Chapter twenty-eight of North and South. This is a LibriVox recording. Our LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Gemma Bluff. North and South by Elizabeth Glegor and Gascale. Chapter twenty-eight, Comfort in Sorrow. Through grass to ground, and through thy spirit's life, Trials untold to sail with giant strength. Good cheer, good cheer, soon ends the bitter strife, And thou shalt reign in peace with grass at length. Coase garden, as sooth we feel too strong and real To meet thee on that road. But well being come, the soul is dumb, That groth not on guard. Mrs. Brownin. That afternoon she walked swiftly to the Higgins' house, Mary was looking out for, with a half distrustful face, Margaret smiled into her eyes to reassure her. They passed quickly through the house-place, upstairs, And into the quiet presence of the dead. Then Margaret was glad that she had come. The face, often so weary with pain, so restless with Troubless thoughts, had now the faint soft smile Of eternal rest upon it. The slow tears gathered into Margaret's eyes, But a deep calm ended into her soul, and that was death. It looked more peaceful than life. All beautiful scriptures came into her mind. They rest from their labours. The weary are at rest. He giveth his beloved sleep. Slowly, slowly, Margaret turned away from the bed. Mary was humbly sobbing in the background. They went downstairs, without a word. Resting his hand upon the house-table, Nicholas Higgins stood in the midst of the floor. His great eyes startled open by the news he had heard. As it came along the court, from many busy tongues, His eyes were dry and fierce, studying the reality of her death, Bringing himself to understand that her place Should know her no more. For she had been sickly, dying so long, That he had persuaded himself she would not die, That she would pull through. Margaret felt as if she had no business to be in there. Familiarly, acquaintant herself with the surroundings Of death, which he, the father, had only just learnt. There had been a pause of an instant On the steep crooked stair when she first saw him. But now she tried to steal past his abstracted gaze And to leave him in the solemn circle of his household misery.  The Norse beard roused him. He took a sudden hold of Margaret's arm And held her till he could gather words to speak, Seemed dry. They came up thick and choked and hoarse. Were you with her? Did you see her die? No, replied Margaret, standing still with the utmost patience. Now she found herself perceived. It was some time before he spoke again, But he kept his hold on her arm. All men must die, said he at last, With a strange sort of gravity, Which first suggested to Margaret The idea that he had been drinking, Not enough to intoxicate himself, But enough to make his thoughts bewildered. But she were younger than me. Still he pondered over the event, Not looking at Margaret, though he grasped her tight. Suddenly he looked up at her with a wild search And inquiry in his glance. You sure and certain she's dead? Not in a dwell, a faint? She's been so before, often. She is dead, replied Margaret. She felt no fear in speaking to him, Though he heard her arm with his grip.   Mary came trembling towards him. Get thee gone, get thee gone, he cried, Striking wildly and blindly at her. What do I care for thee? Margaret took her hand, and held it softly in hers. He tore his hair.  Still his daughter and Margaret did not move. Mary trembled from head to foot. At last it might have been a quarter of an hour, It might have been an hour. He lifted himself up. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot, And he seemed to have forgotten that anyone was bar. He scalded the watchers when he saw them. He shook himself heavily, gave them one more sullen look, Spoke never a word, but made for the door. Oh father, father, said Mary, Throwing herself upon his arm. Not tonight, any night, But not tonight. Oh, help me, he's going out to drink again. Father, I'll not leave you. You may strike, but I'll not leave you. She told me last of all to keep you from drink. But Margaret stood in the doorway, Silent yet commanding. He looked up at her defiantly. It's my own house. Stand out of the way, Wench, Or I'll make you. He had shaken off Mary with violence. He looked ready to strike Margaret, But she never moved to feature. Never took her deep, serious eyes off him. He stared back on her with gloomy fierceness. If she had stood hand or foot, He would have thrust her aside With even more violence than he had used to his own daughter. Her face was bleeding from her fall against a chair. What are you looking at me in that way for, Asked he at last, Daunted and awed by her severe calm. If you'd think for it to keep me from going, What gate I choose, Because she loved you, And in my own house too, Where I never asked her to come, You're mistaken. It's very hard upon a man that he can't go To the only comfort left. Margaret felt that he had acknowledged her power. What could she do next? He had seated himself in a chair, Half conquered, half resenting, Intending to go out as soon as she left her position, But unwilling to use the violence He had threatened not five minutes before. Margaret laid her hand on his arm. Come with me, she said. Come and see her. The vase in which she spoke was very low in solemn, But there was no fear or doubt expressed in it, Either of him or of his compliance. He sullenly rose up. Margaret stood, uncertain, With dogged irresolution upon his face. She waited him there, Quietly and patiently waited for his time to move. He had a strange pleasure in making her wait, But at last he moved toward the stares. She and he stood by the corpse. Her last words to marry were, Keep my father from drink. It cannot hurt her now, mothered he. Not can hurt her now. Then, raising his voice to a wail and cry, He went on. We may quarrel and fall out. We may make peace and be friends. We may clam to skin and bone, And not all our griefs will ever touch her more. Whose had her fortune on them? What we hard work first and sickness at last, Whose left the life of a dog, And to die without knowing One good piece of rejoicing in all it is, Nay, Wench. Whatever who said, Who can know not about it now? And a mum had a supper drink Just to sted me again sorrow. No, said Margaret, Soften him with his softened manner. You shall not. If her love had been what you say, At any rate, she did not fear death as some do.  Glancing sideways at Margaret as he did so, His pale-ackered face struck her painfully. You are sorely died. Where have you been all day? Not at work? Not at work, sure enough, he said, With a short grim life. Not at what you go work. I were at the committee, Till I was sickened out with trying To make fools of your reason. I were fetched about her's wife In the morning. She's bed-fast. But she went raven and raging To know where I dunderheaded Brute of a chap was, As if out to keep him, As if he were fit to be ruled by me. That damned fool, He has put his foot in all our blinds, And I've walked my feet sore With going about forth to see Man who wouldn't be seen. Now the law is raised again in us. And I was sore-hearted too, Which is worse than sore-footed, And if I did see a friend Who asked to treat me, I never knew who lay a dime here. Best last, that'd leave me, Thou wouldst, wouldst thou? Turn into the boy-dumb form With wild appeal. I am sure, said Margaret, I am sure you did not know. It was quite sudden, And now you see it would be different. You do know, you do see her lying there.  You will not go? No answer. In fact, where was he to look for comfort? Come home with me, Said she at last, with a bold venture, Half trembling at her own proposal As she made it. At least you shall have some comfortable food, Which I am sure you need. Your father's a balsam, Asked he with a sudden turn In his ideas. He was, said Margaret shortly, I'll go and take a dish of tea with him, Since you asked me. A many a thing I often wish to say To a balsam, and I'm not particular As to whether he's preaching now or not. Margaret was perplexed. His drinking tea with her father Would be totally unprepared For his visitor. Her mother, so ill, Seemed utterly out of the question, And yet if she drew back now It would be worse than ever. She ought to drive him to the gin shop. She thought that if she could only Go into their own house It was her greatest debt gain That she would trust to the chapter Of accidents for the next. Goodbye, old wench. We fought at company at last. We have. But that's been a blessing To thy father ever since thou were born. Bless thy lips last. There was smile on him now, And I'm glad to see it once again. Though I'm lone and forlorn Forevermore. Her sister's daughter Covered up her face and turned To follow Margaret. She had hastily gone downstairs To tell Mary of the arrangement To say it was the only way She could think of to keep him From the gin palace. To urge Mary to come too For her heart's motor at the idea Of leaving the poor affectionate girl alone. But Mary had friends among the neighbors She said who would come in And sit a bit with her. He was there by them As she would have spoken more. He had shaken off his emotion As if he was ashamed of having Ever given way to it. And it even overleaped himself so much That he assumed a sort of bitter Mouth, like the crackling Of thorns under a pot. I'm going to take my tea With her father I am. But he slouched his cap low down Over his brow as he went out into the street And looked neither to the right Nor to the left While he tramped along by Margaret's side He feared being upset by the words Still more, the looks Of sympathizing neighbors So he and Margaret walked in silence. As he got near the street In which he knew she lived He looked down at his clothes, His hands and shoes. I should may happen to clean myself first. It certainly would have been desirable. But Margaret assured him He would be allowed to go into the yard And have soap and dal provided. She could not let him Slip out of her hands just then While he followed the house servant Along the passage and through the kitchen. Stepping cautiously On every dark mark In the pattern of the oil cloth In order to conceal his dirty footprints Margaret ran upstairs She met Dixon on the landing. How was Mama? Where is Baba? Mrs. was tired And gone into her own room She had wanted to go to bed But Dixon had persuaded her To lie down on the sofa And have her tea brought to her there It would have been better than getting restless By being too long in bed So far, so good But where was Mr. Hale?  Yesterday or the day before?  While he is here They'll be clever If they come and pass me, said Dixon Showing her teeth at the bear I do And he need not go out Except in the desk, poor fellow Poor fellow echoed Mrs. Hale But I almost wish you had not written Would it be too late to stop him If you wrote again, Margaret? I'm afraid it would, mama, said Margaret Remembering the urgency With which he had entreated him To come directly If he wished to see his mother alive I always dislike the doing things In such a hurry, said Mrs. Hale Margaret Was silent Come now, ma'am, said Dixon With a kind of cheerful authority You know, seeing Master Frederick Is just the very thing of all others You're longing for And I'm glad, Mrs. Margaret Wrote off straight without chili shall in I had a great mind to do it myself But will keep him snug Depend upon it There's only mother in the house That would not do a good deal To save him on a pinch And I've been thinking she might go And see her mother just at that very time She's been saying once or twice She should like to go And she came here Unless she didn't like to ask But I'll see about her being safe off As soon as we know when it comes God bless him So take your tea, ma'am, in comfort And trust me Mrs. Hale did trust in Dixon More than in Margaret Dixon's words quieted her for the time Margaret poured out the tea in silence Trying to think of something Agreeable to say But her thoughts made answers Like Daniel O'Rourke When the man in the moon Asked him to get off his reaping hook The more you ask this The more we won't stir The more she tried to think of something Anything besides the danger to which Frederick would be exposed The more closely her imagination Clunged to the unfortunate idea Presented to her Her mother prattled with Dixon And seemed to have utterly forgotten The possibility of Frederick's being Utterly forgotten That at her wish If by Margaret's deed He was summoned into this danger Her mother was one of those Who threw out terrible possibilities Miserable probabilities Unfortunate chances All cons As a rocket throws out sparks But if the sparks light On some combustible matter They smolder first And burst out into a frightful Flame at last Margaret was glad When her filial duties gently And carefully performed She could go down into the study She wondered how her father And Higgins had got on In the first place The decorous kind-hearted Simple old-fashioned gentlemen Had unconsciously called out By his own refinement And cutiousness of manner All the latent courtesy in the other Mr. Hale treated all His fellow creatures alike It never entered into his head To make any difference because of their rank He placed a chair for Nicholas Stood up till he, at Mr. Hale's request, Took a seat and called him Invariably Mr. Higgins Instead of the cut Nicholas or Higgins To which the drunken infidel weaver Had been accustomed But Nicholas was neither a habitual drunkard Nor a thorough infidel He drank to drown care As he would have himself expressed it And he was infidel so far as He had never found any form of faith To which he could attach himself Heart and soul Margaret was a little surprised And very much pleased When she found her father and Higgins In earnest conversation Each speaking with gentle blotness To the other, however Their opinions my clash Nicholas, clean, tidied If only at the pump-trial And Guards spoken Was a new creature to her Who had only seen him in the rough Independence of his own haltstone He had slicked his head down With the fresh water He had adjusted his neck handkerchief And borrowed an odd candle-end To polish his clogs with And very sad Enforcing some opinion on her father With a strong dog-shell accent It is true, but with a lowered voice And a good earnest composure On his face His father, too, was interested In what his companion was saying He looked round as she came in Smiled and quietly gave her his chair And then sat down afresh As quickly as possible And with a little bow of apology To his guest for the interruption Higgins nodded to her As a sign of greeting And she softly adjusted her work To the table and prepared to listen As I was saying, sir I reckon you not have much belief in it If you lived here If you've been bred here I ask your pardon if I use wrong words But what I mean by belief just now Is a thinking on sayings And maxims and promises Made by folks you never saw About the things in the life You never saw nor no one else Now you say these things are true And true sayings and a true life I just say Where's the proof? There's many and many of one wiser And scores better learned Than I am around me Folks who've had time To think on these things While my time has had to begin Up to be getting my bread Well, I'll seize these people Their lives is pretty much open to me They're real folk They don't believe in the Bible Not they, they may say they do But Lord sir Do you think their first cry in the morning Is what shall I do to get hold On eternal life? Or what shall I do to fill my post This blessed day? Where shall I go? What bulk and shall I strike? The burst in the gold in the notes Is real things Things as can be felt and touched Them's realities And eternal life is all a talk Very fit for I ask your pardon sir You're a person out of work, I believe Well, I'll never speak Disrespectful of a man In the same fix as I'm in myself But I'll just ask you Another question sir And I do not want you to answer it Only to put it in your pop and smog it Before you go forth to set down us Who only believe in what we see Is fools and not is If salvation and life To come and what not was true Not in men's words Not in men's heart score Don't you not think they din us with it As they do with political economy There might have anxious To come round us with that piece of wisdom But the other would be a greater conversion If it were true But the masters have nothing To do with your religion All that they are connected with you And is trade, so they think And all that it concerns them Therefore, to rectify your Opinions in is the signs Of your trade I'm glad sir said Higgins With a curious wink in his eye That you put it so they think I'd have thought you a hypocrite I feared if you hadn't For all you're a bosson Or rather because you're a bosson You see, if you'd spoken A religion is a thing that If it was true It didn't concern all men To press on all men's attention Above everything else in this fossil I should have thought you're a naïve For it to be a bosson But I'd rather think you a fool than a naïve No offense, I hope so None at all You consider me mistaken And I consider you far more fatal In mistaken I don't expect to convince you in a day Not in one conversation But let us know each other And speak freely to each other About these things and the truth Will prevail Even God, if I did not believe that Mr. Higgins, I trust Whatever else you have given up You believe Mr. Hale's force dropped low In reverence You believe in him Nicholas Higgins suddenly stood Straight stiff up Margaret started to a feat For she thought, by the work And of his face, he was going Into convulsions Mr. Hale looked at her dismayed Higgins found words Man, I could fell you to the ground For attempting me Why don't business have you To try me with your doubts Think of her lying there After the life who's led and think Then how you'd deny me the only soul Comfort left That there is a God And that he set her for life I don't know if she'll ever live again Said he, sitting down And drierly going on Sympathizing fire I don't believe in any Of the life than this In which she dreamed such trouble And had such never-ending care And I cannot bear to think It were all a set of chances That might have been altered With a breath of wind There's many a time when I've thought I did not believe in God But I never put it fair out Before me in words as many men do I may have laughed at those who did To brave it out like But I have looked round at after To see if he owed me If so be there was a he But today when I'm left Desolate I will not Listen to you with your questions And your doubts There's but one thing steady and quiet In all this real world And reason or no reason I'll cling to that It's a very well for happy folk Margaret touched his arm Very softly She had not spoken before Nor had he heard her eyes Nicholas, we do not want a reason You misunderstand, my father We do not reason We believe And so do you It is the one soul Comfort in such times It turned round and caught her hand It is, it is Brushing away the tears with the back of his hand But you know I'm not at home And I'm welly days with sorrow And at times I hardly know what I'm saying It's as if Speeches folk have made Clever and smart things as I've thought At the time Come up now, my heart's welly-brosin The strikes failed as well Don't you know that, miss? I was coming home to ask her Like a beggar as I am For a bit of comfort in that trouble And I would knock down Tell me she were dead Just dead That were all But that were enough for me Mr. Hale blew his nose And got up to snuff the candles In order to conceal his emotion He's not an infidel Margaret How could you say so? Muddered he reproachfully I have a good mind to read In the fourteenth chapter of Job Not yet, papa, I think Perhaps not at all But I'll tell you about the strike And give him all the sympathy he needs And hope to have from poor Bessie So they questioned and listened The workman's calculations were based Like too many of the masters On false premises They reckoned on their fellow men As if they possessed the calculable Powers of machines No more, no less No allowance for human passions Getting the better of reason As in the case of Boucher and the Rottas That the representations of their injures Would have the same effect On strangers far away As the injuries, fancied or real Had upon themselves They were consequently surprised And indignant at the poor Irish Who had allowed themselves to be imported And brought over to take their places This indignation was tempered In some degree By contempt for them Irishers And by pleasure At the idea of the bungling way In which they were set to walk And perplexed their new masters With their ignorance and stupidity Strange exaggerated stories Of which were already spreading through the town But the most cruel cut of all Was that of the Milton Walkman Who had defied and disobeyed The commands of the Union To keep the peace Whatever came Who had originated discord in the camp And spread the panic of the law Being arrayed against them And so the strikeers at an end Said Margaret Amos, it's save as save can The fact that doors will need Open wide tomorrow To let in all who be asking for work If it's only just to show They've not to do with a measure Which if we've been made Of the right stuff Would have brought wages up to a point They'd not been at this ten year You'll get work, shan't you?  Have room, let me work at his mill But he cuts off his right hand Not before and not after Said Nicholas quietly Margaret was silenced And sad About the wages, said Mr. Hale You'll not be offended But I think you made some sad mistakes I should like to read you Some remarks in a book I have You got up and went to his bookshelves You needn't trouble yourself, sir Said Nicholas, they're Book stuff goes in one ear And out up the other I can make note on it Before Hamper and me had the split The overlooker told him I was Stirring up the men to ask for Hale wages And Hamper Met me one day in the yard He'd a thin book in his hand And says he, Higgins I'm told you're one of those Damn fools that think you can get Hale wages for asking for them And keep them up too When you're forced them up Now I'll give you a chance And try if you've any sense in you Here's a book written by a friend of mine And if you'll read it, you'll see Hale wages found their own level Without either masters or men Have an awe to do with them Except the men cut their own throats With stroking, like the confounded Noodles, the awe Well, NASA, I put it to you Being a Paulson and having been In the preaching line I had to try and bring folk over To what you thought was a right way of thinking Did you begin by calling Them fools and such like Or didn't you rather give them Some kind of words at first To make them ready for it to listen And to be convinced if they could And in your preaching Did you stop ever now and then And say half to them and half to yourself But just such a pack of fools That are the strong notion It's no use my trying to Sense into you I was not in the best state alone For taking in what Hamper's friend Had to say I was so vexed at the way it was put to me But I thought, come I'll see what these chaps has got to say And drive its them on me As is the noodle So I took the book and tugged at it But Lord bless it It went on about capital and labor And labor and capital Till it first sent me off to sleep I never could rot the fix in my mind Which was which And it spoke on them as if they were Vultures and vices And what I wanted to know Were the rots of men Whether they were rich or poor So be they only were men But for all that said Mr. Hale And grinding to the full The offensiveness, the folly The un-christianness Of Mr. Hamper's way Of speaking to you and recommending His friend's book Yet if it told you what he said it did That wages fine their own level And that the most successful strike Can only force them up for a moment To sink in far greater Proportion afterwards In consequence Of that very strike The book would have told you the truth Walesa said Higgins Rather dodgedly It might Or it might not Go to settle in that bond But suppose it was truth double strong It would no truth to me if I couldn't Take it in I dare say there's truth in your Latin book on your shelves But it's gibberish and not truth To me unless I know the meaning Of the words if you said Or any other knowledgeable Patient man come to me And says alarm me what the words mean And not blow me up If I'm a bit stupid I forget how one thing hangs on another While in time I may get To see the truth of it Or I may not I'll not be bound to say I shall end In thinking the same as any man And I'm not one who thinks truth Can be shaped out of words All neat and clean As the man at the foundry cut out sheet on Same bones won't go down With everyone It'll stick here in this man's throat And there in the others Let alone that one down It may be too strong for this one Too weak for that Focus sets up to doctor the world With that truth And soot different for different minds And be a bit tender in the way Of giving it to Or the poor sick fools may spit it Out in their faces Now Humber first gives me a box On my ear and then he throws His big ballast at me and says He reckons it'll do me no good But there it is I wish some of the kindest and wisest Of the masters would meet some of you men And have a good talk on these things It would surely be the best way Of getting over your difficulties Which I do believe Arise from your ignorance Excuse me, Mr. Higgins On subjects which it is For the mutual interest of both masters And men should be well understood By both I wonder half to his daughter If Mr. Thornton might not be induced To do such a thing Remember Papa, she said In a very low voice What he said one day About governments, you know She was unwilling to make any clear Allusion to the conversation they had held On the mode of government and world people By giving men intelligence Enough to rule themselves Or by wise despotism On the part of the masters For she saw that Higgins had caught Mr. Thornton's name If not the whole of the speech Indeed, he began to speak of him Thornton Is the chap as rode off As mourned for those Arises And led it to the riot that ruined the strike Even happening with all his bullying Would have waited a while But it's a word and a blow With Thornton and now When the Union would have thanked him For following up the chase after Boucher And then chapses went right against our commands It's Thornton who steps forward And coolly says that As the strike sat an end He, his party injured Doesn't want to press the charge against the rioters I thought he'd had more pluck I thought he'd had carried his point And had his revenge in an open way But says he One in court told me his very words They are well known They will find the natural Punishment of their conduct In the difficulty they will In getting employment That would be severe enough I only wish they caught Boucher And had him up before Hamburg I see that old Taka's sitting on him Would he had let him off Not he Mr. Thornton was right said Margaret You are angry against Boucher Nicholas or else you would be the first To see that when the natural punishment Would be severe enough for the offense Any father punishment Would be something like revenge My daughter has no great friend Mr. Thornton said Mr. Hal Smiling at Margaret While she, as red as any carnation Began to work with double diligence But I believe what she says is the truth I like him for it Well sir This strike has been a weird Piece of business to me And you'll not wonder if I'm a bit put out with sin and fail Just for a few men Who would nest suffer in silence And how doubt, brave and firm You forget Said Margaret I don't know much about you But the only time I saw him It was not his own self-reliance he spoke of But those of his sick wife His little children True, but he were not made of Ah and himself He'd had cried out for his own saras next He were not one to bear How came he into the union house Margaret instantly You don't seem to have much respect for him Nor gain much good from having him In Higgins brow clouded He was silent for a minute or two Then he said, shortly enough It's not for me to speak of the union What they does, they does Then that is of a Tradement, hang together And if they're not willing to take That chance along with the rest The union has ways and means Mr. Hal saw that Higgins was vexed at the turn the conversation had taken And was silent Not so Margaret Though she saw Higgins feeling As clearly as he did By instinct she felt That if he could be brought to express himself In playing words Something clear would be gained on which to argue For the right and the just And what are the union's ways and means He looked up at her As if on the point of Dogged resistance to her wish for Information But her calm face fixed on his Patient and trustful Compelled him to answer Well If a man doesn't belong to the union Then his work's next looms Has orders not to speak to him If he's sorry or ill It's all the same He's out of bounds He's none of us He comes among us, he works among us But he's none of us And he's fine to speak to him You try that miss Try living a year or two among them His looks away if you look at them Try working within two yards Of crowds of men Who you know have a grind and grudge at you In their hearts To whom if you say you're glad Not an eye brightens nor a lip moves To whom if your heart's heavy You can never say not Because they'll never take notice On your sighs or sad looks When a man's in a man who's grown out loud By a folk asking him what's the matter Just you try that miss Ten hours for 300 days And you'll know a bit What the union is Why I said Margaret What tear another's is Nay, Higgins I don't care one straw for your anger I know you can't be angry with me If you would And I must tell you the truth That I never read in all the history Of a more slow, lingering torture Than this And you belong to the union And you talk of the tyranny of the masters Nay, said Higgins You may say what you like The dead stand between you And every angry word of mine Do you think I forgot who's lying there And how who loved you And it's the masters as has made us sin If the union is a sin Not this generation maybe But the fathers And our fathers to the very dust Ground us to bow to Pausing? I reckon I've heard my mother Read out a text The fathers have eaten sour grapes And the children's teeth are set on edge It's so with them In those days of sore oppression The unions began It were a necessity It's a necessity now, according to me It's awithstanding of injustice Past, present, or to come It may be log war Along with it come crimes But I think it were a greater crime To let it alone Our only chance is binding men together In one common interest And if some are cowards and some are fools They might come along And join the great march Whose only strength is in numbers Oh, said Mr. Hale's sign Your union in itself Would be beautiful, glorious It would be Christianity itself If it were, but for an end Which affected the good of all Instead of that of merely one glass As opposed to another I reckon it's time for me to be going So, said Higgins, as the clock struck Dan, home Said Margaret very softly He understood her and took her off at hand Home, Miss You may trust me, though I am one Of the union I do trust you most thoroughly, Nicholas Stay, said Mr. Hale, hurrying To the bookshelves Higgins, I'm sure you'll join us In family prayer Higgins looked at Margaret doubtfully Her grave-sweet eyes met his There was no compulsion Only deep interest in them He did not speak, but he kept his place Margaret, the churchwoman Her father, the dissenter Higgins, the infidel Nailed down together It did them no harm End of chapter 28 Recorded by Gemma Bluth Chapter 29 of North and South This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Fouda Besson North and South by Elizabeth Kleckhorn-Gascog Chapter 29 Array of Sunshine Some wishes crossed my mind and dimly chilled it and one or two poor melancholy pleasures each in the pale and warming light of hope silvering its flimsy wing flew silent by moss in the moonbeam courage The next morning brought Margaret a letter from edit It was affectionate and inconsequent like the writer But the affection was charming to Margaret's own affectionate nature and she had grown up with the inconsequence so she did not perceive it It was at fault Oh, Margaret It is worth a journey from England to see my boy He is a superb little fellow especially in his camps and most especially in the one you sent him your good dainty finger preserving little lady Having made all the mothers here envious I want to show him to somebody new and hear fresh set of admiring expressions Perhaps that's all the reason Perhaps it is not nay, possibly there is just a little cousinly love mixed with it But I do want you so much to come here, Margaret I'm sure it would be the very best thing for Aunt Hale's health Everybody here is young and well and our scars are always blue and our scent always shines and the band plays deliciously from morning to night and to come back to the burden of my ditty my baby always smiles I'm constantly wanting you to draw him for me, Margaret It does not signify what he is doing That very thing is pretty graceful as best I think I love him a great deal better than my husband who is getting stout and grumpy what he calls busy No, he is not He has just coming with news of such a trombing picnic given by the officers of the hazard at anchor at the bay below because he has brought in such a pleasant piece of news I retract all I said just now Did not somebody burn his hand for having said or done something he was sorry for? Well, I can't put mine because it was hurt me and the scar would be ugly but I retract all my said as fast as I can Cosmo is really as great a darling as baby and not a bit stout and as ungrumpy as Eberhausen was only sometimes he is very, very busy I may say that without love Wifely duty Where was I? I had something very particular to say I know, once Oh, this, it is this dearest Margaret You must come and see me It would do Aunt Hale good as I said before Get the doctor to order it for her I am the smoke of Milton that does her harm I have no doubt that it is really Three months you have not come for less of this delicious climate all sunshine and grapes as common as blackberries would cure her I don't ask my uncle Here the letter became more constrained and better written Mr. Hale was in the corner like an older child for having given up his living Because I dare say it is the proofs of war and soldiers and bands of music At least I know that many dissenters are a member of the peace society and I am afraid he would not like to come but if he would dear pray say that Cosmo and I will do our best to make him happy and I hide up Cosmo's red coat and sword and make the band play all sorts of grave song things or if they do play pumps and vanities it shall be in double slow time Dear Margaret if you would like to accompany you on Aunt Hale we will try and make it pleasant though I am rather afraid of anyone who has earned something for conscience's sake you never did, I hope Tell Aunt Hale not to bring many warm clothes though I am afraid it will be late in the year before he can come but you have no idea what a heat here I had tried to wear my great beauty engine trough not a picnic it kept myself up with the problems and logs I could pride must abide and such was some piece of pith but it was of no use I was like Mama's little Doctinia with an elephant's trapping song smothered hidden, killed for my finery into a capital-carpet force on to sit down upon here's this boy of mine, Margaret if you don't pack up your things as soon as you get this letter and come straight off to see me I shall think you descended from King Herod Margaret did long for a day of various life her freedom from care her cheerful home her sunny skies if a wish could have transported her she would have gone off just for one day she yearned for the strength which such a change would give even for a few hours to be in the midst of all that bright life and to feel young again not yet twenty and she had to bear up against such hot pressure that she felt quite old that was her first feeling after reading edit letter then she read it again and forgetting herself was amused at the slackness to it itself and was laughing merrily over it when Mrs. Hale came into the drawing room leaning on Dixon's arm Margaret flew to adjust the pillows her mother seemed more than usually feeble what are you laughing at Margaret as soon as she had recovered from the exertion of settling herself on the sofa a letter I ever had this morning for an edit shall I read it you mama she read it loud and for a time it seemed to interest her mother who kept wondering what name edit had given to her boy and suggesting all probable names and all possible reasons why each and all of these names should be given into the very midst of these wonders Mr. Thornton came bringing another offering of fruit from Mrs. Hale he could not say rather he would not deny himself the chance of the pleasure of seeing Margaret he had no end in this but present gratification it was the sturdy willfulness of a man most reasonable and self controlled he entered the room taking at a glance the fact of Margaret's presence but after the first call Dixon bow he never seemed to let his eyes fall on her again he only stayed to present his beaches to speak some gentle kindly words and then his calm offended eyes met Margaret with a grave farewell and he left the room she sat down silent and pale do you know Margaret I really begin to quite like Mr. Thornton no answer at first then Margaret forced out an icy do you yes I think he is really getting quite punished in his manners Margaret's voice was more in order now she replied he is very kind and attentive there is no doubt of that I wonder Mr. Thornton never calls she must know I am ill because of the water bed I dare say she hears how you are from her son still I should like to see her you have so few friends here Margaret Margaret found what was in her mother's thoughts craving to be speak the kindness of some woman to want the daughter that might so soon be left motherless but she could not speak do you think said Mrs. Thornton after the pause that you could go and ask Mrs. Thornton to come and see me only once I don't want to be troublesome I will do anything if you wish mama but when Frederick comes to be sure we must keep our doors shut we must let no one in I hardly know whether I dare wish him to come or not sometimes I think I would rather not sometimes I have such frightful dreams about him oh mama we'll take good care I will put my arm in the bone sooner than he should come to the slightest harm trust the care of him to me mama I will watch over him like a lioness over her young when can we hear from him not for a week yet certainly perhaps more we must send Martha away in good time it would never do to have her here when he comes and then send her off in a hurry Dixon is sure to remind us of that I was thinking that if he wanted any help in the house while he is here we should perhaps get Mary Higgins she is very slack of work and is a good girl and would take pains to do her best I am sure and would sleep at home and you'd never come upstairs so as to know who is in the house as you please but Margaret don't get to use these horrid Milton words slack of work it is a provincialism what will your Aunt Shaw say if she hears you use it in her return oh mama don't try to make a bug bay of Aunt Shaw said Margaret laughing Ed had picked up all sorts of military slang from Captain Lennox and Aunt Shaw never took any notice of it but she was a factory slang and if I live in a factory town I must speak factory language when I want it wow mama I could astonish you with great many words you have never heard in your life I don't believe you know what a knob stick is not a high child I only know it has a very vulgar sound and I don't want to hear her using it very well dearest mother I won't only I shall have to use a whole explanatory sentence instead I don't like this Milton Ed it is so right enough I've been saying it's the smoke here that has made me so ill Margaret started up as her mother said this her father had just entered the room and she was most anxious that the faint impression she had seen in his mind that the Milton air had injured her mother's health should not be deepened should not receive any confirmation she could not tell whether she had whether he had heard what Mrs. Hill had said or not but she began speaking hurly of other things unaware and was following him Mama is accusing me of having picked up a great deal of vulgarity since we came to Milton the vulgarity Margaret spoke of referring plurally to the use of local words and the expression rose out of the conversation they had just been holding but Mr. Thornton's brow darkened and Margaret suddenly felt how her speech might be misunderstood by him so in the natural sweet desire to avoid giving unnecessary pain she came forward with a little greeting and continued what she was saying addressing herself to him expressly now Mr. Thornton though an obstic has not a very pretty sound isn't not expressive could I do without it in speaking of the thing it represents if though using local words as vulgar I was very vulgar in the forest was I not Mama it was unusual with Margaret to intrude her own subject of conversation other but in this case I was so anxious to prevent Mr. Thornton from feeling annoyance at the words he had simply and overheard that it was not until she had done speaking that she called it all over with consciousness more especially as Mr. Thornton seemed hardly to understand the exact gesture bearing of what she was saying but passed her by with a calm reserve of the ceremonious movement to speak with Mrs. Hale at the side of him reminded her of the wish to see his mother and commend Margaret to her care and burning silence vexed in ashamed of her difficulty in keeping her right place and her calm and consciousness of heart Mr. Thornton was by hurt her mother's slow and treaty that Mrs. Thornton didn't come and see her see her soon, tomorrow if it were possible Mr. Thornton promised that she should converse solution and then took his leave and Margaret's movement and voice seemed at once released from some invisible chains he never looked at her and yet the careful avoidance of his eye betoken that in some way he knew exactly where if they fell by chance they would rest on her if she spoke she gave no sign of attention and yet his next speech to anyone else was modified by what she had said sometimes there was an express answer to what she had remarked but given to another person as though unsuccessful by her it was not the bad manners of ignorance it was the fearful bad manners rising from deeper fence it was willful at the time repented of assurance but no deep plan no careful cunning could have stood in him in such good stead Margaret thought about him more than she had ever done before not with any tendre of what is called love but with regret that she had wounded him so deeply and with a gentle patience driving to return to their former position of antagonistic friendship for a friend's position was what she found that he had held in her regard as well as in that of the rest of the family there was a pretty humility in her behaviour to him as if mutely apologising for the over strong words which were the reactions from the deed of the day of the riot but he resented those bitterly they rung in his ears and he was proud of the sense of justice which made him go on in every kindness he could offer to her parents he exalted in the power he showed in compelling himself to face her after he could think of any action which might give her father a mother pleasure he thought that he disliked seeing one who had mortified him so keenly but he was mistaken it was a stinging pleasure to be in the room with her and feel her presence but he was no great analyser of his own motives and was mistaken as I have said End of chapter 29 Chapter 30 of North and South This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Leanne Howlett North and South by Elizabeth Clegghorn Gaskell Chapter 30 Home at Last The saddest birds a season find to sing Southwell Never to fold the robe or secret pain Never weighed down by memories clouds again To bow thy head Thou art gone home Mrs. Hemons Mrs. Thornton came to see Mrs. Hale the next morning She was much worse One of those sudden changes those great visible strides towards death had been taken in the night and her own family were startled by the gray sunken look her features had assumed had won twelve hours of suffering Mrs. Thornton, who had not seen her for weeks was softened all at once She had come because her son asked it from her as a personal favour but with all the proud bitter feelings of her nature in arms against that family of which Margaret formed one She doubted the reality of Mrs. Hale's illness She doubted any want beyond a momentary fancy on that lady's part which should take her out of her previously worse of employment for the day She told her son that she wished they had never come near the place that he had never got acquainted with them that there had been no such useless languages as Latin and Greek ever invented He bore all this pretty silently but when she had ended her invective against the dead languages he quietly returned to the short, curt decided expression of his wish that she should go and see Mrs. Hale at the time appointed as most likely to be convenient to the invalid Mrs. Thornton submitted with as bad a grace as she could to her son's desire all the time liking him the better for having it and exaggerating in her own mind the same notion that he had of extraordinary goodness on his part and so perseveringly keeping up with the hails His goodness verging on weakness as all the softer virtues did in her mind and her own contempt for Mr. and Mrs. Hale and positive dislike to Margaret were the ideas which occupied Mrs. Thornton till she was struck into nothingness before the dark shadow of the wings of the angel of death There lay Mrs. Hale a mother like herself a much younger woman than she was on the bed from which there was no sign of hope that she might ever rise again no more variety of light and shade for her in that darkened room no power of action scarcely change of movement faint alternations of whispered sound and studious silence and yet that monotonous life seemed almost too much When Mrs. Thornton strong and prosperous with life came in Mrs. Hale lay still although from the look on her face she was evidently conscious of who it was but she did not even open her eyes for a minute or two The heavy moisture of tears stood on the eyelashes before she looked up then with her hand groping feebly over the bed clothes for the touch of Mrs. Thornton's large firm fingers she said scarcely above her breath Mrs. Thornton had to stoop from her erectness to listen Margaret, you have a daughter my sister is in Italy my child will be without a mother in a strange place if I die will you and her filmy wandering eyes fix themselves with an intensity of wistfulness on Mrs. Thornton's face for a minute there was no change in her rigidness it was stern and unmoved nay, but that the eyes of the sick woman were growing dim with the slow gathering tears she might have seen a dark cloud across the cold features and it was no thought of her son or of her living daughter Fanny that stirred her heart at last but a sudden remembrance suggested by something in the arrangement of the room of a little daughter dead in infancy long years ago she melted the icy crust behind which there was a real tender woman you wish me to be a friend to Miss Hale said Mrs. Thornton in her measured voice that would not soften with her heart but came out distinct and clear Mrs. Hale her eyes still fixed on Mrs. Thornton's face pressed the hand that lay below hers on the coverlet she could not speak Mrs. Thornton sighed I will be a true friend I do not have the chance to require it not a tender friend that I cannot be to her she was on the point of adding but she relented at the sight of that poor anxious face it is not my nature to show affection even where I feel it nor do I volunteer advice in general still at your request if it will be any comfort to you I will promise you then came a pause Mrs. Thornton was too conscientious I promise what she did not mean to perform and to perform anything in the way of kindness on behalf of Margaret more disliked at this moment than ever was difficult almost impossible I promise said she with grave severity which after all inspired the dying woman with faith as in something more stable than life itself flickering, flitting, wavering life I promise that in any difficulty in which Miss Hale call her Margaret gassed Mrs. Hale in which she comes to me for help I will help her with every power I have as if she were my own daughter I also promise that if ever I see her doing what I think is wrong but Margaret never does wrong not woefully wrong pleaded Mrs. Hale Mrs. Thornton went on as before as if she had not heard if ever I see her doing what I believe to be wrong not touching me or mine in which case I might be supposed to have an interested motive I will tell her of it faithfully and plainly as I should wish my own daughter to be told there was a long pause Mrs. Hale felt that this promise did not include all and yet it was much it had reservations in it which she did not understand but then she was weak dizzy and tired Mrs. Thornton was reviewing all the probable cases in which she had pledged herself to act she had a fierce pleasure in the idea of telling Margaret unwelcome truths and the shape or performance of duty Mrs. Hale began to speak I thank you I pray God to bless you I shall never see you again in this world but my last words are I thank you for your promise of kindness to my child not kindness testified Mrs. Thornton ungraciously truthful to the last but having eased her conscience by saying these words she was not sorry that they were not heard she pressed Mrs. Hale's soft-language hand and rose up and went her way out of the house without seeing a creature during the time that Mrs. Thornton was having this interview with Mrs. Hale Margaret and Dixon were laying their heads together and consulting how they should keep Frederick's coming a profound secret to all out of the house a letter from him might now be expected any day and he would assuredly follow quickly on its heels Martha must be sent away on her holiday Dixon must keep stern guard on the front door only admitting the few visitors that ever came to the house and to Mr. Hale's room downstairs Mrs. Hale's extreme illness giving her a good excuse for this if Mary Higgins was required as a help to Dixon in the kitchen she was to hear and see as little of Frederick as possible and he was, if necessary to be spoken of to her under the name of Mr. Dickinson but her sluggish and incurious nature was the greatest safeguard of all they resolved that Martha should leave them that very afternoon for this visit to her mother Margaret wished that she had been sent away on the previous day as she fancied it might be thought strange to give a servant a holiday when her mistress's state required so much attendance poor Margaret all that afternoon she had to act the part of a Roman daughter and give strength out of her own scanty stock to her father Mr. Hale would hope would not despair between the attacks of his wife's malady he buoyed himself up in every respite from her pain and believed that it was the beginning of ultimate recovery and so when the paroxysms came on each more severe than the last they were fresh agonies and greater disappointments to him this afternoon he sat in the drawing room unable to bear the solitude of his study or to employ himself in any way he buried his head in his arms which lay folded on the table Margaret's heart ached to see him yet as he did not speak she did not like to volunteer any attempted comfort Martha was gone Dixon sat with Mrs. Hale while she slept the house was very still and quiet and darkness came on without any movement to procure candles Margaret sat at the window looking out at the lamps in the street but seeing nothing only alive to her father's heavy sighs she did not like to go down for lights lest the tacit restraint of her presence being withdrawn he might give way to more violent emotion without her being at hand to comfort him yet she was just thinking that she ought to go and see after the well-doing of the kitchen fire which there was nobody but herself to attend to she heard the muffled door ring was so violent a pull that the wires jingled all through the house though the positive sound was not great she started up passed her father who had never moved at the veiled doll's sound returned and kissed him tenderly and still he never moved nor took any notice of her fond embrace then she went down softly through the dark to the door Dixon would have put the chain on before she opened it she thought of fear in her preoccupied mind a man's tall figure stood between her and the luminous street he was looking away but at the sound of the latch he turned quickly round is this Mr. Hales said he in a clear, full, delicate voice Margaret trembled all over at first she did not answer and a moment she sighed out Frederick and stretched out both her hands to catch his and draw him in oh Margaret said he holding her off by her shoulders after they had kissed each other as if even in that darkness he could see her face and read in its expression a quicker answer to his question than words could give my mother, is she alive? yes she is alive dear, dear brother she, as ill as she can be she is, but alive she is alive thank God said he is utterly prostrate with this great grief you expect me, don't you? no, we have had no letter that I have come before it but my mother knows I am coming oh, we all knew you would come but wait a little step in here give me your hand what is this? oh, your carpet bag Dixon has shut the shutters but this is Papa's study and I can take you to a chair to rest yourself for a few minutes while I go and tell him she groped her way to the taper and the Lucifer matches she suddenly felt shy when the little feeble light made them visible all she could see was that her brother's face was unusually dark in complexion and she caught the stealthy look of a pair of remarkably long cut blue eyes that suddenly twinkled up with the droll consciousness of their mutual purpose of inspecting each other but though the brother and sister had an instant of sympathy and the reciprocal glances they did not exchange a word only Margaret felt sure that she should like her brother as a companion as much as she already loved him as a near relation her heart was wonderfully lighter as she went upstairs the sorrow was no less in reality but it became less oppressive from having someone in precisely the same relation to it as that in which she stood not her father's desponding attitude had power to damp her now he lay across the table helpless as ever but she had the spell by which to rouse him she used it perhaps too violently in her own great relief Papa said she throwing her arms fondly around his neck pulling his weary head up in fact with her gentle violence till it rested in her arms and she could look into his eyes and let them gain strength and assurance from hers Papa guess who was here he looked at her and told me sadness and me dismissance as a wild imagination he threw himself forward and hid his face once more and his stretched out arms resting upon the table as here to four she heard him whisper she bent tenderly down to listen I don't know don't tell me it is Frederick not Frederick I cannot bear it I am too weak and his mother is dying it was so different to all which Margaret had hoped and expected that she turned sick with disappointment and was silent for an instant then she spoke again very differently not so exultingly far more tenderly and carefully Papa it is Frederick think of Mama how glad she will be and oh for her sake how glad we ought to be for his sake too our poor poor boy her father did not change his attitude but he seemed to be trying to understand the fact where is he asked he at last his face still hidden in his prostrate arms in your study quite alone I lighted the taper and ran up to tell you he is quite alone and will be wondering why I will go to him broken her father and he lifted himself up and lent on her arm as on that of a guide Margaret led him to the study door but her spirits were so agitated that she felt she could not bear to see the meeting she turned away and ran upstairs and cried most heartily it was the first time she had dared to allow herself this relief for days the strain had been terrible as she now felt but Frederick was come he the one precious brother was there safe amongst them again she could hardly believe it she stopped her crying and opened her bedroom door she heard no sound of voices and almost feared she might have dreamt she went downstairs and listened at the study door she heard the buzz of voices and that was enough she went into the kitchen and stirred up the fire and lighted the house and prepared for the wanderer's refreshment how fortunate it was that her mother slept she knew that she did from the candle lighter thrust through the keyhole of her bedroom door the traveler could be refreshed and bright and the first excitement of the meeting with his father all be over before her mother became aware of anything unusual when all was ready Margaret opened the study door and went in like a serving maiden with a heavy tray held in her extended arms she was proud of serving Frederick but he when he saw her sprang up in a minute and relieved her of her burden it was a type a sign of all the coming relief which his presence would bring the brother and sister arranged the table together saying little but their hands touching and their eyes speaking the natural language of expression so intelligible to those of the same blood the fire had gone out and Margaret applied herself to light it for the evenings had begun to be chilly and yet it was desirable to make all noises as distant as possible from Mrs. Hale's room Dixon says it is the gift to light a fire not an art to be acquired Poeta, Nassatur, non-feet murdered Mr. Hale and Margaret was glad to hear a quotation once more however languidly given dear old Dixon how we shall kiss each other said Frederick she used to kiss me and then look in my face to be sure I was the right person and then set to again but Margaret what a bungler you are I never saw such a little awkward good-for-nothing pair of hands run away and wash them ready to cut bread and butter for me and leave the fire I'll manage it lighting fires is one of my natural accomplishments so Margaret went away and returned and passed in and out of the room in a glad restlessness that could not be satisfied with sitting still the more wants Frederick had the better she was pleased and he understood all this by instinct it was a joy snatched in the house of mourning and the zest of it was all the more pungent because they knew in the depths of their hearts what irremediable sorrow awaited them in the middle they heard Dixon's foot on the stairs Mr. Hale started from his languid posture in his great armchair and she had been watching his children in a dreamy way as if they were acting some drama of happiness which it was pretty to look at but which was distinct from reality and in which he had no part he stood up and faced the door showing such a strange sudden anxiety to conceal Frederick from the sight of any person entering even though it were the faithful Dixon that a shiver came over Margaret's heart it reminded her of the new fear in their lives she caught at Frederick's arm and clutched it tight while a stern thought compressed her brows and cost her to set her teeth and yet they knew it was only Dixon's measured tread they heard her walk the length of the passage into the kitchen Margaret rose up I will go to her and tell her and I shall hear how mama is Mrs. Hale was awake she rambled at first but after they had given her some tea she was refreshed though not disposed to talk it was better that the night should pass over before she was told of her son's arrival Dr. Donaldson's appointed visit would bring nervous excitement enough for the evening and he might tell them how to prepare her for seeing Frederick he was there in the house could be summoned at any moment Margaret could not sit still it was a relief to her to aid Dixon and all her preparations for Master Frederick it seemed as though she never could be tired again each glimpse into the room where he sat by his father conversing with him about what he cared to know was an increase of strength to her her own time for talking and hearing would come at last and she was too certain of this to feel in a hurry to grasp it now she took in his appearance and liked it he had delicate features redeemed from effeminacy by the swarthiness of his complexion and his quick intensity of expression his eyes were generally merry looking but at times they in his mouth so suddenly changed and gave her such an idea of latent passion that it almost made her afraid but this look was only for an instant and had in it no doggedness no vindictiveness it was rather the instantaneous ferocity of expression that comes over the countnesses of all natives of wild or southern countries a ferocity which enhances the charm of the childlike softness into which such a look may melt away Margaret might fear the violence of the impulsive nature thus occasionally betrayed but there was nothing in it to make her distrust or recoil in the least from the newfound brother on the contrary all their intercourse was peculiarly charming to her from the very first she knew then how much responsibility she had had to bear from the exquisite sensation of relief which she felt in Frederick's presence he understood his father and mother their characters and their weaknesses and went along with a careless freedom which was yet most delicately careful not to hurt or wound any of their feelings he seemed to know instinctively when a little of the natural brilliancy of his manner in conversation would not jar on the deep depression of his father or might relieve his mother's pain whenever it would have been out of tune and out of time his patient devotion and watchfulness came into play and made him an admirable nurse then Margaret was almost touched into tears by the illusions which she often made to their childish days in the new forest even her or Halston either all the time he had been roaming among distant countries and foreign people she might talk to him of the old spot and never fear tiring him she had been afraid of him before he came even while she had longed for his coming seven or eight years had she felt produced such great changes in herself that forgetting how much of the original Margaret was left she had reasoned that if her taste and feelings had so materially altered even her stay at home life his wild career with which she was but imperfectly acquainted must have also substituted another Frederick for the tall stripling in his Mitty's uniform whom she remembered looking up to with such admiring awe but in their absence they had grown nearer to each other in age as well as in many other things and so it was that the wait the sorrowful time was lightened to Margaret other light than that of Frederick's presence she had none for a few hours the mother rallied on seeing her son she sat with his hand in hers she would not part with it even while she slept and Margaret had to feed him like a baby rather than that he should disturb her mother by removing a finger Mrs. Hale wakened while they were thus engaged she slowly moved her head round on the pillow and smiled at her children as she understood what they were doing and why it was done I am very selfish said she will not be for long Frederick bent down and kissed the feeble hand that imprisoned his this state of tranquility could not endure for many days nor perhaps for many hours so Dr. Donaldson assured Margaret after the kind doctor had gone away she stole down to Frederick who during the visit had been adjourned to remain quietly concealed in the back parlor usually Dickson's bedroom but now given up to him Margaret told him what Dr. Donaldson said I don't believe it he exclaimed she is very ill, she may be dangerously ill and in immediate danger too but I can't imagine that she could be as she is if she were on the point of death Margaret she should have some other advice some London doctor have you never thought of that Yes said Margaret more than once but I don't believe it would do any good and you know we have not the money to bring any great London surgeon down I'm sure Dr. Donaldson is only second in skill to the very best if indeed he is to them Frederick began to walk up and down the room impatiently I have credit in Cadiz said he but none here owing to this wretched change of name why did my father leave Hellston that was the blunder it was no blunder said Margaret gloomily and above all possible chances avoid letting papa hear anything like you have just been saying I can see that he is tormenting himself already with the idea that mama would never have been ill if we had stayed at Hellston and you don't know papa's agonizing power of self-reproach Frederick walked away as if he were on the quarter-deck at last he stopped right opposite to Margaret and looked at her drooping and desponding attitude for an instant my little Margaret said he caressing her let us hope as long as we can poor little woman what is this face all wet with tears I will hope I will in spite of a thousand doctors bear up Margaret and be brave enough to hope Margaret choked in trying to speak and when she did it was very low I must try to be meek enough to trust oh Frederick mama was getting to love me so and I was getting to understand her and now death comes to snap us asunder come come come let us go upstairs and do something rather than waste time that may be so precious thinking has many a time made me sad darling but doing never did in all my life my theory is a sort of parody on the maxim of get money my son honestly if you can but get money my precept is do something my sister do good if you can but at any rate do something not excluding mischief excluding mischief said Margaret smiling faintly through her tears by no means what I do exclude is the remorse afterwards watch your misdeeds out if you are particularly conscientious by a good deed as soon as you can just as we did a correct some at school on the slate where an incorrect one was only half rubbed out it was better than wetting our sponge with our tears both less loss of time where tears had to be waited for and a better effect at last if Margaret thought Frederick's theory rather a rough one at first she saw how he worked it out into continual production of kindness in fact after a bad night with his mother for he insisted on taking his churn as a setter up he was busy next morning before breakfast contriving a leg rest for Dixon who was beginning to feel the fatigues of watching at breakfast time he interested Mr. Hale with a vivid graphic rattling accounts of the wild life that he had led in Mexico, South America and elsewhere Margaret would have given up the effort in despair to rouse Mr. Hale out of his dejection it would even have affected herself and rendered her incapable of talking at all but Fred, true to his theory did something perpetually and talking was the only thing to be done besides eating at breakfast before the night of that day Dr. Donaldson's opinion was proved to be too well founded convulsions came on Mrs. Hale was unceased Mrs. Hale was unconscious her husband might lie by her shaking the bed with his sobs her son's strong arms might lift her tenderly up into a comfortable position her daughter's hands might bathe her face but she knew them not she would never recognize them again till they met in heaven before the morning came all was over then Margaret rose from her trembling and despondency to her father and brother for Frederick had broken down now and all his theories were of no use to him he cried so violently when shut up alone in his little room at night that Margaret and Dixon came down in a fright to warn him to be quiet for the house partitions were but thin and the next door neighbors might easily hear his youthful passionate sobs so different from the slower trembling agony of afterlife when we become enured to grief and dare not be rebellious against the inexorable doom knowing who it is that decrees Margaret sat with her father in the room with the dead if he had cried she would have been thankful but he sat by the bed quite quietly only from time to time he uncovered the face and stroked it gently making a kind of soft inarticulate noise like that of some mother animal caressing her young he took no notice of Margaret's presence once or twice she came up to kiss him he was submitted to it giving her a little push away when she had done as if her affection disturbed him from his absorption in the dead he started when he heard Frederick's cries and shook his head poor boy, poor boy he said and took no more notice Margaret's heart ached within her she could not think of her own loss and thinking of her father's case the night was wearing away and the day was at hand when without a word of preparation Margaret's voice broke upon the stillness of the room with a clearness of sound that startled even herself let not your heart be troubled it said and she went steadily on through all that chapter of unspeakable consolation End of Chapter 30 Recording by Leanne Howlett For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org This reading by Lucy Burgoyne North and South by Elizabeth Clegghorn Gaskell Chapter 31 Should old acquaintance be forgot Show not that manner and these features all the serpents cunning and the sinners fail Crabe The chill, shivery October morning came not the October morning of the country with soft silvery mists clearing off before the sunbeams that bring out all the gorgeous beauty of colouring but the October morning of Milton whose silver mists were heavy fogs and where the sun could only show long dusky streets when he did break through Margaret went languidly about assisting Dixon in her task of arranging the house her eyes were continually blinded by tears but she had no time to give way to regular crying the father and brother depended upon her while they were giving way to grief she must be working planning, considering even the necessary arrangements for the funeral seemed to devolve upon her when the fire was bright and crackling when everything was ready for breakfast and the tea kettle was singing away Margaret gave a last look round the room before going to summon Mr. Hale and Frederick she wanted everything to look as cheerful as possible and yet when it did so the contrast between it and her own thoughts forced her into sudden weeping she was kneeling by the sofa hiding her face in the cushions that no one might hear her cry when she was touched on the shoulder by Dixon come Miss Hale come my dear you must not give way or where shall we all be there is not another person in the house fit to give a direction of any kind to be done there's who's to manage the funeral and who's to come to it and where it's to be and all to be settled and Master Frederick's like one praised with crying and Master never was a good one for settling and poor gentleman he goes about now as if he was lost it's bad enough my dear I know but death comes to us all and you're well off never to have lost any friend till now perhaps so but this seemed a loss by itself not to bear comparison with any other event in the world Margaret did not take any comfort from what Dixon said that the unusual tenderness of the prim old servant's manner touched her to the heart and more from a desire to show her gratitude for this and for any other reason she roused herself up and smiled in answer to Dixon's anxious look at her and went to tell her father and brother that breakfast was ready Mr. Hale came as if in a dream or rather with the unconscious motion of a sleepwalker whose eyes and mind perceive other things than what are present Frederick came briskly in with a forced cheerfulness grasped her hand looked into her eyes and burst into tears she had to try and think of little nothings to say or breakfast time in order to prevent the recurrence of her companion's thoughts too strongly to the last meal they had taken together when there had been a continual strange listening for some sound or signal from the sick room after breakfast she resolved to speak to her father about the funeral he shook his head and assented to all she proposed though many of her propositions absolutely contradicted one another Margaret gained no real decision from him and was leaving the room languidly to have a consultation with Dixon when Mr. Hale came back to his side asked Mr. Bell said he in a hollow voice Mr. Bell said she a little surprised Mr. Bell of Oxford Mr. Bell he repeated yes he was my groom's men Margaret understood the association I will write today said she he sunk again into listlessness all morning she toiled on longing for rest but in a continual world of melancholy business towards evening Dixon said to her I've done it miss I was really afraid for master that he'd have a stroke with grief he's been all this day with poor misses and when I've listened at the door I've heard him talking to her and talking to her as if she was alive when I went in he would be quite quiet but all in a maze like so I thought to myself he ought to be roused and if it gives him a shock at first it will maybe be the better afterwards so I've been and told him that I don't think it's safe for master Frederick to be here and I don't it was only on Tuesday when I was out that I met a Southampton man the first I've seen since I came to Milton they don't make their way much up here I think well it was young Lennards old Lennards the draper's son as great a scamp as ever lived who plagued his father almost to death and then ran off to sea I never could avoid him he was in the Orion as master Frederick I know though I don't recollect if he was there at the mutiny did he know you said Margaret eagerly why that's the worst of it I don't believe he would have known me but for my being such a fool as to call out his name he were a Southampton man in a strange place or else I should never have been so ready to call cousins with him a nasty good-for-nothing fellow says he Miss Dixon who would have thought of seeing you here but perhaps I'm a snake and you're Miss Dixon no longer so I told him he might still address me as an unmarried lady though if I hadn't been so particular I'd had good chances of matrimony he was polite enough he couldn't look at me and doubt me but I were not to be caught with such chaufe from such a fellow as him and so I told him and by way of being even I asked him after his father who I knew had turned him out of doors as if they were the best friends as ever was so then to spite me for you see we were getting savage for all we were he began to inquire after Master Frederick and said what a scrape he'd got into as if Master Frederick's scrapes would ever wash George Leonard's white or make him look otherwise the nasty dirty black and how he'd be hung for mutiny if ever he were caught and how a hundred pound reward had been offered for catching him and what a disgrace he had been to his family all to spite me you see my dear because before now I've helped old Mr Leonard's to give George a good rating down in Southampton so I said there were other families be thankful if they could think they were earning an honest living as I knew who had far more cause to blush for their sons and too far away from home to which he made answer like the impudent chap he is that he were in a confidential situation and if I knew of any young man who had been so unfortunate as to lead vicious courses and wanted to turn steady he'd have no objection to lend him his patronage he indeed why he'd corrupt a saint I've not felt so bad myself for years as when I was standing talking to him the other day I could have cried to think I couldn't spite him better that he kept smiling in my face as if he took all my compliments for earnest and I couldn't see that he minded what I said in the least while I was mad with all his speeches but you did not tell him anything about us about Frederick Dickson he had never the grace to ask where I was staying and I shouldn't have told him if he had asked nor did I ask him what his precious situation was he was waiting for a bus and just then it drove up and he hailed it but to plague me to the last he turned back before he got in and said if you can help me to trap Lieutenant we'll go partners in the reward I know you'd like to be my partner now wouldn't you don't be shy but say yes and he jumped on the bus and I saw his ugly face leering at me with a wicked smile to think how he had the last word of plaguing Margaret was made very uncomfortable by this account of Dickson's have you told Frederick she no said Dickson I were uneasy in my mind at knowing that bad Lennards was in town but there was so much else to think about that I did not dwell on it at all that when I saw master sitting so stiff and with his eyes so glazed and sad I thought it might rouse him to have to think of master Frederick's safety a bit so I told him all I blushed to say how a young man had been speaking to me and it has done master good and if were to keep master Frederick in hiding he would have to go poor fellow before Mr Bell came oh I'm not afraid of Mr Bell but I am afraid of this Lennards I must tell Frederick what did Lennards look like a bad looking fellow I can assure you miss whiskers such as I should be ashamed to wear they are so red and for all he said he'd got a confidential situation he was dressed in fustian just like a working man it was evident that Frederick must go go to when he had so completely vaulted into his place in the family and promised to be such a stay and sister go when his cares for the living mother and sorrow for the dead seemed to make him one of those peculiar people who are bound to us by a fellow love for them that are taken away just as Margaret was thinking all this sitting over the drawing room fire her father restless and uneasy under the pressure of this newly aroused fear he had not as yet spoken Frederick came in his brightness dimmed but the extreme violence of his grief passed away he came up to Margaret and kissed her forehead how wane you look Margaret said he in a low voice you have been thinking of everybody and no one has thought of you lie on this sofa there is nothing for you to do the worst said Margaret in a sad whisper but she went and lay down and her brother covered her feet with a shawl and then sat on the ground by her side the two began to talk in a subdued tone Margaret told him all that Dixon had related of her interview with young Lennards Frederick's lips closed with a long view of dismay he liked to have it out with that young fellow a worse sailor was never on board ship nor a much worse man either I declare Margaret you know the circumstances of the whole affair yes mama told me well when all the sailors who were good for anything were indignant with our captain disfellow to curry favour pah he's being here oh if he'd a notion I was within twenty miles of him he'd ferret me out to pay off old grudges I'd rather anybody had the hundred pounds they think I am worth than that rascal what a pity poor old Dixon could not be persuaded to give me up and make a provision for her old age oh Frederick hush don't talk so Mr. Hale came towards them eager and trembling he had overheard what they were saying he took Frederick's hand in both of his my boy you must go it is very bad but I see you must you have done all you could you have been a comfort to her oh papa must he go said Margaret pleading against her own conviction of necessity I declare I have a good mind to face it out stand my trial if I could only pick up my evidence I cannot endure the thought of being in the power of such a black guard as Lennards I could almost have enjoyed in other circumstances to stole and visit it has all the charm which the French woman attributed to forbidden pleasures one of the earliest things I can remember said Margaret with your being in some great disgrace Fred for stealing apples we had plenty of our own trees loaded with them but someone had told you that stolen fruit tasted sweetest which you took or pie dealer letter and off you went a robbing you have not changed your feelings much since then repeated Mr. Hale answering Margaret's question which she had asked some time ago his thoughts were fixed on one subject and it was an effort to him to follow the zigzag remarks of his children an effort which he did not make Margaret and Frederick looked at each other that quick momentary sympathy would be theirs no longer if he went away which was understood through eyes that could not be put into words but caused the same thought till it was lost in sadness Frederick shook it off first do you know Margaret I was very nearly giving both Dixon and myself a good fright this afternoon I was in my bedroom I had heard a ring at the door but I thought the ringer must have done his business my way long ago so I was on the point of making my appearance in the passage when as I opened my room door I saw Dixon coming downstairs and she frowned and kicked me into hiding again I kept the door open and heard a message given to some man that was in my father's study and that then went away who could it have been some of the shopman very lightly said Margaret indifferently there was a little quiet man who came up for orders about to a cop but this was not a little man a great powerful fellow and it was past four when he was here it was Mr. Thornton said Mr. Hale they were glad to have drawn him into the conversation Mr. Thornton said Margaret first I thought well little one what did you think? asked Frederick as she did not finish her sentence oh only said she reddening and looking straight at him I fancied you meant someone of a different class not a gentleman somebody come on an errand he looked like someone that kind said Frederick carelessly took him for a shopman and he turns out a manufacturer Margaret was silent she remembered how at first before she knew his character she had spoken and thought of him just as Frederick was doing it was but a natural impression that was made upon him and yet she was a little annoyed by it she was unwilling to speak she wanted to make Frederick understand a person Mr. Thornton was but she was tongue tied Mr. Hale went on he came to offer any assistance in his power I believe but I could not see him I told Dixon to ask him if he would like to see you I think I asked her to find you and you would go to him I don't know what I said he has been a very agreeable acquaintance has he not asked Frederick throwing the question like a ball for anyone to catch who chose a very kind friend said Margaret when her father did not answer Frederick was silent for a time at last he spoke Margaret it is painful to think I can never thank those who have shown you kindness your acquaintances and mine must be separate unless indeed I run the chances of a court-martial or unless you and my father would come to Spain he threw out this last suggestion as a kind of feeler and then suddenly made the plunge you don't know how I wish you would I have a good position the chance of a better continued he that Dolores that I was telling you of Margaret I only wish you knew her I am sure you would like no love is the right word life is so poor you would love her father if you knew her she is not 18 but if she is in the same mind another year she is to be my wife Mr. Barber won't let us call a engagement but if you would come you would find friends everywhere besides Dolores think of it father Margaret be on my side no no more removals for me said Mr. Hale one removal has cost me my wife no more removals in this life she will be here and here will I stay at my appointed time Mr. Barber said Margaret tell us more about her I never thought of this but I am so glad you will have someone to love and care for you out there tell us all about it in the first place she is a Roman Catholic that's the only objection I anticipated but my father's change of opinion no Margaret don't sigh a little more before the conversation ended Frederick himself was Roman Catholic in fact though not in profession as yet this was then the reason why his sympathy in her extreme distress at her father's leaving the church had been so faintly expressed in his letters she had thought it was the carelessness of a sailor but the truth was even then he was himself inclined to give up the form of religion into which he had been baptized only that his opinions were tending in exactly the opposite direction to those of his father how much love had to do with this change not even Frederick himself could have told Margaret gave up talking about this branch of the subject and returning to the fact of the engagement she began to consider it in some fresh light but for her sake Fred you surely will try and clear yourself of the exaggerated charges brought against you even if the charge of mutiny itself be true if there were to be a court marshal and you could find your witnesses you might at any rate how your disobedience to authority was because that authority was unworthily exercised Mr. Hale roused himself up to listen to his son's answer in the first place Margaret who is to hunt up my witnesses all of them are sailors drafted off to other ships except those whose evidence would go for very little as they took part was sympathised in the affair in the next place allow me to tell you you don't know what a court marshal is and consider it as an assembly where justice is administered instead of what it really is a court where authority weighs nine tenths in the balance and evidence forms only the other tenth in such cases evidence itself can hardly escape being influenced by the prestige of authority but it is not worth trying to see how much evidence might be discovered and arrayed on your behalf at present all those who knew you formally believe you guilty without any shadow of excuse you have never tried to justify yourself and we have never known where to seek for evidence of your justification now for Miss Barber's sake make your conduct as clear as you can in the eye of the world she may not care for it she has I am sure that trust in you that we all have but you ought not to let her ally herself to one under such a serious charge without showing the world exactly how it is you stand you disobeyed authority that was bad but to have stood by without word or act while the authority was brutally used would have been infinitely worse people know what you did but not the motives that elevated out of a crime into an heroic protection of the weak for Dolores's sake they ought to know but how must I make them know I am not sufficiently sure of the purity and justice of those who would be my judges to give myself up to a court martial even if I could bring a whole array of truth speaking witnesses I can't send a Belman about to cry aloud and proclaim in the streets what you are pleased to call my heroism no one would read a pamphlet of self-justification so long after the deed even if I put one out will you consult a lawyer as to your chances of exculpitation ass Margaret looking up and turning very red I must first catch my lawyer and have a good look at him and see how I like him before I make him into my confident many a breathless barrister might twist his conscience into thinking that he could earn a hundred pounds very easily by doing a good action in giving me a criminal up to justice nonsense Frederick because I know a lawyer on whose honour I can rely of whose cleverness in his profession people speak very highly and who would I think would feel of trouble for any of Avan Shaw's relations Mr Henry Lenox Papa I think it is a good idea said Mr Hale but don't propose anything which will detain Frederick in England don't for your mother's sake you could go to London tomorrow evening by a night train continued Margaret warming up into her plan she prayed Papa said she tenderly we fix that because of Mr Bell and Dickson's disagreeable acquaintance yes I must go tomorrow said Frederick decidedly Mr Hale groaned I can't bear to part with you and yet I am miserable with anxiety as long as you stop here well then said Margaret listen to my plan to London on Friday morning I will you might know it would be better for me to give him a note to Mr Lenox you will find him at his chambers in the temple I will write down a list of all the names I can remember on board the Orion I could leave it with him to ferret them out he is Edith's husband's brother isn't he? I remember your naming him in your letters I had money in Barbara's hand I can pay a pretty long bill if there is any chance of success money dear father that I had meant for a different purpose so I shall only consider it as borrowed from you and Margaret don't do that said Margaret you won't risk it if you do and it will be a risk only it is worth trying you can sail from London from Liverpool to be sure little goose wherever I feel water heaving under a plank there I feel at home I'll pick up some craft or other to take me off never fear I won't stay 24 hours in London away from you on the one hand and from somebody else on the other it was rather a comfort to Margaret that Frederick took it into his head to look over her shoulder as she wrote to Mr Lennox if she had not been thus compelled to write steadily and concisely on she might have hesitated over many a word and been puzzled to choose between many an expression in the awkwardness of being the first to resume the intercourse of which the concluding event had been so unpleasant to both sides however the note was taken from her before she had even had time to look it over and treasured up in a pocket book out of which fell a long lock of black hair the sight of which caused Frederick's eyes to glow with pleasure now you would like to see that wouldn't you, said he no, you must wait till you see her herself she is too perfect to be known by fragments no mean brick shall be as specimen of the building of my palace End of chapter 31