Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, he'll never step up and choose you if you're doing this. Please stop doing this. Really quickly, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if at any time during this video, the content resonates, please do me a favor and hit that like button so I can be seen in the Yucatoog algorithms. Lastly, this is your explicit language warning. I do occasionally drop an F-bomb here or there, so which I call expletives to enhance the sentence. And if that's not your cup of tea, I highly suggest you log off now. All right, let's jump into, he'll never step up and choose you if you're doing this. Don't do this, don't do this anymore. All right, really quickly, let's think about the dating process really quickly. I mean, we've all been pretty much indoctrinated. Men are the hunters and men are the chasers and men kind of lead the dating process. That's just the way it's been throughout millennia. And that's still the way it is today. Men tend to come on strong when they like someone. That's just what happens. We kind of take off like a rocket, okay? Because in a way, even think about the idea of starting a fire, you have to like, two rocks have to, or two flint stones or whatever have to go together with some force to get it started. So relationships do tend to take off a little bit fast. And then what happens in most relationships that they start to shift the energy. And when I'm, or excuse me, the energy begins to shift. What you notice in many cases, men start to slow down, they become passive. They start to be inconsistent. They start to be wishy-washy. They start to go hot and cold. Now, some of the reasons why this happens is because there's stuff going on in his life that makes it difficult for him to actually lean into a relationship because the foundation he has under his life isn't very solid. In fact, in many cases, this is the predominant reason why men, ghosts, disappear, act flaky, act passive, act wishy-washy, all those kind of things. And yet there's another thing that actually happens frequently that most women do, and they're not realizing they're doing this, is that they give their power away to a man. They give their power away to a man. Now, I wanna spend some time talking about this, and I came up with an interesting analogy because when you think about it, from a dating perspective, if you follow my work, I always talk about a relationship is a two-lane street, meaning two cars driving together side-by-side down the street. That's the analogy I talk about frequently when I shoot my videos and in my private coaching program. What I notice, however, is most women, once we get past that initial first or second date, what women often do is they get inside his car so they're the passenger in the car and he's the one driving. Now, in many cases, women, just from that particular metaphor, from an actual physical perspective, many of you might like that because the man is taking charge, he's taking the lead, he's being the provider protector when he's driving the car. The challenge is when he's driving the car, it's on his terms, how the speed he travels, the, you know, does he pay attention to the road? Is he erratic? Is he one of these angry drivers? Is he a slow driver? Is he a fast driver? Is he chaotic driver?  Literally, the way the dating process is set up for most women is that you're getting in the passenger seat and you're following basically, I don't wanna say the rules of the man, but there's this expectation that the man is the leader of the relationship. So what happens is you're effectively a passenger in the relationship and you're not actually being a participant in the relationship. Let me repeat that, you're a passenger in the relationship and you're not an active participation in the relationship. And when I said earlier, what women often do, which causes men not to want to choose them, is they give their power away to a man. Now, I've put together a list of examples of how women give their power away and tell me if this resonates with you or not, if you've experienced this or not, experienced this or not, because this is what I frequently see as a dating or relationship coach and for those that don't know me, I'm a dating relationship coach specializing in midlife and midlife is after baby making years and before retirement. So my predominant coaching client is between 42 and 69. And I share this because there's a big difference of being in your 40s, 50s and 60s versus being in your 20s and 30s. Because when most people in their 20s and 30s, their active goal is to make babies and raise a family, you know, to start a family together, men and women of life, that's their primary goal. Not saying for all people, but for most people. So that's their indoctrination relationship but in those folks in their 40s, 50s and 60s, there's a whole different scheme that comes to play. Oftentimes there's divorce, there's alimony, there's child support, there's visitation rights, there's custody, all these things just to give you one example. There's erectile dysfunction, there's menopause, there's estrogen, there's pills for testosterone, ED pills, all this stuff. Then we've got elderly parents. I mean, it's a quagmire of differences which is why folks that give advice for 20 and 30-year-olds, you can't apply it to those in their 40s, 50s and 60s. It just doesn't work that way. However, this one singular thing I'm about to share, this giving one's power away, women do at any age because you've literally been indoctrinated in the belief that your job is to get in the passenger seat and not to be driving your own car. I'm gonna repeat that. You've been so indoctrinated in getting the passenger seat that you're not driving your own car. And remember when I said the metaphor is two cars traveling down the road at the same speed, it's you're in charge of your car and he's in charge of his car. And yet so many of you literally give your power away. So I've put together some examples here of how women give their power away. First and foremost is the relationship is on his terms.  I'm gonna repeat that.  It's literally throughout history that men are so opposed to be in charge of the relationship. And I'm here to say ladies, you are in charge of your relationship destiny. It is not a man's job to be in charge of your destiny. It's he's in charge of his destiny, you're in charge of your destiny.  He's not, I mean, he may temporarily choose you but he's not gonna wanna choose you from a long-term perspective. Number two, most of you are afraid to speak your truth. I want you to think about this.  And yet so many of you are afraid to speak your truth to a man because you're afraid he's going to run away. That's a perfect example of giving your power away. In fact, if you're not familiar with my book, what the heck is self love anyway?  There's a link in the description below. Chapter one is speak your truth, just do it with kindness. And then later in the book, chapter nine is if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right guy. When you are with the right guy, you should want to speak your truth. You should wanna be vulnerable. You should wanna be authentic. You should wanna be transparent without fear, without fear because men are more attracted to women who speak their truth. Now, let me differentiate. I don't mean vomiting your truth. I don't mean confronting him with your truth. I mean merely speaking about your feelings from a healthy emotional way. I'm gonna repeat that. Speaking about your feelings from a healthy emotional way. And if you're not familiar with the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, you've gotta buy this book because this is going to teach you how to communicate in a healthier, happy way. So if you're afraid to speak your truth in relationship, you've literally given your power away. You're in the passenger seat. You're not in the driver's seat. Number three, when the relationship ends, you focus all about him and what he did wrong instead of taking ownership in your part. And quite frankly, taking ownership in your own feelings. That's what matters most. It has nothing to do about him. It has everything to do about your feelings. Number four is waiting for him to initiate contact all the time, waiting for him to initiate contact all the time, waiting for him to initiate contact all the time. Ladies, many of you are suckling on the nipple of, the nipple of I need you to tell me you love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to contact me all the time so I know you care. I need you to contact me so I know you haven't left me. Ladies, whenever you're expecting somebody to do something so you can feel good, you've literally have given your power away. And number five, you stop doing what you did before the relationship and you're waiting on his beck and call so that whenever he calls, that's when you'll be, you know, you're like, I'm waiting for his call. I'm waiting for his call. I'm waiting for his call. And then the last two, feeling like you can't live without him. And then finally, you think that this is the only person you'll ever have chemistry with. Ladies, I'm gonna assume that by the time you've hit 40 or 50, you've had several men that you've had amazing chemistry with. And let me just say this, if you've had it before, you can have it again. Yes, you can. There's not just one person for you out in this world.  So before I take questions in a few minutes, I wanna just give you some perspective on how to shift this narrative, how to shift this narrative. So the solution is to drive in your own car, to be in your sovereignty, to be in your self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, drive your own car, that's number one. And to recognize that the first 100 hours of face-to-face time should be a mutual effort and it's not incumbent upon the man to lead the process. Let me repeat that, the first 100 hours of face-to-face time is a mutual effort. And that's roughly the first six to 12 weeks for those people that live relatively close to one another. Long distance relationships, I don't even wanna go there in this conversation because that's a whole clusterfuck all together and we can talk about that later, but I'm here to say for two people that live relatively close to one another during the first six to 12 weeks or roughly 100 hours of face-to-face time, it's a mutual effort into getting to know one another.  This actually establishes a stronger bond with a man than expecting him to lead the process. I'm gonna repeat that, when you expect him to lead the process, then you're giving your power away. When you take charge and say, hey, I wanna take you out tonight and we're gonna go to this restaurant or you free at six o'clock or seven o'clock, you take charge in the early stages in those first 100 hours, you go ahead and initiate a telephone call.  Jonathan, I haven't heard from him in about 10 days and I'm like, have you reached out to him? And they go, no, I'm not supposed to reach out to a man.  The book, The Rules teaches a manipulative way to engage in the early stage of the dating that temporarily, it's only temporarily, maybe tricks a guy into liking you.  But let me just tell you something, when a guy hasn't called for 10 days, maybe he's sitting at home going, God, she hasn't called me in 10 days. She must not like me anymore. Just, I'm not saying that's what he's thinking and quite frankly, if a man hasn't called, chances are he's lost interest. But the point is, have you made effort too? Well, Jonathan, I was the last person to text. Well, guess what? Something could be going on in his life. He could have an emotional issue that's going on. He could have family problems. He could have a work problem that makes him a little less attentive. So folks, if you want to be in a healthy, happy relationship, then recognize that the first 100 hours is a mutual exchange of taking turns in the process of getting to know one another, getting to know one another, getting to know one another. Folks, let me just tell you something. I have witnessed most humans are terrible at getting to know one another. They're terrible at the job. It's great when you have chemistry and you feel like you know someone, but most folks, in fact, I want to read you. I was listening to a song earlier. I don't know if you guys know the movie, Fifty Shades of Grey, but one of the songs in there was called Love Me Like You Do. And the bridge to the chorus goes like this. I'll let you set the pace because I'm not thinking straight. My head is spinning around. I can't see clear no more. What are you waiting for?  So literally, I'm gonna read that again. I'll let you set the pace because I'm not thinking straight. My head is, ladies, if you're not thinking straight when you're in a dating process, you're fucked, okay? I'm sorry to say this because without being rational and intentional and practical, you're setting yourself up for failure. That's like getting into a car. Let's go back to the car analogy. That's like getting in the car, but you're drunk on alcohol. Do you really want to get on the freeway when you're drunk on alcohol? Hell no.  Now, here's the thing. Most men are good guys. Most men are good guys. A lot of them are just very bad daters, but most men are good guys. They'll drive you home per se.  He's not gonna wanna choose you. We'll definitely use you. I say, we, I've been there. I've been the guy with women who have given me their power. And temporarily, I might take advantage of it because what does power do when you give someone power? We get drunk on power. I've gotten drunk on the power that women give me. But I don't wanna choose those women because most guys, most high value men, emotionally mature men, wanna partner that they can travel down the road together. And we are actually more attracted to the woman who's driving her own car rather than giving the job to me. Now, with that said, with the actual, not the metaphor, but the actual driving of the car, I like to drive a car when I'm with a woman, not because I'm a protector provider. It's because I'm a control freak. I wanna be in charge. Nobody likes letting someone else drive. I mean, some people are okay with that. But I know most men prefer to drive because we wanna be in charge, maybe because we don't trust you driving. You have to, but that's just the actual driving of a car. But the metaphor I'm using in relationship, and let me go back to this again, you are in charge of your relationship, Destiny. You should be in your car driving. Do not give your power away to a man. It's not about him leading the relationship. If you want a healthy, happy, co-creative relationship, and let me repeat that, a co-creative relationship, just like what Gary Zukoff talks about in the book, spiritual partnership, spiritual partnership. If you wanna co-creative relationship, then drive your own car. And if you need a little help learning how to drive your own car, I highly recommend getting the book. If the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated, this will teach you how to drive your own car if you don't know how to get this book. All the links in Jonathan recommends books is listed below. I highly recommend reading all of the books I recommend. I recommend that you read all the books I recommend because if you wanna shift your narrative, it's time to get educated. Folks, they didn't teach us this in school. Our parents didn't teach us this. And this is why the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. I'm here to offer you an opportunity for you to learn how to do something in a more effective way, which includes not giving your power away to a man. All right, I hope you found value in that. We're gonna take questions in a moment, but before we take questions, I wanna share something with you all. So here, in fact, I'm gonna post it right here. It's gonna say, why did you date, oops, date when you were not ready? Okay, so I'm gonna post this right there. Jonathan, why did you date when you were not ready? Okay, great question. Where did that go? Okay, so the reason why I'm bringing this up is someone I shared in my previous video that right after my divorce, I was a train wreck. I had lost my quarter million dollar a year job. I was going through a contentious divorce. I was very depressed. I was drinking. I was doing cocaine. I was dating as a way to self-medicate the pain that was going on in my life. And someone said, Jonathan, why would you date when you're not ready? Why would you go out there and date if you weren't capable of being in a relationship? And so I'm not the only person that has experienced what I just shared. And most men and women actually date when they're not ready, when they're not capable of being in a relationship. Let me repeat that. Many people, in fact, I believe most people date when they're not ready. They might have chaos going on in their life. They might have depression going on in life. They might have a contentious divorce going on. They might have issues at work. They might have physical issues going on that makes it difficult for them to build the roots, the roots of trust to be in relationship. By the way, before I forget this, if you wanna learn how to vet if someone is capable of being in a relationship, schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. My area of expertise is learning you how to pre-qualify your prospect. So if you're single and looking for love and you wanna learn how to pre-qualify men, then check out the link below. Because what I'm about to share with you is something I learned the hard way and I'm hoping you don't have to learn it the hard way. But going back to why was I dating when I wasn't ready? Quite frankly, it's because I wanted connection. I wanted companionship. I wanted physical intimacy with someone. It is very common for human beings to go out in the dating realm because they want connection, they want companionship, and they want physical intimacy. But that doesn't mean that they're capable of being in relationship. I'm gonna repeat that. It doesn't mean that they're capable of being in relationship. I've met plenty of women who are actively dating and I have clients as well who are actually not capable of being in relationship because it's a human nature to want connection, companionship, and sex. But that doesn't mean that they're capable of going the distance. This is why it's so hugely important to learn how to vet for emotional maturity. When I do coaching, when I work with a client, I help them learn how to create their own emotional aptitude test to be able to determine if a guy is really capable of leaning in because we all know if you follow my word, leaning back in your feminine energy isn't going to get a guy to claim you. Because that whole leaning back narrative, look, you can lean back all day long and be in your feminine. You can be friendly and flirty and cooperative, but if he's not in a good place to be in relationship just like I wasn't in a good place to be in relationship, it's highly unlikely that anything is going to materialize in the long run. Going back to why did I do it, that's the why. Was it fair to women? Well, quite frankly, back when I was dating, I barely got past the first six weeks and I would end it. I mean, that was literally as long as it went for me back then, I'd go about six weeks, okay? And that's not, I mean, quite frankly, everybody should be prepared to date for six to 12 weeks because dating is, look, it's a vetting process for both men and women alike. What I would like you ladies to do is do a better job of vetting before you actually go out with a man.  And folks, if you're not familiar with the book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman, I highly recommend reading this book so you can learn the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship. I did not know the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship at that stage in my life. This is why I was bouncing against walls all the time. It didn't mean I was a bad human being. By the way, whenever I read these women say, well, why were you dating when you weren't ready or why do men date when they're not ready? Well, my question is, why do women date when they're not ready? It's human nature to want connection. It doesn't mean they're bad people. It's just we humans want connection with one another. And now we have a portal called the internet, or the swipe apps that allows us to connect with people. So anyway, I just wanted to share that with you all. And I want to follow up with that with another thing because some of you asked me about my significant relationship after my divorce. And I touted her in a very positive light. We had a six year on and off relationship that didn't go to the distance shoot. We had a very conscious uncoupling and people asked why didn't it work out? Folks, let me just be very candid with you. If you're not, I was stuck in two phases in my life. I was stuck in my anxious attachment style, anxious attachment style, and I was reliving the Amago. I was reliving the Amago. And let me just talk about this for a moment. If you're not familiar with love attachment style, I highly recommend reading the book attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. Read this book to understand attachment style. I was stuck in my anxious attachment style, which meant I get very needy in relationship. So I showed up very needy in that relationship. I was suckling on the nipple of I needed her to love me so I could feel good about myself. And I was constantly needing validation and constantly needing validation. Now, why did I do this? Because I was trapped in what's known as the Amago. And if you're not familiar with the work of Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt, they wrote a book called Getting the Love You Want. This explains why we choose people like our parents. I'm gonna repeat that. We oftentimes are trying to heal a wound with our parents. So we choose someone that is reminiscent or familiar to an action of our parents. I know many of you might have daddy issues or mommy issues. And you're oftentimes choosing a partner very similar to one of your parents because we're actually trying to heal through another human being when we actually need to go to our parents and heal that stuff. This is why I highly recommend reading the book or doing the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process. This is a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas, childhood wounds and traumas that causes to have negative patterns and limiting beliefs in our relationship life. And quite frankly, in my particular case, my previous relationship was kind enough for after we ended our relationship, she gifted as my birthday gift this Hoffman process. And let me tell you something, after all was said and done, it's a four or $5,000 investment. And that was her kind gift to me after we ended our relationship. And once I went to the Hoffman process, I began the healing of my pattern of my anxious attachment style and my need to try to heal my relationship with one or both of my parents. So many cases, so I'm sharing with you why it didn't work out. That quite frankly, she was a beautiful, loving person. We both needed to heal each other. I was big instrumental in her life in helping her heal. And she's now in a wonderful relationship with a great guy named David. He and I are now friends. We play golf together. And I only share this with you to help you understand is that sometimes we meet great people, but it doesn't mean we're meant to go the distance. Those great people we meet are meant to be our lessons in our lives. And when we can look at our past relationships on what we positively learned about ourselves and what was good and what we're most grateful for, we have a greater chance of experiencing a healthier, happier relationship in the future. And that's where I think I'm at today. And coincidentally, after going through that experience, I was able to write my book.  Does anyone own this book? Please let me know. All right, I think it's great time to take questions now. So if you're familiar with my process, if you have a question, write the word question and post the question there after. Or you can purchase a Super Sticker or Super Chat. I noticed several people did purchase them already. Thank you so much. The funds of the Super Sticker and Super Chats, which only you can do on the live stream, goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's my son who passed away a few years. And the monies go to a scholarship fund to help those who need personal development. So those funds go there. All right, let's just see what we've got here. Let's see if we've got any questions. By the way, did what I share, was that valuable folks? Did that help? I hope it did. All right, if you have a question, post the word question. And we are going to, let's see. I'm just scrolling here, so. Bump, bump, bump. Grace wrote, I'm so used to getting rejected by a few that I really like that I'm cold about it. I feel great about myself and feel the universe has my person, but we'll give it when I'm truly ready to receive. Great question. So when we're ready to receive, listen, it requires, listen, love is a function of giving and receiving, giving and receiving, giving and receiving. It's great. By the way, giving allows us to be in control. Giving allows us to be in control. The problem is most many folks, many folks have a hard time receiving. Men and women alike, and just like this woman has just pointed out, Grace, thank you, is if you're not ready to receive, it's going to be difficult to get on that two-lane street if your car is stuck somewhere and they're moving along. You have to be able to give and receive together for a relationship to actually build the roots of trust to one another. So I invite you to open up your heart to be able to receive. I highly recommend, if you need help with that, I highly recommend reading the book, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. This is a great book to shift the narrative to move into one's heart. Oh, wait, there's another great book. Gosh, there's another book and I can't think of what it is to move into our heart. It'll come to me. Oh, Mastery of Love, Mastery of Love. Hold on one second. I wanna find that book in my bookshelf. Bear with me, folks. Where's Mastery of Love? Oh, well, you guys get the gist of where I'm going. Mastery of Love, great book to shift into your heart. Oh, also, let me not forget How to Make Love All the Time by Barbara DeAngelis. Great book to help you shift into your heart and that's my invitation for you, Grace. Thank you so much. Great question or great post. All right, if you have a question, post the word question. Post, write the word question, then write your question thereafter so it's easier for me to see, folks. Okay, Sadie writes. Question, Jonathan. I'm extremely jealous in relationship and I even felt jealous once a man, wait, let me repeat that. I even felt jealous once of a man's cat. Should I tell a prospective partner about this? And yes, when is the best time? So, jealousy is oftentimes, at least from my perspective, an issue, the person has trust issues. I believe people that have inherent trust issues have jealousy issues or at least that's my perspective on it. So, first off, by telling someone that you have jealousy issues, I quite frankly, when a woman tells me she has trust or jealousy issues, I have no part in that relationship. I do not want to get onto a train with someone who has an inherent issue of trust. Quite frankly, partially because I'm in a business where I talk to women all day long so I'm just using me as the example, but what man wants to deal with a woman with trust or jealousy issues. I highly recommend instead of focusing on when to tell him, I highly focus on reading the book, the Hoffman process, to get to the root of where the jealousy issues lie, because quite frankly, if you, because here's the thing, just because, now by the way, I understand the idea of telling someone it prepares them. I know I wouldn't date someone who has trust or jealousy issues because to me, that's a lack of emotional maturity. I'm gonna repeat that, that's not a lack of emotional maturity, but that's a functionality of a weakness of emotional maturity, at least from my perspective. I'm not saying this as an absolute, I allow others to view it how they wish to view it, but my invitation for you, get to the root of where the insecurity lies and focus on that rather than telling him.   All right, Sadie, thank you for that question, I appreciate it. All right, Lee says, familiarity, not comfort, but familiarity and a hope of improving. Interesting, okay, thank you. All right, if you have a question, post the word question. Hi, Jonathan, as a man, I rejected a girl who wanted to have sex with me. I refused, because I felt she was not sober enough, and now I think I've insulted her. What should I do now? Interesting question, thank you so much, Matt Dia. I'm hoping I'm pronouncing your name right. So, I actually remember this happen to me once. So I would simply say, I take my time before I'm intimate with someone, and I really, and quite frankly, I mean, I'm assuming you're attracted to this person and you like this person, I'm assuming that, if you don't, this is just one example of what to do in this particular case.  That's one way of looking at it. If you rejected, if you chose, I don't like the word reject, if you chose not to have sex with her, because you don't wanna be in relationship with her, which is actually a very commendable thing to do. Let me lean into this for a second, because there's something virtuous about a man who is actually recognizes that he could have sex with a woman, but she's not the one. I've been in a position where I've had an opportunity, the woman just literally laid it down for me to have, and I said, no, I didn't reject her, it's because I didn't wanna go down a road of making a promise I couldn't keep.  So in this particular case, I would say either try the former or the, but in the case of the latter, you could just say, look, I'm not considering you as a long-term partner, and that's why I didn't wanna go down the path of being intimate with them. At least that's my suggestion in that case. I hope that helps, so thank you so much. Great question, great post.  Okay, I'm not sure I understand that question to the extent, look it, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm gonna repeat that, beauty is in the eye of a beholder. And quite frankly, attraction is an individual thing. Now, we oftentimes are attracted to people that are more attractive than ourselves. Let me repeat that, we're oftentimes attracted to more people, more attracted to someone who's more attractive than ourselves. Now, I'm not here to create a scale of the one to 10 type of thing, but oftentimes most people make the assumption that they're a seven, eight, or nine, when the vast majority of the population might say you're a four, five, or six, I'm just using this as an analogy. But in fact, most men try to date up in a level of attraction. And quite frankly, on some level, most women actually have to most likely date down on attraction. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying what it is. Here's the thing, you don't have to do anything you don't want, you can just do what you want. Now, does that mean you're going to attract the partner you want? Look it, a lot of men who are in their 50s, 60s, and 70s want 20 year old women. Just because they want it doesn't mean they're going to get it. You have to be realistic with yourself. What matters most, if anything, is a heart connection with another human being, developing friendship with another human being. That's more important, and the long run, and when two emotionally healthy people come together, they actually find themselves attracted to one another because their heart is radiating more than just their body. But everybody has their own way of doing things, and that's just my perspective on this one. So thank you so much for that question, I really appreciate it, Saul. Okay, natural beauty says, question, why a man constantly tells you he loves you but distance himself when personal issues arose, loss of family members, et cetera. Great question, so why didn't, well first off, okay, we have to let go of this narrative that love means relationship success. Let me repeat that, love does not equal relationship success, okay? So, and by the way, people can love one another, doesn't mean that they're compatible with one another, doesn't mean that they're in a place to be in relationship with one another, just like I shared earlier. I loved the woman I was in relationship, but I wasn't really capable of being in a relationship because my attachment style, and I was healing childhood wounds and trauma. And not to mention, if someone's got chaos in their life, it's difficult to build the roots of trust to actually go the distance. Part of the problem that here folks is that most folks at midlife, most folks at midlife don't know what their common cause to be in a relationship. Let me repeat that, most folks don't know their common cause because in our 20s and 30s, the common cause, just like I said earlier in this video, is to make babies and raise a family. At midlife, most folks don't actually understand that commitment requires being in partnership with someone. And most folks at midlife are gun shy at partnership and in fact many cases, most men are gun shy at being the provider protector for another person because they're dealing with alimony, child support, visitation rights, family cord, custody, just to name a few, plus their job issues and maybe health issues. Most men at midlife don't wanna take on the responsibility of being the provider protector. We might innately wanna do that, but we might have a conflict to the actual capability of being a provider protector for another human being. Do you understand this? And by the way, I know a lot of you might get angry at this, but you have to look at it from a man's point of view.  When you add years and years and years and years of trauma and conflict and issues and a lack of real introspective work, why do you think midlife crisis happens? Midlife crisis happens because the blueprint of where we thought our life was going to be collides with our reality. And then all of a sudden it's chaos. Many men and women go through this period of chaos in their life. My friend, Alison Armstrong, where's her book? She wrote a book called The Queen's Code. The Queen's Code and in this book she talks about the tunnel men go through. That tunnel can be five, 10, 15 or 20 years that tunnel could be. What they're stuck in this no man's land. So we, again, remember I said earlier I wanted companionship, I wanted connection, I wanted intimacy, but that doesn't necessarily mean someone is capable already. This is why ladies, you have to learn how to vet for emotional maturity. Check out the link for a discovery call with me so you can learn how to do that. If you're single and looking for love I highly recommend scheduling a call to see if working with a coach is right for you. And in this particular case I'm giving you the why. It may not make you feel good but I'm just telling you the why this happens. Natural beauty, thank you so much. Great question there. All right. Marlene says, God, we're rocking and rolling today. Marlene, question, how many times do I have to give him a chance? He's emotionally immature, controlling insecure, so much anger in him, tried to help him but I'm tired of understanding him and giving us another chance. Folks, this is a perfect example of giving your power away. Why is the relationship based on what he's doing?  Folks, let me give you an example of a standard. This is my standard in relationship. After we've initially been dating and we've decided we want to explore a relationship together, I'm looking for a relationship where we spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, being partners in each other's life, both in our personal and our professional life, and I simply mean partners as teamwork, helping each other, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy that leads to either moving in together or getting married. That's my standard. My boundary is living up to the standard. If I'm with a person who's emotionally immature, if I'm with a person who's wishy-washy, if I'm a woman with a woman, how did she describe it in this particular case? As anger issues, if she has trust issues as I shared before, that's called done. To me, that's called done. That's the moment I say I'm done with this person. That's how I operate, my standard and my boundary. I just want you to look at standard and boundary as a coin. One side is standard, the other side is boundary. Boundary is what's okay and what's not okay for you. I like the way Brene Brown talks about boundaries and if you're not familiar with Brene Brown's work, I highly recommend read book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, Daring Greatly. I would do research on Brene Brown because she talks about boundaries because in this particular case, I don't even know why you want to be with this man. But Jonathan, I love him. I love him so much. We have so much great chemistry for one another. And Marlene, I'm just being tongue in cheek, silly, I'm just being tongue in cheek, silly, okay? But why are you wanting to be with a guy who has anger issues, emotionally immature and everything, I don't get it. Folks, I don't get it, but I wanna help him. It's not your job to be his healer. It's not your job to be his therapist. And quite frankly, he'll never shift. He'll never shift if you're holding space for him to change. He's gotta do it on his own terms. Does that make sense, folks? I hope it does. Thank you, great question. All right. Monica says, love Brene Brown, I agree. Rise and Shine says, trust issues, deal breaker. Yes, I agree. Medea says, thank you, Jonathan. Oh, thank you for answering. It's pretty late here. I wish everyone a good night. Thank you so much. I appreciate it, great question. All right. Um, Jonathan, when you do your woman imitation, you sound like the 10 men from Wizard of Oz. Oh, cute, thank you. Arlene writes, question, a man I'm dating is widowed. He admits he has guilt and has supposed feelings. So how do I deal? Okay, he has guilt and suppressed feelings. I thought it said, by the way, folks, I'm dyslexic. I have a hard time reading so I make big, gigantic mistakes. He has guilt and repressed feelings.  I mean, look at my father.  Oh my God. Now, my mother and father were married 66 years before my mother passed away.  My mother's been passed for three and a half years now. But my point is, is he still constantly thinks about her. He always goes, I'm coming home to you soon. I'm coming home to you soon. Actually, I think my father will live to be 100. But I share this with you as many widowers have loved deeply and it's very difficult. They might feel guilt over what happened in the person's life and have suppressed feelings. And yet we still, if we're young enough, we're in our 40s, 50s or 60s out dating, we might want connection with another human being. That's a very common thing. What's most important is come from a place of understanding and come from a place of love. Doesn't mean that he's your partner, most likely he's not, but come from a place of understanding, compassion and love. That's my invitation for you in this particular case because it's gonna be difficult for someone who still has feelings for someone they love deeply. Folks, look it. You guys know I lost my son Connor. That love is never, now I'm gonna cry. That love is never gonna go away. When we lose someone, when we lose someone we love, that love never goes away. And so I'm not suggesting in this case, it's not like I'm gonna replace my son. It's not that. And I'm not, but as human beings, we wanna be mated with others. And so it's very common to feel, have feelings for our previous partner. So what's most important, we can have compassion, doesn't necessarily mean we have to choose to go on that, doesn't mean we have to get on the road to travel together in relationship. You don't have to do that. What you can do is have compassion and love for this person and choose a partner who's capable, ready to invest in a relationship. I don't know how old he is, but that's just my observation and my invitation on that one. Thank you so much. By the way, am I making a difference in your life? Please purchase a super sticker, super chat. I'd love to have you invest in my scholarship fund for folks. If I'm making a difference right now, please purchase a super sticker, super chat. Just let me know that I'm making a difference right now. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. All right, Arlene says he was 59. So he's still got plenty of years left, Arlene, in him. He may not be your guide, but just recognize that he's going through pain. All right, Ryzen Shine says, I appreciate your authenticity and sensitivity. Thank you so much, Ryzen Shine, I appreciate that. All right, if we have a question, Linda. Oh, thank you, Linda. I really appreciate that very much. Thank you so much. Gretchen says, thoughts and prayers for you, Jonathan. I believe you'll see Connor again soon when you pass over to the other side. Actually, folks, I believe time is an illusion and he just passed away yesterday and I'll be meeting him tomorrow from a time perspective. So thank you so much. I do feel that way. Maria says, Jonathan talks about so many things off and on and times gives perfect examples that I would never even thought of to answer so many things, I've wondered. Thank you, Maria and thank you, I appreciate that. Sol says, I love your genuineness, thank you so much. I appreciate all this. So if you have a question, post the word question. Oh, here we go, Lisa writes, question. Why would a man initiate the first break in the ice for physicalness in the early stages, i.e. kiss, but then shy away when the girl attempts it on the next day? Great question. So, biologically speaking, we men wanna get laid, we like physical connection. It's a very biological thing. I mean, I don't know how many women I've gone on a date I wanna kiss, but I may never wanna see again.  Chemistry is chemicals being released in our brain, dopamine, testosterone in women's cases, estrogen, oxytocin, it's released in our body that's like crack cocaine.   I'm gonna repeat that, I've literally, it's kind of like we have so biologically driven to mate with someone and then all of a sudden I've been absolutely flabbergasted at myself going why don't I like this person anymore? And I didn't understand this until I started to study chemistry and until you understand how powerful chemistry can be, we can wanna kiss someone one moment and never wanna see them again. Ladies, this has happened to you and it happens to men frequently. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying this happens. That's all, doesn't make it right, it just happens. People with emotionally mature people and even as emotionally mature as I'd like to think I am and believe me folks, let me be clear about something. Do not hold me to any standard of being the quintessential guy. I am riddled with flaws, I'm riddled with insecurities.  I'm not perfect and a lot of you act that way and I appreciate all the accolades I really do but I'm a mess just like everybody else. It's called being human, just like that track athlete that can't go to the Olympics. She said, I'm just human on what happened. Most men are not bad guys, they just don't understand this and until I learn this. And just like in the case of the man that asked the question, let me just share this.   And then we might realize that they're not the right person for us or we don't wanna make a promise we can't keep. I'm gonna repeat that. We don't wanna make a promise we can't keep and what that means is we don't wanna pursue something if our subconscious knows they're not the one. Let me repeat that. The subconscious knows they're not the one. That's where we oftentimes get blocks. Okay, this is an important piece to listen to right now. Ladies, men have a virtue button in their subconscious. They have a virtue button in their subconscious. I truly believe this. Most men, not all men. Many men, let me repeat that. Many men have a virtue button in their subconscious. When we know we're not gonna go the distance with someone, we begin to pull away, we begin to take space, we act wishy-washy because we are conflicted between what feels like, like it's a subconscious virtue and what I mean to say is we don't wanna lead you on anymore. Now I know this is really counterintuitive and it's frustrating, but folks until you study human behavior, this is why I recommend reading all these books when you understand that humans are riddled with flaws. Do you know the number one emotional health issue facing almost everybody is I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. That's most everybody, most human beings. We are conflicted on the inside. By the way, the book, The Untethered Soul. I really want you to read this book. In fact, I was listening to it this morning. Chapter, I wanna read you. Chapter one, the voice inside our head and chapter two, your inner roommate. The voice inside your head and the inner roommate.  It's absolutely confusing. We have conflicting thoughts all the time. You have it, I have it and everybody in this chat box has it. We have conflicting thoughts all the time. So when it comes to relationship, most of you ladies think whenever a man says is fact, I'm spitting right now, feelings aren't facts. Let me repeat that, feelings aren't facts. Feelings change all the time because there's a wide variety of feelings in life, okay? They're not facts, they're just feelings, okay? And this is where a lot of you get tripped up because you believe that when someone loves you, it means that you're right for one another. Let me just tell you, love doesn't solve relationship problems. Compatibility solves relationship problems. If you notice, I've talked lately about the iceberg, the iceberg, the top line says attraction and that says chemistry, okay? What does the bottom say? The big part of a relationship is compatibility, right here, compatibility, shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. Do you see that? That's what matters most in relationship, not chemistry is important, but there's a whole bigger picture to understand if you don't study human behavior. There fact, I invite you to study human behavior.  Start with my book, What the Heck Is Self Love? Anyway, link below. All right, I went on a rant there but thank you so much for that question, Lisa. All right, we're just gonna take one or two more questions before we wrap up today. All right, Terry says, women do the same things and pull away if a guy isn't the one to go the distance with, yes, women do this as well.  Sand writes, question, 11 years with a guy doesn't wanna marry me. He owns a house I pay monthly rent would be entitled to anything. He puts everyone else ahead of me. I deserve so much more. All right, folks, another perfect example of giving your power away is the relationship on his terms or your terms. If this is what you're experiencing and you're not happy, why are you with him? I get it, you have an investment together or whatnot but folks, you have a choice. Get busy living or get busy dying. Stop giving your power away. He'll never step up and choose you if you're choosing to accept bad behavior. Let me repeat that. He's never going to step up and choose you if you accept bad behavior. But that's on you. This is all on you. Yes, I understand he has bad behavior.  Folks, see this finger pointing at you? You see the three pointing back at me? You gotta take ownership on your part and I'm sorry for yelling at you and I'm gonna give you a big, gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of love but here's the thing, sweetheart. Start loving on yourself because it doesn't sound like you're in the relationship that you should be. At least that's my perspective with that. Okay, Lisa says, you just confirm my concerns, thank you. Kelly writes, communication and understanding but I have to have an emotional and spiritual connection with someone. I agree Kelly, thank you. All right, this will be our last question for the evening. Question, do you think it's possible that most high quality, secure attachment style men in our age range just aren't on dating apps because they aren't doing, because they are out there doing their own thing, no offense? Abby, great question. Believe it or not, I'm gonna bet less than 20% of the single population over 40 years old is actually using dating apps. I would say roughly 50% of people aren't even actively of that 100%. 20 are on dating apps, 50% aren't actively even trying. That includes emotionally secure people out there. And then the other 30%, in my opinion, are wishful thinking. They're hoping that somehow magic fairy dust will change this narrative. Folks, the reality is at our age, look it, I work as an example, I work from home, I walk the beach, I barely talk, I have no clue who is a single eligible woman out there. In my world, I have no idea. Well, except for here on YouTube. By the way, anyone who's single wants to date me, post a comment below. Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding. Maybe I should start using YouTube to meet women. But my point is, unless you're around single eligible people and putting yourself out there to be seen by single eligible people, it's gonna be very hard to connect unless you're actively maybe in a church group or some other group where you're surrounded by single eligible people or maybe asking friends to connect to you. I believe the vast majority of people are a very small percentage are actively using dating sites and dating apps. Now, a lot of emotionally unhealthy people, okay, I was just talking about a lot of emotionally unhealthy people use dating sites and dating apps. In fact, the vast majority of emotionally unhealthy people are the ones on dating apps. But those emotionally secure, healthy, happy people, I'd say maybe 20% or 30% are using dating apps and the others are just hoping that they bump into their soulmate in some magical way. I'm more proactive and I prefer to put myself out there to put the odds in my favor. Let me repeat that. I look at dating apps, dating websites as a spoke in the wheel. It's just putting yourself out there to be seen by as many people and hopefully the right person knocks on your door. And in my case, I hope the right woman sends me an email saying, Jonathan, I wanna ask you out because that would save me time. All right, folks, I wanna thank you so much for allowing me to enter your lives today. This has been a really fun one. I'm just gonna remind you, he'll never step up or choose you if you're doing this. If you're giving your power away, which includes the relationship is on his terms, you're afraid to speak your truth. When the relationship ends, you focus on him, waiting for him to constantly initiate contact.  Just remember, the first 100 hours of dating, that face to face time, that six to 12 week period, drive your own car, okay? Take turns treating each other on dates, take turns calling each other.  You can try it out and see what happens. If it doesn't work for you, nothing ventured, nothing gained. And I hope you found value in today's livestream. And for those listening to the recording, I hope you found value as well. All right, everyone, this would be a great time to wrap up today. I wanna thank you all for the super stickers, super chats, you've been very generous. I really appreciate all of you. I appreciate those questions, great questions. We're gonna wrap up today as what we always do. First off, I'm gonna give myself a big, gigantic shot at the barrel of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear, a pillow, and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch, bye-bye now, bye-bye.


ow what it is. So it's what it is, man. It's all love on this end, though, man. Can you see the Ravens? Oh, who can you see the Ravens taking in the draft? If they take a receiver? Yeah, Mike, if they take a receiver, will Seth Roberts be leaving? I don't know what's gonna happen. Willie Snead ain't going nowhere. But with Seth, I don't know what's gonna happen with Seth Roberts. I don't know. I really don't know. Appreciate you, King Stacey. I'm rooting for them to win the Super Bowl too, man. But nah, but he appreciated, man. Can we be honest and stop uptalking this Titans team? Saintine lost to the Texan less than a month ago? This Titans team ain't bad now, man. Appreciate that, Max. Thank you. Predictions for Sunday? Who plays the other game besides the, why, look, I don't know why. Who's the second game to Seahawks and the Packers? I think that's the day the Seahawks and the Packers play. Why couldn't that game be at three? That game should have been the one that should have been at three. Why would they put the Chiefs and Texans game on earlier? They should have put that game on last. That should have been prime time, man. Is ASC only on set? No, it's not. It's not. Because the Chiefs don't play on Saturday. I thought Chiefs play Sunday. I thought they mixed it up this week. Last week they mixed it up. But this week, I'm pretty sure they mixed it up, right? Let me see. Let me just double check. Nah, you got me getting confused. I'm pretty sure that they mixed it up this week, though. Okay, they did. Okay, see, perfect. But I'm pretty sure that the Chiefs go on Sunday and their game is first, which it shouldn't be. Cause I wanted to watch that game last on Sunday. So let me see. All right. So the 49ers play the Vikings early. So yeah, I'm going 49ers for that one. Then the Ravens play the Titans, Ravens. Oh, and last on Sunday, the Seahawks play the, I'm actually, I'm leaning more towards Kansas City. I'm leaning more towards them. For that last game, I'm torn. I just do not know. I don't know. I really don't know. And maybe that's why they set these games up like that anyway. Maybe they was like, you know what? The games that everybody kind of show on are the 49ers and the Ravens. But then the games where people like kind of, I don't know, are the Chiefs and the Packers. I just don't know, man. This is, I don't know. Like I said, for KC in Houston, I'm leaning a little more towards KC. I don't know for that Packers and Seahawks stole, man. I do not know. I don't know. So the Seattle game got the same feeling as the New England game. What you mean when you say that? Do you think in the next season to end up keeping Gus and Justice as back us considering the amount of weapons we have? Nah, I think, well, it depends on Mark Angel. Mark Angel could be the one that gets going. I don't think we're gonna keep both of them, too, for the long haul.  So, oh, is Carter up? Hold on. Oh, you wanna say hi to him? No, man, you can't say hi. You gotta go back to sleep. Carter, oh, yo, he's so sleepy.  All right, Carter's making me get off now because he said he was worried about me because it's late. So I'm gonna go ahead and check off now. So I appreciate y'all. I love y'all. And of course, sorry for the random cutoff, but gots to go. Love y'all, appreciate it. We had fun.  Appreciate y'all and we are out.


So hi everyone, I'm Michelle. I'm the VPP pull at 5a I if you've not heard of us We're a UK tech company taking on one of the biggest challenges in engineering and research of our time, which is autonomous vehicles So we are hiring shameless plug But if anyone out there is looking to go involved in autonomous vehicles, please come and say hi afterwards But the privilege that is completely mine this morning. I've got Dan and Otto Two of the the greatest team builders in Europe in my opinion. They scale teams fast and they scale them safely So if you'd like to introduce yourselves Sure, so Yeah, I've been a programmer for around about 20 years Been in doing all kinds of web stuff. I Join Twitter I was around about the hundred hundred twenty employees. So this is sort of Early on at the height of the fail whale, which is which is fun And grew as a manager in that company around the web team there And sort of saw that past IPO and then went on to join Deliveroo as VP of engineering and like the intro I said that team grew enormously. It was an amazing ride. We went from 12 engineers to 230 I believe Recently though, I left Deliveroo and I'm spending some time advising Companies and small startups on how to grow their engineering teams Welcome, Otto. All right. So my name is Otto Hill scum the chief product officer at smartly IO Which is one of the fastest growing B2B SaaS startups in Europe We're in the performance marketing space working with some of the biggest e-commerce companies in the world My background is I'm a developer. I started writing code when I was something like 12 Started my first company as soon as I was legally allowed to do that in Finland, which is at the age of 18 And then my previous company flow dock raised money from Silicon Valley. We sold the rally software Worked a lot with American companies in the history But now back here building the team at smartly to which I had first invested in and then I figured a little more hands-on approach Join them Nice. So we treat. I think between us. We've probably well, we've worked in investor-backed companies. We've probably hired Fired as well, maybe but certainly nurtured thousands of engineers and product teams So to keep this simple because I think we could talk about this all day I just want to sort of start off with the hiring process And then move into the transition that teams go through when you're very very small And there's a lot of founders here that when you're just starting out You've got those tiny teams pizza-sized teams and how you take that transition through To actually having a scale up with like you have done a couple of hundred people And then finally we'll wrap up with how you nurture those teams into high-performing Engineering teams. I don't know how we're gonna fit this all then we've got 23 minutes left So let's get this started Before you put your add-out before you get going What advice would you give people? Before you've even picked up the phone and spoken to an engineer. What's what's your kind of top tips for getting cracking? I'd say it's really really important to be prepared ahead of time Especially at the early start-up stage an interview can be quite a piecemeal experience I could tell tales of really really funny interview experiences with startups, but It's the candidate experience in an interview is really really important one of the things that you have on your side As a small company that really does help you recruit great people is your reputation in the industry You want everyone to who speaks to you to have a great experience for everything to be joined up for you to give them Decisions and feedback in a timely way and really have a directed Interview experience, so it's it's pretty much the day one thing that I'll do when I join a team I know that it needs to grow. I I look at what process there is for hiring all you know all of the way through from sourcing to first week in the job and You know revise that and make sure that everyone has a job their job that they need to do and the candidates experience is great Because everyone understands their part the role that they're playing almost It's all pre-organized so the candidate is just given that white glove service all the way through. Yeah, absolutely I mean you don't need to be Polished to the point that you're not showing the character of your company because that's also really important, but It's those important things like getting timely feedback Not having a candidate chase you for a yes or no answer or leaving them for days and days all of these kinds of things like be be very much Ready with with all of that and be timely is is the big thing. I think okay, okay Yeah, maybe my take would be that first of all when you're starting a company You probably don't know what you're gonna be doing as a company. You might not have a product market fit We need a team. That's going to be quite flexible You're gonna want to hire generalists without putting them to two specific boxes of roles and kind of what they're supposed to be doing Also developer hiring is extremely difficult and most likely if you're an early-stage company You are not going to be able to attract the best people right away because there's numerous things that developers are interested in like working with the best people and and working on a great technologies and also of course on the purpose of the company, but In the beginning you don't have much of that So it is going to be the founder most certainly selling the vision and and talking to to those developers Even if you might not be the expert in developer hiring You just have to get out there because it's not going to be anyone else who's going to be able to do it for you in the in the early days Also, you have to kind of take the approach of constantly trying to improve and I'm going to kind of raise the bar so Most likely you don't want to Appoint the first developer you meet as your CTO you most likely want to kind of start hiring developers constantly expand the teams Expertise kind of improve the skill set and then you'll start to see where where the biggest demand is Where do you want those specialized roles and so on that that flexibility and trying to detect that in your interview process is Really important because yeah, like you say it's you don't really know what you're going to be concentrating on and in the early days of a company you need the people to follow you there and One question that I've oh my god. I'm giving this away if I interview more people now One question that I really rely on to to to get that kind of information is I'll always ask a candidate What is the proudest? Achievement that they've done in their career so far and what I'm looking for there again I'm I can't use this question again kind of well But what I'm looking for there is for people to be, you know, genuinely interested in the impact that they're making for the business and not tell me about how they Refactored something or got to use the latest technology that that's fun But if if that's the only thing that an engineer is going to be motivated by then an Early-stage start-up is probably not going to be the right place for them So yeah, but it's a it's a huge thing and in those really early stages where you're you're You have constraints you've got both time and money constraints How much time would you spend on actually hiring and what advice would you give to founders and early-stage tech leaders? In terms of organizing their time Yeah, the team. Yeah, yes It's kind of a cliche that you should be spending half of your time on recruiting But I literally checked my calendar and I had spent 30 hours a week On hiring at some stages when we were really growing fast So and especially in the early days since I was running most of the recruiting process myself including kind of Getting the prospects in and validating their skills and everything else. So that did take a lot of time Of course now we have a lot of people and the team helping on that But yeah, it's a time sink it's The I think you need to apply the same Thinking that you apply for two other things about it like yes If you if you walk into a team and you know that it has to expand massively then that's where your priority is a leader of that Team should be however, I Really would rather put all of my effort into you know scaling that as an activity just like I would You know put my effort into building tools and platforms that help us scale further and so You know, it's all about getting those processes in place finding the right people Making sure all of your staff have interview training and are capable of doing interviews So you're not the one You know like anything is when you when you're a leader you you do not want to be the bottleneck. So That kind of thing is really important up front another reason why I'd say this is a thing that I a mistake that I've made now that I retrospectively of would never do again I think it's really important to to hire your managers or Or nurture your managers from the team up front because at the end of the day They're the people that you know help you scale that sort of human side of the team So that leaves me on to my next question is at what point in the team's growth Do you bring in a manager or do you home grow a manager? Yeah, well There's definitely different approaches to this at smartly. We always talked about the flat organization and everything that brings it with it Even to a point where it started to be harmful because people got too attached to the kind of flat hierarchy And not the benefits of it, which is of course that people are able to make the decisions themselves You get to talk directly and solve problems directly with anyone So we actually went quite far without any team leads or managers I think I had the 30 direct reports at the point where we established the team leads So we went pretty far But then again that again kind of goes with the same principle of building the flexibility in in the early days And we actually had a team that was able to work on almost any area of the code base and any area of the product And when you have a lot of these generalists from the early days and then you start scaling Then you have the knowledge already within the teams and then So for it's a lot easier for someone to come in as a new team lead for that So we it took quite a long for us But I think now we can all agree that it was a necessary change and and we we support this kind of a structure where someone is there to help you and And mentor you I want to come back to a point in a minute, but before we move on and Dan just touched on onboarding and making sure that things were set up, right? So you've spent all of this time kind of getting people into the funnel pulling them through an assessment process You make the offer They they agree at what point Do you do you think onboarding for small startups really important to get right and and what's great minimum viable onboarding experience? I think minimum viable is the is the key. I think with like with everything with startups you It's not appropriate to bring the kitchen sink of processes And I suppose that's another thing that you see quite a lot Someone will arrive from a larger company and they'll go okay And now we will set up all of the scaffolding of a giant company There is no need to do that But at the same time it it is really important to to get that that initial experience, right? Because I think the you know that that very first initial experience especially the first week and and you know going on past that Really sets the context under which you know that person really understands how the company works You know and we all know it can be an escape of scary experience of dropping into a new company especially one that's Moving relatively fast and especially a small one where you know You can make these kind of earth crushing mistakes because they don't have the checks and balances of a larger company and so you know really Working out what that means for your companies Really important and really watch that get feedback Something that we did a delivery is we quite regularly have a sort of on-boarding retro and get people in who've done the Done recently gone through the on-boarding experience listen to their feedback make changes and Evolve the process as we go That's cool, and it's not just swag on your desk and having a machine Well a machine and a chair. It's it's about being a productive engineer for right from the get-go and Otto you have An incredible culture Hamburg on your website and could you talk us through on boarding? At smartly and how does that how does that go? Yeah, the on-boarding at smartly is getting more and more intense all the time since we are kind of we keep Adding stuff actually the culture code is written by Siri who's here here in the front row and she did a great job in stealing Instilling kind of that taking what we had and putting it into great Quotes and kind of a practical example of what it actually means and and kind of writing it down Which of course we did quite a bit later Not in the early days then we had some black and white prints from the office printer about kind of core values But now we have a culture handbook that we talk about and that we share publicly People have often read that before they even apply so and that has been even a great source of candidates for us But really the whole on-boarding is something that It's not about as you said getting your laptop or getting the keys to the office but I would say the first two months which is when you should start to become more of a kind of productive in your role and For that first of all every role is a bit different every team is a bit different So you're gonna need a customized approach So we have a smartly buddy who's helping you in all of the Test and someone that you know that you can always ask from That said we always try to focus on the fact that you can ask from anyone But people just don't so it's it makes it easier if you assign someone specifically for that And then we just go through a lot of the different background of why we're approaching things like this What's the history of the company? What what what is the vision? What's behind it? We talk about the culture and the values and so on but then of course it's not about just Bringing in to the culture, but then you kind of reinforce that by your actions and how you kind of live it in the daily and weekly routines There's one thing I never thought I'd be saying this but Delivery we brought in Facebook for work. Is that what the product is called now? the private Facebook instance for for the company and And I personally thought it would be a terrible idea it turned out especially for onboarding to be a really useful tool because I found myself Directing everyone who joined the company to just like spend a day digging around this thing because Something that is really important for a new employee to really understand is the context like where where we How we got where we are now and and how that informs those decisions and and also the style of communication and all of that kind of thing and actually having Everyone brows all of the conversation about everything which is all in the open as well You know in which is a great thing Just allow people to sort of get up to speed and feel really comfortable being part of conversations and much more quickly So yeah, that was an unexpected lesson for me there And there you know there are lots of similar tools, but but that was great other tools are available. We use slack pin everything slack slack is harder to Read through the history of which was why we tend to use that for timely stuff, but the longer form Conversation or where it went on on Facebook, which is good. I Think my final question is around nurturing that early team those generalists that you hired Actually have a lot of the end-to-end Architecture and they know all the dark corners of your code base possibly better than you may How do you keep them when you're constantly onboarding new engineers every single week? What what kind of people processes would you suggest that early stage founders set up? And when should they be thinking about that to retain those early hires all the way through to 300? Do you well it depends do you want to I? Mean if you've got if you've got a gnarly gatekeeper of some code. I mean I think the When you identify That situation Those people are either gonna you know you put them in a position where they they eliminate their own bus factor and And either they thrive and are great at onboarding people Writing documentation and and getting people up to speed or they don't and I think if they don't you need to solve that problem really quickly because those things if left alone can get very ugly and You do not want to be in a position where you're having to you know Offer this that you know the the gnarly gatekeeper of the dark corner of the code An enormous amounts of money you know pre some giant funding round later on down the line It's really worth. Yeah, like don't have that situation Yeah, I would say for retaining developers of course the keys that your work should have a purpose you should Understand that what you're building affects the outcome of the company and you shouldn't see that actual people are using what you're building So we bring developers very close to customers We invite all of our biggest customers to visit us in Helsinki So every couple of weeks or every week we have someone who's spending two days workshops meeting each of the development teams And with that kind of things when you actually see that what you just built It actually has an impact and someone's actually someone's Work just got a lot better because of what you did In our case of a B2B software I think that that's one of the key drivers then of course there's things that make you lose developers Which is if you do stupid things like you limit people's ability to solve problems by putting them to specific roles that Don't allow them to make some decisions and so on or kind of have lots of control on who gets to make those decisions So one of our core principles has been always to empower the teams to make all of the decisions The teams maintain their own road maps They have a higher level goal and based on that they built their road maps and kind of decide how to balance that work So by giving that flexibility the teams have the freedom to improve Their work all the time then of course still keeping the hiring bar high because at some point if you realize that I'm working with people that I don't Want to work with you're gonna be out pretty soon Yeah, absolutely, and I think a lot of people you know when when you talk about keeping the hiring bar high You know you would imagine you get better and better and more technical people but in a in a way I would value raising the hiring bar in terms of people skills Is as more you know more highly really because as the as the team gets bigger The the more their job everyone's job is going to involve working with people And and it and I think it takes of Sometimes it can take a different kind of person to thrive in a you know a 10 person team and it can in a hundred person team And you know like that that's fine But it's worth it's worth sort of watching out for and understanding that Quick question because I'm just conscious of time at what point do you introduce career paths and Career ladders for your engineers is that with the flat hierarchy up to 30 and then Through the next phase of growth at what point did you introduce that kind of formal structure? I Think it's really worth having an idea of what that might be at the start and the reason I think that's important is Not because you want to go and tell everyone in your 10 person team exactly kind of what their title is but because I Suppose my my personal philosophy with with compensation is I like to think at any point in the company You know if I threw everyone's salaries and and benefits up on a on a board for everyone to see can I Explain to everyone, you know exactly why they fit where where they fit So I think from from that point of view. It's really good to understand where you're going Both so you can you know have have some plan going forward for compensation As the as the team grows and also so you can let people know that there is Opportunities for them and they don't have to jump it into a different company to to continue progression They don't have to jump into management to continue progress progression like So yeah, there's a few things there, but again, it's one of those things where I don't bring the kitchen sink and you know have a 72-point hierarchy of everyone in the company and all that kind of thing Okay, so Yeah, yeah, I would kind of go back to the original approach of Keeping it really flexible and simple in the early days as long as you can We don't have any Titles with developers everyone's a software engineer. That's it For making salaries transparent. We do have a leveling system nowadays We just introduced this year. So that's a relatively new thing But I think instead of thinking of development as this one-dimensional Thing I would rather see people focusing on what can I do to develop my learning and what are all the dimensions? Where I can work on that and I can take ownership of big projects Like I could be leading the project that ends up building half of the company's revenue That would be a great accomplishment. I'm sure that would be rewarded There's other ways of how can I improve the engineering team's ways of working? How can I help in recruiting? There's so many of these dimensions where you can help and be proactive and I think focusing on this seniority Label is is counterproductive to that Yeah, absolutely. I think it's all about impact on the on the on the success of the company in whichever way is and Different engineers. I've seen impact the company in really different ways Some some engineers have a huge impact because they're the life of the team and they and and they're the Person that everyone goes to to you know answer questions or some people are huge Have a huge influence on hiring and all kinds of things. There's lots of different ways But it's like it's impact that should be rewarded It's the best piece of advice you've been given in your own careers So a long time ago when I was at Twitter and when it was quite small dick Costolo who was CEO at the time used to run Management courses for all of the new managers personally And this isn't strictly about recruiting But one thing that he said to me which has stuck with me all the time is whenever you're having a difficult conversation with someone You need to optimize for clarity not for them leaving the room feeling better And I I think that that piece of advice sort of is Influenced me massively. That's awesome. And then my final question to you or so is if you could go back ten years What would you say to it to yourself back then? Yeah, so I was actually in the audience of slush ten years ago in the first first event So I would say one thing I really learned about running companies not necessarily just about building engineering teams It's all about the speed of execution and mostly startups just run out of time And if you spend all this time kind of trying to come up with processes for whatever Compensation what all kinds of other things you are going to be spending that time while your focus should be on your Customers and there's many ways you can execute faster. You can learn from others. You can get great mentors And so on and and and that can be a great short cut That helps you move move a lot faster and because otherwise the company will eventually just run out of money when you Don't reach enough to All the iterations that you would have needed. That's great. So it's a wrap-up. I've got a long shopping list here But code your culture early And make sure that you do have a hiring process. It won't slow you down It's actually there's a reason why we have hiring process on board really well to get engineers productive as quickly as possible keep the bar really high throughout the years of building the team and Keep empowering them and make and taking care of their careers Thanks, everyone. I think that's a wrap


Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. Oh, yeah, you can hear my voice already.  I'm really sick That doesn't stop me from playing for my or sitting on my computer and that's what I'm doing right now new skin new me I bought this new skin because as you can tell it has an Absolutely gorgeous personality one of the nicest and best personalities of any skin that I have ever purchased in my whole life But yeah, we're gonna do all see how many wins we can get in a couple hours So me and Manor teacher gonna teach them kids some manners despite my voice. I'm sorry about that Let's hit a rift and just like Swan dive just find anybody Where do you want to land let him drop down Down In a double barrel these guys had this stuff Yeah Contribute to the team dude.   Oh wait, I can probably smoke. Oh good toss. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Come on.  I'm not with you right now Is he right here? Oh, I see his head. He's Trying back up to me. Okay.  Yes, I can Yeah, oh the slurp will bring me back. I think these are peaking a 60.  We're good I Mean I can literally bring his Let's do this chase Come here Oh I'm maxed wood. I don't know they might be shooting at the dude I don't know. I just moved up come to circle. Come to circle. Nope.  That was such a good first game. Nice snipe dude. That's beautiful. Good times. All right, let's go back to back now He's a hundred percent He opened another door Pump is not enough dude, you need a pump in an SMG pro the minigun is the new wave if you want to win a game Okay, shoot at me. Oh, he shanked every single bullet.   There's a raven behind me. They even notice Look out. Look out. There's a Raven flanking you guys. He's down here. Oh, I see him Yeah, that other guys good There's a guy building You're dead. Oh, you're good. I got you. I got I'm firing up the mini. Yeah, I got one dot. Yeah Just stood on top of that thing Oh from south. Oh, they're up there. Oh right behind him. Yeah, I'm backing up He's in the white He's pushing me.  Is your off-server back on NA East? Yeah, it feels like it's not.  That's why my pink so bad Is it on an Oceania? Oh my god, I'm on Brazil That's not my pinks at 124 and bro That's why we've been shitting on these kids. These kids are ass-cheeks. They play on Brazil servers That's why all of our pinks Pull squad right next to me guys.    Yes, rip it Definitely heard those are where I come.  Is that shit?    God these kids are bad. I'm never playing in this no wonder I carry you chase we were on Brazil Pull medkit in my Okay I Know how to get on before heels.  Oh, that's so annoying. Yeah Ladies and gentlemen, that's it for this accidental Brazil servers game next time. I'll actually be on it Yep, I'm on auto servers now actually Thanks for watching as always Peace out


Hi everybody, I'm Joe for jaskiescasebreaks.com and that is 2022 tops museum collection baseball brand new release Just dropped here today on Wednesday. This is pick your team number three some great stuff here fresh case half case from a fresh case big things to This group right here for buying your team straight up, which I appreciate here on Wednesday the 7th 2022 Oliver that last spot mojo Rocky before we pulled the remaining teams out For this for this big 14 team random number block randomizer, which we did in a separate video if you're looking for that Thanks, everyone set that aside to my left over here. Did I upload that video? I don't think I did Let's upload that video. So this is a half case from a fresh case Second half in the store right now jaskiescasebreaks.com no fillers yet No fillers yet. Yeah, Matthew McConaugh. All right. All right. All right. I keep getting older Diego and 2022 museum collection stays the same age Empty box. There's all the 12 boxes here six on the left side six on the right side We roll this die here 123 for the left side four five six for the right side Six one two three four five six This side we'll save for next time, which will be a pick your team for Now there's a good chance. What time is it right now? You know, there's a good chance That Do this tonight perhaps maybe it is new release night. We should try to do as much of that as possible Diego I am not an Android Not an Android. Don't look at those old videos. I haven't aged a bit That furthers the Android case. Don't look at those Not an Android. I'll bet I could pass that I could pass that Blade Runner Replicant test Whatever that was called. I could pass that easily It's like a book or a frame Interesting unless I just overhyped it for myself and it's not Definitely not a cyborg. I'm I am a flesh and blood just like you made of complex carbons and hydrogens and Nitrogens and different cells and chromosomes and Not all that sort of stuff. Do now. That's just rude. You know, I can read that. I mean That those those strings of ones and zeros mean nothing to me. Oh, there it is the book That's fancy and a telier autograph. I wonder is it a Is it a multiplayer book where where one person is happy and another person's sad or is it Showed the ruck a little or a little extra bass card back there We'll see. There's Willie May six out of 99 for the Giants. That's For Giants six and that's for Giants two Giants are a number block team Right. We saw a glimpse of that relic. It's Alex Bregman 19 out of 50 That's gonna go to Bobby and the Astros That's a good book idea. Chipper Jones hitting batting left-handed and right-handed on Each side of the book. Why don't they have that? There's Jose Ramirez 24 out of 25 nice quad relic for Cleveland This is for you in number four for the DX line Josh with Cleveland four And then it'll be double autograph to right Diego your Chipper Jones idea one autograph For this left hand and one autograph for this right hand That's what I make them do. We got Max Kepler dual relic and auto That's for the twins twins Jarrett with Minnesota 91 out of 399 Does it say anything on the front? No All right. Good luck everybody. What do we got here? We have Gold ink autograph. It's Gavin sheets. Wow. That is nice. Look at that nice picture of stadium Gold ink autograph right in the book a giant Gavin sheets right there. He looks massive. He looks like he's the size of a stadium That's awesome. That goes to the White Sox Joe Christian picked up the White Sox straight up. That's 21 out of 25 Congrats. It's a good-looking card. Right. Gila was like, that's not a booklet. That's a mural and it belongs in a museum That's my Indiana Jones impression So do you dr. Jones. So do you We named the dog Indiana a lot of fond memories of that dog More more River Phoenix it belongs in a museum belong belongs in a museum. I don't know how he's that That's not how the force works Get off my plane is that that's pretty good.  Here's my impression of Harrison Ford in Sabrina. Hey Sabrina Got it nailed it There's Anthony Rizzo. It's 99 Remember these non numbered base cards for those 14 teams on the other list will be Will be randomized as one lot to one person to break Temple of doom is chronologically before Raiders of the loss are there's MJ Melendez dual relic and autograph Gilo, you've never seen Indiana Jones because you barely ever when they came out. You remember something about monkey brains. Yeah, that was a Temple of doom, I believe You should really re-watch those and they are they are 105 out of 149 they're pretty classic at least the first three Royals Kenneth with Kansas City Behind the reproduction sketch card of Otani and it's Gavin sheets another Gavin sheets blue ink this time 165 out of 299 that is for Joe and the White Sox. It's worth a watch Jilo. There's Austin Hayes 21 out of 75 Yeah, MJ Melendez is that is that is that future Salvador Perez right there Supposed to be pretty good 21 out of 75 Austin Hayes Orioles Aaron Miller with the O's and we've got some Stroze Lance McCuller is 20 out of 25 for Bobby next box Michael By chance, we'll be breaking 2021 selects first off the line tonight. Yes. If it sells out, I will do it Is it sold out? Did that filler sell out? No, well that filler only has 13 spots left. So if it was up to me Michael I would say yes, we will break that tonight, but it's not up to me It's up to you and the people who want to buy spots in the breaks Really temple of doom is 1935 and Raiders lost out 1936, but Raiders lost our came out first. You gotta re-watch that. Um, I don't know if this is a controversial opinion But uh Temple of doom It's just okay to me. I think I would put Probably Raiders of the Lost Ark is my favorite. I think then last crusade then temple of doom Even then I'm not sure if I really like temple of doom that much. I feel like it was Yeah, Logan things the same thing. I feel like it was less. I feel like it was less sort of Indiana Jones being an archaeologist in like these odds it just seemed more like there's more like kind of gross out Which which is fine, but it's just like I just didn't feel Indiana Jones eating me There's too much like hey, let's see what gross stuff we can do in this and it was more like gags as opposed to Something a little bit more Concrete, I don't know Yeah, the crystal skull one I wasn't too fond of as well Doesn't really move the needle for me It's Derek Jeter 750 for the Yankees Jonathan and we got Brandon Lowe dual relic and autograph. Yeah short rounds pretty good in a In temple of doom There's some good There's some good touching moments at the end of that movie, but 371 out of 399 Bobby Lowe Brandon Lowe not Bobby Lowe We got a quad relic Walker Bueller get well soon Walker Bueller doesn't that glove look massive in his hands? It might be a perspective thing, but it looks Maybe it's a normal size. I don't know like for some reason it looks gigantic to me That's for the Dodgers Dodgers John John are with the Dodgers the relic poppin early here 25 out of 50 Eloy Jimenez for Joe I do know what they say about massive gloves if you have massive gloves. You got a massive hand a glove probably causes injury Right, he's compensating for the glove as he's throwing putting extra strain on his elbow. I get it Jilo. You're right. You're right And there's a artist proof Mike Piazza Interesting not numbered and a reproduction, but an artist proof All right Mets are a number block team that'll be part of the non numbered group Now the the I can't I don't remember his name, but the kid in the short round the kid in the movie Did he didn't he end up becoming like a big martial arts guy? In Hollywood Like he ended up being like a martial arts trainer or for actors or a stunt person or a Consultant or something like that In his adult years a stunt choreographer Diego saying yeah, there you go. That makes sense And he's like super tall too like my height like really tall You know just an imposing an imposing figure in any room just so tall Is that an actual sketch card right there? Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, baby That's a one solo sketch card and the nationals Are a random number block team no one wanted to get the national straight up And that's a one of one So Washington one That's for the x-line josh x-line Wow, that is great all aboard the big hit express I'm trying to find out figure out like what sort of Medium they're using I feel like the pre I don't have the previous one. I feel like the previous one we got Looked more like Looked more like color pencil. I think there's more of a pastelli kind of feel here I feel like the other one was like color pencil watercolor Maybe pen for the outline of the figure here, but this looks a little more Maybe the pen kind of gets the face here, but More of a oil pastel kind of look Can't tell I guess we'll have to ask phil About this. I love the sketch cards. I think are pretty awesome There you go. Congrats josh Did we do the train whistle? All aboard the big hit express whoop whoop I'm so I'm very excited about the sketch car. There's garret coal Quad relic that is for the yankees jonathan g with the bronx bombers There's just in more note 37 out of 50 for jared and the twins No, that is not one so those are that's the auto of the of the artist Are the artists are saying hey, this is one soto By the way, all right, these are these are the sketch reproductions right there That's going to go to the sun's pc. Nice I like that. Oh The man of steel. I I I am the greatest greatest greatest of all time time triple relic And autograph for the ace the oakland ace random number block team. So that goes to oakland eight And that will be that's also for the x-line And there's dj le mayhew for the yankees 26 out of 35 It's also for jonathan g G low. I think in previous years um I feel like previous they've gotten much I feel like in previous years sometimes you were like Who is that and they didn't put the person's the player's name on the back. So it would get confusing for some of the For some of the players Hunter green to 99. So i'm glad they started putting the player name on the backs there Be like that's it's a nice sketch, but we don't know really who that is Now wait the x-line said that that one soto sketch one of one Is for the sun's pc, but then he put a winky face on there I don't know how josh uses the wing face, but I use the wing face as in as like air quotes Yeah, that's for the sun's pc Which means leads me to believe that it's not for the sun's pc That's going to go into josh x-lines personal collection. That's what that leads me to believe Oh, it is actually first pc. Okay I was just i was just making sure It goes to the sun's pc if it grades out of nine. It's a ps8 10 then maybe Any home runs for erin judge in game two? I don't I feel like someone would have said something if there was But he did in the first game of the doubleheader. He did He did hit uh number 55 All right, here's a vedal brujan 24 out of 50. That'll go to raise number four And we've got the david orteez revealing the jackson koar 25 out of 25 Kenneth with the kensley royals There's an o'neill cruise rookie card and that reveals a tim salmon 241 out 299 is he's got to be part of the He's easily part of the all fish team, right Tim salmon mike trout in the outfield. That's a pretty good fish outfield Especially a tim salmon's defense Here's o'neill cruise rookie card for the pirates. That's part of the non-number group Which is represented by that pile right there Derek jeter and wander franco dual relic and autograph rookie patch and auto A live sticker auto as well so many times. He's a redemption. That's for the raise. Nobody wanted the raise straight up the number seven zero Slash goes to number zero And that is david m with the zero And last spot mojo about the last full spot straight up Congrats, and we got a teosca hernandez seven out of 35 Toronto seven that'll be for the x-line All right final box coming up. Thanks everybody See what we got in here Anything else sold out after this? It kind of was taking my time in this break. It's just because museum collection is such a nice break Am I in a rush to finish this break? I don't think so. I don't think anything else is sold out at the moment We could get to that select football tonight. It's only 13 left in that filler and each filler spot's only $16.99 Yeah, Diego, we would put catfish hunter would be A starting pitcher on that all fish team Are we putting a mic carp? At first base. I think he played first, right? Or was catfish hunter a relief pitcher? It's been a while since I've seen catfish hunter play Also, whatever their whatever material they're using for the mini box wrapper really nice Really nice It's just like a slightly thicker than your standard shrink wrap gives it a real sturdy feel Must be that uh, maybe tops just using a better quality right there On that shrink wrap maybe using a little bit of that fanatic smoke. All right gang final box It's been a good half Let's finish strong And let's keep working on the second half Let's keep working on it tonight There's hammer and hank 70 out of 150 and you know what I'm not sure what's guaranteed in this The last case we got also had a sketch card So is there a sketch card per case or have we just gotten lucky? Also does that book Does that mean does that replace the frame we haven't seen the frame that's traditionally been one per case the frame So I don't know what the one per case or stuff is anymore But we might and there might be a chance at the gold frame or a frame Usually gold I think you can get lower number of frames to which are different colors But a framed hit framed auto in the second half is a possibility Jasper's case breaks.com We got Justin Verlander 19 out of 75 Diego I should look up the all body part and all weather team I would say Brad hand would be on one of the all body teams Storm Davis will definitely be on the all weather team That's for sure. Those are the two body and uh And weather names that pop up here. What about the all food team? Jake burger. Mmm 263 out of 299 I long for the day The Bartola colognes on the all body team nice I long for the day where Jake burger and Seth beer have a dual auto One of these manufacturers someone's got to have a sense of humor here Let's get a Jake burger Seth beer dual auto Chili Davis would be on the all all food team There's Keston here at nine out of 35 That's for the brew crew. That's a number block team. Joe christian by the way Sorry, I got distracted by the burger Joe, but Joe christian gets the uh gets the Jake burger autograph Keston here. Milwaukee's a number block team that goes to milwaukee nine And that will be for the x-line Right Mmm. Cocoa crisp would be on the all food team Daryl strawberry All food team All right, our final hit ladies and gentlemen It is for Joe. Yasmine grandal dual relic and autograph And that is going to be numbered to 357 a saturday night special 323 out of 357 That's for Joe christian Nice break everybody. We've got a sketch card some nice autos We got the Gavin cheats a tele auto book And we got some randomizers to do this represents the non numbered cards for those 14 teams on that random number Lock i'm going to show you this again Let's flip back to the list There are the teams There's the number block list right there. So let's gather all the names here So one person will get all the non numbered cards of those teams New dice new list. Good luck Name on top gets it after Two and a three five times one two three four And fifth and final time name on top david m sketch card and the non numbered base cards including This o'neill cruise rookie card and this artist proof canvas collection reproduction There you go some nice stuff some extra stuff going your way. I'm joe for jaskiescasebreaks.com I'll see you next time for the next break. Bye. Bye