So can men who give mixed signals really fall in love? Well, we're gonna explore this question and we're gonna use the final episode of The Golden Bachelor to illustrate a point about men in general. So really quickly, I want you to know that there's a spoiler alert if you haven't seen the final episode, turn this off right now if you don't wanna know the answer, but he did make his final pick and it was Teresa. And for those of you might remember, I actually called this about a month before this was announced.  They had that in common and I felt like they had a few other things in common as well. So I wanna explore this because there's been a lot of controversy coming into the final episode regarding Gary himself. Is it Gary? Is it Jerry? Oh my God, it frustrates me. I keep wanting to say Jerry, but his name is Gary, okay. But there's been some controversy about Gary. There's been some conversation about the last two women being Leslie and Teresa. And so I thought we would pick this apart a little bit and have some fun because this really relates to what often happens in today's dating marketplace, men who give mixed signals, men who are dating multiple women at the same time. Now women are also dating multiple men at the same time. So just like the bachelorette and the bachelor in our current dating environment, we have people that are swiping multiple people at the same time. But let's bring it back to the golden bachelor. So he did pick Teresa finally, actually the night before he did announce that he was gonna pick her, he actually met with Leslie and told Leslie upfront that she wasn't going to be picked that he had fallen in love with someone else. Now there was a little bit of contention there but I wanna rewind back to the fantasy suites going back to Leslie. I don't know if you recall but she shared a lot of personal, intimate things about herself. She was very vulnerable and actually throughout the series she also emphasized this a number of times. She emphasized how she has been hurt multiple times in her life. Let me repeat that, that she has bad luck with men and she's been hurt multiple times. So going into prior to the fantasy suites and even during the fantasy suite, she discussed this. Now I don't know if they were completely, they were certainly amorous with one another. I don't know if they were physically intimate with one another but certainly a lot of conversations were exchanged particularly in the area of telling her he loved her. And this is where the mixed signals come because then the following day I don't know exactly the timeline when he met with her to tell her that he was going to pick Teresa and again, this was prior to the engagement day. He professed a strong desire towards her, strong feelings towards her and then all of a sudden she says she's blindsided by this because she also expressed strong feelings for him. So to this sense, she basically argued that you gave me mixed signals that you lied to me. Now I wanna lean into this because I will tell you, I'm raising my hand and guilty of the following where I have been in a romantic physical setting, feeling so much emotion, so much chemicals, dopamine, oxytocin, and testosterone flowing through my body. And in those moments, I have felt like I thought I was in love and I've expressed that. You know, I've made the statement, I've loved you to someone I barely know. I was, and I recognize now that that certainly is not, I feel like in that moment, just like for Gary in that moment, it was most likely a true statement. And in his particular dynamic which is, well, unlike mine where I was only dating one person at a time, he's at the end having two at the same time, two people he has strong feelings for. So I think it's very natural that he would have experienced mixed feelings. I wanna dive into men in general and then I wanna bring it back to the show for a second. You know, this is the confusing part about feelings because feelings aren't facts. They're not facts, they're a verb. Or is it a verb? Yeah, I think love is a verb, right? So it's not just what you're feeling, it's also the actions behind it that matter. And this is where it gets kind of confusing in the current dating marketplace because feelings, we can feel strong desire for someone but that doesn't necessarily mean it corresponds to I want to fully commit to you for the rest of our lives.  Now, I'm not saying, I think you cognitively know that's not true but at the same time, there is this almost unwritten expectation that if you say the words, I love you, it means you're going to do it till death do you part. He found himself in an awkward circumstance in this particular case. Now I wanna talk about Leslie for a second a little bit more because I did a post in my Facebook group and I wanna read to you something, someone wrote about Leslie. Leslie is insecure and has a ton of unresolved trauma and not capable of being in a healthy relationship and she is not healthy. He is a narcissist and repeats the same things to multiple women. He is gross and Teresa seems to be pathogenic and delusion.  It's a fun way to get your delusional kicks in. This is someone wrote on my page. Someone went on to write, Leslie is sort of badgering Gary for the details because then she went on when they went to the live presentation, she badgered him that he kept lying, lying and lying and he was defending himself like that he needed to do for himself because he didn't feel that he was lying.  You know the word I'm thinking of, felt it in that moment. See now, I wanna go back to Leslie for a second.  That's a red flag. Leslie was a red flag to him because if you're still talking about your wounds, then you're not healed. You know you're healed when those wounds don't have a charge. Now she might cognitively say, I'm not charged by this, but the fact that she repeated herself multiple times means she was deeply hurt. She was both hurt in her past and now she has a reason to be hurt again and it plays into her pathology of always getting hurt. It'll be interesting to see if they, I think that's the reason why they didn't announce her as being the new golden bachelorette because I think she's probably got some issues. Now let me just say this, we all have issues. I'm riddled with issues. You're riddled with issues. We all have stuff. That's why the criticism about the show and the individuals in the show, what did someone once say he who without sin cast the first stone? I mean, we all got stuff and when you're under this microscope like this TV show, trust me, it takes a lot of courage to do this. It takes a lot of courage to be in front of America, especially if you don't have an agenda like the younger bachelor and bachelorettes who want to be internet famous, they want to be Instagram famous. All right, so let's talk about Teresa for a second. Okay, she certainly got harassed for bragging a lot. So, and I thought about this and I genuinely felt she was just excited that she had a good time. Was she bragging to the women in the house? I don't feel like it was bragging. Was she being insensitive? Maybe, but this is an awkward situation. It's a very, by the way, most of you, could you be in front of camera like that? Could you do it? I would say 99 out of 100 people would be in absolute terror to do this. So I give credit to those women to have the bravery and even him for putting himself out there because you're gonna get scrutinized because look what happened to Gary now. Days before the finale, they announced that he had several relationships with women. He has skeletons in his closets and it changes the narrative of him being the good guy. He's got some women that he's slept with and he's had, it sounds like he may have even temporarily lived with someone. You know, we all have skeletons in our closet. I mean, we all do to criticize him for his and look, did ABC curate this in such a way to make him look like a goody two shoes? Absolutely, this is television, this is drama. But when it gets down to it, when it gets down to it, what we experienced in this show is a microcosm of what happens out in the real world. So in the online dating world, men give you mixed signals and the online dating world, women can ghost and disappear on men, just like men can ghost and disappear on women. Just like in the online world, we have people with unresolved issues and traumas just like Leslie and I'm sure a few others on the show and just like Gary, you know, he's a human being, he wanted to look at nobody, I don't think anyone wanted, I don't think he wanted to be, you know, lose his wife, maybe he did, I don't know, but he certainly didn't wanna go the rest of his life without someone. So let's give credit to this show and look, it draws attention to those of us in midlife that you can actually meet someone, fall in love and look, even Gary and Teresa are getting married on national television in the first week of January. Is this too soon?  Do you need to be dating for a couple of years? You dive in, you get married and if it doesn't work out, you get a divorce. Look at, marriage is at least an agreement to say, hey, I'm going all in.  Why do I say this? Because chapter one is about trust and commitment. Today, the primary dynamic of most couples is friends with benefits, situationships and casual relationships. Serious relationship is on the bottom of the list of what people are experiencing today. I'm a big proponent.  Many of you criticize and judge me for jumping in and moving in with Marie so quickly and then it not working out. But you know what? It's by far one of the healthiest experiences I've ever had. I've grown so much from this experience and I'm grateful that I went all in. I'm grateful I went all in. Okay, there's something about all in. Like, I really, I tried to make it work. I think she did the best she could. Maybe she wasn't ready. And that's another thing that happens in midlife. You meet one person who's really ready and a person who isn't ready, okay? This is why, you know, I listen to the extent that I vetted her the way I teach. By the way, here's a link to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. There's a link below. I did my vetting, but I also recognize that, you know what? She had red flags towards me. I had red flags towards her. It wasn't singular one versus the other. This is the gamble that we take in the dating process. Okay? But you know what? If you can do it from a healthy place, and I'd like to think she and I did, one thing we didn't do is give each other mixed signals. We practice radical honesty. We laid our cards on the table and we established the rules of engagement. This is something I frequently talk about. So if you need some support, let's work together. That's my area of expertise. So can men who give mixed signals fall in love? Well, certainly Gary did. You have to understand where did the mixed signals come from? And this is where I want to spend the last few minutes of this conversation, because this is critically important, ladies. Most men give mixed signals because the ground underneath them isn't solid. They're either going through a contentious divorce or they have a contentious relationship with an ex. They have issues going on in their professional life. They have issues going on with maybe their children. They have issues in their professional life. They don't have their act fully together. And when someone doesn't have their act fully together and they aren't clear about wanting to get remarried or be in a serious relationship, men will always give you mixed signals if they're either in chaos or they don't have clarity on what they want.  So if you're familiar with my three types of people who are actively dating, if you haven't seen this chart before, there are the users, the spenders and the grower builders. Now users rep, oh, by the way, this is not a fact that's merely an opinion. Users represent about 20% of the population. Those are the players, the love bombers, that sort of thing, the gold diggers, the entitled women, selfish people, they're only in it for their needs. And then we move into the next category of spenders. The reason why they're called spenders is they will spend time with you. They want companionship, they want connection, they want sex, but they're incapable of commitment. That's 60% of the population and then the balance are the grower builders. Grower builders seek long-term commitment, they have their act together, they're emotionally available, they have good relationship skills. Okay, why is this critically important? Because a grower builder will only date someone if they think there's long-term potential. Usually within six weeks of dating, if this person doesn't have long-term potential in his life, he ends it, he ends it. He knows within six weeks, usually if there's potential, and then it takes about three months to really dive into the deeper act of getting to know someone from a teamwork perspective, okay? All right, so the grower builder wants teamwork. The users and the spenders, which represent 80% of the population of men and women alike, let me explain something to you. They give mixed signals because they aren't clear about commitment or they have unresolved childhood wounds and traumas, unresolved childhood wounds and traumas. I'm reading a new book. I watched the Netflix series or documentary called Stuts, S-T-U-T-Z, Jonah Hill's Therapist. His name is Phil Stuts right there. He wrote a book called The Tools, five tools to help you find courage, creativity and willpower and inspire you to live life in forward motion. I just started reading this.  It's like, if I said to you right now, walk outside in the street and look for white Mercedes Benz, you'll just start seeing it. In her life, she expects to get hurt. So guess what? She got hurt. By the way, she can rationalize in my opinion, and this is my opinion. She can rationalize why that's not true, but isn't it interesting? She kept talking about it beforehand and she got hurt again. You guys understand something about the law of attraction? There's just some, they just think about that for a moment. So what's the moral of this story? Okay, of the Golden Bachelor. I think it draws attention to the fastest growing single population of people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and even 70s. This is the fastest growing population of singles, mainly because of divorce and those who have lost their loved ones through cancer or other types of transitions, okay? We have a significantly aging population a population that's over 50, 60, and 70 years old that are single. So the choice, the question is, we're meant to be mated with someone. This is where it takes being a detective, it takes being your own matchmaker. And that's where someone like I come in to help you become your own matchmaker. So you can do a better job of choosing so you don't find yourself with those guys that are gonna give you mixed signals. You can find yourself with a grower builder versus those that are users or spenders. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating with you? Please let me know if it is. Please post a comment below. I do my best to read them all. I'd like to hear your thoughts. If you found value in this conversation, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell as well. All right, we're gonna take questions. If you have a question for me tonight, write the word question and post the question there after. Or you can purchase the Super Sticker Super Chat. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box. All the money's from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. He's my son who passed away five years ago. That's a, oh, sorry. That's a picture of him right there with his brother, Colin. And his honor I donate to causes like the Hoffman Process and Insight Institute. Just to name a few. So our goal tonight is 50, wait. $50, $50 is our goal tonight. I'd like to click, let's donate some money tonight in honor of Connor. Sharon says, life is a risk indeed. ABC got the ratings, the participants got paid for every week they were filmed. One winner for the guy. All were willing to put it out there transparently on national TV. I don't know if they get paid or not. I'm not familiar with that part of the agreement. I don't believe they are, but I could be wrong. But yeah, it's entertainment. There's no doubt. Leslie and Gary didn't have a very deep connection that I could see. You know the one thing about Leslie? I didn't think she was a match for him. Everybody said team Leslie, team Leslie. She's like a go-go girl. She's a dancer. She's a athlete. He's kind of like, he's 10 years older than her. He's kind of more sedentary. He wants to take care of his grandchildren. I thought their lifestyles and personalities were completely radically different than one another. So that's just my perception on Leslie. I didn't think, I felt the reason why I chose Teresa early on because I thought they were a better fit for each other. And you know what? Actually now looking at them in the paper, they make a cute couple. Guess what? You know what? The moral of the story, two people at age 72 fell in love. And who knows? They might spend another 10 or 20 years with each other. So good luck to them. Let's be supportive instead of cutting them down the way they've been cut down on social media. Anyways, all right. I'm just gonna address this comment. I think people judge because you told people not to move fast and you did it yourself. It was hypocritical. No, I have not. Okay, let me be clear about something. I've been very forthright about what, by the way, what is the term fast? Okay, that's a perception. That's not a statement of fact. We spent a significant amount of time together before we spent probably roughly 120 days together before we moved in together. Do you know what? That's most people dating for a year. Okay, we spent a significant amount of time together. Number one, number two, we engaged in the long distance relationship. So we knew going in that for this to work, we would most likely need to be in the same city. And so we put plans in place. I criticize other people all the time. They're in long distance dynamics. They see each other once or twice a year.  By the way, I've known couples that have moved into, who've literally got engaged and moved in together within three months, been married together for five years. I only encourage women, not to give their heart to someone who hasn't earned it for two people, not to give their heart to one another if they haven't earned it. Miss J-10, 10, you have no idea. This is a perfect example of why, what you hear this tiny little script of what I shared out public. You have no idea what happened behind the scenes, behind the screen, if you will. Do I think we moved too fast? You know what? No, I don't think we moved too fast. I think we did exactly what we needed to do. And we had exactly the experience we needed to have. It's, by the way, I have no regrets. If I had regrets, then I might say, oh, I jumped in too quickly. I have no regrets. I don't think she has regrets. We tried it out. It didn't work, okay? By the way, coming back to my point, I think people should dive in quickly, okay?  I kept saying this during the time I was in relationship with her, I think people should dive in quickly to assess who they are really fast, okay? So I'm gonna say, yes, people should dive in really fast to get to know one another, to see if it had legs. Because our current dating process is friends with benefits, situationships and casual relationships. It's just, by the way, most people who are in relationship today, it's just a version of friends with benefits. There's no real commitment. So that's my response to your, not your accusation, your assessment, okay? And if you don't agree with me, you don't have to watch me either, you know? All right. Simply positive me question, is two hour distance considered long distance? Anything that takes you more than 45 minutes to get there is long distance. Yes, it is long distance. The question is, do you have the time to see each other? That's the question. Deep Diver, where is your lovely lady? I miss her. She is living in Florida. We split up almost five months ago, folks. I don't know where you've been, Deep Diver, but that's been announced a gazillion times. Roller girl, thank you so much. Thank you so much for the $1.99 super sticker. And Sherry wants to remind Deep Diver, watch my video called Letting Go. It's in the live stream, Letting Go. It was roughly in August, that August, September, October, November. So yeah, four months ago is when I aired that, we ended the relationship about a month earlier than that. God, everybody keeps asking, are you still in the long distance? No, I mean, we moved in together. Where have you guys been? Okay, Sunny is in the house. How do you know if I'm ready to start dating again? 66 years old, married three times recently, uncoupled from a six year relationship. Okay, A, how do you know? First, you clearly want to be coupled with someone. Okay, I'm a believer of moving in together, getting married. Those are, that's my framework of partnership. Okay, you wanna be partners with someone. And you no longer need to talk about your past. It no longer gives you a charge. When you no longer have a charge about your past relationships, and you have good relationship skills, you have healthy emotional maturity, and you clearly know what you want, that's when you're ready. Hey, one of my Facebook members, by the way, if you want to connect with me on a regular basis, check out the link below to my group called Midlife Love Mastery. This is a group where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis. It's in the show notes called Midlife Love Mastery and you can have, we have a great Facebook group and we do a once a month webinar. So one of our group members says, I'm in a long distance for two years. My question is, he's waiting to be the kind of man that God wants him to be with his wife before he commits to marriage. I love how he's using God as his gaslighting technique. I don't know what your question is, but in my opinion, you probably, I think he's using God as his gaslighting technique. He gets to use God as his escape clause. That's just my perception, take it for what it's worth. Does anyone else agrees using God as escape clause? Simply positive, me says, is marriage really defunct in the society? No, it's not defunct. Humans are dysfunctional, but, you know, I mean, so we live in chaotic law, we have chaotic marriage laws and such. I spent this weekend with a couple, okay? And I wanna read to everyone their wedding vows. It's called a katuba, which is a Hebrew. So I wanna read this to you. Oh God. On this day, the 6th of April, 2013, we, I won't say their names, we'll say B and S, join in sacred commitment of trust and devotion as living, as love divine partners throughout our lives. By the way, it's too hard, by the way, this is too hard for me to read. It's too tiny a print. My point is, they showed me their vows to one another. And as I read it, I could tell that they genuinely, genuinely, God, I'm struggling with that word. My tongue tied a little, genuinely and sincerely uttered those words without absolute authority. See, most people date cavalierly with no consequences for their action. We live in a world where most relationships are very transactional. It is mostly two people that are trying to get something from the other person. In fact, sadly, here in the United States, we're suckling on the nipple of, I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. We lack that self love, that sovereignty. By the way, this is my book, what that could self love anyway, a journey a person will develop and self helps for it to work. There's a link below to get a copy of my book. So most people here in the United States, probably a majority of you are in transactional relationships or have experienced transactional relationships.  Are we making a commitment to this? Most of you cavalierly, casually, ambivalently are in the process.  You don't establish your boundaries. And I'm screaming to women because listen, there's an old saying, men are the gas, women are the brakes. We are always gonna push for sex. It's your job to put the brakes on and establish the rules. But you've been taught this narrative. I just need to lean back to your feminine energy and let the man claim you. You're giving the job to the wrong person. Look, I'm your big brother.  Because there would be a consequence for their behavior. Casual relationships, there's no consequence for giving mixed signals.  Because there is no commitment, because people don't rush in. I believe people should rush in and make agreements with one another. It's the reason why I created my dating vows. By the way, folks, there's a link below to get this. It's called the dating vows. I'm gonna read it to everyone.   I have women telling me this is working like you can't believe. And it goes like this. I put your name in the blank, agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious within three to six months. I did that, and that's what we did. I agreed to be monogamous sexually while we're having regular sex together. Talk about it up front. I agree not to actively seek to meet and date others while we're in the dating process, including taking my dating profile down. We need exclusivity. I agree to speak up if this isn't working for me versus pulling back, ghosting and disappearing, which is happening most of the time. And I agree to invest regular time in the process to getting to know you, which looks like spending three or four days a night a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both on our personal and our professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy that leads to us either moving in together, getting married. This should be happening, but you guys aren't doing it. Oh, yes, you're gonna say, but guys won't agree to this. Yes, 90% of men will bail on this because there are thousands of women who will have sex without any commitment or agreement whatsoever. If all women band together going forward, they will change how men treat and view sex. In the meantime, if he does agree with this, you have a better chance of commitment without it. By the way, there's a link below to get my dating cows. Okay, I'm a bit righteous. I get it. I'm pontificating, I get it, but I'm trying to make a point here. You know, there's one common denominator in every relationship you have that didn't work out. That common denominator is you. In my case, it's me. Your case, it's you. All right. Hey, by the way, I wanna give Kate some props and say thank you for the $10 super sticker. I also thought Leslie was not a fit. She needs someone more Cosmic Palutin. Jerry was very settled. No, I think she needs more of a metrosexual guy. That's the guy, or metrosexual athlete type of guy. That was my two cents. Hey, thanks for the $10. I think we need 30, 35 more dollars to go. Sharon Elizabeth's in the house. Jonathan, would you and your self-help counselors be willing to create a reality show where you pros counsel potential couples towards finding right match that would be positive? If you put up the money, I will absolutely do the show, Sharon. If someone wants to put up the money, do all the work, I will get a group of counselors in there to talk about it. Okay, I agree with six week timeframe. The relationship I have been in always lasts six to seven weeks, then they are over. I'm hoping at some point this changes by picking better relationships. Amen, Denise, way to go. I agree, I mean, way to go by changing that narrative. Deep divers in the house. Firstly, I agree on diving in quickly. What have you learned from your last relationship? Are you still open to a relationship? Okay, what did I learn about myself? Okay, couple of things. I'm not a good social director within a relationship and probably better serve with someone who's good at saying, hey, let's go do this and let's go do this and let's go do this. I think in her and my case, her social directing was traveling but the day-to-day social directing, I realize I'm not good at it. So I probably need to be with someone who's good at social director. So it was one thing I learned about myself. She up leveled my life in a couple areas. I got out of my bachelor pad, I moved into an ice condo or we moved into an ice condo. So I upgraded my life a little bit in a couple of different areas of my life. I think the other thing is I actually for the first time was all in, like really all in. I don't think I was all in in my marriage and I wasn't all in in my second relationship. I really got to experience what it feels like to be all in. I think part of the reason why she came into my life was so I can become a better teacher to you all so I could have this message really emphasizing the all-in component. That's why I don't believe I've been a hypocrite because I've been espousing. I think a lot of people, they just have sex too fast, okay? But I don't think entering into relationship, I think the sooner you do it, the better. That's why I've never been a hypocrite but most importantly, going all in. Now, does that mean you merge finances together? I think you wanna do your due diligence before that. What else did I learn about myself? I learned that I'm really a terrible traveler. I'm just, I need to be of someone who is going to be okay with the fact that I'm an anxious traveler and a lot of people won't accept that about me. I'm working on getting better at that but I'm just not good at it. My father, as I reflect back now, this is a wound I experienced from childhood from my father. It was terrible to travel with him and imprinted on me. So these are just some of the things I learned but I also am grateful for all the good that came out of it. See, there's no negative charge from this. It's all a positive experience.  I've been in a fully placed and am I ready to be vulnerable with someone? She's gotta earn it. I've gotta earn it and she's gotta earn it. So it's when we both have earned it, that's when I'll be vulnerable. Hey, Sunny gave us a $5 super sticker. Wait, thanks so much, Sunny. We appreciate that. So I think we're $30 away from getting our goal of $50 tonight. All right. Margaret wants to say that no sex before the relationship is established. I agree. That's what we should be doing in the future is having these conversations sooner rather than later. One of our Facebook members says, I asked him since we were in a relationship, let's put we are on Facebook immediately. He said, no, I asked him about the pictures. He said, no, until we get married, what should I do? He's a spender. I'm just, my gut tells me he's known as a spender. He wants companionship, connection and sex. He just doesn't want commitment and he uses God as his escape clause. That's my perception. You know what? Tell him you're gonna keep dating other people until he makes a full commitment to you. Laura says, I believe men cannot be alone. Their egos fall apart in solitude with women the opposite is true probably due to the need to adapt and survive. It's not about sex, it's about power. For some men, I would say that's true. I will say that there are plenty of women who have been wounded and they need their solitude. I mean, here's the thing. Yes, it's not, these aren't absolute truths about all men. So I would just reframe that. I believe some men can't be alone, I true. Some of their, with these men, their egos fall apart with solitude. With some women, the opposite is true, but I know needy women who chase men that are absolute basket cases. So that's just my perception on that, Laura. So thank you. Jane says, what does the common denominator mean me exactly? Kathleen says, thank you, thank you. Gosh, I always said this. Have standards and expect it from others. I keep preaching, we need to keep hearing the two words. There you go. Hey, another $10 super sticker. So now we need 25 more. I think it's like $20 more, $20 to get to our goal. Or would be the other way around, zero, two. Okay. Cecilia says, I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. She said, a particular guy is my trigger. I dated my longtime friend and feel less desperate for triggered guys. Any non-dramatic advice for my dears. You know what? That I would prefer you speak to a counselor that's outside of my area of expertise. If you have general desire. By the way, just be, I think that's usually when you don't feel safe. And so I can understand. So build trust and safety in relationship. Jonathan, is it really that it's only because women are giving it up freely that he won't want marriage? Or is it also because he just happens to suddenly be ready or found the one? Okay, so it's interesting how in some cases a man will be in relationship with a woman and it's a casual relationship. And then all of a sudden it ends and then he falls in love with someone new and he marries that woman. Okay. Couple of things could be going on. If you're not familiar with the work, oh well two books I'm gonna talk about. Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller or the book Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hennecks and Helen Hunt. What could possibly be happening is the first woman he was with didn't trigger his childhood wound. The next woman he met triggers his childhood wound and because it's familiar to him he attaches to that person. So it's not like, by the way, folks do you realize that first marriages ended a 50% rate? And by the way, what's left over half of them are miserable, okay? Second marriages ended a 65% rate and third marriages ended a 75% rate. Okay. Not, we might say that's a bad technology but here's the thing. Most relationships ended at about a 95% rate, okay? So the real, it doesn't matter all those statistics. What matters most is what are you going to do about your love life? What are you gonna do about yours? It doesn't matter what he does about his. What are you gonna do about yours? How are you gonna choose better? What are you gonna do to establish a healthy, happy relationship? Are you gonna read the books I recommend? Are you gonna have deeper conversations? Are you gonna practice radical honesty?  Are you gonna establish the rules of engagement?  Are you gonna declare you're in a relationship with one another? Or are you just gonna do what most people do? They all hope magic fairy dust is gonna change all of this. Magic fairy dust doesn't work.  I don't hate traveling. I just have anxiety when I travel because when I'm in a place that's not familiar to me, I don't feel safe. I just drove down to San Diego even just driving in the city. Wasn't familiar to me for a moment. I just didn't feel safe. It's a weakness I have. I'm aware of it. I'm not proud of it. Sharon says, Jonathan, lucky for you. I am a great grant writer and successful at fundraising. We accept the challenge. There you go. I accept, I appreciate that. Great the show. Jane Spitfire says, do you think sometimes things happen in relationship beyond our control? Please people should not judge Leslie on the golden bachelor hearse because of two divorces. You know what? We all have skeletons in our closet. If your life was looked at under a microscope, I guarantee you. He who without sin cast the first stone. It's amazing how righteous people are when you can get to point the finger at other people because you don't look at the three fingers pointing back at you. Just my perception anyway. All right, let's keep going. Oh, we just got a Sharon. Sharon Elizabeth, $10 for the Connor Asley fund. Thank you so much. All right, we need $10 more tonight. She, why don't we make it a goal of a hundred? So we need $60 more dollars. Okay. How do you build hindsight when you annoy each other in any type of relationship? Well, hindsight is looking backward and saying, I wished I did something different. I think, you know, folks from a spiritual perspective, life's a journey. It's just a journey. I believe that we come back and do it again. I believe in reincarnation. I believe in multiple universes. I believe that time is an illusion. This is just the way I choose to live my perception of this. So I once wrote a book, life is a game. Where is that book? Life is a game. Oh God. So where's that book? Life's a game. So if life is a game, oh, the game of life and how to play it. If you think of it as a game, as play. Now, I mean, we have to be serious.  By the way, check out this book by Florence Shin. Just a way of looking at things. By the way, $2 Super Sticker from Sherry. Thank you so much. I appreciate the love. Thanks so much. Beach Lover says, Leslie was more real. I got the impression that Trisa was better in bed. Well, supposedly she knocked his socks off. So I guess she was bragging again.     I don't wanna say live recklessly, but live like there is no tomorrow. And if that's what they're doing, bravo to them. Hey, Anna just gave us a $1.99 Super Sticker. Thank you so much. Why do men give mixed signals? I shared this early on the broadcast. Okay, a couple of things. A, they clearly don't know what they want. And when they don't know what they want, they give mixed signals. Or the life, their life is in chaos and they still don't know what they want, but they're in chaos, which makes them give mixed signals all the time.  Margaret said, Jonathan, interesting perspective. When you live life with the perception that we get to go back and do this over and over and over again. By the way, where does the concept of soulmates come? Concept of soulmates is you've connected with someone in a past life. So I do believe that Marie and I were soulmates. I had a, when we, when I, one of our ceremonies we did, I had a vision that we were both from two separate South American tribes. She was a princess in her tribe. I think she was 16 years old. I was a 19 year old warrior, even though in real life, she's older than me. And I think from a spiritual perspective, I'm probably a little bit older than her. And I came in, took her away from her family. And what did she end up doing? I had this vision in the first couple months of us dating. And what did she tell me? She had to leave to go be with her family. Kind of an interesting, folks, this is the honest to God's truth, okay? I had a clear vision that I came into her tribe. She and I fell in love. I took her away from her tribe, okay? That's the vision I had. Our relationship ended because she wanted to go back to her tribe. Kind of an interesting similarity there. Hey, oh my God, we just got a $20. Anna, thank you so much for the super sticker. And we just got, and I think, and Sharon, I also wanna give props for hers. Okay, let's see what we have here. Anna, a guy is dating this great woman few months after they are in a committed relationship. He drops the bomb. I've been diagnosed with depression and I'm prescribed meds for it. Is that fair? Folks, life isn't fair, okay? There's nothing fair about life, okay? So just get that. There's nothing fair. Was that fair to her? Probably not, but life isn't fair. Look at my son. I don't wanna say he was taken away from me, but he left this planet. Is that fair? Or was that just what was supposed to happen?  By the way, do you realize that if you're capable of watching this broadcast, you are richer than 90% of the population in the world or 80% of the, you're richer than 80% of the population of the world. Is that fair that there's poverty? Is that fair that there's disease? Is that fair that there's a car accident? Is that fair that the person drank and crossed a red light and killed someone? I don't know what fair is, but what I do know is, okay, what I do know is we all have the capacity to live by the four agreements, by the four agreements. If you haven't read this book by Don Miguel Ruiz, the four agreement states, be impeccable with your word. Always do your best. People's perception of you is their projections of you and don't take anything personally. If you can live by this, you'll have a much happier life. What matters most is what you do, not what someone else does. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. What is this about? Wonder if the guy said, been in prison before, I don't know what that is about prison. Simply positive, me wants to say, Jonathan, warrior, Jonathan. I don't feel like a warrior at this stage in my life. I think I'm a warrior of the heart. I think I'm a heart protector in that sense. I don't think I'm a warrior in the physical sense. I mean, by the way, if a mugger came up to us, we're fucked, okay? I'm not capable of defending myself. I'm an old man now. So not that I'm putting that energy out there, but I'm just saying, I'm a warrior of the heart now. Can someone write that down? Jonathan's the warrior of the heart. Okay, we'll start taking personal questions. Do you think you and Marie had unfinished business and that's why you got together? Absolutely. I think we were meant to heal each other.  I have a quote, it's a Jonathan quote. Can someone put this in the chat box? Soulmates come into our lives to teach us lessons. Soulmates come into our lives to teach us lessons. True love goes to school with us each and every day holding hands. True love goes to school with us each and every day holding hands. Soulmates come into our lives to teach us lessons. True love goes to school with us each and every day and holding hands. The point is, I think soulmates are there to help you learn and grow and your true love is there to grow in the same classroom holding hands together. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Do you and Marie still speak? Actually, she sent me a text message this morning asking about a therapy for people who have lost loved ones. And I responded to that and I think we spoke a couple of weeks ago on the phone for about 20 minutes. So yeah, but I mean, it's not like we talk every day. I mean, we've spoken a handful of times since the relationship ended. Lisa wants to say Jonathan is a warrior of the heart. Thank you so much. All right, here's a Jonathan quote. Soulmates come into our lives to teach us lessons. True love goes to school with us each and every day holding hands. Don't you just love that? I love it. I'm proud of it. That's a Jonathan quote. I'm gonna leave that up for a while. Jane Spitfire says a real man wants true love.  Okay, what is a real man? We're all real, okay? It's just that terminology is blasphemy, okay? An emotionally grown up man who ready for long-term commitment wants true love. That is true. Deep diver says, Jonathan, I think you're best suited with the lady who is less of a traveler and truly loves and supports your business. I agree and disagree. Actually, I wanna travel so I need a professional traveler in my life.  My mission, I have a mission folks. My mission is to spread self love. My mission is to encourage self love. My mission is to draw attention to this dysfunctional way human beings date, mate, and relate that's part of my mission.  It'd be, you know what? I really want someone with a private plane, private jet. That would be perfect. Somebody that I can just trust them to take care of everything. All right, Kate is in the house and she says, what sort of activities and events are you doing to open yourself up to meeting an intentional partner besides being on the apps? Not sure if you're actually on them, but just curious. Okay, I am on four dating apps or two apps and two websites. I am on Bumble, I am on Hinge, I'm on Millionaire Match and I'm on match.com. Number one, last week I went to a singles mixer. Last week I went to a sound bath meditation. Next week I'm going to a spiritual journey with about 12 people. What else? I have gone to, hey, I've gone out Friday nights to sat at a bar with a friend. What else, with a female friend. She was my wing woman. What else have I done? Oh, I went to a spiritual art fair. I'm contacting friends. These are just some of the things in my repertoire that I'm doing to meet, you know, a well-suited partner. Okay, but thank you for asking, I appreciate it. Roller Girl says, I love Jonathan's quote. Thank you so much, I appreciate that. My mission is to create healthy relationships and partnerships, absolutely. How do you feel about Marie keeping tabs with you after breaking breakup? Do you get butterflies in your stomach? First off, she's not keeping tabs on me, so I want to clarify. So do I get butterflies? No, I don't. I have healed from that relationship. I am grateful for the experience. I care for her, I care for, you know, I've made a promise to myself recently. I always, it's something I say to myself before going to bed. I say loving myself and everyone else, loving myself and everyone else, loving myself and everyone else, loving myself and everyone else. And I make a vow to do my best, to be of love to everybody. Even the people that I can't stand, I do my best, I try to follow that doctrine. So I have care for her, I want her to be happy and I want to know that our children are happy. These were people that came into my life briefly and my son was kind enough, look at Colin right there, what a sweetheart. He texted Marie on Thanksgiving and wished her a happy Thanksgiving. You know what, just because two people aren't in relationship doesn't mean you can't be friendly to one another. That's called being an emotional grownup. All right, Cecilia says, what's your view on being careful with emotional investment? I think emotional investment is earned. Takes about a hundred hours of face to face time to build the first layer of trust. Build trust through social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends. The more trust you build with someone, the safer you feel to be emotionally open to them. Margaret goes on to say, we all want someone with a private jet. Ain't that the truth? Kate wants to respond and say incredibly intentional stuff. I love that you are in it to win. In it to win, I love it. I am making a statement, I'm setting, I am declaring I'm in it to win, I love it. So probably be the last question of the evening. Would you prefer if you had to choose one, a professional traveler or a woman who has passion for your mission too? I mean, why can't I have both? But I would, I'd prefer someone that was into my mission. That's, you know, that's more important to me than travel. Travel is something is just a desire. A mission is my being, you know? So yeah, I would want someone to answer your question. I don't need a professional traveler. Margaret wants to just acknowledge emotional grownup exactly. Jane Spitfire says, thank you, RG. Yep, that's are the traits of, I don't like real men. Men who have their act together support kind of become your best friend. Why not? I said that, I agree, Kate, why not both? Mission, love and travel savvy. Yes, I'm in agreement. All right, folks, to wrap up the golden bachelor, those are my views and what I feel he did or didn't do. Folks, there's nothing easy about this. My invitation for all of you is to first, do the inner work, do the healing, get in such a place that you don't need someone to love you, for you to feel good about yourself, feel so good about yourself that you become a magnetic attractor for what you want. You will no longer be looking for a needle in the haystack. You will become the electromagnet. Can I get an amen? Can I, oh, excuse my pit stains. Can I get an amen? All right, folks, if you have something to say, post a comment below, I'd like to hear your thoughts. Hey, by the way, last chance to donate some money to the Connor Asley Scholarship Fund, hit that dollar sign, or you can purchase a super thanks if you're watching the replay. This would be a great place to wrap up this video. I'm gonna first, oh, by the way, if you liked this video, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos. And I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do.  I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone. Teddy Bear or pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Tara and Deep Diver and Margaret and Cecilia and Sherry and Eva and Michelle and Jameson and Jane Spitfire and Anna and Kate and RG. Oh, that's who the RG was. Deep Diver, Gigi Beach Lover. All right, folks. Oh my God, look at this. Tara came in and just gave us a $50 super sticker. Hey, what love. Thank you so much.  We're gonna give you a big, gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of real love. Thanks so much, everyone. Hope you found value in this show. Have a wonderful fantastic day.


Talk about conspiracies. I believe that it actually is a conspiracy the flat earth thing like for real now I'm being serious, and I think this is true. Okay. I believe the flat earth can I believe the flat earth? Groups and people and all this because look it's not moderated on it's not taken off of YouTube It's not taken off of anywhere. They just these flat earth people. They just run rampant Everywhere, I mean all over the place this flat earth stuff is all of the but I believe that it's actually there It's it's there to discredit to discredit actual Conspiracies it's it's there to be this this over-the-top You know conspiracy thing to just looks completely crazy to make anybody who has any kind of conspiracy theory Look like a nutcase So I mean I believe that the flat earth thing is actually a tool of Satan to to discredit People that are seeking truth out there and look I mean I believe that it's working because you know I mean the flat earth thing is completely it's it's bonkers like I said I'm not saying you can't be saved if you're a flat earther, but I'm telling I mean just personally as a pastor I don't think I'd want a flat earther in in church I mean because there's just gonna be so many other problems that come along with that unless of course you can you know Sit down with them with a globe and you know spin it around a few times and maybe convince them But you know I mean look you know I'm not even against conspiracy theories But you know for you know for crying out loud your conspiracy guides should be you know question everything You know but not the Bible


Larry Phillips and I were on Highway 190 about 515 that morning when we saw the train coming. Over on the north side of the tracks, the cars began pining up in one knocking pine tree over in front of us. We were about 65 feet from the main explosion. We're lucky we didn't get killed. I was getting ready to go to work Tuesday morning when I heard a large explosion. Quickly I went to the derailment site and got a couple of identification numbers off of the car. According to the reference manual, the materials in the rail cars were caustic and acid. I then radioed state police headquarters for help and lots of it. The Anatomy of a Crisis. This program has been prepared for the cooperative efforts of the EPA out of the state of Louisiana with funding provided by the EPA. On Tuesday, September 28, 1982, at approximately 5.10 in the morning, an Illinois Central freight train with 101 car derailed in the town of Livingston, Louisiana. The derailed cars, many of which contained hazard materials, presented an extremely dangerous threat to human health and the environment. There was an immediate high risk of exposure to flammable and toxic organic substances, as well as acid and caustic. More than 3,000 people were evacuated from the area for 14 days. The derailment proved to be one of the worst chemical transportation actions ever to be experienced by the state of Louisiana. In retrospect, however, this event will be recorded as one of the best managed chemical transportation actions in Louisiana's history. On the morning of September 28, 1982, I was having coffee at my house, listening to the train pass. I heard a series of loud crashes followed a few seconds later by a violent explosion. My son and I went to see what had happened. We could see that the train had derailed and that five cars were on fire. Other people were beginning to gather near the site. After talking with the breakmen of the train and understanding the danger of leaking and burning chemicals, I decided to begin evacuating a small area near the derailment. Shortly afterwards, the state police began arriving in force. I'm Trooper Will Carter of the Hazardous Mutual Unit of the Louisiana State Police. When we were called, according to our previously developed plans, we notified the National Response Center, the Louisiana Department of Natural Resources, and the Louisiana Department of Agriculture. We also established a security perimeter around the scene. The National Response Center notified the Environmental Protection Agency and other needed federal agencies. Upon arrival, we immediately obtained the train manifest from the conductor to determine what hazardous materials were being carried on the train and began to survey the damage and assess the potential immediate danger. We observed that the accident was in downtown Livingston with business offices and residences within a very few feet of the wreck and there were large fires burning out of control. The smoke plume from the fire was carrying chemical vapors blowing in the direction that required further evacuation. This early gathering, assessment, and evaluation of information was crucial. We found that we needed to expand the evacuation, monitoring of the air quality by Louisiana Department of Natural Resources, Louisiana Department of Health, Environmental Protection Agency, and Coast Guard confirmed the area of evacuation. As this was a transportation-related accident, State Police Colonel Grover Garrison named me on-scene coordinator. The incident team supporting me consisted of state police personnel, railroad, industry, and government agency representatives. We established a command post several miles from the scene. This scenario was based on prior training and practice. This team also included Bureau of Explosives personnel from the Association of American Railroads and Hazard Materials Specialist of the Railroad who played a major role in the emergency phase to remove the uninviled portion of the train and contain the chemicals released from damaged cars. Representatives of the chemical industry were also on the scene immediately to provide technical advice on the chemical properties and dangers involved. These were vital sources of response capability and expertise that only industry itself could provide. The state law authorizes state police to be the on-scene coordinator during the emergency phase of any transportation incident. That is the fire and explosion phase. Cleanup. The second period in such an incident is directed by the Louisiana Department of Natural Resources. I'm Ross Williams of that department. When we arrived on the scene, we set about working with the OSC, which is the on-scene coordinator, and developing an effective monitoring program to provide the data needed for decisions concerning the evacuation and personnel safety on the scene. The first thing we set up was a 24-hour air monitoring program that lasted throughout the fire and explosion phase. This air monitoring effort, particularly of the evacuated perimeter, was essential because the situation was continuously changing. By monitoring the area with portable instruments and a mobile van, we could be sure the area outside the perimeter was safe. We also began setting up a monitoring program and testing programs for surface water and groundwater. Then we began testing the soil and continued with air monitoring for hazardous chemicals. Representatives of other agencies began arriving on the scene. Bill Labrese, EPA head of the Region 6 response team, had representatives on the scene from day one. The RRT regional response team, as we call it, established by the Superfund legislation, consists of representatives of federal and state agencies involved in emergency incidents. It is the job of the RRT to assist in the pre-incident planning by federal, state, and local agencies, and to offer direct on-scene support to make sure that we know that available capabilities and resources are effectively and efficiently utilized in response to an emergency incident. We offer support and advice to all agencies in order to ensure that response systems exist before the accident occurs and that the right resources are available to the on-scene coordinator. EPA Region 6 on-scene coordinator is Frank Gorey, who arrived at the Livingston scene on day one. We at the EPA emergency response team in Region 6 have the capability to handle an accident and coordinate the response if necessary. In the case of Livingston, the state police assumed the role of the on-scene coordinator and EPA provided support in the environmental monitoring aspects of the operation. When I arrived, EPA immediately began assisting the Department of Natural Resources in their air, water, and soil monitoring. I also called in other resources such as the United States Coast Guard Gulf Strike Team and the EPA's Special Environmental Response Team. The strike team arrived within hours of the beginning of the incident and assisted in sampling and monitoring the air and soil. We also set up perimeter environmental surveys of the area for personnel safety. On day two of the emergency, the fires involving the vinyl chloride cars intensified. An area to the west of the derailment was diked to contain the flow of corrosive acid. The first ground entry to the scene was made by an armored vehicle as we continued to identify the cars and their contents. By the end of day two, only the derail cars were left on the scene. All of the other cars which could be moved away had been taken away by the railroad. A forward command post was established near a grocery about a quarter of a mile from the wreck. This command post was used for staging our reconnaissance operations within the security perimeter where extreme precautions were taken to protect personnel who were observing, taking samples, and operating equipment in the vicinity of the wreck. A decontamination station was established at the forward command post to provide personnel with facilities to put on and take off protective gear and to prevent the spread of chemicals by teams entering the scene. Showers were later added to the station to thoroughly wash chemicals from all personnel. All contaminated water was collected and disposed in a safe manner. The public, particularly the evacuees, needed to be kept informed. One spokesman for the entire incident was appointed for this task. With frequent briefings throughout the course of the incident, we informed the people as to the environmental and health situations on and around the scene. Through him, we were able to transfer information about progress at the site and when the evacuees might be able to return to their homes. It was also learned that the domestic animal and livestock left behind presented a specific problem regarding proper care and feeding. Beginning day three of the Livingston train derailment, we began feeding animals in the area. A special telephone number was arranged so that residents might call in and tell us about their pets and livestock. We fed horses, milk cows, cattle, dogs, cats and chickens. The next and most difficult step in abating the emergency was to try to clear the derail cars. Because of flame impingement on numerous pressure cars which contained volatile organic chemicals, a possibility of an explosion was extremely high. And indeed, on day four, that possibility became a reality. An explosion of severe magnitude did occur. This explosion is termed a blevy. Which means boiling liquid, expanding vapor, explosion. When the explosion did occur, it not only delayed the clearing of the tracks but delayed air, soil and water monitoring as well. It also was a major factor in deciding to extend the evacuation. Large pieces of metal were scattered and thrown for over a thousand feet. The rail tank car was blasted over 600 feet through the forest knocking down trees, fence posts and barns. Such was the power of this force. When the blevy occurred, there was structural damage as far as a half a mile from the site. The occurrence of a blevy was anticipated but could not be predicted. The residents of the area had been forewarned of the expectation and proper precautions were taken. After the explosion, the residents stopped saying, I want to go home. And the credibility of the state police, which had been disseminating warnings, was greatly enhanced. Some companies have emergency response systems. The Illinois Central Gulf Railroad sent their team members who assumed control of their responsibilities. By viewing daily on-scene videotapes, we gained immediate knowledge of the problems and progress without personnel risk. This was extremely helpful in making our plans because the state police could not allow large groups to actually make on-site inspections. And rightly so. The railroad and the chemical industry responded with men and equipment from the beginning but it was day seven when the fire subsided enough to begin clearing the wreckage. We transferred the contents of some of the cars into trailers and moved them off the scene. A serious problem developed when we were trying to move one of the more extensively damaged tank cars. In the process of re-railing the styrene car, an additional crack was exposed and the entire car reignited and was engulfed in flames. Water sprays from the fire department on standby during re-railment protected the workers and there were no injuries. Another resource utilized was Chemtrek, an industry-sponsored source of information on hazardous materials. A conference call with three of the largest manufacturers of styrene was arranged by Chemtrek and it was decided the best course of action would be to vent and burn the car entirely to prevent both hazardous vapors and liquids from permeating the air and ground. State police explosive specialist set the explosive charges on the car in the early morning hours of day eight. The car burned for most of the day until all of the styrene was consumed. Air monitoring was continued by the Department of Natural Resources, the Environmental Protection Agency and the Coast Guard throughout this action. The evacuation was still in effect on day nine. Efforts during day ten continued in the gathering of data and the further elimination of hazards. On day eleven our direct was used to re-rail three cars and move them out of the area. At the same time the oil cars were offloaded and the phosphoric acid cars were moved. More cars were pulled from both ends of the derailment until finally the six vinyl chloride cars were isolated. Railroad personnel and personnel from the Bureau of Explosives began discussing with me explosive venting of all six vinyl chloride cars. After careful deliberation we concluded that it would be safer to intentionally vent and burn the cars so we might control the fires that could otherwise result. The situation involving the six vinyl chloride cars was unique. Several cars were damaged and still burning. There was considerable danger in attempting to move these cars. This was our absolute last resort and I would have never tried to explosively vent the tanks. If experienced personnel from industry had not been there. We had this confidence due to prior planning to rely on each other. The local, state, federal agencies and industry all worked well together. On day 12 a large pit was dug around the six cars. The charges were designed and placed to rupture the cars to allow the vinyl chloride to drain into the pits to burn quickly and safely. The resulting fires burned throughout the night for approximately 12 hours until the vinyl was consumed. On day 13 after the fires had died down the cars were examined and flushed with water to decontaminate them. The contaminated water was collected and treated prior to discharge from the site. The emergency was now under control and the full attention of the team was directed to determining the possibility of allowing the evacuees to return to their homes. During the previous 12 days while the state police was fighting the hazards of fire and explosion the departments of natural resources, health and agriculture along with the EPA and the Coast Guard were testing the soil, surface water, drinking water, air and vegetation. The data collected was used to determine when it would be safe for the area residents to return to their homes and provided assurances that there was no contamination of the areas to be re-inhabited. Because large quantities of hazardous materials had leaked into the ground and air and because potentially harmful byproducts of combustion could result from the fires there was concern about residual contamination of the area. Together the DNR, DHR and EPA designed and implemented a sampling program to answer those questions. Soil samples were taken from the surface and at 6-inch depths. Water samples were taken from ponds and streams. Wipe samples from cars and windows. Vegetation samples from local gardens. And blood and milk samples from domestic animals. Since it was DHR's responsibility to make the decision regarding human health it was essential that DHR be consulted and have input to the design and planning stage of the environmental study. The state health department, after review of the data, made the decision to allow Livingston residents to return to their homes on the 14th day of the incident, the next day, October 12th. The evacuation will be lifted at 8 o'clock in the morning, day 14. The residents may return to the evacuated areas. I think the Department of Health is going to have a pamphlet to hand out to the people as to what precautions should be taken and should be given to them when they go into town. It is the Louisiana Department of Health and Human Resources responsibility at such an event to evaluate the environmental data, make health-related risk assessments and render decisions regarding human health accordingly. We needed to know when the residents could safely be allowed to return to their homes. Early review and evaluation of environmental testing conducted throughout the incident provided the Department of Health with enough information to make this critical decision. As the emergency ended, the health-related questions began. Questions were handled at the checkpoints and later by telephone by the environmental epidemiology team. I had very mixed emotions about coming back in. I was leery and I was glad. Naturally, I wanted to check on my house and I wanted to make sure it was safe for my grandchildren. But I had a lot of faith in our public officials and our mayor for making the decision and I felt like it was safe to come back in. The Department of Health also distributed letters to the physicians within the area and maintained constant contact with the population through the parish health unit and the mayor's office. We wanted the citizens to know that they were not going to be left alone in the aftermath of this accident. The concerns of the residents were answered whenever possible. Additionally, in effort to allay fears and concerns, all of the state and federal agencies involved in the incident participated in a large town meeting held after the residents returned. A report describing the activities and evaluations of the response teams was distributed to the citizens during this meeting. Questions were answered from the audience as to their health concerns. Mapping of the extensive sampling patterns were provided so the residents could see what had been done by their government agencies. As Colonel Garrison said, this event will be recorded as one of the best-managed chemical transportation disasters in history. This occurred intentionally. It was not by luck but through sound state and federal legislation as well as planning, training and emerging of skills from all levels of government and industry. As of May 1983, more than 55,000 cubic yards of soil, which is the equivalent of 45 football fields one foot deep, have been removed. Over 12 million gallons of contaminated rainwater and liquid waste have been treated or removed from the site. Cleanup of the site in Livingston is continuing until acceptable limits established by the Department of Natural Resources are reached. Extensive water and soil testing will continue to ensure that the cleanup has been effective in meeting the stringent standards set by the state.


Ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon, I'm Captain Jonathan Carter, commanding officer of the Coast Guard Cover Stone, and I would like to extend a warm welcome to everyone joining us here today. As Gregor Charleston, South Carolina, is officially designated as a Coast Guard candidate. Before we begin the official portion of our ceremony, I ask that you please silence all personal electronic devices. Military members will remain covered for the entire ceremony. During our national anthem, military members shall salute, and those not in uniform shall stand facing the flag with their right hand over their heart. A sequence of events is located inside your program to assist you in following today's ceremony. The designation of a Coast Guard community is a very special occasion that formally recognizes a community for its outstanding support of our United States Coast Guard. Presiding over today's ceremony will be the 27th Commandant of the Coast Guard, Admiral Linda Fager. I would personally like to thank each of you for taking time out of your very busy day as we honor Gregor Charleston and its relationship with our United States Coast Guard. I'd especially like to thank and recognize the following individuals. Please hold your applause till the end. U.S. Representative of South Carolina's First Congressional District, the honorable Nancy Mays. Mayor of the City of Charleston, Mayor William Cotswain. Mayor of the City of North Charleston, Mayor Reggie Burgess. Mayor of the town of Mount Pleasant, Mayor Will Haley. South Carolina State Senator, Senator Sean Bennett. South Carolina State Senator, Senator Brian Harris. South Carolina State Representative, Mr. Tom Hartman. The 26th Commandant of the Coast Guard, Admiral Carl Schultz. Vice Admiral Lincoln McAllister, the U.S. Coast Guard retired. The Master Chief Petty Officer of the Coast Guard, Master Chief Heath Jones, and the Coast Guard Ombudsman at-large, Miss Carol Jones. The Secretary of the South Carolina Department of Veterans Affairs, the honorable Todd McCaffrey. Charleston County Council Chair, Mr. Herbert Sass, Vice Chair, Miss Ginny Honeycup, and Council Member, Mr. Joe Boykin. North Charleston Council Member, Mr. Michael Brock. Coast Guard Deputy Command Officer, material readiness, we're Admiral Laura Dickey. Coast Guard Operational Logistics Commander, we're Admiral Corolla List. Coast Guard Director of Government, Governmental of the Public Affairs, we're Admiral Will Watson. Coast Guard Chief Prosecutor, we're Admiral William Dwyer. TSA Federal Security Director, Mr. David McMahon. Deputy Comptroller, U.S. State Department, Mr. William Davidson. Naval Information Warfare Center, Atlantic. Captain Nicole Nigro and Mr. Peter Redden. Commanding Officer, Coast Guard Cutter James, Captain Don Tertain. Commanding Officer, Coast Guard Cutter Calhoun, Captain Tim Simmel. Coast Guard Base Charleston, Captain Eric Jones. Coast Guard Mary Time Lines Law Enforcement Academy, Captain Randall Brown. Commander of Joint Base Charleston, 628th Air Base Wing, Colonel Michael Freeman. Navy Nuclear Power Training Unit, Charleston. Captain Reed County. Berkeley Charleston, Dorchester Council of Governments Executive Director, Mr. Ron Meacham. South Carolina Director of Governmental Affairs, Mr. Mark Hendry. Charleston County Administrator, Strater, Mr. Bill Tutton. Berkeley County Administrator, Mr. Johnny Crill. Dorchester County Administrator, Mr. Jason Warren. Dorchester School District, two Superintendent, Dr. Shane Robbins. Lucy Beckham High School Assistant Principal, Mr. Karen Pickering. Representing Charleston County School District, Mr. Jeff Barrow. Representing Charleston Metro Chamber of Commerce, Mr. Scott Barrow. Charleston Chief of Police, Cheeto Walker. South Carolina Port Authority President and CEO, Ms. Barbara Melvin. Maritime Association of South Carolina President and CEO, Ms. Taylor Jack. Patriots Point Developmental Authority Executive Director, Allison Hunt. USS Yorktown Foundation Chairman, Chauncey Clark and Rear Admiral, Jim Flatley. The United States Navy, retired. Coast Guard Foundation Executive Director, Ms. Susan Newville. Greater Charleston City Council, excuse me, Greater Charleston Council of the Navy Unique and Past National President, Mr. James Offord. Representing Senator Lindsey Graham, Mr. Daniel Head, Mr. Aaron Strickland and Ms. Bailey Wright. Representing Senator Tim Scott, Ms. Caitlyn, excuse me, Ilseley and Ms. Katherine Hunter. Representing Congressman Jim Clyden, Mr. Donald Trevon. Accompanying Congresswoman Mace, Dr. Lore, excuse me, Dr. DeLoree Cattado, Ms. Lisa Kidwall, Mr. Noah Lindquist, Mr. Sean Brooklyn and Ms. Gabrielle Lipski. A special shout out to the OMS government, senior listed members and crew members of many of our Coast Guard units here with us today as well as a strong turnout from the Coast Guard retiree community here in the low country and all federal, state and local government officials and military service members and their families. I would also like to extend a special thanks to the Coast Guard band who will be performing today and the Coast Guard Honor Guard and the Lucy Beckham J.R.O.T.C. Honor Guard for their outstanding display of professional. The great Charleston Council of the Navy League would like to recognize and thank the business sponsors that made this ceremony possible. Charleston Defense Contractors, Association President, Mr. Gary Jaffe and his team. Atlas Tech President and CEO of Mr. Brian Miller and his team. Akama, Business Development Director, Mr. Gabe Bell and his team. We also have a special note of thanks to South Carolina courts for their generous use of this facility and their expert team in arranging today's events. A special thank you to the Charleston County government team for sponsoring the application for this community to become a Coast Guard community and for their valuable support in today's ceremony. And finally, and I promise finally, a special thank you to the many volunteers supporting this event including members from Coast Guard Auxiliary Division 12, Citadel Cadets, Coast Guard J.R.O.T.C. Cadets from Lucy Beckham High School and our Navy League volunteers. Thank you all and bravo, Zulu. Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the arrival of the official party and remain standing through the presentation of colors, the playing of our national anthem and delivery identification. It is a military custom and tradition to provide military honors for all high-ranking dignitaries and flag officers. Musical honors will consist of four ruffles and flourishes followed by the Admiral's March. Those in uniforms should remain colored and follow my cues for rendering a hand salute. Now, Chairman Charleston County Council arriving. Now, Commander Coast Guard District 7 arriving. Now, U.S. Representative for South Carolina's First Congressional District arriving. Coast Guard arriving. Salute, John and Cypher, for today's invocation. Today we thank you for the growth and vibrancy of the Greater Charleston Area, particularly the Coast Guard and the maritime community. You have blessed our community with a rich and storied history, economical prosperity, and a flourishing maritime commerce.  Today we thank and praise you for the Greater Charleston's welcoming spirit to the servicemen and women of our Coast Guard. What a blessing to have such wonderful and harmonious relationship with the community that you live in and work for. Today we invite your presence on this special occasion as the Greater Charleston Area is officially designated the Coast Guard community. Bless our celebration and continue to forge this special bond between our Coasties and their community. Amen. Thank you, John. Now I invite Coast Guard, 7th District Commander, Rear Admiral, Doug Scofield, to introduce the comma of our United States Coast Guard. It's really great to be here as the operational commander. I'll put the shore version. It's really great to be here because the men and women that serve it in the air on the sea and ashore love this community. That's why we're here. We're here because our future is brighter and I'm certainly as the operational commander for the 7th District which includes South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, and the Caribbean. I'm very honored to be here with you today. So thank you for taking your time of your day to honor this Greater Charleston Area in this remarkable relationship with the United States Coast Guard. A special thank you to this distinguished guest here in attendance. Obviously we heard the names or this is an important event. As Captain Carter mentioned the designation of a Coast Guard community is a very special occasion that formally recognized its supports of the United States Coast Guard today more than ever. The Coast Guard greatly values our partnerships in this region and day in and day out, sector Charleston units demonstrate the attributes that have set us apart as the world's greatest Coast Guard. And that begins with our more than 1,600 dedicated men and women and their families active duty, reserve, civilians, and exhilarates assigned to these units. Our operations depend on the spirited collaborative effort with our federal, state, and local partners in the Greater Charleston Area who are immensely helpful in the combined mission efforts. I thank you for the bottom of my heart there. We could not accomplish our missions without the stewardship and the support of the communities we serve in. Thank you. So now I want to introduce the Commandant of the Coast Guard, Amber Linda Fagan. She is the 27th Commandant of the United States Coast Guard, oversees the global Coast Guard operations and over 78,000 active duty, reserve, and civilian personnel, and exhilarate volunteers. She has served in all seven continents from the snows of Ross Island, Antarctica, to the heart of Africa, and many ports along the way. Amber Fagan has worked with both the international maritime organizations and international label organizations on flags and port state issues. Amber Fagan is the longest-serving active duty marine safety officer and holds the distinction of being the Coast Guards. First ever, Gold Ancient Trident. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Amber Linda Fagan to the podium. Thank you. Amber's right before me again. It's seasoned, not ancient. So good afternoon and welcome of one and all. I'm going to go back to all of the senior elected officials, dignitaries, friends of the Coast Guard, retirees, just thank you all. Thank you for being here as we celebrate this community as a as a Coast Guard community. Representative Mace is particularly just nice to meet you and have you here celebrating with us. I am really excited that we're going to honor Charleston today as a Coast Guard community. You know, Coast Guard has proudly served in Charleston for more than 230 years and it is an incredible place for our people to work and to call home. I've spent time today with some of the units here in the area and met a few of the families. They could not be a happier group of people. They love being here and it's clear to me that the community also enjoys our presence here and I thank you for that. The community is embraced and supported our Coast Guard workforce and their families and it enables them to perform their duties in service to the nation, to their greatest potential. And so you know as I face the back of the room what you don't see is the stream of people from the community who are going on board the ship to see the ship first hand and see what it is that our Coast Guard men and women do as ships like the stone leave port and go and ensure our economic prosperity and our national security. So you know again it is no surprise to see so many community leaders with us here today and especially the port partners in Charleston, members of the Maritime Association of South Carolina, all critical partners in what we do each and every day. The Charleston Defense Contractors Association and other colleagues from the other armed forces, our fellow Department of Homeland Security components and other federal agencies thank you for joining us. You know a warm welcome to to receive here extends to our Coast Guard families as well who are here with us as they say our members in uniform go out and do difficult work to support the nation but they are only able to do it because of the support of their families and so it's a privilege to to have family members here here with us as well. I'd like to recognize and thank officials from the Charleston County Superintendent's Office and welcome the Coast Guard children in the area school's leaders from the medical community, state local law enforcement emergency managers thank you. I don't have many non-profit organizations here today steadfastly support the Coast Guard such as the Palmetto Military Support Group, the USO, Yorktown Foundation, Patriots Point Development Authority and the Navy League. In fact the Navy League is everywhere the Coast Guard is. I cannot name an event or a location literally anywhere in the world where I have not seen the Navy League representatives. Thank you for your special support of the Coast Guard. I'd specifically like to thank the Greater Charleston Chapter of the Navy League for taking the lead in arranging today's event. We've got project officer many who have come together to make this event of what it is here today does not happen by accident but for the the initiative leadership and drive of the Navy League is why we're all here and so again thank you thank you very much. I would like to recognize one person in particular who is really instrumental in bringing us all here today and that's Jim Ramsey. Jim's a Coast Guard veteran, a Bosans mate. He served as president of the Charleston Chapter of the Navy League. He's who initiated the process to apply for Coast Guard community designation for Charleston and surrounding communities. Unfortunately Jim passed away before the process was completed but I know his family is here in attendance and today we will honor his memory, his initiative, his service, his commitment to not just the Coast Guard but to Charleston and so really we have Jim Ramsey to thank for bringing us all here together today. I'd like to thank the Charleston County leaders that work to make Jim's vision a reality by sponsoring the Coast Guard community application. Now we have a number of young people with us here today. Cadets, we have Pistodale Cadets, we've got a number of young people from our junior ROTC program and as I see them I know the future is bright. The talent that we have in this country who are coming forward with a propensity to serve to join and to step into service not just in the Coast Guard but any of our other military services law enforcement, other service communities. The future is absolutely bright and we see some of the best of that youth in the room with us here today. The Cadets from Lucy Beckham High School, Coast Guard Junior ROTC. You know it attracts students from across Charleston County so it wasn't too many years ago we didn't have any JROTC programs. Over the last several years we've been adding and expanding our JROTC program nationwide. It provides opportunity for youth and young people who have a propensity to serve to to join and understand what service means. What it means to commit yourself to the nation and we hope to inspire that service whether it's in Coast Guard uniform, Iranian and other uniform as these young members continue in their Junior ROTC Junior journey. Cadets here represent the future of the Coast Guard and the future of our service here in Charleston. I said this morning I'll say it again. We are committed to Charleston. We've been here a long time and we are going to be here into the future. The opportunity for the Coast Guard for the ships, the units, all that we have planned over at the site where we did the groundbreaking this morning is nothing but opportunity not just for the Coast Guard but for the community. At the groundbreaking today and with the construction and expansion of the base it marks a new trajectory for the Coast Guard in South Carolina. The community will be home to new major cutters, logistic staff to maintain them, and services to support our Coast Guard families. The plans for the footprint over there are incredible and I look forward now that we've begun the construction to see how it comes to life. It's critically important that we commit to this work as we invest in the new cutters, boats and aircraft. It's our people who are our most valuable resource. Those ships don't operate at sea 365 days a year. They need time, import, for maintenance, for reset, and our families need time for that same reset and opportunity to spend time with their families to ensure that their family members have access to schools, medical care, child care, all the support that any of us need for our families and Charleston absolutely rises to that support for us. As much as I can do from Washington to achieve the goals of family support in our frontline operation support, it really is the local communities that make a difference. They make a difference day in, day out in the little things that our families value so much and I thank Charleston and surrounding communities for that. I'm grateful to the community support of the Coast Guard. I offer you my heartfelt thanks for all that you have done and I know we'll continue to do to support our families as we continue to invest here in Charleston. I am really proud and privileged to be here today as we designate Charleston as a Coast Guard community and I am here to celebrate with you. Thank you. Semper proud of us. I will present Charleston County Chair Mr. Herbert Rabinau Sass with the proclamation officially designating Greater Charleston as a Coast Guard community. Chairman Sass will be accepting on behalf of all counties that make up Greater Charleston. Proclamation of the United States Coast Guard, whereas the people of the community of Greater Charleston, South Carolina have a rich history supporting the United States Coast Guard for over 230 years serving as a port of operations for maritime enforcement authorities and whereas the United States Coast Guard's presence in the community has grown and involved with the cultivation of a mutually supportive and beneficial relationship between local Coast Guard units and the community of Charleston and whereas the city of Charleston partnered with the foundation for Coast Guard history and the Coast Guard Combat Veterans Association to place a memorial plaque honoring the long shared history of the city of Charleston and the United States Coast Guard at Joe Rowley Waterfront Park overlooking Charleston heart and whereas Lucy Beckham High School and Mount Pleasant host one of the nation's few Coast Guard junior ROTC programs the Charleston County School District enthusiastically supports this new program and enrollment is expected to reach nearly 80 students of all socioeconomic backgrounds throughout the region in the next year and whereas the Palmetto Military Support Group donated more than $30,000 to area installations to help support squadron events, family picnics, morale and welfare events and other activities for Coast Guard service members and their family and whereas the Greater Charleston Council supports engagements between the naval sea cadets and operational Coast Guard units building awareness of the benefits of Coast Guard service and Greater Charleston City Council is also proud to host Sailor of the Year programs for local Coast Guard units supporting arms buzzmen who play critical roles in sharing information particularly for deployable units and whereas the friendliness and hospitality of the community of Charleston are reflected in the multitude of special events throughout the year and services including discounts from local businesses for Coast Guard members to honor their contributions to our nation. Now therefore, I, Admiral Linda L. Fagan, Commandant of the United States Coast Guard in accordance with public law 105383 enact enacted by the Congress of the United States and signed by the President on November 13, 1998. Do hereby take great pleasure in proclaiming that the community of Greater Charleston, South Carolina is officially designated as a Coast Guard community and witness whereof I have here on to set my hand this the 26th day of January the year of our lord 2024. Welcome to the stage Representative Mace. Welcome to the door this afternoon Admiral Fagan. I call this a power move. Some of you may not know this but Admiral Fagan is the first four star and head of any of our service branches in our history and then I walk in I see Barbara Melvin who's head of this of the State South Carolina State Ports Authority. I was the first woman to graduate from the Citadel. We had kind of a trifecta here this afternoon and that's really awesome to have that kind of history here today and it's a true honor regardless of the chaos in Mayhem of DC when we're all working together at the state and local level here in Charleston we do such an outstanding job whether you are a Republican or Democrat or an Independent no matter who you are or where you're serving we do a remarkable job and that is reflected in all of our leaders who are here today and have been here with the Coast Guard not just today but yesterday and last night working together and that's reflected that everybody's here. All of our mayors have been here all of our council members city and county working together and we ought to be really proud of that you're not don't be so proud of DC right now that's a disaster but at the local level and I'm trying not to curse I'm trying really hard not to curse right now but we they all worked really closely together and I want to say thank you to all of our leaders for what what you all are doing here and keeping Charleston's charm and keeping our industry and our defenses and our national security strong. Some of you may or may not know we have a rich maritime history here in Charleston South Carolina in 1790 Charleston became a cornerstone of maritime history Alexander Hamilton established the Revenue Cutter Service if you did not know and among the inaugural fleet was the South Carolina and found its home in our charming harbor. We have lots of maritime stories I love to tell the story of Robert Smalls who was a slave who commandeered a Union ship and I mean a confederate ship in the Charleston Harbor during the Civil War and gave it to Union soldiers and so we have such rich history whether it's women breaking glass ceilings African Americans and black and brown in our communities we have such a rich history in which they taught more of it in our schools and speaking of since we're going to be close to Black History Month in February some people may not know here in the first congressional district the first African American to ever serve in the U.S. House of Representatives was Joseph P. Rainey he was from Georgetown the time Georgetown was in our district and he was the first one and the last Black man to serve before Reconstruction was also from our area George P. Murray and so we just have so much history to be proud of and I'm really honored to be here today as Charleston is nationally recognized as an official U.S. Coast Guard community we proudly carry forward a legacy that began with the vision of our nation's founding fathers and more importantly Admiral Fagan I think I have toured multiple cutters and ships I've been out on the harbor with Coast Guard coasties with our servicemen and women in the Coast Guard and I have to tell you every single one with a hundred percent all tell me that Charleston is their favorite installation in duty station so we look forward to working with you and everyone in the Coast Guard to make sure it stays that way thank you and God bless thank you Representative Mace and now welcome to the chair to excuse me to the stage the chair of the Charleston County Council Mr. Robert Brown now has to give me great pleasure to be here today as everybody has mentioned earlier we do share a long-time history with the Coast Guard here in Charleston and it's especially important it's been a big part of our of our area and we can't be more than excited how it's going to grow actually and I have my niece is married to a coastie so I like that and I have other cousins that serve so I'm really happy about this I'm pleased to accept this designation on behalf of the governments businesses non-profits and other organizations and make up the greater Charleston and Tri-County community we eagerly supported the application for this designation both to recognize the exceptional relationship we've had with the Coast Guard and its members over many years but also as a way to recommit ourselves to continue to enhance this relationship as the Coast Guard grows its base of operations here in Charleston a 2022 assessment estimated to economic impact of the military including the Coast Guard in South Carolina as the Coast Guard is centered here in Charleston the Tri-County area is the primary beneficiary of more than 260 million dollars in annual impact we're also pleased to host other bases as well as Joint Base Charleston this makes a great partnership there are so many examples of this community supporting its Coast Guard we're proud that they helped Charleston be a favorite assignment for the many Coast Guard members past and present we humbly accept this designation let this just be the start of a mutually beneficial relationship between the Coast Guard and greater Charleston a relationship that we trust will grow in importance and value in the coming years thank you thank you mr Sass I would now like to invite mr Jim Offit from the Greater Charleston Navy League to the stage for some final recognition well you heard the story about how this got started with junior agency but it takes somebody to carry that to our job and so there is an individual who moved here to show up and became an action officer people who in the government know what actions officers are how they respond how their work is tireless almost 24-7 so if I just have more on McAnlister would you please come forward and review your life on behalf of the Navy League and all of us and all the people who have just talked about what a great community we have it doesn't help me to say personally it's been wonderful working with you let me also say never have I seen a flag officer become an action officer so great it was such a great job thank you very much I thank the many volunteers. Captain Carter mentioned the robust turnout from volunteers we had I think more than 60 volunteers and so I just want to thank everybody for for their extraordinary efforts to to create a memorable ceremony and celebrations today thank you Cycler will now offer final vindication. Thank you for the special day you called each of us to love our neighbors as ourselves thank you for inspiring this community to do just that for our coasties may you continue to bless this mutually beneficial friendship for many years to come to the god of love joy and peace Amen thank you chad ladies and gentlemen would you please stand as the band plays the Coast Guard song Cypher Parades followed by the departure of the official party now United States Coast Guard departing now U.S. Representative for South Carolina's First Congressional District Department now Commander Coast Guard District 7 Department now Chair Charleston County Council Department ladies and gentlemen this concludes the ceremony thank you again for joining us here today guests are welcome to join us for reception in the area to my right your left the Coast Guard cutter stone will be hosting tours during the reception please take the opportunity to see one of the Coast Guard's newest most capable cutters please see one of our tour guides in the back offer a tour during the reception you may also notice that some local Coast Guard units stationed here in Charleston have set up displays around the reception area and we'll have representatives talking about the many missions that the Coast Guard conducts here in Charleston and missions conducted around the globe please take the opportunity to say hello as we better learn something new about our United States Coast Guard thank you again for your time and for showing support for our Coast Guard and our great big Charleston community set across