Hey guys it's Liana and I'm here today to talk about Biforce Alone by Lobby Tadar. So this is the book that I read with Buddy and Amanda from The Nile Librarian for our monthly buddy read. As of the filming of this video we have not yet had our live show but as of the filming of this video she has started the book and has informed me that she is not linking. Just throwing that out there. So you watching this right now may or may not know more than me because I haven't decided if I'm posting this before or after the live show probably after. So you know more than me. But yeah so if you don't know anything about this book and you didn't watch our live show, which has happened in the past for you, this is a retelling, reimagining, recontextualization of the Arthurian legend. And this book is weird as a book. But I dug it. I was like on the fence and I was like do I love this or do I hate this? I think I love it. It's a weird one and I feel like you will either love it or hate it. I don't see how you could feel in the middle about it because it's odd. It's a very odd. So the best way that I can think to describe this is if Joe Abercrombie was to write a myth but he had just watched Stranger Things and was really inspired by Stranger Things. So if that sounds weird to you, it is. But also if you've read this or if you're about to read it, I think you'll find that that's accurate because it is very grimdark in the very much in the style of Abercrombie where the people are kind of like disgusting humans doing disgustingly human things where ruthless and selfish and ambitious and there are many dicks being whipped out throughout the book at all times. Like that was a little much on that. The point was like I don't really object to that at all. I don't really care if you're going to be describing genitalia.  Again. Again, if you've read Abercrombie books he frequently makes mention of or references or characters reference men's fruits which are balls which I just love that as a euphemism. This book has if if Abercrombie has fruits, Laby Tadar has swords I guess because that metaphor is used a lot to describe a penis. Like it is referred to as the sword or like describing what one is doing with it is described as like activities that are associated with the sword but it's understood by the reader and by the characters that we're not talking about a sword. So I could have done what's less of that. But otherwise it had this older mythic quality which is not that's why I said if Abercrombie decided to tell a myth because the way Abercrombie writes it's not mythical. It doesn't have this like old folklore legend quality to it and this book definitely does but it's like your folklore has been crashed by Abercrombie characters who are all whipping their necks out. I mean the women in it the men in it they're all kind of like disgusting in a very Abercrombie-esque way but it's still very much like the birth of a legend and it feels that way. Merlin feels like Merlin like a magical thing but also definitely a gross and human and selfish and ambitious thing. The women in it too they could come out they could be in an Abercrombie book and you wouldn't like an eye but they also feel like Nimue and Morgana and like they feel like mythical legendary ancient figures but also so disgustingly realistically human and I think that is I believe that's kind of the intention here is to de-heroicize Arthur and everyone surrounding Arthur but at the same time it's it's doing things making you question your own perception of your own perhaps your your nation's history your personal history the way that we heroicize and mysticize and aggrandize our past our collective past and I mean there's reference made to that too constantly Merlin because he is a magical figure that is kind of timeless then he thinks about that but how things will be remembered who will be remembered how it will be recontextualized by their descendants like he's actively thinking about it so it's present in the narrative unambiguously that discussion of what we just witnessed was not heroic or worthy of legend but the fact that it's either intentionally being crafted by people like Merlin in order to result in legends being told or just Merlin thinking about it like well I saw what went down but I wonder what people will say about it in years to come so I appreciated that from a meta narrative standpoint what it's doing which it's something I've seen before people especially nowadays do like to do that with the stories we think we know so taking a character like Arthur and de-heroicizing him like yes we've that's not entirely an original idea but I think it's done more here than I've seen anywhere else this was sort of sold and marketed as being a similar to like Guy Richie's King Arthur that's what I expected it is much darker and much it's doing just much more social commentary than that movie reports to even so if you're going into it expecting that movie but in book form you won't like it or I mean you may like it but it's not that and I don't I think you'll agree that it's not that it's only that in the sense of like it's a much more gritty and violent version of Arthur and you've got that sort of like it feels more like gangs it feels more like the godfather it feels more like that than like chivalry and knights and heroism so in that sense like Guy Richie's is more like you know a street thug version so in that sense it's kind of there but like oh other than that the vibe is really different and then yeah the stranger things part um I can't really tell you why it's like stranger things because it's really spoilery but it's like the stranger things because throughout the book it's teased I mean because a big part of the Arthur legend is also the grail and the search for the holy grail so that's brought into it but there's constantly these questions throughout the book and not just to do with the grail it's to do with everything to do with Merlin and with Nimue and with Morgana this clashing of science versus the mystical and it's not entirely clear from this book if it's saying that you know everything that we thought of is magic is actually science it is not yet understood because I've seen that done before if not that it's magic it's for sure magic it's kind of this notion that they cannot co-exist the one they are mutually exclusive so as soon as you start bringing in science it defeats the magic by necessity because magic inherently does not make sense and when you're starting to make sense of the world that is the like antithesis of magic they cannot exist at the same time and so I feel like again that's a narrative I've seen before where like you know slowly like these ancient lands lose their magic the magic is leaving the world and that's kind of what's going on here but I know much more visceral and much more it's more obviously going on that they are literally clashing that you cannot have science, math, technology present with magic they they can't she just can't and so that's brought into it quite a bit which again I enjoyed that was an interesting take on it because again it was there so much more overtly than I've seen before I've seen before where it's just like oh you know slowly magic is fading or again I've seen the other version of it where like people call this magic once upon a time but really today's science we understand that this was a science thing it's not doing really either of those things it's really just saying you had but it was a magic but as soon as you brought technology into it just magic just couldn't deal could not deal so I found that interesting and then again I can't tell you why it's like Stranger Things but it's absolutely like Stranger Things which that part of it I love Stranger Things like I really really love Stranger Things and so as I was experiencing that part of it I was just like I was not expecting this I kind of love it but also I do I hate it like is this a good idea I don't know this is a good idea but I'm here for it like as I like the back of my mind while I was experiencing this book I was just like what was that mother thinking and did his editor not ever go are you sure about this bro are you sure you want to do that it's it's very out there but it's kind of like unapologetically wrongers which I'm here for and the author wasn't shy about it the author wasn't just like they've been doing something weird the author was like I'm doing this weird ass fucking thing and I'm doing it you're like you're doing it all right we're doing it oh so yeah I enjoyed that and then the telling of it there was this the book is called by force alone and I've seen before more often than not like 6040 I tend to be more annoyed than not annoyed when I see the actual title of a book in the book unless it's like there's a trick to doing that I just feel like if it feels like the title was put in there because that was the title I hate it versus if it feels like well this book was titled this because when it was written this was said so often that you're like well let's call it that if it feels like that then you're like or then me for me I'm like well yeah I mean this is appearing in here because that's just part of the story and that's why we called it that so cart leading the horse basically if I feel like it's shoved in there because that's the title then I like Rise of Skywalker well that was shoved in there anyway uh yeah so in this book more so than I've seen in probably any of their book unless the name of the book is like a name of book character like obviously like in harry potter like the name harry potter appears frequently like so I'm not talking about that by force alone that phrase I didn't count but it's in it a lot like a lot it's like the thesis of the book and it's because the book is told in this way that it's it's not a poem but it kind of sometimes feels like one it kind of sometimes feels like like this older form of storytelling you know like like the odyssey or the iliad or like beowulf where you're telling vignettes of a longer saga in this is it's not a poem and it's not written as a poem but it has this vibe of a poem because it's kind of repetitive in this poetic way and it keeps coming back to by force alone as though like if somebody told you that this was like an epic poem that's called by force alone you wouldn't blink an eye and that part of it I also kind of really super duper enjoyed I thought that was kind of brilliant the way it was doing that and I can't put a finger on it because again it is not a poem it's not told as a poem but it's got the vibe of a poem of a ballad of a saga of something like that and it keeps circling back again to by force alone and it's applied not just to Arthur it's applied to everything it's basically the thesis of the book is that nothing is achievable but by force alone and it's used to describe and to to address every form of like taking something or doing something by the skin of your teeth or it's I can't it's just everything basically everything boils down to by force alone a woman giving birth by force alone a man claiming a seat of power by force alone somebody making it through a long journey by force alone it's the entire book so it's aptly named and it didn't bother me it didn't annoy me when I saw it because I wasn't just learning by force alone I was just like it's kind of genius yeah by force alone yeah I feel yet I get you I see you I'm with you that could annoy you I understand I appreciate that while I enjoyed it that could easily annoy you and I would be understanding if it did for me it worked in general I just feel like this is the book which I'm holding upside down this is a book that's either gonna work for you or it doesn't and I would not at all be frustrated or angry or or I wouldn't really disagree with the person who said it didn't work for them at all I'd be like I feel you like I was on the fence and I literally like it was the hair that's brought the way from me hating it but I actually quite loved it like I gave it four out of five stars it's just very it's deeply bizarre but it's doing its thing and it is doing its thing by force alone it's just unapologetically doing the thing that I wanted to do and I'm here for it and I kind of want I I also you know you know you don't know what you don't know but I get the sense from the little bit that I do know about the Arthur legend there's a lot more in here that I'm missing because I'm not that familiar with the Arthur legend the various iterations of it all the mythos associated with it I don't know that much about it I watched the sword and the stone as a kid I've seen the guy Ritchie King Arthur and uh I watched Camelot on stars so yeah I don't really know much about Arthur like we studied a little bit in some of my Arthur classes as like the cultural genesis of the Arthur legend and what that meant for for people and how they use that to define themselves as a people which is why that part of this book really did uh that part I could easily appreciate because I actually did that's the part I do know about not the actual events of the Arthur legend but just more about what the Arthur legend did to create a narrative for a people so when that book was very overtly addressing how basically Merlin is like the people need a legend to define themselves by and I'm giving them one I was like yeah that's what happened in history I don't know so like that part I know but I get the sense that the author did put a lot of things in here that I I know why I'm missing I know that I'm not getting references and and twists on pieces of the Arthur legend that if I was more familiar I would could more deeply appreciate so perhaps if I was more familiar with Arthur legend maybe I would hate it because I'd be like oh my god would you really are other legend or I would appreciate it more I think I would appreciate it more and it might even bump into five stars but I'm just like I don't know if it's brilliant because I don't know what it's playing off of so I just get the sense that it's there and that I am not getting it but the parts that I that because of the parts that I did get I suspect there are parts that I did not anyway let me know the comments down below if you've read this book if it sounds like a book that would be for you again like I'm not recommending it unabashedly wholeheartedly I'm saying I liked it and you very possibly could like it but it's a weird one so like going to it ready for it to be weird it's really it's really weird so yeah let me know the comments down below your thoughts and feelings about the Arthur legend about Arthur as the mythos that defined a nation sure tackle that in the comments I don't know whatever you want to let me know I post videos on Saturdays and other times but definitely Saturdays so like and subscribe and I'll see you when I see you bye


Have you ever been manipulated? If you have, you know how much it can hurt to be in that position. Manipulation is a form of abuse, and prolonged exposure to any type of abuse can have negative effects on our mental and physical health. So obviously we don't want this to happen. But how do you know if you're being manipulated? And what do you do if you are being manipulated? Let's talk about it. Recognize the tactics. Manipulations aren't one-trick ponies. They have an entire repertoire of strategies and tactics to make you do what they want. Psychotherapist Dr. Lee Phillips said in a Psych-Central article that manipulation isn't always easy to spot. In fact, at times it can be subtle, as someone may appear well-meaning toward you. Sometimes the manipulator gets so good at their manipulation tactics that it almost seems like a normal conversation. To protect yourself from their grip, it's important to know what manipulation looks like and how to recognize a master manipulator. One common manipulation technique is gaslighting. A 2021 research article published in Perspectives on Psychological Science defines gaslighting as the act of manipulating others to doubt themselves or question their own sanity. For example, remember in Pretty Little Liars how Ezra made up a whole new reality for Arya to believe in? Just like she started questioning everything after that. After dealing with a gaslighter, you may question your reality too. Manipulators also often use very specific manipulative phrases, which can make it easier for you to spot them. If you'd like to know what they are, we made a video on 10 examples of what gaslighting sounds like. Another manipulation tactic is being passive aggressive. Say you have a roommate and they always leave their dishes in the sink instead of rinsing them and putting them in the dishwasher. The first few times you saw this, you cleaned them to be nice. Now, your roommate leaves their dishes for you every day and night. Instead of being direct and asking your roommate to do their own dishes, a manipulator might say, Wow, you had a lot of dishes today. Or jeez, I was supposed to call my friend, but I'll have to call later since there's a pile of dishes to be cleaned. These statements don't directly tell your roommate how you feel and why, but they do hint at the fact that you're annoyed with something about the dishes. Some other manipulative mind games include the silent treatment, lying and denying reality, or using your insecurities against you. If you'd like to learn more about spotting a manipulator, feel free to check out some of our older videos on manipulation. Defending against manipulation. Spotting a manipulator is just the first step in protecting yourself. When their tactics go so far that you start feeling crazy or guilty, you should be able to react right away. Here are some powerful psychological techniques you can learn to fight off the manipulator. What are your boundaries? A licensed clinical social worker and therapist, Nedra Glovertwaab, said for Very Well Mind, letting people know that certain things are just not working for you is a really helpful way to take back your power, and this is where boundaries come to play. Expectations and needs that help you feel safe and comfortable in your relationship with others. Boundaries allow you to send a clear message as to what you are and aren't comfortable with. Think about what your boundaries are. What kind of behavior bothers you? How would you like to be treated? By stating these things, you can potentially stop manipulation in its tracks. No. No. And no. After you identify your boundaries, you should know how to stop the manipulator from walking all over them. Learning to say no is an important part of that. If you're having trouble with saying no and standing your ground, you may struggle with people-pleasing behavior. A 2015 study published in the journal Violence and Victims states that people-pleasing is often a response to trauma. It may stem from being raised in a household where your feelings were dismissed and neglected, and as a result, now you may be too afraid of other people's reactions. You don't want to feel like a bad person for saying no. Working with a therapist could help you understand and unveil your trauma, gain confidence, and push the manipulator far away from you. Me, myself, and I. Since manipulators want to make it all about themselves, you could turn the tables and make it all about yourself.  There's a great communication strategy called I-statements. Those are statements that focus on your emotions, your thoughts, and your beliefs. For example, if a manipulator tries to dismiss your feelings by saying, it's not a big deal. You reply by saying, I understand that you might not see it as a big deal, but I feel bad about this situation and I think it's unfair. This type of communication is commonly used in relationship or family therapy, and a 2018 research article showed that it can be an effective way of reducing conflict and hostility. A trusted insight. Even though a manipulator might make you feel like you're all alone, this isn't true. Is there a close friend, a family member, a therapist, or even someone you met online that you trust? If you recognize some red flags and think you're dealing with a manipulator, talk to someone. Describe your situation and ask them for their opinion. If you both believe you're being manipulated, it may be time to think about creating distance from that person or speaking to a mental health professional for advice. The aftermath. You know the tactics and you know how to protect yourself from potential manipulation. How do you cope with the fact that you were manipulated or exposed to forms of abuse? Firstly, you should know that it is not your fault if a manipulator targets you. Kim Said, a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, also says that manipulators tend to specifically target trusting, loving, compassionate people who may lack boundaries due to their kind nature. Apart from that, manipulators often come from dysfunctional families or suffer from personality disorders according to the Mental Health Center of America. That's not an excuse for how they act, but it shows that you're not the reason for their behavior. If there's no way of speaking with the manipulator to set clear boundaries, it may be time to go low or no contact. Licensed psychologist Kate Ballastriere said in an article for Mind Body Green, if the other person continuously bulldozes your boundaries, going no contact may be a useful strategy. Working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you make the decision that is right for you. Final Thoughts. So now you know how manipulation tactics look, how you can defend yourself, and also cope if you've been manipulated. Hopefully you feel confident that you can get your life back on track. Once you're able to recognize a manipulator from a mile away, they'll never be able to hurt you again. Give this video a thumbs up if you found it helpful, and comment your thoughts down below. Don't forget to subscribe for more videos like this. Thanks for watching. Until next time.


The Western Massachusetts Writing Project is an organization made up of dedicated educators and writers who work hard to create programs that will enrich teaching and learning across the Pioneer Valley. These programs include conferences, courses, institutes, and workshops for local teachers as well as workshops for youth writers. A core WMWP program is the Summer Leadership Institute. SLI asks K-16 educators of all disciplines and roles to explore the impact that race, language, poverty, and privilege have on equity in teaching and learning through daily writing, peer group collaboration, and individualized research. This year, Alicia Lopez and Sam Briggs will be facilitating SLI. Sam will tell us a little bit about her own experiences with SLI and her and Alicia's hopes for this year's institute. I was a relatively new educator when I participated in SLI and I found it to be an incredibly empowering experience. Not only did our work enhance my teaching practice, but even more significantly, I felt such a strong sense of community and solidarity with my cohort. Participating in SLI inspired me to become a teacher leader within my school community and beyond. I think that is the greatest outcome I can hope for for this summer's SLI. To build a community of teachers who feel empowered within the world of education for themselves and their students. Overall, Alicia and I really want to create a space for educators to enact positive change, especially as it relates to the most pressing social justice needs of our time. Join us in our efforts to support teachers as writers and agents of change by contributing to WMWP. Teachers in some districts do not have funding to attend SLI and cannot afford to pay themselves. For donations, fund scholarships for these teachers to be able to attend the Summer Leadership Institute. Thank you for your time and support.