Hello everyone in another video with our guest, a professor Sam Vaknyin. If someone doesn't know him, give me a minute and I would love to introduce him. He's a visiting professor of psychology, Southern Federal University Rostov-Ondon in Russia, and the author of Malignan Self-Love Narcissism Revisited. And of course a professor of finance and psychology in SIEAS, in Center for International Advanced and Professional Studies. Hello again. Finally I know who I am. What a feeling, what an amazing feeling. So Sam, thank you for having me. Thank you for saying yes. So today I would like to speak with you about, I think, yeah, it's a really important topic about why breaking up with NPD is so difficult and why NPD has so many difficulties to breaking up, for example with BPD or DPD. And I think, yeah, it's a lot of misunderstanding around this and yeah, I would love to dive into this topic. People think that the narcissist is totally autonomous, independent, strong, dominant, alpha male or alpha female and so on and so forth. And of course the truth is exactly the opposite. Narcissism is a post-traumatic condition. The narcissist is needy, he's exactly like a codependent. Both the codependent and the narcissist are needy. They just need different things but they are both needy. The narcissist is addicted to narcissistic supply and without narcissistic supply, he falls apart, he falls to pieces so he needs supply and more precisely, he is dependent upon sources of narcissistic supply. Clinically speaking, there is no distinction between codependency and narcissism. Both of them involve external regulation. In narcissism, the narcissist regulates his internal environment by obtaining feedback from outside sources. Similarly, the codependent regulates her internal environment by obtaining input from an external source, her intimate partner. So they both go out, they outsource, they both go out of themselves to regulate their internal environment, their emotions, their moods, etc. In this sense, narcissists and codependents are mirror images. The narcissist needs to be seen in a highly specific way but he needs to be seen, he needs to be noticed. The borderline and codependent need to be needed. The crucial element in borderline and codependency is, as my wife keeps saying in her work, the need to be needed. So this is a perfect match, it's a match made in heaven because the codependent finds, I will say women and men, although it applies to all genders. So the codependent finds a man who is needy, who needs her and she needs to be needed so it gratifies her fully, satisfies all her needs and makes her feel safe. She needs to feel safe and if she is needed, she feels safe only when she is needed. So the narcissist needs her and makes her feel safe with him. She feels safe with the narcissist. There's another element and that is the false self. The false self of the narcissist is perfect. All-knowing, omniscient, all-powerful, omnipotent, godlike, brilliant, etc. In other words, the false self of a narcissist is a parental figure. It's how we see our parents when we are 18 months old or two years old. We regard our parents as all-knowing, all-powerful, infallible, never make mistakes, godlike, godlike figures. The narcissist has the false self and the codependent binds with the false self as a parental figure. So the narcissist becomes in a way a substitute parent for the codependent, which makes her feel very, very safe again. So she feels safe in two ways with the narcissist. One, the narcissist needs her for supply and so on. And second thing, the narcissist's false self is a substitute parental figure. She cannot feel safe this way with any other type of men, only with the narcissist. Same goes for the borderline. And this is the secret sauce, this is the glue that holds these psychological profiles together. Now the narcissist takes advantage of the codependence of borderline's neediness. What the narcissist does, he idealizes the codependent and the borderline. And then he gives the borderline and he gives the codependent access to this idealized image. He makes them fall in love with their own idealized image, which is a form of self-love. And then this creates a very strong bond, a very strong attachment, because self-love is the most powerful form of love. And if you don't have self-love, you miss out on a lot. For example, you're unable to love other people, you're unable to have intimacy, you're unable to have relationships. For the first time usually in the life of the codependent and the borderline, she experiences self-love. She doesn't love her real self, she loves her idealized self. And this gives the narcissist enormous power over her. So there are many, many dynamics at play which bind these profiles together and it's very difficult to break this apart. Part of it is the trauma, but actually it's not the big part. Trauma bonding is not the big part in these relationships. It's opposite actually. It's the feeling of safety. It's the feeling of being mutually needed. It's the feeling of self-love via idealization. Actually the dynamic between narcissist and borderline and narcissist is codependent is largely positive, not negative. Because if you go online and if you read texts and some, they say that what binds the narcissist and the borderline is trauma bonding. There is element of trauma bonding, but there are many other elements which are essentially positive. Which is why it's extremely difficult to break this particular bond. Yeah, I do agree. And also when I'm working with my clients, I can see this pattern, this scheme. Like if you don't want me, you will need me. So this is, I think also what you are talking about, need to be needy, right? And yeah, it's also important. But also it's one of the ingredients in this group. It's also to be feel worthy, not only safe, but like to be worthy, finally, for codependent and for VPD. Yes, the sense of self-worth in a codependent, exactly like in a narcissist. The sense of self-worth is regulated from the outside, is externally regulated. When she is needed, she feels worthy. Because typical codependent was brought up to feel that she is a good object, that she is worthwhile, that she can be loved, that she is lovable, only if she provides services. Only if she is needed. Only if she helps, only if she supports, only if she performs. So it's performance-based. Both the narcissist and the codependent as children, they were loved conditionally. They received love only if they performed. The narcissist had to perform, you know, like in a circus, like in a theater. The narcissist had to show as a child that he is intelligent, unusually intelligent, he had to get good marks at school. He had to collaborate with one of the parents in a parentifying role. He had to fulfill the dreams and the wishes of the parent, dreams and wishes which were not realized and frustrated the parent, et cetera, et cetera. So the narcissist got the message, you are not lovable unless you perform. Same with the codependent, exactly the same with the codependent. She received the message, you are not lovable unless you help me, unless you support me, unless you provide me with services. So she learned that to obtain love, she must find someone who needs her. She must be needed.  So this is the dynamic between these two. And the dynamic is extremely powerful. Again, I repeat, because it's largely positive, actually. The codependent can experience for the first time in her life a stable need, a need that doesn't diminish or doesn't fluctuate. The narcissist needs supply all the time, so there's a sense of stability. She also experiences self-love.  Mother needs to idealize the baby in order to be able to love the baby. So there's a lot of idealization in the beginning. The codependent, when she meets the narcissist, the codependent regresses completely into her childhood. The narcissist with all his partners, even with partners who are not codependent, he pushes them back to childhood. He acts as the mother. The narcissist acts as in a maternal role.  But to receive this from him, you must become a child. Because if he's your mother, you must be a child. Otherwise, the interaction is not possible. So when you meet the narcissist, he idealizes you.  In order to receive this from him, this self-love of your idealized image, you need to become a child. You regress. The codependent regresses, the borderline regresses when they meet the narcissist.  They have a second childhood. And it is like maybe this childhood will be different. Maybe this time, maybe this time I will be loved. Maybe this time I will be accepted. Maybe this time. So it's a unique experience that only the narcissist can give them this second childhood. Yes. And this is also important what you said because sometimes many people are convinced that they have been chosen by NPD because of the empathy or because of the compassion or another characteristic. And it's not even, I think, about that. It's not at all about that. This is a serious grave mistake. The narcissist regards, as I said yesterday, the narcissist regards empathy as a threat. So he would regard an empathic person as a threatening person. The narcissist doesn't select for empathy. The narcissist selects an intimate partner who is vulnerable in the sense that the intimate partner wants to be idealized. Now this could be a codependent, a borderline or normal person. She wants to be idealized because she had never experienced unconditional love and therefore never developed self-love. Rosenberg, I think, calls it self-love deficit. And I like that phrase. So she didn't experience self-love. She has a deficit. The narcissist comes in and says, listen, let's try again. Let's start from the beginning.   I will be your mother and I will allow you to experience unconditional love as an idealized figure. And then you can begin to love yourself. So the narcissist is perceived as a second chance at fixing everything that had gone wrong in childhood. That is enormous binding power, enormous bonding power. That's why it's extremely difficult to break. And the narcissist doesn't want his partner to empathize with him because how can anyone empathize with the narcissist? To empathize means that you are like me. We have something in common, but you're not like me. And we have nothing in common. I'm God, you're human. We cannot have anything in common.  So he doesn't look for empathy. He looks for vulnerability. He looks for neediness. He looks for self-love deficit. And in this sense, the narcissist is really a predator. That part is true. But he doesn't do it with bad intention. It's just the way he is. He finds such women who are vulnerable, then he bonds with them. The borderline and the narcissist plug into the shared fantasy of the... The borderline and the co-dependent. They plug into the shared fantasy of the narcissist because it is within this shared fantastic space that they feel safe. The narcissist needs them. He is all-powerful and all-knowing. So he's a parental figure. So he can be mother. So they can be children. So they can love themselves. And it's a perfect charmed circle. Which, by the way, can go on for decades. The shared fantasy can last for decades. It just depends. If the two partners never grow up or never evolve or never develop, the shared fantasy could last decades. If one of the partners, the borderline for example or the co-dependent, develops their own autonomous life, independent life, that would threaten the narcissist and everything will fall apart. Yeah, I do agree. And still, many people are convinced that they are like a magnet for a narcissist. But the magnet cannot do anything about that. And they think that it's something inside them that makes it that this kind of match is happening. Let's say, perfect match. So yeah, they truly believe that. Still, about that. Well, the narcissist does scan for vulnerabilities, lack of self-love, neediness. So yes, there is a particular profile. But this profile is so widespread. So a huge part of a population has this profile. So I would say that narcissists are indiscriminate. They're promiscuous. If you can give supply. If you agree to be dependent on the narcissist for your needs. If you agree for him to be needy and to consume supply. If you agree to play each other's mothers, the dual mothership role model. Then he doesn't care anything else about you. He doesn't care about your empathy, your compassion, your affection, your emotionality. These are alien to him. He is not interested in them. And many of these things threaten his uniqueness. Threaten his sense that he is sui generis. That he is one of a kind. Because if one of a kind, he doesn't need help. He doesn't need advice. He doesn't need support. And he doesn't need your empathy. Because he is superior. So it's obvious. Exactly. Why would you need your help or support? Yeah, I do agree. So yeah, but how people are affected. Especially co-dependent PPD by this relationship with NPD. Because they are affected. Before we go into this. You asked two questions. I answered only one. No, I should be sorry. Because I answered only one and forgot about the other one. But now I remember the other one. You asked why NPDs find it difficult to break up with BPD. Yes, yes. Why narcissists find it difficult. And here the answer is a bit interesting. I said earlier that co-dependence and borderline. They kind of adopt the false self of the narcissist. They internalize it. Because the narcissist is needy. Because the narcissist needs the co-dependent. The co-dependent feels that she is in control of the narcissist. He needs her. So she controls him. So if she controls him and he is the false self. She controls an object that is godlike. The co-dependent needs to feel safe. These are the two driving forces in co-dependency. So when she internalizes the narcissist. When she makes the narcissist an internal object. When she takes over the narcissist. Controls the narcissist by giving him supply. Like a pusher of a drug. She gives him the drug. So he is a drug addict. He is addicted to her. When she makes him addicted to her. At that time. She internalizes him. She internalizes his false self. And she becomes godlike. She subsumes. She digests the false self. And all the properties of the false self of the narcissist. Become her properties. So there is a phase in the co-dependent narcissist dance. Borderline narcissist dance. There is a phase. Where the narcissist becomes very very very needy. The borderline. And to some extent the co-dependent. Feel omnipotent. They feel all powerful. They feel that they are. They own the narcissist. They control the narcissist. At that moment. All the properties of the narcissist. All the properties of the false self. Become the properties of the borderline and the co-dependent. Because she owns the narcissist. It's like. If you own a very fast car. The properties of the car. Become your properties. Because you can be fast. If the car. If your car is very fast. Then you are very fast. Of course. Because you are using the car. So it's the same with the borderline and the co-dependent. If they own the narcissist. It's like owning a car. The properties of the narcissist. Become their properties. At that moment. The co-dependent and the borderline. Feel totally safe. They feel safety that they had never felt before. Never. Because they had subsumed. They had internalized and introjected. An object. The false self. Which is godlike. They became in other words. Gods. The narcissists. They became gods. In the. This is the process of co-idealization. The narcissist idealizes the co-dependent. And the borderline. Gives her access to this idealized. Image. Access the mother. Gives her unconditional love. But he needs her. He needs her because she is also his mother. His mother. She also becomes his mother. So he needs her. For supply. For other psychodynamic issues. He needs her. The minute he needs her. She accepts. His idealization of her. She accepts it. It becomes a part of her. Technically. Both of them become narcissists. Yeah. So when the narcissist teams up with the borderline. And co-dependent. Into narcissists. That's why I keep saying that narcissism is contagious. When you have a relationship with the narcissist. Before you know it. You become a narcissist. Clinically. Definitely clinically. For example, your grandiosity goes up enormously. There's a huge jumping grandiosity. Some behaviors become narcissistic. Some traits become narcissistic. So you are infected. With your partner's narcissism. If you are co-dependent on borderline. By digesting. Adopting assimilating his false self. By controlling him. He becomes an extension of you. He becomes a part of you. Like a car. Like you own a car. Okay. The narcissist. I would say that the narcissist is much more dependent on the borderline. Than the borderline on the narcissist. I would say that the. The axis of dependency. Is from the narcissist to the borderline. The borderline is less dependent on the narcissist. Because the borderline is capable of acting out. Acting out in the borderline. In the borderline pathology. Acting out is to break. To break the continuity. After the borderline. Acts out. For example. She finds it much easier to get rid of her intimate partner. So. She has these exit ramps. It's like she's on a highway. And there is an exit. Exit ramp. So borderlines go on a highway. And they have exit ramps. They can be with another man. A stranger. They can run away. For months and years. So borderlines have these exits. Narcissist is on the same highway. But he doesn't have the exits. It's a one-way highway. There's no exit for him. He doesn't act out. He doesn't. He's totally dependent on Narcissist's supply. He's a junkie. So he has no way out. And he is much more dependent on the borderline. Than the codependent. Than the borderline. Is on him. So there are five reasons for this. Unfortunately. Never one. There are five reasons for this. I will mention them briefly and then if you want we can go. So we can go each and every one of them. Yes, please. The first one is external locus of control. The Narcissist develops an external locus of control. His supply is coming from outside. So he depends on his supply. So he feels that he is controlled from the outside. But strangely, with the Narcissist when he develops the belief that he is controlled from the outside his anxiety goes down. Not up. For reasons which we can discuss later. So with the borderline and the codependent the Narcissist feels that she controls him. He feels the borderline is in control. The codependent is in control and he loves it. It reduces his anxiety. The second reason is the Narcissist regards the borderline or the codependent as an enigma. A puzzle. And it challenges his omniscience. It challenges his grandiosity. So he tries to decode the borderline, to decode the codependent, to understand them, to decipher them to make sense of them. And there is no sense borderline and codependency are nonsensical disorders. There's no sense there. It's total chaos. So he doesn't succeed to make sense and this challenges his grandiosity. He feels narcissistic injury. And so he becomes hooked. He becomes addicted to making sense of his borderline or codependent partner in order to restore his grandiosity. The third element is that the borderline and the codependent especially the borderline are very unpredictable. They're very capricious. They create an ambience of uncertainty. Now the narcissist in this ambience of uncertainty feels alive. So with the borderline the narcissist feels alive. The drama, the unexpected outcomes, the acting out, the craziness, the ups and downs, the cycling all these make the narcissist feel alive like a technicolor movie. It's exciting. It's dramatic. Now narcissism is a dramatic personality disorder. Cluster B is called the dramatic or erratic cluster. So narcissism is a dramatic disorder and narcissists need drama to feel alive and if they don't get it, they create drama exactly like the borderline. There are commonalities between narcissists and borderlines. So we have a drama queen and a drama king. Yes, narcissists do create drama or they consume drama and they introduce partners into their lives. They introduce partners that generate drama constantly. Only then does the narcissist feel alive. Now this is exactly the same dynamic in borderline. Borderlines introduce drama dissonant voices inside themselves. When the borderline engages in drama she doesn't feel bad. She doesn't feel depressed. She doesn't feel anxious. She doesn't have time to feel anything. She's in the drama. Similarly, when she introduces drama she feels alive. She feels flourishing. She thrives on drama. It's the same with the narcissists. So the borderline is a drama generator. Now clinically speaking to be addicted to drama is a form of self-harm. It's a form of self-mutilation. So both parties mutilate. I would say that the narcissist infects his partner with grandiosity. So the partner falls in love with her idealized image and becomes very grandiose by assimilating the false self and by having access to the idealized image. So the partner but the narcissist becomes borderline they switch roles the borderline becomes a lot more narcissistic and the narcissist becomes a lot more borderline a lot more dysregulated but he feels alive walking on actions because narcissists are novelty seeking that's one of the characteristics of narcissists and psychopaths novelty seeking and risk taking reckless this is also a form of psychopathy in narcissism. Narcissists are antisocial. So the borderline gives him that. She gives him the novelty all the time new things she gives him the risk she in other words the borderline caters to the psychopathic aspect of narcissism because she is a psychopath she is a secondary psychopath she encourages the psychopathic part of the narcissist and in this sense she makes the narcissist more borderline she pushes the narcissist to become borderline he pushes her to become narcissists it's a very fascinating fascinating dynamic this creates of course intermittent reinforcement because the borderline approaches and then avoids withdraws approach avoidance repetition compulsion she comes close to you you show some signs of intimacy she runs away she then again approaches you and again you fall in love and again you show signs of intimacy and again she runs away or sabotages the intimacy or does something crazy or acts out and this is a compulsion this is a compulsion the borderline does all this to gain control over the partner she creates the uncertainty she creates the unpredictability she creates the crazy making and so therefore she is in control she can stop it or start it or start it and stop it and that's precisely what she's doing all the time it's a power play and a control mechanism and the narcissist is subject to intermittent reinforcement now the borderline has two anxieties she has engulfment anxiety and abandonment anxiety so when she gets close she is afraid of engulfment and meshment she is afraid to lose herself to disappear so she runs away when she runs away she is afraid to be abandoned and rejected so she comes back and the narcissist is subjected to this dance and finally this dance regulates the effects and the moods of the narcissist the narcissist feels good she feels bad is up or down depressed or elated in accordance to what happens in his relationship so will this approach avoidant trap? it's approach avoidance that starts to regulate the internal landscape of the narcissist it's external regulation now if you put all these together you get a very bizarre picture which is a picture that is similar to almost everything online almost all the YouTube videos for example it is not the borderline it is not the narcissist's partner that is subjected to intermittent reinforcement it's the narcissist because if you go online they say the narcissist plays with you he is hot and cold he approaches, he avoids he is playing with you no, it's not true because they need a stable source of supply it is the partner of the narcissist that plays hot and cold I'm here today, I'm there tomorrow I love you, I don't love you I hate you, don't leave me it's the partner, it's the borderline the codependent who are playing these games not the narcissist also there is the belief that the narcissist affects the moods the emotions of the borderline regulates them but it's usually exactly the opposite it's the borderline that changes the moods and the effects of the narcissist etc etc the picture as it is described online gets it completely wrong completely opposite everything that online people so called experts tell you that his borderline is actually narcissist and everything they tell you is narcissist is actually borderline the borderline is the one who controls the dynamic of the relationship with the narcissist she controls the regulation of his moods and effects she controls approach avoidance she controls walking on actions she controls making him feel alive she controls him totally the narcissist is totally controlled I do agree and I have like proof in my clinical experience also because when the NPD is coming to my office they say why I cannot leave my partner with BPD they cannot leave and then they don't know why this is happening so I'm really grateful that you mentioned about this this drama dynamic why they need this because they can avoid this tough and hard feelings especially borderline it's inside her and mostly her sometimes in him but yeah so I'm really happy that you mentioned about that because yeah this is the mostly narcissist asking why is all this drama about and why it's like that they cannot move exactly playing all the time this approach avoid and dance so yeah it's also tough for them yes you can think of it as an addict an addict the narcissist is an addict and the borderline provides him with a perfect drug she gives him supply she gives him drama she controls his moods she controls his emotions she approaches him she avoids him perfect ambience he needs all these elements and she is the perfect package she provides all the elements in one package and this is irresistible to him the narcissist will never leave the borderline the narcissist is a stable partner not the borderline the borderline is the unstable partner exactly opposite what people are saying online yeah and you also mentioned about that MPD's anxiety is going down with this could you say or why one big mistake catastrophic mistake and the information online is that psychopaths and narcissists have no fear and have no anxiety that is very very old information we no longer teach this or think this we now begin to consider psychopathy perhaps as a form of anxiety disorder and we definitely we definitely know it's even in the DSM-5 the alternative model for narcissistic personality disorder page 767 we definitely know that narcissists suffer from anxiety disorders comorbid anxiety disorders and mood disorders depression as well this is this is an antiquated very obsolete and wrong information so narcissists suffer from anxiety, severe anxiety and they are subjected to mood swings they have mood disorders as well and this anxiety there are two ways the narcissist tries to overcome this anxiety one way is grandiosity grandiosity is a compensatory mechanism anxiety of the narcissist is because as a child the narcissist was helpless was subjected to abuse was not loved so of course he developed anxiety he didn't know what will come next what will happen next he could not predict what the adults around him are going to do to him this created a background of anxiety and depression I call it prolonged grief the narcissist mourns himself grieves himself it's like the narcissist had died as a child the true self died and then the false self emerged but the false self is not the narcissist it's a piece of fiction it's a story narrative so the narcissist dies as a child and ever since then he is in mourning he is grieving so the background of anxiety and depression is there now the narcissist overcomes it in two ways one grandiosity if the narcissist says it's like then he doesn't need to be anxious anymore because God is not anxious God can do anything God knows everything God can predict anything that is going to happen God can prevent anything or make anything happen so God never has anxiety or depression and so this is one solution but there is another solution which is much neglected in the literature the narcissist adopts is by giving up his independence, autonomy agency and self-efficacy giving them up by saying from now on it's I don't decide my destiny I don't decide my fate I don't decide my life someone else does he hands over the responsibility to someone else his intimate partner now this sounds completely anti-narcissistic so this deserves some deeper explanation I apologize that I'm monopolizing the conversation but these are totally new things so most narcissists ultimately we know this it's substantiated in studies and so on most narcissists finally develop external locus of control most narcissists at some point become externalized so they say my life is decided by my boss my boss is not promoting me because he's jealous of me so he decides my life my wife is not doing this or is doing this and consequently I cannot do this or I can do this so it's like my wife is deciding my boss is deciding, my neighbor is deciding this is called alloplastic defense the narcissist is blaming other people blaming them for anything that goes wrong in his life but when you blame other people what are you saying you are saying these other people control me they're in control if I blame you for something bad that happened to me then you are in control of me because you made this bad thing happen you're in control so the narcissist hands control to the environment he hands it over and he develops an external locus of control of course because the narcissist is dependent on narcissistic supply the locus of control is always out there he needs supply from other people so these other people control his internal environment so we have two things one is external locus of control the narcissist perceives his life as determined from the outside by others and we have addiction to supply which is also an external locus because supply comes from outside in other words the narcissist feels that he is not in control of anything ever that's a very frightening feeling it creates anxiety he is anxious exactly as he was anxious when he was a baby he is always in a state of infantilism he's always a child and things happen to him people do things to him so he says to himself there's a solution for that I will find a woman who loves me and I will give her the control so then I feel safe if my boss controls me if my neighbor controls me I don't feel safe I don't feel safe because they don't love me because I'm not lovable I'm not doing anything for them or they perceive it that I'm not doing anything for them so I don't feel safe but if I have an intimate partner in my life and she loves me and she is addicted to me and I can get her addicted to me by becoming her mother by giving her access to her idealized image everything we discussed so this partner I can trust I can hand over control to this partner at that moment I don't need to be anxious and I feel totally safe because I don't believe that my intimate partner will abuse the power that I'm giving her over me now the narcissist when he has an intimate partner enters a shared fantasy space within this shared fantasy space he actually has no autonomy no independence no agency and no self-efficacy everything is determined by his intimate partner in the shared fantasy another reason for this is that remember that narcissism is the outcome of failed separation the child failed to separate from mother so the narcissist perceives independence as separation he perceives autonomy self-autonomy as separation and he is terrified of separation he is terrified of separation and he keeps failing when he tries to separate starting with his mother so he is trying to avoid separation so he needs supply from outside he needs an external locus of control which is safe like an intimate partner and he needs to not separate he needs to not separate so you put all this together you get a transfer of power to the intimate partner this is the initial phase of the relationship this is the idealization phase as I said in other videos gradually the narcissist wants to separate so there is a phase where the narcissist devalues you and discards the intimate partner in order to separate but then he fails he fails to separate and the cycle starts again in the initial phases of the shared fantasy which could last many years or many decades it is the intimate partner that is totally in control of the narcissist the intimate partner needs it if the intimate partner is a borderline or if she is a codependent this control over the narcissist makes her feel safe makes her feel needed and the narcissist needs it because her control over him makes him feel safe makes him feel wanted makes him feel loved so both sides collaborate in this transfer of power of course at some point the narcissist takes this power back he takes it back and then he devalues, discards and so on it would explain all these things put together the anxiety reduction the other things that I mentioned if you put all these together it is very difficult to break for the narcissist to break the bond very difficult too many psychological needs and too many processes take place including regression to early childhood so on both parties as each other's mother they regress the other and how does one abandon one's mother how do you abandon your mother how do you abandon someone who is in control of you and determines every second of your waking life how do you abandon someone who gives you a sense that you're alive how do you abandon someone who helps you to forget about your anxiety about your depression about your ego dissonance how do you get rid of someone like that it's a perfect package perfect storm and the narcissist needs compelling reasons to break up with the borderline and these compelling reasons are the deviation from the snapshot divergence from the snapshot and the need to separate which ultimately becomes powerful yes thank you for this explanation it's showing a lot about this dynamic and I think the answer why it's so extremely I would even say difficult to break this let's say perfect mash so yes yet the another question was how people are affected by this because like you mentioned already like when narcissist is giving you this kind of perfect view on yourself and when you have this self love deficit it's really hard to break it I think for BPD and DPD because then you have to realize and to see that you never exist yes it's a good point as I said earlier the narcissist forces the borderline or the codependent and there is a debate what exactly is codependent and whether there is a need for dependent personality disorder as a separate diagnosis and all probability it will not be maintained in the TSM6 these are all post traumatic conditions as Judith Herman keeps saying these are all post traumatic conditions as I keep saying much later she was the first to say these are all post traumatic conditions with self states with dissociative processes and so on so all these distinctions she's a borderline she's a codependent the distinguishing between codependent and narcissist I would say it's a wrong distinction but generally speaking the narcissist pushes the borderline to take care of his false self let's put it this way he says listen I am controlled from the outside I'm an addict to narcissistic supply people have power over me that makes me very sad that makes me very anxious would you mind if I give you my false self and you take care of it would you mind the borderline says no I love you what can I do for you I'm going to give you the false self you're going to be my source of supply you're going to be my mother and love me unconditionally even if I abuse you you're going to love me unconditionally so I'm going to test you I'm going to abuse you to see if you really are my mother and you're going to procure you're going to get me obtain get for me supply you're going to be the gateway you're going to be the portal and you're going to be in charge of my false self of course the minute the borderline takes this object the false self she gets infected she becomes narcissistic because from that moment all the properties and the qualities of the false self become her properties and qualities again like owning a fast car if you own a fast car you're fast so if she owns the false self she is God like she is the owner of God so she becomes a bit narcissistic a lot narcissistic actually the narcissists having given her the false self has guaranteed narcissistic supply from a safe source so his anxiety goes down his depression goes down he becomes much more alive he feels happy he feels literally happy now someone else has the problem of obtaining supply someone else is in charge of the false self he can finally breathe he can finally feel relieved and so on and he assumes a passive position passive position and she assumes an active position at that point he becomes essentially a borderline subject to dysregulation because she is approaching, avoiding she gives him intermittent reinforcement one day she loves him one day she hates him she is ambivalent so all this uncertainty and unpredictability dysregulate him he becomes much more dysregulated and much more borderline like this switch roles simply they simply switch roles she becomes narcissistic he becomes borderline it is a temporary condition for two reasons at some point the narcissist would need to separate from her because his relationship is a reenactment of his early childhood he is just replaying his early childhood with her he is making her his mother he is replaying so at some point he would need to separate from her so this is a temporary condition what I described the role switching is a temporary condition at some point the narcissist tries to separate from her and at some point she acts out so her acting out and his need for separation destroys the relationship ultimately inevitably so let's say that they are separating for good and how to move on and I would just like to add that moving as a process not as a decision as many people thinks for one event it's not like that it's a it's a process how to move on? I dealt with it in other videos but one thing I didn't say in other videos is that the experience is so unique both for the borderline and for the narcissist it's so amazing so spectacular so all-pervasive so that I think the main difficulty to move on is the disbelief that you will ever have any such relationship in the future you can't believe that any future relationship will be as good as this or as bad as this or as intense as this both the borderline and the narcissist when they break up, when they separate inevitably that all future relationships will be dull and boring and in comparison I think that's the main obstacle actually I believe that is the main obstacle there are other obstacles of course the voice of the narcissist the introject the voice of the narcissist remains in the mind of the borderline the codependent for a very long time and she mistakes this voice she thinks it's her voice so she needs to work on the introjects she needs to separate his introjects from her introjects and then get rid of his introjects that's another major issue a third major issue is the trauma both parties had been traumatized he trusted her as an external a regulating external object he trusted her to control him and to do good by him and to take care of the false self and to love him unconditionally and she's incapable of this especially if she's a borderline she approaches, she avoids she loves, she hates she undermines, she constructs she destructs, I mean he's not a stable partner so he's been traumatized narcissists are traumatized by relationship with borderline and she of course had been traumatized because he idealized her he mothered her to be the worst nightmare to be abandoned this way so they had become each other's persecutory objects they had become each other's nightmares and so when they separate the residual trauma post-traumatic effects there are many issues but ultimately the trauma fades and goes away ultimately the introjects also fade away or you learn to distinguish the voices and the narcissists voice and you can eliminate the narcissists voice but what doesn't go away is the enormous intensity of the relationship it was a relationship in color and all other relationships look like relationships in black and white yeah I do agree many of my clients in the office they say like so it was like a rainbow and now it's like a blind foot, like I don't like it and it will be like that till the end of my life I'm not enjoying they they say actually about that I'm from personal experience of course I've had many borderline partners and having tasted my first borderline the first woman I've been with was not a borderline actually I'm not sure about it but my fiancée my first fiancée was a borderline I said the first borderline I want to be only with borderlines no okay I know it's bad, I know it's mad I know it's sad I know it's wrong, I know it's self-destructive it's a form of self-harm self-harming I know it dysregulates me I know I lose control I actually lose control I give control to the intimate partner that's the deal I know it's going to end badly and I have a problem with the snapshot as well so I know it's absolutely not what the doctor ordered but I cannot be with any other woman who is not a borderline I simply cannot, I need the intensity I need the color I need this rainbow it's not even rainbow I think that was a bad mild relationship it's an explosion it's Aurora Borealis it's almost supernatural phenomenon and the reason of course is simple she provokes in you the child you provoking her the child and you both experience yourself and the world as children do children experience the world very intensely because everything is new everything is for the first time everything is threatening there's novelty there's risk around the corner and so the borderline and the narcissist are two children they regress each other and they then together experience their relationship and the world as children do with all the hope of childhood all the infinity of childhood and all the intensity and color of childhood nothing can compete with this and every price for me is worth it every price is worth it I'm grateful that you shared with your experience I hear you but from my also experience I was in a one long term relationship and I think the experiment was an NPD and I think badly I will never do for myself such a thing like this yeah I'm not borderline and I'm not narcissist I'm talking about pathological yeah I know but for me it was like really bad and hard experience of course because you're a normal person yeah healthy so I'm so grateful that you shared this with us totally thank you one more time thank you for having me thank you for thank you for listening for your time and I'm so grateful also for your comments thank you and have a nice day thank you everyone bye


Hi, I'm Premier Christy Clark. British Columbia's multicultural society is our competitive advantage. Our diversity is the key to creating strong and vibrant communities. It's an important bridge across the Pacific and vital to securing BC's economic future. Soon, I'll be leaving for my fourth jobs and trade mission to Asia, where I'll visit China, Japan, and Korea. Our business and family ties with the world's fastest-growing economies help us open new markets for our products overseas. That's why trade missions are so important. They strengthen our relationships and our economy. As Premier of Canada's most ethnically diverse province, I'm proud to join with British Columbians in celebration of multiculturalism week, because our diversity makes us so much stronger.


The following is a presentation of TFNN. The Morning, Market Kickoff with your host, Tommy O'Brien. Good morning everybody. I'm Tommy O'Brien, comedy live from TFNN Friday morning just after 9 a.m. Eastern time. We got about 24 minutes to go until the start of trading and we got a lot happening this morning as we commit to Friday action with markets clawing back some of the losses over the last couple of days. We're talking about folks, about 140 points, quite the sell-off from where you were Wednesday morning trading at a price point of 45.08. You dive down talking about 142 points to be exact, low 43.66 overnight. We've jumped a little bit higher over that high. You're looking for some Fibonacci numbers. Excuse me, you're talking about an area, even a 3A2 gets you back to about 44.20. It's been quite a sell-off. We'll see where we go Friday action. We're getting a little bit of a reprieve, but boy, the day is young. We got 22 minutes until the opening bell. We've got stocks higher across the board, NASDAQ 100. You're up by about 90 points. That's 6-10th percent in the positive. You get the Dow right now, up by 36 points, 1-10th percent in the positive, and the Russell, positive by five. That's about 3-10th percent. Crude, positive yet again. We're up by 96 cents on the session. We're trading at $90.60 for the price of crude. Excuse me, gold contract catches a bid. We're up by $7 as we have basically a little bit of a reversal of everything that's been happening over the last couple of days. Excuse me, a little bit of a hiccups there. In terms of yields, in terms of dollar, everything, just a little bit of easing of the tensions. You get the 10-year right now, up by 5 ticks. When you're talking about yields, 10-year pushing about 4.47 percent, the 2-year about 5.12 percent. We were almost at 5.2 percent on the 10-year yesterday. The 10-year was at about 4.5 percent, and we're sitting at about 4.47. Slight reprieve, but boy, you put the 10-year on a daily. It doesn't look like much reprieve on that chart, man. Check it out. Even from where you were in May, imagine buying the 10-year in May at 117, and boom, just like that, you're at almost 108. You talk about a capital loss if you need to sell that 10-year. You jump over to the 2-year over that time. You jump back to where you were in May. The 2-year, you're supposed to be pretty protected.  And that is a great argument, man. You buy the 2-year at 5.12 percent right now. You don't have to worry about capital if you're going to hold it for 2 years. You're going to get your 5 percent. But just back in May, you're buying the 2-year at almost 104. Back in March, you're buying the 2-year at 1.8 percent. Almost 1.04. Back in March, you're buying the 2-year at 1.04 11. And just like that, you lose what? Almost 2.5 to 3 percent if you're buying that. So, man, just mammoth moves on the short end of the curve, moves on the larger end of the curve as well. That, of course, impacting the dollar index, dollar. And you back it up to where we were just talking about May. You're at 1.01, right? March, you were back here at actually 1.04. It's been a one-way trip to higher prices, man. We're sitting at 1.05 48 right now. We go back to a short-term timeframe on a 10-minute chart. And as you can see, though, a little bit of a pullback from the highs we got. Yesterday morning, you had the dollar index pushing 1.05 73. And we are just back a bit at 1.05 48. We jump around to some of the other currencies this morning. Dollar yen with some action. We're back to 1.48 25 from the lows of yesterday of pushing 1.47. We jump over to the euro-US dollar right now. 1.06 handle for the euro-US dollar, dollar strength, man. And that seems to be the consensus going forward. We jump over to the VIX volatility index. 1.1754 was where we got to yesterday, man. Put this thing on a daily. I'm chopping around. You're coming back to the highs of August, that high of 1.1888. We got, what, 17, what did I just say? 1.1754 yesterday. So just coming up to the highs of August, quite the acceleration. Can this time be different? We got about five, six weeks until the next Fed meeting. A lot of pressure on the markets as we await the next Fed meeting. Not sure what gives this market a bit. Maybe we have a little bit of a consolidation in this market. It's talking about on this program yesterday, okay? This area here that I have highlighted is an area of confidence, folks. Keep your eye on it, okay? Because number one, you take the area that we were in in March, the one-way trip to higher prices. That's an area of 3,800 and change up to 4,600. You had an 800 point run in the S&P over a period of about five months. Okay? The 618 of that area brings you down to about 4,150. All right? That's the lower boundary of that confidence area. And then you take the flash low back about a year ago of 3,500. You take it to the same high and you're talking about the 3,800. 4,200. So an area of confidence, folks, is two different Fibonacci retracement areas of two different trends and how they line up. And there's your 3,800, there's your 618. There it is on the chart. What I think is so cool about this area is that this is a natural area of retracement. This is an area that was resistance. Maybe that's your area of support. You were up back there in December. You were back there in February and you chopped around there before you really started the acceleration in June from a period of about March up until that acceleration in June, May, June, when you're just jammed from 4,100 up to 4,600 on some of the AI craze, pushing that above that 4,200. 4,200 had been a ceiling for some time. Even you back it up on a three-year weekly, right? You can see that area, if you stretch it to the left, you did get above it in August. You got up to a high of 4,327, but that was short-lived. That was just before you dove down to the cycle lows of 3,502, but also the area you were at last May. So keep your eye on that 4,150 to 4,200 area, man. We're not that far off. I was saying yesterday, right? Market's been down 100 points in a couple of days and you're only talking about basically 200 points from that area and what happened throughout the day just yesterday, right? Just since I was on the area yesterday, man, got off the air at what? 10 o'clock, the market was at 4,406. By the time you were trading in the after hours, you dropped 40 points to 43,66. So we got volatility back right now. This market's trying to figure things out. You got yields in the mix as well. And you got dollar strength carrying forward as well. See if the markets can handle it. We will see. All right. Let's jump around to some of the headlines of the day. We'll kick it off with the market wrap from Bloomberg. U.S. futures signal some respite after bruising week. Yeah. Ten-year Treasury yield touched 4.5%. We talked about that. Bank of America is talking about rate concerns, spark the biggest stock outflows of the year. Right? How about that one, man? And it looks like Microsoft. They're going to get their deal done with Activision Blizzard. Buff it. Keep your eye on Buffett. He's not always right, man. But he went into that thing looking for a little bit of an arbitrage opportunity saying, hey, I'm going to buy some Activision Blizzard. I think the deal's getting done. I think there's enough in there to make the risk reward profitable. And even if it doesn't get done, so I still like kind of where the equity is at. Well, guess what? Looks like it's going to get done, man. Activision Blizzard gaining in the pre-market as Microsoft's acquisition of the company looked to set to clear the final regulatory hurdle. And yeah, let's jump over. Why not? ATVI, I believe, is there? Yeah, there it is, man. Where did Buffett get in a while ago? Look at the volatility on this thing. It's lived and died on some of the news coming out. It's going to be interesting to see how this plays out in the future, man. Microsoft has said that they're not going to use this to be anti-competitive. I'm not sure if you know how business works, but there's no way that's going to be the case going forward. Microsoft makes the Xbox. They're buying one of the biggest game makers out there. There's no way that they're not going to try and use those games to gain an advantage for the Xbox, even though they say those games will be available on all platforms for a period of X years. Nonetheless, the deal seems to get done. Activision Blizzard hiring the pre-market. We've got Microsoft shares right now. Hire with the market as well. Stay tuned, folks. It's Friday. Back in three minutes. Don't go away. If you're looking for potential trading setups in the stock market, then Rocket Equities & Options Report is a newsletter you should try. Tommy O'Brien delivers options and equity trades when the markets present them, using a combination of fundamentals and technicals. Sign up for Rocket Equities & Options Report today with a 30-day money-back guarantee so you have nothing to risk. For all the details and to start your subscription today, visit the front page of TFNN.com. TFNN Educating Investors Everything in the universe is governed by the Fibonacci sequence. This mathematical principle is responsible for everything from the most aesthetically pleasing artwork to patterns in the stock market. To stay on top of stock patterns you can take advantage of, sign up for the Fibonacci 24-7 newsletter at TFNN.com. When you subscribe, you'll get a weekly report from Veteran Day Trader Larry Pezzavento on stocks you need to pay attention to, and you can trust Larry's analysis. After all, he's got 45 years' experience as a day trader. Larry will also provide daily charts, videos, and data on the key markets that he's tracking. Expect notifications from Larry on market movement you need to act on at any time. First-time subscribers also get a 30-day money-back guarantee. If you're not satisfied, let us know and you'll get a full refund within 30 days of signing up. Subscribe to the Fibonacci 24-7 newsletter today TFNN.com Educating Investors Steve Bodes is committed to sharing his techniques and knowledge with anyone who wants to learn, and he shares his vast amount of trading knowledge every day in his Mastering Probability newsletter. Steve's award-winning newsletter, Mastering Probability, is delivered every trading day with updates throughout the afternoon. Sign up for Steve's market newsletter, Mastering Probability, and you'll receive access to seven of Steve's educational webinars absolutely free. At TFNN, all our newsletters come with a 30-day money-back guarantee, so you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Visit TFNN.com and try Mastering Probability 30 days risk-free today. TFNN Educating Investors There's no cash or added costs when you join our community of traders.  I got a chart of Amazon up here. Quite a pullback yesterday. Down to 128. You're up to 131. Some context here. It's been quite a run for Amazon shares. You kick off the year at about $81. Remarkable, up to 145 almost. You're pushing back to 129, but this morning you're up about a buck 70. That's about a percent and a half to the upside at 131 as volatility persists in a big way. I've read an article in the journal this morning about Amazon. This will be an interesting one to see how it plays out and see what consumers really value here. So they're talking about a couple of low-discount competitors here. The headline is Amazon's new challenge, bargain retailers that are playing a different game. The different game is they're not delivering items in two days, so that's where it's really going to get interesting. And Amazon, with their Prime, I wouldn't say they service only affluent customers, but they are geared towards a more affluent customer when you consider the fact that you're paying for Prime, you're ordering multiple products, et cetera. You have the ability to pay a slight premium for that. But they got Shine and Timu. Not familiar with Timu. I am familiar with Shine. And they talk about, okay, these both have Chinese roots and they're tapping into demand for low-price items that aren't delivered quickly. And that's where it's going to be interesting to see. I mean, are we going to go back to preferring to allow things to get delivered at a longer-term basis for a more affordable price? I mean, wherever you are on the income spectrum, I'm sure at some point you are willing to save money and wait a little bit for your product. And what they talk about here is that inside of Amazon, executives have been weighing how to respond to the two competitors. And Amazon has not yet taken steps to match the prices of the items on Timu. They probably can't if it's got that long to get delivered, right? Because part of the reason why Amazon got the prices they got is that, man, they'll drop it at your door within four hours in some locations, depending on where you are. Inside of Amazon, executives have been weighing on how to respond to the two competitors. There's a market for bargain items that take longer to arrive and have tried to figure out if they should make such offerings in their own site more discoverable and available. So this is like a big-pitcher deal, right? What do consumers want? What are they willing to pay? Is there enough profit to be made on that side of things? Shine and Timu aren't going after two-day delivery or better customer service. They seem to be hitting the lower and cheap stuff that people are willing to wait for. I'm going to sneeze. Excuse me. A little bit of a sneeze there. Inflation-wearing American customers have increasingly been willing to try out these two services. Since launching in the U.S. services in September of 2022, Timu's website and app, a measure for how often shoppers are visiting grew by more than 10 times to about 70.5 million. That's monthly unique visitor. 70.5 million is the number. Since August of 2021, Shine's U.S. monthly unique visitors nearly doubled to roughly 41 million in March. Amazon's monthly unique visitors decreased to 211 million in March from about 217 million in September. Not what you want to see, right? If you're out there, but nonetheless, it's not surprising, man. There are certain items, folks. I mean, I know Shine. What are they big on? Clothing, right? I don't know. That's in my household. Clothing, teenage girls clothing is what they were looking at there. And that's something that, yeah.  You don't need to come in the next day. Maybe you're willing, especially at the right price. Some of those items, man, just very, very affordable on those two apps. So that's going to be interesting to see how it plays out. They recently opened a marketplace for U.S. customers. This is Shine creating a channel for independent merchants to sell products through its site. Thousands of Amazon sellers have joined the new platform. So it's a wild new frontier, man. And it's so interesting to see how it actually might go backwards on the other way, right? Amazon plowed forward two-day delivery. But guess what? Now you can get two-day delivery if you want. But now consumers are price-conscious. Yet again, and what happens if you're price-conscious? Well, if you're willing to wait a few days or even a few weeks at times, okay, that's the kicker here. Maybe you're willing to go to that service in Forgo, Amazon. They ship many products directly from China based on consumer demand instead of having large inventory sitting in warehouses in advance. So that's a business plan that Amazon probably can't match. It's a completely different business model. I think Amazon's going to be shy to go there. And I wonder how much actual profit is in that business when you're selling at such low price points and delivering it over a few weeks. Nonetheless, interesting, right? All right, we jump to the automakers. The next strike is coming. Hey, can you tell the Halloween costumes that I've been looking for for Tommy this year? Can you tell how I'm getting tagged? Yeah, he might be a dinosaur. I think this is the one he's going to be. He's going to be Stegosaurus skeleton. That's the one, maybe. HalloweenCostumes.com. They'll get a free plug because I was over there. I did purchase a Halloween costume for Tommy. I think that's the one he's going to be. I think so. There it is again. They're everywhere, folks, right? No tiger. I know he's got his tiger out for it, but he's a dinosaur man these days. The UAW poised to expand the strike to more auto factories. The union leader scheduled to identify strike locations Friday morning. So it's coming. I think it was by noon today, right? Is that what he was talking about if we don't have any severe progress by noon today? He's going to instruct walkers to walk out of more factories unless serious progress is made. And yeah, so you got about 12,700 workers who have been on strike for a week at three plants, one for each automaker. It's got to be pretty tough if you're one of the workers that somehow just goes on strike first, right? Doesn't seem quite fair. It's going to be interesting to see how they hold the line here. Negotiators have been meeting all week, but publicly the sides have reported little progress. The latest counteroffers from the companies settled at around 20% wage increases over four years, among other benefits. The union has called these offers insufficient, and they're looking for mid 30% wage increases down from the initial 40. Well, so they're moving. They're moving towards the middle, but they still got a 15% gap in the middle. And as I said, man, there is so much more important stuff that goes on in these negotiations more than just the wage number. The wage number is a big number, of course, okay? But whether you're talking about sick leave, whether you're talking about the ability to move workers to different plants, right? The devil is always in the details. I'm sure there are so many details that go into something like this. Today matters, of course. And those are the numbers that catch all the headlines because they're tantalizing. But it'd be interesting to see where we go. Let's see, GM president wrote an opinion piece in the Detroit pre-fress accusing, this is the union's team of misrepresenting the company's ability to afford the union's demands. He said 85% of GM's unionized workers would earn a base wage of about $82,000 annually under the recent GM proposal. I don't know if that's enough, man. He's touting that saying, hey, come on. I don't know if that's enough. In the days of what's the UPS driver getting, like $140,000 at the end of the completion here? GM's making a lot of money, man. $82,000 a year. I don't know if that's what it used to be, especially if they're talking about the end of the contract. I think he's putting that number out there, thinking that that will wow a lot of people, and it may. But I think we're all aware of what, can you afford a house on $82,000 a year right now with a 7.5% mortgage? Let's have that conversation, right? Can you afford a car? Can you afford the groceries that go with it? I mean, put that in context there. Yeah, $82,000 is a great paid wage if you're coming in there, but that's talking about almost everybody. And if you're in there for a while, man, it seems like you might be deserving to make more than $82,000 as a union employee working for GM for an extended period of time. It seems like you should be able to afford a house. And I don't know if you could afford a great house right now with where rates are and where housing prices are. All right, folks, stay tuned. We're coming back for the open. Adding stock options to your portfolio can be a major game changer, but the full complexities of these instruments can oftentimes allude even the most experienced traders. Whether you're a seasoned trader looking to sharpen your knowledge on options or you're completely new to the market, Teddy Kextat is here to help. 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Teddy Kextat breaks down the forex markets every Monday using his 30-plus years of experience as a trading veteran of futures, forex, stocks, and options. Teddy releases his weekly Tiger Forex report every Monday morning with coverage of all the major currency pairs, including the Dollar Index, the Euro Dollar, Pound Dollar, Dollar Swiss, Dollar Yen, as well as many more, and he also has weekly coverage of the crude oil market and the 30-year T-bonds as they both influence forex markets tremendously. When you sign up for the Tiger Forex report, you also gain instant access to Teddy's 60-minute Webinar Archive. He just hosted forex strategies and fundamentals What is Behind the Tiger Forex report. For all the details and to start your 30-day Tiger Forex report subscription today, visit the front page of TFNN.com. TFNN Educating Investors And it's not just dry, tedious text either. TFNN airs live financial content streamed live on TFNN.com and TFNN's YouTube channel with Tiger TV, live every market day from 8.30 a.m. to 4.00 p.m. Eastern. For free, each host is an experienced trader and gives their take on the market while taking calls and questions live from around the world. From the moment the market opens until the closing bell sounds, Tiger TV has eight different shows with expert hosts to help you make the right moves with your money. Watch online at TFNN.com or on TFNN's YouTube channel and become the investor you were born to be. TFNN Educating Investors Don't forget, you can listen to TFNN live on your mobile device 24 hours per day. Go to TFNN.com and hit Watch Tiger TV. That's TFNN.com and hit Watch Tiger TV. Welcome back folks, we've got markets open and you get a little bit of a pullback coming into that opening bell. We go into a five minute chart, right? Coming into it, right?  We give up 10 S&P points just like that. You get the NASDAQ. We're up by 65 points. Dow actually inches into negative territory just below the lows of yesterday in the open right now. Dow off 18, you get the Russell positive by six. We check in on yield to jump over to the tenure right now. 108.15 chopping around, we pull back a little bit on yields right now and we talk about the tenure. 4.48 we're inching towards the two-year. Rises a bit as well for yield. Yeah, as we pull back from 101.10 to 101.09, one tick, but these moves on the two-year, the tenure, we check in on the dollar index right now. Yeah, coming back to some strength. The day is young, man. You want to ride this one into the weekend? I don't know, folks. I was talking about it yesterday. I mean, I would put 4200 on your chart right now. The risk-free rate of return, man. It's very attractive. I talk about it often, but we got some headwinds in this market and we got a Fed that's not playing games, man. And the market's trying to figure that one out as fast as they can with the market sitting right where we were on June 12th, okay? And it's pretty remarkable when you look at the fact that you go back to February and we're only 180 points above where we're at. And this is where the context of everything starts to matter, okay? So you're 180 points above where you're at in February. And yeah, I'm cherry picking the highs of February, okay? But I'm not cherry picking the high of December, which you got a flash high of 4180. So you're 200 points above where you were at in December, which is about nine months ago. And that's about a 5% return, which is basically your risk-free rate of return right now. Okay, now that doesn't take the cherry pick low of 35 or two. There's a lot of highs and lows within here. But we may see some consolidations, man.   All right, so let's zoom in here. Whoops, one more. Let's take that one off as well. Let's back things out. Folks, the area that we're looking at for a possible pullback is right here at 4,200, okay? Do you see the run we've had since the financial crisis? Do you see the run we've had since the taper tantrum back? No, that's the taper tantrum, excuse me. Yeah, that's COVID, man, time flies. Context is important, folks, okay? And keep that in mind, considering where we are. Kind of looks like a double top in that market when you put a big picture. Doesn't mean it's gonna happen. And the great thing, I was talking to our man, Kevin Hinks yesterday with a fast mark on the Schwab network every day. 12 noon Eastern time right here on Tiger TV. And he's saying the economy is strong, man. The economy is strong. Okay, inflation is the problem right now. This economy is stronger than ever. Fed just upgraded its forecast for GDP from 1% to 2.1%, right? They just talked about, they don't even see unemployment getting above about 4.1%. Even as we weather higher for longer rates, the economy is very strong. But sometimes that does not mean stocks go up. And that's the part that you should really try and wrap your brain around, okay? Protect yourself. We talk about technicals on this show all the time. We talk about specific equities. But boy, it has been quite a run in the markets, folks, from 665 to 4400, okay? I mean, what is that? Let's do 4400, 665. We're talking about, I mean, so you're up 3,700 points in the S&P, which is a 561% return from the lows. And that's over a period of 15 years, which means you divide it by 15, you're pushing 37% a year, okay? That's cherry picking the low of 665. But you're up 37%, and it's not even 15 years. That's doing 15 years, okay? So be careful in this market. That's all we're going to say there. And the multiples are lofty. We'll see where we go from there. But higher for longer might mean that with a stronger economy, we might not deserve to be at 4,500 in this market. And boy, you know, we all know how technicals look, man. One thing I talk about as well that kind of resets the context of where we are in this market. Talk about this before as well. President Trump was elected in November of 2016. You can't even see the wildness that happened in the election leading up to that. Remember the futures crashed. They rebounded and were dramatically higher over the overnight session. You talk about some volatility, right? The reason why I bring it up is because the S&P was sitting at about 2150, 2200 at that price range. And whether you believe it or not, a lot of the rhetoric went around saying, man, you know, President Trump inherited this great economy that just went from 600 to 2200, right? It's a one-way trip. He inherited it continues higher. Remember how well everybody thought the market was doing when the S&Ps were sitting at 2200 when President Trump was elected?  He inherited this great economy, okay? Remember the consensus of how everybody felt when the market was sitting at 2200 in November of 2016? Well, it was seven years later and we're up by 100%. We're at 4400 versus 2200, okay? And 100% divided by seven is a 14.3% return over those seven years. And that is taking the point in time when everybody said the market is so great. It's not fair to attribute the gains because we're on a one-way trip to higher prices and we're already doing so well. I'm not taking the lows of 660, okay? I'm taking the November 2016 price point of 2200. We've doubled that in a period of about seven years, not even seven years, okay? And that is a 14.3% return every year for the last seven years after, and that's after the market went from 660 to 2200, okay? We got a COVID pullback in there. We got our 2022 pullback in there when the Fed started hiking. But all things considered, folks, make sure you protect yourself, okay? Because there's a risk-free rate of return out there. We're going higher for longer. And yes, the big worry is you lock yourself into that risk-free rate of return. If you're young, the economy's going to be fine, folks. You know, you weather the storm, you'll be okay. Have diversification in this market. And I know I'm a little bit all over the place, but context is important. And I think people forget how good you felt when the S&Ps were at 2200, right? I think we all forget how great it felt when the S&Ps were at 2200 when President Trump got elected. Things were great, man, right? We came roaring out of the financial crisis. The markets went from 665 up to above 2000. We're holding the well. You tear up from there. You come into COVID at about 3200. The world seems like it's going to be over. We go back to 2200 and before you know it, you're at 4800. So just put that in context of where we are, because if you think that testing these lows of last year is out of the question, you know, and I'm not saying they're going to happen. I'm only talking about 4200 right now, but you better believe it's possible, folks, because there might be some lag in this market. And we might need a little bit of a repricing going on as we come into, I mean, the multiples are bonkers, okay? And AI is going to be revolutionary on a generational basis. But do you see the bar we got on a monthly basis on the video, folks? Do you see the euphoria? Does that look a little parabolic? So protect yourself. Okay, protect yourself in this market because things are a little bit parabolic. Stay tuned, folks. We'll be talking individual equities when we get back. Stay tuned. You might think that if you want to be successful at trading in the stock market, you're going to need a crystal ball. After all, it's impossible to predict the future, right? Like any endeavor in life, before you decide it's impossible, get some advice from the experts. You might find that it's not so impossible after all for daily market overviews that give you direction on the key indices, selective stocks, and commodities. Subscribe to the Opening Call newsletter at tfnn.com. The Opening Call newsletter is written by Basil Chapman, creator of the trading methodology known as the Chapman Wave. The Chapman Wave up-down sequence gives you an edge in identifying price turns, finding the peaks and valleys in stock prices. Get the Opening Call newsletter by Basil Chapman in your inbox every day. First-time subscribers also get a 30-day money-back guarantee. If you're not satisfied, let us know, and you'll get a full refund within 30 days of signing up. tfnn.com Educating investors. Bull and Bear Leveraged ETFs Direction Leveraged ETFs An investor should carefully consider a fund's investment objective, risks, charges, and expenses before investing. A fund's prospectus and summary prospectus contain this and other information about direction shares. To obtain a fund's prospectus and summary prospectus, call<PHONE_NUMBER> or visit Direction Investments.com. A fund's prospectus and summary prospectus should be read carefully before investing. An investment in the funds is subject to risk, including the possible loss of principal. The funds are designed to be utilized only by sophisticated investors such as traders and active investors. Distributor, Four-Side Fund Services, LLC. Adding stock options to your portfolio can be a major game-changer. But the full complexities of these instruments can oftentimes allude even the most experienced traders. Whether you're a seasoned trader looking to sharpen your knowledge on options or you're completely new to the market, the Kekstat is here to help. On Wednesday, September 27th, from 4 p.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern Time, Teddy is hosting a live stream that will teach you how to capitalize on time with calendar stock option spreads. Teddy will also go over how to trade stocks and other market movements without large capital allocation, how to expand portfolio diversification, how to maximize potential returns, basic entry and exit techniques, and more. If that wasn't enough of a reason to attend, Teddy will also be answering all questions live. If you're serious about making money in this market, head over to the front page of TFNN.com today to sign up for Teddy's live stream. TFNN, Educating Investors. This program is brought to you by Vista Gold, traded on the NYSE American and TSX under the symbol VGZ. Welcome back, folks. Market's rolling over a bit, man. We're down to 43.77. Basically, in right near session lows, where you were chopping around, you got the Nasdaq 100. They give it up as well. We're at 14,896. We just gave up almost 100 points. Let's check in on some of the fang stocks. See how we're trading. Amazon catches a lift after the demise yesterday, though. Up 1.3% for Amazon. The big dog, Apple, they give up the gains. It had up about 2.10%. You jump over to Microsoft on the heels of that Activision Blizzard deal probably getting done. We stand about 3.10%. Not really probably an Activision Blizzard deal. That stock up about 1.8% on the final hurdle, potentially being cleared. We jump over to Tesla. Tesla off about 1%. It's going to be interesting to see. Elon's got to love the auto workers. Striking for the competitors. Tesla, non-union. You're going to see that play out if that persists in a big way. We jump over to some of those automakers. Look at what we got, man. Maybe we do forward up a 2% on a spike. Look at the volatility, man. GM up about half a percent. Not sure if there's any news. Let me know in the den if there's a reason why they're spiking on some news there. I know today's an important day. Yeah, so announcement at 10 a.m., huh? 17 minutes. We'll see the volatility. Everybody getting their trades in order on the automakers as they spike higher. They give it up a bit with the S&Ps barely in the positive right now. So the news just hits the wire. We're almost a little bit, man. These politicians, no matter what side of the aisle you're on.  And that's the corruption in politics. That's possibly term limits. I think would help that in dramatic fashion. The way that it's a one-way meal from being a politician to a lobbyist. There's a lot that we could do. And unfortunately, the people in charge of that are the people that we want to limit. So it's very difficult. I saw one bill yesterday talking about the age. Now, here's where things get really complicated in my mind, right? And this is all to do with you got Senator Bob Menendez of New Jersey, Democrat. Now, he's the chair right now of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. That's probably somebody you don't want getting bribed, okay? And they're not talking about the Foreign Relations Committee. I think this is just to do with business in his own state. But nonetheless, he is the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. He's chaired that once before when Democrats were in control of the Senate. And he and his wife have been charged with bribery. Indicted in New York on federal bribery charges related to an allegedly corrupt relationship with three businessmen. They got a press conference at 11 a.m. to follow. So you get the auto workers at 10. You get the Bob Menendez indictment press conference at 11. We've got some good press conferences coming up today. Yeah, three counts.  So that news just hit, man, as I come on. He has been in the Senate since 2006. I was just looking this up. You know who put him in the Senate, folks? You know who put him in the Senate? John Corzine. That's who put him in the Senate. So in January of 2006, he was appointed to fill the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by Corzine. Excuse me. Okay. So Corzine was elected governor of Jersey. It's funny how everyone, right? In 2006, he vacated that. Menendez goes into it. Menendez had been serving as a House member. Yeah, I think he has been indicted a few times. I thought that as well, man. It's tough to keep track now, right? Isn't it a bummer that it's literally tough to keep track of it a couple of times? I remember. And so maybe they finally got him this time. I'm not sure. But he was a House member from 1993 to 2006. He got put in the Senate in 2006. And this is where things get bonkers, man. So the Senate, Senate's a six-year term, man. Those senators, they got it made, right? You win one election, you're in for six years. House members, two years. They keep it local. They make sure you're accountable to your local constituents in the House. And man, our founding fathers, they just were brilliant on so many fronts in terms of making sure that the House members have to run so often. You got the Senate. They're responsible for the state. They have a longer term in there. They both have equal powers in Congress. But so he has been a senator since 2006. And when you think about that, right, you're talking about the Senate in 2010, in 2012. But think about it. He got put in in 2006, was appointed to fill that Senate seat, and he got to be there for six more years, and he wasn't even elected. That's the stuff that doesn't feel right. And then he runs twice more, and then he got him chairing the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, okay? Now, he did chair the Senate Foreign Relations Committee once prior to where he is right now. He chaired that and he's been the chair again since 2021. But at a time when partisan politics are the worst in my lifetime, compromise is necessary, folks. And I think there are some things that we could all compromise on, and you got to get over the hurdle of the people that are controlling things. But term limits is probably one of them. And I don't know what those term limits are. And that's going to be a disagreement as well. But we've all seen it played out. We've seen it play out, unfortunately, Mitch McConnell, right? Having some issues, man. Hopefully, he is just healthy because it's really rough watching that play out. Geez, I'm losing her name. The woman from California that I should know who is struggling as well. And then, of course, you get the two gentlemen that are going to be running for president, Biden and Trump, that are very old as well. What I will say, Feinstein, thank you, Diane Feinstein. It's very difficult. The voters, the voters, I don't like when the government puts limits on who you can elect by talking about age. Because then everything becomes the people who write the rules. The voters got to have the most flexibility you can to keep democracy. So that's the tough part about putting age limits on something, okay? Now, you want to put an age limit of 95 on something, then we can probably get in business, right? But who says where that line is, right? We'll say, okay, 100 if you run for office. I think we'll all agree on that. What about 95? I think we'll all agree on that. What about 90? Maybe we'll agree on that. Who makes that line? Is it 85? Is it 80? Is it 75? Is it 70? One congressman I think was just talking about, or congresswoman saying maybe 75 would be the number. But that's always going to be a political tool, folks, okay? Because maybe you've got a 76-year-old running, okay? Who's a very youthful 76-year-old, and all of a sudden you've got Congress passing something saying you've got to be 75, right? The voters got to be able to vote and they have to be responsible for who they vote for. But I think term limits. Yeah, and that's the tough part, man. How do you get the people who are elected to put term limits on themselves? Well, you know how you do it? You hold them accountable, and that's the tough part of things. And it's, it all comes back to the voters. Yeah. It all comes back to the voters. So it's a tough one, man, but Menendez out there getting recharged, and he's been in the Senate for almost 20 years talking about three businessmen. We know it exists. It's very difficult to get in terms of actual indictments. And we'll see how that one plays out nonetheless politics, right? But yeah, keep your eye over term limits, man. We get some billboards on I-4 here in Florida and they lean a little conservative. But what I love is, is that they're talking about term limits. And I think that's something we can all agree on. And I think that's where the conversation has to go. Term limits and lobbying make some progress, you know? Make some progress on areas that we can we can all agree on. And I think voters, you know what? How do we get it done? You hold the people that you elect accountable. And that's the only way it happens. And don't get caught up in some of the garbage for lack of a better term that politics seems to get caught up in. One more segment, folks. We're coming back. We'll talk some options. Stay tuned. The Gold Report As a precious metal, gold is still king. It continues to hold the most effective safe haven and hedging properties across the global major trading hubs of the London OTC market, the US futures market, and the Shanghai Gold Exchange. The Gold Report Tom O'Brien publishes his weekly Gold Report every Monday morning for subscribers, consisting of coverage of the XAU, HUI, GDX, The Dollar, Bonds, The South African Rand, as well as 25 different mining equities with specific buy-sell recommendations. The Gold Report New subscribers get a 30-day money-back guarantee so you have nothing to risk. Subscribe to Tom O'Brien's Gold Report newsletter now at TFNN.com You might think that if you want to be successful at trading in the stock market, you're going to need a crystal ball. After all, it's impossible to predict the future, right? Like any endeavor in life, before you decide it's impossible, get some advice from the experts. You might find that it's not so impossible after all. For daily market overviews that give you direction on the key indices, selective stocks, and commodities, subscribe to the Opening Call newsletter at TFNN.com The Opening Call newsletter is written by Basil Chapman, creator of the trading methodology known as the Chapman Wave. The Chapman Wave up-down sequence gives you an edge in identifying price turns, finding the peaks and valleys in stock prices.  First-time subscribers also get a 30-day money-back guarantee. If you're not satisfied, let us know and you'll get a full refund within 30 days of signing up. TFNN.com Educating Investors Everything in the Universe is governed by the Fibonacci sequence. This mathematical principle is responsible for everything from the most aesthetically pleasing artwork to patterns in the stock market. To stay on top of stock patterns you can take advantage of, sign up for the Fibonacci 24-7 newsletter at TFNN.com When you subscribe, you'll get a weekly report from Veteran Day Trader Larry Pezzavento on stocks you need to pay attention to and you can trust Larry's analysis. After all, he's got five years' experience as a day trader. Larry will also provide daily charts, videos and data on the key markets that he's tracking. Expect notifications from Larry on market movement you need to act on at any time. First-time subscribers also get a 30-day money-back guarantee. If you're not satisfied, let us know and you'll get a full refund within 30 days of signing up. Subscribe to the Fibonacci 24-7 newsletter today. TFNN.com for more exciting investors. Don't forget you can listen to TFNN live on your mobile device 24 hours per day. Go to TFNN.com then hit Watch Tiger TV. That's TFNN.com then hit Watch Tiger TV. Come back folks, we got the S&Ps giving it up a bit. We might be negative by the time I get off the air in about three minutes from right now folks. S&Ps off by three points right now. NASDAQ 100 up by 58 you got the Dow rolling over 65 points in the Russell barely holding on to green territory right now. Great conversation going on in the Denman and this is what it's all about, right? In terms of how does this play out, right? How do you get something like that? Term limits. How do you get something like that? Young blood in there. How do you get nobody has all the solutions folks just keep working towards it. Don't give up. That's the truth of everything. It's a bummer for everybody in there that's so pessimistic man. Calling America a third world nation and a banana Republic. I feel bad for all of you because that's just not the truth and I don't know what you're watching, where your brain is. America is a great country folks. We're going to be just fine. Doesn't mean that we can't work towards progress, but don't get caught up in the rhetoric that so many seem to get caught up in to put it lightly. Think of our history in terms of where we are. All right. Jumping over to some options folks. Next Wednesday, we got our man, Teddy Kegstad. He is going to be doing a live webinar folks. Capitalize on time with calendar stock option spreads. This will be a 60 minute webinar. Teddy's going to be in there. Now this is a standalone product, okay? You're not signing up for a recurring subscription. You're not signing up for Teddy's Tiger Forex report, which I encourage you to check out as well. He puts out new issues every Monday and we've seen how important Euro, dollar, yen, yields, crude, which he talks about in the Tiger Forex report, but this is its standalone product. It's an hour-long webinar. What I always say to people is if you don't even trade options, right? Understanding how they trade is instrumental even to equity traders. The cost is $97 to attend. Talking about calendar spreads and he's going to be in there talking about how to trade stock and other market movements without large capital allocations, okay? And I mean there's a number of things you can go over there. Check it out folks. That's today right after my dad's program from four till 5pm Eastern time. It will be archived if you can't attend live. And this is one strategy in particular that I struggle to wrap my brain around completely. And so I'm looking forward to it myself. Teddy will be in there next Wednesday. Check it out. It's only $97 folks. Thanks so much for starting your Friday off me. Folks, stay tuned. We got Basil coming up next. We got the Auto Workers Press conference beginning right now. Lots of market action folks. Have a great weekend.


You've finished your TEFL course, now what? One of the biggest challenges facing any teacher wanting to work abroad, is ensuring they become TEFL certified. Securing the qualification will open up the door for a wealth of fresh opportunities around the world, finally giving you the chance to live out your teaching dreams in a new country or continent. But now that you've finished your TEFL course, now what? With the course work out of the way, now is the time to start putting together your plan for how you can use your new certificate. We've put together a list of essential things to do, in order to make the most of your long held ambitions. Plan your move to another country. Thinking about and actually moving to another country, are two completely different things.  Even though you've gone to the expense of becoming TEFL certified, you still need to be sure this is the right move for you. How will you overcome the language barrier outside of work? The change in food and culture? Moving away from friends and family? Teaching abroad can be one of the best choices you'll ever make in your career, and it can offer wonderful rewards, but just be sure you are ready for the changes ahead. Think about where you'd like to teach. Now that you're sure you're going to enjoy the many benefits of teaching abroad, you need to think about where you'd like to teach. Making a TEFL certificate on your CV will create a whole world of new opportunities for you to explore. Asian countries like China and Singapore, feature a host of international schools that are constantly looking for TEFL qualified teachers, with strong salary packages to match. Likewise schools in Middle Eastern countries such as Qatar and Saudi Arabia, want the next generation to be English literate as the countries open up to the world like never before. Also consider the travel requirements needed for your preferred location. For example if you apply for work in Dubai, you will need to secure residency before you can get a work permit. Whereas China need you to have a passport from a certain list of countries. And if you apply for jobs in Japan, you are required to be living in the country beforehand. What do you want to achieve? Everyone has their own goals and ambitions, and this also has to be taken into consideration. For example, are you looking to live in another country long term and settled down for a number of years aiming for promotion? Or do you want to use the TEFL certification as a passport to explore as many different countries as possible, working on short term contracts or as a supply teacher? Of course you could arrive in another country, and have a change of heart and set new goals at any time, but before jumping onto a plane, it makes sense to have an initial idea of why you are going there, and what you'd like to achieve. Some questions you can ask yourself include, what is your minimum salary, taking into account conversion rates? Can you afford to live in the city or country you ideally want to work in? Are you looking for a 9-5 pm job, or evenings, or weekends? Would you be willing to work remotely? What age group do you want to teach? Do you want to work in a city based school or something more rural? Would you consider private tuition? If you're looking for a job, why don't you start looking for a job abroad? Your TEFL provider may be able to connect you with some tips on how to find a teaching job abroad. Take advantage of any job hunting guidance they can offer, as you can use their experience to fast-track your search, and ensure you make the right choices for your career. If the TEFL provider isn't able to offer that sort of assistance, you can start searching online. Finding a good quality job board, that offers new opportunities in a variety of ways, is easy. Then you can narrow down your search by country and subject, making your search more focused. General Google searches will produce a lot of results, although it's easy to get lost in the many pages it will throw up, and it can be difficult to tell which board is up-to-date and offering reliable information. You may already have a clear idea about the country you want to work in. For example if you want to teach in New Zealand, articles like this will help you decide about what to expect. Or anyone thinking of working in Singapore should look for articles that explain more about the country and your earning potential. Prepare for interviews. You've set yourself on traveling abroad, are now fully qualified, completed your research and identified your goals, now you need to prepare for potential interviews. It almost goes without saying your TEFL qualification needs to be added to the CV, and positioned prominently for recruiters to see. If you want to add a few new skills to your resume, then you could look at taking on digital literacy or cultural responsive teaching courses, that will sharpen your teaching skills abroad even further. And it's not just your CV that may need to be updated and more focused. What you have on paper has to be sold in person during the interview process. Not everyone feels comfortable during the interview process, and even the most experienced can get flustered and nervous, especially if it is a bigger opportunity. Knowing how to interview well is an important, and one that takes a little while to master. If you feel you need to improve in this area, maybe run through trial questions and answers with a friend or family member. There is also a wealth of resources available online that can provide good techniques, that can improve the way you talk about yourself, and the roles you apply for in interviews. Do you want to teach English abroad? Take a TEFL course. If you liked this video, please subscribe by clicking that button down here, and click on any of the videos here on the left for more interesting teaching tips for getting certified to teach English abroad and online.


Mojamao, ari kwa ni jirani yangu, ambae ni meishinareza hidi ya miyakakumi, na jirani wuyo ndi ari kwa nani kata mekono yangu, aki sa hidi ya na wenzake. Ari kata mkono wangu wa kwanza wa kureya, ari kwa maliza kwa arushia wenzake, kisha kwanza kukata na mkono wangu wa kushoto. Ari kwa kini kata hukwa kini, aki ni ambia, ni niya manze, ni kaya kimiya, kwa wana sema kwa wawa na itajimi kono tu, hawai itajiki tu kingini. Na pukata na wangu. We must be very clear that our core concern here is with harm, not belief. It's with deeds first, not thoughts. And with cruel, tangible costs, exacted physically and mentally against those who are ultimately victims actually of discrimination, of bigotry, of state failure. I got accused over, and I got accused of being a witch. It actually changed me a lot just how to see how your own person, your own blood relate, they can want to kill you and want nothing to do with you. Religious, ruthless religious entrepreneurs are making of this a commercial enterprise. And they are left by the state so often free to turn people's fear into callous profit. We need more robust state-led responses, we need judicial systems to act. Today, more often, they don't take coherent effort to prevent, investigate or prosecute human rights abuses leading to witchcraft.