On the side of the Saudi embassy, they're going to end US weapon sales to Saudi Arabia, they're going to end the war on Yemen. Saudi Arabia has been targeting civilians. Most recently, there was a bomb that was dropped in the school bus, killing 40 children and injuring more. Numbers, these bombs are targeting schools, school buses, markets, hospitals.  While they were on their summer vacation and these blue backpacks were the backpacks that the children were wearing when they were on the bus and you might have seen the pictures of the bloody children screaming with the backpacks still on.  So we're here because just today, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo certified that the Saudis were doing everything in their power to protect civilians and that the US should continue to collaborate with Saudi Arabia because they were complying and trying to bring this war to an end. And Secretary of Defense James Mattis echoed the statement of Mike Pompeo saying, yes, we will continue to work with the Saudis and meanwhile the deaths amount just two weeks after this August night bombing that left 44 children dead, there was another bombing that left 21 children dead and the media didn't talk about that one. So these bombings are happening all the time and civilians are being killed all the time.  So let's put the packs on their steps recognizing they are the ones responsible for what happened. The Saudis are the ones responsible for what happened. The responsibility lies with the people in here. They can take the backpacks away. These backpacks represent dead children. Think about that. They represent children who are died because of the Saudi bombing campaign and the blood is on the hands of the people in this embassy. The names of all of the children that were killed in that bus bombing.    Yusuf Hussein Hussein Tayyaf, killed 15 years old. Ahmed Zaid Hussein Tayyaf, killed 12 years old.  Osama Zaid Ali Al-Ahamran, killed 13 years old. Ali Zaid Ali Al-Ahamran, killed 15 years old. Ali Abdul Zaheem Ali Hashem, killed 12 years old. Turkey Mohamed Hassan Abadi, killed 10 years old. Yusuf Abdul Aziz Ali Tahdawi, killed 13 years old.   Abdullah Hussein Fazal Hash, killed 12 years old.   Abdul Malik Abdul Rahman Abdul Yahid, killed 12 years old.  Mohamed Abdul Salam Abdullah Al-Dahiani, killed 12 years old.   Mohamed Abdullah Yahya Behita, killed 12 years old.    Yahya Madi, as LD Murray, killed 12 years old. Hussein Mohamed Hassan, killed 15 years old. Abdullah Abdullah Salam Abdullah Tariq, killed 12 years old.  Yahya Mohamed Hussein Al-Azari, killed 12 years old.  Mohamed Sayeed Ali Zadman, killed 13 years old. Walid Abdullah Ali Al-Bulani, killed 13 years old.   Ali Hussein Hassan Al-Hajiri, killed 27 years old.  We have four children and people wounded in that attack. So, let's just take a moment and just sit in silence. For justice and... Violence International in Code Pink. All in the Saudi government to stop its war on Yemen. We're calling on the United States to stop supporting this war on the people of Yemen. It's a civil war. We are not here taking sides in the civil war in Yemen, except for the sides of the people of Yemen who are being targeted by all sides.  This is not a sustainable solution for the people of Yemen or for the people of Saudi Arabia. You're not going to bomb your way to peace with your neighbors. We call on the United States government and the Saudi government to stop immediately the war, have a ceasefire immediately, and to negotiate in good faith for an end to the slaughter and an end to the civil war. We know that the basis of all faith traditions is nonviolence, nonviolence, not the building of missiles and bombs and drones, not the teaching of our young people, reflexive killing in high schools and in colleges, religious colleges as well. What we want for our children is a life full of flourishing, of gentleness, of joy and dignity. What we want is community on Holy Mother Earth. Amen. Think about the people who work inside this building, police watching out for the people inside the building instead of turning around to watch out for us, the nonviolent peacemakers. If we could think about the people in the White House who only care about the money they're getting from the Saudi weapons sales, if we could think about the politician, most of whom, unfortunately, take money from the weapons manufacturers for their campaigns, don't say very much about the destruction in Yemen or the repression in Saudi Arabia. And while we're here thinking about all the people who are dying in this war, let's also remember that within Saudi Arabia, there are people who are on death row for doing exactly the kind of thing that we are doing here, or less.  There are women in jail who did civil disobedience by getting behind the wheel of a car and driving that car. And now where the Crown Prince takes credit for, quote, giving women the right to drive, these women who fought for the right to drive are in prison. And let's remember that in the whole eastern province of Saudi Arabia, where the minority Shia community live, they are constantly under repression. And leaders of that community have been murdered by the Saudi regime, like Sheikh El-Nimer. Or are on death row some of them arrested when they were teenagers, juveniles on death row for advocating nonviolently for the rights of the minority Shia community. So the fact that the United States government has been in bed with the Saudi regime, not just under the crazy Trump administration, but under that all so wonderful Obama administration, and under the Bush administration before that and the Clinton administration before that, it's been a nonpartisan thing, making common cause with one of the only absolute monarchies left in the world because they have oil, because they have money, because they buy our weapons. And the bombing of the school bus is just one manifestation of that horrific alliance that has gone on for way too long. So I think unless there's anybody who wants to speak, is there anybody who wants to speak? What we're going to do is do some photos with the big banner that we have and end our protest with a commemoration of these children.


Welcome to the NTN Nightly, I'm Nisha Charles. This edition's top stories. Government has appointed a committee to assess best practices for the National Health Insurance Scheme. Educators thrash out issues relating to the administering of examinations. Drainage improvement works begin at Riviera Mita, all that plus the latest in youth development, sports and the NTN Nouvel Arquillon. Affordable access to quality health care is among the key areas of focus for the Government of St. Lucia, outlined in a medium-term development plan for 2019-2022. Prime Minister the Honourable Alan Shasne during the just-delivered budget address announced that 162 million EC dollars will be invested in the health of St. Lucia's at all levels. A major part of the island's health strategy is the full operation of the OKEU and the completion of St. Jude's Hospital as well as the design and implementation of a National Health Insurance and the strengthening of primary and public health. A National Health Insurance Committee has been set up to present the best model and financing options to cabinet. Also forming the Medium- Term Development Plan is the enrollment of 7,500 students in public, post secondary or tertiary education and TVET programs, a 45% reduction in serious crimes, a 40% increase in tourist arrivals, increase in exports of bananas and cocoa and in infrastructure, 99 kilometres of road, double airlift capacity and 40% increase in cruise capacity. National Health Insurance to secure affordable access to health care services, a national health fund will be established with the sole purpose of funding the National Health Care Insurance. I wish to point out that the government will ensure that adequate provisions will be made to cover the poor and most vulnerable within our society. Cognizant of the necessary legislative and institutional changes required to facilitate the full establishment of the National Health Insurance Scheme, the Department of Health and Wellness shall implement a pilot NHI while undertaking the necessary changes to support the system concurrently. A National Health Insurance Committee has been set up to present the best model and financing options to the cabinet. Citizen safety will see 12 game changes in three focus areas with the goal of a 45% reduction in serious crime by the end of the strategy term in 2022 and a 30% reduction in repeat offending by that same year. This radical and long overdue approach, Mr. Speaker, will focus on better policing, greater efficiency in the legal system, the rehabilitation of offenders and the strengthening of the justice system. Crime prevention and detection will benefit from a stronger police presence in hot spots. We'll be increasing foot and mobile patrols, the frontline where they are needed most. Mr. Speaker, greater surveillance capabilities are now available to the police with the building out of a $5.8 million safe city CCT project in Castres, of which 1.8 million has been allocated for 2019-2020. In addition, greater focus will be placed on community policing to strengthen the community involvement in fighting crime. And that was Prime Minister, the Honourable Alan Shasne. As thousands of St. Lucian students prepare to write examinations in the Caribbean Examination Council, educators are busy ensuring that all issues of administration are addressed well ahead of exam time. More from Anissa Antoine. The Assessment and Evaluation Unit in the Ministry of Education recently hosted a meeting with the principals, CXC presiding officers and invigilators to discuss CXC examination preparation and other related matters. The administration reflected on the manner in which past activities and decisions transpired and highlighted ways to obtain improved results in the future. Carmelita Matthew is the Registrar of Examination in the Ministry of Education. Our purpose here remains the same. Soldiers prepare themselves for the bad field. In the same way, our chief invigilators and their assistants need to refresh themselves in order to get acquainted with CXC standards. Our objective here today is to give you the tools needed to sufficiently carry out your responsibilities assigned to you. The Registrar expressed her gratitude to the administrators of the 2018 CSEC, CCSLC and CAPE examinations. Matthew explained that for 2019 examinations, invigilators and presiding officers would be rotated to prevent familiarization and discourage disrepute. A checkup or returning paper ones will be done at the unit to ensure that the documents remain highly secured. So we are going to start doing our checks and balances. That we expected CXC to do and call us and say, oh, but we didn't receive that number when we sent that amount to your school. But we will do these checks and balances at our office in the initial phase. Okay, we want to ensure that what we are sending to CXC is what they sent to us. As we know these paper ones, the multiple choice booklets are not supposed to be shared with anyone. Caribbean Secondary Education Certificate and CAPE examinations will be offered in May to June 2019. From the Government Information Service, I am Anisia Antoine reporting. The Department of Health and Wellness is continuing on its efforts to manage the present situation of an increase in influenza cases on Ireland by sanitizing public and private healthcare workers. More in this report from Fanelle Neptune. Healthcare professionals will grant the opportunity to acquire information about the guidelines for the prevention and control of the measles virus for a sensitization workshop held recently. Medical Officer of Health, Dr Sharon Bilma George says, although St Lucia has been free of measles since 1990, it is necessary that healthcare workers are sensitized about surveillance measures as to allow for prompt interventions if cases are identified. The immunization for measles started in 1982 and our last documented case of measles in St Lucia was in the year 1990. So as you could imagine, most of our healthcare workers would not have seen or managed a case of measles. With what is happening in the region and in the wider world, we note that the threat of measles outbreak is coming quite closer. So we are taking a very proactive step in ensuring that all of our healthcare workers are updated and sensitized so that we can have early detection if we were to get an imported case of measles coming into the island. Dr Bilma George says it is important that children are protected against measles by getting vaccinated. We have noted that in the last five to ten years, some parents have chosen not to immunize their children. So those children who are not immunized are at risk. The measles is a viral illness, it's an acute illness, and it is one of the most infectious agents that you could get. So all we need is for one person with the measles virus to travel either into St Lucia or for somebody from St Lucia who has not been fully immunized to travel into an area with an outbreak. And it would now put persons who have not received their full scheduler vaccines or not immunized would be at risk for such a disease. The Medical Office of Health is appealing to parents to review their child's health card and ensure it is updated. Through the Immunization Program, the Department of Health and Wellness will be administering the vaccine for measles free of charge. Reporting from the Communications Unit of the Ministry of Health and Wellness, I am Fenel Neptune. Efforts at building more resilient communities are continuing with works at Riviameter Moshi, Genel Novel reports. The National Emergency Management Organization, NEMO, is collaborating with the Riviameter Community Development Committee with funding from the Canada Caribbean Disaster Risk Management Fund to redesign drainage and road works at Valley Lord Avenue. The residents on Sunday 14th April 2019, after almost 11 long years, saw the official commencement of the project. Chairman of the Riviameter Development Committee, Paul Lord, explained that it is extremely difficult for motorists and pedestrians alike traversing the road, especially after heavy rainfall. He grasped the opportunity to make an appeal for even more work to be done on the road. A drain without a road is not what we really want. But when you have that structure, that drain structure, that means it would cost you much cheaper to have the road. So as we have the parliamentary rebate, I'm sure that the budget is on the way, but I'm sure some allocation probably has already done somewhere along for Bruce Lee, which can probably, right after that drain is completed, by then some of the money have been released so that something can happen. Engineer in the Ministry of Infrastructure, Len Leo, provided some insight into the project. As you know, we're going to be doing about 180 meters approximately of line drain. Remember, this is a drainage project. And as such, it's going to be executed utilizing V drains, U drains, culvert crossing to take all that surface runoff away, and also to have a look at the junction near the bridge going up the hill to ensure that all surface runoff, which before was probably running in a very haphazard way, is now controlled, directed, and sent sensibly to the nearby ravine. That is what this project really entails. Minister for Equity, Social Justice, Local Government and Empowerment and Parliamentary Representative for Grossly Honourable Leonard Montuth commanded the Riviameter Community Development Committee for its efforts. He indicated that like entities must work together to achieve community goals. With the government of St. Lucia soon to embark on a massive road maintenance and rehabilitation project, Minister Honourable Montuth also pledges commitment to ensuring an improved road network for Grossly. I know the challenges that you're facing. I cannot promise you that under this project that is upcoming that all your roads will be resurfaced, but you will certainly see some improvement. You will see some work done here in this part of Riviameter. Understand that we have a very large constituency with very many roads, and I know if I do a hundred roads and I do not do yours as far as you're concerned, I've done nothing. So I will try to ensure that we touch a Riviameter. If we touch Riviameter, because I know that for a long time you have been going through the plight of, you know, having to traverse those roads, and especially when it rains, I know the challenges that you face. So I'm making this pledge here today, and while I am thankful for the part that has been done, I realize that it has put me on the spot to come up to play my part. The project is expected to be completed in six weeks. For the Government Information Service, I am General Norville. And this is the NTN Nightly. Ryan O'Brien is up next. There are signs everywhere.  Visit your health center to get screened. It's a preliminary test to determine if you are exposed to the HIV virus, an STI, or tuberculosis. Some people who are HIV positive also have tuberculosis. But there is hope. Tuberculosis can be cured. And yes, you can live a full life with HIV. Talk to your doctor. Be responsible. Help stop the spread of TB HIV. Encourage everyone to get tested. Welcome back. We join Ryan O'Brien for the latest happenings in youth development and sports. Hello, and welcome once again to your update on youth development and sports on the NTN Nightly News. I'm Ryan O'Brien. The Government of St. Lucia has allocated $20.6 million towards sports facilities during this financial year 2019-2020. Prime Minister and Minister for Finance, the Honourable Alan Chastney, made the announcement during the tabling of the Appropriations Bill in Parliament Monday evening. These facilities will ensure our youth channel their energy into positive, healthy activity. I've said it before and it bears repeating now that it's better for our young people to join clubs than to join gangs. Four sports facilities have been identified initially for further development as follows. A mini stadium at Soufere. A large sports hub at Dennery. A medium sports hub in Miku North. And a community hub in Miku South. In addition, we'll soon have the School of Excellence at Grozallet, where a pilot program has already begun, which introduced to Form 3 as the first step of phasing in the sports curriculum. Prime Minister Chastney observed that these facilities were not only served to enhance the status of sports on the island, but also to build on community spread. The Ministry of Youth Development and Sports will be employing adequate and relevant means to reach out to the young people of St. Lucia, Director of Youth Mary Wilfred noted that merely involving the community as a main avenue to communicate to young people does not meet the required objectives. That as a Ministry of Youth Development and Sports, we're missing this key component of reaching young people. Okay, the way we reach young people 10, 15 years ago, even three years ago, we can't reach them anymore. Send it to the Ministry of Education, the Ministry of Education send it to the schools, and we hope the students will get it. It can't happen anymore. We can individually reach students through various platforms. And thank you for even reinforcing that this is something that we have to put money into and get young people committed to reaching you, so that you get involved in the programs. Ms Wilfred disclosed that the Ministry will be using various media platforms to address youth concerns. The next main activity on the calendar for Youth Month will become Kalinago, which will run from April 19 to the 21st. It is expected to provide a unique opportunity for emerging youth leaders to access leadership teaching through the mirroring of the life of the Indigenous people. Candidates will develop their directorship capabilities as well as increase their knowledge of St Lucia's early history. They will be able to advance their skills in projects and events management, budgeting and proposal writing, public relations, social media etiquette and other skills relevant to their roles on their respective councils. It is hoped participants will also develop an appreciation for the lifestyle and history of the Kalinago people and the impact of other ethnicities on their lifestyles. And that's our update on youth development and sports today. I'm Ryan O'Brien. Thanks Ryan. The Ministry of Tourism, Information and Broadcasting, Culture and Creative Industries is conducting a survey to get your views on the proposed improvements to the William Peter Boulevard. The aim of the project is to prepare design options for making the area more pedestrian friendly as well as the facade improvement program in the Boulevard area. This survey is part of an environmental and social impact assessment that must be completed as part of the project. Enumerators will be approaching businesses, vendors and pedestrians on the Boulevard between Tuesday 23rd April and Tuesday 20th April 2019. The Government of St Lucia values your opinion and therefore looks forward to your cooperation and support. And stay with the NTN Nightly. Up next, Primus Hutchinson is here with the NTN Nouvelle Arquio. Welcome back. We join Primus Hutchinson for the NTN Nouvelle Arquio. Primus Hutchinson. As you can see, we have a lot of projects that cost us more than a million dollars. As for the program, we will continue to present it as much as we can in the next year. We have projects to address the problems of the water in the Nouvelle Arquio. We have a lot of projects that are more advanced. On 270,000 remote living targeted in 2021, we have other projects that arePeople who fall улиuld don't really know that they are each together to help喔 one or more families will. On 27th April 2019, we have a fourth project to assist will create an OSC for insurgents on the street. And within the four walls of the Giant Mountain to provide repair services for our people. Chairman for Lorde Pallédi, it's been a long time since we've been able to control the amount of water that affected the company that affected the company. It was impossible for the big cities, the big cities, to survive as a whole. Lorde Pallédi, it's been a pleasure to assist the government of Canada to start working on their project, Canal Salah. Since 2009, we have been working on it and we continue to work on it. In the end, we are going to be able to work on it and start working on it. We are going to be able to work on 410,000 Canadian dollars that the government... not the government, but the Ministry of Infrastructure to assist us in putting these different things in place and to ensure that everything is good that we are able to work on it. Okay, we are going to be able to work on it and we are going to be able to work on it and we are going to be able to work on it. Can you explain this, Lorde Pallédi? Well, I don't know if it's a common thing to do but it's difficult to put it in place because people don't know what to do and they don't want to know what to do. And then, the place we are going to be working on is Valry Lodds Avenue. You have to put it in place after Valry Lodds because it's a decision that you make as long as it goes and you don't have to put it in place because you have to put it in place at any cost. Chairman, the Committee on Development has asked the government to work on it so that after that, it's better for me to work on it. The sick people who are in the hospital for the Department of Health and the Victoria Hospital can be more comfortable than before because you have to find gifts soviet and cribs recently. This committee is in Brooklyn, New York that is doing a presentation on this. It's a presentation on gifts. Madam Committee, Claudia Augustine, after which you need your commitment to help the citizens here and also to provide your benefit to the hospital so that you can continue to help people to find a place to do that. No, that's not what you know. For your children, this is the problem. I don't know who it is. You have to appreciate these gifts because you have to assist to change these children well, protect them because children are always active even if they are sick. Committee, after which these great cribs for the Victoria Hospital. That's why we have new news, Madam. I thank you so much for watching. Thank you for your invitation so that I can get to know a lot of new things. After that, we have to leave. Thank you, Pil Primus. And here's a look at what's happening to us weather-wise. The Atlantic High Pressure System will maintain a moderate easterly windflow across the eastern Caribbean region over the next few days. Skies are partly cloudy, becoming cloudy at times with a few scattered showers. Low-level clouds drifting with the windflow will bring some scattered showers over the islands during the next 24 hours. The tide for Castries Harbor was high at 3.29 p.m. and will be low again at 8.53 p.m. The tide for V4 Bay was high at 4.36 p.m. and will be low again at 10.20 p.m. The seas moderate of waves 4 to 6 feet are 1.2 to 1.8 meters. The sun will rise Friday at 5.48 a.m.


Life begins when a fertilised egg divides to form new cells which in turn also divide. Initially these cells look identical but over time they begin to change. In a process regulated by our genes some go on to form the heart and others for example the brain. What are the mechanisms that enable a single cell to become a complex organism? This is one of biology's great questions and one which the research of Christiana Nuslan-Volhar has helped to resolve. Her work has allowed us to identify the genes that regulate the development of living organisms shedding light on broad areas of biology and medicine. In the 1970s she began to study the developmental genetics of mutant fruit fly embryos and was able to identify the genes that regulate their complete development. Later she focused her research on the key developmental regulators invertebrates using a new model organism the zebrafish. Her discoveries opened different lines of research. Some of them in the field of medicine which for example have led to a better understanding of the causes of anomalies in human embryonic development.


Can we agree that finding a good partner can feel very difficult today in the dating, mating, and relating marketplace? And a lot of women come to me with deep frustration, particularly with men, who are emotionally inept, emotionally immature, emotionally constipated. One thing they ask frequently for my help is how to get a man to open up emotionally. Why is this so critically important? Because the richness within a relationship isn't necessarily about the basic needs of survival, as it was once in the past. In fact, men being provider protectors was for those base needs within a relationship, and these days we don't have that same necessity as we did in the past. And so to have a full rich relationship, it requires emotional intimacy to take the relationship deeper. And yet many men are struggling in this area, especially men in midlife. You know, midlife as I say is after baby making years and before retirement. So a lot of men in this category as well as women are divorced. I'm guessing roughly anyone over 45 years old who's actively in the dating marketplace, as I say, and what I mean by dating marketplace, they're on the dating apps, if you will, roughly 75% of those people are divorced. And with divorce can come a lot of emotional traumas. And if an individual hasn't worked on these emotional traumas, then they carry this forward into new relationships. And what I mean to say is they carry forward negative patterns, limiting beliefs, and in many cases, men shut down, or they're seeking somebody to connect with from a trauma level, meaning that they share a lot of their trauma in their previous relationships, and they can bond with someone else who also has trauma in their past relationships. And what's interesting about this is that this trauma, when a man is expressing his frustrations, his emotional effects of this past relationship or marriage, it might seem like he's opening up emotionally. And yet it's maybe a very narrow window of emotional openness he has. And I suspect many of your women are seeking men that you want to get them to open up emotionally. You want someone to be more demonstrative, more effusive. And we're going to talk about that. And yet, sadly, women chase men who are incapable of it. And they're chasing their, what I should say, they're investing in men for the not the wrong reasons, but using the wrong tools with men who are emotionally inept, emotionally constipated, emotionally immature. When I think of emotional maturity, I think of men who are their actions consistently match their words. They have a sense of victor consciousness, not victim consciousness. They have the capacity to fight fair is what I say. And what that means is they can listen when there's a difference agreement with someone, they can listen to your point of view, accept your point of view as being true for you, acknowledge your point of view. And while they might have a differing point of view, you learn to agree to disagree. That's what I call fighting fair. Next is a level of empathy. Empathy isn't just, can I feel your feelings? Empathy is, do your feelings matter to me? That's really a deeper sense of intimacy. Do your feelings matter to me? In fact, that's a fundamental aspect of trust is that the other person's best interests are in your best interest. And another form of emotional maturity is that capacity to be transparent in a relationship, to be vulnerable, to be authentic, to be transparent. Now, for many men, that's very difficult for them to be transparent because they don't even know their own feelings and they struggle with that. So I'm going to share with you how to get a man to open up because I'd like you to do this instead, instead of investing in men from the perspective of letting them be the leaders of the relationship, because let's face it today, dating today has just become a very drawn out long series of friends with benefits. That's right. I said it, friends with benefits. What that means is they're experiencing companionship with you. They're experiencing connection with you. They're experiencing sex with you without any real deep commitment involved in the relationship. So what we see today, you know, we call these casual relationships. I call them just an extended version of friends with benefits. Now, I just said casual relationships. A significant percent of relationships these days are simply casual. There's no real deep roots in the relationship. Maybe the level of commitment is centered around monogamy and exclusivity without any real direction towards partnership, without any real consciousness towards partnership. There are many experiences many women are having today, lacks a sense of intentionality towards really choosing a person that you want to go the distance with. And I think because of that, the minute there's a roadblock in the relationship, someone leaves. And what's not happening today is a deeper level of emotional intimacy. If you're not familiar with the book by Robert Masters called Emotional Intimacy. By the way, there's a link below to all the books I recommend. I highly recommend checking this out so you can get a better sense of what emotional intimacy is.  I'm going to repeat that you must invest in yourself. And what I mean to say is to show up as your best self, not just physically showing up as your best self and also emotionally. Now, that means is to genuinely feel that level of self-confidence, self-assurance, self-reliance, self-esteem, self-worth. In fact, many of you know, I've written a book and I encapsulate that all into self-love.  Wow, what's going on with my voice? A journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. By the way, there's a link below to all the books I recommend. I better drink some coffee. Self-love is that capacity for us to be in our power. Women oftentimes give their power away to a man, meaning they need a man to validate them so they can feel good about themselves. And by the way, men do this as well. So this is why it oftentimes the effort that they put towards a man might appear chasing because they're putting effort with a man in the wrong way. What they mean to say is they're doing it wrong. They're doing it wrong. I don't know if any of you remember the movie Mr. Mom, where he was driving his kids to school and all the school teacher said, you're doing it wrong, you're doing it wrong. I'm here to invite you to do it a different way, to invest in a man in a different way. And I want to use an analogy before I give you the tools. So there's a TV show on Hulu, my girlfriend and I are watching, called The Good Doctor. The Good Doctor. OK, why I'm sharing about this show is that it's about an autistic man who wants to become a surgeon.  And he's also autistic.  It's one of his challenges to be a good doctor is to communicate because autistic people, Asbergs, oftentimes just simply blurt out their raw feelings without any real empathy. Or I mean, I'm not sure if it's an issue of empathy, but a real understanding how their their fact that they have no filter that they blurt out things so strongly that it may affect another person. OK. So I want you to give you some context here. Now, what's happening through this show is the evolution of his emotions, how he's able to learn to actually his emotions, to express his emotions, to be more emotionally demonstrative. In other words, he's going from emotional immaturity. And really, the immaturity is that his emotions are kind of like a child. And it progresses along, progresses throughout the show. Now, how does this relate towards men? Because in many cases, men's emotional capacity is much like a child. And I want you to think about what I said earlier about the divorce man or the man who's had a significant relationship that didn't work out. This child, emotionally, has experienced trauma. But the same things happened in this show, the good doctor. He had significant trauma in his childhood, which caused him to be closed off emotionally. And this happens to a lot of men. In fact, this is why they turn somewhat emotionally constipated in their lives. And this is why for many women, it's very frustrating because they they they're with, you know, this is the good doctor. He's a really good person. He wants to make a difference in the world. He wants to help people. And it's very challenging for him because he doesn't know how to do this, not the surgical piece, but to regulate his emotions. And in some cases, his emotions actually start to act out in an unhealthy way towards himself and towards others. So I think as I'm watching the show, I'm thinking to myself, this is exactly what many of my clients experience in the dating realm is a man who are emotionally inept, emotionally immature, emotionally constipated. And what happens is there's two particular women in the show that break him open this way. Now, there's a really quickly, there's a girl that he likes, but she put him in the friend zone. OK, there's a girl he likes. She put him in the friend zone, which is very frustrating to him. So then he approaches another girl, excuse me, when I said girl, a woman, excuse me. There's another woman at the hospital he approaches because he likes her and they like each other and they begin dating. Now, as I'm watching this, I know this is going to be a train wreck. And folks, I don't want to spoil the show for you if you do decide to watch it. But I know it's going to be a train wreck for her in particular because we've got the backstory is he cares about someone else. And yet his first experience with a woman is this other woman doctor. Now, she's investing in this person who's incapable of actually with her opening up emotionally. So she finds herself frustrated because he really does care about another woman. She knew this going in. And to some degree, I think she somewhat expected it to happen. OK, because when you when you're conscious that someone's emotionally inept, immature. You really what she did was she accepted him, which is great. She accepted him, what she didn't do. Well, she did do she did do what I'm about to share with you. But the fact of the matter is in many cases, some men are not able. They're able to open up for one woman and another woman. And this is kind of the illustration of how chemistry plays a big part in this process, how we have affinity for some people and not affinity for others. And yet in this particular case, he wants companionship, he wants connection, he wants sex, but he wasn't feeling it 100 percent. This was his default person. And sadly, many women find themselves in the default position. This is why you have to my whole coaching program. By the way, there's a link right here. There's a link below to a schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with the coaches right for you. My whole coaching program is centered on how to vet for emotional maturity based on your personality, because if you're not asking the right questions early on, you may find yourself like her on the short end of the stick. So what I'm about to share with you is critically important to get a man to open up. And this is to recognize right off the bat that emotionally speaking, most men are infantile from an emotional level. They're in inept, they're emotionally immature. They're emotionally constipated. When you have the understanding that you probably have a better capacity at navigating emotions, we could talk about that. Why, for a moment, why this happens for men. I think it's important to recognize that ladies, you are the emotional leaders of the relationship. In fact, when I said earlier, women give their power away. It's because you're giving, you know, you give your power away because we have this this grand traditional expectation that men are the leaders of the relationship.  Well, sure, back in caveman days when provider protector mean, you know, protecting you from outside tribes and going out and hunting for buffalo. Yeah, but we don't live in those times anymore. Now, in many cases, women do, you know, find themselves in dependency relationships from a financial perspective.  But these days, women are capable of providing for themselves and to some degree, protecting for themselves. Because thankfully, we don't live in a world where there's constant wars going on, where there was the need for protection. OK, women are capable of taking care of themselves. Now, a lot of people will say that's the reason why we have ruined relationships because women are independent. And I'm here to say, thank God, women can support themselves because the minute you find yourself dependent on someone else to support yourself. You put yourself at their mercy. So it's great that we see a significant percentage of women that are capable of taking care of themselves. That's really great, I believe. But if you want, now we've got to deal with the men who are emotionally inept, emotionally constipated, emotionally immature. How do we get them to open up? Well, it starts, as I shared with you with the show, is to recognize that men are most likely emotionally inept. This is why you're the emotional leaders of the relationship. And I want to share with you a couple of things to contemplate going forward. First, have that awareness that you probably are a better instigator of emotions and read the book that I recommend, Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters. And I want to share with you a couple of notes that I wrote down.  So first off, as I said before, set an example by being as open as possible. You know, I know many men personally, friends of mine, men, were emotionally, you know, inept. Doesn't mean they're not capable of emotions. This idea that a man are emotionally unavailable is incorrect. It's just they don't have the tools or they haven't been with someone that can evoke their emotions. And I was thinking about a friend of mine, particularly, and he was in a relationship with a woman who continually expressed her emotions. She expressed her feelings. Now, she did it in a non-confrontational way. That's right, a non-confrontational way. When you're confronting someone, that can feel like you're chasing them. You're doing it wrong kind of thing. So there's a difference by setting an example, by expressing your emotions, how you feel about certain things within the relationship.  I think the minute two people decide to have physical intimacy with one another, this is the time to have these serious conversations. Again, in my private coaching, I teach you what's called radical honesty, pre-qualifying your prospect is one of the exercises we do. We have another exercise called improve your guy picking system, because many of you are picking broken men. And the fact is, is you have a broken picker. So again, let's talk if you need that help, but set the example. OK, number two, don't force your emotions on him. It's got to be a little bit at a time in this particular show.  Now, some of you are going, Jonathan, this could be completely exhausting. Yeah, it could feel like it's exhausting, but yet you're in a position when you when two people have a strong connection with one another. And I don't mean lust or limerence. I mean an affinity to one another when you're with someone who's intentional, who genuinely wants to be in relationship with someone just like this good doctor in the show. When you're introspective, just like this doctor, he's constantly trying to improve himself. And when you genuinely like someone, this is the person you should invest in. Now, recognize it takes I was watching Jay Shetty recently is saying that it takes about 40 hours of face to face time just to get to know someone at a basic level. And I always say it takes about 100 hours of face to face time just to build the first layer of trust. Getting to know someone is getting to know who they are besides being on the telephone, physically getting to know who they are. And I don't mean sexually getting to know who they are is critically important to determine. Do you have affinity for one another? Is this person intentional? Are they introspective? And do you genuinely like them? So let me continue here. Don't force the issue. Ask better questions. By the way, if you haven't read the book, Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, I highly recommend this. This already lays out great questions to begin with. And I would read this book before you have sex with a man and discuss chapter one of this book while you're in the getting to know you period, while you're in that building trust period. Ask better questions. Something I was I was reading an article talking while you're in the car.  But a great thing to do is get in a car, drive for an hour and have deeper richer conversations while you're in the car. Just something to contemplate. Now, I said you have to take his personality in consideration when you're choosing to be the emotional leader of the relationship and just recognize that where he's at a development level is probably different than your development level. Now, men will say men are more logical and women are more irrational. I do believe that there are a lot of women who can't regulate their own emotions that have clinical issues and they're with the wrong men because they're the wrong person. But for the most part, you know, you have to consider men are probably a bit more inept. OK. And you have to give him room to practice. In other words, you have to give him room to grow. You know, it's interesting. I get calls from many of my clients now that this this radical honesty is working amazing talking about these books early on in the dating process. I'm getting so many calls from clients saying this works wonders because they're choosing better men, men who are more apt to do this. The reason why a lot of you are chasing the wrong man is because you're choosing a lot of broken men.  And you end up being the enabler of trying to fix a broken man. That's why it's chasing. Folks, it's incumbent upon you to ask better questions early on to determine his capacity. Because this good doctor, as I haven't seen the end of the series, but it seems like his emotions do progress. Now, he's probably never he's never going to be at the level of someone who doesn't have this. But what he comes to the table is that transparency, that genuineness, that honesty and he's a good human being. There are plenty of men who are like that. And I know many of you are frustrated because you think there are no good men out there. And I invite you to start saying it's raining good men. It's raining good men. It's raining good men because there are a lot of great men out there. They just need a little bit of help. And I'm a perfect example of this. I wouldn't be able to show up for my partner there if it wasn't for a woman who helped open up my emotions. And it wasn't my mother. Mothers don't do that for men, for boys. It takes a woman to open up a man's heart. And it's how she does it is by leading by example. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating with you? Please let me know. Please hit that like button. Please share this video with your friends. So I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Post a comment below. Did this resonate with you? Please let me know. And we're going to wrap up this video as I always do.  I'm going to reach into the camera and you give you a hug of love if that's OK. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone. Pat, a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye bye now. Bye.


The BSU women's hockey team will also hit the ice once again this weekend. The Beavers split a conference matchup with Ohio State last weekend, but this weekend they'll travel to Duluth for their first road conference matchup of the year. The Bulldogs come into the matchup ranked fourth in the nation while the Beavers sit 10th, but BSU is out for revenge after UMD ended their season last year. First of all, I got an outstanding team. They got some really, really good players, two of the best forwards I think in the country, Installer and Bricklick. You can put those two against anybody in the country and they'd match up in terms of skill and scoring ability. Their goal is very good. We know we're going to have our hands full. We know it's going to be a big challenge going in there and trying to get points, but that's what we're going to try to do. We're going to go over there and focus on Friday's game, see what happens. If you've enjoyed this segment of Lakeland News, please consider making a tax deductible contribution to Lakeland Public Television.