Hey everybody Hello, I Know everybody accepts. I don't have him at you. What's your name? Stephen Stephen. Nice to meet you Stephen and brother I don't know your name Paul nice to see you guys. Yeah So brother Mike's not here today and we thought it was gonna be Rick and then it's me Yeah, and then more people are coming so that's good Let me just open in a little prayer. Okay Father God, thank you so much for bringing us all here together today We came here to learn more Lord more about you more about this process of deliverance more about ministering to others so father I pray that you bless this gathering and Help me communicate that which you've put before me to communicate Lord, I thank you for every person here and Later when we pray Lord, we have a high expectation of healing and deliverance. I pray in Jesus name. Amen All right, so just for the youtubers. My name is Julie Andrews I'm one of the counselors here at the Arizona Deliverance Center, and this is ministry training Saturday morning So brother Michael he texts me yesterday. Hey, could you cover me for ministry training? I'm like, uh Sure When you want me to talk about so I don't know if anyone's ever called me this but I'm kind of the miracle list lady around here since I've been doing classes on the miracle list and I'm almost two years now. I've been my first class was I think about a year and a half ago. I'm not really sure Come on in Michelle Welcome. Welcome So It's been going really well the miracle list if you don't know what it is. It's a it's it's something that Mike put together after many years of counseling and He began to notice what are what are common things people are struggling with And he noticed the pattern and he said wow if I put these down in a list and people would cover these items Then their deliverance and their healing goes a lot faster So when I think about the miracle list I think about spring cleaning Not for you guys that might not mean anything but for ladies Maybe your mom Okay, I don't know how many people spring clean today, but my mom certainly did and so if you have no idea what I mean by Spring cleaning, let me break it down for you. So Spring cleaning takes several weekends Typically, you don't do it during the week because you're working and you got the kids and you're doing stuff But spring clean takes, you know, it could take a month or two Because you are cleaning everything in the house From the windows to the walls the baseboards inside the cabinet the refrigerator the freezer You're getting in there My mom would even come during the spring cleaning time take my drawer my dresser drawer and dump it on my bed Okay, now fold everything and put it back in the drawers You know when it first that when she when I first realized what we were doing every year, you know When it first happened I got a little mad like oh my gosh look how much work you just gave me But it was a very effective in every year she did this she take the curtains down wash them She take the blinds down put them in the the the bathtub scrub them I mean everything got a good cleaning every year I wish I could say I was good as my mom But she did teach me and I know how to do it and so So that's why I think I think about the the miracle list is like spring cleaning because we go throughout our Christian life and We go to church and we hear about things and we kind of do them But then we just live our own lives and so Mike constructed this list and said okay. I want you to spring clean yourself Essentially I want you to look at all these different parts of you and Get into alignment with God's word and What the miracle list really does is it?  You're not really having the victory There's probably something you missed on the miracle list So and it also searched your journey to breaking down those strongholds In your mind those thought patterns those lies that you've been believing That started when you were just a little little guy or a young girl You know these lies that your parents probably began to teach you to try to protect you But they were not in alignment with God's word therefore It's not the truth and so these lies that the enemy Maybe use your parents to tell you or teachers or people in the neighborhood or just told you yourself You thought it was your own thoughts you constructed the stronghold in your mind And that's what the enemy holds on to it's like it's like a Handle or it's a house that they live in okay We're trying to look at the scriptures and say okay. There's these strongholds What can we compare it to? The Lord showed me that it's it's like a house of cards Until the Holy Spirit it's a house of cards. It's easy to knock down for us. It's difficult because These strongholds are a part of our personality a lot of times we've been relying on these Lies really to protect ourselves Anyway, that's what the miracle list really does is it helps you spring clean inside cleansing your temple But guess what most people don't do it They don't do it. So why why do you think people do not finish the miracle list? Why do you think yeah? Okay, good what else The thing is too hard. Mm-hmm. Yeah, why else do people not finish the miracle list? Lazy-ness, uh-huh. They don't think they need it Pam Good they get scared because they get attacked right Mike said that a lot of times he'll get Emails of people say all hell is broken loose in my life when I started doing the miracle list Mm-hmm my life got more difficult So what do they do they quit? This is too hard. I'm not gonna do it Well, what happens is once you started doing the miracle list when you started doing it correctly You started now fighting the kingdom of darkness and now it's fighting back so I Heard him say once that when he gets an email and someone says yeah, all hell is broken loose in my life When I started doing the miracle list. He's like great keep going M You got those emails Great keep going And for Mike so Yeah, there's a lot of reasons I've heard people you know they get the miracle list in there and within a week They're like I did it. I did the miracle. It's I'm done and Then you find out they have off towards somebody they have negative feelings towards somebody After you get talking with them and you realize they didn't do it They didn't do it so um Any other thoughts about why people don't do the miracle list Yeah, they don't realize that the warfare that comes behind it too. So it could be a lack of understanding Just seeing what really exactly you know. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, that's good. That's good So the miracle list takes time right it takes time but there are most there are some most important items I would say one of the most important items on the miracle list is number one and I have always referred to it as forgiveness But really what it is is helping you realize the negative feelings you still have for people which is called up Which is called up and when people you know hurt us in our lives They hurt a significantly a parent a sibling an uncle a teacher that that um that really hurts deeply and Sometimes you don't even realize it's there because it was so long ago So long ago. I worked with a young lady yesterday who? She began she she came in saying that she started the miracle list, but she quit Okay, and she also told me that she didn't have memories of her childhood All right, so as we got to talking a little bit more a memory popped up and she realized wow More than my when I was about seven or eight years old My mom left me at my aunt's house, and I was so scared I stayed up all night Watching for her car to come back and she didn't come back until the son came up And she felt terrified that her mom had abandoned her She doesn't understand. She's a little girl. So I Could see the pain Still I could see it on her face. She started to cry a little bit She's like wow, and then she realized I did the same thing to my son But I left my son for seven days and she began to cry and have some sorrow over that so She realized that she still had ought towards her mom Even though we have a great relationship now. I already forgave her everything's good But that memory the Lord brought it to her mind to show her hey It's not like you hate your mom, but you still have pain there There's still some negative feelings, and so we got a chance to pray and she got a chance to Face that those negative feelings from that experience And I believe God was able to heal her Okay, yeah, and so we may not realize it You know these people that are really important to us ex-wives ex-husbands We trust them we we invest, you know our lives are entangled with these people and They have the most the greatest capacity to harm us very deeply and I'm more of an optimistic type of person. I like to see the class half full I Don't know I think I think both my parents are like that there my dad was a pretty cheerful guy He was an entrepreneur and he always saw you know the possibilities and But what it does is it can cloud your mind to think you already forgave the person because you want to Yeah, no, I forgave them, you know there. It's okay I don't I don't have any negative feelings towards them but when you slow yourself down and you begin to think about some of the details of the hurtful events Then you kind of check your emotions and see is there anything still there And so if I had to say what's the number one most important item on the America list? It's number one It's ought towards other people It's that feeling that uncomfortable feeling that yucky feeling that If they walk in the door, you're just like, oh You know what I'm talking about right and it's not something you get over in a day The pain may maybe it you know the revelation of an affair happen in a moment But the pain, you know is deep and so it can take some time And so what is number one say on the miracle list? It says we need to Pray for the people that have heard us right Matthew 544 talks about You know loving our enemies You got your phone. Why don't you bring it up for me? I don't have it right here This was a quick preparation Matthew 544 It's actually that scriptures a couple different places in the Bible But it essentially is four things that it's asking us to do And so when Mike says on the miracle list that you're you're gonna pray this the scripture exactly the way it is written Some people get hung up on that like what does that mean exactly? How do I do that? Do I just read the scripture? Like do I think of the person? Hey, there's their picture. I'm reading the scripture over you Right how many of you have been kind of stuck on that a little bit like what does that mean exactly? You got it. Yeah, sir. Okay.  That you may be sons of your father in heaven No, that's good. So No, it doesn't it doesn't tell us Exactly what to pray, but it tells us to pray right and so You're going to love your enemies and there are some people in your life You would definitely say as an enemy maybe a person who? Attacked you or an uncle that molested you or something to that. They're definitely an Enemy a pedophile as an enemy right even if they are a family member and so You have to you have to say okay, Lord How do I pray for this person? I Need to pray for them. I need to care about them as a human being as a as a someone that God has created and and actually Me and my prayers for that person I've told the story before I I don't know I guess I didn't really know about the miraculous, but I knew about Matthew 544 and I had a rift with my sister-in-law and I didn't we didn't talk for about four years I didn't see my nieces and nephews and I could remember like making dinner and a conversation in my mind would spring up That I wanted to tell her this and I wanted to tell her that and I could feel all the negative emotions And there wasn't right what she did and and and then I caught myself and I'm like wait a second Stop the conversation Lord. I bless her I'm blessing her I'm Lord bless her bless her motherhood Bless her marriage God. I pray and I just over time. I began to become an intercessor for her That is love Right So in the beginning my prayer for her was a little robotic Because I was mad and I believed I was right and she was wrong But Through the separation it broke my heart. I'm like, okay, Lord. What am I supposed to do? Bless those who've hurt me who've persecuted me Right do good to them praying for someone is doing good to them, right? Absolutely And so this went on for quite a while that the conversation would be going on in my mind They're like no stop it And I would use it as an alert to say now it's time to pray for her. Okay, Lord Whatever wherever she is right now. I pray that you bless her steps and That you you know answer her prayers and I don't know it would come up with all kinds of things Some people are better at it than I am but I began really praying for her and then one day out of the blue After four years she sent me an email inviting me to my niece's birthday Mm-hmm and the relationships been restored ever since then Yeah, really praise the Lord. It was out of the blue, but I was doing my part, right praying for her Getting rid of the yuck in my soul like telling myself Hey, I think it was wrong what she did and this hurt this other person and my mom was involved And there was all the stuff, but I was like no, I'm gonna stop the conversation in my mind I'm gonna stop looking to the past and I'm gonna just do what that scripture tells me to do And a miracle God worked it out and you know, I never had to I don't even know what I would have said to her even because there was so much over the years But some people you need to make a phone call Some people you need to make a phone call and just say, you know what I said some things I shouldn't have said I Got a look I got I got out of hand at that birthday party and I made a you know I made kind of a fool of myself. I'm really sorry about that. I know that hurt you That's a way. I know and some circles who say it's making amends, right and that is very powerful. I Have an ex-husband and I did this I called him Because I knew I knew we know these principles We've heard them before if you read your Bible, you've read about it where you go to your brother if you if you have If you want to give it a gift at the altar and you know somebody You're at odds with somebody Don't give your gift go and make it right and then come back and give your gift. I knew that scripture So after some time I did I called him and it was really hard And I wasn't looking for an apology from him and he didn't give me any but that's not why I called I called to say you know what I was wrong and I'm sorry And I said some things. I didn't like confess all my my sins that he didn't know that's not what you should do Just you just saying hey, you know what I was wrong And I really want to apologize and I and I ask for your forgiveness I can remember to this day where I was driving on the freeway when I made that call it's it's etched in my mind because Something changed in the spirit world Something changes when you come into alignment with God's word when you become obedient The spirits take notice and the Lord takes notice. There's something going on there You know and it was done and it was done now Have I looked back? You know since then yeah a few times. It doesn't torment me though It's part of my life. It's part of the mistakes I've made and so So that brings me to the net the second most important point on the miracle list is number two ought towards yourself and so I've heard my talk about it this way You know you might have ought towards yourself about how you look or about your size or you know Those types of things, but a lot of the odd stems from regrets Mistakes you've made oh Why didn't I why did I marry that person? Why didn't I finish? You know that project that I started. Oh, why did I take that job? Right and These regrets is what he says and these both of these number one and number two He says make a literal list right if you've gotten the miracle list You've read it make a literal list of the people that have hurt you significantly and then begin to pray for them until all the negative Feelings are gone. You're dealing with the ought and so number two is dealing with the ought towards yourself And so you make a list of all those regrets Why did I marry this person? What I never had children. I regret it. I Didn't take that job opportunity when it was offered to me darn. They didn't try harder at that relationship Whatever it is. Okay, and you make a list of these regrets that you still hold on to and That's what you have to deal with in number two The negative thoughts you have towards yourself man. Why did I? Why did I sell that house before? The market skyrocketed Dang now I'm stuck in the little apartment now.  He's hanging on to and it doesn't matter how much deliverance you do If you have that self ought Those demons won't come out You have to deal with it You have to forgive yourself and you go over that list and you repent for each one of them And you let God heal your heart and Then you let it go and then you look towards the future and say okay Lord.  You don't even know exist But God is calling them forth You don't know it. You'll stop looking behind you because it's not there The thing that God's bringing you towards you haven't even thought about it yet But he's drawing it out of you. He's doing it But if you keep looking behind you'll never notice it when he tries to bring you in that direction So I do women's ministry here, which is Interesting and I've said it before and some of the ladies are here today today that are in the class on Tuesday nights But never one time that I ever think I would be in women's ministry Never once it was never a thought in my mind that I would be Holding a class especially not holding a zoom for women Never did I ever one time have a desire. I'm gonna be a women's minister. I Didn't know that's what God had for me in my future and Seems to be going pretty good because people still show up It's kind of getting hate mail, which is great So my my point is this miracle list is really important because It's gonna help you identify those things that the spirits are still hanging on to in there You can come up to the altar for deliverance all you want, but if you don't deal with that stuff, I Won't matter And you'll get deliverance, but guess what those spirits should just come right back in the back door Because you got this ought towards yourself ought towards others We have to let let those people go And so, you know Why why are these why are those the most important I think I answered it, right? That's the the spirits are hanging on to it if you don't it's part of renewing your mind Dealing with these regrets dealing with the past hurts these people that have hurt you It'll hinder your deliverance it'll block it it'll block your healing it could be the very thing blocking your healing right now and You have to deal you have to deal with it and if you don't You know, it's just gonna it'll snowball because people keep hurting us And so I go back to what's the miracle list? Okay, and do you ever finish the miracle list? Yeah, there is a point where the spring cleaning is done But guess what things get dirty again But you don't have to go through and do a deep cleaning because you just did it I refer to that as doing there's a dumpster deliverance Where when you first start you get a whole bunch out and it may take a year It may take a little longer But then there's a point where you move from this a lot of stuff You're dealing with to what I call feather dusting where now you're just going back and you're maintaining Okay Man when was the last time somebody hurt you? yesterday Okay, and so you have to deal with that I mean I and usually it's someone hurt me a couple years ago, and then they hurt me again and Then they hurt me again, and then somebody brings up their name, and I'm like I still got that Inside here, and if that person walked in right now, I don't think I will feel so good. I'm still working on it I'm still praying for that person. I'm I recognize I still have a little yucky yuck inside I don't beat myself up for it. I Just I know it's there, and I just keep I keep I keep praying I keep showing love towards that person I keep thinking positive thoughts towards you know I keep saying God you're gonna bless them, and I want nothing for the but the best for that person and You know that is showing love that is you know and Yeah, there's persecution that people who persecute us are usually people in the church People in our own homes They're not like way far out there and so Yeah, so I Pause for a second. Does anybody have any questions and those are just the two points on the miracle list And the miracle list is long anybody have any questions about it. Yeah, Joe. I Hope this isn't a question to justify my aunt, but I'm honest will judge you for it now You know I think in the scripture when Jesus told Peter get behind me saying Okay, because he sort of had his own and just like he just said it's the Christian a couple of Christian men in my life that use Scripture to kind of justify their behavior. They're saying they're said mm-hmm, and and it bugs me and I I've tried to Help these guys Lovingly and I have prayed for them, but it always seems to come full circle and And they sort of reject me and tell me to kind of I'm handling it the way I handle it. You handle your Christianity the way you handle it and and It's like if I avoid them is that ought you know because I Want to pray for them. I want to love them but it seems like I have one friend he deals with a lot of legalism and religion and I could I really could discern that that's what's happening with him but he still kind of shoves what he thinks down my throat and every time we talk it kind of goes full circle where we're man and and I Just kind of make some things I block them sometimes. I'm like, okay, you know this seems to be reoccurring it goes full circle every time and What should I do, you know? Because I even asked the gentleman if I could mentor him at one point. He said yes, but I Don't think he meant yes You know, and you know, I mean he states to in that chair but I Just don't want to have bought against them and I'm not sure if I do or not so Staying away from someone Because they're in sin is not necessarily ought But is biblical So I Don't know the scripture, but some something like if you're you know, if someone is a brother and they are in sin and They refuse to repent don't even bring them into your house Don't even dine with them There's another scripture that talks about you know staying away from a scoffer.  It's gonna go bad And so the scriptures give us I Wish I had him right here They gives us some guidance on how to deal with these difficult people I Got some counseling after my wife passed away and one of the things the counselor mentioned to me was Don't advise anybody and don't correct anybody You know, especially if they're not open to it And and you know We have to be wise I know there I know when I come here on Tuesday nights and I have to remind myself of this On Tuesday nights when I come and and the ladies come and we sit down and we talk and we have Conversation which I love and they're asking questions and they're and and some people are asking me like what do I do? This is this is they came here to get they think I have some wisdom to Offer them and so I I have permission to speak into their lives Right and they're asking for it But there's other people in my life not that it's a not that it's bad But they have not opened up the door for me to speak into their lives So all I can do is pray and trust the Lord right and say, okay, okay father I'm gonna let you handle it. You're way better at it than I am anyway But I know I know for a fact on Tuesday nights when people come and do they always follow? No, they don't I got one gal. She's not even started the miracle as she's been coming for like over a year And she wants to argue about it all the time Yeah, I'm still gonna love her I'm still gonna hover hug her but I don't want to engage in conversation with her Because I know where it's gonna go Try to but so she's a little resistant to wise counsel She's resistant to it. I know it so I try not to give her too much Just pray for her So that was a good question. Yeah, so you're free to you know, and then also There are certain people you can only have a certain level of friendship with I break this all the time with my mom I know I don't know how else to share experiences except my own screw ups So here I go. So I love my mom dearly and she professes to know Christ and at one point in her life She's going to church reading her Bible. She did she made a lot of good changes I think she got born again. She's in a bad spot now emotionally And so now I'm all into deliverance and I'm trying to tell her you got to catch the negative thoughts You know, I mean I'm all about it and she doesn't want to hear it She changes the subject on me and I want to well mom You know, you got to you got to slow down and catch, you know, I don't have permission to speak into her life And so I got to remind myself. Okay, keep it on the surface. She wants to talk about judge Judy. We'll just talk about judge Judy It's okay. She wants to talk about, you know what she bought at Walmart. Just keep it right there This I got to train myself right to say don't I Don't have there's no open door there for me to speak what I'm learning into her life I didn't meet her where she's at Yeah, so That's what I have learned anybody else on that. Yeah, Jen My whole family I tried for years like the first hundred years I was saved. Yeah, you know, and it just We're bad girls before swimming. You can't right.   It's Walmart or right. Just keep the gym. Whatever They don't even know what I do here.  No, not more interested in that the fact you're trying to help people We're in two different planets, so I understand that I'm the youngest of five And I would like my siblings to come down here and check it out and they One did and then he said he'll never come back and everyone's nuts Oh If I told my dad I was a deliverance minister, he'd probably try to commit me like really yeah Because I've tried to tell him before you know like mental illness and spiritual things like that and he got really upset I said to my older brother funny you'd like to see What I'm interested in because they're really trying to help people down here who really have moves for the Holy Spirit Oh, yeah, I'll come They don't okay, so we got to recognize, you know there's a rejection that maybe a lot of us still carry and we want those people that are very important to us to approve and Place value upon what we're doing. My mom still says do you ever help anybody? I Don't know mom maybe couple. Yeah So I had the question about the tension between between authenticity and replacing all things by Thinking of God by fruits of the spirit and things like that So I think for me it's good thing to be honest to be Authentical so not to deny what's happening inside here But we learned a lot of things now in these weeks especially and before to To have a new mindset to replace all things all old things With godly thoughts godly mindset and this is good too. It's a scripture I know and But there's a tension between if for instance me and my wife How should we react? Sometimes I met some person. I thought I don't met this person, but I met only scriptures Because I feel there is something but they will not be honest. They say as I'm good I'm in the Lord. Everything is a pain of all that more than an overcomer right, right So I think I I think I understand what you're saying So when In America there's something called a word of faith movement Where you just repeat these scriptures and somehow they'll manifest in your life If I say them in the times if I say them loud enough if I say to my bank account Be fruitful and multiply I'm looking at my bank statement be fruitful and multiply I'm more than an overcomer. Why isn't my balance changing? That's not how it works. It's how it works, right? So It's good to the scriptures are awesome, it's truth, right? And someone can say I'm more than an overcomer, but are you changing how you think? Okay? So last night, I'll I'll say this I left here and my throat was kind of bothering me well, I was up most the night with a really bad sore throat and I wasn't sure I was gonna be able to speak and I called out for some prayer and Hmm. I kept believing Lord. You're gonna help me.  But I made I don't know if I'm I'm addressing what you're saying It's a process. It is definitely a process to to believe the word and Act it out in your life and and see it come to fruition Definitely, I don't know if that that's helpful to you. Sometimes I have to Be aware of my feelings and sometimes I have to act against my feelings. Amen, brother Amen women. Did you hear it? So this is a woman problem big time, it's a man problem, too But I'm a woman so I can speak to that When I realized that my feelings weren't always telling me the truth It was like a huge revelation and I started to speak back to my feelings. No, I don't have to cry No, I don't have to be overwhelmed. No, I don't have to Experience this chaos within myself. Stop right now in Jesus name And when I started speaking like that and and it happened during a time where in the world or naturally It would make sense that I would be very upset But I could tell because I was mourning over someone who died, but I could tell this extra This extra emotion that was coming up That I didn't have control over and I started to speak back to it and I calmed down I was like, oh, that's pretty cool That is pretty cool especially coming from someone who I pretty much lived out of my emotions my whole life and so Do I always get it right 100% of the time?  I don't care if you're in me outside of me talking to me. Just get away get out That's what I always say. I mean, I'm not big on well Is it inside of me? Is it on the outside of me? Is it witchcraft? I don't care You're causing me to feel anxious and right before I came here. I was starting to feel my throat was really hurting I was feeling anxious and I was like, no devil I'm like, I'm not putting up with that I don't know how it's gonna work out, but right now you're not stop. Just stop I'll put my hand wherever I feel the discomfort and say you stop right now Leave just go and Jesus name and so far it's working. It's working pretty good. So Maybe that'll help you. Maybe that helps you. Okay, praise God. Did you want to say something Jess? Yeah Self-conscious Yeah, so those are feelings like It's one thing to just pray against it. Bless this person or God, you know, I know I made this big mistake Please, you know, please forgive me. I acknowledge it But then when you're faced with the consequences of those it happens to come up So for example for me, you know, not getting a place when I had an opportunity I know it's when I'm sleeping on somebody's couch Yeah, you're dead. You're faced with it Or I'm at someone's place and I can tell they don't want me there right we feel, you know what I'm saying, so yeah Those things come up and it's a reminder Screwed up Right so I understand that I have to Fight those things and you know pray against that and just be like, yeah, I'm grateful You know, I could be gone. I could be dead the way Here I am. So I understand and I'm just wondering Is that just the process you just every time those feelings and thoughts come up you just pray against it You acknowledge God and then just at some point they lift off sort of like one time I have you do that sinuses for like two years and I just be like every time I feel it Like now God's gonna heal it and then one day. I just was like wow Is it sort of similar with the odd that you just at some point it just goes there's a scripture that says That the writer said I looked for it and it was no longer there I wish I knew where that was. I Looked I looked in it and the and the problem was no longer there So so it's kind of resonating with what you're saying is Yeah, I think when we come when we walk in obedience to the Lord He deals with our enemies We walk in obedience and then he begins to change things I say give God elbow room in your life Give him a chance to work Well, I got saved and I got deliverance and I and I I did the miracle list and it's been it's been three months already Why isn't my life different? Slow down calm down. It didn't take overnight to get into this problem It's gonna take some time to get out of the problem, but God is working God is working. Yeah, brother What she hadn't done and I'll stop from the order about Open up terrible. What would I let go of it and I don't think I did it when I had this I can't spray to God Everything I was going to and you know as long as was the Lord you took that morning that not that she's gone and My heart was Fell his parents so wonderful again, but when I speak something I felt I miss something that she had done I got a little motion So I thought I thought I gave up my heart So what I had done I don't today. I thought she left Before came here. I looked to God and I was thinking what she had said. I was going through it And I told I took it.  Why was who's your brother matter? I'm not that person I Think I hurt you I heard you by the way the answers how my answer to that healthy science yet that hurt when you hold that hurt side Oh, it's like you're sparring to your heart to see heart and respond to voters that way, right? I was hurting people that way Look I've got revealed to you. Yeah, amen God revealed to you something beautiful and It shifted the the pain to a rejoicing You changed your perspective and God helped you do it by giving you that revelation. That's awesome Yeah, it's good. I love when we get to have conversation because Hope I've heard it before people say, you know what that's what I'm going through. Oh I didn't know that's how it worked. Oh I'm not the only one You know because a lot of times I meet people they get stuck here and they don't Communicate with other people or maybe they don't they haven't gotten to the point where they have more friends in their lives to Bounce things off of and so you just get stuck right here and you think oh, I'm the only one everybody else is doing great And I'm lagging behind But no, we're we're all fighting We're all fighting. I can't tell you how many times I was like, okay, Lord So if my my voice isn't gonna work, maybe maybe Joe could step up and I'll do the camera That's what I kept thinking. I'm like, okay, that's my backup.  Yeah, so that's good. He goes before me You know, it's the walk of faith is Unsettling to say the least the walk of faith is you don't get the plan to your next five years Mm-hmm What are you doing? If someone asked me that because my birthday just passed and they're like, you know, what's your what's your plan for the next five years? Follow Jesus That's all I got One day at a time Lord, don't let me stray again How many of you are saying that right? God just keep me on this path And if I gotta forgive somebody Lord bring it to mind if I got some awe against myself and and every once in a while I'm reminded, you know circumstances. I'm like Dang, I know I wouldn't be reaping this consequence and then like brother said here The Lord will help and remind me look at all the good that's happening And if we gave them our lives and now I just say, okay, it's your life Lord It's your money. It's your life It's it's your health.  I'm not listening to you This is God's I'm God's project I'm his responsibility and if things aren't going the way I want them to well Lord That's your life. So I'm gonna just tell myself the much simpler. Yeah, that's the simple That's the simplicity of Christ, right, Michelle I have noticed lately. I had moved here with my sister She's a very most typical person But I have noticed that even though I live with her When I wasn't with her, I wasn't able to really understand a lot of the dynamics between us and I didn't and since I've been living with my sister God's been showing a lot to me about the things that I have to overcome when I'm around her and at first I thought This is not cool And then I thought wait a minute It's an actual blessing that I'm around her and up to know That God is being able to reveal things to me that I need to work on in order to go farther into my my healing and I think God that I'm able to recognize what things are going on and being able to work through my triggers and Understand that It's not my sister that's doing it It's not her. It's it's the enemy that's playing through her I'm able to Distinguish that better now than I did in the past And I feel better knowing that I'm able to overcome more even though all around her amen Now that's good. I'm glad you brought that up because Two things that I want to say share about having ought towards others Brother there was a person I was struggling with early on when I started them when I started being involved here at the ministry and He said now I want you to think he goes think about all those sins you committed against the Lord He's like the list goes out the door and I imagined, you know this long like Santa's list of things Rolling out the door, right? It's pretty long. I don't know about you. Maybe you're not you weren't as as good of a sinner as I was but And then he said okay, and then how long is the list that the sins that she committed against you And he's like He kept going long list short list I was like, okay God forgave you of the Santa list You can forgive her of this short list. I was like you're right It's nothing compared to what I've been forgiven of so that helped me like Take a step to really let go of those things those offenses, right? and then the other one is realizing Like my mom my beautiful mother.  I would get super angry next thing. I know I wake up on top of the guy pulverizing his face He was I don't even know how I got there his ninth graders rage took over and So those are like two very clear examples of it's not them doing it And so this guy who you know, he's got all this religious blah blah blah He's offended by you or he wants to teach you something It's probably not even him Speaking now. I mean we have to take some responsibility. We cooperate with these things. I'm not saying You know, we're off the hook completely But it maybe can help to understand he's being driven by a spirit to say these things To be combative to debate to strive to argue. I Realize it's not him, but I so because I love him I so badly want him to realize it's not him. Well prayer is gonna be your best your most effective weapon Because talking you tried already Didn't work So stop doing that Doesn't work Right insanity you keep doing the same thing expecting something different. Come on. So I've seen a lot of a lot of miracles through prayer and and give God room Like I say give him some room to move and so, you know Just talk to the guy about baseball or whatever keep it light Don't get into the religious stuff and that's hard because you're like, oh, I'm gonna fall for it But it's the demon setting you up, right?  I know you are And the deems like yes, we won we got him condemnation shame guilt So Yeah, so that's that and so I'll say this the miracle list is very important if you Let's say you doubled in witchcraft So there's two types of witchcraft. There's a witchcraft of the flesh talks about in Galatians a work of the flesh your You know mothers are amazing at this there they'll say things and I gave birth to you To try to get you to change or to do this or do that, you know, who do you think you are? I'm your mother Don't say that to your kids But it's an attempt to manipulate or control, right? That's a work of the flesh. It's their own flesh talking and Then there's a work of witchcraft that there's more like witches and warlock sorcery Okay, actual And and word curses they're very powerful And you have a person of spiritual power and they start speaking against you and in the Privacy of their home, you know activates demons anyway What I want to say about that if you were involved in witchcraft at any point in your life The two parts on the miracle list after number one and number two that are going to be very very very important for you is Godly sorrow and the gift of hate for demons.  Oh, that's in the past, you know, but you're still having trouble I Got an email today from somebody who had some weird stuff happening last night She's like, I don't know how this showed up in my my home I'm like kind of sounds like some witchcraft right there is happening like that's a strange thing. Yeah Yes, very good a cult new age Witchcraft any anything that you were trying to manipulate using, you know, a law of attraction or crystals or You know Invoking some type of spirit Even trying to invoke the Holy Spirit, you know, that's really witchcraft. You're trying to control the Holy Spirit I'm going to sing these songs so passionately so that I can feel the Holy Spirit Don't do that The Holy Spirit does what he wants to do when he does wants to do it and how he wants to do it I have really come to understand that we cannot control the Holy Spirit and when you try to do it That is witchcraft Yeah, you mentioned praying Firmly or trying to draw in that feeling you think that draws in familiar spirits You know, it could if you're if you're um non so be be sure I know what Joe's saying it's You know, I've prayed and prayed very passionately and then I feel something and I'm like, whoa, that's powerful You know and and that's rare. That's a rare thing Um, but if you're like I'm gonna get down on my knees to feel something I used to worship the Lord every night and I would feel something like euphoric Every single night pins and needles heat cold I'd have all these body sensations and I thought it was the Holy Spirit And so I was doing it so I could feel the Holy Spirit I'm going to do this Lord so you can do this for me I want to feel the presence of God Let me tell you If you come with a pure heart to the Lord, I remember my early days I was listening to this guy called Keith Green. I didn't know any bible stories. I didn't grow up in church And I'd sing his songs and I was learning I didn't know the prodigal son story until I was 21 years old and I listened to it on a song And when I heard the part where the father got up and ran to the son I just started bawling my eyes out because I was like, oh my gosh. That's so amazing um I I did have a Holy Spirit moment Because I was like I was holding on to that song because it gave this long interlude between the the son saying I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna be a servant I'm going back and then it gives us long musical interlude and I was like, I'm waiting. I have class right now You know, I got to hear the rest of the song. What happens? Because I never read it before and then um When the father gets up and runs to the son, I just lost it I wasn't conjuring up anything God revealed to me his character In that moment I'll never I remember I was in pompano beach, florida.  This is God This is how awesome of a father. He is And I just was like wow in that moment the Holy Spirit revealed to me the love of the father and um You know when when you have those experiences you want more of them And so then you go into these places like some churches You know mega churches they got the smoke machines and the lights and the music is vibrating your your your blood vessels And you're like I remember when I would go to Ozzy Osbourne concerts and this is great You know and and everybody's got their hands lifted like they're worshiping the person singing You know what i'm talking about right and it's very emotional I think that's the danger of some of these You know and it's manipulating That's witchcraft And so I had to do a lot of repenting Because I want I was doing it to get from God instead of Doing it because I love the Lord I come here because i'm serving an audience of one My first year of serving here sucked It was awful I like got so many very very sick people I got people that were suicidal. This was their last hope and they got me Oh great Poor thing One lady she wasn't even saved and she ran out and ended up in the psych hospitals Like oh lord he screwed up But once I got the understanding and and the comparison it just happens with ministers like oh Well that deliverance happening a little loud right there. Wow. That's going really great and mine's like quiet. Oh my gosh You know, oh, I must not be that good of a minister that person got three appointments. I only got one There's all this comparison that goes on And a friend helped me out. He's like look one Plants one waters but the Lord brings an increase and as a steward your only job is to be faithful And it's for the Lord and so I show up today if I can't talk I'm still being faithful So guess what I get an A Even if it bombs Literally I have one page of things Mike said yeah cover these and I'm like all right lord. I don't know what else but Usually I can come up with something um The miracle list takes time And don't get stuck. I think people get stuck on Let's say negative thoughts. Well, I'm still having negative thoughts. I can't move on to number five Okay Negative thoughts are going to pound you your entire life So write down your top 10 negative thoughts And deal with those Okay, and work on it for a little while and then move on to the next one And guess what you're still going to be working on negative thoughts and when your boss yells at you at work You're going to have to go back to number one And when you screw up you're going to have to go back to number two Right, it's it's our Christian life So don't get stuck on You know and beating yourself up. Well, I'm still having negative thoughts. Okay. Yeah, well keep working on those But write them down and see them because a lot of times after you write down the negative thoughts It's going to show you how ridiculous they are We just did an activity last uh third tuesday um We wrote down negative thoughts on little sticky notes And we were comparing and so there were the themes Four or five different people had the same negative thoughts. How's that possible?  I'm so sorry for believe, you know for even Spending time worrying about that.  I'm not going to let that hold I always say this about The negative thoughts that get yourself five or six handy scriptures And keep recycling them Just keep recycling. I mean when I first started and it was way before I met mike smith But I would have the negative thoughts, right? And I could only remit and I would cry a lot And I just would remember jesus even wept That was my weapon of warfare Jesus wept. So I must be okay. I'm crying Jesus cried. I'm all right You got to start somewhere, right So, um, yeah, the videos are good. I know they're super long But they're good That's information and so the the america list is broken up into stuff you got to do and then stuff you got to learn and um And stuff you got to keep doing And so gain you're going to gain knowledge also so, um I'm sure there's some of you that you started the list You started it and you've had it for a little while but you lost it or Got too hard or you got attacked or life got too busy And you know, you might want to repent of that today And get back on it So Let me pray for us If there's any are there any questions before? Yeah, zavier. I just wanted to share a scripture Okay, yeah, it takes time It's in mark four verse 26 And he said this is the reign of god as if a man may cast the seed on the earth and may sleep the may rigs Rise and night and day and the sea springs up and grow and he had not known how for itself Do with the earth's bare fruit versus the blade afterwards the deal afterwards full corn is in that here Can you read that one more time but slower? And he said this is the reign of god as if a man may cast the seed on the earth and may sleep and may rise night and day slower slower Keep going And he said this is the reign of god as if a man may cast the seed on the earth And may sleep and may raise night and day and the seed sprang up and grow He had not known how for itself do is the earth's bare fruit versus a blade afterwards an air and afterwards full corn In the air and whenever that fruit may yield itself immediately He do is send forth the sicker because the harvest has come amen You know, jesus was a great teacher, wasn't he? And his disciples were still a wreck after three four years After having the best teacher Takes time. Yeah Takes time because I mean, I'll see it but it's definitely growing God is working Even right now. Yeah, joe. Um, I just like to make a comment about my own walk Uh, a realization that I came to um When I'm really getting hammered by the enemy tempted or negative thoughts or whatever it may be I uh, I bet myself in the bag and and say it's somewhat of a backwards compliment because I really must be getting to him because he's he's coming hard And uh, I go, let me keep doing what I'm doing. Let me let me fight. There's a good fight of faith because um Um, if I wasn't getting to him, he wouldn't be hammering like this So, uh, praise god that I'm bloody in his lip Amen, that's right As the devil reminds you about your past you get to remind him about his future Yeah, michael Mostly we talk today about situations Where people we had bought on them They we do not live They've been together with them But I know many situations couples Parents and children and other situations. You can't draw back And so you're sticky daily to each other and daily the same things that hurt the same And Surely I think you surely you have some experience with this and my mother use smith too And what what do you experience what helped them for you for one side? Yes, but it comes again You every time perhaps you see them watch it and walk around the council about this so When someone is coming against you, let's call them fiery darts Okay, and what does the bible say for us to do? To lift our shield of faith Okay, how do we build up ourselves? faith-wise the word And jude, it says pray in the holy spirit building yourself up in the holy spirit by praying right If you're in a battle like that I would be praying in tongues more than you're speaking in english My dear brother um He probably won't watch us so uh I've been talking to him about deliverance for the last three years And he has seen a big change in my life. So he believes But it's only been recently that he said lord bring revival to my home Okay, well that was like a huge light going up into the sky and and alerting everybody Watching that god was going to do a great move in his home.  I'm like I just I'm like, you know, I don't care Right And so that's what I would say and that's on the miraculous too Start praying in tongues as much as you can I'm telling you um from a counselor standpoint. So and I was a counselor for 11 years Um a secular counselor. I think the miracle list is brilliant It's really brilliant. And so that's why I keep promoting it and I'll say this probably should have said it in the beginning, but I'm going to do another class I'm starting in may for the ladies. Sorry guys Um And I want to do more open conversation So we can hear what everybody's going through and we did some activities last time I want to do that I'm not going to record it. I you know how I ladies, you know how I feel about that I just get to be more myself when I'm not being recorded and there's enough recordings There's a there's enough there's like three rounds on youtube of miracle list You know going over it. I guess they're all a little different but um Yeah, I mean pray pray that the lord will open a door for a guys group to start because I think um guys would like it An opportunity to share and how do you deal with that and how do you work through that and Maybe so yeah Mike says something about a month and a half ago a month and a half ago that uh I've been implementing this strategy and it's helped me tremendously He said the demons are freeloaders. They're they're trust totally And they don't want to pay for anything And he said if you get tempted or a bad thought comes into your mind a negative thought comes into your mind He goes head over to your bible and start leading it out loud Nice and loud. Amen. And I I've been doing that and boy. Is it a good strategy? It's really um It's because I my my mentality is make them pay for that thought that jade just put in my head Amen, you know just because they're attacking you doesn't mean you did something wrong I hear people's did I open a door? Did I send? What happened the curse landed? What did I do? No, it's probably because you're doing something right.  They'll take a crowbar to try to get in Right, it doesn't mean you didn't close all your doors.   I think once you get through the miracle list and you take care of those things And you're living an upright life. Most of the time. It's not your fault What what curses from the past? You know let god reveal it to you. He will he will totally okay last last comment weeks ago and She says, you know The devil always the devil holds you and so why do you say that just because she's been living in your head running free all this stuff You need to make him pay. Amen. So let's do it right now Let's do it right now. We'll make the devil pay Because he's uh, I've been trespassing Well father god you did it again you came through for us Lord thank you your um You're faithful lord You're faithful to your word You're faithful when we even put forth a little bit of effort To come near to you When we put forth a tiny bit of effort to draw near to you god you draw near to us We may have stepped a hundred steps away from you, but we're only one step back to you So lord there's some people in here they have not done the miracle list and they have their reasons But there might be somebody in here that wants to repent of it I want to repent of not following through I want to repent for quitting I want to repent for being prideful and thinking I don't need to do it Or I already did all that this is dumb I want to repent for that there's some people in here that are battling and um They feel like you're not helping them lord But you are helping them And so we just want to repent of that lord We say the name of jesus, but it doesn't seem to be working Oh lord, we know that's not the only strategy we can use against the devil sometimes we need to praise you Sometimes we need to give you thanks Even in the midst of a very difficult scary life-threatening situation So I guess we have a little ministry team here today. I guess you come up and if you like some prayer Come on up here. We'll pray for you Oh my gosh, it's very dark Hey, joe you want to turn on just one of those lights back there so I can see yeah, thanks So maybe you didn't finish the miracle list you want to repent of it. Just come up here and do that Or something else Or there's something else you need to confess Thank you. I'll pray with you joe Yes, I just I just really want to be a soldier. I just really want the ministry to go to another level I know I I want to Not that I don't want to struggle. I know that's part of the process But I I just want I just want to go to another level and really help Other people love and serve More effectively Can you wait for this time? Absolutely And and and I always have been a patient person, but when it comes to that Patience has been a little bit of initiative. Okay. Yeah All right. And so what's why what's the why impatient about that? What's the thought in there? I guess I I I think it should have happened by now It's like for instance, I want to be on the ministry team and for some reason that's You know, there was a gentleman in the back here Six months ago and he handed he handed me a note. I said there's something inside He said, um, please And I prayed for him and uh, I actually saw an embolism going up and down his leg It was spooky. Hmm. And um And I think I picked up a kind of transverse because I kind of took a step backwards and things that I was dealing with in the past like lust and stuff and voyeurism and And that's still an issue and uh I just want to be used of god and uh And um You know people told me, you know Wait till you're officially on the team And they also told me don't uh, don't touch any ladies, right? Uh, and that perturbed me because I wasn't touching them in a Preparator sexual way, but I was told not to regardless. Um, But anyways, that's that's I guess that's just a big picture. Um So you got a little offended a little bit and uh, but I just Did you deal with it? I did and um, and here's the good news. Um, you know, they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks Uh, I just turned 63 and I'm so excited about what the lord is doing in my life because uh, I'm learning so much And it's been about two and a half years now since sherry passed away and it's it um It's been challenging, but I see so much favor and provision and uh, and I'm I'm um, I'm good with philippines eight focused on what's lovely, what's pure, which is righteous, which is noteworthy Which is animal. I'm I'm good at that Because I try to look at all the things that are so wonderful about my life. I have a wonderful family Uh, okay. If you want to go to the next level with god, you're gonna have to die to yourself Right That's that's what i'm getting right now Right. So the parts of you that you want to still hold on to? Yes, okay, and when I have done really well in the past I've gotten a little puffed up for sure. Okay, so You have to crucify your flesh You have to surrender your life to god and let him do it the way he wants to do it. Yes lord He might keep you in a holding pattern for a while. You got to be all right with that. Yes, lord I repent of not doing that lord. Yes lord Yeah, I'm sorry lord. I'm so sorry lord. We're trying to lead it. We're trying to lead it The process you're not letting you lead the process Trying to be the shepherd lord. Yes, sir. You're my shepherd guys. Yes, you are lord. Thank you so much There you go. Thank you so much. Keep going. Keep going Yes lord. I'm so sorry that I That um, I let ego and pride Into the picture lord. Okay, sorry lord. Okay. Keep praying Thank you lord Thank you lord. Thank you lord Mary Ann.  Come out of there self. Come out right now worship of self come out of there Come out right now come out right now What is it? What is it in there? What is it in there? What is it in there, Mary Ann? You go Come out of there Listener right now in the name of jesus christ Come out right now in the name of jesus Lucid right now She wants to serve you lord Yes, lord. She's got a testimony The devil told her she was no good She couldn't help anybody Her life was a mess But lord, that's not what you say about her You've set her feet on solid ground You've given her a community to encourage her There you go. Just repent. Just repent of it. You just tell him just repent of it Sorry for the doubt lord. I'm sorry for the doubt Sorry for the doubt lord I believe in these lies lord. I'm so sorry guys Allow myself to feel so overwhelmed I'm so overwhelmed Come out of there Come out right now anxiety come out right now in the name of jesus go Anxiety and depression you come out right now Come out right now.  You come out right now in the name of jesus come out of there Come out right now the negative feelings Come out husband come out of there. What's his name? Robert robert I command the spirits from robert to come out of her right now that rejection come out right now Come out right now robert go Go all those years together down the drain Come out of there right now in the name of jesus Come out of there robert just let him go nice deep breaths my um my x my um kids brothers Two of my kids brothers You get this out today. He did 17 years And some anxiety was trying to come in What's his name his name's alfred alfred. Yeah, so all my kids are scared Because they don't know what he's gonna do What are you worried about?  I felt that peace the god is In control left when all of the lord is our life protector.  I want my tongues to be more fluent Okay, and I'm like sometimes I doubt myself like worry about my phone. So are they okay? And I know it's better me lying to them Definitely Definitely I want to sing and tongue. I want to No, I love to sing. Oh good. Well, that should be easy then So go ahead and try try to pray in tongues Pray in tongue. Yeah right now Little louder little louder. Oh good. It's your little hum to it Perfect keep going feel it They're beautiful keep going keep going think about your daughter As you're doing it and just release her Keep praying in tongues and keep thinking about your daughter and release her to god Keep praying in tongues You're thinking about daughter You see the worry on her face keep praying in tongues And just breathe in and breathe out and releasing her in your mind as you're praying in tongues I Let her go lord. I let my daughter go In your mind just say that keep praying in tongues though I let go my son Overwhelming feeling How am I going to protect them? What's gonna happen today are they safe I release them to you lord I'm releasing them to you right now lord my children I'm releasing alfred I'm releasing them right now. I'm trusting you lord I'm out of there right now all that fear that drummed up yesterday Fear from her children come out right now Come out of there all that worry all that stress All the talking all the what is come out right now Alfred come out of there Come out right now. There he goes. Alfred come out of there in jesus name Come out come out right now. She's releasing you Out the spirits from alfred come out right now. There you go.   I want you out right now all the violence come out come out Alfred Come out right now come out right now Come out of there. What's he gonna say to my kids come out right now?  I Let him go Lord. I Let my children go Come out right now Feeling out of control come out of there Feeling like I have to control that I have to protect everybody Lord. I'm sorry Release some Lord Criticizing myself about my tongues.  All right Praise God Oh Good Okay, Stephen. Yeah, okay Julie. Yeah, this any you what can I pray for? Let's say We'll start here Someone hurt you that you maybe were reminded of why we're sitting here today. I Don't know reminded. I'm constantly reminded. Okay. Who's that? The church I was with there Didn't appreciate it and all right So who was the main person who hurt you there? Should I say the name? Yeah when Glenn Lynn Lynn, okay a wire and so I Would they do to you? was like very in what In what I could tell and it just based on what I see it seemed like a very toxic environment What did it do to you personally? Well not long before Before I was unwelcome I was like I was trying to Confess things that I felt like I didn't do right and I was just trying to explain the things that I saw in the church they didn't I didn't really agree with and it was like just these long messages with like so much They didn't they weren't open to your correct you were sharing your thoughts they weren't open to that yeah, and it just there was like a certain sort of part behind it of Like not leaving me like thinking like oh come on. That's not like all of it. That's not what you meant So I was like I feel like maybe I was causing division by I don't even know if I was but I was just like hey, maybe I shouldn't have said so much stuff to other people but So I was sharing some of those things and they were I think they were thinking like that's not really a big deal That's not what you meant. That's not what you meant like Yeah, it is It is so if I was wrong in thinking that that was division, but it was like, you know very so accusatory It was like a very accusatory sort of feeling behind it You'd like not listening like you think you know what I meant more than I do and Sounds like a little gaslighting Okay, gaslighting is what it felt. Okay. That's what it sounds like what you're describing gaslighting Hypocrisy double standards like yeah, yeah confusion a lot of confusion. I Don't because when things aren't straightforward it gets confusing. I Suppose I don't know that I'm totally confused and I just think things were very wrong. I think I think I was correct in my My assessment, okay, but it's just like there's other things that they do that were very good and so it was like What's good? What's not good? I need to submit to authority and trust those that are Elders and have been doing this a lot longer, but at the same time. It's like this Same right. So are you still going the church there or do you leave? I'm not welcome. Oh, okay. I see It's in the park. Okay Wow All right, Steven. Well, let me pray for you. Thank you Lord for bringing him here today Lord God Lord it sounds like he saw some things and tried to be helpful, but it wasn't welcomed Lord And in the process he got hurt he felt defended And so you you want to you want to Really think about that list that Santa list right that you've done and the things that Linda to you Maybe some of the other people in the church and just make a conscious choice right now and say I forgive them I Forgive Lynn Bless him Lord. I pray that you bless his ministry Do you help him Lord? I Want to release the negative feelings I have I want to release the hurt I feel Not being accepted Being rejected I'll be Lord to release him right now in the name of Jesus Lord God I'm gonna turn this off because I'm gonna ask you a question I don't want to turn off so I'm just implying it. I figured that'll work Did you ever struggle pornography? I have but It's been years. Okay. Have a masturbation Team, okay. Well, I think you still got some spirits in there from that. Okay. Okay.  I mean there's Yes, I don't Look, I'm not here to condemn you at all. Yeah, that's fine. I'm just I'm trying to be honest. Yeah. Yeah, please There's there's like watching occasionally, so okay. That's what I mean by that sexually charged dreams Yeah, so I don't feel like they happen that okay. Well that it happens It's just a little indicator of that and so When before when you send in that way you open a door to spirits that come in and They come in generally to bring comfort Right. That's what less is all about whether it's food sex Power it's all lust. It's all combined. And so those spirits come in after you have felt significant rejection and fear Okay, so Sometime in your life probably when you were younger some something happened Where you felt really rejected or you felt really afraid You think of what that was Young and I how are your parents? Well, there was divorce when I was since held real Maybe two things I don't have any of my parents together. Okay, so I think I did Definitely hardware. I think was that meant towards my mom for doing that, but later I learned it was like Yeah, I feel like that was the right move, but like was that meant for even making The choices in the first place Like not not being able to discern better especially as a Christian. There's there's judgment there and stuff I believe I've worked through it mostly. I mean, I'm sure there's still stuff, but yeah Generally, right. And so did you ever rebel as a teenager? Because you were kind of mad at her for making the choices she made Some rebellion but not in the typical sense, I guess of like people going out and partying Not like that doing drugs but um, I Was interested in like God stuff and New-age things and so I kind of went down that road less for the supernatural Yeah, yeah It always fascinated me since I was young. Oh, I see So tells me that you have a sensitive spirit and the spirits saw that when you were born and they attacked you on that measure and so They're like, oh, let's get them into the new age. Let's get them into supernatural type things paranormal type things So that stuff is actually more dangerous than say pornography Because it someone brought up familiar spirits, you know about them I've heard the term. Yeah familiar spirits. So when you started doing some of the new age stuff and Then seeking after that you are drawing in them and so familiar spirits and religious spirits Are they they hang out together? Okay, could have been one of the reasons why I drew you to that church. It's a very religious controlling Yeah, I feel like what I what I felt like I saw a lack of in my other church and stuff is like the Especially at bigger churches and a lot of church seems like people are unaware of things like like I'm A lot of people don't seem to be aware that like fornication is wrong and it's like I Feel like the church is seriously failing if People don't know that that's the biblical stance, right? and you know and I felt like My mom didn't understand well enough to make better choices with who she married Again, not like it was the worst terrible upbringing by this It was just like for a Christian that has proper understanding of the Bible You're just sure for that. Yeah. I mean I I would make different decisions It's easy, right? We look at something. We're like, oh, that was all right. I'd make a better decision No, I know what I would see these type of people. I would see their behavior I would see that they're not after God that they have serious problems and I wouldn't do it, right? So I think if she had better understanding Mm-hmm probably so I think that's part of why I was drawn to the church. It's like you know, they actually Sit down with people and they confront people and stuff and it's like I had an appreciation for that. Oh Oh, okay, it was a role of the Holy Spirit That's right and so You know, we could be a nitpicker and tell everybody hey, you're doing this wrong you're doing that wrong And I kind of I can kind of see that I kind of do that a little bit because I I'm in this ministry And I'm like that person and that person and that person and I came to the understanding Some things need to be shared, but most things need not to be shared. I need to give God room Yeah, to let him work because if he moves on a person's heart, it's generally permanent But if I move to say hey, you're doing that wrong Then then there's offense and resentment can build up But if the Holy Spirit says hey, I want you to have worked on that And so it's very powerful And that's the enemy to be able to pick out all the things are doing wrong and try to correct people it's It's actually condemning And not letting God do it Trying to take them trying to like get in his way. I'm gonna help you Lord and let this person know Hey, they're fornicating and that's wrong. They already know it's wrong. I Think a lot of times they don't well, they may say they don't know but most people do know because they have a conscience Or conscience will tell them I probably shouldn't be doing this But then they ignore their conscience But like I think of the verse where Paul says I wouldn't have known That coveting is wrong except for the that the law that told him sure and then you've got all the prophets that tell people Hey, you need to repent of your sins. So I think it Does need to be a time what's in there? Yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, of course it needs to be taught and that's You know when you have say a Bible study or church or something or you have a good friend You know like hey good friend.  Coming at them from a place of love. Yeah, right and because If we're not led by the Holy Spirit, I think you know it gets kind of messed up So it sounds like this guy Lynn You're trying to tell him some stuff And he's not Receiving it from you or he's twisting it or or whatever happened. I don't know. So Well, let me just pray for you Steven, right? Yeah, okay, Father God. I thank you for Steven here Lord Thanks for bringing him today Lord. I don't think he's ever been here before. I don't know but Lord he was a part of a fellowship and I imagine he had some friends there and he really enjoyed a lot of things about the church Lord and Now the Leadership has asked him to leave and that has hurt his heart Lord So father and he just verbally said that he forgives this man It feels the most offense towards And I pray Lord that you would send the Holy Spirit till in and let him know that Steven does forgive him Send the Holy Spirit right now to him. Let him know Lord But today Steven has made a choice.  And who ultimately rejected me I Forgive him Lord I forgive him Lord I want to let him go out of my soul Out of my mind, I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to talk about it anymore. God. That's so father I pray that you help him Lord to catch thoughts Catch any negative thoughts Lord about the situation about the people who Who didn't didn't accept what he was saying he he saw some things he thought Weren't right weren't biblically right weren't in love and and it got twisted And so Lord that hurt him and I pray right now God that you would touch his soul Lord how I pray God that you reveal your love to him God How you deal with us Lord My Lord, I know he said he repented already of that That lust from the past pornography fornication Then he opened doors I came in lust for power He repents of it right now. He's sorry for trying to be the Holy Spirit He's sorry for trying to get in your way and not let you move in your timing Thank you Lord Lord, you know all the different things Lord the hurt that he experienced from his mom marrying someone that wasn't Maybe she wasn't equally looked yoked with And how that hurt him as a young man He's sorry for judging her He's sorry for sowing a seed of judgment Lord That ultimately will come back upon him What a man sows therefore he will reap And so he's sorry for judging his mother In the name of Jesus Just tell the Lord I'm so sorry Lord I don't want that that seed of judgment to root back up in my life I want seed of judgment to root back The spring up in my life I repent of it right now Lord The ways I've judged people Lord. I don't want that judgment to come back upon me I ask for mercy Lord Not judgment The name of Jesus All right, you come up and out right now in the name of Jesus Christ the spirit of judgment That's got him looking and seeing everything that's wrong You come out of there right now. He's not the police. He's not the holy ghost police. That's not his job He quits today I'm out right now Come out of there. He's not going to sow judgment upon himself He's asking for mercy He asked for mercy we asked for mercy for lin We asked for mercy for that church that rejected and we asked for mercy for his mother I asked for mercy for steven lord I command the spirits that that draw his eyes to the things that people are doing wrong I command you to leave them right now in the name of jesus Those eyes that those spirit that draws his eyes and his mind to find out what's wrong according to the law Lord, we come under your grace And we accept your mercy lord The name of jesus I come against the spirit of lust right now in the name of jesus christ I command you to lose some I command you to lose them right now less for power Less for spiritual power come out right now. It's less for knowledge Come up and out right now in the name of jesus christ. Go Come out right now.  I command you to go from his father's bloodline I command you to go right now.  I break the covenant in the spirit world of marriage Marrying him to a spirit a spirit spouse a water spirit I break it right now in the mighty name of jesus causing these dreams.   I I do believe there's still attachment towards That's girlfriend. Okay. I've only had one. Okay. Okay. Slip on there Not exactly fold around Okay, something like that. She older than you? No. Okay. How old are you? About 18. Okay. And how old was she? 16. Okay. All right. Um, what's her name? Jackie. Jackie. Okay. Why did you break up? Yes, she was she was definitely not the right sort of person I should have been with. Why not? No, uh, she's very toxic and prickly Negative manipulative Complaining Some more just yeah, the sort of thing she would say it's just like very Very bad mentality like worse than Anyone else I've known perhaps. Okay. Okay. Um Something drew you to her I was desperate Desperate for someone to Want me and I was hurting a lot and yeah, so The timing was like she's like I she wanted me and so Okay, maybe I can In a twisted way and I was like maybe I can Be Be Be a comfort to her and get comfort myself. Yeah, yeah Okay, let's try it. Let's try to break this soul tie or anything that's still attached to you from her. Okay. All right Just just repent of being with her Just say lord. I'm sorry. God. I'm sorry. It's good being in that relationship It's a cool and uh emotionally involved Jackie Sorry lord. I bless her Yes, thank you, Jesus. I bless Jackie lord in the name of jesus And I forgive her For being toxic for being toxic and I forgive myself For being in that relationship Uh, little young lord. I'm sorry that I didn't go to you when I felt desperate. I'm sorry. I didn't So sorry lord I saw comfort outside of you holy spirit. I saw comfort outside. I repented that right now Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you All right any spirits from jackie that came in there I command you to come out right now in the name of jesus christ Spirits from jackie that got in that got attached whatever we can manage it to go right now Come manage it to go right jackie come out of there Come out compromise come out right now Come out right now compromise come out in jesus name Shame come out of there Come out right now embarrassment come out in jesus name loosen right now Loosen right now Loosen right now go negative thoughts towards himself. You come out right now Making mistakes come out Come out of there right now in the name of jesus. Go jackie.  Hallelujah Hey, you got the miracle list by chance. Yes. Oh good. Yeah do it. Okay. Okay. I've done it Oh, how long have you had it? Um Okay, that's cool. All right Well, I don't know that I've like totally Done it watch some of those videos I've watched videos, do you have you? Oh good. Which one did you choose? I've watched the number of them Oh from the miracle list In the miracle list. I'm not sure Particularly that one. Okay. Yeah. Check on the miracle list. There's about five different videos that are mentioned I just picked one that you feel the most connected to Oh, do you mean on the miracle list? You're about to okay on the on the miracle list. I think I've watched Which one did you get? Which one did you choose? The miracle list. I have a normal one So on the miracle list, it's like number 10 or eight or something Watch the videos anxiety overcoming rejection. Yeah, I think that would be a good one for you I think I've watched all of them. Okay Okay So less of the eyes less of the flesh pride of life Okay I don't know if this is helpful. I'll bet. Yeah, so I'm close to angel and also grace. Okay. Okay, because they're both from Sure. Yeah. I speak to grace quite a bit. Oh, okay I've Given her my best shot at trying to help her and stuff. Um, I still do but like We have quite a close connection. So, um, she's very sick. It's gonna be a while It's all right. We work with people like that all the time Yeah, I don't understand it because I feel like she's very sincere about passive Yeah, she knows it. She knows it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She's passive. She's got to get freaking angry.  She's not fighting for her life. Hmm I'm not telling you anything. I haven't already told her Okay, you can't be passive against the devil He's he's in there. I'm telling you The spirit of lust in there. I don't know what it is But it's in there I know that Okay, it could be for power. It could be for knowledge It could be for supernatural things. It could be the lust to be right all the time I don't know what it is could be sexual. I don't know Get before the lord get on your knees And humble yourself reform and ask him see what what is it because you love the lord You don't want anything in your way All right. God bless you. Thanks for coming. Yeah Thanks guys for coming


Next we have Florian's Repair from Cornell University, who will be presenting their title, Basil, Breaking Up BFT with Acid Transactions. I'm really excited to be able to talk to you today about a system we built called BASIL, where we try to rethink how to build performance with expressive BFT databases. Before I get into BASIL itself, I wanna start by briefly building our context by revisiting the simple but beautiful abstraction of totally ordered ledgers that lies at the core of most BFT or blockchain systems. Now, this is a really powerful abstraction because it allows us to have mutually distrustful parties that are able to replicate and share data, but regardless of a sum amount of parties compromising or acting in a malicious way, they can still agree on a common view of the system state. And by totally ordering transactions we can trivially maintain traditional asset guarantees such as atomicity or isolation, which makes it easy for database applications to materialize key value stores on top. This is a really powerful abstraction and desirable abstraction for our applications to build around, but implementing it in a fairly scalable fashion is challenging. On the one hand, ordering is costly. There's both permissionless and permission systems I'll be focusing on the permissioned ones. We usually need several roundships of communication between the replicas. We usually rely on a dedicated leader to act as a sequencer and we usually have costly and quite complex recovery protocols that no without reason give BFT a bad rep for being overly complex. On the other hand, while executing transactions sequentially is trivially safe, that's an obvious super bottleneck. And to make matters worse, this kind of order execute pattern usually forces us to use restrictive transaction models such as store procedures, one-shot transactions or even UTX models that in practice database systems don't actually use very much. So in fact, there was this interesting study in 2017 performed by CMU that showed that the majority of database systems use store procedures less than 10% of the time. So we want to strive to do better than that. In general, it's not hard to see that all this coordination, this ordering, the sequential execution is overly heavy-handed for most real-world workloads that consist largely of commutative operations. This transactions of Alice and Bob are trying to buy a race car, gelato, respectively could have been safely executed in parallel. And that's by no means a new observation. We were hearing several talks earlier about how to use sharding and how we can use that to leverage increased parallelism or systems. But what I want to highlight is while we definitely agree that sharding is necessary to scale our resource horizontally, using it to achieve parallelism is more of a side effect that's dependent on our workload and the quality of our partitioning. So really within each shard we still retain this total order. So really for the most part, sharding is a band-aid that allows us to recoup some of the parallelism that we've artificially removed by totally ordering. Additionally, when we have multi-shard transactions we need to run some sort of this real commit protocol, a two-phase commit. And now we are enforcing coordination for consistency twice, both to replicate within shards and across shards to maintain safety. We also can't shard arbitrarily because increasing the amount of shards for multi-shard transactions increases the communication cost for coordination linearly, which is especially costly for signatures in BFT. Now what we propose instead in Basel is to take a page from our crash failure-based counterparts and instead of implementing this total order start to implement executions that are equivalent to a total order or serializable. So take, for example, the executions down left. What serializability states is that Alice, Bob and Charlie's transactions can safely execute in parallel and in a non-atomic fashion because their operation outcomes are equivalent to the sequential execution of first Alice and Bob and Charlie. So in Basel, we take this idea and we build a BFT transactional key value store that offers interactive and serializable asset transactions to scale the subtraction of a totally ordered fault-tolerant log. The way we realize this is by building Basel around the core ethos of what we call independent availability that roughly states that all operations that can be independent should also be executed independently. So in Basel, what we do is we adopt a client-driven approach in which each client drives its own transaction processing and is responsible for its own progress. And as part of that design, we try to strike a balance between optimism that allows for aggressive parallelism but still have robustness to failures. It's not hard to imagine that by empowering also Byzantine clients and letting them be optimistic, that's a slippery slope and doing so safely and robustly is the main challenge in Basel. At a high level, Basel is made of three core components. First, a concurrency control mechanism that allows for optimistic parallelism that ensures serializability. Second, a commit protocol that is integrated with the concurrency protocol to avoid redundant coordination and efficiently ensure consistency both within replicas and across shards. And lastly, a fallback protocol that allows clients to retain independent ability and liveness in the face of Byzantine client failures. Now it's actually not immediately obvious how to even quantify serializability in the presence of Byzantine clients. So in the paper, we also spent some time quantifying that in the next slides, I'll briefly go over parts of these protocols. But if you're curious, I do encourage you to read the whole paper if you want to know more about the details. So let me start by very quickly outlining how execution works in Basel. So clients use this interactive transaction model and executes the transaction in parallel with other clients. Reads are sent to local replicas and importantly, since those could be Byzantine, they need to make sure that A, of course, these are valid values, which you can do by just adding signatures, but also two that they are not tricked into reading arbitrarily stale values. Instead, writes are buffered locally in order to delay the visibility until commit time. And that's an important property for recovery that I'll touch upon in a little bit. But the intuition here is that we don't want Byzantine clients to be able to leave incomplete transaction lying around arbitrarily. Now, of course, any such speculative execution performed by clients in parallel might not be serializable or Byzantine serializable at all. So we need to validate them before being able to commit. And the way we do that is by having clients submit their completed transactions to all replicas and all involved shards, who then vote on the local safety of this execution by running a efficient multi-version concurrency control check. Clients just collect these votes from a shard and if sufficiently many deem this transaction locally serializable, then we can conclude that it's safe to commit on any given shard. All right, when we have multi-shard transactions, clients simply aggregate the quorum of votes to form a two-phase commit decision. And in most cases, when there's no contention or failures, this decision is immediately durable and clients are able to directly commit in a single round trip and return to the application. Now, of course, that might not always be the case when we have contention and concurrent transactions, they may conflict, which causes some transactions to either receive fewer commit votes, in this case, Bob, or to be forced to retry their transaction and the board. Now, in that case, we do need an additional round trip to make this two-phase commit decision durable. But what is really cool in BASIL is that we can do this on only a single shard, no matter how many shards are involved in execution in total. Now, another thing that is really cool, but I don't have time to go into detail, but I do want you to take away is that BASIL's commit protocol at this client-driven design is designed in a way that allows neither clients nor groups of Byzantine replicas to single-handedly dictate the results of the transaction outcome, right? Whether it should commit or abort. Now, paper would formalize this as a general BFT system property we call Byzantine independence. This is a really strong property that most traditional state machine replication or BFT protocols don't meet, because a leader that they rely on as a sequence that has undue control over the ordering and can inject transactions for front-line. This ordering concern is really important in many financial applications, and actually conveniently saw that Mahimna is gonna talk about this later, so I'll leave it to him to convince you of the importance of this. The takeaway here should be instead, that BASIL with its client-driven design sidesteps all of these concerns of ordering and fairness entirely. Now, what I did swipe under the rug in the previous four slides, but I kind of alluded to previously is the fact that by empowering clients, I mean, in particular, also empowering Byzantine clients. Now, if their transactions are commutative, then that has no impact on other clients, but if they do conflict, then misbehaving clients can block contending transactions to stall indefinitely or even force them to abort and have to retry. Now, the way we address this in BASIL is by allowing any client to drive the commit protocol for any transaction. Now, that's perfectly safe because I already told you we delayed the transaction visibility until the commit time, so we're not accidentally stealing away incomplete the transactions. And B, like we just talked about, clients are not able to decide the outcome of the transaction and hence, it doesn't really matter which client coordinates the commit. Now, this recovery protocol has some nice properties. It requires usually only a single roundtrip. It also only involves a single shard and does so with linear communication. Now, like with most BFC protocols, the details can get fairly involved, but what I find especially cool is the fact that clients are A, in charge of their own liveness. Those are B, recovery only affects contending transactions and that's unlike existing view change protocols that have to hold all transaction processing when the leader is under the risk. Of course, with this client-driven design, there's several other challenges, such as dealing with equivocation or live lock with multiple clients, which I won't talk about now, but reading about those in the papers, one of the many pleasures you'll have been reading the full paper. Yeah, at this point, I want to cut short the short overview, this ever so brief overview I gave you of BASIL, give you a quick recap and resume. So we built BASIL, which is a replicated and shorted BFT database. It implements interactive transactions that offers a flexible application interface for developers. And it meets both these properties of Byzantine serializability and business independence that I kind of alluded to, but we define them more detail in the paper. And the performance side of things, it allows transactions to execute in parallel, rather than sequentially, it allows them to commit across shards on just a single round trip in those cases, and that's so with linear communication complexity and without incurring the potential scalability of fairness bottleneck of a leader. And lastly, like we were just talking about, it allows for independent failure handling for commuter transactions. All right, so before we end, I want to briefly talk about how this design translates to practice. So what we did is we implemented the prototype and we evaluated it by implementing also three common OTP workloads, TPCC, Small Bank and Red Twist, that all use interactive transactions but experience varying level of contention between their transactions. So on the left we compared BASIL to TAPER, which is a recent crash failure state of the art database that also uses similar client-driven design and also integrates the distributed commit and replication layer. And here BASIL's main overhead stem from the fact that it requires signatures and larger forms for BFT, but nonetheless it offers quite competitive performance given the increased security and resilience to BFT. On the right, I'm showing you a comparison of BASIL against two BFT baselines that also both are built to offer interactive transactions and concurrent execution, but unlike BASIL follow this kind of standard modular approach that layers to face commit and concurrency control, the top black box consensus protocols, in this case, hot stuff and PBFT or its implementation BFT smart. And here we can see that BASIL significantly outperforms both, mainly in this case, because it avoids this redundant coordination during distributed commit, which reduces latency down to a single round trip that in turn translates to throughput on convention bottleneck workloads. Now, it's obviously great that BASIL achieves this performance during gracious execution, but that was partially achieved on the back of the premise of empowering business clients as well. So to validate how robust BASIL remains when clients do misbehave, we also evaluated the impact that business clients specifically have on the transaction possibilities of correct clients, right? Because that's in line with the speakers of independent vulnerability of each client driving their own transaction. So clients may fail in many ways they went from install their transactions during commit, which causes contending transactions to block, but BASIL's recovery protocol allows them to very quickly complete some transactions. And in fact, without in most cases, to having to abort at all, because our concurrency control mechanism also allows clients to form re-dependencies on prepared but uncommitted transactions. So these failures are just turned into blocking and after some sort delay, the transactions finish anyways. So I was showing here, the impact is fairly overseable. Instead, the worst failure that clients may do, which is however also detectable, is that they may try to equivocate, they may try to replicate inconsistent results or proposals during the logging phase of the distributed commit. And that incurred significantly higher performance penalty you can see in the red box, because recovery is more involved. But fortunately, like I told you earlier, BASIL doesn't actually allow clients to themselves choose what proposals or what values to propose. So this was an artificial simulation where we allowed them to always equivocate. But in practice, and you can see that in the green box, we show that the ability to equivocate is exceedingly rare in practice. And that makes the strategy impractical or infeasible to pursue. So overall, we can show that despite more than 30% of transactions being faulty, BASIL is not just live but robust, it has robust performance because failures only affect conflicting transactions and when they do, they can be recovered swiftly. All right, at this point, I want to end by concluding that we show good BASIL that using this client-driven design, it is possible to still build this abstraction of the BFT totally ordered log, but do so in both a highly concurrent and yet highly resilient way. And I know we had very little time to talk about the interesting technical bits. So feel free to ask me in the Q&A or send me an email and in our paper, which I've linked here, you can find detailed discussions of the protocols that compose BASILs and several other microbenchmarks to help understand the performance profile. Thank you.