This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, visit LibriVox.org. Life on the Mississippi by Mark Twain, author of The Innocence Abroad, Roughing It, The Prince and the Pauper, etc., with more than three hundred illustrations. Sold by a subscription only, Boston, James R. Osgood and Company, 1883. The River and Its History The Mississippi is well worth reading about. It is not a commonplace river, but, on the contrary, is in all ways remarkable. Considering the Missouri, its main branch, it is the longest river in the world—four thousand three hundred miles. It seems safe to say that it is also the crookedest river in the world, since, in one part of its journey, it uses up one thousand three hundred miles to cover the same ground that the crow would fly over in six hundred and seventy-five. It discharges three times as much water as the St. Lawrence, twenty-five times as much as the Rhine, and three hundred and thirty-eight times as much as the Thames. No other river has so vast a drainage basin. It draws its water supply from twenty-eight states and territories, from Delaware on the Atlantic Seaboard, and from all the country between that and Idaho on the Pacific Slope, a spread of forty-five degrees of longitude. The Mississippi receives and carries to the Gulf water from fifty-four subordinate rivers that are navigable by steamboats, and from some hundreds that are navigable by flats and keels. The area of its drainage basin is as great as the combined areas of England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, France, Spain, Portugal, Germany, Austria, Italy, and Turkey, and almost all this wide region is fertile. The Mississippi Valley proper is exceptionally so. It is a remarkable river in this, that instead of widening towards its mouth, it grows narrower, grows narrower and deeper. From the junction of the Ohio to a point halfway down to the sea, the width averages a mile in high water. Fence to the sea, the width steadily diminishes, until, at the passes above the mouth, it is but little over half a mile. At the junction of the Ohio, the Mississippi's depth is eighty-seven feet. The depth increases gradually, reaching one hundred and twenty-nine just above the mouth. The difference in rise and fall is also remarkable, not in the upper but in the lower river. The rise is tolerably uniform down to natches, three hundred and sixty miles above the mouth, about fifty feet. But at Bayou Lafourge, the river rises only twenty-four feet. At New Orleans only fifteen, and just above the mouth only two and one half. An article in the New Orleans Times Democrat based upon reports of Able engineers states that the river annually empties four hundred and six million tons of mud into the Gulf of Mexico, which brings to mind Captain Marriott's rude name for the Mississippi, the Great Sewer. This mud, solidified, would make a mass a mile square and two hundred and forty-one feet high. The mud deposit gradually extends the land, but only gradually. It has extended it not quite a third of a mile in the two hundred years, which have elapsed since the river took its place in history. The belief of the scientific people is that the mouth used to be at Baton Rouge, where the hills cease, and that the two hundred miles of land between there and the Gulf was built by the river. This gives us the age of that piece of country, without any trouble at all, one hundred and twenty thousand years. Yet it is much the youthfulest batch of country that lies around there anywhere. The Mississippi is remarkable in still another way. It's disposition to make prodigious jumps by cutting through narrow necks of land, and thus straightening and shortening itself. More than once it has shortened itself thirty miles at a single jump. These cut-offs have had curious effects. They have thrown several river towns out into the rural districts, and built up sandbars and forests in front of them. The town of Delta used to be three miles below Vicksburg. A recent cut-off has radically changed the position, and Delta is now two miles above Vicksburg. Both of these river towns have been retired to the country by that cut-off. A cut-off plays havoc with boundary lines and jurisdictions. For instance, a man is living in the state of Mississippi today, a cut-off occurs tonight, and tomorrow the man finds himself and his land over on the other side of the river, within the boundaries and subject to the laws of the state of Louisiana. Such a thing happening in the upper rivers in the old times could have transferred a slave from Missouri to Illinois and made a free man of him. The Mississippi does not alter its locality by cut-offs alone. It is always changing its habitat bodily, is always moving bodily sideways. At hard times, Louisiana, the river is two miles west of the region it used to occupy. As a result, the original site of that settlement is not now in Louisiana at all, but on the other side of the river, in the state of Mississippi. Nearly the whole of that 1,300 miles of old Mississippi River, which LaSalle floated down in his canoes two hundred years ago, is good, solid, dry ground now. The river lies to the right of it, in places, and to the left of it, in other places. Although the Mississippi's mud builds land but slowly, down at the mouth, where the Gulf's billows interfere with its work, it builds fast enough in better protected regions higher up. For instance, Prophets Island contained 1,500 acres of land thirty years ago, since then the river has added 700 acres to it. But enough of these examples of the mighty stream's eccentricities for the present, I will give a few more of them further along in the book. Let us drop the Mississippi's physical history and say a word about its historical history, so to speak. We can glance briefly at its slumberous first epic in a couple of short chapters, at its second and wider awake epic in a couple more, at its flushest and widest awake epic in a good many succeeding chapters, and then talk about its comparatively tranquil present epic in what shall be left of the book. The world and the books are so accustomed to use, and overuse the word new in connection with our country, that we early get and permanently retain the impression that there is nothing old about it. We do of course know that there are several comparatively old dates in American history, but the mere figures convey to our minds no just idea, no distinct realization of the stretch of time which they represent. To say that De Soto, the first white man who ever saw the Mississippi River, saw it in 1542, is a remark which states a fact without interpreting it. It is something like giving the dimensions of a sunset by astronomical measurements, and cataloging the colors by their scientific names. As a result you get the bald fact of the sunset, but you don't see the sunset. It would have been better to paint a picture of it. The date 1542, standing by itself, means little or nothing to us, but when one groups a few neighboring historical dates and facts around it, he adds perspective and color, and then realizes that this is one of the American dates which is quite respectable for age. For instance, when the Mississippi was first seen by a white man, less than a quarter of a century had elapsed since Francis I's defeat at Pavia, the death of Raphael, the death of Bayard, sans peur et sans reproche, the driving out of the night's hospitalers from Rhodes by the Turks, and the placarding of the 95 propositions, the act which began the Reformation. When De Soto took his glimpse of the river, Ignatius Loyola was an obscure name. The orders of the Jesuits was not yet a year old. Michael Angelo's paint was not yet dry on the last judgment in the Sistine Chapel. Mary, Queen of Scots, was not yet born, but would be before the year closed. Catherine de Medici was a child. Elizabeth of England was not yet in her teens. Calvin, Benvenuto Cellini and the Emperor Charles V were at the top of their fame, and each was manufacturing history after his own peculiar fashion. Margaret of Navarre was writing the heptameron and some religious books, the first survives the others are forgotten, with an indelicacy being sometimes better literature preservers than holiness. Lax court morals and the absurd chivalry business were in full feather, and the joust and the tournament were the frequent pastime of titled fine gentlemen who could fight better than they could spell, while religion was the passion of their ladies, and classifying their offspring into children of full rank and children by brevet their pastime. In fact, all around, religion was in a peculiarly blooming condition. The Council of Trent was being called. The Spanish Inquisition was roasting and racking and burning with a free hand. Elsewhere on the continent the nations were being persuaded to holy living by the sword and fire. In England Henry VIII had suppressed the monasteries, burnt Fisher and another bishop or two, and was getting his English Reformation and his harem effectively started. When De Soto stood on the banks of the Mississippi, it was still two years before Luther's death, eleven years before the burning of Servetus, thirty years before the St. Bartholomew slaughter, Rabelais was not yet published, Don Quixote was not yet written, Shakespeare was not yet born. A hundred long years must still elapse before English men could hear the name of Oliver Cromwell. Unquestionably the discovery of the Mississippi is a datable fact which considerably mellows and modifies the shiny newness of our country, and gives her a most respectable outside aspect of rustiness and antiquity. De Soto merely glimpsed the river, then died and was buried in it by his priests and soldiers. One would expect the priests and the soldiers to multiply the river's dimensions by ten, the Spanish custom of the day, and thus move other adventurers to go at once and explore it. On the contrary, their narratives, when they reached home, did not excite that amount of curiosity. The Mississippi was left unvisited by whites during a term of years which seems incredible in our energetic days. One may sense the interval to his mind after a fashion by dividing it up in this way. After De Soto glimpsed the river, a fraction short of a quarter of a century elapsed, and then Shakespeare was born, lived a trifle more than half a century, then died, and when he had been in his grave considerably more than half a century the second white man saw the Mississippi. In our day we don't allow a hundred and thirty years to elapse between glimpses of a marvel. If somebody should discover a creek in the county next to the one that the North Pole is in, Europe and America would start fifteen costly expeditions thither, one to explore the creek and the other fourteen to hunt for each other. For more than a hundred and fifty years there had been white settlements on our Atlantic coasts. These people were in intimate communication with the Indians. In the South the Spaniards were robbing, slaughtering, enslaving, and converting them. Higher up the English were trading beads and blankets to them for a consideration, and throwing in civilization and whiskey for lanyap. And in Canada the French were schooling them in a rudimentary way, missionarying among them, and drawing whole populations of them at a time into Quebec, and later to Montreal, to buy furs of them. Necessarily then these various clusters of whites must have heard of the great river of the far west, and indeed they did hear of it vaguely, so vaguely and indefinitely that its course, proportions, and locality were hardly even guessable. The mere mysteriousness of the matter ought to have fired curiosity in compelled exploration, but this did not occur. Apparently nobody happened to want such a river. Nobody needed it. Nobody was curious about it. So for a century and a half the Mississippi remained out of the market and undisturbed. When De Soto found it he was not hunting for a river, and had no present occasion for one. Consequently he did not value it, or even take any particular notice of it. But at last La Salle, the Frenchman, conceived the idea of seeking out that river and exploring it. It always happens that when a man seizes upon a neglected and important idea, people inflamed with the same notion crop up all around. It happened so in this instance. Naturally the question suggests itself, why did these people want the river now, when nobody had wanted it in the five preceding generations? Apparently it was because at this late day they thought they had discovered a way to make it useful. For it had come to be believed that the Mississippi emptied into the Gulf of California, and therefore afforded a shortcut from Canada to China. Previously the supposition had been that it emptied into the Atlantic, or Sea of Virginia. End of Chapter 1. Life on the Mississippi by Mark Twain Chapter 2 The River and Its Explorers La Salle himself sued for certain high privileges, and they were graciously accorded him by Louis XIV of inflated memory. Chief among them was the privilege to explore far and wide, and build forts, and stake out continents, and hand the same over to the king, and pay the expenses himself, receiving in return some little advantages of one sort or another among them the monopoly of buffalo hides. He spent several years and about all of his money in making perilous and painful trips between Montreal, and a fort which he had built on the Illinois, before he at last succeeded in getting his expedition in such a shape that he could strike for the Mississippi. And meantime other parties had had better fortune. In 1673 Joliet, the merchant, and Marquette, the priest, crossed the country and reached the banks of the Mississippi. They went by way of the Great Lakes, and from Green Bay in Canoes by way of Fox River and the Wisconsin. Marquette had solemnly contracted on the feast of the immaculate conception that if the Virgin would permit him to discover the Great River, he would name it conception in her honor. He kept his word. In that day all explorers traveled with an outfit of priests. De Soto had twenty-four with him. Lesal had several also. The expeditions were often out of meat and scant of clothes, but they always had the furniture and other requisites for the mass. They were always prepared, as one of the quaint chroniclers of the time phrased it, to explain hell to the savages. On the seventeenth of June 1673 the Canoes of Joliet and Marquette and their five subordinates reached the junction of the Wisconsin with the Mississippi. Mr. Parkman says, before them, a wide and rapid current course to thwart their way by the foot of lofty heights wrapped thick in forests. He continues, turning southward they paddled down the stream through a solitude unrelieved by the faintest trace of man. A big catfish collided with Marquette's Canoe and startled him, and reasonably enough, for he had been warned by the Indians that he was on a foolhardy journey, and even a fatal one, for the river contained a demon whose roar could be heard at a great distance and who would engulf them in the abyss where he dwelt. I have seen a Mississippi catfish that was more than six feet long and weighed 250 pounds, and if Marquette's fish was the fellow to that one, he had a fair right to think the river's roaring demon was come. At length the buffalo began to appear, grazing in herds on the great prairies which then bordered the river, and Marquette describes the fierce and stupid look of the old bulls as they stared at the intruders through the tangled mane which nearly blinded them. The voyagers moved cautiously. Landed at night and made a fire to cook their evening meal, then extinguished it, embarked again, paddled some way farther, and anchored in the stream, keeping a man on the watch till morning. They did this day after day and night after night, and at the end of two weeks they had not seen a human being. The river was an awful solitude then, and it is now over most of its stretch. But at the close of the fortnight they one day came upon the footprints of men in the mud of the Western Bank, a Robinson Crusoe experience which carries an electric shiver with it yet, when one stumbles on it in print. They had been warned that the river Indians were as ferocious and pitiless as the river demon, and destroyed all comers without waiting for provocation. But no matter, Joliet and Marquette struck into the country to hunt up the proprietors of the tracks. They found them by and by, and were hospitably received and well treated, if to be received by an Indian chief who had taken off his last rag in order to appear at his level best is to be received hospitably, and if to be treated abundantly to fish, porridge, and other game including dog, and have these things forked into one's mouth by the ungloved fingers of Indians is to be well treated. In the morning the chief and six hundred of his tribesmen escorted the Frenchmen to the river and bade them a friendly farewell. On the rocks above the present city of Alton they found some rude and fantastic Indian paintings which they describe. A short distance below a torrent of yellow mud rushed furiously a thwart the calm blue current of the Mississippi, boiling and surging and sweeping in its course logs, branches, and uprooted trees. This was the mouth of the Missouri, that savage river which descending from its mad career through a vast unknown of barbarism poured its turbid floods into the bosom of its gentle sister. By and by they passed the mouth of the Ohio, they passed cane breaks, they fought mosquitoes, they floated along day after day through the deep silence and loneliness of the river, drowsing in the scant shade of makeshift awnings and broiling with the heat. They encountered and exchanged civilities with another party of Indians, and at last they reached the mouth of the Arkansas about a month out from their starting point, where a tribe of war-whooping savages swarmed out to meet and murder them, but they appealed to the Virgin for help, so in place of a fight there was a feast, and plenty of pleasant palavar and falderol. They had proved to their satisfaction that the Mississippi did not empty into the Gulf of California or into the Atlantic. They believed it emptied into the Gulf of Mexico. They turned back now and carried their great news to Canada. But belief is not proof. It was reserved for La Salle to furnish the proof. He was provokingly delayed by one misfortune after another, but at last got his expedition under way at the end of the year 1681. In the dead of winter, he and Henri de Tonti, son of Lorenzo Tonti, who invented the Tantin, his lieutenant, started down the Illinois with a following of eighteen Indians brought from New England and twenty-three Frenchmen. They moved in procession down the surface of the frozen river on foot, and dragging their canoes after them on sledges. At Peoria Lake they struck open water and paddled thence to the Mississippi and turned their prowess southward. They plowed through the fields of floating ice, past the mouth of the Missouri, past the mouth of the Ohio by and by, and, gliding by the wastes of bordering swamp, landed on the twenty-fourth of February near the third Chickasaw Bluffs, where they halted and built Fort Prudhomme. Again, says Mr. Parkman, they embarked, and with every stage of their adventurous progress the mystery of this vast new world was more and more unveiled. More and more they entered the realms of spring, the hazy sunlight, the warm and drowsy air, the tender foliage, the opening flowers betoken the reviving life of nature. Day by day they floated down the great bends in the shadow of the dense forests, and in time arrived at the mouth of the Arkansas. First they were greeted by the natives of this locality, as Marquette had before been greeted by them, with the booming of the wardrum and the flourish of arms. The virgin composed the difficulty in Marquette's case. The pipe of peace did the same office for LaSalle. The white man and the red man struck hands and entertained each other during three days. Then, to the admiration of the savages, LaSalle set up a cross with the arms of France on it, and took possession of the whole country for the king, the cool fashion of the time, while the priest piously consecrated the robbery with a hymn. The priest explained the mysteries of the faith by signs for the saving of the savages, thus compensating them with possible possessions in heaven for the certain ones on earth which they had just been robbed of. And also, by signs, LaSalle drew from these simple children of the forest acknowledgments of fealty to Louis the Putrid over the water. Nobody smiled at these colossal ironies. These performances took place on the site of the future town of Napoleon, Arkansas, and there the first confiscation cross was raised on the banks of the Great River. Marquette's and Joliet's voyage of discovery ended at the same spot, the site of the future town of Napoleon. When De Soto took his fleeting glimpse of the river, away back in the dim early days, he took it from that same spot, the site of the future town of Napoleon, Arkansas. Therefore three out of the four memorable events connected with the discovery and exploration of the mighty river occurred by accident in one and the same place. It is a most curious distinction, when one comes to look at it and think about it. France stole that vast country on that spot, the future Napoleon, and, by and by, Napoleon himself was to give the country back again, make restitution not to the owners, but to their white American heirs. The voyagers, journeyed on, touching here and there, passed the site since become historic of Vicksburg and Grand Gulf, and visited an imposing Indian monarch in the Tesh country, whose capital city was a substantial one of sun-baked bricks mixed with straw, better houses than many that exist there now. The chief's house contained an audience room forty feet square, and there he received taunty in state, surrounded by sixty old men closed in white cloaks. There was a temple in the town, with a mud-wall about it ornamented with skulls of enemies sacrificed to the sun. The voyagers visited the Natchez Indians near the site of the present city of that name, where they found a religious and political despotism, a privileged class descended from the sun, a temple and a sacred fire. It must have been like getting home again. It was home with an advantage, in fact, for it lacked Louis XIV. A few more days swept swiftly by, and La Salle stood in the shadow of his confiscated cross at the meeting of the waters from Delaware and from Itasca, and from the mountain ranges close upon the Pacific, with the waters of the Gulf of Mexico, his task finished, his prodigy achieved. Mr. Parkman, in closing his fascinating narrative, thus sums up, On that day the realm of France received on parchment a stupendous accession, the fertile plains of Texas, the vast basin of the Mississippi from its frozen northern springs to the sultry borders of the Gulf, from the woody ridges of the Alleghenies to the bare peaks of the Rocky Mountains, a region of savannas and forests, sun-cracked deserts and grassy prairies, watered by a thousand rivers, ranged by a thousand warlike tribes, passed beneath the scepter of the Sultan of Versailles, and all by virtue of a feeble human voice, inaudible at half a mile. Apparently the river was ready for business now, but no, the distribution of a population along its banks was as calm and deliberate and time devouring a process as the discovery and exploration had been. Seventy years elapsed, after the exploration, before the river's borders had a white population worth considering, and nearly fifty more before the river had a commerce. Between LaSalle's opening of the river and the time when it may be said to have become the vehicle of anything like a regular and active commerce, seven sovereigns had occupied the throne of England, America had become an independent nation, Louis XIV and Louis XV had rotted and died, the French monarchy had gone down in the red tempest of the revolution, and Napoleon was a name that was beginning to be talked about. Truly there were snails in those days. The river's earliest commerce was in great barges, keelboats, broadhorns. They floated and sailed from the upper rivers to New Orleans, changed cargos there, and were tediously warped and pulled back by hand. A voyage down and back sometimes occupied nine months. In time this commerce increased until it gave employment to hordes of rough and hardy men, rude, uneducated, brave, suffering terrific hardships with sailor-like stoicism, heavy drinkers, coarse frolicers in moral sties like the naches under the hill of that day, heavy fighters, reckless fellows, every one, elephantinely jolly, foul-witted, profane, prodigal of their money, bankrupt at the end of the trip, fond of barbaric finery, prodigious braggarts, yet in the main honest, trustworthy, faithful to promises and duty, and often picturesquely magnanimous. By and by the steamboat intruded. Then for fifteen or twenty years these men continued to run their keelboats downstream, and the steamers did all of the upstream business, the keelboatmen selling their boats in New Orleans, and returning home as deck-passengers in the steamers. But after a while the steamboats so increased in number and in speed that they were able to absorb the entire commerce, and then keelboating died a permanent death. The keelboatmen became a deck-hand, or a mate, or a pilot on the steamer, and when steamer berths were not open to him he took a berth on a Pittsburgh coal-flat, or on a pine raft constructed in the forests up toward the sources of the Mississippi. In the heyday of the steamboating prosperity the river from end to end was flaked with coal fleets and timber rafts, all managed by hand, and employing hosts of the rough characters whom I have been trying to describe. I remember the annual processions of mighty rafts that used to glide by Hannibal when I was a boy, an acre or so of white, sweet-smelling boards in each raft, a crew of two dozen men or more, three or four wiglums scattered about the raft's vast level space for storm quarters, and I remember the rude ways and tremendous talk of their big crews, the ex-keelboatmen and their admiringly patterning successors, for we used to swim out a quarter or a third of a mile and get on these rafts and have a ride. By way of illustrating keelboat talk and manners, and that now departed and hardly remembered raft life, I will throw in, in this place, a chapter from a book which I have been working at, by fits and starts, during the past five or six years, and may possibly finish in the course of five or six more.  He has run away from his persecuting father and from a persecuting good widow who wishes to make a nice, truth-telling, respectable boy of him, and with him a slave of the widows has also escaped. They have found a fragment of a lumber raft, it is high water and dead summertime, and are floating down the river by night, and hiding in the willows by day, bound for Cairo, once the Negro will seek freedom in the heart of the free states. But in a fog they pass Cairo without knowing it. By and by they begin to suspect the truth, and Huck Finn is persuaded to end the dismal suspense by swimming down to a huge raft which they have seen in the distance ahead of them, creeping aboard under cover of the darkness, and gathering the needed information by eavesdropping. But you know, a young person can't wait very well when he is impatient to find a thing out, we talked it over, and by and by, Jim said it was such a black night now, that it wouldn't be no risk to swim down to the big raft and crawl aboard and listen. They would talk about Cairo because they would be calculating to go ashore there for a spree, maybe, or anyway they would send boats ashore to buy whiskey or fresh meat or something. Jim had a wonderful level head for a nigger. He could almost always start a good plan when he wanted one. I stood up and shook my rags off and jumped into the water and struck out for the raft's light. By and by when I got down nearly to her, I eased up and went slow and cautious. But everything was all right, nobody at the sweeps. So I swum down along the raft till I was most abreast the campfire in the middle. Then I crawled aboard and inched along and got in amongst some bundles of shingles on the weather side of the fire. There was thirteen men there. They was the watch on deck, of course, and a mighty rough-looking lot, too. They had a jug and tin cups, and they kept the jug moving. One man was singing, roaring, you may say, and it wasn't a nice song for a parlor, anyway. He roared through his nose and strung out the last word of every line very long. When he was done they all fetched a kind of engine war-woop, and then another was sung. It begun. There was a woman in our town, in our town that did dwell, dwell. She loved her husband dearly, but another man twice he's weddle. Singing too, reloo, reloo, reloo, retoo, reloo, relay. She loved her husband dearly, but another man twice he is weddle. And so on, fourteen verses. It was kind of poor, and when he was going to start on the next verse one of them said it was the tune the old cow died on, and another one said, oh, give us a rest. And another one told him to take a walk. They made fun of him till he got mad and jumped up and began to cuss the crowd, and said he could lame any thief in the lot. They was all about to make a break for him, but the biggest man there jumped up and says, set wire yard, gentlemen, leave him to me, he's my meat. Then he jumped up in the air three times and cracked his heels together every time.   Then he jumped up in the air and cracked his heels together again and shouted out, woo, woo, I'm the old original iron jawed brass-mounted copper-bellied corpse-maker from the wilds of Arkansas. Look at behind the man they call sudden death and general desolation. Sired by a hurricane, damned by an earthquake, half-brother to the cholera, nearly related to the smallpox, on my mother's side. Look at me, I take nineteen alligators and a barrel of whiskey for breakfast, when I'm in robust health, and a bushel of rattlesnakes and a dead body when I'm ailing. I split the everlasting rocks with my glance, and I squinch the thunder when I speak, woo, stand back and give me room, according to my strength, and blood's my natural drink, and the wails of the dying is music to my ear. Cast your eye on me, gentlemen, and lay low and hold your breath, for I'm about to turn myself loose. All the time he was getting this off, he was shaking his head and looking fierce and kind of swelling around in a little circle, tucking up his wristbands, and now and then straightening up and beating his breast with his fists, saying, look at me, gentlemen. When he got through he jumped up and cracked his heels together three times and let off a roaring whoop, I'm the bloodiest son of a wild cat that lives.  Then he straightened and jumped up and cracked his heels together three times before he lit again.  Hold me down to the earth, for I feel my powers are working. Whoop, whoop, I'm a child of sin, don't let me get and start. Smoke glass here for all. Don't attempt to look at me with the naked eye, gentlemen. When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a scene and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales.  When I'm cold I bile the gulf of Mexico and bathe in it. When I'm hot I fan myself with an equinoctial storm.  When I range the earth hungry famine follows in my tracks, whoop, whoop, and bow your neck and spread. I put my hand on the sun's face and make it night in the earth. I bite a piece out of the moon and hurry the seasons. I shake myself and crumble the mountains. Contemplate me through leather. Don't use the naked eye. I'm the man with a petrified heart and bile iron bowels. The massacre of isolated communities is the pastime of my idle moments. The destruction of nationalities, the serious business of my life.  He jumped up and cracked his heels together three times before he lit. They cheered him again.  Then the other one went to swelling around and blowing again, the first one, the one they called Bob. Next the child of calamity chipped in again, bigger than ever. Then they both got at it at the same time, swelling round and round each other and punching their fists most into each other's faces and whooping and jawing like engines. Then Bob called the child names and the child called him names back again. Next Bob called him a heap rougher names and the child come back at him with the very worst kind of language.  Bob went and got it and said never mind, this weren't going to be the last of this thing, because he was a man that never forgotten, never forgive. And so the child better look out, for there was a time a coming, just as sure as he was a living man, that he would have to answer to him with the best blood in his body. The child said no man was willing ear than he was for that time to come, and he would give Bob fair warning now never to cross his path again, for he could never rest till he had waded in his blood, for such was his nature, though he was sparing him now on account of his family, if he had one. Both of them was edging away in different directions, growling and shaking their heads and going on about what they was going to do, but a little black whiskered chap skipped up and says, Come back here, you couple of chicken-livered cowards, I'll thrash the two of you! And he done it too. He snatched them, he jerked them this way and that, he booted them around, he knocked them sprawling faster than they could get up. Why, it weren't two minutes till they begged like dogs, and how the other lot did yell and laugh and clap their hands all the way through, and shout, Sail in, corp's maker! Hi, and at him again, child of calamity!  Well, it was a perfect pow-wow for a while. Bob and the child had red noses and black eyes when they got through.  Then Bob and the child shook hands with each other, very solemn, and said they had always respected each other and was willing to let bygones be bygones. So then they washed their faces in the river, and just then there was allowed order to stand by for a crossing, and some of them went forward to man the sweeps there, and the rest went aft to handle the after-sweeps. I laid still and waited for fifteen minutes, and had a smoke out of the pipe that one of them left in reach. Then the crossing was finished, and they stumped back and had a drink round, and went to talking and singing again. Next they got out an old fiddle, and one played and another patted Juba, and the rest turned themselves loose on a regular old-fashioned keel-boat breakdown. They couldn't keep that up very long without getting winded, so by and by they settled around the jug again. They sung, Jolly, Jolly Rasmund the Life for Me, with amusing chorus, and then they got to talking about differences between hogs and their different kind of habits, and next about women and their different ways, and next about the best ways to put out houses that was afire, and next about what ought to be done with the engines, and next about what a king had to do, and how much he got, and next about how to make cats fight, and next about what to do when a man has fits, and next about differences between clear water rivers and muddy water ones. The man they called Ed said the muddy Mississippi water was wholesomer to drink than the clear water of the Ohio. He said if you let a pint of this yaller Mississippi water settle, you would have about a half to three quarters of an inch of mud in the bottom, according to the stage of the river, and then it weren't no better than Ohio water. What you wanted to do was to keep it stirred up, and when the river was low, keep mud on hand to put in and thicken the water up the way it ought to be. The child of Calamity said that was so. He said there was nutritionness in the mud, and a man that drunk Mississippi water could grow corn in his stomach if he wanted to. He says you look at the graveyards, that tells the tale. Trees won't grow worth chucks in a Cincinnati graveyard, but in a St. Louis graveyard they grow upwards of 800 foot high. It's all on account of the water the people drunk before they laid up. A Cincinnati corpse don't rich in the soil any. And they talked about how Ohio water didn't like to mix with Mississippi water. Ed said if you take the Mississippi on a rise when the Ohio was low, you'll find a wide band of clear water all the way down the east side of the Mississippi for a hundred mile or more, and the minute you get out a quarter of a mile from shore and pass the line, it is all thick and yaller the rest of the way across. Then they talked about how to keep tobacco from getting moldy, and from that they went into ghosts and told about a lot that other folks had seen. But Ed says, why don't you tell something that you've seen yourselves? Now let me have a say. Five years ago I was on a raft as big as this, and right along here it was a bright moon-shiny night, and I was on watch and boss of the stop at Orford, and one of my pards was a man named Dick Albright, and he come along to where I was sitting, farred, gaping and stretching he was, and stooped down on the edge of the raft and washed his face in the river, and come up and sat down by me and got out his pipe, and had just got it filled when he looks up and says, Why, looky here, he says. Ain't that Buck Miller's place over yonder in the bend? Yes, I says, I. It is. Why? He laid his pipe down and lent his head on his hand and says, I thought we'd be further down. I says, I thought it, too, when I went off watch.  But the boys told me, I says, that the raft didn't seem to hardly move for the last hour, says I. Though she's slipping along all right now, says I, he give a kind of groan and says, I've seen a raft act so before along here, he says. Appears to me the current has most quit above the head of this bend during the last two years, he says. Well, he raised up two or three times and looked way off and around on the water. That started me at it, too. The body is always doing what he sees somebody else doing, though there may be no sense in it. Pretty soon I see a black something floating on the water way off to stop it and quartering behind us. I see he was looking at it, too. I says, watch that, he says, sort of fetish. Taint nothing but an old empty barrel.  How can you tell it's an empty barrel? He says, I don't know. I reckon it ain't a barrel. But I thought it might be, says he. Yes, I says, so it might be, and it might be anything else, too. The body can't tell nothing about it such a distance as that, I says. We had nothing else to do, so we kept on watching it, by and by, I says, why, looky here, Dick Albright, that thing's a-gaining on us, I believe. He never said nothing. The thing gained and gained, and I judged it must be a dog that was about tired out. Well, we swung down into the crossing, and the thing floated across the bright streak of the moonshine, and by George it was a barrel, says I. Dick Albright, what made you think that thing was a barrel, when it was a half mile off, says I, and says he, I don't know.  He says, well, I knowed it was a barrel. I've seen it before. Lots have seen it. They says it's a haunted barrel.  It floated right along a breast now, and didn't gain any more.  Some was for having it aboard, but the rest didn't want to. Dick Albright said rafts that had fooled with it, had got bad luck by it. The captain of the watch said he didn't believe in it. He said he reckoned the barrel gained on us because it was in a little better current than what we was. He said it would leave by and by. So then we went to talking about other things, and we had a song, and then a breakdown, and after that the captain of the watch called for another song. But it was clouding up now, and the barrel stuck right there in the same place, and the song didn't seem to have much warm up to it somehow, so they didn't finish it, and there weren't any cheers, but it sort of dropped flat, and nobody said anything for a minute. Then everybody tried to talk at once, and one chap got off a joke, but it weren't no use, and they didn't laugh. And even the chap that made the joke didn't laugh at it, which ain't usual. We all just settled down glum and watched the barrel, and was uneasy and uncomfortable. Well, sir, it shut down black and still, and then the wind began to moan around, and next the lightning began to play, and the thunder to grumble, and pretty soon there was a regular storm, and in the middle of it a man that was running out stumbled and fell and sprained his ankle so that he had to lay up. This made the boys shake their heads, and every time the lightning come there was that barrel with the blue lights winking around it. We was always on the lookout for it, but by and by toward dawn she was gone. When the day came we couldn't see her anywhere, and we weren't sorry neither. But next night, about half past nine, when there were songs and hijinks going on, here she comes again, and took her old roost on the starboard side. There wasn't no more hijinks. Everybody got solemn. Nobody talked. You couldn't get anybody to do anything but set round Moody and look at the barrel. It began to cloud up again. When the watch changed the off-watch stayed up, instead of turning in, the storm ripped and roared round all night, and in the middle of it another man tripped and sprained his ankle and had to knock off. The barrel left toward day, and nobody see it go. Everybody was sober and down in the mouth all day. I don't mean the kind of sober that comes of leaving liquor alone, not that. They was quiet, but they all drunk more than usual, not together, but each man sidled off and took it private by himself. After dark the off-watch didn't turn in. Nobody sung. Nobody talked. The boys didn't scatter round, neither. They sort of huddled together forward. And for two hours they set there, perfectly still, looking steady in the one direction and heaving a sigh once in a while. Then here comes the barrel again. She took up her old place. She stayed there all night, and nobody turned in. The storm come on again after midnight. Got awful dark. The rain poured down, hail, too. The thunder boomed and roared and bellowed. The wind blowed a hurricane, and the lightning spread over everything in big sheets of glare, and showed the whole raft as plain as day, and the river lashed up white as milk as far as you could see for miles. And there was that barrel jiggering along, same as ever. The captain ordered the watch to man the after sweeps for a crossing, and nobody would go. No more sprained ankles for them, they said. They wouldn't even walk aft. Well, then, just then the sky split wide open with a crash, and the lightning killed two men of the after-watch, and crippled two more. Crippled them how, says you, why, sprained their ankles. The barrel left in the dark twix lightnings toward dawn. Well, not a body eat a bite at breakfast that morning. After that the men loafed around in twos and threes and talked low together. But none of them herded with Dick Albright. They all give him the cold shake. If he come round where any of the men was, they split up and sidled away. They wouldn't man the sweeps with him. The captain had all the skiffs hauled up on the raft, alongside of his wigwam, and wouldn't let the dead men be took ashore to be planted. He didn't believe a man that got ashore would come back, and he was right. After night come you could see pretty plain that there was going to be trouble if that barrel come again. There was such a muttering going on.  Some wanted to put him ashore. Some said, let's all go ashore in a pile, if the barrel comes again. This kind of whispers was still going on, the men being bunched together forward watching for the barrel, when, lo and behold, here she comes again. Down she comes, slow and steady, and settles into her old tracks. You could hurt a pin drop.  I don't want this barrel to be dogging us all the way to New Orleans. And you don't. Well, then, how's the best way to stop it? Burn it up. That's the way. I'm going to fetch it aboard, he says. And before anybody could say a word in, he went. He swum to it, and as he come pushing it to the raft, the men spread to one side. But the old man got it aboard and busted in the head, and there was a baby in it. Yes, sir, a stark-naked baby. It was Dick Albright's baby. He owned up and said so. Yes, he says, a-leaning over it. Yes, it is my own lamented darling. My poor lost Charles William Albright deceased, says he, for he could curl his tongue round the bulliest words in the language when he was a mind to, and lay them before you without a jint started anywheres.  And this was the third year that the barrel had chased him. He said the bad luck always begun light, and lasted till four men was killed, and then the barrel didn't come any more after that. He said if the men would stand at one more night, and was it going on like that, but the men had got enough. They started to get out a boat to take him ashore and lynch him, but he grabbed the little child all of a sudden and jumped overboard with it, hugged up to his breast and shedding tears, and we never see him again in this life, poor old suffering soul, nor Charles Williams, neither. Who was shedding tears, says Bob. Was it Albright or the baby? Why, Albright, of course. Didn't I tell you the baby was dead? Been dead three years. How could it cry? Well, never mind how it could cry. How could it keep all that time, says Davey. You answer me that. Well, I don't know how it done it, says Ed. It done it, though. That's all I know about it. Say, what did they do with the barrel, says the child of Calamity? Why, they hove it overboard and it sunk like a chunk of lead.  Did it have its hair parted, says another? What was the brand on that barrel, Eddie? says a fellow they called Bill. Have you got the papers for them, statistics, Edmund? says Jimmy. Say, Edwin, was you one of the men that was killed by the lightning, says Davey? Him? Oh, no, he was both of them, says Bob. Then they all ha-ha-d. Say, Edward, don't you reckon you'd better take a pill? You look bad. Don't you feel pale, says the child of Calamity. Oh, come now, Eddie, says Jimmy. Show up. You must have kept part of that barrel to prove the thing by. Show us the bung-hole, do, and we'll all believe you. Say, boys, says Bill. Let's divide it up. That's thirteen of us. I can swallow a thirteenth of the yarn. If you can worry down the rest. Ed got up mad and said they could all go to some place which he ripped out pretty savage and then walked off aft Cussin to himself, and they yelling and jeering at him, and roaring and laughing so you could hear them a mile. Boys, we'll split a watermelon on that, says the child of Calamity, and he come rummaging round in the dark amongst the shingle bundles where I was and put his hand on me. I was warm and soft and naked, so he says, ouch, and jumped back. Fetch a lantern or a chunk of fire here, boys. There's a snake here as big as a cow! So they run there with a lantern and crowd it up and looked in on me. Come out of that, you beggar, says one. Who are you, says another. What are you after here? Speak up prompt or overboard you go. Snake him out, boys. Snatch him out by the heels. I began to beg and crept out amongst them trembling. They looked me over, wondering, and the child of Calamity says, a Cussin thief! Lend a hand and less heave him overboard. No, says Big Bob.  Good, that's it. Go for the paint, Jimmy. When the paint come and Bob took the brush and was just going to begin, the others laughing and rubbing their hands, I began to cry, and that sort of worked on Davy, and he says, vast there, he's nothing but a cub. I'll paint the man that touches him. So I looked around on them, and some of them grumbled and growled, and Bob put down the paint and the others didn't take it up. Come here to the fire and let's see what you're up to here, says Davy. Now sit down there and give an account of yourself. How long have you been on board here? Not over a quarter of a minute, sir, says I. How'd you get dry so quick? I don't know, sir. I'm always that way, mostly.  What's your name? I wasn't going to tell my name. I didn't know what to say, so I just says, Charles William Albright, sir. Then they roared, the whole crowd, and I was mighty glad I said that because maybe laughing would get them in a better humor. When they got done laughing, Davy says, It won't hardly do, Charles William. You couldn't have growled this much in five years, and you was a baby when you come out of the barrel, you know, and dead at that. Come now, tell a straight story and nobody'll hurt you. If you ain't up to anything wrong, what is your name? Alec Hopkins, sir. Alec James Hopkins. Well, Alec, where'd you come from here? From a trading-scow. She lays up the bend yonder. I was born on her.  Because when you went by, he said he would like to get some of you to speak to a Mr. Jonas Turner in Cairo and tell him, Oh, calm. Yes, sir, it's true as the world. Pap, he says, Oh, your grandmother. They all laughed, and I tried again to talk, but they broke in on me and stopped me. Now, looky here, says Davy. You're scared, and so you talk wild. Honest now. Do you live in a scow, or is it a lie? Yes, sir, in a trading-scow. She lays up at the head of the bend. But I weren't born in her. It's our first trip. Now you're talking. What did you come aboard here for? To steal? No, sir, I didn't. It was only to get a ride on the raft. All boys does that. Well, I know that. But what did you hide for?  So they do. They might steal. Looky here. If we let you off this time, will you keep out of these kind of scrapes that you're after? Deed, I will, boss. You try me. All right, then.  And don't you make a fool of yourself another time this way.  I didn't wait to kiss goodbye but went overboard and broke for shore. When Jim come along by and by, the big raft was way out of sight around the point. I swam out and got aboard, and was mighty glad to see home again. The boy did not get the information he was after, but his adventure has furnished the glimpse of the departed raftsmen and keel-boatmen which I desire to offer in this place. I now come to a phase of the Mississippi River life of the flush times of steam-boating, which seems to me to warrant full examination the marvelous science of piloting as displayed there. I believe there has been nothing like it elsewhere in the world. When I was a boy there was but one prominent ambition among my comrades footnote number one, Hannibal, Missouri. On the west bank of the Mississippi River that was to be a steam-boatman. We had transient ambitions of other sorts but they were only transient. When a circus came and went it left us all burning to become clowns. The first Negro minstrel show that came to our section left us all suffering to try that kind of life. Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good God would permit us to be pirates. These ambitions faded out each in its turn, but the ambition to be a steam-boatman always remained. Once a day a cheap gaudy packet arrived upward from St. Louis and another downward from Keokuk. Before these events the day was glorious with expectancy. After them the day was a dead and empty thing. Not only the boys but the whole village felt this. After all these years I could picture that old time to myself, now, just as it was then. The white town drowsing in the sunshine of a summer's morning, the streets empty, or pretty nearly so. One or two clerks sitting in front of the water-street stores, with their splint-bottomed chairs tilted back against the wall, chins on breasts, hats slouched over their faces, asleep, with shingle shavings enough around to show what broke them down, a sow and a litter of pigs loafing along the sidewalk, doing a good business in watermelon rinds and seeds, two or three lonely little freight piles scattered about the levee, a pile of skids on the slope of the stone-paved wharf, and the fragrant town drunker to sleep in the shadow of them. Two or three wood flats at the head of the wharf, but nobody to listen to the peaceful lapping of the wavelets against them. The great Mississippi, the majestic, the magnificent Mississippi, rolling its mile-wide tide along, shining in the sun, the dense forest away on the other side, the point above the town and the point below, bounding the river-glimps and turning it into a sort of sea, and with all a very still and brilliant and lonely one. Presently a film of dark smoke appears above one of those remote points. Instantly a negro Dreyman, famous for his quick eye and prodigious voice, lifts up the cry, STEAM BOAT COMIN! and the scene changes. The town drunkard stirs. The clerks wake up. A furious clatter of Drays follows. Every house and store pours out a human contribution, and all in a twinkling the dead town is alive and moving. Drays, carts, men, boys, all go hurrying from many quarters to a common-center, the wharf. Assembled there, the people fasten their eyes upon the coming boat as upon a wonder they are seeing for the first time. And the boat is rather a handsome sight, too. She is long and sharp and trim and pretty. She has two tall, fancy-top chimneys, with a gilded device of some kind swung between them. A fanciful pilot-house, a glass and gingerbread perched on top of the Texas deck behind them. The paddle-boxes are gorgeous, with a picture or with gilded rays above the boat's name. The boiler-deck, the hurricane-deck, and the Texas deck are fenced and ornamented with clean white railings. There is a flag gallantly flying from the jack-staff. The furnace doors are open and the fires glaring bravely. The upper decks are black with passengers. The captain stands by the big bell, calm, imposing, the envy of all. Great volumes of the blackest smoke are rolling and tumbling out of the chimneys. A husband-did grandeur created with a bit of pitch-pine just before arriving at a town. The crew are grouped on the folksal. The broad stage is run far out over the port bow, and an envied deck-hand stands picturesquely on the end of it, with a coil of rope in his hand. The pent-steam is screaming through the gauge-cocks. The captain lifts his hand, a bell rings, the wheels stop, then they turn back, churning the water to foam, and the steamer is at rest. Then such a scramble as there is to get aboard and to get ashore, and to take in freight and to discharge freight all at once and at the same time, and such a yelling and cursing as the mates facilitate it all with. Ten minutes later the steam is under way again, with no flag on the jack-staff and no black smoke issuing from the chimneys. After ten more minutes the town is dead again, and the town drunkard asleep by the skids once more. My father was a justice of the peace, and I supposed he possessed the power of life and death over all men and could hang anybody that offended him. This was distinction enough for me as a general thing, but the desire to be a steamboat man kept intruding, nevertheless. I first wanted to be a cabin boy so that I could come out with a white apron on and shake a tablecloth over the side where all my old comrades could see me. Later I thought I would rather be the deck-hand who stood on the end of the stage-plank with a coil of rope in his hand because he was particularly conspicuous. But these were only day-dreams. They were too heavenly to be contemplated as real possibilities. By and by one of our boys went away. He was not heard of for a long time.  This thing shook the bottom out of all my Sunday school teachings. That boy had been notoriously worldly, and I just the reverse. Yet he was exalted to his imminence, and I left in obscurity and misery. There was nothing generous about this fellow and his greatness. He would always manage to have a rusty boat to scrub while his boat tarried at our town, and he would sit on the inside-guard and scrub it where we could all see him and envy him and loathe him. And whenever his boat was laid up he would come home and swell around the town in his blackest and greasiest clothes so that nobody could help remembering that he was a steamboat man, and he used all sorts of steamboat technicalities in his talk, as if he were so used to them that he forgot common people could not understand them. He would speak of the labored side of a horse in an easy natural way that would make one wish he was dead. And he was always talking about St. Louis, like an old citizen. He would refer casually to occasions when he was coming down 4th Street, or when he was passing by the planter's house, or when there was a fire and he took a turn on the brakes of the old Big Missouri, and then he would go on and lie about how many towns the size of ours were burned down there that day. Two or three of the boys had long been persons of consideration among us because they had been to St. Louis once, and had a vague general knowledge of his wonders. But the day of their glory was over now. They lapsed into a humble silence, and learned to disappear when the ruthless cub engineer approached. This fellow had money, too, and hair oil.  He wore a leather belt and used no suspenders. If ever a youth was cordially admired and hated by his comrades, this was one. No girl could withstand his charms. He cut out every boy in the village. When his boat blew up at last, it diffused a tranquil contentment among us, such as we had not known for months. But when he came home the next week, alive, renowned, and appeared in church all battered up and bandaged, a shining hero stared at and wondered over by everybody, it seemed to us that the partiality of Providence for an undeserving reptile had reached a point where it was open to criticism. This creature's career could produce but one result and it speedily followed. Boy after boy managed to get on the river. The minister's son became an engineer. The doctors and the postmaster's sons became mud clerks. The wholesale liquor dealer's son became a barkeeper on a boat. Four sons of the chief merchant and two sons of the county judge became pilots. Pilot was the grandest position of all. The pilot, even in those days of trivial wages, had a princely salary from $150 to $250 a month and no board to pay. Two months of his wages would pay a preacher's salary for a year. Now some of us were left disconsolate. We could not get on the river. At least our parents would not let us. So by and by I ran away. I said I never would come home again till I was a pilot and could come in glory. But somehow I could not manage it. I went meekly aboard a few of the boats that lay packed together like sardines at the Long St. Louis Wharf and very humbly inquired for the pilots, but got only a cold shoulder and short words from mates and clerks. I had to make the best of this sort of treatment for the time being, but I had comforting daydreams of a future when I should be a great and honoured pilot with plenty of money and could kill some of these mates and clerks and pay for them. CHAPTER V Months afterward the hope within me struggled to a reluctant death and I found myself without an ambition. But I was ashamed to go home. I was in Cincinnati and I set to work to map out a new career. I had been reading about the recent exploration of the River Amazon by an expedition sent out by our government. It was said that the expedition, owing to difficulties, had not thoroughly explored a part of the country lying about the headwaters, some four thousand miles from the mouth of the river. It was only about fifteen hundred miles from Cincinnati to New Orleans, where I could doubtless get a ship. I had thirty dollars left. I would go and complete the exploration of the Amazon. This was all the thought I gave to the subject. I never was great in matters of detail. I packed my valise and took passage on an ancient tub called the Paul Jones for New Orleans. For the sum of sixteen dollars I had the scarred and tarnished splendours of her main saloon principally to myself, for she was not a creature to attract the eye of wiser travellers. When we presently got under way and went poking down the broad Ohio, I became a new being and the subject of my own admiration. I was a traveller. A word never had tasted so good in my mouth before. I had an exultant sense of being bound for mysterious lands and distant climbs which I never have felt in so uplifting a degree since. I was in such a glorified condition that all ignoble feelings departed out of me, and I was able to look down and pity the untraveled with a compassion that had hardly a trace of contempt in it. Still, when we stopped at villages and woodyards, I could not help lulling carelessly upon the railings of the boiler-deck to enjoy the envy of the country boys on the bank. If they did not seem to discover me, I presently sneezed to attract their attention or moved to a position where they could not help seeing me, and as soon as I knew they saw me, I gaped and stretched and gave other signs of being mightily bored with travelling. I kept my hat off all the time and stayed where the wind and the sun could strike me, because I wanted to get the bronzed and weather-beaten look of an old traveller. Before the second day was half gone I experienced a joy which filled me with the purest gratitude, for I saw that the skin had begun to blister and peel off my face and neck. I wished that the boys and girls at home could see me now. We reached Louisville in time, at least the neighbourhood of it. We stuck hard and fast on the rocks in the middle of the river and lay there four days. I was now beginning to feel a strong sense of being a part of the boat's family, a sort of infant son to the captain and younger brother to the officers. There is no estimating the pride I took in this grandeur or the affection that began to swell and grow in me for those people. I could not know how the lordly steamboatman scorns that sort of presumption in a mere landsman. I particularly longed to acquire the least trifle of notice from the big stormy mate, and I was on the alert for an opportunity to do him a service to that end. It came, at last. The riotous powwow of setting a spar was going on down on the folksle, and I went down there and stood around in the way, or mostly skipping out of it, till the mate suddenly roared a general order for somebody to bring him a capstan-bar. I sprang to his side and said, Tell me where it is! I'll fetch it! If a rag-picker had offered to do a diplomatic service for the Emperor of Russia, the monarch could not have been more astounded than the mate was. He even stopped swearing. He stood and stared down at me. It took him ten seconds to scrape his disjointed remains together again. Then he said impressively, Well, if this don't beat hell! and turned to his work with the air of a man who had been confronted with a problem too abstruse for a solution. I crept away and courted solitude for the rest of the day. I did not go to dinner. I stayed away from supper until everybody else had finished. I did not feel so much like a member of the boat's family now as before. However, my spirits returned in installments as we pursued our way down the river. I was sorry I hated the mate so because it was not in young human nature not to admire him. He was huge and muscular. His face was bearded and whiskered all over. He had a red woman and a blue woman tattooed on his right arm, one on each side of a blue anchor with a red rope to it, and in the matter of profanity he was sublime. When he was getting out cargo at a landing I was always where I could see and hear. He felt all the majesty of his great position and made the world feel it too. When he gave even the simplest order he discharged it like a blast of lightning and sent a long, reverberating peel of profanity thundering after it. I could not help contrasting the way in which the average landsman would give an order with the mate's way of doing it. If the landsman should wish the gang- plank move a foot farther forward he would probably say, James or William, one of you, push that plank forward please, but put the mate in his place and he would roar out, Here now, start that gang- plank forward, lively now! What are you about? Snatch it! Snatch it! There! There! After again! After again! Don't you hear me? Dash it to dash! Are you going to sleep over it? Vast heaving! Vast heaving, I tell you! Going to heave it clear, stern? Where are you going with that barrel? Forward with it! Forward I make you swallow it, you dash dash dash dash! Split between a tired mud-turtle and crippled hearse-horse? I wished I could talk like that. When the soreness of my adventure with the mate had somewhat worn off, I began timidly to make up to the humblest official connected with the boat, the night watchman. He snubbed my advances at first, but I presently ventured to offer him a new chalk pipe, and that softened him. So he allowed me to sit with him by the big bell on the hurricane-deck, and in time he melted into conversation. He could not well have helped it. I hung with such homage on his words and so plainly showed that I felt honored by his notice. He told me the names of dim capes and shadowy islands as we glided by them in the solemnity of the night under the winking stars, and by and by got to talking about himself. He seemed over-sentimental for a man whose salary was six dollars a week, or rather he might have seemed so to an older person than I. But I drank in his words hungrily and with a faith that might have moved mountains if it had been applied judiciously. What was it to me that he was soiled and seedy and fragrant with gin? What was it to me that his grammar was bad, his construction worse, and his profanity so void of art that it was an element of weakness rather than strength in his conversation. He was a wronged man, a man who had seen trouble, and that was enough for me. As he mellowed into his plaintive history his tears dripped upon the lantern in his lap, and I cried too from sympathy. He said he was the son of an English nobleman, either an Earl or an alderman. He could not remember which, but believed was both.  So while he was still a little boy he was sent to one of them old ancient colleges. He couldn't remember which. And by and by his father died, and his mother seized the property and shook him, as he phrased it. After his mother shook him, members of the nobility with whom he was acquainted, used their influence to get him the position of lob-lolly-boy in a ship. And from that point my watchman threw off all trammels of date and locality and branched out into a narrative that bristled all along with incredible adventures. A narrative that was so reeking with bloodshed and so crammed with hair-breath escapes and the most engaging and unconscious personal villainies that I sat speechless, enjoying, shuddering, wondering, worshipping. It was a sore blight to find out afterwards that he was a low, vulgar, ignorant, sentimental, half-witted humbug, an untraveled native of the wilds of Illinois who had absorbed wildcat literature and appropriated its marvels, until in time he had woven odds and ends of the mess into this yarn and then gone on telling it to fledglings like me until he had come to believe it himself. CHAPTER VI What with lying on the rocks four days at Louisville and some other delays, the poor old Paul Jones fooled away about two weeks in making the voyage from Cincinnati to New Orleans. This gave me a chance to get acquainted with one of the pilots, and he taught me how to steer the boat, and thus made the fascination of river life more potent than ever for me. It also gave me a chance to get acquainted with a youth who had taken deck passage, more's the pity, for he easily borrowed six dollars of me on a promise to return to the boat and pay it back to me the day after we should arrive. But he probably died or forgot, for he never came. It was doubtless the former, since he had said his parents were wealthy and he only traveled deck passage because it was cooler. Footnote one, deck passage, i.e. steerage passage. I soon discovered two things. One was that a vessel would not be likely to sail for the mouth of the Amazon under ten or twelve years, and the other was that the nine or ten dollars still left in my pocket would not suffice for so imposing an exploration as I had planned, even if I could afford to wait for a ship. Therefore it followed that I must contrive a new career. The Paul Jones was now bound for St. Louis. I planned a siege against my pilot, and at the end of three hard days he surrendered. He agreed to teach me the Mississippi River from New Orleans to St. Louis for five hundred dollars, payable out of the first wages I should receive after graduating. I entered upon the small enterprise of learning twelve or thirteen hundred miles of the great Mississippi River with the easy confidence of my time of life. If I had really known what I was about to require of my faculties, I should not have had the courage to begin. I supposed that all a pilot had to do was to keep his boat in the river, and I did not consider that that could be much of a trick, since it was so wide. The boat backed out from New Orleans at four in the afternoon, and it was our watch until eight. Mr. Bixby, my chief, straightened her up, plowed her along past the sterns of the other boats that lay at the levee, and then said, Here, take her, shave those steamships as close as you'd peel an apple. I took the wheel, and my heartbeat fluttered up into the hundreds, for it seemed to me that we were about to scrape the side off every ship in the line we were so close. I held my breath and began to claw the boat away from the danger, and I had my own opinion of the pilot, who had known no better than to get us into such peril, but I was too wise to express it. In half a minute I had a wide margin of safety intervening between the Paul Jones and the ships, and within ten seconds more I was set aside in disgrace, and Mr. Bixby was going into danger again, and flaying me alive with abuse of my cowardice. I was stung, but I was obliged to admire the easy confidence with which my chief loafed from side to side of his wheel, and trimmed the ship so closely that disaster seemed ceaselessly imminent. When he had cooled a little he told me that the easy water was close ashore, and the current outside, and therefore we must hug the bank upstream to get the benefits of the former, and stay well out downstream to take advantage of the latter. In my own mind I resolved to be a downstream pilot and leave the up-streaming to people dead to prudence. Now and then Mr. Bixby called my attention to certain things, said he, "'This is Six Mile Point!' I assented. It was pleasant enough information, but I could not see the bearing of it. I was not conscious that it was a matter of any interest to me. Another time he said, "'This is Nine Mile Point!' Later he said, "'This is Twelve Mile Point!' They were all about level with the water's edge. They all looked about alike to me. They were monotonously unpicturesque. I hoped Mr. Bixby would change the subject, but no. He would crowd up around a point, hugging the shore with affection, and then say, "'The slack water ends here!  Now we cross over!' So he crossed over. He gave me the wheel once or twice, but I had no luck. I either came near chipping off the edge of a sugar plantation, or I yawed too far from shore, and so dropped back into disgrace again, and got abused. The watch was ended at last, and we took supper and went to bed. At midnight the glare of a lantern shone in my eyes, and the night watchman said, "'Come, turn out!' Then he left. I could not understand this extraordinary procedure, so I presently gave up trying to, and dozed off to sleep. Pretty soon the watchman was back again, and this time he was gruff. I was annoised. I said, "'What do you want to come bothering around here in the middle of the night for? Now, as like as not, I'll not get to sleep again tonight!' The watchman said, "'Well, if this ain't good, I'm blessed.'" The off-watch was just turning in, and I heard some brutal laughter from them, and such remarks as, "'Oh, watchman! ain't the new cub turned out yet?' He's delicate, likely give him some sugar in a rag, and send for the chambermaid to sing a rock of my baby to him." About this time Mr. Bixby appeared on the scene. Something like a minute later I was climbing. The pilot house steps with some of my clothes on and the rest in my arms. Mr. Bixby was close behind, commenting. Here was something fresh, this thing of getting up in the middle of the night to go to work. It was a detail in piloting that had never occurred to me at all. I knew that boats ran all night, but somehow I had never happened to reflect that somebody had to get up out of a warm bed to run them. I began to fear that piloting was not quite so romantic as I had imagined it was. There was something very real and work-like about this new phase of it. It was a rather dingy night, although a fair number of stars were out. The big mate was at the wheel, and he had the old tub pointed at a star and was holding her straight up the middle of the river. The shores on either hand were not much more than half a mile apart, but they seemed wonderfully far away and ever so vague and indistinct. The mate said, "'We've got to land a Jones plantation, sir.' The vengeful spirit in me exalted. I said to myself, "'I wish you joy of your job, Mr. Bixby. You'll have a good time finding Mr. Jones' plantation such a night as this, and I hope you never will find it as long as you live.' Mr. Bixby said to the mate, "'Upper end of the plantation, or the lower?' "'Upper.' "'I can't do it. The stumps there are out of the water at this stage. It's no great distance to the lower, and you'll have to get along with that. All right, sir. If Jones don't like it, he'll have to lump it, I reckon.' And then the mate left. My exaltation began to cool and my wonder to come up. Here was a man who not only proposed to find this plantation on such a night, but to find either end of it you preferred. I dreadfully wanted to ask a question, but I was caring about as many short answers as my cargo-room would admit of, so I held my peace. All I desired to ask Mr. Bixby was the simple question whether he was ass enough to really imagine he was going to find that plantation on a night when all plantations were exactly alike and all the same color, but I held in. I used to have fine inspirations of prudence in those days. Mr. Bixby made for the shore and soon was scraping it, just the same as if it had been daylight, and not only that, but singing. Farther in heaven the day is declining, et cetera. It seemed to me that I had put my life in the keeping of a peculiarly reckless outcast. Presently he turned on me and said, What's the name of the first point above New Orleans? I was gratified to be able to answer promptly and I did. I said I didn't know. Don't know! This manner jolted me. I was down at the foot again in a moment, but I had to say just what I had said before.  What's the name of the next point? Once more I didn't know. Well, this beats anything. Tell me the name of any point or place I told you. I studied a while and decided that I couldn't. Look here. What do you start out from? Above 12 mile point to cross over? I don't know. You don't know, mimicking my drawing manner of speech. What do you know? I... Nothing for certain. By the great Caesar's ghost, I believe you. You're the stupidest dunderhead I ever saw or ever heard of, so help me, Moses.  You? Why, you don't know enough to pilot a cow down a lane! Oh, but his wrath was up. He was a nervous man and he shuffled from one side of his wheel to the other as if the floor was hot. He would boil a wild himself and then overflow and scald me again. Look here. What do you suppose I told you the names of those points for? I tremblingly considered a moment and then the devil of temptation provoked me to say, well, to... to... be entertaining, I thought. This was a red rag to the bull. He raged and stormed so, he was crossing the river at the time, that I judge it made him blind because he ran over the steering-or of a trading scowl. Of course the traitors sent up a volley of red-hot profanity. Never was a man so grateful as Mr. Bixby was, because he was brimful and here were subjects who would talk back. He threw open a window, thrust his head out, and such an eruption followed as I never had heard before. The fainter and farther away the scowl men's curses drifted, the higher Mr. Bixby lifted his voice and the weightier his adjectives grew. When he closed the window he was empty.  Presently he said to me in the gentlest way, My boy, you must get a little memorandum book, and every time I tell you a thing, put it down right away. There's only one way to be a pilot, and that is to get this entire river by heart. You have to know it just like ABC. That was a dismal revelation to me. For my memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges. However, I did not feel discouraged long. I judged that it was best to make some allowances, for doubtless Mr. Bixby was stretching. Presently he pulled a rope and struck a few strokes on the big bell. The stars were all gone now, and the night was as black as ink. I could hear the wheels churn along the bank, but I was not entirely certain that I could see the shore. The voice of the invisible watchman called up from the hurricane-deck, Watch this, sir! Jones Plantation! I said to myself, I wish I might venture to offer a small bet that it isn't, but I did not chirp. I only waited to see. Mr. Bixby handled the engine-bells, and in due course the boat's nose came to the land. A torch glowed from the folksle. A man skippered ashore. A darky's voice on the bank said, Give me the carpet-bag, Mars Jones! In the next moment we were standing up the river again all serene. I reflected deeply a while and then said, but not aloud, Well, the finding of that plantation was the luckiest accident that ever happened, but it couldn't happen again in a hundred years. And I truly believed it was an accident too. By the time we had gone seven or eight hundred miles up the river I had learned to be a tolerably plucky upstream steersman in daylight, and before we reached St. Louis I had made a trifle of progress in night work, but only a trifle. I had a notebook that fairly bristled with the names of towns, points, bars, islands, bends, reaches, etc. But the information was to be found only in the notebook. None of it was in my head. It made my heart ache to think I had only got half of the river set down, for as our watch was four hours off and four hours on, day and night, there was a long four-hour gap in my book for every time I had slept since the voyage began. My chief was presently hired to go on a big Norlands boat, and I packed my satchel and went with him. She was a grand affair. When I stood in her pilot house I was so far above the water that I seemed perched on a mountain, and her decks stretched so far away, four and aft below me, that I wondered how I could ever have considered the little Paul Jones a large craft. There were other differences, too. The Paul Jones's pilot house was a cheap, dingy, battered rattle-trap cramped for room, but here was a sumptuous glass temple, room enough to have a dance in, showy red and gold window-curtains, an imposing sofa, leather cushions, and a back-to-the-high bench where visiting pilots sit, to spin yarns and look at the river, bright fanciful cuspidors instead of a broad wooden box filled with sawdust, nice new oilcloth on the floor, a hospitable big stove for winter, a wheel as high as my head, costly with inlaid work, a wire tiller-rope, bright brass knobs for the bells, and a tidy, white-aproned, black Texas tender to bring up tarts and vices, and coffee during mid-watch day and night. Now, this was something like, and so I began to take heart once more to believe that piloting was a romantic sort of occupation after all. The moment we were under way, I began to prowl about the great steamer and fill myself with joy. She was as clean and as dainty as a drawing-room. When I looked down her long, gilded saloon, it was like gazing through a splendid tunnel. She had an oil-picture by some gifted sign-painter on every stateroom door. She glittered with no end of prism, fringe chandeliers. The clerk's office was elegant, the bar was marvellous, and the barkeeper had been barbered and upholstered at incredible cost. The boiler-deck, i.e. the second story of the boat, so to speak, was as spacious as a church, it seemed to me, so with a folk-soul. And there was no pitiful handful of deck-hands, firemen and roustabouts down there, but a whole battalion of men. The fires were fiercely glaring from a long row of furnaces, and over them were eight huge boilers. This was unutterable pomp. The mighty engines—but enough of this. I had never felt so fine before, and when I found that the regiment of natty servants respectfully served me, my satisfaction was complete. End of CHAPTER VI This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, visit LibriVox.org. Life on the Mississippi by Mark Twain CHAPTER VII A Daring Deed When I returned to the pilot-house, St. Louis was gone and I was lost. Here was a piece of river which was all down in my book, but I could make neither head nor tail of it. You understand, it was turned around. I had seen it when coming upstream, but I had never faced about to see how it looked when it was behind me. My heart broke again, for it was plain that I had got to learn this troublesome river both ways. The pilot-house was full of pilots going down to look at the river, what is called the Upper River. The two hundred miles between St. Louis and Cairo, where the Ohio comes in, was low, and the Mississippi changes its channel so constantly that the pilots used to always find it necessary to run down to Cairo to take a fresh look, and their boats were to lie in port a week, that is, when the water was at a low stage. A deal of this looking at the river was done by poor fellows who seldom had a birth, and whose only hope of getting one lay in there being always freshly posted and therefore ready to drop into the shoes of some reputable pilot for a single trip on account of such pilot-sudden illness or some other necessity, and a good many of them constantly ran up and down inspecting the river, not because they ever really hoped to get a birth, but because they being guests of the boat it was cheaper to look at the river than stay ashore and pay board. In time these fellows grew dainty in their tastes and only infested boats that had an established reputation for setting good tables. All visiting pilots were useful, for they were always ready and willing, winter or summer, night or day, to go out in the yall and help buoy the channel, or assist the boats pilots in any way they could. They were likewise welcome because all pilots are tireless talkers when gathered together, and as they talk only about the river they are always understood and are always interesting. Your true pilot cares nothing about anything on earth but the river, and his pride and his occupation surpasses the pride of kings. We had a fine company of these river inspectors along this trip. There were eight or ten, and there was an abundance of room for them in our great pilot house. Two or three of them wore polished silk hats, elaborate shirt fronts, diamond breastpins, kid gloves, and patent leather boots. They were a choice in their English and bore themselves with the dignity proper to men of solid means and prodigious reputations as pilots. The others were more or less loosely clad and wore upon their heads tall felt cones that were suggestive of the days of the Commonwealth. I was a cipher in this august company, and felt subdued, not to say torpid. I was not even of sufficient consequence to assist at the wheel when it was necessary to put the tiller hard down in a hurry. The guests that stood nearest did that, when occasion required, and this was pretty much all the time because of the crookedness of the channel and the scant water. I stood in a corner, and the talk I listened to took the hope all out of me. One visitor said to another, Jim, how did you run Plum Point coming up? It was in the night there, and I ran it the way one of the boys on the Diana told me, started out about fifty yards above the woodpile on the false point, and held on to the cabin under Plum Point till I raised the reef, quarter less twain, then straightened up for the middle bar till I got well abreast the old one-limbed cottonwood in the bend, then got my stern on the cottonwood, and head on the low place above the point, came through a boomin' nine-and-a-half. Pretty squareward-crossin', ain't it? Yes, but the upper bar's workin' down fast. Another pilot spoke up and said, I had better water than that, and ran it lower down, started out from the false point, marked twain, raised the second reef abreast, the big snag in the bend, and had a quarter less twain. One of the gorgeous ones remarked, I don't want to find fault with your Ledsman, but that's a good deal of water from Plum Point, it seems to me. There was an approving nod all around, as this quiet snub dropped on the boaster and settled him, and so they went on talk-talk-talking. Meantime, the thing that was running in my mind was, how if my ears hear a rite, I have not only to get the names of all the towns and islands and bends and so on by heart, but I must even get up a warm personal acquaintanceships with every old snag and one-limbed cottonwood and obscure woodpile that ornaments the banks of this river for twelve hundred miles, and more than that, I must actually know where these things are in the dark. Unless these guests are gifted with eyes that can pierce through two miles of solid blackness, I wish the piloting business was in Jericho and I had never thought of it. A dusk, Mr. Bixby tapped the big bell three times, the signal to land, and the captain emerged from his drawing-room in the forward end of the Texas and looked up inquiringly. Mr. Bixby said, �We will lay up here all night, Captain!� �Very well, sir!� That was all. The boat came to shore and was tied up for the night. It seemed to me a fine thing that the pilot could do as he pleased, without asking so grand a captain's permission. I took my supper and went immediately to bed, discouraged by my day's observations and experiences. My late voyage's note-booking was but a confusion of meaningless names. It had tangled me all up in a knot every time I had looked at it in the daytime. I now hoped for respite in sleep, but no, it reveled all through my head till sunrise again, a frantic and tireless nightmare. Next morning I felt pretty rusty and low-spirited. We went booming along, taking a good many chances, for we were anxious to get out of the river, as getting out to Cairo was called before night should overtake us. But Mr. Bixby's partner, the other pilot, presently grounded the boat, and we lost so much time in getting her off that it was plain that darkness would overtake us a good long way above the mouth. This was a great misfortune, especially to certain of our visiting pilots whose boats would have to wait for their return no matter how long that might be. It sobered the pilot-house talk a good deal. Coming upstream, pilots did not mind low water or any kind of darkness. Nothing stopped them but fog, but downstream work was different. A boat was too nearly helpless, with a stiff current pushing behind her, so it was not customary to run downstream at night in low water. There seemed to be one small hope, however, if we could get through the intricate and dangerous Hat Island crossing before night we could venture the rest, for we would have plainer sailing and better water. But it would be insanity to attempt Hat Island at night, so there was a deal of looking at watches all the rest of the day, and a constant ciphering upon the speed we were making. Hat Island was the eternal subject. Sometimes hope was high, and sometimes we were delayed in a bad crossing, and down it went again. For hours all hands lay under the burden of this suppressed excitement. It was even communicated to me, and I got to feeling so solicitous about Hat Island, and under such an awful pressure of responsibility, that I wished I might have five minutes on shore to draw a good, full, relieving breath, and start over again. We were standing no regular watches. Each of our pilots ran such portions of the river as he had run when coming upstream because of his greater familiarity with it, but both remained in the pilot house constantly. An hour before sunset Mr. Bixby took the wheel, and Mr. W. stepped aside. For the next thirty minutes every man held his watch in his hand, and was restless, silent, and uneasy. At last somebody said with a doomful sigh, Well, yonder's Hat Island, and we can't make it. All the watches closed with a snap, everybody sighed and muttered something about its being too bad, too bad. If we could only have got here half an hour sooner. And the place was thick with the atmosphere of disappointment. Some started to go out, but loitered, hearing no bell-tap to land. The sun dipped behind the horizon, the boat went on. Inquiring looks passed from one guest to another, and one who had his hand on the doorknob and had turned it, waited, then presently took away his hand and let the doorknob turn back again. We bore steadily down the bend. More looks were exchanged and nods of surprised admiration, but no words. Insensibly the men drew together behind Mr. Bixby, as the sky darkened, and one or two dim stars came out. The dead silence and the sense of waiting became oppressive. Mr. Bixby pulled the cord, and two deep mellow notes from the big bell floated off on the night. Then a pause, and one more note was struck. The watchman's voice followed from the hurricane deck. Labored led there! Stabbered led! The cries of the ledsmen began to rise out of the distance, and were gruffly repeated by the word-passers on the hurricane deck. Mark three! Mark three! Quarterless three! Half twain! Quarter twain! Mark twain! Quarterless! Mr. Bixby pulled two bell ropes, and was answered by faint jinglings far below in the engine room, and our speed slackened. The steam began to whistle through the gauge-cocks. The cries of the ledsmen went on, and it is a weird sound always in the night. Every pilot in the lot was watching now with fixed eyes and talking under his breath. Nobody was calm and easy, but Mr. Bixby. He would put his wheel down and stand on a spoke, and as the steamer swung into her, to me utterly invisible marks, for we seem to be in the midst of a wide and gloomy sea, he would meet and fasten her there. Out of the murmur of half-audible talk one caught a coherent sentence now and then, such as, There! She's over the first reef all right. After a pause, another subdued voice. Her stern's coming down just exactly right by George. Now she's in the marks, over she goes. Somebody else muttered, Oh, it was done beautiful, beautiful. Now the engines were stopped altogether, and we drifted with the current. Not that I could see the boat drift, for I could not. The stars being all gone by this time. This drifting was the dismalest work. It held one's heart still. Presently I discovered a blacker gloom than that, which surrounded us. It was the head of the island. We were closing right down upon it. We entered its deeper shadow, and so imminent seemed the peril that I was likely to suffocate, and I had the strongest impulse to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, to save the vessel. But still Mr. Bixby stood by his wheel, silent, intent as a cat. And all the pilots stood shoulder to shoulder at his back. She'll not make it, somebody whispered. The water grew shoulder and shoulder by the Ledzmann's cries till it was down to eight and a half, eight feet, eight feet, seven and Mr. Bixby said warningly through his speaking tube to the engineer, Stand by now. Aye, aye, sir. Seven and a half, seven feet, six and we touched bottom. Instantly Mr. Bixby set a lot of bells ringing, shouted through the tube, Now let her have it every ounce you've got, then to his partner. Put her heart down. Snatcher, snatcher! The boat rasped and ground her way through the sand, hung upon the apex of disaster, a single tremendous instant, and then over she went. And such a shout as went up at Mr. Bixby's back never loosened the roof of a pilot house before. There was no trouble after that. Mr. Bixby was a hero that night, and it was some little time too before his exploits ceased to be talked about by rivermen. Fully to realize the marvelous precision required in laying the great steamer in her marks in that murky waste of water, one should know that not only must she pick her intricate way through snags and blind reefs, and then shave the head of the island so closely as to brush the overhanging foliage with her stern, but at one place she must pass almost within arms reach of a sunken and invisible wreck that would snatch the hull timbers from under her, if she should strike it, and destroy a quarter of a million dollars worth of steam boat and cargo in five minutes, and maybe a hundred and fifty human lives into the bargain. The last remark I heard that night was a compliment to Mr. Bixby, uttered in soliloquy and with unction by one of our guests. He said, by the shadow of death, but he's a lightning pilot. End of Chapter 7


Hello, what's poppin? We are on twitch. We are live about the time you see this we won't be so just leave a like comment subscribe turn on post Notification bells. Let's continue to grow the family from Chicago to the UK And right now this is a music reaction.  I didn't expect it. You gotta remember, when people is going through that short dread, when people got short dreadlocks, they going through that ugly stage of dreadlocks, that means they humble, and they going as hard as they can. So he better have to come hard, pause. He better be going crazy. Me, I'm gonna pull the line off top of them hotties, still got themes on the easy back sheets. Got friends that hate on the chatty, when they got beef, they need man baggy. Got friends that went on to pay gun, young boys catch you, call it dangerous. I know poor man driving rangers, I know rich man shot in chain, the famous, famous soul for the clout. Now I told man he in it for the numbers, calm down, release the put tracks on SoundCloud, then I go and let my hammer sing like Bow Wow. It muckled I bring. Ah, I used to put tracks on SoundCloud, then I go and let my hammers swing like Bow Wow. So your hammer was a terrible shot. Like what are you saying about that? Do the mystery. In your hood you used to be, I used to. Still work with my hammer sing like Bow Wow. In my hood I bring all the mystery. In your hood you used to be, I used to. Still work with a stick like Zulu. Still A.R. rap on my blue tee. Binge out so much it's clear don't work. But I'm signed to the sheets like Dirk. Put that old old thing on birth, I wonder if that cool in there hurt. I wonder if that cool in there put him in the bed will your man them get their revenge. Do you put him work or sit on the fence? Are you good with your words instead? Were you done for the ends, for the block, for the estate? Have you been on the right, that's a risk state? Chipped in for the whips, for the stingray, all for the madness mixed up. When they get me down on my big name, I'll turn your whole block Syria, Ukraine. Had to work ways up in the future, now I got links all over the UK. Tracture man that throw me the tops. To my hitters in Manion job. Criminals like Sycho, Bob, my Albo, Tekra, your Kroc. Knee in that Wap like Ron and Pocky. BB Algar give me a holla, I ring bird like Swallow Eagle, scratch my head on the legal. EDS to life is evil, I lucky they dropped that people. I coulda turned cabbage right in the acre, thinking about Crod from way back.  Tellin' me schools from my un... Who, who? F is evil, I lucky they dropped that people.  What did he say? I coulda turned cabbage right in the acre, thinking about Crod from way back.  Tellin' me schools from my unknown number.  That's a day in your life for your brother, I'm on the road with the uh-uh. Firm that L big man did a stutter, Wap y'all look like Russia. I had all of my eggs in one basket, But the block run smooth like butter. Shotgun, then shotgun, Tells to hop out the ride when I spot one. A problem is... Cause the saying is, Don't put all your eggs in one basket, But he said, Good, I got them all in one basket, And we still run smoke, go back. That L big man did a stutter, Wap y'all look like Russia. I had all of my eggs in one basket, But the block run smooth like butter. Shotgun, then shotgun, Tells to hop out the ride when I spot one. A problem is a problem, Live and direct, Tell me if you got one. Mask on, black tight like girlfriend. You a man rung, you can call me a rung. Hell of spots, the bush look rotten, The pack's going up north in Scotland. Me, I'm on the border, lying off top in Manhattan. Still got themes on the easy back sheets. Got friends that hate and a chatty, When they got beef, they need man-balty. Got friends that went into Pagan, Young boys catch you, call it dangerous. And no poor man driving rangers, And no rich man shot in trainers. First of all, I don't know who this man is. Never heard of him before. Had no hopes. For the last two days. Whoever this man is, he went crazy. I'm good, you see I didn't even put the Spotify playlist. That's how unenthused I was about this. But the Spotify playlist is located in the description below. You got to be a seven or better to be considered for it.  This feel like an eight. These are coming off real 80 to me. Do you feel me? It could because of like the lack of good drill, but like it's feeling good 80. It's feeling like eight. Tell or leave a like, comment, subscribe, turn on your post notification bells, man. I'm gone.