Stories and content in Weird Darkness can be disturbing for some listeners and is intended for mature audiences only. Parental discretion is strongly advised. Welcome Weirdos, I'm Darren Marlar and this is Weird Darkness. Here you'll find stories of the paranormal, supernatural, legends, lore, the strange and bizarre, crime, conspiracy, mysterious, macabre, unsolved and unexplained. Coming up in this episode, a girl's younger sister keeps seeing things that don't exist until the truth is revealed when older sis is moving out. It's called the Chronovisor and it's said the device can look into events in the future as well as the past. Is it true? We may never know. The Vatican, the supposed owners of the device, are refusing to cooperate when questioned. An Alaskan hunter claims to have found a boy that had been kidnapped, not by humans or aliens, but by a mysterious creature known as the Ursonrat. It's considered to be one of the most beautiful lakes in the United States, but there are also tales of ghosts, a giant lake monster, unexplained disappearances and even murders. That's only a sample of what you might find at Oregon's Crater Lake. Weirdo family member Candace Cardenas tells of a haunting in her mobile home. But first, they are powerful in the supernatural, witches, demons and poltergeists fear them because they are not from our world. The Cherokee call them the Ravenmockers. We begin there. If you are new here, welcome to the show. And while you are listening, be sure to check out WeirdDarkness.com for merchandise, my newsletter, to connect with me on social media and more.  There are many interesting and dangerous creatures in Cherokee mythology. One of them is the Ravenmocker, another one is the body snatcher, a feared cannibal. It is said that the Ravenmocker fell to earth like a shooting star. They are powerful in the supernatural, witches, demons and poltergeists fear them because they are not of here. They are called Ravenmocker because of the cry they make in flight and their dive mimics a raven, but they resemble a shooting star as they fly like a ball of sparks.  They eat out the heart, stealing the time they have left on earth, the person's life force, to add to their own. It is unknown how long they can live, perhaps forever. They will also harvest the body parts of the dead to replace their own decayed limbs. They look like extremely old people. So old the gender is hard to tell, but they are armed with a piercing scream, the ability to fly and fingernails like surgical blades and just as tough. This is why some old people look like they have been stitched many times. If the Ravenmocker is disturbed in their life-stealing or feeding, the person they attack becomes infected and that person too will become a Ravenmocker. There are talismans used to detect them. It is taboo to give specifics, but certain types of bones and feathers from an owl are tied with leather rope in a way that they will shiver when near. Evergreen's smoke repels them. Fire or impaled flesh on sharpened ash wood that has been lightning struck kills them, and also starvation. The one thing the Ravenmocker truly fears is discovery.  If the identity of a Ravenmocker is discovered, they will know that they can't hunt in that area anymore and they will be hunted. So if one is aware that they have been discovered they will use any means necessary to stop that person from talking. There is a race of cannibal spirits who stay at the bottom of the deep rivers and live upon human flesh, especially the flesh of little children. They come out just as the sun rises, going from house to house until they find a home unlocked with the people asleep. Once inside, they shoot them with arrows and carry the body down to the water, feasting on the body once it's submerged. So that no one discovers that the person is gone, they leave a shade or image of the dead person or a little child that wakes up and goes about just as the original did. But there is no life to this one. Growing weaker, sicker, after seven days, it dies. The people bury it and think that they're burying the real person. It was a long time before it was discovered that the cannibal spirits were taking people. And this is how it happened.  The people around him stayed away and avoided his home. We weren't so caring back then. After several days of neglect, the man awoke to find an old woman who he didn't know checking his body, pinching and prodding him. She told him to stay quiet, she'd make everything better. And despite her age and size, she easily lifted and carried the man to the river. When he went under with her, he saw that it wasn't like going under water but like stepping through a room. It was another country just like the world above. She took him to a village with many houses, people and even children. Several hunters came back with game and the man saw that it was people, children being prepared like deer or fish. The old woman took him to her home and said that when he was no longer sick, he would be eaten. She prepared him a meal of child but he couldn't eat that. Then she realized that he couldn't eat what she could and fed him meals of beans and bread. The man did get well and when he thought everyone was asleep, he slipped away back to the upper world. Upon returning home, everyone was shocked to see him saying that they had just buried him. The village conjurers listened to his story and knew that the water had an opening doorway to the darkening lands, the underworld. So the conjurers had the chief make it so when people were sick or dying, others were to stay with them and care for them. They were told to lock their doors before sleeping and to watch over each other to make sure they weren't taken for a meal again.  But suddenly you get that feeling you're not alone. You don't know what might be under the bed or in the closet or in the attic or in the room with you. You don't dare try to sleep now. You're too scared to.  That's just one more reason to have Weird Dark Roast Coffee in the cupboard, because you just never know when you might need it. Weird Dark Roast Coffee contains deep notes of cocoa, caramel and a touch of sinister sweetness. Each bag is fresh roasted to order by Evansville Coffee and delivery is free for your first order. Just use the promo code Weird, you can find a link to it at WeirdDarkness.com. Grab a bag before something else grabs you from the dark. I've always been afraid of my little sister. I know that sounds like I must be a pansy. Jackie is two years younger and she has always been an introvert, but she sees things. Even now at 17, she is still tied to my mom's apron strings, never leaves the house and still sees things. Everyone thinks she's special. She has always told crazy stories and when we were younger, she sometimes got me in trouble by telling our parents the most bizarre things about what she saw. She lied a lot. I was always innocent and she had to try and drag me into it.  Jackie would come down for breakfast in the morning with scratches on her back and face. She'd murmur to herself and we could hear things like, nasty demon. Mom was upset and took her to the doctors who said that she was doing it to herself and was showing signs of schizophrenia. One time, Dad found bird beaks that were still dripping blood scattered and left in strange places around the house. They were stuffed under cushions, inside coffee cups and poking out of air vents. He followed the trail of tiny feathers and drops of blood all the way back to Jackie's room. He went nuts that day. I remember hearing Mom and Dad fight over what to do about Jackie. They sat her down and asked her about the bird beaks.  We were all so terrified of her. I kept my door locked at all times. When I started having nightmares and passing out every time something happened, Jackie was always standing there, staring at me with her pale green eyes. Her messy, orange hair always creeped me out but when she took the scissors to it and did a freaky hack job, I wondered if I would be next. Mom was worried that I was going insane too but when I turned 18, I decided to move out with my boyfriend. I have never forgotten that last day when I was packing my bags and boxes. Jackie sidled up to me and handed me an envelope. She giggled and backed away as I opened it up. When I did, I froze. There were pictures that she had drawn of me scratching her face and torturing animals. I looked up in confusion and saw her pointing at me with an evil grin. Hear the one, Denise. You're the demon. You come to me at night in your sleep. I didn't want to believe it even though I did have a problem with sleepwalking when I was little. She whispered in my ear as I fought back the tears and discussed, keep bringing me the baby birds, Denise. I like the crunch. If you don't, I'll tell and you'll be taken away. I try to keep her happy but now my boyfriend wakes up with scratches all over him. Conspiracy theories run rife around the internet and they will continue to do so. While not every theory that comes to light will stand a chance of there being any truth to it, there is a saying that in every rumor there is always a bit of truth. The Roman Catholic Church headquarters is the latest to have become embroiled in a conspiracy theory as they have in the past. One of the latest of the theories is that the Vatican has possession of a secret device with the name of Chronovisor and they use the device to look into events that will occur in the future along with ones that have happened in the past. A book by the name of The Time Machine was written by H.G. Wells during the 19th century, a book of science fiction which attracted the pseudoscience and scientific communities. The book was popular and some physicists had believed that traveling through time is possible. There is a great deal of controversy though in the scientific community today about time travel, with some scientists saying that they have proof that it is possible to travel in time. A group from the University of Queensland made a simulation in 2015 of how time-traveling photons might behave. They suggested that when at a quantum level the grandfather paradox, which is what would make time travel impossible, might be resolved. They made use of photons, single particles of light for simulating quantum particles traveling back through time. By being able to study the behavior, scientists revealed that strange aspects were possible of modern physics and so concluded that time travel is indeed possible. With this having said to have been established, the rumor about the Vatican owning a Chronovisor is now not so hard to believe. A newspaper in Italy published an article with the title of A Machine that photographs the past has been invented. In the article it alleged that this machine was capable of this and it had the name of the Chronovisor and it had been invented by people inside the Vatican. The newspaper article went on to say that the device allowed the user to look into the future along with past events and the machine owned by the Vatican had one of the biggest and most closely guarded secrets that humanity had. The article was said to have shed light on the time machine publicly however people who were familiar with what went on inside the Vatican did not find the article all that surprising. It said a lot of scientists had been involved in the building of the Chronovisor and that it had been built during the 1950s under the supervision of the Vatican. The man who was said to have led the project was Father Pellegrino Maria Ametti. He was a physicist from Italy who went on to become a priest and is said to have been behind the project. It was said he received important and technical information from Enrico Fermi, the Nobel laureate along with rocket scientist Wemmer von Braun. The newspaper article went on to describe the time machine as being a small object that had many antennae and which was made of precious alloy, cathode tubes, levers and dials. It was said the device could capture important events that occurred in the past and the future at specific locations. Peter Krause, an author from Germany, wrote a book in 1997 that gave more details about the Chronovisor which he called Father Ametti Chronovisor, the creation and disappearance of the world's first time machine. It was said the priest had talked with Krause and told him that he had invented the time machine. Ametti gave confirmation that the time machine was used to witness the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah along with many other events that happened historically. Ametti had said that he had used the time machine to witness the crucifixion of Jesus along with witnessing other people including Napoleon, Cicero and other events that happened in the past and in the Bible. Father Ametti was asked where the time machine was and he would not answer. He would only say that he was not allowed to talk about the location of it or if it was still in use. People who had been close to Ametti have been speculating whether Ametti had dismantled the time machine as he feared it might end up in the wrong hands. It has been reported that Ametti had said that if it should end up in the wrong hands it might be behind the scariest dictatorship to be seen in the world. Father Ametti was also said to have said that Pope Prius XII told them not to disclose information about the device as it could be dangerous and might be used to restrain freedom of man. The Vatican has always denied any claims of owning such a machine and said that if anybody was using such a machine with those characteristics then they would be excommunicated. This led to conspiracy theorists claiming that the church was indeed hiding something. The rumor about the Vatican having the chronoviser is still hanging around the Vatican's neck, whether true or not. An intriguing email hit Bush, Alaska. In it, a hunter from Marshall recounted how he found a boy alleged to have been abducted by the Urchin hack. Urchin hack are a recurring theme in traditional Yupik teachings and legends. Little people who dwell in the tundra usually underground. They disorient, discomfort and trap on weary humans. City folk usually dismiss Urchin hack as superstition. Those who've lived in Yupik country for any period of time tend to be a little more inclined to listen. For one thing, the stories are persistent and often come from respectable observers. For another, when you're by yourself in the middle of nowhere, things happen that are hard to explain. For instance, a few years back on a very remote solo kayak trip in the lower Yukon region, I swear I heard rocks tossed in my direction by unseen hands or whatever. Big rocks, whoosh, plunk, weird, a little scary, and not particularly on target, assuming they were trying to hit me. A close inspection of the presumed point of origin showed no evidence of anything. There was nowhere for anything bigger than a squirrel to hide. I can't say that it was an Urchin hack, but neither can I absolutely refute those who suggest it was. Yupik descriptions of the little people resemble those in widespread stories shared by many cultures around the world. A conference on such creatures is held every year in Twist Washington. Though accounts of sightings or of inexplicable events attributed to Urchin hack are common in western Alaska, they seldom receive wide circulation outside the area. The internet has changed that. I called Nick Andrew Jr. in Marshall, whose email started the latest excitement. He intended it as a private message to a family member, he said, and was a little disconcerted that it got forwarded far and wide. He confirmed the details, however, and gave me permission to use his name, requesting that I keep other names out of print. Andrew was on a snow machine hunting birds the evening of May 7th, some distance out of town, three hours away if he had to walk it, he estimated. Preparing to return home, he decided to check a different location on a hunch. Stopping to look, he said, I saw a small boy all alone in the middle of the marsh. He recognized the child as a boy from the village. I asked him where is his dad or hunting partners. I grilled him with questions of who he was with and if he was alone. He was scared and had been crying. All his answers were, I don't know. He described the boy as disoriented, dazed, confused and scared, with no concept of time. He did not appear tired nor was he hungry or thirsty. But the lad was lucky, it seems. He was found at a spot frequented by large tundra brown bears. Andrew took the boy home, noting that there were no footprints in the spring snow to indicate anyone had walked into the area. He found that puzzling. He counted at least 10 other snow machines in the neighborhood, none of whom had spotted the boy. After getting the boy back to the village, he left his VHS radio on over nights, in case some other hunter reported a missing child. But no one did. It wasn't until the next day that the story started emerging that he'd had what you would call an out-of-the-ordinary experience, he told me. He'd had some missing time, just like people who report being abducted by UFOs. The boy said he was brought into Pilcher Mountain, a site often associated with urchin-hack encounters. There he was questioned and saw other little beings. He said he made contact with a little girl abducted about 40 years ago, Andrew said. She told him who she was and she wanted help. After that, the urchin-hack decided to release the boy. And that's when he came to, I guess, a few minutes before I found him. Andrew maintained calm perspective about the experience. Is this kid telling the truth, he said, leaving the answer open-ended? Responses to the email, by the time it was forwarded to me, treated the news with gravity. Ladies, please share with your husbands or partners, read one forwarder. Please tell your children about urchin-hacks and their deceptiveness, said another. Thank God he found this little boy alive, said yet another. Crater Lake in Oregon is considered to be one of the most breathtaking places in the United States. It is the deepest lake in the nation and its waters are described as unnaturally blue and crystal clear. But despite the beauty of the lake and surrounding park, there are several creepy Crater Lake tales floating around, involving everything from ghosts, UFOs, Bigfoot, a giant lake monster, to unsettling accounts of disappearances, suicides and murders. Supernatural occurrences aside, Crater Lake has a rather extensive history of accidental deaths, suicides and even homicides. In some cases, the bodies are irretrievable, lost in inaccessible wooded areas. This has resulted in more than a handful of skeletons cropping up over the years. Finn J.D. John of Offbeat Oregon details a few of these incidents, such as the story of a World War II fighter pilot who crashed in the park shortly after the end of the war, only to have his skull discovered 30 years later by a park ranger who got lost looking for the plane's wreckage. There have been numerous UFO sightings in the area throughout the years, including an infamous case from the 90s. From the website UFOINFO, on Tuesday, February 4, 1997, at 6.15 p.m., a private pilot flying south of Diamond Lake Junction, Oregon, population 150, east of Crater Lake National Park, saw three disks speeding across the dark sky, pursued by several jet interceptors. There were also reports of a sonic boom later that same evening, one so massive it set off car alarms all over the area. Crater Lake formed from volcanic activity ages ago. While the volcano itself has been long silent, allowing the park to become a popular tourist destination, there are remnants of its former, fiery self still bubbling below the surface. This became apparent in 1945, when the lake began burping up a blueish-gray cloud of smoke or gas that mushroomed over the lake several times from September to December, according to Kernan Turner from a 2009 public radio broadcast. Though these gas clouds were initially a mystery to spectators, in the 1980s, scientists discovered hydrothermal vents at the bottom of Crater Lake. This discovery, combined with several earthquakes that rocked park residents of the 1990s, suggests that the Crater Lake volcano might not be totally dead. The Klamath people, indigenous to the area, hold Crater Lake sacred. They see it as the crossroads between the spirit of above, called Skel, and the spirit of below, called Lao, a fiery and dark figure, basically the devil. According to Andrea Lankford, author of Haunted Hikes, Spine Tingling Tales and Trails from North America's National Parks, Lao and Skel fought gory battles here. Lao ripped Skel's heart from his chest and Skel retaliated by dismembering Lao and throwing the body parts into the lake. Hideous monsters gobbled up everything but Lao's head, but the lake still holds Lao's spirit. When stirred, he may brew up storm clouds. When angered, he may appear in the form of a giant crayfish that climbs up out of the lake, snatches people off the rim of the crater that surrounds the lake and drags them down into the water. Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch, reportedly lives in many areas around the U.S., but the Pacific Northwest region, especially in Oregon, reports more Bigfoot sightings each year than any other state. Crater Lake is, of course, no exception. Weak and weird writer Cody Mayox states Bigfoot himself is known to show up here from time to time. Rangers once reported following a large, dark, putrid-smelling creature through the woods until it started throwing pine cones at them. Crater Lake is also a spot for two supposed Bigfoot deaths, one by car, though the body was whisked away by government agents, no word on whether Mulder and or Scully were among them, and the other killed by train. In this case, the incident was not reported at the time because the men responsible were apparently drinking on the job. From the Crater Lake Institute's website, reporting on an incident from 1947, a park visitor, Mr. Cornelius, suddenly hands his startled wife his billfold and watch as he sits down on a snowshoot near the Old Lake Trail and slides to the lake attempting suicide. Since the fall only broke his leg, Cornelius crawls to the water's edge and drowns himself. No other information on this Mr. Cornelius could be found online.  Dubbed the Old Man of the Lake, a tree stump, most likely a hemlock, has been floating vertically in Crater Lake since 1896. Now sun-bleached and bone-white, the Old Man has confounded park officials all these years, as it not only bobs in the water but it's capable of traveling four miles in a single day, and it's buoyant enough to support the weight of a person standing on top of it. However, John Salinas offered up a reasonable explanation for the Old Man's physics-defying ways in 1996. Some have suggested that when the Old Man slipped into the lake, he had rocks bound within his roots. This might naturally make him float vertically, though no rocks appear to still be there. At any rate, the submerged end could become heavier over time through being waterlogged. Acting like the wick on a candle, the shorter upper portion of the Old Man remains dry and light. This apparent equilibrium allows the log to be very stable in the water. According to Park Ranger Jan Kerwin, she and other officials have witnessed spontaneous campfires on the lake's wizard island that seem to ignite out of nowhere. She details one such instance as told by National Park's travel writer Haunted Hiker. She said, One evening, Ranger Kerwin was patrolling the roads below the rim when she spotted 10 people standing around a roaring fire camping illegally in the forest far from the designated campground. The Ranger parked her car and entered the woods to contact the illegal campers, but when she reached the site she could find no people and no campfire. Somewhat distressed by the campers' furtive behavior, the Ranger got behind a tree and called for backup. The two Rangers searched all over, but they still couldn't find any sign of the roaring campfire or the 10 campers Ranger Kerwin had seen just moments before. Charles McCuller came to photograph Crater Lake's beauty in 1974. He never left the park. His remains were finally located in 1976, but this discovery only raised more questions than answers. All that was left of McCuller was his pants, socks and fragments of his bones, as though the rest of his body had simply melted away. No shirt, no coat, no boots, which is especially strange considering that animals typically don't touch boots. McCuller also had expensive camera equipment with him, but this gear was never found. Could the photographer have fallen victim to foul play? Despite numerous comments on articles about Crater Lake's weirdness insisting that Crater Lake Lodge is notorious for its hauntings, information dedicated to the ghost stories surrounding the lodge are particularly hard to find. About the only descriptive info out there comes from a 2004 Los Angeles Times profile of Craig Peterson, the park's facility engineer and environmental risk officer. A writer of the article, Christopher Reynolds, makes mention of ghost stories about the little girl who roams the halls or the Chinese man in the elevator. Perhaps you just have to stay there and discover the finer details yourself.  As Crater Lake is the deepest lake in the U.S., once even thought bottomless, is it possible a Loch Ness-like monster really lives there? The Crater Lake Institute's website lists a detailed timeline of deaths that occurred in and around the park for the last 144 years. A particular note is the 1952 murder of two executives from United Motor Service, a subsidiary of General Motors. The men's hands were tied behind their backs. They were gagged and led away from their car into the brush beside the road. There the executives were shot in the head, execution style. While it initially appeared as though the motive was robbery, members of the men's families suggest they might have been assassinated for reasons related to their jobs. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, dark thoughts, or addiction, please visit the Hope in the Darkness page at WeirdDarkness.com. There, I've gathered numerous resources to find hope and solutions. For those suffering from thoughts of suicide or self-harm, there's the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, as well as the Crisis Text Line. Both have trained counselors at all hours to help those in need, and the page even includes text numbers for those in the U.S., Canada, United Kingdom, and Ireland. Those struggling with depression can get help through the Seven Cups website and app. And there's information for anyone to read more about what depression truly is and how to identify it through our friends at ifred.org. There are resources for those who battle addictions, be it drugs, alcohol, or self-destructive behavior, along with help for those related to addicts. The page has links to help you find a therapist or counselor, to find help for those who have a family member with Alzheimer's or dementia, help for those in a crisis pregnancy, and more. These resources are always there when you or someone you love needs them on the Hope in the Darkness page at WeirdDarkness.com. This story comes from Weirdo family member Candace Cardenas. We'll call it This Ghost Loves Brass. Here's the story in her own words. My husband, my daughter, and I lived in a rental 1996 double-wide mobile home when I was pregnant with my second daughter. It was a big improvement from our tiny apartment, and we quickly set about making the place our own. The house, though a bit outdated, was nice, and we had no complaints. However, things began to change with the birth of our youngest daughter. My experience took place around 2.30 in the morning. I was asleep in bed with both my three-year-old and my baby. I heard a very loud thud in the kitchen, then silence. My dog also heard it and sat at alert next to the kids. I grabbed a wooden dowel used to secure a faulty window and crept into the kitchen. I saw a big jug of laundry soap sitting upright, eight or nine feet into the center of the room. The laundry had not been done that day, at all, so vibrations were not the culprit. Even so, I could not for the life of me figure out how it would travel that far just from tumbling off the washer. After checking the laundry room and finding everything in order, I relaxed a bit and went to get a drink of water. While standing at the sink, I hear the sound of a trombone play in my kid's playroom. My stomach flipped at the familiar sound of the musical toy. I was suddenly sure that I had actually had an intruder. I grabbed the phone and my wooden dowel and stepped slowly into the room. Nothing. Closet? Nothing. All doors and windows were locked and secure. I stood in the doorway with the toy at my feet, looking around confused and frazzled. BWAM! The toy sounded off again. At that moment, I realized I was likely dealing with something unseen. I said aloud, Okay, I hear you. Hi, now please stop. And I promptly huddled back in bed with my kids. The next morning, I recounted my story to my husband who worked the night shift. His face was blank at first, and then he began to explain that the laundry soap had been thrown into the kitchen twice the night that I was in the hospital overnight, giving birth. We had so many odd happenings in that house, we agree it did not feel malicious, though we certainly didn't like getting the wits scared out of us. We now live in a 100-year-old farmhouse with zero activity. Why that 1996 mobile home was so active, I will always wish I knew. Well, that's how Candice tells the story. But I have to wonder if perhaps this ghost was in the laundry simply trying to whiten the sheet it wears in the dark. Thanks for listening. If you like the show, please share it with someone you know who loves the paranormal or strange stories, true crime, monsters or unsolved mysteries like you do. And please, leave a rating and review with the show in the podcast app you listen from. Doing so helps the show to get noticed. You can also email me anytime with your questions or comments through the website at WeirdDarkness.com. That's also where you can find all of my social media, listen to free audiobooks, shop the Weird Darkness store, sign up for the newsletter to win monthly prizes, find my other podcast, Church of the Undead and more. All stories in Weird Darkness are purported to be true, unless stated otherwise, and you can find source links or links to the authors in the show notes. The Ravenmocker was written by Jeremy Neurigen. Secrets Between Sisters was posted at Backpack Reverse. Does the Vatican have a time machine was posted at Disclose.tv. Abducted by The Urson Rat was originally published in the Anchorage Daily News. The Creeps of Crater Lake is by Christopher Schultz. This ghost loves brass was submitted by Weirdo family member Candice Cardenas. Again, you can find links to these stories in the show notes. Weird Darkness is a production and trademark of Marlar House Productions. Copyright Weird Darkness. And now that we're coming out of the dark, I'll leave you with a little light. Deuteronomy 15 verses 7 and 8. If there was a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the Lord your God has given you, do not be hard-hearted or tight-fisted toward your poor brother. Rather, be open-handed and freely lend him whatever he needs. And a final thought from Albert Barnes. We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning. I'm Darren Marlar. Thanks for joining me in the Weird Darkness. Hey Weirdos, our June Weirdo Watch Party is Friday, June 30th with a movie presented by Saturday Fright Theater.  Our Weirdo Watch Party is on a Friday, not a Saturday, Friday, June 30th. We'll be watching 1982's Rehearsal for Murder, starring Jeff Goldblum, Lynn Redgrave and Robert Preston. In a theater on Broadway, a group of friends remember the opening night of a play where tragically the leading lady was killed. A year later, all those involved in the production are brought back by the dead woman's fiancée, a distinguished playwright, to read for parts in his new play. But his true motivations soon become apparent. He believes she was actually murdered and believes someone he invited to the reading is the murderer. Unless you've seen the film or stage play already, you'll never guess the killer or the ending. This original television movie did so well it even won the Edgar Allan Poe Award in 1983 for Best Television Feature. The Weirdo Watch Party is always free to watch online with all of us, so grab your popcorn, candy and soda and jump into the fun and even get involved in the live chat as we watch the movie. So join us as together we watch Rehearsal for Murder, starring Jeff Goldblum, Robert Preston and Lynn Redgrave. The movie again is Friday, June 30th, starting at 4.30pm Pacific, 5.30pm Mountain, 6.30pm Central and 7.30pm Eastern. See a clip from the film and watch streaming horror flicks and horror hosts anytime, day or night on the Weirdo Watch Party page at WeirdDarkness.com. Hey Weirdos, be sure to click the like button and subscribe to this channel and click the notification bell so you don't miss future videos. I post videos seven days a week and while you're at it, spread the darkness by sharing this video with someone you know who loves all things strange and macabre. If you want to listen to the podcast, you can find it at WeirdDarkness.com.


Hello, my beautiful internet friends. When we talk about videos that are good for YouTube and growth and algorithms and and all that stuff This video is not one of those. I just want to talk to you guys Which is really all I've ever wanted to do on this channel So I'm just gonna talk to you I'm not gonna really edit this video much I'm gonna tell you a pretty personal story because I think this would help me today and here's to hoping it would help Someone else out there a few days ago. Maybe a week ago. I released a video talking about Suicidal thoughts because you know what I'm in a pretty dark place in my life right now in my mind right now And here's the thing. I've dealt with depression for years. This is not a new thing But it's generally something that comes and goes it's kind of like always an underlying current it exists but it's not constant And it has been constant for weeks now and I am really struggling to keep my head above water and Today I was reminded of one other time in my life It felt like this and this is a story I wanted to share with you guys at one point, you know Anyways, and I figured why not today? So Chester Bennington is the lead singer of Lincoln Park was the lead singer of Lincoln Park Lincoln Park is the best been in the world if you didn't know I mean, it's just undisputable They are the best. They've always been the best. I was introduced to them when I was like 13 It was the first non-Christian music that I listened to and I fell in love with it it was just I Felt like someone finally understood me as like an angsty confused 13 year old little girl and I connected with Chester's voice and the lyrics so deeply and I listened to that music all throughout high school through when I you know broke my ankle and recovering from surgeries and going back to school and adjusting to everything and then going away to college and I always felt like Chester was singing and writing songs to me like exactly where I was in life and exactly what I needed to hear and if you listen to so many of their songs Especially their older songs. They're not happy. They are dark songs, right? They talk about heavy things but I Think it was actually it was either Mike Shinoda who's another band member or Chester who said in an interview once that you know Our fans get the music isn't about darkness It's about letting that darkness out of you and not keeping it inside and that's totally what their music did for me It gave me an outlet So that I could get to a better place and I felt like they helped me through everything that I'd gone through in my life About two years ago. I got to the place in my life where things were kind of going. Okay. I'd been married for about two years Which was amazing. I'd worked through a lot of like the trauma that I had gone through it wasn't as Feeling like so messed up and all over the place and depressed and I was like, you know what? I think I kind of got this thing together like I am moving in a positive direction I don't feel like death every day. I can you know get up and actually get stuff done and like this is cool and it was Around that time that Lincoln Park released another album and this one was called one more light and it was in my opinion Their most upbeat happy album. It's a great album. I would highly recommend listening to it and there's one song on it called one more light and I Remember listening to that song Driving around and it's a song about losing someone a suicide It's it's kind of a song to that person who's lost and the people who were left behind and how one life matters like one light matters and I remember seeing that song and like so From a place of strength so Wanting to just like sing that to everyone who was hurting and like let them know that it was gonna be okay And that their life mattered and like I knew that darkness. I knew how it felt to just want to be done And that you could get to a different place and I love that song because I was like I want to help people like I feel like I'm in a great place and then my life wrecked I mean bad bad things happened in my life and relationships Exploded and I was a mess I Plunged into a kind of darkness that I was I Guess kind of familiar with but it was so heavy and it was so fast and that summer I was In a very dangerous mental place But I also don't think I allowed myself to really recognize that and I continued listening to their album, right as I was Fighting for my life, but not really acknowledging that I was I was highly functional. I was working hard I was getting stuff done, but I was so messed up inside and Probably gonna start crying just FYI I I Remember going to work one day. It was after lunch actually and I pulled up to a stoplight and There was It's amazing how I can still get emotional about this. There was a notification on my phone And here's something you gotta know real quick Chester was my personal hero He always sung to me kind of like about holding on You know and that like it was it was worth it even though a lot of their music was was really dark It's like that's what got me through so much and then that notification popped up on my phone that on July 20th, he had committed suicide and I Pulled over my car I just kind of like stared out the window for quite some time and pulled myself together went to work and then came home and Brian left work when he heard that news because he knew how much it was gonna affect me like he didn't even tell me He was coming home. He just like came home to me because he knew that I was not gonna be okay, and I Chester committing suicide affected me so deeply. I never met him. I never knew him, but I felt like he understood me I felt like we were such similar people and he Gave up on life. He couldn't hold on to hope he couldn't see to another day, and it made me feel like that's Maybe that's what I had Not like that's what I had to do But like really does it ever get better, you know, maybe it doesn't get better is like the thoughts that I was having I was in a very extra dark place after that and I Remember looking at his Twitter account This is one thing shifted for me because I think it was two days before he died he posted this picture on Twitter where he Was Smiling with a couple buddies and it was like a retweet of another person's Tweet words are hard sometimes Essentially saying like excited to record with these guys or it was something about the future was something about excited about Upcoming things and then like two days later. He hung himself and People always talk again like I've talked about this before people always talk about like the signs of someone who's suicidal like That they stopped planning for the future and they stopped participating in things They love and he was planning for the future and he was on frickin vacation with his family the day before I think the day of even and like none of the stereotypical signs were there from the outside He looked highly functional and when I saw that that picture on Twitter Things just not storming things just Collided into me things connected so fast in my mind that like holy shit This is exactly what is going to happen to me if I do not take where I am seriously if I do not take my mental health really seriously because I would also Continue to act like everything was fine. I would continue to go about my life. I would Look fine from the outside and then I would just drive off a cliff like I could just see that happening And I don't I can't tell you if that's true or not I can just tell you that I felt it so so strongly and it terrified me Because suddenly it was very real and I saw like the devastation that his death brought and I felt that pain even though I didn't know him personally and I didn't Want to do that to people and I wanted to find a reason to still have hope And so I took things Really seriously after that I took Myself really seriously and started having hard conversations with my counselor and we really dug in and I Started talking very honestly to Brian, which is a terrifying thing And I think scares him still But I think that really sincerely saved my life I Am forever heartbroken that Chester wasn't able to get The help that he needed that he wasn't able to see to another day that you know though what happened happened It's horrible I'm so grateful for the gift of his art that he gave us that he shared with us because it's helped me so much and it still does and Today I was just thinking about that and I was thinking about the fact that I I have felt this way before I have felt this weight before that I feel right now and it was two summers ago when I was going through all that and you know what it got better than and It's so it's so hard to imagine a world in which You don't feel this way when you feel this way like when depression is kicking your ass It's a real difficult to picture a scenario in which It's not in which it's gone in which you feel okay And like you could accomplish things and like you don't have a freaking elephant sitting on your chest of pain and darkness and numbness and all of the things but I Was in that place and I found a way out of it through taking my mental health seriously and getting help and That's what I'm in the midst of right now and I Don't know. Maybe this is a weird and random story to share but It's really therapeutic for me to talk To you guys it makes things make a little bit more sense to me. It gives me a little bit of hope. I so appreciate your Willingness to be vulnerable and share your stories back. Thank you Truly and thanks for watching videos like this Sometimes it's real tempting to just fake it and do things that I feel like would be more quote-unquote successful But at the core of this this is really therapeutic for me and I'm grateful for that and I hope that it's therapeutic for other people I hope that it can help other people too So here's to hoping a very good friend of mine sent me a quote the other day because I was talking to him about feeling hopeless and He said a quote that had a line in it said something to the effect of I am a prisoner of hope and Honestly, that's what I feel like even in the midst of this stuff even in the midst of feeling this way I also know In my heart like at the core of who I am that I am a prisoner of hope and sometimes it feels like I'm Stuck and like I want to escape from hope and I want to give up on it But I won't I can't even say that I'm holding on to hope. I feel like it's holding on to me and If you're having a similar day week month I'm right there with you. You're not alone and we'll both find a way to get out of this We'll both find a way to get through it and take yourself seriously Please take yourself seriously. Please find help that you need whatever that looks like for you Cuz it matters and you matter and I matter Thanks for listening guys. I'm gonna get back to work now. I love you guys. I'm thinking of you I'll see you in the next video