Okay, welcome back after the break just before we went for our break. We were studying the literal kingdom in chapter 10 So any questions anyone has in this chapter? I'm sure you have a lot of questions regarding the end times the science what is going to happen? But you know, you will be studying a course in detail Call eschatology and all that's happening in the end times So I think most of your doubts and queries will all be answered then but any of you have any questions regarding what? Was mentioned in this chapter in chapter 10 anyone has any questions? Okay No questions Okay, there are no questions then We'll move on to chapter 11 the last chapter in this Publication the kingdom of God the kingdom mandate. Okay We know that there is a mandate on our lives a commission a Responsibility a call on our lives that Jesus has placed and that is the kingdom mandate and Jesus put it for us in this way when he said in Matthew chapter 6 Verses 9 and 10. So can somebody please read Matthew chapter 6 versus 9 and 10, please Matthew chapter 6 versus 9 and 10. Can somebody read that please for us? Matthew chapter 6 verse 9 and 10 This then is how you should pray a father in heaven Hallowed be your name your kingdom come you will be done on earth as it is in heaven Amen, so Jesus said I want you to play this Way and he says what does he say? You know, he says your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven which means the mandate to see his kingdom is on you and me because you and me are asked to pray And what are we asked to pray?  What do you pray? You pray Lord?  You've got friends.  That's the mandate that's in your life in my life and The mandate is for us to pray and what are we to pray? We are to pray that God's kingdom come his will be done in wherever we are, you know In any area every sphere of our lives in our neighborhood in our workplace in our college in our schools wherever we go to, you know This is what we are asked to pray This is the mandate that is on your life and my life So it's our responsibility to see his kingdom come and his will be established in our lives, okay So when you pray that prayer, you know What is going to happen is you're going to be part of the answer to that prayer because when we pray You know, and when we pray things that are in accordance with God's will God is going to answer So when you pray your prayer is going to be you are going to be part of the answer to that Prayer so as you pray that kingdom come God says, okay, you know that he is going to release his Kingdom his kingdom is going to come in and through you, okay Now the Pharisees they came to Jesus and they were trying to figure out how You know, his kingdom is going to come here on earth now Jesus is preaching about the kingdom of God and he's saying repent for the kingdom of heaven is here But you know, they are wondering where is the kingdom? You know, they can't see the physical aspect of the the kingdom because they have envisioned the kingdom to be but king will come right or overthrow the enemies and would you know Give freedom to these Jews and they will be in authority and in In power and not be oppressed by the Roman government or who was oppressing Them so, you know, they were trying to figure out how this kingdom is going to Come so when Jesus is saying repent for the kingdom of heaven is here You know, they're wondering but where is this kingdom and how is it going to come? So they said, you know, Lord, tell us how this kingdom is going to come and look at what Jesus's response was in Luke chapter 17 verses 20 and 21 can somebody read that please Luke chapter 17 verse 20 and 21 Luke chapter 17 verse 20 and 21 now when he was asked by the Pharisees When the kingdom of God would come he answered them and said the kingdom of God does not come with Observation nor will they say see here or see there for indeed the kingdom of God is in within you Yeah, immense. So here it says, you know Jesus says it does not come the way that you think is going to come like the traditional Monarchs and the kings that you have seen marching and you know, this great parade that they have But he says the kingdom of God is not going to come like this Traditional kings who parade and bring about you come and pump and show and all their glory and majesty But he says the kingdom of God comes, you know Not in these ways, but he says the kingdom of God is within you It is within them, but the kingdom that Jesus has been talking about is a kingdom that is within them So, you know as you and I are praying God let your kingdom come in my home Let it come in my neighborhood in my apartment complex in my office and you know the Bible College where I'm studying The kingdom that is going to come is within you It's inside you as you are going to the Bible College as you are going to the workplace or as you are You know living that apartment complex in that neighborhood the kingdom of God is dead because where you are Is where the kingdom is because the kingdom of God is within you. It's inside you So wherever you are, wherever we are whatever situation that we enter in the king and his kingdom Already steps in because the kingdom of God is within us. We've already looked at all of these things I'm just Retreating it, you know, so there's a potential for God's kingdom to be released in and through any and every Situation there's a potential for God's kingdom to be released into that place Because you and I have walked in and the kingdom is within us So we are basically carrying God's kingdom and even as we are carrying God's kingdom We are you know able to manifest his kingdom and even as we're carrying his kingdom or the kingdom of God is within us We're carrying his authority and his power into that situation into that circumstances Into that place wherever we are going So we need to be conscious that the kingdom of God is within us now There's one thing that you and I need to understand about this kingdom of God that there is a dichotomy Or there is a paradox Or this there are two opposites on one hand Jesus said in Matthew chapter 18 He said that unless you become like a little child you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven or the kingdom of God So there is this whole dimension of expressing God's kingdom Which requires child likeness from us child like faith child like abandoning ourselves To the father's trust and totally depending and Surrendering ourselves totally to him, but in Matthew chapter 11 Jesus also said something else in Matthew chapter 11 verse 12 and Somebody else can read Luke chapter 16 verse 16. So can somebody read that please? Matthew 11 12 and Luke 16 16 Luke 16 16 The law and the prophets were until John Since that time the kingdom of God has been preached and everyone is pressing into it Amen. Thank you. Can someone else read Matthew chapter 11 verse 12, please and From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violence take it by force online students, what's wrong? None of you are reading what happened to Rin and to Nina Santosh and Nikhil and Sri Radha What's happening there? Can you please quickly read the scripture passages? You can just pass on the mic quickly I'm sure you're close to each other and please be ready to read so that we don't have any waste of time Okay, so there are certain areas of our life and relationship with God where you know where we just need to You know expect us to be childlike Unless we are childlike, you know, we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven That's what Jesus says but on the other hand there are things in life where God Expects us to be militant in the spirit, you know, he expects us to be aggressive in the spirit Which is unless we become violent in the spirit or we become aggressive or? Militant like in the spirit we cannot enter into that Kingdom because Jesus said the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violence take it by Force so this is something you and I must understand and begin to live by So we have to press in into the things of the kingdom You know it says here we need to press into the things of the kingdom So you can ask the question why you know do I have to press in as if it is God Holding it back for me, you know it and I need to just pull it from him or snatch it from him It's not that it's not God holding it back for me Or it's not God holding it back from you But Jesus said in Luke chapter 12 verse 32 Look at what Jesus says in Luke chapter 12 verse 32. Can one of you read that please? Luke 12 32 Do not fear little flock for this your father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom Yes, what is your father's good pleasure to give you? It is his father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Okay, so the father wants you to have the Kingdom he wants you to have the righteousness peace and joy which is Characteristic of his kingdom or describes his Kingdom and he wants you to have what is in his Kingdom, so it's not that God is saying that you have to you know try to wriggle it out of his hands No, that's not what he's trying to say, but you know What we need to look at is that there are two great enemies that you and I face One of course, we know our enemy is you know, we wrestle against Principalities and powers. There are demonic forces that are ready to hold back What God has intended and designed for your life and for my life And so when they oppose, you know We need to fight through to take what God has is has given for us What God says is ours. What God says is yours What God has purpose and plan for you, you know, we need to be forceful militant like aggressive in our spirit To take what God has already released or what God has given to us because the enemy, you know is trying to Oppose or to stop or to fight From us receiving what God has already released it or given To us, you know, so God has intended and designed this for your life So when the enemy opposes we have to fight through to take what God says is ours But there's also another enemy and that enemy is closer to home It's just right beneath our skin and it's called our flesh Okay, so sometimes in order to experience the kingdom of God in order to receive what is in the kingdom of God in order to Receive an inherited to inherit what God said is our inheritance or what we can inherit You know, we've got to fight the enemy and this enemy is underneath Your skin and my skin and it's called a flesh, okay? Because left to itself our flesh will be so happy, you know to take us to hell But you know you and but we need to fight this enemy We need to fight our flesh, you know, we need to crucify this flesh We need to crucify the ungodly desires of our flesh in order to press into You know, all that God has Has envisioned for us and kept in store for us in order to press into that kingdom And take what God says is mine. Okay So there are these two enemies one is a demonic forces one is creating that oppressive Who opposes and also is the flesh and we need to fight these two enemies. So we need to be Aggressive in our spirit man. We need to be militant like in our spirit man and we need to Take hold of what God has already released for us So there are things that God has already given to us. He's released for us, you know, but we don't receive it It's because of these two enemies that are Stopping us from receiving it and we need to be militant like and aggressive in our spirit man to take What God has already given to us.  I'm ready to you know, pray that praise. I'm ready to You know Pray through to break through, you know, I'm willing Lord To stand as I ought to stand and you know stand in faith stand putting on my The armor of God and I'm willing to do what it takes Whether it takes to you know, declare your word or speak your promises Decreate your words speak over my situations Pray fast, you know press in Do what it takes to to press in to see that the kingdom blessings that you have already released Over my life and into my life or over my family over my work my job my vocation the course that I'm studying Or my family whatever, you know, that blessing comes into my life to inherit God what you have said that I can inherit and I'm going to do that and I'm going to be forceful I'm going to be aggressive and I I'm going to do what it takes to Um to to receive all that you have already released for me that you have already Kept in store for me and I'm going to press in so you know, we know that uh any battle that You and I face if we refuse to fight that battle We've already lost that battle by default. Okay any battle you and I refuse to fight We've already lost it so by default so many of us, you know We see uh battles in our lives and we just give up and you know through our hands up in the air and say You know, maybe I'm not going to experience the kingdom of god in this area of my life Or maybe I'm not going to see the blessing of god come through in this area of my life Maybe, you know, this is my This is what god has allotted for me. This is uh, this is what uh, uh, Is supposed to happen in my life, you know Or you can say that I cannot experience the kingdom of god in this area of my life And we can just throw up our hands without a fight And if we do that, we've already lost the battle by default in that specific area And yes, we cannot inherit or receive the blessing that god has already released for us or wants us to Inherit but sometimes, you know, we have to fight to see his kingdom Expressed in our life. Maybe it's in uh, you know in your marriage. Maybe it's your children Maybe it's your profession. Maybe it's our job our career And you know, uh, whatever it is you're saying god I know that you know, you want my marriage to be that covenant that we had made with you know With me and my spouse and with you and you know, you want marriage to be You know all this god you've envisioned this for me and I'm just praying into that I'm just pressing into that I'm just seeking after that and you know You are taking by force what god has already released and given to you in that covenant of marriage or you say, you know God, uh, I want my marriage in my home to be a place where there is righteousness Peace and joy because that is characteristic of your kingdom and I'm just going to do what it takes to present to see To till I see a breakthrough till I see this happening in my marriage in my home or you know, um You can say god I know that you've called me to be successful in my workplace in my career so that I can bear a good testimony And that that is being held for me, you know Or god, I know that you want my children to walk with you and I'm not seeing that But I'm going to do what it takes to press in god To see and to inherit to receive the blessing that you have already portion For me. So the question is, you know, uh, will you and I fight or will you and I just walk away without a Fight now if you walk away without a fight by default you've lost the battle And it's not that god has withheld a good home. It's not that god has destined your children to go to hell It's not that god is not wanting you to be, uh, you know prosperous In your workplace or your marriage to be a blessing and a joy for you, but You know, it's it's it's not that you know, but it's uh It's none of that and uh, but there are things in the kingdom that you and I have to fight for Because Jesus says the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent are the ones who will take it by force Okay, so we need to be forceful and need to take what is ours and not stop till we have taken what god has You know envisioned or has portioned uh for us Some of us can say hey the battle has been so long, you know, I'm ready to give up I mean, how long should I be standing and fighting and declaring and speaking and praying and Fasting but look at what paul says paul has an answer for us in Ephesians chapter 6 He says brethren, you know having put on the full armor of god stand Okay, so how long should I stand? It doesn't say how long but we keep standing Okay, so there are battles that you have to keep standing And sometimes it's long Battles that we need to fight so just keep standing because as you continue to engage the enemy Whether it is the the principalities and powers and forces of darkness and Satan or whether it's your flesh as you continue to stand and fight and Do what it takes, uh, you know to fight your battle You know, you will ultimately win because the battle always belongs to the lord amen. Okay, so Might be a long battle, but we just have to continue standing and Fighting so there's a rem of god's kingdom where god requires you and me to be Childlike, but there's also rem in god's kingdom that god requires us to be warrior like To be warrior like in the spirit He requires you and me to keep fighting And he requires you and me to have done all to stand and to keep standing and to keep fighting Okay, so there is a kingdom mandate on our life And if you want to see the kingdom of god in the areas of your life and my life, you know We have to press in to the kingdom and you know And even as we pursue or press into the kingdom There are a few things that are mentioned here that will help us to really fulfill This mandate. Okay. So the first thing is, you know We must just bring everything In subjection everything in our life in subjection to the king. Okay, so even as God wants us to fulfill his mandate, you know There are some things that will really help us to fulfill the mandate that he has over a life The first thing is that we need to bring every area in our life to the submission to the king But you're saying god everything in my life is about you. It's about your kingdom So god's kingdom has to become That pearl of great price in our lives. It has to become that treasure in that field We're willing to leave everything just go by that field to get that treasure And you know, it should be like that nothing less. So the king and his kingdom Should consume us where we are saying god I'm ready to give up everything else just to pursue your kingdom or we're saying lord for me Your kingdom is that treasure in that field God in your kingdom is The treasure where I will just leave everything and I will just go after your kingdom So everything in our lives must now be focused or centered around the kingdom of god And jesus said in matthew chapter 6 6 speak he first the kingdom of god and his righteousness And all these things will be added to You you know, we are worried about our job. We're worried about our future We're worried about our children family marriage, you know health whatever But if you could just say lord everything in my life is going to be about that kingdom Lord, I'm consumed with this kingdom. It's that pearl of great price in my life Everything is going to be about your kingdom or everything in my life is going to be upon that kingdom You know and the reason god I live is because I want to see your kingdom come And it will be done in my life. The reason I am working Um, the reason I'm studying the reason I'm doing what I'm doing or the reason why I'm in ministry or the reason why I'm parenting or the reason why I'm a spouse or a reason why I am living in the specific area The reason why I'm studying god everything is because I want to see your kingdom Come and everything in my world God would just be centered and focus around that will be centered and focus Around seeing your kingdom come and y'all will be done So that's when we start fulfilling our kingdom Mandate when we submit and surrender Every area of our life and the kingdom becomes top most importance and priority like that pearl of great price And that field with the hidden Treasure now, you know the question is can we do that in our lives? Can we say god everything in my life from this day forward is going to be about just your kingdom Seeing your kingdom come you will be Done and you know just saying god I want everything to have That i'm doing in my life to have meaning for that kingdom And everything that i'm doing in my life or i'm being Or the way i'm living is for the extension of that kingdom or for the stake of the kingdom of God, okay, even if you're studying, you know, say god I want to position myself in such a place where I can You know do something for your kingdom or in your job You can say god in my job I want to make a difference for the kingdom and everything about that kingdom So everything is going to be about the kingdom or the place where i'm living replace me in this uh neighborhood god everything that you know, i'm I'm doing or we're living here Everything is to make a difference for your kingdom. It's about your kingdom.  We are that seed You and I are that believe in You know that god has placed in our neighborhood in the apartment complex Whichever city town, you know The place of work that we are in wherever god has placed us You know, he wants his influence to come in and through us He wants to unleash his kingdom influence his kingdom power his kingdom authority in and Through us so part of The kingdom mandate is when we say god helped me to be an influence In my world in the world that you have placed me in my small environment in the place that you have Portion for me god helped me to be an influence So how can we be that little mustard seed? The place where you're studying the bible college or in your office or in your neighborhood or how can you be that little even? That is in that That lump or how can you be salt and light?  It's a pervasive kingdom Um, if anything is going to win it is his kingdom that is operating in and through your life and my life Okay, but he needs to release that influence in and through each one of us because we are the salt We are the light. You are the salt. You are the light.  I want to Think kingdom thinking I want to live kingdom lifestyle and I want to Live kingdom culture so that I can become an influence.  Give me some ways Give me some methods to bring about the kingdom of god into my sphere of influence and The invasion of god's kingdom in the hearts and lives of this people So the first thing to do to fulfill the kingdom mandate is to be submissive and totally Surrender every area of our lives to king and his kingdom The second thing is, you know, the kingdom of god is a pervasive kingdom. It can Influence so we need to be an influencer wherever god has placed us And the next thing is, you know, we need to bring about kingdom advancement Um, and how do we bring about kingdom advancement is just ask god for strategic strategies to give us ways methods to bring about his Kingdom into the hearts and lives of people. So our objective, you know, is, uh, you know that We're not just being Kingdom influence wherever we are. So people see us and know, hey, we are Believers, you know, there's something powerful in us, but you know, it should become something that they are Living that they are wanting for themselves that they are also living kingdom lifestyle kingdom culture and thinking kingdom thoughts so Our objective is to see god's kingdom come into the hearts and lives of people not just for us to be You know an influencer not just for us to you know Unleash kingdom influence in the places that god has put us in But also that people that we encounter with or we live along with now they must experience the king and his kingdom, okay, so We need to show them what the kingdom of god is Like, okay, so you can say god, you know show me ways in which I can bring about invasion of your kingdom Among these people that I Live and god might give you some simple ideas Maybe it your workplace. You can start a bible study during You know lunchtime Or you can just pray with people who are going through difficult situations Difficult circumstances you can see you can see what they're going through you can just pray You know or maybe You know one day in a week you can all get off from work early go to the cafeteria Or go to a coffee day close by and just you know Have a bible study or a prayer meeting invite people In some workplaces. There are chapels so you can also You know Begin prayer there. I know many Believers in the workplace have started these things, you know Slowly start all of these things which can Build or bring about kingdom influence kingdom invasion And the kingdom of god in the lives and the hearts of people that That we encounter on a everyday basis. I like to just share A testimony that was very I was very inspired About you know, tommy kenny.  What are you saying? What more do you want me to Do and god says look at your schedule And he says that you know more than 90 percent of your time is spent in ministry to believers you know Time is spent ministering to believers who are already Christians who already know about jesus christ So says, you know, why don't you look outside the church god tells him look outside the church do something for people Outside the church and then he begins to pray about it and god moves him and since he's a writer you know, god tells him to use his writing skills and minister to the To people outside the church. So he spends time studying the book of esther and he comes out with a book called Hadassah one night with the king so he writes this novel it's a christian novel and he releases it and Soon he gets after its release. He gets a call from hollywood saying that you know one of the producers saying that he read his book and they want to make a movie And they want him to come so imagine, you know, he's going to hollywood here is this revival preacher going to hollywood and Here the stormy tennie sitting in front of these movie superstars and teaching them From the book of esther and telling them what esther is all about so You know, what a strategy, you know, um They would never call a preacher. They would not call a revival preacher To come to them otherwise And so we just see that you know God just opened a door for him to do something in The world outside outside the christian Circle so likewise god can give us something which would just open a door So that people will want to listen to what you have to say about god and it will lead them to Believe okay, so it can be simple things but all you need to do is just ask god Say god show me how in my world how in my sphere of influence. What do you want me to do? And you know So that the door can be opened For the advancement of your kingdom in the hearts and lives of people And sure god will give you some ideas.  Okay. It's a kingdom of Power like paul says that you know My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words But with the demonstration of the spirit's power So that you might not rest on human wisdom but on god's power Okay, so here we see that paul even though You know, he was well Trained and learned man, but he depended on not on human wisdom not on all the education that he had received but on god's power Okay, so So he's saying that you know All that i've studied all the knowledge that i've received is nothing When i come to you, but it's god's power that is operating in your in my life in and through my life And that is what is you know ministering to people and bringing people out of darkness into his marvelous Light so even as the kingdom of god is within us We know that god has given us kingdom authority And his kingdom comes with power Okay, even when jesus sent out his disciples You know, he sent them out two by two in luke chapter 10 versus one and verse nine Can somebody read that please luke chapter 10 versus one and nine Can somebody read that Luke chapter 10 verse one and nine after these things the lord appointed 70 others also and send them two by two before his face Into every city and place where he himself was bought to go about to go And heal the sick there and say to them the kingdom of god has come near to you Amen, so if you see that you know, jesus gives them the authority and the power to heal the sick And when they do that to say that the kingdom of god has come and the kingdom of god is near You so even as the king that god has given us the authority and the power and the kingdom of god is in us We need to expect the manifestation of the kingdom of god Or we need to expect the power of god to be unleashed or to be released in and through our Lives, okay, just like to give an example. Um, just one of the church is a very Church that flows In the supernatural, you know, there's many science miracles and wonders happening in this church In the u.s You know, and there was a u.s veteran An elderly veteran of the u.s army, you know, he was down with cancer in his final stages of cancer Then doctor had given up and he's almost going to die And they lived in the neighboring town where this church was so his son said Dad, you know, I've heard many people saying that, you know, they've gone to this church the healing rooms in this church And they have been healed and restored. They've been cancer. So why don't you try now? This man was not somebody who believed in god.   I don't believe in prayer.  He just comes He breaks into that crowd that group and you know, he just comes and puts his hand on this This man and this man just boom falls on the ground You know, he's knocked out for the next 45 minutes And when he wakes up, he looks up and he first question he asks is who touched me, you know And they all point out to this 12 year old boy Now, obviously he can't do anything to that kid because you know, he didn't know anything But this man did go home and he when he went home, he felt a lot more better And when he went to the hospital, the doctors checked him and there was no trace of cancer in his body. It was completely gone Now the doctors kept calling him again and again 14 doctors in that hospital were shocked. How can this happen? They kept calling him again and again kept asking him a lot of questions doing a lot of investigations He got so fed up that he you know, he wrote a own brochure About details about what happened to him You know, and he said if you want any more details about how I was healed how the cancer Just slept my body, you know, this is the address of this church.  It's not your age. It's just that the kingdom of god is within You and his kingdom comes with power to fulfill the kingdom mandate that it's that is on our life So let's not think, you know, what we are how we are going to establish his kingdom, you know It's not by our efforts. It's going to be by the power of god, you know It's not about our identity. It's not about who we are. It's not about our reputation It's not about which church we are from It's not about whether you're liked or whether you are accepted by people whether people adore you or not It's not about anything but it's about his kingdom Okay, to end it all what did Jesus say, you know, when you pray He said remember to say this dying is the kingdom the power and the glory Okay, so it's all about Jesus because it is his kingdom. He is the lord of the kingdom It's not about me. It's not about my reputation. It's not about My church is not about all people's church It's not about whether you are liked or whether you are not liked or accepted by people or adored or not adored It's all about his kingdom and his kingdom mandate is on you And it's on me and we need to pray that kingdom come and do it with a perspective that You know, both the power and the glory belongs to him. Okay, so let's stop being let's stop Being worried about ourselves But let's just pursue his kingdom And what matters in the end that it is his kingdom that it is It is his power and all the glory and honor will go to him because all the glory and honor Belongs to him and him alone, but we just pursue the kingdom mandate that is on our lives and even as we do that let's just We'll totally submit and surrender to the king in everything that we do every area that's advanced the kingdom And let's walk in kingdom authority power and dominion And finally he will receive all the glory and honor. Okay So that is the last lesson Any questions anyone has? any questions Okay, so even as we have come to the end of this publication we'll start the The kingdom builders next week, but all that we learned I hope Has blessed you and please put it into a practice. Okay. Thank you everyone for joining class today Have a blessed week and live as kingdom citizens You know invading your sphere with kingdom influence and with kingdom power And he will receive all the glory and honor. God bless you. Thank you everyone


Hey everyone, good evening. Welcome to the Kellogg Hubbard Library. It's wonderful to see all of you here. Come on in. We've got a full house. This is fantastic. Welcome to the library. Welcome to Poem City, the Kellogg Hubbard Library's celebration of National Poetry Month. And we do it better than anybody else just like I just said. Thank you. Thank you. Let's also hear it for Michelle, who is part of the Poem City. We've got 450 poems up this year in 50 locations. We have 35 programs. Yes, exactly. It's a wonderful celebration of poetry. I'd like to thank our sponsors for Monhumandes, Hunger Mountain Co-op, Rootstock Publishing, and thank you to Orca for live streaming us tonight. Hello everybody. Out on the interwebs. I don't want to take up any time. I just want to welcome you and say we're very happy to have you and give it over to the poets. I want to just start by acknowledging that I think a lot of you are here because of loss. And we're going to talk about that in our experience of it, but we want it to be an experience in which we all get to breathe together, to share together, and strengthen each other together, and just acknowledge that at the beginning of our reading. When our daughter died suddenly in November of a heart attack, Tom Schmidt was one of the first people to call me and offer support, love, and a chance to talk and be together. And so it's also his idea to create this event. So I'm going to introduce Tom Schmidt, who is a former Humanities professor. He and his wife, Mary, moved to Eastmont Puglia in 2013 to be near grandsons. Since 2018, when Tom began to submit poetry, more than 50 of his poems have appeared in journals, and he has published two chapbooks, copies of which will be available in the back, enough to drink or drown in 2020, and like a metaphor, is that the right way to say it? While he shops around additional collections, his muse occasionally inspires new poems, several of which were here tonight. Thank you. Thank you for being here. In my segment, I'll offer a few poems from my first collection, Enough to Drink or Drown, which is a response to the death of my only child, Susanna, who drowned in 1997. And it's pretty intense to begin, I warn you. But I'll move from those to some more recent poems about grief, and then about companionship, hopefully offering a kind of progression. Tom, would you take it along a little closer? A little closer? Yeah. All right, how's that coming through? The Ant is an abridgment of a longer poem that contains much of what I would say about loss. In trepid pilgrim on three pairs of legs, she wandered on the sand along the shore until she found a fragment of detritus the sea had cast upon the foamy tide line toward which breakers crept ten feet away, now nine, now eight. She bore her bit of stuff around a small depression in the sand, two inches deep, up to the lip, almost, then down again, across, and so it went, while all the while the tide crept up the sand. I did not intervene. How quick the ant, but quicker still the sand, and quick enough the tide, together slowed to parable for me, a death to demonstrate a point, to teach the father of a daughter drowned as if God needed practice with cliches. I only loaned her to you for a while. She saved from all the hardship of this life.  What is the point? The point is only this. There is no point. But people simply die, like ants, one at a time by accident. Some daughters, some in icy creeks, and all too young, too soon, too suddenly, too late. They do not leave behind a tidy God with reasons for the innocence he kills. No, not the God who lurks behind the stars and drops their fragments in a haze of dust, obscuring smoke and mirror explanations. Beyond our rainbows of complexity, God's means by no means end in pots of gold, but rather ashes. Gray and crumbling down they drift, almost unseen, become the earth, inviting rain, infusing fallow souls who insistently fix weary eyes on distances from which no visions come. Hear this, my summa theologica. God does not fix, God never will explain, in this life or the next, a single pain. Into each lifted palm falls only rain, enough to drink or drown, praise or complain. Counting and the three short poems following are from a 24-sonnet series that I began to write in the months following my daughter's death. Ten thousand days remaining, more or less, almost a million times my heart will beat. I calculate this sum rather than guess. It occupies more time to be concrete. I sleep, I eat, I seek benign distraction, dull knives to mark the days until the last, the time, the hour, the final benefaction when I will know or knowing will be passed. And all the while I'll finally watch the others turn ten, sixteen, then twenty, tall and fine though, bro, her friends, and one day they'll be mothers of girls who will not stay forever nine. I count on counting to remain encumbered until the day when I am dust unnumbered. The spell just passed the dragon through the thorn's thick riot. Here was her bedroom, first door on the left. My sleeping beauty's castle lies so quiet, princess's chamber now of life bereft. A spindled, sudden prick was all it took, now throbbing silence and a film of dust, a pen, a tissue dropped, a half-read book. I cannot break the spell, and yet I must dismantle the dreamscape of her return. The story leaps ahead a hundred years, a moment kissed and all awake to learn that youth is old and not as it appears. A children's tale we've called it ever since, but oh, let it be true and soon brave prince. Almost. My child was almost rescued, they said later. She almost did not drown. Almost. Almost. A small, concessive word. Interpolator between a breath of warm air and a ghost. A little puff would be enough today for her to blow her birthday candles out. A simple breath to sweep it all away, this airless void within, this haze without. So much on such a little air depends. Tonight she floats on music and surprises, a chocolate cake, a gang of giggling friends. The scene is vapor. See, it swirls and rises, then rolls away like fog from barren coast. Yet through it I can hear her laugh. Almost. The shore. Time passes and the misty shore recedes. I drift away, float helpless on the tide. Between us only water intercedes. Your face is fading as the space grows wide. But now and then there dances on the air a fleeting shadow of your voice or touch, as light as hope, as hope is light, is prayer, to make this world of sense not hurt so much. Now in the senseless void where you should be alive in all the moments that you lost, I come to you on lines of poetry until at last this timeless sea is crossed.  Now a couple of recent poems, this one just a few weeks old. Breathing. From her marker I would look past the Monterey Pines lining the bluff to the Pacific, 50 feet below and beyond as far as the years without her. For months I visited daily. Familiar groundskeepers waved. Women on cemetery power walks looked away. I wandered the hundred acres, found six other children her age, decades gone, sometimes left a few flowers for them. Time passed, my visits became less frequent. Eventually I moved away. When I return, I sit on the grass of my own grave next to hers. I talk to her, summarize my life. Irrational, but you know, just in case. Mostly I'm silent. And that is when I notice in that mute gathering of the dead amid their unmoving monuments and markers the one constant, the one sound, the one great irony, the sea always, always breathing. This next one inspired partly by the themes of tonight's reading. Being with grief, being with grief. A boulder drops through the clouds into a pond the size of everywhere. Nearby a small robo rocks wildly, nearly capsizes. Moments later, not far away, boats near the shore nod against their moorings like cradles nudged by sleepy hands. Then are still, small white boats waiting in a thin fog under a pallid sky. The boats have no oars, for oars are words. None can row to the center of the pond to join those in trouble, nor could anyone bear to remain there. Waves will waft those unmoored boats to shore to the company of others one by one in measures of time. Those near the shore float, paint peeling, stained at the water line, gunnels worn by bumping one another, by other waves, by memories of boulders. They bob slowly on the gray water under the gray sky. Their bows reflect to form a pair of wings. The best the light can do on such a day. Carried in by the water, the newly stricken craft find among that silent company touch and something like harbour. Now and then one might hear, muffled by the fog, a faint splash in the distance, or the creak of a non-existent oar like weeping. The water holds them all. Lost is a hole in the ground next to us, a chasm never filled. But green things grow up around that empty place. So I like our third theme word, companionship, actually suggested by Scutter, because grief met companionship for me when my wife Mary entered my life shortly after my daughter died and brought into my life grown children who have since made me a grandfather. So green things have grown up around my chasm and Mary and I symbolize that by becoming engaged at Susanna's grave. So I end with a few poems about companionship. Book review. I held your hands above her tear-stained stone and in a breath between two seaborn sighs and treated you to take me for your own.  The glimmer of that summer scene is bound together with two hearts, two storied pasts within a book whose binding has proved sound. Although the cover's worn, the content lasts. It may not be a page-turner for some, but we, enamored with the author's style, expect engaging escapades to come. Apped to be guile a while, a bibliophile. Now, 20 chapters in, plots still ascending, we read between the lines, a happy ending. Close enough, bare feet on the railing, steam wisps from two cups, breeze stirs meadow waves, tousles maple tops beneath cloud shapes we could name if we looked, if we were not cosied into novels we'll trade when we finish. That's all. Just an afternoon, I'll forget. But once upon a time, long before we met, in moments I wasn't occupied with all that got in the way, I imagined this. Well, maybe the waves were blue, the trees, palms, not quite so New England-y, but still close enough. Finally, 545 Center Road is about what I observed at that address and turned into a ballad that happens to cover all three words of our theme tonight in a kind of circle. I didn't read the book, but loved the cover.  When I came here, they were already old. They waved to passers-by from garden chairs, then reached toward the other's hand to hold. The tenderness of pending loss was theirs. One day, when I drove past, he sat alone. A few more months, the house was up for sale. The lawn chairs empty, garden overgrown. No need to tell the too-familiar tale. The winter passed, the empty season turned. The sign came down, a swing set on the lawn. Another garden, old soil overturned. New songbirds in the trees, new light, new dawn. A stranger still, I paused to bless this place. The mystery of living things and who makes and unites them all in grace, in circles, overlapping me and you. It's my honor now to turn the lectern over to Miguel Fishman, whose poetry collections include Drive, 2001, At Work in the Bridal Industry, intriguing title, 2011, and most recently, Traveling, 2021. Nadell has traveled widely since 2005, living in Manhattan for 12 years, and returned to Montpelier three years ago, where she lives with her husband, Victor Rodwin, and their golden doodle, Kashi. Nadell. You can hear me? I thought I would start with these two quotes that I've been thinking about a lot. The first one is by W. H. Auden, and he said, a poem can provide a full emotional biography of a person without necessarily providing a complete chronology of their life. I think it's pretty spot-on. And this one I just found recently by John Steinbeck from East of Eden. Oh, okay, here he is. It's just awkward. Just put it near your mouth. We need to put a term in the word. This is from John Steinbeck, East of Eden. A great and lasting story is about everyone, or it will not last. The strange and foreign is not interesting. Only the deeply personal and familiar. So given our theme for this evening, I'll start with this poem from Traveling Traveling. Two Hawks, Riverside Park. In the photograph of the two hawks, the male on the higher limb of the London plane tree has a bloody shred of a bird hanging from his beak. While beneath him the female pecks at a rat's carcass splayed across a lower branch of that same tree. The rat's thin black tail underscores its transformation, the leafless tree stark against a cloudy January sky. I've carried death on my back, father, mother, one following the other until I'm bent under the weight of it. I remember as I stood by the plane tree, the male stared back, not eating, while the female continued to peck black tail feathers pointing at the camera, then seesawing as her head bent down to tear and rose up again to eat. Time, I'm waiting for you.  I walked on from the tree and forgot the dead bird, the rat, but not the hawks. This is a newest poem. My father spent a lot of time in India and I was privileged enough to go there and this poem is called Traversing My Father's Footsteps. He walked through Delhi's burgeoning market, through the Taj Mahal, through Jutown in Cochin, his dark skin that of just another human in the throng. He said the heat was a presence, the heat of food much to his liking. He could have made it his home. There were people who loved him, a dear friend named Sudip. Before she was my mother, she had dreams. Living in India, a stranger in a strange land was not one of them. She had family. Brooklyn was her home. Jutown sounded like a slur. People loved her. She had six sisters, three brothers, and aging parents all living together in one house. Her parents needed them close. The temperature in Agra is 109 degrees in the shade. My feet are drowning in my sandals. A vast column of pilgrims moves in broad steps up into Muntaz Mahal's Mosulium, shuffling the only sound. Crossing and recrossing his steps, I carry a photograph of my father. For eternity, I slip it under the minaret's locked door. And this is a longish, it's a long poem that traces some of my travels. And it's in ten short parts. And the last part talks about a person named the Kohan. And the Kohan in Judaism is a descendant of the biblical figure Aaron and his sons. He serves as a priest in the temple, and he has special honors and privileges. This poem is called Synagogues. One. Mah never left the U.S. When I tell her where we're traveling next, China, India, Hungary, she looks as though I said, I thought the moon and stars, Mah.  It will be as if I'm there too. Two. The first temple stood in Jerusalem, where the ten tribes of Israel prayed until they were banished by Nebuchadnezzar. Two. And the temple raised to the ground. It was 587 BCE. In 1945, 3,000 Jews were turned away at every port, then welcomed with nothing but their faith to Shanghai. For many years an elderly Chinese gentleman has been the caretaker and guide of the compound. We sit in the sanctuary and he tells their story. Each year, he says, the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren of those Eastern European Jews return to the synagogue for a reunion. Of those 3,000, seven families are left. He speaks in combined Yiddish, Chinese, Hebrew, and English, with a generous smile and a nod to incongruity. Four. There are 26 Jews living in Cochin, India, in a place they call Dewtown, and it isn't meant as a slur. The synagogue is laid out in blue and white tile with colored glass lanterns dangling from the ceiling. You can sit on benches along the sides. There are services once a year on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The synagogue in Budapest is ornate and brightly lit with shiny wooden pews. The many rows held the hundreds of Jews who prayed together before March 1944 when the Nazis invaded Hungary. Six. In an Orthodox synagogue in Rome, the men and women sit mechitza, separate. The women protected behind a wall of opaque white muslin they chant the same prayers with the same intensity, but this way there are no distractions. Seven. In Venice, the tiny synagogue sits in one corner of the walled ghetto in a small ancient square. Its wooden beams darkened with age. The tall locked gate is gone now. Eight. At her table in Paris, my friend says after 50 years she returned to the synagogue where she was about Mitzvah. She was the first girl in France to stand at the Bima and read that day's portion of the Torah. When I walked into the sanctuary she says I felt I'd come home. Nine. God was already there when the Baptists bought the synagogue in Cambria Heights. They kept the stained glass windows, bright blue stars of David shining on the heads of a new congregation. It was the 70s and barely a minion gathered. The old Jews gone to Hashem, the young ones wandering the world. Ten. Saturday morning services were long and boring when I was a fidgety kid in Queens. I remember mostly old men in Talasim, bobbing from side to side, dobbling. A few old women in gaudy veiled hats. At the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh, it was also a Saturday morning, October 27th, 2018. The cohen opened the ark and the gunmen opened fire. I have had, in recent years, written a lot of elegies, it seems. And this is one that I wrote for a dear friend who the book is actually dedicated to Bill Gozola. And this is called Elegy Two.  How can it be you of all the ones? How could you be gone? Your cheeks in the cold are already red. You wear your pea coat and navy beret. Yours is a whole body laugh.  We're both anxious to arrive for years. We've been writers in a close-knit group. You say, only instead of only. I chop the vegetables you assemble the morning frittata. You give savvy advice because unlike anyone else I've ever known, your words are bundled in a flannel of kindness. Years ago, laid up by a drunk driver in an ICU, your leg shattered. I wrote, I combed Vermont, and there wasn't a cannoli for you to be found. I have this cornucopia of memories, 40 years of friendship, and I'm thankful for that. But the snow is falling. It's beautiful. We'd walk downtown for sandwiches. We'd buy cream soda because the store doesn't sell Dr. Brown's cell ray. And laugh, it's such a New York deli thing. I have your stories, people with characters who have goodness in their DNA. You birthed them. That way I can't begin to miss you because the page holds you fast. This is also a new poem. It's called How It Ends. It was a universe, vast and flat, room to run from one corner to another. No hurdles to jump. The basement was dry and warm. The furnace hummed. Winter was outside when the food came today. There was no sound from upstairs. The lure, the aroma of cheese. A quick grab in and out. Run, then eat. But whatever was the way in, there was no way out. Mouse, yours is a malevolent God. Your long, thin tail curled in on itself. Skinny arms stretched out cartoonishly into a getaway. But when the metal snapped back, you froze staring down freedom. These two poems that I wanted to dedicate to a friend who isn't here, but I won't read them anyway. They're both about a trip that we took together to Turkey in 2005. The first one is Voyage Out. No one is on the beach at this hour before sunset in Ismir. The restaurants are shuttered between seasons. There are no Chinzano umbrellas and no soft cushions on Rotan loungers. The palms stand alone, but the sky is full of biblical drama in blazes of purple and gold. We're traveling in Turkey, the first trip together in a long friendship. The wind whips around my ankles in tiny pinpricks. I hold the huge bath towel around her tall figure as she changes into her bathing suit, and she does the same for me. Naked for that moment in such a country feels dangerous and delicious. But I'm too cautious even to wade into the sea. She steps fearlessly into the frigid water, plunges in, swimming back and forth beyond the breaking waves. I edge the water, watching her take on the Aegean, and this is now and then. Even then, in 2005, we were warned not to travel east to Ankara, but Istanbul was safe for two women traveling unaccompanied, two friends sailing down the Bosphorus. The changes were happening slowly, happening as we walked along with women in blue and black burkas and tourists in shorts and sneakers, their cameras bobbing over protruding bellies through the bazaar. No one took notice of us in our tank tops and long skirts. At the blue mosque, covered down to our ankles, my head swathed in yards of fabric. It was an old woman who spotted my wrist, poking out of my blue-sleeved blouse. She tapped it hard several times and scolded an angry Turkish to let me know my offense. Ten years after the photograph was taken, a sliver of moon above a blurred water taxi's lit decks, the image labeled Nadel's Evening on the Bosphorus, pops up on my computer screen. We might have traveled to a distant planet for how little freedom resides there now. It was my evening, newly single and traveling farther than I'd ever been before. In this poem, I don't think I've ever read this poem before, but I thought it might lighten the mood. It's called Travis is 45. It was a shock when I did the math, because he was 13 the night my daughter was born at home. From the moment he opened the heavy wooden doors downstairs, he must have heard the animal-like utterances issuing through every crack and crevice of the old house. He came running. Was it to save me? To the door, breathless, upstairs that wound around to our second floor flat, his wet hand on the banister. He came to collect on the daily paper a rag we loved to search through to find hysterical errors. A lazy copy editor allowed to escape. Was he even paid? It was a rainy early November evening, chilly, but the temperature in the apartment, because the wood stove was cranked, was close to 90 degrees. Childbirth is a messy business.   This is called road trip. I've heard it after a trip with friends to Cuba. Road trip. In the back seat of the red rented Renault, G and I bump along, husbands up front. They switch back and forth from driver to navigator. They've known each other since they were 15 when they met at Ecole Alsacien. Off the paved road, the dirt turns to mud, turns to chickens and goats, turns to dead ends, and we're backtracking to regain our root in the lush Cuban countryside. We pass billboards of Shea's visage, Pautria o Muerte, and Viva Fidel. When we spot President Rao's message, si se pudo, si se puede, si se pautra. The four of us talk at the same time. How do political slogans translate to the feeling Cuba is my homeland? Which we hear in the warmth of the Cubans we talk with over many dishes of rice and beans. Also, we are lost with spotty GPS and limited cell phone service. Over the past years, G's English has improved after watching Hollywood films on French TV with subtitles while my French falters with disuse. Together we land in Spanish, both having studied it in school. There, in words long ago, lived for me on the pages of textbooks. We converse in simple phrases and the sentences in the present tense where they are alive in our mouths. Read a couple of dog poems. These are actually in the voice of dogs. I hope you can get there. This is called One Dog's Story. Long before they stood over me in the whelping box and fell in love with me, runt of the litter. She dreamed. She called me from the back door, called my name, and I came running, just as I would later when she was awake. I was not the smartest four-legged in the litter. My mom, known for her intelligence and obedience, would not have been impressed with my shenanigans. Sweet as I was, I never endeared myself to him and himself loved his ducks. How could I have known? I was satisfying an urge. My dog nature in full swing that night as they pulled into the drive and there in the headlights, Armageddon, duck parts strewn everywhere, and I, the mastermind, the dead duck draped over my mouth.  Himself furious, he took a two-by-four to my back side. Every creature has a story and for years they feasted on mine. Got laughs and the gasps they craved. Clever dog to leave them so richly provided for with my tail.  From a four-legged perspective, dogs are really the best companions. Sniffing around the kitchen, there are usually no rewards. They keep a tidy house. But this evening after my humans withdrew to their eating area and I was alone, I spotted two shiny gray morsels on the arm of the sofa. Her scent on two little gems. Cookies I thought, could it be? Not soft as I took them in my mouth. They buzzed as I chomped down and broke them apart. Not tasty, not cookies. So I left them in tiny scattered pieces on the floor. Later the uproar was loud. She told me I was that word. She says when her finger points at me. They're for hearing, she says. Then the two of them said it's her fault. She had a long day. She was so tired. I got a treat before bedtime. Tastes much better. Thank you. Scudder Parker. Scudder Parker's first volume of poetry, Safe as Lightning, released in June 2020 by Rootstock Publishing, was awarded the best poetry book of 2020 by the independent publishers of New England. Scudder's poetry has appeared in numerous literary journals including Sun Magazine, Crosswinds, The Lascaux Review, Northern Woodlands, Sky Island Journal, Vermont Life, and Twickenham. His poem, The Poem of the World, was selected as a finalist in the Tom Howard-Margaret-Reed poetry contest. His second volume will be published by Kelsey Books in the winter of 2005. Please welcome Scudder Parker. So I want to welcome my fellow pickleball players and friends from Burlington. It's really nice to have Chittenden County represented in an event like this. And thank you all for being here and bringing your hearts to join ours. What I think about loss and grief is, they're never done with it. You talk about a process, but the process is helpful to understand and accept parts of it. But the work goes on. And this is a poem for my father who died a long time ago. And I'm still writing about his loss. And I'm still trying to feel the grief that I want to feel. Even now is the title. The last time you let me comfort you was not when you were resolutely starving on your cancer, gliding away from us on your swift craft of holiness. Remember that morning in your parents sprawling summer home at Sonopee where you had sailed in childhood and the tides of family tugged us in. Polio and hepatitis had scattered us. We came together early autumn to recuperate from months of separation. I come to snuggle in your bed. The phone rang. You reached to answer. The pitch of your voice changed from words beyond my hearing. You hung up slowly, seemed to remember I was there. Your grandmother died this morning, my mother, Catherine.  I held you as you cried.  And this is summer 1966 again for my father. As for the land you left, it was like an affectionate divorce done quarreling with seasons on the farm. We came back planted trees each spring faster and more orderly than they could plant themselves. The summer before you died, suddenly you only wanted to walk the boundaries of the farm. Even jobs we'd planned together, cutting poplar, planting fir, easily postponed. We looked for old ax marks, faded splotches of paint, skeletons of fence posts, barbed wire pressed to earth, by 30 years of leaves. Tracking through a cedar woods you pushed past brittle branches up a slender stream that disappeared beneath a web of roots. Suddenly a small pool at the base of giant cedars lined with black forest silt, water almost invisible, except at the center where a spring surrounded by a cone of sand surged from a channel in the rock. A few grains dancing. Kneeling on the mat of cedar needles you reached to the other bank, bridged the pool with your body, bent your head to drink where the water stirred. Then I knelt on the bank as you had. My knees found creases yours had worn there over time. Years later I learned you'd brought each of your children here the place you loved an almost perfect secrecy. This is called distance, which is when someone's dying you have to admit, I have to admit sometimes distance is what I resort to. My mother cared less and less as she got older. She casually brushed food dust off the plates, put them back on the shelf, the floor a sand of crumbs. We'd chat across the cherry coffee table, I'd pick stale nuts from the blue bowl, sip sweet cherry, take dishes to the sink, stay too long scrubbing at gray slime. She'd call, don't bother, come sit and talk with me. I'd come back and we'd repeat a conversation I thought we'd completed when I left. Distance was the place I stayed inside myself, a kind of accusation.  The voice he grew up with. This is for my mother again. Increasingly the names of things fall off like tired labels from manila folders. Lodge at the bottom of file drawers or float around the room like butterflies. This leads to lengthy explanations that are difficult to follow. You know that movie where the guy who was in this other movie. I feel a new kinship with my mother. Had dinner with friends, everyone else is full of food and conversation. I sit in awe of a painting, tackling and a clearing, aching with its solitude. Suddenly they look at me. A question has been asked. I've been turned to for an opinion. My mother's helpful whisper offers, tell him the quiche is delicious. She lives in a landscape without courtesy. It's not a terrifying place for her. She knows her husband's voice is gone. Her grandson visits. Talks about summers on the farm. How they stayed with him through all his wars. She has not spoken in weeks. As he walks out the door, she says thank you in the voice he grew up with. This is a poem for my favorite uncle in the world just the most generous and sweet person. Younger brother to my father. We are picking raspberries in the bramble tango that your carefully tended bed has become. After all those years giving, this was the place for savoring. This home you called summer. Staying there from spring to fall. You could not come this summer or the last. We phone to ask permission, your frail voice cheerful with consent. The thunderstorm gathers impulsive, strangely indecisive. We pick with familiar greed, sometimes plucked from the litter of fallen purple fruit, or pinch pink almost ripe till they release knowing we won't be back in time. We lift arches to find berry clans, pick them all at once so they stain our hands, turn back down the same path for the clever furtive ones. Strangers have already been here, trampled vines, two ash trees, a few bird oaks have moved in, even the bear may come. The rain releases just as we're done. All the time we picked, you were there with us welcoming, yes, to this place you're leaving with that other yes. This is for Susan's father, who came up with us from New York. Hadn't spent a long time in rural Vermont. Last visit, Susan rode up with her father in the ambulance. Death had visited once on Long Island, tried but failed. I'll die here, he said, but not just yet. We'd added a room with picture window right beside our woods a decade before. He told the nurse it had been built for him. Time and place he knew were his to decide. A few worn clothes, daughter pictures, faded quilt, photo of him as boy's national table tennis champion at 13, beside a trophy flashing silver guilt. His frailty, like a boxer's robe he'd put on, graceful cover for the bruise of his long fight, while he relived losses and battles won. His brothers see more gone in that terrifying cargo flight over the hump into Himalaya. Almost a child, sweet cheat, ice claimed, sigh held his loss tight. He had been a city boy, but said it felt right to be up here where it was wild or less wild if you learn to accept the dark still night. November he announced, all these tree hills are filled with empty trees. The joy of saying it in his mouth. Feeders, darting chickadees, brash jays, seed spill to squirrels, morning doves, turkeys poking through. He'd seized on chances like that in his youth. Fisher cat and owl unseen in forest brown, then present suddenly a shiver in the soul, staring back at us, no blink, no sound. Death, ordinary as a haircut, part of a hole. At meals he'd reach into his mouth, pull out a small coal of tooth, smile, place it gently with the others in the hole. I haven't written any poems for my daughter Emily, and yet the poem that I wrote her 25 years ago somehow takes on new life or death or presence. After her death. Naming God for my daughter Emily. The men I came from said none should speak God's name because its holiness would burn the tongue. At least that's the excuse they gave. The women suspecting this was just another rule to silence them ignored it. Finding many names for God using them all like the names for snow necessary to people who live in snow. The tough cartilage of rules that every generation thinks it needs to shield itself from the next was not something we could never grow between us. So neither of us is safe. You who know precisely where the sweet notes dwell can open your mouth and pluck them from the air then calmly disappear and sleep. When I start to explain the inevitable you say wait and I find myself waiting. When I tell you why I had to do a thing the way I did you look at me as if to ask whether Joy's needle has ever pierced my managed heart. Any time now you will find someone to love. You will explore his hands the sweet curve of his back the boy behind the ungainly scaffolding. He will never know what hit him only that later he woke up and has a chance to love you moment to bone.  And this is from my brother Alan who in the family default tradition became a minister late in life. The strawberries are greatly appreciated by a committee of 12 cedar wax wings who elegantly adorn the wire tomato cages. They take turns sampling the goods paws like aristocrats celebrating after a winter of wizened crab apples and sumac. An elm is thriving as its neighbors raise arms overhead twining dry branch trips in elms gesture of surrender. This tree has woven roots in compost pile and garden. I'm content to share. No porcupine for years but here's one snapping elm twigs cobbling lush leaves preoccupied as a spiky panda 30 feet above its death. Once we might have said though we still think it sometimes they just come for the food as though scorn was our entitlement but you would love this every creature of it we'd share the light gift of their presence knowing grief is not just a human muscle though you have thinned your throng of groundhogs and appreciated fence to guard your family share you'd welcome them as you would have old friends at the reception after the service after the river erupted in your brain after that long swollen silence wrapping brownies for them in a napkin slipping finger rolls into their coat pockets as helpers in the kitchen watched knowing you would approve. This is a poem that I wrote at the time that Susan's and my friend Susan's best friend died a year and a half ago and then I read it again at Emily's Service and I'm trying to come to terms with it because in some dimensions it feels utterly naive and yet what I think it says to me is that if we're going to survive we have to do it by being company with our grief and learning to live with it as a part of life so sorry if this has a preacher voice in it it's called offering why not permit ourselves to live like children still fearless in their hope mighty as tide surging in the Bay of Fundy and each time our bloom of optimism and easy confidence ebbs bring passion to our daily work the close weave of intimacy with each other and our only earth patient attentive even when dismayed clear and charitable with ourselves brave with our beloved thoughtful intelligent with those who count themselves opponents why not cultivate our taste for honesty the fierce practice of truth why not let love's ambition fuel compassion wake our imagination unleash the startle of creation astonished the conspiracy of the universe makes this life possible for us let's claim riotous irreverence hilarity at the proliferation of absurdity the litter of distraction laugh at the pompous ponderous pretentious vicious mighty recognize the numbing ravage of oppression its smoke and mirrors of inevitability remembering those it has destroyed continuing rampage dismissing its glib accusations and excuse let's remember no self-appointed power can administer forgiveness though they keep judging and then bargaining and trying let us discover who we are taking up the work of justice with ferocious and determined patience join those who seek and practice wisdom and when its voice is found its know is felt its yes awakened our community returns prisons abandoned old lives shriveled like balloons together we can build the elegance we crave let's not live in dread of suffering and grief the peril of our fragile lovely bodies even our hard-won confidence just admit how much we need each other the stitch of generosity the heal of kindness even slowly welcomed why not forsake glib dismissals learned blindnesses that stumble and bumble us into each other cheating and shrinking our days what if we stopped cowering let life astonish in its vast detail its wild creating stunning us to humility stripping us to gratitude for this wellspring earth and our companions here who needs the craving for division the wasteland of grumpy entitlement the blight and cruelty of fear feel it if we hold each other in fierce tenderness not banishing or numbing grief but sharing it welcoming our tears courageous open-hearted daring to make music in the midst of pain it may become the brave parent of our joy our bodies and our good green home joined in a vast shared dream so um I don't know do we take yes I know there are books there are books and um please buy extensively and consume vigorously um but any feedback or comments or questions if you want thank you for coming well thank you for coming John and I the pickleball players who've made it to 80 and he's already made it to 81 anything thank you so much for coming


A two-way vehicle crash in Brainerd has sent one person to the hospital and left another with unknown injuries. The call came into the Crow Wing County Sheriff's Office at 1227 this afternoon. The accident happened in the 10,000 block of Wives Road, according to Sergeant Tyler Burke with the Crow Wing County Sheriff's Office. Each vehicle was occupied by one person. One was transported to Ascension Health St. Joseph's Medical Center and the other was airlifted to an unknown location. Officials haven't released the names of the parties If you've enjoyed this segment of Lakeland News, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to Lakeland Public Television.


Are you ready to bend down? It's only about surrendering, physically bending down, emotionally bending down, conceptually bending down, not bending to the ego and its ideas that it's filling your head with that you don't have a soul, you can't connect with it, you're going to die. Why? Why? What is the need for this thing to die? Unless the time is there. And why? Why? Why can't you bend down? Isn't it beautiful to just bend down? Isn't it something powerful to do? You know what I mean?


Good morning. Welcome to morning prayer radiant city center. We're gonna be praying for the church this morning I've Ephesians 3 but before we enter into intercession We're gonna begin by blessing the heart of God and worship and I want to begin by praying Psalm 84 one of the Psalms of the sons of Korah and the first few of your Few verses that just help posture our hearts as we approach the Lord says how lovely is your tabernacle a Lord of hosts My soul longs. Yes, even faints for the courts of the Lord my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God Even the sparrow has found a home and the swallow a nest for herself where she may lay her young Even your altars.  They go from strength to strength Each one appears before God in Zion. I love this Just the beginning of the heart posture of the declaration of how lovely is your tabernacle Oh Lord of hosts. I just want to begin with that posture Sometimes we can approach his presence in his tabernacle like we're doing him a favor by showing up and and Worshiping and praying but the sons of Korah these ones who were devoted to worshiping day and night in the tabernacle They kept a posture of this is this is lovely. This is beautiful.  What a gift to have this house in this prayer room What a gift to have a worship team what a gift to have people next to me in the room singing or the live stream to be able To pray and experience the presence of God together So let's just approach him this morning with just that humility and that honor in our hearts Lord, we just say your tabernacle is lovely Lord, I love your habitation in the place your glory dwells Lord my feet hate the assembly of the wicked But I love the courts of the living God Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere. I'd rather be a doorkeeper in this house Than to prosper in the tents and the houses of the wicked but I'm grateful to be a Son this morning to be covered in the blood of Jesus to be wearing the robes of his righteousness That I can boldly approach your throne of grace knowing I can find mercy in a time of trouble That I can run into you.  It's a strong tower and I run into it And I'm saved Lord Just thank you for the gift of your presence the gift of the cross Lord that made a way for us to enter in Or the gift of the church and a place and a people Lord for your glory to rest and dwell Lord, how lovely is your house this morning? Let's just begin just declaring that with our own words and with our song It's welcoming in his presence this morning I love your presence Jesus. I love the place. You choose to put your love the place you choose to put your name I love your glory. You chose to put your Because better is one thousand elsewhere thousands elsewhere Or is this working to your spirit? But it leads you to a place that humility and surrender Into this for a few minutes as we're singing around this this chorus and this theme of what the sons of Korra brought in Psalm 84 is just it's just as a death blow to entitlements It's the death blow to the the spirit of Korra that spirit that Korra who was set apart to be a priest a minister before the Lord despised the presence and the glory of God instead he yearned for the influence of Leadership he yearned for the platform he yearned for the benefits that he got for serving you rather than a heart of humility And the earth swallowed him up as he rebelled against God's Choice and call for his life Lord, we just reject that spirit of Korra The spirit that says why why don't I have my fields and my vineyards? instead of Lord, I'm grateful to be a doorkeeper in your house I'd rather just serve and minister in the place your glory dwells than to feel entitled to Salary to feel entitled to being seen for my gifting to feel entitled to the church serving all of my needs to be entitled to What I feel like I deserve Lord, let the spirit of the sons of Korra Lord be our portion not Korra We reject the spirit of Korra and we embrace The spirit of the sons of Korra that say it's better to be a doorkeeper in your house How lovely is your tabernacle? One day with you is better than a thousand elsewhere. And so Lord we just ask Lord would you tear down our little entitlements? But all the things that we're offended at you about because we haven't gotten what we wanted Lord, we wanted a crossless path And because there's a cross and death to our self or angry and we're entitled that we Like a saph and psalm 73 we envy the wicked We envy their portion Lord, we just say it is good for me to seek the Lord whom have I in heaven But you and there's none on the earth that I desire except you Our heart and our flesh might fail, but you are the strength portion of our life forever Let's just take a moment The Holy Spirit's bringing any entitlements to our heart Just surrender them at the foot of the cross Let's look at The way that Jesus Did not embrace entitlement. He did not consider equality with God as something to be clutched on to But he laid down his life in humility put on flesh and bone He crawled upon the cross of Calvary and chose suffering and pain Instead of what he felt like he might have deserved We go the way of the cross we go the way of the sons of Korah Lord. We just repent for our entitlement We repent of our offense We repent of those little areas that we feel like we are owed something by you Or when we say just to be a doorkeeper in your house Just a tug on the hem of your robe Lord just to be near you and with you Or you're not part of the dream you are the dream or you aren't part of the benefits you are the benefits Just this past week in our richland student service. We were in worship and It just never really ended Just adoration and love songs to the Lord and this generation For the last 45 minutes of our service We went 30 minutes over and they were singing songs that they didn't grow up with they were singing holy and anointed one They were singing. I love you Lord. I exalt thee and just sense that the Lord doesn't want to move on from adoration This morning and I just felt him speak to me this morning if you're not content in adoration You'll never be content and so I just sense we can just keep lifting up love songs But I just want to pray over our hearts. So if we could put our hand on our heart this morning Lord, we just want to be satisfied in your presence Lord, we found our satisfaction other places Lord. I pray that you would satisfy the deep longings of our heart God, would you take us back to first love and would you? Would you reveal yourself again to the depths of how much you loved us first? And Lord we want to be satisfied in your presence We want you to be the one thing we desire Lord how lovely are your dwelling places Lord I pray that psalm of David would erupt in your church again one thing I've asked of the Lord that I shall seek that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life So Holy Spirit would you reveal the Son of man the Son of God like never before in Jesus name Crash over us with another wave of your glory show us Jesus high and lifted up show us Jesus upon Calvary Show us the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ Lord as we adore him Reveal a new facet that we've never seen before Rotate the prism and other angles so we see elements of your glory and wonder Show us something about the humility of Jesus that we've never seen Show us something about the meekness of Jesus that causes our hearts to explode in wonder joy and adoration Send another wave of your glory Send another wave The revelation of your emotions in your heart show us your glory sing this together Just lift your hands and declare this this is our prayer together as your church Show us the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ Show us your humility and meekness Show us your majesty and might head toward close Verse 20 and 21 now to him who was able to exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us To him be the glory and the church by Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever I'm just challenged by we pray the scripture personally all the time Lord You're able to do exceedingly abundantly all that we ask or think and We apply it to our own entitlements or finances or jobs or opportunities or our personal lives, but It's unto To him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever This is what he is able to do abundantly all that we all that we ask or think we ask and think so many things But he's wanting To work according to the power to the glory in the church to all generations forever and ever and so Let's just end with this this cry I want to just sing that we'll give you all the glory course again one more time just to clear it with everything And let's all just stand to our feet and to clear this together Even just intercessory over the church in this hour. We know we're being purified To prepare us for glory. We know we're being cleansed to be prepared for glory the Lord is touching our hip and causing us to limp as a church so that His power can be made perfect in us. So let's just declare this with everything. We give you all the glory To you be the glory in the church Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever Lord reveal the beauty of Jesus Lord even in this Advent season reveal the humility and the meekness of Jesus Reveal the slain and risen land we surrender our lives at the foot of the cross and we say You can put us anywhere. Just put your glory in us We'll serve anywhere Lord. We just want to see your beauty and who you are Jesus name sometimes good prayer meanings means talking less and Adoring more so thanks for joining with us beautiful time in the in the presence of God have an amazing day We'll be back here at noon in 6 30


On Thursday, the 26th of August, two days from now as I speak these words, a data point on a crashed Type 9 in Colonia that has been unavailable to scan since 2017 is going to unlock. To make sure you don't miss any of our videos hit like and subscribe, remember to click the bell icon and select all notifications and to help directly support this channel you can also join our Patreon via the link in the video description. Heiford's Cache, a scannable data point on a crashed Type 9 in the Colonia system originally appeared in the game in 2017. When it arrived it was originally actually bugged and couldn't be scanned. With update 6 to Elite Dangerous Odyssey the data point was finally fixed and became scannable but instead of giving material rewards or the final part of a story that began in the bubble the data point merely states that it will unlock on the 26th of August 3307. That's this Thursday. The story behind Heiford's Cache begins at two listening posts in the bubble, one in the Wasat system, the other in the Nechi system. When accessed collectively they tell the story of one commander Heiford. Heiford apparently took on a delivery job for a shadowy military organisation based in the Pleiades and doing so put a target on his back. The details are sketchy but there's a paper trail you can follow on the Elite Dangerous Wiki that talks about Heiford delivering occupied escape pods for an organisation monitoring alien encounters and technology that is performing experiments on the contained individuals. All very unpleasant. It's also speculated that the super shadowy Black Flight covert military organisation was the force attempting to hunt down Heiford and stop him from talking about what he knows or has seen. The Black Flight rumoured to be tasked with hiding evidence of Thargoid surface installations from the general public by any means necessary. Commander Heiford eventually fled to Colonia and scuttled his Type 9 on Colonia 5 EA where it and its cache of who knows what now reside. So what's going on here? Honestly, we don't know, Frontier specifically highlighted the repair of the broken data point at Heiford's cache on a live stream when Update 6 launched. It seems odd that they do that without it being important but it's not outside the realms of possibility of course. The fact that the data point is locked until a specific date would seem to imply that it's linked to an in-game event that kicks off on that date. Again it's not outside the realms of possibility but it seems odd that it would be locked off until a specific release date if it was just a text file to give the end of the story. The storyline running through the game at the moment concerns a mysterious individual calling themselves Salvation. Slightly pretentious obviously but we don't yet know who this Salvation is or what they're saving us from. Could Salvation be Heiford ready to spill the beans on what he's found out or could it be completely unrelated? All possible. If you want to follow up on this yourself be at Heiford's cache on Colonia 5 EA on Thursday after the scheduled server reboot. Give the data point a scan and see what you get. If you can't get to Colonia yourself fear not we'll be watching closely what happens and we'll report back when we know anything. Make sure you're subscribed to ensure you don't miss a thing. I've linked to some useful wiki articles in the description below for more reading on all of this if you want to get gend up but what do you think is going on here? Could Heiford be Salvation? Should we trust Salvation either way? Let us know in the comments below. That's it for now. Thanks very much for watching. If you enjoyed this video consider subscribing to the channel and maybe take a look at one of our other videos linked on screen right now.