Chapter 57 of the History of Pendentis, this is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The History of Pendentis by William Makepeace Thackeray, Chapter 57, Foreign Ground. For the major Pendentis fulfilled his promise to Warrington so far as to satisfy his own conscience, and in so far to ease poor Helen with regard to her son as to make her understand that all connection between Arthur and the odious little gatekeeper was at an end, and that she need have no further anxiety with respect to an imprudent attachment or a degrading marriage on Penn's part. And that young fellow's mind was also relieved after he had recovered the shock to his vanity by thinking that Miss Fanny was not going to die of love for him and that no unpleasant consequences were to be apprehended from the luckless and brief connection. So the whole party were free to carry into effect their projected continental trip and Arthur Pendentis ran to a voyage with Madame Pendentis and Mademoiselle Bell and George Warrington, particularly age of 32 years, tire six P.A., Anglais, figure ordinary, cheveux noirs, barbeaux d'Édème, etc., procured passports from the Council of H.M., the King of the Belgians at Dover, and passed over from that port to Astin, whence the party took their way leisurely visiting Bruges and Ghent on their way to Brussels and the Rhine. It is not our purpose to describe this off-travel tour or Laura's delight at the tranquil and ancient cities which she saw for the first time, or Helen's wonder and interest at the green convents which they visited, or the almost terror with which she saw the black veiled nuns without stretched arms kneeling before the illuminated altars and beheld the strange pumps and ceremonials of the Catholic worship. Barefooted friars in the streets, crowned images of saints and virgins in the churches before which people were bowing down and worshiping in direct defiance as she held of the written law, priests in gorgeous robes or lurking in dark confessionals, theaters opened and people dancing on Sundays, all these new sights and manners shocked and bewildered the simple country lady, and when the young men, after their evening drive or walk, returned to the widow and her adopted daughter, they found their books of devotion on the table, and at their entrance Laura would commonly cease reading some of the Psalms or the sacred pages which of all others Helen loved. The lady thence, connected with her son, had cruelly shaken her, Laura watched with intense though hidden anxiety every movement of her dearest friend, and poor Penn was most constant and affectionate in waiting upon his mother, whose wound of bosom yearned with love towards him, though there was a secret between them and an anguish for rage almost on the mother's part to think that she was dispossessed somehow of her son's heart, or that there were recesses in it which she must not or dared not enter. She sickened as she thought of the sacred days of boyhood, when it had not been so when her Arthur's heart had no secrets, and she was his all in all. When he poured his hopes and pleasures, his childish griefs, vanities, triumphs into her willing and tender embrace, when her home was his nest still, and before fate selfishness, nature had driven him forth on wayward wings to range his own flight, to sing his own song, and to seek his own home, and his own mate. Seeing this devouring care and racking disappointment in her friend, Laura once said to Helen, If Penn had loved me as you wished, I should have gained him, but I should have lost you, Mama, I know I should, and I like you to love me best. Men do not know what it is to love as we do, I think, and Helen, sighing, agreed to this portion of the young lady's speech, though she protested against the former part. For my part, I suppose, Miss Laura was right in both statements, and with regard to the latter, assertion especially, that it is an old and received truism, love is an hour with us, it is all night and all day with a woman. Damon has taxes, sermon, parade, Taylor's bills, parliamentary duties, and the deuce knows what to think of, Delia has to think about Damon, Damon is the oak, or the post, and stands up, and Delia is the ivy, or the honeysuckle whose arms twined about him. Is it not so, Delia, is it not your nature to creep about his feet and kiss them, to twine round his trunk and hang there, and Damon's to stand like a British man with his hands in his breeches pocket, while the pretty fawn parasite clings round him. Oh, Penn Dennis sent only accompanied our friends to the water's edge, and left them on board the boat, giving the chief charge of the little expedition to Barrington. He himself was bound on a brief visit to the house of a great man, a friend of his after which sojourned, he proposed to join his sister-in-law at the German watering place whether the party was bound. The major himself thought that his long attentions to his sick family had earned for him a little relaxation, and though the best of the partridges were thinned off, the pheasants were still to be shot at Stillbrook where the noble owner still was. Oh, Penn Dennis betook himself to that hospitable mansion and desported there with great comfort to himself. A royal duke, some foreigners of note, some illustrious statesman, and some pleasant people visited it. It did the old fellow's heart good to see his name in the morning post amongst the list of the distinguished company which the Marquis of Stain was entertaining at his country house at Stillbrook. He was a very useful and pleasant personage in a country house. He entertained the young men with queer little anecdotes and grivazes stories on their shooting parties or in their smoking room where they laughed at him and with him. He was obsequious with the ladies of a morning in the rooms dedicated to them. He walked the new arrivals about the park and gardens and showed them the Cart du Peille and where there was the best view of the mansion and where the most favorable point to look at the lake. He showed where the timber was to be felled and where the old road went before the new bridge was built and the hill cut down and where the place in the wood was where old Lord Lynx discovered Sir Felham O'Neill on his knees before her lady's ship, etc., etc. He called the lodge keepers and gardeners by their names. He knew the number of domestics that sat down in the housekeeper's room and how many dined in the servants hall. He had a word for everybody and about everybody and a little against everybody. He was invaluable in a country house and a word and richly merited and enjoyed his vacation after his labors and perhaps whilst he was thus deservedly enjoying himself with his country friends. The major was not ill-pleased at transferring to Warrington the command of the family expedition to the continent and thus for force keeping him in the service of the ladies, a servitude which George was only too willing to undergo for his friends' sake and for that of a society which he found daily more delightful. Warrington was a good German scholar and was willing to give Miss Laura lessons in the language who was very glad to improve herself though Penn, for his part, was too weak or lazy now to resume his German studies. Warrington acted as courier and interpreter. Warrington saw the baggage in and out of ships, inns and carriages, managed the money matters, and put the little troop into marching order. Warrington found out where the English church was and if Mrs. Pendenis and Miss Laura were inclined to go with her, walked with great decorum along with them. Warrington walked by Mrs. Pendenis's donkey when that lady went out on her evening excursions or took carriages for her or got galanjani for her or devised comfortable seats under the lime trees for her when the guests paraded after dinner and the curselle band at the bath where our tired friends stopped performed their pleasant music under the trees. Many a fine whiskered Prussian or French dandy come to the bath for the taunte caran, casque glances of longing towards the pretty fresh colored English girl who accompanied the pale widow and would have longed to take a turn with her at the gallop or the walls. But Laura did not appear in the ballroom except once or twice when Penn Vouch saved to walk with her and as for Warrington that rough diamond had not had the polish of a dancing master and he did not know how to waltz. Though he would have liked to learn if he could have had such a partner as Laura, such a partner. Pasha, what had a stiff bachelor to do with partners in waltzing, what was he about, dancing attendance here, drinking in sweet pleasure at a risk he knows not of what after sadness and regret and lonely longing but yet he stayed on. He would have said he was the widow's son to watch his constant care and watchfulness of her or that he was an adventurer and wanted to marry her fortune or at any rate that he wanted some very great treasure or benefit from her and very likely he did for hours as the reader has possibly already discovered is a selfish story and almost every person according to his nature more or less generous than George and according to the way of the world as it seems to us is occupied about number one so Warrington selfishly devoted himself to Helen who selfishly devoted herself to Penn who selfishly devoted himself to himself at this present period having no other personage or object to occupy him except indeed his mother's health which gave him a serious and real disquiet but though they sat together they did not talk much and the cloud was always between them every day Laura looked for Warrington and received him with more frank and eager welcome he found himself talking to her as he didn't know himself that he could talk he found himself performing acts of gallantry which astounded him after the performance he found himself looking blankly in the glass at the crow's feet round his eyes and at some streaks of white in his hair and some intrusive silver bristles in his grim blue beard he found himself looking at the young bucks at the bath at the bland tight waisted Germans at the capering Frenchman with their lacquered mustache use and trim varnish boots at the English dandies penned amongst them with their calm domineering hair and insulin Langer and ended each one of these some excellence or quality of youth or good looks which he possessed and of which Warrington felt the need and every night as the night came he quitted the little circle with greater reluctance and retiring to his own lodging in their neighborhood felt himself the more lonely and unhappy the widow could not help seeing his attachment she understood now why major pendantists always the tacit enemy of her darling project had been so eager that Warrington should be of their party Laura frankly owned her great her enthusiastic regard for him and Arthur would make no movement Arthur did not choose to see what was going on or did not care to prevent or actually encouraged it she remembered his often having said that he could not understand how a man proposed to a woman twice she was in torture at secret feud with her son of all objects in the world the dearest to her in doubt which she dared not express to herself about Laura a verse to Warrington the good and generous no wonder that the healing waters of Rosen Bod did not do her good or that Dr. von Klauber the bath position when he came to visit her found that the poor lady made no progress to recovery meanwhile Penn got well rapidly slept with immense perseverance 12 hours out of the 24 ate huge meals and at the end of a couple of months had almost got back the bodily strength and weight which he had possessed before his illness after they had passed some 15 days at their place of rest and refreshment a letter came from Major Pendennis announcing his speedy arrival at Rosen Bod and soon after the letter the major himself made his appearance accompanied by Morgan his faithful valet without whom the old gentleman could not move when the major traveled he wore a jaunty and juvenile traveling costume to see his back still you would have taken him for one of the young fellows whose slim waist and youthful appearance Warrington was beginning to empty it was not until the worthy man began to move that the observer remarked that time had weakened his ancient knees and had unkindly interfered to impede the action of that natty little varnished boots in which the gay old traveler still pinched his toes there were magnets both of our own country and a foreign nations present that autumn at Rosen Bod the elder pendent has read over the strangers lives with great gratification on the night of his arrival was pleased to find several of his acquaintances among the great folks and would have the honor of presenting his nephew to a German grand duchess a Russian princess and an English marquis before many days were over nor was penned by any means averse to making the acquaintance of these great personages having a liking for polite life and all the splendors and amenities belonging to it that very evening the resolute old gentleman leaning on his nephew's arm made his appearance in the halls of a cursal and lost or won a Napoleon or two at the table of a taunt a cologne he did not play to lose he said or to win but he did as other folks did and bedded his Napoleon and took his luck as it came he pointed out the Russians and Spaniards gambling for heaps of gold and announced their eagerness as something sorted and barbarous an English gentleman should play where the fashion is play but should not elate or depress himself at the sport and he told how he had seen his friend the marquis of stain when Lord gaunt lose 18,000 at a sitting and break the bank three nights running at Paris without ever showing the least emotion at his defeat or victory and that's what I call being an English gentleman pen my dear boy the old gentleman said warming as he prattled about his recollections what I call the great manner only remains with us and with a few families in France and as Russian princesses past him whose reputation had long ceased to be doubtful and damaged English ladies who are constantly seen in company of their faithful attendant for the time being in these gay haunts of dissipation the old major with eager corollity and mischievous relish told his nephew wonderful particulars regarding the lives of these heroines and diverted the young man with a thousand scandals he got he felt himself quite young again he remarked to pen as rouged and grinning her enormous chasseur behind her bearing her shawl the princess up strobsky smiled and recognized and accosted him he remembered her in 14 when she was an actress of the Paris boulevard and the emperor Alexander's aid to camp up strobsky a man of great talents who knew a good deal about the emperor's Paul's death and was a devil to play married her he most courteously and respectfully asked leave to call upon the princess and to present to her his nephew Mr. Arthur Pandenas and he pointed out to the latter a half dozen of other personages whose names were as famous and whose histories were as satisfying what would poor Helen have thought could she have heard those tales are known to what kind of people her brother-in-law was presenting her son only once meaning on Arthur's arm she had passed through the room where the green tables were prepared for play and the croaking croupiers were calling out their fatal words of rouge gania and coulure paired she had shrunk terrified out of the pandemonium imploring pen extorting from him a promise on his word of honor that he would never play at those tables and the scene which so frightened the simple widow only amused the worldly old veteran and made him young again he could breathe the air cheerfully which stifled her her right was not his right his food was her poison human creatures are constituted thus differently and with this variety the marvelous world is peopled to the credit of Mr. Penn that it be said that he kept honestly the promise made to his mother and stoutly told his uncle of his intention to abide by it when the major right his presence somehow cast a damp upon at least three of the persons of our little party upon Laura who had anything but respect for him upon warrington whose manner towards him showed an involuntary heartiness and contempt and upon the timid and alarmed widow who dreaded lest he should interfere with her darling they're almost desperate projects for her boy and indeed the major unknown to himself was the bearer of tidings which were to bring about a catastrophe in the affairs of all our friends Penn with his two ladies had apartments in the town of Rosenbach honest warrington had lodgings hard by the major on arrival at Rosenbach had as befitted his dignity taken his quarters at one of the great hotels at the roman emperor or the four seasons where two or three hundred gamblers pleasure seekers or invalids sat down and overate themselves daily at the enormous tabla dot to this hotel ben went on the morning after the major's arrival dutifully to pay his respects to his uncle and found the ladders sitting room duly prepared and arranged by mr morgan with the major's hats brushed and his coats laid out his dispatch boxes and umbrella cases his guidebooks passports maps and other elaborate necessaries of the english traveler all as trim and ready as they could be in their master's own room in german street everything was ready from the medicine bottle fresh filled from the pharmacy down to the old fellow's prayer book without which he never traveled for he made a point of appearing at the english church at every place which he honored with a stay everybody did it he said every english gentleman did it and his pious men would as soon have thought of not calling upon the english ambassador in a continental town as of not showing himself at the national place of worship the old gentleman had been to take one of the baths for which Rosenbach is famous in which everybody takes and his after bath toilet was not yet completed when pan arrived the elder called out to arthur in a cheery voice from the inner apartment in which he and morgan were engaged and the valet presently came in bearing a little packet to pen's address mr arthur's letters and papers morgan said which he had brought from mr arthur's chambers in london and which consisted chiefly of numbers of the pal mel gazette which our friend mr the new cane thought his collaborator would like to see the papers were tied together the letters in an envelope addressed to pen in the last name gentlemen's handwriting amongst the letters there was a little note addressed as a former letter we have heard of had been to arthur pendennis esquire which arthur opened with a start and a bludge and read with a very keen pang of interest and saw and regard she had come to arthur's house banny boltman said and found that he was gone gone away to germany without ever leaving a word for her or answer to her last letter in which she prayed but for one word of kindness or the books which he had promised her in happier times before he was ill in which she should like to keep in remembrance of him she said she would not reproach those who had found her at his bedside when he was in the fever and knew nobody and who had turned the poor girl away without a word she thought she should have died she said of that but dr good enough had kindly tended her and kept her life when perhaps the keeping of it was of no good and she forgave everybody and as for arthur she would pray for him forever and when he was so ill and they cut off his hair she had made so free as to keep one little lock for herself and that she owned and might she still keep it or with his mama order that that should be given up to she was willing to obey him and all things and couldn't but remember that once he was so kind oh so good in kind to his poor fanny the major pandemics fresh and smirking from his toilet came out of his bedroom to his sitting room he found arthur with this note before him and an expression of savage anger on his face which surprised the elder gentleman what news from london my boy he rather faintly asked are the duns that you that you look so glum do you know anything about this letter sir arthur asked what letter my good sir said the other dryly and once proceeding what had happened you know what i mean about about miss about fanny bolt and the poor dear little girl arthur broke out when she was in my room was she there when i was delirious i fancied she was was she who sent her out of my chambers who intercepted her letters to me who dared to do it did you do it uncle it's not my practice to tamper with gentlemen's letters or to answer damned impertinent questions major pandemics cried out in a great tremor of emotion and indignation there was a girl in your rooms when i came up at great personal inconvenience day me and to meet with a return of this kind for my affection to you is not pleasant by god sir not at all pleasant that's not the question sir arthur said hotly and i beg your pardon uncle you were you always have been most kind to me but i say again did you say anything harsh to this poor girl did you send her away from me i never spoke a word to the girl the uncle said and i never sent her away from you and know no more about her and wish to know no more about her and about the man in the moon then is my mother that did it arthur broke out did my mother send that poor child away i repeat i know nothing about it sir the elder said testily let's change the subject if you please i'll never forgive the person who did it said arthur bouncing up and seizing his hat the major cried out stop arthur for god's sake stop but before he had uttered his sentence arthur had rushed out of the room and at the next minute the major saw him striding rapidly down the street that led towards his home get breakfast said the old fellow to morgan and he wagged his head inside as he looked out of the window poor hellen poor soul there'll be a row i knew there would and began all the fats in the fire when penn reached home he only found warrington in the lady's drawing room waiting their arrival in order to conduct them to the room where the little english colony at rozenbott held their sunday church hellen and laur had not appeared as yet the former was ailing and her daughter was with her penn's wrath was so great that he could not defer expressing it he flung fanny's letter across the table to his friend look there warrington he said she tended me in my illness she rescued me out of the jaws of death and this is the way they have treated the dear little creature they have kept her letters from me they have treated me like a child and her like a dog poor thing my mother has done this if she has you must remember it is your mother warrington interposed it only makes the crime greater because it is she who has done it penn answered she ought to have been the poor girl's defender not her enemy she ought to go down on her knees and ask pardon of her i ought i will i am shocked at the cruelty which has been shown her what she gave me her all and this is her return she sacrifices everything for me and they spurned her hush said warrington they can hear you from the next room hear let them hear penn cried out only so much the louder those may overhear my talk who intercept my letters i say this poor girl has been shameful used and i will do my best to write her i will the door of the neighboring room opened and laura came forth with a pale and stern face she looked at penn with glances from which beamed pride defiance aversion arthur your mother is very ill she said it is a pity that you should speak so loud as to disturb her it is a pity that i should have been obliged to speak at all penn answered and i have more to say before i have done i should think what you have to say will hardly be fit for me to hear laura said hardly you are welcome to hear it or not as you like said mr penn i shall go in now and speak to my mother laura came rapidly forward so that she should not be overheard by her friend within not now sir she said to penn you may kill her if you do your conduct has gone far enough to make her wretched what conduct cried out penn in a fury who dares impugnant who dares meddle with me is it you who are the instigator of this persecution i said before it was a subject of which it did not become me to hear or to speak laura said but as for my mom if she had acted otherwise then she did with regard to to the person about whom you seemed to take such an interest it would have been i that must have quitted your house and not that that person by heavens this is too much penn cried out with a violent execution perhaps that is what you wished laura said tossing her head up no more of this if you please i'm not accustomed to hear such subjects spoken of in such language and with a stately curtsy the young lady passed to her room looking her adversary full in the face as she retreated and closed the door upon him penn was bewildered with wonder perplexity fury at this monstrous and unreasonable persecution he burst out into a loud and bitter laugh as laura quitted him and with sneers and revilings as the man who jeers under an operation ridiculed at once his own pain and his persecutors anger the laugh which was one of bitter humor and no unmanly or unkindly expression of suffering under most cruel and unmarried torture was heard in the next department as some of his unlucky previous expressions had been unlike them entirely misinterpreted by the hearers it struck like a dagger into the wounded and tender heart of helen it pierced laura and inflamed the high spirited girl with scorn and anger and it was to this hardened libertine she thought to this boaster of low intrigues that i'd given my heart away he breaks the most sacred laws thought helen he prefers the creature of his passion to his own mother and when he is upgraded he laughs and glories in his crime she gave me her all i heard him say it argued the poor widow and he boasts of it and laughs and breaks his mother's heart the emotion the shame the grief the mortification almost killed her she felt she should die of his unkindness warrington thought of laura's speech perhaps this is what you wished she loves penn still he said it was jealousy made her speak come away penn come away and let us go to church and get calm you must explain this matter to your mother she does not appear to know the truth nor do you quite my good fellow come away and let us talk about it and again he muttered to himself perhaps that is what you wished yes she loves him why shouldn't she love him whom else would i have her love what can she be to me but the dearest and the fairest and the best of women so leaving the women similarly engaged within the two gentlemen walked away each occupied with his own thought and silent for a considerable space i must set this matter right thought honest george as she loves him still i must set his mind right about the other woman and with this charitable thought the good fellow began to tell more at large what boz had said to him regarding miss bolton's behavior and fickleness and he described how the girl was no better than a little light-minded flirt and perhaps he exaggerated the good humor and contentedness which which he had himself as he thought witnessed in her behavior in the scene with mr huckster now all bozo's statements have been colored by an insane jealousy and rage on that old man's part and instead of allaying penn's renaissance desire to see his little conquest again warrington's accounts inflamed and angry pendentists and made him more anxious than before to set himself right as he persisted in phrasing it with fanny they arrived at the church door presently but scarce one word of the service and not a syllable of mr shambles sermon did either of them comprehend probably so much was each engaged with his own private speculations the major came up to them after the service with his well-brushed hat and wig and his jauntyest most cheerful air he complimented them upon being seen at church again he said that every comey old foe person made a point of attending the english service abroad and he walked back with the young men prepping to them in garrulous good humor and making bows to his acquaintances as they passed and thinking innocently that penn and george were both highly delighted by his anecdotes which they suffered to run on in a scornful and silent acquiescence at the time of mr shambles sermon an erratic anglican divine hired for the season at places of english resort and addicted to deaths drinking and even to roulette it was said penn chafing under the persecution which is womankind inflicted upon him had been meditating a great act of revolt and of justice as he had worked himself up to believe and warranted on his part had been thinking that a crisis in his affairs had likewise come and that it was necessary for him to break away from a connection which every day made more and more wretched and dear to him yes the time was come he took those fatal words perhaps that is what you wish as a text for a gloomy homily which he preached himself in the dark view of his own heart glass mr shambles was feebly giving evidence to his sermon end of chapter 57 chapter 58 of the history of penn dennis this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox dot org the history of penn dennis by william make peace thackery chapter 58 fair oaks to let our poor widow with the assistance of her faithful martha of fair oaks who laughed and wondered at the german ways and superintendent affairs of the simple household had made a little feast in honor of major penn dennis's arrival of which however only the major and his two younger friends partook for helen sent to say that she was too unwell to dine at their table and laura bore her company the major talked for the party and did not perceive or choose to perceive what a gloom and silence pervaded the other two sharers of the modest dinner it was evening before helen and laura came into the sitting room to join the company there she came in leaning on laura with her back to the waning light so that arthur could not see how pallid and woe stricken her face was and as she went up to penn whom she had not seen during the day and placed her fond arms on his shoulders and kissed him tenderly laura left her and moved away to another part of the room penn remarked that his mother's voice and her whole frame trembled her hand was clammy cold as she put it up to his forehead piteously embracing him the spectacle of her misery only added somehow to the wrath and testiness of the young man he scarcely returned the kiss which the suffering lady gave him and the countenance with which he met the appeal of her look was hard and cruel she persecutes me he thought within himself and she comes to me with the air of a martyr you look very ill my child she said i don't like to see you look in that way and she tottered to a sofa still holding one of his passive hands in her thin cold clinging fingers i've had much to annoy me mother penn said with a throbbing breast and as he spoke helen's heart began to beat so that she sat almost dead and speechless with terror warrington laura and major pendentus all remained breathless aware that the storm was about to break i have had letters from london arthur continued and one that has given me more pain than i ever had in my life it tells me that former letters of mine have been intercepted and perloined away from me that that a young creature who has shown the greatest love and care for me has been most cruelly used by you mother for god's sake stop cried out warrington she's ill don't you see she is ill let him go on said the widow faintly let him go on and kill her said laura rushing up to her mother's side speak on sir and see her die it is you who are cruel cry pin more exasperated and more savage because his own heart naturally soft and weak revolted indignantly at the injustice of the very suffering which was laid at his door it is you that are cruel who attribute all this pain to me it is you who are cruel with your wicked reproaches your wicked doubts of me your wicked persecutions of those who love me yes those who love me and who brave everything for me and whom you despise and trample upon because they are of lower degree than you shall i tell you what i will do what i am resolved to do now that i know what your conduct has been i will go back to this poor girl whom you turned out of my doors and ask her to come back and share my home with me i'll defy the pride which persecutes her and the pitiless suspicion which insults her and me do you mean pen that you hear the widow with eager eyes and outstretched hands was breaking out but laura stopped her silence hushed your mother she cried and the widow hushed savagely as pen spoke she was only too eager to hear what more he had to say go on arthur go on arthur was all she said almost swooning away as she spoke by god i say he shan't go on or i won't hear him by god the major said trembling too in his wrath if you choose sir after all we've done for you after all i've done for you myself to insult your mother and disgrace your name by lying yourself with a lowborn kitchen girl go and do it by god but let us man have no more to do with him i wash my hands of you sir i wash my hands of you i'm an old fellow i ain't long for this world i come of as ancient and honorable a family as any in england by gad and i did hope before i went off the hooks by gad that the fellow that i'd liked and brought up and nursed through life by jove would do something to show me that our name yes the name of pendentist by gad was left undishonored behind us but if he won't dammy i say amen by god both my father and my brother jack were the proudest men in england and i never would have thought that there would come this disgrace to my name never and and i'm ashamed that it's arthur pendentist the old fellow's voice here broke off into a sob it was the second time that arthur had brought tears from those wrinkled lids the sound of his breaking voice stayed pen's anger instantly and he stopped pacing the room as he had been doing until that moment laura was by helen sofa and warrington had remained hitherto an almost silent but not an interested spectator of the family storm as the parties were talking it had grown almost dark and after the law which succeeded the passionate outbreak of the major george's deep voice as it here broke trembling into the twilight room was heard with no small emotion by all will you let me tell you something about myself my kind friends he said you have been so good to me ma'am you have been so kind to me laura i hope i may call you so sometimes my dear pen and i have been such friends that i have long wanted to tell you my story such as it is and would have told it to you earlier but that it is a sad one and contains another's secret however it may do good for arthur to know it it is right that everyone here should it will divert you from thinking about a subject which out of a fatal misconception has caused a great deal of pain to all of you may i please tell you mrs pendennis praise speak was all helen said and indeed she was not much heating her mind was full of another idea with which pen's words had supplied her and she was in a tear of hope that what he had hinted might be as she wished george filled himself a bump of wine and emptied it and began to speak you all of you know how you see me he said a man without a desire to make an advance in the world careless about reputation and living in a garret and from hand to mouth though i have friends and a name and i dare say capabilities of my own that would serve me if i had a mind the mind i have none i shall die in that garret most likely and alone i nailed myself to that doom in early life shall i tell you what it was that interested me about arthur years ago and made me inclined towards him when first i saw him the men from our college at oxbridge brought up accounts of that early affair with the chatterous actress about whom pen has talked to me since and who but for the major's general ship might have been your daughter-in-law man i can't see pen in the dark but he blushes i'm sure and i dare say miss bell does and my friend major pendennis i dare say laughs as he ought to do for he won what would have been arthur's lot now had he been tied at 19 to an illiterate woman older than himself with no qualities in common between them to make one a companion for the other no equality no confidence and no love speedily what could he have been but most miserable and when he spoke just now and threatened a similar union be sure it was but a threat occasioned by anger which you must give me leave to say ma'am was very natural on this part for after a generous and manly conduct let me say who know the circumstances well most generous and manly and self-denying which is rare with him he is met from some friends of his with a most unkind suspicion and has had to complain of the unfair treatment of another innocent person towards whom he and you all are under much obligation the widow was going to get up here and warrington seeing her attempt to rise said do i tire you ma'am oh no go on go on said helen delighted and he continued i liked him you see because of that early history of his which had come to my ears in college gossip and because i like a man if you will pardon me for saying so miss laura who shows that he can have a great unreasonable attachment for a woman that was why we became friends and our all friends here for always aren't we he added in a lower voice leaning over to her and penn has been a great comfort and companion to a lonely and unfortunate man i'm not complaining of my lot you see for no man's is what he would have it and up in my garret where you left the flowers with my old books in my pipe for a wife i'm pretty contented and only occasionally and the other men lose careers in life are more brilliant or who can solace their ill fortune by what fate in my own fault has deprived me of the affection of a woman or a child here there came a sigh from somewhere near at warrington in the dark and a hand was held out in his direction which however it was instantly withdrawn for the prudery of our females as such that before all expression of feeling or natural kindness in regard to women's is taught to think of herself and the proprieties and to be ready to blush at the very slightest notice and checking as of course it ought the spontaneous motion modestly drew up again kindly friendship shrank back ashamed of itself in warrington resumed his history my fate is such as i made it and not lucky for me or for others involved in it i too had an adventure before i went to college and there was no one to save me as major pendent save pen pardon me miss laura if i tell this story before you it is as well that you all of you should hear my confession before i went to college as a board of 18 i was at a private tutor's and there like arthur i became attached or fancied i was attached to a woman of a much lower degree and a greater age than my own you shrink from me no i don't laura said and here the hand went out resolutely and laid itself in warrington's she had devined his story from some previous hints that fall by him and his first words at its commencement she was a yeoman's daughter in the neighborhood warrington said with rather a faltering voice and i fancied what all young men fancy her parents knew who my father was and encouraged me with all sorts of course artifices and scoundrel flatteries which i see now about their house to do her justice i own she never cared for me but was forced into what happened by the threats and compulsion of her family would do god that i had not been deceived but in these matters we are deceived because we wish to be so and i thought i love that poor woman what could come of such a marriage i found before long that i was married to a boar she could not comprehend one subject that interested me her dullness palled upon me till i grew to love it and after some time of a wretched furtive union i must tell you all i found letters somewhere and such letters they were which showed me that her heart such as it was had never been mine but had always belonged to a person of her own degree at my father's death i paid what debts i had contracted at college and settled every shilling which remained to me in an annuity upon upon those who bore my name on condition that they should hide themselves away and not assume it they have kept that condition as they would break it for more money if i had earned fame or reputation that woman would have come to claim it if i had made a name for myself those who know right to it would have borne it and i entered life at 20 god help me hopeless and ruin beyond remission i was the boyish victim of vulgar cheats and perhaps it is only of late i have found out how hard ah how hard it is to forgive them i told you the moral before pen and now i have told you the fable beware how you marry out of your degree i was made for a better lot than this i think but god has awarded me this one and so you see it is for me to look on and see others successful and others happy with a heart that shall be as little bitter as possible by gatz there acquired the major in high good humor i intended you to marry miss laura here and by gad master shallow i owe you a thousand pound warrington said how do you mean a thousand it was only a pony sir replied the major simply at which the other laughed as for helen she was so delighted that she started up and said god bless you god forever bless you mr warrington and kissed both his hands and ran up to pen and fell into his arms yes dearest mother he said as he held her to him and with a noble tenderness and emotion embraced and forgave her i am innocent and my dear dear mother has done me a wrong oh yes my child i have wronged you thank god i have wronged you helen whispered come away arthur not here i want to ask my child to forgive me and and my god to forgive me and to bless you and love you my son he led her tottering into her room and closed the door as the three touched spectators of the reconciliation looked on in pleased silence ever after ever after the tender accents of that voice faltering sweetly at his ear the look of the sacred eyes beaming with an affection unutterable the quiver of the fond lips smiling mournfully were remembered by the young man and at his best moments and at his hours of trial and grief and at his times of success or well doing the mother's face looked down upon him and blessed him with his gaze of pity and purity as he saw it in that night when she yet lingered with him and when she seemed air she quite left him an angel transfigured and glorified with love for which love as for the greatest of the bounties and wonders of god's provision for us lets us kneel and thank our father the moon had risen by this time arthur recollected well afterwards how it lighted up his mother's sweet pale face their talk or his rather for she scarcely could speak was more tender and confidential than it had been for years before he was the frank and generous boy of her early days in love he told her the story the mistake regarding which had caused her so much pain his struggles to fly from temptation and his thankfulness that he had been able to overcome it he never would do the girl wrong never or wound his own honor or his mother's pure heart the threat that he would return was uttered in a moment of exasperation of which he repented he never would see her again but his mother said yes he should and it was she who had been proud and culpable and she would like to give fanny both and something and she begged her dear boys pardon for opening the letter and she would write to the young girl if if she had time poor thing was it not natural that she should love her arthur and again she kissed him and she blessed him as they were talking the clock struck nine and helen reminded him how when he was a little boy she used to go up to his bedroom at that hour and hear him say our father and once more or once more the young man fell down at his mother's sacred knees and sobbed out the prayer which the divine tenderness uttered for us and which has been echoed by 20 ages since by millions of sinful and humbled men and as he spoke the last words of the supplication the mother's head fell down on her boys and her arms closed around him and together they repeated the words forever and ever and amen a little time after it it might have been a quarter of an hour laura heard arthur's voice call from within laura laura she rushed into the room instantly and found the young man still on his knees and holding his mother's hand helen's head had sunk back and was quite pale in the room penniloc rounds scared with a ghastly terror help laura help he said she's fainted she's laura screamed and fell by the side of helen the shriek brought warring to the major pendentus and the servants to the room the sainted woman was dead the last emotion of her soul here was joy to be henceforth uncheckered and eternal the tender heart beat no more it was to have no more pangs no more doubts no more griefs and trials its last throb was love and helen's last breath was a benediction the melancholy party bent their way speedily homewards and helen was laid by her husband sided clavoring in the old church where she had prayed so often for a while laura went to stay with dr portman who read the service over his dear departed sister amidst his own sobs and those of the little congregation which assembled round helen's tune there were not many who cared for her or who spoke of her when gone scarcely more than of a none intercoistered did people know of that pious and gentle lady a few words among the cottagers whom her bounty was accustomed to relieve a little talk from house to house at clavoring where this lady told how their neighbor died of a complaint in the heart whilst that speculated upon the amount of a property which the widow had left and the third wondered whether arthur would let fair oaks or live in it and expected that he would not be long getting through his property this was all and except with one or two who cherished her the con so was forgotten by the next market day would you desire that grief for you should last for a few weeks more and does afterlife seem less solitary provided that our names when we go down into silence are echoing on the side of the grave yet for a little while and human voices are still talking about us she was gone the pure soul whom only two or three loved and knew the great blank she left was in laura's heart to whom her love had been everything and who had now but to worship her memory i'm glad that she gave me her blessing before she went away warrington said to penn and does for arthur with a humble acknowledgement and wonder at so much affection he hardly dared to ask of heaven to make him worthy of it though he felt that a saint there was interceding for him all the ladies affairs were found in perfect order and her little property ready for transmission to her son in trust for whom she held it papers in her desk showed that she had long been aware of the complaint one of the heart under which she labored and knew that it would suddenly remove her and a prayer was found in her handwriting asking that her in might be as it was in the arms of her son laura and arthur talked over her sayings all of which the former most fondly remembered to the young man's shame somewhat who thought how much greater her love had been for helen than his own he referred himself entirely to laura to know what helen would have wished should be done what poor person she would have liked to relieve what legacies or remembrances she would have wished to transmit they packed up the vase which helen in her gratitude had destined to dr. good enough and duly sent it to the con doctor a silver coffee pot which she used with sent off to portman a diamond ring with her hair was given with affectionate greeting to warrington it must have been a hard day for poor laura when she went over to fair oak's first and to the little room which she had occupied and which was hers no more and to the widow's own blank chamber in which those two had passed so many beloved hours there of course were the clothes in the wardrobe the cushion on which she prayed the chair the toilet the glass that was no more to reflect her dear sad face after she'd been here a while pen knocked and led her downstairs to the parlor again and made her drink a little wine and said god bless you as she touched the glass nothing shall ever be changed in your room he said it is always your room it is always my sister's room shall it not be so laura and laura said yes among the widow's papers was found a packet marked by the widow letters from laura's father and which arthur gave to her they were the letters which had passed between the cousins in the early days before the marriage of either of them the ink was faded in which they were written the tears dried out that both perhaps had shed over them the grief healed now whose bitterness they chronicled the friends doubtless united whose parting on earth had caused to both pang so cruel and laura learned fully now for the first time what the tithe was which had bound her so tenderly to helen how faithfully her more than mother had cherished her father's memory how truly she had loved him how meekly resigned him one legacy of his mother's pen remember of which laura could have no cognizance it was that wish of helen's to make some present to fanny bolton and penn wrote to her putting his letter under an envelope to mr bowes and requesting that gentleman to read it before he delivered it to fanny dear fanny penn said i have to acknowledge two letters from you one of which was delayed in my illness penn found the first letter in his mother's desk after her decease and the reading it gave him a strange pang and to thank you my kind nurse and friend who watched me so tenderly during my fever now i have to tell you that the last words of my dear mother who is no more were words of goodwill and gratitude to you for nursing me and she said she would have written to you had she had time that she would like to ask your pardon if she had harshly treated you and that she would beg you to show your forgiveness by accepting some token of friendship and regard from her penn concluded by saying that his friend george warrington esquire of lamb court temple was trustee of a little sum of money of which the interest would be paid to her until she became of age or changed her name which would always be affectionately remembered by her grateful friend a pendentus the sum was in truth but small although enough to make a little errors of fanny bolton whose parents were appeased and whose father said mr. p had acted quite as the gentleman the bows growled out that that to plaster wounded heart with a bank there was an easy kind of sympathy and poor fanny felt only too clearly that penn's letter was one of farewell sending hundred pound notes to porter's daughters is all devilish well old major pendentus said to his nephew whom as the proprietor of fair oaks and the head of the family he now treated with mark deference and civility and as there was a little ready money at the bank and your poor mother wished that there's perhaps no harm done but my good lad i'd have you to remember that you've not about five hundred a year though thanks to me the world gives you credit for being a lucid deal better off and on my knees i beg you my boy don't break into your capital stick to it sir don't speculate with it sir keep your land and don't borrow on it tatham tells me that the chatterous branch of the railway may will almost certainly pass through chatterous and of it can be brought on this side of the brawl sir and through your fields they'll be worth a devilish deal of money and your five hundred a year will jump up to eight or nine whatever it is keep it i implore you keep it and i say pen i think you should give up living in those dirty chambers in the temple and let a decent lodging and i should have a man sir to wait upon me in a horse or two in town in the season all this will pretty well swallow up your income and i know you must live close but remember you have a certain place in society and you can't afford to cut a poor figure in the world what are you going to do in the winter you don't intend to stay down here or i suppose to go on writing for that what do you call them that newspaper warrington and i are going abroad again sir for a little and then we shall see what is to be done arthur reply and you'll let barokes of course good school in the neighborhood cheap country devilish nice place for east india kernels or families wanting to retire i'll speak about it at the club there are lots of fellows at the club want a place of that sort i hope laura will live in it for the winter at least and we'll make it her home arthur replied at which the major pished in bashad and said that there ought to be convinced begot for english ladies and wish that miss bell have not been there to interfere with the arrangement of the family and that she would moat herself to death alone in that place indeed it would have been a very dismal abode for poor laura who was not too happy either in dr portman's household and in the town where too many things reminded her of the dear parent whom she had lost but old lady rockminster who adored her young friend laura as soon as she read in the paper of her loss and of her presence in that country rushed over from baymouth where the old lady was staying and insisted that laura should remain six months twelve months all her life with her and to her ladies ship's house martha from fair urges as from the chambra accompanied her young mistress pennon warrington saw her depart it was difficult to say which of the young men seemed to regard her the most tenderly your cousin is pertinent rather vulgar my dear but he seems to have a good heart little lady rockminster said who said her say about everybody but i like bluebeard best tell me is he too choker mr warrington has been long engaged laura said dropping her eyes nonsense child and good heavens my dear that's a pretty diamond cross what do you mean by wearing it in the morning arthur my brother gave it me just now it was it was she could not finish the sentence the carriage passed over the bridge and by the dear dear gate of fair oaks home no more end of chapter 58 chapter 59 of the history of pendennis this is a lever vox recording all lever vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit lever vox.org the history of pendennis by william make peace thackery chapter 59 old friends it chanced at that great for english festival at which all london takes a holiday up on epsom downs that a great number of the personages to whom we have been introduced in the course of this history were assembled to see the darby in a comfortable open carriage which had been brought to the ground by a pair of horses might be seen mrs bungay of pata nostre row a tired like salomon in all his glory and having by her side modest mrs shandon for whom since the commencement of their acquaintance the worthy publisher's lady had maintained a steady friendship bungay having recreated himself with a copious luncheon was madly shying at the sticks hard buy till the perspiration ran off his bald pate shandon was shambling about among the drinking tenants and gypsies the new cane constant in attendance on the two ladies to whom gentlemen of their acquaintance and connected with the publishing house came up to pay a visit among others mr archer came up to make her his bow and told mrs bungay who was on the course yonder was the prime minister his lordship had just told him to back borax for the race but archer thought none mere the better horse he pointed out countless dukes and grandees to the delighted mrs bungay look yonder the grandstand he said there sits the chinese ambassador with the mandrons of his suite fu jufu brought me over letters of introduction from the governor general of india my most intimate friend and i was for some time very kind to him and he had his chopsticks laid for him at my table whenever he chose to come and dine but he brought his own cook with him and would you believe it mrs bungay one day when i was out and the ambassador was with mrs archer in our garden eating gooseberries of which the chinese are passionately fond the beast of a cook seeing my wife's dear little blenheim spaniel that we had from the duke of marlboro himself whose ancestors life mrs archer's great great grandfather saved at the battle of mal plaque seized upon the poor little devil cut his throat in skinned him and served him up stuffed with forced meat in the second course law said mrs bungay you may fancy my wife's agony when she knew what had happened the cook came screaming upstairs and told us that she had found poor phyto skin in the area just after we had all of us tasted of the dish she never would speak to the ambassador again never and upon my word he has never been to dine with us since the lord mayor who did me the honor to dine liked the dish very much and eaten with green peas that tastes rather like guck you don't say so now cried the astonished publisher's lady fact upon my word look at that lady in blue seated by the ambassador that is lady flamingo and they say she is going to be married to him and return to p kin with his excellency she is getting her feet squeezed down on purpose but she'll only cripple herself and will never be able to do it never my wife has the smallest foot in england wears shoes for a six years old child but what is that to a chinese lady's foot mrs bungie who is that carriage as mr pandenis is with mr archer mrs bungie presently asked he and mr warrington was here just now he's already in his manners that mr pandenis and well he may be crime told he keeps tip-top company as he at a large fortune left in mr archer he's in black still i see 1800 a year in land in 22 500 in the three and a half for sense that's about it said mr archer law while you know everything mr a cried the lady of pattern astro i happened to know because i was called in about poor mrs pandenis as well mr archer replied pandenis is uncle the major seldom does anything without me and as he is likely to be extravagant we've tied up the property so that he can't make ducks and drakes with it how do you do my lord do you know that gentlemen ladies you have read his speeches in the house it is lord rochester lord fiddle stick cried out finner kane from the box sure it's tom staples of the morning advertiser archer is it archer said simply while i'm very short-sighted and upon my word i thought it was rochester that gentleman with the double opera glass and other not is lord john and the tall man with him don't you know him is sir james you know him because you see him in the house growled finner kane i know them because they are kind enough to allow me to call them my most intimate friends archer continued look at the duke of hamshire what a pattern of a fine old english gentleman he never misses the darby archer he said to me only yesterday i've been at 65 darbys appeared on the field for the first time on a pie ball pony when i was seven years old with my father the prince of wales and colonel hangar and only missing two races one when i had the measles that eaten and one in the water the year when i was with my friend wellington in flanders and who is that yellow carriage with the pink and yellow parasols that mr pendennis is talking to and ever so many gentlemen asked mrs bungay that is lady clevering of clevering park next estate to my friend pendennis that is the young son and heir upon the box he's awfully tipsy the little scam and the young lady is miss amary lady clevering's daughter by her first marriage and uncommonly sweet upon my friend pendennis but i've reason to think he has his heart fixed elsewhere you have heard of young mr foker the great brewer foker you know he was going to hang himself in consequence of a fatal passion for miss amary who refused him but was cut down just in time by his valet and is now abroad under a keeper how happy that young fellow is side mrs bungay who'd have thought when he came so quite into mirror to dine with us three or four years ago he would turn out such a grand character why i saw his name at court the other day and presented by the mark was sustained and all and in every party of the nobility his name's down as sure as a gun i introduced him a good deal when he first came up to town mr archer said and his uncle major pendennis did the rest hello there's cobblin here of all men in the world i must go and speak to him goodbye mrs bungay good morning mrs shandon an hour previous to this time and at a different part of the course there might have been seen an old stage coach on a battered roof of which are crowded shabby rafts were stamping and hallowing as the great event of the day the darby race rushed over the green sward and by the shouting millions of people assembled to view that magnificent scene this was wheelers the harlequin's head drag which had brought down a company of choice spirits from bow street with a slap up lungin in the boot as the whirling rays splashed by each of the choice spirits bellowed out the name of the horse or the colors which he thought or he hoped might be foremost the cornet it's muffineer it's blue sleeves yellow cap yellow cap yellow cap and so forth yell the gentleman sportsman during that delicious and thrilling minute before the contest was decided and as the fluttering signal blew out showing the number of the famous horse po da socus as winner of the race one of the gentlemen on the harlequin's head drag sprang out off the roof as if he was a pigeon and about to fly away to london or york with the news but his elation did not lift him many inches from his standing place to which he came down again on the instant causing the boards of the crazy old coach roof to crack with the weight of his joy hooray hooray he balled out po da socus is the horse supper for ten wheeler my boy ask you all round of course and damn the expense and the gentleman on the carriage the shabby swaggerers the dubious bucks said thank you congratulate you colonel sup with you with pleasure and whispered to one another the colonel stands to win 1500 and he got the odds from a good man too and each of the shabby bucks and dusky dandies began to eye his neighbor with suspicion lest that neighbor taking his advantage should get the colonel into a lonely place and borrow money of him and the winner on po da socus could not be alone during the whole of that afternoon so closely did his friends watch him and each other at another part of the course you might have seen a vehicle certainly more modest if not more shabby than that battered coach which had brought down the joy spirits from the harlequin's head this was cab number 2002 which had conveyed a gentleman and two ladies from the cab stand in the strand where of one of the ladies as she sat on the box of the cab and joined with her mama and their companion a repast of lobster salad and bitter ale looks so fresh and pretty that many of the splendid young dandies who were strolling about the course and enjoying themselves at the noble diversion of sticks and talking to the beautifully dressed ladies and the beautiful carriages on the hill fore sook these fascinations to have a glance at the smiling and rosy cheek glass on the cab the blushes of youth and good humor mantled on the girl's cheeks and played over that fair countenance like the pretty shining cloudlets on the serene sky overhead the elder lady's cheek was red too but that was a permanent modeled rose deepening only as it received three drafts of pale ale and brandy and water until her face emulated the rich shell of the lobster which she devoured the gentleman who has scored at these two ladies was most active in attendance upon them here on the course as he had been during the previous journey during the whole of that animated and delightful drive from london his jokes had never ceased he spoke up undoubtedly to the most awful drags full of the biggest and most solemn guardsmen as to the humblest donkey jays in which bob the dustman was driving molly to the rays he had fired astonishing bollies of what is called chath into endless windows as he passed into lines of grinning girls schools into little regiments of shouting urchins hurraying behind the railings of their classical and commercial academies into casements when smiling maid servants and nurses tossing babies or demure old maiden ladies with dissenting countenances were looking and the pretty girl in the straw bonnet with pink ribbon and her mama the devourer of lobsters had both agreed that when he was in spirits there was nothing like that mr sam he had crammed the cab with trophies won from the bankrupt proprietors of the sticks hard buy and with countless pin cushions wooden apples backy boxes jack in the boxes and little soldiers he had brought up a gypsy with a tawny child in her arms to tell the fortunes of the ladies and the only cloud which momentarily obscured the sunshine of that happy party was when the teller of fate informed the young lady that had had reason to beware of a fair man who was false to her that she had had a bad illness and that she would find that a man would prove true the girl looked very much abashed at this news her mother and the young man interchange signs of wonder and intelligence perhaps the conjurer had used the same words to a hundred different carriages on that day making his way solitary amongst the crowd and the carriages and noting according to his want the various circumstances and characters which the animated scene presented a young friend of ours came suddenly upon cab 2002 and the little group of persons assembled on the outside of the vehicle as he caught sight of the young lady on the box she started and turned pale her mother became redder than ever the heretofore gay and triumphant Mr. san immediately assumed a fierce and suspicious look and his eyes turned savagely from banny bolton whom the reader no doubt has recognized in the young lady of the cab to arthur pendennis advancing to meet her arthur too looked dark and suspicious on perceiving Mr. seminal huckster in company with his old acquaintances his suspicion was that of alarmed morality and i dare say highly creditable to mr arthur like the suspicion of mrs lynx when she sees mr brown and mrs jones talking together or when she remarks mrs lamb twice or thrice in a handsome opera box there may be no harm in the conversation of mr b and mr j and mrs lam's opera box though she notoriously can't afford one may be honestly come by but he had a moralist like mrs lynx has a right to the little precautionary fright and arthur was no doubt justified in adopting that severe demeanor of his banny's heart began to powder violently hucksters fists plunged into the pockets of his pale toe clenched themselves involuntarily and armed themselves as it were in ambush mrs bolton began to talk with all her might and with her wonderful valubility and lore she was so aptly to see mr pendennis and how well he was a looking and we'd been talking about mr p only just before hadn't we fanny and if this was the famous epson races that they talked so much about she didn't care for her part if she never saw them again and how was major pendennis and that kind mr warrington who brought mr p's great kindness to fanny and she never would forget it never and mr warrington was so tall he almost broke his head up against their large door you recollect mr warrington's a knock on of his head don't you fanny whilst mrs bolton was so discursing i wonder how many thousands of thoughts pass through fanny's mind and what dear times sad struggles lonely griefs and subsequent shame-faced constellations were recalled to her what pangs had the poor little thing as she thought how much she had loved him and that she loved him no more there he stood about whom she was going to die 10 months since stand-to-five supercilious with a black crepe to his white hat and jet buttons in his shirt front and a pink in his coat that someone else had probably given him with the tightest lavender colored gloves sewn with black and the smallest of canes and mr huckster wore no gloves and great blue cheer boots and smelt very much of tobacco certainly and looked oh it must be owned he looked as if a bucket of water would do him a great deal of good all these thoughts and a myriad of others rushed through fanny's mind as her mama was delivering herself of her speech and as the girl from under her eyes surveyed pendentist surveyed him entirely from head to foot the circle on his white forehead that has had left when he lifted it his beautiful beautiful hair had grown again the trinkets at his watch chain the ring on his hand under his glove the neat shining boot so so unlike sam's halo and after her hand had given a little twittering pressure to the lavender colored kid grasp which was held out to it and after her mother had delivered herself of her speech off any could find to save us this is mr samuel huckster whom you knew formally i believe sir mr samuel you know you knew mr pendentist formally and and will you take a little refreshment these little words tremulous and uncolored as they were yet were understood by pendentist in such a manner as to take a great load of suspicion from off his mind of remorse perhaps from his heart the frown on the countenance of the prince of fair oaks disappeared and a good nature smile and a knowing twinkle of the eyes illuminated his highnesses countenance i'm very thirsty he said and i will be glad to drink your health venny and i hope mr huckster will pardon me for having been very rude to him the last time we met and when i was so ill and out of spirits that indeed i scarcely knew what i said and here with the lavender colored dexter kidglove was handed out in token of amity to huckster the dirty fist in the young surgeon's pocket was obliged to undoable itself and come out of its ambush disarmed the poor fellow himself felt as he laid it in pen's hand how hot his own was and how black he left black marks on pen's gloves he saw them he would have liked to have clenched it again and dashed it into the other's good-humored face and have seen there upon that round with fanny with all england looking on which was the best man he sam huckster of bartholomews for that grinning dandy then with ineffable good humor took a glass he didn't mind what it was he was content to drink after the ladies and he filled it with frothing lukewarm beer which he pronounced to be delicious and which he drank cordially to the health of the party as he was drinking and talking on in an engaging manner a young lady in a shot dove colored dress with a white parasol lined with pink and the prettiest dove colored boots that ever stepped passed by pen leaning on the arm of a stalwart gentleman with a military mustache the young lady clenched her little fist and gave a mischievous side look as she passed pen he of the mustache shoes burst out into a jolly laugh he had taken off his hat to the ladies of cab number 2002 you should have seen fanny both in his eyes watching after the dove colored young lady immediately huckster perceived the direction which they took they seized looking after the dove colored nymph and they turned and looked into sam huckster's orbs with the most artless good humor expression what a beautiful creature fanny said what a lovely dress did you remark mr sam such little little hands he was captained strong said mrs bolton and who was the young woman i wondered a neighbor of mine in the country miss amry arthur said lady clevering's daughter you've seen sir francis often in shepherds in mrs bolton as he spoke fanny built up a perfect romance and three volumes love faithlessness blended marriage at st george's hand over square broken hearted me and sam huckster was not the hero of that story poor sam who by this time had got out and exceedingly rank cuba cigar and was smoking it under fanny's little nose after that confounded prig pendennis joined and left the party the sun was less bright to sam huckster the sky less blue the sticks had no attraction for him the bitter beer hot and undrinkable the world was changed he had a quantity of peas and a tin pea shooter in the pocket of the cub for amusement on the homeward route he didn't take them out and forgot their existence until some other way on their return from the races fired a volley into sam's sad face upon which salute after a few o's indicative of surprise he burst into a savage and sardonic laugh but fanny was charming all the way home she coaxed and snuggled and smiled she laughed pretty laughs she admired everything she took out the darling little jack in the boxes and was so obliged to sam and when they got home and mr huckster still with darkness on his countenance was taking a frigid leave of her she burst into tears and said he was a naughty unkind thing upon which with a burst of emotion almost as emphatic as hers the young surgeon held the girl in his arms swore that she was an angel and that he was a jealous brute owned that he was unworthy of her and that he had no right to hate pendennis and asked her implored her to say once more that she that she what the end of the question and fanny's answer were pronounced by lips that were so near each other that no bystander could hear the words mrs bolton only said come come mr h no nonsense if you please and i think you've acted like a wicked wretch and been most uncommon cruel to fanny that i do when arthur left number 2002 he went to pay his respects to the carriage to which and to the side of her mama the dev colored author of male arm had by this time returned indefatigable old major pendennis was in waiting upon lady clavrin and had occupied the backseat in her carriage the box being in possession of young hopeful under the care of captain strong a number of dandies and men of a certain fashion of military bucks of young rakes of the public offices of those who maybe style men's men rather than ladies i come about the carriage during its station on the hill and had exchanged a word or two with lady clavrin and a little talk a little chat some of the most elegant of the men style their conversation with mrs amary they had offered her sport of bets and exchanged with her all sorts of free talk and knowing innuenders they pointed out to her who was on the course and the who was not always the person a young lady should know when penn came up to lady clavrin's carriage he had to push his way through a crowd of these young bucks who were paying their court to mrs amary in order to arrive as near that young lady who back continued by many pretty signals to her side je l'ai vu elle a deux biens beaux yeux vous êtes en monstère why monster said penn with a laugh on a sweet key now these beans my young friend yonder is as well protected as any young lady in christendom she has her mama on one side her pretend on the other could any harm happen to a girl between those two one does not know what may or may arrive sedness planche in french when a girl has the mind and when she is pursued by a wicked monster like you figure to yourself major that i come to find me see you enough you near to a cab by two ladies and a man oh such a man and who ate lobsters and who laughed who laughed he did not strike me that the man laughed penn said and as for lobsters i thought he would have liked to eat me after the lobsters he shook hands with me and gripped me so that he bruised my glove black and blue he is a young surgeon he comes from clavoring don't you remember the guilt pestle and mortar in high street if he attends you when you are sick continue miss aimer he will kill you he will serve you right for you are a monster the perpetual recurrence to the word monster jarred upon pen she speaks about these matters a great deal too lightly he thought if i'd been a monster as she calls it she would have received me just the same this is not the way in which an english lady should speak or think laura would not speak in that way thank god nezzy thought so his own countenance bell of what are you thinking are you going to bound me at present blanchass major skolder may shunt nephew he does not amuse me at all he is as bet as captain krakenbeeren what are you saying about me miss aimery said the guardsman with a grin if it's anything good say it in english for i don't understand french when it spoke so devilish quick it ain't anything good crack said krakenberry's fellow captain clinker let's come away and don't spoil sport they say pendentus is sweet upon it i'm told he's a devilish clever fellow side krakenberry lady valet leba says he's a devilish clever fellow he wrote a work or a poem or something and he writes those devilish clever things in the in the papers you know dammy i wish i was a clever fellow clinker that's past wishing for crack my boy the others said i can't write a good book but i think i can make a pretty good one on the darby what a flat clovering is and the begum i like that old begum she's worth 10 of her daughter how pleased the old girl was at winning the lottery clovering safe to pay up baney asked captain krakenberry i hope so said his friend and they disappeared to enjoy themselves among the sticks before the end of the day's amusements many more gentlemen of lady cloverings acquaintance came up to her carriage and chatted with the party which he contained the word the lady was in high spirits and good humor laughing and talking according to her want and offering refreshments to all her friends until her ample baskets and bottles were empty and her servants and postillions were in such a royal state of excitement as servants and postillions commonly are upon the darby day the major remark that some of the visitors to the carriage appeared to look with rather queer and meaning glances towards its owner how easily she takes it one man whispered to another the begums made of money the friend replied how easily she takes what thought old pendennis as anybody lost any money lady cleverings said she was happy in the morning because sir francis had promised her not to bed mr wellboard the country neighbor of the cleverings was passing the carriage when he was called back by the begum who valid him for wishing to cut her why didn't he come before why didn't he come to lunch her ladyship was in great delight she told him she told everybody that she had won five pounds in the lottery as she conveyed this piece of intelligence to him mr wellboard looks so particularly knowing and with all melancholy that a dismal apprehension seized upon major pendennis he would go and look after the horses and those rascals of postillions who were so long in coming round when he came back to the carriage his usually benign and smirking countenance was obscured by some sorrow what is the matter with you now the good nature begum asked the major pretended a headache from the fatigue and sunshine of the day the carriage wheeled off the course and took his way london words not the least brilliant equipage in that vast and picturesque procession the tipsy drivers dashed gallantly over the turf amidst the admiration of foot passengers the ironical cheers of the little donkey carriages and spring bands and the loud obligations of horse and chaise men with whom the reckless post boys came in contact the jolly begum looked the picture of good humor as she reclined on her splendid cushions the lovely sylphied smiled with languid elegance many an honest holiday maker with with his family wadded into a tax cart many a cheap dandy working his way home on his weary hack admired that brilliant turnout and thought no doubt how happy those spells must be strong sat on the box still with a lordly voice calling to the post boys and the crowd master frank had been put inside of the carriage and was asleep there by the side of the major dozing away the effects of the constant luncheon and champagne of which he had freely partaken the major was revolving in his mind meanwhile the news to the seat of which have made him so grave if sir france's clevering goes on in this way pendentus the elder thought this little tipsy rascal will be as bankrupt as his father and grandfather before him the begum's fortune can't stand such strains upon it no fortune can stand them she has paid his debts half a dozen times already a few years more of the turf and a few coup like this will ruin her don't you think we could get up races at cladding mama the same way asked yes we must have them there again there were races there in the old times the good old times it's a national amusement you know and we could have a cladding ball and we might have dances for the tenetry and rusty sports in the park or it would be charming captive funds and mama wouldn't it major the turf is a very expensive amusement my dear lady major pendentus answered with such a rueful face that the begum rollered him and asked laughingly whether he had lost money on the race after a slumber of about an hour and a half the air of the house began to exhibit symptoms of wakefulness stretching his useful arms over the major's face and kicking his sister's knees as she sat opposite to him when the amiable youth was quite restored to consciousness he began a sprightly conversation i say ma he said i've gone and done it this time i had what have you gone and done frankie do ask mama how much is seventeen half crowns two pound and a half a crown ain't it i drew borax in our lottery but i bought pota socas and man milliner of legged minor for two open tarts and a bottle of ginger beer you little wicked gambling creature how dare you begin so soon cried miss aimer hold your tongue if you please whoever asked your lead miss the brother said and i say ma well frankly dear you'll tip me all the same you know when i go back and here he broke out into a laugh i say ma shall i tell you something the begum express her desire to hear there's something and her son and air continued but me and strong was down at the grandstand after the race and i was talking to legged minor who was there with his governor i saw pa look as savage as a bear and i say ma legged minor told me that he heard his governor say that pa had lost seven thousand backing the favorite i'll never back the favorite when i'm of age no no hang me if i do leave me alone strong will you captain strong captain strong is this true cried out the unfortunate begum as sir france has been betting again he promised me he wouldn't he gave me his word of honor he wouldn't strong from his place on the box had overheard the end of young cleverings communication and was trying in vain to stop his unlucky tongue i'm afraid it's true ma'am he said turning round i deplored the loss as much as you can he promised me as he promised you but the play is too strong for him he can't refrain from it lady clevering at this sad news burst into a fit of tears she deplored her wretched fate as the most miserable of women she declared she would separate and pay no more debts for the ungrateful man she narrated with tearful variability a score of stories only too authentic which showed how her husband had deceived and how constantly she hadn't befriended him and in this melancholy condition whilst young hopeful was thinking about the two guineas which he himself had won and the major revolving in his dark in mind whether certain plans which he had been forming had better not be abandoned the splendid carriage drove up at length to the begum's house engrossed from their place the idlers and boys lingering about the place to witness according to public want the clothes of the darby day sharing the carriage as it drew up and the end being the happy folks who descended from it and it's for the son of this man that i am made a beggar blamp said quivering with anger as she walked upstairs leaning on the major's arm for this cheat for this black leg for this liar for this robber of women calm yourself my dear miss planche the old gentleman said i pray calm yourself you have been hardly treated most unjustly but remember that you have always a friend of me and trust to know a fellow who will try and serve you and the young lady and the heir of the hopeful house of clevering having retired of their beds the remaining three of the ebsom party remain for some time in deep consultation in the chapter 59 chapter 60 of the history of pendentis this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox.org the history of pendentis by where you make peace daiquiri chapter 60 explanations almost a year as the reader will perceive has passed since an event described a few pages back arthur's black coat is about to be exchanged for a blue one his person has undergone other more pleasing and remarkable changes his wig has been laid aside and his hair though somewhat thinner has returned to public view and he has had the honor of appearing at court in the uniform of a cornet of the clevering troop of the blankshire young and recovery being presented to the sovereign by the marquis of stain this was a measure strongly and pathetically urged by arthur's uncle the major would not hear of a year passing before this ceremony of gentlemanhood was gone through the old gentleman thought that his nephew should belong to some rather more select club than the megatherium and has announced everywhere in the world is disappointment that the young man's property has turned out not by any means as well as he could have hoped and is under 1500 a year that is the amount at which pendentis's property is set down in the world whereas publishers begin to respect him much more than formally and where even mamas are by no means uncivil to him or if the pretty daughters are naturally to marry people a very different expectations at any rate he will be eligible for the plain ones and if the brilliant and fascinating myra is to hook an earl poor little Beatrice who has one shoulder higher than the other must hang on to some bore through life and why should not mr. pendentis be her support in the very first winter after the accession to his mother's fortune mrs. hawksby in a country house caused her Beatrice to learn billiards from mr. pendentis and would be driven by nobody but him in the pony carriage because he was literary and her Beatrice was literary too and declared that the young man under the instigation of his horrid old uncle had behaved most infamously and trifling with Beatrice's feelings the truth is the old gentleman who knew mrs. hawksby's character and how desperately that lady would practice upon on where young men had come to the country house in question and carried Arthur out of the danger of her immediate claws though not out of the reach of her tongue the elder pendentis would have had his nephew pass apart of the christmas at clavaring whether the family had returned but Arthur had not the heart for that clavaring was too near poor old fair oaks and that was too full of sad recollections for the young man we have lost sight of the clavarings too until their reappearance upon the epsom race ground and must give a brief account of them in the interval during the past year the world is not treated any member of the clavaring family very kindly lady clavaring one of the best-natured women that ever enjoyed a good dinner or made a slipping grammar has had her appetite and good nature sadly tried by constant family grievances and disputes such as make the efforts of the best french cook unpalatable and the most delicately stuffed sofa cushion hard to lie on i'd rather have a turnip strong for dessert than that pineapple and all them muscatel grapes from clavaring says poor lady clavaring looking at her dinner table and confiding her grief to her faithful friend if i could but have a little quiet to eat it with oh how much happier i was when i was a widow and before all this money fell in to me the clavaring family had indeed made a false start in life and had gotten either conduct nor position nor thanks for the hospitalities which they administered nor return of kindness from the people whom they entertained the success of their first london season was doubtful and their failure afterwards notorious human patience was not great enough to put up with sir france's clavaring people said he was too hopelessly low dull and disreputable you could not say what but there was a taint about the house and its entourage's who was the bigam with her money and without her h's and where did she come from what an extraordinary little piece of conceit the daughter was with her galasized graces and daring affectations not fit for well-bred english girls to associate with what strange people were those they assembled round about them sir france's clavaring was a gambler living notoriously in the society of black legs and profligates heley clinker who was in his regiment said that he not only cheated at cards but showed the white feather what could lady rockminster meant by taking her up after the first season indeed lady rockminster who had taken up lady clavaring put her down the great ladies would not take their daughters to her parties the young men who attended them behaved with the most odious freedom and scornful familiarity and poor lady clavaring herself about that she was obliged to take what she called the canal into her parlor because the tip tops wouldn't come she had not the slightest ill will towards the canal the poor dear lady or any pride about herself or idea that she was better than her neighbor but she had taken implicitly the orders which on her entry into the world her social godmother had given her she had been willing to know whom they knew and ask whom they asked the canal in fact was much pleasanter than what is called society but as we said before that to leave a mistress is easy while on the contrary to be left by her is cruel so you may give up society without any great pang or anything but a sensation of relief at the parting but severe are the mortifications and pains you have if society gives up you one young man of fashion we have mentioned who at least it might have been expected would have been found faithful amongst the faithless and harry voker esquire was indeed that young man but he had not managed matters with prudence and the unhappy passion at first confided to pen became notorious and ridiculous to the town was carried to the ears of his weakened fond mother and finally brought under the cognizance of the bald headed and inflexible voker senior the mr voker learned this disagreeable news there took place between him and his son a violent and painful scene which ended in the poor little gentleman's banishment from england for a year with a positive order to return at the expiration of that time and complete his marriage with his cousin or to retire into private life and 300 a year all together and never see parent or brewery more mr henry voker went away then carrying with him that grief and care which passes free at the strictest custom houses and which proverbially accompanies the exile and with his grape over his eyes even the peresian boulevard looked melancholy to him and the sky of italy black to sir francis clevering that year was a most unfortunate one the events described in the last chapter came to complete the ruin of the year it was that year of grace in which as our sporting readers may remember lord harrow hills horse he was a classical young nobleman and named his stud out of the iliad when bodassicus won the derby to the dismay of the knowing ones who pronounced the winning horse's name in various extraordinary ways and who backed borax who was nowhere in the race sir francis clevering who was intimate with some of the most rascally characters of the turf and of course had valuable information had laid heavy odds against the winning horse and backed the favorite freely and the result of his dealings was as his son correctly stated to poor lady clevering a loss of seven thousand pounds indeed it was a cruel blow upon the lady who had discharged her husband's debts many times over who had received as many times his oaths and promises of amendment who had paid his money lenders and horse dealers went furnished his town and country houses and it was called upon now instantly to meet this enormous sum the penalty of her cowardly husband's extravagance it has been described in former pages how the elder pandemics have become the advisor of the clevering family and in his quality of intimate friend of the house had gone over every room of it and even seen that ugly closet which we all of us have and in which according to the proverb the family skeleton is locked up about the baronette's pecuniary matters if the major did not know it was because clevering himself did not know them and hid them from himself and others in such a hopeless entanglement of lies that it was impossible for advisor or attorney or principal to get an accurate knowledge of his affairs but concerning lady clevering the major was much better informed and when the unlucky mishap of the derby arose he took upon himself to become completely and thoroughly acquainted with all her means whatsoever they were and was now accurately informed of the vast and repeated sacrifices which the widow amery had made in behalf of her present husband he did not conceal and he had won no small favor from miss blanche by avowing it his opinion that lady clevering's daughter had been hardly treated at the expense of her son by her second marriage and in his conversations with lady clevering had fairly hinted that he thought miss blanche ought to have a better provision we have said that he had already given the widow to understand that he knew all the particulars of our early and unfortunate history having been in india at the time when when the painful circumstances occurred which had ended in her parting from her first husband he could tell her where to find the calcutta newspaper which contained the account of amery's trial and he showed and the beacon was not a little grateful to him for his forbearance how being aware all along of this mishap which had befallen her he kept all knowledge of it to himself and been constantly the friend of her family interested motives my dear lady clevering he said of course i may have had we all have interested motives and mine i don't conceal from you was to make a marriage between by nephew and your daughter to which lady clevering perhaps with some surprise that the major should choose her family for a union with his own said she was quite willing to consent but frankly he said my dear lady my boy has about 500 a year and a wife with 10 000 pounds to her fortune would scarcely better him we could do better for him than that permit me to say and he is a shrewd cautious young fellow who has sown is wild oats now who has very good parts and plenty of ambition and whose object in marrying is to better himself if you and sir francis chose and sir francis take my word for it will refuse you nothing you could put arthur in a way to advance very considerably in the world and show the stuff which he has in him of what use is that seat in parliament to clevering who scarcely ever shows his face in the house or speaks a word there i'm told by gentlemen who heard my boy at oxbridge that he was famous as an orator begat and once put his foot into the stirrup and mountain i've no doubt he won't be the last of the field man i've tested the chap and know him pretty well i think he is much too lazy and careless and flighty a fellow to make a jog trot journey and arrive as your lawyers do at the end of their lives but give him a start and good friends and an opportunity and take my word for it he'll make himself a name that his son shall be proud of i don't see any way for a fellow like him to parvenir but by making a prudent marriage not with a beggarly heiress to sit down for life upon a miserable 1500 a year but with somebody whom he can help and who can help him forward in the world and whom he can give a good name and a station in the country begat in return for the advantages which she brings him it would be better for you to have a distinguished son-in-law than to keep your husband on in parliament who's of no good to himself or to anybody else there and that's i say why i've been interested about you and offer you what i think a good bargain for both you know i look upon arthur as one of the family almost now said that good natured begum he comes and goes when he likes and the more i think of his dear mother the more i see there's few people so good none so good to me and i'm sure i cried when i heard of her death and would have gone into mourning for her myself only black don't become me and i know who his mother wanted him to marry laura i mean whom old lady rockminster has taken such a fancy to and no wonder she's a better girl than my girl i know both and my betsy blanche i mean ain't been a comfort to me major it's laura penn ought to marry mary on 500 a year my dear good soul you are mad major pendent has said think over what i've said to you do nothing in your affairs with that unhappy husband of yours without consulting me and remember that old pendent is always your friend for some time previous penn's uncle had held similar language to miss amary he had pointed out to her the convenience of the match which he had at heart and was bound to say that mutual convenience was of all things the very best in the world to marry upon the only thing look at your love marriages my dear young creature the love match people are the most notorious of all for quarreling afterwards and a girl who runs away with jack to gretna green constantly runs away with tom to switzerland afterwards the great point in marriages for people to agree to be useful to one another the lady brings the means and the gentleman avails himself of them my boy's wife brings the horse and begad penn goes in and wins the plate that's what i call a sensible union a couple like that have something to talk to each other about when they come together if you had cupid himself to talk to if blanche and penn were cupid and psyche begad they'd begin to yawn after a few evenings if they had nothing but sentiment to speak on as for miss aimery she was contented enough with penn as long as there was nobody better and how many other young ladies are like her and how many love marriages carry on well to the last and how sentimental firms do not finish in bankruptcy and how many heroic passions don't dwindle down interdispicable indifference or end in shameful defeat these views of life and philosophy the major was constantly according to his custom inculcating to penn whose mind was such that he could see the right on both sides of many questions and comprehending the sentimental life which was quite out of the reach of the honest major's intelligence could understand the practical life too and accommodate himself or think he could accommodate himself to it so it came to pass that during the spring succeeding his mother's death he became a good deal under the influence of his uncle's advice and domesticated in lady clevering's house an enough measure was accepted by miss aimery without being a suitor and was received without being engaged the young people were extremely familiar without being particularly sentimental and met and parted with each other in perfect good humor and i thought pendentis and the fellow who eight years ago had a grand passion and last year was raging in a fever about bright seance yes it was the same pendentis and time had brought to him as to the rest of us its ordinary consequences consolations developments we alter very little when we talk of this man or that woman being no longer the same person whom we remember in youth and remark of course to deplore changes in our friends we don't perhaps calculate that circumstance only brings out the latent defect or quality and does not create it the selfish linger and indifference of today's possession is the consequence of the selfish ardor of yesterday's pursuit the scorn and weariness which cries wanee totem is but the last the two to the sick appetite piled with pleasure the insolence of the successful parvenu is only the necessary continuance of the career of the needy struggler our mental changes are like our gray hairs or our wrinkles but the fulfillment of the plan of mortal growth and decay that which is snow white now was glossy black once that which is sluggish obesity today was boisterous rosy health a few years back that calm weariness benevolent resigned and disappointed was ambition fierce and violent but a few years since and has only settled into submissive repose after many a battle and defeat lucky he who can bear his failure so generously and give up his broken sword to fate to conquer it without manly and humble heart are you not all stricken you friendly reader who taking the page up for a moment slight reading lay it down per chance for a graver reflection to think how you who have consummated your success or your disaster may be holding marked station or a hopeless and nameless place in the crowd who have passed through how many struggles of defeat success crime remorse to yourself only known who may have loved and grown cold wept and laughed again how often to think how you are the same you whom in childhood you remember before the voyage of life began it has been prosperous and you are riding into port the people hazying and the guns saluting and the lucky captain bows from the ship's side and there is a care under the star on his breast which nobody knows of or you are wrecked and lashed hopeless to a solitary spar out at sea the sinking man and the successful one are thinking each about home very likely and remembering the time when they were children alone on the hopeless spar drowning out of sight alone in the midst of the crowd applauding you end of chapter 60