Chapter 74 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 2. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Martin Giesen. The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 2 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 74 The young gentleman, having settled his domestic affairs, arrives in London, and sets up a gay equipage. He meets with Emilia, and is introduced to her uncle. His aunt, at the earnest solicitations of Julia and her husband, took up her quarters at the house of that affectionate kinswoman, who made it a chief study to comfort and cherish the disconsolate widow. And Jolter, in expectation of the living, which was not yet vacant, remained in garrison in quality of land steward upon our hero's country estate. As for the lieutenant, our young gentleman communed with him in a serious manner about the Commodore's proposal of taking Mistress Trunnion to wife. And Jack, being quite tired of the solitary situation of a bachelor, which nothing but the company of his old commander could have enabled him to support so long, far from discovering a version to the match, observed with an arch smile that it was not the first time he had commanded a vessel in the absence of Captain Trunnion. And therefore, if the widow was willing, he would cheerfully stand by her helm. And as he hoped the duty would not be of long continuance, do his endeavour to steer her safe into the port, where the Commodore might come on board and take charge of her again. In consequence of this declaration, it was determined that Mr. Hatchway should make his addresses to Mistress Trunnion as soon as decency would permit her to receive them. And Mr. Clover and his wife promised to exert their influence in his behalf. Meanwhile, Jack was desired to live at the castle as usual, and assured that it should be put wholly in his possession as soon as he should be able to accomplish this matrimonial scheme. When Peregrine had settled all these points to his own satisfaction, he took leave of all his friends, and, repairing to the great city, purchased a new chariot and horses, put pipes and another lackey into rich liveries, took elegant lodgings in Palmal, and made a most remarkable appearance among the people of fashion. It was owing to this equipage and the gaiety of his personal deportment that common fame, which is always a common liar, represented him as a young gentleman who had just succeeded to an estate of five thousand pounds per annum, by the death of an uncle, that he was entitled to an equal fortune at the decease of his own father, exclusive of two considerable jointures which would devolve upon him at the demise of his mother and aunt. This report, false and ridiculous as it was, he could not find it in his heart to contradict. Not that he was sorry to find himself so misrepresented, but his vanity would not allow him to take any step that might diminish his importance, in the opinion of those who courted his acquaintance on the supposition that his circumstances were actually as affluent as they were said to be. Nay, so much was he infatuated by this weakness that he resolved to encourage the deception by living up to the report, and accordingly engaged in the most expensive parties of pleasure. Believing that before his present finances should be exhausted, his fortune would be effectively made by the personal accomplishments he should have occasioned to display to the Beaumont in the course of his extravagance. In a word, vanity and pride were the ruling foibles of our adventurer, who imagined himself sufficiently qualified to retrieve his fortune in various shapes, long before he could have any idea of want or difficulty. He thought he should have it in his power at any time to make prize of a rich heiress or opulent widow. His ambition had already aspired to the heart of a young, handsome duchess dowager to whose acquaintance he had found means to be introduced, or should matter many chance to be unsuitable to his inclinations. He never doubted that by the interest he might acquire among the nobility he should be favoured with some lucrative post that would amply recompense him for the liberality of his disposition. There are many young men who entertained the same expectations, with half the reason he had to be so presumptuous. In the midst of these chimerical calculations, his passion for Emilia did not subside, but on the contrary began to rage to such an inflammation of desire that her idea interfered with every other reflection, and absolutely disabled him from prosecuting the other lofty schemes which his imagination had projected. He therefore laid down the honest resolution of visiting her in all the splendour of his situation, in order to practice upon her virtue, with all his art and address, to the utmost extent of his influence and fortune. Nay, so effectually had his guilty passion absorbed his principles of honour, conscience, humanity, and regard for the Commodore's last words, that he was base enough to rejoice at the absence of his friend Godfrey, who, being then with his regiment in Ireland, could not dive into his purpose or take measures for frustrating his vicious design. Fraught with these heroic sentiments, he determined to set out for Sussex in his chariot and six, attended by his valet de champ and two footmen. And as he was now sensible that in his last essay he had mistaken his cue, he determined to change his battery and sap the fortress by the most submissive, soft and insinuating behaviour. On the evening that preceded this purposed expedition, he went into one of the boxes at the playhouse, as usual, to show himself to the ladies, and in reconnoitering the company through a glass, for no other reason but because it was fashionable to be per-blind, perceived his mistress very plainly dressed in one of the seats above the stage, talking to another young woman of a very homely appearance. Though his heart beat the alarm with the utmost impatience at the sight of his Emilia, he was for some minute deterred from obeying the impulse of his love by the presence of some ladies of fashion, who he feared would think the worse of him, should they see him make his compliment in public to a person of her figure. Nor would the violence of his inclination have so far prevailed over his pride as to lead him thither, had not he recollected that his quality friends would look upon her as some handsome Abigail, with whom he had an affair of gallantry, and of consequence give him credit for the intrigue. Encouraged by this suggestion, he complied with the dictates of love, and flew to the place where his charmer sat. His air and dress were so remarkable that it was almost impossible he should have escaped the eyes of a curious observer, especially as he had chosen a time for coming in, when his entrance could not fail to attract the notice of the spectators. I mean, when the whole house was hushed in attention to the performance on the stage. Emilia, therefore, perceived him at his first approach. She found herself discovered by the direction of his glass, and guessing his intention by his abrupt retreat from the box, summoned all her fortitude to her aid, and prepared for his reception. He advanced to her with an air of eagerness and joy, tempered with modesty and respect, and expressed his satisfaction at seeing her with a seeming reverence of regard. Though she was extremely well pleased at this unexpected behaviour, she suppressed the emotions of her heart, and answered his compliments with affected ease and unconcern, such as might denote the good humour of a person who meets by accident with an indifferent acquaintance. After having certified himself of her own good health, he very kindly inquired about her mother and Miss Sophie, gave her to understand that he had lately been favoured with a letter from Godfrey, that he had actually intended to set out next morning on a visit to Mistress Gauntlet, which, now that he was so happy as to meet with her, he would postpone until he should have the pleasure of attending her to the country. After having thanked him for his polite intention, she told him that her mother was expected in town in a few days, and that she herself had come to London some weeks ago to give her attendance upon her aunt, who had been dangerously ill, but was now pretty well recovered. Although the conversation, of course, turned upon general topics, during the entertainment he took all opportunities of being particular with his eyes, through which he conveyed a thousand tender protestations. She saw and inwardly rejoiced at the humility of his looks, but far from rewarding it with one approving glance, she industriously avoided this ocular intercourse, and rather coquettied with a young gentleman that ogled her from the opposite box. Peregrine's penetration easily detected her sentiments, and he was netted at her dissimulation, which served to confirm him in his unwarrantable designs upon her person. He persisted in his assiduities with indefatigable perseverance. When the play was concluded, handed her and her companion to an hackney coach, and with difficulty was permitted to escort them to the house of Emilia's uncle, to whom our hero was introduced by the young lady as an intimate friend of her brother Godfrey. The old gentleman, who was no stranger to the nature of Peregrine's connection with his sister's family, prevailed upon him to stay supper, and seemed particularly well pleased with his conversation and deportment, which by help of his natural sagacity he wonderfully adapted to the humour of his entertainer. After supper, when the ladies were withdrawn and the citizen called for his pipe, our sly adventurer followed his example. Though he abhorred the plant, he smoked with an air of infinite satisfaction, and expatiated upon the virtues of tobacco, as if he had been deeply concerned in the Virginia trade. In the progress of the discourse he consulted the merchant's disposition, and the national debt coming upon the carpet held forth upon the funds like a professed broker. When the alderman complained of the restrictions and discouragement of trade, his guest invade against exorbitant duties, with the nature of which he seemed as well acquainted as any commissioner of the customs, so that the uncle was astonished at the extent of his knowledge, and expressed his surprise that a gay young gentleman like him should have found either leisure or inclination to consider subject so foreign to the fashionable amusements of use. Pickle laid hold on this opportunity to tell him that he was descended from a race of merchants, and that early in life he had made it his business to instruct himself in the different branches of trade, which he not only studied as his family profession, but also as the source of all our national riches and power. He then launched out in praise of commerce, and the promoters thereof, and by way of contrast employed all his ridicule in drawing such ludicrous pictures of the manners and education of what is called high life, that the traders' sides were shaken by laughter even to the danger of his life, and he looked upon our adventurer as a miracle of sobriety and good sense. Having thus ingratiated himself with the uncle, Peregrine took his leave, and next day in the forenoon visited the niece in his chariot, after she had been admonished by her kinsmen to behave with circumspection, and cautioned against neglecting or discouraging the addresses of such a valuable admirer. Chapter 75 He prosecutes his design upon Emilia with great art and perseverance. Our adventurer, having by his hypocrisy obtained free access to his mistress, began the siege by professing the most sincere contrition for his former levity, and imploring her forgiveness with such earnest supplication that, guarded as she was against his flattering arts, she began to believe his protestations, which were even accompanied with tears, and abated a good deal of that severity and distance she had proposed to maintain during this interview. She would not, however, favour him with the least acknowledgement of a mutual passion, because in the midst of his vows of eternal constancy and truth he did not mention one syllable of wedlock, though he was now entirely master of his own conduct. And this consideration created a doubt which fortified her against all his attacks. Yet what her discretion would have concealed was discovered by her eyes, which in spite of all her endeavours breathed forth complacency and love. For her inclination was flattered by her own self-sufficiency, which imputed her admirer's silence in that particular to the hurry and perturbation of his spirit, and persuaded her that he could not possibly regard her with any other than honourable intentions. The insidious lover exalted in the tenderness of her looks, from which he presaged a complete victory. But that he might not overshoot himself by his own precipitation, he would not run the risk of declaring himself until her heart should be so far entangled within his snares, as that neither the suggestions of honour, prudence or pride should be able to disengage it. Armed with this resolution, he restrained the impatience of his temper within the limits of the most delicate deportment. After having solicited and obtained permission to attend her to the next opera, he took her by the hand, and pressing it to his lips in the most respectful manner, went away, leaving her in a most whimsical state of suspense, checkered with an interesting vicissitude of hope and fear. On the appointed day he appeared again about five o'clock in the afternoon, and found her native charms so much improved by the advantages of dress, that he was transported with admiration and delight. And while he conducted her to the hay market, could scarce bridle the impetuosity of his passion, so as to observe the forbearing maxims he had adopted. When she entered the pit, he had abundance of food for the gratification of his vanity. For in a moment she eclipsed all the female part of the audience, each individual allowing in her own heart that the stranger was by far the handsomest woman there present, except herself. Here it was that our hero enjoyed a double triumph. He was vain of this opportunity to enhance his reputation for gallantry among the ladies of fashion who knew him, and proud of the occasion to display his quality acquaintance to Emilia, that she might entertain the greater idea of the conquest she had made, and pay the more deference to his importance in the sequel of his addresses. That he might profit as much as possible by this situation. He went up and costed every person in the pit with whom he ever had the least communication, whispered and laughed with an affected air of familiarity, and even bowed at a distance to some of the nobility, on the slender foundation of having stood near them at court, or presented them with a pinch of rappy at White's chocolate house. This ridiculous ostentation, though now practiced with a view of promoting his design, was a weakness that in some degree infected the whole of his behaviour. For nothing gave him so much joy in conversation as an opportunity of giving the company to understand how well he was with persons of distinguished rank and character. He would often, for example, observe as it were occasionally that the Duke of G was one of the best-natured men in the world, and illustrate this assertion by some instance of his affability in which he himself was concerned. Then, by an abrupt transition, he would repeat some repartee of Lady T, and mention a certain bombo of the Earl of Sea, which was uttered in his hearing. Abundance of young men in this manner make free with the names, though they have never had access to the persons of the nobility. But this was not the case with Peregrine, who in consideration of his appearance and supposed fortune, together with the advantage of his introduction, was by this time freely admitted to the tables of the great. In his return with Emilia from the opera, though he still maintained the most scrupulous decorum in his behaviour, he plied her with the most passionate expressions of love, squeezed her hand with great fervency, protested that his whole soul was engrossed by her idea. And that he could not exist independent of her favour.  Being fortified against his arts by reflecting that if his aim was honourable, it was now his business to declare it. On this consideration she refused to make any serious reply to his earnest expostulations, but affected to receive them as the undetermined effusions of gallantry and good-breeding. This fictitious gaiety and good humour, though it baffled his hope of extorting from her an acknowledgement of which he might have taken immediate advantage, nevertheless encouraged him to observe, as the chariot passed along the strand, that the night was far advanced, that supper would certainly be over before they could reach her uncle's house, and to propose that he should wait upon her to some place where they might be accommodated with a slight refreshment. She was offended at the freedom of his proposal, which, however, she treated as a joke, thanking him for his courteous offer, and assuring him that when she should be disposed for a tavern treat, he alone should have the honour of bestowing it. Her kinsmen being engaged with company abroad, and her aunt retired to rest, he had the good fortune to enjoy a tet-a-tet with her during a whole hour, which he employed with such consummate skill that her caution was almost overcome. He not only assailed her with the artillery of size, vows, prayers and tears, but even pawned his honour in behalf of his love. He swore with many implications that although her heart were surrendered to him at discretion, there was a principle within him which would never allow him to injure such innocence and beauty, and the transports of his passion had upon this occasion so far overshot his purpose, that if she had demanded an explanation, while he was thus agitated, he would have engaged himself to her wish by such ties as he could not possibly break with any regard to his reputation. But from such expostulation she was deterred partly by pride and partly by the dread of finding herself mistaken in such an interesting conjecture. She therefore enjoyed the present flattering appearance of her fate, was prevailed upon to accept the jewels which he purchased with part of his winning at Bath, and with the most enchanting condescension submitted to a warm embrace when he took his leave, after having obtained permission to visit her as often as his inclination and convenience would permit. In his return to his own lodgings he was buoyed up with his success to an extravagance of hope, already congratulated himself upon his triumph over Emilia's virtue, and began to project future conquests among the most dignified characters of the female sex. But his attention was not at all dissipated by these vain reflections. He resolved to concentrate the whole exertion of his soul upon the execution of his present plan, desisted in the meantime from all other schemes of pleasure, interest and ambition, and took lodgings in the city for the more commodious accomplishment of his purpose. While our lover's imagination was thus agreeably regaled, his mistress did not enjoy her expectations without the intervention of doubts and anxiety. His silence touching the final aim of his addresses was a mystery on which she was afraid of exercising her sagacity, and her uncle tormented her with inquiries into the circumstances of Peregrine's professions and deportment, rather than give this relation the least cause of suspicion, which must have cut off all intercourse betwixt her and her admirer. She said everything which she thought would satisfy his care and concern for her welfare, and in consequence of such representation, she enjoyed without reserve the company of our adventurer, who prosecuted his plan with surprising eagerness and perseverance. CHAPTER 76 He prevails upon Emilia to accompany him to a masquerade, makes a treacherous attempt upon her affection, and meets with a deserved repulse. Scarce a night elapsed in which he did not conduct her to some public entertainment. When, by the dint of his insidious carriage, he thought himself in full possession of her confidence and affection, he lay in wait for an opportunity, and hearing her observe in conversation that she had never been at a masquerade, begged leave to attend her to the next ball, at the same time extending his invitation to the young lady in whose company he had found her at the play, she being present when this subject of discourse was introduced. He had flattered himself that this gentlewoman would decline the proposal, as she was a person seemingly of a demure disposition, who had been born and bred in the city, where such diversions are looked upon as scenes of lewdness and debauchery. For once, however, he reckoned without his host, curiosity is as prevalent in the city as at the court end of town. Emilia no sooner signified her assent to his proposal than her friend, with an air of satisfaction, agreed to make one of the parties, and he was obliged to thank her for that complacence which laid him under infinite mortification. He set his genius at work to invent some scheme for preventing her unseasonable intrusion. Had an opportunity offered, he would have acted as her physician, and administered a medicine that would have laid her under the necessity of staying at home, but his acquaintance with her being too slight to furnish him with the means of executing this expedient, he devised another, which was practised with all imaginable success. Understanding that her grandmother had left her a sum of money independent of her parents, he conveyed a letter to her mother, intimating that her daughter, on pretense of going to the masquerade, intended to bestow herself in marriage to a certain person, and that in a few days she would be informed of the circumstances of the whole intrigue, provided she would keep this information secret, and contrive some excuse for detaining the young lady at home, without giving her cause to believe she was apprised of her intention. This be ye, subscribed your well-wisher and unknown humble servant, had the desired effect upon the careful matron, who on the bold day feigned herself so extremely ill that Miss could not with any decency quit her mama's apartment, and therefore sent her apology to Emilia in the afternoon, immediately after the arrival of Peregrine, who pretended to be very much afflicted with the disappointment, while his heart throbbed with a transport of joy. About ten o'clock the lovers set out for the hay market, he being dressed in the habit of pantaloon, and she in that of Columbine, and they had scarce entered the house when the music struck up, the curtain was withdrawn, and the whole scene displayed at once to the admiration of Emilia, whose expectation was infinitely surpassed by this exhibition. Our gallant, having conducted her through all the different apartments, and described the economy of the place, led her into the circle, and in their turn they danced several minuettes, and going to the sideboard he prevailed upon her to eat some sweet meats and drink a glass of champagne. After a second review of the company, they engaged in country dances, at which exercise they continued until our adventurer concluded that his partner's blood was sufficiently warmed for the prosecution of his design. On this supposition, which was built upon her declaring that she was thirsty and fatigued, he persuaded her to take a little refreshment and repose, and for that purpose handed her downstairs into the eating-room, where having seated her on the floor, he presented her with a glass of wine and water. And as she complained of being faint, enriched the draught with some drops of a certain elixir, which he recommended as a most excellent restorative, though it was no other than a stimulating tincture, which he had treacherously provided for the occasion. Having swallowed this potion, by which her spirits were manifestly exhilarated, she ate a slice of ham with the wing of a cold pullet, and concluded the meal with a glass of burgundy, which she drank at the earnest entreaty of her admirer. These extraordinary cordials cooperating with the ferment of her blood, which was heated by violent motion, could not fail to affect the constitution of a delicate young creature who was naturally sprightly and volatile. Her eyes began to sparkle with unusual fire and vivacity. A thousand brilliant sallies of wit escaped her, and every mask that accosted her underwent some smarting repartee. Peregrine overjoyed at the success of his administration, proposed that they should resume their places at the country dances, with a view to promote and assist the efficacy of his elixir, and when he sought her disposition, was properly adapted for the theme, began to ply her with all the elocution of love. In order to elevate his own spirits to that pitch of resolution which his scheme required, he drank two whole bottles of burgundy, which inflamed his passion to such a degree that he found himself capable of undertaking and perpetrating any scheme for the gratification of his desire.  Ravished with this confession, he now deemed himself on the brink of reaping of the delicious fruits of his art and aciduity, and the mourning being already pretty far advanced, assented with rapture to the first proposal she made of retiring to her lodgings. The blinds of the chariot being pulled up, he took advantage of the favourable situation of her thoughts, and on pretense of being whimsical in consequence of the wine he had swallowed, clasped her in his arms, and imprinted a thousand kisses on her pouting lips, a freedom which she pardoned as the privilege of intoxication. While he thus indulged himself with impunity, the carriage halted, and pipes opening the door, his master handed her into the passage before she perceived that it was not her uncle's house at which they had alighted. Alarmed at this discovery, she with some confusion desired to know his reason for conducting her to a strange place at these hours, but he made no reply until he had led her into an apartment, when he gave her to understand that as her uncle's family must be disturbed by her going thither so late in the night, and the streets near a temple bar were infested by a multitude of robbers and cutthroats, he had ordered his coachman to halt at this house, which was kept by a relation of his, a mighty good sort of a gentlewoman, who would be proud of an opportunity to accommodate a person for whom he was known to entertain such tenderness and esteem. Amelia had too much penetration to be imposed upon by this plausible pretext. In spite of her partiality for peregrine, which had never been inflamed to such a pitch of complacency before, she comprehended his whole plan in a twinkling, though her blood boiled with indignation, she thanked him with an affected air of serenity for his kind concern, and expressed her obligation to his cousin, but at the same time insisted upon going home, lest her absence should terrify her uncle and aunt, who she knew would not retire to rest till her return. He urged her with a thousand remonstrances to consult her own ease and safety, promising to send pipes into the city for the satisfaction of her relations. But finding her obstinately deaf to his entreaties, he assured her that he would in a few minutes comply with her request, and in the meantime begged she would fortify herself against the cold with a cordial, which she poured out in her presence, and which, now that her suspicion was aroused, she refused to taste, notwithstanding all his importunities. He then fell upon his knees before her, and the tears gushing from his eyes swore that his passion was wound up to such a pitch of impatience that he could no longer live upon the unsubstantial food of expectation, and that if she would not vouch safe to crown his happiness, he would forthwith sacrifice himself to her disdain. Such an abrupt address, accompanied with all the symptoms of frantic agitation, could not fail to perplex and affright the gentle Emilia, who after some recollection, replied with a resolute tone that she could not see what reason he had to complain of her reserve, which she was not at liberty to lay entirely aside, until he should have avowed his intentions in form, and obtained the sanction of those whom it was her duty to obey. Divine creature! cried he, seizing her hand and pressing it to his lips. It is from you alone, I hope, for that condescension which would overwhelm me with transports of celestial bliss. The sentiments of parents are sorted, silly and confined. Seek not, then, to subject my passion to such low restrictions as were calculated for the purposes of common life. My love is too delicate and refined to wear those vulgar fetters which serve only to destroy the merit of voluntary affection, and to upbraid a man incessantly with the articles of compulsion under which he lies. My dear angel, spare me the mortification of being compelled to love you, and reign sole empress of my heart and fortune. I will not affront you so much as to talk of settlements. My all is at your disposal. In this pocketbook are notes the amount of two thousand pounds. Do me the pleasure to accept of them. Tomorrow I will lay ten thousand more in your lap. In a word you shall be mistress of my whole estate, and I shall think myself happy in living dependent on your bounty. Heavens! what were the emotions of the virtuous, the sensible, the delicate, the tender Emilia's heart when she heard this insolent declaration from the mouth of a man whom she had honoured with her affection and esteem. It was not simply horror, grief or indignation that she felt in consequence of this unworthy treatment, but the united pangs of all together, which produced a sort of hysteric love. While she told him that she could not help admiring his generosity, deceived by this convulsion and the ironical compliment that attended it, the lover thought he had already made great progress in his operations, and that it was now his business to storm the fort by a vigorous assault, that he might spare her the confusion of yielding without resistance. Possessed by this vain suggestion, he started up and folding her in his arms began to obey the furious dictate of his unruly and ungenerous desire.  Sir, I scorn to upbraid you with the repetition of your former vows and protestations, nor will I recapitulate the little arts you have practised to ensnare my heart. Because though by dint of the most perfidious dissimulation you have found means to deceive my opinion, your utmost efforts have never been able to lull the vigilance of my conduct, or to engage my affection beyond the power of discarding you without a tear, whenever my honour should demand such a sacrifice. Sir, you are unworthy of my concern or regret, and the sigh which now struggles from my breast is the result of sorrow for my own want of discernment. As for your present attempt upon my chastity, I despise your power as I detest your intention. Though under the mask of the most delicate respect you have decoyed me from the immediate protection of my friends, and contrived other impious stratagems to ruin my peace and reputation, I confide too much in my own innocence and the authority of the law to admit one's thought of fear, much less to sink under the horror of this shocking situation into which I have been seduced. Sir, your behaviour on this occasion is in all respects low and contemptible.  Having expressed herself in this manner with a most majestic severity of aspect, she opened the door, and walking downstairs with surprising resolution, committed herself to the care of a watchman who accommodated her with a hackney chair in which she was safely conveyed to her uncle's house. Meanwhile, the lover was so confounded and overawed by these cutting reproaches, and her animated behaviour, that all his resolution forsook him, and he found himself not only incapable of obstructing her retreat, but even of uttering one syllable to deprecate her wrath or extenuate the guilt of his own conduct. The nature of his disappointment, and the keen remorse that seized him when he reflected upon the dishonourable footing on which his character stood with Emilia, raised such perturbation in his mind that his silence was succeeded by a violent fit of distraction, during which he raved like a bedlamite, and acted a thousand extravagances which convinced the people of the house a certain banio that he had actually lost his wits. Pipes, with great concern, adopted the same opinion, and being assisted by the waiters, hindered him by main force from running out and pursuing the fair fugitive, whom in his delirium he alternately cursed and commended with horrid implications and lavish applause. His faithful valet, having waited two whole hours in hope of seeing this gust of passion overblown, and perceiving that the paroxysm seemed rather to increase, very prudently sent for a physician of his master's acquaintance, who having considered the circumstances and symptoms of the disorder, directed that he should be plentifully blooded, without loss of time, and prescribed a draft to compose the tumult of his spirits. These orders being punctually performed, he grew more calm and tractable, recovered his reflection so far as to be ashamed of the ecstasy he had undergone, offered himself quietly to be undressed and put to bed, where the fatigue occasioned by his exercise at the masquerade cooperated with the present dissipation of his spirits to lull him into a profound sleep, which greatly tended to the preservation of his intellect. Not that he found himself in a state of perfect tranquility when he waked about noon, the remembrance of what had passed overwhelmed him with mortification. Emilia's invective still sounded in his ears, and while he deeply resented her disdain, he could not help admiring her spirit, and in his heart did homage to her charms. CHAPTER 77 He endeavors to reconcile himself to his mistress, and expostulates with the uncle, who forbids him the house. In this state of division, he went home to his own lodgings in a chair, and while he deliberated with himself whether he should relinquish the pursuit, and endeavour to banish her idea from his breast, or go immediately and humble himself before his exasperated mistress, and offer his hand as an atonement for his crime, his servant put in his hand a packet which had been delivered by a ticket porter at the door. He no sooner perceived that the superscription was in Emilia's handwriting than he guessed the nature of the contents, and opening the seal with disordered eagerness found the jewels he had given to her, enclosed in a biais couched in these words. That I may have no cause to reproach myself with having retained the least memorial of a wretch whom I equally despise and appore. I take this opportunity of restoring these ineffectual instruments of his infamous design upon the honour of Emilia. His chagrin was so much galled and inflamed at the bitterness of this contemptuous message that he gnawed his fingers till the blood ran over his nails, and even wept with vexation. Sometimes he vowed revenge against her haughty virtue, and reviled himself for his precipitous declaration before his scheme was brought to maturity. Then he would consider her behaviour with reverence and regard, and bow before the irresistible power of her attractions. In short, his breast was torn by conflicting passions. Love, shame, and remorse contended with vanity, ambition, and revenge, and the superiority was still doubtful when headstrong desire interposed, and decided in favour of an attempt towards a reconciliation with the offended fair. Impelled by this motive, he set out in the afternoon for the house of her uncle, not without hopes of that tender enjoyment which never fails to attend an accommodation bequixed to lovers of taste and sensibility. Though the consciousness of his trespass encumbered him with an air of awkward confusion, he was too confident of his own qualifications and address to despair of forgiveness. And by that time he arrived at the citizen's gate.  But he did not meet with an opportunity to avail himself of this preparation. Emilia, suspecting that he would take some step of this kind to retrieve her favour, had gone abroad on pretence of visiting, after having signified to her kinsmen her resolution to avoid the company of Peregrine, on account of some ambiguities which, she said, were last night remarkable in his demeanour at the masquerade. She chose to insinuate her suspicions in these hints, rather than give an explicit detail of the young man's dishonourable contrivance, which might have kindled the resentment of the family to some dangerous pitch of animosity and revenge. Our adventurer, finding himself baffled in his expectation of seeing her, inquired for the old gentleman, with whom he thought he had influence enough to make his apology good, in case he should find him pre-possessed by the young lady's information. But here, too, he was disappointed. The uncle had gone to dine in the country, and his wife was indisposed, so that he had no pretext for staying in the house till the return of his charmer. Being, however, fruitful of expedience, he dismissed his chariot and took possession of a room in a tavern, the windows of which fronted the merchant's gate, and there he proposed to watch until he should see her approach. This scheme he put in practice with indefatigable patience, though it was not attended with the expected success. Emilia, whose caution was equally vigilant and commendable, for seeing that she might be exposed to the fertility of his invention, came home by a private passage, and entered by a postern, which was altogether unknown to her admirer. And her uncle did not arrive until it was so late that he could not with any decency demand a conference. Next morning he did not fail to present himself at the door, and his mistress being denied, by her own express direction, insisted upon seeing the master of the house, who received him with such coldness of civility, as plainly gave him to understand that he was acquainted with the displeasure of his niece. He therefore, with an air of candour, told the citizen he could easily perceive, by his behaviour, that he was the confidant of Miss Emilia, of whom he was come to ask pardon for the offence he had given, and did not doubt if he could be admitted to her presence, that he should be able to convince her that he had not erred intentionally, or at least propose such reparation as would effectually atone for his fault. To this remonstrance, the merchant, without any ceremony or circumlocution, answered that though he was ignorant of the nature of his offence, he was very certain that it must have been something very flagrant that could irritate his niece to such a degree, against a person for whom she had formally a most particular regard. He owned she had declared her intention to renounce his acquaintance forever, and doubtless she had good reason for so doing. Neither would he undertake to promote an accommodation, unless he would give him full power to treat on the score of matrimony, which he supposed would be the only means of evincing his own sincerity, and obtaining Emilia's forgiveness. Peregrine's pride was kindled by this blunt declaration, which he could not help considering as the result of a scheme concerted betwixt the young lady and her uncle, in order to take the advantage of his heat. He therefore replied with manifest signs of disgust, that he did not apprehend that there was any occasion for a mediator to reconcile the difference betwixt Emilia and him, and that all he desired was an opportunity of pleading in his own behalf. The citizen frankly told him that as his niece had expressed an earnest desire of avoiding his company, he would not put the least constraint upon her inclination, and in the meantime gave him to know that he was particularly engaged. Our hero glowing with indignation at this supercilious treatment, I was in the wrong, said he, to look for good manners so far on this side of Temple Bar, but you must give me leave to tell you, sir, that unless I am favoured with an interview with Miss Gauntlet, I shall conclude that you have actually laid a constraint upon her inclination for some sinister purposes of your own. Sir, replied the old gentleman, you are welcome to make what conclusion shall seem good unto your own imagination, but pray be so good as to allow me the privilege of being master in my own house. So saying, he very complacently showed him to the door, and our lover being diffident of his own temper, as well as afraid of being used with greater indignity, in a place where his personal prowess would only serve to heighten his disgrace, quitted the house in a transport of rage, which he could not wholly suppress, telling the landlord that if his age did not protect him, he would have chastised him for his insolent behaviour. End of Chapter 77 Chapter 78 of The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 2 by Tobias Smollett This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Martin Giesen Chapter 78 He projects a violent scheme, in consequence of which he is involved in a most fatiguing adventure, which greatly tends towards the augmentation of his chagrin.  But reaping no manner of benefit from these endeavours, his passion acquired a degree of impatience, little inferior to downright frenzy, and he determined to run every risk of life, fortune and reputation, rather than desist from his unjustifiable pursuit. Indeed his resentment was now as deeply concerned as his love, and each of these passions equally turbulent and loud in demanding gratification. He kept sentinels continually in pay to give him notice of her outgoings, in expectation of finding some opportunity to carry her off. But her circumspection entirely frustrated this design, for she suspected everything of that sort from a disposition like his, and regulated her motions accordingly. Baffled by her prudence and penetration, he altered his plan, on pretense of being called to his country house by some affair of importance, he departed from London, and taking lodgings at a farmer's house that stood near the road through which she must have necessarily passed in her return to her mother, concealed himself from all intercourse, except with his valed charm and pipes, who had orders to scour the country, and reconnoitre every horse, poach or carriage that should appear on that highway, with a view of intercepting his amanda in her passage. He had waited in this unbascade a whole week, when his valet gave him notice that he and his fellow scout had discovered a shares and six, driving at full speed towards them, upon which they had flapped their hats over their eyes, so as that they might not be known, in case they should be seen, and concealed themselves behind a hedge, from whence they could perceive in the carriage as it passed a young man plainly dressed, with a lady in a mask, of the exact size, shape, and air of Emilia, and that pipes had followed them at a distance, while he rode back to communicate this piece of intelligence. Peregrine would scarce allow him time to conclude his information. He ran down to the stable, where his horse was kept ready-saddled for the purpose, and never doubting that the lady in question was his mistress, attended by one of her uncle's clerks, mounted immediately, and rode full gallop after the shares, which when he had preceded about two miles, he understood from pipes, had put up at a neighbouring inn. Though his inclination prompted him to enter her apartment without further delay, he suffered himself to be dissuaded from taking such a precipitous step, by his privy counsellor, who observed that it would be impracticable to execute his purpose of conveying her against her will from a public inn that stood in the midst of a populace village, which would infallibly rise in her defence. He advised him, therefore, to lie in wait for the shares in some remote and private part of the road, where they might accomplish their aim without difficulty or danger. In consequence of this admonition, our adventurer ordered pipes to leccanoiter the inn, that she might not escape another way, while he and the valet, in order to avoid being seen, took a circuit by an unfrequented path, and placed themselves in ambush on a spot which they chose for the scene of their achievement. Here they tarried a full hour, without seeing the carriage, or hearing from their sentinel, so that the youth, unable to exert his patience one moment longer, left the foreigner in his station, and rode back to his faithful lackey, who assured him that the travellers had not yet hove up their anchor, or proceeded on their voyage. Notwithstanding this intimation, Pickle began to entertain such alarming suspicions, that he could not refrain from advancing to the gate, and inquiring for the company which had lately arrived in a shares and six. The innkeeper, who was not at all pleased with the behaviour of those passengers, did not think proper to observe the instructions he had received. On the contrary, he plainly told him that the shares did not halt, but only entered at one door, and went out at the other, with a view to deceive those who pursued it, as he guessed from the words of the gentleman, who had earnestly desired that his route might be concealed from any person who should inquire about their motions. As for my own part, master, continued this charitable publican, I believes as how they are no better than they should be, else they wouldn't be in such a deadly fear of being overtaken. He thinks, said I, when I saw them in such a woondy father to be gone. God's hearty kins, this must be some London prentice, running away with his master's daughter, as sure as I'm a living soul. But be he who will, sardin it is, as nothing of the gentleman about him. Perthotha axed such a favour, and never once put hand in pocket, or said, Dog, will you drink? How some ever that don't argue fine in reverence of his being in a hurry, and a man may be sometimes a little too judgmentical in his conjectures. In all probability, this loquacious landlord would have served the travellers effectually had Peregrine hurt him to an end. But this impetuous youth, far from listening to the sequel of his observations, interrupted him in the beginning of his career by asking eagerly which road they followed, and having received the innkeeper's directions, clapped spurs to his horse, commanding pipes to make the valet acquainted with his course, that they might attend him with all imaginable dispatch. By the publican's account of their conduct, his former opinion was fully confirmed. He plied his steed to the height of his metal, and so much was his imagination engrossed by the prospect of having Emilia in his power, that he did not perceive the road on which he travelled was quite different from that which led to the habitation of Mistress Gauntlet. The valet de Champ was an utter stranger to that part of the country, and as for Mr. Pipes, such considerations were altogether foreign to the economy of his reflection. Ten long miles had our hero rode when his eyes were blessed with the sight of the shares ascending an hill at the distance of a good league, upon which he doubled his diligence in such a manner that he gained upon the carriage every minute, and at length approached so near to it that he could discern the lady and her conductor with their heads thrust out at the windows, looking back and speaking to the driver alternately as if they earnestly besought him to augment the speed of his cattle. Being thus at it were in sight of port, while he crossed the road his horse happened to plunge into a cart-rat, with such violence that he was thrown several yards over his head, and the beast's shoulder being slipped by the fall, he found himself disabled from plucking the fruit which was almost within his reach, for he had left his servants at a considerable distance behind him, and although they had been at his back and supplied him with another horse, they were so indifferently mounted that he could not reasonably expect to overtake the fliers, who profited so much by this disaster that the shares vanished in a moment. It may be easily conceived how a young man of his disposition passed his time in this tantalizing situation. He ejaculated with great vervency, but his prayers were not the effects of resignation. He ran back on foot with incredible speed in order to meet his valet, whom he unhorsed in a twinkling, and taking his seat began to exercise his whip and spurs, after having ordered the Swiss to follow him on the other gelding, and committed the lame hunter to the care of pipes. Matters being adjusted in this manner, our adventurer prosecuted the race with all his might, and having made some progress, was informed by a countryman that the shares had struck off into another road, and according to his judgment was by that time about three miles ahead. Though in all probability the horses would not be able to hold out much longer, because they seemed to be quite spent when they passed his door. Encouraged by this intimation, Peregrine pushed on with great alacrity, though he could not regain sight of the desired object till the clouds of night began to deepen, and even then he enjoyed nothing more than a transient glimpse, for the courage was no sooner seen than shrouded again from his view. These vexatious circumstances animated his endeavours, while they irritated his chagrin. In short he continued his pursuit till the night was far advanced, and himself so uncertain about the object of his care, that he entered a solitary inn with a view of obtaining some intelligence. When to his infinite joy he perceived the shares standing by itself, and the horses panting in the yard. In full confidence of his having arrived at last at the goal of all his wishes, he alighted instantaneously, and running up to the coachman with a pistol in his hand, commanded him in an imperious tone to conduct him to the lady's chamber on pain of death. The driver, affrighted at this menacing address, protested with great humility that he did not know whether his fare had retired, for that he himself was paid and dismissed from this service, because he would not undertake to drive them all night across the country without stopping to refresh his horses. But he promised to go in quest of the waiter who would show him to their apartment.  And then the young gentleman, exasperated at his messenger's delay, rushed with fury in his eyes from room to room, denouncing vengeance upon the whole family. But he did not meet with one living soul, until he entered the garret, where he found the landlord and his wife in bed. This chicken-hearted couple, by the light of a rush candle that burned on the hearth, seeing a stranger burst into the chamber in such a terrible attitude, were seized with consternation, and exalting their voices in a most lamentable strain, begged for the passion of Christ, that he would spare their lives and take all they had.  Thus reinforced, he rummaged every corner of the inn, and at last finding the ostler in the stable was by him informed, to his unspeakable mortification, that the gentleman and lady who arrived in the shares had immediately hired post-horses for a certain village at the distance of fifteen miles, and departed without halting for the least refreshment. Our adventurer, mad with his disappointment, mounted his horse in an instant, and with his attendant took the same road, with full determination to die, rather than desist from the prosecution of his design. He had by this time rode upwards of thirty miles since three o'clock in the afternoon, so that the horses were almost quite jaded, and travelled this stage so slowly, that it was morning before they reached the place of their destination, where far from finding the fugitives, he understood that no such persons as he described had passed that way, and that in all likelihood they had taken a quite contrary direction. While in order to mislead him in his pursuit, they had amused the ostler with a false root. This conjecture was strengthened by his perceiving now for the first time, that he had deviated a considerable way from the road, through which they must have journeyed in order to arrive at the place of her mother's residence. And these suggestions utterly deprived him of the small remains of recollection which he had hitherto retained. His eyes rolled about, witnessing rage and distraction. He foamed at the mouth, stamped upon the ground with great violence, uttered incoherent implications against himself and all mankind, and would have sallied forth again he knew not wither upon the same horse which he had already almost killed with fatigue, had not his confident found means to quiet the tumult of his thoughts, and recall his reflection by representing the condition of the poor animals, and advising him to hire fresh horses, and ride post across the country to the village in the neighbourhood of Mistress Gauntlet's habitation, where they should infallibly intercept the daughter, provided they could get the start of her upon the road. Peregrine not only relished, but forthwith acted in conformity with this good council. His own horses were committed to the charge of the landlord, with directions for pipes, in case he should come in quest of his master, and a couple of stout geldings being prepared, he and his valet took the road again, steering their course according to the motions of the post-boy, who undertook to be their guide. They had almost finished the first stage, when they described a post-shares just halting at the inn where they proposed to change horses, upon which our adventurer, glowing with a most interesting presage, put his beast to the full speed, and approached near enough to distinguish as the travellers quitted the courage that he had at last come up with the very individual persons whom he had pursued so long. Flushed with this discovery, he galloped into the yard so suddenly, but the lady and her conductor scarce had time to shut themselves up in a chamber, to which they retreated with great precipitation, so that the pursuer was now certain of having housed his prey. That he might, however, leave nothing to fortune, he placed himself upon the stair, by which they had ascended to the apartment, and sent up his compliments to the young lady, desiring the favour of being admitted to her presence. Otherwise, he should be obliged to wave all ceremony, and take that liberty which she would not give. The servant, having conveyed his message through the keyhole, returned with an answer, importing that she would adhere to the resolution she had taken, and perish rather than comply with his will. Our adventurer, without staying to make any rejoinder to this reply, ran upstairs, and thundering at the door for entrance, was given to understand by the nymph's attendant that a blunderbass was ready primed for his reception, and that he would do well to spare him the necessity of shedding blood in defence of a person who had put herself under his protection. All the laws of the land, said he, cannot now untie the knots by which we are bound together, and therefore I will guard her as my own property, so that you had better desist from your fruitless attempt, and thereby consult your own safety, for by the God that made me I will discharge my peace upon you, as soon as you set your nose within the door, and your blood be upon your own head. These menaces from a citizen's clerk would have been sufficient motives for Pickle to storm the breach, although they had not been reinforced by that declaration which informed him of Emilia's having bestowed herself in marriage upon such a contemptible rival. This sole consideration added wings to his impetuosity, and he applied his foot to the door, with such irresistible force as bursted it open in an instant, entering at the same time with a pistol ready cocked in his hand. His antagonist, instead of firing his blunderbass, when he saw him approach, started back with evident signs of surprise and consternation, exclaiming, Lord Jesus, sir, you are not the man, and without doubt are under some mistake with regard to us.  The gorgon's head, according to the fables of antiquity, never had a more instantaneous or petrifying effect than that which this countenance produced upon the astonished youth. His eyes were fixed upon this unknown object, as if they had been attracted by the power of enchantment. His feet seemed riveted to the ground, and after having stored motionless for the space of a few minutes, he dropped down in an apoplexy of disappointment and despair. The Swiss who had followed him, seeing his master in this condition, lifted him up, and laying him upon a bed in the next room, let him blud immediately, without hesitation, being always provided with a case of lancet against all accidents on the road. To this foresight, our hero in all probability was indebted for his life. By virtue of a very copious evacuation, he recovered the use of his senses, but the complication of fatigues and violent transports which he had undergone brewed up a dangerous fever in his blood, and a physician being called from the next market town several days elapsed before he would answer for his life. End of Chapter 78 Chapter 79 of The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle. Volume 2 by Tobias Smollett. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Martin Giesen. Chapter 79 Peregrine sends a message to Mistress Gauntlet, who rejects his proposal. He repairs to the garrison. At length, however, his constitution overcame his disease, though not before it had in a great measure tamed the fury of his disposition, and brought him to a serious consideration of his conduct. In this humiliation of his spirits, he reflected with shame and remorse upon his treachery to the fair the innocent Emilia. He remembered his former sentiments in her favour, as well as the injunctions of his dying uncle. He recollected his intimacy with her brother, against which he had so basely sinned, and revolving all the circumstances of her conduct, found it so commendable, spirited and noble, that he deemed her an object of sufficient dignity to merit his honourable addresses, even though his duty had not been concerned in the decision. But obligated, as he was, to make reparation to a worthy family, which he had so grossly injured, he thought he could not manifest his reformation too soon, and whenever he found himself able to hold the pen, wrote a letter to Mistress Gauntlet, wherein he acknowledged, with many expressions of sorrow and contrition, that he had acted apart altogether unbecoming a man of honour, and should never enjoy the least tranquility of mind, until he should have merited her forgiveness. He protested that although his happiness entirely depended upon the determination of Emilia, he would even renounce all hope of being blessed with her favour, if she could point out any other method of making reparation to that amiable young lady, but by laying his heart and fortune at her feet, and submitting himself to her pleasure during the remaining part of his life. He conjured her therefore in the most pathetic manner to pardon him, in consideration of his sincere repentance, and to use her maternal influence with her daughter, so that he might be permitted to wait upon her with a wedding ring, as soon as his health would allow him to undertake the journey. This explanation being dispatched by Pipes, who had by this time found his master, the young gentleman inquired about the couple whom he had so unfortunately pursued, and understood from his valide chambre, who learned the story from their own mouths, that the lady was the only daughter of a rich Jew, and her attendant no other than his apprentice, who had converted her to Christianity, and married her at the same time. At this secret having taken heir, the old Israelite had contrived a scheme to separate them forever, and they, being apprised of his intention, had found means to elope from his house, with a view of sheltering themselves in France, until the affair could be made up. That seeing three men ride after them with such eagerness and speed, they never doubted that their pursuers were her father, and some friends or domestics, and on that supposition had fled with the utmost dispatch and trepidation, until they had found themselves happily undeceived, and that very instant when they expected nothing but mischief and misfortune. Lastly, the Swiss gave him to understand that after having professed some concern for his deplorable situation, and enjoyed a slight refreshment, they had taken their departure for Dover, and in all likelihood were safely arrived at Paris. In four and twenty hours after Pipe's was charged with his commission, he brought back an answer from the mother of Emilia, couched in these words. Sir, I received the favour of yours, and am glad for your own sake that you have attained a due sense and conviction of your unkind and un-christian behaviour to poor Emmy. I thank God none of my children were ever so insulted before.  My daughter was no upstart without friends or education, but a young lady as well-bred and better-born than most private gentle-women in the kingdom.  As for your proposal, Miss Gauntlet will not hear of it, being that she thinks her honour will not allow her to listen to any terms of reconciliation, and she is not yet so destitute as to embrace an offer to which she has the least objection. In the meantime, she is so much indisposed that she cannot possibly see company, so I beg you will not take the trouble of making a fruitless journey to this place. Perhaps your future conduct may deserve her forgiveness, and really, as I am concerned for your happiness, which you assure me depends upon her condescension, I wish with all my heart it may, and am notwithstanding all that has happened, your sincere well-wisher, Cecilia Gauntlet. From this epistle, and the information of his messenger, our hero learned that his mistress had actually profited by his wild goose-chase, so as to make a safe retreat to her mother's house. Though sorry to hear of her indisposition, he was also peaked at her implacability, as well as some stately paragraphs of the letter, in which he sought the good lady had consulted her own vanity, rather than her good sense. These motives of resentment helped him to bear his disappointment like a philosopher. Especially as he had now quieted his conscience, in proffering to redress the injury he had done, and moreover found himself with regard to his love, in a calm state of hope and resignation. A seasonable fit of illness is an excellent medicine for the turbulence of passion.  In the meantime, as soon as his health was sufficiently re-established, he took a trip to the garrison, in order to visit his friends, and learned from Hatchway's own mouth, that he had broke the ice of courtship to his aunt, and that his addresses were now fairly afloat. Though, when he first declared himself to the widow, after she had been duly prepared for the occasion by her niece and the rest of her friends, she had received his proposal with a becoming reserve, and piously wept at the remembrance of her husband, observing that she should never meet with his fellow. Peregrine promoted the lieutenant's suit with all his influence, and all Mistress Trunnion's objections to the match being surmounted, it was determined that the day of marriage should be put off for three months, that her reputation might not suffer by a precipitated engagement. His next care was to give orders for erecting a plain marble monument to the memory of his uncle, on which the following inscription, composed by the bridegroom, actually appeared in golden letters. Here lies, foundered in a fathom and a half, the shell of Hazatrion Esquire, formerly commander of a squadron in Her Majesty's service, who broached two at five p.m. October 10th in the year of his age, three score and nineteen.  But his shot being expended, his match burnt out, and his upper works decayed. He was sunk by death's superior weight of metal. Nevertheless he will be weighed again at the great day, his rigging refitted, and his timbers repaired, and with one broad side make his adversary strike in his turn.


I grew up playing basketball, hockey. I mean I always liked being competitive, played like flag football. My brother was playing, he started in high school as well and there was also a receivers coach I had that really wanted to push me. He played at Nevada and he was coaching the receivers and thought it would be a good fit. When I was probably a junior in college I started seeing some older guys through Harvard whether it was Cambrade or Ben Bronnaker have opportunities to play in NFL and in addition to that I had agents reaching out to me and that kind of like sparked my interest like wow like there's somebody who wants to represent me and thinks I can make it at that level so that's when I started taking it really serious. Once I kind of got undrafted and started bouncing around I had to kind of gain back that confidence that I could play in this league. It felt good to be a part of the Titans and I kind of liked the offensive scheme. I felt like it suited my play style well and I could really kind of embrace the role that they had here and that they kind of needed. I think Coach Raebel is doing a great job. The guys that he brings into this team are just guys that you want to play for and do well and I think we just want to succeed together. I'm just trying to find my role and embrace that and do whatever I can to help the team and the coaches I know how hard they work and everyone's just working to just to get the wins and get to the Super Bowl.


As-salamu alaikum warahmatullahi wa rahmatullahi First of all, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you for allowing me to be with you all. It's a great honor to be here with you. This is a very nice tradition to read the translation of the verses, masha'Allah. Very, very nice. The first thing is that we should start by being grateful that to be able to have a house of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ana that we can come to to establish the worship of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ana to engage in the congregational prayer is a great blessing. This is the first point. The second point is that the prayer itself is a great blessing. We think about the Prophet ﷺ and his retreats to the cave of Hiraat and you know many scholars they said and he would go to the cave of Hiraat essentially he was worshiping sallallahu alaihi wa sallam but he didn't know exactly what that should look like per se but he would go to retreat and to think about Allah and to worship Allah and to you know and then eventually when the revelation begins shortly after that then the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam is taught how to pray and so this salat is a huge gift actually that many many people live their lives deep down inside look at the verse that was read subhanAllah the verse that was read about and then when when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala took the souls of everyone and he bore made them bear witness am i not your lord and they said verily you're our lord so deep down inside everybody has this desire to know Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala everyone has a desire to worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and sometimes it's covered up by many different types of things sometimes it's covered up by our desire for power our desire for wealth our distractions from material things or whatever else it might be it's covered up but deep down inside people want to worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and how many times have we seen people who come into Islam and then the first thing they say is i realized that i was always a Muslim but all of that time they didn't know how to pray they didn't know about zakat they didn't know about fasting they didn't know about hajj they didn't know about the basic teachings of the prophets and Allah who are there to send them about how to live their life what to do what not to do so this is a great great tremendous gift to be able to say yeah Allah we believe in you we submit to you and we know that you have asked us to do this prayer that you have given us the blessing of this prayer and through the prophets and Allah who are there to send them i have showed us how to worship you we thank you Allah for this blessing and when my dear brother Dr. Asad we spoke about doing this small reminder the verse that came to mind for me was the verse in Surah Taha where Allah says He says i chose you so listen to what is being revealed to you Allah is speaking to and i chose you and listen to what is being revealed to you then he says what verily i am Allah there is no god but me this is the key really subhanAllah you know why does someone come to salah on friday on saturday morning at six o'clock six fifteen in the morning why does someone come during the week before they have work why does why does why does one do this that's why the prophets and Allah who are there to send them said that when you see someone coming regularly to the salat in the masjid then bear witness to their iman like know that they're a believer okay we know that this person is a believer because this person who's regular in the salat it's a sign that they believe in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala so and Allah says oh no that i am Allah there's no god but me so worship me worship me and and be in this sincere loving devotion to me and establish the prayer for my remembrance they say that there's two major meanings for this verse actually one of them is not the one we're going to focus on but it's the one where the prophets and Allah who are there was on them said that the person who sleeps through their salat or they forget it then the way for them to make up for that is that they pray it when they remember it right so one way to think about the verse actually is and establish the prayer when you remember me so if the person forgot to pray but then they remember oh subhanAllah i forgot my zohr prayer forgot my asr prayer and they pray it and they establish that salat which by the way is what we're supposed to do this prophet said that that's how they make up for it it doesn't yes we should hold ourselves accountable but we should also keep moving in the right direction the prophets and Allah who are there that when we do something wrong we follow it with something good and it erases it so there's a positivity to it so this we miss the prayer we remember it we make the prayer the second possibility they say in the meanings is that establish this prayer so that you may remember me so that you may remember me and this i think is of course the more not apparent but this may be the thing that comes to mind first that we establish the prayer to remember Allah subhanu wa ta'ala and so when we have these prayers throughout the day actually that's why many of the Ottoman the righteous people they were very consistent in the mid-morning prayer the doha and it because this this period from fajr to zohr is too long without a prayer not too long in a bad time but like it they want to pray so i have to do some prayer in between and then so you do the fajr and you do the mid-morning prayer and you do the zohr prayer you do the asr prayer you do the majr prayer you do the ashr prayer so the entire day basically becomes a day of zikr and remembrance of Allah subhanu wa ta'ala and that of course is what we want to do and we should recognize and realize that the remembrance of Allah subhanu wa ta'ala brings a light to our lives and we don't want to live in darkness one of the beautiful things about coming to fajr prayer is that you can witness the daybreak right the falak and the daybreak is is a tremendously hopeful thing you have this darkness covers everything and the thing about darkness is that one of the things that you have all these forms around us right like if we were in this room you have people you have pillars you have chairs you have bookshelves you have all of these different things when you're in darkness you can't see any of them if it's truly dark you can't see any of them right but as soon as there's a little bit of illumination then the forms begin to take shape she's like i think there's something over there i'm not really sure what it is but something's over there and then is there because a little bit more light a little bit more light a little bit more light then things become more and more clear and the remembrance of Allah subhanu wa ta'ala is what brings clarity to our lives everything is dark actually without the remembrance of Allah everything is dark without the worship of Allah when we begin to worship Allah subhanu wa ta'ala the sun begins to rise in a sense on our hearts the sun begins to rise on our minds we're able to see things as they truly are oh this thing i thought it mattered it doesn't actually matter that much this thing i was really worried about it it's not actually something to be worried about this thing i wasn't paying attention to it it's actually very important i need to take this thing seriously but the light becomes it starts to come and so like when we come in the morning and you see the you start to see slowly but surely the hills start to become more and more clear so as we keep regular in the salah the heart begins to be more and more clear and so we establish the salah in order to remember Allah subhanu wa ta'ala and whenever we find ourselves therefore without enough remembrance of Allah subhanu wa ta'ala in our lives the easiest and most important way to regain that is to recommit to the establishment of the prayer so i don't know what's happening with this what's happening with my relations commit to the prayer and especially commit to prayer in the masjid you know mashaAllah everyone is here this is a beautiful thing commit to prayer in the masjid at least you know whatever we're doing commit to something and then that commitment will bring more and more light inshaAllah into our lives you ask Allah subhanu wa ta'ala to make our lives always filled with his remembrance to make our lives always filled with his love and his obedience to make everything that we do an act of worship and an act of remembrance of him subhanu wa ta'ala we ask Allah to open our hearts and our minds and our bodies to his remembrance and that he makes every single step and every single moment and every single breath and every single word and every single action all of it they could for him subhanu wa ta'ala we ask that Allah illuminates our lives and our homes and our families that he protects us and our loved ones we ask that Allah subhanu wa ta'ala gives victory and aid to our brothers and sisters in Palestine that he alleviates their suffering and then he aids them in everything that they need and everything that they're in need of Ya Allah Ya Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahimin we ask Allah to guide us and to give us light and everything that we do in front of us and behind us and on the left and on the right and above us and below us Ya Allah Ya Noor Al-Sama wa Ati wa Al-Alm Wassalamu Alaykum wa Salam Alaykum wa Salam Alaykum wa Salam Alaykum wa Salam Alaykum