Part 1, Section 1 of Sanctuary This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Sanctuary by Edith Wharton. Part 1, Section 1 It is not often that youth allows itself to feel undividedly happy. The sensation is too much the result of selection and elimination to be within the reach of the awakening clutch on life. But Cate Orm, for once, had yielded herself to happiness, letting it permeate every faculty as a spring rain soaks into a germinating meadow. There was nothing to account for this sudden sense of beatitude, but was it not this precisely which made it so irresistible, so overwhelming? There had been within the last two months since her engagement to Dennis Payton no distinct addition to the sum of her happiness and no possibility she would have affirmed of adding perceptibly to a total already incalculable. Inwardly and outwardly the conditions of her life were unchanged, but whereas before the air had been full of flitting wings, now they seemed to pause over her and she could trust herself to their shelter. Many influences had combined to build up the center of brooding peace in which she found herself. Her nature answered to the finest vibrations, and at first her joy in loving had been too great not to bring with it a certain confusion, a readjusting of the whole scenery of life. She found herself in a new country wherein he who had led her there was least able to be her guide. There were moments when she felt that the first stranger in the street could have interpreted her happiness for her more easily than Dennis. Then as her eye adapted itself, as the lines flowed into each other, opening deep vistas upon new horizons, she began to enter into possession of her kingdom, to entertain the actual sense of its belonging to her. But she had never before felt that she also belonged to it, and this was the feeling which now came to complete her happiness, to give it the hallowing sense of permanence. She rose from the writing table where, list in hand, she had been going over the wedding invitations and walked toward the drawing-room window. Everything about her seemed to contribute to that rare harmony of feeling which levied attacks on every sense. The large coolness of the room, its fine traditional air of spacious living, its outlook over field and woodland toward the lake lying under the silver bloom of September, the very scent of the late violets in a glass on the writing table, the rosy mauve masses of hydrangea in tubs along the terrace, the fall now and then of a leaf through the still air, all somehow were mingled in the suffusion of well-being that yet made them seem but so much dross upon its current. The girl's smile prolonged itself at the sight of a figure approaching from the lower slopes above the lake. The path was a shortcut from the Peyton Place, and she had known that Dennis would appear in it at about that hour. Her smile, however, was prolonged not so much by his approach as by her sense of the impossibility of communicating her mood to him. The feeling did not disturb her. She could not imagine sharing her deepest moods with anyone, and the world in which she lived with Dennis was too bright and spacious to admit of any sense of constraint. Her smile was in truth a tribute to that clear-eyed directness of his, which was so often a refuge from her own complexities. Dennis Peyton was used to being met with a smile. He might have been pardoned for thinking smiles the habitual wear of the human countenance, and his estimate of life and of himself was necessarily tinged by the cordial terms on which they had always met each other. He had in fact found life from the start an uncommonly agreeable business, culminating fitly enough in his engagement to the only girl he had ever wished to marry, and the inheritance from his unhappy step-brother of a fortune which agreeably widened his horizon. Such a combination of circumstances might well justify a young man in thinking himself of some account in the universe, and it seemed the final touch of fitness that the mourning which Dennis still wore for poor Arthur should lend a new distinction to his somewhat florid good looks. Kate Horm was not without an amused perception of her future husband's point of view, but she could enter into it with the tolerance which allows for the unconscious element in all our judgments. There was, for instance, no one more sentimentally humane than Dennis's mother, the second Mrs. Peyton, a scented silvery person whose lavender silks and neutral tinted manner expressed a mind with its blinds drawn down toward all the unpleasantness of life. Yet it was clear that Mrs. Peyton saw a dispensation in the fact that her stepson had never married, and that his death had enabled Dennis at the right moment to step gracefully into affluence. Was it not, after all, a sign of healthy mindedness to take the gifts of the gods in this religious spirit, discovering fresh evidence of design in what had once seemed the sad fact of Arthur's inaccessibility to correction? Mrs. Peyton, beautifully conscious of having done her best for Arthur, would have thought it un-Christian to repine at the providential failure of her efforts. Dennis's deductions were, of course, a little less direct than his mother's. He had besides been fond of Arthur, and his efforts to keep the poor fellow straight had been less didactic and more spontaneous. Their result read itself, if not in any change in Arthur's character, at least in the revised wording of his will. And Dennis's moral sense was pleasantly fortified by the discovery that it very substantially paid to be a good fellow. The sense of general providentialness on which Mrs. Peyton reposed had, in fact, been confirmed by events which reduced Dennis's mourning to a mere tribute of respect, since it would have been a mockery to deplore the disappearance of anyone who had left behind him such an unsavory wake as poor Arthur. Kate did not quite know what had happened. Her father was as firmly convinced as Mrs. Peyton that young girls should not be admitted to any open discussion of life. She could only gather from the silences and evasions amid which she moved that a woman had turned up, a woman who was, of course, dreadful, and whose dreadfulness appeared to include a sort of shadowy claim upon Arthur. But the claim, whatever it was, had been promptly discredited. The whole question had vanished and the woman with it. The blinds were drawn again on the ugly side of things, and life was resumed on the usual assumption that no such side existed. Kate knew only that a darkness had crossed her sky and left it as unclouded as before. Was it perhaps, she now asked herself, the very lifting of the cloud, remote unthreatening as it had been, which gave such new serenity to her heaven? It was horrible to think that one's deepest security was a mere sense of escape, that happiness was no more than a reprieve. The perversity of such ideas was emphasized by Peyton's approach. He had the gift of restoring things to their normal relations, of carrying one over the chasms of life through the closed tunnel of an incurious cheerfulness. All that was restless and questioning in the girl subsided in his presence, and she was content to take her love as a gift of grace, which began just where the office of reason ended. She was more than ever today in this mood of charmed surrender. More than ever he seemed the keynote of the accord between herself and life, the center of a delightful complicity in every surrounding circumstance. One could not look at him without seeing that there was always a fair wind in his sails. It was carrying him toward her as usual at a quick, confident pace, which nevertheless lagged a little, she noticed, as he emerged from the beach-grove and struck across the lawn. He walked as though he were tired. She had meant to wait for him on the terrace, held in check by her usual inclination to linger on the threshold of her pleasures. But now something drew her toward him, and she went quickly down the steps and across the lawn. Tennis, you look tired. I was afraid something had happened. She had slipped her hand through his arm, and as they moved forward she glanced up at him, struck not so much by any new look in his face as by the fact that her approach had made no change in it. I am rather tired. Is your father in? Papa, she looked up in surprise. He went to town yesterday. Don't you remember? Of course, I'd forgotten. You're alone, then? She dropped his arm and stood before him. He was very pale now, with the furrowed look of extreme physical weariness. Tennis, are you ill? Has anything happened? He forced a smile. Yes, but you needn't look so frightened. She drew a deep breath of reassurance. He was safe after all, and all else for a moment seemed to swing below the rim of her world. Your mother, she then said, with a fresh start of fear? It's not my mother. They had reached the terrace and he moved toward the house. Let us go indoors. There's such a beastly glare out here. He seemed to find relief in the cool obscurity of the drawing room, where after the brightness of the afternoon light their faces were almost indistinguishable to each other. She sat down and he moved a few paces away. Before the writing-table he paused to look at the neatly sorted heaps of wedding cards. They are to be sent out to-morrow? Yes. He turned back and stood before her. It's about the woman, he began abruptly, the woman who pretended to be Arthur's wife. It started as at the clutch of an unacknowledged fear. She was his wife then? Peyton made an impatient movement of negation. If she was, why didn't she prove it? She hadn't a shred of evidence. The courts rejected her appeal. Well then? Well she's dead. He paused and the next words came with difficulty. She and the child. The child? There was a child? Yes. Kate started up and then sank down. These were not things about which young girls were told. The confused sense of horror had been nothing to this first sharp edge of fact. And both are dead? Yes. How do you know? My father said she had gone away, gone back to the West. So we thought, but this morning we found her. Found her? She motioned toward the window, out there, in the lake. Both? Both. She drooped before him shudderingly, her eyes hidden as though to exclude the vision. She had drowned herself? Yes. Oh, poor thing, poor thing! They paused awhile, the minutes delving an abyss between them, till he threw a few irrelevant words across the silence. One of the gardeners found them. Poor thing! It was sufficiently horrible. Horrible! Oh, she had swung round again to her pole. Poor Dennis, you were not there, you didn't have to. I had to see her. She felt the instant relief in his voice. He could talk now, could distend his nerves in the warm air of her sympathy. I had to identify her. He rose nervously and began to pace the room. It's knocked the wind out of me. I—my God, I couldn't foresee it, could I? He halted before her without stretched hands of argument. I did all I could. It's not my fault, is it? Your fault? Dennis. She wouldn't take the money. He broke off, checked by her awakened glance. The money? What money? Her face changed, hardening as his relaxed. Had you offered her money to give up the case? He stared a moment and then dismissed the implication with a laugh. No, no, after the case was decided against her. She seemed hard up and I sent Hinton to her with a check. And she refused it? Yes. What did she say? Oh, I don't know the usual thing, that she'd only wanted to prove she was his wife on the child's account, that she'd never wanted his money. Hinton said she was very quiet, not in the least excited, but she sent back the check. Kate sat motionless, her head bent, her hands clasped about her knees. She no longer looked at Peyton. Could there have been a mistake, she asked slowly? A mistake? She raised her head now and fixed her eyes on his with a strange insistence of observation. Could they have been married? The courts didn't think so. Could the courts have been mistaken? He started up again and threw himself into another chair. Good God, Kate, we gave her every chance to prove her case. Why didn't she do it? You don't know what you're talking about. Such things are kept from girls. Why whenever a man of Arthur's kind dies, such women turn up. There are lawyers who live on such jobs. Ask your father about it.  But if she wouldn't take your money.  When she found we meant to fight it, she saw the game was up. I suppose it was her last throw and she was desperate. We don't know how many times she may have been through the same thing before. That kind of woman is always trying to make money out of the heirs of any man who has been about with them. Kate received this in silence. She had a sense of walking along a narrow ledge of consciousness above a sheer hallucinating depth into which she dared not look. But the depth drew her and she plunged one terrified glance into it. But the child—the child was Arthur's? Then shrugged his shoulders. There again how can we tell? Why I don't suppose the woman herself. I wish to heaven your father were here to explain. She rose and crossed over to him, laying her hands on his shoulders with a gesture almost maternal. Don't let us talk of it, she said. You did all you could.  She let her hands lie where she had placed them without response or resistance. I tried, I tried hard to keep him straight. We all know that, everyone knows it, and we know how grateful he was, what a difference it made to him in the end. It would have been dreadful to think of his dying out there alone. She drew him down on a sofa and seated herself by his side. A deep lassitude was upon him, and the hand she had possessed herself of lay in her hold inert. It was splendid of you to travel day and night as you did, and then that dreadful week before he died. But for you he would have died alone among strangers.  Among strangers he repeated absently. She looked up as if struck by a sudden thought. That poor woman, did you ever see her while you were out there? He drew his hand away and gathered his brows together as if in an effort of remembrance. I saw her. Oh yes, I saw her. He pushed the tumbled hair from his forehead and stood up. Let us go out, he said. My head is in a fog. I want to get away from it all. A wave of compunction drew her to her feet. It was my fault. I ought not to have asked so many questions. She turned and rang the bell. I'll order the ponies. We shall have time for a drive before sunset. End of Part 1, Section 1 Part 1, Section 2 of Sanctuary. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Sanctuary by Edith Wharton Part 1, Section 2. With the sunset in their faces they swept through the keen-scented automare at the swiftest pace of Kate's ponies. She had given the reins to Peyton and he had turned the horse's heads away from the lake, rising by woody upland lanes to the high pastures which still held the sunlight. The horses were fresh enough to claim his undivided attention and he drove in silence.  Kate Horm was engaged in one of those rapid mental excursions which were forever sweeping her from the straight path of the actual into uncharted regions of conjecture. Her survey of life had always been marked by the tendency to seek out ultimate relations, to extend her researches to the limit of her imaginative experience. But hitherto she had been like some young captive brought up in a windowless palace whose painted walls she takes for the actual world. Now the palace had been shaken to its base and through a cleft in the walls she looked out upon life. For the first moment all was indistinguishable blackness. Then she began to detect vague shapes and confused gestures in the depths. There were people below there, men like Dennis, girls like herself, for under the unlikeness she felt the strange affinity, all struggling in that awful coil of moral darkness with agonized hands reaching up for rescue. Her heart shrank from the horror of it and then in a passion of pity drew back to the edge of the abyss. Suddenly her eyes turned toward Dennis. His face was grave but less disturbed. And men knew about these things. They carried this abyss in their bosoms and went about smiling and sat at the feet of innocence. Could it be that Dennis, Dennis even, ah no, she remembered what he had been to poor Arthur. She understood now the vague illusions to what he had tried to do for his brother. He had seen Arthur down there in that coiling blackness and had leaned over and tried to drag him out. But Arthur was too deep down and his arms were interlocked with other arms. They had dragged each other deeper poor souls like drowning people who fight together in the waves. Kate's visualizing habit gave a hateful precision and persistency to the image she had evoked. She could not rid herself of the vision of anguished shapes striving together in the darkness. The horror of it took her by the throat.  Peyton turned to her. The horses were climbing a hill and his attention had strayed from them. This has done me good, he began. But as he looked his voice changed. Kate, what is it? Why are you crying? Oh, for God's sake, don't!" he ended, his hand closing on her wrist. She steadied herself and raised her eyes to his. I—I couldn't help it, she stammered, struggling in the sudden release of her pent compassion. It seems so awful that we should stand so close to this horror that it might have been you who— I who—what on earth do you mean he broke in stridently? Oh, don't you see, I found myself exulting that you and I were so far from it, above it, safe in ourselves than each other, and then the other feeling came, the sense of selfishness, of going by on the other side, and I tried to realize that it might have been you and I who—who were down there in the night and the flood. Peyton let the whip fall on the pony's flanks. Upon my soul, he said with a laugh, you must have a nice opinion of both of us. The words fell chillingly on the blaze of herself immolation, which she never learned to remember that Dennis was incapable of mounting such hypothetical pires. He might be as alive as herself to the direct demands of duty, but of its imaginative claims he was robustly unconscious. The thought brought a wholesome reaction of thankfulness. Ah, well, she said, the sunset dilating through her tears. Don't you see that I can bear to think such things only because they're impossibilities? It's easy to look over into the depths if one has a rampart to lean on. What I most pity poor Arthur for is that, instead of that woman lying there so dreadfully dead, there might have been a girl like me so exquisitely alive because of him. But it seems cruel, doesn't it, to let what he was not add ever so little to the value of what you are? To let him contribute ever so little to my happiness by the difference there is between you? She was conscious as she spoke of straying again beyond his reach through intricacies of sensation new even to her exploring susceptibilities. A happy literalness usually enabled him to strike a shortcut through such labyrinths and rejoin her smiling on the other side, but now she became wonderingly aware that he had been caught in the thick of her hypothesis. It's the difference that makes you care for me then, he broke out with a kind of violence which seemed to renew his clutch on her wrist. The difference? He lashed the ponies again so sharply that a murmur escaped her and he drew them up quivering with an inconsequent steady-boys at which their back-lady ears protested. It's because I'm moral and respectable and all that that you're fond of me, he went on. You're simply in love with my virtues? You couldn't imagine caring if I were down there in the ditch as you say with Arthur? The question fell on a silence which seemed to deepen suddenly within herself. Every thought hung baited on the sense that something was coming. Her whole consciousness became a void to receive it. Dennis, she cried. He turned on her almost savagely. I don't want your pity, you know, he burst out. You can keep that for Arthur. I had an idea women loved men for themselves, through everything I mean. But I wouldn't steal your love. I don't want it on false pretenses, you understand. Go and look into other men's lives, that's all I ask of you. I slipped into it. It was just a case of holding my tongue when I ought to have spoken. But I—I—for God's sake don't sit there staring. I suppose you've seen all along that I knew he was married to the woman. End of Part 1 Section 2 Part 1 Section 3 of Sanctuary. The housekeepers reminding her that Mr. Orm would be at home the next day for dinner, and did she think he would like the venison with claret sauce or jelly, roused Kate to the first consciousness of her surroundings? Her father would return on the morrow. He would give to the dressing of the venison such minute consideration as, in his opinion, every detail affecting his comfort or convenience quite obviously merited. And if it were not the venison it would be something else. If it were not the housekeeper it would be Mr. Orm, charged with the results of a conference with his agent, a committee meeting at his club, or any of the other incidents which by happening to himself became events. Kate found herself caught in the inexorable continuity of life, found herself gazing over a scene of ruin lit up by the punctual recurrence of habit, as nature's calm stare lights the morrow of a whirlwind. Life was going on then, and dragging her at its wheels. She could neither check its rush nor wrench loose from it and drop out, oh how blessedly, into darkness and cessation. She must go bounding on, wracked, broken, but alive in every fiber. The most she could hope for was a few hours respite, not from her own terrors, but from the pressure of outward claims, the midday halt during which the victim is unbound while his torturers rest from their efforts. Till her father's return she would have the house to herself, and the question of the venison dispatched, could give herself to long, lonely pacings of the empty rooms and shuddering subsidences upon her pillow. Her first impulse, as the mist cleared from her brain, was the habitual one of reaching out for ultimate relations. She wanted to know the worst, and for her, as she saw in a flash, the worst of it was the core of fatality in what had happened. She shrank from her own way of putting it, nor was it even figuratively true that she had ever felt, under faith in Dennis, any such doubt as the perception implied. But that was merely because her imagination had never put him to the test. She was fond of exposing herself to hypothetical ordeals, but somehow she had never carried Dennis with her on these adventures. What she saw now was that, in a world of strangeness, he remained the object least strange to her. She was not in the tragic case of the girl who suddenly sees her lover unmasked. No mask had dropped from Dennis's face. The pink shades had simply been lifted from the lamps, and she saw him for the first time in an unmitigated glare. Such exposure does not alter the features, but it lays an ugly emphasis on the most charming lines, pushing the smile to a grin, the curve of good nature to the droop of slackness. And it was precisely into the flagging lines of extreme weakness that Dennis's graceful contour flowed. In the terrible talk which had followed his avowal, and wherein every word flashed a light on his moral processes, she had been less startled by what he had done than by the way in which his conscience had already become a passive surface for the channeling of consequences. He was like a child who had put a match to the curtains and stands a gate at the blaze. It was horribly naughty to put the match, but beyond that the child's responsibility did not extend. In this business of Arthur's, where all had been wrong from the beginning, where self-defense might well find a plea for its casuous trees in the absence of a definite right to be measured by, it had been easy after the first slip to drop a little lower with each struggle. The woman—oh, the woman—was well of the kind who prey on such men. Arthur, out there at his lowest ebb, had drifted into living with her as a man drifts into drink or opium. He knew what she was, he knew where she had come from, but he had fallen ill and she had nursed him, nursed him devotedly, of course—that was her chance, and she knew it. Before he was out of the fever she had the noose around him. He came to and found himself married. Such cases were common enough. If the man recovered he bought off the woman and got a divorce. It was all a part of the business—the marriage, the bribe, the divorce. Some of those women made a big income out of it. They were married and divorced once a year. If Arthur had only got well, but instead he had a relapse and died, and there was the woman made his widow by mischance as it were with her child on her arm, whose child, and a scoundrely blackmailing lawyer to work up her case for her. Her claim was clear enough, the right of Dower, a third of his estate. But if he had never meant to marry her, if he had been trapped as patently as a rustic fleeced in a gambling-hell, Arthur in his last hours had confessed to the marriage, but had also acknowledged its folly. And after his death, when Dennis came to look about him and make inquiries, he found that the witnesses, if there had been any, were dispersed and undiscoverable. The whole question hinged on Arthur's statement to his brother. Suppressed that statement and the claim vanished, and with it the scandal, the humiliation, the lifelong burden of the woman and child dragging the name of Peyton through heaven knew what deaths. He had thought of that first, Dennis swore, rather than of the money. The money, of course, had made a difference. He was too honest not to own it, but not till afterward he declared, would have declared on his honour, but that the word tripped him up and sent a flush to his forehead. Thus in broken phrases he flung his defence at her, a defence improvised, together as he went along, to mask the crude instinctiveness of his act. For with increasing clearness Kate saw, as she listened, that there had been no real struggle in his mind. That but for the grim logic of chance, he might never have felt the need of any justification. If the woman, after the manner of such baffled huntresses, had wandered off in search of fresh prey, he might quite sincerely have congratulated himself on having saved a decent name and an honest fortune from her talons. It was the price she had paid to establish her claim, that for the first time brought him to a startled sense of its justice. His conscience responded only to the concrete pressure of fats. It was with the anguish of this discovery that Kate Horm locked herself in at the end of their talk. How the talk had ended, how at length she had got him from the room and the house, she recalled but confusedly. The tragedy of the woman's death and of his own share in it were as nothing in the disaster of his bright irreclaimableness. Once when she had cried out, you would have married me and said nothing, and he groaned back, but I have told you. She felt like a trainer with a lash above some bewildered animal.  The perplexed appeal of his gaze had almost checked her.  Who will hurt me? Till you have told the truth as openly as you lied. He started up ghastly with fear. I don't understand you. You must confess then, publicly, openly. You must go to the judge. I don't know how it's done. To the judge, when they're both dead, when everything is at an end, what good could that do, he groaned? Everything is not at an end for you, everything is just beginning. You must clear yourself of this guilt, and there is only one way to confess it, and you must give back the money. This seemed to strike him as conclusive proof of her irrelevance. I wish I had never heard of the money, but to whom would you have me give it back? I tell you she was a waif out of the gutter. I don't believe anyone knew her real name. I don't believe she had one. She must have had a mother and father. Am I to devote my life to hunting for them through the slums of California? And how shall I know when I have found them? It's impossible to make you understand. I did wrong. I did horribly wrong. But that is not the way to repair it. What is then? He paused a little escance at the question. To do better, to do my best, he said, with a sudden flourish of firmness, to take warning by this dreadful, obi silent she cried out and hid her face. He looked at her hopelessly. At last he said, I don't know what good it can do to go on talking. I have only one more thing to say. Of course you know that you are free. He spoke simply with a sudden return to his old voice and accent, at which she weakened as under a caress. She lifted her head and gazed at him. Am I, she said musingly? Kate burst from him, but she raised a silencing hand. It seems to me she said that I am imprisoned, imprisoned with you in this dreadful thing. First I must help you to get out, then it will be time enough to think of myself. His face fell and he stammered, I don't understand you. I can't say what I shall do or how I shall feel till I know what you are going to do and feel. You must see how I feel that I'm half dead with it. Yes, but that is only half. He turned this over for a perceptible space of time before asking slowly, Do you mean that you'll give me up if I don't do this crazy thing you propose? She paused in turn. No, she said, I don't want to bribe you. You must feel the need of it yourself. The need of proclaiming this thing publicly? Yes. He sat staring before him. Of course you realize what it would mean, he began at length. To you, she returned. I put that aside. To others. To you. I suppose so, she said simply. You seemed to take it very easily. I'm afraid my mother wouldn't. Your mother? This produced the effect he had expected. You hadn't thought of her, I suppose. It would probably kill her. It would have killed her to think that you could do what you have done. It would have made her very unhappy. But there's a difference. Yes, there was a difference. a difference which no rhetoric could disguise. The secret sin would have made Mrs. Peyton wretched, but it would not have killed her. And she would have taken precisely Dennis's view of the elasticity of atonement. She would have accepted private regrets as the gentile equivalent of open expiation. Kate could even imagine her extracting a lesson from the providential fact that her son had not been found out. You see, it's not so simple he broke out with a tinge of doleful triumph. No, it's not simple, she assented. One must think of others, he continued, gathering faith in his argument as he saw her reduced to acquiescence. She made no answer and after a moment he rose to go. So far, in retrospect, she could follow the course of their talk. But when, in the act of parting, argument lapsed into entreaty and renunciation into the passionate appeal to give him at least one more hearing, her memory lost itself in a tumult of pain, and she recalled only that when the door closed on him he took with him her promise to see him once again. Part 1 Section 4 She had promised to see him again, but the promise did not imply that she had rejected his offer of freedom. In the first rush of misery she had not fully repossessed herself, had felt herself entangled in his fate by a hundred meshes of association and habit. But after a sleepless night spent with the thought of him, that dreadful bridle of their souls, she woke to a morrow in which he had no part. She had not sought her freedom nor had he given it, but a chasm had opened at their feet and they found themselves on different sides. Now she was able to scan the disaster from the melancholy vantage of her independence. She could even draw a solace from the fact that she had ceased to love Dennis. It was inconceivable that an emotion so interwoven with every fiber of consciousness should cease as suddenly as the flow of sap in an uprooted plant. But she had never allowed herself to be tricked by the current phraseology of sentiment, and there were no stock axioms to protect her from the truth. It was probably because she had ceased to love him that she could look forward with a kind of ghastly composure to seeing him again. She had stipulated, of course, that the wedding should be put off, but she had named no other condition beyond asking for two days to herself, two days during which he was not even to write. She wished to shut herself in with her misery, to accustom herself to it as she had accustom herself to happiness. But actual seclusion was impossible. The subtle reactions of life almost at once began to break down her defenses. She could no more have her wretchedness to herself than any other emotion. All the lives about her were so many unconscious factors in her sensations. She tried to concentrate herself on the thought as to how she could best help poor Dennis, for love, in ebbing, had laid bare an unsuspected depth of pity. But she found it more and more difficult to consider his situation in the abstract light of right and wrong. Open expiation still seemed to her the only possible way of healing, but she tried vainly to think of Mrs. Peyton as taking such a view. Yet Mrs. Peyton ought at least to know what had happened. Was it not in the last resort she who should pronounce on her son's course? For a moment Kate was fascinated by this evasion of responsibility. She had nearly decided to tell Dennis that he must begin by confessing everything to his mother. But almost at once she began to shrink from the consequences. There was nothing she so dreaded for him as that anyone should take a light view of his act, should turn its irremediableness into an excuse. And this, she foresaw, was what Mrs. Peyton would do. The first burst of misery over she would envelop the whole situation in a mist of expediency. Brought to the bar of Kate's judgment she had once revealed herself incapable of higher action. Kate's conception of her was still under arraignment when the actual Mrs. Peyton fluttered in. It was the afternoon of the second day as the girl phrased it in the dismal recreation of her universe. She had been thinking so hard of Mrs. Peyton that the lady's silvery insubstantial presence seemed hardly more than a projection of the thought. But as Kate collected herself and regained contact with the outer world, her preoccupation yielded to surprise. It was unusual for Mrs. Peyton to pay visits. For years she had remained enthroned in a semi-invalidism which prohibited effort while it did not preclude diversion, and the girl at once devined a special purpose in her coming. Mrs. Peyton's traditions would not have permitted any direct method of attack, and Kate had to sit through the usual prelude of ejaculation and anecdote. Presently, however, the elder lady's voice gathered significance and laying her hand on Kate's, she murmured, I have come to talk to you of this sad affair. Kate began to tremble. Was it possible that Dennis had after all spoken? A rising hope checked her utterance, and she saw in a flash that it still lay with him to regain his hold on her, but Mrs. Peyton went on delicately. It has been a great shock to my poor boy. To be brought in contact with Arthur's past was in itself inexpressibly painful, but this last dreadful business, that woman's wicked act. Wicked, Kate exclaimed, Mrs. Peyton's gentle stare reproved her. Surely religion teaches us that suicide is a sin, and to murder her child. I ought not to speak to you of such things, my dear. No one has ever mentioned anything so dreadful in my presence. My dear husband used to screen me so carefully from the painful side of life. When there is so much that is beautiful to dwell upon, we should try to ignore the existence of such horrors. But nowadays everything is in the papers, and Dennis told me he thought it better that you should hear the news first from him. Kate nodded, without speaking. He felt how dreadful it was to have to tell you, but I tell him he takes a morbid view of the case. Of course one is shocked at the woman's crime, but if one looks a little deeper, how can one help seeing that it may have been designed as the means of rescuing that poor child from a life of vice and misery? That is the view I want Dennis to take. I want him to see how all the difficulties of life disappear when one has learned to look for a divine purpose in human sufferings. Mrs. Peyton rested a moment on this period as an experienced climber pauses to be overtaken by a less agile companion. But presently she became aware that Kate was still far below her and perhaps needed a stronger incentive to the ascent. My dear child, she said adroitly, I said just now that I was sorry you had been obliged to hear of this sad affair, but after all it is only you who can avert its consequences. Kate drew an eager breath. Its consequences, she faltered. Mrs. Peyton's voice dropped solemnly. Dennis has told me everything, she said. Everything? That you insist on putting off the marriage. Oh my dear, I do implore you to reconsider that. Kate sank back with the sense of having passed again into a region of leaden shadow. Is that all he told you? Mrs. Peyton gazed at her with arch-railery. All? Isn't it everything to him? Did he give you my reason, I mean? He said you felt that after this shocking tragedy there ought in decency to be a delay, and I quite understand the feeling. It does seem too unfortunate that the woman should have chosen this particular time, but you will find as you grow older that life is full of such sad contrasts. Kate felt herself slowly petrifying under the warm drip of Mrs. Peyton's platitudes. It seems to me the elder lady continued that there is only one point from which we ought to consider the question, and that is its effect on Dennis. But for that we ought to refuse to know anything about it. But it has made my boy so unhappy. The lawsuit was a cruel ordeal to him, the dreadful notoriety, the revelation of poor Arthur's infirmities. Dennis is as sensitive as a woman, it is his unusual refinement of feeling that makes him so worthy of being loved by you. But such sensitiveness may be carried to excess. He ought not to let this unhappy incident prey on him. It shows a lack of trust in the divine ordering of things. That is what troubles me. His faith in life has been shaken. And you must forgive me, dear child. You will forgive me, I know, but I can't help blaming you a little. Mrs. Peyton's accent converted the accusation into a caress, which prolonged itself in a tremulous pressure of Kate's hand. The girl gazed at her blankly. You blame me.  I only fear that your excessive sympathy with Dennis, your own delicacy of feeling, may have led you to encourage his morbid ideas. He tells me you were very much shocked, as you naturally would be, as any girl must be. I would not have you otherwise, dear Kate. It is beautiful that you should both feel so, most beautiful. But you know religion teaches us not to yield too much to our grief.  The living owe themselves to each other. And what had this wretched woman to do with either of you? It is a misfortune for Dennis to have been connected in any way with a man of Arthur Peyton's character. But after all, poor Arthur did all he could to atone for the disgrace he brought on us by making Dennis his heir. And I am sure I have no wish to question the decrees of Providence. Mrs. Peyton paused again and then softly absorbed both of Kate's hands. For my part, she continued, I see in it another instance of the beautiful ordering of events. Just after dear Dennis's inheritance has removed the last obstacle to your marriage, this sad incident comes to show how desperately he needs you, how cruel it would be to ask him to defer his happiness. She broke off, shaken out of her habitual placidity by the abrupt withdrawal of the girl's hands. Kate sat inertly staring, but no answer rose to her lips. At length Mrs. Peyton resumed, gathering her draperies about her with a tentative hint of leave-taking, I may go home and tell him that you will not put off the wedding. Kate was still silent, and her visitor looked at her with the mild surprise of an advocate unaccustomed to plead in vain. If your silence means refusal, my dear, I think you ought to realize the responsibility you assume. Mrs. Peyton's voice had acquired an edge of righteous asperity. If Dennis has a fault, it is that he is too gentle, too yielding, too readily influenced by those he cares for. Your influence is paramount with him now, but if you turn from him just when he needs your help, who can say what the result will be? The argument, though impressively delivered, was hardly of a nature to carry conviction to its hearer, but it was perhaps for that very reason that she suddenly and unexpectedly replied to it by sinking back into her seat with a burst of tears. To Mrs. Peyton, however, the tears were the signal of surrender, and at Kate's side in an instant she hastened to temper her triumph with magnanimity. Don't think I don't feel with you, but we must both forget ourselves for our boy's sake. I told him I should come back with your promise. The arm she had slipped about Kate's shoulders fell back with the girl's start. Kate had seen in a flash what capital would be made of her emotion. No, no, you misunderstand me. I can make no promise, she declared. The older lady sat a moment irresolute. Then she restored her arm to the shoulder from which it had been so abruptly displaced. My dear child, she said in a tone of tender confidence, if I have misunderstood you, ought you not to enlighten me? You asked me just now if Dennis had given me your reason for this strange postponement. He gave me one reason, but it seems hardly sufficient to explain your conduct. If there is any other, and I know you well enough to feel sure there is, will you not trust me with it?  Remember, no one should be condemned unheard. As Dennis's mother, I have the right to ask for your reason. My reason, my reason, Kate stammered, panting with the exhaustion of this struggle? Oh, if only Mrs. Peyton would release her. If you have the right to know it, why doesn't he tell you, she cried? Mrs. Peyton stood up, quivering. I will go home and ask him, she said. I will tell him he had your permission to speak. She moved toward the door with the nervous haste of a person unaccustomed to decisive action. But Kate sprang before her. No, no, don't ask him. I implore you not to ask him, she cried. Mrs. Peyton turned on her with sudden authority of voice and gesture. Do I understand you, she said?  My poor child, I needn't ask, for I know already. If he has offended you, and you refuse him the chance to defend himself, I needn't look farther for your reason. It is simply that you have ceased to love him. Kate fell back from the door which she had instinctively barricaded. Perhaps that is it, she murmured, letting Mrs. Peyton pass. Mr. Orm's returning carriage-wheels crossed Mrs. Peyton's indignant flight, and an hour later Kate in the bland candle-light of the dinner hour sat listening with practised fortitude to her father's comments on the venison. He had wondered, as she awaited him in the drawing-room, if he would notice any change in her appearance. It seemed to her that the flagellation of her thoughts must have left visible traces, but Mr. Orm was not a man of subtle perceptions save where his personal comfort was affected. Though his egoism was clothed in the finest feelers, he did not suspect a similar surface in others. His daughter, as part of himself, came within the normal range of his solicitude, but she was an outlying region, a subject province, and Mr. Orm's was a highly centralized polity. News of the painful incident he often used Mrs. Peyton's vocabulary had reached him at his club, and to some extent disturbed the assimilation of a carefully ordered breakfast. But since then two days had passed, and it did not take Mr. Orm forty-eight hours to resign himself to the misfortunes of others. It was all very nasty, of course, and he wished to heaven it hadn't happened to anyone about to be connected with him, but he viewed it with the transient annoyance of a gentleman who has been splashed by the mud of a fatal runaway. Mr. Orm affected under such circumstances a bluff and hearty stoicism as remote as possible from Mrs. Peyton's deprecating evasion of facts. It was a bad business, he was sorry Kate should have been mixed up with it, but she would be married soon now, and then she would see that life wasn't exactly a Sunday school story. Everybody was exposed to such disagreeable accidents. He remembered a case in their own family, O a distant cousin whom Kate wouldn't have heard of, a poor fellow who had got entangled with just such a woman, and having most properly been sent packing by his father had justified the latter's course by promptly forging his name, a very nasty affair altogether, but luckily the scandal had been hushed up, the woman bought off, and the prodigal, after a season of probation, safely married to a nice girl with a good income who was told by the family that the doctors recommended his settling in California. Luckily the scandal was hushed up. The phrase blazed out against the dark background of Kate's misery. That was doubtless what most people felt, the words represented the consensus of respectable opinion. The best way of repairing a fault was to hide it, to tear up the floor and bury the victim at night. Above all no coroner and no autopsy.  And his wife did she know what he had done? Mr. Orm stared. His moral pointed he had returned to the contemplation of his own affairs. His wife? Oh, of course not! The secret has been most admirably kept, but her property was put in trust, so she's quite safe with him. Her property? Kate wondered if her faith in her husband had also been put in trust, if her sensibilities had been protected from his possible inroads. Do you think it quite fair to have deceived her in that way? Mr. Orm gave her a puzzled glance. He had no taste for the by-paths of ethical conjecture. His people wanted to give the poor fellow another chance. They did the best they could for him. And he has done nothing dishonorable since? Not that I know of. The last I heard was that they had a little boy and that he was quite happy. At that distance he's not likely to bother us at all events. Long after Mr. Orm had left the topic, Kate remained lost in its contemplation. She had begun to perceive that the fair surface of life was honeycombed by a vast system of moral sewage. Every respectable household had its special arrangements for the private disposal of family scandals. It was only among the reckless and improvident that such hygienic precautions were neglected. Who was she to pass judgment on the merits of such a system? The social health must be preserved, the means devised were the result of long experience and the collective instinct of self-preservation. She had meant to tell her father that evening that her marriage had been put off, but she now abstained from doing so, not from any doubt of Mr. Orm's acquiescence. He could always be made to feel the force of conventional scruples, but because the whole question sank into insignificance beside the larger issue which his words had raised. In her own room that night she passed through that travail of the soul of which the deeper life is born. Her first sense was of a great moral loneliness, an isolation more complete, more impenetrable than that in which the discovery of Dennis's act had plunged her. For she had vaguely leaned then on a collective sense of justice that should respond to her own ideas of right and wrong. She still believed in the logical correspondence of theory and practice. Now she saw that, among those nearest her, there was no one who recognized the moral need of expiation. She saw that to take her father or Mrs. Payton into her confidence would be but to widen the circle of sterile misery in which she and Dennis moved. Yet first the aspect of life thus revealed to her seemed simply mean and base, a world where honour was a pact of silence between adroit accomplices. The network of circumstance had tightened round her and every effort to escape drew its meshes closer. But as her struggles subsided she felt the spiritual release which comes with acceptance, not connivance in dishonour, but recognition of evil. Out of that dark vision light was to come, the shaft of cloud turning to the pillar of fire. For here at last life lay before her as it was, not brave, garlanded and victorious, but naked, groveling and diseased, dragging its named limbs through the mud, yet lifting piteous hands to the stars. Love itself once thrown aloft on an altar of dreams, how it stole to her now, storm-beaten and scarred, pleading for the shelter of her breast. Love indeed, not in the old sense in which she had conceived it, but a graver austere presence, the charity of the mystic three. She thought she had ceased to love Dennis, but what had she loved in him but her happiness and his? Their affection had been the garden enclosed of the canticles, where they were to walk forever in a delicate isolation of bliss. But now love appeared to her as something more than this, something wider, deeper, more enduring than the selfish passion of a man and a woman. She saw it in all its far-reaching issues, till the first meeting of two pairs of young eyes kindled a light which might be a high-lifted beacon across dark waters of humanity. All this did not come to her clearly, consecutively, but in a series of blurred and shifting images. Marriage had meant to her as it means to girls brought up in ignorance of life simply the exquisite prolongation of wooing. If she had looked beyond to the vision of wider ties it was as a traveller gazes over a land veiled in golden haze and so far distant that the imagination delays to explore it. But now, through the blur of sensations, one image strangely persisted, the image of Dennis's child. Had she ever before thought of their having a child? She could not remember. She was like one who awakens from a long fever. She recalled nothing of her former self or of her former feelings. She knew only that the vision persisted, the vision of the child whose mother she was not to be. It was impossible that she should marry Dennis, her inmost soul rejected him. But it was just because she was not to be the child's mother that its image followed her so pleadingly. For she saw with perfect clearness the inevitable course of events. Dennis would marry someone else. He was one of the men who are fated to marry, and she needed not his mother's reminder that her abandonment of him at an emotional crisis would fling him upon the first sympathy within reach. He would marry a girl who knew nothing of his secret, for Kate was intensely aware that he would never again willingly confess himself. He would marry a girl who trusted him and leaned on him as she, Kate Horm, the earlier Kate Horm, had done but two days since. And with this deception between them their child would be born, born to an inheritance of secret weakness, a vice of the moral fiber, as it might be born with some hidden physical taint, which would destroy it before the cause should be detected. Well and what of it, was she to hold herself responsible, were not thousands of children born with some such unsuspected taint? Ah, but if here was one that she could save, what if she, who had had so exquisite a vision of wifehood, should reconstruct from its ruins this vision of protecting maternity, if her love for her lover should be not lost but transformed and enlarged into this passion of charity for his race? If she might expiate and redeem his fault by becoming a refuge from its consequences? Before this strange extension of her love all the old limitations seemed to fall. Something had cleft the surface of self and there welled up the mysterious primal influences, the sacrificial instinct of her sex, a passion of spiritual motherhood that made her long to fling herself between the unborn child and its fate. She never knew then or after how she reached this mystic climax of effacement. She was only conscious through her anguish of that lift of the heart which made one of the saints declare that joy was the inmost core of sorrow. For it was indeed a kind of joy she felt, if old names must serve for such new meanings, a surge of liberating faith in life, the old Cretoquia Absurdum which is the secret cry of all supreme endeavor. End of Part 1, Section 4. Part 2, Section 1 of Sanctuary. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Sanctuary by Edith Wharton. Part 2, Section 1. Does it look nice, mother? Dick Payton met her with the question on the threshold, drawing her gaily into the little square room and adding with a laugh with a blush in it, you know she's an uncommonly noticing person and little things tell with her. He swung round on his heel to follow his mother's smiling inspection of the apartment. She seems to have all the qualities, Mrs. Dennis Payton remarked, as her circuit finally brought her to the prettily appointed tea-table. All, he declared, taking the sting from her emphasis by his prompt adoption of it. Dick had always had a wholesome way of thus appropriating to his own use such small shafts of maternal irony as were now and then aimed at him. Kay Payton laughed and loosened her furs. It looks charmingly, she pronounced, ending her survey by an approach to the window which gave far below the oblique perspective of a long side street leading to Fifth Avenue. The high-perched room was Dick Payton's private office, a retreat partitioned off from the larger enclosure in which, under a north light and on a range of deal-tables, three or four young draftsmen were busily engaged in elaborating his architectural projects. The outer door of the office bore the sign, Payton and Gill architects, but Gill was an utilitarian person, as unobtrusive as his name, who contented himself with a desk in the workroom, and left Dick to lord it alone in the small apartment to which clients were introduced, and where the social part of the business was carried on. It was to serve on this occasion as the scene of a tea designed, as Kate Payton was vividly aware, to introduce a certain young lady to the scene of her son's labours. Mrs. Payton had been hearing a great deal lately about Clemens Verney. Dick was naturally expansive, and his close intimacy with his mother, and intimacy fostered by his father's early death, if it had suffered some natural impairment in his school and college days, had of late been revived by four years of comradeship in Paris, where Mrs. Payton in a tiny apartment of the Rue de Varene had kept house for him during his course of studies at the Beaux-Arts. There were indeed not lacking critics of her own sex who accused Kate Payton of having figured too largely in her son's life, of having failed to efface herself at a period when it is agreed that young men are best left free to try conclusions with the world. Mrs. Payton, had she cared to defend herself, might have said that Dick, if communicative, was not impressionable, and that the closeness of texture which enabled him to throw off her sarcasm preserved him also from the infiltration of her prejudices. He was certainly no night of the apron string, but a seemingly resolute and self-sufficient young man whose romantic friendship with his mother had merely served to throw a veil of suavity over the hard angles of youth. But Mrs. Payton's real excuse was, after all, one which she would never have given. It was because her intimacy with her son was the one need of her life that she had with infinite tact and discretion, but with equal persistency, clung to every step of his growth, dissembling herself, adapting herself, rejuvenating herself in the passionate effort to be always within reach, but never in the way. Dennis Payton had died after seven years of marriage when his boy was barely six. During those seven years he had managed to squander the best part of the fortune he had inherited from his step-brother so that at his death his widow and son were left with a scant competence. Mrs. Payton, during her husband's life, had apparently made no effort to restrain his expenditure. She had even been accused by those judicious persons who are always ready with an estimate of their neighbor's motives of having encouraged poor Dennis's improvidence for the gratification of her own ambition. She had, in fact, in the early days of their marriage tried to launch him in politics and had perhaps drawn somewhat heavily on his funds in the first heat of the contest, but the experiment ending in failure, as Dennis Payton's experiments were apt to end, she had made no further demands on his ex-checker. Her personal tastes were in fact unusually simple, but her outspoken indifference to money was not in the opinion of her critics, designed to act as a check upon her husband, and it resulted in leaving her at his death in straits from which it was impossible not to deduce a moral. Her small means and the care of the boy's education served the widow as a pretext for secluding herself in a socially remote suburb, where it was inferred that she was expiating on queer food and in ready-made boots her rash defiance of fortune. Whether or not Mrs. Payton's penance took this form, she hoarded her substance to such good purpose that she was not only able to give Dick the best of schooling, but to propose on his leaving harbour that he should prolong his studies by another four years at the Beaux-Arts. It had been the joy of her life that her boy had early shown a marked bent for a special line of work. She could not have borne to see him reduced to a mere money-getter, yet she was not sorry that their small means forbade the cultivation of an ornamental leisure. In his college days Dick had troubled her by a superabundance of tastes, a restless flitting from one form of artistic expression to another. Whatever art he enjoyed he wished to practice, and he passed from music to painting, from painting to architecture, with an ease which seemed to his mother to indicate lack of purpose rather than excess of talent. She had observed that these changes were usually due not to self-criticism, but to some external discouragement. Any depreciation of his work was enough to convince him of the uselessness of pursuing that special form of art, and the reaction produced the immediate conviction that he was really destined to shine in some other line of work. He had thus swung from one calling to another till at the end of his college career his mother took the decisive step of transplanting him to the Beaux Arts in the hope that a definite course of study, combined with the stimulus of competition, might fix his wavering aptitudes. The result justified her expectation, and their four years in the Rue de Varene yielded the happiest confirmation of her belief in him. Dick's ability was recognized not only by his mother, but by his professors. He was engrossed in his work, and his first successes developed his capacity for application. His mother's only fear was that praise was still too necessary to him.  He gave lavishly where he was sure of a return, but it remained to be seen if he were capable of production without recognition. She had brought him up in a wholesome scorn of material rewards, and nature seemed in this direction to have seconded her training. He was genuinely indifferent to money, and his enjoyment of beauty was of that happy sort which does not generate the wish for possession. As long as the inner eye had food for contemplation he cared very little for the deficiencies in his surroundings, or it might rather be said, he felt in the sum total of beauty about him an ownership of appreciation that left him free from the fret of personal desire. Mrs. Payton had cultivated to excess this disregard of material conditions, but she now began to ask herself whether in so doing she had not laid too great a strain on a temperament naturally exalted. In guarding against other tendencies she had perhaps fostered in him too exclusively those qualities which circumstances had brought to an unusual development in herself. His enthousiasms and his disdains were alike too unqualified for that happy mean of character which is the best defense against the surprises of fortune, if she had taught him to set an exaggerated value on ideal rewards, was not that but a shifting of the danger point on which her fears had always hung. She trembled sometimes to think how little love and a lifelong vigilance had availed in the deflecting of inherited tendencies. Her fears were in a measure confirmed by the first two years of their life in New York and the opening of his career as a professional architect. Close on the easy triumphs of his student ships there came the chilling reaction of public indifference. Dick on his return from Paris had formed a partnership with an architect who had had several years of practical training in a New York office, but the quiet and industrious skill, though he attracted to the new firm a few small jobs which overflowed from the business of his former employer, was not able to infect the public with his own faith in Peyton's talents, and it was trying to a genius who felt himself capable of creating palaces to have to restrict his efforts to the building of suburban cottages or the planning of cheap alterations in private houses. Mrs. Peyton expended all the ingenuities of tenderness in keeping up her son's courage, and she was seconded in the task by a friend whose acquaintance Dick had made at the Beaux Arts and who two years before the Peyton's had returned to New York to start on his own career as an architect. Paul Darrow was a young man full of crude seriousness who after a youth of struggling work and study in his native northwestern state had won a scholarship which sent him abroad for a course at the Beaux Arts. His two years there coincided with the first part of Dick's residence, and Darrow's gifts had at once attracted the younger student. Dick was unstinted in his admiration of rival talent, and Mrs. Peyton, who was romantically given to the cultivation of such generosity, had seconded his enthusiasm by the kindest offers of hospitality to the young student. Darrow thus became the grateful frequenter of their little salon, and after their return to New York the intimacy between the two young men was renewed, though Mrs. Peyton found it more difficult to coax Dick's friend to her New York drawing-room than to the informal surroundings of the Rue de Varene. There no doubt secluded and absorbed in her son's work she had seemed to Darrow almost a fellow student, but seen among her own associates she became once more the woman of fashion divided from him by the whole breadth of her ease and his awkwardness. Mrs. Peyton, whose tact had divined the cause of his estrangement, would not for an instant let it affect the friendship of the two young men. She encouraged Dick to frequent Darrow, in whom she divined a persistency of effort and artistic self-confidence in contrast to his social hesitancies. The example of his obstinate capacity for work was just the influence her son needed, and if Darrow would not come to them she insisted that Dick must seek him out, must never let him think that any social discrepancy could affect a friendship based on deeper things. Dick, who had all the loyalties and who took an honest pride in his friend's growing success, needed no urging to maintain the intimacy, and his copious reports of midnight colloquies in Darrow's lodgings showed Mrs. Peyton that she had a strong ally in her invisible friend. It had been therefore somewhat of a shock to learn in the course of time that Darrow's influence was being shared, if not counteracted, by that of a young lady in whose honor Dick was now giving his first professional tea. Mrs. Peyton had heard a great deal about Miss Clements Verney, first from the usual purveyors of such information, and more recently from her son, who, probably divining that rumour had been before him, adopted his usual method of disarming his mother by taking her into his confidence. But ample as her information was, it remained perplexing and contradictory, and even her own few meetings with the girl had not helped her to a definite opinion. Miss Verney, in conduct and ideas, was patently of the new school, a young woman of feverish activities and broadcast judgments, whose very versatility made her hard to define. Mrs. Peyton was shrewd enough to allow for the accidents of environment, what she wished to get at was the residuum of character beneath Miss Verney's shifting surface. It looks charmingly, Mrs. Peyton repeated, giving a loosening touch to the chrysanthemums in a tall face on her son's desk. Dick laughed and glanced at his watch. They won't be here for another quarter of an hour. I think I'll tell Gil to clean out the workroom before they come. Are we to see the drawings for the competition, his mother asked? He shook his head smilingly. Can't. I've asked one or two of the Beaux-Arts fellows, you know, and besides old Darrow's actually coming. Impossible, Mrs. Peyton exclaimed. He swore he would last night.  I've an idea he wants to see Miss Verney. Ah, his mother murmured. There was a pause before she added. Has Darrow really gone in for this competition? Rather, I should say so, he's simply working himself to the bone. Mrs. Peyton sat revolving her muff on a meditative hand. At length, she said, I'm not sure I think it quite nice of him. Her son halted before her with an incredulous stare. Mother, he exclaimed. The rebuke sent a blush to her forehead. Well, considering your friendship and everything. Everything? What do you mean by everything? The fact that he had more ability than I have and is therefore more likely to succeed? The fact that he needs the money and the success adduced sight more than any of us? Is that the reason you think he oughtn't to have entered? Mother, I never heard you say an ungenerous thing before. The blush deepened to crimson, and she rose with a nervous laugh. It was ungenerous, she conceded. I suppose I'm jealous for you.  Her son smiled reassuringly. You needn't. I'm not afraid. I think I shall pull it off this time. In fact, Paul's the only man I'm afraid of. I'm always afraid of Paul. But the mere fact that he's in the thing is a tremendous stimulus. His mother continued to study him with an anxious tenderness. Have you worked out the whole scheme? Do you see it yet? Oh, broadly yes. There's a gap here and there, a hazy bit rather. It's the hardest problem I've ever had to tackle. But then it's my biggest opportunity, and I've simply got to pull it off. Mrs. Payton sat silent, considering his flushed face and illumined eye, which were rather those of the victor nearing the goal than of the runner just beginning the race. She remembered something that Darrow had once said of him. Dick always sees the end too soon. You haven't too much time left, she murmured. Just a week, but I shan't go anywhere after this. I shall renounce the world. He glanced smilingly at the festal tea-table and the empowered desk. When I next appear it will either be with my heel on Paul's neck, or else being dragged lifeless from the arena.  Oh, not lifeless, she said. His face clouded. Well, maimed for life, then, he muttered. Mrs. Payton made no answer. She knew how much hung on the possibility of his winning the competition which for weeks past had engrossed him. It was a design for the new museum of sculpture for which the city had recently voted half a million. Dick's taste ran naturally to the grandiose, and the erection of public buildings had always been the object of his ambition. Here was an unmatched opportunity, and he knew that in a competition of the kind the newest man had as much chance of success as the firm of most established reputation since every competitor entered on his own merits, the designs being submitted to a jury of architects who voted on them without knowing the names of the contestants. Dick characteristically was not afraid of the older firms. Indeed, as he had told his mother, Paul Darrow was the only rival he feared. Mrs. Payton knew that to a certain point self-confidence was a good sign, but somehow her sons did not strike her as being of the right substance. It seemed to have no dimension but extent. Her fears were complicated by a suspicion that under his professional eagerness for success lay the knowledge that Miss Verney's favor hung on the victory. It was that perhaps which gave a feverish touch to his ambition, and Mrs. Payton surveying the future from the height of her material apprehensions, devined that the situation depended mainly on the girl's view of it. She would have given a great deal to know Clemens Verney's conception of success. End of Part 2, Section 1. Part 2, Section 2 of Sanctuary. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Sanctuary by Edith Wharton. Part 2, Section 2. Miss Verney, when she presently appeared in the wake of the impersonal and exclamatory young married woman who served as a background to her vivid outline, seemed competent to impart at short notice any information required of her. She had never struck Mrs. Payton as more alert and efficient. A melting grace of line and color tempered her edges with the charming haze of youth, but it occurred to her critic that she might emerge from this morning mist as a dry and metallic old woman. If Miss Verney suspected a personal application in Dick's hospitality, it did not call forth in her the usual tokens of self-consciousness. Her manner may have been a shade more vivid than usual, but she preserved all her bright composure of glance and speech, so that one guessed under the rapid dispersal of words an undisturbed steadiness of perception. She was lavishly but not indiscriminately interested in the evidences of her host's industry, and as the other guests assembled, straying with vague ejaculations through the labyrinth of scale drawings and blueprints, Mrs. Payton noted that Miss Verney alone knew what these symbols stood for. To his visitors' requests to be shown his plans for the competition, Payton had opposed a laughing refusal and forced by the presence of two fellow architects, young men with lingering traces of the bozards in their costume and vocabulary, who stood about in gavarney attitudes and dazzled the ladies by allusions to fenestration and entices. The party had already drifted back to the tea-table when a hesitating knock announced Darrow's approach. He entered with his usual air of having blundered in by mistake, embarrassed by his hat and greatcoat, and thrown into deeper confusion by the necessity of being introduced to the ladies grouped about the urn. To the men he threw a gruff nod of fellowship, and Dick having relieved him of his encumbrances, he retreated behind the shelter of Mrs. Payton's welcome. The latter judiciously gave him time to recover, and when she turned to him he was engaged in a surreptitious inspection of Miss Verney, whose dusky slenderness, relieved against the bare walls of the office, made her look like a young St. John of Donatello's. The girl returned his look with one of her clear glances, and the group having presently broken up again, Mrs. Payton saw that she had drifted to Darrow's side. The visitors at length wandered back to the workroom to see a portfolio of Dick's watercolors, but Mrs. Payton remained seated behind the urn, listening to the interchange of talk through the open door while she tried to coordinate her impressions. She saw that Miss Verney was sincerely interested in Dick's work, it was the nature of her interest that remained in doubt. As if to solve this doubt, the girl presently reappeared alone on the threshold, and discovering Mrs. Payton advanced toward her with a smile. Are you tired of hearing us praise Mr. Payton's things, she asked, dropping into a low chair beside her hostess? An intelligent admiration must be a bore to people who know, and Mr. Darrow tells me you are almost as learned as your son. Mrs. Payton returned the smile, but evaded the question. I should be sorry to think your admiration unintelligent, she said. I like to feel that my boy's work is appreciated by people who understand it. Oh, I have the usual smattering, said Miss Verney carelessly. I think I know why I admire his work, but then I am sure I see more in it when someone like Mr. Darrow tells me how remarkable it is. Does Mr. Darrow say that, the mother exclaimed, losing sight of her object in the rush of maternal pleasure? He has said nothing else. It seems to be the only subject which loosens his tongue. I believe he is more anxious to have your son win the competition than to win it himself. He is a very good friend, Mrs. Payton assented. She was struck by the way in which the girl led the topic back to the special application of it which interested her. She had none of the artifices of prudery. He feels sure that Mr. Payton will win, Miss Verney continued. It was very interesting to hear his reasons. He is an extraordinarily interesting man. It must be a tremendous incentive to have such a friend. Mrs. Payton hesitated. The friendship is delightful, but I don't know that my son needs the incentive. He is almost too ambitious. Miss Verney looked up brightly. Can one be, she said? Ambition is so splendid. It must be so glorious to be a man and go crashing through obstacles, straight up to the thing one is after. I'm afraid I don't care for people who are superior to success. I like marriage by capture. She rose with her wandering laugh and stood flushed and sparkling above Mrs. Payton, who continued to gaze at her gravely. What do you call success, the latter asked? It means so many different things. Oh, yes, I know, the inward approval and all that. Well, I'm afraid I like the other kind, the drums and wreaths and acclimations. If I were Mr. Payton, for instance, I'd much rather win the competition than be as disinterested as Mr. Darrow. Mrs. Payton smiled. I hope you won't tell him so, she said half seriously. He is overstimulated already, and he is so easily influenced by anyone who—whose opinion he values.  Miss Verney did not seem to take the illusion to herself, for she continued to fix on Mrs. Payton a gaze of impartial sympathy. But we can't help being interested, she declared. It's very kind of you, but I wish you would all help him to feel that his competition is, after all, a very little account compared with other things, his health and his peace of mind, for instance. He is looking horribly used up. The girl glanced over her shoulder at Dick, who was just re-entering the room at Darrow's side. Oh, do you think so, she said? I should have thought it was his friend who was used up. Miss Payton followed the glance with surprise. She had been too preoccupied to notice Darrow, whose crudely modelled face was always of a dull pallor, to which his slow-moving gray eye lent no relief except in rare moments of expansion.  Poor Darrow, he did look horribly fagged out, as if he needed care and petting and good food. No one knew exactly how he lived. His rooms, according to Dick's report, were fireless and ill-kept, but he stuck to them because his landlady, whom he had fished out of some financial plight, had difficulty in obtaining other lodgers. He belonged to no clubs and wandered out alone for his meals, mysteriously refusing the hospitality which his friends pressed on him. It was plain that he was very poor, and Dick conjectured that he sent what he earned to an aunt in his native village, but he was so silent about such matters that, outside of his profession, he seemed to have no personal life. Miss Verney's companion, having presently advised her of the lapse of time, there ensued a general leave-taking at the close of which Dick accompanied the ladies to their carriage. Darrow was, meanwhile, blundering into his greatcoat, a process which always threw him into a state of perspiring embarrassment, but Mrs. Peyton, surprising him in the act, suggested that he should defer it and give her a few moments' talk. Let me make you some fresh tea, she said, as Darrow blushingly shed the garment, and when Dick comes back we'll all walk home together. I've not had a chance to say two words to you this winter. Darrow sank into a chair at her side and nervously contemplated his boots. I've been tremendously hard at work, he said.  Oh, well, I shall have time to rest now, he returned. I put the last stroke to them this morning. Mrs. Peyton gave him a quick look. You're ahead of Dick, then. In point of time only, he said, smiling. That is in itself an advantage, she answered, with a tinge of asperity. In spite of an honest effort for impartiality she could not at the moment help regarding Darrow as an obstacle in her son's path. I wish the competition were over, she exclaimed, conscious that her voice had betrayed her. I hate to see you both looking so fagged. Darrow smiled again, perhaps at her studied inclusion of himself. Oh, Dick's all right, he said, he'll pull himself together in no time. He spoke with an emphasis which might have struck her if her sympathies had not again been deflected by the illusion to her son. Not if he doesn't win, she exclaimed. Darrow took the tea she had poured for him, knocking the spoon to the floor in his eagerness to perform the feat gracefully. In bending to recover the spoon he struck the tea-table with his shoulder and set the cups dancing. Having regained a measure of composure he took a swallow of the hot tea and set it down with a gasp, precariously near the edge of the tea-table. Mrs. Peyton rescued the cup and Darrow, apparently forgetting its existence, rose and began to pace the room. It was always hard for him to sit still when he talked. You mean he so tremendously set on it he broke out? Mrs. Peyton hesitated. You know him almost as well as I do, she said. He's capable of anything where there is a possibility of success, but I'm always afraid of the reaction. Oh, well, Dick's a man, said Darrow bluntly. Besides, he's going to succeed. I wish he didn't feel so sure of it. You mustn't think I'm afraid for him. He's a man and I want him to take his chances with other men, but I wish he didn't care so much about what people think. People? Miss Verney, then. I suppose you know. Darrow paused in front of her. Yes, he's talked a good deal about her. You think she wants him to succeed? At any price. He drew his brows together. What do you call any price? Well, herself in this case, I believe. Darrow bent a puzzled stare on her. You mean she attached that amount of importance to this competition? She seems to regard it as symbolical. That's what I gather, and I'm afraid she's given him the same impression. Darrow's sunken face was suffused by his rare smile. Oh, well, he'll pull it off, then, he said. Mrs. Peyton rose with a distracted sigh. I have hope he won't for such a motive, she exclaimed. The motive won't show in his work, said Darrow. He added, after a pause, probably devoted to the search for the right word. He seems to think a great deal of her. Mrs. Peyton fixed him thoughtfully. I wish I knew what you think of her. Why, I never saw her before. No, but you talked with her today. You formed an opinion. I think you came here on purpose. He chuckled joyously at her discernment. She had always seemed to him gifted with supernatural insight. Well, I did want to see her, he owned. And what do you think? He took a few vague steps and then halted before Mrs. Peyton. I think, he said smiling, that she likes to be helped first, and to have everything on her plate at once. End of Part 2, Section 2. Part 2, Section 3 of Sanctuary. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Sanctuary by Edith Wharton. Part 2, Section 3. At dinner with a rush of contrition, Mrs. Peyton remembered that she had, after all, not spoken to Darrow about his health. He had distracted her by beginning to talk of Dick, and besides much as Darrow's opinions interested her, his personality had never fixed her attention. He always seemed to her simply a vehicle for the transmission of ideas. It was Dick who recalled her to a sense of her omission by asking if she hadn't thought that Old Paul looked rather more ragged than usual. He did look tired, Mrs. Peyton conceded. I meant to tell him to take care of himself. Dick laughed at the futility of the measure. Old Paul is never tired. He can work twenty-five hours out of the twenty-four. The trouble with him is that he's ill. Something wrong with the machinery, I'm afraid. Oh, I'm sorry. Has he seen a doctor? He wouldn't listen to me when I suggested it the other day, but he's so deust mysterious that I don't know what he may have done since. Dick rose putting down his coffee cup and half-smoked cigarette. I've half a mind to pop in on him to-night and see how he's getting on. But he lives at the other end of the earth and you're tired yourself. I'm not tired, only a little strung up, he returned smiling, and besides I'm going to meet Gil at the office by and by and put in a night's work. It won't hurt me to take a look at Paul first. Mrs. Peyton was silent. She knew it was useless to contend with her son about his work, and she tried to fortify herself with the remembrance of her own words to Darrow. Dick was a man and must take his chance with other men. But Dick, glancing at his watch, uttered an exclamation of annoyance. Oh, by Jove, I shan't have time after all. Gil is waiting for me now. We must have dawdled over dinner. He went to give his mother a caressing tap on the cheek. Now don't worry, he adjured her, and as she smiled back at him he added with a sudden happy blush. She doesn't you know. She's so sure of me. Mrs. Peyton's smile faded and laying a detaining hand on his, she said with sudden directness. Sure of you or sure of your success? He hesitated. Oh, she regards them as synonymous. She thinks I'm bound to get on. But if you don't? He shrugged laughingly but with a slight contraction of his confident brows. Why, I shall have to make way for someone else, I suppose. That's the law of life. Mrs. Peyton sat upright, gazing at him with a kind of solemnity. Is it the law of love, she asked? He looked down on her with a smile that trembled a little. My dear romantic mother, I don't want her pity, you know. Dick, coming home the next morning, shortly before daylight, left the house again after hurried breakfast, and Mrs. Peyton heard nothing of him till nightfall. He had promised to be back for dinner, but a few moments before eight as she was coming down to the drawing-room the parlor made hand at her a hastily penciled note. Don't wait for me, it ran. Darrow is ill and I can't leave him. I'll send a line when the doctor has seen him. Mrs. Peyton, who was a woman of rapid reactions, read the words with a pang. She was ashamed of the jealous thought she had harbored of Darrow and of the selfishness which had made her lose sight of his troubles in consideration of Dick's welfare. Even Clements Verney, whom she secretly accused of a want of heart, had been struck by Darrow's ill looks while she had had eyes only for her son. Poor Darrow, how cold and self-engrossed he must have thought her. In the first rush of penitence her impulse was to drive at once to his lodgings, but the infection of his own shyness restrained her. Dick's note gave no details, the illness was evidently grave, but might not Darrow regard her coming as an intrusion? To repair her negligence of yesterday by a sudden invasion of his privacy might be only a greater failure intact. And after a moment of deliberation she resolved on sending to ask Dick if he wished her to go to him. The reply which came late was what she had expected. No, we have all the help we need. The doctor has sent a good nurse and is coming again later. It's pneumonia, but of course he doesn't say much yet. Let me have some beef juice as soon as the cook can make it. The beef juice ordered and dispatched. She was left to a vigil in melancholy contrast to that of the previous evening. Then she had been enclosed in the narrow limits of her maternal interests. Now the barriers of self were broken down, and her personal preoccupations swept away on the current of a wider sympathy. As she sat there in the radius of lamplight, which, for so many evenings, had held Dick and herself in a charmed circle of tenderness, she saw that her love for her boy had come to be merely a kind of extended egotism. Love had narrowed instead of widening her, had rebuilt between herself and life the very walls which, years and years before, she had laid low with bleeding fingers. It was horrible how she had come to sacrifice everything to the one passion of ambition for her boy. At daylight she sent another messenger, one of her own servants, who returned without having seen Dick. Mr. Payton had sent word that there was no change. He would write later, he wanted nothing. The day wore on drearily. Once Kate found herself computing the precious hours lost to Dick's unfinished task. She blushed at her ineradicable selfishness, and tried to turn her mind to poor Darrow. But she could not master her impulses, and now she caught herself indulging the thought that his illness would at least exclude him from the competition. But no, she remembered that he had said his work was finished. Come what might he stood in the path of her boy's success. She hated herself for the thought, but it would not down. Evening drew on, but there was no note from Dick. At length in the shamed reaction from her fears she rang for a carriage and went upstairs to dress. She could stand aloof no longer, she must go to Darrow if only to escape from her wicked thoughts of him. As she came down again she heard Dick's key in the door. She hastened her steps, and as she reached the hall he stood before her without speaking. She looked at him and the question died on her lips. He nodded and walked slowly past her. There was no hope from the first, he said. The next day Dick was taken up with the preparations for the funeral. The distant aunt, who appeared to be Darrow's only relation, had been duly notified of his death, but no answer having been received from her it was left to his friend to fulfill the customary duties. He was again absent for the best part of the day, and when he returned at dusk Mrs. Peyton, looking up from the tea-table behind which she awaited him, was startled by the deep-lined misery of his face. Her own thoughts were too painful for ready expression, and they sat for a while in a mute community of wretchedness. Is everything arranged, she asked at length? Yes, everything. And you have not heard from the aunt? He shook his head. Can you find no trace of any other relations? None. I went over all his papers. There were very few and I found no address but the aunts. He sat thrown back in his chair, disregarding the cup of tea she had mechanically poured for him. I found this, though, he added, after a pause, drawing a letter from his pocket and holding it out to her. She took it doubtfully. Aught I to read it? Yes. She saw then that the envelope in Darrow's hand was addressed to her son. Within were a few penciled words dated on the first day of his illness, the morrow of the day on which she had last seen him. Dear Dick, she read, I want you to use my plans for the museum if you can get any good out of them. Even if I pull out of this I want you to. I shall have other chances, and I have an idea this one means a lot to you. Mrs. Paton sat speechless, gazing at the date of the letter, which she had instantly connected with her last talk with Darrow. She saw that he had understood her and the thought scorched her to the soul. Wasn't it glorious of him, Dick said?  End of Part 2, Section 3.


Hi, my name is Darren Winerton. I'm with ST Microelectronics and I work on their Time of Flight products. I'm going to give a quick demonstration of our VL5301 sensor being used in a LiDAR system. To get 180 degrees, our horizontal field of view of our sensor is about 20 degrees. So if I take 9 sensors and tilt each one by 20 degrees, I'm getting a full 180 degree field of view. Here is a picture of my actual LiDAR dish. Just to give you some numbers, if I run all sensors simultaneously and I put a 12 millisecond timing budget for each zone, it means that I'm going to range all 117 points of LiDAR data, which is a full 180 degree sweep in about 160 milliseconds. So that's around 6.25 frames per second, so a little bit better than 6 frames a second. The max range is limited to about 1 meter, but if you need to get more distance, you can do that by increasing the timing budget, but if you increase the timing budget, then your frame rate will decrease as I'm showing on this slide. So I'm now going to show you some video clips where we put a camera over the top and synchronized the distance by putting a grid over the camera data and you can see how accurate the distances are. And you can also see with some motion how quickly our LiDAR is able to run. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact your local sales representative or visit www.st.com slash time of flight. Thank you.


Cue Nirvana's Come As You Are. Really the perfect song to put in a corporate movie from Disney and also a beautiful pour-one-out moment for Kurt Cobain. I'm sure he would love this and not be rolling over in his grave. Annette Benning, she's all over this movie. It's the Annette Benning Show.   Granted, it leads to some truly stunning shots like this. It's cute how hard you're trying.


We're taking shipping containers and we're stacking them on top of each other and we're growing inside the shipping containers So one container can do about an acre and a half of a vegetable production I had failed in agriculture. I had to rent land with a 15-year long lease I had issues with transportation when our country had a fuel scarcity It makes no sense to make money and your community suffering