Preface and Chapter 1 of The Loss of the SS Titanic, Its Stories and Its Lessons by Lawrence Beasley. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recorded by Allison Hester. The Loss of the SS Titanic by Lawrence Beasley. Preface. The circumstances in which this book came to be written are as follows. Some five weeks after the survivors from the Titanic landed in New York, I was the guest at luncheon of Honorable Samuel J. Elder and Honorable Charles T. Gallagher, both well-known lawyers in Boston. After luncheon, I was asked to relate to those present the experiences of the survivors in leaving the Titanic and reaching the Carpathia. When I had done so, Mr. Robert Lincoln O'Brien, the editor of the Boston Herald, urged me as a matter of public interest to write a correct history of the Titanic disaster, his reason being that he knew several publications were in preparation by people who had not been present at the disaster, but from newspaper accounts were piecing together a description of it. He said that these publications would probably be erroneous, full of highly colored details and generally calculated to disturb public thought on the matter. He was supported in his request by all present, and under this general pressure, I accompanied him to Mezzer's Houghton Mifflin Company, where we discussed the question of publication. Mezzer's Houghton Mifflin Company took at that time exactly the same view that I did, that it was probably not advisable to put on record the incidents connected with the Titanic sinking. It seemed better to forget details as rapidly as possible. However, we decided to take a few days to think about it. At our next meeting we found ourselves in agreement again, but this time on the common ground that it would probably be a wise thing to write a history of the Titanic disaster as correctly as possible. I was supported in this decision by the fact that a short account, which I wrote at intervals aboard the Carpathia, in the hope that it would calm public opinion by stating the truth of what had happened as nearly as I could recollect it, appeared in all the American, English, and colonial papers, and had exactly the effect it was intended to have. This encourages me to hope that the effect of this work will be the same. Another matter aided me in coming to a decision. The duty that we, as survivors of the disaster, owe to those who went down with the ship to see that the reforms so urgently needed are not allowed to be forgotten. Whoever reads the account of the cries that came to us afloat on the sea from those sinking in the ice cold water must remember that they were addressed to him just as much as to those who heard them, and that the duty of seeing that reforms are carried out devolves on everyone who knows that such cries were heard in utter helplessness. The night the Titanic sank. End of Preface, Chapter 1 Construction and Preparations for the First Voyage The history of the RMS Titanic, of the White Star Line, is one of the most tragically short it is possible to conceive. The world had waited expectantly for its launching and again for its sailing, had read accounts of its tremendous size and its unexampled completeness and luxury, had felt it a matter of the greatest satisfaction that such a comfortable and above all such a safe boat had been designed and built, the unsinkable lifeboat. And then, in a moment, to hear that it had gone to the bottom as if it had been the various tramp steamer of a few hundred tons, and with it fifteen hundred passengers, some of them known the world over. The improbability of such a thing ever happening was what staggered humanity. If its history had to be written in a single paragraph, it would be somewhat as follows. The RMS Titanic was built by Messers Harland and Wolf at their well-known shipbuilding works at Queen's Island, Belfast, side by side with her sister ship, the Olympic. The twin vessels marked such an increase in size that specially laid out joiner and boiler shops were prepared to aid in their construction, and the space usually taken up by three building slips was given to them. The keel of the Titanic was laid on March 31, 1909 and she was launched on May 31, 1911. She passed her trials before the Board of Trade Officials on March 31, 1912 at Belfast, arrived in Southampton on April 4, and sailed the following Wednesday, April 10, with 2,208 passengers and crew on her maiden voyage to New York. She called at Shearborg the same day, Queenstown Thursday, and left for New York in the afternoon expecting to arrive the following Wednesday morning, but the voyage was never completed. She collided with an iceberg on Sunday at 11.45 p.m. in latitude 41 degrees, 46 north, and longitude 50 degrees, 14 west, and sank two and a half hours later, 815 of her passengers and 688 of her crew were drowned, and 705 rescued by the Carpathia. Such is the record of the Titanic, the largest ship the world had ever seen. She was three inches longer than the Olympic and 1,000 tons more in gross tonnage. And her end was the greatest maritime disaster known. The whole civilized world was stirred to its depths when the full extent of loss of life was learned, and it has not yet recovered from the shock. And that is without doubt a good thing. It should not recover from it until the possibility of such a disaster occurring again has been utterly removed from human society, whether by separate legislation in different countries or by international agreement. No living person should seek to dwell in thought for one moment on such a disaster, except in the endeavor to glean from it knowledge that will be a profit to the whole world in the future. When such knowledge is practically applied in the construction, equipment, and navigation of passenger steamers, and not until then, will be the time to cease to think of the Titanic disaster and of the hundreds of men and women so needlessly sacrificed. A few words on the ship's construction and equipment will be necessary in order to make clear many points that arise in the course of this book. A few figures have been added which it is hoped will help the reader to follow events more closely than he otherwise could. The considerations that inspired the builders to design the Titanic on the lines on which she was constructed were those of speed, weight of displacement, passenger and cargo accommodation. High speed is very expensive because the initial cost of the necessary powerful machinery is enormous, the running expenses and trail very heavy, and passenger and cargo accommodation have to be fined down to make the resistance through the water as little as possible and to keep the weight down. An increase in size brings a builder at once into conflict with the question of dock and harbor accommodation at the ports she will touch. If her total displacement is very great while the lines are kept slender for speed, the draft limit may be exceeded. The Titanic, therefore, was built on broader lines than the ocean racers, increasing the total displacement, but because of the broader build she was able to keep within the draft limit at each port she visited. At the same time, she was able to accommodate more passengers and cargo, and thereby increased largely her earning capacity. The vessel, when completed, was 883 feet long, 92 and one-half feet broad. Her height from keel to bridge was 104 feet. She had eight steel decks, a cellular double bottom, five and one-fourth feet through, the inner and outer skins, so-called, and with bilge keels projecting two feet for 300 feet of her length amid ships. These latter were intended to lessen the tendency to roll an AC. They no doubt did so very well, but, as it happened, they proved to be a weakness. For this was the first portion of the ship touched by the iceberg, and it has been suggested that the keels were forced inwards by the collision and made the work of smashing in the two skins a more simple matter. Not that the final result would have been any different. Her machinery was an expression of the latest progress in marine engineering, being a combination of reciprocating engines with Parsons' low-pressure turbine engine, a combination which gives increased power with the same steam consumption and advance on the use of reciprocating engines alone.  To drive these engines she had 29 enormous boilers and 159 furnaces, three elliptical funnels, 24 feet 6 inches in the widest diameter, took away smoke and water gases. The fourth one was a dummy for ventilation. She was fitted with 16 lifeboats, 30 feet long, swung on davits of the wheeling double acting type. These davits are specially designed for dealing with two, and were necessary, three sets of lifeboats, i.e. 48 altogether, more than enough to have saved every soul on board on the night of the collision. She was divided into 16 compartments by 15 transverse watertight bulkheads reaching from the double bottom to the upper deck in the forward end and to the saloon deck in the after end, in both cases well above the water line. The connection between the engine rooms and boiler rooms was through watertight doors, which could all be closed instantly from the captain's bridge. A single switch controlling powerful electromagnets operated them. They could also be closed by hand with a lever, and in case the floor below them was flooded by accident, a float underneath the flooring shut them automatically. These compartments were so designed that if the two largest were flooded with water, a most unlikely contingency in the ordinary way, the ship would still be quite safe. Of course, more than two were flooded the night of the collision, but exactly how many is not yet thoroughly established. Her crew had a complement of 860 made up of 475 stewards, cooks, etc., 320 engineers, and 65 engaged in her navigation. The machinery and equipment of the Titanic was the finest obtainable and represented the last word in marine construction. All her structure was of steel, of a weight, size, and thickness greater than that of any ship yet known. The girders, beams, bulkheads, and floors all of exceptional strength. It would hardly seem necessary to mention this, were it not that there is an impression among a portion of the general public that the provision of Turkish baths, gymnasiums, and other so-called luxuries involved a sacrifice of some more essential things, the absence of which was responsible for the loss of so many lives. But this is quite an erroneous impression. All these things were an additional provision for the comfort and convenience of passengers, and there is no more reason why they should not be provided on these ships than in a large hotel. There were places on the Titanic's deck where more boats and rafts could have been stored without sacrificing these things. The fault lay in not providing them, not in designing the ship without places to put them. On whom the responsibility must rest for their not being provided is another matter and must be left until later. When arranging a tour around the United States, I had decided to cross in the Titanic for several reasons, one that it was a rather novelty to be on board the largest ship yet launched, and another that friends who had crossed in the Olympic described her as a most comfortable boat in a seaway. And it was reported that the Titanic had been still further improved in this respect by having a thousand tons more built in to steady her. I went on board at Southampton at 10 a.m. Wednesday, April 10, after staying the night in the town. It is pathetic to recall that as I sat that morning in the breakfast room of a hotel, from the windows of which could be seen the four huge funnels of the Titanic towering over the roofs of the various shipping offices opposite, and the procession of stokers and stewards winding their way to the ship, there sat behind me three of the Titanic's passengers discussing the coming voyage and estimating, among other things, the probabilities of an accident at sea to the ship. As I rose from breakfast, I glanced at the group and recognized them later on board, but they were not among the number who answered to the roll call on the Carpathia the following Monday morning. Between the time of going on board and sailing, I inspected and the company of two friends who had come from Exeter to see me off the various decks, dining saloons, and libraries. And so extensive were they that it is no exaggeration to say it was quite easy to lose one's way on such a ship. We wandered casually into the gymnasium on the boat deck and were engaged in bicycle exercise when the instructor came in with two photographers and insisted on our remaining there while his friends, as we thought at the time, made a record for him of his apparatus in use. It was only later that we discovered that they were the photographers of one of the illustrated London papers. More passengers came in and the instructor ran here and there looking the very picture of robust, rosy-cheeked health and fitness in his white flannels, placing one passenger on the electric horse, another on the camel, while the laughing group of onlookers watched the inexperienced riders vigorously shaken up and down as he controlled the little motor which made the machines imitate so realistically horse and camel exercise. It is related that on the night of the disaster, right up to the time before the Titanic sinking, while the band grouped outside the gymnasium doors played with such supreme courage in face of the water which rose foot by foot before their eyes, the instructor was on duty inside with passengers on the bicycles and the rowing machines still assisting and encouraging to the last. Along with the band's men, it is fitting that his name, which I do not think has yet been put on record. It is Macaulay, should have a place in the honorable list of those who did their duty faithfully to the ship and the line they served. End of Chapter 1, Chapter 2 of The Loss of the Titanic by Lawrence Beasley. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain, recorded by Allison Hester. Chapter 2 From Southampton to the Night of the Collision. Soon after noon, the whistles blew for friends to go ashore. The gangways were withdrawn and the Titanic moved slowly down the dock to the accompaniment of last messages and shouted farewells of those on the keep. There was no cheering or hooting of steamers' whistles from the fleet of ships that lined the dock, as might seem probable on the occasion of the largest vessel in the world putting to sea on her maiden voyage. The whole scene was quiet and rather ordinary, with little of the picturesque and interesting ceremonial which imagination paints as usual in such circumstances. But if this was lacking, two unexpected dramatic incidents supplied a thrill of excitement and interest to the departure from dock. The first of these occurred just before the last gangway was withdrawn. A knot of stokers ran along the key with their kit slung over their shoulders and bundles and made for the gangway with the evident intention of joining the ship. But a petty officer guarding the shore end of the gangway firmly refused to allow them on board. They argued, gesticulated, apparently attempting to explain the reasons why they were late, but he remained obdurate and waved them back with a determined hand. The gangway was dragged back amid their protests, putting a summary ending to their determined efforts to join the Titanic. Those stokers must be thankful men today that some circumstance, whether their own lack of punctuality or some unforeseen delay over which they had no control, prevented their being in time to run up that last gangway. They will have told and will no doubt tell for years the story of how their lives were probably saved by being too late to join the Titanic. The second incident occurred soon afterwards, and while it has no doubt been thoroughly described at the time by those on shore, perhaps a view of the occurrence from the deck of the Titanic will not be without interest. As the Titanic moved majestically down the dock, the crowd of friends keeping pace with us along the key, we came together, level with the steamer New York, lying moored to the side of the dock along with the oceanic, the crowd waving goodbyes to those on board, as well as they could for the intervening bulk of the two ships. But as the bowels of our ship came about level with those of the New York, there came a series of reports like those of a revolver, and on the key side of the New York, snaky coils of thick rope flung themselves high in the air and fell backwards among the crowd, which retreated an alarm to escape the flying ropes. We hoped that no one was struck by the ropes, but a sailor next to me was certain he saw a woman carried away to receive attention. And then to our amazement, the New York crept towards us, slowly and stealthily, as if drawn by some invisible force which she was powerless to withstand. It reminded me instantly of an experiment I had shown many times to a form of boys learning the elements of physics in a laboratory in which a small magnet is made to float on a cork in a bowl of water, and small steel objects placed on neighboring pieces of cork are drawn up to the floating magnet by magnetic force. It reminded me, too, of seeing in my little boy's bath how a large celluloid floating duck would draw towards itself by what is called capillary attraction. Smaller ducks, frogs, beetles, and other animal folk until the menagerie floated about as a unit, oblivious of their natural antipathies and reminding us of the happy families one sees in cages and on the seashore. On the New York, there was shouting of orders, sailors running to and fro, paying out ropes and putting mats over the side where it seemed likely we should collide. The tug, which had a few moments before, cast off from the bowels of the Titanic, came up around our stern and passed to the key side of the New York's stern, made fast to her, and started to haul her back with all the force her engines were capable of, but it did not seem that the tug made much impression on the New York. Apart from the serious nature of the accident, it made an irresistibly comic picture to see the huge vessel drifting down the dock with a snorting tug at its heels. For all the world, like a small boy dragging a diminutive puppy down the road with its teeth locked on a piece of rope, its feet splayed out, its head and body shaking from side to side in the effort to get every ounce of its weight used to the best advantage. At first, all appearance showed that the sterns of the two vessels would collide, but from the stern bridge of the Titanic, an officer directing operations stopped us dead. The suction ceased, and the New York, with her tug trailing behind, moved obliquely down the dock, her stern gliding along the side of the Titanic some few yards away. It gave an extraordinary impression of the absolute helplessness of a big liner in the absence of any motive power to guide her. But all excitement was not yet over. The New York turned her bowels inward towards the key, her sterns swinging just clear of and passing in front of our bowels and moved slowly head on for the teutonic lying moored to the side. Tugs were quickly got out and so deadened the force of the collision, which from where we were seemed to be too slight to cause any damage. Another tug came up and took hold of the New York by the bowels, and between the two of them they dragged her round the corner of the key which just here came to an end on the side of the river. We now moved slowly ahead and passed the teutonic at a creeping pace. But notwithstanding this, the latter strained at her ropes so much that she healed over several degrees in her effort to follow the Titanic. The crowd were shouted back, a group of gold braided officials, probably the harbormaster and his staff, standing on the seaside of the moored ropes, jumped back over them as they drew up, talked to a rigid line, and urged the crowd back still farther. But we were just clear, and as we slowly turned the corner into the river, I saw the teutonic swing slowly back into her normal station, relieving the tension alike of the ropes and of the minds of all who witnessed the incident. Unpleasant as this incident was, it was interesting to all the passengers leaning over the rails to see the means adopted by the officers and crew of the various vessels to avoid collision. To see on the Titanic's docking bridge at the stern, an officer and seaman telephoning and ringing bells, hauling up and down little red and white flags as danger of collision alternately threatened and diminished. No one was more interested than a young American kinematograph photographer, who, with his wife, followed the whole scene with eager eyes, turning the handle of his camera with the most evident pleasure as he recorded the unexpected incident on his films. It was obviously quite a windfall for him to have been on board at such a time. But neither the film nor those who exposed it reached the other side, and the record of the accident from the Titanic's deck has never been thrown on screen. As we steamed down the river, the scene we had just witnessed was the topic of every conversation. The comparison with the Olympic Hulk collision was drawn in every little group of passengers, and it seemed to be generally agreed that this would confirm the suction theory, which was so successfully advanced by the cruiser Hulk in the law courts. But which many people scoffed at when the British Admiralty first suggested it as the explanation of the cruiser ramming the Olympic. And since this is an attempt to chronicle facts as they happened on board the Titanic, it must be recorded that there were, among the passengers and such of the crew, as were heard to speak on the matter, the direst misgivings at the incident we had just witnessed. Sailors are proverbial superstitious. Far too many people are prone to follow their lead, or indeed the lead of anyone who asserts a statement with an air of conviction and the opportunity of constant repetition. The sense of mystery that shrouds a prophetic utterance, particularly if it be an ominous one, for so constituted apparently is the human mind that it will receive the impress of an evil prophecy far more readily than it will that of a beneficent one, possibly through subservient fear to the thing it dreads, possibly through the degraded morbid attraction which the sense of evil has for the innate evil in the human mind, leads many people to pay a certain respect to superstitious theories. Not that they wholly believe in them, or would wish their dearest friends to know they ever gave them a second thought, but the feeling that other people do so, and the half conviction that there may be something in it after all, sways them into tacit obedience to the most absurd and childish theories. I wish in a later chapter to discuss the subject of superstition and its reference to our life on board the Titanic, but we'll anticipate events here a little by relating a second so-called bad omen which was hatched at Queenstown. As one of the tenders containing passengers and males neared the Titanic, some of those on board gazed up at the liner towering above them and saw a stoker's head, black from his work in the stokehold below, peering out at them from the top of one of the enormous funnels, a dummy one, for ventilation, that rose many feet above the highest deck. He had climbed up inside for a joke, but to some of those who saw him there, the sight was seed for the growth of an omen which bore fruit in an unknown dread of dangers to come. An American lady, may she forgive me if she reads these lines, has related to me with the deepest conviction and earnestness of manner that she saw the man and attributes the sinking of the Titanic largely to that. Errant foolishness, you may say, yes indeed, but not to those who believe in it, and it is well not to have such prophetic thoughts of danger passed round among the passengers and crew, it would seem to have an unhealthy influence. We dropped down spit-head past the shores of the Isle of Wight, looking superbly beautiful in its new spring foliage. Exchanged salutes with a white star tug, lying too in wait for one of their liners inward bound, and saw in the distance several warships with attendant black destroyers guarding the entrance from the sea. In the calmest weather, we made share-burg just as it grew dusk, and left again about eight-thirty after taking on board passengers and males. We reached Queenstown about twelve noon on Thursday, after a most enjoyable passage across the channel, although the wind was almost too cold to allow of sitting out on deck on Thursday morning. The coast of Ireland looked very beautiful as we approached Queenstown Harbor, the brilliant morning sun showing up the green hillsides and picking out groups of dwellings dotted here and there above the rugged gray cliffs that fringed the coast. We took on board our pilot, ran slowly towards the harbor with the sounding line dropping all the time, and came to a stop well out to sea, with our screws churning up the bottom and turning the sea all brown with sand from below. It had seemed to me that the ship stopped rather suddenly, and in my ignorance of the depth of the harbor entrance, that perhaps the sounding line had revealed a smaller depth than was thought safe for the great size of the Titanic. This seemed to be confirmed by the sight of sand churned up from the bottom. But this is mere supposition. Passengers and males were put on board from two tenders, and nothing could have given us a better idea of the enormous length and bulk of the Titanic than to stand as far as stern as possible and look over the side from the top deck, forwards and downwards to where the tenders rolled at her bowels. The merest cockleshells beside the majestic vessel that rose deck after deck above them. Truly, she was a magnificent boat. There was something so graceful in her movement as she rode up and down on the slight swell in the harbor, a slow, stately dip and recover, only noticeable by watching her bowels in comparison with some landmark on the coast in the near distance. The two little tenders tossing up and down like corks beside her illustrated vividly the advance made in comfort of motion from the time of the small steamer. Presently, the work of transfer was ended. The tenders cast off, and at 1.30 p.m., with the screws churning up the sea bottom again, the Titanic turned slowly through a quarter circle until her nose pointed down along the Irish coast, and then steamed rapidly away from Queenstown, the little house on the left of the town gleaming white on the hillside for many miles of stern. In our wake, sword and screamed hundreds of gulls which had quarreled and fought over the remnants of lunch pouring out of the wastepipes as we lay to in the harbor entrance. And now they followed us in the expectation of further spoil. I watched them for a long time, and was astonished at the ease with which they soared and kept up with the ship with hardly a motion of their wings. Taking out a particular gull, I would keep them under observation for minutes at a time and see no motion of his wings downwards or upwards to aid in his flight. He would tilt all of a piece to one side or another as the gusts of wind caught him. Rigidly unbendable as an aeroplane tilts sideways in a puff of wind. And yet with graceful ease he kept pace with the Titanic forging through the water at twenty knots. As the wind met him, he would rise upwards and obliquely forwards and come down slantingly again, his wings curved in a beautiful arch and his tail feathers outspread as a fan. It was plain that he was possessed of a secret we are only just beginning to learn, that of utilizing air currents as escalators up and down which he can glide at will with the expenditure of the minimum amount of energy or of using them as a ship does when it sails within one or two points of a headwind. Aviators, of course, are imitating the gull and soon perhaps we may see an aeroplane or a glider dipping gracefully up and down in the face of an opposing wind and all the time forging ahead across the Atlantic Ocean. The gulls were still behind us when night fell and still they screamed and dipped down into the broad wake of foam which we left behind, but in the morning they were gone. Perhaps they had seen in the night a steamer bound for their Queen's Town home and had escorted her back. All afternoon we steamed along the coast of Ireland with gray cliffs guarding the shores and hills rising behind gaunt and barren. As dust fell the coast rounded away from us to the northwest and the last we saw of Europe was the Irish mountains dim and faint in the dropping darkness. With the thought that we had seen the last of land until we set foot on the shores of America I retired to the library to write letters little knowing that many things would happen to us all, many experiences, sudden, vivid and impressive to be encountered, many perils to be faced, many good and true people for whom we should have to mourn before we saw land again. There is very little to relate from the time of leaving Queen's Town on Thursday to Sunday morning. The sea was calm, so calm indeed that very few were absent from mills. The wind westerly and southwesternly, fresh as the daily chart described it, but often rather cold, generally too cold to sit on deck to read or write so that many of us spent a good part of the time in the library reading and writing. I wrote a large number of letters and posted them day by day in the box outside the library door, possibly they are there yet. Each morning the sun rose behind us in a sky of circular clouds stretching round the horizon in long narrow streaks and rising tear upon tear above the skyline, red and pink and fading from pink to white as the sun rose higher in the sky. It was a beautiful sight to one who had not crossed the ocean before or indeed then out of sight of the shores of England to stand on the top deck and watch the swell of the sea extending outwards from the ship in an unbroken circle until it met the skyline with its hint of infinity. Behind the wake of the vessel, white with foam where, fancy suggested, the propeller blades had cut up the long Atlantic rollers and with them made a level white road bounded on either side by banks of green, blue and blue-green waves that would presently sweep away the white road, though as yet it stretched back to the horizon and dipped over the edge of the world back to Ireland and the Gulls, while along it the morning sun glittered and sparkled and each night the sun sank right in our eyes along the sea making an undulating glittering pathway, a golden track charted on the surface of the ocean which our ship followed unswervingly until the sun dipped below the edge of the horizon and the pathway ran ahead of us faster than we could steam and slipped over the edge of the skyline as if the sun had been a golden ball and had wound up its thread of gold too quickly for us to follow. From twelve noon Thursday to twelve noon Friday we ran three hundred eighty-six miles. Friday to Saturday five hundred nineteen miles. Saturday to Sunday five hundred forty-six miles. The second day's run of five hundred nineteen miles was, the purser told us, a disappointment and we should not dock until Wednesday morning instead of Tuesday night as we had expected. However, on Sunday we were glad to see a longer run had been made and it was thought we should make New York after all on Tuesday night. The purser remarked, they are not pushing her this trip and don't intend to make any fast running. I don't suppose we shall do more than five hundred forty-six now. It is not a bad day's run for the first trip. This was at lunch and I remember the conversation then turned to the speed and build of Atlantic liners as factors in their comfort of motion. All those who had crossed many times were unanimous in saying the Titanic was the most comfortable boat they had been on and they preferred the speed we were making to that of the faster boats from the point of view of lessened vibration as well as because the faster boats would bore through the waves with a twisted screw like motion instead of the straight up and down swing of the Titanic. I then called the attention of our table to the way the Titanic listed to port. I had noticed this before and we all watched the skyline through the portholes as we sat at the purser's table in the saloon. It was plain she did so for the skyline and sea on the port side were visible most of the time and on the starboard and on the and on the starboard only sky. The purser remarked that probably coal had been used mostly from the starboard side. It is no doubt a common occurrence for all vessels to list to some degree but in view of the fact that the Titanic was cut open on the starboard side and before she sank listed so much to port that there was quite a chasm between her and the swinging like. But in view of the fact that the Titanic was cut open on the starboard side and before she sank listed so much to port that there was quite a chasm between her and the swinging lifeboats across which ladies had to be thrown or to cross on chairs laid flat. The previous listing to port may be of interest. Returning for a moment to the motion of the Titanic. It was interesting to stand on the boat deck as I frequently did in the angle between lifeboats 13 and 15 on the starboard side. Two boats I have every reason to remember for the first carried me in safety to the Carpathia and it seemed likely at one time that the other would come down on our heads as we sat in 13 trying to get away from the ship side and watch the general motion of the ship through the waves resolve itself into two motions. One to be observed by contrasting the docking bridge from which the log line trailed away behind in the foaming wake with the horizon and observing the long slow heave as we rode up and down. I timed the average period occupied in one up and down vibration but do not now remember the figures. The second motion was a side to side roll and could be calculated by watching the port rail and contrasting it with the horizon as before. It seemed likely that this double motion is due to the angle at which our direction to New York cuts the general set of the Gulf Stream sweeping from the Gulf of Mexico across to Europe. But the almost clock like regularity of the two vibratory movements was what attracted my attention. It was while watching the side roll that I first became aware of the list to port. Looking down a stern from the boat deck or from B deck to the steerage quarters, I often noticed how the third class passengers were enjoying every minute of the time. A most uproarious skipping game of the mixed double type was the great favorite while in and out and roundabout went a scotchman with his bagpipes playing something that Gilbert says faintly resembled an air. Standing aloof from all of them, generally on the raised stern deck above the playing field was a man of about 20 to 24 years of age, well dressed, always gloved and nicely groomed and obviously quite out of place among his fellow passengers. He never looked happy all the time. I watched him and classified him at hazard as the man who had been a failure in some way at home and had received the proverbial shilling plus third class fare to America. He did not look resolute enough or happy enough to be working out his own problem. Another interesting man was traveling steerage but had placed his wife in the second cabin. He would climb up to the top of the boat deck and had placed his wife in the second cabin. He would climb the stairs leading from the steerage to the second deck and talk affectionately with his wife across the low gate which separated them. I never saw him after the collision but I think his wife was on the Carpathia. Whether they ever saw each other on the Sunday night is very doubtful. He would not at first be allowed on the second class deck and if he were the chances of seeing his wife in the darkness and the crowd would be very small indeed. Of all those playing so happily on the steerage deck I did not recognize many afterwards on the Carpathia. Coming now to Sunday the day on which the Titanic struck the iceberg it will be interesting perhaps to give the day's events in some detail to appreciate the general attitude of passengers to their surroundings just before the collision. Service was held in the saloon by the purser in the morning and going on deck after lunch we found such a change in temperature that not many cared to remain to face the bitter wind. An artificial wind created mainly if not entirely by the ship's rapid motion through the chilly atmosphere. I should judge there was no wind blowing at the time for I had noticed about the same force of wind approaching Queenstown to find that it died away as soon as we stopped only to rise again as we steamed away from the harbor. Returning to the library I stopped for a moment to read again the day's run and observe our position on the chart. The Reverend Mr. McCarter the Reverend Mr. Carter a clergyman of the Church of England was similarly engaged and we renewed a conversation we had enjoyed for some days. It had commenced with a discussion of the relative merits of his university Oxford with mine it had commenced with a discussion of the relative merits of his university Oxford with mine Cambridge as worldwide educational agencies the opportunities at each for the formation of character apart from mere education as such and had led on to the lack of sufficiently qualified men to take up the work of the Church of England a matter apparently on which he felt very deeply and from that to his own work in England as a priest he told me some of his parish problems and spoke of the impossibility of doing half his work in his church without the help his wife gave I knew her only slightly at that time but meeting her later in the day I realized something of what he meant and attributing a large part of what success he had as a vicar to her my only excuse for mentioning these details about the Carter's now and later in the day is that while they have perhaps not much interest for the average reader they will no doubt be some comfort to the parish over which he presided and where I am sure he was loved he next mentioned the absence of a service in the evening and asked if I knew the purse or well enough to request the use of the saloon in the evening where he would like to have a him sing song the purse or gave his consent at once and Mr. Carter made preparations during the afternoon by asking all he knew and many he did not to come to the saloon at eight thirty p.m. the library was crowded that afternoon owing to the cold on deck but through the windows we could see the clear sky with brilliant sunlight that seemed to auger a fine night and a clear day tomorrow and the prospect of landing in two days with calm weather all the way to New York was a matter of general satisfaction among us all I can look back and see every detail of the library that afternoon the beautifully furnished room with lounges arm chairs and small writing or card table scattered about writing bureaus round the walls of the room and the library in glass cased shelves flanking one side the whole finished in mahogany relieved with white blueded wooden columns that supported the deck above through the windows there is the covered corridor reserved by general consent as the children's playground and here are playing the two Navajo children with their father devoted to them never absent from them who would have thought of the dramatic history of the happy group at play in the corridor that afternoon the abduction of the children in niece the assumed name the separation of father and children in a few hours his death and their subsequent union with their mother after a period of doubt as to their parentage how many more similar secrets the titanic revealed in the privacy of family life or carried down with her untold we shall never know in the same corridor is a man and his wife with two children and one of them he is generally carrying they are all young and happy he is dressed always in a gray knickerbocker suit with a camera slung over his shoulder i have not seen any of them since that afternoon close beside me so near that i cannot avoid hearing scraps of their conversation are two american ladies both dressed in white young probably friends only one has been to india and is returning by way of england the other is a school teacher in america a graceful girl with a distinguished air heightened by a pair of pants nay engaged in conversation with them is a gentleman whom i subsequently identified from a photograph as a well-known resident of cambridge massachusetts genial polished and with a courtly air towards the two ladies whom he has known but a few hours from time to time as they talk a child acquaintance breaks in on their conversation and insists on their taking notice of a large doll clasped in her arms i have seen none of this group since then in the opposite corner are the young american kinematograph photographer and his young wife evidently french very fond of playing patients which she is doing now while he sits back in his chair watching the game and interposing from time to time with suggestions i did not see them again in the middle of the room are two catholic priests one quietly reading either english or irish and probably the latter the other dark bearded with broad brimmed hat talking earnestly to a friend in german and evidently explaining some verse in the open bible before him near them a young fire engineer on his way to mexico and of the same religion as the rest of the group none of them were saved it may be noted here that the percentage of men saved in the second class is the lowest of any other division only eight percent many other faces recur to thought but it is impossible to describe them all in the space of a short book of all those in the library that sunday afternoon i can remember only two or three persons who found their way to the carpathia looking over this room with his back to the library shelves is the library steward thin stooping sad faced and generally with nothing to do but serve out books but this afternoon he is busier than i have ever seen him serving out baggage declaration forms for passengers to fill in mine is before me as i write form for non-residents in the united states steamship titanic number three one four four d etc i had filled it in that afternoon and slipped it in my pocket book instead of returning it to the steward before me too is a small cardboard square white star line rms titanic 208 this label must be given up when the article is returned the property will be deposited in the purser's safe the company will not be liable to passengers for the loss of money jewels or ornaments by theft or otherwise not so deposited the property deposited in my case was money placed in an envelope sealed with my name written across the flap and handed to the purser the label is my receipt along with other similar envelopes it may still be intact in the safe at the bottom of the sea but in all probability it is not as will be seen presently after dinner mr carter invited all who wished to the saloon and with the assistance at the piano of a gentleman who sat at the purser's table opposite me a young scotch engineer going out to join his brother fruit farming at the foot of the rockies he started some hundred passengers singing hymns they were asked to choose whichever hymn they wished and with so many to choose it was impossible for him to do more than have the greatest favorite song as he announced each hymn it was evident that he was thoroughly versed in their history no hymn was sung but that he gave a short sketch of its author and in some cases a description of the circumstances in which it was composed i think all were impressed with his knowledge of hymns and with his eagerness to tell us all he knew of them it was curious to see how many chose hymns dealing with dangers at sea i noticed the hushed tone with which all sang the hymn for those in peril on the sea the singing must have gone on until after ten o'clock when seeing the stewards standing about waiting to serve biscuits and coffee before going off duty mr carter brought the evening to a close by a few words of thanks to the purser for the use of the saloon a short sketch of the happiness and safety of the voyage hitherto the great confidence all felt on board this great liner with her steadiness and her size and the happy outlook of landing in a few hours in new york at the close of a delightful voyage and all the time he spoke a few miles ahead of us lay the peril on the sea that was to sink this same great liner with many of those on board who listened with gratitude to his simple heartfelt words so much for the frailty of human hopes and for the confidence reposed in material human designs think of the shame of it that a mass of ice of no use to anyone or anything should have the power fatally to injure the beautiful titanic that an insensible block should be able to threaten even in the smallest degree the lives of many good men and women who think and plan and hope and love and not only to threaten but to end their lives it is unbearable are we never to educate ourselves to foresee such dangers and to prevent them before they happen all the evidence of history shows that laws unknown and unsuspected are being discovered day by day as this knowledge accumulates for the use of man it is not certain that the ability to see and destroy beforehand the threat of danger will be one of the privileges the whole world will utilize may that day come soon until it does no precaution too rigorous can be taken no safety appliance however costly must be omitted from a ship's equipment after the meeting had broken up i talked with the carters over a cup of coffee said good night to them and retired to my cabin at about quarter to eleven they were good people and this world is much poorer by their loss it may be a matter of pleasure to many people to know that their friends were perhaps among that gathering of people in the saloon and that at the last sound of the hymns still echoed in their ears as they stood on the deck so quietly and courageously who can tell how much it had to do with the demeanor of some of them and the example this would set to others end of chapter two chapter three of the loss of the ss titanic by larence beasley this liber box recording is in the public domain recorded by alice and hester chapter three the collision and embarkation in life boats i had been fortunate enough to secure a two birth cabin to myself d 56 quite close to the saloon and most convenient in every way for getting about the ship and on a big ship like the titanic it was quite a consideration to be on d deck only three decks below the top or boat deck below d again were cabins e and f decks and to walk from a cabin on f up to the top deck climbing five flights of stairs on the way was certainly a considerable task for those not able to take much exercise the titanic management has been criticized among other things for supplying the boat with lifts it has been said they were an expensive luxury and the room they took up might have been utilized in some way for more life-saving appliances whatever else may have been superfluous lifts certainly were not old ladies for example in cabins on f deck would hardly have got to the top deck during the whole voyage had they not been able to ring for the lift boy perhaps nothing gave one a greater impression of the size of the ship then to take the lift from the top and drop slowly down past the different floors discharging and taking in passengers just as in a large hotel i wonder where the lift boy was that night i would have been glad to find him in our boat or on the carpathia when we took count of the saved he was quite young not more than 16 i think a bright-eyed handsome boy with a love for the sea and the games on deck and the view over the ocean and he did not get any of them one day as he put me out of his lift and saw through the vestuable windows a game of deck quotes in progress he said in a wistful tone my i wish i could go out there sometimes i wished he could too and made a jesting offer to take charge of his lift for an hour while he went out to watch the game but he smilingly shook his head and dropped down an answer to an imperative ring from below i think he was not on duty with his lift after the collision but if he were he would smile at his passengers all the time as he took them up to the boats waiting to leave the sinking ship after undressing and climbing into the top berth i read from about quarter past 11 to the time we struck about quarter to 12 during this time i noticed particularly the increased vibration of the ship and i assumed that we were going at a higher speed than at any other time since we sailed from queen's town now i am aware that this is an important point and bears strongly on the question of responsibility for the effects of the collision but the impression of increased vibration is fixed in my memory so strongly that it seems important to record it two things led me to this conclusion first that as i sat on the sofa undressing with bare feet on the floor the jar of the vibration came up from the engines below very noticeably and second that as i sat up in the berth reading the spring mattress supporting me was vibrating more rapidly than usual this cradle-like motion was always noticeable as one lay in bed but that night there was certainly a marked increase in the motion referring to the plan it will be seen that the vibration must have come almost directly up from above when it is mentioned that the saloon was immediately above the engines as shown in the plan and my cabin next to the saloon from these two data on the assumption that greater vibration is an indication of higher speed and i suppose it must be then i am sure we were going faster that night at the time we struck the iceberg than we had done before i.e. during the hours i was awake and able to take note of anything and then as i read in the quietness of the night broken only by the muffled sound that came to me through the ventilators of stewards talking and moving along the corridors when nearly all the passengers were in their cabins some asleep in bed others undressing and others only just down from the smoking room and still discussing many things there came what seemed to me nothing more than an extra heave of the engines and a more than usually obvious dancing motion of the mattress on which i sat nothing more than that no sound of a crash or of anything else no sense of shock no jar that felt like one heavy body meeting another and presently the same thing repeated with about the same intensity the thought came to me that they must have still further increased the speed and all this time the titanic was being cut open by the iceberg and water was pouring in her side and yet no evidence that would indicate such a disaster had been presented to us it fills me with astonishment now to think of it consider the question of list alone here was this enormous vessel running starboard side onto an iceberg and a passenger sitting quietly in bed reading felt no motion or list to the opposite or port side and this must have been felt had it been more than the usual role of the ship never very much in the calm weather we had all the way again my bunk was fixed to the wall on the starboard side and any list to port would have tended to fling me out onto the floor i am sure i should have noted it had there been any and yet the explanation is simple enough the titanic struck the berg with a force of impact of over a million foot tons her plates were less than an inch thick and they must have been cut through as a knife cuts paper there would be no need to list it would have been better if she had listed and thrown us out on the floor for it would have been an indication that our plates were strong enough to offer at any rate some resistance to the blow and we might all have been safe today and so with no thought of anything serious having happened to the ship i continued my reading and still the murmur from the stewards and from adjoining cabins and no other sound no cry in the night no alarm given no one afraid there was then nothing which could cause fear to the most timid person but in a few moments i felt the engines slow and stop the dancing motion and the vibration ceased suddenly after being part of our very existence for four days and that was the first hint that anything out of the ordinary happened we have all heard a loud ticking clock stop suddenly in a quiet room and then have noticed the clock and the ticking noise of which we seemed until then quite unconscious so in the same way the fact was suddenly brought home to all in the ship that the engines that part of the ship that drove us through the sea had stopped dead but the stopping of the engines gave us no information we had to make our own calculations as to why we had stopped like a flash it came to me we have dropped a propeller blade when this happens the engines always race away until they are controlled and this accounts for the extra heave they gave not a very logical conclusion when considered now for the engines should have continued to heave all the time until we stopped but it was at the time a sufficiently tenable hypothesis to hold acting on it I jumped out of bed slipped on a dressing gown over pajamas put on shoes and went out of my cabin into the hall near the saloon here was a steward leaning against the staircase probably waiting until those in the smoke room above had gone to bed and he could put out the lights I said why have we stopped I don't know sir he replied but I don't suppose it is anything much well I said I am going on deck to see what it is and started towards the stairs he smiled indulgently at me as I passed him and said all right sir but it is mighty cold up there I am sure at the time he thought I was rather foolish to go up with so little reason and I must confess I felt rather absurd for not remaining in the cabin it seemed like making a needless fuss to walk about the ship in a dressing gown but it was my first trip across the sea I had enjoyed every minute of it and was keenly alive to note every new experience and certainly to stop in the middle of the sea with a propeller dropped seemed sufficient reason for going on deck and yet the steward with his fatherly smile and the fact that no one else was about the passages or going upstairs to reconnoiter made me feel guilty in an undefined way of breaking some code of a ship's regime an Englishman's fear of being thought unusual perhaps I climbed three flights of stairs opened the vestibule door leading to the top deck and stepped out into an atmosphere that cut me clad as I was like a knife walking to the starboard side I peered over and saw the sea many feet below calm and black forward the deserted deck stretching away to the first class quarters and the captain's bridge and behind the steerage quarters and the stern bridge nothing more no iceberg on either side or a stern as far as we could see in the darkness there were two or three men on deck and with one the scotch engineer who played hymns in the saloon I compared notes of our experiences he had just begun to undress when the engines stopped and had come up at once so that he was fairly well clad none of us could see anything and all being quiet and still the scotchmen and I went down to the next deck through the windows of the smoking room we saw a game of cards going on with several onlookers and went in to inquire if they knew more than we did they had apparently felt rather more of the heaving motion but so far as I remember none of them had gone out on deck to make any inquiries even when one of them had seen through the window and iceberg go by towering above the decks he had called their attention to it and they all watched it disappear but then had at once resumed the game we asked them the height of the berg and some said 100 feet others 60 feet one of the onlookers a motor engineer traveling to America with a model carburetor he had filled in his declaration form near me in the afternoon and had questioned the library steward how he should declare his patent said well I am accustomed to estimating distances and I put it at between 80 and 90 feet we accepted his estimate and made guesses as to what had happened to the titanic the general impression was that we had just scraped the iceberg with a glancing blow on the starboard side and they had stopped as a wise precaution to examine her thoroughly all over I expect the iceberg has scratched off some of her new paint said one and the captain doesn't like to go on until she is painted up again we laughed at his estimate of the captain's care for the ship poor captain smith he knew by this time only too well what had happened one of the players pointing to his glass of whiskey standing at his elbow and turning to an onlooker said just run along the deck and see if any ice has come aboard I would like some for this amid the general laughter at what we thought was his imagination only too realistic a laugh for when he spoke the forward deck was covered with ice that had tumbled over and seeing that no more information was forthcoming I left the smoking room and went down to my cabin where I sat for some time reading again I am filled with sorrow to think I never saw any of the occupants of that smoking room again nearly all young men full of hope for their prospects in a new world mostly unmarried keen alert with the makings of good citizens presently hearing people walking about the corridors I looked out and saw several standing in the hall talking to a steward most of them ladies in dressing gowns other people were going upstairs and I decided to go on deck again but as it was too cold to do so in a dressing gown I dressed in a Norfolk jacket and trousers and walked up there were now more people looking over the side and walking about questioning each other as to why we had stopped but without obtaining any definite information I stayed on deck some minutes walking about vigorously to keep warm and occasionally looking downwards to see the sea as if something there would indicate a reason for the delay the ship had now resumed her course moving very slowly through the water with a little white line of foam on each side I think we were all glad to see this it seemed better than standing still I soon decided to go down again and as I crossed from the starboard to the port side to go down by the vestibule door I saw an officer climb on the last lifeboat on the port side number 16 and began to throw off the cover but I do not remember that anyone paid any particular attention to him certainly no one thought they were preparing to man the lifeboats and embark from the ship all this time there was no apprehension of any danger in the minds of the passengers and no one was in any condition of panic or hysteria after all it would have been strange if they had been without any definite evidence of danger as I passed to the door to go down I looked forward again and saw to my surprise an undoubted tilt downwards from the stern to the bowels only a slight slope which I don't think anyone had noticed at any rate they had not remarked on it as I went downstairs a confirmation of this tilting forward came in something unusual about the stairs a curious sense of something out of balance and of not being able to put one's foot down in the right place naturally being tilted forward the stairs would slope downwards at an angle and tend to throw one forward I could not see any visible slope of the stairway it was perceptible only by the sense of balance at this time on D-deck were three ladies I think they were all saved and it is a good thing at least to be able to chronicle meeting someone who was saved after so much record of those who were not standing in the passage near the cabin oh why have we stopped they said we did stop I replied but we are now going on again oh no one replied I cannot feel the engines as I usually do or hear them listen we listened and there was no throb audible having noticed that the vibration of the engines is most noticeable lying in a bath where the throb comes straight from the floor through its metal sides too much so ordinarily for one to put one's head back with comfort on the bath I took them along the corridor to a bathroom and made them put their hands on the side of the bath they were much reassured to feel the engines throbbing down below and to know we were making some headway I left them and on the way to my cabin passed some stewards standing unconcernedly against the walls of the saloon one of them the library steward again was leaning over a table writing it is no exaggeration to say that they had neither any knowledge of the accident nor any feeling of alarm that we had stopped and had not yet gone on again full speed their whole attitude expressed perfect confidence in the ship and officers turning into my gangway my cabin being the first in the gangway I saw a man standing at the other end of it fastening his tie anything fresh he said not much I replied we're going ahead slowly and she is down a little at the bowels but I don't think it is anything serious come in and look at this man he laughed he won't get up I looked in and in the top bunk lay a man with his back to me closely wrapped in his bed clothes and only the back of his head visible why won't he get up is he asleep I asked no laughed the man dressing he says but before he could finish the sentence the man above grunted you don't catch me leaving a warm bed to go up on that cold deck at midnight I know better than that we both told him laughingly why he had better get up but he was certain he was just as safe there and all this dressing was quite unnecessary so I left them and went again to my cabin I put on some under clothing sat on the sofa and read for some 10 minutes when I heard through the open door above the noise of people passing up and down and a loud shout from above all passengers on deck with life belts on I placed the two books I was reading in the side pockets of my Norfolk jacket picked up my life belt curiously enough I had taken it down for the first time that night from the wardrobe when I first retired to my cabin and my dressing gown and walked upstairs tying on the life belt as I came out of my cabin I remember seeing the purser's assistant with his foot on the stairs about to climb them whisper to a steward and jerk his head significantly behind them not that I thought anything of it at the time but I have no doubt he was telling him what had happened up in the bowels and was giving him orders to call all passengers going upstairs with other passengers no one ran a step or seemed alarmed we met two ladies coming down one seized me by the arm and said oh I have no life belt will you come down to my cabin and help me find it I returned with them to f-deck the lady who had addressed me holding my arm all the time in a vice light grip much to my amusement and we found a steward in her gangway who took them in and found their life belts coming upstairs again I passed the purser's window on f-deck and noticed the light inside when halfway up to e-deck I heard the heavy metallic clang of the safe door followed by a hasty step retreating along the corridor towards the first class quarters I have little doubt it was the purser who had taken all valuables from his safe and was transferring them to the charge of the first class purser in the hope that they might all be saved in one package that is why I said above that perhaps the envelope containing my money was not in the safe at the bottom of the sea it is probably in a bundle with many others like it waterlogged at the bottom reaching the top deck we found many people assembled there some fully dressed with coats and wraps well prepared for anything that might happen others who had thrown wraps hastily round them when they were called or heard the summons to equip themselves with life belts not in much condition to face the cold of that night fortunately there was no wind to beat the cold air through our clothing even the breeze caused by the ship's motion had died entirely away for the engines had stopped again and the titanic lay peacefully on the surface of the sea motionless quiet not even rocking to the role of the sea indeed as we were to discover presently the sea was as calm as an inland lake save for the gentle swell which could impart no motion to a ship the size of the titanic to stand on the deck many feet above the water lapping idly against her sides and looking much farther off than it really was because of the darkness gave one a sense of wonderful security to feel her so steady and still was like standing on a large rock in the middle of the ocean but there were now more evidences of the coming catastrophe to the observer than had been apparent when on deck last one was the roar and hiss of escaping steam from the boilers issuing out of a large steam pipe reaching high up one of the funnels a harsh deafening boom that made conversation difficult and no doubt increased the apprehension of some people merely because of the volume of noise if one imagines 20 locomotives blowing off steam in a low key it would give some idea of the unpleasant sound that met us as we climbed out on the top deck but after all it was the kind of phenomena we ought to expect engines blow off steam when standing in a station and why should not a ship's boilers do the same when the ship is not moving I never heard anyone connect this noise with the danger of boiler explosion in the event of the ship sinking with her boilers under a high pressure of steam which was no doubt the true explanation of this precaution but this is perhaps speculation some people may have known it quite well for from the time we came on deck until boat 13 got away I heard very little conversation of any kind among the passengers it is not the slightest exaggeration to say that no signs of alarm were exhibited by anyone there was no indication of panic or hysteria no cries of fear and no running to and fro to discover what was the matter why we had been summoned on deck with life belts and what was to be done with us now we were there we stood there quietly looking on at the work of the crew as they manned the lifeboats and no one ventured to interfere with them or offered to help them it was plain we should be of no use and the crowd of men and women stood quietly on the deck or paced slowly up and down waiting for orders from the officers now before we consider any further the events that followed the state of mind of passengers at this juncture and the motives which led each one to act as he or she did in the circumstances it is important to keep in thought the amount of information at our disposal men and women act according to judgment based on knowledge of the conditions around them and the best way to understand some apparently inconceivable things that happened is for anyone to imagine himself or herself standing on deck that night it seems a mystery to some people that women refused to leave the ship that some persons retired to their cabins and so on but it is a matter of judgment after all so that if the reader will come and stand with the crowd on deck he must first rid himself entirely of the knowledge that the Titanic has sunk an important necessity for he cannot see conditions as they existed there through the mental haze arising from knowledge of the greatest maritime tragedy the world has known he must get rid of any foreign knowledge of disaster to appreciate why people acted as they did secondly, he had better get rid of any picture in thought painted either by his own imagination or by some artist whether pictorial or verbal from information supplied some are most inaccurate these mostly word pictures and where they air they air on the highly dramatic side they need not have done so the whole conditions were dramatic enough in all their bare simplicity without the addition of any high coloring having made these mental erasures he will find himself as one of the crowd faced with the following conditions a perfectly still atmosphere a brilliantly beautiful starlight night but no moon and so with little light that was of any use a ship that had come quietly to rest without any indication of disaster no iceberg visible no hole in the ship's side through which water was pouring in nothing broken or out of place no sound of alarm no panic no movement of anyone except at a walking pace the absence of any knowledge of the nature of the accident of the extent of damage of the danger of the ship sinking in a few hours of the numbers of boats rafts and other life-saving appliances available their capacity what other ships were near or coming to help in fact an almost complete absence of any positive knowledge on any point I think this was the result of deliberate judgment on the part of the officers and perhaps it was the best thing that could be done in particular he must remember that the ship was a sixth of a mile long with passengers on three decks open to the sea and port and starboard sides to each deck he will then get some idea of the difficulty presented to the officers of keeping control over such a large area and the impossibility of anyone knowing what was happening except in his own immediate vicinity perhaps the whole thing can be summed up best by saying that after we had embarked in the life boats and rode away from the titanic it would not have surprised us to hear that all passengers would be saved the cries of drowning people after the titanic gave the final plunge were a thunderbolt to us I am aware that the experiences of many of those saved differed in some respects from above some had knowledge of certain things some were experienced travelers and sailors and therefore deduced more rapidly what was likely to happen but I think the above gives a fairly accurate representation of the state of mind of most of those on deck that night all this time people were pouring up from the stairs and adding to the crowd I remember at that moment thinking it would be well to return to my cabin and rescue some money and warmer clothing if we were to embark in boats but looking through the vestuable windows and seeing people still coming upstairs I decided it would only cause confusion passing them on the stairs so remained on deck I was now on the starboard side of the top boat deck the time about 1220 we watched the crew at work on the life boats numbers 9, 11, 13, 15 some inside arranging the oars some coiling ropes on the deck the ropes which ran through the pulleys to lower to the sea others with cranks fitted to the rocking arms of the davits as we watched the cranks were turned the davits swung outwards until the boats hung clear of the edge of the deck just then an officer came along from the first class deck and shouted above the noise of the escaping steam all women and children get down to deck below and all men stand back from the boats he had apparently been off duty when the ship struck and was lightly dressed with a white muffler twisted hastily around his neck the men fell back and the women retired below to get into the boats from the next deck two women refused at first to leave their husbands but partly by persuasion and partly by force they were separated from them and sent down to the next deck I think that by this time the work on the life boats and the separation of men and women impressed on us slowly the presence of imminent danger but it made no difference in the attitude of the crowd they were just as prepared to obey orders and to do what came next as when they first came on deck I do not mean that they actually reasoned it out they were the average Teutonic crowd with an inborn respect for law and order and for traditions bequeathed to them by generations of ancestors the reasons that made them act as they did were impersonal instinctive hereditary but if there were anyone who had not by now realized that the ship was in danger all doubt on this point was to be set at rest in a dramatic manner suddenly a rush of light from the forward deck a hissing roar that made us all turn from watching the boats and a rocket leaped upwards to where the stars blinked and twinkled above us up it went higher and higher with a sea of faces upturned to watch it and then an explosion that seemed to split the silent night in two and a shower of stars sank slowly down and went out one by one and with a gasping sigh one word escaped the lips of the crowd rockets anybody knows what rockets at sea mean and presently another and then a third it is no use denying the dramatic intensity of the scene separate it if you can from all the terrible events that followed and picture the calmness of the night the sudden light on the decks crowded with people in different stages of dress and undress the background of huge funnels and tapering masks revealed by the soaring rocket whose flash illumined at the same time the faces and minds of the obedient crowd the one with mere physical light the other with a sudden revelation of what its message was everyone knew without being told that we were calling for help from anyone who was near enough to see the crew were now in the boats the sailors standing by the pulley ropes let them slip through the cleats and jerks and down the boats went till level with bee deck women and children climbed over the rail into the boats and filled them when full they were lowered one by one beginning with number nine the first on the second class deck and working backwards towards 15 all this we could see by peering over the edge of the boat deck which was now quite open to the sea the four boats which formed a natural barrier being lowered from the deck and leaving it exposed about this time while walking the deck I saw two ladies come over from the port side and walk towards the rail separating the second class from the first class deck there stood an officer barring the way may we pass to the boats they said no madame he replied politely your boats are down on your own deck pointing to where they swung below the ladies turned and went towards the stairway and no doubt were able to enter one of the boats they had ample time I mentioned this to show that there was at any rate some arrangement whether official or not for separating the classes and embarking boats how far it was carried out I do not know but if the second class ladies were not expected to enter a boat from the first class deck while steerage passengers were allowed to access the second class deck it would seem to press rather hardly on the second class men and this is rather supported by the low percentage saved almost immediately after this incident a report went round among men on the top deck the starboard side that men were to be taken off on the port side how it originated I am quite unable to say but can only suppose that as the port boats numbers 10 to 16 were not lowered from the top deck quite so soon as the starboard boats they could still be seen on deck it might be assumed that women were being taken off on one side and men on the other but in whatever way the report started it was acted on at once by almost all the men who crowded across to the port side and watched the preparation for lowering the boats leaving the starboard side almost deserted two or three men remained however not for any reason that we were consciously aware of I can personally think of no decision arising from reason thought that induced me to remain rather than to cross over but while there was no process of conscious reason at work I am convinced that what was my salvation was a recognition of the necessity of being quiet and waiting in patience for some opportunity of safety to present itself soon after the men had left the starboard side I saw a bandsman the cellist come round the vestibule corner from the staircase entrance and run down the now deserted starboard deck his cello trailing behind him the spike dragging along the floor this must have been about 12 40 a.m I suppose the band must have begun to play soon after this and gone on until after 2 a.m many brave things were done that night but none more brave than by those few men playing minute after minute as the ship settled quietly lower and lower in the sea and the sea rose higher and higher to where they stood the music they played serving alike as their immortal requiem and their right to be recorded on the rolls of undying fame looking forward and downward we could see several of the boats now in the water moving slowly one by one from the side without confusion or noise and stealing away in the darkness which swallowed them in turn as the crew bent to the oars an officer I think first officer Murdoch came striding along the deck clad in a long coat from his manner and face evidently in great agitation but determined and resolute he looked over the side and shouted to the boats being lowered lower away and when a float row around to the gangway and wait for orders aye aye sir was the reply and the officer passed by and went across the ship to the port side almost immediately after this I heard a cry from below of any more ladies and looking over the edge of the deck saw boat 13 swinging level with the rail of b-deck with the crew some stokers a few men passengers and the rest ladies the latter being about half the total number the boat was almost full and just about to be lowered the call for ladies was repeated twice again but apparently there were none to be found just then one of the crew looked up and saw me looking over any ladies on your deck he said no I replied then you had better jump I sat on the edge of the deck with my feet over through the dressing gown which I had carried on my arm all of the time into the boat dropped and fell in the boat near the stern as I picked myself up I heard a shout wait a moment here are two more ladies and they were pushed hurriedly over the side and tumbled into the boat one into the middle and one next to me in the stern they told me afterwards that they had been assembled on a lower deck with other ladies and had come up to b-deck not by the usual stairway inside but by one of the vertically upright iron ladders that connect each deck with the one below it meant for the use of sailors passing about the ship other ladies had been in front of them and got up quickly but these two were delayed a long time by the fact that one of them the one that was helped first over the side into boat 13 near the middle was not at all active it seemed almost impossible for her to climb up a vertical ladder we saw her trying to climb the swinging rope ladder up to the Carpathias side a few hours later and she had the same difficulty as they tumbled in the crew shouted lower away but before the order was obeyed a man with his wife and a baby came quickly to the side the baby was handed to the lady in the stern the mother got in near the middle and the father at the last moment dropped in as the boat began its journey down to the sea many feet below end of chapter 3


Welcome! Before doing this meditation with me, please create breathing space where you can be quiet and uninterrupted and pose any tasks and activities to focus on your own breathing and images being suggested nor that you are completely in control of experience and however you experience this meditation is just perfect this meditation is designed for you to treat yourself and all others with the kindness and respect and remember that we all are breathed, loved and accepted as well when you are ready find a nice and comfortable position either sitting or running down begin to take in a nice deep breath hold it and release it out slowly another deep breath in and as you release it allow yourself to get comfortable and relaxed with your eyes closed focus on your own breathing breathing in the warm and calming energy breathing out and releasing any tension and any stress in your whole body relaxing and letting go a big deep breath in and as you release it allow yourself to relax and let go even more another deep breath in and as you release it begin to sink deeper and deeper down so calm so peaceful relaxed as much as you choose continue to stay focused on your own breathing the sound of my voice and the music and remain completely comfortable and relaxed imagine or pretend that you are someplace out in nature where you feel safe and peaceful it's a warm morning day and the temperatures just stop you right you feel the warm and loving morning right and fresh air take in the fresh air and become aware of the sights the sounds and the sense all around you in this place you feel more at peace and more at ease imagine now that you find a nice and comfortable spot and set to reset down in a relaxed position you feel the support of the earth beneath you breathing the fresh air and breathe out notice the morning sound just in front of you it gives off a lovely and gentle light it's so amazing you are intuitively drawn to the morning light and begin to gaze upon it allow yourself to be fully based in the morning sound it's all around you and completely embraces you feel the warmth of the light the warm healing energy the vibration of forgiveness loving kindness and acceptance in your whole body it brings a feeling of relief freedom and peace to every cell of your being you may see this warm healing energy as particles of the morning light in the most beautiful colors you can imagine imagine now as you breathe in the morning light it seeps into your body as you breathe in and out begin to relax all the muscles in your head your shoulders and your arms relax even more and sink deeper and deeper down now it softens all the muscles in your chest your stomach your back and all the way down to your torso you feel even more relaxed and you are able to breathe deeper now now the light relaxes all the muscles in your lower body your legs and all the way down to your toes now it sinks even deeper into your body and softens and relaxes every muscle every nerve every cell and every organ you want that to happen allow that to happen now your whole body is fully and completely relaxed for your greatest benefit continue to breathe in and out allow the morning light to sink deeper and deeper inside of you and illuminate your deepest inside notice a spark of light deep inside in your heart center the center where being sense and imagine your own spark of light there deeper inside of you the morning light resonates with your own spark of light you feel a sense of forgiveness loving kindness and acceptance your true essence notice how warm and peaceful that feels focus on your own spark of light it now resonates beyond the morning sun and begins to connect to the brightness the divine light nor the your own light is a consciousness of the divine light we all are part of the brightness our own light has its own frequency or vibration slightly different from all others just as we all have different names personalities needs ideas and attitudes we can be identified through our own vibrations we all are a being of the divine light we all are blessed loved and accepted as well continue to breathe in and out keep focus on your own spark of light deeper inside of you fully connecting with the brightness it feels warm and peaceful know that you are fully and completely blessed loved and accepted in any way as you continue to focus on your own light imagine it becoming brighter and growing bigger radiating through every cell of your body and expanding beyond your body in every direction like the brightness it aligns every cell of your being with the frequency or vibration of your true essence full of forgiveness loving kindness and acceptance feeling warm and peaceful feeling great feeling writer and clear in your mind your heart and your body show forgiveness loving kindness and acceptance for yourself your personality your needs ideas and attitudes in any manner because we all are blessed loved and accepted as well in this world you can treat all others with kindness and respect as you would like to be treated and as we are a being of the brightness the divine light know that we all are connected and we embrace each other with the warm healing energy the vibration of our true essence forgiveness loving kindness and acceptance remember that the morning light will always remind you of this wonderful experience and your own spark of light reminding you that we all are blessed loved and accepted as well as we all are a being of the divine light we are now going to return from this experience you will bring with you the wonderful experience and the energy and the vibration of your true essence full of forgiveness loving kindness and acceptance that feels warm and peaceful take in a few deep breaths and feel yourself come back into full awareness in this time and this space full sense returning feeling returning to all your limbs feeling refreshed and all energy in complete balance becoming more aware and more present feeling warm and peaceful remember that we all are a being of the divine light and we all are blessed loved and accepted as well as we are when you are ready open your eyes