Volume 8, Chapter 7 of Cecilia. From this lethargy of sadness, Cecilia was soon, however, awakened by the return of the surgeon, who had brought with him a physician to consult upon Mrs. Delville's situation. Terror for the mother once more drove the son from her thoughts, and she waited with the most apprehensive impatience to hear the result of the consultation. The physician declined giving any positive opinion, but, having written a prescription, only repeated the injunction of the surgeon that she should be kept extremely quiet and on no account be suffered to talk. Cecilia, though shocked and frightened at the occasion, was yet by no means sorry at an order which thus precluded all conversation, unfitted for it by her own misery. She was glad to be relieved from all necessity of imposing upon herself the irksome task of finding subjects for discourse to which she was wholly indifferent, while obliged with sedulity to avoid those by which alone her mind was occupied. The worthy Mrs. Charlton heard the events of the morning with the utmost concern, but charged her granddaughters to assist her young friend in doing the honors of her house to Mrs. Delville, while she ordered another apartment to be prepared for Cecilia, to whom she administered all the consolation her friendly zeal could suggest. Cecilia, however unhappy, had too just a way of thinking to indulge in selfish grief, where occasion called her to action for the benefit of others. For some moment therefore now did she allow to sorrow and herself, but assiduously bestowed the whole of her time upon her two sick friends, dividing her attention according to their own desire or convenience, without consulting or regarding any choice of her own. Choice indeed she had none. She loved Mrs. Charlton. She revered Mrs. Delville. The warmest wish with which her heart glowed was the recovery of both, but too deep was her affliction to receive pleasure from either. Two days passed thus, during which the constancy of her attendance, which at another time would have fatigued her, proved the only relief she was capable of receiving. Mrs. Delville was evidently affected by her vigilant tenderness, but seemed equally desirous with herself to make use of the prohibition to speech as an excuse for uninterrupted silence. She inquired not even after her son, though the eagerness of her look towards the door whenever it was open, should either a hope or an apprehension that he might enter. Cecilia wished to tell her whether he was gone, but dreaded trusting her voice with his name. And their silence, after a while, seemed so much by mutual consent that she had soon as little courage as she had inclination to break it. The arrival of Dr. Leister gave her much satisfaction, for upon him rusted her hopes of Mrs. Delville's re-establishment. He sent for her downstairs to inquire whether he was expected, and hearing that he was not, desired her to announce him as the smallest emotion might do mischief. She returned upstairs, and after a short preparation said, Your favourite Dr. Leister, madame, is come, and I shall be much the happier for having you under his care. Dr. Leister cried she, who sent for him? I believe I fancy Mr. Delville fetched him. My son, is he here then? No, he went the moment he left you for Dr. Leister, and Dr. Leister is come by himself. Does he write to you? No indeed, he writes not, he comes not. Dearest madame, be satisfied, he will do neither to me ever more. Exemplary young man cried she, in a voice hardly audible, how great is his loss, unhappy Mortimer, ill-fated and ill-rewarded. She sighed and said no more, but this short conversation, the only one which had passed between them since her illness, agitated her so much that Dr. Leister, who now came upstairs, found her in a state of trembling and weakness that both alarmed and surprised him. Cecilia, glad of an opportunity to be gone, left the room and sent by Dr. Leister's desire for the physician and surgeon who had already attended. After they had been some time with their patient, they retired to a consultation, and when it was over Dr. Leister waited upon Cecilia in the parlor, and assured her he had no apprehension of danger for Mrs. Delville. Though for another week he added, I would have her continue your patient, as she is not yet fit to be moved. But pray mind that she is kept quiet, let nobody go near her, not even her own son. By the way, he is waiting for me at the inn, so I'll just speak again to his mother and be gone. Cecilia was well pleased by this accidental information, to learn both the anxiety of Delville for his mother, and the steadiness of his forbearance for himself. When Dr. Leister came downstairs again, I shall stay, he said, till tomorrow, but I hope she will be able in another week to get to Bristol. In the meantime I shall leave her, I see, with an excellent nurse. But my good young lady, in your care of her, don't neglect yourself. I am not quite pleased with your looks, though it is but an old-fashioned speech to tell you so. What have you been doing to yourself? Nothing, said she, a little embarrassed, but had you not better have some tea? Why yes, I think I had, but what shall I do with my young man? Cecilia understood the hint, but coloured, and made no answer. He is waiting for me, he continued at the inn. However, I never yet knew the young man I would prefer to a young woman, so if you will give me some tea here, I shall certainly jolt him. Cecilia instantly rang the bell and ordered tea. Well now, said he, remember the sin of this breach of appointment lies holy at your door. I shall tell him you laid violent hands on me, and if that is not enough to excuse me, I shall desire he will try whether he could be more of a stoic with you himself. I think I must unorder the tea, said she, with what gaiety she could assume, if I am to be responsible for any mischief from your drinking it. No, no, you shan't be off now. But pray, would it be quite out of rule for you to send and ask him to come to us? Why, I believe, I think, said she, stammering, it's very likely he may be engaged. Well, well, I don't mean to propose any violent incongruity. You must excuse my blundering. I understand but little of the etiquette of young ladies, to the science too intricate to be learned without more study, than we plodding men of business can well spare time for. However, when I have done writing prescriptions, I will set about reading them, provided you will be my instructress. Cecilia, though ashamed of a charge in which prudery and affectation were implied, was compelled to submit to it, as either to send for Delville, or explain her objections, was equally impossible. The Miss Charlton's therefore joined them, and they went to tea. Just as they had done, a note was delivered to Dr. Leister. See here, cried he, when he read it, what a fine thing it is to be a young man, why now Mr. Mortimer understands as much of all this etiquette as you ladies do yourselves, for he only writes a note, even to ask how his mother does. He then put it into Cecilia's hand. To Dr. Leister, tell me, my dear sir, how have you found my mother? I am uneasy at your long stay, and engaged with my friend Bidolf, or I should have followed you in person, M.D. So you see, continued the doctor, I need not do penance for engaging myself to you, when this young gentleman can find such good entertainment for himself.  Cecilia, much hurt for Delville, and much confused for herself, looked abashed but knew not what to answer. My scheme, continued the doctor, is to tell him, that as he has found one engagement for tea, he may find another for supper, but that as to me I am better disposed of, for you insist upon keeping me to yourself. Come what says etiquette, may I treat myself with this puff? Certainly said Cecilia, endeavouring to look pleased, if you will favour us with your company, Miss Charlton's and myself will think the puffing should be rather ours than yours. That then, said the doctor, will not answer my purpose, for I mean the puff to be my own, or how do I punish him? So suppose I tell him I shall not only suck with three young ladies, but be invited to a tet-a-tet with one of them into the bargain. The young ladies only laughed, and the doctor finished his note and sent it away. And then, turning gaily to Cecilia, come, he said, why don't you give me this invitation? Surely you don't mean to make me guilty of perjury. Miss Cecilia, but little disposed for pleasantry, would gladly now have dropped the subject. But Dr. Leicester, turning to the Miss Charlton's, said young ladies, I call you both to witness if this is not very bad usage. This young woman has connived at my writing a downright falsehood, and all the time took me in to believe it was a truth. The only way I can think of to cure her for such frolics is for both of you to leave us together, and so make her keep her word whether she will or no. Miss Charlton's took the hint and went away, while Cecilia, who had not at all suspected he meant seriously to speak with her, remained extremely perplexed to think what he had to say. Mrs. Delville, cried he, continuing the same air of easy-good humor. Though I allowed her not to speak to me above twenty words, took up near ten of them to tell me that you had behaved to her like an angel. Why so, she ought, cried I. What else was she sent here to look so like one? I charged her, therefore, to take all that as a thing of course, and to prove that I really think what I say. I am now going to make a trial of you, that, if you are anything less, will induce you to order some of your men to drive me into the street. The truth is, I have had a little commission given me, which in the first place I know not how to introduce, and which in the second, as far as I can judge, appears to be absolutely superfluous. Maria now felt uneasy and alarmed, and begged him to explain himself. He then dropped the levity with which he had begun the discourse, and after a grave yet gentle preparation, expressive of his unwillingness to distress her, and his firm persuasion of her uncommon worthiness, he acquainted her that he was no stranger to her situation with respect to the Delville family. Good God! cried she, blushing and amazed, and who? I knew it, said he, from the moment I attended Mr. Mortimer in his illness at Delville Castle. He could not conceal for me that the seat of his disorder was his mind, and I could not know that without readily conjecturing the cause, when I saw who was his father's guest, and when I knew what was his father's character. He found he was betrayed to me, and upon my advising a journey, he understood me properly. His openness to counsel, and the manly firmness with which he behaved in quitting you, made me hope the danger was blown over. But last week, when I was at the castle, where I have for some time attended Mr. Delville, who has had a severe fit of the gout, I found him in an agitation of spirits, that made me apprehend it would be thrown into his stomach. I desired Mrs. Delville to use her influence to calm him, but she was herself in still greater emotion, and, appointing me, she was obliged to leave him, desired I would spend with him every moment in my power. I have therefore almost lived at the castle during her absence, and in the course of our many conversations, he has acknowledged to me the uneasiness under which he has labored, from the intelligence concerning his son, which he had just received. Cecilia wished here to inquire how received, and from whom, but had not the courage, and therefore he proceeded. I was still with the father when Mr. Mortimer arrived post at my house to fetch me hither. I was sent for home. He informed me of his errand without disguise, for he knew I was well acquainted with the original secret whence all the evil arose. I told him my distress in what manner to leave his father, and he was extremely shocked himself when acquainted with his situation. We agreed that it would be vain to conceal from him the indisposition of Mrs. Delville, which the delay of her return, and a thousand other accidents, might in some unfortunate way make known to him. He commissioned me therefore to break it to him that he might consent to my journey, and at the same time to quiet his own mind by assuring him all he had apprehended was wholly at an end. He stopped and looked to see how Cecilia bore these words. It is all at an end, sir, said she with firmness, but I have not yet heard your commission. What and from whom is that? I am thoroughly satisfied it is unnecessary, he answered, since the young man can but submit, and you can but give him up. But still, if there is a message, it is fit that I should hear it. If you chase it, so it is. I told Mr. Delville whether I was coming, and I repeated to him his son's assurances. He was relieved, but not satisfied. He would not see him, and gave me for him a prohibition of extreme severity, and to you he bid me say. From him then is my message, cried Cecilia, half frightened and much disappointed. Yes, said he, understanding her immediately, for the son, after giving me his first account, had the wisdom and forbearance not once to mention you. I am very glad, said she, with a mixture of admiration and regret to hear it. But what, sir, said Mr. Delville? He bid me tell you that either he or you must see his son never more. It was indeed unnecessary, cried she, coloring with resentment, to send me such a message. I meant not to see him again. He meant not to desire it. I returned to him, however, no answer, and I will make him no promise. To Mrs. Delville alone I hold myself bound. To him, send what messages he may, I shall always hold myself free. But believe me, Dr. Leicester, if with his name his son had inherited his character, his desire of our separation would be feeble and trifling compared with my own. I am sorry, my good young lady, said he, to have given you this disturbance. Yet I admire your spirit, and doubt not that it will enable you to forget any little disappointment you may have suffered. And what, after all, have you to regret? Mortimer Delville is, indeed, a young man that any woman might wish to attach, but every woman cannot have him, and you, of all women, have least reason to repine in missing him, for scarcely is there another man you may not choose or reject at your pleasure. Little as was the consolation Cecilia could draw from this speech, she was sensible it became not her situation to make complaints, and therefore to end the conversation she proposed calling in the Miss Charlton's. No, no, said he, I must step up again to Mrs. Delville, and then be gone. Tomorrow morning I shall but call to see how she is, and leave some directions and set off. After Mortimer Delville accompanies me back, but he means to return hither in a week in order to travel with his mother to Bristol. Meantime I purpose to bring about a reconciliation between him and his father, his prejudices are more intractable than any man's I ever met with. It will be strange indeed, said Cecilia, should a reconciliation now be difficult. True, but it is long since he was young himself, and the softer affections he never was acquainted with, and only regards them in his son as derogatory to his whole race. However, if there were not some few such men, there would hardly be a family in the kingdom that could count a great grandfather. I am not, I must own, of his humor myself, but I think it rather peculiarly stranger, than peculiarly worse than most other peoples. And how, for example, was that of your uncle a witt the better? He was just as fond of his name as if, like Mr. Delville, he could trace it from the time of the Saxons. Cecilia strongly felt the truth of this observation, but not choosing to discuss it made not any answer. And Dr. Leister, after a few good-natured apologies, both for his friends, the Delvils, and himself, went upstairs. What continual disturbance cried she when left alone keeps me thus forever from rest? No sooner is one wound closed, but another is opened. Concentration constantly succeeds distress, and when my heart is spared, my pride is attacked, that not a moment of tranquility may ever be allowed me. Had the lowest of women won the affections of Mr. Delville, could his father with less delicacy or less decency have acquainted her with his inflexible disapprobation? To send with so little ceremony a message so contemptuous and so peremptory. But perhaps it is better, for had he too, like Mrs. Delville, kind kindness with rejection, I might still more keenly have felt the perverseness of my destiny. End of Chapter 8, Volume 7, Recorded by Michelle Crandall, Fremont, California, March 2009. Volume 8, Chapter 8 of Cecilia. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recorded by Valli. Cecilia, Memorials of Inheris, by Frances Burney. Volume 8, Chapter 8, Aparting. The next morning, Dr. Leicester called early, and having visited Mrs. Delville, and again met the two gentlemen of the faculty in whose care she was to remain, he took his leave. But not without contriving first to speak a few words to Cecilia in private, in which he charged her to be careful of her health and reanimate her spirits. Don't suppose, said he, that because I'm a friend of the Delville family, I'm either blind to your merits or to their foibles. Far from it. But then, why should they interfere with one another? Let them keep their prejudices, which though different, are not worse than their neighbors. And do you retain your excellencies and draw from them the happiness they ought to give you? People reason and refine themselves into a thousand miseries by choosing to settle that they can only be contended one way, whereas there are 50 ways if they would but look about them that would commonly do as well. I believe indeed you're right, answered Cecilia, and I thank you for the admonition. I will do what I can towards studying your scheme of philosophy and it is always one step to amendment to be convinced that we wanted.  And Mr. Del Ryle, should he find a daughter in law descended in a right line from Egbert, first king of all England, won't be so well off as if he had satisfied himself with you. However, the old gentleman has a fair right, after all, to be pleased his own way and let us blame him how we will. We shall find upon sifting, it is for no other reason but because his humor happens to clash with our own. That indeed, says Cecilia, smiling, is a truth incontrovertible and a truth to which for the future I'll endeavour to give more weight. But will you permit me now to ask one question? Can you tell me from whom, how or when the intelligence which has caused all this disturbance, she hesitated? But comprehending her readily, he answered, how did God at it I never heard, for I never thought it worthwhile to inquire, as it is so generally known that nobody I meet with seems ignorant of it. This was another and a cruel shock to Cecilia and Dr. Leicester perceiving it again attempted to comfort her. That the affair is somewhat spread, said he, is now not to be helped and therefore little worth thinking of. Everybody will agree that the choice of both does honour to both and nobody need be ashamed to be successor to either. Whenever the course of things leads Mr. Mortimer and he ourselves to make another election. He wisely intends to go abroad and will not return till he is his own man again. And as to you, my good young lady, what after a short time given to vexation need interrupt your happiness? You have the whole world before you with youth, fortune, talents, beauty and independence. Drive therefore from your head this unlucky affair and remember, they can hardly be a family in the kingdom, this one accepted, that will not rejoice in a connection with you. He then good humorily shook hands with her and went into his chains. Cecilia, though not slow in remarking the ease and philosophy with which everyone can argue upon the calamities and moralise upon the misconduct of others, had still the candour and good sense to see that there was reason in what he urged and to resolve upon making the best use in her part of the hints for consolation she might draw from his discourse. During the following week, she devoted herself almost wholly to Mrs. Del Weil, sharing with the maid whom she had brought with her from the castle, the fatigue of nursing her and leaving to the Miss Charlton's, the chief care of their grandmother. For Mrs. Del Weil appeared every hour more sensible of her attention and more desirous of her presence and though neither of them spoke, each was endeared by the other by the tender officers of friendship which were paid and received. When this week was expired, Dr. Leister was prevailed upon to return again to Burry in order to travel himself with Mrs. Del Weil to Bristol. Well cried he, taking Cecilia by the first opportunity aside. How are you? Have you studied my schema philosophy as you promised me? Oh yes, said she, and made I flatter myself. No little proficiency. You're a good girl, cried he, a very extraordinary girl.  But he's a noble young fellow and behaves with a courage and spirit that does me good to behold. To have obtained you, he would have moved heaven and earth, but finding you out of his reach, he submits to his fate like a man. Cecilia's eyes glistened at this speech. Yes, said she. He long since said it is suspense its hope that make the misery of life. For there the passions have all path and reason has none. But when evils are irremediable and we have neither resources to plan nor casual building to dilute us, we find time for the cultivation of philosophy and flatter ourselves perhaps that we have found inclination. Why? You have considered this matter very deeply, said he, but I must not have you give way to these serious reflections. That, after all, has a cruel spite against happiness. I would have you, therefore, keep as much as you conveniently can out of its company. Run about and divert yourself. It's all you have for it. The true art of happiness in this most whimsical world seems nothing more or less than this. Let those who have leisure find employment and those who have business find leisure. He then told her that Mr. Delwein Sr. was much better and no longer confined to his room and that he had had the pleasure of seeing an entire reconciliation take place between him and his son, of whom he was more fond and more proud than any other father in the universe. Think of him, however. My dear young lady, he continued, no more, for the matter I see is desperate.  When I confess to you, I could not help proposing to the old gentleman an expedient of my own. For as I could not drive you out of my head, I employed myself in thinking what might be done by way of accommodation. Now, my scheme was really a very good one, only when people are prejudiced, all reasoning is thrown away upon them. I proposed, sinking both your names, since they are so at variance with one another and so adopting a third by means of a title. But, Mr. Delwai angrily declared that though such a scheme might do very well for the needy Lord Ernolf a pair of twenty years, his own noble ancestors should never, by his consent forfeit a name which so many centuries had rendered honourable. His son Mortimer he added must inevitably inherit the title of his grandfather, his uncle being old and unmarried. But yet he would rather see him a beggar than lose his dearest hope that Delwai, Lord Delwai, would descend both name and title from generation to generation unsullied and uninterrupted. I am sorry indeed said Cecilia that such a proposal was made and I earnestly entreat that none of any sort may be repeated. Well, well said he, I would not for the world do any mischief but who would not have supposed such a proposal would have done good? Mr. Mortimer he then added is to meet us at for he would not. He said come again to this place upon such terms as he was here last week for the whole work of the king's dominions. The carriage was now ready and Mrs. Delwai was prepared to depart. Cecilia approached to take leave of her but Dr. Leicester following said no talking, no thanking, no compliments of any sort. I shall carry off my patient without permitting one civil speech and for all the rudeness I make her guilty of I'm willing to be responsible. Cecilia would then have retreated but Mrs. Delwai holding out both her hands said to everything else Dr. Leicester I'm content to submit but were I to die while uttering the words I cannot leave this in esteemable creature without first saying how much I love her how I honor and how I thank her without entreating her to be careful of her health and conjuring her to complete the greatness of her conduct by not suffering her spirits to sink from the exertion of her virtue and now my love God bless you. She then embraced her and went on Cecilia at a motion of Dr. Leicester for bearing to follow her and thus cried she when they were gone thus ends all my connection with this family which it seems as if I was only to have known for the purpose of affording a new proof of the insufficiency of the situation to constitute happiness who looks not upon mine as the perfection of human felicity and so perhaps it is for it may be that felicity and humanity are never permitted to come nearer and thus in philosophic sadness by reasoning upon the universality of misery she restrained at least all violence of sorrow though her spirits were dejected and her heart was heavy but the next day brought with it some comfort that a little lightened her sadness Mrs. Charlton almost wholly recovered was able to go downstairs and Cecilia had at least the satisfaction of seeing an happy conclusion to an illness of which with the utmost concern and regret she considered herself as the cause she attended her with the most unremitting acidity and being really very time full endeavoured to appear happy she considered herself that by continual effort the appearance in a short time would become reality Mrs. Charlton retired early and Cecilia accompanied her upstairs and while she was with her was informed that Mr. Mountain was in the parlor the various afflicting and uncommon scenes which she had been engaged since she last saw him had almost wholly driven him from her remembrance or when at any time he recurred to it it was only to attribute the discontinience of his visits to the offence she had given him in refusing to follow his advice by relinquishing her London expedition till therefore of the modifying transactions which had passed since their batting and fearful of his enquiries into disgraces he had nearly foretold she heard him announced with chagrin and waited upon him in the most painful confusion part different were the feelings of Mr. Mountain he read in her countenance the dejection of disappointment impressed upon his heart the velocity of hope her evident shame was to him secret triumph her ill-concealed sorrow revived all his expectations she hastily began a conversation by mentioning her death to him and apologizing for not paying it the moment she was of age he knew but too well how her time had been occupied and assured her the delay was wholly immaterial he then led to an enquiry into the present situation of her affairs but unable to endure a disquisition which could only be productive of censure and modification she hastily stopped it exclaiming I acknowledge all your wisdom I am sensible of my own error but the affair is wholly dropped and the unhappy connection I was forming is broken off forever little now was Mr. Mountain's effort in repressing his death and his death little now was Mr. Mountain's effort in repressing his further curiosity and he started other subjects with readiness, gaity and edress he mentioned Mrs. Charlton for whom he had not the smallest regard he talked to her of Mrs. Harrell whose very existence was indifferent to him and he spoke of their common acquaintance in the country for not one of whom he would have grieved if assured of meeting no more his powers of conversation were enlivened by his hopes and his exhilarated spirits made all subjects seem happy to him a weight was removed from his mind which had nearly burned down even his remotest hopes the object of his eager pursuit seemed still within his reach and the rival into whose power he had so lately almost beheld her delivered was totally renounced and no longer bedreaded a revolution such as this raised expectations more sanguine than ever and in quitting the house he exultingly considered himself released from every obstacle to his views till, just as he arrived home he recollected his wife For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recorded by Cecilia, Memorials of Inherus by Francis Burney Volume 8, Chapter 9 A Tale A week passed during which Cecilia however sad spent her time as usual with the family denying to herself all voluntary indulgence of grief and for bearing to seek consolation from solitude or relief from tears She never named Delville She begged Mrs. Shelton never to mention him She called to her aid the account she had received from Dr. Leister of his firmness and endeavored by an emulous ambition to fortify her mind from the weakness of depression and regret This week, a week of struggle with all her feelings was just elapsed when she received by the post the following letter from Mrs. Delville Timis Beverly, Bristol, October 21 My sweet young friend will not I hope be sorry to hear of my safe arrival at this place To me, every account of her health and welfare will ever be the intelligence I shall most covet to receive Yet, I mean not to ask for it in return To chance, I will trust for information and I only write now to say I shall write no more Too much for thanks is what I owe you and what I think of you is beyond all power of expression Do not then wish me ill ill as I have seemed to merit of you for my own heart is almost broken by the tyranny I have been compelled to practice upon yours And now, let me bid a long adieu to you My admirable Cecilia You shall not be tormented with a useless correspondence which can only awaken painful recollections or give rise to yet more painful new anxieties Forvently will I pray for the restoration of your happiness to which nothing can so greatly contribute as that wise that uniform command so feminine yet so dignified you maintain over your passions which often I have admired though never so feelingly as at this conscious moment when my own health is the sacrifice of emotions most fatally unrestrained Send to me no answer even if you have the sweetness to wish it Every new proof of the generosity of your nature is to me but a new wound Forget us therefore, holy Alas, you have only known us for sorrow Forget us, dear and invaluable Cecilia Though ever as you have nobly deserved must you be fondly and gratefully remembered by Augusta Delweyle The attempted philosophy and labored resignation of Cecilia this letter destroyed The struggle was over The apathy was at an end and she burst into an agony of tears which finding the vent they had long sought now flowed unchecked down her cheeks sad monitors of the weakness of reason opposed to the anguish of sorrow A letter at once so caressing yet so absolute forced its way to her heart in spite of the fortitude she had flattered herself was its guard In giving up Delweyle she was satisfied of the propriety of saying him no more unconvinced that even to talk of him would be folly and imprudence but to be told that for the future they must remain strangers to the existence of each other there seemed in this a hardship a rigor that was insupportable or what cried she as human nature in its best state how imperfect that a woman such as this so noble in character, so elevated in sentiment with heroism to sacrifice to her sense of duty the happiness of her son whom with joy she would die to serve can herself be thus governed by prejudice thus enslaved, thus subdued by opinion yet never even when miserable unjust or irrational her grief was unmixed with anger and her tears streamed not from resent but affliction the situation of Mrs. Delweyle however different she considered to be as wretched as her own she read therefore with sadness but not bitterness her farewell and received not with disdain but with gratitude her sympathy yet though her intimation was not irritated her sufferance were doubled by a farewell so kind yet so despotic a sympathy so affectionate yet so hopeless in this first indulgence of grief she had granted to her disappointment she was soon interrupted by assignments downstairs to a gentleman unfit and unwilling to be seen she begged that he might leave his name and appoint a time for calling again her maid brought for answer that he believed his name was unknown to her and desired to see her now unless she was employed in some matter of moment she then put up her letter and went into the parlour and there to her infinite amazement we held Mr. Albany how little sir she cried did I expect this pleasure this pleasure repeated he do you call it what strange abuse of words what causeless trifling with honesty as language of no purpose but to wound the ear with unshoots is the gift of speech only granted us to pervert the use of understanding I can give you no pleasure I have no power to give it to anyone you can give none to me the whole world could not invest you with the means well sir said Cecilia who had little spirit to defend herself I will not vindicate the expression but of this I will unfaithfully assure you I'm at least as glad to see you just now as I should be to see anybody your eyes cried he are red your voice is in articulate young rich and attractive the world at your feet that world yet untried and its falsehood unknown how have you thus found means to anticipate emissary which way have you uncovered the cauldron of human woes fatal and early anticipation that cover once removed can never be replaced those woes those boiling woes will pour out upon you continually and only when your heart ceases to beat will their emulation cease to torture you alas cried Cecilia shuddering how cruel yet how true why went you cried he to the cauldron it came not to you misery seeks not man but man misery he walks out in the sun but stops not for a cloud confident he pursues his way till the storm which gathering he might have avoided bursts over his devoted head scared and amazed he repents his temerity he calls but it is then too late he runs but it is thunder which follows him such is the presumption of man such at once is the arrogance and shallowness of his nature and thou simple and blind has thou too followed with the fancy has led thee unheeding that thy career was too vehement for tranquility now missing that lovely companion of youth's early innocence till adventurous and unthinking thou has lost her forever in the present week state of Cecilia's spirits this attack was too much for her and the tears she had just and with difficulty restrained again forced their way down her cheeks as she answered it is but too true I have lost her forever poor thing said he while the rigor of his countenance was suffered into gentlest commissuration so young looking too so innocent it's hard and is nothing left thee no small remaining hope to cheat humanely cheat thy yet not wholly extinguished credulity Cecilia wept without answering let me not said he waste my compassion upon nothing compassion is with me no effusion of effectation tell me then if thou deserved it or if thy misfortunes are imaginary and thy griff is fictitious fictitious repeated she good heaven answer me then these questions in which I shall comprise the only calamities for which sorrow has no control or none from human motives tell me then have you lost by death the friend of your bosom no is your fortune dissipated by extravagance and your power of relieving the distressed at an end no the power and the will are I hope equally undiminished oh then unhappy girl have you been guilty of some vice and hanks removes does heavy on your consigns no no thank heaven to that misery at least I'm a stranger his countenance now again resumed its severity and in the sternest manner whence then he said these tears and what is this capris you dignify with the name of sorrow strange wantonness of indolence and luxury perverse repining of ungrateful plenitude oh hacks down on what I have suffered could I listen what you have suffered said Cecilia I should sincerely rejoice but heavy indeed must be your affliction if mine in its comparison deserves to be styled a capris capris repeated he its joy its ecstasy compared with mine thou has not in licentiousness wasted thy inheritance thou has not by remorse but each avenue to enjoyment nor yet has the cold grip seized the beloved of thy soul neither said Cecilia I hope other evils you have yourself sustained so irremediable yes I have borne them all I have borne I bear them still I shall bear them while I breathe I may rue them perhaps yet longer good god cried Cecilia shrinking what a world is this how full of war and wickedness yet thou too canst complain cried he though happy in life's only blessing innocence thou too canst murmur though stranger to death's only terror sin or yet if thy sorrow is interluted with guilt be regardless of all else and rejoice in thy destiny but who cried she deeply sighing shall teach me such a lesson of joy when all within rises to opposite I cried he will teach it thee for I will tell thee my own sad story then will thou find how much happier is thy lot then will thou raise thy head in thankful triumph oh no triumph comes not so lightly yet if you will venture to trust me with some account of yourself I shall be glad to hear it and much obliged by the communication I will he answered whatever I may suffer to awaken thee from this dream of fancied sorrow I will open all my wounds and thou shall probe them with fresh shame no indeed cried Cecilia with quickness I will not hear you if the relation will be so painful upon me this humanity is lost said he since punishment and penitence alone give me comfort I will tell thee therefore my crimes that thou mayest know thy own felicity lest ignorant it means nothing but innocence thou should lose it unconscious of its value listen then to me and learn what misery is guilt is alone the basis of lasting happiness guilt is the basis of mine and therefore I'm a wretch forever Cecilia would again have declined hearing him but he refused to be spared and as her curiosity had long been excited to know something of his history and the motives of his extraordinary conduct she was glad to have it satisfied and gave him the utmost attention I will not speak to you of my family said he historical accuracy would little answer to either of us I'm a native of the West Indies and I was early sent hither to be educated while I was yet at the university I saw I adored and I pursued the fairest flower that ever put forth its sweet buds the softest heart that ever was broken by ill usage she was poor and unprotected the daughter of a villager she was untaught and unpretending the child of simplicity but 15 summers had she bloomed and her heart was an easy conquest yet once made mine it resisted all allurement to infidelity my fellow students attacked her she was assaulted by all the arts of seduction flattery, bribery, supplication all were employed yet all failed she was wholly my own and with sincerity so attractive I determined to marry her in defiance of all worldly objections the sudden death of my father called me hastily to Jamaica I feared leaving this treasure unguarded in decency could neither marry nor take her directly I pledged my faith therefore to return to her as soon as I had settled my affairs and I left to a bosom friend the inspection of her conduct in my absence to leave her was madness the trust in man was madness oh hateful race how has the world been aberrant to me since that time? I have loathed the light of the sun I have shrunk from the commerce of my fellow creatures the voice of man I have detested his sight I have abominated but oh more than all should I be abominated myself when I came to my fortune intoxicated with sudden power I forgot this fair blossom I rebelled in licentiousness and wise and left it exposed and fallen riot followed riot till a fever incurred by my own intemperance first gave me time to think then was she revenged for then first remorse was my portion her image was brought back to my mind with frantic fondness and bitterest contrition the moment I recovered I returned to England I flew to claim her but she was lost no one knew with her she was gone the wretch I had trusted pretended to know least of all yet after a furious search I traced her to a cottage where he had concealed her himself when she saw me she screamed and would have flown I stopped her and told her I came faithfully and honorably to make her my wife her own faith and honor though solid were not extinguished for she instantly acknowledged the fatal tale of her undoing did I recompense this ingeniousness this unexampled this beautiful sacrifice to intuitive integrity yes with my curses I loaded her with execrations I reviled her in language the most appropriate I insulted her even for her confession I invoked all evil upon her from the bottom of my heart she knelt at my feet she implored my forgiveness and compassion she wept with the bitterness of despair and yet I spurned her from me spurned let me not hide my shame I barbariously struck her nor single was the blow it was doubled it was reiterated oh wretch unyielding and unpitying where shall hereafter be clemency for thee so fair a form so young a culprit so infamously seduced so humbly penitent in this miserable condition helpless and deplorable mangled by these savage hands and reviled by this inhuman tongue I left her in search of the villain who had destroyed her but cowardly as treacherous he had absconded repenting my fury I hastened to her again the fierceness of my cruelty shamed me when I grew calmer the softness of her sorrow melted me upon recollection I returned therefore to soothe her but again she was gone terrified with expectation of insult she hid herself from all my inquiries I wandered in search of her too long years to no purpose regardless of my affairs and of all things but that pursuit at length I thought I saw her in London alone and walking in the streets at midnight I fearfully followed her and followed her into an house of infamy the wretched by whom she was surrounded were noisy and drinking they heeded me little but she saw and knew me at once she did not speak nor did I but in two moments she fainted and fell yet did I not help her the people took their own measures to recover her and when she was again able to stand would have removed her to another apartment I then went forward and forcing them away from her with all the strength of desperation I turned to the unhappy sinner who to chance only seemed to leave what became of her and cried from this scene of wise and horror let me yet rescue you you look still unfit for such society trust yourself therefore to me I seized her hand I drew I almost dragged her away she trembled she could scare stutter but neither consented nor refused neither shed a tear nor spoke a word and her countenance presented a picture of a fright amazement and horror I took her to a house in the country each of us silent the whole way I gave her an apartment and a female attendant and ordered for her every convenience I could suggest I stayed myself in the same house but distracted with remorse for the guilt and ruin into which I had terrified her I could not bear her sight in a few days her maid Ashiadmi the life she led must destroy her that she would taste nothing but bread and water never spoke and never slept alarmed by this account I flew into her apartment frightened resentment gave way to pity and fondness and I besought her to take comfort I spoke however to a statue she replied not nor seemed to hear me I then humbled myself to her as in the days of her innocence and first part supplicating her notice and treating even her commissuration all was to no purpose she neither received nor repulsed me and was alike inattentive to exhortation and to prayer who last did I spend at her feet wowing never to arise till she spoke to me all, all in vain she seemed deaf, mute, insensible her face unmoved a settled despair fixed in her eyes those eyes that had never looked at me but with doubt like softness and compliance she sat constantly in one chair she never changed her dress no persuasions could prevail with her to lie down and at meals she just swallowed so much dry bread as might save her from dying for want of food what was the distraction of my soul to find her bent upon this coast to her last hour quick came that hour but never will it be forgotten rapidly it was gone but eternally it will be remembered when she felt herself expiring she acknowledged she had made a vow upon entering the house to live speechless and motionless as a penance for her offences I kept her left corpse till my own senses failed me it was then only turned from me and I have lost all recollection of three years of my existence Cecilia shuddered at this hint yet was not surprised by it Mr. Gosport had acquainted her that he had been formally confined and his flightiness, wildness florid language an extraordinary way of life had long led her to suspect his reason had been impaired the scene to which my memory first leads me back he continued is visiting her grave solemnly upon it I returned her vow though not by one of equal severity to her poor remains did I pledge myself that the day should never pass in which I would receive nourishment nor the night come in which I would take rest till I had done or zealously attempted to do some service to a fellow creature for this purpose have I wandered from city to city from the town to the country and from the rich to the poor I go into every house where I can gain admittance I admonish all who will hear me I shame even those who will not I seek the distressed wherever they are hid I follow the prosperous to beg a might to serve them I look for the dissipated and public where at missed their licentiousness I check them I pursue the unhappy in private where I counsel and endeavor to assist them my own power is small my relations during my sufferings limiting me to an annuity but there is no one I scribble to solicit and by zeal I supply ability or life of hardship and penance laborious, toilsome and restless but I have merited no better and I will not repinate it I have vowed that I will endure it and I will not be force-worn one indulgence alone from time to time I allow myself it is music which has part to delight me even to rapture it quite all anxiety it carries me out of myself I forget through it every calamity even the bitterest anguish now then that thou hast heard me tell me hast thou cause of sorrow alas cried Cecilia this indeed is a picture of misery to make my lot seem all happiness art thou thus open to conviction cry thee mildly and thus thou not fly the voice of truth for truth and reproof are one no, I would rather seek it I feel myself wretched however inadequate may be the cause I wish to be more resigned and if you can instruct me how I shall thankfully attend to you oh yet uncorrupted creature cry thee but joy will I be thy monitor joy long untasted many have I wished to serve all hither to have rejected my offices too honest to flatter them they had not the fortitude to listen to me too low to advance them they had not the virtue to bear with me you alone have I yet found pure enough not to fear inspection and good enough to wish to be better yet words alone will not content me I must also have deeds nor will your purse however readily open suffice you must give to me also your time and your thoughts for money sent by others to others only will afford relief to enlighten your own cares you must distribute it yourself you shall find me said she a docile pupil and most glad to be instructed how my existence may be useful happy then cried he was the art that brought me to this country yet not in search of you did I come but of the mutable and ill-fated bell field erring yet ingenious young man what a lesson to the vanity of talents the gaity the brilliancy of wit is the sight of that green fallen plant not sapless by age not withered by disease but destroyed by want of pruning and bending and breaking by its own luxuriance and where sir is he now laboring willfully in the field with those who labor compulsorily such as we all by nature discontented perverse and changeable though all have not courage to appear so and few like bellfield are worth watching when they do he told me he was happy I knew it could not be but his employment was inoffensive and I left him without a reproach in this neighborhood I heard of you and found your name was coupled with praise I came to see if you deserved it I have seen and am satisfied you are not then very difficult for I have yet done nothing how are we to begin these operations you propose you have awakened me by them to an expectation of pleasure which nothing else I believe just now have given me we will work, cry he, together till not a whore shall remain upon your mind the blessings of the fatherless the prayers of little children shall heal all your wounds with balm of sweetest fragments when sad they shall cheer when complaining they shall soothe you they will go to their ruthless houses and see them repaired we will exclude from their dwellings the inculmency of the weather we will clothe them from cold we will rescue them from hunger the cries of distress shall be changed to notes of joy your heart shall be enraptured mine too shall revive oh, wither am I van dering I am painting an Elysium and while I idly speak some painting object dies for want of suckle farewell, I will fly to the boats of wretchedness and come to you tomorrow to render them the boats of happiness he then went away this singular visit was for Cecilia most fortunately timed it almost surprised her out of her peculiar griff by the view which it opened to her of general calamity wild, flighty and imaginative as were his language and his counsels their morality was striking and their benevolence was affecting taught by him to compare her state with that of at least half her species she began more candidly to weigh what was left with what was withdrawn and found the balance in her favor the plan he had presented to her of good works was consonant to her character and inclinations and the active charity in which he proposed to engage her reanimated her fallen hopes though to far different subjects from those which had depressed them any scheme of worldly happiness would have succent and disgusted her but her mind was just in the situation to be impressed with elevated piety and to adopt any design in which virtue humored melancholy End of Chapter 9 Volume 8, Chapter 10 of Cecilia this is a labour works recording all labour works recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit labourworks.org recorded by Valli Cecilia, Memoirs of Inheris by Francis Burney Volume 8, Chapter 10 a shock Cecilia passed the rest of the day in fanciful projects of beneficence she determined to wander with her romantic new ally whether so ever he would lead her and to spare neither fortune, time, nor trouble in seeking and relieving the distressed not all her attempted philosophy had calmed her mind like this plan in nearly refusing indulgence to grief she had only locked it up in her heart where eternally struggling for vent she was almost overpowered by restraining it but now her affliction had no longer her whole faculties to itself the hope of doing good the pleasure of easing pain the intention of devoting her time to the surface of the unhappy once more delighted her imagination that source of promissory enjoyment which though often obstructed is never in youth exhausted she would not give Mrs. Charlton the unnecessary pain of hearing the letter with which she had been so much affected but she told her of the visit of Albany and pleased her with the account of their scheme at night with less sadness than usual she retired to rest in her sleep she bestowed riches and poured plenty upon the land she humbled the oppressor she exalted the oppressed slaves were raised to dignities captives restored to liberty beggars saw smiling abundance and wretchedness was vanished from the world from a cloud in which she was supported by angels Cecilia beheld these wonders and while enjoying the glorious illusion she was awakened by her maid with news that Mrs. Charlton was dying she started up and unrest was running to her apartment when the maid calling to stop her confessed she was already dead she had made her exit in the night the time was not exactly known her own maid who slept in the room with her going earlier to her bedside to inquire how she did found her cold and motionless and could only conclude that a pyrolytic stroke had taken her off happily and in good time had Cecilia been somewhat recruited by one night of refreshing slumbers and flattering dreams for the shock she now received promised her not soon another she lost in Mrs. Charlton a friend whom nearly from her infancy she had considered as a mother and by whom she had been cherished with tenderness almost unequaled she was not a woman of bright parts or much cultivation but her heart was excellent and her disposition was amiable Cecilia had known her longer than her memory could look back though the earliest circumstances she could trace were kindnesses received from her since she had entered into life and found the difficulty of the part she had to act to this worthy old lady alone had she unbozomed her sacred cares though little assisted by her counsel she was always certain of her sympathy and while her own superior judgment directed her conduct she had the relief of communicating her schemes and weighing her perplexities with her friend to whom nothing that concerned her was indifferent and whose greatest wish and chief pleasure was the enjoyment of her conversation if left to herself in the present period of her life Mrs. Charlton had certainly not been the friend of her choice the delicacy of her mind the refinement of her ideas had now rendered her fastidious and she would have looked out for elegancies and talents to which Mrs. Charlton had no pretensions but those who live in the country have little power of selection confined to a small circle they must be content with what it offers and however they may idolize extraordinary merit when they meet with it they must not regard it as essential to friendship for in their circumscribed rotation whatever may be their discontent they may make but little change such had been the situation to which Mrs. Charlton and Mrs. Harrell owed the friendship of Cecilia greatly their superior in understanding and intelligence had the candidates for her favor been more numerous the election had not fallen upon either of them but she became known to both before discrimination made her difficult and when her enlightened mind discerned their deficiencies they had already an interest in her affections which made her see them with lenity and though sometimes perhaps conscious she should not have chosen them from many she adhered to them with sincerity and would have changed them for none Mrs. Harrell however two weeks for similar sentiments forgot her when out of sight and by the time they met again was insensible to everything but shew and dissipation Cecilia Charlton surprised first grieved from disappointed affection and then lost that affection in angry contempt but her fondness for Mrs. Charlton had never known abatement as the kindness which had excited it had never known alley she had loved her first from childish gratitude but that love strengthened and confirmed by confidential intercourse was now as sincere and affectionate as if it had originated from sympathetic admiration her loss therefore was felt with the utmost severity and neither seeing nor knowing any means of replacing it she considered it as irreparable and mount it with bitterness when the first surprise of this cruel stroke was somewhat lessened she sent an express to Mr. Mountain with the news and entreated to see him immediately he came without delay and she begged his council what step she ought herself to take in consequence of this event her own house was still unprepared for her she had off late neglected to hasten the workmen and almost forgotten her intention of entering it it was necessary however to change her abut immediately she was no longer in the house of Mrs. Charlton but of her granddaughters and co-heiraces each of whom she disliked and upon neither of whom she had any claim Mr. Mountain then with the quickness of a man who others are thought at the very moment of its projection mentioned a scheme upon which during his whole ride he had been ruminating which was that she would instantly remove to his house and remained there till settled to her satisfaction Cecilia objected her little ride of surprising lady Margaret but without waiting to discuss it lest new objections should arise he quitted her to fetch himself from her ladyship an invitation he meant to insist upon her sending Cecilia though heartily disliking this plan knew not at present what better to adopt and thought anything preferable to going again to Mrs. Harrell since that could only be done by feeding the anxiety of Mr. Arnold Mr. Mountain soon returned with a message of his own fabrication for his lady though obliged to receive whom he pleased took care to guard, inviolate the independence of speech suddenly, personally in refusing to say anything or perversely saying only what he least wished to hear Cecilia then took a hasty leave of Miss Charlton who little affected by what they had lost and eager to examine what they had gained parted from her gladly and with a heavy heart and weeping eyes borrowed for the last time the carriage of her late worthy old friend and forever quitting her hospitable house sorrowfully set out for the grove End of Chapter 10 Volume 9, Chapter 1 of Cecilia This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recorded by Valli Cecilia, The Moise of Inheris by Francis Burney Volume 9, Chapter 1 A Cogitation Lady Margaret Mountain received Cecilia with the most gloomy coldness She apologized for the liberty she had taken in making use of her Ladyship's house but meeting no return of civility she withdrew to the room which had been prepared for her and resolved as much as possible to keep out of her sight It now became necessary without delay to settle her plan of life and fix her place of residence The forbidding looks of Lady Margaret made her hasten her resolves which otherwise would for a while have given way to grieve for her recent misfortune She sent for the surveyor who had the superintendents of her estates to inquire how soon her own house would be fit for her reception and heard there was yet work for near two months This answer made her very uncomfortable To continue two months under the roof with Lady Margaret was a penance she could not enjoy herself nor was she at all sure Lady Margaret would submit to it any better She determined therefore to release herself from the conscious burden of being an unwelcome visitor by boarding with some creditable family at Burry and devoting the two months in which she was to be kept from her house to a general arrangement of her affairs and a final settling with her guardians For these purposes it would be necessary she should go to London but with whom or in what manner she could not decide She desired therefore another conference with Mr. Moncton who met her in the parlour She then communicated to him her schemes and begged his counsel in her perplexities He was delighted at the application and extremely well pleased with her design of boarding at Burry Well-knowing, he could then watch and visit her at his pleasure and have far more comfort in her society than even in his own house where all the vigilance with which he observed her was short of that with which he was himself observed by Lady Margaret He endeavored however to dissuade her from going to town but her eagerness to pay the large sum she owed him was now too great to be conquered Of age, her fortune wholly in her power and all attendance upon Mrs. Charlton at an end she had no longer any excuse for having a debt in the world and would suffer no persuasion to make her begin her career in life with negligence in settling her accounts which she had so often censured in others To go to London therefore she was fixed and all that she desired was his advice concerning the journey He then told her that in order to settle with her guardians she must write to them in form to demand an account of the sums that had been expended during her minority and announce her intention for the future to take the management of her fortune into her own hands She immediately followed his directions and consented to remain at the grove till their answers arrived Being now therefore unavoidably fixed for some time in the house she thought it proper and decent to attempt softening Lady Margaret in her favour She exerted all her powers to please and to oblige her but the exertion was necessarily vain not only from the disposition but the situation of her ladyship Since every effort made for this conciliatory purpose rendered her doubly amiable in the eyes of her husband and consequently to herself more odious than ever Her jealousy already but too well founded received every hour the poisonous nourishment of fresh conviction which so much soared and exasperated a temper naturally harsh that her malignity and ill-humour grew daily more acrimonious Nor would she have consented herself with displaying this irascibility by general morose-ness had not the same suspicious watchfulness which discovered to her the passion of her husband served equally to make manifest the indifference and innocence of Cecilia To reproach her therefore she had not any pretense though her knowledge how much she had to dread her passed parent in her mind for sufficient reason to hate her The angry and the violent use little discrimination whom they like the inquire not if they approve but however no matter how unwittingly stands in their way they scruple not to ill-use and conclude they may laudably detest Cecilia though much disgusted gave not over her attempt which she considered but as her due while she continued in her house Her general character also for pivish-ness and haughty ill-breeding skilfully from time to time displayed and artfully repined it by Mr. Mountain still kept her from suspecting any peculiar animosity to herself and made her impute all that past to the mere ranker of ill-humour She confined herself however as much as possible to her own apartment where her sorrowful Mrs. Charlton almost early increased by the comparison she was opposed upon making of her house with the grove That worthy old lady left her grand-daughters her co-heiruses and sole executrixes She bequeathed from them nothing considerable though she left some donations for the poor and several of her friends were remembered by small legacies Among them Cecilia had her picture and favourite trinkets with a pyrograph in her will that as there was no one she so much loved had her fortune been less splendid she should have shared with her grand-daughters whatever she had to bestow Cecilia was much affected by this last and solemn remembrance She more than ever coveted to be alone that she might grieve undisturbed and she lamented without seizing the fatigue and the illness which in so late a period as it proved of her life she had herself been the means of occasioning to her Mr. Mountain had too much prudence to interrupt this desire of solitude which indeed caused him little pain as he considered her least in danger when alone She received in about a week answers from both her guardians Mr. Del Weil's letter was closely to the purpose without a word but of business and couched in the hottest terms as he had never he said acted he had no accounts to send him but as he was going to town in a few days he would see her for a moment in the presence of Mr. Briggs that a joint release might be signed to prevent any further application to him Cecilia much lamented there was any necessity for her seeing him at all and looked forward to the interview as the greatest modification she could suffer Mr. Briggs though still more concise was far kinder in his language but he advised her to defer her scheme of taking the money into her own hands assuring her she would be cheated and had better leave it to him when she communicated there's epistols to Mr. Mountain he failed not to read with an emphasis by which his arrogant meaning was still more arrogantly enforced the letter of Mr. Del Weil allowed nor was he sparing in comments that might render it yet more offensive Cecilia later concurred in what he said nor opposed it but contended herself when he was silent with producing the other letter Mr. Mountain read not this with more favor he openly attacked the character of Briggs as covetous, rapacious and overreaching and warned her by no means to abide by his counsel without first taking the opinion of some disinterested person he then stated the various arts which might be practiced upon her inexperience and enumerated the dangers to which her ignorance of business exposed her and annotated about the cheats, double dealings and tricks of stock-jobbing to which he assured her Mr. Briggs owed all he was worth until perplexed and confounded she declared herself at a loss how to proceed and earnestly regretted that she could not have his counsel upon the spot this was his aim to draw the wish from her drew all suspicion of selfish views from himself and he told her that he considered her present situation as so critical the future confusion or regularity of her money transactions seeming to depend upon it that he would endeavor to arrange his affairs for meeting her in London Cecilia gave him many thanks for the kind intention and determined to be totally guided by him in a disposal and direction of her fortune meantime he had now another part to act he saw that with Cecilia nothing more remained to be done and that harboring not a doubt of his motives she thought his design in her favor did her nothing but honor but he had too much knowledge of the world to believe it would judge him in the same manner and too much consciousness of duplicity to set its judgment at defiance to parry therefore the conjectures which might follow his attending her he had already prepared Lady Margaret to wish herself of the party for however disagreeable to him was her presence and her company he had no other means to be under the same roof with Cecilia Miss Bennet the wretched tool of his various schemes and the mean psychopath of his lady had been employed by him to work upon her jealousy by secretly informing her of his intention to go to town at the same time that Cecilia went tither to meet her guardians she pretended to have learned this intelligence by accident and to communicate it from respectful regard and advised her to go to London herself at the same time that she might seem to his designs and be some check upon his pleasure the increasing informities of Lady Margaret made this council by no means palatable but Miss Bennet following the artful instructions which she received put in her way so strong a motive by assuring her how little her company was wished that in the madness of her spite she determined upon the journey and little heeding how she tormented herself while she had any view of tormenting Mr. Mountain she was led on by her false confident to invite Cecilia to her own house Mr. Mountain in whom by long practice Artifice was almost nature well knowing his wife's perverseness affected to look much disconcerted at the proposal while Cecilia by no means thinking it necessary to extend her compliance to such a punishment instantly made an apology and declined the invitation Lady Margaret little worst in civility and unused to the arts of persuasion could not even for a favourite project prevail upon herself to use entreaty and therefore thinking her scheme defeated looked globally disappointed and said nothing more Mr. Mountain saw with delight how much of this difficulty inflamed her though the moment he could speak alone with Cecilia he made it his care to remove it he represented to her that however privately she might live she was too young to be in London lodgings by herself and gave an hint which she could not but understand that in going or in staying with only servants suspicions might soon be raised that the plan and motive of her journey were different to those given out she knew he meant to insinuate that it would be conjectured she designed to meet Delville and though colouring and waxed and provoked at the suggestion the idea was sufficient to frighten her into his plan in a few days therefore the matter was wholly arranged Mr. Mountain by his skill and address leading everyone wither he pleased while by the artful coolness of his manner he appeared but to follow himself he set out the day before though earnestly wishing to accompany them but having as yet in no single instance gone to town in the same carriage with Lady Margaret he dared trust neither the neighborhood nor the servants with so dangerous a subject for their comments Cecilia compelled us to travel with only her ladyship and Miss Bennet had a journey the most disagreeable and determined if possible the stay in London but two days she had already fixed upon a house in which she could board at Bury when she returned and there she meant quietly to reside till she could enter her own Lady Margaret herself exhilarated by a notion of having outmitted her husband was in unusual good spirits and almost in good humour the idea of plotting his designs and being in the way of his entertainment gave to her a delight she had seldom received from anything and the belief that this was affected by the superiority of her cunning doubled her contentment and raised it to exaltation she owed him indeed much provocation and uneasiness and was happy in this opportunity of paying her arrears meanwhile the consummate master in every species of hypocrisy indulged her in this notion by the air of dissatisfaction with which he left the house it was not that she meant by her presence to obviate any propriety early and long acquainted with the character of Cecilia she well knew that during her life the passion of her husband must be confined to his own breast but conscious of his aversion to herself which she resented with the bitterest ill will and knowing how little at any time he desired her company she consoled herself for her inability to give pleasure by the power she possessed of giving pain and more with fatigue of a journey disagreeable and inconvenient to her with no other view than the hope of breaking into his plan of avoiding her little imagining that the whole time she was forwarding his favourite pursuit and only acting the part which he had appointed her to perform End of chapter 1


What's up everybody jason from jazby's case breaks calm 2021 panini chronicle soccer just sold out This is a two box. Hobby break random club number three All right, so 20 total spots guys everybody gets a random Club from La Liga EPL teams and series 18 So we'll randomize the customer names Then we'll randomize each 20 teams from each league and then everybody gets a random Team from each one of those leagues and then of course all-card ship box break three autographs I remember really cards per box 10 parallels. So again, here's a lot of Liga teams There is the Premier League teams and the series eight teams So there you go. So here's a dice roll again. Here's the customer names from Josh Puz down to Michael And you got the three different leagues right there So good luck guys Roll it It's a three and a six for nine times. Good luck one two three four five six seven eight Peter down to Aaron. All right, we go next one first one one two three four five six seven Eight. All righty. There you go, and then we'll go right here nine times one two three four five six seven eight nine Sheffield United down to Arsenal nine times one two three four five six seven eight All right, there you go That's a Peter. There's your three teams right there. Actually me actually make this just a little bit bigger.  I'm nothing with the Madrid. I know some of these teams. I wish I knew all of them though Robert Taylor Alex again there Marco Josh Bruce Evie Michael and Evie Peter Taylor And then we're gonna get right there. All right. Well, I'm assuming that You'd probably would have to trade Probably would have to trade all of your clubs. I'm assuming right Let's do I don't make sure that so ends up being the same right Alex. You had to let the good club right How I'm gonna hold in this? Yeah Yeah, yeah, but that's the one that works All right, so I alphabetize the guys just so that way easier for the sorting team Arsenal Aaron, you know, it's crazy. I didn't I didn't see it on Saturday guys, but Wasn't there someone that collapsed on Saturday? So my brother's telling me I was busy that morning, but thankfully I did it Like it were sets. He didn't mind. He's stable right now All right, well, I'm assuming no one's gonna trade right so let's just close the trade window Well, the cool thing about our chronicles is they get all three leagues Kind of ends up being pretty cool Yeah Well, was it a heart attack or Well, I think it was cardiac arrest right heart attack is more like when is it just a little different? But I guess it's hard to stop right I always get confused with the two of those but if I remember correctly, I think it was Cardiac And then we're a heart attack. It's more like you got some like blocked arteries But yeah, either way that's pretty scary though Well, yeah, I think I was reading Something online saying that he was like on right like he was legit gone and then Yeah, it legit just brought him back That's wild man. All right guys There we go, so there's one La Liga in series a I've only actually broken Maybe a few of these boxes on instagram Since this release that really gets way too much of it But there's always this some nice stuff and you let me guys know if I miss anybody. That's pretty big, you know I don't watch too much soccer all around the league. So I'll try to at least I can sleep most of the bigger Ricky's Calum Wilson Joe Brian and we have a silver prism of Robert Snodgrass I did hit a Diego Mardona the other day though And a rookie ticket Grady Young Ghana From contenders optic number to 250 West Bromwich Which would be going to Alex Axelow Just like a cool car from full hand Ruben Loftus Loftus cheek Maddie cash One second this All right, sorry guys I got that dropped off really quick shyly Then we had a Matt Phillips West Bromwich and The goal county. All right, so there's the first autograph right there. Let's go to the next one Barela Giuseppe and Antonio Candreva number to 500 a little relic right here From national treasures Oh, yeah national treasure soccer. That's cool and That'll be going to Series A. What is this? You know, you guys know the team of this? What is it? What is it? It usually says it around here I guess you have to look up by the logo I don't know. I can't even don't even put the name on there. I guess we're supposed to know the logos Oh, thank you. Jay Mac Samsoria cool So then that'll go to ea Oh, that's right. Yeah sam uh sams doria. Gotcha mertz a cf Oh, they even have a spectra rookie like this. This is cool and prism rookie Marcello, brosevic latan ibrahimovic and rotrigo Now here we go in third box, which would be la liga We have a oh wow spectra Fatih I know that guy Little silver Anzu Fatih Very nice FC Barcelona Josh Bruce This sounds for insane money Marcello relic to 500 fabrics of the game Real Madrid Go in a nick. We've got a blue numbered Midfielder is uh michel Number 299 That is for real Sociedad Marcos we got Gonzalo Tony Cruz Real Madrid We have a alec And cucho Hernandez All right next box And a silver Fabian Ruiz And we got extra points where I like here to 500 for huvenanthas That'll be going to alex Ocaca We got a numbered five out of five of jacob jonkel our junk tool That is the sams doria Go into ea five out of five We got a louis mariel tonighty We got a rated rookie Sam Lammers We got Antonin We got uh lutarro martinez matheo Politano And ruslan our next one La Liga Guido euros Rafael And we got a geeky Garcia silver Then we got denis suarez A little nt triple relic to 450 Coutinho Michael We got a gerard moreno Eunice mosa melem william Carvalho And dimitrius Silvas All right last one guys All right I got Vicente Jordan And war mendy Fabio silva Jake livermore Tammy abraham And kai Very nice autograph for chelsea Eddie anderson with chelsea five out of 25 from national treasures treasure signatures Very nice very nice right there Zaha, we got tonight and i'm glad to mirror colfell We got lice mosa tonight and i We got matheos perrera Wilford zaha Dwight mcneil for everton And adam or adama And there you go guys So here were the main hits right here guys A little two boxer That kai's a big one. I know he was a big one a few few years ago Or a year or two ago actually. I forget which one was I guess first rookie card year There you go for chelsea There's that one There's a grady. There's a relic right here of denis We got the 505 janto It's got from movanentes Fabric to the game for real madrid It's more silo and fati Silver spectra So there you go guys that was chronicle soccer two box hobby break random club number three If you guys do want to run it back it looks like we still have more boxes available as well And like I said guys a lot of valiant soccer With all leagues in them as it as well But again guys check it out on jaspyscasebreaks.com guys appreciate it