Section 24, Book 6, Philia Dolorosa, Chapter 1, The Fallen Leaves by Wilkie Collins. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Rita Butros. Chapter 1. Emilius found that no easy matter to pass quickly through the people loitering and gossiping about him. There was greater freedom for a rapid walker in the road. He was on the point of stepping off the pavement, when a voice behind him, a sweet soft voice, though it spoke very faintly, said, Are you good natured, sir? He turned and found himself face to face with one of the saddest sisterhoods on earth, the sisterhood of the streets. His heart ached as he looked at her. She was so poor and so young. The lost creature had, to all appearance, barely passed the boundary between childhood and girlhood. She could hardly be more than 15 or 16 years old. Her eyes of the purest and loveliest blue rested on Emilius with a vacantly patient look, like the eyes of a suffering child. The soft oval outline of her face would have been perfect if the cheeks had been filled out. They were wasted and hollow and sadly pale. Her delicate lips had none of the rosy color of youth, and her finely modeled chin was disfigured by a piece of plaster covering some injury. She was little and thin. Her worn and scanty clothing showed her frail youthful figure still waiting for its perfection of growth. Her pretty little bare hands were reddened by the raw night air. She trembled as Emilius looked at her in silence with compassionate wonder. But for the words in which she had accosted him, it would have been impossible to associate her with the lamentable life that she led. The appearance of the girl was artlessly virginal and innocent. She looked as if she had passed through the contamination of the streets without being touched by it, without fearing it, or feeling it, or understanding it, robed in pure white with her gentle blue eyes raised to heaven. A painter might have shown her on his canvas as a saint or an angel, and the critical world would have said, Here is the true ideal. Raphael himself might have painted this. You look very pale, said Emilius. Are you ill? No, sir, only hungry. Her eyes half closed. She reeled from sheer weakness as she said the words. Emilius held her up and looked round him. They were close to a stall at which coffee and slices of bread and butter were sold. He ordered some coffee to be poured out and offered her the food. She thanked him and tried to eat. I can't help it, sir, she said faintly. The bread dropped from her hand. Her weary head sank on his shoulder. Two young women, older members of the sad sisterhood, were passing at the moment. She's too far gone, sir, to eat, said one of them. I know what would do her good if you don't mind going into a public house. Where is it, said Emilius? Be quick. One of the women led the way. The other helped Emilius to support the girl. They entered the crowded public house. In less than a minute, the first woman had forced her way through the drunken customers at the bar and had returned with a glass of port wine and clothes. The girl revived as the stimulant passed her lips. She opened her innocent blue eyes again in vague surprise.  A corner of the place was not occupied. A small empty cask stood there. Emilius made the poor creature sit down and rest a little. He had only gold in his purse, and when the woman had paid for the wine, he offered her some of the change. She declined to take it. I've got a shilling or two, sir, she said, and I can take care of myself. Give it to simple Sally. You'll say for a beating, sir, for one night at least, said the other woman.   Give her some of your change, sir, and you'll be doing the kind thing. All that is most unselfish, all that is most divinely compassionate and self-sacrificing in a woman's nature was as beautiful and as undefiled as ever in these women, the outcasts of the hard highway. Emilius turned to the girl. Her head had sunk on her bosom. She was half asleep. She looked up as he approached her. Would you have been beaten tonight, he asked, if you had not met with me? Father always beats me, sir, said simple Sally, if I don't bring money home. He threw a knife at me last night. It didn't hurt much. It only cut me here, said the girl, pointing to the plaster on her chin. One of the women touched Emilius on the shoulder and whispered to him, he's no more her father, sir, than I am. She's a helpless creature and he takes advantage of her.  Show the gentleman your bosom, Sally. She opened her poor, threadbare little shawl over the lovely girlish breast, still only growing to the rounded beauty of womanhood. There was a hideous blue-black bruise. Simple Sally smiled and said, that did hurt me, sir. I'd rather have the knife. Some of the nearest drinkers at the bar looked round and laughed. Emilius tenderly drew the shawl over the girl's cold bosom. For God's sake, let us get away from this place, he said. The influence of the cool night air completed Simple Sally's recovery. She was able to eat now. Emilius proposed retracing his steps to the provision shop and giving her the best food that the place afforded. She preferred the bread and butter at the coffee stall. Those thick slices piled up on the plate tempted her as a luxury. On trying the luxury, one slice satisfied her. I thought I was hungry enough to eat the whole plateful, said the girl, turning away from the stall in the vacantly submissive manner which it saddened Emilius to see. He bought more of the bread and butter on the chance that her appetite might revive. While he was wrapping it in a morsel of paper, one of her elder companions touched him and whispered, there he is, sir. Emilius looked at her, the brute who calls himself her father, the woman explained impatiently. Emilius turned and saw Simple Sally with her arm in the grasp of a half-drunken ruffian, one of the swarming wild beasts of low London, dirtied down from head to foot to the color of the street mud, the living danger and disgrace of English civilization. As Emilius eyed him, he drew the girl away a step or two. You've got a gentleman this time, he said to her, I shall expect gold tonight or else. He finished the sentence by lifting his monstrous fist and shaking it in her face. Cautiously as he had lowered his tones and speaking, the words had reached the keenly sensitive ears of Emilius. Urged by his hot temper, he sprang forward. In another moment he would have knocked the brute down, but for the timely interference of the arm of the law, clad in a policeman's great coat. Don't get yourself into trouble, sir, said the man good-humidly.  Be off with you. The wild beast on two legs cowered at the voice of authority, like the wild beast on four. He was lost to sight at the dark end of the street in a moment.  He has bruised her frightfully on the breast. Is there no protection for the poor creature? Well, sir, the policeman answered, you can summon him if you like. I dare say he'd get a month's hard labor. But don't you see, it would be all the worse for her when he came out of prison. The policeman's view of the girl's position was beyond dispute. Emilius turned to her gently. She was shivering with cold or terror, perhaps with both. Tell me, he said, is that man really your father? Lord, bless you, sir, interpose the policeman astonished at the gentleman's simplicity. Simple sally hasn't got father or mother, have you, my girl? She paid no heed to the policeman. The sorrow and sympathy, plainly visible in Emilius, filled her with a childish interest and surprise. She dimly understood that it was sorrow and sympathy for her. The bear idea of distressing this new friend, so unimaginably kind and considerate, seemed to frighten her. Don't fret about me, sir, she said timidly. I don't mind having no father or mother, I don't mind being beaten. She appealed to the nearest of her two women friends. We get used to everything, don't we, Jenny? Emilius could bear no more. It's enough to break one's heart to hear you and see you, he burst out and suddenly turned his head aside. His generous nature was touched to the quick. He could only control himself by an effort of resolution that shook him body and soul. I can't and won't let that unfortunate creature go back to be beaten and starved, he said, passionately addressing himself to the policeman. Oh, look at her, how helpless and how young. The policeman stared. These were strange words to him, but all true emotion carries with it among all true people. Its own title to respect. He spoke to Emilius with marked respect. It's a hard case, sir, no doubt, he said. The girls are quiet, well-disposed creature, and the other two there are the same. They're of the sort that keep to themselves and don't drink. They, all of them, do well enough as long as they don't let the liquor overcome them. Half the time it's the men's fault when they do drink. Perhaps the workhouse might take her in for the night. What's this you've got, girl, in your hand? Money? Emilius hastened to say that he had given her the money. The workhouse, he repeated, the very sound of it is horrible. Make your mind easy, sir, said the policeman. They won't take her in at the workhouse with money in her hand. In sheer despair, Emilius asked helplessly if there was no hotel near. The policeman pointed to simple Sally's threadbare and scanty clothes and left them to answer the question for themselves. There's a place they call a coffee house, he said, with the air of a man who thought he had better provoke as little further inquiry on that subject as possible. Too completely preoccupied or too innocent in the ways of London to understand the man, Emilius decided on trying the coffee house. A suspicious old woman met them at the door and spied the policeman in the background.  Is there no other place, said Emilius. There is a lodging house the policeman answered more doubtfully than ever. It's getting late, sir, and I'm afraid you'll find unpacked like herrings in a barrel. Come and see for yourself. He led the way into a wretchedly lighted by street and knocked with his foot on a trap door in the pavement.  Any of them wanted tonight, sir, asked the sturdy boy the moment he saw the policeman. What does he mean, said Emilius. There's a sprinkling of thieves among them, sir, the policeman explained. Stand out of the way, Jacob, and let the gentleman look in. He produced his lantern and directed the light downward as he spoke. Emilius looked in. The policeman's figure of speech, likening the lodgers to herrings in a barrel, accurately described the scene. On the floor of the kitchen, men, women, and children lay all huddled together in closely packed rows. Gastly faces rose terrified out of the seething obscurity when the light of the lantern fell on them. The stench drove Emilius back, sickened and shuttering.  This is a civil boy, he explained to Emilius, and I like to encourage him. I'm getting better, sir, as fast as I can, said the boy. Good night, Jacob. Good night, sir. The trap door fell, and the lodging house disappeared like the vision of a frightful dream. There was a moment of silence among the little group on the pavement. It was not easy to solve the question of what to do next. There seems to be some difficulty, the policeman remarked about housing this girl for the night. Why shouldn't we take her along with us, one of the women suggested. She won't mind sleeping three in a bed, I know. What are you thinking of, the other woman remonstrated? When he finds she don't come home, our place will be the first place he looks for her in. Emilius settled the difficulty in his own headlong way. I'll take care of her for the night, he said. Sally, will you trust yourself with me?  Her one face brightened for the first time. Thank you, sir, she said, I'll go anywhere along with you. The policeman smiled. The two women looked thunderstruck. Before they had recovered themselves, Emilius forced them to take some money from him and cordially shook hands with them. You're good creatures, he said in his eager hearty way. I'm sincerely sorry for you. Now, Mr. Policeman, show me where to find a cab and take that for the trouble I am giving you. You're a humane man and a credit to the force. In five minutes more, Emilius was on the way to his lodgings with simple Sally by his side. The act of reckless imprudence which he was committing was nothing but an act of Christian duty to his mind. Not the slightest misgiving troubled him. I shall provide for her in some way he thought to himself cheerfully. He looked at her. The weary outcast was asleep already in her corner of the cab. From time to time she still shivered even in her sleep. Emilius took off his great coat and covered her with it. How some of his friends at the club would have laughed if they had seen him at that moment. He was obliged to wake her when the cab stopped. His key admitted them to the house. He lit his candle in the hall and led her up the stairs. You'll soon be asleep again, Sally, he whispered. She looked round the little sitting room with drowsy admiration. What a pretty place to live in, she said. Are you hungry again? Emilius asked.  Her pretty light brown hair fell about her face and her shoulders. I think I'm too tired, sir. To be hungry, might I take the sofa pillow down on the hearth rug? Emilius opened the door of his bedroom. You are to pass the night more comfortably than that, he answered. There is a bed for you here. She followed him in and looked round the bedroom with renewed admiration of everything that she saw. At the sight of the hairbrushes and the comb she clapped her hands in ecstasy. Oh, how different from mine, she exclaimed. Is the comb toward a shell, sir, like one sees in the shop windows? The bath and the towels attracted her next. She stood looking at them with longing eyes, completely forgetful of the wonderful comb. I've often peeped into the iron monger's shops, she said, and thought I should be the happiest girl in the world if I had such a bath as that.  In all my life I have never had as much water as I should like. She paused and thought for a moment. The forlorn vacant look appeared again and dimmed the beauty of her blue eyes. It will be hard to go back after seeing all these pretty things she said to herself and sighed, with that inborn submission to her fate so melancholy to see in a creature so young. You shall never go back again to that dreadful life Emilius interposed. Never speak of it, never think of it anymore. Oh, don't look at me like that. She was listening with an expression of pain and with both her hands lifted to her head. There was something so wonderful in the idea which she had suggested to her that her mind was not able to take in all in at once. You make my head giddy, she said.  I feel out of myself, like when a gentleman like you sets me thinking of new things. Would you mind saying it again, sir? I'll say it tomorrow morning, Emilius rejoined kindly. You are tired, Sally. Go to rest. She roused herself and looked at the bed. Is that your bed, sir? It's your bed tonight, said Emilius. I shall sleep on the sofa in the next room. Her eyes rested on him for a moment and speechless surprise. She looked back again at the bed. Are you going to leave me by myself? She asked, wonderingly. Not the faintest suggestion of immodesty. Nothing that the most profligate man living could have interpreted impurely showed itself in her look or manner as she said those words. Emilius thought of what one of her women friends had told him.  There were other senses in the poor victim that were still undeveloped besides the mental sense. He was at a loss how to answer her with the respect which was due to that all-attoning ignorance. His silence amazed and frightened her.  She asked. Emilius hesitated no longer. My poor girl, he said, I pity you from the bottom of my heart. Sleep well, simple Sally. Sleep well. He left her hurriedly and shut the door between them. She followed him as far as the closed door and stood there alone trying to understand him and trying all in vain. After a while she found courage enough to whisper through the door, if you please, sir. She stopped startled by her own boldness. He never heard her. He was standing at the window looking out thoughtfully at the night feeling less confident of the future already. She still stood at the door wretched in the firm persuasion that she had offended him. Once she lifted her hand to knock at the door and let it drop again at her side. A second time she made the effort and desperately summoned the resolution to knock. He opened the door directly. I'm very sorry if I said anything wrong. She began faintly, her breath coming in going in quick hysteric gasps. Please forgive me and wish me good night. Emilius took her hand. He said good night with the utmost gentleness. But he said it sorrowfully. She was not quite comforted yet. Would you mind, sir? She paused awkwardly, afraid to go on. There was something so completely childlike in the artless perplexity of her eyes that Emilius smiled. The change in his expression gave her back her courage in an instant. Her pale delicate lips reflected his smile prettily. Would you mind giving me a kiss, sir? She said. Emilius kissed her. Let the man who can honestly say he would have done otherwise blame him. He shut the door between them once more. She was quite happy now. He heard her singing to herself as she got ready for bed. Once in the wakeful watches of the night she startled him. He heard a cry of pain or terror in the bedroom. What is it? He asked through the door. What has frightened you? There was no answer. After a minute or two the cry was repeated. He opened the door and looked in. She was sleeping and dreaming as she slept. One little thin white arm was lifted in the air and waved restlessly to and fro over her head.   Emilius took her arm gently and laid it back on the coverlet of the bed. His touch seemed to exercise some calming influence over her. She sighed and turned her head on the pillow. A faint flush rose on her wasted cheeks and passed away again. She sank quietly into dreamless sleep. Emilius returned to his sofa and fell into a broken slumber. The hours of the night passed. The sad light of the November morning dawned mystically through the uncurrentened window and woke him. He started up and looked at the bedroom door. Now what is to be done? That was his first thought on waking. He was beginning to feel his responsibilities at last. End of Chapter 1 The landlady of the lodgings decided what was to be done. You will be so good, sir, as to leave my apartments immediately, she said to Emilius. I make no claim to the week's rent. In consideration of the short notice, this is a respectable house and it shall be kept respectable at any sacrifice. Emilius explained and protested. He appealed to the landlady's sense of justice and sense of duty as a Christian woman. The reasoning, which would have been irresistible at Tadmore, was reasoning completely thrown away in London. The landlady remained as impenetrable as the Egyptian Sphinx. If that creature in the bedroom is not out of my house in an hour's time, I shall send for the police. Having answered her lodger's arguments in those terms, she left the room and banged the door after her. Thank you, sir, for being so kind to me. I'll go away directly and then perhaps the lady will forgive you. Emilius looked round. Simple Sally had heard it all. She was dressed in her wretched clothes and was standing at the open bedroom door, crying. Wait a little, said Emilius, wiping her eyes with his own handkerchief, and we will go away together. I want to get you some better clothes and I don't exactly know how to set about it. Don't cry, my dear, don't cry. The deaf, made-of-all-work came in, as he spoke. She, too, was in tears. Emilius had been good to her in many little ways, and she was the guilty person who had led to the discovery in the bedroom. If you had only told me, sir, she said penitently I'd have kept it secret, but there I went in with your hot water as usual and, oh, Lord, I was that startled. I dropped the jug and run downstairs again. Emilius stopped the further progress of the apology. I don't blame you, Maria. He said, I'm in a difficulty. Help me out of it, and you will do me a kindness. Maria partially heard him and no more, afraid of reaching the landlady's ears as well as the maid's ears. If he raised his voice, he asked if she could read writing. Yes, she could read writing if it was plain. Emilius immediately reduced the expression of his necessities to writing in large text. Maria was delighted. She knew the nearest shop at which ready-made outer clothing for women could be obtained, and nothing was wanted as a certain guide to an ignorant man but two pieces of string. With one piece she measured simple Sally's height, and with the other she took the slender girth of the girl's waist, while Emilius opened his writing desk and supplied himself with the last sum of spare money that he possessed. He had just closed the desk again when the voice of the merciless landlady was heard, calling imperatively for Maria. The maid of all work handed the two indicative strings to Emilius. They'll help you at the shop, she said, and shuffled out of the room. Emilius turned to simple Sally. I'm going to get you some new clothes, he began. The girl stopped him there. She was incapable of listening to a word more. Every trace of sorrow vanished from her face in an instant. She clapped her hands. Oh, she cried, new clothes, clean clothes, let me go with you. Even Emilius saw that it was impossible to take her out in the streets with him in broad daylight, dressed as she was then. No, no, he said, wait here till you get your new things. I won't be half an hour gone. Lock yourself in if you're afraid and open the door to nobody till I come back. Sally hesitated. She began to look frightened. New dress and the pretty bonnet suggested Emilius, speaking unconsciously in the tone in which he might have promised a toy to a child. He had taken the right way with her, her face brightened again. I'll do anything you tell me, she said. He put the key in her hand and was out in the street directly. Emilius possessed one valuable moral quality which is exceedingly rare among Englishmen. He was not in the least ashamed in a ridiculous position when he was conscious that his own motives justified him. The smiling and tittering of the shop women when he stated the nature of his errand and produced his two pieces of string failed to annoy him in the smallest degree. He laughed too. Funny isn't it, he said, a man like me buying gowns and the rest of it. She can't come herself and you'll advise me like good creatures, won't you? They advised their handsome young customer to such good purpose that he was in possession of a grey walking costume, a black cloth jacket, a plain lavender colored bonnet, a pair of black gloves and a paper of pins in little more than ten minutes time. The nearest trunk maker supplied a traveling box to hold all these treasures and a passing cab took Emilius back to his lodgings just as the half hour was out. But one event had happened during his absence. The landlady had knocked at the door, had called through it in a terrible voice half an hour more and had retired again without waiting for an answer. Emilius carried the box into the bedroom be as quick as you can, Sally, he said and left her alone to enjoy the full rapture of discovering the new clothes. When she opened the door and showed herself the change was so wonderful that Emilius was literally unable to speak to her.  She ran across the room to Emilius and threw her arms round his neck let me be your servant she cried I want to live with you all my life jump me up I'm wild I want to fly through the window she caught sight of herself in the looking glass and suddenly became composed and serious oh she said with the quaintest mixture of awe and astonishment was there ever such another bonnet as this do look at it do please look at it Emilius good-naturedly approached to look at it at the same moment the sitting room door was opened without any preliminary ceremony of knocking and Rufus walked into the room it's half after ten he said and the breakfast is spoiling as fast as it can before Emilius could make his excuses for having completely forgotten his engagement Rufus discovered Sally no woman young or old high in rank or low in rank ever found the New Englander unprepared with his own characteristic acknowledgement of the dead of courtesy which he owed to the sex with his customary vast strides he marched up to Sally and insisted on shaking hands with her how do you find yourself miss a great pleasure in making your acquaintance the girl turned to Emilius with wide-eyed wonder and doubt going to the next room Sally for a minute or two he said this gentleman is a friend of mine and I have something to say to him that's an active little girl said Rufus looking after her as she ran to the friendly shelter of the bedroom reminds me of one of our girls at Cool Spring she does well now and who may Sally be Emilius answered the question as usual without the slightest reserve Rufus waited in impenetrable silence until he had completed his narrative then took him gently by the arm and led him to the window with his hands in his pockets and his long legs planted wide apart on his big feet the American carefully studied the face of his young friend under the strongest light that could fall on it no said Rufus speaking quietly to himself the boy is not raving mad as far as I can see he has every appearance on him of meaning what he says and this is what comes of the community of Tadmore is it well civil and religious liberty is dearly purchased sometimes in the United States and that's a fact Emilius turned away to pack his portmanteau I don't understand you he said I don't suppose you do Rufus remarked I am at a similar loss myself to understand you my store of sensible remarks is copious occasions but I'm darned if I ain't dried up in the face of this might I venture to ask with that venerable chief Christian at Tadmore would say to the predicament in which I find my young socialist this morning what would he say Emilius repeated just what he said when Melisand first came among us ah dear me another of the fallen leaves I wish I had the dear old man here to help me he would know how to restore that poor star outraged beaten creature to the happy place on God's earth which God intended her to film Rufus abruptly took him by the hand you mean that he said what else could I mean Emilius rejoined sharply bring her right away to breakfast at the hotel cried Rufus with every appearance of feeling infinitely relieved I don't say I can supply you with the venerable chief Christian but I can find a woman to fix you who is nigh to being an angel barring the wings as any she creature since the time of mother Eve he knocked at the bedroom door turning a deaf ear to every appeal for further information which Emilius could address to him breakfast is waiting miss he called out and I'm bound to tell you that the temper of the cook at our hotel is a long way on the wrong side of uncertain well Emilius this is the age of exhibition if there's ever an exhibition of ignorance in the business of packing a portmanteau you run for the gold medal and a unanimous jury will vote it I reckon to a young man from Tadmore clear out will you and leave it to me he pulled off his coat and conquered the difficulties of packing in a hurry as if he had done nothing else all his life the landlady herself appearing with pitiless punctuality exactly at the expiration of the hour smoothed her hard front in the polite and plackable presence of Rufus he insisted on shaking hands with her he took pleasure in making her acquaintance she reminded him he did assure her of the lady of the captain general of the cool spring branch of the st. Vitus commandery and he would take the liberty to inquire whether they were related or not under cover of this fashionable conversation simple Sally was taken out of the room by Emilius without attracting notice she insisted on carrying her threadbare old clothes away with her in the box which had contained the new dress I want to look at them sometimes she said and think how much better off I am now Rufus was the last to take his departure he persisted in talking to the landlady all the way down the stairs and out to the street door while Emilius was waiting for his friend on the house steps a young man driving by in a cab leaned out and looked at him the young man was jervy on his way from Mr. Ronald's tombstone to doctor's commons end of book 6 chapter 2 book 6 chapter 3 of the fallen leaves this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Rita Butros the fallen leaves by Wilkie Collins book 6 chapter 3 where the rapid succession of events the morning had begun with a rapid succession of events the day went on the breakfast being over rooms at the hotel were engaged by Rufus for his two young friends after this the next thing to be done was to provide simple Sally with certain necessary but invisible articles of clothing which Emilius had never thought of a note to nearest shop produced the speedy arrival of a smart lady accompanied by a boy and a large basket there was some difficulty in persuading Sally to trust herself alone in her room as a stranger she was afraid poor soul of everybody but Emilius even the good American failed to win her confidence the distrust implanted in her feeble mind by the terrible life that she had led was the instinctive distrust of a wild animal why must I go among other people she whispered piteously to Emilius I only want to be with you because as completely useless to reason with her as it would have been to explain the advantages of a comfortable cage to a newly caught bird there was but one way of inducing her to submit to the most gently exerted interference Emilius had only to say do it Sally to please me and Sally sighed and did it in her absence Emilius reiterated his inquiries in relation to that unknown friend whom Rufus had not scrupled to describe as an angel barring the wings the lady in question the American briefly explained was an English woman the wife of one of his countrymen established in London as a merchant he had known them both intimately before their departure from the United States and the old friendship had been cordially renewed on his arrival in England associated with many other charitable institutions Mrs. Payson was one of the managing committee of a home for friendless women especially adapted to receive poor girls in Sally's melancholy position Rufus offered to write a note to Mrs. Payson inquiring at what hour he received his friend and himself and obtained permission for them to see the home Emilius after some hesitation accepted the proposal the messenger had not been long dispatched with the note before the smart person from the shop made her appearance once more reporting that the young lady's outfit had been perfectly arranged and presenting the inevitable result in the shape of a bill the last farthing of ready money in the possession of Emilius proved to be insufficient to discharge the debt he accepted a loan from Rufus until he could give his bankers the necessary order to sell out some of his money invested in the funds his answer when Rufus protested against this course was characteristic of the teaching which he owed to the community my dear fellow I am bound to return the money you have lent to me in the interest of our poor brethren the next friend who borrows of you may not have the means of paying you back after waiting for the return of simple Sally and waiting in vain Emilius sent a chambermaid to her room with a message to her Rufus disapproved of this hasty proceeding why disturb the girl at her looking glass asked the old bachelor with his quaintly humorous smile Sally came in with no bright pleasure in her eyes this time the girl looked worn and haggard she drew Emilius away into a corner and whispered to him I get a pain sometimes where the bruise is she said and I've got it bad now she glanced with an odd furt of jealousy at Rufus I kept away from you she explained because I didn't want him to know she stopped and put her hand on her bosom and clenched her teeth fast nevermind she said cheerfully as the pang passed away again I can bear it Emilius acting on impulse as usual instantly ordered the most comfortable carriage that the hotel possessed he had heard terrible stories of the possible result of an injury to a woman's bosom I shall take her to the best doctor in London he announced Sally whispered to him again still with her eye on Rufus is he going with us she asked no said Emilius one of us must stay here to receive a message Rufus looked after them very gravely as the two left the room together applying for information to the mistress of the hotel Emilius obtained the address of a consulting surgeon of great celebrity while Sally was getting ready to go out why don't you like my good friend upstairs he said to the girl as they drove away from the house the answer came swift and straight from the heart of the daughter of Eve because you like him Emilius changed the subject he asked if she was still in pain she shook her head impatiently pain or no pain the uppermost idea in her mind was still that idea of being his servant which had already found expression in words before they left the lodgings will you let me keep my beautiful new dress for going out on Sundays she asked the shabby old things will do when I am your servant I can black your boots and brush your clothes and keep your room tidy and I will try hard to learn if you will have me taught to cook Emilius attempted to change the subject again he might as well have talked to her in an unknown tone the glorious prospect of being his servant absorbed the whole of her attention I'm little and I'm stupid she went on but I do think I could learn to cook if I knew I was doing it for you she paused and looked at him anxiously do let me try she pleaded I haven't had much pleasure in my life and I should like it so it was impossible to resist this you shall be as happy as I can make you Sally Emilius answered God knows it isn't much you ask for something in those compassionate words set her thinking in another direction it was sad to see how slowly and painfully she realized the idea that had been suggested to her I wonder whether you can make me happy she said I suppose I have been happy before but I don't know when I don't remember a time when I was not hungry or cold wait a bit I do think I was happy once it was a long while ago and it took me a weary time to do it but I did learn at last to play a tune the old man and his wife took it in turns to teach me somebody gave me to the old man and his wife I don't know who it was and I don't remember their names they were musicians in the fine streets they sang hymns and in the poor streets they sang comic songs it was cold to be sure standing barefoot on the pavement but I got plenty of half pants the people said I was so little ashamed to send me out and so I got half pants I had bread and apples for supper and a nice little corner under the staircase to sleep in do you know I do think I did enjoy myself at that time she concluded still a little doubtful whether those faint and far off remembrances were really to be relied on Emilia's tried to lead her to other recollections he asked her how old she was when she played the fiddle I don't know she answered I don't know how old I am now I don't remember anything before the fiddle I can't call to mind how long it was first but there came a time when the old man and his wife got into trouble they went to prison and I never saw them afterwards I ran away with the fiddle to get the half pants you know all to myself I think I should have got a deal of money if it hadn't been for the boys they're so cruel the boys are they broke my fiddle I tried selling pencils after that but people didn't seem to want pencils they found me out begging I got took up and brought before the what do you call him the gentleman who sits in a high place you know behind a desk oh but I was frightened when they took me before the gentleman he looked very much puzzled he says bring her up here she's so small I can hardly see her he says good god what am I to do with this unfortunate child there was plenty of people about one of them says the work house ought to take her and a lady came in and she says I'll take her sir if you'll let me and he knew her and he let her she took me to a place they call a refuge for wandering children you know it was very strict at the refuge they did give us plenty to eat to be sure and they taught us lessons they told us about our father up in heaven I said a wrong thing I said I don't want him up in heaven I want him down here they were very much ashamed of me when I said that I was a bad girl I turned ungrateful after a time I ran away you see it was so strict and I was so used to the streets the scotch men in the streets he wore a kilt and played the pipes he taught me to dance and dressed me up like a scotch girl he had a curious wife a sort of half black woman she used to dance too on a bit of carpet you know so as not to spoil her fine shoes they taught me songs he taught me a scotch song and one day his wife said she was English I don't know how that was and I should learn an English song and they quarreled about it and she had her way she taught me Sally in our alley that's how I come to be called Sally I hadn't any name of my own I always had nicknames Sally was the last of them and Sally has stuck to me I hope it isn't too common a name to please you oh what a fine house are we really going in how stupid I am I forgot my beautiful clothes you won't tell them will you if they take me for a lady the carriage had stopped at the great surgeon's house the waiting room was full of patients some of them were trying to read the books and newspapers on the table and some of them were looking at each other not only without the slightest sympathy but occasionally even with downright distrust and dislike Amelia's took up a newspaper and gave Sally an illustrated book to amuse her while they waited to see the surgeon in their turn two long hours passed before the sermon summoned Amelia's to the consulting room Sally was weirdly asleep in her chair he left her undisturbed having questions to put relating to the imperfectly developed state of her mind she could not be asked in her presence the surgeon listened with no ordinary interest to the young stranger's simple and straightforward narrative of what had happened on the previous night you are very unlike other young men he said may I ask how you have been brought up the reply surprised him this opens quite a new view of socialism he said I thought your conduct highly impressed it seems to be the natural result of your teaching now let me see what I can do to help you he was very grave and very gentle when Sally was presented to him his opinion of the injury to her bosom relieved the anxiety of Amelia's there might be pain for some little time to come but there were no serious consequences to fear having written his prescription and having put several questions to Sally the surgeon sent her back with marked kindness of manner to wait for Amelia's in the patient's room I have young daughters of my own he said when the door was closed and I cannot but feel for that unhappy creature when I contrast her life with theirs so far as I can see it the natural growth of her senses her higher and her lower senses alike has been stunted like the natural growth of her body by starvation, terror exposure to cold and other influences inherent in the life that she has led with nourishing food pure air and above all kind and careful treatment I see no reason at her age why she should not develop into an intelligent and healthy young woman pardon me if I venture on giving you a word of advice at your time of life you will do well to place her at once under competent and proper care you may live to regret it if you are too confident in your own good motives in such a case as this come to me again if I can be of any use to you no he continued refusing to take his fee my help to that poor lost girl is help given freely he shook hands with Amelia's a worthy member of the noble order to which he belonged the surgeon's parting advice following on the quaint protest of Rufus had its effect on Amelia's he was silent and thoughtful when he got into the carriage again simple Sally looked at him with a vague sense of alarm her heart beat fast under the perpetually recurring fear that she had done something or said something to offend him was it bad behavior in me she asked to fall asleep in the chair reassured so far she was still as anxious as ever to get at the truth after a long hesitation and long previous thought she ventured to try another question the gentleman sent me out of the room did he say anything to set you against me the gentleman said everything that was kind of you Amelia's replied and everything to make me hope that you will live a happy girl she said nothing to that vague assurances were no assurances to her she only looked at him with the dumb fidelity of a dog suddenly she dropped on her knees in the carriage hid her face in her hands and cried silently surprised and distressed he attempted to raise her and console her no she said obstinately something has happened to vex you and you won't tell me what it is do do do tell me what it is my dear child said Amelia's I was only thinking anxiously about you in the time to come she looked up at him quickly what have you forgotten already she exclaimed I'm to be your servant in the time to come she dried her eyes and took her place again joyously by his side you did frighten me she said and all for nothing but you didn't mean it did you the older man might have had the courage to undeceive her Amelia's shrank from it he tried to lead her back to the melancholy story so common and so terrible so pitiable in its utter absence of sentiment or romance the story of her past life no she answered with that quick insight where her feelings were concerned which was the only quick insight that she possessed I don't like making you sorry and you did look sorry you did when I talked about it before the streets the streets the streets little girl or big girl it's only the streets and always being hungry or cold and cruel men when it isn't cruel boys I want to be happy I want to enjoy my new clothes you tell me about your own self what makes you so kind I can't make it out try as I may I can't make it out some time elapsed before they got back to the hotel Amelia's drove as far as the city to give the necessary instructions to his bankers on returning to the sitting room at last he discovered that his American friend was not alone a gray haired lady with a bright benevolent face was talking earnestly to Rufus the instant Sally discovered the stranger she started back fled to the shelter of her bed chamber and locked herself in Amelia's entering the room after a little hesitation was presented to mrs. Payson there was something in my old friend's note said the lady smiling and turning to Rufus which suggested to me that I should do well to answer it personally I am not too old yet to follow the impulse of the moment sometimes and I'm very glad I did so I have heard what is to me a very interesting story mr. Golden heart I respect you and I will prove it by helping you with all my heart and soul to save that poor little girl who has just run away from me pray don't make excuses for her I should have run away too at her age we have arranged she continued looking again at Rufus that I shall take you both to the home this afternoon if we can prevail on Sally to go with us one serious obstacle in our way will be overcome tell me the number of her room I want to try if I can't make friends with her I have had some experience and I don't despair of bringing her back here hand in hand with the terrible person who has frightened her the two men were left together Amelia's attempted to speak keep it down said Rufus no premature outbreak of opinion if you please yet a while wait till she has fixed Sally and shown us the paradise of the poor girls it's within the London postal district and that's all I know about it well now and did you go to the doctor thunder what's come to the boy seems as though he has left his complexion in the carriage he looks I do declare as if he wanted medical tinkering himself Amelia's explained that his past night had been a wakeful one and that the events of the day had not allowed him any opportunities of repose since the morning he said things have hurried so one on the top of the other that I am beginning to feel a little dazed and weary without a word of remark Rufus produced the remedy the materials were ready on the sideboard he made a cocktail another he asked the new englander after a reasonable lapse of time Amelia's declined taking another he stretched himself on the sofa his good friend considerably took up a newspaper for the first time that day he had now the prospect of a quiet interval for rest and thought in less than a minute the delusive prospect vanished he started to his feet again disturbed by a new anxiety having to think he had thought of Regina good heavens he exclaimed she's waiting to see me and I never remembered it till this moment he looked at his watch it was five o'clock what am I to do he said helplessly Rufus laid down the newspaper and considered the new difficulty in its various aspects we are bound to go with mrs. Payson to the home he said and I tell you this Amelia's the sally is not a matter to be played with it's a thing that's got to be done in your place I should write politely to mrs. Regina and put it off till tomorrow in 99 cases out of 100 a man who took Rufus for his counselor was a man who acted wisely in every sense of the word events however of which Amelia's and his friend were both ignorant alike had so ordered it that the Americans well advice in this one exceptional case was the very worst advice that could have been given in an hour more and mrs. Sauer were to meet at the tavern door the one last hope of protecting mrs. Farneby from the abominable conspiracy of which she was the destined victim rested solely on the fulfillment by Amelia's of his engagement with Regina for that day always ready to interfere with the progress mrs. Farneby would be especially eager to seize the first opportunity of speaking to her young socialist friend on the subject of his lecture in the course of the talk between them the idea which in the present disturbed state of his mind had not struck him yet the idea that the outcast of the streets might by the barest conceivable possibility be identified with the lost daughter would in one way or another be almost infallibly suggested to Amelia's and at the 11th hour the conspiracy would be foiled if on the other hand the Americans fatal advice was followed the next morning's post might bring a letter from Jervie to mrs. Farneby with this disastrous result at the first word spoken by Amelia's she would put an end to all further interest in the subject on his part by telling him that the lost girl had been found and found by another person Rufus pointed to the writing materials on a side table which he had himself used earlier in the day the needful excuse was unhappily quite easy to find a misunderstanding with his lady had obliged Amelia's to leave his lodgings at an hour's notice and had occupied him in trying to find a new residence for the rest the note was written Rufus who was nearest to the bell stretched out his hand to ring for the messenger Amelia's suddenly stopped him she doesn't like me to disappoint her he said I needn't stay long I might get there and back in half an hour in a fast cab his conscience was not quite easy the sense of having forgotten Regina no matter how naturally inexcusably oppressed him with a feeling of self-reproach Rufus raised no objection the hesitation of Amelia's was unquestionably creditable to him if you must do it my son he said do it right away and we'll wait for you Amelia's took up his hat the door opened as he approached it and Mrs. Payson entered the room leading simple Sally by the hand we are all going together said the genial old lady I see my large family of daughters at the home we can have our talk in the carriage it's an hour's drive from this place and I must be back again to dinner at half past seven Amelia's and Rufus looked at each other Amelia's thought of pleading and engagement and asking to be excused under the circumstances it was assuredly not a very gracious thing to do before he could make up his mind one way or the other Sally stole to his side and put her hand on his arm Mrs. Payson had done wonders in conquering the girls in veteran distrust of strangers and to a certain extent at least winning her confidence but no early influence could shake Sally's dog-like devotion to Amelia's her jealous instinct discovered something suspicious in his sudden silence you must go with us she said to you certainly not Mrs. Payson added I promised her that of course beforehand Rufus rang the bell and dispatched the messenger to Regina that's the one way out of it my son he whispered to Amelia's as they followed Mrs. Payson and Sally down the stairs of the hotel they had just driven up to the gates of the home when Jervie and his accomplice met at the tavern in a private room in spite of her poverty-stricken appearance Mrs. Sauer was not absolutely destitute in various underhand and wicked ways she contrived to put a few shillings in her pocket from week to week if she was half-starved it was for the very ordinary reason among persons of her vicious class that she preferred spending her money on drink dating his business with her happily and as cunningly as usual Jervie found to his astonishment that even this squalid old creature presumed to bargain with him the two wretches were on the point of a quarrel which might have delayed the execution of the plot against Mrs. Farnaby but for the vile self-control which made Jervie one of the most formidable criminals living he gave way on the question of money and from that moment he had Mrs. Sauer absolutely at his disposal meet me tomorrow morning to receive your instructions he said the time is 10 sharp and the place is the powder magazine in Hyde Park and mind this you must be decently dressed you know where to hire the things if I smell you of spirits tomorrow morning I shall employ somebody else no not a farthing now you will have your money first installment only mind tomorrow at 10 left by himself Jervie sent for pen ink and paper using his left hand which was just as serviceable to him as his right he traced these lines you are informed by an unknown friend that a certain lost young lady is now living in a foreign country and may be restored to her afflicted mother on receipt of a sufficient income to pay expenses and to reward the writer of this letter who is undeservedly in distressed circumstances are you Madam the mother I ask the question in the strictest confidence knowing nothing certainly but that your husband was the person who put the young lady out to nurse in her infancy I don't address your husband because his inhuman desertion of the poor baby does not incline me to trust him in the risk of trusting you to a certain extent at starting shall I drop a hint which may help you to identify the child in your own mind it would be inexcusably foolish on my part to speak too plainly just yet the hint must be a vague one suppose I use a poetical expression and say that the young lady is enveloped in mystery from head to foot especially the foot in the event of my addressing the person I beg to offer a suggestion for a preliminary interview if you will take a walk on the bridge over the serpentine river on Kensington garden side at half past 10 o'clock tomorrow morning holding a white handkerchief in your left hand you will meet the much injured woman who is deceived into taking charge of the infant child at Ramsgate and will be satisfied so far that you are giving a chance to persons who really deserve it Jervie addressed this infamous letter to Mrs. Farnaby in an ordinary envelope marked private he posted it that night with his own hand end of book 6 chapter 3 book 6 Philia Dolorosa chapter 4 of The Fallen Leaves this is a LibriVox recording are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Rita Butros The Fallen Leaves by Wilkie Collins book 6 chapter 4 Rufus I don't quite like the way you look at me you seem to think give it tongue my son what do I seem to think you think I'm forgetting Regina you don't believe I'm just as fond of her as ever the fact is you're an old bachelor that is so where's the harm Emilius I don't understand you're out there my bright boy I reckon I understand more than you think for the wisest thing you ever did in your life is what you did this evening when you committed Sally to the care of those ladies at the home good night Rufus we shall quarrel if I stay here any longer good night Emilius we shan't quarrel stay here as long as you like the good deed had been done the sacrifice already a painful sacrifice had been made Mrs. Payson was old enough to speak plainly as well as seriously to Emilius of the absolute necessity of separating himself from simple Sally without any needless delay you have seen for yourself she said that the plan on which this little household is ruled is the unvarying plan of patience and kindness so far as Sally is concerned you can be quite sure that she will never hear a harsh word never meet with a hard look while she is under our care the lamentable neglect under which the poor creature has suffered will be tenderly remembered and atoned for here to make her happy among us I promise that she shall leave the home if she wishes it in six weeks time as to yourself consider your position if you persist in taking her back with you our good friend Rufus has told me that you are engaged to be married think of the misinterpretations to say the least of it to which you would subject yourself think of the reports which would sooner or later find their way and of the deplorable consequences that would follow I believe implicitly in the purity of your motives but remember who taught us to pray that we may not be led into temptation and complete the good work that you have begun by leaving Sally among friends and sisters in this house to any honorable man these were unanswerable words coming after what Rufus and the surgeon had already said to him they left Amelia's no alternative but to yield he pleaded for leave to write to Sally and to see her at a later interval when she might be reconciled to her new life Mrs. Payson had just consented to both requests Rufus had just heartily congratulated him on his decision when the door was thrown violently open simple Sally ran into the room followed by one of the women attendants in a state of breathless surprise she showed me a bedroom cried Sally pointing indignantly to the woman and she asked if I should like to sleep there she turned to Amelia's and caught him by the hand to lead him away the ineradicable instinct of distrust had been once more aroused in her by the two zealous attendant I'm not going to stay here she said I'm going away with you Amelia's glanced at Mrs. Payson Sally tried to drag him to the door he did his best to reassure her by a smile he spoke confusedly some composing words but his honest face always accustomed to tell the truth told the truth now the poor lost creature whose feeble intelligence was so slow to discern so inept to reflect looked at him with the heart's instantaneous perception she let go of his hand her head sank without word or cry she dropped at the floor at his feet the attendant instantly raised her and placed her on a sofa Mrs. Payson saw how resolutely Amelia struggled to control himself and felt for him with all her heart turning aside for a moment she hastily wrote a few lines and returned to him go before we revive her she whispered and give what I have written to the coachman you shall suffer no anxiety that I can spare you said the excellent woman I will stay here myself tonight and reconcile her to the new life she held out her hand Amelia's kissed it in silence Rufus led him out not a word dropped from his lips on the long drive back to London his mind was disturbed by other subjects the subject of Sally he thought of his future darkened by the doubtful marriage engagement that was before him alone with Rufus for the rest of the evening he petulantly misunderstood the sympathy with which the kindly American regarded him their bedrooms were next to each other Rufus heard him walking restlessly to and fro and now and then talking to himself after a while these sounds ceased he was evidently worn out and was getting the rest that he needed at last the next morning he received a few lines from mrs. Payson giving a favorable account of Sally and promising further particulars in a day or two encouraged by this good news revived by a long night's sleep he went towards noon to pay his postponed visit to Regina at that early hour he could feel sure that his interview with her would not be interrupted by visitors she received him quietly and seriously pressing his hand with a warmer fondness than usual he had anticipated some complaint of his absence on the previous day and some severe allusion to his appearance in the capacity of a socialist lecturer Regina's indulgence or Regina's interest in circumstances of more pressing importance preserved a merciful silence on both subjects it is a comfort to me to seal you Amelia's she said I am in trouble about my uncle and I am weary of my own anxious thoughts something unpleasant has happened in Mr. Farnaby's business he goes to the city earlier and he returns much later than usual when he does come back he doesn't speak to me he locks himself into his room and he looks worn and haggard I make his breakfast for him in the morning you know that he is one of the directors of the new bank there was something about the bank in the newspaper yesterday which upset him dreadfully he put down his cup of coffee and went away to the city without eating his breakfast I don't like to worry you about it Amelia's but my aunt seems to take no interest in her husband's affairs and it is really a relief to me to talk of my troubles to you I have kept the newspaper do look at what it says about the bank and tell me if you understand it Amelia's read the passage pointed out to him he knew as little of banking business as Regina so far I can make it out he said they're paying away money to their shareholders which they haven't earned how do they do that I wonder Regina changed the subject and despair she asked Amelia's if he had found anything hearing that he had not yet succeeded in the search for a residence she opened a drawer of her work table and took out a card the brother of one of my school fellows is going to be married she said he has a pretty bachelor cottage in the neighborhood of the regents park and he wants to sell it with the furniture just as it is I don't know whether you care to encumber yourself with a little house of your own and distribute some of his cards with the address and the particulars it might be worth your while perhaps to look at the cottage when you pass that way Amelia's took the card the small feminine restraints and gentlenesses of Regina her quiet even voice her serene grace of movement had a pleasantly soothing effect on his mind after the anxieties of the last four and twenty hours he looked at her embroidery deftly and gracefully industrious and drew his chair closer to her she smiled softly over her work conscious that he was admiring her and placidly pleased to receive the tribute I would buy the cottage at once said Amelia's if I thought you would come and live in it with me she looked up gravely with her needle suspended in her hand don't let us return to that she answered and went on again why not Amelia's asked she persisted in working as industriously as if she had been a poor needle woman with serious reasons for being eager to get her money it is useless she replied to speak of what cannot be for some time to come Amelia's stopped the progress of the embroidery by taking her hand her devotion to her work irritated him look at me Regina he said steadily controlling himself I will weigh a little on both sides I won't hurry you I will wait a reasonable time if I promise that surely you may yield a little in return money seems to be a hard task master my darling after what you have told me about your uncle see how he suffers because he is bent on being rich and ask yourself if it isn't a warning to us not to follow his example would you like to see me too wretched to speak to you or to eat my breakfast and all for the sake of a little outward show come come let us think of ourselves why should we waste the best days of our life apart when we are both free to be happy together I have another good friend besides Rufus the good friend of my father before me he knows all sorts of great people and he will help me to some employment in six months time I might have a little salary to add to my income say the sweetest words my darling that ever fell from your lips say you will marry me in six months it was not in a woman's nature to be insensible to such pleading as this she all but yielded I should like to say it dear she answered with a little fluttering sigh say it then Emilia suggested tenderly she took refuge again in her embroidery if you would only give me a little time to say it time for what my own love time to wait dear till my uncle is not quite so anxious as he is now don't talk of your uncle Regina you know as well as I do what he would say good heavens why can't you decide for yourself no I don't want to hear over again about what you owe to Mr. Farnaby I heard enough of it on that day in the shrubbery oh my dear girl do have some for me do for once have a will of your own those last words were an offence to her self-esteem I think it's very rude to tell me I have no will of my own she said and very hard to press in this way when you know I am in trouble the inevitable handkerchief appeared adding emphasis to the protest and the becoming tears showed themselves modestly in Regina's magnificent eyes Emilius started out of his chair and walked away to the window that last reference to Mr. Farnaby's pecuniary cares was more than he had patience to endure she can't even forget her uncle and his bank he thought when I am speaking to her of our marriage he kept his face hidden from her at the window by some subtle process of association which he was unable to trace the image of simple Sally rose in his mind an irresistible influence forced him to think of her not as the poor starved degraded half-witted creature of the streets but as the grateful girl who had asked for no happier future than to be his servant who had dropped senseless at his feet at the bare prospect of parting with him his sense of self-respect his loyalty to his betrothed wife resolutely resisted the unworthy conclusion to which his own thoughts were leading him he turned back again to Regina he spoke so loudly and so vehemently that the gathering flow of her tears was suspended in surprise you're right, you're quite right my dear I ought to give you time of course I try to control my hasty temper but I don't always succeed just at first pray forgive me it shall be exactly as you wish Regina forgave him with a gentle and ladylike astonishment at the excitable manner in which he made his excuses she even neglected her embroidery and put her face up to him to be kissed you are so nice dear she said when you are not violent and unreasonable it is such a pity you were brought up in America won't you stay to lunch happily for Emilius the footman appeared at this critical moment with a message my mistress wishes particularly to see you sir before you go this was the first occasion in the experience of the lovers on which Mrs. Farnaby had expressed her wishes through the medium of a servant instead of appearing personally the curiosity of Regina was mildly excited what a very odd message she said what does it mean my aunt went out earlier than usual this morning and I have not seen her since I wonder whether she is going to consult you about my uncle's affairs I'll go and see said Emilius and stay to lunch Regina reiterated not today my dear tomorrow then yes tomorrow so he escaped as he opened the door he looked back and kissed his hand Regina raised her head for a moment and smiled charmingly she was hard at work again over her embroidery end of book 6 chapter 4 chapter 5 the fallen leaves this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Rita Butros the fallen leaves by Wilkie Collins book 6 chapter 5 the door of Mrs. Farnaby's ground floor room at the back of the house was partially open she was on the watch for Emilius come in she cried the moment he appeared in the hall she pulled him into the room and shut the door with a bang her face was flushed her eyes were wild I have something to tell you my dear good fellow she burst out excitedly something in confidence between you and me she paused and looked at him with sudden anxiety and alarm no matter with you she asked the sight of the room the reference to a secret the prospect of another private conference forced back the mind of Emilius in one breathless instant to his first memorable interview with Mrs. Farnaby the mother's piteously hopeful words in speaking of her lost daughter rang in his ears again as if they had just fallen from her lips she may be lost in the labyrinth of London tomorrow or ten years hence you might meet with her there were a hundred chances against it a thousand ten thousand chances against it the startling possibility flashed across his brain nevertheless like a sudden flow of daylight across the dark have I met with her at the first chance wait he cried I have something to say before you speak to me don't deceive yourself with vain hopes promise me that before I begin she waved her hand derisively hopes she repeated I have done with hopes I have done with fears I have got to certainties at last he was too eager to heed anything that she said to him his whole soul was absorbed in the coming disclosure two nights since he went on I was wondering about London and I met she burst out laughing go on she cried with a wild derisive Amelia stopped perplexed and startled what are you laughing at he asked go on she repeated I defy you to surprise me out with it whom did you meet Amelia's proceeded doubtfully by a word at a time I met a poor girl in the streets he said steadily watching her she changed completely at those words she looked at him with an aspect of stern reproach no more of it she interposed I have not waited all these miserable years for such a horrible end as that her face suddenly brightened a radiant diffusion of tenderness and triumph flowed over it and made it young and happy again Amelia's she said listen to this my dream has come true my girl is found thanks to you though you don't know it Amelia's looked at her was she speaking of something that had really happened or had she been dreaming again absorbed in her own happiness she made no remark on his silence I have seen the woman she went on this bright blessed morning I have seen the woman who took her away in the first days of her poor little life the wretch swears she was not to blame I tried to forgive her perhaps I almost did forgive her in the joy of hearing what she had to tell me I should never have heard it Amelia's if you had not given that glorious lecture and was one of your audience she would never have spoken of those past days she would never have thought of me at those words Mrs. Farnaby abruptly stopped and turned her face away from Amelia's after waiting a little finding her still silent still immovable he ventured on putting a question are you sure you are not deceived he asked I remember you told me that rogues had tried to impose on you in past times when you employed people to find her I have proof that I am not being imposed upon Mrs. Farnaby answered still keeping her face hidden from him one of them knows of the fault in her foot one of them Amelia's repeated how many of them are there two the old woman and a young man what are their names they won't tell me their names yet isn't that a little suspicious one of them knows Mrs. Farnaby moderated of the fault in her foot may I ask which of them knows the old woman I suppose no the young man that's strange isn't it have you seen the young man I know nothing of him except a little that the woman told me he has written me a letter may I look at it I dare not let you look at it Amelia said no more if he had felt the smallest suspicion that the disclosure volunteered by Mrs. Farnaby had been overheard by the unknown person who had opened the swinging window in the kitchen he might have recalled Phoebe's vindictive language at his lodgings and the doubts suggested to him by his discovery of the vagabond waiting for her in the street as it was he was simply puzzled the one plain conclusion to his mind was unhappily the natural conclusion after what he had heard that Mrs. Farnaby had no sort of interest in the discovery of simple Sally and that he need trouble himself with no further anxiety in that matter strange as Mrs. Farnaby's mysterious revelation seemed her correspondence knowledge of the fault in the foot was circumstance in his favor beyond dispute Amelia still wondered inwardly how it was that the woman who had taken charge of the child had failed to discover what appeared to be known to another person if he had been aware that Mrs. Sauer's occupation at the time was the occupation of a baby farmer and that she had many other deserted children pining under her charge he might have easily understood that she was the last person in the world to trouble herself with a minute examination of any one of the unfortunate little creatures abandoned to her drunken and merciless neglect Jervie had satisfied himself before he trusted her with his instructions that she knew no more than the various stranger of any peculiarity in one or the other of the child's feet interpreting Mrs. Farnaby's last reply to him as an intimation that their interview was at an end Amelia's took up his hat to go I hope with all my heart he said that what has begun so well will end well if there is any service that I can do for you she drew nearer to him with her hand gently on his shoulder don't think that I distrust you she said very earnestly I am unwilling to shock you that is all even this great joy has a dark side to it my miserable married life casts a shadow on everything that happens to me keep secret from everybody the little that I have told you you will ruin me if you say one word of it to any living creature I ought not to have opened my heart to you to help it when the happiness that is coming to me has come through you when you say goodbye to me today Amelia's you say goodbye to me for the last time in this house I am going away don't ask me why that is one more among the things which I dare and tell you you shall hear from me or see me I promise that give me some safe address to write to some place where there are no inquisitive women she handed him her pocketbook Amelia's wrote down in it the address of his club she took his hand think of me kindly she said and once more don't be afraid of my being deceived there is a hard part of me still left which keeps me on my guard the old woman tried this morning to make me talk to her about that little fault we know of in my child's foot but I thought to myself if you had taken a proper interest in my poor baby while she was with you you must sooner or later have found it out not a word past my lips no no don't be anxious when you think of me I am as sharp as they are I mean to find out how the man who wrote to me discovered what he knows he shall satisfy me I promise you when I see him or hear from him next all this is between ourselves strictly, sacredly between ourselves say nothing I know I can trust you goodbye and forgive me for having been so often in your way with Regina I shall never be in your way again marry her if you think she is good enough for you I have no more interest now in your being a roving bachelor meeting with girls here there and everywhere you shall know how it goes on oh I am so happy she burst into tears and signed to Emilius with a wild gesture of treaty to leave her he pressed her hand in silence and went out almost as the door closed on him the variable woman changed again for a while she walked rapidly to and fro talking to herself the course of her tears ceased her lips closed firmly her eyes assumed an expression of savage resolve she sat down at the table and opened her desk I'll read it once more she said to herself before I seal it up from her desk a letter of her own writing and spread it out before her with her elbows on the table and her hands clasped fiercely in her hair she read those lines addressed to her husband John Farnaby I have always suspected that you had something to do with the disappearance of our child I know for certain now that you deliberately cast your infant daughter on the mercy of the world and condemned your wife to a life of wretchedness don't suppose that I have been deceived I have spoken with the woman who waited by the garden pailing at Ramsgate and who took the child from your hands she saw you with me at the lecture and she is absolutely sure that you are the man thanks to the meeting at the lecture hall I am at last on the trace of my lost daughter this morning I heard the woman's story she kept the child on the chance of its being reclaimed until before to keep it no longer she met with a person who was willing to adopt it and who took it away with her to a foreign country not mentioned to me yet in that country my daughter is still living and will be restored to me on conditions which will be communicated in a few days time some of this story may be true and some of it may be false the woman may be lying to serve her own interests with me of one thing I am sure the girl is identified by means known to me of which there can be no doubt and she must be still living because the interest of the persons treating with me is an interest in her life when you receive this letter on your return from business tonight I shall have left you and left you forever the bare thought of even looking at you again fills me with horror I have my own income and I mean to take my own way I warn you make no attempt to trace me I declare solemnly that rather than let your deserted daughter be polluted by the sight of you I would kill you with my own hand and die for it on the scaffold if she ever asks for her father I will do you one service for the honor of human nature I will tell her that her father is dead it will not be all of falsehood I repudiate you and your name you are dead to me from this time forth I sign myself by my father's name Emma Ronald she had said herself that she was unwilling to shock Emilius this was the reason after thinking a little she sealed and directed the letter this done she unlocked the wooden press which had once contained the baby's frock and cap and those other memorials of the past which she called her dead consolations after satisfying herself that the press was empty she wrote on a card to be called for by a messenger from my bankers and tied the card to a tin box in a corner secured by a padlock she lifted the box and placed it in front of the press so that it might be easily visible to anyone entering the room the safekeeping of her treasures provided for she took the sealed letter and ascending the stairs placed it on the table in her husband's dressing room she hurried out again the instant after as if the sight of the place were intolerable to her passing to the other end of the corridor she entered her own bed chamber and put on her bonnet and cloak a leather handbag was on the bed she took it up and looked round the large luxurious room with a shutter of disgust what she had suffered within those four walls no human creature knew but herself she hurried out as she had hurried out of her husband's dressing room her niece was still in the drawing room as she reached the door she hesitated and stopped the girl was a good girl in her own dull placid way and her sister's daughter too a last little act of kindness would perhaps be a welcome act to remember she opened the door so suddenly that Regina started with a small cry of alarm oh and how you frightened one are you going out? yes I'm going out was the short answer come here give me a kiss Regina looked up in wide-eyed astonishment Mrs. Farnaby stamped impatiently on the floor Regina rose gracefully bewildered my dear aunt how very odd she said and gave the kiss demanded with a serenely surprised elevation of her finely shaped eyebrows yes said Mrs. Farnaby that's it one of my oddities go back to your work goodbye she left the room as abruptly as she had entered it with her firm heavy step she descended to the hall passed out at the house door and closed it behind her never to return to it again end of book 6 chapter 5 book 6 chapter 6 the fallen leaves this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Rita Butros The Fallen Leaves by Wilkie Collins book 6 Filia Dolorosa chapter 6 Amelia's left Mrs. Farnaby troubled by emotions of confusion and alarm she was the last man living to endure patiently her extraordinary story of the discovered daughter the still more startling assertion of her solution to leave the house the absence of any plain explanation the burden of secrecy imposed on him all combined together to irritate his sensitive nerves I hate mysteries he thought and ever since I landed in England I seem faded to be mixed up in them does she really mean to leave her husband and her niece what will Farnaby do what will become of Regina to think of Regina was to think of the new repulse of which he had been made the subject again he had appealed to her love for him and again she had refused to marry him at his own time he was especially perplexed and angry when he reflected on the unassailably strong influence which her uncle appeared to have over her Regina's sympathy was with Mr. Farnaby and his troubles Emilius might have understood her a little better if she had told him what had passed between her uncle and herself on the night of Mr. Farnaby's return in a state of indignation from the lecture in terror of the engagement being broken off she had been forced to confess that she was too fond of Emilius to prevail on herself to part with him if he attempted a second socialist principles on the platform she owned that it might be impossible to receive him again as a suitor but she pleaded hard for the granting of a pardon to the first offense in the interest of her own tranquility if not in mercy to Emilius Mr. Farnaby already troubled by his commercial anxieties had listened more amiably and also more absently than usual and had granted her petition to the indulgence of a preoccupied man it had been decided between them that the offense of the lecture should be passed over in discreet silence Regina's gratitude for this concession inspired her sympathy with her uncle in his present state of suspense she had been sorely tempted to tell Emilius what had happened but the natural reserve of her character fortified in this instance by the defensive pride of a woman unwilling before marriage to confess her weakness unreservedly to the man who has caused it had sealed her lips when he is a little less violent and a little more humble she thought perhaps I may tell him so it fell out that Emilius took his way through the streets a mystified and an angry man arrived inside of the hotel he stopped and looked about him it was impossible to disguise from himself that a lurking sense of regret was making itself felt in his present frame of mind when he thought of simple Sally in all probability he would have quarreled with any man who had accused him of actually lamenting the girl's absence and wanting her back again he happened to recollect her artless blue eyes with their vague patient look and her quaint childish questions put so openly and so sweet a voice and that was all was there anything reprehensible to these in an act of remembrance? comforting himself with these considerations he moved on again a step or two and stopped once more in his present humor he shrank from facing Rufus the American read him like a book the American would ask irritating questions he turned his back on the hotel and looked at his watch as he took it out his finger and thumb touched something else in his waistcoat pocket it was the card that Regina had given to him the card of the cottage to let he had nothing to do and nowhere to go why not look at the cottage if it proved to be not worth seeing the zoological gardens were in the neighborhood and there were periods in a man's life when he finds the society that walks on four feet a welcome relief from the society that walks on two it was a fairly fine day he turned northward towards the region's park the cottage was in a by-road just outside the park a cottage in the strictest sense of the word a sitting room, a library, and a bedroom all of small proportions and under them a kitchen and two more rooms represented the whole of the little dwelling from top to bottom it was simply and prettily furnished and it was completely surrounded by its own tiny plot of garden ground the library especially was a perfect little retreat looking out on the back garden peaceful and shady and adorned with bookcases of old carved oak Emilius had hardly looked around the room before his inflammable brain was on fire with a new idea other idol men in trouble had found the solace and the occupation of their lives in books why should he not be one of them why not plunge into study in this delightful retirement and perhaps one day astonish Regina and Mr. Farnaby by bursting on the world as the writer of a famous book exactly as Emilius two days since had seen himself in the future a public lecturer in receipt of glorious fees so he now saw himself the celebrated scholar and writer of a new era to come the woman who showed the cottage happened to mention that a gentleman had already looked over it that morning and had seemed to like it Emilius instantly gave her a shilling and said, I take it on the spot the wondering woman referred him to the house agents address and kept at a safe distance from the excitable stranger as she let him out in less than another hour Emilius had taken the cottage and had returned to the hotel with a new interest in life and a new surprise for Rufus as usual in cases of emergency the American wasted no time in talking he went out at once to see the cottage and to make his own inquiries of the agent the result amply proved that Emilius had not been imposed upon if he repented of his bargain the gentleman who had first seen the cottage was ready to take it off his hands at a moment's notice going back to the hotel Rufus found Emilius resolute to move into his new abode and eager for the coming life of study and retirement knowing perfectly well beforehand how this latter project would end the American tried the efficacy of a little worldly temptation he had arranged, he said to have a good time of it in Paris and he proposed that Emilius should be his companion the suggestion produced not the slightest effect Emilius talked as if he were a confirmed recluse in the decline of life thank you he said with the most amazing gravity I prefer the company of my books and the seclusion of my study this declaration was followed by more selling out of money in the funds and by a visit to a bookseller which left a handsome pecuniary result inscribed on the right side of the ledger on the next day Emilius presented himself towards 2 o'clock at Mr. Farnaby's house he was not so selfishly absorbed in his own projects as to forget Mrs. Farnaby on the contrary he was honestly anxious for news of her a certain middle-aged man of business has been briefly referred to in these pages as one of Regina's faithful admirers patiently submitting to the triumph of his favored young rival this gentleman issuing from his carriage with his card case ready in his hand met Emilius at the door with a face which announced plainly that a catastrophe had happened you have heard the sad news no doubt he said in a rich bass voice attuned to sadly courteous tones the servant opened the door before Emilius could answer after a contest of politeness the middle-aged gentleman consented to make his inquiries first Mr. Farnaby no better? and Mrs. Regina very poorly oh dear dear me say I called if you please he handed in two cards with a severe enjoyment of the melancholy occasion and the rich bass sounds of his own voice very sad is it not he said addressing his youthful rival with an air of paternal indulgence good morning he bowed with melancholy grace and got into his carriage Emilius looked after the prosperous merchant as the prancing horses drew him away after all he thought bitterly she might be happier with that rich prig than she could be with me he stepped into the hall and spoke to the servant the man had his message ready Mrs. Regina would see Mr. Goldenheart if he would be so good as to wait in the dining room Regina appeared pale and scared her eyes inflamed with weeping oh Emilius can you tell me what dreadful misfortune means why has she left us when she sent for you yesterday what did she say in his position Emilius could make but one answer your aunt said she thought of going away but he added with perfect truth she refused to tell me why or where she was going I am quite as much at a loss to understand her as you are what does your uncle propose to do Mr. Farnaby's conduct as described by Regina in the mystery he proposed to do nothing he had been found on the hearth rug in his dressing room having apparently been seized with a fit in the act of burning some paper the ashes were discovered close by him just inside the fender on his recovery his first anxiety was to know if a letter had been burnt satisfied on this point he had ordered the servants to assemble around his bed and had peremptorily forbidden them to their mistress if she ever returned at any future time to the house Regina's questions and remonstrances when she was left alone with him were answered once for all in these pitiless terms if you wish to deserve the fatherly interest that I take in you do as I do forget that such a person as your aunt ever existed we shall quarrel if you ever mention her name in my hearing again this said he had instantly changed the subject instructing Regina to write an excuse to Mr. Melton otherwise the middle aged rival with whom he had been engaged to dine that evening relating this latter event Regina's ever ready gratitude overflowed in the direction of Mr. Melton he was so kind he left his guests in the evening and came and sat with my uncle for nearly an hour Emilius made no remark on this he led the conversation back to the subject of Mrs. Farnaby she once spoke to me of her lawyers he said do they know nothing about her the answer to this question showed that the sternly final decision of Mr. Farnaby was matched by equal resolution on the part of his wife one of the partners in the legal firm had called that morning to see Regina on a matter of business Mrs. Farnaby had appeared at the office on the previous day and had briefly expressed her wish to make a small annual provision for her niece a future need declining to enter into any explanation she had waited until the necessary document had been drawn out had requested that Regina might be informed of the circumstance and had then taken her departure in absolute silence hearing that she had left her husband the lawyer like everyone else was completely at a loss to understand what it meant and what does the doctor say Emilius asked next my uncle is to be kept perfectly quiet Regina answered and is not to return to business for some time to come Mr. Melton with his usual kindness has undertaken to look after his affairs for him otherwise my uncle in his present state of anxiety about the bank would never have consented to obey the doctor's orders when he can safely travel he is recommended to go abroad for the winter and get well again he refuses to leave his business and the doctor refuses to take the responsibility there is to be a consultation of physicians tomorrow oh Emilius I was really fond of my aunt I am heartbroken at this dreadful change there was a momentary silence if Mr. Melton had been present he would have said a few neatly sympathetic words Emilius knew no more than a savage of the art of conventional consolation Tadmore had made him familiar with the social and political questions of the time and had taught him to speak in public but Tadmore, rich in books and newspapers was a powerless training institution in the matter of small talk suppose Mr. Farnaby is obliged to go abroad he suggested after waiting a little what will you do Regina looked at him with an air of melancholy surprise I shall do my duty of course she answered gravely my dear uncle if he wishes it she glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece it is time he took his medicine she resumed you will excuse me I am sure she shook hands not very warmly and hastened out of the room Emilius left the house with a conviction which disheartened him the conviction that he had never understood Regina and that he was not likely to understand her in the future he turned for relief to the consideration of Mr. Farnaby's strange conduct under the domestic disaster which had befallen him recalling what he had observed for himself and what he had heard from Mrs. Farnaby when she had first taken him into her confidence he inferred that the subject of the lost child had not only been a subject of estrangement between the husband and wife but that the husband was in some way the person blamable for it assuming this theory to be the right one there would be serious obstacles for the mother and child in the mother's home the departure of Mrs. Farnaby was in that case no longer unintelligible and Mr. Farnaby's otherwise inexplicable conduct had the light of a motive thrown on it which might not unnaturally influence a hard-hearted man weary alike of his wife and his wife's troubles arriving at this conclusion by a far shorter process than is here indicated Emilius pursued the subject no further at the time when he had first visited the Farnaby's Rufus had advised him to withdraw from closer intercourse with them while he had the chance in his present mood he was almost in danger of acknowledging to himself that Rufus had proved to be right he lunched with his American friend at the hotel before the meal was over Mrs. Payson called to say a few cheering words about Sally it was not to be denied that she remained persistently silent and reserved in other respects the report was highly favorable she was obedient to the rules of the house she was always ready with any little services that she could render to her companions and she was so eager to improve herself by means of her reading lessons and writing lessons that it was not easy to induce her to lay aside her book and her slate when the teacher offered her some small reward for her good conduct she asked what she would like the sad little face brightened and the faithful creature's answer was always the same I should like to know what he is doing now alas for Sally he meant Emilius you must wait a little longer before you write to her Mrs. Payson concluded and you must not think of seeing her for some time to come I know you will help us by consenting to this for Sally's sake Emilius bowed in silence he would not have confessed what he felt at that moment to any living soul it is doubtful if he even confessed it to himself Mrs. Payson, absorbing him with a woman's keen sympathy, relented a little I might give her a message the good lady suggested just to say you are glad to hear she is behaving so well will you give her this Emilius asked he took from his pocket a little photograph of the cottage which he had noticed on the house agent's desk and had taken away with him it is my cottage now he explained in tones that faltered a little I am going to live there Sally might like to see it Sally shall see it Mrs. Grayson agreed if you will only let me take this away first she pointed to the address of the cottage printed under the photograph past experience in the home made her reluctant to trust Sally with the address in London at which Emilius was to be found Rufus produced a huge complex knife out of the depth of which a pair of scissors burst on touching a spring Mrs. Payson cut off the address and placed the photograph in her pocket book now she said Sally will be happy and no harm can come of it I've known you ma'am, nigh on 20 years Rufus remarked I do assure you that's the first rash observation I ever heard from your lips End of book 6 Chapter 6