Chapter 25 of The Cloyster and the Half by Charles Reade Denis caught at Gerard and somehow checked his fall, but it may be doubted whether this alone would have saved him from breaking his neck or a limb. His best friend now was the dying bear on whose hairy carcass his head and shoulders descended. Denis tore him off her. It was needless. She panted still, and her limbs quivered, but her hair was not so harmless, and soon she breathed her last, and the judicious Denis propped Gerard up against her, being soft, and fanned him. He came to by degrees, but confused, and feeling the bear around him, rolled away, yelling, Courage! cried Denis, le diable est mort! Is it dead? Quite dead! inquired Gerard from behind a tree, for his courage was feverish, and the cold fit was on him just now, and had been for some time. Behold! said Denis, and pulled the brute's ear playfully, and opened her jaws, and put in his head, with other insulting antics, in the midst of which Gerard was violently sick. Denis laughed at him. What is the matter now? said he. Also, why tumble off your perch, just when we had won the day? I swooned, I trow. But why? Not receiving an answer, he continued. Green girls faint as soon as look at you, but then they choose time and place. What woman ever fainted up a tree? She sent her nasty blood all over me. I think the smell must have overpowered me.  I do believe it potently. See what a mess she has made me! But with her blood not yours, I pity the enemy that strives to satisfy you. You need not to brag, Maitre Denis. I saw you, under the tree, the color of your shirt. Let us distinguish, said Denis, coloring. It is permitted to tremble for a friend. Gerard for answer flung his arms round Denis' neck in silence.  I love thee, little milk-sob. Go to! Good! behold him on his knees now! What new caprice is this? O Denis, ought we not to return thanks to him who has saved both our lives against such fearful odds? And Gerard kneeled and prayed aloud, and presently he found Denis kneeling quiet beside him, with his hands across his bosom after the custom of his nation, and a face as long as his arm. When they rose, Gerard's countenance was beaming. Good Denis, said he, heaven will reward thy piety. Ah! Bah! I did it out of politeness, said the Frenchman. It was to please thee, little one. C'est égal, to us well and orderly prayed and edified me to the core while it lasted. A bishop had scarce handled the matter better, so now our even song being sung, and the saints enlisted with us, Marchand. There they had taken two steps. He stopped. By the bay, the cub! Oh, no, no! cried Gerard. You are right. It is late. We have lost time climbing trees and tumbling off them and swanning and vomiting and praying, but the brute is heavy to carry, and now I think on't. We shall have papa after it next. These bears make such a coil about an odd cub. What is this? You are wounded. You are wounded. Not I. He is wounded, miserable that I am. Be calm, Denis. I am not touched. I feel no pain anywhere. You? You only feel when another is hurt, cried Denis, with great emotion, and throwing himself on his knees, he examined Gerard's leg with glistening eyes. Quick, quick, before it stiffens, he cried, and hurried him on. Who makes the coil about nothing now? inquired Gerard composedly. Denis' reply was a very indirect one. Be pleased to note, said he, that I have a bad heart.  Was not I a novice once myself? Then you fainted from a wound, and I thought you swooned for fear, and called you a milk-soap. Briefly, I have a bad tongue and a bad heart. Denis, pletil, you lie.  Air they had walked many furlongs, the muscles of the wounded leg contracted and stiffened, till presently Gerard could only just put his toe to the ground, and that with great pain. At last he could bear it no longer. Let me lie down and die, he groaned, for this is intolerable. Denis represented that it was afternoon, and the nights were now frosty, and cold and hunger ill companions, and that it would be unreasonable to lose heart, a certain great personage being notoriously defunct. So Gerard leaned upon his axe, and hobbled on, but presently he gave in, all of a sudden, and sank helpless in the road. Denis drew him aside into the wood, and to his surprise gave him his crossbow and bolts, and joining him strictly to lie quiet, and if any ill-looking fellows should find him out and come to him to bid them keep aloof.  Honest men keep the path, and knaves in a wood, none but fools do parley with them. With this he snatched up Gerard's axe and set off running, not as Gerard expected towards Dusseldorf, but on the road they had come. Gerard lay aching and smarting, and to him Rome that seemed so near at starting looked far, far off, now that he was two hundred miles nearer it. But soon all his thoughts turned seven-bergen wads. How sweet it would be one day to hold Margaret's hand and tell her all he had gone through for her. The very thought of it and her soothed him, and in the midst of pain and irritation of the nerves he lay resigned and sweetly, though faintly smiling. He had lain thus more than two hours when suddenly there were shouts, and the next moment something struck a tree hard by and quivered in it. He looked. It was an arrow. He started to his feet. Several missiles rattled among the boughs, and the wood echoed with battle cries. Whence they came he could not tell, for noises in these huge woods are so reverberated that a stranger is always at fault as to their whereabouts. But they seemed to fill the whole air. Presently there was a lull. Then he heard the fierce galloping of hoofs, and still louder shouts and cries arose, mingled with shrieks and groans, and above all strange and terrible sounds like fierce claps of thunder, bellowing loud, and then dying off in cracking echoes, and red tongues of flames shot out ever and anon among the trees, and clouds of sulfurous smoke came drifting over his head. And all was still. Gerard was struck with awe. What will become of Denny? he cried. Oh, why did you leave me? Oh, Denny, my friend, my friend! Just before sunset Denny returned, almost sinking under a hairy bundle. It was the bear's skin. Gerard welcomed him with a burst of joy that astonished him, I thought never to see you again, dear Denny, were you in the battle? No, what battle? The bloody battle of men or fiends that raged in the wood a while gone, and with this he described it to the life and more fully than I have done. Denny patted him indulgently on the back. It is well, said he, thou art a good limner, and fever is a great spur to the imagination. One day I lain a cart shed with a cracked skull, and saw two hosts maneuver and fight a good hour on eight feet square, for which I did fairly describe to my comrade in due order, only not so gorgeously as thou, for want of book-learning. What, then, you believe me not? When I tell you the arrows whizzed over my head, and the competent shouted, and may the foul fiends fly away with me if I believe a word of it. Gerard took his arm, and quietly pointed to a tree close by. Why it looks like it is a broad arrow as I live, and he went close and looked up at it. It came out of the battle, I heard it, and saw it. An English arrow. How know thou that? Marry by its length. The English bowman draw the bow to the ear, others only to the right breast. Hence the English looser three-foot shaft, and this is one of them, perdition sees them. Well, if this is not glamour, there has been a trifle of a battle. And if there's been a battle in so ridiculous a place for a battle as this, why, then, tis no business of mine, for my duke hath no quarrel hereabouts. So let's to bed, said the professional. And with this he scraped together a heap of leaves, and made Gerard lie on it, his axe by his side. He then lay down beside him, with one hand on his arbalest, and drew the bears gain over them, hair inward. They were soon as warm as toast and fast asleep. But long before the dawn Gerard woke his comrade. What shall I do, Denny? I die of famine. Do? Why, go to sleep again incontinent. Qui d'ordine. But I tell you, I'm too hungry to sleep, snapped Gerard. Let us march, then, replied Denny, with paternal indulgence. He had a brief paroxysm of yawns, then made a small bundle of bears' ears, rolling them up in a strip of the skin, cut for the purpose, and it took to the road. Gerard leaned on his axe, and propped by Denny on the other side, hobbled along, not without size.  Therein you show judgment, replied Papa smoothly. It was a clear starlight night, and soon the moon rising revealed the end of the wood at no great distance. A pleasant sight, since Dusseldorf they knew, was but a short league further. At the edge of the wood they came upon something so mysterious that they stopped to gaze at it before going up to it. Two white pillars rose in the air, distant a few paces from each other, and between them stood many figures that looked like human forms. I go no farther till I know what this is, said Gerard in an agitated whisper. Are they effigies of the saints, for men to pray to on the road, or live robbers waiting to shoot down honest travellers? Nay, living men they cannot be, for they stand on nothing that I see. Oh, Denny, let us turn back till daybreak. This is no mortal sight. Denny halted, and peered long and keenly. They are men, said he at last. Gerard was for turning back all the more, but men that will never hurt us nor we them look not to their feet, for that they stand on. Where, then, is the name of all the saints? Look over their heads, said Denny gravely. Following this direction, Gerard presently discerned the outline of a dark wooden beam passing from pillar to pillar, and as the pair got nearer, walking now on tiptoe, one by one, dark snake-like cords came out in the moonlight, each pendant from the beam to a dead man, and tight as wire. Now as they came under this awful monument of crime and wholesale vengeance, a light air swept by, and several of the corpses swung or gently gyrated, and every rope creaked. Gerard shuddered at this ghastly salute, so thoroughly had the gibbet with its sickening load seized and held their eyes, that it was but now they perceived a fire right underneath, and a living figure sitting huddled over it. His axe lay beside him, the bright blade shining red in the glow. He was asleep. Gerard started, but Denny only whispered, Courage, comrade, here is a fire. Aye, but there's a man at it. There will soon be three, and he began to heap some wood on it that the watcher had prepared, during which the prudent Gerard seized the man's axe, and sat down tight on it, grasping his own, and examining the sleeper. There was nothing outwardly distinctive in the man. He wore the dress of the country folk, and the heart of the district, a three-cornered heart, called a Brunswicker, stiff enough to turn a sword cut, and with a thick brass hat bound. The weight of the whole thing had turned his ears entirely down like a fancy rabbit's in our century, but even this, though it spoiled him as a man, was nothing remarkable. They had of late met scores of these dog's-ear rustics. The peculiarity was this clown watching under a laden gallows. What for? Denny, if he felt curious, would not show it. He took out two bears' ears from his bundle, and running sticks through them began to toast them. Twill be eating coined money, said he, for the burger master of Düsseldorf had given us a rick's-dollar for these ears, as proving the death of their owners. But better a lean purse than a lear stomach. On happy man, cried Gerard, could you eat food here? Where the fire is lighted there must the meat roast, and where it roasts there must it be eaten, for naught travels worse than your roasted meat. Well, eat thou, Denny, and thou canst, but I am cold and sick. There is no room for hunger in my heart after what mine eyes have seen. That he shuddered over the fire. Oh, how they creak! And who is this man, I wonder? What an ill-favoured churl! Denny examined him like a connoisseur looking at a picture, and in due course delivered judgment. I take him to be of the refuse of that company, whereof these, pointing carelessly upward, were the cream, and so ran their heads into danger. At that rate, why not stun him before he wakes? And Gerard fidgeted where he sat. Denny opened his eyes with humorous surprise. For one who sets up for a milk-soap, you have the readiest hand. Why should two stun one? Tush! He wakes, note now what he says at waking, and tell me. These last words were hardly whispered when the watcher opened his eyes. At the sight of the fire made up and two strangers eyeing him keenly, he stared, and there was a severe and pretty successful effort to be calm. Still a perceptible tremor ran all over him. Soon he manned himself and said gruffly, Good Morrow! But at the very moment of saying it, he missed his axe, and saw how Gerard was sitting upon it, with his own, laid ready to his hand. He lost countenance again directly. Denny smiled grimly at this bit of bi-play. Good Morrow! said Gerard quietly, keeping his eye on him. The watcher was now too ill at ease to be silent. You make free with by fire, said he, but he added in a somewhat faltering voice. You are welcome. Denny whispered Gerard. The watcher eyed them ascant. A comrade says, Sith we share your fire, you shall share his meat. So be it, said the man warmly, I have half a kid hanging on a bush hard by, I'll go fetch it. And he arose with a cheerful and obliged countenance, and was retiring. Denny caught up his crossbow and levelled it at his head. The man fell on his knees. Denny lowered his weapon and pointed him back to his place.  Sit down, friend, said Denny grimly in French. The man obeyed finger and tone, though he knew not a word of French. Tell him the fire is not big enough for more than thee, he will take my meaning. This being communicated by Gerard, the man grinned. Ever since Denny spoke he had seemed greatly relieved. I wished not you were strangers, said he to Gerard. Denny cut a piece of bear's ear, and offered it with grace to him he had just levelled crossbow out. He took it calmly, and drew a piece of bread from his wallet, and divided it with the pear. Nay more he winked, and thrust his hand into the heap of leaves he sat on.  He put it to his mouth and drank their healths, then handed it to Gerard. He passed it untouched to Denny. More de ma vie, cried the soldier, it is rainish wine, and fit for the gullet of an archbishop. Here's to thee, thou prince of good fellows, wishing thee a short life and a merry one. Come, Gerard, s'up, s'up, sure, never heed the man. They heed not thee? Nevertheless did I hang over such a skin of rainish as this, and three churls sat beneath the drinking-it, and offered me not a drop. I'd soon be down among them. Denny, Denny! My spirit would cut the cold, and wump would come my body amongst ye, with a hand on the bottle, and one eye winking tother. Gerard started up with a cry of horror, and his fingers to his ears, and was running from the place when his eye fell on the watcher's axe. The tangible danger brought him back. He sat down again on the axe with his fingers in his ears. Courage, l'ami, le diable est mort, shouted Denny Gaely, and offered him a piece of bear's ear, put it right under his nose as he stopped his ears.  Wine, he gasped, heaven knows I have much need of it, with such companions as thee, and— he took a long draught of the rainish wine. It ran glowing through his veins, and warmed and strengthened his heart, but could not check his tremors whenever a gust of wind came. As for Denny and the other, they feasted recklessly, and plied the bottle unceasingly, and drank healths, and caroused beneath that creaking sepulchre, and its ghastly tenants.  On this question being interpreted to the watcher, he replied that treason had been their end, diabolical treason and priestcraft. He then, being rendered communicative by drink, delivered a long, prosy narrative, the purport of which was as follows. These honest gentlemen, who now dangled here so miserably, were all stout men and true, and lived in the forest by their way. Their independence and thriving state excited the jealousy and hatred of a large portion of mankind, and many attempts were made on their lives and liberties. These the Virgin and their patron saints, coupled with their individual skill and courage, constantly baffled. But yes to Eve a party of merchants came slowly on their mules from Dusseldorf. The honest men saw them crawling, and let them penetrate near a league into the forest, then set upon them to make them discourage a portion of their ill-gotten gains. But alas the merchants were no merchants at all, but soldiers of more than one nation in the pay of the Archbishop of Cologne. Hobbeshons had they beneath their gowns, and weapons of all sorts at hand. Nonetheless the honest men fought stoutly, and pressed the traitors hard, when low horsemen that had been planted in ambush many hours before, galloped up, and with these new diabolical engines of war, shot leaden bullets, and laid many an honest fellow low, and so quelled the courage of others that they yielded their lives. These being taken red-handed, the victors, who with malice inconceivable had brought cords knotted round their waists, did speedily hang, and by their side the dead ones, to make the gallanter show. That one at the end was the captain. He never felt the cord. He was riddled with broad arrows and leaden balls, or ever they could take him. A worthy man as ever was the captain. A worthy man as ever cried standard deliver. But a little hasty, not much. Stay, I forgot, he is dead. Very hasty, and obstinate as a pig. That one in the buff jerkin is the lieutenant. As good a soul as ever lived. He was hanged alive. This one here, I could never abide. No, not that one. That is Conrad, my bosom friend. I mean, this one right overhead in the chicken-toed schoon. You were always carrying tails, your thief, and making mischief. You know you were. And, sirs, I am a man that would rather live united in a coppice than in a forest with back-biters and tail-bearers. Strangers, I drink to you. And so he went down the whole string, indicating with the neck of the bottle, like a showman with his pole, and giving a neat description of each. Which, though pithy, was invariably false, for the showman had no real eye for character, and had misunderstood every one of these people. Enough, beloved, cried Denis, Marchand, give me his axe. Now tell him he must help you along. The man's countenance fell, but he saw in Denis's eye that resistance would be dangerous. He submitted. Gerard it was who objected. He said, y pensez-vous? To put my hand on a thief it maketh my flesh creep. Childishness, all trades must live, besides I have my reasons. Be not you wiser than your elder. No, only if I am to lean on him I must have my hand in my bosom still grasping the haft of my knife. It is a new attitude to walk in, but please thyself. And in that strange and mixed attitude of tender officers and deadly suspicion, the trio did walk. I wish I could draw them. I would not trust to the pen. The light of the watchtower at Dusseldorf was visible as soon as they cleared the wood, and cheered Gerard. When, after an hour's march, the black outline of the tower itself and other buildings stood out clear to the eye, their companion halted and said gloomily, You may as well slay me out of hand as take me any nearer the gates of Dusseldorf town. On this being communicated to Denis, he said at once, Let him go then, for in sooth his neck will be in jeopardy if he wends much further with us. Gerard acquiesced as a matter of course. His horror of a criminal did not in the least dispose him to active cooperation with the law, but the fact is that at this epoch no private citizen in any part of Europe ever meddled with criminals but in self-defense, except by the by in England which, behind other nations in some things, was centuries before them all in this. The man's personal liberty being restored, he asked for his axe. It was given him. To the friend's surprise, he still lingered. Was he to have nothing for coming so far out of his way with them? Here are two bats and friend. Add the wine. The good rainish. Did you give out for it? Aye, the peril of my life! Hmm, what say you, Denis? I say it was worth its weight in gold. Here, lad, here be silver-grotion, one for every acorn on that gallows tree, and here is one more for thee who will doubtless be there in due season. The man took the coins, but still lingered. Well, what now? cried Gerard, who thought him shamefully overpaid already. Does't seek the height of our bones? Nay, good sirs, but you have seen tonight how parlous a life is mine. Ye be true men, and your prayers avail. Give me, then, a small trifle of a prayer, and please you, for I know not one. Gerard's collar began to rise at the egotistical rogue. Moreover, ever since his wound, he had felt gusts of irritability. However, he bit his lip and said, There go two words to that bargain. Tell me first, is it true what men say of you rainish thieves, that ye do murder innocent and unresisting travellers, as well as rob them? The other answered sulkily. There you call thieves are not to blame for that. The fault lies with the law. Grammercy! So it is the law's fault that ill men break it. I mean not so, but the law in this land slays an honest man, and if he do but steal, what follows? He would be pitiful, but is discouraged here from. Pity gains him no pity. And doubles his peril. And he but cut a purse, his life is four feet. Therefore cuteth he the throat to boot, to save his own neck. Dead man tell no tales.  Were there less of this unreasonable gibbeting on the high road, there should be less enforced cutting of throats in dark woods, my masters. Fewer words had served, replied Gerard coldly. I asked a question, I am answered. And suddenly doffing his bonnet. Propublica salute in honorem justi dei qui sit gloria, in eternum. Amen. And so good day. The greedy outlaw was satisfied at last. That is Latin, he muttered, and more than I bargained for. So indeed it was. And he returned to his business with a mind at ease. The friends pondered in silence the many events of the last few hours. At last Gerard said thoughtfully, That she bear saved both our lives by God's will. Like enough, replied Denis, and talking of that, it was lucky we did not dawdle over our supper. What mean you? I mean, they are not all hanged. I saw a refuse of seven or eight as black as ink around our fire. When? When? There we had left it five minutes. Good heavens, and you said not a word. It would but have worried you, and had set our friend a looking back, and mayhub tempted him to get his skull split. All other danger was over. They could not see us. We were out of the moonshine, and indeed we were out of the moon-shine. Just turning a corner. Ah, there is the sun, and here are the gates of Dusseldorf. Courage, la mie, le diable est mort. My head, my head, was all poor Gerard could reply. So many shocks, emotions, perils, horrors, added to the wound, his first had tried his youthful body and sensitive nature too severely. It was noon of the same day. In the bedroom of the silver lion, the rugged dinny sat anxious, watching his young friend, and he lay raging with fever, delirious at intervals, and one word forever on his lips. Margaret! Margaret! Margaret! End of Chapter 25. Recording by Tom Denham Chapter 26. Of The Cloister and the Hearth by Charles Reed This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Tom Denham It was the afternoon of the next day. Gerard was no longer light-headed, but very irritable and full of fancies, and in one of these he begged Denny to get him a lemon to suck. Denny, who from a rough soldier had been turned by tender friendship into a kind of grandfather, got up hastily and bidding him set his mind at ease. Lemons he should have in the twinkling of a quart pot went and ransacked the shops for them. They were not so common in the north as they are now, and he was absent a long while, and Gerard getting very impatient when at last the door opened. But it was not Denny. Entered softly, an imposing figure, an old gentleman in a long sober gown trimmed with rich fur, cherry-coloured hose, and pointed shoes, with a sword by his side in a Morocco scabbard, a rough around his neck not only starched severely but treacherously stiffened in furrows by robatos, or a little hidden framework of wood, and on his head a four-cornered cap with a fur border, on his chin and bosom a majestic white beard. Gerard was in no doubt as the vocation of his visitor, for the sword accepted this was familiar to him as the full dress of a physician. Moreover, a boy followed at his heels with a basket, where files, lint, and surgical tools rather courted than shunned observation. The old gentleman came softly to the bedside and said mildly, and sotto voce, How is it with thee, my son?  A wound, they told me not of that. Let me see it. I eye a good clean bite, the mastiff had sound teeth that took this out, I warrant me, and the good doctor's sympathy seemed to run off to the quadruped he had conjured, his jackal. This must be quarterised forthwith, or we shall have you starting back from water and turning somersaults in bed under your hands. Tis the year for raving curse, and one hath done your business, but we will baffle him yet. Urchin, go heat up thine iron. But sir, edged in Gerard, to us no dog, but a bear. A bear, young man, remonstrated the senior severely, think what you say. Tis ill-gesting with the man of art who brings his grey hairs and long study to heal you. A bear, quother? Had you dissected as many bears as I or the tithe and drawn their teeth to keep your hand in, you would know that no bear's jaw ever made this foolish trifling wound. I tell you, it was a dog, and since you put me to it, I even deny that it was a dog of magnitude, but neither more nor less than one of these little furious curves that are so rife and run devious, biting each manly leg, and laying its wearer low, but for me and my learned brethren who still stay the mischief with knife and coterie. Alas, sir, when said I, it was a bear's jaw. I said a bear. It was his paw now. And why did not tell me that at once?  Never conceal ought from your leech, young man, continued the senior, who was a good talker, but one of the worst listeners in Europe. Well, it is an ill business, all the horny excrescences of animals, to wit claws of tigers, panthers, budgers, cats, bears, and the like, and horn of deer, and nails of humans, especially children, or imbued with direst poison. It had better have been bitten by a kerb, whatever you may say, than gored by bull or stag, or scratched by bear. However, shall have a good biting cataplasm for thy leg. Meantime, keep we the body cool. Put out thy tongue. Good, fever! Let me feel thy pulse. Good, fever! I ordain flabotomy, and on the instant. Flabotomy? That is bloodletting. Well, no matter. If it is sure to cure me, for I will not lie idle here. The doctor let him know that flabotomy was infallible, especially in this case. Huts, go fetch the things needful, and I will entertain the patient, meantime, with reasons. The man of art then explained to Gerard that in disease the blood becomes hot and distempered, and more or less poisonous, but a portion of this unhealthy liquid removed, nature is feigned to create a purer fluid to fill its place. Bleeding, therefore, being both a cooler and a purifier, was a specific in all diseases. For all diseases were febrile whatever empirics might say. But think not, said he warmly, that it suffices to bleed. Any paltry barber can open a vein, though not all can close it again. The art is to know what vein to empty for what disease. To the day they brought me one tormented with ear-rick, I let him blood in the right thigh, and away flew his ear-rick. By the by he has died since then. Another came with the toothache. I bled him behind the ear, and relieved him in a jiff. He is also since dead as it happens. I bled our bailiff between the thumb and forefinger for rheumatism. Presently he comes to me with a headache and drumming in the ears, and holds out his hand over the basin, but I smiled at his folly, and bled him in the left ankle sore against his will, and made his head as light as a nut. Diverging, then, from the immediate theme after the manner of enthusiasts, the reverent teacher proceeded thus. No young man, that two schools of art contended this moment throughout Europe. The Arabian, whose ancient oracles are Avicenna, Rasees, Albuchasis, and its revivers are Koliak and Lanfrank, and the Greek school, whose modern champions are Bessarion, Platinus, and Marsilius Ficinus, but whose pristine doctors were medicines very oracles, Fibus, Chiron, Esculapius, and his sons Podelinus and Machaeon, Pythagoras, Democritus, Praxagoras, who invented the arteries, and Dioctes, Cheprimus, Uranii, Animum, Dedit. All these taught orally. Then came Hippocrates, the eighteenth from Esculapius, and of him we have manuscripts. To him we owe the vital principle. He also invented the bandage, and tapped for water on the chest, and above all he dissected. Yet only quadrupeds, for the brutal prejudices of the pagan vulgar, withheld the human body from the knife of science. Him followed Aristotle, who gave us the aorta, the largest blood vessel in the human body. Surely, sir, the Almighty gave us all that is in our bodies, and not Aristotle, nor any Grecian man, objected Gerard Humbly. Child, of course he gave us the thing, but Aristotle did more. He gave us the name of the thing, but young men will still be talking. The next great light was Galen. He studied at Alexandria, then the home of science. He justly malcontent with quadrupeds, dissected apes, as coming nearer to man, and bled like a Trojan. Then came Theophilus, who gave us the nerves, the lactial vessels, and the pier-mata. This worried Gerard. I cannot lie still, and here it said that mortal man bestowed the parts which Adam our father took from him, who made him of the clay, and us his sons. Was ever such perversity, said the doctor, his color rising, who is the real donor of a thing to man? He who plants it secretly in the dark recesses of man's body, or the learned white, who reveals it to his intelligence, and so enriches his mind with the knowledge of it. Comprehension is your only true possession. Are you answered? I am put to silence, sir. And that is better still, for guerrillas patients are ill to cure, especially in fever. I say, then, that Aristratus gave us the cerebral nerves and the milk vessels. Nay more, he was the inventor of lithotomy, whatever you may say. Then came another whom I forget. You do somewhat perturb me with your petty exceptions. Then came Amonius, the author of lithotrity. And here comes Hans, with the basin, to stay your volubility. Blow thy chaffer, boy, and hand me the basin. Tis well. Arabians quother! What are they but a sect of yesterday, who, about the year 1000, did fall in with the writings of those very Greeks, and read them awry, having no concurrent light of their own? For their demigod and camel-driver mahund, imposter in science as in religion, had strictly forbidden them anatomy, even of the lower animals, for which he who severeth from medicine. Tolit solemn emundo, as toly quoth. Nay, wonder not at my fervour, good youth, where the general wheel stands in jeopardy, a little warmth is civic, humane, and honourable. Now there is settled of late in this town a pestilent arabist, a mere empiric, who, despising anatomy and scarce knowing Greek from Hebrew, hath yet spirited away half my patience, and I tremble for the rest. Put forth, thine uncle, than thou, Hans, breathe on the chaffer. Whilst matters were in this posture, in came Denis with the lemons, and stood surprised. What sport is toward? he said, raising his brows. Gerard coloured a little, and told him the learned doctor was going to phlebotomise him, and cauterise him. That was all. I indeed, and yawn him, what bloweth he hot coals for? What should it be for? said the doctor to Gerard, but to cauterise the vein when opened, and the poisonous blood let free? It is the only safe way. Avicenna indeed recommends a ligature of the vein. But howt is to be done, he saith not, nor knew he himself, I won't, nor any of the spawn of Ishmael. For me I have no faith in such tricksy expedience, and take this with you for a safe principle. Whatever an Arab or Arabist says is right, must be wrong. Oh, I see now what is for, said Denis, and art thou so simple as to let him put hot iron to thy living flesh? Didst ever keep thy little finger but ten moments in a candle? And this will be as many minutes. Art not content to burn in purgatory after thy death must have needs by a foretaste, aren't ye? I never thought of that, said Gerard gravely. The good doctor spake not of burning, but of quartery. To be sure it is all one, but quartery sounds not so fearful as burning. Imbasil, that is their art, to confound a plain man with dark words, till his hissing flesh lets him know their meaning. Now listen to what I have seen. When a soldier bleeds from a wound in battle, these leeches say, fever, blood him! And so they burn the wick at Totheren, too. They bleed the bled. Now at fever's heels comes desperate weakness. Then the man needs all his blood to live, but these prickers and burners, having no forethought, wrecking nought of what is sure to come in a few hours, and seeing like brute-beasts only what is under their noses, having meantime robbed him of the very blood his hurt had spared him, to battle that weakness with all, and so he dies exhausted. Hundreds I have seen so scratched and pricked out of the world, Gerard, and tall fellows, too, but lo! if they have the luck to be wounded where no doctor can be had, then they live! This too I have seen. Had I ever outlived that field in Brabant, but for my most lucky mischance, lack of chirurgery, the frost choked all my bleeding wounds, and so I lived. The chirurgian had pricked yet one more hole in this my body with his lance, and drained my last drop-out and my spirit with it. Seeing them thus distraught in bleeding of the bleeding soldier, I place no trust in them, for what sleighs of veteran may well lay a milk and water bourgeois lo! This sounds like common sense, sighed Gerard languidly, but no need to raise your voice so. I was not born deaf, and just now I hear acutely. Common sense? Very common sense indeed, shouted the bad listener.   Much obliged, said Denis, with mock politeness, but I am a true man, and would rob no man of his name. I do somewhat in the way of blood, but not worth mentioning this presence. For one I slay, you slay a score, and for one spoonful of blood I draw, you spill a tubful. The world is still gull'd by shows. We soldiers vapor with long swords, and even in war beget two foes for every one we kill, but you smooth gownsmen, with soft phrases and bare bodkins, tis you that thin man kind.  No doctor, nor for bawling, said the patient, peevishly. Come, young man, said the senior kindly, be reasonable. Quilibet insuarte credendum est. My whole life has been given to this art. I studied at Montpellier, the first school in France and by consequence in Europe. There learned I Dreremansi, Scatomansi, Pathology, Therapeutes, and greater than them all, Anatomy. For there we disciples of Hippocrates and Galen had opportunities those great ancients never knew. Good-bye quadrupeds and apes, and paganism, and mohammedanism. We bought of the church wardens, we shook the gallows, we undid the sexton's work or dark nights, penetrated with love of science and our kind. All the authorities had their orders from Paris to wink, and they winked. God's of Olympus, how they winked! The gracious king assisted us. He sent us twice a year, a living criminal, condemned to die, and said, Deal you with him, as science asks. Dissect him alive, if you think fit. By the liver of Herod and Nero's bowels, he'll make me blush for the land that bore me, and if he praises it any more, shouted Denis at the top of his voice.  Denis summoned a contrite look. Tosh, slight man, said the doctor with calm contempt, and vibrated a hand over him as in this age men make a pointer dog down charge, then flowed majestic on. We seldom or never dissected the living criminal, except in part. We mostly inoculated them with such diseases as the barren time afforded, selecting, of course, the more interesting ones. That means the foulest, whispered Denis Meakly. These we watched through all their stages to maturity, meaning the death of the poor rogue, whispered Denis Meakly.  That is, cried Denis impatiently, will you believe what a jack-doe in a long gown has heard from a starling in a long gown? Who heard it from a jay-pipe? Who heard it from a magpie? Who heard it from a pop-in-jay? Or will you believe what I, a man with naught to gain by looking all right, nor speaking false, have seen? Not heard with the ears which are given to gullas, but seen with these sentinels, mine I, seen, seen, to wit, that fevered and blooded men die, that fevered men not blooded live? Stay, who sent for this sans-sues, did you? Not I, I thought you had. No, explained the doctor. The good landlord told me one was down in this house, so I teched to myself, a stranger, and in need of my art, and came incontinently. It was the act of a good Christian, sir. Of a good bloodhound, cried Denis contemptuously, What art thou so green as not to know that all these landlords are in league with certain of their fellow-citizens who pay them toll on each booty? Whatever you pay this ancient for stealing your life-blood, of that the landlord takes his third for betraying you to him. Nay, more? As soon as ever your blood goes down the stair in that basin there, the landlord will see it, or smell it, and send swiftly to his undertaker, and get his third out of that job. For if he waited till the doctor got downstairs, the doctor would be beforehand, and bespeak his undertaker, and then he would get the black thirds. Say, I sooth, old rouge et noir, git! Denis, Denis, who taught you to think so ill of man? Mine eyes that are not to be gulled by what men say, seeing this many a year what they do in all the lands I travel. The doctor with some address made use of these last words to escape the personal question. I too have eyes as well as thou, and go not by tradition only, but by what I have seen, but not only seen, but done. I have healed as many men by bleeding as that interloping arabist has killed for want of it. To us but to the day I healed one threatened with leprosy. I but bled him at the tip of the nose. I cured last year a quart and ague, how? Bled its forefinger. Our curel lost his memory. I brought it him back on the point of my lance. I bled him behind the ear. I bled a dolt of a boy, and now he is the only one who can tell his right hand from his left in a whole family of idiots. When the plague was here years ago, no shamplagues such as empirics proclaim every six years or so, but the good honest Byzantine pest. I bled an alderman freely, and quarterized the symptomatic boobos, and so pulled him out of the grave. Whereas our then Chirujian, a most pernicious arabist, caught it himself, and died of it, calling on Razi's Avicenna and Mahound, who could they have come had all perished as miserably as himself?  But German soldiers mock at since ever archibuses came and put them down.  The arbalest is shouldered by taller men than ever stood in rainish hose, and even now it kills as many more than your noisy stinking archibus, as the Lancet does than all our toys together. Go to! He was no fool who first called you leeches. Sans sou, va! Gerard groaned. By the holy virgin I wish you were both at Jericho bellowing. Thank you, comrade, and I'll bark no more, but at need I'll bite. If he has a lance, I have a sword. If he bleeds you, I'll bleed him. The moment his lance pricks your skin, little one, my sword-hilt knocks against his ribs. I have said it. And Denis turned pale, folded his arms, and looked gloomy and dangerous. Gerard sighed wearily. Now, as all this is about me, give me leave to say a word. I let the young man choose life or death for himself. Gerard then indirectly rebuked his noisy counsellors by contrast and example. He spoke with unparalleled calmness, sweetness, and gentleness. And these were the words of Gerard, the son of Eli. I doubt not you both mean me well, but you assassinate me between you. Calmness and quiet are everything to me, but you are like two dogs growling over a bone. And in sooth bone I should be did this uproar last long. There was a dead silence, broken only by the silvery voice of Gerard, as he lay tranquil, and gazed calmly at the ceiling, and trickled into words. First venerable sir, I thank you for coming to see me, whether from humanity or in the way of honest gain, all trades must live. Your learning reverence, sir, seems great, to me at least, and for your experience your age voucheth it. You say you have bled many, and of these many many have not died thereafter but lived and done well. I must needs believe you." The physician bowed. Denis grunted. Others, you say, you have bled, and they are dead. I must needs believe you. Denis knows few things compared with you, but he knows them well. He is a man not given to conjecture. This I myself have noted. He says he has seen the fevered and blooded for the most part die. The fevered and not blooded live. I must needs believe him. Here, then, all is doubt. But this much is certain. If I be bled, I must pay you a fee, and be burnt and excruciated with a hot iron, who am no felon. Pay a certain price, in money and anguish, for a doubtful remedy, that I will never.  But to see men cannot argue medicine without heat and raised voices. Therefore, sir, I will essay a little sleep, and Denis will go forth and gaze on the females of the place, and I will keep you no longer from those who can afford to lay out blood and money in phlebotomy and cortery. The old physician had naturally a hot temper. He had often, during this battle of words, mastered it with difficulty, and now it mastered him. The most dignified course was silence. He saw this, and drew himself up, and made loftily for the door closely followed by his little boy and big basket. But at the door he choked, he swelled, he burst. He whirled and came back open mouth, and the little boy and big basket had to whisk semicircularly, not to be run down, for de minimis non curate medicina, even when not in a rage.   But on reaching the door he whirled and came back, his wicker tail whirling round after him like a cat. In twelve hours at furthest you will be in the secondary stage of fever.  Then sent for me, and I'll not come. He departed. But at the door handle, gathered fury, whirled and came flying with pale, terror-stricken boy, and wicker tail whisking after him. Next will come crumps of the stomach, aha. Then bilious vomit, aha. Then cold sweat, and deadly stupor.  And after that nothing can save you, not even I, and if I could I would not, and so farewell. Even Denis changed colour at threat so fervent and precise. But Gerard only gnashed his teeth with rage at the noise, and seized his hard bolster with kindling eye. This added fuel to the fire and brought the insulted ancient back from the impassable door with his whisking-train. And after that madness, and after that black vomit. And then convulsions, and then that cessation of all vital functions, the vulgar call death, for which thank your own satanic folly and insolence. Farewell. He went. He came. He roared. And think not to be buried in any Christian churchyard, for the bailiff is my good friend. And I shall tell him how and why you died. Farewell. Gerard sprang to his feet on the bed by some supernatural gymnastic power, excitement lent him.  For as he came, with his whisking-train, and shaking his fist, Gerard hurled the bolster furiously in his face, and knocked him down like a shot. The boy's head cracked under his falling masters, and crush went the dumb-stricken orator into the basket, and there sat wedged in an inverted angle, crushing file after file. The boy, being light, was strewed afar, but in a squatting posture, so that they sat in a sequence, like graduated specimens, the smaller howling. But soon the doctor's face filled with horror, and he uttered a far louder and unearthly screech, and kicked and struggled with wonderful agility for one of his age. He was sitting on the hot coals. They had singed the cloth, and were now biting the man. Struggling wildly but vainly to get out of the basket, he rolled, yelling over with it, sideways, and low, a great hissing. Then the humane Gerard ran and wrenched off the tight basket, not without a struggle. The doctor lay on his face groaning, handsomely singed with his own chaffer, and slaked a moment too late by his own villainous compounds, which, however, being as various and even beautiful in colour as they were odious in taste, had strangely diversified his grey robe, and painted it more gaudy than neat. Gerard and Denis raised him up and consoled him. Courage, man, tis but quartery, balm of Gilead, why you recommended it, but now to my comrade here. The physician replied only by a look of concentrated spite, and went out in dead silence, thrusting his stomach forth before him in the drolest way. The boy followed him next moment, but in that slight interval he left off whining, burst into a grin, and conveyed to the culprits by an unrefined gesture his accurate comprehension of, and rapturous though compressed joy at his master's disaster. End of Chapter 26. Recording by Tom Denham. Chapter 27 of The Cloister and the Half by Charles Reed. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Tom Denham. The worthy physician went home and told his housekeeper he was in agony from a bad burn. Those were the words. For in flogistic as in other things we quarterize our neighbor's digits, but burn our own fingers. His housekeeper replied some old woman's remedy mild as milk. He submitted like a lamb to her experience, his sole object in the case of this patient being cure. Meantime he made out his bill for broken files, and took measures to have the travellers imprisoned at once. He made oath before a magistrate that they, being strangers and indebted to him, meditated instant flight from the township. Alas! it was his unlucky day. His sincere desire and honest endeavour to purger himself were baffled by a circumstance he had never foreseen nor indeed thought possible. He had spoken the truth, and in an affidavit. The officers on reaching the Silver Lion found the birds were flown. They went down to the river, and from intelligence they received there started up the bank in hot pursuit. This temporary escape the friends owed to Denise's good sense and observation. After a peel of laughter, that it was cordial to hear, and after venting his watchword three times, he turned short grave, and told Gerard Düsseldorf was no place for them. That old fellow said he went off unnaturally silent for such a babbler. We are strangers here. The bailiff is his friend. In five minutes we shall lie in a dungeon for assaulting a Düsseldorf dignity. Are you strong enough to hobble to the water's edge? It is hard by. Once there you have but to lie down in a boat instead of a bed. And what is the odds? The odds, Denis, untold, and all in favour of the boat. I pine for Rome, for Rome is my road to Sevenbergen. And then we shall lie in the boat to put on the Rhine, the famous Rhine, the cool refreshing Rhine. I feel its breezes coming. The very sight will cure a little hop of my thumb fever like mine. Away! Away! Finding his excitable friend in this mood, Denis settled hastily with the landlord, and they hurried to the river. On inquiry they found to their dismay that the public boat was gone this half hour, and no other would start that day, being afternoon. By dint, however, of asking a great many questions and collecting a crowd, they obtained an offer of a private boat from an old man and his two sons. This was duly ridiculed by a bystander. The current is too strong for three oars. Then my comrade and I will help row, said the invalid. No need, said the old man. Bless your silly heart. He owns Totherboat. There was a powerful breeze right astern. The boatmen set a broad stale, and rowing also went off at a spanking rate. Are you better, lad, for the river breeze? Much better. But indeed the doctor did me good. The doctor? Why, you would none of his cures. No, but I mean you will say I am not, but knocking the old fool down, but somehow it soothed me. Amiable dove, how thy little character opens more and more every day like a rolls-bud! I read thee all wrong at first. Nay, to thee mistake me not, neither. I trust I had borne with his idle threats, though in sooth his voice went through my poor ears. But he was an infertile or next-door to one, and such I have been taught to abhor. Did he not as good as say we owed our inward parts to men with long Greek names, and not to him whose name is but a syllable, but whose hand is over all the earth? Pagan. So you knocked him down forthwith, like a good Christian. Now, Denis, you will still be jesting. Take not an ill man's part. Had it been a thunderbolt from heaven he had met but his due? Yet he took but a sorry bolster from this weak arm. What weak arm! inquired Denis with twinkling eyes. I have lived among arms, and by Samson's hairy pow never saw one more like a catapult. The bolster wrapped round his nose and the two ends kissed behind his head, and his forehead resounded, and had he been Goliath or Julius Caesar, instead of an old quacksalver down he had gone. Saint Denis guard me from such feeble opposites as thou, and above all from their weak arms thou diabolical young hypocrite. The river took many turns, and this sometimes brought the wind on their side, instead of right a stern. Then they all moved to the weather-side to prevent the boat healing over too much. All but a child of about five years old, the grandson of the boatman, and his darling. This urchin had slipped on board at the moment of starting, and being too light to affect the boat's trim was above, or rather below, the laws of navigation. They sailed merrily on, little conscious that they were pursued by a whole posse of constables armed with the bailiff's writ, and that their pursuers were coming up with them, for if the wind was strong, so was the current. And now Gerard suddenly remembered that this was a very good way to roam, but not to burgundy. Oh Denis! said he, with an almost alarmed look. This is not your road. I know it, said Denis quietly, but what can I do? I cannot leave thee till the fever leaves thee, and it is on thee still for thou art both red and white by turns. I have watched thee. I must ene go on to Cologne, I doubt, and then strike across. Thank heaven, said Gerard joyfully. He added eagerly, with a little touch of self-deception, toer a sin to be so near Cologne and not see it. Oh man, it is a vast and ancient city, such as I have often dreamed of, but ne had the good luck to see. Me miserable? By what hard fortune do I come to it now? Well then, Denis, continued the young man less warmly, it is old enough to have been founded by a Roman lady in the first century of grace, and sacked by a tiller, the barbarous, and afterwards so defaced by the Norman Lothair, and it has a church for every week in the year, for by chapels and churches innumerable of convents and nunneries, and above all the stupendous minster yet unfinished, and therein, but in their own chapel lie the three kings that brought gifts to our lord, Melchior gold, and Gaspar frankincense, and Balthasar the black king, he brought meur, and over their bones stands the shrine, the wonder of the world, it is of ever shining brass brighter than gold, studded with images fairly wrought, and inlaid with exquisite devices, and brave with colours, and two broad stripes run to and fro of jewels so great, so rare, each might adorn a crown or ransom its wearer at need, and upon it stand the three kings, curiously counterfeited, two in solid silver, richly gilt, these be bareheaded, but he of Ethiop Ebony, and beareth a golden crown, and in the midst our blessed lady in virgin silver, with Christ in her arms, and at the corners in golden branches, four goodly wax and tapers do burn night and day, holy eyes have watched and renewed that like unceasingly for ages, and holy eyes shall watch them in secular, I tell thee, Deni, the oldest song, the oldest Flemish or German legend found them burning, and they shall light the earth to its grave, and there is St. Ursus church, a British saint, where lie her bones, and all the other virgins her fellows, eleven thousand were there who died for the faith, being put to the sword by barbarous moors on the 23rd day of October 238, their bones are piled in the vaults, and many of their skulls are in the church, St. Ursus is in a thin golden case, and stands on the high altar, but shown to humble Christians only on solemn days. Eleven thousand virgins, cried Deni, what babies German men must have been in days of yore. Well, would all their bones might turn flesh again, and their skulls sweetfaces, as we pass through the gates? Tis odds, but some of them are wearied of their estate by this time. Tosh Deni, said Gerard, why wilt thou, being good, still make thyself seem evil? If thy wishing cap be on, pray that we may meet the meanest shee of all those wise virgins in the next world, and to that end let us reverence their holy dust in this one.  O peremptory king, and pig-headed Maccabees, I had eaten bacon with my pork lever than changed places at the fire with my meat. What scurvy words are these? It was their faith. Nay, bridle thy collar, and tell me, are there not but churches in this thyself-vaunted city, for I affect rather Sir Knight rather than Sir Priest? Aye, Murray, there is a university near a hundred years old, and there is a marketplace no fairer in the world, and at the foresight of it houses greatest palaces, and there is a stupendous senate house all covered with images, and at the head of them stands one of stout Herman Grinn, a soldier like thyself lad. I tell me of him what feet of arms earned him his niche. A rare one, he slew a lion in fair combat with naught but his cloak and a short sword. He thrust the cloak in the brute's mouth, and cut his spine in twain, and there is the man's effigy and eek the lions to prove it. The like was never done but by three more, I wean. Samson was one, and Lycemicus of Macedon another, and Ben-Ire, a captain of David's host. Murray, three tall fellows, I would like well to sub with them all to-night. So would not I, said Gerard Dryly. But tell me, said Denis, with some surprise, when was thou in Cologne? Never, but in the spirit. I prattle with the good monks, by the way, and they tell me all the notable things both old and new. Aye, aye, have not I seen your nose under their very cowls? But when I speak of matters that are out of sight, my words they are small and the thing it was big. Now thy words be as big or bigger than the things. Aren't a good limner with thy dung, I have said it, and for a saint as ready with hand or steel or bolster as any poor sinner living. And so shall I tell thee which of all these things thou has described draws me to Cologne? Aye, Denis, thou and thou only, no dead saint, but my living friend and comrade true, till thou alone draws Denis of Burgundy to Cologne. Gerard hung his head. At this juncture one of the younger boatmen suddenly inquired what was amiss with little turnip face. His young nephew, thus described, had just come aft grave as a judge and burst out crying in the midst without more ado. On this phenomenon, so sharply defined, he was subjected to many interrogatories, some coaxingly uttered, some not. Had he hurt himself? Had he overate himself? Was he frightened? Was he cold? Was he sick?  To all adeach he uttered the same reply, which English writers render thus, Oh, oh, oh, and French writers thus, High, high, high, so fixed are fictions, phonetics. Who can tell what ails the peevish brat, snarled the young boatmen impatiently, rather look this way and tell me whom these be after? The old man and his other son looked, and saw four men walking along the east bank of the river. At the sight they left rowing awhile, and gathered mysteriously in the stern, whispering and casting glances alternately at their passengers and the pedestrians. The sequel may show they would have employed speculation better in trying to fathom the turnip face mystery. I beg pardon of my age, I mean the deep mind of dauntless infancy. If tizzers I doubt, whispered one of the young men, why not give them a squeak for their lives? Let us make for the west bank. The old man objected stoutly. What, setty, run our heads into trouble for strangers, are ye mad? Nay, let us rather cross to the east side. Still side with the strong arm, that is my read. What say you, verter? I say please yourselves. What age and youth could not decide upon? A puff of wind settled most impartially. Came a squaw, and the little vessel healed over. The men jumped to windward to trim her, but to their horror they saw in the very boat from stern to stern a ditch of water rushing to leeward, and the next moment they saw nothing, but felt the rine, the cold and rushing rine. Turnip face had drawn the plug. The officers unwound the cords from their wastes. Gerard could swim like a duck, but the best swimmer canted out of a boat capsized must sink ere he can swim. The dark water bubbled loudly over his head, and then he came up almost blind and deaf for a moment. The next he saw the black boat, bottom uppermost, and figures clinging to it. He shook his head like a water dog, and made for it by a sort of unthinking imitation. But ere he reached it, he heard a voice behind him cry not loud, but with deep manly distress. He looked, and there was poor Denis, sinking, sinking, weighed down by his wretched arbalest.  Gerard uttered a wild cry of love and terror, and made for him, cleaving the water madly. But the next moment Denis was under water. The next Gerard was after him. The officers knotted a rope, and threw the end in. End of Chapter 27 Recording by Tom Denham Things good and evil balance themselves in a remarkable manner, and almost universally. The steel bow attached to the arbalestria's back, and carried above his head, had sunk him. That very steel bow, owing to that very position, could not escape Gerard's hands, one of which grasped it, and the other went between the bow and the cord, which was as good. The next moment Denis, by means of his crossbow, was hoisted with so eager a jerk that half his body bobbed up out of water.  Pasi bet! gurgled Denis. Seeing the sort of stuff he had to deal with, Gerard was hopeful and calm directly. On thy back, he said sharply, and seizing the arbalest, and taking a stroke forward, he aided the desired movement. Hand on my shoulder, slap the water with the other hand, no, with a downward motion, so do nothing more than I bid thee. Gerard had got hold of Denis' long hair, and twisting it hard, caught the end between his side teeth, and with the strong muscles of his youthful neck easily kept up the soldier's head, and struck out lustily across the current. A moment he had hesitated which side to make for, little knowing the awful importance of that simple decision. Then, seeing the west bank a trifle nearest, he made towards it, instead of swimming to jail like a good boy, and so furnishing one a novel incident. Owing to the force of the current, they slanted considerably, and when they had covered near a hundred yards, Denis murmured uneasily, how much more of it! Courage, mumbled Gerard, whatever a duck knows a Dutchman knows, aren't safe as in bed. The next moment, to their surprise, they found themselves in shallow water, and so waded ashore. Once on terra firma, they looked at one another from head to foot as if eyes could devour, then by one impulse flung each an arm round the other's neck, and panted there, with hearts too full to speak. And at this sacred moment life was sweet as heaven to both, sweetest perhaps to the poor exiled lover who had just saved his friend. O joy to whose height what poet has yet soared or ever tried to soar!  And then, calmer, they took hands, and so walked along the bank hand in hand like a pair of sweet darts, scarce knowing or caring whither they went. The boat-people were all safe on the late concave now convex craft, her turnip face the inverter of things being in the middle. All this fracker seemed not to have essentially deranged his habits. At least he was greeting when he shot our friends into the Rhine, and greeting when they got out again. Shall we wait till they write the boat? No, Denis, our fare is paid, we owe them not, let us on and briskly. Denis assented observing that they could walk all the way to Cologne on this bank. I fear not to Cologne, was the calm reply. I fear not to Cologne, was the calm reply. Why wither, then? To Burgundy. To Burgundy? Ah, no, that is too good to be soothed. Soothed is, and sense into the bargain. What matters it to me how I go to Rome? Nay, nay, you but say so to pleasure me. The change is too sudden, and think me not so ill-hearted as take you at your word. Also, did I not see your eyes sparkle at the wonders of Cologne, the churches, the images, the relics, how dull art thou, Denis, that was when we were to enjoy them together. Churches, I shall see plenty, go Romeward how I will. The bones of saints and martyrs alas, the world is full of them. But a friend like thee, where on earth's face shall I find another? No, I will not turn the father from the road that leads to thy dear home, and her that pines for thee. Neither will I rob myself of thee by leaving thee. Since I drew thee out of Rhine, I love thee better than I did. Thou art my pearl, I've fished thee, and must keep thee. So gain say me not, or thou will bring back my fever, but cry courage and lead on, and hay for burgundy. Denis gave a joyful caper courage, and they turned their backs on the Rhine. On this decision making itself clear, across the Rhine, there was a commotion in the little party that had been watching the discussion, and the friends had not taken many steps ere a voice came to them over the water. Halt! Gerard turned, and saw one of those four holding out a badge of office, and a parchment slip. His heart sank, for he was a good citizen, and used to obey the voice that now bad him. Turn again to Dusseldorf. The Laws. Denis did not share his scruples. He was a Frenchman, and despised every other nation, laws, inmates, and customs included. He was a soldier, and took a military view of the situation. Superior force opposed. River between. Rear open. Why? It was retreat made easy. He saw at a glance that the boat still drifted in mid-stream, and there was no ferry nearer than Dusseldorf. I shall beat a quick retreat to that hill, said he, and then, being out of sight, quick step. They sauntered off. Halt! In the bailiff's name! cried a voice from the shore. Denis turned round, and ostentatiously snapped his fingers at the bailiff, and proceeded. Halt! In the archbishop's name! Denis snapped his fingers at his grace, and proceeded. Halt! In the emperor's name! Denis snapped his fingers at his majesty, and proceeded. Gerard saw this needless pantomime with regret, and as soon as they had passed the brow of the hill said, There is now but one course we must run to Burgundy instead of walking, and he set off and ran the best part of a league without stopping. Denis was fairly blown, and inquired what on earth had become of Gerard's fever. I begin to miss it, sadly, said he dryly. I dropped it in the Rhine, I trow, was the reply. Presently they came to a little village, and here Denis purchased a loaf and a huge bottle of rainish wine. For, he said, we must sleep in some hole or corner, if we lie at an inn we shall be taken in our beds. This was no more than common prudence on the old soldier's part. The official network for catching lawbreakers, especially plebeian ones, was very close in that age, though the cooperation of the public was almost null at all events upon the continent. The innkeepers were everywhere under close surveillance as to their travellers, for whose acts they were even in some degree responsible, more so it would seem than for their sufferings. The friends were both glad when the sun set, and delighted when after a long trudge under the stars, for the moon, if I remember right, did not rise till about three in the morning, they came to a large barn belonging to a house at some distance. A quantity of barley had been lately thrashed, for the heap of straw on one side the thrashing floor was almost as high as the unthrashed corn on the other. Here be two royal beds, said Denis, which shall we lie on, the mow or the straw? The straw for me, said Geron. They sat on the heap, and ate their brown bread, and drank their wine, and then Denis covered his friend up in straw, and heaped it high above him, leaving him only a breathing hole. Water they say is death to fevered men, I'll make warm water on to anyhow. Geron, about him make his mind easy. These few drops from rind cannot chill me, I feel heat enough in my body now to parch a kennel, or boil a cloud if I was in one, and with this epigram his consciousness went so rapidly, he might really be said to fall asleep. Denis, who lay awake a while, heard that which made him nestle closer. Horses hoofs came ringing up from Düsseldorf, and the wooden barn vibrated as they rattled past, howling in a manner too well known and understood in the 15th century, but as unfamiliar in Europe now as a red Indian's war-whoop. Denis shook where he lay. Geron slept like a top. It all swept by, and troop and howls died away. The stout soldier drew a long breath, whistled in a whisper, closed his eyes, and slept like a top too. In the morning he sat up and put out his hand to wake Geron. It lighted on the young man's forehead, and found it quite wet. Denis then, in his quality of nurse, forbore to wake him. It is ill to check sleep or sweat in a sick man, said he. I know that far, though I ne'er minced ape or gallows bird. After waiting a good hour, he felt desperately hungry, so he turned and in self-defense went to sleep again. Poor fellow in his hard life he had been often driven to this manoeuvre. At high noon he was waked by Geron moving, and found him sitting up with the straw smoking round him like a dung-hill, animal heat versus moisture. Geron called him a lazy loon. He quietly grinned. They set out, and the first thing Denis did was to give Geron his arbalest, et cetera, and mount a high-trick to the road. Coast clear to the next village, said he, and on they went. On drawing near the village, Denis halted and suddenly inquired of Geron how he felt. What! Can you not see? I feel as if Rome was no farther than Yon Hamlet. But thy body lad, thy skin, neither hot nor cold, and yesterday was hot one while and cold another. But what I cannot get rid of is this tiresome leg. Le grand malheur! Many of my comrades have found no such difficulty. Ah, there it goes again, itches consumedly. Unhappy youth, said Denis solemnly. The sum of thy troubles is this. Thy fever is gone, and thy wound is healing. Sith so it is! added he indulgently. I shall tell thee a little piece of news I had otherwise withheld. What is it? cried Gerard, sparkling with curiosity. The hue and cry is out after us, and on fleet horses. Oh! End of Chapter 28, Recording by Tom Denham, Chapter 29 of The Cloister and the Half by Charles Reed. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Tom Denham. Gerard was staggered by this sudden communication, and his colour came and went. Then he clenched his teeth with ire. For men of any spirit at all are like the wild boar.  Gerard then set his teeth and looked battle. But the next moment his countenance fell, and he said plaintively, and my axe is in the Rhine. They consulted together. Prudence bad them avoid that village, hunger said by food. Hunger spoke loudest. Prudence most convincingly. They settled to strike across the fields. They halted at a haystack, and borrowed two bundles of hay, and lay on them in a dry ditch out of sight, but in nettles. They sallied out in turn and came back with turnips. These they munched at intervals in their retreat until sunset. Presently they crept out shivering into the rain and darkness, and got into the road on the other side of the village. It was a dismal night, dark as pitch, and blowing hard. They could neither see nor hear nor be seen nor heard, and for ought I know passed like ghosts close to their foes. These they almost forgot in the natural horrors of the black, tempestuous night, in which they seemed to grope and hue their way as in black marble. When the moon rose, they were many a league from Dusseldorf, but they still trudged on. Presently they came to a huge building. Courage! cried Denis. I think I know this convent. Ah, it is! We are in the sea of Jullier. Cologne has no power here. The next moment, the next moment, they were safe within the walls.


Have you ever noticed that sometimes patients come and visit us and they tell us more than what we know? This has happened to me too. Hi. My name is Dr. Manjana Tharidas. I'm a colorectal GI surgeon in the Department of Gastro-Science at Manipal Hospital, Whitefield. Just for the new surgeons and the upcoming surgeons and the surgeons who have been practicing for a long time, we are launching a new course in the minimally invasive advanced surgery masterclass. The course is divided into three parts. One is biliary disease. Another one is upper GI and colorectal and hepatobiliary and pancreas. We will be discussing about the new innovations and the research that is happening in these fields. The September 23rd conference is dedicated to the biliary disease. We will be talking about what is new in the biliary disease world. New innovations in terms of laparoscopic surgeries, endoscopic procedures and also other research that is upcoming. We have one of a kind new innovative approach to gallbladder disease. I hope you can join us to update yourself. We are here to share our experiences. Please do come and visit us so that you can share yours.


ssue is we lost a million workers. Well, it's not a million workers because there were a higher proportion of retired people who would be or older people, but there's a significant number of, yeah, primal life, middle aged, whatever. Yeah, and it's usually lower socioeconomic status, entry level jobs, which are the jobs that are currently trying to find people right now. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. So it's, yes. Anyway, yeah, all very frustrating and dumb, I have to say. Eight weeks. This is dumb. It doesn't need to still be happening. Eight weeks. Especially like we were doing okay. Things are okay. They weren't great. They were okay. Medium at best. Yeah. It was just kind of like, is this our new normal? It sucks, but at least like, people aren't dying as fast anymore and people are protected. But I'm sorry. When a variant comes by, this transmissible, shut it down. For instance, like over a hundred thousand cases in one day. Yeah. Like, like, I don't know. 60 something. Yeah. I don't think it's hit the US quite at the number. Like the US was, I read something that US was expecting Omercan to take over by June. And then like three days later, they updated that to January. Yeah. That's how fast this thing is. I was talking to Brian about this. Omercan is in terms of, if you look at it like a parasite, right? It's a better virus. Because it's not as deadly. Yeah. And it's more transmissible. So it's actually doing exactly what COVID wants. So hold up a second. Because we don't know that it's not as deadly. I don't think that's true. So you are 80% less likely to be in a, be hospitalized if you get infected with Omicron. But I think it's partly because a lot of the people who are getting. No, that's vaccinated. No. So vaccinated is 60 to 70%. Okay. But symptomatic Omicron overall, I do believe is about 80% less likely to end up in the hospital. It is a, it is a less deadly version. Which it's doing its job. So this is what Brian was asking me. And he was like, why would, why would a virus mutate to be less deadly? I was like, actually it's better for it. Cause it can spread more if it doesn't kill you. And it's not that. And again, it's not because it would want to, it's because that's what's going to spread.  If this was, if this was Mars. So people are saying, yeah. So that's the weird question. I think the problem is, so okay. Reuters has a story out from December 21st. Omicron infections appear no less severe than Delta. Yes. Oh, interesting. Yes. Yeah, but the, but the. It is biased on vaccinated versus unvaccinated. Who's getting into the hospital and also the age groups. That are ending up in the hospital. So overall. It's NPR. This is where I heard it. Yeah. See. Yeah. So overall it's not less severe, but that comes with the caveats of all of the other aspects of age and vaccination status and. So one of the, one of the things that is happening also, Denmark has probably got the, the hotspot for the world, but it's also actually testing for variants, which not everywhere is doing. It's doing frequent constant testing up. They're the most tested by a population that is also looking for the specific variant and not just saying COVID positive or negative. Right. So it may be as bad elsewhere. But one of the things is the majority of the people who are getting this have been at least partially vaccinated. They may not have gotten the booster. They might have only gotten the two shots. But hopefully all of them have gotten the, at least the first, not both. Well, the majority have gotten our, our vaccinated. So you're also talking about how things comes to outcomes that are largely showing this trend amongst vaccinated people. Right. Sperm quality is impaired for months for some people after recovery from COVID-19. Researchers have found. That's no good. Okay. So that's one of the things that I found. This is from yesterday. And it says, now I lost, oh, there it is. So in a couple of different studies in one, those infected by Omicron are 15 to 20% less likely to go to an emergency room and 40% less likely to be hospitalized overnight compared to Delta. And then another one. No, it's across the board. That's the board. Okay. And then this one of the noise then in the, in this one, about from Houston Methodist hospital system, 15% of symptomatic individuals ended up hospitalized about a 70% reduction compared to those infected by Delta. So that's 70% less. So that's, that's closer to what I heard. And that's from yesterday. A study from Britain found that people infected with Omicron were almost 60% less likely to enter the hospital than those infected with Delta.  The sample sizes are not as large as probably our Delta sample sizes. So, yeah. But that is also the one worse than the initial, right? Right. So then we, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're comparing against out the original Alpha screen. Yeah. Alpha. Yeah. It's a great question. I don't know. But yeah, so that, that was the, those were the factors I had heard yesterday. It's still a question. So, I mean, that's the problem is like, I think there are people hearing that going like screw it, bring them into work. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. Also though this is keeping people out of the hospital, but if people get sick, they still can't, can't come into work or shouldn't rather. And it spreads so quickly.  Yeah. I read that. Oh God, I just closed it. It said something like 20% of public service personnel in New York City called out sick on Tuesday. Whoa. I have to find that now. And that's not just being tired from the holidays. No. Oh. Okay. So thousands of NYPD, FDNY members out sick as COVID cases soar. Roughly 6,600 NYPD employees called out sick on Tuesday, about 20% of the department's workforce of those 3,000 or officers with flu-like symptoms and about 1,500 were positive for COVID. Oh my God. That's crazy. Don't look at people. Don't look up. As of Wednesday, Fire Department New York, 30% of EMS workers and 17% of firefighters were on medical leave. During the height of the pandemic in 2020, FDNY had about 25% of EMS out on medical leave. Oh my God. Crazy. Don't look up. Yeah. The flu season is ramping up too. Yay. I'm just going to stay home. I'm just staying home. Yeah. And wake me up in the springtime. Unfortunately, I can't do that. I know. Oh, my son's going to go back to school again. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's, I mean, that's the other one. Why aren't kids getting tested daily when they arrive at school with rapid tests? They need to be. And the, what they've got set up here in Portland is they've got these once weekly PCR tests and it takes three days to get the results back from those. So you don't find out whether a kid was positive until now because of the timeline of Omicron. It's going to be too late. The rapid test needs to be done at the door before the kids are allowed in the school. 100%. Well, and I keep getting, I keep getting these notifications at work that say like on such and such date, you were on premises with someone who had COVID. And it was like 10 days ago. Yeah. Because once somebody is positive, then they count backwards and do contact tracing for every day that you could have been around them. And it's like, at that, yeah, exactly. At that point is too late. It's yeah. So question real quick. Yeah. If the chance of the severity of hospitalization is down 60%, you're saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 60, 70, 80 somewhere in there. Okay. But if it's four times as transmissible. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So that's why the hospitals are filling up. Yeah. So that's the problem is if you only care about yourself, this is part of the problem. Yes. If you only care about yourself. Good news. You're tempted to go about your everyday life like that's enough to change because the Omicron variant is not as deadly. So you're like, That's not going to bother you. I can do whatever I want. But if you think about, you know, society, then it's a numbers game and it's a problem. Yeah. Yeah. It's a strange reality we're living in. It's very strange. It's just like, okay, we'll just not pay attention to any of this and just like, it's just, we shut down. And then that was it.  It's also don't look back. We're not moving backwards at no point. Does anyone want to push restrictions back down? Unacceptable. Unacceptable. Yeah. I mean, data from South Africa and other places, I mean, if Omicron is a quick burn, it's going to happen faster and hopefully the majority over the impact over faster. It's going to be not fun, but hopefully be over sooner. Yeah. I don't know. We'll see. Be careful where you're at 95s. And stay home when you can. So I just want to point out globally. Ooh, iron law, your math. That's awesome. There you go. If you look at, if you look at, there's a world ometers.info coronavirus slash coronavirus slash worldwide dash graphs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Look at this up. If you look at the daily death count, pretty consistent averaging around 7,500. Uh, globally, globally, like every day. This is probably about the average. Uh, we did have, it was about twice that. Uh, throughout the spring and summer. If you go back, if I go back to the last time this year, it's a little bit higher. The deaths were a little bit higher this time last year. The daily death rate by about a thousand. To some of the days. Oh, actually this, this exact time was twice as bad last year. Twice as many deaths were taking place. But it's got this consistent, like it's staying strong at around 7,000, 8,000 a day. Uh, we don't seem to be, and we're just getting more cases now. Uh, this hasn't swept the U.S. Yeah, we're not, we're gonna, we're not done. Oh no, no, no, we're just getting started. We're just getting started. Start the new year at home for two months. Absolutely, buddy. I'd love to play some video games, bake some bread. This whack-a-mole, this whack-a-mole is getting old.  That's what's happening. Um, Greg Gonzalez on Twitter says. Oh, he's fantastic. The United States has made a decision to accept a massive amount of death and suffering as a trade-off for quote-unquote getting back to normal. Yep. Yes, it's true. Bunker. He's great. I highly recommend following him on Twitter. He's a, he's, he's on it when it comes to the science. Yeah, yeah. Scientists on Twitter have been an interesting, that might have been worth mentioning in the show. Scientists have done a bang-up job on Twitter this year, I have to say. They've done a really good job. Well, also writing op-eds and, you know, doing work to put out information. It's been, it's, it's, it's really heartening to see it taken so seriously by the scientific community. Unfortunately, we have, you know, still have misinformation and all the stuff that we've been discussing. All this stuff. I just looked at Twitter and. Don't do it. It's a trap. Hey, no, I hadn't looked. I did. I turned off. I just didn't do social media for like a week. Yeah. It was really, really nice. And I'm like, ooh, the candy. I can't say no to candy. But anyway, I hope that our science is like candy for people. Like that wonderful treat in the stalking. Oh yeah. Also, Aaron Lord, nobody quote me on that four times is infectious. That's just number I pulled out of the. Yeah. It's likely much higher than that. Yeah. Whatever the, it's as infectious as the measles. Oh boy. Which is very, very infectious. And actually there was a recommendation. I don't know where it was where I heard this. But, but so it's not good information at that point, but it was from one of those sources of information I trust when I looked at it. At least even though I don't remember what it was. More than twice as quickly as, as delta is what I'm finding. Sorry, go ahead. There's a recommendation of like literally what you were, one of you had mentioned wearing two masks is actually a recommendation that might be worth doing if you go out somewhere. So the other thing that Brian keeps telling me over and over is like, and 95s are great. But if you're not fit tested, then they're not as effective as the science says. If you're not fit tested, then you're not getting the full effect of the 95. So if you can't get fit tested, that's great. But try to make sure that your 95 fits properly on your face. I'm going to run for office somewhere. I'm just going to run on two months. Yeah. Just two, two months.  I'm going to end this pandemic vote for me.  That's just going to be it. We'll be done. And then you can, I'll quit. As soon as it's over, I'll quit and you can hire somebody else for the job. I'm going to make everybody take, is there a president of the world yet? Do we have one? No. Because that's what needs to take place. Eight weeks. And then we can have a planet back. By the way, has anybody else noticed? The end of the world. Has anybody else noticed? I feel fine. This virus seems specifically to be killing humans. Yes. That's correct. Specifically. Because we're very densely populated. Because you think at the end of the world, you think asteroid, comet, meteorite kind of a thing, you think nuclear war in all life is gone from the planet. Or, you know, something like that. No, this one's just going to get rid of all the people. Yeah. So there's a couple things. So we're densely populated. But the other thing is we don't isolate when we're sick. Something that we talk about.  But we're like, hey, I still have to go to work. Yeah. It's I was thinking about how the time that if I did ever have COVID, the time that I had it was in January of 2020. I was sick for like six weeks. And back then you went to work if you were sick. You followed through with engagements if you were sick. Like the expectation was like pop a suit of that and go. And I was thinking about all of the things that I did over those six weeks. But remember, I did sketch fest with you guys when I was sick. Do you remember that? I had my hot tea and my horse. And I was on suit of that. Yeah. I was very ill at sketch fest last year in January 2020. And you had COVID. Oh my God. I could have had COVID. It's certainly possible. No.  You'll wear a mask, right? I will wear a mask if I'm not feeling a hundred percent moving forward, which I, you know, I may or may not have had COVID, but I can tell you when I catch colds, I'm sick for a very long time. I'm sick for like two to six weeks. And I think that's the big point Blair is though the, the mask wearing, it's not just about protecting you. It's about you protecting others. If you are a little under the weather, if you have something and you're wearing a good fitted mask, you're not going to be breathing those particles, those droplets or aerosols all over somebody. Yeah. Well, when I was a zookeeper, if you had any symptoms of any cold at all, oh, sorry. You had to wear a mask. If you were working with primates, because a lot of rhino viruses and other stuff can jump to primates. And so that was to protect the primates. It was not for me. It was to protect the animals. Speaking of animals, wasn't it, was it Ohio? Where is it? There was like deer that testing positive for COVID now. Oh gosh, I got to look this up. I got to make sure I didn't just dream that one. Nope. A third of Ohio deer test positive for COVID-19. Oh boy. Yeah. Did I crack off? Did I have a sense of taste and smell? I don't know about that. I saw a funny tweet the other day when it was like, I was, I was passing by a banging holiday party and I overheard someone say, Oh, do you smell that? It smells great. And somebody said, I don't smell anything. I don't smell anything. What are you talking about? They're like, there it is. That's something this year also, uh, somebody did the, uh, comments, reviews of the stinky holiday candles on Amazon. And there are all these reviews popping up right now around the holidays that are like, this candle doesn't smell like anything. And it's kind of peeking in this holiday. Yeah. I see you. Just these negative reviews in which the user can't smell the normally very stinky candles seems to coincide with the COVID spread. Oh my God. Oh. Yeah. Gosh. Well, I sure hope all of 2022 isn't this. Well, not even all of 2021 was this.  It was. In terms of hopes and disappointments. Yeah.  That's true. I'm so happy that's over. In person. It was right in between things, you know, like right in there, right in there. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, there are, there are good things that have been happening and, you know, we've gotten to do this show week after week and hang out with everybody and talk about science and hopefully get people to listen. Or not. Yeah. 2022 is on the way. It will not be the same as this. Nothing is, it's never the same. Everything always changes. You have to find comfort in our uncertainty of what the future will hold. But I'm sure certain that we will be predicting the future next Wednesday. That is true. It is true. Hopefully all of you will be there to join us. We don't have a gigantic audience like some of these big mainstream channels and networks. That's because we're not, we're not, we're not blowing smoke up people's butts. I think if we really wanted a big audience, we'd be like, okay, that's not where I was going.  Each one of you is precious.  So please wear your masks and avoid the people and get the shots. You've already, you're already doing that. We know you are. We know you're there. We know you're there. But we need nothing bad to happen. We can't lose any of you. That's what our plan is. So keep tuning in. We're going to, next week's show is going to be a lot of, this week's show, we had to deal with some of the stuff, but next week's show, nothing but fun. Nothing but good news as we predict. For predictions? We wanted to come back next week. Next week is nothing but good news. Don't come for the predictions. Come for the, um, the report back on our predictions from last year. Cause I think that'll be pretty funny. And also, uh, we're each going to bring probably one also science news story, right? Yes. And we will all bring a science news story because we have to start getting into the science news. We need to catch up on three weeks of science news next week. Yeah. There'll be something to talk about for sure. But yes, it's not just predicting. It's also looking at our predictions from last year and seeing. Tallying how we did. What did we predict correctly? I don't remember what I predicted. That's what happens every year. It's like, I don't remember what I predicted. I just know that I've been getting worse. I think I was optimistic. I think I've been getting worse at my predictions. I think, I think it was easier. I don't know. This is just my perspective is like in the last 10 years, I feel like, um, it was easier to predict certain things because science moved a little slower. But like technology has taken such great strides that a lot of areas of science that you could be like, oh, like they got really close with this one thing. They're probably going to figure it out next year. No, it happens. Science moves much faster now. So I feel like it's, we never could have guessed that in 2021 they'd grow a mini brain with eyes on it. But I think, you know, those sorts of things might have been telegraphed previously when technology moves slower. So I don't, I don't know. That's just my opinion. But it does feel like you could kind of make educated guesses before on your predictions. And now I feel like I can't at all. We're getting into the place of science fiction. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like once upon a time I was an optimistic person. And I'm perhaps more of a realist now. You can be both is the thing. I can be both. That's okay. You can definitely be both. Yeah. But I do think also it's time for us to. Bit it to 2021. It is part of that. The number of scientists worldwide. This year reached 8.8 million. So that's a good number of scientists. So that might also be part of why there's so much of this science happening. Yeah. Yeah. That's why we have job security. 8.8 million people generating stories. Yeah. Pretty good number. Go science. Produce the knowledge for the people who don't necessarily know how to use it. Okay. Processing data and sitting in a lab pipetting. So I don't have to thank you so much. Yes. Yay. Yeah. I don't know the stat on the overall knowledge generation Gord, but that is absolutely true. It's at an ever increasing rate. I think additionally. Also every 10 years, every 10 years, we consume as much oil as we did in all the years combined. And we shouldn't do that anymore. We should stop that. That's what we need to know. We're not supposed to do that for a while, but we are like, oh, I'm just sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar. Sneaking an entire flat of cookies. Yeah. Okay. I need to go to sleep. Alrighty. I need to put this here and myself to bed. Good night, Blair. Say good night, Justin. Say good morning, Justin. Morning, Justin. There we go. Good night. Good night, Kiki. Good night, everyone. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Yeah. Happy New Year. Happy Year of Science. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Old Lang Syne would be forgot. Don't forget about twists. Oh, experience be forgot and for God's sakes, wear your mask. And pants. Pants. I don't know. And a mask. Yeah. In public. But anyway, we will be back with our prediction show next week. And thank you so much. Maybe we don't quite understand the dynamics. Portland's probably got a problem. People wearing pants in public. Everybody being online with no pants. Come on. Yeah. Everybody's hopefully, never mind. Anyway, the new year's coming. We can't stop it. Time keeps going, but we can keep doing this together. Thank you so much for an amazing year. Thank you for joining us for a great 2021 review. And we look forward to seeing you next year. See you in 2021. Stay well. Yeah. Stay healthy. And stay well. And we will see you next Wednesday.


So from a viewer in your home country, Zimbabwe, in solving Africa's chronic energy problem, finding alternative renewable energy sources is important. What role do you think energy conservation can play to solve this problem? Thank you, Zimbabwe. Energy conservation is actually one of the biggest things that we should be looking at before we even try and look for new solutions. People say we need to develop all these technologies and do all sorts of things but you don't know what you've got till it's gone. So the first thing is to save as much energy as possible, save your environment, take care of your fossil fuels and stuff like that because you're actually destroying your world and before you know it you actually have to produce twice as much energy just to cover up for that. So conservation of energy is a big thing and also we're not expanding, unfortunately our energy resources are not expanding at the same rate as at which we need energy and at which the population is increasing. So we need to balance that out somehow. So yeah, I think conserving energy is a big thing.


This challenge from Ryan Nicholson CTF is called Stenography. I'm assuming this is supposed to be Stegonography, whatever. That's okay. We'll let it pass. It says find the hidden flag in this attached image file. So we can go ahead and download this. I will double you get it into our location in the command line. Did not copy, fail. I was probably just hitting the end button, whatever. So we can EOG this hacker file and view it if we particularly wanted to. It is just some dude staring at a computer screen. So maybe there's some interesting stuff hidden in different colors in this. So we can use some of our own regular Stegonography techniques to take a look at this file. ZSteg, we can pass to it. However, it is a JPEG file, which ZSteg does not have support for. So what I like to do is actually run StegSolve on it, which is a JAR file you can find online if you particularly want to use this tool. It's pretty awesome and a really good go to like low hanging fruit technique for actually viewing anything that may be Stegonography. You can go through it and actually look at different planes or however specific bit in a specific color like the green pane or blue plane, the zero bit like whatever. Maybe if you get at least significant bit or actually view it as an X or inverted colors and any alpha characters etc. So that's a good tool for some challenges. However, it's not doing it for us in this one. So what I actually tried at some point was just running strings on this file. And I noted at the very, very bottom there is a base 64 line. You can tell us base 64 because of the random capitalizations and numbers. Also the two equal signs give it away in egregious manner because equal signs at the very end tell us it's base 64 for padding. We can pass this to base 64 attack D and we simply get the flag just like that. There are a couple extra spaces in this. So I will rev this to actually cut out the limiter get the first one and then rev it back. And then we have our flag. So we can take this code or this command and take note of that as our get flag scripts and include our Shabang line and we have a documented solution. Great. So now we can mark that challenge as complete and we can submit that for points and move on. So good thing to know when you're doing secondography. I don't really consider this secondography because maybe this is forensics. There's a string embedded or hidden in the file. It's not in the actual color or pixels or images in the picture itself. But still cool challenge. Good to submit that and learn about it. So hey, I want to give a special shout out to my supporters, people that love me on Patreon. Thank you. I love you. I was going to start singing Barney for a second there. That was weird. Hey, $1 a month on Patreon will give you a special shout out just like this at the end of every video. $5 a month on Patreon will give you early access to everything that released on YouTube. And I'll hopefully get more incentive soon. If you did like this video, please do press that like button, maybe comment, maybe subscribe. And if you're willing to, come check us out on Discord. Hang out with us in there and support me on Patreon. That would be super cool. Links in the description. See ya.


We have a deal, those where the words of United States President Joe Biden as he emerged from a meeting with a bipartisan group of senators. The deal he was referring to will provide nearly $600 billion in new investments in roads, broadband internet, electric utilities and other projects. One of the things that we agreed on infrastructure, we made serious compromises on both ends, and they'll give you the numbers. But they did not, and I understand their position, Republicans and this group did not want to go along with any of my family plan issues, the childcare, tax credits, the human infrastructure that I talk about. And that will see what happens in the reconciliation bill and the budget process. If we get some compromise there, and if we can't, see if I can attract all the Democrats to a position that is there, but they're going to move in a dual track. And that's all they say. We didn't get everything we wanted, but we came up with a good compromise that's going to help the American people. This is about infrastructure. Every president over the past four or five presidents has talked about doing a big infrastructure package. You may recall that President Trump proposed a $2 trillion infrastructure package. Today we are announcing the framework for an historic investment in infrastructure. This is roads and bridges, but also lots of other kinds of infrastructure, including broadband, including our water system and our rail system. All of which is good for the economy. This will lead to more efficiency in our economy, higher productivity, more economic growth. This is about the long term. It invests in green energy and climate, recognizing the changing nature of our country and our future. It invests in broadband and our power grid and our structures. And we are delighted to go back to the Hill and begin earning more support from both Republicans and Democrats to get this bill across the finish line. Thank you.