CHAPTER 43 A MAY AFTERNOON What is this love that now on angel wing sweeps us amid the stars in passionate calm? McDonald. Elizabeth stood on the terrace in the sweet stillness of a May afternoon. She had been gathering flowers for the dinner table and drawing-room. Masses of white and mauve lilac. Long golden trails of laburnum. Dainty, pink and white mayblossoms. But though the gulder roses almost dropped into her hand, she passed them by untouched and with averted eyes. All her life they had been her special favorites. But now they recalled too vividly a painful episode. The day when Malcolm Herrick so sternly and so sorrowfully refused her his friendship. Malcolm had been nearly twenty-four hours at the woodhouse, and she had hardly exchanged a dozen words with him. And already he had signified his intentions of returning to town the next morning, in spite of Cedric's vehement protestations. He had arrived so late the previous evening that he had had only time for a hasty greeting before he went to his room to prepare for dinner. During the evening the young couple had naturally engrossed his attention. A harder-hearted man than Malcolm would have been touched by Anna's innocent happiness and her shy pride in her handsome young lover. Does she not look lovely? Elizabeth had said to him in a low voice, as they were all gathered on the terrace after dinner. And indeed the girl looked very fair and sweet in her white silk dress, with a row of pearls clasped round her soft throat. You are right, and I never thought Anna really pretty, he returned in a cool critical tone. Happiness is generally a beautifier, and my little girl certainly looks her best tonight. And then he went after them, and Elizabeth saw that Anna was hanging on his arm as they went down the steps, and that Cedric's hand was on his shoulder. How happy they are! she thought a little enviously. They are both devoted to him, and he certainly returns their affection. He is good and kind to every one but me. She continued resentfully. If Diner had said that, he would not have answered her so curtly, and then turned on his heel and left her. Here Elizabeth willfully ignored the fact that Cedric had signalled to him somewhat impatiently. I believe that he has made of vow not to speak to me if he can help it. Elizabeth was in a restless, irritable frame of mind that prevented her from taking a reasonable view of things. If she had been less alive to her own embarrassment and discomfort, she would have discovered for herself that Malcolm was ill at ease too. If he had not talked much to her, he had watched her closely, and it had troubled and pained him to see how thin and worn she looked. In the strong light he had even noticed a faint tinge of grey in her bright brown hair. She is pitiless to herself as well as to me, he said to himself bitterly. If she goes on like this she will be an old woman before her time. Her life is too limited. It suits Diner, but it does not suit Elizabeth. Why should she spend her time teaching village children and fagging after that old man? For Malcolm was growing hopeless and embittered. The evening had not been productive of much comfort to either of them. A sense of widening estrangement, of ever-deepening misunderstanding, kept them apart. When Elizabeth went to the piano, for she had been induced to resume her singing, Malcolm did not follow her. Neither did she sing one of his favourite songs, even when Diner innocently recalled one that she remembered he loved, and begged her sister to sing it. Elizabeth obstinately refused. Oh, that old sing! she said contemptuously. I'm so tired of it! But Malcolm was quite aware of her reason for refusing. She would make no effort to please him, for fear he should be encouraged to repeat his offence. The next morning things were no better. Cedric had asked Malcolm to walk with them to the valley. It was a glorious morning—bright and fresh and sweet. Just the day for a prowl, as Cedric said. You will come too, Betty, he continued. But to every one's surprise Elizabeth demurred to this. She was very sorry, she stammered, but she had promised to go to Rotherwood. Why? We are all going there after luncheon, exclaimed Cedric. Herrick wants to call at the vicarage, so he can leave him there, and you can go on to Rowan Cottage. But again Elizabeth hesitated. It was a great pity, she returned hurriedly, but Mr. Carlyon and Theo were going to Earlsfield in the afternoon, and she wanted to see Theo particularly about the new schoolbooks that they were to order at Thornton's. Theo makes such mistakes, she went on. The last batch was all wrong and had to be sent back. And though Cedric argued with her, and Anna put in a persuasive word or two, Elizabeth was firm. The afternoon would not do. She was very sorry to be so unsociable, but it could not be helped, she must go alone. All this time, Malcolm had said no word. Perhaps if he had, Elizabeth might have been induced to reconsider her decision. The fact was, she was getting sore as well as unhappy. If he had wanted me, he would have asked me to accompany them, she said to herself, never dreaming that her brusque decided manner made any such invitation on his part a sheer impossibility. So Elizabeth had her way, and spent a long pottering morning in the schools and in going over accounts with Theo. More than once she put back her hair from her hot forehead with a gesture of weariness. How lovely the valley would look, she thought. How dark the shadows of the fir trees would lie, while golden shafts of sunlight would penetrate between the slender stems. She knew where they would be sitting, on a shady knoll overlooking the dale farm and the range of hillside beyond. They would be talking to him about the priory and their future life and all their hopes and fears. And he would be listening to them, with that kind smile she knew so well on his lips.  Do you know you have added up all those figures wrongly? Have I, dear? I am so sorry. And Elizabeth, with a tired little sigh, worked her way up the column again. When she had entered the sum total she took up her hat. Surely you will wait for father, observed Theo, rather surprised at this unusual haste. You know he promised us he would be back soon after twelve. Yes, I know. But we have a guest staying with us, and I ought not to absent myself too long. I have seen Mr. Carlyan already, and he will understand. Please give him my love. Elizabeth could not have told why she was in such a hurry to be home, or why the morning seemed so endless to her. Theo's tactless remarks irritated her more than usual. She could hardly control her impatience as she answered her. Theo is very wearisome at times, she thought, as she walked rapidly through the woodlands. But after all there had been no need for haste. She found Diana alone. The walking-party had not returned. Oh! how tired you look, Betty, dear! This had been Diana's constant remark of late.  I'm afraid. Here Diana hesitated. That Mr. Herrick was a little hurt about it. Don't you think one ought to do something to entertain one's guests? This was quite a severe reproof from her gentle sister. But Elizabeth only laughed a little mirthless laugh. He is your guest, not mine, Diana.  Which was carrying the attack into the enemy's country. No one wanted my society a disagreeable cross-hold maid. A. Diana?  For her lip quivered and she was very near a sob. But in another minute she recovered herself, and Diana wisely said no more. But the moment Elizabeth saw Malcolm's face at luncheon, she knew her sister was right. He was unusually silent, rather constrained in manner, and hardly addressed her. Then an evil spirit of contradiction entered into Elizabeth, and she became suddenly extremely talkative. To listen to her rather would might have been a rustic paradise full of village hamptons and mute inglorious militants, and that in its idyllic streets peace and simplicity reigned.  But Malcolm never raised his eyes from his plate. To him Elizabeth's graphic descriptions were far from amusing. He was thankful when the meal was over and they were ready to set out for Rotherwood. Diana had some calls to pay, so Elizabeth had the house to herself for an hour or two, but she would not be idle for a moment. The sun was hot on the terrace and flower beds, but the vases were to be replenished. Diana had returned and brought her a cup of tea before she had finished. I should not be surprised if they all had tea at the vicarage, she observed, and Elizabeth assented. But a little later, as she stood on the terrace with a few sprays of lilac in her hand, which she meant to carry off to her own room, she heard Cedric's laugh distinctly from the drive. Her cheeks burned suddenly and a curious revulsion came over her. She had not expected them back so soon. She was not ready to meet them. She glanced at the drawing-room windows behind her. It would not do to go in that way, they would come face to face in the hall. She would go down to the pool. No one would look for her there. He, Mr. Herrick, had never once been there since that day. She knew how he avoided the place. Yes, she would be safe there, and could get cool and collect her thoughts, and to-night she would behave better and sing some of the old songs. Elizabeth was half over the rustic bridge as she made this resolution. Then she walked quickly through the little gap which led to the shady pool with its moss-grown boulders. But the next minute she recoiled in absolute terror. Someone was standing there, gazing down into the still water with bent head and folded arms. It was Malcolm. She would have crept away, but at the sound of her footsteps he turned round, and her retreat was cut off. You quite startled me, Mr. Herrick, she said rather nervously. I thought you never came here. It was the last thing she ought to have said, but she was confused by the sudden surprise. A faint smile crossed Malcolm's pale face. You are right, he said in a curious undertone. I have never seen it since that day three-and-a-half years ago. But it has haunted me. More than once I have dreamt of it. Such foolish dreams. You were Ophelia, and the water-weeds were strangling you and dragging you down, and I was trying to help you. Of well! with a forced laugh. Did you succeed in saving me? I think not.  Oh! it was only a dream! As Elizabeth looked rather horrified at this. My dreams of the pool were never happy ones. Elizabeth made no reply to this. Perhaps words were a little difficult at the moment. But as Malcolm said no more, she observed presently, I suppose you thought you could exercise the nightmares by seeing the place again. Then he turned round and looked her full in the face, and the lines round his mouth were fixed and stern. No, he said with unnatural calmness. Any such exorcism would be useless in my case. I have only come to take a last look at it. Elizabeth's strength seemed to forsake her, and she sank down on a boulder. What—what do you mean? she asked faintly. What do I mean? with a bitter laugh. But his eyes flashed ominously.  Cowards run away, do they not? Elizabeth, I am beaten. I confess it. I am going to give it up. I shall come here no more. No more! not come to the woodhouse. Elizabeth could scarcely gasp out the words. No, he replied quietly. Not even to see your sister. I mean to tell her before I leave. She will understand me. Why should I come here to be treated as you have treated me today? Each time I come you show me more plainly that my love and devotion are nothing to you. Well, dear as you are to me, God only knows how, dear, I can lead my life without you. Yes, I will free myself from my bonds. I will be no woman's slave. If she could only speak, the tears were running down her face now. He must have seen them if he had looked. But as she put up her hands to hide them, a little choking soul escaped her and reached his ear. He bent over her and spoke in a gentler tone. Why are you weeping, Elizabeth? Are those tears for yourself or me? For myself, she whispered, because you are leaving me. And I want you. I want you so. Strong man as he was, Malcolm trembled from head to foot with a sudden shock and revulsion. What could she mean? The next minute he was kneeling on the ground beside her and had drawn away her hands so that she was as defenceless as a child. I must see your face, Elizabeth, very firmly.  You never deceived any one. Let me read the truth in your eyes.  Does that mean you are beginning to care for me? I think so.  Does it mean that you love me well enough to be my wife? he asked again. And his voice thrilled her through and through. Then a lovely colour came to Elizabeth's face. I think I do, Malcolm. She whispered timidly. I believe I have been caring a long time. But I would not let myself believe it. Oh! dropping her hot cheek against his shoulder. It nearly broke my heart when you said you would never come again. I meant it, dearest. It seemed to me that my last hope was gone. Oh! my beloved! My own at last! And then Malcolm's long, passionate kiss set the seal to their betrothal. And for a little while there was the silence of a great peace. An hour had passed. No one had come in search of them, and the evening shadows were beginning to steal over the pool. But still they sat hand in hand, talking earnestly and lovingly after the manner of lovers, until the gong warned them that it was time to return to the house. But even then they lingered. Is the spirit of the pool properly exercised now, Malcolm? asked Elizabeth with her old playfulness. Then he clasped her close. I have her safe in my own keeping. Dearest, in a low, vibrating tone full of tenderness, if I ever grow supine or forgetful in my great happiness, and the memory of these long years of misery and unrest fade away, you must bring me here, and I shall remember.  Malcolm, you will not leave me to-morrow. I cannot part with you so soon. And he promised that he would certainly remain over Sunday. Elizabeth had not entirely laid aside her mourning. But the black silk dress she selected that evening fitted her exquisitely, and the dull, heavy folds suited her tall, queenly figure. She looked at herself for a moment.  The next moment there was a familiar tap at her door, and Diana, flushed and agitated, came into the room. Elizabeth watched her smilingly. Then she opened her arms without a word, and for a few moments the sisters held each other very closely. Oh, Betty, my darling, my darling, if you knew how happy this has made me! How did you know Dye? Have you seen him? Yes, just now, he was crossing the hall, and I saw his face. We were alone, there was no one near, and he caught hold of my hands. Oh, such a grip!  But we had no time for another word, for Cedric and Diana came out of the drawing-room. We shall not tell them this evening, returned Elizabeth. Malcolm has promised to keep it quiet. I told him that only you, my other self, must know to-night. You will be careful, will you not, Dye? Yes, dear, but you must let me hear more. How did it happen, Betty? I thought you and Malcolm Herrick never meant to speak to each other again. It has been such a tiresome, uncomfortable day. When I brought you that cup of tea on the terrace, I did so long to say a word to you. But I saw by your face that I should only make things worse. I am glad you refrained. Do you know Dye? I thought I heard them in the drive. I had no idea that Malcolm had returned an hour before, and I got into such a panic that I went down to the pool to recover myself. And—and he was there. At the pool? Yes, and he heard me, and I was obliged to stay. And then he told me that the place haunted him and gave him bad dreams. Oh, such ghastly dreams! And then all at once he said he was taking his last look at it, that he never meant to come here again. Poor fellow! Did he really say that? It was poor Betty, I think, then. Oh, Dye! If you knew how limp and helpless I felt when he said that. I trembled so that I was obliged to sit down. And—and I could not help crying.  But the next moment I could feel him bending over me, and his voice was quite changed and gentle when he asked me why I was crying. Of course you told him. Yes, I could not keep it back. And then somehow it all came right, and we were both so happy. Oh, Dye! How wonderful it seems that two such men should love me—my own dear David, and now Malcolm. I am not young or beautiful or even clever. I think I understand it, returned Dyehna affectionately. And then Elizabeth put the last touches to her toilet, and a moment later they went downstairs and found Malcolm still pacing the hall. He put out his hands silently to Elizabeth as they followed Dyehna into the dining-room.  As long as life lasted, Elizabeth would have her lover and her friend. She had found her rightful mate, and the old, restless days were over. LIBERVOX.ORG Herb of Grace by Rosa Neuchart Carey Chapter forty-four My dearest rest. She loves thee even as far forth than as any woman may a man, and is thine own, and so she says, and cares for thee ten thousand ways. Sorry. Something in Elizabeth's aspect seemed to attract Cedric's attention. Perhaps it was the veiled brightness of her expression, or the white flowers at her breast. But more than once he eyed her in a puzzled fashion. What have you done to yourself, Betty? he burst out at last. You look scrumptious. Ten years younger, and as though you had turned up trumps, and though Elizabeth pretended to frown at these personal remarks, it was impossible not to laugh. Cedric had no idea how nearly he had gauged the truth. He little knew the good news that awaited him the next day. The knowledge that his dearest and most honoured friend was to be his brother-in-law would fill his cup of bliss to the brim. Anna was somewhat weary with her unusual exertions that day, and after dinner Diana established her in a cosy corner of the drawing-room, promising that Cedric should come and talk to her there. I will stay with you till he comes, and then I have a letter to write, she observed, for Diana's tact was never at fault. Elizabeth kissed her hand to them smilingly. Then she wrapped herself up in a soft, fleecy shawl, and went out into the moonlight, and presently Malcolm joined her. I have had some difficulty in shaking off Cedric, he remarked, as he took her hand and placed it on his arm. He was in a talkative mood. But I told him his lady-love would be waiting for him. He little knew my lady-love was waiting for me too. No. How pleased he will be when we tell him. How sweetly that we sounded in Malcolm's ears. Malcolm, there is something I want to ask you. Will you go with me to Rotherwood to-morrow? I must see Mr. Carlyon. He will be so happy about this. With a light emphasizing pressure on his arm. And he is like my own father.  Did you fear I should refuse? For Elizabeth's voice had been somewhat hesitating. Do you think I should refuse any wish that is in my power to gratify? No, she said gently. I know how good you will be to me. That if it were possible you would strew my daily path with thornless roses. But it is not possible, Malcolm. Then we will take our share of the briars and thorns together. Indeed we will. Malcolm, there is something I want to tell you before we stand by that grave to-morrow. Something I should like you to know. And then, in a voice broken by emotion, Elizabeth repeated the substance of her conversation with Mr. Carlyon. It has made me so much happier, she faltered, when she had finished. Then Malcolm drew her closer to him. I am glad you told me this, he said in a moved tone. Dear Elizabeth, I have a confession to make. In those old, unhappy days I used to wonder how you could care so much for him. He was good and true and earnest, and he loved you dearly. But all the same I could not understand. Dinah and Mrs. Godfrey could not understand either, she replied gently. But you none of you knew my David. It made me a better woman only to be near him. His father has just the same simple, guileless nature. My two Nathanials I used to call them. Dear, I understand better now, returned Malcolm kindly. But I ask myself, could I have done the same in his place? I fear, I greatly fear, my love is not so selfless.  If you had been in his place, you would have been equally generous. I know your good heart far too well to doubt that, Malcolm. Elizabeth was a tall woman, and as she bent involuntarily towards him, her cheek rested for a moment against his. That simple womanly caress seemed to set the seal to her sacred confidence. But when she would have moved away, he held her fast. Elizabeth! Elizabeth! It was all he could say. But it was enough. No words were needed.  Two or three days later Malcolm found his way to twenty-seven Queensgate, and entered his mother's study unannounced. Mrs. Herrick was writing as usual. Her keen grey eyes lighted up with pleasure when she saw him. My dear boy, at this hour! What a delightful surprise! I was just writing to Anna. Cedric will not hear of bringing her back until Thursday. Malcolm smiled at his mother's tone. Strong-willed woman as she was, he knew that Cedric would rule her utterly. The lad's weedling ways and blarneying tongue had already won her heart. Cedric never could be made to understand why people were afraid of Mrs. Herrick.  Yes, if you will have me. I have some news for you, mother. Malcolm was a little nervous and spoke with some abruptness. Mrs. Herrick laid down her pen and looked at him intently. You need not tell me," she returned quietly. I know your news. I can read it in your face. Elizabeth Templeton has promised to marry you. Mother, are you a witch? In an astonished tone. It is not possible that any one has betrayed me. Anna and Cedric promised not to say a word. No one has betrayed your confidence, Malcolm, and a mother does not need witchcraft to enable her to read her children's hearts. My dear boy! she continued, her strong features working a little with emotion. Do you really imagine that I have been blind all these years? That although you chose to withhold your confidence from me, I was not aware of your trouble.  He always kept things to himself too.  Malcolm took his mother's hand and kissed it. You have been very good to me, he murmured. But I could not speak. The pain was too great. Thank God! Elizabeth is mine now. I say thank God too. And the keen eyes filled with tears. Will you bring her to me, Malcolm? Will I not, mother? But you must send her a message. Tell her that from this hour she shall be the dearest of daughters to me. And that for your sake I shall love her dearly. And tell her, no, I will keep that for my own lips when we meet.  And then, as Malcolm bent over her, she folded him in her motherly embrace.  Malcolm was anxious to be married as soon as possible. And as his mother and Dinah were on his side, and there was really no reason for delay, Elizabeth soon yielded to his persuasions, and a day was fixed early in August. Cedric and Anna were to wait until the elder couple returned from Scotland. And then Malcolm would give his adopted sister away. And after a fair amount of grumbling, Cedric acquiesced in this arrangement. In the middle of June, Dinah and Elizabeth paid a long visit to 27 Queensgate. And Elizabeth did her shopping, and saw the house in South Kensington that Malcolm had described to her in such glowing terms. A friend of his had recently bought it and furnished it in admirable taste. And now his wife's ill health obliged him to part with it, and Malcolm was in treaty for it. The sisters were charmed with the house when they saw it, and Elizabeth strongly advised Malcolm to take most of the furniture. It suits the house so exactly, and it will save you so much trouble. She observed sensibly. I know Dinah agrees with me. And Dinah smiled and nodded. Dinah has made such a charming suggestion, continued Elizabeth, as she stepped out through the French window at one end of the long drawing-room onto a balcony, pleasantly shaded by an awning, and prettily fitted up with flower-boxes and Indian matting, and delightful lounging chairs. She says we must call this house our townhouse, and that the woodhouse must be our country-house. She wants us to be there all the summer and autumn. And here Elizabeth looked at Malcolm rather wistfully. And you think that arrangement would suit you? he asked with a smile. But he knew her answer beforehand. Oh, I should love to be with Di, she replied earnestly. Dear, do you mean that you will consent? Think what it would mean to me. I shall not be separated from Mr. Carlyon and my poor people, and I do so love the country, and we should have our winter and spring in town. I think it will work excellently, returned Malcolm, in a tone of such conviction that Elizabeth Stout's vanished. I can do my work as well at Staplegrove as here, and I love the country too. As long as we are together and you are happy, I shall be satisfied. Dearest, how good you are! she whispered, with one of her rare shy caresses. Di has planned everything so beautifully. You know the large end-room we call our morning-room. That is to be your study. You are to have all your own books and things. Di is going to fit it up. She says it is to be her wedding present to you. The smaller room near it is to be the morning-room. But she will not leave me alone in my study," observed Malcolm in an alarmed voice. Your writing-table must be there too, Elizabeth. Do you think I could bear you out of my sight? Elizabeth laughed and blushed, and called him a foolish, jealous boy. But in her heart she loved to think that she was the delight of his eyes, and that every day she grew dearer to him. It was the evening before the wedding, and a quiet little house-party had assembled at the wood-house. Mrs. Herrick and Anna, Colonel and Mrs. Godfrey, and Malcolm, who had taken up his quarters at the King's Arms, had joined them at dinner. The wedding was to be at an early hour the next morning, and no other guests were to be invited. Colonel Godfrey would give the bride away, and the vicar and Mr. Carlyon would perform the ceremony between them. Anna would be the solitary bridesmaid. The sunset clouds were fading behind the little firwood when Elizabeth and Malcolm came out on the terrace. Elizabeth had been a little grave and thoughtful during dinner, and Malcolm, who could read her perfectly, knew that she was somewhat oppressed by all the talk. The still peacefulness of the evening, only broken by the sleepy twittering of the birds, seemed to calm and refresh her. Malcolm, she said presently, did you hear what Mrs. Godfrey was telling me at dinner, that Mr. Rosseter is coming to the manor house? Yes, I heard her, was the reply. The Colonel was talking to me this afternoon. He says it is a foregone conclusion that Lear Jacobi will not refuse him a third time. His kindness and devotion after her brother's death have already won her gratitude. Hugh Rosseter is one of the best fellows I know, he observed, and Lear will be a happy woman the day she marries him. And marry him she will. You may take my word for it. Poor Lear, I am so glad he cares for her. Of course you know Mrs. Richardson is dying, Malcolm, and that she is likely to be left alone in the world. Yes, and then Hugh Rosseter will have his innings. And Malcolm was right, for before long the news of Lear's marriage reached them. I am so glad Mrs. Godfrey told me that, went on Elizabeth. I want everyone to be as happy as we are tonight. But for saying good-bye to Die and Mr. Carlion I should not have a care. I can think of David without sadness, and life looks so beautiful.  I should be so proud of you, and though I cannot share your work as some women could, I can help you in other ways. I must be your right hand, Malcolm. Shall I tell you what you will be to me?" he returned, in a voice of deep vibrating tenderness that thrilled her through and through. I once read an old Scandinavian ballad, where a warrior calls his love my dearest rest. Three grateful words. The annotator goes on to say, and the most perfect crown of praise that ever woman won.  My dearest rest. It is far too beautiful for me, she whispered. I do not deserve it. But even as Elizabeth said this, her woman's heart registered its first wifely vow. Yes, she would be that to him. His haven and comfort, when he was weary with the storm and stress of life. God helping her, now and for ever. His dearest rest.


You guys are all familiar with the SpongeBob Red Mist story, right? It's the one about a lost episode of SpongeBob, in which Squidward kills himself, and is essentially a variation on the story, Squidward's suicide. While the legend itself has been debunked countless times, it is worth noting that this particular story was in part, based on a true story. In a now-deleted animation nation.com forum post from 2005, a user named Jeb Jolker recounted his experience of working as an intern for Class-Geek Supo in the early 2000s, primarily as an in-but-wainer for the show, the wacky adventures of Ronald McDonald, during which time he witnessed a particularly disturbing incident involving a fellow animator. Andrew Skinner was a Scottish artist and animator hired by Class-Geek Supo, exclusively for the wacky adventures episode, the monster O. McDonald Landlock, as both serving director and animator. Due to his Scottish heritage, in order to give the episode a genuine Scottish feel, given that the entire episode takes place in Scotland, and is a parody of the tale of the Loch Ness monster, the episode's production ran smoothly, until an employee noticed a strange interference, while reviewing a pre-release cut of the cartoon. One at first appeared to be simple static interference, upon closer inspection, was found to be a series of distorted gory images, taken from Ogrish.com and other similar sites. It was later discovered that, not only had a large number of gory images been snuck into the episode via single frames, but that some of the background textures had actually been made up of scrambled edited versions of said images. The production team was furious, as this meant that the episode would have to be delayed to give the animators enough time to fix it up, and remove any and all of the offending images within. Andrew Skinner would later come forward as the culprit, stating artistic expression as his reasoning, he was immediately suspended without pay. The episode proved so full of obscene images that it was delayed to the point, where the in-store promotion was concluded, leading to it only being sold online, and in limited numbers, under the altered title, The Legend of MacDonald Landlock. Jeb Joker has suggested that, while most of the unacceptable content had been removed, some remnants may have slipped through the cracks, and made it into the official release. Andrew Skinner's exploits would later be taken to the extreme in the aforementioned Red Mist story, which falsely claims that he was a murderous member of the Sponge Bod production team. The Legend of MacDonald Landlock has proven extremely difficult to track down, although at least one copy has been accounted for. In late December of 2014, a member of 4chan's co-board, revealed that he was in possession of a copy, providing photos and screenshots to back up his claim. The user stated that he intended to rip a copy of the tape, and share it around online before selling it on eBay. However within a short period, another anonymous user posted in the thread that they were willing to purchase the item for a whopping $15,000, so long as it was kept under wraps and off the internet. While many have discounted this offer as a hoax, there are some who believe that Andrew Skinner himself was the one, who offered the large sum to keep his now tarnished work from ever seeing the light of day. The tape owner has since gone quiet, ceasing to provide updates on the situation for several months in a row, it is theorized that Andrew Skinner made good on his offer, and that the OP has gone quiet as a result. As of this writing, the tape remains totally unaccounted for, as does the episode itself.


Think Tech Hawaii. Civil engagement lives here. We're talking about community matters today. I'm Jay Fidel. This is Think Tech and we care about the community. We care about community matters. And we care about preserving the community so it doesn't, you know, go toast one day over the kind of threat we were worried about a month ago and which, you know, logically could still happen based on diplomatic failure and based on somebody pulling the trigger or getting scared. And so we want to talk about exactly how exposed to why he is. With Sidney Higa, he's a retired U.S. Air Force major. He was involved in communications and computer development there. And with Bert Lord, who is a retired nuclear engineer, was chief machinist in the U.S. Navy and submarines. And, wow, what a combination of guys we have here today. Welcome to the show, you guys. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. So let's talk about nuclear bombs. You know, the one that blew up in Hiroshima was like 15 kilotons. We've got bombs that are much bigger now, yeah? Much, much bigger. How big? I think the largest Russian nuclear warhead that has been exploded is 100 megatons. 100 megatons? Huge. Very large. That's a lot bigger than 15 kilotons. That's like hundreds of times bigger. Absolutely. So we saw, you know, we've all seen the photographs we've read over the last 70 years. What the, I forget the name of the bomb. There was a name on the bomb. Came off the Enola Gay, right? And blew up Hiroshima. We saw what that did to Hiroshima and to the people in Hiroshima. Pretty powerful stuff and nasty business. But, you know, 800. 500 megatons. 500 megatons. 500 megatons. That would do, that would be different. That would waste any city. It would waste everything from miles around. Can you talk about it? Tens of miles around, yeah. Tens of miles around. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah.  Yeah, so you've done a little research on this and you've found some figuring by a guy who works in the Department of Energy. Stephen says his name about exactly what kind of effect the bomb would have in Oahu. Can you talk about it? There's a guy named Alex Wellerstein who has put together... Wellerstein. Yeah, Wellerstein who has put together a site called Nuke Map. And what he has used, he worked for the Department of Energy and he also worked for several different institutes of technology and he's a researcher in this area. And he has put together a website where you can actually go to and put in what type of a strike it is, ground strike versus aerial strike, size of the weapon, things like that, which actually gives you a radius. It's a radius map for the actual initial blast radius, which is devastation. And then your second blast radius, which is more of a radiation, kind of like being nuked in a microwave, not as much physical destruction but definitely cellular destruction. Body cells. Body cells, yeah, melted. And fried. Yeah, as you're cooking from inside. And then your third ring is really a contamination ring. It's where everything is going to have some sort of contamination around it. And those rings are really the initial blast rings. From there, there's follow-on, catastrophe and follow-on problems that you're going to have with the migratory effect of any types of animals in those secondary rings and then move to the tertiary rings, any type of wind, any type of water, like if your water systems are going to come up through there, any kind of contaminated water, septic, backup. And then of course, those that died but weren't in the initial blastering, which was incinerated, you're going to have the biological effects of those bodies decomposing and different things like that, which are going to cause more of a biological effect than the initial nuclear effect. Happy news. Happy, very happy, happy. I should mention that Bert has a PhD in, what, tell us about your training. So, the Navy originally took me under their wing and gave me a nuclear engineering training. And then from there, I developed, I got my bachelor's degree in nuclear engineering, I got my master's degree in engineering management, and then I got my doctorate in international relations. Specifically because I was working overseas with the Navy, Department of Energy, Department of Defense, actually training our allies in their response to chemical, biological, radiological and nuclear attacks. Yeah. So, talking about disaster preparedness and what to do after a disaster, I do want to talk about that here. Yes. But the Wallerstein, it's a website that's what, it's built to advise the public. It's not private, it's not confidential, it's not classified in any way. No, it's open source. Release anybody who wants to use a Nuke map. Just Google Nuke map and you can see it. You can put your own information in. And it's not, it's not 100% precise. It does concentric circle, blast radius, so it doesn't take into effect long ranges or anything. The department would change, it wouldn't be an exact circle. Exactly.  You'd see the imprint of a person on the wall. So any material in the path would then restrict the past mile. So it's not an exact concentric circle that comes out. It would be affected by buildings, mountains. It would also be affected by the wind, the air, anything at the time.  What happens to that person? They're vaporized. They are vaporized. It's a stain on the wall. It's a, well, he's not a stain on the wall. What actually happened is the impact of the, think of it like light, like a sunburn, a suntan, right? It's a very crude way to talk about it, but back when I was a kid, girls used to take little stickers of bunnies and put them on their stomach when they'd go get a suntan. Then they'd take it off and the skin would be lighter underneath. Same type of concept. When the initial nuclear blast hit, the body blocked the rays just for a split second. So it discolored the wall just a little bit differently. So you'd see an exact silhouette of the person who was in front of the wall. When the person in front of the wall would take the blast. And they were vaporized.  So all you see is the part that, where they, where they blocked. The radioactivity, you know, didn't, okay. So let's see the, the graph you were looking at from the ball of steam. Okay, so the first one, that's a, that's a second one. The first one is the one that has a very small circle. And that's basically, this is what they estimate would happen with 150 kiloton North Korean. This is the right one. Yes, this is the right one. So 100, 100, 150 kiloton. That's about 10 times the size of Hiroshima. Hiroshima, yes. Okay. And the little pinpoint there, that's the center. That would be like Pearl Harbor. If they were targeting Pearl Harbor, then the pinpoint would be there at Pearl Harbor. And so they have an estimate of about 20,000 deaths and about 117,000 people that would need assistance. Okay. So the people who, you know, I mean this is, it's all news already, but I think when this happened, when this alarm happened, people had that vision that they would be vaporized. Right. And they wouldn't, they wouldn't, you know, just so if you, if you look at what happened or the blast from a North Korean missile, it wouldn't be as bad as what people were kind of envisioning. Right. So there would be a lot of additional needs. It's only under 50 kilotons. That's small in comparison to some of the others that we have graphics for. But there would be a lot of assistance that's going to be needed. And how do we get to help those people that are the survivors? What do we do after the fact? Bert has some very good information in terms of all the planning and what goes into the response and how do you respond? What do you do to help those survivors? The ones at the center, you know, within, I forget the concentric diameter, but they would, they wouldn't know what hit them. They wouldn't know. It was just instant, like instantaneous. The ones who survived would have to be how far away from the blast, given 150 kilotons. How far away would they be? Looks...  Second is a 500, the 500 rem is your one kilometers. So you're going to get 500 rems at one kilometers. And then 3.7 kilometers is your air blast radius. And then your thermal radiation radius is going to be about 5.26 kilometers. That's where you're going to have your third degree burns in your major issues. So anywhere outside of 3.7 to 5.3 kilometers is where you're really going to have the major impact of severely wounded individuals.  The people who were in that building in Hiroshima, there was one, there was a library building and it was really thick walls and somehow they survived. All the other buildings were... Devastated, yeah. And remember too, one of the chief differences is this an aerial attack or a ground attack. And so if it's an aerial explosion, it's a major rem explosion. It's a major irradiation explosion. If it hits the ground and has a ground impact, that's when you see buildings fall down. That's where you see a massive energy transfer into the ground, into the mass. Now the concentric rings are much smaller, but the immediate devastation is much greater. If it's an aerial attack, you'll see a lot of the third-degree burns melting and you'll see those types of issues more than you'll see... So these intercontinental ballistic missiles, you know, what are they? Are they aerial or ground? So ICBMs are a totally different thing altogether. So especially Russian and Chinese and American ICBMs. So a single ICBM missile isn't just one missile. It'll be a series of... I mean it's classified how many, but it's a series of missiles. And so when you see one ICBM takeoff, when it actually comes back down and enters into the atmosphere, it'll split into many hundreds of missiles that will attack at one time. Hundreds of nuclear bombs. And they have both ground and aerial assault capacity. Some of them would be dummies, so you wouldn't know which one to target. So it's hard to stop them. Hard to stop them. The only way to stop them is before they come back down. Correct. Well, there's two major ways to stop them. One is taking them up on their way up and the second is to take out their guidance systems. Let them go somewhere else. But when they come back down, some of the bombs in this ICBM are going to be programmed to blow up at altitude over a given city. And others, no, others just go down and what, they're set off by hitting the ground or they're set off when they hit the ground. There's several different ways that they're set off. Each country has their own. I've been put a lot of time into this. Each country has their own method of which they use, but safe to say that some are set to hit on ground, some are set to implant into the ground and detonate after, and some are set to detonate above ground. Oh, so they wouldn't all blow up at the same time. No. It's like in those terrorist scenarios where you're going to bomb that blows up, the crowd comes in to save those people who were hurt in the original blast and now a second one goes off like that. And then in those types of weapons you also have to consider the EMPs, that wipe out electronics and so there's different, there's different components of those type of weaponry. So an ICBM is a much more sophisticated, very significant event coming into, especially to an island like Hawaii where a single, just a bomb being dropped out of the Enola Gay as you mentioned or a rogue ship coming into a port and detonating or someone being able to just lob one missile in from a submarine or something like that. But actually being able to fire a missile from thousands and thousands and thousands miles away, like have it reach orbit and have it re-enter and not be burned up and have it actually have secondary tertiary and quadrary targeting capacity to be able to hit exactly where they're aiming is a very sophisticated country's capacity and capability. So do you ever hear about nuclear bombs that are mixed with germ warfare bombs or other kinds of weapons or they only come pure nuclear only? Well, one of the greatest things about a nuclear weapon is that it does eradicate any kind of biological and so if you would have some sort of a biological weapon on board a nuclear weapon, the nuclear weapon itself would have eradicated the biological weapon. Oh, okay. There's no point in having them both then. Well, there's two reasons why there's no point in having them both. Number one is the nuclear weapon would eradicate it. Number two is the nuclear weapon detonating it. So with any kind of human or organic matter that's around there that starts to decompose with a large scale of the bodies that would be decomposing, plus the fact that they're all radiated so nobody can come in and take those bodies and dispose of them properly so they don't have biological issues, they would create their own biological issues. Yeah, sure. Okay, give me a headache. Sorry about that. Let's take a break. We'll take a short break. That's Bert Lord and Sidney Heager. We'll be right back to talk about how you try to save people afterward. Yes. I'm DeSoto Brown, the co-host of Human Humane Architecture, which is seen on Think Tech Hawaii every other Tuesday at 4 p.m. And with the show's host, Martin Desbang, we discuss architecture here in the Hawaiian Islands and how it not only affects the way we live, but other aspects of our life, not only here in Hawaii, but internationally as well. So join us for Human Humane Architecture every other Tuesday at 4 p.m. on Think Tech Hawaii. Okay, we're back. We're live. We're trying to cope with these possibilities. They are mind-blowing. This is a major, Sidney Heager, a retired major from the U.S. Air Force and Bert Lord, a retired nuclear engineer from the U.S. Navy. So one other chart we want to see is the chart with the big Russian bomb. The big Russian bomb. It has a much bigger footprint. And this would do much more damage. And if it's an ICBM, there would be more than one of them on board, yeah? This one, the graphic you're seeing right here is actually our mid-level bomb. Okay. And so in an ICBM, this type of bomb right here, it would probably, it would have several dozen of this capacity. And if you could show the next, the next larger. One with the, that's it. And then this one, there would be two to four of these in an ICBM. And so it would actually. Any one of them would just really destroy the island. For Hawaii, yeah. It would be, it would be a very significant game-changer for the island of Wahoo. So it sort of depends on who shot the thing in the air. Yes, exactly. If the Koreans did it, it would probably be one size in capability. If the North Koreans did it, yeah, it's probably a smaller. If the Russians did it, their standard is about 800 kiloton. If the Chinese were to shoot one at us, it's a five, five megaton is their standard. The biggest one is then from the. The Russians tested one at 100 megatons. Okay. That's huge. Nice to know. So you want to look at the markings as it's coming in. Okay. So we have devastation here. A lot of people are burned to a crisp immediately and a lot of others are, they're not going to last very long. Some others are going to be victims of the secondary effects.  Who saves us and what do they do to save us? And is it worth being saved, honestly? Well, I think that the large majority of the responders to help us here on Oahu would be coming from the outer islands. But then how do you set up the communications that they can call. Transportation too. Transportation, the communications. Who's going to be responding? Where will you take them to? As Bert alluded to, you know, with the dead bodies, how do you get rid of them? Because that creates a hazard in itself. A biological hazard? Yes. A disease risk, huh? Yes. But as you mentioned earlier before the show, is the problem is you've got to handle them and they're hot. They're radioactive. So the people who are handling them are at risk now. Yes. So if there was an attack on Oahu, what the CRB basically, the chemical biological, radiological response units, what they're... Is that military or civilian or what? So it's mostly military. There's the civilian aspects of this do come in out of the CDC and there are a few civilian capabilities that exist. Mostly it's a military capability. Does it exist right now today? Yes. Can I have a certain amount of comfort from that? So the command is located in Aberdeen, Maryland at the Aberdeen Proving Grounds and they have response units that are forward deployed in many different locations to be able to quickly respond. In an event like this, though, it's not often about saving who's there. It's about finding a way to move on, move forward. So one of the major impacts is wildlife, is the dead bodies, the biological effects, the fact that you don't have any electrical power at this point, so there is no septic... There's no septic systems. There's no water. There's no way to get fresh food in. And so... And the food that was there would probably be irradiated. Irradiated, yes. You do not want to eat the foods that are there. A lot of things that are really sad is that this would become an evacuation event. Which means nobody can stay behind. That's right. No one's going to stay behind. So what the military would do is they would start trying to find ways to communicate with people. They have aircraft that they use broadcast systems with. They would broadcast on AM radio. They broadcast on as many channels as they had available to them as possible. Sydney knows way more about that than I do. Yeah, but you know, we mentioned to Sydney a minute ago about coming from the Neighbor Islands, because the Neighbor Islands would have some vitality left, hopefully. Right. So long as they weren't hit as well. How would they come? There's no ferry, Sydney. They'd have to canoe it over, I guess. Taking Hawaiian air is not going to help. It's not going to help because the airport will probably be destroyed as well. So that's something that we have to look at for the long term and start to make those plans. See how we can get the supplies flown over. Dillingham might have to be expanded to, you know. Dillingham Field. Except larger aircraft and stuff. Because that's far from the predictable blast center. Correct, yes. Yeah. Or perhaps we need to have some other docking so they can bring ships with supplies and stuff and maybe towards the Coney Wayside or up towards the North Shore. Last time I looked, it took a ship, even a fast ship, even a nuclear carrier, it takes three, four days to get here from the West Coast. The West Coast. Assuming it was ready to make the trip. So that's why we would have to be dependent upon our local neighbors on the Otter Islands. Yeah. That's what it would have to be, but there's no way to make the trip on water. It's not very quickly. Commercial cargo ships, I suppose.  Some barges. Yeah. It would be pandemonium, wouldn't it? Nobody would know what to do. It would be all heck. Yeah. Yeah. And then as you said, it's an evacuation zone. It is. So the trick is to get out of town in any way you can. Yeah. It would become an evacuation event and there are several landing craft that can approach LCACs, that are able to actually approach on beaches and to do extraction points, but the military and they would pull off people as soon as they can, but they would set up decontamination centers that everyone would have to come in and go through a decontamination center and you would be, basically there would be triage at that point where even though you're walking you're beyond being able to save, these individuals we can bring in but they're contaminates that have to go to a slow decontamination center, these individuals are out of the blast range, can come in and it would only be humans. You'd have to leave because you can't ask your pet how close to the blast radius they were. So you have no idea how irradiated they are. People don't normally have geiger counters in their house so they can't really tell the contamination levels but it's really important to, after the blast go in, shower, get whatever fresh water you have. Assuming there was any water pressure. So anytime, well water pressure but anytime that you hear like if we ever get that warning the most important thing to do, just fill up your bathtub, sink, everything as much water as possible. Get people inside if someone comes in from outside comb their hair, get everything out of their hair, wash them with water, tepid water, not hot, not cold because you don't want to change your cellular structure to grass or to sweat and you just want to wash as much off as possible. Get to a safe place. There's actually a three day wait out. We call it a three day wait out. So if someone wants to prep for this, we're having three days of food that they can prepare without cooking it or something like that available at their house but there's a three day wait out. After three days after nuclear blast, the contamination half life will have gone down such that you can walk around a little bit outside and sell them. But when you're dangerous it's not only that you're dangerous to yourself, you're dangerous to those around you, right? Exactly, yes. And so that's what we want it to wash off not for just them but for anybody in their family. Anybody around them as well, yeah and no pets. And don't pet your pet. Don't bring them in. Don't pet them. Don't pet them. They might be more radioactive than you are. Yes, exactly. And any kind of and also people think like well I could just live off the land. Well you don't want to shoot a well pig. You don't want to eat anything that could potentially be contaminated because then you're going to internally contaminate yourself. It's hard, you know because a lot of people will die. Yes. And it'll take a while sometimes. That's where the preparedness comes in letting people know so that they can be prepared and avoid the things that will cause them harm in the future. Yeah. So I mean assuming you're alive and assuming you haven't ruined yourself with contaminated material what do you do? Because the city the state the island anyway the island is is really destroyed. It's not coming back till some you know further time maybe hundreds of years away. It's finished. Which means no power no water as you said no sewage no food. You can't till the soil you can't touch an animal all you can do is leave. Right.  What would you head down to the harbor I hope one of those landing craft would pick you up and who would you who would you be listening for? Who would be coming to help you? Would it be the navy would it be the you know the National Guard would it be the HPD who are you going to who has got open arms for you who will help you that's where all the planning comes in this is why we want to bring the attention out there so that we can inform the people to get ready so that the other departments can be prepared to respond to this type of of catastrophe. So it's all about communication this is your area that's my area yes so what's the optimal way to handle the communication end of it to be in charge somebody would have to be in charge and when we had the fall salon a few weeks ago there was really nobody you know my wife called HPD and they said find shelter and she said what was that it's all you got HPD do you know anything about this so who would you call well in a case like that you would have to have communications equipment that if you were to be destroyed by an EMP there would be a shelter so that you could bring out the communications and start setting it up for the first responders so that they can communicate once they're communicating now you have them go out to the different communities and have them assist people but they would be the primary core of communications this is like the Titanic you know they're not going to feel safe either they're going out into a highly irradiated area they're dealing with highly irradiated people they'd have to wear clothes and they would be at risk in their lives wouldn't they how do you get people how much do you pay those people how do you get those people to commit to do that who are they those are the people that have the heart to help other people those are the ones that are going to be those responders are they existing law enforcement or are they recruited after the fact to help I think there's some organizations like emergency management professionals I believe it is that would be a good start is for people to get involved with that organization and volunteer their services so again go back to my question do I make down for the harbor feeling that that's the only way help is going to get to me do I walk down there walk down the highway try to get to the harbor find the military maybe a ship maybe the navy maybe a carrier that would take a lot of people out is there anybody coming for me at the harbor I mean where do I go where would the first responders that's that's the key issue here in the state of Hawaii that has not been instituted so the reality of your question is everybody's question and the answer doesn't exist at this point so the answer has to be formulated it has to be prepared for and then it has to be dispersed to the public and at this point it hasn't been done and that's the United States government and the State Department and Defense Department actually and Department of Energy spend lots of money teaching other countries how to do this but we do very little of it actually inside our own country we saw that in Puerto Rico and we did see that in Puerto Rico yes absolutely the federal government was like a wall in Puerto Rico well one of the things about Puerto Rico is the federal government actually did show up but there was but Puerto Rico themselves had nothing in place to take government aid federal government aid and disperse it anywhere actually we would be exactly like Puerto Rico the federal government would respond with ships three day ships that's why three days is a good window to work with anyways because you mentioned as soon as the attack happens what should you do well the reality of it is you should stay in place for at least three days it is terrible staring staring at the windows inside your house close your windows hopefully you have a little food and water hopefully you have a little food and water I mean if you have to go and find food and water obviously but if you have the ability to stay inside stay in place for at least three days what should happen is the military and civil defense which I don't believe we really have here at least I've never heard of them if they exist I apologize but I have not heard of them the civil defense is who is supposed to get the message out of what to do where to meet and they are the ones that are supposed to coordinate the military federal government local government HPD HFD they're supposed to coordinate that response the civil defense people that everyone knows about right now is the guy who hit the trigger and put out a lot of confidence there go a step further civil defense to me was in the fifties that's when the whole civil defense thing was designed that cover against Russian missiles back when which you know that went away and I think civil defense in large part went away and in any event civil defense went away in the minds of the population it went away it doesn't exist so I mean we're about out of time to me so could you could you tell us what mindset we should have this is really very valuable news but it may be a fatal situation where you have to make peace with your maker rather than anything else so what what do we think of what do we do how do we walk around the street this afternoon and tomorrow thinking about this possibility is it a matter of just saying well okay it will be what it will be or do we have a plan in our minds a mental attitude that we should have well first off the Hawaii State Department of Defense with their Hawaii Emergency Management Agency they do have some valuable information on the website there is a the emergency management professionals of Hawaii they have a website they have good information there there are some organizations I have a friend his name is Gus Laktion and he runs 9-11 seminars so he'll do community training for what to do and how to be prepared in terms of different natural events such as tsunami, earthquake even a nuclear attack so I would start planning myself to get educated so that I could teach my family my friends my neighbors because it really everything really starts with yourself you don't want to be depending on an agency for everything because they can't do everything right government these days people don't have a lot of confidence in government that's the reality I have one last question for you guys I'd be very interested in your answer this is the last question we have to close after this but this is not an easy question it's a hard question there will be no law and order here for a lot of people so I have my little care package I have food I have water whatever to live is there a gun in my package I mean if you want to keep it if you want to keep your package fair enough Sydney great discussions thank you so much thank you very much thank you guys thank you for having us on the show