My biggest questions for the NFC North today. Shams will be here. NBA playoffs in full swing.  And what was that last night? Lots of laughs with comedian and actor, Maz DiBronni. He is here as well. Let's get it. YouTube comedy special, The Birds and the Bees. He is here in studio. I just met him. He's got a lot of great energy. So he will be out here. And I, you know, look what the cat dragged in. Matthew Hamilton. I went to the old Lakers game last night. This year has been so amazing. I went to my first Knicks game. And I sat next to Baklava guy. And then I go to the Lakers last night. I can't even tell you where they play. Somewhere downtown in LA. And it was an experience. It sounds like it. And you know, I'm sure you got a few more celebrity sightings than just Bobby Baklava. But yeah, it sounded pretty awesome. Yeah, it's very different. Now here's the thing. So I'm trying to think like Knicks game versus Lakers game, what you hear growing up when you watch it on TV and all that. Knicks game was a regular season game. But it was a track meet. It was point of Palooza, if you can remember. And I was like, was Randall the greatest player alive? He put up like 75 points in the first half of this thing. And so there was a lot of screaming at the Knicks game. There's a lot of energy at the Knicks game. There's a lot of just fans giving it their all. And the energy has sort of been comparable. The Lakers is like a whole different vibe. And granted, it's the playoffs. But there's just too much to look at. There's lights and beautiful dancers. And there's actors and actors and models. And you're looking at like, do I know him? Is that the guy from? It's a whole thing. Jack Nicholson was in the house. They had like a whole intro, a mash-up of clips from his incredible career.  And I sat there. I sat there at the Lakers game and I was counting the banners. Because I was at the United Center not long ago for something, not for Fandall. But I was there for the Harry Styles concert. And you're at the building. You're at the United Center. So you're counting the banners and you're like, yeah, Chicago.  It is unbelievable how good they are after being bad. Or when you think they're gonna fall off a cliff, they contend again. It's a very like Patriots, Steelers, blue chip sort of Packers-y vibe over there. It's very cool, very cool. Yeah, and I think that creates a little bit of a different vibe too when you won that much versus the Knicks, who were, as a Knicks fan, we're still waiting for that first, first championship in about 50 years. So it definitely creates a little bit of a different vibe. But yeah, I mean, we all knew. I'm sorry, go ahead. I also am used to, you know, you get tickets to games, you don't really go or, you know, you'll kind of tell us you were there. But we actually know that you were there at the game. We have video evidence of it, which was pretty cool to see during this game. I love it. I love it up in Adam's Baby. And here we are today, the day after. And Shams will be on our show and I'm sure he'll have a lot to make fun of with that, but I have a lot to make fun of with him, breaking NFL news on draft day. Yeah, I was not happy. I was not happy with Shams the first time in my life. Yeah. I will say the Knicks game is sort of rough. Everybody like comes in from the subway and everybody's sort of, it's just like, you know, everybody crowds in and it's whatever.  What is this? Like the lights are low. There's like these purple lights. What's happened? The menu is different. Like it's very much that at the Lakers game. All class, all fun. And they pulled out a win last night in a very exciting playoff game that I was blessed to go to. So, Helen, so we'll talk to you in a little bit. I'm not gonna say which one's better. Very different experiences. Checking out the Knicks. Regular season in a crazy game. And of course the Lakers game four in their win. And now they've got to see what they can do and maybe lock it up. What's the series now? Three one. I'm talking basketball. It's amazing. But we're gonna switch gears to the NFL for a little bit here on a show because it's time to dig into more unanswered questions. We've been doing this division by division. We kicked it off yesterday in the NFC East. Now we go to the NFC North. It's their turn. And I want to start with the Bears. You know, I love Chicago. It's where I grew up. I love the direction. The team is headed under Ryan Poles. I love it all. They're not yelling. What's the question? They're yelling. I want everyone to yell at me today. Get to the question. Here's the question for Chicago. Is Justin Fields as good as we think? That's what it is. Plenty of reasons to be excited about Justin last year. We saw some awesome runs. They were explosive, highlight, real throws. Big time fantasy performances, but the Bears still finish with the worst record in the NFL. I'm not saying that it's Justin's fault. I think the Bears roster was super flawed, especially when it comes to receiving core and the offensive line. I don't think that's the case anymore. Take a look at these additions. Oh, this makes my heart sing. The Bears made the trade for DJ Moore. They spent their first round around tackle Darnell Wright to strengthen the O-line. They add Robert Tongan, Deonti Foreman, Nate Davis. Listen, they took some skilled players in the middle rounds as well. So GM Ryan Poles, he's gone all in to try to support his guy. And that is a wonderful thing. And it's exactly what you want to see as someone from Chicago or if you're just a Bears fan from anywhere. But it really puts it all on Justin. That's true. Listen, we've surrounded you with all the support you need. If you can't thrive here, tough, okay? So while last year, the feeling was kind of, you know, we know this team isn't going to be a contender right now. We just want to see good things out of Justin. That was the whole, that's all I wanted last year. Now it's time to start winning some games, beating some Ws in that column, okay? And that's about way more than stats and it's about way more than highlight reels. And I will say this, I believe in fields and I do think Chicago found their quarterback and has him. But there are things that need to be proven before we can remove the think from the equation and consider Justin one of the upper class men of the quarterbacks in this league. All right, let's try this again. Now take a look at, you guys can treat the show by the way at Up an Adam Show. And we would love for you to do that. I love getting tweets during the program. So thanks for joining us this morning. Let's take a look at Detroit. Let's go up there to Motor City.  Is he good? But that actually isn't my question for them. Start yelling at me, gosh. What's the question? What's the question? Get to the question. It's not about Jared Goff, come on, I love you. I just love everything about you. It's not about Jared Goff, it's not about that, you know, anything, he deserves a lot of credit. This lion's team does, they finished in the mix while having a 30 second total defense. Get to the deep, get the question. Okay, I'll get to the question. My question for the Lions is this, did they do enough to help the defense? The defense was so terrible. Listen, look at here. They made some big moves, okay? These are the defensive additions. Landing CJ Gardner Johnson in free agency. They get corners, Cameron Sutton in Emmanuel Mosley, and they address all three levels of the defense in the draft. They get their mammoth linebacker, Jack Campbell out of Iowa in the first. They got it, Brian Branch, who I love the first little friend of the show, DB, out of Bama, that's the second rounder for them, and a big nose tackle, Broderick Martin out of Western Kentucky, that they took in the third round. But their decisions weren't non-controversial, okay? There are people questioning the move to draft running back Gibbs out of Alabama, 12th overall with cornerback Gonzalez on the board, and Gonzalez, of course, who went to the Patriots, or, I don't know, like, do you wanna draft a linebacker like Campbell when there were other premium positions available, question mark? We will see how the moves pan out, but if this Lions defense, man, if they're even in the middle of the pack when it comes to the whole league, at any point this season, and this offense, which was top five, continues to be top five, the way it did during that seven and two stretch that they have, to end the year, I think there's a really good chance that we do see the Lions claim their first division title since 1993, and I believe, Conor, tell me I'm wrong, that the Lions odds are over at Fandall Sportsbook right now if you wanna get down on it early and have a little fun, the Lions looking down upon everybody else below them in the NFC North, including the Packers. So the Packers, they're going through, I mean, they're going through it. They're going through major transition right now, Aaron Rodgers is gone, but it doesn't mean they're going to be irrelevant this year, right? What's the question? What's the question? Hold on, it's a franchise that's had five losing seasons, guys, only five losing seasons in 31 years. So what's the question? Get to it. The question is pretty obvious. What is Jordan Love? Baby don't hurt me, baby don't hurt me no more. Okay, what is Jordan Love? He's probably the biggest mystery. I would behoove you, what is that? I would like you to find a bigger NFL mystery this year and tweet me, add up an ad of show. What is the bigger mystery? Jordan Love is it. The question is clear. Okay, so stop yelling. The question is clear. I think people are underestimating the impact that the answer might have. There were celebrations. There were confetti and t-shirt guns around the NFC North when Rodgers was traded to New York, but fans did not learn anything from Farve to Rodgers and that situation that happened, come on. I'm not saying Love will be as good as Rodgers, but he's a talented guy, okay? He's a good quarterback. He won the first round for a reason and this roster still has a ton of juice. This standoff doesn't happen between Rodgers and between the Packers and the Jets. The trait doesn't happen unless the Packers are completely comfortable with what they've got and Goody pulled off a complete overhaul of Love's weapons, okay? He snags a receiver, Jayden Reed in the second round. He gets a couple of tight ends. You got Tucker Kraft, Luke Musgraves, second, third round picks there and two other receivers later in the draft. I'm just saying there's not one team in this division that has proven enough to overlook the Packers. I will say that and I love the Lions and the Vikings were really exciting last year and Chicago's got the good things happening, good things coming. Nobody has made it a shut book case that the Packers are just not going to be at the top. So that's what I would say. The question is, all right, finally, oh, there is a question. And this is my, this is, I want to handle this a little gently. This is a tortured fan base. It really is. Last year's division champs, the Vikings. They've got to be so pissed. Fandals, sportsbook, Lions at the top. Jared Goff led Lions are leading. Like, what are we doing here? It was a big year for Minnesota last year. It's an even bigger one in 2023. They have not won back to back NFC North titles since 2008, 2009. Get to the question. Call them on, Jay. So you just throw a paper ball at me? Oh my God, I see the flashbacks of seventh grade Matthew Nierman. He used to wear a Brett Barber jersey. We're not going down that thing. This kid used to wear a Packers jersey and used to throw things at me in class. So this one's for you. About the Vikings though. My question for Minnesota is. Get to it. Are the Vikings good, or are they good? What is the good? Yeah, listen, despite their 13 and four record, the analytics did not love the Vikings last year and the Giants bounced them in the first round in the playoffs. I don't know if I've ever seen the 13 team win get so little love.  But before we pin it all on her cousins, the passing game was the biggest strength of this team last year. This team's biggest issue came in the run game. They were 27th and, by the way, on defense where only the Lions were worse. And they weren't able to do a ton to improve this offseason because they only had six picks in the draft and they lost some key vets like Patrick Peterson and Adam Thieland. So while last year they were a trendy pick to win the North and they followed through. This year it seems like everybody's on the outs. If you look at the updated odds and here they go and you can see where it all shakes out. Over if you wanna have some fun on Fandal Sportsbook, this is after the draft now. The Vikings are tied with the Bears for the longest odds to win the division. Minnesota, are you gonna take this disrespect? Are you gonna fall apart after a rough end to this season?  This is a contract year for Kirk Cousins. And if a playoff run doesn't happen, you may be closing in on that R word, the rebuilds in Minnesota. Kirk Cousins historically does pretty well in a contract year. So we'll see how it goes. But those are my questions. Great questions. Thank you for the NFC North. All I wanted was for Drew Thieland. I said it in the production meeting. If he starts yelling, we'll make my day. But he didn't, he's just smiling. And he says, you're lovely, you're beautiful. All right, we'll be back. We've got Sean Srania on the program. You see him on Run It Back. You see him breaking draft news for the NFL. And now we see her with us on Up It Happens. We'll be back. Next guest is a comedian and after his news comedy special is entitled The Birds and the Bees, which is just released on YouTube. Please welcome the hilarious master, Ronnie. How are you? Hi, Kate, how are you? I'm just here to learn about the Birds and the Bees. Tell me everything I need to know. Well, before I do that, I was watching the Laker game last night and they came on you. So crazy. And I was like, what's she doing at the game? She should be out. She'd be home preparing for me as her guest. I had a late night. I had a late night. Those, listen, those Stella Artois big boys, they don't drink themselves. And then I went to In-N-Out. It's never a good night when you go to In-N-Out. No, no, no. You get in that double double with those terrible fries that In-N-Out has. I said it. The problem with having a few drinks is that then it leads to a few burgers and then it leads to going home. And then just smelling.  Losing weight is tough in that sense. No, you don't need to, I do. No, but the Lakers game was super fun too. So you were watching. What a game! It was back and forth. It's crazy. I tweeted, I said, this is like the Hagler-Herns fight which makes me old. No, I know Hagler-Herns. You know, because you're smart. You know these things. You study boxing history. Nobody was hitting shots though. I was like, the first half I was like, does somebody wanna make one through the bucket? What's going on here? Yeah, and it was like, they had to bring in the backup players to do the shots. I don't know much about that. That's what Shoms is here for. You're here to talk to me a little bit about your background but also your connection to sports. I know you're a Cowboys fan. Yes. And I understand. You've got a little something, a little Kern-Tagler going on with Jerry Jones. Yeah, you know, my problem is that I'm just, they got my name is spelled Jebrony. That's fine. Oh, no, is it spelled wrong? No, it's fine. Oh, I meant, where? No, before. We'll fix it with him. It happens all the time. No, that's fine. No, it's okay. Listen, here's the thing. I came to America late 70s. Cowboys were America's team. I became a fan of the Cowboys. Tony Dorsett, Danny White. Of course. The coach, Tom Landry. This is fantastic. I lived in Northern California in San Francisco where I saw Joe Montana throw the pass to Dwight Clark for the catch. It was heartbreaking. I was a kid. It wasn't fair. They shouldn't do that. But you were still a Cowboys fan. I mean, Montana was doing his thing. Yeah, Joe Montana. I'm like, come on, dude, you can't do that. Anyway, so Everson Walls, I got the poster. Anyway, the point is, Jerry Jones bought the team and he fired Tom Landry right away. And I think it made me lose, it was a moment of like, oh my God, there's no loyalty. Oh yeah. And it broke my heart. Your innocence was taken. And I've had it out for Jerry Jones ever since. So if he's watching, we broke my innocence, Jerry Jones. You'd mind with JR from Dallas. Remember Dallas? Yeah, no, I don't. How do you know all these? I was pretending. Oh, yeah. Just to be in the conversation.  He still remained a sports fan. You went to the University of California.  You and Adam Duritz from the County of Crows. You both liked Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers. Jared Goff. Jared Goff, Jared Goff.  I was watching Jared Goff one time because as a Cal fan, you're always let down. We never, they never come through. But I was watching Jared Goff throwing these bombs and I go, whoa, who's this guy? And I look him up. I go, this is our new quarterback. This is freshman year. His freshman year. This is our new quarterback. Who's this guy? He was born in 1993, which is the year I graduated Cal. I go, he could be my son. It literally makes my skin crawl to me these guys and they're like, who's, they don't even, they don't know, they don't know who Tom Landria is. They don't know who. I know. Don't tell me to reset. They're like, huh? And I'm like, what is happening in this world? Shouldn't there be a history class of some sort? I think that'd be a great idea. You should talk to Jerry Jones about that. I should talk to Jerry Jones about implementing the football history class. And so we could all talk about old players.  Yes. You had a lot of success. And I want to ask you about a guy who wants to have success in your field. Like it's easy. Tom Brady thinks he's just gonna take these seven Super Bowl wins and walk into the comedy cellar or the last factory and ball out. It's, it sounds. You know, all these people think that like, It's not easy. It's a little insulting. People retire. They're like, I'm just gonna be a comedian. Really? You know? It's like, you can't just become a comedian. Although he's Tom Brady. He'll get the stage start. It's like, how much trauma do you have? Check?  But he's Tom Brady. The problem with Tom Brady, he's such a, he's so perfect that like, what's he gonna go up on stage be like, so today I woke up, there was a hair out of place. What's up with that? I don't know. You know? He needs to be, he needs to, we need to see the real Tom. You understand what I'm saying?  I'm not good enough for you. You know what I'm saying? What style of comedy, like you're a very physical comedian. I've watched your stuff. You're all over the, I don't know if Tom's gonna do that. What sort of stylistic approach should he take? What kind of a comedian should he take? I think he should be a little deadpan. He should be a little bit, I think he should do, because you wouldn't expect that, right? He is a little deadpan when he talks. He's not the most, he's not the most animated guy.  Like when he holds the mic he'd be like, is it just me or does this mic feel a little deflated? You know? Oh, it's a flow. That's gonna put on bump. You know what I'm saying? Okay, okay.  That's what people want on stage. Gosh, you went up after Jerry Jones and deflate gave the NFL people that are watching this from Park Avern not enjoying it. What? So you think you should go out and you should just, yeah, that's good advice. But I think about him walking into, like you're at the comedy store tonight, right? Yeah.  Tom Brady walks in there. How does that work? If it's, you know, Jaisal Nick and I don't even know who and you. Well, let me first of all tell you the funny thing is I think that the reason people, a lot of these people that retire pick comedy is because you really don't need any talent. Cause no, really. Because they're not coming out like, I want to be a musician because that would mean learning how to play an instrument. But comedy, they go, I just take a microphone and go up there and tell some jokes. Yeah, I'm a funny guy. Let me do it. Now that's why everyone thinks they can do it, but you're right. Once Tom Brady shows up at the club, the fact is if Tom Brady showed up at the club. Tell me. Tell me what would happen. Cause it's called bumping.  Like Chappelle shows up in your, and if you're John Malini, you're like, I'm great, but see ya. Well, I don't know if Chappelle, John Malini. I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't know if John's watching this, I don't think it'd be bump by Chappelle. John Malini wouldn't be bumped by Dave Chappelle? John Malini's kind of, he's a big, he's big time now.  I got this other party I gotta go to. And then John, I go for it. Who's unbumpable? Unbumpable is, well, Chappelle would be unbumpable. That's right. Yeah, so if Tom Brady, let's say Tom Brady shows up. Most of us that are on that lineup, they'd be like, hey, Tom Brady's here. And by the way, the fact is, we would all wanna watch it. We'd be like, what? Really? You'd give up your spot for Tom Brady? Oh yeah, of course. I wanna watch the disaster.  You'd give him your spot once. We take more joy, it's called shouldn't fraud. Have you heard of this? Yeah, we take more joy in watching his pain of trying to do what we do. Cause I think a lot of us would be like, oh, you think you can do it? Let's see you do it. And then I think we just, I'll be sitting in the back and then another comic would walk up and be like, what's going on? Why are we running late? Tom Brady's up. What? Yeah, he's trying to do jokes. What? Tom Brady? How entertaining would that be for us? It would, I just, I think, I still can't believe that you don't think that Chappelle would go in there and paper covers rock John Lainey. And anything, what it is, Colin Jost holding his ground to shave Chappelle too. What are we talking about here? My point is, I haven't looked at the comedian rankings recently. Yeah. But there are, right? But there are comedian rankings. Fanduels should do odds on comedians, bumping or bombing. Come on, Fanduels, get with it. I love this. Now, dare I ask, I don't know your answer to this. The Women's FIFA World Cup, which we love, is coming up in July. I heard you have an issue with American World Cup chants. Well, first of all, I'm happy that at least we have the Women's World Cup team is a team that has a chance. So this is good. Okay. Cause the Team USA, you root for them, it's just, you know, you have to have a backup. But with the team, but our chant is horrible.  I root for Team Iran and it's called Team Melly and Team USA. I have the same thing. It's like I root for US, but Poland, like that's, you know. Yeah, I'm like, maybe France, maybe, you know, Brazil. So, but the chant we have is really bad. The chant is, I believe, I believe that we will win. I believe that we will win. I believe that we will win. Now you see, that's not even committing. It's saying, I believe we might, if things go right, if the world's a line, I believe, I'm not quite, it's very like, very American, everybody gets a trophy. You know what I'm saying? I believe that we win, but if we don't, it's fine. We don't have to win. It's okay. You tried your hardest.  Eat you for lunch. You're like, oh God, we're going to lose today. So you got to come, the fans need, we need something a little more aggressive. Do you have something in mind? I believe that you'll let us win or we will attack your country and make you, I'm almost took a turn for this. You know, I'm just saying, we have a good military. Let's just use that to our advantage. It should be in the thing. It should be intimidation. Talk to me about something that many people find intimidating, birds and bees, right? The birds and the bees. That conversation is a little cringy, but what do you got? This is your sixth hour long standup special. Congratulations. Thank you so much. So the birds and the bees is my new comedy special. It's I put on YouTube because I was like, I've been on Netflix. I've been on Showtime. I've been at the beauty of YouTube.  I've been like, look at me. There you go. And they got the name. That's fantastic. Aww. Look, we got it right finally. You got it right. Thanks for being cool about that. Sorry. Come on. I'm used to this stuff. I had the iron sheet called me Jabroni. So the birds and the bees is the birds and the bees. I had to give the birds and the bees talk to my kids. You come from an immigrant background. I come from an immigrant background. Our parents never did birds and the bees. Not a chance. My parents never, I've never, not the word, not the idea had never been discussed. My dad was like son and our culture, we don't have birds and bees. We have lawyers and doctors. Just be one and stop asking questions. But my kids, I stumbled into the birds and the bees. My daughter was eight. My son was 10. We were watching a TV show and there was like sexual content in it. It was like a regular show. It was like ABC. Hard to avoid these days. It was an ABC show, family show. Black-ish. And the very first scene of the whole show, there's something that happens. And again, anyone's got boys and girls will tell you, boys spaced out. My son saw the scene. Didn't even, he's just like, my daughter, sharp, CSI, CIA, FBI. She's just like, what just happened? Connecting dots. On TV, I'm like, what do you mean? What just happened? I go on TV or in the world? In the world? Cause I was trying to avoid the conversation. And she's like, no, on TV, what just happened to that kid? And I was like, oh yeah, nothing. And then the very next scene, they keep talking about this like thing. And I'm like, ugh. And then I ended up explaining to her, and I think I've, the same way Jerry Jones messed up my life, I think that I've traumatized my daughter. We have to unpack this. Yeah, there's a lot of unpacking. Well, how'd the conversation go? Well, the conversation went, so I don't know how much you can say on the show, but that it was, it was the, what the boys and the girls do. Once you get older, you experiment with your body, right? Yeah. And the boy was about, the boy was in the high school and he was about to experiment with his body. Can we say the M word? Is that okay? I don't know. I won't say it. It's pretty obvious. See, I come from a family that doesn't say it. Then my eight year old daughter goes, what just happened? And then the next scene came up again and I'm trying to avoid the conversation. She goes, no, what just happened with the son? Cause the dad walks in, the son's about to do something and the dad walks out.  And then she goes, what? I was just a little, just a little, a little bit. And then she goes, that was it. That was my Bersin the Bees. Well, I don't know if that's the Bersin the Bees. It's sort of like the birds or the bees. Like there's the birds. Yeah, that's the whole. I'm just trying to avoid the birds in the bees.  That's what I plan. If I ever have kids, it's the Stork story till you figure it out. No, you can't. They're eight and 10. They know there's this. Eight and 10 is so, I don't even think I knew what sex was for a very long time. I remember, no one told me anything for a very long time. I didn't tell them about sex. I told them about the M word. Okay, we get it. We were about to, let's move on. Ooh, check it out guys. It's on YouTube and it's very fun. It's a fun show. Check it out. With the popularity of Instagram and TikTok, how is promoting your comedy special, special after special, how has it sort of evolved? I'm so curious. It's sort of in your own hands you're saying. Well, it's so crazy. It's also about like the world we live in now, right? So my kids are on TikTok. My son is now 14. They know all about it. TikTok is like with three second videos. So like when I first started to stand up 25 years ago, they say you need to record a one hour comedy special.  Then a few years later they go, you gotta take five minutes of the one hour you put on YouTube, people discover you, career takes off. Then they go, you gotta take one minute of the five minutes, put on Instagram, people discover you, career takes off. Then they go, you take three seconds of the one minute, put it together, put it together. And I go, three seconds. All I can say is hello, goodbye. My son goes, that's fantastic. That's perfect. And then they go, how low is the attention span of your generation? And he goes, what? So it couldn't even last three seconds. Is it true that the attention Spanish is completely shot? I watched these girls, I was at some school event and these girls were like waiting and they're getting ready to watch this thing. We're all sitting, we're all sitting and these girls had their phones and it was like tic-tac, it was like a video game. And I go, are they playing a video game? No, they're watching videos. They're not watching anything. They go, watch a second, heart move, heart tic-tac. I go, my God, everyone's gonna have arthritis in the future, cause a tic-tac. Everyone's gonna be like this. You should get ahead of that. Everyone's gonna be walking around like that. They'll be like, yeah, hang loose. They're like, no, hang tic-tac. No, that's horrifying. Oh gosh, okay, so you did this at the comedy store? Yeah, we filmed at the comedy store. That's pretty special. It's amazing. Comedy store is legendary. Mitzi Shor, who was Polly Shor's mother, she was the owner of the comedy store. Everyone's gone through the comedy store and it's an amazing place. And it was, she wanted me to wear a turban when I first started, cause I'm Middle Eastern. And back then she was like, you should wear the outfit. I go, what outfit? She goes, you know the hat and the gown. I go, what hat and gown? She goes, you know the hat and the gown. And I go, turban? She goes, yeah, I go, okay. And then I, cause I wanted to be a regular. I didn't say no. And then I went to the back hall. No, I went to the back hall and I'm like, what did I just agree to do? And then it became this long two week process of me trying to get out of the turban and them thinking I'm gonna wear the turban. And finally I was like, listen, if I wanted to wear the turban, like some terrorists might find out I'm making fun of them and come blow up the club.  Just wear like something comfortable. That's how you went and did that. Yeah, yeah, I got it. I leaned into my Middle Eastern background, Kay. Speaking of your Middle Eastern background, you are from, you have immigrant parents. Yes. And you, that's a very unique experience. Yes. And what would you make of that?  Yes. They are very cutthroat. They're very, there's no, They have high expectations for no reason. Lawyer, doctor, engineer. They love, listen, they love us. Don't get me wrong. But it's just a different world. Like I have- It really is. Listen, we, kids run the world now. We didn't run the world. All right, like now when I drive my kids to a sporting event, I'll stay at the sporting event. It revolves around them. Yeah, I'll watch the game and then I'll drive them home. Back when I was a kid, they'd drop us off and sometimes pick us up. They wouldn't even pick me up. My dad would drop me off, leave, everyone's gone home. I'm outside with my baseball bat, my little mitt going like, where are they? My dad would show up, where were you? Oh, I was home watching the football game. You should have seen it. They're professional. They're much better than you. Like, thanks dad. But this is like LA too. There's an extra layer to that with raising your, I'm saying, you're raising your kids in LA. Oh, forget it. Oh my God. I always say this. When I was a kid, I used to play with the kids of my parents' friends. Now I play with the parents of my kids' friends and it goes with what? It's so crazy. It's crazy. I remember we would, I would have, we would just have parties like these raging Polish parties, for any event. My, for 10 hours, my parents had no idea where I was. It was like they strapped a pillow to me and said, good luck. We would be upstairs doing crazy stuff like American Gladiator, breaking things. Like, no, they were having, they were living their lives. They were down there celebrating and having fun and now that does not happen. They did not know, they did not care. Now it's a sleep schedule, gotta go. And I'm like, what? Dude, even eating, like now we're like, you should eat better. When I was a kid, we came to America, I discovered Twinkies. I'd go grocery shopping with my mom. She'd buy all the food for the house. I'd buy a whole other cart of junk food. I, my, my welcome into America was taking the Twinkies and chewing off that little layer and then licking that, licking the cream and going like welcome to America. This is the best country ever. That was your moment. But do you have your work ethic from them? I think so. Yeah, definitely. Well, it's not work ethic as much as like, you better succeed or we're going to disown you, you know? I would say, I say when I first started, by the way, when I started this, this wasn't, this was comedy wasn't a thing. Like I said, I was a discipline to my father, discipline to my mother. I was a discipline to the entire Persian community. I'm not kidding, we go to parties.  He's almost a drug dealer. No, I have the same thing. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I was a brother, a lawyer, my sister, I does something so medical, whatever, that I can't even tell you what it is.  She's trying to be on a microphone. She's trying to be on TV.  Like she doesn't know what she's doing for the longest, not anymore, but for the very long time. It's a disappointment. And I was like, I'm successful. It's just a little different, but it was a bit of a, yeah. Because they can't grasp it because they come from the old school, like there's certain jobs you should have. Because listen, I always say, they want what's best for you, right?  I was like always running, even if it was like, work in it, I've had all kinds, I worked at Domino's Pizza, I worked at Sabarro's Pizza, I've done all kinds of pizza. Which is better. Well, Sabarro's, which one should I eat last time? I worked at Sabarro's one month, I got an employee of the month. Thank you. Yeah, I was the only guy who spoke English. Okay, which one should I not eat of those two? Well, you gotta have Domino's because they deliver it.  You know the inner workings of how things go. Oh, they're all horrible. Are you kidding me?  Of course, I made a pizza, it's Sabarro's pizza. Did you dance while you made pizza? Can I just tell you something real quickly? Please. The beauty of being an immigrant, by the way, is you're always, we're always looking for connections. You got a cousin who's got this, you got a mother, the uncle, the dad. So once I worked at Sabarro's pizza, like the first time I was like alone one night, I called my family, I go, listen, I'm at the pizza place. I got free pizza. So they all came and I gave them all, I cooked them all pizza. That's amazing. It was amazing. And then I worked at a place called Boulangerie. At the end of the day, it was a bread place. They'd always be out- It sounds like a lingerie place. No, Boulangerie. I was like, you invited everybody to- They would have extra bread left over. So they would send me home with loaves of bread. That's amazing. So it was funny. So my dad, they became a sting, like when we'd have guests over as they were leaving, like, would you like some bread? They were like, sure. They thought they could give them a piece of bread. A parting gift. A loafer. Those were the days. You're very, you have a great energy about you. I can't wait to watch this special. Check it out, guys. It's the birds and the bees. I want to ask you about your dancing. I was trying that. We were talking about the pizza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I asked you if you were dancing and wanted to, you know- Yeah, yeah, no. I did a show called the Funny Dance Show. I was a guest on it and they canceled it, unfortunately. It was on E, I believe. That's probably why they canceled it. I was on it. I don't even know what network it was. You were on E while you were doing it? No, no, I was on E. Yeah. Hey, gay girl. But it was funny because I've always- Take that, Tom Brady. I've wanted to, do you know how Tom Brady wants to do comedy? I want to dance and I want to sing. Well, I have to see the dance. I want to be in the next Baz Lorman movie. Whoever the new singing, dancing director is, tell me in your movie. I can sing, I believe I can sing. Come on, and then I can dance. You can't sing. I can dance. Want me to- Yes. Can we get you to dance? They asked me to do a football dance. Let's do a dance. Touchdown dance. This is my touchdown dance. Okay, this is a Maz touchdown celebration. What would it look like? Go for it. Can I get some music or something?  Yes, I asked for it. What kind of music is this? I asked for it. Well, I got to hear it. Do you hear it? Oh, can we play it in the studio? Okay, so I believe it's Middle Eastern music. So here I am. Come to the studio. Just go with me. Okay, so here we go. The ball, I do a one-handed catch. It's gonna be a one-handed catch, right? Yeah. Right? One-handed catch. And I, oh, and I'm in.  I think that's Indian, but that's fine. Can I do it? I'm gonna run. You can do it just like this. Use your hand like this. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And then just drop it. Oh, that's not bad. And when- Then you go like this. Now I'm running. You see, now it's kind of running, man. It's got a little bit of everything, right?  Don't forget the wave. Uh-huh. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Plug your special. Maja Brownie, because the birds are the bees. I'm dancing till you're watching it. Don't even watch it. Just click on YouTube and let it play. I need the algorithm. Go. Willie back with Chums. Chums will be here to break down the- Who was Jordan Poole and why was he trending last night? We'll break it down. NBA style, as you break it down to break. Unbelievable. I'm running out of breath. Big news, hockey fans. The same game parlays are not available for all NHL games on FanDuel. Build quick and easy bets and enhance your game experience by combining prop spreads, totals, and more. Plus, you can also combine same game parlays with bets from other games to make a SGP plus and win even bigger. So download the FanDuel Sportsbook app and check out NHL, same game parlays today. From hockey to the NBA, we've got Steve Kerr. I love Steve Kerr, Chums. I love Steve Kerr. Hey, Steve, I know you're out of the lineup sharing business, but is there- It's OK. Shams is in the lineup sharing business. Did you tell him? No, we have a special correspondent within our organization who shares information with him. Apparently. Boy, Shams, Shams. I love Steve Kerr. Shams on the show, on Up and Atoms. You can, of course, see him on Run the Back right here on FanDuel TV. What'd you make of that? Well, shout out. Yeah, I mean, it's very rare. All these coaches, they want to keep their line-ups a secret going into these playoff games. And so I got wind of the Warriors' big change last night. Gary Payton, the second starting, it was big news. And so I had to do what I had to do at that point. And you actually mentioned it to me. I told you I was going to my first Lakers game. And I was like, what? My first question to Shams was not like, tell me the keys to the game or give me some scoops. I go, where should I eat? What am I going to eat? I go, Shams, where do I eat? It sounds like you followed my advice.   Sounded like you found a spot. I don't know where. You went somewhere. I saw you. I did also. Oh, yeah, I went to In-N-Out. I went to In-N-Out after. It was a terrible decision by me, but it was OK. So you caught wind. It's like how you say you caught wind of something. Like a little bird came and chirped in your ear and told you about the line-up changes. When I got that text from you, I didn't even respond because I was like, what do I do with this information? Like I don't know basketball enough to even know what to do with this. The Lakers somehow still pulled it off. Do you have anything to say to Coach Kerr after last night? Well, I would just say I've got bodies everywhere. I try to have spies everywhere. I try to make sure I'm accounted for in different places. So I think that's, shout out Steve Kerr. Definitely a fan of his. I mean, you're from Chicago. You've got to be a fan of Steve Kerr. I saw him right away, and I was like, Steve Kerr! Chicago Bulls, 90s! Listen, and speaking of that, you said you have bodies everywhere. It's true, and it's rubbing some people the wrong way because Steve Kerr isn't the only person to fall victim to your superhuman ability to break news over the past few weeks. You ruined, you ruined the NFL draft by breaking a couple of picks. You broke picks before Gidele took the stage, a major no-no, including number one overall pick, Bryce Young. What was the reaction like from all involved? Okay, sometimes I have to come into your world, you know? So I just, I was chilling before, I think it was Celtics Hawks. It was like 35 minutes before the game. I was semi-bored, but I was getting ready for the game. I was bored. Information just made its way to my phone. So, you know, at that point, I felt like the only responsible thing to do was put it out. And so that's what I did. It seems like the NFL fan base is very, very stringent when it comes to that, though. It seems like it's a no-no, but listen, I had to do it. Shout out Ian Rappaport. That's someone who I have a lot of respect for. When you say that, what do you mean? Because you know Ian's like, shout out Ian Rappaport, because you say you love that, but you're breaking news. My question would be... I have a lot of respect for him. No, like I respect what he does, and so I'm not trying to come to his territory. I'm sure if he was able to break that news, he would break it, but it looks like they've got them on a little bit of a muzzle, so. I would say... There's a boy. They've got Ian Rappaport on a muzzle. Oh, boy. Shams, I would say this to any... No, no, with the draft. No, I know. To anybody who might say that you shouldn't be tweeting out these pics, I would say, what are you supposed to do? If it makes its way to you, like, what are you supposed to not give the information? That's what I would say. What is Shams supposed to do? He's got to give the news when he sees it, and I thought it was great. I thought it was absolutely hilarious. But I do want to know, like, what is the line? Because you did the presidential COVID diagnosis. Would you, if you got the scoop of who won the presidential election, would you tweet that? I definitely would, for sure. I for sure would. You want to get all that political, Twitter? But I'm happy that you support it. Because if Uppin' Adams and you guys support it, then that means, you know, I don't really care about outside opinions. That's right. You want to come into our NFL world, we're going to give you a warm embrace, baby.  Well, this is becoming an NBA show, so now I feel like, you know, we're kind of balancing each other out. It's true. Running back, Uppin' Adams, it's kind of, there's a good, you know, synergy there right now, I think. But I think when you look at it, I feel like news is news. Obviously my beat is the NBA, I love the NBA, that's what I do, that's my passion. But, you know, if I get wind of other things, you know. What about the next? I'm liable to tweet it. What about the next pope? Would you announce, would you beat the plume of smoke? Would you tell people who the pope was? Kay, do you have access to that information? What about the winner of Love Island? Probably not. No? I probably wouldn't. I wouldn't venture into love, you know. Let that be their thing, that's their private business. Jobs, loves, love. I've got succession spoilers. Would you tweet those? No, actually not. I dislike when people tweet out spoilers because what if you haven't seen the show?  They could have a plan with their significant other. What if you're a huge NFL fan and you're watching the show called the NFL Draft? What are you talking about? I don't understand you, Shoms. Well, you're going to find out in like 20 seconds anyway if you're going to watch, or 30 seconds or 15 minutes. You know, but some people make plans, right? Like, I'm going to watch X Show on Thursday. Like, people make plans. And so I want to be respectful of people's plans. Well, why didn't you break the Kentucky Derby news and who won the Kentucky Derby early? Where we do not have any...  So it's unfortunate. It's true.  Yeah, we were very busy. We were very busy. Listen, this series has been all about the stars, right? LeBron, Steph, AD. Last night it was Lonnie Walker. I'm watching this happen. Stealing the show. 15 points in the fourth quarter. It gets to Lakers to win. What do I need to know about Lonnie? And what was last night? Well, you want to root for him for sure because this is a guy, Kay. He started to begin the year. He was in the starting lineup. He was probably their third best scorer, their third best player, in the initial part of the season. And then this is a Lakers team that made some trades at the trade deadline, got in different pieces. He goes to the bench. And then he's really relegated to not playing much at all in these playoffs. He barely played in their first-round series against Memphis. He didn't play at all in game one. Then he plays some garbage-time minutes in game two. He plays really well, and that just goes to show it's like a life lesson.  You always want to be ready. He was ready in game two. He gets an opportunity in game three, and last night in game four. And he shines, and I think it's just a great example of staying ready, being professional. Because at any given moment, your number could be called, and so it could be your time to step up. I love that. So the Lakers, they're three-and-one over the Warriors. Then the same thing happened with the Heat. We talked to Kenny Smith and he loves Miami. I'm sure you have the scoop on that. I'm sure you're... Kenny Smith should have said you were the one that called TMZ. I know nothing about Miami. I know nothing about MiamiK. But the heater up on the Nix 312, which I hate, because you know I like the Nix. I like that Randall. I like that IQ kit. I like it all. Which team do you think has a better chance of making a comeback? Warriors or Nix? I think the Warriors, because they've done it before, 3-1. They've got a lot of championship pedigree. They've got championship history. So for me, for sure the Warriors, that's a scenario I could see, potentially, although the Lakers have the edge. With the Heat and Nix series, it's tough to see because right now Jimmy Butler has been by far the best player in the series. He's been one of the best players in the playoffs. And I think this is the second straight series against Milwaukee, and to be honest, he was the best player in that series. In this series against the Nix, he's the best player. And the way he's playing, okay, this is a guy who shot under two, three pointers a game in the regular season. Now it's playoff time. Everyone's scouting reports says Jimmy Butler can't shoot threes, and he's shooting over four threes a game, almost 40% from three. So Jimmy Butler's playing at another level, and you can clearly see he's turned it on when the lights are on, and he's playing at a super high level. We'd love to see it. I like that Jimmy Butler. I wish he did more for the Bulls when he was there for those good ones. Okay. I wanted to ask you about this. Give me the latest on this Ispia thing. Joker got fined what, 25K? And then the people want Ispia to have a little, you know, something, something for his role in all this. Anything there? Nothing that I've heard, but I think with Matt Ispia, it is interesting. The one thing I think about, if this was just a normal fan, what would the reaction be? Would there be something with the fan press charges? Like what would happen if this was just a normal fan? It wasn't the owner of an NBA team. This guy who's worth almost $5 billion, I don't think, you know, he's clearly not going to make a scene of this. He tweeted out yesterday, I want everyone to focus on game five. I don't want Yokey to get suspended. And I think that went a long way in, you know, in any decision the league was going to make. I don't think a suspension was ever really in play. But I think everyone just wants to move on. Get to game five. I don't know, I don't know where Matt Ispia is going to be seen tonight. Maybe I need to figure that information out. Will he be courtside? Where will he sit? But I think in Phoenix, he's going to sit exactly in his seats as normal, which is what I would expect in game six. Shoms, are you going in any game soon? I think I'm going to be in Chicago for the next week or so. NBA Draft Combine next week in the shot. So I'm going to be here. Ooh, that's super fun. I love that. Shoms, we love you. When you are bored, you break news. That's your new tagline. Whenever we have Shoms on the show, it's when he's bored, he breaks news. When I'm bored, I like, I don't even know, I put a face mask on. You go to Lakers games? I know. How was your experience? Shoms, it's a lot. Very different from the next game. Very, I've never been to a Bulls game. Ever. Stop it. I've never been to a Bulls game. This is a sin. This is, okay. I don't know what to say. Listen, they've got a nice Fanduola sports book there thing. You've got all the access, but you've never asked me to go. So that's on you. All right, fine. Maybe when you're bored, you should take me to Bulls games. Bulls game 2023-2024 season. Fanduola make it happen. Shout out Fanduola. Fanduola! Shout out TV. Shout out Richard. I'll make it happen, but Fanduola, you know. Wow, wow, wow. They've got the plugs. I don't got any plugs. Shoms, we appreciate you. Enjoy all of the action. You're great. You're just great. We love you. We love Shoms on the show. A warm embrace into the NFL world. What's he supposed to do? Not break news. I'll be back. Welcome back to Up and Out with Thomas Scheng. 30 seconds. A big thanks to Moz for joining our show. You guys can check out a special on YouTube, but it's called Birds and Bees. And thanks to Shoms for hopping on and explaining that, you know, you wrap reports in a muzzle. That's the breaking news here today. And nobody's playing better than Jimmy Butler, except Devon Booker. Why does everyone hate Devon Booker? Get out of the way. All right, we'll be back. Tomorrow. Gronk and his mom are here. Gronk and his mom. Great.


Hi everybody, Joe for jaskiescasebreaks.com coming at you with 2020 Panini impeccable football three box random team break number one That's a it's a full case right there Obviously all a card ship. It's a random team break all teams are in and big thanks to everyone here. I Appreciate it. Congrats again to the winners of spots and thank you very much to People who got their spots straight up. I thank everybody Thank you, let's roll it. Let's randomize names and teams eight times three and a five one two three Eighth and final time we got Adam Wilson down to Adam Koperman Now if you missed out on these Guess what we have another case so another random team case and a couple fillers are up So check that out on jaskiescasebreaks.com eight times for the teams one Two and eighth and final time after eight. We got the Eagles down to the Dolphins Right after eight after eight got it All right Adam Wilson with the Eagles and the Chargers Ramon with the Colts Patrick with the Lions Gale Giants Juan with the Cowboys J with the Bengals Bradley with the Bills Michael with the Washington football team JC with Jacksonville James with my Raiders J goings with the Packers Adam with his Jets That's the team Oliver with the Texans Matthew Shearer with the Panthers and the Niners Alifonzo with the Vikings Matthew with the Chiefs Billy with the Saints John with the Steelers Steve Block with the Bears Roy with the Browns J with the Seahawks Michael with the Cardinals Jared K You got the Titans and the Rams David with the Patriots Nick with the Broncos Brett with the Ravens Brian with the Bucks Ben with the Falcons and Adam with the Miami Dolphins Let's get all this on one page here Sort by column B. All right, and that's the full case right here Now I'm gonna pause the video when we come back. We're gonna see if there's any trades and then we'll have the break stick around All right. Welcome back folks There it is three box random team one List remains the same. No trades. No camera is just fine Mac Camera is just fine. The only person that's ever broken the camera would be Sean Jaspie Just reestablished the link between the camera and the computer That's all There it is And here we go Good luck. I've broken other stuff though. All right first one out of the gate Yeah, pretty much here we go. Good luck out of the gate is Vaughn Miller two out of five He's a free agent. Where does Vaughn Miller go? Does he return to the could return to Denver? I don't know if the Raiders have cap space for someone like Vaughn Miller, but they could use a Vaughn Miller Denver Nick All aboard the big hit express whoo-hoo Next up we got Aaron Donald 45 out of 50 So that's what's going on. No we're Adam saying Vaughn Miller is washed up Maybe is this guy's not washed up yet though Rams Jarrett Kay They got Julian Edelman to 75 for the Patriots that'll be for David and our hits We've got for the Cardinals and Neas Williams. He's pretty good 75 out of 99 Michael Sclafani with the Arizona football Cardinals No Ramones says he'll be fine Where does he end up? Vaughn Miller, he'll be a big free agent name We have 42 out of 75 Jeff Gladney for the Vikings Alifonzo with that one We have Steve Largent. There you go. Nice 23 out of 25 looks like a Hall of Fame auto right there The set is called first ballot signatures. That's right. He was a first. I think when he retired I'll tell me you're retired. He had been leading pretty much all Major receiving categories Seahawks Jay Goins We got Curtis Martin on the bottom. Wow Two out of 25 master strokes autograph That is Adam Cuperman and his Jets He's a Jets guy. He remembers this guy. He loves this guy. I'm sure I think he has been disappointed in the past when this guy's appeared as a patriot In certain breaks where he's had the Jets There you go This time A jet For Adam and his Jets It's got a good great penmanship too Nice. I like it says there he is Adam. Congrats, man There you go. And back here is Jordan Love. We love it Two-color relic and autograph for Jay Hart Three out of 35 Top loader dust in here that I got out Packers that's going to be Jay Goins with the pack Next to one Ben, yeah Jordan Love could be the new starter when Aaron Rodgers goes to the Niners Yeah, I think Jason Lacanfora had reported that That there's a lot of trouble in the trouble in paradise that case It we're going to do at the end trouble in paradise and Green Bay That there is actually issues And everyone's playing down issues between Aaron Rodgers and Matla floor So I don't know what's going to happen 28 out of 50 That could be another big name that's available. A lot of teams looking for quarterbacks What if Aaron Rodgers goes to New England? That'd be wild Love you on bell for Adam What if he goes to the Niners There's Joe Theisman to 75 The Rams saying Jared Gough is the quarterback at the moment. What does that mean? I don't know You know the Jaguars go bananas and they're like we'll give you Trevor Lawrence for who knows what's going to happen There's Lou Keekley Five out of 25 jersey and autograph nice one for the Panthers. That's going to be for Matthew Shearow Rodgers to the Colts Colts need a quarterback except Trevor. What's going on Rodgers to the bear? I don't think I don't think they'll ever trade him to a division rival, but bears could use a Aaron Rodgers. Yes for the second time Trevor. Hello Yeah, that field goal Adam drove me bananas I was just I just I still can't believe it. It's not like that defense was Anyway, four out of 99 Jalen Rhaegor And Jordan Love again two-color jersey and autograph 15 out of 49 is the Jordan Love era starting Beastly saying San Francisco is the leading candidate for Matthew Stafford. He's on the move too That's true. That's you're actually right, Neil. I did not think that far of whatever appear in a uh viking's uniform, but he did Another Jordan Love for Jay going there you go Jay There's a Mari Cooper One out of 25 for the Cowboys tried to trade couldn't trade mojo for Juan Could Garoppolo end up back in New England? That's true. Yeah, there was a step in between Right with farve before he ended up with the viking and the last one here is J. K. Dobbins Brett Rodgers with the purple birds nice seven out of 75 I don't know. There could be a there's a lot of new head coaches A lot of qb movement I don't think I remember this much qb movement happening I mean are the Saints really going to stick with Taysom Hill or James Winston? Knowing that other qb options are out there in the world more than any other I think more than I remember in recent Recent NFL off seasons So it should be a very exciting off season ladies and gents We've got another uh train whistle coming up here That's AP Adrian Peterson four out of five for Michael Hanson and the Washington football team Michael out of fives and under all aboard the big hit express I've got Josh Jacobs to 75 eBay saying uh roger's going to A los angeles rams or the dallas cowboys and what happens to dak prescott Prescott's still out there in the wind that goes to james and my raiders We got a blockchain card right here jerry judy for denver digital card going to nick Not sure Lonnie. Let's discuss that one We get to that Um travis. I trust what roger said on the McAfee show that he'll be back next season I think so right unless he demands a trade But he can opt out he's he does have that opt out which i'm sure he'll exercise rookie autographs out of 75 unless Unless the packers trade Right the packers could be like we don't want you to opt out and then we get left with what nothing Why not move you now This goes to adam and the dolphins so we can get something in return instead of just letting you opt out and walk away So i'm sure There's darryl slayton for the uh new york football giants.   I feel like there's a if we expanded that there'd be a good auto hiding there Brett with another raven A couple more to go. We got derrick henry. He's got some nice penmanship There you are nine out of 25. Is that tractorcito? Is that a thing?  Well, maybe the only thing that's diminutive is his nickname tractorcito or little tractor The moniker is said to have uh originated during a spanish language broadcast of one of henry's games with alabama I had no idea There you go tractorcito And the last one here is gonna be la visca chanalt jr for jc and the jags 62 out of 75 Nice Thanks, everyone Out of the case hit A piece of metal silver or gold looks like silver Looks like a quarterback. It's drew lock nine out of 10 some Troy ounce of fine fine silver For nick newin and the denver broncos and there you have it boys and girls. What a great case We've got another one of these in the store right now with a couple fillers So another random team break, but get into it on jaspyscasebreaks.com. I'm joe. I'll see you next time for the next one. Bye. Bye


at the VRIC Vancouver Resource Investment Conference on Day 2. Let's do a little tour of the facility. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's been good. Yeah, thank you. Sorry. Oh, I know what that one is. Yeah.  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.


I kind of feel out of place here though. I could smell all the potent sperms that I've just left to dice. First of all, huge round of applause to everybody that has done everything. And go on. This is what you got after two days. And for engineers, right, you guys are surprisingly upbeat. I'll tell you what. Two things scare me off. Media and technology. So in my act today, I'm going to make sure that I keep this to the things that scare me off, media and technology. And I'm going to do it the lean start-up way.  If it works, I'll probably get a show where I'll be paid, maybe. So, right. First of all, a shout out to everybody who survived Hurricane, Sandy and Cyclone Neelum. Really feels like an end of the world for me though.  I mean, who comes up with these names anyway? Cyclone Neelum?  Call it Sonia Gandhi.  It's just so weird, right? And the way media projects this starts comparing Cyclone Neelum with Hurricane Sandy.  You know what I mean? It just doesn't fit the will, right? Yeah. I was watching this thing on news yesterday and these guys go about saying, oh, President Obama is really sad about Cyclone Neelum. Daa. I mean, what options has he got anyway? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Finally, Cyclone in my tenure. He didn't be doing that, right? Media totally screws up your happiness. I don't know if you guys watch Cricket. There was this Ranji Trophy match yesterday and apparently, well, it's actually kind of fun. Sachin scored a century. New Star Wars movie is going to be released in a while. Feels like 90s again. Anyway, so this thing, right? Sachin Tendulkar apparently called everybody to his home and cooked food for them and Archduke started making it as a huge news article. I don't even know if these guys have a context to make a news article, right? Say Tendulkar peed, another news article. Tendulkar pees every day.  Yes, he pees in the V. Why so? Because his straight drive is always in the V. Yeah, there's this crew of your happiness big time. I don't have a problem with media or God or anything, particularly God, right? I'm okay with the concept of God. I think God for me is like Justin Bieber, right? No fancier, right? So I'm okay with the guy, right? The fan club that freaks me or big time. And people, I kind of keep thinking how it would be like if Jesus had technology back then, right? On the day of crucifixion, probably would have gotten up in the morning, did his daily thing, ate some cereal, he got a WhatsApp message. Yeah, bro, what up? Just finished cereal, what up with you? Thinking about crucifying you tonight. And Jesus would have been like, okay, bro, what time? 5 30, good. No, 5 30, I have to meet Monica Bellucci, Mary Magdalene, right?  Six o'clock good. Yeah, six o'clock good. We have been doing around Bangalore. No, no, no, that road has got lots of traffic. Let's just take the highway. Yeah, 6 30, we're done. I just don't get the head around it. And it's just not Jesus, Jesus. Think of Indian mythology, right? If there was technology back then, I, I know you could not think of Mahabharat happening.  And Draupadi cheered her and would have been like, SSH into Draupadi's computer, fast, fast, fast, somebody's SSH, repeat off, repeat off, why this man? It would have been so much fun and a picturing technology in essence. So I thought I'll just keep it to the technical folks so I got a presentation for you, Talking Tech. You can download this from Slideshare, by the way. Slideshare.com slash Kaushika slash Talking Tech. And if you guys are already on your mobile phones, which I'm sure half of you are, and if you guys are wondering about a hashtag to use, hashtag sexy face, by the way. Sexy face. So I think this is going to be the funniest part, me operating a Mac, but I'll just give it a shot. See, engineers are scared of lots and lots of things, right? First and foremost, you know, these are the things I think engineers are most scared of. Death, right?  As a matter of fact, none of us are going to die early. We always have the habit of missing deadlines. Rest assured, we're going to stay up. Jitub, obvious reasons. Tummy, obviously, once you become an engineer, you become fat. In fact, we've become so fat that we can convert a binary train to linked list in a while.  Women, any women you're scared of, obviously, you don't want to talk to, you watch sap. What is there to talk, really? Pretty women, this even women are scared of, by the way.  And public speaking.  It's like Seinfeld saying it, right? The guy who is giving theology on somebody's funeral would rather be in the box. So I put on some tips for you guys, you know, just to avoid how do you curb the fear of public speaking? Couple of things you could do, right? Don't be too wordy in your slides. You need to make sure that you get the audience interested in your slides and having too many words in your presentation is a strict no-no. Although having everything on your presentation means that you don't have to remember anything you say, but some of us having too many words also gives them courage. It's all very nice to say, but oftentimes these words don't make any sense and you end up losing your audience because they'll be reading your slide, thinking there's something in it, and you're going to disappoint them big time if they discard at the end of the slide. That is an interesting thing. If they haven't still, you can be rest assured that they are deservedly in hollywood. You don't want to be doing that, right? And next thing, no inappropriate figures at all. Inappropriate figures hurt big time. If you're going to talk about something, talk about something less. You know, for example, this makes sense, right? Check magnet. You can actually see a couple of tricks actually, right? And no inappropriate references. All of us have this habit of, you know, referring to some book, some author, some shirt to say, you know, what we made a point. Don't do that, right? Using multiple colors and inappropriate references in your presentation shows awesomeness. Jesus, H Christ. H is his middle name, by the way. It's called Hesu. I'm just faking that out right now, right? But Jesus can't be right always, right? So this is what other people think of it. Jesus is just bluffing. It's awful doing colors, Monica Bellucci. Take it from the learned. Presentations are so much sexier in slow motion. You should follow this tip. They're not making any sense.  So this is by our Prime Minister. So keep up to it. And not too many bullets. This is like the most important thing. All of us keep putting bullet points, bullet points, bullet points, bullet points, one after one. Using too many bullet points will only mean that you or can have no clue about what he's talking. Limit the bullet to max of six. Even a real gun can contain only six bullets at a time. Why is this happening at the end? Thanks for that. And this is the other thing, typographical errors. Make sure you spell everything correctly, right? I think I'll conclude the PPT here. We could go on to next act. This is crude. This is crude. Any questions? We're good. Right? So if I offended somebody, I'm really sorry. Actually, I couldn't even figure where my personal decency is. As a matter of fact, I crossed mine time to time. That's all I have one in the first place. So engineers, right? Any Harry Potter fans in the crowd tonight?  So would I be booed at if I said I hated Harry Potter? Yeah, I hated Harry Potter. So did you guys follow JK Rowling, the writer-writer? A new book is coming up. Apparently it's for adults. Have you seen this? I know I was thinking about it, right? Finally, all these guys in Harry Potter who never got to use their wands can use it at once. Kudos to JK Rowling. I think this is one of the most awesomest things.  You know what I'm saying? I don't make up stereotypes. I just see them. You guys watch documentaries, right?  I'm sure you guys watch lots of documentaries. You do, right? It's all you do. I don't know. I've been watching CNN and NDTV off late where they're showing us one-hour shows, right? The documentaries that are borrowed from in various places and then put up, you know, on one person or a subject, do you guys realize there's millions of documentaries made? Millions. Hitler, right? For example, I've seen about 40, 50 documents on Hitler alone. I mean, it's not like it's a last straw or something, right? Let me watch this one documentary, then I'll frame my opinion on him. I don't even know what these guys are thinking about. There's always this background score guy, background voice guy in the documentary who talks about it. Hitler was a very bad person. He even killed his own dog. I couldn't help but wonder, five million Jews. All right, bro, anybody will make that mistake. He killed his own dog. What a jackass, right? I don't get the idea of a documentary. You see the same shit, time and again. It's like watching Ektakapu Kyunki Sashbi Kabi Bahuti or something. You always know what is coming, right?  I think the whole idea of making a documentary, I actually wanted to give you a demo of how these guys do a documentary, right? So Canon 40, 50 camera or something. So this is guy standing. We'll talk about Hitler today. Please, the slides. Please, the slides. And the slides will be about Hitler moving around the Jews and stuff. That's Hitler moving from here to there. Hitler is a good mover. You can see that in the documentary. And these guys don't even get sarcasm. Actually, my friends ask me to know why you're so sarcastic. You know the point is I'm not sarcastic. You just douchebags if you don't get sarcasm. There's a friend of mine who used to come to me and ask me, dude, how do I look today? Like, awesome, man. Man, thank you. I said, ah, I was just being sarcastic. He goes, why would you say something that's not true? Well, because that was not true. That's why he said it. And now when I am even serious, I'm like, dude, you want a butter scotch ice cream?  It doesn't sit with people of late. I kind of can't help but wonder how in the entire process of sarcasm is misrepresented in the community. You're not supposed to do jokes on women, obviously. And you're not supposed to do jokes on politicians. Well, that you can maybe. We all do that on Twitter. And you're not supposed to do jokes on your manager. I can't just sitting here. I work in a startup. That's funny though. I work in a startup by name I do phone labs. We make commuter apps. If any VCs sitting here in a nutshell, I do phone labs, makes apps for commuters. We also do lots of cool stuff for information you can current on the Gmail.com. And just saying, you know, you might as well use the opportunity. Somebody said Flipkart was hiring, right?  And I tell this to my parents, right? My relatives and stuff. Where do you work? I do phone labs. What do you guys do? Make SIM cards? Yeah, more or less make SIM cards and sell them. And my uncle goes to another whole another level of asking me, right? So do you guys make real apps? Like, what is real apps?  How you always ask these guys, uncle, what is this guy doing? The married men and women, when you were very young, you wanted to ask about what these guys were doing when they go inside the room. You ask your uncle or aunt or whatever it is. Or what is this guy doing inside the room? And they go, you'll know when you age. And technology, I think, is the greatest leveler. Now you can just take the phone, turn it to Japanese and say, enjoy your phone. You have your revenge there. It's kind of funny, though.   Remember 1990s? Don't remember 1990s. I mean, none of you look so young anywhere. I mean, remember 1990s where there was no Google, no Facebook, no Twitter obviously, where you can just win an argument with a lie. All you had to do was, I swear to God. Studies promise. I swear to God. The days are gone and today is like, keep talking, bro. Keep talking. You're in Google here. Keep talking. We'll see. Yeah, sure. Totally. Completely. You can't even fake anything today. I have immense respect for engineers.  But still be happy about being an engineer. That's awesome. You guys watch porn?  You know that U-Porn for a fact is the largest earning thing.  You guys know that, right?  You and I are not the only ones watching it. Seriously. Now if I could give an advice to a 17-year-old myself who has space-time continuum, I'd probably tell him, yeah, if you have google.com open every time somebody walks into your room, they know what you're watching. You know, all of us did that, right? The folder named virus, right? Some of us even installed Linux because your parents wouldn't touch it. We did that. You know, let's not be ashamed of the fact. I mean, we did that. We have had to be like, oh, this, this, this. I'm not supposed to touch maybe. In fact, my dad was never happy with whatever I was doing anyway. The whole idea of startup didn't sit well with me, with him, with me, yeah, with him, right? And the idea of me doing stand-up comedy is like, you make people laugh. Why do you even have to do anything about it? You just go and stand there, like, totally, right? You know, I'm from Hyderabad. Don't have any bombs, but I can prove it to you if you need it. You know, Hyderabad, right? South Indian parents get really aggressive when they're naming their kids.  Mr. Aravalli Srinivas. Hey, what's that again? Ramachandra, right? Mr. Aravalli Srinivas Ramachandra Kaushik.  He goes about saying, do you know what you've done? And you're thinking, so tell him if I know what you've done? Okay, let's wait for a while. Do you know how much it costed me? Uh, five grand?  Oh, sorry. Do you know what that guy, what is that guy's name? What is that guy's name? Rajiv, right? Do you know how Rajiv is? Uh, he's Pradeep.   He has his best one-liners, right? I grew up in a nerd colony, so I can kind of picture what you state of mind anyway, right?  I was the last guy to win anything there, right? These guys have lots of certificates, right? Obviously, everybody's like, I won this, I won that and the only thing I ever had was a birth certificate. That do not because I was good at it. Yeah, all of us go through that. So, I kind of figured it out. I was thinking I'll pay my little tribute to the hero I look up to, Don MacMillan. So, I put forward, I put an act for you guys. How do you tell one person from another by asking one simple question? What is it one simple question you could ask to anybody and be restricted to know what the profession is, right? The question is what is pi? You ask this question and you can, by the answer you get, you can almost always tell what the guy's profession is. You ask a mathematician that what is pi? It probably tell you always ratio of the circumference circle to its diameter because they hate to be pinned down to numbers. You ask them what is two pleasure they go. It should be two times two, but I'm sure it's four, yeah, two more I could be four.  And you ask a scientist, a physicist, it go pi 3.141516, if it's really committed it'll go on forever, right? And you ask an engineer that, he'll probably go pi, pi is 3.2, but you know I write it as 3.4. You know I just round it off to four.  Right? And you ask a CEO of that. We don't have anybody here, right? We do. We ask a CEO, boy, boy, boy, it's delicious. I just had one. And you ask a manager that, he goes, uh, when do you need this by tomorrow evening?  Totally. And you ask a salesperson the same question you tell you. Engineers will tell you it's 3.2, but I'll give you for 2.6. 2.2 is the last call.  Thank you very much guys. You guys have been awesome.


With forward pay from Appalachian Wireless, you'll avoid contracts and credit checks while taking advantage of some awesome perks, like unlimited talk, text, and three gigs of data for just $44.99, or with five gigs for a mere $59.99. Forward pay, that's today's Appalachian Wireless. 50-year-old Michael Lowe was found dead by family members Tuesday afternoon in his apartment at the Mountain Breeze Apartments at Burdine near Jenkins. Little information has been released about Lowe's death. The initial investigation began as a death investigation led by Kentucky State Police, who were at the scene serving an unrelated warrant when Lowe was found. The family has been notified.  That's all the information that we can give at this time, however. Our condolences do go to the family, though. The following day, however, Letra County Coroner Perry Fowler said injuries Lowe had suffered were consistent with foul play. Fowler did not give any details on the injuries or what may have caused them. Social media was abuzz Tuesday evening and Wednesday, however, with rumors of a murderer on the loose in Jenkins. Jenkins Police Chief Jim Stevens acknowledged those rumors and he said he wanted to assure the public that whatever, or whomever, may have caused Lowe's death was likely part of an isolated incident. Everything still is being investigated, but at this time we've got no evidence showing that it was nothing other than an isolated incident. The rumors that there's somebody out there going around doing this is farthest from the truth. At this time there's no evidence that this was nothing more than just one incident at this particular location. Stevens said that while the community is safe, despite Lowe's death, persons in any community should be aware of their surroundings. It's as safe a situation as it can be right now anywhere in our city or our county for that matter, but you just have to be careful no matter who you're dealing with because this kind of thing can happen. It's not very often, but by being aware of what's going on around you, that'll help out too. So we're not saying that there's not danger out there because obviously things happen, but in this instance this seems to be very isolated and people should feel like fairly safe and secure in their own homes especially. No arrests have been made and no charges have been filed yet in Lowe's death. Reporting in Jenkins for EKB News, I'm Chris Anderson.


My name is Juna Duman. I'm a PhD student at Toru University-Bochum. And in this short video abstract, I'm going to talk about you on our work on group action-based key encapsulation and non-attractive key exchange in the quantum random rock model. And this is a joint work with Dominic Hartmann, Ike Kils, Sabrina Kunzweiler, Jonas Lehmann and Doreen Riepel. So what is a non-attractive key exchange? We have Alice and Bob, and they have a secret and public keys. And they exchange their public keys. And besides exchanging their public keys, there's no interaction and they can compute a shared key. And the Diffie-Helman key exchange is G to the A, B. And the Diffie-Helman key exchange is passively secure under the decisional Diffie-Helman assumption, which states that G to the A, given G to the A, G to the B and G to the A, B is a computationally indistinguishable from G to the A, G to the B, G to the U. For A, B and U, uniformly random from set P where P is the prime order of the group. Now, there's a slight variant of the Diffie-Helman key exchange called hash Diffie-Helman. And here the shared key G to the A, B is additionally hashed using hash function H. Also here we include the public keys. And interestingly, this is actually actively secure under the strong CDH assumption and the random model model. And what does a strong CDH assumption state? It states that it's difficult to compute G to the A, B, given G to the A and G to the B and additional access to an oracle. Decisional oracle, which decides whether G to the G1, exponentiated by A equals G2. So in a quantum world, we don't have the Diffie-Helman key exchange anymore, at least not the classical one, because discrete logarithms are efficiently computable by large quantum computers. And for lettuces and codes, it's an open research question to build efficient Nike. But from my Solgene-based cryptography, like C-Side, we have a candidate for quantum assistant Nike. And in our work, we take the more abstract view of group actions, or the group action framework. And what is a group action? It's a group G and set X together with a map. And the map maps from G and X to X. And we have some additional conditions, which I'm going to talk about more in the full version of the talk. So in our title, we say we studied in the quantum random oracle model. So what's a random quantum random oracle model? Well, if you want to study the quantum assistance of schemes and we are in the random oracle model, then we have to assume actually access to quantum access to the hash function, because a quantum computer can compute the hash function locally and then do superposition queries. So this is actually then the right model to study quantum assistance of schemes and the right extension of the random oracle model. So now let us talk what we do in our work. So we have the group action-based hash DVM and key exchange here. And what we do is we prove that the active security of the scheme and the Q-ROM using the group action quantum strong CDH assumption. And we show that such an assumption is necessary. And we show how to weaken the assumption by alternative constructions, for example, using training or key confirmation and we prove also the corresponding camp secure. So this is the last slide of this short video abstract. I look forward to see it the full version of the talk.