Great, so my name is Mark Leith. I'm a senior software development manager in Oracle I actually work in what's called the enterprise tools team in Oracle So my my responsibility is actually a tool called my SQL Enterprise Monitor, which comes with the subscription in my SQL I'm also the original developer of the Sys Schema, which is now included in 5.7 by default and because I have so much Responsibility around the monitoring tool. I also have a whole bunch of input into all of the instrumentation in the server as well So I've had a lot of input into Shaping performance schema and a lot of the the other instrumentation in the server as well So a quick Overview of what I'll talk today first why you should instrument your plugins in performance schema I think Valerie did a pretty good job of describing why a minute ago A quick look at the the interfaces that are available to actually use from performance schema itself Show a few examples of how you to take your current code in in a plug-in and push it into the instrumented interfaces And then I answer any questions before I would do that I want to get an idea of does anybody actually written a plug-in with perform a plug-in for my SQL Wow, that's more people than I expected. Some of you are actually developers on Oracle though. That's that's wrong Of any of you actually considered writing plugins for for my SQL couple So the why I People don't really realize that as my SQL has Moved on over the years. We've actually added a whole bunch of really good interfaces into the server So you hear a lot that you know, you there's not enough instrumentation I want to do firewalling and all of this kind of stuff Over the years. We've added a bunch of interfaces not just storage engines, but being able to do things like See what it's doing change it along the way block it with firewalling those kind of things We have an audit interface. We have our own audit plug-in that we have with Oracle There are other ones that are out there like the the one that Bacona has and Maria But the other thing is with that data you can do your own thing, right? I think there's there's a lot of data that you can get in the audit stream About who is doing what what kind of problems are coming up with errors those kind of things So it's a great interface That's that's probably the one that I think most people should look at or most DBAs that want to trace What's going on in their systems and I'll give an example based on the audit one today We also have full-text search Not many people use that information schema tables can be pluggable as well so you can again look at Or get a whole bunch of data from the server and expose that if you want to I've written for instance information schema tables In the past that go off and do system calls and find CPU usage and IO usage and all of that kind of stuff. It's it's not hard to write those kind of things And then replication interfaces, you know that as we've worked on things like group Replication and the like we have given interfaces into the binary log streams as well So those are things that people can I think will start to pick up and use more You know as we do integration with other big data systems You can interact interact with the binary log stream and for instance throw it over to Kafka or whatever you want to do On that side, so there's a lot of great interfaces there But as they're doing a whole bunch of work, you need to instrument them as well And if you don't do that You you saw the example from Valerie earlier Where for example rocks DB was waiting for a whole bunch of time Waiting for a mutex, right? He had to go off and use perf for that Performance schema does track mutexes and it could have shown that as well So it is essentially creating your own new black holes, right? I mean it's this is the way that I look at the the survey You know the little points of light are essentially instruments in in performance schema The the black hole is essentially, you know, you don't know what what is happening in the server That used to be a supermassive black hole before performance schema came along essentially But yeah, you should try and shrink those as much as possible So the the interfaces themselves The main interface is all in this include my SQL PSI directory It has the PSI H file, which is essentially the ABI Within that one, it's a versioned interface, but exposed as a standard interface So you use the standard interface and it calls out to the version version interfaces appropriately Shit And The first thing I'd say is go off and read this document. We've put a bunch of a bunch of work into actually Doing proper documentation in doctor doxygen format The performance schema interface is a great example of that as well. We it's probably the better Documented interface in doxygen right now So go and have a read of the that file. I mean all that That section of the manual essentially It tells you all about the the ethos of how performance schema should work and is instrumented and how it's architected in the background and Then gives you a whole bunch of info in how to use these interfaces So that that's where it start essentially The API itself is broken down into these smaller header files, so it the The main these are pretty much the main ones that you'll use as a performance or a plug-in developer So the first one is this mysql thread header file That was almost the original one that came along with 5.5. So in 5.5. We instrumented mutexes read write locks conditions File IO as well and threads themselves So if you're doing anything like creating a thread or Locking a mutex creating a mutex Anything you know with the the standard posix interface on those things in the in this in the thread Had a what we essentially do is we wrap all of those Interfaces that the standard posix interfaces with our own instrumentation, so we Call into performance schema say that we're going to start some weight whatever it may be We do the standard posix call and then we call in afterwards and say hey, I finished essentially that that's all all that these do So they create a bunch of macros if performance schema is not enabled they Basically turn into no ops and if it is enabled it turns into we'll do some instrumentation of this section of the code So if you create a thread or you know Well, a lot of plugins don't create threads, but if you do that then you'll do it through there With file IO it's all in this mysql file header Again same simple thing. So if you're doing a An open of a file or a write of a file or whatever it is you'd instead go and look in this this interface The nice thing about the file interface is actually it will end up Shrinking your code a little bit as well, and I'll talk about that in a minute's well Memory is new in 5.7. So if you're allocating memory Then use this interface so it instead of a malloc you do a mysql malloc All of those kind of things and what we'll do there is not so much track the time spent but track the overall memory that you're Allocating over over time in your plugins as well Network IO is standard stuff. So you can both socket and TCP Not a lot of plugins tend to do that, but you can do that in plugins as well Each of these they all call out to the underlying PSI and you use the PSI Interfaces through the version they be coming. So let's dream a little bit. We'll Imagine you're gonna create an audit log plug-in It's gonna log some stuff to a file Track some stats What you basically need to be able to do with that is open the file right to it in some way Maybe sync it from time to time You'll also have to have a mutex to protect the file access because you'll have multiple threads trying to do this stuff at one point in time It's a fairly simple plug-in, but just imagine that kind of plug-in and what you need to do for it. So When you come in to start doing this stuff Originally you'll start off with if you haven't or if you've written a plug-in not many of you have if you had written one You'd have something like a p-thread mutex T You'll go into an in it. You'll in it the mutex in some way But what you do with Performance schema to actually push this stuff in into performance schema is you instead use this MySQL mutex So essentially most of the posix interface you can Replace the p-thread with a MySQL and you'll be done from that perspective So you pretty much like for like change that the next line you'll see there and I hope you guys can Read that bit over there But then the next line you see there is actually given it a key So when you look at performance schema each of the instrument names They all start with something they have a category And they have their end name. That's essentially the key that you create here You create an array of those things as well You can actually do that you can in it them once with without the array But the interface allows both an array or a single one to be passed So if you have multiple mutexes you'd add them all to this array You give the the category right you see where I'm saying this Category client error that's the Generally you'd name that that your plug-in name Yeah, generally you'd that would be your plug-in name, so we'll call it client error And then we count how many Values are in that array again. You don't have to do this. You can go straight to the register But if you use an array count the number of things in the array pass it to this registration Function and the thing that I should have done here actually I missed it out is you include the minus girl thread header file as well, of course And then you go and register the the mutexes themselves That's actually calling into performance schema and saying hey I've got these mutexes you need to track them in some way you need to expose them in the instruments table to let people Turn them on or off those kind of things So once you've registered you then go off and actually in it your Your mutex like you would with p thread, but instead using my Sql So it's a fairly simple change right for the most part you're changing the the prefix of whatever you're doing and Creating some key to register it within performance schema and then registering it essentially So similar with files, but before you'd have some file pointer you'd go off and do an f open standard interface basically Error at the end of it in the audit class we log and we're going into the end of the the actual query run But if you're doing other kinds of plugins you may consider where you sit in that and how do you actually instrument the rest of the instrumentation after that basically and That's pretty much it from me any questions So the question is What if there's a lot of files if you have a lot of files that are created by your plug-in should you instrument them singly or all as well You shouldn't instrument them all singly, right? I mean the point with a lot of this stuff is to To drill down at that that little point of light right and find out in the file I o a case Who's creating the most IO if you do it all of as one file? You can't do that right you need to track it down to one file The one thing that you have to consider is we have these max counters in performance schema right max mutex Is and max files and those kind of things we set those based on our Defaults of what we need generally So one of the things that you might consider after you've done that is Increasing those max things as the defaults in the server itself You can see that they get lost right you have these performance schema xx lost counters that are in the status counters If you have the file one actually losing instrumentation, then you have to increase it So I mean there you you consider the increased buffers and everything that comes with it But never mush everything into one I wouldn't anyway right because it it hides where time is being spent again No, because bin logs are actually tracked individually as well Right if you look in the file instances table in performance schema every single bin log is there So we don't mush it all into one. It's it's a bin log event type But the instances of those are each individual bin log Okay, thanks


The McRostie Arts Center in Grand Rapids is promoting bonding time with their monthly Family Creates event. Reporter Cheryl Moore shares why parents keep coming back for this week's In Focus. The second Saturday of the month is all about family at the McRostie Arts Center in Grand Rapids. Their free Family Creates events have been going on for about a year and a half now, and it just keeps getting more and more popular as time goes by. What you're seeing is all of the kids working with their parents or guardians or what have you to accomplish the task of making an ornament, whether that's a giant snowflake or it's a mini Santa Claus. The events were created to promote interaction between family members. They work together on whatever the task of the day is, and through that process, they really get to know each other. We started talking about how it gets parents and kids to work together, and we found whether that's a really, really important process when it comes to engaging a creative community is to get parents and kids working together, interacting together, whether it's reading instructions together or really overcoming a challenge together. The activities change each month, so you never know what the challenge of the day will be. We've done anything from planting and painting flower pots to making different projects with butterflies in the summer. Parents are getting to know their kids, but it's also a great opportunity to meet other parents and their kids as well. My favorite part is just having such a fun project set up for us already, that we can come as a family and just dive in, have fun, not worry about a mess, not worry about having to set it up at home and also being able to come with friends and other people in the community. The events show no signs of stopping, and that's why McRosty is looking for new ways to keep them growing. In the future, they're planning to reach out to other artists. We're really excited to collaborate with local artists and start, I don't know, making our activities a little bit more art-centered, art-focused, and traditional-way focused as well. Reporting in Grand Rapids with this week's End Focus, Sheryl Moore, Lakeland News. If you enjoyed this segment of Lakeland News, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to Lakeland PBS.


I've just come from the hospital. The tests are in and you're pregnant. Congratulations. That's wonderful. Did you hear that, honey? Call me if I can give any help with the decision. I'll do that, doctor. Thanks very much. I know, honey. I know. I don't want to lose another baby. I couldn't bear it. We're going to lose this child. Look. First of all, the odds are 4 to 1 against there being any problem at all this time. Honey, even if the worst happened and the baby was born with no immunities this time, we're ready. I mean, immunologists like Dr. Gunther, they know how to save these children now. But how can we make a decision like that for another human being? I mean, what if... Oh, Johnny, do you think we could live with it? People in the world were meant to be parents and you and me. I've noticed that. I've noticed that. I want to believe that. Oh, I want to believe that. I'd like to say something to your wife before... I just wanted to say... ...inducts in the heat, vats closed, please. And no movement while the air settles. Anybody down there planning on having an itch, please scratch it now. Not later, please. Dr. Gunther, do we have to have all these people here? May we please clear the theater? Yes. Sorry, please try to understand. We're private people. Begin, Mrs. Ariane. It's your daddy. She was born exactly like your first son with no amenities whatsoever. But he's alive. How long does he have to stay in this? There's no way to know. Until we discover a treatment, until he develops an immune system of his own, he'll have to remain in his protected environment. You can give us some kind of a... prediction, I mean, are we talking about days or weeks or months? Years. Mr. Lubich, you may as well have it straight. We could get lucky or your son could be here with us for the remainder of his life. That little girl, I'm always looking at her. Next door. I want my baby. If you look, suppose we could devise some way of transporting him safely and we could get them to go on paying for it and manage a million and one other things we'd have to. I don't think you realize what we'd be getting ourselves into if we did bring him home. Sure, I'll catch her out of here. Okay, Toddy, throw me a nice hug. Look who's here, Toddy, it's Mommy. Surprise to see me. I can do something fun to you. I bet I can tickle you and make you giggle. Come here. Oh.  Do you? Do you really love them? Do you know how much mommy and daddy love you? How much we want you all towards now? Pick up the ambulance. Little Tod Lubic, a child who has never felt his parents touch except for the walls of this plastic bubble and who may not for years to come is finally coming home for the first time today. Doctor, please everybody, we appreciate your interest but that's exactly what we're trying to get away from. Hey, Toddy, do you have a nice ride? There you go. Yeah. Would you back up everybody please? How do you mind backing up this a little bit? Oh my, I didn't realize he was so big. Isn't he adorable? Gina, come on back here. Will you have to live in that thing for a very long time? No pictures. What is it like Mrs. Lubic? Three times now. Mr. Lubic, won't you come out again and give us a picture?  Now get out of here. Come on. Please use panels. Intercom system. Are you sure we have checked? Night night time. Come on. That's my darling. You talk to your teddy bear, okay? Mommy loves you. I'll see you in the morning. Oh, well our number's not listed. Well, we were just waiting for the proper time to say hello. I'm Pete Biggs, my wife Martha and daughter Gina. We live right next door there.  Thank you. Thank you. That's very kind of you. Please come in. There, that's good. Now put the blue one here. See if you can stack another blue one on... Oh, you're going to put it up there, huh? Honey, look who's here. The Biggs from next door have come over to welcome Todd home. Oh, look, Todd. Isn't what Daddy's going to sterilize? Come on over here, Gina. Come on, say hi to Gina. Come on. A bunch of doctors and some minister or something comes over once in a while. But no kids or anything. Oh, he has this little pet germ-free mouse, too. Don't you ever wonder what it's like in there? I mean... to be all by yourself like that. Yeah. Yeah, I know. But he's weird, you know? Like, I'm surprised he isn't looking at us right now. Every time I look up there, he's looking right at me. How are you? Task. Located on the underside of Skylab's multiple docking adapter section, the antenna is used to measure irregularities in ground temperatures and the shape of the Earth. Performing like an acrobatic team, they worked for three hours on the faulty antenna until it was finally free enough to do most of its programmed Earth scanning job. Earlier today, after the astronauts docked their command module with Skylab, they settled in their housekeeping chores. After a rest period of two hours, they had their first meal in Skylab. Monthly checkup. There's some news I think you might like to hear. Queens and check, Ernie. Oh, yeah, you're right. A doctor in Tokyo believes he may have found a treatment that might stimulate the development of the humeral and cellular antibodies. What kind of research has he done? So far, not too extensive. But by the middle of next year... Good news, Ernie. Keep me posted, will you? Really got it made, haven't you? Why didn't you say that? It doesn't get the best excuse ever devised by anybody to avoid growing up. I'm growing up, Ernie. Yes. Sometimes you're like an old man.  What does that mean? Why do you use that intercom when you don't need to? Is it to give you a feeling of power over us as if it's your way of getting back at us? You mean today, aren't you, Ernie? Yes, you're right, I am. In the beginning, do you? I mean, so why should I care about what's going on out there? Why should you care about anything that's going on out there? Because there may be a cure at any time. A doctor in Tokyo, your own body. I'm not so unhappy in here as all of you think. I'll see you, Todd. I'm on the stairway between the first and the second floor and Mr. Christian took quite a nasty couple. Todd, Mr. Doolborg called me today. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The doctor called me today. And a company back east has donated a closed circuit television system. Oh, yeah? And they want to know if you would like to use it to monitor some classes in high school. What classes? Any classes you want.  No. Honey, if it's too abrupt a step for you right now, that's okay. I didn't mean to sound as if I was pushing. You know, the one from Tokyo? Well, we haven't heard anything about him yet, honey. But there is a hematologist in Finland. I've got to think about that school thing. Now, please be excused. Say something to the class before we begin. So, if the Truman administration was the fair deal and the Kennedy administration, the New Frontier and the Johnson administration called itself the Great Society, what was the Roosevelt administration? Tom Schuster, who's making that sound? Gina Biggs? Sorry, Mr. Verster, I didn't read the chapter. This has gone far enough. Unless every one of you want to be sent down to the principal's office, you'll cut it out right now. The hospital in that small bubble. Why, uh, when did they ever carry him outside or down to the beach or something? Well, they've been suggesting it for years, but Todd won't have any part of it. He says it'll make him feel like a freak being put on display. Gina, go over to the Louvages, ask Todd if he'd like to come to the Fourth of July party at the beach. Well, why don't you just call his parents or something? I want it to come from you. Right, I'll try. Missy. Hi, Gina. Ah, it's Todd is home going up in the factory. It is open. I mean, don't germs get in? You see, behind this wall, there's lots of air vents that constantly blow out all the air so the germs won't get in. See this blind down here? I can't walk past it. No kidding. No. You mean I couldn't put my foot over that line? No.  Not even a call. Is that true? Yeah, I like that. So, when are you supposed to get out? Oh, I don't know. Keep on looking for treatments. They've been looking for them all my life. But my immunity is keep on building up and all that. So, even if they don't find a treatment you'll get out someday, right? Yeah, someday. Well, the reason I'm here is I wanted to invite you to the Fourth of July party at the beach. If you can't make it, you know, everybody will understand, but at least, you know, that we wanted you to come. I hope you can make it. The Rocks, there's an outlet over there. Could you give us a hint? Yeah, could you give us either side here? Okay, got it. I'm going to release it right now. Okay, there we go. Easy. Okay, let me get the... Honey, you want to turn the switch on? Happy Fourth of July, son. Okay, where's food? I watch you feed them every morning. And I love to watch you ride them. Ride them when you get out. Especially a boy in a... You'll be staying here in the new Laminar Airflow Center. Because of what we've learned through cases like yours, we're now treating cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy, leukemia patients, all kinds of people, young and old, who've developed immune deficiencies like yourself for one reason or another. You're selecting your roommate. Something can be arranged. Todd Lovic? Meet Roy Slater. I'll leave you two fellas to get to know each other. Life, what's happened? I sure miss a lot of things. What's the matter with you? So why are you in one of these things? The chemotherapy kills off all my immunities. Glad I got someone to talk to now. When they tried me with a couple others before, I'm sure the first one was even close to my age. I sure hope we can become friends. So many things I want to ask you. Just let me ask you one question, okay? Okay. What do you do to start liking it? You said I could ask you one question. Yo, I didn't say to answer it. My immunities are building up. I was never going to get out of here. I don't think I'd keep going on. Give myself a hooker. Buzz Aldrin visits young Todd Lovic, the boy who was grown up inside a plastic bubble. That's Todd. I want to see this. Hold on. He's coming home next week. So what? Hi, Todd.  I've been looking forward to meeting you, Todd. I hear you have the record for the longest time in a command module. Yeah, I guess so.  Thank you. Hey, you spent some time on one of these things, didn't you, right after the moon flight? Something very much like it, Todd, for several weeks. This is the loss of freedom. You know, I felt like being in a fishbowl. I know what you mean. Todd Lubic, the boy who has spent his life in a plastic bubble. No, Tom, my parents are going to be home. What is it with you and that freak? He's my next-door neighbor. We grew up together. Is anything wrong with that?  I think you're turning on to him.  How long have I lived next to him? 12 years. I've probably spoken to him maybe a dozen times at the most. Every year I got an invitation to his birthday party. And every year I went. I was the only one there. Except for his parents. It's the only time I ever saw him. Just once a year. Fourth of July. Mr. Lubic? What is it, do you know I'm in a big rush? I hear Todd's going to monitor some classes again this year. I'm rushing to get books to get at the library and supply a speaker for the store. Listen, I can do all that for you if you want. What's the catch, Jean? Well, the main thing is I feel bad about what happened and I'd like to help out and the other thing is I'm broke and I could really use the money. That's a deal. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, you want me to bring any classwork with me to school in the morning. Just have your mom leave it on the front porch and I'll pick it up on my way. Just because I want to. I suggested it.  Say what you started to say. Do you have to use that thing, it's killing my ears. Say what you started to say. I thought a lot about what happened last Fourth of July and I wanted to make it up to you somehow. When I saw your father at school today, well, well, I was going to do it for nothing. But then another part of me said, well you're not mad at me anymore? Say Mr. Brister look as old in person as he does on television. Mr.  Me too. You're never wearing anything except shorts. It's because it's so warm in here. Really Todd? I mean, when I come over, the least you can do is put on some clothes. How long has it been since you've had a shower? I can't have showers. Bad Zerm major production. You should see it takes you a couple of hours just to sterilize the water. Must stink in there. Oh no, no, you're wrong. No germs, no smell. I don't know Todd. I mean, it's just a principle of the thing, you know. Well, Hasta mañana. Despite Wilson's stand on the League of Nations, Congress had voted against the entry of the United States. America now embraced a policy of isolationism focusing her attentions inward on domestic concerns thereby pursuing a course of action which was ultimately to pave the way for World War II. For tomorrow we will read chapters four, five, and six. Turnpaper for English lit. And then I got called down to the principal's office for a nice little talking to. And then when I got your slave Todd, so don't give me orders.  Well that's how come I had to stay. The only course I have higher than a D is in art. I didn't know that, Gina. Well now you do. And you can forget about me coming over anymore since everyone else thinks I'm letting them down. The last thing I need is to get the same garbage from you. Gina, I'm sorry. Maybe I could help you.  I could teach you how to really concentrate. Do that? Sure. Hey, what's my father paying you? A dollar an hour. That's how much I charge. Gina, you can see my rates. They're right over here. Okay, it's a deal. Maybe straight down like that. Let me cheat off your paper. Of course.  I'm sorry, Mr. Birster. Where do you want to go? To the right. My right or your right? My right. There we go. There. Right in the sun. Excellent. Hey, you. What's the sudden interest in all the great outdoors? I need a tan. Need a what? A what? I need a tan. Well, look at me.  All white and everything.  Starting to look real old. Todd. Dad, it don't mean to hurt your feelings, but it's true. I mean, you never take a vacation or buy new clothes. Look at that dress, Mom. Dad, you never do anything for yourselves. Do you ever blame us for bringing you into the world? Did you have a choice? Yes. Well, do you blame yourselves? I don't blame you for anything. Honest. I love you. I love you both. Don't you know that? I mean, look, if it weren't for what you did, you would have grown up in a hospital. You know, you should hire a nurse from the hospital to take care of me. So then you can go to someplace you always wanted to go to. Dad, it would be okay. I'd love it.  Okay? I'll meet you outside. Rachel, don't forget to, uh, test the backup generator at least once a day. And if anything goes wrong, uh, don't hesitate to call us. Don't worry about it. Have a good trip. I hope we're doing the right thing so much could go wrong. Sure we are. This trip is for him too, you know. I feel like he can stand on his own two feet. You know what I think? I think part of the reason he wanted us out of the way was so that he could court his girl. Goodbye, son. No kidding. Well, thanks to you. Yeah. Hey, let's celebrate, okay? Think of something you'd like to do, something special. Sure, what are you going to do? Just walk out of there. I might. No, dummy. Just help Rachel take me outside so I can watch you. Never get you downstairs. Sure. Sure you could. Easy. Thank you. Gina, come here. Rachel, would you plug me in in the extension? When she does that, would you turn off the battery? Okay. Okay. That's it, Rachel. Excellent. Thank you. Thank you, Rachel. You can go now. Gina, ride for me, okay? Okay. Feels like flying. Gina, ride around me in a circle as close as you can, okay? But what about the cord? Well, what about the cord? You just jumped that canoe.  What about your nurse? Oh, this is the time of the day where she drinks Sherry. She'll just sit there and look at the plug. Make sure that doesn't come out. Then she'll get pleasantly bombed. So don't worry about her, okay? Okay. Just do it, Gina, okay? Get out of this thing. I don't know. I'll be back later to help you get inside, okay? Which one is he? Well, that's Tom. Bruce strives a blue Chevy. She's one you're going with? Who says I'm going with anybody? Put your face up against the plastic. What for? I did what you wanted me to do, now do it. What's this about Gina jumping over you with her horse? Oh, it's nothing. Did she tell you that? I imagined it. God, that's wicked. Listen, I got something I want to tell you. I want to go to school. Yeah.   Dr. Gunther said he'd set it up if you guys said it'd be all right. Here, look, I shot him. Last time, what's the first thing you do when you get to your home? First thing you do? First thing I do is check the backup tanks. And? And the batteries.  Just leave the driving to me. OK, listen, the builders and the fans are fine. The batteries are up at the pressure gauge on the main line. Read 75%. Then what do you do? I don't do anything. I just stay there. I get my teacher to go get you and then you take me home, right? I want you to check everything on your checklist, every break between classes. Or I'll break your arm. All right. OK. Get your current where you find it. Think of yourself as a rechargeable flashlight. Because you want them to be bright, right? Little joke, Dad. I think we should all show him how glad we are that he's here. What are you doing? I see you got yourself all plugged in. He's on the news. He looked great. This means we're brothers. 90 minutes. And then what? Then I recharge. It's what I'm doing right now. So I'm recharging. Is he a question? Yes. Do you ever feel like a visitor from outer space? Yes. Me too. Listen, Todd. We were all about to take a little walk over the football field. Would you like to come with us? No more practical jokes. You can trust us. Yeah, I think we've grown up a little since last summer. OK.  OK. When I say ready. Ready? Go. Something I've been wanting to ask you. OK. How do you feel to the bathroom? I stare at an object for a long time. Any object, right? And then I let myself sink deeper and deeper inside my brain until I find this center place that I like. Have you guys ever heard of out-of-body travel? Sure. I saw a thing about it on Twilight Zone once. It's where you can leave your body and go anywhere you want. That's right. Well, I do it all the time. Oh, yeah? Where do you go? Lots of different places. But mostly the planet that I'm from. Thermopolis. Right. Come on. Thermopolis. Thermopolis. I think it's an exchange program. You see, I was sent here, and someone from here was sent there. One day we'll be switched back again. If it weren't for this secret journal I found, I would have never known anything about it. Are you putting us on? No. Let me look inside that thing, Todd Lubich. Look at that straight face. Hey, no. I think you are from another planet. I bet you are from another planet. Hey, give me the phone. Hey, Todd. I bet you didn't know that people on Thermopolis were stronger than people on Earth. No kidding. Stronger in what way? Just stronger. Like, first I said I bet I could beat you at doing push-ups. You talking about real money or space money? I'm talking ten dollars. Ten dollars. Sounds okay to me. Let's make it the kind that you have to clap in the middle, alright? Alright? Hey, Todd. Do you think you should do this? I mean, what about your hair? Yes, I'm mad at you. From Barrison in front of your friends? No, for nearly killing yourself, trying to show off for me. Gina, I was just...  How could I ever live with that? I'm sorry, Gina. No, you're not. You don't care.  Todd, sometimes I think you want to die. Gina, I was just doing it so you'd see. See what?  Flexing your muscles? No, you'd see that I'm not a cripple.   I'm just like feeling like a hospital case.  I just want to be like a man. Someone you could care about and don't feel sorry for. I don't know what you're doing to me. I don't know if I like it at all. We were just supposed to be friends. I mean, that's all that was supposed to happen, right? I mean, can't we just leave it like that? You spent a great deal of time with your afterwards. I just wanted to know why. Paula, why are you doing this to yourself? Hello? Get the last pair of these. It's for you, sweetheart. You want to watch the sports news on Channel 3? So you can be pretty persuasive when you want to find something out. Hello? Gina, we're at the beach tomorrow. Why couldn't you have had a space sit when you were little? I never even dreamed about going out. Only about people and things coming in. You were always riding your horse in. Yeah. And then I'd get on. And we'd ride. Inside your bubble? Yeah, always inside. All my life I've wondered what it's like to be you. And all my life I always wondered what it was like to be you. That's great, Gina. Communication with a team of physicians in the Soviet Union. How soon could I leave on my own immunities? You know I can't answer that. What would happen if I left now? You're not actually considering... Would I catch something and die right away? I really don't know. You mean I might live? Yes, it's conceivable. Your body's been building up some immunities. But it's also conceivable that just a bad cold or a case of flu might kill you. I'm sorry, but we just don't know. Thank you for coming, Ernie.  I was just asking, Ernie. That's all.


Wel gynnydd toffi tio, it is the daily exit. Now not that much going on due to COVID and things like that. And this is something that was originally an idea that we said we were going to do. We kind of did it every now and again, the daily exit. But we're going to do it more like what we discussed at Facebook, which is essentially... Thanks for bringing me in the list. Essentially. Now, we did have a little look at the news stories that you brought us last night in a little bit more detail. ac seffi hwnna, ei angen i'n gweld, nedd mai eich gwiriau yn'r ddelwydd arno? Rhyw fyddai'n gweithio i'r sefydli i'r prod Glue, ar hwnna, ond dyna'n ddud yn ei bod yn gwerthchyni'r bobl sefydlwyd. Rydyn ni i ddim yn ddwy arno, dyna'r ddw i'r bobl. Rydyn ni i ddim yn ddyd yn ddwy'r bobl sefydli i'r bobl hefyd. Rydyn ni i ddim yn ddysgu deichio rydyn ni'n ddysgu'r bobl hefyd. Well, allan dwi's doing that, I'll talk about it, so last night, Peddon, the news daily, you brought us the news that Jarrod Branthwaite is very close to joining Blackburn Rovers, that's going to be confirmed any time now. So, first and foremost, is it the right thing for Everton to do to let him out now in January, because obviously he's played a couple of games this season, or one game as Nyshelf, but he's got the injury. And then, unfortunately for that, we haven't really seen anything of him since. So, is it the right decision first and foremost for you to let him go out on loan? For me it is, yeah. I'm sure Andy will be able to give us a lot more of an in-depth idea of why isn't it going. But for me, yeah, because he's been at the club a year now, he's played five Premier League games. I thought he finished the season really strong in terms of when you bring someone in from Carl, I always only played the handful of games for them. And I think we are always bemoaning the fact of what's the path for a player. Jarrod Branthwaite looks a really good player and I think physically he'll go into the championship, he shouldn't have any problem. And Black Beanner in the middle of the table, they're going to try and push for a playoff place. And for us, that's where he should be, he should be trying to play for a team, he's trying to strive and to do something that should be consequences to the games he plays in. And I think it's a perfect move for him, you know, come back at the end of six months, see where we're looking for next season, whether we put him out for another year on loan. Don't forget, he's a very young lad, so he's got time on his side, so I think it's a great move for him. Yeah Andy, I mean he's played 19 career games, so I mean a year from Carl, I don't know if he knew too much about him, he's only 18, he's not 19 till June. So, you know, for him, so we've already made his evident debut, like Petra, he premiered games before he got injured, but for you, is this a good move and you know, a good chance, further his evident, well, his football and education really? Yeah, you know, I've argued a lot in the past that like loans are probably the best way, I know obviously you've got to pick the right loans, which is an asset itself for some, I think you know we can use the good examples and the bad examples. I'll use the best example, I think, Sheamus Cullman going to Blackpool underneath Holloway when he got promoted, he chased promotion and got to the Clelfine when one. I think that was a great experience for Sheamus, because we see him before he went there, and he wasn't quite ready obviously at the horrors, Ben Feeke for example, but no, I think playing minutes in a competitive league is much better than training with the first team and then playing under 23 games with David on his way up. I think Tony Mowbrae is a good manager, he's developed some good young players, Adam Armstrong especially for Black Bay and the Striker, he's come a long, a long way since he left Newcastle. And I think it's a good move for Evan, because he's going to a competitive league, he's going to play competitive minutes and I think that's only going to improve him. And it sort of gives Evan a chance to say, well, does he need another year or after this six months is he ready? So we'll know much more about him, I think it's time. I think he's going from playing regularly, or semi-regularly, because I know he's playing only a couple of months in league too. To get a couple of games for Evan and then back into the under 23s, it's not good for a player, they need to keep stepping up the development and I think this is what Evan needs to do more often. So I'm glad Jared's going to a good club in Black Bay and hopefully Evan will ensure that he'll get a lot of playing time. I mean, we saw Aradabaio, we saw him on loan at Manchester City at Black Bay unless he needs now a full-on loan and we know he did quite well at Black Bay. A player actually Evan will liquid in the summer when looking for another centre back. And Branthwaith surprised us all as we, in what we saw of him playing for us, he's got that deceptive change of pace for such a big fella and I know that the manager was giving Jamie Carrick a little bit of stick when Carrick had called him a left-footed centre back. He's actually right-footed, but I actually thought he was predominantly left-footed because when he's played for Everton, he's being predominantly left-footed. So it's great that he can actually use both feet and it will really further his football and education. Won't it playing in games that actually means something with players who are trying to get the better of him rather than just training with us every day and sitting on a bench and not getting on. It's a good opportunity to test where he is and you're right, we've bemoaned players in what we're now calling it the abyss of being probably too good for the 20s and maybe not quite ready for our first team. So this is at his age as well, 18, it looks like you're cracking loan for me. Yeah, for me, and I don't know what you just agree. I think Jared Banthwaith is, he just needs experience. I think he's got all the assets of being a great defender, I really do. I just think it's the experience part of the game, just laying in the intricacies of where to be, when to pass, when not to pass. It sounds harsh, but just taking the rough edges off at Blackburn, letting him make his mistakes at Blackburn. For me, I just look at him, I think he's got everything to be a top class centre back, but he'll need games and he'll need to play competitively all the time. Because otherwise, like you just said, they go into the under 23s or they don't play that often, they don't play that often in the 23s, they don't have that many games, especially with everything going on. And what are you doing to a player by not letting them play all the time? You're not developing them players, get brilliant or top class because they're playing all the time, they're laying in all the time. It's about playing to laying rather than using coaching to laying. And I think he's got everything and he just needs games, he just needs to continually play at the level he can. I could honestly see him staying on loan this year, being on loan this year, sorry, and then next year having a loan in the Premier League. I honestly think he's that good, or he's got that bigger future, or at least be at the top end of the championship and playing every week and then maybe get a loan to a Premier League team towards the bottom of the table. I've honestly got that much faith in him going forward, I think he's a top-top player, he just needs games. And like Pett just said there, a case of ironing out there and laying in the nuances of playing against strikers who, the 23s we know is lovely, lovely game of football. It's not in contact really and it's just, we'll have a knock around, it's great, but he's going to find in the championship strikers with flailing arms in his face and leaving things on them and all of that stuff, laying in the craft. And he's not going to get that at the 23 level, he's got to improve his head and ability, that's the one thing I would say is aerial challenges because he's big enough to do it. I just think he's not great near at the moment for what we've seen, so it's a really good opportunity for him isn't it to get his football and education and black men over. It is, I've often talked about Ellis Sims and the fact that he faces defenders, the same defenders, he's faced all the way through the levels. They're not posing your questions, the questions that you need to answer and I think that when you go to a level like the championship it is a good league. People will consider it, some will consider it a 6-6 best league in Europe. It's difficult and others are going to strike like Ivan Tony there and put a link with Premier League moves. They're going to test you on a weekly basis and I think that's what young players need. It's great to get tested and train them but that under the pressure of a match atmosphere is where they're going to thrive. He's obviously now been getting games to Chelsea so there are examples of where it's worked so we need to follow them. Make some mounts as well? Yeah make some mounts. He's the one I always use because I think it's a hold them and to the championship. So yeah, there's quite a few examples and I think Evan needs to do this more often. You can't do it for every player because he could be loaned out to get so many players and there's only so many players people are interested in. But say for example, I guess I alone young girl who I believe turns 18 in March. The club needs to decide this pathway maybe goes on loan next January or maybe goes on loan in the summer. It's up to them but them type of players you've got high hopes for need to have plans going forward. I think this is where brands are going to have to be stronger in the next couple of years. Definitely. I think it's a good move for Jared and ultimately hopefully it's a good move for Evan. Because like Ped said, in 18 months he could well be one of our starting centre backs. So certainly banging on the door for it to be our starting centre back. Because obviously, you know, yet he mean it turns 27 in the summer. Michael Keane's already 27. So they're not getting any younger dose too in terms of where we are. So it's going to be interesting. But I think I agree with Ped. He looks and I think you do as well. And he looks like he's got everything to be a really good defender. He likes doing the dirty side of it as well. The run on back and go line challenges and stuff like that. When he was at Carlisle, there was a game he didn't play in the game. I think maybe it wasn't nice to take a poll down. But there was 40 scouts from the EFL and the Premier League going to watch him. So he was such a high commodity. Now there's another lad in the league too called Matthew Pollock. Who started around the similar age. But there's no way near the level of interest there is in him that wasn't Jared Bramford. It tells you the difference in what people think at that age. The same players you stand out. I think Jared Bramford was definitely one of those. So he has got a lot of ability. Definitely. Moving on to another evident defender could be leaving the club. Ped covered it again last night. Of course John Joe Kenny who spent last season. We know him on loan at Shell. He's been heavily linked now. He's been linked with a move to Burnie in the summer. And then it's come back around now. And I think with Burnie they take over and everything else. So it's a little bit of money now. Lucien, Fashon, Dysa, maybe bring somebody in. And they've identified John Joe Kenny as the person to be. That I think they have lawn it right back or badly. And I think Kenny's probably better than a pair of them. So he's someone who has been linked with a move away. And Ped is this. John Joe Kenny, 24 in March. We were just talking before we come on it. He had a spell on loan at Oxford in 2015 and 16. And here we are kind of five years later than he still hasn't. You know, Everton are using. We've used Alexandra Wobe. Right back. We've used Ben Godfrey. We've used obviously Coleman, Mason Hall. John Joe's played four games this season three in the Carabao Cup. He hasn't been able to establish himself to Carlham until he has shame as Coleman's deputy. At this age, is this the right time to sell John Joe Kenny now? No, the right time to sell John Joe Kenny was two years ago. Okay. But now we are where we are. But yeah, but we are where we are. And yeah, if we could get 7 million for him and reinvest that money into a new. Let's be honest, he's not he's not good enough. He's not good enough to be back up busy. Let's be honest. So he's not good enough to be the start and right back. And he never will be for us if we have the hopes of, you know, where we want to be. Listen, we had, we had Tony Hibber for 10 years, and he was never good enough for where we wanted to be. And you're seeing the difference today. Literally, shame is Coleman took over from him. What it was like to have a modern right back. And I think that's what John Joe you go back to is the fact that he does. You know, he looks like a Tony Hibber, Hibber to Esk Defender, because I don't think I think what's happened with him. I think when we watched him in the other 23 years, he looked like a really good attack on right back. And he had a certain little trick which he played little one to on the edge of the box, got it back and whipped it in. And what he found when he stepped up to the Premier League was he just didn't have the pace to get, to get past that final defender. He just didn't have the pace to run past him. So he could never get onto the final ball. So I think what he's done is he's settled. He's settled for the fact that he's just going to become a defensive defender. And he's not good enough as a defender either. Because that's what he never was that defensive right back. He was more of an attack on right back. So he found himself now in the middle, in right in the middle, where he's having to adjust his game, I think. So what is the most comfortable and what he probably thinks will get him the most games. A little bit like what sort of Tom Davis has done. Except Tom Davis is because he plays midfield. There's a few more options for him. I think he's a little bit further down the line because he's played more games. But I think for John Jo to really express that he has to go to a club, probably barely would be absolutely perfect. Because I could see him honestly having a really good Premier League career, be there for years and do well and fit in and do exactly what they need. Whereas for us, we're looking above that. And that's only right, isn't it? It's only right we should be looking that way. I want a top-class right back to be there. Like Dean is on the left, but on the right. That's why he should go in it. And this is the right time for his career for Evan. Andy, we're talking about a lad who's like it just said. He's turned 24 in March. He's played 108 career games. Whether people think that's a lot or not, I don't know. But he's played 108. He's played 32 games of Chelsea all season. I think to be honest, I think he wanted out in the summer. I think he enjoyed himself being the right back at Schalker. I think I've seen someone say the other day, we should have sold them for the 20 million. We got off them in the summer. We've never been off them for the 20 million for John Jo and Kenny in our lives. You don't snap hands off here. I mean, I was out and we'd swap him for Western McKinney in the summer. But that wasn't happening either. But for the lad himself, like Peds just said, for where we want to go and be on the front foot. I don't think he's what we need. And I think the fact that Carlo Antillotti's brought him back and had a look at him, and yet Mason Holgate, and a Wobie, and Godfrey, and everybody else seems to have been put there before and shows that the manager doesn't fit into the manager's plans. So it'd be good business to sell them now. Wouldn't it have been going to make that bit? Yeah, there's two points to make about Kenny. I think I understand why Peds thinks people should have said in hindsight why we should have sold them to a couple of years ago. The thing is with him, I think with his pedigree, obviously he was part of a well-coped team with other England players who've done well. I think with his pedigree, I think Evan had to see what his level was for the move to Schalch. I think it was a sort of a way for him to prove himself. Although he did well at Schalch, I don't think he showed that he was evidence level. So I understand why the club did that, and that's why we brought Sedebion as a bridgin loan just to see what was John Joe Kenner. Obviously it's clear now that Evan will move past the level of John Joe Kenny is, and I think Peds is right. I think that he has had to change his game. Sometimes I think it's a lot to do with when he's tried to get in the evidence-based team and he's made mistakes. I think he's been obviously pulled out of the team for that with some players. It ends up making them more safe and cautious, which I think is what's ended up happening with him. You see him when he played for us early in the season, he's taken back a lot rather than push it down the line. I think he used to be someone who likes to cross the ball. He just doesn't do it as often anymore. So I think it's the right move. I think, yeah, we sell him. I think Evan needs to do this more often. I think we can't really be getting to 23, 24 with these young lads any more where we're still looking to sell him. I think we need to make a decision as much earlier as I've said before. I've done some research. If you're not in the team by 18 or 19 and you're out low by 18 or 19, it's very unlikely that you're going to make it as a Premier League player at your club that you started. So I think Evan needs to take it and start making decisions much earlier on players. Is this almost like a... Not a warning or such, because that's probably the wrong way, but is this like a marker pad in your opinion that we do need to make that decision like Andy said at 18-19? If you're not really... I mean, how many players is in the under-23 squad and how many of them train with our first team on a regular basis? And they're all 18-19-20. I think about three, maybe four of them, isn't it? The rest of them are nowhere near it. So do we have to make that decision, be tougher and go, do we actually believe this player, whoever he is, he's going to become an Everton footballer or he's going to become a player that we can sell to a League One or a Championship Club for a million, a couple of million, and make us some money back, rather than just letting... You know the players we're talking about. John Joe's a consequence, though, of all the manager changes. Because, let's be honest, what you should be saying is, the minute he won the under-23s League, Everton should have made the decision on them right then. Was he going to be a first team or was he going to be sold? Because he shouldn't be going back down to the under-23s once he's reached the pinnacle of it. He's completed it. He's completed the under-23s, he's also the next level now. And I don't know whether it was just a... Because we've seen Cooman brought him in Didney and given him a couple of opportunities, brought him off the bench and stuff for that, for the pace and for the crosses and stuff, and he brought him on against Swansea, and he brought him on... When we played Bournemouth and the Asco, the goals, and he brought him on and he provided the wit. So each must have seen something in that I liked. And then with the constant changing, it's been lost. I don't understand this, why that decision hasn't been made above the manager's head. And maybe that's what maybe Marcel Brands has got to get to give to it, or is trying to get to give to it, is that idea of... The manager might step them up to the first team, but if he's not really sure on them, then they have to get together and make that decision. Now, that decision should be alone, shouldn't it? That decision should be... Take them away, put them out on loan and work from there. And the club's got to shoot, the club's got to play. The club's got to be absolutely right in terms of the club's got to play in a style that suits the way we play. So you're getting the best similarities in the styles. And we don't seem to have been as quick or quick enough making those decisions, and that's what's all got to be made quicker. So that, by the time a kid gets to 2021, he either knows he's got a chance to be in Everton's first team, squad, or his career is elsewhere. That's better for everybody surely, because it helps us as a club we can earn money. It helps the player go on to the next step, and it helps the person who's coming next on the list to have that pathway. And at the moment, and this is what we've all bemoaned in the last maybe two years, is that by none of that working, all it means is all these players... It's like a botled, isn't it? The 23s to the first team is like a bottleneck, and all these players now have been stuck in this bottleneck for two, three years, and it ends up with Matthew Penenson being 26 and looking for his next club. That's half of his careers gone, wasted as a lonely and in evidence on the 23s, because he didn't make a decision when he was 21. When he 21, he clearly wasn't good enough. He doesn't have the pace to be a centre back. And yet, here we are, and he's 26, and you're going on three in the summer. And that's all because of that bottleneck. That has been crazy, the evidence in the last five years. I would just like to add that as well. I think there's two parts to that. The club needs to be smart. I think brands has done this. He's reduced the number of wages you get at that level. I think too often in the past, players have put on long contracts where they probably weren't motivated to leave evidence, and those loan deals are probably a good idea for them, because it's not big of the way. Now, I'm not accusing players of that, but I understand from a longevity point of view in terms of money that that's a good option for them. I remember Kieran Dahl was on £20 a gram of the week while he was out on loan. So there's players like that. I think from the other side, I think players need to make decisions themselves earlier. I think you look at Jake Bidd, where I'll add them for sure. There's quite a number of other players, so it's a lot of players in the AFL who've left there in 19, 20, 21. We've gone on to have good careers. I think the earlier you get out, you'll be stained by that Premier League loan where you're going to different clubs and having to try and bedding quickly. Otherwise, it doesn't work out for you. I think the players need to make decisions themselves, but I think that's a big thing with the under-20s. It needs to be overhauled, and I think it is on its way. I think we see less older players playing now. I think obviously we're trying to get some of them sold, and we're seeing, you know, it's very small, called up at 16 years old. It doesn't say it's 17. So August, the bent type of players needs to be given opportunities earlier, because I'd rather see them play and develop in that league, which is probably a little bit of a step up for them than players who've been there who can play on the strippers, because it's probably just too easy for them, and there's no real point in it. Definitely, definitely. Just very quickly, per diem cofyddi Aston Villa game might be off. It has been cancelled now from the weekend. Not really much we can say, is that if it's a situation where Villa can't guarantee that the players recover from Covid, then it's frustrating as it is for us, because when you're winning, you want to carry on playing. There's not really much we can do about it. It's that we've got to just wait until... Just make sure we don't hug. Yeah, it's the next thing. That is the next thing. It is what it is. This game is getting cancelled everywhere. Carlisle has just had their next three cancelled. Cheffield wins. They've got their next two cancelled. This is going to hit the lower leagues massively now. It really is. It's not too bad in the Premier League at the moment, but it's going to hit the lower leagues massively this. It's going to start opening those... I know that was a joke, but once the MPs turn their gaze on to football as something they can deflect attention away from them, then they're going to start... Well, they are. They're going to start asking questions soon of can football continue. And, you know, in the Premier League, it's safe for the meantime, but it just shows you how quickly it can rip through a club if you don't stick to your stick to the bubbles. But I've said before, I can understand why players who have been shown to have had parties and why aren't those players getting punished. They're breaking the rules. Why aren't they getting punished? Why aren't they getting suspended? All this hugging stuff is an absolute nonsense. These players are together, or, you know, every day they share it, they're in the hotels together, on coaches together. The fact that they hug after a goal is absolute nonsense. Reflection, again, from a government that won't stop. People coming in from Brazil, where there's a new standard of it, absolute nonsense. But the players who are breaking the rules outside need to be punished now. Otherwise, this will just continue and we'll end up with a massive fixture pile at the top of the end of the season. It is matters. But yes, it's not good. I mean, the next two games cancel. There's a chance that they're going off to play there under 15s at Godderson in the FA Cup on Saturday next Saturday. So it is a bit of a mad one. Just finally, the manager, you talked about this last night, obviously on the back of the Walshwin. The manager spoke first and foremost about Abdelhaid y Cori saying he's been great, but he's obviously missed his evidence next Premier League game, but he said he needs a rest. And he's also asked about Dominic Calvert-Lewan, which again, you covered last night, and he said we've just got to be careful with Dominic at the moment, because obviously a little bit of a hamstring issue. So Andy, with that in mind, the Villa game being off might actually be a big benefit to both Dominic Calvert-Lewan and Everton because it gives them another eight days at least for the Cup game of Everton when we wish them there. It doesn't have to just make sure that that hamstring is going to be right. Everton would have had a walk nearly 17 days over the last two, three weeks, and I think winter brings when I've been talked about, but I think this is, I know the fans obviously want to see his play and keep the momentum going, but I think the day our next Premier League was on the 30th, I thought 27th. I'll be back, I'll probably be back round then, and Dominic Calvert-Lewan, because it wasn't quite out of the 90s, he'll probably be fully fit. I think, although it's disappointing that the games are off, I think it also benefits the squad to be fresh, because it's quite a big second half of the season, but we want to kick on, we want to stay in those European places, so in the long term, it might benefit us. Definitely, and Pat, did you, I mean, the core, the manager saying he needs to rest. I guess the only negative thing from our perspective is, well, it's negative him not being fit, obviously not being in the team rather because of the suspension, the only worrying thing for us is, we don't have another decor, Alan will be back, but we don't have another decor. It's one game, it was always going to happen, and there you go. There's no point moaning a barri. No, we've got a deal with that, haven't we? I think they've shown that they can maintain a certain level. One game, maybe 10 games would be a bit much, but just for one game would be fine. Well, having the two strikers, but you know, Retialis and Don back in the team means we can probably play in a slightly different way. Anyway, Cami, Lester, it's against Lester who likes to play on the counter-attack, so we just do what we did there and mirror it, mirror them. We can win it through with Michael Keen, and that'll be it. Yeah, that's it. That's it for the daily excess, so thank you very much. Gents, enjoy this. Make sure you give the video a thumbs up, subscribe if you haven't, and if you want more videos, get over and join us on Patreon. See you later.


Twas the morning of Christmas and all through the house, everyone was shouting because the Bluey game is horrible!  The short answer is no. Absolutely not. Put the game down, step away carefully and then buy something better. You'll probably be better off with the free Bluey games on the BBC website or on a mobile device. Frankly you'd be better off with an infestation of tickle crabs or bingo in a leopard onesie. This game is more annoying than Unicorps. To a certain extent, Bluey the video game fits into the retro revival trend of modern indie games. Stardew Valley reimagines Harvest Moon for a modern audience. Undertale does the same for Earthbound to an extent. Bluey the video game is the modern revival of E.T. the extraterrestrial for the Atari. It's a shallow, short, tremendously glitchy mess that was rushed out for the holiday period to trick unsuspecting parents into spending too much money for a low effort product, purely due to brand recognition. Here then is the story of how the Bluey game ruined our Christmas. Our daughter is something of a gaming expert, as much as any kid between the age of seven and ten can be. When our Nintendo Switch yearly review statistics came in, we were astonished and a bit dismayed to discover that she'd played 300 hours of Splatoon 3 this year. If Nintendo had any interest in supporting esports, rather than burning all their bridges with the community, we'd have a future superstar on our hands. The problem with being extremely well-practiced and frankly worryingly talented at games is that she does not suffer fools gladly. Our worst family gaming experience, until Bluey at least, was Stray, the brilliant dystopian cyberpunk game in which you play as a cat. Our daughter really wanted to watch us play. It was a bit too scary for her to want to control the cat in some of the sections, but our daughter really wanted to watch us play those, and woe betied us if we didn't play it exactly the way she wanted.  He's generally happy to watch. Our daughter got Animal Crossing New Horizons for Christmas, and she's been having lots of fun with her brother, dressing up her character as his favourite Disney characters. Elsa, Anna, Luke and Leia from Star Wars, somehow those are all Disney characters, even if Mickey Mouse isn't anymore in a rare win for the public domain. So, when the Bluey game was first announced, it rocketed to the top of our daughter's Christmas list, and it seemed like the kind of game we'd all get something out of. There are four of us and four members of the Healer family. Perfect. What better couch co-op exists for a family that's trying to wean their daughter off of Splatoon? Shortly after the kids aren't pre-ordered the game as a present, the first reviews came out. It was not pretty. Bluey the video game was, apparently, a buggy glitchy mess that lacked any substance. Oh dear. So it was with some trepidation that we approached the game on Christmas morning. Sure, the reviews weren't glowing, but how bad could it be? There are four levels in Bluey the video game. Each of these levels is designed to last exactly as long as an episode of the cartoon, meaning you'll wrap up the story mission in around half an hour. Then you can either play mini games or explore five different maps to find collectibles. Why Chilly has left three hockey sticks at the beach is never adequately explained. The point is it's not going to take you very long to see everything the game has to offer and to get absolutely sick of it. That said, a game with limited substance is not the worst thing in the world for the game's target audience of young children. Kids are good at creating their own fun and there is some joy to be had in wandering around, playing the limited mini games such as Keepie Uppie and Floor is Lava. The problem is that the game is clearly very unfinished. Bear a thought for the poor quality control team who worked on this, because they definitely weren't getting paid enough. At one point, one of our characters fell through the floor and disappeared out of bounds. When the game reloaded, that same character got stuck in mid-air, unable to move at all. Sometimes these glitches are funny, but when the physics is so bad that none of us can manage a particularly tricky jump to get a slice of collectible Pavlova off the top of a lamp post, our daughter's patience runs out. Pretty soon she's getting increasingly worked up, frustrated that nobody can do the very simple job in front of her and we have to try and calmly explain that it's not that we're doing it wrong, it's simply that the game is poorly made. The concept of a game, rather than the player being at fault, is not something she's really had to deal with before. It had never occurred to her that a game might actually just be bad. She's lost a little tiny piece of innocence as a result of that play session. Meanwhile, do you know what it's like to try and get four characters with an awful camera to the right part of a level when one of the players has never played a video game before? Naturally, our son wanted to play, and naturally, he has no idea how to use a controller. Normally we hand him ones that aren't connected to the console in front of him so that he can imagine he's playing along. This is a fundamental problem with how the Bluey game is constructed. The content is so banal and simple that it will only appeal to an audience that's too young to be able to engage with the control scheme. Again, you're probably better off with a simple free Bluey mobile game. It feels like the same amount of effort went into this as the offerings on the BBC website, but what developers have made is thoroughly unsuitable to the needs of players. Bluey the video game could, at the very least, do with the kind of auto-play function that you see in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, the ability for young players to engage with the game as much or as little as they feel comfortable. Instead, the game asks far too much of its players, even more experienced players who have the hassle of controlling both their own character and their child's character and struggling their way past all manner of glitches and bugs. This is to say nothing of the ill-thought-out controls. For some reason, the interact button and the menu button are the same. So if you're not in exactly the right spot for a contextual button prompt, everyone's game gets paused. With four people all trying to touch things around the level at any given time, you'll end up spending a lot of time paused unnecessarily. And naturally, the contextual interact button prompts don't ever seem to correlate with the on-screen indicators. Because why would they? That would require sensible playtesting and polish. What makes this all the more baffling is that there's a dedicated kick button. The most commonly pressed button has to share with the menu. But kick gets its own button? We don't even know what the kick button is supposed to do. Is it useful for KiPiUpy? Not really, you just need to touch the balloon to bounce it into the air. The kick button serves no purpose beyond taking up space on an already oddly complicated control layout. Plus, it's somewhat disturbing to see Bandit, the world's best fictional dad, kicking his children. That doesn't feel right. Bluey, the video game, is the latest in a long line of low-effort, cheap, shoddy cash grabs that trade off an existing and popular brand to squeeze a few dollar bucks out of unsuspecting parents. What makes this one so egregious, though, is the fact that all other Bluey media is of such a tremendously high quality. Bluey is, let's all be real here, the best thing on television at the moment. Possibly ever. The simple but genius move to make a show that appeals to both young children and their parents at the same time is simply wonderful. Kids enjoy a lesson about taking turns and playing fairly, and parents weep in sympathy with Chili as she tries desperately to get the kids out the door so they're not late for a play date. The door is right there! All you have to do is walk through it! Why is this so hard? Then there are the moments of genuine heartfelt emotion as parents and children come together to share something magical. Bluey teaches her dad just as much about the world and crucially appreciating the joy of imagination and nature as he ever teaches her about hard work. Bluey, as a show, is so much more than just a monkey in the rain. It's disappointing then that the game lacks so much of the same wit and charm and self-awareness. This isn't a game for the whole family with content for both younger and older players. It's hard to figure out who this game is for at all for that matter. It's not for parents who will find it more annoying than entertaining. It's not for children who will either be baffled by the control scheme or utterly frustrated that nothing in the game works should. This game then, like ET before it, is really only good for one thing. Being buried in the New Mexico desert and dug up 30 years later by ironic archaeologists. This is a cautionary tale and not something that should be purchased even on deep sail. Play a free Bluey tablet game instead. Or better yet, turn off the screens and spend some time playing or drawing or otherwise engaging with your kids. Bob Bilby would want it that way. The moral of the story? Don't pre-order. Wait for the reviews instead. Just because something looks good on paper, it doesn't mean it's going to live up to your expectations.


Uh, as, uh, as, uh, Mr. Vine just, uh, said, I am Sonia Davis Lewis and I am a survivor. Thank you. I can finally say that without shame as if the burden of the shame was mine to bear being victimized and treated like you're less than human is something nobody wants to share that we want to keep it in silence and in secret because we don't want anybody to think that we're weak and that's the perception of most victims because I often hear people say oh that wouldn't happen to me or that couldn't happen to me how could you stay and I stayed for 18 years but I'll say this and I often say this to people who ask that question I didn't become a victim by happenstance I was conditioned to be a victim you see I was sexually molested at eight years old by somebody that I trusted I watched domestic violence in my home and in my family for most of my life so that was normal to me domestic violence equated to love for me so that's why I stayed I'm gonna share a story one story with you um I was at the Columbia mall in the early 2000s shopping for Easter for my boys as I perused through the store my abuser came up behind me and grabbed me by the back of my shirt and drugged me out of the mall as I tried to ditch the things that I had in my hand because I didn't want to be accused of stealing I was drug out of the store and into the mall parking lot where I was punched in the face I was slapped I was kicked I was down on the ground crouching against my car when all of a sudden I saw four legs come up and I thought to myself somebody is here to help me and I was so grateful because I was in so much pain and more than the pain was the shame that somebody was going to recognize me and see me all of a sudden these two security guards from the mall grabbed my abuser and they were holding his arms and I was able to brace myself and stand up and they said to him you can't do that here you have to take her home to do that how many of you know that that's exactly what he did he took me home and he finished what he started what set that off he said that I was smiling at a clerk that I if you offered me a million dollars I couldn't tell you who he was talking about but you see there's no rationalization to domestic violence it says off it's as if they all read from the same book because the behaviors are all the same it's never about what you do or what you don't do you can't fix them and that was always my thought that if I just loved him a little more if I just took care of the kids a little better if I just cooked dinner you know every day and kept the house clean that it would be better but in 18 years it never got better I went to work every day black eyes and bruises my co-workers made fun of me they laughed they told jokes when I walked in the cafeteria I was the butt of jokes but I made it through all of that because when I was in grad school one night I was leaving class and see I had to rush home because he knew what time I got out of class and he knew how long it took me to drive from the campus campus of Webster University to my home up in the summit so I was hesitant when my instructor asked me to stay after class because she wanted to talk to me so I was rushing to get out and there was somebody else taking her time and talking to her and I went to walk past her and all she did was slip me something in my hand and I took it and went to my car and when I got there it was a car that says sister care the very next Saturday morning I was punched in the face because I wanted to go to a soccer game for my goddaughter and I took that opportunity to take that card that I had hidden away in my book bag and I contacted sister care and they helped me she helped me develop a safety plan so that I could leave she went to court with me so that I could get my restraining order and I'm so thankful for organizations like sister care and the sheriff's department they gave me an advocate and they stood with me and people think I'm 15 years removed from my domestic violence 15 years a survivor but it's not over it's not over I battle every day my abuser often says to other people why can't she just get over it it's been 15 years why can't she just get over it but some things hit you so hard and they hurt you so bad you'll never get over it I'm irrevocably broken but I hear I am I'm surviving and I'm thriving and I'm determined to move forward each and every day that's why I had to get over the shame of it and stand here and say that's not my shame to bear but I got out and I survived and you can too and I want to encourage anybody that's in that situation because see I wore it well two things that victims of domestic violence are great at keeping secrets and telling lies in my house it was always told to me what goes on in this house it stays in this house but see I got two daughters and I didn't carry on that tradition I told my two girls if something is hurting you you better come tell me because I'm gonna fix it you don't go home home is supposed to be security and safety it's not supposed to be a place where you drive down the street and you cry because you're almost there I am an example that's why I'm willing to put myself out here to tell my story to get over the shame and the humiliation I felt at being a victim because I know that I'm not the only one I used to believe that I was but today I know I'm not the only one but I got out and I'm thanking God every day for those advocates at Richland County Sheriff Department for sister care who stood beside me every step of the way and as I said 15 years removed I'm still in counseling forever suffering from PTSD but yeah here I am I'm here I wake up every morning and I give myself a hug because I made it I'm my own hero so I say to anybody else out there who's suffering and going through what I went through you too there are people and places that can help you you can reach out to me I'm on Facebook I'm always an open book willing and able to help and there are other places such as sister care and I'm you know I know there are many other places but that was where I found my freedom and that's why I will forever be thankful to them and I hope I'm encouraging somebody to step up and step out today find you and fall in love with you and then you can walk your path and live your truth thank you


I read everybody. Let me just adjust me mic. Welcome to today's special four gang episode. So, hello. Welcome to the mystery boxes. This really big one is really, really light. Look at it. It's so light. However, this one is really heavy. The table I normally use for my unboxings is actually right above the camera. It's the table I use for recording now for my computer. You've probably seen my shelves and everything and all the things that I've sort of collected in the past and it's definitely depleted somewhat because when I had everything I was like, oh okay. Now what do I do with it? So I've been very selective with the collectibles that I get now. I wanted to get some really bespoke like one-off kind of things that you couldn't really get anywhere else and that said a lot. Now in the past I've got, you know, like the custom T-Rex that you can just see there or, you know, the hypospino that Sweet Fox Wings did or, you know, the Chronicle Collectibles T-Rex, which let's be honest, the paint job wasn't really that good on it and it weighed a ton and took up a lot of space. But I came across this and I don't know where I came across this because it was a while ago now. This looks fishy. I mean, it's not a site that's eBay, Amazon. I don't trust it. But I had a look into this site and it seemed as it turned out very legit. Okay, I'll keep an eye on this. In the next day, one of this set had sold. So we are actually down one of the pieces. Jared Circus Bear. Yeah, those are the wood bases. So those ones are proper solid. So what we're going to do, we're going to take them out.  And then I'll probably cut to like close-ups and stuff. There's the invoice. That's quite expensive. We'll not look at that for long. This came all the way from America. Oh, wow. Okay, we have a little letter here. Thank you very much for acquiring my Jurassic series figures. These were true work of love on my end. And I hope there will be fine additions to your collection. So what was interesting? I started following them on Instagram. And when I bought all of these, I think you made a video. These just went live yesterday. And all the work of the last two months has, well, it's apparently paid off. I always like to know who picks up my pieces, where they end up, the homes that they go to. And so, yeah, just feeling really thankful this morning. Thankful to whoever out there appreciated my work on these figures enough to add them to their own collection. But they're all like individually made, very hand-painted. It's all... And I was kind of wondering, because it is in America where these were made. And they had to come all the way to the UK. And I was really wondering like, how are these going to be packaged and kept safe so that when it comes to me, none of these very intricate pieces of art aren't destroyed. Peanuts. So bad for the environment, will you stop making them down Americans? Wow, they've been packaged really well. Not only do we have packaging peanuts, oh my God. Also, I've been putting off this just because it was like, I was like, how am I going to record this? House is going to be done. Okay, so let's get one of the small ones. No wonder you're extinct. Let's get this guy out showing. Oh, wow. Oh, that is so small. Oh my God. You are kidding me. You guys are not even like, yeah, we're going to have to show close-ups of this. Oh, the raindrops on the roof. No way. That, that is next level. He's even got like the little antenna. Oh, look at his little tail. The barbersaw can.  Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm definitely going to be showing close-ups of this because he's even got glass in the windows. What on earth? That is nuts. Like the paint job and the Delofosaurus, the scheme, the color scheme of the Delofosaurus is exactly like the screen actually won. Even the Delofosaurus is like spinning some venom at Dennis Nedry from across the Jeep. Oh, wow. I love the raindrops on top of this. Jesus. Now, I don't know how big I expected these to come. I think I expected them to be like pop vinyl size, like this one, because this is one of the smallest ones. I did not expect, and they probably have the measurements to be fair. I'm not expecting to be so small, but even with it being so small, that is crazy amounts of detail. Look at his face. Oh, that's great. No way. No way. That is so cool. I wonder where I can put them. Is it over here? Let's put little Dennis Nedry over here. I'm going to lie. I'm going to lie Dennis Nedry down. I'm going to lie Dennis Nedry. There he is. Wow. Oh, all that was just packaged in there and then sandwiched between two more soundproofs. You know, that's the thing when you buy stuff from Chronicle Collectibles or first for figures or anything like that. The Majora's Mask is right there. You can't get much better than that. But as far as the style goes and mass production goes, you can't really get much better than that. But when it comes to bespoke pieces that are one-off created by an individual who has a passion for it, you can't get better than that. And that, that Dennis Nedry. This one is one sick dry sourdough. I can not wait to record the close-ups of these. They're going to look so good. Way better. Way better than like even better in person, I should say. I should be facing towards you. It's like Christmas. I mean, some of you may know, I recently got into painting miniatures like Warhammer. As you can see, there's like a whole shelf of like necrons and tyrannids over there that I've all painted. So I'm at the right stage where I look at this and I just think, damn, how many hours did that take? Just wow. We've got the JP-10 for the Jeep Wrangler. I like Jared Serkis, but I like that. I like the little touch of the tyre on the back. We've got Lex, Tim, Alan, Ellie, Professor Harding there. Look at that detail on that tree. I wonder what he uses to paint these. Oh, he's even got like Alan Grant's watch. I think maybe under a microscope. I wonder if he painted little arms on that watch. Oh, look, Tim's holding his book there. He's even got his little neckerchief and his striped jacket. Ellie's holding. I don't even remember what that is. Oh, it's the gold. It's the flashlight. That's right. She holds a little flashlight. Harding with his, uh, Ruthie's tache. All the detail on Lex's jacket. Oh, wow. That is, that is something to think that like the triceratops looks great. Just that. Oh, the dung that the guys hold with the glove on its hand as well. I mean, you can tell the person who made this, Jared, just really was like everything about the scene just encapsulated in a miniature. And that's, I think, what you want from a display piece, from a, from a collectible is just everything. Just the essence of that, all the environment. You've literally just taken a glass and just cupped it and like ground out everything. And then there you go. There's your scene. It's the environment.  Oh my god. Okay, let's put that down with Dennis Nedry. So those were the, I think there was another, there was another one. Then maybe, oh, the one I didn't get had the drastic gate. I'll put it in a picture. The one I didn't get had the drastic part gate to the brachiosaurus coming out. Look, phenomenal. I was, I was a bit miffed. I was like, oh, if one had to go, why that one? But I'm glad, I'm glad that somebody else is going to have that one. But everyone else, I'm so sorry I bought all these, but then again, not sorry. So this one, we have a shooter. Does anybody know what this scene is? All right, guys, let me get the stands out. Got that, that, that's a big stand. Okay, never mind. Maybe they can't go in just a box because this is massive. Oh, wow. Oh, I can smell the wood polish. Okay, just making sure that I'm not going to move it. Wow, look at those. I mean, after all that, like uses them this sellotape, which is just like paper tape, which doesn't really hold at all. Oh, the first layer, nothing. Yeah, this is the size I was sort of expecting. Looks like some of the tree stuffs came off. That's to be expected. I can probably glue this back on. Yeah, it's just, they were just so delicate. Yeah, it's just like little bits of but you know, from looking at it, I would have no idea. Oh, wow. This is so cool. I love the blue of the head. That's amazing. You've got the taser there.  It actually moves. That's nuts. We've got the helmet. You've got the taser.  You've got Joffrey and Robert Muldoon, the raptor enclosure and all of its glory there. Oh, there you go. They got the, um, the Motorola Sabre there, the walkie-talkie.  Oh, that is stunning. That is really, really stunning. It looks like a sticker. It looks too good. I'm going to put it there because I don't want it to fall over, especially with all those trees and stuff. I'm amazed that I try Ceratops one made it without any hitch. Okay, so we've got two more. We've got T-Rex. Does it want to feed? What could this one be? Oh, second layer. Not as busy. My God. Oh, my God. Wow. This one, only two bits of leaf can manage to come off this one. So this one was way more protected. I think that's because it's got this barbed wire around it. So we had the guest already. Which scene this is? It is, of course, the scene where the T-Rex comes out and eats the ghost. Oh, my God. Look at the raindrops on the T-Rex. Oh, wow. How'd you do that? How'd you get the raindrops looking like that? It looks so sweet. And you've got the lights on the fence, the little goat, then the night vision goggles and the bottom half being the toilet where Genaro is about to be eaten. The raindrops on the bottom of the fence there. It's like it's just so splattered with whatever resin or whatever it is to make it look like that. Looks so cool. Actually, these bits of the fence, I know I have that.  That's just next. It's on another level. It really is. It's completely on another level. What's this one? When dinosaurs rule the earth. This is the only one that isn't in its own little foam. Now, when I saw this one, it was just so next level. Like when it comes to detail and intricacy. Oh, this was the one that I was most worried about when it came to shipping it, because it was just, you'll see there's so many little bits to it. Oh my God. Just that bit alone. Just the top. I mean, you can't even really see it. I'm putting it against my face. You can't even really see it. The dangling bits of fossil. Oh my God. Oh, this is so freaking good. I know I may say a lot of times why about poison collectibles. Oh, that looks so good, but I don't think you can top this. I think this is probably the best collectible I've ever seen. Trying to be as careful with this as possible. It's like one of those big pop finals. Better because pop finals are ugly. Will James get this out before his kneecap blows out the right side of his leg? Find out next time. Wow. Just wow.  Oh, wow. Why am I getting emotional over this? Actually, this is, this is weird. Why am I actually getting emotional looking at this? No, it won't be the meme. I'm not going to be the Star Wars guy who cries or whatever. Just a jelly on the spoon. When dinosaurs rule the earth, the T-Rex roaring is even painted the mural behind with the parrots and the raptor. It is gorgeous. And then we've still got to put on the top bit. Who do we have? We have Ellie Sattler on the, the, the tail. We've got Tim and Alan Grant on the, the main body. And you can, you can see it's almost the moment. I was like, Tim, you gotta let go. You gotta let go. Let go, Tim. The raptor there jumping on as well. He's even got like pupils and everything. What the heck is going on with this level of detail? How? Look, even the jelly, it's got like, like little air bubbles inside and everything. He's got like a love. I love this, this aesthetic of the, the thatched roof. It's even on the ears. It's on the shoulder. He's got the engine on the back there. The waterfall next to John Hammond. Oh, it's so reminiscent of that, the old Jurassic Park ride where it showed the video. It was like, another wonderful time at Jurassic Park. Oh, it's beautiful. That, that, that's what that is to me. How did you manage to achieve this? Show you. The Jeep with the dent, the dentist Nedry soon, the little officer. So iconic. The first time we actually see a dinosaur in Jurassic Park being the triceratops. And the, the opening scene with the raptor killing the gatekeeper, the, of course, the iconic T-Rex scene eating the goat and just the visitor center. The building alone, the visitor center is, is just so, I said it a million times, iconic. It just really, as you see that, you see it's still away. You know exactly what the color scheme, everything about it, like even just the hands, they all have hands. They're all doing things, holding a barber's whole can, wearing a glove, holding the dung from the triceratops, holding a taser, holding the jello, everything about it. You can tell he's, he's just put so much thought into it when it's came to these miniatures. It's, it's, it's amazing. I don't know what to say. Oh, you know, the end ones have unboxed all this. I'll be like, yeah, then this is how I'm going to end it. But I think they just, they speak volumes. They really do. So this is where editing James takes over because apparently I had no idea how to end the video. If you haven't already, check his Instagram out and check his website because the, the amount of stuff that he does and the quality and the range that this guy can do, even sculpting everything, it's just amazing to see. And I'm sure if you check it out, you'll find something you like at this moment in time. He has no idea that I'm the one that's bought all of them. So it goes without saying, I haven't been told to say any of this. I saw a range of amazingly executed Jurassic Park models and seeing them in person, those pictures, and probably this video hasn't even done them justice. And I just want to say thank you. Thank you, Jared, for making these amazing pieces that I'm able to share with everybody else. Thank you. I might have to rearrange some of my Jurassic Park display, but I want them on the top shelf because just running through them all, it just tells that story of Jurassic Park from iconic scene to iconic scene. And as a collector, I think they just embody everything that I was looking for. These aren't the only Jurassic Park things he's created either. I think he's made a couple of other ones. There was this Delofaso with the Jurassic Park gate thing that looks so cool. So hey, you never know, you might be able to snatch another one, but you've got to beat me. Woohoo! But if you enjoyed this video, guys, leave a like, and until next time, I'll see you later. Oh, bye-bye.