All right, welcome everyone we're here today to learn more from Jacqueline Wales about are you living life on purpose. If you need close captions you can click on the little icon with the two C's that are down below. And I would like to let you know that the San Francisco public library acknowledges that we occupy the unceded ancestral homeland of the Raman Tush Ohlone peoples, who are the original inhabitants of the San Francisco peninsula. We recognize that we benefit from living and working on their traditional homeland. We affirm their sovereign rights as first peoples and wish to pay our respects to the ancestors, elders and relatives of the Raman Tush community. Come see us at the fourth floor at the main library, you can visit us at the Business Science and Technology Center. If you are not able to to physically join us. You can reach us by chatting online, you can email us at miscitech and SFPL.org that's B US SCI TCH at SFPL.org or give us a phone call at the reference desk and we'll be happy to chat with you. Please check out our upcoming programs at SFPL.org events. We've got a lot of wonderful things for you to enjoy and learn from. And so please just go to the events calendar. We have in person and virtual library so check both, both cues and you'll see what's coming up in the next month. If you missed one of our recorded programs, you can go to our San Francisco Public Library YouTube channel. And for the Business Science and Technology Department, you would look for the work it playlist so you go to playlists and then work it. And you can see that there are many, many programs for you to enjoy and learn from. So now I'd like to introduce our speaker as the author of Fearless Factor, the Fearless Factor at work. And when the crow sings and soon to be published the Fearless Woman handbook, Jacqueline Wales has explored human behavior and asked tough questions to find hard truths for more than 35 years and now works with clients to achieve remarkable results that help them go beyond fear. Please welcome Jacqueline Wales. Thank you Leah for such a wonderful introduction and I am going to share my screen with you. And there we go. Let me go back to the beginning. All right, well, welcome everybody. Thank you all for being here. This is very cool. And I'm here today to talk to you about are you living life on purpose. And we're going to dig in on this and we're going to look at why we want to live in life on purpose, why we don't live our lives on purpose, and what we can do to start taking some really good action steps to identifying what that is and where you're going. As Leah said, I'm the author of the Fearless Factor and the Fearless Factor at work. And I'm also the author of when the crow sings which is a semi autobiographical novel based on my family history. I have also been doing this business of guiding and advising people for the last 18 years. And my whole purpose in life is to help individuals to really claim true ownership and authority of their roles in life. I specifically have worked with high achieving women over the last 18 years, and no matter who you are or what's going on, there's always some form of fear and self doubt that gets in the way of achieving the things that you want to achieve. And that's without further ado, get into why we are living life on purpose and for the next hour, you're going to start taking some notes and that's what I would urge you to do right now is think about what notes you need to take on this. And if you've got questions, or you've got some thoughts on this. I love to share the chat with you so let's go and start with this right now, and I'll get you rolling on it. So, let's go to why purpose matters. And as you can see here, we all need some kind of purpose because if we don't we wonder aimlessly, and we might feel that life doesn't have enough meaning to it. Living a life on purpose means that you are contributing to something beyond your own needs. And I'm pretty sure that the many of you who are on this call today. You're starting to think about what that is for you and it may be your career. It may be your service to others. There's all kinds of ways in which we can start to think about what purpose is going on in our lives. So if we think about why it matters, it impacts every part of your existence with meaning, energy and anticipation. And let's think about that one for a moment. Energy and anticipation. That's really about what gets you out of bed in the morning. What is it that gets you excited about what it is that you're doing, and how you're doing it, because that's truly what this is about. I like to say that there are three ingredients to living a fulfilled life. And the first one is a sense of belonging part of the community, which is why you're here today.  And the last piece is the meaning piece. What is it that gets you up in the morning, gets you going, energizes you and makes you look forward to what's coming next? Purpose also, as I said, ignites a fire in you that fuels every day with clear direction and goals to pursue. It also brings clarity and focus to overcome uncertainty. And this is a big one right there because there are days when you wonder why you do what you're doing. You wonder if anybody's paying attention to you. But when you have the clarity and focus to know why and the vision to know why you're doing what you're doing, overcoming uncertainty gets to be a lot easier to deal with. Purpose also prioritizes your health and well-being because truly, if you're not taking care of yourself, if you're not taking care of your health, your nutrition, your well-being, your self-care, it's very hard to pursue on the purpose side of things. Purpose also impacts your relationships and brings deep, meaningful connections.  Think about the relationships that you build in your life in general in your community and are they deep and meaningful connections? Many times that's what really inspires us is working with others. And certainly for my own life, it has been a driver for a lot of why I do what I do today and previously. So the relationships you build are the ones that bring that deep, meaningful connection. And purpose, of course, is your ticket to fulfillment, meaning, and joy. And this is ultimately what we all want, isn't it? We want to feel fulfilled. We want to feel that life has meaning and joy. And so again, figuring out all of these different elements here, you can see that this is bringing a great deal of energy and anticipation to your life as you consider this. How do you define purpose? Okay, so it means pursuing a life aligned with your passion, your vision, and your purpose. Now, a lot of people say to me, what about my passion? I don't know if I've got a passion. Well, again, what is it that excites you? Where do you see yourself going?  But we all need a sense of a vision of where we're going in order for us to move forward with it. And as I do in my work, I help people explore their strengths and weaknesses so that they can really start to grow their lives in the direction that they want to take. Finding your purpose is meaningless without commitment and action towards your goals and dreams. So here's the thing about this. We can all wish for something to happen. But unless you're actually going to be taking the action steps towards what you want, it's not going to happen. But mostly it's about commitment. This is exactly what I'm meant to be doing, where I'm going with this, and I'm going to be taking these steps. So we're going to talk about goals a little bit later in this program today. Imagining yourself and your best possible life can help define your goals and dreams. How many of you spend time imagining yourself and your best possible life? And if you're not doing that, what is it that's getting in the way? And we'll talk about that in a moment as well. Defining your purpose is also about your work, your relationships, your home and creative life. It's not just about your career. It's not just about building your relationships. It's about the entirety of your existence. Are you living the life you want to live? That's really the bigger question here. Is this life satisfying you? And if not, what do you need to change in order for it to be different? So being clear about your purpose allows you to stay self-directed, creative and optimistic about your future and develop the confidence to ask for what you want. Now this is an important piece here. Asking for what you want. I know a lot of people in my life and certainly the clients that I've worked with who don't know how to ask for what they want. They wonder if they deserve it. They wonder if they can actually achieve whatever it is that they set out to do. So you've got to be creative and optimistic about the future. You've got to believe that the future that you want can be had and you've got to have the confidence to be able to walk towards it. And if you need help from anyone or anything, you've got to ask for what you want. Any questions so far? I don't see any questions in the chat, Jacqueline. Okay. Good enough. So let's continue on through this. There we go. I'll go back there. I like this. Life is short. Do stuff that matters. Most people, not most people, but many people will spend their life going. I was born. I'm not an education. I went to work. I retired. I died. That's the short story. But what happens in between all of that? What are the experiences that make you come alive? Because life is short. And I'm now in my 70s.   So it's more important than ever that I do stuff that matters. Another thing about goals, and I love this acronym, which I made up. It's great opportunities to achieve life's success. Most people think of goals as, you know, I've got to set them down and I've got to work towards them. But think of it this way.  Great opportunities to achieve life's success. So if you don't take away anything else from today, think about that. What opportunities are you creating for yourself to achieve life's success? And part of that is about living your life on purpose. Purpose is often tied to what you love to do. You've heard the expression, you know, do what you love and the rest will follow. It doesn't always work that way, to be perfectly honest with you. But it is tied to that passion piece that I mentioned earlier. You don't have a sense of loving something, whether it's, you know, take care of your garden, or whether it's getting out and doing some community service or building relationships that matter to you. Whatever it is that you love to do, painting, making music, I'm a professionally trained singer. I worked for 14 years to perfect my voice and eventually ended up as a cantor for synagogues in Paris and Amsterdam for five years. And I have to tell you, it was some of the most profound music I had ever sung in my entire life, and it was tied to the love of making music. So what is it that you love to do? And how can you transform that into something meaningful that really does bring satisfaction, fulfillment and joy into your life? These are the questions that we have to ask. What makes you happy? What energizes you? And what would you do if you had all the money in the world? And here's what I'd love for you to do in the chat right now. Tell me about what makes you happy. Somebody said they like the acronym. That's great. Creating software. Well, certainly in this age of AI, there's plenty of opportunities here. Traveling and eating good food. I'm right with you there on that one, Shelley. I love traveling and good food. Working with to rescue dogs and dancing and traveling. I love it. Friends, family, nature. I can see a theme here. There's a lot of traveling and good food. What would you do if you had all the money in the world? What would you do differently? Tell jokes. Yes, why not have a sense of humor. Life's too short for no, no humor and rescuing animals. Very important. I have a rescue dog at home. And she's been the sweetest thing we've had in my life for a long time. I have my own causes and foundations. Excellent. All right, let's go down to the next set of questions for you. Okay. Why is my mouse not moving? Okay, hold on a second. There we go. Your purpose should align with your personal values and beliefs. The values piece of this is really important. And here's the question. What matters to you? What do you stand for? Because if you stand for nothing, there you go. And what do you want to contribute to the world? Let's take a look at that last question there. What do you want to contribute to the world? Any thoughts on that one? Why do you want to leave the world a better place and where you found it? It's kind of a little hard at this moment in time because the world seems to be in a bit of a messed up place. It's a human being. Absolutely. That's a worthy goal right there. Honesty, integrity and service. These are really great values. I certainly am aligned with them. Kindness is also a value. And compassion. And by the way, on the subject of compassion, self-compassion is the biggest one of all. Dalai Lama would tell you that one too. So identifying your strengths and weaknesses.  What do you consider your natural abilities and talents? I seem to have been born with a gift of the gab. I was born in Scotland and I was definitely told that I talk too much. My kids used to bump into me or be with me in the supermarket and they would bump into a neighbor and they would say, how much longer are you going to talk for? Well, I found out it was pretty good at talking. And that's what I do for a living. My talents. I'm obviously a trained singer is one piece of that. I'm a writer. I've done martial arts and I have a black belt in martial arts. And of course, I started my business, the one that you're currently looking at. When I was 54 years old, when someone suggested that I had a natural ability to connect with people. So what skills, knowledge and experience do you have? And what areas do you think you could improve and develop to enhance your purpose? And by the way, this all of this presentation is going to come to you in a PDF after we're done today. So all of these are questions you should be asking yourself in order for you to take advantage of the great opportunities to achieve life success. Love what you do and do what you love. That's the message. But most importantly, love yourself.  Let's look at the lack of purpose. Many times we lack purpose because of internal and external obstacles and our own self beliefs. The ways in which we view ourselves as capable or not capable, something to offer or not to offer. Someone who has worth and has something to contribute to society. These are the things that stop us from thinking about our sense of purpose. So lack of self awareness is number one. When I talk about self awareness, I ask the question, who are you? What matters to you? Where's that you want to be going? And most importantly, what is it that's getting in the way? And that's the bulk of what my programs are all about. When we are self aware, we know our strengths and weaknesses. We know where our blind spots might be. We know that there are things that we can contribute to the world that make a difference. And we also know that we have self worth enough to be able to contribute in a meaningful way. So do you know who you are? You ever heard the expression, who do you think you are? And it's said in a very derogatory way. But if you reframe that a little bit and say, so who do you think you are? Can you think of one word that applies to you? And you can put that in the chat if it makes sense. Who are you? Not your labels, not what you do for a living. Who are you? Strong person says Angelica. Who are you? How do you identify yourself? Supportive, excellent. Love it. You could be generous. It's another way of describing yourself. A generous person. Talented person. Kind and caring person. There's all kinds of ways that you can describe yourself once you get to know who you are. But to know ourselves, we have to examine our beliefs. We have to ask ourselves what are the stories that we tell ourselves that may not be the truth of who we are. And I, any of you were on my first presentation for the library. It was on why fear matters to your success. And I talk about fear from this point of view. Fear is simply the stories that we tell ourselves. It has no empirical evidence. And when you ask yourself the question, is it true? You generally have a hard time answering that. Because you don't have the evidence for it. So examine your beliefs and get clear on your values. Now some people would say, you know, what's your values? Well, mine's family, beauty, integrity, honesty. I'm looking at my top values here. And these are the things that when I'm not aligned with my values, I'm going to feel like I'm out of whack. I'm not sitting clearly with myself. Here's another big one. Lack of purpose can also be a fear of failure. What if I try something and it doesn't work? Well, what if you try something and it does? But here's my take on failure. What do you avoid making choices? What risks have you taken recently? And how has fear, failure stopped you from taking action? But here's the big thing I know about failure to be true. Failure is simply a choice of decision or an expectation that did not go the way that you had planned. Failure is tied to our fear of success as well as the fear of failure. And so taking a committed stand to something is sometimes feeling a little bit threatening. But the biggest failure, of course, is a failure to try. And there's only one word you need to apply to failure and that word is next. Because that's what failure is. It didn't work out. So let's do something else. Let's go to next. The external pressures that come up in your life is another reason for a lack of purpose. Do you live by other people's expectations of you? Have you chosen a career that someone else wanted for you and you went down that path? Have you chosen a career for convenience? It pays the bills. Not exactly my life filled with meaning and purpose, but it gets me from A to Z. This is a big one. Do you sacrifice yourself for other people's needs? Too many times we get other people going, I need, I want, and you might be one of the first people to say, yes, how can I help you? But sometimes that works against your own best interests because you're following the path of someone else, not of your own choosing. Anybody relate to that on this call right now? Simple yes or no answer? Yeah. It's pretty common. It's pretty common. So you have to ask yourself, you know, does this serve my best interests? And if it doesn't, then you've got to make a different choice. That's really what this comes down to. So let's move along into the next part of this. Living life on purpose, moving, eating wisely, reflecting, knowing your purpose and connecting. We've touched on all of those to some degree during the early part of this presentation. So if you think about your commitment to movement, how often do you go for a walk? How many times are you working out? Are you eating? Are you eating nutritionally? Are you choosing the right kind of foods for yourself? Are you taking time to reflect, to really think hard about, you know, what is it that matters to me? Where are the areas that I hold back? Where's the areas where I could improve? What do I need to learn in order for me to be a better version of me? I'll tell you from the work I've done for the last 18 years and also all the decades of working on myself, we all want to be a better version of ourselves. And of course, knowing your purpose. Again, what is it you're here to do? I'm here to serve. And I'm pretty sure that many of you on this call today also feel the same way that you're here to serve. And relationships, the connections are really critical for human beings. We come into this world and we immediately need to connect. We just had Mother's Day. Guess what? The world wouldn't be what it is if it wasn't for mothers and for the connections that we make.  And think about how you can enrich those connections going forward. Purpose matters because it transforms lives. And life isn't just a series of events and experiences. It's about creating a strong narrative of what it is that you want out of the life that you're living. Why are you here today? The title of this particular presentation clearly resonated with you. Living a life of purpose. Wow, what does that look like? I don't already feel that that's what's going on. It's meaning and fulfillment. It's about feeling that my life has value. Not only does my life have value because I have chosen this purpose to be here, but it helps to create meaning and fulfillment for other people too. Does your life have a clear meaning? Do you feel fulfilled? And are you actively engaged in activities that inspire you? Now, give me a yes or no on this one, whatever thoughts you got. I love that Martin decided to retire so you could focus more on his own purpose. So Susan says it's a no no and a yes. So use the last piece, Susan, to get you to the place where you feel fulfilled and have a clear meaning. If that makes sense to you, you can tell me yes. Anybody else brave enough to share on this one? Okay, let's go for the next one. Motivation and drive. I like that Martin says I feel like I'm in the right direction but have further to go. Well, that's a good thing. That means that the car is driving in the right direction and you have the motivation and the drive to go further. So again, when I said earlier, do you have a reason to get out of bed every day? Is it easy for you to overcome obstacles because you know why it matters to keep moving forward? I would say Martin probably would say yes to that. Is that a yes, Martin? And you have a clear vision of where you're going. And the thing about driving the car to where you want to go is that you want to keep your eye on the road and your hands upon the wheel as one of my famous door song said. So, you know, we can only look forward. If you're constantly looking in the rear view mirror, you're going to end up crashing into something. So you got to keep moving forward. You're going to end up being in happiness. We all want to feel good. Do you experience a surge of excitement when you're engaged in what makes you happy?  That's a very subjective thing. We all have different definitions of what happy means because it's really what are we engaged in. So tell me, what makes you happy? Do you feel that one? I'm sure you've got something that makes you happy. Children's laughter. Absolutely. Achieving your goals and making another smile. I love it. Yeah, my dog makes me happy all the time. But she makes me laugh out loud. She can be ridiculous. I did the presentation in PDF form. And yes, you can watch the recording again on this San Francisco library YouTube channel. Bird singing. I love bird singing. I can sit there and listen to them all day long. Do you contribute meaningfully to the things that you care about? That's important. And are you satisfied with the direction your life is taking? That's a big question right there. A lot of people would say not really. But then again, we're all a process of evolution. I like to say there's no point, there's no there there, there's no end point except for when it's a pine box and you're in it and you're going out the door. That's the end point, at least as far as this life is concerned. But other than that, you get to make different choices all the time. But what makes you happy? What gets you out of bed in the morning? What gives you a reason to get beyond the obstacles and really define the life that you want to live? Not living by other people's expectations of you, but truly being able to step into your own power.  I like this one because I really do feel that this is the sign you've been looking for. This presentation and your presence here are there for a reason. You are clearly curious about why this is important to you and why you need to understand it a little bit better. And hopefully my presentation is giving you the tools to be able to do that. So finding your true path and purpose requires patience, self-reflection and action. There are no magic bullets to this. It is simply a process of discovery. And I'm hoping that the questions that I posed for you today in this presentation is allowing you to think a little bit more deeply and think about how it's helping you to discover what's important to you and your life. Self-reflection takes time. And yet, it's not to take that much time for you to start to notice where it is you're not showing up for you. Back again to what I said earlier about what are your true interests, your values and your strengths. Have you taken the time to actually analyze that? Have you written it down? Is there any way that you can sit down with a pen and paper and sit down and really think about what is it that really turns me on? What is it I really care about? And what am I really good at? And I agree with you. This seems to be a good area to journal on each day. Where do you hold yourself back? Where do you tell yourself you're not capable? Where do you get in your own way with regards to what you think you're all about? And remember that question I asked earlier. Who are you? And coming back always to what about that matters to you. What gets you excited when you think about it? But beyond that, what gets you excited when you think about it and then you go, oh no, no, no, I don't think I can pull that one off. I don't think that's me. Anyone relate to that?  It's like, I get excited about it, but no, it's not realistic. Can't make that happen. I know I've done that. Anybody else got thoughts on this one? I'm loving your comments. Love to see them. Teresita says she's relates. So here's another big one. Be prepared to experiment. It doesn't have to be right every time. This brings you back to the failure piece. What is failure, but an experiment didn't go quite the way that I had planned it to. And when was the last time you tried something new? Are you willing to say yes and to expand your horizons? Here's another, here's a big thing about this one. To expand is an improvisation process. You don't say yes, but I might say there's only one button you're sitting on it right now. But the yes and allows for expansion. It allows me to take the story somewhere else. And when I'm in conversation with other people, rather than go, yeah, and, you know, yeah, but that'll never work. What else is possible? And where have you gone out on a limb for something you believed in? Does anybody want to share with me what that last question is asking? Where have you gone out on a limb for something you believed in? But think about it and on my own life. I've certainly gone out on a limb for my clients at times. Where I've been willing to say something that I knew to be true. And when I presented it to them, they understood it to be true too, but they'd never heard it like that before. And it could have been right or it could be wrong. Doesn't matter.   And when we go out of our way to support people, to support the causes that we care about to bring ourselves into situations that might be uncomfortable. But we're willing to give it a shot. And yeah, deciding to work for a startup that is a huge risk right there. But if you believe in what they're doing, then you're willing to take that risk. And seeing your dogs, of course, they do get left behind. People don't want old dogs. Well, I'm an old dog. And I can tell you right now, you can teach me new tricks. And I like that you said this, Stacy, you will go out on a limb for others, but you rarely do for yourself. Here's the big thing about that one. You know, I think you're worth it. And I'm just going to say that right out on on the air. Because a lot of the time when we don't show up for ourselves, it's because we're afraid that we're not worthy of it. And going back to school for your MFA. Congratulations. But yeah, you need to go out on a limb for yourself more. And that's about, I believe in me, we can go believing in other people all we like. And number one, this comes back to the health and wellness piece is you seeking guidance for all of this is really critical. One of the reasons why I do the job I do, but not only that I've had more coaches and teachers and advisors that I can keep track of over a lifetime. And every single one of them has led me to this place right now. This is confident. I didn't always sound as good as I do right now. Maybe I don't sound good right now. I don't know. But the point being is, I wouldn't have got there without the teachers, mentors, trusted advisors, coaches, guides, you name it, whatever it was programs. Because I needed to go out on a limb for myself to prove to myself that I've actually was a whole lot better than the point of view I had on myself an earlier age. So again, I'm coming back to clarifying values and goals. This is a good thing to have a sounding board for. This is someone you can trust that you can say, I've got these ideas, but I'm not sure about them. So let's dig in and let's examine them to find that true path. And have you asked for help to define your purpose if you don't know what that is? Because again, this is what good coaches, mentors, advisors do is we help you to clarify and examine and ultimately come up with something that leads you forward in a positive and a fulfilling way. Which is really all I care about as far as helping my clients. And it's hard to go through life without good teachers. This is from Eleanor Roosevelt. And she said the purpose of life is to live it to taste and experience to the utmost to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences. She also said do something every day that scares you. So tell me something about you've done recently that scared you and you did it anyway. Some thoughts on that one. What have you done recently that scared you? They put you out in a limb believing in yourself and seeking guidance conflict with each other. That's really an interesting thought there. That means you don't trust the person who's giving you the guidance. Look at that travel 12 countries all alone in the past eight months. Congratulations Michelle. That's great.  That can be a full time job. I get it. Congratulations to you for taking that on. I love people don't as you probably well know. So purpose is aligned with success. Now, most people think of success is, you know, the houses, the cars, the material things, the stuff of our life. And I've had plenty of people who, you know, define their lives by the stuff in their lives. But that's not for me what success really is all about. Success is about how do I feel about me how do I feel that the life I'm living has purpose and is all as aligned with how I see things in my realm of achievement. I've achieved a lot in my lifetime I grew up in poverty in Scotland, and I was not expected to succeed at anything I was told as a young child by my father, many, many times that I would never amount to much. Well, how wrong can you be that it took me a few decades to go figure that one out. But what I realized was that success was not about how much money I had in the bank how much you know what kind of car I was driving how big my house was had all of that. It's an internal thing. Do I feel like I've succeeded and as I said earlier written three books, made music made a CD at one point in my life. I achieved a black belt and karate. I took up CrossFit when I was in my 60s and lifted weight like I never would have imagined at that point in my life. So I measure my success by the achievements that give me a sense of work. And that's the biggest piece for me for success. So as we're coming up on the end of our presentation today here's what I'd like to cover with you. Living life on purpose means taking care of yourself and pursuing a life filled with meaning. Find that meaning however you can.  If you don't know what they are, take a hard look at your life and see the things that have mattered to you and the things that you cannot live without because that is really the true sense of values. If I do not live by these particular values, my life does not feel like it's aligned with where I want to be. A plan for success must involve doing the right things in the right order over the right amount of time. Yeah, that might seem pretty damned obvious to you, but when you think about it, you know, life is in some ways the paths that we choose are sequential during the right things in the right order over the right amount of time. I can't tell you what the right things are, or what the right order is or the right amount of time, only you get to decide what that looks like. Through yourself and the future that you want to create, and when you can do that, you can start to pursue your passion, your vision, and your purpose and do it meaningfully so that you start to get the results you're looking for because great opportunities for achieving life's success are part of your goals. The purpose of life is to express oneself through true self reflection living life with honesty integrity warmth and compassion in order to leave the world a better place. That is my definition of purpose of life, and that is how I live my life with honesty integrity warmth and compassion. And I do want to leave the world a better place and I don't know anybody who doesn't want to have that kind of impact. In terms of how they live their lives at the end of the day what are they going to say about you. We'll see you were a good person will say that you lived your life honestly will say that you gave something to the people that surrounded you. And they'll say that they're very happy you were here. And that's though we really want at the end of the day. When we connect to the truth of who we are through deep introspection and dedication to the things that matter to us. We are simply living life on purpose. And before we wrap this for today. I want to hear from you. How has this presentation landed with you. Thank you Michelle. Yeah, thank you Martin and will give you a lot to think about. And when you get the PDF, don't just file it away. I would say, take it and use it as a document to help you clarify your vision, your passion, your goals. And what is this that you really want out of your life. And it is a roadmap sunny. No question. All of you are interested in talking to me directly about this. Very simple you can reach me and you will get this right here at the end of the presentation. All the contact information you should need. And questions are really the essence of all of this people like to say I'm looking for answers and I say no no no you're looking for good questions. And we can all do with more self reflection. We're looking for ourselves. That becomes a really important piece of this. And of course you'll be able to listen to this whole recording again on the website, when it's uploaded. And I'm just really grateful that I had the opportunity today to come and share this with you, because there is no question in my mind, we all need to have a little bit more purpose on who we are. It matters to us. And where is it going. Anybody have any questions for me before we wrap this for today. My email is Jacqueline at Jacqueline Wales calm right here on the last slide. Feel free to reach out to me by email. Happy to answer any questions that might come up for you. And of course all my books are available in the library. And I'm sure you can find them on the nonfiction and the fiction side of things. I'm happy to hear that Michelle that it's been very helpful to you. Okay, I think we have it here and I am going to stop the share and come back to you. All right, well thanks again to all of you who joined us to hear Jacqueline's words of wisdom. And hopefully she'll come back to us again at some point. We've enjoyed her three part series it's been very fortifying for all. Thank you so much Jacqueline and we'll look forward to reviewing your recording and slides and and more to come. So thank you very much Leah for having me as part of the library series. And thank you everyone for showing up for this for yourselves. And I really appreciate it I don't like talking to an empty room so I'm always grateful for your presence as well so wishing you all the very best and go find that purpose that you're looking for it's out there. Good night everyone night everybody.


Break time, break time, break time, and break time. Break time to break. Break time. Snooze you lose, kiddos. Chicken nuggets don't last long around here. I don't know about you, but I used to dunk my chicken nuggets from Mickey D's when I was a kid into honey. Yes, yes I did that. Did anyone else do that out there? I'm sure you did.  I mean it's not healthy, I know, I know, but after painting all day, well, a lot of the day, I don't mind, I don't mind. What just happened here? What just happened here? I just painted our front door red, and true love and I, we just are so excited about this color, the blueish gray, a couple people yesterday commented and said they loved the blueish gray choice, and we love it. However, we're not 100% sure that we love the red that we chose, it's like a little, it's got a little bit of an orange tint to it, so I'm going to put a second coat on tonight, and then I'll show you guys the door tomorrow in the full sunlight. It's actually looking better than I expected, this red in this, you know, it's the golden hour right now with the sun setting. Bottom line, we're excited, thanks for being here, true love's going to be home probably in about an hour, so I'm going to go get a run in, paint the door again, and then try and surprise her with the red door, and try and of course, film it for you guys.  I like it, I like it. She's home, she's home, she's backing up.  Hi Michael. This is part of it, okay, yeah, you did it, you put it in there, okay, are you cold?  Okay guys, hold on, I got him, I got him, I got him, on the sidewalk, guys don't, don't touch, don't touch, don't touch, okay, sorry, one more step, okay, and then right there, stay there, and in, and in, open, husband get to kiss, husband get to kiss, oh the, the tea, tea kettle's on, tea kettle's on, don't touch the door, don't touch the door's wet, Joseph, nice, absolutely, incredible, isn't it looks, look at it with the white and the blue, just when you thought you were all done, all done, you remember the back, the back door needs to be red, if the front door is red, the back door better be red too, right, so I will work on that tomorrow, keep the momentum going if you know what I mean, jelly bean, so we are moving forward, did you get the email yesterday, I sent out the first ever daily vlog roundup email to all of the subscribers, if you're not subscribed to the email list, check it out down below in the description, I'd appreciate it, if you just want to get a little behind the scenes content, the best photo of the week, all that good stuff, be sure to subscribe, just your first name and your email, that's all, I won't, trust me, I get plenty of email, too much email, so I won't inundate you, one email a week that is it, and I'd appreciate communicating you with you on that platform, that is all on a Sunday, I'm struggling with the question of the day, and I don't like to force the questions of the day, it's only if it's genuine and authentic and like really from the heart that I want to get to know you better, and so if I don't think of one throughout the day of filming, or yeah, if I don't think of one throughout the day of filming, I'm not going to ask it, but I did just come up with one because it connects really, really well to today's vlog, which is, what do you think of the red door, what do you think of the red door, the red and blue combo, I guess though, you didn't really see it in the full daylight, again, come back tomorrow, you'll see it in the full daylight, hopefully it'll look nice and nice and snazzy for you guys, love ya, thanks for being here, let's do this, seek beauty, work hard, love each other, see you tomorrow, Monday


Well hello there my beautiful internet friends and welcome back to another Saturday story time You may note that we are not in my normal background We're not at home or sitting in my car and I hate filming in cars I feel like it's kind of tacky But this day did not go according to plan this week has not gone according to plan And I do not want to miss telling you guys a Saturday story times this week We're gonna be talking about the time that I had to go to the Mayo Clinic And if you know what the Mayo Clinic is you'll know that that's a pretty big deal And I'll talk about what the Mayo Clinic is in just a second for those of you guys who don't know But in today's story time, we're gonna be covering why I had to go there How I got in how my experience there actually was versus kind of what it was built up to be and if I got any answers when I left So if you don't know the Mayo Clinic is this kind of giant medical city It's just a big medical campus in Rochester, Minnesota And the best of the best of the best work there People from around the world try to get in to see the doctors at the Mayo Clinic because they are the top of their field Generally speaking, they won't accept you They won't review your case unless you've exhausted resources in your area and that was the case for me They wouldn't consider my case until I had exhausted doctors in Colorado and like good medical centers here in Colorado I didn't initially think of going to the Mayo Clinic But it began to be a real possibility in my mind after about a year of meeting with doctors here in the area and getting Absolutely nowhere. So what was actually going on? Well, I know some of you guys know this already But I had found out in 2013 that I had a key RML formation Which is essentially a brain condition where the back of my brain is like compressed against the back of my skull I was supposed to have brain surgery for that but they canceled it last minute because they just determined that the risk Was going to be way too high for the possible payoff But that left me with a host of nasty symptoms with migraines almost every day Being super dizzy super out of it super nauseous just really unable to function as a person I couldn't work consistently. I couldn't do anything consistently It was kind of scary to try to go and drive anywhere because I didn't know if I just have to like sit and Lay down in my car in the parking lot for two hours as this condition like Combined my head and took over my life and I'd have to wait somewhere until it left And so I didn't really feel safe going many places I couldn't work full-time for sure and no one really had any answers because it didn't present itself like other things Like I had a lot of migraine like symptoms But it wasn't just like migraines like everybody else has migraines and so after that brain surgery was canceled because they said I don't think that this is like causing all of your issues. I think there might be something else going on You should talk to other neurologists That's what I did and I talked to other neurologists for a long time here in Colorado So I talked to a number in the Springs and then I went up to Denver and we talked to them and the consensus was essentially like We don't really know which was not helpful because I was a young 20 year old not able to really live life And I just wasn't satisfied with that and so I began to consider the Mayo Clinic because people always talked about it I had had friends who had gone there and they talked about it kind of like is this medical heaven Where everyone could solve your problems and one of the things that they talked about is that doctors from different specialties Would actually talk to each other like the same day about your case So you wouldn't be bounced from doctor to doctor to doctor waiting weeks at a time for the next appointment And I was like, yes, that sounds amazing. Get me in there, please But they only accept kind of complicated cases I ended up with a primary care doctor who actually used to work with the Mayo Clinic and eventually he got me in They accepted my case So I was supposed to go there for my first appointment and then it was kind of an Undetermined amount of time that I would be there for Brian being the lovely human being that he was we were not married at that time And my mom we all got my little white Chevy Sonic Which is not a big car for three people and drove from Colorado to Minnesota in the winter paired for I wasn't really sure What but we didn't know if we were gonna be there for like one appointment or like 50 And before we go any further talking about the Mayo Clinic specifically I want to talk about something that I think really impacts Patient care and how I felt as a person and in doctor's offices so often I would be explaining myself over and over again I'd have like three minutes with a doctor before they were on to something else after waiting like two months to get in with This specialist who was super important and front desk workers have bad days And so sometimes they wouldn't be nice to me and like trying to schedule appointments is difficult And getting doctors to actually listen to you and take you seriously is very challenging and referral systems are Frustrating at times and so I've been dealing with that for quite some time And then I showed up to the Mayo Clinic and I felt like I was like checking into a five-star hotel Now I wasn't actually like stay like I wasn't like staying in the hospital I we'd rented like an Airbnb nearby, but they treat you like you're a person From the moment you walk in the door like I was handed like a nice packet and like schedule of events Essentially of like who I was gonna meet with when I was gonna meet with them Who those people were how it was gonna be laid out and even just like that was so refreshing And then it like all began so we kind of checked in on day one and then day two is when I was supposed to start meeting with specifically like the neurologists and I was understandably super nervous because I just wanted an answer like I Just wanted an answer. I just wanted to know what was going on. I wanted something to be better I wanted to be taken seriously because a lot of doctors didn't really a lot of doctors would just Have more important things to do than listen to me if that makes sense And when I got to that first appointment someone came in who was basically a physician's assistant and he already knew my case But he listened to every word I said for honestly about 20 minutes and did like a bunch of Neurological tests and then said okay. Well, then I'm gonna bring in the doctor and she came in and knew my case She did not ask any of the questions I had already answered to the person before if you have ever been in a hospital You know that you answer the same questions like 27 times. She knew why I was there She knew what we had tried before she knew what medications I was on She knew which ones I had tried before like she was on top of things and that set the tone for the rest of my time at the Mayo Clinic it was Honestly kind of like awe inspiring when it comes to the medical community It it really blew me away and like I said, I was really scared for that first appointment, right? And she told me I think what you're dealing with is vestibular migraines where essentially you don't get the Piercing horrible pain quite as bad, but you get a lot of vestibular symptoms a lot more than other people do And I think you're dealing with some kind of dizziness issue on top of that So I want you to see a couple other colleagues But while you're here, let's do lots of other stuff too because I was also dealing with chronic neck issues And chronic pain issues when it came to that and so from there I started seeing other doctors Now here's the thing the Mayo Clinic is booked out for like months, right? But they said if you go to the front desk first thing in the morning and say that you know You're here from out of town as most people are and you would like to see the doctor and you sit and you wait There's a good chance that they'll get you in and that happened every single doctor that they recommended that I get in with I was able to see By sitting in a waiting room Patiently throughout the day and and waiting for it to happen They made time for me They made time for me every single one of them and the initial neurologist that I had seen Wanted to see me one time again before I left so I had like I think it was just about 10 days that we were there It may have been a little bit less than that that I was just talking to doctor after doctor and you know what? It was one of the most gratifying experiences of my life when it comes to medicine because every person I talked to listened to me No one was in a hurry. No one was rushing off to do something else important Like I was the important thing like that in itself was a super healing experience because I had so much Experience with doctors who had more important things on their mind than my life That was in shambles and then I was at this place where people were on board to figure out What the heck was going on and all the doctors seemed to talk to each other and they knew it was going on and Long story short that initial diagnosis is the diagnosis that I have I have a curey malformation. I have vestibular migraines and I have chronic subjective dizziness syndrome Which apparently is a real thing. I just get dizzy a lot. I tip over a lot I'm just very wobbly and they were some of the first doctors to ever Talk about the fact that some of the Relational and emotional trauma that I had gone through might be impacting my physical health Might be impacting like the rest of my body and other areas that I felt pain in which for the record They were right about for the record that is completely accurate But other doctors had brought it up like an afterthought like oh, maybe you're just dealing with anxiety You know like brushing it off, but they took it all very seriously like, you know You have PTSD and that's a serious thing and that can really impact the conditions that you have And here's what you should do to take care of that and here's some suggestions that we have And they didn't fix anything during those many days that I was at the Mayo Clinic But it was such a healing experience to go and I have nothing but good memories Even though I didn't get any answers because of like how I was treated And how I was treated by every single person I came into contact with anybody who worked there treated me like that And I'm sure my experience is not everybody else's experience, but the experience that I had was amazing It's super frustrating that there wasn't a magic pill that I could take that could fix everything But doctors who actually listened to me took their time and then gave a considered thorough diagnosis After doing a lot of tests and talking to a lot of people was so helpful and so healing They suggested a number of things that I should try and then like come back They invited me to like come back after a few months if those things didn't work But that trip was expensive and so we have not been able to go back to the Mayo Clinic And also I found doctors that I was able to work with here in the area that were really great too But a long story short the Mayo Clinic experience that I had was incredible And I'm super grateful for it even though we didn't get any answers just being listened to Was incredible and different and healing So today's Saturday story time is you know filmed in a car and a little off the cuff And less of a story as an accounting of events But I did want to share that with you guys because I know a number of you are actually facing going the Mayo Clinic I know some of you have actually been to the Mayo Clinic and are at the Mayo Clinic And so I just wanted to share my experience going there because it was a slightly life changing one in a good way A huge shout out to all of my patrons you guys do so much for me You keep the lights on you keep gas in my car and I really appreciate you today's patron of the day is jody merkel Jody, I'm so grateful for all you do for me. Thank you guys for listening. I love you I'm thinking about you and I will see you soon. Bye guys


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