Ladies and gentlemen, let me see here Want to pop in for a live tonight? Thank you for joining me. Let me make sure I got all systems Set up right on here. All right Think I got the bless tribe. Okay, so the bless tribe is Eligible in here Able to chat Let me see right Boyfriend scarred by past relationships. How do I handle this? Well, you don't handle that he handles that So you can't ever let that be an excuse because everybody that went through something and It's a lot of people that went through a whole lot worse than a bad past relationship So as adults we got to heal ourselves So if you ever get with somebody and then I willing to do the work then You give them a period of time six to twelve months and if they're damaging you because of their past damage You got to go Miss J jump right on in here. Say she ain't playing with y'all now Miss J. God bless you. Is it a good idea to help an ex mentally? And is it okay to still keep in contact with his family? How to make him realize that he's about to lose something good completely? Um, no, it's not a good idea to help your ex mentally and no It's not a good idea to keep in touch with his family. That's setting you up for failure And the other thing is a man already realizes. Oh, y'all hold on one second. I hold on one second I hold on now. Okay Got this thing set up. Okay. My bad. I had to Cut off my phone cut off my Do not disturb forgot to do that So now realize a man already knows what he's getting ready to lose so You really don't take a man losing you to find out that you good and That's one of the misconceptions that a lot of women have is you think that This man need to lose you to realize that he lost a good thing He'd know you good already, but he might not be willing to be good enough for you He might not care that you a good woman because see what a lot of men If they're not ready to grow and not ready to change they want you to stoop to their level Instead of them elevate into your level Can a friend with benefits ever turn into a relationship? Anything is possible.  You're not good enough to be the star in my movie You good enough to be a supporting cast member That's what he's saying to you when he allows you to be friends with benefits And that's why it rarely turns into a relationship Hey, welcome to the new members as y'all can see to be a part of the chat and ask questions You got to be a member of the blessed tribe He's 29. I'm 37 too much of an age difference. Yes, it is and mainly because you are the woman and So a 37 year old woman is really equivalent to a 45 year old man in you know Mental maturity, so when you got a 29 year old man, that's really like a 20 to 25 year old woman So you have to deal with a lot more headaches with a younger man unless he's an exception to the rule Now if he's an exception to the rule then that's different But you'll know that and that'll be clear and you probably wouldn't be asking that question if he's a clear exception to the rule What does it say about a man that shows favoritism amongst his children, but says he's a good father? It really says he's human it just says he's human and if he's not in the home With his children and even if he is in there It just it kind of all parents are like that Most parents have a favorite and try to hide it try not to show it But especially men because men aren't as emotional and men don't express emotions as Much or as well as women so it's harder for a man to fake it so if a man has a child and that child reminds him of a certain time in his life or a Certain woman or a certain thing. He may be a little You know standoffish a little bit and then if this other child Reminds him of a beautiful time in his life where he was you know He was straight in his head and he was more mature then He may treat that child a little differently and women do the same thing as well So as long as he's not you know toxic and abusive or like downright nasty That that slight difference that you may notice Other people may not notice it children may not may not notice it But if it's noticeable, then you got to call it out. You got to speak to it. If that's your man Eva in God bless you just signed up as a coach enjoying it more than my previous career as a counselor Thanks Eva. Hey Eva. God bless you now. So I'm guessing you saying that you Signed up as a coach on my mentor and If you did Congratulations and also, you know, make sure you take that link take your link on from my mentor dot life Take that link and post it. Okay. I see you did post it in your Twitter bio Instagram bio and your Facebook bio because a lot of times you got people right there Who are friends or followers of yours that will love to work with you and didn't know that they could do it virtually So make sure you post that in the bios and make sure you mention it at least once a week on your social media All it takes one person to see it Tony God bless you now. Hi, Tony. Why does a man ask? How much you make and what you spend your pay on? That's a little bowl, you know, that's a little bowl I'm not sure why that man asking that because it could be two two reasons. He could either be Dave Ramsey nephew and he want to know Because he frugal or he could be a scammer and he want to see how he could come up on your finances So it's typically one or two reason you got to look at him What he earns and how he spends his money to be able to tell which one he is But being is this your boyfriend.  However, you will say it now But you got to be okay with that and that's one of them question that falls under that ain't none of your business He says I'm asking for too much But I just wanted him to treat me with respect because I got tired of his disrespect Track shoes did I do right? Yep, you did right? This respect got to be addressed you cannot allow Anybody to disrespect you and I had to explain it over and over and over and over again when I was telling people about the video when I'm talking about the different forms of Abuse and what I was talking about how it's all bad all of it. You should leave But it's not all the exact same. They all break you down differently and that's why it's a Assorted attack. That's why Men and women who are that way they'll do it differently at different times and use it in different ways because Although it's all bad. Although it's all toxic. Although it all can lead you to the same destination You get there a different way.  God bless you. My ex wants me back. It's causing great tension that I won't take him back How can I get him to understand? I'm not ready because of the damages he did he already understands that But what you got to understand is that he doesn't respect or love you and that's why he's trying to force you against your will And he's trying to coerce you to give him what he wants because he doesn't respect you So instead of you trying to get him to understand what you need to understand that you got to cut him all the way off and Move on with your life Because he's trying to coerce you to do what he wants you to do Because he doesn't respect your heart and your mind Lanita boy can God bless you not Sarah God bless you. I'm tall and thin Boyfriend told me he has only liked and dated short girls But took a chance and made exception for me feeling insecure about it, though Rightfully so, you know, he was ignorant to say that but that's also a red flag when a man verbalizes something that he sees as a inadequacy or a deficiency in you and he lets you know that that's a form of Emotional Okay, that's a form of that emotional of you. Okay Peggy, what are the 499 999 10 postings for those are people who? Given a donation they given a donation to you know me to the video and asking a question And some just give a donation. That's what you're seeing up there I don't know how I look on y'all in how y'all able to do that, but um Lord know The plate so appreciated now Lord know So you got to realize that by that man and you should never be with a man Who makes you feel insecure about yourself? And the reason why some men will do that is to break you down so that you will be Worshiping him so that you will be sucking up to him So that you'll be trying to win his love and affection And you should never be in that if he feels insecure about being with a taller woman or tall woman That's his insecurity and he shouldn't project that on to you So you got to realize that and you got to check that and ask yourself Do I really want to be here where I'm not celebrated didn't be dealing with this short man Even if he's not short He's short if he calling you tall if he mentioned in the fact that you tall Then you need to think about do you need to go be with you a tall man? See what I mean? So pay attention to the other things He says and does with that to make sure it wasn't just a slip of the tongue You know make sure it was a slip of the tongue or something that's serious Shanice God bless you now. Hey Tony. What are your thoughts when a man says no man can treat you better Or you can't find a man like me.  That's how a woman's mind works a woman. Mine is very inquisitive You know very curious and so men know that so men know that if we say something to you in a relationship and it is Disrespectful or what up the meaning men know that a woman most women Gonna sit and think about that over and over and over again And that's why he said that because he knows that it's a 50-50 chance that him telling you You'll never find a man that's gonna treat you better than him If he knows it's a 50-50 chance that you're gonna believe that lie and You're gonna block your blessings because you believe what he told you actually God bless you now I just wanted to send a blessing. I finally got the courage to start dating again after almost a year Because of the encouragement and truth in your videos. Thank you. Hey, bless you now. Bless you Crystal God bless a met a guy who is separated Says he is getting a divorce and that he is in his third month in the divorce process He has been single for nine months says he wants to take things slow. Is this a red flag? Yes, it's a red flag because for one, you don't know if it's true To you don't know if he's going all the way through with the divorce three he's still married so that mean you dealing with him you in adultery and For he has a soul tie and he's had no time to heal from that woman because they still technically together So that is a red flag. You need a man. That's completely single and ready and available Literally physically Spiritually and emotionally the fact that he want to take things slow. It means that he's emotionally Unavailable and so you will be setting yourself up for failure to be dealing with him Zyger God bless you now for giving for saying your name hot if I'm saying the wrong Just sending love and blessings. Thank you for what you do. I am the Empress and If a man can't value this queen, he's not man enough for me. I know my word God bless a bless you now believe that now Enchanted flame God bless you.  Especially women lol, but I know the truth. Well, you know, like they say what you don't know won't hurt you and Ain't none of the business. That's just how it is Anytime somebody telling you what they making unless they showing unless they show you the bank statement or the piece of paper That's everybody you help mention. They finances. They pretty much doubling it most most of the time They pretty nine out of ten people doubling especially men. So Men known we known exaggerate now by by by numbers Hi, we're gonna give ourself two more inches Airwell gonna give ourself two more inches Income gonna give ourself an extra comma or two men. No, I remember one. I ain't have a dime I was telling people I make 12 million a year. I Probably barely was sniffing 120,000 I was telling people I make 12 million now, you know people know what 12 million look like And I ain't look no one here 12 million, but why so aligned I was lying you hear me But that's just me and for you now.  I'm 40. He is 52 dating a month now praise in the AM and PM with me Every day we go to church together online now committed. He is looking for a ring red flag Well Me personally as a man I really don't trust overly religious men just me personally as a man Man doing all that praying what you're saying before a 52 years old playboy Unless you're apostle Paul and you've been around here used to persecute the church and not a Lord Using you to write the next 13 books of the Bible you doing all that praying and all that church going why are you still single? Why you available and why you talking to a woman that's 12 years younger than you when it's men that and had a had a First daughter at 12 years old. So There's some red flags in the night, but the thing about it is at 52 He didn't been around the block two and a half times. So he know how to do everything, right?   That's what he telling you so When a man tell you that You got to believe him Because if you don't believe him You giving him authorization To dog you out and that's exactly what he's gonna do Brittany God bless your now friend with benefits always goes above and beyond when we hang out He's 26 owns two businesses very hard working and busy a lot of the time It's still new am I wasting my time now, Brittany Now if you done been here Okay, this would let y'all know That y'all Be wasting my time and it y'all be wasting your time Because now if you don't been here now, you know, I told you about them friend with benefits Friend with benefits is always always always wasted your time Because there are no benefits to friends with benefits. There are no benefits to friends with benefits There are benefits to being friends But there are no benefits to friends with benefits So that's what you got to realize and understand you can't be no friends with benefits now You're gonna be all the way in all the way out because when you right now, you're gonna get split right down the middle Hit me in more ways than one Tammy God bless you now. Hello, mr. Tony. I appreciate how you've been blessing me from afar I was married for 20 years Then 10 and I'm now divorced again at 50 God navigated me to your page. I just got a woman's influence going to start it tonight Hey, God bless you now if you have not read a woman's influence Make sure you read this book now. We really me and my wife wrote that put everything into it It'll it'll bless you if you really really looking for Some insight tt. God bless you Purchase home in predominantly white neighborhood with 10 rated public schools or A more diverse neighborhood with low rated public schools and invest in private school single mother of four-year-old black son your opinion Well, it really The neighborhood don't get the best you can afford Regardless of if it's wide or if it's diverse Get the best you can afford and if you can afford private school and it's difference now if you a Christian It's different between a private school and a Christian school. So my son go to a private Christian school So now a private Christian school is different in a private school because some private school They pray all kind of stuff and it's all kind of drugs and cussing and Nastiness at my son's school. He go to a private Christian school We started there when he was in preschool three my oldest son and on financial aid So just paying a little bit and then as my business went up and grew now We paying for tuition, but I wouldn't change it for the world because the people who invest and spend that money We even they got to get financial aid for their kids It mean they want a smaller environment a better environment and They trying to get their kids in a learning situation We had to do it because my son was premature So he had a lot of eczema his skin looked like it was just peeling off and in public school Where you got kids who may be coming from a group home may be coming from a single parent home That is toxic because the mom is not stable or the dad is not stable Maybe coming from a toxic to parent home to where you have a lot more kids that's raising themselves That's where I went to school at it's a lot of bullying a lot of cursing a lot of Advanced they way more advanced now.  I was making $20,000 a year I thought I was making 20,000 a year maybe 40,000 a year. So it's about faith It's about just saying a this what I want I'm going to get it and so being a minority you get that because they need minorities in them schools and then Get that financial aid and it changed my son's life. It changed their life I look at the I look at the public school system and it's just a lot of them teachers hate being there and It's terrible. That's a whole book Miss Tiff God bless you when your husband comes over to the house and shows you what the other woman has bought What is your thoughts on this during separation?  You got to set new boundaries y'all He shouldn't even have the freedom to show you what another woman buying him.  I really ain't that God bless you Some y'all be listening to city girls Tell me y'all. Yeah, some y'all taking relationship advice from the city girls Evet God bless you. I really ain't got time tonight Revelation blessing blessing I show appreciate that blessing So ain't got the time tonight now Lord give me the grace and the peace Cuz not so many something y'all question y'all be asking me y'all be about to make me go back to the past Yeah, I see questions in a different way But listen, I watched the video I did today that I posted earlier today talking about character Where I talked about character, okay Why is it that men always blame a woman for the breakup?  It's like right there, you know, like a lot of men rather be six feet under than to live with failure So when a man fails in a relationship a lot of time he try to do whatever he can To write write it in his mind write the wrong in his mind so he could live with itself How can a guy date you and create a soul tire for it to be a lie? He wasn't over his ex had her clothes in his house and pics viz in the phone Humans are selfish and that's what you got to realize, you know It's a whole lot that man doing and that man gonna do that y'all gonna wonder how can he do this? How can he do this? It's just solely because he thinking about itself and not you Maryland God bless you now. Hey Tony just found out my ex is in a new relationship from my daughter It's extremely painful. How to let go I got a course on Tony gasses academy calm called when to let go and What you got to do in a situation like that when you moving on You got to look at the Man and you got to realize why you left him You got to think about why y'all broke up and that's when you start to realize that you're not losing anything So if he was worth keeping if he was worth being your man, y'all would be together So you really got the process because see the way the mind work We remember things better than it actually was and So you got to take in and look at it and say, okay, I'm actually losing a man She gained in the cheater or she gained in a you know liar or she gained in a man who won't accept responsibility You so I'm not really losing you're not losing a man You losing a grown boy She look God bless you now does it mean anything other than a setup or a test? When a man actually shows you his financial portfolio, that's personal For one it means he's not used to it It mean that he's not he still has a process that this his money that this is his money It means he's not used to it. It also means that it it defines him It means that that's where he gets his worth That also means that he could feel like if he shows you his money and You are with him, but you don't look like the type of woman that would have normally been with him Then he gonna feel like you're with him for his money He's gonna feel like he bought you and anything that a man buys he thinks he owns So you got to be careful with that and it's not just that one act But you got to look at everything else that goes with that if you see any other ownership mentality actions That's gonna help you realize Tell me God bless you now I was planning a trip back home to see an ex But counsel my plans as I'm learning more and more about self-love God bless you now Am I being petty PS? I bought the self-love course and a woman's influence No, you're not being petty. You're not being petty.  That's gas money or flight money. That's time That's time off from work to go see a ex instead of preparing your heart and your mind for your next So so no you're not doing anything wrong with that right there now You're doing the right thing Dianne T. God bless you. Hey Tony. Just want to be a blessing to you and your lovely wife I just ordered a woman's influence book from Amazon God bless you tremendously Thank you for being transparent and hilarious Diane God bless you now. Thank you for getting that book Let me grab Gina real quick. Do you think it's God's will for some people to be single forever is or does God intend for? Everyone to find a mate. Do you know God bless you now for one? I Can't really tell you everything what the Lord thinking cuz you know, I'm not the Lord But you got to look at the evidence in the word God made man and then he made one and four man So that right there lets us know that he intended for us to be with somebody When you look at the most prominent single person in the Bible Like a apostle Paul he wrote 13 books of the Bible So that lets you know that if it is God's intention for you to be single Then you will have a very high calling and you will have a heavy purpose on your life that you are to fulfill That nobody else really can go on that journey with you because the calling is so great But if you do not have that type of calling then yes You are intended to meet somebody But in order to meet somebody the good book also says that a double-minded man receives nothing from the Lord So what that means is in order to meet somebody you got to feel worthy believe your word They believe that you're gonna meet somebody and be in expectation of meeting that somebody and if you are not in Expectation and believing that you are worthy then you won't attract that person into your life In fact, you will repel that person from your life Diane you sent that blessing bless you prayer and patience God bless you Tony as a grown man What are the core needs as a grown man? What are the core needs of a man so many videos mentioned at least 20? But in your opinion, what are the most important? I'll be honest with you I'll be honest with you as a grown man. I really only need two things from my wife and that is honesty and Loyalty, you know faithfulness Honesty and faithfulness That's that's really all a man need because if you honest and you faithful Then that's gonna encompass the other things.  Michelle Walker, thank you for your transparency.  I'm glad you got that Chris oh two one nine bless you I've gained weight and hubby is not supportive of efforts to slim down I feel like he's changed and I just don't know how to feel when I start slimming down And then he changes towards me am I wrong? No, you're not wrong You're not wrong, but you need to look you need to look a little deeper You need to see what he got going on over there now Teresa God bless you cuz your husband acting like that now some is something going on look a little deeper Felicia God bless a child's father is engaged Getting married in August very flirty during drop-offs and pickups with me inappropriately for a Happily engaged man.  Should I let his fiance? No No, don't let her know you just need to do what you need to do cuz see that's your child's father So you got a soul tie With him he has a soul tie with you. He doesn't respect you.   We are friends I'm 29. He's 31 met at work. He has me around his friends family and daughter We aren't dating but I like him what to do Um, you can't do nothing. Really don't do nothing.  Don't don't tell him you like him Don't do nothing just got to choose.   I so hope you're talking about Praise and worship dance for him. I hope you're talking about praising worship Uh Mind is your mind and not another kind of dance 50 years old. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're talking about praising worship divorce five years Been listening to your video.  So understand that you got to watch on Tyra bank show Um on youtube and learn how to smile But just be out and about it's the men everywhere. It's just that you got to be mindful of it in present Position and prepare AT Boston God bless you now God bless you Max milk bless your sexual relationship with 51 year old Resulted in a baby I'm in my 20s I haven't told him that I kept the baby even though I've been seeing him Since the baby has been born How do I tell him? um Matt uh Nah Okay All right So i'm guessing you didn't see him the whole time You were pregnant So y'all was on a long break now Matt you're gonna need a coaching session now You're gonna need a coaching session on that one you're gonna need a coaching session on that because see It's a lot that go into this now 51 Okay, you saw him why you were pregnant. So now was you showing?  So he knew you were pregnant So what do you think he think the baby at? What do you think he think the baby at? He know you he know you're pregnant. He know you had the baby What do you think you went to? You know at that point So Now the question is is he crazy? If he crazy then you can't tell him in person You need to tell him on the phone And if he crazy and he go off on the phone, then you need not see him in person But at 51 he should be pretty cool pretty chill pretty understandable He's not too old for child support. So if he don't want to do right child support But that need to be your next conversation Mac, I don't really don't understand that one doesn't I? I really don't understand that I Not what I don't understand What I'm gonna have to talk to the Lord but when I get the opportunity to You know sit down and talk to the Lord Is why y'all women so afraid of men? That's one thing.  Yeah, you your baby on the way. Yeah, did you get a mom for you? Swain set. Yeah, they got this on scroller. Yeah, they got the car seat.  You got to tell him tonight Well, y'all just want to let you know And now if you slept with more than just him now y'all need to do that DNA test, but This what y'all got to understand stop being afraid of these men Don't be afraid of these men. You know, tell these men what it is. How you feel, you know, what you're going through Alondra. God bless you. I'm a new subscriber. I have seen a lot of your videos and read one of your books Thank you for what you do. May God bless you and your family. Hey Bless you.  Yeah, I've never heard nobody having a whole baby nine and still talking to the man and and you know All that right there Oh me and crazy Tony, well, see that's the thing.  You did the right thing Prayer and patience. What is your advice for a young married couple that will have to do long distance for eight months Due to one being in the last year of a degree program. Hopefully will be reunited soon Um read make it work why are y'all apart And you're gonna have to be very creative. So instead of text message you FaceTiming instead of phone calls you FaceTiming and If if the money is there you send in for nothing gifts. It could be 20 30 dollars Look, thank some from 1 a hundred flowers dot com You doing handwritten letters So although you talking and you expressing your feelings you also do a handwritten letter Y'all agree to write each other handwritten letter once a week So when you long distance, you just got to get creative Don't get nasty now You ain't got to get nasty because you don't know who's sitting at apple or t-mobile Over rising watching your skype watching your FaceTime Why are you on there doing a nasty movie? You ain't got to get nasty But you got to get creative so It's a benefit to being apart when you already been together because now you get to build in a different way And that's a special thing Evet God bless you where I'm from as long as a man has an income whether it's legal or not It's acceptable. The question wasn't from an ignorant place wanting to know why you feel opposite. I don't Disagree with you um Well evet it's kind of In where I'm from that's common sense because If a man selling drugs, that's illegal So why would you be with somebody that's doing something illegal? that He could get shot up any night that he could get it dough kicked in and He pulled a gun Now the police shooting up you the baby in the bassinet him He going to prison It's only two options when a man draw up the prison or the grave So if you know better then why not do better if you know better why do worse? so if It's not ignorance Then that means you already knowledgeable So if you already knowledgeable then you suffer worse when you know better and you do wrong So it just makes no sense to be with a man who is living an illegal lifestyle And what you have to realize is where you from you might be from a place that is still slaves Slave mentality and we got to understand. Well black people in america what we come from we come from brokenness We come from slavery We come from scarcity So if your mind elevates beyond your neighborhood don't Subjugate yourself to the level of thinking of your neighborhood when you have Grown beyond that point. So if you know better do better And understand that, you know, so my thing is I really don't like wasting too much breath on common sense So if you know the answer then you already know I know the answer And that's going to mean the same thing to both of us. So understand that You know, I want to answer a question that's pushing the story forward What's understood don't need to be explained. So now I don't waste time Explaining something that's already understood and you say you already understand that so You feel to me ask a question that's going to move somebody's life for Instead of us having to state the obvious You know, you ain't supposed to be with no drug dealer.  You see what I'm saying? Alyssa God bless you now Husband and I are in the midst of a divorce, but he's already moved in with another woman. Our kids see him every week Should I be getting to know this woman for them or should I wait until the divorce is final? Um, well, you could try to get to know the woman Um, that don't mean you're really going to get to know her But you could try to feel her out meet her be around her You definitely should be trying to do that then to be distant Because you need to be your children's protector and you need to feel her spirit And depending on him if he's immature then she could be immature if he's no good. She could be no good So you got to look at him as well because she's going to be a reflection of the state of life that he's in So pay attention to that But yes, you you definitely should be trying to get to know her if they're going to be around her A.T. Boston. God bless you now. How do you support a man that says he's dealing with depression? He don't want to be friends until he's in a better mental financial space. He states He knows I'm his wife, but wants to be a man I deserve Uh, you really don't support that kind of man. You really don't support them You know, you could gift them a session of therapy And and go on about your business because what you got to realize is what you've seen from a lot of questions that you see Most men don't care about your life and about your time So a man will tell you wait on me and he'll let you wait all your life And never marry you he'll let you wait 10 years and then walk down the aisle with another woman So if a man is not You know growing and changing Then I would move on with your life Annie k. God bless you. How long is too long to wait to meet in long distance? Not dating because i'm waiting to meet him first Been talking pretty consistently since march 22 years old Well, if you if you talking consistently then that means you dating So, you know Understand that because you giving away time that you're not going to be able to get back And if you waiting to meet him to date him then Y'all need to be setting them that meeting quick But if y'all know already FaceTime then it really ain't nothing else You're going to see and meeting him then FaceTime unless you want to see his height or something like that in person But other than that You know, Coco God bless you other than that You already I wouldn't be waiting longer than three months If you long distance and if you can't meet in person then at least do a FaceTime Um kim kim do you only answer questions that are super chats? Well, I got to answer those first because as you see those people Paying money So if those keep coming in then I have to answer those and then when those run out then I get back to the chat Like how I just saw your question so Obviously if somebody paying above and beyond You know the $1.99 to be a member of the bless tribe. I got to address they question because They go on the extra mile where there is no traffic. So that's where I got to be at That's like the VIP line at the club And then the other one free before 11 You got I got to let them in, you know And even with some of those I missed some of those What to tell a guy when he asks why your last relationship ended? um I don't I don't want to talk about it. It's in the past. I leave it in the past It just you know It's really none of his business and sometimes men ask you that so they could use it against you so you got to be you know Wise about that Rachel D. High Tony boyfriend is not motivated and his eating habits are horrible Every time I bring it up. He gets offended.  That means that you also have a lack of self love So if the person you're with is not on your level mentally Emotionally spiritually or trying to get there then you got to be trying to get gone And that's the point of dating. That's the point of you know being him being a boyfriend is the fact that That's the the period where you see if y'all are equally yoke or evenly You know aligned in life and if not, that's when you say, okay, listen, we want different things out of life You know, I'm gonna have to move on with my life And so if your example doesn't influence him and then also you got to realize too He's not motivated and his eating habits are bad. It's like What is it doing? Is it showing up in his body? Is it breaking them down? Like some people metabolism just different some people body just different And y'all try to keep only questions in the chat right now So I could get to the questions easier. You'll notice that the The moderators deleting the extra conversation and comments Just um, make sure you put hashtag q in front of your question so I could see it 32 divorce mom of one Family's scared I'll get hurt again emotional abuse. How slow should I move to make them comfortable long distance one year never met moving for a job um long distance well, and it's time to make a decision on this long distance because If it's been one year and y'all never met that might not be a real situation And so I really hope you're not turning down me and that's right in your face For a man that's long distance for a year and y'all not engage And you know y'all ain't moving you ain't moving to him. He ain't moving to you then you also Uh divorce mama one it also depends how old that one is Now if that one is under the age of five, then you need to be super chill Over the age of five you got a little bit more room Um Kiki god bless you broke up with a boyfriend of three months because he kept leaving me on red Then text back the next day like nothing happened. Did I do the right thing? Absolutely. You did the right thing If you're trying to deal with somebody and they're not trying to deal with you Then you got to move on with your life You can't be with somebody that ain't trying to be with you So it sound like he's juggling too many women or he's already in a relationship And you text him at night when he's with his woman and he texts you back the next day when he at work That's what it could have been now This girl my boyfriend was dealing with call his phone the other day while I was around He claims that she just randomly calls, but he never answers And he doesn't know why she's calling him thoughts Uh-huh. Yeah, uh-huh.  She might think they something Because women just don't be calling a man phone unless she got a red carpet to call his phone Because a woman shouldn't even be pursuing a man and everyone would know you shouldn't be pursuing a man everyone would know You shouldn't be initiating contact. Everyone would know that so when a woman doing that She either don't know the rules desperate thirsty or She returning his call she calling him because he'd be calling her So understand that now Think long-term single hood is a good option It's up to you. That's a personal choice. That's a personal choice. Me for it ain't for me now But if ain't nothing jumping out at you, definitely don't settle You could be building your business writing your book start your for-profit company your non-profit company, you know Just grind and work Y'all no god bless you. Hi, Tony friend here now needs a session. How can I convince her? Um, you might not be able to convince her now You could pay for it being that you her friend She might she might do a session if you pay for because she don't want you to waste her money in the session might bless her And so visit my mentor dot life is several coaches on there That probably could help her out I'm on there as well. But there's several other coaches Recently went out with an old friend had a great time, but inconsistent contact cut him off after two weeks Too soon. Nope. You did it perfect because In two weeks, that's where he should be the strongest.  How long after breakup is best to try to be friends? It's never it's never good to try to be friends with an ex Lovers can't be friends after you no longer lovers because the soul ties You're strengthening that tie.  Don't nobody want to be the third leg The third wheel, you know, don't nobody want to be in that situation So if you and your ex not meant to be and y'all not going to work it out Then y'all can't be friends and what you got to realize is that love is a gamble And when we gamble sometimes we lose and when you lose you got to chalk it up Charge it to the game Lost your shirt lost your house lost your car pink slip Lost a hundred thousand lost a thousand lost whatever you lose you got it's gone And that's how relationships are You you taking the gamble trying to love when you lose keep it going keep it moving Now make sure you put the hashtag q in front of your question and try to Drop it on there when I'm Kind of finishing up talking And if I miss you earlier because I was answering the super chats then Drop posted in there again I own two businesses and told the man that I was only day the man who has an entrepreneurial mindset I was told I was wrong from thinking like that your thoughts Um in channel, I don't know if you missed my video the other day But I did a video on this a couple days ago. I can't remember the name of somebody might remember the name of it but I think I put nine to five verse entrepreneur I think there's something like that the title of it, but um Yes, you are wrong for that and the reason being is because You don't want somebody who has your same mindset If you own two businesses, you're an entrepreneur So if you get with a man that is an entrepreneur, you're going to be competing against each other And because he thinks he's an entrepreneur and you think you're an entrepreneur He's going to be wanting to tell you what to do in your business And you're going to be wanting to tell him what to do in his business and y'all going to be at odds Y'all just going to be bumping heads But if you get a man that's a nine to five He can hold down the hold down the house. He can hold it down when you got to be ripping and running When your income going up and down his he get the same check every two weeks So a lot of people make the mistake of looking for the exact Person you looking for your replica you looking for a copy and you got to look at a relationship like a puzzle piece Like a puzzle So if you're an entrepreneur you shape like this If he working nine to five Then he shaped like this y'all come together. He added your puzzle now y'all could build When y'all think the same you're going to be bumping heads so When you got somebody who got a different mindset They'll be able to see what you can't see And they don't think the same way you think now if he happened to have an entrepreneur mindset Then okay cool If y'all hit it off and y'all get along your morals your values your standards are the same But you should never you should never go in and say i'm looking for a man A man got to have an entrepreneur mindset for one you never tell a man what you're looking for You never tell a man what you're looking for in a man because he could just play a role He could become densely Washington in the script of your life So instead you know what you're looking for and you watch to see what he is And then you compare that to what you're looking for But i'm an entrepreneur, you know I had 11 companies out of downsides out of murd some of them So i now i got between five and seven and i lose count sometimes because all of them do something different and My wife is not an entrepreneur. She don't got the same. She don't got a single company She ain't created a single entrepreneur thing But she could look at what i do and what i create and she could say yay or nay She could say that's a good idea You know, i'm getting ready to work on another course a new course on branding for people who want to build a personal brand With integrity and that's what i've been able to do. So i'm gonna put it into a course And she could say yeah, that's a good course. You need that in addition to your life coach certification So people who took the life coach certification. They may want to build a whole complete brand So they may need another course on that So she able to look at that and say okay, boom there you go Kim kim god bless you. I see your question came in here right on time. I see how you got that question asked Out of out of 1,300 people Kim God bless you How do you let a person know you're interested in dating them again? And it seems like they pop up everywhere.  What exactly does that mean and what is his intentions? That mean he want to play you like a game of uh monopoly Ring around a rosy That mean that he want to trick you into that bed Get you for everything you work in that bedroom and then gone by this life You need to let him know there is no benefits No physical benefits to being my friend That friends are friends When you in a relationship That's when you get a few benefits of exclusivity and love and romanticism But as friends y'all talking about the weather Y'all talking about the black lives matter and when y'all going what protests y'all gonna be part of That's what y'all talking about as friends Nothing more never ever ever be friends with benefits because there is no benefits to being friends with benefits What you doing right there is you giving your body to somebody that don't deserve you see love god bless you now So understand that and so when a man tell you that he trying to trick you He trying to trick you Why does he jokingly say you must be trying to get off the phone to call your other boyfriend? Or when I am texting he says I must be texting my other boyfriend It's some insecurity. It's some insecurity and he also knows what he could be doing And he also could be fearing Uh his karma Some they'll call it karma, you know, I'm really karma's religious beliefs So I kind of believe more so reaping what you sow, but he could be expecting To reap what he has sown So nine out of ten times is a guilty conscience Or it could literally just be a little flattering joke that he think is flattering But when you joking about them things that deal that tie into insecurity or jealousy Those things it could be a red flag that turn into something greater But sometimes a man really want to test you just to see if you breathe a little harder To see if you stutter on that answer to really see if you might be You know up to some Like feel god bless your tone in tonight's video You mentioned a man's needs include honesty and loyalty But in another video you also mentioned the insatiable need for intimacy Which is a stronger need for a man loyalty or lust Well, we talking about a real man who And what the person the question that the person asked is She asked about as a real man See what you're talking about is a male There's the insatiable need for intimacy. See that's a male But see a real man understands that sex is a plus Not a priority Because a man's spouse could have a stroke And not be able to sleep with him. She could have a surgery and not be able to sleep with him So what really matters to a real man is not cooking. It's not cleaning. It's not sleeping together It's that he can trust you so he can build with you Because see you could build an empire together when you have trust when you have honesty Communication loyalty So the question tonight was about a real man, not just your average everyday man So that's the difference right there. So you got to understand that And see that's what I'll be talking about when I'm talking about caveats and nuances Sometimes it's a little tweaking the question and sometimes people they'll see me on the instagram q&a when I used to do those I'm probably get back to it soon. I just ain't even having the energy and I answer a question And somebody be like how you answer a question? How you answer that question so in-depth off of that little old bitty question And you don't have any background information And it's just because of the way it's worded is one key word that let me know where this person asking from And why would they be asking it that way? So it's caveats and nuances in there that you might not realize that you got to be very specific about Shy friend god bless you. Hi, Tony. What do you think about getting married to a man in debt student loan car payment for two cars mortgage Child support and some other bills. He works overtime to pay off those bills. I'm 27 Um, that ain't in and that ain't the end of the world now That ain't in the world now. So if And a lot of people put a bit A lot of emphasis on debt and on credit score those things are Minor in real love In the grand scheme of thing those things don't mean nothing Now it's different if he got debt from Like he going and he charging up, you know, he made 30k a year And he got all this debt charged up on Gucci and louis and Rolexes and You know all that but what you name that's like legitimate debt, you know cars Child support Mortgage, you know student loans If he got a bunch of cars ran up through the sky on material items now That's a red flag But normal life debt that you acquire in living life and he worked overtime to pay it off That's totally different because at the end of the day, you know Is his debt what you got to look at is can you trust him? Now it will become y'all debt But can you trust him enough to feel like y'all gonna be together? And and if he working hard to pay off that debt then That said something about him Bridget god bless you. Hi, tony took the soul to our course and i'm signing up for all The all for me courses. Thanks Thank you for your wisdom and knowledge. You are definitely helping.  She was there every day But and her word matters to me It does matter to me, but it's not the end all be all and so I listen to her But I know it's a certain end to it So when I was dating outside of my race She was cool with it at first as I was experimenting as a young man And then one day she said something to me and she told me how she felt And she said man, she said Tony, you know I don't like that because This white women get everything in the world and now they get our men too And you a handsome man. You a smart man. You a talented man And I don't think it's fair that a white woman get you and my mama said that to me Now this too real for television. Y'all don't want to hear this But that's what she said to me and when she said that to me it meant something to me and my grandma called me And she said I was in college. She said baby, baby. I heard you dealing with them C's She said baby, please don't do that to me. Please baby. Don't do that The way they treated us they treated us so bad. They treated me so bad Baby, please don't do that when my grandma said that my mama said that I say I ain't gonna be able to do it I let the young lady know Hey, I know the world changing but if this hurt the women that love me the most I ain't gonna be able to do it because love did right here don't mean that much because I could find love anywhere I could fall in love with a tree. I could fall in love with anybody. So The mother's opinion does matter It does matter if he has a relationship with her and a mama can get you up out of there Believe that mama can get you up out of there if she really want to And so it matters Uh Light feel God bless you Tony just read an article of a couple that divorced Before their eight month wedding anniversary eight month Why is what is the key to sustaining a long-term connection in light of so many marriages ending? Well, see the thing about that The reason why the marriage ended is because the relationship was already over And so a lot of time people get married because they're going through the motions, but they really don't have a foundation So the relationship is over at the end of that first year You know if this relationship is going to last or if it's going to be over But a lot of people stay out of fear they stay out of fear the unknown fear starting over fear walking away They'll stay but the relationship could be over Uh ruby L. God bless you. Praise God for your life and these messages Tony You preach and may God continue to bring you to new levels. God bless you in the fam and Jesus name. Hey bless you ruby I so appreciate you now. I'll be seeing you ruby your messages and your comments and your encouragement I appreciate that ruby. There's a few of y'all really be pushing me I'll be feeling like giving up on y'all and I'll be having to answer all these questions I'll be like Lord, I'm feeling retired. I keep telling my wife I said, that's why the Lord ain't let me become no tech baby now because he know I'll be the Ran off the yeah Okay, you too. It's been fun. I'm done with my ministry done with, you know, all this here dealing with all these here questioning The Lord doesn't let me be a tech being now I'm feeling kicked back in the shade But you know, so Lord keep me humble and focus on my purpose It's moved House without informing me We have a 21 month old child I haven't asked him and I don't think it's my responsibility to do so. What do you think? I'm guessing you said it's moved out the house Without informing you um You're right. Go on about your business not now you say the x now So this your ex Move the house without informing me. So I ain't 100 clear what you mean by that But being that it's your ex but um I think you're right. Go on about your business Don't get too caught up on your ex and worry about what he's doing and asking him about anything. Just keep it Keep it moving. Yeah, I so appreciate y'all, you know Let me see Now we got about 12 more minutes. Now if I miss your question, it's the time to drop it in there the weaver god bless you Make sure you put a hashtag q in front of it And I could see it. I'm trying to see if I miss now some of y'all did uh, uh Super chat in there And please forgive me if I miss you it kind of get going fast and I don't take nobody lightly true. This spina. I see yours right there. I see that Cocoa I saw yours at bostic I saw that Uh, let me see Secure this one. I miss do you think women need to be held accountable for the mistreatment of these grown boys? A woman should learn and grow to to know discernment to stop the cycle um Yep, women got to be held accountable to Got to learn. That's that's why I be on here You know trying to shoot it straight And a lot of times we just want to blame the man, but we also got to look at ourselves Okay, rameka. I see your question here rameka Why do men say they're not good enough two of my exes have told me this When a man tell you he's not good enough.   He don't care about that If you willing to be with him and he ain't on your level he gonna let you stay right there But when he says that it's really his way of saying it's me not you But that's because he has feelings for you and he don't want to tell you You're not what i'm looking for he don't want to say that because he feel like you may never heal from it So you just got to realize it's really not that you less than him or not good enough for him It means that y'all not a fit that that's not your man and you got to keep it moving Ramika let me see this question here real quick I'm six feet I have me and five ten five nine is shorter wanting to talk to me. Am I being too picky about not wanting to date a man shorter than me Um, I mean I get it. I get it sometimes a man just Wanted to you know, he want to climb He want to climb, you know, he want he want to get off that forbidden tree And so sometimes that's what it is.   So now You got to evaluate why you don't want them shorter men Is it because of their insecurity because a lot of times we'd be insecure i'm five ten I really don't want no six foot one because I don't want her looking at my health in it looking at the top of my head when we going out And i'm shorter than her. So I already know she's feeling like I can't protect her and You know, so i'm gonna be insecure and she might be feeling insecure for me So that's what a lot of men who shorter than a woman. That's what they're going through And so The man who okay with that height difference That's because his money done caught up And built him some confidence The where he feel okay with that because my wife she'll inch taller than me And I had to start to pump myself up and say, oh, yeah, it's like i'm a i'm like one of the men who got a model Who who she'll inch taller than me when she put on heels now she five seven and three fours Five eight i'm five ten. So i'm taller than her but she put on hill.    Now last night we had a man in the neighborhood who was armed End up taking his own life I need to get my love Scrapping hill just in case um That's what my heart dropped by. I think somebody were coming I'm making why jasmine wiley god bless you now god bless you Uh janella bless you now bless you I see y'all coming in here Bless you. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us Your words have helped me move past her relationship Bless you. Now don't call in no charge bite. Now bless you.  I have social anxiety due to child trauma and seven year of ill relationship Working on myself three bees and therapy social interactions can be hard for me. Don't know when to start dating Healing may be a journey Afraid of rejection and judgment. Well gene.  Don't just do counseling. Don't just do therapy try to try life coaching as well Because that's a different approach and you can couple them You can do therapy this week coaching next week or therapy this month coaching next month And you're going to get different things from both experiences And in the midst you got to just make your life a university Uh self-love university Ironically, that's what my site called. But um It's all it's really called gaskins university But get immerse yourself in knowledge getting the courses the books You know, there's several authors out there that have written books on healing and love Go on amazon search them look through them. Look at the reviews get the books you need Because see the way to heal is new knowledge Is new knowledge and so when you get new knowledge that new knowledge replaces something old So it's something in your mind that's telling you a lie about yourself When you get new knowledge, you're able to replace that lie with a new truth that new truth That's why they say knowledge is power knowledge is power because knowledge Produces confidence and that's what makes you powerful So the more you hear and the more you learn and the more you grow The more confident you're going to be the more you're going to heal So let me see Coach chris cut him off in the talking phase Due to inconsistent communication mostly texting. Is it possible for him to correct it and start over? Yes, it's possible, but it's not what you want It's not what you want because First impression lasts a long time. So when a man show you who he is Believe him and so what you got to realize if a man really want you he gonna come out the gate strong Because he don't want to lose you. He don't want another man to slip in and get you So if a man is for you He gonna come out the gate doing what he got to do because he knows another man can slip in there and steal your attention Beautiful day when a man leaves his wife Slash family for another woman with children Is it due to immaturity or a matter of the man willing to go through all of that because he sees her as his wife slash dream woman um It's really more so that he doesn't see his current wife as his woman and he Acknowledges his mistake of being with her and marrying her Even though it was partly his fault from being immature And he realizes that he is not meant to be with the woman. He's with But he refuses to work on it and to grow and to become Compatible See he refuses to become compatible. So instead he says i'ma throw in the towel I'ma move on and i'ma start over Because see Love is not found it's created Me and my wife are opposite in every single way But i chose instead of throwing in the towel and saying oh we too much We too different i say i'm gonna work and i'm gonna love and i'm gonna love her and i'm gonna become compatible So that we can build together Because you you're never gonna be a perfect fit with another human because humans just too finicky. We just too Iffy we too in our way So it always takes sacrifice and selflessness to make a relationship work And some people don't understand that and they just think everything's supposed to just Click on all cylinders and just flow and be smooth and that's not the case As long as both of you had a heart for it to work and there's no abuse and toxicity and you know attacking each other Then you got room to grow room to work Well, we don't came to the end here. Let me see Octavia i don't think i saw Octavia how to get a man to open up and stop saying When i do you throw things in my face Well, you got to stop throwing things in his face So he opening up and he telling you when i do you throw stuff in my face So you got to be able to listen and to receive and to hear him without throwing stuff in his face You got to be able to listen And you got to be able to listen without judgment And the more you talk to a man but not talk at him But listen to him ask questions and leave open air so he could answer and then Take that then that's when he he'll start to grow he'll start to open up But when he open up and you use it against him because you want to be matlock in the court of law Then that's when you lose them Hey, so in closing now We moving on our beautiful day to send a question So we got to go in the overtime now beautiful day to send us in the overtime When a man leaves his wife and family, okay, I already answered that question. So it was showing me that God God bless you. Okay.  You don't have to yell You don't have to curse you don't have to demean him degrade him belittle him But ask the question that you want to ask express what you need to express You know cool calm and collected in a in a time of peace you prepare for war in a time of peace That's when you talk through those tough issues so that now you got a plan So when things get hard when you really test it y'all already been communicated and understanding you on the same You're on the same wavelength Belle beauty god bless you nine Two months in a in the blessed tribe I'm excited for my next relationship. I'll be ready. No rush. Enjoy listening and knowing what you're going to say I'm learning god bless you now So I want y'all to understand that ladies. Thank you bell Start get into the place where you can speak up for yourself and express what you want what you need And where are you at? Hey questions over with now y'all keep popping any question now Any case you need a session because I've seen your name over here three full time now Um Should you ask a man? What are we? No, you shouldn't because you should see what y'all are So if you dealing with a man that want to be with you, you're going to see and know what y'all are he going to make it clear Here go nelson now nelson got one guy on the chat tonight God bless you nelson nelson the only man on here tonight God bless you nelson. I saw you now nelson. I've been seeing you in the uncomments man I put I hit the little heart on the other day Uh, just to let you know. I see you my boy Hey tonic god bless you brother. I gotta thank god for you for confirming What love is to me and helping me identify the grown boy myself god bless you nelson And I hope you don't hear for yourself man and not for your ex-girlfriend because she on here too now So I hope you don't hear for yourself nelson growing Because now I know how we could be as men sometime now. We know she watching we Well, if it's in the chat, I know she on here in the chat real quick. So she's see me But but nelson you be on here. Okay, there go jay dilla say he on the set Two men on here tonight. Okay two men on here now. No, I think our record might be four or five, but um Hey, god bless y'all. I really appreciate you. I'm finna get going I'm gonna try to make it back do a lot of more night if I can Now I try to do lives money through thursday if my spirit feeling right because see I'm coming from my spirit So I just don't do work and just be on here if my spirit ain't feeling right Because as y'all could see some of these questions be about to make me snap Some of these questions could take me back to old tonic the way I really want to read you left to right And you know make you feel foolish, but that I can't come from that place You so I do my best now sometimes y'all get me to the tap dancing on that line now when I'm question get a little too Okay ding don't the witch is gone, but I try to Speak and answer from love to the best of my ability, but well from Man, they give you the true blood row You know it'll make you cry. So I'm trying to work on that and be able to answer y'all in a place that it don't Put you down But you could feel that it's coming from a place of love and a place of humility to really help you learn and grow But god bless you and we'll talk soon


Discover the KA3 structured dialogue projects, meetings between young people and decision-makers. Young people should have a say in the decisions that affect their lives and their communities. Youth participation is about young people engaging in forming opinions and taking action to bring about positive change within society. It can take many forms. The traditional form is representative democracy through voting or membership of a political party. Nowadays, young people engage in very diverse and unexpected ways. Through their daily lives, through participatory structures such as youth organizations or volunteering, through citizen-led initiatives and movements, young people actively participate in the development of our democratic societies. A first step to being able to participate is seeking information and learning about democracy in order to possess the basic knowledge. A lot of learning takes place in everyday life by being engaged in debates on political issues, both online and offline, with their peers at school or with their parents. This reflection on political topics in the society around them can only be actively stimulated in youth organizations, participatory structures or at school. One particular form of learning about democracy is participating in simulations of political processes. The Treaty of the European Union explicitly states that the EU should encourage the participation of young people in democratic life in Europe and that is exactly what this action of the Erasmus Plus programme is for. It allows people to organize meetings, conferences, consultations and events that encourage youth participation and interaction with decision makers at local, regional, national and European level. In particular, within the framework of the EU Structured Dialogue which we'll have a closer look at in the next module. As a concrete result of these activities, young people are able to make their voices heard on how youth policies or policies affecting and concerning young people should be shaped and implemented in Europe. This part of the programme serves the specific goal of fostering the debate around topics centred on the themes and priorities set by the Structured Dialogue and European Cooperation in the field of youth. This cooperation aims to create equal opportunities for young people in education and on the labour market and to promote active citizenship, social inclusion and solidarity among young people. The cooperation is built around eight fields of action, education and training, employment and entrepreneurship, health and wellbeing, participation, volunteering, social inclusion, youth in the world, creativity and culture. Structured Dialogue projects can take the form of meetings, conferences, consultations and events, national meetings and transnational or international seminars that offer space for information, debate and the active participation of young people in dialogue with youth decision makers on issues that are relevant to Structured Dialogue or to the EU Youth Strategy. National meetings and transnational seminars that prepare the ground for the official youth conferences organised each semester by the Member State holding the presidency of the European Union. Events that promote debate and information on youth policy themes linked to the activities organised during European Youth Week. Opinion polls or online consultations of young people with a view to finding out their needs on matters relating to participation in democratic life. Meetings and seminars, information events or debates between young people and decision makers. Youth experts around the theme of participation in democratic life. Events stimulating the functioning of the democratic institutions and the roles of decision makers within these institutions.


We will turn for this last session on being tested in true first Peter 4, 7 through 8. First Peter 4, 7 and 8. We're just going to cover two verses in this session on how to occupy until he comes. Some of you may not know, but I grew up in a Baptist minister's home and especially a minister who loved prophecy. My dad loved Bible prophecy. I remember specifically coming out of church one Sunday evening. I was probably 13 to 14 years of age and I was coming out of church one evening and the sky was really weird looking and I was standing next to this lady. Her name was Genevieve Mayer. She was an older lady and she looked up in the sky so serenely and she said, wouldn't it be great if it was tonight and I'm like, what are you talking about? And I remember sudden fear gripped my heart when she said that and I thought no way. I haven't graduated from high school, I haven't, I'm not married, I haven't had my kids yet and all these excuses went through my mind when she said that. And the years went by and I went off to Bible school where I met my husband and I also have a vivid memory of sitting with him in the school cafeteria when he brought up the subject of the Lord's coming. And I began to cry and I said, please don't talk about the Lord's coming. And he said, why not? What's wrong with you? That's the believer's blessed hope.  And the truth of the matter was I did not know the one who was coming. That was the truth of the matter. I was terrified to think about the Lord returning. In fact, I was self-deceived into thinking I was one of his children. So I got married, had those children that I wanted to have and life went on with fears about the Lord's return. And most of you know my testimony, so I won't share that now, but to say that at 30 years of age, God arrested my heart and I truly committed my life to his Lordship. And it was such an encouragement to me when I got saved that when I was studying and memorizing 1 John and I came to verse 18 where John says this, there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear because fear has punishment. And John is talking about that day when we're going to stand before the Lord and you know what, there is going to be no fear in judgment because fear has punishment. And ladies, I was always like, whoa, that's why I was always scared to death of the Lord's return. That's why I got weak in my knees. That's why I felt like I was going to throw up when someone talked about it because I did not know the one who was coming to take me home. So now you can talk to me about the rapture all you want, I won't be afraid. The Lord's coming. Ladies, it's a theme that runs much throughout the New Testament and now here in 1 Peter, let's hear what Peter has to say about this event in 1 Peter 4, 7 to 8, but the end of all things is at hand, therefore be sober minded, be watchful in your prayers and above all things, have fervent love among yourselves, for love shall cover a multitude of sins. Now, Peter is going to write briefly on what we should do while we wait for the Lord to return. I know many of you are probably wishing it would be soon, but there may actually be still a lot of time left and there are some things that we should be doing while we wait for the Lord to return and we're going to see how we should occupy until he returns and we're going to see four different ways and it's not to eat, drink, do drugs and party on. That's not what he's going to say. Remember, that's what we did before Christ. That's not what we do while we wait for Christ. So Peter has just talked about, if you'll look in 1 Peter 4, in verse 5 he talks about we're going to give an account to him that is ready to judge the living and the dead and so he's talking about judgment to come in verses, the previous verses. And so when I think about judgment or the judgment to come, naturally what comes to my mind is the end, right? The end is coming. And so Peter says the end of all things is at hand. The end is at hand. Now what does it mean end? Well the word end means a consummation or a goal achieved, but then what the question comes to mind, what is the goal that Peter's talking about? Well, Peter has already been talking about the living hope the last time, the appearing of Jesus Christ, the judgment of the living and the dead. I mean he has been talking about the Lord's coming. And so the end would be what? Christ return, Christ return. In fact the word translated of all things is in the emphatic position, so it would read like this, of all things the end is at hand. Of all things the end is at hand. It's near, it's approaching, it's coming. In fact it's similar to what he's already said in verse 5. He's ready, he's ready to judge the living and the dead. Very similar to what Paul says in Romans 13, and knowing this that now it is time, time to wake out of your sleep. Why? Our salvation is nearer than we ever believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Let us therefore cast off the works of darkness. Get rid of them. Put on the armor of light. Or as Paul says in Romans 4-5, let your gentleness be known to all men. Why the Lord's at hand? He's coming. He's coming and you better not be in some squabble when he comes. Better be gentle. James says the same thing, James 5, be patient, establish your hearts for the coming of the Lord is drawing near. Mermor not one against another, brother. And why? The judge is standing at the door. In fact literally there when James is talking, he's standing at the door. He's ready to push the doors open. Come get his children. So don't be involved in murmuring against each other. You know the Christians in the early church expected the Lord to return in their lifetime. Acts 111 says this same Jesus who has taken up from you into heaven shall so come in like manners you have seen him go into heaven and they expected the Lord to return. In fact during the Reformation do you know believers thought the end was near? And today because of all the things going on, international things, things in our nation, the moral decline, I've heard, I've heard, I don't know how many Christians say, surely he can't be much longer. My dad said that too. He hoped to, you know, he hoped to live through the Lord's coming but he didn't. The Lord took him, he is there with him but he didn't make it there. Ladies, the fact that he's not returned doesn't mean he's not going to. He is going to come. In fact Peter says in the last days there'll be scoffers saying, ha ha, mocking. Where's the promise of his coming? All things are the same. All things are the same. Peter says uh-uh. They willfully forget this. They perversely forget this. He says beloved don't forget this one thing. One day is with the thousand, Lord the thousand years is one day. The Lord is not slack concerning his promise as some men count slackness but his long suffering not willing that any should perish but all should come to repentance. The day of the Lord will come Peter says. It will come as a thief in the night, the heavens will pass away, the earth and everything in it will melt and be burned up. I don't know how that's going to happen. I don't really care but it's going to happen. In fact Peter says what manner of men ought you to be in holy living and godliness looking for and hasting that coming of the day of the Lord, 2 Peter. So evidently there's going to be some that think he's not going to come but Peter reminds his readers, yes he is going to come. Ladies, time is nothing to God. Remember? Time is nothing to him. He is eternal. The hours pass by neither fast nor slowly to him. He's not slack. He's not tardy concerning his promise. He will come when he wants to come when it's the designated time. In fact we know from Scripture there are certain things that must happen before he does come but notice in 1 Peter, the two verses we're looking at, Peter does not set a date for the Lord's return as we see some people today. I remember in the 1980s my kids were still living at home, junior high high school and some guy wrote a book, 88 Reasons Why Christ Will Come in 88, I don't know probably some of you are not old enough to remember that book but my husband who kind of likes to be a jokester, we had some neighbors next door that we'd been witnessing to and they'd read this book and they were terrified and they were trying to straighten up their lives and get religious and so on the day that this guy predicted that Christ was going to come back it happened to be a Sunday morning. And so their house was about this far from ours and so my husband and my son went to the side of the house and they had one of those horns you blow when you're at a ball game. So they went out to the side and blew that thing and my next door neighbor wanted us. She said she was on the toilet and nearly fell off. I mean she was terrified. She was terrified that the Lord had come and she was still on the toilet. And we joked about that as neighbors for years. That's my husband. That gives you, you know I'm the sober one in the family. He's the jokester. In fact sometimes Doug last time I said I'm not telling you that because you're going to announce it from the pulpit on Sunday like well what are you weighing these days honey? Or I'm like I'm not telling you that. That'll be in your sermon somehow so that he's a great guy so God uses him to humble me and he probably uses me to humble him so it's good right. But Peter doesn't say today neither should we ladies. No one knows the day or the hour right. That's what God says nobody knows the day or the hour but we must be ready right. We must be ready but we do know this. With each passing day the coming of the Lord is near right than the day before. So what should be the attitude of these readers and us in light of the Lord's return? Should we get drunk? Should we eat? Should we party on? No because the end is near notice what Peter says first of all we must be serious sober minded. This is the first thing you must be doing while you're waiting for the Lord's return be sober. Ladies if you thought the Lord was going to come back today do you think you'd sober up? You think you'd sober up? Do you think you'd get serious? I think we would and yet it could be today right. In fact the word serious or sober is a word we've already had it means to be of sound mind to be clear headed. In fact the temptation for many of these readers would be to have all kinds of fears and worries which would lead them to make hasty and wrong decisions. Peter says have sobriety of mind. Be alert don't dull your mind with drink and drugs. My friend we're living in an age that is drug addicted. Whether it's prescription whether it's illegal we're far from being sober minded. Peter's not the only one that addresses our need to be sober in light of the Lord's return. Paul says in Thessalonians 5.8 says this the day of the Lord is going to come as a thief in the night they're going to say peace, peace, safety. Paul says sudden destruction is going to come upon them as a woman that is in labor it's going to come and he says watch be sober be sober. Also Paul says in Titus too we should deny ungodliness and worldly lust we should live soberly there's that word again live soberly righteously looking for that blessed and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ. Ladies we better be sober we better be sober. Peter Paul are saying the same thing Jesus says the same thing. Ladies we must have our wits about us. You know it amazes me when I see more and more Christian people turning to drugs and alcohol to alleviate their fears and worries. People can't deal with it today can't deal with what's going on they can't deal with family problems they can't deal with health issues and so they turn to numbing drugs. In fact it's very interesting in Revelation 21.8 it talks about the end times that all nations are going to be drunk with the wine of their sorceries. Sorcery is Greek word pharmacy we get our English word pharmacy indicating in the end times that nations are going to be spaced out with drugs. Numbing drugs. Do you know one out of every two Americans are on some type of psychotrophic drug? That's scary. That is really scary. People can't face the reality of life and death so they turn to numbing drugs. But for the Christian lady we have a different place to turn right and that's the second thing we should be about in light of the Lord's return. Notice Peter says we must be watchful in our prayers instead of turning to something to numb us and make us in a stupor we turn to prayer. We turn to prayer. And what does that mean to watch and to prayer? Well the word watch means to be sober, abstain from wine, be calm, be collected in your spirit. Ladies if you're going to pray you need to be watching right, be sober. If you're drugged, if you're drunk, you're not likely apt to pray right? So the need is for sobriety that we can pray. According to a recent article in the New York Times more and more Americans are taking antidepressants and not only are doctors prescribing them but people are demanding that the doctors give them to them. I've heard of people, my mom she was on an antidepressant right before she had a massive heart attack she was in great health 81 years of age and I went to go see her in California and I noticed something different and then she told me she said the doctors put me on antidepressant for my blood pressure and I said mom do you know what those drugs will do to you long term I said they're dangerous and anyway she died two weeks later she was in Russia on a tour she died of a massive heart attack after she died I told my sister that was in charge of everything I said I want to I want to list I want the name of that drug my mom that mom was on I looked it up one of the side effects heart issues my mom had been great health great health doctors are prescribing them for everything in fact I've had people tell me their doctors prescribed them for high blood pressure hormonal everything except what has to do with depression I thought they were antidepressants you know you read the little label and it says this drug will want you will make you want to kill yourself I'm like well yeah I think I'll just take a bottle that that sounds really good people's lives are increasingly difficult because of moral decay so there they turn to drugs but ladies that shouldn't be for the child of God we either believe that the Bible is sufficient or it's not can't have it both ways drugs and alcohol dole our mind and keep us from facing reality one man said temperance promotes wakefulness both promote prayer drink makes drowsy drowsiness prevents prayer ladies the readers that Peter's writing she must be discreet and sober so they can pray one man said the Christian who's always on a tear whose mind is crowded with fear and worry who is never at rest in his heart does not do much praying ladies we must have our wits about us so we can pray I know I've counseled many a woman on some type of psychotrophic drug and you know I'm not a doctor so I I encourage her to go to her doctor to get help but it's very difficult at times to counsel and help her because her mind is so clouded and she's such in a zombie state I've counseled women that are just they're zombie like and I say I you know I want to help you but I really can't help you to you try to get off of some of these drugs because your mind is so dull than anything I try to tell you today biblically to help you in this problem you're having you're not going to be able to take home and do it because you're just in a stupor you won't even remember what I said you know Paul has a similar idea as Peter when he says watching to prayer he says be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God Paul says we're to pray in four different ways prayer is worship supplication is beseeching being thankful for the situation that's come up and then you know begging God pouring out your petitions to him in fact Peter knew that you know Peter's writing this to the persecuted Christians and he knew he messed up didn't he remember when Jesus took Peter James and John with him that before he you know the Garden of Gethsemane he was praying he said my soul's exceedingly sorrowful even to death stay here and watch with me and he prayed over and over pray and he came back and found him sleeping and he said what is going on could you not watch with me one hour one hour watch and pray least you enter into temptation you better be prayed you realize what's going to happen I'm going to the cross persecution is going to hit you guys you better be praying you better watching to pray Jesus says the spirit indeed is willing the flesh is weak fission 618 Paul says I'm talking about our armor praying always with all prayer and supplication praying always and then in Colossians 4 to continue earnestly in prayer be village vigilant in it with thanksgiving in fact it's interesting the word here for prayer in first Peter is in the plural in the plural prayers actually prayers be therefore sober minded watch unto prayers now Peter doesn't say what they should be praying for but you know certain things come to my mind if I thought the end was coming first of all thanksgiving would be in order for sure the fact that I'm chosen going to heaven I'd be thanking God for that that I'm going to escape the awful torment of hell we should be expressing gratitude that we have a place in heaven prepared for us we should be much in prayer about our lives and living holy in preparation for the Lord's return we should be asking him Lord what do you want me to do until you return we should be confessing our sins to him to others that we've offended we should be praying for all those in our family our friends that don't know Christ that they will come to him we should be praying for those who are going to be left behind in the list goes on and on and on for all the things we should be praying about ladies if we really thought the end was near that Christ might return today don't you think we'd be praying I think we'd be on the phone too right compelling our family members to repent my dear sister was we must be praying at all times for all things well the third thing we must be about as we wait for the Lord's return is found in verse 8 and above all things have fervent love for one another for love covers a multitude of sins Peter says above all things which means prior or in front of all things were to have love for each other now this doesn't mean love is preeminent over prayer but it means love is the heading for all we do it's just like Colossians chapter 3 remember Paul Paul has all that list put off anger wrath malice blasphemy me filthy communication out of your mouth etc and then he says put on this and put on this and then he says above all things put on love above everything else clothe everything you do with love it is the bond it is the glue of perfection it glues everything together it's just like Paul says though I give my body to be burned though I do all these things and I don't do it with love I'm nothing or it's the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5 where Paul says the fruit of the spirit is what love that's the heading and out of love flows what joy peace long suffering gentleness goodness meekness faith self-control against such there is no law and that's what Peter's saying here it's not that love is in the most important thing but it's the love it covers everything it's the heading of all we do love is preeminent and notice Peter does just doesn't say love he says fervent love have fervent love what does that mean well fervent means to be stretched out it's it has the picture have you ever seen the Olympics when they're running in the race or have you ever seen anybody run in a race and they kind of stretch out their neck so they can you know get to the finish line that's the idea that's what that's what Peter is saying love each other fervently stretch out to reach the one that is loved give of yourself for the sake of somebody else make it hurt make it cost you something be willing to be spent and spent again as Paul says in 2nd Corinthians notice this love is among themselves did you notice that have fervent love among yourselves Peter doesn't say love yourself more we do that anyway don't we love others and then Peter gives a reason why we're to have fervent love among ourselves he says because love will cover a multitude of sins now what does that mean well there's our there are some erroneous ideas out there about this so let's look at it the word cover means to conceal or hide and the word multitude means a large number a bundle and Peter knew about this right remember he asked the Lord Lord have a shot forgive my brother seven times Jesus said no Peter how about seventy times seven instead of seven how about 490 times that's a that's a bundle isn't it that is a bundle I'm not sure I've ever forgiven someone 490 times for the same offense but I know the Lord's forgiven me 490 times for the same offense in fact Peter's not the only writer to mention this idea Proverbs 10 12 hatred stirs up strife love covers all sins Proverbs 17 9 he who covers a transgression seeks love but he who repeats a matter separates friends James says in James 520 let him know that he who turns a sinner from the air of his way shall save a multitude from death and shall hide a multitude of sins now most of you have heard the word the phrase love is blind that certainly is true isn't it I remember when I met my husband I never saw one fault in him whatsoever in fact my husband I've counseled many couples in the premarital counseling I'm like I want to tell the girl flee I mean do you not see this and this and this about this guy and she like oh isn't he just great I'm like oh boy you just way and I and I've lovingly tried to warn some women and after they get married and they come crying to me I said I tried to tell you you didn't listen to me because you're blind love is blind one man describes it like this they're in your local church is and she doesn't know much about hygiene and is frankly quite smelly Billy wears you out with incessant talking Kathy is unspiritual Don doesn't get along with Evelyn Fred treats his wife badly Jean is a teenager who never knows how to act with courtesy and discretion Hillary grumbles Irene has a different set of interest and values she can't even come to the Tuesday evening prayer meeting because it clashes with the local amnesty international group then there's Kevin to be sure who's really quite saintly but rather drab as a person and so it goes on none of them is very easy to love at full stretch and yet ladies were commanded to do that we're to love each other by the way the writer adds that he's all probably also on somebody's difficult list to love my husband and I have many times been sitting in our homes in the privacy just the two of us and we'll talk about one of his family members around like they're just a little different but then we kind of laugh ago you know what they're probably in their living room right now saying you know Doug and Susan they're weird they're just really weird we're all weird right we're all dysfunctional what Peter saying here we should be forgiving and patient we should accept each other's faults in fact Peter knew about this right when the Lord questioned three times Peter do you love me Peter do you love me Peter do you love me you know what he could have said come on Peter give me a break you don't love me are you kidding me you denied me three times do you expect me to believe that you love me you don't love me but Jesus's love for Peter covered Peter's sins overlooked his weakness and I'm sure Peter remembered that as he's writing these words love covers a multitude of sins ladies when we really love each other we won't publish each other sins we cover them up one man said where love is lacking every word is viewed with suspicion every action is liable to misunderstanding and conflict abounds to Satan's perverse delight you know a lot of gossip is stopped when we really love each other it's stopped the person that doesn't love the way Christ loves is often critical very judgmental now let me say this before we go on love does not conceal or cover when the sinner goes on sinning that's not love that's reading into the text okay that's Jesus's point Matthew 18 if your brother fans you go tell him his fault between him and you alone if he if he repents great if he doesn't take two or three more if he still don't repent you tell it to the church it was still a repent treat him as a heathen and a tax collector but that's not what Peter's saying here ladies when sin occurs love deals with it according to the principles that Jesus set up for us to do but when repentance occurs were to do what Jesus told Peter we forgive 70 times seven and we don't bring up others sins to them when your husband does something wrong you don't bring up all the things he's ever done and remind him of all his faults we don't keep records of things done wrong so we think about the Lord's return we certainly should be focusing on loving the brethren in fact the writer to the Hebrew says let us consider one another to love and good deeds not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together but but so much more as we see the day approaching ladies as the end of the age winds down we must be loving each other with that outstretch love that fervent love now the fourth thing we are to be about and it's not in those two verses but it's in the following verses but I already taught on this one time in this church so I'm not going to cover all of that is verses 7 through 11 which basically is what if you have a gift for hospitality use it if you can teach you better be teaching if you can minister you better be ministering in other words the fourth thing that you should be doing while you wait for the Lord's return is to be using your spiritual gifts and I'm sure that Nikki or the powers that be would be happy to get you that CD from that was years ago that I taught on verses 9 through 11 the ladies every one of you in this room if you are born again you all have at least one spiritual gift the Bible says the Holy Spirit gives to everyone a gift several in fact some of you have several gifts and so you need to be using while you're waiting for the Lord to return you shouldn't be sitting at home twiddling your thumbs watching the latest news and freaking out you need to be using your spiritual gifts so Peter says while we wait for his return love each other stay clearheaded be alert in prayer and use your spiritual gifts the end is at hand and when it comes what will you have done for the glory of God so what should you be doing while we're waiting for the Lord to return what are you doing while you're waiting for the Lord to return are you sitting up late to watch the latest tragedy in our nation and becoming hysterical or are you working on being level-headed and being sober-minded are you worrying about what will happen to those who you love who will be left behind or are you spending that time praying for them are you stirring up trouble and holding grudges or are you loving others to the maximum are you spending more time isolated from others and on social media or are you using your spiritual gifts for the glory of God now I don't know what you believe concerning the end times you may be a post-millennialist all-millennialist pre-millennialist you may believe in post-trib mid-trib odd-trib whatever trip I don't know or you may be none of the above you may be a pan-millennialist and you say what's that well that that just means you believe it's all gonna pan out in the end I don't know anymore I think that's what I am a pan-millennialist it's all gonna pan out and I am not here to prove some system of eschatology I mean we could get into arguments about that and that wouldn't be good but I'm trying to encourage you to occupy till he comes as one man said here's what you don't do you don't whip up a white robe and buy a helium filled balloon and with angels paint it all over it and if you're a Californian don't quit work and move to Oregon for fear you'll miss him because of the smog and for goodness sake don't try to set the date because of the signs of the times end of quote but ladies do occupy till he comes the fact that the Lord is coming should motivate us to live holy to live soberly to live righteously to be watching with an attitude of prayer and loving one another fervently and using our spiritual gifts ladies we should love each other every day and live each day as if it were last because my friend it just might be in fact I like the Puritan prayer that says Lord if this is my last day let it be my best day let it be my best day now maybe for some of you you are like I was as I mentioned in the beginning of this session and that is that you're terrified of the Lord's return maybe you don't want to talk about it with others like I didn't and you have a hard time sharing in their excitement and so perhaps the issue with you is that you are like I was you're not ready to meet the Lord if your life is not consistent with your faith then the coming of the Lord will be a dreaded event for you if you're not ready to go then get ready don't wait today if you will hear his voice do not harden your heart don't put off committing your life to his lordship as you may find yourself looking back and not up and then my friend it will be too late father in heaven I do pray for these ladies Lord I don't know all of them and I certainly don't know their hearts I don't even know one of their hearts I don't even know my own heart and so God I pray that if they do not know the one and only true God and his son Jesus Christ who died for their sins who was raised from the dead and is now seated at the right hand of God I pray oh God that they would come to know him that you would draw them to yourself that you would save them and that they would begin their walk with you this day father give us grace in these days I don't know if I'll see these girls again next year the year after who knows Lord what you have for us the father if you Terry I pray that we will be strong in this world that is becoming evil and more evil every day help us to remember the things that Peter writes to these persecuted Christians and help us to occupy until you come and be found faithful oh Lord we do want to hear those words well done good and faithful servant enter into the joy of the Lord bless this church father help it to be a lighthouse in this community and may it keep shining and growing and glowing for the gospel in Jesus name