Yeah, it's very, well, pleasurable to be here and indeed pleased to be talking to Samsung because I know you very long time already. I mean, we were together at the Institute. I'll talk a little bit about indeed the things we discussed there. And we also played a lot of tennis there, which was fun. You taught me how to play a nice surf and taught me many things about that, but also about physics. I'm going to talk about that. Indeed, I didn't announce the title yet because I had sort of two topics in mind. But this is the title, the world as an anomaly. I mean, we're talking about anomalies and the idea is basically that I think that eventually the physics laws that we have in nature are possible to derive from something deeper, something more underlying. And then, well, what is controlling the interactions and everything like that? I mean, since Samsung has been working on anomalies, there's actually an idea I want to present in this talk that has to do with the fact that we want to derive basically all of physics from an anomaly in some form. So I know Samsung's work, I mean, from early on when he was already, well, I think he was still in the landing ground where he worked with Anton on this idea of quantizing the fear-zero group using, well, a method that used a geometric action on the orbit of this fear-zero group. It's work that influenced my own, well, papers a lot actually. I thought about it at the time. It was just before, at the time when I had moved to Princeton and within a year from that, I met Samsung also there. And we spent two years at the institute discussing another topic and we almost collaborated on a paper on a background independent open string theory, string field theory. Yeah, it's just learning that, yeah. I put it there. Indeed, the acknowledgment says, I would like to thank Eric for in the four collaboration in the initial stages of the work. So I dropped out. I still feel guilty about this, so I want to make up that a bit. And so I'm going to talk indeed about also open string theory. But since it's an idea that I've been having, like about 20 years ago, I had to, I never published that one as well, by the way. I had to sort of remind myself of what my ideas were. And so this is one reason why I wasn't sure I should be able, it was possible to talk about this one. So I chose two topics, which has to do actually in both of these papers. But one will be basically thinking about the symplectic form of the low energy theory. So we have physics in our world, and we can describe it in terms of quantum mechanics, but also sort of classically. And one of the basic ingredients is the symplectic form. But there may be an underlying microscopic theory, and I'm going to present evidence for the fact that the symplectic form in our sort of physical world is actually derived from a very curvature of the underlying theory. This is actually connected to the work that Anton and Jean-Fan did on this geometric phase, because that's going to be a particular example. Then the part two I'm going to indeed think about open string field theory, and there I'm going to think about it as indeed a sort of arising from an anomaly. That's correct, so the two are kind of related. Although the generalization I'm going to discuss is actually more general. So this is indeed the geometric action that some someone and Anton wrote down on the Viral Zorro group. So it's on the diff S1, the few motions of a circle. And it has the form of sort of like a vessel minoterm, but then expressed in terms of a function that has a reparameterization on the circle. And indeed you can think about this action as a bury phase of a action of the group on a state. If you take a highest weight state, actually this is made very precise in work recently by Oblak, then you can compute the bury phase by looking at the change in the parameter f, and you integrate this change over the orbit, and you find a bury phase, and actually turns out that bury phase has precisely that form. And of course this is a form from which we can derive also a bury curvature, I mean here, and then this would be the same as deriving this emplactic form for this action. So this is an example of a connection between a bury phase and an anomaly, because this is also one way of thinking about this action. So I'm gonna generalize this, well first of all I'm gonna put it in a context of ADS-CFT, and you can indeed talk about this geometric action also in that context by thinking about special geometries in three dimensions in the ADS space, which I depict here as a cylinder with a boundary, which is the circle. If you write down the usual ADS geometry, you can apply a reprametization, or you actually can write down the BTZ geometry anyway, but you can apply a reprametization on the boundary, which is some diff as one. Actually in this case we have two reprametizations that work on the X plus and the X minus coordinates, so X plus minus are the combinations of the time and the angle. And then these functions that appear in here are functions of either X plus or X minus, and they can be written in terms of the Schwarzschild derivative of this function F, and this is a parametrization of a set of geometries in three dimensions. If you insert this into the action in the bulk, you can, because it's a solution to the equation of motion, rewrite this into a boundary action. And then that boundary action exactly has again this form of the geometric action. And this is something that had been worked out also in detail in recently in the paper by Kotler and Jensen. But what I'm claiming is that this is a special case of a much more general story, because I'm gonna be talking about more general boundary, first of all, ADS spaces in arbitrary dimensions. But also, thinking about more general geometries or even classical solutions in the bulk that are, well, obtained from some arbitrary fields. So I'm gonna actually use a notation that was introduced by Bob Wald to talk about just fields in the bulk very generally, where we have a Lagrangian in the bulk where if you vary the Lagrangian with respect to the field, so the fields may include the metric or anything else.  So we're gonna be looking at field configurations in ADS space that satisfy the equations of motion, and they define a phase space. And then you can derive the symplectic form from the symplectic potential by again varying once more. And then you have a two form on the space of variations of these fields. Now, the solutions of the equations of motions are determined by, because they're, well, they can be equations of motion of various type. But we're gonna assume that when we specify the boundary conditions of these fields on the cylinder, that the solution is uniquely fixed. So these parameters actually, the fields on the boundary are parametrized in the classical phase space. And so they will enter also in when we're gonna construct the symplectic form. So this is a generalization of the story for more general fields in ADS. And as I said, I mean, this can be having metric field. So we're gonna assume later on also that this is a repumpetization in variant field theory, and that means also I can construct, conserve charges associated to that. But first let me think about these fields as quite arbitrary. They're actually connected through the ADS-CFT correspondence to operators on the boundary, because the microscopic theory is gonna be living here and it's a CFT. And of course that's the usual rule that when we calculate the classical action of this theory, it will tell us something about the partition function of states computed on the boundary. Sorry Eric, what actually can constitute the symplectic form? Is it 2, 4, 4? What is the concept? Sorry, what is? What does it constitute for? What does it represent exactly? The symplectic form? Yeah. It's something that will allow us to define Poisson brackets or whatever on the phase space. It's a standard, I don't do anything else here. I mean, I'm just thinking about the space of classical solutions of a field theory in the bulk. But it also has an interpretation on the boundary because these objects are actually associated to operators that I can connect to the boundary states. And indeed there's a bulk symplectic form, but I write down here more explicitly. They are closed on shell, that means that I have a equation like this, that if I take the d of this, I actually can show that it's zero if I assume that these fields satisfy the linearized equations of motion. So I have both equations of motion assumed as well as the linearized equations of motion of these variations. Then this form is closed. Now this integral is being done over this slice, which is a time slice in the bulk. But since it's a closed form, I can deform this integration surface because it's gonna be closed everywhere, say below or above. So I can push it to the boundary. And that's actually gonna help me to interpret the same quantity in terms of something that's living on the boundary. Indeed, it's possible to write it like this, where instead of integrating over sigma, I'm integrating over the boundary of sigma, which is the circle or a sphere, times a real line. And it's actually the real line, just so you can go into the past. I have a similar expression going to the future because it's closed in the bulk. And this is an expression that you can evaluate now in terms of the boundary values. So you will see that this expression actually has components that are related to the fields phi. But there's also a symplectic form that basically tells you that these fields, which are the boundary fields, are dual to objects that are, well, basically the derivatives perpendicular to the boundary. Those derivatives are related to the expectation values of operators on the boundary. So there's gonna be an expression I can write down here that is a boundary interpretation of the same form. And as I said, it's a bulk quantity, but it's also a boundary quantity because of this closeness of this omega. In two dimensions, a special thing happened that the equations of motion are holomorphic equations, like d bar of something. Everything gets simplified because of that. Because in two dimensions, of course, of the gravity equations. But I will come to you. If it's C of t, then equation of motion is some kind of holomorphistic equation, like d bar of j equal to zero or d bar of z equal to zero. It seems to get simplified. This is true when it's pure gravity. But here I'm actually talking also about other fields in the bulk. And so there can be any operator on here. So I can switch on couplings for these operators. And so I have a huge class of perturbations I'm looking at. And this is an infinite dimensional space, much larger than just the space of repartmentalization. I meant only the case of gravity. Yes, I understand. So what I'm gonna do now, I'm gonna think about states. In the C of t, that are gonna be associated indeed with these boundary values. So you can think about them as being constructed by a path integral, where I specify these boundary conditions. They also represent, of course, states in the dual theory, because of the correspondence. But I'm interpreting this now as a calculation on the boundary, where I have a family of states. And then if I vary it, I can define the connection. And then in this case, it would be the berry connection. And the berry curvature can be written in this form. I'm gonna make this more precise because of course here I have to specify which fields are we really, the states depending on. Because we are dealing with a phase space and therefore we should choose some polarization. Where the states can only be dependent on say half of the variables in your phase space. There's a natural choice for this. Which is coming from the fact that I have radial quantization. So there's one way that I can think about the states here are being created by operators that act in the past. And I'm gonna think about preparing this state in not in real time, but sort of in Euclidean time. And then I'm gonna define what are called coherent states. Because then if you have a radial quantization, you can think about say the origin as being the point that equals minus infinity. And I draw a circle here in the plane, which is this circle here on the cylinder.  And they are related to the operators here and have a basis of operators. It's gonna be all operators in the CFT. I can also take their derivatives and this is why I'm indicating some labels in here. And so these functions, these actually are then coefficients of functions that are multiplying these operators. So there's another way of writing the same expression where here there's a sum over I, instead of having these derivatives I choose some function that depends on the time, Euclidean time. It's a time that indeed goes up to t equals zero. And then I act with this exponent. There's some time ordered in here on the state zero, which is the the vacuum state that I started from. But by doing this I've turned on couplings which are associated to the boundary values of those fields. And they indeed parameterize part of the state, actually the state in this case, but also part of the phase space. This is a more explicit expression if you wanna think about what this integral is because I'm also integrating over the angles. So I have a lot of information in these coefficients. Indeed in gravity you might think that this is only a function of a little particular combination, as you say. But here I'm allowing even a more general case where these operators are functions of t and phi. More like in this time, like at the end we didn't try to define boundary. I think it's a well-operated boundary. Well, this is in its boundary, meaning in the field theory case as well. Because there's a similar thing of course in string theory where you have the boundary and the open strings and the closed string one. Yes, so there's some boundary couplings that we are switching on here. But of course these coupling constants have to do with something with bulk fields as well because they specify, as I said, the boundary conditions of the values of the fields in the bulk. And so there's also a classical solution associated to these parameters. Provided I also put boundary conditions on this other part. And this is where a nice thing happens. Actually you get here because of, I'm working in Euclidean. And here I'm gonna think about indeed the antipodal map as sort of complex conjugation. And I'm gonna impose that if I have couplings here that they satisfy some symmetry conditions, then we, this is a complex variable. And here I put the same function except complex conjugate. And I re-invert the time t. And so now I have a complete phase set of phase space variables. But it actually describes a scalar structure on the space of couplings. And so I can calculate, I think I missed the slide here. So first of all, there's an inner product that I can take because the partition function in the bulk will be the inner product of those two states. And that defines also the scalar form in my scalar structure. And so there is a symplectic form that I get from these parameters by evaluating these inner products and varying in this way. And that's a symplectic form that is defined on the boundary in terms of these coherent states. But as I wanted to argue that this symplectic form is actually the same as the symplectic form you would derive from the bulk equations. By, well, the procedure I described earlier. But this, as I said, is a boundary construction in terms of coherent states. Any questions about this? And indeed, when I take this bulk symplectic form, which was defined as an integral here, and I push it to the boundary. Then I did this earlier, then I get this integral on the boundary. If you do this for the parameterization in terms of coherent states, you will get this answer. But there's also an explicit expression you can write down. Namely, one other way of choosing a polarization, and actually I learned this from Samsung. There's always Darbou variables. And the Darbou variables are actually the ones where we take the couplings on one side and take the operator expectation values on the other. And so there is a Darbou way of writing this in a product where indeed you have the association between couplings and operators as being derived from this symplectic form. So in this case, Darbou is considered as local coordinates, right? Well, I have to say that even these operators, if you think about the whole structure of the coupling constant manifold, they may be defined only locally. I mean, if you do, there may be contact terms that are like curvature. I mean, anyway, this is probably a very similar local formula. Of course, I made a choice to write it in this form, but there must be a way in which I just exchange lambda bar and I change some other operators I integrated over that side. But the two expressions must be the same. Now note that here I still have an integral over all of this geometry here. If you think about the Virazoro case, this would be the stress tensor, but this would be the metric. So it's not yet in the form where we used the dual field sort of like the on the orbits. For that, namely, we expect to have an integral only over the boundary here. So this expression is more general. Actually, there's independent work. Actually, we discovered this in Amsterdam, but there was also work by these authors that sort of made the same observations. Although what we also were interested in is indeed how this worked for gravity. Because one of the applications of this formalism is to try and derive equations that are equivalent to the equations in the bulk. To the field equations in the bulk. So this is just a definition of this symplectic form. But I'm gonna now study a more general case. Name me that indeed of Divian morphisms. And here again, I use this ideas of Wald because there's a symplectic current. Actually, there's a, sorry, a nutty current where I used the potential. I mean, I just write it in the usual form. So we have some symmetries associated to reprimandizations. These can be arbitrary vector fields. In particular, I'm gonna use this to construct the VeroZero generators. And so this is some transformation on the fields. And then this is the general form of a noted charge. Actually, you can add a term to it, which is a total derivative. This charge, of course, is conserved. But actually, due to the reprimandization invariance, it turns out this J actually is the D, identically to the D of some other object, which we call Q. Though that means that when we construct the Hamiltonian or the other neutral charges associated to all these vector fields, they are again written as integrals over this surface. But since J is a total derivative, they become integrals on the boundary. And indeed, this is what translates on the boundary to the integrals of the stress tensor. So this is a different expression, as I said again, as what I had on the previous slide, where I had integrals over the entire boundary. But now I have, for the gravity case, I can have integrals over only the slice here. And this has to do with symmetries and actually word identities if you think about it from the boundary perspective. Excuse me, am I right that J is not the current, but the divergence of the current? And this is what I learned as sort of writing down a neutral current. It's the divergence of the neutral current. No, the D of this thing is zero. You want to have a bulk integral. This thing is the D minus one form which I can integrate. And it's the D of it is zero. Maybe I misunderstood the notation, sorry. So the object here is the- It's the dual of the current as a vector. It's a hodge dual. It's a hodge dual. It's not a vector, but it's a form. It's a form, the D minus one form. Actually, this is the most natural way to think about it, because then the conservation law is just closed. The D dimensions, the current is the D minus one form. Actually, it comes from this whole formalism, because even it's related to the symplectic potential. And here, of course, you also see it's a D minus one form. And actually, this term is important later, because one thing we're going to be interested in is also the Hamilton equations. This is what Walt shows is that this term is important. Anyway, what I'm going to- before I get there, let me indeed translate this now to a boundary statement. I'm going to specify what B is in a minute. There's something needed here, namely to make sure that this Hamiltonian that defined by integrating this or actually discharge satisfies the correct properties with the symplectic form that I also defined. And then this term is important. But it doesn't mean anything, because it's basically adding a total derivative to a current which is like kind of an improvement term. There's a nice paper now by Daniel Harlow, which explains the origin of this thing more precisely by making- by discussing actually that the action you write down in the bulk cannot be fully defining a theory if you have a boundary because you also have to write down boundary terms. And if you include those boundary terms, you actually understand also where these terms come from. So the water identities, what I'm going to think about actually indeed is this equation, namely if I take this charge, which is an integral over this, I can write this again as an integral over the current. And now if I insert this expression, this psi I'm going to be assuming is going to be transferred along the boundary. And then these objects don't have any components along the boundary when you integrate. You only have this object that's being integrated. So this is the symplectic potential, which also on the boundary is the symplectic potential for this form that I also wrote down. So I had delta lambda delta. Oh, and this is actually a way of writing then the symplectic form. If you interpret this form this way, the other terms are also very natural. This was the integral of the stress tensor. This is the D of it. We normally call a water identity because it basically tells you that the divergence of the current actually tells you how all the fields are transforming with the appropriate parameter that I have in here. So the water identity is basically naturally following from these manipulations by writing these currents as boundary terms. So that is actually derivation almost of this fact that I can write J as the D of a Q. You can also look at the variations, and this is where indeed this term actually is important. If I didn't have this term in here, this equation would not fully work. This is an important equation because if you take the variation of this current, you get the delta of the first term, but you also get the equations of motion in here because I take the variation of Lagrangian, but then also there's a term that gives you the potential again, symplectic potential, but there has to be a variation of this term that also combines together in such a way that you precisely end up with this combination. And this, of course, is again the symplectic form, but now evaluated the two variations, one being the gauge transformation associated to psi and the other one, an arbitrary variation. But now when you insert this into the definition of the Hamiltonian, which is the integral of this object, you find that we integrate this side, which is the symplectic form, and this is the Hamiltonian, and then this actually is nothing but the Hamilton equations. So you derive the Hamilton equations from this identity, but it's important, and actually, of course, it's not a surprise that we use the equations of motion in the bulk because this is another way of writing the equations of motion. So this is one way I actually wanted to, why I was interested in this. These equations also now have boundary interpretations of a more microscopic nature where we think about this as a symplectic form, but in the bulk it's the equation of motion. So there's some way in which the equation of motion must be derivable from the boundary by interpreting this equation. Because phase space is the space of solutions of the equation of motion. That's right, but we have the phase space in our disposal. You're right, in a certain sense, we already projected on the solution space, but you want to know, of course, which equations are being obeyed in the bulk. But you're right, I mean, it's true that there's a... kind of a little bit of a tautology in the sense that the boundary only knows about the boundary states, and therefore it should be... there's some equations that need to be imposed. But there's a whole industry of people that have been trying to derive the Einstein's equations from these kind of manipulations, and that actually works in a slightly different setting than the one I described here. Namely, this is a picture I should have... Yeah, this is the one I wanted. So, first of all, I can look for banyanos geometries. And this is a little bit of a complicated picture. I mean, here I've done something slightly different than the setup that I had before. Here I had time going upwards, you think about just... but these vector fields can be chosen to be quite arbitrary. There can be boost generators in the bulk as well. So, if I think about boost, they actually create horizons. And this is the picture I have here. So, here I have a generator which is a boost generator which has a horizon in the bulk, which is these planes. And this is a picture of a winder space, actually, in... I think I'm missing a slide. So, this is a winder space where there's a time flow this way, and there's a generator of this which is this operator, which again can be written as an integral of the charge. So, this is called the model Hamiltonian. It's the integral of the stress tensor times this vector of psi again. This equation actually is an equation for the variation of what's called the relative entropy. I'm actually a little confused by my slides, sorry, not... Oh, here. You mean Poznan entropy, right? Poznan entropy? It's classical, right? Classical Poznan. No, it's... Actually, I think I... This slide should have been without these equations first. Just look at the top equation here. There's an object that's called... which is the stress tensor integrated against psi, which is called the model Hamiltonian. If you take the difference with that and the entanglement entropy, you get a combination that we call relative entropy. And the entropy is the entanglement entropy, the quantum entanglement entropy across this surface. So there are various contributions, one that is an integral over this boundary and this is an integral over this boundary. And this is the symplectic form again, but now only integrated over this part of the space. And so there's an identity that tells you that the difference between the entanglement entropy across this surface and the charge there is equal to this symplectic. So you have here a situation where we split the space into two parts and so there's an entanglement across this region.  There's an expression which is due to Cardi and Calabresa of what kind of entanglement entropy I have here. But why is it defined? Usually it is ill-defined the entanglement entropy if you have two ranges adjacent to one another. So that's a very good point. I also made that point when Van Ramson was talking about it. There's some way of regulating this at these points. You can even split these points a little bit by having another interval in between and then you can have a finite factor in the middle. Actually this has been discussed quite recently by Faulkner in quite a beautiful way that you indeed have the finite. You can regulate this in a nice way. And actually these expressions also come from regulating these entanglement. Anyway it's just a generalization of these neutral charges which Walt introduced where instead of integrating this quantity Q over this region you integrate it here. But the identities are the same because they can use the fact that the variation of the current is the symplectic form and that's what's here in the book. Anyway, what I wrote down these equations is actually the application if you would do this for Bagnata geometries. So think about this as ADS-3 and I have here a boundary state that's parameterized by a function F, the same function that Samsung considered namely in Diff as 1. Then there is actually an entanglement entropy expression that is given by the difference between the locations of these endpoints. So there are two points X1 and X2 and this is the reprimatization that you would do and this is the expression of the killing vector field that actually you have to integrate on the boundary. It's zero on these endpoints so that's the boost generator and it's normalized in a particular way and then it's multiplying the Swachin derivative because that's the expression for the stress tensor on the boundary. And then this variation minus that variation must be some expression that we can integrate in the bulk that would should be the symplectic form in the bulk and it's some way of sort of deriving these equations of motion. And as I said, this is a way of thinking about this that this implies the linearized equations. I want to close this part. Anyway, I just want to summarize that I discussed the relationship between the barrier curvature in the boundary and the symplectic form in the bulk. It's much more general than just for gravity. It also has other fields associated to that. You can try to derive the bulk Hamilton equations from the boundary and I think this sort of hints towards derivation of the bulk equations from a more microscopic perspective. And there are some ideas of how to do this and I describe that if you do this for banyardous geometries you actually connect to this work of Samson and Anton. So this is the first part. Now I want to get to the other discussion which is sort of related to the things that we were discussing at the time which had to do with background independent open string theory. I also indeed want to connect to the idea that indeed that my thing is that there is some way in which we can derive our field equations from an underlying theory. What I talked about here was sort of like where we go from open strings to closed strings which is one way in sort of thinking about an emerging step. But now I want to even go one layer deeper where I want to think about where the open strings may come from. So this was the idea that the open string field theory Lagrangian can be written down as a Turing-Simons action sort of suggests this relationship. So this was an idea I worked on about 20 years ago. I have tried to remember what I all thought about. I didn't write it down because indeed in the end there are some things that I'm not totally sure how they work but I had some nice observations that I want to tell you about. So this is Ed Witten's original paper about non-commutative geometry and string field theory. Here he writes an action that looks indeed like the Turing-Simons action but it involves all kinds of quantities that they had to define like star products and he did this by gluing together the open strings in some way like this where he chose a midpoint and there are two sides of the string that have to be matched together but since this looks like a Turing-Simons action the natural question is can we sort of think about this as a coming from an anomaly? And there were many other reasons why I thought there might be another formulation that is dealing with well this interaction slightly differently. The idea would indeed to write down an action that is not defined on the open string but sort of on half of it. I want to think about this actually there's of course an issue actually the same issue that you mentioned before actually Witten had the problem of defining the half string because he wants to split the Hilbert space of the open string in the two parts which is not a very easy thing to do in this case as well because actually even the open string Hilbert space doesn't factorize in the left and the right and there were all kinds of other issues but anyway what I wanted to indeed think about is if I think about this as an algebra what is the space that it's acting on and it's motivated also by Consway of thinking of course Witten was already inspired by that but if he would have followed this idea of having a spectral triple I'm actually denoting the gauge field now with the same notation as the algebra because I'm thinking about A as being the algebra of open strings which indeed this is star algebra but then there's a Hilbert space and then you may ask what is this Hilbert space actually consisting of and looking in the picture here the Hilbert space must be associated to these half strings so the idea would be to write down this action where these are half string fields and then integrate out these well fermion fields do a computation of this sort and get back the other action so what does it mean? Ah, so what I'm thinking about is there is a Dirac operator and I want to actually have some way in which I'm going to have a family of Dirac operators parameterized by my open so it is not connection here I'm going to think about it as the connection and this is an element of algebra A well I mean there's some let's put this in quotation marks in the sense that I want to think about indeed the open strings actually is the thing that are defined in algebra just like here so these are connections these are connections they are not connections, they are open string fields it's just a question of notation A is an algebra I know, I know, I'm sloppy here but the idea would be like this I mean if I have these open strings and sorry for using this notation I'm multiplying because I mean any states open string states should be possible to act on a state which is sort of half of a string state and then the multiplication is like gluing those together and then I obtain a new half string state which is the product of those two and so there's a midpoint that I have to put here which is where the two sort of have to meet and so my half strings have one midpoint there and the other point which is the open string on the other side and the proposal I thought about was thinking about these half strings that sort of strings with mixed Dirichlet and Neumann boundary conditions because then I have a point which I fix and the other point is sort of free to move and there's another reason why I like this because it's, I'll explain in a minute actually it's sort of natural form T-duality or things like this Dirichlet and Neumann boundary conditions are exchanged and this string doesn't know so much about which space it's moving on because it doesn't know whether it's, this is, it's one free side or that one and as I'll explain here indeed you can think about these end points sort of as being D-1 brains because they're kind of objects that are floating around in space and as I said T-duality exchanges Dirichlet and Neumann boundary conditions and there are many cases where the end strings play an important role and often appear to be more fundamental one example I like is if you think about a D-brain system on D-4s and D-0s you can write down the ADA HM equations namely because if I have different kind of D-brains then there are strings that are connected to one brain say 4-4 but there's also the 0-4 strings and they are like the end strings and then you have some equations of this sort where you can indeed transform well construct the dual gauge fields sort of in the sense of T-duality by again computing baryfaces I mean I'm not going to go into the details here the ADM equations have data in them which are actually having two numbers namely K being the number of instantons N being the rank of the gauge group but then these objects are actually can be thought of as D-N strings that's actually the way that these ADHM equations appear in string theory and similar in NAMD constructions Neumann, just one question can I, for the sudden dynamics of the scattering objects of the D-1 branch can I form open strings or connect them together to open source ones? so one way I'm going to think about this and actually this is what this equation suggests is that if I glued together two of them then they would again become an open string but there's another way in NAMD you can also glue them on that side and then actually they construct an object that lives in the T-dual space sign because T-duality actually makes from listing a Norman boundary condition and so there's some way in which T-duality can be thought of as cutting an open string in the middle and gluing it back together on the other side and that actually is the way that the NAMD transformation actually works on the torus is basically it changes the rank of the group with the gauge, with the instanton number and the other way around so the boundary conditions are being exchanged so these objects actually they live kind of on the space and it's T-dual in some way anyway this was a... A point in space time or a line? Yeah, a good point I'm now thinking as a point in space time because it's D-1 but there are examples like if you do D0, D4 but then I have an additional time in them you can also think about them as Euclidean D3 and D-1 I have not, as I said I mean these are ideas I was developing and there are various variants that you can go into but the most natural one would be take D-1 brains which are points and then you also have to do a T-duality in all directions including time What do you say of this ADHM data on living on torus? I don't understand If you take the... there is a construction of the ADHM equations in string theory using open strings where we have two kinds of brains one describing the instantons and one associated to the rank of the case group and the data are basically objects that have two indices namely k times n, k being the instanton number and being the rank of the case group those objects are strings like this sort where you have a D-slab boundary condition and an Ormian boundary condition and so there is some way that the ADHM equation has this structure in it So Eric, the idea is basically that the ADHM equations 86 paper in a modern way which are degrades rather than thinking about strings containing the middle or something That's right Think about degrades and give a notion of the A as an object which acts Yes changes the boundary condition Yes, but anyway if you are integrating them out you should get the action back Anyway, this was motivation not a full description So what I want to do is actually construct sort of like what looked like a Dirac operator and the idea would be integrating them out to get this action and there are ideas that namely you can mimic what we do in two dimensions with the chiral anomaly or there is a parity anomaly in three dimensions that also produces transimons actions and I want to do a calculation, so you can compute a determinant expand it out use things like collapsed propagators or whatever, in some way they usually calculate these anomalies The other idea is namely there is a three-dimensional space hidden here even in witness action that space is actually the mobius group that acts on the sphere because the reason why there are three terms in here had to do with ghost number counting these objects should be thought of as being one form in some way or an integral that wedges them There is I'm going to actually define that now more precisely because that was actually a problem I would have said in Witten's construction Witten defined his states first of all as states in Hilbert space this open string had ghost number minus a half and in order to absorb all the right ghost numbers he had to define something called the midpoint operator which was kind of a little bit of a funny thing because it's some exponent of a bosonized ghost field with a power of three halves if you would calculate the conformal dimension of this thing it's some funny number like minus nine over eight another problem is that the splitting of the string in two halves is not very well defined actually the Hilbert space doesn't factorize while if you think about these things as operators you would like them to be sort of in a tensor product of the dual vector space with itself I'm going to try and solve both problems I'm going to define a new midpoint operator that's going to turn the usual open string field into an operator of this kind and it worked quite beautifully and precisely in a way that sort of uses the critical dimension the idea is actually the following if you think about the open string modes they have mode expansions are using just the usual string theory modes and the ghosts and I'm going to split these modes into the even modes and the odd modes when you have the odd modes when you restrict them to the half string they already obey the mixed Dirichlet and Neumann boundary conditions so one way I think about actually the open string of course the open string is a line but you can think about the modes going to the left and to the right as if they're going around the circle and I'm thinking about that circle now as being doubly winded where there's a crossing point that's going to be the midpoint so I'm going to split the string by making this crossing disappear so they're going to be two untwisted ones so what you then work out actually that the operator that I have to insert there actually is a twist operator which also twists the X coordinates as well as one of the ghost fields so I have two modes which has two fields namely I'm going to actually split all the fields in the even and odd one so I have fields which are called C- which are the odd ones and are plus fields and then you twist the even ones that's this operator this is going to be the twist operator for the even ghost fields and then I have this the operator as well together this has ghost number 3H which is the same number that Witten required and so this new twist operator actually precisely splits it and actually makes of my string state something that is in this product and actually is an operator that multiplies acts on half strings and what's the dimension of it it's conformal dimension is minus 1 this is 26 over 16 which is 13 over 8 minus 5 over 8 is 0 so this is an operator that you can put down in 26 dimensions that has conformal dimension 0 and it does exactly what you want namely it splits the strings into in a way where it becomes a product so it really becomes an algebra now because now I can start multiplying these things so my star product is basically just really multiplying in this way can that be repeated for Neville-Schwarn a first super string that Witten was not able to remember he had a problem using feature-changing because there was no other way of defining super strings with him I didn't think about it anyway that was a problem I had this construction 20 years ago and the fact that I have a twin-border can also be proven by the fact that Herman actually invented this same construction recently when he was doing the TT bar definitions he needed the same thing and I could tell him about this fact he hadn't noticed the C-mon that I could multiply it so that gets dimension 0 and an important thing that they need furthermore is with the BOST charge which is also a very important thing indeed you can show this that Q this is the BOST charge with this new midpoint operator actually it's 0 and there's a very funny thing that I have to admit I don't fully understand what is happening there so this is a C-1 but this object therefore has a spin 1 this has the form of a C times a spin 1 if you have this operator this is the spin field of 26 bosons so I say the bosonic stream this is the so this is the twist field I should say this is the spin field for the ghost so this object is a current that I can integrate and defines for me a new charge which has ghost number half if you work out its square you can really work it out using the operator product expansion that gives you the BOST charge something I don't fully know why that is possible but if you take this operator and it's operator product expansion with itself actually the sigma with sigma gives you the identity but then you have to expand because of the 0's here and you pick up the stress tensor and the same way you pick up these other terms so you get actually exactly this combination from the operator product here this relation I kind of don't understand exactly the meaning of it how am I doing with time by the way you running short of time okay I'm going to finish oh it's a little over it's 15 minutes you're a little over okay alright I'm going to stop I'm going to actually stop where I don't know the answer I mean I try to construct a good Dirac operator the most natural thing is to write down the BOST charge on the half stream where you integrate say to the midpoint the only thing that I had chosen is namely that also the ghost satisfy dearly boundary conditions maybe I should modify this because actually then in that case this operator is not very well defined because these ghosts then have half integer mode expansion well the stress tensor likes to have an integer mode expansion so I don't know how to do this integral the other thing as I said I actually have ghost number minus one which means you have to absorb something like two additional ghost zero modes so I was not really able to solve these problems actually this is where I got stuck a bit anyway I'm still there with what I wanted to achieve but I have to find the correct definition of this operator and it's just an idea that I had at the time to see if there's some other formulation of open strings where we can think about this action as being induced from an action of that sort anyhow that was what I wanted to live with thank you any questions? when you had this square root of q yes so that current is that a conserved current which you integrate or does it depend on the contour of integration you know for the BRSD current usually you integrate the BRSD current which is conserved so it doesn't matter it's a conformal state good point so there's a spin one which you can write down a 1,0 component and a 0,1 component I mean as a total current probably it is conserved anyway it's something that needs to be worked out so when you start splitting this string into two halves so this sounds like you work on some kind of manifolds these corners right you have a bulk you have your string you have those corners where you split it so what would live in the corner right you put in there some operators but what kind of is it some kind of algebra or what's in general would live in in the corner is there some kind of idea of what's the structure you mean on the world street you're talking about I mean there are certain boundary conditions that can be modified I mean this is what usually we have no I don't think I don't have a lot to add to what I said here to be honest maybe I just kind of a second question because from the very beginning I think it's something strange because it's 120 degrees maybe you should define the location depending on the angle it's not just an algebra the angle was the thing that was part of the story of witness construction I think my construction actually goes away with it because I merely get to an algebra so I don't even need to work with the same pictures of course I have an arbitrary midpoint sort of still I mean that issue is still there there's some way you have to break the re-parameterization invariance to do this but once you calculate only B or C invariant quantity that dependence must disappear which is the same actually as in witness construction no and that's I think it's almost similar he had to go through some consistency conditions to make sure that everything worked and but this maybe even make it make it easier I did some conjecture how to relate boundaries in field theory with witness Kubik so remember in the paper you mentioned I derived the tension for boundaries in field theory partition function and things like that so I will explain the literature there are two terms in the action I derived for boundaries in field theory I'm impressed that you remember it but that's good so there are two terms and one of the terms was partition function boundaries I wanted to interpret as taking the disk to my fingers maximum is 120 degrees and that's upside, upside, upside I got 80 the first term was derivative partition function along the wet function so that one is AQA where Q and beta are identified in terms of the space of deformations so I wanted to interpret that AQA comes from beta to Z and the AQ comes from Z A is 120 degree divided by three parts on one side you have boundary condition as you say arbitrary and on the other side no problem always goes in the middle because you need A of X and here is X and here is the boundary of X okay anyway we will discuss that so let's think over again


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So this is very unexpected, today is May 26th, first day of my 36th week, and I'm in labor. I know. I'm at loss of words.  I was having contractions last night too, but I thought they were just wrecks and hicks as always because they weren't consistent. They were like coming and then taking a long pause. The only difference is these were actually painful. The wrecks and hicks that I was getting before weren't painful, so I knew this was different. By the same time, I thought that it would pass once I lay down, get some rest, which for the past few days, ever since my event, I have not been doing anything. I've been relaxing, but this baby is like I'm coming, so what am I supposed to do but to welcome the baby? I don't have anything. Oh gosh, I'm getting another one. I'm about to go into shower. You're doing the same thing. Yeah. Focus more on your breathing and everything else. Let's do this. We're eating at 5.30pm. We have to go back home. I'm going to see her. She's going to see me and come home by then. Open up. I'll ask this kid to go to the meeting. I'm going to go see her. That's what I'll do. Yes? Yes. Just going back to back. Okay mom, another one. Okay. I'm going to start. You didn't find it? I don't know. I don't know. Pretty face. Pretty waist. Pretty eyes. Pretty face. Pretty legs. Pretty legs. Life ain't really pretty. But you're pretty babe. Pretty flower. Pretty flower. Pretty rose. I want to grow up. I want to grow up. Pretty flower. Pretty flower. Pretty rose. I want to grow up. I'm going to clean it out. I don't want to be a real black. I just know. And more legs. I'll put some damage. It's super hilarious! I like it very much! It looks very itselfy in the eye. And they gave lots of中類 good reviews!  Yes. Oh. Oh. I thought you said it was a cool song. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That was a factor back then. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. No, I have... Oh. I can just go in the water. I have this. To this start the 36 weeks. Yeah. So, it's going to be a... a preemie baby. Mm-hmm. Do you feel any like you need to push or anything? A little bit. Yeah. A lot of pressure. A lot of pressure? Yeah. I need to put some. Do you have any chucks pads to put on the bed? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Made it up. I need to make up this. Yeah. It's a good thing I left that in the car from another bird. She's on her way to bring me the things that I left at her house. Because I couldn't find her. She had gone out to get something from the children. One is the longest one. She had two minutes. Oh. But... I don't even matter right now. I think you have time. No, it's alright. Just come and lay down. I think she's pushing. You push her?  You don't have to lean down. You feel uncomfortable like that? No, just put her leg on her back. I'm just going to sit here and give her a hug. She's having another one. I can go to your mama? Oh, okay. Alright. You can get the thing back. Thank you. There's me. It's chess. Never mind. That's good. That's one of the reflexes. Yeah, you have a call. They're about the same, right? Yeah, they should be the same. Not yet. They see how long you are. The chess on the head. The head circumference and the chess. Huh? The head circumference. When your mom comes. Mom, could you hold that? Could you take that for me, please? That doesn't start from one. You're on the wrong end. No, no, this. I had it the wrong way for the next one. Like 45. No, that's why I was looking. That's not possible. I know. Never mind. Okay. 19. I have to remember these. 13, 13, 19. Never mind.   Huh? That's good. That's the moral reflex. That's what you want. And this is another reflex there. And then check the hairs. That's the... I just rub this in. I just rub that in. And then now you go like this and you're not supposed to hear a click. And we don't hear a click. And then we go and we make sure that this is skewed in the back. I'm sorry. Never mind. Never mind. This is skewed. He is at home, right? Yeah. And then... He is at home. And you see? Yeah.  I shouldn't say balls. Testes. They don't tell us balls, but I call them. I know this is the first time I ever see this point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because he slid. See, but it's the second time. You know that part, that bottom part of your... This is not... I've got to get my phone. Yeah, it comes right up. And this line is perfect. He's just... As you start to be able to see it. No. And he's not that thin. Six pounds, right? How much is he? Six. I mean, for a preemie baby they have to turn babies that way. Yeah. And this is all normal movement. And he has the reflex. That's a reflex. You want to know when I touch him that he moves towards that thing. Yeah. He's perfect.   And it should be... This should be the same or maybe two inches more or less. And it's almost the same. Did you still want to check? Yes. That's why I didn't put it on yet. I just want to make sure that she was detached. And then now the bag is perfect. Right? The bag stays on like that? Yeah. This was attached to you. Yeah. And this was like this. This was attached to your uterus. Right. In the back. He was in here like that. He was in here. Imagine how that thing stretch out so big. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't seem like it, right? This has nothing to do with... This is nothing to... But it's not. It's strong, right? But when it comes out, it looks fragile, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's why I said when I was... I'm sitting there. You know, only two black people in the class. And I said, oh, this has to be God. Everybody... I was just so in awe of fetal physiology. You and I couldn't create anything like that. It had to be somebody bigger than us. You know what I mean? But you don't say that in Babylon school. That's what you see. Yeah. Yeah, those are plots, yeah. That's a plot from this side. You see? Yeah. So which way should I keep it? How did you keep it? The last time I thought you had it open, right? Yeah, I don't know. You had it open, if I recall. This side, yeah. Yeah, and you were sprinkling stuff. This is how you had it, if I remember. Yeah. And then... It's going to be sensitive, and I'm going to... I'm going to just put on some gloves to protect you. And then I'm going to get some raw, raw gauze pad fresh, that sterile. Just a look. All right? Let me just go wash my hands. Huh? So... So the line-in is just going to be a little bad right now because where I'm sitting, but life isn't really a movie, okay? A whole movie. I believe I just gave birth. I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything. He's just here, snuggled up to his mama. I'm trying to keep him as warm as possible. Where do I even start? Okay, so I'm a holo-camera like this as long as my arms allow me to, but... So, um... I think I mentioned in my first flip today is May 26th. This has been a crazy week. After my event, I decided to take it real easy. I stayed off my feet. I wasn't doing much. I still have... I'm going to have to lay down. Give me one second. My lips are dry. But, um... Yeah, I wasn't doing much. I was taking it easy. I really spent most of my time on my laptop trying to get my labels ready for my products. I had literally a schedule for this week to finish up some last-minute things so I could be ready for Agfair. And, um... By Tuesday, I was out... Not Tuesday. By, yeah, yesterday. Yesterday was Wednesday. So, um, Wednesday, which was yesterday, May 25th, I was actually out of it. I caught a cold from my boys and, like, I couldn't even stay out of bed. I pretty much slept the whole day. I was coughing, congested. I had a migraine that would not go away. Like, from my waist... No, from my hips down was just aching me. Aching so bad. So, I pretty much stayed in bed all day. When I did get up, I just rolled over to my laptop trying to update a few labels and then I would just go back to sleep. I was just out of it. And, um, yesterday was actually supposed to be my day for doing my photo shoot. My, um, pregnancy photo shoot. Of course, that didn't happen. So, um, during the day yesterday, I was also getting a lot of Braxton Hicks. Like, just constantly. They weren't painful yet. But I was getting them a lot. So, by nighttime, like evening nighttime, they started to get painful. Like, I could feel it in my lower pelvis area and my lower back. I just thought there were still Braxton Hicks and all through the night, I was getting them. Like, at one point, I woke up and I was like, okay, let me time it to see if, to see how close they are. I timed three of them and they were like two to three minutes apart and then it would take a break. And then they would come back and they would be two to three minutes apart again. And I was like, this is kind of sporadic. So, maybe it's not labor pains. So, I went through the night dealing with that. Then this morning, this morning, I was still getting them and they were even a little more intense in terms of the pain. But, very manageable. It wasn't anything that I was like alarmed about. My mother actually came and she was like, do you sure you're not in labor? And I was just like, I can't because I don't want to go to the hospital. And, what do you want to notice? So, let me fix him. So, yeah, just more initials. I was like, I better not be in labor because I don't want to go to the hospital. I'm not considered full term yet. Today is my first day of my 36 weeks and they don't consider anything full term before 37 weeks. So, I was pretty much in denial as usual. And this time I was only in denial because I was too early. Like, I'm not even past the date that would consider me full term. If it's one thing all my babies always knew how to do is latch. They do not play when it comes to sucking to Tina's son. I even still have like a little reminence of the cold from yesterday. But, if you saw me yesterday compared to today, you would not believe that I was sick. It was bad. But all of that was probably just part of it, the whole everything because your body tried to get rid of as much stuff as possible when it's about to get burnt. It doesn't want any mucus in the way and it just tried to purge, get rid of everything. And that's pretty much what happened yesterday because I literally cough up and cough up a lot of mucus yesterday. And today. Anyways, what was I saying?  So I was pretty much home. My father was like in and out but I was pretty much home all day with the boys.  Because he usually doesn't get sick. This is really his first time actually being sick. So he's taking it pretty hard and he doesn't like it. He just wants to be on me by my side all day. He was literally glued to me. Yesterday we were both in bed all day and then again today he was just stuck on me like every minute he wanted me to lift him up he wants to lay on me, he wants to sleep on me. So that was my day. Pretty much juggling him, juggling these contractions and trying to update my labels.  And she came in the room to check on me. And I actually was in with the one year old because again he was glued to me.  So I called her and I said take him and right after that contraction like shortly after I got a next one and then right after that I felt this gush just just gush and I was on the toilet so of course I was on the toilet and I just knew it was my water breaking. It didn't fully break but that was part of it. So at that point I was like yeah this is it, this baby coming today like whether I want it to or not the baby is coming.  I think he just wanted to be on top of me and not on this side of me. I'm after birth pain especially when they nursing y'all and it'd be worse when you have your second and third child. But so yeah once once my water partially broke and I called my mom back into the bathroom I immediately told her I said call my call of my wife now, like right now. Yeah my lips are so dry and my lip balm is out of reach right now. So where was I? Yeah she called my Kata and I got off the toilet I went straight into the shower and I was in there for a little bit which you see in one of those clips and listen the contractions were just coming. I was just telling the baby like at least just wait for the midwife to get here although I wasn't scared or anything because my mother wouldn't know what to do too and I'm very confident that my mother would have been fine here by herself doing this with me but I still wanted someone else here because literally nothing here was prepared like nothing that I had in my mind for my birth plan was in place and I just have to let go of all of that and accept the fact that I was having the baby like even to record everything I picked up the camera and tried to do as much as possible when you're in labor it's only so much you could do and holding that camera to record your own birth is not one of those things so like I couldn't have none of my sisters here to hold the camera my mother was busy my Kata was busy so it's not like it was literally just us three so it's not like anybody could really record anything and I really wanted to record every single detail of this birth but I I honestly don't even know what I captured on what I didn't capture because at one point my camera kept turning off and I didn't realize why until after that my mom memory card was full yeah that's how out of it I was I was supposed to bend delete some of the footage I already took off the memory card and I didn't so I don't know what I captured and I think as soon as I started pushing the camera shut off so I don't even know if it captured that or not I gotta go back and look so for anybody that was actually looking forward to a nice detailed birth video I'm sorry but it happened how it happened and I can't change anything about that now all I could do is share my story verbally and put whatever footage I did capture so yeah so once I got out the shower shortly after the midwife came and I'll say about 15-20 minutes later my body pushed it was not forced at all my body literally ejected him out the first push his head came out the second push his body came out and that was it he was born at 340 or 342 it was quick it was very quick I laid down on the bed they put him on top of me all of that I wish I could have reported but at that point like if I just had a little bit more time I could have set up my tripod everything happened so quick and that's the thing when it's your second third baby the chances of you being in labor long is very slim that baby is ready to come I'm still wrapping my head around everything first thing I'm still wrapping my head around is the fact that I have another boy he had everybody fooled we all thought that this was definitely a girl but as y'all know I did not find out the gender so it was just all speculations and this is the perfect example of how everything they tell you is a myth based on how your belly is based on your cravings your this, your that it's all myths like you just never know I was sick throughout my whole pregnancy with my first two boys and not with this one so that was one of the reasons why I thought it was a girl the next thing is I crave sweet things instead of salty things I would just way more like up and about felt good, felt pretty dressed up for the reason when I was leaving the house but all of that really had to do with the fact that I was just in a better place and a happier place ever since leaving my situation is, I'm not upset at all I'm happy for another healthy baby I did want a girl I'm not gonna lie but I have me and little boy and I guess I had to have been carrying a lion in order to get myself out of the situation I was in because it took a lot of strength and courage not saying that a girl couldn't do that but she truly protected me and was definitely my strength through all of that so I'm gonna be very upset when I edit this video cause there's gonna be a lot of sniffling and I hate that but I am actually a little congested right now so I apologize in advance so here I am May 26th, my due date was June 29th although I didn't expect to until June 29th I thought I would at least have until mid June about I'll say June 10th the latest but this baby was ready and feels like ready or not here I come pretty much and he's here I don't know what's gonna happen this weekend with the act fair but the boot is paid for so I'm gonna see how that goes and I am a little disappointed in that because I was really using this to relash my business and like even if my sister does sit in for me like nobody can sell your products the way you sell it and everybody know me for my products so it's just gonna be different and I can't stress about it now it is what it is but I will make an announcement on social media and we'll see how that goes it's just I just know that I can't leave the house and I'm definitely not taking him out the house and I'm kind of doing a little spirit too so there's no way he's coming out the house it's just it just goes against all postpartum healing protocols like you do not leave your house days after giving birth especially when you have a home birth hospital births are a little different because you're in the hospital but home births any any season midwife would tell you not to leave the house and not to be up and down within days of giving birth and as a doula I wouldn't even do that or encourage anybody to do that so I just had to come to I'm still coming to terms with it but I have to come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to be able to really be at agfare at all and I hope it still goes well but it is what it is and these after birth contractions right now I just need to do some rest and cheese and bread if you know you know that's all I could say anyways so this little one for me is considered premature just because he was born at 36 weeks and literally 36 weeks in terms of one and 36 how did they count it 36 weeks in one day I think that's how it's counted I'm actually going to look it up real quick they actually called this, this is actually considered I'm at 36 weeks but in terms of counting it to the day is actually 35 weeks in one day yeah so he's considered premature but I'm happy for my midwife because any other midwife would have sent me to the hospital and that is not what I wanted and I'm always confident in my body that if I'm healthy I can do what I need to do and it's not like the baby was in any type of danger and my midwife knows me well so she was confident during what she did everybody is different so it's not something that she would do for anybody and it's not something that I would recommend that anybody else do but he was born happy and healthy and all his vitals are great there's no signs of any issues he was kicking and crying and moving and he's not struggling to breathe or anything he lashed on perfectly from the first time and he weighed six pounds 18 inches long I believe and he was born at 340 oh boy mom still regardless I'm happy and I love that relief because I was getting into the point that in my pregnancy where I was just tired big and just over being pregnant and y'all know how we get in the third trimester it's rough so I'm a little bit relieved in that sense a little bit disappointed because of agfair but overall I am happy that I was able to give birth to a healthy baby and that I am healthy and that I was able to have another home birth this is life no matter what you have planned you're not always in control especially when it comes to these babies they'd be the one in control he just wants to be skin to skin right now which he should be so actually Loki needs a pedo so gotta figure out how I'm gonna get up I cannot believe this I just gave birth five days after my birth but in all in all it kind of takes the message from it do you wanna latch again okay look at him I want to teach him a lot to be honest being that he's been such my protector throughout this whole journey and just based on how everything happened with this pregnancy and given that May the month of May last year for me was so traumatic and just not the best I guess ending off this month on a good note was his way of giving me that gift of life back it's something to change the narrative of what the month of May means to me because last year really ruined that for me and now this year I get to tell a different story and I'm very appreciative for that other than all of that I'm just gonna rest up and start to get things for myself and the baby I literally had nothing I don't want to say nothing but like nothing for nothing that you would have knowing that you're about to have a baby I didn't even have campers thankfully the midwife had a bag of things from another mom who gave birth but she gave birth to a girl so my mother just went through the bag and took out some gender neutral stuff which wasn't much but at least it's something and I got a whole bag of campers out of that so so I'm grateful for that and I'll just get things little by little as I need them I'm really I've really learned how to just let go and not force things and life works out a little better that way when you don't get too attached to what your expectations were because so you get disappointed very easily I'm not saying that I'm going to lower my standards when it comes to other things I'm saying that just if generally speaking sometimes you're not always fully in control and that's okay at those times you learn to let go and let the universe take its course and things seem to work out anyways so that's where I'm at right now anyways I do hope you all enjoyed this video I wish I had more actual raw footage to show you all but I don't I don't even know what I captured and what I didn't capture so I'll only you know when I actually start editing these footage and put it in together I hope I got the part of me pushing but I I recall looking over and hearing my camera shut off while I was pushing maybe next time no wonder it'll be the next time because your girl is dumb I ever have another baby and I'll have to be for somebody worthy of it worthy of me getting pregnant again worthy of everything and right now I see no suspects so for now I'm done I'll just be a boy mom until for a new mountains anyways thank you all for watching to all my melanated women out there protect your room by any means necessary and to everybody watching protect your feet by any means necessary you always see me in my next video


What's up trade hackers welcome to today's update today's Tuesday, August 25th Well the S&P March continues higher although the Dow was slightly negative on the day down about 30 points Nasdaq plus 80 so the biggest gainer of the indices in the Russell up a little bit as well Other things going on so we are we got short bonds a couple days ago. We're actually using TLT and And so it had a nice down day in our favor, so that worked out. Well, we also put in a an iron duck in our friend Amazon So Amazon hovering near all-time highs You know Tesla and Apple are getting ready to split Apple's gonna do a four for one split Tesla's doing a five for one split Amazon's trading at over thirty three hundred dollars a share So it's it's interesting that they have not come out and done a stock split yet I would assume at some point that they are going to but we shall see not yet But our iron duck trade on we put on it's got no risk to the upside In fact, we'll make a little bit of money of this thing goes up no matter how high if it comes down We've got a big buffer to the downside where we can book a max profit. So that's what we're doing in Amazon Did a couple other rolls today Checking out some of the other stocks kind of a mixed bag I mean you got you know bed bath and beyond or excuse me. I always get those mixed up best buy had earnings For the bell this morning down four percent on the day Was down quite a bit more, but as you can see it bounced up from there financials pretty strong And then but it's kind of a mixed bag not not not definitely not a correlated move in any one direction You got micron up about three percent. So a nice move there You've got zoom zoom and higher up almost another three percent Our buddy Tesla Buddy Tesla pretty pretty muted day as far as moves go recently, but again at the end of this month Five for one stock split on Tesla. So that'll bode well for our day trading strategy So it won't be such an expensive stock not not such an expensive option to trade Speaking of day trading the first two days of the week Monday and Tuesday our mighty 90s strategies performing well winners both days Did have some losers in our pairs trades So our pairs trades did really really well last week And have not performed well this week, but our mighty 90 continues to rock it If you want to check that out, just go to navigation trading comm a slash day trade We live stream in the morning for the first 90 minutes of the day hence the name the mighty 90 It's only traded in the first part of the morning. So good stuff. Look forward to seeing you there Everybody have a great evening. Talk to you soon


Hey guys Spooky bear here with another episode of Shea Bear Paranormal Stay tuned to find out what I have for you. Okay guys what I'm going to play for you next is It's going to be some ghost drop box ghost box responses from an abandoned house This is in Ohio and it's it's a pretty old video But I'm just going to be highlighting the captures in it the responses that I captured So a couple of them. Well, they're pretty much all direct responses. So You know, I've got it to where You know, I'll play it You'll you know, it'll be played raw unedited and then cleaned up a little and amplified some so you could hear it better So check this out and see what you think Is there anybody here with us right now?  All right, so without being said it's getting pretty hot under these sheets So I'm going to get the hell out of here y'all have a safe and happy Halloween So we'll see you guys soon chat soon. Shea Bear the myth of man legend. I'm gone for now. Bye. Bye guys. Take care


So, let's not put anybody up on a pedestal, neither should we condemn anyone, because behaviors aren't the whole picture, and because everything we see is an outward picture of an inward condition. If we see something we don't like in the world or in a behavior, it's simply something we need to pluck out of our own consciousness. If we see an enemy, then we need to pluck that out. We're not going to find that perfect equality unless we are good at plucking, plucking, plucking judgmental thoughts, plucking opinions. And wow, I feel like the only reason I ever talk about the parable of David is because they're just symbols of trust, of divine trust, hitting the open road for five years with no financial support, no organizational support, just going out like the Sinyasis from India, you know, just going out there and seeing what shows up, talking to Jesus, listening to Jesus. This is fun. It builds your trust, it takes you beyond economics, it takes you beyond fears of survival, it takes you outside of careers, outside of jobs, you know, I really took an early retirement when the course came, I still had student loans to pay, but Jesus, you know, here you're going to go, here you're going to work at this, you've got to clear this up first and then you're mine. I'll use you in ways you can't even comprehend, so don't even ask or don't even try to figure out the future. I've got you. I will go before you and make straight your path and leave no stones, trip on, no obstacles to bar your way. To go beyond the words of that beautiful passage, to promise, to go into the actual experience of divine love and trust, leaves you in a state where you don't have a care or a worry about anything at all. That's what this is about. He says, can you imagine how wonderful it was to have such a quiet, tranquil mind? That is what time is for, to learn just that and nothing more. He's inviting us into stillness and we have to trust to do that. We're not going to be able to carry on this past learning, this old conversation of what do I got to do and how am I going to do it? The Holy Spirit and Jesus are the how.


Suspense! Tonight, AutoLite and its 96,000 dealers present Mr. Gregory Peck in Nightmare, a suspense play produced and edited by William Spear. Friends, AutoLite welcomes you to suspense and this is Harlow Wilcox urging you to do yourself and your car the great big bountiful favor of replacing old worn-out narrow gap spark plugs with a set of new wide gap AutoLite resistor spark plugs. That's the biggest news I know, but I've also been told to tell you that suspense is going to receive a great big important national honor tonight during our usual between-the-act intermission. And say when it comes to honors, you will want to award your car a set of wide gap AutoLite resistor spark plugs. Your engine will idle smoother, give better performance on leaner gas mixtures, actually save gas. And if you want the real lowdown on how AutoLite resistor spark plugs reduce television interference, see a copy of this week's Saturday Evening Post and turn to pages eight and nine. See your AutoLite spark plug dealer today and remember you're always right with AutoLite. Oh and remember too, suspense on television returns to many stations throughout the nation Tuesday night, September 6th. And now with Nightmare and with the performance of Gregory Peck, AutoLite hopes once again to keep you in suspense. They say every nightmare has a prelude, something that inspires it, something that happened or almost happened that your inmost mind seizes upon.  And then when it's full-sized with dread, it springs out at us from evil blackness at night when you're defenseless in sleep. The prelude to my nightmare occurred at six o'clock that evening, the third of July. Since Elsa's illness, I've been walking home from the station evenings instead of having her meet me. It's a pleasant six or seven blocks along Hartsdale Road and then up the hill to Ridgecrest, just at the corner there, the kids play baseball. The signs say slow children and everything but it's a nasty spot and coming down the hill a guy might look out look out hey you what's the matter with you don't you know that you can't see him brother they got no right to play have you been drinking hold me no because if you had I'd pull you out of that car so fast and take you over to the police all right brother calm down nobody's hurt nobody's hurt just a little scared I was still trembling when I got home my head ached and I couldn't eat dinner it wasn't something I could tell Elsa about she wasn't ready yet to hear things like that so I just sat there at the table looking across at Steady half hearing his prattle about the new fishing rod and how many fish he'd catch on our outing tomorrow and some little story he'd learned in school about Thomas Jefferson and the first Fourth of July and then pretty early I took a pill and went to bed it was the next afternoon we were driving along my wife my boy and myself you know that winding road that leads up from Kingston to Falls Town in the trout country a lot of hairpin turns and a few bad shoulders but beautiful beautiful scenery and that's what we all needed after her nervous breakdown a little slow around the turns Ben why do you drive so fast you're never driving too fast as long as you feel the cars under control better it wasn't our control a minute ago what a curve Ben the gas tank's almost empty why didn't you listen to me and fill up at the last station there's always a reserve after the empty mark that we run out of gas well it seems to me youngster that when I tell you that what's wrong why are we stopping oh that's what I'd like to know yeah yeah I know how to gas oh Ben will you ever learn well everybody runs out of gas once in a while okay well it's a nice day for me to take a hike but Ben is it all right to be parked like this on the curve so close to the road no why not where's the traffic only adventurers like us know about this road well goodbye folks oh with you dad oh no you'll stay here rule of the woods always leave one man behind to protect the women can I take out my rod can I practice how to cast sure and you lady you wipe off that smile with my feet this is the first class tragedy that's a smart thing you did coming back this way nothing up ahead for five miles but the royal coachman what do you mean his name for trout fly well I know that name of a roadhouse fancy name for a saloon hang out for fishermen they say oh oh what do you say don't go there crookeders looking bunch ever seen crooks from the big town you go to my nephew Sammy's place in town Sammy Crawford clean sheets good beds home cooking good undertaker to call yourself a mortician what do they need him for the fish a live redid he put you to bed well one anything else how's your oil just the cash thanks are we all straight yeah oh one dollar deposit on the can give it to my nephew Sammy and let him take the dollar off your bill oh well we may not see Sammy we'd like to pitch camp tonight got a place no that's bad gets dark mighty quick up this way you sleep at Sammy's missed him better make a reservation trout season now maybe you're right you got a telephone in there you have 15 cents oh this is gonna be expensive fishing or what's nephew Sammy's number it's right here on the wall over the phone oh say look at that fella coming down the pike there 80 miles bound for the roadhouse can't wait say there are two dozen numbers over this phone pick the biggest one the one in red oh look at him go would you go on you're crazy for you you're gonna save five minutes if you have to kill five people to do it will you try to straighten out some of them bins up ahead you're crazy for the pine trees were casting their last longest shadows across the road as i hiked back to the car well we weren't gonna get too much fishing done on the fourth of july but we had to find sound for Stevie what a kid teasing his old man all the time when i came around that the hairpin turned and there was the car a few yards away but no family uh Elsa hey Stevie no family oh Stevie was asleep and she didn't want to call out that's right the kid was tired a lot of excitement for one day i stepped on something Stevie's trout rod lying in the middle of the road these kids have no sense of responsibility a split bamboo rod with silk winding and a balance that was so perfect well i stepped up to the car Elsa sat in the back seat looking at me and in her lap she held my boy dead Elsa couldn't speak she couldn't speak she couldn't speak i forced some brandy between her teeth made her swallow it hands were like ice i wanted to rub them but i couldn't pry them loose from the boy no no you want to make sure i know you want to make sure Elsa how did it happen his trout rod he was standing at the edge there casting he wasn't on the road he wasn't and then there was a noise a car coming up fast you could tell and before we could move it came around the bend and it swirled so much dust so much dust and pebbles everywhere such a thick cloud of dust and Stevie flying out of it like a ball or a bird flying out of it Elsa take some more brandy it'll do your good no no i don't want any get away Elsa you've got to take some more brandy Elsa that's how he looked standing in the road with the bottle in his hand who was standing in the road the man the man who killed us he he came back he got out of his car and he came over to where i lay in the road with Stevie he had a bottle and he took a drink and he offered me a drink and he said he was sorry and then he drove away he said he was sorry sorry Elsa Elsa darling Elsa don't don't Elsa and then it began to grow in me and then the hate began to grow she couldn't remember his car or the clothes he wore and i couldn't make her describe his face but i knew that somehow i'd find him couldn't be very far off not in this part of the country i'd find him and when i did i'd kill him auto light is bringing you mr. Gregory Peck in nightmare tonight's production in radio's outstanding theater of thrills suspense and this does my auto light heart good it's my privilege to introduce mr. Fred Dearborn president of the national safety council who will present to mr. Royce G Martin president of auto light the national safety council's annual award for but you can't guess an auto light suspense program yes suspense not only won the alfred p slone award for distinguished public service to highway safety but another great honor for this same program will now be presented friends mr. Dearborn thank you harlow wilcox the national safety council wishes to thank you mr. martin and the electric auto light company for bringing to your tremendous radio audience the years outstanding highway safety program james cagney and the suspense show titled no escape it was a wonderful story presented to perfection by mr. cagney and his supporting cast the judges unanimously selected it as the winner so now mr. martin i have the pleasure of presenting to you this certificate of award thank you mr. Dearborn in promoting highway safety and you can rest assured it is a great pleasure to have suspense when this outstanding recommendation from the national security council i speak for one and all of auto light employees i trust that tonight's show will make an equal contribution especially at this time with a heavy travel over the labor day weekend thank you again mr. Dearborn and now auto light brings back to our hollywood soundstage gregory peck in nightmare a tale well calculated to keep you in suspense i plunged the car back into darkness toward the roadhouse the killer the dirty dirty killer there was so much dust dust and pebbles and stevie flying on him like a bird yes like a bird yes outside he got out of his car and he offered me a drink he stood there and he said you better take a drink well there's the royal coachman that roadhouse and he said he was sorry he'll stop here and use the phone there's a sam crawford in false town he runs some tourist house and a funeral chapel i'll call him from here yes see all the lights why are all the lights on it's a roadhouse elsa so many people going why are they laughing well they don't know how we feel elsa they don't know about us is it all right to leave you here for a moment i i want to call there he is would you like me to elsa that's him he killed us that's him who the one who hit stevie where there he is where that one the man standing in the doorway how do you know can you see his face came over and he stood close and he said you better take a drink he was big and fat and his body filled the frame of the door he ran a pudgy hand across his face now he was drunk all right and he was trying to shake and he never drive again not after i got through with him elsa sit back now don't let anyone see you he killed us yes i know i know wave here elsa wait here don't get out of the car i watched him go inside he walked across the lobby and disappeared in the bar i went in after him he was sitting there his elbows on the bar and his head between his hands i said where i could watch him and still not be too close yeah with soda before the bartender hardly let go he had it down and then his watery bloodshot eyes looked about the room his eyes caught mine called to the bartender and then whispered something in his ear looking at me then pointing the bartender walked over what'll it be mac oh uh oh nothing uh really i i don't care for anything all right it's on this gentleman have a drink fella it's on me no thanks can't drink alone never could come on i'll have a drink what'll it be can it sell the man you gotta have a drink with him come on better take a drink with him fella oh soda just plain soda but i'll pay for it myself just plain soda please here's the money what do you think you're doing he don't want your money isn't that right your money's no good here he kept breathing in my face and talking and ordering more drinks and i kept thinking of elsa in the car the way her eyes changed when she saw him the thing in her eyes when she looked at him that fat man breathing down my neck and guzzling like nothing happened i'll have it again the same way come on fella drink up come on you can't drink that stuff without something in the drink hey i give him something in that soda i don't want anything he don't want anything don't want it you know i'll have it again the same way coming up he kept looking at me breathing at me he had the face of such an ordinary man only very beefy such an ordinary man how could he do what he did and then run away i wondered who he was what kind of working day did he have a family did he have a son of his own was he having all those drinks to try to forget well i couldn't let him forget how long was he gonna sit there a couple more drinks and he finally got up threw a bill on the bar and started to go hey you change never mind the change he waved a pudgy hand big shot big tipper very generous nice guy even offered elsa a drink after he killed our boy i followed him into the lobby he went to the desk two fifty seven he started for the elevator i hurried to the stairway i ran up to the second floor i waited off the stairway landing and watched the elevator door open wait a minute not so fast i said wait a minute don't shut that door not so fast i want to ask you a question i have to go people ringing can i ask you a question please step away from the door you're blocking answer my question get away from the sure now ask me whether you he started down the hall coming towards me i stepped back into the stairway took a cigarette out of my packet started to light it he walked past then he stopped oh i didn't want to talk to him just wanted to do it and get it over with i started toward him we were alone and somebody was coming down the stairs you wouldn't mind coming along i don't like it even the service is lousy in the place one elevator you can die how's about a light well before i can answer him his fat pudgy hand closed over mine and drew the lighted match to the cigarette in his mouth he puffed loosely his hand was damp and warm i drew back thanks yeah yeah see you're out i counted the doors as he passed on down the hall one two three the fifth door down that was his room i walked slowly down i stood in front of his door so now it would happen i uh i want to ask you something may i sure sure come in come in he waddled over to the bed and sat down there you sit down this watery bloodshot eyes blinking at me i didn't know how to begin or what to do the blind rage was gone something happened to me now suddenly i i didn't know what i was doing there what do you want walked over to the window fumbling for some foolish excuse it was no use i couldn't kill anybody i couldn't do it ask you what do you want i looked out of the window the light from the neon sign in the roof made everything look so lonely and dead what's the matter with you and there was my car in the driveway and elsa sitting there and face the thin outline of her face so gray or her mouth pressed tight in a straight hard line what do you want for me she was holding my son holding him tight press close to her holding him my son what do you want why did you kill my son huh you're drunken fool why did you kill my son you're crazy shut eyes bulging from his head frightened and guilty he reached for the phone and then i was on him why did you kill him you killed him you killed him it was done all done and over with and now i felt better now it would be easier be a little less pain when they buried my son you all right i made sure of that now let's get out of here a twisted black top road unwound steadily under the headlights but something had changed it it was no longer a road it was a cloudy misty jungle where everyone was old and haggard and there were no children and then we brought our boy into falls town don't mind a suggestion mr kane you look pretty done in when we carried the boy out of the car i had a look at your wife as i know good thing you didn't stop at the royal coachman where the royal coachman that's a roadhouse halfway between here and my uncle's gas station you didn't see it uh no well it's all lit up with neon like a regular christmas tree troopers just fallen there's a job for me somebody choked somebody to death lots of excitement oh well uh who who did it they'll find him she looks bad your wife we ought to get her right to bed yes elsa well this is sam crawford elsa he's going to take care of stevie and we're going to sleep in his house tonight i think we need some sleep don't you that's him what do you mean that's him he did it he did what he killed my son elsa i'm sammy crawford ma'am i run the local he killed us he killed us elsa elsa look at me are you all right elsa i don't think she knows what she's saying he came over he stood there with a bottle he said he was sorry elsa elsa this is sammy crawford he wasn't there he was here miles away he killed us i'll get doc sadler it's the matter with the elsa i know he didn't do it he couldn't have i was talking to him on the telephone when it happened from the gas station elsa we know who did do it we know and he's dead he said he was sorry he said he was sorry elsa look across the street elsa do you hear me look across the street yes you see that man walking toward the street light can you see him answer me yes we'll just look at him elsa that's all there now now he now he's under the light that's him no that's him no that's him he did it he did it elsa that's a minister you know it wasn't a minister you saw and it wasn't sam crawford he was talking to me on the telephone that's him no that's him no elsa no no no no no no no then no then darling hello stevie hi darling what on it great racking i uh there's a nightmare oh else it was it was did he lost a job yes yes that was it how did you know because i know everything come on now up out of bed we've got a big day fall of july comes but once a year garage doors open stevie boy well we burn up the road stevie stop that talk oh i'm sorry you know instead of going up by falls town and up there we'll cut across just before kinkston and find our fishing over around litchfield huh i feel like Connecticut today okay dad what did you dream about darling it was so awful me well since you have to know i had a horrible jealous dream i dreamt you didn't love me oh dear oh that was the wildest dream imaginable now wasn't that a waste of time suspense presented by auto light tonight star Gregory peck in nightmare mr peck the subject of our show and your character portrayal won't do highway safety any harm this labor day weekend today's newspapers carried some dreadful predictions of the accidents and deaths likely to happen yes i saw them and if i may i'd like to add a few words of my own on this subject of safety the mic is yours greg well this evening the electric auto light company has been honored for its efforts on behalf of highway safety you too can earn such an award of course yours won't be quite the same no bronze plaque or embossed certificates and no one will pin any medals on you yours will be a greater more personal reward the deep felt satisfaction that comes from knowing that you've taken care and not endangered your own life or the lives of others so drive carefully won't you today tomorrow always thank you yes folks drive carefully and drive happily too by switching now to new white gap auto light resistor spark plugs their ignition engineered to work as a perfect team with your car's complete electrical system so for a smoother engine idle and long spark plug life just remember you're always right with auto light next thursday for suspense ray maland will be our star the play is called chicken feed and it's the story of a man whose life was worth literally a nickel it is as we say a tale well calculated to keep you in suspense tonight suspense play was produced and edited by william spear and directed by norman mcdonnell appearing with mr peck were lorraine tuttle and alan reed music for suspense is composed by lucian moral wek and conducted by ludd bluskin nightmare was a radio play by herb meadows from a story by samuel bloss gregory peck is currently being seen in mgm's the great sinner don't forget next thursday same time auto light will present suspense starring ray maland resistors park plugs auto light staple batteries auto light electrical parts at your neighborhood auto light dealers drive right switch to auto light goodnight this is cbs the columbia broadcasting system