My name is Leslie Hawthorne and I am the Director of Developer Relations for Elastic Search, Incorporated and Today we're going to talk about checking your privilege specifically a how-to to do this very hard thing For those in the audience who are not familiar with the term privilege This is a concept that there are certain opportunities That we are able to access not by virtue of our hard work or our intelligence But simply something that is innate about us Something that we did not choose something that we were born with So a brief example as a heterosexual female. I can go out to dinner with my partner We can hold hands and we can give one another a kiss and I need never have fear That someone will make noises of disgust about our relationship Nor do I have to be afraid that once we leave that restaurant We may be physically assaulted because someone takes umbrage with our sexual orientation And that simple fact Is in fact one of privilege So before getting started into the meat of our discussion and ways in which we can check our privilege I think it's very important to talk to everyone in the audience today about why i'm actually here giving this talk um throughout my career in the tech world which Is getting on to 15 years now I've been Equally obsessed with technology from networking to search algorithms and analytics As I have been in what I like to call the human element in development What are the processes and what are the methodologies that allow us as human beings To come together To work most effectively with one another to be able to build useful And beautiful things that matter And I also think that it's very important to be someone who brings this message To our community Because if you had asked me At the beginning of my career And in fact the first few years of my career in the technology industry If we had a problem With people being marginalized With people not having access to success in the technology industry. I would have told you no I would have told you That technology and the world of open source is a meritocracy It is a world in which we will be able to succeed Purely on the basis of our merit How hard we work the quality of our ideas Our ability to execute And through a great deal of learning reading My own lived experience And sharing the lived experiences of others who are underrepresented in the technology world I have come to realize that that is absolutely not the case And if I as someone directly impacted By marginalization in the technology industry Although potentially the least affected as a white cisgendered woman If I did not recognize the impact As someone who was Experiencing it I find it very difficult To ask those of us who have even more privilege than I do In this case, I would be referring to white men To recognize their own privilege and to combat it If I didn't see what was happening It's very hard for me to ask you to realize what's going on around you Without bringing you more information so that you can make better decisions So to lay the foundations for this talk a few ground rules First of all, these are my opinions and these are my opinions alone They are not the opinions of my employer Elasticsearch Incorporated though I am deeply grateful that they have sent me here to be with all of you today These are not the opinions of anyone other than Leslie Hawthorne I cannot speak for all women I cannot speak for people of color I cannot speak for people who are differently abled I cannot speak for people who are transgendered I can only speak to you of my own lived experience And of the research that I have done The most important goal for me today Is that we take this as an opportunity to share knowledge with one another In a judgment free way And what I mean by this is as there has been more and more discussion Around issues of diversity in the technical community And more and more understanding That we have problems that we need to solve A good number of my male colleagues have come to me privately and they've said That they are just now beginning to understand feminism They are just now beginning to understand their privilege They are finally realizing that they have things that other people will never have But they are also afraid And they are afraid that if they act They will do the wrong thing They will say the wrong thing They will be taken to task And found wanting because they made a mistake in their actions And the unfortunate consequence of that of course Is that if we take folks who now wish to be our allies Who have finally seen that there are ways in which we can correct the problems in our communities If we try hard and work together If they are too fearful to act They cannot be our allies So I want more than anything to create a judgment free environment in which we can make mistakes And have a candid dialogue together In a spirit of love and mutual respect Because what binds us all together is our humanity And as we all know to err is human And to forgive is the flying spaghetti monster as you wish So our story so far Um, I don't wish to belabor any of these points I feel like most folks in the audience are probably well aware Of the discussion around marginalized groups and the technology industry I've thrown up a few factoids on this slide for folks who may not be following the discussion actively The one that I would like to bring the most attention to is actually the very first bullet the one regarding online harassment This study was published by a group of researchers in june of this year And what they did in order to perform this experiment and do their research Was they took two bots Identically programmed One had a mail name one had a female name And they put them into chat rooms on irc for those who aren't familiar with irc internet relay chat to group online chat room And they found that the female named bots received 25 times more harassment Strident language insults You don't belong here things of that nature And remember these are the exact same bots same vocabulary Same ability to interact with users just different names clearly female and clearly male gendered names And if we think about How we talk about the open source world and the open source world as a meritocracy Where the best idea is when and it is the quality of our code that defines us And also as this meritocratic society that helps people to gain further employment because If you simply publish your source code source code openly people will be able to see What a great coder you are or they will be able to see the quality of your work If we then consider That one of the greatest resources for being an effective open source software developer IRC Is an environment in which women are 25 times more likely to experience harassment I think we are forced to consider that our meritocracy does not exist Or that women are expected to what? Thank you That women are supposed to what work 25 times harder in order to get the same things done Again does not sound very meritocratic to me So why this matters? In my ideal universe Everyone cares about this topic Because we all wish for a world of equal opportunity and equal access for every person But I am not as naive as I once was and I do not believe that everyone holds that view And certainly what I define as a just world with equal access and opportunity Is not going to be the same for everyone So instead of considering the idea simply of justice I'll bring forth another Mark of success financial success It has been widely shown in scientific literature that teams that are more diverse Create better products Have more extensive customer bases And that their customer bases are more diverse in terms of industry Meaning that in times of economic downturn These businesses are likely to be more viable because of the diversity Of their customer base If you'd like to dive into this scientific literature, I would like to recommend to you ash striden's excellent presentation Programming diversity in which she dives into all of these studies in much greater detail Absolutely excellent resource for you So if we consider then that it is not simply justice that motivates us But also our ability to earn a livelihood Surely diversity in our communities should be at the top of our minds So then let us move on to privilege and why privilege is so very very hard So we are all participants in a system and that system is called society It is us all of us human beings living together and doing things And the difficulty is for those of us who have privilege myself very much included The system defaults work for us out of the box It never occurs to us that there are any bugs in these systems because it always works on my machine every time And I first learned about these toxic system defaults when I was very young And it was when I learned about racism So when I was growing up I Grew up in a very affluent suburb in silicon valley and In the early 80s my school computer lab had six apple 2e machines In the computer lab and I of course thought everybody has six apple 2e machines in the computer lab because doesn't everyone have what is in my school No, just so we know So I did my learning in that environment But it's in terms of my social community. It was really much more focused around our church And whereas I went to school with a population that was exclusively white In my church, we had a great deal of racial diversity economic diversity, etc And my best friend when I was growing up to use her own words was a black girl Her name was adonis williams and she was a champion roller skater Gracious Incredibly Just that's the word I'm looking for it starts with the g graceful. Thank you gracious and graceful Uh wonderful human being and I loved her for many reasons particularly her compassion because I was a clumsy awkward nerd girl And every time we went roller skating I would fall down and she would never make fun of me, which was quite nice So one day she was over at my house on a play date and we were out in the backyard playing and she skinned her knee as you do So I went into the house To bring her a bandage Because why wouldn't you And I came out and I handed her this wonderful little packet of plastic I watched her open it up remove the adhesive backing and place this piece of adhesive and plastic over her knee And I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew something was really really wrong Like to the point where the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up I knew I was seeing something that was violent, but I didn't know why And I thought about it for a while and then I went aha I have my answer And I said to Donna's I am so very sorry I'm not being a good host. We don't have your band-aids I'm going to go with my mother to the supermarket and we will buy your band-aids so that the next time you come To play we will have your band-aids so that you can be comfortable here And that was when she looked at me and she told me that they didn't make band-aids for her And it would have never occurred to me that my flesh colored band-aids Were really colored for my flesh But certainly my friend Is a creature of flesh and blood as well And this my friends is why privilege is so very hard Because there are biases inherent in our system And they are so difficult to see Because they simply look like The backdrop of our lives And since the defaults are configured for us It never occurs to us to question that there are in fact defaults or that there are in fact bugs In the system So let's talk a little bit about some of the defaults we have in the technology industry This is a now famous quote by Paul Graham The gentleman who's behind Y Combinator A very famous venture capitalist And when he was talking about the sort of person that he would invest in This was his remark I can be fooled by anyone who looks like Mark Zuckerberg So let's unpack that a little bit. How does Mr. Zuckerberg look? Well, he's young He's white He likes to wear a hoodie And now let us consider that if this is the profile in our minds Of the person who is capable of being innovative Who is capable of making a product that will change the world Someone with whom we can be confident that our millions of dollars will lead to great return on investment What does that mean about everyone who does not fit into this very narrow profile Of a human being People who are not young white men wearing hoodies cannot be innovative They cannot build useful products Surely this cannot be the case And yet because of coming to situations with these pre-existing notions It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy Surely people who look like Mark Zuckerberg shall be successful because everyone who has been successfully funded has looked like Mark Zuckerberg Needless to say these defaults are highly problematic Now this is where we get into the very hard things How many of you in the audience consider yourselves to be logical rational human beings? Sometimes excellent. I see many hands Time to time excellent so It doesn't exist I like your theory and we'll subscribe to your newsletter so The difficulty is as we are busy being people who love to think right we're geeks We like to think we like to to puzzle through problems and really figure out what's going on and to get to the heart of the matter We don't think of ourselves as the kinds of people Who would behave in a manner that is exclusionary to other people? Right no one gets up in the morning and thinks I am a racist They get up in the morning and think I am a good person and I am going to work very hard to be good to other people today Or at least I would like to hope if that's not how you wake up. That's cool. But maybe you want to go hang out in the hall So If you Are in this boat of thinking that you are very logical and rational I would like to to bring to the fore a very poignant example five years ago For professional orchestras the number of female musicians was at five percent of the total population And many people regarded this as highly problematic because there were a number of very talented and accomplished women who were not able to get positions playing for orchestras and so as a way to potentially mitigate this problem An experiment was performed called blind auditions And the idea of a blind audition Is that rather than having the musician play in front of the group of people evaluating They would be playing simply behind a screen So they could not be seen while they were playing their instrument. No other changes whatsoever were made The number of women musicians and orchestras is now at 40 percent In five years from five percent to 40 percent a 35 percent increase Now I think if you asked Anyone who is a member of a professional orchestra who had evaluated musicians to join their orchestra at any time not a single one of them would have said I am a sexist Not a single one of them would have said women cannot perform well in orchestras Not a single one of them would have said Men are just better at being professional musicians than women are And yet our behavior demonstrates A great deal of hidden bias that is simply innate Due to our socialization and it takes active work To combat those hidden biases that we carry with us so Why is bias so hard? Well bias is hard because we cling to our biases We like our biases in some cases I have a bias in favor of open source software That's why I'm here today. I think open source software is better And it's a part of who I am if someone asks me what do you do for living? I would say I'm an open source software developer advocate. That's what I do It's a part of how I think of myself as a person And the most insidious thing about our biases is that we're uncomfortable that we have them in the first place As a woman who grew up in the united states I grew up in a highly racist culture And I would like to think that I am not racist Because racist people are bad Racist people are people who do not judge people according to their merits They judge them according to arbitrary criteria But at the same time I need to understand that I have these biases that they are in operation And that they do affect my behavior And that's a really uncomfortable thing to sit with To realize that though you may be well intentioned and though you may be working very very hard To be that good human being There are still things that are a part of your socialization That you don't like And that they will still affect your behavior And that's painful to understand But I would argue for you all that the discomfort is well worthwhile And that the key to this process And the way to start the journey is the development of empathy Because it is not possible To behave better towards other people and give them the things that they need Unless we understand what those needs are And we're not going to understand on the basis of our lived experience What people who have had drastically different Lived experiences are going to need or want So I'm going to propose to us five experiments That we can use to understand our own bias and check our own privilege And then use the results of those experiments To become better collaborators better communicators and to just generally level up as human beings While we are also helping to make folks who are marginalized and underrepresented in our communities feel more welcome And more safe being participants in our group dialogue So experiment number one change your speech This is a deceptively difficult experiment And the reason it is deceptively difficult is we come preloaded with any number of idiomatic phrases That we just don't think about it's just what you say And yet these phrases carry all sorts of deeper meaning That are that is is very difficult if you are not a member of that group Here is uh, you know, here's a great one This code is lame Well, that's actually an ableist slur Right it is it is neither kind nor gracious nor helpful To use lame as an adjective to describe something that is terrible And this is a very uncomfortable experiment for two reasons It's very uncomfortable because as you start performing this experiment you need to find synonyms For these turns of phrase that you've simply memorized and used without thinking And when you find yourself thinking oh, yes, I ought not to say that code is lame I ought to say that code is terrible And then to realize that your entire life you have effectively been saying That people with different physical abilities are terrible That's what you've said. It's it's it's been used as a synonym. These things mean the same thing And again sitting with that discomfort Of the realization that you have been acting in a way that you consider to be completely contrary to who you are as a human being Because of your system defaults It's it's painful. It is painful. There there is shame with it and to and to just sit with that shame and to realize that it is there And use that as a moment to realize that this is not something you want to do in the future And I would argue for you that the other reason that this is uncomfortable is how people will react to you Because the people that you spend your time with Are configured with these same defaults And they'll remember that you used to say Hi guys And now you say hi humans. How are you carbon-based life forms who understand the english language as I'm speaking it to you right now And they will react negatively they will react negatively because they're Again, their preconceived notions are also being challenged Change is hard change causes discomfort So I propose try this experiment for a while See how you go And remember that as members of a privileged group if you decide that this becomes excessively uncomfortable You can always opt out And return to your defaults And if you choose to opt out and return to your defaults then all I ask of you is the realization That people around you Who are members of these underrepresented groups don't ever get to opt out There will never be a day when this is not How language is used unless we are the ones making the choices about how we use that language There's no opting out for them Experiment number two listening to people who are not like you This is very hard for us as human beings It's hard for us because we tend to group with people who are like us Who are of our same socioeconomic status? Who are of our same race? Who have had the same uh background as we have had? And so that ability to gain empathy through other people's perspectives is very difficult Um, especially because you know the the easy answer would be Hello nice person. I see that you are not like me, but we both like stuff Perhaps you would like to be my friend that is not going to go over well, and I do not recommend that That is not a good experiment. Um a much more effective experiment Is to use social media for this purpose My favorite tool for this is twitter I follow any number of people who care about the same things that I do on twitter who are not like me Folks who are software developers who are people of color Alternative agriculture experts who are transgendered you name it And I have found out So much more about the things that I love And that I thought I deeply understood Simply through the lens of their lived experience and their perspective And that has been invaluable to me It has also helped me to increase my own empathy By understanding what their lived experience is like that is different than mine And seeing my privilege In that difference Experiment number three Changing your online persona This is very hard The action itself is quite easy I mean go change your profile picture and go And I'm bringing this to to everyone here Due to the work of a woman named Mickey Kendall She is a feminist writer in living in Chicago in the United States And Miss Kendall wakes up every morning and says that her Twitter feed is filled with racial slurs As she is an African American woman along with all sorts of other invective hate speech And things that really just ought not to be said And one day she said she had grown so tired of it She could no longer take it anymore So she changed her twitter avatar to be If I remember correctly the exact quote is a White hipster bearded guy So and she said the reactions to her Changed immediately She said no more racial slurs No more people telling her that ideas were stupid Her ideas weren't stupid people simply didn't agree with her No more nasty invective Nobody's saying terrible things to her because of the ideas that she expressed And she said she changed her profile picture back to show that she was an African American woman And immediately the hatred began again According to the results of Mickey's friends experiments who were not named Some white men who tried this experiment. They lasted two hours With their profile picture being that of a black woman And then they said they couldn't take it anymore and they needed to opt out of the experiment And they wanted to know how she made it through every day So I urge all of you to perform this experiment and just again just to see What the life is like and how different it is For people who again are not like you and to use that as an opportunity to build empathy and to make yourself into a better ally Being a good ally is challenging But I call upon myself and everyone in the audience who occupies a position of privilege In our technical community to be that ally without allies People who are members of underrepresented groups are not going to be able to succeed because we are the dominant group and that means that we hold power And people in power are those who are best poised to make positive change And this again is a very uncomfortable process because people are not used to people speaking up For other people. It's not something that's typically done There are any number of ways that you can do this but for me one of the most important ones is understanding the power dynamics in the room, especially during business meetings and discussions So women will very frequently be interrupted while they are speaking Often by someone who's making a very similar point There will be times where you will women will be in meetings and they will propose that we should implement process foo And everyone thinks about it for a moment and decides that process foo is a really bad idea And two minutes later when a white cisgendered male brings up the fact that process foo would be great suddenly everyone thinks it is the best idea in the history of time As someone who has who has experienced that myself a number of times even amongst folks who are I would like to think of them as enlightened and loving It's very frustrating and it's it's hard because those moments of inspiration that you have you learn to hide them Because people will will not take your idea seriously. So why would you share it? right and In cases like this what I've tried to do to recenter conversations would be something along the lines of Yes, bob. I really appreciate that you think that process foo is a good idea And you know as jane proposed it and initially it sounds so great that there are so many of us in the room Who think process foo is useful? How do we go ahead and move forward to implement process foo? And again being able to gently correct behavior in a spirit of love and mutual respect Is so vital because again, I think if we asked Just about anybody if they meant to hurt someone If their goal was to be malevolent I think most of us would answer no But again to err is human And experiment number five the hardest experiment of all humility Ask for help with this process And accept it humbly Um You know we will all make mistakes. We will all say the wrong thing I will say I will have those system defaults exit from my mouth and then I won't even think about them because I'm tired or I'm in a rush or Whatever. I am not at my best But I want to be at my best And this is this is very painful Um, I gave a talk similar to this at the orally open source convention in june of last year and Brought many of the messages to the audience that I'm bringing you here today And then right after the talk that very evening I was finally not gonna back a few brews with some friends because talks over And we were chatting about uh A book that we had all supposedly I thought read when we were young and I said Didn't you guys have that retard a book when you guys were going to college? And my friend was sitting there and she said I love you I Need you to realize that I'm Doing exactly what you asked me to do in your keynote.  I felt myself flush I felt the first thing going through my brain the words. Oh come on. You know what I meant. It's not that big of a deal Wrong And I also had to deal with the shame of the fact that I'd been sitting and standing in front of an audience of thousands of people all day saying Would it be great if we were all just nice to each other and spoke to each other appropriately? And we're all going to make mistakes and and and I can't I'm having trouble dealing with my own mistake In a you know enclosed company hours later So my friends this this is the hardest experiment of all to ask for help from those around you To make sure that you are being the best person that you can be And accepting that help that hope help humbly And to use that to move forward in a more positive fashion so To conclude a few tips for leveling up ways to improve your communication with everyone This is not just folks who are members of underrepresented groups, but I would argue that these are useful tips for dealing with any human being Practice active listening Active listening is the process of listening to what someone says to you and then mirroring it back to them So for example I'm really happy today because it's sunny And if I were practicing active listening, I would say Leslie it's really great for me to hear that you're having a good day Because the weather is quite good And what that tells me is that you are much more of a sunny day person than a rainy overcast day person So I've not only listened to what was being said I've echoed it back to make sure that I have a solid understanding Of what this person has just said to me because human communication is fraught with peril And I've also added some context. I have engaged with the information that I was given right I didn't just say yes, it's sunny and you're happy I'm able to tell from what you have said because I've thought about it That sunny weather makes you happier than overcast weather Now the value of active listening is not just In the process of bettering our communication by making sure we understand one another the power of active listening to me is the Forcing oneself to be present in the moment Right not just waiting for our turn to talk And when we consider that one of the things that we have been most socialized to do Is to ignore voices of those who are not members of the dominant group Forcing yourself to practice active listening is a radical act which centers you in the moment of that conversation And allows you to get past all of those Neural wirings that tell you that you don't have to pay attention to what is being said to you right now That these words are not words of value because of who is speaking them to you Thank you Guys are you gonna make me tear up? Tip number two, um This is my favorite advice to everyone um Ask more questions make fewer assumptions And what I mean by this is basically what i'm saying. I no longer Embarrass myself by saying things like oh Hi, john. How's your girlfriend? You you're dating somebody now, right only to have john say my husband and I are doing quite well Thank you very much Or those moments when you hear that my husband and my boyfriend are doing quite well Thank you very much and then you just have to go. Oh, yeah. Mmm. My heteronormative paradigm is not a thing So again ask more questions fewer assumptions Don't assume that you already know The life story of whoever stands before you based on outward signifiers Don't assume that these things are Knowledge that you already have Ask more questions be delighted when you were already right And be delighted when you find out things that you didn't know before Because you have gained more knowledge Last but not least measure your actions If there's anything the quantified self-movement has taught us it is something that cannot be measured Cannot be changed cannot be acted upon So again, there are all of these negative behaviors that we've been socialized to perform And if we're not aware of how often they're happening We can't change them So what I do is I actively Try to understand how much time and space I'm taking up in a room and in meetings that I'm in So how often am I speaking? How long do I hold the floor? How often do I interrupt other people? And am I interrupting people who are You know, am I interrupting interrupting other women? Am I interrupting the younger people in the room because I've decided that I am older and wiser and no more Am I interrupting people in the room who are people of color? Because I've been socialized that their words have no value And just do this in your next meeting where you have a more diverse group Just just one piece of paper just make some hash marks You know against some of these and ask yourself how often this happens And I guarantee you that you will be appalled You will be appalled because you think that it happens But it can't happen that often and you will get to the end of a meeting and realize that the women in the room have been Interrupted 47 times Which is really hard when there's two women in a group of 12 people Very problematic So that's all the information that I have to share with you folks today We do have some time for questions And I would also invite members of the audience who would like to share their tips for leveling up or grocking their own privilege to comment as well This doesn't just have to be a question period And thank you all for coming. I really appreciate you being here Thank you very much Leslie by the way But one useful tool I found for uncovering my own biases, which I didn't think I had was the Harvard implicit Implicit attitude tests You got to have a university website and you can go there and find a test which will test what your Implicit cognitive biases are whether you associate females with technology or males with technology for example, or whether you think Um, you know, it does word association tests basically Uh, and it's really really useful to uncover your own biases because at the end of it I thought I really do have a bias that way and then you can work to get around it Very nice. Very nice. So this is the harbour business aptitude tests. Yeah. Uh, no, it's the uh, implicit Edition tests. That's the one search for implicit associations test. Okay. Excellent. Thank you I will go and do that soon Hello nice human whose name I don't know Hi, I'd like to bring in a question from, uh, the The maker space boff last night, which was discussed but we never had a solution to And And often quoted statistic is that, um Silicon valley is comprised predominantly of people with aspergers autism, etc Um, you mentioned in your speech that one of the things To overcome these problems is empathy now, um Okay empathy is a problem for people With these issues, how do we um, right also that's Social interaction is very often a problem for these people and we do end up with socially inappropriate behaviour Which is Part of the condition yet we have to deal with these people a lot because they're very much involved in The open source and in technical fields So, um, that's an excellent question. Thank you. So, uh, again speaking only for my own experience and what has been successful for me Uh, there are folks who are neuro atypical and for them, uh, empathy is definitely challenging And that is absolutely understood What I have found most useful is to Um, explain to them in a spirit of love and mutual respect that I would like to help them learn some rules Because there are a great deal of things that, uh, do not register as signals for someone who is neuro atypical so, uh, facial Features or tone of voice modulations like this simply does not register as a tone of distress or that there's a problem In which case at that point if I see something that is a misstep That's when I will say I know you did not mean to do this But you need to realize that, um, you know standing this close to someone when you speak to them makes them very uncomfortable People tend to like to have more personal space When they are speaking to you and they can feel like your behaviour is inappropriate or threatening So, you know the best, you know, here's your policy One, two, three steps to someone give yourself a three step Benchmark when you're having those kinds of dialogues Um, and there's any number of these kinds of, you know, little rules in the back pocket that you can whip out because what I have noted is that Frequently what I've heard is it is not that I have intended to cause distress or harm. It's that I don't know the rules Fair enough make those rules explicit. Um, if you find that you make the rules explicit and someone continues to behave Uh, contrary to those stated goals, then that's problematic. Um, and in cases where Uh, problematic behaviour has happened and someone has been apologetic and worked to correct it That doesn't change the experience of the person who was harmed by that behaviour at all They were still harmed and it is very important to address those concerns as well with equal weight and respect But in an attempt to to educate and to Uh, to educate and to support simultaneously Did you? So to summarize for the cameras, uh, denise was just sharing that for the dream with project They have a very explicit list of rules and social norms so that people can at their leisure read through and understand for example a certain topic of conversation Is not appropriate or it's not appropriate in a particular context and by making it explicit People are able to then go through and and understand that organism Information and assimilate it in a way that makes sense for them. Is that an accurate? excellent Other humans, there's a steward. Hello sturt. Hello. I have a microphone I'm very proud of you. It's an awesome thing.  Have a really good friend networks. Um So honestly, I would suggest uh time box your rage quit because sometimes you just need to go do that and and go and Cocoon and replenish your strength Emotional resiliency is a thing especially is it is if it is diminished through things like microaggressions or even just the frustration of watching the Very slow pace at which we are evolving in our understanding I try to kind of Blow things out a bit on the time scale horizon like you know Yeah, it's it's really It's really problematic what we're seeing but at the same time, you know Women got the vote in the united states like what a hundred ish years ago a little bit over that That's really not a long time in the grand scheme of things of the evolution of the human animal So maybe we're not doing as bad as we think we are. It's just really really slow um Good friend networks are important. Um, and it's really, you know It's okay to be angry I think one of the things that we have a really hard time with is we get angry and upset about these things And we feel like we shouldn't because anger is considered to be a very negative emotion And it's not one that mature people express, right? You you don't do that, right? We don't get angry No, get angry. It's okay to be angry. Just go get angry in a corner and you know while you're doing it potentially away from friends loved ones pets who might Not really like the angry tone of voice while you're screaming at the wall going why why why? And other than that, I don't know. I recommend uh I would say I recommend drinking but that's not particularly sensitive or useful Whatever gets you through the Try it. It's delicious. Very good. I kind of had a question. Um, but I want to Bust a bias right here. Um had this gentleman down the front who mentioned uh ASD and uh There is a huge yeah people You constantly hear this. I I have I'm on the spectrum myself I'm in a minority group because I'm a woman and there is no support for us and women don't Bounds and women don't get angry and they're generally just crazy. They're not on the spectrum um And I also teach kids and train kids within it And you know, there's always this assumption that they go. Oh, Amy We're going to give you six kids and guess what they're all going to want to code because Codings for asperges and ASD people because they can't communicate with anybody and they have no empathy and they can't read emotions And it's going to be great. They can sit in front of a machine Half of my kids don't want to code half of my kids want to draw pictures They want to create things The most important thing that we do is socialize We be human we communicate all of my children have empathy. I have empathy Everybody has empathy.   It's generally just that and I think it's uh I know, yeah, I think that's that's a myth and a problem that harms Our industry and I think it also stops us from moving to the next stages of Diversity and evolution because we just keep putting people in boxes And as while we keep putting people in these boxes Then the ones that don't fit Will just fall to the side and eventually leave or whatever So sorry, I didn't really have a question, but that's okay. This is where we're sharing knowledge and experience I just kind of yeah, and that's and it's something that has been very deep within me for a long time. It's something that um Yeah, I You know and as I said the more and the more stories you hear from that I know from women in the industry And that and they've a lot of them just tend to fall out because it's yeah, but anyway I'll stop now. Thank you Other humans. Oh, there's clapping now. Yay Are we we are done? Okay, excellent So the nice news is that there is totally afternoon tea right now, which is quite lovely and my employer has bought ice cream So yay, let's go eat ice cream and keep talking We have a gift from the team here. Thank you. Whoo. I get presents


All right, bella buddies, it's time for a reseller vlog. Topic of the day is going to be vintage Barbies and clothing. We're going to dig into that as we go through and pull orders. There's a reason I picked this topic and we're going to talk about that as well. But hey, I just wanted to remind you guys that Rachel Strickland is having her benefit over on what not on March 3rd. Here it is, 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. And I drew that real special art piece that I showed you in my last reseller vlog. If you missed my art piece, you can go over to this reseller vlog. I'll link it down below. And you can see what I made for her to auction off for autism. All right, you guys, we're going to get started. And I do have a what not link down below. So if you guys are not on what not, you can join with that link and get a free $15 to shop. What free money? Yep, that's my referral link down there. So click on that, follow me, head over to Rachel Strickland's channel, bookmark the fundraiser and grab a piece of art from another YouTuber or reseller. All right, you guys, let's get started. Hey, fellow buddies, thanks for watching. It's for online, little pony. Amazing, right? All right, let's get started. So there is one play school house that I always part out. And I am like down to the end of what is left pretty much. I've got these items here. What I sold are these three pieces. These are the railings for the porch. I sold these for $24.70 and the buyer paid shipping. The next item is a tote bee and this item sold super fast. I picked this up at the Goodwill Benz and they are colored pencils. And it's kind of hard to see right here. I'll pop up a screenshot for you guys. I took a best offer of $30. And I'm going to say these sold in two to three days. The tin is not perfect. And I think it's missing two pencils, but I picked these up by weight. So probably have a couple bucks in this from the Goodwill Benz. There's the topic of the day that I want to talk about. And that is, let me pull it up here in screen share. This is yard sales and dreams. And let me tell you, she just hit a major, major score. But what I want to talk to you about is, number one, go follow her on YouTube. She is incredible. But my question for you is, would you take the chances that she's taking or would you do it differently? So let's talk about it. She hit a major vintage Barbies score. I think most of them are from the 60s. I'm going to pop up pictures for you guys right now and show you exactly what she got. She got these items from an auction house. Now she doesn't have very much listed yet, but there was one auction that somebody brought to my attention. And we're going to talk about that. But first off, she's got nine things up. So let's go ahead and look at what she has up. And if you guys are Barbie collectors or know anything about these, you're going to know that these 1960s Barbies can go for big money. So this next lot is a lot of quilting supplies. And I believe a viewer purchased these items from me, but not 100% sure. But I think she purchased from me on what not as well. So if you're watching, thank you so much. I appreciate your purchase. She also bought a little doll off of me. She paid $7 each for these vintage awesome quilting items. So all four of these and then a little doll, which I'm going to show you next. Let's head into crazy town where all my totes are and we are going over to tote one and we are going to see if we can find this little doll that she picked up. Let me get the tote open here. What on earth? Whoa, my house might be falling apart. What is this? What did that come from? All of this, well, is unfinished up here. So it must have come out of there. I'm going to have to have my husband look at that. But this was laying on top of the tote. Huh, that's interesting. I'm glad it was on the tote. It didn't end up in my foot. That would have been very, very bad. All right, so she bought this little doll right here. It is a little cutie pie. I don't know what it is or what it's made by, but this sold for $7. Another crafter's item that sold and this sold for $14.50. This came from that garage sale hall where I got all of those creative memories items that, man, I'll tell you what, creative memories just sells amazing. Now, these don't sell as quickly as some of the other things. Some of the punches do better than others, but this one I sold those two and then there was a little, this little circle container. So what this is is once you punch the things out, you put your circles in here to hold them. So I went ahead and sold that as a lot and the buyer paid shipping on that. Okay. So these are just heads and one thing you can see is, let me go in here and show you. She has it on like a pen or a pencil and that's typically what I do to show the head and she's showing you all of the different views, sides, front, bottom, back. When you're selling just the head, you want to show everything. All the detail of the paint is the lipstick still on is the eye makeup coming off. How are the eyebrows? Does it have green ear? All of those things are important to a collector. So she did an excellent job on her photos. Okay. So let's go back here. So she has this bubble cut head and she's starting it at five dollars. So she could have searched comps and tried to figure out how to list this, but it looks like she is starting all of the Barbie heads at five dollars and she did her homework, you guys. Look, Barbie twist and turn blonde head only long hair vintage Japan with lashes toy doll. Now, when they have like the fake real eyelashes, you definitely want to show those as well. So let's go in here and my computer is doing that again. So I cleared my cache. I think is what it's called. And that fixed it for like a few days. And now it's doing this again. Okay. So it finally worked. But you can see here the eyelashes. So I'm guessing she's going to give us some pretty good views side views so that you can zoom in and see it looks like she's got hers on like a wood stick or something. She's showing the hair, the parts, the ears. All of that is so, so important. Right there. You see the eyelashes? Bam. Right there. You can see they're full and in good condition. A lot of times those are all choppy and that can affect your, how much you get for the item. So both of these Barbie heads have one bid at five dollars. So if somebody steals it for five bucks, that's going to be incredible. But as of right now, when I'm recording, there are still three days and six hours left. I hope to get this video out tonight. So it's a weird brawl. When I say weird, it's not really a weird brawl. It's just they are UK sizes. And I've talked about these before. And when I tell you, I had probably close to a thousand of these in different sizes and different styles. So I got lucky. And it's the second one I pulled out. This is a size 30 G on the back here. It tells what it is in the different, in the different countries. Like this is a 30 G in the US and the UK. This one is a 32 FF also in the USA and UK. But some of them you have to actually use a conversion chart to figure out what the USA size is. Let me give you an example. Hopefully 38 FF. I think that's the same. Okay. Okay. So right here, like on this one in the US, it's a 38 H and in the UK, it's a 38 FF. But it says 38 FF on the front. Do you see what I'm saying? So people have to use the conversion chart on these. I do get some returns on these. It's kind of frustrating. But all in all, these have been just incredible. They're great brawls. They're really well made and most people that buy them wear the brand. So usually it's okay. I sold this for $12.40 plus shipping. And I got these at a discount store called Discount Fashion Warehouse. And I purchased, like I said, tons. Probably had thousands. So still selling them, still making money. Cost of goods was anywhere from a dollar to three dollars. I averaged out at three dollars because I would pick up stuff in other categories like men's suit jackets that I would pay like five to 10 for. And at the end of the checkout, I would take the total number of items and divide it out. And that's how I would get my average cost of goods just to make it easier when I'm selling things to price my items. Okay. This next item was a little bit tough to figure out because I'm like, I have never seen these before. I don't know what they are. And I'm about to show them to you. Oh, that way, if anybody's interested, you guys have an opportunity to go over and maybe grab yourself a deal.  So right here, we have the platinum white blonde wig from the 60s. Apparently this is a rare wig. I've never seen this color. It almost looks gray, but she's calling it white blonde. Two people are bidding on this. It's at $5.50. So everything has at least one bid right now. Best friend, Titan flip hair vintage freckles, no markings from the 60s. So that's midge. Okay. So let's look at a few more here. These do not have bids yet. I think I've sold this one before. I think mine was just ahead also. Now, if their hair is cut and ruined, you can still sell those. People will reroute them. And so you can still sell them. They will sell. That's what I've been told. This is a 2D Japan Barbie. Not sure about that one. Not familiar with that. And a sweet 16 blonde mod face, marked 1966. Now, one thing I do know that sometimes on Barbies, the newer ones, they will say older dates. That is a patent date. But that is like, it's different for the older ones. I'm not a Barbie expert. So definitely do your research if you ever find them. But you will know the difference between the older ones and the newer ones. They have a very distinct look to them. All right. So let's talk about this clothing lot that is currently sitting at a steal of a deal of $54. Oh my goodness. It's 45 pieces. And let's see if we can get in here. Let's see how many times I have to click refresh. Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry. So if this is happening to other people, let me know in the comments because I thought I fixed it by clearing my caches. Is that the right word? Cache. But yeah, obviously not. There we go. See, it finally works. So if this is an eBay issue on the computer, this could be causing issues with people getting sales. I mean, I couldn't go into this listing for how many times did I have to hit that? That was just nonsense. Anyway, so I didn't make a ton of money on this, but these came out of a thrift store mystery box. Somebody had put a heart on the item on Poshmark. So I went ahead and sent them an offer of $10 they accepted. So they got the discounted shipping. So my profit was like $5 and I think three cents. I'll pop up a screenshot. These were hard to identify. I had to use Google Lens. These are from Ikea and they're like little interchangeable like building toys. So came in a thrift store mystery box cost of goods less than a dollar. So I made about four bucks on these. Right. So you guys just saw a Poshmark sale. I'm about to show you a McCurry sale. Now I will tell you that I sell way more on eBay than I do any other platform that I sell on. But those extra sales coming in are awesome. So I highly recommend cross posting. I use List Perfectly. There is a video down below that shows you how I use it and it also shows you how to use the catalog. Definitely check out that video.  All right. So this item has been sitting for a little while. It took a little bit to sell and it actually sold faster on McCurry. Let me get it out of here. It is a Vera Wang bracelet and it's new with tags. I don't know if you guys know but Vera Wang makes jewelry. It's just a little cute toggle style colorful link bracelet. Did I say Vera Wang? I meant Vera Bradley. I don't even know what I'm talking about. Vera Bradley. Vera Bradley makes all those pattern purses, right? So this sold for $23 free shipping on McCurry. Okay. This next item sold for $12.40 plus shipping. I dug it out of the Goodwill Benz and it's over in tote 29. So let's go grab it. Right where tote 29 is. It is over here and it is on the bottom. Like sometimes my totes because I'm moving them around, they get a little mixed up but this one I always know where it is. It's always right here. It doesn't get moved around. Oh, these are veggie tails. If you ever see these, definitely pick them up. These are actually from the Noah's Ark set and the replacement kangaroo and then the, I think it's Noah's wife and then a bird. But that's all I found. I found those in the Goodwill Benz as well. So even if I only find a few, I definitely still pick them up because people are looking for replacements. Okay, so here's the little car I sold. Would you have picked it up or would you have walked right past it? Buyer paid shipping on that. I think I said $12 and 40 cents, right? Yep, just a little plastic car. I always, always, always am like person at the Benz who is digging for all of those small toys. I love it. I love selling toys. They are so easy to list. They are easy to ship. People are always looking for them and they sell. That's why I like to sell toys and it's fun but they don't break. So I love that. Okay, most of the time they don't break. $18 and 60 cents and it is right here in tote 42. Yep, right here somewhere, right? Now I know a lot of people use banker's boxes and it probably would be easier for me to find my stuff if they were in a smaller tote. I personally prefer, this is just what I have, have decided to do. I know that my inventory system is not for everyone but it works for me. So now I just have to look through and find, find the little power ranger key. So you guys can go ahead and drop comments on how you guys inventory things. I know a lot of people use the banker boxes. I personally prefer something more sturdy than a banker box but I'm also stuffing my stuff full and then I have to dig through it. So it does take me longer but I will tell you, if I'm not holding a phone and recording, I'm much more quicker and much more efficient than I am right this moment. So let me pop off here and find this item and I will show it to you up close and in person. You guys, so this little power ranger went for $18 and 60 cents plus shipping and it goes with something. I don't know too much about it but it pops open like that. It is a power ranger's key and I have sold quite a few of these. They sell really well depending on what color they are, what the emblem is or the logo. I don't know what you really call it. They go for different prices so definitely look these up if you see them because some of them do really well but I thought this one did pretty good. All right so if you guys watch my reseller testing Bolo products you may have seen this item because it is animated and it is a plush and I put all of those videos over on that channel and it's a little squirrel and it's made by jimmy, g-e-m-m-y. I always pick them up and this didn't sell for big money but it did sell quick. It is in this tote right here. It's a squirrel and it sold for $12.40 plus shipping. I picked it up at the Goodwill Benz so it was probably like a buck because it's pretty lightweight and it better be here. I just listed it. It's got to be here. There it is. It's this little squirrel and the reason I did not increase the price on it, see how the tail is not hooked to the back. The string is, it got disconnected so technically the tail should be attached to the back. Not a big deal but it's a little singing squirrel. I think it's like something, you ain't getting nothing for Christmas or something like that. It's a cute little dancing singing squirrel. Barbie a lot of 45. You can see here there's not 45 pieces on the first page. So one thing that I would recommend is always having every single item in the first photo because look all of these items are not shown and all of these right here. So these, there should really be all of these in the first photo. That is my opinion. You may agree or disagree with me. I don't know. I think she put like the better items in the first photo and most people that are looking are going to go in and actually look. So this set right here, I think all of these four pieces go together. These Barbie clothes are amazing. Amazing. And they're the black label. You see this little tag right here. This is what you are looking for. If you see that, look up the item. Now you can see it right there. I think all of these are black labels. So let me just show you these. I have sold the apron and the little pin before but I didn't have this and my condition was not as good. The condition of these items are just amazing. So if you are a Barbie collector, you need to be following Yard, Sales, and Dreams. I will bookmark her down below in the description of the video with a link to her YouTube channel and her eBay store if you want to check her out. And look at this all nicely bagged. Just incredible. Here's some close-ups of some of these items. So let's talk a little bit more about this. And again, it's going to completely vary depending on what the item is but her pictures are fantastic. My only suggestion would be is let everybody know everything you're getting in the first photo so that they, I mean it does say 45 pieces in the title. So that is definitely good but this piece right here, wow. So every time there are Barbie numbers. So let's put in that American Airlines outfit. We'll just go with outfit. And let me put in vintage. Okay, so let's go to solds and we're just going to kind of comp out this one set. And I always like to search highest to lowest. This one right here is for Ken. So if you find Ken, look at that. It went for $590. Now this one is Pan American Airlines. So we are looking for American Airlines. We're looking for the outfit only. It looks like this comes with the Barbie. So here is a complete outfit. So this outfit comes with the bag, the shoes, all of these items and it sold for $89.99. Here's another one that sold for $86. So what she could have done is sold just the four pieces and sold it as an outfit. Right now you can see that this is number eight, I'm sorry, $9.84. Put that in your title. That is going to help people find it that are searching for that outfit. Now you can also part things out like let's go with just the bag. So let's get rid of outfit and just put bag. And you can see, let's see if we can find one here. Did I not put Barbie in the title? Why are all these other weird things pulling up? That's very odd. So that one went really cheap. Now I'm going to say this person may have undersold this because they just had it out of buy it now. But I don't know. Definitely having the complete set helps. Here's the hat and the tote. So you just got to do your research and search everything. Here's just the little black purse that goes with the set. This one was an auction style.  It is a risky business doing auctions when you start them low. All right. This next item is in tote 29. Where is, oh yeah, did I say tote 29? I already told you earlier. I always know where tote 29 is. And I got this at a garage sale for $0.50. So we have the patch arrow and the patch pin and those sold as a lot. This next item has been listed for a very long time. But many, many of the items sold super quick. It is this piece right here. It's the Mark's Navarone set. And I believe this is all I have left from that set. I talk about a major Bolo. I picked that up. And if you want to see more about it, it's on a Primetime Treasure Hunters thrift battle that I did. And I also have some other videos about it, but I parted this out. This one piece sold for $32 plus shipping. The next item I sold is in tote 34. So we got to get this big guy out of the way. And it is this right here. It's a drink cup. It's Sven, I think is how you say it from Disney Frozen. I got this, if I remember correctly, I dug it out of the Goodwill Benz. It has a second piece. I'm trying to find its head here. There it is. I am missing the straw. So somebody made me an offer of $10 on that. And I went ahead and took it. Right, this next item just sold.  I think it's in this tote, tote 47. Yes. And most of it flew out of my store. And I actually created like a little scenery for this one. And I thought it was going to do really well. But this actually took almost two years to sell. But it sold for actually it took over two years to sell. It sold for $49.60 plus shipping. My cost of goods was probably less than a dollar for all of it because I got a steal of a deal on a huge box of vintage dollhouse furniture. And if I knew what I know now, I sold a huge lot of the Smalls all to one person in an auction style listing. I do believe it was. This was probably back when I first got it. And I probably should have parted those items out. So lesson definitely learned. But I'll show you what this cute little set looks like. And definitely made a profit worth the wait to me. And we'll go on to the next item. All right. Guess what? I just sold another item from the crazy doll lot that Noelle Farm Girl Scavenger. She has a YouTube channel. Definitely go check it out. She's a below finder, but she was over at Donna Telebot Alino's auction and she purchased the craziest doll lot I have unboxed ever. And I have an unboxing of it. It looks like this.  And Donna even said, I thought it would go for like $15 or $20. Well, it didn't. And you can find out in that video what Noelle paid for it. And she sent this to me as a gift. Just sold this guy for $18.60 plus shipping. So go check out that video to see what else I got in the box and why it was such a crazy box. I'll link it down below. Now, what I always say is start your auction at what you hope to get out of your item. And if it doesn't sell, then put it on a buy it now or best offer. That is personally what I do now. I am excited to see what these items are going to sell for. I mean, she's starting it at $5. So that could really get a bidding war going and yard sales and dreams Danielle. She is super smart and she is a Bolo finder. So I am definitely intrigued and interested to see how she's going to list these items and how much money she is going to make just an incredible, incredible score. She finds amazing stuff. Go sub her up and thank you guys so much for being here. Thank you for watching and let me know in the comments which item I sold was your favorite or leave me just a hat. Thanks for watching.


A Float with Henry Morgan! Jeffery Hunter and the Negro, Hero, escape successfully from the convict camp in the swamps. But Jeffery is suddenly stricken down with a dreaded fever, becoming unconscious. Hero carries him to a hiding place which he finds amongst the branches of an old tree. Meanwhile, Kitty, who has complete faith in Jeffery, waits for him to rescue her. Diat, knowing of Morgan's immediate departure, deserts from the flying gull. And the next morning, from the hillside, sees to his satisfaction, Morgan shifts, putting out the seed. And then, to Kitty's horror, he joins Kitty into Lorraine's hiding. Two days pass, days in which Hero tries to break the fever, which brings Jeffery so close to death. Days in which Kitty waits in vain for Jeffery to come, believing at last that he has deserted her. Then comes the evening when Diat tells her that the ship has arrived to take him to Cuba, and she realizes she is now beyond all age. The next morning, Jeffery awakens weak but cured, and insists that Hero take him to the stone hut. But upon reaching there, he finds Kitty has gone and the hut's empty. Gone? And I promised Kitty I'd come and rescue her. There was nothing you could do, Miss Jeffery. You were my distinct man. Why did I have to be struck down like that? It was that cursed fever. It's the fever that kills most men when they work in the swamps. Why, I had not been able to find those leaves and herbs you wouldn't be here with me now, Miss Jeffery. I would rather have died than have let Kitty down. You couldn't understand, Hero. You don't know what happened. I only know you had a friend in the hut. I also know you had an enemy. That's why I didn't bring you here. That friend was the woman I saw when we came to this hut that day. She was being held prisoner by two unscrupulous scoundrels, a man and a woman, two Spanish rats. I knew them both. That's all such a madly, Hero. Even now, I can't work it all out. There are so many gaps. Where have they gone now? They've gone back to some Spanish possession. Taking with them that other woman is a slave, no worse than a slave. The other woman who is my friend has been taken to a land where she'll have no friends. Where she'll be utterly helpless and powerless, where her life will be worse than the living death. She has gone believing that I... that I failed her. You just listen to me. Now you've been mighty sick, man. You're very weak. When a person's been sick and there's getting better, there's libel to think the most awful things about themselves.   Here we are still in danger. You're only thinking of your own misery. You ain't got no thoughts for poor old Hero, what's done all he can to keep you from the grave. Yes, Hero, you're right. I haven't even said thank you. Why didn't you leave me? You might have been miles away from here now. I didn't want to leave you. You're my friend. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Nothing else matters.  You have to get rest. Now I suggest we go inside the hut. No one is here. You can lie down and try to get some sleep for the rest of the day. When evening comes, you'll be refreshed. Ain't you forgetting that we go and join Captain Malvin? Yes, we have to get to Port Royal. I was forgetting that. We must get there. Especially now that woman has made her escape and gone off the island. She knows Henry Morgan's plans. I, poor fool, told her. We have to reach Henry Morgan before he sails and warn him that his plans are learned by a Spanish spy who has gone back to some Spanish possession. Unless he is warned, he'll be trapped. This expedition that Morgan is going on is the most hazardous one he's ever attempted. Well, there ain't nothing that we can do until nightfall. You must get some rest before we go to Port Royal. What with the sickness and disappointment that you've had, we can't travel in daylight. We'll have to wait until nightfall. Now you come with me inside the hut and I'll make you comfortable. And then when it's dark, you and I will sneak into Port Royal under cover of night and we'll find Captain Malvin. See ya. See ya. Ah, right, Dolores. I didn't hear you coming. What are you doing up here on the ship? Telling to the darkness. A man is entitled to have moments of dreaming. No. And way over there in the darkness, Cuba. Ah, it's good to be returning home, to be going back to my own people. People whom you have betrayed. But for me, you would be returning as a traitor. Many times, and I've been with Morgan as part of the little Cuba. Many times I regretted leaving that so lovely island. I never thought that the time would come when I'd be able to attend it. No all is forgiven, is it not, Dolores? I am returning home. I have fulfilled all my dreams, all my wishes. I am going back and taking with me the woman I want. I have the promises of rest. And you are going to keep your word, are you not, Dolores? I have promised you a reward, yes. I have promised you safety. What more do you want? I just want to remind you that, but for me, you would not have got back the Aztec Naglet. I have not got it back. Not yet. No, but you will have it when we read Cuba. While I hold it, I am still assured that you'll keep your promise. Do you trust anybody? No, no I should not. That's foolish. Yes, I am a very lucky man. Everything I have planned has succeeded and the head of me somewhere in the darkness lies Cuba.  Captain Morgan, sailing on his last expedition. Yes, sure now that you can travel. I am certain. I know where he is going and what he is going to do. As soon as I reach Cuba, I will tell my father. Mighty ships of Spain will sail after him. Mighty ships that will trap him and there will be no escape for Captain Morgan. You will see him again, Diaz. He will be brought back alive to Havana. I wish to talk with Captain Morgan again. And when I see him, he shall be in chains and I shall be wearing the estate necklace. He shall know before he dies a thousand deaths that it was I, a mere woman, who trapped him. Yes, Diaz, I too am happy. Miss Jeffrey, Miss Jeffrey, wake up. Oh, what is it here? What's wrong? No, it's all right. Didn't anything wrong? It's heavenly dark. You've been sleeping a long while. Look, I brought you some wild fruit. I went out just a little while ago. You ain't had nothing to eat for ever such a long while. You've been asleep for ages, so that'll refresh you. Yes. Yes, thanks. I wonder what time it is. The time don't matter. It's been dark night a long time. I reckon now you'll be strong enough after all that sleep all these long hours to give back to Port Royal. Well, we'd be safe there because all good people be at bed now. Yes, hero, I feel fine. I have to get to Port Royal as soon as I can. Captain Morgan's prepared to put the sea when I was taken. Must be ready for the ship now. Who knows? He might have been sailing in the morning. We must reach Port Royal before morning. Well, everything is very quiet. You know, while you've been sleeping, I've been listening. Today is the first time I've not heard the bane of the hounds. The search must have gone further afield now. Yes, and as soon as we escape, the authorities must have searched Port Royal too. We won't be looking for us there now. They're probably searching for us out on the plantations inland. Well, I reckon that's the Jeffrey.  We should be on our way because we have to take our time. You're still weak. Oh, no, I'm fine. No, you ain't very strong. We have to be extra careful. We don't see no one. It's going to be dangerous going into Port Royal. We have to allow ourselves plenty of time.  Must be very late. I wish I knew what time it was. Must be well in the hours of early morning. If you reach Port Royal, you're not going to find anybody. Wait a minute, that's the Jeffrey. Look, just come around the corner. Down there. Someone carrying the lantern. Yes, I see. Quickly. Get in here. Put me up in gates. Stand behind the high fence. Let everything just go past. Three o'clock in the morning. A fine night is all that is well. It's a watch. He says he will be around for a while. He's coming closer. We'll be right at the docks. He ain't likely to look behind this wall. Three o'clock in the morning. All is well. He's passing. He ain't stopping. We'll have him before he comes this way again. You know, as soon as he's gone, don't run towards the docks. Just walk casually. One foot steps on halfway. His footsteps have faded right away now. Right, too fast, hero. I'm getting out of here. It'll be dreadful to be caught now. You saved the docks just around the corner. When we turn the end of this building, you'll see the flying garland of that. A few steps more. Hero, look. Oh, none of this appointment again. Keyside, sure. Henry Morgan's gone once again. I'm too late. We had to take a risk. There's only one thing to do. What's that? We've got to go to the Governor of Jamaica. Look at me, it's a scapegoat. For the sake of Captain Morgan, all these men have bought his ships. We have to forget our own safety. And go and tell Sir Thomas what we know. Look at the times, Sir Thomas. Four o'clock in the morning. I'm not used to this sitting up all night and talking. Well, you return to England tomorrow, Colonel. It's the last opportunity of having a little chat with you. But before you go, let's go into my study and have a final night, Cap.  Yes. Where is me, you two? I try not to think of it. Don't go into Thomas, eh? There's an intruder in the room. Look over there where the curtains hang in the window. They're bulging out. There's a man hiding there. Put that fiscal down there. Whoever is there is there for no good purpose. A shot is fired. The curtain's part in the Negro falls to the floor, revealing standing behind him Jeffrey Hunter, here at the encounter between Hunter and Sir Thomas Motford in the next episode of A Float with Henry Morgan.


So now it's time to talk about which wave functions actually solve the harmonic oscillator Schrodinger equation. What functions are there that we can take the second derivative of, add them to x squared times the same function with various constants thrown in, and get back the function that we started with. So we can consider at least some trial and error solutions to the Schrodinger equation and learn something about what type of functions will solve the Schrodinger equation. So we can start with a relatively simple equation. Let's just start with a polynomial. Let's just take a function like x cubed or x to the fifth or x to some power. We could also consider polynomial with multiple terms, but if we start simple, let's just take one term.  And then the first derivative of that function, we're going to need the second derivative of that function in order to plug it into Schrodinger's equation. So taking them one at a time, the first derivative of that function is going to look like 3ax squared. And then the second derivative will pull down the x squared down to just an x and pull down the 2 into the pre-factors. Now I've got 6a times x is the second derivative. If we go to plug those into Schrodinger's equation, so I've got some constants and throughout this whole derivation, I'll not worry about the constants. We can worry later about whether these constants happen to cancel some other constants. But just to see if the function is going to work, I've got some constants multiplying the second derivative of the wave function. So that looks like more constants times x. And to that, I want to add some constants, 1 half k, so constants, multiplying x squared times the wave function. So x squared times the original x cubed gives me a total of x to the fifth. So constants times x, constants times x to the fifth. Does that equal constants times the original function, which is x cubed? So is it true that a linear function plus a fifth order term equals a cubic term? Definitely not. The x terms don't match in this expression. So that means that this guess at a solution failed. If we start with a function like x cubed, the reason it didn't work is because the second derivative knocked the power of x down by 2 to just x. This x squared raises it by 2 to x to the fifth. Neither of those matches x cubed that we had in our original function. So we're going to have to try something different. Just an x to some power is not going to work. So we can try something else. Part of this problem was that the second derivative kept knocking down the power of x, and we wanted eventually to be equal to the original function. We certainly know some functions that don't get knocked down in powers as we take their derivatives. Those are functions like e to the, let's say, a times e to the bx, exponentials. If I take derivatives of an exponential, the first derivative just pulls down the derivative of the exponent, pulls down to b. The second derivative is going to pull down another factor of b, so why don't I just say psi double prime, the second derivative is equal to ab squared, pulls down another factor of b. And if I plug those into Schrodinger's equation to see if they work. Second derivative, so again, constants, I won't worry about the specific values of. The second derivative looks like e to the bx. On the right side, I've got constants times the original function e to the bx, so that's good news. This term is matching this term, that looks good so far. But when I include this potential energy term, one-half kx squared times the wave function, I've got constants, the x squared, I can't lump it in the constants, that's part of the x dependence. So I've got x squared times e to the bx. So that's better than we had in our first try. This e to the bx matches this e to the bx, but the x squared, the potential energy term, is causing problems. So we're going to have to work a little bit harder to figure out a function that has a chance of working. If we think about what went right and what went wrong in this solution, it was good that our function didn't get knocked down any powers of x by taking the derivatives. But what we really need is something whose second derivative gets knocked up by a couple of powers of x, so that these two terms have some terms that match each other or perhaps cancel each other. And if we think about it a little bit, we can find a function that does that. So what I'm looking for is a function that if I take derivatives, pulls down not just extra constants in front of the function, but extra factors of x in front of the original function. So I can do that with a function like an exponential again, but now instead of e to the bx, I'm going to have e to the b times x squared. I'm going to have more than one power of x up in the exponent so that when I take the derivative of the exponent, it's going to pull down some factors of x out front. In particular, the first derivative is going to be a times the exponential e to the bx squared times the derivative of the exponent. The derivative of bx squared is 2 times b times x. So that's doing what I wanted it to. The first derivative has pulled down a factor of x. The second derivative gets a little more complicated because now I've got two factors of x to worry about the x in front of the exponential and the x squared in the exponential. The product rule tells me the derivative of this function is going to look like 2ab e to the bx squared. That's taking the derivative with respect to x of this polynomial term in front of the exponential and 2ab times x times e to the bx squared times the derivative of the exponent. So I'm going to pull down another factor of 2bx.  So that's what I get for my second derivative of this function. I'm sorry, pulls down a b and pulls down another factor of x. Yes, so 2 times b times x in addition to the original 2 and b at x. So this is the second derivative of this function and it's done what I claimed we wanted to happen when I take the second derivative. I get some x squared factors pulled down that are going to match this term and I also have something that looks like the original function that's going to match the term on the right side. So plugging those all into the Schrodinger equation, again we've got constants times second derivative of wave function gives me e to the bx squared and also some constants times x squared e to the bx squared. So that's the first term, the kinetic energy term. The potential energy term just looks like constants times the original wave function. So I'm adding in constants times x squared from here times e to the bx squared from the original wave function. And that is supposed to be equal to energy or some constants times the original wave function. So energy times e to the bx squared. Is it true that e to the bx squared with some constants in front plus an x squared e to the bx squared and an x squared e to the bx squared is equal to e to the bx squared? At first glance, that might look like it's not true. I have some terms on the left, this x squared e to the bx squared, that don't match any terms on the right. But depending on what these constants are, if the value of this constant, that's not a 0, that's just some particular value. If the value of this constant and the value of this constant when I add them together, when they cancel each other, if there's some cancellation that occurs and causes these two terms to cancel each other, then I'm left with something that can work. So at least if we choose our constants right, if we choose the value of this b constant well, this function can solve Schrodinger's equation, whereas these first two cases that we talked about cannot solve Schrodinger's equation for the harmonic oscillator. So this is our candidate solution. Possibly functions that look like e to the bx squared are going to solve Schrodinger's equation. What does that mean physically? If I draw a graph of what that wave function looks like, what would the wave function look like? So e to the, some constant times e to the bx squared. We don't know what the constant is yet, but certainly we know what the function e to the x looks like or e to the x squared looks like. If it's e to the x squared, then the function is going to look like this. The larger x gets, the larger e to that x squared gets, and the function is going to rise pretty quickly as I move away from x equals 0. And that begins to look a little strange. Remember what the wave function means. In order for us to interpret what the wave function means, remember that the probability of finding the particle at some point on the x-axis is proportional to the wave function squared. So that means I get more and more likely to find the wave function, find the particle at x values as x gets either very large or very small. And that probability reaches infinity as the value of x gets approaches infinity. So that sounds like it doesn't make any physical sense. I can't have an infinite probability of finding the particle at any location. But the good news is I haven't decided what this constant b is yet. It doesn't have to be a positive constant. So this graph is what the function would look like if b were a positive number. If b is a negative number, then this is going to look like e to the negative some constant times x squared. That sounds like a Gaussian function or a bell curve. So we know what Gaussian functions look like. So if b is less than 0, b is a negative constant, then the wave function is going to look like this. And now the good news is the further x gets away from the origin, the smaller the wave function gets. So the smaller the probability of finding the particle at that distance. And likewise the area under this curve or the area under this psi squared curve is bounded and finite. So that we have a chance of normalizing this function and making the probability equal to 1 if I ask what's the probability of finding it anywhere under this curve. So what that leads us to conclude is that a possibly valid version of the wave function would be some constant times e to the minus some other constant squared. So if I rename my constants instead of calling them a and b, I'll go ahead and start using n for the normalization constant out front. e to the negative some constant times x squared. And for my constant, I've made it negative, so I've changed its meaning. So b is equal to negative some other constant. I'll change its name to alpha. And in particular, so that we don't end up with this problem of these twos proliferating every time I take a derivative x squared causes some twos to fall down out of the exponent. Either one or more of those factors of two as I take derivatives. So to avoid the arithmetic complications when those factors of two show up, I'm going to make the exponent half as big as I had in the original definition. So still constant times e to the constant times x squared. My constant is just now negative this thing I'm calling alpha divided by two. So this is at least a reasonable guess for a function that will solve the Schrodinger equation for the harmonic oscillator. To find out what there does, in fact solve Schrodinger's equation and what this value of alpha needs to be, what the value of n needs to be. We need to do a little more work and actually plug this into Schrodinger's equation and not be so cavalier with the constants that we cancel. And so that's what we'll do next.