t he ought to do and that accepts supper which is always gay and where there appears to be enough concord all the rest of the time is passed in impertinent quarrels jansenist against molonist parliament against the church men of letters against men of letters courtesans against hortesans financiers against the people wives against husbands relatives against relatives it is eternal war I have seen the worst Candide replied but a wise man who since has had the misfortune to be hanged taught me that all is marvelously well these are but the shadows on a beautiful picture your hanged man mocked the world said Morton the shadows are horrible blots they are men who make the blots and they cannot be dispensed with it is not their fault then said Morton most of the punters who understood nothing of this language drank and Morton reasoned with the scholar and Candide related some of his adventures to his hostess after supper the marginist took Candide into her boudoir and made him sit upon a sofa oh well said she to him you love desperately Miss Cunagonda of thunder tin trunk yes madam answered Candide the marginist replied to him with a tender smile you answer me like a young man from Westphalia a Frenchman would have said it is true that I have loved Miss Cunagonda but seeing you madame I think I no longer love her alas madame said Candide I will answer you as you wish your passion for her said the marginist commenced by picking up her handkerchief I wish that you would pick up my garter with all my heart said Candide and he picked it up but I wish that you would put it on said the lady and Candide put it on you see said she you are a foreigner I sometimes make my Parisian lovers languish for 15 days but I give myself to you the first night because one must do the honors of one's country to a young man from Westphalia the lady having perceived two enormous diamonds upon the hands of the young foreigner praised them with such good faith that from Candide's fingers they passed to her own Candide returning with the Perigordian Abbey felt some remorse in having been unfaithful to Miss Cunagonda the Abbey sympathized in his trouble he had had but a light part of the 50,000 francs lost at play and of the value of the two brilliance half given half extorted his design was to profit as much as he could by the advantages which the acquaintance of Candide could procure for him he spoke much of Cunagonda and Candide told him that he should ask forgiveness of that beautiful one for his infidelity when he should see her in Venice the Abbey redoubled his politeness and took a tender interest in all that Candide said in all that he did in all that he wished to do and so, sir, you have a rendezvous at Venice? Yes, Monsieur Abbey answered Candide it is absolutely necessary that I go to meet Miss Cunagonda and then the pleasure of talking of that which he loved induced him to relate, according to his custom, part of his adventures with the fair Westphalian I believe, said the Abbey that Miss Cunagonda has a great deal of wit and that she writes charming letters I have never received any from her, said Candide for being expelled from the castle on her account I had not an opportunity for writing to her soon after that I heard she was dead then I found her alive then I lost her again and last of all I sent an express to her 500 leagues from here and I wait for an answer the Abbey listened attentively and seemed to be in a brown study he soon took his leave of the two foreigners after a most tender embrace the following day Candide received on awaking a letter couched in these terms My very dear love for eight days I have been ill in this town I learned that you are here I would fly with arms if I could but move I was informed of your passage at Bordeaux where I left faithful Chacombo and the old woman who are to follow me very soon the governor of Buenos Aires has taken all but there remains to me your heart come your presence will either give me life or kill me with pleasure this charming this unhoped for letter transported Candide with an inexpressible joy and the illness of his dear Cunaganda overwhelmed him with grief divided between those two passions he took his gold and his diamonds and hurried away with Martin to the hotel where Miss Cunaganda was lodged he entered her room trembling his heart palpitating his voice sobbing he wished to open the curtains of the bed and asked for a light take care what you do said the servant made the light hurts her and immediately she drew the curtain again my dear Cunaganda said Candide weeping how are you if you cannot see me at least speak to me she cannot speak said the maid the lady then put a plump hand out from the bed and Candide bathed it with his tears and afterwards filled it with diamonds leaving a bag of gold upon the easy chair in the midst of these sports in came an officer followed by the abbey and a file of soldiers there said he are the two suspected foreigners and at the same time he ordered them to be seized and carried to prison travelers are not treated thus in El Dorado said Candide I am more a mannequin now than ever said Martin but pray sir where are you going to carry us said Candide toward Dungeon answered the officer Martin having recovered himself a little judged that the lady who acted the part of Cunaganda was a cheat that the Perigordian abbey was a naïve who had imposed upon the honest simplicity of Candide and that the officer was another naïve whom they might easily silence Candide advised by Martin an impatient to see the real Cunaganda rather than expose himself before a court of justice proposed to the officer to give him three small diamonds each worth about three thousand pistoles ah sir said the man with the ivory baton had you committed all the imaginable crimes you would be to me the most honest man in the world three diamonds each worth three thousand pistoles sir instead of carrying you to jail I would lose my life to serve you there are orders for arresting foreigners but leave it to me I have a brother at Dieppe Normande I'll conduct you thither and if you have a diamond to give him he'll take us much care of you as I would and why said Candide should all foreigners be arrested it is the Perigordian abbey then made answer because a poor beggar of the country of Aterbete heard some foolish things said this induced him to commit a parasite not such as that of 1610 in the month of May but such as that of 1594 in the month of December and such as others which have been committed in other years and other months by other poor devils who had heard nonsense spoken the officer then explained what the abbey meant ah the monsters cried Candide what horrors among a people who dance and sing is there no way of getting quickly out of this country where monkeys provoke tigers I have seen no bears in my country but men I have beheld nowhere except in El Dorado in the name of God sir conduct me to Venice where I am to await Miss Cunagonda I can conduct you no further than Loa Normande said the officer immediately he ordered his irons to be struck off acknowledged himself mistaken sent away his men set out with Candide in Martin for Dieppe and left them in the care of his brother there was then a small Dutch ship in the harbor the Norman who by the virtue of three more diamonds had become the most subservient of men put Candide and his attendants on board a vessel that was just ready to set sail for Portsmouth in England this was not the way to Venice but Candide thought he had made his way out of hell and reckoned that he would soon have an opportunity for resuming his journey End Chapter 22 This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Candide by Voltaire recorded by Ted DeLorm in Fort Mill South Carolina during January 2007 This is a LibriVox recording Candide by Voltaire Chapter 23 Candide and Martin touched upon the coast of England and what they saw there Oh, Panglos, Panglos Oh, Martin, Martin Oh, my dear Cunagonda what sort of a world is this said Candide on board the Dutch ship something very foolish and abominable said Martin You know, England are they as foolish there as in France? It is another kind of folly said Martin You know that these two nations are at war for a few acres of snow in Canada and that they spend over this beautiful war much more than Canada is worth to tell you exactly whether there are more people fit to send to a madhouse in one country than the other my imperfect intelligence will not permit I only know in general that the people we are going to see are very atrobilious talking thus they arrived at Portsmouth the coast was lined with crowds of people whose eyes were fixed on a fine man kneeling with his eyes bandaged on board one of the men of war in the harbour four soldiers stood opposite to this man each of them fired balls at his head with all the calmness in the world and the whole assembly went away very well satisfied What is all this? said Candide and what demon is it that exercises his empire in this country he then asked who was that fine man who had been killed with so much ceremony they answered he was an admiral and why kill this admiral it is because he did not kill a sufficient number of men himself he gave battle to a French admiral and it has been proved that he was not near enough to him but replied Candide the French admiral was as far from the English admiral there is no doubt of it but in this country it is found good from time to time to kill one admiral to encourage the others Candide was so shocked and bewildered by what he saw and heard that he would not set foot on shore and he made a bargain with the Dutch skipper where he even to rob him like the Suriname captain to conduct him without delay to Venice the skipper was ready in two days they coasted France they passed in sight of Lisbon and Candide trembled they passed through the straits and entered the Mediterranean at last they landed at Venice God be praised said Candide embracing Martin it is here that I shall see again my beautiful Cunaganda I trust Cacombo as myself all is well all will be well all goes as well as possible End Chapter 23 This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Candide by Voltaire read by Ted DeLorm in Fort Mill, South Carolina during January 2007 This is a LibriVox recording Candide by Voltaire Chapter 24 of Pocket and Friar Giroffoli Upon their arrival at Venice, Candide went to search for Cacombo at every inn and coffee house all the ladies of pleasure but to no purpose he sent every day to inquire on all ships that came in but there was no news of Cacombo What he said to Martin I have had time to voyage from Suriname to Bordeaux to go from Bordeaux to Paris from Paris to Dieppe from Dieppe to Portsmouth to coast along Portugal and Spain to cross the whole Mediterranean to spend some months yet the beautiful Cunaganda has not arrived instead of her I have only met a Parisian wince and a Périgordian abbey Cunaganda is dead without doubt and there is nothing for me but to die alas how much better it would have been for me to have remained in the paradise of Eldorado than to come back to this cursed Europe You are in the right my dear Martin all is misery and illusion he fell into a deep melancholy and neither went to see the opera nor any of the other diversions of the carnival nay he was proof against the temptations of all the ladies You are in truth very simple said Martin to him if you imagine that a mongrel valet who has five or six million in his pocket will go to the other end of the world to seek your mistress and bring her to you to Venice if he finds her he will keep her to himself if he do not find her he will get another I advise you to forget your valet cacombo and your mistress Cunaganda Martin was not consoling Candid's melancholy increased and Martin continued to prove to him that there was very little virtue or happiness upon earth except perhaps in Eldorado where nobody could gain admittance while they were disputing on this important subject and waiting for Cunaganda Candid saw a young Theaton friar in Saint Mark's piazza holding a girl on his arm the Theaton looked fresh colored plump and vigorous his eyes were sparkling his air assured his look lofty and his step bold the girl was very pretty and sang she looked amorously at her Theaton pinched his fat cheeks at least you will allow me said Candid to Martin that these two are happy hitherto I have met with none but unfortunate people in the whole habitable globe except in Eldorado but as to this pair I would venture to lay a wager that they are very happy I lay you they are not said Martin we need only ask them to dine with us said Candid and you will see whether I am mistaken immediately he accosted them presented his compliments and invited them to his inn to eat some macaroni with lombard partridges and caviar and to drink some Montepulsiano Lacrimé Christi Cyprus and Samos wine the girl blushed the Theaton accepted the invitation and she followed him casting her eyes on Candid with confusion and surprise and dropping a few tears no sooner had she set foot in Candid's apartment when she cried out Mr. Candid does not know Paquette again Candid had not viewed her as yet with attention his thoughts being entirely taken up with Cunaganda but recollecting her as she spoke alas said he my poor child it is you who reduced Dr. Pangloss to the beautiful condition in which I saw him alas it was I said indeed answered Paquette I see that you have heard all you have been informed of the frightful disasters that befell the family of my Lady Baroness and the fair Cunaganda I swear to you that my fate has been scarcely less sad I was very innocent when you knew me a grey friar who was my confessor easily seduced me the consequences were terrible I was obliged to quit the castle sometime after the Baron had sent you away with kicks on the backside if a famous surgeon had not taken compassion on me I should have died for sometime I was this surgeon's mistress merely out of gratitude his wife who was mad with jealousy beat me every day unmercifully she was a fury the surgeon was one of the ugliest of men and I the most wretched of women to be continually beaten for a man I did not love you know sir what a dangerous thing it is for an ill-natured woman to be married to a doctor incensed at the behaviour of his wife he one day gave her so effectual a remedy to cure her of a slight cold that she died two hours after in most horrid convulsions the wife's relations prosecuted the husband he took flight and I was thrown into jail my innocence would not have saved me if I had not been good looking the judge set me free on condition that he succeeded the surgeon I was soon supplanted by a rival turned out of doors quite destitute and obliged to continue this abominable trade which appears so pleasant to you men while to us women it is the utmost abyss of misery I have come to exercise the profession at Venice ah sir if you could only imagine what it is to be obliged to caress indifferently an old merchant a lawyer a monk a gondolier an abbey to be exposed to abuse and insults to be often reduced to borrowing a petticoat only to go and have it raised by a disagreeable man to be robbed by one of what one has earned from another to be subject to the extortions of the officers of justice and to have in prospect only a frightful old age a hospital and a dung hill you would conclude that I am one of the most unhappy creatures in the world Paquette thus opened her heart to honest Candide in the presence of Martin who said to his friend you see that already I have won half the wager Friar Garofale stayed in the dining room and drank a glass or two of wine while he was waiting for dinner but said Candide to Paquette you looked so gay and content when I met you you sang and you behaved so lovingly to the theatre that you seemed to me as happy as you pretend to be now the reverse ah sir answered Paquette this is one of the miseries of the trade yesterday I was robbed and beaten by an officer yet today I must put on good humour to please a Friar Candide wanted no more convincing he owned that Martin was in the right they sat down to table with Paquette in the theatre the repast was entertaining and towards the end they conversed with all confidence Father said Candide to the Friar you appear to me to enjoy a state that all the world might envy the flower of health shines in your face your expression makes plain your happiness you have a very pretty girl for your recreation and you seem well satisfied with your state as a theatre my faith sir said Friar Gruffley I wish that all the theatres were at the bottom of the sea I have been tempted a hundred times to set fire to the convent and go and become a Turk my parents forced me at the age of fifteen to put on this detestable habit to increase the fortune of a cursed elder brother whom God confound jealousy, discord and fury dwell in the convent it is true I have preached a few bad sermons that have brought me in a little money of which the Friar stole half while the rest serves to maintain my girls but when I return at night to the monastery I am ready to dash my head against the walls of the dormitory and all my fellows are in the same case Martin turned towards Candide with his usual coolness well said he have I not won the whole wager Candide gave two thousand piastres to Parquet and one thousand to Friar Gruffley I'll answer for it said he that with this they will be happy I do not believe it at all said Martin you will perhaps with these piastres only render them the more unhappy let that be as it may said Candide but one thing consoles me I see that we often meet with those who we expect it never to see more so that perhaps as I have found my red sheep and Parquet it may well be that I shall also find Cunagonda I wish said Martin she may one day make you very happy but I doubt it very much you are very hard of belief said Candide I have lived said Martin you see those gondoliers said Candide are they not perpetually singing you do not see them said Martin at home with their wives and brats the doge has his troubles the gondoliers have theirs it is true that all things considered the life of a gondolier is preferable to that of a doge but I believe the difference to be so trifling that it is not worth the trouble of examining people talk said Candide of the senator Pococurante who lives in that fine palace on the Brenta where he entertains foreigners in the politest manner they pretend that this man has never felt any uneasiness I should be glad to see such a rarity said Martin Candide immediately sent to ask the lord Pococurante permission to wait upon him the next day End Chapter 24 This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Candide by Voltaire read by Ted DeLorm in Fort Mill, South Carolina during January 2007 This is a LibriVox recording Candide by Voltaire Chapter 25 The Visit to Lord Pococurante a noble Venetian Candide and Martin went in a gondola on the Brenta and arrived at the palace of the noble senior Pococurante the gardens laid out with taste were adorned with fine marble statues the palace was beautifully built the master of the house was a man of sixty and very rich he received the two travelers with polite indifference which put Candide a little out of countenance but was not at all disagreeable to Martin first two pretty girls very neatly dressed served them with chocolate which was frothed exceedingly well Candide could not refrain from commending their beauty, grace and address they are good enough creatures said the senator I make them lie with me sometimes for I am very tired of the ladies of the town of their coquettries, of their jealousies of their quarrels, of their humours of their pettinesses of their prides, of their follies and of the sonnets which one must make or have made for them but after all these two girls begin to weary me after breakfast Candide walking into a long gallery was surprised by the beautiful pictures he asked by what master were the two first they are by Raphael said the senator I bought them at a great price out of vanity some years ago they are said to be the finest things in Italy but they do not please me at all the colours are too dark the figures are not sufficiently rounded nor in good relief the draperies in no way resemble stuffs in a word whatever may be said I cannot find there a true imitation of nature I only care for a picture when I think I see nature itself and there are none of this sort I have a great many pictures but I prize them very little while they were waiting for dinner Poca Curante ordered a concert Candide found the music delicious this noise said the senator may abuse one for half an hour but if it were to last longer it would grow tiresome to everybody though they durst not own it music today is only the art of executing difficult things and that which is only difficult cannot please long perhaps I should be fonder of the opera if they had not found the secret of making of it a monster which shocks me let who will go to see bad tragedy set to music where the scenes are contrived for no other end than to introduce two or three songs ridiculously out of place to show off an actress's voice let who will or who can die away with pleasure at the sight of a eunuch quavering the rule of Caesar or of Cato and strutting awkwardly upon the stage for by part I have long since renounced those paltry entertainments which constitute the glory of modern Italy and are purchased so dearly by sovereigns Candide disputed the point a little but with discretion Martin was entirely of the senator's opinion they sat down to table and after an excellent dinner they went into the library Candide seeing a Homer magnificently bound commended the virtuoso on his good taste there said he is a book that was once the delight of the great pangloss the best philosopher in Germany it is not mine answered Pococorante Cooley they used it one time to make me believe that I took a pleasure in reading him but what continual repetition of battle so extremely like one another those gods that are always active without doing anything decisive that Helen who is the cause of the war and who yet scarcely appears in the piece that Troy so long besieged without being taken all these together caused me great weariness I have sometimes asked learned men whether they were not as weary as I of that work those who were sincere have owned to me that the poem made them fall asleep yet it was necessary to have it in their library as a monument of antiquity or like those rusty medals which are no longer of use in commerce but your excellency does not think thus of Virgil said Candide I grant said the senator that the second fourth and sixth books of his anid are excellent but as for his pious Anais his strong Cloanthus his friend Akatis is little asenius his silly King Latinus is bourgeois amata his insipid Lavenia I think there can be nothing more flat and disagreeable I prefer Tasso a good deal or even the superrific tales of Ariostro May I presume to ask you sir said Candide whether you do not receive a great deal of pleasure from reading Horace there are maxims in this writer answered Poco curante from which a man of the world may reap great benefit and being written in energetic verse they are more easily impressed upon the memory but I care little for this journey to Brundusium and his account of a bad dinner or of his low quarrel between one Rupilius whose words he says were full of poisonous filth and another whose language was imbued with vinegar I have read with much distaste his indelicate verses against old women and witches nor do I see any merit in telling his friend May Cenas that if he will but rank him in the choir of lyric poets his lofty head shall touch the stars fools admire everything in an author of reputation for my part I read only to please myself I like only that which serves my purpose Candide having been educated never to judge for himself was much surprised at what he heard Martin found there was a good deal of reason in Poco curante's remarks oh here is Cicero said Candide here is the great man whom I fancy you are never tired of reading I never read him replied the Venetian what is it to me whether he pleads for Rupilius or Cluintius I try causes enough myself his philosophical work seemed to me better but when I found that he doubted of everything I concluded that I knew as much as he and that I had no need of a guide to learn ignorance ah here are four score volumes of the Academy of Sciences cried Martin perhaps there is something valuable in this collection there might be said Poco curante if only one of those rakers of rubbish had shown how to make pins but in all these volumes there is nothing but chimerical systems and not a single useful thing and what dramatic works I see here said Candide in Italian, Spanish and French yes replied the senator there are three thousand and not three dozen of them good for anything as to those collections of sermons which altogether are not worth a single page of Seneca and those huge volumes of theology you may well imagine that neither I nor anyone else ever opens them Martin saw some shelves filled with English books I have a notion said he that a republican must be greatly pleased with most of these books which are written with a spirit of freedom yes answered Poco curante it is noble to write as one thinks this is the privilege of humanity in all our Italy we write only what we do not think those who inhabit the country of the Caesars and the Antoninuses dare not acquire a single idea without the permission of a Dominican friar I should be pleased with the liberty which inspires the English genius if passion and party spirit did not corrupt all that is estimable in this precious liberty indeed observing a Milton asked whether he did not look upon this author as a great man who said Poco curante that barbarian who writes a long commentary in ten books of harsh verse on the first chapter of Genesis that coarse imitator of the Greeks who disfigures a creation and who while Moses represents the eternal producing the world by a word makes the Messiah take a great pair of compasses from the armory of heaven to circumscribe his work how can I have any esteem for a writer who has spoiled Tasso's hell and the devil who transforms Lucifer sometimes into a toad and other times into a pygmy who makes him repeat the same things a hundred times who makes him dispute on theology who by a serious imitation of Ariosto's comic invention of firearms represents the devil's canon nodding in heaven neither I nor any man in Italy could take pleasure in those melancholy extravagances and the marriage of sin and death and the snakes brought forth by sin are enough to turn the stomach of anyone with the least taste and his long description of a pest house is good only for a grave digger this obscure whimsical and disagreeable poem was despised upon its first publication and I only treat it now as it was treated in its own country by contemporaries for the matter of that I say what I think and I care very little whether others think as I do Candide was grieved at this speech for he had a respect for Homer and was fond of Milton alas, said he softly to Martin I am afraid that this man holds out German poets in very great contempt there would not be much harm in that said Martin oh what a superior man said Candide below his breath what a great genius is this Poca Curante nothing can please him after their survey of the library they went down into the garden where Candide praised its several beauties I know of nothing in so bad a taste said the master all you see here is merely trifling after tomorrow I will have it planted with a no-blood design well said Candide to Martin when they had taken their leave you will agree that this is the happiest of mortals for he is above everything he possesses but do you not see answered Martin that he is disgusted with all he possesses Plato observed a long while ago that those stomachs are not the best that reject all sorts of food but is there not a pleasure said Candide in criticizing everything in pointing out faults where others see nothing but beauties that is to say replied Martin that there is some pleasure in having no pleasure well said Candide I find that I shall be the only happy man when I am blessed with the sight of my dear Cunagonda it is always well to hope said Martin however the days and the weeks passed Cacombo did not come and Candide was so overwhelmed with grief that he did not even reflect that Paquette and Friar Garofle did not return to thank him End Chapter 25 This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Candide by Voltaire read by Ted DeLorm in Fort Mill, South Carolina during January 2007 This is a LibriVox recording Candide by Voltaire Chapter 26 of a supper which Candide and Martin took with six strangers and who they were One evening that Candide and Martin were going to sit down to supper with some foreigners who lodged in the same inn a man whose complexion was as black as soot came behind Candide and taking him by the arm said get yourself ready to go along with us do not fail upon this he turned round and saw Cacombo nothing but the sight of Cunagonda could have astonished and delighted him more he was on the point of going mad with joy he embraced his dear friend Cunagonda is here without doubt where is she take me to her that I may die of joy in her company Cunagonda is not here said Cacombo she is at Constantinople Oh heavens at Constantinople but were she in China I would fly thither let us be off we shall set out after supper replied Cacombo I can tell you nothing more I am a slave my master awaits me I must serve him at table speak not a word eat and then get ready Candide distracted between joy and grief delighted at seeing his faithful agent again astonished at finding him a slave filled with the fresh hope of recovering his mistress his heart palpitating his understanding confused sat down to table with Martin who saw all these scenes quite unconcerned and with six strangers who had come to spend the carnival at Venice Cacombo waited at table upon one of the strangers towards the end of the entertainment he drew near his master and whispered in his ear Sire your majesty may start when you please the vessel is ready on saying these words he went out the company in great surprise looked at one another without speaking a word when another domestic approached his master and said to him Sire your majesty's chase is at Padua and the boat is ready the master gave a nod and the servant went away the company all stared at one another again and their surprise redoubled a third valet came up to a third stranger saying Sire, leave me your majesty ought not to stay here any longer I am going to get everything ready and immediately he disappeared Candide and Martin did not doubt that this was a masquerade of the carnival then a fourth domestic said to a fourth master your majesty may depart when you please saying this he went away like the rest the fifth valet said the same thing to the fifth master but the sixth valet spoke differently to the sixth stranger who sat near Candide he said to him Sire they will no longer give credit to your majesty nor to me and we may perhaps both of us be put in jail this very night therefore I will take care of myself adieu the servants being all gone the six strangers with Candide and Martin remained in a profound silence at length Candide broke in the gentleman said he this is a very good joke indeed but why should you all be kings for me I own neither Martin nor I as a king Kakambos master then gravely answered in Italian I am not joking my name is Okmet the third I was a great sultan many years I dethroned my brother my nephew dethroned me my viziers were beheaded and I am condemned to end my days and the old Seraglio my nephew the great sultan permit me to travel sometimes for my health and I am come to spend the carnival at Venice a young man who sat next to Okmet spoke then as follows my name is Ivan I was once emperor of all the rushes but was dethroned in my cradle my parents were confined in prison and I was educated there yet I am sometimes allowed to travel in company with persons who act as guards and I am come to spend the carnival at Venice the third said I am Charles Edward king of England my father has resigned all his legal rights to me I have fought in defense of them and above 800 of my adherents have been hanged drawn and quartered I have been confined in prison I am going to Rome to pay a visit to the king my father who was dethroned as well as myself and my grandfather and I am come to spend carnival at Venice the fourth spoke thus in his turn I am the king of Poland the fortune of war has stripped me of my hereditary dominions my father underwent the same vicissitudes I resigned myself to providence in the same manner as Sultan Ahmed the Emperor Ivan and King Charles Edward whom God long preserve and I am come to the carnival at Venice the fifth said I am king of Poland also I have been twice dethroned both providence has given me another country where I have done more good than all the Sarmatian kings whatever capable of doing on the banks of the Vistula I resigned myself likewise to providence and am come to past a carnival at Venice it was now the sixth monarch's turn to speak gentlemen said he I am not so great a prince as any of you however I am a king I am Theodore elected king of Corsica I had the title of Majesty and now I am scarcely treated as a gentleman I have coined money and now I am not worth a farthing I have had two secretaries of state and now I have scarce a valet I have seen myself on a throne and I have seen myself upon straw in a common jail in London I am afraid that I shall meet with the same treatment here though like your majesties I am come to see the carnival at Venice the other five kings listen to this speech with generous compassion each of them gave twenty sequins to King Theodore to buy him clothes and linen and Candide made him a present of a diamond worth two thousand sequins who can this private person be said the five kings to one another who is able to give and really has given a hundred times as much as any of us just to say rose from the table in came four serene highnesses who had also been stripped of their territories by the fortune of war and were come to spend the carnival at Venice but Candide paid no regard to these newcomers his thoughts were entirely employed on his voyage to Constantinople in search of his beloved cunaganda End Chapter 26 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Candide by Voltaire Read by Ted DeLorm in Fort Mill, South Carolina during January 2007 This is a LibriVox recording Candide by Voltaire Chapter 27 Candide's voyage to Constantinople The faithful Cacombo had already prevailed upon the Turkish skipper who was to conduct the Sultan Akmet to Constantinople to receive Candide and Martin on his ship They both embarked after having made their obeisance to his miserable highness You see said Candide to Martin on the way We supped with six dethroned kings and of those six there was one to whom I gave charity Perhaps there are many other princes yet more unfortunate For my part I have only lost a hundred sheep and now I am flying into Cunaganda's arms My dear Martin, yet once more Pangloss was right All is for the best I wish it, answered Martin But said Candide it was a very strange adventure It has never before been seen or heard that six dethroned kings have supped together at a public inn It is not more extraordinary, said Martin than most of the things that have happened to us It is a very common thing for kings to be dethroned and as for the honour we have had of supping in their company it is a trifle not worth our attention No sooner had Candide got on board the vessel than he flew to his old valet and friend Cacombo and tenderly embraced him Well, said he, what news of Cunaganda Is she still a prodigy of beauty? Does she love me still? How is she? Thou hast doubtless bought her a palace at Constantinople My dear master, answered Cacombo Cunaganda washes dishes on the banks of the propontis in the service of a prince who has very few dishes to wash She is a slave in the family of an ancient sovereign named Rogotsky to whom the grand Turk allows three crowns a day in his exile But what is worse still is that she has lost her beauty and has become horribly ugly Well, handsome or ugly, replied Candide I am a man of honour and it is my duty to love her still But how came she to be reduced to so abject estate The five or six millions that you took to her Ah, said Cacombo Was I not to give two millions to Sr. Don Fernando de Barad Ifiguroa and Mascarenes and Lampordos and Susa Governor of Buenos Aires for permitting Miss Cunaganda to come away and did not a corsair bravely rob us of all the rest did not this corsair carry us to Cape Matapan to Milo, to Nicaria, to Samos, to Petra to Dardanales, to Marmora, to Scutari Ah, Cunaganda and the old woman serve the prince I now mention to you and I am slave to the dethroned Sultan What a series of shocking calamities, cried Candide But after all, I have some diamonds left and I may easily pay Cunaganda's ransom yet it is a pity that she has grown so ugly Then, turning towards Martin Who do you think, said he, is most to be pitied Sultan Ahmed, the Emperor Ivan, King Charles Edward, or I? How should I know, answered Martin I must see into your hearts to be able to tell Ah, said Candide If Pangloss were here, he could tell I know not, said Martin In what sort of scales your Pangloss would weigh the misfortunes of mankind and set a just estimate on their sorrows All that I can presume to say is that there are millions of people upon earth who have a hundred times more to complain of than King Charles Edward, the Emperor Ivan or the Sultan Ahmed That may well be, said Candide In a few days they reached the Bosphorus and Candide began by paying a very high ransom for Kakambo Then without losing time he and his companions went on board a galley in order to search on the banks of the prepontis for his Kunaganda, however ugly she might have become Among the crew there were two slaves who rode very badly and to whose bare shoulders the leventine captain would now and then apply blows from a bull's pistol Candide, from a natural impulse, looked at these two slaves more attentively than at the other oarsmen and approached them with pity Their features, though greatly disfigured had a slight resemblance to those of Pangloss and the unhappy Jesuit and Westphalian Baron brother to Miss Kunaganda This moved and saddened him He looked at them still more attentively Indeed, said he to Kakambo If I had not seen Master Pangloss hanged and if I had not had the misfortune to kill the Baron I should think it was they that were rowing At the names of the Baron and of Pangloss the two galley slaves uttered a loud cry held fast by the seat and let dropped their oars The captain ran up to them and redoubled his blows with the bull's pistol Stop, stop, sir, cried Candide I will give you what money you please What? It is Candide, said one of the slaves What? It is Candide, said the other Do I dream, cried Candide, or am I awake or am I on board a galley Is this the Baron whom I killed Is this Master Pangloss whom I saw hanged It is we, it is we, answered they Well, is this a great philosopher? said Martin Ah, captain, said Candide What ransom will you take for matured a thunder-tin trunk one of the first barons of the empire and for matured Pangloss the profoundest master physician in Germany Dog of a Christian, answered the leventine captain Since these two dogs of Christian slaves are barons and metaphysicians which I doubt not are high dignities in their country you shall give me 50,000 sequins You shall have them, sir Carry me back at once to Constantinople and you shall receive the money directly but no, carry me first to Miss Cunagonda Upon the first proposal made by Candide, however the leventine captain had already tacked him out and made the crew ply their oars quicker than a bird cleaves the air Candide embraced the Baron and Pangloss a hundred times and how happened it, my dear Baron, that I did not kill you and, my dear Pangloss, how came you to life again after being hanged and why are you both in a Turkish galley And it is true that my dear sister is in this country said the Baron Yes, answered Kocombo My behold, once more, my dear Candide, cried Pangloss Candide presented Martin and Kocombo to them they embraced each other and all spoke at once The galley flew, they were already in the port instantly Candide sent for a Jew to whom he sold for 50,000 sequins a diamond worth a hundred thousand though the fellow swore to him by Abraham that he could give him no more He immediately paid the ransom for the Baron and Pangloss the latter threw himself at the feet of his deliverer and bathed them with his tears The former thanked him with a nod and promised to return him the money on the first opportunity But it is indeed possible that my sister can be in Turkey said he Nothing is more possible said Kocombo since she scours the dishes in the service of a Transylvanian prince Candide sent directly for two Jews and sold them some more diamonds and then they all set out together in another galley to deliver Kunagonda from slavery End Chapter 27 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Candide by Voltaire Read by Ted DeLorm in Fort Mill, South Carolina during January 2007 This is a LibriVox recording Candide by Voltaire Chapter 28 What happened to Candide, Kunagonda, Pangloss, Martin, etc. I ask your pardon once more said Candide to the Baron Your pardon, Reverend Father, for having run you through the body Say no more about it, answered the Baron I was a little too hasty, I own but since you wish to know by what fatality I came to be a galley slave I will inform you After I had been cured by the surgeon of the College of the Wound you gave me I was attacked and carried off by a party of Spanish troops who confined me in prison at Buenos Aires at the very time my sister was setting out thence I asked Leave to return to Rome to the general of my order I was appointed chaplain to the French ambassador at Constantinople I had not been eight days in this employment when one evening I met with a young Itoglan who was a very handsome fellow the weather was warm the young man wanted to bathe and I took this opportunity of bathing also I did not know that it was a capital crime for a Christian to be found naked with a young musulman Akadi ordered me a hundred blows on the soles of the feet and condemned me to the galleys I do not think there ever was a greater act of injustice but I should be glad to know how my sister came to be a scullion to a Transylvanian prince who has taken shelter among the Turks But you, my dear Panglos, said Candide how can it be that I behold you again? It is true, said Panglos, that you saw me hanged I should have been burnt but may remember it rained exceedingly hard when they were going to roast me the storm was so violent that they despaired of lighting the fire so I was hanged because they could do no better a surgeon purchased my body carried me home and dissected me he began with making a crucial incision on me from the naval to the clavicular one could not have been worse hanged than I was the executioner of the holy inquisition was a sub-deacon and knew how to burn people marvelously well but he was not accustomed to hanging the cord was wet and did not slip properly and besides it was badly tied in short I still drew my breath when the crucial incision made me give such a frightful scream that my surgeon fell flat upon his back and imagining that he had been dissecting the devil he ran away dying with fear and fell down the staircase in his flight his wife hearing the noise flew from the next room she saw me stretched out upon the table with my crucial incision she was seized with yet greater fear than her husband fled and tumbled over him when they came to themselves a little I heard the wife say to her husband my dear how could you take it into your head to dissect a heretic do you not know that these people always have the devil in their bodies I will go and fetch a priest this minute to exercise him at this proposal I shuddered and mustering up what little courage I had still remaining I cried out aloud have mercy on me at length the Portuguese barber plucked up his spirits he sewed up my wounds his wife even nursed me I was upon my legs at the end of fifteen days the barber found me a place as lackey to a knight of Malta who was going to Venice but finding that my master had no money to pay me my wages I entered the service of a Venetian merchant and went with him to Constantinople one day I took it into my head to step into a mosque where I saw an old Iman with a very pretty young devotee who was saying her Peter Noster her bosom was uncovered and between her breasts she had a beautiful bouquet of tulips, roses, anemones ranunculus, hyacinths and auriculas she dropped her bouquet I picked it up and presented it to her with a profound reverence I was so long in delivering it that the Iman began to get angry and seeing that I was a Christian he called out for help they carried me before the caddy who ordered me a hundred lashes on the soles of the feet and sent me to the galleys I was chained to the very same galley and the same bench as the young baron on board this galley there were four young men from Marseille, five Neapolitan priests and two monks from Corfu who told us similar adventures happened daily the baron maintained that he had suffered greater injustice and I insisted that it was far more innocent to take up a bouquet and place it again on a woman's bosom and to be found stark naked with a nature-glaan we were continually disputing and received twenty lashes with a bull's-pizzle when the concatenation of universal events brought you to our galley and you were good enough to ransom us well my dear Pangloss said Candide to him when you had been hanged, dissected, whipped and were tugging at the oar did you always think that everything happens for the best? I am still of my first opinion answered Pangloss for I am a philosopher and I cannot retract especially as Leibniz could never be wrong and besides the pre-established harmony is the finest thing in the world and so is his plenum and materious subtilis during January 2007 this is a LibriVox recording Candide by Voltaire Chapter 29 How Candide found Kunaganda and the Old Woman Again While Candide, the Baron, Pangloss, Martin and Kakamba were relating their several adventures were reasoning on the contingent or non-contingent events of the universe computing on effects and causes on moral and physical evil on liberty and necessity and on the consolations a slave may feel even on a Turkish galley they arrived at the house of the Transylvanian Prince on the banks of the propontus the first objects which met their sight were Kunaganda and the Old Woman hanging towels out to dry the Baron paled at this sight the tender loving Candide seeing his beautiful Kunaganda in brown with bloodshot eyes withered neck wrinkled cheeks and rough red arms recoiled three paces seized with horror and then advanced out of good manners she embraced Candide and her brother they embraced the Old Woman and Candide ransomed them both there was a small farm in the neighborhood which the Old Woman proposed to Candide to make a shift with till the company could be provided for in a better manner Kunaganda did not know she had grown ugly for nobody had told her of it and she reminded Candide of his promise in so positive a tone that the good man durst not refuse her he therefore intimated to the Baron that he intended marrying his sister I will not suffer, said the Baron such meanness on her part and such insolence on yours I will never be reproached with this scandalous thing my sister's children would never be able to enter the church in Germany no my sister shall only marry a Baron of the Empire Kunaganda flung herself at his feet and bathed them with her tears still he was inflexible thou foolish fellow said Candide I have delivered thee out of the galleys I have paid thy ransom and thy sister's also she was a scullion and is very ugly yet I am so condescending as to marry her and dost thou pretend to oppose the match I should kill thee again were I only to consult my anger now mayest kill me again, said the Baron but thou shalt not marry my sister at least whilst I am living End Chapter 29 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Candide by Voltaire Read by Ted DeLorm in Fort Mill, South Carolina during January 2007 This is a LibriVox recording Candide by Voltaire Chapter 30 The Conclusion At the bottom of his heart Candide had no wish to marry Cunaganda but the extreme impertinence of the Baron determined him to conclude the match and Cunaganda pressed him so strongly that he could not go from his word He consulted Pangloss, Martin, and the faithful Kakambo Pangloss drew up an excellent memorial wherein he proved that the Baron had no right over his sister and that according to all the laws of the empire she might marry Candide with her left hand Martin was for throwing the Baron into the sea Kakambo decided that it would be better to deliver him up again to the captain of the galley after which they thought to send him back to the general father of the order at Rome by the first ship This advice was well received The old woman approved it They said not a word to his sister The thing was executed for a little money and they had the double pleasure of entrapping a Jesuit and punishing the pride of a German Baron It is natural to imagine that after so many disasters Candide married and living with the philosopher Pangloss the philosopher Martin the prudent Kakambo and the old woman having besides brought so many diamonds from the country of the ancient Incas must have led a very happy life But he was so much imposed upon by the Jews that he had nothing left except his small farm His wife became uglier every day more peevish and unsupportable The old woman was infirm and even more fretful than Kunaganda Kakambo who worked in the garden and took vegetables for a sale to Constantinople was fatigued with hard work and cursed his destiny Pangloss was in despair at not shining in some German university For Martin he was firmly persuaded that he would be as badly off elsewhere and therefore bore things patiently Candide, Martin and Pangloss sometimes disputed about morals and metaphysics They often saw passing under the windows of their farm boats full of Effendi's, Pashas and Khadis who were going into banishment to Lemnos, Mitalin or Erzurum And they saw other Khadis, Pashas and Effendi's coming to supply the place of the exiles and afterwards exiled in their turn They saw heads decently impaled for presentation to the sublime port Such spectacles as these increased the number of their dissertations and when they did not dispute time hung so heavily upon their hands that one day the old woman ventured to say to them I want to know which is worse to be ravished a hundred times by Negro pirates to have a buttock cut off to run the gauntlet among the Bulgarians to be whipped and hanged at an auto-defei to be dissected to row in the galleys in short to go through all the miseries we have undergone or to stay here and have nothing to do It is a great question said Candide This discourse gave rise to new reflections and Martin especially concluded that man was born to live either in a state of distracting inquiritude or of lethargic disgust Candide did not quite agree to that but he affirmed nothing Pangloss owned that he had always suffered horribly but as he had once asserted that everything went wonderfully well he asserted it still though he no longer believed it What helped to confirm Martin in his detestable principles to stagger Candide more than ever and to puzzle Pangloss was that one day they saw paquette and friar garuffelé land at the farm in extreme misery They had soon squandered their 3,000 piastres parted, were reconciled, quarreled again were thrown into jail had escaped and friar garuffelé had at length become turk Paquette continued her trade wherever she went but made nothing of it I foresaw, said Martin to Candide that your presence would soon be dissipated but only make them the more miserable You have rolled in millions of money you and Cacombo and yet you are not happier than friar garuffelé and paquette Ha! said Pangloss to Paquette Providence has then brought you amongst us again my poor child Do you know that you cost me the tip of my nose and eye and an ear as you may see What a world this is And now this new adventure set them philosophizing more than ever In the neighborhood they lived a very famous dervish who was esteemed the best philosopher in all turkey and they went to consult him Pangloss was the speaker Master, said he We come to beg you to tell why so strange an animal as man was made With what medallist thou? said the dervish Is it thy business? But Reverend Father said Candide There is horrible evil in this world What signifies it? said the dervish Whether there be evil or good when his highness sends a ship to Egypt Does he trouble his head whether the mice on board are at their ease or not? What then must we do? said Pangloss Hold your tongue answered the dervish I was in hopes, said Pangloss that I should reason with you a little about causes and effects about the best of possible worlds the origin of evil the nature of the soul and the pre-established harmony that these words the dervish shut the door in their faces During this conversation the news was spread that two viziers and the Mufti had been strangled at Constantinople and that several of their friends had been impaled This catastrophe made a great noise for some hours Pangloss, Candide and Martin returning to the little farm saw a good old man taking the fresh air at his door under an orange bower Pangloss, who was as inquisitive as he was argumentative asked the old man what was the name of the strangled Mufti I do not know answered the worthy man and I have not known the name of any Mufti nor of any vizier I am entirely ignorant of the event you mention I presume in general they who meddle with the administration of public affairs die sometimes miserably and that they deserve it but I never trouble my head about what is transacting at Constantinople I content myself with sending there for sale the fruits of the garden which I cultivate Having said these words he invited the strangers into his house his two sons and two daughters presented them with several sorts of sherbet which they made themselves with kymak enriched with the candied peel of citrons with oranges, lemons, pineapples, pistachio nuts and mocha coffee unadulterated with the bad coffee of Batavia or the American islands after which the two daughters of the honest musulman perfumed the strangers' beards you must have a vast and magnificent estate said candied to the Turk I have only twenty acres replied the man I and my children cultivate them our labour preserves us from three great evils weariness, vice and want Candied on his way home made profound reflections on the old man's conversation dishonest Turk said he to Panglas and Martin seems to be in a situation far preferable to that of the six kings with whom we had the honour of supping Grandger said Panglas is extremely dangerous according to the testimony of philosophers for in short a glon king of Moab was assassinated by Ehud Absalom was hung by his hair and pierced with three darts King Nadab son of Jeroboam was killed by Basa King Ela by Zimri Ahaziah by Jehu Ahaliah by Jehoada the king's Jehoachim Jeconiah and Zedekiah were led into captivity you know how perished creases Astiages, Darius, Deneisius of Syracuse, Pyrrhus, Sposius, Hannibal, Jugurta, Ariovistus, Caesar, Pompey, Nero, Otho, Vitellius, Domitian, Richard II of England, Edward II Henry VI, Richard III Mary Stuart, Charles I the three Henry's of France the Emperor Henry IV you know I also know, said Candide that we must cultivate our garden you are right, said Pangloss for when man was first placed in the Garden of Eden he was put there out-operatorium that he might cultivate it which shows that man was not born to be idle said Martin without disputing it it is the only way to render life tolerable the whole little society entered into this laudable design according to their different abilities their little plot of land produced plentiful crops Cunaganda was indeed very ugly but she became an excellent pastry cook Paquette worked at embroidery the old woman looked after the linen they were all not accepting Friar Garofle of some service or other for he made a good joiner and became a very honest man Pangloss sometimes said to Candide there is a concatenation of events in this best of all possible worlds for if you had not been kicked out of a magnificent castle for love of Miss Cunaganda if you had not been put into acquisition if you had not walked over America if you had not stabbed the Baron if you had not lost all your sheep from the fine country of El Dorado you would not be here eating preserved citrons and pistachio nuts all that is very well answered Candide but let us cultivate our garden end chapter 30 and end of the book Candide by Voltaire this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org read by Ted DeLorm in Fort Mill, South Carolina during January 2007 thank you for listening


Social experiment time? I think so. There's a set behind the scenes, I guess. They'll probably put it in the video. I don't know, I need to get like clothes on. The trigger warning. Warning! In this video, I talk about festive season. I talk about, you know, reasons to have subjects surrounding consent and if this may trigger you, feel free to click on a different video or find something fun to watch. Makeup and clothes are not consent. Today's video, we're diving into that subject. The Dramatics of London.  Is it more ironic to film here or just stupid? I don't know. If you don't know where I am, look in the background. If not, I'll point it out on the screen now. My back hurts too. I'm sat in front of New Scotland Yard.  Welcome out to my channel. If you're new here, hi, hello, my name is Lydia. And to those of you who don't know, this is a voiceover. The audio from yesterday, when I went out filming this, just isn't great. But I also don't have the motivation right now to go and film, and re-film everything that I said. So there's going to be clips where I'm actually talking in the clip and the rest is going to be a voiceover.  This is going to be interesting. And I hope you guys appreciate the fact that this is more awkward for me than it is you. Let me assure you.  And we all knew that I was irrelevant. But there's something about... This video is about consent and the seasons and all our trail. This is a subject I don't know how to address properly. This video for me was inspired by Chloe's last video on Dissocia did before she integrated into the system. Not my channel, Dissocia did. Her video really inspired me to get up and make this video by going OTT on my makeup. I literally never had my makeup a star. I used to. I used to go out drinking. I used to. Alcohol is not permission. Sex is the last thing on my mind. Believe me, I don't want it. I have no interest in it. Me being like that when I was drunk, my heart obviously knew, like, no, she's just very drunk. I was. But there's a point here. Just because someone's drunk dressed up wearing makeup, I'm probably wearing short skirts, wearing dresses, doing whatever, whether they're drunk or not. If you do not have that person's permission, it's not consent. Clothes, makeup, what's good. Alcohol, being drunk is not consent. If a person is not capable of giving consent, you do not have that person's permission.  You cannot use alcohol as an excuse. It's the same as if you were, like, drunk driving. You have to take responsibility for it. You was drinking, you drove. Why is it any different when it comes to having sex? And there's an inability to give consent.  Like, you can't consent. Like, you have to have the capacity to consent.  Do you have that permission to lay a finger on them? No. If a person has makeup on, does that give you permission to touch them? No. One question that I get asked a lot, and that's with makeup without makeup is walking around. And what gets me there is, yeah, that asking how old I am, which in one way is good, you know, they know that I am a legal agent, but the danger then is when they lose interest and they're like, that's sketchy as fuck. Because if I had answered 15, 14, what could have happened? Like, don't ask these questions to people you don't know. Please think before you ask before you do. I don't really know a thing about doing YouTube. People don't realise it, but people are more likely to approach you and be like, oh, what are you doing? How old are you? You know, it's not okay. I never said it was okay. But people do it. People think it's okay. But it's not. This way. Think if wrongs are first year a bit. Imagine me walking up to someone and offering them a drink. It never mattered before. I don't know how old you are. And you know, they could basically be anybody.  So why in the reverse roles of someone who I don't know offering me a drink is me saying, no, a bad thing. I feel like I have to make this video. I don't really... I've never addressed it. But I did. And then I took the video down. Because I just... The comments were triggering. I feel like... I'll get some quiet and I'll talk. Quiet and sensual and... Yeah, it's gonna happen. The way we're filming around here is to not get arrested. I don't know what I'd get arrested for. At least it's a well lit. I don't know my mind. My shoes aren't built for it. But hey, I can't be asked to put shoelaces back in shoes. What did you know? Is it's nice and quiet here? When I filmed here, it was a time. Because I used to love how chill it is by the way. I used to spend... When I did the Lancashire, I used to spend so much time by the water. I used to love going to parks and bridges and everything like that. Also, that was the bridge I didn't want to cross. But I did, I did. I just... It's weird. I just don't feel safe personally. She was drunk. Oh, I was drunk too. It doesn't matter. Yes, it does. It's potentially emotionally scarring because it's warm. And it's horrible. Like... Consent is required. By law. It doesn't matter on your stay. I can't stress it enough. Clothes, makeup, costumes, Halloween, Christmas, drugs, alcohol. It's not an excuse to unconsensually touch somebody in any way, shape or form. It's just not okay. And it never will be. Also, I was in a way Westminster. Which is why there was such a police activity over there. And you just don't know. The whole Brexit thing is going on at the moment. And... I don't really care for it. Alright, from the side in the London. Wow. This is where I am. It's South Bank Westminster Bridge. What I wanted to say. I literally walked with her just to say one thing. Personal safety is obviously important. And there are some things you can do to help yourself.  There are some things you can do. You can buy these drink kits that can test to see who a drinker has been spiked, refeed, or whatever you want to call it.  You know, you're giving safety advice on a bridge. Trying to avoid triggering yourself. There's, like, I can't avoid it. I'm going to have to go under. See, now my phone's dead and now I've had enough of walking insurers and I literally hate myself enough to want to go. I'm just going to walk out here. You get your teenage girls, well, sit in a park and drink at them. Just because they're drinking in a park does not mean you can go and harass them. Wow, that was a perfect try. Wow. Now to go get a train and go home. Always make sure it's charged. Sure it's good, not concerned. Make-up, not concerned. Being out late, not concerned. Wearing heels, not concerned. The only word that means consent is yes. My phone's dead, so I'm getting a bus. It's due in one minute. Bus is due, but it's not here. It's like London problem. It's like London area. I have one of the bus lines.


Ronny Chicho, should I go for a job that pays me a lot but potentially stressful or stay where I'm comfortable? Depends if your job where you're comfortable fulfills you All right Like it shouldn't really, first of all you got to pay the bills. You got to pay the bills, right?  This is your life. How do you want to live your life? That's the way you should ask yourself. That's the question you should be asking yourself, right? How do you want to live your life? Do you want to live your life stressing out just for money? If that's the case then Take on a job that pays the bills that you enjoy and learn how to make money by investing Right, that's what it should be, right? But it is what it is


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم نحن هنا now with a great opportunity to show you viewers at home, their viewers what the campsite of Imam al-Hussain looks like we are here now inside the encampment and every corner of this place every corner that we are in has one of the tents of the family of Imam al-Hussain peace be upon him in here you have the tent of say the Zainab inside in that corner you have the tent of Qasim son of Imam al-Hussain you have the tent of Ali al-Akbar you have the tent of Abu Fadr you have tents all over of the people of the Shahadaa of Karbala the family the companions of Imam al-Hussain so insha'Allah we'll go around get a few shots from all the different tents and hopefully it'll bring some new information to your eyes and hopefully you can take some notice from what you see we are now standing outside the tent of Abu Abdullah al-Hussain peace and blessings be upon him the master of martyrs this is the central tent of the encampment around him if you come around the back here so this here in the middle is the tent of Imam al-Hussain the center tent if you come around the back here you have the tent of his son Imam al-Sajad Zain al-Abideen peace and blessings be upon him around the other side you have the tent here the tent of Sayyeda Zainab so behind the tent of Imam al-Hussain who is there you have the tent of Sayyeda Zainab between the tent of Imam Zain al-Abideen and Abu Abdullah al-Hussain so let's go around and hopefully look at the rest of the tent here at the encampment the opportunity to sit to one of the servants of Imam al-Hussain and insha'Allah he will ask him some questions and why he finds it important to pray in such a place like this and the importance of this place peace be upon you peace be upon you how are you? thank God may God protect you but I would like to ask you what is the importance of this place why do you choose to pray in this place more than the other in the name of Allah and peace be upon the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable and the most honorable خيام الحسين كان يسمع لأهل البيت دوي كدوي نحل في قراءة القرآن وإحياء الليل بالصلاة والتهجد والعبادة فهذا المكان الطهر هو مكان أحنا نسمي بتسميتنا العام هنا أهل كربلا نسمي بيت الحسين هو خيام الحسين سلام الله عليه وخيام أصحابة وخيام أهل البيت رقعة جغرافية جماعة أطهر الخلق في هذا المكان رسائطة تقول أن هذا المكان is a geographically a very central place as to what happened during the Battle of Karbala and this place housed the holy household of Imam al-Hussain peace and blessings be upon him and this place is where the greatest night of Abadah took place and that is the night of Ashura so he comes here and many people do come here to remember the Abadah that Sayyid al-Zaynab and Imam Zain al-Abideen did Aba Abdullah Sayyid al-Zaynab Imam Zain al-Abideen This is the tent of the flag bearer and the backbone of Aba Abdullah saying this is the tent is the place of the tent of Abu Fadl al-Abbas peace and blessings be upon him and it is as you can see on the edge of the campsite as he was the protector he was there to hold the back of Aba Abdullah al-Zayn and make sure that no one gets close to his sister Sayyid al-Zaynab now an important thing that I wanted to show as well is these lamps here this setup is called Atakya these lamps are called Lalat they are split on this side and on that side of the tents each Lala each lamp represents a mata of Karbala whether it's family or companion so each Lala represents one there are over I think 110 with the family of Imam al-Hussain including the companions traditionally they do 72 but I think the more accurate number is over 110 so they set it in honor of those who were martyred during Karbala this Atakya here is all of them but everywhere after setting it up and they do the up from the first of Muharram until the day of Ashura anyways during the after the battle they take it down symbolizing the fall of the martyrs of Karbala standing on the roof of the campsite of Aba Abdullah al-Hussain as you can see in the background the green dome just there is the Tal-Zaynabi the mount where Sayyid al-Zaynab stood on whilst she watched Aba Abdullah during the battle and as you can see the dome of our master the Imam Aba Abdullah al-Hussain so if you take into account the distances from the campsite and where how far Sayyid al-Zaynab ran out to watch her brother in battle as you can see Abou Fadal is even further so imagine how far down he went into the battlefield deep into the enemy to defend Aba Abdullah al-Hussain


So out of the blue, I received this email from a stock photography company. And it wasn't a scam, they actually sent me the money. Now this income was so passive that I didn't even know that I was earning it. Hi, I'm James Wheeler, and welcome to the channel and thanks for watching. So how did this happen? Well, about five years ago, I was getting into stock photography and I uploaded a couple hundred photos to about a dozen sites. After that, I figured out which sites I was making the most money on and I kept uploading photos to the best sites. Now, one of those sites was called Photodune. At the time, Photodune was making me about $50 a year. So it wasn't really worth the effort to keep uploading there regularly. Also, I didn't bother reading the emails they sent me because the stock photography companies, they send you a lot of marketing emails. So without my knowledge, Photodune made some pretty big changes on their platform and my earnings went from $50 over a year to over $250 a month. As part of this change, I needed to re-enter my payment information and I didn't know that I need to do this. So the revenue just kept stacking up until I had over $2,000 in my account ready to be withdrawn. So now I'm gonna get into what kinds of changes they made and how it really benefits their contributors to the platform. So what Photodune found was that their photo collection was increasing but their sales weren't and there was a lot of photos that they had on their platform that weren't making any sales at all. They decided to revamp their entire service to be about quality over quantity. Before they started this process, they had over nine million photos and when they were done, they only had 200,000 and 11 of those 200,000 photos were mine and I was one of the 4% of contributors that they kept on the platform. Now that change alone wasn't what made my earnings skyrocket. They also launched a new service and a new website for unlimited uploads called Evanto Elements and that's why I didn't recognize the name when I first received that email. This new site had unlimited uploads so my 11 photos were part of a collection where buyers could go and purchase the subscription and download it unlimited photos every month. Now this may make a lot of photographers cringe but it's actually what resulted in my increase in my earnings. Now with this service, Evanto decided to use a different way to calculate the earnings for the photographers. This new way of calculating the earnings is called Subscriptions Share and this new way of calculating earnings for contributors is the reason that my revenues jumped from $50 a year to $250 plus a month. Okay so before I explain how Evanto calculates the earnings for the photographer, you first kinda need to understand how the traditional stock agencies like Shutterstock calculate the earnings so I'll explain that first and I'll explain why the way that Evanto does it is much better for contributors. Shutterstock also has subscriptions and here's a list of their current monthly rates. For subscriptions, Shutterstock pays contributors 33 cents, 36 cents, or 39 cents depending on their level. I'm at the 36 cents level so in theory if someone purchases 750 images a month subscription and then only downloaded images for me, Shutterstock would actually lose money on that month but that rarely happens. So on the other hand, if a subscriber downloads one photo in a month, then Shutterstock pays out the 36 cents for that one photo and then they keep the rest of the subscription earnings. If a subscriber doesn't download anything over the month, then Shutterstock will keep the subscription rate and the contributors don't actually make anything from that subscriber that month. So now let's compare to how Evanto Elements pays their contributors. So an unlimited subscription on Evanto Elements is $33 a month right now. Now Evanto takes 50% of that and distributes the rest to contributors no matter how many downloads the subscriber makes. That's $16.50 for contributors no matter what. So if a subscriber downloads one photo, then one photographer gets $16.50. If a subscriber downloads two photos, then two photographers get $8.25 and so on. Here's the crazy thing. If a subscriber doesn't download anything, then what Evanto does, they take that $16.50 and they distribute it evenly amongst all of the contributors on the platform. And this isn't a small amount. Since Evanto Elements started, every month the contributor bonus has grown. And so far I've received over $4,500 from the contributor bonus alone. Now think about what you would do with an extra $4,500. Here's what I'm seriously considering doing with it. Now, if you think this is a good deal, give this video a thumbs up and let me know in the comments what you think. Now, Evanto has paid contributors over $750 million and they have a goal to pay contributors $1 billion. This isn't just for photos. Evanto Elements also includes videos, WordPress themes and all kinds of other creative materials. So now that I've actually been doing a bit of research, Evanto seems like a pretty cool company, especially compared to some of the other big stock companies that seem pretty heartless. Not to name any names, good images. Other sites like Shutterstock boast a massive amount of photos but how many of those photos are really useful to their buyers? If you search for anything on Shutterstock, the first page of results are gonna be really good for pretty much anything you search because it's sorting on relevance and the search algorithm is just so good it will show good photos. But if you go and change it to do most recent, the photos that come up are pretty average at best a lot of the time. In comparison, if you go to Evanto Elements and you do a search, again, based on relevance you're gonna see a lot of great photos. But if you go and you look at most recent, I think that these photos are a lot more marketable and a lot more usable by buyers than the ones that I just saw over on Shutterstock. So I want you to think that I mean that you get on Shutterstock, I have way more photos up on Shutterstock than I do on Evanto Elements and I'm more than happy to receive checks from both of them. But I think it's gonna be interesting to see what buyers prefer, whether they stick with the old way of doing things which is Shutterstock or whether this new model that Evanto is using is gonna get traction in the marketplace and right now it seems like it is. Now if you wanna see how Evanto compares to my sales on other stock sites, I've got a video on that and I'll put a link up here. Also make sure to subscribe to the channel with this link down here. Best of luck selling your photos online.


In New York State, we're fortunate because we do have access to some eviction data, but would love to have more. We've used our eviction data to go after landlords who harass tenants. We've used it to identify landlords' attorneys who bring frivolous lawsuits against tenants who own no money. In the future, we would love to have broader data so that we could see the broader scope of landlords who are bringing cases so that we can help people not have to face the indignities of eviction.