Okay, so let's say that you'd like to get more affectionate with your man. You want to make him feel loved, cared for, and nourished by your touch. You can actually calm a man down, turn him on, and make him feel more bonded and connected to you through the use of your touch. So that's what we're going to be talking about today. We're going to be talking about how to touch a man to create more affection, to turn him on to make him feel comfortable, to build a bond and a connection with him, even if you're not used to really showing a lot of affection or touching a man in this kind of a way. And so my name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. And by the way, if you really want to get into a relationship where you're loved and seen and cherished, make sure that you go to the foreverwomanformula.com. There should be a link either above or below this video as well if you want to check that out. And so touch was around a long time before verbal language was, as you probably know. And a lot of men right now are kind of freaked out about touching women because of a lot of the things that are going on politically in our world right now. And so there's a lot of men who are out there that are just absolutely starved for physical touch. And so a lot of guys are kind of craving this physical touch with a woman right now, especially if they come from a background where maybe they didn't get a lot of touch when they were younger. And it's one of their primary love languages, which it is a love language, right? Physical touch, right? In fact, it's my primary love language. And it can make a man feel like he is actually being loved by you and that you actually really care about him. And so if this is your, if you're watching right now, make sure that you say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from. It's always cool to see where everybody is watching from. So for some men, it's more important than others, right? So you need to figure out what's important for your man and how he likes to be touched and how much he likes to be touched because everybody's different, right? Like I remember the first time I kind of learned that my primary love language was touch was when I was in a relationship where the girl that I was seeing her primary love language also was physical touch.  And I didn't get a lot of that, especially when I was growing up. Like I didn't come from a family where we really touched or hugged or even necessarily really talked all that much. And so it can be really, really powerful to touch other people, especially if it's something that they really, really value in themselves. And so today we're going to talk about five different ways that you can touch a guy that can be really, really powerful, even if you're not used to kind of showing affection or touching men. And the first one is the head or hair, right? And so this kind of it builds sexual tension, it can kind of relax him, it can make him feel cared for. And so what we're talking about with the head and the hair, it's not, you know, if a guy has his hair all done up or something, you might not want to like mess up his hair if you guys are like going out or something. But just like kind of rubbing the back of a guy's head, right? Like you can do it almost as kind of like a massage and just like kind of touch the back of his head. It's kind of a little bit more intimate and just kind of stroke your fingers through his hair and the back of his head that can feel like just really good, really calming. You can make him feel like you really care for him, right? A lot of guys will kind of like just drop their head down like this when you start touching them like that. And I've seen guys that were just like, just jacked like angry dudes, right? And they're just like in a fit of rage at the moment. And you see like this small girl walk up behind them and just, you know, kind of start touching him in the back of, like on the back of his head, just on his hair, you know, and just like, I saw a girl one time walk up and start whispering in a guy's ear while she was doing that. And he was just like, this big guy just like kind of relaxed and kind of sat down and just like totally chilled out went from like, Royd rage anger to like totally chill and relaxed within like a minute or two. And so it can be really, really powerful.  It can be, it can be really, really powerful. And it's also something that you can do when you're like laying together and you're just, you know, touching his hair. And, and it's just a normal part of intimacy that two people have is like touching each other's hair and stuff like that. So it's definitely something that you can do. Number two is the neck. And so in the neck, there's this thing called the vagus nerve that runs through your neck. And it actually, it triggers something in your body called the parasympathetic nervous system. And your parasympathetic nervous system is something that they call it feed or breed, right? There's like two sides, there's a sympathetic nervous system and parasympathetic. Didn't know you guys were getting like a medical lesson here, did you? And so the sympathetic is like fight or flight, which is like, you know, anger, it's like running away from things like freaking out. And the parasympathetic, which is what the vagus nerve in the neck will trigger is feed or breed, which is kind of like this calming, like relaxing, it can make people go to sleep, right? And medical centers, a lot of times people will rub somebody's neck right around their vagus nerve and it'll help them like relax and fall asleep and chill out because it sends kind of the shockwave through your body that tells you that it's time to just relax and chill and calm. And so you can touch a man's neck to kind of tickle him. You can touch a man's neck to turn him on because that feed or breed part is part of that turning a guy on, right? You can kind of like kiss him on the neck and that can be really, really powerful or massage him there. Or, you know, if you guys are doing physical intimacy, if he's into choking, you can always choke a guy. And if he's into that, I mean, there's some guys that are into that. So, and it's one of those things, even if you're not choking him or something, if he likes it and you can tell that he likes it, you can kind of like scratch his neck with your fingernails just real lightly over his neck when you're getting physically intimate with him or just laying there with him. And it can feel just really, really good. And just putting a little bit of pressure like right here and here can feel really amazing to somebody because like I said, it activates that sympathetic nervous system with the vagus nerve. And it can just make a guy just feel really calm and really awesome. You can kind of glide your lips around his neck and just kind of like almost touch him with it or touch him just lightly or give him little kisses around his neck and that can feel really, really amazing as well. And so I'm kind of going through the spectrum of things, whether it's like, you know, you're kind of just getting introduced to it to the point where you're kind of getting physically intimate and you're a little bit more comfortable with it. So let me know if you're watching this, if you get it, you get what I'm talking about here. Okay, so number three is his hands. And so this is early date kind of connection stuff where you can just kind of touch a guy's hands.    You can do that and it's kind of fun and it's playful and it's just showing interest and it's kind of creating that that physical connection initially that you want to have with a guy. And also there's obviously holding hands. There's a few women that were commenting on one of my one of my posts from our page a while back where there's a few of them that got on there and they're like, oh, men hate holding hands. Only some men hate holding hands. Some men love holding hands. It's the same with everything, right? Like there's it whenever we talk about guys like this or guys like that or guys do this or guys do that. We're never talking about all guys that are out there, right?   Some guys don't like holding hands. Some guys like physical stuff. Some guys don't like physical stuff at all. And just about anything that you can think of out there, there's a spectrum of guys on probably either side of that those scales that and you have to kind of figure out where your guy is in order to connect with him in ways that make him feel really good and that kind of and that also work with you, right? Like if you are big into physical touch and you meet a guy and he hates physical touch and he never wants to do physical touch at all, that tells you a little something, right? Like it's like, okay, do I want to be in a relationship with somebody who's not into physical touch when it's something that's incredibly important to me. And so maybe you end up deciding that you don't want to be with somebody that's not into physical touch or you meet a guy that is into physical touch and you're not into physical touch. It's another thing. It's like, okay, well, one, you can kind of learn about them. And two, it's like, if it's not something that naturally comes to you or something that you really like, it's like, you know, if you're early on in those stages, it's like, is this something that I someone I really want to be with. And so there's other things as well, kind of caressing the hands where I was talking about kind of playing with the hands, but just kind of like lightly rubbing the hands or just lightly rubbing kind of the fingers or whatever.   And it's kind of a sign of of like valuing somebody or appreciating somebody. And I think I think kisses in general kind of do that, right, like whenever somebody's like kissing somebody and it's not like a you know, we're kissing each other kind of thing, but one person's kissing the other person, I think there's a kind of an air of this being like an appreciation kind of a thing.  And it's it's kind of a phallic type of a symbol that you can use to turn a guy on and get him ready and kind of like whoa, like what's going on here.  Okay, so number four, number four is the chest. And so this is another early date kind of connection thing that you can do as well. It shows to a man that you're not just friends. And it can be a very, very intimate kind of connection. It's like for a man, his chest is almost the way that you can think of it is almost like a shield, right, or a plate of armor, right.   And so it shows that that you like to touch him and that you can touch him and that you're comfortable with touching him, which can lead to other things kind of evolving from there, if that's something that you want to do. And so one of the ways that you can do this is just like with real light kind of scratching or touching.  That can be really powerful and kind of make him feel it can make a guy feel really vulnerable. You know, like I said, it's kind of like his plate of armor and you're like putting your hand through it, right. And you're like putting your hand down his chest and it can be really kind of interesting or you can kind of do like light circles around his chest.  It can be it can be kind of intimate kind of flirty kind of kind of interesting kind of make him feel like you're kind of girly, right. And then another one is kissing him there, right.  And then obviously during during physical intimacy, there's you can go back to the whole kind of rubbing or scratching or there's this thing that that can make a guy feel really strong and masculine where you kind of like put your arms together like this and kind of like rest them on his chest, which kind of is almost like a submission position that you'd put yourself into that makes a guy feel really strong and really powerful if you guys are physically intimate at that time. And so the fifth one onto the fifth one here is the inner thigh. And so again, this is a very intimate spot. And at the same time, it doesn't necessarily need to mean intimacy. It's almost kind of like a place where you can send like secret signals to the fact that you're together with each other or show them that everything's okay or all right. If you know, things are quiet or maybe you guys went through something where you were kind of like angry at each other or something like that. It's a place where you can touch him and make him feel kind of a little bit calmer or like, like you get him, right? Because it's another one of those kind of in the armor type of areas, right? Like his outer thighs and his legs are kind of like these places where if you're a fighter, which I am, it's like if you're fighting somebody, it's like the places that you get hit are like your chest, right? It's okay for you to get hit in your chest.  Like on the outside of your leg. And so if you're putting your hand on the inside of that, it's kind of like this vulnerable space because it's a place where it's kind of tender and raw and it's not like if you got kicked on your inner thigh, right? Like if you're in a fight and somebody kicks you on your inner thigh, it's like it could like drop you to your knees right then, right? Because it's really, really painful and really vulnerable right there. And so just putting your hand right there, like while you're like, let's say that you're walking together for instance, this is a time that you can do it. And you just kind of like you're like swinging your hands back and forth, right? And you just like kind of like accidentally like slap or like hit his inner thigh real quick. And you can always kind of like, and it's kind of this playful thing where it's fun. You're kind of creating this physical intimacy. And you can also kind of do like this accusation thing where you, you like hit his thigh and then you like accuse him. You're like, what are you trying to do? You know, I'm not ready for that, right? Like just kind of this fun playful thing where you're accusing him of like hitting on you or making moves on you, where you're actually the one hitting on him and making moves on him. And it can kind of be like this confusing, but kind of exciting, fun, kind of playful tease thing that you're doing with a guy. And so it's so another way that you can do this is you can touch him there. Like let's say that you're sitting at a party or something like that. A lot of guys want one thing that a guy will do to it's not necessarily like a test, although it can be a test is a guy will take you to like a party around some of his friends and see how you interact with those people when you're there, right? Are you staying with him? Are you coming back to him? Are you showing everybody that you're with him or are you kind of going off on your own and pretending like you're on your own and you're not with him at all, right? Which is the red flag for him.  Like not even not like in a like sexual way or anything like that, but just putting it putting your hand there.  And then another way that you can do it is you can do it in situations or scenarios where you're not really supposed to touch him on the thigh, which can be really exciting and fun and kind of a huge turn on for him. And so areas times when you might do this might be like a time when you guys are like in the car or something and you're like kind of reach over and let's say he's driving and you you put your hand on his thigh, right? That's kind of like a it's kind of an interesting time to do that because it's like there's nobody that you're showing this to and you're it's it there's almost kind of like a possessive kind of nature to it, but it's also kind of like an intimate nature and it can make him kind of feel like he's starting to get himself into them into the mood because you're doing this in a scenario where it's not supposed to necessarily happen, right? And you can do this also like let's say you're at the mall or something like that and you're talking and you just like put your hand on his inner thigh and it's just it's kind of a tease, right? It's like a tease for more to come. And I've talked about that a few different times. I'm going to do a whole live stream on teasing and how that works and how you can do it from like a really high macro level and kind of on a more technique like this is exactly what you say and this is exactly what you can do to really tease a guy and turn him on and make him really excited and passionate and desiring you a lot. So that's it for the the five. The first one was touching his head. Oh, and by the way, if you guys have questions about anything make sure that you put them in the chat. And after this, I will go through and see what kind of questions everybody has and answer everybody's questions. So let me know if you have any questions in the chat either about this or your life or anything that you want to ask me questions about, I will answer questions about whatever you want. So the first one is touching his head and his hair like the back of his head, right? Or you can touch the top of his head. Number two is the neck. Number three is his hand. Number four is his chest. And number five is his inner thigh. So let's see what do we have for questions here. Hello, hello, hello, everybody. Hello. Oh, and by the way, if you if you're really serious about getting into a relationship where you're loved and seen and cherished by a great guy, then make sure that you go to the forever woman formula.com. There should be a link above or below this in the description to get you there and go check that out. So all right, let's see what people have to say here. Washington, Tennessee, Philadelphia, Alabama. Hello, hello, hello flower child. Sue. Hi, how are you doing? I'm doing fantastic. Thank you. Thank you for asking, Sue. I agree with you about that. I am watching your video right now. Well, I hope you're watching. This is a live stream. This is a live stream. I hope you're watching my video right now. So Mona says even he doesn't show that he wanted to be touched, right? Well, like I said, it's like, how does a guy show that he wants to be touched? Like what does a guy do to show you that he wants to be touched? Right now, we were like I was talking about earlier, we're kind of in this place politically around the world actually, mostly kind of in the West where there's kind of this weird thing going on around touching women. And so a lot of guys are kind of very, very hesitant about touching women. I've talked to a lot of women that are like, yeah, I've gone on dates with guys and they're like freaked out and scared about touching me and they don't touch me. And it's kind of this thing. And so touching a guy can be really powerful and it kind of gives him permission and makes it so that he feels like he's allowed to touch you without it being kind of this weird thing where he's coming across badly, right? So touching can be fun. And if you want to get into touching and you want to make it more normalized, you can just touch everybody, right?  I'm a big hugger. I like to give people, everybody that I talk to, that I even have even slightly or remote kind of like friendship bond with. I'm like, yeah, you know, like, give me a big hug, right? It's fun. Selena says, took a break from medical lessons, found another one here. Nice. So Saudi Arabia flower child says, thank you. Mona says, I found out he does like to get touched, but he might be shy because usually I am the one who starts touching and flirting. Yeah, like I was saying, there's a lot of guys that are very kind of shy or timid about touching this day and age. And so it can be powerful just to give him kind of, you know, touching him just to give him permission to start touching you back. Ashley says, what if I'm nervous about kissing my sweetheart in public? Well, is he nervous about kissing you or is it just you that's nervous about kissing him, right? You can always start light, like if you want to do like public displays of affection, you can always just start light and start something that's not super heavy and just do things that are lighter and kind of build up and get yourself more comfortable, right? Like when you're not, when you're nervous about something or something makes you uncomfortable or you're afraid of something, the way to get over that is to do it. And so even if you're kind of doing it in small chunks, you just do a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, eventually you'll start becoming comfortable with it. And then at some point, everybody will wonder why you say that you used to be afraid of it because they'll be like, oh, wow, it's amazing. You're very comfortable with this and you're very confident in this, right? And that's, that's how you build confidence and become comfortable in something is to do things that are uncomfortable. Takesha says, not sure, not sure how to be flirt with my guy. Some tips, please. Well, I just gave you some tips about flirting kind of with your hands and touching, but you can also flirt with a guy with kind of, there's a ton of different ways you can tease guys, right? Like one of the best ways to flirt with a guy is to accuse him of flirting or hitting on you, right? Like it's one of the best, it's one of the best ways that you can do it because it's basically showing him or telling him you're creating a frame, right? I talk a lot about framing, especially in my Love Frames toolkit. If you're interested in getting that, I think there's a link around here for that as well. And in framing, you basically, what you want to do is you want to frame yourself as being this really valuable person. And how do you frame yourself as being a really valuable person? Well, one way to do it is to accuse him of flirting with you or hitting on you, right?  You know, I'm not ready for that yet, right?  And he's not. And it's kind of this fun, playful, kind of flirty thing. You can do it in a whole bunch of different ways, right? Like if a guy says something to you, and you're just like, you're like, is that your best pickup line that you have for me right now?    You know, like we, we need to be a lot more comfortable with each other, right? And he probably wasn't even meaning it, right? But you just switched kind of the, the conversation from being this conversation about like this boring topic of going home to this topic of like, he's trying to hit on you and he's trying to get you to go home with them. And he, you know, he might kind of backpedal with it, or he might kind of have fun with it, you know, like, oh, I know you'd want to or whatever, right? And it can be a kind of a fun, flirty kind of way to have a conversation with a guy. There's a lot of different ways you can compliment men, right? Complimenting men is a really great way to flirt with them and just, just saying just things about them, right?  You have just amazing muscles. Like, wow, that's just, it must have taken you years to, to get strong like that. That's, you know, a good job, good job on that one, right? And just doing stuff like that, just saying, just giving them compliments and just complimenting them on things, especially that he's worked on, right? Like the build thing is, is a good one because it takes a lot of time for a guy to like build himself up strong. If that's something that, that he, he does. So Sandra says, is it a good groan if I've kissed his neck and he groans or is it discussed?  It depends on what kind of a groan you're talking about. You'd have to, you'd have to like record a groan, record him groaning and then send the file to me and I'll listen to it and I'll tell you whether it's a good groan or a bad groan. So IMCT says, what touches don't men like? Um, what touches don't men like? Men don't like, so like I was talking about before, it depends on the man, right? There's, there's different men that are into different things. And if you date a guy and he's really into something, right? Like let's say that you date a guy and he likes to wrestle and he's just into like wrestling and like choke holds and like messing around and you scratching on him and stuff. And you date another guy, he might be totally turned off by that. And so you got to like experiment, right? You got to experiment with him to kind of find out what he likes and what he doesn't like. And an easy way to do that is to just ask different things, right? Like just ask them, it's, it's, I talk about this in, in actually the forever woman program. If you want to get that, you can go to foreverwomanformula.com. Links are up above and below here. Had to throw the shameless pitch in there. But one of the things that you can do is, oh man, what, what was I just talking about? Touching? What touches does he not like? He doesn't like, oh, so you have to find out what he's into, right? So one of the things that I talk about in that program is the, is the would you rather game. And it's a game that you can kind of play when you guys run out of things to talk about or you want to kind of do a flirty thing or just have fun. And you just ask him a bunch of different questions that are like, would you rather this or that, right? And so you can say this or that you don't have to use the would you rather, you can just say, you know, like tea or coffee, right? Like hot or cold, you know, beaches or mountains, right? And you just kind of play this game where you learn about each other by just asking each other questions about either or. Well, you can do that with kind of touch as well, right?   And you can learn quickly what kind of things that he likes or that he doesn't like. Chrissy says she's in the Bahamas and there's a hurricane there. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Ashley says, well, we never been around each other yet, but I want it to be special. Okay. Flower Child said I am touching. I am a touching person, whether it's the arm or a hug. I love, I love touching. It's my favorite thing. Literally my favorite thing in the world. Barbara says kind of hard to get the shoes for my girl, even though I get some, but not a big deal. But I don't know what you just, I don't know what you're talking about there. Yayay says when I, when I asked him why he said I should delete my Facebook and he will delete his as well. And we'll no more talk with a girl. I don't know what you're talking about there. Yayay. You got to give us some, some context here.   All right. So Takisha says, thank you for the tips. Love these videos. You are welcome. Barbara says hard to get a check from the prices. How could you picture? What? Hard to get a check from the prices. How could you picture? I don't know what that means. Camila says, Hey, Matt, I would, I like what you did with your hair. You look like a Catholic schoolboy in a good way. I don't know. I don't know what that means. Camila, Catholic schoolboy. Okay. Well, I appreciate that you like my hair in a good way. So Camila says, is there a way to touch a man specifically that can reveal whether or not he is into me by his reaction? That is. Well, I think that if you touch a guy, it's, I mean, it depends on the guy, right? Like it depends on what's going on with him because touching is more of like, Hey, I'm interested in you, right? And if you start touching him and you're giving him permission to touch you back, a lot of times what will happen is he'll start touching you. And so it'll become like this thing where you can like he'll, he'll start escalating. You'll both start kind of escalating touch with each other until you get to a place. And so if you start touching a guy and he starts touching you back, right? If you start, you like touch his hand and he like squeezes it, right? That's an indication that, that he wants to touch you.   If you're hanging out with a guy and it's in a non-work environment and you touch him, he will probably touch you back and he probably likes you in general.  That is the assumption that you should make.  And it doesn't matter whether he's touching you a lot or not touching you all that much, you should just always assume that any guy that's hanging out with you is into you. It's very rare that guys just want to hang out with women as friends. I mean, it does happen. And for most guys that have tried to do this where they hang out with a guy or with a woman and they're like, hey, I just want to be friends or whatever, what they found is there's always somebody, there's always whenever you're hanging out, guy and girl together, there's always one of them that usually likes the other one. And if a guy is the guy that's not into you and you're into him, that can happen. It's happened before. It's happened with me. I've hung out with women that were into me and I've just been like, yeah, I want to be friends.  And they start showing me that they like me by doing things like acting jealous and kind of like getting rid of other women that come around us and like all kinds of other things. And I'm like, oh, okay, she likes me, right? That's why she's hanging out with me. It's not because we're friends. It's because she's into me, right? And that's typically the scenario almost all the time with everybody is there's at least one person likes the other person.   If you can kind of understand that, if you if you get what I'm talking about here. So Camilla says, so basically, if he touches me back, then I'm good. Basically, you're good in general. If he touches you back, you're really good. Camilla says, she loves my laugh. Thank you. I love that assumption of liking. Cool. Camilla says, I meant more in like a work or school situation, not dates. Okay.  And I don't recommend that you mess with people in work environments because it can get messy really quickly. And if things go bad, then it can it can blow up in your face really quickly, although a lot of people find their spouse at work. So you know, you can kind of take that as you will. So Diavolesimia says, can you talk about jealousy? Good, bad, uncool. Well, jealousy is a normal natural feeling that people have, right? So everybody should feel jealousy, assuming that you're not like a psychopath or something like that. You should experience the emotion of jealousy. And if a guy, I'm guessing you're talking about a guy experiencing jealousy, or maybe you're talking about you experiencing jealousy. But if you're talking about yourself experiencing jealousy, then my suggestion is that you don't act on jealousy, right? You can feel jealousy, but my suggestion is you don't act through the emotional experience of jealousy, because that gives off an impression of neediness. And you don't want to give off an impression of neediness because that makes a guy feel less attracted to you. And making a guy feel jealous can work in your advantage, but most women take it to the extreme. So I don't teach about that because it's a really bad tactic from a standpoint of trying to make a guy feel jealous, because one, it's really manipulative. Two, it can hurt a guy a lot. And three, if you don't do it the right way, which most women don't, you can completely destroy your relationship with a guy and make him not trust you and feel like you're a horrible person and not want to talk to you ever again. And so my suggestion is that you don't deal with that at all. Don't try to make a guy feel jealous. Flower Child says, if you're on a date, chances are they like you and touching is all good. Yeah. Debbie from South Africa, cool. Jasmine says, do men have to be taller than women in a relationship? No. No, they do not. Absolutely not. I know a lot of guys that are into taller women. In fact, I was actually just talking to a friend of mine about this two days ago because he was telling me about this girl that he met and he was just like, oh my God, you got to see this girl, right? And he like shows me this picture of her. And this guy is like maybe five foot 11, something like that. And this girl is, she's got to be like, I don't know, like six foot one or something like that. And he's like towering, she's towering over him, basically. And he's like, yeah, you know, like talking to her and stuff in this picture. And I'm just like looking at it. And I'm like, I'm like, that is awesome. Like that's the coolest thing I've ever seen, you know, and he's just like, he's like, yeah, she's so hot. And I'm just totally into her. And it's so awesome. And I love girls that are so tall and, you know, all that kind of stuff. And so a lot of guys are into it because from a kind of like a genetic standpoint from and just to let you know, like in the world, this this whole there's a lot of kind of genetic things in the marketplace of like sexual behavior and attraction and being attracted to one another, one another. And being tall is an indication of healthy good genes, right?  And in a guy's mind, and he might not even necessarily logically think about this.  And it would make the kids taller and being tall as a man is a biological advantage in terms of finding a mate. And so if a guy's a little bit shorter, he might look at women that are taller and be like, I need a, you know, like it would be like he's really he can get really attracted to that just because he's like, Yeah, you know, like we could have awesome kids and like it would be awesome. And, and like I love women that I like that. And it just, you know, and I don't want you to get too caught up in the idea of like him just thinking about it in terms of kids. But it can be really, really attractive, right? And all of these things, all the things that men and women are kind of attracted to each other for are usually kind of these primal biological things, right? And it like there's kind of areas of like dominance where guys will be attracted to shorter smaller women because they're into kind of this idea of dominance and being a strong man and and wanting to be in a relationship where they feel that way. And then there's kind of like this woman that's taller and you know, and it's the same way with women when they look at men, except it's not as kind of instant a lot of times with women, although it can be, it tends to be more like women tend to gauge men's value in terms of their like replication value as a mate through their behavior and being a guy that's strong and capable of reproducing and having great offspring and being able to take care of those offspring and stuff. That's the biology, right? So anyway, all right, I hope that answers your question, Jasmine. So Portland Girl says, hey Matt, I told a guy I'm dating that he sounds wheezy. He told his doctor, he said he told his doctor that his girlfriend said this. Then he said, girlfriend equals you. This was over text. What is this? What does he mean? Well, basically what he's saying is that he's comfortable calling you his girlfriend and he's kind of testing the waters with that. That's what he's doing right there. If he's like, hey, I told my doctor that my girlfriend said this and girlfriend is you, right? Basically what he's saying is I'm comfortable calling you my girlfriend and it's kind of a lot of guys will do that when they're kind of testing how a girl feels about it because as much as we talk about like commitments and men being commitment phobic and men not wanting relationships and all that kind of stuff, there's a ton of women out there that are the same way. And if a guy starts talking about relationship stuff too early in interactions with women, a lot of women will just ghost on guys who do that. And so guys have learned that for the most part they can't do that when they meet a woman. They can't just start talking about wanting to be in a relationship or wanting to be married or calling her his girlfriend or any of that kind of stuff because they found what guys have found is that women will run off and disappear as soon as guys start talking like that. And so a lot of guys won't do that. And then they'll kind of slowly bring it up if that's something that they want to do. And so he's probably just testing the waters. Jasmine says, I am taller than my boyfriend. I feel like we're told men should be taller. Now, generally speaking, most women don't want to date guys that are shorter than them. And just because of kind of those biological triggers, right? Like a lot of women are like they want a guy that's bigger and stronger and like all those kinds of things. And that's it, right? That's it. That's where it is. And some guys want to be the bigger and stronger one. And they're really turned on and attracted to women that are smaller. However, if you find a guy and he likes bigger, taller women, just be okay with it. It's no big deal. Like a lot of guys love that stuff. Mona says, how can I change our conversation subject? He usually talks about work and not about ourselves. I want to know about what our position at this point right now is. Oh, yeah, I mean, it's that's what guys do is guys talk about work, right? That's what guys always talk about. And women like to talk about relationships. And so that's not a topic that men typically want to talk about. So I wouldn't expect him to start talking about your relationship. If you want to change your conversational topic, you can do that at any point and talk about whatever it is that you want to talk about. The real question is, how long have you been seeing this guy? What kind of a relationship do you have right now? And why haven't you talked about it up into this point? That's really what the question is. And if it's been a while or a long time, then that's that that should be that should be a red flag or concerning for you, because it's like it should it should give you pause. It should make you pause and make you think about things and go, okay, you know, why have we got to wherever we are and not talked about. And I haven't said because it's really, for the most part, it tends to be up to women to talk about this because it one, it's your responsibility because a lot of guys will stay in a relationship forever and not want anything more. And so you need to protect yourself because of that, right? If women were like that, then guys would need to protect themselves. But since guys are the ones that can be in a relationship forever, or in a situation ship or a casual friend with benefit situation forever and not really care for it to go anywhere else, you need to be the one who brings the topic up and discuss whether you're exclusive or whatever it is that you need and figure out what your needs are and why they're important, right? Like, do you need to have a label? Do you need are you looking to get married at some point? You know, and those are questions that you should be asking yourself because that's the kind of thing that you need to know about because for a guy, most of the time, a lot of the time, unless he feels a threat of you walking away or not being there forever, most guys will get comfortable with getting all their needs met without the labels and without exclusivity and without marriage and without any of that kind of stuff. And if you feel like that's not enough for you, one, you need to figure out what that is. Two, you need to figure out where you are together with each other. And three, you need to make sure that if you communicate what it is that you need and if he's not willing to talk about those things or not willing to give that to you, you need to be willing to actually walk away from the scenario and start seeing other people and dating other people and become less and less available for him so that you can be available for a guy that actually does want that. And I talk all about that in my forever woman program and how to do that and how to make sure that you're in a great situation where you are seen and loved and cherished. And so my suggestion is you go to the foreverwomanformula.com shameless pitch. If you want to learn about that, you can get the program for free and get my best stuff for free there. So go check that out. Robin says hello from Chicago. Thank you for these live streams and videos. I love them and I'm trying to learn from them. I am just not sure if I am ready to ask my question yet. Okay, well let us know when you are sure, Robin.  What does that mean? We live in separate countries and are not exclusive yet. Well, it could mean that he wants to be boyfriend, girlfriend, and it could not mean anything because it's just easier to introduce you to them as that. And he probably wants to feel like you guys are together and he wants them to know that you guys are together.  Like he's proud to be seen with you. And so he wants people to see you guys together and he's okay with that. And the real question is what is that, you know, what does that really mean? You know, and we talk a little bit, I talk a little bit about labels sometimes here and there. And really the idea of labels is like, you know, there's only so much real meaning that it has.  And it's kind of this kind of like possessive thing, right? Like we're together, we're boyfriend, girlfriend. And there could be an implication of exclusion in there. For most people, there is unless he's somebody that's into open relationships. But most people that are into open relationships usually let that person know beforehand.  I'm kind of stuck. Okay. Flower Child says, tall men give me a sense of security and the protector. Exactly. Just like what Flower Child said, Mona says, it's been two months. Yeah. And what have you guys talked about, Mona? Have you talked about being exclusive? Have you talked about being in a relationship? Have you found out where it is that he wants to go with things? Have you talked to him about any of that kind of stuff? Because those are things that you absolutely should have talked to him about way before now. Are you guys physically intimate with each other? Because you definitely should have talked about every single one of those things before now, if you guys are physically intimate with each other. Jane says, I have this guy I love. We both have great sex together. I feel something deep for him, but I don't know what he really wants. Well, you should let, you know, I keep talking about this and I get it. You know, I get that what ends up happening is that you see somebody you're attracted to them. You let things go. You want it to be organic and natural, but we have a, just to let you know, Jane, we have a whole community and a lot of women in that community are stuck in situations where they were just hooking up with a guy and they ended up falling in love and developing feelings. And next thing you know, they're like, you know, how do I get to a relationship from here? And I'll just, I'll just throw some statistics at you real quick so that you get what that means, right? Because you haven't really said anything outside of you guys have been hooking up together. And so if you're trying to go from a casual friend with benefits type of scenario to something real, something committed, that happens when somebody tries to do that, it happens one in nine times. And so you need to be having conversations about what he wants and like, whether you're going to be exclusive or not, you need to have that conversation before hooking up. And I know that you're not there now, right? So that might sound a little bit like, okay, who cares? I'm not there now. Well, what it means is that you need to find that out immediately. Like immediately, you need to have a conversation with him. You guys need to hang out meet up. And you need to have a conversation with him where you find out what he's looking for. Because if you don't find that out, what's going to happen is you're going to fall deeper and deeper and deeper in love until the point where you're like totally head over heels in love.  So that's what you need to do. You need to talk to him. Okay, so Mona says, unfortunately, as you say, I'm always there for him. Thank you so much, Matt. Okay, I don't know what you mean by always there for him. So Jessica says, hi, watching from Mississippi. Hey, Indiana. Jasmine said, how can I stop my relationship with others? Oh, comparing your relationship with others? So how do you stop comparing your relationship with others? Well, what you do is you spend more time connecting with yourself and connecting with how you feel and connecting with what's going on with you presently in the moment and with whatever it is that you're doing. Another way that you can stop doing that is by looking at where you've come from. You know, I don't know where you are in terms of anything, but a really powerful thing to do when you're kind of comparing yourself with other people is to look back and look at what you've done, what you've survived, what you've accomplished, what you've created for yourself in life, what you're working on and how far you've come from any of those standpoints, whether it's health, wealth, relationships, or whatever. Just taking a look back at it and saying, how far have I come? Where was I before? And where am I now? And how can I be grateful and appreciative of what I have and where I am and what I've experienced and what I've learned and how strong I've become as a woman right now instead of trying to see what other people are doing, right? Because who cares what other people are doing? Who cares what's going on with other people? And a lot of the times, especially what's going on with other people, is that you don't understand that a lot of people's situations and scenarios aren't really what's really going on there for them. That's not really what's going on there. A lot of times people, it just looks like they have a ton of really awesome stuff, like they have a great relationship, they're making a lot of money, they're doing it. Who cares? That's probably not what's really going on with them. It might seem like it from the outside. They might say things like my relationship's perfect. They might be in these pictures in Instagram and Facebook, holding each other, swinging, doing whatever they're doing, dancing and stuff together. But that's kind of what we're expected to do to the world. And what's really going on with most people is we're all pretty much the same. We all have issues. We all have stuff going on within ourselves. We all question whether we're doing the right things in our lives and whether we're with the right people or not. And we all have fights with each other and we have problems.  So okay, so we reached the top of the hour here. So I got to get going. But thank you so much for being here with me right now. Again, if you really want to experience an amazing relationship where you're loved and seen and valued by an amazing guy, make sure that you go to theforeverwomanformula.com and check out getting my program there for free. And thank you so much for being here with me today. I really appreciate you coming on these live streams and supporting me and what I'm doing and allowing me to be on your journey and helping you attract a great guy and get into a relationship that you want to be in. So thank you so much. I'm really what I'm doing here is I'm trying to help empower you and help you have the tools that will allow you to create a relationship that you really love and create a life that you really love and experience love and joy, not only in your relationship but in yourself and with yourself. So thank you so much for being here. And I hope you got a lot out of this live stream. Thanks for asking questions. I actually love doing question and answer. It's one of my favorite things. I talk to so many coaches and a lot of coaches they like don't they don't talk to the women in their community. And I'm just like, why not? It's like I love you guys. I think the women in our community are amazing. I think you are amazing. I love interacting with you. I love just having conversations with you. I love finding out about what's going on with you and hearing about your struggles and in helping you. The thing I love the most is the testimonials and watching women go from struggling to a place where they're feeling amazing and having great relationships and in love and a guy's in love with them and everything switches around. And all of a sudden a guy is stepping up and in acting the way that they thought that was just something from fairy tales or something like that. And it's so cool to see that and see women go through that. And so thank you so much for being here. And I will speak with you again soon.


Back to artists leaving Spotify. Let's have a realistic conversation not a and so we can really get into the business model of it all as well Not a one-off if you Corey wanted to hop off of Spotify and then stole direct Decorate could probably do it successfully right Make it happen. Cool. You made more money or maybe you're making a livable wage. That's great But let's talk about the masses All right, we really saw impact like oh man most artists leave Spotify and All DSPs because let's stop like people have this Spotify conversation. You can't just leave Spotify You gotta leave DSP if you really want to fight that fight. Otherwise, it's nothing boy So you're leaving DSPs and you're going direct in that way Do you think that's possible or what do you think it looks like for the for the masses? Not not a one-off artists here or there because there are those that already exist. I Mean, I think it's I think anything is possible. I Imagine there are artists who don't have their music on The streaming platforms who are making a living and it just depends on who their fans are what their strategies are what their community looks like I think exclusivity and physical releases that kind of thing Work really well if you have the community built so when I go on tour with soul for example we're selling vinyl and clothing and that saves us on tour so Spotify our music song Spotify, but I you know I Don't even pay attention to the royalty statements beak from from the Labels or you know, whoever is is giving us those recordings sound recording royalties it's so inconsequential and On the other hand, there are artists whose consumers are almost entirely on the streaming platforms And so it's incredibly important for you to nurture those connections. I Think if you're in a position to do all of the above and benefit from it Great, that's amazing because now you have so many Different royalty streams working for you and that's an amazing thing because then you're not putting all your eggs in one basket, but if more traditional methods of releasing music and Selling your your assets such as vinyl and CDs and tapes and whatever if that's What has worked for you and you just are deciding that you don't want to invest that kind of energy in Spotify than cool or if you want to leave One or more streaming platforms because of moral reasons or because of political reasons. I respect it all I think It's just a matter of figuring stuff out. I think we get wrapped up in the platforms and the methods of sales rather than The viability of sales themselves If we're having a conversation about whether or not you should get off Spotify Let me ask you how many fans you have that are listening to you on Spotify to begin with and what is your fan? Outreach strategy and what does your community look like and most artists You know Unfortunately are putting the cart before the horse in these conversations because they don't even have an album of Spotify yet And they're just psyching themselves out. I find a lot of creatives are like that We put the problems before the actions.  So it's just it's silly to me because you'll have a whole hour-long debate with someone about the merits of Relief of taking your music off of the streaming platforms and then you realize They have one song out from five years ago with with three Listens and you're like, why are we having this conversation? This isn't relevant to you You have to figure out how to get your music to people first And whatever method you find works for you. Cool. I I would personally I'm not telling people what to do I would personally encourage you to explore more than one option Especially if one option is working, but even if it's not like my thing is where where there are people Who listen to music get your music there and then decide but give it a real effort Some people be like, you know, I put my beats on beat stars. I put 10 beats on beat stars in a year later I wasn't rich so I got off I Put an album on Spotify and nothing happened. It's like that's not okay You're hopeless, but for the people who really are putting forth an effort. They're gonna have more experiential anecdotal and quantitative data So they can make better decisions But you got to do it and you have to do it at a high level for a long time in order to even have The insight to figure out what's working. What's not what needs to be changed how it needs to be changed, etc Yeah, I think you touch on the important part of it is I don't think artists are looking at these platforms as just a marketing a marketing tool Because the money is typically where it starts first Right, so in your example if I'm the artist looking at like man, I could Hypothetically go build a million fans on Spotify But then if I do I'm not I might not be getting paid fairly because of what I've been saying But we're looking from the side like yeah, but it still helped you get a million people in saying that if you're moving Smartly, you should be able to do other things with those people. You know saying assuming um, you know You just become better educated about a point or the right people get around you But I really think that's what most of the issues stem is like hey You're thinking about the money from the platform before about the reset of the platform gonna for you Yeah, because it doesn't matter what you do if you're not taking full advantage of these moments Then you're just wasting your time if you play a show for a thousand people and you get off stage and leave the venue Without taking photos with people without sitting at a merch table and trying to sell physical product without having an email list That people can sign up for what did you just do? You just wasted all of those precious Potential fans that that was an amazing opportunity same with Spotify if you have You know if you if you suddenly get a thousand monthly listeners What can you do and I don't have a quick answer because it's it's different for everybody but what can you do to Convert those listeners into actual community members. How can you reach out? How can you figure out who they are where they are how to talk to them more directly and I think that's another problem, but like I Don't want to overwhelm people who are watching this and think wow I got to just be this data analyst who's constantly doing 12 things at once You just have to plan and when you mess up, which you will you just have to have the the self-awareness to Recognize that you messed up and then the the drive To correct that so the next time you don't You know a big thing that I don't think people focus on enough is I've never seen an artist not be able to sell fan direct Because they're on Spotify Like yeah, Spotify doesn't mean you're gonna make less or more and taking your music off of Spotify Doesn't mean you're gonna make less or more It's a completely different experience than direct and to have like all of your music as leverage I just haven't seen it play out as well as people kind of imagine Maybe it's like a short-term market marketing tactic for us a second But long-term it never really plays out that well like for instance always say As an example, I remember what Prince was going so hard keeping his intellectual property off line And I was having conversations with my dad and I was trying to like get more references Prince And I'm like man if this stays on for too long You just gonna miss the boat in terms of the future generations You'll have this great artist that you know, there'll be a chasm Maybe somebody eventually finds it and brings it back But there's just a generation that can't acknowledge it because they can't consume it. It just is what it is, right? Obviously, you know That that moment passed he allowed things to be out there But that's three a small artists can't afford that right? It's like you're trying to build in a silo and that just doesn't really make much sense to me Yeah, I was gonna say Prince can kind of do whatever he wants It's not gonna affect his his life or his legacy in any real way, but Again, you know, if it's a symbolic gesture, I respect that too. I'm not here to tell people what to do with their music I think If you want to stand on your Protest of Spotify stand on it great because you know, they pissed me off, too That's cool. Like if we want to get into the like symbolism and things like that But I think a lot but when we talk about like straight business, right a lot which most artists are really speaking from now A lot of the symbolism if they were making a certain amount of money that symbolism argument wouldn't be there All right, I don't I hadn't heard any artists who's making 5k a month make that that argument or 75k a month I haven't seen those people were making which is kind of sad from from an ethics standpoint, right? but again Businesses is something that we often associate with the erosion of Morals it's a new year and I know you want to go to a new level in your music career and luckily for you That's what we do here help artists grow get more streams grow their fan base do shows get connected with people who can Help them and have direct conversations to help you build out your strategy These are the type of opportunities that we provide for free and no labels necessary Com but the thing is it's not always open to new people, but the beginning of every year We get a little loose. We say alright Let's go ahead and let a flood of new people in and once we hit our new registration cap It gets a lot harder because we got to slow down on letting people in off of the wait list So apply now and no labels necessary calm because the faster you apply the faster you get in Absolutely free back to the video. We have one post that we put on our IG page Where it was addressing this subject. You wouldn't believe how many artists would be like, oh, man That's perfect. Like get rid of them there less competition or like this is Like any we're talking about artists that don't even have a lot of streams themselves, right? So I think there is a worked Idea of how things are supposed to go one way or another and I think artists don't even realize That they're not all on one accord and the reality to me is again just going back to the share business One this is a marketing platform We've always promoted as something where this is not where you should be looking for the majority of your revenue I always said Spotify is losing money and to be looking to Like looking for the best out of a company that's losing money Why they're losing money how it's ran is a whole another thing, but they're losing money They're looking at it's podcasting right to try to make money.  I'd say if they're making these aren't our different billions of dollars a day What but I'm saying it's it's it's helpful to keep that in perspective because otherwise There would be absolutely no reason for these Spotify These streaming platforms to exist right because if they're not making money and the artists are all disgruntled Why does it exist? Well the consumers like it, but Yeah, the the businesses are there to make money off of the consumers They're not there to provide enjoyment for free to the consumers while they hemorrhage for sure collateral but so it's someone's making money and that's the reason we have it so I Don't know if it's gonna go anywhere anytime soon Just because it's it's centralized. That's that's how the the music business works the majors centralized Assets and they do so on behalf of all of us even if we have nothing to do with the conversation or We have no Connection directly to those labels so that that's that's problematic, but I think They're you know either we just Are angry about it and do nothing or we're angry about it and we figure a way to to still survive and thrive Well, what's the other way right because you have for instance like with SoundCloud was You know falling down. I don't know was maybe four years ago now and they were going through it Of course, you look at it There's no way they're gonna get rid of SoundCloud somebody's gonna have to buy it because it's too big of a centralized All right resource you have all this data and The reason things I feel like go back to centralization Especially when you talk about music is it's so hard to adjust consumer behavior. So once you have something There at that threshold Well, all right, we got to figure out how to make this work and lean into it as much as possible Until something else happens to happen But you know, it's so hard to force a new thing to happen when it comes to you know, that level of consumption So you can't yeah exactly that's what they tried to do with NFTs and it didn't work Exactly, and it's a lot a lot of money that went that went into that And you know all you got was more education about it and a lot of people who still don't know what the hell NFTs are People don't even realize like I told people like I don't know how long I've been in music whatever now But like it was maybe two years ago now And I remember talking to my dad about something going on Spotify. He was like, what's Spotify? I'm like, oh shit At the restart the whole conversation, you know and that goes back to speak like certain audience is Maybe your monetization is not there if you're trying to make money off of him There's a lot more money like I think you know, he knows he knows YouTube music and all that stuff well not YouTube music but listen to music on YouTube and a lot of these other platforms So there you might be cutting out a way to reach your audience is better for sure But it doesn't come from like I don't you're not gonna make money because you cut Spotify out outside of me The the focus that you might have on something better, but not like from the fans, they don't look at it that way that way They don't care Yeah, I mean it's easy to just upload a song to Spotify and call it a day. It's it's a lot harder and More expensive to create physical merchandise and a campaign around that So I think a lot of people I think this is what's funny to me about the conversation A lot of people will say a lot of artists will say well Just just do physical merch just do these kinds of drops just do limited. It's like that. What do you mean jest? It's all hard. Let's let's not act like Dropping out of Spotify is just this pill that you swallow on the next day. You wake up successful The amount of marketing man that goes into that In addition to the logistics in film you still basically have to do the same Overwhelming low that you already complain about And then you have to add more logistics That same it's it's all my point is it's all hard So if you have people saying well, just simply get off of Spotify or simply just just upload your music to Spotify It's like neither of those options Whether you eliminate one over here add one over here take away The immense amount of work that you're gonna need to build community in Order to create sustainability in your music career