13 years they been together in seventh grade real nigga, but real nigga.  I know you been a guy. He was like He didn't know if it's a the wrong number. He didn't know he didn't my mind.   That's in the middle.  Hey my guy here. I think we got a witness. Hey, what's your name, buddy? Hey? Hey, would you stick? What you see night?      Hey What you yet? He's gone Don't stop This is chair that mad gabbers and then met on it was like look This this the furniture them niggas was sitting on when the doctor came out. Yeah, you have been part of the Tuskegee experience What you fellas have right here is called syphilis. This is the first heroin addict chair right here, right? You better enjoy them chairs. It used to be for white people only That's what I'm saying. We have you should not let niggas sit down in Mississippi.  This is a color chair. Yeah, they got somebody's been sitting here for a while Hey, you saw the whole incident didn't you?  All right This action is performed by all men who are infuriated but refused to put their hands on their woman Mr. John John, what is grab the pistol? No, what is the quick grail? Yes Correct Mr. John John, you didn't see all the women who was like y'all Correct the quick grab Ladies make some noise if you like the quick grab the women enjoy being grabbed which mean they initiate the action With domestic violence Mr. John John stay behind your podium, Mr. John John Mr. John John, Mr. John John, Mr. John John, Mr. John John, Mr. John John, Mr. John John, you have Mississippi Mississippi, we love you We are the 85 South Shore Thank you I like this way you got this fight shit. Yeah That's a different way you got old GD.     He want to run down there for one up. I'm gonna walk down there for all I'll come back Jackson, Mississippi Russian show on YouTube But Jackson we got some special for you tonight if you watch the show on YouTube you already know This is the new kings of comedy Witnesses bring this tonight y'all you guys ready for the show one more time He's a sharpest dress man in comedy y'all Jackson. We got you We got one of your very own from Mississippi in here I'ma give him one anyway He is the creator of black man. Don't cheat This is the game No one's seen, how would see Mississippi and Disney? Mississippi was had there, was had in town. What's up man? While Mississippi, home to the realest niggas you ever seen. Where is the number real niggas that are here. Delicious, y'all lived some real niggas. They think they got a monopole of hats, dude. That's what, that nigga get off of the跳. I'm a kid a nigga with this hat today. Sure nigga. Hey DC, that's the hat Tupac had on and I ain't mad at your video when he was wearing gonna have it. That's what it is. You see, that's a young, that's a young old nigga. He got that hat from his uncle. There ain't any real hat.  Yep, no, he had passed that on the round right here. Shit, we in Mississippi, man. This is my first time in Jackson. I was- Real? This is my first time in Jackson.  Shit, man. I tell you. What's up, Jackson? What up, Drew? What's up with that? What's up with that? I should have need peels. You talking about- I like put it in. I think we got the whole Mississippi here. We got Oxford, Grenada, Hollisbury, Madison, got them, Hattiesburg.  What do you want?   She said Fitzburg, Mississippi. They on the church trip right here. They on the church. Vicksburg. It's all Canadians in here. I'ma tell you what you say. Mississippi real. What's that, the wheels, yeah? Hell yeah. All the niggas that I moved over here for a better living.    Y'all got all the niggas on the police force here.  I just thought it was going to be some white ones. I ain't seen a white one yet.  I'm like, nothing, officer.  Yeah, that man's overprepared. He got on wristbands, a knee brace, two pistols. And a knife. A knife.  And I thank y'all for bringing black police officers, because I know y'all got some white ones. The white ones didn't want to come. They're like, nah, we're going to let you boys have that one. We've already looked at the 85 South Shore. We don't want no parts of that. He said, I'm going to sit my wife down there and make sure everything's straight. Sit her right on the edge of the front row. Anybody have a seat? She ain't the police, but she a 911 dispatcher. Hold on, sweetheart. We're going to get you some help right over there. I promise you, sugar.   You can cancel that.  That's why you got to record it. You having a good time? Yes! See, I told you. Shit. That ain't going to work. It ain't going to work. This is Mississippi. They threw all that out. Well, that's not going to hold up. She was under distress. Yep, he put a camera in her face.  She told me to go on the jail.  All these thick, fine motherfuckers we got.  Don't do that.  Here we go. That's the truth.  I went to y'all mall. Which one? I went to both of them. I went to the outlets. That was all right. But that other one, I forget what the name of it is. Lindbergh? The one that smelled like a funeral home. Northburg? Northburg. Yeah. That motherfucker, boy. North Park. Yeah. You shouldn't park at that motherfucker. You should just drive. Keep driving. I'm telling you, Mississippi has a J-hit different, bro. I know. We got real booties. Let me show you one. When I went to North Park. You want to see a real ass? I want to see a real Mississippi at MI, cookie letter, cookie letter, I, cookie letter, cookie letter, I. Humpback, humpback. Hopefully you're a girl from Mississippi. Look at these booties. J-hit different. Watch this. She old. She look like a civil rights leader. No, she don't. I've been wrong. No, she not. Her top half, bro. Your bottom half, 40, nigga.   It's a walking potato.  From a them greens.   Got a fatty. They been eating them greens.   They been eating them greens. You said that one with the big booty. With the big, big booty. With the what? You said a little one with the big, big booty. Potato head! With the big, big booty. Big, big booty. Big, big booty. With the big, big booty. Yes. Yeah. The Mississippi booty's just hit different out there. Yeah, I was walking through North Park.  Ain't nothing but a footlocker, but I can get some shoes, nigga. I can get some shoes for these asses, just be flies a motherfucker with the shoes and a shirt to say, keep it 100, because that's all they had in that motherfucker.  She can't walk in them heels. Yeah, I'm on bail. Ass, bail, weight down on them heels. They can't get around it.  She must have been in jail for a little bit. Hey, Lose, how do you say this, the name of this place? It's Jackson, right? No, no, no, the place we in.  I've been saying it wrong.  Die your what?  Oh, talking about this building, I don't know.  Shit.  You ain't got to say it right, nigga. Know what you talking about?  What's the name? What's the name of the venue? I don't know.     No, for real.  Yeah, I've been saying it. I've been saying it. They was like, what is show at the Night Chico?     Damn. Got some real niggas in here. What's up, lamb green titties?    That's what I like. Yep. They can build, like, a Sprite can. I like it. Mm-hmm. She got her waist trained on the outside. She got her waist trained on the outside. She ain't even trying to hide that motherfucker. That's how they arm swing when they got their waist trained. Why she got it on the outside?  Why would you wear a waist trainer to a comedy show? What are you gonna fart? They got their waist trained and got your entrails too tight. They said waist trainers are starting to hold a lot of acid reflux. That what they say? Because they can't swallow. She get stuck in the chair.  Just smile.   Babe, go get us something to eat. Mississippi, man.   God damn. Then you got to show her grandma the snake. Bitch, y'all a little right here. That was under your purr. It was under your purr, right there by the house. God damn. You got to be tomb raider.  Bitch, you just going to get bit.  Shit.   You just wake up at 7 o'clock.  Brother Freddy. Why y'all screams look like that? Cause they old. They old. They look like glue and dirt. They just chain rocks. Mixed together. That's what it look like when they changed it. What it look like before they changed it. Nigga was a gravel road.  Hey listen, Vlad, that's a good point. I don't know what it is they feeding you Mississippi niggas, but you niggas strong from birth. I took a picture with a nigga that couldn't been no more than 7 years old in the mall that that nigga gave me fire. I was like nigga, but you want to fight?  Why you so strong? You can't help but be. You like what's up Chico? I'm like what's up little man? How you doing? You can't help but be swole if you live in Mississippi. This is the last place you can get three chicken wings for a dollar fifty. From where? The gas station nigga. Damn. Gas station. You can pull up and get a whole seven piece and three pieces of bread for two dollars.  Right. You want a chicken? Hold up. I'll be right back. They always talk about. Got a couple of heads back here.  What's that? Got down obesity. Okay. Teenage pregnancy. Damn. And what else? Obesity. Obesity. Teenage pregnancy.  That's it.   That's it. That's it. That's Mississippi.  Well I come down to my six hundred pound life in Mississippi. Because there's two men in mother fuckers that weigh six hundred pounds down here. They have a whole documentary.  But that's the thing. Nobody ain't sad that they fat.   I can like something wrong with fried chicken on your stomach. Niggas ain't nothing like that.      What?   I'm not watching this. I can't watch that show. I can't do it. I can't. I can't.  I don't know how they do it. They cheer you to just be described. I'll be watching it.   What you want? I got 20 on the roof nigga. What you think? Then they get that minivan and take all the seats out the back and got to drive three hours to the facility that they take care of. Mother fuckers be in the back of the whole van.    It's only one footlocker here nigga. Any of them will fail. You don't know what's wrong with that nigga.  All right now let me get a left. We ain't got that. Well let me get the nine then. I need that. That nigga got bit by a spider. Acting like he got shot. You all right? Yeah man. You know niggas always taking over the niggas. You know your bed she's dirty. Everything. Everything. Oh yeah man. I went through a hotel. I ain't gonna say which one it was. Say it.    What? I walked in the room. All I heard was I was born by the river in a little tin tin hole. Just like the river I've been running. I'm like it's some ghost in this motherfucker. I can smell it.  I'm leaving. Nigga I don't understand like Mississippi got some of the realest niggas real because you got one of them right here. Right. This is my brother. One of the realest. But. The realest. They don't give y'all the credit. Like I don't know if a lot of y'all know this most of the famous gangsters throughout history of the United States then came from Mississippi.  Chicago. They didn't rent other places and just blew up other places. But most niggas that's real gangsters come from out of Mississippi somewhere. And I see why. Because I just seen a lot of you gangstands niggas and Jackson today. I don't know who tattooing faces but they must got a discount. Because a lot of you niggas is you just putting it right on your face.   They ain't.  What they get them for. They ain't the niggas you got to worry about. Who you got to worry about. Them old niggas. This Mississippi.   Them old niggas. Okay. All right. Okay.    You don't believe me. Ask your daddy about me.   That was me. Look at that nigga. He had a flash. He had a goddamn rake. That's why I told that nigga just like that other thing.  Bitch come take it then. Mother fucker.  You drive trucks. What you do? What you do? You work at a university. Wish university. Sound like a custodian nigga. What do you do? Well you know I work at a school. That's what I do. You cut grass at the university. Nigga you got the best job at you.  What's your name? That nigga got that stump. Your Anthony? Oh my name Anthony. What's up Anthony? Anthony the grass cutting man. That's what's up.  You probably know how to put the grass and everything. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey now. Oh look you ain't hear what that nigga said when you stand there. When Chico said you probably know how to put the lads in the grass and everything. That nigga said you saw.   You saw. That's what I do. Which university you work at bruh? Old level. They cut grass. Anyone that got grass. Southern Miss. Shout out to Haddysburg.  You ain't got no ride long. Y'all got it. You got a whole walkie. Nah, just give me a minute. It's the copyright. I know what's going on.  Nah, that's how the other nigga got it started. They call him. We can't nobody else start it. Get Anthony on the phone. We need some help.  And we'll just say we're wrong with it. Man, it won't start. I've been trying to crank it. Move out of the way. See, what's wrong? You got to put your foot up like this.  You don't pull straight up. You got to pull out. Then up. So instead of going like this, like you did, that's the wrong way. You're going to throw your back out.  What you got to do is you got to come out. Then up. What did I say? What did I say you got to do? I said you got to come out. Fuck, you got to come out. But when I came out, it got stuck. No, no, no. See, you ain't putting right. Okay. See, you got to come out first. Okay. See, that's the angle right there. You come out first.  You hear that? You hear that click it?  No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come up. Don't touch that. Don't touch that. Don't touch that cover. Don't touch that cover. Okay. That's how little learn loses fingers. Okay. Okay. Little learn loses fingers like that. Okay.       Everything in here from Mississippi. No, you can't fix no goddamn line more until you get down on one knee. Like your granddad. That's the first step you do. The first step is you got to get on one knee.  If you don't get down on one knee. See, I ran over a rock. See, that what happened. I hit that blade and I ran over another rock. No, it ain't. No, it ain't. Shit. Hell. I seen it. But I'm saying. I seen it because when I ran over it said, bye. It went that way.  I was with him. Well, tell me what to do. Okay. Well, go ahead then.   I bet you. I get this motherfucker. First year. I bet your trip to no pop mall.  She you can keep that motherfucker.  No way.  I tell you that.  Get your tool. Get your tool. Get your tool, Larry. I got my. What you want to bet? I get that motherfucker file for the first.  I bet your breakfast. I bet your breakfast. Watch this. Tony. No, Tony. I want to bet too. I want another bet too. What you want to bet, mother? I bet your fifth of goddamn. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Make it worth my while. Up that bed. MD 2020. You got some MD 2020. Hold on. Hold on. The beach. The beach. Man. Oh, man. I told Elizabeth to answer.  That great hit like coolie.   Cause I got to cut the university. Y'all ready? We ready? You got the prime in three times.   I did that already. I told you that's how little I love you.  Goddamn it.  I told you. You know what he didn't do? He was supposed to come out and up. Watch this. Watch this. Now you see what he did. He told you he did all that. Now I told you what to do. Now I ain't had to touch nothing. Watch this here. Radio off in your car, man. That's what it was. I couldn't hear the motherfuckers. I couldn't hear what it sounded like. You had to goddamn radio, brother.  They're going to try to trick me to get the radio running. So I couldn't hear it goddamn. Now I'm going to start. Motherfuckers, you know I know what I got to do. Here we go right here. All right. One, two, up. And out. There it is. Right there. There it is. Uh-oh. We're not. We're not. We're not. We're not again. See, I told you. You got to prime it. You got to go back. You got to hit it. Is everybody just working the goddamn gunner? Come here. You do what you do and you do what you do. All right. All right.   I'm a choker. You hit the goat. Hold up. Yeah, I hit that. Excuse me. There we go. Damn it. Motherfuckers, all right, let me know before I hit the blade. You ready to go. The same time, everybody. Here we go. One, two, one, here.  I told you. I told you that's how you do that.  No, almost but... Let me see it. Let me see it. You try. It looked like that before you did that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh no but I worked for the universal. You did, you put it on, you put it on your work insurance. I should look. Now you have a day in the life of Anthony. That's how that nigga work every day. Hold up, bro. We gotta see who we got in here. Oh, we got some people in here. Big ol' titties, right here. Boom! Right here. Two 18 willows, right here. Wow, wow. That's your lady right there, G? That's your wife? That's your wife? Stop looking at that man. Wife titties! I ain't looking at them. I ain't did nothing. You happy as a motherfucker, boy. I know how long y'all been married. 13 years. 13 years. You right there. 13 years. 7th grade. Real nigga, boy. Real nigga. You a real nigga.  Because you let her answer. A nigga sat back. I know you been a guy, he was like... He didn't know. I don't know if I'm going to say the wrong number. He didn't know. In my mind, we been together for two guys there.  Look at his shoulder.  That's what make the Mississippi nigga so strong. That's 10 mil. I get it. Nah, she got second titties.  Walking like a zombie, nigga. Hit that tittie milk out the saggy titties.  It's hard to get that last little bit of juice. You be squeezing that. You got to turn that tittie upside down.  Salute to the lady right here that got the... The 85 social shirts that she made. DC, you look like... Boy, you got... I look like Osmosis Jones. She got you a mean French mustache. I don't even have a face.  You like Carl Thomas on that motherfucker.   Yeah, I know. She got me looking like I just pulled up the North Park Mall.  We got real... Shout out to all the niggas they used to run real fast but you had to take your shoes off first.   That's Mississippi. That's your country, nigga. Period. On that gravel road. Hey, what, nigga? You got to need that groove. You got to have them toe. That toe got a groove.  You need that. That's why these niggas got feet like UFC fighters.  Running for the police? Man, these black police officers ain't chasing nobody. See, that's the difference. Jackson niggas shoot back at the police. There ain't gonna be no goddamn... D-niggas been crazy down here. Damn. Jackson niggas bust at the police. Niggas bust a U-turn in the middle of the goddamn street. Loop back and shoot her. The niggas shooting at us. Come on, pussy-ass niggas. Them niggas got to be cousins. Ain't no way in the world, them niggas got to know each other.   That's great. Ass end up in the Claren Ledger. On the front page, a niggas shoot out at the police. Jackson said, look at the police. He agreed. Yeah, them niggas will shoot back. I guess that's why they put niggas in there. What made you want to be a black police officer, sir? Because I think we have broke a record. Hold on, Chico. I got to ask this niggas what made him want to be the police. Why you do that? You don't even know. Just want to be a superhero. Hey, I think we broke the record for all this furniture album. Right.   They were like, look. That's the furniture them niggas was sitting on when the doctor came out. Yeah, you have been part of the Tuskegee experiment. What you fellas have right here is called syphilis. This is the first heroin addict chair right here. Right. You better enjoy them chairs. They used to be for white people only. That's what I'm saying. They used to not let niggas sit down in Mississippi.   This is a colored chair. This is the original furniture right here. You can tell this leather. Right here. That's awful.    This is the original furniture that be at your auntie house. They used to be on drugs but she ain't no more. This is a good reading chair. This is a newspaper chair. Nah, you know what you watch on this couch?  That's the only thing you watch. In the heat of the night. In the heat of the night. I used to hate that. Man, me too.  They used to call niggas niggas on that show that you can feel it. Listen here.   This is my auntie playlist. Matlock. Murder she wrote.    Do you want to tell me the one with Bruce with the nigga name here? Bob Barker. What's the other nigga? Not Drew, the black nigga. Wayne Brady. No, we talking about the old price. That nigga crowd keep getting small and small.  Welcome to the prices right? Right. Them old shows. I'm talking about them old TV shows.  What you say? It's that Sanford and Son couch right here. Will of fortune. Yeah, of course. Will of fortune. Jeopardy. I remember niggas in my house used to watch Jeopardy and just yell out answers that wasn't right like they would smile. Oh, I know that nigga.  What is a phosphorus root? Phosphorus root is correct.  That is for 2000. Told you I wouldn't go.  I ain't never got one of the bitches right. Ever. Never. What is, I be like uh...  But when you do know the answer I know that, that's a goddamn odd. Yeah, that's Nelly right there. That's the question you know. Who was the one that made the phrase dirty D-E-R-T-T-Y famous out of St. Louis? The music keep going, you know you got it wrong. You like right nigga, right? Am I right motherfucker? I said what is Nelly? Oh, correct Nelly. Uh... You didn't have that much.  I wager $2,000. Who is Murphy Lee? We're sorry, Murphy Lee is not correct. Same crew but different rapper. I want to go with uh... Harry Coochie for... Harry Coochie for $400. This method of shaving is used by black women who are about to receive penis that they did not know was coming. What is hold on right fast? Nope. No, hold on right fast is not the correct answer. What is a baby wipe? Baby wipe is correct. Ha!  They get that tang off. Keep going. The next category. Mr. John John. You got the correct answer. I got to hear it again. Uh... Shit. Mississippi is not racist for $1,000, please. Mississippi is not racist for $1,000. Okay, first answer. In the state of Mississippi this is considered outrageous and an outlaw no matter what it is you do.   Mr. Miller, you have gotten the correct answer. Next category. Can we go back to Harry Coochie for $600? Harry Coochie for $600. This excuse is used by a woman who has forgot to go to her waxing appointment. Yet she is still going to allow you to come to the home. All right.  Exactly. For $600, Mr. Miller is correct for Harry Coochie. Can I speak on that? Okay. Ladies, could you please stop saying that? Because grown men eat nine ladies that don't fell on the floor. With the paper still on them. With the paper still on it.  Come on. All right. Mr. Miller, you have the correct answer. Next category. Can I get titties for $200? Titties for $200. I didn't see that. All right. It's over here in the corner. Okay. This act is done by all women who have a breast size over C when they return home from a long day of work. Ah! Mr. Junjun. It comes out there bra and hit the floor like this. Correct for $200. I thought the correct answer was what is scratch right here under that tittie? Also correct for $200. What is get the deodorant residue from right here? Also correct for $200. You guys are on a roll. Mr. Miller, since you answered first, you are allowed to get the next category. I'll take the daily double. Can I get baby mama drama for $1,000, please? Baby mama drama for $1,000. Okay. Here is your answer. This is said by all baby mamas once she finds out that another woman has entered the picture. Ah! Mr. Junjun. I can't stand. Mr. Miller.  Correct for $1,000. Correct for $1,000. All right. Next category. Mr. Miller. Next category. Mr. Miller, where would you like to go? I'd take child support for $300. Child support. Daily double. All right. I don't know nothing about that. Child support for $300. Here is your answer. If you have a question. The answer is what you have to give, Mr. Junjun. Let me do my job. All right. This is said by all men who receive a court order to appear for child support. I got it. What is it, Mr. Junjun?  You're going to put them folks all in there like that? Correct for $300.  All right. All right. Mr. Junjun, we're not going to commit any murders here. All right.  Okay. All right. Speaking of hit the bitch, I'll take domestic violence for $400. Domestic violence for $400. All right. This action is performed by all men who are infuriated but refuse to put their hands on their woman. Mr. Junjun. What is No. What is the quick grab? Yes. Correct. Wait, stop, stop, stop.   You didn't see all the women who was like, y'all. Correct. The quick grab. Ladies, make some noise if you like the quick grab. The women enjoy being grabbed which means they initiate the action in the first place. Would you like to stay with domestic violence? Mr.  No. Mr. Junjun. Mr. Junjun. Mr. Junjun. You have to stay behind your podium. No. Stop talking on microphones.   It's not funny. It's not funny. Actually, there are some women here right now going through it, scared to laugh because their man has their hand on their shoulder at this moment. Make some noise.  No.  No, she had to leverage. Stop playing. Mr. Junjun. I'm glad you said that. Mr. Junjun. Stop playing. I can't breathe. Mr. Junjun. Stop playing. He's going to sleep. He's going to sleep.   You can't get loose.   You know her. What she say?    You don't get loose. I bite her arm. She ain't going to feel like... Because between them arms and that titty, you going to sleep, boy. Because the titty feel like a pillow, but the arm got muscle in it. It's about five women on this front row.  I know she ain't going to let her nigga go. Bitch strong as a motherfucker. Titties ain't playing.  Then look at her sister right here. Look at them shoulders on that.  What you been letting me go?     Motherfuckers say nowhere. Where you going? What you want to eat? Nowhere. Where you see yourself bed in five years? Nowhere. What you do for a living nowhere? You play football? Nowhere. You play for the church? You play for the nowhere? Nowhere niggas, they live.   Who you play for, G? Hardcore? No, all corn. All corn. All corn state. That's a school? Damn. Say that then.  You in college? There ain't no way you supposed to be in college. You a grown man. You drink one of these on course. You just turned 20.  That's the baby you were talking about. Right here. That nigga was 7 earlier today. Now he's 20 and play for Alcorn. That nigga is 20. You a 20.  You 39. Where you from, bro?  That nigga 20. Yeah, I'm Gulfport niggas. That green-ass water, he just look grown. Niggas ain't Gulfport.  They got fish down there with human feet on them. Can't even feel. We got a fish in there. Hey, remember you was telling me about Mississippi. You was telling me about the Delta. There you go. Oh, y'all. Y'all hear from the, no, from the Delta. Oh, I thought again. It's eroded. From the Mississippi Delta. It's one of the roughest places in America. It's so rough down there. They got a mother-fucking truck that come out every day at 6.30 and spray for bugs. Them mother-fuckers got a bug truck. Everybody down there gonna have counsel. Right. They spraying that old-ass bug spray, just a smoky-ass truck coming down the street. I think that must be why I drove through coming down here, because them bugs were so big. I was hitting on the highway. It sounded like it was raining outside.  Y'all need to get the National Guard down. This mother-fucking for them bugs. Hell, yeah, they changed it back. I said, I'm talking about fifth. You know damn well, Joe need that road to check. My expectations low. I just want vision to stay wet with the fan. A poor city kid. Just try it, man, wanna. He has the number one song in the country. The ladies love his songs and the thugs love his raps. It's the one and only Roach Romeo. Romeo. Hey, what's up, everybody? Thanks for having me. I appreciate the opportunity to be up here rocking out with y'all. Roach Romeo. I see you got the world famous pink rat fur coat on the day. Got the shades on with your faith on it. You getting that bread, huh? Hell, yeah, the crust and everything. Shit, I'm trying to get a whole loaf, you feel me? Yeah, I was definitely going to say I'm here looking real good, Romeo. You know I'm at the give me one of them furs. Matter of fact, I'm going to need like 45 furs. You know I got a lot of kids.  I know you see the drip. Matter of fact, I got the new rat fur line coming out. We got rat fur socks. We got rat fur headbands. We got rat fur everything, man. You know what I mean? Salute to my rat fur plug. You only can get that if you come through Roach Romeo. You did. Yeah, let's move on. I'm going to do breaking heart, stacking my chips, you know, crawling through the chips. If you got a bag of chips, I'm going to crawl all through there. That's why I got all these crumbs on my rat fur, you know what I'm saying? I just got out of bag of salt and vinegar just a little while ago. I'm really out here, man. I like to get my crumbs and stay away from the crumb snatchers. You know, because there's a lot of crumb snatchers out here. You know, they want what I got. They can't have it, but they can try Roach Romeo. Now, who talking about when you say crumb snatchers? Because I'm here in the big rocky dip, and it sound like you want smoke. Big rocky about that life, though. He pulled the wings off that Roach, and it was just a torso left.  That's a big rocky still dress. Like, it's 1999, man. He looked like he's supposed to be signed to somebody that went ick or something like that. It's one of those noises. I can't really get the noise down, but, you know, that dude ain't nobody to be afraid of, man. He a broke Roach. He's still standing at busted motel that we all come from. How can I be worried about somebody who ain't even been able to get himself out of the situation? But you see my coat? Do you see... No, answer my question. Do you see my coat? Yeah, yeah, I see. You know how hard it is to get a rat to give you his fur? We don't even usually get along like that. I'm the first one to bridge the gap between Roach and rat. I'm the Roach and rat gap closer, you know what I mean? So I ain't got no reason to be worried about it. I got everybody love me, Beatles, ladybugs. I don't even want to talk about the ladybugs. You think I got to worry about big rocky, man? Dude, this is a sucker, man. What's the next question? For why you got all this security, Romeo? Now I heard a rumor that you hired an actual human child to swat away any bug that tried to approach you. Is that true? No, no, no, man. Ain't nobody got no security for all that. I can't help it that humans appreciate me and want to be around me. I can't help that. This is a person whose house I live in now. This ain't no regular security. This white man that I got with me, he makes sure that everything that I need to be done is done. And he's stepping on everything that come in my way. You know, and I deserved it. I didn't build the legacy. I didn't build the brand.  Roach Romeo, man. Look at my coat. So how did this beef stuck? Because you don't seem like the type of roach you'll just be picking on somebody. Especially somebody as big and crazy as him. You know he could fly, right? Hey, big Rocky. Hey, man, you did your thing out there, bro. Man, way to go up there and turn up, bruh. That's what I'm talking about, man. I love your work. Yeah, I know. Pull them wings out the mold and go crazy. Hey, yeah, you know we had all the holes jumping screaming so loud. I'm talking about dropping lava sacks everywhere. They just passing out. Koochie juice everywhere. Acting a slit on some too. It's my face, sweet.  No, no, Reggie. You good, man.  There might be beauty to see. Rocky, what's up with your boy, man? What's wrong with him? I said look at my face. Come on now. All the roaches.   Let's go ride, man. We'll find some holes. Man, is that your definition of shutting up? God damn. Anyway, I ain't worried about that dude. I do need some help, man. But look, what's up with that feature we're supposed to be doing, Big Rocky? I mean, you already know I'm in the studio. I got a big hit, man. I would love for you to be on, man. It's my theme song. It's Roche Romeo. Got a real nice tune to it, man. I'd love for you to jump on that with me, man. We're gonna knock it out. Shit. No, you be acting too light-skinned.  This nigga talking about a collab.  Shit, why are you laughing? What? Oh, come on, Big Rocky. What are you talking about, man? Come on. Stop tripping. We're in front of all these different type of bugs. We're in public like this. Chill out, man.  You heard of me.   You ain't following me back on the Rochebook or the Rochegram. You a hater.  Didn't tweet your album? Man, did we not just share a bag of hot cheetos together yesterday? You tripping off the internet?   Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. You a hater. That's what it is. You want Big Rocky spot.   Uh-huh.   Nigga, I don't know. Probably. No, no, no. I need more clarification on that. Because I did hit a Roche that kind of was built like you. And I need to know if that was your sister. Because I'm sorry, but can you give me a little bit more description? Does your sister have a crooked wing and like one of her legs is kind of bent? Like she got stepped on and lived?  And if I see you again, I'm going to slap you so hard. Nigga, the palm reader going to be able to tell me my future by looking at the side of your face.  With the other hand, because I know you.  Probably ain't never going to be one.  All the real roaches know what it is.  I crawl right out in public. All on the TV, all on the cabinet, all up in the kitchen. Nigga, this is my house. Y'all just live here. You really just not jumping off the porch. Ain't that right, Lil Reggie?   Lil Reggie. Why you always smell like deputy 40?   Yeah, uh-huh. And stay away from my sister too. And my window. Sneaky motherfucker. Well, that's how it happened, man.  That's how it happened. And ever since then, we'd have been beefing. Well, you know what? I won't even say that we beefing. How can I beef? I eat beef, baby.  These roaches, they don't even know what that type of stuff tastes like, man. They still crawling and eating what's on the floor. They ain't never had that. Listen, man, I sat at a table with six human beings and enjoyed Tata, T-A-R-T-A-R. You ever seen that before? You haven't because you not like me. And that's what I'm saying. I do what I do for the people and I do what I do for the love of the game, man. You know what I'm saying? I'm supposed to be up here promoting my new single, Love in the Serial Box, man. Which is a hit. So I ain't worried about Big Rocky, man. May God bless him. You know what I mean? I wish him the best. I don't got no problem with Big Rocky. Because at this point, we in two different weight classes. My weight classes. Rap for her, baby. You know what I mean? I appreciate the opportunity. But just be on the lookout for Love in the Serial Box. And be on the lookout for my album, Roach Romeo. Yeah, well, we all know the record up here. It's Scrape Fire. So shout out to Roach Romeo. Thanks for coming out. Be on the lookout for that new single, Love in the Serial Box. And for the record, Big Rocky, if you're out there listening, I don't think that this part. I just sing the hook. I don't want no problems.   He ain't really active out here. All the real roaches know who really running what's up. You know what I'm saying? He got a little show coming up.  Look pretty motherfucker.  But we got to get in the studio first. Look, you got to make a response record. You know if we don't drop in 24 hours, they're going to say we lost the battle.  What you got? What you got? Let me hear some. Man, this is something that Pussy N***a has wrote.  Go ahead.      Go on to jail. Got another one too.  Pussy n***a tried me, because a n***a can't fly.     Roaches.    I hear it. Don't talk about what you is telling on yourself. You going.  Push cracks.  I went over to her mama house, walked into the kitchen. My fuckers ain't had no kitchen flow. It was just dirt. Damn. In her house? In her house. It was just dirt in her house. It was just dirt kitchen. God damn. How did you end up over there?  Yes. Shit. They playing hide and go seek. Bet you can't find me. You want to see a magic trick? Yep. N***a be in there like, I'm about to smack you. Shit. No, you're not.  I agree. Yeah, it is called the zoo. No, it ain't.   It like y'all want to move, but y'all can't.     I'm gonna tell you y'all gotta make a change, man. Like y'all real n****s. So when y'all leave here, try to make a change if y'all can. They ain't leaving.    Nowhere.  I'm telling you, this is a different place.     That's the city dog. Shit. That's the outside dog. This is sipping n****s. Don't buy no dog. It just be a dog in the yard. They be like, mama, can we feed it? I guess. He got rabies. Don't do that. They say I always say all dogs have rabies.      He just give you that look, n****. I'm not biting nobody, can you? If you got anything left, chicken bone, whatever, my n****. I won't even come over there. I know. I know. I know. I see you with the motherfucking dope fang dog, n****.   But we'll holla at you, they said, all right, all right.    Squirrels, nigga.     Squirrels let you know when the police come. They be like, they coming.    Squirrels. Why not, nigga? Because, man, you don't know what they do.   It's not gonna do that.  And what do squirrels want?   Man, I come from a lot of niggas. Y'all got, like, a squirrel population.  They just in your house, squirrels, nigga.   That's because it ain't none. Ain't none.  We ain't got no buildings. They just be buildings? We ain't in the building.   Man, I'm going to New York.  They looking at building. They got live by a grocery store.  Hold up, wait a minute, man. What you going through? I saw you holding that titty. You okay? She put something in it. No, she was holding it, but it was upside down like she was about to feed somebody with it. What are you doing? Oh, okay. I take it. You put it, okay. I will take it. No, we are titty. The titties is set up for success. You see them? Because they up half, then the little stomach holding them up. Yeah. She got that nice build, nice setup. Where you from? Tittyville. Natchy. She got that. Oh, she got that tongue thrust. Natchy. That's one thing. You know the head girl. What's your name? My name's Fesha. Fesha. Fesha. Ah, what's up, Fesha? What's up, Fesha? She talk like a librarian. You love me? What, what, what did you say? I'm a needy. You live in New Orleans? Live in New Orleans?  I live in New Orleans. What did you say? Say Sprite. Say Sprite. I need Sprite. She said, she said Sprite. Sprite.   A little bit with a little green. Like yeah, I like green. When the tongue sit on top of the teeth like that.   That's what's up with me, ma'am. I like her. Love it. Ooh, I love her. She said, I live in New Orleans. You hear what she said? I live in New Orleans.  Say it again. Will you live it? See that my heart, bitch, you heard it. Look, she on Facebook. Never mind. Yeah. Say it, oh, y'all so big. What you for? Say it again. We like it. Salute to all the ladies in here that got gold teeth. Love to y'all. It's about four of them. Yeah. Well, I mean, they might not have came to the show, but they was out in the streets today, boy. I'm talking about big goals. Looking like Project Pat. I'm like, hey, ma'am. What's up, Chico?  I'm like, not with you, ma'am. You got, you got all goals.  Project Pat. That's what she look like, nigga. She did.  I was like, boy.  I'm gonna get killed myself.   All gold teeth, nigga.  Now you got a staff infection. You like, damn.  Yes.  Smoke all day, book all night. I like it, gangsta bitch, though.  She come out, she already in the driver seat. Come on, baby, I already got the car going. Come on, come on.   Uh-uh, y'all ain't been to my man. You ain't been to do that, uh-uh, babe.   White lady, you helped your man fight? I've been getting niggas up for years. You helped your man fight, white lady. No, she's getting her car locked the doors. Down here. She helping fight, she helping. She helping fight the charges. I got a lawyer that's great, all right? You just sit down there for another two days. I see the question, she's like, God, no. God, no. You would be surprised.  A big back. Got her car.  White lady, you really wouldn't help your man fight.  She thinkin' about it. Why not? She likein' it. Look at all the gangsta bitches.  You gotta help your nigga fight.  We in motherfuckin' Mississippi, you better help that nigga fight. You ain't gonna help him. You know white people have a roll raise. That's what y'all fight in the middle of the street.     Pull over.  Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.  Get out. Come on.            You want to come over here and look at this bumper. This bumper is red.  Hey, hey, hey, hey.  I got one more time. Come at me, bro. Come at me, bro. Come at me, bro. I have one more time.       You'll do what?           Come on. Come on.  Hey, man, y'all go ahead. Man, y'all move, man.  Hey, man, y'all go forward, man.   Call the cops. Call the cops. Y'all move, man. Y'all go ahead with all that, man. Y'all get out the way, man.    Damn, no.   Bruh, you let it get you, bro. Why you let it get you?  John 316. For God's sake, love the world. But he gave his only begotten son.  Man, why you doing like that, bro?  That's right. That's right. Shout out to Anthony at the university that cuts grass. Yeah.   Move your car, bruh. Hey, you want to go get lunch?  All right. All right. All right.  Yeah, it's cool. That was crazy. Yeah, I learned that from my black friend in Mississippi. Yeah. It's crazy. Man, you need to just watch how you drive, bro. I mean, it's all right. You're pretty cool. It's all right. It's all right. Hey, hey, really quick. Hey, that black guy that was recording us, yeah, he looked a little suspicious, didn't he? The whole time we were fighting, he did record us. He recorded us. He recorded us. I think he might have some drugs in the car. Under our cassette. You want to go check it out? Let's do it. We'll go check it out. Hey, buck. Hey, there, big guy. Man, you're like with a party. I want to give you a, just wanted to see, give you a little holler. We were a little confused. We had a little scuffle over there. You were recording us. Man, I ain't saying nothing, Bruno. Ask me nothing.   It's only one shadow around here. I mean, yeah. Yeah, man. Hold on. I mean, you said you were going to put it on Facebook. My friend looked up your Facebook, and you have four names. Your name is Keith.  That's right. Which one is it? Is it Keith Jones? Or is it always where you want the bitches?   Cotton grass for community college. Hey, hey, take a look.  We're like, we're like, waiting.  Did you just buck up black? Kotan, we got it. I'm under it. He hit me three, four times. Come here. Come down here. Excuse me. This nigga just called Rihanna. Excuse me. I just got swung on. Hey, Bob.  Bob, calm down. We got a witness. Back up. Hey, white woman. Hey, how are you? Hey, we had a little incident there. We were just wondering, did the black guy touch you?  You didn't say anything. Baby, don't talk to him. Don't tell him nothing. Are you sure you didn't say anything, ma'am? You beautiful.  Did you see something, ma'am? She ain't seen nothing. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.  The fuck? But when it come to these beautiful black bitches, listen here. Those booties are so big, I know a way to talk to them. OK. Excuse me, Silequa. My partner didn't know how to talk to you. If you tell me what I need to know, I'll make sure man-man be on every football team. I'll take you to Piccadilly. Hey, hey. Why you talk to her for a second? Piccadilly has great mouth potatoes there. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm going to go down here and ask my buddy from nowhere if he's seen anything. You ain't seen anything? Hey, hey, big man, how you doing? You play for Alcorn State, right? Say you're 20 years old. How would you like to spend the next 20 years nowhere?  So what'd you see up there? Did the black guy do something?     Go get somebody. Somebody's seen something. Somebody's seen something. I bet you can't find one person in here that's seen. You know what? Hold up. Wait a minute. Excuse me. Chico. Excuse me. Can I squeeze him back? Oh, he got up. That nigga's a snitch. Oh, I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to hit your breath. That nigga got up. Hey, hey, hey. I seen something. I seen something. How you doing, man? You're weird, crickety. Shit. Hold on. Hey, Bob. Bob. Bob. Hey, my guy here. I think we got a witness. Hey, what's your name, buddy? Nate. Nate. What'd you see, Nate? I didn't see nothing. You didn't see nothing.  I told you. Mississippi hold it down. What'd you see?    Excuse me. Oh. Excuse me. I'm going to find somebody. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. Let me. Chico. Chico, hold on. Let me say something. I think we got a witness. I got a witness. It better not be no niggas in here screaming louder than the women.  I walked over to that niggas center. Carlos! Carlos! They love me over here. Where you at? Oh. I love you, baby. Hey. Oh, I love you, baby.  I'm going to beat me. Hey, Bob. We got somebody that's been sitting here for a while. Hey, you saw the whole incident, didn't you?  He didn't see anything? That's what he said.  How about you? What you see?  You got on one glove like OJ. I know you seen something. Come on! Matt McLeod, but who? Matt McLeod, but who? What you see, Mary? Did you see anything? Mary McLeod? Did you see the incident? Hold up. Hold up. What she say? She ain't seen anything. She just came from the blow-dryer right here. You got to skew it up. Somebody's seen something around this goddamn thing. She doesn't get the blow-dryer.  Who's seen something around here? Hey, how are you, ma'am? I know her hair. Did you see anything up there? Come here, we've been out to one of the whole town.   What's up, girl? You seen something? What did you see anything? In the back! Did y'all see something? This is a good woman right here. Y'all better not fall. This is a good woman right here. What's up, gang? Nigga, all along here. Nigga, I hear seen. I'm going to get that back. Did anybody see anything back there? Who saw something? You can tell she saw something. She saw something back here. She saw that full head. That's a good woman right there. The lady up here saw something. Nice full head.  Ow! What's up, ma'am? Hey. He ain't seen nothing. Football, isn't he? Hey, DC. He saw something. He saw something. I know he saw something because of how tight he got his shoes tied. He laced up his shoes because he's ready to run the story. What did you see? I'm going to tell you what I saw. Hold on, hold on. I'm about to break it down, you guys. I'm about to break it down. There you go. There you go. Hey, Chico.   Nigga, don't tie them down. PM's on. Nigga, do I be pro for eight harnesses? Shoes. Nigga, a bit in my green. Shout out to everybody who in here tonight. What did you see? I know he saw something. I know you saw everything. He was in the drive-thru at White Castle. Why are you sweating sitting down, sir? Are you nervous? Get your onion chips. You're hot. Well, that's your fault, all right? Chico. He's at White Castle. Ain't nobody saying nothing.  You know that nigga driving suburban.  Oh, nigga move, nigga. Shit. Oh, why? Hey, I thought he was a lesbian anyway, nigga. Oh, my God. Nigga build like a lesbian, man. I thought he was a girl. I thought he was a lesbian. Oh, my God. I thought he was a lesbian. Come on. God damn. I thought I'm titties. All right. She's saying size. 46G. Good call. God damn. Look at the white man.  Good gracious titties. She got hold. Did you see anything, ma'am? The titties. Did you see anything? Y'all yelling like y'all had a graduation. What? Y'all got your brakes on. Got your brakes? Got your brakes? Put your brakes on. I don't need a nigga just as he did and start rolling back at him, motherfucker. Hey, that nigga a killer. He got the OJ glove on. My nigga, you got your brakes on? Hey. You got your brakes on? Well, I know nigga took a picture with me. That nigga right there, he took a picture with me. He ain't have your brakes on, nigga.  What's up, G? How you doing, man? What's up, white man? Ah! You see anything? I'm jealous, ma'am.  He been rolling down.  How you doing? Did you see anything? Did you see anything?  I know. She was screaming. I'll pitch her on the back.  I'll jump inside.  My man right here. Did you see it? Me? Did your lady right here? You saw it? Did your lady? My man saw it. She was like, no. What'd she see?  All right, he's slow. He's a little slow. He's a little slow. He's a little slow. He said, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that.   We got a mistake from the drop. I know you saw something.  What'd you do? God damn. You sell insurance. He said he works in the HR department for the bank. What's up, buddy? Shout out to everybody who sells insurance. Third parties. Third parties. Oh my God. I love you two. Y'all company connected. And that company connected to another company. Hey, boo. What's up, big boy? Y'all got to go out of here. Damn, man. Oh my God. What is it? For us. She's so funny. Hey, boy, this car been in your wallet for a long time. Hey, hey, guys. We got a little purple. I got a smile. She bought us something. She bought us thank you gifts. Oh, for real? Time out. Time out. Time out. Let her tell us why you bought us. She bought me. Mr. Opposite. She bought me something. Hold on. Time out. Say to you on the call. This is for y'all. This is successful. Thank you. Thank you for doing what you're doing. Because that is really the culture. My momma used to just love y'all. She gave me the chest phone.  Oh, for real? Tell her I love you. She said her momma passed, and we got her through her whole family, through the problem of her momma passing, and she bought us something. Tell her I love you, baby. Oh. How y'all going to hug without me? Now you got to come back. Come on, man. We can get a group to see it. That's your beauty. That's your beauty.  Don't tell her. I almost said it, too. What?    I'm trying to say, yo, you keep talking about potting the knees. At least she got some. I know me talk about my potting the knees with the iron on her shirt. My knees right there, baby. She ain't got no knees. Look at that, baby. My knees right there. My knees are gone.  What's wrong with you?  I got good knees. I think it here got long hair. I don't see anything, ma'am.  You ain't see nothing.  What's happening? What's up, girl? You trying to get a picture? For what? That's your son.    This nigga got done.  Oscar the Grouch head. What's up with you? Hey, you remember that candy? That little dipstick candy? Yeah. If he white, he's thinkin' he ain't like that. Got the goddamn dipstick. He ain't got a carnival candy head.  What is it? Want everything? Feel like a mega church. It is built like a church. Shout out to all the women who tried to give up. They feel a little left out.  Just say that. Just say that.  Just feed her, man. Just feed her.  Yeah, we'll feed you. The only thing that's gonna be open when we leave here is cook out, so I hope y'all eat that. Take her to the Waffle House. What a cute thing. What a cute thing. What a cute thing. It's only one. We got no cute? Just one. Well, ooh. Ooh, cute. Nowhere. Oh, that nigga right there. Oh, yeah. There you go, cute. There we go, too. Put your booty in there. Ooh. All right. All right. All right.  Look at y'all. Y'all looking good in here. Got the waist train on the outside. They got some sex-eyed women in there. Well, I keep walking around.  We out here. Let me walk on these steps one more time. Look at that. Damn, man. We out here. We out here. I'm fine, man.  Move, white man. Move.   Let me see how you get up top. You going up top? Love on me. Love on me. Let me see how you get up top. Niggas up top. Be left out. I'm going up top. Love on me. Love on me. Love on me.     I'm getting raped. Hold up.  Yeah. Shout out to Jackson and Mississippi. Ooh. Ooh. Lace front. Ooh. Shit. She got braces. Yep. It's a new lace front. She going crazy. Oh. White man. It's your girl right here. What's up with your black man? What's up, G? DC.  That's the white man girl. That's your girl right there. She got a lace front. That's your girl? It's that your girlfriend.  Going up top. White dude, you trying to smash? No. Everybody's part of it. Ma'am, are you here with the white man? Yes, she is.  She don't want to tell nobody. Who you here with? The white dude that said all her bills on auto pay. He don't even know what I'm saying. He like, yeah, that's her phone, Android. I'm here. Yeah. 95 south. Yeah. North. We'll check man. Slow down.  And then they got to go to the bathroom.  Lift me up, nigga. Lift me up. That nigga, blue boy right now. That nigga is farting. Yeah. We up here now. That nigga is farting. Yeah. We up top.  What's up? I done made it up this motherfucker. Goddamn, Jesus. Yeah. We up top. I'm talking to you that much love, man. Up top, y'all got to mess with me. What's up? No, nigga.  Look at the people on the side. Anybody come over there.  They like, come over here. No. DC, I had to catch the oldest elevator in existence of this motherfucker. I see, nigga. This is the oldest elevator in America that had to catch up this bitch.  The elevator music was the oldest motherfucker when the elevator started. It just went. Uh-huh. Yeah. What's up with y'all up top? Uh-huh. What's up? What's good? Okay. What's up, white man? Yes. Yes, I eat booty. Yes. We up here.  Yes, I eat cootie. Yes. There you go.  Jackson, how y'all feeling up top? We got love up top.  Hey, man. What do you think? Hold up. Watch this. We're the ladies that up top that's looking for it. Hey, Chico. Hey, Chico. They all good. Yeah. What's happening? I'm trying to see if up top lit like they lit down here. Shit. I don't know. I think the bottom's so lit. I ain't even got back on stage yet. Hold up, DC. Let's see. Hold up. Top up. Hey. Hey, man.   You feel the girl, man. Smile, man. Hey, DC.  Hey, boy.  What up? What do you mean? Nigga, that's the titties. That's the coochie. What up? Yeah.  What? And our titties big. Hey, look at y'all.  Yep. Hey. Long titties. If up top more turned than down bottom, let me hear up top.  What with your man? He gone? Oh, all right. Need somebody on this side. All right. It's down top. All right. Hold up. Y'all ready? Hold up, nigga. No, wait. Wait. Damn. It's down bottom more turned than up top. Watch this. Hey, if up top got the realest niggas in Mississippi, let me hear you make some noise. The niggas had to think about it. They were like, uh. What you think? Guess what?   Let me hear you make some noise.   If you got good pussy, put your credit kinda out. Time out. If the niggas up top. If the niggas up top got more than $20 in their bucket right now. Let me hear you make some noise. Oh, nigga. Oh, nigga. They might lie. That's why they sitting up top. They ain't got no money. And then she got. Yo, take it from a group. They keep down there too. Yeah, they bound to have a group on down here too. Time out. Time out. Hey, if the ladies. We gonna go back to the ladies. If the ladies up top, get ahead and sound like this. Let me hear you make some noise. Uh-uh. It's just two, but that's enough. That's all you need. Guess what? It don't even matter. Hey, dude, we got some real niggas down here. Hey, make some noise.  So he didn't get scared. Don't do that. Hold up. Hold up. Listen.  I did. I'm gonna beat you. I'm gonna beat you.  Hey, bro. You didn't see the police.  I ain't talking to y'all. I ain't talking to y'all. Y'all cool. Look, let me tell you right now. I ain't talking to y'all. Time out. Time out. Time out. I ain't talking to y'all, bro. Real talk. I ain't talking to y'all. Hold up. I ain't talking to y'all. Go ahead and tell them. Hey, everybody.  Them niggas smoke Reggie. Reggie, too. They don't want to put their Reggie in Mississippi. They were scared. Y'all know about their smoke Reggie. Your niggas smoke Reggie. They catch you smoking Reggie. They'll cancel your insurance. My boy right here said insurance right here. He gave me an insurance card. Ain't no air conditioning up top. God damn. He gave me an insurance card. It ain't him over here, though.  It is real Mississippi. This is Gerald Lambert.  I don't think it's no air in this whole building. Y'all doing all this moving around, making it hot. Niggas. Man, I ain't never been this long in the crowd.    What? What?  Jesus.  She died of medical. She need a walk. She died of medical. Hey, look. I'm gonna talk.   Y'all pray for me. Huh. Which way I go? First graduation class. This way.     Hey, y'all damn.   God damn, you look good. Congratulations. It always a nigga that same. There we go.  We up top. We the gang.  The nigga stuck in the elevator.  I wanna stay. I'll tell you, I ain't got back on stage yet. I'm gonna go back up and see what's going on.  Your phone's screen cracked. Hey mama. Hey mama. Look at mama. You do hair in the kitchen. I can tell. I come over your house.  They gonna make me a cornbread stuff. She do hair in the kitchen with the fan on. Y'all sit up. I like her. She got that little tattoo on her forearm. Now we back downstairs. What's up nigga? I seen a girl with a pound of tattoo. What's she at? She over there. It don't look like a pound though. It look like me.    You wanna who? A chick with a no limit records tattoo.  Thank you. Bruh, if you ever meet a girl and she got some baby feet tattooed on her.  That make about 40 years old. Exactly. Exactly. I seen it. My sister got a tattoo of a cheetah. That's it. I was looking when she first got it. It was like a felony.  Move awesome when he got it.  That nigga is dying.  I don't know man. Put my boy in the yoke. I'm coming Chico. A big strong and women that grab him.  And I'll put my nigga in the yoke. Hell nah, we ain't gone for that. Chico. Okay, he good. Pauline right here. That man here ain't good. Hey, how you doing? Ooh, ooh, it's titties. Come on, Carlos. Come back here.  Ooh, they grabbing on me. That nigga said he's Cisco mama. That nigga said he's Cisco mama. I'm not coming back there for that.  Ooh, flaming hot cheetos. Y'all niggas havin' all that goddamn food.  Ooh, I think it's you, potato fries. Ooh, ooh, ooh, yes. If y'all can only see what's going on. Yes. Ooh, hey baby. Hey, this nigga right here look like he ain't gonna work a win in reception. I'm sorry baby. Oh, look, wait. Stop him from Cisco mama.  Nigga, you almost...  You almost slipped on that cord. Ooh, yeah, so what? I still made it. I still made it. Damn. Hold up, nigga.  I had to run. The old lady was back in town. Hey, well, I would have let them do whatever they want to do. Yeah, you did.  I was like, come on, mama. Do it. She ain't had no teeth either. She said, you know what that felt like? I said, sure we'll do. Ooh. I'm pretty rigid. My first rodeo. I want some. What's up, man? Some guns. Some guns. Hit the auto-tone once I'm done.  Hit the auto-tone. Hey, nigga, I still got your car. It's too stupid, man.  One more time, bro. What's she at? What she it?    This is. One more time. One more time.


Well, it's awfully nice to be here this morning. It's good to be here in my mother's home country. If you all will indulge me just a minute, I'm going to tell you a little personal story, and I don't see how you're going to get out of it, so I'm just going to go on with it. My mother was born in Berkeley and grew up traveling between Mill Valley, California, and Lexington, Kentucky. She and my father, Wendell Berry, met in 1956 on the campus of the University of Kentucky, married in 1957, and have now lived and farmed in Henry County, Kentucky for over 50 years. My California relatives referred to Kentucky as the dark and bloody hunting ground, where Indians had sense enough not to live, unlike my father's family, who had by then lived there for close to 200 years. In fact, they referred to my parents' marriage as a kidnapping. None of this has anything to do with the matters at hand or with my dear friend Sarah, but I never come to San Francisco without thinking about the miracle of my existence. What a fine thing it is to be given the chance to come here, to take part in this meeting, and to have the opportunity to introduce my friend Sarah to you. Sarah and I are native Kentuckians. Sarah is from our state's biggest city, and I'm from a rural county about 40 miles northeast of there. In rural counties like my own, the food editor, for what was once our great newspaper, The Courier Journal, was a celebrity, and Sarah had that job for 25 years. Consequently, I was a fan of hers for a while before we actually met. I think my first words to her were, for heaven's sake, don't print that. She had asked my father what he liked to cook, and he answered, I don't cook, my wife does. What I knew she couldn't know at that time but does now was that my mother let no one cook in her kitchen, including me. Sarah did a good deal of excellent work during her tenure at The Courier. Without her, Louisville's thriving farmers markets would not be as numerous as they are, nor as successful as they are. Her work in seeking out excellent local food and giving people in needed information on how to get it and how to prepare it was essential. My family and I were raising and processing pastured poultry around the time I first met Sarah. Sarah wrote an article about us on a year's worth of chicken sold in a couple of days. A generational farmer from an adjoining county told me recently that her article about his CSA, the first in Kentucky, written in the early 90s gave his business the foundation it ran on for 15 years. I imagined that I could spend my allotted time on stories like this. Her work at The Courier Journal turned out to be invaluable training for her work now with Louisville's Farm to Table program. Her tenure at The Courier coincided very neatly with the end of the tobacco economy in Kentucky. I'm very certain that no one at the paper told Sarah to take up the cause of farmers who were losing their major cash crop. It was certainly possible 25 years ago to be a food editor and treat food as the marketplace has treated food as disconnected from the land and the people who produce it. Sarah had in place the local affections in the good sense to see the possibilities and the problems associated with the huge cultural shift that was hitting Kentucky's land and people. The people she helped were tobacco dependent farmers. It is important to mention that these were, for the most part, very good generational farmers, highly diversified farmers who understood good land use. I was one of them. Because the tobacco program, a program that brought parody to the conversation, protected farmers from overproduction and was a price support, not a subsidy, Kentucky today still has 84,000 small farms. A lot of us have been working for a while now to make sure that farmers can survive the loss of tobacco. No one has worked harder than my friend Sarah. I believe that her work funded by the tobacco settlement money is to put back together the long broken connection between Louisville and its surrounding countryside, finally ensuring the health and well-being of both. The scope of Sarah's job is huge. This is a partial list of her responsibilities. Working with farmers who are already growing food for local markets. Finding farmers who are interested in producing food for local markets. Finding markets for local food producers. Trying to balance supply and demand. Working to establish prices that allow both producers and businesses to make a fair profit. Helping all concerned to understand the need for economic connections between the city of Louisville and the countryside around it. I'm a country person. I love a particular place and I have watched it now for 55 years. Our present economic assumptions are failing in agriculture and to those who having eyes to see the evidence is everywhere in the cities as well as the countryside. The singular demand for production has been unable to acknowledge the importance of the sources of production in nature and in human culture. Of course, agriculture must be productive. That is a requirement as urgent as it is obvious. But as urgent as it is, it is not the first requirement. There are two more requirements, equally important and equally urgent. One is that if agriculture is to remain productive, it must preserve the land and the fertility and ecological health of the land. The land, that is, must be used well. A further requirement, therefore, is that if the land is to be used well, the people who use it must know it well, must be highly motivated to use it well, must know how to use it well, must have time to use it well, and must be able to afford to use it well. Nothing that has happened in the agricultural revolution of the last 50 years has disproved or invalidated these requirements. Though everything that has happened has ignored or defied them. We now see that the demand for local food going up in urban places has met the rural culture coming down. It was bound to happen. Sarah has taken up this cultural work, work of the highest order, our most necessary work. I have found it necessary in my work at the Berry Center to call people's attention to or back to rural places. The devastation suffered by rural America is not an accident. It is a crisis by design. We will not solve the problems we face now without dealing with the whole problem. Sarah has the indispensable ability to see the whole problem, to deal with whatever needs to be dealt with and to get things done. She has gotten more done for the place than the people I care most about in the last three years than I have seen done in the last 30. She has my gratitude, my admiration, and my love. Please welcome Sarah Fritschner. Thank you.


Hey, let's talk about masturbation.  What I don't want for you is to feel isolated in shame or guilt. God wants to free you from that.  While masturbation focuses on instant gratification, serving my own needs, my own satisfaction, my own pleasure, God's design for sexuality is that it would be self-giving. It would be self-less in the confines of marriage.   But it's good and it's right and it's how we were created, but it just needs to be in the proper context.


So I'm going to talk a bit about blockchain, but mostly I want to talk about money Now the word blockchain is used by a lot of people to mean all of the applications of this technology Beyond the financial applications beyond money And I'm certainly one of the people who said in the very beginning that money is just the first app So a lot of people are excited about all the things you can do beyond finance. However I'm here to remind you of two things one money is the killer app It is the killer app for bitcoin and bitcoin is the killer app for blockchain technology Money is the killer app because it is the foundational technology of all commerce And as such it touches everything and how it works affects everything The second thing is that for all of the applications that come after the stuff that is beyond money The blockchain Applications in order to make those work in a neutral open and decentralized global platform They will need to transact a neutral open decentralized global currency. You can't do The commerce the trade the land registry the identity the everything else Without first having that foundation Of a fundamentally new way of doing money that is open neutral borderless global censorship resistant And that is what comes out of The killer app which is money on a blockchain One of the problems we have in this space is understanding the terms we use And money is probably one of the most abused terms because very few people really understand how money works what money is And money as such is not a definitional term It's a best a descriptive term really. It's more of a general classifier I'm going to talk a bit about what we mean when we say money and how we need to understand money as things go forward Now that we have a new form of money based on the blockchain This talk is inspired by a conversation on twitter that Vitalik had with a few people just a few days ago People were asking vlad zamfair may have heard of him one of the other um, ethereum greats about whether ethereum is money and vlad was saying no ethereum isn't money And some other people were saying yes ethereum is money And vitalik said how about instead of using the term money Instead we talk about moe soe Sov and u of a Most people didn't realize what he was talking about that was a really insightful comment The three fundamental uses of money Sov store of value moe medium of exchange uo a unit of account We use the word money to describe things That in their practical application Exhibit one of the fundamental behaviors that allow us to use them for these purposes And if you just use the term money in general You may be having a conversation across purposes with other people because what you define as money May be colored by your perception of what you think the most fundamental aspect or use case of money is Ever had a conversation with a gold bug as far as they're concerned The most important most fundamental use of money is as a long term durable store of value Therefore The new zealand dollar is not money The u.s. Dollar is not money real money Money made of gold That's money Right But if you talk to many other people gold isn't money Because it's not very practical as a medium of exchange And while we recognize that it has proven to be a durable store of value over time It's not very practical as a medium of exchange Don't believe me Take some gold specie go to your local bar and say do you take gold in here matey? Now if it's a costume party, they'll probably appreciate that otherwise they're going to ask you for new zealand dollars or visa Is visa money visa is a medium of exchange But it doesn't represent a unit of account nor does it represent the store value in fact in many cases It represents a form of debt Wait, but most money is that Except for gold which is a store value and perhaps some of these new currencies on the blockchain which are also assets not debt instruments So this whole conversation becomes confusing And the reason it becomes confusing is we're using a descriptive term of money to refer to these characteristics without differentiating them The first form of money was precious metal the first form of broadly used money throughout the world as a singular global unit That could be recognized and used as a medium of exchange across cultural barriers silver gold Is it money? It was then it's not today So what are the features that make its money? What are the features that give it the capability to serve as a store value a medium of exchange a unit of account? certain characteristics It has to be portable right There's a Polynesian tribe pacific islanders that use giant stones As money great store value poor medium of exchange Thing weighs 20 tons You can carve it And then it sits there Because nobody's willing to move it One of the stories that comes out of that is when during transport for payment of debts between one Village and another transport by canoe across an island channel canoe sinks stone goes to the bottom of the ocean And it's still used as a medium of exchange because both tribes agree that it's still there Bottom of the ocean hasn't moved its ownership now belongs to the tribe where it would have arrived And they still refer to it as a medium of exchange and base value on it. It doesn't matter. It's there It fulfills the role because it has preserved scarcity Right scarcity is a fundamental consideration when you're trying to build a store value What are the other ones fungibility? The ability to have units of value that are indistinguishable from each other for legal purposes The fact that it doesn't matter if your New Zealand dollar Serial number ends in a three or five. It's still the same It's legal tender and you are legally prohibited from making discriminations based on that You cannot say in my store. I only accept New Zealand dollars that end in a six Because I am compelled for religious reasons or whatever other crazy thing you want to do You can't do that fungibility is a requirement under the legal tender laws Why because without fungibility currency ceases to be practical as a medium of exchange Because you now have differential pricing If you can differentiate between units then one New Zealand dollar will be worth one New Zealand dollar And another one that's less desirable because fewer locations will accept it will be discounted in the market And operate at the discounted rate, which is now means you have to keep track Of different values associated with different units of the same currency As they are discounted that one was touched by a robber that one was used by a drug dealer That one has traces of cocaine on it. Actually all of them have traces of cocaine on them and feces, but We still accept them at a hundred percent value by law fungibility There are half a dozen properties that give us the characteristics that make money suitable To fulfill one of the three fundamental functions that we understand Unit of account is less easy to understand But the fundamental concept there is that in a barter system Prior to the invention of money One of the fundamental problems you have is that you have to keep track of the relative value of different commodities if I offer haircuts In exchange for pedicures and also offer haircuts in exchange for chicken eggs And also offer haircuts in exchange for oil changes for my car I can have a local area functional community of barter but The reason that doesn't scale is because I have to keep track Of the exchange rates between haircuts oil changes chicken eggs and pedicures And so does the pedicurist the car mechanic and the chicken farmer We all have to keep track. How many haircuts is it today for an oil change? How many oil changes for a chicken? How many chickens for a pedicure, etc, etc? It gets very complicated What if we had some magical thing and we could say let's price everything in that And that's money And that's the fundamental function of having a unit of account It's interesting that the first forms of money are metal Metal isn't necessarily very good money It has some problems one of the problems is that if Precious metal is used as money It has some intrinsic value that is separate from the money it represents Right silver and gold can be traded independently for aesthetic reasons to be used in jewelry for other purposes So if you have a silver coin and you recognize that perhaps it's not quite worth enough as a silver coin You melt it and you turn it into a necklace add some artistic Creativity to it and it can have a value greater than that that it previously had as a silver coin That destroys its fundamental function as a medium of exchange Or you shave off a tiny bit off the edge ever noticed while coins have raised bumps around the perimeter Those were introduced by the Romans when they realized that people were taking roman silver coins when they used to have full silver In them and were shaving the perimeter making them smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller Until you reached the point where one of the merchants went hang on There's an awful lot of coin missing in that coin I seem to remember them being this big when I was young They solved that problem by gradually diluting the silver until what you got was 99 10 And then hyperinflation destroyed the roman empire, but that's a story for another era We wouldn't possibly do that nowadays Gold is a terrible metal to use as a medium of exchange and one of the reasons is terrible is it's because it's too damn soft It dents it scratches bits of it fall off quite easily Great for jewelry can hammer it very easily soft metal fantastic for jewelry Not so good for a coin because one of the things you want with the coin Is you want it to be able to be used 100 000 times in 100 000 pockets by 100 000 people touching it without it losing bits In the process because it's not durable Durability is a fundamental requirement for a medium of exchange and gold is too soft So here's an interesting analogy metals represented for humanity at an era when we used the materials we found around us in the world And adapted them to the uses for which they fit You don't make a spear out of gold Not because it's too expensive But because you can't stab anyone with it because it's too damn soft Right And so human beings looked around them and they said this is the world We have these things in the world. What could their use be? How do we take what exists? leather iron shells bones tusks Ivory whatever how do we take these materials we have? And find uses that are suitable for these materials At this point we are adapting nature to the uses we have but only in a peripheral way One of the interesting things that happens in our civilization is gradually we become more intrusive in our adaptations We start molding nature to our needs And the first level of that Was the ability for human beings to interact at a molecular level with the materials they were operating To turn wood into charcoal To turn metal alloys into stronger metals more durable metals harder more brittle less brittle more malleable less malleable of different colors Melting at different temperatures we start manipulating the world around us using The molecules at a very high level That's the beginning Gradually we get better and better at this until eventually we can start affecting the atomic nature the chemical era Just a century ago erupted across the world and we can now manipulate the atomic structure of things We can create synthetic fertilizers Plastics synthetic fabrics we are now not waiting to find the use For a material we are changing the material in order to create a material that fits the use we have preconceived And if you take that to its extension, we're now at the point where we can do this at a nano scale Where we can affect the subatomic structure? We can now affect things like carbon nanotubes We are not just manipulating the atomic structure of this to the point of making the material behave a certain way We are giving it physical properties conductivity thermal dispersion Properties that we give to these materials by manipulating them on a nano scale and in sci-fi We talk of the diamond age where you can go Subparticle and Take any material and convert it by a sheer force of will a design pattern and sufficient energy To create many nukes. I'm sure You could take a chair and say a chair has carbon Diamonds have carbon. Well, here's a machine.  What's the difference is just a rearrangement of the particles, right? It's science fiction for now We just did something amazing to money until now We have taken money As it exists in the world and said This is kind of good as medium of exchange. It kind of sucks the store value But we're going to have to compromise because this is the money we have and we cannot change its fundamental nature We have precious metals. They work very well for one thing, but not for another so we make compromises We invent paper money But we are still subject to the limitations of paper money and as a result we can use it as a medium of exchange But its control architecture means that it's going to be inflated forever by central bankers who are out of control So we say, ah, well, it's not a good store of value It's two percent inflation Compounded year after year. Don't tell your children that that means that after 30 years half of it's gone Let's pretend that's not happening Saki store value great medium of exchange great unit of account We adapt our uses to the material and not the other way around until now Because now for the very first time we can engineer money We can engineer the fundamental properties of money We can start tweaking Whether this is more suitable as the store value or a medium of exchange or a unit of account We start working at the fundamental structure of money by making it digital And breathing into it the exact properties we want A monetary policy fungibility privacy durability resilience Transportability of unimaginable levels we can whisk it across the world in seconds without sacrificing Any of the properties that previously we would have to sacrifice instead of compromise we engineer away the trade-off Can we have it all can we have something that is simultaneously? The most amazing store value that ever existed the most amazing medium of exchange the most amazing unit of account but wait How about we invent some new characteristics of money that have never existed before? Now our money is also Fundamentally a universal ledger of transactions money never did that before We never had a form of money that in addition to being store value medium of exchange a unit of account Was a universal ledger an auditable Trackable ledger that can tell us where the money is being How it's being used Maybe or not because we tweak the privacy dial up And say guess what? Individuals should have privacy governments should have accountability. Let's tweak the dial Let's reset that societal conversation and say no to surveillance You have to tell us where you're spending our taxes. I don't have to tell you shit about where I'm spending my money Because I did nothing wrong And so we tweak that dial and some people are brave enough to tweak it in ways that we didn't anticipate We are engineering money for the first time And the conversation comes up and people say is this new network blockchain money really money? Well, that depends What do you mean by money dear sir? Are you referring to its function as a store value or a unit of exchange? a unit of account Or as a universal ledger the thing we just invented or some other property that hasn't yet been invented We don't know yet What this money is going to be good at? But I can tell you one thing It's already better A lot of the systems of money we have because the systems of money we have represent compromises We have a thing we call it money and we take it with all of its faults and say that's the best we can do We can do better now We can engineer the properties and create forms of money that exhibit exactly what we want in their behavior That have behaviors that surpass the physical world that give us instantaneous settlements without third parties across the world That can be used in payment channels for settlements of billions of transactions per second at zero cost or near zero cost We can do these things We can do micro transactions that operate at a micro second level on a global basis for fractions of a satoshi We can do these things now because for the first time we are engineering money until now When choosing the form of money we had we are making a choice that lasts A choice that is difficult to get out of If I hold New Zealand dollars, but I really wanted to have gold because it's a better store value That's not an easy conversion I can't simply lift a finger press a button and convert my New Zealand dollars into gold I can convert a spreadsheet representation of New Zealand dollars into a spreadsheet representation of gold and then I don't actually have either of them the bank has it and Let's hope Greece doesn't happen again Surely that couldn't happen here But that's not really a conversion if I really wanted to convert The product of my labor into gold I have to go through some pretty Incredible hoops to do that And take physical possession of the gold which then becomes very difficult to transport because it's heavy And then if I wanted to spend it I have to sell it which is another whole rigmarole of problems trade-offs Compromises What if we could do something different instead of trade-offs? We can trade trading becomes The better solution now if I have a fully digital Owned asset that is a perfect store value And I want a fully digital owned asset Not under a counterparty custodial account. I own this I control this with my own keys and I want to convert From the very very slow conservative robust super secure store value currency To the very very nimble micro payment instantaneous buy a damn cup of coffee right now across the world currency Now I can do that with a click In a cross-chain atomic swap with no counterparty risk I don't do trade-offs anymore. I trade And then I don't trade my wallet does on demand intelligently as I need If I need to buy a cup of coffee my wallet converts a sufficient amount of stored value Into coffee And then the remainder goes back into stored value in milliseconds. No trade-offs I can disaggregate the fundamental functions of money Get the best store value the best medium of exchange the best unit of account And some new properties I didn't have before like a universal ledger because we are engineering the very molecular nature of money By making it digital By making it decentralized by opening it up to engineering innovation By making it completely borderless outside of the controls of banks and governments and third parties By making it A pure digital technology And money is technology It is a value language. It is a system of symbolics That allows us to communicate value to each other And until now we've had just poor substitutes of this paper and precious metals and cards that give us access to debt in somebody else's spreadsheet if they will give it to us If they're still solvent And all of these inferior forces of money all of these inferior forms of money Will now have to compete They will have to compete against this new form of blockchain based network based decentralized money that is engineered To deliver exactly the principles and features that we want They're not going to compete very well They don't get it Right now this seems like a glorious experiment Hey, the banks will do blockchain too will optimize the bottom line Will recentralize the decentralized will co-opt it give it a haircut put it in a suit present it up to the board And we will park it in our innovation lab Where innovation goes to die Because if it's an innovative enough and disruptive enough Everyone in that management chain will get seriously uncomfortable That's what innovation does This morning someone said disrupt yourself Bullshit Disruption isn't comfortable. It's not easy. It's not nice Disruption means losing your job Disruption means cannibalizing your profit center. It means destroying your fundamental business You don't do that to yourself No You resist stubbornly until the very last moment Until you can no longer resist You go the way of kodak you invent digital photography in 1987 bury it under the rug Pretend no one sees it and say hey, we've got a good thing going on here with film. I mean Who could ever beat us? Who? Nokia Shipped a billion cameras and they're not even a camera company You can't see that coming. You can't protect from that.  Guess what? That's what permissionless means Permissionless doesn't mean present a business plan and hope someone funds you Permissionless means write code launch code change the world ask for forgiveness later. Maybe Do not ask for permission Engineered money just happens. It is a new form of digital money. This is the killer app This will change everything and eventually amazing applications Built on top of this incredible platform for global trust This new organizational model for decentralized society That scales to fit the global needs of a global society Will be built But first We've got some amazing things to do to money And they won't even see us coming. Thank you