The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you.  Welcome to the broadcast. I'm David Feldman, DavidFeldmanshow.com. Please follow me on Twitter and friend me on Facebook. And if you want to support this show, the best way is to go to davidfeldmanshow.com. You'll see the Amazon banner and click on it, then do all your Amazon shopping via the David Feldman show website, and we get a small percentage, and it keeps the lights on here, which is very important. Right now they're flickering, so that's very important. Yes. Well, we're coming to the end of 2015, and we have two very special guests. I'm very excited about one. Thank you. And that's not... That's a very rude thing to say about Samantha, but I appreciate hearing that. I'm going to leave. Samantha Ruddy is going to be at the Creek in the Cave January 5th at 10 p.m. Mark Norman will be headlining, and you are a very, very funny young comedian. Oh, thank you. You really are. I appreciate that. We've worked together a couple of times. You have great jokes, great stage presence, and how long have you been doing it? Three years in February. Well, you are fantastic. You really are. You're fantastic.  She's your guest. Speaking of comedians who are fans, comedians who are fantastic, Liam McEnany, you know a couple, don't you? Yeah, I do. They're going to be on the show with me on January 10th. Liam, how many comedy albums have you put out? You know what? I have been on... I did a comedy concert film, so I'm on that soundtrack album, and then I put out a solo album two years ago called Comedian. So this is going to be my second proper album. And you are taping a new album at the Bell House. That is in Brooklyn. That's in Brooklyn. January 10th, Colin Jost and Dave Hill will be there opening for you. That's correct. So if you want to see Colin Jost from Saturday Night Live... It's so sad because I have a lot of friends who've been like, well, yeah, I'll try to make it out. And then I say, oh, and Colin Jost will be on the back, oh man, Colin Jost, I'll be there.  And Dave Hill.  It starts off. I just want your money, folks. Come pay, see the guys you want to see and get out.  You really are a great comedy. I know. You really are. I know I'm a great comedy. We're going to look back at 2015. Samantha, three years. Where did you first do comedy? So I started in Syracuse, New York. And I was in college and then I did an internship in Denver and I got like kind of serious about it there. Like I stopped just doing like a mic once every few weeks. I'm sorry. Go ahead.  I was going to say Denver is supposed to be a really good comedy town. Like the Groliks are from there. Yeah, it's phenomenal. Honestly, I probably would have moved there if New York City wasn't just so much closer to where I grew up. Right. And what kind of internship were you doing? I was actually in tech. So I was doing a web development internship and then kind of moonlighting doing comedy. And go ahead. No, no, please. It's your show. Go ahead. So what kind of comedy scene do Syracuse have? It's like, it's very tiny. It's a small city. It's got 150,000 people. There's not a huge indie scene there. The upstate New York scene is sort of a conglomerate of a bunch of cities. Like it's kind of Buffalo, Albany, Syracuse and Rochester all together. Barry Crimmons, Bobcat Goldfway, Tom Kenny, Paul Kozlowski, Dan Spencer, a lot of great comics have come from that area. Yeah, I actually just watched God Bless America, Bobcat's movie and was like shocked when I realized that it was... I thought everything looked familiar and then I realized I was literally a block from like where they were filming things. Yeah. And Call Me Lucky, the new documentary about Barry Crimmons is worth looking at directed by Bobcat Goldfway. We're looking back at 2015. All right. How was your year, Samantha? Was it a year of growth as a comedian? I think so, yeah. I think it really was a time where I sort of... It was my first full year in New York. So I kind of got more stage time than I ever have. And I think when you're doing like double digit sets a week, it's pretty impossible to not grow. Yeah. Are you getting laid more now? No. Really? Yeah, like a little. A little bit. A little bit. What would you say like a percentage of getting laid more if you had to put like a number on it? Wow. Honestly, like 10 out of 10, I don't know. 10 out of 10. That's pretty good. 10 out of 10. I'm laughing, but is that an appropriate question? Do you know Liam? No. I don't know. I'm just curious. I'm just curious.  So you think I'm like only sleeping with strange people though? Well, yeah, of course. Well, yeah. We're all strange people. But... We do. But now you... I'm curious, Liam McEnany. Right. Because I'm old school. Right. You don't really know Samantha, do you? Very old school. Yes. In fact, someone say elderly school. Plato's Symposium is how old my school is. Because when I think of a true gentleman, the name that springs to mind is Mr. David Feldman. Okay. But not knowing somebody and then asking them, are you getting late? I feel like this is a better... This is a very appropriate venue because like you wouldn't, I wouldn't ask her that in a normal conversation. But like inquiring minds want to know, I get it. But I feel like that's a very interesting, I think that that aspect of being a comedian is something people are more interested in than like, you know... Are you getting late? Are you getting late? Are you getting late, Liam? Are you getting late? No, of course not. When's the last time you got late, Liam? Last time I got fully laid was a year ago. Me and my ex-girlfriend. What is fully laid mean? Penis inside vagina. No, it's this appropriate conversation for our year in review. By the way. Yeah, right. Your year in review. That was not one of the questions. That was not... Okay. Okay, so... It's been a year of growth for me because I gained about 50 pounds. All right, this is not for... We're looking back at 2015. This is not a question for Samantha Ruddy. Are you really shocked by that question? What is your Twitter handle? It's Sam Lee Matters. S-A-M-L-Y Matters. And if people don't live in New York City but want to become familiar with your brilliant joke writing. Because I... You really... I love comedians and comedians who can write jokes. That's just... I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff. And I was watching you at the Brit pack and I went, wow. So if people want to see a sample of your work but they don't live in New York, what do they do? If you just pop my name into YouTube, I have a few videos up there. Good. Okay. And it's R-U-D-D-Y. Yes. Any relation to Ruddy, the president of the broadcast network and the movie network? You know what? I get that a lot. And no. You don't get that. I don't get that a lot. All right. So, Liam. Yes. Best sexual episode of the year 2015. Well, I did get to watch... Do you feel like that's an appropriate question? I'm going to ask you a question. What was the best sex you had this year? Well, I just said I really haven't gotten too laid this year. This has been a transitional year for me in terms of... Did you make it? Was it a rebuilding year? Did you make out with anybody? Yeah, I made out with a couple of women and it was all right. That's what usually happens to me. What's that?  The Bronx? Or wherever. Jesus, where are you performing? The Bronx. So, I had a woman once, I met her at a bar and she told me she lived up in the South Bronx and I took the train all the way up there and then it turned out, I walked her to her apartment and it turned out she hadn't wanted me to go to the Bronx and she thought that I was going to not follow her home and she was actually very upset. So, I totally misread those signals. So, don't go to the Bronx. Don't not go to the Bronx. Oh, sorry. Do you know that the Bronx, you know how it got its name? No. Do you know? The Yankees, I don't know. There was an actual family called the Bronx. No way. They were Dutch. I feel like that was not an appropriate question to ask us, David, for the year and review episode. I know. You barely know us. That's true. There was a Dutch family called the Bronx and we're going to visit the Bronx. And they were actually, and I actually do know this story, they were the first family that sold crack in America and so they settled the Bronx and they founded this Dutch crack company that is still working to this day. Yes. My father's from the Bronx, Simpson Street. Tough Bronx is, okay. And Samantha, are you in love? Am I allowed to ask that? Well, I think that's way less appropriate than how many. Did you find love this year? I have been in love with the same person for four years. Is it requited? It is, but we're also like very open and new agey and terrible and all that stuff. So we, you know, do stuff with other people too. Do you live in the same city? Okay. And is love 100%, in other words, can one person love somebody more than the other person love somebody or is love just 100%? Once you say, I love you, then you don't have to do anything. No. Or prove it. No. Not at all. I wonder about open relationships. Well, are you in love? Am I in love? I am not in love. I really wasn't kidding when I said like this has been a year. I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about you can be in love with somebody who's not in love with you. I'm telling you, I actually just got over someone who ghosted me 10 years ago. And when he says ghosted, he killed her. Did you follow her home to the Bronx? No, it was actually the girl that I had a crush on in junior high school. And then 10 years ago, we met as adults and we dated for a month and it was great. And then she completely ghosted me, as you kids say. And it took me so long to get over her.  And I never forgot about her. Right. And then I looked around. And you can't shake it, right? You can't shake it. And I found her on Friendster. That's how long ago this was. Oh man. And you know. Does she have a crush on you? Yeah, it turned out she had a crush on me in junior high school and she would have like kissed me in junior high school if I had made the move.  All you children out there. So that you were fulfilling like a masturbatory fantasy. It wasn't like, honestly, I never jerked off to her. It was just like the kind of thing where she always had like a little home in my heart.  That sounds sweet. So a woman can have a home in your heart but not in your penis, right?  I think that's how it works for most people, David.  But most guys can fit a woman in there. What would you be more interested in?  Well, actually now I'm looking more for a relationship. I got laid a lot as a young comedian myself in my 20s. And I feel like that's probably why I asked you that question because I am living vicariously through younger people now.  Yep, we're still doing that. I just want to know that it still happens for somebody. But no, I mean, honestly, right now I'm looking to settle more. I mean, settle both, settle down and settle for the best I can get. Right. So in every sense of it. Settle in every sense of the word. Can we talk about love with you? Oh, sure, yeah. So are women, do you find women are difficult and getting more difficult in relationships? I mean, I don't have a whole lot of experience I'm 23 years old. You're 20. That's right. You are 23. Yeah, I'm a baby.  No, I didn't know until I was 18. And in retrospect, I'm like, oh, it makes no much sense.   I just had someone just said it to me. And then it just clicked.  Honestly, I got comedian.  And I was just like, no, it's just whiskey sometimes makes me do that. And Liam never had to tell his parents he was a comedian because he really technically isn't one.  Your parents were accepting of all that stuff? Yeah. I mean, they're both pretty conservative people, but they were like just, you know, they just got it. My dad just knew. When I was in ninth grade, I guess I broke up with the quarterback and he was like, yeah, that's what I knew. Yeah, because no normal girl would ever. You dated the junior high school quarterback? Well, it was the high school because we were in ninth grade. You were the freshman. Was he varsity? No, he was JV because we were kiddos. Yeah, but yeah, I dated him and we went to like a semi or something together and I just got bored. Like I was just like, I'd rather hang out with my friends. Now, David, you have daughters. Hang on for one second. So she dated the quarterback. Oh, well, David, you know, David as a Jew is very interested in football. David, we need a quarterback. He's always looking to get the quarterback. Thank you. That's the second time you've done that joke on the show. That's the second time you've had to force me. No, but you have daughters. One of them said like, you know, I prefer munching rug. Would you be upset? Jesus. I would be if that's how she chose to break the news to me.  I think father, actually I would be grateful if one of my daughters was a lesbian. That way my wife would have to put up with the mommy issues. I'm not upset of the daddy issues that I have to deal with. Are there mommy and daddy? I mean, do you have? I'm kind of curious because I may or may not have a couple of daughters who may or may not be estranged or not, whatever. But I don't want to delve into my private life that has completely fallen apart in 2015. But let's just, for the purposes of this show, I may or may not have. Do, when you're dealing with women and you're a, do you have to deal with their daddy issues or their mommy issues in a relationship?   Is that a rude question? No. No, no, no. I don't think it's a dumb or a rude question. And you talk about this stuff a little bit on stage. A little bit, yeah. Am I making you uncomfortable? No, no, no. Okay, then let's move on. You're always uncomfortable.  Just doesn't have to be... No, I'm not uncomfortable at all. Well, if it's not making you uncomfortable, then let's move on. No, let's go. No, but I'm kind of curious. You asked me, would you... I have a great mom who I love and is super sweet to me and stuff, but judging by who I'm attracted to and who I date, I probably have mommy issues. And it might be because my mom's so great. And we're Italians. She's very, she still tries to run my life. Oh, you're Italian. Oh, yeah. Awful.  I know. I was like, I came out to my parents as Italian when I was 18 and they were like, yeah, we know. Forget about it. We saw you bring home the spaghetti and meatballs. We have an idea. Yeah, we've known ever since you ate spaghetti. Well, I would say, and this is just a sweeping... Mom, I like to munch for a catoni. Oh, God. Wow, that was so bad. I should have said that. Well, then why isn't Samantha laughing? All right, I'm out, bye guys. I should have said that. That's pretty good. I don't think anyone's going to turn that into a cartoon. So I would say most women have problems with their fathers and they project those problems onto their husband or boyfriend and that they keep reliving the same problems with their father with a series of relationships with men. You just opened up a floodgate for me. Welcome to the 2015 in Reviews.  That is just conjecture. That is me pushing away the female.  You keep reliving the same mistakes until you stop and then you've learned it and then you're no longer of this. I'm getting a note to shut up. Okay.  It's true. I do keep saying yes to being on the David Pelvin show. Okay. I opened up a floodgate. I'm going to stop talking. Well then this is going to be a horrible podcast. Does that happen in your relationships? Like the more I'm thinking about it, the more like I'm thinking about how, like my mom's always been super overbearing and nurturing and like I was so dependent on her as a kid and as a teenager.  But now I'm like, oh, maybe I feel like that because my mom never let me do anything. Right.   How old's your current girlfriend? 30. Okay. Pretty hot. You know, it's funny when I was around your age, my mother, I was not dating anyone because I was not dating.  Oh good for her.  I'm just not attractive to women. It's not my choice.   All right. Samantha Ruddy, what was the best comedy set you saw in 2015? That I saw. David Feldman. Well, David Feldman at Brit Pack was, it just really blew me away. All right, good answer. No. What was the best cut? What was the best set you saw? Ollie, I think watching Barry Crimmins at the Creek in the Cave. Well, that's the most recent set you've seen. Is that also like the best or is that just the one I can remember? This year was watching Barry Crimmins. I would say was the best I've seen. I didn't see a lot of stand up, but that's the best I've seen. You haven't seen me do stand up this year? Is that what you're calling it? No, it's actually stand down comedy because it takes an army to stop me. What have you seen this year that blew you away? It's hard, right? Yeah, it's hard when you're on the spot. I think I think this is, I've always been a really big fan of joke writers. Like there are like people who, and I'm not meaning to say that comedians who are better, who are like excellent performers are joke writers, but I've always been more appreciative of like the Mark Norman, say a moral style of comedy where they could be literally standing still and it wouldn't matter at all. But this year I saw Sean Patton for the first time and I don't know if you guys know, I think I saw him at, yeah, I saw him at like Bar Matchless and he was just a monster. Like he just went nuts on stage and the energy was so high and like it was just amazing. Like it was just the coolest thing. It was like such a cool like New York kind of moment. I was on my way to San Francisco and I put on Facebook, hey, who's in San Francisco? And my buddy Tony Kameen responded, I am opening for Patton Oswald, who's recording his special at the Fillmore and you're welcome to be my guest. And so I went to see Patton, tape his next special at the Fillmore and it's like the best hour I've ever seen Patton Oswald do live anyway. And it was amazing. It was like really like, it was just one of those things where you walk out of the theater and you're like, alright, I'm gonna keep working. I gotta keep working on this set. Right. You know. And then I would say second best is I was looking at my old YouTube videos and I saw one of me performing in Glasgow. It's pretty good. You guys should check it out. Okay. Just go to HeyIt'sLiam.com. You'll find all my videos. The best podcast of the year that I heard was and it wasn't taped this year though. I thought Marin's interview with Lauren Michaels was pretty phenomenal. But my favorite podcast was Mark Marin talking to Louis CK. Have you heard that? Yeah, it was amazing. That was amazing. That must have been a couple years ago, right? I don't know. Yeah, that was a few years ago. Yeah, I think it was like, but not a long time. Like I want to say that was like early 2014 or something. Yeah. But I'll mention also Gilbert with Chevy Chase this year blew me away because I had no idea how brilliant Chevy Chase was. I liked Gilbert with Chevy Chase in terms of the Gilbert Gottfried podcast. I actually preferred this interview he did with a completely unknown guy who just writes books about old showbiz. Oh, Cliff Nesteroff. Not Cliff Nesteroff. Another guy. Again, I don't even know his name, but like do you know home talking about Alex? Like he's a dude who like just was friends with these crazy zealust Hollywood old Hollywood comedy celebrities like Shemp, I think.   That's the kind of stories this guy had about these weird like Hollywood fringe characters who just kind of were a little bit famous. You don't know? Okay. But I feel like if you're going to listen to Gilbert podcast, I feel like I actually prefer the ones with the more obscure people because he really, I mean, that's also like, I also just love, I will listen, but like this guy, this guy's talking about this munchkin he knew and he's like, well, you know, these little people really have these, don't generally have long, happy lives and Gilbert goes, Yeah. Have you heard Gilbert's podcast? I have not. Gilbert Gottfried's podcast. There are two things that I have to listen to. It's Gilbert's podcast and Rachel Maddow's television show which I listen to as a podcast. I just don't feel any, for me it's effortless to listen to, both of those. Pure joy. The interview that he did with Chevy Chase was phenomenal and the interview that Mark Marin did with Louis CK, which I guess is two or three years old, we were driving back from Boston listening to that and it was just one of those things where you go, oh, I see why podcasts are so popular. Yeah, he literally got to listen to a friendship or Kindle. It was amazing. Yeah. And in fact, what Marin's done now is he's put basically all the old WTFs on YouTube because people were just uploading it anyway. So if you're looking for all these old WTFs like the Louis one or the Robin Williams one, which is I think him at his best personally or the Menceo ones, they're all on YouTube now. You can listen to the one I was on if you really, I prefer people don't, but it's out there now. That's how I found out was because suddenly my Google alert pinged and there I was on YouTube. Best Subway Star. I'm gonna tell you my best Subway story. I met Jared. No.   By the way, I think I wrote the best Jared. Samantha wasn't comfortable with that joke. I wrote the best Jared joke. I was totally fine with it. Let your Jared book. Now everybody has written a joke about Jared Fogle, right? I don't know if I tweet or something. I can't remember if I do. That's for lesser comics, but go ahead. And I was doing John Fugelsang's show. John Fugelsang's show. Oh, from They Might Be Giants? No. No, that's John. That's the other John. No, no, he's talking about John Fugelsang, the comedian.  He has a show on series XM with Frank Connoff. And this just came to me. Worst name drop ever. Total name drop, Phil, David. I'm so sorry. They were joking about Jared and this just came to me. You know my good friend, John Fugelsang? It was a bolt on his show. You know how like, she's not a cross-country trucker. She doesn't listen to series XM, David. Yeah, I could be a cross-country trucker. This is a bolt of lightning from Zeus, this joke. It just came to me. I can't wait. In the middle of the show. It's the, that after, that Jared, the subway guy, is a horrible human being because not only did he molest these kids, but afterwards he would charge them a dollar for the avocado. Oh. My mother loves that joke. I would have gone 50 cents for double meat, but that's meat. He charged them an extra dollar for the avocado. I stand by that joke. And you know when I do that on stage, Alex, can you hear me? You should stand behind that joke so no one can hear you say it. Oh, Alex is waking up. When I do that joke on stage, it doesn't get a big laugh. Right. But there's usually one person who just loses it. And you know, if you can make just one person in an audience laugh, you are a failure as a comic. You should get out of the business. Best subway story. Do you write the subways? I read it. Okay. I have a subway story. Should I go first or do you want to go first? You can go first. What's the most disgusting thing? Wasn't disgusting, but something just shocking that I saw on the subway. I was waiting at Barclays for a train. And when it pulled up, the conductor was out cold. She was just dead asleep. I guess I still got on it because I was that late to work. Oh, dude, when I was a kid in old New York, I was taking the one train to Lincoln Center. And I was in the last course and I was in the last course. I was in the last course. And I was in the last car where that was where the conductor was. And his door was open, but it was situated so you couldn't see because it was open.  And so they were giggling and you could hear the noise. And I was young enough. I didn't understand. It was fucking. I just knew that they were fooling around. Every time they pulled into a station, he had to pause and announce the station. You could hear her giggling over the loudspeaker. Wow. And sometimes like I think one time she made the announcement and that was that.  When I when I first saw Colin Quinn, this was before he was famous. He used to do a bit about how New Yorkers on the subway, we got he's just faking it. He doesn't need money. He doesn't need money to be a guy with gets the point where it's a guy with no arms and legs.  He's faking it. He doesn't need any money. Do you know this bit? Right? Yeah. It was one of Colin Quinn's first bit. So I've seen this. I apologize because it's I don't mean to laugh at somebody's misfortune. But when you get on the subway, there's always somebody says, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry for this interruption, but I am a homeless World War One veteran who is like just for 25 cents. Everybody looks the other way. I'm going to go because World War One. So I always think of Colin's bit. Three times I've seen this lady. She God's going to punish me. She's got a grapefruit size tumor growing out of her head. What part of her head? The right side of her head. And I've three times on the shuttle that goes from Times Square to Grand Central Station. And everybody's looking down, trying to ignore. It's not funny. Well, you're not supposed to. The problem is you're not supposed to stare because she's got a thing. Have you seen this woman? No, but I've seen people like that on the streets. You're not supposed to stare because like it's rude to stare at someone with an affliction. You're getting like mixed social messages. But at the same time, she's demanding your attention. And I feel like a buck would be so much money to be able to just openly stare at her. She walked out of the subway.  That's like a bargain. Any subway? Union Square, 14th Street subway. I was transferring. And the Demarest High School marching band was playing downstairs in the subway, echoing off the tile. And I started, they were playing John Philip's Susan music during rush hour. And we all started marching. And you realize it was such a, it was performance art because we all were marching. Purposely or? Yeah, they made, and they were telling us that we're just soldiers of commerce. It was absolutely brilliant to have a marching band. And I started, you know, marching to get the, what am I getting? The seven? Did you realize that you were, like was it subconscious? Yeah, everybody started marching. But like subconsciously? No, we all recognized that we were being told that we were... To do it. That you were corporate comics. Yeah. Did it hurt?  When you found out that you're just a peg in the system.   Uh-oh. Somebody just read a book. Did they slam down a mic at the end of that? Just ISIS recruiting video. Oh, Jesus Christ. I would have to say that that would have to be Sex in the City too. You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. That's perfect. Yeah, yeah, I think that's a... That is absolutely Sex in the City too. The one where they go to Abu Dhabi. Oh, shall we now? I would say Donald Trump's latest speech. No. Best concert of 2015? I went to see Sleeter Kenny and it was awesome.   Oh, it was delightful. Who's Sleeter Kenny? You know, Carrie Brownstein from Portlandia. Yeah. It's her band. Ah. They're a very seminal feminist quasi-lesbian rock band that's been around for 30 years. They're the best. And it's a lesbian band. No. Well, they're queer. They just happen to be lesbians. Well, you said seminal. But I don't think any of them are actually lesbians. I mean, they're covered in semen by the time... Seminal? Oh, God. What is the best Amy Schumer's the greatest comic ever article that you read this year? Wait, you're not going to... Whatever by Salon. I don't know. Wait, what was the best concert you saw, David? Yeah, David. What was the best concert you went to? I don't know if I went to a rock concert this year.  You probably didn't. Yeah. Well, he's more than a hip hop. He does the... He has EDM. You just pop and molly all the time. Oh, Jeff Ross, the comedian, took me to a private party that he did. Max Weinberg, Southside Johnny, and Rage Against the Machine. What's his name? You talking about Tom Morello? Yes. Yes. I went... But I didn't go... I don't go to... I don't have time to go to concerts. Well, I'm going to tell you the best concert I've been to. I went to see Neil Young at the Jones Beach Amphitheater, which if you get a chance to go see a concert, I've never been out there. It's beautiful. It's like open air. It was a beautiful evening. The breeze was blowing. My friend Katherine Popper is in a band that... Who played our... That's our orchestra. That's your orchestra. She's in a band with Nora Jones called Puss in Boots, like a country music band because they're ladies. It's called Starbucks. Robbie Shankar's daughter. Robbie Shankar's daughter. So they opened for Neil. And then Neil Young did like a three-plus-hour concert. And it was too much. Like, you know what? When the main part of the show is over, I was like, I kind of hope he doesn't do an encore because he has rocked me so hard. I would be very happy to leave right now.   We did a live show at QED. We did. You're the band leader. I'm the band leader. And what is our band? The Andy Kinler calls Frank Connoff the funniest man in the world orchestra. Right. And it consists of whom? I don't play an instrument. So I'm the band leader. And then Katherine Popper who plays the bass. And that's it. And she's going... When we do... So she's the bass? Yeah. She's like a gig that's way below her pay grade. Luckily, and this is cool, luckily David couldn't even be bothered to remember her name from one minute to the next. Well, that was our first live show. There were a lot of distractions. I can barely remember my first name. It was kind of off-putting at the very end when you still didn't know her name. I'm bad with names and faces. Biggest regrets of 2015. We're here. Uh-oh. We're doing it. I actually, just as you mentioned, bad with names and faces. I accidentally... I guess I don't really regret it and ruin my life or anything. It was kind of embarrassing. I was barking to... Explain to the people what barking is because they don't know. So barking is this soul-crushing activity where you stand outside of a comedy club and yell free comedy show or tickets to a comedy show. You got comics from Broadway, comics room. Who were you barking for? I was barking for Greenwich. And it was good experience. Overall, they paid me well. It was cool. But I accidentally... I was just an autopilot and I tried to sell tickets to Greenwich Comedy Club to David Tell. I was just like... I don't know. He was wearing a weird hat and I just didn't click for a minute. And he was like, You know what? I think I'm alright.  You're David Tell. And he was like, Yeah, I'm David Tell. At least he was nice about it. He was so unnecessarily nice. Yeah.  The comedy barkers are the people I respect the most. Right. Because you're working hard and you're bringing an audience. And David aspires to someday be a comedy marker. All right.  So I want to explain, David asked me to bust his balls that way before the show started. Yes, I did. So go ahead. Bust, bust away. I just did. I just did. I feel like I sound unnecessarily mean.  I don't think you do. From you. I don't think you like it. Biggest regrets of 2015? We're here. You know what? Actually, 2015 has been the opposite of that. I had a very bad end of 2014 and I kind of just decided this was going to be a better year and it has so far. I really honestly can't think of any mistakes I've made. It's been a very good year for me. My biggest regret of 2015 is I do a joke that Moody gave me. He fixed a joke of mine. I have no sense of humor about 9-11 because my first wife was in the South Tower that day and she survived. And I go, oh, you made it home. That's fantastic. That's right. So I've been doing that all year and a woman walked up to me after the show and she said, I have a bone to pick. Uh-oh. Give me 15 minutes, sweetheart. I have to take a blue pill for that. And she goes, I am a survivor of 9-11. Right. And my biggest regret was just saying, I'm so sorry instead of saying, I'm so sorry, you survived. When I looked at her, I apologized for my joke, which you should never do. Right. And I said, I'm so sorry. And then I was about to say that you survived. But I didn't have the balls to do it. That's probably good you didn't do it. But the way David said it was, me so sorry. Oh, did I hurt your feelings? By the way, what was the celebrations when the towers came down? Were there? Weren't there? Well, I mean, I think Cheney was celebrating, right? We're all on a list now, Liam. Trump was celebrating. I mean, he's in the construction business. He's got to say, wow, I can, there's a lot of work coming my way. You know who was celebrating that dude Silverstein, who owned the property that the trade center was on? Because he got so much insurance, he got like a billion dollars in insurance money. He probably got way more than he got for rent. Were you here for 9-11? Was I here? I was on one of the, no. That's what I wish I had said. My brother died on 9-11. Muhammad Atta, do you know? Do you know?  All those other guys, before he went to bed, I was like, do not forget to bring your parachutes tomorrow. Were you here for 9-11? Yeah, I was living in Queensville. I used to have my alarm set to classic rock radio to wake up to, because I was so annoying. I would just wake up, get up and turn it off.  And it was Stairway to Heaven, which is a very long song. So I'm like sitting there waiting for Stairway to end so I can eventually I turned it over to the Stern Show where they were talking about what was going on. And then I called my mom just to double check that I wasn't fucking... But you did listen to Stairway to Heaven. I listened to it for about two and a half minutes before I realized that I was not getting the information I wanted. They're like, hold on. And this guitar solo, I know they're going to give us some info. It would have been great if the DJ like talked over... or talked over the guitar solo. Well, I mean, Stairway to Heaven, okay. Yeah. But it was the only song that I, you know, like maybe just continue to give us the news and not go... Not play Stairway to Heaven. You were a baby, right? I was close to. I was in fourth grade. And did they have class that day? They... I think we evacuated after a while but for a little bit, we just sat like in our classroom and watched the TV. Right. And then they were taken up to the roof to celebrate. I went to Catholic school, buddy. There was none of that malarkey going on. It was pure, pure sadness and shame, like every other day at Catholic school. Who's the coolest person you met this year, Samantha? The coolest person, I know. I want to say Alex Brazell because that would be hilarious. But I think we all know that's not true. He's our producer. He's the producer. And we're doing... Oh, he doesn't have his phones on. That's how... He's distracted. That's how on top of this he is right now. He doesn't even have his cans on right now. Alex had a great year. Alex had a great... We're making fun of Alex. Alex, are you paying attention? Yeah. Hi. Okay. When you say who's the coolest person you met, like... Like in what sense? Like in the most famous person... It was the most famous person you met this year. Hmm. Who's the most famous person I met this year? Well, the thing is I'm kind of famous myself. So I feel like Samantha should say me. Yeah. Yeah. It was Liam, actually. Oh. Hmm. I'm trying to think who the most famous person I met this year is... I don't know. I think I... Probably the most famous person I met was... I think I... I looked like walked by Chris Rock. So I... Actually, that doesn't count. Did you bark him in? I tried. She told Chris Rock if he brought 10 people he could do 5 minutes. Yeah, I was like... Who's the most famous person you've met in your life? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.  The most famous person I've met in my entire life. That is... a very good question. Uh... I don't know. You know, what the coolest person I met? This is one I can remember most recently was I never really met Todd Glass before. Hmm. And I just met him and this is a... This was like a fun evening. You know, Jim Gaffkin just did Madison Square Garden. Yeah. And I guess Todd opened for him.  And so what happened was we were talking about he knows who the next Colonel Sanders, like the next person who's going to be Colonel Sanders, but he wouldn't tell me. He was sworn to secrecy, like after Norm MacDonald and we were talking and you know, I think it's okay if I said, but we were like, he was like, do you think Sarah Silverman would take that gig? And I was like, she would take it in a heartbeat. That's awesome money. So it'd be pretty funny. I bet that I bet it's Sarah. It would be great. No, so he texted her and said, like, would you take would you take this gig if they offered to you? And she's like, yeah, of course, you know, like it would be a couple of conditions. But yeah, so so like that that was that was a very, very cool like evening as someone like me who like even like do meet famous people.  And that was that was that was a very like I am still in comedy moment.  I wasn't starstruck by Todd Glass. I was able to talk to him. Well, yeah. But yeah, no, I don't I know what you mean. Like, yeah. Where'd you meet?   And you say hello to him? Yeah. And what do you say? Hey, how are you? And I basically just told him I love Bob's Burgers and we like talked for a minute and then he took off. And then he did a 15 minute PowerPoint presentation. Yes, yes, yes. I guess the most impressive person I met this year was the great regurgitator. I did a show, a friend of mine wrote a book about Devo's Freedom of Choice Album and I did this really fun release party show for it. And I did this bit that I'd never done before. I never did again. Like I just wrote a bit specifically for this show that was like about stand up comedy like done in the Devo style and just very randomly. Mike Myers was in the audience and like I didn't know find out until after the show was over and I never I didn't talk to him because he does like it just doesn't seem like the kind of guy who wants to be approached by strangers so much.  Like that's the kind of thing like, you know, more than meeting someone famous, like when I can do well in front of someone whose work I really admire that that is like a highlight. You know, anytime like that is a highlight in comedy for me. I think, you know, like there's a couple of people I've performed with where I've done well and I've been like, all right, this is this, you know, like that's best book you read. I just read Amy Polars. Yes, please. About a couple of weeks ago when I was out of playing, I really enjoyed it. I just saw sisters last night. Oh, how was it? Hysterical. Yeah. What's great about that is all the the comedy roles in that movie go to really talented women, like they're not overpowered by guys. Although it's Rachel Dratch is hysterical. Rachel Dratch is always hysterical. So underrated. So yeah, just Maya Rudolph and the two of them, Amy Polar and Tina Fetiga.   It's really well done. Yeah. Sisters. That's great. Yeah. See them theaters now. I saw hateful eight. Oh, I saw Star Wars. I saw both. I saw Star Wars as well. Hateful eight. I fell asleep. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I had a lot of problems with it, but boring wasn't one of them. I just thought it was bad. I thought it was a bad movie. I thought it was actually I don't I don't say this too much. I thought it was a genuinely misogynistic movie. Like I really thought I really thought that there was a lot of violence towards one woman and and it turned out she totally deserved it.  Jennifer Jason Lee. Yeah. She's great in it. Well, I mean, she's how would you know? Yeah, seriously. He passed out. Oh, that's true. My pet. Right. She was she was great at sitting quietly and getting punched in the face. He's just going to win an Oscar. Best supporting actress. She's going to win an Oscar for sitting quietly. And but meanwhile, Tina Turner won an award in years. And that was a bread and butter for a long time. What was your favorite movie of the year, Star Wars? I really did enjoy Star Wars.  They're just fun. I love like I love they're I don't like watching them at home. Like I like to watch them once in the theaters and like be happy about like I love Jurassic World, too. I haven't seen Jurassic World. Really fun. I don't go to see too many. I'm actually me. You know what I really liked and I was glad I saw in the theater was Cesario. The oh, yeah, the movie about the Mexican drug trade and about about like a young lady soldier who's kind of brought across the border. Was that the Emily Blunt movie? I don't know.  Oh, it was extremely scary. It's like one of the scariest movies I've seen in a long time. I also loved it follows this year. That was like a really scary. What was that movie? It was a it was a horror movie that came out earlier this year. It was a good one. What was it about? It's way too long to for me to just summarize here. I'll do it portly.  Did not say I call that the overrated I agree. I think I think that's a popular opinion, though, that the Martian is overrated. No, I heard a lot of good things about it. I like great reviews. It's like a short list for an Oscar movie. But I was just like and I saw it in 3D, which was also disappointing. There's a 3D effect. I would I wish I'd seen Inside Out instead of the Martian. Yeah, that's what I heard inside. It was great. I heard it was amazing. Have you seen a very merry Christmas? A very merry Christmas. No, no, that's on my list, though. How was that? Well, did you write for that? No. Oh, I don't think anybody did. Best book I've read this year, The Godfather. Oh, you read. How long is it? I don't know. It's about 400 pages. Way shorter than I would expect. The Godfather, by the way, the book way more about vaginal reconstruction surgery than you would expect. Yes. That's kind of a genuinely running theme in the movie. In the book. Yeah. That they cut for the movie. Yeah. Yeah. So you've read the book. I've read the book. I found I was shocked. I found the greatest continuity era in The Godfather. It's a great continuity era. I've been watching The Godfather over and over again. I've decided to become the world's foremost expert on The Godfather. Right. And I watched Godfather one and two on my tablet. And you can just you can just spot every continuity era. Not that there are a lot, but there's one continuity era that I spotted that's minor when Michael is arriving in Vegas to meet with Mo Green and Fredo's in the front seat when he's pulling up to the casino. Forget the 70s era as guys with the beards that you see in the window. Everybody knows about that. What you don't know is it's not Fredo in the car. Who is it? This is a double like a stand in. Yeah. But the great continuity era that I discovered is Enzo the Baker at the beginning of the movie. He comes and asks the Godfather for a favor. And then later when the Godfather is shot and Michael needs him to stand guard. Right. And it's Enzo the Baker again. Completely different actor. Really? Oh, yeah. I didn't I didn't I didn't notice that. Ladies and gentlemen, I found the ultimate continuity era in The Godfather. Right. There were two Enzo the Bakers and you like I've Googled it. Nobody knows about it. Right. I think that you should start a podcast just about that. Well, I people start taking notice. I everybody you all own the Godfather. Watch the beginning. See who plays Enzo the Baker. He wants his daughter's fiance to be great card. Green carded into America. No, that's not it. Right. No, I'm sorry. I'm thinking of America. The funeral director funeral, right. But Enzo the Baker and then when the Godfather is shot and Michael arrives and there's nobody protecting right in the hospital. Right. OK. Enzo the Baker is there with the flowers and he stands outside to guard them. Two different actors. Marlon Brando is so good in that movie. OK. More people need to be talking about Becky from Roseanne being replaced.  Yeah, there were two Darren's on Bewitched also. Did you know that? Yes. Dick Sargent was my nickname at the bath houses in San Francisco.   This is New York. That used to be the original. Dick York was the original name of Greenwich Village. A lot of people think of this. Well, this has been great. Goodbye, 2015. I will not miss you, 2015. Not in like 2015. Not at all. Not at all. I was I quit 2015 in January. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, I don't know. It's been fun watching politics, national politics. That's been a that's been a delight seeing who's up for president.  Seems to be in a little bit of trouble right now. David's a big Hillary supporter. I am.  Kind of look a little Nixonian right there. As we wrap up 2015, he's not taking the bill. Let me just say that this is a very sick and diseased country and we don't have morals. We no longer know right from wrong. We are frightened ignoramuses. If you're having depression or anxiety, remember that you're breathing in toxic vibrations from a very sick and vile country.  You see it with our news. It's not your fault. It's not seasonal affect disorder. You are just receiving the vibes of our country. When did this turn into the end of the year?  Our bell, ladies and gentlemen, we are. And so if you're not feeling well, if you're depressed and sad, it's not you. It's our country. Liam McEnany, January 10th, will be at the Bell House. 2016 2016 will be a live taping of your new album. It'll be and I'm very excited. I've been road testing this material, which is something I didn't do for my last album, which by the way, my last album was pretty great. And I highly recommend picking that up through David's Amazon link.  Yeah, David gets about forty three cents. Yeah. Oh, wow. Great. And so come see Liam McEnany at the Bell House, January 10th, taping his album. Come for Colin, Joseph and Dave Hill. Try to stay for Liam McEnany. If you get the kids at home, go. Honest to God, I just want your money. So if you if you have to. But if you go to hey, it's Liam dot com for more info or you can go to buy tickets at tinyurl.com slash C Liam. And that'll take you right to the ticket link. And how do you spell McEnany? M-C capital E-N-E-A-N-E-Y. Do that again. M-C capital E-N-E-A-N-E-Y. Samantha Roddy, what is your Twitter handle? It is Sam Lee Matters. S-A-M-L-Y Matters. And you will be at the Creek in the Cave, January 5th at 10 p.m. with comedian Mark Normand. Yes. And where is it? He's been on this podcast. Yes, he has. Very funny. So funny. It is in Long Island City right off the 7 train. First stop. First stop off the 7 in the Queens. Yeah, in the Queens. Well, thank you all for listening from the showbiz studios in downtown Manhattan. That'll do it for us. The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you.


What's good YouTube? This is your boy Chihuahua back to y'all again with another Adobe Illustrator tutorial If you're new to the China goal here to hit that like button, comment, subscribe Make sure you hit post notifications so you will be notified anytime boy drop the heat Without further ado, let's jump right into this video in today's video I will be turning a customer of mine into a boom dogs character We're gonna be doing it together step by step so you can follow along and see what your boy doing If you want to be creative and turn yourself into a character So let's let's get it to it. Let's go ahead and pick our size of paper that we joined on I like to draw on 18 by 18 or 8 by 8 really 18 by 18 because you get fit more detail in it But the reason I do even numbers because it fit perfectly when I'm posting it inside of Instagram and stuff like that It it fit in there perfectly. So let's do 18 by 18 inches First thing I do every time I'm starting on a new piece. I Pick a bright bright pinkish color Now drop the opacity down at least Somewhere in between So I can do like a rough sketch and make a blueprint of The artwork before I get started on the line work Now we're gonna set our brush and this only work if you have a Digital tablet, you know one of them art tablets like a Y come or damn boo. I'm using a UG Tablet I'm gonna let y'all see it if y'all wonder what I be joined on it be this little I'm drawing right here, you know Got my TV display right there I'm drawing on this So and they come with a little pen.   Then we can make both of these numbers even So we're gonna do three on each side And then what that's gonna do is give you this This little effect with your brush But you can draw like the lighter you go the thinner your line of B the harder you press down The more thicker it'll be Let's delete all that so first thing we're gonna do we're gonna start out with the sketch I'm looking at a reference on my other stream and what I do is I get the original picture of the person I'm drawing and then I go find the cartoon character So I can know what style I'm going for but at the same time try to make it look similar to the actual person I'm drawing so What we're gonna do we're gonna work on this face first before we go to the body and One thing about this you can and when you start on the face You can Shrink it down to size So fit in the body so we can draw a big it don't matter what size we start with we're gonna start out Making it pretty big and if we got to shrink it down. We just Select everything and just break it down a scale Anytime you working on a picture you just want you want to start out with the sketch and make sure you just having fun With it don't be I know this one up when I see a lot of people sketching they do this It's like they commit and To lines like they move so slow But why you want to move that slow when you're not for sure you're gonna keep that's not your final Only time you want to take that much time is when you're working on your line work like the final draft But when you're working on a sketch You want to be as fluent as possible because you're not for sure you're gonna keep it You're not for sure you want to keep the lines or you're not so When I'm working on a sketch, I like to just I just like to go with the flow cuz I I want to hurry up and see what I'm going with it or what it's gonna look like or should I Keep going with it or should I just erase this?  You're gonna got the detail of the face. Let's break it down some Make it a little thinner We're gonna fit the rest of the body here a little more Fit it all and if you want to scale it down But not like distort anything where it's going to thin or too wide if you want to keep the same size You got all you got to do is hold shift and off and grab the edges and pull it in and then to keep it same proportion So if you want to change just say not we don't want if you don't want to Change the size of the whole picture and you just want to grab a portion of it. All you got to do is bring That little box over Just as much That you want to change and we can alter that without missing with too much of Now that we got our sketch We got our sketch out the way It's time to go in now. This is the part you want to take your time on you want to take your time on the Line work now with this part. This is just our Blueprint, you know I'm saying like what we're gonna follow to make our clean lines, but What we're gonna do is we're gonna lock this layer Create a new layer right above it I'm gonna select the color black size of our brush down And Start Don't start with the eyes I'm gonna go past it back up and if you want to Change the smoothness of your brush Like if you wanted to help you make the lines, all you got to do is Double-click the brush And it'll pull up this chart and then the farther you move it up the more it'll help you make Corrections of the lines and the more you move it down is the more control you will have over your lines So I normally move it between these two You know I'm saying so I can still have some control but really get a lot of help making them Perfect clean lines, you know I'm saying to start with the eyes Now that we got our eye what you want to do Say And we're gonna hold alt on your keyboard do you want to select this and drag it over And let it go so we can make a copy Why I still select it you want to right-click on your mouse go to Transform and then you want to go to reflect that same eyes Okay, now that we got the line work finished it's time to do the coloring process So I'm gonna do this slow and step by step and I hope I don't lose you and maybe you will get the hang of it because when I first Tried this technique it took me a few times to get it because I couldn't get it right at first But I kept on trying it until I got it So I'm pretty sure if you do the same thing you'll find it figured out me like oh Dang, that was simple, but let's go ahead and get it started So the first thing you want to do before you start the process you want to check and make sure All your lines is closed off because the process work like the paint bucket You know I'm saying so you got to make sure your lines closed off so Your colors won't be spilling out. You feel me Let's see. I'm going through making sure I got my lines closed off What you want to do is you want to come right here To your selection tool You want to highlight everything Once you got everything selected you want to go to object expand appearance And then you want to go to your pathfinder and click merge So now what we just did we made all our lines one Big one big line one single line. So when you when you go on to it, you see it's like Everything is together now So after you do that you want to drag your line work down to this blank sheet of paper And drop it to make a copy of it Lock the top layer Come to the second layer right here And then you want to pick a Pick a color to start with Let's see. I'm gonna go ahead and I like to go ahead and pick the skin tone that I'm gonna use Okay, I think that's a good one click. Okay Come to your rectangle tool You want to drag it over the whole picture? Okay Now what we're gonna do right now if in the Right click this color Then we're gonna go to arrange and send to back And you will know if you did that step correctly if you come over here and look at your layers You'll see that your line work is on top of the color now So after you do that step what you want to do You want to come to your selection tool and you want to highlight everything once again The color and the line work together You want to highlight it all and now we finna merge this together and we finna make this one So click merge After you do that you want to Left click like click off of it real quick so we can deselect it then you want to You want to uh left click onto it? And then right click and go to isolate select group So now we can click the areas that's closed off individually And change the color or delete So what we're gonna do we're gonna go ahead and delete all this on the outside what we don't want So just click it click an area and hit delete on your keyboard. Okay Go ahead and color his shoes a nice color for his pants his shirt I'm just get the dropper tool and select the color I use for the shoes to make his tank top Okay, call his hair I'll make it a dark brown Tool and select this color Or just us just watch I'm gonna do I'm just select these little areas by holding shift after I click it I want to hold shift and you just want to keep selecting So we can color all this at the same time get my dropper tool and Use that color for the watch Gonna make the face I'm happy with the With the base color now it's time to go in With our shadow layer. So what I'm gonna do I'm gonna lock this layer Come down here to this blank sheet of paper create new layer in between And the reason we put our line we save a copy of our line work and put it on top So whenever we're coloring This just say It was coloring It'll fall right under the line work For when we're doing shading So we we ain't got to worry about trying to be so perfect where You're trying to stay along the edges and it's going over the top of your line work So that's what I like to do. I like to always make a copy of your line work and stick at The top and lock it So let's go ahead and start on the start on the shadows of the skin Get our dropper tool Select the skin and now we're gonna pick just uh, we're gonna find a good shade Okay, I think that's that's good to start out with Okay, what we're gonna do Notice when these boondocks carrots is they got these little Shadows under the nose the chin. I mean under the lip Under the bottom One thing we're gonna do we're gonna create a layer on the top Just to do the little glare now All you gotta do is come put a little Put a little white dot right down We can lock that layer we're doing so we're gonna come back in the in between layer Make sure we finished up all our Shading and there you have it you guys how to turn yourself into a boondocks character You know I'm saying Make sure you stay prayed up More heat coming soon And I'm out this time