Good evening. Good afternoon for some of you all. Good morning. Hope you all are doing well. Hope you all have had a wonderful fantastic week My week has been one where I found out I didn't have COVID but I feel like I do and so I'm almost disappointed that I Went through all this pain and suffering only to be called a cold or a flu So it is what it is, right? That's kind of how weird men are I guess we want to know that we went through something, right? So anyway This particular topic people have brought up and People have been especially a lot of women, but but also men as well again men as well This topic is old This topic has been talked about over and over and over again. There is no way that What we will say tonight will fix everything on the planet That's not how it works, right? Because some of the issues that we deal with that we'll talk about tonight They've been talked about on the planet forever as long as there was maybe not what Eve But maybe who knows what did Adam do when God said Why have you done this thing? What did he do he her? She did it matter of fact She did it and you gave her to me this woman you gave me right and so From that moment on there's been all these different clashes when it comes to different Issues regarding relationships whether you are single whether you are married whether you used to be married whether you are not married But you want to be not now but in the future whether you want to stay single these different things happen or discussed and Some for some reason we don't never get to the heart of it But the fact of the matter is God made us all different And when I say all I mean he made men different than women He made older men different than younger men He made older women different than young women. That's kind of the natural progression of life But we don't seem to get this. So I want to Bring in a guest in just a second. But guys, I want you to also to do this I'm going to put a link In the uh in the comments in just a second. I'm sorry not in the comments. I'm sorry. I won't do that I want you to email me. I'm gonna put my email in The chats and if you want to come on Uh towards the end because we're gonna start talking about some things and obviously you're gonna have some Some some feelings about it. You're gonna have your own opinions And you may want to come on and share them or ask a question And so we want to tackle this issue dealing with relationships from a biblical perspective And so without further ado, I want to bring on my brother In the lord, uh, brother jermaine from that christian fam channel brother jermaine. How you doing? Hey, i'm doing good, bro. How you doing? I am excellent. I'm wonderful.  This is how Um christians can get along Um, I love the lord and so because of that. I don't like the dallas cowboys But jermaine does and so we still can fellowship. Amen I don't know if i'm a amen that you gonna make me get my dallas cowboy hat here in a minute I'm gonna make me get my dallas cowboy hat You don't know what to say everything on the right side is is the uh on this side of screen is good Everything on that side is the ungodly side, right? Anyway, okay, but if you if you say so But guys, I want you all to be in favor now I will put a link to his channel Actually, he and his wife's channel in the uh in the descriptions after this But if you haven't done so, um when we're finished make sure you go to that christian fam channel And subscribe. All right But now that being said we want we want to cover some things regarding Relationships and course in the title you saw it said high value relationships. Well it's for some reason and I I I did a A video people have been asking me to cover this this gentleman Uh kevin samuels who has he didn't I guess he didn't make the term But he is popularized the the the the phrase of the term a high value man or high value woman And I I am fully convinced that a christian just I don't understand why you would listen to him or watch him We'll talk about him probably in a second But before we go to him or anything else we want to talk about What really is because if you're going to have a high value relationship We're going to borrow the term If you're going to have a high value relationship You ought to have or ought to be Involving a high value man and a high value woman. So I want to ask Jermaine just from your standpoint, what do you think a high value man is or a high value woman is? Well, first of all, I believe that a high value man is someone that loves the lord first and foremost And I know that makes sound cliche and that makes sound corny, but that's just the truth because Honestly, those of us who are in christ are really the ones who are alive And those who are outside of christ are the ones who are dead And so nothing is worse than hitching your wagon to someone who was spiritually dead All right, so first and foremost, I believe that A high value man is someone that knows the lord not just a god, but jesus christ the son And the father and has accepted jesus christ their lord the saviour Secondly a man that actually is responsible and actually has some type of Job some type of way of providing some type of way of being Even though he may not be employed. He may have his own business. He may be on our entrepreneur or whatever But a man that has integrity enough to have some structure to his life I believe that that is a high value regardless of the dollar amount He has because you can have some people Who earn a lot of money with no integrity and you have people who don't earn a lot of money with a lot of integrity So those are the two things that I believe Qualify you as a high value man and then also of course, there's some other attributes But I don't want to get too far into it But those are some of the basic qualities that you need to have someone that loves the lord And is responsible has structure to their lives and I could say the same thing for a woman as well I could say the same thing for them Let me ask you this And because I I I want to cover him And here's the reason why I really want to cover him Because I get these guys who After watching the video that I did about him Will make these comments you're jealous you're this you're that he's doing what the what the church Hadn't done and so forth and oh by the way inside the the church You've got a bunch of weak men and and homosexuals and my retort is you've got more outside the church Than you do inside the church, but oh by the way Since we're on the clown on the church If you've got weak men and homosexuals and and every other kind of scene They should be in the church. That's exactly the right spot for them to be matter of fact get your tail in the church How about that? But my awesome mother retort is that the video was made for christians christians should not watch or listen to this man Well, he says some he makes some good points. Well, so did satan satan makes some good points I mean he's not going to just give everything that's just wrong because you'll turn them on And so anybody the the points that he's making medea makes those points, right? so A lot of people make good points But it's his solution also the kind of the attacking Nature that he has but then also the fact that brother you've rated yourself as a nine. No, you're not so that being said I've often wondered who calls in to kevin show I don't again. I'm not a An avid watcher or listener but When I look at the people that actually call into him like, why are you calling in to him? You're you One so you can insult you But two That's what that's where you think you're going to get the solution from it. It's just it's mind boggling to me And and again, I don't have necessarily anything against my have I have something against his tack I have something against his solution Uh, you know calling these women out and so forth not that that and clearly He hadn't been trained on how to do it Um anything that's looking for anyone that's looking for what he has to offer If you're looking for a husband and well, he's not a husband So why are you talking to him in the first place? That's just me But I don't know if you have any any thoughts on uh on kevin samuels or not Well, there is a lot of uh, I guess Fallacy that he spits but then there's also a lot of truth that he spits in and you know one of the characteristics And I'm not saying that this man is the devil So don't y'all run out first and that that germane said that kevin samuels k s was the devil But what I'm saying is just like you said quarry, um that uh, the enemy, uh, you know knows how to speak as well And you know all he does has to do is spit Tell a whole bunch of truth with a little bit of lie What a little bit of lie ruins what you say and so um, I think that there's a lot of uh Nuggets that he may say However at the end at the end of the day, it seems like it always goes left like You start off okay But then the end result is something that is far from god because he Professors to be a christian well if you profess to be a christian then We we got a problem and we we actually need to talk about some stuff because the the end result of what you're saying does not sound does not fit Uh a christian or the bible all right. It does not it's not fitting in the eyes of jesus. It's not pleasing to god So we can't be uh pseudo christians, you know, you know that sort of pseudo christian We're christian enough to look christian But really when you drill down We're really not christian at all And so I actually talk about a little bit of that on my channel with the pseudo christian woman And I'll be covering the pseudo christian man here in a little bit as well my uh One of my one of my best friends from college Absolutely loves kevin samuels Just loves them Now my one of my best friends from college Has not been very successful with women And so he takes out his anger his frustration He looks for a place where he can vent or find solitude or find comfort Agreement and so he gets it there and so to say because this is what I don't I I can't I can't understand this Whoever I would think to be and you can do the same thing matter of fact anyone can do this just just a little quick little Game think of someone prior to the last few years that you would think that is a A man's man a real man a high value man, right? Which of those men if they had the opportunity would ever watch kevin samuels for any advice? None not none that I know None that I know and so you you already saying what kind of man you are by going to him now again He does give some some truth. He's not saying anything that Other real men have stated women. There are certain things that you ought to be about and that's kind of where Where I want to go next Is because I also think that that he he gives a faulty portrayal of what a man is This is just I agree guys guys Y'all this is me My circle the men that I know and run with Real men men and take care of their business that handle things up He can't run with us. He can't he can't come around us one. He's too. He he's too into himself He's the kind of guy that one of the guys in the group Would want to jump on and the rest was trying to pull him off of them because Yeah, we don't run like that, right? Um, yeah, but there's there's a reason why he has a platform People are having issues with their relationship be they black white single female, whatever, right? Well, yeah Go ahead Well, you know, it's kind of like a perfect storm If you notice when his platform really started taking office when the pandemic really hit it's it's high And you had a lot of people a lot of women specifically who were left At home they weren't around males every day they weren't Socializing with people and so forth and so when you're left with your own thoughts oftentimes you can reflect and say Well, why don't I have someone? Why don't I have a companion? Why don't I have a husband? And so because for three four years four or five years he talked to men And then when the pandemic hit he started talking to more women And he started talking to some of the issues there as to why You may not have a husband and so forth. So it was a perfect storm It was a perfect opportunity Because a lot of women were going to you know, what we all do we go to youtube go to google You know how to found how to find love how to find a man hot. Why am I why am I single all this other stuff and That makes with the algorithm. It was a perfect storm. And so I never I never knew anything about them until Just just a few months about a week or no, I'm sorry about a couple weeks before I actually put the video out Was the first I even heard about the guy. So What I do know is this And it's always been this case They used to always ask they probably still do Women would ask well, where we're all the good men and that's kind of you know, still what they're asking Maybe in various ways But I think what women need to understand about men Many to understand how men are how men are put together how God created them But then the same holds true for for men Obviously many to understand what how women are how they're put together how how God has has created them because God God is the one who did the creating right and so If you want to find out how something works Go to the owner I mean go to go to the to the manual the person or the the company or in this case God who created The thing that you're trying to figure out how it works, right? And so Oftentimes, you know, we have the answer we just because guys guess what? This really isn't difficult. It's really not we make it difficult, you know emotions get involved Our own thoughts misunderstandings and so forth and kind of complicates what we're doing, but oftentimes Women get upset because the man is not like her Right, doesn't feel the way she feels or thinks the way she thinks or moves the way she moves But if if he did guess what he would be He'd be a woman be a woman And men get Bob because I know that we are different And that's one of the we'll talk about later Male and female are different and I think that's something we're getting confused nowadays But we'll talk about that later as well much so very much So it's that and I know I know that's one of the things that you definitely wanted to bring up because it is throwing It was I said it's not difficult But whatever difficulties there are in in relationships the coping proportions of it It's made even more so because of how feminism and and and things like that These different philosophies have have crept in and then they're being pushed in the media And so when people are sitting around at home because you know what's funny One of the things that I noticed and it's troubling and this is and and and ladies this is not an issue for you Men this is an issue for you Matter of fact ladies you ought to keep your eye out for this But there were certain things that were created for the eyes and the ear for the consumption of women Daytime soap operas were created for women, right? Some of these nighttime shows that were created the the demographic they had in mind were Ladies from the ages of 18 to 35, but you see men consuming these some of the the real housewives type stuff and and But you see men watching it and then after that gossiping about it Something's wrong with with with the way the men are Right, it's like Guy asked me did did did did you watch um, uh, Atlanta housewives? I'm looking at this dude Man How was they around what age? The guy was a few years younger than me a few years See it I could see if he were if he were in his 20s or 30s but This guy was just a few years five six years younger than me and like you This what you watching. Okay. Okay. I see why you I see why you have these same emotions these films on the outside of you like you shouldn't have so but The problem with I think that women have for the most part Is that they can't find or it's hard to find some men who know Who absolutely knows what it means to be a man? Hold on. Hold on. I don't mean to interrupt, but they're asking me a question. Is this beer? And yeah, it comes out that way because I'm a southern dude. I don't say beer Uh, but notice isn't beer. Um, this is actually apple juice. I have it in a beer mug. Uh, just Because I like it to be honest with you. Plus, I know people Always have something to say. So just in case here's a conversational piece for you. There you go. Now. Listen, I'm drinking beer. How about that? I'm kidding. I'm not drinking beer But back in the day when we were when we were younger The men in the neighborhood they would pull us around the back And uh, uh, let us drink beer with them. And so I remember as a As a four and five year old back in the back with the man Uh, drinking beer I couldn't stand it. But you know, I'm I'm trying to be a man, right? And so going back into our into our point I'm trying to be a man trying to figure out what it means to be a man Uh, I knew this though. I knew men worked I knew men took care of uh, responsibility. I knew men had had some, you know, some rough hands I'm not saying that the guy has to go out there and don't know whether you can work is to Is to work with your hands But I just had this definition of what a man was and that while mama might be complaining He was trying to get things taken care of That can be a problem also trying to always fix things whatever but but It used to be that boys grew up wanting to be a man I'll never forget this young this young fella asked him What do you want to be when you grow up and he said a man? Blew me away It blew me away, right because you don't have men want to be men nowadays. So anyway, go ahead and finish with what you were saying No, I mean, and that's simply what I was saying and it actually leads into another thing We were going to talk about with um, just wanting to be um a godly man and and I say that to say this because I think one of the problems that we have Oh, well, I actually I don't want to get too far ahead But uh, one of the problems that we have is that we're not raising Women to be wives and we're not raising boys to be husbands You know And I always hear the excuse well, you know, I wasn't raised this way I wasn't raised that way that only goes so far with me and I say that to say this Court and and by the way, I've never drank beer in my life ever ever. I've never drank liquor Whisky and that and that stuff. So that's not to say that I'm better than any other Christian That's just my testimony. All right. I've never drank. I've never been drunk never had alcohol never smoked a cigarette None of that stuff had plenty of cousins and plenty of friends who did But I saw the end result of what they were doing and I said no, I don't want no part of that. All right so anyways Going back to uh, how we're raised or whatever and like, you know, well, it's not their fault. They weren't raised to be well Here's the thing that only goes so far because If you really aspire to be something, you'll be it. I say that to say this I was not raised in a christian household like in other words I wasn't raised in the church. I wasn't raised from From two years old one years old in the church whether I didn't come to the faith till I was in my late late teens All right And actually my wife is one of the people who actually led me to christ and well I'll talk about that a little bit more on my channel. But anyways I did not see an example of a godly man in my household I saw an example of a man All right, my pops was in the military And I am from lauten oklahoma shout out to the 580 area cold in case y'all ain't no But anyways, I am born raised lauten oklahoma. All right anybody from oklahoma say say what up in the chat um, but anyways My my father was not a godly man per se. All right And so Once I got saved I realized you know what? Being a godly man is something I actually want to do And I actually saw people in the church who were You know, quote-unquote godly men. Did they have everything right? No, were they perfect? No, but they were striving to please god instead of themselves nonetheless, right? And so what I would do is I would glean from those people right and I would actually look at them as pseudo low-key mentors all right Mentors and and I would glean from them and I would actually ask them questions Hey, how did you get from this point to this point? What did you do in this situation this that any other and by mentoring and actually gleaning from Men who were a little bit Forward further ahead in life than me and the aid of the holy ghost. All right I am what I am today. Am I perfect? No, but I'd like to believe that I am Pleasing in the eyes of lord, I hope I hope that I'm striving to please god nonetheless And so I say that to say this if you really want to be a godly woman If you really want to be a wife You can be that Whether you were trained from two years old to be that or not If you really really want to strive to be that you can be that because one thing we don't do all right We don't say that we we go to college and we learn what we want to learn. All right You go to college and you learn what you want to learn. Why because that's something you really want to do If you have a if you have a career that you want to pursue You go what you get the prerequisites To become Whatever occupation or whatever profession you want to pursue, right? Well in that same situation You can if you really desire to be a wife and have those wifely qualities and have those wifely attributes That the bible actually speaks of and we'll get into that a little later You can actually be that one of the things I think that we do And this is one of the reasons i'm not i'm not trying to say that uh, this is the main reason But one of the biggest things that I actually see it as a problem within our culture here in westernized culture is we don't raise We we You would not start a job Without any a profession. All right to say you wanted to do 30 years in the profession You would not do that profession Without getting the prerequisites. All right without getting some training some schooling some something, right? But then when it comes to marriage All right, we just expect. Hey, you know what you're 18 you're 21 go get married Whether that's male or female. Yeah, nobody's nobody's taught tried to teach us We don't think that we need any training. We're too stubborn to get premarital counseling and all of that We think hey, let's come together two different households and say, you know what this is gonna work And then you're surprised when the stuff fails Six months in I've seen people who have been infactuated with the wedding I've seen people who blow and I said I did say blow 30 grand on a wedding With a rock that you can see from one end of the sanctuary to the next And they got divorced less than six months later Why because we prioritize events and weddings over an actual marriage And so that that's all I'm gonna say about that right now. Of course. You got anything to say today. Well I'm I'm wondering And I'm saying I'm wondering because I want I also want to get you guys involved in this also Those of you all who are You know what let I want to ask the ladies this question Just the ladies whether you are married or whether you are single What and that means whether you're married single or even divorced doesn't matter If you are a lady answer this question All right, and well, I just want to see what you guys are saying in the chat What do you all want either out of your current husband or out of a future husband? What kind what do you want him to be do not put godly save that is a given? Okay, so we know that But what else what do you want to see from this from this man and this woman?  What do you want to see? From your wife. How do you want her to be the same thing from? You single men. What would you want from a woman who would? Possibly become your wife. Okay. Now the reason I'm asking the question is this Because oftentimes When we enter in these relationships, would be they married or dating We have some of the the wrong understandings of one what it takes to keep a relationship together What he's supposed to be doing versus what you want him to do what she's supposed to be doing versus what You know, are you with me? So It's like we're wanting the wrong thing we I want a guy to do this But the guy that I have is this I want a woman to do this But the woman I have is like this and that also matters now Do I think at some point in time? Personalities have to take a backseat. I do But at the same time I also think though that Men are a certain way women a certain way, but you need to understand what you're getting into because What we're seeing more and more Are these I don't want to say unrealistic expectations But When that when the expectations are not met either in the dating relationship or the marriage Then problems come in right and so I think what if if men actually knew not what women who are on tv What what they want and women thought what men who are on tv what they want Then maybe some of these things would actually be fixed and so let me ask you this question I'm gonna ask you this question to uh Jermaine What's that this just for the guys ladies do not answer this question. Okay, don't answer this question Even though you may have seen some of the comments in uh, uh in uh from the women men What are the top two or three things that you want out of a woman your wants not necessarily needs but your I'm sorry your needs not once but your needs What are two or three things that you need from a woman you absolutely have to have ladies I'm coming back to you in a second, but but jermaine. What do you think that most guys would say are the The top two or three needs For his for his lady for his girlfriend or for his wife Well, listen, this is going to sound really vain coming from a christian man But i'm gonna keep it a buck. You know, I really don't care I don't care the first thing Whether you know the lord or not a man wants is for his wife to be attractive Y'all see I found the uh The buttons so yeah, well wait a second. That's vain Yeah, well people will say it's vain People will say it's shallow but listen If I see like when I saw my wife You know when I was we were teenagers we met all right and we got married early 20s When I saw her I didn't say you know what? She looks like she got something to her She looks like she could she looked like she could spit a mean bible verse. I didn't say that you saw you mean tell me You didn't see her spirit No, didn't say a spirit not at all Didn't see the spirit. Mm-hmm Didn't see that now once I talked to her I got to see some of the attributes But first and foremost what attracted me to even go up and talk to her. What's her appearance? That's the first thing. All right. We've been married. We're going on 18 years praise god In august it'd be 18 years But that was the first thing the second thing honestly is Respect and and niceness that goes kind of That almost goes hand in hand. That's what most people do is a one of someone who is attractive Who is nice? All right, and who Who's cooperative meaning or or you or you can I don't want to say cooperation and trust or the same thing But who's cooperative? Who's who's attractive? All right, who is nice respectable and and cooperative? Those are the three main things That I believe most men are looking for all right the I truly believe that because you cannot even get to knowing if a woman is even cooperative or nice Unless you first because men were were A visual creatures. All right. That's I don't know. Maybe that's the way god wired us, but I'm pretty sure quarry. I believe looks With you and your wife that didn't matter that did play a part in you even Let me tell you listen guys. Let let me let me tell you how how my wife tracked me down. She how she hunted me, right? Oh, wait a minute. So is that how it works? I'm gonna tell you how it works. I'm telling you how it works. Listen Uh, I told you guys I went I went to texas tech And I was late for a class I got there. I said, you know what? It was one of those like music appreciation type classes. It was an easy egg I'm not going to class So I'm in the little student center And I'm just I'm just chilling there waiting, you know for the next class and She comes walking in and she's walking in with a friend and now they're passing out christian tracks But she has this this little this little dress thing on I'm like Okay All right. Now what's funny was there was a College mate of a buddy of mine. I don't even know his name But uh, he was checking her out too. I said we'll go holler at her He said, oh, no, man.  He said you must be scared too Watch me. So I go and I'm my mind is on something else what I can see And so that's what brings us in. That's just how guys are now The issue is going to be ladies is How attractive or to what degree as you get older because every every 40 year old woman Can tell a 20 year old that you won't look the same way at 30 at 40 at 50 as you do now things do Gravity takes over right You might add some extra weight some wrinkles some some hair might thin or turn gray whatever things happen Same thing happened to me. But a man does appreciate a woman Keep up her looks and and and so forth. They do they do appreciate that stuff But again, he's not necessarily comparing her to I don't know.  I don't I don't know who's out there that I guess, you know, we would say universally probably will be Beyonce. Okay. So So she may not necessarily be a Beyonce But to you she is but as long as because you know, the man also likes and it goes along with what you were saying Because if a man knows that that she respects how he feels And she's trying That's just as sexy too And sexy is not a bad word guys for christians.  I'll never forget this. I'll never forget this There was this there was this girl that went to the church And she was she was a pretty girl. No question about it Attracted but the way she cared herself the stuff that she wore And really the way that she taught thought and cared herself I could never Never see being with a person like that just because there's just nothing here Right because after I'm after I'm through looking at you. I got to talk to you I don't like what I'm talking to you about But but secondly what a man wants is and these listen guys they they've done these little studies Uh, as a matter of fact, there's a man by the name of um I can't think of his name, but he's got a book out. I would recommend everyone to check it out It's called his needs her needs And what he talks about is how Men prioritize certain things and women prioritize certain things and those 10 things are flip flop In most case between men and women not always but some women do like because some women do value looks as well But most women that's not their number one priority if if you're a woman and that's not and that's your number one priority Don't know what to say, but men that's just kind of how because that's how we're built And so for him it's going to be looks attractiveness, but also it's going to be obviously sex um, but respect Well, what does the bible say about a woman and her and her man about how she ought to honor and respect him But a woman Hers and I won't you know what I almost went there because I don't want to go into what women say and so yeah, that's As we say keeping the book that's what men want and I can promise you ladies The easiest thing that you can do in life Is to take care of those couple little needs that a man wants You got them You know what the the the roof needs um, um new singles.  I'm not saying who should initiate it. Um, his job is to Um protect her his job is to love her and remember guys when I said the way that we can Figure out what love means because that's the issue figuring out what love means and mainly on the man the word love Just take out the word love every time you see it in the bible and in and instead supplant this word here supplant the word insert the word uh commit If you are committed to her committed to her goodness her well-being Not always her feelings her emotions you do care about them, but um, you care about her being able to have a roof over her head Protection if she hits those lights and the lights come on Draman, I'll never forget this one time. Yes. Yes I was at one of those churches where you know, we we sold a seat, right? and I sold too much of a seat and the uh The txu didn't appreciate me sowing too much of their seat to my seat, right?  Well, whatever's fine the first night the second night now She wasn't having it. Uh, uh, she called me some, you know, we need some lights on If you can't provide for her if she can't get uh security out of you What's the point? What does what does the bible say a man who doesn't provide for his own family? Or tend to the needs of his own family? He's what worse than an unbeliever? Yes yes Very good point very good point So I believe that me and you are almost basically the same world for With those top three things as far as well, you know When those qualities that you're looking for on the wife Yeah, and and honestly when you talk about even when it talks, um When we go into proverbs 31 Hold on don't go there just yet. We're gonna get on the women's. Okay. We did we go we go I wasn't gonna go.  I don't care if it's a federal joint or a state Disrespect somebody you getting stabbed Ain't no if I'll never forget an old man an old man guys this guy's 60 to 70 years old And he's got a walker. Y'all know the walker is right the little thing He stands on got the little wheel sometimes tennis balls on the bottom of it and he jumps in front of somebody in the chow hall in the food line They literally threw this guy out old man and uh The the correction officer they were like what's going on? Well, he cut well, you don't cut because if you cut that's a sign of disrespect like i'm better than you Men need to be or feel as though they've been respected And maybe they didn't feel it outside outside of these four walls outside this door But they need to feel it inside the walls, right? They need to feel it at home by his by his by his wife By his children if he doesn't feel that You it's it's it's over it is over because now who's going because it's just something about a man He's got to feel like he's at least a man somewhere, right? and We'll talk about this as we get on you ladies in a second we're gonna get on you ladies in a second But we're gonna spend some time um talking about men and go to women and then coming back to men but um some of you ladies Do a horrible job of talking to your man like do you really think That's gonna fix it Because let's be honest And this probably happened to you sometime, you know, I imagine you've gotten into it with your with uh, you know Had a have you had an argument with your wife? Look her yeah her wife her name is nicky and uh, yeah, we've gotten to an argument or two for show enough. Yeah.  She can you know if we got into it wouldn't be close But ain't nobody nobody's hurt me like, you know, listen a woman can say something to you Listen, let me just say this and and and She's not here yet and she she might turn around and watch this show Um, but I'll never forget that we were driving matter of fact, you know, we were driving up 75 I was on my way to the office to pick up something and I forgot what the I forgot what it was about and She says something to me, you know, I'm not gonna even say what she said She says something to me and I wanted to open that door I don't 75 That's a busy freeway. Listen, there wasn't no, uh, uh traffic either. So we was moving Now she recognized it and and she apologized but a woman can cut you with her words It's just it's just how it is and we are vulnerable to our woman with her words Some other woman out there can say whatever she wants to okay by some other guy can say it The boss can say it but when she says it And so for some reason a lot of women today though, uh germane think it's cool To kind of talk smack to men Now, yes, a lot of men are starting to fight women, which I cannot abide by Oh, I can't stand that if you want to fight a woman If you want to fight a woman, I want to fight you That's just that's the generational thing where you have your generation x Which is, you know, your generation, especially baby boomers. They wouldn't do that Generation x they they really mostly would not do that my generation millennials It's 50 50 You get to the zennials when you get to the zennials like 26 27 and below It's all hand it's it's anything goes if if you want to step to me like a man I'm gonna hit you like a man all this other stuff like anything goes. There is no mercy. There is no restraint They're not having it. They're not having it. This is why I don't know if you saw Uh, it was a youtube clip or something where the where the boy got tired of the girl and after a while he hit with a skateboard and You know, and it's just it's With the younger generation the zennials They're not having it my generation millennials is 50 50 but but but I wanted to I wanted to say this, um Because you were talking about respect I think One of the problems is We have a lot of women who just really don't know how men operate We don't know What it takes to actually be a man, of course, because they're not men But we don't realize how much pressure is on a man to be a man Let me tell y'all something right now for those of y'all who don't know or don't have a clue It is hard to be a man It's hard to be a man Especially if you're talking about not just a man a godly man on top of that, um No man wants to do this. No man wants to go out into the world And fight like heck for respect Scratch claw do whatever they gotta do to make a living for the family Not to say that you're not working either But he's shown up putting in his time and putting in his work as well And he may even work inside the house, but he's still busting his behind doing whatever he has to do. He has a Scratching claw for respect only to come home To someone Who disrespects him? Yeah Nobody wants to fight like h outside for respect Only to come home to get treated like h Inside of your own home. I never will forget somebody somebody said that um, you know what I I came to the realization that my biggest enemy is the one sleeping next to me. Hmm The one and that's a sad testimony to have We have to be careful how we speak. Let me tell you what the word the word of god actually says about that proverbs 29 Let's go to it. This is what it says on proverbs. It says is It's better to live on the corner of a roof Than to share a house with a quarrel some wife I'm sitting here. You know what I'm sitting looking for and I already got to have a key to Oh, look at look at that. Let's go on 19 Yeah, uh 21 and nine It's better to live in the corner of a roof Than to share a house with a quarrel some wife And the reason why they emphasize the corner because the corner of the roof especially On a on a day where the sun is out. It gets really hot So it's better to be in the corner. Tuck the way where it's hot as heck Then to share a whole house What a quarrel some nagging wife All right, um, you know what it is on that contentious contentious woman Do you do y'all know why why that is? Let me tell you ladies why that is Would y'all to pay attention especially you you all who are married? Uh, this is the reason why Because of the way we are wired when you tell us something We're gonna do one or two things either accept it or discount it If we've accepted it in our minds, we're ready to move forward and fix it handle it whatever we got to do But you keep telling us what we've already made our mind up to go and do And so now you're bothering us. You have said this is almost like a dog barking all day long Or cat meowing all day long It's it's annoying because I've already in my even though I haven't shared it with you or told you I am moving forward If on the other on the other way, I mean other On the other way the counter is that if I've made it in my mind that I'm not going to do it What are you doing? You you are talking about something I've made in my mind that I'm not going to do and so If a man says he's got it Testimony If he doesn't then come back to him. He's not going to mind you reminding him But if you are constantly reminding him the nagging the you know, so sometimes women, you know because What do they say the the study is about how often How many words a day a woman speaks versus how many words a day a man speaks is almost twice as much from a woman Well, that's true women tend to be more long-winded with their words And so when a man is getting that that long-windedness In you correcting him. Oh, that's a problem. That's a problem. So that's why that remember I didn't come up with this and germane didn't invent that passage. This is in God's scriptures And so ladies Listen to that Okay, but now don't want to get too much on the women again though because guys I'm fully convinced that the biggest problems that we have here in america Are the responsibility of men not always the blame whatever happens in the household may not be your fault You may not be to blame, but you are responsible Okay, that means like this if if i'm the ceo of a company and someone calls And the receptionist is rude Well, even though the ceo is not to blame he didn't take the call or she didn't take the call But the ceo didn't take the call The ceo is responsible. So whatever's happening in the house the ceo is responsible So a man ought to want to fix that and so things are going haywire. I did I'm certainly taking care of it now The things that weren't where they should have been It's my job to fix that all these different things that I left unattended or broke my own self It's my responsibility Uh, my wife's well-being my wife's mental state her emotional state without question her spiritual state The problem is we ain't got enough men who know how to be men We got too many men that want to go to youtube and find the answer some other men Well, isn't that what we're doing right now talking about two men to two men Well, but we're giving it from the word of god And so if someone is trying to give you advice that's not coming from the scriptures Turn them off But going to somebody who's talking about how to be a high value man in this net or whatever Leave leave that person alone that person can't can be of no more benefit to you than satan can be to get you to heaven So find your answer you resolve your your rationale You're raising all that finding in the scriptures. The problem is you got to want to be a man and ladies Don't give him the easy way out Uh, if he can't be a man on day one and obviously here's what happens. You meet a guy He is nice Opening doors and asking you uh, what you want to order, you know, you in the drive through probably I don't know if the guy took you out of there. He was the drive through if you did leave him. But anyway, um He asked you what you want. He's nice. Well, if he's not the same way day two month two Year two leave him. He's putting on an act now. I promise you this though if a man has to go a mile Um to get what he wants he will But if you make it easy for him If all he's got to do is go around the around the block to get it.  Well We asked the girls What do you think these guys want? So we said we got two twins mary and terry They both look alike. They both are built the same terry is a little little Looser with hers. So she she wears tighter clothes more revealing things Um, whereas mary she wears, you know looser stuff dresses and so forth. They both are both pretty As we asked the girls, which one these ladies do you think these guys want? They all thought that the guys wanted terry the one that dressed a certain way More revealing more tight fitting stuff and all the boys almost all of them said they wanted mary the one who had a more conservative look terry is the one they'd like to go out and do some things with but mary is the one they wanted to spend the rest of their life with And so that's what's happening. So guys are being treated to uh, Around the block kind of girl instead of someone that they have to walk a mile to get And so now ladies are starting to become that way And me and aren't standing up saying no, this is what I want And so because you this is what you what you thought you want and this what you're being How do I put this? This is what was being advertised. This was this is what's on the shelves And so me and i'm going out and buying this and then we're getting upset because But this is what i'm bargained for. Well, why'd you go to club and meter? Why why? So anyway, I want to I want to kind of get get get your thought on that And we're gonna go into some of the stuff we talked we said we're gonna talk about well, you know Proverbs 31 30 Uh, can I can I go there now? You sure? Hold on. Okay. Let me put you back up 31. Did I put it up here? Yeah, there it is. I'm sorry.  You said 31 30 Yeah, i'm sorry I just had on 31 one. I'm sorry. Let me get there Go ahead Charm is deceptive beauty is fleeting and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the lord Is to be praised amen And so when we talk when we when we talk about that you want to understand that Oftentimes it looks like or it looks as if women are putting far too much energy in Effort into the outdoor appearance And there's nothing to the inward appearance all right One of the one of the tricks is especially nowadays is Women are mimicking or trying their best to mimic IG models. All right The the just because the man looks or the man are looking at the IG models Women look at that and say, you know what? I think I need to go ahead and mimic the IG model Not understanding that listen The man although right around He may want to have fun with something that looks like the IG model Something temporal temporary But what he is actually trying to wife Is not that IG model? All right, and so It's it's a it's a confusing state for women because they're like wait a minute. I thought this is what he wanted No, first of all, you need to think about what the what caliber of man is actually entertaining Those IG models. All right, because of a man is wrapped up in lust There's not going to be much to him when it comes to marriage One of the one of the things I I feel that people have this misnotion of is that thinking that a ring On the finger is going to fix everything That don't fix everything if you have lust issues before marriage When you put the ring on your finger, guess what? Ta-da, you still gonna have lust issues. If you have problems looking at porn You know prom i'm going to say prom. I'm not trying to get any strikes. You know get demonetized Okay, prom if you got a problem looking at prom. Guess what? It's going to be a problem going into your marriage This is not some magic thing to fix stuff. All right And so you have to be you have to look at Who you're choosing and if you're choosing a man who is fixated on IG models It's going to be a problem in your marriage And then he's going to want you to mimic what the IG model does if he looks at prom He's going to want you to mimic what he sees in those prom videos All right, and so you have to have a level of discernment And this is why it's important to be tuned with the holy ghost Or as y'all say if some people say holy spirit as you say holy spirit, whatever same thing You have to be in tune with what the father those attributes that the bible talks about All right, and not be so worried about this outer appearance because guess what? Like we just read in and proverbs 31 30 beauty is fleeting Listen gravity is real. We're right. We're gonna be nice Gravity is real And when gravity kicks in and all you got is the outer appearance Nobody wants to be bothered with you because there's no substance to you. There's no virtue to you All right, and so I think that that's one of the problems we're following is we're worried about this outer appearance We want the lashes. We want the nails We want the we want all this other stuff not to say that those are anything per say wrong with those those things per say however We need to make sure we're not putting so much work on the outer appearance That we're drowning or we're starving that spirit man that lies within us. Yeah Yeah, um So now I asked a question of uh of about men What are the top two or three things that you ladies want we say what a what a man wants obviously the top two are going to be um attractiveness and and respect but ladies And once you all answer this question as a matter of fact guys if you could hold off on your typing for a second guys I want to I want to hear what the ladies are saying. Uh, we're going somewhere uh ladies What are the top two or three things that you need not what you want, but what you need? I know you want him to have um six figures But what are the top two or three things that you that you think a woman needs out of a man? and so What do you what do you think those? top two or three things might be germane I know it's kind of hard because because we're not women but Well, the the thing that they should be looking for is stability. That's one of the thing that went that most women Uh, who have a good head on get good head on their shoulders one of the first things they look for is stability All right, and sometimes that gets perverted because you have people who uh Don't have much substance and they're just looking for money, but um I think naturally one of the first things that women look for is stability because They want to have they want to be covered They want to be and I saw in a chat earlier somebody said I don't I want to submit to a man that I can trust All right, and so well submission with that submission You know in order for you to to truly submit to me you need to feel some type of sense or some sort of Stability so I think that's one of the things and then honestly Women may not be I know women like, uh men who look good as well. Um, but I think that Honestly, I think stability In most situations that might trunk. I'm not saying it Uh looks are not a close second. Um, but I believe that stability is one of the main things stability Maybe looks um and also, um, well, I guess having a job or having some type of source of income that comes with stability Uh protection. I think protection some somebody that is if if you're in danger, they're able to You know take care of business or whatever by by any means necessary Put it this way a woman doesn't want someone a man who if someone breaks in the house They try to hide behind the wife. All right.  All right You step in front of her and one of the beautiful things that I actually got to see at the height of the pandemic And I actually still see it a little bit is when I go on a grocery store I got to meet at the height of the pandemic I got to meet so many brothers in the grocery store Now for those of y'all who don't know y'all don't follow our channel. That's fine I actually do the cooking in the family and I'm a wife cook every now and then and she's actually been cooking a little bit more Lately, but um, I'm the cook of the family I do like 95% of the cooking and I actually enjoy cooking. All right So I go to the grocery store and I go get the groceries. All right And it's funny because at the height of the pandemic brother was in the grocery stores and they were like She got you out here too, right? I was like, no brother. I've been here. I've been here. All right I've been here. I've been here 16 17 years deep. No, I'm saying listen As a matter of fact, you want a local bread go down out? our number seven bustle Because I live in there. But anyways, I got to meet so many men Uh during the height of the pandemic who were after getting toilet paper who are after getting uh going to the grocery store Why because they wanted to shield their wives because they said, you know what? I'm not going to let my wife get exposed to this virus I'm not going to let my kids get exposed to this virus if anybody is putting harm's way I'm going to put myself As a barrier between harm and my family I'll do those things that I don't necessarily like to do In order to protect my wife and my children So if that means going to the grocery store that I usually don't do even though I'm dog tired after being at work all day Or you know even working inside the home and having to go out to the grocery store I'm the one to go get it. Why? Because I'm being a shield for my wife and there's so much honor in that and so Anyway, so I think that that's one of the things that women are looking for and this is why we alluded to With kevin samuels earlier There were a lot of women who didn't have that protective man to shield them So they it was on them to go get the go fight in aisle seven for the toilet paper It was on them to go continue to do all the shopping put themselves in harm's way Well, one of the beauties and blessings about having a husband at the height of this pandemic The husband will take the brunt of it. All right, and so I think that Structure looks protection Is the top threat now, of course spirituality, of course knowing Jesus first and foremost, so I actually should have put that actually first to be honest with you Knowing the lord all right stability And you know attraction top three. I don't know. Maybe I just bumped it up the phone, but I think you know where I'm going Marriage counselors People that do counseling they'll tell you now obviously somebody's Ratings might vary But the two top things that a woman requires and of course you find it in the bible So it's interesting. I mean you should not come as a surprise that that these are also what The people in the secular world are finding that the two things in no particular order is that one she must feel loved And then secondly security Now security I'll come back to the love part of second, but the security part It could show up different ways Matter of fact, it shows up in various ways again. Do the lights come on? Are things around the house working? If someone were to You hear a sound in the middle of the night Baby, you get them get it. No, she wants you to get up and go see what it is, right?  Well that that goes into the the love part And if she doesn't feel like she is loved if she doesn't feel like that she is is is treasured And admired and thought about by you Then we got a problem. That's why If if a man and a woman were both to have or The possibility of an affair were to show up The man is more bothered by the fact that she actually had sex She's probably more bothered by the fact that He had feelings for her he he's not going to be as bothered by the feelings part as the sex part She won't be bothered by the sex part as the feelings part. Yeah So it's again, this is how we we are wired differently And so now could you imagine if if all of her needs were met and all of his needs were met Well, then everybody's needs in house are getting met including the kids and then again And this is what we talk about here in this house Is that the kids the kids need to see how their mother is the girls need to see how their mother is But they also need to see how their father is my wife is always saying the girls need to see how a A godly man is and how a man is supposed to treat her And then they also need to see how to treat how a woman ought to treat a man It used to be Y'all tell me if if if y'all see this especially some of you Some of you older women Tyler you I know you just got a tyler you're pretty young so you may not have seen this but you may have I'm not sure Dine. I'm pretty sure you've seen this But it used to be that that when dinner was made Um, that wife is going to bring that man his food It just is what it is. Oh, that's not right. Listen. You have no idea ladies How that makes a man feel to have her bring that food to him I listen guys I can cook I don't cook much because I can't cook that well. And so if the if the family depended upon me to do the cooking Uh, we're gonna all be skinny Because I'm just not good at it, right? By the way, can I tell y'all something funny something stupid? My wife made this this salad, right? And let me tell you what 13 years of prison did for me. This has nothing to do with the conversation. I'm thinking about this though. Um, but When she cooks for me she has to ask me do I want a fork or a spoon? Because in prison we we don't really get a lot of forks because you know, they can as a weapon And so I eat I eat my salad with a spoon But she'll ask me that right that that goes in my head when my wife Brings me food even if I just cooked it it does something to me. Um, when she when she compliments me on You such a good provider or you strongly this and that or whatever I might not be able to bench press 30 pounds If you tell me I'm the strongest man in the world Girl, you what you want, right? Because you can play with our heads now some ladies out there Play around with it. Here's the problem Ladies make sure he's getting the compliments from you so that her out there in the streets Don't matter guys same thing make sure what's so you too young for this right here, though But some of the older guys, uh, uncle j. You know this song There's a song by a guy named rake parker junior So the woman needs love just like you do and so make sure fellas that she's getting the love at home That no guy out there can make her feel sweet and special because you know how it is You tell a girl she's pretty every girl wants to be pretty Guess what guys even the lesbians Those ultra feminist they want to be pretty. That's why they're complaining about Other women being called pretty every girl in America wants to be am I pretty daddy? Am I pretty mommy? Look at me, right? And so make sure that he thinks or you need to make sure that she knows that you think that she's pretty It's just it does something to her heart as well And so the problem is we're not meeting each other's needs And so we might go elsewhere outside to have those needs met The problem also is that because folks don't know how to meet other people's needs They come into the relationships not knowing how to meet needs and then Soon thereafter They're divorced. Um found this guy Girl, he was cute. He was tall. First of all Being taller than anything, right? Um now I'm not over six feet. And so I'm I'm I'm biased but You got all these little superficial standards on them then The next guy that comes along or the next girl that comes along then then because your house isn't built on anything It's gonna fall now Because we see what people want and what people need the question is going to be especially for single people How do you go about needing the needs of your spouse or if you're looking for A husband if you're single you're looking for a wife How do you go about doing that people talking about the one thing they do in in the in the chats if I mention something They stay on it. So now they're gonna start talking about ray parker jr. And ghost buses I see I see but You know, one of the things you said earlier, you know about, uh, you know The wife being happy and all this other stuff and and and then you actually said that the husband needs to be happy as well You know, one of the biggest lives we were told coming up was You know this whole and I think it's kind of corny happy wife. Happy life. All right I don't agree with that. I believe happy spouse happy house All right, so both of us All right, both meaning both of our needs matter ain't all about just the wife. It ain't all about the Happy spouse happy house and not happy wife happy life But anyways and now when I say happy understand that's simplistic because we're not we're not responsible for each other's happiness But y'all know where we're getting y'all know we're getting meaning that you care that much you care enough about the other person being fulfilled And while you if you care about your wife being fulfilled And then the wife in turn cares about the husband being fulfilled in the marriage Then that makes for a happy house, but if it's all one sided And nobody got time for that I wish I wish I had my stuff plugged up because I got Mabel brown ain't nobody got time for that because I ain't got time for that um, so now There's still a problem though. We can all sit and talk about this stuff or whatever. There's still this problem. Why? When you see the problems that are happening now It doesn't matter if you're black if you're white if you're Hispanic Why do you think a lot of the problems that people are having they do do you think that when people are are Dating when they're looking for it because most folks date because they want They want to have somebody to deal with if you're dating somebody this doesn't apply to you guys If you're dating and you're not looking to get married first of all, you shouldn't be dating if you're not looking to get married I don't think I think you you should be more committed to something more tangible in the future But if all you're doing is just looking around to lay around we're not talking about you But for the folks who are looking for a relationship Those that are single and those that have a relationship those that are married Or those that are dating someone looking to for to grow into marriage We keep running in these problems, right folks are fighting folks And it's getting pretty messy out there to the point where now folks just settling for just hookups Just come on over and let's do we gonna do whatever if it leaves something that maybe maybe not What do you think is the biggest cause of some of these problems out there? And I asked this question of you the other day about do you think a lot of the problems have to do? Let's just say this guy especially for for a lot of black and hispanic people We kind of wonder is this a cultural thing? Or is the issue with some people? Is it an economics thing? Or is it a kind of an age or maturity issue? Are you asking me? I'm asking you. What do you what do you think? Well, I think I think in in in some instances is it can definitely be cultural um What do you mean for for what? Well, um, can I can I bring up the whole example? I told you about what happened at church with the whole bible study with the young man. Yeah, go ahead. Okay I think it's cultural and and for whatever reason I I don't believe Uh, for whatever reason it seems like and I'm not trying to say that this is all uh, Hispanics or Hispanic families But oftentimes in Hispanic families they honored more traditional Ways of doing things they honor family and For the most part, you know, and I'm and I'm not saying that this is all of them But there's a deep respect for the husband There's a deep respect for the father and I say that to say this because a couple years ago I was actually doing bible study for some kids um, and you know, we live here me and me and uh, Cory We both live here in Dallas. All right, but I but my church specifically is located in the soto And I was doing bible study with some kids some teenagers and There was a young man and women in the in the in the class and The young african-american boys for somehow we got on the topic of dating All right, and one boy just said hey, you know, he's like hey look bra Or he didn't say bra, but this is how he said he said look man I don't He said uh, I don't I don't date black girls in my school And I was like what what he like hold up and he's black as well And I said, well, what do we mean you don't date? He's and I'm like he's like because they all mean I said well It I'm like well, hold up. It can't it can't be all of them, right? He was like now All the girls in my school all the black girls in my school. They're mean And I was like what I can't be all black when he was like no All the women in my school all the black women in my school are mean And and then like like a chorus all the other Uh young black men and some of the black women were like, yeah, they mean they're all mean they're mean And and I said well, what okay, so you don't like them because the means that yeah Not only are they mean, but they act too manly they act like dudes and I don't want to data do All right, and so his default along with a lot of brothers in that class Said that they Specifically date Hispanic women or Hispanic girls He said and I said well, why did well because they're they're at our school as well And it seems as if they're more feminine They're nicer to us They don't worry about if we have the latest jays or not And they just respect us and treat us nice and they act like girls Said the the the girls at my school. They act too much like boys. They always fight And is we you know, I don't know if y'all live in the de soto or dallas area But there's been a lot of fights at de soto high school and honestly um Those fights have been mostly by girls And so anyways, and so I think that that speaks to the larger issue It's not just happening her in dallas. It's actually happening across the united states where we're having A lot of our women are acting very masculine acting very aggressive and Yes, they may be female But there's nothing ladylike about how the way that they carry themselves and so this speaks to the greater issue Um, so when it comes to and we talked about fighting fighting women and all this other So when it comes to bucking up to a man or a boy They think nothing of it. Why because this is what they do Well, we see the end result of that you find out real quick. You're not a you're not a boy All right, and so we have this friction Within our community and that's not to say. Hey, it's just a black community Just a Hispanic community, but I can only speak about the community I'm a part of in the black community. There seems to be this friction and then You know just my experience and they broke my it broke my little heart y'all I'm sorry my heart. This is the heart of a man. There's the heart in a man. All right But broke my little heart. All right, because I was came home. I was Come home for uh, and I stopped by the grocery store I do accounting work. I do accounting. All right, and so I was dressed up pretty nice You know I'm saying it wasn't in business business casuals business life. All right, and I went to a Walmart All right to just get some stuff before I got home or whatever And so there was a um, and it's it's nothing against Caucasian people white folk But there was a white man who was maybe a few years older than me And he had on flip-flops and he had kind of like a little beach shirt. It was the summertime He was dressed really casual laid back all that right and He asked the woman he said Can I and he said it and he didn't really say it too nicely to be honest with you He said it can I have a divider and you said it just like that and she handed it to the man She handed another the cash register.  She looked the man in the eye Smiled at the man as she handed him the divider and said here you go, sir She gave it to him And he didn't even ask really nice and so I'm thinking like oh cool. I gotta I got a nice cash register So I'm looking forward to getting checked out You know, you had those dividers that divide your groceries from the person in front of you and all that stuff So I got I got up to the cash register and I'm like Can I please have a divider and I asked really nicely Let me tell you. I don't know. Can I say helpful? Can I can I okay? I just Let me tell let me tell y'all what the heifer did She did not look at me She did not say a word to me When I asked her nicely for the divider to divide my food. She threw it on my food Didn't say a word to me didn't look at me. No eye contact. No nothing Just do it on my food and I'm like if I don't listen. I don't even curse y'all But I listen some stuff was going on in my cabesa. All right um And then when I checked out The woman had the nerve to say to me when I was paying for my groceries and about to leave She said you have a nice you have a blessed day and I'm like Let me tell you something chick I didn't say it but in my head. I'm like I was having a nice day Until I until I ran into yo nasty behind. All right and so That caused a great a great friction within myself. There was a lot of frustration. All right, because I'm like What is it about this tension that we have? between Black men and black women And the woman don't even know me from adam And I asked her nicely for the divider. She could not look at me. She did not talk to me She threw the stuff on my food I should have I should I should have reported her but to be honest with you.  And I'm like So you said that has to be done about that's creeping into these relationships Yes, it's creeping right into this relationship. Why do we have so much disdain For african-american men. There's no there was no excuse. There was no reason for her to do that to me But she felt I guess in her she felt that she um, had she had uh Uh, she was anticipating that You know, I wasn't about nothing even though I was dressed really nice really respectful In her mind I wasn't nothing and so that's what a lot of men Have been talked. That's what a lot of men have seen In our community. We have this notion and you can look at platform after platform.  Here's what I'm thinking guys. Uh, uh Jermaine I were talking about this now. I'm a little older than jermaine. How old are you jermaine? I Just turned 40 last year. Okay. Okay. So I'm a decade older than that. I shouldn't have said that y'all y'all I wouldn't say y'all my age But we're oh, I'm older than than him and I and I started noticing something Because again, you can start seeing how some things have have changed And I see where a lot of people are having these issues But I'm I'm wondering if there's not so much of cultural If the issue has to be One economics And then to age or maturity. Here's why I say that And guys, uh, again, if you all if anyone is wanting I know there's some folks who want to come on If you guys are wanting to come on Send me an email and I'll send you the link. Okay, uh, but I think what causes the cultural issue is Probably the economics issue On top of the age and the maturity because sometimes when you If you have that kind of if you have that kind of attitude mentality And nothing has ever worked for you when you get into your 40s and in your 50s, you start, you know what?  Not that, you know, that you know the lord But you're behaving Okay, now Economics and here's what I mean Let's say you come from an impoverished background or low economic background And you get some money We talked about how people, you know, uh in the Dallas area, they uh, some black folks got some money And they began moving towards the southern part to the DeSoto's and Cedar Hills But they still were brought up in a Kind of a hood environment and they brought that sort of hood mentality with them And into their relationship. Now, granny, you can be white with a hood mentality You can be Hispanic because we've seen it. We've seen it And so what we're really speaking to is is the hood mentality And unfortunately a lot of black folks still do have that but whites and Hispanic A lot of that is economics not from Um It's driven by Go ahead. Let me address some room. I'm sorry. I don't want any work. Joreena. Um She says Joreena says maybe she was having a bad day Well, did her bad day become bad when I stepped to her because just about 30 seconds earlier She must have been having a good day Because she shows what she was going to do when the white man got in line But when I got when I got to the cash register Did I make her day bad so we we can't go on this old? Well, maybe she was having a bad day There's never a day that is so bad that warrant you treating somebody that way And then when we see where you have the discretion And you have the restraint to know when to turn it on or when to turn it off But then when you see me of ebony you all of a sudden you didn't cut it the attitude back on We got a problem Houston. We got a problem even though we in Dallas. I'm sorry.  I almost accidentally banned someone. I'm pushing these buttons over here and I'm almost banned building a biblical truth I was looking for a response and I almost messed up. So Anyway, so here's what I think the issue is If a person has grown up in a a lower economic environment and then gain some money Oftentimes we still bring that mentality with us, right? Yeah Um But let's say if a person who might be black if they grew up Um in in in an environment where mom and daddy was together I said mom and daddy were together I said mama and daddy were together That helps a whole lot And then if they had a little bit of money, they weren't you know at the bottom end They tended to act a certain way now Don't discount the fact of how many people grow up without a father and how they respond how they act Why do a lot of black women act a certain way because a lot of black women most of them 72% of us guys are born out of wedlock daddy wasn't around That's a huge problem. That makes a big difference.   Well, if if if I were single And I see a young lady who wants, you know, the neck snapping and head rolling I'm sorry. You might look like Beyonce, but look like Beyonce over with somebody else I don't I don't want the the teen with the attitude. I want the five with the heart, right? Because I believe this this is my this is my personal opinion. My daddy put this in me He said that Unless the person was just mangled up real bad or whatever but even then I I think every woman can look beautiful I really do now Is can every woman look as Can this woman right here? Is it reasonable to expect that every man who's in here that his woman Um can be the best looking woman on the planet? No, I mean, let's just be honest, right? There are some women that are just Gorgeous just for no reason, right? You think of an ester in the bible You think of Vashti who I guess she was better looking than that. You think of a sarah She's 100 some years. She's 100 years old looking pretty you think of me my wife, right? My wife. I hear you So the the point is this The point is this um A man wants you not necessarily look look the best for the world but look the best for him, right? Um, but he also values the way you care yourself. No man wants a ratchet woman.  So a man wants a woman that can behave, right? And so a lot of this stuff stems from economic issues But really what it is what what what's that at the heart of it? It's maturity It's maturity because you can be 21 years old As a woman or a man and be mature. We know that girls develop in certain areas mature in certain areas Faster than men and boys mature in certain areas faster than than than young ladies, right? um You It's likely that you would hurt a woman's feelings quicker than you would hurt a man's feelings But she's also matured in a lot of other areas faster than the man has right And so I think the problem that we're having is this that Women may have come from a family where they've been beaten down or other women because sometimes the girl hadn't been beaten down but her The ladies in her family have and so she's just also projecting that also. She's been taught that girl You can't trust he do this, you know all of it like that. And so she's she's um, um Parenting that she's she's displaying that so The issue I think though more than anything else is maturing because that's why you see a lot of people Who have gone through a whole lot of bad relationships? And they start getting it starts it clicks And as they get older They realize what's really important I thought that he had to look like this I thought he had to have this kind of hair first of all guys ladies Hair is completely overrated. That's number one. Number two I thought that he had He might lose his hair. Yeah, you know now granted. Listen.  So But um the things that you place at the top the superficial things As you get older That stuff changes, right? Um, how you want her to look that stuff changes after a while. Um, she's not gonna look like Whoever the top the top model is at 80 It's because don't you want to be married to her at 80? at 70 at 90 Well, if if if your wife now granted there's a diane carol and you can get all the plastic surgery because diane carol was You know, she was gorgeous at 70 That ain't the likelihood. That's not the norm But you want somebody that you can just vibe with you could you know, she got your back.   So Guys, by the way, uh, let me go back and check and see I want I want to add add something to that. Okay about it being a uh a Poverty or economic issue because I think that may play a part in it But I think it may be the deeper issue is not being able to see a two-parent household man and husband and wife In as a unit in the household. I think it's even because to keep it a buck Um, Hispanic households actually make less than african-american households. Yeah, all right But one thing you do see Is you see that they are married they are together Mm-hmm that even they may be dirt poor But they are raised in a household where they still see The dynamics of a husband and a wife and so when you combine poverty With not seeing a husband in the household All right, you don't know how to treat a husband and you don't know how to respect Say a husband. All right, so I think that there are two things that play There but but at the end of the day I want to go back to what I said at the beginning of this live if you really want to be something And you really desire to be something You can be it because I did not grow up Seeing a godly father a godly husband But if I truly want to be and I pray to god God, please help me to be what I need to be for my wife First and foremost my wife because it's husband and wife before the kids. All right I know that may hurt some of y'all little feelings But it's husband and wife first then the kids. All right, they don't come between So help me be the husband I need to be All right And then help me be the father that I'm supposed to be all right because I'm gonna be held accountable how we raise our kids All right, and so I did not want to be that person Uh That does not pull his weight for his wife and for his children. What do they say? No, I'm just I'm just don't want some of these comments Yeah, so as as as god continued to guide me I aspired to be that I didn't see it coming up But let's not use that as an excuse because you don't see doctors and lawyers when you was coming up neither Especially in the hood you didn't see doctors and lawyers But you know what you went to college to be a doctor the lord and guess that's what you were and that's what you are Why because you inspired you desire to be that well if you desire to be a wife First of all be a wife and that actually goes into what we talked about Um, you want to go into the man that finds a wife or no? Yeah, let's go to it Let's see what I put it. There it is commerce 1822 By the way guys if again if you're wanting to come on board Um, send me the email.  You see it Says that uh, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the lord um Amen, amen, and so One of the things we were talking about is you know me and core we have conversations about is Um being that good thing my wife always talks about this. She was like listen, you don't have to go hunt for a husband But your job as a woman is what my wife niki says is to be that good thing And I think we have a lot of people a lot of females who are caught up And not being that good thing. Well, what is that good thing? Well, is it the outer appearance? Can't be the outer appearance because we just learned beauty is fleeting All right, not to say that the outer appearance doesn't doesn't matter But let's talk about being that good thing that means you have some intangible qualities about yourself. All right That makes you a good thing And one of the controversial uh scriptures it like I said in proverbs 1822 Is a man that finds a wife finds a good thing.  You can't just Hey, you know what? I'ma just uh Live my and I know y'all some of y'all know this phrase my 304 phase Or I'ma just live my 304 phase and just hey, you know what one day. Oops. Look, I'm married What is that 304 what you say here? Yeah, put put 304 backwards and turn it upside down. What is it? Okay, now you didn't threw me out 304 Yeah, this is for the millennials in All three And put it back real hold take 304 turn it upside down I can't do that. That's that's too. Listen, man I can't what you gotta help me. I have no idea what that is Look, they said in the chat 304 equals prostitute. Uh, no Oh Okay I got told you I'm trying to be pc here, right? Man y'all listen I am out of the loop I'm out of the loop. Go ahead Yeah, I'm trying I'm trying to be uh, I'm trying to be a pg here. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't this I don't I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know. I know I know Listen, you and my wife nicky y'all are saying both we talked about that 304 phase on the channel We talked about that 304 a couple weeks ago on the channel. She was like, what is a 304? I'll say baby. She was like, oh my gosh. Yeah, real folk But yeah, you can't go from that phase in life and say, hey, I'ma just ride I'ma just do what I need to want to do and then all of a sudden you you start, uh Settling down with somebody for about two months and then all of a sudden you jump into marriage It don't work like that. All right You have to have those those qualities that the bible talks about all right You have to be a wife before you become a wife Have those wifey qualities. How do I know what wifey qualities are? Read the word of god. It's all in there. We want to run to proverbs 31 so often But do you realize what that woman was not to say that you have to have be all of that what that woman is But you need to understand That there are some virtue in that we talk about the virtuous woman. What is a virtuous woman? Well, virtuous woman is not someone in the 304 phase. Yeah I'ma just leave it right there. I think I'll say it enough A matter of fact, and I've got alex I see I've got you in the green room, but um, are you are you there? Okay, I'm not I'm not seeing you there. So, um disconnect and come back on alex But um, yeah You can't here's what my buddy alvin And I wasn't supposed to say his name, but I'll say his name anyway You can't here's what you can't do um Alex, are you there?  There you go. Um, give me give me one second alex My buddy, uh, would always talk about you look like you're frozen Um, say something alex.   So These top flight people that you say that you want But that's not you It's almost like okay here. I am I want to and we'll save I guess again There's got to be somebody other than Beyonce, but let's just say Beyonce So you want the Beyonce's of the world But the question is why would Beyonce want you? Why am I saying that? You want to marry this certain type of man or you want to marry this certain type of woman Why in the world would they want you that goes to what you're saying? Um, a man, um, who's looking for a good wife Um, he's not wanting her to become a good wife after He wants to see that in her from the beginning. So anyway alex I can help you my brother Like you froze on us again Oh, man, he froze again. Yeah, alex your connection, um needs jesus Anyway, uh, let's see again guys if anyone else wants to come on uh, send send me an email so I can send you a link But uh, all right, we're gonna try alex. We're gonna try one more time brother Uh, and if we can't we're gonna have to just just you have to send you a comment. Okay You there?  You might have to get to another spot in the room, buddy Yeah, he yeah It goes back to that whole territorial thing like when you talked about I'm sorry it doesn't go back When you talked about a man would be more hurt with his with his wife cheating Or where the woman cheating as opposed to you know, that's that's what women that's what men would get hurt by Women will get hurt by a man Um, I guess providing for giving resources to another woman Why because those are the two things that the two genders value Women they value shelter protection provision all of those things they value resources that goes back to stability men I'm not saying this is all man, but most men we're territorial. We are we just are I know I am I'm territorial All right, so the fact that someone else has been All right, somewhere where I make my humble abode I'm being really PG with that. I can follow you. All right. I can follow you. I don't I don't That is something that will cut me to the core. Why? Because that is my territory we're very Territorial so it may not make sense to women. They say oh, it's all the same You have to understand how men think we're very territorial and so that will cut us to the core So if you're talking about someone who is in the 304 phase All right Listen, let me tell you something one of the things we have to understand is this When jesus talks about sexual purity And sexual immorality when paul talks about sexual immorality We see the spiritual, uh components of that, right? But Sometimes we get so heavily minded that there were no earthly good. There were very practical reasons why god says stay away from sexual immorality There's some very practical reasons. I'll give you one. Here it is having sex outside of marriage Well If have sex outside of marriage if I have sex outside of marriage what happens is I run the risk of say for instance.  At least or whatever I run the risk of having multiple households I run the risk of having seed over here seed over here seed over here here in here, all right And so what happens the practicality in that is I I am there's no way I can be a good steward over my resources Why because I got to divide my attention over here There here here and there all right So that's the practical side of it. All right, and then here's another and this may be too real for y'all There's another reason why he says to stay away from it Because nobody wants to share Their wife or their woman with other men. That's another practical side Here's one thing that we talked about on our channel me and my wife We had a good conversation And some of y'all are gonna say well, it doesn't say body count in the bible now It actually allows to it. All right. There's practical things in the bible that actually speaks to that. All right You know what I mean by body count. Yeah, okay. Good. You you're right. You're rocking with me There you go, brother Let me tell you something we we want to talk about blm. We want to talk about all this Body count matters. It does matter. Why? because The more you do these things The more you do the activity That you're supposed to say for marriage The more use of those things and I don't want to get too far But it plays it plays a part when it you finally get to the marriage bed. All right There's something that's some grown that's grown stuff right there. All right, because when you do so It's like you almost you're also You can you could be thinking about somebody else um And yeah, that's too many too many cooks in the kitchen. Yes Exactly. Yes. And that and that's one of the problem We actually know we have some friends and that that experiences that they had with other people ruined They let that ruin their marriage Because they were constantly comparing what the The the experiences they had before marriage to what they have in their marriage See there's very practical reasons sometimes why God simply says abstain from this stuff. All right We got the spiritual but we need to look at some of the practicality the practicality in this Let's take off this. Let's take off the religious lens and look at the practical reasons as to why Jesus said to be a good steward mm-hmm There's practical Benefits in that even if you want to believe it. There's some practicality and knowing how to take care of what you have Now we're gonna have to talk and I see some some some comments. We're gonna talk about what if uh, you've got a Higher number on these body counts, but I want to go ahead and bring in bring in chris Brother, how you doing? Can you hear us? Yeah, I can hear you. Okay What Uh, what what can we do for you brother? Yeah Yeah, um, I wanted to kind of simply bring across my understanding of what it what High value relationships in terms of the topic that you're speaking about and why we seem to be Failing in this aspect Even us as christians Right and to me it seems to fall into the line of our ignorance in terms of We cannot differentiate between desire and love Right now desires something that is very unstable. You know look like when I was young. I loved peanut butter right And at this point I really have a taste of peanut butter anymore You know when I was young. I love grape juice now. I love apple and pineapple You know desire is very unstable. It one minute at the top next minute it down Right, but love Is the most stable Thing that there is Just for the fact that god is love and this is what he's seeking for us to have Towards one another right that is why christ said, um Hereby shall all men know that you are my disciples when you love one another Right, um when he says um Why how if we only love those that love us what reward have we so love is something that Christ had and love is something that the bible say god is So when we supposed to love someone It's something that brings us into complete A complete submission. This is why like when you're talking about marriage The bible says In marriage the man body is no longer his But the wife and the wife body is no longer hers, but the husband This is a love that puts the other person Before myself so The wife she loved the husband so much that She will sacrifice herself For the husband and he has one of the wife so much that he will sacrifice himself For the wife so that nobody is seeking their own benefit They are always in love seeking the benefit of the other person, but when we get tied up with desire All we are studying is to be pleased ourselves Wow, she looks so good. She pleases me. So I want her We are only studying to fulfill our desire and this is where we start falling short because The moment this desire starts to not be fulfilled or this desire change Then the relationship falls apart. So my wife doesn't look as good as she used to look before so I start Being attracted to other people, you know Or she still looks as good as she looked on day one But then I meet somebody who looks way more attractive than her and this person has shown me so much attention So now my I started drift towards wow This this person likes me You know, so it's not about respect It's not about commitment. It's not about responsibility. It's not about obligation. It's about love All these other things come as a consequences of our love For this person. Okay, so we can't say well I going to let me show my husband respect Without love or let me show my husband, you know Anything without love It's nothing. It's worthless just as current can see. You know, no matter what we do if it doesn't have love So when we don't know what love is Our relationship will be Filled based on desire that is unstable and goes up and down so that the relationship may not last It may last it may last for a while, but then it may not so it's unstable And this is what we I think we are going wrong because as the bible said He that love it not know it not god for god is love And this is what we are supposed to come to and admit if we never reached that point Our relationships will not be based on love but desire and this is where it all feels The different needs and I the matter is the love and I appreciate the comment chris Um, go ahead and let you go but the the the issue is though Um, your commitment towards that person is going to cause you to give them what they need Now I want to address something and that is this that is um Because I people say this and it comes up If you have the higher body counts Uh, then what now? You need to understand and this is why it's important for you all Um guys and gals, but especially gals because it's an issue It's more of an issue with guys than it is with gals. I mean it's always been this way when I was growing up Um, you know, we used to talk about how a girl, uh, she was fast As we used to call girls who were three or fours back in the day fast We still say that we still say I didn't know I didn't know the vernacular change but, uh, if she was fast, um, we got on her but we didn't get on the guy as though he She was fast with somebody and so It's more of an issue When it comes to a guy then it's going to be with a girl I'm not saying it's not the issue with uh with a girl now It's always an issue with with uh with god But if a person has been promiscuous male or female Um as as jermaine said that that brings issues into the relationship It just does Well, what you need to make sure that you do is first before you get into any relationship with a woman or a man Make sure and these are the folks that are here And those that'll watch the video later make sure that you have a relationship with god first Because you don't know how to be the kind of woman that you need to be Unless you know how to be the kind of a woman of god that you need to be Kind of piggybacking on what jermaine said about being a wife before you get married Same thing with a man, um, you can't be a good husband if you can't be a good man before god That's just how it goes Because I don't know if you all know We we talk about how the divorce rate is high In america and it's almost the same Amongst christians well again everyone that calls himself a christian isn't but you know where the divorce rate is a lot lower From people who attend church regularly Do you hear that and I can't remember what that was but it's not even like like one's right here and it's just no It's a big difference And why because people who tend to church regularly tend to be more Focused on what god wants rather than what they want They know they need something from god and so that's one one good spot somebody says well Where can I go and find a a a good husband? Well one? I don't know who your husband is and so I can't tell you where to find him at But if you're who you're supposed to be it's almost like this You're waiting for a good man and a good man will find you out um Well be be that good woman everywhere be that good man everywhere And so if it happens to be that you meet someone at church or at work or what have you They can see the good qualities in you, but you can also see the good qualities in him vice versa and Have your standards if this guy isn't who god Wants a man to be or this girl isn't who god wants woman to be with it You're not tied down to it. Don't let your frustration be the reason why you get in bed with this person Don't let the fact that you're looking for a man. I gotta have a man So I'll let them come on.  We'll watch a movie At home. I'll cook them some dinner and so forth and and it's it's nine. It's 10. It's 11 Well What's the next step? What do they say an object in motion Tends to stay in motion And so here it is it's 10 o'clock at night. It's 11 o'clock at night And luther's own Tyler that's luther van der Roos. He's old r&b singer. I know I'm picking on tyler. I know she's young but you got some r&b song on And the lights are down low and and the shades are drawn Might be too late because what does god say about sexual morality? He didn't say fight it He didn't say resist it either He said flee And you put yourself in those positions men and women Because you're wanting to force something You're trying to force something and what we end up doing is uh paul says don't make provision for sin Well, here's what i'm gonna do just in case something happened. Let me go on and get some condoms, right? Just in case something, right? Well, you are making provision for the just in case I ain't playing on it, but I got these kind of just in case. I want to be responsible No responsible is that she shouldn't be over your house. He shouldn't be over her house Period in this in this instance. This is why it's an equity. That's an equity right there That's what you are opening the door for satan who is better at life than you are guys I don't I don't care how tough you think you are Uh, but satan knows his way around a woman's heart and a man's heart. He really does and so, uh, let's see I see this. I see the old man Somebody somebody give uh, andre The Harrison family vlogs give him the uh, the link is quarry miner quarry miner. No, it's not it's smart christian channel at gmail.com He ain't he's younger than me, but but uh, matter of fact, yeah, he's younger than me too.  He's a lead two years older than me. Yeah, a couple years. He'll be grown a couple more years.   He's gone. Okay. I didn't see that Yeah, he's taking attention off of the discussion. He's come out and said nobody loves their enemies. That's impossible for humans Oh, I see it. I'm agnostic. He's also said before He also said before that there's nothing wrong with sex outside of the marriage And so somebody actually came back and said you're on the wrong channel. And so honestly, I think he's an antagonist I think he's gone. He's gone. He's gone. And so the issue with him is here's a person who is not happy in life He's not happy in marriage. He's not happy in his relationship He's not happy period and he's going to find out that this is the best life that he can possibly have Because he doesn't value god He'll find more value in coolness in water in the place he's going. Let's just be real about that Sorry, so if you don't get yourself, right, um, what's named jp, whatever his name is Sorry, jd is what it is. But for everyone else that wants to have a high value relationship Um, we want to do it the godly way. We're not going to tell someone to um, um as as the What's his name? Um, kevin said kevin samu said I saw where he told some woman Who had been sleeping around and she stopped. Um, why would you stop? Basically that that was her best tool I wanted to go to fly that was in Atlanta fly that landing to slap him. That's just Why would you want to do that?  But um, yeah, well, yeah If if I agree if you have messed up in life, it's never too late to fix it It's actually like to get it right ever so I don't know what uh, what so many people are on but guys if you want to be Uh, if you want to have these higher valued relationships You need to be a higher valued persons like the point that I was trying to tell my, uh, my buddy from college You want these A certain type of woman You need to be a certain type of man, right?   Okay, so Hey, man, there we go. My battery died. Well, listen, there's some um, I don't know. I'm fuzzy. Let me let me get my Okay, you know, there's a delay. So I'm always trying to Are you fine now? Emma yeah, you fine now Okay, cool. Cool. Cool Uh, christy thomas, uh, actually said in the chat Christy thomas she disagrees with us. She says I do not agree with that those qualities can come door marriage Well, you know what I'll say it is like my man kevin garnet who plays for the Celtics, which I don't like the Celtics I love the lakers Fight me. Um Kevin garnet said anything's possible, right? Yeah, and you know the bible actually says anything's possible for them who to believe Or whatever but anything's possible with god now. Listen anything's possible. All right We're not saying that this is we're speaking for everybody. God can always do a tremendous work in the life of a believer However, all right, you do not agree those qualities can come in marriage. Here's the thing It is drastically harder to develop those qualities inside a marriage While you're inside a marriage, all right, you're going to go through stress strife in term or Going through that stuff trying to get something to fit While you're in it instead of making sure it fits before you get in it It's like a puzzle piece. All right.  So yes, yeah, you can do anything go ahead have at it But I guarantee you it's going to be a lot of years of strife and turmoil If you try to do it Inside the marriage. All right, but anything's possible. God can always do a tremendous work Well, we're not telling you that that is a recipe to make it because let's be honest with you This is why stuff ends in divorce in six months This is why things end in divorce in less than a year All right, because you don't have those qualities and then you get frustrated and say, oh, you know what? It's been six months. It's been a year. It's been two years and she still isn't this Woman of God. She still isn't this wife. He still isn't this husband and they say well, you know the heck with it Let me just go ahead cut bait and start over with somebody else. Yeah Let me let me say this. Let me say this. Did you freeze on me? I think he froze on me Let me say this and here here is the truth guys Here here's here's the here's the truth especially to everyone who's single This does not Go for the people who are married But for all of you who are single. Let me tell you something about yourself Okay, I want you to listen to me.  Those of you who are dating especially the person who thinks that you can do it your own way Let me tell you what you're not good at you are not good at dating You're not good at picking your mate. You know how I know because so far you're batting zero Right, uh, if you're not married, um, and you've been picking them you've got your own little criteria It hadn't been working So why not try it the way god have put it together and see if that works? You're right You can you can become that person in marriage But that's a whole lot of baggage baggage that you don't need as somebody who's married It's hard enough as it is With having without having you to fix yourself on the fly, right? That sounds good But yeah, it sounds good. Yeah, sounds good, but it doesn't work out that way. And so, um You don't He can't cook you can't cook you promise to learn how to cook once you get married. Well, okay We y'all gonna be hungry for a while in his marriage, right? Um So I I think that's one of the I think one of the things and I'm not picking on christy thomas on this But this is just for christians at large I think We depend on the miraculous so much that we Negate to do the practical We want god to do this miraculous thing say oh, well just fix them Fix them lord fix me lord.  There's some things that I know the lord needs to work on me on first Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Jermaine. I need it. Okay. Um Christy sweetheart. Listen.  Um, you said that there are some some uh Um, uh, you know this you know this guy right here I don't know. You know this guy right here. What up bruh I'll hold me from up top and in a in a new jersey From statin island. I want to say this. Christy said that there are some unkind people in the chat sweetheart I hope I hope that no one is being mean to you. Um, but let me just say this you are you you look pretty young Okay, I'm not sure if that's the case or not But you made a statement. Okay and one statement that you made and you're going to get pushed back from this statement Is that um, so y'all don't think that young men should carry condoms No, they shouldn't no Just like young men shouldn't carry guns Often I'm not saying they shouldn't but some of these young guys know because what's going to happen is you're going to want to use it Now if you're responsible enough And you've got a license that's fine carry gun But as far as carrying a condom, what is every young man going to want to do with that condom? He don't want to use it Especially if one of his buddies find out that he got a condom which he uses kind of what's what's going on How does that condom right? We we go give him some serious a pressure right some serious peer pressure Christy Thomas or any other young lady? Let me just say this to you You don't want to be the person that the guy is is is gotten marked for this condom You don't want a man who has to use kind of you want a relationship to where If you're using condom or birth control is because you are you know Not trying to have a pregnancy or what have you I'm not saying have abortion I'm not saying the birth control that causes abortion I'm not saying that but if you're using condom while you're married you're married But if you should not be out there engaging in marital activities if you're not married No, we don't want young men out there With condoms because you know what's gonna happen Something's gonna happen with that condom. He may not even put it on And the next thing you know, you've got a child by a guy who who who said well the condom broke Why I didn't blow it whatever right? That's not what you want sweetheart.  She says I'm I'm I'm Christian 43 and I have been married for was it. Okay. Uh, I want to hear why Let me put this up here. I think I think the bigger the bigger question is this Um, yeah condoms may be one thing, but I think about when we're talking about in the life of a christian Um condoms they serve you from the consequences, but they don't Save you from the spiritual death that comes along with it, which is sin.  Go ahead. Let's go ahead and make provision for the flesh. That's called iniquity All right, the bible talks about sin transgression No, the bible talks about sin Iniquity and transgression go study those three terms and understand it Sin is simply means to the mark iniquity is when we make provision for the flesh And in transgression is when we decide to live against the will of god and we really don't care man That's what that is when we have decided to live a lifestyle of sin And we said, you know what it really don't matter. All right So be careful because sin is not something to be played with I'm not saying that you're saying to go play with sin this that and the other But what I'm trying to teach or I'm trying to convey to those of us who are who are listening and watching Understand that we need to not make provision for the flesh from the jump. Yeah There's some other comments. I want to get to but yeah, y'all go ahead brother If I can add to that Right. Um, the whole the whole Thing about about a condom if your heart is to honor god Right, then your your your safety your protection is self-control not the condom So if you're looking to honor god, right from the jump, there's no need to have a protection just in case Because there will be no just in case It's just self-control. Let me practice that Now nobody's perfect, right any imperfection you can't fall back on A plan that you had in place in case you're not perfect, you know, that's preemptive That's that's you know, I I thought about this ahead of time You know, so Let's be careful when we use things like when we ask christian something bringing up topics like, you know, well, you know What's wrong with condoms don't you want to be, you know, safe than sorry? Well, my safe and then sorry is me practicing self-control and not getting myself in that situation the first thing Amen, you know, if I practice safety, that's my safety Well, if I'm going to practice safety, I'm not going to have the condom because I don't want to feel pressured to to say, you know, hey Uh, it'll happen just this one time And I got protection. So we've got to be careful as christians not to because again We all love to skate responsibility and accountability if we could Yeah If you have condom in your pocket, right, you're not trying to skate responsibility like by accident, you know This is there for a purpose and that's to escape responsibility and accountability For my actions as if, you know, I may not be consequence and have a baby You know, you go in thinking that way and as you said before, you know, that's that's um iniquity Yeah, amen. Yeah. Amen. And listen, you're gonna want to use it and you're not gonna use it to make a balloon All right. He's gonna use it to do All right, he's not saying, you know what? He's not doing that, you know Listen real quick marshal uh, marshal queely, um, said can't jesus turn a woman who was a 304 into A virtuous woman sure he can yeah, you can always do that and he does do that and we saw that in the word of god He can do those things but when we talked about that, we were not talking about the spiritual We're talking about the practical. All right, now understand when it comes to sin God always forgives he forgives our sin But it doesn't keep us away from the consequences that come along with us doing that sin Yeah, he forgave us, but you know what being a 304 He may forgive us being a 304, but you know what doesn't happen The physical ramifications that come with being a 304 Let's be real here. There's some physical ramifications If a man gets a wife and then the wife tells him, you know what? I've never been with a man Never been with a man at all. All right, and then they get down the road and in this go time He's going to be able to tell you know what you lied to me You lied to me didn't they do that in the bible? But that was in the bible you would know you would know if somebody has has entered All right, so come on. Let's not be so heavily minded to where we're no earthly good There were practical reasons Why the bible says what it says and we're gonna know the difference if you were 304 We're the virtuous and now we're gonna know where you're being because most of our issues a lot of our issues can be traced back to our male female relationships, right most of the issues that we have Matter of fact, a lot of issues that we have even in our relationships stem from a past Relationship and had that past relationship not existed Then that would that wouldn't be rearing its ugly head into the current relationship. And so If a person is wanting to have a relationship be they single Or be they married? If we just simply follow god's mandate Being a high value human being a high value christian Well, then guess what the marriage part comes is it going to be some some tough parts? There's listen, there's some times where Where um, you're gonna have some issues with your wives, right? I got two men here who are married I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure they got some problems with their wives from time to time, right? She gonna say something she said problem. He gonna say no doubt. No doubt. And so um, but the christian portion of us that what the godly portion of the godly man is I Should be able to if I hurt my wife if I say the wrong things um to go back and I think you know my biggest problem guys is Saying what I need to say to her how I need to say it to her, right? Yeah Oftentimes I want to tell her. I'm sorry the way I want to tell her. I'm sorry not the way she needs to hear I'm sorry, right? Well, that's me being selfish And and of course now she has problems to you know, um, communicating to me all the way because that's Always going to be that way But if we both know that we love each other and we both know that we love the lord Um, we can get past that. Okay, this guy he I can't there are going to be times where She's just going to just ignore your foolishness There's going to be time where he's going to ignore her foolishness because of they they know they both love each other And love the lord That's what happened to andre he I know he I'm gonna look at I'm looking at the camera and look down. I see I see Yeah, I'm like Did you get mad and kick him off brother? No, I didn't touch anything, you know, but for some reason he's using I don't know what he's using. He's uh that 1980s A camcorder instead of what he normally use. He's got a good camera But anyway, I guess he hopefully he'll he'll pop back on.  Look somebody He said a drake got raptured So, I hope he let's I hope he didn't I hope I hope he didn't Oh, yeah, that would be bad for me and you brother. Everybody's in trouble I would I would run I would run to the guillotine. Yeah, man We had another comment from uh, uh, my name is Says, uh, I'm still wondering if uh, if I have a problem because seems I'm the only one that Finds being physically attractive important No, you miss what we said you said that earlier. I guess some people are saying that no, that is important That is that's still that's still important. I mean come on. Let's let's let's be let's be real christians And let's let's not start capping in the comment section. Y'all know good and well All right, that is high on the menu. That is one of the first things you look at all right because if that's not there There has to be some physical attraction Like I have to be physically attracted to my wife And she has to be physically attracted to me if that does not happen from the jump And then if that doesn't continue to be then that leaves room for the enemy to creep in Let's not try to act like we we're so above reproach To where we cannot make common sense judgments on things. All right, they can love the bible all day. Listen They can love the bible all day and they can read the word, but if you're not attracted to sis It's a deal breaker. Yeah, they can they can be anointed Um They can be filled full of the spirit, you know quote unquote It is something that even god listen god is the one who tells us how beautiful a person is In the bible and so it is it is important. Uh, it's it's an issue and uh now If it's not if if you are a lady and it's not important you but it is to him But then then that's going to be an issue vice versa for him to her Um the things that you again listen What's important to you may not be important to him and you can't tell that person that it shouldn't be important Just like he can't or she can't tell you what shouldn't be important and so That all comes comes around from loving god and being open to you know what I'll meet this person's need He'll meet my or she'll meet my needs That's how we work together guys and so um, but if you downplay what's important to the next person um like for example My wife is a lot more sensitive than I am And I would I would rather she wouldn't I'd rather she you know be more like me, but then again if she were more like me What would she be she'd be me and I'm not I'm not trying to marry me. I don't I don't want to be married to me I want to be married to to her so be real buddhist. Yeah So that's that's that's just how it is. So um, I've got to and I gotta force myself I gotta make sure that I understand what's important to her again. She'll tell me stuff Uh, and she'll say you know like a lot of times I may not listen or because here's a problem that we have She can talk to me and I'm trying to do five things at one time And so when she's talking and I'm doing four of the things. What's the first thing that um gets missed What she's saying right what you're saying it bothers her I'm like, I just I I'm pretty sure I just heard what you said and I won't tell her that way I'll say I heard what you said Of course I heard what you said And she's know you didn't I said well say it again. Let's make sure right So But I have to be sensitive enough that this is these are the things that she wants right She wants to because listen a lot of times. What is one more to do? She wants to talk Right. No guy ever Perked up and got happy when his when his wife or girlfriend said Uh, we need to talk. Can we talk? No, no, no, that sounds like the principal office right there. Yeah We When you start off if you start off a company me and my wife we talked about that uh on our channel Uh, me and nicky was up dra. How you doing bruh? Yeah, but you get a better camera. You got a better camera now Yeah, man, but we talked about that let me use if you if you ever want to talk to your husband Don't start off the conversation with honey. We need to talk Find some other creative way.  I don't know what y'all do, you know, y'all have girls talk Y'all y'all are very creative find some other way to just be casual with it be smooth You know, just start talking. How about that? Just start talking. It's just rather than saying. Yeah, hey I'm bringing you on trial. We got to talk because Because your defense mechanisms are already on high alert at that point So go ahead dra No, no, you're right. You're right. You're absolutely right and if yeah, they get any wisdom from from that That's it. You know, you want to have a conversation with your your men Try not to go in with that. Hey, uh, I think we need to talk or Uh, you know, I got something to get off my chest. So no, no, no, let's let's do that because then Let's not do that Yeah, because you There you go Because what do we do? We just we don't we don't give an introduction to what we're gonna say. We just, you know Start talking right So maybe we ought to try their approach to them and they ought to try our approach to them I don't know me. Maybe that's what it ought to be. It don't work. It don't work. I try I try Their reaction is the same as ours. Don't do I'm like, see that don't work. Do it. I told you don't work. But see that's You may not say this I'm sorry. You may not say this but this is what they're thinking What now? What now? You know, uh, talk, you know, we're thinking what now? Yeah, I'm not gonna say it because we love I was uh, we went to this uh, this uh, this conference And I'll never forget it was so funny and everybody in the arena started laughing And the story was basically a man with his with his wife. Oh no, I'm sorry. What is your offering? They were coming back from the moves or something like that and she started asking questions because sometimes let's just be honest A woman can have an argument With you and you hadn't said a word She started it and finished it. See, I see the guy shaking her head Um, and you're like, whoa, what just happened here because oftentimes women read into things And we are we're right here. We're on the surface with it And she didn't she didn't go on deep and went around here and oh about and like Hey, it's like you connected some stuff. I'm not even that quick to connect what you're connecting, you know, you ladies sometimes he just ain't that fast He ain't just ain't that quick with it and you you give him too much credit And so like wait a second and so the guy she here's how here's how the story went Y'all see if y'all if you guys and you guys can can write to this They're in the truck and she's just looking at him. She's thinking to herself This is a really good guy, um, but I wonder if I'm if I'm moving too fast And maybe we ought to you know, I don't want to push him too much because he's a good guy and you know Maybe I am pushing him too fast. Now. He hadn't said anything. He's just driving He's looking at his watch ready to get home because the game is going to come on in about an hour And he's thinking oh look my oil needs changing. It's been over 3 000 miles. Let me go ahead and change his oil She's thinking though. I hope I haven't pushed him too far. She's having this conversation with herself And I hope he doesn't want to to Maybe we ought to see other people. Maybe that's what he wants. Maybe maybe he didn't want to be too Maybe I'm I'm putting too much pressure in him. Maybe he wants he may want to change some things and so he asked her She asked him honey. What do you think about change? And he's thinking Change is good. Yeah, no wrong change What he asked and she goes back to talking to herself and she's she's oh my god I must have I've pushed him too fast. Now he wants out of this relationship. I can't believe what I What have I done? Or maybe someone else is he seeing someone else? What is it? And so she's wondering why is he trying to he's speeding? Why is he trying to get home so fast? He's over thinking himself 45 more minutes for the games. I need to hear him get home, right now over here. She's thinking about All the possibilities of ramifications of what he hadn't said she's she's she's making inferences as to what he's saying or not saying And by the time the night's over with She's decided that they need to go ahead and break up and he's thinking wait. What just happened here? I thought we're having a good time And so because sometimes that happens and so it's good for a woman to let herself until let the guy know what he's thinking But you need to understand ladies that sometimes we're just not as deep matter of fact not even sometimes most time We're just not as deep As you guys are we're not What we tell you oftentimes really is in many cases really what we're thinking what you're thinking about nothing And you know what he's thinking about? Nothing nothing a guy can sit there and think about absolutely nothing It just you know how I know we do it all the time. We do it all time Yeah, take what we say at face value And so, you know one of the things that you have to understand and this may help some women in the chat Understand that men compartmentalize a lot easier than women women don't compartmentalize They will find a way to make sure that the bowl of spaghetti Reaches the glass that is 15 feet away Even though the glass of water has nothing to do with the bowl of spaghetti 15 feet away, but y'all will find a way To to to make the two connect and then men are like wait a minute. This is over here And this is over here We can compartmentalize And most of the time like you know we're talking about work. We talk about certain areas of our lives We can say no, this is this This is this This has nothing to do with this. Why are you connecting these and so we don't think like that and so You know, so anyways, that may help somebody out there understand a lot of times what we tell you Take it at face value because that's literally if we're a man of our salt. That's what we mean Wait a second. Wait a second. Who coming for you Tyler? You talking about us? You talking about somebody in chat y'all Telling chat you'll be leaving Tyler alone um Listen So most I I don't know this for for a fact But most cases most often the arguments are just misunderstanding from where the other person's coming from Um, and even when we're saying this I can promise you I won't forget that she's a woman When the the next time we have an argument thinking that she doesn't think like I do and she's gonna um Not remember that I'm a man and we just think differently. We just I don't listen We just talked about it four days ago. I won't talk about it again, right? It's like well, we didn't we didn't come to conclusion. What clues we can come to well We got to cover it from when it happened Uh to now to the future No, that's listen That's too much for me No, and I'm and plus again and I got several teams that I root for and what I'm about to come on and so You single ladies you single men Understand this this is how it works and it's going to be that way for Ever unless God decides to change how he has wired us. It's going to be that way for ever Yeah Hey man, um, that's how we approach life in general We compartmentalize things. Yeah, you know a lot a lot of us go to work Have a drama filled day at work and come home And I always ask us how was work and because we don't want to mix the two It was good Yeah You know it was work And leave it alone like how we said earlier how How women um, what they say the average woman speaks about was it 20 something thousand words per day and the men about 10 11 12,000 a day Now we have these channels of three of us Um, and so we might we might be giving our wives a run for their money, but We don't like talking as much. We we just don't Um, they do and so when they want to talk they're asking to us to do the thing that we don't like to do even even if She wants to sit. Have you you guys like sports? Oh, you know, I do well.  So I'm but do you like sports other than Yeah, I like basketball too. Um, I just I just you missed it.  You be funny I am from Oklahoma. I am an Oklahoma sooner fan And I like the Lakers as well. So I'm gonna talk about my pathetic my pathetic cowboys when they're gonna talk about them So basically you don't like sports, but the rest of us who like sports When a guy wants now just a guy if a guy wants to talk when the game is on Is that is that's no bueno, right?  And if she wants to talk No, I have this rule My my my daughter's my wife will understand this when the game is on we're not in the same room together Why because you don't want to talk? And this is the this is the no talk time, right? And then but guess what's waiting for me soon as I get through watching the game Talk talk a conversation Talk You didn't understand, honey. Don't let your team lose Oh, man. Oh, you you better not talk to me Now here's what happens though in my household if if the cults lose, um, I don't want to talk But I perk up when the cowboys lose. It's just There we go, right there What makes us America's team that's what makes us America's team people hate when we win And they love it when we lose and they have no dog in the fight That's what makes us America's team. You perk up when it comes to cowboy. See that's what I'm talking about The cowboys are america's team because america has become mediocre Amen, you know, I used to I used to think I used to thank god had his hand on you. I used to thank god had his hand on you And what's funny is is this Whoa, listen christie thomas is my family's her daddy is Look what she said. Amen. Amen christie y'all leave christie alone With the giants in this But This this gentleman this gentleman building a biblical truth Building biblical true. He had two comments from early in the in the live I actually want to address Because I believe that we don't do a good job with this in the faith with actually teaching men about this Building biblical truth says I'm looking forward to this video. There's this girl. I'm interested in She is the receptionist at my chiropractor And for over a month, I haven't had the courage to ask her out Then he says He says germane. He called me mr. K Or whatever, uh, I send that girl to facebook friend request And hasn't she hasn't responded? Yes or no, I don't think she has seen it though Uh, that was a month ago So I I think it's worth us, you know, brothers if you don't mind. I know that uh, kory This is your platform. Go ahead. Can we have a discussion on maybe How men should approach women? And and I say that to say this because you see this brother has been he's been, uh Thinking about asking is this girl out this woman out for over a month. It ain't done it. All right Um, but then you do have I do see that awkwardness with a lot of young brothers in the church where they like they come off socially awkward because They don't even know how to approach a girl and like I don't know it's never been a struggle for me But can y'all kind of speak if y'all can't speak on and I'll try to speak on it too Go ahead right if I can't if I may I think it's it's I think what he said about the He said the facebook request is telling because Um, I think that's that's a safe way to get rejected Um, I think what and if he's watching just hopefully you're watching Um, yeah, you you set the expectations way too high, which is why you have a fear of sparking up a conversation with a female that you don't kno