So, in keeping with this theme of the dance, we already saw, when we were with our wives in the same room together, that the dance that we're a part of really is a two-step. There's something we're supposed to do in loving our wife like Christ loves the church, and then there's something she is supposed to do, which is to, you know, respect us, her husband, not us, like we're all your wife's husband, you know what I mean? Those of us that are husbands, to respect those of us that are husbands, to do those things. And looking at some of the questions that we're going to address in our final session together, I know for some of you on your heart is, well, what if she doesn't do that? What if she doesn't support me? What if she doesn't come alongside me? And we'll address that when we come to the next session. But there also was a question that was given, and I didn't know that when I planned today's study, but one of the questions was from a wife sitting here, and so married to one of you, and the question was, what if my husband refuses to lead? And so what I want to talk about long before I saw that question is leading this dance, because you do understand in a dance, somebody's got to lead. If you're both leading or nobody's leading, it's as awkward as I described with me just trying to dance by myself. Somebody has got to lead. Somebody has got to take the initiative. Someone has got to go forth.  That is not your friend's idea or your wife's idea. And we can kind of look at them and say, why are you preaching at me?  And I want to look just for a few minutes. I won't be long, but I want us to look at Isaac. And I want to see what made him such a great leader. And there are things that I think you and I can easily implement into our own marriages. And the first thing I want us to see is as this chapter opens up, it kind of gives us this genealogy. Abraham and Sarah have a son by the name of Isaac. And then we get to learn Isaac's story. Isaac's going to get married to Rebecca and they're going to have Esau and Jacob, who we learned about this morning when he was married to a couple of women and all the problems that happened in that marriage. But this is the before story with his dad, Isaac. And before Jacob or Esau were ever born, we read of a problem there in the text. And the problem is that Rebecca is barren. She can't have children. And the first thing I see, the first thing I want you to notice, the first thing I want us to consider about Isaac being a leader, something we can implement in our lives, we must implement into our lives is Isaac took his family in a different, distinct direction than what he learned from his parents. And what do I mean by that? Well, most of you know your Bible. So you know that Rebecca being barren, not able to have children, she's not the first one in the biblical story to deal with this, is she? Isaac's mom before she had him, Sarah, was in the same predicament. Abraham and Sarah, his parents could not have children. But do you remember how Abraham and Sarah dealt with that problem? Most of you do, obviously. I think honestly, when you when you read the story and just read it like it's actually happening, because it was we read one chapter after another. We realize there's years between each of these stories. For years, God has been telling, first of all, just Abraham. Later, he'll tell Sarah a year before she becomes a mother. But up until that point, there is no record in the Bible of God ever talking to Sarah about them having children. But he talked to Abraham. He'd say, Abraham, you are going to be the father of many nations. You are going to have so many kids. They'll be innumerable like the stars in the heaven or the sands on the sea. And no doubt he would like we would do if you if you were childless. He goes home to his wife and he says, babe, I just got the best news. I know I'm 75 and you're 60. But but the reality is we're going to have kids someday. And that would be a tough conversation if you're 75 and 60. But it continued on, right? Until well into the 80s and the 90s. God kept coming back every five, 10 years or so and telling Abraham, I haven't changed my mind. You are going to be the father of many nations. And he would go home and tell his wife, we're going to have a baby someday. And I personally just wonder if Sarah got just tired of hearing that over and over again. Tired of thinking there was something lacking in her, which which physically there was. But but it wasn't her fault. She didn't make this decision.  And so finally maybe maybe that was the the the mindset behind it all. But we know what she did. She said, why don't you just take Hagar, my maid servant. Why do you have a child with her and then we'll raise that child in the place so we can finally have a kid in Abraham? Here's that and says, well, that's what you want, babe. That is what I'm going to do. I'm a family man. I'm concerned with the wealth of our family. So if that's if that's what you're suggesting, beautiful, that is what we're going to do. And it wasn't just a suggestion for Sarah. What you and I also need to key into is it was the way the culture back then operated. Obviously, in today's world, if you and your wife can't have children, you know, the option is adoption, you know, even with medical science and intro fertilization, like all the things that we have available to us today. Obviously, they didn't have back then and none of us in our marriages. If you do it, you probably want to book a counseling session. But but none of your marriages, your wife is like, let's try a different girl and see if you can have a child with her. There is no right thinking Christian woman that suggests that to you. I mean, amen. We're all in the same page. But in that culture, that was the norm on those actual cuneiform tablets. So I love Pastor Sandy's top 10 reasons to not be married to two wives. That was great. But on actual cuneiform tablets, the Nizoo tablets, they found these marriage agreements between these couples who were married in ancient Babylon. And it was basically this, we're going to have children together. If you can't provide a child, it is your obligation wife to find me a second wife to be able to have children with that was like in their marriage agreements in that culture. So Isaac back to our story here in Genesis 25, not only has the example of his parents who decided to go outside of their marriage covenant and find another girl to have a baby with to deal with his wife's infertility. You also had a culture that said, this is exactly the way that you are supposed to do it. This is what Isaac is facing. But Isaac makes the decision to be a leader, to lead his family like God wants all of us in the room to lead our families. And he decides to go a different direction than his parents. A different direction from the culture. We read it in the text. I don't know if you noticed it, but when he realized it's not just we're not together enough, when he realized his wife is barren, what did Isaac do? Isaac prayed. Isaac prayed. It's amazing that we never read that. I mean, Abraham prayed about a lot of stuff, but we never read him putting hands on his wife, Sarah and say, God, would you open up her womb? God, would you intervene in this? Would you do something amazing as great as Abraham was as a father of the faithful that he was? We never read him doing this. Isaac didn't have this example in his father. He chose to take his family in a different direction. And then that's something as a leader all of us can implement. Because I think all of us, because we live in the real world, a lot of us had poor examples growing up.  Like she needs to get over her unhappiness. Like that's a lot of our fathers and our grandfather's mentality. And I don't know your story, but let me share with you mine. So my dad, I'm not a pastor's kid. My dad doesn't pastor a church somewhere. My dad was a drug addict and a drug dealer. He spent lots of my young life in and out of prison for drug possession and drug dealing. Then somehow he moved to a different state and the state didn't check with California records. And he became a drug counselor for kids. So he would have the kids come into his office, tell him they shouldn't be on drugs, put all of the drugs in his drawer. And then he would take all of their drugs until he got fired from that and went back into prison. When my parents divorced, when I was five, I still remember the night my dad left. And I remember him just drunk out of his mind, coming into my room, grabbing me by the shirt. And he said to me, you're the reason I'm leaving this family. I was five years old.  There's a lot of reasons I should make some psychologists lots of money. My mother, God bless her, because she at least stayed with us and took care of us, but on the moral spectrum, wasn't much better. We lived with so many men in my young adult life. I had many guys coming in and out of my life as my new stepdaddies, though they were never really married and those kind of situations. And even when she got saved, remember, you know, she got saved. We were going to Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa at the time and she saw Pastor Chuck did this movie against Halloween, why Halloween was bad. And my mom is a brand new baby Christian, was so like impressed by that. She sat my sister and I down and she says, we are no longer going trick or treating. We are not going to honor the Satanic holiday. And she said, instead, though, what we're going to do is we're going to rent Friday the 13th, one through five, and we're going to have a marathon movie night at the house. And so instead of trick or treating, my Christian mom exposed me to killing and nudity and all that stuff that night as a good thing that God wanted her to do. That was literally my upbringing. And then as I became a teenager, I started writing to my dad because I wanted a relationship with him. The last time I saw him was when I was 12 years old. And so when I became a teenager, I started writing and reaching out to him and saying, hey, you know, I really want, I really want a relationship with you. I know you're gone. And I remember even as a teenager thinking, I hope you can forgive me for wherever. Why are you left us because of me? Because that's what I remember. My dad shaking me saying, you're the reason we're leaving. I'm leaving and just trying to apologize. And I'd always I'd always would give the letter to my mom and say, can you just send it? I don't even know where my dad lives. Can you send it where you think he lives and and and then always getting them back just unopened and her telling me your dad doesn't want a relationship with you. I turned 45 years ago and on my 40th birthday, there was a letter at the church I passed her out in India. It was a letter from my father and the letter said, your dad, your granddad died of prostate cancer. I currently have prostate cancer. I know you just turned 40. You better get checked so you don't die too. And then you left his phone number at the bottom of the letter. I hadn't heard from him in 28 years. And I opened up that letter and picked up the phone and he answered. And I said, hey dad, for the first time in 28 years. At the time I was stage four lymphoma. So I was like, well, I got good news and bad news. Good news is they've checked me for all cancers. I do not have prostate cancer. Bad news is I'm dying of lymphoma. Please pray for me, hopefully I'll get better. But the reality was is we just started talking. And when I went out to see him, I found out that he never got any of those letters. That he had decided to turn his life around, wanted to be in my life when I was 16, 17 years old. And my mom, and again, her motives, she's done the best job she can with the tools she was given. But wanted to protect me from him and so kept me from him.  That's where I come from. I got saved because my mom would drop me off at Calvary Costa Mesa because she heard they had free babysitting and she needed a night away from me and my sister. And she would do that multiple times a week and she trusted because she was never a part of it but she was there when the Jesus movement was happening and she heard that was a safe place for people love Jesus so she dropped her kids off there. So when I got tired of children's ministry, I wandered in the back of the sanctuary and heard this old guy, this old bald guy preaching the gospel. And it happened so frequently, I would also go on Monday nights when Greg Laurie back then was preaching on Monday nights. And Greg Laurie, I remember to this day, he's like, you're either for God or you're against God. And I'm like a 14 year old kid and I'm like, I don't wanna be against God. That sounds like a bad thing to be. So if you don't wanna be against God, you come forward. That's literally how my relationship with God started. I don't wanna be on his bad side. And I came forward and gave my life to the Lord and that is where it started. And from that moment forward, I go home and I'm like, Mom, I know you say we're Christians. I don't think we are. Like witness to my mom and then my mom got saved and my grandparents got saved. And my whole family got saved. God was so gracious to take me from this totally backwards family and say, I'm gonna have you have Calvary Costa Mesa do your babysitting and I'm gonna have the speaker at your babysitter be Pastor Chuck and Greg Laurie and all these different guys because God took my life in a different direction but you understand there had to be a decision on my part that I'm not gonna emulate what I saw emulated for me in my life. My sister who I love with all my heart but she's turned her back on the Lord and gone the same way as her father before her and her mother for that season of her life. All of us have a decision. You have family, you have upbringing, you have things that you have been given but you have to make a decision. I am not a follower, I am a leader. I wanna take my family in a completely different direction and then it's possible. And again, you might say, well, again I wasn't raised by people who knew how to pray. I wasn't raised by people who knew these things and I hear you friends, neither was I, neither was I and I feel like to use a sports illustration that most of us can understand. I feel like most of the time I've been starting off in my own end zone meaning I can sense in my own body. I told you in the groups about the Diet Coke thing. Like the reason my wife forbids me to drink Diet Coke is like some of you that occasionally have a Diet Coke that wasn't my relationship with Diet Coke. It was 80 to 100 ounces a day of Diet Coke for 20 years. I just, I was never into alcohol or drugs because I didn't wanna be like my dad but I was addicted to caffeine and Diet Coke. I would have so much of it. I sensed that in my body. I sensed the draw to things I remember watching with my mom when I was a little kid just egging on my heart even as a full grown adult. But we have to make a decision. That's not the direction I'm going. You might feel like you're deep in your end zone but you know what? Football's about to start so here's where I'm at with my illustrations today. You can make a decision today to take that ball and even though you're starting deep in your end zone you can advance it to midfield. You can say I'm gonna make the choices to advance this ball to midfield. Yes, it might be differently than David Rosales raises as kids. It might be different than the marriage of Pastor Sandy Adams but for me I can advance the ball to midfield. I can teach my kids to walk with Jesus. And those kids, the next generation they can take it into the red zone. They can advance the ball to take it into the red zone and then our grandkids can change the world. This is the reality of what can happen. The nation of Israel was formed in three generations Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and though each of them had setbacks and each of them weren't perfect by any stretch of the means each of them were committed to advance that ball and they go from Abraham who came from an idol worshiping nation. Literally there's records of his dad making idols that the people of Ur would be able to worship so that they made their money from idol formation. That's where Abraham was from and in three generations you have Jacob with 12 sons who become the 12 tribes of Israel and the people of God are born. But each of those men, each of those men though they weren't perfect though they made their own mistakes they were committed to move the ball forward from where the generation before them had been. They were committed to say I'm gonna teach the next generation more than I was taught. I'm gonna teach them how to love their God like I was never taught and to watch them have success.  Some of you, my son has been leading worship here on occasion especially at you things and I get so blessed by that to see my 19 year old boy and I think back to the crazy things going on in here in my heart when I was 19 and here he is like dedicated to lead people in worship and I think God it's working it's working as much as the enemy of us to beat me up about the weird things that still swim around in my heart and I'll just be as transparent as possible with you guys because I don't want you to think I have figured it out and you haven't they're weird sinful things that are constantly swimming around in here. I am so grateful that God saved me that God has called me and that I'm able to take my children and just teach them more than I was ever taught and my heart and my hope is that someday, someday my grandkids if God tarries that long that my kids can build on what I taught them and the third generation can change the world but none of that happens if we decide to stay in our own zone.  A leader, how do we lead this dance? We decide to not be like the generations that went before us to build and do something totally different. Isaac does, his father and the culture all around him says you should go ahead and just find a new girl to have a wife with, to have kids with he says no, instead I am gonna pray for my wife and a leader, leaders in this room where the whole culture says you're being ignored by your wife, sex is anything and everything but what Pastor Sandy described in there so what does the culture tell you? It tells you to turn to pornography it tells you to you need to pour into your work pour into your kids, forget about this marriage that is what the culture says and the culture would not bat an eye if that's the direction you go but we don't wanna be what the culture wants us to be we wanna be godly men we wanna lead our families and so we've gotta take them in a different direction Isaac prays and God listens to the voice of his wife he listens to his voice and he opens up his wife's womb and she gets pregnant, now watch this so then she's having a rough pregnancy cause she doesn't know she's got two twin boys inside there and God tells her eventually you got two nations in your womb that doesn't look like a problem but what God meant was you got these two boys who will become two nations who will not get along with each other but that started as most of you know in the womb they were fighting in the womb so she says Lord what's going on but I want you to see this when Rebecca's having a problem with her pregnancy what does Rebecca do? She prays now again Rebecca is from the same family that Abraham and Sarah were from meaning she grew up pagan too she grew up with no heart for God no heart to see him lifted up in her family no knowledge to pray over things what I want you to see men is Isaac is rubbing off on Rebecca he prays to deal with the problem and then she's got a problem in her womb and she prays too and again another great reason and another reason we have to be leaders is God is counting on you not only to take your family a different direction but he's counting on you to model things for your wife that can help her grow in her relationship with the Lord I realize most of us in the room we don't want to get into a spirituality contest with our wife most of us don't most of us are like if God's in heaven like let's see I get to let one in is it gonna be Jason or is it gonna be Christie I know it won't be and I pray it won't be down to that because that would be an easy choice for the Lord it's like get out of here who are you kidding and he would bring Christie right on in I don't wanna get into a spirituality contest with my wife and most of you can agree I know there's a few of you there's a few of you who your marriage is tough because your wife isn't wanting to serve Jesus she isn't wanting to go for it she isn't wanting to do things spiritually in your marriage I know that's existing in this room but for the vast majority I know we know that man our wives man they got it figured out it's we they're lagging behind but that is still no excuse for you and I to model biblical things for our wives you know I kinda get a sad thrill every time a husband comes into my counseling office and complains about his wife oh she's this wife oh she doesn't love me oh she doesn't well there's no there's no nothing a relationship and I just let go on and on and on for a little while just let it get it out get it all out get it all out and I say wow really really I turn them in the Bible to 1 Corinthians 11 I turn them there and in 1 Corinthians 11 7 it says that woman is the glory of man I said do you know what says that do you know what says that the woman is the glory of man and they usually respond I didn't know that yeah add that to the list she isn't very glorious she is not glorifying me and I go oh oh oh well the Greek another literal translation of that is woman is a reflection of man she's reflecting you bro then they usually run out mad but it cuts down on my counseling it's really good it's really good I'm like alright but there's a truth to it just like I shared with when we were all combined that our wives play a huge role in helping us become who we are the opposite's also true you play a huge role on who your wife becomes and if you look at your wife and if I just I don't wanna show a hand it's just a moment between you and the Lord if you look at your wife and there's a deep dissatisfaction with who she is spiritually the deep dissatisfaction of how she handles things how she does things because you are leaders men I'm challenging you to turn that mirror around and saying God what is it about me that she's reflecting that I don't like how can I grow how can I mature how can I do what I need to do to reflect something better for her to reflect back and we'll get in the question time what do we do if she never ever responds we'll get to that but the reality is this needs to be our goal because the same verse that says woman is the glory of man or the reflection of man it also says that you and I we're reflecting something too we're reflecting God but here's the difference in that whereas we're always around our wife so she's naturally gonna pick up some things about us that we're reflecting you and I have to make a choice to reflect the Lord in our lives we have to make a choice to be in the presence of God you know it's gonna go on to say about Jacob and Esau it describes him in the verses we just read there they were physically super different right I mean Esau was covered in red hair he looked like baby Elmo when he was born and just you know and Jacob was smooth skin and Esau loved to be hunting in the field that's why his daddy loved him and of course Jacob loved to be in the tent kind of reading books and cooking meals and that's why his mama loved him and they were just two different boys but it was more than physicality and it was more than just what they love to do with their free time in the book of Hebrews in chapter 12 of the book of Hebrews it describes Esau and it says we don't wanna be like him and it says there in Hebrews 11 sorry 1214 it says that he was a profane man that the main difference between Jacob and Esau they were both struggle with sin they both had a lot of issues but Esau was profane and that Greek word translated in English as profane it literally means outside the sanctuary Esau was outside of the sanctuary in context it means one that never took time to build a sanctuary in his heart the main difference between Jacob and Esau wasn't how they looked that was different wasn't what they like to do with free time is that Jacob with all of his sin and all of his issues and all of his problems eventually in his life took time to build an altar in his heart a place from which God could communicate to him he could pour out his heart and become a different guy and Esau never did it was the same thing with David I mean we all love King David right the greatest king Israel ever had the king to which all kings in Israel history are ever forever measured against David a man God says a man after my own heart but then you become a Bible student right and you actually read the Bible and you're like how can you even say that because David has some issues right I mean David was a compulsive liar he is a compulsive liar as you read through the story secondly he's got a little bit of a woman problem wouldn't you say just a little bit I mean we all know about Bathsheba we got that but before Bathsheba he's got nine wives and a stable of concubines which are basically women that you financially take care of and provide sexual services for you let's be honest about what they are I look at that and go huh and then yeah there was the Bathsheba thing and on top of that he murders Uriah he actually puts them in the front of the battle and then tells Joab to pull the troops back so Uriah will die how can that guy be a man after God's own heart well I look at it and I learn two things about David I see that David with all of his sin and all of his struggles and all of his shortcomings David number one was never an idolater unlike what his son struggled with he was never an idolater there was one true God that he would serve he didn't always do what's right he didn't always fall in what he wanted to but he always knew there was one God he was not an idolater and secondly he was clearly a man who allowed God to build an altar in his heart we read his song book the book of songs is David pouring out his heart and oftentimes when you know the story of especially you know the stories in Second Samuel and you read them next to David's Psalms you realize that a lot of the Psalms he wrote he's just crying out to God saying God this is not who I am I am not really a man of purity I'm not really a man of character but that's who I want to be he's crying out to God from the altar that's been built in his heart God I need you to change me and make me into the man that you and the nation of Israel deserves and this gives me great hope for a loser like me what's really important is that I'm working on an altar built right here I'm not perfect and I know you aren't either I struggle with things in my mind and my heart there's an altar right here where I can go to the Lord and I can say God that needs to die in my heart my wife and my kids and what you've entrusted me with ministry is too important for that to ever go past weird thoughts that come into my mind God I need you to kill that kind of stuff in my life I need you to make me into the man of God you need me to be and that altar gets built then as we take the time look I know we all pray you know the food comes out you get your double doubles oh yeah and you're like thank you Jesus bless this food hope the calories do not kill me help it relate to me like I did when I was 20 eating double doubles come on Lord we pray about building an altar of prayer we have a moment where you can come with the Lord sometime daily you come to Him and just pour out your heart our wives are desperately wanting us to be leaders how is it gonna happen we are meant to decide I want an altar of prayer in my life we're so quick when work goes sideways and our marriage goes sideways we're so quick to call friends and family and whine and complain listen you gotta talk to somebody I get that we spend so much time talking to people who cannot change the situation you have a relationship with the living God who said let there be light and there was who said stop to the oceans here and they did somebody who created something out of nothing the problems at work the problems in your marriage are not too big for God they're too big for you they're not too big for God so cry out God have this altar of prayer have this altar to the word of God I know you all study the Bible most of you go to Cabaret Chapel Gino Valley you're a well taught you're sitting listening to a Bible study right now I pray your relationship with God's word is not just on Sunday mornings maybe Wednesday nights occasionally maybe a conference every once in a while the reason it's so important listen I'm not trying to this is how you make God love you this is how to get more saved look at that you are saved by the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross and your simple belief in it and God loves you more than you can possibly understand no matter what you do this isn't about making God love you this isn't making you more saved this is the fact that I don't wanna be profane and I know you don't wanna be either I don't wanna be outside the sanctuary I want an altar built in my heart and so I need a relationship with God's word because the world is constantly preaching a sermon amen it is constantly preaching a sermon and I need the truth to wash over all of that to cleanse my mind and get my heart back on track with God I need an altar of prayer I need an altar to the word of God I need an altar of worship we all worship again we show up at church and they do it every time there's always a few songs clap when they're good that's all I'm talking about I'm talking about having a time to be honest I mean the worship team back where I get to pastor they did a phenomenal job but honestly sometimes sanctuary worship it sometimes is great but it's not always the best for me for me it's because I'm always thinking about that point didn't work well in the first service I gotta change it for second service and then hopefully by third service I'll get it done like this is what's going on in my mind when everybody else around me is like I love you Jesus I'm like squirrel like I'm so distracted so it's not often sanctuary worship that's the best but I'm telling you when some song comes on when I'm driving somewhere it's right where I need to hit there's times I just have to pull over the car people are looking at me and I'm like what is he on? Jesus and it's better than whatever you're on telling you that I need an altar of worship an altar of prayer an altar of the word of God I want to be profane then I want to end with this I don't know where you are at today but I know with all my heart God can make you a totally different person a totally different person and I know that because we were talking about in the joint study that I got to do you know when Paul before he tells husbands how to be and he says you be filled with the spirit you remember how life changing the spirit has been in people's lives before I mean we always lift up these apostles like they were these great guys and they were eventually but the night Jesus was betrayed and the night before he was crucified you remember what Peter was doing right? he was denying him three times a little girl hey, are you a disciple? he's like no oh I never even knew the man and Peter's like wee same guy same guy 50 days later stands up in front of a 3,000 not little girls but men with swords and clubs not 3,000 that's how you got saved thousands he says Jesus Christ whom you crucified has become both Lord and Christ you need to get saved and get baptized today and thousands did where did that courage come from? what kind of class did he take? he didn't take a class he was the day of Pentecost when the Holy Spirit came down and changed him into a man of courage and a man of purpose and a man that can be used by God same thing with the apostle John the apostle John before he dies as known as the apostle of love because he was the last living apostle you guys know this and then the churches would invite him to speak imagine that guest speaker the apostle John do I sign up for that? and people would walk for miles to come here John speak and he was an old old man and he'd get up on the platform and he'd say my little children love one another and he'd sit back down like he didn't know pastors could preach five word sermons we can't anymore but John would and they would say no no no I walk for two days where's the meat where's the good stuff and he would get back up and he'd say this is the meat love one another he became known as the apostle of love but let's not forget whoop let's run the clock back Luke chapter 9 they're all in Samaria the Samaritans aren't listening so same dude says hey Jesus could we actually pray and call fire down from heaven to burn these people that aren't listening to us? I know we all have people we disagree with but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's probably only a few of you cause I know there's a few of you come on now come on there's a few of you but most of us have never prayed death upon the person that that has frustrated us a little bit we've accidents maybe but not death John literally prays I wanna set this guy these guys on fire that's how you know you have a little bit of an anger problem how does that guy become the apostle of love it wasn't a class it was the power of the Holy Spirit to change him I'm telling you men I don't know where you are today I know many of us have started out deep in our own in zone we just don't know what's gonna work and our our wives God bless them they are so quick to sometimes point out the failures and how we don't measure up and how we're not gonna get it and we and sometimes the enemy is right there to say yeah you should just give up but I'm here to tell you today what God has for you is worth you making a decision today I will not give up I will be the leader of this family and this relationship and though I have no business being this leader I have no business for the crazy stuff going on in my heart the God that I serve can take a man who had no courage in front of a little girl and make him the preacher of Pentecost the God that I can serve can make a man that was so angry he prayed that God would set people on fire and make him a apostle that was known for his love and that same God that can turn you with your lust and your line your struggle and your bitterness and you're not being compassionate toward your wife and as you say God I am deciding to make a difference today I'm deciding to take my family and my life in a completely different direction that same God can transform you into somebody who God looks at you one day and says well done my good and faithful servant you were faithful in these things I entrusted to you now I'm gonna make you ruler over many you decided I will not stay in this end zone I'm gonna move the ball by the power of the Holy Spirit to where God wants me to be and I'm gonna let God change me into a different man Amen Amen, Father thank you thank you for your word for us today and I just pray I pray for these guys Lord be in one of them I know there are times where God our wives is as amazing as they are sometimes God that sometimes there can be so much discouragement God we know that most of them are so spiritual and they know you and we don't measure up at a lot of times and sometimes when they're in a moment of the flesh they love to point that out but God I pray that we'd realize that is not how you feel about us your word is so clear Lord there is no condemnation to those that are in Christ but God you do want us to hear truth you do want us to hear truth that we need to be leaders someone has to lead this dance and you have called it to be us and so God we wanna lead this relationship spiritually we wanna go to you and ask you to fill us with your spirit to turn us into different men different than our character and our nature different especially than some of the examples we had growing up and what the culture is preaching around us God we wanna be different we wanna be one that can reflect beautiful godly things to our spouse that she can reflect to you that she can become all that she wants to be so God forgive our sin forgive our shortcomings forgive our inadequacies God I pray something would be born in us today that we would be determined to be godly men and we pray that together in Jesus name Amen


Hello, everyone. Welcome to GitOps.com Europe. I hope you are all right, and I hope you are ready to go on a journey with me. But before that, a little bit about myself. My name is Jamsu. I'm a senior architect at Redhead, and I help our customers to form high-performing teams and help them to build and adopt good practices like automation, everything as code, GitOps, obviously. Please feel free to drop your comments and questions to the chat channel. But if anything comes to your mind later on, please do reach out. Okay. What are we going to talk about this next 20-ish minutes? Well, I'd like to open up it with a platform engineering concept, and not just because it's super-high, but mainly I want to talk about why it is super-high these days. And then I would like to talk about some discovery practices to understand our organization's current practices, sorry, current processes and challenges, ambitions when it comes to this platform space, like what our users, developer needs, where are they in terms of practicing GitOps or other good practices. And of course, I would like to talk about these based on some examples from the field, based on the work that we've done in diverse customers. And then I want to talk about what we're going to do with all these informations that we discovered, and how can we use these informations to improve the adoption of good practices across the organization. Does that sounds good? Okay, let's start. So, I saw this picture on Twitter, I think it's like one and a half years ago or so, I love using it. Just to show that platform engineering is super-high, and also already started to get it wrong, just like it happened to DevOps. I'd like to sit down and talk, discuss this state one day with you, but we are short on time in here, so I'm just going to share my take. DevOps is a mindset, right? So, it is a still very valid mindset. And I see that platform engineering like a natural next step to DevOps, like a next evolution of DevOps. And why is that, and why we started to talk about platforms all of a sudden is, is a really simple answer to that, because technology is getting complex and complex each day, and the responsibilities of developers are getting increased and increased, which leads to an ever-increasing cognitive load for them. They have now more areas that they need to go deep and have expertise in. They have more responsibilities, not just on the building and testing and deploying their applications, but now observing those applications and operating the applications in a multi-cluster, multi-cloud environment. So, we start to see this increasing cognitive load on the dev layer, and that's where the platform engineering and platform as a product concept started to get attraction. So, we know that we need to address this load, and it is only feasible if engineers have access to a rich platform with on-demand services like taking away this cognitive load from them, like taking away the repetitive actions of creating and testing environment just to test some small features or setting up some tools just to do some experiments, et cetera. So, this is why platform engineers actually needs to go beyond just provisioning and configuring a highly-available Kubernetes clusters, but we need platforms to provide good set of services in a self-service manner to make developer life easier. So, with that being said, also we see platforms to enable of good practices like GitOps. So, from a platform engineering point of view, we know that we are going to do GitOps for all the good reasons that you are here and in this conference. And we also want our developers to add up this GitOps, this way of working as well. So, instead of just throwing them this new shiny GitOps engine tool, we need to build our platform services in such a way that their entry point is very easy to this new world, to this new ways of deploying applications. So, for that, it's better to understand, it's better to start by understanding where are we today with our current developer services? How are the developers are using our platform? What are their ambitions? What are their current challenges? How they would like to practice GitOps? What they would like to understand the details of GitOps. I want to introduce this navigator before we start to talk about this. We use this in our engagement. So, it is called Mobius Loop, and it helps us to create this continuous flow from discovery to delivery. So, we need to start at the discovery space to answer these questions on the top and then take the answers and the results of these and deliver something that works for our developers. So, we are on the discovery space and now there's this, there are, I want to share some good practices, good discovery practices that we use in the field to answer these questions. So, first one is called Metric-Based Process Mapping, which is my favorite. This is where we usually select a scenario like from idea to production, getting an idea into the hands of our end users, mapping out this process by identifying who are the people, who are the teams and actors involved into this process, which represent by each swim lane and what are the actions that are being taken by these people in a timeline sequence, in a timeline manner. The actions that needs to be taken in order to deploy production. So, as you can see that there are handoffs between teams and you can identify, like you can easily see how we can make this process even more efficient, what kind of automation that we can introduce. This can give you the view of how you are doing the deployment production today, how you promote your applications from one environment to the other, who are involved in this decision, what kind of approvals needs to get or how can I automate that and so on. And from GitOps perfect perspective, for example, this could help you to shape your GitOps config repository structure because you want to drive the deployments from GitOps, right? So maybe instead of doing some sort of a manual actions in here, raising a pull request to a GitOps repository and adding these related actors into the pull request for their approvals could just be a really easy gain and easy efficient improvement in our processes. So that's why it is important to have shared understanding between developers platform security and understand this process in a big picture manner so that we can start seeing improved points and we can use the technology and the good practices to fit our needs. Second one, empathy maps, it is coming from UX world. It is where we do user interviews or observe our users. In our case, our users of platforms are developers. So basically like this would give us an insight about how they work, what they need in order to do their work better, how do they interact with the platform, what is their expectations from platform. And so, for example, if you are already practicing GitOps, this could be a good opportunity for you to understand how your users are, if your users are happy with the current implementation, do they find it flexible or easy to get on board? Or if you are not using, not practicing GitOps yet, this can be important to discover their expectations around the deployment phase, that what can be the good improvement points when you are introducing GitOps, for example. And another one, so we talked about platform engineering. Let's bring the topic back to there again. We said that platforms should lower the cognitive load of developers. It should address the challenges that we hear during the developer interviews. It should help us to streamline the onboarding process that we laid out during metric-based process mapping. And it should do all those while enabling developers to do good practices like GitOps. So however, one might ask, should platform really cover all edge cases, every single scenarios in our organization? Or should it provide, when it comes to GitOps, should platform only practice the GitOps capability but not like configuring the GitOps engine for developers and give that power, give that responsibility to developers or should it provide a fully configured secure GitOps engine instances and so on? So it is really important to align around what we mean when we say platform across the organization and what are expectations from the platform. So for that, there is this quite simple, yet very powerful exercise coming from Team Topology's authors. So basically bringing diverse background people like developers, security people, ops, et cetera, who will interact, consume, shape the platform, bringing them into one room and it's done this simple foreclosure and it's like what the platform is, what it is not, what it should do, what it should not do. So uncovering the expectations here and aligning on the language will have huge impact on the services that platform will bring to the table. And GitOps is one of them, right? So we have some examples here. These are from our platform as a product workshop, which we use with our customers to help them to understand these concepts, which you can learn more by scanning this little QR code. So there are some good comments in here like platform is not just Kubernetes, it enables the organization by providing some services. And things like that open up for good conversations like what kind of services, like what to mean by it's not just Kubernetes and uncovering these kind of services together and aligning on them, it's really, really powerful. So there are lots of lots of good discovery practices and you can see more about them in openpracticelibrary.com. I just picked my favorites to share. So all those discovery practices would give you a lot of work to be done to like areas to dig deep more. So before you go and start actually, start implementing some stuff, you need to do a look to a prioritization based on those works that you just discovered. And there are really good prioritization practices in openpracticelibrary.com as well. So please feel free to check them as well.  So what you do is you start building your platform services. So at this stage, maybe you don't know exactly how to set up your GitOps engine maybe, or maybe even don't know which GitOps engine you would like to choose. But you start bringing some good technologies, good tools together to deliver something. And I will go through the examples with Argo CD because as Red Hat, this is our preferred GitOps engine, but also, and also that's the only one that I have experienced with extensively. So it's just gonna make things easier for me to share. So up until now, we shared good practice, good relationship. We started good relationship with developers. We have an idea of what kind of things would make their life easier. What are their current challenges, et cetera. And based on my experience, I usually see the onboarding applications to a container platform is a very high on the list as a challenge to address. So with that in mind, that brings technology, Argo CD to the table again. So we know that we want to practice GitOps for all the good reasons that you guys hear in the conference. We want the whole organizations to follow. However, it's a new tool. It's an amazing, it's a shiny tool, but it's a new tool to learn for developers. And we already discussed that there is an increasing load. So maybe you want to keep things simpler. So what you can do maybe is like a quick experiment to see that how we can bring GitOps to the mix in your pipelines, in your deployment phase. Maybe you could just have one Argo CD to start that looks after all the deployments and instead of like a build in a shiny dashboard on top of Argo CD, on top of Kubernetes cluster, maybe you can have this just one YAML file that developers come and raise the pull request to add their name or maybe the service name. And when it's committed, Argo CD will do its magic and do the deployment. And maybe you'll just, there's some golden ham charts in the back to help make things easier. And this would just work to start, to verify things, to experiment things. So what does this mean on the Argo CD lands? You'll have bunch of different Argo CD projects maybe per team with some good Arbecker guardrails in place. And it's a simple implementation from Dev's point and Devs are not aware of things. Many things are provided and they just work out of the box. Until maybe there's some different requests coming in or maybe it comes to update something and you realize that this can be hard to maintain. Maybe you become the blocker by holding the keys to the kingdom, so to say. And what I found is that, this is a good approach to start as long as you are keeping things transparent and start holding some sort of enablements for teams that are actually using Argo CD under the hood. So they are aware of what's going on and that they are getting ready to handle their own HK cases when necessary. So maybe you need to go back to the discovery phase if you feel like this is getting challenging, understand more what kind of challenges that you are having and understand what kind of challenges developer are having and the onboarding phase. And maybe you want to experiment with different approaches. And there's another common practice to get the benefit of Argo CD's multi-tenancy. So why not give them their own Argo CD instance with the right guardrails in place and of course let them do their own thing. But, excuse me, we just said that we don't want to increase their cognitive load by giving them yet another tool. But also we don't want to become blocker by not letting them to play around with Argo CD to maybe test this new plugin that they think that it's going to be useful for them. So that's the right approach. So we said platform engineering should provide some set of services that just works out of the box. So maybe what you can do is that you can just create a little bit of an automation around onboarding that creates these environments for developers, like giving them an Argo CD, has all the basic configurations in place and also providing some sort of a GitOps repository out of the box that things would just work. But since also they have access to the Argo CD, they can configure stuff based on these pre-configured GitOps repositories, pre-configured initial application of applications things. So this screenshot shows that when there's a new team has gained an access to Kubernetes cluster based on their LDAP group, maybe you can trigger a pipeline to give them what they need. It is more of a mix of hand templates plus pipelines, but in the end, it's just a simple automation for you to validate ideas before you go and learn the implementation of full-blown IDPs. So we were working with this customer that they were new to the container ecosystem and GitOps, we discovered their needs with going through the discovery practices and how can we make their life easier by providing like what we need to provide to make this their life easier basically. And we've discovered that if you provide some golden templates, if you provide a golden pet pipeline, some ready to GitLab repositories, et cetera, things will get easier for them to provide and things that just work will help them to hit the ground on Kubernetes on the first day. And since we are holding these like enabling on the side with them and some sort of hand holding until they feel comfortable, they get to own the tools and they feel comfortable each day. So this is just to think that maybe you can also think about that. So it doesn't have to be my Argos CD to rule them all, but maybe there are multiple Argos CDs for the teams. So in the end, let's say we had a platform Argos CD that is responsible for platform related things like, I don't know, OAuth configurations and logging, image registry, et cetera, plus providing their own Argos CDs and Arbex and environments and such. And we also had these multiple namespace Argos CDs per team that are responsible to deploy application teams, their applications and tools that they need. And such shared tools like kits, like Argos CD, the same implementation, same approach help us, help them to speak the same language which help us to collaborate and communicate easier and easier. So in the end, you have the empower development teams that are getting benefits from platform services like ready to use Argos CD with pre-configured GitHub repositories, but they also have the knowledge to modify them as they need. And we also need to encourage, let's say that they modify something, they build a new plugin, they did some configuration that is gonna be useful for other teams as well. You need to encourage them to bring these changes, these additions to the platform back so they help you to improve the platform so they own the platform as well. And then you create this really nice whole feedback loop and inner sourcing maybe it's in your organization. So tie in all things back. Know your users, know where you are, discover enough to just get starting and keep things simple to verify, to experiment and collaborate to find more suitable ways to practice GitOps and other good practices as well within your organization without bringing the additional cognitive load to the other. So start from discovery phase and go through the loop and verify if you are on the right track by engaging with your developers frequently. So that's what I all want to say. Thank you for listening and remember, always have your head over your helmet. Have a good one everybody.


Good morning everybody JR Fisher here good to see you and welcome to Saturday morning I got my iPad over here got my little cup of water here. Okay trying to do some more water. We do that right now Today's session is probably gonna chill you out You know up until Christmas because this is a stressful time, right? He's like, you know, those of you who celebrate Christmas or Kwanzaa or whatever you're celebrating, you know Hanukkah It can be stressful.  So today is gonna help you with that It's not only gonna help you with that. It's gonna help you with business And business is another thing and let me hit my screen here. Make sure I think I'm streaming. Okay, let me know if I'm streaming Okay, put something that comment there Yeah, I think it is I've got like a monitor off of the side. So I think it's okay If you haven't subscribed yet, make sure you do so hit that subscribe button down there turn it from red to gray Then you'll be subscribed which really doesn't do you much good until you turn on bell notifications because being subscribed Basically is saying this is a channel. I listen to but if you don't go to the channel to look and find stuff You won't find it. So the way to get around that is to actually Turn all bell notifications.  So it's really cool if you turn on notifications because we can actually send you a notification When I do upload something new when I do go live make use of this chat box here. Let me put something in here Let me put I haven't done that yet. I should have Make use of the chat box and tell me who you are Man, I love talk to text because I can't type, you know, I mean I type But it's like two fingers of one hand and three fingers on the other hand We're live today on Facebook and YouTube. So a couple different places. I appreciate all you guys, man I got to tell you it's nearing the end of the year and it's been a phenomenal year for us And I don't mean just in money. I mean in relationships. I mean in people I've met online I mean in family. I mean, it's just really been a great year And I think it's really been a great year for all of us if we all step back and look We've had losses, you know, I've had friends who lost loved ones to COVID You know, and I've had friends who had some terrible things happen and we've had some things happen But overall we're still here and if we're still here, we can make a difference Today is not technical today is not about making more money today is really about getting your head right and Here's the thing if you don't have your head right, you're not going to be able to have a successful business You're not going to be able to have a successful family You're not going to be able to successfully exercise on a regular basis You're not going to be able to eat healthy if you don't have your head right first That's the thing you got to do That's the thing that is so very important that we all forget is to get our head right Make sure we're in the right place and today we're going to talk about a thing called mindfulness And you know mindfulness is a kind of a hard thing to do, I think Because mindfulness is really the simple act of being completely in the moment Now you think about that how often are you completely in the moment? You're thinking about just what's going on right now right now. You're completely here You're not being distracted by your cell phone or other people talking or what you got to do next week Or what happened last week? I mean you're in the moment right now This is a really cool thing to practice and I'm going to talk to you about the benefits of it I'm going to talk to you about how to do it I mean really being fully aware of what you're doing where you are and not Excessively reacting to or getting exhausted from your environment just kind of chill Now to some of you you're going to say all that silliness that mindfulness is so silly It's not and and if you can practice this guy's you will see the benefits of it They did a survey and they found that 66 of leaders better manage stress when they practice mindfulness 66 percent. They said 60 percent had increased focus on Decision-making and made better decisions. They said 46 percent experienced an increase in innovation and creativity What if you could do that? What if you could do that? Wouldn't it be worth trying this? And you know the funny thing is when we're not mindful we're really wasting our energy If we're thinking about what happened in the past, that's okay, but we can't change the past I've seen people try to do it. I've never seen anybody successful You just can't do it And as far as the future, I mean we can work towards the future But the best way to work towards the future is to work on the current time right work on right now So mindfulness will really help you with this mindful leadership means being able to take a truthful look at yourself And regularly posing questions about yourself I posted a meme the other day About elon musk and it looked at his net worth for the past 10 15 years and he's the richest guy in the world now And I know that goes back and forth between him and the other guy that sells stuff online I can't remember his name jeff something, but anyhow elon Treats people right elon cares about things outside of himself And when you get outside yourself and you start to care about the people around you and the people that support you The people that work for you a family member strangers You know I I used to have a bad temper when I was driving it somebody cut me off or you know Pull in front of me and I changed all that I'll give you a secret to that just second But I changed all that here's how I changed all that I let everybody in front of me Anybody that needed to get in front of me I would allow them and everybody that cut me off I assumed they were having a bad day They got fired from their job something horrible happened in their family They were rushing to an emergency and if I put my mind in that place All of a sudden it makes me calmer and if you think about it if our car gets in front of you What is it? What how long is the car 12 15 feet? I don't know. Um, so you're going to get there 12 or 15 feet later Uh, this is like a split second.  It'll it'll really chill you out Got a couple of comments in here Fortunately just got notified. Oh good paul. Good to see that Your audio is okay, but I think you need my closer or position different friday audio was better. Okay. Let's see Let me know how that is. Let me know if that's better.  So let's see if that works The biggest thing I learned on mindfulness was learning to say no to distractions Yeah, and you know this no and yes thing and I've talked about this no and yes thing before You're always making decisions as to one thing or another So if you say no to one thing you're saying yes to something else So if you're saying no to helping somebody for an hour and a half on a saturday You're saying yes to doing something else for an hour and a half on a saturday There's still that hour and a half on a saturday Okay, I don't know if you you're grasping this but uh, if you say yes to something on a saturday You're going to spend an hour and a half doing something for somebody or helping somebody or doing some for yourself or exercising You're saying no to something else because you've taken up that time with an hour and a half It's kind of a weird thing to wrap your mind around As a thought leader and business owner. It also means leading without arrogance I can't stand arrogance.    Yeah, appreciate strangers Everybody is going through this thing called life and they're struggling with it. Okay, everybody struggles I don't care what your position is in life. I don't care how chill somebody looks. They're struggling Everybody's struggling and as soon as you realize that everybody's going through the same stuff as you It makes it a little bit easier and and here's the truth Some people handle situations better than others. Don't judge people for that.  And I think that is so very important guys In this place We delve into why mindfulness is important for your knowledge And your your commerce business and how to be a more mindful leader. Okay, so let's talk about some of this stuff here And I've taken some notes here Paul, let me know if that sound is better there or Erica. Let me know if that sounds better Let me know if that sound is working out a little bit more I am closer to this big old Microphone, but anyhow, so according to behavioral essentials uh etna ceo mark batolini Initiated the company's mindfulness program after a ski accident etna partnered with american Vinayoga Institute and e mindful to launch a pilot program with 239 employees. Okay, this is pretty interesting Listen to this now more than one quarter of etna's workforce of the 50 000 has participated And at least one mindful class those who participated listen to this in the program reported an average of a 28 percent reduction in their stress levels. I don't know how they measure that by the way Uh a 20 improvement in their sleep quality and a 19 percent reduction in pain So probably what they do is they just ask the people and then they take a percentage of the total number And they say that's their percentage They also became more effective on the job gaining an average of 62 minutes per week of productivity each etna estimates the value of that added productivity will be $3,000 per employee per year. Additionally, etna is seeing a decrease in health care cost If you're less stressed if your mind is more chill If you're you're you're calmer you're gonna be healthy. That's just the way it is. That's how it works guys Um, uh, let's see a great point about leading by example, but also a business owner. You need to set expectations Uh sound is a bit better. Good. Thank you for that.  Okay, and I would say great Uh, what do you think the problem is and they would say well? I think the problem is they're incompetent or they're lazy or they're whatever Okay, they would give me some reason for this person not performing well And I would say okay, did you tell them what you expected? It's pretty important and I sometimes I would give replies like well, they should know better Well, maybe they don't okay. You as a manager. It's your job to tell them expectations It's really hard to hold somebody to a certain level and Not tell them what you went out of them. I mean, it's like it is really kind of insanity, right? You I want you to do this, but I'm not going to tell you what I want you to do So yeah, you have to set expectations now the second thing you have to do which is super important Is you have to help them get there. So that means you got to train them So if my sales manager says this guy's a terrible salesperson and I say well Why they're a terrible salesperson and they say well because they're not good at x y and z And I say have you trained them in x y and z and they go well. No, but they as a salesperson They should know these things So you as a manager, you know, it's your responsibility to teach them x y and z and if you haven't taught them They aren't the problem.  Okay, so, you know, I had a hard time with that because managers didn't want to look at themselves They wanted to blame their employees and that's not the way to go about it Now the third the third part to this okay, so you've told them about it You've trained them how to do it and then the last part is you got to check on it You got to check on it on a regular basis, you know, you can't say well, you know, bob had a terrible month He only sold seven units and he should have sold 12 And I would say to you did you check on bob on the fifth of the month? Did you check on bob on the 10th of the month the 15th of the month the 20th the 25th How in the world did you get all the way through the month? And bob wasn't as productive as he should have been It was because you didn't check see things that you check on will often improve Mindfulness prevents cognitive failures such as distraction Forgetting blunders and it improves performance at work. So if you're living in the moment You're less prone to errors and mistakes that may prove costly to your business And I can't count how many times I wasn't mindful, you know, I was I was saying Last night it was funny because we were having dinner and we had some curly fries We don't eat fries very often but we buy these frozen Arby's curly fries and every now and then we'll have them maybe two three times a year really good And I wanted ketchup and I couldn't find I knew I wouldn't be able to find the ketchup I knew it when I opened the the refrigerator. I wouldn't be able to find it So I started moving things and I grabbed an item and moved it out of the way to look for ketchup And I couldn't find it and when I went to put the item back Guess what the item wasn't my hand to catch it I had moved Ketchup to look for ketchup. Now. Do you think I was being mindful in the moment? Probably not Probably not. So, you know, if I teach you about this mindfulness you can practice it But you have to work on it on a daily basis all the time. You got to work on being mindful So important to do because all of us will slip out of it and if you do slip out of it It doesn't mean you're a failure. It just meant you slipped out of it You know, it's like saying, you know, I want to go to the gym and I want to work out But I missed two days in a row because something happened. So I might as well just forget about it No, you just missed two days. There's no sense in forgetting about it.  I don't as a matter of fact I don't do that because I have people in place to do that and I check with those people. So that's your answer on that one there You don't want to be a micro manager if I showed up at the production facility once a week and said, I hope you guys are doing it Right I'd have a problem, but I can check with my management team and make sure they're doing it right and that's what I do there Let's see as a business leader. Do you have a mission statement that you share with your employees and that they know Your values and expectations. Yes. It's a matter of fact I'm editing a video as a as of this morning and it's about mission statements and vision statements, which are two different things A mission is what you're trying to accomplish And once you've accomplished that then you have a vision and I've done an entire video on that policy You're going to see that come out within the next few weeks But it goes into detail about nike about amazon About starbucks about all these companies and what their mission statements are and vision statements two different things So let's talk about this improve intuition thing You've probably heard the term gut feeling you got that's like kind of gut feeling about things That's nothing but intuition a secret sense that tells you if something is right or maybe it's not right Okay, maybe it's not right. I remember This is going back probably about 12 13 years and I was in my business attire at the time which was a suit and a tie And I had a sports coat on and I got out of my car And this guy started walking towards the young guy probably 17 or 18 going hey, hey, hey help me out This guy's really bugging me. So I look off to the right. There's another guy running towards him going Oh, no, he's telling me a story and they came in on both sides of me And I I had this intuition. I said these guys are up to something bad like I'm about to get mugged And they just both started yelling at the same time coming closer and closer towards me And I had a concealed carry permit. So I opened my coat and I said, I don't think you guys want to mess with me And they both looked at me and they went, oh, no, no, man. We're kidding. We're kidding. No problem No problem and they walked off together Now my intuition was that they were together and they were planning something and I think they were planning to mug me at the time But I did want to let them know, you know, I do have protection I wasn't going to pull it out because that's brandishing. You can't do that But I just showed them I said, I don't think I'm the guy you want to mess with I don't think I'm the guy and they both walked off together And started walking over to other cars. So I'm sure they were out there doing whatever they were trying to do Uh, but I had that intuition since mindful people are more aware of their inner voice and self They're more likely to have powerful intuitions about what may be right or wrong for their business too. Okay At times the intuition may be your best bet when making important decisions Possibly even more powerful than data and expert opinions, you know, because I've seen a lot of that stuff be wrong You know, when I started my company, I wanted to can meet and sell it for survival food and I would say Almost everybody told me I was wrong except people who had come up with products and they were like give it a try You know, give it a try But all my family and friends and all that they said that's not going to work. You can't do that None of them had done that. None of them had done anything like that. Now The next thing is Um, your creativity level. I think this is so very important If you want to be more creative heightened creativity One of the prerequisites of being creative is the ability to let your brain relax And of all things daydreaming daydreaming activates this default mode network in your brain, which is responsible for making new connections And helping you solve complex problems. It's pretty interesting stuff guys mindful people And I keep looking over for comments and feel free, you know to throw comments in there as I'm Talking ask questions. Do whatever you want here. This is y'all's session. Okay. This is not my session of y'all's Mindful people will find it easier to switch off these miscellaneous thoughts Like the days to-do list or what to prepare for dinner or you know What movie you're going to see that night? The brain can relax and think of creative ideas and solutions Paul's puts up in here. I think your street experience and previous experience which comes from failure Helps with intuitive development. It certainly does. Um, you know and as a kid Um, I had a lot of street experience. A lot of it was not good. Okay. I had a lot of bad experiences I got a lot of trouble. Uh, I got arrested at a young age I was doing things I shouldn't be doing But that helped me as an adult To know what's right and wrong and how to handle things and where I went to be in life There's about four of us that hung out together When I was in high school Two of the four ended up going to prison And they both did time and I'm talking, you know, a number of years not 20 or 30, but a number of years Those two guys those two guys are multi multi millionaires now probably in the hundreds of millions of dollars So I think sometimes these bad experiences can be very helpful to you You can also have increased satisfaction and less burnout think about this According to the national institute of occupational safety and health 1999 26 of workers say that they are often or very often stressed at work Stress can have an impact on your performance as a digital entrepreneur We want to reduce the stress when you're launching and growing a business. It can be chaotic. You're responsible for doing everything Okay, I know I was everything. I do everything And everything is urgent if you don't pace yourself You can easily experience this burnout and we don't want to do this. Let me send you a message here This is an area where mindfulness can be especially helpful And this what I just said somebody sent me a message here that took me off point I don't like that So I try to turn off all my messages on my watch and there's one I missed and I guess it was messenger So I got to get that turned off Instead of reacting emotionally to the crisis of the day a mindful person will stop and process their feelings They'll refocus their attention. They'll address the situation from a practical perspective by thinking Mindful and once again mindfulness is just being in the moment by reacting to stress in a more thoughtful manner Mindful people are able to derive more joy at work and be less stressful. That's what we want to do The next thing it's going to help you do because this is not all about business life is not all business You know, we could work a lot, but it's also about your social relationships. We can improve our social relationships That's an important factor guys I like that both you and jessica both are Creative in your thinking. I think that events and travel opens up our creative process I really believe that paul. I think that's a very true statement and I think travel Travel and eating different foods travel and eating different foods Expand your mind. It actually expands your mind It makes you more open to different people and different things and understanding other people's situations I think we can be very judgmental if we don't understand somebody else's situation Businesses are built on relationships. So you got to have these social relationships relationships with partners relationships with peers and customers and employees and clients As as luck would have it mindfulness leads to better social relationships keeping these relationships positive Can actually buffer the impacts of business stressors They help you stay creative and happy even when dealing with challenges Now i'm going to talk about a few leaders here for a second And you don't have to like these people. You don't have to like these people However, they have some talents that you can't hardly ignore bill clinton, um, you know, I didn't like his politics, you know I just didn't however I talked to people who have met him and they said one on one You knew he was talking to you you knew he was in the moment with you He was looking you in the eyes He was shaking your hand and he was hearing what you had to say Which was very interesting. Um, the same thing with elan musk Um, and you know, you could like him or love him. I do love elan musk, but they say that when he's talking to you He's really thinking about what you're saying. He's really listening to you He really gives thought to what you have to say Because he's in the moment I mean now that guy's got a lot of things to distract himself, but he's in the moment Okay, very interesting. Um, I've heard the same thing about obama. I've heard the same thing about trump And you know, you can have Differing views on these people that's okay, but you everybody who's been successful has some talent in some area There's something that drove them to get there in spite of their weaknesses in spite of the downsides that they have There was a glom et al Report died in 2012 that suggests that mindfulness Further is positive social connections in business because it boosts flexibility and empathy among people What is empathy? It's caring about somebody else's situation If you care about somebody else's situation, you're going to be more empathetic to them And they're going to feel that people who exercise mindfulness are more likely to accept people as they are Without bias and be more accepting of different personalities. It's okay if your personality is different. It's okay Um, so are you ready to really kind of embrace this thing? Are you? There's some steps that you need to go through Um, number one is attention. Okay intense guys attention intention Know what you seek the first to boost Mindfulness is to know What you wish to achieve or accomplish intentions don't have to represent far away past goals or anything like that An intention can be as simple as what you want to achieve on a given day. What is your intention for today? What behaviors do you want to avoid? What actions do you want to embrace and keep doing more of? clear intention Helps you design your work and personal life that you're going to be happy to live with. Okay So that's intentions now attention be present And observe and pay close attention to everyday activities and experiences when you walk into a room look around the room See the room see the people what's going on? Even if it's repetitive and mundane Presence of mind helps you avoid errors and think about creative solutions to problems Whereas in attention leads to feelings of disconnect and border. Okay So, you know, if you're ever bored is probably because you're not connected to your surroundings For instance, if you create an online course, okay, which I'm doing now and I've done many before You may find yourself doing certain activities on autopilot like writing course material or completing admin tasks for your course Attention and awareness can help you write better course materials and think of ways to reduce admin work Next thing you have to have is alignment and guys if you're not taking notes Go back and write these things down because these seriously are going to help you alignment Is is living and working in alignment with your inner values? Okay, if you're in a job or you're selling a product or service you don't believe in it makes it very tough Just as companies have core values each individual does to for instance Some individuals may believe in sustainable living while others may value honesty and integrity above all else Okay, that may be their thing whatever your inner values are you can't achieve mindfulness without without what staying true to them If you stray away from your inner value system You'll no longer find joy in running your business and you'll fail to live mindfully when you're running your business Practicing mindfulness and sales can make sure your business supports your core values. You got to make sure you do that guys Next thing up is acceptance Acceptance imperfections mistakes in ourselves as well as others you have to embrace that you're going to make mistakes It's okay Except that you're capable of making errors and that you're not perfect. This is not Excuse me. This is true Of everyone you work with okay, once you embrace shortcomings and failures It's a whole lot easier to overcome and avoid and overlook them. Okay, it's okay if you make mistakes And it's okay if others make mistakes Attitude what's your attitude? Don't judge don't judge. You don't know what that other person's going through that person that cut me off in traffic I don't know that they're not rushing to the hospital To help a loved one. I don't know if they're they just caught their wife cheating their husband cheating I don't know if one of their kids is, you know, very sick at home and they're trying to get I don't know Okay Attitude don't judge the last key to mindfulness is having good attitude One that is non judgmental and be kind and be patient with everybody I don't care if it's that bag or at the grocery store.  Whatever don't judge You're not them. You don't know what they're going through and even if you knew exactly what they're going through you don't know what what Talents or what skills they have to handle what they're going through just because you would handle it differently Doesn't mean they will okay? So attitude don't judge if you were to establish a good relationship with Collaborators okay and develop meaningful products for customers You'd need to open up to different kinds of people and experiences This is the only way to empathize with other people and work effectively with them. Okay So What are you going to do? What are you going to do today? You've got you've got this week before the holidays If it's your holiday, if it's not whatever you still got a week Um, what are you going to do? Are you going to be more mindful?  Are you going to accept people a little bit more? And if not ask yourself this question Why not Why not calm yourself down a little bit? Why not be more accepting? Why not be more kind? Why not admit it when you make mistakes? Sometimes I'll say or do things. I'm like, why did I say that? Why did I do that? And it's time to go ahead and apologize if you did something wrong you got to do that Okay, or explain why you said that to people if you cut somebody off You know the sentence or whatever you said something to them be more mindful. You've got an opportunity you've got next year now It's coming up. We go we go ahead and start practices in this now and we're going to have a whole lot better year That's entirely up to you now If you do have any lasting questions or comments put them in that chat box there Let's see here. Let's see here. I'm going to read through some of paul's stuff. He's got a few comments Love it paul. Thank you for putting it in there Um, it's just like your friday lunch. It offers a chance to experience new food and ideas 100 paul That's why we do that. That's why we eat at different places.  We really like we could just eat at those every single friday Um, but we don't during the week. We'll eat at the ones we like, you know, maybe try something new Maybe not, uh, but on friday. It's usually something new. We have to try something new. It's got to be new Let's see here I also like that you reach out across different age groups From your kids to your older buddy in san diego Each bring different ideas to the table and expand your mindfulness paul. You're very observant And I actually do that intentionally Um, you know, some of my best friends are in their 20s. Uh, and some of them are in their 80s So I don't I don't I don't know man. I don't know this age thing is a weird thing. I mean Because people look differently as they get older. I don't think they're any different people. I think we're all pretty much the same Um, I don't I don't know if I act my age, but then again, I don't know what age you're supposed to act That's a weird question Is then what age are you supposed to act and people say well, it should match your chronological chronological age and then I ask the question Why is that? You know, I heard mel Brooks the other day on an interview and in priority I think he's 95 years old and you would think he was 20 the way he talked and joked around and all So is he not acting the age he should be acting or is he just being mel Brooks? I would suggest that you just be j. R. Fisher That you just be john smith that you just be jenny jones or whoever you are Just be who you are. I think that's the way to go. Um I think that most people suffer from lack of attention and it causes them to walk around on a fog Of mediocracy wasting time that they will not give back. No, you don't get time back I Tried to get time back and I think you're right Well, I think we walk around and so and the reason mindfulness is an interesting subject Is because most people do not practice it. They don't even know about it They they just like they're reacting constantly. They're bouncing off the walls. They're like, oh, I gotta take care of this I gotta take it. Oh this popped up. Oh my god.  Pay attention. Look at what they're doing. So I'll leave it with that today I'm going to tell you pay attention. Uh, by the way, how's your buddy in san diego? Hope he's well. Hope your son is well too. My son has improved dramatically Um, you know, he's a bodybuilder and he went through three operations in like 10 days Um, and it was because of a botched operation. If some of you don't know about it call me as my whole family And luigi luigi or mando or torico, uh, who was an attorney in san diego for I think 55 60 years He's in his 80s He has terminal cancer. Uh, and he's had terminal cancer for 10 or 11 years Uh, and it was funny because I guess luigi is 87. I want to say now, um, and I moved to san diego gosh when he was I think 78 something like that and um, he told me at that time that he had gone to the doctor And they diagnosed him with terminal bone cancer and they gave him five years to live And I said five years on I keep in mind. This is now 10 years ago something like that and nine years ago And I said they gave a 78 year old. Um Five years to live. I said, well, that's that's no trick I guess I could be a doctor because I would tell those 78 year olds I'm going to give you about five years to live and by the way, he does have terminal cancer and He travels and does the stuff takes his medication, you know, he has it I wouldn't say it's a remission because it's still there, but uh, he goes through life and enjoys himself And thank you for asking paul. He's a very good friend of mine. He's been a friend of mine since I was in my 20s Uh, and he's in his 80s now. So that's that's pretty interesting story. I think uh to be friends with somebody for that long Um, yeah, just a tremendous tremendous friend really love him. He's a great guy I met him when I was I think 27 years old Um, and at that time, I think he was you had to have been in his 50s Um, and now he's 87 years old. So he's he's a great guy It's kind of funny because I have a lot of friends Um over the years and you know to my best friends from high school I've been friends with for 40 some odd years. Um, we're still friends We still talk, you know, we still text and we still visit each other. Uh, and I think friendships are super super important Now some of the friends who went in the wrong direction. Um, I didn't stay friends with them, you know, uh But the people who you know got their life in order. Hey, we're still friends the way it is Hope everyone has a blessed weekend great week. Merry Christmas to you all. Yeah this week guys I'm not sure how much I'm gonna be live Um, uh, but you know, feel free to reach out to me if you're watching this video Um, and it's not live feel free to comment below, you know, put a you know Comment below a chat. Let me know what's going on in your life Uh, you know, what what you want to hear about on this channel feel free to do any of those things I want to hear from you. Um And paul, I'm gonna work on editing that uh, caesar salad video I mean that that was a good caesar salad. You're gonna see it.  Um, so I'm gonna get that edited. Uh, I'll finish my mind And excuse me not my mindfulness my vision and mission statement one very soon So that'll be going up and paul you had questions about that. I think you're really gonna like that video So guys, I really appreciate you being here. Let me switch over to this other screen here real quick You can tell I'm ending can't you you can tell I'm ending. I really appreciate each and every one of you guys If you haven't subscribed, please do so It means so much and give me a thumbs up click that thumbs up button That really helps the algorithm More thumbs up I get the more this is going to be distributed So I'm really looking forward to that. I don't see any thumbs up on there So I need that I need that guys, please hit that thumbs up thing there Really need those if you're if you're just stopping by my channel and you're not going to watch the whole video That's fine, too But give me a thumbs up while you're here. Don't forget to ring the bell Turn it all bell notification so you're notified each and every time I go live Like I said, I will be live some next week, but not as much because I gotta get christmas stuff done That's important. I gotta get that stuff done Love each and every one of you guys appreciate you being here and I will see you next time If I can figure out how to turn this off it takes a second


What's good opensource.com? Justin Florey here again for this week's top five articles of the week for April 7th. As this week comes to a close, let's check out some of this week's hottest articles. Topics for this week include mocking web APIs with flashback, the secret, or not so secret, role of sustainers in open source, validating certificates with Golang, building GUIs with Python frameworks, and a fly-by introduction to functional programming. Coming in at number five, introducing flashback, an internet mocking tool. Automatic tests are only as useful as they are reliable. Fang, a first-time writer to opensource.com, introduces how LinkedIn uses flashback for mocking HTTP and HTTPS resources like web services and REST APIs for testing purposes. Learn how you can use it to do the same. Coming in at number four, why you should become an open source sustainer. Most people in open source understand what maintainers and contributors are, but what about sustainers? Justin Dorfman introduces the hidden role of a third group. The open source sustainers and how advocacy and support are vital to sustain open source communities. At number three, Golang to the rescue, saving DevOps from TLS turmoil. Chris Short had a problem. He needed new certificates and certificate chains for his company's site. However, before deploying them, he wanted to have testing and validation before making any changes. Check out his simple solution written in Golang that does just this and see how you can do the same. At number two, QT versus WX. How do two of the most popular Python frameworks compare? Python is a widely known programming language and has different frameworks for creating graphical user interfaces or GUIs. Seth Kinlan introduces WX Python and PyQT and helps teach readers which ones best suit their needs. And finally, coming in at the number one spot, introduction to functional programming. What is functional programming? What are the benefits and how can you learn more? Fraser Tweedale breaks down the basics, takes on some myths and gives some pointers on what you can do to brush up your skills. Catch you next week, opensource.com.