Welcome everybody to your graduate history taster evening. My name is Andrea Yanko and I'm the subject head of history within the School of History, Religions and Philosophies and I'm also teaching modules on Chinese and gender history within the MA History Program. So the purpose of this evening is to give you a taste, right, a taster evening of what the MA History Program at Sawas is like and we made a rather last-minute decision so apologies for this if you expected a lecture on plague in Manchuria but we made a last-minute decision to change this to introduce a couple of our modules that we thought would be a better way to give you an impression of what the history program would be like than just one lecture on one particular topic. So I hope this is not a huge disappointment for everybody who's here today. So present with me this this evening is Sean Lo, who is one of our student ambassadors. We'll be happy to answer any questions you might have about the department or maybe Sawas more generally would like to be a student at Sawas and then I have a couple of colleagues and another colleague from the recruitment team and maybe I just ask everybody to briefly introduce yourselves if that's okay. I don't know, Elena would you like to start? I'm Elena Newbegin and I'm a historian of modern South Asia and more recently of education also which is what I'm teaching on in the MA. Should I pass over to Wayne? My name is Wayne Dooling and I'm an historian of Southern Africa and I teach a number of courses on Southern Africa and African history more broadly in the department. Yes, hello, my name is Lars Laman and I would have been the plague doctor tonight but I'm happy to answer questions relating to Manchuria or to the plague at any time. My special field is China especially the development of the Qing empire and the ethnicities within it, religion especially subversive popular religions and also the connections between Eastern Asia and Central Asia. My name is Jaydakura Mursail. I'm a historian of modern Middle Eastern history, a modern Middle East with a focus on the Ottoman Empire and I am also the convener of the MA history program as well. Okay, so I think Sean is not here so maybe we just move on then. So maybe just to very briefly say what we're going to do. Each of us, not each of us, not Jaydak unfortunately, but four of us will give you a very brief kind of insight into one of our MA modules. And then Jaydakura will briefly introduce what the structure of the MA history program looks like. And right, I guess during the whole kind of series of short talks I would just like to invite you to add your questions and comments that you might have in the Q&A section of this page. Sorry I'm kind of used to ask you to do this via the chat but that's not what we're doing today. So you have to use the Q&A button and please do that whenever you have a question so that we can see what concerns and issues come up as we speak. And maybe it's fine also to interrupt if that's appropriate. Did I say that? So at the end Jaydakura will then introduce the program and maybe you have more specific questions about that too. So I just basically like to start. I hope this kind of arrangement is okay with everybody and would like to start with Eleanor who's going to talk about a very new and in a way provocative module because it kind of provides a very critical approach to so as an institution itself is called colonial curricula and I hand over to you Eleanor please. Thanks Andrea. Yes so I teach an optional course on the MA history program called colonial curricula empire and education at so as and beyond and this is a course that I've developed over the last few years really from the experience of teaching at so as and I've run it now for a couple of years and it's been developed in conversation with students studying it so it's quite an interactive course and the idea behind it is to explore the historical relationship between empire and education generally but in particular through the institution you'd be studying at through so as itself. So some of you may know but some of you may not know that so as was set up in 1916 specifically to train civil servants for service in the British empire but also to work with businessmen who had links across the empire and also with missionaries and it also hosted a lot of students well some students from within the empire in London too so there's a lot of questions in so as itself what is this imperial institution doing at the heart of the colonial metropole and what does that mean today for so as and and our idea of global London also so the course looks both at the history of the institution and at the legacies of that of that history for for all of us today as we work in so as so the course is trans regional in one sense it takes so as at its heart it takes London and the institution at its heart and uses that to look out on a series of geographical sites but also to ask theoretical questions so we ask how Africa Asia and the Middle East are situated as objects of study at so as and how where and why we can engage with them differently as frameworks through which to study the world what does it mean to do that how how can we look at the regions that so as is based in and and take what we might want to call a more decolonial approach so as well as this study of history the course engages with contemporary discussions around decolonizing methodologies and the way that they're used within academia but also political debates and as Andrea said there's a provocative element to the course we ask what decolonization means how it works and and keep revisiting that term through the the duration of the course the way that the course is organized is that there are some there's an introductory session there's a session specifically on methodologies on the different kind of approaches that we can use for thinking about decolonizing but also about education itself how education works as a political tool and how each year the cohort wants to run the classroom we make collective decisions about how that space works and how we work together but then the course is organized around disciplinary basis and so we look start looking at languages we think about the the evolution of the history of discipline the evolution of the discipline of history of history of art and ideas and museums anthropology development studies and each week we look at how that discipline has evolved in relationship to empire how it works and so as specifically but we also ask what we could do to change that discipline to to contest its relationship with empire and make that discipline do something else so we ask this it's not just about reflecting on how empire makes academia a contested a racialized a racist space it's also thinking about what we can do to to contest that also um we taught that the course is taught through discussions each week it's very definitely seminar led student led in terms of the way in which the discussions work there's ideas about reflective practice that are built into each session and into the assignments too and the final piece of work that you will do in the course is um creating an output that takes what you've learned from the course to a non-academic audience so it really through several stages it's thinking about what the place of the university is and how it can engage with society more widely um to break down some of the the barriers that that are being contested with are being discussed and talked about in terms of the decolonizing debates thank you thank you oh sorry no andrea i'll pass to you sorry no it's okay thank you elena oh that was very concise and to the point i i think i had last next in my list that's okay it's last there if not maybe wane or okay i'm here yes this is um um well my course the course that i would like to introduce is called um nationhood and its alternatives and and it deals with china it's um probably asking too much to try to define everything in such a brief period of time but we'll be looking at um at the not at the gestation of china but at the gestation at the creation of the idea of china as a nation and this is something that goes beyond nationalism will also look at nationalism both in its more conservative and in its more socialist appearance but importantly we'll be looking at the um at the um the very the very stimulating intellectual environment that the late 19th century and the first especially the first half of the 20th century created in china and this is something but this is an environment where we need a a lot of materials which i've i'm not sure whether it's completely legal but i i managed to integrate them into the course and these with these materials we work both in the classroom or in the virtual classroom this year and then also in terms of projects with the individuals with individual students so with you if you want to join this course and then many of our students also continue to use similar themes that we discussed in the course for their dissertation so this is something that is worth remembering and it's structured chronologically like most history classes so we begin actually with the um imperial legacy and especially what it means for the Qing empire which is a multi-ethnic poly-ethnic empire and then we progress towards the the crisis point that the um transition to the republican era so in the late 19th and early 20th centuries and we'll look at the the different representatives of social and political power that could be at the local level that could be well representatives of peasant society at the more advanced level this could be that could be government ministers but it could also be those who interacted with them so for example western missionaries or intellectuals who had arrived from korea and from japan or from vietnam and who interacted in a number of ways and then it follows the sometimes turbulent trajectory of the republic of china with different periods of warfare but then also the intellectual intellectual debates which took place at various stages for example during the may fourth period or during the period of the anti-imperialist anti-foreign demonstrations of the 1920s then we enter the period of the war with japan and also the civil war between the um the nationalist forces and the communists and finally and this is a an aspect which i've strengthened over the past a couple of years the early peoples republic which is a perhaps surprisingly an experimental ground of different approaches towards nationalism and this is something when received with them often clashes with reality and we'll also look at the relationship between the so-called hanshanese majority and the ethnic minorities which is of course right now in the media great thank you last i mean as i said if you have questions just just write them into the q and a section and we'll be able to pick them up either now or later um wane could i invite you to to speak to your module please thank you so i teach a module called race segregation and apartheid in 20th century South Africa so it's a it's a 10 week module like all of our ma modules half a term half a year in other words um so you know it's quite quite a lot that we have to squeeze into a single term um so the course is uh quite obviously about the second half of the 20th century and it's about um you know if anybody knows anything about South Africa we'll know that of course it's you know in the kind of global in the global scheme of things it's the country that experiences the most extreme form of a legislated racial segregation anyway in the world in all of the 20th century let you know other countries of course have forms of racial discrimination too but in South Africa it's legislated and which is why South Africa becomes such you know international cause in the second half of the 20th century and there's you know there are very many different ways in which one could approach a subject like this um so one approach would be you know a strongly get an intellectual history approach which is to look at you know what what are these about race that um or racial ideology I should say what is about racial ideology that is specific or unique to South Africa that's not what this course will be doing and the course is um and the other the other way which one could approach the course of course is to look at um overwhelming to overwhelming to look at um uh the kind of nationalist struggles that emerge in opposition to apartheid and the course has some of that but in fact most of the course is about the way in which ordinary people experienced um this particular social and economic so um in fact I was struck the other day when I got to week eight of the course and I discovered this the very first time that I mentioned the African national congress which is of course the main uh the main nationalist party that emerges and I was quite proud of that fact um it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't a little conscious but that's uh that's how it ended up um as being so so what is the course about so it's about like I said it's about the way in which ordinary people uh experience daily life in apartheid South Africa so a lot of it is about the consequences of urbanization for example about the kinds of lives that people experience in an urban context and the extreme form of racial discrimination so one uh issues that my team mundane but actually fundamental to the to people's daily existence so something like housing for example forms a big and important part of the course or I should say the lack of housing and people's responses to it but issues of crime and criminal violence um one particularly interesting theme is the that of popular culture um and to look at the ways in which um people could people could express themselves in uh in the arts or in different you know artistic ways um under these conditions of extreme uh poverty and discrimination there's one course there's one week for example where we have a kind of micro study of one particular jazz track and the interesting thing about this particular jazz track is it's it's sometimes described as the song that fought apartheid and the interesting thing about it there's I think that the actual track is about uh 12 minutes long something like that but there's a one line of lyrics in it so so how does how does how does it how does the jazz track with a single line of lyrics become a song that fights apartheid so those are the sorts of things that um that interest me and I and I and I brought to try to bring to the center of the course but then also of course we do study formal politics um student resistance students upon uh student engagement with the apartheid state the nature of the police state that the apartheid state becomes uh the big uprisings of the 1970s and 1980s um and then of course South Africa in the region and the the demise of apartheid which is very much tied to decolonization elsewhere in the region and the course ends um the course ends in the 1990s. Thank you Andrea. Hey thank you Wayne um fascinating I like the one line 10 minute song sorry Kurt you have to show it to me at some point. Okay so um what you've seen so far I mean is um Eleanor's quite overarching um module that um addresses many of the issues that are in a way at the core of the institution and then some of the regional modules that we have on our program and and the final one that we would like to introduce to you is is um a module that we're running for the first time this year which is called historical perspectives on gender in Asia Africa and the Middle East so from the title you will see that it tries to bring together all the regions that we study at SOAS um and the way we're doing it and that's something we want to do more in the future um is is to bring um I mean to to co-teach this course basically to to have um in in this case four colleagues who are experts in different regions working together to explore in this case the the kind of theme of I mean the broad theme that almost includes everything really of gender in in in one module um so obviously if you're interested in the history of particular regions that's something that I think SOAS is a very good place um to come to study if you want to do that and and maybe just to highlight one thing there is also a two-year MA program with intensive language um that I kind of would like to promote a bit more we have a couple of languages that are particularly popular within that but obviously if you're interested in in if you have a strong interest in a particular region it makes sense to also think about studying the language that gives you better access to it um so what what this particular module about um gender history is about is is tend to move beyond the silos of our own specialisms in a way can can become something like that and to connect different sets of knowledges um in a way that enables multiple perspectives and a genuine alternative to to those dominant narratives and approaches that that's how I mean the western the anglo-european anglo-american kind of view in a kind of alternative that desenters and rebalances these familiar accounts and offers new insights so it's this idea of kind of SOAS as being an institution that allows you to to look at the world from a different perspective to to think in in terms that I mean basically to try to maybe change and make this place a better word or something so I'm getting too romantic about all these things um so one of the concerns of this particular module um is to to highlight gendered histories in non-western spaces before colonialism so I'm not going to tell you all the different things we cover in this course um all the four people involved in in it bring different things to it but I just wanted to give you one example and I feel a bit reluctant I have prepared a couple of slides but there's nobody else's used slides should I use a bit unsure about it but maybe I just do this and I'll share um a couple of slides I hope it will work um can you see this does it make sense so I need to go back to it doesn't work I should have practiced this before okay anyway um so many of you will be familiar with colonial accounts of widow emulation in India for example but far less with the politics of gendered space under Mughal rule so that's that's one of the things um that um one of my colleagues wants to bring into this course so if we then move to the Chinese example that I'm more familiar with um we have the custom of footbinding that has been described in many ways by foreign mostly missionary observers in the late 19th century with the effect of creating an image of China as the exotic cruel and backward other and it's only very recently that a new historiography is highlighted in highly different aspect um that sees footbinding as a form of bodily and cultural refinement alongside accomplishments in the arts and high levels of literacy and all these things were key aspects of the courtesan culture that flourished in the late 16th and early 17th century it's then interesting to see that the subsequent historical trajectory brought a form of moral orthodoxy and sexual and in many many other constraints for women in particular that does not look too different from what is often described as Victorian morality um so you you find I mean you could write the history of China in that respect as a word that was kind of discovered and then civilized by kind of western imperialism who found all these um cruel practices that um people through the unequal treaties systems of extraterritoriality wanted to protect westerners in China from but on the other hand if you take an internal perspectives and see how things were perceived by the people who were living this in their own culture you come to quite different accounts of very similar customs and um to to show you this kind of trajectory that's that's why I just wanted to um basically go through these slides so this is um talking about fluidity cultural social gender uh probably one of the most famous um courtesans of this period Liu Shi um and this shows her famously um in male attire a kind of male Taoist um rope that she used to court um the man that she married not much later who was a very famous scholar at that time um so it's kind of kind of reversing um all the the established kind of gender categories um and I'm basically trying to as I I'm realized I'm not having um I'm not going to have enough time to to tell you the entire story there's lots of really interesting aspects to it but if we move on through the history in so in this earlier period um this these courtesans I mean they're basically um elite prostitutes if you want uh but they ended up being moral icons models to be emulated by the wives and daughters of the elite in the late middle early Qing period when we move into the Qing this whole thing disappears and we get a very kind of tight moral orthodoxy uh that just tries to put women into their place and consolidate patriarchal structures uh that are then perceived to be almost the kind of basis uh social moral basis of the empire that the Qing built and this is physically manifest in in structures such as these arches that commemorate and celebrate female virtue um so it's just one example of of the things we we are talking about in in this module and I'll stop here so realize that I've taken most of the time um and hand over to to Tseida um so let me quickly share my screen so you'll have what I have is the the program structure so you can have the details on the screen um so um not uh take up much time so we'll have at least um a few minutes to discuss things um so I mean I'll just say a few things in addition um to to what my colleagues said um and these will be more like program related points um the four modules that that Eleanor large Wayne and Andrea just introduced are of course part of a much larger group of courses that are offered by the history department and also other departments as well I mean you can see on the on the screen a fuller list of course this is not really the final list um there might be still a few changes for next year but um this is a much fuller list that you can see on the on the screen and some of the most of these courses are offered by the history department but there are other courses offered by other departments like um East Asian studies near Middle East studies um that uh those courses that are historical in in uh in content and character that are added to this list and um in addition um to to those might be uh related to um one of the questions uh Cindy's questions question um earlier in the in the Q&A section and that there are also um what we call open options um that are um offered by other departments that are not necessarily historical but that might inform might be related to your um research interest or you know your um your dissertation study or generally um that that might inform your um your interest in in in general so um this is um this is just really a small sample of courses that are offered by different departments that um just to give you an idea um for the full list you can type in you can go to the SOAS web page and type in PGT open course options and you'll get the full list that each department has a set of courses that you can um you can um you can take as part of your um part of your study here at SOAS um so just to give um a bit of an idea about how you mix and match these things so you there's um the program um or programs actually there are two programs that are currently based in in the history department one is MA history and the other one is MA history with um uh with um intensive language study that uh that um that Andrea mentioned earlier um the the first of these MA history is uh it requires 180 credits in total and 60 um of that will be the dissertation the dissertation is a 10 000 word essay just relatively short it's it's an article length um study which is expectedly uh based on um primary sources it's um it's a year-long um effort really um that that produces in the end an article length um work original work um and um the um the other um a bit that's part of the um the the 180 credits is the core module that um I think Pratik um asked about um that the core module debating past crafting uh histories is a year-long course it really works as the hub for the entire cohort that it didn't work as such this year because everything was was delivered online uh but it really um serves to that purpose as well it brings the entire cohort together it meets um two or three hours per week and um it's it's a forum for discussion and um and um sharing experiences and uh to to answer Pratik's question it the the core I mean it's a 20 week seminar and it touches upon um on all main um areas of inquiry either methodologically or thematically and just to give you an idea um the seminar I mean that each week has titles like national imperial histories um Marxism and history from below post-modernism and the cultural turn world history gender sexuality in the body urban history oceanic histories the study of the archive oral history memory um and um archaeology material culture so that gives you a very expensive comprehensive idea of how you approach your topic and your your research interest um in general and apart from uh from these um you have 120 credits um sorry um 90 credits uh that that you will have to um take up as as courses and um let me just quickly go to this um to this um um sorry um that gives you a better idea that um 90 credits that you will fill up with um the the list A courses that I showed you that the courses that are offered by the history department or um others historical content and also 30 credits of um of um open um option courses and to add to that of course um there are a wide variety of taught language courses that so as which you can take um make part of your um your study coursework um in the program and um speaking of languages let me say just very a few things on the MA history intensive language program which is really the MA history program with an edit language intensive language component um and um that's um is um credit wise it's uh 350 credits and the the the dissertation and the debating pass a core module debating pass will be the same um added to it is a 45 credits intensive language study um at an overseas location which um I think is currently running only for Arabic maybe for Persian but please check back with me over the next weeks next month or so um to um to see um what languages we will be able to um run in terms of summer school um or summer abroad study um it's um practically a very similar structure as I said um I mean this is a two-year program as opposed to one-year program MA history um if if you take it as a as a full-time um study but um you can see here that the full that the total credits are divided into um two years and then um supplied with or added with that the um language intensive language study um it is part of the program um so just a quick note on the dissertation that I just mentioned um and for both of these programs it's at the core of the the study and it's kind of your um basically that they um the beacon of what you will be doing within the program um it it takes a lot of work and dedication but it's also the most rewarding part of the of the um of the study of the of the program as well where you write your own history uh you conduct research and you make often a genuine contribution um to the field of history um so I mean I guess that's all I have to say a bit rushed um but um we can just open up to questions um I guess um and um yep okay thank you Tcheta um yeah right so open up to questions I I mean I've seen there's a couple of questions that Ellen was kind enough to answer already in the chat maybe this one question about language I don't know if everybody has seen that obviously you don't have to do the two-year program in order to study a language so you'll always be able to um to pick one language module put um also in the one-year program and and you can do these at different levels so you would probably have to contact the languages and cultures department to um to get an assessment as to which of the modules that they offer would be appropriate for whatever the level of your language is and I I believe there are also many that you can start from scratch really and actually if I could just add to this um in particular if you're looking at continuing with a PhD then it might make a immense sense to start with your language training well before that date because you will need to have if you do a literary sorry if you do a PhD in history then you will need to um use sources which are likely to be very well literary rather colloquial and then secondly also quite a bit older than the language that is spoken today the language is that that are spoken today so um it makes a great sense to start during your MA studies already apologies I'm going to have to sign off just for another appointment but it's it's great to meet you all in this space and I hope just to say as well as getting in touch with Chayda do feel free to get in touch with us too if you've got any questions about courses thanks a lot okay great thank you Eleanor great um okay we have one question here maybe we can just um answer it live if that's okay so the question is can we have advisors across departments for our thesis um and I'd say in principle yes so it depends a bit on your topic but um if it's a topic that we feel or you feel we don't have enough expertise in the department um to to provide you with adequate supervision then we definitely can look into to other departments to to find um dissertation supervisors for you Chayda is that correct sorry I kind of left this to you I just realized we do have joint supervision with other departments like anthropology for instance um if if a student thinks and is to just repeat what Andrea said really um if a student thinks that she or he would benefit uh from from joint supervision um then um absolutely that's that's doable of course I mean given that um provided that the other department the other supervisor will be willing to supervise the dissertation that's absolutely doable don't know do we have more questions I mean it's also true the other way around I mean that we have close relations in a sense with colleagues in the area studies departments in particular um as as we have many students studying I mean for example Chinese studies or Middle Eastern studies South Asian studies who come to take history courses um so it's it's quite common that that we have colleagues from history supervising area studies dissertations and the other way around and some of our colleagues in area studies they are actually historians so they are already supervising topics which are closely related and if you have inter regional topics then you end up supervising them together with the other um well with the other historical supervisor yes um there is a question from Harry um if our general thesis idea doesn't have a module which links to it directly would you imagine that would have an effect on our project before dissertation supervision you don't really link to a module um you link to the supervisor and um supervisors have usually a kind of like a wider area of expertise than what they teach um so roughly um like if you know about the geographic area in a time period um then um you don't really have to have a module specifically related to it you can ask for supervision um from from from that department member and um Pritik has has a question earlier students on the MA had to choose specific regional pathways but I think um that has been discontinued now right as would we be able to combine courses from whichever regional focus um we want absolutely that's basically um abolished discontinued mainly to make things more flexible um I would I would say um I don't know if Andrea Wayne or Larsh would have thoughts on this I mean um maybe just to continue this um this bit reluctant because my husband is cooking and it's it feels like it's very noisy um but um I think it depends on your interest so we always have students who have a particular interest in a particular region so I think in that case maybe you won't find um for example enough history modules to make up an entire program in Chinese history um so in that case you you might want to to pick another module in an area status department but um this is not necessarily what we want as a history program I think that's that's what I hope to get across with kind of emphasizing this this this last module that is interregional and tries to bring all these different perspectives together but it doesn't exclude this um or kind of you still can focus on a particular region but you probably given the structure of the program and the number of history modules that you'll have to take will have to look across one particular region in order to complete the program and in my mind that's actually a good thing so so you can do both but ideally we want to have a slightly broader approach for this program. To add to what Andrea said I mean it's really helpful to look into other regions mainly because I mean the the literature from those different regions kind of feed from different historiographical traditions and that might be really helpful um for you to look at your own region um in the end I mean I guess as historians we have to focus on and we have to have a regional and time period expertise um unless you're a global historian I guess I mean still you need to have a time period um focus because just really you can't deal with the the messiveness of the um of the um sources and languages etc um so um so that that you will need anyway but um looking at different as I said different regions would really help um you um looking at your own material, own region differently. So practically short answer is um yes. So to give a concrete example if you are interested in the development of Southeast Asia um then you have to look at the role of Islam and Islam is not from Southeast Asia and the the vectors the people who bring the the teachings old and new they they come from well typically from India so you have to look at least at this and then if you look at China then you have the western regions you have Xinjiang you have other parts which are actually very closely related with western Asia and with the European peninsula. So it's um if you study if you study history at so as then the world is your oyster and you should actually enjoy it as much as possible. But actually should ask if there were any questions about the independent research you're saying? Should I say something? No I just wondered if because we're just talking about the the talk courses you know I just wondered if and we'll have questions. Yeah I mean it's not compulsory or core anymore so it's can just um it's just an optional course that it is kind of like a rehearsal with the dissertation it's it's a relatively long or like mid-length essay that you connect this time not to the supervisor but to a module and you you work on it as if you're working on the dissertations I said it can be in preparation for your dissertation but it can be taken up in any other topic as well to you know if you're interested in a particular issue and you want to explore it want to write your dissertation on a completely different topic that can be a good way to do it. Maybe just to add to it it's kind of an outgrowth of another program that we ran a couple of years ago and that we had to withdraw for several reasons which was a research MA so for example if you have an if you're thinking of continuing doing research historical research after the MA maybe want to proceed to a PhD project the independent research project also can give you an opportunity to work more and more focused on a particular kind of question or area of research and and you will have more space to pursue your individual interests rather than to have to fill up your program with taught courses I think that that was the original intention of introducing this particular module just to add to the explanation okay do we have more questions all right how early should we reach out to a supervisor for our thesis good question does anybody want to answer um I guess I mean if you have a very clear idea about what you want to maybe you can just reach out to the supervisor immediately as you arrive there's really no harm in that and we actually be happy to to discuss with you that you know that gives you extra time to to think about your course your modules and your your options outside the department and how you make your your dissertation research as I mean as strong as as strong as possible I guess so I mean there is no time you it's not no time would be too early to reach out to your supervisor and that includes the time before the term starts the university year starts I have students who write to me in May so before the summer so that they can start reading for themselves and they and others you know it really depends on your your life pattern and your plans for you know the the entire year the 18 month year and so before after you know what you're going to do in the summer after you finish your course and while you're writing your dissertation maybe you're busy so you would want to prepare for that dissertation the year before before the teaching actually starts I've had students like that so it's it's it's it can be arranged in a very individual way. Last just a spoke of the 18 month year but can I say that in general the MA is really a nine month year for the vast majority of people I mean it runs from September up to we're through to May June and there's the dissertation which is normally due in September but in terms of you know the core of the MA which is which is to say that it's a very demanding program I mean we actually you have to do an enormous amount in a very short space of time so to come back to the question about the dissertation um this to emphasize change this point the sooner the better really um there's there's no you know really it's something that should be started right at the start of the year at start of academic year I mean I've always say to students that you know the dissertation um counts for one module so in theory you should spend as much time on the dissertation as you would on any other module so you know every hour that a taught module receives should have a matching hour for the dissertation. Sorry I went to add to that I mean the dissertation is as I said it's a 10 thousand word as it's not really um that challenging overall um but you know like to to to be able to write something that you yourself will be proud of it you know and then you know happy with the research and the quality of the final um final um output it takes a lot of time and historical research um archival research research and primary sources takes a lot of time you know to find something that's good enough um that you can write your you know base your work on it you know it takes a lot of try and error and you know that the um earlier that you start uh the better and for for that reason I think contacting your supervisors as early as possible would help you with that just start with your even just the keyword searches and things like that looking around for for possible possible material so yeah the year is really quite short I mean you'll get for um for that. Okay so thank you I currently I can't see any further questions and and we're being reminded that it's um seven o'clock um so maybe we can um we can we can draw this to an end now and I'd just like to emphasise if you do have further questions um um please do um not don't hesitate to contact us you can contact uh Shaila as program convener or me as a subject or any other colleague really maybe um somebody who is working closer to the area of your particular interest um so I'm not quite sure how we can um circulate our contact details but you'll find them all on the website should be quite easy to find so please do get in touch um and maybe it just um remains to thank you all for for joining this session spreading the news and and thank you all for for joining um and right so thanks and have a nice rest of the evening I guess and hopefully see you in September and hopefully see you in September okay thank you all take care bye


Grilus bimaculatus is an emerging model organism used in various fields of biology, including behavior, neurology, physiology, and genetics. Recent advances in reverse genetics have enabled researchers to manipulate gene expression and gain insight into the functional genomics of this species. In particular, the use of CRISPR slash Cas9 has allowed for the efficient knockdown of two key proteins involved in insect melanin production and catecholamine biosynthesis, tyrosine hydroxylase, TH, and yellow, yellow-y. Knockdown of these proteins results in defective pigmentation and defective wing and leg development, respectively. Furthermore, the inheritance of the mutant alleles was observed in the F0 generation, indicating that TH and yellow-y are essential for normal development and survival of G bimaculatus. This article was authored by Yun Bai, Yuan, He, Chu Xie Shen, and others.


Hello everyone and thank you so much for being here. My name is Chanel Sears and I currently serve as the equity community and Title IX program director at Holland's University. I'm just here to say a short little intro just because President Hinton was not able to be with us today. She asked me to say some words on her behalf. Dear Holland's community members, students, visiting guests and alumni. I regret that I'm unable to be here with you today this evening. I hope that this time brings you peace, joy and affirmation. Lovingly, President Hinton. Thanks for coming to Trans Plays of Remembrance. I'm Katie Coleman. Tonight we will be having a couple of performances, a 10 minute play called Son of Apollo by Britt A. Willis, starring Jay Collier and Amy Trowell, followed by a performance of Marcia Enrita, which is written and performed by Asha Ashanti Turner and Sia Sessoms. Followed by a community conversation hosted by the Holland's University Office of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. Thank you. Son of Apollo by Britt A. Willis. Climony sits at a table next to a radio which loudly plays Ain't No Sunshine. Climony does not seem to particularly enjoy it. It's awkward. That's okay. They don't believe me. What? They don't believe me. About what? Either they don't believe he's my father. They don't believe I'm his son.  What? Well, they're just... Who cares what they think? Yeah, but no, it's not that... Simple? I know. I know that's not how being human works. Faith in turns the radio down. Tell me about my father.  Faith in turns it back down. Tell me about my father, please. Hey. Hey, son. Son, you have to let me finish. How am I supposed to get things right if you won't let me finish? I'm sorry I interrupted you. Hey, Mom, tell me about him. What's with the sudden obsession with him? Your father. Your father likes the skies. He chases away the night. He lives at the very top of the world. Those brats would suffer retinal damage if they looked at him. He sounds so cool. He's pretty cool. Do you miss him? Sometimes. Not particularly. Like I miss my father. It's best to love someone like him from a distance. Is he really my? Yes. Hell, if you don't believe me, go and ask him. He'll tell you the same. I believe you. Sorry. I believe you. Do I have reminded you of him? Sure, sometimes. Am I much like him? You aren't much like anyone but yourself. Seriously. Why are you badgering me about it? Climony turns the radio back up, then turns it back down. You worry about what they think too much. You know that's not it. You know that's not all it is. It's not so simple. It's not that easy. Nothing is. It's not fair. The world isn't fair. So it should be. I want them to know the truth. To recognize me. I wish I could be more like him. I wish I could drive his chariot across the sky, striking them with the fervor available to me. I would convince them of the truth of my existence by scorching them with it. Climony turns down the radio. That is not you. What do you know about who I am? I've been here every day. What do you know about who I am now? I know every head, hair on your head, every gesture at every circumstance. What have you needed to learn that I haven't taught you? What, you think you need a father figure now? He can't legitimize you any more than I can. He can. And I'm going to see him. He could teach me his path. My proof would be the sizzling of their skin as I blaze overhead. This vindictiveness, this toxin, these rage-filled desires will burn you alive. This is not what will make you a man. You told me to go. You said to ask him. Isn't it better? Maybe I don't know much. I know I don't know much, but isn't it better to be who you are, who you really are? Embrace your joys, your pleasures and kindnesses, and still be his expectations. Are they really you? I don't know. I don't know, but I have to see him. I have to try. When I see you, I see you running, your feet slapping against the pavement, two big shoes slipping and tripping you, your arms straight, elbows locked, hands pointed out and down, two sides of a triangle trying to touch the earth.   I love you, mom. I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. It feels like I'm losing you.  It all scares me. I know, and I'm sorry. You're right, probably. You should see him. At least get your own affirmation. Do you think he'll even see me or listen? I think he will be proud to see you, his child, his son. How do you think he'll feel? I think he will move him. You know, you are what you say you are. You don't need proof. That's how it works.  Doesn't matter what I or they or your father think. Can I know that and still need this? There's a great divide between my thoughts and my feelings. I need it. I need this. Okay. I'm gonna go now, if that's okay. Okay. I'll be home soon. I'll be here. Fine, when he turns up the radio, end of play. Everybody knew me. Before I was, I had already been. One in five children, another Hester sister. The family knew who I was, for I could be no one else in their eyes. Live large and love big. From Hartford to Boston, I lived large and loved big. Never neatly, always flamboyantly, performer at heart. To Boston. A cat, a boa constrictor. For who would I be if I were not a tornado of interest, ready to take the world? Yet smile so warmly that the pizza and oysters no longer mattered? I was friendly. I exuded beauty and charisma from every pore. Allies feared she may have been too friendly. That didn't matter to me. I wanted friends. I would win them all. November 28th, 612 p.m. A disturbance was reported. Regal was in danger. Fourth century? No, fourth century. 20.   But November 28th, 1998? All sin Massachusetts. Beth Israel Hospital. Two days before her birthday. I was pronounced dead. Cardiac arrest. For seven years, my mother called the police in Boston every day for updates on my case. In 2006, the case was reopened. After that, nothing was updated. Diana never received any calls. Diana Hester stopped calling. I would have been 58 this year. Marsha loved to wear feminine clothes as a child. It felt right. Unfortunately, other guys expressed their love for me and my femininity in less than savory ways. It was then that Marsha stopped wearing the clothes she loved the most. I moved from New Jersey to New York. $15 to my name and a bag of clothes no one else really wanted. I wanted so desperately to make it work. The P in Marsha P. Johnson stood for pay it no mind. As in pay my life, my body and my gender, no mind. Working as a sex worker was by no means glamorous. But it kept me fed and put clothes on my back. Marsha also juggled jobs as a waitress and a drag queen performer. Marsha didn't seem to mind living this way. It was all I knew. June 28, 1969. The Stonewall Inn.  I fought back. We all fought back. It's 1990 now. Marsha's fighting AIDS at home and fighting for our rights in the streets. July 6, 1992. She has found floating in the Hudson River. Head-back. And case closed. Her death was ruled a suicide. What about my death was a suicide? What about her death was unsolved? As happy as you were. As happy as we were. As happy as I was. Transphobia was always lurking around the corner. Watching, waiting, biding time until the opportunity was right. My life snuffed out just as quickly as it started. Our lives are the very foundation upon which Pride One was built. And yet? My case goes unsolved. Cold. The trail is dead. Sorry we took a few more for you. Maybe if you would have stayed in your place. Stop fighting. I'll pray for you. This sin shall pass.  Have a struggle. Stop fighting. I fought for things to change, for things to be better in somophobia. Transphobia. Racism. And police brutality that plagued me when I was alive.  But on the bright side, if it had not been for me. For me. And for every other trans person who has lost their life due to senseless acts of violence. We could not be here today.  Majoring in theater.  And many more LGBT plus trailblazers. Marsha P. Johnson. And Rita Hester. Rest in power. Would you all like to introduce yourself? Hi, I'm Katie Coleman.  Playwright and director from Chicago. Hi, I'm Julia Riegel. I'm a professor here at Holland's visiting professor in the history department. I'm a non-binary trans person and a historian. Hi, folks. My name is Justin Rogers and I am a special education paraprofessional in Southbury, Connecticut. I can necessarily know if there's a moment for a lot of people or something that crystallizes. There's a moment when, there was a moment when I knew I had to do it. I think for me, I kind of, as far back as I can remember, I knew. Like, there were no words for it. And part of, you know, education and, you know, information being available, you know, I think would have certainly saved me a lot of stress. But at that point, you know, I was a kid in the 90s. I knew what it was. Like, I knew I wanted to be a girl, but I didn't know what that was and I didn't know what that meant and I didn't know I was allowed to do it. Right, right. And then it took well into adulthood before I gave myself permission to do that. Yeah, I think I also had a sort of series of moments that happened over time, but one that really stands out to me was being, it's a very funny one. I was 20 years old and in a summer language program to learn Yiddish and I performed as part of a skit and there was a role written for a boy and the teacher was like, oh, we could rewrite it to make it a girl. And I was like, no, no, that's fine. No idea why. And someone afterwards said that they'd mistaken me for a boy when I was performing and I had this rush of feeling amazing about it. And I didn't really fully accept to myself what that meant for a long time, but it was really sort of the first moment of thinking about it. And of course it brought up all kinds of other questions for me. It was like, well, am I a boy then? Well, no, that doesn't feel right. But it did start sort of that, it opened a door I think for me, that moment of actual joy, which is I think something that's often missing in these conversations that joy can also be a trans experience. I love that a lot. I think for myself, I always go back to the quote that I actually read today from Stone Butch Blues. It was something like, I don't feel like I'm trapped into someone else's body. I just feel trapped and relatable. For me, it was one of those moments where my mother and my stepfather weren't really supportive. My senior year of high school, when I had the opportunity to live with my father, it gave me a chance to be like, I need to do this for myself and my future and really kind of freeing myself from feeling that trapped. In yourself, I'm like. Y'all are like me starting to jump in. I think something that was difficult for me kind of really back to a section of your last performance actually. I think the intersectionality between being black and also being a part of this community, you're really kind of forced to take and choose. My stepfather, when I first came out to him, he kind of was puzzled by it and he would be like, why would you want to be a black man? And it made me really self-conscious because I didn't want to be taking up a space that did not belong to me. But I felt that I was harboring, felt holding myself back from all these things. I had resentment growing in the two communities who I love the most. Unless I celebrated that intersectionality, I wasn't really honoring that, I guess, not honoring that freedom. So it felt kind of good to be able to educate my family and also to educate my friends. Coming from a different place, I really still recognize that feeling of not, a feeling like you're gonna take up space that doesn't belong to you or feeling even like you're faking it at certain times. I had a lot of doubt for a very long time and I think for me in some ways the hardest thing is that there's no real map for how to do this. It's something you have to figure out in a lot of ways on your own and navigate on your own and it can be extremely, extremely lonely at times, especially if you don't have a community or have trouble finding that community for whatever reason. That I think especially for early years for me was really, really isolating. I think the most difficult part is overwhelming transphobia and built into the structures of government. I think being trans is great and the way that our countries are aligned against us is the problem. There's a lot of things. I mean, I think that there's not just one kind of way of being trans and that it's very hackneyed answer but that if you've met one trans person you've met one trans person and we have very different experiences based on where we're coming from and the places that we live and the environments that we work, social class race, all of these things very much determine our experiences. Yeah. And even to add to that, I think knowing that we're human too and you are capable of making mistakes, I feel like there is a stereotype of when trans people have to say their pronouns and correct their pronouns and sometimes I think it's mislabeled as aggressive or you think that you're holier than that when really we're just kind of doing that as a survival for ourselves and also that we don't think that we're better or we're just trying to, well, I'm trying to really push myself further in asserting myself and my identity, if that makes sense. Sure, I mean, well, without the government, not just the government, I mean the government absolutely but the pop culture and like it's impossible to watch any sitcom from before 2017 without some kind of joke at the expense of trans people. I mean, that is, it's the culture. It's transphobia is deeply ingrained in not just American culture but many other countries' cultures as well and that stretches to the government. In the American government is not as bad as some other governments for sure. The United Kingdom, for example. Yeah, no, I'm actually from Washington state originally but I live here now at least so I can talk about living here. I've only lived here for a few months but I previously lived before this in Indiana which has pretty much nothing and I know that it meant I made all kinds of constant calculations about things like could I safely have a trans flag in my apartment if maintenance came in because I could be kicked out of housing and I was living in a more progressive city in the midst of Southern Indiana and I took the risk and I was fine but it was still something all was in the back of my mind of what situations am I safe in? Where can I take the risks? What risks are not worth taking? I've also done a lot of work and research in Poland which is its own whole other story and it's part of the reason that in a way it took me so long to come out in a professional context. I remain closeted for very many years knowing that a lot of the work I do is there. I have a lot of many colleagues there and it's just, I mean speaking of governments that are more restrictive than ours, it's really bad there. It's really, really bad and it's getting worse and that kind of fear I think is really, it's present so much. And to sort of speak about that in Connecticut, I do feel grateful that they do have some sort of program as far as like informed consent at Plain Parenthood so those who would like to partake in hormone therapy they have the access to do that. One thing I think Connecticut Laksen, well not Laksen, could work better would probably be the amount of red tape it takes to get places as far as doing my name change. So going to court and then going to the Social Security Office and then going to my birth certificate and then if you don't do one place, you can't do anything other. So it's a lot of you having to go from point A to point B and that can be really discouraging and it really stops the momentum of this is how I want to live my life because there's still places where I exist as my dead name. And in many states, you can be fired for being trans. There are I think like maybe 10 that they've passed a regulation permit that's been happening. Most states in America, you can be fired for being trans. Yeah, it was a lot. One thing for me, I worked in a K through 12 specifically middle school level and one thing that I think as you create our first GSA, we really talked about how we use language and being unbiased in our language. I know there are still students and faculty that use all right girls and boys, let's get started for the day and a lot of my students think that I'm from the south or I'm from Texas or because I keep saying y'all, which has been great here by the way, y'all say y'all everywhere, great. I feel very accepted. And just being able to change that language I think is really important because it's something that tangible that people can do and that's really important to me. Yeah, I think role models is really key and providing, making sure that people that kids and young people have, people they can look up to and also people they can talk to. People they know they can safely talk to who can relate to them and can tell them like, hey, I also lived this, I know how hard it is, you're gonna be okay. And I will say also like speaking from this perspective of someone who's gotten to do that a couple of times I'm like the providing the advice and it's like it's so rewarding and so healing also for that person. I mean, I really think it is like providing community. That's my answer to basically everything, but. Yeah, I mean, you have to know one, right? That's the quote. And in the absence of that, not banning a bunch of books in Virginia and the schools. That would help. Yeah. It's because I mean like I grew up in Tennessee and I did not know any clerical until I was in high school. It was, first of all, it was the 90s and secondly it's the culture. Like my, you are, it's just, it's in the water, right? Transphobia, homophobia, mostly homophobia at that point. Like they hadn't discovered like exactly how to be as transphobic as they could yet. They got there, don't worry. Yeah. But it's, if you don't teach children that it's wrong, they don't know that it's wrong. Any time I meet little children, like kids ask, are you a boy or a girl? Oh, I'm a girl. Okay, you know, my best friend has twins and they were like, I don't know, three or something when I came out and it was, okay. No problem whatsoever. It's the children that have already been taught to be suspicious of difference, of clearness and that does not have to be taught word for word. That is taught by actions and the environment that they grow up in. Yeah, it's like the background radiation. Yeah, exactly. To add to that, I see that every day in my job actually and the one thing that I try to do is think about is my role is advocating for my students. Not necessarily even from student versus student but also faculty and students versus students. A lot of the times, especially the K through 12, students may use different pronouns or start expressing themselves differently but when the parents don't necessarily agree, what I'm seeing in the classroom is that you use the pronouns to the student's face but when you're talking from colleague to colleague, those, all of that goes out the window and that can be really frustrated and I think that being able to advocate for those students from adult to adult, I think is absolutely necessary because you'll lose that trust because they're watching and they hear you. They're a lot smarter than I think a lot of us give us credit for. Yeah, and I think that those of us who do have any kind of power in those situations, you know, at least for me it feels like it's sort of a moral responsibility to use it where I can for, you know, especially for kids and for young people who do not have the power to stand up in those sorts of ways to, you know, be able to say like, no, I am an adult and a professional here and I'm gonna draw a line of sand. Like, yeah. Answer, or you did definitely already answer about, you know, making sure of inspecting. Having been in a lot of different academic spaces, not just here, I think one area that needs to be treated with a lot more nuance is actually how we handle pronouns because, and this is something I have experienced myself very many times, you know, you'll have people with great intentions and I wanna make that clear. I know the people who do this have wonderful intentions and I wanna honor that. We'll ask for pronouns or, you know, ask for them either in a group setting or in a public setting and I don't think there's necessarily enough consideration of the ways that that can either put people on the spot in very uncomfortable ways or even put them in danger. A lot of us use, especially, you know, people who are very young or early on in figuring these things out may use different pronouns in different circumstances and may not be comfortable using pronouns in front of an entire classroom but may want to do so one-on-one. There's a lot of sort of shades of gray to this conversation which I acknowledge is complicated and it does mean we make mistakes but I think creating more space for that sort of nuance in these discussions of like how we should handle even something as basic as introductions, you know, and honestly, often that means you just ask people as individuals in an area where they have a certain amount of privacy and also ideally don't feel trapped, you know, but yeah. Definitely, and to follow up with that, as we start the foundation of our first GSA on a middle school level, is really thinking about how we're creating the space. What I'm finding is that the space is not necessarily for providing comfort or inhaling for LGBT students but like surrounding and prioritizing the comfort of allies and what I think is concerning about that is that the focus isn't necessarily for our trans students and for our LGBT students. Fine, I co-facilitated a support group for trans students at the University of Connecticut and during my time there and me and my co-facilitator spent hours trying to find out all these educational rights and advocacy groups and trying to really turn this into a movement and then we got to the meeting and everybody just wanted to talk about their lives and that was the point, right? The point is to support each other and find different ways that we can kind of heal each other and if we're trying to, I do think there's a place for educating each other and advocacy but I think giving trans people the voice and the time to kind of talk about how those areas affect their personal lives, it kind of proves that we are human and we do have goals we want to accomplish and we do have arguments with our loved ones and but I think having that space to kind of just chat about life is absolutely necessary, not wasted time at all. I sometimes think that a lot of us have gotten, a lot of the academic world is getting on board with sort of the 101 level and now there is also a 102 and it would be great to move on to that in some ways. Of course there's plenty of people who haven't gotten the 101 yet, so yeah. Yeah, but it's not one thing that you do and then it's like it's a constant one. It's not step one, it's an ongoing process, absolutely. I mean in terms of disclosure, it's up to you. If you want to do that, that is your prerogative and it's not anyone else's business to tell you if you should or shouldn't but it's your decision as the person who is trans and dating. Yeah, I can agree more, I mean and I know it's true for myself, I think it's true for a lot of other trans people we kind of end up just dating other trans people because it's often the statist option and the place where we feel most at home because you just don't have to do a whole lot of explaining. Honestly, even though our experiences do differ widely in some cases, there's still things that you'll have in common, things that just make sense and that you can connect in that way. And it's not a sort of like an exclusion thing but it's a where do you feel at home thing, I think. To even accompany that, I think in entering different spaces, especially now at this age of social media, I'm very, very lucky to be in a long-term relationship with my partner four and a half years and prior to that, we met on Tinder and we met in these sort of spaces and one of the spaces that's always kind of made me nervous has been Grindr. It's like a specific, whatever I have the expectation and it's still something that I'm kind of working through is it's mainly from what I can tell a very cis gay male space and it makes me nervous, it does make me nervous to feel like I won't be accepted or I don't belong there for being trans and queer and it's one of those things I still think I'm working through as because what you're expecting might not be what I have to offer and being okay with that and being like, hey, I'm happy with the person I'm with and the person who I am with is gonna, the standards that I have are gonna love me for me but that's my personal own. Obviously, like you were saying, it's kind of to each your own. Find someone who can stand by you, do whatever you can and really try to find other trans people. I mean, the thing about the internet is there's a lot of problems with it but it also does mean you can start to find communities and it took me a long time to really properly learn this lesson that there's so much beauty and love to be found in that community with other trans people and that I think is really what has saved me and got me here, so yeah. And it can be hard with mitigating factors like a global pandemic. Yeah, for sure. And that is sometimes all we have is the internet and if you're a closeted kid in Tennessee in the 90s, sometimes all you have is the internet and yeah, it is. It's easy to bust on the evilness of the internet but the internet does a lot of good from marginalized people of all different kinds as well. Even to add to that, I feel like it's a lot of resources to share with that person that you might be coming out to and being like, hey, I might not have all the answers myself but here are some resources that are for the perspective of parents, loved ones who would like to know more or are just kind of figuring things out. Another thing that my therapist noted actually, she also said, have a reward for yourself afterwards. Like if you know that you're about to have a hard conversation, make sure you know that you have something else coming out on the other side. Just kind of like a nice little, whether it be like a bubble bath or just like a nice treat, something to say that like, to acknowledge like, hey, you just took a huge step. Just kind of keep your spirits up. Yeah, don't. And coming out can be fun too. Like it's scary for sure but I think it's also like, there's a high to coming out. Like to someone who you've known for a long time or like, I was a little disappointed but I didn't have anybody else to come out to because there can be like this rush. Like no matter what you, no matter what the response, you have changed your relationship with this person forever. And that can be very exciting. And it can also be really scary and it can definitely have disastrous results but not always. And I think in a lot of people's cases, mostly not. It depends really a lot on the situation of the person.  You should. But if I'm talking to a vulnerable trans kid, I'm gonna say, hey, you know, maybe remove yourself from that situation in whatever way you can, see if you can find a safe authority figure, distract yourself honestly. Like it really depends a lot of the situation and on the sort of defensive safety. Yeah, because it can, even as a cis person as well, can you can definitely make it worse for the person? Absolutely, yes. And also online. Like for example, if you have accidentally created a turf dog pile on yourself on Twitter and you have cis friends who are attacking them in their comments, that's not helpful. That only makes it worse. Yeah, ask someone before defending them. Definitely ask before defending someone. And to also kind of add to this conversation, I think if it's in, if it's a workplace setting or if it's a school setting, document it. Document it, document it, document it. Not on a work device. If you are in a workplace that has work devices, put it on another device. Because if that way, if you can report it, I would because that way, if you could at least get the training, if the administration does not fall through, I do think it's important to at least have said, like, hey, you document at this because if it ends up being a pile and it ends up being a pattern, you can kind of not only help yourself but also help those around you too. That person isn't affecting others in the future. Yeah, yes. Either way to document it. Yes, double one. Document it, yeah. You still have time. Well, you can think about it while we ask. They can think about their questions while we ask it, yeah. I got two things. My nephew and my students. My nephew was five years old. I was the first family member to visit him in Texas. He was a little peanut. And now he's five and we just got his first day, his first picture day. A photo was back. He was my sister's wedding bear. And I love this little boy so much. He calls me Uncle JJ. And it gave me such pride to even though, not even though, because you're not like despite anything. Like you're saying earlier about children, they are so chill and they're still understanding. And sometimes they'll ask questions and they'll be like, oh, okay. And then I'll keep going. And it just reminds me that there's so much hope. And if I were ever to give up or lose the fight that I have with dealing with dysphoria or depression or anxiety or X, Y, and Z, I know that the impact on this little boy would break my heart. And then two, my students, because they're so cool, they're growing up and then they're so respectful of each other in the way that they respect each other's pronoun. They call each other out. I'm not using their pronoun. And I'm just really excited to watch this next generation be able to take space for other people and be compassionate. So those are my key things. Yeah, I have a very, very similar answer actually, especially regarding students. I mean, my students here are obviously a little older than yours, but it just strikes me how much has changed so fast compared to, because I'm really not all that much older than they are in certain ways. And it is truly remarkable to me how fast the world has changed and how fast it is still changing and how much hope it gives me to see, not to be cheesy, but they're great.  So you know, feel good about yourselves. But yeah, and I think also having the opportunity to interact with younger trans people when the opportunity happens, I think back to this conversation I had online one day several years ago with a couple of trans people who are like, I think in their late teens or late 20s, and just explaining to them the concept of gender euphoria. So if most of you are likely have heard the term gender dysphoria before, the sort of like extreme distress and dealing with sort of mismatch between how you're perceived or how your body is and how you feel. But there is also an experience of gender euphoria, feeling like intense affirmation and joy and explaining that to them and saying like this is also part of being trans and like seeing their reaction was like knowing that I can help other people in that way, that kind of thing really for me is very helpful and sort of keeps me at it.  You don't know it yet, but it's gonna be okay. You're gonna make it. So because it's hard, everything that, I mean I ended up okay, it's, I don't know. Like there's that question, right? If you could go back in time and tell yourself, no, transition now, would you do it? Because everything that, like all the mistakes and things that I made would have led me to be a very different person now. Like I don't know if I would have a brother transition at 16, you know? Who would that person have been? It wouldn't have been me. The one thing I think I said, and I wrote this down early and I was like, ooh, that's a fire line. But the one thing I think that I would do, I would tell myself would be, do not like step on yourself to make someone else feel taller. I feel like coming out and the reaction to coming out, my parents laughed at me. And that made me kind of shrink back and I feel like I lead a very passive life now that I'm still trying to unlearn. But if I could have told myself, my like fifth grade, I wrote a whole letter to my dad saying, oh, I didn't wanna wear a dress for the first day of school. If I could go back and tell that kid, eat that same energy, I definitely would. It would save me a lot of money and a lot of therapy. Everyone, every person? Every single person, and there's not a question. From everyone in here. Well first, if you all can join me and just giving them all a round of applause for coming out. Thank you all for just sharing your stories and of course our lovely moderator for today. We really truly appreciate it and you don't know the impact that you all have had on our community just for being here and being your most authentic self. So thank you. But we will start with the questions.  That's my roommate by the way, very sick of them. Anyway, so we have mentioned, like y'all had mentioned the idea of gender euphoria a couple times and the idea of, not the idea of the choice and the, I don't know, the possibility of joy being part of the trans experience and how that should be more known. And I wanted to know if y'all felt comfortable sharing an aspect of like your life, an aspect of yourself, even an article of clothing and object, anything that gives you like gender euphoria, kind of like as a way for anyone else in the audience to kind of like get an idea of other things that they can kind of look to within their own lives or gender euphoria, if that makes sense. Okay, starting, I think first of all, it's, you know, I do also wanna say like as important and valuable as I find it as an experience, it's also something that like in a sense I feel very lucky to experience it at times, like it's not always something that's accessible and it's not something anyone should blame themselves for not experiencing. I think honestly one way I sometimes am able to feel it is just by like being for instance, out in nature in very quiet places and you know, moving around and remembering that as much as I may feel uncomfortable with my body at times, it also can do wonderful things. It can carry me out into a beautiful place and I can see beautiful things and experience those beautiful things and you know, feel big emotions about those things and that I think in itself can be very healing.  And practical shoes. I'm not very cool. I think for me, a lot of it is community and like, you know, looking around and like being in a room with a bunch of really cool trans people and thinking like, I wouldn't know any of these people if I weren't trans. I wouldn't have this experience. I wouldn't have this job. I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have, I would have been in a completely different place in my life if I weren't trans and I think that makes me feel really good in addition to tight clothing and not sensible shoes. Everyone's different. Yeah, yeah. I think for me, I was very fortunate to live on a gender inclusive floor at the University of Connecticut where I could live on a floor with people who lived their lives like me. We're also a part of the trans community and with that, I had a roommate. I'd come on my binder for the first time directly as my roommate walked in the door and they'd be like, they're gone. And to kind of like, like, burrow out for a second. Oh, it made like, it made all the steps and like, I felt like I had gained a relationship with somebody who could kind of relate and be like, oh my goodness, I'm so happy for you. It was fire, it was pretty much all I got. Hello. So my question is, how do you find out what pronouns you're comfortable with? This question a lot, because I've been through a lot of pronouns. And honestly, I just kind of tried them out. And I'm grateful that I had two things. I had the love of my friends who were support from few supporters who were willing to go with the flow and they'd be like, okay, they have them, not cool. I used they, them, their pronouns for a bit.  Another thing is Pokemon, where you can kind of, like, it's a game where you can pick different options, like different gender options. And I know it's been really helpful to some of my loved ones who are who are experimenting with she, her pronouns, or he, him pronouns. And it's been kind of nice to have like this video game and it's really interesting to put in you and this game and nobody else is involved to try out different things you might not be comfortable with or are still kind of discovering whether or not you're comfortable with. And I think there are also some tools online, actually. I don't know if this is still around, but I know a couple of years ago, at least there was a site, I think it's called the pronoun dressing room, I think, where you can even like put in your name and the pronouns are trying out and it will like have these very basic short story sort of things where it's like the name and the pronouns. And so you can kind of read it and see how it feels. If you have like, say people in your life who, you know, you feel like you can try this out with, that's the other thing I would try to do, but honestly, it's sort of a trial and error thing. Yeah, somewhere in my bookmarks. I have a whole like trans resources bookmark file for stuff like this. Other questions. How do you deal with being, I don't know, like transmask at a historically women's college? Sorry? How do you deal with being transmasked at a historically women's college? I don't know if you can help. I'm assuming this is for me. So I'm not, I don't actually consider myself transmask. I'm on binary, but I will say when I applied here, I was a little nervous. I was like, oh, I should Google this and Google, you know, Hull University, trans students. And I found the policy and I was like, well, it's not terrible. So I guess I'll see.  And so I think it's a little harder to speak to a student's experience in that sense. It is a little weird at times, but I think the thing that I have realized since arriving here is that my students haven't blanked about it. You know, I haven't had, I mean, perhaps there are exceptions out there, but I haven't experienced from students any kind of like questioning even about who I am in the classroom or, you know, what my role is here and having that level of acceptance and remembering that that is the case that people just don't even blink about it and really makes me feel more reassured. I hope that is helpful. You know, I'd be glad to talk to you more if you want at some point. Yeah, I can't quite see you out there, I'm sorry. More questions. Okay, we'll make a real round, okay? Hi, I'm also just very grateful for you all being here. It feels really good to like see trans people on stage. I'm just really happy because stuff gets crazy here. Anyway, I have two questions. The first one is I've kind of realized through doing like theater, I've been really mourning the loss of like my queer childhood and like getting to be out as a kid and maybe being like a little boy. Like I didn't really get to have experiences like that. So if you feel comfortable, like are there any ways you, if you've felt that feeling like, how do you like deal with that? How do you like deal with like mourning the loss of all the years you could have been out? Stuff like that, because that's just been really hard for me especially turning 20 this year realizing, I'm really old and I've only been out like three years. I have to leave, I'm sorry. You're, I gotta go, man. Well, I mean, 20 years is a lot of years for me at least. So that's all the ones I have. So, but then my other question is, I'm really interested in working with kids, especially in like theater and psychology. And I just wanna know like, how do you be yourself in front of kids that might have different upbringings and like might think differently of you? Like how do you stay true to yourself and also set a good example for kids that might be questioning or something like that? Sorry, I feel like I made this really awkward. I'm gonna give this back. No. No, it's like. No, we made it awkward. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, and I remember having that feeling. I mean, I definitely remember being 20. I don't know, I think one thing I think about is it wasn't that I wasn't still me as a kid because I was still me. I didn't know all of myself yet and people around me certainly didn't. But I was certainly just as weird, if not weirder than I am now. And to try to treat my past self with love, to know that I just did not have the environment I needed yet to be myself and to love who I was, I think is the best thing I've found for that. In terms of kids, I mean, you have more experience with this than I do, but my experience with most kids is they'll ask you incredibly awkward questions and you just respond to them as politely as you can and they'll just say, oh, okay. I mean, honestly, it makes me very happy whenever a little kid asks me if I'm a boy or a girl. Then their parent, it always flips out and I'm like, no, this is great. I want them asking this question. Yeah. And also the answer, I think those were two great questions. One of which is I want to let you know that there is nothing stopping you. I am, to give you a perspective, I'm 24. I still drink mad apple juice almost every day. Montretox actually, because it's a lot of sugar in apple juice and I can't do it no more. But what I can't offer is to know that there is nothing stopping you from enjoying that child to joy. If there are things you would like to do that you still like to do as a child and that makes you feel like in that head space again, there is nothing wrong with pulling up Amazon Prime and watching SpongeBob for a bit and finding things that you enjoy to give yourself that feeling, I guess. I don't want to say grieving, because I don't think there is anything that you've lost. I think it's one thing to really accept yourself for who you are and know that you can keep going and enjoying, incorporating all those things you like to do as a child now. That's definitely helped me in kind of accepting who I kind of am. Like I'm watching Bleach right now, I'm watching a lot of Shonen anime that I wish I had watched like Naruto. I'm doing a lot of different things that I think if I was a child, I really would have enjoyed. And I think as far as working with kids, I get asked a lot of different questions. And it really does depend on who you're working for. As far as the administration, like my staff and my administration do know that I'm a trans, but as far as the students, they know I belong to the LGBT community. I had a student who asked if they could guess which letter I was. And I had to politely decline, but I thanked them for thinking of me. But I say as far as theater, I think it's a great place to kind of extend yourself and kind of show them what they're capable of and kind of encourage that, if that kind of makes sense. Cool. Just checking. Perfect, I know there was a question over here. Hello.   And if there's kind of places, if you have dealt with that, that you've validated yourself through those experiences. Can I get a restating of the question? Yeah, I guess pretty much the question is, if you've experienced or seen the conversation of not being this enough within the queer community, are there kind of ways that you push back against that or ways that you've validated yourself, if that's something you've experienced firsthand? That's a necessary question. Yeah, let's talk about the answer. One of the really, I guess, crystallizing moments, there's a book called You Are Trans Enough by Mia Violet, which is great and the sentiment behind that is great. And I think that extends to all of the different flavors of queer as well.  Like, you are what you are. And you don't, I mean, I'm gonna feel baller from Britt A. Willis. Like, you don't have to prove it to anybody.  Yeah, it can be hard in the moment, but I think remembering that you are the world's leading expert on you, and no one else, no matter how loud or challenging they may be, knows better than you do about you. And, you know, honestly, sometimes leaving the situation is a good idea, but you know, also I think remembering, this is gonna sound cheesy again, but other people's opinions about who you are can't change who you are. They can hurt, I don't wanna deny that, but they can't change you. And unfortunately, I don't think that it's a constant, like, and even within the queer community.  Yeah, okay. Oh, boy. I mean, that's the thing, right? Like, it's definitely something that you're going to have to go up against. And I guess it's just, I guess it's an aphorism and all that we have to defend it, right? Yeah. Or remove yourself from the situation because so many of those people are not worth arguing with. No, especially online, just watch a puppy video. The puppies don't care. They don't know anything, nothing going on in those heads. I can have said it better myself, I really can. Perfect, we have time for two more questions. So, I was just wondering, it's like based on my own experience with this, how many, like, finding the names or like how many names did you, like, try to figure out, like, if that was the thing that you had to deal with? So the question was about names, you said? Yeah, like picking the right one, how long, how many? Like, name, name. Yeah, names. I mean, you can change your name multiple times.  I mean, there's the Starbucks thing, right?   Yeah, it's a good way to try it out, you know, just say the name, because they don't care and no one is going to judge you for maybe people pick up a few of the drinks and Starbucks all the time if you feel nervous or something like that. They call out the name, you feel how it sounds. Go get it. There's lots of ways to do it. Yeah, and I mean, I still go my birth name in most circumstances, I don't always, but, and you know, I recognize that might change someday and it's okay. I think allowing for, I think again, this is an area where having patience and love for yourself is really important, but like, it's not easy to sort of, in a sense, I think when you're trans, you have to take on all of these tasks that normally someone else does for you, like naming yourself and in a sense, like sort of become a person for yourself that normally, you know, a parent would be in a certain way and to have sort of, I guess in a way, a bit of parental love for yourself in whatever ways you can and patience. But yeah, no, it's trying it out. I have a disclaimer, this is going to sound a little bit silly. So this whole time, because I have ADHD, one of the things that I was constantly thinking was, man, I really love all of their shoes. Just amazing. Like there's not a single pair of shoes up there that I would not love to wear. And that got me thinking. Do you know of any gender expressive friendly brands or have any tips for, I guess, presenting a certain way, you know, just. I mean, there are a lot of Etsy stores run by trans people that specialize in making like gender expressive or like trans color stuff or often stuff like that. Also cannot recommend enough like looking, you know, Googling particular items of clothing and looking like attaching various trans terms to that item of clothing and then looking for a Reddit page because there are a lot of trans subreddits out there and whatever else is going on in that site, they can be very affirming places where people are actually giving legitimate advice and they will name a lot of specific brands, give specific advice and stuff like that. I've definitely done that before, like, you know, looking for where to get jeans that fit a person's shape like me. Like you go to Google and you type in, you know, usually I would type in for my purposes, even though I'm not a man, I would type in something like trans man jeans and I would find the Reddit and it's like all of these things of like, who makes jeans for someone who's really short? You know, essentially. Thank you Reddit. You did something useful today. Yeah. I actually had the privilege of meeting Chanel back in New York about two, three years ago, actually. And one of the places that I ended up servicing a lot or wanting to work with a lot has been the Fluid Project and they have a online store who they really cater to eliminating like the men's section, the women's section, kind of giving a section for anybody who wants to buy their clothes. And another sense, something about these shoes are these are from the children's section. That's true. Yes. I can point out that if for myself, I feel like I felt really weird putting on men's clothing because I always felt like it didn't fit the way it was supposed to. And that can be really crushing in the moment. But shopping in the kid's section. And the clothes are cheaper. Yes, the clothes are cheaper. So those are a few different like little tidbits that I think are kind of important to kind of sorry, trans families. Yeah, it's really not universally applicable, unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's really advice if you're short and skinny, unfortunately. There, yeah. Before we officially close out, I want to give you all an opportunity to say any final remarks to our audience before we officially close out anything else that you would like to add to today. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for your questions. Thank you for being curious and interested and being here just in general. And thank you to the school for providing the space. Y'all are doing incredible work out here and I really hope to see what y'all do in the future. Yeah, and I also wanted to say thank you to the performers tonight. Those really, really impactful performances and thank you to all the hauls and to everyone here. It's been really great. Thank you all. I'm not gonna drag it out. There are also some resources outside, so feel free to grab that. And then tomorrow, Saga is hosting an individual event at the chapel, right outside of the chapel at 7 p.m. tomorrow. So please join us tomorrow as we honor the lives that have been lost and trans lives that have been lost if you are able to. So thank you.


Heart rate variability, HRV, consists of changes in the time intervals between consecutive heartbeats called interbeat intervals, IBI's, the oscillations of a healthy heart are complex and constantly changing, which allow the cardiovascular system to rapidly adjust to sudden physical and psychological challenges to homeostasis. This article was authored by Fred Schaefer and J. P.