sheer weariness and weak-mindedness. The parrot alone was happy, or at least contented, because it was asleep. At the corner of a little square planted with Southernwood trees in tubs, Philip called a halt. Where shall we go? he said. Let us put it to the vote. And even as he spoke, he saw a dark form creeping along in the shadow of the houses. Who goes there? Philip cried with proper spirit, and the answer surprised him, all the more that it was given with a kind of desperate bravado. I go here. I, plumbiest captain of the old guard of Polystopolis. Oh, it's you! cried Philip. I am glad you can advise us. Where can we go to sleep? Somehow or other I don't care to go to the house where we stayed before. The captain made no answer. He simply caught at the hands of Lucy and Philip, dragged them through a low-arched doorway, and as soon as the long lengths of Brenda and Max had slipped through, closed the door. Safe! he said in a breathless way, which made Philip feel that safety was the last thing one could count on at that moment. Now speak low. Who knows what spies may be listening? I am a plain man. I speak as I think. You came out of the unknown. You may be the deliverer or the destroyer, but I am a judge of faces, always was, from a boy, and I cannot believe that this countenance of apple-cheeked innocence is that of a destroyer. Philip was angry, and Lucy was furious. So he said nothing, and she said, Apple-cheeked yourself, which was very rude. I see that you are annoyed, said the captain in the dark, where of course he could see nothing. But in calling your friend Apple-cheeked, I was merely offering the highest compliment in my power. The absence of fruit in this city is, I suppose, the reason why our compliments are like that. I believe poets say, sweet as a rose, we say, sweet as an orange. May I be allowed unreservedly to apologise? Oh, that's all right, said Philip awkwardly. And to ask whether you are the deliverer? I hope so, said Philip modestly.  And he has done six deeds out of the seven already. It is time that deeds were done here, said the captain. I'll make a light and get you some supper. I'm in hiding here, but the walls are thick and all the shutters are shut. He bolted a door and opened the slide of a dark lantern. Some of us have taken refuge in the old prison. He said, it's never used, you know, so her spies don't infest it, as they do every other part of the city. Who's spies? The destroyers, said the captain, getting bread and milk out of a cupboard. At least if you're the deliverer, she must be that. But she says she's the deliverer. He lighted candles and set them on the table, as Lucy asked eagerly. What destroyer? Is it a horrid woman in a motovail? You've guessed it, said the captain gloomily. It's that pretendorette, said Philip. Does Mr. Noah know? What has she been doing? Everything you can think of, said the captain. She says she's queen, and that she's done the seven deeds. And Mr. Noah doesn't know, because she set a guard round the city, and no message can get out or in. The hippogriff, said Lucy. Yes, of course I thought of that, said the captain, and so did she. She's locked it up and thrown the key into one of the municipal wells. But why do the guards obey her? Philip asked. They're not our guards, of course, the captain answered. They're strange soldiers that she got out of a book. She got the people to pull down the Hall of Justice by pretending there was fruit in the gigantic books it's built with. And when the book was opened, these soldiers came marching out. The Sikwani and the Aedui, they call themselves. And when you finish supper, we ought to hold a council. There are a lot of us here, all sorts. Distinctions of rank are forgotten in times of public peril. Some twenty or thirty people presently gathered in that round room, from whose windows Philip and Lucy had looked out when they were first imprisoned. There were indeed all sorts—match servants, domino men, soldiers, china men, Mr Noah's three sons and his wife, a pirate, and a couple of sailors. What book, Philip asked Lucy in an undertone, did she get these soldiers out of? Caesar, I think, said Lucy, and I'm afraid it was my fault. I remember telling her about the barbarians and the legions and things after father had told me, when she was my nurse, you know. She's very clever at thinking of horrid things to do, isn't she? The council talked for two hours, and nobody said anything worth mentioning. When everyone was quite tired out, everyone went to bed. It was Philip who woken the night in the grasp of a sudden idea. What is it? Asked Max, rousing himself from his warm bed at Philip's feet. I thought of something, said Philip, in a low excited voice. I'm going to have a night attack. Shall I wake the others? Asked Max, ever ready to oblige. Philip thought a moment, then, no, he said, it's rather dangerous, and besides, I want to do it all by myself. Lucy's done more than her share already. Look out, Max, I'm going to get up and go out. He got up, and he went out. There was a faint grain as of dawn now, which showed him the great square of the city, on which he and Lucy had looked from the prison window a very long time ago, as it seemed. He found without difficulty the ruins of the Hall of Justice, and among the vast blocks scattered on the ground was one that seemed of grey marble, and bore on its back, in gigantic letters of gold, the words De Bello Gallico. Philip stole back to the prison and roused the captain. I want twenty picked men, he said, without boots, and at once. He got them, and he led them to the ruins of the Justice Hall. Now, he said, raise the cover of this book, only the cover, not any of the pages. The men set their shoulders to the marble slab that was the book's cover, and heaved it up. And as it rose on their shoulders, Philip spoke softly, urgently. Caesar, he said, Caesar, and a voice answered from under the marble slab. Who calls, it said, who calls upon Julius Caesar? And from the space below the slab, as it were from a marble tomb, a thin figure stepped out, clothed in toga and cloak, and wearing on its head a crown of bays. I called, said Philip, in a voice that trembled a little. There's no one but you who can help. The barbarians of Gaul hold this city. I call on great Caesar to drive them away. No one else can help us. Caesar stood for a moment silent in the grey twilight. Then he spoke. I will do it, he said. You have often tried to master Caesar and always failed. Now you shall be no more ashamed of that failure, for you shall see Caesar's power. Bid your slaves raise the leaves of my book to the number of fifteen. It was done, and Caesar turned towards the enormous open book. Come forth, he said. Come forth, my legions. Then something in the book moved suddenly, and out of it, as out of an open marble tomb, came long lines of silent armed men, ranged themselves in ranks, and passing Caesar saluted. And still more came, and more, and more, each with the round shield, and the shining helmet, and the javelins, and the terrible short sword. And on their backs were the packages they used to carry with them into war. The barbarians of Gaul are loose in this city, said the voice of the great commander.  Wither, O Caesar, asked one of the Roman generals. Drive them, O Titus Labienus, said Caesar, back into that book wherein I set them more than nineteen hundred years ago, and from which they have dared to escape. Who is their leader? he asked of Philip. The pretenderette, said Philip, a woman in a motor veil. Caesar does not war with women, said the man in the laurel crown. Let her be taken prisoner and brought before me. Low voiced the generals of Caesar's army gave their commands, and with incredible quietness the army moved away, spreading itself out in all directions. She has caged the hippogriff, said Philip, the winged horse, and we want to send him with a message. See that the beast is freed, said Caesar, and turned to Plumbia's the captain. We be soldiers together, he said. Lead me to the main gate, it is there that the fight will be fiercest. He laid a hand on the captain's shoulder, and at the head of the last legion, Caesar and the captain of the soldiers marched to the main gate. End of Chapter 11, Recording by Ruth Golding Chapter 12 of The Magic City This Librivox recording is in the public domain. The Magic City by E. Nesbitt Chapter 12 The End Philip tore back to the prison to be met at the door by Lucy.  I couldn't help it, he said. I did want to do something by myself. And Lucy understood. And besides, he said, I was coming back for you. Don't be snarky about it, Lou. I've called up Caesar himself, and you shall see him before he goes back into the book. Come on, if we're sharp we can hide in the ruins of the Justice Hall and see everything. I noticed there was a bit of the gallery left standing.  I sent the parrot off ages ago. And you never told me. Then I think that's quick, don't you? Lucy had a short struggle with herself. You know those unpleasant and difficult struggles, I'm sure. And said, Righto! And together they ran back to the Justice Hall. The light was growing every moment, and there was now a sound of movement in the city. Women came down to the public fountains to draw water, and boys swept the paths and doorsteps. That sort of work goes on even when barbarians are surrounding a town. And the ordinary sounds of a town's awakening came to Lucy and Philip as they waited, crowing cocks and barking dogs and cats mewing faintly for the morning milk. But it was not for those sounds that Lucy and Philip were waiting. So through those homely and familiar sounds, they listened, listened, listened, and very gradually, so that they could neither of them have said at any moment, Now it has begun. Yet quite beyond mistake the sound for which they listened was presently loud in their ears. And it was the sound of steel on steel, the sound of men shouting in the breathless moment between sword stroke and sword stroke, the cry of victory and the wail of defeat, and presently the sound of feet that ran. And now a man shot up from a side street and ran across the square towards the Palace of Justice where Lucy and Philip were hidden in the gallery, and now another and another all running hard and making for the ruined hall as hunted creatures make for cover. Rough, big, blonde, their long hair flying behind them, and their tunics of beast skins flapping as they ran, the barbarians fled before the legions of Caesar. The great marble-covered book that looked like a marble tomb was still open. Its cover and fifteen leaves propped up against the tall broken columns of the gateway of the Justice Hall. Into that open book leapt the first barbarian, leapt and vanished, and the next after him, and the next, and then by twos and threes and sixes and sevens they leapt in and disappeared, amidst gasping and shouting and the nearing sound of the butchiner and the trumpets of Rome. Then from all quarters of the city the Roman soldiers came trooping, and as the last of the barbarians plunged headlong into the open book, the Romans formed into ordered lines and waited while a man might count ten. Then, advancing between their ranks, came the spare form and thin face of the man with the laurel crown. Twelve thousand swords flashed in air, and wavered a little like reeds in the breeze, then steadied themselves, and the shout went up from twelve thousand throats, Ave Caesar! And without haste and without delay the Romans filed through the ruins to the marble covered book, and two by two entered it and disappeared. Each, as he passed the mighty conqueror, saluted him with proud, mute reverence. When the last soldier was hidden in the book, Caesar looked round him a little wistfully. I must speak to him! I must! Lucy cried. I must!  She ran down the steps from the gallery and straight to Caesar. He smiled when she reached him and gently pinched her ear, fancy going through the rest of your life, hearing all the voices of the world through an ear that has been pinched by Caesar. Oh, thank you! Thank you! said Philip. How splendid you are! I'll swat up my latin like anything next term so as to read about you. Are they all in? Lucy asked. I do hope nobody was hurt. Caesar smiled. A most unreasonable wish, my child, after a great battle. He said. But for once the unreasonable is the inevitable. Nobody was hurt. You see, it was necessary to get every man back into the book just as he left it. Well, what would the schoolmasters have done? There remain now only my own God who have in charge the false woman who let loose the barbarians, and here they come. Surrounded by a guard with drawn swords, the pretenderette advanced slowly. Hail, woman! said Caesar. Hail, whoever you are! said the pretenderette very sulkily. I hail, said Caesar, your courage! Philip and Lucy looked at each other. Yes, the pretenderette had courage. They had not thought of that before. All the attempts she had made against them. She alone in a strange land. Yes, these needed courage. And I demand to know how you came here. When I found he had been at his building again, she said, pointing a contemptuous thumb at Philip. I was just going to pull it down, and I knocked down a brick or two with my sleeve. And not thinking what I was doing, I built them up again. And then I got a bit giddy, and the whole thing seemed to begin to grow. Candlesticks, and bricks, and dominoes, and everything. Bigger, and bigger, and bigger. And I looked in. It was as big as a church by this time, and I saw that boy losing his way among the candlestick pillars, and I followed him, and I listened. And I thought I could be as good a deliverer as anybody else. And the motor veil that I was going to catch the 237 train in was a fine disguise. You tried to injure the children.  But at the beginning I didn't think any of it was real. I thought it was a dream. You can let your evil passions go in a dream, and it don't hurt anyone. It hurts you, Caesar said. Oh, that's no odds, said the pretenderette scornfully. You sought to injure and confound the children at every turn, said Caesar, even when you found that things were real. I saw there was a chance of being queen, said the pretenderette, and I took it. Seems to me you've no occasion to talk if you're Julius Caesar, the same as the bust in the library. You took what you could get right enough in your time when all said and done. I hail, said Caesar again, your courage.  My game's up now, and I'll speak my mind if I die for it. You don't understand.  What do you think it's like to know if you'd just been born in a gentleman's mansion, instead of in a model workman's dwelling? You'd have been brought up as a young lady, and had the open work silk stockings, and the lace on your underpetticoats. You go too deep for me, said Caesar, with the ghost of a smile. I now pronounce your sentence. But life has pronounced on you a sentence worse than any I can give you. Nobody loves you. Oh, you old silly, said the pretenderette in a burst of angry tears. Don't you see that's just why everything's happened?  You will be taken to Briskford, where you will teach the great Sloth to like his work, and keep him awake for eight play hours a day. In the intervals of your toil you must try to get fond of someone. The Halmer people are kind and gentle. You will not find them hard to love. And when the great Sloth loves his work, and the Halmer people are so fond of you that they feel they cannot bear to lose you, your penance will be over. And you can go where you will, said the pretenderette, still tearful and furious. That if that ever happened I shouldn't want to go anywhere else. Yes, said Caesar slowly, I know. Lucy would have liked to kiss the pretenderette and say she was sorry, but you can't do that when it is all other people's fault and they aren't sorry. And besides, before all these people it would have looked like showing off. You know, I am sure, exactly how Lucy felt. The pretenderette was led away, and now Caesar stood facing the children, his hands held out in farewell. The growing light of early morning transfigures his face, and to Philip it suddenly seemed to be most remarkably like the face of that man. Mr. Peter Graham, whom Helen had married. He was just telling himself not to be a duffer, when Lucy cried out in a loud, cracked sounding voice, Daddy! Oh, Daddy! and sprang forward. And at that moment the sun rose above the city wall, and its rays gleamed redly on the helmet and the breastplate, and the shield and the sword of Caesar. The light struck at the children's eyes like a blow. Dazzled they closed their eyes, and when they opened them, blinking and confused, Caesar was gone, and the marble book was closed, forever. Three days later Mr. Noah arrived by elephant, and the meeting between him and the children is, as they say, better imagined than described, especially as there is not much time left now for describing anything. Mr. Noah explained that the freeing of polystopolus from the pretendorette and the barbarians counted as the seventh deed, and that Philip had now attained the rank of king, the deed of the great sloth having given him the title of Prince of Pineapples. His expression of gratitude and admiration were of the warmest, and Philip felt that it was rather ungrateful of him to say, as he couldn't help, saying, No, I've done all the deeds, meant I go back to Helen. All in good time, said Mr. Noah, I will at once set about the arrangements for your coronation. The coronation was an occasion of unexampled splendour. There was a banquet, of course, and fireworks, and all the guns fired salutes, and the soldiers presented arms, and the ladies presented bouquets, and at the end Mr. Noah, with a few well-chosen words which brought tears to all eyes, placed the gold crown of polystarchia upon the brow of Philip, where its diamonds and rubies shone dazzlingly. There was an extra crown for Lucy made of silver and pearls and pale silvery moonstones. You have no idea how the polystarchians shouted. And now, said Mr. Noah, when it was all over, I regret to inform you that we must part. Polystarchia is a republic, and, of course, in a republic kings and queens are not permitted to exist. Partings are painful things, and you had better go at once. He was plainly very much upset. This is very sudden, said Philip. And Lucy said, I do think it's silly. How shall we get home, all in a hurry like this? How did you get here? By building a house and getting into it. Then build your own house. Oh, we have models of all the houses you were ever in. The pieces are all numbered. You only have to put them together. He led them to a large room behind the hall of public amusements, and took down from a shelf a stout box labelled the Grange, on another box Philip saw Laburnum Cottage. Mr. Noah, kneeling on his yellow mat, tumbled the contents of the box out on the floor, and Philip and Lucy set to work to build a house with the exquisitely finished little blocks and stones and beams and windows and chimneys. I cannot bear to see you go, said Mr. Noah. Goodbye, goodbye. Remember me sometimes. We shall never forget you, said the children, jumping up hugging him. Goodbye, said the parrot who had followed them in. Goodbye, goodbye, said everybody. I wish the lightning loose was not lost. Philip, even at this parting moment, remembered to say. She isn't, said Mr. Noah. She flew back to the island directly you left her. Sales are called wings, are they not? White wings that never grow weary, you know. Relieved of your weight, the faithful yacht flew home like any pigeon. Hurray! said Philip. I couldn't bear to think of her rotting away in a cavern. I wish Max and Brenda had come to say goodbye, said Lucy. It is not needed, said Mr. Noah mysteriously. And then everybody said goodbye again, and Mr. Noah rolled up his yellow mat, put it under his arm again, and went, forever. The children built the Grange, and when the beautiful little model of that house was there before them, perfect, they stood still a moment, looking at it. I wish we could be two people each, said Lucy. And one of each of us go home, and one of each of us stay here. Oh! she cried suddenly, and snatched at Philip's arm, for a slight strange giddiness had suddenly caught her.  The children gazed about them, bewildered, and still a little giddy. The room was gone, the model of the Grange was gone. Over their heads was blue sky, under their feet was green grass, and in front stood the Grange itself, with its front door wide open, and on the steps Helen and Mr. Peter Graham. That telegram had brought them home. You will wonder how Lucy explained where she had been when she was lost. She never did explain. There are some things as you know that cannot be explained. But the curious thing is, that no one ever asked for an explanation. The grown-ups must have thought they knew all about it, which, of course, was very far from being the truth. When the four people on the doorstep of the Grange had finished saying how glad they were to see each other, that day on the steps, when Philip and Lucy came back from Polystarchia, Helen and Mr. Peter Graham came back from Belgium, Helen said, And we've brought to you each the loveliest present. Fetch them, Peter, there's a dear. Mr. Peter Graham went to the stable-yard, and came back, followed by two long, tan Daxons, who rushed up to the children, frisking and forning in a way they well knew. Why, Max, why, Brenda, cried Philip. Oh, Helen, are they for us? Yes, dear, of course they are, said Helen. But how did you know their names? That was one of the things which Philip could not tell then. But he told Helen the whole story later, and she said it was wonderful, and how clever of him to make all that up, and that when he was a man he would be able to be an author and to write books. And do you know, she said, I did dream about the island, quite a long dream, only when I woke up I could only remember that I'd been there and seen you. But no doubt I dreamed about Mr. Noah, and all the rest of it as well, only I forgot it. And Max and Brenda, of course, loved everyone. Their characters were quite unchanged. Only the children had forgotten the language of animals, so that conversation between them and the dogs was for ever impossible. But Max and Brenda understand every word you say, anyone can see that. You want to know what became of the red-headed, steely-eyed nurse, the pretendorette, who made so much mischief and trouble. Well, I suppose she is still living with the Halmer folk, teaching the great sloth to like his work, and learning to be fond of people, which is the only way to be happy. At any rate, no one that I know of has ever seen her again anywhere else. The End of The Magic City by E. Nesbitt. Recording by Ruth Golding.


Welcome back. At least 42 people were killed in various attacks by non-state actors across Nigeria last week, precisely from February 6th to February 12th. About 11 of those killed were security personnel, including 10 police officers and one soldier. The others were civilians and despite the slight decline when compared to the previous week where at least 45 persons were killed. It is still a warring indicator of the state of security in the nation. All the killings were reported in the three of Nigeria's six regions, the southwest, southeast and the northwest. And joining us to analyze these developments is Lawrence Alobi, who is a former commissioner of the Nigeria Police Force. Miss Alobi, thank you very much for your time. It's Nigeria inching closer towards being a failed state, looking at and going by the state of security lapses and the insecurity in the country. Yeah, the security of the country is very disturbing and alarming. And most of which is worse than the fact that those who are supposed to protect us and should have more than one thing are not being attacked and killed. I mean this is the situation now, that the way I see it right now is too heavy for anarchy because missions are built on law and order. And that's why station 14B of the country provides that the prime force of the government, security and welfare of the people. And if the security, those who are supposed to supply security are not being attacked, they are being born, they are thinking of being born, they are working with whom they lie on now, because the society has no other place to look on to, to look on to the police. And that is why it is incumbent on the society to support the police, to encourage the police, to ensure the police perform all the money for the equipment on the side. And if the police do have a duty to ensure that they cut out their duties in line with the government, post-nationary and code of conduct. So the police is putting their best to ensure that the citizens also deserve the best. But again, they put it into their courage and their power to enable them. Today, the police is trying to understand that the people are trying to wear their uniform. So I sometimes help them for the society, so about the implication, you can't help them for the society at all, no strategy can be seen without the police. So we have a duty to ensure the police also is being trained and being sent in and not to be beaten. Lawrence and Lobie, let's also look at the reason why these police officers are being killed. What could be responsible? Now, some quotas are saying that it might just be because the Nigerian police is not properly kitted. I mean, when compared to the counterparts outside of the country. Now, recently, just last year, remember that the Lagos State Security Fund had mentioned that it would cost three million dollars to have a particular police officer kitted.  So do you agree with these persons who are saying that the reason why they are being killed, the way they are being killed, could be because they don't have what it takes to defend themselves when these attacks actually come? Yeah, that is a notorious fact. If you see an American police officer, Nigerian police officer, officer of Nigerian police officer is fully kitted with all the gadgets that it needs to be effective in this country due to him. Even also to protect him. Our police man, he was, he carried 8K for the seven, nothing with him, no competition, no walking, talking, nothing, no protective vest, no more vest. And you see, when our men go outside this country, they are treated as one of the best in the world. But because of Nigerian environment, they are seen as the worst. The government itself is salty. The police itself is a victim system. They push down, he's not equipped, he's not well funded, he's not well trained, he's not well but he's a veteran and he wants to get him to be the best. He makes him to be very vulnerable, he's not very vulnerable. And I guess society's way is that people don't have the culture of being to the law. When we think that we are smart, when we go against the law, we say we are smart. And that is where the policeman is, he's not there, he's not empowered to enforce the law. Then he became the city sufferer. And now the police man is also suffering. For my CP, some of these things that you've pointed out, I would like to believe the challenges that were faced in your time as commissioner of police and these challenges as far as police welfare is concerned, logistics and all that, are still being faced today. I ask the question, what do you think we're inching closer towards being a failed state? Because you have policemen on the run. We've seen the pictures and videos, they're being killed and they're on the run. They're running away from attackers on non-government bandits, call it what you may. But if you choose not to answer that question directly, do you see the situation improving anytime soon? Yeah, it is all improved. And if the government has a political reason, so we must fix our Nigerian police force for the benefit of Nigerian citizens, but for the benefit of the country. But when we play the politics, some of us, some of the people who are there, they bring me out to destroy the police. The police are not well-connected, they're not well equipped to get police, but as we don't have, they don't have logistics, some policemen don't have patrol vehicles, no communication. And this is a political today, it's not carried driven. And with that technology, it cannot function effectively. So the police themselves are not empowered to perform their functions in and with the mandate of the acts of the police act. So I think the government is the one to stand up. And the scientists stand up and see how the police is our police, how the police and the police fix our apprenticeships. In fact, the good aspect of NTA, NTA's protest is that NTA will say that police should be reformed, because they saw the results, the results of the police, and they were concerned with that because if the police is not picked, the police are empowered and motivated and strengthened to effectively decide to suffer.  I know where it's meant to, I know where it's meant to bring this up, and how it brings up against the police or do that. The police and the primary agencies try to send us security. Okay, finally, Ms. Aloubi, because of time, yeah, Ms. Aloubi, because of time, I just want you to answer this in AS or no. Is it time for us to decentralize the policing in the country and allow the states or regions? All right, all right, all right. Thank you very much, sir. I'm sorry that's so much you're going to take as far as this conversation is consumable. We totally appreciate your time and given us your expert analysis as well. Lawrence Aloubi is a former commissioner of the Nigeria Police Force and has been a guest on the breakfasts on Plus TV Africa. Gentlemen, thank you so much for being part of the show. We do appreciate and everyone that has been part of the breakfast this morning. The show returns tomorrow, seven o'clock is the time up until now. And if you miss that on any part of the conversation, it's all right to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, or Plus TV Africa, and do subscribe to our YouTube channel, Plus TV Africa Lifestyle. I am Messy Boko, have a fantastic Tuesday. And I'm Kofi Bartel, so return tomorrow. Good morning.


Hey everyone, welcome to Archland and we're here to review Zelvinath Before you guys decide on if you're gonna be pulling for her or not Let's review her kit first and let's see if she is worth your pulse. Okay, so let's move on to her banner first So her banner is here. Here are her skills or traits that you can check out so Zelvinath is a assassin she's a dark element which makes her Not vulnerable to the three primary elements Which is green red and blue. So she's only going to be Vulnerable to light so take note of that guys if you decide on an element but in terms of her skill if you if you've seen actually my Thumbnail it's an as she's I describe her as an AOE Assassin, okay, why is that? Well, we'll go to the demo later and see how her skills are used particularly she has a lot of debuffs actually and also What I see in her skills. She could be a mage killer because she adds Additional damage to Mages, let's go over her traits. So these are a few that are being quipped. So this one is seal skill passives are sealed This one gives additional damage to two mages this one is also a fixed damage To win within the vicinity of viewer enemies a translation is a bit off So let's move to her traits. So this one is related to a debuff So the theme for her is still a debuff So this one is armored shred. So lowers down physical defense This one is Attacking a single enemy Again, the translation is a bit off because every time you move a car is indicated here Really funny. This one is the one that deals additional damage to mages and these are Her additional bonuses if you have these heroes this one is fixed damage to all To all Enemies in we do want physical attack amount of damage blah blah blah and this one is also additional Physical attack and physical defense plus tense So traditionally, she's an assassin, but she has a lot in her kit. She really has more aoe than most of Most of the assets that we have except for I think Michael and let's move on to her demo grice and see how she's being used Okay, so for her hero experience so take note again that she is an assassin you need to evade and Deal damage as much as possible So the goal here is to take out all of these mages and hop through these three. I know you are already Surrounded so this one you will use this against the mages there to deal plus 20% Damage and this one You're gonna have to skip these three in order to attack this so She has nice movement. She is flying right away So which is a huge plus for an assassin and she really really looks cool with that spear So let's just confirm this and take take care of that one. So this battle is in fast forward Let me just do this a Let's move here. So again, she's she flies and This is what I mean by the aoe damage if there are a lot of mages clustered then she is really a mage killer at this point So let's use that beautiful ultimate that she has There you go So that is it that is how you use her She's quite unique again in terms of In terms of the the usual archetype for assassins, she doesn't fit the mold and Of course, she's going to be nimble.  Just be careful on How to use her so that is it guys so so far for her Zelvin us if you guys are Still looking for an assassin if you don't have If you don't have any over assassins and if you're starting the game She is actually a nice one to have Um Probably I would say that top three assassins in the game right now And with with darkness element, I don't think you could go wrong with her It's just a preference whether you're going with Zelvin out or YGG So either you're going after an assassin or a mage So again if you're going after an assassin, please make sure that she will you know She you will use her frequently and you will use her because you don't have any better assassin alternatives right now in your roster, but if you have One or two assassins already that you're using I believe that Zelvinath is not really for you because again Assassins are really meant for manual not really for auto But again, it really depends on preference at the end of the day. So that is it So if you're asking me if she's a must pull No, not really especially if you have assassins in your in your you know in your roster ready But again, if you if you dig how she looks if you like how she's being played And she is a bat in a cat. I think mixed in one. So again guys be my guest. So that is it I'm gonna be reviewing YGG so that you also have Another comparison in terms of review for both characters that have dropped recently So thank you very much guys for staying this far. Take care. Stay safe. This is the warden and I'm out of here


Dear students, in this topic we shall discuss the cardiac output and stroke volume. Cardiac output is the quantity of blood pumped into the aorta each minute by the heart. The average cardiac output per resting adult human is about 5 liters per minute. Dear students, the cardiac output is affected by and varies widely with many factors including the basic level of body metabolism, the physical activity of the body, size of the body, age and gender. These factors affect the cardiac output. Dear students, in comparison to cardiac output, which is the quantity of a minute, stroke volume is the volume of blood which is ejected from the heart by each beat of the heart. It is the difference between volume of the ventricle just before contraction which is called end diastolic volume and the volume of the ventricle at the end of a contraction which is called end systolic volume. The stroke volume is determined by dividing the cardiac output by heart rate. Mathematically, when we calculate this, we divide the cardiac output by heart rate. Changes in a stroke volume result from changes in end diastolic or end systolic volume. The end diastolic volume depends on four parameters. Number one, venous filling pressure. Number two, pressure generated during arterial contraction. Number three, distensibility, any expansion of the ventricular wall. And number four, the time available for filling the ventricle. The end systolic volume depends on two parameters. Number one, the pressures generated during ventricular systole and the pressure in the outflow chambers are channels, outflow channels that is aortic and pulmonary arteries.