That's the theme from the Sears Radio Theatre. Tonight's story is a comedy with Andy Griffith as your host. Here's a preview. The plan is to abscond to DC-10. Now on the bed here are four perfect copies of Browning Automatic Rivals, which were made for little children to practice your warfare bank jobs and other types of maneuvers, including the classic contract and hit job. They look good. The Sears Radio Theatre will begin after this message from your local station. Hello, I'm Stan Martin. It's sad that many youngsters feel the only way they can make their mark on our town is with a destructive act or a smear of graffiti. One building on New York's Lower East Side stands apart from the others. Its walls are spotless inside and out. The youngsters who work and play there have earned the respect of the entire city just as they've learned to respect themselves. I'm talking about the Boys Brotherhood Republic. The BBR has been helping underprivileged boys work their way out of the slums for almost 50 years. By giving them the responsibility of governing and policing themselves, the BBR helps create a set of values which guide its members all their lives. I know because I was a member from the time I was 6, and the BBR helped change my life. It's doing the same right now for hundreds of youngsters with no other place to turn but the streets. Help the BBR turn out solid citizens. Please send whatever financial support you can to the Boys Brotherhood Republic, 888 East 6th Street, New York 1009. Thank you.  Sorry, fella, I only give it the office. I'm not looking for a handout. What can I do for you? Help save my life and breath. Do you need mouth-to-mouth breathing? I'm not the type. No, but you're smoking, and your smoke is hitting me where I breathe. And what with an allergy and pollution, you're not helping any. Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you. Sure, but the fact is that your smoke is getting in my eyes and nose and throat, and that's not a good song for my lungs. Well, you could always move away. I do, and then there's another one puffing away in my face. How about a deal? Like the Lung Association says, smoke if you must, but make smoking a private affair. Or quit. Second-hand smoke is truly offensive for non-smokers. Well, I'll give it a try. Wish you would. Otherwise, they're going to hang a tag on you. A tag?  Gotcha, buddy. Now, about that handout. Save it. Let me give you one. Your Lung Association says that giving up smoking is a matter of life and breath. This is Andy Griffith. Jail is a word that puts fear into most people. No one wants to go to jail, but there's a special kind of person who becomes accustomed to the confinement and the society. He finds a home in jail. He has a social life and welcomes spare time as moments of contemplation and reverie. On the other hand, some people never really like being in stir, as they say, and sooner or later become restless, thinking of the day they're going to get out. To do what? Well, that depends on the man. For some folks, it's just impossible to conceive of doing anything, honestly. All right. Clear the gates. Lock them up. I have given it a lot of thought lately. I really hate being in this joint. Yeah, boy, we've been locked up in this slammer for three years. That's the first time I ever heard you complain.  I have always been a doer. Oh, yeah? What have you done lately? Time, my dear Sid. Time. But it has been constructive time. I'm getting out two years earlier than I was supposed to because I'm a doer. I always do a little extra. That's why I'm a trustee. That's why I'm well-liked.   Just because we're getting out at the same time, you know. Listen, I've been working on an idea that's foolproof. The last idea you had was foolproof, and here you are doing time.  If everybody stopped trying just because they made mistakes, no one would ever play to horses. Nothing in the numbers racket would add up. And if you think about it, isn't the whole confidence industry based on trial and error? All right, all right. What's the plan? Not till you swear you would be. What is it? I promise I won't tell. You like aeroplanes? Yeah, I ain't got nothing against them. That's good. Because we're gonna hijack an aeroplane, a DC-10. And that's only the beginning of our story. Sears, where America shops for value. And now, a special message of interest to shoppers across America from Sears. Everybody has been talking about inflation. Well, here's what Sears is helping to do about it. Starting the 1st of May, all prices in Sears Spring General Catalog will be reduced 5%. This means a discount of 5% will automatically be taken off the price of anything and everything you order from the Spring General Catalog between May 1st and July 31st, 1979. Also beginning in May, Sears retail stores across the nation will reduce their regular price of selected items, which means you can expect even greater values. In addition, for limited periods of time, Sears will sharply reduce the price on scores of items in our retail stores. Watch for these Sears supervalues on TV, radio, in magazines, and your local paper, and you'll benefit from price cuts each month. If everyone wants to control inflation, these are some of the ways Sears is helping to do it. Sears, where America shops for value. Sears wants to break the ice when it comes to buying a Kenmore refrigerator. So we're taking $50 to $100 off three models through June 30th. You save $100 on the 19 cubic foot side-by-side and $70 on the 17 cubic foot top freezer refrigerator. Both have automatic ice makers and Sears exclusive huma drawer. You save $50 on a Kenmore 17 cubic foot refrigerator freezer without ice maker. All are frostless. Kenmore, solid as Sears. Dates may vary in Alaskan, Hawaii. At most larger Sears retail stores. It looks like what we have here is the seed of an interesting venture. And it would be inaccurate to say that our partners are totally unsuited for the work. Although the investment in this enterprise seems negligible. Well, wait. We're going to find out how big enterprise is started with very little capital. Now the toughest part is going to be getting the guns through the security gate at the airport. Yeah, but where are we going to find guns that look real? Are you kidding? You're going to any toy store in this U.S. and take your pick. They got your 1932 Tommy Gun, your World War II Luger, your Browning automatic, whatever you could wish. Yeah, but do they look real? Real. Do Dobomins have pinches? Hmm. They're copied from the genuine article. Don't ask me. I ain't been to a toy store since I was 32. Of course. We buy the toys legit. You weren't thinking I'd do a heist on a toy store. What kind of person do you think I am? Well, I just want to make sure that's over. Like, I knew you wouldn't want to use no real guns. Sure. Who wants to hurt anyone? I'm an engraver. I create places that print money. I can make a buck without violence. Well, of course. You are, after all, an artist. And that is which we are speaking. We're going to take those plastic guns apart and remove all the springs and metal and stuff inside. Then they won't trip the alarms on the X-rays when we walk through the security gate. You know, I'm beginning to think you've got a fine criminal brain. Well, perhaps you overestimate me. But for the past two years, I have been nesting in this cage like a rooster waiting to lay an egg. And I think, my dear Sid, the time has come. I'm not sure I'd like this end of the business. When we passed that guy at the desk downstairs in the lobby, I started to get nervous. For what? Why do you get nervous for? I don't know. I just felt that desk clerk guy suspected something when we asked for the key. We ain't done nothing. The only thing he could suspect is that we'd get off on toy guns. Look, forget it, will you? Let's just get to work. Now, after we take the metal out of the guns, we've got to cut them up in sections and put holes and pegs in them so we can fit them together again in one piece. Yeah, I can do that. And, Sid, since you want to engrave something, take any rough marks off the plastic and make them look like real steel. No problem. It'll be fun. Yeah, you see, now you're getting into the spirit. Just remember, you're not working on money. Don't engrave a picture of Andrew Jackson on the guns. Oh, come on, Al. What do you think I am? Well, you know. In my line of work, we don't make mistakes like that. Speaking of mistakes, what about those two other guys? How do you know we can trust them? Anyone I bring into this, my dear Sid, will be like family, I promise you. They'll be here any minute. Let me tell you. Waxie is a lock and key man the best. Yeah.  Some nitro went off before it was supposed to and shook up his head a little bit. Yeah. Well, what do we need a lock and key man for? What are you talking? He's the best. Just don't let on, you know he's punchy. You see, that's the psychology I was telling you about. Waxie, you just got to get used to the idea that if you knock on the door, somebody might not be home. But he's a good guy. Yeah, who else you got? It's a surprise. I don't like surprises. You see. The last time somebody said surprise, he was wearing blue with gold buttons and I got five years. Would I lie? Yeah. Here you are now. Here you are now. Waxie, Madam Kosnevsky, come in. Sid, I want you to meet Madam Olga Kosnevsky. Hello. A dame, a female, a lady, a doll. Wow! With exciting menswear and popular accessories, we've got quite a lineup of values, each a sure winner for dad, buying complete looks, he'll wear to work out to dinner to the tennis court or the baseball game. Plus extras from ties to t-shirts, robes to wallets, underwear, basics to belts. We've hit all the bases and prices you'll like. So put dad on Sears Father's Day team and he'll know you're no rookie when it comes to gift selection. My dad's power hungry because he's anxious to tackle new projects with power tools for Father's Day. At Sears, find super values in a craftsman reversible drill, saber saw with manual scroller and dual action pad sander, each at $20 savings, now just $29.99. And check Sears heavy duty router with case at $43 savings, based on regular separate prices in Sears current power hand tool catalog. So this Father's Day let craftsmen satisfy your power hungry dad while you save money at Sears. Prices may vary in Alaska and Hawaii. Nothing but the best for my dad. Like Sears best double knit slacks on sale for Father's Day. Regular cut slacks are just $13.99. That's $4 off. Choose popular solids and refined patterns in wrinkle resistant double knit for trail polyester. Top off his day with Sears best short sleeve knit sports shirts. Also at $4 off, now just $9.99. It's Sears best for the best guy I know, dad. Sale ends June 16th. Prices and dates may vary in Alaska and Hawaii. All items available at most larger Sears retail stores. Quartet of curious people have gathered together in a sleazy hotel room in downtown Los Angeles. Their plan? An absolutely outrageous scheme for a hijack, a DC-10. But what? Wow, what a beautiful tomato. Pardon, Sid, Madam Olga. He's a little rough. But I like rough. Yeah, he got that way from rubbing up against cell blocks. Cute. Cute. And Sid, this is oil bearing known in the field as waxy. Yeah, they call me waxy because I make a good impression. Oh boy, that's a good one. You get it, Sid? Yeah, that's all right. He's the best, Sid. Give the man a lock and a piece of wax and voila, he comes up with a key. Who needs it? What was that? Sid, he's an engraver, waxy. Will you cool it, Sid? An engraver, huh? What's an engraver? A Sid specializes in $20 plates. I'll just as soon spend the money on a fool to forget what the plate costs. You get it? This guy's a casket full of laughs. Roll with it. Will you, Sid, just roll with it? What's your racket, Olga? What I mean is... Olga's a driver, Sid, a wheel person. She drove the getaway car in the second national bank caper in 1973. I knew a guy in that job, Joey the Jinx. Everybody got caught. Because it wasn't planned good. We had 1950 diesel automobile. Took me 10 minutes to get up to 55 miles an hour. And most of those guys are still in the can. But they never took me. As the police approached, I quickly tore my clothes and began to weep bitterly. You can cry just like that? Of course. Russians can cry tragically almost immediately. Oh, beautiful. Okay, all right. Now, look, we're all together now, so let me explain why we're here. I have already told Sid that the plan is to abscond to DC-10. Now, on the bed here are four perfect copies of Browning automatic rifles, which were made for little children to practice your warfare bank jobs and other types of maneuvers, including the classic contract and hit job. Oh, yeah, they look good. Well, of course, they do wax. The details were engraved by a professional, and by the time Sid has finished working on them, we will be able to take them apart and put them together in 10 or 15 seconds. Now, to get on a plane, we take all the pieces, put them in this foam rubber bag, and place it, excuse me, Madam Olga, with the garment of this little lady, thus giving everybody, including the security people and disturbances, the idea that Madam Kosnevsky is in a slightly family way. Plastics also will not blow the whistle on us when Madam Kosnevsky walks through the security gate. It does not register on the X-ray machines or cause it to make funny squeaking noises. Now, when we get over the Grand Canyon, I will give the signal, and Madam Olga here will go to the person's room and lock the door. The person's room? Formerly the lady's room. What do you mean, formerly? I mean that you can't say ladies or men or more. It ain't proper. You're kidding. Look, anyway, Madam Olga is in the person's room, and she unloads all those plastic gun parts, assembles them, and brings them back to her seat in the shopping bag. Wents, I will hand them out. Hey, hey, when are you going to tell us to plan now? What? What do you think of it? What are you telling? So far everything is perfect. Madam Olga, you look terrific. Yeah, I love mutters to be. It's very degrading. In my country, only peasants become pregnant. I'd like to say in the movies, I rate this mother-to-be PG. Plastic guns. Zero on a scale of two. I keep calm, Sid, will you? Okay, everybody, so here's the plan again. Everybody takes his own ticket and sits as close to each other as you can. Waxy will keep the ear from from the walkie-talkie in his ear so he can hear me from the front of the plane. Now, when I give the signal, Waxy and Madam Olga will go to the restroom in the rear where Madam Kosniewski will have her baby of plastic parts and emerge there from with the four assembled heaters which she will put in separate bags. Okay, so far? Okay. Now, from my own experience in the past, when the pilot makes the announcement of the land canyon, the passengers will go crazy. Sleeping people automatically reach for their cameras, mutters, lifts, screaming babies to the window. Yeah, but baddies. Three hundred people will be pushing at each other just to get a peek through the window at a hole in the ground. All the relief stations will then be empty and it is at this time that we make our move and take over the airship. Yeah, where do we get rid of the people? I gotta leave that to the pilot. We'll go somewhere in the desert and let all the people go except one pilot and then we'll take off. And then we'll give a location so a rescue plane can come and get all them people out of there. Passengers for inter-ocean flight 311 to New York, now loading at gate 14. Passengers for inter-ocean flight to Kennedy Airport, New York City, now loading at gate 14. Please have your boarding passes ready. That's us. Well, my dears, we are barking up on great adventure and as they say in the flying trade, we must rise to the occasion. For like Jonah, we walk into the stomach of the whale. Today we make history so forward, on, up, up. No, no, no, wait, wait just a minute. Sydney, we must go. The time has come. I ain't gone nowhere till I find out what's going on here. So everything goes like it's supposed to. So we are now all alone. No passengers. We left them in the desert. We're 100 miles away up in the air. Now what?  My lord, I neglected to put the cap on the toothpaste. I mean, where are we going? Why are we doing this? I'm glad you have asked that question since I am sure it is popped up from time to time in the minds of you all. We are going to land this airplane outside of Union City, New Jersey. What's playing in Union City, New Jersey? That's the location where we take the airplane apart and put it neatly into small piles. What? We are going to sell this big bird to my uncle Bernard for scrap metal. We're going to junk 120 tons of airplane. That is correct. And for your information, my dear colleagues, scrap aluminum is now selling for 80 cents a pound wholesale. We're about to become millionaires! Sears Radio Theatre will continue after this message from your local station. The American Cancer Society. I came across some puzzling facts I think you'll be interested in. It happens that around the world there's very little cancer of the esophagus. And yet in China and a few other places, the rates for this disease are not only high, they're the highest of any tumor. Why should that be? And why is it that Japanese women are at much lower risk of getting breast cancer than American women? So far, no definite answers for these questions. But answers to these and puzzlers like them are important in cancer research. Even more important, those answers could lead to saving more lives from cancer and sometimes help prevent the disease from happening at all. That's why this research must continue. This research and other vital research that can help the biggest puzzle of all, the answer to cancer. By giving to the American Cancer Society, please give generously. Remember, it's your American Cancer Society. You've changed, Bernard. You're not the man I married. What do you mean, Francine? Remember the way you were, vulnerable. You made mistakes. But now look, you're confident. Everything you do turns out right. It's that book you set away for. It's just a catalog from the Consumer Information Center. It lists more than 200 federal publications you can send for on building, fixing, eating, buying, selling, working, playing, living. And more than half of them are free. Yes, Francine, the man you married is gone for good. All right, Bernard. But would you make just one more mistake for all time's sake? All right. For you, I'll just replace that window glass like I used to. Whatever you do, learn to do it better. Send for your free catalog. Just write Consumer Catalog, Pueblo, Colorado, 8109. Francine, send for their publication on first aid. What was that address? Pueblo, Colorado, 8109. It's so strange a combination of incompatible humanity would find it impossible to turn and change the path of a DC-10 filled to the edges with unwilling hysterical people. But evidently, everything has gone well for the quartet because as our airship bids farewell to the Grand Canyon, heading east, Al and Sid are in the cockpit, holding the entire crew and one stewardess at plastic gunpoint. Unit 1 to Unit 2, do you copy? I am Unit 2. This is Olga. Do you copy? Do I copy what? Do you read me? What are you, a book? I should read you. Come down, Madam Olga. I only wanted to know if you're all right back there. Unit 1, you there? Yeah. Hey, this is Flynn. Hello? Testing 1, 2, 3. Boy, this is terrific radio. Sure, kid. Do you want to say hello?  Do you mind? You guys will never get away with this. You just drive. Hey, get your hands on the wheel.  I'm an automatic pilot. It flies the aircraft better and more accurately than I can. However, it seems to me that anything of a technical nature would be considerably over your head.  How do you like that? I'm standing here with a heater that can turn your sky into Viltata and he talks to me fresh like that. Now, that is dumb. Now, it's my opinion that you had better do as requested by me else you'll be flying around without benefit of this here aeroplane if I make myself clear. Is that clear? Very well. What is it? I suppose you want me to head south for Cuba. That's where you're wrong, my flighty friend. We ain't going to know such place. First of all, I want you to land this plane the first chance you get in the middle of the desert.  You can't land a 120-ton plane on sand? You'll crack us up. Well, think about it. Because if you don't land this plane safely, where I tell you, you're going to have trouble trying to find a place to put your earphones. If you get my meaning. How's that, Sid? That's telling the male. Well, sure.  Do I make myself clear, fly boy?  He's not a very likable person, as he said. No, he sounds just like my father. Say, pilot, what's your name? I said, what's your name? Henderson. All right, Henderson, let's try to get along. Hey, you over there, can you fly this plane? I don't want you talking to my crew. Mr. Jones and Mr. Dunkel are my co-pilot and engineer. If you have anything to say, you say it to me. Fine, but it makes me very nervous when a person isn't respondent. Flight 311 out of Los Angeles. Position estimated 250 miles to... Hey, wait a minute! Who are you talking to? I'm giving our position, you jackass. Okay, all right. Just make sure you don't say anything or it'll get us into trouble. This is Olga, you need to. Yeah, come in, Olga. I am very unaccustomed to speaking with messes. One of the passengers wishes to know if I am acquainted with his cousin, Ivan Paskutnyak, in Vladivostok. Another wants me to call his brother in Yemapetrovsk. I tell them I am a young American, but they are calling me comrade. I'm becoming very nervous. Okay, I'll send Sid back there. Hold on. On what? What? What do I hold on? Where? Oh, Sid, would you go back there and see what's wrong and send her up here? I gotcha. Henderson, when I deem it safe, you will land this air vesicle. How would you know a safe landing place? Well, I will determine that based on information which you will supply to me, else I shall perforate your neck with this rifle like a lottery punch board. Who is it? It is I, Olga Kosniewski. Oh, she got here fast. Come on in, Olga. This is Captain Henderson and that other pilot and the engineer over there. They don't say anything. Well, I am reasonably happy to meet you. Oh, I'm very happy to meet you. Relax, Captain. You'll hurt your eyeballs.  Perhaps it was a good idea to come into cockpit. This pilot finds me very attractive. Oh, yes, indeed.  I don't want to ruin your life.  Hey, listen to what's going on here. A day walks in a room and all of a sudden we're in the middle of a corny movie. Hey, Sid, you okay? Yeah. It's just a happy-go-lucky group here. Everybody's singing. That's good, Sid. You know what Abe Lincoln once said? Always keep the work as happy. Tell the girls to pass out drinks back there and have one for themselves. This is the most disorganized operation I've ever seen. None of you knows anything about what you're doing. You realize, of course, you're going to go to jail for this. No one's ever stolen an airplane from our company. Oh, yeah? Well, who's going to tie this in you?  I was due to give my position 15 minutes ago. They're probably starting to look for us right now.  Do you imagine I'd assist you in this infamy? Hold my gun. I will change his mind. What are you going to do? A Russian sleeve job. A sleeve job? By firmly grasping the shoulders of the jacket. We very effectively shorten the sleeves. In a few moments, the pain is excruciating. Oh, you wouldn't do that to me. Why don't you play along, Anderson? We don't want to hurt nobody. Bring us down. This is preposterous. Miss, how did you ever get involved with these subhuman creatures? It is my fate. Of course they are beneath me, but it is the only way I can regain my fortune.  Bring us down, Anderson. You must do it, sweet boy.  Oh, you can see the difficulties. Okay, so it's full of cactuses. We're not flying a rubber balloon. What if we land on that road down there? There's nobody on it, and it goes on forever. I'm going to make an announcement to the passengers, and I hope you approve. This is your pilot. We hope you are all in your seats with your belts secured. The landing may be rough, but with every confidence you will follow the instructions of the cabin crew to ensure that you will all be able to disembark safely.  We're actually speaking. It's fine, Al. 10-4 over and out. Sid, how's your section? Everybody's where they're supposed to be, Al, but I got a problem. The seam on my gun is opening up, and it's busting apart in two pieces. Hold it together, Sid. A few more minutes, and we'll have everybody out of here. I want to express my gratitude to one and all for the way in which you contributed to this gorgeous caper. Genius, pure genius. Look, look, they're out of the window. The messes are raving to us in gratitude. Even the copilot and engineer are waving goodbye. What am I supposed to do without a copilot and engineer? It was my opinion, Henderson, that you were overstaffed. Those two guys never opened their mouth, so I don't know what we needed them for. Besides, you must be a terrific pilot. I happen to be an excellent pilot. Yeah, I figured you'd have to be. You really didn't spend your life up to now making friends. You got a miserable personality. Is that so? Yeah, that's so.  Now take off. We're going to New York. New York? Hey, why you don't sound me listening? Hey, pilot, this is so good. How come he doesn't sing with us?  Hey, hold it with that language. There's a lady present. Yeah, there is, and I've been looking at that lady for the past couple of hours. I say to Captain over there and Madam Algar are pretty sweet on each other. Well, I don't deny I find Miss Kuzniewski very attractive. You hear that, Al? What a stuff shirt. She's gorgeous, Henderson.  Yeah, I am very moved that you all love me so much. It makes me want to weep.  You are.  This entire experience might have been a nightmare if it weren't for you. You've turned it into a lovely dream. And for me, too. Life has changed for me. I no longer wish to disassemble this sweet aeroplane. You? No longer what? We were going to take this airship apart and sell it to Uncle Bernard in Union City for scrap metal. Hey, enough romance and over there. Where are we? What are those mountains down there? We should be somewhere over Pennsylvania. Inter-ocean flight 311, identifying VFP, heading at 1-6-0 and turning right. Vector to ILS runway.  We're in a flight pattern, fathead. There are probably 250 airplanes all around us. What? He says there are airplanes all around us. I could have told you that. There's been two outside our window for the past five minutes. What did you say? Just look outside. Well, for heaven's sakes, will you look at that? The Air Force has come to the rescue. Air Force? Hey, the guy in the plane is pointing down. I think he wants us to land. They got us, Al. We can't get out of this. Hey, look, look. There's two more out the left window. I ain't giving up, I tell you. You head right over there, Henderson. There, there, there. I'm pointing. I can't head into that fog bank. Olga, when I give the signal, I want you to remove Mr. Henderson's hat.  If we go into that soup, we'll be clear out into the Atlantic. It is of little importance to who we sell scrap aluminum to. We are not going to get caught. Turn right, Henderson, over to the Atlantic. When my brother was my age, being in style meant wearing old jeans and about a pound of dirt. But today, our skies are more sophisticated in our style. And that's why Sears has style works. You can pick up on the latest styles and jeans, tops, sweaters, and dress your clothes like vested suits. I can depend on the style workshop at Sears for just about everything to keep me looking great. And the prices? Pretty reasonable. My folks like that. Style works. Today, style's all in one place. At most larger Sears retail stores. It's Sears National Sporting Goods Week. Featuring super values like the Sears Best Hillary Family size tent. Now $50 off. Only $199.99. This is the tent tested and approved by the first man to conquer Mount Everest, Sir Edmund Hillary. It's 10 by 14 feet, sleeps eight adults comfortably, and most people can stand up anywhere inside. You save $50 on Sears Best Hillary Tent. Only $199.99 through June 16th. Prices and dates may vary in Alaska and Hawaii. Summer is the time to enjoy the most with the least, like jogging shorts cut up to there, and tops trimmed for action at Sears. Misses save 20% on tank tops. Only $4.80 each, and jogger shorts $3.99. Sale ends June 20th. Juniors run in for special purchases on colorful go with everything tube tops. $2.99 each. T-shirt tops are $3.99, and jogging racer shorts only $4.99. A special purchase, though not reduced, is an exceptional value. Prices and dates may vary in Alaska and Hawaii. Available at most larger Sears retail stores. Closely escorted by four fighter jets of the United States Air Force. Al, Sid, Olga, Waxie, and the unwilling pilot Henderson desperately head their hijacked DC-10 toward a blanket of fog over the Atlantic Ocean. Olga, it won't work, you know. You can't lose them in the fog. We're certainly being followed on a radar screen. Everyone knows exactly where we are. Your love for me could not be so strong, like you say. For why else would you want us to be captured by police eye? I could love you, Olga. I swear it, but what you're doing is madness. Of course it is madness. To be creative is madness. To take a chance with one's life is insanity. But it is madness that creates art, music, great discoveries of science. Oh, that's... Oh, that's... Why is it that the Air Force planes keep passing and circling around to the back of us? They're fighter planes and they're designed to go much faster. They're having a hard time keeping to our pace. It's very difficult for them to go this slowly. Aha, just as I thought. We will enter the fog very shortly. At that moment, you will cut your engine speed in half. We will go much slower than they are able, and it will drive them very easy. All right, madam, Olga. Nice going, madam, Olga. However, unless we are blessed by a miracle, we have just enough fuel to bring us about 100 miles away from the coast of Ireland. I like Ireland. Well, that's all right. In the middle of freezing cold Atlantic waters, I hope you guys can swim. How's it look, Anderson? I'm flying strictly by the seat of my pants. The seat of your pants, huh? Well, get the ants out of your pants. I don't like all this jumping around. Where did you learn how to steer this thing anyway? Well, this is fine. Flying in soup like this is always rough. This is marvelously depressing. It gives me the creeps. I don't like flying blind any more than any of you. What I'd like to know is where are we? I can't swim. I share your concern, old boy, but you took away my engineer. I've never flown one of these things without an engineer, and we're beyond the point of no return. All you gotta do is fake it. Fake it, Anderson, like Al says. Let's climb. Fly up where the sun always shines. Well, this is as good a time as any. Here goes. Hey! I don't see nothing. Hey, it's beautiful out there, and we're all alone. We lost them. Do not rejoice too soon, my friends. We are still in very big trouble. What do you say, Anderson? Will we make it to dry land? I don't know any more than you do. I suggest, however, that each of you finds a life preserver and learns how to use it. Incidentally, bring me one, too. What time is it? How long am I sleeping? I don't know, Wax. Boy, I sure could use some sleep myself.  How come you're not sleepy, Madam Olga? I have been watching the fuel supply. We are out of petrol. That's right. No matter where we are, we've gotta put down. You got any idea where we are? No, but shortly after we pulled above the clouds, we found ourselves a tailwind. I don't know if any of you were praying, but somehow or other, you got yourself a miracle. Make clear what you're talking. I don't believe in miracles. Hold it. We just lost engines one and three. I can't keep her in the air. Okay, this is it, Anderson. If you crack up the ship, I'll break your neck. I'll remember that. Hey, hey, what's going on? Where are we? I must have fell asleep.  We're going down. I think he's going too fast. I'm sorry you don't believe in miracles, Olga, my darling, because we need one right now. But you don't need miracles. You have yourself, sweet boy.  We could be over water, mountains, a forest. Worst of all, we might be in the middle of a city. Over this, you have no control, but for a few moments, you can be giant. The only gigantic thing about me now is the lump in my throat. Our sweet boy kissed me. Holy jeez, what's going on over there? That's no way to do it when we're condescending so fast. Come on, you two, cut that out. Olga, will you let him drive? Look, look what Olga's doing. She's smooching with the pilot. I think you'd better scrap yourself in, Olga. I'll be all right. Of course you will, darling. Does anybody see the ground? I can't see a thing. Keep your eyes open, everybody. I see something. It's dark down there, but I see something. Yes. Yes, I see it now. Hold on, everyone. I'm going to try to bring her down. Aren't you going too fast, Al? We'll be all right, Wax. He knows what he's doing. Oh, oh, well. Oh, boy. Hey, anybody, anybody alive? Al, are you okay? Yeah, I think so. Madame Olga, Waxy?  Madame Olga. I am alive, and the music you hear is the music all airplanes play when they are on the ground. It is impossible to turn it off. Hey, Al, I think we landed. Waxy, you're all right. Hey, look at us, guys. Look at us. We're all here. We made it. Where are we, Al? I don't know. Maybe the pilot knows. Hey, Henderson. Oh, that sweet boy is unconscious. Oh, that's terrible. Is he going to be okay? I was just getting out to hate him as much. You sure he's not just subconscious?  He will survive. Well, you take care of him, Alga. Come on, Sid, Wax. Let's go back and see if we can get that outside door open. Yeah, okay.  We had a lot of night pulling a job like this, you know? Yeah, here it is. To open door in case of emergency, break wire, and pull lever. All right, yeah. Okay, the wire's broken up. Here goes the handle. Close it, close it, close it. Why is she not like that? The door's wide open. I can't reach the handle. Who do you suppose they are? What do I know? All my life, I've been in New York or the joint. I think... I know, Sid, dear. We are in the twilight zone. Wow. Al, you think we're... I don't know. Hey, them is very cute dogs. They're not dogs, Wax. You think they are creatures of high intelligence? I don't know. Boy, it's funky out there. It's hard to see more than a few feet. Yeah, how many would you say there are? Oh, looks like hundreds. Hey, let me try something. We come in peace. Who are you? Are you all right in there? Did you hear that? We're okay. Everybody's fine. Where is your leader? How many of you are there? We are five human beings from the planet Oite. What place is this? You're outside of Ticehurst, Wardhurst, Sussex, TN5, 7AD. Al, I think he's trying to talk English. Yeah, not bad for an alien creature. Your plane is completely surrounded, and you are all under arrest. Hey, who do you think you are?  You're looking at sheep, you twit. Look down here. Hey, there's a guy down there with a heater. It's a real one. I'm Major James Levinson's smith of Her Majesty's forces. I have an automatic weapon trained upon you, so you will surrender immediately. What do we do, Al? He's carrying a piece, and he said, Her Majesty's forces, we can't fight her. There's nothing to fight, Sid. One man alone can surely be reasoned with. I can always talk to a single person, man to man. Yeah, you'll need a conference table, Al, because there are at least 50 guys out there now. Looks like the whole English army, and they all got machine guns. That's the way it is. The wheel of fortune spins, and where she goes is over your toes. Yeah, we should be getting some exercise, Al. Walk around the yard or something. Soon we've got to go back in our cell. It could be worse, my dear Sid. Come on, why don't you be like I? Occupy your mind. Here's a letter for you guys. It's a dress to both of you. Thanks, Fennigan. Hey, look, it's a letter from Olga. Oh, open it, have it. Open it. Here, I'll open it. My dear friends, I never had opportunity to thank you for getting me off hook with English police. They really believed I was only a passenger taken care of pilot. Henderson and I have been married, and are keeping low, because I am wanted in USA in 30 states. For this reason I have disguised myself in a now blonde bombshell. Henderson, good job, and we are buying little aeroplane. It is nice to go into our own business. We will be flying herbs and spices from Mexico to ships waiting off the coast of Florida and other places. If you ever need anything, I will be in touch. Always your partner, Olga Kuznevsky. Henderson. Oh, that's beautiful, ain't it? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Sid, did you ever wonder why the DC-10 job didn't come off? No. It's because we were unsuitable to our occupancies. We didn't know that we were being followed every inch and away by radar. What did we know about aeroplane hijacking? Yeah, so? So? So this, my dear Sid, did you know how much dough it takes to run this institution of correction? No, I got no idea. A hundred and twenty thousand bucks a week. And do you know where they keep the dough steps? I'll tell you where, lovely Sid, in the warden's office, in a safe. That's where. And the way I figure it. If we were to get a little... In seconds without leaving your bed. It's now possible with Sears new home control system. Get a feeling of added security thanks to the convenient command console that controls up to sixteen lights, lamps, or appliances from one location. This $39.99 console sends coded signals to lamp, wall, switch, or appliance modules available at $13.99 or $14.99 each. Prices may vary in Alaskan, Hawaii. Nothing but the best for my dad. Like Sears' best sports shirts, now just $9.99 save $4 on each. 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Radio Theater has been brought to you by Sears Robuck & Company, where our policy is satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Sears. Where America shops for value. Quartet in Nothing Flat was written by Shepard Menken, produced and directed by Fletcher Markel. Your host was Andy Griffith. Our stars were Shepard Menken, Jesse White, and Lillian Bayeth. Featured in the cast were Byron Kane, Dawes Butler, Jack Carroll, and Ivor Berry. The music for Sears Radio Theater was composed and conducted by Nelson Riddle. This is Art Gilmore speaking. The Elliott Lewis production of Sears Radio Theater is a presentation of CVI.


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