I'm lying, okay. I need to make an adjustment on this side of my group so that y'all can come join me. So just a second, let me just make this little comment and say I'm lying. YouTube channel. Hey, I'm late again. Oh, drop a phone. So basic women. We're gonna talk about basic women, y'all. Um, I'm kinda lean as I'm a lean, let the phone lean with me, y'all. So basic women. Someone asked for this topic. I didn't come up with this topic. Y'all want me to talk about it? Let's talk about it. The definition of a basic woman. Well, there are many definitions for basic women. It's just women who are not, don't have too many standards, don't think they have to do certain things to have certain things. And it's just, you know, someone who is not able to understand how the world really works.  They look like every other chick. They follow, you know, what society thinks versus what they think or what's best for them. They kinda go with the flow.  It's just someone that's filling a spot for the moment, especially when it comes to, you know, when men choose them. So, I mean, how to avoid being a basic person, have some personality, have something to talk about, have something you're passionate about, have a certain style about yourself and don't just follow everyone's trend. Be able to speak intelligently about something, be able to impress anyone that you come in contact with, be it a surgeon or a garbage man, okay?   You're able to move in all forms and fashion of life, all types of people. You're able to impress all types of people, not just one type. You're able to look polished and presentable and professional as well as sexy and cute. You know, you're able to do all those things, okay? You don't just stick in one genre and say, this is all I can do, this is the best I can do, except me for who I am or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.  You can't become prosperous if you still have poverty in mind.    Um, sorry.  I don't accept anything unless it's on my list of things that I'm manifesting or something that I want. You offer me something and I don't like it. I might take it and give it to someone else. I might say thank you, but I'm not really going to, you know, be happy to have something that I'm not even, you know, interested in.  If you just give the basic answer, oh, I just want friends. I don't know. I just need somebody to hang out with a friend. You just basically told him, friends with benefits, blah, blah, blah, blah. If you are afraid to scare somebody off by telling them what you really want, then you shouldn't be with them anyway, you know? When a guy approaches you and say, well, what are you looking for? I say, oh, I'm looking for a long-term relationship that possibly leads to marriage. You know, I'm looking for a stable person that has a career, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, so if they don't fit any of that, you're not wasting time. They're not wasting time.   So you have to think, you have to think above being basic, okay? I have a lot of women come to me and they say, oh, I started off as friends with benefits. Now I fell in love and now I want him, but he don't want me. Well, duh, you're not supposed to start off doing something that you know you can't continue. Women catch feelings. Women can't just have friends with benefits unless they are, you know, strictly doing it for that reason and they know it and they probably possibly already have someone else who they do have feelings for. You know what I mean? So a lot of these women also, they believe lies. They believe men, they believe what people tell them versus getting proof, you know, they believe in the potential of someone versus believing in what they can see and touch. And these are the other types of women that get tricked and oh, I thought he had his own business. Oh, he said he had a mixtape. Oh, he was a rapper.  But he told you, he know how to do every job under the sun and have met this person and that person.    Let me see your, let me see your mail with your name on it. You know, let me see. You don't listen to people's words.  Let them prove themselves to you.  But I would have to prove it in order for someone to take me seriously. A lot of you women start taking men seriously just from their pillow talk and the sweet talk that they give y'all. Oh, but he said, but he said he loved me. Well, I can say I love you too, but that's to make it true. So, you know, I don't believe words. I believe actions. And if you don't wanna be a basic woman, stop believing words and start believing actions and proof and evidence, you know? Stop falling in love with potential, okay? Anybody has potential. Everybody has potential. I said this on my last video. A bum on the street has potential. You gonna fall in love with him too? You know? So, remember, if you act basic, think basic, look basic, you're gonna get a basic man. You gotta do something above and beyond. You know, you can't just sit there and wait for somebody to approach you and think that you're special and all that. You gotta make yourself special. You gotta make yourself do all that. It is hard work, it is, you know? And that's why I say a lot of people think this is the easy thing to do, but it's not. It's not easy. To be always, you know, sharp, prepared, put together, polished, able to hold conversation, things like that, it takes a lot of effort, you know, especially when you have kids and things to do and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You gotta also be able to do this and that. You can't just focus on one area and forget about another area because I have a lot of ladies telling me, oh, I have kids, I don't have time to put on makeup, I don't have time to do this, I don't have time to do that, but I want this type of man, I want that type of man. Well, this type of man that you want requires you to maybe wake up a little bit early and put some makeup on, okay? This type of man might wanna show you off.  So you have to put in that effort if you want a higher caliber of man, okay? And I don't wanna be rude and sound mean and like I'm against certain women, but there are certain women who, you know, ask questions, but they don't like the answers. So if you don't want the answers, don't ask the questions, okay? If my answer is, okay, well, maybe you need to do a little bit more with your appearance and you don't like that answer, well, don't ask the question, you know, what do I need to do? Because I'm not getting the type of response that I want. Well, you might need to do this, you know? I don't look like this when I wake up in the morning.  So if I can take the time to put on some makeup and fix my hair and, you know, learn how to do this, this, and that, take care of my skin and stuff like that, other people can too, you know? I don't think my husband would have actually approached me if I hadn't had makeup on or my hair combed or looking polished and put together. He would have bypassed me right on by. So sometimes it is important. It is important to take that extra hour or wake up an extra hour earlier, 30 minutes early to get ready, you know? It is important. So a lot of you ladies don't think that it's important. You might have already been bypassed by someone who might've liked you if you were just fixed up, you know? So appearance is very important, especially in the shallow world that we live in, it's very important. If, you know, if things were not based on appearances, we would live in a totally different type of society. So we already know that, but let's just face the facts, you know?  They like to tell stories. They like to see what they can get with the least amount of work. And we already know that.  You know, if he's not working for you anymore, if he's comfortable and he's not working for you anymore, trying to do things, you're letting him slide. He's gonna get complacent and he's gonna start doing less and less.  Oh, can you go to the store and get this, this, and that?   Just keep him doing things for you. Because the moment he stops, he's gonna say, oh, okay. Well, she doesn't require much of me anymore.  Gotta keep them engaged in doing things for you no matter what it is. Like, make something up if there's nothing, you know? Spill something on the floor. Oh, I dropped this, can you help me? You know, can you help me change this battery?  Most women, oh, I can do that. I know how to fix everything in my house, but I'm gonna let him try to do it first, you know what I'm saying? So, he can feel like he's useful and he's used to doing things for you. So, the next time you ask him to do something, it's automatic. It's not like you gotta pull teeth. It's automatic. You always have to ask.  I don't care what it is. Ask him. That's how you do it. Okay. A lot of women will ask, well, how do you get your man to start doing nice things for you and take you places and stuff like that? Well, if you don't start the relationship out like that, it's gonna be very hard to get somebody to switch after you already set the standard that you don't require much. So, you start the relationship off requiring things. But if it's too late, then you just start going by yourself and then see if he wants to come. A lot of times, if he doesn't have the money or he doesn't wanna pay, he's not gonna go, okay? So, you take yourself there and you might be in the company of someone who can actually afford to buy you drinks. So, hey, if he wants to start joining you, then he'll get his money up. But I feel like you can't put that, you can't spring that on someone when you've had low standards, the whole relationship and all of a sudden you want him to do better. Well, it doesn't work like that, you know? You already settled for that. So, you're gonna have to replace him or start going without him and make him level up because he wants to catch up with you. Anyway, I feel like, okay, I don't know where y'all live. I don't know what side of town y'all live. I don't know what type of men y'all are looking for, but usually men that have money, that can take care of you, so you don't have to work, want someone polished that they can take out, that they can show off, that they can say, this is mine and be proud of, okay? Glamorous versus polished is very different, okay?  If you're not done up enough, you look like a housemaid. In between is where you wanna be. Pretty, they can take you anywhere. They can take you to meet their colleague, their boss, their friends, their family without being embarrassed. Or they can take you somewhere and you're not gonna be the dullest thing in the room. So, make sure you look good, okay? I know a lot of women think, I don't need makeup, I don't need makeup, but no one needs makeup, let's just say that. No one needs it, but it enhances you and it raises the caliber of men who approach you, okay? So, just keep that in mind, okay? Keep that in mind. It will raise the caliber of men who will approach you, especially if you are not... doing anything at the moment, you know? So, just keep that in mind. You don't need the makeup. Men will approach anything walking with boobs, okay? You don't need makeup, but if you want to increase the caliber of men, then yes, you need to do something.  You'll notice a huge difference in how you're treated. Like, I get treated totally different when I wear makeup than when I don't wear makeup. Like, I know that and I understand that and that's why I wear it, you know? I went to get my nails done the other day, my nails. And the guy that does my nails, y'all, the guy that does my nails, he says, you look different. I'm like, I'm not wearing any makeup. He's like, oh, that's it. That's like... But I was going swimming right after, so that's why I didn't have all any makeup. But they notice and, you know, before he was giving me, offering me all these free services, he put free stuff and, oh, we give you discount. This, this, and that. So I know it makes a difference, you know what I mean? I know it makes a difference. I get free stuff all the time. Discounts and stuff like that. Extra service that's not written in whatever service I'm getting, you know, better seating at restaurants. It's just, it matters, you know?   So if you have to present yourself how you wanna be treated as well, you gotta present yourself how you want to be treated as well. So if you come up there looking high maintenance and polished, they're not gonna treat you any kind of way. They're gonna, okay, well, she looks good. She has the time to do this, this and that. She must have some money to spend. I know she might tip me extra. Or, ooh, I like the way she looks. Let me do extra for her. If you wanna be treated better, you have to look the part and men will do the same thing to you. When they see you walking by, they're gonna smile at you. They're gonna make eye contact.  They're gonna go, oh, God, what is that?  So I'm just being honest. Like I said, I will credit makeup for me being married because I know if I was looking crazy, my husband would have never approached me. He would be like, by pass. And I might bypass myself. I'm like, okay, she looks like she has a hard life.   I'm not gonna approach her. She looks like she has nothing but problems. So invest in yourself, invest in your looks. You know, that's the same reason men buy nice cars, you know, because they know a woman is gonna bypass them if they're driving something bad or if they're not driving at all. So the first thing a man does when he gets money is go buy a nice car and some nice shoes. And to impress women. Well, women need to be doing the same thing. We need to make ourselves look good. And stuff like that. If we want to do any better with the type of man we attract. Yes. Anyway, so. And be smart. Do your research, background, check some guys, you know? You can learn a lot off of, you know, background checks. You can know if they're married, how much money they really have, if they're lying to you, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you can kind of stop wasting a lot of time with a lot of these guys because like, and I also like, before you get into a relationship with someone, they have to be invested in you.   No, they need to invest in you, okay?  It's really pretty. You like it. You want to drive it, okay? They're not gonna let you take that car unless you can afford it. They're not gonna say, okay, well, hey, you look like you'll make money in the future.  You know, you can tell them, oh, I'm a lawyer, but they're gonna ask you for proof of employment. They're, the car dealer will ask you for proof, but you're gonna let a man sleep with you and don't even know if he has enough money to pay for a Uber home because you did not check him, okay?   Listen to me.    A smart person is hard to scam. A smart person is very hard to scam because they do their research. They get on Google, they look for evidence, they ask for proof. If you are too scared to ask some dude for proof because you are afraid to lose them, you don't love yourself anyway. You don't love yourself and you're basic.  So, oh, I have something cooking, I have to go. Is it ready? Did you check it? What is that? Is it, has it been 30 minutes? It has? Okay, I gotta go take something out of the oven. But I'll take anything. Oh, okay. Come on, Layla. Let's go. My baby. I'm trying to cook and do videos at the same time, y'all. Y'all need to clean up that room. Use the multitasker. I'm the multitasker. Anti-hood. Clean up, Sasha. They got Barbies everywhere. Okay. Are you sure it's been 30 minutes? All right. Y'all, I'm trying to cook and make videos, y'all. It smells good. Let me check this food, y'all. I don't think it's done, Layla. I'm checking, I'm checking. 20 more minutes. Come back and get me in 20 minutes. Bye, y'all. All right. I need to teach her how to cook, cause I'll have to do it. Sasha, what are you doing? You're dancing? All right. Bye-bye. Okay, so I had to check on some food. It wasn't ready. I'm not gonna, like, when my daughter starts dating, I'm gonna check background of all her friends and all that kind of stuff, cause I don't want her hanging out with people that get in trouble, that got warrants. You know, gotta do that background check, because think about this. If you're riding with some guy and he has a bunch of warrants out for his arrest, and y'all are drinking, y'all are going out, y'all are partying, he just stops by the police. Your kids, if you have kids, are at somebody's house or being babysat. He don't got insurance on his car, so if the car is gonna get towed, you don't have no money to get home. You know, what are you gonna do? Don't ride with potential, ride with things that you can back up and proof and evidence. I'll give you a good example.  Right, sound good, he had the lingo to go with it. Very convincing, but as a woman, I don't trust people. So I Googled him, he had like two DWIs. One more, he's going to prison, okay? Come to find out he's an alcoholic, an AA, can't, like, and all that kind of crazy stuff. I was like, well, where's your car? Oh, I don't like to drink and drive, so let's take Uber, or a cab. Back then they had cabs, they had an Uber back then. We had cabs, so I thought it was weird. Grown man with a software company talked about how he had a BMW, how he had a car, how he had a house, how he pays for this and pays for that, but he doesn't dress nice, he didn't have a car, but a very convincing story and a nice Facebook page for his company. So I just get on Google and type in his name and I find out the truth in two seconds and guess what? Hey, you don't have to tell me the truth, I'm smart enough to find the truth myself, okay?  So remember, if you don't trust your last boyfriend, why would you trust that new potential boyfriend? You need to check all of that out. Okay, so let's move on to the subject. Okay, so there was another subject that someone wanted me to cover and let me see what it was. Smart things to do with your money when you're stashing. Saving some money market account. If you don't like investing and risky things, just do the money market account in your bank, at least you'll be drawing interest. Save or start some type of business that can earn you money quick, maybe an online business, buy an online business that might be already up and going and just take it over and just start getting the profit out of it. Things like that, I suggest buying CDs, maybe investing in nice jewelry that will only increase in value. Don't buy trashy stuff that's not gonna increase in value. Save that money. Okay, let me see what else y'all want me to do. So I asked y'all for topics. Okay. More. I'm trying to look on here. Okay. Dumb. Wow, okay, hold on. I've already answered that one. Okay. How to get you to, no. These are basic questions. Some of y'all are asking basic questions. Hey, okay. Okay, someone asked me to talk about dating for women over 30 and 40. You should have even more standards and you should stick to those standards and you should not be making excuses for men at that age. By that age, you should know exactly what you want. You should know when a man is scamming you and when he's not and you should also be dating someone who is going to benefit you and a little bit older than you, okay? Because by that age, you should already know. If you don't know about that age, you might never know.  If a man over 30 or 40 can't do that for you, then move on, you know? Dress classy, not trash. You don't try to dress like you're still 25 years old if you're 40, okay? A lot of y'all be trying to have all these trendy things and it just doesn't work for your age, okay? It ages you even more.  So more classic style, okay? Sometimes, you know, we get in the habit or we get in a certain look that we've been doing forever and it just doesn't work for you anymore once you pass a certain age, okay? Like certain colors or makeup looks don't look good anymore on aged people. You gotta calm down, like, or try a different look that's more age-appropriate.   They're gonna treat you like a woman. They're not gonna treat you like a little girl.   I'm a grown woman.  Your pillow talk doesn't impress me anymore. Show me something, okay?  So you need to not try to act like you're 20-something and that you're all about this fun anymore because they can go and get that, okay? They can go and get that with a 20-year-old.   You know what I mean? So a lot of women think younger women are your competition, but they're really not. If a man approaches an older woman, he's already dated the little girls, okay? Especially if it's an older man. He's already dated the younger women and obviously does not look like he's with a person that actually wants to be with him for him because of the huge age difference, you know what I mean? So you have like a 50, 60-year-old man. They're not gonna be comfortable seeing out with a 20-year-old woman all the time. That's for fun. Once he gets through that midlife crisis, now he wants someone who he could take to dinner and have conversation with and possibly enter into a long-term relationship and marry. You know what I'm saying? The sugar daddies are for the 20-something-year-olds and the sugar daddies who just wanna have fun. The ones who probably just got divorced and just wanna be free. The ones who don't wanna remarry at all. The ones who just wanna be free. But there are some older guys that wanna remarry and they will go for someone not their age, possibly a little bit younger, but not someone so young that they don't understand things. You know what I mean? So remember that when you're dating, don't feel like you have to compete with younger women. Be who you are. That's all you can do. Okay, what's the next fear about being alone? If you fear being alone and you can't even be by yourself, why should anybody else want to be with you? You know what I'm saying? If you can't even be by yourself, no one else is gonna wanna be with you. Learn how to be by yourself first and foremost. Because if you can't stand being with you, no one else will be able to either, okay? If you're scared to be alone, that means anybody can do anything to you because they know you're scared to be alone and they'll use it against you, okay?  So get used to it. Okay, what can I do about, okay, I already read that one. And it doesn't matter, when I was 20, I was dating an older man. I was there too, but when you get older, you gotta act your age and not try to act like you used to be, you know? I'm dating a very rich guy. How do I secure a monthly allowance? That's quite easy. You just tell him straight up, look, I need this much money every month and look at him and just pause. If he says, okay, say, well, are you gonna be able to handle that? Rub on his leg, you gonna be able to handle that? Get the money. Oh, no, that's not a problem. Okay, yeah, okay, well, you know, great.   Get the money first, get the allowance first. Don't wait until after you sleep with someone to ask them for money. They've already got what they want, okay? How do you look younger? People say I look 40, but I'm 33. Makeup, makeup makes you look younger or the type of makeup that you put on, and you put on the wrong type of makeup, it will age you. If your hair is not in the right style, it will age you. Like what kind of hairstyle are you wearing? What type of makeup do you wear?  Yeah, so I think it could be a combination or it could be one or the other, but usually the three things that age you the most is hairstyle, how you do your makeup or lack thereof makeup or weight. Those are the things that age you. Most of the time, the giveaways are the dark circles and the premature wrinkles or it could just be weight. People who are heavier look older and people who are lighter look younger. Some people it doesn't even affect the weight, but if you're most of the time, like if you're a very overweight, a lot of the clothes that they sell are clothes that look like they're for older people, so they might just assume you're old if you're wearing old people clothes, you know what I'm saying? So I don't know what you could do because I can't see your picture, but it's usually one of those three things. Okay, someone asked me how old I am. I am 38, almost 39, so that's old I am. The camera's on the long side today, so I'm having trouble.   You have to maintain your standards at all costs.  You gotta be like, uh-uh, oh no, no. And walk out and don't be afraid to lose it. When you're not afraid to lose a man and you can walk off and they know that you can go do better, that's when you get what you want, okay? That's when you get what you want. If you're with a man that you're afraid to lose and they know you're afraid to lose them and they know you can't do any better than them or it will take a long time or a lot of effort, they're gonna treat you like trash. That's what I'm saying. When you get with someone, make sure that you can replace them instantly. Make sure that they know that they're lucky to be with you. A lot of these women will go for looks. Oh, you look good. Oh, I can't go without him. They'll be draining her pockets and cheating on her at the same time, okay? A lot of y'all are in my group and y'all have seen me post the Pastor Pimp dude that's always in my inbox. Well, Pastor Pimp is married and he is the type of person that will cheat in a heartbeat. And that's why I don't really take him seriously and it's hilarious because I know him 17 years ago and he's still in my inbox. So I just never felt for the Okie Doke. But his wife did. His poor wife, she has no clue. She has no idea and I'm not the only one he's in the inbox of. But I'm pretty sure he married her for her money, for her money, okay? And I feel like she's being drained and used and he was doing the same thing when I first met him. He chooses a woman with low self-esteem, doesn't look very desirable to most people, very educated, has some money saved up and he gets them to invest in him and his businesses and then he takes most of the profit and cheats on it. So remember ladies, there are men out there that will target you just because you don't look good and that you have low self-esteem. That's why I'm telling all these women, make yourself look the best you can look before you leave your house because men will target women on purpose because they know no other guy will do this and go after them this way and chase them this way. They're after you for something else, like they're after you for your credit. And like, where do y'all think I learned this stuff from? A man, I learned this from a man and I've watched both sides do this to people. I've watched my sister and I've watched Pastor Pimp.  Okay, I've watched him do this two times to other women all while cheating and whining and dining other people with that woman's money. That's why I'm telling y'all, don't fall for the oaky-doke, do your research. Make sure you know who you're dealing with. Watch it from both sides.  I'll ask him in a second, look. Hey, you're married, blah, blah, blah, blah.  But and then I say, you know what? That's nice. Well, I hope you have a really good life and good luck and blah, blah, blah, blah. But the fact is, there are men out there who will take advantage of women and use them up until they can't be used anymore and then move on. See what happened? Many times. We want you to interview him. Oh God, no. I can't interview him. When I say pastor pimp, I mean pastor pimp. I mean like scam, ruthless, dirty.  You know, it's funny. Like the only thing I admire about him is his dedication to the game. I can appreciate that, you know? He had goals in mind. He saw what needed to be done to accomplish those goals. Whether it be using people to get his way or not. He's just a male version of a gold digger. That's it. But he had business plans that went along with it.  He made a name for himself and created a business and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah out of it. But he used what those people had to build upon. So there are male versions of gold diggers and they're in the church. They go get that lonely sister. Maybe, you know, the trust fund sister. The one that's not so attractive but looking for a good, godly man. He's up on in there, okay? Women do it too, but it's easier for men to do it these days. Why? Because there's so many desperate, needy women. It is actually easier for a man to be a gold digger than it is for a woman. That's why when y'all guys come up in here and y'all say, oh, you don't do no work.   Okay? So I'm just letting y'all know. But the bad thing is, you know, y'all won't take those women out. Y'all won't show them off in public. Y'all won't take pictures with them. Y'all won't put them on Facebook, but y'all will sure take their checks.  And if you're one of those women being used and you know it and you just in denial, you know, I'll tell you how to know if you're being used or not. If you gotta make excuses for your man instead of bragging on them, you being used and you're in denial. If your mama don't like them, your sister don't like them, your cousin don't like them, you're in denial, okay? If everyone sees it but you, you're in denial. And you'll wake up one day and you'll say, you know what, he used me. And now this other girl is benefiting from it because while I'm at work, he's talking to her. So y'all ladies, if y'all are supporting a grown man, if y'all are acting basic, remember, nice girl's gonna laugh all the time. Don't do it, it's not worth it. There is no reason, there is no reason. How do I feel about matchmaking services? You can meet people any type of way. Meet them, if you like them, hey, you have something in common. I've met most of the people that I've really connected with in person first. Is it time? Again, did you look? Make sure they look brown.  I'll be back. I'll come down in two minutes. Try to teach her how to cook. So yeah, the sun's the glare, it's coming in, it's bright. Okay, so everybody that I've ever met that was worth anything, I met in person, okay?  You don't get to see what you look like in a filter or on Facebook or on Instagram first, you just, you walk into each other, just like, you just walk and it's the magnetic energy is there, the eye contact is there, hold on, the feeling is there, you can touch that person instantly, there's no lies, there's just there and it's like magic.  Before they can go look through all your pictures and stuff on Facebook and see what type of person you are and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're already engaged in conversation. You've already got their interest, you know. They don't ever have to see your Facebook page. Okay, now if you don't want them to, so that's another good thing.  For me, I still check up on my husband and I'm married. I will Google his name, see if anything new pop up because I want to know, I want to know. It's never too late to stop checking up on people, okay? How many tickets you done got, you know, this, this and that, you know. So keep it, keep asking questions and don't listen to people. Don't trust people for what they say. Look for evidence, you know. Don't be basic, okay? Don't walk out the house, you know, looking like you just woke up and expect the world to fall in your lap because that just don't happen unless you are the perfect version of beauty that doesn't need a touch of makeup, okay? Remember, you have to put effort into what you look like to get the response from, you know, around the world, in your environment that you want, you know. It just goes with it, you know. Just like if you saw a guy walking down the street and his hair wasn't cut right and everything was scruffy on him, you would think he was either A, trying to rob you, B, asking you for money or C, below your caliber of man that you would talk to because he didn't keep himself up. Mending the same way when they see somebody walking towards him, you know. When they see a woman looking all scraggly and looking like she got a hard life and this and that, he tried to direct his eye contact somewhere else so that he can't make eye contact with her because he don't want to be dealing with that type of person. But if she were to do something with herself and put on some makeup, her hair, you know, he'd be all looking at her like in her face like, are you doing it? You know what I'm saying? So think about it. Don't miss your chance. Come on, Laila. Gotta go check on this food. All right. I couldn't tell. I know you can't tell. That's it, if it's brown, it's done. I couldn't tell you what it was. What are y'all watching? I'm doing with weed. Okay, I think the fried, I think these are done. I don't know about the tops. Their dad started cooking and he told me I had to finish cooking. These aren't done, nowhere close to done. I'm just gonna raise the temperature. Nowhere close to cook, y'all. I'm gonna put it on 400. Come get me in 20 minutes. These are done. Y'all want a plate? Here, I'm gonna get y'all a plate. Anyway, 20 minutes left. All right, I'm going back up. So, yeah, if y'all wanna ask me some questions, go ahead. I think I done said everything that I was gonna say. But y'all have some questions. TV's on in there. Get back to my spot. Oh, that sun is still there, gone. When is the best time to get married? When you can afford to get married? For me, I got married at 26 years old. I had up my degrees already, had two degrees. My husband was already into his career, very financially stable, y'all. So if anything were to happen, we could afford it. We could afford to live anywhere we wanted. If I got pregnant, we could afford to have a child and all that kind of stuff. So whenever you can afford it, is when you get married. Don't marry to struggle, because then there's no reason to be married. I'm gonna move this. Don't marry for the wrong reason. Like don't marry because you love somebody. Marry someone because they can benefit your whole generation to come, okay? Love don't pay rent. Love don't send kids to college. Love does not ensure that your kids are gonna be going to the good schools and having the best education. Love doesn't ensure that you're gonna have food on your table every night, but money does. So marry for the right reason. And the right reason being stability and a man is defined by his genitalia, but a person who is a provider and protector is a good husband, okay? So if you want a husband, they need to be able to provide for you, okay? Because you are basically taking his last name, becoming his responsibility, and he needs to be able to provide for you.  Well, basically you just became his wife who is supposed to be faithful to him and honor him in exchange for those things he's supposed to protect you, okay? It's in the marriage valves.  Some of y'all are religious, you know? Even in the Bible it says the man's supposed to take care of the woman. So if you get married, don't look for an equal partner. Don't look for a roommate. Look for someone who's supposed to treat you as a wife. And as a wife, you are supposed to be provided for. If the man can't provide for you, then you don't need to marry him. You need to move on and find someone who can't afford to get married because marriage has become a thing of luxury these days. Like a lot of guys are saying, oh, never get married, it doesn't benefit the man. Well, all these rich billionaires and rich millionaires, they marry and marry again and marry again and marry again. They have like six wives because marriage is for wealthy people, okay? Marriage is now becoming a thing to build wealth. Okay, if you don't have wealth to begin with, as a man, then you shouldn't be getting married, period. And I saw this on another video that somebody put in the group.    You can't mark the married box. You can't get the government benefits for being married. You can't get the tax breaks or anything. You're, no matter how long you don't live with this fool, you can't get any of that, you know? So, you know, the piece of paper is very important.   I got this, you have no say. I know you've been living here for 20 years, but I want him to be cremated and I don't want him to be buried next to none of y'all. You know? So that piece of paper is very important and like he has all this money in the bank when he dies, unless he listed you as the beneficiary, the next of kin gets all his money, okay? And you have no access to it anymore. So, if y'all think marriage is, you know, this isn't that, remember ladies, it is very important. Now, for men, it's for men who have means. Men of means only benefit from marriage. Men who don't have a lot to offer, they don't benefit from marriage. So ladies, if you're trying to get some broke guy that doesn't have a career or a promising future to marry you in their standoffish, it's because it doesn't benefit them. You know? They're not in a place where they should be getting married because they can't even support themselves. So if you are trying to get somebody to marry you who can barely make it themselves, you're asking for trouble in that marriage. You're asking for higher divorce rate because they can't even afford to get married. You know what I'm saying? So keep your eyes on higher, higher caliber men if you're trying to get married.  You know, don't try to marry somebody because they got a good J-O-B and not a career. Get the person that has degrees and careers that can hop from one place to the other, can work on any part of the world and will keep growing. The salary will keep growing, you know, because they have a career. Based on that, marry someone with a career.   Don't marry somebody just because you've, I got a connection, okay? No, I got a connection too and it's called a connection to this bank account, okay? Why would I lay down with a man who my kids can't even be proud of that come out of me by him? Like that makes zero sense. Like, oh, I'm gonna have kids with this man. But sadly, my kids probably won't even be proud of him. Okay?   You can date that dude all you want, but don't have children with him and don't marry him. That's for fun, that's for pleasure. You don't marry those kind of guy, you don't get pregnant from those kind of guys. You do what you need to do and go find someone who can benefit you, okay? And that's just honest truth, okay? Just like you have those guys who won't marry certain women, won't, well, they might accidentally get them pregnant, but they will try not to get them pregnant. And then they'll go marry a totally different type of woman because they already know, this is not the type of woman I want to raise my kids. I can't be proud of her.  Women do the same thing for men, but women mess around and catch feelings. Oh, I love him, I could change him, I could make him a better person. And they get stuck with the same dude that they thought they could change and they could never change, okay? So don't be like that. Use them for what they're for and then dismiss them, just like the men do, okay? Don't catch feelings for someone who can't benefit you. Why?  Sit there and look at each other's eyes, sitting on a cardboard box in the park. Come on, no. Doesn't work that way, no romance without finance, yep. Now, there are women who will support these guys and who will push them to that next level, but they're only doing it for other women who they're going to leave them for.  We already know that. So unless you're happy in the moment with just being with some guy while they use you, that's fine. But if women stop doing this, men would actually get on their own feet and do their own thing without having a second mother. You know what I mean? And they would probably have higher goals and strive for a better existence, you know? If women stop giving them free sex, free food, free places to live, they would probably become more educated, become more driven, become more ambitious because they can't get dates, women or any type of relationship any other type of way, unless they're going to prostitute and paying for it.  You know, as soon as they go to work, they're on face, the men are on Facebook and other women's inboxes. As soon as you leave out that door to go work hard for your man, they're on Facebook, what you doing? Send me a picture.  I met my friend house, my cousin house.  Oh, that's my cousin. Yeah, I live with my cousin. But she don't like anybody I hang out with. She like my ex, she still want me to get back with my ex. So don't come around here, you know? Oh, then my nieces and nephews. This is not my kid, this is my nieces and nephews. Okay, so when you out working hard for your man, know that he's on Facebook, on Instagram, talking to everybody that will talk to him, okay?    Okay, someone says, please talk about wardrobe. What about wardrobe? Like someone was writing on my, in the group and they were like, no, well, no matter what I wear, I still get approached by a broke man. What am I doing wrong? Stop hanging out where broke man can get. You know, there are places where broke man cannot enter.  Go to these places. Don't hang around places where a broke man gather, you know, unless you wanna meet them.  The longer you hold out on someone that really likes you, the more you can get, okay? But make sure the man is not, make sure the man really, really wants you before you deny him, you know? This has to be the type of man that will do anything for you. You know, someone who does not look as good as you, someone who will be lucky to have you. And that's how you get your stuff, okay? Oh no, I don't, I don't do that before marriage or I have to be in a serious relationship and my definition of a serious relationship is someone who totally takes care of me and provides for me.  They're gonna work hard, try to get you to, you know, acknowledge them in that way. Well, you know, I've been really stressed out lately. I just think I need to get away and go on vacation.  You know, they got money.  Oh, I can't, you know, it's that time of the month. Oh no, what am I gonna do? Maybe when we get back, I'll make it up to you. When you get back home, oh, you know what? My mom needs me to come visit her because she broke her leg and I really need to go. I'm so sorry, you know. So that's the sugar daddy type relationship.  That's how you do that, you know. Dangle the carrot.  A lot of women ask me how to do that.  If you get a man that looks good and has many options, that's not gonna work with him. That's what I'm saying. You only do that with the type of man who you know it will work on. Don't, you can't do it with certain type of man. You have to go for the ones you know will give you what you want just in case you're not stringing them along. Just in case. There's still hope. They'll be like, she might give it to me for real. And the ones that really want it will go above and beyond. They'll be like, well, let's go to Tiffany's. Let's go to the jewelry store. Let's go to the car lot. They're in it to win it, okay? And you'll be like, okay. You know, you might do it for a car. You know, that's how my sister got her Porsche, okay? She was like, I'm in it to win it. So, I saw on Facebook like last year, this guy took his girl to the car lot and he had bought her some type of BMW or whatever. Said, hey, here's the keys, it's yours. And she was like, oh my God, oh my God. You know, it could tell she was a stripper or some type of gold digger. But he just gave it to her just like that. It was her birthday or something. And then in the trunk was a pair of a Louboutin shoes as well. So yeah, these men will do anything to get something that they can't get or they can't have, you know? Especially older guys.  They can buy anything when they can't buy something that they really want and the price keeps going higher and higher, they'll keep bidding higher and higher and they'll get it eventually. And if they don't get it, then they'll be like, oh man, I wonder what I did wrong, you know? But the next girl might give it to them. So, they just play, you know, they play to win and if they don't win, they just go find the next person. So, can I talk about Jesus and stuff? Okay. And stuff, what do you want me to talk about? Okay. Jesus and Mary Magdalene were a couple. There you go. Why does, even Jesus had a gold digger. Okay, let me see, can I get a moderator on this? Let me see. I'll try, hold on, let me see what I can do. I don't know if I can do it on this one. Okay, I don't know if I can do it on the phone. I did it last time, but let me see. I'll click on your name, that's my name. Okay. Okay, you're the moderator now. The one that said, click on my name, N.J. Princess. There you go. Give her the trolls, thank you. Thank you. Don't get rid of all of them, leave like one troll because I like trolling back. Okay, so what type of skills are rich men attracted to in women?  They're just there to have fun, to enjoy the lifestyle, to learn. They like women who like to learn, okay? To make them feel like men, like give them compliments and stuff like that. If you could have other talents like dancing and singing, I'm sure that they would like that. But anything that, that having a sense of humor, being funny, being able to understand what's going on in the world, not being a total dummy, stuff like that. Someone they can actually talk to without having to explain everything. You know what I'm saying? Somebody with half a brain. Don't be smarter than them though.  Pretend that you're not. My boyfriend isn't wealthy as my ex, but provide, should I say. Well, as long as you don't have to work and pay any bills and you can save your money, if you do work, then hey, why not? Until you can do better, until you can upgrade. I wouldn't leave a situation until I had an upgrade, I'm sorry. That's just smart. That's just being smart, just like you don't leave a job until you have a better job.  Okay, there you go. I feel like if you don't put the rules down first in a relationship, you're setting the tone for your relationship. So if you're single and you're thinking about getting to a relationship, set the rules down first before you even sleep together. Set the rules down. Look, I want you to do this and this and that for me. Just from the beginning. I'm not afraid to lose you.  And the other one will say yes. So this is what I'm gonna need. You don't get someone who can do better than you. You don't get someone who can replace you. You do the opposite. You get someone who can't replace you and who will do anything for you. That's how you get what you want. A lot of these girls out here are going for looks. If you're going for looks in a man, you might as well just go for any kind of man. If the man thinks that they look good and they can go out and get any type of woman, they're not gonna treat you as good or as special. If they feel like you can replace them quick, fast, and in a hurry have another man better than them the next day, they're gonna treat you great. So that's the kind of man you want.  You know what I'm saying? If you're jealous of your man, if your man, if you get jealous over your man, you're the wrong man. Okay? If you can find it in yourself to be jealous, you're with the wrong man. They need to be jealous of you. Every time you go to the grocery store, every time you step out of the house, they need to be wondering where you're going.  Or hey, you know, what do you want to do next weekend? Blah, blah, blah, blah, you want that type of man. You don't want type of man you gotta worry about cheating and replacing you and him doing this and that. That's just a waste of time. You're wasting your youth and your energy.  Okay? That's what you got to do. A lot of women were like, I just can't do that. I just can't do that. Well, you just don't want the lifestyle.  But, you know, if you just average whatever, you're gonna have to get the type of man who will worship you basically, you know. So don't fall for a cute face. Don't fall for some sweet talk, you know. Get what works, you know. I'm not the most attractive woman in the world, but I can get my husband do what I need him to do.  I went for the guy that treated me the best. That's what I did, why? Because that's what I want to be treated the best. I didn't go for somebody that I had to treat the best or that I had to cater to and had to worry about and had to have butterflies when they walking over. I got the person that felt like that about me. And that is why I have what I have because that is how that person feels about me. Now, have I felt that way about someone? Yeah, many times when I was young, but that person was not gonna do anything for me. I wasn't gonna benefit from them at all. So, you know, I've had that feeling, it was nice, it was fun, got it out the way, you know. Now I have everything I want, you know. My kids have everything they want. So it worked out to where the future that I saw for myself, I'm actually living better than I thought that I would be living at this age, you know what I mean?   And that's why a lot of people have different lifestyles because they choose, one person might choose with their heart, one person might choose with their loins, their lower self, and one another person might choose with their brain. And you will be able to tell the people who chose with their brain versus the person that chose with their heart or their lower extremities. You can look at a couple and say, I know why he's with her, you know. You can look at the next door neighbors, I know why they got married. You know, I know why she has that husband.  Your children will thank you, I promise.  I have computers, iPads, phones, the best school, nice clothes. I can go to college, I don't have to grow up in the crime rate in the area. I have a nice neighborhood. I have friends, you know, I have the best education. Thank you, mother, for using your brain and choosing a man that can make us all proud, you know. Instead of, where is my daddy at? How come he don't live with us? And, you know, how come I only saw him one time?  And how come you say he's bad? You know, because you chose with your heart. Mom, and how come I can't go on the school field trip?  How come I have to get free lunch? How come we live in this bad apartment complex?   It's very important, very important.  I've had all those fun times in my past. You don't marry those type of guys, okay? You marry the kind that can benefit you in every way. So, if y'all are young, listen to me. Don't get pregnant by those men who are for fun.  You use double birth control. Double, triple. The broker they are, the more birth control you need because they're the most fertile, okay? The broker, the man, the more fertile. Extra birth control on the brokeness, okay? Now, there are some women who get pregnant by rich men on purpose, like Black China, and they just keep moving. If that's your goal, if you're gonna get pregnant and not get married, go for a rich man and get pregnant, okay?  Don't get pregnant by somebody who paycheck costs less than my earrings, you know? Go for someone who could actually do something for you, that's what most women do that are smart, you know? Like, everybody suckles, Black China is this, Black China is that. She has two children by two celebrities.  So, if you're gonna have somebody's baby, have somebody's baby that can do something for you. Okay, so someone asked me to talk about wardrobe.  So why should anybody else? If you wanna attract someone who has their life together, you have to dress for the part you want. You gotta dress like someone's wife. You gotta dress like someone's trophy piece. You can't dress like this person that they're embarrassed to be seen with or this person with a thousand colors and this, this and that.  For example, I have a personal style but it doesn't fit the lifestyle that I live and I have to change it up, you know what I'm saying? I could not express myself like I used to. I can still a little bit in different ways with different pieces, with different colors, textures, jewelry but I can't dress like I did in high school or in my early 20s, you know what I'm saying? I had to step up, when you get with a man who has something going on for himself, you can't be dressing like this over here anymore. You gotta step it up. You gotta class it up, okay? So if you're looking for a classy man, you gotta dress classy, okay? You can't expect him to bend to your style, okay? That's after you get married.  But if you're on the way and plus, you know, when you get married and you start living in different areas and things like that, you're not gonna want to express yourself in those ways anymore because it's gonna embarrass your children at school and it's gonna do this and it's gonna do that. So you're gonna have to comply to a more classy way of looking, you know?  You know what I mean?  Some women will walk around looking like, you know, Wednesday Adams or Gough and they want a rich professional man. Okay, some women will walk around looking like Shanae from Martin and they think they're gonna get a rich man, okay? Some men will fetishize them, like, oh, I want, you know, a hood rat looking chick, you know, for a couple of months and then I'm gonna dump her because I just wanna experience what it's like to be with that. If that's how you're presenting yourself, that's how you're gonna get treated. But if you're coming correct, you're looking classy, oh, I can take this woman from, you know, from here to here.  You know, she just looks like a nice lady. So let me take her out, you know. And if you're dressing all kind of crazy and doing this stuff and you're trying to track this type of man, you're going about it wrong, you know, you need to tone it down. Like if you are the Mother Earth type, maybe you'll find a nice outfit and pair it with a really cute tribal scarf or something like that or, you know, a nice pattern on your shirt.  So, you gotta tone it down if this is the type of lifestyle you want, you know.  But keep your eye on the pride.  A lot of women will get men and a lot of men will invest in women. Oh, I wanna help you with your career. I wanna help you with your school. What type of business do you want? Let me help you start a business, you know. And then you can be free and be yourself. A lot of men just wanna help women. Like a lot of men with all this money, there are men with so much money they can't even spend it in their lifetime. They wanna help people. They're like, what do you want? Let me buy you something, you know. What kind of purse do you want? Let me start your business. Let me pay for you to get your MBA. Let me do this, let me do that. There are men out there who will target women and try to pay for their school. You know what I'm saying? Let me do this for you. So, if you're trying to do those type of things, you need to dress accordingly, act accordingly, get the prize and then be out. If you're trying to marry into that lifestyle, you're gonna have to find your edge in other places. You know what I mean?  So, remember, it's not all about you. It's about the prize. The prize is getting the lifestyle that you want and that you deserve.  Remember that. Ask anybody who's been married for a few years. That love and romance stuff runs out quick and then it's all about who got these bills, right? Who got these bills? Like, every month I go into my little book, get my husband's credit card, bank account number, go under the computer and pay every bill. Why? Because that's his job. Okay? I pay the bills, but he pays for them. I go online and pay him with his credit card or his debit card or whatever, his bank card. Wherever, you know, yeah, the bank card. So, I make sure it's paid on time and everything, but he does front the money. So, if you can't do that, if you can't benefit from being married to someone, then why are you married? You know, you can be single and struggle. If your children can't benefit from your choice of man, you need to rethink it, okay? So, the title of this was basic women, okay? Basic women don't think and don't choose wisely when it comes to men. You know, they'll accept anything. They don't have standards. They're afraid to tell the man what they really want and fear of losing them. They look the same. They don't do anything extra to, you know, attract a higher caliber of men. So, you want to be above basic. You want to take yourself out of that basic mode and put yourself up here, you know? I wrote a post the other day and I said, when you leave your house, broke men should be afraid to approach you. Like, they won't even think about it. That means you need to look good, smell good, act right, talk right. They should be afraid to even approach you. If you're walking out your house any other type of way, then you're attracting it, okay? You dress for the job you want. You dress for the type of man you want. So, do that. I promise you, your life will change. Okay, I'm checking my messages real quick. So, remember, men too, same for men. Men, don't leave your house looking crazy. Dress for the job you want. Dress for the career you want. Hang out in places where you can network, where people can give you leads or network with you to help you get better jobs and careers and things like that. Men can network too.  Look, hey, guy, I know you're very successful. I see your cars, I see your women.  Tell me how to do it. Oh, well, first you need to do this. And listen, don't be out there hating on that man because he got what you want because he did this and that to get it.   Find out what he did to get to where he is, you know?  You shouldn't hate on people when you can bypass them or reach their level. The only way you know that, you know, you can't reach that level is when you start hating on somebody. You're like, oh my God, I will never be him. Let me hate on him. So a smart man will go up to that man and shake his hand. I really admire you.  I like how classy you are. What do you do for a living?  Just like in that movie Will Smith movie, Will's name. The pursuit of happiness. He saw that stockbroker dude. He's like, what do you do? I mean, he was homeless on the street with his son. And he said, instead of hating on the guy and robbing him, he's like, what do you do? I wanna be with you. I wanna do what you do, you know? Smart men will do that.  Oh, you see what he's doing? Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're gonna be like, they're hating on him because they can't be him. And secretly they wanna be him, but they can never be him. So they deflect and they distract. And they say, oh, that woman that, you know, that woman that you're doing all that stuff with, you're not benefiting from her, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're gonna make up every excuse as to why they can never be what that person is.  But he's a simp. Okay, but at least my kids are proud of their father. And at least his wife, me, is proud of him. You know what I'm saying? I don't think there's too many people that can say the same thing about those trolls. And nobody proud of them, not even a mama, okay? So what I'm saying is, men, I know y'all are watching. Instead of hating on a man, go figure out how to be that man or be like that man. I can't tell, women can't tell a woman how to be a man. She can just point them in the right direction of a man. And look, there's a good example, go ask him. You know what I'm saying? I can't tell y'all to be a man, but hey, look, that do can. Go ask him. You don't believe me? Go ask him. So, all I can say is be smart. Use your brain, don't use your heart, don't use your emotion, don't use your feeling, don't use what somebody told you unless you have the evidence. Use your brain, it's very important. A lot of y'all women, I feel like a lot of y'all women that come to me and ask me these questions have a very low IQ, but y'all have degrees, but y'all can't see when a man don't like you, don't really want you using you and cheating on you and don't want you. You can't see that, but you have an MBA or a doctorate degree, but you can't see the truth. So, I feel like probably you're just in denial. You have everything except this man, so once you get this man and he proves out to be wrong, you don't wanna let it go and I understand. The faster you let it go, the faster you can go get the right man. The faster the right man will come to you once you let go of that man that's not right. You know what I mean? So, the longer you stay in it and denial, the longer you're gonna be waiting for something good to happen because it's not gonna work out. Anyway, you're just being played and it's not gonna work out, so I gotta go back down and check on this food. It smells, something smells like it's burning. Oh, that's just getting crispy. I smell that. It looks like it's ready. Yeah, it's ready, it's ready. Oh yeah. I'm gonna open it. I'm gonna go in my backyard. Here we go. So, yeah. Did you party in the house? You just run, you don't wanna see him? Go Rik!  Okay, so I'm gonna make him my home now. The food is done and they just wanted chicken wings. My husband is notorious for just cooking chicken wings. He just stuck chicken wings in there and say, watch him. All right, I'm gonna go back upstairs. Oh, someone says that's funny. They lived in Katie, Texas. Yeah. I grew up here in Katie and I moved back when I had kids and sank the suburbs. Right outside of Houston. Hi, Layla, what are you doing? You still, you still? Okay. She thought she was stealing my charger.  Where's Sasha? Okay, I'm back in here. So, okay, I'm gonna answer some more questions. What's up? Okay, questions? Uh-oh, y'all Pastor Pimp is back in my inbox. I'm on Facebook. Anyways, any questions? Most men aren't loyal. That's true. They're not. Like Pastor Pimp, he keep asking me out for lunch all the time. He's married, I'm married. But every couple of days, you wanna go to lunch? You wanna go to lunch? His wife younger than me. But he's in my inbox all the time. So, if you're 27 and still want kids, what age? Men can reproduce at any age. They're not like women, they don't expire. So, you know, you can like, I would say at least keep it under 60 or 65. But yeah, men can keep reproducing until they're old, super old. But women, a lot of people say you're not supposed to have kids after like 36 or 37. So, you got about 10 good years. People keep asking me, what do I think about dating in college? I wouldn't date a college guy. I would be dating the professors. Okay, college guys don't make no money. If I'm dating a college guy, it's just gonna be for fun. It's not gonna be for anything long-term. I'm not gonna wanna marry them. It's just gonna be for fun, you know, to get my kicks. I'm not gonna really date. I'm not gonna take them seriously. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, that's just me because I've seen so many people marry in college and they totally change afterwards. They become way different people and it never really, it doesn't work out for a long, long-term because you change. So, I don't recommend like trying to get into a serious relationship with anybody in college. I just recommend having fun. Just date for fun in college.   But I say go for someone who's already established. You know what I'm saying? Have fun in college. Date in college, have fun.  Have fun with those guys.  So, when it's time to find your husband, you've already had A, B, C, and D type of man and you already know what they're about and you're like, I'm not missing anything, okay? So, go and do that. That's what I would do. That's what I would do. If you have a ghetto name, should you change it to meet rich man? My sister had a very ghetto name. And she just started going by her middle name because she was like, no, like people would laugh at her and make fun of her and stuff like that. So, she just started going by her middle name which was like, you know, a normal name that was not very ghetto. So, it is, I don't know like, okay, I don't want to say anything about anybody's name because some people say I have a ghetto name, but you know, it is what it is. But I made sure that my kids did not have certain type of names because I wanted them to be given a fair chance, you know what I'm saying?  I'm just not gonna do it, okay? If they wanted that name, they can go change it to that name later, you know what I'm saying? If they want to be named Sharkisha, they can go down and change it to that. For me, I'm not going to do that today, okay? So, some people didn't have a choice because their parents named them that and that's perfectly understandable. My sister was upset because, you know, she would be made fun of because of her name. My name can kind of go either way, like my real name can go either way. It could be ghetto or it can be like normal. It just depends on what culture you live in. So, for me, I really don't care, nothing mean doesn't matter to me. It didn't stop me, you know what I'm saying? But, you know, some people don't wanna introduce their wife as this really hard name to pronounce to their colleagues and stuff like that.  Or have a shortened version of your name. So, a lot of people just shorten their name to where it sounds simple and that anybody can pronounce it.  Instead of Sharkisha Thomas, they would just put S, period, Thomas. They would know what your first name was and they would just call you Miss Thomas, okay? So, if your name bothers you, then change it. If it doesn't, keep it. Or shorten it to something simple. You know what I'm saying? I don't really get into that because there's so many people that will get offended about, oh, why you don't like my name? You know, why you don't like this? It's just because it's not, you know, typical European names or blah, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't mean it's ghetto. Well, if you're, you know, if you're fine with your name, then keep your name. If you think it will help you, then change it.  Okay? And some guys might like the fact that you have a ghetto name.  They might want to say that, you know? If, if, so you never know, you know? You never know. So all I'm saying is, if you don't like it, then change it. It's up to you. Like, I think our parents, like my mom, her, her, her names were so simple that they probably were dying to name their kids some crazy stuff because they had boring names, Julia, Mary, Susan. They're like, they wanted to go totally opposite. Anyway. So, I mean, look at Beyonce. What kind of name is that? It's famous now, but it was ghetto Beyonce. Now you can say, oh, my wife looked like Beyonce, or my wife, Jay-Z can say my wife is Beyonce, you know? Before Beyonce, that was, you know, that's a ghetto name, but she made it work, you know what I'm saying? Oprah, yeah, Oprah. So you never know. Now people naming their kid Beyonce. So advice for women with kids. Don't date anybody that cannot upgrade your lifestyle or who doesn't want to include your kids in their future. Like you can go on a few dates, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Let them know, oh, I have kids and what are your intentions? Oh, I just want to date you. I don't want to have nothing to do with your kids. Okay, that's fine. If that's what you want, you know, if you want someone to step in and take the place of, you know, being like being a stepdad or whatever, you need to let them know that's what you're looking for. Because like some guys, they will date you just because you have kids, because they think that you're easier, have lower standards and will accept less. But if it were me, I would actually flip the script and expect more, like, oh, you know, I can't date you. They'll be like, why? Oh, because I have kids and they'll be like, what do you mean? Oh, well, you know, you're just not the type of man that I would date or bring around my child. They're gonna be like, what? Well, what kind of man would you? Oh, well, they have to already be financially successful, stable, a clean background. So no, I'm not gonna be able to date you.  No, you do the opposite and raise it up. That way, first of all, they respect you. Know that you're a good parent and don't just mess with any dude and fall for the okidok because you got kids, okay?  So I wonder who the father of her kids are. Is he famous? Does he play ball? You know, does he take care of them well?    You're only going to attract the people that are serious. You know what I'm saying? So a lot of women just get desperate. They just get desperate. Oh, I don't care. I just finally got a date, you know? And that's what you wanna do if you just wanna date for fun. Don't introduce these men to your kids. Don't do none of that, you know?   Don't take them seriously. Don't fall in love.  So this is not the kind of person you need to fall in love with. Or this is not the person you need to start planning your future with. This is just a person who took you out for a meal and drinks and, you know, made you have a good time and that's it. Okay, don't make it into something that it's not. Right? Okay, do you recommend marrying a six-figure man over a millionaire? Dating a man who makes six figures versus dating a millionaire is totally different, okay? Very different. That's why I chose to marry a man that makes six figures versus becoming, you know, something like my sister married a millionaire. They're divorced. Why? Because he could have any woman he wanted at any time and any place. And they were throwing themselves at him because he made money. Now, if she had married a six-figure man, you know, they don't know if he's rich or they don't know if he's famous or a super millionaire and he can't just go around and sponsor 20 different women because he's so rich. He has a family, he has a mortgage, he has a house, he has a car, he has a wife. He has something that he is responsible for. And he can't really afford to go out and spoil other people. And everything that he's investing in, and all those things are not gonna benefit him if he goes out, chief gives another woman pregnant, blah, blah, blah, blah.  You know what I mean? That's why you have all these athletes getting caught cheating and having to buy their wives $4 million rings and things like that. Like new cars going on vacations to Italy and every two months they gotta go travel and do all these, if that's the type of lifestyle you want, then marry a millionaire. If you want something stable, if you just want your future generations to be good and break the cycle of marrying down, then a six-figure guy is good, you know what I'm saying? It just all depends on what you want. Like I didn't want the drama my sister had, okay? I don't want that drama.   Oh no, I was like, I learned from other people's mistakes. I don't have to go out and make those same mistakes over and over. You know, I dated an athlete, but I wasn't trying to marry that person ever because I saw the lifestyle and that lifestyle didn't fit what I wanted, you know? So I was, okay, I'll tell you a story. I was over this, I used to date this basketball player. I was over his house. He had bought his sister like a new BMW, a clothing store for her to run. And I was walking around the house and she looks at me like I'm dirty, like, okay?  I'm like, hi, how are you? She's like, she don't even acknowledge me. Basically, she probably has seen so many girls or maybe she didn't like what I look like or something like that, but she was not having it, okay? His personal chef, she didn't like me. She was side-eyed me all the time, okay? You know, stuff like that. So you already know that these guys bring lots of women through their house when you're not there. You're not the only one.  Do you want people side-eyed in you?  You know, does his sister know something? You don't know. I would never want to live in that type of environment. So like the same type of house he had, you know, it was nice, it was on a higher scale in a higher-gated neighborhood, but it had basically the same thing. Marble, nice decor and all that kind of stuff. Have the same thing I have is just on a higher level with more stress and more, you know, craziness to go with it. You know, I have maids. I know how to cook like a chef. And you know, my husband pays all the bills. I don't have to work. We can go on vacation. So I'm good.  I don't want to have to worry about it. And if I wanted that lifestyle and I thought I could handle it, of course I would go for it. But I don't want my kids involved in that. I want my kids involved in the drama and in the mess, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's not worth it to me.  If things go south, so we good. Somebody asked what women offer other than sex. It doesn't matter because that's all the men want. So why should we offer anything other than sex? Like you gonna come to us and we don't have a vagina? And we don't have a vagina. Are you interested? Are you interested in us if we didn't have a vagina? Then don't ask that dumb question. That's dumb. Like, what do you have to offer besides sex? Oh, I'm not offering sex. What do you want? Click, you know, they're gone in two seconds. Why don't you take that off the table? Like, I wouldn't offer you sex. So basically, when y'all ask that question and y'all don't like the answer you get, then stop asking the dumb question. You already know. That's just like me saying, what else do you have to offer me besides companionship? Okay, what else do you have to offer me besides a penis? That's my question. Cause we don't even care about that. Like, do you have money? Yes, money. It's status. We wanna live nice. We don't wanna live broke. We don't want to have to struggle if we were a grown man. We can have four different boyfriends and get every bill paid and live the lavish life. So when we aim for one man, we need him to be able to do the job of all those other guys that we gotta replace you with. Okay? Well, you gotta have money. Okay, so I wanna say thank you to my girl, Mickey. She sent me this wonderful gift. This is Origins body souffle sample set. She got this off my Amazon wish list. It surprised me and sent this in the mail. Like, this stuff is really nice. Like, if you get like a full bottle of this, it's like $20 per bottle. Y'all, this is some good stuff. So thank you, girl, appreciate it. I told you I was gonna give you a shout out. I did on another video too on my other channel, but just so you know. Okay. Yeah, Origins, I love their cream souffle. Yes, baby. I turned it off. I turned it off. It's cooling down. I'm gonna come down it. You want it on the plate? Okay, give me five minutes so it cools down. I didn't wanna open the oven because it would have smoked up the house. You hungry now? Okay, five minutes. I'm gonna come down and take it out. Okay. So, yeah, of course, if we're gonna settle down with one guy, they need to have money. Because like, if we're gonna settle down with you and you're broke, we're gonna have to plan A, B, C, and D, this dude in our inbox, that dude, you know, on our text message because you can't handle it. You can't handle it all. You know, we're still gonna get this paid and that paid by this guy and that guy if that's how we roll.  So, of course, you're gonna need to be stable and have that money, okay? I'm not finna break up with all my boyfriends for one guy who can't afford nothing. Like, seriously, when I met my husband, you know, I at least had a couple bills paid by some other dudes, you know? I wouldn't finna let them go until I had the replacement. That's crazy.  So, just like when guys look for wives to marry, they're gonna look for the total package. Do you look good? Can you cook? Are you nice? Would you make a good mother? They're not gonna continue dating, you know, all those women that they were cheating on each other with if they find the total package, they might start cheating on you later down line, that's a different story, but if they're gonna get married to somebody, they're gonna have it all. So, why shouldn't we demand the same thing, you know? Can you take care of a wife? Do you deserve a wife? So, yeah, we can be single and still get our bills paid.  I don't understand that. Right. Yeah, someone says Donald Trump didn't marry Melania for her personality. The thing is, you know, men are men. If they see something they want, they're gonna go after it.  And a lot of you women will chase behind a man who don't want them anymore, and y'all will keep chasing and y'all will be in denial.  Okay, if you have to, if your ex is not chasing you to come back, you should not be chasing him at all because he left and he was done in his old, okay?  And I always ask them, why?   Focus on something new, improve yourself, go forward. You know, men should not let women chase after them.  Don't lead her on. Don't say, oh well, you know, don't try to spare her feelings. Some women need their feelings hurt because they will never get it any other way. You need to say, look, I don't want you no more. I'm done. I'm moving on. You need to do the same. This is not a joke. I'm really done. Like, please stop chasing me. I don't want you anymore. Go replace me with somebody else. I don't want you. Look them in the eye and say, I am done. I no longer love you. I'm not in love with you anymore. You'll always be my friend. But that's it. I'm no longer attracted to you, blah, blah, blah, blah.  Well, I know he loved me because he said he did one time. You gotta draw out a picture.  You have to put, you know, change your Facebook status.  You can leave them, cheat on them, cuss them out, you know, block their number. They still think it's a chance. I don't know why, but they do. It just, I don't understand. It's like, oh my God, I know we're meant to be together. No. He's gone and you still waiting on him to come back. Meanwhile, he's getting engaged. Somebody getting someone else pregnant, moved into their house and you still think it's a chance. No. Y'all men need to tell these women, look, I don't want you no more. It's over. I'm with this person, you know. Forget me. Forget me.   And I don't know if that's a mental disorder. I don't know what it is, but there are some women who are still chasing exes from years ago. Like, someone will inbox me. Can you help me get my ex back? I'm like, how long y'all been broke up? Nine years. I'm like, no, by Felicia, nobody. Well, can you help me get my ex back? How long y'all been apart? Three years? Nope, he's gone. If it's a couple of months or a couple of weeks, yes, there's hope. But if it's going on years and more than six months, just move on. It's not even worth it. Let them come back and find you if they really want you. You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. What is your definition of a trophy wife?  Like, you couldn't have got this type of woman unless you're paid. When I go out with my husband, I know I'm his status symbol. Because if he goes out without me and he's just walking around, nobody would know anything.   So it's like an accessory. It's like you raise their status.  That's why rich men need nice-looking women.  And that woman is the next status symbol above their material gain. You know what I mean? So that's what a trophy wife is. Someone who looks like they would only be married to someone with money. You know what I'm saying? That's a trophy wife. Someone who looks good on the person's arm and gives them status. That's it, you know? So like Beyonce, she's a trophy wife to Jay-Z. Jay-Z wouldn't rent, she couldn't have nobody looking like Beyonce. And we already know that, okay? Your sugar daddy asked you three times why you don't have a boyfriend. If you look pretty and you don't have a boyfriend, people are gonna wonder why you're single. The best answer is like, well, you know, no one could ever meet my standards.  I've never met anybody that would, that could treat me like I deserve to be treated. And I'm just holding out for that special someone. And I know they're coming, you know? I'm not just gonna date anybody, you know?  You know what I'm saying? Just say they don't meet your standards.  Okay, okay, okay. If all men say you're beautiful and classy, but never ask you out, that means they can't afford you. That means they can't, or they don't wanna afford you. They want someone cheaper who will be impressed with, you know, less than you would, you know? Basically they hold you up to a higher standard and they can't date you because they don't have what it takes. You know what I mean?  They don't have to try to impress you, you know? They can impress you with the bare minimum if you are not classy or, you know, this and that. So a lot of men won't ask you out because they can't impress you. So take it as a compliment and take it as you're classy, but I'm gonna ask you out because I can't impress you. So you have to go for a higher caliber of men versus someone that will call you classy but never ask you out.  You know, I can't impress you.   You know what I'm saying? So no. Okay, y'all. I don't know how long I've been on here but it's probably been a while. So I'm gonna have to go and wrap it up soon. So y'all can ask y'all's last questions and I'll be off of here in five minutes. But thank y'all for tuning in anyway and coming through and asking your questions and leaving your comments. Like someone's talking about sleeping with their boss or something like that.  Y'all. So if you gonna do it right, that's all I gotta say. Give him something he'll never forget. He slept with your boss and he married you. Yeah, this dude wanted to marry me too but I knew him too well to marry him. I'm like, I've already seen everything you do. I can't marry you. Let me get somebody unsuspecting. Oh, I'm gonna tell y'all the funniest story. Okay. The pastor pimp dude, my ex-boss that is still in my inbox to this day. Him and my husband, well when I was dating my husband got their hair cut at the same place. And my husband and I were going somewhere. He's like, I need to get a haircut. So when you come in here with me, I'm like, okay, I guess I'll come in. And this was a really nice barber shop. They had like a pool table, big screen TVs. It's like a lounge. They had drinks.  And he sees me in there with him and he acknowledges and he's like, how you doing? I'm like, I'm good. He's like, are you here with him? I'm like, mm-hmm. And he just pretends like he doesn't know me. Like, oh, okay. Like he's cool. He already knew it was up.  And so he already knew the game.  But that's how that's how guys are, you know.   So he was just like, well, you know, I wish you the best.  Okay. So, yeah, I'm gonna wrap it on up. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Should I date a retired NFL player? How he now coaches at high school, but I sense it's massively attracted to me at the gym.  They don't make a lot of money. I mean, unless he has money saved because these NFL players blow through their money quick. Like I said, you need to do your research, see how much money find out his net worth in 2017. Otherwise, you can get a teacher's salary, darling. Women prefer men with or without hair. Women prefer men with money. Don't matter if you got hair or not, don't care. All right, y'all, I'm getting ready to go. I'll see y'all on the next one. Bye, thanks for tuning in.


My schedule has changed quite drastically since the start of the waxl pandemic we could not see the children or we could not be in schools but we still just had to be able to provide a service to the children who needed us What we had to do in the middle of the pandemic was then rethink our whole service delivery and video consultations have enabled us to do that so the benefits I have seen from the system is that it is much easier for a patient to show you something ac we are able to turn that around as well. So if we want them to put a dressing on a certain way or to move in a certain way, do a certain exercise, we can demonstrate that back. It saves the patient having to come in. We can see them earlier, we can give them beneficial treatment and advice a lot earlier in their condition than we may be able to normally. We found it almost invaluable with that and we do intend to carry on using it in the future. We've adapted to using video consultations quite rapidly really. It's been really important and it's enabled us to be able to see children. We've had some lovely feedback from families and overall families are really happy with us being able to link in with them via the VCs. I've worked as a speech and language therapist in the NHS for 23 years and this has been the biggest and the most drastic change that I have seen in my entire time in the profession. But it's exciting. It's taken us forward and it's taken us forward in a very fast pace which we probably wouldn't have chosen but what it's actually doing is it's making us think on the spot. It's making us think what we need to do and how we're able to do things for our families. It's very different and it will bring its challenges because we're asking families to work in a different way but we know that it's going to be the safest way, the best way, the most appropriate way for how we need to do things in the future.