I'm really glad to have each of you here. This is a part of a continuing series and initiative that we're calling our mental wellness initiative as a conference. I would like to offer you a prayer that comes to us. I always like to help those that may be in the preaching world and living their electionary life from week to week if that's their rhythm. I offer you a prayer that comes to us from Vanderbilt Divinity Schools and Library. They have an election series that offers arts, prayers, resources, and different readings throughout the electionary cycle. That may be a resource that some of you want to use. Would you pray with me? Providing God. You journeyed with Ruth and comforted Hannah. When their lives were burdened by grief. Grant us faith to believe you will provide a future where we see none and that bitterness may turn to joy. And barrenness may bear life. Amen. So I'd like to introduce a couple of things before we get started and get move on to some incredible presenters here today. This effort today comes as a part of our mental wellness initiative that really began early on in the COVID pandemic. When we started to hear this language of a tsunami of mental health concerns, the idea being that not everything that was coming to surface was really new, but that things are being moved around, that there's so much change in transition and trauma happening that things are now kind of on the surface and exposed and even exacerbated that weren't before. We began a design process that really gathered some of you here on this call and others try to listen for ways that we as a conference could focus our efforts and work together across different geographies and different sectors, maybe with different partners to effect an even bigger change. And so some of the top themes that our stakeholders around the conference named were public policy change needs to happen in order to make mental health resources and funding more available. Access to rural care and urban care settings was vital that there needed to be a stronger continuum of care in congregations and with congregational partners. So think of referrals and how to help kind of hand off the care of individuals between pastor and lay leaders and Stephen ministers and those that can help folks through some very difficult settings that there was a real need for mental health first aid training across of our conference in order to kind of activate people all across north Texas that we have access to not only through our pews but people that people in our pews know so that we can be a force for healing and wholeness all across north Texas by equipping people with this first aid training. And another component that Shirley's working on and Dana Coker who's out in bottom of work on is safety in law enforcement counters first aid training to help small departments that may not have the funding for all of the trainings that they may want to be able to de-escalate and make encounters with police less deadly. All those things being said, opening the conversation de-stigmatizing the topic of mental health mental wellness communicating resources and media about these things seem to be like the key that would unlock everything else and so that's why we're having this conversation today and so we we wondered how might we increase awareness in churches that they have a role in mental health and how on how might we reframe our conception of mental illness, mental wellness, mental health as a part of Wesleyan discipleship. A discipleship of wholeness of body, mind and spirit and how might we even be able to take away the money barrier that is often there for care and wellness. And so a couple of things that we've got brewing are we're building out a campaign with the help of our communications department and many people on this call that month by month is going to be building a set of themed resources around different areas up to May 2022 which is mental health awareness month and so November is going to be around holiday stress which we'll talk about some today and you'll see these resources communicated in newsletters and our via our social media from the Center for Mission Outreach and from the conference as a whole so we'll try to get those pushed out to you as much as possible and we hope that you and people in local churches, pastors will be able to share those through your social media and be able to recommend those resources on to others. So a couple of things we'd like to make available to you. We have also created a portal to talk about this mental wellness initiative here and we've got the addresses here on your screen that talk about where we've been and where we're going but then also provide a drop down menu that we're adding to and curating more and more as we walk out toward May 2022 with resources like for those who are on the conference insurance plan how to get in touch with the EAP Employment Assistance Program to have free counseling both for that individual and their family members how to enroll in talk space you know for November we're talking about holiday stress and so we've got a number of resources here from faith and grief because that's one of the things that often comes up around holidays support groups. Podcasts holiday infographics that you might use from your faith community and personally to share an outline for blue Christmas services that's something that that you need help with and that's one of the things that you might want to do. Lists of providers or support groups that you may want to help refer other people to housing for those that are in the midst of difficulties and of course you know some of the phone numbers hotlines that we want to make sure they're always in front of us should somebody be in contact with us please send them my way and I will put my contact information below once we switch speakers. Can you see my screen again. The PowerPoint screen in full. Okay. So the other part that we're working on is an experiment with wellness hub churches. We're working together with Methodist Health faith community nursing and Golden Cross Foundation and the Center for Integrative Counseling and Psychology and our mental wellness initiative and the mental health Alliance to experiment with creating three to five site churches that have enough traffic and already connect in rural, urban and suburban settings have a faith community nurse assigned to help train and activate lay people and clergy and staff with first aid training community assessments individual assessments for congregation members and people coming through have a covenant site with Brad's group with the Center for Integrative Counseling and Cities where social worker or case worker to provide some programming and access for folks that are in particularly in the southern Crescent area of Dallas and others in the DFW area. So that's some experiments that are ongoing and like to invite Bud Brown, but are you with us to just say a word about the mental health Alliance that is being built out by first church and other partners here in the Dallas area? Because I know some of you in your congregations may be really excited about this. Well, Brad, thank you very much about two years ago St. Luke Community and First Dallas began talking about putting together an alliance and this is now culminated in the mental wellness Alliance. We have nine churches and it is an alliance of mental wellness ministries. So it's people that are doing fantastic work. We have an education component, a project component and a community engagement component where we have a venture with Nami North Texas to go out to 10 different community segments that are impacted by mental wellness into 15 counties. It's a huge endeavor, but it all will start with a couple of pilot projects like what you're talking about that you just showed at the churches. So if anybody has interest in that, I would love to talk with you about that. And so if they can get my information that would be fantastic. All right, but as we move on to the next speaker would you put, are you able to enter your contact information in the chat box? Sure. Of course. That would be lovely. All right, I'll do that. Thank you very much for that. So now I'd like for us to transition to talking about some of the seasonal resources, you know, we're approaching the holiday season. We are coming what feels like forever in this COVID pandemic. And we know there's a lot of pressure on individuals, parents. So many things that are going on in our world that, you know, this year on top of others, we really need to think about what tools and resources we can use to help one another stay well through this time. So surely would you introduce yourself and the work that you do and what you recommend for us? Yeah, so I go ahead and bring up my slides to start. Please. Are you able to see my slide? We are. Yes, thank you. Thank you so much for inviting me, Andrew. My name is Shirley Weddle. I am the charter president co-founder of the Sissi Prevention and Brain Health Rotary E-Club. Prior to that, though, I've been the outreach chairperson at St. March. Not even at this church in Mesquite where we've actually talked about suicide prevention and brain health since 2015. Also involved locally with our St. Stephen United Memphis church where they've done a lot of work in talking about suicide prevention and have attended Don Anderson's support group for survivors of suicide loss since 2014 when we lost our son Matthew to suicide. And now facilitated group after having been tutored by Don to be able to do that. Also an instructor for mental health first aid community lays on for the city of Mesquite for our suicide prevention and mental brain health efforts been involved in the American Foundation for suicide prevention. Most importantly, I'm Matthew's mom. So we lost Matthew in 2014 to suicide. And since then I've really been struggling finding along my journey healing and how to make a difference in Matthew's name to help others. One thing that I've learned and that you may share this with those that have lost a child in your congregation that according to research your child stem cells are in mother's body and their brain and their heart and in their body so that whenever they do things in their name, it's like they're continuing on in their child's legacy and making a difference. Our suicide prevention and brain health Rotary E-Club is a group that we have a diverse membership and not limited by geography because we meet via zoom on the second and fourth Monday each month at seven o'clock. That is actually a member of our group. We have members in course in Dallas County. We have members in Fannin County Lamar County over near Cedar Creek Lake as well as for other states. So we are growing and trying to reach out to people. We're not limited as I said by geography and our communities. We're trying to identify the needs and collaborate to offer free education and resources to schools, faith organizations, businesses, groups, first responders, other Rotary Clubs, parents, communities, anyone that will listen or anyone that wants to participate in the program. We're trying to identify the needs and collaborate to offer free education and resources to schools, faith organizations, businesses, groups, people that will listen or anyone that wants to have some sort of training. We regularly provide updated resource information every month via email, sometimes really long emails that Andrew gets, but lots of information. It's important to understand that suicide is a complex issue with over 800,000 people dying by suicide each year according to the World Health Organization.  It's important to understand that there are external factors and stressors that generate chemical interactions in the body which exceed the current coping skills of an individual. There is no single cause.  It's like having a brain attack as opposed to having a diabetes or heart attack. It's influenced by sleep, diet, exercise, stress, pain, feelings of isolation, life events, all of those in return. Again, mental health is brain health which is physical health. I showed this picture, unfortunately, that this is my son Matthew at the ballpark at Arlington. And over 44,000 people died by suicide in 2020. And that's fluctuated in the last two years between 44,000 and 48,000. And that's basically about how many people fit in the ballpark at Arlington. I never expected that. I would be showing a picture of my son at the ballpark at the ballpark at Arlington.  And even though our numbers have gone down in the last couple of years, the number of people that died by suicide in the U.S., it doesn't tell the whole story. We've actually had an increase in number of overdoses. And LGBTQ and minority groups are especially at increased risk of suicide. Veterans are still 1.5 times more likely to die than those in the U.S. And that's estimated to be more than 1.5 million people in the U.S. There's a number of people who died by suicide in the U.S. and it's estimated that more than 1.5 million people in the U.S. are likely to die by suicide. We have more than 150,000 people who died by suicide. More than 1.5 million people in the U.S. and the families and how many people are impacted. Suicide is still a leading cause of death, although it moved from number 10 to a number 11 in 2020 due to COVID. It's the second leading cause of death in ages 10 through 34, a high risk group. Yes, kiddos age 10 die by suicide. The largest number of suicides in any single age group is our retirees in age 55 through 64. Survivors of suicide laws are at greater risk of suicide. So it's really important to watch out for them in congregations and even in your support groups. Those that have had a traumatic sudden loss also are at higher risk.  What are some of the barriers to care? And to be able to talk about this, it's the stigma that still exists around mental health and suicide. And it started way back when, many years ago, when perhaps people just didn't understand what was going on in the brain. People were untreated for their mental health conditions. And because they were untreated, they acted in ways that frightened people. And so they then created the stigma around it. And sometimes there's greed involved also, by the way. Sometimes people wanted to seize other's property. But through the years, all this information has been propagated and been passed down from generation to generation. It's only now when we can share information, true science information that I think that we can make a difference. There's a lack of training. Even medical doctors don't get much training in suicide prevention, law enforcement, the general public. There's a lot of issues still for cost of care for insurance coverage and just general financial coverage for counseling. And also there's not enough mental health professionals, especially culturally competent and culturally sensitive ones to meet the needs. In a recent 2022 Mental Health America Report, Texas was next to last among all states in the District of Columbia in having mental health professionals available per capita to take care of its citizens. So what is it that we can do together? How we can collaborate and work together? We focus on the facts and science instead of fear and misinformation. I think the key to get rid of stigma is to understand that mental health, it's brain health is physical health. It's physical health. We talk about mental health and suicide openly as you would any other health topic with friends and family at work and where we worship. We promote awareness and education. We talk about what we learn, we practice it. We learn how to recognize risk factors and warning signs and how to address them so we know what to do once we recognize them. It's like if you know that somebody's having a heart attack but you don't know CPR, you're kind of in that gray area. So we need to understand how to help someone who's having a brain attack. Know how to find and access resources. It's important to listen non-judgmentally and offer support for those who struggle and to address the misinformation. Get rid of the myths about suicide. One really popular one is that talking about suicide will lead someone to die by suicide and that is false. Actually talking about suicide opens up the conversation and lets them know that someone cares and they can talk about it. We need to get rid of the word committed suicide from our vocabulary. We need to say died by suicide instead or ended their life by suicide because that negative connotation associated with a committed and a crime is very hurtful and it also increases the statement. We need to understand and focus on self-care, mental wellness and protective factors which is really important if the church can really offer to its congregation and its leadership. In our Rotary Club, as I mentioned, we try to offer lots of free resources and training. We have multiple versions of the let's talk suicide prevention and brain health presentation which is about anywhere from 30 minutes to 45 minutes. The talk saves lives PowerPoint presentations from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. The mental health first aid courses that Andrew mentioned earlier. Actually one of our members is an outreach person from the North Texas Behavioral Health Authority and she has funding to offer mental health first aid as often as we want to. Two for adults working with youth and for adults working with adults. And some of you have already been to one or recent one. We have another one coming up on November 6th, Youth Mental Health First Aid. It's virtual on a Saturday and we welcome you to sign up for that. And if you have at least five people in your congregation or in your group that would like to class, we can schedule class for five people. It can be virtual or in person. We also have gatekeeper training. We ask for training as well as QPR offered by members of our group. We also have presentations related to veteran issues such as more injury. For younger children, we have a wonderful program called Gizmo's Possum Guide to Mental Health. And it's even for elementary students which you can also use with families. There's Soul Shop for youth and adults that is a Christian based program that a couple of us in our group were able to present. And then the granddaddy or gold standard of intervention skills training, SIST training applied to a side intervention skills training. That is the one thing that we don't have grant funding for. So we're seeking assistance in being able to provide that funding and provide those classes. We're looking at doing that sometime in the spring. There's a number of additional resources that I have here which I'll make available to Andrew so that he can share them. As I mentioned earlier, we send out our monthly email with lots of different opportunities. We also have classes now in conjunction with the ISD Community Education Department where you can sign up for mental health first aid classes about bullying and things like that. We have our Christian survivors of suicide loss group, support groups, which Don leads at Lovers Lane United Methodist Church on the first Thursday. I lead on the third Tuesday via Zoom and Terry Hartman leads at First EMC, Richardson in person on the second day of Tuesday. We have additional support groups through the faith and grief group. Again, one of the members of our suicide prevention and brain health recovery E-Club, we have the out of the darkness block coming up on Saturday, as well as a survivor day on November 20th. And I'll be glad to provide additional information about that. Here in the city of Mesquite, we offer free mental health counseling to any resident in Mesquite and you can access information through the city of Mesquite Mental Health Initiative. We also have a number of resources listed there and we update those regularly. We have bilingual counseling available through the Multicultural Recovery Center in Mesquite. They also have locations in Dallas and in Irving. The mustard seed generation provides mental health services for Korean American faith communities. Cohen Metricare provides services for veterans and their families. Information is also here for the VA North Texas for their mental health and suicide prevention group. We have resources available free from the UT Dallas Center for Brain Health. The Brain Health Project is a great program that you can sign up for ages 18 through 100 and whatever. So it's really helpful in learning about your brain, doing the brain health assessment and teaching you how to work out your brain. The Halliburton Foundation, again, one of our members has lots of resources for youth and actually has a help for Texas resource line to help you find resources. The Amy Clinics have now opened in Irving and they have resources. NAMI, which Bud mentioned earlier, the National Alliance of Mental Illness has multiple resources. In the Veteran Resource Center, stop1.info has great recordings and trains available. So these are just a few of the resources that we offer for free. And in case you don't have it, this is something that we started doing and putting in our bulletins is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Number. You wanna have that and for veterans, you can press one to go directly to a line where we have veteran support. It's available also if you feel more comfortable in speaking Spanish or for hearing challenge folks. And of course, we have the text line. We'll be doing some additional presentations from our E-Club soon about those people that are retirees and are at greater risk. And so once we have that, I'll provide some additional information for your retirees and how to support them. And here's my contact information. So if you'd like to contact me, it's my personal email, my cell phone. Now, if you call me on my cell phone, you might need to text or leave a message first. I'm very reluctant to answer numbers that I don't recognize because I usually get calls from people wanting to sell me something. But then of course, my public-facing email is the SWBbrainhouse.gmail.com. Thank you very much. Thank you, Shirley. Shirley is a wealth of information, as you can tell. And so I encourage anyone who's interested to sign up for that E-Rotary Club because it is just a continual development of resources that we can use in our various settings. April, are you, where you can share with us the resources that you found helpful in the season? Well, thank you. Hi, everybody. April Bristo, Associate Pastor at First United Methodist Church Richardson. I'm Director of Caring Ministries and also instructor for courses study where I teach congregational care. I have done some additional research in the whole topic of grief as I have authored a grief recovery class or a divorce recovery class. And actually right now our church is revising our grief recovery class. And so I have dived in pretty deeply to this topic of grief. And also want very much a mental health advocate. And so I just want to share it. So I will just go ahead and let you know that this is a work in progress. And so I am just pulling together some ideas for a holiday survival kit for folks to find peace in the midst of grief as they are journey, specifically as we are in this season now, this last part of the year. So that usually the time between the end of October, November through the beginning of the year, folks suffer with seasonal effective disorder. And so what can we as the church do to help people that are struggling and having a hard time during this season? And so one of the things that I have done was just outline four basic things that the church can do. And these are intentional faith-filled strategies and suggestions for us to engage in ministry during this time. The first is to just, and I say just, that word just is sometimes a slight, but also a very small, but also a very powerful word. It is important for us to acknowledge these feelings that we have during this season. I just like to say that our emotions are a way that God has fearfully and wonderfully made us. And so for us to embrace how God has fearfully and wonderfully made us and the way we move through life is important. So Shirley talked about those internal and external factors that impact our experience as we go through life. It is very important for us to get real when we are having a difficult time to go ahead and say that and to not equate our faith as we get a pass from experiencing this. People of faith have struggles. People of faith have difficulties. And we often think that the Christian thing to do, and I put that in air quotes because it is not necessarily so, is to just focus on the positive and be positive. And while that is, yes, an element of our faith also being real is an element of our faith as well. And so some of the toxic positivity that we point people to I think is not helpful. So, and so I want all of us to get very comfortable with acknowledging the difficult times that we have. And not necessarily trying to fix it, allowing the community really for it to be a whole life and also a whole community support. And so for us to have a community support, it is important for us to get the help that we need. Well, what does that mean? I think getting the help that we need means a number of different things. And so it is important for us to have some agency in where we are. And knowing that God has gifted us tools and for us to know what those tools are and begin to use those tools. And it is important as we try to get the support we need to build our support base. And so I, as a pastor and very quick to say that people need a therapist as they are really all clergy need a therapist. And during this time in this season in life, all of us need a therapist because all of us are going through something that needs the help of our therapist to help us adjust, relate and find positive strategies for healthy living. And I like to remind people that this is really a theological move. It is us building the body of Christ and allowing the gifts that God has given other people to help us as we are on our journey. And so it is, it is literally a whole community perspective because God has gifted us tools God has gifted people with knowledge, experience, education to help us as we journey through. And so it is important for us to lean on that and help to develop our theology and our understanding of who we are because quite honestly, a lot of our existence is really individual. And then on top of the individuality becomes the isolation and only this. Well, those things are a recipe for having a difficult time going through life. And so it is important for us to build the support that we need. And so reaching out to therapists and I wanna encourage Stephen Ministry as another great option. And Stephen Ministry are trained leaders that help journey with people and help people that are going through difficult time with listening support. And that is very important to have someone to listen to us. We all need a vessel so that we can share our story. And so Stephen ministers are trained to listen to your story journey with you and a very important element to pray with you as well. And so it is important for us to build our support base and get the help that we need and encourage our members to get the help that they need as well. Another important and intentional faith build strategy is to get real. I just finished teaching our Help for Hurting Hearts grief recovery class. And one of the things that we talked about is how do we deal with this? This is a group of people that have already said I'm having a hard time. I've had a difficult loss in my life. I'm having a hard time. And now as we are approaching the holiday season what can I do to get through this season? And so one of the things that we start off encouraging to do is to get real with what you can and cannot do. And so so often we all pray too because we've always done this before because that is our ritual, that is our habit. And we don't really assess whether those things that we do really serve us at this time and at this stage. Is it possible to do all of this now? Do we have the energy to do all of, if you're one of those people that do all of the cooking during the holiday season do you even have the energy for all of that? And most of us can muster up and try to do everything and we will run ourselves a ragged and then totally get ourselves even more out of kilter. And so taking an honest assessment for what you can comfortably handle understanding what is important to you. If this season is a great season to do some reflection of what that used to be important to me and I think this is important to me now. And so those things that we used to do that used to be important to us it's okay to begin to break those ties of those rituals that we used to do but so many of us are afraid to do that and we don't risk making the change. And some people are quite the opposite just blow everything, blow everything away and say, you know what, this year is different I'm not doing any of that. And in that it is important to notice what is really important to you. And then based on where you are make a plan for how you are gonna get through the season and not only make a plan but find an accountability partner that will journey with you to help you along the way. And so one of the things that we're doing at first Richardson is pairing we have a Stephen ministry program and we have some Stephen ministers that are signed. And so one of the things that we're doing during this season is having a very intentional time from the middle of November to after the beginning of January where we're assigning Stephen ministers to people that are having a hard time during the season so that they can be that prayer support that accountability support and encouragement support and just an overall support so that people can feel connected, feel loved and valued as they go through this season. And the last thing that I want to talk about is it just something simple as people of faith we need to get back to the basics of our faith. And so I have again and again just looked at the whole season of advent and the advent focus and my goodness, I think this will help us a lot as we are working with people who are journeying through a difficult time to point them back to the real meaning of the advent season, the preparation for Christmas, the focusing each week as we light the candle on hope. What is hope in my life? Peace, what is that Shalom? That multi-dimensional life focus of Shalom where it is not just peace making with one another, it is a whole life response to our lives. So looking for that peace, that Shalom, the joy, the love and then Christ. All of these principles I think are so important to helping us as we navigate the difficult time that navigate a difficult time and season as we journey through advent. And so as we are encouraging people to reconnect to the basis of our faith and focusing on what the real meaning of Christmas is this preparation for the coming of Christ, it's also important to maybe look at some new spiritual practices. So what are some things that you can do during this season to be intentional, to connect with God in a more meaningful and a deeper way? And so Bible study, prayer, those are the great kind of go-to things. But I want us to think outside of the spiritual practice box to think about new things, new ways that you can connect with your faith, the tenants of our faith, reconnect with God ourselves and with each other. Thank you so much, April. Really appreciate this emphasis on getting back to basics and getting real. And I wonder, Kim, if you would be able to go next. Of course. Would you introduce yourself in, you've got a recent book that is out and some workshops coming up that I think really speak to the realness that we need to get to. Thank you, I'm trying, I, here we go. Can you all see my screen? Okay, my name is Kim Myers and I am a pastor at St. Andrew and I Methodist Church and my focus is on family ministry. And I currently just published a book called Parenting with Perspective. And I'm doing workshops, I'd love to come to your church but for today I wrote a little bit of April, like it's like we planned together, actually it's kind of funny, of what you can do when it comes to the holidays, when it comes to family. I think one thing about my book that I think is a little bit different, A, it's just real, like it talks about how you don't like your kids all the time, it talks about how you mess up, it has pieces in it than that. But what it starts with is you as the parent, so the adult who is helping to raise the children. I think when it comes to the holidays, there's a lot of expectations that come around a lot of people, right? So I am married to my husband, he has his family, which is also part of four brothers, which I then have my family and I have a sister. So managing expectations about where you're going, where you're not going, where you're gonna stay is important to name that before Thanksgiving day or Christmas day, but managing those expectations both for yourself and also for your children, right? When we go to different families homes, there's different rhythms of each family home. So setting your children up for that success of, okay, we're going to this house, at this house, the grandparents kind of sit in their chair and do this, at this house, the grandparents are gonna be very, just acclimating people for what to expect. I don't care what age, I have teenagers, I prep my children before we go to my sister's house, don't forget, your nephews love you, look up to you and they're younger and they're gonna ask a lot of questions, be ready for that. I think that expectations for both you as an adult and for your children, no matter what age is fine. At this house, pop-pop likes hugs. If you don't wanna give pop-pop a hug, give them an alternative for a handshake or a fist bump, setting these things where you know where things can go down. I also say plan for the meltdown. If you have younger children, this time of year is full of class parties, right, Halloween is on a Sunday night, which means Monday morning is just, we just need to all get on our knees and pray for all the educators for this Monday morning. But plan for the meltdowns. How are you gonna handle them? Are you going to take them outside? Just have it in your mind, because at some point from October through December, it's gonna happen. There's extra food, there's extra candy, there's less naps, just plan for that. And also when, within that, plan for quiet time. In the craziness of the holidays, plan for a family movie night where you don't do anything.  Plan for just something simple, because there isn't very much of that. As April said, if you're the person who likes to cook all the meals, do you actually have time to cook all the meals? I don't enjoy cooking the meals. So guess what? I can order a pizza and everybody's happy. I have a house of teenage boys, so I actually order like four pizzas because that's just my life right now. But plan for that just kind of respite time. And then naming what's important for your family. Each family has different rhythms and needs and wants. And that's gonna change as your family changes. For example, it was important for me when we had young children to be at our home on Christmas morning. I named that expectation to all of our family. I opened our doors and said, we're gonna be in pajamas. I have some cast roles on the counter, come on by. But we ain't leaving, right? And honestly, I've respected that with my sister now that she has the little ones. We go to her house because she don't wanna leave with all the toys, right? My kids are still in bed, it's fine. We just roll on up in pajamas. Just naming what's important to our family. We used to do a happy birthday Jesus cake. That was something that we made time to do as a family. We don't do that so much anymore. Now that our rhythm has changed and I'm quite busy on Christmas Eve, our new family norm is going to a Chinese buffet when I have an hour off from, I'm not in a worship service. It's become our thing. We love it, right? But it's changed as the rhythm changes. I'm sure now as we're approaching the empty nester phase, that rhythm will change too. But just naming what's important at the time. And then I also think it's important to name what can you let go of? You don't have to do all the things and be at all the things. It's okay to say no. It's hard for us to say no, especially this time of year and especially with the family expectations that come with things. But I used to host Christmas Eve. I host in Christmas Eve anymore and it's okay. Everybody still loves me fully for who I am. I think these things sound very simple, but if you actually do these and set these expectations for yourself and your family, feel like the whole journey of the holidays can go a little bit easier, go a little quieter. And then as April talked about faith, again, this has changed as we have grown as a family. Reading the Christmas story in Luke was something that we still do every Christmas Eve, right? It's just become a rhythm of our family. But what is important, the other thing that we started doing was just lighting a candle for a minute a day. Sometimes it lasted 10 seconds, sometimes it lasted the full minute, but finding those times to connect with your faith during Advent, I mean, that's what it's for, right? Prepare your hearts and your minds in teaching your children and your family how to do that in intentional, easy ways. Light a candle, talk about something that was good that day. Light a candle, talk about something you're struggling with, just naming that you're here and you're joining this together. Read a portion of the Christmas story every day. Whatever it is that can be simple and intentional. I mean, we used to do it with a Lego calendar, right? We'd sit around, open the Lego Advent calendar, which was completely secular, but within that moment, we would talk about also our faith story and they were building Legos, right? You just gotta find what works for you. So I think ultimately, that's what I would just wanted to share with you all, that gain that perspective, right? And I am 100% available, well, not 100%. I will say no at times because it's healthy. But to come to your church and lead parenting workshops to just help parents find this respite and time to breathe, I threw my email address and my website in the comments. If you have any questions, I'm here. Thank you so much, Kim. Brad, what is on your mind as you lead the Center for Integrative Psychology and Counseling and in this season, like what are you encountering? What do you kind of commend others? I know you offer a lot of interviews for local news channels and others to help individuals and families kind of think through how to prepare for different situations. What would you recommend for us as we go about this work in the season? Sure, thank you. I do believe that April and Kim really beautifully encapsulated many different issues that people face at holidays as they were sharing what I was thinking about was how, what they're discussing, the discussion about suicide and education, all of that is a microcosm for what should and does and can happen throughout the year. And so that means one education. So each of those who've already spoken talked about ways that we educate, we raise awareness. April mentioned validation, that things aren't always great. And so I think that during this time, we are aware of what's already been mentioned and just taking in the complexity of grief right now, we're facing a season of grief when we haven't been able to, when we haven't been able to grieve in the ways that we're used to. So that would be one note. The second part of what has already been mentioned that is so key throughout the year is then prevention. So stepping in a little bit more with opportunities for teaching of skills. So it's one thing to say and validate the season may be difficult. That next step is offering practical tips for what Kim is mentioning. And that is more along the lines of prevention. With that information, we can prevent there being unrealistic expectations on kids behavior, which then takes away the opportunity for good, solid quality time. And then the third phase, and I think this is key and a part of what this whole mental health initiative, Andrew, that you have been so persistent with and done such a great job with and it's evolving. And I see that fruit of your work is intervention. So when we talk about the crisis hotlines, when we talk about, as April mentioned, Stevens ministers, when we talk about a key, the keys to really making referral information as available as possible so that people know that counseling is available. So intervention needs to happen when issues have progressed. Just as we destigmatize the idea of mental health as a health issue, we also need to destigmatize mental health care. So making sure people know that it's okay to get counseling. And I definitely agree with what April said about ministers, church leaders are entrusted with the care of souls and congregations, parishioners project a lot onto ministers. Ministers are having to be vulnerable and listening to others vulnerabilities and we have our own vulnerabilities. And so that's a lot. So that encouragement and one way to encourage that is through referral. By the way, Don from Lovers Lane, UMC on the call, I came up, maybe it's a new term. She is an active referrer. So I will see her name come up at the center often, people calling and saying, Don recommended I call. Same goes obviously with April and Kim, but just noting Don's commitment to mental health and I've always been impressed by that. So just some other anecdotes, we are very busy. There is a lot of demand. I'm talking to April about getting back into our office at First UMC Richardson. We've been able to start at some churches. We've been able to be in person at Christ UMC, providing counseling at First UMC, Waukesa Hatchee. It's just a matter of getting our therapists in there. Really what's now that they're hybrid schedules where people still want telecounseling and it is convenient and it's another location for us now. It is another way for making counseling accessible. But what we are working on doing and it's calls like this that are very important to us, that is working to be a support, working to provide information. I'm just in the chat. Andrea, would you give me a favor? I'm working off of my phone. Do you mind emailing my email or commenting in the chat box with my email address? That would be awesome. Sorry to make you do that, but they'll just make it easier and less painful for everybody to be able to see me doing that. So I'm used to using my phone. So bottom line, what I have heard being very intentional about validating and that is about raising awareness, but then going that next step and offering opportunities for discussion, for learning, for learning of skills and then finally being ready and being proactive about opportunities for more in-depth intervention. One other note that I've been aware of in work with churches would be really being in tune with all of the different types of families, all of the different stages of family life. So sometimes there's subtle things that we might do. We might say there's an adult couple's Christmas party when there are single adults who have been in the church who are perhaps are divorced now and that's still a part of their community. Being in tune with how things are scheduled so that people are able to attend. So that's just one final encouragement is really being in tune with people's different ages, stages, lives, where their families are to be as inclusive as possible in different types of Christmas experiences. So take what y'all have already talked about, that ongoing, consistent provision and menu of opportunities on each of those stages. Just one more example, Plymouth Park UMC contacted me and they have planned out a series and already have the dates set, already have everything planned for the spring. We're looking forward to being a part of that but definitely want to speak with you. We've done some work with St. Luke and of course I've done some work with First Dallas. Really am excited about what you're doing and wanna talk more about that. So always fun to be with this group of awesome people. So thank you for having me. Well, I wanna thank each of you for being a part of this conversation and sharing from your perspective and experience kind of what you would commend for others in this season and for your continued partnership as we think about mental wellness and discipleship and how we can together make a bigger impact across our conference in North Texas. This session will be recorded and I will post that via our social media as well as email that to all of you who signed up today and always encouraging if you have resources that you would like to add to our resource list would love to have your input on that as we go about collecting them and I'm very thankful for your work. And that concludes our call.


It's all about giving back, and I always have this phrase from the U.S. Embassy that you are going to the United States of America to be trained on leadership. And the Department of State also keeps telling us after, you know, your leadership training in the United States, what are you going to do back home? Are you going to help train other people? I think it will be what I will be doing actually. I'm in a university environment, and there are many young people who really need leadership training, and I'm going to contribute a lot into training young people.