Please join, please join, please join in a moment of not microphone silence but centering silence so we can be fully present with each other this morning, close together musically by turning to the words for our in-gathering hymn which you'll find inside your order of service. Come here to another Sunday morning here at First Unitarian Society where independent thinkers gather in a safe, nurturing environment to explore issues of social, spiritual, and ethical significance as we try to make a difference in this world. I'm Steve Goldberg, a proud, lovable member of this congregation, I'm glad you agree, and it's my pleasure to extend a very special and warm welcome to any guests, visitors, or newcomers. If this is your first time at First Unitarian Society, I think you'll agree that it's a special place and we'd like to share our hospitality with you during our fellowship hour right after the service so please feel free to join us for that. As is the case with every service, we ask you to silence those pesky electronic devices that you just won't need during the service and while you're doing that I'll remind you that if you're accompanied by a youngster today and you think that young person would prefer to experience the service from a more private space we offer a couple options for you starting with our child haven in the back corner of the auditorium and some comfortable seating just outside the doorway in the commons from which you and your young companion can see and hear the service and the reason that they can see and hear the service is that it's brought to us by a wonderful team of volunteers starting with a big thank you to Mark Schultz who's running the sound system and Smiley who is our lay minister Janine Nussbaum who served as our greeter upstairs our ushers Gail Bliss Karen Jaeger Doug Hill and Anne Smiley the host of our coffee and hospitality Jean Hills make sure you thank her and the foliage has been lovingly watered by John and Nancy Webster up here the flowers have been donated by the friends of the meeting house group of volunteers who provide support for repairing and restoring our Frank Lloyd Wright designed national landmark meeting house and they decided that today will be a great day to mark his one hundred and fiftieth birthday and call attention to his emphasis on the simple bounty of nature more about Frank Lloyd Wright's designed building in a moment couple announcements and one does relate directly to the Frank Lloyd Wright design meeting house our landmark meeting house across the parking lot as you know we have some challenges with the roof of that building and we are going to be raising money call at an event called write the roof gala on Friday October 13 that's Friday the 13th but don't let that bother you right here f you also be hosting a gala to support the repair and restoration costs of that landmark copper roof coinciding with Frank Lloyd Wright's hundred and fiftieth birthday we're asking you for two things one would be to consider whether you or your organization could help sponsor the gala and secondly whether you have some items that could be used for the live auction and third mark your calendar again Friday October 13 for the write the roof gala see Molly Kelly from the FUS staff if you have questions a program note in your program we did not indicate who is the composer of today's music and you're going to want to know this because it'll be on a trivia question someday the mosaic chamber players who are performing for us are performing music by Ludwig van Beethoven you'll hear from them in a moment as soon as I stop rattling on the only other thing I want to mention is that speaking of music one of the items that will be addressed in today's parish meeting around 1230 right here yes is an update on the search for our new music director as Dan Bronner works towards his retirement and our interim minister and a few other topics of interest to the congregation so if you're interested in that please stick around after the service for our 1230 parish meeting and with that the announcements are over the service is about to begin got some great music for you and a wonderful message I invite you to sit back or lean forward to enjoy today's service I know it will touch your heart stir your spirit and trigger one or two new thoughts we're glad you're here of a seasonal nature from Mary Oliver on road sides in fall fields in rumpy bunches saffron and orange and pale gold in little towers soft as mash sneeze bringers seed bearers full of bees and yellow beads and perfect flowerlets and orange butterflies I don't suppose much notice comes of it except for honey and how it heartens the heart with its blank blades I don't suppose anybody loves it except perhaps the rocky voids filled by its dumb dazzle for myself I was just passing by when the wind flared and the blossoms rustled and the glittering pandemonium leaned on me I was just minding my own business when I found myself on their straw hillsides citron and butter colored and was happy why not are not the difficult labors of our lives full of dark hours and what has consciousness come to anyway so far that is better than these light filled bodies all day on their airy backbones they toss in the wind they bend as though it was natural and godly to bend they rise in their stiff sweetness in the pure piece of giving their gold away I invite you to rise in body or in spirit for the lighting of our chalice and if you will please join me in reading the words of affirmation printed in this morning's program we like this chalice to affirm that new light is ever waiting to break through to enlighten our ways that new truth is ever waiting to break through to illumine our minds that new love is ever waiting to break through to warm our hearts may we be open to this light and to the rich possibilities that it offers us now let us be open to each other as we exchange a friendly reading for any children who would like to join me at the front of the auditorium for the message for all ages so this is a story that has lots and lots of different animals in it and it's called tiger tiger is it true all the pictures are going to be up on the big screen so one morning tiger tiger he got out of bed on the wrong side and he said to himself this is going to be one of those days and it was at breakfast he heard his parents arguing again and they paid no attention to him it was like he wasn't even there I might as well be a ghost said tiger tiger and at school tiger tiger was picked last at the game the children were playing anybody ever get picked last and I got picked last when I was a kid a couple of times and that hurt his feelings it felt awful and then after school his best friend went to play with zebra tiger tiger felt rotten his rottenness can be everything was terrible he thought to himself nobody cares nobody likes me and he felt these angry tears welling up in his eyes but suddenly he saw a ripple in the water what was that from that was turtle what's up turtle asked nothing said tiger tiger well if nothing can make you cry tell me more about this nothing it must be pretty powerful stuff it is just that nobody cares tiger tiger sob nobody likes me nobody cares if I'm around or not life is so unfair ever feel that way what's in a while maybe hmm said turtle you say that nobody cares about you that nobody likes you is that really true are you sure about that yes said tiger tiger my parents don't even know I'm around nobody likes me at school and my best friend has gone off to play with zebra what does sound pretty bad said turtle but can you be absolutely positively sure that nobody in the world likes you that nobody cares for you tiger tiger thought about that for a minute no he couldn't be absolutely sure I know I know he said to turtle I can't so it's not true said turtle that nobody likes you and nobody cares about you well how does it feel inside of you turtle said when you believe in that thought in your head that nobody likes you and nobody cares about you well I feel rotten I feel bad it makes me feel really sad said tiger tiger that must be terrible said turtle isn't it amazing what a little thought can do to you now how does it feel if you are not thinking that thought how would you feel if you never thought that thought again tiger tiger's eyes bright and got wide he said and I'd be one happy tiger I would feel great I could do anything and nothing would bother me tiger tiger paused for a minute that's amazing so it's not my parents and it's not my friends who bug me it's my thinking about them that's what makes me feel so bad you got it said turtle it's your thinking so now try something different right now you think that nobody likes you and nobody cares about you can you turn that thought around I mean can you find the opposite of that thought tiger tiger thought for a minute like somebody likes me somebody out there cares for me yeah I said turtle could that be true can you think of three examples of where your parents liked you well tiger tiger didn't have to think for long he said well they always remember my birthday and they take me on great vacations and they give me the best hugs in the world they not only like me I think that they really love me and how about your best friend turtle ask can you find three examples with him well he always saves a seat for me on the bus and we play games together were great game buddies and he says he really likes to make music with me and how about at school turtle said is it true that nobody likes you and cares for you at school I think my teacher likes me she always says great things about about the drawings that I make rhino always wants to sit next to me at lunch and elephant she is always telling me secrets I think she likes me too now let's find another turnaround for nobody cares and nobody likes me like I like somebody and I care for somebody yeah that wouldn't be a bad idea turtle said yeah said tiger tiger and I can think of another turnaround yes how I like myself and I care about myself well that's the best one of all turtle said but how would you do that I will always try to find out if my bad thoughts when they occur to me if they're really true or not but already I know that they probably never are that's amazing how clever these little tigers are these days turtle said so what was it the turtle did that was able to turn poor tiger tiger around so that he felt better about himself he told him the right things anybody else have another idea about what he might have done okay yeah okay and how do we get people to think about different things sometimes we tell them about other good things that they might want to think about but sometimes we ask them questions and we let them come up with those good things themselves so turtle was really really great at asking all those questions so the tiger tiger had to figure out for himself how can I turn this all around and make myself feel better yeah that's right that's right yeah because he had he had really questioned his own bad thoughts had he and he needed somebody to ask him those questions so he'd start thinking about and then he could turn it around yeah thank you for all your answers and your attention we're gonna sing you out with him number 295 we hope you have a great time in your classes this morning please be seated the first of two readings on the morning's theme comes from Spencer Burke's book a heretics guide to eternity Spencer Burke is a former evangelical Christian minister who once served in one of the nation's largest mega churches the institutional church has come to be known over the years for its obsession with boundaries it seems to spend so much of its time monitoring what other people are doing or not doing and it creates formulas to determine who's in and who's out who's lost and who's saved and on the occasions when these formulas don't seem to work out the church often tries to strong arm the situation and explain them away with phrases like you just have a lack of faith or you are blinded by the devil the Christianity most of us are familiar with is built on answers I was raised on a Jesus is the answer form of that faith which implied that Christianity is the definitive answer to every single one of life's problems even those that are not specifically addressed in the Bible imagine my surprise then to hear the Reverend Alan Jones of Grace Cathedral in San Francisco say that the task of the Christian minister is to guard the great questions indeed that is the very thing institutional churches today generally don't do they don't ask questions they present answers answers to questions that people in our culture might not even be asking institutional faith is struggling today because it is so formulaic it is so knowledge-based in a world that is fluid flexible and increasingly open to new ways of learning and interacting Robert Bella the well-known sociologist of religion at UC Berkeley has said that in the future individuals will have to work out their own solutions to questions about the sacred and the most that the church can do is to provide him or her with a favorable environment for doing this work without imposing a prefabricated set of answers sounds a little familiar to me the second reading from Harvey Cox whom I quoted from last week from his book the future of faith Harvey Cox was for many years professor of religion at Harvard Divinity School Albert Einstein was right that the mystery of the universe begins with a feeling of awe but it hits home when I realized that I am an inextricable part of this whole big picture and then I begin to ask what if anything that might mean and such musings as these begin in childhood but they provide our first introduction to the unavoidable mystery of the universe and our human place within it and struggling with these questions has generated our greatest art and music and poetry and literature from the paleolithic cave paintings to Mozart's Requiem and to repress such questions such thoughts that would not be to grow out of them but to regress to a pre-homonoid state we would wilt like snuffed out candles despite the efforts of well intentioned people who shrug these questions off as meaningless we do go on wondering and asking even though we recognize there will never be definitive answers to these questions as there are answers although always provisional to scientific ones that is why mystery and not problem is the appropriate designation here and if in some future distant generation people do stop asking these questions they will begin to look more like human-eyed robots from a science fiction novel we are human not just because we sense that we are part of albeit a miniscule one this great space-time continuum and then we ask what does it mean but also because we puzzle about why we cannot stop asking human beings might be defined as homo quarence stubborn creatures who cannot stop asking why and then asking themselves why they can't stop asking why I've been celebrating the 150th anniversary of the birthday of Frank Lloyd Wright the renowned architect of our landmark meeting house it is in this celebratory spirit that I draw your attention to a tangible symbol here in our atrium auditorium of the impact Frank Lloyd Wright has had on our society our fine Mason and Hamlin grand piano we believe based on photographic and anecdotal evidence that this piano is the instrument that Frank Lloyd Wright chose for our society in 1951 it graced our landmark auditorium for many years it was later replaced by a Yamaha grand piano in the 1970s at which time the Mason and Hamlin was moved to the Gabler living room over the years it fell into disrepair but in 2008 this vintage 1922 piano was expertly restored for use in our new atrium auditorium Frank Lloyd Wright came from a musical family his father William was a preacher and composer who opened his own conservatory on Pinkney Street here in Madison so it is no surprise that Wright recognized a kinship between music and architecture he told his apprentices in architecture you are more disciplined by the nature of your calling by the nature of your efforts than any of the other arts unless it is music the composer in music is disciplined as severely as the architect Wright describes the similarity of vision demanded by both architects and composers it seems to me that music is a kind of sublimated mathematics so is architecture a kind of sublimated mathematics and in the same sense there lies the great relationship and warm kinship between music and architecture they require very much the same mind and to Frank Lloyd Wright the composer that best exemplified this correlation was Ludwig von Beethoven in comparing the thought process of the architect with that of the composer Wright said that both proceeded to form generals to particulars along a specific theme with a particular idea and then building building building a great edifice and that is why I like Beethoven so much because I could see Beethoven build if you take Beethoven's sonatas that is when he was at his highest intellectual and probably spiritual reach when he was designing a sonata they were manifestly things for the mind as well as for feeling and in all those sonatas you will find him building designing constructing with marvelous finesse and with marvelous structural ability that is also the architects work and what better way to appreciate mr. Wright's thoughts than to listen to the incomparable Jess Salek from mosaic chamber players with another example from one of Beethoven's sonatas Steve Goldberg noted in his announcements here at first Unitarian Society we have a roof problem and for decades now we have experienced leakage in the landmark meeting house an unsurprising development given that Frank Lloyd Wright was notorious for designing buildings with semi porous roofs his indulgent clients tried their best to cope with this liability when the Tulsa Oklahoma house that he designed for his cousin Richard Lloyd Jones began to leak badly the family had to scatter innumerable tubs and canning jars throughout the house to catch the steady drips from above Mrs. Lloyd Jones was philosophic about the issue this is what happens she told a house guest when you leave a work of art out in the rain the situation here at first Unitarian Society was similar when I arrived here in 1988 particularly in the back portion of the auditorium known as the hearth room with a heavy rain or melting snow out came the pails and the garbage cans toward the end of the decades significant leaks developed in the loge offices requiring staff to cover their desks with plastic sheeting anytime that rain threatened in 1994 the roof over the auditorium was replaced around five years ago the loge area was supplied with an impermeable rubber membrane as a temporary fix and alas for several years now water again has penetrated the auditorium roof and while the loge remains dry the rubber membrane is if you've noticed rather unsightly and it does have a limited life span the time has arrived to devise a permanent solution so for a number of months now the roofing issue has been the source of considerable debate which is a little surprising this congregation is after all the custodian of a national landmark one of mr. Wright's most notable and widely imitated designs thousands of people from all over the planet flock here each year to see and to admire this edifice and if the roof needs to be replaced should not we without question try to duplicate the original in terms of both design and material well maybe while earlier conversations about the roof were pretty straightforward this time around a number of questions have been raised and debated and these include copper is expensive is there not a cheaper alternative if mr. Wright's horizontal Bermuda design invites leaking why would we replicate it if as a congregation we embrace and try to apply sustainable values can't we explore more environmentally sound approaches to replacement of that roof for instance is it possible to put solar panels on the lotion if we change the roof's appearance and we lose our national landmark status what difference does that make we keep throwing money at this problem that won't go away is the preservation of a work of art really central to our mission as unitary universities and if this building is so noteworthy can't some of the cost of repair be borne by others in the community these are all legitimate questions and they should not be and they have not been ignored or downplayed first Unitarian Society does have limited resources problems with the roof have persisted we do have alternatives and personally I have found process of addressing these questions frustrating at times but I do hope that the whole process will end with greater clarity about who we are and where our responsibility lies who we are meant to serve now as Unitarian Universalists we have long upheld the right of individuals to raise questions to express our doubts about any and all religious propositions and moral imperatives so why should we make an exception with respect to a roof when Harvey Cox observed that members of the human species are naturally inquisitive we recognize ourselves our faith tradition in that characterization we are quintessential questioners so our own faith is then much more hospitable toward and supportive of this fundamental human attribute than our more conservative and doctrinal counterparts to us it seems rather foolish that any religion would try to quell this predilection that has proven so strong and so enduring so accordingly Robert Bella suggests that churches today should try to provide this favorable environment for people to work out their own solutions to questions of the sacred without imposing a pre fabricated set of answers absolutely that is just who we are and that is just what we are about and if through your own questioning and your own process of discernment you decide that for you Jesus is the answer we're gonna support that discovery but that is a far cry from issuing a community declaration that Jesus is the only and exclusive answer to life's most vital existential questions I sometimes get the feeling that non-believers atheists agnostics and their ilk who have rebelled against all these immutable truths proclaimed by institutional religion I get the feeling that they are more disturbed by the church's habits of suppression than by any of the truth claims that they actually make in his book breaking the spell the cognitive scientist and philosopher Daniel Dennett complains that people of all religious persuasions have been taught that asking such questions about matters like God or the afterlife that is somehow demeaning to their faith he continues saying if I were gonna design a phony religion I would surely include a version of this gem but I'd have to say it with a straight face if anyone ever raises questions or objections about our religion that you cannot answer that person is almost certainly safe in fact the more reasonable that person is the more eager they are to engage you in an open-minded congenial discussion the more you can be sure that you are talking to Satan in disguise turn away do not listen it's just a trap now there are of course those hardcore unbelievers who can be just as dogmatic in their pronouncements as any fundamentalist Christian and they're so eager to point out all the patent absurdities all the incorrigibility of religion that any further questioning about well do they have anything good to offer is beside the point Daniel Dennett to his credit does not fit that particular description whether one is conventionally religious or has moved out of the religious orbit entirely holding on to your convictions firmly but lightly always retaining a sense of curiosity this will allow us to continue with our own spiritual growth and enable us to engage in meaningful conversations across our religious differences the questions that gave rise to the world's great religions their perennial questions they don't go away definitive answers have always remained elusive and the proper response to those questions is not arrogance it's humility recently I ran across an interview with Jack Miles Jack Miles is the author of many notable books including God a biography and Christ a crisis in the life of God he is winner of the Pulitzer Prize as well as Guggenheim and MacArthur fellowships he's recently retired from the faculty of the University of California at Irvine he's a birthright Roman Catholic and Miles spent 10 years as a Jesuit seminarian before embarking on a secular career at age 75 Miles has now returned to his religious roots renewed his relationship with the Roman Catholic Church but he brings to his present involvement a new set of eyes a different perspective he says that he appreciates the church's rituals which he likens to play I can attend a religious service he says in which people are burning incense ringing bells and marching and all these funny looking costumes and I can think to myself this is ridiculous but then all play is ridiculous after 40 plus years opposing serious questions about religion his own and other people's Miles is not going to retreat from that practice his commitment to evidentiary truth remains solid he has no interest in defending doctrine doctrines that require a willing suspension of disbelief but he does believe that his religion offers other compensations and that's why he sticks with it not belief he says but religious practice that gives me a type of closure he writes not by answering my questions but by enriching my life even as some questions can never be answered and if I die feeling that I've come to the end of some kind of game I won't feel cheated but rather confirmed maybe we'll see perhaps this isn't the most comfortable way to live in this state of suspense about the imponderables questions like why I am why am I alive at all where did I come from where am I going why must so much of the world live in a state of misery and violence how should I conduct my life in a world that is changing so rapidly that is so confusing but while it may not be the easiest way to live and a great many people are not up to the task it is the most honest way to live and that honesty that willingness to address these kind of questions and to acknowledge our own limited understanding that is what we need if we are going to have meaningful conversations with people of other religious persuasions King's College philosopher William Irwin suggests that there really should be no barriers to religious dialogue as long as the parties engage with each other in curiosity the spirit of curiosity in fact he writes the open-minded search for truth can unite believers and non-believers because we do generally respect those who will approach these questions honestly and with an open mind let's hope that's the case and for Irwin this does not mean being so radically open so empty of conviction that our brains fall out which is a charge that sometimes leveled at Unitary Universalists and in fact it is not arrogant it is not presumptuous to try to convince other people of the worthiness of our own convictions as long as we are equally willing to open ourselves to their convictions we all exist along a continuum of doubt Irwin writes and so what is important is the common ground of the question as we approach the high holy days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur it's important to note that while dogmatic fates have typically frowned on all those impertinent people that asked probing hard questions that has hardly ever been true of Judaism indeed Rabbi Hillel the celebrated first century BCE wisdom teacher he was an avid questioner and he required his students to address three basic questions think about them for themselves and you're probably familiar with Hillel's three questions if I am not for myself who will be forming if I am only for myself who am I if not now when if Jews and Unitary Universalists have enjoyed cordial relationships throughout the centuries it isn't simply because of our common objection to the doctrine of the Trinity it's also because both of these traditions place significant emphasis on the asking of important questions which is true for other disciplines as well science to be sure and also journalism one might say that the art of asking timely precise questions is absolutely central to the journalistic enterprise and for this reason it is to me rather troubling that in the past year those who have been charged with this crucial task have been declared by the current administration enemies of the state increasingly the news media are being told that only questions acceptable to those in power will be permitted and certainly no questions that would cause discomfort or embarrassment fake news that's the term now being used to describe answers to questions that raise the ruling party's hackles and this allows them fake news to be dismissed out of hand and the intent here it seems is to discredit the free press entirely claiming that only news reported through official channels is trustworthy what we're moving toward here is the American equivalent of Russia's Pravda and regrettably a third of American adults agree that the media has no right to question the current administration's agenda or its performance writing recently in the Atlantic Kurt Anderson reflects on this development saying Donald Trump's genius was to exploit the spectic the skeptical disillusionment with politics oh there's too much equivocating oh democracy is all a big charade but then he also pandered to Americans magical thinking about national greatness extreme credulity is the fraternal twin of extreme skepticism Anderson says I will give you everything Trump actually said that during the election campaign and it has all worked for him Anderson says because so many Americans are eager to believe almost any claim no matter how implausible as long as it jibes with their personal opinions and fantasies now when honest inquiry is declared by a religion to be sinful it leads oftentimes to persecution as it did with Galileo Galilei in Renaissance Italy and as it did with Anne Hutcheson Hutcheson in the Puritan colonies and when a government is able to determine what sort of questions are permissible it is edging toward authoritarianism the celebrated journalist and social critic Walter Lippmann warned of this possibility a century ago saying that our liberty is contingent upon the measures we take to protect and to increase the veracity of the information upon which we act and those measures always begin with the capacity and the courage to ask the difficult questions so back to where we began the discussion the landmark roof I've listened to all the questions I've asked a few questions myself and I am satisfied that they have all been addressed openly and honestly if not completely and I also know that whatever the congregation decides about that roof an hour or so from now ten months from now it will not be my problem but for today I would have you know that fostering a just and loving community is very important to me and with respect to the environment it's very important to me that we are part of the solution and not the problem but I also believe in beauty in cultivating beauty and creating beauty and despite his many shortcomings Frank Lloyd Wright did have this eye for beauty and he did understand that an appreciation for it can enhance our lives immeasurably so on the rear balcony of the landmark auditorium facing the prow this ancient epigram is spelled out in gold leaf at mr. Wright's direction many of you are familiar with it do you have a loaf of bread break the loaf in two give half for some flowers of the narcissist for bread feeds the body indeed but the flowers feed the soul what to do about the roof many questions later you have my answer blessed be now as we listen to another selection from Beethoven we will be receiving the offering and for the second week a portion of your gifts will be shared with G safe whose work you can read about in your order of service we gather each week as a community of memory and a community of hope and to this time and place we bring our whole and occasionally our broken selves we carry with us the joys and sorrows of the recent past seeking here a place where they might be received and celebrated and shared there was an entry in our cares of the congregation book that lives outside the middle doors in the commons and Paul Schecter writes that I would like to keep my uncle Reverend Douglas strong and ordained you you minister and a friend of mine in our thoughts today Doug lost his cheerful white husky in an accident recently and those of us who have had these canine companions or feline companions know how much that hurts so our warm thoughts to Doug and Paul and family in addition to that sorrow just mentioned we would also acknowledge any that were unspoken that remain among us today as a community of caring and concern we hold those in our hearts as well let us sit silently for just a moment or two in the spirit of empathy and hope and so by virtue of our brief time together today may our burdens be lightened and our joys expanded and now I invite you to turn to our closing hymn and yes we will only sing verses 1 and 4 and so through all of our questing and all of our questioning we do receive fragments of holiness glimpses of eternity brief moments of insight let us gather them up for the precious gifts that they are and renewed by their grace move with a sure step into the unknown please be seated for the post


Module 4, child developmental psychosexual stages. Child developmental psychosexual stages actually proposed by the segment fright who said that the personality develops in the early childhood and the experiences of the childhood can played an important role in the development of the personality of the children. A fright proposed that psychological development in the early childhood are based on the five psychosexual stages that are named as oral stage, anal stage, phallic stage, latency period and then the genital period. During each stage child has to be need to pass through successively to the second stage if the child is stuck on any stage that's mean that the conflict has been raised there and the child will fixated during that stage throughout his or her life. So when we talked about the fright psychosexual stages we need to be go one by one for example in the stage one that has named as oral stage that is in between birth and the one year fright state said that the child has get the gratification during that stage by sucking behavior of our example through breast or through bottle if the child need of that is not satisfied that's mean that the child will stuck in that stage. And when the child is stuck in the stage then this conflict in his adult life manifests in form of different neurological disorders say smoking start or over eating start then this kind of conflicts will be reflected in his later life. Then the anal stage that is in between one to three years is can the toddler or pre-schoolers they are started to having the enjoyment by releasing or holding the urine and feces. So if the child toilet training has not been performed adequately during that time period or the parents are very much pushing and having a punishment attitude towards the child that's mean or that will be manifest in the later stages in a form of orderliness, cleanliness or messiness. Then the phallic stage that is in between three to six years or the pre-schoolers they started to take play from their genital stimulation. Pride proposed that during that time period the children has experience to sort of complexes in regard to their gender. For example what the boy he said that the boys experiences or deepest complex and the female experiences the electro complex. What these complexes are, these complexes are that the boy he or she started to get feel attracted towards the mother and the girl she will be ready to feel some attraction towards her father. But the sexual stimulation or their desires because that is not morally acceptable so that's why they try to depress it and then they adopt behaviors which are socially approved. At the same time period the moral standards then the latency period that is in between the six and the eleven years that goes down or the child he or she will started to acquire new social skills and he or she started to develop world outside the family and then the genital stage which comes during the adolescence, adolescence time period which comes in the birth, sexual impulses which are repressed in the phallic stage, they reappear again and during that time the child will try to develop the healthy relationship with the opposite sex and if they overcome this stage comfortably then the marital relationships that are successful in the adulthood will develop when we are trying to understand these psychosexual stages what we need to be understand that is the concept of libido which is proposed by fried he said that that every individual have a sexual desires in his or her life which he or she needs to be fulfilled so when the child is in his or her oral stage at that time he is trying to gratify his sexual desires through his mouth okay so when the child is at his or her anal stage at that time the child is trying to gratify his sexual desires through anal region so that's mean that that sexual desire is the main motive of one's life to live that is the driving force which has been proposed by the fried and that is the concept for which the fight has been criticized widely that sexual desires are not the only motivation for anyone to stay healthy or to want to be live in this world but even that is the criticism still pride psychosexual stages has a greater influence on the on the psychology