Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Detective Inspector Gary Watts from Task Force Hydra and I'm Detective Chief Superintendent Gayle Hogan from State Crime Operations Command. There have been a number of offences over the last few days that have been quite concerning. Those offences are being investigated under Kilo Aquarius and that investigation is being led by Task Force Hydra working with the regions Metro South, Metropolitan North and South East region. You would understand that those investigations are current so limited in what we can say today in respect to any of the operational matters but we are prepared to answer questions. We'd like to reassure the public that we are investigating those matters. We don't believe that they are random, that we believe that they are targeted offences and that we will continue to investigate them. So, open up for questions. Yes, Detective? Is it new players in the South East Queensland being targeted here? Gypsy Jokers and Hell's Angels and Sydney origin? We don't believe so. We believe the current incidents are localised within Queensland although I am in contact with my interstate colleagues. As I said, we do not believe that these incidents are anyway linked to what's occurring in the state. How concerned are you because it seems to be retaliation, retribution? How concerned are you that this could escalate further? We are concerned that there appears to be an increase in these offences. We are quite concerned about that and we are putting the resources that we need to investigate them. We'd be calling on anyone who has any information that may be able to provide that to crime stoppers. And if there are people out there that have information who aren't inclined to contact crime stoppers and may need to provide that information under protection, we have the ability to provide those protections to those people and their families. Is there a concern that this could be the start of a bikey turf war? Well, we are concerned that they could continue to increase and we will investigate them and ensure that we have the resources to do so. The incidents last night, are you concerned that these are certain outlaw motorcycle gangs that are feuding against each other? Are those two particular ones going out or is this just a wider issue amongst the motorcycle's fraternity as a whole? We believe it's a localised issue. The businesses associated with yesterday's incidents have links to the Hell's Angels outlaw motorcycle gang. And the incidents from several days ago have links with the Bandidos outlaw motorcycle gang. So at this stage it is our interpretation that it is a localised dispute. And as the Chief Superintendent said, we are very concerned that this may escalate. So we are working with our regional colleagues, both North Metropolitan South and also the South Eastern Region together to solve these crimes. Is there a head of the Gypsy joke that could be involved as well? Not at this stage. I am aware of an incident and we are investigating that incident in conjunction with Keelow Aquarius. But at this stage we haven't linked that incident to the other incidents. What are you doing to ensure that this doesn't escalate further? As best we can. We are working with our regional colleagues in an attempt to investigate and to solve these crimes. And if we have sufficient evidence we will be putting people before the courts in relation to those offences. So evidently you don't think he is linked to the two incidents today? I am sorry I just didn't quite hear that. We don't believe so at this stage. We are certainly open to that and if it is the case then we will link it. But at this stage we don't believe it is linked. Have you spoken to any of the clubs involved? We are making arrangements and arrangements have been made to meet with senior representatives of both the Bandidos and the Hells Angels outlaw motorcycle gangs. How cooperative have they been? Probably can't say at this stage. There has been limited cooperation at this stage but we will certainly see how things progress as the days go. How concerned are you as the boss of Hydra about the lawlessness that seems to be happening night after night here? Well certainly won't go to say that that's occurring but we are concerned. Offences of these nature are of concern to Tarsal's Hydra and we utilise whatever resources we can in an attempt to solve them and we will be doing the same with the offences that have occurred to date. It certainly sounds very scary late night shootings and motorcycle gangs but how worried should the general public be about all this? The general public, as I said earlier, we believe that these are not random offences, that they are targeted. So the general public needs to be mindful at any time in respect to things that they see on that to contact the police. But we don't believe that the general public are at risk at this time. Understanding they might have been an incident this afternoon, are you aware of that and could that be? I am aware of the incident at this stage with the information known to me. I do not believe it's linked. However that may change again as investigations continue. Can you tell me what spark has just happened over the last few days? No, not at this stage. We're looking at a number of theories behind the catalyst for the escalation of tensions between the two groups and it's certainly something we'll be addressing. I think Channel 7 ran a story a couple of nights ago saying that they'd been told it was due to a Hell's Angel bike being bashed. Without going into the specifics in relation to the number of investigations and investigations we are conducting, that is certainly something that we'll be looking at. Did you have intelligence that this could have been simmering for a while? We heard from some people involved in the groups that they thought they predicted this would happen. Did you have intelligence to say that this was on the horizon? We don't comment on what intelligence that we have. What we can assure the public is that if we have intelligence that we need to put out to the public to let them know that there may be a threat to them, we would do so. Will you step up patrols perhaps on known businesses with links to either Bandios or Hell's Angels members given that they seem to be a pretty easy target for one of those two? That's certainly one of the options that we'll be looking at in finding a resolution to what's occurring. And how good is it given that the Tories for their lack of cooperation with the police? How much more difficult does it make your job when these things happen and you just get a wall of silence? The non-cooperation of ONCG members with law enforcement agencies is a cause for concern. It makes our job more difficult, but certainly not impossible. So at this stage the two incidents from yesterday, the only two that are being linked officially? The two incidents from yesterday and also the two incidents from two days previous, I think it was Tuesday 24th of April. Is it worrying then that I'm sure you're investigating whether or not the Gypsy Jokers incident has links to these others? Is it worrying that they may become a force in what is clearly a feud between the two other motorcycle gangs? We haven't been able to link that at this stage, so I'm not going to comment on that. Was the Gypsy Jokers Clubhouse actually hit? Did they get the wrong principle? That's under investigation, but it's my understanding that the Gypsy Jokers Clubhouse itself was not damaged. It's very similar to behaviour in Sydney at the moment. Do you think it could sort of be copycat behaviour if the feuds in Sydney are sort of encouraging? We do not believe that the incidents that are occurring in Queensland are linked to the incidents in New South Wales or interstate. We believe it's a localised issue between the two groups. Is that a source for it? Yes. The early hours of Tuesday the 24th of April, a premises at Marooka had a motor vehicle destroyed by fire. That premises has links with the Banditos Adler Motorcycle Gang. Some two hours later a tattoo studio at Mermaid Beach was a subject of willful damage by fire. That premises also has links with the Banditos Adler Motorcycle Gang. And then yesterday just after 4pm I believe it was the tattoo studio at Norman Park where assaults and willful damage offences occurred. That has links with the Hell's Angels Adler Motorcycle Gang. And about 30 minutes later a locksmith at East Brisbane was a subject of assaults and damage offences. And that locksmith has links with the Hell's Angels Adler Motorcycle Gang. How did the people that were injured in those? Sorry? How did the two or four people that were injured in those assaults? How are they? They suffered injuries but certainly not life threatening injuries. So despite all that people were starting and escalating here in Brisbane and the South East? No we believe it's a localised dispute between two Adler Motorcycle Gangs. The tattoo shop yesterday, we were out this afternoon and noticed some forensic people taking bullets out of the front of the premises. Do you know if that's related to yesterday or to previous? Our inquiries in relation to that are ongoing. I'm unable to say when that occurred. So certainly if we get information we'll release that if we can. But it's not my understanding that it occurred in yesterday afternoon's incident. The broken arms and the baseball bats notwithstanding is the substantive difference between the violence that's occurring in Sydney and the violence that's occurring here is that it's merely property being targeted. With the exception of those people yesterday. Can I have your question again? Sure. Is the difference between the violence in Sydney and the violence here being that it's only you?


Thanh Chuong Viet Palace is Mr. Thanh Chuong's outstanding unique cultural art space which is famous in Vietnam and the world, recognized as the soul of Vietnam. Thanh Chuong Viet Palace is a destination in Vietnam which contains the essence of cultural, spiritual, state heritage of Vietnamese people. Thanh Chuong, born in a large family in 1949, and Thanh Chuong, since his early childhood, was intended by his father, writer Kim Lan, to be a painter. He started to draw when he was six years old and in 1960 he passed the entrance examination to Vietnam Institute of Fine Arts. He's an artist and you can see some of his very famous and many people all over the world want to buy his work. And his father is a writer, Kim Lan, and at the same time his father was an actor too. He acted in the film, Lang Vu Dai Ngay Ae. He's an imitation of his father when he acted as an actor in the film. To remember his father, his father's corner, the place to remember Kim Lan, the writer. During the resistance war, he became a soldier and served in the army throughout nine years. There he was a bombed disposal soldier and at the same time an art teacher giving drawing lessons for soldiers. After the restoration of peace, he has been working as a painter for Vietnam's prestigious literature and art weekly magazine up till now. His famous for his paintings, rich and vivid colors and an individual style, characteristic of Vietnamese contemporary folk art. So this is where the ancient water puppets- Water puppets. And look at the bridge. Yes. Middle stone. Ancient. Ancient stone. Long, long time ago. From Tinh Vinh, you know, from Highland of Vietnam. And here, here, thousand years old, more than thousand years old, small elephant made of stone. He specializes in locker and oil paintings. His painting exhibitions have been held in many foreign countries since 1974. Thanh Chua Wong, according to art critic Bu Nhu Hong, and he writes, Thanh Chua Wong is an extraordinary artist, a famed leader of Vietnam's art world. Ever since he started drawing at age six, Thanh Chua Wong's passion and special talent have been recognized with countless awards. It can be said that art has become his way of life. His vision, and his own personal school of thought. The artist has a highly individual and unique way of looking at the world, paired with an intelligent and flexible aesthetic sensibility. So did he get this and put this here? Yeah, he got it from in province Ninh Binh, 100 kilometers from Hanoi and brought it here. We can sit silently to drink green tea early in the morning. Early in the morning after doing the exercise, we may sit here to drink green tea. Strong green tea. Farmers use to catch fish, you catch fish and put it in. Grab and fish, here for fish. They cannot come out anymore. Yeah, you cannot come out. Here is the farmer's house in the past. We use mud to build it. Here is clay, clay, clay to build the house. So that it will be warm in winter and will be cool in summer. Many ancient stone sculptures. He stays here sometimes, he uses oil lamps for the workers to do even at night. Oh, so he works a lot. I like to build this house. So he asked the government to do as he wished. He built and then disliked it, he destroyed and then built again. That house he built three times until he thinks that it's okay. He gets happy with it. This seventh century? This seventh century. Here is a newly made statue. I made two and gave him one. So you're the sculptor of this? Yeah, easy limit for me. When I was seven years old, I sit on the buffalo's back and then play. And you play the flute? Yeah, flute. And this is you? This is my imitation to remember my young age. I built two, opposite, two opposite like this. Wonderful. If I put two in opposite position, it's not nice. Here lonely but very nice. It is the imitation to remember my young age. But newly made. Saber and steel. I can make one for you. When was this made? When did you make this? In 1990. For Tantyu Wong to paint is to play. He changes composition, turns things this way and that way and plays tricks on us, though he were performing circus. Shape and line evolve in unexpected, unimaginable ways to bring out the eccentricity, the humor and the joy of his subject. All subjects are fair game. He effortlessly renders them in his personal artistic language that is unmistakably Tantyu Wong. He realized even at a young age the affinity between modern art simplification of its graphic language and tendency towards pristine primitivism with Vietnam's own folk aesthetic. With his strong talent and individualistic style, it didn't take long for Tantyu Wong to digest these influences and create for himself a personal artistic language.


And we hear the ID TechEx show. Hi. Hi. So I'm Ilaria Varoli. I'm the executive vice president for My Ant. My Ant is a textile computing platform. Our first product on the market is going to be an underwear. This is what the box looks like. And just to give you an idea, it comes with instructions. Five different underwear. A module and a charger. And it's this one here. I'm just going to show you. So what the underwear looks like. So what's special about it? And the product is called Skin. So from the underwear, we capture a very accurate ECG. We have breathing rate. We capture motion and body temperature. This is some of our other products. This is, for example, a replacement for our Holter monitor. It's a 12-litre ECG. And it will be on the market later in 2020 as well. What is happening there? This is the Holter. So does it also do all this tracking and ECG and everything? So it has, this is just a prototype. But essentially what it is, it's going to be a very comfortable wrap shirt with a 12-litre ECG. So it replaces, for example, the gel electrodes that are currently needed for continuous ECG monitoring. But ECG is not so easy to record, right? Or do you have accuracy? Yeah, it's very accurate. This is very accurate. This also, from the waistband, I think we're the only ones who can capture an ECG from a waistband. And that's a four-lead ECG. How do you capture it from the waistband? Where's the sensors? So the sensors are integrated into the band. And it's four different sensors. And this is the modules and then that communicates with your phone via Bluetooth. And then it goes to the cloud and then it can communicate with whomever you want it to, whether it's your doctor, your family, your coach, your trainer. And so the way to do ECG is that you need to have different points and kind of like do mathematics in between. Exactly. A little bit, right? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And then it's about heart rate variability also. Exactly. We can capture heart rate variability as well. I want to show you another product over here. So this is a bra and the band for the bra is very similar to the band in the underwear so it captures similar information. We also have a headband. This is for sleep. And from here we capture an EEG as well, the ECG and oxygen saturation level. What is the EEG? You said ECG. Like the brain waves. Brain waves? Yes. How much data can you get out of the brain waves? Well, quite a bit. To give you an example, this band with the combination of the underwear or the halter that I showed you before, that combination can, for example, detect sleep apnea. So now it might be possible to detect sleep apnea from home as opposed to having to go to a sleep clinic. And can I show you one more product here? We have a polo shirt and from the sleeves we capture continuous blood pressure. Really? Yeah. So is it tight here? And it's not. No, it's cuffless. So it doesn't tighten. And what do I see here? What is this? What you see here is sensors. Again, knit it. But we also have PPG here as well, which is an optical sensor. So this is a combination of sensors. The blood pressure t-shirt, is it far away in the future? No, it's also going to come out in 2020, probably in the later part of 2020. So all this stuff is coming into mass production? Well, yes, hopefully. Yeah? So my aunt is full end-to-end. We're end-to-end, so we start from the fiber. We do almost everything in house. We have many different types of engineers. We have fashion designers. We have user experience industrial designers. And together we build, we start from the fiber and we go all the way to mass production. So the actual materials and stuff, you have the expertise in that? Yes, yeah. We think we're the world leaders in textile computing. It's a big deal. Yes. This is the next iPhone, no? Because everybody is wearing clothes and if it becomes usable to have smart clothing, it's going to be huge. So listen, this is the idea. The idea is to democratize access to technology. We really don't like the idea that, for example, elderly people or the very young or the very sick or the marginalized in our society don't have access to technology. And we would love to provide them with access and clothing is ubiquitous. Maybe you can do this right there.  What does that mean? You can work with the clothing companies? Yeah. I mean, co-design doesn't have to be clothing only. But yes. So one of the things that we do, for example, is we partner with many different universities and we use their talent. It's partly for talent creation. It's partly to develop standards within the industry but also to be creative together. So we like to nurture ideas that come out of universities. It says 100% of the population of the body, 100% of the time? Yeah. The idea is, like I mentioned before, is clothing but textiles in general. So it could be car seats. It could be office chairs. It could be rugs. They're around us all the time. So they're around us 100% of the time. They cover almost 100% of the body. And the access is, again, ubiquitous. I want to have a smart pillow and a smart blanket in the bed. You can do? Yes. So we're working on many different products, not just clothing. And a lot of them are around the bed, the sheets, for example, mattress covers. Yes, we have pillows. Because that would be the great place to have the sleep tracker in the bed. Yeah, exactly. And what do we have here? Integrate. That's all the different things? Yeah. So again, here we show the fact that we're able to integrate any technology that the advancement in material science with regard to fabrics is incredible. There's a lot of also advancement in the automated machines. So for example, knitting machines and weaving, et cetera. So the combination of that make it possible to integrate technology in every way, shape, or form into textiles. And right here, there's a slot for the part that also has the chipset and the battery. Yeah. And how long is the battery going to last? So right now the battery lasts four days. Four? Yeah. So just charge it a couple of times a week? You know what? Every four days you need to charge it. It takes about 20 minutes to charge. But obviously eventually the idea is to integrate the battery directly into the textiles with flexible. And then you just change the underwear every day? And then you just change the underwear? And then you have for the whole week? As often as you need to. And to the app. And then you have the whole week. That's going to be cables? Yeah, that's the charger. This is the module. It's empty. Nice. And eventually the module could potentially be updated if you have a different module in the future. And you just keep the same underwear. It's going to be like a platform maybe. Yeah, or the other way around. Yeah. All right. Cool. So January 2020, what's the price? Is it already decided? Not yet. But hopefully it'll be in the way that everybody would want to have this. The combination of the integration of different types of medical devices. If you replace them, if you replace the underwear and if you compare it to any other wearable, for example, this is going to be much less expensive. Nice. And then you have some other things happening here. This is a heat? Yeah. We have a heated garment. Let me just see if I can open it. Maybe right here. But is this this one? It's that one. Yeah. Yeah. So we have heated products. These are designed for sports, but also for workwear, work clothing. It's protective for people who work outside in cold weather, for example. Where does it heat? Let me show you here. Because this doesn't have the module. So the places in the body that need to be heated are well studied by our engineers to figure out exactly where you should go in our textile programmers. This is what the battery pack looks like right now. It can heat the garment. And also we have a heated base layer bottom as well. So there's some stuff inside that does the heating in the sides? Yeah. There's conductive threads and sensors that heat the garment. You know what might be interesting also is this is a knee brace. And this knee brace is designed for rehab and pain management and that it also has electrostimulation and heat. As well as motion sensors for rehabilitation purposes. So for rehab, let's say people that have knee surgery? Yeah, exactly. Knee replacement maybe. But also for pain management in general for the elderly, not just for athletes. What does it do with the pain? Just the heat and electrostimulation together. Electrostimulation is a proven way of managing pain a little bit. Yeah. And so is heat clearly? Heat helps. Yeah. Nice. And then there's all the trackers you're talking about to show an app if you're doing the correct rehabilitation. Yeah, exactly. How soon? This? This is probably maybe the 2021. Ah, not 2020, you can't? I like to say 2020. Okay, cool. Everything could be speeding up because 7 or 8 billion people, right? Everybody needs smart closing, I think. So you'll be busy. Exactly, it's inevitable, right? Right. Thank you.


There's a new nut on the market called beru almonds, branded as barucas, or just beru nuts. Technically it isn't a nut, but a seed that's native to the Brazilian savanna, known as the serrado, which is sadly now among the most threatened ecosystems in the world. Over the last 30 years, extensive cattle ranching and feed crop production to fatten said cattle have destroyed much of this ecosystem. So hey, if we can make it profitable not to cut down the native trees by selling beru nuts, for example, then that could be good for the ecosystem's health, but what about our health? Although beru nuts are popular and widely consumed, few studies report on their biological properties. They do have a lot of polyphenol phytonutrients, presumably accounting for their high antioxidant activity, and 90% of the phytonutrients are present in the peel. So are they nutritious? Sure. But do they have any special health benefits, and not just for the treatment of chubby mice? Groups fed beru nuts showed lower cholesterol, supposedly indicating that they have a great potential for dietary use in preventing and controlling cholesterol problems. But the groups were rats, and that was compared to lard. Basically anything lowers your cholesterol compared to eating lard. Nevertheless, there haven't been any reports about the effects of beru almond consumption on human health until this study, a randomized controlled study of humans, found that eating less than an ounce a day for six weeks led to a 9% drop in LDL cholesterol. 20 grams would be about 15 nuts or a palm full.  How good is a 9.4% drop in LDL? Well, that's the kind of drop you can get from regular almonds, though macadamias and pistachios may work even better. But those were at much higher doses. So it appeared 20 grams of beru nuts worked as well as 73 grams of almonds, and so on a per serving basis, or per calorie basis, beru nuts really did seem to be special. Now there are lower dose nuts studies showing similar, even better results. Here people were given 25 grams of almonds for just four weeks and got about a 6% drop, and in this study, people were given just 10 grams of almonds a day. I mean, we're talking just like seven individual almonds a day and got more like a 30% drop in the same timeframe as the beru nuts. Three times better at half the dose with regular almonds. The biggest reason we're more confident in regular almonds is that studies have been done over and over more than a dozen randomized controlled trials, whereas in the only other cholesterol trial of beru nuts, there was no significant benefit at all for LDL cholesterol, even at the same 20 gram dose, given for even a longer period of eight weeks. That's a bummer. The primary reason I would suggest choosing other nuts instead, though, is that you can't get beru nuts raw. They contain certain compounds that have to be inactivated by heat before human consumption. So the reason raw nuts are preferable is because of advanced glycation end products, so-called glycotoxins, which are known to contribute to increased oxidative stress and inflammation. Glycotoxins are naturally present in uncooked, animal-derived foods, but then dry heat cooking like grilling can make things worse. So the three highest levels recorded are bacon, broiled hot dogs, and roasted barbecue chicken skin. Nothing comes close to that. Chicken McNuggets come in here? Anyway, any foods high in fat and protein can create AGEs at high enough temperatures. So although plant foods tend to contain relatively few AGEs, even after cooking, there are some high-fat, high-protein plant foods. For example, boiled tofu, like in a soup, is down here, but the same serving size of broiled tofu is up here. Now again, with most plant foods, it's not at all a problem. Here's a raw apple, and here's a baked apple. Doesn't really matter, since it's not high-fat or high protein. I'm surprised that veggie burgers were so low, even when baked or fried, but nuts and seeds are up in tofu territory, especially when roasted, which is why I would recommend raw nuts and seeds and nuts and seed butters whenever you have a choice.


Hello everyone, this is financial author Amit Dan of amitdan.com on this channel You'll find financial travel and more videos just like the one you're watching right now If you like what you see, please give it a thumbs up and consider subscribing Hello everyone, this is Amit Dan of amitdan.com today I'll have another episode of unboxing and brief review video and I'll be presenting the raw power 5700 mAh power bank battery charger and I'm expecting this video about five six minutes long in the past I have reviewed two other charger by the same manufacturer and I'm very happy with the product They make quality product and I'd like to mention that this is not a paid or affiliated review I purchased this with my own money and I'll just open up the box and go through with some Specs the so the first thing I'd like to mention that This has capability to charge two times faster it has 2a and 2.4a output which makes charging faster than normal chargers and The smart charging technology which detects how fast your device can take charge and then it Charges to deliver the optimal charging for your device and also it has a protection Not to overcharge your device. So it should be very compact. It's only 136 gram so which is very lightweight and good for traveling. So let's open it up and see what we have here So this is the box Okay, so we have this one here and Actually, there's a big bag for this which I didn't expect So this is you can put it in here before you put it in your bag or our purse So they touched a mesh type of bag, which is very nice and then There's a guarantee card Oh It looks like you can get new purchase for new reasons for free and it comes with a 12 months extended warranty Okay, and even you'll get 18 months warranty if you just register online and then looks like they include a small manual with all the features and How to use it? So I'll just put it here for now And here's the charger so they included USB cable and I'll just check out of the box Okay, so here is the charger. I can feel the cold coldness of the metal because this is looks like made of aluminum the body it's not plastic so it fist cold to touch and and Here We have Just a model number and capacity is 6700 mah and input is 5 volt to amp and output is 2.4 a maximum here we have the USB Slot and this is 2.4 amp Which is I smart fast charging and here's the input for which is micro USB and There's a button here right here. So if you press the button Then it shows you how much charge is remaining or How much charge is left over so let's say if I press it press it right now Then you'll see that there are three buttons lit It may be you may not be able to see it three because I believe on camera it might shows four But I can see that three buttons three dots are lit and one is Not lit so that means that you know it has 75% charge left. So let's see if you want to charge your phone then all you have to do is you put this in here and You put the other end on your phone just like this way and Then the phone starts charging so What this device does that is that it detects the charge The type of battery on the phone or whatever you're charging and it optimizes the charging Rate and the time to charge the fastest way possible and then Once the charge is complete it shuts off or stops sending charge to the device automatically That way the battery doesn't get damaged or anything. So this is a smart charging device and it's Very it looks like very compact and lightweight So it's gonna be very good for traveling and actually I'm planning to take this on my trip to Asia Which is coming up in about three weeks. So this is a very Portable charger to keep it handy on the plane or whenever you're traveling. You can just put it in your purse or you can just Put it in your pocket as well so that concludes the brief review and unboxing of This product if you like what you see, please give it a thumbs up and consider subscribing and there will be more videos coming up So I'll see you shortly. Thank you


Today's podcast is brought to you by WarbyParker.com. Get a free five-day home try-on at www.WarbyParkerTrial.com. The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you.  I locked myself in my bedroom, I think, to leave me alone. They know that daddy, it's daddy time. They know to leave me alone. We're talking with Greg Fitzsimmons.  I'm in New York City. How many dogs do you have? Two small dogs. What are they? One is a pisser. The other is a biter. They're small, annoying dogs. We went to Italy for two weeks this summer. There's a thing called Rover.com where you can find people through the Internet that will take your dog into their home. We warned them. We said, this guy bites and she pisses a lot. She said, it's no problem. It was $1,000 for two weeks. I got an email three days later.  We got probably five emails getting progressively worse.  It just kept, like by the end, she said, is there a family member or a friend that I can drop the dog off with and I just wrote back, nope.  Glass top is, that's the guy from Hogan's Heroes, right? I think it was Danny Thomas. At one point we had eight animals in our house, nine if you include my, I can't do it. I'm divorced now, so I can't say nine if you include my sister in law. I just did your show and I told the absolute truth about my life. I know that was startling. Yeah, so I have to go back to prevaricating because this is my show and in order to do certain jokes, I have to invent new wives and new children. Because the stuff I say, like you can speak the truth, my sense of humor is just so horrible that I have to have fictitious kids and fictitious wives.  We went away and I had a perfectly trained labradoodle who could sit. I'd say, Cody, sit, right? I come back from the vacation and my dog would no longer sit. And I called the dog sitter and I said, something happened. The dog refuses to sit and the dog sitter said, well, he knows how to sit.   It was a joke that I was coming up with while you were talking and I realized I got nothing. And why does he whine when I scratch his throat now? You know, there are two jokes that were given to me that I rejected and one of them, Mike Indolfi, you may not know him. He's a great comedy writer. Is he dirty? No, no. He's like worked on Roseanne with me years ago. No, I mean, was he filthy? Did he smell? Yes, he did as a matter of fact. Yes, I know that guy. He had a joke. I bought my dog a choke collar, but only to heighten his orgasm. You rejected that? I either rejected it or, you know what, I begged him for it. That's right. I begged him for it. He wouldn't give it to me. I begged him for that joke and he would not give it to me. So you were in Italy with the family? Yeah, I got two kids, they're 15 and 13. And where does the bus pick them up for school? What's the address? If the fans want to see your kids waiting at the bus. Do you know that there's not a single photo of either of my kids on the internet? It's like a rule in the house. Oh, there is. Oh, there it is.  How much do you worry that you're invading their privacy? I blissfully ignore another. I'm very good about protecting you. I don't talk about anything that's too real and sensitive. But I talk about them a lot because most of my relationship with them is that it's just a fascinating love. I can just sit and stare at them to the point where I have to look away because I feel like it's going to make them comfortable. But just watching them grow up and seeing in this natural state what a human being does at different ages. I'm in awe. So I don't have much that's bad to say about them. There's a picture of me.  I spoke to you, I think I did your show the day before, right? The day before, yeah.  Why would I say that? It was one of the best experiences of my life doing it. Didn't we have fun? Isn't that great? Yes, absolutely. Tons of good feedback on Twitter. Yeah, yeah.  And so what got me through the worst week of my life, because it is, just your family is destroyed, I was doing you and leaning on friends, realizing the importance of friends and pimps. And but, you know, I was alienated from one of my sons because he loves women, so he's going to take the side. Yeah. The wife, no matter what. But I kind of got back together with him and there's this picture. Oh, that's great. Yeah, there's a picture that was taken of me with him. Alex, my manager took it Saturday night. And I looked so feeble.   And I looked at this picture. I can't even show it to anybody. It's just so haunting. I look like my father, you know, I feel like I'm an old man. I'm staring into my son's eyes and it's very, it's very sad to just see yourself that old and feeble. Well, it's very kind of at a pole.  And then I realized like he's four inches taller. I go under now. He holds, he hugs me like I'm his prom date. And it's just like so castrating and kind of emasculating. And I, when I hug him, he's ripped. He's a varsity athlete. So he's just, his body is like an adonis.  And there's a belly and like two thick legs and bald. And I'm holding onto this guy. The prime of his light, like, like good things are still happening to his body. It's improving right now. It's getting stronger. It's getting his face is getting more chiseled. His testosterone is only building. And I'm shrinking and petrifying and disappearing. Yeah. Do you, when you say at a pole, I was talking to somebody late last night and she asked me if I'm an alpha dog who is afraid that my son would be more successful than I am. And I said, the bum on the street is more successful than I am. You have, he's no longer with us, but your father was very successful in broadcasting. Was your father happy for your success or jealous? And would you be comfortable with a son who was a more famous comedian than you? Honestly. Well, I'll start with my father and, you know, he went through a period. I think we talked about the summer show where he didn't work for four years when he was about 40 years old. You know, he was, he still did some voiceover commercials, but he didn't have a radio show. And he went through a real midlife crisis.  And, you know, but he, I have colored underwear. Sometimes it's red, sometimes it's brown. Sometimes.  Oh, I wish we took calls. I wish we were to decide which is more offensive.  And implying that you can borrow their underwear. Oh my God.  So yes, I think that his self-esteem and his, his self-worth was very low, but I felt nothing but support from him, from my stand up. He, he made a comment at one point, like stand up for me was, he was a very domineering guy and he tried to make all your decisions for you. And you went along with it mostly because the guy was always right. And it was very frustrating to have a father who knew every answer to what you should do in life and how to handle things. And so when I started doing stand up, it was like the first time in my life I'd felt I'd accomplished something on my own without him involved. And so he was very supportive of my stand up. I'd go on his radio show and he plugged me as the hottest young comedian in the country and it was kind of the shtick that he would do with Al Rosenberg. And he would come see me and then one time he came to see me at the Princeton Catcher Rising Star.  I have to stop you because this is the most boring, no, no. I'm having, no. I am having, I swear to God, I'm gonna stop you for one second. My father, who art in heaven or hell, came to see me at the Princeton Catcher Rising Star. I was headlining. It was on a weeknight. It was like a mid-sized crowd and I owned it. It was, he saw me in my absolute prime as a stand up comic working, you know, not a packed crowd but a good crowd on a weeknight and really working at playing with the audience telling jokes and that was the show before he passed away where he said, you know, oh, you got, this is, this is your profession. So what happened to you at Princeton Catcher Rising Star? I was kidding. Yeah, what's your story? Well, it was kind of different like he'd always been proud. You know, he'd get there early. He'd always like meet the club owner, the manager and like become best friends with the guy by the end of the night. I would hate that. Yeah, it kind of overshadowed me a little bit. Yeah. And then after the show he said to me, you got to write more. You know, you're not writing enough.  And it was like a big deal to me that he did that. And I didn't talk to him for a while after that. Hmm. And I just so, so I felt like he was going to encroach on it. I didn't want him to take credit for it or to feel like he could tell me what to do. But at the same time, I think it would have been really hard for him. I think I was just starting out when he saw me. He died after I'd been doing stand-up for probably maybe three years. And, um... Oh, so he saw that Letterman shot? No. I'm saying that's what killed him. I don't know. I was just trying to be mean to you. Yes. You've got a gift. You've got a gift of taking a really nice emotional moment and just grounding it to your insecure negativity. So he died three years in. That's not fair. Yeah. So he died. But I think it would have been tough. I definitely would forecast that it would have been hard for him if I'd gotten more successful. And I don't know that I am more successful now than he was. I mean, in New York, he was a big celebrity. He certainly made a ton of money. But then I got national. I got more national credits. But I don't know that I'm more successful than him. Really?  And I think there's something to that. Why?   It was pretty big. For an Irishman or just for people in... Well, for an eight-year-old. It was really big. Two hands. Wow. Wow. Sorry.   We took a securities route, but we got back to the question, which was, would your father have resented your success? So you do think he would have resented the success. And you're still keeping score, which is interesting. You're still measuring yourself against your father. The thing is, is he lived in a different time. Our father's, the buying power for your money back then was much greater.  And now it's like most of your salary. And so you got to save for years. And so he belonged to a country club. We had a second house.  He drove a Corvette. You know, we lived. We had money. And I don't belong to a country club. I don't have a second house. So maybe he is more successful than I was. He was more successful than I am. Right. I have a theory about that, because this is like music to my ears about how I cannot maintain the lifestyle that my father had. And he was, you know, frugal, Feldman, and so I shouldn't do that. But yeah, things that he could afford, I can't afford. And I think you're absolutely right about the purchasing power of the dollar. My theory about this is that after World War II, the greatest generation, I think your dad was too young to go off and fight war. A little bit. Yeah. But that... Or he was too been hiding in Venice Beach, California. Literally. Did he grow up in Venice Beach, California? No, he grew up in the Bronx. But when he came, he did like some basic training. And then he just like left and lived in Venice for a couple years. I mean, I think he was a draft dodger. Not a draft dodger, but he might have been a deserter. This was after World War II, though. This would have been in like 1960. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, that's nothing. When did the Korean War end? In my mind, it's still going, pal. Do you have mass DVDs? So, you know, after World War II, we... I don't know, what did we lose? Like half a million men? Yeah. Something like that. It was pretty bad. And all these poor guys, like my dad, went overseas and put it on the line. For many reasons, they put it on the line. But one of the things they put it on the line for was, you know, our industrialists. They fought for many things, but one of the things they fought for was our... Banks. The banks and the economic systems. The economic system. And I think when they got back, the banks, the industrials, them, the people who control it said, hey, you know what? It's not just the GI Bill. It's not... We got to make sure that these guys deserve a nice lifestyle. So, they kind of earned that purchasing power. And then around... There's also unions were still strong then, so you had more security with health insurance and pensions and all that. And what do you say to my theory that our generation were pieces of shit? Yeah. We didn't sacrifice anything. Nope. Why should our dollar purchase more than our fathers? All we did, we came of age after Reagan or during the Reagan years, we were told, you know, get what's yours. So, everybody got what's theirs and... Right. Started in the 80s and it became about BMWs and remote controls.  We're Cold War veterans. Right. And so, no, I agree with you. I think that we're entitled and weak.  You know, the American people haven't known war in the time that I've been alive. And, you know, it's something that is going to catch up to us because it feels like in, you know, if George Mills were to have a theory about this, it would be that, you know, life eventually evens out the population one way or another. Mm-hmm. We're overpopulated with the soft generation. And we're bringing, with medicine, we're keeping people alive to reproduce who should not be reproducing. Right. And I'm doing a seminar on eugenics tomorrow of mass sterilization of... So, your kids, would you be okay with your children? Would you keep score to see if they're more successful than you? Right now, I can't imagine it. But knowing me and my insecurities, I could see it happening. Like, I've got some close friends and sometimes I catch myself being competitive with them. Mostly you, because it just is just so up and down. It's trying to figure out who's more successful. Right. Yeah, it is tough to measure each other. Like, who's the alpha here? Well, it depends on whose podcast it is. Like, when I'm on my podcast, I feel like you dominate and you ask me a lot of questions. Mm-hmm. So, I feel like on your podcast, I should be leading this a little bit more. Are you... So, you didn't tell me about your... The divorce, did the actual divorce go down? You said you were up in the air about whether or not it would go well. Well, technically, I'm not divorced yet. I mean, there's still some, you know, I haven't signed all the papers, but it's bad. You know, it's the destruction of a family unit. And the kids are all grown up, but I'm looking into the abyss. Yeah. And I took the one thing, I said this to you on your show, is the one thing that I always was smug about was I was a family guy. Yeah. You know, that was the thing. Ah, you know, I work for Bill Maher, he's got all this money, and he's screwing all these beautiful women, but ultimately he doesn't know the love of a family. And I'm going, well, hmm, don't be smug. You had it for a lot of years.  How many years were you married? 30 years? I was with her for 31 years. So, you have that. You can't take that away when you're going into your older age. You're going to know that you've got those memories and that your life is worth something, and that still is because you accumulated that. It doesn't just vanish. And you know, you've got your relationship back with your son. Obviously that's going to only get better as they get more comfortable with the divorce. Right. And then you've got Tinder. I go on a different app. Tinder. It's for Jared. Jared, the subway guy turned me on to Tinder.   He gives the state of the union between the two of you. Right. That is, oh my God. But you know, one of the things is, I'm older than you, is this craving of emotional intimacy and talking to women. Can you imagine? And hanging on their every word? Yeah. Yeah. Were you always like that? Because now I find myself, if I'm around women, I hang on like everything they say. And it's like Moses. No, we just had a friend come over the house. She's a neighbor and she's a very dear friend. She's so hot. And she was talking and it was. It's very hard to, you know, not feel an attraction to that. Do you talk to your wife about that? Could you say, you know what? I'm not going to act on this, but I have to say, your friend is very attractive. No, I wouldn't do that. Because I wouldn't want her looking at me while I was looking at her. I want to be able to look at her. She's got nice feet. Oh, I forgot about that. You're, you like feet. I enjoy them. I wouldn't call myself a foot fetish guy, but I would say I have a crush on feet. I have an interest. You know, sandals are my friend. Some people think of like, when a woman has cleavage with her tips, that's it. I'm the same way with like flip flops. That's where I'm looking. Right.  But if you just kind of look down casually, they have no idea. Hmm. And is that from like, oh, is this because I know what this comes from?  Okay, go here. Or are you going to punch me? I want to have my mother go. Wait a second. Do I have permission to, of course. Oh, so she I'm really sorry about you. She told me that at your wedding we were talking and she said, she didn't breastfeed you that you were born during a certain time when they believed that there was the toenail fungus had more protein than breast milk. And you were toast. You were used to toe feed. Yes, I toe fed. And the great thing is, you know, usually you only get two tips. You can go for hours. Thank you for letting me go there. So you're into women's feet. So back to, let me ask you a question. Yeah. You said that Mark Marin is a marketing wizard. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Well, he is, I guess. Is he a marketing wizard? Consciously or self-consciously? Because I think he's pretty smart. I think that he's, I think that to be a good comedian and certainly a good podcaster, you have to have thought a lot about trying to, you know, self-actualize in whatever, whatever your path is to get to know what your voice is and to, you know, fight your demons, go to therapy, whether it's a 12-step program or whatever. And to dig in and figure out who you are. And I think that over a lot of years, Mark's become that. And I think that because of that, he's got a very consistent message. I hate to say the word brand, but, you know, just he's got a style and it comes through. And he, he took me to task because I said something on Allison Rosen's podcast about that. Yeah, that he was marketing himself. And I don't think it came out right. So you got into it. You got into it with them on the show. A little bit. Yeah.  And I think he was defensive about it because nobody wants to come off as, you know, what's the word? Manipulative. Yeah. Contrived. Yeah. Right. So I think that he resented that and he was right. I didn't mean it to come out that way. But I think I'm jealous of him. He's got a really big podcast. And, you know, when you talk about being competitive with people, you know, I started with him. He started a few years ahead of me in Boston. But he's, you know, when you start with somebody, you're always going to be a little bit jealous. Why is that? Dennis Miller told me this. He says, who's your guy? What do you mean? Who's the guy you started with?  I have, you know, I've told, Jake Johansson I started with and for some reason I had to get past his major success. I have to have Jake on the show. He's like a breathtaking comedian. It's a great interview too.  Yeah. Because he's like my, and my father out of nowhere used to call me up and go, have you seen this guy, Jake Johansson? Yeah, I know who Jake is. We used to have, you know, I used to go on after him every night in the open mics. This guy's fantastic. He's weaving stories. I mean, it's way beyond what you're doing. You're just telling jokes. But this guy has never seen anything like this. So I picked the wrong guy. Mark's not my guy though. Who's your guy? I would say I have jealousy of Mark only in the sense that he's got such a big podcast and the guest that he can get because of that and the crowd that he can draw. That's what I want. So I don't know if that's jealousy or emulation. Who is the guy you started with who you just kept an eye on? I think Jeff Ross. That's bizarre. Because you started at the same exact time. I think so and also because I was a member of the Friars Club. And then they didn't hoist me up and celebrate me as a young comic. And they kind of did with him. You know, obviously because he's very talented and funny and he works in that style that the Friars work in. And he was suddenly put on all the roasts, which I hadn't been. And I think there was some jealousy there that I've since gotten in touch with and I actually apologized to him about it at one point. I called him and apologized because I can't hold on to disliking somebody or being that jealous of somebody. I had to let it go. And so I called him and apologized. I'm very good friends with Jeff. Really? Yeah. And he didn't accept your apology. Are you good friends with him? Yeah, I love Jeff Ross. He's a great guy. He is. And one of the things going through a divorce, he was there for me. And I've been taught this by a lot of people, but he lives this. You cannot survive unless you crowd surf on the shoulders of others.  You mean in terms of trusting the support of friends? Yeah, you cannot. I saw it last week that I could not have gotten through last week without the love and support of everybody but my family. That you just can't. And you know, Jeff Ross has had a tragedy early on in his life. It's not for me to talk about it, but there are stories where like, it's not, no teenager should have to live through what he lived through. And the Friars Club in many ways saved his life or sanity. He just threw himself on top of the older, you know, he needed a father. He needed a mother. They had died. He was raising, you know, his own sibling and taking care of his grandfather. You know, so he threw himself onto the Friars Club and just, you know, older comics, Stewie Stone and Buddy Hack, if they all kind of... Freddie Roman, yeah. Freddie Roman, they all took care of him. And so I kind of learned from him because I got very close to him.  And as this was unraveling, I realized, he helped me realize that you just cannot survive, you know, you can't survive without other people. And I think that's a lot of his... Anyway, so it was Jeff Ross. It was Jeff Ross and I'm at the same time, I'm so happy for his success now. Like, you know, when he's got this new show, the Roast Battles is doing well. I watch every episode and it fills me with good feelings when I used to be competitive with people. I'm just not that much anymore. Like I said, like, even with Mark, it's like I am so... When he got the present, I was so proud of him and happy for him. And I used to be caught up in competitiveness way more than I am now. I think you get to a certain age and you realize we're all running our own race. And it feels so much better to celebrate up here than to be jealous of them. Do you... What do you get jealous of now?  Yeah. I think I'm jealous of people that have got a focus that they're really clear on. You know, like, take like a Joey Diaz.  He gives this like speech about how to attack the day.  And then he goes out and does sets and his voice is completely his own. He gets it. He's not trying to get anything that he doesn't want. And you know, like Joe Rogan. Let me get back to Joey Diaz for a second. Yeah. I'm ashamed to tell you something. Yeah. I don't know him and I've never seen his work. Well, you got to see him. You got to see him live. He's a force of nature. He's a beast. He just... Have you heard about him? I know that he did a podcast with Felicia Michaels. Yeah. Yeah.  And not listening to that and not knowing. So who is Joey Diaz? I know he has a podcast and how long has he been around? He's been doing it for God, probably a good 20 years. He grew up in, I think, Washington Heights and then Jersey, Cuban guy, single mom, gotten a lot of trouble growing up, did a lot of blow, involved with a lot of crime, went to jail for kidnapping in Colorado for a while, got out. He went to jail for kidnapping in Colorado. Right. Yeah. He was living there. He was, you know, restraining... You know how kidnapping is kind of a murky chart sometimes? If you refrain, if you retain, if you restrain somebody against their will, it's kidnapping, even if it's for a short period of time. Now, you got arrested for napping with a kid. I did. That's not... I was kidnapping. Kidnapping. Yeah. You weren't touching the kid, you were just napping. No. No. I learned it from Michael Jackson.   So it's just kidnapping. So Diaz is a beast. He just speaks his mind and he's got this kind of voice. And he's not the kind of guy that you would categorically think you would like, but you can't not. Your jaw just drops when you see him on stage. He's really good. You know who... I feel so guilty being this honest. This honest, not this honest. Felicia Michaels. Yeah. I never got past how beautiful she is. This is a horrible thing to say. Right. I just saw a beautiful woman and then I began reading her Facebook posts. Oh boy. She's brilliant. She's really sharp and edgy. My God. And her stand-up is great. Really smart. Yeah. And I just feel terrible even saying this, but you know, it's... Why can't you say she's beautiful? Well, because I think I had a prejudice. Oh, and thinking she wouldn't be funny. Or just not even... It's a... You know, times are changing. There's a lot of beautiful woman comics now. There's a lot of really sexy woman comics. Yeah. I mean, wasn't there this always the case, but because we didn't have third-wave feminists like my daughter who slapped us into shape? Yeah. Oh, you don't have daughters yet? I have a daughter. Yeah. She's 13. Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. And she's a feminist. Yeah. And it's... She burned her training bra. She didn't burn it, but she heated it to 350. She's almost there. Haven't you been forced by the culture to re-evaluate the way you look at women? Oh, yeah. But I needed to. I was a real frat guy. You know, I hated fraternities, but I had the mentality of a frat guy.  I slept with tons of women, like as many as I possibly could. And, you know, I think that I... I think I needed to be pulled back from that mentality a little bit. Right.  No, they never kicked or screamed, but they definitely weren't into it sometimes. You can... You know, I remember... I had a boss who was very conservative, and he said, I just don't think you can legislate human behavior. Right. And I said, yeah, you can. You can. Of course you can. You could change the way... Look at... Look at Brown... Well, Brown versus Board of Education... That was a court ruling, and the gay marriage was a court ruling. But there are certain edicts, like, no, we're the Supreme Court, and homosexuals should be allowed to get married. And people are kicking and screaming, but within, you know, in ten years from now, they will have, through fiat, dictated the way cretins, even cretins, will look at homosexuals. You can't change... You even see the polling on people that approve of gay marriage is, like, up by 40% in the last five years, and that was, yeah, a direct result of legislation.   Is it really a rape culture? Or we find our men... Not you and me, but some men finally discovering what women have to go through.  I think it's more a consciousness, a rape-consciousness culture now. Well, I think it also refers to the women side of the equation, which is that women, when they are violated, they feel guilty. Sometimes they've been made to feel, by being questioned in court about what they were wearing, how much they drank, they've been made to feel that they're partially responsible, which they never are.  Or if a woman is physically struggling while you're entering her, that's rape. And I don't think it matters what the woman was doing before that. And that's what needs to change, is men having empathy for what it really means for a woman to be overwhelmed physically or taken without her consent. Right. Do you know, Jeffrey Tubin writes for the New Yorkers on CNN all the time, wrote an interesting piece during the OJ trial about rape. And he says, the reason it's so hard for a woman, when she gets raped, is because of the civil rights movement. So many African-American men were lynched and falsely accused.    And then a lot of men, black men, were falsely imprisoned. So it became much harder mid-20th century for a woman to say she was raped. Because so many black men had been falsely accused of rape. Yeah.  No. Well I knew, I grew up with a black guy, this guy Andre, who was convicted of raping this girl in our town and spent 15 years in jail. And it's very well known that she only did that because of a boyfriend and a father finding out. And she was ashamed of it. He may have been acquitted for it later. And you know, so that dynamic is still in play. She owes him a couple of blowjobs. Yeah. I don't know what to say to that, David. That is, yeah.  But I also think we're finally really discussing it. We're finally really discussing rape. Yeah. And somebody said to me, well, Obama's been president for nearly eight years. Are black lives, have they done better under Obama? And I go, oh yeah, much better because we're having a conversation now that is like the fourth civil rights movement. Yes. Yeah. Like when you had those black murders down there in North Carolina, the Baptist church. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, his speech following that was as powerful as a Martin Luther King speech. Yeah. When he sang Amazing Grace. Yeah. But you know, he didn't, he kept it white when he sang Amazing Grace. He did. You really? Oh, I think so. I think he was a white man in a, in a, this is a terrible thing to say, but I just, I felt he could have done a lot better. You mean he could have put more soul into it? I definitely think he was holding back. Yes. He could have scat a little bit. No, I mean, that's one of the great moments of his presidency, but he kind of stayed presidential, if you know what I mean. Well, I think because he understands if he's going to deliver this message, he does have to stay accessible to all people. But at the same time, if you look at his words and his emotions were so grounded in a guy that was telling you matter of fact, you know, how things need to be. I think it had an appeal that might have been lost if he had gone too deeply into expressing himself as an African-American man as opposed to a man. You know, if Hillary gets elected, Obama will go down, I think, as the greatest president since Roosevelt. And in many ways, well, Roosevelt, you know, the times made Roosevelt so, but Obama is pretty amazing. And I think he's ushered in this progressive wave that we haven't seen the end of. Anthony Weiner texting, Huma, Huma, his wife finally filed or said she's separating him, separating from him. Did you see the documentary, Weiner? No, I heard it was amazing. It's amazing. I saw him, you know, I was doing these specials for Hulu with the Trompy and Selcomic dogs. So we were at the DNC and Weiner was there and he was wearing a, like a loud blue jacket, checked gray pants, like a flower in his lapel. He looked like a, you know, like a clown, just screaming for attention. And brilliant guy, kind of brilliant, you know, I don't think he's even a lawyer. I think he's just a good speaker. And he was an amazing politician. He really represented the poor in a way that was really, you know, he would have worked really well with the Blasio. But he also has a really sculpted ab and a decent sized pecker. And I think it is hard to not, if I had that, it would be a struggle to not put that on the internet. What is it about texting? I've never done it.  I've never received a picture of tits. I've seen other people's and it turned me on, like a friend of mine to Tinder and girls were sending a picture. Like pretty soon, like third date, sending pictures. And I get it.   Not just for politicians, just anybody in general. I guess the key is not putting your face in it. But he always does. He does the full body. I don't know why, but I have my Social Security tattoo to my cock. My Social Security number is tattooed to my cock. I don't know why I did that. Just the first 3 numbers? I wish. I wish I was young enough that Social Security, my Social Security number was issued that was more than 2 numbers. So old I am just desperately trying to make a joke here. Just because I cannot stand the fact that you came up with something incredibly funny. Well, just, you know, that's that competitiveness. I'm your new Jake Johansson. The earthquake in Italy, four against. To me it feels like Italians are, they move too much when they talk. I think this might just counteract it a little bit. When I was in Italy, I was in Italy this summer and I saw a guy walking down the street. And he was on a cell phone and they get so animated. He gets so animated that he puts his briefcase down so he can pinch his fingers together and wave it up and down as he's talking. Where were you in Italy?  I always think of Italy. Yeah, it really is. It really puts you in a certain mindset. We were in Rome and it's just the kind of place where if you're in the right neighborhood, you can just pop into any restaurant and it's going to be, you know, pasta was made there that day with tomatoes that were picked off a tree the day before.  They sling it out and they don't, they don't hand you a check to ask for it. You can just lounge for two hours. It's just, it's just got a great vibe. And then you go out into the country. We went down the Amalfi Coast and we rented this house up in the hills. And it just had a pool and it was Mesopotamian slaves that came with it, which was a nice touch. That's great. You really feel like you're in ancient Rome? Hmm. Do you feel... Can I tell you about the statues? Yeah. It's almost pornographic how good the naked statues are when you're in Rome. They're marble and the penises are extraordinary. I don't know how they chisel it. The shaft is like glass. It's so clear. It's almost like a little blue vein in it and the crown is very defined and there's a little slit.  And you start to think when the sculptor is working on the dick for more than a couple days, people start to talk. You know, I came to Michelangelo.  Maybe we're going on for a little while. Do you feel guilty in renting a house on the Amalfi Coast because you got the small kids and you feel they should be going to the museums instead? No, because we did both. We did one week in Rome doing all that stuff and then we did a week in the country just going to the beach and walking around and chilling out. That's the way to do it. Yeah. And we smoked Italian cigars and I had my kids and my niece and nephew all smoking cigars and we gave them a little bit of limoncella, which is this lemon alcohol they have up in the hills there. But you don't drink, right? All bets were off. You don't drink. We gave him just a little bit. But you don't. I don't drink. No. I don't drink either, but when I was in Rome and Umbria, I missed. That's when I wanted to go at it. Yeah. Which is bizarre because you know, you would think, the thing I had a wrestle with was, okay, I'm in Umbria now. I'm surrounded by beauty. It's calm. No internet. Why do you want to drink? Well, everybody's drinking. Okay, but what's that going to do for you? Oh, it would make me feel good. What? You don't feel good now? Yeah, but I feel really good if I could have some of this. Yeah. It's tough, right? See your kids chilling, kicking. Yeah, when everybody else is drinking. That's really when, this is like my friend George McDonald said, he's been sober for many years. And the one time he broke out was, it was like his first TV spot on, you know, one of those like A&E comedy something shows. And he felt really great. And that's when he had a drink. He said, you don't, it's more often that's when you break than when you're down and out and struggling and everything's horrible. That's like the cliche. But the truth is it's when you're, when you're feeling the best, you just want it to feel just a little bit better. Right. It's hard to explain to people. How long have you been sober? 26 years. Okay. I've been sober since 88. I can't do the math. What is that? That's 28 years. So I'm two years ahead of you. And if I was ever going to have a drink. Oh, no, that's not right. 28 years. Yeah, I got it right. Yeah. I've been sober for 20, 28 years. Yeah. And if I ever was going to have a drink, it was going to be last week and the past two years. Yeah. And I just, it was so out of the question. It was just not going to happen. I was just not going to have a drink because I knew that it was just going to make things worse. Yeah.  And I say, you know, I wasn't put on this earth to be happy. I was put on this earth to do things, to work. And happiness is just not really, like I'm happy now talking to you. Like this to me, I love, this is pure joy. But the kind of joy that I used to have drinking and taking pills and smoking pot, you don't come close. But that's just not going to happen. Right. And that's not why we're put on the planet. We're put on this planet for a limited amount of time. And happiness is an accidental byproduct of doing hard things. Yes. Right? Yeah. I think it's funny that we strive so much for happiness because most countries don't, you know, they probably experience more happiness, but it's not held out as this cultural. Wow.  The pursuit of happiness. Right. Right. The pursuit of happiness. You know, you don't pursue happiness. You pursue work. You pursue meaning. You pursue family. And then happiness comes. There was this great documentary, I think it was called happiness. And they were examining people from different cultures and how they experience happiness.  And the guy honestly said, I'm a really happy guy. I'm happy all the time. I come home. My son's waiting for me. We spend time together. We all live in one room and it sounds corny and that's an extreme. But you know, I just think that when I've had times in my life where I had less money and did less things, I very often am like happier because I'm just with my family, not traveling as much, not going out to dinner as much.  You know, when I was living in Los Angeles, I briefly befriended Shadow Stevens, who because of my own ignorance, I had no idea how brilliant Shadow Stevens is. Is he a weatherman? Shadow Stevens is the announcer on The Late Late Show. He was on Hollywood Squares. He was a, he is, you know, like a Casey Kasem. He was very big in the 80s and the 90s and you would recognize his voice. Anyway, he's also like teaches transcendental meditation and is just so deep and blew me away how brilliant he is. Because when you, when you think of Shadow Stevens, you just think of this goofball with long hair and a surfer guy with a great voice who did, you know, Hollywood Squares and announcing and stuff like that. So it turns out he's also a Jeff Lin fan from ELO. He's obsessed with the ELO as am I. Yeah. And what he did, he showed me the Thief of Baghdad, the silent movie, the Thief of Baghdad. He added music to the Thief of Baghdad. It's a silent film and it's all made to, it's all done with ELO music.  This is, this is brilliant. Yeah. If you like ELO. And the beginning of the Thief of Baghdad is written in the sky. It's a silent movie, Thief of Baghdad. Happiness must be earned. Happiness must be earned. Just watch the first five minutes of the Thief of Baghdad on Turner Classic Movies. And in the sky is written, happiness must be earned. Well, I can't think of a better way to close out the podcast. Colin Kaepernick, do you, do you stand for the National Anthem? I don't believe you should have to stand for the National Anthem or the Pledge of Allegiance or any of that other nationalistic bullshit. If you want to, if you want to take a little break, take a break. You know, it's, there's a lot of stuff you can make statements about in this country and that's a pretty innocuous way to do it. I don't stand for the Star Spangled Banner because it gives me massive wood. And it's embarrassing. You just start thinking about Jose, you know, right out of the gate. Jose, can you see? Hey, Greg Fitzsimmons, Fitzdog Radio, you're on the Stern Channel. You tour nationwide. What is the name of your book? It's called Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons Tales of Redemption from an Irish Mailbox. And can I give you some tour dates that I got coming up? Yes, by all means. I don't know the dates themselves because we're on FaceTime and I don't think I can access anything else. But this weekend, September 1st through 4th, I'll be at the Fort Lauderdale Improv. Wow. Then next week I will be at Hilarities in Cleveland. Wow. And then two weeks after that I will be at... Shit. Well, go to Fitzdog.com for all tour dates and details. Oh, I'm going to be in Calgary at Yuck Yuck, two weeks after that. Will you see Mark Breslin? Do you hang out with Mark Breslin? No, is he the guy? Yeah. Okay. I'll tell him you say hello. Well, I don't think he'll be in Calgary, though. And Fitzdog Radio, your podcast...  Whenever I do your show, it's like I've done Conan. The number of people who walk up to me after doing your show and say, I heard you on Fitzdog, it's stunning. That's great to hear. I love that. I swear to God, it blindsided me the first time. I went, wow. I mean... Well, it's not... I don't think that happens to every guest. I think you and I have a great chemistry, and you always make my show go to a whole other level. I find myself engaged. I feel funnier when you're on, so it's a testament to you as a guest.  You know what happened here today? What? I think we reversed roles. I think what happened was you were hysterical. You were like me on your show. Freed up, yeah, because you don't have to run it. I love... I'd much rather be a guest on someone's podcast than do my own podcast. Yeah.  I remember there were a couple of moments where you really threw me, you know, funny, like, wow. That was... Anyway, more often, I love you. I mean that. I love you and... I love you, too. And worship your wife. That's my message. Worship her. I will worship her. I'm going to buy...  I'm buying your wife flowers, but that's a whole other story. Send them over. That's a whole other story. See, you're getting competitive again with me. Send Jake Johansson's wife some flowers. All right, Greg Fitzsimmons, thank you so much, sir. All right, thanks, David. Bye.