who understand men now. I'm Jonathan Asley of johnathasley.com and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, the most powerful way to get a man closer to you, even if he's scared. Okay, really quickly, before we get started, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if any time during this video, this content resonates with you, please hit that like button so I can be seen in the YouTube algorithms.  It's direct, a little tough love and a lot of heart. And occasionally I use expletives to enhance the sentence. So if f-bombs aren't at your cup of tea, then I highly suggest logging off right now. Lastly, this is merely my perceptions and my opinions by no stretch of the means do I mean what I'm about to share is the truth. You have to decide the truth for yourself. My hope is just to simply expand your horizons and maybe think of dating, mating, and relating in a different way. All right, let's jump into the topic of the most powerful way to get a man closer to you. So I'm sure you've heard this before. Men are emotionally unavailable. Men fear intimacy. Men are commitment phobic. Men are this, men are that, and the list goes on and on about how men aren't really capable of being in a relationship. In fact, if you look at the most popular search terms for women seeking advice about relationships in men, it's all centered around how to get a guy to open up, why men pull away, why men are commitment phobic, how to get an emotionally unavailable guy to open up, how to get an avoiding guy to open up, how to avoid a narcissist. I mean, the list goes on and on. And it's quite interesting to me sitting back when I watch this because the natural order of things is centered around men are the leaders of the relationship. I'm gonna repeat that the natural order of things is centered around men are the leaders of the relationship. But isn't it fascinating that if the most popular search term centered around pretty much why men are bad in relationships, why would you wanna give the job to the least qualified candidate? This is one of the reasons why if you follow my work, I always say, ladies, you are in charge of your relationship, destiny, not the man. And yet, sadly, women give their power away to men and we'll talk about that in a few minutes. So I'm here to say most men aren't bad guys. Most men aren't bad guys, most women aren't bad people. It's just most human beings are bad daters and in particular, men are rather clueless to the functionality of a relationship because men, for the most part, when they're not on the hunt for a wife, men are rather clueless and this is especially true for those of us in midlife. And if you follow my work, I'm a midlife dating a relationship coach, which means midlife is after baby making years and before retirement. So this demographic of the over 45 crowd is roughly 75% of singles who are actively looking to connect who are over 45 years old are divorced. And with that comes a lot of emotional baggage. So men get framed into this belief, there's this kind of narrative that men are just supposed to be naturally claim a woman, they're supposed to be naturally chivalrous. And yet, divorce, and if 75% of the population who's single looking for love is divorced, that's a very traumatic thing that can happen in a person's life and that can affect them emotionally deeply, whether a man or a woman. And I'm here to say that the narrative about men being, I'm almost, I feel bad for saying it this way, but are bad, bad people because they might fear intimacy. Well, the reality is is men and women alike fear intimacy. This isn't a gender or biology thing, this is a human thing. Most of the time people that fear really connecting with another human being is because they had childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas that cause them to be scared. And whether you're man or woman, I can tell you there are equally a number of scared women out there in the dating realm, as well as there are men. So I'm gonna get into a second of how to shift this narrative about how to get much closer to a guy and how to actually develop deeper intimacy. But I do wanna step back for a moment and share something with you because I was listening to a podcast the other day. From a so-called doctor, and I say so-called doctor, I mean, I'm sure this person legitimately received their doctorate and they wrote a book. Let me reframe that, this person is a doctor, I'm not denying the doctor part, but they were basically spouting a lot of science related to men, science. And it's mostly the caveman narrative about men and women, how cavemen are prone to look at women from a fertile or fidelity type of perspective. In other words, for making babies and that sort of thing. And there's truth to that. And certainly there was this narrative, she went on and on about how men need competition. In other words, she was actually suggesting to women, this person was suggesting to women that they actually date multiple people at the same time to make that man scared enough to want to claim her, to take her off the market because men love competition. And to the extent that there might be some truth to that, I wanna say this, everything that they were spouting centered around men mating with women.  Ladies, when you hear this narrative that men are hunters and men love the chase and men love to pursue and men love competition, well, actually we might like competition amongst our friends. So for that woman who got the advice of maybe dating multiple people at the same time to create competition and the guy chases that woman based on competition, that competition is amongst other men. It's not for that woman. So he claimed, by the way, you've seen this happening over and over and over again. Men, once they win you over, they become rather lazy. They become, you know, less romantic. In fact, they actually start to check out of the relationships once they've claimed you when this competition has been in place. This is why I'm such a big proponent of please don't do manipulative tricks, especially like tricks like the book, The Rules Talk About. These manipulative games do work short-term. In the short-term basis, they might work manipulating a guy might work. It usually works for the emotionally unhealthy man or the man who is severely traumatized or severely needy. It might temporarily work. But ultimately, a true heart-centered relationship is really based on intimacy. And let me tell you something, the fear of intimacy is not a gender biology thing because there are just as many women that fear intimacy as men. There are just as many women who have traumas in their childhood that makes them very difficult to trust. If a woman even has daddy issues and stuff like that, she oftentimes chooses much older men because that feels safer to her. And I'm just giving you one example. And there is no doubt there have been a plenty of objectification of young girls and abuse young girls or young women have experienced that makes them very fearful to actually lean into deeper intimacy in a relationship. And what I'm gonna spend the next few minutes before we take questions is to lean into intimacy because this is how we get much closer to another human being. And even when someone is scared, what I'm about to share is hugely important for developing intimacy. So first off, what does intimacy mean? Well, let's break down the words. Into me see. Into me see. Into me see. In other words, you get to see inside of me beyond the walls and the facade. And the reality is as most humans, men and women like are carrying these masks, they're carrying these walls, they're carrying these facades because the reality is most humans are suffering on the inside in some way, shape or form, centered around, I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. Let me repeat that. Most humans are suffering on the inside in some way, shape or form, centered around, I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. So, and guess what? Dating triggers that like nobody's business. This is why I'm such a big proponent of everyone checking out my book.   This is a deep dive into personal development, self-help and spiritual work that allows you to shore up your inside so you can be capable of a deeper, more loving, more nurturing, more juicy, delicious, healthy relationship like I talk about. By the way, there's a link below in the description if you wanna check out my book. So, coming back to intimacy, what's fascinating to me is most dating rhetoric that's centered on gender and biology is all predicated on the beginning stages of lust and limerence, lust and limerence. Lust is that desire to have sex and limerence is the early stages of infatuation. But let's get real, love is so much more, intimacy is so much more than the beginning stages of dating. In fact, if you're familiar with my relationship iceberg and I'm gonna put it up on the screen, my relationship iceberg and as you can see the top is chemistry in the tip of the iceberg and above the water line is attraction and below the water line is shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity, which means this is if you're compatible in these areas, you have a much stronger relationship and if you are compatible the water line of attraction begins to drop and you become more and more attracted to this person. This happens through intimacy into me see. So how do we develop intimacy? Well, from my perspective there's really only one way and that is developing a true friendship in your relationship. I'm gonna repeat that developing a true friendship in your relationship. You know what's fascinating to me? I get phone calls from women all the time that are strung out over some guy that they're in relationship with and they're lamenting over the whole thing. Maybe there's an ending, maybe there's a problem and they've been together six months, one year, two years, five years, whatever it is. And when I ask the question about their friendship, it's actually a very weak friendship that they have. A very weak friendship. Why is friendship so important? Let me tell you something. Do me a favor, interview anybody who's been married 30, 40, 50 or 60 years like my mom and dad were. They were married just shy of 66 years before my mother passed away. Every couple I've spoken to in a long-term relationship say they are married to their best friend. They are married to their best friend. And what that really means, what does friendship really mean? It means you can talk from your heart to this person. It means you can be vulnerable with this person. It means you can be authentic with this person and it also means you can be transparent with this person. And sadly, most relationships today barely build a friendship foundation. I'm gonna repeat that. Barely build a friendship foundation. Sure, they have connection. They spend some time together.  But are they truly friends? Can they truly talk to one another? And what's interesting, I was watching a podcast or a video the other day and now I gotta go find it. I can't remember where it was. But it talked about the reality is most humans are weak at what's called, here, I wrote this down. Conversational competency, conversational competency. Yeah, it's true. Most humans are really bad at true conversation. I'm talking about intimate conversation. I don't mean social conversation. Like how's the weather? How's your day going? I hope your day is good. Did you have a good day? I bet you had a good day. I'm really wishing you had a good day. I hope you have a fabulous day. I hope you have a fab day. Have a fab day. Have a wonderful day. Surface level. And by the way, what's up? How's it going? How's your day going? Thinking of you. All surface level conversations and people spend hours on their text messaging in mostly surface conversations. How do we go deeper to build that friendship? How do we go deeper to build intimacy? I think it requires some conversational competency. And so the other day I found my book my copy of my book. If you're not familiar with the book by Dale Carnegie called How to Win Friends and Influence People. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Darrell Carnegie. I was thinking about this, when I was preparing for this and I was thinking about this book and in the chapter, in chapters four and five, just to give you an example, chapter four, an easy way to become a good conversationalist an easy way to become a good conversationalist. Chapter five, how to interest people. And chapter six, how to make people like you instantly. I'm proposing that you all check out this book to become better conversationalists because the reality is, is with text messaging today, I mean, we are no longer meeting people organically. We are no longer meeting people in our social circle. We're no longer meeting people that know our brother and sister, that know our mother and father, that know our friends, that know our grocer. We're meeting total strangers. And many of you ladies, you witness this as well. You swipe right on some guy and what's the first thing out of your mouth? Hey, cutie. Hi, how's your day? I hope you have a good day. Oh, I'm just wishing you a good day. I mean, guys don't say that. Women say that, mostly the wishing you a good day. Most people are terrible at conversation and furthermore, most humans are terrible at going into deeper conversation. By the way, my coffee mug says, love yourself.  I wanna thank you so much for sending me this gift. But going back to conversation, most humans are terrible at expressing their needs, wants and desires in a way that's seen, heard and understood. This is why I continually recommend this book to everybody, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. And one of the benefits of reading these two books that I just talked about is hopefully you actually also in the process become a better flirter, a better flirter. Because not just in the beginning of the relationship but a healthy relationship is gonna have some juice and some spice in it. So beyond becoming vulnerable, authentic, transparent to be more intimate with your partner in a good conversational way, also you wanna create that spark that keeps the relationship alive. This is one of the reasons why I highly recommend if you want some ideas for flirting, believe it or not, this book by Barbara DeAngelis called How to Make Love All the Time, How to Make Love All the Time might help prepare you to think beyond the surface like most people do. And ladies, as I said in the beginning of this broadcast, most men are rather clueless. We know one thing, we want women. After that, we have no clue what to do after that. Ladies, you purchased these books 10-fold greater than men. So when I said to you earlier, men are rather clueless when it comes to leading in the relationship. That's because they lead at the pace they wanna go, which is minimal pace, just enough so they can get laid and get female connection. If you want a deeper, loving, deeper relationship with a guy, intimate relationship, then my invitation for you is to lead by example. Lead by example, start reading these books and using the tools and principles in these books from the very beginning. Folks, if you leave it up to the guy, you're gonna be two, three, four, five, six months into the relationship wondering if you're even exclusive and monogamous with one another because you haven't spoken up. And if you want a man to get closer to you, it starts from the very beginning. It starts from the very first moment you meet by showing up at the 50-yard line. And if he doesn't show up at the 50-yard line, you can pull back a little bit, that's okay. But show up at the 50-yard line and then witness if he does and if he doesn't invest as much as you, then move on. Because if two people aren't investing like a two-lane street in the relationship, it's going to eventually collapse and fail. Anyway, how do we get to deeper intimacy? It's through building friendship, social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, talking about current events, talking about politics, talking about religion. Go deeper into what's going on in your mind. Talk about your, by the way, the reasons why I talked about politics and religion is because it's a reflection of your values. And you can determine, is this person really open-minded or are they closed-minded? Because closed-minded people are very difficult to be in relationship with. And open-minded people go beyond the surface and that's what I want to invite you all to do is go beyond the surface. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know by hitting that like button. All right, I think you get the gist of where I'm going. The most powerful way to get a man close to you, develop that friendship and learn conversational competency to build that friendship through, as I said before, social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together. And by the way, this is one of the reasons why long-distance relationships struggle because they don't have enough time to do those things together. But that's for a whole nother conversation. All right, we're gonna jump into the Q&A part of our broadcast today. So if you're listening to the replayer, you're listening to the podcast version, the live stream is where there's a live chat box on YouTube. And if you post a question in the live chat box, write the word question, write the word question and post your question thereafter so it's easier for me to find. Or you can purchase a super sticker or super chat. Those who know the super stickers, super chats go to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's him right there. He's my son who passed away a few years ago. In his honor, I've created a scholarship fund to help the defray the cost of personal development, making donations to some really worthy causes that I believe in such as the Hoffman process and insight. So if you purchase a super sticker, super chat, that's where the funds go to. And also just please let me know if I'm making a difference in your life by purchasing the super sticker as well. All right, time to take questions. And by the way, Nicole, I noticed you posted a question. Do me a favor, cut and paste it, put again because I won't be able to find it. All right, Judith writes, question please, describe into me you see, what does that look like? Like you, I'm equally frustrated. You're right, men are clueless. Well, interesting enough, Judith, the fact that you don't know it is actually a reflection of your own cluelessness. So not to suggest, so I'm here to say ladies, I'm an equal opportunity judge. Men are clueless, women are clueless too. But the fact that that question was asked, now maybe you're trying to get my perception on it so I get it. So into me you see intimacy. This is being vulnerable, authentic and transparent with your partner. Vulnerable, authentic and transparent with your partner. That's true intimacy, to actually talk about each other's feelings in a way that you're seen, heard and understood. Now, most men aren't good at this.  So if you wanna bring it back in, it starts by learning how to express your own feelings in a very loving way. In fact, in my book, self-love the book or what the heck is self-love anyway, chapter one is speak your truth, do it with kindness. So it starts by speaking about your feelings. Start speaking about your feelings. Now, what I mean about your feelings, share how you feel about the relationship. Share how you feel about him. Share how you feel about yourself. Share about feelings that might be your own fears or insecurities. Now, what I'm here to say, it's not vomiting your feelings. It's not a feeling dump. It's expressing to actually, let me backtrack for a second. Ladies, if you want a really healthy, happy, juicy, delicious relationship, it's going to have to be co-created. It's gonna have to be co-created because men are clueless. So it's gonna have to be something you do together. This is one of the reasons why I continually recommend the book before the penis goes inside the vagina is that you read the book, Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman by two copies, one for you and one for him. This teaches you the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. And there are eight separate conversations that are rather intimate, that requires being vulnerable, authentic and transparent to determine if the two of you are really partnership material. Well, let me do it this way, partnership material. Are you really good partnership material? Well, Jonathan, that just seems like a lot of work and it's gonna turn a guy off. Yeah, because dating is supposed to be fun. Just focus on fun. Just focus on nothing but have fun. Just have fun. Just enjoy being romance and having fun. Well, that's great once the guy gets laid. And remember we talked about from a biological perspective, yes, we are chasing lust and limerence, but don't you wanna go deeper beyond the surface of a relationship? So coming back to intimacy and your question, is it starts by expressing your feelings? So let's say you express your feelings for five minutes to a guy. And then you invite him to express his feelings. Well, he might spend 30 seconds expressing his feelings. Okay, well, that's in your growing. Well, Jonathan, I did five minutes. He only did 30 seconds. Well, I want you to do it again. I want you to express your feelings, maybe some days later for five minutes and invite him to express his feelings. You might find that he might do 38 seconds the next time. But Jonathan, there was a difference. All right, he'll be patient. So then you do it again. You express your feelings for five minutes and then you invite him to express his feelings. You might be surprised. He might spend 49 seconds the next time and he might spend a minute, 30 seconds the next time and he might spend two minutes the next time because men have to kind of grow into our feelings when we're with a person. But it starts by leading by example. Now, here's the thing. If you vomit your feelings from a place of fear that you will lose him, then you will most likely lose him if it's coming from fear. If it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. You only lose the wrong person or you're not the right person for him. If you're constantly in fear in the relationship, if you've given your power away to the guy, then guess what? You're not the right partner for him. A truly self-empowered woman doesn't give her power away to a man. And I will tell you, women give their power away continually. Have you seen my worksheet? The seven ways women give their power away. The relationship is on his terms.  You're afraid to speak your truth to him. You're always waiting for him to initiate. These are the things that are gonna get you in trouble long-term.  And thank you for that question. It starts by leading by example. Into me you see means vulnerable, authentic and transparent. And the deeper you become vulnerable, authentic and transparent with one another, you're actually building the deeper friendship that eventually leads to strong partnership. And that's my invitation for you. Thank you for that question. I really appreciate it. All right. Carrie says, we don't lead a clueless man. We do our own work. By the way, women, by the way, men and women should both be doing work. I agree. All right, deep diver writes, question, hi, Jonathan. What if a man says he's open, open our heart but isn't into commitment, isn't into commitment? Well, okay. So ladies, this great question. What if he says he's not into commitment? Then it boils, it's not about him next. It's about you. If you want a fully committed relationship that leads to partnership where either live together or get married or have some sort of partnership and he's not into commitment, then it really comes down to, what does your standard say about what you want? And if it doesn't meet your standard, you say that's not acceptable to me and then you have to hold to that standard. You know, it's interesting. I caught the last five minutes of a movie earlier today. I was just flipping channels before I turned on the news. And it was about a woman. The scene was a, from what I gathered in the movie, there was scene was this man and woman meet each other at a park and it turned out they were engaged and right before the engagement, he called off the marriage. And then the balance of the movie, I didn't see the movie, was her learning how to adjust to this heartbreak, this real pain. And she was really learning how to build self-love, self-love, self-respect, self-worth, self-confidence. But this scene was at the end of the movie because he came back and said, he goes, oh my God, I realized I made a mistake. Oh my God, I realized I made a mistake and I want you back. And what I loved was she said no, she said no. And let me tell you why I'm happy she said no. She said no, well, what she said in the movie, why she said no was because she finally found her worth. And when she realized she found her worth, she goes, I didn't, I realized I don't need to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with me.  But here's the bottom line, ladies. He wasn't, just because a man misses you, that doesn't equal love. Love comes from real appreciation from another person, not from a missing, because if he got her back, he would temporarily feel good, but he'd be right back to where he was before. Because the reality is, if you're willing to lose something you appreciate, let me reframe that. Most humans lose what they don't appreciate. My instincts tell me in this particular movie scene, he didn't appreciate her. He just longed for once he lost her from that territorial perspective that that biology men have and not from a place of true love.  And that's my invitation for you, deep diver.  If commitment's important to you and they don't want commitment, but they act like everything else is great, then you get to make the choice because ultimately you either accept him for who he is or you move on. But I know Jonathan, if I just stick it out, magic fairy dust will make him commit. Bullshit, ladies. Magic fairy dust doesn't make men commit. And not necessarily time either. What makes a person commit is they're a grown-up in relationship. They have emotional maturity. Going back to my relationship iceberg, do they have emotional maturity? That's the question you should be asking and that's my invitation for you. So deep diver, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right, I just wanna fix this picture. All right, let's see what other questions we have. Nicole, maybe, oops. Let's go swimming, let's go swimming. I saw one from Sal. Okay, bear with me, everyone. It's just this screen kind of hops around. So it's a little bit difficult for me to find the questions. Sometimes you have to post. Nicole says, where are all the good men hiding? Where, Nicole, where are all the good men hiding? Let me tell you the exact same place all good women are hiding. Let me repeat that. It's the exact same place. So do me a favor, Nicole. Tell me exactly where all the good women are hiding for me and you'll have the answer to your question. So I want you to post that in the box. Where are all the good women hiding for Jonathan? Just say, Jonathan, this is where all the good women are hiding and I'll tell you that's where men are hiding. And please don't say they're all hiding in some women's group because then I can just equally say men are all hiding in men's groups. Tell me where good women are and I'll tell you that's where good men are. Thank you so much. Blue-eyed wolf says, if he's scared of commitment, run, run, run. I agree, folks, do not invest time in someone who does not want a fully committed relationship. Bear with me, everyone. I'm just trying to find, let's go swimming. If you have a question, post the word question and then write the question thereafter. All right, Denise writes, Denise, Denise. How to start a conversation on an aiding app with a guy in a unique way instead of saying, how's it going? How do you start a conversation? Love, love, love this question. All right, everybody write this down. The acronym is nice, N-I-C-E, N-I-C-E, N-I-C-E, nice, nice, nice. Okay, the N stands for name. Most dating apps these days, hold on a second, this is my spare phone, most dating apps today or dating sites, most dating apps, dating sites like Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, they all have the person's first name. So start with the person's name, start with the person's name. Hey, Jonathan, really nice to connect with you. Might be one way to start. The I stands for inquisitive. You ask a question, be curious. You might say something like, hey, I'm curious, where did you take that picture where you're wearing a crown? Where did you take that picture where you're wearing a crown? One of my pictures is I'm wearing a king's crown. So you could just simply say, where were you when you took that picture? B inquisitive. The C stands for compliment, compliment. Compliment him on his looks, compliment his entire, compliment him on his profile, compliment him on his words. And then the E stands for enthusiasm, enthusiasm. Throw in an enthusiastic emoji, something that gives energy. Oh, I've got to turn off this phone now. Bear with me a second. So be enthusiastic. Name inquisitive, compliment, enthusiasm. That is a much, this might be this long of a message. I'm gonna tell you something. When I see a message from a woman, she took the time to write something. That's the woman I go, wow, she's got class. The woman who knows how to use the nice acronym, name inquisitive, compliment, enthusiasm. That's a woman who has class. And I'm looking for a classy woman.  Please let me know. Have you used my nice technique? Please let me know. But that's my invitation for you. So great question. Thank you so much, Denise. Kim says, give us some interesting examples of interesting topics for a first date. So I think a really great topic is asking somebody about something about them that's weird, weird, weird. Okay, ask them something. So first off, it starts off by finding out something weird about yourself. So those who know me know that, at least my circle of friends know this about me, is I hate condiments.  I can't stand ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and relish. So those are the more things. I do like sauces and things, but those are like the horsemen of the apocalypse. The four horsemen of the apocalypse for me. So that's something unique and strange about me. So sometimes just for fun in conversation, when I'm talking to them, I go, hey, can you tell me something strange about you? Something weird or strange, just something for fun. And I'll go, I'll go first and I tell them about this and they'll go, well, how do you eat a hot dog? And I go, plain. I really can't stand those things. And it's a great icebreaker to talk about your peculiarities and things about you that might be a little strange. I'm actually a little bit also impatient. My sons know this about me, is when we went to restaurants, I get so impatient. And by the way, this is a neurotic part of who I am, but I'm vulnerable, I'm authentic, I'm transparent with someone. Now a lot of people will say that makes you less attractive to a human being.  I'm talking about going deeper right from the get go. So you might try that one as one example, and I hope that helps. So thanks so much. By the way, I wanna thank Doug for that super sticker, much appreciated. All right, let's go swimming. Wait a minute. Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Bear with me, everyone. Michelle says, I have found being vulnerable is working. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you, Michelle, for saying that. All right, bear with me. If you have a question, post the word question. Deep Diver says, how can you regulate your desire for a man, both men, but when both are into each other, but he is scared of commitment. I understand him, but so I need his affection as he does me. Again, coming back to the commitment, if he's, what's for, all right.  I'm sorry, I'm a Puritan. Sex, listen, I've had a lot of one night stands in my life. I'm not proud of it. I've chased women purely for the sex of it. I'm not proud of it. I've been complete, I've done the dysfunctional moonwalk after I've had sex with a woman. I'm not proud of this.  Ladies, this is the big percentage of the population. So how do you get a guy on track? You gotta smack him upside the head and you do it by getting two copies of this book and you read it together. And if he's not willing to do it, then he's not your guy. Folks, if he's not, by the way, any guy that's afraid to do this or gives resistance or makes you out to be wrong for wanting this, if a guy makes you out to be wrong for wanting this, watch out because that's Ike Turner. You do not wanna be with a control freak. You do not want, and by the way, I didn't mean that they would be physically abusive. I was being tongue and cheek here. But I'm saying, you do not wanna control freak and any guy that gets turned off by this ain't your guy. And I will tell you, women are now writing me. I mean, I'm getting emails every week from someone saying, Jonathan, I bought two copies of this book and it's really helping us in our relationship. I bought two copies of this book and it's really helping in our relationship. I bought two copies of this book and it's really helping. Folks, start doing the work, stop being so naive.   It's time to be more pragmatic. It's time to be, to see the bigger picture.  First woman I really, really deeply cared for right after my divorce. And I was a trainwreck when I met her. I just lost my quarter million dollar a year job. I was doing, I was snorting cocaine just because I was in so much emotional pain. I was drinking quite a bit and I hid it.  I wasn't getting high. I just was needing something to get me through. It's like, you know, like, listen, I'm not saying it's equal to an antidepressant, but it is a chemical to help me not feel so bad. That's what I was doing. And I met this woman, great woman. I mean, just fantastic woman. And I'll never forget, we had, our first date lasted three days. It was one of those, we had sex on the first date and I stayed at her place for three days and it was fantastic. And we began a relationship, but I was such a trainwreck. And she said to me after our first encounter, she said, Jonathan, I have to date you with rose-colored glasses because I know you're a mess. So I know this about you. I'm gonna go against my better judgment. And so we went on to date for three months and sure enough, I completely hit my wall and I did the dysfunctional moonwalk and she understood it. What was so interesting is in our first month of dating was Christmas and for Christmas, she gave me, I'm showing this to you, a box picture frame of rose-colored glasses, a box picture frame of rose-colored glasses. I don't know if you can see that, okay? Well, I'm sharing this with you today is she knew what she was getting into and she knew it was gonna be short-lived and she owned it. And to this day, 15, 16 years later, we're still social friends. We stay connected together through Facebook. She's since got married. She was so there for me when my son passed away. I'm not that we were really two friends after the ending of the relationship, but we stayed acquaintances with one another. My point for sharing this is she was pragmatic about it. She didn't get caught up in the whole chemical reaction and the whole, you know, like, she did not give her power away to me. That's really what she did. She didn't give her power away to me. So for that, one of my best experiences into her, and by the way, I still sometimes think I let the wrong person go. And I really didn't because I wasn't the right person then if she subsequently got married to a great guy. But there is something I will say when a man is a mess, he can't see a high value woman. Thankfully, she saw my value. And while I wasn't a good mate for her, she knew it ahead of time. We make choices so we can learn to grow from all of our experiences. There is no such thing as a failed relationship, only a relationship that may have ended. And she saw that as a learning lesson for her and I saw it as a learning lesson for me well after the fact. Thanks for allowing me to share that story. I really appreciate it. All right, let's find out. If you have a question, post the word question. Here we go, Kimberly writes. Why would a guy I dated a great few months from, wait. Why would a guy I dated a few months from college who talked about me moving to him up and started dating someone else was long distance but I fly free. She's long distance too, narcissist. First off, listen. Lust and limerence, that's the biological thing that happens to men and women is lust and limerence. Lust and limerence does not equal relationship success. Relationship success is built after the chemistry through shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. And Kimberly most likely what was lacking there is that blendable lifestyles for the two of you to actually build that deeper friendship. Remember I said intimacy is about friendship. It means social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends, traveling together and then lastly, emotional maturity. You labeling them a narcissist is actually, I'm gonna judge you for it for a second. Let me reframe that. I'm gonna call you out on that.  People that lack emotional maturity aren't narcissists. They're just weak skilled at emotional maturity. Most likely there were childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that wanna unheal. This is why I continually recommend the book The Hoffman Process, The Hoffman Process to heal childhood wounds and traumas. And that's most likely what's going on for him. And if you wanna do a deeper dive, really ninja level work, then I highly recommend checking out Greg Brown's book called Grounded Spirituality, Grounded Spirituality. This is ninja level spiritual work to get you out of the trappings of our unhealed wounds and traumas. And this might require going to therapy. This might require emotional release work or somatic therapy work, just to name a few. In fact, I'm a big proponent of everybody reading the book by Marianne Williamson called Return to Love, Return to Love. This is a great book to start healing from the inside out. So we can judge the man or ultimately we can go, thank you for this experience. I'm glad I learned, I invite you Kimberly to ask yourself what positive things did you learn about yourself in this experience? What was good and what are you most grateful for? That's my invitation for you. Great question, thank you so much. All right, oops, sorry, this one.  Oh, here we go, super sticker, by the way. So from Marcia, I have been having a hard time to find an open-minded guy over 50. They say they are, but when I tell them that I'm an ethical vegan, they scrunch up their faces. I've been learning so much from you, Jonathan. Thank you so much. So thank you for sharing that. I think one of the best ways to determine someone's open-mindedness is to talk about politics, religion, and current events and current affairs. I think you really get a sense of where they stand because here in the United States we are literally divided. It's very sad. It's left and right. It's blue and red. It's black and white. It is so divided here. And I can't begin to tell you how few people seem to have an open mind. So how do you tell someone as an open mind? Is that they listen to your point of view and they accept your point of view as being true for you. Now, you must do the same. So this person who might be a meat eater, by the way, I'm a meat eater. I'm a meat eater. I totally understand ethical vegans, but I'm still not gonna change how I feel about, I love a good prime, a good rib eye steak. Anybody who likes a rib eye steak, please let me know. That's my favorite. I like prime rib too. So I understand ethical and I totally empathize with that too. When I say empathize, I can appreciate it. A true open-minded person listens to your point of view, accepts your point of view as being true for you and you do it for them. That's what open-mindedness is all about. The problem is, is at least here in the United States, we're in power struggles. And this is why a big chunk of relationships never get off the ground because people are stuck trying to be right, proving their point, instead of just understanding from a compassionate place, the other person's point of view. Thank you so much for that super sticker. I really appreciate it. All right. Elaine says, a big hug for you. Thank you so much, I appreciate it. Teresa says, it's hard for me to hold a conversation telepathic. Yes, long distance relationships is that's what it's like. All right, let's see. Oh wait, here we go. Lita says, I'm listening to this and realizing right now I suck at asking the questions necessarily to get what I need in a relationship. When can I schedule a discovery call? Great question. Folks, one of my area of expertise, by the way, there's a link in the description below to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. My job, my private coaching is centered around helping you determine true compatibility through my relationship iceberg and then designing questions specific for you to determine if you're compatible with one another and to determine his emotional maturity. By the way, I work with men as well. So if you want to go deeper than the surface then I highly recommend scheduling a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you and that's what I teach you. How to determine true compatibility. How to ask the right questions to see if you're compatible and how to vet for emotional maturity. Check out the link below. All right, Sal says, wait, where's that question, Sal? Okay, here we go. Sal, is it tall, tall? Question, my man has remission MS and it will end up being progressive MS. We will be discussing his coming needs and I'm very willing, supportive and loving of that. What else may I need? Ooh, what else may I need?  Here's the thing folks, true love isn't all the good times. True love is wiping the vomit from someone's face when they're going through chemotherapy. True love is being there for your partner when they need you. That's where true love lies. I'm here, you matter, we are important. I've got your back, I'm not going anywhere and I only want you. From what it sounds like, Sal, you're doing a great job being supportive of your partner. I'm really sorry that he's going through that. Let me rewind that. There are no words to say what he's going through and I only just send him my love and prayers and I send my love and prayers to you as well. Big hugs to you both and it sounds like you're doing a great job. So thank you for the super sticker and thank you for the share, I really appreciate it. On a completely separate note, prime rib rib-eye steak is the best, thank you so much. Vicki says, I love a good rib-eye and sirloin and so does Paula. By the way, I understand there are ethical vegans out there, I understand there are vegetarians. I live in Los Angeles, there's a plethora of them. Folks, listen, none of us live our life in absolute integrity. Let me say, most human beings rarely have lived 100% of their life in absolute integrity. I'm a big proponent rather than focusing on some of the minutia, what's most important, what's in your heart. So I highly recommend reading the book, The Four Agreements, The Four Agreements. The Four Agreements are simply be impeccable with your word, always do your best, never make assumptions and don't allow someone's projection of you to affect how you feel about yourself.  By the way, this was basically the same thing, don't let someone's projection of you affect how you feel about yourself. This was actually based on my son, Connor. That's Connor again, the one who passed away. By the way, that's my other son, Colin. By the way, there's him right there. I have a great relationship with Colin, we speak regularly, I'm very blessed. He's a good man, he's started his own tutoring company, by the way, if you need an online tutor to help your children, reach out to me, I'll hook you up with Colin. He graduated magna cum laude, double major, French and English and started his own business. He's a really good young man. But coming back to Connor.  He really didn't give his power away to anyone. He really retained his sovereignty. In fact, this book is not only dedicated to him, but it was inspired by him shortly after he passed away. And I'm smiling because, no, I'm sad. I'm smiling because he gave me the courage to do what I'm doing here. He gives me the courage every day. And the reason why I bring him up regularly is to keep him alive in my heart.  I don't pander my dead son to my audience. I talk about my son who passed away because for me, it's important to bring him up. And I know this is a, you're my audience that follows my work and I know I'm here for you, but I'm also sharing a bit of me. And I say this because for me, this is how I keep him alive. And this, the way you've, the way many of you have reached out to me with so much love and compassion towards him, I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate it. So from the bottom of my heart, Connor can teach you a lot, so check out the book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway. All right, we're gonna take one more question before we wrap up today. You can purchase a super sticker, super chat as well. All right, so, let's see. Nelda says, Coach Jonathan, thank you. QD says, you are allowed to talk about him as many times as you want. You donate money on his behalf. It's a very valid reason to bring him up. Thank you, QD, I appreciate that very much. Nicole says, I appreciate your time with us. Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. Empathy nesting, empty nesting says, I can't imagine how hard this must be. Thank you so much. Jackie says, any insight on the dealing with erectile dysfunction? Purchase a blue pill. I think what you mean is with a man who's going through erectile dysfunction.  Every man has his own shame around this. I listen, folks, I need a blue pill. Well, actually it's a white pill now because I get the generic version. And it's just because I want real stiff wood, not weak stiff wood or weak wood. I mean, not that I have deflated wood. It's just not as like as much as I want, so I use it. Each man is different when it comes to this. What's most important is to just energetically be understanding, just be energetically understanding. I had a woman once shamed me because my heart on just wasn't stiff. And she literally said, what's wrong with you?  I mean, it totally deflated. So rather than say anything, just be compassionate, loving. Quite frankly, there's not much anything anybody can say to make us feel good around the shame it feels to not have the stiffness that we once had when we were younger. Most of the time it's a circulatory issue. I know I have some circulatory problems. So I do my best through exercise and keep up my cardio and such, but just be energetically compassionate. He's gonna find his way through it and hopefully you find a great sex life through it as well. So, Judith, thank you, Jackie, thank you for that question. I really appreciate it. All right, let's go swimming. All right. Question, do you expect women to be financially secured? Do you wanna provide for them? Are you asking me personally or are you asking about men? For me personally, I wanna be with somebody who can financially take care of themselves. Listen, folks, most of you know I got wiped out in the market crash of 2008 and I went through a divorce. So I mean, not only did I go through a divorce and I lost half of the assets went to her, I then got wiped out with a balance. So for me personally, I want someone who can take care of themselves. And to the extent that I look at it this way, the reality is here in the United States it takes two incomes to make most relationships work. So most women I meet are working and if we pull our resources together, hopefully we make enough to travel the world five times a year, who knows? Anyway, I hope that answered your question. Thank you so much. Kimberly says, Jonathan, I get it. We HV is our memories. My son, Sam would be 11.  I know you're going through some hardship as well. Thank you so much. Nicole says, I understand a husband a year ago. So I understand thank you so much. All right, I think Rebecca says not too sensitive, LOL, men are becoming weaker and weaker. Sorry to think you see it that way. I'm gonna say women are becoming less and less compassionate than ever before. I don't mean that. I just don't, Rebecca, I'm sorry. I just don't like rhetoric like that because this idea of weak and strong, look it, we're all human beings. That's a judgment and that's almost a criticism. And it's all it does is serve to expand that narrative and make us less connected to one another. Folks, I highly recommend everybody reading the book if the Buddha dated. If the Buddha dated, I highly recommend this book because we've got to stop this narrative about gender divide. Yes, some men are weak, some men are strong, some men are hurting, some men are going through problems.  It's a human condition. It's not a gender condition. And that's my issue with things like that. So that's just my belief on that one. So thank you so much.  Hey, get a friend with benefits. I mean, it's just one option, masturbate a lot. I don't know. Listen, folks, I don't have all the answers. I have lots of opinions, but I don't have all the answers. You've got to come up with these answers for yourself as well. But I'm going to offer my take on that. And that's just my take on that. Find a friend with benefit or masturbate a lot.  I don't know. I'm not suggesting that I'm being tongue and cheek joking. Vicki says, I love that you talk about Connor. Thank you so much. Surer says, thanks for the book advice. You're very welcome. Victoria says, amen, Jonathan. Blue Eyed Wolf, wait, where did Blue Eyed Wolf says, I haven't dated in 10 years. Just curious, if you haven't dated in 10 years, why are you on my channel? Just curious. Victoria, amen, Jonathan. Carrie says, don't give up, Nicole. All right, we're going to take our last question of the day. Where is it? Let's go swimming, let's go swimming. All right, this is the last question of the day. Elaine, what is your opinion about dating a married man whose wife has been in memory care for six years? That's an interesting question. So I've got mixed feelings about that. I mean, if someone's in memory care, I mean, which I'm assuming is Alzheimer's and whatnot, as far as dating that person, is so long as I think he's clean with his wife, so long as he's clean with her, not that she needs to know because she's gonna forget. You know, actually he could just sit there and tell his wife, this is crappy for me to laugh. Hey, listen, I'm dating someone and then she'll forget it. So at least you came clean. So long as he feels clean with what he's doing, just remember this, a lot of men deeply love their spouse and it's very hard for them to engage in someone new, but they want companionship, connection and sex with someone, but it doesn't necessarily mean he's capable of going the distance. So just know this, you might be just like this woman, Jonathan, I date you with rose color glasses, just like that woman who dated me with rose color glasses. Just know this, you might be dating someone who's incapable of going deeper. So you have to make that choice for yourself, but so long as he feels clean about it, then do what you want. Everybody's a grown up here, we're grown ups. We can make up grown up choices. All right, oh my gosh, you know what? These were great questions. Everybody, I wanna thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, just to remind you the most powerful way to get a guy closer to you. Intimacy, into me you see, which requires deeper friendship in the relationship and how you build deeper friendship is learning how to be a conversational or how to have conversational competence. And just as a reminder, the two books to order to get conversational competence is Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg and How to Win and Influence Friends by Dale Carnegie. All right, folks, I think this will be a great place to wrap up those who know me know. First off, please hit that like button to let me know you liked it. Purchase a super sticker, super chat before you wrap up. Please tell your friends about my channel. Please send my videos to your friends. I'd be really, truly grateful and would appreciate it. All right, we're gonna wrap up this video as we always do.  I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear, a pillow, and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now, bye-bye.


Live from Las Vegas, it's theCUBE, covering Dell EMC World 2017. Brought to you by Dell EMC. Welcome back to Dell EMC World. I'm your host, Rebecca Knight, along with my co-host, Keith Townsend. We are joined by Fernando Thompson. He is the CIO of University of the America's Puebla, Mexico. Thanks so much for joining us, Fernando. Thanks, Rebecca, to you.  Well, Universidad de las Américas Puebla is in the state of Puebla. We have around less than 10,000 students. We have 1,000 employees and we are full dedicated to research and development and also bachelor's degrees. I used to work for the federal government and also for the private sector in Televisa and Entertainment, but I have never been in such a huge challenge like in a university because it is so difficult to implement the governance, but at the same time, the freedom, and if you think, well, for instance, when is the period of time where more malware appears in the world, it's on vacations where the students of the universities have enough time to build that kind of thing, not very creative people. So in the sense that, well, we live in an environment where you have to deal to deliver technology to protect to millennials that doesn't want to be protected and also, you know, they always ask for more services and now it's coming the Generation C, so it's going to be real tough for the next years. So set the scene and talk to us about the kinds of things you were trying to deliver, better products, better speed, better services to both students, prospective students, faculty, and staff. Talk about what some of the needs were. Well, we have to think that actually technology is very important in the university because we have to prepare our students to give them the tools to face the future. The world is changing and Mexico right now have a huge challenge because we're competing against China, Brazil, and India. We used to have an advantage with the price and people that is very well prepared and with the salaries, but not any longer. So we have to give this advantage to our students. So nine years ago, when I arrived to university, for instance, we have the subscription system and it was awful because it was very slow with the performance and not very reliable. So the people was really complaining, because we're a private university. You always expect good performance for a private university, and especially subscription with your main customer that is a student. So we start to work to fix the main system and it takes us years, years. So we pass through availability and reliability but bad performance, now performance, but since we implement Extreme I.O. And we change all the data center with Dell products. This very year in spring, in the spring semester, we make a huge change because the subscription system now became one of the biggest transformation tools in the service for the students. What happened was that during the subscription, we announced a special day and a special hour, 8.30. And if you are okay with your administrative stuff and qualifications, you can get into the system and subscribe. Four years ago, that takes like one hour or 45 minutes. But with the change that we made, now it's a matter of two minutes. So it was a change of 100 degrees. What happened was that, yes, we changed the application, but also with this flash technology, we use it because at the end, what we want to make was to impact to the student, in order that they can receive the schedule, he can take faster decisions. They move very fast with the computers and with the devices. So they just need the application. So we build it, we test it and it work it fantastic. And let me tell you something. How I measure, I don't have a business analytic tool or a business intelligence tool. What I have was access to Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, and man, they give us such a compliment. No, like, hey, TI finally did something well for us also. And it was thousands of comments. Memes was waiting, yeah, yeah. Memes was waiting to attack us like you shall not pass and it's not like past years, but not this year. So it was a successful story. And now we are thinking to implement all these changes that we made in another spaces of the university. So let's talk about that a little bit. So I think it is a great example of digital transformation. I don't need to ask you if you believe in digital transformation. That was the digital transformation to your business. Specifically, I'm interested in research. What type of research does the university do and how does your group play a role in enabling that? Yeah, basically, for instance, we have four programs of PSD with specialization in technology and also in environment, no? One of the top challenge that we are facing in Latin America. So we have to supply the technology than our research needs and it has to be at the same level of the United States. We belong to the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools in the United States. So it's not United States soil, but we belong to that association. So you have the same SLAs? Yeah, basically, basically. And we have to supply all the bandwidth and performance because they're discussing at the same time with people in Texas or Wisconsin or Alaska or Brazil. And they need, you know, for instance, high performance computing, storage, cloud tools, and for them have to be, you know, pretty clear and transparent. What I mean is that they don't care. And they don't have to care about where is working if it is expensive or not. No, you have to supply what they need. Let me give an example. For instance, a fractal. If you send the information of a fractal, we don't have a supercomputer in our university, but we have a deal with another university that they have this supercomputer. So what we do is to supply the connection of the computer to send information and to receive the information immediately in order that the graphic can have the information in real time. And people are taking decision in different parts of the country with that information that we're sending. Sometimes it could be, you know, if we are facing a hurricane or we're going to have a problem with water or if we want to avoid, you know, and you know, something then heck happened with an earthquake or something like that. And with that kind of information, now our researchers certainly can know what is happening. So we give the technology for them. We make a mixture between cloud computing services and also our data center. Then I became a wonderful tool because with ExtremeIO and with our new servers, if you can go to our new data center, you will realize that it's only Dell and EMC right there. And something funny is that we have a wonderful data center. But to be honest with you, we only use right now only three racks. So the space that we are using right now with this new disk is, the space that we are saving is amazing, no? Because if you can see our racks, you will see that we have, for instance, Clarion and DMX and another technology. Right now, we shoot down all those racks. And right now we are using just like 40 inches of disk. And then, you know, I have more performance. I have savings on air, savings on electricity. The people think that we are having, you know, more space with more racks and more disks, but not any longer. So I think what is going to happen with Dell and EMC in the future, I think that they are going to deliver, for instance, 100 terabytes in just a USB or something like that. So there's not going to be any need of a data center. Fit ahead of a pin. Yeah. Fernando, thank you so much for joining us. No, thank you to you. Thank you, Rebecca. Thank you. I'm Rebecca Knight for Keith Townsend. We will have more from Dell EMC World after this.


So, how do you talk product-oriented companies about services and service design? That's one of the questions I got from Matthew, who's part of my selling service design with confidence scores and it's a great question as I've heard it a lot and a lot of people seem to struggle to sort of convince product-oriented companies and it can be physical products or software products on the value of services and on the value of service design. So that's exactly what I want to address in this video and the answer to this is of course it depends. How do you talk to a product-oriented company or somebody who has a really strong product-oriented mindset? Well, I'm going to give you an example which works really well for me if I'm talking to somebody who's interested in the finances or the business proposition of a product-oriented company and in that case I talk about two things. When I talk about services compared to products and to money, one of the things I like to address is that services give you a competitive advantage compared to products as services are by their very own nature much harder to copy for competition. Every service requires some kind of human interaction or at least there's a much bigger human interaction part in a service than there is in a product. So that makes services much harder to copy for your competition. That's one thing and the other thing is that services, people tend to pay way more for services compared to products. Just think about if your car breaks down or if your tire runs flat, you'll much likely pay much more or premium for somebody to fix your tire than the actual tire itself, the cost of the tire itself. So there's a big business opportunity for actually delivering services on top of products and this is not new, of course we all know this but somehow people tend to forget this. So again, how do you talk to product-oriented companies about services really depends on who you are talking to but if you need to make a business case for service design I'd say services help you to gain a competitive advantage as they are much harder to copy and customers tend to pay more for services so there's a great opportunity to make a larger profit. I'm really interested in how do you approach conversations with product-oriented companies? What do you say to get them excited about services and service design and maybe also what challenges do you see? Leave a comment down below and let's see what you all come up with. If you enjoyed this video don't forget to share it with somebody who might also benefit from what we are discussing here and thanks for watching and I'll see you in the next video.


Hi, beautiful. It's been two months since I've posted on social media. I've definitely learned some things. Three things in particular. One, taking a break from something that causes you a lot of stress and anxiety can open your mind to new possibilities and get your creativity flowing again. I'm really happy I did take the break. Two, this one might come as a shock. I learned that I don't wanna just be the hair guy on social media, I know, Gasp. I actually have a lot of interests and I wanna, I guess, prepare you to see a lot of content that is not just about hair. I wanna share more, I wanna be more me and I'm excited about it. Three, I learned that if I don't enjoy something I'm doing then I should stop doing it. And I know that that sounds really simple but there's a lot of times where I was doing things because it brought me achievements and it doesn't make me happy. And that took a long time for me to realize. I'm really in my chasing happiness era and that is what I plan to do going forward. Hope you'll follow me along on the journey.


declaration, right, to make a declaration about what God has done for us in Christ and specifically about the area of finances, the area of prosperity, the area of success, the area of promotion and provision, right, what the Lord has done for us and just one of us to, you know, to make that part of us speaking, right, Joshua 1-8, we see the instruction that God gives Joshua and says, let this book of the law not depart from your mouth, but you shall, you know, you shall meditate on a day and night and you shall be careful to observe to do everything according to what is written in this, then you will make your way prosperous and you will have good success. So that's the instruction we see the Lord giving, God giving Joshua at a very crucial point in his life, right, it's a very, at a point when he was probably intimidated by the by the magnitude of, you know, the responsibilities that he was about to carry, about to shoulder, so how he had already, you know, taken on and the Lord gives this very important principle and he says, you know, I will be with you wherever you go, I will be with you as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. So the presence of God and the principle of God, the principle that he gives Joshua, you know, both are important. So we need to consider both the presence of God and the principle. So even as we make this, you know, proclamation or confession of God's word, again, I want to reiterate, you know, the presence of God in our lives, the relationship that we as branches have with the wine, that's of paramount importance, and our identity and our intimacy with God and everything, you know, everything flows out of that. And then, you know, we look at these principles, right? So it's like, it's not either this or that, but it's both, both the presence and the precepts, presence and the, the person and the principles, right? So, okay, so let's do this. I'm actually using the church app, APC church app, if, you know, if some of you don't, if you've not downloaded that, I would recommend you can go to Google Play Store and, you know, download the app, has a lot of very useful resources. Okay, so let's, let's do this. It's about prosperity and success.  I am like a tree planted by rivers of water. I bring forth my fruit in its season. My leaf does not wither. And whatever I do, prosperous, I am blessed in all the works of my hands. I follow the Lord, His Word and His ways. And He causes me to prosper and gives me good success. As I walk humbly and in the fear of God, He blesses me with prosperity, honor and long life. Man, let's, let's make another proclamation. This is about promotion. You know, my promotion growth and increase comes from God. It is God who makes room for my promotion. As I submit to the Lord, He exalts me in His time. It is God who sets me in places of leadership, authority and influence. Okay. Here's one more about provision and supply. My God provides for all of my needs according to His riches through Jesus Christ. The Lord is my shepherd and I will not be in want. The Lord is a Son and shield to me. He does not withhold any good thing from me. God gives me more than what I need so that I always, all I need for myself, plenty to bless others with. It is God who gives me the ability to make wealth. Amen. Amen. Let's, let's pray. Father, we thank you Lord in line with this proclamation, in line with this confession. Lord of your word, your promises. God, we, yes Lord, even as we've declared, we believe that we will walk in the fullness of all that we have declared. We believe that we will experience the power of the truth. Lord, that we have just spoken out loud, that we have declared. Oh God, we thank you. We thank you for your presence in our lives. We thank you for your power. Great is your power. That is at work in us Lord, the resurrection power. And Lord, we thank you for the power of your spirit, that you will bring things Lord into existence, that even those things which are not there Lord. Lord, some of the things that we have proclaimed by faith.  And I pray that over each and every person Lord in class who just declared these truths. And I just pray that they will experience, that we will experience the fullness of what we proclaimed even as we walk, continue to walk in faith. We thank you Lord. We give you all the praise. We give you all the glory. In Jesus' matchless name we pray. Amen. Amen. Okay, awesome. Let's just pick up from where we passed last class. We've been looking at the principles, like principles for God ordained prosperity. And we've been looking at some very interesting things, right? We looked at how we need to, what is the first one? Yeah, putting God first, right? We need to put God first. And then we looked at how we need to do what God wants us to be doing. Then we looked at how we need to practice righteousness, because that's the, that's the very nature of God. So we cannot, you know, have, and we cannot say that, okay, this is what God has for me. God has the best for me. And then, you know, do something that is opposite of God's nature and expect to see fruit or expect to see his hand of approval on it, right? So we looked at that very important principle of practicing righteousness. Then after that, we looked at work. Work itself is a vehicle. Work itself is a channel through which God provides for us supernaturally. So there's no reason to, you know, to look at work as something unspiritual. There's no reason to look at work as something that is off the devil and something that is cursed and so on. We see right in creation that God, you know, put Adam and Eve and said, you know, ask them to tend to God, to take care, give them a responsibility. So we see that work is spiritual, work is God ordained, and yes, after the fall, it is out of the toil and sweat of the brow and everything. But, you know, as redeemed creations, we see that, you know, God will use our work. We see several instructions that to bless others with it, right? It's a way by which God provides for our needs through the work that we do, right? To be gainfully employed. Nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to say that, you know, it's not a lack of faith to work. It's not unspiritual to work. So work itself. And then we looked at our faith in God, you know, using the principles of faith. So we looked at that last class. Okay, so today, let's look at in line with, you know, using the principles of faith. When we study the principles of faith, we saw that, you know, many examples of the Lord reaching out and healing. And we saw that people were, you know, saying, God, if you are willing, right? So there was no doubt, you know, in some of their minds about the ability of God to heal. But certainly, there was something about the willingness of God to heal. And every time the Lord Jesus, he said, I am willing, right? And what he did on the cross talks about his willingness to change things in our lives, physically, materially, emotionally, et cetera, especially in all realms, like to bring about change, to break down the outcome of the curse, and so bring in the finished work, the outcome of the finished work of the cross in our lives. So, you know, so we don't have to have any doubt about the willingness of God, because we studied the character, we've studied the nature of God that he's good, he's willing, and he is able, right?  But will God do it? You know, is he willing? That's something that we sometimes grapple with. And we saw through scripture that, yes, he is willing. It's a willing, he's there with both willingness and ability. So we can stand in faith. Because if we do not know the willingness of God, then we cannot actually stand in faith. So, yeah, to be assured of the willingness of God as well. So the next thing that we're going to see, let me just share the notes with you. So the next thing that we see is, again, flowing out of that principle of faith is to speak God's word of prosperity over your life. Okay. Maybe it's something new for some of us. Maybe we think sometimes, you know, how can I do that? It seems as if, you know, it seems presumptuous, etc. How can I assume this? And can I speak that God wants to prosper? Now, just like how we did this, you know, before the start of class, we look at scripture in all the declaration that we did this morning, out of for provision, for promotion, and about, you know, God bringing about prosperity in our lives. We see that it is, you know, it is based on scripture. Like the first one, I'm just, you know, for example, Acts 20, 28, Ephesians 1, 7, I'm sorry, Psalm 1, sorry, we start talked about, you know, the tree planted by rivers of water, right? Psalm 1, 1, 2, 3, Deuteronomy 28, 8, Joshua 1, 8, and so on. So we see that, you know, it's based on the word of God. So our confession is ceases to be an assumption when it's based on the word of God. Okay, so that's the thing. It is based on the word of God. It is truth that is covered by the word of God that is proclaimed by the word of God. So we are saying what God is saying or what God says. We say what God continues to say about us or about our situation, about our circumstance. And that's a confession, that's a faith confession. Okay, and like we said, it is not isolated from the relationship. It's not a mantra, it's not a formula, you know, that will work outside of the relationship. It is based on the word of God. It's based on the will of God for our lives. It's based on relationship, right? So it's a principle and it goes with the person and the presence of the Lord, right? So we declare, we proclaim what God says about prospering us over our lives, right? So we say that. Okay, so we look at Proverbs 18 and you know, I think some of us are very familiar with that, Proverbs 18 versus 20 and 21, death and life, the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit, right?  So there's a direct connection between what happens in the physical with what happens in the spiritual, right?  So it's a two very different outcomes, happening the same source, having the same source in common, but it depends on what we actually declare, what we actually proclaim. You know, we can either speak death, we can speak some negative outcome, or we can speak life, something that is positive, something that is good, something that is intended by God, and we can speak that out. And it says that those who love it will eat its fruit, meaning that, okay, what is the outcome that you want? What is the outcome that you desire? You will eat its fruit, meaning you will experience that outcome, okay, the fullness of that, the experience of what you will experience, or you will have the manifestation of what you are declaring, what you are proclaiming, okay?  Okay, Jeremiah chapter one, and the Lord's dealing with Jeremiah, and he says, Jeremiah one and verse nine, then the Lord put forth his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, behold, I have put my words in your mouth.  Okay, so we see this, God saying, you know, I put my words and I've set you over the nations and to root out, to pull down, to destroy, to throw down, to build and to plant. So, the outcome of God's words, the words of God, of eternal God, in the mouth of Jeremiah, a finite person, but this is what God's word brings about. This is what God's word will result in, right, to either build or even to pull down, throw down strongholds, et cetera. Right, so we see that. Another place where we see God instructing the word be spoken is in Ezekiel 37, right, where the Prophet has an experience and encounter with God and a prophetic experience that he has, and we see that in Ezekiel 37, where it says, the hand of the Lord came upon me and brought me out in the spirit of the Lord and set me down in the midst of the valley, which is full of bones.  There were many bones, there were dry bones, and the Lord asks the question, can these bones live? And obviously, Ezekiel knows better than to answer that question. So, he knows it's a trick question. Whatever response he gives, he's going to get caught. So, he says, Lord, you know, right, and the Lord says, okay, this is what I want you to do, right, speak or prophesy, prophesy means to speak forth, prophesy to these bones and say to them, okay, what is he saying? Oh, bones hear the word of the Lord. Thus says the Lord God to these bones, surely I will cause breath to enter into you and you shall live. Okay, so this is the instruction prophesy to these bones prophesy to this situation where it seems as if everything is lost, it seems as if nothing will, nothing can come out of it. It's a, it's a dead situation, right. It's a foregone lost cause. So, God is saying, you know, prophesy, say, say to these bones. So, he's giving his instruction, he's giving his words, and he's prompting Ezekiel to do something. So, Ezekiel does that and and then something happens, you know, he says verse seven, if you read Ezekiel 37, sorry, verse seven, so I prophesied as I was commanded. Okay, so, so I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I prophesied, then he talks about the supernatural work of God. He talks about the noise, the rattling, the bones coming together and so on.  And so, so he has this whole experience and this symbolically represented the the house of Israel and how God is going to revive them and so on, right. So, so the thing is this that what we learn is that we need to learn to speak God's word.   Not to be in an arrogant way, not to be in a proud way to show off your wealth and riches, no. God wants us to have enough and more for our needs and enough and more so that we can be a blessing to others, right. So, this is what God desires. He wants to step in and do that supernatural work and this is one of the principles that we see that we need to speak his word. What does God want you to speak, you know, about your finances? What is God saying that he will do, you know, find out the will of God, find out the plan and purpose of God. What does the word of God say? So, our confession is not something that is based on, you know, our own thinking. It's not like a positive, positive, you know, positive thinking or a positive affirmation that's just, you know, out of nowhere, no. It has its roots, it has its foundation, very firm and secure in the word of God, right. And again, I want to say that it's not devoid of, it's not separated from the person, the presence of the Lord, right. So, that's something that we see here, right. Speak God's word of prosperity, prosperity of your life. So, that's a principle. Then, we also see that we need to honor God in our finances, right. Given to the work of God and the giving to God's people and so on. So, we see several scriptures on that. Let's say, let's look at Luke 6 and 38. Okay, where the Lord Jesus says, give and it will be given to you. A good measure, press down, shaken together and running over, will it, will be put into your bosom for with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you. So, we're talking about generosity in giving and the way in which we need to give and the way in which it will be, you know, given back. So, we see that when we do that, when we give, we are actually being like him, right. We are imitating our generous God. We are imitating the greatest giver in the universe that John 3.16 talks about how God so loved the world that he gave. He gave his best. He gave without withholding anything. And so, we are called to imitate or mimic God as his dear children and God has put this principle there and that we, as we give, it is given back to us. So, we see that it's running over, right. You see the way in which it's given back says, good measure, press down, shaken together and running over, God brings into our lives, right. So, this is something that we see. So, while we're talking about giving, we just wanted to kind of digress and talk about a couple of other things, right. So, why do we need to give? So, we see that giving itself is an act of worship unto God, right. We saw that, you know, everything that we have actually comes from him. He's the source, right. So, God talks about how the Catalan a thousand hills, the gold is his, the silver is his. It's his, basically. And we have been given this to steward it as overseers and, I mean, overseers of what he puts into our lives. So, when we give back to God, it's from a heart of gratitude. It's from a heart of worship to him and we do this. It's not grudgingly. It's not because it says something bad will happen if I don't give. So, you don't give it grudgingly. You don't give it out of fear or compulsion. But you give it whole heartedly as a work of, as an act of worship to him, right. So, if we just read a couple of scriptures here. First Chronicles 16 and it was 27, 29. Okay. Honor and majesty are before him. Strength and gladness are in his place. Give to the Lord of families of the peoples. Give to the Lord glory and strength. Give to the Lord the glory due his name. Bring an offering and come before him or worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness. Okay. So, this act of bringing an offering and coming before the Lord is an act of worship, right. To see that it's not that he needs it, but we do it as an act of worship unto God, right. So, we are recognizing when we give to God, we're going to look into deep in a little bit of detail about, you know, about tides offerings and also about arms that is giving, you know, to help people to help them in times of need, etc. So, just want to mention that giving is an act of worship, right. We honor, we honor him.  It's an act of surrender. Just look at it. So, it's an act of worship to God. Okay. Also, it is, you know, when we give to others, it fulfills our covenant relationship with others. You know, we are in the body of Christ and we are called to be a blessing to those in the body. We are called to be a blessing to those outside of the body of Christ, you know, with the gospel and so on. So, we are actually, you know, it's an act of, it's a covenant relationship primarily to those in the body of Christ. We are, we can be a source of blessing to those outside as well. Okay. And Second Corinthians 9 and verse Second Corinthians 9, I'll share these notes with you as well. You can take a look at that. Second Corinthians 9 talks about how should a person give. Okay. Second Corinthians 9 and let's look at verse six onwards, right. But this I say that he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, but he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. So, let each one give as he purposes in his heart. Not drudgingly or of necessity for God loves a cheerful giver. For God is able to make all grace abound towards you that you having all sufficiency in all things may have an abundance for every good work. And the rest of the chapter also talks about a few other things about that.  Okay. So, God's not putting an amount, that's not putting a figure there saying, okay, this is how it must be. But he's saying, as you purpose in your heart, so you don't do it drudgingly or in response to somebody's manipulation or out of fear, none of that. Right. So, you see, you know, this truth is so liberating. Right.  No, you give as you purpose in your heart. And it says that God, you know, not drudgingly or of necessity. For God loves a cheerful giver. Okay. So, this is who God loves. So, it's in response to God, it is towards him. So, you give as you purpose in your heart. So, and here is the assurance or the reassurance that God is able to make all grace abound towards you. Okay. His divine virtues, his unmerited favor, he's able to make it all abound. Abound meaning, not in a little measure, but in a great measure, he's able to do that, that you having all sufficiency in all things may have an abundance for every good work. So, this is God's intention, this is God's desire. Right. So, a cheerful, when we give cheerfully, we give, you know, as he would give, as God would give. And this is what he says, you know. And Malachi 3, verses 9 and 10 talks about tithing, Philippians 4, 15, 16. Let's look at those verses. We are going to look at Malachi 3 a little later. Okay. So, Philippians 4 and verse 15, right, talks about when the Philippine church, which was, which was not really a very wealthy bunch of people, but they had their own needs, they had, they were actually in poverty, but they still partnered with Paul in the ministry. It talks about, now you Philippians know that in the beginning of the gospel when I departed from Macedonia, no church shared with me concerning giving and receiving, but you only, for even in Thessalonica, you sent aid once again for my necessities. Not that I, you know, seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account. And verse 19, and my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Okay. So that's Paul's exhortation saying, you know, according to his riches in glory. So from that account or from that vast pool of resources is what God is going to supply. He's not going to pull from, you know, scrape from somewhere and give, but no, according to his riches in glory, he's going to give. So some thoughts here on giving, you know, give totally, give the first and best, give in recognition of the law of sowing and reaping, and give the heart of love. Okay. So sometimes, you know, when it comes to giving, it can, it can be tough, you know, especially when you know that I don't have much. But you also understand that God is not really, you know, saying that you need to, you know, do this. So you don't have to do it out of necessity. But you do it as you purpose in your heart. You do it from understanding Father's heart.  You do it understanding that God has this in, you know, in mind for you, that the place where you are right now, maybe in lack, maybe not having all sufficiency in all things is not the place where it's not your final resting place. God wants you to take you from this place. And as, as you walk with him, as you journey with him, he wants to take you to a place where you having all sufficiency in all things will have an abundance for every good work. Right. So, so you give from that place with that understanding. So you see that either giving to the work of ministry, either giving to people or even, you know, tights and offerings, really an act of faith. It's comes from a place of relationship with God. So when we look at it that way, many times, you know, giving becomes very mechanical, right? Putting in one of the offer tree becomes something mechanical, and, but it need not be so. It can be our act of worship, be such a meaningful act of worship to God, it can be something that we are completely surrendered to, completely yielding to and bringing ourselves and submission to God. And it can actually put a lot of things to death, you know, the things of the flesh to death when we do that. Right. Okay. So three areas of giving. Okay. So what is the tight? Okay. So what is, what is the tight? Okay, we are in scripture. There is this principle of the tight, a 10% one 10th of all that we receive, we give unto God. Okay. So we see this principle being established by God. Of course, it was, we see it in the Old Testament, it is to where we see in Malachi chapter three. Let's read that. It's more of a rebuke, but we see this instruction, bring all the tights into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And try me now. And this says, the Lord, of course, if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it. And he goes on to say what he will do on behalf of us was 11.  So even before this, before verse, verse 10, you know, it talks about how people have not done that.  Right. So, so God has established this whole principle of tithing we see in scripture. Okay, and storehouse, of course. And in those days, we know that there was one place where people went to and offered their, you know, the table in Jerusalem, and they brought their tithes, all these kinds of different kinds of offerings, they came in and brought it.  Right. So a tithe, then, so we can say it's a, it's a, you know, it's, it's a debt to God, something that we owe God. It's a 10th of what God puts into our lives, brings into our lives. Right. And the second thing is the offering. Okay, it's something that again, it's for the work of ministry, or for the, to the local church, it's something that we are, it's like a seed that we're privileged to sow. Right. So is it beyond, you know, the tithe? Yes. So we, it's a free will. It's out of our free will again, you know, the same principles that we give it without any sense of necessity or out of a grudge, I mean, out of grudgingly, but we give it as unto God an offering. Right. And the third area we see is the arm, or something that we help the poor with, if we give arms to the poor, it's something, certain amount of money that we give to the poor in order to help, in order to assist, so we see these three areas of giving. Okay. So let's look at the tithe. Okay. So by definition, it means one 10th. Okay. Let's look at Genesis 14 and 20. Genesis 14 and verse 20, we, okay. Yeah. So we see that, sorry, 18 onwards, if you read, actually, Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine. He was the priest to God, Most High, and he blessed him and said, blessed be, blessed be Abraham of God, Most High, possessor of heaven and earth, and blessed be God, Most High, who has delivered your enemies into your hand. And he gave him.  Also, we see the reference to the tithe here in Genesis. And then, of course, we read Malachi 3. And also, if we turn to Matthew 22, okay, Matthew 22 and verse 21, the Lord Jesus saying, this is, you know, when the Pharisees were plotting and how can we bring him down and they tested him and they, you know, and they asked the question, is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar? And the Lord answers with all wisdom, show me the tax money. And then he says, render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar's and to God the things that are God. So when you look at tithe, it's something that we render unto God, that we bring unto God, right? Probs 3 talks about the first fruit of all our increase. So something that we have, the income that we have received, things that we have received into our lives, financially, we give a tenth of that unto God. Okay. So now, there might be certain reasons why, you know, when it comes to tithe again, a lot of, a lot of reasonings, a lot of questions, you know, why should we continue to tithe as people in the New Testament, you know, and so on. So let's look at some of the, some of the objections or some of the reasons why people do not tithe. Okay. First of all, it could be just lack of knowledge. Okay. I do not know this in scripture. So this would, you know, this, this is something that maybe as a spiritual leader or maybe as pastors, it is our responsibility to teach the congregation, right? Not to force, not to manipulate, but to teach on scripture. Hey, this is what, what God says. Okay. This is something that is scripturally laid down and to, it's not done as a, you know, as a way of just extracting from people.  And, and above all, it's, it's from God, it's an act of worship to God. So it's our responsibility to share that. So when they're with the knowledge comes obedience to the instruction. So maybe it's lack of knowledge. And personally, maybe people do not, you know, I mean, bring their tithes of, and give their tithes because of lack of knowledge. So sometimes it could be fear. What if God does not hold up, you know, his end of the bargain, his end of the promise. Okay, this is what he says that he will rebuke the devourer and, you know, he will make sure that the wine on the field, you know, everything will bear fruit and, and all that. And, but what if, you know, I do this and God does not? Well, the Lord says, try me, test me in this. Sometimes it's fear that keeping that is keeping people from obeying, obeying God. Sometimes it's selfishness, you know, I want this, I need it. I need it for myself. Sometimes it's deception and also deception coming maybe from a place of abuse also, right? Abuse in the church where, you know, sometimes you see a lot of these videos now with the social media, you see that, you know, when it talks about ministry, people are talking about a lot, a lot of about money and about how you need to give in order to receive and, and so on. And sometimes there is a lot of abuse of it. And so, you know, we might have that thought, okay, these preachers, these churches, these ministries, they just want your money. So I'm not going to give. So I'm just, I'm just not going to give to any of these people. And so you do think that, okay, you know, it will not be used well, it will be abuse of it, and they are constantly manipulating. Well, partly true. There is that abuse in the kingdom of God. We see that. But also we need to understand that, well, this is there in the word as well. So you find a place, find a place where there is good stewardship of it.  Be planted in that place, be established there and, you know, make sure the tithes are given. Okay. There could be some religious license, there could be, you know, a wrong understanding of scripture. Okay. So the thing is, okay, very common thing is this, you know, tithing is part of the Old Testament. It was an Old Testament law, Old Testament principle. Therefore, for us as new covenant people, it's not, you know, it's not relevant. You know, we could, we could say that, you know, it's part of the Old Testament law. So, you know, Genesis 1420, the verse that we read just now, we see that Abraham brought about a tithe of all that he had, and he paid to Elkizet it. But we see that this happened much before. 400 years before the law was given. Right. So this was actually done before the law was given. And even Isaac tithed, you know, we see that in Genesis, let's read that verse again, Genesis 29. Sorry, Genesis 29 and verse 22 says that, okay, say one second. It's 22. I'm sorry, there's a, I think that's a wrong reference. Okay. Let me, let me recheck that. I'm sorry about that. So we see that, you know, tithing is, it was much before the law came into existence. Right. So, and we see that, so this rationale of tithing is part of the Old Testament law. So, it doesn't hold good. Okay. The second thing is also tithing ended at the cross. Okay. So that's the Old Dispensation. We are in the New Dispensation. Tithing ended at the cross. Now we are people living on this side of the cross. Therefore, tithe is not applicable to us. You know, there could be an understanding like that. Okay. So the thing is that in scripture, we see that certain things are specifically discontinued. Right. And scripture very clearly specifically points that out. For example, we know, we see the blood sacrifice. Right. The Old Testament, we know that there was a shedding of blood from the animals, and which was an atonement for our sins. We see that. And the Lord Jesus dying on the cross, He was that perfect sacrifice, and His blood was shed as a final sacrifice.  Right. So it is specifically mentioned in Hebrews when we go there. Let's look at Hebrews 9.11. Okay. Hebrews 9.11. And it says that every, every priest, sorry, nine and verse 11. But Christ came as high priest of the good things to come with the greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands. That is not of this creation.  Okay. So and verse 25 says, not that he should offer himself often as the high priest enters the most holy place every year with the blood of another. Right. He then would have had to suffer often since the foundation of the world. But now once at the end of the ages, he has appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself. Okay. And the next chapter verse 12 says that this man after he had offered one sacrifice for sins forever sat down at the right hand of God. So we see that, you know, there was no need for any other sacrifice because he was that final sacrifice and the shedding of blood. Right. So the animal sacrifices ended with the cross. Okay. So I think we've run out of time. So we'll stop here. We'll continue again. We'll just review again tides. And then we'll look at some of this reasoning. It's very interesting. And hopefully it'll be very liberating as well. We'll look at this again next class. Okay. So right. Thank you. You guys have a good weekend. God bless. Bye bye.


It's hard for niggas to find an end to stuff. I think that's what it is. You have to literally take a step. And I remember the day that I turned into a hustler. I was playing.  And here and there, I remember the day that I turned into a hustler. And then I was 18. And I literally told him I was going downstairs to ask my mama for $20.  You just agitate, nigga.  You just agitate, wow. Damn. How you didn't get it out? I was just like, nothing.  After I asked for the $20, after I just said, Mom, I coulda just been saying, I love you. You feel me? I was like, oh, see, I already know what I'm finna say. And they got a little wind upstairs, looked in the mirror. And I was like, nigga, you grown, nigga.  You about to be one of them used to be niggas.  You don't know how to keep money, but you know how to get some money. Try to stack it, even if you get a hung up nigga. Today is the day you get money and don't look back. Do something.  But you feel me? But I'm like, you feel me? But bring it back, though. And every time, nigga, but I turned it to a hustler, that discipline of not having a number, I could turn it right here, bro. On everything I love, nigga, I could get this to a nigga.  Well, mama, why would you tell somebody that?  And that's how I know your dedication. No, that's a fact. You may learn something through this. I ain't telling you to say a dope.  You ain't got to sell that.  That got to go. Some got to come. It was the PS3. Mama, the TV, nigga. Because I had a big-ass T.I. with 40 feet.    No, it's not going on. It's the TV. I got that side. I'm telling you, hey, come through that window. See that TV?  Nigga, I got a thing in my ring. Yeah, I think it's got money, but I got a thing. Nigga, that's my spot up there. That's my spot.