Chapter number 51 of Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. This is LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org recording by Arthur Piantandosi. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. Chapter 51. Faulting an explanation of more mysteries than one, and comprehending a proposal of marriage with no words of settlement or pin money. The events narrated in the last chapter were yet to a two days old when Oliver found himself at three o'clock in the afternoon and a travelling carriage rolling fast towards his native town. Mrs Maley and Rose and Miss Bedwin and the good doctor were with him, Mr Brownlow, followed by a post-chase accompanied by one other person whose name had not been mentioned. They had not talked much upon the way, but Oliver was in a flatterer of agitation and uncertainty which deprived him of the power of collecting his thoughts. An almost-of-speech appeared to have scarcely less effect on his companions who shared it in at least an equal degree. He and two ladies had been very careful in the main, equated by Mr Brownlow with the nature of the admissions with check and force from monks, and though they knew that the object of their present journey was to complete the work which had been so well begun, still the whole matter was developed in enough of doubt and mystery to leave them at endurance of the most intense suspense. A save behind friend had with Mr Brownlow and Miss Bourne's assistance cautiously stopped all channels of communication through which they could receive intelligence of the dreadful occurrences that had so recently taken place. It was quite true, he said, that they must know them before long, but it might be a better time than the present, and it could not be to worse. So they travelled on in silence, each busy at elections on the object which brought them together, no one disposed to give utterance of the thoughts which crowded upon all. But if Oliver under these influences remained silent while their journey towards his birthplace by road he had never seen, how the horrible current of his elections ran back to old times, what a crowd of emotions were wakened up in his breast when they turned into that which they traversed on foot. A poor, helpless, wandering boy and that a friend helped him or a roof to shelter his head, See there! cried Oliver, eerily glassping the hand of Rose and pointing out at the carriage window, That's the style I came over. The other hedges I grabbed behind, for fear anyone should throw, take me and force me back. Yonder is the path across the fields, leading the old house where I was a little child. Oh, tick, tick, my dear old friend, if I could only see you now, you will see him soon. The blind rose gently taking his folded hands, but we no own. Oh, surely now have you are, nor rich of grown, and that in all your happiness you have none so great as the coming back to make him happier too. Yes, yes, said Oliver, well, take him away from here, and have him clothed and taught and said to some quiet countrymen they grow strong and well, shall we? Nor is it, yes, for the boy was smiling through such happy tears that she could not speak.  I know to hear what he can tell, but never mind, never mind, it will all be over, and you will smile again. I know that too, and think how ashamed she is, you did the same to me. He said, God bless you. To me will have run away, cried the boy with a burst of affectionate emotion, and I will say God bless you now and show him how I love him for it. He approached the town and at length through its narrow streets he became a matter of small difficulty to restrain the boy with unreasonable burdens. There were sourberries, the undertakers just as it used to be, only smaller and less imposing in appearance, and he remembered it. There were all the well-known shops and houses with almost everyone of which he had some slight instant connected. There was Gamfield Cart, the very cart he used to have, standing at the old public house door. There was that workhouse, the dreary plethora of his youthful days with its dismal windows frowning on the street. There was the same lean porter standing at the gate, a sight of wit-oom, an involuntarily shrank back, and laughed at himself for being so foolish, then cried, then laughed again. There were skulls of faces at the doors and windows that he knew quite well. There was nearly everything as if he had left it but yesterday, and all his recent life had been but a happy dream. But it was pure, earnest, joyful reality. They drove straight to the door of the chief hotel, which Oliver used to stare at with awe, and they were mighty palace, but which had somehow fallen off in grandeur and size. And here was Mr Grimweger already to receive them, kissing the young lady, and the old one too when they got out of the coach, as if he were the grandfather of the whole party. All smiles and kindness are not offering to eat his head, no, not once, not even when he could predict a very old post-boy about the nearest road, London, and maintained him to it best, though he'd only come that way once, and at time fast asleep. There was dinner repaired, and the bedroom was ready, and everything was arranged by magic. Notwithstanding all this, when the hurry of the first half-hour was over, the same silence and constrain brailed that it marked the journey down. Mr Brownlow did not join them for dinner, but reigned in a separate room. The two other gentlemen hurried in and out with anxious faces, and during their short intervals when they were present, reversed apart. Once Miss Maley was called away, and after being absent for nearly an hour, returned with eyes swollen with weeping. All these things made Rose and Oliver, who were not in any new secrets, nervous and uncomfortable. They start wondering, and the silence, or if they'd changed a few words, spoke in whispers, as if they were afraid to hear the sound of their own voices. At length, when the new clock had come, and they began to think they worked until no more that night, Mr Lawsburn and Mr Grimwig entered the room, followed my Mr Brownlow and a man whom Oliver almost shrieked with surprise to see, for they told him it was his brother, and it was the same man he had met at the market town, and seen looking in with fagin at the window of his little room. Mungs cast a look of hate, which even then he could not disemble at the astonished boy, and sat down near the door. Mr Brownlow, with papers in his hand, walked to a table near which Rose and Oliver were seated. This is a painful task, said he, but these declarations which have been signed in London before many gentlemen must be in substance repeated here. I would all spare you to the great shun, but we must hear from him from your own lips before we part, and you know why. Go on! said the person, at rest, turning away his face. Quick! I've almost done enough, I think. Don't keep me here!  Yes! said Mungs, scowling at the trembling boy, the beating of whose heart he might have heard.  The term you use, said Mr Brownlow, certainly, is a reproach to those long-sins' past but beyond the evil censure of the world. It'll reflect disgrace on no one living except you, who use it. Let that pass! he was bored in his town. In the workhouse of this town! was a silent reply. You have a sword in here! He pointed impatiently at the papers as he spoke. I must have it here, too! said Mr Brownlow, looking round upon the listeners. Listen, man! You! Returned Mungs! His father being taken ill at room was joined by his wife, my mother, for the movie had long, long separated, who went from Paris and took you with her to look after his property for what I know for no great affection for him, nor he for her. He knew nothing of us, but his senses were gone, and he slumbered on till next day when he died. Among the papers in his desk were two, dated on the night as the illness first came on. Directed to yourself! He addressed himself to Mr Brownlow and enclosed in a few short lines to you, with the intimation only covered at the package that it was not to be forwarded for after he was dead. All these papers was a letter of his girl likeness. The other were a will. What of the letter? asked Mr Brownlow. The letter! The paper crossed and crossed again with penitent confession and prayers to God to help her. He'd pawned a tail on the girl at some secret mystery that he'd played one day, and he was marrying her just then, and so she had gone on trusting patiently to him, until she'd thrusted too far, and lost what none could ever give her back. She was, at that time, with her eagerness of her confightment. He told her all he had meant to do, to hide her shame if he lived, and prayed to her if he'd die, not to curse his memory, or think the consequences of her sin would be visit on her, their young child, for all the guilt was his. He reminded her of the day and given her a locket in the ring with a Christian name engraved upon it, the blank left of that which would hope one day to a bestowed upon her, prayed her yet to keep it next to her heart as she had done before, and then ran on wildly, and said words over and over again, as if he had gone distracted. I believe you heard. The will, said Mr. Brown now, as all of his tears fell fast, monks were silent. The will, said Mr. Brown now, speaking for him, was in the same spirit as the letter.  The bulk of his property he divided into two equal portions, one for Agnes for Leeming and the other for their child. If it should be born alive, and never come of age, and the money unconditionally, if but if a boy, only on the stipulation and in his minority should never be stained his name with any public act of his honour, meanness, cowardice or wrong. He did this, he said, to mark his confidence in the other, and his conviction only strengthened my approaching death, and the child shared a gentle heart in noble nature. If he were disappointed in his expectation, then, and not till then, when both children were equal, would he recognise your prior claim upon his purse, or an ann upon his heart, but hard, from an infant impurposed him with coldness and aversion. My mother, said monks, and allowed atone, dear woman should have done, she burnt this will, the red and ever ancient destination, but that another proof she kept in case they ever tried to lie away the plot. The girl's father and the truth were there with every aggravation that a violent hate, I love her for it now, put out, goaded by shame and dishonour, he fled his children to a low corner of Wales, changing his very name that his friend might never know of his retreat, and he erred a great while afterwards, he was found dead in his bed. The girl had left her home a secret some weeks before, he'd searched for her on foot in every town in village near. It was all that night when he returned home assured that she had destroyed herself to hide a shame at his his own old heart broke. There was a short silence here until Mr Brownlow caught the thread of the narrative. Years after this, he said, this man's Edward Leiford's mother came to me, left her, when only 18 robbed her of jewels and money, gambled, squandered, forged and fled to London, where for two years he associated with her lowest outcasts. She was seen here under a painful and incurable disease in which to recover him for each if died. Inquires were set on foot, and searches made, they were unveiling for a long time, but after it was successful, and he went back with her to France. There she died, said Mounds, after lingering you miss and on her deathbed, she bequeathed these secrets to me. The girl went along quenchable and deadly hatred of all whom they involved, though she knew not to have left her either out, for I had inherited it wrong before. She would not believe that a girl had destroyed herself and the child who, but was filled with the impression that a male child had been born and was alive. I swore to her, if I am right, course my part to hunt it down, never to let it nest, to pursue it with a bitterest in most one religion and immensity. The vendor wanted the hatred that I deeply felt and spit upon the empty vault of that insolcing wheel by dragging it. If I could inherit Gallows' foot, she was right. He came in my way at last. I began well and but for babbling draps I would have finished if I had been gone. As the villain folded his arms tight together and knotted curses on himself and the impotence of babble and malice, Mr Brown no turned on the terrified group beside him and explained that the Jew would have been his old accomplice and confidant at a large reward for keeping one of them snared, which some part was to be given up in the event of being rescued. The dispute on his head led to their visit to the country as for their purpose of identifying him. The look it and ring said Mr Brown no turning the monks I bought them for the man and woman I told you of who stole them from the nurse who stole them from the corpse answered monks without raising his eyes you know what became of them Mr Brown no nearly nodded to Mr Grimwick disappearing with great alacrity as shortly returned, pushing Mr Bumble and dragging an unwilling horn salt after him you must have saved me cried Mr Bumble with alphated enthusiasm all that little oliver oliver if you know how I've been grieving for you how would you tell me poor murmur this was Bumble is it nature nature means Bumble remain strictly the work out master come on I've been supposed to fill hours broke all my porokey away you all seem I'll sit and hear them all ladies and gentlemen all very off of this description always know that boys have you been my my own wrongful there said Mr Bumble halting for an appropriate comparison most are always there my dear you remember the blessing yet am I not what ways go it will have a long weak little cover we've played at an old oliver come sir said Mr Grimwick tightly suppress your feelings oh you do more endeavor sir applied Mr Bumble you do sir I'll hit you very well this salutation was addressed to Mr Brownlow who had stepped up within a short distance of a respectable couple inquired as he pointed to monks do we all know that person no required Mr Bumble frankly perhaps you don't said Mr Brownlow addressing a spouse oh I never saw him in all my life said Mr Bumble nor sold him anything perhaps no we collide Mrs Bumble you'll never have perhaps a certain gold look it and reign said Mr Brownlow certainly not replied the ancient well we brought here to answer to such nonsense as this again Mr Brownlow noted Mr Grimwick and again that gentle and lipped away his ordinary readiness but not again did he return with stout man and wife for this time he led in two palsid women who shook and taught it as they walked you shut the door the night-old Sally died should the foremost one raising a shrill hand but you couldn't shut out the sound nor stop the chinks no no looking round and wagging us toothless jaws no no had tried to tell you what you'd done and so you would take a paper from a hand and watched you too next day to the bone broker shop said the first yes I did the second and it was a lock it and go ring we found out that and so it given you we were by oh we were by and we know more than that resumed the first she told us often long ago that young mother had told her that feeling she would never get over it she was on her way at the time that she was taken ill to die near the grave of the father of the child would you like to see look at himself asked Mr Grimwig with emotions all the door no replied the woman if he has been ordered off to confess as I see he has and you've sounded all these hags and you've found the right ones and nothing is all to say I did sell them and there you would never get them what then nothing remains for us to take care that neither of you is employed as in the situation of trust again you may leave the theorem said Mr Bumble looking about him with great fulfulness as Mr Grimwig appeared with a two-way woman I hope this unfortunate will serve himself and all and prawn me at my poor okay office indeed it will replied Mr Brown you may make up your mind to that and think yourself well off besides it was all Mrs Bumble she won't do it as Mr Bumble first looking around was detained as his partner had left the room there is no excuse replied Mr Brown you are present on the occasion the destruction of these trinkets and indeed are the more guilty of the two in the eye of the law for the law supposes that your wife arcs under your direction our law supposes our said Mr Bumble squeezing his hat empathetically in both hands and always an arse an idiot an arse of the law a law's abhorger the worst time we shall always is our maybe open ball experience boy experience laying great straddle the repetition of these two words Mr Bumble fixed his heart on very tight and putting his hands in his pockets for ladies help make downstairs young lady said Mr Brown turning to Rose give your hand don't tremble you'll need not fear to hear the few remaining words we have to say if they have I do not know how they can but if they have any reference to be said Rose please let me hear them at some other time I am not strength or spirits now no return the young gentleman drawing her arm through his you have more fun to do than this I am sure do you know this young lady sir yes blight mugs I never saw you before said no as fately I have seen you often return mugs the father of the unhappy Agnes had two daughters said Mr Brown now what was the fate of the other the child the child replied mugs when the father died in a strange place in a strange name without a litter book or scrap of paper the faintest crew by which his friends or relatives could be erased the child was taken by his own Richard Cottagers re-initised their own go on to Mr Brown signing to Mrs Mealy go on you couldn't find the spot onto which the wise people had repaired said mugs what may a friendship fails hatred often falls away my mother found it after a year of cunning search I had found the child she took it did she no the people were poor and began to sicken at least the man did of their fine humanity so she left it with them giving them a small present of money which would not last long and promising more which she never meant to send she didn't quite reply however on the discount-tended poverty for the child's unhappiness but to all the history of the sister's shame for such alterations as suited her bathed and to take good heed of the child for she came a barred blood and told them she was illegitimate and sure to go wrong at one time or another the princess countenanced all this the people believed it and there the child dragged on in existence miserable enough to seem to satisfy us until a widow lady residing there in Chester saw that girl by chance pitied her and took her home there was some cursed spell I think against us but in spite of all her effort she remained there and was happy I lost sight of her two or three years ago and saw no more than to have few once back now yes leaning on your arm but not the less my niece cried Miss Maley folding the fainting girl in her arms not the less my dearest child lose her now for all the treasures of the world my sweet companion my own dear girl the only friend I ever had cried Rose, cleaning the door the kindest best of friends the devil burst I can't bear all this you have gone more and have been through all the best and gentlest creature that ever shed happiness in everyone she knew Miss Maley embracing her tenderly come, come my love remember who this is who waits to clasp you in your arms thought child see here, look, look my dear not aunt sister, my dear sister it's something taught my heart to love so dearly for the first Rose, dear darling Rose let the tears which fell and the broken words which were exchanged and the long, close embrace between the orphans be sacred father, sister and mother were gained and lost in that one moment join grief or mingled in the cup but there were no bitter cheers or even grief itself arose so softened so than such sweet and tender recollections and it became a solemn pleasure and lost old character pain they were a long, long time alone must off tap at the door at length announcing that someone was without all had opened it glided away and gave pace to Harry Maley I know it all he said, taking a seat beside the other girl Dear Rose I know it all I'm not here by accident I had it after a length and silence nor have I heard all this tonight, for I knew it yesterday only yesterday do you guess that I have come to remind you of a promise? stay said Rose, you do know all all you gave me leave any time within a year to renew the subject of our last discourse I did not to press you to alter your determination to pursue the young man I did, if you would I was a lever of station or fortune I might possess at your feet and if you still adhered your form of determination I pledged myself by no word or act to seek to change it the same reasons which influenced me then will influence me now said Rose Firmini if I ever would speak to an individual who's goodness saved me from a life of indigents and suffering when shall I ever feel it as I should tonight it is a struggle said Rose what I am proud to make it is a pang but when my heart shall bear this disclosure of tonight early began disclosure of tonight relied Rose softly leaves him in the same position with reference to you as that in which I stood before your heart and your heart against me Rose urged her lover Harry said the young lady bursting the tears I wish I could and spare myself his pain and why inflicted on yourself said Harry, taking a hand think dear Rose, think what you've heard tonight and what I have heard what have I heard cried Rose, that sense of deep disgrace that worked upon my own father that he shunned all there we have said enough Harry we have said enough not yet, not yet said the young man detaining her as she rose my hopes, my wishes, prospects feeling, every thought in life it set my love for you of undergone change I offer you now no distinction among a bustling crowd no mingling with the world of malice and detraction where the blood is called into honest cheeks by ought but real disgrace and shame but a home dear it rose and those and those alone are all I have to offer what do you mean she's faltered I mean but this that when I left you last I left you with a firm determination a level of fancied barriers between yourself and me resolve that if my world could not be yours I would make yours mine that no pride of birth should curl the lip at you for I would turn from it this I have done those who have shrunk from me because of this have shrunk from you and proved you so far the right such power and patronage sub-relatives of influence and rank are smiled upon me then look coldly now but there are smiling fields and waning trees in England's richest continuity and by one village church mine rose my own there stands a rustic dwelling which you can make me proud rough and all the hopes I have renounced measure the thousand fold my rank at the station now and here I lay it down it isn't trying thing waiting supper for love is said Mr Grimwig waking up and pulling his Pocky Tang a chair for him over his head to the tell the supper had been waiting a most unregional time neither Mr Brayley nor Harry nor Rose who all came to get in together could offer a word in extenuation oh it's serious thulking my head tonight said Mr Grimwig I don't think I shall get nothing else I will take the liberty of your lab of saluting a bride that is to be Mr Grimwig more snow time and carrying this notice into effect upon the blushing girl the example being contiguous was followed both by the doctor and Mr Branner some people affirm that Harry Maley had been observed to set it originally in a dark room adjoining but the best authorities consider this downright scandal he being young and a clergyman oh never my child said Mr Bailey well if you've been why do you look so sad there are tears stealing down your face at this moment what is the matter it is a world it is appointment often the hopes be most cherished and hopes that to our nature that great is honour poor dick was dead end of chapter 51 of Oliver Twist chapter number 52 of Oliver Twist of Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Arthur Piantadosi chapter 52 Fagans last night alive the cult was paved from thrall to roof with human faces an inquisitive in eager eyes peered from every inch of space from the rail before the dock way into the sharpest angle the smallest corner of the galleries all looks were fixed upon one man Fagin before him in a blind above, below, on the right and on the left he seemed to stand surrounded by a firmament all bright with gleaming eyes he stood there in all this glare of living light one hand resting on the wooden slab before him the other held to his ear and his head thrust forward to enable him to catch with greater distinctness every word that fell from the presiding judge was delivering his charge to the jury at times he turned his eyes sharply upon them to observe the effect of the slightest featherweight in his favour and when the points against him were stated with terrible distinctness looked toward his console with new appeal that he would then erred something he's been at the heart beyond these manifested stations of anxiety he said not one hand or foot he scarcely moved since the trial began and now that the judge ceased to speak he still remained the same strained attitude of close attention with as gay as bent on him as though he lessened still a slight bustle in the court recalled him to himself looking round he sorted the jury man and turned together to consider their verdict as his eyes wandered the gallery he could see the people rising above each other to see his face so mostly applying their glasses to their eyes and others whispering their ebbers with look suspicious of abhorrence a few there were who seemed unmindful of him and looked only to the jury in patient wonder how they could delay but no one face not even among the women whom there were many there could he read the faintest sympathy with himself or any feeling but one of all absorbing interest that he should be condemned as he saw all this in one bewildered glance the deathlike stillness came again looking back he saw the jury man and turned toward the judge hush! they only sought permission to retire he looked wistfully into their faces one by one when they passed out as though to see which way the greater number lent the jailer touched him on the shoulder he moved the candidate at the end of the dock and sat down on the chair the man pointed it out or he would not have seen it he looked up into the gallery again some of the people were eating and some fanning themselves with the anchor chiefs well the crowded place was very hot there was one young man sketching his face in a little notebook he wondered whether it was like and looked on at the artist's broker's pencil point and made another with his knife as any idle spectator might have done in the same way when he turned his eyes towards the judge his mind began to busy itself with the fashion of his dress and what it cost and how he put it on there was an old fat gentleman on the bench too who had gone out some half an hour before and now come back he wondered within himself whether this man had been to get his dinner what he had had and where he had padded his train of careless thought until some new object caught his eye and roused another now that all this time his mind was, for an instant free from one impressive overwhelming sense of a grave that opened his feet it was ever present to him but in the vague and general way and he could not fix his thoughts upon it thus even while he trembled and turned burning hot at the idea of speed or death he failed accounting to the eye wondering out the head of one had been broken off and whether they would mind it or leave it as it was then he thought of all the horrors of the gallows and the scaffold and stuck to watch a man springing in the full hall to cool it then went on to think again at length there was a cry of silence and a breathless look from all towards the door the jury returned and passed him close he could glean nothing from their faces they might as well have been of stone perfect stillness enshroud not a rustle, not a breath guilty the building rang with a tremendous shout and another and another and then it echoed loud groans then gathered strength as they swirled out like angry thunder it was a peel of joy from the populace outside greeting the news that he would die on Monday the noise subsided and he was asked to hear anything to say why a sentence of death should not be passed upon him he'd resumed his listening attitude and looked intently at his questionnaire while the demand was made but it was twice repeated before he seemed to hear it and then he only muttered that he was an old man an old man and so drooping into a whisper was silent again the judge assumed the black cap and the prisoner still stood with the same air and gesture a woman in the gallery uttered some explanation called forth by this dread solemnity he looked hastily up as if angry at the interruption and then forward yet more attentively a dress was solemn and impressive the sentence fearful to hear but he stood like a marble figure without the notion of a nerve his haggard face was still thrust forward his under jaw dragging down and his eyes staring out before him when the jailer put his hand upon his arm and beckoned him away he gazed stupidly about him for an instant and obeyed they let him through a paved room under the call-out where some prisoners were waiting till their turns came and others were talking to their friends who crowded around a grate which rubbed into the open yard there was nobody there to speak to him but as he passed the prisoners fell back to render him more visible to the people who were clinging to the bars and they assailed him with abrobrious names and screeched and hissed he took his fist and would spat upon them but his conductors hurried him on through a gloomy passage lighted by a few dim lamps into the interior of the prison here he searched that he might not have about him meets of anticipating the law this ceremony performed they led him to one of the gendarm sales and left him there alone he sat down on the stone bench opposite the door which served for seat and bedstead and casting his bed-eared short eyes on the ground tried to collect his thoughts after a while he began to remember a few disjointed fragments of what the judges said though it seemed to him at the time that he could not hear a word he gradually fell into their proper places my degree suggested more so that in a few little time he had the whole almost as if it was delivered to be hung by the neck till he was dead that was the end to be hung by the neck as it came on very dark he began to think of all the men he had known who had died upon the scaffold some of them through his meetings they rose up in such quick succession that he could all lay count on he had seen some of them die and a joke too because they died with prayers upon their lips with water gradually noise that dropped went down and then suddenly they changed from strong and vigorous men to dangling heaps of clothes some of them might have inhabited sat upon their very spot it was very dark why didn't they bring a light the cell had been built for many years scores of men they might have passed their first hours there it was like sitting in a vault strewn with dead bodies the cap, the noose the pinioned arms the faces that he knew even beneath that hideous veil light, light it lengths when his hands were raw with beating against the heavy door and walls too many appeared one bearing a candle which he thrust into an iron candlestick fixed against the wall they had a dragging in a mattress on which to pass the night for the prisoner was to be left alone no more then came the night dark dismal silent night other watchers are glad to hear this church croak's strike for their tale of life and coming day to him they brought despair the boom of every iron bell came laden with the one deep hollow sound death what veiled the noise and bustle of cheerful mourning which penetrated even there to him it was another fall of knell with the mockery added to the warning the day passed off day there was no day it was gone as soon as it come and night came all again night so long and yet so short long in its dreadful silence and short in its freaking hours at one time he raved and blasphemed and no other howled and tore his hair venerable mend of his own persuasion had come the prey beside him but he had driven them away with curses there are no other charitable efforts and he beat them off Saturday night he had only one night more to live and as he thought of this the day broke Sunday it was not until the night of this last awful day that a dithering sense of his helpless desperate state came to its full intensity upon his lighted soul not that he had ever held any defined positive hope of mercy but that he never enabled to consider more than the dim probability of dying so soon he had spoken little to either of the two men who had left each other in their attendance upon him and they for their parts made no effort to resist his attention he had sat there awake but dreaming now he started up every minute with gasping mouth and burning skin to and fro in sucks of ruxism of fear and wrath that even there used to such nights recoils remaining with the horror he grew so terrible at last in all the tortures of his evil conscience that one man could not bear to sit there eyeing him alone and so the two kept watch together he carried down upon his stone bed and thought of the past he had been wounded with some missiles in the crowd on the day of his capture and his head was bandaged with a linen cloth his red hair hung down upon his bloodless face his beard was torn and twisted into knots his eyes shone with a terrible light his unmoved flesh crackled with the fever that burned him up eight nine then if it was not a trick to frighten him and those with the real hours tritting on each other's heels where would he be when they came round again eleven if all the voice of the previous hour was used to vibrate at eight he would be the only moor in his own funeral train at eleven there was dreadful walls of Newgate which have hidden so much misery and search and speakable anguish not only from the eyes but too often and too long from the thoughts of men never held so dreadispectiful as that the few who lingered in their past and wondered what the man was doing who was behind the morrow and he was unable to have seen him from early in the evening till nearly midnight two little groups of two and three presented themselves at the lodge gate and inquired with anxious faces whether any reprieve had been received these being answered in a negative communicated the real intelligence to clusters on the street who pointed out to one another the door from which he must come out and showed where the scaffold will be built and looking with unwilling steps away turned back to conjure up the scene they were off one by one and for an hour in the dead of night the street was left a solitude and darkness a space before the prison was cleared and a few strong barriers plainly black had been already been thrown across the road to break the pressure of the inspected crowd Mrs Brownner at Oliver appeared at the wicket and resented an order of emissions the prisoner signed by one of the sheriffs they were immediately admitted into the lodge is the young gentleman who comes too sir so the man who was duty it was to conduct them is no more sir even she will reign sir it is all indeed my friend who joined Mr Brownner but my business with this man is intimately connected with him and as this child has seen him in the full career of his excess and villainy I think it is well even at the cost of some pain and fear that he should see him now these few words had been set apart so as to be unoldable Oliver the man touched his hat and glancing at Oliver with some curiosity opened another gate opposite to that by which they had entered and lay them all through dark and winding ways towards the cells thus sir the man stopping in a gloomy passage where a couple of workmen were working some preparations in profound silence Mrs Brownner said I said this why you can see the door goes out they led them into a stone kitchen filled with coppers and pointed to a door there was an open grating above it through which came the sound of Ben's voices mingled with the noise of hammering and the throwing down of boards they were putting up the scaffold from this place they passed through several strong gates so opened by other turn keys from the inner side and having entered the open yard there were several steps and came to a passage with a row of strong doors on their hands motioning them to remain where they were the turnkey looked at one of these with a bunch of keys the two attendants after a little whispering came out into the passage stretching themselves as glad of the temporary relief and motioned the visitors to follow the jailer into the cell they did so the condemned criminal was seated on his bed rocking himself from side to side with countenance more like that forstared beast than the face of a man his mind was evidentially wandering into his own life for a continual mutter but that appearing conscious of their presence otherwise in his part of his vision good boy Charlie well done he mumbled Oliver too quite the gentleman now quite the poor way to bed the jailer took the disengaged hand of Oliver and whispering him not to be alarmed looked it on without speaking take him away to bed cried Fagin do hear me some of you he has beaten that somehow the cause of all this it's worth the money to bring him up to it bowls us through bill never mind the girl bowls us through to deep a jug and cut saw his head off so the jailer that's me! cried the tool falling instantly at the gratitude of listening as he had assumed on his trial an old man my lord a very old old man air said the turn key laying his hand upon his breast to keep him down it's a moment to see you to ask you some questions all suppose Fagin Fagin are you a man I shan't you want long he replied looking up with a face retaining no human expression but rage and terror strike them all dead what right have they to butcher me as he spoke he caught sight of Oliver and Mr Brando shrinking to the furthest corner of the seat he demanded to know what they wanted there study said the turn keys he'll load him down no sir tell him all you want quickly and please for it grows worse as the time goes on you'll have some papers said Mr Brando advancing which were placed in your hands for better security by a man called Monks it's all a lie together replied Fagin I haven't won not won for the love of God said Mr Brando solemnly do not say that now but tell me where they are you'll know it sites this dead that Monks had just confessed that there is no hope of any further gain where are those papers Oliver cried Fagin beckoning him yeah yeah let me whisper it to you I'm not afraid said Oliver in a low voice as he would lend questions to Mr Brando's hand papers said Fagin drawing Oliver tools him or in a canvas bag in a whole loaded way up the chimney of the top front room I want to talk to you my dear I want to talk to you yes yes it turned over let me say a prayer say one prayer say only one upon your knees with me and we will talk till morning outside outside replied Fagin pushing the boy before him towards the door looking vacant over his head said have gone to sleep they'll believe you who can get me out if you hate me so now then now then oh god forgive this wretched man cried the boy with a burst of tears that's right said Fagin that'll help us on they're still fullest by shake and treble if we pass the gallows don't you mind but hurry on no no oh you know what else to ask him sir into either turnkey no other question replied Mr Brownlee if I hoped we could recall him towards senseless position oh he will do that sir replied the man shaking his head you will believe him the door of the cell opened and their tendons returned press on press on right Fagin softly but not so slow faster faster the men laid hands upon him and disengaging Oliver from his grasp held him back he struggled with a power of desperation for an instant and then send up cry after an olden cry it penetrated even those massive walls and rang in their ears until they reached the open yard it was some time before they left the prison Oliver nearly swung after its frightful scene and was so weak that for an hour or more we had not the strength to walk day was dawning when the air again emerged a great multitude had already dissembled the windows were filled with people smoking and playing cards to the guy all the time the crowd were pushing quarrelling joking everything told of it like an animation but one dark cluster of objects in the centre of all the black stage the crossbeam, the rope and all the hideous apparatus of death end of chapter 52 of Oliver Twist chapter number 53 of Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Arthur Piantadosi chapter 53 and last the fortunes of those who have figured in his tale are nearly closed the little that remains of the historian is told in few and simple words a full three months had passed Rose Fleming and Harry Mealy were married in the village church which was henceforth to be the scene of the young clergyman's labours on the same day they entered in possession of their due and happy home Mrs Mealy took up her boat with her son and daughter-in-law to enjoy during the tranquil remainder of her days at its felicity at that age and worth can know the contemplation of the happiness of those on whom the barmest of fictions and generous cares of well-spent life have been unceasingly beset it appeared on full and careful investigation that if the wreck of property remaining in the custody of mugs which had never prospered either in his hands or in those of his mother were equally divided between himself and Oliver he would yield, teach little more than £3,000 by the provisions of his father's will Oliver would have been entitled to the whole but Mr Brownlow unwilling to deprive the eldest son of the opportunity for treating his former vices and pursuing an honest career proposed this mode of distribution to which she is uncharged joyfully exceeded mugs still bearing that assumed name retired with his portion a distant part of the new world where having quickly squandered it he once more fell into his old causes and after undergoing a long confinement for some fresh act of fraud and navery a link sunk under a new attack of his old disorder and died in prison as far from home died the chief remaining members of his friend Fegan's gang Mr Brownlow adopted Oliver as his son but moving with him he was a risk-keeper to within a mile where the personage his house but as dear friends resided he gratified the only remaining wish Oliver's warm and earnest heart and thus linked together a little society there was a conditional approach as nearly to one of perfect capitalists could ever be mowed in this changing world soon after the marriage of the young people the worthy doctor returned to Chertsey where bereft of the presence of his old friends he would have been discontented of such a feeling and would have turned quite peevish if had known how well two or three months he contented himself with hinting that if he had the air began to discreet with him then finding that the place really no longer was to him, or did it been he settled his business on his assistant took a bachelor's cottage outside the village of which his young friend was a pastor and instantaneously recovered here he took out the gardening and earning, fishing, carpentering here's other pursuits of a similar kind all undertaken with this characteristic impetuousity in each and all he has since become famous throughout the neighborhood as a most profound authority before his removal he had managed to contract a strong friendship of Mr Grimwig which that had centred gentlemen cordially approximated he has accordingly visited my Mr Grimwig a great many times in the course of the year on all such occasions Mr Grimwig and his fishers and carpenters with great ardour doing everything in a very singular and unprecedented manner but always maintaining with his favourite as a variation that his mode is the right one on Sundays he never fails to criticise a sermon to the young clergyman's face always informing Mr Lawsburn in strict confidence afterwards that he considers it an excellent performance but deems it as well not to say so it is a standing and very favourite joke for Mr Grimwig to rally him on his own prophecy concerning Oliver and to remind him of the night on which they start with the night while eating his return but Mr Grimwig contends that he was right in the main and in proof thereof marks at Oliver did not come back after all which always calls for the laugh on his side and increases his good humour Mr Naaklepo receiving a fury pardon from the crown and consequence of being admitted a prover against him considering his professional altogether a safer one as he could wish whilst for some little time at a loss for the means of a livelihood not burdened with too much work after some consideration he went into business as an informer in which calling he realises a genteel substance his plan is to walk out once a week during church time attended by a charlatan respectable attire elated things away at the doors of charitable publicance and the gentleman being accommodated three penny worth of brandy to restore her lays the information next there and help her get to have the penalty sometimes Mr Claypool faints himself but the result is the same Mr and Mrs Bumble deprived of his situations were gradually reduced to great indigents and misery and finally became paupers in that very same work house in which they had once lured it over others Mr Bumble has been heard to say that in this reverse and degration he has not even spirits to be thankful for being separated from his wife as to Mr Giles and Brittle they still remain in their old posts although the former is bald and last named boy are quite grey they sleep at the parsonage but divide their attention so equally among its intimates and all of them Mr Brownlow and Mr Lawsburn that to this day the villagers have never been able to discover what they properly belong Mr Charlie Bates a Paul by Sykes crime fell into a train of reflection whether an honest life was not after all the best arriving at the conclusion that it certainly was he turned his back upon the scene of the past resolved to amend it in some new sphere of action he struggled hard and suffered much for some time but having a contentious disposition and good purpose is exceeded in the end and from being a farmer's dredge and a carrier's land is now the merriest young Grazier all Northamptonshire and now the hand that traces these words falters as it approaches the conclusion of its task and would weave for of a little longer space the thread of these adventures I would faintly linger yet with a few of those among whom I have so long moved and share their happiness by endeavouring to a detected I would show Rose Maylay and all the bloom and great shedding on her excluded path in life, soft and gentle light that fell on all who trod it with her and shaw me into their hearts I would paint her the life and joy of the fireside circle and the summer group I would follow her through the sultry fields at dawn and hear the low tones of a sweet voice in the moonlight evening walk I would watch her in all her goodness and charity abroad and the smiling, untiring discharge of her mystical duties at home I would paint her in a dead sister's child happy in their love for one another and passing her hours together and picturing the friends whom they had so sadly lost I would summon before me once again those joyous little faces that clustered round their knee and listen to their metery prattle I would recall the tone of that clear laugh and conjure up the sympathising tear that glistened in the soft blue eye these and a thousand looks and smiles of thought and speech I would fame recall them every one Mr Brownler went on from day to day filling the mind of his updupted child with stores of knowledge and became attached to him more and more as his nature developed itself and showed the thriving seeds of all they wished to give him to become how he traced to me in him new traits of his early friend that awakened his own bosom old remembrances and soothing how the two orphans tried by adversity remembered its lessons in mercy to others neutral love and further than thanks to him who had protected and preserved them these are all matters which need not be told I have said that they are truly happy without strong affection and amenity of heart and gratitude to that being whose code is mercy and whose great attribute is benevolence to all things that breathe happiness can never be attained within the gelter of the old village church the sands of white marble tablet which bears as yet but one word agonist there is no coffin in that tomb and may it be many many years before another name is placed above it but if the spirits of the dead ever come back to earth to visit spots hallowed by the love a love beyond the grave of those whom they knew in life I believe that the shade agonist sometimes hovers round that solemn nook I believe it nonetheless because that nook is in a church and she was weak and airing the end of Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens


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Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Shane Gibson with Zero Stack. Just found out I've got a 10 minute block on a lightning talk here for a 40 minute presentation, so a slight snafu in scheduling. So I'm gonna try and jump straight into the meat of my presentation and skip a lot of the run-up. Some of the run-up is kind of boring in the first place anyways, just talking a little bit about availability metrics and some of the basics you would do in an organization in terms of determining your needs, analysis, and requirements and stuff. So let's skip all that boring stuff. Let's just get right into the technical depth of the presentation. I'm a cloud infrastructure architect at a company called Zero Stack. We do a private cloud solution with a bunch of hybrid cloud stuff layered on top of it. In the past I worked at Symantec as a cloud platform engineering team as an infrastructure architect doing very large scale cluster designs for OpenStack. Been around technology for a long time from mainframes that predated my existence by 20 years in the United States Marine Corps all the way through cloud infrastructure architects have a broad range of experience and expertise. Today's talk is on OpenStack control plane architectures in the various ways you can get the various types of high availability or non-high availability solutions that you might apply to an OpenStack infrastructure architecture. And there are four primary design patterns that we're gonna talk about today and those four primary design patterns are standalone, active, passive, redundant systems and a distributed system. So we're kind of jumping right into the middle of all this. We're gonna talk a little bit about the first design solution, which is a single system. And a lot of people when I say maybe a single server is a sufficient control plane platform solution for you and your architecture.  Were you on crack or something? No, the reality is Linux has proven for decades now that it is a very reliable platform and it's a very good platform that runs if it's well tended for years and years and years with zero downtime.  Now it doesn't mean there isn't redundancy you would bake into the hardware from dual power supplies, multiple NIC cards maybe RAID on the drive itself to redundancy in the storage subsystem. So you still have some redundancy baked into the hardware platform itself. You would also consider broader aspects like the power distribution in your data center making sure you have AB power from two clean sources, battery backup, all of those things would contribute to it. But ultimately it gives you a simple, easy to manage platform. And in a complex system like OpenStack, simplicity rules. One of the slides that we skipped over is a discussion from Kyle Kingsbury from the Jepson tests and Jepson articles. Have any of you heard of the Jepson tests? Anybody? Nobody? Okay, so go look it up please. So Kyle does a bunch of torture tests essentially on distributed systems and he writes very long comprehensive articles on how distributed systems break down and fail and why. And smart people take his test information and actually learn how to better architect their distributed systems. And we're talking about fundamental solutions that you might use, MongoDB, Cassandra, how core sync and pacemaker behave under duress, how a lot of these distributed quorum protocol solutions that we all rely on to be rock solid, how they all fail. And if it doesn't chill your blood on how some of your most favorite pieces of software can fail, I'm not sure what will chill your blood if you don't check out his solution. And I only bring that up as a warning because if you start architecting a distributed system for high availability you have to understand how things can fail and what can get you in trouble. Complex systems are, by very nature of the word complex, complex and they often break down. So consider a single solution, it's a very good solution, you can easily generate around 99.9 or better percent uptime that correlates less than four minutes of downtime a day, 14 minutes a week, something to that effect. One of the additional solutions that you can look at if you wanna scale up a little bit more, you want just a little bit more peace of mind is an active passive system. In an active passive system you essentially have one solution that is active at a time and you have another service that's actually a shadow service, what I call a shadow service that's running ready to take over. There are a number of protocols and solutions that enable you to run active passive. In some cases you have pretty much two patterns. You have an application that's capable of actually replicating its data and its information and its state on its own. And examples of that is something like MySQL. MySQL has active passive replication. So if you're looking for an active passive solution I encourage you to use the services inbuilt replication capabilities and mechanisms because they're designed to do that with its data most effectively and recover in a failure scenario. In some cases you have services that don't have the ability to replicate their own state or their own data and you have to do that via external mechanisms. You might use that something like a replicated data storage, DRBD is a distributed replicated block data daemon which allows you to do synchronous and asynchronous byte by byte replication of data underneath the hood of a service. So you can take one service, service A that's active and replicate all of its data and state and information to another service. Then you would use some orchestration over the top typically something like chorus sync, pacemaker, keep alive D, there's a number of solutions that would enable you to stone shoot the other node in the head which allows you to do a takeover or essentially a hostile takeover.  So sometimes you use the inbuilt mechanism of the service itself. Sometimes you need to provide that via external mechanisms. One of the other design patterns is a clustered solution. Now this is a generic discussion about clustered solutions. Clustered solutions typically have a mechanism by which they have a leader and followers. This is sort of a common terminology for that. So one leader is elected by all of the quorum to become the leader and he's responsible or she's responsible, let's not be sexist for orchestrating all of the services and who is the actual responsible for making decisions. Now an important thing in quorum based clustered solutions is you always want to operate on the principle of odd numbers. So remember in the real world, network partitions and other partition issues and events occur. If you have a network partition that partitions a four node cluster and you have two nodes and two nodes partitioned, none of them can form quorum and decide who can be a leader because two is not consensus in a cluster. So always remember odd numbers three, five, seven so you can ensure quorum if you have an even network partition event. And this is also when you start talking about solutions like this is where a lot of the Jepsen articles start coming into play. It's very important to understand how some of these solutions can break down and fail on you. And I'm not trying to scare you away from them again. You want to understand how all of those things will affect the service that you're trying to provide. One of the last solutions continuing on with, again my slides are all a little, not in the flow I'm expecting for 10 minutes here but one of the other things you can do is you can apply both virtualization or containerization as an orchestration mechanism by which you can manage the services in a distributed environment. And if you do that, there are a number of things you need to understand. You need to be able to, if you're doing virtualization you pretty much have to do the work yourself. You have to do something like Etsy D console serve some sort of distributed key pair consensus mechanism for doing state distribution in your model to be able to orchestrate who is Matt leader and who is follower and provide data amongst your cluster. And if you use a solution that's pre-baked like a containerized solution they're doing that for you but they're doing all of that heavy lifting for you. So we've all seen probably 652 presentations this week on Kubernetes and Helm and Kola and all of these other things to be able to do open stack on top of containerization. They're doing the heavy lifting in this solution. In the last and fourth model that we're gonna talk about today is a distributed service solution where you might actually distribute your control plane amongst your clusters. So one of the typical scenarios that you have in an open stack environment is you have some very dedicated control plane servers and those control plane servers are very important to you. I hopefully most of you understand that the pets versus cattle analogy. Your control plane servers end up being pets. You name them Fluffy and Fido and whatever. You care about them and it's very important to you that their health is solid and good.  Well that's not potentially a good idea or you have a small cluster you wanna do distributed scaling if you're using some additional tools to be able to do placement of your control plane services you might actually use something like a VM container that sits on Libvert underneath the open stack VM workloads. If that's the case, you wanna do some very important QoS mechanisms through namespaces and C groups to ensure performance, reliability and throughput requirements for your control plane solution. I have about 30 seconds here so we're not gonna talk about the detailed solutions. We have, oh we gotta see this one is my favorite slide. Early Clint shooting the other node in the head, okay. All right, I just had to get that one in there. This whole presentation is posted on SlideShare.net. Look, just search for the presentation title you can get the whole entire presentation. My email address is there, has all of the other additional information or surrounding it related to this presentation. You have any questions about all the information that's in there, let me know. There's my 40 minute presentation in 10 minutes. Thank you very much, everybody. If there are any questions, I'll take them offline over here on this side.


On Think Tech on Spectrum OC 16, I'm your host, RV Kelly, and today I'm here with very special guest, Katie Flaschner. Katie, we're going to have you come up on screen here, but just before we get started, Katie, could you explain a little bit more about what you do? For having me on the show, by the way, RV, I am a ballroom dancer and blogger, and I am known. My alter ego is the girl with the tree tattoo. So basically I dance and I write about my experiences, the good, the bad and the awkward as I go through my ballroom dance journey. Interesting. So ballroom dancing, is that something you just do yourself or do you also teach other people how to ballroom dance as well? I don't teach at the moment as a future goal. I'm actually still a student. I'm a competitive dancer, but I compete in a circuit that's called Pro Am for professional amateur. And so I'm the amateur half of my dance partnership and the other half is actually my teachers. Oh, wow. So it seems like something kind of a little bit out there to be a professional or amateur dancer where you're competing. This is what you do. That seems like a really unique career path. How did you get started? Well, it's actually my first exposure to ballroom dancing was for my wedding back in 2011. My fiancee, this is Hyman, I took just a handful of dance lessons. We were doing a 1920s themed wedding and we didn't want to do a choreographed first dance, but we wanted to be able to, you know, hold our own on the dance floor, learn some 1920 swing dances, things like that. And I was hooked immediately in the ballroom world. If you talk to students, a lot of people describe being bit by the ballroom bug and it's a very real thing. You get just the hard to describe the emotions, the extreme positivity that you feel as you learn to move your body in time with music and with another person connecting with that other person is really incredible. And it's definitely addicting, but just the question about the career path, I'm actually still working at the job full time. I'm a technical editor with an environmental consulting firm. So that I do on during the day and then nice and weekends, I'm ballroom dancing and I'm blogging, but the dancing and writing are really my passion. I've always loved dance and creative writing and the two of them emerged in this beautiful way when I was exposed to the ballroom world. So so tell me about your journey as a ballroom dancer. What did you have to go through? What did you learn about yourself? Oh, goodness, I didn't have to show us that long. But let's see. I started taking private lessons more regularly at the end of 2012. And usually when people start for certain lessons as an adult, they just you just want to learn to dance socially. You can go to parties and be able to actually dance, you know, songs that are played. And then the next level up is a lot of dance videos. We'll hold hold showcases, which are basically like dance recitals. You learn a specific choreographed dance to a specific song. You get to, you know, get messed up in a fun costume and you get on on a stage in a theater and perform for all your family and friends. And that was the route I went because I've always. Since I was a little girl, love dance and whenever I would watch a live performance, I would literally end up on the edge of my feet because I would just be drawn in. Like I was physically being pulled toward the dancers and that movement and the emotion that was expressed through the movement. It was just beautiful, but I was very shy and reserved as a child. And so I never got into I took some ballet, jazz, pop classes when I was maybe six or seven years old. But then I just got the fear got to be too great. I couldn't I couldn't push past the fear. I was too shy. I didn't I ended up stopping the classes and it's always been have a regret of mine that I let the fear of performing in front of people and being vulnerable in that way. I was kind of regretted, you know, letting that hold me back. And so when I found out that you could perform and as a ballroom dancer on stage, I was like, OK, this is my chance. This is my chance to have redeem myself and fix this one major life regret that I've been carrying around. And it was magical. It was terrifying, absolutely terrifying, but but it was magical. And after that, it's sort of snowballed. I learned that ballroom competitions were a thing. And after my first going to witness my first competition, that was finally my niche. That was like, OK, this is it. This is where this is the part of the ballroom world that I really want to be a part of. And it pushes me every single day. You know, you first go to the studio thinking you're just going to learn some dance steps. But you end up being confronted with fears and self doubt that you've been carrying around that you didn't even realize were there. And so you push yourself to connect with another person, connect with the audience, connect with them, the music and connect with your own body. It was really surprising to me how much of a mental and emotional journey this was as much of as much as it was learning physical movement. That's a really impressive journey that you've been on, Katie. And I'm wondering if you if you ever look at people around you who who haven't been bitten by the dance bug or who are still, you know, new to, they've never even tried ballroom dance. And you think, oh my gosh, your life would be so much better if you just learned to dance. Oh, plenty of people I have met where they learn that I'm a ballroom dancer. And that's one of the first things that come out of my mouth. Oh, I've always wanted to try that. I've always wanted to try dance. But there's always some excuse. I don't have any rhythm or, you know, I'm just too shy or I wouldn't be any good or I'm too old or too whatever. There's always some kind of an excuse. And every time like it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it's too old or too short or too tall or too whatever. It doesn't matter. Everybody has a rhythm inside them that you can connect with and you can dance. And it really, I think that's the biggest part of it that can be transformative is connecting with that dancer inside yourself that you don't necessarily even realize is there. And from a human perspective, every culture you look at has some type of dance. Even going back hundreds, thousands of years, there are always dances. And ballroom dancing in particular that kind of held a really cool and a really long run.   I'm going to go in and foxtrot. It's you don't get a real chance to do that anymore. And so I remember in my senior year, I finally, finally mustard my courage and took a social dance class. And I had so much fun. I mean, I learned to waltz, I learned to foxtrot, I learned to tango. And like you said, there's so many different things that you feel and you experience. And for me, it was just that one semester. And so I've never danced since, but being able to be twirled around the floor by an attractive partner, being able to be coordinated and graceful for the first time in my life, it was so powerful for me.   But he never got the chance to try it in school. So for him, it's still like you said, this big scary thing where he doesn't want to try it. So I'm, I'm always hopeful that someday we'll, we'll make it out and we'll go dancing. I hope you guys do. It's not uncommon. It's not uncommon at all for, especially men for some reason to really hesitate at starting ballroom lessons.  And I don't know. I think that's a little more difficult for guys to push themselves to view. But actually once, once guys, you get started dancing, they, really, they stick with it longer as they'll, they'll advance faster. Once they get into the groove and you know, learn, you know, learn themselves that, okay, yeah, like I can, I can do this and this is pretty cool. Then it's, it's motivating for them. So I hope you can convince your, your husband to at least try. Just try one. Yeah, me too. See how it goes. Yeah. Well, and I think it's so funny because when I talk to women, they are always like, oh my gosh, I wish I could learn. I've always wanted to learn and men who can dance are so attractive.  So I'm not really sure what's going on there. They pick up the message and I've, I've said that to, I don't know how many men that I've met who scoff at the idea or like, oh no, that's first, you know, that's first 50 years or, or what have you, like, no, you don't understand. Women love men who can dance. Like if you're looking for, for a date, learn how to dance and then go show off those groups. You will have women lining up. No problem. And that's absolutely true. I think when I, when I, we say this to men, I think they think we're exaggerating. We're really not.  And, and really in dance, I don't know how it is at higher levels, Katie, but for beginning levels where I was at in dance, like the men had the easiest part. Their job was just to kind of like take a couple of steps and like troll the woman around and make her look pretty. So it was really easy for them to do, but they had so much fun and we had so much fun. Even when you are just doing the basic steps, you know, just, just starting out, that's the other great thing about ballroom dance versus some of the other dance genres in ballet or tap is you can go and take one lesson and you can learn how to dance. You can learn the basic box and then you're, you're dancing with a live lesson. I think that's, that's something that's so cool and makes it so much fun, even when you're first starting out. I love that. Katie, you have been such a delight to have on so far and viewers, we're not going away. We're just taking a very quick one minute break and then when we get back, we'll start talking about dancing with dragons and how you can start. I'm going to the game and it's going to be great. Early arriving for a little tailgate. I usually drink but won't be drinking today because I'm the designated driver and that's okay. It's nice to be the guy that keeps his friends in line, keeps them from drinking too much so we can have a great time. A little responsibility can go a long way because it's all about having fun on game day. Let's go. I'm Ethan Allen, your host on Pacific Partnerships in Education here on Think Tech Hawaii. Every other week, Tuesdays at 3 p.m., we have guests on and talk about the fascinating, interesting and unique partnerships in education that occur across the Pacific Islands with Hawaii, Micronesia, the Marshall Islands, Palau, Guam, all these places have really rich local education programs going on and the exchange among and between these programs is a wealth of great information helping the islands all learn how to survive and thrive in our ever-changing world. I hope you'll join us on Pacific Partnerships in Education. Hello viewers, welcome back to Out of the Comfort Zone on Think Tech on Spectrum OC16. I'm your host, Arby Kelly, and here with me today is ballroom dancing expert, Katie Flashner.  For sure, yeah.  It really, for me personally, I deal with anxiety, like I mentioned before the break, I was very shy as a child and it's kind of developed into some anxiety as an adult.  So, and it's, there's been, there's definitely been moments where I've literally pushed myself to my limit for this passion because at that limit is when the anxiety gets triggered and I've had to run to the bathroom during a dance lesson because I was going to start hyperventilating because just even practicing, for me, the bigger triggers were practicing the emotional expression. You watch dancing with the stars, you know, you see the pros of, you know, such expression and I feel a little more comfortable doing it now but when I, especially when I was first getting into the serious training for competition, it was very difficult for me to even practice that because I'm introverted, I'm shy, my emotions don't show on my face but naturally. So even to smile big, I have to think about it and tell myself, smile big. So it's incredible but I've come up with this mantra of do it scared and that's guided me through and helped me continue to advance up in the levels in competition and become a better performer.  It's how them, okay, you can just sit there, you're going to be okay, we're going to do this anyways.  So ballroom, you work hard and you see the results almost instantly. Competition, you know, the placements, there's a lot of other variables besides this year hard work but just for yourself as a dancer, every time I set out to, okay, I'm going to work on this specific aspect of my dancing and I see the results. I feel the results. My teacher, when he dances with me, tells me he can feel the results and our partnering and in our connection and it's so motivating and it inspires me to just keep pushing myself even as I have those demons in the back of my head, those screaming, those biting their nails like, no, I don't think we should do this, like, no, remember? Remember the last time we just did it even though we were scared? Look how great it turned out. Let's do that again. We can do that again.  Just growing the blog and the girl with the tree tattoo brand, I would never have gotten to where I am today with those proceeds in my life if I didn't just do it scared. There's just no way because you're never going to feel completely ready. At least for me, I always feel that fear. Those demons are always in the back of my head but it doesn't matter. I just push forward anyways and hopefully, reap the reward. That is so true, Katie. And as you were talking, I was even thinking of times in my life where I've been like, no, I'm not ready for this and so there's something I need to do for my business or for my relationship or something. But I'm so scared of it that I just like, no, I'll get to it later. I'll get to it later and I put it off and I put it off and I put it off until finally I'm forced to do it and then I get, I do it scared and then I get on the other side and I'm like, huh, that was easy. And you build it up in your mind and it's so much bigger and scarier than it is. Is that how it is with us? Yeah, we really, absolutely, we really can, we can really mess with ourselves. Like, our brains are so powerful.  But in reality, if we just took a step past whatever was causing us with fear, it's like, oh, that's a big of a deal. And it's definitely been that way in dance with the, you know, as I practice my expression, like I was saying, or there were certain, certain dances that would give me more trouble because it just, the movement made me more uncomfortable. Tango was, was a problem dance for me because it has this real, like, low movement and then fast. And just that switch, like I couldn't, it was so scary to me, like I could do this slow, no problem, but harnessing the intensity was, was difficult for me. You know, I felt like I was drawing too much attention to myself, even though that's what I'm supposed to do. And then that transition from the flow to the quick movement in Tango, that sharpness that Tango has, that was, that was difficult. I had to really push myself. But now, it's, you know, I love it. Tango is one of my favorite dances now. So it's just, yeah, it's just pushing a little bit, you know, to keep pushing at it.  Like, okay, like you're not, you don't have to get it perfect right now, but just take one more step toward it. Just give it one more try.  I think that's so cool. But I know a lot of our viewers are still going to be like, I'm not sure about this whole ballroom dancing thing. So what advice would you have for people who are just starting out and maybe need a little help? If there's a dance studio or I don't know, you know, where to go, me personally, I went on Groupon and found a studio that had a deal and that's where I started. But if you want a better idea of what to expect, viewers can actually go to my blog, TheGirlsOfTreeCats2.com, and there's a page there called Dance Diaries. And I wrote just a short little e-book on learning ballroom dance. And it basically covered everything that I wish I had known having the first year of my dancing. I wish I had known before I started just as a little better prepared. That would definitely give people have a leg up, a little advantage if they wanted to start searching around for dance lessons or other opportunities to dance. So it sounds like you've got a free e-book with all the things you wish you'd known when you first started out. And our viewers can find it at TheGirlWithTheTreeCats2.com. Yes. Well, it's not free. It's like $5. But you can find it at my website. All right, so we can find it at your website. And so gentlemen, if there are any men watching this, this may be something you want to read for yourself or send to your wife because my birthday is coming up. And this is what I want from my husband.  So all of you, if you want to strengthen your relationship, break through some of your barriers or even just have more fun with your partner, then you should definitely go to TheGirlWithTheTreeCats2.com and find that book. But Katie, is there, where are you going in the next few years? What should we be expecting to see from you? Back to seeing me on the dance floor a lot more. I'm actually going to a competition in New Orleans in a couple weeks. And then there'll definitely be a few more on the calendar. And then just in the digital landscape, I plan on growing the blog and TheGirlWithTheTreeCats2 brand a whole lot more. My mission in general is to really inspire and enable other people who are pursuing bar and dance either as a hobby or a passion or an obsession. I really want to be able to inspire and enable those people to become fit and joyful ballroom dancers. Because that's what's inside of us all, that confident and joyful being. And it just takes a little step to do it scared and then do it scared again. And you can find it. You can connect with that dancer inside you. So definitely be on the lookout for inspiration from TheGirlWithTheTreeCats2. And I'm curious, Katie, are we ever going to see you on the big screen TV, like dancing with the stars or American Idol or something like that? Happy to talk. Since the future will bring, I really, I just whatever opportunities come up for me in bar and dance, I'm going to stay open to them because this journey has been incredible so far. I've learned so much about myself. I've grown as a person. I've done things I never thought I'd be able to do. And I've just learned that I'm actually capable of doing all those things I never thought I could do. So for me, I feel like the possibilities in the future are have very little, very few limits. I'm happy to hear that, Katie. Thank you so much for coming onto the show. I really appreciate your time. And I wish you the best of luck in the future. Thank you so much, Arv you. Thank you for having me. My pleasure. And viewers, if you stay tuned, you will see us next week at 1pm on Out of the Comfort Zone.  See you then.


What they gon' do with me now, I'm still a twerk of the town Tell me the sisters, I'm hoakin' them down Thank you so much for tuning in to Talk of the Town and today we got a very special guest on the show Spli-vabi Yes sir, the one and only Yes sirski Alright, so we're gonna start off with a little game of rapid-fire questions just a little something to break the ice So the first one is, which rapper would you not let date your daughter? Trace Longs Okay, who is your celebrity crush? Violet Mars Okay, who's her? Come on bro, you don't know Violet Mars? Yeah, yeah I do You don't even know who that is Absolutely That's a corn star right there Nah, I don't know if I'm that deep down the rabbit hole actually I gotta get the tuna It's not a rabbit hole, it's an ice break What is, in your opinion, the worst song ever?  That's really a good question My heart is beating, I don't know what song I like a lot of songs, I don't listen to bad songs You know what, I would skip that question respectfully Nah, you good I don't know Nah, it's good because the next one is actually, what is the best song? Oh, the best song? Yeah Oh, Jessica Agbat How do you pronounce it, Jessica? Yeah, Jessica Okay, because this whole time I've been saying Jessica Yeah, you could say Jessica too But I just recently changed it, I put Agbat on it So now you could just say Agbat Okay, Agbat, that's been good for him Who is your favorite artist outside of hip-hop? Outside of hip-hop? Damn, I guess you could say like, like Homeshake Okay I like Homeshake Yeah?  CM, CM Coffee Shop Yeah? Yeah, I ain't gonna lie, because every time me and A go there to eat In the morning after the stew, it just feels like we're in a movie Like, it feels like love in there, feel me?  Yeah, you can sit there, they only open from like six to like one or something Only breakfast is fire though, feel me? So, that's the best thing about Bushwick right now is that spot Shout out CM Coffee Shop What is your favorite app on your phone?   M.A. What's that?  Act bad? Act bad, act up, I'm from the tipsy There we go What's the last song you listened to?  Oh, Telly's L.E.T Who's that? Telly's L.E.   No one shot a better video in Bushwick since with you for me thanks to no one did that But I put that on my back for me Yeah, I think that one thing I really like about you is that you take like any opportunity You can't like really put your hood on but as well as like, you know your people, you know That's why I named the song week for me I couldn't name that I don't like you but I named it with because it was like I'm gonna shoot this in Bushwick I'm gonna shoot it at the spots people know about and I'm gonna show them like look I'm gonna bring the West the West Coast so I should culture over here with the low riders and showing them like this is over here too For me. It's not just over there.   All right, so that wraps up rapid-fire questions. So let's get into it. So spliff. How did I'm um, How did how did your musical journey start? In the crib, okay off Laptop on laptop with Ableton and the USB mic in 2018 for my first song out and So I was started really did you did you produce a lot of your own stuff initially?  It's crazy because it sounds nothing like Jessica So what is them? What's it been like, you know being on that on that journey and evolving your sound like pretty much like almost every time you draw I want to say It's been a it's been a like how ages that I was on uphill battle since the beginning just every day kind of on Deciding if I'm gonna really take this thing serious or not and Just go through my flows, bro, like mad different little tones mad different little flows trying to figure out where it was me what was my sound so It's tough, but every artist out there just know it's every day. It's a constant battle, but you don't get nothing worth living if you don't Fight for it. You feel me every day and put your soul into this shit So I'm here because of that, you know, just put my soul work my heart Yeah My earliest song that hardly so that you talked about in the beginning of the question That song sounds nothing like what I'm putting out now because at that time it was a Different energy that I was at a different state of mind.   It's more of a EDM Jersey sound It's not a dark Jersey s dot B.   That's a hot that should just sound hot be spitting your How I'm uh, what made you want to step into that territory because like you gradually got into it more and more as your releases Went on but I feel like now you're like really like deep entrenched into it Yeah, oh deep cuz I feel like now I see where I want to go I mean the beginning it was still Experiment in my first year of just making music was still just experiment and like I ran into the Jersey Club shit Cuz I was always on YouTube. Mm-hmm. I met a Through just booking a studio from there.  Mm-hmm. That's exactly what we doing. Okay, so How did Jessica come about What was the creative process like behind that's right? That's a good shot every time you say Jessica. Oh word.  Mm-hmm. It was B. Jax birthday party I'm not just filming She was drinking honey. I Was standing on the couch. I asked for a shot.  I couldn't I can't complain.   She kept saying act bad act bad act bad So I literally was like y'all want to put that in the song Next morning, right?  He's like, yo, I got this sample on my I thought I heard in the club He pulls it up. It's the push me Yeah, loads it up cuts the beat in an hour. I hop on it start over act bad act up We start the chorus out then we do the verse It was rest was history from there all because of me me and her and just riding that energy of like just like just being like so like non-caring just like really being this this This ball of energy that just infectious to everybody like even to me Yeah for me, so I Named it after her that that when we finished the song. I said, yo, this is what I'm gonna call it just because Yeah, that's how just goes me just from her I think I'm It's crazy because when I first listened to it I was surprised by like by the sample because it's such like a commonly known sample, you know Like I think I've heard it out mad mad DJ sets and I had never heard anybody spin it like that, you know So I thought that was really interesting shout out a turn me up. What do you think the what does the reception been like? You know, I look good, bro.  I'm only put it out My love for me because at the end of the day It's a fun ass song like it starts off saying Like bad act up like it's just like a one of those songs you put on when like you getting drunk One of those songs you just probably want to say it like it's like I don't know if it feels so good and then the way this nigga made the beat and mixed it and just made it sound just like this Feels like one of those song that's already on the billboard So the reception's been really good and it's only gonna keep getting higher because as I keep pushing myself and growing myself That's home grows and you know saying everything else just follows who's behind it, you know Yeah, not most definitely I feel like this song is really infectious, you know, and now like I feel like that speaks so much to the Like EDM sample that you guys use because like it's such a such an accessible genre, you know So many people from so many different walks of life really like unite under EDM So I feel like that was the perfect sample to use to really like make your song more accessible as well Thanks, bro watch the year from now Wherever just know that me a gonna be at this crazy European EDM festival and one DJ is gonna be like, yo I'm gonna bring you out if I be pulled up 80,000 we don't even if it's just Jessica and Yachty that people from crazy because those samples are crazy and the way we came on them Yeah, what I'm What we're on the topic of songs What do you think is like what a like your most underrated song or one that doesn't get enough love? Yeah, you're right. It's spicy spicy. Yeah, that song That's on me and a wanted to pour almond milk on so these buds, but we couldn't do it I Was scared it was young at the time.  Just cause a scene, but Yeah, most underrated song was spicy man, but I split back you smart smart shit It's something that I feel like I've noticed about you from your music and also just like watching your other interviews is that like you've Got a lot of motivation like I was watching I was watching your on-the-radar interview And I was hearing the story of how you put together. I think it was the audio music video. Yeah, and I feel like You're one of those people who like if you have your mind set to it.    I just thought about them and as corny as I say it's like That's really just what gave me that motivation to make anything happen. I'm like It's no just no you're not telling me I can't make it happen right now They like I'm not about to sit there and cross the border for a whole month walking or this extra I'm not you know, I'm saying like I didn't go through that They just did that for me to be here and I'm out to say and tell myself. I can't do something. Are you dumb? I can't do it Never that I could do it You feel me? That's why I said makes I can't so you know that I can for me I could do it Yeah, that's that motivation for me if you don't got parents for that then you find your own motivation There's life always throwing you shit to pull fuel to your fire So figure it out find it out for me put some fire in your body to move Get to it. Yeah make it happen when you got nothing there because you always got something Yeah, honestly, thank you for sharing that because like that's that's real I feel like not a lot of people have especially like if they're not in the Latino community Like they don't really know those kinds of stories You know like this shit that people really go through just to come here to America You know to have that chance for their offspring and even for themselves.  I gotta stay calm Keep working keep my pace. Don't you know, I'm saying it's not a it's not a race. It's a marathon for me. So just Well, for me if you gotta take a Breathe to take a breather for me. It's not a race You don't gotta be first place with a tongue for me. No, that's the fact I feel like a lot of people get so caught up in social media in that whole aspect of like keeping up with the Joneses, you know and like it's it's you know Social media is it's like a highlight reel if you will, you know Cuz like not everybody is gonna go ahead and air out their dirty laundry or show you how they're really feeling You know, it's like it's what people want to see and because that's like so much of what it is I feel like a lot of people kind of just get lost in that, you know Oh do the yeah, man. What's it called? So You found this pocket this like EDM wrap pocket. How do you plan on expanding more of that going forward? Tough question. Good question. Tough question.  We got the Me and Abe been cooking up on every day, but any chance we gotta be cooking up So to expand it really just put it out and then oh, yeah, like I tell this nigga That's on the mix tape once we put the mix tape out to is like coin in it You know I'm saying I texted William Foster the guy that broke Beyonce the song we're hurry I texted him I told him I say oh look this gonna be the new shit I'm saying I said it when I came with Jersey Club in the beginning.  They don't hear it for me And they don't hear it for me to hear from someone else cuz it all starts with producers then artists Bro, there's already producers trying to do what me and a doing bro.  What is it more like EDM rave Jersey Club? Yeah I feel like it's such a really smart pocket for you guys to get into because right now like Jersey Club is exploding as it should You know, it's like it's a nice vibey bouncy sound and it's really easy to get into it You know, but I feel like a lot of dudes, especially when they're using it for like that drill basis kind of just doesn't like Hit the same way, you know, like it gets tiresome really quickly What I'm uh, so do you plan on like keeping on that Jersey Club route or like at least like variations of it as you go forward It all she's not broke.  So Four months farmers.  Who knows anything anything happen. I'm saying well me and a do is not like oh Yeah, like no, but we create so at the end of the day, whatever we create we feel like Don't put this out. Don't put this out. I mean, it's like yeah, we're gonna make mass room. Yeah But it's the way we present them. It's the way we sell them how we how we put them out Yeah, that execution I'm saying yeah, that's it Excuse me Um, what's it called? So you have a mix tape that you're you're working on currently. Yeah, okay mix tape working on I'm executive produced by a turn me up for me I'm right there in the scene with it. You know, I'm saying I'm always there Um That should be coming out soon, right? Coming out very soon because by the time this interview come out skip it a few that mix tape Basically done already. Yeah Just a lot of a lot of behind the scenes since we want to make sure we get right so No, I feel that let me guess out Are there any like coming futures? Yeah, yeah cash go beam. I would just start saying it now because It's my heart.  I mean shout out cash Tap me on the club while we use that gay piece birthday party Yo, I want to hop on this All right, say that don't play with me. I'm gonna send you to over send that DM the ocean mouth Send it two hours later Yo first song I ever sent this man I'm and I known cash for like a whole year, but I told him too. I was like I was just never the man to overstep Feel me. I was never the artist to be like, yeah, because we knew each other. Yo, I'm with cash Yo, bro, I don't do that. I put love. Yo was good. Uh-uh Fummy chill smoker blunders.  I go back down and do my own thing Femme to keep it like that for my long never. Yo, bro. We got a guess on it.   You know what I mean? I mean look man I play ball too.     Yeah, everybody gonna get minutes. Everybody gonna get you know what I'm saying? Everybody gonna get a touch. Just chill, bro. Keep working. Keep training next pickup game You're gonna get it. If not the next one, just keep training. So when you do get that you prepare You've been taking your shots already Just like what I did. I've been taking my shots already by the time I got that cast region I was ready for that Femme Head up Yeah, and then it's like You you might not have been ready. So it's like now. It's like that timing is perfect, right? Devon Thomas. I don't Kirk Knight.  Let's play another game This is called the last game So it's just like the last time you did xyz. Oh, right So what's the last movie you watched? Uh You know, I just be playing old movies Suits. Yeah, it's not a movie.   I don't know skip the question, bro.   He uh called ball made paris. Okay Mexican kid from uh west coast Go to in texas. My mom is staking Femi pardon, but I just tapped in with him on some like really listen.  I'm definitely gonna tap in Excuse me. Uh, what's the last thing you ate? What was it? What was it?  Um dreams. Hmm last concert you went to I just want to Where do we just go? Hey, we went to publics, and we Who's in a concert though? I guess the last concert could be a Matthew Matthew Ali his concert Matthew Ali Well, what is the last time you recorded a song? Last night, okay When is the uh, what's the last album you listened to in full? Uh, jaco sondland story. Okay best album Damn, that's a throwback. Right that is a throwback. I gotta I got a song with a sample from From the sideline story in the interlude.  If y'all ever get a chance listen to that That pushes me to a lot to keep going. Damn shout out jaco. Thanks. What is uh, when's the last time you smoke? Like 30 minutes ago This is literally right downstairs. I was like, I'm not going up there without smoking first. I'm like I was smoking 30 minutes ago And last one is when's the last time your opinion changed?  I was down with 10 of cars. I'm like, yo, hey, I'm like, yeah, this sounds Gucci That's so good. I just need a mix like you know me yesterday.   Um, okay. Yeah, that's that's the last of the last game So we talked a little bit about the uh, the mix tape that you guys have coming Um, what else do we have to look forward to towards the end of the year? Any uh, split happy features coming up or the you're aware of any well Any split happy feeling I was What if I like about 15?  It's a deal. Yeah I mean money good deal. So about like 12 12 13 They're gonna put it out.   I'm trapped We're running that back real quick B. Jax Oh, we had B. Jax on the show recently.  I'm so lost, bro Because he actually I immediately when he said features. I'm thinking about What am I this is? This is about to be Now you're good bro. Shout out B. Jax. But yeah, B. Jax.  Oh, okay That's my god.  Wow. So do you guys have like a song out now together? No, you don't right?  I could see happening That would be pretty good It's gonna be crazy though. He's on a lot of songs that I got coming up though for show So everybody just be on the lookout for that All right, but um Spliff, thank you so much. We appreciate you for coming by. Why don't you uh, tell people where they could find you All right, now you got me there now But now games little you can find me in butchers forever. I'll be walking out. Nicobaca Wilson central all the time Tell me I get love there, but you can find me on instagram to spliff happy twitter spliff happy one word All of anything you look up just look up spliff happy. No one got that name. So Yeah, it's very much it.  Hold on. Hey, am I missing something? Not right I got checking with a for me executive producers That's my guy right there All right, spliff once again. Thank you so much. We appreciate you man. Thank you brother. No cap I Know a solid there we go. I don't want to feel left out my bad. Uh, thank you so much for tuning in everybody and we'll see you next time