And it's undeniable. It's undeniable that when you see that you know that the animal doesn't want to die Yeah, it's on you have to be honestly man. It's like to think anything. Otherwise is delusional. Yeah, it's delusional. Yeah All right, here we are another episode of the Carb Strong cast that I'm here with an old friend of mine Abdullah Znab Abdullah is a YouTuber weightlifter Amateur cyclist turned ultra endurance athlete inspirational speaker all of those things good bloke So we've got Abdullah here the last time I seen you Abdullah was probably on my light up the world tour I think mm-hmm. You were the guy behind the camera Putting in the hard work holding that camera for hours on end. How did how's life treating you now? No, it's been great man since then. I mean how long ago was that? That would have to have been that was November 2018 Yeah, I just feel I don't know. I yeah, it's been good a lot. So yeah, it's been good But it just feels like we're here now. So yeah, well, let's talk a little bit about you your story So where are you from originally born in Australia? I'm born in Australia. Yeah, and your parents one from Palestine one from Jordan Yeah, awesome, man So you've got a bit of culture behind you and stuff like that So what always intrigues me about you bro is your mentality and I don't know where that comes from But you've got this mentality to push through some pain barriers But is there anything that happened in your childhood that gave you that sort of mental edge? I don't know. I think surely there would have been something I was training from a very young age Yeah, partially because I was just so insecure. Yeah, so that those years of insecurity and training I Developed the skills. I pushed so hard because I felt worthless Yeah, so that's where I really developed the skills to be disciplined and all for the wrong reasons But I still develop the skills to be able to push myself beyond what I thought was was capable So then I just it was more about to take those skills and then using them for different reasons Yeah, that's like you overshot the mark maybe because you felt insecure So then you started to push harder than more people I ever needed to to sort of feel satisfied or something like that Yeah Well, the problem is when you're like days is you never really can get satisfied Yeah, you're not really treating the cause of the problem.  Yeah, you know, so That's was the invaluable skill when I came into insurance cycling because it was just like oh, how can you how do you keep going? And I was like I'm just kept on my whole life anyway, you know, if you have a problem you keep going for years It's the same concept. You're just applying it now physically in the cycling realm Yeah, so it felt very natural to me Oh, I'm thinking like I'll be thinking crazy stuff and I'll be like oh, I've been thinking crazy stuff my whole life Yep, I know the show just continues anyway. Yep, so I was it was easy for me to push I wouldn't get bogged down by the thoughts It wasn't so much as a physical superstar It's just I'd get to that point that everyone gets to where it's like quit You know, but there's no point in doing this and I'd be like well I've thought of quitting before yeah, and I didn't quit so I'll just continue anyway now I've met your mom.  Yeah, definitely I mean my mom's supportive and she believes in me.  She can see it pretty clearly and she just helps keep me inspired and Yeah, and you know reaffirms that what I think about myself already amazing. That's killer, bro And um You battled some depression when you're a bit younger as well. How'd you get over that? How did I get it was a long process? I mean I started training because I was in the standard state of like I'm not good enough. Let me try and be good enough.  Yeah, I was all right How can I feel good again? And it was mostly just changing my beliefs and perceptions about the world and getting getting to the root of it that way and trying to Understand how I'm good enough without any of these things Yeah, and trying to find a way to be happy and at peace long term without the external world Which for that was like like I feel pretty at peace now, but it's still an ongoing project That's a 10-year just to get to that as a 10-year thing where I can have some sort of stability day in day out where I'm like, oh, I'm starting to feel Good overall long term, but it's a path. You know what I mean? Yeah Yeah, because you said you you battled with insomnia and you couldn't sleep and you didn't know how you're gonna get out of it Yeah, well that was yeah, see that was invaluable for cycling long distances because it was like now You're not gonna sleep was like why I've done I did five five years like really hard No, very minimal sleep. So yeah, but that was good for me because it gave me so much extra time To reflect and think which I didn't have before and ultimately my thinking led me to that point of dissatisfaction my beliefs led me to that point of dissatisfaction So I had to go back in there and try and re-understand How I got to that point because inevitably I had a pretty good childhood Yeah, like I come from a family where the work in terms of just like sheer life circumstance was done before me Yeah in my mom's time and my mom's time So it's not like I'm born into sheer poverty or something some abject poverty force on me But still I felt dissatisfied So I was very certain that I had led myself to that point. Yep via my thoughts and my beliefs So that extra time at night gave me time to go back in there and try and risk try and re-understand how I got there Which was great.  Yeah, it's actually physical suffering suffering or difficulty I don't really call it. I don't feel like it's suffering because it's something I choose to do Yeah, the loss of family member for no apparent cause or, you know sickness disease death that they're more Sufferings now in my own mind. I especially after doing cycling that choice is just difficult to me Difficult to me, but I still understood that no mat like the overarching thing is that all of that difficulty takes place in your mind Yeah, it's physically it shows up, but it's all digested interpreted and perceived within your mind So having worked on that so much is that it helped me negate a lot of that physical pain Yeah, how to push through Let's talk about So you developed as an amateur cyclist really just hopped on the bike You're more of a weightlifter, you know, you're putting in you're very disciplined for many many years And I don't know people understand that type of dedication You never really missed a training session. Yeah, like whether you'd have to get up at 3 a.m.  Talk about that Well, I don't really find it to me for me to sit here and say that it's like the same amount of energy Apply to it's not the same anymore because now it's just habits a force of habits It's not hard for me to be disciplined because it's just like it's like drinking or pissing or taking it's routine Yeah, so but I still try and apply discipline in areas that aren't routine for me I don't have it just so I'm constantly working on it But like I said, it was just habit for me man. Yeah from just years Initially, there's a few phases where you have to really work hard at it But then it just becomes this like big snowball that just carries on and then to carry that into cycling was just like It's so it's so easy. So you didn't really give yourself a choice You're getting up at 3 a.m. And you're gonna do your training no matter what? Yeah, I yeah because I don't know man. There's just no option Yeah, I mean I know that if I want to do if I want to do something Then I'm willing to do what I need to do to do it, you know And I know that nothing feels worse than wanting to do something and be it's being in such conflict with yourself That you can't measure up your actions to what you want to do Like you feel absolutely worthless.  You don't go train that only Further increases your disbelief in yourself You know that that gap between wanting to do something and not having to do it You just become like I'm I'm naughty. I can't even help myself So I made it my mission to make sure that they fully align all the time that if I want to train Then I'm training if I don't want to train I'm not going to go train But I'm not going to say I want to train and then not go train. That's crazy Because the pain for for not living up to your own standard is more than the pain of getting up at 3 a.m.  Yeah, and that's the hardest That's the worst pain you can feel the burden of that. Yeah So I want to talk about The india pacific bike race now there's a lot that went Before that you were a youtuber you're you're you know putting a lot of your stuff online You're amazing a video videographer editor very artistic. He brought something to youtube that no one else was doing in the same way But you decided to get involved with the india pacific bike race and make this film Let's talk about how that come about And I want to talk about the journey that that film took you on and how it changed you All right, so how the film came about was I was slowly kind of not doing as much youtube anymore because it wasn't feeling right personally You know I was having my own internal conflicts there So I was kind of popping down on the youtube a bit But I had a friend who was doing youtube who was doing the race and he was like, hey You know this is bike race across the country or whatever and I was like You know like I've kind of done stuff like that before I'm ahead not as long But I piqued my interest and I thought he was like we should film We were talking about how we could film a great documentary Yeah, and I thought yeah, I'd love to do that and then he was like how about we do it And I was like, all right cool. We'll do it. So I took my girlfriend we went and Just started filming that race which The duration was about two weeks And it was much like an endurance event for us because we were in the car sleeping in the car Just for two weeks straight filming this thing. So it was a great joy. But a lot of stuff happened in that event Yeah, um that set off my trajectory for a different path for the better really Yeah, something really full on happened on that event and do you want to talk about? um Mike hall and The relationship you built up with him in that time Because I think um, he was one of the leading races and you were spending time filming each of the races and probably more time filming the those in front And there was a bit of a battle going on with the person in the lead and my call And can you just explain what happened? So we were initially going to follow four riders You know two that were kind of mid-pack to mid-pack. I would say mid-pack riders And then I was like I want to follow the top two Yeah, at least so our method was because it's across the country race And these gaps open up to you know, six seven a thousand kilometers between these two groups I said we'll follow the first two until they finish Yeah, and then go back and follow the other two. So we were following the first two riders This guy called michael and christoph alligard. They're supposedly when I came into the scene Well, I still consider them that they would be the best athletes in that genre of cycling So we were following them and they were having this full on battle and they were very close at the time I didn't realize how Monumental it was but they had never ever ridden against each other. Okay, so for them It was a very serious thing that this is the first time so called to best win the same country You're in the same right and how long is this race? So everyone that doesn't know because a lot of my Following is not going to know what how five and a half thousand kilometers. Wow. What's that in miles? That's like It's probably three thousand three thousand miles. Yeah, so it's no support Everything unsupported. No support. No drafting. You have to do everything yourself. Yeah, there's no clock It's his first person to the other side on the given route wins So they were going hard at it and it was all coming to this culmination pointy bit at the end and then just randomly it was actually It kind of that christoph kind of established that he was going to win Like I was like, okay, he's going to win now. He kind of They came together they met in the mountains after him being ahead for such a long period of time And then he kind of like established the fact that he was in front and the other guy kind of dropped back a little bit And it seemed like that's how it's going to play out So I was in woollen gong doing a set of dumbbell press and then I remember the exact moment my friend called me and he's like Uh, my cold. It just got hit by a car. He died. Oh my god, and I was just like through these dumbbells I was like, what are you talking?  In the morning in the way to camber How long into the race was this? It's about 5,000 k in so cameras were probably like 450k from sydney. I think so it was very close to the end It was literally one day away from finishing. Wow one day away and the other guy was on his final day So he's coming into woollen gong, which is a couple hundred k from sydney, I think Christoph was on and they pull him over and they say look this other guy's died Oh my god, you know, so that's how it kind of unfolded which was it was a tragic event But it was of course. It was a tragic scenario to play out like that But it was just it was just crazy to be filming it and then this thing unfold And it was just crazy. I remember speaking to your mum at the time And she was very worried about you and um once we talked to you and you know We just wanted to get your perspective on how you felt and you know make sure everyone was okay But how did you really feel in that moment? I felt gutted man I just felt it's not like I was best mates with the dude But just following someone for just not you know just being in contact with someone and then suddenly they die Is traumatic, you know like So that that was very hard for me because I just felt so like what just just took place and It was just I was so tired emotionally too from being on the road for two weeks and having to deal with all of that But if anything it really inspired me to you know, finish the film and try and do justice to it It gave it a new perspective. Yeah, a new way like Do you feel like there was a little bit more pressure on you to really make something of this film in in Dedication to one of the riders who passed away. Yeah, it did feel like that But it did feel like that and it it seemed It seemed perfect to me because I thought like I'm the person to do this Do you know what I mean? I felt like I was the right person to be there filming it Have this whole scenario play out and then to carry the weight of that And to go out and deliver something that I believed in I thought did the whole thing justice. Yeah So it was perfect in my eyes and I've watched the film It was an amazing piece of work mate and something that you should be very proud of and I think you did do him You know justice and his life justice and now What people might not know is that was it the following year? The following year the following year You took upon yourself to actually Enter this insane race. Is it one of the hardest bike races on earth or is it up there? It's up there because I've done another one that I I would say was harder, but at the same time We'll talk about that. We'll talk about the one you've did following. Well, I've talked to a lot of people and it's just like What's hard? You know who defines what it's different for everyone. Yeah, it's subjective. It's so subjective But for you you hadn't done anything like that before The closest thing you'd done is probably the the melbourne to adelaide And you try to do that in two to three days or something like that. Which is which is hardcore. Yeah, but from going from that Stepping up to like cycling across the strait Australia's a large continent. You know, that's a very big step up It's not like you gradually built up to that but But what prepared you for that was filming it for sure. Yeah, so maybe that you sort of knew what to expect Yeah, well, I had a lot of reasons to do it Well, first of all the main reason to do is that that I just had a moment in the race where I thought to myself I've got to try this and then it's one of those fortunate situations where you have the thought and you're like man I can't escape now. Yeah, you know what I mean like you like do one more and then, you know I know what it feels like to want to do one more and not do it.   This was just another hobby for you. Yeah. Yeah, and that's I approached it like that too Yeah, because I was like no, I already lift weights. I don't need to be super disciplined with this It was more so just about exploring the limits and what I could do mentally I wanted to test out I wanted to see what I'm about mentally because I had thought of all these like Concepts and you know thought of myself as a little philosopher sitting in my mom's basement But I was like cool. Let me see if I'm actually legit and if these actually work Or otherwise, it's just torque. So that was really why I wanted to do it also So I just prepared for it But the thing was that four weeks before the race they I get to end up get an email from them saying that the race was Cancelled.  Yeah 100 so you followed the exact race Yeah, well the whole thing stands the same because official or not official. It's really the same thing It's just whether or not it's official in your own mind So, you know, it's still like 50 or 60 people rock up to the effort to that. There's still the route. There's still the GPS There's still, you know, the people watching There's just same rules apply really who knows if you feel like it's on it's on the personal thing How many other vegans were cycling at the time? Honestly, I forgot if there was any other vegans. Was there any? I don't know if there's any. You're the only one eating a plant-based diet throughout this race. Yeah, yeah, yeah Amazing. Yeah, I think so. I don't want to say that because I said that before and it turns out Well, they might well they might have I'm just not sure. You're not sure I'm not sure because if anyone's watching yes, Abdullah, you're training with a plant-based diet You've done weight training with a plant-based diet. You're not a small guy You've done these ultra endurance fleets on feets on a plant-based diet You eat a lot of noodles a lot of carbs talk about what you eat generally on that Generally on the race like that just generally and then generally I I'm pretty good, bro Yeah, I don't mind eating a bit of crap here and there.  Yeah, but I like I eat a lot of vegetables I eat a lot of vegetables.  I had those corn vegan fillets.   Hot ships fry ships solar that too Because a lot of it also like at the same time you could you could argue and say oh, it's it's more convenient to Not be plant-based, but at the same time A large part of the mindset comes You would would would the mindset wouldn't be the same if you weren't plant-based So you could argue saying that the amount the negative effects to your mindset would affect your overall performance more than getting a tiny bit More energy from the sausage roll and feeling bad about it. You know, you're saying that you had a little bit more of a What would you call it? So like you had a bit of a disability on that a race because you had to pick You know the plant-based options in these like small service. Yeah, honestly, it doesn't take honestly It's just like I said, it's a holistic approach. So you have to take care of your body. You have to take care of your mind And they both require You know, you have to pay focus to both of those things and so eating obviously pays attention to your body You can see the sustenance and to but eating also Especially in a vegan sense in an ethical sense It has effects on your mind too.  What can I eat here? That's not really you don't want to preach your ethics and then have that guilt why you're on a crazy race Like on a crazy race like that. You're tired. You're exhausted. You're like, I need food I'm gonna die here. Give me some food. Yeah, but then to on top of that to go I need something that's in line with my moral principles as well I've been on many rides with you and I remember just going through this the service stations going through these little like You know convenience stores like where's the vegan cereal? Where's the soya milk? Come on. Give me that jam. Where's the bread? Like just trying to find something looking at the back of packets like where's the vegan stuff like Well, the more you ride the more, you know kind of get around you kind of know what to go to I mean, I thought Australia. I didn't think Australia was hard to be vegan Yeah If anything I've traveled to other events now and then been like, well Like this is this is a lot harder But still you just make the best choice you can and a large part of it is just being in harmony Yeah, you know with yourself with your ethics with your body with all of that and so that's the main priority It's probably you I would I would honestly think I would do better Like if I just felt mentally sound then just having a tiny bit more energy Yeah, yeah, just a bit more energy, you know, some people have the most energy That they're like in crazy great shape having most energy, but they can't some people just can't bring them out of themselves And that's that's the mental component. So it's huge. Let's talk about the the end of Pacific Bike Race and your performance in it.  Like you just went for it.  How well at this Like so I had the introduction from the races before Yeah, and I thought to myself the year before and I thought to myself I don't I don't know what my limit is and I knew that if I tried to think I knew what my limit was was I would You know kind of sabotage myself by underpinning it to what it could be So I just kind of went in there Knowing that I could probably bring the best out. I can bring the best out of myself But I just went, okay This is what I think I can do and then I'm just going to add 30% on top of it Which was kind of roughly what the guys the year before did so I just copied them Which was a hard gap mentally to believe yourself in because it's like saying, okay, you're new to this sport I'm going to copy what the best in the world do And now you have to believe in yourself that you can do that. So I was like who gives like I'm going to do it anyway Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I was just like rich or just I just believed in that and just thought if I can just stick to that plan I'll be able to do it and that's what it was. How much were you sleeping on that race? I've probably sleeping. I've slept quite a bit now reflected maybe four hours, three hours You know, which is but you'd go maybe 20 hours 22 hours. Sometimes you'd have to go 27 hours Sleep three four hours depends on the weather and then you continue again. You continue again. You continue again You just repeat that cycle and where where are you sleeping? I would plan it to sleep in hotels like motels and stuff Just so I can get a proper rest have a shower, you know, kind of Renormalize yourself, you know, watch a bit of tv, you know talk on the phone charge stuff stuff like that I like it like that But inevitably you get to a point where the gaps between these motels are so far that you have to kind of start napping Yeah, because you just can't you can't stay after 10 days of being awake You know 20 22 hours at a time you can't do that anymore. Yeah, so you got to pull over on the side of the road Just have 20 minutes now wherever you can and just continue and keep going That's when it starts to get fun though when you start to feel like you know, like a wild animal Just pulling up sleeping. You're used to being in uncomfortable situations like and you so you do have that edge Like when you when you're cycling sometimes you don't wear cycling gear.  Anyway, so to put yourself sleeping on the floor for a little while You don't really you got that mental edge over someone who's never put themselves in that discomfort Well, honestly, that's probably the most comfortable the floor becomes very comfortable once you've been out there Honestly, man, once you've been out there for 10 days and stuff and you're like barely with your eyes open sleeping on the floor It's like a it's like a king mattress. You don't know.  It's so exhilarating. You feel so I think that's the biggest draw man You feel so alive and you feel so connected to something bigger than yourself and it becomes really like that and that's what's so That fun for it. So you're having like a spiritual Evolution out there like an experience. Well, you got to think about think about all the most, you know Times of revelation and personal, you know development that you've had a lot of times They come from just silence and time will move from your You know your normal environment This is like saying, okay, you might spend 200 hours a year by yourself or something This is like we're going to spend 350 hours in like two and a half weeks We're going to do it to 350 hours and we're going to do it in two and a half weeks Strap in you're not going to talk and you're suffering because a lot of spiritual growth comes out of suffering Yeah, how to how to how to deal with suffering and mental tricks to deal with suffering and being away from the paint Like focusing away from the physical and that's all what meditation is, isn't it? You really the only way for you to physically do a race like that Is is just to be 100 present. You know and you can get away with that for a long time Not get away with that but that can carry you through having lots of focus and being able to be present can carry you through a long time But eventually you reach The journey kind of asks for it. You reach these points where it's like, all right And you have these moments where you have to go through something think about something It's like a threshold when you cross mine. It's like, all right We're going to teach you a lesson now you learn it and then you move on And if you can't if you can't if you can't get over that then you can't continue Yeah, there's like these doors you unlock to continue and continue and you have to just be really really ready to just Die in a way and let go of everything that you think you know about yourself And then just keep can keep continuing So that's really that's really the funnest bit for me because I got a lot of personal gain out of it. Yeah It's not that I enjoy it. It's not that. Oh my god. Yeah.  You're just like, oh, this is cool But if your film is actually called journey to the other side and it's like that's like, you know Philosophically could mean the other side of Australia or the other side of yourself. Yeah, and even for Mike. It was yeah The other side he passed away. Didn't he so well that was really what I meant by the title You know the other side in old realms a country spiritually and just in life in general journey to the other side And the transformation that you go through Just doing it You know, I don't I just want to make sure we cover this But you actually finished first You finished first In a ridiculous with a ridiculous like lead. Yeah, your first time you you wrote this this race Which is crazy man. That is we were all like cheering you on I was like, oh my god, like I said, I remember sending you a message But if you I was actually on tour doing my first, uh, I remember getting a message Prophecy tour So I was going through my own struggles and doing my own endurance type thing for the animals and the activism But I had tears in my eyes man. Like go I really felt it man. I was like, dude, he's really he's really making like Like a history here in within himself. Like this is crazy, man It felt like that man, and especially the comments. I remember that day you messaged me. I was in mournable I just remember crying. Do you know what I mean? Like yeah, who cries when they get a message Do you know, but when you're in a state like that, you're so receptive emotionally That dudes will send you a message and it's like, whoa. Yeah, like I'm about to go tear this day up Yeah, you know, like I'm ready. Yeah, you know, which is so I think that's so cool to be so To feel emotions and for them to be genuine, you know, not to just have to kind of force or think like, yeah I should be grateful. It's like to feel great. It's weird to be out there after like 100 hours Be in the middle of nowhere and be grateful and just think this is amazing You start saying things like why me? It's like, when do you normally say that? What was your Feelings cross crossing that finish line and you had your family there at the end and how did you feel? I don't really honestly I don't really feel anything when I cross the finish line because it's just the finish line Like I was really physically I was relieved because I was just a mess I had not I had nothing left when I rock pulled up. So I was just like I was dead especially once you It gets worse once the race is over anyway, but I knew that The end was never I was never focusing on the end Do you know what I mean? Because I just knew that it's just false. It's if anything it signifies the end of the journey There's no more journey, especially that journey that takes place, which is the whole point So I knew all the moments in between those two weeks for what I was after So It was cool man, but it wasn't like oh my god. I've been thinking about this moment. I can see it now I'm like now I'm going to finally allow myself to enjoy it now that it's over I knew that it was I knew that it was always going to be over And my only point was to enjoy it while it was happening because inevitably the finish comes once you start So I think that's what helped me So and it helped me after too because it wasn't I didn't suffer the emotional curve that most people suffer when it's like big event P finish and then bump down to nothing and you're just like oh am I Yeah, and I guess focusing on the finish line when you're halfway through is not a good idea. Is it? Yeah, it's so far away. It's so far away And you can you know Anyone can really go through the thought process of that and you just start peeling it back like okay I'm 500k so I've got four and a half thousand k though start doing the math You think that's gonna have the 200 hours like what am I going to do? Oh my god? And that's very you don't number one You're not even you're not really taking in what's happening to you currently do you know what I mean? And you're just trapped in this future that doesn't even it's not even a thing And it's very energy taxing and that becomes a problem when you start losing that much energy to thought If you just can't ride any more man. Yep.  She was she was happy though But she was I think she was she was stressing like oh my god dudes are dying Which was cool because like as a as a kid you don't think you know You don't think it's a big deal But I can only imagine as a parent having someone die in a race and then your son being like yeah I'm gone for it and she knows what you like. She knows how you push yourself Yeah, you don't take no for an answer. Yeah, you don't give up.  Yeah, so your mum knows that about you. Well, I won't tell anyone that Yeah, you know, I think if I told people what I'm willing to do in that like it would scare them So yeah, she knows. Yeah, she knows what you're like. So she's kind of like she he's gonna do it Anyway, no matter what I say, let me try and Let me try and damage control what could possibly happen. Like try and be like, I do this Be safe. Do this, you know, like make sure you sleep and do this and Well, you surprised everyone you surprised everyone in the cycling community surprised everyone in the Well, I wouldn't say it was that much of it. We know what you you can do but it was just It's just an amazing feat and you won by so far that we're just wow But maybe people might have thought this was just a one-off thing But then you decided to do something even bigger Not was it the following year? Yeah, so the following year Following year I went to America to do what they call the Transamerica bike race, which is It's about it's 6,800 k's roughly I just say roughly because it makes me feel better because I know it's more when you're doing it But it's it's about 4,200 miles and and Almost tripled the elevation. So it's about 60,000 meters. What's elevation?  So climbing on a bike and that makes it twice as hard Yeah, yeah, so it's totally it was like 20 or 5 or 27 America's like 60 60 to 70 Thousand up. It's like seven eight tons up there. Never so much. So climbing up a hill It makes one kilometer feel like a hundred kilometers. Yeah. Well, just for the sheer gravity It makes just speed a lot slower and I'm quite a lot bigger than someone who would be considered to be good at that But it was just more of a challenge for me, which I was excited to I was excited to get into it Yeah Yeah, so talk about the lead up to that the lead up to that is a year before I thought to myself, okay I kind of want that one. I did 12 weeks and I knew that 12 weeks is you can't consider 12 weeks training You know, so I was like cool. I've done 12 weeks. Let me see now if I can apply myself For a year So the hard approach for me wasn't just smashing the hammer on the nail It was like let me see if I can be consistent moderate Build up to this thing slowly over a year, which was nice because I allowed myself so much time I could relax more. I could you know, think about it more. So I prepared myself physically I prepared myself mentally for just with all the techniques I had learned from the last race and the experience of that And then rocked up to that start line and brought it all with me. Yeah, which was cool Yeah, and how many people Uh, we're in this race. How many people entered this race? I think a hundred a hundred a hundred and a lot of pro cyclists or a lot of Ex-pro cyclists really fit dudes ultra endurance athletes Yeah, dude, who you think are really good and have done a lot of experience And did you did you find yourself feeling like a little bit out of place there or do I belong here or yeah Well, I did before it comes to like, you know Like I said in the race you come to these points like you do one week to get to this one point And then you have the breakthrough. You know what I mean much like life in general So before the training I had all my little breakthroughs, you know You do six months get to one month you learn you have a breakthrough you get one lesson You go through another three months one month you get the lesson you keep going so The build up to the actual event like the last couple weeks It was the same thing and it was more like self-doubt was coming to a peak And I just remember coming out the shower the night before just like I remember dude Was andrewese jr. That boxer just beat and and antony joshua a big upset the night before and I was inspired off it Because I had a side of feelings Self-doubt because I'm looking around and looking at these guys. I'm thinking this guy's an ex pro cyclist He's his road and you know the jury at tally of this guy And but then I saw him win and I was like a synchronicity It's like an underdog.  Yeah, you know what I mean That's me, but it was cool because in that moment. I remember the night before All I really wanted man. Like I started gene myself up You know, I started going through my own my own You know frameworks of thought that would reestablish to me that I was the best ultra endurance cyclist on the planet So I'm going through all those thoughts in my head like, you know kind of not brainwashing Which is explaining to myself why you are the best. Yeah And I was doing that and then in combination with him winning inspiring me I just remember going to bed like praying for the opportunity For me to take responsibility of this vision. I had in myself So I was just saying like put me in the situation And I'll show you what I'm going to do. Yeah, so that's what I was waiting for and I got lots of those situations But but just being conscious of that you're in those situations. You're like, this is this is the this is the moment Yeah, I'm about to take responsibility for myself here and go next level and that was really cool Yeah, so I just do this. I just had to say, you know, but because it gets to a point where you actually Care too much and that's not really a good way to ride So you have to really ride like you're ready for it to be over any second Because that's really the truth of the situation. It can end any moment And if you're and if you get scared because you're going to lose Then you become hesitant and then once you become hesitant it becomes a downward spiral The only thing you really have to lose is not giving you best effort Yeah, so I had to come to terms with that. I was like, I'm ready to lose Now once I was ready to lose I was ready to put it all on the line. Then you know what I was put on the line I have nothing to lose. Yeah, so then once I was ready to put all on the line Then I'm just riding as if it's about to end any second. I'm not riding like, okay I've got 10 more days. I'm just riding like, okay, if I make it to the next pedal stroke Cool, I'll do that pedal stroke now and that that produces a really harsh pace beyond logic So you'll be with guys who are super fit and they'll be looking at you and then logically trying to process Your approach, but it's like you've gone beyond logic here, you know, and you're just like riding on the limit as if You know, it's going to end in two minutes, which is so which is so cool And you're hammering that set you're hammering that mindset into your mind like it's going to be over It's like I'm putting on the line and putting on the line and putting on the line and putting the line all the time And you just fly away, man I mean that's easy to say at the start But how do you hold that for like how long how long is this like how long is this race supposed to be? Yeah, like how long do people give themselves? It depends, man So I think competitively it goes from the record time up to like 20 21 days Yes, you know Even when you start when you start going up to those Days that time you're still doing 350 360 all the way up to 420 125 kilometers a day at the really top the top end So that for anyone who's 400 kilometers a day is about 16 hours on the bike Yeah With 16 hours on the bike if you're having a good day But when you combine that you're going up five six seven thousand almost Outman Everest hills, you know, and you're doing that day in day out. It becomes different So that's probably a really anyone, you know, 21 20 honestly if you just cross that country now knowing how difficult that is It's all impressive to me But that's what it's like holding the pace is a different You know, yeah, you've got to bring everything to be able to hold the pace Then it's not just holding that pace for that one day because like a lot of these Rides are like the biggest rides anyone would do just in their entire career just on one day But then you have to do that again the next day and a lot of people can't even sit at the office desk for 16 hours But you're sitting on a bike going up a hill in all different types of weather and nighttime And you know battling yourself and trying to eat enough and drink enough and all of this So like and to do that consistently. I don't know if anyone hasn't done anything similar It's pretty hard to wrap your head around what that takes Honestly, it's for me, you know, there's lots of levels to it There's you know the previous experience which you bring to that experience And that's much like saying that you've been training for This podcast your whole life, you know, you really bring all the experiences that you've had before Into your current experience and probably that's probably the right way to do it Just to learn from everything and bring it with you. So I had done that previously And doing that you learn things just about the nature of writing And like I said with the nature of writing as soon as you start As soon as you begin it ultimately it signifies the finish So you know that it's going to be over once you start and that really liberates any kind of Like you know anxiety or thoughts about it because it's like saying as soon as you're born You know, you're going to die. Yeah as soon as you start the ride, you know, it's going to finish as long as you continue So I knew I was going to continue. I ultimately knew was going to end So you embrace the moment like that Um and a large part of it is just starting So I learned to my first race that if you just put the shoes on and get out the door It works itself out Yeah, and that's a quick way to realize that it always ends You just have to give yourself yourself the opportunity to realize it So for me, it's just if you can just do one thing follow it through the whole way You give yourself that opportunity to realize that once you start it ends cool And then once you do that enough you go, okay, I'm sick of enjoying it only once it finishes Let me try and enjoy and make use of it while it's happening. So that's what you do Yeah, and then you couple that with the awareness of Human beings and their innate ability just to endure That's the only reason why we're all sitting here survivors is we're survivors That's what we do and we're the best at it We're you know, we're a bit good at it very good at it and you have that within yourself Couple that with the fact that you know Even crazy stuff like you can you know that You know millions of sperm make the journey one makes it. Yeah, and old sperm's not the same It's like, you know, it's not saying that you have a different sperm made it. It would be you would be different So you're the sperm that made it combined with all the skills And then you put that piece together and it becomes easy to keep going You have more reasons to keep going than you have not to keep going So it's just about coming to all those coming putting all those things together And then putting them through even like emotional detachment and just working on yourself like, you know The more times you just want to quit and keep going You realize I can want to quit and keep going. Yeah, that's pretty cool So you wanted to quit and then you got past that so the next time you want to quit I've already yeah, I can get what I want to yell. I don't yell. Yeah, you know You're like, whoa, so I can feel something and do something completely different. That's pretty cool Control you learn control and training in a really simplistic sense We'll give you that because you because your body doesn't want anything more than it wants to survive So you get your heart rate up to 180. It's like, yo, stop this So just doing that And you can be from the most rich family with nothing and have no reasons out there for you to learn this type of stuff But if you just go for a jog and get your heart rate up, you learn how to be in control of yourself That's what's so great about training, especially if you're not brought up in hard circumstance where life will teach you that anyway Yeah And then that's really the main thing and then just and then Just focusing on doing your best job with what you got And then you practice that brushing your teeth trying your back all that kind of stuff Let's talk about the actual race the trans am race Did you Hit the lead straight away again. Yeah, did you take the same take same approach? I'll give you an example About 1,000 kilometers into the first one. Yeah I saw this guy called Stefan. Yeah, that was the last time I saw him for the whole bike I remember I was going out to the longest strength in the world. Yeah, I turned around and saw him I never saw him again. Yeah, so I had 4,000 k's left not sending away anyone from the race This time the last time I saw the nearest guy Was in a gas station 6,000 with 6,500 k's left last guy I'd see from the race So you hit the lead after 500 k's or no after 350 k's It didn't mean it would have gone back and forth But I kind of knew it I don't want to sound like a mean guy But I already I knew in my heart like it was gonna unfold perfectly and when I saw the way everyone else was approaching it I thought This is not what it's about.  Maybe or something like that Yeah, well, they think okay. I can't hold this pace therefore that guy can't hold the pace Let me chill for a bit and he's gonna burn himself out. He's gonna burn himself out You know, he's gonna it's too quick and but all on honestly that one second of lapse in in terms of just You know your thoughts or not That just that one thought giving yourself that one thought and you're believing it for one second It's like in one night it becomes 70 k's in two nights. It's 250 k's by the end. It's a thousand k's Yeah, just from people believing that You know having that belief about you and then allowing themselves to believe it affecting their possibilities And then the gaps gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and then eventually they submit to it and say I can't close that man. That's crazy. So you held the lead for how many days? The whole time 16 days from the league and you finished first with a massive gap and What happened? What what time did you get? What was your time? I did about 16 days and I think it was like nine hours and Just caught 16 days 10 hours flat. Okay. And what was the time before? What was the record the record on a two-wheeled bike is 16 days? I think 23 hours and Almost 16 days 24 hours. So you you broke the record Yeah, you broke the so you have the world record on that. Yeah, I get that right world record Yeah, it's the record on that race. It's a record and how long has that race been running for? Quite a while man six something plus years. Wow. Yeah. Wow. That's a lot of people amazing feet That's an amazing feat. It was cool.  Yeah, and that's yeah, I had a lot of respect for that dude Honestly, my plan was to come in a day quicker. Yeah, but you know Things happen. Yeah, but that's honestly, that's the quickest you can do it Anyway, what you do it is what you do it in but I just remember getting there feeling like oh my god Man, imagine what that guy had to go through to do that time like respect so much respect man Even if all the stars align, which it's so hard just to do that man That's a go day in day out day in day out day in with all the adversity that comes up. No doubt. It's just like It's so hard.   Yeah. Well, honestly, I was fortunate to be Because I think that's that ability to endure is innate in everyone, but at the same time you can't diss, you know Sometimes, you know, like why do you do what you do man? A lot of times it's just environment Yeah, why does someone become a good afl player? Well, someone said let's go play afl Some people don't get that opportunity You know, and they never realize that they have that in them So I was always put in situations where I had to endure at least physically and mentally, you know You know, whether it be a work on the bike not sleeping So all these circumstances in my life presented themselves as opportunity for me to learn that skill, which was cool. So You know, I don't ever disregard that like it's lucky and it's however you want to say it lucky or divine whatever it is it's cool how I've always has been doing that and been given the opportunity to learn that but I think it's not just I think it's everyone I don't think I'm special beyond anyone I think the only thing that's special about what I've done is the fact that I've recognized it and then like you said nurtured it And just continued to develop that and become aware of it So how many other plant-based athletes were doing that race? Do you know? Well, the girl who actually Won out of the girls was was vegan. Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. Well, that's why I said two vegans Yeah, I don't want to say I didn't want to say like I don't know I that's why I said I don't know who was vegan in the first one because at the end She messaged me saying I'm vegan because I remember saying to someone like no I don't think there was and she was like no, she messaged me after saying no So the male winner and the female winner were both vegans. Wow, that's great. That's amazing. Yeah That's amazing. That needs a bigger platform to speak about because a lot of you know, the things I get from people Like, you know, you've been eating a pram based diet for a few years now. Come on. It's been a half a decade Well, I was in it and then I came out of it and then I came back into it. Yeah Yeah, but predominantly you've been eating a vegan diet.  It just proves that you know What do you think people what is this misconception about having to have meat to recover and you know Eggs to recover and you have to have cheese and dairy to recover like Just conditioning. Yeah It's you know, it's it's conditioning and it's hard to let go of these beliefs that have just been so firmly ingrained into one From such a young age, you know, it takes it takes it I honestly got respect for anyone who's willing to go in there and then just be like I'm willing to give that up for the for the greater part of myself You know and the greater part and the greater connection to humanity So I think that's why it's hard to separate step away from but personally from speaking from my own experience From going on it and then coming off and then going back on it Is like I think you know the way I can only speak for myself But the way I did come off it is probably just lack of lack of education for myself In my in terms of my own understanding about it and being wrapped up in coming from a really physical standpoint about Oh, this is just a diet.  That's what I was I was like, yeah And that's why it was so easy for me to give up because I was looking at it from a physical standpoint And I knew just from training that I could do all sorts of stuff to my physique And and be healthy. Yeah, because I thought healthy was just a purely physical thing And I approached it from a diet. So it's very easy for me to just swap out and I think that's Why it's easy for people not to take to it You know because they see it as such a diet Honestly, if it wasn't for you Being you know another Cool thing about the environment is that I had you there to kind of Remind me in a kindful compassionate non-judgmental way Say that that's not what it's about man. And then I had already been Just with my own work like I knew that morals and ethics and your mind That's all life was to me and I really wanted to sharpen that and be I didn't want anything more than just to be a good human So appealing to that nature of it.  You have no option Yeah, I think once I explained it to you like veganism not being a plant-based diet That's good for for performance and I started saying it's about justice man. It's about it's unfair to Subjugate and kill animals when you can easily reach for something else and then you started understanding it from the philosophical point of view Which is what veganism is.  And then, you know, you're more motivated by that Ethical belief and now you've got your conscience to Sort of motivate you to make the right choices when you're on these big rides and yeah, that was epic and also I'm Coming out with me and filming For my light up the world tour. Yeah. Yeah, so like you're behind the camera for everything I did on that tour And that was one of the most challenging tours. I've ever you know been on really a newer behind the camera and You're an ultra endurance athlete and How how we we were both really we got sick in the first week remember we both got a flu How was that for you talk about your experiences? Well, it was good It was you know, it was great training Just like just being out there training in terms of a lot of things training isn't trying to keep up my physical training Yeah, lifting trying to ride at the same time being up for 24 hours going It was training in terms just emotionally just even the best of us if you put someone That close to someone for two weeks in such an emotionally charged training situation You're gonna have to learn how to control yourself Yeah, because you can't just you can't let yourself pop the hook like that Especially when there's someone on the other end of those emotions. So it was good for that And then in terms of just my my understanding of veganism to be so close to it was also enlightening.  Yeah, which doesn't really leave you Yeah, because you were bearing witness a lot and that that was the first time you'd been to a slaughterhouse to see animals go in and Uh, remember the pigs in italy? Uh, that that experience as well and like you were like, god, like they're in their own Shit and they're suffering and you're connecting with the animals and talk about bearing witness what that did to you Well, you haven't you know, when I think once when you're in that kind of bear witnessing situation it's like There's a part of you that's connected to that. Yeah, um, and You know, so there's a communication there. I don't know what it is You know like but there is a communication there between animal and human. Yeah Um, and that once once it communicates that in that at that level that bit inside of you once it's it wakes up And you can't switch that off. Yeah, you know, so I think that's why it's so powerful. Yeah, it becomes very real Yeah, and that's when it's like it becomes very it becomes very serious reality You know and it and you can feel it and it's once you start feeling like that it's like Whoa, yeah, you know the kind of stuff that makes like the air and the room feel like it's got sucked out of you Yeah, you know and Stuff like that can bring you to tears and trigger you emotionally and you don't really understand why at the time But it does. Yeah So it's so powerful remember being out there. We went to the slaughterhouse in vienna and you were there too And you were in the holding pens And we spent time with the pigs before they went in to be slaughtered and we went into the slaughterhouse to be on the kill floor And what what was your experience like in that holding pen? It was disturbing Yeah, you know, I mean it was disturbing You know, I'm sure if I went back now it would be more I think I can I can only assume that the more you do that like the connection just gets stronger and stronger and harder and harder But initially because I'd never been bad witnessed that much before that. It was very disturbing. Anyway, yeah You know, and it's just hard It's hard to hold on to old beliefs when you're in that situation because the reality in front of you is so different to Yeah, you know like so you're standing there and stuff thinking oh my god These animals getting killed. I see animals. This is crazy. Yeah. Yeah my bad guy Yeah I'm like and all those conceptions and beliefs just getting completely shattered and it's undeniable It's undeniable that when you see that you know that the animal doesn't want to die Yeah, it's you have to be honestly, man. It's like to think anything otherwise is delusional Yeah, it's delusional. Yeah for anyone who hasn't seen that video.  So so they're going into this They'd be hung up stabbed drained of their blood dumped in a in a big Hot boiling water to loosen their hand and they're like Flamethrowed to burn the rest off or something and you could see that flame coming through the oven.  No to getting dragged Wheeling the guy looks like he's lost all kind of Emotional any form of emotion he had within him has just now been suppressed by something else. Yep, and it's just like It's a horror movie. What it's a horror movie. Yeah. Yeah. Like I was like this was towards the end of the tour This was actually on my birthday. I remember getting up at 4 a.m And uh going to the slaughterhouse like this was on my birthday It was just a very emotional sad experience and uh to sit there with them for two hours before meeting them Watching them interact and then going in there to watch that like you basically experience something that not many vegans have experienced, you know and You know, a lot of people don't get to see it that close up and this slaughterhouse owner was priding himself on You know the high welfare standard of his pig slaughterhouse So this what we actually saw there was some of the highest standards in the world Like, you know quick stunning and it was just it was still a horror story. What are you just killings? How can not killing something not be a horror story? Yeah. Yeah.  Yeah, so it's probably the perfect fit Yeah, and I was under a lot of stress and you know, it wasn't like all all smooth In reflection, honestly, it was pretty smooth. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know what I'm saying There's a few hiccups there. We lost the bank card But honestly, like you think of those hiccups and the way they were handled like the period between the incident happening and getting resolved is like It's not people man. Haven't you know what I mean get cut off at a red light They hold that all day Yeah Different countries lose your bank card stress haven't slept in two weeks and let go of it in 10 minutes It's like it's pretty good. No, it was great. It was good to have you there, man It was good support now. What people don't know is that I think it was the day after the slaughterhouse thing. I had a debate with a guy on lbc radio And he was sort of making a mockery of the pigs going. Oh, there are any pigs and people actually Criticized my conduct in that debate after that Crazy to remember you see. Yeah, you sat sat there and filmed that and they were going Oh, you're too aggressive. You know, you don't veganism disservice because I vehemently defended the animals and You know it had been a hard three weeks and we just bought witness at the slaughterhouse Like what do you think about like so so if let's just say you you weren't involved with all these bearing witness and seeing what's going on to the animals And then you saw my demeanor at demeanor. You might have thought oh, wow, he's a bit Adam, you know, you might have thought always a bit full on there But because you'd been on the tour with me and then saw my demeanor in the Interview, what did you think of it? You think oh, that was justified compared to what? Of course, it's just it's not it doesn't even get close to what it's of course, it's justified Yeah, you know for someone who's it's just so It's so irrational to think that That that that you have if you haven't born like that if you haven't born witness to it You don't really know what it's about and you're eating dead animals that you're going to completely understand What the guy's saying you know saying and think that oh, it's complete So I think it was completely justified man. It sounds harsh. I don't even know how it sounds harsh You know because that just becomes reality. Do you know what I mean? Like when you're out there, that's just reality That's how it is and to not say how it is. This would be a disjustice to you to The people suffering the animal suffering and yourself. Yeah, so It's what needs to be said man And all you have to do is just go back in history and just replace the scenario with whatever you want With human beings injustice and justice and someone standing up for injustice Even reflect on your own personal life and put yourself in the situation What are you going to do? Exactly, of course you would do the same thing that makes very It's very simple for me.  Oh, wow And he did it was he he ended up setting the quickest time that year too. Epic. So it's it's becoming very Uh popular It's almost like a vegan's got a little bit extra to prove because yeah Well, it becomes it's becoming very popular. You get I get a lot of questions people ask him about diet Yeah, and this and Honestly, like the diet the diet obviously is a little part of riding like no, you know what I'm saying But what what it does show is that it you can be a vegan and do these things You can eat a plant based diet and do these things So why do we have to put animals in slaughterhouses so you can you know And the mental advantage of just being in full alignment with the best self Is the biggest advantage man. Do you know what I'm saying?  Yeah, don't even worry about that What's going to make you more of a lion as a human being? Yeah, better within yourself better within yourself And then you will be able to extract that performance out of yourself You know and that's really the ticket there with the veganism and just performance in all assets of life Assets of life really so being alive being fully aligned, you know, and that's the most comfortable state to be in It's the most energy effective state to be in because you're not there having these conversations with yourself Like should I do something different? Am I being a good guy?  What's next for you quickly before we finish up? So Um, at the end of the year, I'm going to 24 hour world championships in America. What's that? It's a the most just it's on the course. It's the most distance in 24 hours. Okay, so I'm trying to organize that now You know, you know, which is different for me because usually I just hop on a bike and just say who cares Let's go for it. Let's go for it But now I'm trying to give it a spawn things for it, which is a bit more organized a bit more organized, which is Which is different for me Um, and then after that I'll probably go to Europe next year and do across Europe And then I'll probably call it a day Wow. Yeah. Yeah after Europe, I've got a bit of a tire. Yeah, because there's other things I want to focus on, you know I mean, so I'll just once I do Europe. I'll just hang the bike up and I hang the bike up I'll probably go for 20 minute ride Excellent, mate. Thanks so much for coming on brother. I appreciate it, man. No worries, bro Okay That was sick that was a good podcast


Hi friends, my name is Fructose Corn syrup today and welcome back to another episode of Frederick's Asian Kitchen. Last episode I made a vegan chocolate cake with my sister and I can't find the recipe still, so I'm just gonna give you another one in the description. I found the updated recipe, okay? So I'm sorry if you wanted that exact birthday cake.  Obviously this is a prerecorded video. My birthday was last week. It doesn't mean I don't deserve a birthday wish so I'll still take them. I'll take as many as you want, don't worry. I didn't wanna show this in that video because, you know, cooking is long and it's tiring and I'm filming two videos in a day so give me a break. So if you don't know by now, cheesecake is my all-time favorite cake in the world. It is the top of all cakes. I don't even know if you can consider it a cake because there's no flour in it. Oreo cheesecake is a better version. I will admit, but I don't have Oreos today and I'm also vegan now. So I can't really do the dairy anymore. Dairy and I are on a break. We've been having an issue for the past 10 years. Same with meat. Meat and my stomach don't get along. But I saw this recipe on minimalist baker and this is a very popular website for anyone who is vegan and gluten-free. And let me just double check. Y'all vegans, everyone who's made this recipe is so emphatic about it that it has 4.77 stars out of five and that's 168 votes. If you're lying, I'm coming for you. I hold cheesecake to a very high standard so I'm hoping that this tastes sort of like it and if not, all right, that's fine. Just ruin my entire birthday week. Link will be in the description and something is different today because I actually have bowls. You know what this is if you watched a cooking show. These are glass bowls that come in various sizes. See right here.  Point is mise en place means you try to organize your station and keep everything in place. Usually I'm not the most organized on this channel so I'm trying to change things up. I'm trying to make things better for my sake and yours. Of course, I'm gonna show you the ingredients because I need content. So let's look at the ingredient list. We're first gonna make the crust. You will need three-fourths cup of gluten-free rolled oats, three-fourths cup raw almond, three-fourths cup raw almond. Fuck. Three-fourths cup raw almond. Three-fourths cup of raw almond. Almond. One half tablespoon sea salt, two tablespoons coconut sugar or regular sugar and four tablespoons coconut oil melted. Sorry, I had to set this one up. So here's all my ingredients. They said rolled oats and you know what? Let me tell you. My amazing store Wegmans to get the groceries. I don't know if all the vegans decided to make this recipe but there were no rolled oats in that entire store. There was only old fashioned so I'm gonna have to work with this today. And I looked at the definition of rolled, it just means flat. I don't think it matters that much. So here's a half cup and then a one-fourth cup. And also if this wanted to try me by doing it in grams, I have a gram measure now. That's right, we invested. Look at her though, isn't she pretty? We don't have to use it for this recipe but just so you know, I was ready. All right, three-fourth cup of raw almonds. This is a side note. I don't know if anyone knows about this but sunflower butter exists. And I know I have a bias with sunflowers. Don't remind me but I will say this is better than peanut butter and it tastes great with almonds.  Like one whole bowl for this. But look at this bowl, it's so cute. They asked for coconut sugar. I'm not gonna buy it because I don't really taste the difference. And I don't think it's gonna be the end. I'll be all of this recipe so we have regular sugar today. Two tablespoons and then melt coconut oil. I'm at my last with this coconut oil. I don't think this is enough but it'll have to do. I think that's only two tablespoons so if I have to, I'll add some butter to it. It's all oil. At the end of the day, it just won't taste like coconut that much. Yeah, you see how that's already melted? That's how hot this room is. Like this video if your mom also refuses to turn on the air conditioning even though it's 90 degrees today. Incoming comments. Well, I live in Texas and we have it, man. I don't care, Timmy, if it's hot in Texas right now too. My point is I'm sweating. That's right. You saw that. This was in my apron, only professional. Okay, so I'm gonna get my blender now and we're adding the oats.  You know, why didn't they make these bowls angled? Like you couldn't give it a point at the end almonds.  Salt and sugar. Like, I know it felt good organizing the ingredients but I also could have just put in the blender and you wanna blend this until it's a fine meal. Damn, get you a Nutribullet, man. You see that? It's like sand already. Once that's done, you're gonna add the melted coconut oil and add at least four tablespoons. You can add more if it's still too dry but you wanna make a dough. I'm going to melt this. I'm going to get butter too. Add that much. It's about a storm, guys, on my birthday. That should be four tablespoons, I think. Do it in 15 second intervals until it's all melted. Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Ooh, wash these dishes. I was getting the baking dish ready. There is a entire pool of water stuck in between these two. Gross. Ooh, ooh. It is grrrr. Oh, that's so, no. Oh my God. Sorry, the idea of bacteria growing underneath my own baking dish. So this is slightly melted after 30 seconds.  Maybe I should have used the food processor. Get it together. Moment of truth. Is this a dough? Yeah.  It's okay. We're different people. I'm using around a baking dish. And I also have parchment paper now. I'm gonna be very excited to finally save these dishes and not use Pam all the time. Nothing against Pam. Okay, we love you. So, ooh, ooh, okay. Let's try this again. Hold on, how did Claire do this? She did this, and then she got a pen. Are you kidding me? Motherfucker. Get a pen, outline, and then you cut it out. Then put the outline side face down. Perfect. Look at that. Now that that's done, I'm going to transfer this to the parchment lined pan, spread evenly. That looks like a pretty good dough crust. I don't know if you remember last time I made a crust. No. Oh my God, I just wanted something to go right for once. Don't worry guys, I learned from all your Southern moms how to do it right now. I can't tell you how many DMs I got saying my mom is from the South and she would never do it like that. And don't be afraid to make the sides a little bit thick because you want to make sure that it's able to hold itself together. Do we have enough? Hold on. We're getting there, don't worry. Remember, this is a cheesecake. It's not supposed to be a thick crust. This will work.  Can we normalize wearing gloves while cooking because, okay, I'm almost there. It's like building a sand castle guys. I told you this is exactly like sand. Literally wet sand is how I can describe it. I'm feeling with my hand. It's not really flat. There's a lot of bumps. So I'm just gonna do this for a little bit. Or hold on. All right, Mr. SAT 1550, yeah. You see that? Fuck, cut the cameras. Cut the cameras. That was like 90% perfect. So I'll take that. And it's smooth now. No way you're done already. All right, time to put it in the oven. Fast. You're gonna bake this for 15 minutes. Once that's done, you're gonna increase the heat to 375. Bake that for five to 10 minutes more or until the edges are golden brown and there's some browning on the surface. Until then, we're gonna work on the filling. Oh, do you hear that? You heard that. This bottom is soggy. For the filling, you will need one cup raw cashews, one cup coconut cream, eight ounces vegan cream cheese, one tablespoon arrowroot or corn starch, one teaspoon pure vanilla extract, two thirds cup maple syrup, one tablespoon melted coconut oil, two teaspoons lemon zest, one to two tablespoons lemon juice, one eighth teaspoon sea salt. I'm just gonna put this on the blender. I don't think there's a reason to mise en place just because it looks like all my work of being organized is going to waste. So yeah, I'm annoyed. I didn't tell you this before, but it's your responsibility to read the instructions before watching this video. You need to soak a cup of cashews for at least one hour in hot water. To anyone who isn't vegan, cashews are the milk of cheese. You have to use cashews for cheese. It's like a staple in the vegan world. And it works pretty well. So I'm gonna drain all this hot water now. Put the cashews in. Next, you're gonna add a cup of coconut cream. This is cream of coconut. I hope it's the same thing. And it has a soda can lid. Thank God. Are you? Today's not my day. On my birthday. You're gonna betray me like that. This does not look like... That's not white. Is this supposed to be white? What are you? How are you not white? No, nothing at the bottom. What do you taste like? What? Ooh. Oh, the sugar level. How much sugar is in here? 34% sugar. Got it. Understood. I guess I'll freeze the rest of this. I don't know what to do with it.  Actually, I could drizzle that. I could drizzle that over ice cream. You're also gonna add vegan cream cheese. I don't know about you, but when I was vegan two years ago, we didn't have vegan cream cheese. We had vegan butter as the new best thing. Now there's like 50 brands at Wegmans. My friend tells me Kite Hill's the best. I've never had it before. I've heard a lot about Kite Hill though. They are known for having a vegan cheesecake that's ready to eat. Only a whole foods, fucky whole foods for not letting me have it. Oh my God, it's so good. Except, I don't know if you can see. This is the everything cream cheese. Meaning, give me a second. Almond milk, dehydrated onion, poppy seed. Dehydrated garlic, sesame seeds, mushroom extract. A savory cream cheese is what I'm saying. On my birthday. Could it be that bad though, like savory and sweet? You know, where there's no backing out. I did what I had to do. I made a mistake, but I'm going to push through it and I apologize if this comes out shitty. Please, please don't taste like onion. Y'all, this is, crimino. That is not allowed. Oh, I have to put the whole thing in. You have to put eight ounces in. This is eight ounces, perfect. Oh no, oh, that's so much, guys. You're, you know, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I even looked at it and I was like, why does this say everything?  I know, I'll loan up to it. That is so good. Oh my God, I'm going to be so sad if it tastes bad. Also, that is not cheap. That's not your Philadelphia $3 cream cheese. That's your $6 cream cheese. I hope you're worth it. You better, hmm. Get away. I don't know what air root is. I just know it's a good thickener compared to corn starch. So just one tablespoon. It looks and feels just like corn starch. I think you'll be fine. But this is also another vegan staple. Two thirds cup maple syrup. You gotta be kidding. This happens to me only. Oh, God damn. That's a lot. If that doesn't cover up the onion and the garlic flavor, I don't know what will. Next, you're going to zest two teaspoons worth of lemon zest. And yeah, I got this because Claire from the Bon Appetit Test Kitchen told me to. Just zest the whole lemon. I think that's enough. Who cares if it's a little more zesty? That's just zhiging it. Look at that beautifully zested lemon. It's perfect. The crust smells like graham crackers. Let me tell you. But one tablespoon of melted coconut oil again. And one to two tablespoons of lemon juice. That means. As far as I know, this is the only lemon juicer that I approve of because you can see how many cups you have and how many ounces you have. Hey, Google, how many ounces are in one tablespoon? One tablespoon is equivalent to 0.5 fluid ounces. To convert from tablespoons to fluid ounces, divide unit of volume by two. Thank you, Google. So basically I need one ounce of lemon juice. That's a little bit more than one ounce. So I'm just going to pour almost all of it. This is just so efficient at making juice. Look at this. You made milkhouse, vegans, milk lemons. I got it. I'm good. Doesn't this look disgusting? Like, if you ever made vegan stuff, this doesn't faze you. Some people, that's disgusting to them. And one teaspoon pure vanilla extract. Add a teaspoon. Okay, that's all the ingredients. Now we blend. I forgot to add sea salt. Actually, I don't need sea salt. Cream cheese has it. It smells like milk ice cream is all I'm gonna say. Oh my, hold on. That's not okay. All right, I don't know if it's the coconut cream that's doing it for me. This tastes exactly like cheesecake. I don't know if coconut cream is supposed to have that much sugar in it, but it's very sweet. So I actually need to put a little more lemon juice in it and probably some salt just to balance it out. But wow. Just chef's kiss there. Oh my God, minimalist baker. You have done it again. I'm gonna put a little more lemon juice. I'm literally not shitting you guys. I love cheesecake. This tastes like cheesecake. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my, I will not, I don't. I don't have words. The vegan mac and cheese is nothing compared to this. In perfect time, my oven's almost done. All right, I can see the poppy seeds.   Yeah, but maybe less. I just... It's getting golden brown. Perfect timing, guys. Everything is now going my way, as it should. Cause it's my goddamn birthday. Listen to my timer, hold on. Isn't that so cute? Lower your baking temperature to 325. See the golden brownness, right on the outside? Okay. Pour the filling over the pre-baked crust and spread into an even layer. Oh, sis. Oh, honey. We're also gonna tap just a little bit to get rid of the air bubbles. Ideally, you want a pan that has a pop lid. I don't have that yet, so I'll figure out how to get this out of the thing later. Back in the oven, 50 minutes to an hour. Please don't spill, please don't spill right now. Oh my God. At 50 minutes, check on it, but you wanna make sure the edges look very slightly dry. I don't know if those adjectives worked well together and make sure the center appears only slightly jiggly, but not liquidy. When you shake it, it will have some give to it. Stick a toothpick through it. It's been an hour now. I spend all the time cleaning these dishes and I think it might have overcooked a little bit, but you know what, it's okay. I'm not gonna judge it by how it looks. It's definitely more set than when it could be because I spent the time doing makeup. It smells good. The only problem is I don't know how to get out of the pan. Like if I do this all the way around, it should in theory pop right out. I'm trying to get it to lift. It's not lifting. So I'm gonna do something risky. My dad is mowing the lawn by the way, so apologies if you hear brrr. I'm gonna flip it thinking right now, like in how many ways could this go wrong? You know what? Nope. I'm not risking it. I didn't hear anything. Oh. Oh, well okay. So I know it overcooked because it smelled a little burnt. I can work with that. Look, parchment paper gone. So I got this from Party City. It's a cake stand. And then we're gonna do this one more time. Flip it over. I should just put it on the cake stand to begin with. Ooh. Okay, you know what? It's not ruined. Let me just taste it really quick. Oh yeah. Oh my God. It tastes like a cheesecake. That's all I care about. Does it look perfect? No, but since one have I made something perfect and that's all I have for you guys. So if you haven't seen the birthday video, go watch it. And if you enjoyed, give it a like, leave a comment down below. Subscribe for more videos every week. Turn on my notifications, even though it doesn't matter because YouTube doesn't show you sometimes. And as always, I love you guys and everything's less than three. I just love so much. It is actually so good guys. Like you don't understand. Make it yourself. You won't regret it.


I was trying to make it. I was trying to get those 100 bucks so I can survive and so I can pay the rent. And I think that was one of my main mistakes. I was not detached from money at all. And when I started to understand that this is not a profession that would give you the surviving skills, but gives you the growing skills, once I understood that things started to change in the way I approach trading, I started to look at the setup a little bit more instead of the money that I was making or what I was losing. I was trying to understand the risk management a little bit better.