What's going on everyone? Sam here, Lance Borchgaard, German 23, Topps Finest, Baseball Hobby, 8 Box, Casebreaking number six, pick your team style, read off the list of our names and our teams here. We've got Bill B with the Reds, Carol G. Royles, Charles F, Mariners Rangers, Daniel B with the Mets, Dean E, Rockies, Edward P, Astros, Blue Jays, Gabriel C. Orioles, Jeff M, Marlins, Brewers, Giants, Nationals, Jonathan A, Pirates, Kazuto M with the Diamondbacks, Lance M, Athletics, Mallory M Braves, Matt C with the Red Sox, Matt P, White Sox Cubs, Matt M with the Twins, Matthew H. Guardians, Michael D. Yankees, Scott Riza R with the Dodgers, Robert P. Padres, Ryan S. Cardinals, Scott T. Reyes, Scott V with the Phillies, Vaughn with the Tigers, and Uda F with the Angels. Good luck here, everybody. Let's do some Finest. Come on, one more Super. One more Super. Here we go, here we go. Blue Bob, Refractor Christopher Morell, got Green Rookie Otto, Grayson Rodriguez, 87 to 99. Nice gray rod. Hell yeah, man. And he's smoking it right now in triple A. He had 12 strikeouts his last debut. He's been kind of shaky so far in the majors, but when he finds it, he is gonna be another Orioles prospect we have to worry about for the next 10 years. Nice one there, congrats on that one. There is a little streak on the side. I'm gonna send an empty box and wrapper with that one. Going to the Orbs, but very nice, congrats Orioles. Nice gray rod, I thought he was in this. Nice. He'll probably be a update guy. I don't think he was in series two. Aaron Judge, I'll think so at least. Nice one there, though. Trey Turner, Mike Trout, 250. Nice one there for the Angels. Nanny Machado, and Michael Conforto. Again, guys, just the nuggets left. Leo Berguero, there's Reese Hoskins, Gabriel Moreno, and Kodai Senga. Just like I said, just last group break spot is gonna be Denver, and nope, just kidding. Never mind, no nuggets left. We're sold out, perfect. Thank you guys, appreciate that. Very much, very, very much. So yeah, we're sold out on the day, everybody thanks again. Brian Bay or Fractor Rookie for the Red Sox out of the Bregman, and Bo Naylor. There's Ichiro Headliners for the Mariners. Joey Vado and Seah Suzuki. There's nice green Corbin Carroll to 99. There you go, Diamondback, scratch on that one. Very solid, 86 of 99. Rhonda Cooner and Jordana. So Heather was showing, because her sister was up there, her sister's partner was up there, and she was showing both of them what I do. Basically, it's hard to explain. And of course, the first break that we watch, right before I start giving Kyle a yellow card, and I had to explain what that meant. I'm like, yeah, we do a lot of gimmicks. Give out a lot of cards. Yeah, we do. Michael Harris, Refractor Rookie. We've got Logan Webb. Nice one there on the Refractor Rotto for the Giants. Logan Webb, Oswald O'Cabrera, and Fernando Papi's Jr. Seriously, that had to be the first thing that we saw. Lenin Sosa, Wilson Contreras to 300 for the Cardinals, Wander, and Gunnar Henderson Rookie. Poglia, Mookie Betts, Headliners, Albert Pujols, Contreras, and Oswald Parado. Kyle Mitchell, Nick Prado, Refractor Rookie for the Royals, Brandon Crawford, Nolan Gorman. Mazataka Yoshida, it's gonna be a green speckle. Max Meyer, nice one there, 125. Rookie for the Marlins, J-Rod, and Garrett Mitchell. Pascantino, Headliners, Derek Geater. Shay Langlears, and Brian Bale. All right, box one is a memory now, on the box two. I'm excited for some obsidian after this, it'll be fun. It's always good. I like obsidian basketball too, it's always end up being pretty solid. There's a color blast of football. Yeah, color blast is football. There's like other SSPs in basketball. It's like there's like a blue flood. It's usually like the case hit, similar to like the white Contra, Carlos Correa. There's Nick Prado Rookie, it's Michael Harris Rookie and Nick Prado again, so that's pretty cool. But I think there's an additional one this year. There's an Adley Rookie. Lava Piedalanzo, nice one there to 100. That's on that. Carlos Correa and Bryce Harper. Last minute of preparation, then 10 and a half hour drive to the beach and no work for 10 days. That is, once the 10 and a half hour drive is over Harrison, that is like the best feeling in the world. Logan Ohapi. Hey, what up James? Yeah, I'm looking forward to obsidian too, man. Mookie, the 175, nice one there for the Dodgers. Juan Soto and Gulchman. I saw what you, I know you have the Lakers in one of the breaks, James. I don't know if you're in any other ones. So I saw your order come through for the Lakers. Jordan Walker, Bates Aronato, Harper, Refractor, Josh Young Rookie, and Joey Manessus.  Sitting's always pretty good. Raumuto, Col, Headliners, Mookie, the Dodgers, Yelch, and Freddie Freeman. Matthew Liebertsor, JJ Bleday, 2199 for the A's and then we've got a Ryan Mountcastle. Auto for it, the, how can I think of what they are?  Yeah, I guess so. Nice one there, congrats O's and Riley Green Rookie. You know what that does, I'm all sold out. I think Forrest is sold out on the first few breaks of his day as well. I would say definitely take a look. We've got another mega dual case rolling out tonight. Got 24 to go in that, take a look at this. 24 to go. That's gonna be again, flawless eminence. I know I think we got some more eminence in. That's why we're doing more of these, which is always good. Never say no to more eminence and flawless. That's always fun. Juan Soto refracting, Oscar Gonzalez and Hunter Green. There's always a couple of huge hits that come out of that, which is fun. Bulpie, Rookie, almost won five of that. Chris Bryant, Blue, Austin Riley to 150. Nice one there, Austin Riley and Corbin Carroll. And one for the Lakers, one for the Sixers, random break six, gonna cook a steak and watch the breaks. Can't think of a better way to spend a Friday than that right there, James.  Paul Goldschmidt refractor, Logan Webb and McClanahan. Fran Scherzer, there's a purple Robbie Devers, two, two, 50, nice one there for the Red Sox. And beer later, hey, there you go. Gentaro Fuginame, let's go, James. Looks like we got an orange. Headliners, Vladimir Guerrero Jr., Rookie Otto, Michael Grove. 16 to 25, nice one there, Dodgers on the Rookie Otto. Betty Salad, Betty Salad, Michael Grove. Ken Walchuk and Bobby Witt. Y'all saw Kyle over on channel two tonight. Let's see how his personal cues look really quick. He'll be ripping personals for you guys. Yeah, decent amount of orders in queue, got a Donneress optic blaster, Finest, Sam with some select teamals, Jakob M with the Premier League and Sean with some spots as well. I'm gonna drop you guys a link to personals too. If you'd like to jump in, grab a personal. Rips, personals, beer. It's been good Vaughn, been really good, really good. Been really good, pulled Corbin Carroll, Orange Otto, Jersey numbered seven to 25, Gunnar Henderson, Orange Otto. Two supers, pulled the base Votto super and then a Austin Riley super, pulled a couple of Riley Greens, a couple of Christopher Morels, a couple of Kodaisengas, Volpe, one Volpe last case as well, Josh Young Refractor, a couple of Josh Youngs. Well, one Otto, one Rose Gold to 75. So yeah, it's been, it is good this year. Spencer Steer, Zekel Tovar Rookies. Devers and base, Mike Trout. Yeah, I'd be down for that, James for sure, man. Gold's coming up here is Hoseil Tuve, 30 of 50. Nice one there for the Astros, World's Finest. Aaron Judge and Manny Machado. Come on, I'll see if we got it, James. Oh yeah, yeah, I sent it over to Lane. I sent it over to Lane. I tried not to injure the carol. Joey Meneses, I think the swing and the bat took care of that last night, unfortunately. Peter Lanzao, headliner is Yelich for the Roors, Kodaisenga, that's Bregman. But we got baseball, nice. I got live though. Now it's the original air date, oh well. World's Finest, Julio Uryas. Shea Langlears, nice one there for the A's for Fractor Rotten. Rats on that Oakland. Bo Nailer and A, Joey Botter. That's fine with me. Christian Yelich, nice one there. Sayas Azuki, I mean, to be honest, probably beats tennis, like not good tennis. Like finals tennis, semi finals, even quarter finals I'd watch over there, but like early rounds of the Wimbledon, man. Yeah, no, I don't know. Ever. So Rory Rees, there's Roppy Devers to 250, Red Sox. You are on Alvarez, Oswald Cabrera. Now that's true, that's true, Vaughn, very true. Very true. Headliner is Mariano. Tautis, Wanderfranco. Christopher Morel. Shohei, Refractor Freddie Freeman. Gunnar Henderson, Rookie, and Wills Contreras. There's 25. I would see like somebody similar to him and see what that card sells for with the same numbering. Poglia, 100 Brown to 75, Rose Gold. Nice one there. Oswald Paraza, Brandon Crawford. It's hard when there's something that doesn't have the actual number. It's hard to comp a lot. That's the only issue. Headliners, Juan Soto. That is a Rookie's Nick Prado, Refractor On-Card autograph, nice one there, Royals. Graz Casey, and Nolan Gorman, Rookie. That was left handed. That's my excuse on that one. Well, there's Redemption right there. Riley Green, Refractor, J-Rod, and Garrett Mitchell. Ooh, is that one of the, yeah, that's numbered one of three. That's the Vapors. What are those called again?  Don't appear. Yeah, it's gonna be Purple Pink Vapor of Hunter Green, numbered one of three. Very nice, congrats on that one there, Reds. That's awesome, one of three. Purple Pink Vapor. Shay Langlears and Brian Baird. I don't think I pulled any of those last year the Purple Pink Vapors. They're pretty nice. They're really nice, yeah. Pasconcino, Javi Baez. There's Libertor to 99, four of 99. Michael Harris, Nick Prado. I'd say that's probably about what you want. Hadley Rochman, Refractor, Oscar Gonzalez, Rookie. Carlos Correa, Bryce Hartman. Max Meyer, Headliners, Tautis. We've got Rookie, Gabriel Moreno. Nice one there, Refractor, Rotto for the Diamondbacks. Gratz on that Diamondbacks. Shigenori, you picking up the Red Sox and a finance PYT, thank you Shigenori. Jordan Walker, Rookie. Purple, Jose Ramirez, 250 for the Guardians. Goldschmidt and Josh Younger. This glass is so stacked, it's kind of unfair how good this glass is. I mean, it's already gonna be, if they hold out Ellie, it's already gonna be really good next year, so. Depending on who makes opening day rosters and whatnot, but you're cool. Hunter Green, Refractor. The Reds, Joey Manessas and Christian Yelch. Oh boy, oh boy, trouble, trouble coming in here. Libertor, Rookie's Hadley Rochman. What's that? I can see all reviews. Yeah, right, the crane, there you go. Oh, Chrome's gonna be so good with this glass, dude. Oh my gosh. Von Grissom, Headliner's Rafi. Oscar Gonzalez, Hunter Green. Yeah, because last year, I mean, they had the autos at least in Chrome. I've like the Jay Rods and the Whits and stuff. Vulpi, there's Austin Riley, Refractor, Austin Riley, Base Corp and Carol Rookie. So yeah, it's gonna be a really good class for Chrome. Really good class, it's gonna be awesome. Nice to ring. There's Gunnar Henderson, two, three hundred. Nice one there, I need a light to do. And Refractor, JJ Bladet, Rookie Auto for the Marlins. So I guess his autos are Marlins and his base are A's. Interesting on that, let me see. Just wanna see if that's, yeah, that's weird. That's really weird. He's got his Rookie, card number six. His base Rookie is a Oakland Athletic and then his autograph is Marlins. So cool, nice one there, Marlins. Francisco Alvarez, Zack Wheeler, Ref Beatty. There's Dave Dorsey's, Dave Winfield and Logan Webb. Yeah, better checklist for vets is always big. Yeah, yeah, much better rookies too, as a whole at least. As a whole. Because yeah, last year, I mean, with like last year's tops, like series one, it was really just Wander and then series two, it was really just Cruz, which made it a little bit tougher. Update got a little bit better when all the other guys started coming out. But yeah, now overall, like Chrome was decent at least because it had the autos in there. Obviously we had the whole thing with the rookies, but like the base, Ziegel Doran, Corbin Carroll, Refractor Rookie, McCleanahan and Bookshit. J.J. Bleday, Rookie. See, so yeah, that's his base Rookie as an A. It's weird. Clayton Herschel, Fujinami Waldachuk. Yeah, I don't know why. Hunter Brown. There's Simeon Woods Richardson to 175 for the twins. Bobby Quit and Ziegel Tovar. The update was nasty last year. Update was really good. Spencer Steer, D.L. Hall, there's Francisco Alvarez, Refractor. Jose Ramirez and Rocky Devers. Blue Bob, Headliners, Cal Ripton Jr. We've got rookies, Otto, Ziegel Doran, 77 to 150, nice one there for the Rangers. Grads on that, Rangers. Nice little color match there. Mike Trout. Yeah, update, I remember, because I was like full-time breaking at that point when update came and I believe. Altuve, Jose Ramirez to 250, maybe not. Aaron Judge and Manny Machado. Yeah, that was an awesome, that was an awesome release. Awesome, awesome, awesome release. Yeah, Alvarez stops doing well. Smoked the Diamondbacks yesterday. Yeah, he's good. I mean, he was the top prospect in baseball at one point, which kind of wild how good a lot of the prospects who came up were. Zach Wheeler, Refractor. And Fordo, Gabriel Moreno, Rookie. Max Scherzer to 199 for the Mets. Kodai Senga, Alex Bregman. Kevali Headliners, Ron Bacunha. Bo Nailor and Joey Glatter. Sturries, Refractor, Logan Webb. Seah, Ron Bacunha. There's Wander Franco to 300, nice one there. We've got Otto, Brett Beatty. There we go. Nice one there for the Mets. First Beatty Otto we've pulled today. As well as, what else? We pulled another Otto this break. That was the first one we've seen. So nice one there, congrats Mets. Brett Beatty, Refractor Otto. Jordon and Oswaldo Cabrera. Otani, Headliners Otani. Tatis and Wander Franco. See, Hulse is in that moment set too really quick while I've got a minute. Moment's autograph. Yeah, Judge, Poo Hulse, Riley, Buxen, Bijio. Fisk, Cone, Murphy, Ortiz. King Felix, that's cool. Pulled the Pudge, pulled the Maurage, pulled the J-Rod. Mark Burley, that's gotta be the perfect game I have to imagine. Trevor Hoffman pulled that one. Trey Turner, Vladdy Jr. No, Vladdy Senior and then Jordon. Yeah, no, that's true, that's very true. I have to say, very true, Mel. Carol or Pete's on a checklist. Hey, I'm in on that though. When you have a guy, oh my God, I'm over two with that, dude. I wanna hear it, I really don't.  I'll get myself a yellow on that. I'll get myself a yellow for missing the trash can twice in a row. That's fine. I agree with that. Anna Hand, Refractor. Gunner Henderson, Rookie Wolf, Contreras. Rookie, it's Michael Harris. Oswald Parazzo, Brandon Crawford. Logan O'Hoppe, 2-1-25, nice one there for the Angels. Nolan Gorman, Rookie. J-Rock, Vladdy Jr. Boba Shat, nice one there. We got a moment's auto. It is gonna be Vladimir Guerrero, Senior. Nice one there for the Angels, that's awesome. As a second player in Angels history, I win AL MVP award, batted 337, 39 homers, 126. And lead in runs and total bases. That's kinda nuts. Batted 371 in September. Awesome one there, congrats on the Vladdy Sr. Here at Mitchell Rookie. That's why I like those moment's autos. That'd be a fun set to chase, like every single auto. Headliners is Nolan Ryan. Langley is Rookie, Ryan Bale. Adley Rushman, Green, Austin Riley, 69 of 99. The Braves, Michael Harris, Rookie, Nick Prado. Could be Y, honestly, no, definitely a potential. Why that's the case. Oh, Hoppy Rookie. Bass Refractor, Centaro Fujinami, for the A's. Perea and Bryce Harper, Jordan Walker. Nolan Aranado, Worlds Finest, JT Real Muto, for the Phillies, Juan Soto and Paul Goldschmidt. Here are Cole, Headliners, Adrian Beltra. Josh Young, and Joey Manasas. Here's Ken Waldechuk, Rookie Refractor. For the Padres, E. Guy Rosario. Nice one there, the Rookie Refractor auto. Grats again, Padres. Nice one there, Yelch and MV Free. Hunter Green, G150. Riley Green, Rookie, Oscar Gonzalez. Anthony Volpe, nice one there, that's gonna be a Bryce Harper. Hunter Green and Austin Riley. Almost went over three, that was bad. That was a little too close for Comfort, right there. That was a front of the rim and got the friendly bounce in. Yep, yep, so it was. I do, I've been out for five days, man. I was on five days rest, so. The arm's not warmed up. There's Bryce Serang, Bobby Witt Refractor, Royals. Corbin Carroll, Rookie, Francisco Alvarez, Rookie. Rhett Beatty, Rookie, O'Neill Cruz. Purple, Ziegel Tovar, nice color match there, to 250, Rookie for the Rockies. Wheeler and Logan Webb, Ziegel Duran, Gold, I believe. Yes, 20 of 50, Gold, Ronald Cunha Jr. 20 of 50, there you go, Braves. Nice one there on the Ocunha. Plain of Hand and Bo Vichette. J.J. Bleday, Rookie. Ziegel Tovar, Rookie Refractor. We've got Ziegel Duran, four of 150 on the blue, true blue for the Rangers. Nice one there, Rangers. I think there's Shazeed taking a couple. That arm's always warmed up, oh yeah. Ah yeah, I love the color match for sure. Yeah, I did, James. I went up to Vermont for a couple of days with my girlfriend and her family. Headliner is Randy Johnson. Oops, oops. Can Walda Chuck and Bobby Whitt. It's pretty big, the dumpster, how many times a week does the trash come? Spencer Steer, Rookie's Oscar Gonzalez. All we want to do is tell him to leave us. Yeah, once or twice a week, I would say the trash comes. Yeah, it's pretty full. It's pretty, yeah. It's very full. What's up, Smitty? Sorry, Mikey. Get this guy out of here. That's bad. I just went, like we went up there for the fort. They have a couple of lake houses up there. Jose Ramirez. Like her grandfather owns a lake house, like way off on a peninsula, and then her dad bought the house right next door. So they own two of them. So we just hung out up there.  Al Tuve, there's Ezekiel Tobar, the 250, nice one there for the Rockies. Aaron Judge, and Manny Machado. Peter Lanzo, headliner is Aronato. Michael Conforto and Gabriel Morena. I flew in to Platsburg, actually. I flew in to Platsburg. Rafi Devers, Refractor, Christopher Morell, Rookie Otto, nice one there, Cubs. Oh yeah, we went fishing. Nice one there, Cubs. Kodaisenga and Alex Bremen. Yeah, me and her dad took a rowboat out to like the middle of the lake. We were on Lake Champlain. We caught a couple of perch.  He had, dude, he caught a gar. And we had to call Heather to have her run down to the dock to get a net, because we had, and then we were like out in the middle, so he was rowing and I was dragging his line with the fish on it. So if you get it, Pull the fish. Pulling the fish with us so we can get it to the, yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, but there's a smaller airport down here, Vaughn, and it flies directly into Platsburg. And it's like a 40 minute drive to our lake house from Platsburg. Fernando Tautiste, 300, nice one there. There's Bo Nailer and Joey Vada. Did I eat a pizza? Am I missing something going over my head there from K.Riz? Did I eat a pizza? Albany or Springfield, yeah, exactly. Eat your headlines, say Azizuki and Akunya. We would have flew into Burlington as expensive to fly into Burlington from Florida. And I have to be missing something from Kyle. There's gotta be some sort of something on that one. Yeah, I caught a couple of perch. That was really it. We caught like sunfish, obviously, just through those back. We caught the perch and ate them, which was pretty good. The perch was good. Her dad fried them in some cornmeal, which was delicious. And then of course, the day we left, he went back and started fishing again. And he caught like a 16 inch bass. So I was like, of course, dude. Of course, I missed that one. There's Mike Trout Refractor, Yordan, and Oswaldo Cabrera. Yeah, I think from now on, we're just going straight into Platsburg. It's so much easier. Christopher Morel Rookie. Kyle Mitchell to 175. Fernando Tautiste Jr. and Wanda Franco. It's pretty mad. Went in Sosa. There's Jonathan India. Got a blue rookie, Josh Smith. Going to, I thought I was going to say, I saw the Rangers hat. I was like, no, that's Jay Smooth right there. Why does Kyle want to know if you ate a pizza? I don't know. I don't think I did. No, I didn't eat a pizza up there. Gunner Henderson? No, we flew into Platsburg, but it's like upstate New York. We went to Vermont, yeah. Nah, no, hell no. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff in Lake Champlain, dude. A lot of fish in there. Aaron Judge Refractor. There's Oswaldo Paraza and Brandon Crawford. Yeah, yeah, for sure, Ram. It was awesome. That was awesome. Kyle Mitchell, headliner is out of the pool. I'll take that for this very quick. No one to go around and Jay Rudd. What'd you say? Every comment on the Corbyn parallels. He's heard. Yeah. No, no, no. Cool. He's still probably rookie of the year. There's Stu Observation there. Card guy, 305. There's Masatake Yoshida. Got Ezekiel Durand to 199. Got one of the, oh god, Kinsu Kuroi's. He's gonna be rookie Oscar Gonzalez. Nice one there. It was like one in 311 packs. Bratz on that one there. Cleveland, nice little short print. And Gary Mitchell. So, what? Durand. Oh, Ezekiel Durand? Yeah. Former Yankee prospect, right? Yeah, that's what we got for the Galax. That's great. What a waste. It was basically Durand for Galax. What a waste that was. I think we got an arm also. Probably got an arm too. I did have an apple pie actually, yes. I had a piece of apple pie. Yes, I did. Did you have any syrup? Oh yeah. We brought some home too. Manny Machado, Shay Langlears, and Brian Bell. Actually, the coolest thing we brought home is they have like, you could buy it in like a shaker bottle. It's like hardened maple syrup, like crunchy things you put on your ice cream and stuff. That's fire. The best is the maple syrup from the month that comes in the middle. Yeah, you just, yeah, yeah. There's purple Bobby Whitt to 250, nice one there. Her dad bought like five jugs of it or something because he's driving back down to Virginia. There's Michael Harris and Nick Prado. Oh yeah, apple pie. We had poutine too, because we're right near Canada, dude. That's definitely not American. That's not. No, that's not. We didn't have that on the fourth though, so to be fair, Addy Rushman. There are cheater headliners. I think it's just called sugar. It's maple, dude. It's not just sugar, it's maple. Lee Overboguero, refractor rookie, other nice one there for the pirates. I wouldn't call it like fudge and like cravings and like anything. Yeah, I know. It's basically just sugar, sugar. Yeah. Instead of what it is. There's a little scratch right there on the baguero. I'll send an empty box and wrap it with the pirates. Sorry about that Pittsburgh. Nice to wear a lot of them. That's, and also that's going to be, we're going to have to upgrade Kyle to a red on that one for that comment. Yeah, that's deserving of that. That's deserving of red. See you later. You're out of here. Right, James? I don't know. Logan O'Hoppe, he's got nothing better to do. Here's refractor Michael Conforto, one soda called Goldschmidt. Jordan Walker. Which to be fair, I do most of the time have nothing better to do as well. That's why I harass Kyle, which is always fun. Arnato, there's Oswaldo Cabrera to 300 on the late, late blue. Josh Young Rookie and Joey Manasas. Last pack of finest for the morning, everybody. Good luck. Super practical, last pack of syrup. Oh, I forgot. Yeah, happy birthday, Sam. Oh, God. There we go. JT Real Muta. There's a Mark McGuire, a nice one there. On the rivals, headliners, Mookie Betts and Christian Yellich. That comment is good enough to give Jordan a yellow. There we go. Yellow on Jordan. All right, quick recap here, guys. We had the Kinsukuroi of Oscar Gonzalez, Lou Gunner Henderson, or Aqua, I should say, or light blue, whatever it is. Ziko Tobark 250 on two different parallels. Logan Ohapi to 125, to 99. Corbin Carroll, nice one there. Rose Gold, Hunter Brown. Gold, we had Jose Altuve, Ronald Acunha. We had the Purple Pink Vapor to three. Hunter Green, again, that's gonna be one of three for the Reds. We had Vladimir Guerrero Sr. on the moments. Very cool one there. Had a Nick Prado. I appreciate that, James. Christopher Murrell, E. Guy Rosario, Ryan Mountcastle, J.J. Bladet, Leo Verbaguero, Gabriel Moreno. Shay Langlears, Logan Webb, Brett Beatty. Blue to 150 is Ezekiel Duran. Blue Josh Schmidt, blue Ezekiel Duran, again. Green Grayrod, and an orange Michael Grove. That will do it for the break, guys. Thanks again for the fill. Coming up next, we've got Obsidian.


damaged? broken? hurting? depressed? anxious? obsessed? can't let go? dysfunctional? who you're gonna blame? your parents! it's like the Ghostbusters! but is it justified to blame the parents? let's start with the simple answer absolutely yes absolutely yes I will repeat this and what I'm saying is backed by decades of research well over a hundred years actually including massive studies such as ACE the adverse childhood experiences studies parents the environment they create nurture are by far the most decisive and dominant factor in who you're gonna become and how happy you're gonna go go through life and so yeah your parents are to blame and to take the credit if you turned out to be a wholesome relatively healthy normal functioning person now there's a qualifier here there are mental health issues disorders which have a pronounced hereditary or genetic component for example borderline personality disorder schizophrenia bipolar disorder antisocial personality disorder especially psychopathy these disorders are heritable to some extent if you have relatives with these disorders you're far more likely to develop it later in life similarly neurobiological problems brain abnormalities structural and functional lead to the development and manifestation of certain certain mental health disorders no one is disputing this however genetics is a predisposition genetics is a potential your parents have the key to unlock this potential so if you are genetically predisposed to develop a mental illness it is your her parents behavior or misbehavior the environment that they have created which are conducive to the development of these mental illness they kind of activate your genes they express them so all in all the answer is a resounding and overwhelming yes parents are responsible for the mental health of their children up to age 36 months it's the mother's role and she is the dominant and she is she decides she makes the decisions and the choices which shape the child to become later an adult with attachment disorders personality disorders you name it at age 36 months the father takes over until six or nine years old so it's a collaboration it's a joint venture between mother and father at different stages of development and they make you who you are and this is precisely why abuse and trauma and mental illness are intergenerationally transmissible they're transmitted from one generation to to the next there's a transmission mechanism here this transmission mechanism is also known as parenting this is a topic of today's video my name is some back mean and the author of malignant self love narcissism revisited a former visiting professor of psychology and currently on the faculty of see ups in Canada United Kingdom and Nigeria let us delve right in but before we go there I'm sorry before we go there allow me to answer two questions that you've asked repeatedly number one you ask me narcissists are triggered by films these questions have to do with previous videos that I've posted narcissists are triggered by films what about music music triggers the narcissist but the triggering here is of a much more primitive kind music reminds the narcissist of his early childhood and training by yes the mother so music resonates with the mother's voice which in early childhood has entrained the narcissist deformed his mind or her mind and made the narcissist to what he is so this is the first question and the second question had to do with with my video on three ways to navigate your life spaces and so on the thesis in that video is that the brain perceives physical space social space your biographical space your life your biography and your inner internal space the brain perceives all of these as spaces and all of these are tackled by a structure in the brain known as the hippocampus hippocampus can't tell the difference between a physical space a real space an imaginary space a paracosm fantasy your life etc and the hippocampus uses memories the same way we use landmarks physical landmarks in a foreign city as tourists for example so the hippocampus uses memories as landmarks as signposts and navigates using these memories in order to create a coherent space now the self for example is this kind of space your identity is this kind of space which is because it is comprised of memories within a narrative narrative that is perceived by the hippocampus as spatial and temporal the hippocampus navigates time itself as a kind of territory as a kind of space and for more go back to the video and listen again watch it again and I hope this time it will make some sense and from the hippocampus to your to your parents now I have several videos on this channel which deal with good parenting good enough mothers for example in bed parenting one of the videos is titled tongue-in-cheek how to create a narcissist so I have dealt with these topics before but today I'm going to go a bit deeper I'm going to demonstrate to you how the parents mental illness or mental health problems are reflected in the emerging personality or self or ego whatever you want to call it of the child how there's a resonance of pathologies this resonance creates the child the child is formed out of the resonance with his parents character temperament personality and unfortunately in many cases mental illness or mental health pathologies so let's start with the issue of boundaries breach of boundaries there are two ways to breach the child's emerging nascent boundaries one way is via brute force aggression of some kind it could be physical aggression could be sexual aggression these are the could be verbal aggression these are the classical forms psychological abuse these are all breaches of boundaries the parent does not allow the child to develop firm communicated non-breachable non permeable boundaries the boundaries that later define the perimeter of the integrated or constellates itself so the parents annexes the child appropriates the child objectifies the child treats a child is an extension or a tool these are all classical forms of breaching boundaries but there's another way to breach boundaries to neglect the child to abandon the child to be absent to don't to don't mind the child and ray green called it dead mother when you don't pay attention to the child you don't provide the child with a kind of feedback or pushback that allows the child to realize where he stops and you begin communicating your own boundaries to the child paying attention to the child hovering around the child hovering around the child being present for for the child these are all critical in boundary formation because the child says here's mommy she is here and this is where she stops and I begin but what if mommy is never there what if she's depressed or selfish or sick or physically absent or emotionally absent and so on the child is unable to develop boundaries because his boundaries are endless they're not limited by anything they become infinite yes you're right this is known as psychosis or narcissism narcissism is the flipside of psychosis in both psychosis and narcissism there is an egregious breakdown of boundaries and consequently a total confusion between internal and external objects now the child who is exposed to bad parenting can adopt one of two strategies appeasement or rebellion if the child regards the parental figures as godlike he would expect the rather of the gods he would expect he would expect their aggression their rage their punitive measures there so what he would do he would try to appease them the same way chanbelin tried to appease Adolf Hitler in 1938 the child would negotiate and compromise with the parent by actually minimizing himself or herself the child would vanish gradually would disappear into the parent would merge and fuse with the parent as a form of ultimate appeasement mommy I don't exist anymore you don't need to be angry at me you don't need to worry about me so this is appeasement the rebellion strategy is also a form of merging and fusing with the parent via a mechanism known as internalization in projection the child identifies with the parent with the abusive traumatizing absent parent and incorporates her into himself rather than becoming a part of mommy this kind of child makes mommy a part of him it's reverse reverse appeasement if you want so it's rebellion the child is the locus of the merger and diffusion while in the appeasement strategy which is typical of people pleases and co-dependence in the appeasement strategy the child vanishes and reappears inside the mother or the father later in the rebellion strategy the child annihilates mother and father in his own mind and absorbs them becomes one with them and in this case in because of this because of this strategy he also becomes infallible omnipotent and initiate like mommy and daddy by absorbing mommy and daddy he becomes a god it's a process of apotheosis so this is typical of children who go on to become in adulthood antisocials psychopaths or narcissists these are the two strategies parents who are mentally ill or mentally dysfunctional mentally and well this kind of parents react to the child's strategy whether the child appeases them or rebels against them they're likely to react because they're not well they don't have their own boundaries they are unbounded they don't have impulse control they are defined these parents are defined they are reckless they act out they are dysregulated they're not well so and they themselves these kind of parents are usually highly immature essentially they are children as well so there is a battle battle of the galaxies there's a war that starts within the household and the parents deploy this kind of parents bed parents deploy a host of primitive infantile defense mechanisms against the child the child never mind how precocious never mind how intelligent never mind how well developed the child is defenseless against the parents defenses this child doesn't have the life experience and doesn't have the mental structure the child doesn't have even have the brain the brain continues to develop up to age 25 so the child there's a power asymmetry here and parents who are mentally ill are gonna take advantage of this power asymmetry to smother and suppress the child mold the child sculpt the child shape shift the child render the child into exactly how they want him or her to be there's so much putty in their hands and one of the major maps the main defense mechanism used by parents against the children is splitting by misbehaving by mistreating the child abusing the child and traumatizing the child the child is faced with a dilemma the child can say my mother is evil my father is sick but then this is terrifying because the child is dependent dependent on mommy child is dependent on daddy for food for shelter the child can't come to say mommy's bed because if mommy's bed the child is going to die mommy's not gonna feed the child mommy is not gonna shelter the child mommy is not going to protect the child mommy is not gonna help the child and the edict child will die. So the child can never say, can never attribute badness, can never say mommy is evil. Instead what the child does, he splits the parental figures, he splits mommy. This is an all bad mommy and all good mommy. And the child internalizes the all bad mommy, the all bad part. The child becomes a bad object. The mommy remains all good, the child becomes all bad. It's a defense against acknowledging and realizing that it is mommy that is bad or at least that there is a part of mommy that is frustrating and withholding and avoiding and absent and bad. The child cannot admit this, cannot accept this. So the child would rather say, I am all bad. It's all my fault. I am unworthy. I'm ugly.  I'm provocative. I'm the one who is responsible for what's being done to me. Of course, when the child uses the splitting defense mechanism, which essentially is imported from his parents, the child assumes his parents splitting mechanism. He is kind of infected by this contagion of splitting. So when the child does this, he is unable to integrate. He is unable to integrate people because he is used to seeing mommy as all good and himself as all bad.  The future is all bad. The past is all good. Splitting takes over. This kind of child grows up to be an adult who is not integrated. And in extreme cases, disintegrated because of the splitting, constant splitting defense. Bad parents also use projection. Every human being has parts of himself or of herself, traits, behaviors, thoughts, emotions, qualities that we are ashamed of, that we will rather not admit that we deny, that we refrain. Parts of us that are embedded in some kind of self-justifying or self-victimizing narrative. I'm a victim. So all of us have these parts that we wish to disown. Parts of us that wish to discard, we think we would be much better people without these parts. And so one of the main infantile defense early childhood defense mechanisms is known as projection. We project these parts. We attribute them to other people. If I'm weak, I would say that you are weak. If I'm abusive, I would blame you for being abusive. I'm projecting everything that I am and that I'm ashamed of and that I wish I weren't. I'm projecting onto you. I'm attributing to you. I'm blaming you. So this is known as projection. But here's something very important that all the scholars have missed because I've read everyone and they all missed this. Projection in childhood. When the child is subjected to projection, it always becomes projective identification. Children never experience projection. They always experience projective identification. Now to remind you, what is projective identification? Projective identification is when I project my shameful parts, the parts that are rejecting me. I project them onto you and you collude with me. You collaborate with me. You embrace these parts of me that I've projected onto you. You develop the self-belief that you are what I say you are. So if I'm actually a weak person, I would accuse you of being weak. And in projective identification, you would accept it. You would say, yes, I'm weak. This applies to many, many fields of life. For example, homophobia.  And in the process of projective identification, you would accept it and you would say, yes, I'm gay. The child is so helpless, so defenseless. There's such a massive power of symmetry. There's such dependency that the child always accepts the parent's projections. The parents are perceived as godlike, infallible. They never make mistakes. And so when the parents project onto the child, rejected parts, parts that they are ashamed of, traits and behaviors and thoughts and emotions that they would like to disown, they project them onto the child, they throw them at the child, the child adopts these parts, adopts these behaviors and traits and emotions and cognitions. Child makes these his own. He identifies with them. He becomes, he becomes these parts of his parents that his parents have rejected. Every projection in childhood is automatically an exclusively projective identification. The child trusts the parents, believes the parents, regards the parents as all good, all knowing.    The child is going to adopt this view, these parts of the parents that they projected onto him or her. The child is going to adopt these parts and become these parts. In childhood all projection is projective identification and these parts, these traits, these cognitions, these emotions that the child had adopted from the parents remain with him or with her for life well into adulthood. So this is the second mechanism that bad parents use against their children. Now it's not, it's not premeditated. There's no cunning or scheming here. Oh wonderful, I have a child, I'm going to destroy it now. No, these people, I told you these parents are dysregulated, they're mentally ill. They can't help it. Many of these, many of these defense mechanism actually unconscious. Okay, the next form of damage that such a parent does, bad mother, bad father, is social isolation, isolating the child, preventing the child from interacting with peers, with role models, with the external environment, with reality itself. Social isolation is also denying the child the friction with reality which is the main engine of growth, personal growth, personal development. Reality provides very crucial feedback in childhood and it is a feedback of boundaries. It's the feedback of being right and wrong, trial and error, being in touch with reality without any coseting or overprotection or smothering or spoiling or pampering or idolizing or pedestalizing, being in touch with reality without any of these abusive tactics is very important. But bad parents isolate their children and they create in a child what I call self-referential isolation. Because the child has no access to reality, to other peers, to role models, to teachers, to family sometimes, to the neighborhood, to, he doesn't have any access to any kind of feedback or input from the environment. The child becomes his own referent. He becomes his own frame of reference and point of reference. So the child begins to consult itself. The child talks to itself. The child becomes his own or her own friend. But remember, when the parents are mentally ill or unwell, the child has a bad object. So when the child keeps referring to himself, he is actually interacting with and consulting with a bad object. And this negative, this bad object is inflated. So there is a problem here. The child cannot access reality or society or his peers because his parents isolate. They don't allow him, very often physically, don't allow him to exit home, for example. And so this kind of child would withdraw inwards. In negative self-referential isolation, the child would consult or consort with or befriend his own bad object and would become worse and worse. The bad object would become inflated. The child's energies, cathexis, would be inwardly directed and imbue the bad object with powers and qualities that would allow the bad object to take over the child. And this is psychopathy and narcissism. Similarly, another type of child that is socially isolated, subjected to splitting and projection and bad parenting, another type of child may interact with, befriend, associate with his ego ideal, his impossibly inflated and grandiose self-image. This kind of child is pampered and smothered and feels entitled. It feels entitled.  But here's the thing. The expectations, the demands of the ego ideal, the script of the scenario, this kind of child is subjected to, the unrealistic expectations, the crazy demands set up the child for failure. So the ego ideal, the false object also becomes a bad object, owing to constant defeat, collapse and failure. Now, this segment is complicated even for me. I want to explain it again. When the child is socially isolated, the child cannot interact with peers, with role models, teachers, grandpa, grandma, I don't know, child is isolated. So the child begins to interact with itself. He cannot interact with anyone out there, so he is interacting with himself. But inside such a child, there is an object. The object could be a bad object.  So one group of children have a bad object inside. And by interacting with a bad object, they are empowering the bad object. They are inflating the bad object and they become narcissists and psychopaths. Another group of children, they don't have a bad object. They have an ideal object, a crazily good object, impossibly good, with expectations and demands that are impossible to fulfill and to meet, and so they fail. These kind of children measure themselves against the ego ideal, against this inflated internal object, which is ideal, perfect, brilliant, amazing, handsome and so on. They can never measure up to this kind of internal object. So this internal object also becomes a bad object because it becomes associated with failure, defeat and collapse. To cut a long story short, children of mentally unwell parents, who are also consequently bad parents, always end up with a bad object. Either it is a bad object, which is antisocial in many ways, because it's bad, or antisocial, evil even, or it's a bad object that is a failure, a defeat, a collapse, because the child can never measure up to the expectations and demands and wishes and dreams of this internalized ideal object that was implanted in him by the parents. In both cases, there is a bad object. The endpoint is always a bad object. Another outcome of social isolation, so the first outcome is self-referential isolation, but another outcome is an impaired reality testing. It's a muscle, use it or lose it. If you are not allowed to interact with reality in an unfiltered, unprotected manner, if you are always isolated, closeted, overprotected, not allowed to engage in any intercourse and discourse with anyone ever, either because you are superior to everyone or because you are inferior to everyone, bad object or inflated, fantastic ego ideal for self. For both reasons, doesn't matter. The end result is you gain no experience with reality, and so you begin to misjudge reality. You begin to mis-evaluate reality. You get it wrong constantly, and this is known as impaired reality testing. As these children become adults, they begin to rely on other people for reality testing. They can't do it themselves. They don't have this capacity. The muscle of reality is a trophy. It's never been put to good use or any use in childhood, so they have to rely on other people to inform them, to give them information about reality, reality testing. So the borderline, for example, would use her intimate partner. For the ego function of reality testing, she would ask the intimate partner, do you think it's real? Do you believe that? Do you trust him? She would use her intimate partner as a reference point, as an encyclopedia, as Wikipedia, as a source of, if I want to get a grasp of reality, if I want to be certain that what I'm seeing, what I'm hearing is accurate and correct, I will ask my intimate partner. The narcissist on the other needs other people to tell him that his false self is not false, that his shared fantasy is not a fantasy, it's reality. His false self is real, it's out, it's absolutely him. He is not misrepresenting himself. He's not grandiose, he's not inflated, he's not fantastic. So he also needs other people, the narcissist also needs other people for reality testing. He wants them to lie to him, and this is known as narcissistic supply, but it's about reality. He wants them to restore his trust in his internal reality as the false self. He wants them to convert his fantasies into elements of reality, so he is also dependent on other people for reality testing. The situation is even much more complicated. If the parents, the mentally and well mentally dysfunctional, disordered parents, have more than one child, because they encourage sibling hierarchies and sibling competition in an extremely unhealthy way, they have favourites, golden child, they have scapegoats, they have fixers and healers, they have geniuses, they assign roles, emergent roles, so these kind of parents engage in a theatre production. This is known as role theory, and I have a video dedicated to role theory, by the way. So they engage in a theatre production, where every one of the children has his own role assigned to him, it's a rigid role, it's a fixed role, and there's no way to ignore it, or to avoid it, or to correct it, or to amend it, or to somehow mitigate it, or ameliorate it, nothing, you can't do anything. Once the role has been assigned to you by the bed, mentally and well parents, that's it, you're stuck and you're effed. So there's a lot of rivalry, competition and bad blood between the siblings, the parents encourage it in a kind of divide and rule by establishing hierarchies, which are not married based, they're arbitrary, they reflect the pathologies of the parents, so they're also ever shifting. Today you're on top, tomorrow you're the underdog. This enhances the parent's power, it's only that parent can allocate roles, and only that the parent can decide at any given moment, whether you're on top or whether you are trampled at the bottom by other siblings. Mentally ill parents abuse their children, leverage them, make use of them as battering rams, as instruments against each other, they encourage internecine turf warfare between the children. In this way, they gradually create a cult, because everyone in the household is a member of the cult, and the parents are the cult leaders, often one of them is a cult leader, it's known as folly adieu, or at the time it used to be known as shared psychotic disorder. So households with mentally ill parents resemble cults, they have cult dynamics and require interventions which resemble very much cult deprogramming. The cult structure enhances all the parental defenses, for example, the cult allows the parent to split the world, we are all good, everyone out there is all bad, other people are wrong, they're the enemies, they will never understand us, they're evil, we must protect our secrets, we behave in ways which are morally superior to everyone else. So this is a form of splitting, all the defenses that I've mentioned are amplified a hundredfold by the structure of the cult, in which the child finds himself embedded, the child consequently is instrumentalized. Now sometimes the child is instrumentalized by being idolized and adulated and smothered and pampered and pedestalized, it's a form of abuse as it converts the child into a tool, an object, subject to expectations that are so unrealistic that the child is always in a state of failure and collapse and defeat and this is accomplished, the instrumentalization and objectification of the child are accomplished via coercive snapshotting.


Hello and welcome to the Paul Cantamini show presented by Buffalo Wildlings. I'm Greg Royce showing here with Stevenson head men's lacrosse coach Paul Cantamini. Coach, how you opened your season with a hard fought game against Denison yesterday. You're kind of back and forth, very entertaining game, and ultimately, you know, they scored with a few seconds left and 111 to 10, kind of take us to the game. Yeah, I mean, I thought it was a really hard fought game. I thought both teams played very tough. I thought we played very tough and, you know, it just came down and they made one more shot than us really. I thought we did a lot of really good things defensively. I thought we played really well. We probably forced them into doing some things, but I think we just got to get... The biggest thing for us is that our younger kids played well. We got better and we had a shot to win the game when it mattered and, you know, we just kind of were a ground ball or two away from the end. You know, we played a lot of young kids out there in that game and I think they grew up a lot and stuff. But, you know, hats off to them. They played well, but I'll think we'll get better and be ready for Gettysburg this weekend. Yeah, absolutely. A couple of young kids I thought played well. Obviously, Jacob Tanner had four goals and Graham McKee, a kid who didn't play a lot last year, you know, had a goal in three assists. Two kids that came in, stepped right up and played a big role yesterday. Yeah, you know, Jacob's had a great fall and in a great spring he's done a really, really good job and we expect him to do that. He'll get more and more playing time. He makes the most of his touches, I think, and he shoots the ball really, really well.  You know, he just does his role. You know, he makes the plays he should, I think, and I think he only made, like, really one mistake all game and played really well. But we have a few other guys in there. Gray, you know, Gray King started an attack and he didn't do much, but he got his feet wet and understand what he needed to do. Jacob Deuster at the pole did a good job and played really well. And we're going to get some other freshmen involved this week as well as they move forward here and some younger guys. But, you know, it's good to see some young guys step up and we need them to do that. But that's, you know, each year we got different guys to step up and do different things. Yeah, yeah, obviously important.  Yeah, no doubt. Yeah. So kind of shifting gears, looking ahead to this weekend. You play Gettysburg, a team very similar to Denison, likes to kind of control the pace, control the tempo a little bit. And they're coming off a big win, kind of talk about them. Yeah, I think we're kind of playing the same team three weeks in a row. You know, I think Denison and Gettysburg and Salisbury are all really very similar teams and how they attack and what they do. And, you know, we're going to have to be ready for that. They've got a really good attack and it's been done really well for them. They've got a couple of young guys they play as well. And so they're going to do that but they've got to really, probably one of the best goalies in the country and we're going to have to get ready for him. They play great team defense. They've got a pretty good face off, guys. So, you know, we'll be ready to go and compete again. And, you know, we really respect them and what they've done. Coach Jens will always have them ready. And, you know, we'll have them here under the lights on Saturday and we'll get ready to strap it up again. Yeah. All right, coach, it should be a fun one this Saturday night. Hope to see everyone at Mustang Stadium. It's going to be a good night. All right. For Paul Canterbury, I'm Greg Royce. This has been the Paul Canterbury Show.


An opportunity for the entire city to come out and celebrate Easter. It's a wonderful family-friendly event, both of the work being done by our incredible parks and rec staff and my wife and her team along with a whole lot of volunteers. Working out, moving and having fun while you do it. We have our person from the community garden and they're doing an herb tasting and we have Chef Jay and she is teaching the kids how to make healthy snacks. Teaching the importance of exercise, of eating well and what that means to living a whole and complete life and it's spending more time with the people that we love. Push good health, push exercise and to celebrate in a good family-friendly environment. This year we're so excited to be here at the Mills House in the heart of a historic district, a Robert Mills Historic District in Columbia. So it exposes so many more Colombians both old and new to the incredible historic treasures that are being maintained and preserved by Historic Columbia Foundation. An exciting year to be here.


Hello and welcome to the session. In this session, we discussed the following question which says the volume of a block of gold is 1 meter cube. If it is hammered into a sheet to cover an area of 1000 meter square, find the thickness of the sheet. Before moving on to the solution, let's recall the formula for the volume of a cuboid. This is equal to L into B into H or we can also say this is equal to area of the base of the cuboid into H. L is the length of the cuboid, B is the width of the cuboid, H is the height of the cuboid and we have the area of the base of the cuboid is equal to length into width of the cuboid. This is the key idea for this question. Let's move on to the solution. We are given the volume of the block of gold is equal to 1 meters cube. Block of gold is cuboidal in shape so this means that the length into width into height of the block of gold is equal to 1 meter cube. We are given that the block of the gold is hammered into a sheet and we have the area of the sheet is equal to 1000 meter square. Now since L into B into H is equal to 1 meter cube so this means that area into H is equal to 1 meter cube. Now we have the area of the sheet is 1000 meter square so 1000 meter square into H is equal to 1 meter cube. Now this gives us H is equal to 1 meter cube upon 1000 meter square. This is equal to 0.001 meters. Here this H is the thickness of the sheet so we get thickness of the sheet is equal to 0.001 meters. Hence our final answer is 0.001 meters. So this completes the session. Hope you have understood the solution for this question.


It's time for the first MacGibb of 2023 and listener Scott brings us our quick tip of the week with rather than press the crown and then scroll or poke around in the grid of the Apple watch, I simply press and hold the crown and launch Siri and then tell her to launch heart rate or launch workout or whatever app you need. Much easier than the grid view or the list view and scrolling around. More tips like this. Your questions answered today on MacGibb 962 for January 2nd 2023.


The narcissist is terrified of you leaving them, but just to make it clear, they don't really value you or care about you as a person. You're not special to them, they only care about themselves.  You're just an object, you're not significant to the narcissist. You're just something they like to use, but they see you as their property and they don't want to lose something that belongs to them. They fear that someone else might take you away because they're very insecure, which is why they try to compensate for that by acting like they're special and important, as though they're better than everyone else. Because deep down they feel inadequate, they feel like no one cares about them, like they don't even matter in this world. So they have to make up for that by acting as though they're the best and as though everyone wants them. So if they lose you, it's like an attack on what they think they are because they're telling themselves they're the best. They're telling themselves there's nothing better than them. But if you leave and you find a better situation without them, that means they're lying to themselves and then they have to face reality. They have to feel inadequate because if they were really the best, how could you move on and do better without them? Which is why they don't want that to happen. They would rather you stay with them and have no energy or money and with no help or support from them. Instead of you moving on and living your best life with someone else, that's how they're thinking in their minds.  Even though they know you may not be happy with them because they don't want you to be happy without them. It would make them feel insignificant to see you moving on without them. To see you not even thinking about them because they have to tell themselves that they're the best so that they can feel significant. They don't really want you or care about you but they will still keep you around. Otherwise that means you'd have to move on and forget about them before they got the chance to do it to you and they don't want that to happen. Which is why if they know it's about to end, they will go out and try to find someone else in a determined and energetic pursuit of their needs. They will keep you around long enough just so they can find someone and then they can go because they've got someone else so they won't care. As long as they've got someone who has given them attention, as long as someone thinks they're special so that they don't have to go through the pain and suffering of you moving on from them, they have to be able to control the situation. They have to say that they didn't want you. They were already done with you so that they can feel good. They have to change the story. It can't be that they messed up and lost you.  Everything they do is about themselves and their emotions. The only thing they really care about is how they feel about themselves. They don't care about anything else and they're very sensitive. Their feelings can change very quickly. They can change from one moment to the next. They're easily hurt and offended. Which is why they try to put themselves in the best situations where they won't have to deal with things that normal people have to deal with such as disappointment or feeling and losing. Which is why they can never be loyal to anyone. They can never be with just one person because if the ship is about to go down, they've got to have a backup option. They were never loyal to you. They always had someone else on the side. You just may not have known about it. But narcissists cannot put all of their eggs on one basket. They need to have other people just in case something goes wrong. Because things always go wrong with them. They've seen it happen before with other people they were with so they expected it to happen again. They're expecting you to get fed up and leave them or they're expecting something to go wrong for you. But they don't want you to leave. So they will pretend to be nice. But once you've let them know that something is wrong with them, that something is not perfect, it's all over for you after that. Because they don't want to feel like anything is wrong with them. So once you've told them that something is wrong, from that point on they're going to see it as though something is wrong with you and they need to get rid of you. Because if you can't see how special they are, you have no use to them. They have no purpose for you. But the crazy thing is once they do get rid of you or once you leave, they will beg for you to come back. They will apologize. They will cry. They will buy you gifts. Just so they can do the same thing all over again, it never changes. Because no matter what, they just can't do the right thing. Because if they did that, it would mean that something was wrong with them all along. It would mean that they were the cause of everything. It would mean that they messed up. Which is something they're never going to accept. Because they're telling themselves they're the best thing since life's bread. They're telling themselves everyone wants them. But you want to leave them.  So that they can feel good. Because the only thing that matters to them is how they feel. Rather than accepting the truth and reality of the situation. Which is that they did mess up. They did make mistakes. And they are the problem. They are the ones who need to be fixing things. Or they are the ones who need to be left. Not you. They're never going to accept that. But it's why they don't want you to leave them. Because they don't want to accept the truth that they messed up. They don't want to accept that maybe they're not so great after all. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries. You can email me at coaching at NARC Survivor at AccruUK. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.