Our next speaker will be Dr. Erin DiMartino. Dr. DiMartino is a pulmonary and critical care fellow at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Erin received her undergraduate degree at Williams College, her MD from Dartmouth's Geisel School of Medicine, and then stayed out of Dartmouth to train in her residency before going to the Mayo Clinic for fellowship training in pulmonary and critical care. She completed her McLean Center fellowship two years ago in 2015-16. Erin's primary research interests are in clinical medical ethics with a focus on advanced care planning, surrogate decision-making, and health policy. Erin led a group of scholars from the University of Chicago, Harvard, and the Mayo Clinic to write a powerful paper on healthcare surrogate laws, a paper published this past April in the New England Journal of Medicine. Today, Dr. DiMartino will talk to us about state-to-state variations in healthcare surrogate laws. Please join me in giving a warm reception to Dr. Erin DiMartino. Thank you, Dr. Sealer. It's quite an honor to be presenting in this illustrious panel. I have no financial conflicts of interest. I'll disclose from the beginning that my training is as an intensivist and not as an attorney, and so I apologize in advance to the attorneys in the crowd. I have a newfound appreciation for the work that you do, but I've had quite a legal education through the course of this project. Today we're going to be discussing deciding for others. We'll start with some background information about decisional incapacity and then move on to a legislative timeline. We'll discuss the study that we conducted, its methodology, our findings, some conclusions, and also end with some ideas of what we're working on currently in future projects. Decisional incapacity is a highly prevalent condition. This is due in part to our current medical climate in which we have many life-sustaining technologies available to us, say, in intensive care units that is potentiating such a milieu in which we are relying on deciding for others as surrogate decision makers. Likewise, the aging population and its attendant morbidities such as dementia. We know that decisions for others are legislated at the state level and that every state has a unique set of laws governing the situations and various legal mechanisms to appoint decision makers. But while the legal literature alludes to the fact that there's variation amongst these statues, there's never been a systematic analysis of the differences and similarities. So how did we get here? Starting back in the 1960s with the Civil Rights Movement and an expression of self-determination were the first living wills. And through the 1970s and into the early 1990s, waves of legislation in different state legislatures passed living well legislation. Likewise, durable powers of attorney, a concept that originated in the UK in property law, weren't appropriated for use within the healthcare arena until the 1980s. And by 1997, each state also had a statute recognizing durable powers of attorney for health care. The problem here, though, is that advanced directive completion rates still hover around 20 to 30% in American adults. And so there remains a substantial gap. So the states recognizing this gap began to pass default surrogate statutes. And by this, I mean a statute where an individual who wasn't prospectively identified by the patient is vested with authority by the state to make medical decisions for the patient when that patient loses decisional capacity. I hear superimposed three seminal court cases that I think inspired a lot of the legislation in that they involved young people without advanced directives who relied on surrogate decision makers, default surrogates to make decisions about life sustaining therapies. Moving on, our study, our aim, was to essentially describe the legislative landscape as it stands today in 2016-17. We wanted to describe what states put forth as criteria for appropriateness to serve, or an individual to serve as a decision maker, and also the mechanisms for appointing default surrogates, whether there is a hierarchical system put forth by the state as there is in many states that have default surrogate statutes, and also, is there a challenge provision, a way of circumventing the person who is the default surrogate if there's some indication that they may not be the most appropriate decision maker? We also were interested in, say, whether a number of different individuals who are potential surrogates, how do you resolve conflicts to the states address these in the statutes? In order to answer these questions, three reviewers went through using two legal databases. We did parallel searches and extracted data from the 50 states in the District of Columbia and entered them into a shared spreadsheet. We used common coding when interpretive discrepancies arose. We adjudicated those amongst the entire author panel, and sometimes we actually even went back to legislative committee session notes to get some context for the language. Likewise, if there was a relevant omission, we would go in search of whether there was pending legislation. The statutes reviewed were between November of 2015 and November of 2016. One of the first things we noticed as we began to read through these statutes were these attributes that were required of decision makers. So while something like adulthood was a relatively common requirement, there were other less common requirements or things that may not be particularly well described like availability or willingness to act, and the trope of special care and concern actually came up quite a bit in the statutes as well. I would backtrack even to adulthood. While this looks somewhat universal, it's defined differently in the different states. Some states drew that line at 18 years, some at 19 years, some at 21 years, and eight states, including Illinois, provided a pathway by which an emancipated minor could in very specific circumstances potentially be considered as an adult and therefore potentially step into this role. Likewise, this ability to engage in complex decision making is a very challenging thing to assess in a decision maker when you consider the fact that the decision maker is not the physician's patient. So I've mentioned the presence of these default surrogate hierarchies being the most common mechanism for appointing default surrogates, usually following this pattern, a hierarchical pattern by order of kinship, essentially, of spouse, child, parent, sibling, and then proceeding to more distant relatives. This map depicts the variation in mechanisms for appointing default surrogates. Starting with the white and the polka dot states, these are states that are essentially silent on the topic of default surrogates and whether or not a default surrogate can make general medical decisions. These states that are depicted with polka dots actually do have default surrogate statutes but only for very narrow circumstances like research authorization, not general medical decision making. The next color of state, the kind of grayish blue state like Michigan, so those are states that have default surrogate statutes but don't prescribe any kind of hierarchical order. States like Tennessee and Arkansas, the next gradation of color, those are states that have a suggested order but you do not need to follow this suggested priority order. When we move on to states like Maine, there is a mandatory priority order or hierarchy, default surrogate ladder, whatever terminology you want to use. However, there's a carve out. You can circumvent and challenge the authority of that individual without having to go to court. The navy blue states or the darkest blue are states in which in order to challenge the authority of the person who's named through the statute, you actually do need to go to court and the states that have the stripes, again, you would need to challenge the authority of that individual named through the statute by going to court, but their authority really is only for decisions regarding withdrawing or withholding life sustaining therapies. Let's take a closer look at the ladders themselves. So the median number of rungs, if you will, in these ladders is five and the range is four to ten. You'll see that toward the left side of the screen, there's harmonization essentially. Most of the beginning rungs are very similar to each other, but as we move toward the right of the screen, both the length of the ladder and also the individuals named to the lower rungs of the ladder are quite variable. When we consider the unrepresented patient, there is again variability with some statutes recognizing the authority of say an institutional mechanism as the lowest rung of their ladder, like a hospital ethics committee, in making decisions for those patients, whereas other states forbid anybody for making default surrogate decisions on behalf of an individual who is not their blood relative or related by marriage. Additionally, states may provide for very specific circumstances like an incapacitated nun or monk deferring to their religious superior and for incapacitated prisoners with Mississippi suggesting that the warden step into the role of decision maker and Vermont expressly forbidding the exact same circumstance. Conflicts do arise between individuals who are named say to the same rung of the ladder, the multiple adult children of an incapacitated parent. How do states suggest that these conflicts be addressed? Of the states, the 22 states that suggested that legislated a solution to these issues, usually the advice was majority rule. However, seven states did require consensus, and West Virginia allows the provider to select among the available surrogates the person that the provider believes is the best surrogate decision maker, which I can only imagine would lead to very awkward family meetings. So we now know why nobody had ever done this research before. It was very complex and arduous. It took a lot of meticulous work from a number of very committed individuals, our collaborators. Relevant language was scattered upon multiple statutes, maybe more than a dozen statutes we'd have to search for each state. They were hidden under all sorts of different areas of the law. Some states would provide pages of description, very precise, whereas others were vague, and so trying to compare those two things and find apples to compare with apples was also a challenge. And our interpretations at times could come down to grammar, like a semicolon. I did want to put in a plug for our interactive graphic that we created with the New England Journal Graphic Design Team where you can find the more granular data for each state in the Union, and you can compare neighboring states or distant states. And this is available on their website. So in spite of widely held ethical principles about surrogate decision making, there's actually a startling lack of uniformity in terms of required attributes, mechanisms for appointment, and challenge provisions. And we know that decisions are approached very differently in jurisdictions that may share a border. So this leads us to wonder whether these reflect true differences in beliefs, and also I would argue that most practicing physicians are unaware of the intricacies of the laws within their own jurisdiction. And so how much significance do these exacting statutes have at the bedside? How frequently are the ladders invoked, and how frequently are the extrajudicial challenges and conflict resolution statutes referred to? We do believe that these differences may hinder efforts to implement policies and conduct research in surrogate decision making and provide excellent care to some of our most vulnerable patients at the end of their lives, and at other times in which they lack decisional capacity. Moving forward, we have several ongoing projects including some more specific considerations for physicians of incapacitated patients, conscientious objection, whether an assisted suicide or whether withdrawing or with the holding life sustaining therapy is considered assisted suicide, protection from litigation, et cetera, and whether a physician can step into the role of default surrogate. Likewise, we have an interest in mental health surrogacy laws, and we saw this as we were doing our sweeps through the statutes. And finally, pregnancy is an exception to self-determination, meaning that advanced directive laws and also decisions about withdrawing and withholding life sustaining therapies are considerably more stringent in the pregnant population and there is a tremendous amount of interesting and rich language there that we need to delve into. I'd like to thank my collaborators and acknowledge this rich group of individuals who have contributed to the work thus far. Thank you. Bob Taylor, no longer at the Ohio State University now at Care Dimensions Hospice in Boston. So, you probably know, Jerry Menikoff wrote a paper on this topic with Mark Siegler and others in the 90s, I mean, or maybe not. So, he was an attorney who became an ethicist and also a physician. He wrote an article analogizing health surrogacy laws to the hierarchy of inheritance for patients who died in test state with no estate or no well. And he made the argument that common law is the guide that we should follow and that, you know, that was kind of a uniform perspective. What you're arguing is the uniformity is not as perhaps as, it's not as uniform as we would have been left to be led to believe. But the other issue is that perhaps the codification of these laws distorts some of the historical common law approaches to this. But I guess my question is we need to have some mechanism for making decisions who don't have living wills because, or powers of attorney because I don't think we'll ever end up 100%. So, and in the U.S., these laws are state by state. So, you know, expecting uniformity is probably not realistic. It's a reasonable aspiration. So I guess my question is, is your critique to inform us of the variation or is it to suggest that we should be trying to create a uniform approach nationally? That's a very interesting question and I agree that pragmatically a uniform approach is not going to be a solution that we're likely to see at any point in the near future. I would also put to the audience the question of whether these types of decisions are best handled in legislatures with individuals who don't have bedside experience and have had the privilege of working in two states, New Hampshire which now has a 10-rung-long ladder that it didn't have when I was at Dartmouth and Minnesota, which also doesn't have a default surrogate statute right now. You might think that we are practicing in absolute mayhem and actually the Commonwealth of Massachusetts is another example here. And yet somehow there is a beautiful synergy that often comes together amongst the multiple individuals who in other states would occupy various priority levels of these ladders and maybe it's easier for us to identify this special care and concern that we see a lot of lawmakers want to have manifest at the bedside and that as providers we want to have manifest a reasonable understanding of what certain wishes have been in their lifetime, etc. So I agree that pushing for uniformity is both unrealistic and maybe not palatable because maybe the values really are different in Mississippi than they are in Vermont and I'm not sure that we should try to push the same approach for everybody but I also worry about over-legislating these very complicated decisions. Hi Erin, Dave Chulgin from Loma Linda. Thank you very much for the talk and as you pointed out kind of building on the last question when you see this variation especially in adjacent jurisdictions there's a temptation to look for a way to make it more uniform and to look for that method maybe at the federal level and so as a VA at this point there is of course VA ethics policy kind of in a pseudo administrative law sense that contains a priority of surrogate decision makers contains conflict resolution ideals and mechanisms for that I was just curious if you had looked at that and if you did, if there was a consideration of whether that represented kind of the larger system and maybe a base for some degree of uniformity. I have reviewed the VA handbook or policy handbook that sets forth a priority order and talks about conflict resolution and that's an interesting idea of thinking of it is the system that best spans all of the different jurisdictions as we care for patients through the VA system throughout the country. Yes, I think it's a good representative policy and I also I guess to address in part the question of the previous question our feeling was that were there to be legislation in each state that our suggestion would be to have a priority order but also these rich conflict resolution possibilities and ways of challenging authority outside of the court system so that poor individuals who find themselves at the bedside don't have to then truck off to court and challenge the authority of the default surrogate. Hi, Ken Isersen from Arizona when I'm not in Antarctica. Many years ago I was lucky enough to be part of a small group in Arizona red state that wrote the advanced directive law and yes she's going ah because we were the first one to write the simplified surrogate list that most states have copied. Our whole law for advanced directives is eight pages and by intent is easily understandable by anybody with an eighth grade reading level but I wanted to point out that the special care and concern I advanced that and the we had two legislators on our committee and they just laughed and I said wait wait because they knew our gay marriages gay relationships were recognized anywhere for a gay partner and they said well we can't get that and I said wait wait wait how about the grandparents you know how about the nephew who is oh yeah and that's how they presented it when they got in front of the legislature in the two houses there was one dissenting vote and that was it and that's how we sold it but physicians we also added and they said oh yeah but they're going to throw that out but all of this was from the experience of our very active ethics committee and we could just give them examples where it was all necessary and it was all all passed I will say that the stat you can tell you can feel the touch of physicians and some of these statutes and in others it's notably absent well thank you for your work thank you


Hi there, this is Krish Raj from Bitescout and in this video, we will be going to learn about one of the T-SQL execution plan operator called NETRID loop. Well, as a developer or as a DBA, we all are familiar with the types of join that SQL server has provided, using which we can retrieve data from two or more tables based on logical relationship between them. SQL server employs four type of physical join operation to carry out the logical join operation and those are nested loop join, hash join, merge join and from SQL server 2017, we have a new join called adaptive join. So what is nested loop and how this physical operator works? Well, as the name implies, it is a nested loop which means it's a loop inside a loop which is used to join records from two tables. A nested loop join uses one join input as the outer input table and the other as the inner input table. So think of this way, say if we have a table A and table B then what nested loop does is it loops through the outer table which is table A, picking up a record row by row and for each record in table A it loops through the inner table table B looking for a matching rows. So nested loop supports almost all types of join except right join and full outer join. Nested loop joins are highly effective if the outer input table has smaller number of records and the inner input table has larger records but indexed records. Now let's see this join in action. All right, so for this demo, we will start off with a query that joins the cells order header table with cells order detail on cells order ID column. Now let's execute this query and looking at the execution plan in this tab. So here we can see that our query is using a nested loop join. Now in terms of selection of the nested loop outer versus inner our outer selection is cells order header table and our inner selection is cells order detail table. Okay, so now when I whore over this operator, you can see that the actual number of rows is 8 which is coming out of this clustered index 6 and when I whore over this operator, you can see that here the actual number of rows is 10. So basically we are pulling just a few records from the cells order header table and then using the index on cells order detail table to find out the matching rows. Now if we go into the message tab here you can see that to retrieve the matching rows query optimizer scans the cells order detail table 8 times. So an index nested loop performs better than a merge join or has joined if a less number of records are involved. A nested loop join can be fast because it uses to take a small set of data and compare it quickly to a second set of data. All right, now in the next video we'll be going to learn about the next physical operator called merge join. So stay tuned with us.


28 Tuesday morning the sixth of my happiness. My master had said to Mrs. Dukes that he should not rise till eight or nine, as he had sat up all the night before. But it seems, my lady, knowing he usually rose about six, got up soon after that hour, raised her woman and her nephew, having a whimsical scheme in her head to try to find whether we were in bed together. And about half an hour after six she rapped at our chamber door. My master was waked at the noise and asked, Who was there? On the door, said she, Open at this minute. I said, clinging about his neck, Dear, dear sir, pray, pray, don't, oh, save me, save me. Don't fear, Pamela, said he, The woman's mad, I believe. But he called out, Who are you? What do you want? You know my voice well enough, said she, I will come in. Pray, sir, said I, Don't let her lady ship in. Don't be frightened, my dear, said he, She thinks we are not married, and are afraid to be found a bed together. I'll let her in, but she shan't come near, my dearest. So he slipped out a bed and putting on some of his clothes and gown and slippers. He said, What bold body dare disturb my repose thus, and open the door. In rush she, I'll see your wickedness, said she, I will. In vain shall you think to hide it from me. What should I hide? said he. How dare you set a foot into my house, after the usage I have received from you. I had covered myself over head and ears, and trembled every joint. He looked and spied her woman and kinsman in the room. She crying out, Bear witness, Jackie, bear witness. Beck, the creature is now in his bed. And not seeing the young gentleman before, who was at the feet of the bed, he said, How now, sir? What's your business in this apartment? Begone this moment. And he went away directly. Beck, said my lady, you see the creature is in his bed. I do, madam, answered she. My master came to me and said, Hey, look, Beck, and bear witness, here is my Pamela. My dear angel, my lovely creature, don't be afraid. Look up and see how frantically this woman of quality behaves. At that I just peeped and saw my lady, who could not bear this coming to me. And she said, Wicked abandoned wretch. Why, oh brother, to brave me thus, I'll tear the creature out of bed before your face, and expose you both as you do serve. At that he took her in his arms, as if she had been nothing, and carrying her out of the room. She cried, Beck, Beck, help me, Beck, the wretch is going to fling me down the stairs. Her woman ran to him and said, Good sir, for heaven's sake, do no violence to my lady. Her ladyship has been ill all night. She sat her down in the chamber she lay in, and she could not speak for passion. Take care of your lady, said he, and when she has rendered herself more worthy of my attention I'll see her, till then at her peril and yours too, come not near my apartment. And so he came to me, and with all the sweet soothing words in the world, pacified my fears and gave me leave to go right in my closet, as soon as my fright was over, and to stay there till things were more calm. And so he dressed himself and went out of the chamber, permitting me at my desire to fasten the door after him. At breakfast time my master tapped at the door, and I said, Who's there? I, my dearest, said he, Oh, then replied I, I will open it with pleasure. I had written on a good deal, but I put it by when I ran to the door. I would have locked it again when he was in, but he said, Am not I here? Don't be afraid, said he. Will you come down to breakfast, my love? Oh, no, dear sir, said I, Be pleased to excuse me, said he. I cannot bear the look of it, that the mistress of my house should breakfast in her closet, as if she durst not come down, and I at home. Oh, dearest sir, replied I, Pray pass that over, for my sake, and don't let my presence aggravate your sister, for a kind punctilio. Then my dear, said he, I will breakfast with you here. No, pray, dear sir, answered I, breakfast with your sister. That, my dear, replied he, will too much gratify her pride, and look like a slight to you. Dear sir, said I, Your goodness is too great, for me to want punctilio's proofs of it. Pray oblige her ladyship. She is your guest surely, sir. You may be freezed with your dutiful wife. She is a strange woman, said he, how I pity her. She has thrown herself into a violent fit of the colic, through passion, and is but now, her woman says, a little easier.  No, replied he, I love her too well. I sat her down in the apartment she had chosen, and she but now decides to see me, and that I will breakfast with her, or refuse to touch anything. But if my dearest pleases, I will insist it shall be with you at the same time. Oh, no, no, dear sir, said I, I should not forgive myself if I did. I would, on my knees, beg her ladyship's goodness to me. Now I am in your presence, though I thought I ought to carry it a little stiff when you were absent. For the sake of the honour you have done me. And, dear sir, if my deepest humility will please, permit me to shoo it. You shall do nothing, returned he, unworthy of my wife, to please the proud woman. But I will, however, permit you to breakfast by yourself this once, as I have not seen her since I have used her in so barbarous a manner. As I understand, she exclaims I have, and as she will not eat anything unless I give her my company. So he saluted me, and withdrew, and I locked the door after him again for fear. Mrs. Duke soon after rapped at the door. Who's there? said I. Only I, madam. So I opened the door. Tis a sad thing, madam, said she. You should be so much afraid in your own house. She brought me some chocolate and toast, and I asked her about my ladys' behaviour. She said she would not suffer anybody to attend but her woman, because she would not be heard what she had to say. But she believed, she said, her master was very angry with the young Lord, as she called her kinsman. For, as she passed by the door, she heard him say in a high tone, I hope, sir, you did not forget what belongs to the character you assume, or to that effect. About one o'clock my master came up again, and he said, Will you come down to dinner, Pamela, when I send for you? Whatever you command, sir, I must do. But my lady won't desire to see me, no matter whether she will or no. But I will not suffer, that she shall prescribe her insolent will to my wife, and in your own house, too. I will, by my tenderness to you, mortify her pride, and it cannot be done so well as to face her.  I will make my lady but more inveterate. But, at he, I have told her we are married. She is out of all patience about it, and yet pretends not to believe it. Upon that I tell her, then she shall have it her own way, and that I am not. And what has she to do with it, either way? She has scolded and begged, commanded and prayed, blessed me and cursed me, by turns, twenty times in these few hours. And I have sometimes soothed her, sometimes raged, and at last left her, and took a turn in the garden for an hour to compose myself. Because you should not see how the foolish woman has ruffled me. And just now I came out, seeing her coming in. Just as he has said so, I cried, Oh, my lady, my lady! For I heard her voice in the chamber, saying, Brother, Brother, one word with you, stopping in sight of the cloth at where I was. He stepped out, and she went up to the window that looks towards the garden, and said, Meanful that I am, to follow you up and down the house in this manner, though I am shunned and avoided by you. You a brother, you a barbarian, is it possible that we could be born of one mother?  Is it not surprising that you should take the liberty with me, that the dear mother you have named never gave you an example for to any of her relations? Is it not sufficient that I was insolently taken to task by you in your letters? But my retirements must be invaded, my house insulted, and if I have one person dearer to me than another, that that person must be singled out for an object of your violence? Hey, said she, that one person is the thing. But though I come with a resolution to be temperate, and to expostulate with you on your avoiding me so unkindly, yet cannot I have patience to look upon that bed in which I was born, and to be made the guilty scene of your wickedness with such a— Hush, said he, I charge you, call not the dear girl by any name unworthy of her. You know not, as I told you, her excellence. And I desire you'll not repeat the freedoms you have taken below. She sat with her foot and said, God give me patience.  Be silent, said he, once more, I charge you, you know not the innocence you abuse so freely. I ought not, neither will I bear it. She sat down and fanned herself and burst into tears, and such sobs of grief or rather passion that grieve me to hear, and I sat and trembled sadly. He walked about the room in great anger, and at last said, Let me ask you, Lady Davies, why am I thus insolently to be called to account by you? Am I not independent? Am I not of age? Am I not at liberty to please myself? Would to God that instead of a woman and my sister any man breathing had dared, whatever were his relation under that of a father, to give himself half the ears you have done? Why did you not send on this accursed errand, you Lord? Who could write me such a letter as no gentleman should write, nor any gentleman tamely receive? He should have seen the difference. We all know, said she, that since your Italian jewel you have commenced a bravo, and all your ears breathe the strongly of the manslayer as of the libertine. This, said he, I will bear, for I have no reason to be ashamed of that jewel, nor the course of it, since it was to save a friend. And because it is levelled at myself only, but suffer not your tongue to take to greater liberty with my Pamela.  If I bear this, said she, I can bear anything. Oh, the little strumpet! He interrupted her then, and said rothfully, Begone, rageful woman! Begone this moment from my presence! Leave my house this instant.  She laid hold of the curtains off the window, and said, I will not go. You shall not force me from you thus ignominously in the wretches' hearing, and suffer her to triumph over me in your barbarous treatment of me. Not considering anything, I ran out of the closet, and threw myself at my dear master's feet, as he held her hand in order to lead her out. And I said, Dearest sir, let me beg that no act of unkindness for my sake pass between so worthy and so near relations. Dear, dear madam, said I, and clasped her knees. Pardon and excuse the unhappy course of all this evil. On my knees I beg you, ladyship, to receive me to your grace and favour, and you shall find me incapable of any triumph but in your ladyship's goodness to me. Creature, said she, art thou to beg an excuse for me? Art thou to implore my forgiveness? Is it to thee I am to owe the favour that I am not cast headlong from my brother's presence?   And so he led me to my closet again, and there I sat and wept. Her woman came up, just as he had led me to my closet, and was returning to her lady, and she very humbly said, Excuse my intrusion, good sir, I hope I may come to my lady. Yes, Mrs Warden, said he, you may come in, and pray take your lady downstairs with you. For fear I should too much forget what belongs either to my sister or myself. I began to think, seeing her ladyship so outrageous with her brother, what a happy escape I had had the day before, though hardly enough used in conscience too, as I thought. Her woman begged her ladyship to walk down, and she said, Bec, seize thou that bed, that was the bed that I was born in, and yet that was the bed thou sourced, as well as I, the wicked Pamela in, this morning, and this brother of mine just risen from her. True, said he, you both saw it, and it is my pride that you could see it. Tis my bridal bed, and tis abominable that the happiness on you before you came hither should be so barbarously interrupted. Swear to me, but thou bold wretch, said she, Swear to me that Pamela Andrews is really and truly thy lawful wife, without sham, without deceit, without double meaning, and I know what I have to say. I'll humour you for once, said he, and then swore a solemn oath that I was. And said he, did I not tell you so at first?  Provoke me not too much, said he, for if I should as much forget myself as you have done you'd have no more of a brother in me than I have a sister in you. Who married you, said she, tell me that. Was it not a broken attorney in a parson's habit? Tell me true, in the wenches' hearing. When she's undeceived she'll know how to behave herself better. Thank God, sort I, it is not so. No, said he, and I'll tell you, that I bless God I aboard that project before it was brought to bear. And Mr. Williams married us. Nay then, said she, but answer me another question or two. I beseech you, who gave her away? Parson Peters, said he, where was the ceremony performed? In my little chapel, which you may see, as it was put in order on purpose. Now, said she, I begin to fear there is something in it. But who was present, said she. Me things, replied he, I look like a fine puppy, to suffer myself to be thus interrogated by an insolent sister. But if you must know, Mrs. Dukes was present. O, the procurus, said she, but nobody else? Yes, said he, all my heart and soul. Wretch, said she, and what would thy father and mother have said had they lived to this day? Their consents, replied he, I should have thought at my duty to ask, but not yours, madam. Suppose, said she, I had married my father's groom, what would you have said to that? I could not have behaved worse, replied he, than you have done. And would you not have thought, she said, I deserved it? She said, does your pride let you see no difference in the case you put? None at all, said she. Where can the difference be between a beggar's son married by a lady or a beggar's daughter made a gentleman's wife? Then I'll tell you, replied he, the difference is a man ennobles the woman he takes, be she who she will, and adopts her into his own rank, be at what it will. But a woman, though ever so nobly born, debases herself by a mean marriage, and descends from her own rank to his she stoops to. When the royal family of Stuart allied itself into the low family of Hyde, comparatively low, I mean, did anybody scruple to call the lady royal highness and duchess of York? And did anybody think her daughters, the late Queen Mary and Queen Anne, less royal for that? When the broken fortune-peer goes into the city to marry a rich tradesman's daughter, be he Duke or Earl, does not his consort immediately become ennobled by his choice, and who scruples to call her lady duchess or countess? But when a duchess or countess derages a sense to mingle with a person of obscure birth, does she not then degrade herself? And is she not effectively degraded? And will any duchess or countess rank with her? Lady Davies, do you not see a difference between my marrying my dear mother's beloved and deserving waiting-maid, with a million of excellencies about her, and such graces of mind and person as would adorn any distinction?  Oh, the wretch, said she, how he finds excuses to palliate his meanness. Again, said he, let me observe to you, Lady Davies, when a duke marries a private person, is he not still her head, by virtue of being her husband? But when a lady descends to marry a groom, is not the groom her head, being her husband, and does not this difference strike you? For what lady of quality ought to respect another, who has made so sordid a choice, and set a groom above her? For, would not that be to put that groom upon a par with themselves? Call this palliation or what you will, but if you see not the difference, you are blind, and a very unfit judge for yourself, much more unfit to be a censure of me. I'd have you, said she, publish your fine reasons to the world, and they will be sweet encouragements to all the young gentlemen who read them to cast themselves away on the servant wenches in their families. Not at all, Lady Davies, replied he, for if any young gentleman stays till he finds such a person as my Pamela, so enriched with the beauties of person and mind, and so fitted to adorn the degree she is raised to, he will stand as easily acquitted, as I shall be to all the world that sees her, except there may be many more Lady Davies than I apprehend can possibly be met with.  I am indeed, says he, if you presume to call her so. And why should I not, if I please? Who is there ought to contradict me? Whom have I hurt by it? Have I not an estate, free and independent? Am I likely to be beholden to you or any of my relations? And why, when I have a sufficiency in my own single hands, should I scruple to make a woman equally happy, who has all I want? For beauty, virtue, prudence, and generosity too, I will tell you, she has more than any lady I ever saw. Yes, Lady Davies, she has all these naturally. They are born with her, and a few years' education, with her genius, has done more for her than a whole life has done for others.  Well, said Lady Davies, whenever your passion suffers you to descend to witticism, it is almost over with you.  Well said, well said, my kind, well-mannered brother, said she, I shall, after this, very little interrupt your mutual happiness. I'll assure you. I thought you a gentleman once, and prided myself in my brother. But I say now with a burial service, ashes to ashes, and dirt to dirt. Hey! said he, Lady Davies, and there we must all end at last. You with all your pride, and I with my plentiful fortune, must come to it. And then where will be your distinction? Let me tell you, except you and I both mend our manners, though you have been no dualist, no libertine, as you call me. This amiable girl, whom your vanity and folly so much despise, will outsaurus both, infinitely outsaurus, and he who judges best will give the preference where due, without regard to birth or fortune. A greggious preacher, said she, what, my brother already turned puritan? See what marriage and repentance may bring a man to? I heartily congratulate this change. Well, said she, and came towards me, and I trembled to see her coming. But her brother followed to observe her, and I stood up at her approach, and she said, Give me thy hand, Mrs. Pamela, Mrs. Andrews, Mrs., what shall I call thee? Thou hast done wonders in a little time. Thou hast not only made a raker husband, but thou hast made a raker preacher. But take care, added she, after all, in ironical anger, and tap me on the neck. Take care that thy vanity begins not where his ends, and that thou callest not thyself my sister. She shall, I hope, Lady Davies, said he, when she can make as great a convert of you from pride as she has of me from libertinism. Mrs. Duke's just then came up, and said dinner was ready. Come, my Pamela, said my dear master, you decide to be excused from breakfasting with us, but I hope you'll give Lady Davies and me your company to dinner.   After I have told you I am married.  Merciful God, said she, give me patience, and hold her hand to her forehead. Tracer, dare, sir, said I, excuse me, don't vex my lady. Be silent, my dear love, said he. You see already what you have got by your sweet condescension. You have thrown yourself at her feet, and, insolent as she is, she has threatened to trample upon you. She'll ask you presently if she is to owe her excuse to your interposition, and yet nothing else can make her forgiven. Poor lady, she could not bear this. And as if she was discomposed, she ran to her poor grieve woman, and took hold of her hand, and said, lead me down, lead me down back. Let us instantly quit this house, this cursed house, that once I took pleasure in. Order the fellows to get ready, and I will never see it, nor its own no more, in a way she went downstairs in a great hurry, and the servants were ordered to make ready for their departure. I saw my master was troubled, and I went to him, and prayed to her, follow my lady down and pacify her. Tis her love to you. Poor woman said he, I am concerned for her, but I insist upon you coming down. Since things are gone so far, her pride will get new strength else, and we shall be all to begin again. Dearest, dear sir, said I, excuse my going down this once. Indeed, my dear, I won't, replied he. What, shall it be said that my sister shall scare my wife from my table, and I present? No, I have borne too much already, and so have you, and I charge you come down when I send for you. He departed saying these words, and I durst not dispute, for I saw he was determined, and there is as much majesty as goodness in him, as I have often had reason to observe, though never more than on the present occasion with his sister.  But her kinsmen and Mr. Colbrand had taken a turn together somewhere, and she would not come in, but sat fretting on a seat in the four-yard. With her woman by her, and at last said to one of the footmen, Do you, James, stay to attend my nephew, and we'll take the road we came. Mrs. Dukes went to her ladyship and said, Your ladyship will be pleased to stay dinner. It is just coming up on table. No, said she, I have enough of this house. I have indeed. But give my service to your master, and I wish him happier than he has made me. He had sent for me down, and I came, though unwillingly, and the cloth was laid in the parlor I had jumped out of. And there was my master walking about it. Mrs. Dukes came in and asked if he pleased to have dinner brought in, for my lady would not come in but decide her service, and wished him happier than he had made her. He, seeing her at the window when he went to that side of the room, all ready to go, stepped out to her and said, Lady Davis, if I thought you would not be hardened rather than softened by my civility, I would ask you to walk in, and at least let your kinsmen and servants dine before they go. She wept and turned a face from him to hide it. He took her hand and said, Come, sister, let me prevail upon you. Walk in. No, said she, don't ask me.  You do, said he, in a great deal more, I'll assure you, or else you'd not vex me as you do. Come, pray walk in. Don't ask me, said she. Her kinsmen just then returned. Why, madam, said he, your ladyship won't go till you have dined, I hope. No, Jackie, said she. I can't stay. I'm an intruder here, it seems.   Lay them aside, and never sister was dearer to a brother. Don't say such another word, said she. I beseech you, for I am too easy to forgive you anything for one kind word. You shall have one hundred, said he. Nay, ten thousand, if they will do, my dear sister.  John, said he, put up the horses. You are all as welcome to me, for all your ladys angry with me, as at any inn you can put up at. Come, Mr. H. said he. Lead your aunt in, for she won't permit that honour to me. It's quite overcame her, and she said, giving her brother her hand. Yes, I will, and you shall lead me anywhere, and kiss him. But don't think, she said, I can forgive you neither. And so he led her into the parlour where I was. But said she, why do you lead me to this wench? Tis my wife, my dear sister, and if you will not love her, yet don't forget common civilities to her, for your own sake. Pray, madam, said her kinsmen, since your brother is pleased to own his marriage, we must not forget common civilities. As Mr. B. says, and sir, added he, permit me to wish you joy. Thank you, sir, said he. And may I, said he, looking at me. Yes, sir, replied my master. So he saluted me, very complacently, and said, I vow to God, madam, I did not know this yesterday, and if I was guilty of a fault, I beg your pardon. My lady said, thou art a good-natured, foolish fellow, thou might have saved this nonsensical parade till I had given thee leave. Why, aunt, said he, if they are actually married, there's no help for it, and we must not make mischief between man and wife. But brother, said she, do you think I'll sit at a table with a creature? No contemptuous names, I beseech you, lady Davis.  She has no protector but me, and if you will permit her, she will always love and honor you. Indeed, indeed I will, madam, said I. I cannot. I won't sit down at table with her, said she. Pamela, I hope thou dost not think I will. Indeed, madam, said I, if your good brother will permit it, I will attend your chair all the time you dine, to shoe my veneration for your ladyship, as the sister of my kind protector. See, said he, her condition has not altered her, but I cannot permit in her a conduct unworthy of my wife, and I hope my sister will not expect it, neither. Let her leave the room, replied she, if I must stay. Indeed, you are out of the way, aunt, said her kinsman. That is not right, as things stand, said my master. No, madam, that must not be. But if it must be so, we'll have two tables. You and your nephew shall sit at one, and my wife and I at the other.  She seemed irresolute, and he placed her at the table, the first course, which was fish, being brought in. Where, said she to me, would as thou presumed to sit, would as have me give place to thee, too, wench? Come, come, said my master. I'll put that out of dispute, and so set himself down by her ladyship, at the upper end of the table, and place me at his left hand. Excuse me, my dear, said he. This one's excuse me.   Come, sir, added he, pray take your place next to your gentle aunt. Back, said she, do you sit down by Pamela there? Since it must be so, will be hail fellow all. With all my heart, replied my master, I have so much honour for all the sex, that I would not have the meanest person off at stand, while I sit, had I been to have made the custom. Mrs. Warden, pray sit down. Sir, said she, I hope I shall know my place better. My lady sat considering, and then lifting up her hand, said, Lord, what will this world come to? To nothing but what's very good, replied my master, if such spirits as Lady Davies do but take the rule of it. Shall I help you, sister, to some of the carp? Help your beloved, said she. That's kind, said he. Now that's my good Lady Davies. Hear my love, let me help you since my sister desires it. Mighty well, returned she, mighty well, but sat on one side turning from me as it were. Dear aunt, said her kinsman, let's see your bus and be friends. Since to so what signifies it? Hold thy full's tongue, said she. Is thy tone so soon turned? Since yesterday, said my master, I hope nothing affronting was offered yesterday to my wife, in her own house. She hit him a good smart slap on the shoulder. Like that impudent brother, said she, I'll wife you, and in her own house. She seemed half afraid, but he in very good humour kissed her and said, I thank you, sister, I thank you, but I have not had a blow from you before for some time. For Gad, said her kinsman, it is very kind of you to take it so well. Her ladyship is as good a woman as ever lived, but I've had many a cuff from her myself. I won't put it up neither, said my master. But you'll assure me you have seen her serve her lord so. I pressed my foot to his and said softly, don't diso. What, said she, is the creature begging me off from insult? If his manners won't keeping from outraging me, I won't owe his forbearance to thee, wench. Said my master, and put some fish on my lady's plate. Well, does Lady Davis use the word insult? But let me see you eat one mouthful, and I'll forgive you. And he put the knife in one of her hands and the fork in the other. As I hope to live, said he, I cannot bear this silly childishness for nothing at all. I am quite ashamed of it. She put a little bit to her mouth, but laid it down in her plate again. I cannot eat, said she. I cannot swallow, I'm sure. It will certainly choke me. He had forbid his men's servants to come in, that they might not behold the scene he expected, and rose from the table himself and filled a glass of wine. Her woman offering, and her kinsman rising to do it. Meantime, his seat between us being vacant, she turned to me. How now, confidence, said she, darest thou sit next to me? Why dost thou not rise and take the glass from thy property? Sit still, my dear, said he. I'll help you both. But I arose, for I was afraid of a good cuff, and said, Praise her. Let me help my lady. So you shall, replied he, when she's in a humour to thought. Sister, said he, with a glass in his hand, pray drink. You'll perhaps eat a little bit of something, then. Is this to insult me? said she. No, really, returned he, but to incite you to eat, for you'll be sick for want of it. She took the glass and said, God forgive you, wicked wretch, for your usage of me this day. This is the little as it used to be. I once had your love, and now it has changed, for whom that vexes me. And wept so, she was forced to set down the glass. You don't do well, said he. You neither treat me like your brother nor a gentleman. And if you would suffer me, I would love you as well as ever. But for a woman of sense and understanding, and a fine bread woman, as I once thought my sister, you act quite a childish part. Come, added he, and held her glass to her lips. Let your brother, that you once loved, prevail on you to drink this glass of me. She then drank it. He kissed her and said, Oh, how passion deformed the noblest minds. You have lost a good deal of that loveliness that used to adorn my sister. And let me persuade you to compose yourself and be my sister again. For Lady Davis is indeed a fine woman, and has a presence as majestic for a lady, as her dear brother has for a gentleman. He then sat down between us again and said when the second course came in, let Abraham come in and wait. I touched his toe again, but he minded it not. And I saw he was right. For her ladyship began to recollect herself, and did not behave half so ill before the servants as she had done, and helped herself with some little freedom. But she could not forbear a strong sigh and a sob now and then. She called for a glass of the same wine she had drank before. Said he, shall I help you again, Lady Davis? Indeed, said she, I love to be sued by my brother, your health, sir. End of section 28. Section 29 of Pamela or Virtue Rewarded. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org. Pamela or Virtue Rewarded. By Samuel Richardson. Section 29. Said my master to me, with great sweetness, my dear, now I'm up, I'll fill for you. I must serve both sisters alike. She looked at the servant as if he were a little check upon her, and said to my master, how now, sir, not that you have served. He whispered her, don't show any contempt before my servants to one I have so deservedly made their mistress. Consider, tis done. I said she, that's the thing that kills me. He gave me a glass, my good lady's health, sir, said I, that won't do, I'll have a picture, or some such word. And my master, seeing Abraham, looked towards her. Her eyes being read and swelled, said, indeed, sister, I would not vex myself about it if I was you. About what, said she. Why? Replied he, about your sense and merit to be slighted if it was so. But I am sure my lord loves you as well as you love him and you know not what may have happened.  This makes one a man, a woman, this makes one amazed, you should be so caught. Who, my lord caught, said he. No, no, he'll have more wit than so. But I never heard you a jealous before. Nor, said he, have you any reason to think so now? Honour's friend, you need not wait, said she. Call me a glass. Come, said my master, lord dabbers to you, madam. I hope you'll take care he's not found out. You're very provoking, brother said she. I wish you were as good as lord dabbers. But don't carry your gist too far. Well, said he, tis a tender point expected. And when the servants were withdrawn, my master said, still keeping his place between us. I have a question to ask you, lady dabbers, and that is, if you'll bear me company to Bedford Shire. I was intending to set out thither tomorrow, but I'll tarry your pleasure if you'll go with me. Is thy wife as they'll call us to go along with she? Yes, to be sure, answered he, my dear Quaker sister, and took her hand and smiled, and wouldn't have me parade it with her on the road, hey, and make one to grace her retinue, hey. Tell me how they'll chalk it out if I would do as they wouldn't have me, honest friend. He clasped his arms about her and kissed her. You are a dear saucy sister, said he, but I must love you. Why, I'll tell you how I'd have it. Here shall you and my Pamela leave out my I desire you if you have me sit patiently. No, replied he, I can't do that. Here shall you and my Pamela go together in your chariot if you please, and she will then appear your retinue and your nephew and I will sometimes ride and sometimes go into my chariot to your woman. Shouldn't thou like this creature, said she to me, if your ladyship think it not too great an honour for me, madam, said I. Yes, replied she, but my ladyship does think it would be too neither for without you give her the hand in your own chariot my wife would be thought your woman and that must not be. Why that would may be said she be the only inducement for me to bear her near me in my chariot. But how then why then when we came home would get Lord Dabbers to come to us and stay home. Why would I have you as I know you have a good fancy give Pamela your judgement on some patterns I expect from London for clothes. Provoking rich said she now I wish I may keep my hands to myself I don't say it to provoke you said he nor ought it to do so but when I tell you I am married I will close Has thou any more of those obliging things to say to me friend said she I will make you a present returned he worth your acceptance if you will graces with your company at church when we make our appearance take that said she if I die for it wretch that thou art and was going to him a great slap that he held her hand friendsman said dear aunt I wonder at you why all these are things of course I beg leave to withdraw and as I went out my good master said there's a person there's a shape there's a sweetness oh lady dappas were you a man you would doubt on her as I do yes said the naughty lady so I should for my wallet but not for my wife I turned on this and said indeed your ladyship is cruel and well may gentlemen take liberties when ladies of honour say such things and I wept and added your ladyships inference if your good brother was not the most generous of men would make me very unhappy no fear winch no fear said she they'll help me as long as anybody can I see that poor Sally Godfrey never had half the interest in him I'll assure you stay my Pamela said he in a passion stay when I bid you you have now heard two vile charges upon me I love you with such a true affection that I ought to say something before this malicious accuser that you may not think your consummate virtue linked to so black a villain her nephew seemed uneasy and blamed her much and I came back but trembled as I stood and he set me down and said taking my hand I have been accused my dear as a doula and now as a proplicate in another sense and there was a time I should not have received these imputations with so much concern as I now do when I would wish by degrees by a conformity of my manners to your virtue to show everyone the force your example has upon me but this briefly is the case of the first I had a friend who had been basically attempted to be assassinated by bravos hired by a man of title in Italy who like many other persons of title had no honour and at Padua I had the fortune to disarm one of those bravos in my friend's defence and made him confess his employer and him I own I challenged at Siena we met and he died in a month after at the fever but I hope not occasioned by the slight wounds he had received from me though I was obliged to leave Italy upon it sooner than I intended because of his numerous relations who looked upon me as the cause of his death though I pacified them by a letter I wrote them from in spruck acquainting them with the baseness of the deceased and they followed me not to Munich as they intended this is one of the good-natured hints that might shock your sweetness on reflecting that you are yoked with a murderer the other nay brother said she say no more tis your own fault if you go further she shall know at all said he and I defied the utmost stretch of your malice when I was at college I was well received by a widow lady who had several daughters and but small fortunes to give them and the old lady set one of them a deserving good girl she was to draw me in to marriage with her for the sake of the fortune I was there too and contrived many opportunities to bring us and leave us together I was not then of age and the young lady not half so artful as her mother yielded to my addresses before the mother's plot could be ripened and so utterly disappointed it this my Pamela is a sully godfrey this malicious woman with the worst intentions has informed you of and whatever other liberties I may have taken for perhaps some more I have which had she known you had heard of as well as this I desire heaven will only forgive me till I revive its vengeance by the like offenses in injury to my Pamela and now my dear you may withdraw for this worthy sister of mine has said all the bad she knows of me and what at a proper opportunity when I could have convinced you that they were not my boast but my concern I should have acquainted you with myself for I am not fond of being thought better than I am though I hope from the hour I devoted myself to so much virtue to that of my death my conduct shall be irreproachable she was greatly moved at this and the noble manner in which the dear gentleman owned and repented of his faults and gushed out into tears and said no don't yet go Pamela I beseech you passion has carried me too far a great deal and coming to me she shook my hand and said you must stay to hear me beg his pardon and so took his hand but to my concern for I was grieved for her ladyship's grief he burst from her and went out of the parlor into the garden in a violent rage that made me tremble her ladyship sat down and leaned her head against my bosom and made my neck wet with her tears holding me by the hands and I wept for company her kinsman walked up and down the parlor in a sad fret and going out afterwards he came in and said Mr B has ordered his chariot to be got ready and won't be spoken to by anybody where is he said she walking in the garden till it is ready replied he well said she I have indeed gone too far I was bewitched and now said she malicious as he calls me will he not forgive me for a twelve month for I tell you Pamela if ever you offend he will not easily forgive I was all delighted though sad to see her ladyship so good to me will you venture said she to accompany me to him do you follow a line in his retreats I'll attend your ladyship said I wherever you command well wench said she Pamela I mean thou art very good in the main I should have loved thee as well as my mother did if but it is all over now indeed you should not have married my brother come I must love him let's find him out and yet will he use me worse than a dog I should not added she have so much exasperated him for whenever I have I have always had the worst of it he knows I love him in this manner her ladyship talked to me leaning on my arm and walking into the garden I saw he was still to mould as it were and he took another walk to avoid us she called after him and said brother brother let me speak to you one word with you and as we made haste towards him and came near to him I desire said he that you'll not oppress me more with your follies and your violence I have born too much with you I will vow for a twelve month from this day hush said she don't vow I beg you for too well will you keep it I know my experience if you do you see said she I stoop to ask Pamela to be my advocate sure that will pacify you indeed said he I desire to see neither of you on such an occasion and let me only be left to myself for I will not be intruded upon thus and was going away but said she one word first I desire if you'll forgive me I'll forgive you what said the dear man quarterly will you forgive me why said she for she saw him too angry to mention his marriage as a subject that required her pardon I will forgive you all your bad usage of me this day I will be serious with you sister said he I wish you most sincerely well but let us from this time study so much one another's quiet as never to come near one another more never said she and can you desire this Barbara's brother can you I can I do said he and I have nothing to do but to hide from you not a brother but a murderer and a profligate unworthy of your relation and let me be consigned to penitence for my past evils a penitence however that shall not be broken in upon by so violent and accuser Pamela said he and made me tremble how dare you approach me without leave when you see me thus disturbed never for the future come near me when I am in these tumult unless I send for you dear sir said I leave me interrupted he I will set out for Bedfordshire this moment what sir said I without me what have I done you have too meanly said he for my wife his furious sister of mine and till I can recollect I am not pleased for you the coal brand shall attend you and to other of my servants and Mrs. Dukes shall wait upon you part of the way and I hope you'll find me in a better disposition to receive you there than I am at parting with you here had I not hoped that this was partly put on to intimidate my lady I believe I could not have born it but it was grievous to me for I saw he was most sincerely in a passion I was afraid said she he would be angry at you as well as me for well do I know his unreasonable violence when he is moved but one word sir said she pardon Pamela if you want me for she has committed no offence but that of good nature to me and at my request I will be gone myself directly as I was about to do had you not prevented me I prevented you said he true love but you have strung me for it true hatred but as for my Pamela I know besides the present moment I cannot be angry with her and therefore I desire her never to see me on such occasions till I can see her in the temper I ought to be in when so much sweetness approaches me it is therefore I say my dearest leave me now but sir said I must I leave you and let you go to Bedfordshire without me oh dear sir how can I said my lady you may go tomorrow both of you as you had designed I will go away this afternoon and since I cannot be forgiven will try to forget I have a brother may I sir said I beg all your anger on myself and to be reconciled to your good sister presuming Pamela replied he and made me start aren't thou then so hardy so well able to sustain a displeasure which of all things I expected from my affection and my tenderness thou wouldst have wished to avoid now said he and took my hand and as it were tossed it from him begun from my presence and reflect upon what you have said to me I was so frightened for then I saw he took amiss what I said that I took hold of his knees as he was turning from me and I said forgive me good sir you see I am not so hardy I cannot bear your displeasure and was ready to sink his sister said only forgive Pamela this all I ask you break her spirit quite you'll carry your passion as far too far as I have done I need not say said he how well I love her but she must not intrude upon me at such times as these I had intended as soon as I could have killed by my reason the tumult you had caused by your violence to have come in and taken such a leave of you both as might become a husband and a brother but she has unbidden broke in upon me and must take the consequence of the passion which when raised is as uncontrollable as your own said she did I not love you so well as sister never loved a brother I should not have given you all this trouble and did I not said he love you better than you are resolved to deserve I should be indifferent to all you say but this last instance after the dueling story which you would not have mentioned had you not known it there is matter of concern for me to think upon a poor Sally Godfrey is a piece of spite and meanness that I can renounce you my blood for well said she I am convinced it was wrong I am ashamed of it myself twice poor, twice mean twice unworthy of your sister and tis for this reason I stoop to follow you to beg your pardon even to procure one for my advocate who I believe had some interest in you if I might have believed your own professions to her which now I shall begin to think made purposely to insult me I cannot watch you think after the meanness you have been guilty of I can only look upon you with pity for indeed you have fallen very low with me tis plain I have said she but I'll be gone and so brother let me call you for this once God bless you and Pamela said her ladyship God bless you and kiss me and wept I do say no more and my lady turning from him he said your sex is the d blank L how strangely can you discompose calm and turn as you please as poor weather cocks of men your last kind blessing to my Pamela I cannot stand kiss but each other again and then he took both our hands and joined them and my lady saluting me again with tis on both sides he put his kind arms about each of our wastes and saluted us with great affection saying now God bless you both the two dearest creatures I have in the world well said she you will quite forget my fault about miss he stopped her before she could speak the name and said forever forget it and Pamela I'll forgive you too if you don't again make my displeasure so light a thing to you as you did just now said my lady she did not make your displeasure a light thing to her but the heavier it was the higher compliment she made me that she would bear it all rather than not see you and me reconciled no matter for that said he it was either an absence of thought or a slight bow implication at least that my niceness could not bear from her tenderness for looked at not presuming that she could stand my displeasure or were sure of making her terms when she pleased which fond as I am of her I assure her will not be always in willful faults in her power no said my lady I can tell you Pamela you have a gentleman here in my brother and you may expect such treatment from him as that character and his known good sense and reading will always oblige him to show but if you offend the Lord have mercy upon you you see how it is by poor me and yet I never knew him to forgive so soon I am sure said I I will take care as much as I can for I have been frightened out of my wits I had offended before I knew where I was so happily did this storm blow over and my lady was quite subdued and pacified when we came out of the garden his chariot was ready and he said well sister I had most assuredly gone away towards my other house if things had not taken this happy turn and if you please instead of it you and I will take an earring and pray my dear said he to me bid Mrs. Dupes order supper by eight o'clock and we shall then join you so added he to her nephew will you take your horse and escort us I will said he and I'm glad at my soul to see you also good friends so my dear Lord and master handed my lady into his chariot and her Kingsman and his servants rode after them and I went up to my closet to ruminate on these things and foolish thing that I am this poor Miss Sully Godfrey runs into my head how soon the name and quality of a wife gives one privileges in one's own account yet me thinks I want to know more about her for is it not strange that I who lived years in the family should have heard nothing of this but I was so constantly with my lady that I might the less hear of it for she I dare say never knew it or she would have told me but I dare not ask him about the poor lady yet I wonder what became of her and whether she be living and whether anything came of it maybe I shall hear full soon enough but I hope not to any bad purpose as to the other unhappy case I know it was talked of that in his travels before I was taken into the family long he had one or two broils and from a youth he was always remarkable and is reckoned a great master of his sword God grant he may never be put to use it and that he may be always preserved in honour and safety about seven o'clock my master sent word that he would have me not expect him to suffer for that he and my lady his sister and nephew were prevailed upon to stay with Lady Jones and that Lady Danford and Mr Peter's family had promised to meet them there I was glad they did not send for me and the rubber as I hoped those good families being my friends would confirm my lady a little in my favour and so I followed my writing closely about eleven o'clock they returned I had but just come down having tired myself with my pen and was sitting talking with Mrs Dukes and Mrs Warden whom I would though unwillingly on their sides make sit down which they did over against me Mrs Warden asked my pardon in a good deal of confusion for the part she had acted against me saying that things had been very differently represented to her and that she little thought I was married and that she was behaving so rudely to the lady at the house I said I took nothing amiss and very freely forgave her and hoped my new condition would not make me forget how to behave properly to everyone but that I must endeavour to act not unworthy of it for the honour of the gentleman who had so generously raised me to it Mrs Dukes said that my situation gave me great opportunities of showing the excellence of my nature that I could forgive offences against me so readily as she for her own part must always she said acknowledge with confusion of face people said I Mrs Dukes don't know how they shall act when their wills are in the power of their superiors and I always thought one should distinguish between acts of malice and of implicit obedience though at the same time a person should know how to judge between lawful and unlawful and even the great though at present angry they are not obeyed will afterwards have no ill opinion of a person for withstanding them in their unlawful commands Mrs Dukes soon the little concerned at this and I said I spoke cheaply from my own experience for that I might say as they both knew my story that I had not wanted both the menaces and temptations and had I complied with the one or been intimidated by the other I should not have been what I was ah madam replied Mrs Dukes I never knew anybody like you and I think you're tempest sweeter since the happy day than before and that if possible you take less upon you why a good reason said I may I be assigned for that I thought myself in danger I looked upon everyone as my enemy and it was impossible that I should not be fretful uneasy jealous but when my dearest friend had taken from me the ground of my uneasiness and made me quite happy I should have been very blameable if I had not shown as satisfied and easy mind and the temper that should engage everyone's respect and love at the same time if possible and so much the more as it was but justifying in some sort the honour I had received for the fewer enemies I made myself the more I engaged everyone to think that my good benefactor had been less blame in descending as he has done this way of talking please them both very much and they made me many compliments upon it and wish me always to be happy as they said I so well deserved we were thus engaged when my master and his sister and her nephew came in and they made me quite alive in the happy humour in which they all returned the two women would have withdrawn that my master said don't go Mrs Warden Mrs Dukes pray stay I shall speak to you presently so he came to me and saluting me said well my dear love I hope I have not trespassed upon your patience by an absence longer than we designed but it has not been to your disadvantage for though we had not your company we talked of nobody else but you my lady came up to me and said a child you have been all our subject I don't know how it is but you have made two or three good families in this neighbourhood as much your admirers as your friend here my sister said he has been hearing your praises Pamela from half a score mouths with more pleasure than her heart will easily let her express my good lady Dabbers favour said I and the continuance of yours sir would give me more pride than that of all the rest of the will put together well child said she proud hearts don't come down all at once though my brother here has this day set mine a good many pegs lower than I ever knew it but I will say I wish you joy with my brother and so kissed me my dear lady said I you forever oblige me myself quite happy this was all I wanted to make me so and I hope I shall always through my life show your ladyship that I have the most grateful and respectful sense of your goodness but child said she I shall not give you my company when you make your appearance let your own merit make all your bed for child neighbours your friends and all that has done here by your Lincoln Shire once and you'll have no need of my countenance nor anybody's else now said her nephew I wish you joy with all my soul madam and by what I have seen and by what I have heard for Gad I think you have met with no more than you deserve and so all the company says and pray forgive all my nonsense to you sir said I I shall always I hope respect as I put so near a relation of my good lord and lady Dabbers and I thank you for your kind compliment Gad Beck said he I believe you some forgiveness too to ask for we were all to blame to make madam here fly the pit as she did little did we think we made her quit her own house thou always said my lady say is too much or too little Mrs Warden said I have been treated with so much goodness and condescension since you went that I have been beforehand sir in asking pardon myself so my lady sat down with me half an hour and told me that her brother had carried her a fine airing and had quite charmed her with his kind treatment of her and had much confirmed her in the good opinion she had begun to entertain of my discreet and obliging behavior but continued she when he would make me visit about intending to stay my old neighbors for said she lady dones being nearest we visited her first and she scraped all the rest of the company together they were all so full of your praises that I was quite born down and truly it was all among the prophets you may believe how much I was delighted with this and I spared not my due acknowledgements when her ladyship took leave to go to bed she said good night to you and to your good man I kissed you when I came in out of form but I now kiss you out of more than form I'll assure you join with me my dear parents in my joy for this happy turn the contrary of which I so much credit and was the only difficulty I had to labour with this poor miss Sally Godfrey I wonder what's become of your soul I wish he would of his own head mention her again not that I am very uneasy neither you'll say I must be a little saucy if I was end of section 29 section 30 of Pamela are virtually rewarded this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Vali Pamela are virtually rewarded by Samuel Richardson section 30 my dear master gave me an account when he went up of the pains he had taken with his beloved sister as he himself styled her of all the kind things the good families had said in my behalf and that he observed she was not so much displeased with hearing them as she was at first when she would not permit anybody to speak of me as his wife and that my health as his spouse being put when it came to her she drank it but said come brother this is your Pamela to you but I shall not know how to stand this affair when the countess and the young ladies come to visit me one of these young ladies was the person who was so fond of promoting a match for with her brother Lady Betty I know she said will rally me smartly upon it and you know brother she once made a wet nurse attire he said Lady Betty whenever she marries will meet with a better husband than I should have made her for in my consigns I think I should hardly have made a tolerable one to any but Pamela he told me that they rallied him on the statelyness of his temper and said they saw he would make an exceeding good husband where he was but it must be owing to my meekness more than to his complacence for said miss Danforth I could see very well enough when your ladyship detained her though he had but hint at his desire of finding her at our house he was so out of humour at her supposed non-compliance that mine and my sister's pity for her was much more engaged than our envy I said my lady he is too lordly a creature by much and can't bear disappointment nor never could said he well lady Davis you should not for all persons find fault with me for I bore a great deal from you before I was at all angry yes she replied but when I had gone too far as I own I did you made me pay for it severely enough you know you did saucebox and the poor thing too added she that I took with me for my advocate so low had he brought me he treated her in such a manner as made my heart ache for her but part was art I know to make me think the better of her indeed sister said he there was very little of that for at that time I cared not what you thought nor had complacence enough to have given a shilling for your good or bad opinion of her or me and I own I was displeased to be broken in upon after your provocations by either of you and she must learn that lesson never to come near me when I'm in those humours which shall be as little as possible for after a while if let alone I always come to myself and I'm sorry for the violence of a temper so like my dear sister's here and for this reason think it is no matter how few witnesses I have of its intemperance while it lasts especially since every witness whether they merit it or not as you see in my Pamela's case must be a sufferer by it if unsent for they come in my way he repeated the same lesson to me again and enforced it and owned that he was angry with me in earnest just then though more with himself afterwards for being soon when Pamela had said he wanted to transfer all the displeasure upon yourself it was so much braving me with your merit as if I must soon end my anger if placed there or it was making it so like to you that I was truly displeased for continuity I cannot bear that you should wish on any occasion whatever to have me angry with you or not to value my displeasure as the heaviest misfortune that could befall you but sir said I you know that what I did was to try to reconcile my lady and as she herself observed it was paying her a high regard it was so replied he but never think of making a compliment to her anybody living at my expense besides she had behaved herself so intolerably that I began to think you had stood too much and more than I ought to permit my wife to do and acts of meanness are what I can't endure in anybody but especially where I love and as she had been guilty of a very single one I had much rather have pleased her at that time than have been reconciled to her sir said I I hope I shall always comport myself so as not willfully to displease you for the future and they rather do I hope this as I am sure I shall want only to know your pleasure to obey it but this instance she used me that I may offend without designing it in the least now Pamela replied he don't be too serious I hope I shan't be a very tyrannical husband to you yet do I not pretend to be perfect not to be always governed by reason in my first transports and I expect from your affection that you will bear with me wrong I have no ungrateful spirit and can when cool enter as impartially into myself as most men and then I'm always kind and acknowledging in proportion as I have been out of the way but to convince you my dear continuity of your fault I mean with regard to the impetus of my temper for there was no fault in your intention that I acknowledge I'll observe only that you met when you came to me while I was so out of humor a reception you did not expect and a harsh word or two that you did not deserve now had you not broken in upon me while my anger lasted but stayed till I had come to you or sent to desire company you'd have seen none of this at that affectionate behavior which I doubt not you'll always merit and I shall always take pleasure in expressing and in this temper shall you always find a proper influence over me but you must not suppose whenever I'm out of humor that in opposing yourself to my fashion you oppose proper but to it but when you're so good like this lender's read to bend to the hurricane rather than like this dirty oak to resist it you will always stand firm in my kind opinion while a contrary conduct would uproot you with all your excellencies from my soul sir said I I'll endeavor to confirm myself in all things to your will I make no doubt but you will and I'll endeavor to make my will as comfortable to reason as I can and let me tell you that this belief of you is one of the inducements I have had to marry at all for nobody was more averse to this state than myself and now we are upon the subject I'll tell you why I was so averse we people of fortune or such as are born to large expectations of both sexes are generally educated wrong you have occasionally touched upon this Pamela several times in your journal so justly that I need say the less to you we are usually so head strong so violent in our wills that we very little bear control Humored by our nurses through the fault of our parents we practice first upon them and to the gratitude of our dispositions in an insolence that ought rather to be checked and restrained than encouraged next we are to be indulged in everything at school in our masters and mistresses are rewarded with further grateful instances of our boisterous behavior but in our wise parents eyes all looks well all is forgiven and excused and for no other reason but because we are theirs our next progression is we exercise our spirits when brought home to the torment and regret of our parents themselves and torture their hearts by our undutiful and perverse behavior to them which which however ungrateful in us is but the natural consequence of their culpable indulgence to us from in fancy upwards and then next after we have perhaps half broken their hearts a wife is looked out for convenience or birth or fortune are the first motives affection the last if it is at all consulted and two persons thus educated thus trained up in a course of unnatural ingratitude and who have been headstrong torments to everyone who has had a share in their education as well as those to whom they owe their being are brought together and what can be expected but that they should pursue and carry on the same conduct and matrimony and join most heartily to plague one another and in some measure indeed thus is right because hereby they revenge the cause of all those who have been aggrieved and insulted by them upon one another the gentleman has been never controlled the lady has been never contradicted he cannot bear it from one whose new relation he thinks should oblige her to shoe a quite contrary conduct she thinks it very barbarious now for the first time to be opposed in her will and that by a man from whom she expected nothing but tenderness so great is the difference between what they both expect from one another and what they both find that no wonder misunderstandings happen that these rip into quarrels that acts of unkindness pass which even had the first motive to their union being affection as usually it is not would have it faced all manner of tender impressions on both sides appeal to parents or guardians often enchew if the mediation of friends a reconciled takes place it hardly ever holds for why the fault is in minds of both and neither of them will think so so that the wound not permitted to be probed is but skinned over and wrangles still at the bottom and at last breaks out with more pain and anguish than before separate beds are often a consequence perhaps elopements if not an unconquerable indifference possibly a version and whenever for the pure and sake they are obliged to be together everyone sees that the yawning husband and the vaporish wife are truly insupportable to one another but separate have freer spirits now my dear I would have you think and I hope you will have no other reason that had I married the first lady in the land I would not have treated her better than I will my family for my wife is my wife and I was the longer resolving on the state because I knew its requisites and doubted my conduct in it I believe I am more nice than many gentlemen but it is because I have been a close observer of the behavior of the wedded folks and hardly ever have seen it to be such as I could like in my own case I shall possibly give you instances of a more particular nature of this as we are longer and perhaps I might say better acquainted had I married with the views of many gentlemen and with such as my good sister supplying the place of my father and mother would have recommended I had wedded a fine lady brought up pretty much in my own manner and used to have her bill in everything